Advantages to Healthy Relationships

By: Nox
.

Connections are formed everywhere in the world, some are friendships and others are with a

loving spouse or a supporting family member. All around the world people hold different values

and care for different people. As human beings, we desire connections formed with other

people. It is what makes us unique when compared with other species, many do not need the

constant companionship that we do to stay content. In saying this there are also many different

forms of relationships, some are untroubled yet others, unfortunately, can be unpleasant. The

type of relationships generally favoured are healthy relationships. With so many different types

of relationships and interests, it's important to understand why healthy relationships are most

beneficial. As well as how a pleasant relationship can affect you both mentally, physically, and

even how you choose to optimize your time.

Having a purpose in this life and a sense of belonging helps us to be carefree and feel

stable. These feelings often develop from a connection between two individuals. These

relationships that form differ from person to person and can affect their mentality differently as

well. When we have someone that allows us to lean on them in times of need we develop trust

and a foundation for something more blossoms. It allows us to feel supported and causes us to

experience less psychological and emotional pain. Our serotonin levels increase and this allows

us to be content and enables us to live longer. As shown in a Harvard study it is said that “close

relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” It

could be seen during this study when Robert Waldinger, a speaker for the study explained how

those who are in relationships into their old age feel less pain and instead feel more happiness.

I quote “Loneliness kills. It's as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.” This relates to my previous

statement that humans rely on interconnections and it creates contentment. Yet without a

relationship, loneliness becomes addictive and causes you harm mentally. Similarly, as many
people know, in healthy families and friendships when we have the reinforcement of even one

person we feel like we can take on the world. This is seen in the classic Disney movie

Cinderella. At the start of the film, Cinderella believed since the passing of her father, that no

one cherished her anymore and that she would never be able to go to the ball. But the moment

that her fairy godmother appeared and expressed her voluntary support in her dream she

became overjoyed. This drastic change in Cinderellas’ mood was because she felt supported in

her long wished upon desire and therefore her confidence developed. Not only this but her

character was well known for her kindness and her unconditional understanding of others. It

could be said that this was because she had compassion.

Therefore upon reading about Cinderella and her compassion for others it may become

clear that an outlook on life is as important as putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

Understanding other people, even someone you've known for years isn't ever going to get

easier, it is taking a picture and expanding it to view the full portrait. Contrary to this, when you

begin a relationship it can often feel like you're trying to view the entire scenario when it's all in

front of you already. It toys with the brain like a cat with a ball of yarn, scratching and biting,

seeming violent; but in the end, you're hopefully left satisfied and content with the outcome. One

must look past all the scars, stares and weaknesses and instead see the person you want to

connect with. Who is a person that possesses talents and skills, but also has imperfections and

has made mistakes like everyone else. Knowing this allows you to feel that you have someone

you can trust, respect, as well as openly communicate with. Having these feelings creates an

understanding and you become vulnerable to the person you're choosing to have a relationship

with. It doesn't matter the type but rather how you're expressing these feelings and sharing

them. When you do this it opens you up to fresh opportunities, for there are always two sides to

every story. We are always going to lack a portion of a story told by someone unless we can be

honest with one another and reveal the whole story. So by taking the time to listen to both sides

of a person’s story we gain an idea of what the full picture is. Yet opening up to someone can be
hard based on past experiences, yet to further develop a flourishing relationship it is necessary.

An amazing example is seniors, many of whom have been in strong relationships for multiple

years, some even until they part for the afterlife. My grandparents, for instance, have been

together since early adulthood. Making memories that we will never understand until we too

have experienced these same feelings of deep connection. The reason my grandparents, and

other elders like them, can continue in their relationships is because of five key factors that they

possess - trust, communication, respect, honesty, and putting an effort into the relationship.

When you read these words I hope it begins to form an image as to what a thriving relationship

truly feels like and how it will affect your emotional, psychological, and even physical health.

What does it mean to be able to talk to someone face to face? To understand another

human so well all they would need to do is look at you the right way for you to understand them.

To walk into a room and immediately feel happiness upon seeing this person. The above are all

physical aspects of a strong and healthy relationship. Caring for someone beyond yourself is

what makes you benevolent. However, not every relationship you come across will be the same.

Some connections share nothing more than a hug whereas others share much more intimate

moments. It’s about feeling safe to talk about anything and being able to express your feelings,

without fear of consequences. These differences are what make relationships so dissimilar as

well as their experiences, it's always unique for each person.

On the topic of different experiences, reaching middle school was a huge step in growing

up and meeting new people. Yet we feared being wrong when we raised our hands in our seats

for fear of the judgement that lay beyond the classroom thus limiting how well we communicated

with people. But there was always someone brave enough to take the initial step in building a

community within a class by raising their hand. Correspondingly, being this type of person in a

relationship is difficult as well, but is necessary to begin the formation of a bond. You have to be

willing to devote a decent amount of effort. There is no give and take on both sides to need to

give one hundred percent. Homogenous to this taking time to get to know one another and
turning off our devices is another essential step. It's putting away a distraction to form a

connection with someone diverse. In the same way that verbally expressing that you care about

a fellow human being is a sign to show how you appreciate them. For example, letting them

know that you will listen to them in their times of need allows a person to feel understood and

treasured. It shows that you prioritize their feelings and care to listen to things others may not

have. Have you ever experienced a time where you were talked over by someone you cared

for? I have, and it is a grim feeling knowing they will not take notice of the words I wish to say.

