Intercultural Communication Final Assignment Topic 1: Personal Identity

Name: Nguyen Thi Thu Cuc
Class: 18E10
Student ID: 18040467
INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION
FINAL ASSIGNMENT
TOPIC 1: PERSONAL IDENTITY
How do you define yourself (Who are you?)? How has your linguistic and
cultural background influenced who you are today and who you hope to be in the
future? Think about one or more facets of your identity (personal, ethnic, social,
religious, racial ....). Have you ever been in a situation in which your preferred
identities were not recognized or respected? Describe your emotions and
response. Is any of your identities changing? If yes, in what way is it changing?
Essay:
Everybody once in life must have struggled with several timeless questions such
as “Who are you?”, “What makes you different from other people?”, “Where do
you belong to?”, and so on. Answering all those kinds of questions seems to be
simple at the beginning, but it requires time and critical thinking as well. The
process of giving responses to those queries is figuring out the personal identity.
Generally, identity is defined as the way people think about themselves, the way
they are viewed by the world, and the characteristics that define them (Jones, 2007).
Personal identity, according to Lustig and Koester (2010), is the unique features of
people, which are perhaps distinct from those of others in their culture and social
groups. Moreover, a person’s identity concept or self-concept, is built on cultural,
social, and personal identities. Besides, social and personal identities are inevitably
connected with cultural identities (Lustig & Koester, 2010); therefore, when
defining myself, I will look into these factors together.
My identity is formed and shaped under the profound influence of cultural

identity, which involves learning and acknowledging the traditions, heritage,
language, religion, aesthetic, thinking patterns, social structures as I internalize the
beliefs, values, and practices of my culture and identify myself. Besides, most
components of identity become crucial only when they are activated by specific
circumstances (Lustig & Koester, 2010). Thus, it is obvious that linguistic and
cultural background have been greatly affecting my current self, or who I am now.
Since I was a kid, my strict grandmother has taken the responsibility to teach me
from the simplest to the most complicated customs and rituals such as the ways to
behave well when talking to elder people, use chopsticks and eat without smacking,
greet properly when meeting someone, dress like a girl, or prepare for the important
days of the family, and most importantly, unquestioningly adhere to whatever the
elder people say, etc. Disobeying, disagreeing, or arguing with parents are
considered immoral behaviors and unacceptable in my community. Gradually, I
grew up and became a teenage girl who is courteous, patient, well-behaved,
obedient, disciplined, whom everyone could see and tell immediately which family
I belong to. I have been so obsessed with the “ideal girl” image created in my
community for many years. Also, my parents believed that they had the right to
made all decisions for me and rarely asked for my opinions because they thought
that they always gave me the best choice, and my grandmother was the one who
supervised my acts, I was under a lot of pressure to behave in such a way that
deserves to their expectations. I always kept trying hard to live up to my family and
relatives' expectations. Not only me but each family member was also in charge of
preserving family traditions, making our ancestors proud so that we could hold our
heads high in our community.
Furthermore, my family is a typically traditional and extended Vietnamese

