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GM’ S M ONTHLY M ISCELLANY :

M ARCH 2016

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Monty Donovan (order #10752678)
 GM’ S M O N T H LY M I S C E L L A N Y : M A R C H 2016
Featuring material from some of Raging Swan Press’s newest products as well as classic releases of yesteryear, advice articles and
material from Creighton’s own Borderland of Adventure campaign, the GM’s Monthly Miscellany series is a terrific free resource for the
busy, time-crunched GM.

Design: Creighton Broadhurst, Greg Marks, Christopher Wasko Product Identity: All trademarks, registered trademarks, proper
and Mike Welham names (characters, deities, artefacts, places and so on), dialogue,
Development: Creighton Broadhurst plots, storylines, language, incidents, locations, characters,
Art: William McAusland and Matt Morrow. Some artwork artwork and trade dress are product identity as defined in the
copyright William McAusland, used with permission. Open Game License version 1.0a, Section 1(e) and are not Open
Cartography: Tommi Salama Content.

Thank you for purchasing GM’s Monthly Miscellany: March Open Content: Except material designated as Product Identity,
2016; we hope you enjoy it. the contents of GM’s Monthly Miscellany: March 2016 are Open
Game Content as defined in the Open Gaming License version
If you did, please consider leaving a review. 1.0a Section 1(d). No portion of this work other than the
material designated as Open Game Content may be reproduced
If you didn’t, did you know Raging Swan Press offers a money in any form without written permission. The moral right of
back guarantee? Creighton Broadhurst, Greg Marks, Christopher Wasko and Mike
Welham to be identified as the author of this work has been
CONTENTS asserted in accordance with the Copyright Designs and Patents
Act 1988. ©Raging Swan Press 2016.
Foreword ...................................................................................... 2
House Rule: Identifying Monsters ................................................ 3 Pathfinder is a registered trademark of Paizo Inc., and the
Feyhall At A Glance ...................................................................... 4 Pathfinder Roleplaying Game and the Pathfinder Roleplaying
Prison Break: Prison Dressing ....................................................... 6 Game Compatibility Logo are trademarks of Paizo Inc., and are
Looting the Druid: Pouch Contents .............................................. 8 used under the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Compatibility
Why Character Optimisation is Pointless (Unless You Enjoy It) . 10 License. See http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/compatibility for
Support Raging Swan Press ........................................................ 11 more information on the compatibility license.
OGL V1.0A .................................................................................. 11
SOURCES Compatibility with the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game requires the
Pathfinder Roleplaying Game from Paizo Inc. See
As well as new, never seen before material from my own
http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG for more information on the
Borderland of Adventure campaign, this instalment of GM’s
Pathfinder Roleplaying Game. Paizo Inc. does not guarantee
Monthly Miscellany presents information from several Raging
compatibility, and does not endorse this product.
Swan Press products and advice articles including:

§ Campaign Events: Prison Break Christopher Wasko. To learn more about the Open Game License, visit
§ I Loot the Druid’s Body Mike Welham. wizards.com/d20.
§ Village Backdrop: Feyhall Greg Marks.

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 FOREWORD
Welcome to March 2016! This year seems to be already read some of the book. The compilation comprises all
going faster than normal. Maybe it feels that the posts I’ve made on ragingswan.com in the 20 Things line. It
way because I’m super busy or maybe it feels also includes extra, never-seen-before entries designed to fill up
that way because I’m having loads of fun! as much of the pages as possible; I hate wasted space and I
Maybe it’s both! wanted to make the book as useful as possible. If you check it
March sees the release of a compilation out, I hope you enjoy it!
book I’ve been slaving away over for about a In any event, herein you’ll find excerpts from some of Raging
year—GM’s Miscellany: 20 Things. Even more Swan’s newest products including Village Backdrop: Feyhall,
excitingly, you’ve probably Campaign Events: Prison Break and I Loot the Druid’s Body.
I’ve also included a recent article inspired by a
fascinating discussion on the Paizo forums
about how to identify monsters using
the various Knowledge skills. And
finally, I also let you into the “secret” of
why character optimisation is basically
pointless (unless you enjoy it). You can read
the articles—and scores more as well as
campaign summaries—at
creightonbroadhurst.com.
You might also be aware that Raging
Swan Press is now on Patreon. We signed up at the
start of April 2015, and it’s going rather marvellously. The thrust
of our Patreon campaign is to be able to afford better rates of
pay for our freelance game designers. As I’m sure you know, the
economics of 3PP are notoriously tight, but Patreon gives us at
Raging Swan Press a way to increase our freelancer rates. At
time of writing, we’ve already increased our word rate to 7 cents
a word, which gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. We want to
pay more, but to do that we need your help! If you sign up, you
get our supplements earlier than normal and cheaper than
normal. Even better, you can pledge what you want and cancel
when you want. If you are interested in taking a look at the
campaign, check out patreon.com/ragingswanpress or head over
to patreon.com and search for Raging Swan!
In any event, I hope you enjoy the material in this GM’s
Monthly Miscellany, but more importantly I hope you find it
useful and that it enhances your campaign. If you’ve got any
comments or questions about Raging Swan Press, I’d love to
hear from you. You can contact me at
[email protected].

