Example Candidate Responses

Paper 2 Drama
Cambridge IGCSE™
Literature in English 0475
The main aim of this booklet is to exemplify standards for those teaching Cambridge IGCSE Literature in English 0475, and to show how high level
candidates performance relates to the subject’s assessment objectives.
In this booklet candidate responses are derived from the real scripts of candidates from the June 2017 series of Cambridge IGCSE Literature
(English) 0486, which runs in parallel with Cambridge IGCSE Literature in English 0475.
For each question, the response is annotated with numbers, which correspond to the examiner comments.
This document provides illustrative examples of candidate work. These help teachers to assess the standard required to achieve marks, beyond the
guidance of the mark scheme. Click on the ‘Mark Scheme button to view the appropriate mark scheme for the question paper.
The full question papers and mark schemes used in this resource are Paper 22 from the June 2017 exam series for Cambridge IGCSE Literature
(English) 0486 and can be downloaded in full from Teacher Support: https://cambridgeinternational.org/support
The relevant files are: June 2017 Question Paper 22
June 2017 Paper 22 Mark Scheme

Contents
Question 3: Arthur Miller: A View from the Bridge
Question 4: Arthur Miller: A View from the Bridge
Question 4: Arthur Miller: A View from the Bridge
Question 5: J B Priestley: An Inspector Calls
Question 6: J B Priestley: An Inspector Calls
Question 9: William Shakespeare: The Merchant of Venice
Question 3
3. Read this passage carefully, and then answer the question that
follows it:
Passage from A View from the Bridge by Arthur Miller
In what ways does Miller make this such an emotionally intense
EXAMINER COMMENTS
moment in the play?

1 The candidate shows understanding of Miller’s methods/Alfieri’s

Miller makes this extract emotionally intense due to the use of role.
dialogue. Building up to a climactic point Miller uses the lawyer as his
2 Introduction gives a focused overview.
mouth piece, 1 Alfieri to put across the truth of Eddie’s insesant
love for Catherine (his neice by marriage). Miller uses tension to build
3 The candidate shows relevant contextual knowledge and
to a climax as well as stage directions to emphasise the intensity of
understanding.
the extract. 2
4 The candidate shows understanding of deeper implications and
Eddie seeks Alfieri’s help as he believes that Rodolfo (Catherine’s love relates this to the ‘emotional intensity’ of the moment.
interest) is only seeing her in order to become an American citizen.
5 The candidate recognises that suspense is created but could have
3 This centres on one of A View From the Bridge’s main themes of
linked the stage directions to how the lines would be delivered – its
justice and law. However the audience believes its driven by Eddie’s effect on the stage rather than on the page.
jealousy of Rodolfo because of his hopeless love for Catherine.
6 The candidate shows knowledge of the text and understanding of its
significance.
At the beginning of the extract Miller creates an emotionally intense
moment by using Alfieri to suggest to Eddie the truth 4 behind
Eddie seeing him that day and by subtly moving to a more climactic
emotional point using stage directions. By using a “pause” and a “…”
builds suspense 5 which makes the extract more intense and the
emotion that is revealed more sudden. Alfieri who is moral, obeys the
law and speaks the truth says to Eddie “too much love for the niece”
which is the first open suggestion 6 of the extract that portrays
Eddie’s love for Catherine as “too much” and of a different more

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insesant 7 nature. Miller, in Alfieri’s dialogue uses short sentences
such as “let her go. Thats my advice” In order to highlight the truth
EXAMINER COMMENTS
of the matter. 8 This also provokes sympathy for the protagonist
tragic hero, Eddie as although he insults Rodolfo by calling him a
‘punk’ he can not control his lover over Catherine. Eddie also insults 7 ‘insesant’ is taken as ‘incestuous’. Language errors are not marked.
Rodolfo as Eddie does not believe he is manly enough for Catherine
due to him having platinum hair and he fact he likes to sing. 9 8 Shows some appreciation of the impact of the structure and how it
shapes the effect.
“There’s nothing you can do.” is another example that provokes
sympathy 10 for Eddie even though he is morally in the wrong.
9 The candidate shows relevant knowledge of earlier in the play.
This is an emotional 11 line of the play due to its finality from
the morally superior character, Alfieri. The fact that (Eddie stands)
10 The candidate makes an informed personal response to Eddie.
shows the building up of tension and is suspenseful and intense as
it shows Eddie can not react emotionally 12 to the so he reacts 11 This addresses the emotional intensity of the moment.
physically 13 by showing up which emphasises how uneasy he is
about his emotion. 12 Perhaps the candidate means ‘verbally’ rather than ‘emotionally’?

As the extract progresses Miller creates a emotionally intense 13 A very good section that shows clear appreciation of Miller’s
moment in the play by displaying Eddie’s true emotion and how
stagecraft; it also integrates the supporting reference [Eddie stands]
very effectively.
helpless 14 he is via dialogue. The use of stage directions show the
intensity of the extract as well. The stage direction “[With a helpless
14 Sustained focus on question and developing a sensitive response to
but ironic gesture” shows the audience 15 the helplessness of Eddie how Eddie is portrayed.
which conveys how emotional he is getting, and what is building
up inside him. The repetition of ‘punk’ emphasises how frustrated 15 Sustained awareness/appreciation of genre but could have developed
16 Eddie is and also the contrast of using a singular ‘punk’ at the a more detailed response to why Eddie’s gesture is ‘ironic’. The focus
beginning of his speech to using ‘son-of-a-bitch punk’ by the end here is more on explaining than exploring the text.
show the intense build up of emotion. The line Eddie says “I took
16 The candidate shows critical understanding and detailed evaluation of
out of my own mouth to give to her” shows how deeply he cares
Miller’s writing.
for her and perhaps how much he has done for her,despite being
over-protective he has always had her needs in his heart which 17 A sensitive personal response that is supported by well-selected
provokes more sympathy 17 for Eddie and displays his real and reference.
intense emotion for Catherine. Alfieri ‘rises’ showing the climax and

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intensity of the scene as they are both rising and showing thier 18
masculinity. Which is another key theme of the play. Alfieri states
EXAMINER COMMENTS
while Eddie is on a chaotic build up of emotion that “She can’t
marry you, can she?” Which is the climactic line 19 as it is plane
and simple in confirming Eddie’s true emotion. The fact that Eddie 18 Responding to the effect created by the stage directions; understands
replies ‘furiously’ shows that Alfieri had burst the bubble of emotion the implications of his ‘rising’.
through crying, he shows it physically through getting angry, 20
19 The candidate appreciates the significance of this line but could have
this is shown here perfectly through his furiousness.
commented on Eddie’s reluctance/inability to accept it.

