The Heroine’s Journey Workbook

The
Heroine’s Journey
Workbook
A M A P FOR E V E RY
WOM A N’ S QU E ST

Maureen Murdock
Shambhala Publications, Inc.
4720 Walnut Street
Boulder, Colorado 80301
www.shambhala.com

© 1998 by Maureen Murdock

This edition published in 2020.

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Cover and interior design by Kate E. White

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the libr ary of congr ess cata logues the

pr evious edition of this book as follows:
Murdock, Maureen. The heroine’s journey workbook / by Maureen Murdock.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 1-57062-255-8 (pbk.: alk. paper)
ISBN 978-1-61180-831-5 (2020 reissue)
1. Women—Psychology.  2. Femininity.  3. Sex role.  I. Title.
HQ1206.M85 1998 97-42875
305.4—dc21 CIP
For my sister and dear friend
Rosemary
J
Contents

Acknowledgments ix 2 . T H E ROA D OF T R I A L S 27
Psyche and Eros 30
I N T RODUC T ION 1 Allies 34
Using This Book 7 Adversaries 35
Questions for Writing and Reflection 9 Ally Exercise 37
Guided Imagery: Lifeline 9 Adversary Exercise 38
Questions for Reflection 14 Guided Imagery: The Ally 38
Writing Exercise 14 Writing Exercise: The Ally 39
Dreams: Getting Started 15 Questions for Writing and Reflection 39
Brag Sheet 40
1. S E PA R AT I NG F ROM T H E Writing Exercise: The Adversary 41
F E M I N I N E A N D I D E N T I F Y I NG Dream Associations 41
WITH THE MASCULINE 17
Fathers’ Daughters 21 3 . I N I T I AT ION A N D D E S C E N T 43

Questions for Writing and Reflection: Descent at Midlife 46

You and Your Mother 23 The Myth of Demeter and Persephone 48
Writing Exercises 24 The Descent of Inanna 51
Questions for Writing and Reflection: Guided Imagery: The Descent 57
You and Your Father 24 Questions for Writing and Reflection 61
Writing Exercises 25 Writing Exercise 61
Dream Personalities 26 Severance Ritual: Loss Bundles 61

| vi i
v iii | Cont ent s

Corpse Exercise 63 6 . H E A L I NG T H E WOU N D E D

Dream Interpretation 63 M A S C U L I N E 10 3
Masculine Dream Figures 106
Questions for Writing and Reflection 110
4 . U RGE N T Y E A R N I NG T O Guided Imagery: Inner Protector 111
R E C ON N E C T W I T H T H E Art Activity: Protector Shield 112
F E M I N I N E 6 5 Art Activity: Collage of the
Body-Spirit Split 67 Important Men in Your Life 112
Woman as Creator 69 Table of Feminine and Masculine
The Handless Maiden 70 Traits 112
Art Activity: Spirit Dolls 74 Dream Groups 115
Questions for Writing and
Reflection 77
Art Activity: Collage of Important 7. T H E S AC R E D M A R R I AGE 117
Women in Your Life 78 Gawain and Lady Ragnell 119
Personal Rituals 79 Ritual: Circle of Stones 122
Archetypal Dream Images 81 Art Activity: Masks 123
Ritual: The Sacred Marriage 126
Dreams 130
5 . H E A L I NG T H E MO T H E R-
DAUGH T E R S PL I T 83
Woman as Mythmaker 85 8 . C ONC LU S ION 131
Taking Back the Dark: Reclaiming Questions for Writing and Reflection 131
the Madwoman 86 Writing Exercise: Your Personal Myth 133
Tasks in Healing Your Feminine Guided Imagery: Mandala 136
Nature 91 Dreams 137
Ritual: Healing the Mother-Daughter
Split 93 Notes 139
Guided Imagery: Womanline 95 Selected Bibliography 143
Dream Rituals 100 Credits 145
Acknowledgments

