Writing in business

Planning business messages

Basics of Business Writing
• Purposeful. You will be writing to solve problems and convey information.
You will have a definite purpose to fulfill in each message.
• Persuasive. You want your audience to believe and accept your message.
• Economical. You will try to present ideas clearly but concisely. Length is not
rewarded.
• Audience oriented. You will concentrate on looking at a problem from the
perspective of the audience instead of seeing it from your own.
Writing process
Prewriting

1. Analyzing the purpose and the audience

• Identify your purpose
• Selecting the best channel
2. Anticipating the audience
3. Adapting to the tasks and the audience
1. Choosing channels
• Importance of the message
• Amount and speed of feedback and interactivity required
• Necessity of a permanent record
• Cost of the channel
• Degree of formality desired
• Confidentiality and sensitivity of the message
Selecting Communication Channels: Suggest the best communication channels for the
following messages. Assume that all channels are available. Be prepared to explain your
choices.
1. You want to know what team members are available immediately for a quick
teleconference meeting. They are all workaholics and stuck to their computers.
2. As a manager during a company reorganization, you must tell nine workers that their
employment is being terminated.
3. You need to know whether Thomas in Reprographics can produce a rush job for you in
two days.
4. A prospective client in Italy wants price quotes for a number of your products—
pronto!
5. As assistant to the vice president, you are to investigate the possibility of developing
internship programs with several nearby colleges and universities.
6. You must respond to a notice from the Internal Revenue Service insisting that you did
not pay the correct amount for last quarter’s employer’s taxes.
2. Anticipating the audience
3. Adapting to the tasks and the audience

• Audience benefits
• “you” view
• Conversational but Professional
• Positive Language
• Courteous Language
• Inclusive Language
• Plain English
• Familiar Words
Audience benefits
Sender focus Audience focus
1. The Human Resources Department requires 1. By filling out the enclosed questionnaires,
that the enclosed questionnaire be you can be one of the first employees to
completed immediately so that we can sign up for our training resource funds.
allocate our training resource funds to
employees.
2. Your warranty begins working for you as
2. Our warranty becomes effective only when
soon as you return your owner’s
we receive an owner’s registration.
registration.
3. We are proud to announce our new
3. Now you can be sure that all your
software virus checker that we think is the
computers will be protected with our real-
best on the market!
time virus scanning.
“You” view

“I / We” View “You” View

1. I’m asking all employees to respond 1. Because your ideas count, please
to the attached survey about working complete the attached survey about
conditions. working conditions.
2. I have granted you permission to 2. You may attend the seminar to
attend the communication seminar. improve your communication skills.
3. We have shipped your order by UPS, 3. Your order will be delivered by UPS
and we are sure it will arrive in time in time for your sales promotion
for your sales promotion December 1. December 1.
Audience Benefits and the “You” View: Revise the following sentences to emphasize the
perspective of the audience and the “you” view.
1. We regret to announce that the bookstore will distribute free iPods only to students in
classes in which the instructor has requested these devices as learning tools.
2. Our safety policy forbids us from renting power equipment to anyone who cannot
demonstrate proficiency in its use.
3. To prevent us from possibly losing large sums of money in stolen identity schemes, our
bank now requires verification of any large check presented for immediate payment.
4. So that we may bring our customer records up-to-date and eliminate the expense of
duplicate mailings, we are asking you to complete and return the enclosed card.
5. For just $219 per person, we have arranged a four-day, three-night getaway package to
Orlando that includes hotel accommodations, theme park tickets, and complimentary
breakfasts.
6. We find it necessary to request that all employees complete the enclosed
questionnaire so that we may develop a master schedule for summer vacations.
7. To enable us to continue our policy of selling name brands at discount prices, we can
give store credit but we cannot give cash refunds on returned merchandise
Conventional but Professional
Unprofessional Professional
1. Hey, boss, Gr8 news! Firewall now 1. Mr. Smith, our new firewall software
installed!! BTW, check with me b4 is now installed. Please check with
announcing it. me before announcing it.

2. Look, dude, this report is totally 2. Because the figures in this report
bogus. And the figures don’t look seem inaccurate, please submit the
kosher. Show me some real stats. source statistics.
Got sources?
Conventional but Professional
Overly Formal Conversational
1. All employees are herewith 1. Please return your contracts to me.
instructed to return the
appropriately designated contracts
to the undersigned.

