Libey 1

Alexis Libey

Cassel

ENG1201

24 March 2022

What Does it Mean to be a Woman?

Is it true that femininity is nothing more than a socially conditioned standard? I have

encountered so many women who sincerely believe that it is and this is heartbreaking to me. I

have been told by my female peers on more than one occasion that I am “brainwashed” because I

want children and a husband. But is that true? Is it unnatural for me, as a woman, to desire those

things? No. Actually, this trend being seen in society of defying classical gender responsibilities

is causing more harm than good, especially to children. So, what does it truly mean to be a

woman? Femininity is not solely a culturally conditioned phenomenon, in fact, it has almost

nothing to do with conditioning at all, however, it has everything to do with biology, psychology,

and predisposition.

Firstly, to establish a baseline for the research, the terms must be defined. Meaning, that it

must be understood that males and females are not the same. Also, when the phrases

natural/inherent masculinity or femininity are used, they are meant to connotate an innate

biological disposition to gender standards. It is a common misconception today that all or at least

most gender normalities are an effect of social conditioning, however, that is not the case.

Scientists have usually considered any sex-based neurological differences to be the result of

years of conditioning, however,“... new technologies have generated a growing pile of evidence

that there are inherent differences in how men’s and women’s brains are wired and how they

work,” (Goldman). In his research paper, Two Minds: The Cognitive Differences Between Men
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and Women, Bruce Goldman of Stanford University discusses Diane Halpern, Ph.D.( past

president of the American Psychological Association), and her conversion to the idea that there

are sex-based cognitive differences between men and women. Throughout much of her career,

Halpern was opposed to the belief that sex-based differences existed, and agreed that any

observed differences between males and females were purely the result of society. However,

after extensive research, she changed her mind. For example, “In a study of 34 rhesus monkeys,

males strongly preferred toys with wheels over plush toys, whereas females found plush toys

likable. It would be tough to argue that the monkeys’ parents bought them sex-typed toys or that

simian society encourages its male offspring to play more with trucks,”(Goldman). One may

argue against this study and say that those are monkeys, not people, so why should the research

on them indicate innate femininity or masculinity in humans? This would be a legitimate

concern, however, this study was effectively replicated in infants. Infant children, at an age

where they are still unable to recognize sex differences, are drawn to toys and objects that

coincide with their biological gender and typical stereotypes (Goldman). The scientific

differences between males and females do not stop there. Halpern explains that women perform

significantly better than men in verbal ability, as well as in reading comprehension and writing.

Women are also more competent in the area of fine motor capabilities and possess a better long-

term memory (Goldman). According to Halpern, “Men, on average, can more easily juggle items

in working memory. They have superior visuospatial skills: They’re better at visualizing what

happens when a complicated two- or three-dimensional shape is rotated in space, at correctly

determining angles from the horizontal, at tracking moving objects, and at aiming

projectiles,”(Goldman). If this data is applied, the assigned roles in society start to make sense.

These roles are not based on prejudice, they are based on what men and women do best. To add
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to this, Halpern says that these “visuospatial differences” present themselves as early as 2-3

months of age. The attention of baby girls is more readily captured by faces than by things and

for men the opposite is true. These differences perpetuate into adulthood (Goldman). This also

perpetuates in the careers that men and women choose. Women are more likely to select jobs that

deal with people, such as a nurse or a teacher, and men are more likely to pick jobs that are more

object-oriented, like vehicle technicians or engineers. Not only do men’s and women’s brains

function differently, but they are anatomically different. Women have a larger and differently

working hippocampus than men, while men have a larger and differently working amygdala.

Researchers also found that, “the corpus callosum — the white-matter cable that crosses and

connects the hemispheres — is bigger in women than in men and that women’s brains tend to be

more bilaterally symmetrical than men’s,”(Goldman). In terms of the biological differences

between men and women, women possess two X chromosomes, while men possess an X and a

Y, meaning the very DNA of men and women is different. The anatomical differences are the

most obvious and the most well-known. Women have breasts and the necessary organs to carry

children. They have more fat (thus are curvier), are smaller in stature, have less muscle mass, and

have weaker bones. Men are more of a v-shape, with higher body weights, muscle mass, bone

density, and they are unable to carry children. All of this data lines up with the concept that

gender norms are inherent and not socially conditioned. Men are bigger, faster, and more

aggressive, thus they are the ones that fight, build, lead, and protect. Women are better with their

hands, smaller, gentler, less aggressive, and more oriented towards caregiving, thus they nurse,

nurture, and teach, especially to children.

