Coaching Session Planner Quest Journal

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Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

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Table of contents
Welcome to Coaching Session Planner 3
About Ajit Nawalkha 4
Chapter 1: Truth About Coaching 5
Chapter 2: Product Over Marketing 9
Chapter 3: Outcome-Oriented Thinking 14
Chapter 4: A Structure for your Coaching Session 16
Chapter 5: Anatomy of a Coaching Session 18
Chapter 6: Structure of a Powerful Coaching Engagement 30
Chapter 7: Examples of Coaching Structure in Your Business 35
Chapter 8: The 8 Pitfalls of Coaching Sessions 44
Chapter 9: 10 Principles of Extraordinary Coaching 52

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Welcome to Coaching Session Planner

• Have you ever been told how much you help others around you?
• Have you ever craved doing something that has a real impact in the world?
• Have you ever considered becoming a full-time coach?
• Do you want to create powerful results for your clients in every single session?
If the answer to any of these questions is a yes, then this is THE guide for you.
I’ve put all my years of experience in coaching and creating learning experiences into
this guide to make coaching simple, to make it doable, and to make it work. Is that
even possible?
Trust me, by the end of this guide, you’ll be saying HELL YEAH!
As a coach the most hurtful assumption you can make is that you can transform your
clients in just one session. The get results fast approach doesn’t serve your clients.
Imagine someone came to you with a deep cut in their arm. You looked at the arm
and scrambled to get them a quick fix.
You will probably stop the bleeding in the moment. But you won’t understand why the
client had that cut, how to avoid it in the future and how to heal this wound in a way
that it really heals.
In this guide you will further your understanding of how to create powerful sessions.
Sessions that really transform the lives of your clients.
But most new coaches fall in that trap and also tend to create sessions that are over
engineered. And when they can’t show results, they start doubting themselves. It’s a
vicious circle.
In this guide you will:

• Learn why you haven’t been able to create powerful results as a coach
• Have a proven structure to make your first coaching session more powerful
• Learn to create a follow up plan for future coaching sessions
Love,
Ajit

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About Ajit Nawalkha
As co-founder of Blinkwebinars and Evercoach, who also started many companies

including Global Grit Institute, Infinite Creative and EPIC Businesses. Ajit Nawalkha is
no stranger to the world of coaching and business.
His life was transformed by smart, gifted coaches and mentors, and this motivated
him to become a coach himself. His mission is to empower dedicated educators,
coaches and teachers to facilitate positive change in the world.
He is recognized by the industry as a powerhouse international investor, entrepreneur,

speaker and business coach, built his reputation the old-fashioned way — with
persistence, grit and an unshakeable determination to succeed.
Best-selling author of "The Book of Coaching", "The Business Book of Coaching" and
"Live Big", his mission and purpose is to impact a million lives. To create solutions for
the world. Turn the world to learning. Empower trainers and coaches to create
positive change. To make the world safer for women. To make work fun
He believes that when it comes to creating a business and a life you love, it’s all
about doing less, not more and his methods have been proven to work again, and
again.
One of his core beliefs is that a life worth living is a life that is dedicated to being of
service to others. Ajit’s passion and purpose revolve around helping coaches, authors,
speakers and entrepreneurs create a positive impact in the greater world. Nothing
makes him happier than watching honest, dedicated business owners achieve their
dreams; knowing that he played a part in making those dreams come true.

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Chapter 1. Truth About Coaching

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”
- Ferdinand Foch
Here are two common myths you have been told about being an effective coach.
You have been told you need…
❌ A degree from a fancy school
❌ Years and years of experience
It seems sensible that to be a coach you should either have a degree in your chosen
field or extensive experience. That’s where you’d learn and be able to coach others
right?
WRONG!
At least partially. While having coaching training, and putting in the hours of practice
is necessary for any coach, , it doesn’t guarantee you to be an effective coach.
Let me explain. To be a coach the last thing you need is conventional education. In
fact, what most people are struggling with is conventional education and its inability
to get them results.
Most of the time conventional education fails in real life because it’s so dated. The
world is moving really, really fast. And curriculums don’t change at that speed. So
even a top school education can’t keep up with what’s happening in the real world.
And because it’s old news, it fails to deliver what people really want - results, growth,
and success. Most coaching certification schools are the same. They follow old
standards, with non-dynamic curriculums that follow the same old formula that
others proposed before.
In fact, most of the time, going to college is more of a network building activity and
not a knowledge building activity. The real intent of people enrolling in top universities
is to find the right kind of people to engage with who can further your career.
And similarly, having years and years of experience is not necessary to be a great
coach. There are many other ways you can work magic for your clients without
depending on prior experience.
One of them is Attitude.

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“The coach doesn’t have to play the sport as well as you do.
They have to watch you and get you to be your best.”
- Eric Schmidt, Former CEO, Google
There are 4 fundamental attitudes you need to be an impactful coach

1. Interest
2. Curiosity
3. Intent
4. Adaptability
1. Interest: Coaching is not about your experience. It's not about your qualification.
It's about your interest. When you are interested, you are more available and
cognizant of what's actually happening in the world - you are more aware. You know
what areas of transformation you want to focus on.
And that profoundly changes your understanding of what’s needed to drive

outcomes for your clients. You are not looking at coaching like a chore, but something
that excites you. When you are interested, you make the sessions more fun and more
productive for your clients as well.
2. Curiosity: The one massive differentiator between coaches that do okay and
coaches that are extraordinary is curiosity. To be able to coach someone in achieving
their goals, you need to be curious about them.
When you are curious, you dive deeper into the client’s story and make an effort to
know more. You constantly question things:
• How does it work for that person?
• What makes or breaks this journey?
• What factors are most important for this person to be able to achieve these goals?
• How can I create transformative change for my client?
3. Intent: To create exponential results you have to live the reality of the person sitting
across the table from you - what they are doing and where they are coming from.
You must have an intent to help them achieve their goals and be willing to ask the
tough questions to get them where they need to be.
• Do you have what it takes to take your client from the state they are at, to the state
where they want to be?
• Do you have an intent to support that journey?
• Can you help them see the world through a different perspective?
• Are you willing to ask the tough questions?
• Are you willing to challenge them?

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4. Adaptability: Remember, every client is unique, and while you must have a
structured approach to coaching, you need to fit it to their specific needs - you need
to be adaptable.
And when you know that, you realize why your prior experience doesn’t matter. It
might not be relevant to the client’s situation at all and you cannot replicate it as
such. So, what you do need is developing an interest and a common understanding
of human behavior and how things work.
When these 4 factors align you are more likely to create the outcome that you want
to create. That’s where we as coaches also find our satisfaction.
Step one towards your coaching journey: Find your direction
To be able to create the outcomes that you want to create for your clients, you first
need to know what sparks your curiosity and interest.
• What is that specific area where you WANT to build a solid understanding in?
• What is it that your clients should come to you for?
• And how do you decide where to start?
The road to becoming a great coach starts with your passion. Your passion to create
an impact in another person’s life. Your passion to help others create the results
they’ve always dreamed of.
Remember, you don’t have to be an expert in this.
You are not trying to be the person who says, “I'll tell you the answer”.
You're the person who listens, inquires and helps your client see another perspective.
Discover another approach.
In the medley of multiple levels that require coaching, there are certain areas that are
pre-defined, and several that are unknown at the beginning but are revealed as you
move forward with your coaching.
When you start with an area that sparks your interest and curiosity, you are more
likely to create positive results for your clients.
This is a personal invitation for you to discover what moves you. To discover what
fuels your actions and fills you with energy. Start exploring one area, see how that
feels for you. You might decide to go deeper, or to migrate your attention to other
areas of life. Start by exploring ONE.

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Identifying a specific area to focus your coaching efforts on...