No heroine journeys alone. It always takes an array of allies and adversaries

to make any perilous journey. Here I’ll acknowledge my allies (some of whom
also function as adversaries, as every good mythmaker knows!). Special thanks
to my editor at Shambhala, Emily Hilburn Sell, who restored my faith in pub-
lishing and made me laugh; Susan King, who read most of the manuscript and
encouraged me to meander when I was stuck; Anita Swanson and Saralie Liner,
writers themselves, who gave suggestions about tone and content; Amber Copi-
low, who accompanied me on early-morning walks and mental wanderings; my
daughter, Heather, for her insightful reading and comments; my son, Brendan,
for understanding my highs and lows and sending me his own allies for support;
and my editor, Margaret Ryan, for making the Bricklayer’s Daughter laugh.
I also want to acknowledge the thousands of women and men, girls and
boys who have journeyed with me in Heroine’s Journey workshops, dream
groups, teen groups, and writing classes over the past thirty years. Their in-
trepid journeys and their generous permission to use their stories and dreams
inspired me to offer these exercises to more people.
Thanks to my workshop partner, the artist Valerie T. Bechtol, for shar-
ing her notes on the spirit doll and maskmaking exercises that she created
and her expertise in both, as well as to Flor Fernandez, Donna DeLuca, Eliz-
abeth Waters, and Layne Redmond, who taught with me at Omega Institute.
Thanks to Carol Pearson for teaching with me at Naropa. Thanks to Linda

| ix
x | Ack now l edgment s

Venis and Ray Montalvo at the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program and to my
colleagues Celeste Torrens, Terry Binkowitz, Nancee Redmond, and Leon
and Linda Weber for their support. Thanks to Sally McKissick for proofread-
ing the manuscript, to Victoria Wertheimer for her genius on computers, and
to Nora Dvosin, Henry Murray, and Lewin Wertheimer for providing comic
relief.
Thanks also to Elisa Cabal for her dreams, Charles Goodman for offering
a clear mirror, Fernando Mata for his healing hands, Judith Stone for her won-
derful perspective on life, and Lucien Wulsin, Jr., for being a catalyst. Many
thanks to the poets and artists who gave generously of their time and talent to
this book: Joanne Battiste, Tina Michelle Datsko, Marti Glenn, Fiona O’Con-
nell, and Anna Pomaska.
Finally, my gratitude to the teachers who took me by the hand and pointed
the way: Polly McVickar, Adelaide Fogg, Jean Houston, Joseph Campbell, and
Thich Nhat Hanh.
The Heroine’s Journey Workbook
Introduction

The task for today’s woman is to heal the wounding of the feminine
that exists deep within herself and the culture.
—M AU R EEN M U R DOCK , The Heroine’s Journey

Most of us spend our lifetime trying to tease meaning out of the circumstances
of our lives. We search for meaning as we tell the story about how and where we
grew up, who our parents were, how the significant people in our lives influenced
us, what challenges and obstacles we faced, and how we dealt with triumph and
failure. The story we tell ourselves and others gives us a sense of identity. It helps
us organize our life in a way that gives it meaning and direction.
In adulthood, we look for maps or guidelines that give us clues about our
development through the stages of life. We look at how the events of early child-
hood and adolescence influence the choices we make in adulthood, midlife, and
elderhood. We look around us for mentors who are consciously navigating their
own journeys. We search for a sense of belonging within our community; we
wonder about our purpose and how we fit into the larger picture, and if there is,
indeed, a larger picture.
Our personal myth—or story—provides a way for us to understand our
origins, who we are, where we belong, and whether our life has meaning. If we
can be aware of our own story as it unfolds, we have a better chance of under-
standing and making friends with our lives. Mythic patterns provide guidelines
or maps. A personal myth is a constellation of beliefs, feelings, and images that
is organized around a core theme and addresses one of the domains within
which mythology traditionally functions. These are:

| 1
 2 | In troduct ion

M E A N I NG: the urge to comprehend the natural world in a

meaningful way;
M A P: the search for a marked pathway through the succeeding
epochs of human life;
TR I BE: the need to establish security and fulfilling relationships
within a community; and
PL ACE: the longing to know one’s part in the vast wonder and
mystery of the universe.

