Sequential Thematic Organization of Publications

The Beginnings of STOP Storyboarding and the Modular Proposal
by WALTER S. STARKEY
Proposal History
To separate fact from fanciful folklore, we asked Walter Starkey, co-author of the 1965 STOP Manual, to reect on the genesis of that legendary manual and its then-revolutionary technique.
ecause proposal storyboarding began at Hughes-Fullerton (a division of Hughes Aircraft Company), I have been asked a number of times whether storyboarding was imported from Hollywood to the proposal management profession under the personal auspices of Howard Hughes. That is a fetching myth, but it is not the way the STOP (Sequential Thematic Organization of Publications) storyboarding technique began. To the best of my knowledge, Howard Hughes never graced Hughes-Fullertons hallways, and movie-making inuence had nothing to do with the conception and gestation of STOP. The STOP technique, which eventually permeated much of the defense/aerospace industry as the preferred proposal development approach, began as a simple formatting idea, which then became the nucleus for a cluster of strategizing, composition, and publication disciplines focused on managing the complex task of proposal development.
Often, just getting the books off the presses in time to hustle them onto a last-chance, redeye ight was a victory in itself.
Under these circumstances, the hope of instilling qualities such as strategic unity and overall coherence into a proposal were dim at best. Often, just getting the books off the presses in time to hustle them onto a last-chance, red-eye ight was a victory in itself. Under particularly desperate schedules, niceties such as pre-print buyoff had to be forgone, and a scramble to deliver errata sheets followed hot on the heels of proposal delivery. At the climax of one short-fused proposal effort, I remember spending a long night in the print shop at Hughes-Fullerton, eyeballing pages for glitches as they came off the press while Jim Tracey sat next to me typing errata sheets that were printed on the spot and bundled up for delivery in the same package as the proposal volumes themselves. I will resist the temptation to regale the reader with early-60s war stories, since anyone who was in the proposal business in that era could match them or top them with stories of their own. Even those who were not can appreciate the urgent need of publications specialists for some way to cope with the overwhelming matrix of dilemmas confronting them: How could the individual contributions of dozens or scores of authors be brought into line with the strategies management had in mind for the proposal? How could the proposal manager guard against unpleasant surprises when the authors inputs nally reached his desksurprises that could activate managements panic button by exposing the need for agonizing, eleventh-hour revisions? How could each author be assured that he was not spinning his wheels when he knuckled down to generate his inputs (i.e., that he was writing more...
The Dilemma
For people in the business of writing, editing, and producing engineering publications in the defense/aerospace industry, the early 1960s were an era of daunting challenges. Within the rst two or three years of the decade, the relatively small engineering report lost its place as the chief publication product. Such reports had usually stemmed from the activities and intellect of a single author, or at most a handful of authors, and moved through the publication process at a sedate pace. With the seeming abruptness of a seismic event as our nations military commands became increasingly ravenous for complex computerbased systems, engineering reports were supplanted by sales proposals typically running hundreds and sometimes thousands of pages. These proposals were generated by a large, multi-discipline author corps, and were driven by Red-Alert schedules imposed by the procuring customer (Department of Defense agencies or other equally demanding customers).
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STOP Storyboarding
what the proposal manager really wanted)? How could the strong points of the companys approach be made glaringly clear to the proposal evaluator? How could the publications specialist make any meaningful contribution to the editorial caliber of the proposal? As it turned out, workable (but not fail-proof) answers to these dilemmas were afforded by the storyboarding, composition, critiquing, troubleshooting, and editing disciplines embodied in the STOP process. The STOP disciplines, of course, did not, like Pallas Athena, instantaneously appear in full battle array from the head of one individual or the collective heads of a group of tech-pub specialists and proposal managersbut they did germinate at a pace that seems breathtaking in retrospect once the seed of the approach was planted. An early impetus for the origination of this new publications approach came from a tough-minded program manager named Mike Rapport. The proposal he was charged with developing represented an entree into a product area deemed by Hughes-Fullertons management luminaries to be crucially important to the companys future. With the spotlight on him, a ery determination to make Hughes proposal stand out from those of the competition marked Mikes discussion of his proposal plans with Jim Tracey and Dave Rugh. Tracey headed the publications group where Rugh worked as writing supervisor and I worked as editing supervisor, and which served the proposal needs of Hughes-Fullertons Data Processing Products Division and Systems Division.
Figure 1. This photograph shows an early-days storyboarding session at HughesFullerton.
There seems to be a natural passage length that is completely compatible with treating a specic topic within the connes of a two-page module.
In early 1963, Tracey, Rugh, and Rapport considered a number of approaches to making the proposal distinctive. At one point, I believe, Mike advocated some sort of comic-book treatment (my apologies to him if my memory is wrong), which clearly would have been too frivolous for proposal purposes. Finally, Traceys suggestion of a modular approach won Mikes endorsement. The notion was to construct the proposal entirely of two-page modules, with text and any associated visual facing each other. Such a format, they agreed, would offer important reader advantages, and would certainly distinguish the proposal from any that had come down the pike thus far.
The Two-Page Module Evolves

Shortly after the meeting with Mike Rapport, Tracey convened our group for an after-hours brainstorming session to explore where the modular-proposal idea might take us. The response was
enthusiastic. I voiced the thought that the two-page modules could be treated as self-contained themes, akin to college bluebooks. Others were quick to point out that treating them that way would help us to exploit some of the proven techniques of expository/persuasive composition that were often lost in the fog of loosely structured proposal discourse (e.g., clearly identifying the subject and its relevance, sticking to it, making a strategically persuasive point about Hughes approach to the issues pertinent to it, and presenting an argument to prove this point via the modules text and visual). The desirable thematic character of the modules later led to the appellation Sequential Thematic Organization of Publications, and STOP was born. It seemed probable that working at the level of two-page modules could solve a lot of problems in proposal-cadre communication. An author could jot down a paragraph outline for his module (call it a storyboard, somebody said) and include a rough version of his visual. His storyboard, along with related storyboards from other authors, could then be pinned up and reviewed jointly by manager, editor, author, and anyone else concerned with the subject (Figure 1 shows an early-days storyboarding session at Hughes-Fullerton). The authors argument could be honed by discussing its pros and cons, and he could walk away with a markedup storyboard like that shown in Figure 2, reecting what input the manager really wanted. In other words, the module could be revised at the outline level before the author invested his time and energy in the difcult chore of composing it. What a boon that could be! I wish I could remember everyone who took part in that rst brainstorming session, because, as things worked out, the meeting proved to be a momentous one. Writers and editors included Walt Starkey, Dave Rugh, Dave Gater, Mal Gable, Stu Jones, Ailleen Lang, Carole McCorkindale, and Larry McCollum. Art supervisor Jack Hunt and production supervisor Dorothy Morico also took part. I left the meeting, as I know others did, exhilarated by the feeling that we had hold of an idea that could
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STOP Storyboarding
The notion was to construct the proposal entirely of two-page modules, with text and any associated visual facing each other.
Relative to the rst objection, Dave Gater and others did yeoman work in local libraries checking word counts of passages in various genres. Happily for the practicality of the two-page module, they discovered that many authors tend to change the subject on themselves after every 400 to 1,000 words. The clues are easy to spot: subheadings, phrases such as On the other hand, Another problem is Having determined that, the next step is, etc. There Figure 2. This is a sample of a marked-up storyboard showing the author the pros and cons of his seems to be a natural passage length or her argument. that is completely compatible with treating a specic topic within the connes of a two-page module. reshape our professional lives in a rewarding way. We did not (Incidentally, we began referring to the modules as topics early on, think of the meeting as the rst shot of a revolution in proposal and I will call them that for the rest of this article.) development at that moment, but we later became fond of thinkThe objection to mandatory visualization was overcome by ing of it in that light. inventiveness at the storyboard wall. A visual does not have to be Everyone at the meeting deserves credit for their constructive a gure. Building on the line of argument in the text (or theme ideas about implementing the modular approach and their efforts body, as we began calling it), we learned to develop several kinds of putting them into practice in the ensuing weeks, as we applied of verbal visuals, all of which could illuminate and support a given the approach to Mike Rapports proposal and to two others that argument. Examples are the dot and indented-dash list, which were active at the time. amounts to an X-ray view of the entire argument, and the dialecHaving acknowledged that, I want to make it clear that withtic verbal visual (problem vs. proposed solution, trade-off candiout Jim Traceys inuence, the STOP approach would not have date vs. advantages and disadvantages, key requirements vs. taken root and ourished as it did. Jim passed away shortly after Hughes approach, etc.). These turned out to be valuable browshis retirement in 1989, but those of us who worked with him ing aids for the evaluator. share indelible memories of his stubborn dedication to improving the quality of the proposal product.
The Challenge of Establishing a Standard

As we launched our campaign to establish the modular approach as the standard for Hughes-Fullerton proposals, the motto of our publications group was sell STOP. Two aspects of the approach raised objections in some parts of the engineering community. First, limiting the discussion of a subject to the word count accommodated by a two-page spread appeared to some authors to infringe on their freedom to thoroughly develop their subject Second, other authors objected that mandatory visualization was an articial requirement on the grounds that some subjects simply did not call for or support a gure.
Implementation Brought Improvements
Figure 3 shows several of the features that distinguish STOP topics. These features were incorporated one after another in the course of developing a fair number of proposals. A phrasestructured topic title that suggests the authors intention or attitude about a subject replaced the conventional, simple noun title of the subject almost immediately. Topic tie-back references under the title, which lead the evaluator from the topic back to his own requirements documentation, also appeared almost immediately. The two-part gure caption (a Tracey invention), which adds a strategic commentary about more...
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STOP Storyboarding
Figure 3 shows several of the features that distinguish STOP topics. These features were incorporated one after another in the course of developing a fair number of proposals.
the gure to its noun title, came a little later. Shortly after that, Mal Gable invented the balloon rubric, which uses a comicstrip type of balloon to draw the evaluators attention to some signicant feature of the gure. Although we had all appreciated the thesis-driven nature of STOP topics for some time, several months went by before I wrote the rst thesis sentences ever published in a proposal. The thesis sentence (displayed via bold type, underlining, or some such device) summarizes the main strategic point of each topic, hopefully leading the evaluator to mentally challenge the author to prove it, which, again hopefully, the theme body and visual proceed to do. (After I had written thesis sentences for the 50 or so topics in that rst proposal, I copied them out in order, added some connective tissue, and found myself with a concise two-page summary of the proposal. This convinced us that if we displayed thesis sentences in all topics, an evaluator could gain a fair grasp of the thrust of a proposal just by reading them before delving into the details.) These focusing features phrase-structured title, verbal visual, gure, two-part caption, thesis sentence found high favor among proposal evaluators.
the proposal effort that too much time would be spent in the reviews before the actual composition task could begin. This objection faded away as it became clear that because each topic was a self-contained theme, authors could launch their writing chore as soon as the agreed-upon writing plan came down from the wall (i.e., writing could begin within an hour or two of beginning storyboard reviews). The self-contained nature of the topics also permitted lock-step scheduling, in which the phases of the development effort overlap (storyboarding, writing, technical/management approval, critiquing, troubleshooting, editing, production, preprint buyoff, and printing). In other words, no phase of the effort had to be completed before the next phase began. Suddenly, short-fuse proposals were easier to cope with than they ever had been. (The modular approach also eliminated the domino effect in which, under the conventional approach, late changes in one part of the proposal threatened the schedule by impacting other parts of the proposal.)
Early Reviews Now Focused Our Message

As we implemented storyboard reviews, there was grumbling in some quarters that they imposed too much front-loading of
The author who came to the review with a skimpy storyboard left the review with a eshedout, agreed-upon writing plan.
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As we put storyboard reviews into practice, we were struck by the creative force that group dynamics brought to bear on the proposal development process. The shared goal of making each topic and topic string as telling as possible on the proposals chances of winning energized the review cadre to debate and improve upon the strategic point of each topic and the theme body/visual supporting it. The author who came to the review with a skimpy storyboard left the review with a eshed-out, agreed-upon writing plan. At times the review process went far beyond topic-level critique once the review cadres creative juices began to ow. I have seen systems redesigned and management plans retailored at the storyboard wall. To ensure consistent steering of proposal strategy, we determined that, as a minimum, the review cadre should include the proposal manager and technical director or their representatives, section or topic-string honchos, the topic authors, and a STOP specialist to conduct the review. In the mid 1960s, I served as managing editor for a consortium-generated proposal to implement the air-defense ground environment for the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. The proposal ran into thousands of pages and involved, on a limited schedule, teaching STOP and conducting storyboard reviews at companies in Italy, France, The Netherlands, West Germany, England, and Canada.1 The coherence and strategic unity of the nished proposal were not perfect, of course, but they were good enough to beat the competition. Considering the diversity of contributors to the proposal, I believe they could have been achieved in no other way than by the application of STOP principles. As had been the case a number of times in the past and would be the case many times in the future, this effort demonstrated the effectiveness of the proposal storyboarding approach. The promise we sensed at our initial brainstorming session was fullled. The challenges of the proposal adventure were still there and still real, but the STOP disciplines gave us the tools we needed to cope with them.
See excerpts from the Hughes Aircraft STOP Report on the following pages
STOP Became a Way of Life

