PASTORAL COUNSELING IN

THE LIFE OF THE CHURCH

Felicity Brock Kelcourse
Assistant Professor of Pastoral Care and Counseling
Christian Theological Seminary

T
he church is called to care for persons in need. What do faith
communities and their leaders offer those who need physical,
psychological, and spiritual healing? What is the role of pas-
toral counseling in the church’s ministry of pastoral care?
North American pastors and congregations typically en-
courage their members to seek medical treatment for physical illness
while providing visitation and intercessory prayer. Pastors and elders
are less likely to refer members to counselors, treatment centers, and
twelve step programs for psychosocial/spiritual problems such as de-
pression, marital discord, parenting difficulties, post-traumatic stress,
and addictions. Mental health care is sometimes viewed with sus-
picion as being individualistic, based on a secular belief system not in
keeping with the gospel. While such concerns may occasionally be
justified, this essay focuses on the role of pastoral counseling as a
healing resource for the church, fully compatible with the life of faith.
The church’s traditional response to the need for healing,
whether physical, psychological, or spiritual, has focused on the re-
demptive power of the gospel, specific practices of pastoral care,
spiritual direction, “the cure of souls.”1 Pastoral counseling is prac-

1
John McNeill, A History of the Cure of Souls (New York: Harper and
Row, 1977).
ticed by persons who may or may not be ordained, with ties to recog-
nized congregations that include experience in community leadership.
A pastoral counselor’s practice of psychotherapy is theologically
grounded, informed by psychological theory, and tempered through
supervised clinical experience, as required for membership in the
American Association of Pastoral Counselors (AAPC).2 Pastoral
counseling is a specific ministry within the life of the church, much as
fully trained chaplains are nationally recognized specialists in pas-
toral care.3
What does it mean to say that the pastoral counselor’s work is
“theologically grounded”? Pastoral counselors hold the values of
their faith tradition to be normative for their work. This is in contrast
to a secular model of counseling that may view self-actualization and
personal fulfillment as the highest goals of health, disregarding at
times the necessary relational claims that family and community
covenants place on individual lives. Like marriage and family thera-
pists, pastoral counselors give attention to relational responsibilities –
love of neighbor, love for self – as essential to human wholeness. But
pastoral counselors also have a uniquely theological emphasis: they
interpret life narratives in the context of God’s love and justice as
revealed through scripture and the practices of faith communities.
Pastoral counselors recognize the existential relevance for all persons
of theological categories such as “ultimate concern” or “Ground of

2
Male Protestant ministers from the “historic denominations” – Metho-
dist, Presbyterian, Episcopalian, Baptist, Disciples, etc., originally dominated
the membership of AAPC. With an influx of Catholic women from religious
orders, the membership was opened to non-ordained persons. Today, AAPC
exists as an increasingly diverse interreligious professional organization that
supports clinically trained persons of faith in their practice of psychotherapy.
For more information, see the national web site: www.aapc.org.
3
Clinical Pastoral Education training, or CPE, is to pastoral care what
AAPC approved training is to pastoral counseling. Both provide standards
for competency in specialized ministries.

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 Pastoral Counseling in the Life of the Church

Being,” with or without a consciously identified covenant relationship

with God.4
The primary role of pastoral counseling specialists in the life
of the church is to support congregations and their leaders in their
ministries of health and healing. Health is more than physical well-
being; it includes integrity, right relationship with self, others, and
God. Healing is the redemptive work of God through grace and by
people of faith as co-creators of shalom, peace founded on justice and
relational harmony. Given these definitions, how does the work of
pastoral counseling promote health and healing? A look at the actual
pastoral care demands placed on leaders and congregations suggests
the kind of support needed and the ways pastoral counselors are
equipped to respond.