A personal myth asks why am I here, how do I make my way through life,
what tribe do I belong to, and where do I fit in the greater scheme of things. A
personal myth is not a set script in which we enact a role; our personal myth
evolves over time. D. Stephenson Bond writes, “Over a lifetime we don’t so
much live out of a personal myth as live out the death and rebirth of a personal
myth. We fall into and out of myth several times over the course of a lifetime.
The core experience remains but over a lifetime must be worked and reworked.”1
Gender, culture, economic background, and religious beliefs inform our
personal mythology and the symbols and rites that carry our myth forward.
In a time when cultural myths about women and men are be-
ing challenged on every front and there is a political and re-
One can perceive one’s life
ligious impetus to return to scripts of the past, many people
as a story, unfolding in a
are searching for a deeper understanding of their own story.
spiraling series of experiences
It is therefore important for us to look to ancient myths for
each having the three-phase
wisdom and inspiration and to explore the patterns of ancient
form of separation/ordeal-
myth for possible direction.
learning process/return.
The mythic pattern we will be exploring in this book is
—LI N DA SUSSM A N
the journey of the heroine, the quest to heal the deep wound-
ing of our feminine nature on a personal, cultural, and spir-
itual level. As women, we take a psycho-spiritual journey to become whole,
integrating all parts of our nature. Sometimes this journey is conscious, but in
many cases it is not.
I wrote The Heroine’s Journey in 1990 to describe the stages of woman’s expe-
rience of the mythic quest. I had spent years studying with and working with Jo-
seph Campbell; his work with the journey of the hero inspired my desire to write
something that was particular to the feminine journey. Since that time, I have re-
 I n tr o d u cti o n | 3

ceived thousands of letters from women (and some men) all over the world asking
for guidance in making the journey conscious. Hence, this workbook.
This journey begins with an initial separation from the feminine as the
heroine separates from her mother and searches for an identity in a masculine-
defined culture. She develops both masculine skills and allies to help her carve
out her niche in a product-oriented, competitive environment. She puts on her
armor, picks up her sword, chooses her swiftest steed, and goes into battle. Along
the way, she travels the road of trials as she faces challenges to overcome the myths
of female inferiority, dependency, and romantic love as she strives for the illusory
boon of success—an advanced degree, a vested corporate position, relationship,
money, political power—promised by the culture.
After making it in a man’s world or becoming bloodied in an attempt to do
so, the heroine experiences a deep feeling of spiritual aridity. She has achieved
everything she set out to achieve and looks for the next hurdle to jump, the next
promotion, the next relationship, filling every spare moment with doing. She
begins to ask, “What is all of this for? I’ve achieved everything I’ve set out to
achieve and I feel empty. What have I lost?” What she may have lost is a deep
relationship to herself.
During the next part of the journey, the heroine goes through an initi-
ation and descent to the goddess to reclaim the depths of her lost feminine
soul. This stage may involve a seemingly endless period of wandering, grief,
and rage, of looking for the lost pieces of herself and meeting the dark femi-
nine. It may take weeks, months, or years, and for many it may involve a period
of voluntary isolation (a period of silence) during which she learns to listen
deeply to her soul. The heroine yearns to reconnect with her feminine nature
and to heal the mother-daughter split, the wound that occurred with the initial
rejection of the feminine. This may or may not involve an actual healing of the
relationship between a woman and her personal mother. A healing does occur,
however, within the woman herself as she begins to nurture her body and soul
and reclaim her feelings, intuition, sexuality, creativity, and humor.
She then begins to identify the disowned, wounded parts of her masculine
nature and finally learns to integrate and balance all aspects of her being. In this
process, the heroine becomes a spiritual warrior. She must learn the delicate art
of balance and have the patience for the slow, subtle integration of the feminine
and masculine aspects of herself. She first hungers to lose her feminine self and
4 | In troduct ion

to merge with the masculine, and once she has done this, she begins to realize
that this is neither the answer nor the end. She must not discard nor give up what
she has learned throughout her heroic quest, but must learn to view her hard-
earned skills and successes not so much as the goal but as one part of the entire
journey. She will then begin to use these skills to work toward the larger quest of
bringing consciousness to others to preserve the balance of life on earth.
This journey, like the journey of the hero delineated by Joseph Campbell
in The Hero with a Thousand Faces, describes the individuation process. Indi-
viduation refers to the lifelong process of becoming the complete human be-
ing we were meant to be. It reveals our special, individual nature.2 Campbell

Separation from
Integration of the feminine
masculine and
feminine Identification with
the masculine and
gathering of allies
Healing the
wounded masculine

THE Road of trials:

HEROINE’S meeting ogres and
Healing the JOURNEY dragons
mother/daughter
split
Finding the illusory
boon of success
Urgent yearning to
reconnect with the
feminine
Awakening to feelings
Initiation and of spiritual aridity:
descent to the death
Goddess