The STOP specialist was a new breed of technical editor, one equipped through mastery of STOP disciplines to be instrumental in developing and presenting sound proposal strategy. Our most senior STOP specialists were dubbed Managing Editors. They were supported by topic critiquers, troubleshooters, and copy editors. Once the STOP storyboarding technique was adopted, it didnt take long for Hughes-Fullertons win-percentage to mushroom. And it did not take long for the technique to be widely adopted in our industry, spread at rst by our proposal-teaming efforts with other companies, and then by its own momentum as word got around.
1As luck would have it, a general greve struck Paris at the beginning of the storyboard review schedule there, shutting down electricity among other things. Because the schedule, which could not be slipped, called for review sessions extending late into the night, these were the only storyboard reviews ever conducted by candlelight.
References
Tracey, J.R., Rugh, D.E., and Starkey, W.S., 1965, STOP, How to Achieve Coherence in Proposals and Reports, Fullerton, CA, Hughes Aircraft Company Special Interest Group for Documentation, 1999, The Journal of Computer Documentation, Vol. 23, No. 3, New York, NY, Association for Computing Machinery
Except for four years at the University of Chicago, where he investigated infrared and cosmic-ray detection techniques as a research physicist, Walt Starkeys career has been spent in engineering publications. During his 29 years at Hughes Aircraft Company, he was one of the developers of the STOP storyboarding technique. Since he retired as head of Hughes-Fullertons Proposal Development Section in 1989, his freelance articles, short stories, humor, and poetry have appeared in numerous periodicals. He can be reached at [email protected].
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SEQUENTIAL THEMATIC ORGANIZATION OF PUBLICATIONS (STOP): How to Achieve Coherence in Proposals and Reports
HUGHES- FULLERTON HUGHES AIRCRAFT COMPANY GROUND SYSTEMS GROUP Fullerton, Calif. J a n u a r y 1965
J. R. TRACEY D. E. RUGH W. S. STARKEY
Information Media D e p a r t m e n t ID 65-10-10 52092
Copyright 1965, Hughes A i r c r a f t Company All rights r e s e r v e d . No p a r t of this document may be used or reproduced in any m a n n e r without written p e r m i s s i o n f r o m Hughes A i r c r a f t Company.
*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3
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CONTENTS
THE STOP TECHNIQUE AT A GLANCE
Stop: A B e t t e r M e t h o d of O r g a n i z i n g a n d W r i t i n g R e p o r t s a n d Proposals ........................................... C o n c e p t of t h e T o p i c a l M o d u l e ............................ THE NATURE OF THE PROBLEM Stop: Who N e e d s I t ? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . P i t f a l l s in t h e C o n v e n t i o n a l M e t h o d ......................... The Loss of Outlining Control ............................. The River Raft Document ............................... T H E M A T I C Q U A N T I Z A T I O N AS A S O L U T I O N N a t u r a l T o p i c a l S t r u c t u r e of E x p o s i t o r y D i s c o u r s e ............... T h e C o n c e p t of T h e m a t i c Q u a n t i z a t i o n ....................... E x a m p l e s of H o w Q u a n t i z a t i o n R e v e a l s t h e T h e s i s ............... APPLYING THEMATIC QUANTIZATION WITH STOP S t o r y b o a r d i n g : A N e w W a y To O u t l i n e ....................... W r i t i n g To S t o r y b o a r d s ................................. Sample Storyboards ................................... H o w To W r i t e T o p i c H e a d i n g s . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . How To W r i t e T h e s i s S e n t e n c e s ........................... The Overall Stop Procedure .............................. Storyboard Reviewing .................................. Converting From River-Raft To Modular ..................... The Topicizing Operation ................................ The "Audio-Visual" Technique For Math Write-Ups .............. Sample Audio-Visual Math Topics .......................... U s e of T h e T h e s i s S e n t e n c e s To W r i t e T h e S u m m a r y ............. H o w S t o p I n d u c e s R e f o r m s In F i g u r e U s a g e ................... SUMMARY OF STOP BENEFITS
0 2
4 6 8 10
12 14 16
18 20 22 24 25 26 28 30 32 34 36 38 42
In-House Advantages of Stop Methodology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Advantages T o The Reader .............................. Advantages T o The Evaluator . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . APPENDIX Second Thoughts About Stop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Question Of Continuity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Question Of Relative Importance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Objections To Stop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . R e c e p t i o n of S t o p B y G o v e r n m e n t a n d M i l i t a r y A g e n c i e s ........... T h e S o u r c e of t h e T h e s i s S e n t e n c e . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . T h e S w a p p e d R o l e s of t h e A u t h o r a n d R e a d e r ................... Background and Acknowledgement ...........................
44 46 48
A-0 A-2 A-4 A-6 A-8 A-10 A-12 A-14
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The STOP Technique at a Glance

STOP: A BETTER METHOD OF ORGANIZING AND WRITING REPORTS AND PROPOSALS
STOP is a s y s t e m a t i c method of o r g a n i z i n g and w r i t i n g the technical r e p o r t and p r o p o s a l which significantly i m p r o v e s outlining c o n t r o l and editorial c a l i b e r of the content. E s s e n t i a l l y , the method s p o o n - f e e d s the r e a d e r in " b i t e - s i z e " , 2 - p a g e topics.
STOP stands f o r Sequential T h e m a t i c Organization of Publications. It is a new and unorthodox method that is s u r p r i s i n g l y effective f o r outlining and writing t e c h nical r e p o r t s , and p r o p o s a l s , p a r t i c u l a r l y the lengthy, detailed and technically c o m plex publications p r e p a r e d by t e a m s u n d e r t i m e s t r e s s . In a STOP r e p o r t or p r o p o s a l the subject m a t t e r is o r g a n i z e d into a s e r i e s of r e l a t i v e l y b r i e f t h e m e s , each p r e s e n t e d in a " m o d u l e " of two facing p a g e s , c o m p l e t e with a s s o c i a t e d figure, if any. Thus, you change the subject w h e n e v e r you turn the p a g e and y o u r attention is occupied with only one m e s s a g e at a t i m e . T h i s f r a m i n g of m e s s a g e " m o d u l e s " in a STOP book i n c r e a s e s the i m p a c t of each and m a k e s it e a s i e r to c o m p r e h e n d . What m a k e s STOP w o r k as a p r a c t i c a l method f o r all t h e m a t i c types of technical writing is that it m a k e s u s e of the m o r e - o r - l e s s u n i f o r m topical s t r u c t u r e that exists n a t u r a l l y in o r d i n a r y e x p o s i t o r y d i s c o u r s e , but which is hidden by conventional outlining p r a c t i c e s . It can be shown s t a t i s t i c a l l y that this n a t u r a l topical s t r u c t u r e exists and that the topics, once you r e c o g n i z e them, fit the 2 - p a g e s p r e a d in an o v e r w h e l m i n g m a j o r i t y of the c a s e s . T h e r e f o r e , r e c a s t i n g o r boiling down is not r e q u i r e d in the STOP technique. Conventional outlining p r a c t i c e s not only hide the n a t u r a l topics of a d i s c o u r s e , they allow the t h e s i s of the topics to r e m a i n unstated, and this m a k e s it e a s y for the r e a d e r to m i s s the m o s t i m p o r t a n t points the author wants to m a k e , and for the author to m i s s m a k i n g t h e m in the f i r s t p l a c e . The conventional outline is " c a t e g o r i c a l " r a t h e r than topical, so it is e s s e n t i a l l y a o n e - m a n tool. To supplant the c a t e g o r i c a l outline, S t o r y b o a r d s a r e u s e d in the STOP technique to p r e p a r e a detailed, " t e a m - v i s i b l e " outline for each t h e m e module. The t r a d i t i o n a l but neglected T h e s i s Sentence, which is the key to c o h e r e n t outlining and writing, guides the design of each S t o r y b o a r d f o r m a x i m u m t h e m a t i c unity. The T h e s i s Sentence shows the r e a d e r at a glance the e s s e n t i a l a r g u m e n t of the t h e m e body, and since the total s h a p e of the t h e m e body is r e a d i l y a p p a r e n t , the r e a d e r is r e lieved of the c o m m o n vexation: "When will this p a s s a g e end, and what point is the author d r i v i n g at ?" STOP is b a s e d on the p r i n c i p l e of T h e m a t i c Quantization, which a s s e r t s that p r o p e r recognition and t r e a t m e n t of topical units of d i s c o u r s e is the e s s e n c e of " c o h e r e n c e , " and that the best way to a c h i e v e topic recognition is the device of uniform modules. F o r a given subject a r e a , the author always has the option of spinning off additional topics, p r o v i d e d each is t r e a t e d in a unified m a n n e r , but he n e v e r exceeds a 2-page span of attention at any one m o m e n t . The t o p i c a l s e g m e n t a t i o n of natural e x p o s i t o r y s t r u c t u r e is thus taken advantage of: it r e p l a c e s the a r b i t r a r y and a r t i ficial r u l e s of "logical" c a t e g o r i z i n g as the i s s u e of the " o r g a n i z i n g " p r o c e s s . E x p e r i e n c e with STOP o v e r a p e r i o d of y e a r s has d e m o n s t r a t e d the p r a c t i c a b i l i t y of this s e e m i n g l y b r o c h u r e - l i k e organizing method f o r detailed technical exposition. One hundred and twenty m a j o r STOP p r o p o s a l s and r e p o r t s have been p r o duced since N o v e m b e r 1962. It is c o n s i d e r e d now to be d e m o n s t r a t e d as a p r a c t i cal method for all t y p e s of subject m a t t e r , the usual mix of engineering writing talent, typical c r a s h schedules, and conventional methods of multilith production.
*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3
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As evidenced by reader reaction, i n c r e a s e in c o m p r e h e n s i b i l i t y of STOP documents as compared to their River-Raft counterparts can only be described as dramatic. This has been e s p e c i a l l y true in the proposal field, where the quantizing methodology r e v e a l s company intention m o r e plainly, and provides a standard "processing" framework for the evaluator, who i s concerned with identifying points for s c o r i n g purposes, spotting areas of d i s a g r e e m e n t , and rank-ordering items for priority a n a l y s i s .
52092.
THE
RIVER-RAFT
CONCEPT
THE STOP CONCEPT
F,GURE
TOPIC__ I ~
S E Q U E N C E OF THEMES
tjj
CATEGORICAL OUTLINE OF THE RIVER,RAFT PROPOSAL It, GENERAL SYSTEM CONSIDERATIONS I. BASIC CONSIDERATIONS 2, COMPUTER SUBSYSTEM A. INTRODUCTION B. ORGANIZATIONAL CONCEPTS (I) CONFIGURATION A (2) CONFIGURATION B (3) TEST UNIT TIE.IN 3. RADAR DATA CONVERTER A, GENERAL B. MAJOR FUNCTIONS OF RDC C AZIMUTH CONVERSION (I) SYNCHRO METHODS, ETC
TOPICAL OUTLINE OF THE MODULAR PROPOSAL II. KEY SYSTEM CONCEPTS 1. CHIEF PERFORMANCE TRADEOFFS 2. AVOIDANCE OF SPEED SACRIFICE COMPUTER DESIGN GOALS 3. ADVANTAGES OF SPECIAL-PURPOSE DESIGN 4, LOW COST OF DRUM MEMORY S. IMPORTANCE OF AUTOMATIC TESTING 6. DRAWBACKS TO CENTRAL CONTROL ?. PROPOSED REMOTE PROCESSING SELECTION OF ROC TECHNIQUES 8. CRITICAL NEED FOR MULTIPLE INPUTS 9, VIDEO QUANTIZER MOVED TO COMPUTER 10. ADVANTAGES OF ELECTRONIC AZIMUTH CONVERSION, ETC.
Figure i. Page-by-page printing of the conventional "run-on" proposal tends to conceal the fact
that it takes the form of a s c r o l l or a r i v e r of words. Since the usage and location of figures are unpredictable, figures are r e f e r r e d to as rafts. The p e r m i s s i v e character of the r i v e r - r a f t proposal is reflected in the categorical outline on the left, whose riddlelike headings may be compared to the pertinent topics of the same material treated modularly on the right.
*Journal of Computer Documentation August ] 999/Vol 23, No. 3
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I
8 The STOP Technique at a Glance C()NCEPT OF THE TOPICAL MODULE
B~cause it has obvious boundaries (both physical and editorial) and an a p p r o p r i a t e capacity, the self-contained theme of two-page p r o p o r t i o n s becom es a p r e s c r i p t i o n for thematic c o h e r e n c e that is m o r e objective to the author and r e v i e w e r , while being compatible with the natural beha\dot of the author and r e a d e r . Application of T hem a t i c Quantizatlon to the printed document is i l l u s t r a t e d in Figur e 2. The r e a d e r is confronted with a self-contained and easily assi m i l at ed theme w h e r e v e r he may open the document. Since all d i s c o u r s e on a topic ce a se s within the module boundary, turning the page means st art i ng a new topic. The n u m b e r of topics s e l e c t e d during initial outlining to c o v e r a given subject cat e g o ry can be as few o r m any as d e s i r e d , depending upon the emphasis intended and the o v e r a l l page limit of the publication. The topic r e p r e s e n t s what could be called "unit thematic intention;" it is not predefi ned by subject m a t t e r . Different authors could obviously c o v e r the sam e subject c a t e g o r y with different a r r a n g e m e n t s of ideas within topics, a c c ordi ng to the p a r t i c u l a r exposi t ory s t r a t e g y of each. A theme may take up the s a m e subject c a t e g o r y as a previ ous theme, though f r o m another aspect and t h e r e f o r e justifiably as another topic. Likewise, changes in topic c o v e r a g e during writing can be effected by topic spinoffs or consolidations. The only absolute r e q u i r e m e n t is that each resulting theme must be coherent, pertinent and not in e x c e s s of two pages. Violations of thematic unity a r e e a s i e r to spot and t h e r e f o r e m o r e likely to be r e p a i r e d e a r l y in the game. In the typical STOP publication, the text is placed on the left and the figures a re placed a r b i t r a r i l y on the right, but since the use of illustrations is not essential to the method, the text m ay "slop o v e r " as d e s i r e d . Conventional 8-1/2 by 11 reproduction methods allow about 500 words p e r page, for a m axi m um topic length of about 1,000 w or ds without illustration. Multiple figures can be employed p e r page, to the limits of a r t - s i z i n g ingenuity, as can foldouts in the c u s t o m a r y way, which, however, must be "backed up" with the text for the subsequent module. It will be shown that the e n g i n e e r writing a r e p o r t or p r o p o s a l invariably s t a r t s a new topic a f t e r about 500 w ords on the a v e r a g e . This is fortunate because it means that the STOP f o r m a t a c c o m m o d a t e s n o r m a l writing habits without a lot of copyfitting trouble as might be f e a r e d . M a t e r i a l does not have to be chopped up, boiled down, o r s u p e r f l c i a l i z e d in any way. The m o r e detailed, technical and t h e o r e t i c a l the b e t t e r . The r e a d e r is provided outline orientation at a glance by the c a t e g o r i c a l Section and Subsection headings; he does not have to r e m e m b e r or turn back to the table of contents to see w h e r e he is in the schem e of things. No room is provided fo r writing text under sectional headings because t h e i r function is only categorizing, but the c a t e g o r i c a l headings constantly r e a p p e a r from theme to theme. The e ssential argument of the topic is c r i s p l y s u m m a r i z e d for the r e a d e r by the printed out T he s i s Sentence, which faci l i t at es scanning, and the figure is always found right t h e r e , ~ t h o u t the nuisance of page flipping to locate it. If the topic does not c o m p l e t e l y fill the module, the rem ai ni ng blank space is accepted as a m e r e a e s t h e t i c d i f f e r e n c e f r o m the run-on f o r m a t . However, it also becomes r e g a r d e d as a beneficial signal to the r e a d e r that he can now begin to digest what he has just r e c e i v e d , b e f o r e confusing the i ssue with the next theme.
Reprint 9
52092.
DEFINITE TOPIC BOUNDARIES STRENGTHENS COHERENCE
350 WORDS"
500 WORDS
Io000 WORDS
500 WORDS WITH FOLDOUT
COPYFITTING F L E X I B I L I T Y
Section - Technical Approach S u b s e c t i o n - Environment Control Techniques ADVANTAGES OF TIlE EVAPORATIVE COOLING METHOD Evaporative cooling is more effective than a i r cooling or cold plates because ambient liquid absorbs heat faster than circulating air, the constant vapor temperature is exploited, and the waste heat is positively discharged into the ship's water system - with less equipment weight and space.
(theme body)
Figure 2.
The modular organization with printed thesis promotes stronger coherence and continuity within the topic simply because the point is more clearly defined and the space restriction prevents the author from over-reaching it unwittingly.
*Note: Most reports and proposals have about 12 percent blank space, regardless of format method.
Reprint 10
The Nature of the Problem
STOP: WHO NEEDS IT? There is evidence that the technical r e p o r t and proposal are failing to perform their intended functions because the methods of preparation don't cope with the characteristic changes this literature has undergone in modern times. From a distance, any improvement of technical literature sounds fine. But who needs a method as radical as STOP? Don't our proposals win contracts, our reports get accepted? These questions arise as soon as the engineer-author working on a proposal o'r report tries STOP for the first time. Then he realizes that STOP imposes rules and constraints, requires more effort, harder thought, and is less "forgiving" than conventional, permissive methods of outlining and writing. With practice, the engineer-author overcomes these annoyances and learns to appreciate the underlying compatability between the STOP discipline and his natural inborn habits of discourse. But STOP will always stand for more intellectual effort. Is it necessary? The answer can be seen in the situation of technical literature today. The widespread lack of comprehensibility and retrievability of the information content of reports and proposals is well known. The problem is made apparent by every final report left unread and unused, and by every contract settlement put off by delayed submittal of final reports. It is reiterated by every RFP which warns against "brochuremanship", pleads for "clarity and conciseness, " dictates content paragraph-by-paragraph, or imposes stringent page limitations. Accustomed to living with our technical information problems, we take them for granted, but a higher look at the situation will show that there are grave problems indeed, both for Hughes and the nation at large. Vice President Hubert H. Humphrey called Congressional attention to the extent of the problems in 1962, when, as Subcommittee Chairman on Government Operations, he scored "the unsatisfactory management of scientific and technical information by the Department of Defense," leading to: "2 billion dollars a year needlessly lost in the yield of Federal research and development expenditures, and A year of time needlessly added to the average 5-year development cycle of a weapons system','*
As can be seen at Hughes, the typical report and proposal is prepared under terrrific time stress by "nonprofessional" writers, e.g., the design engineer. Four characteristic features of this process (Figure 3) which tend to degrade editorial caliber are 1) multiple authorship, 2) increased size and complexity, 3) scheduling pressures, and 4) the impracticability of editing. Against these threats to coherence, our conventional approach to document development brings to bear the same "closet" procedures employed by the 18th century scientific essayist: categorical outlining, "River-Raft" drafting of manuscript, and post-facto reviewing. The result, in general, has been a very low quality in content of documents, and a very high difficulty in their control and preparation. If poor proposals win, and poor reports bring follow-on work, it happens despite inferior effectiveness of the document, that is, through the absence of competition. A more independent set of editorial criteria is suggested below. If you can score high on these, then you would not benefit from STOP. * U.S. Senate Scientific Research Study, the Department of Defense and Scientific and Technical Information, Memorandum S-3-11-62, March 26, 1962, from Hubert H. Humphrey to George H. Mahon, House Committee on Appropriations.
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11
Is your document: Planned and written with c l a r i t y and h a r m o n y ? (Do the c o n t r i b u t o r s turn in ~ T i t e - u p s that match the outline and intent of the document m a n a g e r , or is there confusion and d i s a p p o i n t m e n t s 7) Easy to r e a d , comprehend and e v a l u a t e ? (Does the c u s t o m e r ' s behavior show he has r e c e i v e d your key m e s s a g e s one way or another, or a r e additional o r a l p r e s e n t a t i o n s r e q u i r e d to "sketch out the big p i c t u r e " ? ) Answerable to t r a d e - o f f s against stiff technical competition7 (Is your technical edge c l e a r l y apparent, as it must be when the proposal outcome is not wired, or is it disadvantaged by e d i t o r i a l faults?) Innocent of the frantic, overnight "bash", in which l a r g e portions a r e thrown away or redone at the l a s t minute? Useful as " p r o g r a m a i d s , " for costing p u r p o s e s , in-house orientation and training, follow-on efforts, etc. (Or do key m e m b e r s have to r e - e x p l a i n the p r o g r a m to n e w c o m e r s and staff w o r k e r s ? )
52092
COMPLEX,TY
EDITOR
METHODS
Figure 3. While theperils of the modern report and proposal clearly distinguish it from the 18th century essay, its techniques of preparation remain the same. Editor's role is professionally undefined. Frequently lacking the technical skills or time to operate, he reverts to format and language flyspecking.
*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Voi 23, No. 3
Reprint 12
The Nature of the P r o b l e m P I T F A L L S IN THE CONVENTIONAL METHOD
The s t a n d a r d approach to document p r e p a r a t i o n has three ingredients: 1) a m y s t e r i o u s outline, 2) a long wait for m a n u s c r i p t s to be written, followed by 3) a l a s t - m i n u t e c r i s i s while the pieces a r e pulled together. P a r t i c i p a n t s a r e in the dark until the document is completed. The h i s t o r i c p r o c e d u r e for developing a proposal or r e p o r t is shown in Figure 4. You make an outline, write the d r a f t s , review the m a n u s c r i p t s , then make r e v i sions, and so qn. When p r o b l e m s develop, the s t a n d a r d complaints of the p a r t i c i p a n t s , culled f r o m thousands of hallway c o m m e n t s , a r e as shown. Notice that each p a r t i c i p a n t feels he is in the dark, which is the c h a r a c t e r i s t i c feature of the whole p r o c e s s , making it a v e r i t a b l e " t r i a l and e r r o r " proposition. One r e a s o n for this is that the conventional outline s a y s v e r y little, except to the individual who wrote it. Another r e a s o n is the o c c u r r e n c e of the "long wait" a f t e r the outline is issued, while the m a n u s c r i p t s a r e being l a b o r i o u s l y composed sentence by sentence. During this period, the document m a n a g e r can only f r e t - and keep his f i n g e r s c r o s s e d . Unfortunately, when m a n u s c r i p t s u b m i s s i o n s a r e finally made, the document m a n a g e r is suddenly faced with a c r u c i a l task which he may not be skilled at handling, that is, c r i t i c a l l y reviewing the content, p a r a g r a p h by paragraph, to see what is being driven at, judge whether it is acceptable, and decide what to do about it if it is not. The difficulties of p e r f o r m i n g a text critique a r e much g r e a t e r than o r d i n a r i l y a p p r e c i a t e d . A n a l y s i s of technical significance is often obscured by l i t e r a r y and organizing defects, and so b e c o m e s entwined with e d i t o r i a l c r i t i c i s m s the m a n a g e r would p r e f e r to avoid. F u r t h e r m o r e , the sentences and p a r a g r a p h s a r e set up in a " c o n c r e t e " of workedout g r a m m a r and continuity. The n e c e s s a r y i m p r o v e m e n t is difficult to envision, and changes difficult to make, since the defects a r e s e e m i n g l y "locked up" in a thematic a g g r e g a t e of diction, syntax, p a r a g r a p h s t r u c t u r e , and r h e t o r i c a l devices. The usual feeling is that "something is wrong but I don't know exactly what it is." R e m e m b e r , too, that t i m e is now running out. The upshot all too often is that the m a t e r i a l is r e l e a s e d r e g r e t f u l l y r'as is, " or just n i t - p i c k e d , or junked in wholesale lots. The document m a n a g e r at this point r e a l i z e s that an awfully lot was contracted for when his initial outline was r a t h e r c a s u a l l y t o s s e d off as the basis for making a s s i g n m e n t s to his e n g i n e e r s . But his r e s o l v e to do b e t t e r the next time is quickly e r o d e d away when he u n d e r t a k e s the baffling act of p r e p a r i n g a b e t t e r outline for communicating his wants m o r e s p e c i f i c a l l y to his c o n t r i b u t o r s . Strangely, it all r e d u c e s to m o r e confusion, m i s u n d e r s t a n d i n g s , and m e r e talk. The concensus is that it is e a s i e r to "bash it out", and m a k e - d o with poor inputs, than it is to face the f r u s t a t i o n s of attempting to c o r r e c t l y plan and control the content in the f i r s t place. Cynical? No. R e a l i s t i c ? Y e s - a recognition that outlines, as now built, can only be the s k e t c h i e s t of p r e d i c t i o n s , and a r e not the s p e c i f i c a t i o n s they should be to effect positive control o v e r the elusive and h e u r i s t i c p r o c e s s of writing.
Reprint 13
52.092 4
THE CONVENTIONAL, TRIAL AND ERROR PUBLISHING PROCEDURE