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 HOUSE RULE: IDENTIFYING MONSTERS
One of my players recently sent me the link for a jolly interesting The solution suggested in the thread is both genius and
conversation on the Paizo message boards. The thread was so simple: for every 5 points by which the PC exceeds the DC
interesting—and the generally suggested “rules fix” was so required to identify the creature he can ask one question. So for
awesome—I immediately implemented it in my Borderland of example, the player could ask:
Adventure campaign as a house rule.
The thread in question discusses how GMs deal with § What overcomes the creature’s damage reduction?
Knowledge checks made by PCs to identify monsters. This is one § Does the creature have spell resistance?
of those areas in the core rules that many GMs handle § What is its most powerful special attack?
differently.
For myself, I'd like to keep these questions relatively specific.
While the basics of the rule are clearly spelled out: a PC
Here are some questions I am unlikely to answer:
learns one piece of interesting or useful knowledge about the
monster for each 5 points by which he exceeds the DC required § What are all its spell-like abilities?
to identify the beast. § What is is particularly skilled at doing?
But what information? § What attacks or energy types is it particularly vulnerable or
Sometimes the information can be less than useful. I once, immune to?
for example, played under a GM notorious for giving out
pointless information about the monster. For example, who I like this system because it rewards player skill and attention
cares about its mating rituals (or whatever) when it’s trying to and gives the player a measure of control over what information
rip your face off?! he gains. For example, a wizard plotting his next spell may care
more about the monster’s potential spell resistance than what
weapons he needs to get through its damage reduction. A rogue
or cleric will probably have different concerns.

