THE BIG IDEAS You Can Heal Your Life

Approve of Yourself
The International Bestseller—More Than 30 Million Copies Sold
EXACTLY as you are! BY LOUISE L. HAY · HAY HOUSE © 1984 · 253 PAGES

Should --> Could

Amazing shift.

Mirror, Mirror
On the wall. “Good health begins with loving the self. So do prosperity and love and creative
self-expressions.”
Our Mental House
Time for a good cleaning. ~ Louise L. Hay from You Can Heal Your Life
Seeing Yourself
I like Louise Hay. And, I’m not alone. Over 30 (!!!) million people have purchased her classic
As a child.
book, You Can Heal Your Life, and I don’t know how many tens of millions of others have been
Walking and Talking
inspired and empowered by the incredible books published by Hay House, the publishing house
And learning.
she founded. What an incredible woman.
Blaming & Power
Drop one get the other. And, there’s a reason so many peeps have read this book. It rocks. Focused on the fact that all
Love Your Bills dis-ease can be traced to us not loving ourselves enough and packed with all kinds of Big Ideas
Celebrate ‘em! on how to get our self-love on, the book also has a sweet section that outlines the emotional
Our Souls disturbance/thought patterns tied to ALL KINDS of physical ailments. It’s incredibly spot on. :)
Let’s not shrivel ‘em.
You’ll have to get the book for all that mojo. For now, let’s take a quick peek at a handful of my
Put Your Awareness favorite Big Ideas. :)
Into practice.

APPROVE OF YOURSELF EXACTLY AS YOU ARE

“When people come to me with a problem, I don’t care what it is—poor health, lack of money,
unfulfilling relationships, or stifled creativity, there is only one thing I ever work on, and that is
LOVING THE SELF.
“Self-approval and self-
I find that as we really love and accept and APPROVE OF OURSELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE,
acceptance in the now are then everything in life works. It’s as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves, we
the main keys to positive attract more money, our relationships become much more fulfilling, and we begin to express
changes in every area of ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways. All this seems to happen without even trying.”
our lives.”
The book is essentially one big string of Ideas on how we can go about loving ourselves and
~ Louise L. Hay removing the dis-ease that’s created when we don’t!

Step #1: As Louise says, we need to (yes, all caps!):

—> “APPROVE OF OURSELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE.”

What’s one thing that you currently aren’t approving of in yourself? (We ALL have at least a
handful of things if we’re honest! :)

Alright. You got that one thing? Sweet.

Now, imagine being totally cool with it. Totally approving and accepting it.

How does that feel? If you’re like me, there’s a definite release of tension the moment I approved
of and accepted that aspect of myself. REALLY powerful stuff.

Try it out. And, then add another aspect of yourself you approve of… and another… and… watch
the tension dissolve and the miracle of you flow through your life. :)

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 “Loving the self, to me, SHOULD—> COULD
begins with never criticizing
“I believe that should is one of the most damaging words in our language. Every time we use
ourselves for anything.
should, we are, in effect, saying ‘wrong.’ Either we are wrong or we were wrong or we are going
Criticism locks us into the to be wrong. I don’t think we need more wrongs in our life. We need to have more freedom
very pattern we are trying to of choice. I would like to take the word should and remove it from the vocabulary forever. I’d
change. Understanding and replace it with the word could. Could gives us a choice, and we are never wrong.”
being gentle with ourselves
This is one of the all-time greatest Big Ideas. Seriously.
helps us to move out of
it. Remember, you have been Should, should, should, should.

criticizing yourself for Tony Robbins (see Notes) says: “Quit shoulding all over yourself!!!” :)
years, and it hasn’t worked.
So, uh, are you shoulding all over yourself?!?
Try approving of yourself
and see what happens.” Well, stop! You’re stinking up the place. :)

~ Louise L. Hay Seriously, though.

Try playing a game with yourself. See if you can start to notice every time you use the word
“should.” And then swap it out for “could” and feel the difference between the two. Should’s a
downer. ALWAYS. Could, as Louise says, offers choice. In that freedom to choose is our power.

Louise offers this exercise in the book. Complete 5 sentences that start with “I SHOULD.”
1. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
“The words we speak are
2. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
indicative of our inner
3. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
thoughts.”
4. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.
~ Louise L. Hay 5. I SHOULD ______________________________________________________.

Alright. Now, read each one and ask: “Why?”

Now, take those five sentences and start ‘em with: “If I really wanted to I could ___________

_________________________________________________________________.”
“The most powerful way to
do affirmations is to look in
the mirror and say them out Big shift in energy, eh? You’re basically shifting from a disempowered, critical “should” to an
loud.” empowered, expansive “could.”