The heroine’s journey begins with “Separation from the feminine”

and ends with “Integration of masculine and feminine.”
 I n tr o d u cti o n | 5

explored this process through the stages of the myth of the hero, the journey
of a man (or woman) who has been able to battle past his personal and local
historical limitations to a new, emergent human form. The hero responds to a
Call to Adventure, crosses the Threshold into unknown realms, meets Allies or
supernatural guides who assist him in his journey, and confronts Adversaries or
Threshold Guardians who try to block his progress. The hero then experiences
an Initiation in the Belly of the Whale, a series of Trials that
test his skills and resolve before he can find the treasure or
It has always been the prime
Boon he seeks. He meets a mysterious partner in the form of a
function of mythology and rite
Goddess, enters into a Sacred Marriage, and embarks upon a
to supply the symbols that carry
Return journey across the threshold to bring back to the peo-
the human spirit forward, in
ple the treasure he has found. This hero’s journey is a search
counteraction to those other
for the soul and is chronicled in mythologies and fairy tales
constant human fantasies that
throughout the world.
tend to hold it back.
It is the familiar tale of the knight who hears that the
—JOSEPH CA M PBELL ,
king is in trouble, sharpens his sword, mounts his steed, and
Primitive Mythology
goes in search of lost treasure or knowledge to renew the king-
dom. Along the way, he outwits ogres, slays dragons, finds the
treasure, and falls in love with a beautiful maiden. He makes his way back to the
kingdom with the boon of his success, restores the king, and, if he is lucky, gets
to spend a weekend in bed with his lady love before taking off to slay another
dragon. Variations on this pattern of the heroic quest have been lived out by
countless men and women of all cultures and used as a blueprint by screenwrit-
ers and novelists alike to give the lives of their characters meaning. But it does
not adequately describe the woman’s journey, because our task at this time is
to heal the deep wounding of the feminine within ourselves and in the culture.
I am what is called a father’s daughter—a woman who has identified
primarily with her father, oftentimes rejecting her mother; a woman who has
sought attention and approval not only from her personal father but also from
the culture at large by aspiring to succeed according to masculine values. The
Heroine’s Journey is described from the point of view of a father’s daughter. Al-
though not every woman reading this book is a father’s daughter in relationship
to her personal father, I agree with the Jungian analyst Marion Woodman when
she writes that most of us are fathers’ daughters in relation to the predominantly
masculine culture in which we live.
6 | In troduct ion

The model presented here does not necessarily fit the experience of all
women of all ages, nor is it limited only to women. It addresses the journeys of
both genders. It describes the experience of many people who strive to be ac-
tive and make a contribution in the world, but who also fear what our progress-
oriented society has done to the human psyche and to the ecological balance
of the planet. Movement through these stages is not linear; it is cyclic and will
most likely be repeated many times during a person’s lifetime. You might also
find yourself working on more than one stage of development at a time. The
Heroine’s Journey is a continuous cycle of development, growth, and learning.
You may find that some parts apply to you and others do not. Use part or all of
it as a blueprint for your own development.
Before we begin to explore the stages of the Heroine’s Journey in depth,
however, we must address the changing definitions of heroism and how cultural
myths have influenced our perceptions about ourselves as women. The role of
heroine has entailed accomplishing great tasks at the risk of endangering one’s
safety, security, health, and relationships (think of Joan of Arc and Florence
Nightingale). Women who were able to “do it all,” “be all things to all people,”
were admired and applauded, if not economically rewarded. Their focus was on
accomplishment and service—the more they did, the more tasks they crossed
off their list, the more value they felt they earned. The model of the smartly
dressed woman juggling briefcase and baby formula in courtrooms and board-
rooms across the land became the goal of many young women, particularly in
the 1970s and 1980s. A woman who did not achieve this type of external recog-
nition and success often felt a deep sense of loss, or even failure.
The myth of female inferiority and dependency of the fifties and early six-
ties was traded for the myth of the superwoman of the eighties and nineties.
Those women who sought political, economic, and spiritual equality with men
in academia, business, and home felt an initial rush from their daily successes
but eventually began to experience a weariness in their hearts. Burnout and di-
vorce took a toll on their health, and the struggle for individual achievement
lost its allure. With this shift, the definition of heroism demanded a change as
well—from striving to satisfy the demands of the cacophony of outer voices to
learning to balance personal, family, and professional lives and listen to the still
voice within.
 I n tr o d u cti o n | 7