• Provides you the time and curiosity to really get interested in the topic
• Helps you develop a solid understanding of what needs to be done and what
doesn't
• Gives you the drive to create the outcomes that you want
For example: John started to explore ways to optimize time in order to produce better
results faster. He asked around to find the biggest pains that people had around
managing their time, he read books to find the best strategies for time optimization,
and tried the strategies himself. After a few months of research and self-testing, John
developed a methodology that can create results for his clients looking to optimize
their time.
As you work towards this, remember that your role as a coach is to facilitate your
client’s self-discovery and not to provide them with solutions. It’s easy to think in
terms of solutions that would work for you in a given situation, but that may not be
what your client needs. Your focus should be on letting them find their own solutions.
That is the secret for them to achieve their goals. That is what you were hired for.
Reflection Time
Before we move to the next section, I invite you to spend some time thinking about
the areas that interest you and what outcomes they can drive for your potential
clients. Write them down.
Areas that interest me:
1. _________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________
Outcomes they can enable:
1. _________________________________________________________________________
2. _________________________________________________________________________
3. _________________________________________________________________________
And now narrow it down to the one area you want to start with. Write that down:
______________________________________________________________________

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Chapter 2: Product Over Marketing
“You don’t get results by focusing on results. You get results by focusing on actions
that produce those results.”
- Mike Hawkins, Actor
Keith started his coaching business after investing thousands of dollars in learning the
best coaching, sales, and marketing techniques. He was so ready for this to work. He
started creating a lot of content, had 100’s of conversations with prospective clients;
but he just wasn’t able to show high enrollment numbers.
Anxious about the state of his business, he amped up his marketing activity and
invested heavily in digital promotions. But even after hiring the best marketing minds,
his business was at best mediocre. And he didn’t have the client numbers he was
aiming for.
Have you ever been in the same position that Keith was?
You invested so much in your business, that now you are anxious about whether it will
create the returns to justify that investment.
And so, to make back the money you think you should be making, you start focusing
only on enrollment. It’s tempting to sell hard and get as many clients as you can:
“Let me make the first sale.”

“If I get one more enrollment, I meet my goal for this month.”
“How bad can it be if I sign on this client that’s not my ideal client?”
But it is NEVER worth putting your own mental peace, brand, and business at risk for
taking on a client you shouldn’t have in the first place.
One of the main reasons why coaches fail is because they spend more time on
“getting” new clients than serving them. They get so busy in marketing themselves,
that they forget to drive results for clients who have already signed up with them.
THAT is a sure shot recipe for failure as Rob found out the hard way.
Rob had started his business as a life coach and had spent hours in building the
perfect marketing and branding campaign for himself. After spending hundreds of
dollars in marketing, he did get a couple of signups for a demo session.
But after that initial call, no one came back to actually enroll. When Rob worked with
us to understand what went wrong, it emerged that while his outreach was great, his
outcomes were sorely lacking.

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He had no plan or structure around what to do once he actually got the client. And
so, he fumbled and was not able to convince the clients of his capability. That bad
experience, while driving away from his potential clients, also created doubt in Rob’s
mind. He started thinking, “what if I am not good enough?”.
And from then on, he subconsciously started self-sabotaging his sessions, entering a
vicious circle of non-performance.
There’s a lesson in this: Bad products don’t sell with good marketing.
When you have a good product at hand you don’t have to think about the marketing
angle, a good story, or how you would sell it.
Remember, marketing won’t make you a successful coach. Your ability to deliver
results will.
As a coach, make this your mantra: Marketing is not going to get me clients.
Instagram fame is not going to get me clients. Demonstration of my capability will.
People don’t want to know how popular you are. They want to know what results you
have achieved. So instead of worrying about how to get more clients, shift your
thinking. Start thinking in terms of how you can enable transformation for your clients.
So how do you get out of the money trap?
It can be difficult to stop thinking about money goals and focus on creating
outcomes. Especially where there are so many people telling you how you can boost
your sales and get thousands of clients.
Do you really need a million ways to sell? Not really!
Here is a simple hack to keep anxiety at bay and focus your marketing efforts on the
essentials:
• Set your income goal. What is the minimum income you need to generate in
order to live a comfortable life? Let’s assume that number for you is $100,000
this year.
• Figure out how many clients you need for this goal to become a reality. Let’s
assume your coaching package is priced at $2500. So, in this year, if you were
to work full time you need only 40 clients to make $100,000.
You don’t need to be a marketing genius to get 40 clients. You need to be able to
drive results.
When you are able to shift your focus away from getting 1000 clients to creating
results for 40, you’ll see an amazing change happening. You trigger a butterfly effect.
You transform one life, and they start talking about how good you are.

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That attracts more people to your offer. As you continue to drive results, you don’t
need to market yourself at all - your outcomes will speak for themselves.
Make 100% difference in your enrollment conversations
If you approach a client straight for enrollment, you are likely to fail. This is because
they don’t really know what you do, and why they should engage with you?
Most people are cautious of a sales pitch even before they have seen the product.
People have a tendency to bring their guard up automatically because they do not
know the person making the pitch and their product.
You need a shift in approach - instead of TALKING about your capabilities,

DEMONSTRATE them.
How do you demonstrate your skills you ask?
Well, the easiest way is to start a conversation, build rapport, identify problems, and
share your insights which makes their problems smaller - or even better - disappear.
To do that successfully, you need to be prepared. Investing time in structuring your

coaching sessions will help you feel more empowered, so you can confidently take
your client through the transformation roadmap you have designed for them.
Conventional Approach: Say good things about your product or service

Recommended Approach: Understand and resolve problems
Remember, the power of the transformation lies in the power of the conversation. It
can be a 15-minute conversation to get to know your client, an hour-long coaching
session, or a 4-hour intensive, what you do with that time will define the results you
create.
So, if you want to

• deliver outstanding results
• make a difference with the work that you do
• create lasting transformations and change lives
Then you need to understand the nuts and bolts of what goes into a transformational
coaching session. We’ll talk about this in the coming sections.

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Reflection Time
Now that you know what’s an ideal approach to get more enrollment. Think about
these questions:
How much money do you want to make this year? _________________________
How many clients do you really need for that goal to become a reality? ___________
What is it about your offer that you love the most?

Think about your unique gift and your passion for sharing it with the world. How can
you communicate this?
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
How do you approach clients for a business pitch? What can you change in your
approach?
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Do you have a coaching session structure in place? What does it look like?
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
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What makes a client re-engage with you, or refer you to others?
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________

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Chapter 3: Outcome-Oriented Thinking

“Quality in a service or product is not what you put into it.
It is what the customer gets out of it.”
– Peter Drucker, Management Consultant and Author
Do you want to be an extraordinary coach or just an okay one?

Do you want your customers to keep coming back to you for more?
Do you want to see your coaching calendar full of clients that you feel excited to
work with?
If you want this, then you have to answer a very important question
What are your customers getting out of your offer?
Clients don’t care about your content, your methodology, or your packaging. These
things are important to build as a coach, yes, but they are not what the clients want.
The only thing that matters to your clients is their results. Not your offering, but what it
can do for them.
Put yourself in their shoes. What if you went to a coach who promised to solve your
enrollment issues?
You had a few sessions and they were very engaging and fun. The content made a
lot of sense. And yet, even after spending the time and money, you were still not able
to increase enrollment.
Would you be satisfied with the program? NO!
• To be able to make a difference, you need to think from your client’s perspective.
What would they value?
• What would matter to them?
So, the conversation needs to flip. You have to shift your priority from the product to
the solution. Instead of telling your clients about what you have to offer, you need to
tell them about the outcomes you can drive.
To deliver the results that your clients are looking for, you first need to know what they
want and where you have to take them.
• What is it that they are excited about?
• What is their pain?
• What are their challenges?
• What is their ambition?

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As a coach you should be able to:

• Open a conversation on the possibilities that lie ahead
• Work with the client to help them see these possibilities
• Use the client’s talent to create a path towards these possibilities
• Help the client to actually turn that possibility into a reality
You can do this through various techniques and methodologies as long as you
remember that all of this is just a means to drive transformational results for your
clients.
Structuring your sessions is a great way to ensure that you have the outcome-
oriented narrative in place and are able to drive results every time.
For each client that you work with, DISCOVER THE DESTINATION before embarking on
your coaching journey.
Reflection Time
Who are your clients? What traits, likes, dislikes, ambitions are they likely to have?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What are some of the common challenges your clients may have?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What can you do to help your client? What are some of the solutions that you can
create for them?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
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Chapter 4: A Structure for your Coaching Session
“Structure is more important than content in the transmission of information.” - Abbie

Hoffman, Social Activist
If you’re like most coaches, the idea of creating “structure” in your coaching sessions
would make you want to run as far, and as fast, as you can.
Most coaches think that structuring their sessions is:

• Limiting
• Lacks creativity
• Unnecessary
• Boring
It doesn’t have to be.
In fact, all successful coaches have a loosely defined structure that supports every
one of their sessions and that’s exactly why they’re at the top of their game.
There are many reasons seasoned coaches prefer structuring their sessions and why
you should too.
Structure in a coaching session:

• Guarantees results with a proven approach
• Gives you freedom to safely experiment with creative ideas while delivering on the
transformation
• Helps you create powerful conversations to maximize the coaching time
• Saves time and energy
• Creates a sense of comfort and direction for new coaches
• Instils confidence with a format and system that’s worked in the past
• Builds client confidence in your abilities
Think of it like composing music. While no two pieces of composition are alike, the
structure of each piece is very important, and all pieces are based on the same
seven fundamental notes.
Coaching is the same. No one coaching structure will fit all, but all of them are based
on the same basic principles.
And just like a musician, every coach makes the session structure their own
composition - learning, experimenting, and adapting it to make it work for their
methodology and for their clients.

