Handout+ +Free+Guide+to+the+Personal+Statement
Handout+ +Free+Guide+to+the+Personal+Statement
Q: If my grades are bad, can I get into Harvard with a great essay?
A: Nope. Schools look at your GPA, course rigor and test scores more than anything. When you're being compared to
other students with similar GPA/SAT scores, that's when the essays can make or break your chances. Harvard is
great, but there are a lot of other awesome schools too. For a list of Colleges That Change Lives, Google "Colleges That
Change Lives." (Really.)
www.collegeessayguy.com
2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you
faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the
outcome?
4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How
has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding
of yourself or others.
6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate
you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different
prompt, or one of your own design.
2. Describe a time when you made a meaningful contribution to others in which the greater good was your focus. Discuss
the challenges and rewards of making your contribution.
3. Has there been a time when you’ve had a long-cherished or accepted belief challenged? How did you respond? How
did the challenge affect your beliefs?
4. What is the hardest part of being a student now? What’s the best part? What advice would you give a younger sibling
or friend (assuming they would listen to you)?
www.collegeessayguy.com
To listen to the College Essay Guy guide you through this exercise, go here:
www.collegeessayguy.com/guide-objects-exercise
www.collegeessayguy.com
I felt…
_________________________________________________________________________________
(Choose 2-3 emotions from the list below)
Because I needed…
________________________________________________________________________________
(Choose 2-3 needs from the list below)
FEELINGS NEEDS
Delighted Relaxed Scared Angry
Relieved Intimacy Purpose
Joyful Apprehensive Furious Empathy
Happy Rested Dread Rage Competence
Amused Mellow Connection Contribution
Worried Irate Affection
Adventurous At ease Panicky Resentful Efficiency
Blissful Light Warmth Growth
Frightened Irritated Love
Elated Vulnerable Learning
Content Understanding Challenge
Frustrated Acceptance
Thankful Cheerful Nervous Disappointed Discovery
Glad Caring
Appreciative Jittery Discouraged Bonding
Moved Comfortable Anxious Disheartened
Order
Pleased Compassion Structure
Touched Restless Impatient Communion
Tender Clarity
Friendly Vulnerable Divine Union Focus
Expansive Shocked
Sexuality
Grateful Affectionate Disturbed Information
Tense
Loving Cranky Stunned
Passionate Autonomy Celebration
Excited Stiff Alarmed Choice
Appalled Mourning
Enthusiastic Energetic Stressed Freedom Aliveness
Overjoyed Overwhelmed Concerned Spontaneity
Exhilarated Horrified Humor
Fervent Agitated Independence Beauty
Giddy Exuberant
Vigorous Aggravated Respect Play
Eager Sad
Honor Creativity
Ecstatic Hurt Grief
Alert Despair Joy
Thrilled Focused Pain Security
Agony Gloomy Predictability
Awake Sullen
Honesty
Satisfied Clearheaded Anguish Consistency Integrity
Fulfilled Heartbroken Downhearted Stability
Hopeless Authenticity
Gratified Peaceful Lonely Trust Wholeness
Tranquil Torn Reassurance Fairness
Interested Serene Depressed
Curious Disconnected Ambivalent Partnership
Calm Confused
Peace
Absorbed Detached Mutuality Groundedness
Despondent Puzzled Friendship
Confident Hope
Healthy Secure Dejected Companionship
Empowered Bored Jealous
Safe Support
Alive Envious Collaboration
Hopeful Bitter
Robust Tired Belonging
Burnt Out Embarrased Community
Exhausted Ashamed Consideration
Lethargic Contrite Seen/heard
Guilty Appreciation
www.collegeessayguy.com
www.collegeessayguy.com
Next, Pick your Top 5 Values. Once you have those, pick your Top 3.
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
__________________
And then, yes, pick your #1 value. Remember that you’re not losing any of the others, you’re
just picking the most important value for you today.
__________________
www.collegeessayguy.com
Challenges + Effects
This part gets into specific detail regarding a specific challenge the student has faced, and the
various effects of that challenge. Tough stuff you’ve been through. Big experiences. Their subsequent
impacts. Various obstacles you’ve had to overcome.
What I Learned
Lessons and insights you’ve gained through these experiences. Reflection on how your experiences
have shaped you and why that matters.
Montage Structure
What is a montage?
Montage is something you’ve likely all encountered before, but some may not be familiar with the word itself.
It’s a technique that involves using separate elements (pictures, words, music, etc.) to create a new whole. In
filmmaking, the montage effect is used to condense space and time so that information can be delivered in a
more efficient way.