~ Louise L. Hay That’s a shift we want to make often. :)

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL

“I ask my clients to pick up a small mirror, look into their own eyes, and say their names and, ‘I
love and accept you exactly as you are.’

This is so difficult for many people. Seldom do I get a calm reaction, let alone enjoyment from
this exercise. Some cry or are close to tears, some get angry, some belittle their features or
“If you don’t have the qualities, some insist they CAN’T do it…”
thought, you won’t have
Louise talks about the fact that some of our deepest programming came from our parents and
the feeling. And thoughts
other adults who, when we were kids, looked us straight in the eye and told us some stuff that we
can be changed. Change the
may not’ve preferred to have burned into our consciousness.
thought, and the feeling
must go.” She believes one of the most powerful ways to re-condition our minds is to look, with love, into
our own eyes and repeat “I love and accept you exactly as you are.”
~ Louise L. Hay
Try it out! If you’re like me you might feel a little wacky the first few (dozen! :) times you do it,

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 but it’s really amazing. Now, I’m following her advice and having a little bromance with myself
“I never believe it when
every time I look at a mirror. Me likes. :)
clients try to convince me
how terrible they are, or
CLEANING OUR MENTAL HOUSE
how unlovable they are.
My work is to bring them “If you want to clean a room thoroughly, you will pick up and examine everything in it. Some

back to the time when

things you will look at with love, and you will dust them or polish them to give them new
beauty. Some things you will see that need refinishing or repair, and you will make a note to
they knew how to really
do that. Some things will never serve you again, and it becomes time to let those things go. Old
love themselves.”
~ Louise L. Hay
magazines and newspapers and dirty paper plates can be dropped into the wastebasket very
calmly. There is no need to get angry in order to clean the room.

It is the same thing when we are cleaning our mental house. There is no need to get angry just
because some of the beliefs in it are ready to be tossed out. Let them go as easily as you would
“The only diet that does scrape bits of food into the trash after a meal. Would you really dig into yesterday’s garbage to
work is a mental diet—dieting make tonight’s meal? Do you dig into old mental garbage to create tomorrow’s experiences? If a
from negative thoughts.”~ thought or belief does not serve you, let it go!”
Louise L. Hay
I LOVE that.

Is it time to clean up that room in your head? :)

No need to get all cranky about it as you find thoughts/beliefs/etc. you don’t dig. Just toss ‘em
out, yo!

While we’re on the subject of dirty minds and making tonight’s dinner with last night’s garbage,
get these wacky stats from Marci Shimoff’s great book Happy for No Reason (see Notes):
“According to scientists, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. That’s one thought per second
“Loving ourselves begins
during every waking hour. No wonder we’re so tired at the end of the day! And what’s even
with never, ever criticizing
more startling is that of those 60,000 thoughts, 95 percent are the same thoughts you had
ourselves about anything.”
yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. Your mind is like a record player
~ Louise L. Hay playing the same record over and over again… Talk about being stuck in a rut… Still, that
wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the next statistic: for the average person, 80 percent of those
habitual thoughts are negative. That means that every day most people have more than 45,000
negative thoughts… Dr. Daniel Amen, a world-renowned psychiatrist and brain imaging
specialist, calls them automatic negative thoughts, or ANTs.”

Time for a mental cleanse?

We’ve already talked about swapping your shoulds for coulds. That’s a REALLY Big Idea.
You might also wanna see what you can do about removing ALL (!) blame, criticism, gossip,
complaining and comparing. Those little ANTs can make a real mess in your life.
“I believe life is really very
Time for some organic, non-toxic ant spray, eh? :)
simple. What we give out,

SEEING YOURSELF AS A CHILD

we get back.”

~ Louise L. Hay
“If we were to take a three-year-old child and put him in the middle of the room, and you and I
were to start yelling at the child, telling him how stupid he was, how he could never do anything
right, how he should do this, and shouldn’t do that, and look at the mess he made; and maybe
hit him a few times, we would end up with a frightened little child who sits docilely in the corner,
or who tears up the place. The child will go one of these two ways, but we will never know the
potential of that child.

If we take the same little child and tell him how much we love him, how much we care, that we
love the way he looks and love how bright and clever he is, that we love the way he does things,
and that it’s okay for him to make mistakes as he learns—and that we will always be there for
him no matter what—then the potential that comes out of that child will blow your mind!