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Reflection Time
Write down the key segments of your coaching session

How do you normally go about your coaching session? Do you take it as it comes, or
do you have some key segments you navigate through?
___________________________________________________________________________
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Chapter 5: Anatomy of a Coaching Session
“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
- Theodore Roosevelt
A coaching session is one of the most important aspects of a coaching journey.
Before you undertake one, you need to address some key questions.
• How can I really understand what my client needs and wants?
• What are some of the conversational techniques I can use to achieve my
objectives?
• How can I get my client to focus on what is really important?
• How do I ensure that the client is committed to the outcome and accountable for
their results?
Whether you are a seasoned coach or a new one. Whether you are working with a
new client or a regular one on one, the fundamentals of how you interact with them
remain the same.
Great coaches, like great musicians, take these fundamentals and weave powerful
sessions from them - that deliver results and satisfaction for everyone involved.
The four fundamentals of coaching sessions are:

1. Building rapport
2. Setting goals and intentions
3. Coaching through challenges
4. Committed action and accountability
Let’s take a look at what they mean.
1. Building Rapport
The difference 5 minutes can make to a coaching conversation.
When you start a coaching session, it’s understandable that you’d want to jump right
in and start helping your client solve their problem. But hold your horses. Don’t do
that.
Do this instead.
• Ask them how they are feeling.

• Ask them how their day was.
• Ask them if they are comfortable.
• Ask them what’s going on with them.
• Do a small relaxation or breathing exercise together.

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Do you see what we are getting to here? We are trying to make the client relax and
get focused for the conversation that is to follow.
The client might have come to the session after an intense business meeting. Or they
might have had some issues at home. Or they might have just been stuck in a crazy
traffic snarl. In that state of mind, they are just not prepared for the coaching
conversation.
By investing time in building rapport, you are warming them up for the session. You
are inviting them into space where they are fully present in the here and now for your
conversation. You are helping them move from thinking about their problems to a
better, more positive state.
It should be clear by now why this lead up is important for the success of a coaching
session.
Rapport is all about creating a connection with your client - in every conversation. In
the first session you might take 15 minutes to build this rapport. In the following session
you still want to invest at least 5 minutes in it.
Here’s how you can start building rapport

• Acknowledge your clients for showing up and assure them that they are in a safe
place where nothing that they say will be disclosed.
• Start with a light conversation that motivates them and lifts their mood. This will
relax them into the session and open them up to work on what’s really important for
them.
• Connect with them in a way that is comfortable for them. A short breathing
exercise that helps your client slow down can be very effective at the start.
Here are some examples of what that could mean and the ways you can building
rapport at the start of your session:
• Keep your eye contact consistent (around 60% of the time). This allows your client to
feel seen and heard without feeling threatened.
• Make your body language open. Uncross your arms, avoid covering your heart and
turn to face and body the person you are talking to. This encourages openness and
trust.
• Smile.
• Be genuine and honest.
• Match the client’s body postures and tone of voice.
• Celebrate small wins.
• Share personal stories.
• Listen attentively and provide spaces of silence where the client can express their
thoughts and feelings, or reflect.
• Focus on what is going on in your client’s life first. Find common interests.
• Use non-threatening and ‘safe topics’ for the initial conversation.

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Reflection Time
What are some of the rapport building activities you do with your clients? What can
you add to it?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
2. Setting Goals and Intentions
Katy was energetic, enthusiastic, and a great people person. She had the presence
that made people really comfortable with her. Her sessions began with great rapport,
but then petered out leaving the client confused. And after a few sessions, clients
started dropping out. She didn’t know what she was doing wrong.
Katy’s issue was that she didn’t set goals for the session before diving into the
coaching methodology. The result - the conversation meandered from one issue to
another without resolving any of it.
Sessions that progress without goal setting:

• Are unfocused and leave both the coach and the client feeling lost and confused
• Cause your client to lose their drive and interest
• Impact your business as a coach
If you keep delivering unfocused coaching sessions like Katy did, you’re guaranteed
to develop a less-than-awesome reputation as a coach. And that’s definitely
something you don’t want!
As a coach, you want to create “A-Ha!” moments for your clients, not confuse them.
These moments of discovery happen when you are aiming for a goal of solving a
specific issue.
Important Note: Don’t assume what that goal is. Ask your client. Let them lay it out in
their own words.
• What would you like to talk about today?
• What do you want to achieve from today’s session?
• What would make this session successful for you today?
• Is there something on your mind that I can help with?

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Most clients already have a core issue in mind when they show up for a session.
Taking time to set an intention for the session will ensure you address it.
Goal or intention setting helps you get clarity on how to direct the session and also
drive you towards the outcomes your clients want.
“Goals are like magnets; they’ll attract the things that make them come true.”
- Tony Robbins.
Reflection Time
Do you set goals and intentions with every session? How do you go about it?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
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3. Coach through Challenges
Now that you have built a rapport and set the goals for the session, you are ready to
segue into actually addressing the challenges your client is facing.
When you start diving into this phase, the client may share many areas of concern. As
a coach, you need to work with them to identify what are the more important areas
to focus on first and also dig deeper on the root that is causing the problem.
Don’t go by the face value of a concern area. There might be deeper issues that are
actually manifesting in a particular way. So, drill down with questions to find out the
root cause.
The most important tool here is asking “Why?”.
Let’s say your client says, “I am facing issues boosting my sales.” Don’t jump
immediately into recommending ways to boost sales. Ask “Why?”.
Your client then may say something like, “I am unable to convert leads.” Ask “Why?”.
“My leads fall through due to lack of proper follow up.” Ask “Why?”.
“I have too much going on to be able to follow through in time.”
Now you know that the actual issue your client is facing is lack of time. So, what they
want is for you to guide them on how to manage their time better to be able to follow

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through on their lead pipeline, to be able to convert more. And that solves their sales
problem.
A quick sum up here. To drive results, nail the problem first. To do that:
• Discover the main concerns that your clients are facing
• Follow up with questions
• Identify if there is a recurring theme coming up as a concern
Coaching is about helping your clients break away from behavior and thought
patterns that don’t serve them. Coaching is about helping them work with new
perspectives, beliefs, and ideas that will help them achieve their goals.
Transformational coaching sessions help you deliver on this promise every time. And
the secret to transformational coaching is simplicity. When you simplify things, it
leads to creative ideas and solutions to problems that seem insurmountable.
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

- Leonardo Da Vinci
I think by now we are on the same page when I say that your coaching sessions are
about creating results for your clients. What that also means is that they are not
about you.
Often, in order to impress clients with their skills and knowledge, coaches try to use
every method and technique under the sun. That’s counterproductive. The client
came to you because they are already convinced of your credentials. Now they want
to see how your skill can work for them to take them where they want to go.
If you are falling into this trap of sharing everything you know - STOP NOW. And
instead, focus on how you can simplify what you know to solve your client’s problems.
TWO power principles for transformational coaching sessions
Master coaches are always focused on what their client needs and wants at every
single moment during a session. I’d like to share two simple, yet powerful techniques
they depend on.
1. Asking questions
2. Staying present
We already saw the power of questions in arriving at the root cause of a problem.
The same approach can help you open up your clients’ minds and challenge their
views so that they can step out of their comfort zones.

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Asking the right questions allows your clients to go deep and reflect on who they are
and what they want. This clarity helps them create the shifts and transformations
they need to reach their goals.
How do you know you are asking the right questions? Here are some boxes to check:
• Are your questions open-ended, i.e. requiring more than a yes or no response?
• Do you use follow up questions to dig deeper?
• Are you using the power of silence to encourage spaces for deeper reflection from
your client, and sharing more about the way they see their world? ?
• Are you paraphrasing with a question to get a confirmation on what your client is
saying
Asking questions that can be answered in Yes/No or in a few words is unlikely to

reveal as much information as you could get with open-ended questions.
Open-ended questions encourage your clients to share more information.
Here are some great ways to start an open-ended question:

• “Why”
• “How”
• “What do you think about…”
• “Tell me more about…”
Some examples of open-ended questions can be:

• Why is this outcome important to you?
• How do you see the organization in one year’s time?
• What would you say is your biggest challenge?
While you may be acing your questioning game, it’s no use if you aren’t present in the
conversation.
Staying present is about bringing your focus to what the client is saying and what
they’re NOT saying.
To practice active listening, rephrase what you heard from time to time. Repeat what
your client said in your own words and add on a question to get more details.
For example, if your client said that making profit is important to them, you could
rephrase it as, “Since making profit is important to you, what percentage of revenues
as profit in one year would you like to have?”
Rephrasing serves several purposes:

• It helps you to mentally retain what the client said
• It lets the client know that you are attentive and engaged.