I) MAKE OUTLIN~E ./,--.----~-'-7 O
2) WRITE DRAFTS
1 ,.
I l
ENGINEER/AUTHOR
(LONG WAIT)
THE LOOP
.E,,i~,MNSRS AUDI' ~ R
~'N
PROPOSAL/REPORT MANAGER
o~
MANAGEMENT/MARKETING
~ f~"~
~ ~ JOB." TOO MANY "DETAILS"; DOESN'T RELATE \f~"~ TO MY REQUEST. (NEXT TIME. I'LL SPECIFY
PROPOSAL EVALUATOR/REPORT READER
F i g u r e 4.
L a i s s e z - f a i r e w r i t i n g and p o s t - f a c t o r e v i e w i n g m e a n s that the c o u r s e of the d o c u m e n t can be o b s e r v e d and c o r r e c t e d only a f t e r the a c c i d e n t . Ineffective outlining method i s the b a s i c c u l p r i t , not l a c k of t i m e o r w r i t i n g s k i l l .
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14
The Nature of the P r o b l e m THE LOSS OF OUTLINING CONTROL Achieving coherent thematic organization depends on writing thesis sentences at the topic level. Outlining without the thesis/topic concept reduces to mere categorizing, which practically guarantees team confusion and thematic incoherence. If an outline is to effectively control the writing process, it must specify content in t e r m s of topical points and lines of argument r a t h e r than categories of subject matter. Thus, the basic steps of outlining, as shown in Figure 5, require the writing out of a thesis sentence, or statement of proposition, before one can list and arrange the subject items meaningfully. While this fact has long been r e c o g nized by orthodox r e f e r e n c e s on the craft of expository writing (e. g., J. Raleigh Nelson, Writing the Technical Report, McGraw Hill, 1940), the practice of writing out thesis sentences as part of outlining has become extinct in industry. There are many compelling reasons for the general demise of orthodox outlining. They include: 1) the lag of technical incubation, discouraging early committments to story-line specifics, and 2) the growth of scope and complexity, exceeding one m a n ' s grasp of the content's essentials. In proposals another insidious reason is the assumption that the theses reside in the R F P and the proposal therefore only has to contain the "answer half of the dialogue. " The fundamental reason, however, is the seeming lack of appropriate places or levels in the swollen outline at which to s u m m a r i z e the various propositions. Do you write a new thesis sentence for each chapter? Each heading? Each p a r a g r a p h ? We now detect a methodological oversight. In defining the Thesis Sentence 25 years ago, Professor Nelson had in mind the short technical report of 10 pages, or Theme paper of the classroom; he never envisioned the 100, 500 or 2,000 page proposal or program final report. In any event, the elimination of Steps (2) and (3) in Figure 5 results in the tentative subject list, Step (1), becoming the sole mechanism of outlining. Thesisless, it soon takes on the c h a r a c t e r i s t i c s of the "categorical" outline, Figure 6. The categorical outline is so named because its headings are preponderantly categories, such as "General Description," or "Introduction." Categorical outlining is preoccupied with regulations, with "official" nomenclature of subordination, "logical" r u l e s like subordinate bifurcation, and l i t e r a r y conventions of form such as linguistic parallelism of headings and indentation symmetry. As a text organizing tool, the categorical outline has several major methodological defects. First, the implication that g r e a t e r d e g r e e s of indentation must systematically c o r r e s p o n d to lower levels of detail. This leads to differences of opinion over absolute levels of given subject m a t t e r s , and to generation of "false-front" headings to achieve outline alignment of given write-ups. Second, the lack of distinction between the functions of categorizing and subordinating (both are shown by indenting). This leads to confused organizations by obscuring the fact that the true c r i t e r i a of subordination is thematic dependence, not class membership. Third, the lack of distinction between c a t e g o r i c a l headings (which cannot be written about) and topical headings (which are written about). This leads to generation of redundant or trivial copy under categorical headings (e. g., topical borrowings or editorialese), and disunified, partial write-ups under topical headings.
Reprint 15
F o u r t h , the absence of quotas o r l i m i t s on word length p e r heading entry. This l e a d s to s k i m p i n g on h a r d i s s u e s , o v e r - e l a b o r a t i n g on f a m i l i a r d e t a i l , changing the s u b j e c t without w a r n i n g , and p r e v e n t s the d e v e l o p m e n t of t h e m a t i c unity through topical self-containment. Fifth, the a b s e n c e of t h e s i s s e n t e n c e s , and the u s e of n o u n - t y p e topic t i t l e s . This m a k e s the t h e m a t i c intent i n v i s i b l e , so each p a r t i c i p a n t m u s t r e s o r t to a p e r s o n a l , intuitive s e t of t h e s e s , and profound t e a m confusion t h e r e f o r e e n s u e s . A n i c e thing about the c a t e g o r i c a l outline i s that t h e s i s d e v e l o p m e n t , being a t r o u b l e s o m e i n t e l l e c t u a l c h o r e , can be put off to the a c t u a l w r i t i n g p h a s e - indeed, the p u r p o s e of w r i t i n g out the p a r a g r a p h s b e c o m e s e r r o n e o u s l y defined as a p r o c e s s of t h e s i s seeking, r a t h e r than one of t h e s i s p r e s e n t i n g . This m i s c o n c e p t i o n fits n i c e l y with ~ c t t that w r i t i n g i s a l w a y s m o r e - o r - l e s s u n a v o i d a b l y h e u r i s t i c (you d o n ' t know e x a c t l y what to s a y t i l l y o u ' r e in the p r o c e s s of p h r a s i n g it), so the c a t e g o r i c a l method s e e m s to be a " n a t u r a l " a p p r o a c h . B e c a u s e the author can get going with an " o r g a n i z a t i o n " b e f o r e he h a s w o r k e d out p r e c i s e l y what to a s s e r t , a r g u e , p r o v e , e t c . , the c a t e g o r i c a l m e t h o d has b e c o m e h i g h l y p o p u l a r for the c r a s h p r o p o s a l and r e p o r t .
52~92. THE "CATEGORICAL" OUTLINE
(1)
(2)
520925
OUTLINING BASICS 1) MAKE TENTATIVE LIST OF SUBJECT ITEMS