USING T H IS BOOK

This workbook is written to guide you through the different stages of the Her-
oine’s Journey. It will function much like the workshops I have conducted with
women from ages thirteen to eighty-six throughout North America, Europe,
and Mexico. It can be used with a group of women or by yourself. Together,
we will explore each stage of the journey and look at the myths and fairy tales
that illustrate these stages. The chapters include questions for you to consider
about your development as a woman, as well as guided imagery, writing, and
art exercises that will bring clarity and understanding to your journey. You may
wish to purchase a special journal or notebook in which to do the writing and
art exercises and record your dreams.
You may find it helpful to read the text of the entire book first to un-
derstand the path of the Heroine’s Journey and then go back to explore the
exercises in depth. Or you may choose to focus on one chapter at a time and
work on the exercises in that chapter until you have completed them. Take
your time with the exercises. Do them at your own pace and choose a time in
which you will not be interrupted—you may want to schedule the same time
each week.
You will find that the material suggested in the exercises serves as a spring-
board to evoke more memories, dreams, and insights. It is easy to become over-
whelmed. You may wish to put the book down for a while and come back to it
later. Movement through the stages is cyclic, and movement through the exer-
cises is cyclic as well. Many issues will be examined at different levels throughout
the book.
Work with the exercises sequentially or choose those within each chapter
that you are most drawn to or most strongly resist. Most of us find that our
greatest insights come from doing what we most strongly resist. Suggestions
will be given about rituals you may wish to create to deepen the process.
It has been my experience that people who attend Heroine’s Journey work-
shops get annoyed, judgmental, and angry on the third day, or whichever day
we begin the descent. You may find that as you work with the descent material
in chapter 3, you want to close the book and stop the process. Don’t. Be kind
to yourself and take a deep breath. Make yourself a cup of tea or go for a walk.
 8 | In troduct ion

Support yourself with love and compassion. Never judge yourself. Be patient
with your process and make a commitment to work through the issues inherent
in the descent in your own timing. By doing so, I promise that you will curtail
your stay in the underworld!
You may want to share your insights with a friend or
partner, or you may want to keep the entire experience pri-
Awakenings require a woman
vate. That is your personal decision. As you read this book, feel
to respond consciously, to
free to underline passages, write notes to yourself, or doodle
accept the invitation to create
in the margins.
herself anew, and to undertake
Your dreams will become an integral part of your jour-
the challenge no matter how
ney, helping you to understand your own personal mythol-
frightened or inadequate she
ogy. You can get a glimpse of mythic patterns in your dreams.
may feel. Thus each awakening
Please record them either by pen or recorder and consider the
call demands not only that it be
wisdom they offer about your story and the challenges you are
heard, but that the woman find
being given to support your soul’s growth.
the courage to trust and affirm
The basic function of dreams is to express the uncon-
the call whenever it arises,
scious. The unconscious is the source of much of our thought,
wherever it takes her, and
feeling, and behavior and has a powerful influence on us in
however much it challenges her
ways we do not suspect. The unconscious communicates to
way of being in the world.
our conscious mind through dreams and imagination.
—K AT H L EEN NOBL E
Images in dreams should not be taken literally but seen
as symbols of parts of yourself and dynamics within your in-
ner life. Robert Johnson writes, “Dreams show us, in symbolic form, all the dif-
ferent personalities that interact within us and make up our total self.”3 Each
character in your dream is an aspect of yourself revealing its own conscious-
ness, desires, and point of view. 4
Your dream symbols have a special individual meaning that belongs to
you alone, just as the dream is ultimately yours. Pay attention to the person-
alities, symbols, and landscapes that repeat. Your unconscious is trying to get
your attention. The point of recording your dreams and learning from them is
to build consciousness. As you become versed in the symbols of your dream
life, you will find hidden strengths and resources to help you on your journey.
You may wish to acquaint yourself with books that provide an in-depth study of
dreams: Inner Work by Robert A. Johnson and Wisdom of the Heart by Karen A.
Signell are two excellent resources. Let us begin.
 I n tr o d u cti o n | 9

QUESTIONS FOR WRITING A ND RE F LEC TION

Write your response to the following questions in your journal. Throughout the
book, write as much or as little as you want in response to the questions and ex-
ercises. If you would prefer to speak your responses into a recorder so that you
can listen to the sound of your own voice, please do so.

*  Each one of us is a heroine. Who are the heroines in your life and how
do you see yourself as heroic?
*   As you look at the diagram of the Heroine’s Journey on page 4, can you
locate yourself? Are you exploring more than one stage at once?