Take the classic “falling in love” montage, commonly used in romantic comedies. We don’t see every single
interaction. Instead, we see: one surprises the other at work, probably with flowers; they walk through the
park; they dance in the rain; they pass an engagement ring store. You get the idea.
The sample essay below (“Laptop Stickers”) was written by a student who collected stickers on her laptop.
Each sticker connected to different values and experiences. Stickers are her thematic thread.
www.collegeessayguy.com
Living without a father meant money was tight, mom worked two jobs, and my brother and I
took care of each other when she worked. For a brief period of time the quality of our lives slowly
started to improve as our soon-to-be step-dad became an integral part of our family. He paid attention
to the needs of my mom, my brother, and me. But our prosperity was short-lived as my step dad’s
chronic alcoholism became more and more recurrent. When I was eight, my younger brother
Fernando’s birth complicated things even further. As my step-dad slipped away, my mom continued
working, and Fernando’s care was left to Jose and me. I cooked, Jose cleaned, I dressed Fernando,
Jose put him to bed. We did what we had to do.
As undocumented immigrants and with little to no family around us, we had to rely on each
other. Fearing that any disclosure of our status would risk deportation, we kept to ourselves when
dealing with any financial and medical issues. I avoided going on certain school trips, and at times I
was discouraged to even meet new people. I felt isolated and at times disillusioned; my grades started
to slip.
Over time, however, I grew determined to improve the quality of life for my family and
myself.
Without a father figure to teach me the things a father could, I became my own teacher. I
learned how to fix a bike, how to swim, and even how to talk to girls. I became resourceful, fixing
shoes with strips of duct tape, and I even found a job to help pay bills. I became as independent as I
could to lessen the time and money mom had to spend raising me.
I also worked to apply myself constructively in other ways. I worked hard and took my
grades from Bs and Cs to consecutive straight A’s. I shattered my school’s 1ooM breaststroke record,
and learned how to play the clarinet, saxophone, and the oboe. Plus, I not only became the first
student in my school to pass the AP Physics 1 exam, I’m currently pioneering my school’s first AP
Physics 2 course ever.
These changes inspired me to help others. I became president of the California Scholarship
Federation, providing students with information to prepare them for college, while creating
opportunities for my peers to play a bigger part in our community. I began tutoring kids, teens, and
adults on a variety of subjects ranging from basic English to home improvement and even Calculus.
As the captain of the water polo and swim team I’ve led practices crafted to individually push my
comrades to their limits, and I’ve counseled friends through circumstances similar to mine. I’ve done
tons, and I can finally say I’m proud of that.
But I’m excited to say that there’s so much I have yet to do. I haven’t danced the tango,
solved a Rubix Cube, explored how perpetual motion might fuel space exploration, or seen the World
Trade Center. And I have yet to see the person that Fernando will become.
I’ll do as much as I can from now on. Not because I have to. Because I choose to.
www.collegeessayguy.com
www.collegeessayguy.com
Home (montage)
As I enter the double doors, the smell of freshly rolled biscuits hits me almost instantly. I
trace the fan blades as they swing above me, emitting a low, repetitive hum resembling a faint
melody. After bringing our usual order, the “Tailgate Special,” to the table, my father begins
discussing the recent performance of Apple stock with my mother, myself, and my older eleven year
old sister. Bojangle’s, a Southern establishment well known for its fried chicken and reliable fast
food, is my family’s Friday night restaurant, often accompanied by trips to Eva Perry, the nearby
library. With one hand on my breaded chicken and the other on Nancy Drew: Mystery of Crocodile
Island, I can barely sit still as the thriller unfolds. They’re imprisoned! Reptiles! Not the enemy’s
boat! As I delve into the narrative with a sip of sweet tea, I feel at home.
“Five, six, seven, eight!” As I shout the counts, nineteen dancers grab and begin to
spin the tassels attached to their swords while walking heel-to-toe to the next formation of the
classical Chinese sword dance. A glance at my notebook reveals a collection of worn pages covered
with meticulously planned formations, counts, and movements. Through sharing videos of my
performances with my relatives or discovering and choreographing the nuances of certain regional
dances and their reflection on the region’s distinct culture, I deepen my relationship with my parents,
heritage, and community. When I step on stage, the hours I’ve spent choreographing, creating poses,
teaching, and polishing are all worthwhile, and the stage becomes my home.
Set temperature. Calibrate. Integrate. Analyze. Set temperature. Calibrate. Integrate.