2. Pertaining to your order, we must 2. We will send your order as soon as

verify the sizes that your we confirm the sizes you need.
organization requires prior to
consignment of your order to our
shipper.
Conversational, Professional Tone: Revise the following sentences to make the
tone conversational yet professional.

1. Per your recent e-mail, the undersigned takes pride in informing you that we
are pleased to be able to participate in the Toys for Tots drive.
2. Pursuant to your message of the 15th, please be advised that your shipment
was sent August 14.
3. Yo, Jeff! Look, dude, I need you to pound on Ramona so we can drop this
budget thingy in her lap.
4. BTW, Danika was totally ticked off when the manager accused her of ripping
off office supplies. She may split.
5. He didn’t have the guts to badmouth her 2 her face.
6. The undersigned respectfully reminds affected individuals that employees
desirous of changing their health plans must do so before November 1.
Positive language
Negative Positive
1. You failed to include your credit card 1. We look forward to completing
number, so we can’t mail your order. your order as soon as we receive
your credit card number.
2. Your letter of May 2 claims that you 2. Your May 2 letter describes a headset
returned a defective headset. you returned.

3. You cannot park in Lot H until 3. You may park in Lot H starting April 1.
April 1.
4. You will be happy that . .
4. You won’t be sorry that . . .
Courteous language
Less Courteous More Courteous and Helpful
1. You must complete the report before Friday. 1. Will you please complete the report by
Friday.
2. You should organize a car pool in this 2. Organizing a car pool will reduce your
department. This is the second time I’ve transportation costs and help preserve the
written. environment. Please credit my account for
$450.
3. Can’t you get anything right? 3. My latest statement shows that the error
noted in my letter of April 2 has not been
corrected.
4. Am I the only one who can read the operating 4. Let’s review the operating manual together
manual? so that you can get your documents to print
correctly next time.
Positive and Courteous Language: Revise the following statements to make them more positive
and courteous.

1. Employees are not allowed to use instant messaging until a company policy is established.
2. We must withhold authorizing payment of your consultant’s fees because our CPA claims that
your work is incomplete.
3. Plans for the new health center cannot move forward without full community support.
4. This is the last time I’m writing to try to get you to record my October 3 payment of $359.50
to my account! Anyone who can read can see from the attached documents that I’ve tried to
explain this to you before.
5. Although you apparently failed to read the operator’s manual, we are sending you a
replacement blade for your food processor. Next time read page 18 carefully so that you will
know how to attach this blade.
6. Everyone in this department must begin using new passwords as of midnight June 15. Because
of flagrant password misuse, we find it necessary to impose this new rule so that we can
protect your personal information and company records.
Inclusive language
• Sexist/Noninclusive Every attorney has ten minutes for his
summation.
Alternative 1 All attorneys have ten minutes for their summations.
(Use a plural noun and plural pronoun.)
Alternative 2 Attorneys have ten minutes for summations. (Omit the
pronoun entirely.)
Alternative 3 Every attorney has ten minutes for a summation. (Use
an article instead of a pronoun.)
Alternative 4 Every attorney has ten minutes for his or her
summation. (Use both a masculine and a feminine pronoun.)
Inclusive language
Inclusive Language: Revise the following sentences to eliminate terms that are
considered sexist or that suggest stereotypes.

1. Every employee must wear his photo ID on the job.

2. Media Moguls hired Sheena Love, an African American, for the position of
project manager.
3. A skilled assistant proofreads her boss’s documents and catches any errors he
makes.
4. The conference will include special excursions for the wives of executives.
5. Serving on the panel are a lady veterinarian, a female doctor, two businessmen,
and an Indian CPA.
Plain English
Plain English and Familiar Words: Revise the following sentences to use plain
expression and more familiar words.