You often feel like what you're saying doesn't matter and that they don't care enough to listen to

your thoughts and feelings. This can break down a bond over time and thus leads many

relationships to end. Communication and expression within a relationship are what builds an

invaluable connection. It creates memories and offers laughter in times of sadness. Yet there

are forms of communication that can break down a bond and can result in violence.

This type of communication is known as arguing yet it is a part of any relationship. There

is not one human in the universe who can say they've never disagreed with someone else's

viewpoint, due to everyone having contrasting viewpoints on topics. This is one of the elements

that make our society so peculiar. For example, when you look at the political parties of Canada

and the promises they make to the public you notice the different viewpoints they all hold. Each

has different values and has unique beliefs and the same can be said for relationships. To come

to an agreement you must first look at both sides of the disagreement. Sharing why you feel a

certain way about a topic, can offer a resolution to this common occurrence. Whether it's calling

someone, going on a date, or just making memories, physically being there over time plays a

key role in what we can do. Devoting time to someone shows you care and helps further

develop this relationship in a positive way. As we know It isn't how much time we give but rather

what we do with that time.

Time in itself is an essence of life that we will never fully understand. This is why we as

humans value this idea of life that can end at any moment without notice. Nevertheless, we are
given the choice to choose whom we devote this time to whether it's ourselves or someone

else. We choose to get to know a person and must put an effort into making time to do so. If not,

resentment may develop because the other will feel as if they are being neglected or are alone

in their life, this is why set in stone plans are important to most people. It builds reassurance and

shows you cared enough to make a plan with their wellbeing in mind. Giving someone your time

shouldn't feel like a sacrifice, it should be something you're willing to do to make someone else

happy. Henceforth, in any relationship making time to talk, to enjoy activities together, and to

connect physically is what the structure of a successful relationship contains. By saying this I

mean you don't become friends instantly and the same can be said for couples. It takes effort

and time to build a secure bond. At first, you begin as acquaintances, then it grows into friends,

and if it's what you desire it turns out to be a loving relationship of mutual respect. For example,

the first time I met my best friend was in grade six, we didn't hang out again until grade nine and

it wasn't until then that we became closer. This relationship advanced because we were able to

begin to hang out without worrying about school and what others thought. Beforehand, although

we would talk we never hung out or gave the time to think about each other, it's why it never

amounted to anything more in the past. But now that we're growing up and have more time we

can support each other and try to hang out as often as possible, to continue to build our

friendship. This friendship can be developed into something more including viewing them as

family with time.

Showing that the people you cherish can be considered your family. Sometimes it's the

family you are born into and occasionally it's the ones you create for yourself. Regardless of

how you've come to know this family, it has helped develop you as a person. Discussing topics

with them merely to spend time with them and coming to the realization that there is only a

limited amount of time that you have with these people is as important as the moon and the sun.

We would be lonely without them whether we choose to acknowledge that fact or not.

Regardless, creating time to visit and learn about our heritage shows that we care about our
history and others. Not because we have to but because we are choosing to listen to each other

and spend time with one another. Although devoting time is important, a relationship has two

meanings. Both of the people involved must put a decent amount of effort into it. Seeing your

spouse play with your siblings or discussing an important topic with your parents is exactly what

I mean by this. The other side of any relationship's job is to put in the same effort the other

person is, which includes listening to each other and spending time with one another. Think of it

like baking a cake. You have dry and wet ingredients and cannot make a whole cake without

both. It is the same with people and time. We cannot expect time to cooperate if we are

unwilling to give our efforts to it. This brings the conclusion that “it's not about having the time,

it's about making time” for the ones we love and care about. Otherwise, we are unable to

sustain ourselves and the relationships we choose to have.

To love someone means to show a sign of trust. It's giving yourself to someone whether

it's in a friendship or with a romantic lover. Sometimes it's even family, but a healthy relationship

with anyone takes effort and time. There isn't a loophole to this theory towards healthy

relationships, it's inevitable. If you as a person cannot do these things then there is no

relationship meant for you to be a part of. Yet you must be more than willing to accept people's

faults as well as your own but also know the right time to applaud and celebrate someone's

success. Human beings make mistakes. It's a part of life, but with the proper knowledge, we can

avoid unnecessary conflict and look past others' errors, thus allowing a relationship to blossom.

Finally, I hope you take away from this piece that in a healthy relationship you must be willing to

devote your time to the person you're with, and know that the actions occurring in a relationship

can affect you both mentally and physically.