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 FEYHALL AT A GLANCE
The calamity that caused the Sylvan Court to abandon their hold Hunger. She is known to have particular skill with divination
under the Fey-Cursed Hills is not known and now only twinkling and necromancy spells.
lights and haunting music remain; fairy magic that refuses to be Shank (location 3; CE male goblin rogue 3) Shank is a masked
goblin masquerading as a halfling. He is trying to forge the
extinguished. When the disease called the Hunger came to the
other halflings into a gang under his leadership.
Twyll River Delta, those empty halls provided a hiding place for Teesha (location 2; CN female human fighter 1/rogue 1) Teesha
rogues, bandits and those not welcome in the nearby village of claims to be an expert in lost civilizations and seems
Vaagwol. A constant threat, the Hunger animates the dead knowledgeable on digging for artefacts. She is fiercely
whether preserved in the bog, long entombed under fairy hills or protective of Sala.
recently succumbed in Feyhall hold itself.
Bandits, rogues and refugees now huddle in the eerie dark NOTABLE LOCATIONS
struggling to keep the Hunger at bay. Without the natural Most of the village comprises peasant homes. A few locations,
resources or trade of Vaagwol, the fruit of their neighbours’ however, are of interest to adventurers:
effort is all that sustains them. When their spies send word of
river barges or clay gathering expeditions, the bandits of Feyhall 1. The Hidden Gate: This is the disguised and heavily defended
attack and carry off all they can gather back to their families. entrance to the village along with attached barracks.
2. Markethall: The main cavern is the centre of village life with its
DEMOGRAPHICS two wells and storage of all raided goods. Here shares of
plunder are doled out and villagers trade with each other. Balls
Ruler Boss Stig
Government Overlord of flickering starlight dance throughout the cave to a quiet
Population 74 (47 humans, 6 dwarves, 2 elves, 4 half-elves, 11 haunting melody that changes for unknown reasons.
half-orcs, 3 halflings, 1 goblin) 3. The Hideaways: A cavern with many twists, turns and
Alignments CN, CG, CE meandering niches used by many of the villagers as "homes."
Languages Common, Sylvan The Hideaways is mostly populated by the weak, poor and sick.
Corruption +0; Crime -3; Economy -7; Law -6; Lore +0; Society -9 4. The Altars: This two-storey hall has dozens of shrines with
Qualities Eldritch, notorious
plain altars on two different floors which have been converted
Danger +43; Disadvantages Hunted, plagued, wild magic zone
into living spaces. In contrast to the Hideaways, the Altars are
NOTABLE FOLK populated by the strongest members of Feyhall.
5. The Forbidden Stair: Ornate, and disturbing, silver doors block
Most of the population are nothing more than hardworking
access to stairs leading down to the Wytchlyte Graves.
peasants. A few, however, are of interest to adventurers:
6. Wytchelyte Graves: An unmapped maze filled with cairns,
Boss Stig (location 4; CN male half-orc fighter 3) Stig is a bully burial niches, strange curios and death.
not especially concerned with running the settlement, but 7. Solnicht Bog: Home to peat, centuries of battlefields and the
instead enjoys raids on merchant caravans, river barges or many walled town of Vaagwol on the Twyll River Delta; a ready
workers from nearby Vaagwol. If his position is questioned, target for Feyhall's raiders.
he is more than willing to defend it with axe or fist. 8. Fey-Cursed Hills: Once the home of the Sylvan Court, the hills
Luthar Shieldamann (location 2; CG male human ranger 2)
hide ruins of former fey settlements including Feyhall.
Luthar is a dark, bearded man from a distant land of which
he will not speak. While Stig greedily watches outside, Luthar
looks within, searching for signs of the Hunger, strange fairy MARKETPLACE
magic or simply keeping track of what supplies the villagers Resources & Industry Fairy curios, stolen goods
need to last another day. If there is a problem, the locals are Base Value 450 gp; Purchase Limit 3,750 gp; Spellcasting 1st
more likely to approach him than Stig. (3rd for Divination and Necromancy); Minor Items 2d4;
Nin (location 3; N female human expert 1) Nin is a former Medium Items 1d4; Major Items –
dockworker from Vaagwol infected with the Hunger.
Oosa (location 1; NE female human fighter 2) Oosa is one of the When the PCs arrive in Feyhall, the following items are for sale:
gate guards and a frequent member of raiding teams. She
despises Boss Stig and wants to overthrow him. § Potions & Oils elixir of vision (250 gp), cure light wounds (50
Sala Greenswidow (location 2; N female half-elf adept 1) Sala gp)
and her love Teesha are new arrivals in Feyhall. Sala is quiet § Scrolls (Arcane) identify (25 gp), see invisibility (150 gp)
and sickly and claims to have visions directing her to seek a
§ Scroll (Divine) lesser restoration (150 gp)
fairy crown beneath the Fey-Cursed Hills that can cure the