THE DEMANDS OF CONGREGATIONAL

LEADERSHIP

The traditional pastoral role, congregational leadership, re-

quires multivalent talents. The pastor’s skill in pastoral care, her or
his role as guide through the joys and sorrows of life, is a founda-
tional dimension of ministry. The successful pastor needs to be an
effective “people person” – good at listening and communicating, a
dynamic leader, an able administrator, a community organizer, a
volunteer coordinator, and a development officer. Gifts as an inspired
preacher and teacher, a scholar of scripture, Christian tradition and
theology are essential. To undergird all of these pastoral functions,
the effective minister needs time apart to maintain his or her own
disciplines of prayer, study, spiritual, psychological and spiritual
renewal, including periodic retreats, continuing education events, and
such basics of self care as adequate sleep, exercise, play, relaxation,
and good nutrition.

4
Paul Tillich, Systematic Theology, vol. 1 (Chicago: University of
Chicago Press, 1951).

Encounter 63.1-2 (2002) 139

 As if juggling all of the above were not enough, many pastors
are married with children. Edwin Friedman, in his guide to systemic
thinking in congregational settings, Generation to Generation, notes
that congregational leaders live at the intersection of three sets of
family systems. First, ministers participate in nuclear and extended
family systems, whether by birth or by marriage. Second, ministers
interact with family systems that make up the congregation, many
interwoven or at odds with one another. Third, to add to the com-
plexity, the congregation exists as a systemic whole, with its own pre-
ferred patterns of function and dysfunction.5
Family systems theory teaches that we are each partners in an
interactive dance learned from our families of origin. Most families
(and congregations) are quick to step on the toes of a dancer who gets
out of line. It takes a self-aware person to do the dance differently
when they disagree with the system. Systems theorists call this
“differentiation”: the ability to march to the beat of a different drum
when one is convinced one has found a better way.

HOW PASTORAL COUNSELING SERVES THE

MINISTER

Being a differentiated leader can be a lonely job. Well-

intentioned laity, family, and friends do not always understand the
professional responsibilities of ministry. The woes of ministers over-
whelmed by the demands of their role include children who get into
trouble, affairs, divorce, depression, exhaustion, addictions, and loss
of faith. Is it any wonder that by their third job after ordination 37
percent of women and 26 percent of men are no longer serving in
congregational settings?6

5
Edwin H. Friedman, Generation to Generation: Family Process in
Church and Synagogue (New York: Guilford Press, 1985).
6
Barbara Brown Zikmund, Adair Lummis, and Patricia Mei Yin Chang,
Clergy Women: An Uphill Calling (Louisville: Westminster John Knox
Press, 1998), 87, Table 4.2.

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 Pastoral Counseling in the Life of the Church

Pastoral counseling specialists support congregational leaders

through consultation, supervision, referrals, and denominational “nur-
ture and certification” committees as well as offering personal support
for the minister and his or her family. Every minister could use a
pastoral counseling consultant with whom to be in dialogue about
their own needs and the needs of the congregation, in the same way
that pastoral counselors and chaplains receive on-going supervision.
What frequently stops ministers from seeking support is a “god com-
plex” – the belief that while the minister should be prepared at all
times to meet the needs of others, ministers do not or should not need
support for themselves. To deny one’s own legitimate human need
for support and encouragement in such an emotionally demanding
profession is to fail to model the appropriate self-care ministers en-
courage for their members.
Pastors, like parents, lead best by example. But pastors can-
not be expected to be gracious and effective role models if they lack
the personal support that each of us needs to do our best. Where are
they going to find it? Not from their congregational members – too
much emotional reliance on members is ineffective at best, dangerous
at worst. As for peers, most ministerial associations do not offer the
substantive support that a clergy group with a trained leader and stan-
dards of confidentiality can afford.7 If the pastor, as healer, is to
effectively “hold” the anxiety and pain within a congregation, some-
one needs to hold them as well. Pastoral counselors, trained in dia-
logical discernment, can provide the holding pastoral leaders require.
I remember being a young minister fresh out of seminary
nearly twenty years ago without the benefit of Clinical Pastoral
Education. Looking out over the congregation on Sunday morning, I
felt overwhelmed by the needs of the members: the woman in chronic
pain, the couple contemplating divorce, the lay leader beset by mental
illness, the family preparing for transplant surgery, the woman facing
the lingering death of her husband, the ever-active gossip, and the

7
Lilly Endowment-funded projects such as the Indiana Clergy Peer
Group Study Program and the Clergy Renewal Program encourage congre-
gations to invest in the care and maintenance of their ordained leaders.

