Understanding The Self and Identity in English
Understanding The Self and Identity in English
Understanding
the Self 2
A. What makes me ‘I’
Learning Objectives
2A.1 Introduction
While we all have many things in common with our parents, siblings, other
relatives and friends, each one of us is also a unique person, different from
all others. This sense of being unique gives us our sense of self — the sense
of ‘I’ which is different from ‘you’, ‘them’ and ‘others’. How do we develop
this sense of self ? What we think about ourselves and how we describe
ourselves — does it change over the years? What are the elements of the
self? Why should we study about the self ? Does our self influence the way
we interact with people? In this unit we will study about these and other
interesting aspects of the self.
Related to the concept of the self are two other concepts — identity and
personality. While psychologists distinguish between these three concepts
in terms of their definitions, the concepts are intricately related and we
often interchange these terms in common usage.
Understanding the Self
Activity 1
6. I am…………………………………………………………………………………….....
7. I am…………………………………………………………………………………….....
8. I am…………………………………………………………………………………….....
9. I am……………………………………………………………………………..………...
10. I am……………….……………………………………………………………………....
has those aspects which relate only to you while the social self refers to
those aspects where you are involved with others, and includes aspects
like sharing, cooperation, support and unity.
We can say that the term self refers to the totality of a person’s
experiences, ideas, thoughts and feelings with regard to herself/himself. It
is the characteristic way in which we define ourselves. The idea that we
hold of ourselves is the notion of the self.
You must have heard and used the terms self-concept and self-esteem
with reference to yourself and with others. What do you mean when you
use them? Write your thoughts in the box below and discuss these after
reading the definitions given after the box.
Key Terms
Review Questions
1. Explain what you understand by the term ‘self’. Discuss its various
dimensions giving examples.
2. Why is it important to understand the self?
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B. Development and
Characteristics 2
of the Self
The self is not something that you are born with, but which you create and
develop as you grow. In this section we will read about the development
and characteristics of the self in infancy, early childhood, middle childhood
and adolescence.
Activity 1
Put a dot of red lipstick/colour on the cheek of the infant and then place the infant in
front of the mirror. If the infant has an awareness of the self, she/he will touch her own
cheek after looking at the red spot on the face in the mirror. If the infant does not have
self-awareness, she/he will touch the reflection in the mirror, or just play with the reflection
in the mirror as if it is another infant.
Human Ecology and Family Sciences – Part I
jk/k eSa [kkuk [kkrh gw¡] eSa xktj Hkh [kkrh gw¡] jksVh Hkh [kkrh gw¡A eSa cSV&ckWy [ksyrh
gw¡A rhu fnu ckn esjk tUefnu gksxk D;ksafd tuojh esa esjk tUefnu gSA eSa ykbu
eas [kM+h gksrh g¡w A eSa eEeh osQ lkFk i<+rh g¡w A
Radha I eat food, I eat carrots as well, I eat chappati also. I play with bat
and ball. After three days is my birthday because my birthday is
in January; I stand in a line; I study with my mother.
o;Ld vxj dksbZ rqels iwNs fd jk/k oSQlh cPph gS] rks rqe D;k dgksxh\
Adult If someone asks you ‘What is Radha like’, what would you say?
jk/k eSa vPNh gw¡ D;ksafd eSa fy[krh Hkh gw¡A (o;Ld us vkSj crkus dks dgk ij cPph
us dqN ugh dgk)
Radha I am good because I write as well. (The adult asked her to explain
more but she did not respond). 13
o;Ld rqEgkjs eEeh&ikik dks rqEgkjs ckjs esa D;k vPNk yxrk gS\
Adult What do your mummy-papa like about you?
jk/k eSa vPNh&vPNh ckrsa djrh gw¡ vkSj vPNh&vPNh dgkuh lqukrh gw¡A
Radha I talk about nice things – I tell good stories.
jk/k esjs xqykch twrs vPNs yxrs gSa] csch vPNk yxrk gS] viuh lgsfy;k¡ vPNh
yxrh gSa---
Radha I like my pink shoes, I like baby, I like my friends…
jk/k eq>s le> ugha vk jgk--- eq>s vius ckjs esa dqN ughsa irk---A
Radha I don’t understand… I don’t know anything about myself...