If one wants to figure out what it truly means to be a woman, it follows to look at the roles

and expectations of women throughout history/cross-culturally and to compare and contrast. If

gender norms were purely social and had no standing in biology or innate disposition, then it

would be expected that the roles of men and women would vary, maybe even significantly,

across time and culture. One may argue against this assertion and say that women were not

treated fairly in ancient times so their positions in society are not an accurate reflection of what

women really are and therefore ancient gender norms are not relevant. However, this is not the

case. Take Mesopotamia, the so-called “Cradle of Civilization”. How did one of the earliest

civilizations treat women? This is answered in a book entitled Women's Writing of Ancient

Mesopotamia, published by Cambridge University. The women of Mesopotamia were actually

treated with almost complete fairness. The women were allowed to buy, sell, act as witnesses,

and own property. There is also substantial evidence that they were heavily involved in trade. A

widow who did not have any sons or sons who were of age was allowed to take control of her

deceased husband’s business. Women were even allowed in administrative positions (Halton and

Svärd). However, it was more common that women would stay at home and raise the children,

but if they worked, it was usually in weaving, nursing, midwifery, and as the lady of the house,

which lines up with the findings of the previous paragraph as to where a woman’s predisposition

lies (Halton and Svärd). How about Egypt? According to the European Journal of Humanities &

Social Sciences, “...women in Ancient Egypt enjoyed more rights than any of the ancient

civilizations. They were fortunate in that they could have properties, sign contracts, divorce by

their own will, and engage in the legal system by playing the role of a witness. The standard

gender roles were already applicable in Ancient Egypt; females were there to encourage, support,

and nurture the male lead,” (Sun and Wang). The standard female roles are also present in their

religion. Goddesses were typically more nurturing, fashionable, loving, and fulfilled the role of

bride or mother. The gods on the other hand were warriors, rulers, and fathers (Sun and Wang).
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This all aligns with the assertion that gender norms and roles, (and thus femininity) are not solely

socially conditioned, there is something inherent about them. Ancient Egypt was 5,000 years

ago, and the same standards that applied then continue to apply throughout history and into the

modern context. One may take a contrary position to this and say that these norms only apply

because the men are oppressing the women and forcing them to stay at home. The social

constructionist theory (the idea that all differences between men and women are purely societal)

might also be used as a counter argument here and one arguing from that position would claim

that all of these similarities are coincidental and that if men and women were given the chance,

most if not all gender norms would vanish. However, this is not true. According to Jordan

Peterson (a doctor with a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and extensive experience with female

patients and colleagues), in egalitarian societies (societies built on the principle that all people

are equal), the differences between men and women, especially in the area of personality,

increase (Jordan Peterson - Equality Amplifies Gender Differences). That is the exact opposite of

the claims of the Constructionist Theory. If the Social Constructionist Theory is true, then the

differences between men and women would have decreased, but that is not what happened. What

about in Ancient Rome? Women in the Roman Empire were expected to fulfill the role of wife

and mother and if they had a job, it was usually as a weaver or in the field of cosmetics, or as a

virginal priestess (The Roman Empire in the First Century). And even though they had no

official role in politics, the wives had a significant amount of sway over their husbands.

According to The Roman Empire in the First Century, a publication by PBS, “wives or close

relatives of prominent men could have political influence behind the scenes and exert real, albeit

informal, power,” (The Roman Empire in the First Century). If gender was purely socially

conditioned, and not inherent, would it not be expected that across different societies and
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cultures the standards and roles would be different? Of course! However, that is not how it

played out. Throughout history, women and men have always played the same roles and held

relatively the same positions, due to their biology, psychology, and physical capabilities. But it is

a common belief in modern culture that gender roles are oppressive and need to be eliminated

(which is not true as proved earlier, they simply coincide with the strengths of each sex), but

what happens when these roles are not being fulfilled? Society starts to crumble.