'iiil: i~~
2) F O I ~ L A T E
THE THESIS.
3) SELECT AND oRi~ll'filZE THE SUBJECT ITEMS TO BEST D E M G ~ R A T E THE THESIS. ENGINEER PROPOSAL MANAGER
F i g u r e 5. When the d o c u m e n t g r o w s l a r g e r than a single theme, t h e r e i s no obvious p l a c e to w r i t e the t h e s i s s e n t e n c e ( s ) , so t o p i c - l e v e l " o r g a n i z i n g " , s t e p s 2) and 3), is left undone until the a c t u a l w r i t i n g is u n d e r t a k e n .
F i g u r e 6. Skeleton of a c a t e g o r i c a l outline shows i t s r e l i a n c e on the m e c h a n i s m of subo r d i n a t i o n . With t h e s i s s e n t e n c e s m i s s ing, e a e h p a r t i e i p a n t m u s t r e a d his own i n t u i t i v e t h e s e s into the r i d d l e - l i k e n o u n headings.
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16
The Nature of the Problem
THE RIVER-RAFT DOCUMENT
Categorical outlining results in the "discretionary" wTiting of the River-Raft document, so called because it follows the llne of least thematic resistance. The story telling impunity of the eate_gorieal approach was borrowed from the novel tradition and is not suited to expository discourse.
The result of the categorical approach to writing (composition as thesis-seeldng) is the "River-Raft" document (Figure 7). Unpredictable length of passage gives the text i[s scroll-like character, which is seen as a "river" of words. Unpredictable usage of figures suggests the analogy of "rafts, " since the unexpected appearance of figures, and their loose relation to the text make them navigational menaces.
The ease of outlining the River-Raft production goes hand-in-hand with a tendency toward concealment and distraction when the author is pressured by scheduling and subject difficulties. The categorical heading doesn't seriously commit the author to a specific topic, so a weak point can be slighted or an extraneous point sneaked in ~ithout the reader being the wiser. Since the author is free to wander at his discretion, he will be tempted to follow the line of least thematic resistance, favoring preferred subject areas and avoiding hard ones, without concern for being called to account. One consequence is falling for Parkinson's L a w of the Trivial, writing more and more copiously the deeper one proceeds into the details of the subject. Another is the tendency to the lazy-man's clrcumlocation, the style that counts on there always being another sentence coming along which can be used to bolster the weakness or clarify the ambiguity of the last one. The most confusing consequence of "trusted" organizing is that changes of "subject", that is, changes of immediate topical focus, can occur without warning, e.g., the general description of the block diagram is interrupted by an equally long description of the special design technique for one part of the block diagram. Guided only by broad categories, neither the author nor the reader has a ready test for the condition of extraneity. It is strictly a matter of goodness of intent and skill whether the author avoids the temptations of "least resistance. " The organizing rules are no help to him.
Figure usage is abused three ways in the River-Raft document: i) the reader can't tell when a figure is about to be referred to, 2) he can't find it easily when a reference is made, and 3) the figures are often not discussed in an orderly way, but are thrown in as reference data on the basis of "figure it out yourself. " It is not surprising to see figures treated as "attachments" in the River-Raft method. One must be working in the topic concept before the possibility is fully appreciated of handling figures as thematic elements of message units, rather than as official data submittals prepared by the drafting room and not to be tampered with. The chief offense of the River-Raft figure is that it covers too much ground topically, either in scope or level, when translated into a text discussion. The catchall diagram or schematic conceived in equipment terms as a functional entity is fine as "engineering data, " but not at all suited to the expository need for thematic, or lesson entities. Fitting figures into messages means breaking them down into topically unified dimensions, and perhaps creating others in verbal terms such as the key word list. The characteristic trait of the River-Raft report or proposal is that at any given moment of reading, the reader usually can't tell where he is in the overall outline and what is being driven at in the present passage. The author, hopefully,
Reprint
17
is "building up" to a conclusion, and the r e a d e r must hang on until he a r r i v e s at it. The psychology of the r e a d e r putting h i m s e l f into the hands of the author, to be led to the p r o m i s e d land of comprehension, is a piece of cultural mythology c a l l e d "The Assumption of the Wise Author. " According to this l i t e r a r y convention, the r o l e of the author is that of the omniscient s t o r y t e l l e r , as in the novel tradition. Its c o r o l l a r y is that if the r e a d e r becomes confused, he just wasn't paying' attention. The implication that the r e a d e r is not entitled to know beforehand where h e ' s going is p a r t of the enjoyment of being entertained, but is unworkable for the situation of instruction. Unfortunately, the technical r e p o r t and proposal lack the plot s t r u c t u r e that p r i v i l e g e s the novelist and makes this concept of wise authorship r e a s o n a b l y valid for the l i t e r a t u r e of fiction.
52092.9
,~/~;.~F'-~ THE RIVER-RAFT DOCUMENT
I'VE LOST THE THREAD:
~_~
~\
Figure 7. In the conventional run-on proposal, the text-scroll is a "river" of writing inhibited
only by the author's good intentions. Figures are "rafts, " guided by their own informational momentum. Confused r e a d e r ' s complaint is caused by author's misconception that continuity of whole narrative is the same thing as coherence. Rhetorical flow has been stressed over logical inevitability.
ll
*Journal of Computer Documentation
August 1999/Vol23,No.3
,i
Reprint 18
Thematic Quantization as a Solution
NATURAL
TOPICAL
STRUCTURE
OF
EXPOSITORY
DISCOURSE
If you i g n o r e the c a t e g o r i z i n g of e x i s t i n g headings in the text of technical l i t e r a t u r e , and s e a r c h out the independent units of d i s c o u r s e on s t r i c t l y t h e m a t i c g r o u n d s (line of a r g u m e n t ) , you will d i s c o v e r a sequence of m o r e - o r - l e s s s e l f - c o n t a i n e d topics having m o r e - o r - l e s s uniform lengths. Despite c a t e g o r i c a l outlining and the f o i b l e s of R i v e r Rafting that r e s u l t , the cons c i e n t i o u s a u t h o r of e x p o s i t o r y m a t e r i a l u n c o n s c i o u s l y follows a n a t u r a l p a t t e r n of organization: the sequence of topical t h e m e s . A point is r a i s e d , then d i s c u s s e d ; a n o t h e r point is r a i s e d and then d i s c u s s e d , and so on. What m a k e s this o b s e r v a t i o n significant is the s u r p r i s i n g d e g r e e of u n i f o r m i t y in n a t u r a l t h e m e lengths, and the d e g r e e to which the topical content of the t h e m e s g o e s u n r e c o g n i z e d in the s y s t e m of c a t e g o r i c a l headings. T h e s e f a c t o r s r a i s e the p o s s i b i l i t y of a s t a n d a r d i z e d , m o d u l a r t h e m a t i c s t r u c t u r e of outline, w h e r e i n the p r e c i s e object of the p a s s a g e can a l w a y s be kept c l e a r f o r both the a u t h o r and the r e a d e r through the d e v i c e of the thesis sentence. Natural topic s t r u c t u r e can e a s i l y be shown to e x i s t in any s a m p l e of t h e m a t i c m a t e r i a l p r o v i d e d that: I) it is r e a s o n a b l y c o h e r e n t to begin with; 2) the " s u b o r d i n a t i n g " sign of c a t e g o r i c a l headings, ff any, is c o r r e c t l y interpreted;" and 3) the "topic" is u n d e r s t o o d to be any s e m a n t i c a l l y d i s c e r n a b l e p a s s a g e , which can be s u m m a r i z e d in a t h e s i s s e n t e n c e that is t h e m a t i c a l l y independent of the p r e v i o u s t h e s i s sentence (thus r u l i n g out the p a r a g r a p h a s topics). Studies of Hughes r e p o r t s and p r o p o s a l s show the following s t a t i s t i c a l p r o p e r t i e s of the n a t u r a l topic:
Topic length r a n g e s f r o m about 200 to 950 w o r d s . The a v e r a g e topic length is about 500 words. The s t a n d a r d s a m p l e d e v i a t i o n is about 200 w o r d s . T h e r e a p p e a r s to be a n o r m a l d i s t r i b u t i o n about the mean.
In o t h e r w o r d s , topic r a n g e and v a r i a t i o n is a m a z i n g l y s m a l l , m o s t a u t h o r s exhausting a given t h e m e in about 5 o r 6 p a r a g r a p h s on the a v e r a g e . This p a t t e r n is m o s t p r o n o u n c e d in d e t a i l e d t e c h n i c a l exposition, w h e r e the a u t h o r is motivated to make a full e x p l a n a t i o n of all that i s s i g n i f i c a n t about the subject, and is t h e r e f o r e m o s t l i k e l y to change the s u b j e c t on h i m s e l f without r e a l i z i n g it, i. e . , b e c o m e " e x t r a n e o u s " to the o r i g i n a l intention of his heading o r opening salient. A t o p i c - s t r u c t u r e a n a l y s i s f o r a r a n d o m s a m p l e of R i v e r Raft p r o p o s a l m a t e r i a l is shown in F i g u r e 8. The n u m b e r of w o r d s p e r h e a d i n g is f i r s t plotted in b a r - c h a r t f o r m . The text is then e x a m i n e d to d e t e r m i n e w h e r e the " t r u e " topic b o u n d a r i e s do not coincide with the s y s t e m of headings. Topic b o u n d a r y v a l i d i t y is d e t e r m i n e d (somewhat s u b j e c t i v e l y ) by the r u l e s of T h e m a t i c Unity and t h e s i s independence, but not by length p r e c o n c e p t i o n s . The a u t h o r ' s own t r a n s i t i o n a l d e v i c e s and hints a r e used w h e r e p o s s i b l e to fix topic b o u n d a r i e s . That v i o l a t i o n s of unity in the s e mantic s e n s e u s u a l l y c o r r e s p o n d to a b n o r m a l v a r i a t i o n s in length is the e s s e n t i a l (though " m y s t e r i o u s " ) p r o p e r t y and advantage of the m o d u l a r technique. Where d i s c r e p a n c i e s exist, the valid topics a r e r e - p l o t t e d , a s shown by the dashed b a r s . C o r r e c t l y s u b o r d i n a t e d p a s s a g e s a r e s u m m e d (by the b r a c k e t s ) to show intended topical total. Deviation about the m e a n is then c a l c u l a t e d in the usual way. Note that this a n a l y s i s does not c o m p l e t e any e d i t o r i a l p r o c e s s of c o n v e r s i o n . New topic titles, n e c e s s a r y c a t e g o r i c a l r e v i s i o n s , and l e f t o v e r n o n - t o p i c a l f r a g m e n t s (often e d i t o r i a l e s e of questionable significance) a r e y e t to be accounted for.
Reprint 19
OZU~Z'~
[] OUTLINE HEADINGS (TABLE OF CONTEI~ 0 k:PROPOSAL FOR INDUCTIVE STORAGE SWITCHING STUDY ( SECTION IV PULSE SHAPING C A. CURRENT-FED P U L S E B. MAGNETIC PULSE SHA (NEW MODULATOR CIRCU (SQUARE LOOP METHOD) (ACHIEVING UNIDIRECTIO C. SOLID-STATE PULSE S D. ACTIVE PULSE-SHAPII~ E. RLC PULSE SHAPING (CONVENTIONAL MAGNET SECT. Ill SWITCHING DEVICE,( 1700 FIGURES:
SMALL 1 PAG E FOLDOUT
1800
1900
2000
2100
2200
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A. CONTROLL ED-CONDUC 1. VACUUM TUBES 2. TRANSISTORS 3. SILICON CONTROLL B. TRIGGERED (UNCONTR C. TRANSFER SWITCHES SECT. VIII RF GENERATORS
A. OVER-COUPLED TESLI B. RESONANT STRUCTURE 1. CAVITIES 2. DISTRIB. P~ARAMETI C. NON-LINEAR CIRCUIT 1. FERRITE DEVICES 2. SOLID-STATE DEVI( D. OTHER DEVICES
Figure
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Theme
Structure
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13
Reprint 20
Thematic Quantization as a Solution
THE CONCEPT OF THEMATIC QUANTIZATION Recognition of topics in the writing t r e a t m e n t is v e r y i m p o r t a n t to thematic coherence. Since there is a s u r p r i s i n g uniformity in natural topic lengths, the device of a standard topic module can be used to implement and insure topic racognition.
STOP's recognition of natural topic boundaries in the heading s t r u c t u r e would s e e m
to be an obviously d e s i r a b l e r e a d e r aid. Modern technical l i t e r a t u r e already a t tempts to do this. The R i v e r Raft document m a k e s liberal use of outline headings which try to show thematic content, but true topic s t r u c t u r e is concealed by the use of nonindicative categorizing h e a d i n g s arid n o n r e t r e i v a b l e subordinate headings. Development of thesis sentences for each topic is a logical extension of topical r e cognition, and has the f u r t h e r advantage of r e - i n s t i t u t i n g the thesis sentence as an outlining aid. STOP goes one step f u r t h e r by standardizing the module dimension, with a capacity that a c c o m o d a t e s the upper limit of the natural range of topic lengths, thus physically embodying the topical r u l e s of organizing as a distinct and s y s t e m a t i c f o r m a t feature. Topic recognition t h r o u g h m o d u l a r i t y is illustrated in Figure 9.
This rationale behind STOP is called "Thematic Quantization. " As a principle of written communication it states: "Recognition of topical structure as distinct from categories is essential to elicit the correct responses in writing and reading known as coherence. The most reliable and objective way to insure such recognition and co-response for both author and reader is to communicate in message frames of uniform size. "
Aside f r o m the basic question of joint a u t h o r - r e a d e r coherence, the beauty of T h e matic Quantization is that it obliges the author to s e a r c h out and identify his key points m o r e specifically and c l e a r l y before writing. Thus, in addition to Thematic Unity, it tends to elicit g r e a t e r pertinence during the planning of the sequence and the actual construction of the individual themes. It t h e r e f o r e r e s u l t s in improved comprehensibility of the whole document (which is the product of coherence and pertinence, if you wish). All of which is a good deal m o r e important than its m o s t obvious benefits: the mechanical i m p r o v e m e n t s in readability, such as the insured figure/text relatedness.
It is important to note that Thematic Quantization works as an organizing tool, that is, despite individual differences in writing and reading skills. Usage of the principle is ubiquitous; it can be seen in numerous forms such as flip-chart presentations, tutorial booklets, brochures, junior textbooks, etc. That it has not been applied to complex technical material before is probably due to our unfortunate categorical misconceptions about the nature of theme structure, and the general fear of losing the privileges of wise-authorship.
Reprint 21
52092.9 ORIGINAL FORMAT I GENERAL DESCRIPTION A. COMPUTER B. SOFTWARE C. EQUIPMENTING II ETC.
BREAKOUT OF NATURAL TOPICS
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Figure 9. Thematic Quantization forces recognition of topic structure by a uniform modular format. The standard 2-page spread is conveniently avaitable for use as the module. Capacity of the 2-page module, fortunately, is sufficient for more than 95 percent of natural topics. Note that the fragments making up Topic 5 don't really belong in Section I. Topic 4 has copyfit problems, but would probably make into two topics with considerable reader advantage.
15
Reprint
22
Thematic Quantization as a Solution EXAMPLES OF HOW QUANTIZATION REVEALS THE THESIS When R i v e r Raft m a t e r i a l is converted to topical f o r m , the v a r i o u s theses of the topics "float out" f r o m under the c a t e g o r i e s , giving the r e a d e r quicker insight into the line of argument.
As an i l l u s t r a t i o n of natural theme s t r u c t u r e and the effects of T h e m a t i c Quantization in f a c i l i t a t i n g comprehension, it is i n s t r u c t i v e to o b s e r v e what happens when c a t e g o r i c a l l y outlined m a t e r i a l is converted to topical f o r m . This c o n v e r s i o n is i l l u s t r a t e d f o r t h r e e r e a l - l i f e c a s e s in Figure 10. The basic c r i t e r i a behind the c o n v e r s i o n is the module limit. Each topical heading on the right (all caps) stands for no m o r e than 2 pages of copy; headings on the left stand f o r unknown amounts. A s s u m i n g c o h e r e n t original copy, no r e - w r i t e is p e r f o r m e d ; hence in converting, the existing m a t e r i a l r e a r r a n g e s itself into the topical units shown, dictating their own topical titles in the p r o c e s s , also just as shown. Thus, in Case 2 "Introduction" naturally and orginally consisted of two rougMy equal portions c o v e r i n g general advantages of the design and low cost of the d r u m m e m o r y . Note that the subheadings within the topics would still be employed in the modular f o r m . They just don't show in the outline, since being thematically dependent they a r e not c o n s i d e r e d a r e t r e i v a b l e item. Thus, in Case 3 the p a s s a g e on apportionment of s u b s y s t e m reliability goals is buried under the setting of goals in general. This is justified because, while i t could have been t r e a t e d independently by the author, it w a s n ' t , either in t e r m s of its own thematic unity or length. Note a l s o that the l o s s of outline orientation (context of subordination) at any given point in the topical outline is only apparent. The r e v e r s e is actually true in the printed text. Thus, in Case 3 the r e a d e r of the c a t e g o r i c a l copy might face a page c a r r y i n g only the subhead " E l e c t r o n i c Components. " The topical r e a d e r would see: "Missile Reliability, Effects of Storage and Handling on Components, Electronic Components. " Incidentally, the double topic on "Effects of Storage and H a n d l i n g . . . " is a typical instance of the non-topical " s t r u n g - o u t " module, consisting of a list of items with no b a s i s f o r thematic unity other than c a t e g o r i e s . The "continued" option is selected when a t t e m p t s t o achieve a useful distinction fail. This is a defect in the c o n v e r s i o n p r o c e s s , and the c a s e is fortunately infrequent since the v a r i o u s solutions take e x t r a effort. Two o b s e r v a t i o n s should be made about these e x a m p l e s . F i r s t , there is a significant and valuable i n c r e a s e in thesis visibility. Thus, in Case 1, the "CNFAR Quantization" label turns out to be hiding both a design a p p r o a c h and a set of test data (incorrectly lumped). Also, Case 2 is a good e x a m p l e of t h e s i s - r e v e a l i n g all the way through it. The r e v e l a t i o n is only hinted at in the m o r e specific topic titles. One m u s t imagine the i m p r o v e m e n t effected by w r i t t e n out T h e s i s Sentences s u m m a r i z i n g what is actually being said. Second, the independent " t h e m e level, " i. e . , the point to which the m a t e r i a l actually a d d r e s s e s itself (above the subordinate p a s s a g e s ) wanders back and forth unp r e d i c t a b l y in the c a t e g o r i c a l outline. It is this a b s e n c e of the s t r a i g h t - l i n e theme level which c a u s e s so much confusion to both the author and the r e a d e r in the R i v e r Raft approach.
*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/V0123, No. 3
Reprint 23
Original Categorical Outline "topical Outline after Conversion I. Design ..\ppruaeh for Automatic I)ctecuon Automatic Detection Principles ~ /~/---~/ ~ TECIINIQEES FOIl ACTOMATIC TAItGET I)ETECTiON CONSIDERATIUNS OF ItADAB ENVDtONMENT HUGIIES VIDEO PI{OCESSLNG METIIOI)S Adaptive Control Methods in Automatic Detection TIlE STATISTICAL VIDEO QUANTIZER CONCEPT
~ ABILITY TO VARYCNFAR TIIRESIIOI.DWITII RANGE PERFOI~MANCEDATAON MODELSTATISTICAl. QUANTIZEII
I. Automatic Detection A, Introduction B. Automatic Detection T~.chniques l) Introduction 2) External Baldar Phenomena Considerations / 3) CNFARQuantization ~ ' ~
Case I 4I MultilevelThresholds _ _ 5) Adaptive Environment Control
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/ USE OF PARALLEL CtlANNELS FOR AUTOMATIC SEE-TIII~OUGll ~ MEANS OF COMBATING FRIENDLY INTERFERENCE ~ ADJUSTING FALSE A L A R M R A T E T O OBTAIN SEE-ABOVE
b. Adjustments ~ 6l Pattern Analysis ~
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1 ADJUSTING DETECTION CRITEItlA Ft)B BROKEN-UP CLUTTEIt Pattern Analysis Methods illAutomatic Detection
PREVENTING FALSE T A R G E T ItEPORTS IIY flIT-PATTERN ANAI.YSIS t AUTOMATIC REPOIITS WI'FII MOVING-WINDOW DE'FECTt)I{
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[i1. (~ncral System Considerations A. Basic Considerations B. Computer Subsystem 1) Introduction - 2) Organizational Concepts a. Configuration A ~ b. Configuration B ~ ~ c. Test Unit Tie-In ~
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HI. Key System Concepts fiumnlary uf Approach ~ ~ CIIIEF PERFORMANCE 'rRADE-OFFS ~ AVOII)ANCE OF SPEED SACRIFICE Computer Design Goals . ' ~ ~ = = ~ = ~ = = ~ ~ ~ " " ~ " ~ ~ A D V A N T A G E S OF SPECIAL PUIIPOSE DESIGN LOW COST OF DRUM MEMORY IMI~ORTANCE OF AUTOMATIC TESTING DRAWBACKS OF CENTI/.AL CON'I'ROL
C. Radar Data Converter t) General _ _ 2) Major Functions of ItDC -. 3) Azimuth Conversion ~ a. ~'nchco Methods b. l)igitalhleUlods
c. Aecur~kcy Comparison
-~---~-'-"--"-----~- P R O P O S E D R E M O T E PROCESSING Selection of R D C Techniques CIHTiCAL NEED FOB MULTIPLE iNPUTS VIDEO Q U A N T I Z E B MOVED TO COMPUTEI( ~ AD\'ANTAGES OF ELECTIIONIC AZIMUTII CONVEIISIt)N
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I i, Missile lteliabflily LI Introduction ]
1. Missile Itcliabllity SETTING OF RELIABILITY ltEQUIItEMENTS AND GOALS
l.t.l SummaD' ~ I ASSUMPTIONS A B O U T MISSILE S T O R A G E A N D HANDLING , 1 2 Roqol ......t, to ,,o A0hievod I . EFFEUTSOrSTORAOEANDI,ANDLING ,NCOMPONEN l.l.3 Missile Sub System ReliabilityApportionments ~ / Jf E F F E C T S OF S T O R A G E A N D HANDLING ON C O M P O N E N T S (Cont,) / 1,2 Missile Storage and Handling / / / ] /~ .#CHOICE OI,' FLIGIIT RELIABILITY DIAGRAM & MATII MODEL 1.2A Missile U se Seq . . . . . , ~ _ _ _ _ . . _ / " / ~ / / ~ I.At'NC,, AND FLIG,,T HI.:L1ABI LITY PItE DIC'rIONS 1.2.2 Storage and Handling of Components /~///~ CONCLUSIONS ON TOTAL MISSILE RELIABILITY .ydroui,o Suh . lom Case 3 1.2.3 Quantitative t.3 Missile FHght Reliability 1.3.1 Missile Reliability Block Diagram / ~ 1.3.2 Missile Reliability Math Model ~ t,3.3 Launch and Flight ltcliabllity Predictions ~ 1,4 Total Missile ReUability t t,5 Evaluation and Conclusions ~ ~ " / /
/ / /
Figure 10. When R i v e r Raft copy is c o n v e r t e d to a topical organization, three tlfings happen: 1) the different p u r p o s e s of the c a t e g o r i c a l and topical headings b e c o m e apparent, 2) the c o m m o n level and s c o p e of the s e l f - c o n t a i n e d theme b e c o m e s distinguishable, and, 3) the t h e s e s b e c o m e m o r e v i s i b l e . The r e s u l t is a d r a m a t i c i n c r e a s e in the readerVs ability to predict content.
17
Reprint 24
Applying Thematic Quantization With STOP STORYBOARDING: A NEW WAY TO OUTLINE The STOP publication is planned, reviewed, and revised before it is written. This is necessitated by the topical organization and is made possible by the Storyboarding technique. Organizing control and ultimate manuscript content a r e improved simultaneously. In sharp c o n t r a s t to categorical outlining, the author of a STOP m a n u s c r i p t has to think in t e r m s of developing finite passages of argument or descriptions. He can no longer, m e r e l y arrange headings in various patterns and classes that seem to be logical. Since topical organizing means metering out the s t o r y in definite m e s s a g e modules, it becomes a problem of enumerating and quantizing the ideas of the subject matter dimensionally. Such an e x e r c i s e elicits an immediate and salutary concern for isolating the m o s t important points, for apportioning the number of points to best achieve relative emphasis, for sequencing the points to get maximum inevitability of s t o r y build-up, and for subordinating dependent considerations in the most coherent packaging. These concerns r e p r e s e n t the essence of organizing because they relate most directly to the intended strategy of discussion. The topical organization is achieved by planning the whole publication page by page in advance. This is done on " s c r i b b l e sheets" called Storyboards. Each Storyboard r e p r e s e n t s one two-page spread; it requires the preparation of a topic title, thesis sentence, some notation of content for each paragraph, and a rough sketch of the illustration if one is used. The combination of 1) explicit thesis formulation, and 2) common assumptions being made by team m e m b e r s about what can be said on the limited two pages which the Storyboard r e s p r e s e n t s , r e sults in less misunderstanding and con.fusion over the "outline." Enough detail is probed by the Storyboard to t r i g g e r the heuristic "think-symbolize-think" loop which is so n e c e s s a r y to arriving at optimum m e s s a g e structure, and which doesn't begin to happen in the conventional approach until actual sentence composition (as opposed to scribbling) is laboriously undertaken. By enabling mutual visualizations of content before writing, Storyboarding tends to eliminate the last-minute p r o g r a m "bash. " The tag-end review and revision cycle of the R i v e r - R a f t approach bumbles along as shown in Figure 11, building into a crisis, until the m a n u s c r i p t is ripped from the hands of the document m a n ager and rushed to the p r i n t e r ' s - often half-baked. E a r l i e r injection of the r e view and revision energy into the s y s t e m by the Storyboard method smooths out the p r o g r a m "curve", as well as resulting in a m o r e consistently treated and well-cured product. Figure 12 shows the assembly technique of reviewing Storyboards. The sheets are spread out, or pinned on a wall, to facilitate browsing and comparisions between topics. This way, the essential s t r a t e g y of whole sections can be visualized and appreciated in concrete t e r m s , quickly, yet in substantial detail. Improved responsiveness to R F P requirements, or to r e p o r t end purpose, is one result. Another is the d i s c o v e r y and elimination of redundancies and repetitions. E r r o r s and misunderstandings in technical approach frequently come to light. Since Storyboards are speedily worked up, new approaches can be tried out and discarded for difficult topics until the m o s t effective presentation is agreed upon by interested parties, including higher management if desired.
Reprint 25
52092. RIVER.RAFT OUTLINE MODULAR SUB i m LIST J STOR~~RDSR W WRI WRITE DRAFTS
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F i g u r e ii. Revising before writing is the s e c r e t of b e t t e r STOP control over document p r e p a r a t i o n . The c a t e g o r i c a l outline is still used, but p r o p e r l y t r e a t e d as only a tentative subject l i s t p r e p a r a tory to t h e s i s formulation via S t o r y boards.
52092 12 STORYBOARD REVIEWINGWALL
Figure 12. The Storyboard technique was borrowed from the motion picture industry. Each sheet
is brought to life with just enough detail, and means the s a m e thing to all viewers b e cause of its l i m i t e d thematic dimensions. G a l l e r y effect shows whole strategy, spots loopholes and o v e r l a p s .
19
Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3
Reprint 26
Applying Thematic Quantization With STOP
WRITING TO
STORYBOARDS
The Storyboard acts as a "writing s u p e r v i s o r " during the p r o c e s s of composition. It sets a stor), goal to c o m p a r e r e s u l t s against, thus evoking the a u t h o r ' s c r i t i c a l "editing" faculty as he c r e a t e s . Meanwhile, coherence is encouraged by the m o d u l a r " f r a m e of r e f e r e n c e . "
Composing a given passage according to a categorical outline has a high probability of promoting the spectrum of faults referred to as "rambling, wordy, diffuse," etc., since concision depends on the author's internal resolves. In contrast, writing to a thematically unified, agreed-upon and limited Storyboard instills by external means the attitude that an important issue is at stake, that a definite point must be made, and that every word counts in making it. Since the a u t h o r ' s efforts a r e checked and r e g u l a t e d by a p r e - e s t a b l i s h e d t h e s i s , his work is m o r e purposeful and confident. He is l e s s concerned with t h e s i s seeking, so the " b r i g h t afterthought" intrudes l e s s frequently, and must e a r n entry to the module by f o r c e of truly s u p e r i o r i m p o r t a n c e . Survival of the f i t t e s t thus becomes the c r i t e r i a even f o r authors not p r o f e s s i o n a l l y t r a i n e d in v e r b a l self control. Also, the e n g i n e e r finds that the space c o n s t r a i n t of the S t o r y b o a r d does not " c r a m p his s t y l e . " Like most conventions of form, it unleashes g r e a t e r c r e a t i v i t y by setting up an o r d e r l y d i s c i p l i n e and keeping out d i s t r a c t i n g o r g a n i z i n g anxieties. An o v e r - o p t i m i s t i c S t o r y b o a r d will s o m e t i m e s have to be expanded into additional topics when the author begins to actually w r i t e out the ideas in p a r a g r a p h form. The author always has this option of dividing growth m a t e r i a l into additional modules, provided that he builds them into s e p a r a t e , unified topics in t h e i r own right, and that page [imitations or other book s t r a t e g i e s a r e not violated. Conversely, w r i t e - u p s may c o l l a p s e during composition, t h e r e b y prompting a combination with other topic m a t e r i a l to avoid i n a p p r o p r i a t e e m p h a s i s . Since this c u t - a n d - t r y p r o cess can n e v e r be e n t i r e l y avoided, no m a t t e r how d e t a i l e d the outline, it is i m portant to r e g u l a t e it by the r u l e s of m o d u l a r unity during the composition phase, just as during o r i g i n a l Storyboarding. Once the author develops the knack for handling the inevitable content changes and shifts in e m p h a s i s by additional S t o r y boarding as he c o m p o s e s , the full utility of the m o d u l a r convention begins to be exploited. Two f u r t h e r i m p o r t a n t a s p e c t s of STOP come about while writing to S t o r y b o a r d s . The f i r s t is that the physical s e l f - c o n t a i n m e n t of the module c r e a t e s an e d i t o r i a l " f r a m e of r e f e r e n c e " which tends to induce t h e m a t i c unity, or coherence, by c o m m o n - s e n s e r e a c t i o n s to the module contents. The four r u l e s of t h e m a t i c unity a r e listed in F i g u r e 13. Violations of the f i r s t t h r e e make up the most common e r r o r s of e v e r y d a y communication: 1) beating around the bush, 2) not finishing what's s t a r t e d (or not coming to a conclusion), and 3) going off on tangents. Being expected to stand on its own feet, the m o d u l a r w r i t e - u p is f a r l e s s prone to these basic defects than is the R i v e r - R a f t n a r r a t i v e . The second a s p e c t of modular writing is the g r e a t e r attention it focuses on p e r t i nence. Exposure of the topic as a thing a p a r t from the o t h e r s implants the attitude that each topic must pull its own weight, by contributing something significant to the o v e r a l l document p u r p o s e . More lively and i n t e r e s t i n g documents r e s u l t , as soon as the e n g i n e e r i n g t e a m s gain a l i t t l e p r a c t i c e and f a m i l i a r i t y with the method.
Reprint
27
52092 13
THE ELUSIVE THESIS