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• It ensures you are really understanding what your client is saying

• It gives more power to you in the conversation, as you are capturing the points of
the conversation
• It helps drive the conversation deeper into the area that is important to the client.
Taking a pause is as important as asking questions. A pause in the conversation is

an effective communication strategy.
A few seconds of pause can lead to more insightful dialogue by:

• Giving the client time to reflect on the subject and come up with a more insightful
answer
• Creating a space for the client to share something that might not have come up in
a question and answer based conversation.
When you’re fully present in a session, you’ll tune into your client’s overall energy.
• Are they happy?
• Are they uncertain?
• Are they dejected?
• Are they excited?
• Are they bored?
• Are they dreading something?
Getting a sense of this energy opens up a whole new insight into what’s buried in
their heart and mind – the challenges, ideas, and beliefs that they find hard to share
with you. These might be thoughts that they are afraid to acknowledge even to
themselves or these might be ideas and beliefs that are hidden in their subconscious.
When you bring all of your attention and awareness to your client through presence
and powerful questions - you start a chain reaction of “A-Ha” moments. This is where
transformation begins to happen.
To effectively coach through challenges, do this:

• Use powerful questions to know more about your client, their story, their motivation,
the way they think, and what they believe to be true.
• Note what they say, and more importantly how they say it. Pay attention to what
they don’t verbalize but show in any other form, like facial expressions and body
posture.
• Reflect on the patterns you find in their story, be open about going where the client
needs to go. Challenge any beliefs or behaviors that aren’t serving them.
Reflection Time
Think about your most recent coaching session. What were some questions that you
could have asked your client to dig deeper?

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___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1-5 (with 5 being excellent) in each of these
areas:
Asking the right questions: _____
Staying present: _____
Paraphrasing/ Rephrasing: _____
Using silence effectively: _____
Tuning into your client’s energy/vibes: _____
In the areas that you rated yourself 3 or less, what can you do to move the dot
towards 5?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What's your action plan for improvement?
Asking the right questions: _____________________
Staying present: _____________________
Paraphrasing/ Rephrasing: _____________________
Using pauses effectively: _____________________
Tuning into your client’s energy/vibes: _____________________

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4. Committed Action and Accountability
Now that you have spent time identifying the problem and taking the client through
your coaching process, it’s time to close the session. Don’t lose your momentum
towards the end of the session. This is in fact one of the most important sections of
the coaching session that determines what your clients do after the session ends.
If you are thinking that your job as a coach ends when the session ends. Rethink.
While it’s not your responsibility to follow your client home, hold their hand, and make
sure they take every single action they need to take to reach their goals, it is
definitely your job to make sure your client understands what are the actions they
need in order to reach their goals, and how they will hold themselves accountable.
Your job is to make sure they are clear on what they need to do to get where they
want to go. And this is what you have to emphasize at the end of every session. It
also gives you clear indicators of what you can hold them accountable for in the next
session.
To enable committed action for your clients you need to ensure your client clearly
knows:
• The primary goal of the session
• The specific actions they agreed to take
• The way they will hold themselves accountable for those actions
When presented with large amounts of new information, the human brain is unable to
retain and recall 100% of it. In fact, research on the forgetting curve shows that:
• 50% of new information is lost within one hour

• 70% is lost within 24 hours
• 90% is lost within a week
If you are doing weekly sessions, chances are that without a well-charted action
plan, your clients have lost 90% of what you discussed last time.
Moreover, since coaching deals with challenging the existing state to move to a
transformed future state, it can be emotionally challenging for the client to process
and accept.
What this means is that while you may believe you have been very clear; the client
may have left the meeting without a clear guide on what they need to do.

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This results into:

• Inconsistent efforts towards the goal
• Delayed or sub-par results
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
-George Bernard Shaw
While planning the close of the session, here are some things you need to think
about:
• How can I help my clients get the best out of the session?
• What can I do to increase stickiness of the important points?
• What can make it simpler for the client to implement the ideas I shared?
TWO things every good coach does at the close

There are two essential parts to closing a conversation to make it meaningful
1. Recap the key points of the discussion
2. List down clear actionable steps
Recap of the key points

Did you know humans have a shorter attention span than a goldfish! That means at
several points during the session, despite your best attempts, the client might have
gotten distracted, become disengaged. It’s no one’s fault really; it’s just how we are
built.
So, they may have missed some of the things that were talked about. A recap at the
end of the session to revisit the main points helps them fill those gaps in knowledge. A
recap also helps put a long discussion into concise perspective, facilitating
acceptance and taking action.
To drive home the reason for change and to overcome any emotional resistance to
change, it’s also important to revisit the client’s why at the end of every session.
• Why did you agree to it?
• Why is this action needed?
• Why is it important for you?
• Why do you need to follow up on your commitment?
• Why is the outcome so important for you?
Laying down action steps
Change starts at the coaching session but really happens with consistent action. This
is why you MUST leave your clients with a clear direction of what to do next. A good
coach knows that for ideas to transform into outcomes, your client should know the
actions they need to do.

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Your session is incomplete if the client does not leave with some clear and actionable
insights.
Here is a 3-point system to guide your clients as to what they need to do.
1. Where to start?
2. What to do next?
3. How to attain the goal?
Identify a starting point: Work with the client to understand where they would like to
start the transformation from. While you should not decide for the client, you need to
facilitate their thought process to arrive at a decision for the same.
Map out the follow-up steps: Help your client identify the steps they want to take.
The client CHOOSES, the coach GUIDES. You won’t be the one doing the action, the
client will be. If clients are committed to the steps, they are more likely to complete
them.
Set a roadmap for the duration of the contract: A roadmap can help the client
visualize the time available for each step/ mini-goal. This makes it:
• Easier for client to stick to timelines
• Improves accountability
• Results in higher chances of success
Remember, powerful, transformational coaches guide their clients so they can move
forward after each session, when they’re on their own.
To end a session on a powerful note, do this:

• Reflect back on the goals your clients want to achieve.
• Ask them to commit to action steps. Make sure it is something they feel
comfortable with.
• Co-create an accountability system with your client.
• Congratulate them on any significant breakthroughs.
• Confirm the next session and how you will communicate between sessions.
Your job doesn’t end with the session
The road to transformation is tough and your clients need all the support they can
get. Even after the session is done, you need to keep encouraging and supporting
your clients to take the actions they committed to.
Staying in touch with the client between sessions - with additional information or just
a check-in kind of message could go a long way in furthering your clients’ progress
towards their goals.

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Here are some things you can do:

• Document the most important takeaways from the session and send it to the client
as a reference
• Send a post-session form for the client to reflect on the session, review their action
steps, and provide feedback.
• Send follow-up information like homework sheets, articles, etc. or details on
anything that you were unable to answer during the session
• Check-in (email, text message, call) to notify or plan for the next session
Reflection Time
What does your session closing look like right now? List down some of the things you
do.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What are some things you can add to your session closing to make sure your clients
are committing to action?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
How do you think closing a session with clear actionables could impact your next
session?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

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Chapter 6: Structure of a Powerful Coaching Engagement
“The key to a successful learning environment is structure.”

- Cara Carroll, Educator, Author
Even though all coaching engagements will be different (based on your client’s
needs) there is a certain structure that most of them follow.
Structuring a coaching engagement
Typically, coaching engagements span over a number of sessions and the results
unfold over a period of weeks or months. When you sign on a client, it’s a good idea
to distribute sessions to cover certain milestones.
Here is what it could look like:
1. Session #1: Focus on setting goals for the duration of the engagement. What is
the client looking for? What does their ideal outcome look like? What changes
or improvements are they comfortable with?
2. Session #2 and #3: Focus on creating a plan. How do they want to get where
they want to go? What will their journey look like?
3. Session #4: Define progress. What’s happening? What’s changing? Is the
change desirable? How is it affecting the client? What would be a good metric
to track progress?
4. Sessions #5 to #10: Measure progress and course-correct. Where is the client on
his journey? How are the results shaping up? What else can they do to move
closer to their goal?
5. Session #10 or #11: Redefine goals. With the progress the client would have
made in the past sessions, it’s time to redefine goals and help them think even
bigger than before. What else would they want to achieve? Any other area they
need help with?
Preparation is the key to success: What to do before a coaching session?
There is a quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln that goes like this:
“Give me six hours to chop a tree and I’ll spend the first four sharpening the axe.”
You might be a great coach, you might know your subject inside out, you might have
delivered exceptional results for your past clients, but if you don’t prepare before a
session, you are setting yourself up for failure. Especially if it’s the first session.