At the end of the extract Miller makes it emotionally intense through

20 A clear understanding of Eddie’s character and how it is portrayed.
the foreshadowing 21 of Eddie’s fate by the narrator (Alfieri) and
one final showing of Eddie’s emotional side. Miller highlights Eddie’s
21 The candidate shows knowledge of later events and uses this to
emotions at the end of the extract which build up the intense develop a relevant line of argument.
nature of it. For example Eddie says “Its breakin’ my heart” This
shows Eddie in a different, sensitive and subtle light. The fact “he 22 The candidate shows understanding of the text.
feels the threat of sobs” show how affected 22 he is by Catherine
and shock the audience as this is very unlike Eddie’s character. The 23 This is slightly clumsy/unclear, as well as repeating the earlier point
emphasis of Eddie’s helpless character is large here especially with on foreshadowing.
the stage direction, “With a helpless wave” it shows how emotional
24 This shows clear understanding but it could have made a more
Eddie is unknowingly portrayed as. Alfieri’s final speech of the
sensitive and developed personal response to the ideas of
extract 23 foreshadow Eddie’s helpless and tragic fate 24 which powerlessness and inevitability.
leaves the extract on a extremely emotional ending. “I knew where
he was heading for” and “I knew where he was going to end” hint 25 Slightly too explanatory rather than exploratory here.
the audience of his tragic fate. This is due to the fact that because
Eddie could no longer follow the code of honour of his community,
he would suffer consequences. It also shows that no one could have
stropped Eddie false calling the immigration bureau. So even Alfieri
was “powerless to stop it”. 25

In conclusion, Miller made this extract intensly emotional through

having the two commanding characters face emotional truth about

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Eddie. Its an intense extract because of the stage directions mostly
which emphasise to the audience mostly how tense the extract is
getting. Through highlighting Eddie’s emotions honestly and showing EXAMINER COMMENTS
how he reacts to the truth and also foreshadowing Eddie’s tragic fate
in the play make this extract intensly emotional. 26
26 A convincing personal and critical response that sustains focus on
the question and makes a wide range of well-supported points; critical
understanding of the text is also demonstrated.

It is a strong response but it is inconsistent.

Throughout the response both knowledge and understanding are
consistently demonstrated. The best sections are those that engage fully
with Miller’s writing and demonstrate clear critical understanding. For
example the third paragraph begins well, showing an understanding of the
significance of the moment and there is recognition of how the delivery
of the lines would impact on their meaning. However, it could have made
much more of Eddie’s lack of self-knowledge, his ‘furious’ reaction and
how this increases the emotional intensity of the moment. In a couple of
places, the response tended to explain the meaning of the text or loosely
paraphrase it rather than explore the impact of the writing. For example
the candidate commented on the stage direction ‘with a helpless but
ironic gesture’ stating that it showed Eddie’s helplessness, rather than
exploring why it was ‘helpless’ and ‘ironic’ and why that is so emotional,
effective at creating pity for Eddie.
In the penultimate paragraph, there is clear understanding of Eddie’s
tragic fate and there is some appropriate support from the passage. Again,
however, the response could have gone slightly further and commented
on why Alfieri’s words that he was ‘powerless to stop it’ create such an
emotional impact, linking this to the powerful sense of inevitability.

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Question 4
4. How does Miller powerfully convey to you the rules Eddie’s
community lives by?

EXAMINER COMMENTS

1 A focused and succinct introduction.

In his play ‘A View from the Bridge’, Miller conveys the reality of
Brooklyn, when both the American and Italian communities co-exist.
2 This shows clear critical understanding of the play’s structure and
Miller uses the contrast between both ethnic groups, the characters Miller’s use of language. There is effectively incorporated textual
and Alfieri to emphasise the code of honour which is a recurring support.
motif in his play. 1
3 This conveys both textual knowledge and understanding as well as
understanding of how the humour emphasises Alfieri’s attitude.
At the beginning Alfieri introduces the play with a long soliloqui,
where he stresses the importance of justice in Red Hook. ‘quite
4 Skilful use of well-selected/integrated text.
civilized, quite American’ uses parrallel syntax to show how Eddie’s
community has adopted 2 the American law system and how 5 Sustains critical engagement with the text and focus on the
Alfieri finds the American law more rational. Alfieri uses humour Question.
in ‘it has not been a very friendly idea since the Greeks were
6 Sustained personal and critical engagement exploring the deeper
beaten’ to emphasise how the Italians take justice into their own
meaning of the text.
hands 3 and this will be more clear to the audience as the play
advances. Furthermore, the use of similar words which give a sense
of repetition in ‘justly shot by unjust men’ highlights the lawless 4
behaviour that many immigrant Italians have but also how the only
way to solve a dispute is force and death. 5 Again, Miller uses
irony to convey how the Italians have a stronger sense of morality,
as later in the play, the audience realises how the ‘law’ is not always
‘interested’. 6 Personification at the ‘law’ helps an audience realise
how the Italians at that time were frustrated with the law system
and this foreshadows the tragedy that will unfold. Therefore, Miller
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uses the introducing speech to present his audience the lawless
setting where the story is set and also to be a ‘bridge’ (hence the
title) so that the American audience is able to sympathise with the EXAMINER COMMENTS
characters and their actions. 7
7 An effective personal and critical comment on the play’s structure.
Later in act 1, during a family talk, the audience is given an
insight into Italian justice with Vinny Velsano’s story. 8 Eddie 8 The candidate uses relevant textual reference.
explains how, ‘they spit into him on the streets; his own father
and brothers’. The verb ‘spit’ is very powerful as it is often 9 used 9 An evaluative critical engagement with the text.
to reflect an attitude of hatred and disrespect towards someone.
10 A sustained critical understanding and response to Miller’s use of
Therefore, the audience realises how the community has rejected
dramatic irony.
Vinny and how they will exile him, never allowing him to come
back. This use of dramatic irony is clear to the audience when they
11 Although this misnames the author (accepted as a slip of the pen), the
see the story repeat itself with Eddie, our tragic hero, when he
point is a sensitive and detailed personal evaluation of Miller’s intent.
calls the Immigration Bureau. 10 Miller stresses how betrayal in
Eddie’s community is unforgiveable and that the Italians will punish
12 This is a sustained exploration of the deeper meaning of the ideas of
(physically) those who betrayed it. There is a contrast with American
the play.
rules and law, as they are seen by the Italians as immoral, because
immigrants are forced to return to Italy, losing their job and with
13 An effective development of argument; the writing shows personal
no money to support their families. Therefore, the play is a nexus flair.
between the audience and Priestley’s ideas, that allows him to convey
his message that the law is not always good. 11 In addition, Eddie
states how ‘you can quicker get back a million dollars that was
stole than a word that you gave away’ representing the complexity
in making the italian community forget the betrayal and perhaps,
conveying that the community will ‘steal’ back from you. 12