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 VILLAGE LORE Nomenclature male Hindrik, Ove, Rasmus; female Hebbla,
Igna, Nathalie; family Ahlgren, Forstlund, Lindqvist, Westermark.
A PC making a Knowledge (geography) or Knowledge (local)
check may know some information about Feyhall. A successful
WHISPERS & RUMOURS
check gains all the information revealed by a lesser result.
DC 10: Feyhall is a sanctuary hidden from the hungry dead A PC can use Diplomacy to gather information about Feyhall and
somewhere in the Fey-Cursed Hills. It is a place with no laws its surroundings. This takes 1d4 hours and requires a DC 10
where only the strong prosper. check. A PC exceeding this check gains one additional rumour for
DC 15: The people of Feyhall survive by raiding neighbouring each 5 points by which he exceeded DC 10. Use the table below
Vaagwol and the trade flowing to that heavily walled village. to determine which rumour(s) the PC learns.
Their only natural resources are strange weapons or devices of
D6 RUMOUR
fairy construction sometimes found deep under the hold.
Vaagwol has a spy in Feyhall and it is only a matter of
DC 20: The lights and music of Feyhall are magic of the 1*
time before their soldiers come.
former fey occupants. Something stalks the residents and many Someone is purposefully opening the Forbidden Stair
just disappear, while others go mad. 2
gate.
Boss Stig contracted the Hunger on his last raid. He will
VILLAGERS 3* soon die, no doubt touching off a power struggle to
replace him.
Appearance The people of Feyhall are similar to those of
4* Sala knows a way to ward against the wytchlytes.
Vaagwol and frequently have dark hair and dark eyes, though
The halflings are stealing and hiding supplies in the
red hair is not uncommon. Hairstyles are often long and wild. 5
Hideaways.
Dress Fashion tends to be made up of whatever the Tesha and Sala are planning on sneaking into the
6
residents can scavenge or steal, and is frequently worn until it Wytchlyte Graves in search of powerful magical artefacts.
falls apart. It is not unusual for residents to have a piece of fairy- *False rumour
made jewellery or some scrap of shiny cloth as a good luck
charm.

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 PRISON BREAK: PRISON DRESSING
Use this table, to generate minor points of dressing for the Grooves crudely chiselled into the wall at regular
23
prison break. Ignore inappropriate results and simply re-roll. intervals, form the start of a makeshift ladder.
Shards of arrow shafts and bits of fletching litter
D% 24 the ground near the main gate. The nearby stone
Rust corrodes the door hinges, causing a brittle and soil seem darker than the rest.
1 A diagram of the prison hangs from the wall,
shriek when the door opens and closes.
2 Tally marks are chipped into a cell’s corner wall. 25 with certain guard posts labelled with coloured
Manacles dangle from the wall, their ridges pins.
3 A smudged, crumpled letter from a family
darkened with dried blood. 26
A sconce stands empty, the wall smeared with member sits carefully folded beside a cell cot.
4 A human-sized wooden rack stands atop four
ash near where the torch previously burned. 27
A dented tin tray with an overturned bowl lies winches wound with ropes.
5 near a cell door. Any food it may have contained A hand-sized spider sits motionless inside a
has been picked clean. 28 tangled web in a cell’s upper corner. Desiccated
A dull buzz emanates from a small cloud of mice dangle from the strands.
6 insects, which swarm around a pool of tepid A tiny drawstring pouch hangs underneath a cell
29
water at the end of the corridor. cot, bound by a strand of fabric.
Tattered parchments with charcoal sketches of A battered, nearly empty oil lamp casts a feeble
30
7 morose faces lie scattered across a table. light in a hallway corner.
Beneath each face is a six-digit number. One of the barred windows makes a dull
31
Two tarnished chains suspend the ends of a cell whistling sound when the wind is up.
8 cot. One of the links has split, threatening to A relatively intact book with dog-eared pages sits
32
drop its end to the floor. atop one of the few cell cots with a mattress.
Tiny mice scurry through the corridors, escaping A trail of blood dots the floor from one cell
9 33
into narrow holes in the walls and floors. through the halls to the outer door.
A fire pit smoulders in the centre of the room, its A jagged hole the size and depth of a fist
10 34
fumes rank from the dung used for fuel. blemishes an otherwise smooth wall.
A dusty ring encircles the inner courtyard, with A tray of spoiled food lies just outside a cell,
11 35
hundreds of footprints stamped into the soil. untouched.
12 A large fire blazes, illuminating the whole area. An archery range for the guards lines the inside
Greasy fingerprints stain a cell’s otherwise 36 of an outer wall. Certain prisoners’ names are
13 scratched onto the target dummies’ torsos.
polished iron bars.
A door opens into a vast pit, illuminated only by One outer tower screams with the racket of
37
14 a fist-sized opening in the far wall near the hawks, ravens and pigeons.
ceiling. A rolled-up rope ladder lies nearby. One cell contains a crooked wooden crutch,
38
Coils of hemp rope and piles of dirty burlap sacks which leans against one of the cots.
15 stand atop a long oak table. Some of the ropes A cast iron branding rod hangs from a rack
have nooses at their ends. beside a fireplace. The tool itself has six square
39
A barely-perceptible crack runs along the entire slots, which can be filled with interchangeable
16 perimeter of one brick in a cell wall. The stone pieces bearing inverted numbers.
juts out just enough to be gripped and removed. A massive ledger sits atop an administrative
Scraps of burlap lie stacked beneath a cell cot, 40 desk. It contains a grid with hundreds of
17 each bearing hastily scrawled memos written numbers, names and brief descriptions.
with different improvised inks. 41 An empty iron flask lies on the floor.
One cell has a faded wool blanket, its edges A layer of dried mud fills the hallway, its surface
18 42
frayed and its centre ripped. dotted with footprints.
A dirty iron grate, partially clogged with grime, A chicken leg bone, sharpened at one end, lies in
19 43
covers a drain in the middle of the hallway. a corner. Its tip drips with fresh blood.
Profane symbols cover the walls at major A broken key lies discarded near an empty cell;
44
20 intersections. There is evidence of trying to scrub its other half sticks out from the cell’s keyhole.
them off, but the images remain. 45 A used bandage lies in tatters beneath a cell cot.
Fistfuls of hair, spatters of blood and a stray One hallway has some flooding, causing even the
21 46
tooth litter the floor. softest footsteps to splash along its length.
Wooden stocks stand in a row, their neck and A tin bowl holds a concoction of lard, oatmeal
22 47
wrist grooves stained with sweat and blood. and water as well as a bent metal spoon.