PhilosophersNotes | You Can Heal Your Life 3

 Each one of us has a three-year-old child within us, and we often spend most of our time yelling
“Be kind to yourself. Begin
at that kid in ourselves. Then we wonder why our lives don’t work.”
to love and approve of
yourself. That’s what the Wow.
little child needs in order to That puts things in perspective, eh? How’re you treating that three-year-old kid within you?
express itself as its highest
Picture that dynamic the next time you start getting mean with yourself and check in to see if
potential.”
that’s the way you’d treat an adorable little three-year-old with infinite potential…
~ Louise L. Hay
And how about a little more kid love?

LEARNING HOW TO WALK OR TALK

“When a little child is learning to walk or talk, we encourage him and praise him for every tiny
improvement he makes. The child beams and eagerly tries to do better. Is this the way you
encourage yourself when you are learning something new? Or do you make it harder to learn
because you tell yourself that you are stupid or clumsy or a ‘failure’?”
“Almost all our programming,
both negative and positive, This is one of THE coolest ways to approach learning.
was accepted by us by the
Imagine yourself as a little child, first learning how to walk or talk.
time we were three years
* squeezes cheeks *
old.”

~ Louise L. Hay You’re such a little cutey!!! :)

Alright. Back to bizness. So, you’re this adorable little diaper-wearing angel GIDDILY pushing
your edges and falling down and trying again and LAUGHING while you “fail.”

Only, you don’t see it as failure because, among other things: a) You’re having way too much

“By far the biggest category

fun doing something just a little better than you did a moment before; and, b) That part of your
brain that processes thoughts like that hasn’t even developed yet so you’re back to intuitively
of resistance is fear--fear
rockin’ it and, of course, learning REMARKABLY quickly.
of the unknown.”

~ Louise L. Hay
Alright. Scenario 2. You’re still in your diapers. Only, this time, bring your current mind. Now
learn how to walk. Or talk.

… Good luck with that.

How about a quick look at your internal dialogue?

“OMG! Did anyone see that?!? I just fell AGAIN. GAH!!! That’s at LEAST the 5th time this
morning I fell. This just isn’t happening. I feel like SUCH an idiot. And that OTHER kid over
there is *totally* rockin’ it and he’s like a month younger than me. Forget it. This sucks. I’m just
not cut out for this. But no need to be attached to results. Breathe. Oh, whatever. I need a nap.”

Too fun. Seriously though. What if we embraced our spiritual evolution/personal development
“Impatience is just another (and EVERY skill we’re developing—whether it’s parenting or relationships or …) with the same
form of resistance. It is innocent joy with which we approached learning to walk?!?
resistance to learning and to
AND, what if we treated our friends with the same “bust-out-the-video-camera-cuz-Susy-just-
changing. When we demand almost-crawled-in-her-relationship” celebrative support we offer our kids when they’re rockin’ a
that it be done right now, new skill?
completed at once, then we
THAT’s a sweet world. Let’s create it. (Starting with ourselves, of course. :)
don’t give ourselves time
to learn the lesson involved
BLAMING & POWER
with the problem we have
created.” “Blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem. In blaming another, we give away our
power. Understanding this enables us to rise above the issue and take control of our future. The
~ Louise L. Hay
past cannot be changed. The future is shaped by our current thinking.”

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 Blame. Such a fascinating thing.
“Your mind is a tool you
can choose to use any way We’ve gotta realize that, as Louise says: “blame is one of the surest ways to stay in a problem.”
you wish. The thoughts you Why is blame so bad? Why is it such a great way to make sure we stay locked in a problem?
‘choose’ to think create the
Several reasons. The #1 reason is the fact we’re putting control OUTSIDE of ourselves and giving
experiences you have.”
our power away. NOT a good idea.
~ Louise L. Hay
I’ve mentioned the fact that psychologists call this your “locus of control” a number of times in
these Notes. You can have an “internal locus of control” or an “external locus of control.”

External means you BLAME a bad childhood, economy or hair day for your current well-being.
Ickey-pooh. You do that and you’ll be measurably less healthy, happy, all-that-you-want-to-be. :)

The alternative is simple: bring your power back. Make your “locus of control” INTERNAL—
inside you. KNOW that, despite the childhood, the economy or the hair day, YOU ALWAYS
HAVE A CHOICE on how you respond to life.

So, exercise that freedom.

Stop blaming. STOP STOP STOP.