1. The salary we are offering is commensurate with remuneration for other

managers.
2. To expedite ratification of this agreement, we urge you to vote in the
affirmative.
3. In a dialogue with the manager, I learned that you plan to terminate our contract.
4. Did the braking problem materialize subsequent to our recall effort?
5. Pursuant to your invitation, we will interrogate our agent.
Writing in business
Composing effective messages
Outline
Direct/Indirect Pattern
Direct pattern Indirect Pattern
Opening To improve the scheduling of For the past several years, we have had a continuing
(example) absences, a new paid time-off program problem scheduling vacations, personal days, and
will begin January 1. The procedures sick time. Our Human Resources people struggle
and benefits are as follows. with unscheduled absences. After considerable
investigation, the Management Council has decided
to try a centralized paid time-off program starting
January 1. This memo will describe its benefits and
procedures.
Advantages • Saves the reader’s time • Respects the feelings of the audience
• Sets a proper frame of mind. • Encourages a fair hearing.
• Prevents frustration. • Minimizes a negative reaction
1. Composing effective sentence
• Sentence types
• Sentence length
• Common sentence faults
Sentence types
• A simple sentence
Our team completed the project.
• A compound sentence
The team project was challenging, and we were happy with the results.
The team project was challenging; we were happy with the results.
The team project was challenging; however, we were happy with the results.
• A complex sentence
When we finished the team project, we held a team party.
• A compound-complex sentence
Although this team project is completed, soon we will begin work on another;
however, it will be less challenging.
For each of the numbered sentences, select the letter that identifies its type:
a. Simple b. Compound c. Complex d. Compound-complex

1. Many companies are now doing business in international circles.

2. If you travel abroad on business, you may bring gifts for business partners.
3. In Latin America a knife is not a proper gift; it signifies cutting off a
relationship.
4. When Arabs, Middle Easterners, and Latin Americans talk, they stand close to
each other.
5. Unless they are old friends, Europeans do not address each other by first names;
consequently, businesspeople should not expect to do so.
6. In the Philippines men wear a long embroidered shirt called a barong, and
women wear a dress called a terno.
Sentence length
Sentences faults Revision
Fragment Revision
Because most transactions require a permanent Because most transactions require a permanent
record. Good writing skills are critical. record, good writing skills are critical.
The recruiter requested a writing sample. Even though The recruiter requested a writing sample even though
the candidate seemed to communicate well. the candidate seemed to communicate well.

Run-On Revision
Most job seekers present a printed résumé some are Most job seekers present a printed résumé. Some are
also using Websites as electronic portfolios also using Websites as electronic portfolios.
One candidate sent an e-mail résumé another sent a One candidate sent an e-mail résumé; another sent a
traditional résumé. traditional résumé.

Comma Splice Possible Revisions

Some employees responded by e-mail, others picked Some employees responded by e-mail, and others
up the telephone. picked up the telephone.
Some employees responded by e-mail; however,
others picked up the telephone.
Some employees responded by e-mail; others picked
up the telephone.
In the following, identify the sentence fault (fragment, run-on, comma splice). Then
revise to remedy the fault.
1. Because 90 percent of all business transactions involve written messages. Good
writing skills are critical.
2. The recruiter requested a writing sample. Even though the candidate seemed to
communicate well orally.
3. Major soft-drink companies considered a new pricing strategy, they tested
vending machines that raise prices in hot weather.
4. Thirsty consumers may think that variable pricing is unfair they may also refuse
to use the machine.
5. About half of Pizza Hut’s 7,600 outlets make deliveries, the others concentrate
on walk-in customers.
6. McDonald’s sold its chain of Chipotle Mexican Grill restaurants the chain’s
share price doubled on the next day of trading
2. Improving writing techniques
• Developing emphasis
• Using active and passive voice
• Achieving parallelism
• Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Developing emphasis through styles
Use vivid words
General Vivid
1. One business uses personal selling techniques 1. Avon uses face-to-face selling techniques.
2. Someone will contact you as soon as possible 2. Ms. Stevens will telephone you before 5 P.M.
tomorrow, May 3
Label the main ideas
Unlabeled Labeled
1. Consider looking for a job online, but also focus on 1. Consider looking for a job online; but, most
networking. important, focus on networking.
2. We shop here because of the customer service and 2. We like the customer service, but the primary
low prices. reason for shopping here is low prices
Developing emphasis through styles
Place the important idea first or last in the sentence
Unemphatic Emphatic
Profit-sharing plans are more effective in increasing Productivity is more likely to be increased when profit-
productivity when they are linked to individual sharing plans are linked to individual performance
performance rather than to group performance. rather than to group performance.
Profit-sharing plans linked to individual performance
rather than to group performance are more effective in
increasing productivity.
Place the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause
Unemphatic Emphatic
Although you are the first trainee we have hired for this You are the first trainee we have hired for this program.
program, we had many candidates and expect to (Simple sentence)
expand the program in the future. (Main idea is lost in Although we considered many candidates, you are the
a dependent clause.) first trainee we have hired for this program.
(Independent clause contains main idea.)
1. Which is more emphatic?
a. Our dress code is good.
b. Our dress code reflects common sense and good taste.
2. Which is more emphatic?
a. A budget increase would certainly improve hiring.
b. A budget increase of $70,000 would enable us to hire two new people.
3. Which is more emphatic?
a. The committee was powerless to act.
b. The committee was unable to take action.
4. Which de-emphasizes the refusal?
a. Although our resources are committed to other projects this year, we hope to be able to contribute to your worthy cause next year.
b. We can’t contribute to your charity this year.
5. Which sentence places more emphasis on the date?
a. The deadline is November 30 for health benefit changes.
b. November 30 is the deadline for health benefit changes.
6. Which is less emphatic?
a. One division’s profits decreased last quarter.
b. Profits in beauty care products dropped 15 percent last quarter.
7. Which sentence de-emphasizes the credit refusal?
a. We are unable to grant you credit at this time, but we welcome your cash business and encourage you to reapply in the future.
b. Although credit cannot be granted at this time, we welcome your cash business and encourage you to reapply in the future.
8. Which sentence gives more emphasis to leadership?
a. Jason has many admirable qualities, but most important is his leadership skill.
b. Jason has many admirable qualities, including leadership skill, good judgment, and patience.
De-emphasizing When Necessary