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 The crudely spelled names of prisoners are A tiny drawstring pouch carefully hidden in a cell
48 77
etched into a cell wall. cot contains a handful of battered silver coins.
One cell contains a piece of inmate art, with An unconscious inmate lies on the floor, his face
78
49 three colours creating a crude landscape image coloured with bruises, split lips and swollen eyes.
on a ragged canvas hung from the wall. A stray fallen brick drips with fresh blood, a
79
A mound of horse droppings lies in a steaming crimson stain around where it had been held.
50
pile in the courtyard. A crowbar, a spade and a handmade stabbing
80
51 The area reeks of sweat and body odour. weapon lie atop a table in the guards’ office.
A torn uniform lies discarded in the hallway, the A tin tankard lies at the foot of a mess hall table,
52
back ripped open along bloodied seams. 81 its side completely bent in as thought it were
A small clay statue of a saint or deity sits atop a smashed against a dense object.
53
shelf overlooking a cell cot. A dead rat lies at the foot of an outer wall, an
82
A steel alarm bell hangs from a cord near a door, arrow shaft sprouting from its side.
54
its pull string dangling beside it. Several thumb-sized centipedes crawl along a
Crude syringes and wells of black ink line a shelf 83 cell wall with startling speed before disappearing
55
in one cell. into a crack in the mortar.
A single shoe, muddied and worn to the point of Tiny shards of glass litter the ground in a small
56 84
uselessness, sits beside a cell door. section of the courtyard.
A deep crack runs the length of a hallway floor, Splintered wooden beams clutter the hall near a
57 85
making the ground slightly uneven. battered door.
A ball of hair lies in a gnarled bundle at the foot This door’s latch is completely rusted, rendering
58
of the wall. 86 it inoperable and the door permanently locked.
59 A metal mouthorgan sits on a prisoner’s cot. The sound of scratching comes from beyond…
Misshapen dice and an incomplete deck of Wooden trapdoors in the floor open into small
60 87
playing cards lie scattered across a table. oubliettes with barely enough room to stand.
Tips of chewed fingernails litter the floor outside Metal sarcophagi with tiny holes perforating
61
one cell. 88 their exteriors line the walls of this room. Large
62 A small blot of chewed tobacco stains the floor. padlocks hold them shut.
One cell’s walls are covered with carefully etched One stone juts out of a corridor wall, posing a
63 89
carvings of linear shapes and patterns. painful risk to the unaware.
A jagged gash scars a hallway wall, as though A slick slime oozes slowly down the walls of the
64 90
someone scraped a dagger along its length. underground chambers.
65 A coil of chain binds the door latch of one cell. A hunk of rock-hard stale bread lies just out of
91
66 Tendrils of ivy cover the walls like veins. reach outside one cell’s barred door.
A beam of light outlined in the dusty air peeks Several detailed codices containing prisoner
67 92 names numbers, cell numbers and death dates
through a small hole in the ceiling.
The smell of wet earth, blood and urine fill a bookshelf.
68 A row of manacles hang fastened to the outer
permeates the entryway. 93
One of the stairway steps has collapsed in on wall, right over a strip of cold, muddy earth.
69 itself, leaving an awkward gap between the two A dozen shallow graves lie empty in the
adjacent steps. 94 courtyard, with spades sticking out of the
Boards cover an opening in one outer tower, adjacent mounds of soil.
70 A wooden rack holds metal apparatuses
creating a potential blind spot.
The rim of a cauldron peeks between the resembling unwieldy helmets with restrictive
95
71 exterior parapets. A wisp of steam rises from mouthpieces. An iron ring with clasp connects
within it. the device to a steel neck brace.
A slab of what might pass for meat sticks in a A poster outlining several prison rules decorates
72 96
splattered mass to a wall in the mess hall. the door to the mess hall.
One extended room holds long chains with A single pump well provides water in the mess
73 97
multiple sets of manacles along their lengths. hall, spitting out dirty water when pumped.
A black fly the size of a grape buzzes lazily A filthy kennel stands fenced off at the rear of
74 98
between cells. the central prison complex.
A bag of bundled sheets and refuse hangs from a A row of wooden pegs adorns the walls; some
75 99
cell ceiling, like a homemade punching bag. pegs hold damp, muddied cloaks.
An empty burlap sack with a tattered drawstring The broken handle of a sundered sap lies on the
100
76 lies discarded to one side. The inside is flecked common area floor.
with hair and sweat.