THEMATIC UNITY
Q
PURPLE COW
HAVE A POINT: GET T O IT,
TREAT IT COMPLETELY.
KEEP OUT EXTRANEOUS MATTER.
RELATE FIGURE TO TEXT.
J
F i g u r e 13. The author checks his writing p r o g r e s s against his original intention by comparing his r e s u l t s against the Storyboard. Before h e ' s through, e i t h e r or both may have to change, but he will end up with a t h e s i s sentence and theme body that match, i . e . , " c o h e r e " . The effect of t h e f r a m e of r e f e r e n c e helps him "null out the loop" by m a k ing any disunity m o r e apparent.
21
Reprint 28
Applying Thematic Quantization With STOP SAMPLE STORYBOARDS The idea of a Storyboard is that it can be planned very quickly, once you know your technical approach, yet shows enough detail that others can see what you're driving at. The thesis should be a specific, arguable point, or contention, and the plan for the paragraphs should show a "build up" in the proof of the point, or otherwise clearly mirror and substantiate the opening proposition.
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Reprint 29
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* J o u r n a l o f C o m p u t e r D o c u m e n t a t i o n August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3
Reprint 30 Applying Thematic Quantization With STOP
HOW TO WRITE TOPIC H E A D I N G S It is tent, ative after i m p o r t a n t to r e c o g n i z e that the topic title m u s t c h a r a c t e r i z e and i n t r o d u c e the t h e m a t i c connot m e r e l y c a t e g o r i z e (label) the theme body. Topic t i t l e s a r e m o r e l i k e l y to be r e p r e s e n t and t o p i c a l l y faithful if they a r e (1) c o n s t r u c t e d as s e n t e n c e f r a g m e n t s , and (2) r e w r i t t e n c o m p o s i t i o n of the theme. T i t l e - w r i t i n g g u i d e l i n e s a r e s u m m a r i z e d h e r e . 1. Since they a r e not w r i t t e n to, Section and Subsection headings a r e OK as plain noun groups: System Tradeoff Analysis Data Processing Equipment Description 2. But, the author, reviewer and reader all need to know "what about?" the Topic Heading: "Receiver Design"- what about it? TRANSISTORIZATION OF RECEIVER DESIGN
3.
" T a r g e t T r a c k i n g " - what about i t ? NEED FOR REALISM IN TARGET UPDATING
Hence, the Topic Reading should be a p h r a s e (a sentence f r a g m e n t of 4 to 8 words), containing p r e p o s i t i o n s : DESIGN O F TOW CABLE FOR LOW DRAG (not "Tow Cable Design") REDUCTION O F NONSYSTEMATIC ERRORS (not " N o n s y s t e m a t i c E r r o r s " )
o r infinitives: THREE WAYS TO S I M P L I F Y ANTENNA DESIGN (not "Antenna Design")
o r "ing" v e r b s : 4. CONTROLLING CHARACTERISTIC IMPEDANCE (not " C h a r a c t e r i s t i c Impedance")
If you can take a position, show your attitude with q u a l i t a t i v e words: ADVANTAGES O F INTERLACING INSTRUCTIONS LIMITATIONS O F ANALOG AZIMUTH CONVERSION P I T F A L L S IN PROGRAM SCHEDULE CONCURRENCIES
5.
If at f i r s t you d o n ' t know "what a b o u t ? " the topic heading, go back and r e v i s e it for g r e a t e r p e r t i n e n c e a f t e r you have w r i t t e n out the S t o r y b o a r d (or rough draft).
Reprint 31
HOW TO WRITE THESIS SENTENCES Working out the thesis sentence of each topic is a crucial step in the STOP technique; it conf i r m s the intuitive ideas and feelings (thematic intention) which led to the Storyboard selection. The thesis sentence will s e r v e as a backstop for composition, and in its final version will serve as a thematic window for the r e a d e r . Many authors are already in the habit of writing conclusion statements near the ends of various text passages; these often can be converted into good thesis sentences with the addition of any needed s u m m a r i z i n g amplifications. Basic rules for t h e s i s - s e n t e n c e writing are listed h e r e . 1. The Thesis Sentence should state your proposition concisely, and it must boil down the theme body to 25-30 most informative words, showing the whole proposition and proof (or substance otherwise) at a glance. 2. Make the Thesis Sentence an argument, o r arguable hypothesis: Irrefutable, weak: "TRL gating c i r c u i t s have been designed to meet the requirements ." Refutable, strong: "TRL gating design has been adopted because active c i r cuits a r e the best way to achieve i n c r e a s e d fan out at the required s p e e d . " 3. There is a "design thesis" behind e v e r y block diagram or circuit write-up. So, no m a t t e r how low the level of detail, you never have to write equipment descriptions that m e r e l y describe. C o n t e m p o r a r y proposal evaluators consider straight descriptions tedious and nonpertinent. Since important technical detail must be included, find the original design issue, o r invent a point (even if it's "advantages of using a conventional and proven design"). 4. The purpose, of a unit, especially if difficult, makes a good thesis sentence for some b l o c k - d i a g r a m discussions because it reveals why the unit is organized the way it is: "The t e l e m e t r y s y s t e m must be capable of multiplexing the outputs of 20 hy~irophones and transmitting the information without degradation in a form suitable for t l m e - c o m p r e s s e d signal p r o c e s s i n g . " 5. If the topic m e r e l y embraces a collection of ideas or items unrelated by a single, definite proposition, then either s u m m a r i z e all the facts, o r call attention to one or two most important and noteworthy ideas. Go back and check the Thesis Sentence for its summarizing function after you have filled in the Storyboard (or written the draft). 6. Tests for a good Thesis Sentence:
own