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There are a few elements that you have to have in place in order for the first session
to be successful:
1. The right information: Gather as much information about the client as you can -
you can do this through a form or a scoping document that you send them before
the first time you meet or you can do a bit of research on them through their online
presence (if they have one).
2. Clearly established expectations and boundaries: In the same way that it

happens for any human relationship, you need to establish clear expectations and
set boundaries for your coaching relationship with your client.
Make sure they understand what the coaching relationship will look like and what
comes under the agreements of your coaching relationship. Clarify details like the
duration of your coaching relationship, the dates of your sessions, the expected
outcome, and responsibilities for both you and your client.
Also take time to set the boundaries, fees, payment methods, cancellation policies,
mutual respect, and the factors that can terminate the relationship.
3. Respect for time: Have clarity around the timing of your sessions, and always be
punctual. We all have a busy schedule. It’s quite possible to mix up slots and have an
overlap. Or another engagement can run over.
There are a number of things that can go wrong. But being late or mixing up
appointment schedules sends a wrong message to your client. It tells them that they
are not important enough, or that you are not organized enough.
Either way, plan your schedule in a way to have a buffer between engagements. That
gives you some space to breathe and also ensures you are on time for every client. I
personally keep at least 15-20 minutes between consecutive sessions to get in the
right frame of mind.
4. A designated place: Establish a place for the session - physical or virtual -

beforehand. Where you conduct the session will also have a bearing on how you
need to conduct it.
For example, it’s easier to do certain activities in person. You may also need to be
more present and send out more cues to engage the client virtually.
Make sure whatever place you choose; the client is comfortable. Also take away all
distractions before the session begins - turn off the phone or put it on silent, check for
alarms or notifications and turn them off, close all chat windows etc.

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5. The right state: As I said, flitting between too many things in a day can be draining
on your energy and focus. But going into a session without being fully present is not
fair to your client. Getting into the right mindset is very important before every
session.
So, find a practice - be it meditation, or grounding, or music, or dance - that will help
you attain balance before the session, clear your energy, and allow you to be fully
present with your client. Also, leave your personal life outside your session.
Before you have your first interaction with your client, spend at least 10-15 minutes
preparing for the session.
What are your client’s needs? (based on the scoping document)
What would be the agenda for the meeting?
This will ensure you stay on track and are able to maximize value for your clients.
But before we dive into talking about your first coaching session, I want to highlight a
very important thing, and that is HOLDING SPACE for your clients.
It’s important, as a coach, to let your clients arrive at answers that work for them. You
are not trying to fix them or control their outcomes. You are taking them on a journey
of self-discovery - whatever that self may be.
Holding a space where the client can take this journey - experiencing and feeling
whatever they need to, is a very important ask from a coach.
To be able to do this, you as a coach need to be willing to:
• Let go of judgment
• Allow the client’s experience to unfold
• Give your complete and undivided attention to the moment
Acing the first coaching session
Now we are going to put everything we have learned together, to create a structure
for your first coaching session. This is more about discovery - both for you and the
client. It’s about creating a sense of comfort, setting expectations, and laying the
foundation for your relationship
Let’s say you have a 45-minute session, then block 60 minutes in your calendar. This is
what those 60 minutes will look like:

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A guide for subsequent sessions

Once you’ve nailed the structure for the first session, it sets the tone for session 2 and
onwards. Here is how the subsequent sessions would look like.

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Chapter 7: Examples of Coaching Structure in Your Business
“To create, we need both technique and freedom of technique.”

- Stephen Nachmanovitch, Musician
Let’s see how the structure we covered yesterday is applicable to different types of
coaches.
A Life Coach
As a life coach you may be hired for helping your clients with confidence, vision,
goals, or a specific area of life.
Let’s assume you have a client that is facing lack of confidence. Here is how you can
conduct the first session for them.
STEP 1: Prepare the Space

0-15 minutes before the session
Spend time preparing for the session. Clear your mind and your energy and be ready
to hold the space for your client. Pull any notes you may have on this client. This will
prepare you for the session. Now get yourself in the state of confidence and power.
You will need it to help your client.
STEP 2: Build Rapport

0-5 minutes into the session
Acknowledge them for showing up and assure them they are in a safe place where
nothing that they say will be disclosed. Check in what they are feeling in that
moment.
STEP 3: Set Vision & Goals

Dive in your client’s vision for life. You can use assessments to evaluate various
aspects of your client’s life.
Once you have helped them assess various areas of their life, ask them to pick one
area of life that needs most focus.
Once you have the area, take them through a mental journey into the future. Ask
them what their ideal life will look like in that area in 1 year or if you have a longer
contract, in 3 years.
STEP 4: Coach through a Challenge

Now that they have their future envisioned, ask them what could possibly stop them
from making their dreams come true?

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Listen for what they are saying.

Listen for what are the invisible scripts that might be the core reason for their lack of
confidence and belief in themselves. For example, they may be dealing with a past
belief where their capabilities were criticized by someone in authority - like a parent
or teacher.
Challenge those beliefs.

Ask provocative questions that engage their rational and irrational mind to solve
solutions to these potential challenges.
STEP 5: Commit to Action & Close on a Positive Note

Recap key points and agree on an action plan that you will hold them accountable
for. Close the session on a positive note and with clarity on next steps.
STEP 6: Do a Post Session Follow Up

After the session
Follow up and send any additional information that could help them.
A Business Coach
As a business coach you may be hired for helping your clients with growth,
profitability, or solving a specific problem area.
Let’s assume you have a client that is facing challenges in growing their revenues.
Here is how you can conduct the first session for them.
STEP 1: Prepare the space

to hold the space for your client. Pull any notes you may have on this client and go
over the pre-filled scoping document. This will prepare you for the session. Now get
yourself in a state of confidence and power. You will need it to help your client.

nothing that they say will be disclosed. Ask about their day. Check-in how they are
feeling at that moment.
STEP 3: Set Vision and Goals


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Dive into your client’s vision for their business. You can use assessments to evaluate
what has been done to grow revenues.
Take them through a mental journey into the future. Ask them what their ideal
revenue growth will look like in the next few years.

from meeting these goals? Dive deeper by asking “Why?”

Listen for what are the invisible scripts that might be the core reason for lack of
revenue growth. For example, they may not have enough bandwidth to focus on
sales.

STEP 5: Commit to Action and Close on a Positive Note


After the session
A Health Coach
As a health coach you may be hired for helping your clients with their fitness, stamina
building, healthier lifestyle goals, or for solving a health-specific problem area.
Let’s assume you have a client that is facing challenges in losing weight. Here is how
you can conduct the first session for them.

prepare you for the session. Now get yourself in a state of confidence and power. You
will need it to help your client.

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nothing that they say will be disclosed. Ask about their day. Check-in on how they
are feeling at that moment.

Dive into your client’s vision for their health. You can use assessments to evaluate
what they have been doing to lose weight, sleep better, be more energetic, exercise
or eat better
Take them through a mental journey into the future. Ask them what their ideal weight
looks like in the next 1 year.


Listen for what are the invisible scripts that might be the core reason for lack of
weight loss. For example, they may be stress-eating.



After the session
A Relationship Coach
As a relationship coach you may be hired for helping your clients with building
healthier relationships or for solving a specific relationship problem area.
Let’s assume you have a client that is facing challenges in connecting with their
estranged sibling. Here is how you can conduct the first session for them.

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nothing that they say will be disclosed. Ask about their day. Check in how they are

Dive into your client’s vision for their relationship with their partner. You can use
assessments to evaluate what are the problem areas in the relationship.
Take them through a mental journey into the future. Ask them what their ideal
relationship looks like.


Listen for what are the invisible scripts that might be the core reason for the discord.
For example, they may be hesitating to take the first step or maybe lacking trust.


for. Close the session on a positive note and with clarity on the next steps.

After the session

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A Performance Coach
As a performance coach you may be hired for helping your clients with improving
their performance, building more efficiency, or solving specific performance-related
problems.
Let’s assume you have a client who is working long hours and is facing challenges
with time management. Here is how you can conduct the first session for them.