Marco is the masculine representation of a true italian and his

sense of honour and community show us, the audience: a subjective
representation of Eddie’s community’s rules. 13 When Eddie
mimics a fight with Rodolpho, Marco’s brother, when Rodolpho

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gets punched the stage direction explain how ‘Marco rises’, which
demonstrate italian sense of protection 14 for those in the family
and the community. This also makes an audience sympathize with EXAMINER COMMENTS
Marco, as an audience would also protect their beloved family, so
Miller uses Marco as a way of connecting both American and Italian
14 A clear understanding of impact of how Marco’s actions are used to
communities. 15 At the arrival of the cousins we get an insight into convey the rules of the community. (Many candidates fail to comment
the communities’ formal code when the stage directions describe on the dramatic impact of such actions on the stage, and comment
Marco addressing Eddie ‘with a formal stiffness’, the noun ‘stiffness’ instead on the written stage directions and what they mean.)
make Marco’s appearance look like a soldier as if he was talking to
a general. 16 This image helps an audience understand italian code 15 The candidate shows understanding of Miller’s methods.
for addressing older italians and also how italians are to behave
16 An effective personal and critical comment that evaluates use of
in a solder-strict manner when being taken in shelter by another
language.
community member. Moreover, an audience can see how italians
are ruled by strict ettiquete so this way Miller achieves to break the 17 Shows sensitive engagement with the writing and the ideas within the
racist stereotype that Italians are savages, as many Americans saw text.
them. 17
18 A clear understanding and focus.

At the end of the play, the audience is given the darker perspective
19 An effective evaluation of Miller’s use of language supported by well-
of the italian community and how honour can only be regained selected reference.
through death. 18 When Marco realises that Eddie has called the
Immigration Bureau he accusses Eddie: ‘That one! I accuse that 20 A sustained awareness of genre, and personal engagement.
one! That one! He killed my children!’, Whose use of repetition and
exclamatory sentences show the hatred 19 Marco has for Eddie. The
use of short sentences give Marco a more determined tone and the
accusation ultimately dooms Eddie’s reputation in the community.
The audience is filled with tension as they have already been
foreshadowed what is to come: a duel until death. 20 Also, Marco,
while in jail explains to Alfieri how ‘All the law is not in a book’.
Synechdoche of ‘law’ meaning the whole moral and legal perception
of what is right or wrong shows an American audience how Italians
can have different interpretations of what the law is and how they
have their own rules for these crimes ‘not in a book’ is a metaphor
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Miller uses perhaps to convey how the law is something abstract and
not written so perhaps, Miller is defending Marco’s actions to regain
his lost honour. 21 EXAMINER COMMENTS

In conclusion, Eddie’s death is the climax of the whole play and 21 An extremely effective evaluative summary of the text. This is skilful
it demonstrates the ultimate rule in the Italian community: how and shows flair.
honour can only be restored by death and suffering. Miller presents
22 An excellent summary that demonstrates both personal and critical
the paradoxical interpretations of the law, through different
engagement.
characters, Alfieri being the nexus between American law and the
communities’ rules. Miller wants its audience to reflect upon the law 23 An insightful personal and critical response that is sustained, detailed
and to think to what extent the law is just. With his play, Miller and demonstrates individuality and insight.
makes his audience think and to reflect the different outcomes that
the different rules have. Ultimately, Alfieri presents a powerful The response shows a very high level of detailed knowledge of the text
message conveyed by Miller that applies to both American and and makes a wide range of relevant points supported with effectively
integrated quotation. The candidate demonstrates sustained critical
Italian rules which is: ‘Only God makes justice’. This is the idea that
understanding of both the ideas and Miller’s stagecraft. There is always
ultimately we will all be judged by God, a theme very present in a focus on the power of Miller’s writing and critical insight is consistently
both Christian societies. 22 23 demonstrated. Personal and evaluative engagement is consistent
throughout the response.
It is a very high level critical skill to be able to integrate suitable short
quotation within the argument. The candidate does this very well and
on many occasions. For example, in the second paragraph the candidate
writes “ … the use of similar words that give a sense of repetition in ‘justly
shot by unjust men’ highlights the lawless behaviour that many immigrant
Italians have …”. The candidate also shows critical understanding of the
use of language in a consistently skilful manner; whereas many candidates
would have pointed out the use of personification first, perhaps explaining
what it is, this response shows more individual flair, simultaneously
showing knowledge and appreciation stating “Personification of the ‘law’
helps the audience realise how the Italians at the time were frustrated
with the law system and this foreshadows the tragedy that will unfold.”