Does it state an issue in such a way that it can be refuted? (i.e., expose its rationale). Does it repeat the key words of the theme body ? Does it e m b r a c e the m a j o r substance of any accompanying f i g u r e ? Does it contain adverbial conjunctions which show a train of reasoning (because, since, so, therefore, however, but m o r e o v e r , etc.)? Does it contain comparative adverbs and adjectives which show attitude and conclusions (more, least, highly, almost, too, very, good, better, only, etc.)?
25
Reprint 32
Applying Thematic Quantization with STOP
THE OVERALL STOP PROCEDURE
Doing a modular publication for the f i r s t time takes some daring and faith. Two points to r e m e m b e r : 1) focus the effort on Storyboarding and Storyboard reviewing, 2) get advice from STOP v e t e r a n s as a check on your p r o g r e s s . Making a Subject L i s t - It is p o s s i b l e to make out Storyboards d i r e c t l y , but the e a s i e s t way to do a l a r g e STOP book is to s t a r t by making a s u b j e c t - l i s t outline in the usual way. This should take l e s s than a day. Don't worry about topics at f i r s t . Concentrate on understanding the c a t e g o r i c a l r e q u i r e m e n t s imposed by the R F P or c o n t r a c t r e p o r t c l a u s e s . Sift out the subject c o v e r a g e demands and jot them down; use headings supplied by the R F P and throw in known " w o r r y - l i s t " i t e m s along the way. Next, work out a grand s t r a t e g y of r e s p o n s e . Blend your side of the story into the list; let the c u s t o m e r still see his c a t e g o r i e s . Now weight the subject a r e a s f o r d e s i r e d r e l a t i v e e m p h a s i s within an a r b i t r a r i l y decided maximum page limit. Allot the c o r r e s p o n d i n g number of topics (pages divided by 2) to each outline heading, roughly at the section level, and you a r e ready to s t a r t storyboarding. S t o r y b o a r d i n g - S t o r y b o a r d s can be filled out e i t h e r by the proposal or r e p o r t l e a d e r or the contributing authors, usually the l a t t e r . Work against the topic allotment to find a s t r a t e g y that highlights your technical approach most advantageously while i n c o r p o r a t i n g the r e q u i r e d subject a r e a s , e . g . , "What a r e the 2 or 3 i m p o r tant points that should be made (or 5 or 6) in the subsection on Antenna Description c o v e r i n g Feed, Phase Shffters and A r r a y E l e m e n t s ? " Take special c a r e in writing the Topic T i t l e s and Thesis Sentences; these enable other team m e m b e r s to a p p r e ciate what you will be driving at, not to mention yourself. Group R e v i e w - It is most c r u c i a l that the p r o p o s a l l e a d e r or document manager go through e v e r y Storyboard. Unless he t r i e s to pick them to p i e c e s the d e s i r e d mutual understanding won't come about. Convene the authors in one l a r g e group, or s m a l l e r groups f o r the va ri o u s sect i o n s; have each Storyboard r e a d ou~oud and r e c e i v e g r o u p - w i d e c r i t i c i s m . Does it c o v e r the ground, have the right slant, point up the significance of its approach to the c o m p a n y ' s advantage? Is it internally coherent, or do the p a r a g r a p h notations s t a r t to lead into other points not included in the T h e s i s Sentence? Often the " r e a l " t h e s i s is buried in the 4th or 5th p a r a g r a p h where it e m e r g e d a f t e r "author w a r m - u p ; " see ff you can spot it. Make changes now, otherwise the i n c o h e r e n c i e s you m i s s will c e r t a i n l y r e t u r n welded into the final draft. T r y to o v e r c o m e the conditioned apathy which automatically sets in whenever you look at someone e l s e ' s outline. The S t o r y b o a r d is no_~an outline; i t ' s the finished product. Overcoming this d i s b e l i e f is half the battle of STOP. Timing is also important (Figure 14).
Begin Writing- Storyboarding including review should be given several energetic days, but take less than a week. Start writing after you are satisfied with the exact construction of the whole document. Any changes that occur later will be improvements, not degradations.
Converting River-Raft Input- Some material always turns up in River-Raft form on a STOP project. No problem; it can be easily and profitably converted into modular form by the process of "Topicizing. " This process takes advantage of the innate topical structure of theme matter to sharpen up the presentation and detect thematic weaknesses. It brings about topic visibility so that modules can be constructed and the input slid into place along with the storyboarded material.
Reprint 33
Any good technical editor with some experience with STOP can do this as a service, including the writing of the thesis sentences ex post facto. The document manager should review and confirm the topicized modules (mock-ups), or better yet have the author review them with him. No editor can detect theme structure perfectly in badly organized River-Raft copy. When he e r r s in spotting the true thesis or topic boundary it's because the r e a d e r would have stumbled there also. Using the editor's pratfalls to "uncover those of the author is practical because the thematic alternatives show up quickly against the topical f r a m e w o r k - it's the next best thing to storyboarding in the f i r s t place. Paving the Way - Participants should be carefully briefed on the STOP methodology lest they misconstrue the whole thing as some trivial f o r m a t gimmick and react with the stung resentment of wise authorship. Get professional support for a briefing where objections and questions can be aired by team members. Have the right stock of materials, f o r m s and Instructions. If this is your f i r s t attempt, be sure to seek help from experienced STOP editors during Storyboard and final draft reviewing, or for converting assistance. Above all, make sure your Publications service area understands and is prepared for the changeover in technique.
,,,.,,,
TOO EARLY SUBJECT LISTING, TECHNICAL INCUBATION, STRATEGY SETTLING DEVELOP, REVIEW AND R E~/ISE STORYBOARDS WRITING
52o92, I S
Figure 14. The trick in managing a STOP project is feeling out the right moment to concentrate on the Storyboards. It can be incremented over piecemeal submittals, it may vary for different authors, but it must not be forgone.
27
Reprint 34
SubsectionApplying Thematic Quantization with STOP
STORYBOARD REVIEWING The m e a n i n g of S t o r y b o a r d i n g is that a l a r g e and c o m p l e x publication can be planned and c o n t r o l l e d without the s u p p r e s s e d confusion that b u i l d s up into a l a s t - m i n u t e c r i s i s . Many r e c e n t p r o p o s a l s and r e p o r t s have p r o v e n this t e c h n i q u e . * F i g u r e s 15, 16, and t7 i l l u s t r a t e s t o r y b o a r d review.
F i g u r e 15.
T e a m r e v i e w of s t o r y b o a r d s encourages cross-fertilization and shows each c o n t r i b u t o r w h e r e he fits in and w h e r e he d o e s n ' t . The d o c u m e n t m a n n get can point to w h e r e the w r i t e r i s going off the t r a c k , and c o n t r i b u t e definite f i x e s , i n s t e a d of j u s t t a l k i n g about objectives, slant or desired e m p h a s i s in vague g e n e r a l i t i e s .
F i g u r e 16.
T e a m r e v i e w of t o p i c i z e d mock-ups, converted from R i v e r - R a f t m a t e r i a l , is a n o t h e r good technique. T o p i c a l m o c k - u p s give quick insight into e s s e n t i a l p r o p o s i t i o n s of a p r o p o s a l . Obvious r u l e s of T h e m a t i c Unity help t e a m m e m b e r s r e a c h a g r e e m e n t s fast, t r y new g a m b i t s e a s i l y , c o n t r o l t r a n s i t i o n and continuity e f f e c t s . One can a c h i e v e final c o h e r e n c e without a m a s t e r y of " l i t e r a r y " skills.
Including ADAR, Colossus, NADGE, ASMS, and ARIA. On ASMS 2,000 pages were converted to modular form in 2 weeks by the "topicizing" process, the reverse-storyboarding technique for manuscript analysis. It received compliments from the Navy evaluation team.
Reprint 35
52092-20
h
n is to cover System Design v ~ N N with these three spreads: arpose is to get greatest msitivity. / eehnique is to go p a r a m e t r i c . / ~plementation will take these special stages. " .~/
f
to
parametric approach back here and it \