Dive into your client’s vision for an ideal workday. You can use assessments to
evaluate what are the problem areas that lead to longer workdays.
Take them through a mental journey into the future. Ask them how much time they
would want to spend at work vs. other pursuits.


Listen for what are the invisible scripts that might be the core reason for the long
hours. For example, they may believe that staying in the office longer shows their
dedication.


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After the session
A Leadership Coach
As a leadership coach you may be hired for helping your clients with managing
teams, building a leadership persona, or solving specific problem areas.
Let’s assume you have a client that is facing challenges with their team where team
members are not getting along. Here is how you can conduct the first session for
them.



Dive into your client’s vision for their team. You can use assessments to evaluate the
team dynamics and problem areas.
Take them through a mental journey into the future. Ask them what their ideal team
looks like and how it works together.


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Listen for what are the invisible scripts that might be the core reason for the team not
getting along. For example, is there one discordant element? Or is there a need the
team feels to prove themselves to the leader thereby increasing competitiveness?



After the session
A Spiritual Coach
As a spiritual coach you may be hired for helping your clients with exploring deeper
connections with the universe, healing from within, or solving a specific problem area
in their spiritual journey.
Let’s assume you have a client that is facing challenges in healing from trauma. Here
is how you can conduct the first session for them.
STEP 1: Prepare the Space



Dive into your client’s vision - how does their healing look like? You can use
assessments to evaluate what are their roadblocks and how it’s affecting them.

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Take them through a mental journey into the future. Ask them what their healed state
looks like? What do they feel?


Listen for what are the invisible scripts that might be the core reason for the healing
blocks. For example, they are not able to forgive themselves for the past.



After the session

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Chapter 8: The 8 Pitfalls of Coaching Sessions
“When you make a mistake, there are only three things you should ever do about it:
admit it, learn from it, and don’t repeat it.”
- Paul ‘Bear’ Bryant, Footballer
Let’s accept it, mistakes will be a part of your coaching journey no matter how many
years of experience you have.
And some of these mistakes can be costly, both for you and your client.
The good news is that if you know what to watch out for, you can catch yourself in
the moment you are making one and course-correct.
Here are some of the common pitfalls to avoid:
Mistake #1: Blurring the Client-Friend Boundaries

It’s easy to fall into this trap. After all, as a coach you spend hours with a client to
discuss their innermost challenges. You see them at their vulnerable best. You may
even find some resonance with their stories. Friendship is quite a likely scenario. But
not a desirable one.
Now you must be thinking, what’s wrong with being friends? Here’s what - when you
become friends with a client, the coach-client boundary gets hazy and unclear.
Your clients will find it challenging and confusing to work with a coach who switches
between the roles of a friend and a coach.
As a friend, you will also share your personal stories and your vulnerabilities - valid as
they may be - could damage your credibility in their eyes.
Lillian was helping a client go through a difficult grieving process. Over the course of
time, they had become friends. In a friendly chat outside of the coaching session
Lillian told the client that while grieving her dad she had stopped talking to her
immediate family and even now they are not on the best of terms. In the next few
coaching sessions, Lillian noticed that the client wasn’t following through on the
action plans and seemed more and more disengaged.
You see, by sharing that story as a friend confiding into another, Lillian damaged her
credibility.
So, do yourself a big favor.
If you notice you’re sharing your problems or reaching out and connecting with your
clients or messaging them “just to chat,” stop doing it.

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Immediately.
Your client is your client. Your client is not your friend - or worse – a romantic interest.
And this rule cuts both ways.
If you find your client attempting to cross over into friendship territory, have an honest
talk and explain exactly why that’s a bad idea.
As a coach, your key role – your only role – is to support your client to achieve their
goals. Be giving. Be loving. Be sincere. But be professional.
Allowing yourself to get too close to your client can lead to hurt feelings and
misunderstandings that can destroy your reputation.
Mistake #2: Not setting clear expectations
Miles signed up a new client for 10 coaching sessions. Assuming the client read
through all the material that was in his page around the coaching package, Miles
didn’t bother to do any expectation setting with the client.
He went about the sessions as he always did and thought the client was progressing
well. However, at the end of the final session, the client gave very negative feedback
and demanded a refund.
The reason? The client expected that the 10 coaching session engagement would
take a certain format and that wasn't Miles' usual methodology. So while Miles was
doing all he promised on his website, the client thought otherwise.
To avoid such misunderstandings, always be crystal clear on what the client can
expect from your coaching sessions or program - both in terms of the results and the
process.
Let them know exactly what they’ve signed up for and make sure they understand
and agree to it. Tell them what you will do and what you won’t do. Talk about time
limits and other boundaries such as whether you’ll take calls on weekends. Be specific
about the actions they need to take to get the most out of the coaching relationship.
And get this in writing. Contracts may seem like a lot of work, but they are worth the
time and effort.
Setting the right expectations can make the difference between an angry, unhappy
client who’ll tell everyone you’re the worst coach ever…And a client who receives
massive benefits from your coaching methods and style.

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Mistake #3: You do the work for your clients

It can be very tempting to micromanage your clients or go into advice-mode to help
your clients get quick results. But those are not lasting transformations.
Let’s get this clear. You are the coach; your job is to point clients in the right direction.
To actually help them get where they want to go, the clients have to put in the work.
They are the ones who need to build the change they want. They need to create new
positive habits where needed, they need to design their own success.
No matter how much you want them to achieve their goals and dreams, you cannot
and should not do their work for them.
Remember the saying, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how
to fish and you feed him for his lifetime.” That’s what coaching is about.
Coaching is about guiding, supporting and empowering your clients with the right
tools and techniques so they can do what they need to do for themselves.
This means you must do your best as a coach…and then let go. It’s ultimately up to
your clients to create the life they want.
If you don’t have a clear idea of where your work as a coach ends and where the
client’s work begins, you’ll beat yourself up every time a client fails to achieve an
outcome. This will seriously block your ability to coach with confidence.
Mistake #4: You coach based on your personal beliefs

Personal beliefs are a great asset. They help you stay on course in your life. But do
they need to govern your clients’ lives too?
The answer is no.
As a coach you need to be flexible with your world view and keep your personal
values separate from your client’s story.
Every one of us has a unique belief system. The world is full of color and we all march
to the beat of a different drummer. It’s unlikely that you and your client will share the
exact same beliefs about everything.
Your job is NOT to judge, label, or otherwise criticize their actions, choices, and
decisions.
Your job is NOT to tell them what’s right and what’s wrong based on what you think.
Your job is to help them figure out what they need, by themselves, based on their
beliefs and values.

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But it should be okay to judge as long as you keep your opinions to yourself, right?
WRONG!
Your clients will be able to pick up on that silent criticism and that would make them
hesitant to open up to you. And the minute communication is closed between a
coach and a client, that relationship is doomed.
Make sure you arrive at every coaching session with an open mind and heart. Create
a safe judgment-free space for your clients.
Mistake #5: You want to be liked

• Do you avoid confrontation?
• Is it difficult for you to speak out when you feel you’ve been wronged?
• Do you avoid asking tough questions?
• Do you avoid sensitive topics?
• Do you find it difficult to hold your client accountable?
• Do you suggest action plans based on what your client would prefer vs. what’s
actually needed?
This reluctance to follow what your coaching skills say you should do could be
stemming from your deep-rooted need to be liked.
Who doesn’t want to be liked! Our likeability is a big determinant of our sense of
belonging. It’s a deep-seated need in our psyche.
As coaches, we might think we are getting the client comfortable by being nice when
in reality we are catering to our desire to be liked. That’s not what you were hired for.
It doesn’t serve your client.
It is natural to feel that for a new relationship you should lean into the dialogue
gently. This is the OPPOSITE of what you should do. As a coach, you need to get right
into the game, and it is okay if you have to throw some hard truths right off the gate.
How does it help?
The client may already be getting sympathy from their friends and family, what they
need is someone who can onboard the difficult conversations. That’s you.
As a coach you can be the mirror- reflecting the truth and portraying the situation as
it is. The client needs a reality check which can be drastically different from the
glamorized version they might be getting from other sources.
And that is why it's important for you to be very truthful, and to present yourself as
that honest face straight up. You don't need to hide behind anything, and you
shouldn't shy away from difficult conversations, painful revelations, or uncomfortable
truths.