family living in a fairly peaceful countryside and surrounded by many other
families with the same long-standing traditional culture; so the act of keeping the
family’s face is of great importance to us. I once admired Western foreigners on the
screen owing that they could live their own life, make their own choices without
being scared of other people’s judgement. I could not remember how many times I
asked my mother why we could not just be like them, the answers which I received
were always “We are not like them”, ‘’We are totally different”, though. Of course,
I do appreciate that my family does everything to support me in everything,
particularly in education, so I could learn and understand that it is commonplace
for the Vietnamese people to consider individuals the representatives of the
families, and the Westerners are well-known for their individualism, while our
Vietnamese culture puts the greatest value on the significance of the family. Then,
I gradually accepted these distinctive features and tried to put on the mask of an
“ideal” Vietnamese daughter for all my adolescent years. I tried hard to repress and
control my real traits, but it was not comfortable, and I knew from deep down inside
my heart, I hoped someday I could figure out and fight for living with my true self.
Then, suddenly in the last semester of the 12th grade, I could feel my identity
was changing immensely when I had to decide my direction in my future career
path. At first, my parents, my uncles, and my brothers insisted on somewhat forcing
me to follow in their footsteps. They wanted me to be a policewoman, and they said
that it was a cushy, stable job and could still give a good income for a girl like me.
I, on the contrary, want to be an interpreter, I want to go to many places and explore
the world outside, and pursue my passion. I had never imagined that I could long
for anything in my life so much like this time. I felt my true self emerged intensely
from the inside since it was activated in the circumstance in which my real
characteristics, preferences, and burning desires were oppressed by others, but they
were fighting harshly for coming out. Thus, I told my parents that for all those years
living under the shadow of the obedient, disciplined, so-called good girl in the
other’s eyes, I wanted to be myself and decided my life on my own without anyone's
arrangement. Then I chose my only career aspiration without asking for their
permission. I vividly remember the moment when I handed in my registration paper
and talked to my parents. They were shocked, disappointed, and extremely angry,
particularly my father. He even wanted me to take back the application and rewrite
it. However, I did not give up and kept on fighting for being the real me, and
persuading my family day by day until they understood; consequently, they
accepted “me” at last. I felt that I was changing, and they were, too. They said that
from then on they let me make my own decisions, and I had to be responsible for
myself, but they shall always be my backends. I felt really grateful, and released. I
knew that there will be many challenges which I have to handle by myself from
that moment, but I have unshakable faith in my own decided future.
Through three years of studying and living in my own-choice university, I have

to admit that I have been changing a lot. Lustig and Koester (2010) stated that
cultural identity or personal identity is merely dynamic and changes with one’s
ongoing life experiences. Over time, as people adapt to a variety of intercultural
difficulties, their cultural identity may be transformed into one that is remarkably
divergent from what it used to be. Indeed, I used to be a so-called good girl, an
obedient daughter, and likely to interact with the familiar, follow the majority and
avoid changes. Now I have the authority to decide on my life, express my true
feelings, and speak out my voices as I have been exposed and adapted to the new,
different, open environment with new friends and cultures. I am majoring in
English, so I am learning and exploring intensely about the Western culture, which
contributes hugely to my cultural identity changes. Moreover, I have a part-time
job as a tour guide for foreigners, so I have the opportunity to communicate with
people with diverse cultural backgrounds. It greatly influences my ways of
communication, practical and self-awareness activities, and ways of thinking and
analyzing. I am now franker and pro-individualist than in the past. Therefore, I am
trying harder to be self-reliant and independent in terms of finance in the near
future. Also, I recognized that once communicating and working with people who
have cultural backgrounds different from my own, my sense of who I am at that
instant may well be altered, at least to some extent. It can be seen that my ever-
changing culture plays an especially important role in shaping my future self-
image. My sense of identity develops along with my process of experiencing my
life by consciously and unconsciously responding to the never-ending changes in
the external world.
In short, everyone in their life may have to experience an identity crisis,

wondering who they truly are or what their real-life purpose is. What we need is to
have a profound insight into our own culture so as to understand our own
identification thoroughly. Also, our identities are ceaselessly changing during our
lifetime through life experiences owing to the cross-cultural process, so besides
comprehending our own culture, it is also dispensable to learn more about different
cultures. Accordingly, intercultural communication competence is of particular
importance as it contributes to opening our new outlooks and helping us navigate
ourselves towards our better version.
Word count: 1475

References
Jones, A., & Quach, X. (2007). Intercultural communication. The University of
Melbourne.
Lustig, M. W., & Koester, J. (2010). Intercultural Competence: Interpersonal
Communication Across Cultures (6th Edition) (6th ed.). Pearson.

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Name: Nguyen Thi Thu Cuc

Student ID: 18040467

TOPIC 1: PERSONAL IDENTITY

My identity is formed and shaped under the profound influence of cultural

Furthermore, my family is a typically traditional and extended Vietnamese

Through three years of studying and living in my own-choice university, I have

In short, everyone in their life may have to experience an identity crisis,

Word count: 1475

Jones, A., & Quach, X. (2007). Intercultural communication. The University of

Lustig, M. W., & Koester, J. (2010). Intercultural Competence: Interpersonal

Communication Across Cultures (6th Edition) (6th ed.). Pearson.

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