Encounter 63.1-2 (2002) 141

disgruntled members critical of the minister. I viewed all these needs
as demanding a response from me.
This was just the tip of the iceberg, the part I could see.
Below my conscious awareness loomed my own insecurities as a
leader, my need to please and lack of a differentiated perspective.
The congregation’s former pastor of twenty-five years was still in
town, performing funerals and weddings on request. My attitude
towards him alternated between resentment and deference; I felt it
was unethical for him to undermine my leadership through continued
contact with the congregation, yet I respected his years of experience.
As if the strains of this setting were not enough to shipwreck
a young pastor on her maiden voyage in leadership, there was stress
within my own family from repeated pregnancy loss. These private
losses began to take their toll. Recognizing signs of depression, I got
a referral from a seminary friend to see a pastoral counselor. I re-
member feeling grateful that, as a pastor, he could understand the
multiple demands of ministry as few lay people do.
Coming from a “stiff upper lip” family that did not value
introspection or emotions other than cheerful resignation, therapy
opened a new world to me, the world of my own inner life. Dialogue
with a pastoral counselor prepared the way for a fresh narrative of
faith. I accepted God’s blessing to set my own course and become
master of my own vessel, with all the thrills and perils that entails,
recognizing that to navigate effectively I would need to keep filling
my sails with the breath of the Holy Spirit.
Following my congregational assignment, I applied what I
had learned about my own subjective experience to the ministry of
pastoral care and counseling. Through five units of CPE and four
years of clinical training in pastoral psychotherapy, marriage and
family therapy, and group therapy, I learned to discern, in dialogue
with others, the truth that would set them free (Jn 8:32). What began
as personal support in time of need become for me the direction of
God’s call as I learned firsthand how to heal mind, body, and soul
through dialogue, curing souls by means of the “talking cure.” Today
I am able to do for ministers and lay leaders what that first pastoral

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counselor did for me, offering support during difficult times and help-
ing them to chart a course that is life-giving and Holy Spirit filled.
Ministers need access to their own inner lives so that they can
effectively self-supervise, monitoring their responses to the emotion-
ally demanding circumstances that naturally arise as part of their
pastoral work. If they can’t effectively care for themselves, they will
not be effective in caring for others. Often additional clinical train-
ing, through CPE, individual, family, or group psychotherapy and/or
supervision from a clinically experienced minister, is required. Even
when the pastor feels no need of support from a counselor, it is a rare
congregation that doesn’t have its share of “difficult people.” Some
are so difficult that the life of the congregation suffers because of
them. Persuading people who could benefit from counseling to seek
help may not be easy, but the minister who has experienced healing
through psychotherapy in her or his own life can confidently refer
others to pastoral counselors who respect their faith.

THE HEALING ROLE OF CONGREGATIONS

I have focused so far on the work of congregational leaders

and the ways that pastoral counselors can support them. While a full
consideration of congregations’ nurturing and healing functions is be-
yond the scope of this article, it is important that this role be acknow-
ledged. For example, at the beginning of life, congregations that
value children and effectively meet the needs of their growing minds
and bodies can become an important second home. Children benefit
greatly from being known, celebrated, and accepted by the commu-
nity of faith. In these congregations, the belief that “God is love” is
modeled through the care children and their families receive. 8
At the other end of life, congregations provide respectful pas-
toral care for the frail elderly, the dying, and their families. Healthy
persons of retirement age express a renewed sense of purpose by
8
Karen Marie Yust, “The Toddler and the Community,” in Human
Development and Faith, ed. Felicity Kelcourse (St. Louis: Chalice Press,
2002).

Encounter 63.1-2 (2002) 143

providing much of the volunteer service churches require. Couples
find their marriages and parenting efforts strengthened by marriage
encounter weekends and parenting classes offered through the church.
Congregations heal by teaching the stories of their faith traditions,
offering inspiration and hope in difficult times. Congregations pro-
mote wholeness when the milestones of life are celebrated – marriage,
birth, learning, coming of age, growing in wisdom, aging, loss, and
death. The community of faith itself can and should be a place of
healing. But congregations can wound as well as heal. Christian
communities can indulge in gossip, promote conflict by avoiding dir-
ect communication, spread blame while avoiding responsibility, pro-
ject perceived evils onto others, and frequently take refuge behind a
shallow self-righteousness that fails to support dialogue across per-
ceived boundaries of difference.9

WHAT CAN PASTORAL COUNSELING DO FOR

CONGREGATIONS?