Women in the modern world are trying hard to escape classical femininity and gender

roles but if this disdain for femininity continues, society is in danger of collapsing. If gender

roles were purely man made, then it would be a logical conclusion that not adhering to these

roles would not have much of an effect on the wellbeing of society. But, seeing as gender roles

are not solely man made, not abiding by them is causing a substantial amount of harm because

the natural order is being disrupted. Women are hardly having children (The Pew Research

Center states that 44% of people between the ages of 18 and 49 say it is very unlikely that they

will ever have kids and the main reason they give when asked about this decision is that they

“just do not want to”), they do not get married (according to the Institute for Family Studies,

“35% of the modern American population, 25 to 50, is not married. For reference, in 1970, only

9% of this age group was not married), and they do not stay home if they do have children,

which poorly impacts the mental health and performance of said children (this will be addressed

later). According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics 2020, “81.2% of employed mothers with

children ages 6 to 17 work full time”, and all of these numbers are only expected to go up. The

birth rate could soon be lower than the death rate meaning humanity would not be replenishing

itself. A counter-argument to the lack of babies may be that more people are choosing to not

have children due to costs, and that is true. However, it is an easily fixable and avoidable issue,
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nor is it the main reason (as seen in Figure 1 below). There are so many resources out there to

help people pay for and take care of children. There are about 3,000 pregnancy resource centers

in America alone, and that may not sound like a lot, but for reference, there are about the same

number of Krogers (Gaul). Also, as stated earlier, the true main reason people are not having

children is just aversion to the concept itself. People are rarely getting married, and if they do get

married a divorce is likely. This means that proper family units are not being formed, which

causes extreme instability and mental illness, especially if children come into the picture.

Nowadays, it is a rarity for a woman to get married (and stay married), have children, and stay at

home to raise them, but this is what women have always done and it is what they are physically

made to do. The home is the building block of society, if it is not maintained and cared for

properly the whole community suffers. According to a piece published by Stanford University,

the mental health of children who have a stay-at-home parent is significantly better than those

who do not, they also do better in school, (Andrews). The same applies to children who do not

come from a divorced or single-parent home. According to the National Library of Medicine,

children who are born outside of wedlock or in cohabitation are more likely to experience

instability, which leads to multiple and sometimes extreme mental health issues (D’Onofrio and

Emery).
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Figure 1. Graph representing the reasons people give for not having children. (Brown, Anna)

Women joining the workforce rather than staying home has taken a huge toll on the dating

market, which in turn, has had (and will have) a major impact on society. Women are attracted to

power and status, this makes them very unlikely to date down. However, this is a difficult

standard to meet when more women are graduating from college than men. This aligns with the

findings of the Pew Research Center, which found that 56% of women say that it is difficult to

find someone who meets their standards, which coincides also with the fact that according to the

Bureau of Labor Statistics 2021, 57% of women work. Women, (according to Jordan Peterson,

Ph.D.) generally prefer men who are about four to five years older than them and they tend to

marry up and across dominance scales. Men tend to mate across and down the scale. This is not
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technically a bad thing, it is understandable that women are not looking for a man that they have

to support, nor is it a problem that they want to go to college. But it becomes a problem in terms

of reproduction and the formation of a family. Women cannot find partners, not because there

are not enough men, but because the men are too intimidated by the high-class women, and

because women have placed themselves in positions where there is no one above them. By no

means should women not educate themselves, however, from an objective standpoint it is

negatively impacting relationships. This, again, affects society because proper homes are not

being established. This also relates to the previous statement that if a child comes from a home

that had a single parent, a divorce, working parents, or unmarried parents they have a much

greater chance of being severely mentally ill because they have no stability. If 50% of marriages

end in divorce, 40% of children are born outside of wedlock (Wildsmith), and the majority of

both parents work, the kids are destined for difficulty. Logically, a society cannot function well if

the majority of the people are suffering from childhood trauma-related mental illness.