Use general words

De-emphasizes Harsh Statement Emphasizes Harsh Statement

Our records indicate that your employment status Our records indicate that you were recently fired.
has recently changed.

Place the bad news in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause with something positive
De-emphasizes Bad News Emphasizes Bad News
Although credit cannot be issued at this time, you We cannot issue you credit at this time, but we have
can fill your immediate needs on a cash basis with a special plan that will allow you to fill your
our special plan. immediate needs on a cash basis
Using active and passive voice
Using active and passive voice
Achieving parallelism
Lack parallelism Improved
1. The policy affected all vendors, suppliers, and those 1. The policy affected all vendors, suppliers, and
involved with consulting. consultants. (Matches nouns)
2. Our primary goals are to increase productivity, reduce 2. Our primary goals are to increase productivity, reduce
costs, and the improvement of product quality. costs, and improve product quality. (Matches verbs)
3. We are scheduled to meet in Dallas on January 5, we 3. We are scheduled to meet in Dallas on January 5, in
are meeting in Montreal on the 15th of March, and Montreal on March 15, and in Chicago on June 3.
in Chicago on June 3. (Matches phrases)
4. Shelby audits all accounts lettered A through L; 4. Shelby audits all accounts lettered A through L;
accounts lettered M through Z are audited by Andrew. Andrew audits accounts lettered M through Z.
(Matches clauses)
5. Our Super Bowl ads have three objectives: 5. Our Super Bowl ads have three objectives:
1. We want to increase product use. 1. Increase product use
2. Introduce complementary products. 2. Introduce complementary products
3. Our corporate image will be enhanced 3. Enhance our corporate image (Matches verbs in
listed items)
Parallelism: Revise the following sentences so that their parts are balanced.

1. To be hired, an applicant must be reliable, creative, and show enthusiasm.

2. If you have decided to cancel our service, please cut your credit card in half and the
pieces should be returned to us.
3. Guidelines for improving security at food facilities include inspecting incoming and
outgoing vehicles, restriction of access to laboratories, preventing workers from
bringing personal items into food-handling areas, and inspection of packaging for signs
of tampering.
4. The committee will continue to monitor merchandise design, product quality, and
check the feedback of customers.
5. To use the fax copier, insert your meter, the paper trays must be loaded, indicate the
number of copies needed, and your original sheet should be inserted through the
feeder.
6. Sending an e-mail establishes a more permanent record than to make a telephone call.
Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Dangling or Misplaced Modifier Revision
1. Skilled at graphic design, the contract went to 1. Skilled at graphic design, DesignOne won the
DesignOne. contract.
2. Working together as a team, the project was 2. Working together as a team, we finally
finally completed. completed the project.
3. To meet the deadline, your Excel figures must be 3. To meet the deadline, you must send us your
received by May 1. Excel figures by May 1.
4. The recruiter interviewed candidates who had 4. In the morning the recruiter interviewed
excellent computer skills in the morning. candidates with excellent computer skills.
5. As an important customer to us, we invite you to 5. As you are an important customer to us, we
our spring open house. invite you to our spring open house. OR: As an
important customer to us, you are invited to our
spring open house.
Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers: Revise the following to avoid dangling
and misplaced modifiers.