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 LOOTING THE DRUID: POUCH CONTENTS
Beyond their wealth, druids often carry strange odds and ends To get to the pouch’s contents, one must avoid
as well as minor pieces of small equipment in their pouches. Use 25 the stingers of the live black scorpions, each no
this table, to generate such items. bigger than a thumb, inside the pouch.
26 Dirt and roots cake this trowel.
D% Tufts of fur cling to the rope making up this
27
1 Death’s head moths flutter listlessly in this jar. simple snare trap.
Dark green spots cover this potato that has A bag of black seeds contains a slip of paper
2 28
sprouted five-inch-long roots. stating, “Warning, experimental blend.”
Upon opening the pouch, the stink of rotten eggs 29 Living ivy clings to everything in the pouch.
permeates the air; a pair of stuck together Spores spray from this wide-capped, sickly green
3 30
greenish things that could have once been called mushroom, the first time someone touches it.
eggs are the apparent source. This deep black—to the point of absorbing
This vial, labelled “defoliant,” holds a yellow 31 ambient light—tar ball is extremely sticky,
4 leaving residue on anyone who handles it.
liquid. A pungent smell escapes the closed vial.
Tailless rats glare with demonically red eyes at The spikes on this dog collar point outward and
5 32
the intrusion, when the pouch is opened. inward; blood tips the inward spikes.
This pale moonstone glows when exposed to the These fossils of all descriptions come from a
6 33
light of a full moon. variety of flora and fauna.
This delicious green apple has a fat worm This collection of dandelions has seeded; the
7 34
wriggling around in it. seeds float away in the slightest breeze.
The honey dripping from this honeycomb smells This tuft of hair from a silverback gorilla seems to
8 35
bitter. have been carefully shaved from the beast.
This trio of oddly shaped, purple-blotched bird A chart shows the dates of all the new moons
9 and full moons within the past year and for the
eggs show cracks as if they are about to hatch. 36
To the knowledgeable observer these shiny black upcoming eighteen months. Two of the past
10 dates for full moons are circled in red.
berries are actually belladonna.
This severed frog leg twitches as if propelling its 37 This giant red feather radiates heat.
11 Two hollowed-out coconut halves do not match
former owner in the air. 38
Live spiders scurry out of the pouch, when it is up in colouration or shape.
12 A gold-plated bird cage holds three skeletons of
opened. 39
A skunk puppet made from the cured hide of a songbirds, each gripping a perch.
13 skunk and preserved skull; rough onyxes rest in A small metal shard sits in a cup filled with
40
its eye sockets, and its musk gland is still intact. water; the shard points vaguely north.
All but the index finger of this withered The source of the awful odour upon opening the
14 41
monkey’s paw are curled tightly into its palm pouch appears to be rotting cabbage leaves.
15 A packet of kibble, labelled “for death dog.” A patch of fungus glows with a soft, blue light
42
A fresh clump of red clay has stained everything after it has been exposed to sunlight.
16 The fern-like leaves and the white flowers of this
else in the pouch. 43
Fangs of increasing length pierce this foot-long plant betray its identity: hemlock.
17 A variety of colourful butterflies are pinned to a
swath of silk, at regular intervals.
A jar contains a pair of bull’s testicles in a 44 thin wooden board; some of them seem to
18 flutter of their own accord.
preserving solution.
19 Steam rises from this lump of still cooling lava. This vermillion flower sprays pollen in a five-foot
45
radius, when touched.
This mould-covered ball sends out tiny feelers
20 Termites numbering in the hundreds crawl on
when someone touches it. 46
these chunks of wood.
A smooth, flat white pebble sits among a pile of
21 A small glass cube perforated with miniscule
dull, grey pebbles in this pouch. 47
holes houses a living ant colony.
This small pile of drying dung attracts flies, as
22 A large, purple mushroom emits an ear-piercing
soon as the pouch is opened. 48
shriek, after the pouch is opened.
A note accompanying this brilliant blue egg reads
23 Black wrapping paper and a blood-red ribbon
“last of its species.”
49 tied in a bow cover this box; inside is a still-
This small notebook contains notes on various
beating heart.
24 trees with poisonous leaves, along with perfectly
preserved leaves from the described trees. Every third sound from this duck call is that of a
50
duck dying mid-quack.