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Question 4
4. How does Miller powerfully convey to you the rules Eddie’s
community lives by?

EXAMINER COMMENTS

1 This is a focused introduction that clearly addresses the question. It

Miller powerfully conveys the rules Eddies community lives by, by shows understanding and knowledge of the play.
exploring the themes of justice, law and honour. Miller also uses
dramatic irony using the story of Vinny Bolzano to show how 2 A good, clear reference to Miller’s use of Alfieri - showing
individual thoughts and feelings of a man, Eddie, can alter his understanding of Miller’s methods.
perception of justice, causing his downfall and his community to stop
3 Shows sound understanding of the different views towards justice/
respecting him. Furthermore, Miller uses Alfieri, a narrator, playing
law.
the role of the greek chorus in this tragedy, to show the contrast
between the law and the rules the community of Red Hook live 4 A good and relevant choice of textual support although it could have
by. 1 been explored in more detail, such as how Louis’ body language, when
he ‘barely looks at him’ shows his complete disapproval of his actions:
it’s as if he can’t bring himself to look at Eddie.
Firstly, Miller powerfully conveys the rules Paddie’s community lives
by, by through the exploration of the themes of justice, honour and
the law. 2 He does this by using different cultures, Italian and
American, to show the contrast to perception of what is right. The
community of Red Hook consider justice to be very different from
the law. 3 When Eddie betrays Beatrice’s cousins, Marco and
Rodolpho, the community loses all respect for Eddie - even Louis,
Eddie’s close friend, shuns him: ‘(Louis barely turns, then walks
downstage and exits right with Mike)’. 4 Although what Eddie
did was lawful, calling the Immigration Bureau, his community is
disgusted with his actions, showing that they side more with Marco’s
(more Italian) perception of justice. Marco says, ‘I don’t understand
this country’, and ‘all the law is not in a book’.
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Marco says ‘In my country he would be dead by now’. 5 This quote
shows the contrast between the two different cultures and reflects
EXAMINER COMMENTS
the rules Eddie’s community live by, as they are all ashamed by
Eddie’s actions and all turn away from him, especially Lipari and
his wife, whos relatives were also turned into to the Immigration 5 Although there is sound understanding , the essay is becoming slightly
unintended by Eddie’s actions. This shows that Eddie’s 6 too explanatory in approach here. More emphasis on ‘how’ rather
community values justice more than the law, more like the Italians than ‘what’ needed.
and consider Eddie’s actions to be very dishonourable, which is why
6 This shows good knowledge and understanding of the text.
Eddie loses his respect.
7 This section on Vinny Bolzano shows relevant knowledge but is
Miller also powerfully conveys the rules Eddie’s community lives quite generalised in its use of textual reference. For a higher mark
it needs more specific textual support, e.g. ‘his head bouncing like
by through the story of Vinny Bolzano, creating dramatic irony.
a coconut’ with a critical comment on the how this conveys the
Catherine is shocked when Beatrice tells the story Vinny Bolzano, community’s reaction, the violence of the language to describe what
exclaiming ‘what was he crazy?’ 7 This shows that Eddie’s happened.
community considers it imperative to respect family and each
8 Maintaining focus on task and using a relevant quotation.
other more than the law. For them it is unthinkable to take the
course of action Eddie took. Eddie remarks ‘a guy do a think like
9 Although this is still relevant, this section and the beginning of the
that, how’s he gonna show his face again?’ In this way, the audience paragraph is tending to explain rather than explore the text. The
understands that Eddie’s community will turn against those who comments needed to be more critical, picking up on Miller’s use of
betray their own family - no matter for what reason. 8 Alfieri language. Sustains critical engagement with the text and focus on the
Question.
warns Eddie, ‘you won’t have a friend in the world!’ showing the
audience how Eddies actions will cause his downfall and make Eddie
lose his respect. Eddie’s community believes that it is disgraceful to
turn in illegal immigrants because they have never acted unjustly,
and are only breaking the law because they are desperate, like
Marco. Rodolpho says about his brother, ‘Marco is desperate,’ and
Miller portrays this desperation by often making him think about
his family very emotionally, ‘(his eyes showing tears) My wife … My
wife. I want to send right away maybe twenty dollars’. 9 This
causes the audience to feel sympathy for Marco, and understand the
isolation that Eddie’s community brings to Eddie. The fact that Eddie

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went back on his own word and called the Immigration Bureau,
shows dramatic irony as previously, he had the same values as his
community, and looked down with disgust on Vinny, 10 but then, EXAMINER COMMENTS
because he became so obsessed with the notion of respect, and with
Catherine, he desperately went against his own true values because 10 A clear understanding of how Eddie’s behaviour impacts on the
he felt so driven by jealousy of Rodolpho ‘laying his hands on her audience.
like a goddamn thief’. In this way, Miller, through dramatic irony,
conveys the rules Eddie’s community lives by, by showing what 11 This brings the comments together and relates to the Question.
happens to a man when he goes against the ‘code of honour’ and
betrays his relatives to the Immigration. 11 12 The candidate shows understanding of Miller’s methods (his use of
Alfieri).