1. After leaving the midtown meeting, Angela’s car would not start.
2. Walking up the driveway, the Hummer parked in the garage was
immediately spotted by the detectives.
3. To complete the project on time, a new deadline was established by the
team.
4. Acting as manager, several new employees were hired by Mr. Lopez.
5. Michelle Mitchell presented a talk about workplace drug problems in our
boardroom
3. Drafting powerful paragraph

• Crafting topic sentence

• Developing support sentence
• Building paragraph coherence
• Controlling paragraph length: 8 or fewer printed lines
Crafting topic sentence
• A topic sentence states the main idea of the paragraph. Business
writers generally place the topic sentence first in the paragraph. It
tells readers what to expect and helps them understand the
paragraph’s central thought immediately
Developing support sentence
• Support sentences illustrate, explain, or strengthen the topic
sentence. One of the hardest things for beginning writers to
remember is that all support sentences in the paragraph must relate
to the topic sentence. Any other topics should be treated separately.
Support sentences provide specific details, explanations, and
evidence.
Organizing Paragraph Sentences
In a memo to the college president, the athletic director argues for a new stadium
scoreboard. One paragraph will describe the old scoreboard and why it needs to be
replaced. Study the following list of ideas for that paragraph.

1. The old scoreboard is a tired warhorse that was originally constructed in the 1970s.
2. It is now hard to find replacement parts when something breaks.
3. The old scoreboard is not energy efficient.
4. Coca-Cola has offered to buy a new sports scoreboard in return for exclusive rights to sell
soda pop on campus.
5. The old scoreboard should be replaced for many reasons.
6. It shows only scores for football games.
7. When we have soccer games or track meets, we are without any functioning scoreboard.

a. Which sentence should be the topic sentence?

b. Which sentence(s) should be developed in a separate paragraph?
c. Which sentences should become support sentences?
Building paragraph coherence
• Repeat a key idea by using the same expression or a similar one:
Employees treat guests as VIPs. These VIPs are never told what they
can or cannot do.
• Use pronouns to refer to previous nouns: All new employees receive
a two week orientation. They learn that every staffer has a vital role.
• Show connections with transitional expressions: however, as a
result, consequently, and meanwhile. For a complete list, see Figure
3.5.
Building Coherent Paragraphs: Use the information from the preceding
sentences to write a coherent paragraph about replacing the
photocopier. Strive to use three devices to build coherence: (a)
repetition of key words, (b)pronouns that clearly refer to previous
nouns, and (c) transitional expressions.
More practice

Revise the following paragraph. Add a topic sentence and improve the organization.
Correct problems with pronouns, parallelism, wordiness, and misplaced or dangling
modifiers. Add transitional expressions if appropriate.

You may be interested in applying for a new position within the company. The
Human Resources Department has a number of jobs available immediately. The
positions are at a high level. Current employees may apply immediately for open
positions in production, for some in marketing, and jobs in administrative support
are also available. To make application, these positions require immediate
action. Come to the Human Resources Department. We have a list showing the
open positions, what the qualifications are, and job descriptions are shown. Many
of the jobs are now open. That’s why we are sending this now. To be hired, an
interview must be scheduled within the next two weeks.
More practice
Revise the following paragraph. Add a topic sentence and improve the organization.
Correct problems with pronouns, parallelism, wordiness, and misplaced or dangling
modifiers.

As you probably already know, this company (Lasertronics) will be installing new computer
software shortly. There will be a demonstration April 18, which is a Tuesday. You are invited.
We felt this was necessary because this new software is so different from our previous
software. It will be from 9 to 12 a.m. in the morning. This will show employees how the
software programs work. They will learn about the operating system, and this should be
helpful to nearly everyone. There will be information about the new word processing
program, which should be helpful to administrative assistants and product managers. For
all you people who work with payroll, there will be information about the new database
program. We can’t show everything the software will do at this one demo, but for these
three areas there will be some help at the Tuesday demo. Presenting the software, the
demo will feature Paula Roddy. She is the representative from Quantum Software
Writing in business
Revising business messages
Revising
1. Revising for conciseness
2. Revising for clarity
3. Revising for Vigor and Directness
1.1. Eliminating flappy expressions
Flabby Expressions: Revise the following sentences to eliminate flabby
phrases.