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 This rusted dagger crumbles into a cloud of rust This block of charcoal seems mundane in
51 78
the moment someone touches it. comparison to the rest of the pouch’s contents.
Apparently the diary of a young child, many This hollowed-out reed allows one to breathe
79
52 entries decry the fact his or her parents would while underwater.
not buy a puppy for the child. This wooden whistle makes no audible sound
Knitting needles protrude from a partially 80 when blown, but dogs start baying shortly
53
completed scarf. thereafter.
54 This sticky tongue is five-foot long. Ears from various herd animals have tags
81
A woodcarving of a horse with flames jetting identifying the animal belonging to the ear.
55 from its hooves only has the hindquarters and A star chart is annotated with scrawled words
82
one fore hoof completed. reading “the time is nigh.”
This four-inch-diameter mud sphere has a hole 83 The clapper is missing from this brass cowbell.
56 at the bottom; a hornet emerges from the hole A chart shows a line of succession to the arch-
when someone disturbs the sphere. 84 druid of the region; half the names are crossed
A plant sprig sits in a dirt-filled pot; it moves to off.
57
“look” at anyone who speaks. This severed rattle from a rattlesnake shakes
85
A cloud of gnats springs forth from the pouch, when someone opens the pouch.
58
when it is opened. This gland from a fire beetle is warm to the
86
This book composed of different fish scales touch.
59
contains no writing. These dried purple berries fizz, when eaten or
87
This starfish is missing one of its limbs, but it placed in liquid.
60
appears the limb is starting to regrow. This bundle of kindling rapidly sets fire to
The species of butterfly or moth that will emerge 88 anything it touches, even damp material, when
61
from this pair of purple cocoons is unknown. lit.
Lightning struck this piece of driftwood; it also Numerous teeth marks measuring at least four
62 89
bears a blackened lightning bolt sigil. inches in depth pierce this grapefruit-sized ball.
63 The blood tipping this peacock feather is recent. Rotten grain catches on the wind and makes
90
A pair of salamander’s eyes float in the noxious black marks on any plant it touches.
64
liquid filling this jar made of green glass. Opening this vial labelled “deer urine” unleashes
91
Several twigs tied together with twine are a horrific smell.
65
fashioned into a vaguely human figure. This leering, mechanical monkey crashing
92
66 Vines of poison ivy line the inside of the pouch. cymbals together seems eerily realistic.
The owner of these stones carved them so they This otherwise empty tortoise shell holds
93
67 have sharp spikes; they would make passable unhatched tortoise eggs.
caltrops. Ants crawl on this half-eaten leg from a fowl of
94
Two packets of nearly identical mushrooms had some description.
68 labels which have since fallen off; one reads This rare orchid begins to wither when removed
95
“delicious” and the other reads “deadly poison.” from the pouch.
The pouch holds a surprising amount of sheep’s This length of thorn-covered vine is coiled up like
69 96
wool, enough to make a human-sized sweater. a whip.
The vibrant purple flowers on this plant mark it This magnifying glass doubles the size of objects
70
as wolfsbane. viewed through it. A piece of paper wrapped
97
Live centipedes crawl out of the pouch, just after around the handle describes the optimal height
71
it is opened. to hold the glass to properly burn ants.
When someone grabs this wooden divining rod, 98 Briny water fills this small watering can.
72
it points to the nearest source of water. Considering the other items in the pouch, this
This praying mantis head, complete with 99 cheese wheel is surprisingly well-preserved and
73
mandibles, is the size of a cat’s head. tastes delicious.
When placed in a liquid, this spoon cools or Dozens of dried locust husks fill this pouch;
74 100
warms it based on the holder’s desires. strange patterns decorate several of them.
These fuzzy white balls are actually severed
75
cottontails.
Most of the fireflies in this jar have perished;
76
none illuminate.
A dozen blind mole rats shriek in unison, when
77
light shines on them.