Lastly, Eddie uses Alfieri playing the role of the greek chorus to 13 Staying on focus, showing understanding of the text
powerfully convey the rules Eddie’s community lives by. 12 He
begins the play by explaining the contrast between the law, and 14 Showing sound understanding of how the rules the community live
Red Hook’s perseption of what is right, stating that, ‘In Sicily from by impact on their lives.
where their fathers came, the law has not been a friendly idea
since the greeks were beaten’. This, from the beginning shows the 15 Both of these quotations could have been explored in more depth.
They are relevant but a critical response to the language in both,
audience that the community of Red Hook think uneasily about the
such as the impact of Catherine’s comment ‘he bites people ...’ or the
law, as they believe that respect and honour are more important. dramatic/emotional impact of Marco’s outburst ‘He killed ... he stole ...’
13 Alfieri, representing the bridge between justice and the law is needed for higher reward.
explains that most of the time now we settle for half now and I like
it better. This shows that the community of Red Hook feel that it is
difficult to abide by the law, and so sometimes it is necessary for a
compromise to be reached, although not everyone is satisfied by the
conclusion. 14 Eddie’s community look down on Eddie and it is clear
to see that they side with Marco, who exclaims, ‘that one! he killed
my children! he stole the food from my children’. Even Catherine,
who loved him so much is shaken with anger for him, calling him
a ‘rat’ and shouting ‘he bites people when they sleep’. 15 In this
way through Alfieri and the reactions of Eddie’s loved ones, Miller
powerfully conveys the rules that Eddie’s community lives by, which

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Eddie has broken, causing the Red Hook community to look upon
him in disgust.
EXAMINER COMMENTS

In conclusion, Miller powerfully conveys the rules Eddie’s community

lives by, by showing how drastically Eddie loses his respect, and 16 Overall, this is a sustained and focused personal response to the
through the exploration of the theme justice and the law, dramatic question; there is some attempt to comment on Miller’s methods/use
irony, and through Alfieri the bridge between the law, and the voices of language.
of the community. 16
The response was sustained and thorough, and made a good range of
generally convincing personal and critical comments. It was consistently
well-focused on the question and showed clear knowledge and
understanding of the text as well as some critical understanding of
Miller’s methods (AO3). The focus tended to be on the recognition and
illustration of Miller’s methods rather than always managing to show
a personal/critical appreciation of how these created their individual
effects, enhancing the audience’s understanding of what was being said/
happening on stage.
For a higher mark, the use of the text and the critical response to it needed
to be more consistent. Slightly shorter or more effectively integrated
quotations would have helped. For example, the candidate gave three
similar quotations showing knowledge of the text where perhaps one,
more effectively integrated, quotation would have sufficed; the contrast
between the cultures was asserted but a more explicit exploration of
individual words, focusing on Marco’s comment ‘In my country he would
be dead by now’ and what it actually tells us about Marco’s beliefs, a
deeper awareness of his ideas/attitudes and just how the simplicity of his
response shows this, would have resulted in a higher mark.

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Question 5
5. Read this passage carefully, and then answer the question that
follows it:
Passage from An Inspector Calls by J B Priestley
How does Priestley make this such a striking introduction to the EXAMINER COMMENTS
Birling family and Gerald Croft?

1 The use of ‘perverse’ suggests clear focus on the key word ‘striking’
In this extract from the play ‘An Inspector Calls’, Priestley presents
that is in the question.
a striking introduction, hinting that there is something perverse 1
going on in this idealy luxurious celebration. Priestley employs, the 2 A focused introduction.
characters interactions, stage direction and a tence atmosphere to
hint to his audience that everything is not good. 2 3 The candidate hows clear understanding of how Sheila feels.

4 Possibly relying a little bit too much on hindsight here, but still
Sheila creates the most intrigue on the audience, as she is irked
showing good knowledge of what happens later.
3 that Gerald had neglected her last summer. This is clear when
Priestley wrote, ‘Yes - except for all last summer, when you never
5 The candidate demonstrates good knowledge and supports this with
came near me’, whose use of a reprouchful tone is clear. The adverb suitable reference.
‘never’ suggests total abandonment which might foreshadow how
Gerald’s affair later will be uncovered. 4 The stage directions (half 6 Personal engagement with Priestley’s ideas.
serious, half playful) stress the warning tone Sheila employs and
the fact that she is described as ‘playful’, might reflect her naivety,
which will contrast with Sheila’s maturity in the end of the play. 5
An post-war audience would find it correct for Gerald to neglect
and reject Sheila, as he is a working man and he is busy. However,
Priestley might have wanted to show Sheila as an example for the
women in the new post-war generation to follow so the fact that
Sheila critizises her fiance is a clear sign of the new emerging role
of women. 6 Priestley strikes the young women in his audience
so that they too fight against the dogmatic position of subjugation
women suffered. Also, Gerald’s response ‘I was awfully busy’ uses
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dramatic irony, as the aderb ‘awfully’ foreshadows his affair with
Daisy Renton. 7 Perhaps, Priestley is stressing how men at that
time had affairs so he is appealing for the support of the women in EXAMINER COMMENTS
the audience to end this situation.
7 This comment on ‘awfully’ isn’t totally convincing but it is showing a
Eric’s attitude in this passage is striking, as his lack of manners deeper awareness of attitudes.
does not reflect his social position and is not appropriate for the
8 Well-focused on question and ‘striking’.
party. 8 The fact that he does not speak until the second page is a
contrast with Eric’s future attitude, when he challenges his father’s
9 This could have been supported by more detailed reference to
statements 9 and continually questions his ideas. Furthermore, suitable moments.
the audience can realise some sort of distancement that Eric
has towards his family or perhaps, it might suggest that he has 10 This section on Eric is slightly less effective; it still shows clear
something to hide. Eric’s first intervention is given by the stage understanding and makes some response to the writing but lacks the
directions [Eric suddenly guffaws]. ‘Guiffaws’ is a verb that clearly flair of the previous answer.
conveys a unpleasant laugh and it might be reflecting Eric is drunk
11 Again, this is slightly unconvincing as there is not textual evidence
10 and this will be a link to later in the play, where the audience is
later in the play to support this thesis.
told Eric is a hard drinker and how he raped Eva while drunk. Also
it could highlight Eric’s immaturity and it could highlight tensions 12 This stays focused, developing the ‘striking’ aspect of the question.
between the older and new generation. In addition, the laugh could
be to Gerald’s comment about neglecting Sheila last summer, so it 13 A valid, supported point.
might suggest that Eric knows something about Gerald (the affair)
that no one, including the audience knows. 11 This is striking for
the audience who is intrigued to know what is really going on in
this family. Maybe Priestley is trying to portray and critizise the
post-war society, where upper-classes appeared loving families but
were just bind together by liest and underground secrets, adding the
recurring theme of secrecy.