GUIDED IM AGERY: LI F ELINE

Before beginning this exercise and other guided imagery exercises in this work-
book, gather your recorder or writing or art supplies to record your images af-
ter you have completed the visualization. You may wish to use journal or art
pad, markers, crayons, pastels, or pens. You may also wish to play a recording
of soothing music such as Gymnosphere: Song of the Rose by Jordan de la Sierra.
In this exercise you will look at the events of your childhood, adolescence,
and early adulthood and see how your relationship to your body, mind, emo-
tions, and spirit has influenced your life journey. Notice in particular what you
have perceived as your strengths, skills, accomplishments, and innate gifts.
Be aware of how your position in the family influenced your actions and
beliefs about yourself and how your relationship with each parent, sibling, and
grandparent colored how you felt about yourself. Did the experience of divorce
or a parent’s death leave you in a position of authority or crippled by loss? What
was your relationship to friends, teachers, and people in authority? Did an early
illness or accident affect your perception of yourself? How did the gender as-
signed to you at birth, your culture, and your religious background influence
your personal mythology?
Sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Begin to breathe in and
out through your nostrils, giving yourself the suggestion that with each exha-
lation you become more and more relaxed. With each exhalation you move
1 0 | In troduct ion

into deeper and deeper levels of consciousness, where more images and mem-
ories are accessible to you. Now take a deep breath . . . hold it . . . and relax your
breath with a slight sigh. Good. Let’s do that again. Take a deep breath . . . hold
it . . . relax. Good. Again, take a deep breath . . . hold it . . . and relax. Good. Now
breathe at your own rate and imagine, if you will, that you are moving back in
time to sometime in your early childhood, perhaps the time when you were
five years old.
Now, still with your eyes closed, look down at your five-year-old feet. No-
tice the color and style of your shoes. Notice whether you are wearing lace-up
shoes, sandals, Mary Janes, or whether you are barefoot. Now, become aware of
your five-year-old body, your legs, buttocks, pelvis, belly, chest, back, shoulders,
arms and hands, your neck, face, and hair. How are you wearing your hair as
a young child? Is it short, long, curly, straight? What color is it? Do you have
braids or a ponytail? Become as aware of yourself at five as possible.
Now, become aware of the environment around you. Are you at home, in
nature, in the city, by the seashore? Notice the colors, shapes, smells, tastes, and
sounds in your environment. Perhaps you are with your family. Who are the
important people in your life at this time? Do you have a sibling, a pet, a grand-
parent? Who are the people who appreciate you for who you are? What are you
learning about yourself from how people respond to you?
Now, become aware of your skills at this time in your life. What are you
learning to do? How are you being challenged mentally, artistically, and phys-
ically? What are you curious about? What do you appreciate about yourself?
What do others appreciate about you? How do you feel about yourself as a girl?
What is your relationship to nature, your dreams, your intuition? Do you
have a relationship to spirit as you define it—an angel, God, an imaginary friend?
Become as aware of yourself at five or some important time in your early
childhood as you can. Pause for a minute or more. Now leave your five-year-old
self, and we will gently move forward in time.
Look down now and see your ten-year-old feet. Become aware of the shoes
you are wearing at ten. Notice their color and style. Become aware of your ten-
year-old body—your legs, buttocks, pelvis, chest, back, shoulders, arms and
hands, neck, face, and hair. How are you wearing your hair at ten? What clothes
are you wearing? What skills are you learning with your body? How are you
 I n tr o d u cti o n | 11

challenging yourself? What are you learning about your strength and stamina?
How do you feel about your body, your sexuality?
Now, notice your environment. What are the colors, shapes, smells, tastes,
and sounds in your environment? Who are the important people in your life
now? Who are your friends? What do you do together? What is your relation-
ship with your parents and family?
How do you feel about yourself at this time—self-confident, shy, outgo-
ing, funny? What are you learning about yourself as a girl from the way others
treat you?
How are you challenging your mind and what are you learning? What is
your relationship to learning, to teachers, to your creativity? What are you curi-
ous about? What do you long for?
What is your relationship to spirit . . . to nature . . . to your community?
Are you involved in religious study or your own spiritual rituals, and how does
this nurture you? Become as aware as possible of your ten-year-old self. Pause
one minute or more. Now, leave your ten-year-old self and we will gently move
forward in time to your adolescence.
Now, look down and see your fifteen-year-old feet. Notice the color and
style of your shoes or your bare feet. Become aware of your adolescent body,
your buttocks, pelvic area, belly, chest and breasts, back, shoulders, arms, hands,
neck, face, and hair. Notice how you are wearing your hair and what color it is.
Are you wearing makeup? What style clothes are you wearing? Who are you
dressing for? Notice how you feel about your body—have you started your pe-
riod? How do you feel about your emerging sexuality? Do you have a boyfriend
or a girlfriend? Do you have a secret crush on someone?
Become aware of your environment. What are the colors, shapes, smells,
tastes, and sounds in your environment? What is the music you listen to? Who
are the important people in your life now? Who are your friends? What do you
do together? How do you spend your time? What is your relationship with your
parents and family?
How are you challenging your mind and what are you learning about
yourself both in school and out of school? Do you have a job, and what are you
learning about money?
What is your relationship to teachers, coaches, to those in authority?
1 2 | In troduct ion