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Coaching is about leading, guiding, supporting and motivating your clients. It is not
about being liked or even accepted. It’s about respect.
So, when it comes to being a great coach, be honest and not a ‘Yes man/woman.’
Strive to make the right choice for your clients, not the popular one.
Mistake #6: You go for everything

In his book “The Dip”, Seth Godin says, “Just about everything you learned in school
about life is wrong, but the wrongest thing might very well be this: Being well rounded
is the secret to success.”
And why is that so? He answers that in another powerful quote, “A woodpecker can
tap twenty times on a thousand trees and get nowhere but stay busy. Or he can tap
twenty-thousand times on one tree and get dinner.”
Don’t tap on a thousand trees. Spreading yourself too thin will just dilute your ability
to create results and drain you of energy.
Decide on the coaching areas that you want to be known for, where you have
already created results.
You don’t want to be known for a range of disappointing, “almost-there-but-not-

quite” outcomes. You want to be known for powerful, solid results. And it’s best to start
with one core focus area and then later branch out when you can guarantee a
positive outcome for your client.
Remember, people want to hire the best. Not the second best, not the average, not
the mediocre. But the best. So, focus on being the best coach you can be in the niche
that you have chosen.
Mistake #7: You don’t take time to understand the core issue
A common mistake that coaches make is that they try to solve the problem before
understanding the problem.
A lot of coaches tend to jump into giving a solution because they feel they are paid
by the hour, and hence they must give the solution right away. Well, that's not the
right way to approach it at all.
When you start a conversation, you only understand the superficial aspect of the
problem – like the tip of an iceberg. You only understand it from the lens that the
client already understands. And your job is to understand it in a much deeper manner.
Even in a time crunch, do not compromise on the time spent on understanding the
various layers of the problem. Failing to do so is likely to result in your solutions falling
flat. And that is something you do not want - especially not in your first few sessions.

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So, here’s how things are:

• Clients want quick results which means they want to rush to outcomes
• You cannot create quick results by jumping ahead without understanding the
problem
• That’s a fine line of balance to tow from a time perspective.
Why do you need to create immediate results?

Clients are unlikely to give you a long period to ease into the issue for you to be able
to perform at your best. Initial engagement with the client is likely to be around a
month in which they evaluate your work.
This gives you four to eight sessions, depending on your coaching contracts, which
effectively means that you don't have a lot of time. And because of this time crunch,
you want to create results as quickly as possible. Which brings us to the next
question.
How do you achieve faster results?

For you to get the result quickly, you need a shift in approach. Don't try to give the
solution faster, try to find the problem faster! If you are able to identify the real
problem fast enough, two things happen:
• Clients take notice of your capability – thus bringing in possibility of longer/ wider
engagement
• Your solution will actually work- which is the most important thing.
Mistake #8: You try to fix everything in 1 coaching engagement

The most common challenge that you face as a coach is thinking about your life in
terms of contracts. What this means is you start thinking - “How do I do everything
that I possibly can within the contract time?”
And so you start trying to fix everything at once. But that’s not the right approach to
coaching.
As a coach, if you have really defined your outcomes correctly, there will only be one
or two major outcomes that you need to achieve. This does not mean that you are
trying to shy away from providing solutions to the problems at hand. Rather, it reflects
that you are cognizant of the fact, that solving one or two really good problems is a
much more efficient way to get to the results.
When you focus on the most pressing and important problems, you provide solutions
that are long term. This is in contrast to trying to solve all the problems and ending up
putting band-aids on all of them, which will lead the scar to open up again.
The moment you walk out of the door as a coach, your moral responsibility is to leave
behind sustainable change. If you leave a client and they stumble after that, you do
not get the feeling of a job well done. If on the other end, your client continues to

Page 50 of 58
grow and prosper even after your contract finishes, it means that you have
supported in creating a sustainable solution.
What should your aim and intent be during the term of the contract? You should not
think – I must do everything within this time period. Instead, realign your thoughts to
come up with - What's the greatest impact I can make with the client in this time
period?
Focus your efforts towards maximum impact, so your client can see sustainable
outcomes much faster. Not only does it help the client, it is also great for re-
enrollment.
In a nutshell:
• Don’t think in terms of the contract but in terms of meaningful impact
• Identify one or two main issues and work on them
• Do not put band-aids instead look for sustainable and long-term solutions
Reflection Time
Now that you know some of the common mistakes coaches make, could you identify
a few that you tend to make? Write them down:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
How have these mistakes affected your coaching outcomes and your business?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

Page 51 of 58
What are some of the reasons that lead you to making these mistakes? For e.g. you
cannot push back enough when clients cross the client-friend boundary. Or you get
anxious about results and hence you try and jump ahead before identifying the
problem.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What can you do to avoid making these mistakes from now on? Write down some of
the action points you will follow to steer clear of these pitfalls.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

Page 52 of 58
Chapter 9: 10 Principles of Extraordinary Coaching
“There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.”

- Roger Staubach, Footballer
When I first started coaching, I went all out. I signed up a bunch of clients, and I
jumped straight into serving them. I created loose structures and frameworks for our
sessions together.
I discovered very quickly that I had the skills to enroll clients, but I couldn’t hold on to
them. They didn’t come back for more.
In that first year of coaching, not a single client re-enrolled with me. They all seemed
to have loved our year together. They achieved their goals. But none of them came
back.
I was confused and curious. So, I did what I always do when I don’t know what’s
going on – I started researching. I wanted to know what would get clients to come
back again and again.
I knew, instinctively, that I would have to take my coaching skills to a whole new level
– an extraordinary level – if I wanted clients lining up to re-enroll with me.
My research revealed some simple but profound truths that I rely to on to this day. I
developed a potent set of coaching principles based on those truths. I call them the
10 Principles of Extraordinary Coaching.
These principles will help you create transformational sessions with clients that will
keep them coming back for more.
Again, and again, and again.
Principle #1 Build Rapport

Your client needs to feel comfortable sharing their deepest fears and challenges with
you. You are their supporter and collaborator. You’re there to get them to the next
level and beyond.
To do that well, your client MUST trust you. She must connect with you on a deep,
emotional level.
And the best way to create that level of trust and connection is to build rapport.
Milton Erickson was a renowned psychiatrist and one of the most skilled hypnotists
the world has ever known.

Page 53 of 58
Erickson was one of the first to declare that human beings have a conscious and
subconscious mind. He also stated that the subconscious mind is far more powerful
than the conscious mind.
And he’s right.
Our hearts beat without us thinking about it. We breathe all day, every day of our
lives, without having to focus on a single breath. We can hold onto memories of
events and experiences that happened years and years ago. And it’s because of the
power of our subconscious minds.
Milton found that when we connect deeply with someone, we are connecting with
them on a subconscious level.
Building rapport creates a subconscious bond that flows outward into the conscious
mind.
It’s that feeling you get when you’ve just met someone for the first time, and you think,
“I really like this person! It’s like we’ve known each other for years!” That’s rapport!
Rapport can happen completely naturally, or you can engineer it. Either way, it
works.
The most powerful way to create rapport with someone you’ve just met is to use a
technique called ‘mirroring.’ Ever noticed how couples who have been together for a
long time seem to talk in the same way?
They often share similar physical gestures too. This phenomenon can also be
detected among close friends, long-term business partners, and any duo or group of
people who are deeply connected. This is mirroring in action.
Mirroring is one of the fundamental techniques taught in Neuro-Linguistic

Programming or NLP - a highly effective communication and personal development
tool that’s used by some of the world’s most successful people including top coaches
like Tony Robbins.
It’s easy to implement this technique.
You can “mirror” your client by matching their tone of voice, the pace of their
breathing, hand gestures, body positioning, and movement. Don’t aim for an exact
match – this will be obvious and come across as weird and contrived.
Stay casual and gently duplicate their voice, tone, movement, and mannerisms. Do
this for just a few minutes, and you’ll be amazed at the connection you’ll create with
your client.

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Principle #2 Share Stories

Sharing stories is an effective way to help clients view their challenges or problems
from a fresh perspective. Stories gently take your clients out of their current reality
and into a new reality.
You can use metaphorical stories or experiences that actually happened to you.
Stories are powerful change-makers. Use them generously in your coaching sessions. I
personally maintain a stack of stories that I can use to draw context, inspire, question
and challenge my clients.
Be mindful that your stories are not outrageous tales or highly personal experiences
that create anxiety or discomfort in your clients. It’s not about oversharing. It’s about
helping your clients find inspiration and new insights.
Principle #3 Set Intentions

When you don’t set clear intentions at the start of your journey with a new client,
you’re opening yourself up to all kinds of trouble. It’s a simple step, but when you miss
it - disaster.
I learned this the hard way.
I’ve lost big money - hundreds of thousands of dollars - all because I didn’t set clear
intentions with the client from the get-go.
Use the following questions to set practical and clear intentions:

• What are the outcomes we are expecting out of this coaching agreement or
coaching session?
• What is the vision for our work together here?
• How will we get the results?
• How will we connect and engage during our time together?
• Are you 100% committed to this coaching experience?
• Are you willing to NOT let your fear get in the way?
When you’ve discussed these questions, note down the answers somewhere so that
you can refer to them regularly with your client. These intentions will do more than
create clear expectations at the start.
They will also help you track progress over the long-term. You and your client will be
able to see the magic and the results of your work together.
Your client will know that you’ve been supporting them; how you’ve helped them in
the past, and how you can help them now and in the future. Setting intentions and
reminding your clients of these intentions creates a container for trackable, impactful
results.