The fact that Gerald’s parent are not present is also perplexing 12
because an engagement party is very important so perhaps the
audience realises there might be a reason behind this. 13 Mr Birlin

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states, ‘It’s a pity Sir George and-er-Lady Croft can’t be with us.’
The use of the noble titles ‘Sir’ and ‘Lady’ show an audience the
wealth of the Crofts’ family and how the marriage might not be EXAMINER COMMENTS
accepted by both parents, who despise the idea of their son marrying
a lower-class woman. In addition, Priestley might be suggesting 14 There is no real evidence for this in the given passage.
that the marriage between Sheila and Gerald might be forced and
perhaps, Birling is forcing Sheila to marry. 14 This is more clear 15 A valid critical comment that shows understanding of Priestley’s use
later when we see Sheila’s and Gerald’s reaction crippling and it of language.
might be a warning for women in the audience to marry whom
16 Or that he is struggling with the correct way to address them?
they really love, since an arranged marriage will end tragicaly -
represented by Eva’s Smith death. Also the fact that Mr Birling fails
17 Shows relevant understanding of Mr Birling and supports point with
to remember Mrs Croft title, represented by the dashes and the
appropriate text.
interjection ‘er’ 15 links to the theme of the post-war sexist society
where women and their achievements were neglected and how the 18 The candidate sums up argument well, linking points to ‘striking’.
women were seen as a possesion of their husbands. It is also ironical
and striking that Mr Birling cannot remember 16 the parents of
the family his daughter will marry and makes his audience distrust
Mr Birling, who seems as an ignorant and hard-headed. At the
beginning, it is also striking to see how Birling is trying to impress
17 Gerald when he says, ‘exactly the same port your father gets
from him’. The theme of social status is very present throughout the
play and the downfall of the Birlings family is a symbol to represent
Priestley’s message that the class system is corrupt and inneficient
and that only equality will make a prospering society. We can also
see how Birling and Croft support each other while Sheila and Eric
continually challenge his father’s authority, representing tension
between generations in post war Britain.

In conclusion, Priestley creates an unnatural atmosphere for an

engagement party which strikes an audience, who expects the cliché
rich and loving family. 18 The atmosphere is filled with tension,
resentment and a sense of secrecy which will build up as the play
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progresses. Priestley wants to have a perplexing introduction to
divide his audience since the beginning between the old and new
generations. He wanted us, his audience, to sympathise with EXAMINER COMMENTS
a character in particular and question our role in our society
(nowadays or post-war). This way, he will find it easier to convey his 19 This is a sustained and convincing personal and critical response that
messages and themes through the complex characters he develops. makes a range of well-supported and detailed points.
The shocking beginning is key to grabbing the audience’s attention
and Priestley will drive his play and characters to a crescendo of This response lacks the flair and original comment evident in the
tension as the Inspector will arrive. Not only does he end with a previous response but it is still a sustained, convincing and very well-
focused answer. Its strengths lie in its sense of personal engagement
striking introduction, but also structuraly the play ends cyclicaly in a
with Priestley’s ideas along with the level of knowledge and depth of
shocking end. 19 understanding demonstrated.
This needed more detailed focus on the writing within the given
passage rather than so much reference to later events. For example,
the comments on Eric are fair points but it could have made more of his
implicit criticism of Mr Birling’s speech making shown in his comment
‘Well don’t do any’. There wasn’t much comment on Mrs Birling or on
Gerald, other than his relationship with Sheila. It also could have looked
at Mrs Birling and the tension demonstrated between her and her husband
because of his lack of social etiquette; for example, the fact that she
speaks to him ‘reproachfully’ when she corrects his behaviour which is
quite striking. Similarly, it could have commented on Gerald’s desire to fit
in and be ‘polite’. He doesn’t comment on the Mr Birling’s ‘gaffe’ choosing
instead to agree with Mr Birling’s appraisal of the food.
The personal response to the characters is clearly informed by good
knowledge of the play as a whole but at times this took precedence over
focusing on the passage itself. Nevertheless, this makes a wide range of
both personal and critically evaluative comments and has sustained focus.

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Question 6
6. In what ways does Priestley make the relationship between Eric EXAMINER COMMENTS
Birling and Eva Smith such a powerfully dramatic part of the play?
1 This starts off quite well-focused although the reference to the
Inspector hints at possible drifting from the task.

2 Opening sentence is straying from the focus of the question. Paragraph

then looks at the Inspector and his actions rather than the relationship
between Eva and Eric.
Priestley makes the relationship between Eric Birling and Eva Smith
a powerful and dramatic part of the play by using a build up of 3 Not strictly relevant to the task.
the chain of events to prolongue the revealing of it, through Eric’s
4 How? Needs to develop this.
character and the fact he is so misunderstood by his parents so it
came as a shock to his parents and the audience. 1 As well as the 5 True, but the question asks about the relationship between Eva and
Inspectors character and how his powerful presence compared with Eric, not the Inspector and Eric.
Eric’s, making it a dramatic part of the play.
6 Makes a personal response on the impact of the moment but needs
further, more detailed and critical exploration of the text.
The Inspector’s character adds to how powerful and dramatic this
part of the play is. 2 Due to the fact the inspector is a man of
“massiveness, solidity and purposefullness” he gradually takes charge
of the house hold. Because of his mysterious superiority he allows
Eric to have a drink, contradicting what Mr Birling had previously
said. 3 This makes the part of the unvailing of Eric’s responsibility
in Eva’s death more powerful. 4 As the younger generation is
more ‘impressionable’ the Inspector’s influence effects Eric massively
through out the play but more so towards the end. Priestley makes
it a powerfully dramatic scene through contrasting the inspectors
superiority with the Birlings who are of a higher social class. 5
Its the inspectors ‘duty to ask questions’ so the inspector’s serious
manner contrasted with Eric’s drunk state emphasise the dramatic
element of this scene. 6