What is your relationship to sports and your creativity? What are you cu-
rious about? What do you long for? What are your goals for the future?
How do you feel about yourself at this time? What do people appreciate
about you? What do you appreciate about yourself?
What is your relationship to spirit, to nature, to your own intuition? What
is important to you about your community and your place in it?
Become as aware as possible of yourself as a teenager. Pause one minute.
Now, leave your fifteen-year-old self and let’s move forward in time to your early
twenties.
Look down at the shoes you are wearing sometime in your early twenties.
Notice their color and style. Become aware of your body in your early twenties—
your legs, buttocks, pelvis, chest, breasts, back, shoulders, arms, hands, neck,
face, and hair. How are you wearing your hair at this time? What color is it? What
clothes are you wearing, and how do your clothes or jewelry reflect your role at
this time in your life? What impression are you trying to convey? Are you a stu-
dent, wife, mother, an artist? Are you working? traveling? Are you responsible for
yourself economically?
Notice your environment. What are the colors, shapes, smells, tastes, and
sounds in your environment? Where have you chosen to live—the city, a rural
environment, a small town? Who are the important people in your life? Are
you in a committed relationship? How does this relationship nurture you as
a woman? Who are your friends? How do they reflect your values? How does
your relationship with your parents influence the choices you make?
What is your relationship to your body, your health, your sexuality? Are
you active sexually and do you feel comfortable about expressing yourself as a
sexual woman? What is your relationship to your emotions? Are you comfort-
able feeling and expressing your emotions? Are you comfortable listening to
others?
How are you challenging your mind and what are you learning? What are
your career goals, and how are you developing your creativity? How do you feel
about being a woman at this time politically, spiritually, economically? What
is your relationship to your community, and how do you want to play a part in
it? What is your relationship to spirit, nature, your intuition? What part does
spirituality play in your life? Become as aware as possible of yourself in your
early twenties, remembering what was important to you and how the choices
 I n tr o d u cti o n | 13

you made shaped you as a woman. Pause one minute or more. Now we will leave
early adulthood and move to your early thirties.
Again, look down and notice your feet in your early thirties. What style
and color shoes are you wearing, or are you barefoot? Become aware of your
body in your early thirties—your legs, buttocks, pelvis, chest, breasts, back,
shoulders, arms, hands, neck, face, and hair. How are you wearing your hair
at this time? What color is it? What clothes are you wearing and how do your
clothes and shoes reflect your role at this time in your life? What is your focus
at this time in your life? Are you involved in your career, married, giving birth,
raising children? How does being a mother affect how you feel about yourself as
a woman? What is your relationship to your body and your health? What foods
are important to you now? How do you manage your feelings?
Notice your environment. What are the colors, shapes, smells, tastes, and
sounds in your environment? Where have you chosen to live—the city, a rural
environment, a small town—and with whom? Who are the important people
in your life? Who are your friends? What do they appreciate about you? Are
you in a committed relationship, and how does that relationship challenge and
nurture you?
What is your career? How are you managing your time? How do you set
boundaries? How are you challenging yourself mentally and creatively? What
are your goals and how are you actualizing them? How do you participate in
your community, and what is your relationship to money?
What is your relationship to spirit? Do you have a relationship with divine
spirit within yourself? How do the religious attitudes and beliefs with which
you were raised affect your perception of yourself as a woman? What is your re-
lationship to nature, your dreams, your intuition? Become as aware of yourself
in your early thirties as possible. Let the images of your early thirties wash over
you. Pause for a couple of minutes. Now, we will move on to your early forties.
Repeat the exercise as necessary for your forties, fifties, sixties, seventies,
eighties (up to your present age), paying close attention to your awareness of
your relationship to body, health, mind, creativity, emotions, and spirit, and
how you have nurtured your dreams, strengths, and abilities.
Now, bring your attention to yourself at your present age. Still with your
eyes closed, look down at your feet. What shoes are you wearing today? Become
aware of your body—your legs, buttocks, pelvis, chest, breasts, back, shoulders,
1 4 | In troduct ion