Analyze. This pulse mimics the beating of my heart, a subtle rhythm that persists each day I come
into the lab. Whether I am working under the fume hood with platinum nanoparticles, manipulating
raw integration data, or spraying a thin platinum film over pieces of copper, it is in Lab 304 in
Hudson Hall that I first feel the distinct sensation, and I’m home. After spending several weeks
attempting to synthesize platinum nanoparticles with a diameter between 10 and 16 nm, I finally
achieve nanoparticles with a diameter of 14.6 nm after carefully monitoring the sulfuric acid bath.
That unmistakable tingling sensation dances up my arm as I scribble into my notebook: I am
overcome with a feeling of unbridled joy.
Styled in a t-shirt, shorts, and a worn, dark green lanyard, I sprint across the quad
from the elective ‘Speaking Arabic through the Rassias Method’ to ‘Knitting Nirvana’. This
afternoon is just one of many at Governor’s School East, where I have been transformed from a high
school student into a philosopher, a thinker, and an avid learner. While I attend GS at Meredith
College for Natural Science, the lessons learned and experiences gained extend far beyond physics
concepts, serial dilutions, and toxicity. I learn to trust myself to have difficult yet necessary
conversations about the political and economic climate. Governor’s School breeds a culture of
inclusivity and multidimensionality, and I am transformed from “girl who is hardworking” or
“science girl” to someone who indulges in the sciences, debates about psychology and the economy,
and loves to swing and salsa dance. As I form a slip knot and cast on, I’m at home.
My home is a dynamic and eclectic entity. Although I’ve lived in the same house in
Cary, North Carolina for 10 years, I have found and carved homes and communities that are filled
with and enriched by tradition, artists, researchers, and intellectuals. While I may not always live
within a 5 mile radius of a Bojangle’s or in close proximity to Lab 304, learning to become a more
perceptive daughter and sister, to share the beauty of my heritage, and to take risks and redefine
scientific and personal expectations will continue to impact my sense of home.
www.collegeessayguy.com
Easter (Narrative)
It was Easter and we should’ve been celebrating with our family, but my father had locked us
in the house. If he wasn’t going out, neither were my mother and I.
My mother came to the U.S. from Mexico to study English. She’d been an exceptional
student and had a bright future ahead of her. But she fell in love and eloped with the man that
eventually became my father. He loved her in an unhealthy way, and was both physically and
verbally abusive. My mother lacked the courage to start over so she stayed with him and slowly let
go of her dreams and aspirations. But she wouldn’t allow for the same to happen to me.
In the summer before my junior year I was offered a scholarship to study abroad in Egypt.
Not to my surprise, my father refused to let me go. But my mother wouldn’t let him crush my dreams
as well. I’d do this for myself and for my mothers unfulfilled aspirations. I accepted the scholarship.
I thought I’d finally have all the freedom I longed for in Egypt, but initially I didn’t. On a
weekly basis I heard insults and received harassment in the streets, yet I didn’t yield to the societal
expectations for women by staying indoors. I continued to roam throughout Egypt, exploring the
Great Pyramids of Giza , cruising on the Nile, and traveling to Luxor and Aswan. And before I
returned to the U.S. I received the unexpected opportunity to travel to London and Paris. It was
surreal: a girl from the ghetto traveling alone around the world with a map in her hands And no man
or cultural standards could dictate what I was to do. I rode the subway from Cambridge University to
the British Museum. I took a train from London to Paris and in two days I visited the Eiffel Tower,
the Louvre, Notre Dame Cathedral, and took a cruise on the Seine. Despite the language barrier I
found I had the self-confidence to approach anyone for directions.
While I was in Europe enjoying my freedom, my mother moved out and rented her own
place. It was as if we’d simultaneously gained our independence. We were proud of each other. And
she vicariously lived through my experiences as I sent her pictures and told her about my adventures.
Finally, we were free.
I currently live in the U.S with my mother. My father has gradually transformed from a frigid
man to the loving father I always yearned for. Life isn’t perfect, but for the moment I’m enjoying
tranquility and stability with my family and are communicating much better than ever before.
I’m involved in my school’s Leadership Council as leader of our events committee. We plan
and execute school dances and create effective donation letters. I see this as a stepping-stone for my
future, as I plan to double major in Women’s Studies and International Relations with a focus on
Middle Eastern studies. After the political turmoil of the Arab Spring many Middle Eastern countries
refuse to grant women equal positions in society because that would contradict Islamic texts. By
oppressing women they’re silencing half of their population. I believe these Islamic texts have been
misinterpreted throughout time, and my journey towards my own independence has inspired me to
help other women find liberation as well.
My Easter will drastically differ from past years. Rather than being locked at home, my
mother and I will celebrate outdoors our rebirth and renewal.
www.collegeessayguy.com
www.collegeessayguy.com