Loki: A Bad God's Guide To Being Good by Louie Stowell Chapter Sampler
Loki: A Bad God's Guide To Being Good by Louie Stowell Chapter Sampler
g s t o:
belon
s
my mi e
M om e ne
LOKI
RULEZ
Bzzz
Sssss
volume
cube is...
LOUD
DOOM
Cluck
Mount Buttsuvius
LOUIE STOWELL
WALKER BOOKS
This is a work of fiction.
Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of
the author’s imagination or, if real, are used fictitiously.
22 23 24 25 26 27 LBM 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Walker Books US
a division of
Candlewick Press
99 Dover Street
Somerville, Massachusetts 02144
www.walkerbooksus.com
This book is dedicated to
Adrian Mole, who ran so Loki
could kind of stumble around
messing everything up.
MAP
OF THE WORLDS
)
(not to scale
WORLD
TREE
VANAHEIM
BORING GODS
MY
HOUSE
HUMANS
ELVES
ES
MORE ELV
DWARVES
FIRE
ING
EXCIT FANCY
GODS
PALACES
ASGARD
MIDGARD RAINBOW
BRIDGE
THE
WORLD
SERPENT
FISH
JOTUNHEIM
DEAD PEOPLE E HERE
GIANTS LIV
HEL ICE
The Characters
Me
VALERIE
THOR HYRROKKIN
EAT
DIRT
SSsss
FIDO
ANGRY TEACHER
ODIN
Class Schedule
Mond sda
Math Math
BREAK
Art Language
Arts
0 110
spelling ENGLISH
LUNCH
Studies geography
PE SCIENCE
HO ME
WO R TEACHER
K
ednes ay Th sda Fr
SPELLING ENGLISH
d ra m a
Language music
english Arts
French
potato
math art pe
French history
Studies
R.
JOU
BO N
LOKI
RULE
Z
Da y One
We dn es da y
-3000
Tur
d s.
different reasons.
AWESOME
TER
BIG HAIR
HORNS ONLY
TLY
SLIGH E
SOM
COOL FACIAL AWE
HAIR
HAIR
BROAD SCRAWNY
SHOULDERS NECK
LE
NOOD
AR S
M
ARM
MUSCLES
STICK
LEGS
T
SHOR
Second, there are my fake parents.
own undergarments!
der !
t hun
book every single day for a month to prove that I’m
SGA
ED
NAK AT
ER
MO L
house.
anyway ?
Wait,
SNAKES ?
Correction: Hyrrokkin did not use her wolf to
threaten you.
pithy summary?
Very well.
10
• You, Loki, must show moral improvement
as measured in virtue points. Your starting
score is –3000. Your goal is +3000.
11
Plague ?
How r u de
!
anything
Correct.
UTTERLY UNFAIR!
In case of an emergency, you merely need to
utter the words HEY, ODIN and the Allfather
shall respond.
12
Moments later
Let th ere
be light .
Sss
ss
Voila
wh e re
a re ?
ETERNITY.
“Let’s not do anything hasty,” I said, backing away
h eh .
hair!
torture Thor’s presence would entail.
You’re weak.”
15
N-
DU N- D
UNNN
NN
10 11
14 1 5 16 17 18
12 13 23 24 25
2 1 2 2
19 20 31
27 28 29
26
N,
ONE DOW
TO GO
E)
(FEELS LIK
Da y Tw o
Thur sd ay
-3050
Fift y points deducted for giving
What?
up before even starting
you !
ETY
WHE ETS
TRE
e
fak
1 0 0%
divine punishment, even.
mortals.
Cold p
riso
huma n for
n food
EW!
OFF
SC
SMOG
SCOFF
SCO
FF
WHEETY
TREETS
100% fake
18
To be fair, I have a lot to learn before I’ll understand
Thor. It ba es me that he’s the one the gods admire.
I once caught him cutting his toenails at the feasting
table. I say “caught him” but actually, he cried out:
detective work.
STE NCH
19
Besides, Hyrrokkin has disguised her wolf as a dog.
What self-respecting god would ride a DOG? But we
did take it with us on our walk to school. Hyrrokkin
said it would help us make friends. This seemed an
absurd statement, but indeed, when we reached the
school gates, a number of children clustered around
us to stroke the dog.
Humans are so weird about dogs. They don’t seem
WOLF:
1.
3. L ook s c
ruel
a n d aw
e some
2. Howls at the moon
in the dead of night
1. r oat s
ou t t h 4. Poos on th e
T HO R
fl oo r. Eve n
2. Su ck s u
p
do es n’ t do th
at .
on ce .
t o hum
an s Wel l, m ay be
Giants are known for many things—fighting, magic and
22
Correction: It was not that.
23
24
wisdom of a juvenile slug. Then we were given a break,
identify.
maybe
25
THOR
MOM
Almost
certainly
witty probably
Yours
DAD truly!
clever
GAND
JORMUN
snake
EIPNIR
SL
Eight-legged
horse
FENRIR
Giant
wolf
woman,
HEL corpse
SOME OTHER
LESS INTERESTING
underworld
wonderful drawing skills and interesting, mysterious
Th at ’s
my son!
snake.
RIGHT
28
Thor’s
toothbrush
Da y Th ree
Fr ida y
-3100
50 points lost due to almost risking revealing his
true nature, and the toilet toothbrush incident
Huh. Well, that’s not nice. I feel that this points system is
deeply unfair. I would like to lodge a formal complaint.
m ph.
u
Job:
CAPITALISM)
attention.
Personally, I don’t see why Odin couldn’t have
31
Private School:
great power.
Tali sman
twitchy. He kept looking from side to side.
33
it’s true. Hyrrokkin, for example, in her proper form
is larger than most gods, but she still doesn’t need to
duck to walk through the palace doors in Asgard.
Plus, giants are shape-shifters, so they don’t even
look humanoid half the time. Hyrrokkin is very fond of
Giant
giant
this duck
34
No one officially knows exactly how the
gods-versus-giants feud started, except for Odin. I
believe it had something to do with him slaying the
very first giant and using its body to create the Earth.
Not that Odin would ever admit that.
Bloody
dagger
35