Human Ecology and Family Sciences – Part I
the newly emerging selves during adolescence. Thus, the adolescents may
experience what is known as role confusion or identity confusion. They
may show behaviours like the inability to concentrate on the work at hand,
difficulty in starting or finishing work on time, and a general difficulty in
coping with schedules. It is important to stress that the difficulties that
the adolescent experiences in the process of developing an identity are a
normal part of development – there is nothing inappropriate with the
contradictory feelings and emotions the adolescent experiences during
this period. The feeling of identity crisis or role confusion arises when
the adolescent feels that there is a significant gap in terms of what she/
he is expected to do and how she/he is expected to behave as compared
to earlier times. However, for many adolescents, especially those who are
involved in family occupations, this sense of break may not be distinct
and may not cause much emotional upheaval. For example, if a child in a
village is assisting the family in agriculture, her/his role does not change
much from when she/he was 12 to when she/he is 16, except may be in
terms of being given more responsibility.
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Review Questions
C. Influences on
Identity
How do we Develop 2
a Sense of Self?
You have read that we are not born with a sense of selfhood or identity.
How does it develop then? How does it evolve and change over time? The
self develops as a result of what you learn about yourself through the
experiences you have and through what others tell you about yourself.
Each person lives in a web of relationships – these relationships are in
the family, school, workplace and community. The sense of self develops
as a result of interaction with the people around you and through your
18 actions. Thus multiple people shape the development of your self and
the construction of the self is a continuous dynamic process. The word
‘construction’ implies that the self is not something that you are born with
but which you create and develop as you grow.
Activity 1
Recall any significant experience you have had. Did it influence the way you think about
yourself? Note your observations in the space below.
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Let us trace how the sense of self develops from the early years. From
the earliest days, parents address the children by a particular name or
names in a variety of situations. The children begin to associate the name
with themselves. Along with this they also point to the child in the mirror
Understanding the Self
and in photographs with that name. They use the pronouns ‘you’ and
‘your’ and when they are able to speak, the use of the pronouns ‘me’ and
‘mine’ appears. The child understands that ‘you’ and ‘your’ refer to another
person. Parents play various ‘body games’ pointing and labeling various
parts of the child’s body and ask the child to point out body parts in turn.
All this helps the child to gradually learn to see herself/himself as distinct
and separate from others.
Second, as the child grows during infancy she begins to realise that her
actions have an effect on the environment. For example, when she touches
a toy it moves. All such experiences help her/him have a sense of being
separate from other people and objects around her. If you recall the earlier
discussion, this is also the time (around 18 months) when the child is able
to identify that the spot of red is on her/his face and she/he does not treat
the reflection in the mirror as another child.
Third, as the child grows older and can talk, the parents encourage the
child to provide self–statements and ask her/him to give reasons. They ask
the child, “Why did you do this?” or “How do you feel?” These questions
help the child understand what she or he is experiencing or the reasons
for certain actions; in this way they help the child in defining the self.
Fourth, during the course of the day the child has several encounters
with people and objects around her/him which help to develop an idea about 19
abilities. People also give the child a feedback about her or his behaviour
and abilities. To a 6-year-old who helps in cleaning up the food area after
the meal, the father may say, “That was a good thing to do. You are a good
boy.” All this feeds into the child’s beliefs about herself/himself. The child
thus constructs and re-constructs selfhood and sense of identity through
the verbal-social interactions she/he has with caregivers and others.
primarily in one or the other roles that they play – son/ daughter, mother/
father, sister/brother. To put it differently, they often speak of themselves
in terms of the family and the community – as “we” – rather than as “I”.