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Priestly makes the relationship between Eric Birling and Eva Smith
powerfully dramatic because of the position Eric’s story is in the
play. 7 Mrs Birling who is a ‘cold woman’ and thinks of herself as EXAMINER COMMENTS
socially above everyone in the room and cares clearly about image
and manners. Had just previously blamed the father of Eva’s child
7 Seems to be coming back to question and shows some understanding
as the cause of her tragic death. Priestley uses dramatic irony here of the impact of the play's structure.
as Eric is the father. 8 This leaves the audience but more so Mrs
Birling in shock due to her being the ‘more dominant member of 8 Recognises the dramatic irony but describes the moment in quite a
the community’. Eric is the last character in the Inspector’s ‘chain generalised way. Needs more specific textual support.
of events’ emphasising how powerful the story is as the suspense
9 Shows overall understanding of Priestley's method but again needs a
has been building up through out the play. 9 The position of his more critical approach and more specific textual support.
revealing of the relationship also makes it very dramatic due to the
build up of suspense and tension. 10 As well as the fact that Gerald 10 Specific textual support would help here.
had previously revealed, through the inspectors questionning that he
had been in an affair with her aswell. This adds to the dramatic feel 11 Not totally convincing about being 'unexpected'.
to the relationship between Eric and Eva as it was more unexpected
12 Shows general knowledge and understanding of Eric's portrayal though
that Eric had a relationship with her aswell. 11 Although it was not
more specific textual support would help. Also needs more focus on the
unexpected that Eric had some responsibility for her death due to actual question.
the inspector portraying everyone had responsibility for the murder.
13 Shows some relevant knowledge of when their 'relationship' began.
As well as this, Eric’s character made this a powerfully dramatic
part of the play due to how Priestley portrays Eric gradually
through out the play. Eric is quite a misunderstood character by his
parents. He drinks far too much showing how unstable he is and
works at his fathers business which shows not much independence.
12 Mrs Birling understands him the least, for example she says
“You aren’t the type – you don’t get drunk” This is very inaccurate
as Eric was very drunk when he met Eva. Eva at the time of thier
meeting was a prostitute however in 13 the play they use the
euphemism “woman of the town” and even this was classed as a
innapropriate phrase due to the time period it was set in. This is
surprising of Eric to his parents that he would sleep with a prostitute
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however it is more surprising to the audience 14 and the characters
(other than the aware inspector) that Eric was aggresive towards
EXAMINER COMMENTS
Eva at thier first meeting. 15 Eric’s character reveals more through
out the play and at this point is when he is revealed most for his
true identity. However he is not condemned by the Inspector due
14 Aware of impact on audience though more detailed support needed.
to his apologetic and helpless live. 16 Eric is also dramatically
revealed to have stolen fifty pounds from his father’s business which 15 Needs textual support.
was regarded as a lot of money and theft. This is shocking to the
audience due to the shocked nature of Mrs and Mr Birling. 17 The 16 Not very clear what this means.
fact that he offered to marry Eva Smith due to Eric being a helpless
17 Again, aware of general impact on the audience but much more
and immature boy provokes sympathy from the audience for the
detailed support needed.
situation which makes it more powerful. 18 The fact that Eric’s
attraction to Eva Smith was purely based on physical attraction as 18 Trying to address the dramatic impact but very generalised.
opposed to emotional attraction creates a dramatic effect as this was
less common in the days of the set of the play and shows Priestley‘s 19 Possibly, although not a totally convincing line of argument.
modern take on society. 19
20 Summarises earlier points.

In conclusion, Priestley makes the relationship between Eric Birling

and Eva Smith powerfully dramatic due to the positioning of the
revealing of the relationship being very near the end of the play
adding to the intense response of it aswell as the previous occurances
of Mrs Birling unknowingly blaming Eric for the death of Eva. 20
Aswell as the mysterious, extraordinary, dominating presence of the
inspector adding to how dramatic the relationship was made. Eric’s
reveal of the character and also his progression is a shocking and
therefore dramatic element to e purposefully dramatic relationship
in An Inspector Calls.

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 EXAMINER COMMENTS

The essay begins more strongly than it ends. Overall the response is
quite well-developed; the opening paragraphs are quite well-focused
and demonstrate sound knowledge and understanding of the play as a
whole (AO1/2). However, although the dramatic impact of the delayed
revelation of their relationship is recognised and understood (AO3) this
could have been explored in much more detail, especially exploring the
dramatic impact of the break between Acts Two and Three. At times, there
is too much focus on the other characters involved with Eva, or on the
Inspector’s involvement with Eric as an individual, instead of focusing on
how Priestley makes the relationship between Eric and Eva so ‘powerfully
dramatic’ (AO3).
The last half of the response is quite explanatory / descriptive in places; it
demonstrates good general knowledge and understanding of the play and
some of its deeper implications (AO1/2) but supporting text is used less
effectively. The candidate relies rather too much on generalised comments
and reference instead of making a developed response to Priestley’s use of
language.
How the candidate could have improved the response.
For a higher mark, the candidate needed a more consistent focus on the
precise wording in the question, better focus on the dramatic impact of
Eva and Eric’s relationship, along with a more critical approach to the
text. More textual support combined with a more critical exploration of
the that support is needed, for example at Examiner Comment 4. For
example, there is much to be said on the tension at the end of Act Two,
on the impact it has on Sheila and Mrs Birling. Equally, it could have
explored the powerful language used by both Mr Birling and the Inspector
in their condemnation of Eric’s behaviour and the impact it created on him
(AO3). Wider themes such as guilt, responsibility and power are presented
through the relationship and contribute to its dramatic power and these
could have been explored in much more depth / detail. (AO2/3).