looks like the same t h i n g - he just
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in another table ... "
' . ' ~ A l s o , you call out the bufferi n ~ / *~s system diagram. Do you intend ) discuss i t ? "
~k no he s h o u l d n ' t - that b e l o n g s ~ : in Section 11I. He shouldn't ) go into those detaila'. " y
Figure 17. Storyboard review session shows that theme content can be observed and influenced by others in some detail before it becomes locked up in a weighty manuscript.
29
*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Voi 23, No. 3
Reprint 36
S u b s e c t i o n - Applying Thematic Quantization with STOP
CONVERTING FROM RIVER-RAFT TO MODULAR
"Topicizing" a River-Raft manuscript into modular f o r m is a powerful technique for editorial analysis. It provides instructions for optimum revisions by "mechanical" means, which insure good results by enforcement of Thematic Quantization, thus is relatively free of subjective bias. Because of its innate topical structure, conventional r e p o r t and proposal manuscript can be converted for River-Raft to modular form by an editing p r o c e s s called "topicizing. " T,opicizing lays bare the inner segments of discourse, brings the theses to the surface, and while doing so, reveals the topical disunities and other thematic or rhetorical weaknessess of the original organization with a clarity that is fascinating. It is a method for treating existing run-on material for STOP publication, and an excellent method for editing and revising copy r e g a r d l e s s of ultimate format. Topicizing is essential in many STOP productions, since some amount of River Raft material is always being plagiarized, submitted, or otherwise on hand in non-modular form and in need of blending with Storyboarded modular material. The l a r g e r and more incomprehensible the pile of manuscript is that needs the t r e a t ment, the more effective and valuable the topicizing p r o c e s s becomes. The topicizing procedure is d i a g r a m m e d in Figure 18. Its f i r s t three mechanical steps are important: 1) spreading out the m a n u s c r i p t pages is essential for scanning back and forth rapidly; 2) careful marking of the figure and table r e f e r e n c e s must be done to accurately define the a r t / t o p i c relationships;3) the figures (or copies of them) must be obtained for treatment along with the text. If printed text is being topicized, two copies must be employed so that it can be treated as one-side-only material. Establishing a routine pattern for physically handling the material may sound sophomoric, but greatly facilitates the editorial decisions that follow. The next step (4) is locating the topic boundaries, which is done by scanning very rapidly, not for total content, but to determine where the author "changes the subJect, " i . e . , leaves one topical phase and enters the next. This p r o c e s s is more or less intuitive, depending on the author's original clarity of organizing, but the ability to spot the break lines that demarcate units of thematic independence comes with some practice (and faith in their existence). The a u t h o r ' s transistional hints help, but cannot be depended upon since this is not the age of literary courtesy. Categorical headings frequently do not help and have to be ignored. Sometimes a b r u t e - f o r c e 500-word m e a s u r e m e n t will put you close to the boundary in doubtful cases, believe it or not. The copy is then cut apart on the topic lines and r e a s s e m b l e d as integrated units on mock-up sheets large enough to accommodate both the text and a r t ("C" size). These modular mock-ups r e p r e s e n t a tentative interpretation of the "true" topical content of the text. Critiquing is then performed, which includes writing new topic titles, extracting a thesis from the discussion by close reading ant expressing it in sentence form, then examining the whole effect of the theme body for defects in the four rules of Thematic Unity, continuity, pertinence, correspondence to the Thesis Sentence, and copy fit within module dimensions. Topicizing invariably results in significant organizational changes. Passages are moved to new positions or a r r a n g e d in different combinations for s t r o n g e r coherence, or improved logic of topic sequence. F r a g m e n t s are discovered and expanded, combined or eliminated. Missing links in overall strategy and technical oversights come to light and prompt the generation of new material. The ' b u z z - s a w " analytical power of toplcizing, which at first s e e m s an a l m o s t mechanical procedure, is amazing to witness and testifies to the effectiveness of Thematic Quantization as an editorial principle.
Reprint 37
52092- 19
SPOTTHERAFTS~
FIGURESWITH RFRNE EE E C S /3) FINDTHE ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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es.. Coaventlona] read"~,,s u~ ~ne tentative mock-ups by topical principles is needed to confirm it. Any defects in Thematic Unity are glar~ngly spotlighted.By the time these are corrected, 95~o of all that could be wrong with the manuscrlpt has been cured (the rest is a language or style problem).
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*Journal of Computer DocumentationAugust ] 999/Vol 23,No.3
Reprint 38
Subsection - Applying Thematic Quantization with STOP THE TOPICIZING OPERATION

If the document manager is stuck with a large pile of River-Raft input that is so difficult to fathom it would cause embarrassment with the customer, the best way to "bash it out" is to convert to modular topics (see Figure 19). With some fast author confirmation of topic titles, sequence, and thesis sentences, one good technical editor can topicize about 75 pages a day.
52092.2~
~ d o e s
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ages the subject right ought he was just showing~