Page 55 of 58
Principle #4 Stay Present

Coaching takes a lot out of us. It drains our energy. It’s exhausting. Especially if you’ve
been doing it all day.
All month. All year. Year after year.
Staying present, at all times, when you’re doing such a demanding job can be very
stressful. It can even feel impossible.
This is why you need rituals that will help you get back into the present moment,
again and again. You are doing a disservice to your mission and your client’s needs if
you allow yourself to drift away.
Create rituals that are right for you and that work with your personality, likes and
dislikes. To get you started, here is a list of rituals I personally use when I need to get
back into the present moment:
1. Dance: Dance your ass off to your favorite jam! It will get you to release
frustration or anxiety, center you and help you get into a state of flow.
2. Read something powerful: Mark inspirational phrases or passages in your
favorite books to help bring you back to the present.
3. Play music you love, music that inspires you: This is great for moving your
energy and bringing you back to center.
4. Watch something inspiring: Watch a quick talk, presentation or a section of a
movie that you love. This can transform your state in an instant.
5. Meditate: If meditation is your thing, go somewhere quiet and peace out for a
bit.
6. Recap your vision for your future: If you’ve written a vision for your future, read it
again. If it’s in the form of images, look at it for a few minutes. Let it sink in. See
yourself getting there. See yourself win.
7. Strike a Power Pose: I read this in Amy Cuddy’s great book called Presence. Amy
explains that when you strike a power pose, you’ll almost immediately start to
feel more confident. Find a power pose that makes you feel strong and
powerful and use it whenever you need to.
8. Grin for no reason: You may feel a little stupid when you first start to do this but
keep going. That fake smile will soon translate into real feelings of happiness
and pleasure. Try it. You’ll know I’m right.
Principle #5 Don’t Get Attached

I still get riled up when the techniques, ideas, and insights I share with a client don’t
work for them, but then I remember this principle and the feeling disappears.
If you notice yourself getting upset or worked up based on a client session, it means
you are too attached to your client’s outcome.
This is a massive mistake.

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As a coach, you can instigate and support the process for change, but you cannot
guarantee results.
Period.
Whether a client has a positive outcome or negative outcome, it is their outcome.

You are the facilitator. It’s their action, their reaction, their journey, their outcome.
Attaching yourself to a client’s outcome will hurt the client and affect your energy.
When you tie yourself to a client’s outcome, you become emotional. Both you and
your client will feel excited or sad or frustrated or worried.
As a coach, this level of emotion will stop you from guiding the client in the best
possible way. I know it’s impossible not to feel any emotions - you are human after all!
But do what you need to do to suspend and let go of your emotions as quickly as you
can so you can do what you’re there to do...Coach at the highest level.
Always aim to give your client your very best. This means you need to keep your
emotions in check. This means you need to let go of your client’s outcome.
Principle #6 Be You
This may seem obvious, but it needs to be said...
When a client decides to work with you, they have decided to work with YOU.
Not someone else. Not someone you’re pretending to be. So, bring your WHOLE self
to the table.
You are made up of your experiences, your learnings, your teachings. Make sure you
bring all of the real you into your coaching sessions.
No holding back. No pretending. No excuses.
Principle #7 Be Brave
The concept of Fearless Coaching captured my attention and it stayed with me.
Fearless coaching is what I aim to do in every session with a client. I currently work
with leaders, and many of them are entrepreneurs. Almost all of them are more
financially successful than I am, and they are also older than I am.
It’s easy to feel intimidated and to let my fears guide my coaching sessions.
But I follow this principle every moment of each session with a client - no matter how
wealthy they are, how experienced, how accomplished and how impressive.
Being brave in your coaching allows you to ask questions that you would otherwise
be hesitant to ask. When you let fear guide you, you lock down your mind and allow
your doubt to sabotage what you can do for a client.

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To me, the word brave allows me to experience the fear of asking a question and go
down that rabbit hole anyway. It makes room for caution, but it also encourages me
to ask the question anyway.
Be brave. You will do yourself and your clients a huge favor.
Principle #8 It’s Not About You...

...or about what you think is right.
It’s not about your systems and strategies or how good you are at what you do. None
of it is about you.
Check your ego.
It’s about the client. Their dreams. Their challenges. Their beliefs. Their lives.
You are there to serve them. You are there to help them. Never forget that.
Principle #9 Don’t Judge

Let me give it to you straight...
Sooner or later, your client is going to make choices or do something you feel is
wrong. You will naturally feel like making a judgment about who they are and what
they stand for.
It’s important to understand that what we believe to be right or wrong, good or bad
is based on our personal experience of this world.
Our beliefs are not neutral. They are biased and connected to our views, our
background, upbringing, level of exposure to other cultures and thousands of other
elements.
So, keep your views in check. Your client is coming to you and sharing openly with you
because they trust that you will not judge. This is an unspoken rule of coaching.
Don’t judge.
Principle #10 Don’t Make Ass-umptions

Ass-umptions. That’s what they are.
When we make an assumption, you are making an ass of yourself and of the person
you are coaching.
So, don’t do it. If you are not clear, ask “Would you clarify what you mean by this?”.
If you are clear, ask anyway “Could you elaborate on what that means?”
When you avoid assumptions, you achieve 2 things.
First, you will always know exactly what your client means.

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Second, you encourage your client to go deep and explain how they think and feel
about a situation or experience.
When you keep asking questions – without making assumptions - you aren’t just
making things clear for yourself, you’re making things clear for them.
Sometimes, these simple questions will open a whole new conversation and allow
your client to see new ideas or truths that they didn’t even know existed.

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Page 1 of 58

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Welcome to Coaching Session Planner 3

About Ajit Nawalkha 4

Chapter 1: Truth About Coaching 5

Chapter 2: Product Over Marketing 9

Chapter 3: Outcome-Oriented Thinking 14

Chapter 4: A Structure for your Coaching Session 16

Chapter 5: Anatomy of a Coaching Session 18

Chapter 6: Structure of a Powerful Coaching Engagement 30

Chapter 7: Examples of Coaching Structure in Your Business 35

Chapter 8: The 8 Pitfalls of Coaching Sessions 44

Chapter 9: 10 Principles of Extraordinary Coaching 52

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Welcome to Coaching Session Planner

In this guide you will:

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

About Ajit Nawalkha

As co-founder of Blinkwebinars and Evercoach, who also started many companies

He is recognized by the industry as a powerhouse international investor, entrepreneur,

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Chapter 1. Truth About Coaching

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

- Eric Schmidt, Former CEO, Google

There are 4 fundamental attitudes you need to be an impactful coach

And that profoundly changes your understanding of what’s needed to drive

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Step one towards your coaching journey: Find your direction

Remember, you don’t have to be an expert in this.

Discover another approach.

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Identifying a specific area to focus your coaching efforts on...

Areas that interest me:

Outcomes they can enable:

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Chapter 2: Product Over Marketing

“Let me make the first sale.”

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

So how do you get out of the money trap?

Do you really need a million ways to sell? Not really!

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Make 100% difference in your enrollment conversations

You need a shift in approach - instead of TALKING about your capabilities,

How do you demonstrate your skills you ask?

To do that successfully, you need to be prepared. Investing time in structuring your

Conventional Approach: Say good things about your product or service

So, if you want to

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

How much money do you want to make this year? _________________________

What is it about your offer that you love the most?

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

What makes a client re-engage with you, or refer you to others?

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Chapter 3: Outcome-Oriented Thinking

Do you want to be an extraordinary coach or just an okay one?

What are your customers getting out of your offer?

Would you be satisfied with the program? NO!

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

As a coach you should be able to:

Coaching Session Planner Ajit Nawalkha

Chapter 4: A Structure for your Coaching Session

“Structure is more important than content in the transmission of information.” - Abbie