arms, hands, neck, face, and hair. How are you wearing your hair at this time?
What color is it? What clothes are you wearing and how do your clothes reflect
how you feel about yourself as a woman at present? How do you care for your
health, strength, and stamina? How do you feel about your sexuality?
Become aware of the environment in which you have chosen to live and to
work. Notice the colors, shapes, smells, tastes, and sounds in your environment.
What is the music you listen to now? What do you eat? How are you nurtured
by your environment?
What is the focus of your life at the present time—relationship, children,
aging parents, career, artistic or academic goals, spiritual practice? Who are the
important people in your life? What do they appreciate about you? What do
you appreciate about yourself? What are you learning about your emotions and
your mind? Are you comfortable expressing the full range of your emotions?
How are you challenging yourself and being challenged in your work? Do
you feel competent and self-confident? How are you nurturing your creativity?
What is your place in your community? What is your relationship to spirit, to
nature, to your intuition, to your sense of yourself as a woman? What are your
goals for the future?
Become aware of yourself at the present time. (Pause several minutes.) As
you slowly bring yourself back to full waking consciousness, review the stages
of your life, allowing the important images and memories to surface once again.
In a moment, but not quite yet, count silently to ten. Open your eyes at ten,
feeling relaxed and alert.
Draw, record, or write down all of the images that came to you during this
exercise, whether or not you think they are important. Some of the images and
feelings that emerged may be joyful; others may be surprising or painful. Give
yourself permission to harvest all of the memories in detail, because you will
find them helpful in working with other exercises throughout the book.

QUESTIONS FOR RE F LE C TION

*  What have been the turning points or threshold experiences in your life?
For example, a geographical move, parents’ divorce, grandparent’s death,
childhood illness, incest, or accident, being accepted or rejected by a
 I n tr o d u cti o n | 15

certain group at school, learning to play an instrument, being banned

from playing Little League softball because you’re a girl, your first sexual
experience, getting pregnant as a teenager, marriage, or giving birth.
*  How did you respond to these turning points?
*  In what way have you turned stressful experiences into positive
growth experiences? Focus on your strength, creativity, and stamina
as a result of any wounding.
*  What did you learn about yourself and the people close to you?
*  Are there any patterns that you have repeated at different stages of
your life (victim of circumstances, martyr, peacemaker, seductress,
drama queen, etc.)? Are these patterns satisfying or frustrating?

WRITING EXERC ISE

Choose a threshold experience or turning point in your life and write about it in
as much detail as possible. What was the road not taken?

J
DRE A MS: GETTING STA RTED

In working with your dreams, it is helpful to have a flashlight, dream jour-

nal with a pen, or a recorder next to your bed. Everyone dreams every night,
but many people think they don’t dream because they don’t remember their
dreams. Remembering a dream is a conscious practice, just like brushing your
teeth. Writing it down or recording it helps facilitate the process.
The best time to catch a dream image is in the morning when you first
wake up. Lie absolutely still and let the images from the night before rise to the
surface of your consciousness. Don’t move. I try to replay the dream images,
somewhat like a movie, before I roll over. I find that once I move or reach for my
dream journal, I frequently forget the dream. Once I have the dream image or
narrative in my mind, I write it down. As I write, I often remember details of the
dream I did not recall at first. I try to pay attention to the feelings in my body
that the dream evokes or the memories that emerge.
 1 6 | In troduct ion

A dream can be considered in two ways: what it reflects

How might your life have about your everyday life, and what it says about your inner life.
been different if there had Sometimes you will get a sense of what the dream means when
been a place for you . . . a place you record it; at other times you have to work with the associ-
of women, where you were ations specific dream images provoke before you understand
received and affirmed? A place the dream’s meaning. More will be said about working with
where other women, perhaps dream associations in chapter 2.
somewhat older, had been Each night as you fall asleep, you may wish to prepare
affirmed before you, each in her for dream recall by giving yourself the suggestion that you
time, affirmed, as she struggled remember your dreams easily. Record each image you re-
to become more truly herself. . . . member no matter how insignificant; it is a way to begin the
—J U DIT H DU ER K process. Even a short, seemingly insignificant dream is trying
to tell you something you need to know. Sometimes the “lit-
tle” dreams have the most profound messages.

J
r ecor d the dr ea ms you have while wor king with this chapter.