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Question 9
9. Read this passage carefully, and then answer the question that EXAMINER COMMENTS
follows it:
Passage from The Merchant of Venice by William Shakespeare 1 A relevant introduction that suggests what the essay will be focusing
How does Shakespeare vividly convey Shylock’s thoughts and on.
feelings at this moment in the play?
2 Identifies, names and illustrates the technique in a slightly 'mechanical'
way.
Shakespeare vividly conveys Shylock’s thoughts and feelings at
this moment in the play, to portray his indigance and frustration 3 Shows critical understanding of the impact of the listing.
towards his daughters abandonment of him, and the fact that he
is often scorned, mocked, and looked down upon by Christians,
resulting is Shylock’s bitter hatred for them. 1 4 Staying focused: makes a relevant comment.

Shakespeare vividly conveys Shylock’s thoughts and feelings at this 5 Shows relevant contextual knowledge.
moment in the play by using asyndetic listing. 2 Shakespeare
writes ‘laugh’d at my losses, mck’d at my gains, scorned my nation,
6 More specific detail from the given passage would help here.
thwarted my bargains...’; portraying Shylocks anger at Antonio
as he is ranting and listing without pauses 3 all the things he
feels Antonio has done to wrong him. This vividly conveys Shylock’s
thoughts and feelings to the audience as his anger is very deep and
bitter. 4 The audience know the feelings that Shylock and Antonio
had for eachother, for example, Shylock stated, ‘I hate him for he is
a Christian’, 5 and this long rant further reinforces his hatred and
anger as he is shown to be so affected by the way Antonio treats
him, because he is passionately exclaiming all the ways in which
he has been mistreated. In this way Shakespeare’s use of asyndetic
listing emphasises Shylock’s bitter feelings towards Antonio. 6

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Secondly, Shakespeare vividly conveys Shylocks feelings at this 7
moment in the play by using repetition and rhetorical questioning.
For example, Shakespeare wrote, ‘If you prick us, do we not bleed? If EXAMINER COMMENTS
you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?’ The
rhetorical questioning reflects Shylock’s incredulity 8 that he, being
7 Again, a slightly mechanical approach to the task – it would be better
a Jew is not treated the same way as a Christian is, and vividly
to focus first on Shylock's thoughts and feelings.
shows his belief that this racism is very unfair. Furthermore, the
repetition of ‘do we not’ emphasises how angry 9 Shylock is about 8 This makes a relevant comment but the response to Shakespeare's
the way his race is treated, and makes the modern audience feel writing could be developed in more detail, focusing on individual words
pity for Shylock and understand why he is so desperate - to have ... as well as relating it to Shylock's appear to a common humanity.
his bond – he feels so wounded that he is compelled to ‘feel for the
ancient grudge’ he bears Antonio. In addition to this, the repetition
9 Showing sound understanding of the effect created by the repetition
while maintaining good focus on the question.
of ‘you’ reflects 10 how Shylock feels it is always the Christians
doing the actions, enhancing his belief that it is the Jews who are
10 Sustaining focus and critical approach.
the victims, as the actions are always done to them, rather than
by them. This further emphasises the fact that Shylock is indigant
11 Makes a further relevant comment showing clear understanding of
11 at the way Jews are always regarded and treated differently
both text and task.
to Jews. In this way Shakespeare, through the use of repetition and
rhetorical questioning emphasises Shylock’s feelings of anger at being
12 Selects a good quotation and shows clear understanding of how it
treated unfairly by Antonio and other Christians. creates its impact – though it could have explored its harsh sounds and
how they are created.
Lastly, Shakespeare uses monosyllabic sentences to reinforce Shylock’s
13 Continues to develop a wide range of relevant points showing clear
feelings and thoughts to the audience at this moment in the play.
understanding.
For example, Shakespeare writes, ‘She is damned for it’ and ‘I
am a Jew’ to portray and really drive home his anger. 12 The
short phrasing mixed with the monosyllabic texts emphasises his
frustration as his points are very blunt, and each syllable is stressed,
showing the audience how Shylock is very upset at his ‘daughters
flight’ with Lorenzo, especially as he is a Christian and his irritation
at Salerio asking what the flesh is ‘good for’. 13 Shylock is very upset
by the double standards of the way Christians beat Jews and expect
to be treated by Jews, and this is further enhanced by his daughters
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betrayal of him and his faith. In this way, Shakespeares through his
use of monosyllabic texts and short phrasing, emphasise Shylocks
feelings of frustration. EXAMINER COMMENTS

In conclusion, Shakespeare uses a wide variety of language

14 A clear and effective summary.
and structures such as asyndetic listing, repetition, rhetorical
questioning, monosyllabic words and short phrasing to emphasise Overall, this shows secure understanding of both the question and
Shylock’s feelings of hatred towards Antonios bitterness, anger and most, if not all, of the passage. It is well-focused throughout and there
frustration, at this moment in the play. 14 is some well-developed, occasionally perceptive, response to the way
Shakespeare’s writing achieves its effects. Supporting quotation from
the given passage is relevant and thorough but it needs to be more
consistently integrated for a higher mark. The response is thorough in its
approach, working through the points in methodical manner; however,
by concentrating on the methods (every paragraph beginning in a rather
similar slightly ‘mechanical’ fashion) the response showed recognition of
the methods used but didn’t quite manage to focus sufficiently on how
they ‘vividly’ created their effects on the stage (AO4/3). It also lacked
the individual flair and sense of personal engagement needed for a higher
mark.
How the candidate could have improved the response.
In terms of demonstrating key knowledge and understanding (AO1/2)
the response doesn’t cover some of the quite important sections / ideas
of the given passage and, although it isn’t penalised for this, it needs
to explore more of the passage for a higher mark. Areas which could
have been looked at in greater detail include: Shylock’s blaming of the
Christians for Jessica’s flight; the impact of Solanio and Solario’s goading
on him; and the truly impassioned, and therefore ‘vividly portrayed’,
nature of Shylock’s final speech – the mixture of his grief and fury at years
of mistreatment by the Christians (AO3). More could have been made of
the dramatic impact of his language, such as the use of imagery of death,
disease and violence in his final speech (AO3).
The response to language use, such as the comments on Shylock’s
repeated use of rhetorical questions needed to be developed more
specifically, with more focus on individual words (AO3) showing just how
he makes his impassioned plea for a common humanity.

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