The pastor, often a relative newcomer to the congregation, is

not always in a favorable position to mediate between warring fac-
tions in the church or insist that a difficult person who holds a promi-
nent leadership position is avoiding their own need for healing at the
expense of community life. Pastoral counselors can assist congre-
gational healing as outside consultants who are able to make the
recommendations pastors and denominational leaders are unwilling to
voice for fear of alienating powerful members.
In response to congregational needs, church based and Samar-
itan counseling centers have arisen around the country. National
health maintenance organizations have issued invitations to Fellow
level pastoral counselors to join their networks because most persons
seeking psychotherapy prefer to see a counselor who respects their

9
K. Brynolf Lyon, “The Hatred of Learning from Experience: Why
Pastors and Congregations Fail One Another,” Encounter 61, no. 4 (Autumn
2000): 465-477.

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 Pastoral Counseling in the Life of the Church

faith. Some hospital based pastoral counseling centers, like the one at
Miami Valley Hospital in Dayton, Ohio, have formed covenant
relationships with surrounding churches. In exchange for an annual
contribution to the counseling center’s operating costs, all members
of participating congregations can be seen for counseling at a reduced
fee.
Some pastors fear that counseling centers based in other
churches will steal their members. Dan Moseley’s experience as
senior pastor at Vine Street Christian Church in Nashville, Tennessee
demonstrates that this is not the case. While those who came to his
church for counseling generally did not join the congregation, the
church based counseling center was recognized as a significant
service to the community. Members of other churches, grateful for an
effective referral, felt even greater loyalty to their own minister and
congregation than before.10

HOW DOES PASTORAL COUNSELING HEAL?

The most basic function of the pastoral counselor is to listen.

In the first session the person seeking help generally talks about the
problem as they see it, describing the painful feelings and experiences
that motivated them to seek help. People who haven’t been in therapy
often say, “I don’t need to pay a therapist to listen to me, I have
friends and family who can do that.” But what generally happens
when one confides one’s distress to family and friends is that distress
makes them uncomfortable; they want to “fix” the problem, to make
it go away. When the problem involves a partner or spouse, family
and friends are apt to take sides, escalating couple conflicts. The
therapist serves as an impartial observer whose role is to help an indi-
vidual, couple, or group to be clear about what they want from their
relationships and how best to realize their goals.

10
Dan Moseley, Herald B. Monroe Professor of Practical Parish Ministry,
Christian Theological Seminary, personal communication.

Encounter 63.1-2 (2002) 145

 Unlike some secularly trained psychotherapists, the pastoral
counselor’s orientation to healing is not “value free.” As a person of
faith, the pastoral counselor attempts to speak to “that of God” in
another, trusting that the counselee, couple, or congregation has ac-
cess to an inner knowing that will lead them to the best available
course of action or life narrative – if they will heed it.11

PASTORAL COUNSELING AND THE ETERNAL NOW

Pastoral counseling can be understood as a form of prayer;

through faithfully hearing another we attend to that of God in them.
In therapy, an interpersonal field forms between pastoral counselor
and counselee where God is invited to be present. The Eternal Now,
the Realm of God, becomes a shared present where the past can be
retold in new ways and the future transformed.12
Ultimately, whether the need for healing presents itself as
physical, psychological, or spiritual, it is still souls, our God-given
body/spirit energy, that need to be cured. In partnership with pastors
and congregations, the role of the pastoral counselor is to represent
God’s steadfast love and the hope of redemptive grace for all who
suffer.

11
Like other mental health professionals, the pastoral counselor has a
duty to intervene if the counselee presents an immediate threat of harm to
self or others.
12
Paul Tillich, The Eternal Now (New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons,
1963).

146