1. Despite the fact that we lost the contract, we must at this time move
forward.
2. inasmuch as prices are falling, we will invest in the very near future.
3. We cannot fill the order until such time as payment is received for
previous shipments.
4. Due to the fact that our manager is acquainted with your sales rep, we
are fully cognizant of your price increases.
5. as a general rule, we would not accept the return; however, we will in all
probability make an exception in this case.
1.2. Limiting long lead-ins
Wordy Concise
1. This e-mail message is being sent to all 1. New parking permits will be issued
of you to let you know that new parking January 1.
permits will be issued January 1.
2. You will be interested to learn that 2. You can now be served at our Web
you can now be served at our Web site.
site.
3. I am writing this letter because 3. Dr. Mara Evans suggested that your
Dr. Mara Evans suggested that your organization was hiring trainees.
organization was hiring trainees.
Long Lead-Ins: Revise the following to eliminate long lead-ins.

1. This message is to let you know that i received your e-mail and its
attachments.
2. This memo is to notify everyone that we will observe Monday as a
holiday.
3. I am writing this letter to inform you that your homeowners’ coverage
expires soon.
4. This is to warn everyone that the loss of laptops endangers company
security
1.3. Dropping unnecessary There is/are and It is/was Fillers

Wordy Concise
1. There is only one candidate who 1. Only one candidate passed the test.
passed the test.
2. There is an unused computer in the 2. An unused computer is in the back
back office. office.
3. It was our auditor who discovered 3. Our auditor discovered the theft.
the theft.
There is/It is Fillers: Revise the following to avoid unnecessary there
is/it is fillers.
1. There are many businesses that are implementing strict e-mail
policies.
2. It is the CEO who must give her approval to the plan.
3. There are several Web pages you must update.
4. The manager says that there are too many employees who are
taking long breaks.
1.4. Getting rid of redundancies
Redundancies: Revise the following to avoid redundancies.

1. Because the proposals are exactly identical, we need not check

each and every item.
2. We will let you know the dollar amount of the remodeling charges.
3. The office walls were painted beige in color.
4. Our supervisor requested that all team members return back to the
office.
2.1. Dumping Trite Business phrases
Trite Business Phrases: Revise the following sentences to eliminate
trite business phrases.

1. As per your request, we will no longer send e-mail offers.

2. Thank you in advance for considering our plea for community
support.
3. Pursuant to your request, we are sending the original copies under
separate cover.
4. Enclosed please find a check in the amount of $700.
2.2. Avoiding Jargon and slang
• Jargon is special terminology that is peculiar to particular activities or
professions.
• Slang is composed of informal words with arbitrary and extravagantly
changed meaning.
2.3. Dropping clichés
Jargon, Slang, Clichés: Revise the following sentences to avoid confusing jargon,
slang, clichés, and wordiness.

1. Although our last presentation bombed, we think that beyond the shadow of a
doubt our new presentation will fly.
2. Our team must be willing to think outside the box in coming up with marketing
ideas that pop.
3. True to form, our competitor has made a snarky claim that we think is way
below the belt.
4. If you will refer back to the budget, you will see that there are provisions that
prevent blowing the
budget.
3.1. Unburying Verbs
Using these noun expressions increases sentence length, drains verb strength, slows
the reader, and muddies the thought.
Buried Verbs: Revise the following to unbury the verbs.

1. Ms. Nelson gave an appraisal of the home’s value.

2. The board of directors will give consideration to the contract at its next
meeting.
3. Web-based customer service causes reduction in overall costs.
4. In preparing this proposal, we must make an application of new government
regulations.
5. Management made a recommendation affirming abandonment of the pilot
project.
6. The insurance investigator made a determination of the fire damages.
3.2. Controlling exuberance
3.3. Choosing clear, precise words
Precise, Direct Words: Revise the following sentences to improve clarity and
precision. use your imagination to add appropriate words.
Example They said it was a long way off.
Revision Management officials announced that the merger would not take
place for two years.
1. Soon we will be in our new location.
2. An employee from that company notified us about the change in date.
3. Please contact us soon.
4. They said that the movie they saw was good.
5. The report was weak