For example, while talking about her views on marriage, an adolescent
girl would say, “In our family marriages are arranged by parents”, rather
than saying, “I would prefer my parents to arrange my marriage”. Thus we
can see how important the socio-cultural context is in the construction of
a sense of self. Of course the impact of these cultural influences will vary
from family to family and person to person.
Having discussed how the culture and society impact adolescent identity
development, let us read how the family can impact the development of
the sense of identity. During adolescence identity formation is enhanced
by family relationships where adolescents are encouraged to have their
own point of view and where there is a secure relationship between
family members which provides the adolescent with a secure base from
which to explore her widening social world. It has also been found that
firm and affectionate parenting fosters healthy development of identity.
‘Affectionate’ parenting means that the parents are warm, loving and
supportive of the child’s effort and accomplishment. They often praise the
child, show enthusiasm in her/his activities, respond sensitively to her/
22 his feelings, and understand the child’s personality and points of view.
However, such parents are also firm in disciplining. Such parenting style
fosters independence and self-reliance in children.
Adolescence is the period in which the growing individual develops a
strong need for support and acceptance from the peers. At times, parental
and peer values can be in conflict with each other and the adolescent may
tend to lean more towards friends. This can cause disharmony in parent-
child relationships. Conforming to peer pressure can be both positive and
negative. The negative effects become evident when adolescents indulge
in harmful behaviours such as smoking or consuming, drugs or alcohol or
bullying. However, often peers and parents serve complementary functions
and fulfil different needs of the adolescents. It has been seen that a family
atmosphere that promotes both individuality and connectedness is
important for the identity development of the adolescent. By ‘Individuality’
implies greater opportunity and the ability to have one’s own point of view.
‘Connectedness’ suggests greater sensitivity to and respect for others’
views and openness to others’ views.
others are noticing each and every aspect of their body and behaviour.
A young person with pimples on the face may feel that everyone is first
and foremost noticing that. However, there are individual differences
in the way adolescents react to the bodily changes. A boy who does
not have adequate growth of facial hair as compared to all the other
boys of his age may feel peculiar about it. However, this same lack of
facial hair may not disturb another boy. A sense of pride or comfort
with the way one is developing physically will contribute positively to
the adolescents’ sense of self. On the other hand, if the adolescent
is dissatisfied with one’s appearance beyond a point, it can prevent
from concentrating on other aspects of her/his personality, work or
studies. This can cause a dip in performance at school and a lowering
of self-image or self-esteem. A negative self-image can cause a person
to feel insecure and also generate negative feelings about the body.
An adolescent with a physical disability may not experience herself/
himself as any less than others, whereas a well-built adolescent boy
may feel conscious and inadequate because he feels that his body is
not “good enough”.
The adolescent also experiences mood swings – for example, desiring
the company of family members and friends at one time and wanting to be
alone at other times. There may also be sharp bursts of anger. A lot of this
happens as the adolescent is trying to make sense of and understand the 23
variety of changes she/he is experiencing at different levels.
adolescent can think of the possible careers that she/he can take up as
an adult which are suited to her/his situation and temperament, and plan
the current direction of her/his studies accordingly.
Thus, adolescence is a crucial stage for the development of identity.
In fact, adolescence is a significant period of development involving many
changes and opportunities. If the adolescent is healthy, she/he is able to
deal with the changes in the best possible manner and realise one’s full
potential. Appropriate food and nutrition are the key elements of good
health. The next chapter discusses food, nutrition, health and fitness
concerns during adolescence.
Key Terms
Review Questions
Practical 1
Now form yourself into groups of 10 students each and pool all your individual
data together.
1. Note what the range is for each of the above measurements of the body
in your group. For example, weight in your group ranges from ……kgs to
…..kgs.
2. Note the range for age of menarche and the range during which growth of
beard and change in voice takes place.
3. Correlate the size of ready-made garments you purchase with your
measurement.
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Understanding the Self
Practical 2
Influences on Identity