To discover what it truly means to be a woman, it is necessary to look at what constitutes a

woman from the male perspective. Men are motivated by the feminine ideal. They always have

been. This is perpetuated in almost every book, movie, art piece, and song ever made. This

perspective may even give the most insight into what the feminine mystery is. For example:

literature and television. Rescuing a woman, or obtaining the privilege of marrying a woman

through some sort of feat is a common trope in stories. This female archetype of a damsel in

distress speaks to a higher truth. Men innately want to protect women, and they want to provide

for them. This goes hand in hand with men wanting to show off or seem like the best so that a

female will be interested in them. This also plays into the earlier statement that women like to

marry up and across the dominance scale. Jordan Peterson affirms this assertion in his video
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What Women Don’t Understand About Men. He says, “That’s something women don’t really

understand about men…they are doing everything they can to kneel before the image of the

feminine and try to make themselves worthy,”(Peterson). Men are paralyzed by a beautiful

woman. Partly because they are very visual creatures and partly because finding a beautiful

woman (sex drive) is their biggest motivator. Finding someone to partner with, have a

relationship with, and have children with. That is what it is all about. Humans are made to

reproduce and it is one of the, if not the main, driving factors in life. However, people are no

longer doing this, as established by the above statistics. I was even called brainwashed for

desiring such a thing, as stated in the first paragraph. How men represent women in art is another

example of how men view women. Some of the most famous art pieces in the world are of

beautiful women, romance, or the feminine ideal. According to Monsignor Timothy Verdon, a

priest with a Ph.D. in art history, the Virgin Mary is the most painted woman in history. In art,

she is always depicted as the pinnacle of femininity, no matter what state she is shown in

(Picturing Mary). Much of the western concept of femininity (both the historical, dating back to

Ancient Rome, and modern concepts) can be inferred from Marian images, seeing as they have

been around for almost two thousand years. Mary embodies all of the most prominent female

archetypes (Mother, Queen, Virgin, and Wife). Thus, the expectation of what it means to be a

woman for the last 2000 years (in Western Civilization) can be reflected in her, at least from an

artistic standpoint. For more examples of the feminine ideal in art, there is the Mona Lisa, The

Girl with the Pearl Earring, The Birth of Venus, The Kiss, Ophelia, and The Pieta statue. These

are some of the most famous artworks in the world and they are all of women and painted by

men. Not only of women but of beautiful, graceful, hypnotic, strong women. Art speaks to a

higher truth or a message the artist is trying to convey. If femininity was nonexistent, or purely
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culturally conditioned, it would be expected that in art females would be represented in all sorts

of ways. But that is not what happens. Throughout time, cultures have represented women

fulfilling the same roles in their art. These paintings represent what it means to be a woman, and

what femininity entails: beauty, grace, intrigue, motherhood, romance, gentleness, strength, and

support. Again, all of this reflects the findings of the aforementioned studies on the

psychological and biological predisposition to these roles and attributes.

Women also literally keep men alive and healthy, just by being there. For men, it is almost

an absolute necessity to have some sort of relationship with a female, preferably as a wife. Men

are more likely to live longer and be better people all around if they have a constant female

presence in their lives. Married men are less likely to commit crimes or be aggressive in general.

According to an article titled Men Without Women, “... more than four times as many unattached

men as married men (ages 20–74) die of tuberculosis. At ages 20–44, five to six times as many

unmarried men as husbands die of influenza and pneumonia. Prior to mid-life, nine divorced men

are victims of cirrhosis of the liver to each married man killed by that disease,” (Harris). Multiple

scientific studies have repeatedly shown that men with strong female influencers are more

charitable. Meaning, that it has been scientifically proven that women soften men and their

presence changes them for the better, which coincides with the age-old role of mother and

nurturer.

So, in conclusion, what does it mean to be a woman, and is femininity solely culturally

conditioned? Keeping all of this research in mind, one could reasonably say (with credible

scientific backing) that to be a true woman is to be kind, motherly, modest, loving, gentle, strong,

a force to be reckoned with, a queen, and a princess. To be the level-headed lady of the house

and the instructor of the children. To be a woman is to keep the family and society alive.
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Femininity is not socially conditioned, nor is it a result of oppression. On the contrary, femininity

has been scientifically proven to be innate, biological, and psychological.

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