Take your power back and know that you’re consciously creating a fabulous future with each
empowering thought.
“You’re security is not your
job, or your bank account, LOVE YOUR BILLS
or your investments, or your
“It is essential that we stop worrying about money and stop resenting our bills. Many people
spouse or parents. Your
treat bills as punishments to be avoided if possible. A bill is an acknowledgment of our ability
security is your ability to to pay. The creditor assumes you are affluent enough and gives you the service or the product
connect with the cosmic first. I bless with love each and every bill that comes into my home. I bless with love and stamp
power that creates all a small kiss on each and every check I write. If you pay with resentment, money has a hard
things.” time coming back to you. If you pay with love and joy, you open the free-flowing channel of
~ Louise L. Hay abundance. Treat money as a friend, not as something you wad up and crush into your pocket.”

How do YOU deal with bills?

Getting a bill really is an *amazing* thing when you think about it. Someone gave you something
because, in essence, they believed in and trusted you. Whether it’s a plumber who helps you out
then sends you a bill or a credit card company that gives you cash then sends you a bill.

If you have a knee-jerk reaction any time you get a bill, see if you can take a moment and reflect
on the incredible cooperation, love and trust involved in every simple exchange. Then, rather
than get all pissy about it, bless the bill. Thank the individual who gave you his/her services or
the individuals who make up the company that created the products you enjoy. These people
deserve our appreciation for spending some of their precious life force on helping us have a more
“I expect my life to be good
enjoyable life. Yah? THAT’s the way we wanna roll.
and joyous, and it is.”
If you’re currently in a *really* tight position cash-wise, it’s even MORE important you get in the
~ Louise L. Hay
habit of re-orienting your relationship to money. You might dig my Notes on a couple books that
were really transformative for me: Spiritual Economics and The Science of Getting Rich. Plus,
The Secrets of the Millionaire Mind is cool, too. :)

So, make money your friend and give the next bill you pay a little smooch, will ya?!? :)

LET’S NOT SHRIVEL OUR SOUL

“Often what we think of as the things ‘wrong’ with us are only our expressions of our
individuality. This is our uniqueness and what is special about us. Nature never repeats itself.

PhilosophersNotes | You Can Heal Your Life 5

 Since time began on this planet, there have never been two snowflakes alike or two raindrops
“I cross bridges with joy
the same. And every daisy is different from every other daisy. Our fingerprints are different,
and ease.”
and we are different. We are meant to be different. When we can accept this, then there is not
~ Louise L. Hay competition and no comparison. To try to be like another is to shrivel our soul. We have come to
this planet to express who we are.”

All the great teachers go off on this theme. See Notes on, well, all of them for echoes. :)

We’ve heard this at least a dozen (perhaps a million) times. But do you GET IT?!?

We’re not here to be a second-rate version of someone else. It’s time to REALLY embrace our
uniqueness, release ALL restrictions, and FULLY give ourselves to the world.

PUT YOUR AWARENESS INTO PRACTICE

“Think thoughts that make you happy. Do things that make you feel good. Be with people who
make you feel good. Eat things that make your body feel good. Go at a pace that makes you
feel  good.”

That’s worth a re-read. SO remarkably simple. And equally powerful.

We’ve all read a lot, thought a lot, had a million “Aha!” moments and, guess what? It’s time
to live ‘em. No stress, no strain. Pure acceptance of who we are and where we’re at. Pick the
practices and pace that makes you feel good and let’s rock. :)

With love and smiles and a wink at the two good lookin’ peeps in the mirror (hehe),

Brian Johnson,
Chief Philosopher

If you liked this Note, About the Author of “You Can Heal Your Life”
you’ll probably like… LOUISE L. HAY

Ask and It Is Given Louise L. Hay is a metaphysical lecturer and teacher and best-selling author of
The Power of Intention numerous books, including Heal Your Body A-Z and Empowering Women. Her
works have been translated into 29 languages in 35 countries throughout the
Trust Your Vibes
world. Since beginning her career as a Science of Mind minister in 1981, Louise
The Amazing Power of has assisted millions of people in discovering and using the full potential of their
Deliberate Intent
own creative powers for personal growth and self-healing. Louise is the owner
Happy for No Reason and founder of Hay House, Inc., a self-help publishing company that distributes
books, audios, and videos that contribute to the healing of the planet. (from the
book) Websites: LouiseHay.com and HayHouse.com.

About the Author of This Note

BRIAN JOHNSON

Brian Johnson loves helping people optimize their lives as he studies, embodies
and teaches the fundamentals of optimal living—integrating ancient wisdom
+ modern science + common sense + virtue + mastery + fun. Learn more and
optimize your life at brianjohnson.me.

6 PhilosophersNotes | You Can Heal Your Life