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

 WHY CHARACTER OPTIMISATION IS POINTLESS (UNLESS YOU ENJOY IT)
I’ve been running my Borderland of Adventure campaign—in However, if you are the kind of person who optimises purely
one form or another—for over four years now. In that time, I’ve to win I can “sensationally" reveal you aren't really increasing
come to a—possibly controversial—conclusion: character your chances of victory. If the GM is paying attention and
optimisation is basically pointless. matching the challenges your group faces to its abilities (like a
Before you flame me, let me explain. Flame me at the end good GM should) you aren’t achieving anything. You are just
(in the comments). rolling more dice, or adding better numbers to your die roll. Your
A normal optimisation cycle goes something like this: chance of victory essentially stays the same.
So I’m here to tell you not to bother (unless you want to).
§ A player optimises his character to be particularly good at Just relax, have fun and trust your GM to provide
something. This could be his physical attacks appropriate challenges for your PC and group. (And if you
(melee or ranged), his defences (normally armour don’t trust your GM, why are you playing with him?)
class), the power of his spells or something else The downside of optimisation (for me) is that it
such as a certain skill. Even taking into account takes more time and money. I’ve got to buy and read
his level, in whatever he chooses to more books and experiment with more character
specialise, this character is epic. He rules. builds.
§ The character begins adventuring, and This
crushes or defeats everything standing takes time I
before him. could spend
§ The GM notices this. The GM wants to developing a
challenge his players and so he adds in background and
harder monsters, opponents or personality for my
challenges to defeat than normal for character, plotting his
the character’s level. He’s not trying to hopes and dreams and
kill the characters, just challenge generally creating a
them. more rounded
§ The player (or players) notice the individual.
adventures are getting harder and
tweak or optimise their characters to be THE “LIVING”
even better at the thing or things they
are already awesome at.
EXCEPTION
§ The GM noticed this. The GM My comments above apply purely to
wants to challenge his players and home games. In Living-style events—
so he adds in harder monsters, where the GM has no control over
opponents or challenges to the adventure’s contents—
defeat. than normal for the character’s optimisation is a viable strategy.
level. He’s not trying to kill the characters,
just challenge them.
§ Repeat steps 4-5 until someone gives up.

Of course, that’s a pretty simplified view

of optimisation, but it’s basically
accurate.
Now if you are the kind of person
who likes tinkering with rules,
coming up with new power combos
and so on—all power to you. Feel
free to ignore my opinion. Have
fun, enjoy.

10

Monty Donovan (order #10752678)

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Monty Donovan (order #10752678)