cases. "
t he goes into these f i ~ r e ~ s . I still haven't got the 1st case, and this passage is worth consideringall /
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~ble topic pieces o n ' ~ ~rence"mockup.
Figure 19. The conversion process is started by finding the topic boundaries, cutting and mechanically rearranging the material into tentative topic modules.
Reprint 39
52092-22
~"Looks like tile first 2 topicsa r ~ e I on system description. He gets t o ) kay. the problem in the 3rd. " j
ok here, under "Design A p p r o a c h ~ " ding, he's really talking about why / r-projection is better under high" ) )ient lighting. " J
Figure 20. Critiquing, Analysis of material as self-contained topics uncovers the strategy of argument and btu'ied theses.
5209223
"
.,m,.--~,--.~.~. -._____L _ . ~." -
.,.
'
\ \
at's the thesis of this module : : w
He shows in this table all the MTBF's / of past systems, but tile test is on .] ~ x ~ n i z a t i o n of tlle PE team: " J
Figure 21. More Critiquing. constraints.
Organizing defects show up under tile "black lig'ht" of thesis - unity
33
Reprint 40
S u b s e c t i o n - A p p l y i n g T h e m a t i c Q u a n t i z a t i o n with STOP THE "AUDIO-VISUAL" TECHNIQUE FOR MATH W R I T E - U P S 1
Math w r i t e - u p s can be m o d u l a r i z e d to g r e a t a d v a n t a g e ff an " a u d i o - v i s u a l " a p p r o a c h is u s e d which t r a n s l a t e s the i m p o r t a n t e q u a t i o n s , s t a t e s the r e a s o n s f o r the d e r i v a t i o n s , and s e p a r a t e s the e q u a tions f r o m the w o r d s . T h e r e is a c o m m o n m i s c o n c e p t i o n that long m a t h d e r i v a t i o n s in p r o p o s a l s m u s t be t r e a t e d a s n a r r a t i v e c o n t i n u u m s without t o p i c a l d i v i s i o n s . It is f o s t e r e d by page s p a c i n g r e q u i r e m e n t s a n d the a s s u m p t i o n that the p r o p o s a l r e a d e r is a d e s i g n e n g i n e e r o r m a t h e i n a t i c i a n w i l l i n g and a b l e to supply m i s s i n g r e a s o n i n g . Most e n g i n e e r s , f o r e x a m p l e , think of a m a t h e m a t i c a l d i s c u s s i o n a s a continuous and u n i n t e r r u p t e d s t r e a m of p r o p o s i t i o n s b e c a u s e of the s t e p w i s e i n t e r d e p e n d e n c e of the e x p r e s s i o n s . So the u s u a l a s s u m p t i o n is that a " m a t h e m a t i c a l s u b j e c t " cannot be t h e m a t i c a l l y quantized, but it t u r n s out that if t h e s i s s e n t e n c e s a r e p r e p a r e d and the r e s u l t i n g text h o l e s f i l l e d in a c c o r d i n g l y , the m a t e r i a l can be t o p i c a l l y d i v i d e d . The w i d e - s p a c i n g r e q u i r e m e n t f o r equation d e r i v a t i o n s is thought to be a n o t h e r r e a s o n why m a t h t o p i c s c a n ' t be f i t t e d on t w o - p a g e s p r e a d s a s f e a s i b l y as l i n g u i s t i c t o p i c s . This can be o v e r c o m e by r e c a p t u r i n g the l a r g e a m o u n t s of s p a c e that a r e w a s t e d on the t y p i c a l m a t h p a g e . T h e r e is a f u n d a m e n t a l way in which the t o p i c a l i m p o r t of the d i s c o u r s e could be m a d e m o r e v i s i b l e in m a t h w r i t e - u p s a s w r i t t e n c o n v e n t i o n a l l y . A c c o r d i n g to a UCLA m a t h e m a t i c s p r o f e s s o r , D r . L. D. Kovach, " S y m b o l s can be u s e d to g r e a t e r a d v a n t a g e by the e n g i n e e r if he r e a l i z e s that they a r e i n t e n d e d to convey v i s u a l i n f o r m a t i o n . The a u r a l i n f o r m a t i o n a c c o m p a n y i n g the s y m b o l s h o u l d be p r o v i d e d by a t r a n s l a t i o n of the s y m b o l s , to p r o v i d e the c e r t a i n a m o u n t of r e d u n d a n c y that is n e c e s s a r y to good w r i t t e n c o m m u n i c a t i o n . ,,2 The need f o r t r a n s l a t i o n is e s p e c i a l l y acute in the r e p o r t and p r o p o s a l . Raw e q u a t i o n s s t a t e r e l a t i o n s h i p s well to y o u r c o - w o r k e r who will w o r k out d e s i g n c o n s e q u e n c e s f r o m them, but they c a n ' t s u b s t i t u t e f o r the l i n g u i s t i c e x p l a n a t i o n to the r e p o r t and p r o p o s a l r e a d e r who j u s t wants to h e a r about y o u r d e s i g n . F o r him, e q u a t i o n s w o r k b e s t when they a r e u s e d a s i l l u s t r a t i o n s of what is being s a i d in sentences. But the m a t h p r o b l e m t a k e s m o r e than adding a u r a l " r e d u n d a n c y " s o the v e r b a l s t e p s of the a r g u m e n t will be e a s i e r to ' R e a r . " S t e e r i n g m u s t a l s o be given s o that the end p u r p o s e of m a j o r s t a g e s of the d i s c o u s e can b e f o r e s e e n and a p p r e c i a t e d . Math w r i t e - u p s and equation d e r i v a t i o n s i n v a r i a b l y a r e j u s t i f i c a t i o n s o r s u p p o r t ing e v i d e n c e f o r d e s i g n d e c i s i o n s which can (and should) be g r a s p e d in v e r b a l t e r m s . One of the m o s t v a l u a b l e things the t u t o r i a l p a s s a g e can include is s t a t e m e n t s of p u r p o s e like: "This a p p r o a c h ( o r conclusion) is j u s t i f i e d (or r e q u i r e d ) by the such and such r e l a t i o n s h i p , which will now be i l l u s t r a t e d . " T h e s e s t a t e m e n t s s t e e r the r e a d e r by showing him what to look for, pace his r e a d i n g by holding up " m i l e a g e p o s t s , " and k e e p his a t t e n t i o n on the s u b j e c t . W h e t h e r he is a m i l i t a r y e v a l u a t o r o r Hughes t a s k m a n a g e r , the p r o p o s a l r e a d e r f a c e s a c o n s t a n t q u e s t i o n at e v e r y m o m e n t of r e a d i n g : '~Why a m I r e a d i n g this ? " 1 F o r f u r t h e r e x a m p l e s and d e t a i l s , s e e How to Handle Math W r i t e - U p s i p__STOP P r o p o s a l s and R e p o r t s , ID 6 5 - 1 0 - 5 , Nov. 64. - 2"Sign L a n g u a g e in E n g i n e e r i n g , " a t IEEE E n g i n e e r i n g C o m m u n i c a t i o n s S y m p o s i u m , M - ~ - i g a n State U n i v e r s i t y , 1961
Reprint
ii
41 On the other hand, the engineer contributing to a r e p o r t or proposal on a tight schedule is naturally disinclined to invest u n n e c e s s a r y time and effort in writing amplifying r e m a r k s . It is often not recognized that very little is actually required to satisfy the r e a d e r ' s constant q u e s t i o n - a hint about forthcoming logical uses of the relationship is as good as any e a r t h - s h a k i n g consequence to the technical s t r a t egy. What helps is the recognition of topical boundaries within the discussion (that is, the alJplication of STOP principles). Arranging the m a t e r i a l into a theme sequence gives a limited set of definite places for stating the end purposes. The purpose statements become part of the Thesis Sentence for each topic. The Thesis Sentence t r i e s to cover neither too much nor too little. Hence the author is not faced with explaining the perambulations of umpteen pages, just the few major stages of the discourse. The need for both aural translations and n a r r a t i v e s t e e r i n g is well served by s e p a r ating the equations from the text altogether to c r e a t e a two-channel, t e x t - v e r s u s equation format. The topic is developed in s t r a i g h t sentence-and-paragraph form on one page; the equations, together with any list of definitions, a r e displayed by themselves on the facing page - with little wasted space on either side. The result is to encourage more self-sufficiency in the text. Dr. Kovach's "aural information" is provided with less hesitance over condescending. The need for end-purpose statements stands out m o r e c l e a r l y . The spectrum of r e a d e r s h i p levels is more equally accommodated. A sample math topic illustrating this audio-visual approach is given in Figure 22 and 23 in the following module. In the sample (see following spread), note that the discussion covers Equations (13) through (20). All steps in a derivation are not equally important. Here the author has broken out a logical phase (covering eight equations) out of a 38-equation section. The section was t r e a t e d in five such topics, averaging 7.6 equations each, and each with a definite thesis.
35
Reprint 42
S u b s e c t i o n - A p p l y i n g T h e m a t i c Q u a n t i z a t i o n with S T O P
SAMPLE
AUDIO-VISUAL
MATH
TOPIC
52092-24
DERIVATION
OF SEARCH AVERAGE
POWER
By r e c o g n i z i n g the s e a r c h r a t e as a p r i m a r y s y s t e m p e r f o r m a n c e r e q u i r e m e n t , a design equation can be d e r i v e d in which s e a r c h rate figu_res as an independent v a r i a b l e , and which is i n s e n s i t i v e to t r a n s m i t a r r a y design f a c t o r s . The s e a r c h function is b a s i c a l l y different f r o m the t r a c k function in that each t r a n s m i s s i o n i l l u m i n a t e s an a r e a of space, w h e r e a s in t r a c k the t r a n s mitted pulse ideally i l l u m i n a t e s only the object being tracked. This diff e r e n c e m e a n s that the R F power r e q u i r e d m u s t be i n s e n s i t i v e to the number of t r a n s m i t elementS' o r the' design of the t r a n s m i t a r r a y . The s e a r c h functt6u~ts'~pe~ified in t e r m s of the s e a r c h r a t e m s t e r a d m n s p e r second (se6'~I~ie"2-XX). The s e a r c h r a t e is defined in Equation (13) (see Table 2-XXI) to be the product of the a r e a illuminated p e r look t i m e s the number of looks per second. The a r e a illuminated p e r t r a n s m i s s i o n is f u r t h e r defined in Equation (14) as the product of a b e a m - s t a c k i n g f a c t o r t i m e s the solid angle p e r t r a n s m i t beam. This r e l a t i o n applies only for a fixed beamwidth and a c o r r e c t i o n must be introduced to allow for the effects of beam broadening r e s u l t i n g f r o m scanning off b r o a d s i d e . Equation (15) r e l a t e s the t r a n s m i t beamwidth to a r r a y d i a m e t e r and to the number of t r a n s m i t e l e m e n t s in Equation (17) using the r e l a t i o n given in (16). The solid angle illuminated p e r t r a n s m i t beam is expanded by substitution of Equation (18) into Equation (14). The r e s u l t i n g e x p r e s s i o n is combined with Equation (13) to give Equation (19), in which s e a r c h r a t e is related to the r a d a r design p a r a m e t e r s . The s e a r c h r a t e is contained implicitly in Equation (6) as d e r i v e d in the p r e v i o u s topic. Combining Equations (6) and (19) allows the a v e r a g e g e n e r a t e d RF power to be e x p r e s s e d explicitly in t e r m s of the s e a r c h rate, as d e m o n s t r a t e d in Equation (20). An investigation of Equation (20) indicates that the RF p o w e r g e n e r a t e d is independent of the n u m b e r of t r a n s m i t e l e m e n t s and a r e a p e r t r a n s m i t e l e ment, and is i n v e r s e l y proportional to the f i r s t power of the number of r e c e i v e e l e m e n t s and a r e a p e r element. The a p p e a r a n c e of the ~2 t e r m in the denominator of the e x p r e s s i o n i m p l i e s an advantage in l o w e r f r e quencies of operation. This advantage does not m a t e r i a l i z e except for v e r y long wavelengths, as wLll be shown when the t a r g e t c r o s s - s e c t i o n variation with f r e q u e n c y is analyzed in a l a t e r topic.
F i g u r e 22.
T h e " a u d i o - v i s u a l " t e c h n i q u e of w r i t i n g f r o m the w o r d s so that the text b e c o m e s c o n t i n u i t y . The p r o p o s a l / r e p o r t r e a d e r on the left; the a u t h o r ' s t e c h n i c a l d e s i g n nel on the r i g h t .
m a t h t o p i c s s e p a r a t e s the e q u a t i o n s m o r e s e l f - s u f f i c i e n t and has b e t t e r is " s p o k e n to" in the text c h a n n e l p e e r is " s h o w n " in the f i g u r e c h a n -
Reprint 43
52092 -25
TABLE 2-XXL
ANALYSIS OF SEARCH AVERAGE POWER = t Fd T
(13) Ps
(14) ~t
= F2 0t s 2
(15) 0t
= D--t
,.
.:?.
0-7)
2 t
7r ~2 4 2 ~s
1 N t At
(18)
= F2 s
~r % 2 4 2
~'s
i NtA t
(i 9)
s
= F2 ~ ~ s 4 ~2
S
i Nt A t
Fd
k T e R4 (S/N)s s
(20) P s
= Nr A r ~ ) 2 s F2
S
Ls Ps 16
TABLE 2-XX.
PS =
PARAMETERS FOR SEARCH AVERAGE POWER ANALYSIS
s e a r c h rate in s t e r a d i a n s per second n u m b e r of t r a n s m i s s i o n s per second s t e r a d i a n s of space illuminated p e r t r a n s m i t pulse b e a m - s t a c k i n g factor or beam spacing n o r m a l i z e d to a r e c t a n g u l a r beam lattice with one beamwidth spacing t r a n s m i t 3-db beamwidth d i a m e t e r of the t r a n s m i t a r r a y (equivalent d i a m e t e r for n o n c i r c u l a r arrays)
Fd/'~ =
~/t F
S 0t
= =
=
Dt
F i g u r e 22. C o n t i n u e d .
37
Reprint 44
Subsection - Applying Thematic Quantization with STOP USE OF THE THESIS SENTENCES TO WRITE THE SUMMARY A good s u m m a r y can be c r eat ed easily by compiling and editing the thesis sentences. This can be a significant advantage to the p r o p o s a l / r e p o r t m an ag er on a l ar g e or h u r r i e d publication,
The modular document should begin with a s u m m a r y j u s t as any r e p o r t or proposal - even though the r e a d e r is less in need of avoiding the text body. It is often advised to write the s u m m a r y last. This is good advice because the su m m ar y falls h e i r to the same thematic ills as does the body of the document, namely, lack of c l e a r lines of argument, empty sal es exhortations, s t a r t i n g new stories, and imbalanced detail, but suffer m o r e as a result. These problems a r e cured e a s i e r in the summary ff taken as the last step. The existence of the w e l l - a b s t r a c t e d set of thesis sentences makes s u m m a r y writing easy and t h e i r r e v i e w s e r v e s as a double check on the document contents. The thesis sentence can be compiled by a typist to c r e a t e the rough draft of the s u m m a r y . Appropriate editing will then produce a s u m m a r y which is guaranteed to c o v e r all m a j o r i s s u e s . An example of this technique is shown opposite (Figure 23~ c i r c l e d numbers r e f e r to the thesis list given on the next spread (Figure 24). Note the shifting of topic 19 to a front position, and the use of 18 to support 8. These outline changes a r e in keeping with the s u m m a r y ' s appropriate emphasis on selling and its higher level of g en er al i t y , r e s p e c t i v e l y . If an expanded v e r s i o n is desired, f o r the very long publication, the Summary title can be run as a subsection heading, then thesis sentences can be grouped by appropriate category ( e . g . , Technical Approach, Management Plan, etc) and each t r e a te d as a topic with its own new thesis sentence.
Reprint 45
SUMMARY
HUGHES' PROPOSED PROGRAM WILL PRODUCE THE DESIGN CRITERIAAND DETERMINE THE TYPES OF PHYSICAL DESIGN VARIATIONS NECESSARY TO OPTIMIZE THERE$ISTANCE OF TRANSISTORS TO SPACE RA,DIATION." THIS ~[LL BE ACCOMPLISHED BY DEI'ELOP[NG A N D EXPERIMENTALLY VERIFYING A 3- DIMENSIONAL TRA NS[STOR M ODEL
t~
f4
With accurate information available on the effects of de. D-dimensional equation determine the selection ofthep~ram sign, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . i . . . . . . . bc designed to minimizeth . . . . . . . h . . . . led in th . . . . . daters/Hughes has dir,.ctlv~ _._.j~r i S ~ electric.a[ perturbations caused by the space.particulate radia/relevant experience in fabrication of custom designed elan. ~ lion environment while still r~alntn~l dsircd electrical Siltors as lest devices that provide greatly improved radation] propenies,~Techniques for the prediclion of transistor op, I ~ects pr~:ltctloni. ,~ eration in this environment can now be developed, due to s~~"--------( Since radtttion damage apparel principally as change previous studies by Hughes and others, of the e~cct s of high in DC currenl gain, this param~er is the principal one In bc J ener~ radiation in semiconductor devices. monitored d urinl~ ir r adiau on,lConvenienl and direa methods ~t A theoretical model which best describes the damage to measuring changes in current gain are available which ~ 1 ~ 1 ~ trransistors musl furnish a highly realistic description of ~satis~ the lisumptions implicit in the eClUali. . . . J radiation e'lTects at the surface and throu~ghout the volume of The analytical model must be validated by experiments / ~ ~ the transislor.~Th 'l~odel must account in a natural way for" Experimental irradiation must include both proton and dec. surfaca.recombination velocity as a design parameter and tron experiments since the rdativ cffectiveness o( prolons must also account for the c~'ccts of dlss~mmc~q, in the lean-, and electrons in producing rldiaUon damage can only be sistor structurc,SThese conditions cannot be met on a letisdetermined by experiment. faclory manner 'by the conventional 1.dimensions[ transistor mode!. Therefore Hughes will develop t 5-dimensional To accomplish the above proposed program, close1 model from which expressions can be derived to provide oordination is required bctwcc:n the device designer and the belt ertterll for designing radiation-real;rant devices. manufacturer and the radiation ITCetsexperimcnlalisL The Involved in the verification of this model will be the L requisite coordinaIion on be accomplished only when com. ml~cial plroprietary information is exchanged ~redy. This investigetlon of certain design variations to determine their condition of f r o interchange occurs in Hughes wilhin rdsalve imporumct; these vsratlons - haac width, dl~uslon single corporate Itructure which posleases both rad~tion doping level|, emhler radius, gold doping concentration and ~ects capabilities and scmlconduclot design and manusurface condition can be made mOll reliably with silicon, planar tnmalstors.~The terms appearing in the ttt~encraliled, facturing cap|blJltiea,
r,f
....
13 )
Figure 23.
Compilation of T h e s i s Sentences to F o r m B a s i s of Summary (Numbers Refer to Topics Shown on Next Page)
39
Reprint
46 Subsection - Applying Thematic Quantization with STOP
TOPICS COVERED BY SAMPLE SUMMARY

52092-27
Section Z TECHNICAL DISCUSSION
THE NEED TO EXTEND THE I"DIMENSIONAL RADIATION DAMAGE MODEL TO 3 DIMENSIONS

A II)I,HFN~IONAL TIIFORFI'ICC,tL UODFL F('R%'I~NI.~" 71tE H O S T REALI,~TIC REPRE~ENTAI"O,V OF R A D IA TIO N EFFECT~ A T THE ~I'RFA('E .4NI) TtIROI'GNOI'7" THE VOLUME t~F A ~E,HICONDUCTtIR Dk VICF
-@
--0
LIMITATIONS OF I- DIMENSIONAL MODELS

.4 I. DIAIEN*IhN'AL MOI)EL DOEr VOT PROVIDF REAI I~TIr" I)F*'RIPTIOV~" FOR ['I.RT'AI,N' I,HPORT.t VT TYPE~ OF TRANglITOR~
USING A $- DIMI~NSIONALMODEL TO SHOWTHE EFFECT OF SURFACE RECOMBINATION

.I I DI,HFV~ION.II HtH)F/ FI'FN IA' A I.~fPIF t'YL/.VI}RI'AL FORAI ~24h'E~ INTO A(~7(H'NT I V A N A T L'FIAL FFAY MIRFACE.RECOMRhVA TION I'ELOCITY AS A DESIGN PA RAME TAR
--0
ADVANTAGES OF A MODEL THAT ACCOUNTS FOR DISSYMMETRY IN TRANSISTOR CONFIGURATIONS

TO OFITAIN TIIF ,~IO.TT RF.41ITTIC REPRR*R.VT4TION OF TRANTI~TOR BRH,4I'HIR IN A RAI)I,4TION ENVIRO,VMRNZ ,4 I-DIMEN$1OAML MODEL T H A T ACCOUNT$ FOR THE EFFR~Tr$ O f DISSYMAfETRY hV TRA N~I,tTOR .*TR~ "FTI'RE ~HIII'I.D FIE I ' t E l l
DERIVATION OFF REALISTIC EXPRESSIONS TO PROVIDE OPTIMUM DESIGN CRITERIA

L/(IN(; THE MORE REALI,*TI(' MODEL, E.X'PRESSION~' CA N BE I)ERIVED TO PROVIDE TIll" BFTT CRITERIA
FOR DE,~IGNING RA DIA T/ON R FI'I.*TANT .~EMICONDUFTOR DF t'ICE~
THE NEED FOR EXPERIMENTAL COMPARISON OF PROTON AND ELECTRON RADIATION EFFECTS
7"HE RRLATII'E FFFFCTII'ENE.*~ OF PROTONS . 4 N D ELFC7"R~N~ IN PRODIt('LVG TPA(TE R..IDI.4TION D,4SI.tGE (;IN ONL y fIR D E T E R M IN E D El" IRRADIA TION RXPFRLWRN7"T
-Q
ADVANTAGES OF HUGHES' EXPERIMENTAL APPROACH OVER PREVIOUS RADIATION EFFECTS PROGRAMS

"I'ltF llUGHE~ PROGRAM OF FXPERLIIFNT~ WITH CIU.TTOM. DESIGNED TRAN~I~TORS IN SPEt'IFIED R A D I A T I O N ENI'IRONMENTT I1~'I~1 REM'LT IN G R E A T L Y LIfpROVED R A D I A T I O N EFFEFT* PRFDIrTION~
-@
DESIGN VA, RIATION$ IMPORTANT TO RADIATION RESISTANCE

CERTAIN DE,~IGN IIARIATION.T MU.~T RF I,%'I'F*TIOATED TODFTFR,HINR THFIR RFLATII'F IUPORTANr'F 151 DE.*IGNING ,4 TE.WIC~IJNI)Ug'TOR DEI'It'E FOR R A D IA T IO N RE.TI*T'ANI'E. TtfF~F I ' I R I t T I O V - RA ~P If'lOT/l, DIFFU*IO.V I)OI'INC L E l ' E t i EMITTER RADIU.* GOLD I)OPING CDNCENTRA TION. A N D I'R FACE CONDITION - C~N 8E ,WADE .IfO*T REI.I,tRLY II7TH ~II. ICON PLANAR TRAN$1~7"OR*
METHODS OF MEASURING RADIATION-INDUCED CHANGES IN DC CURRENT GAIN

COA'VE,VIENT AND DIRECT METHOD.T OF ,WEASURING RADIATION. INDUCEDCHANCES IN CURRENT GAIN ARE A VAILAFIE
-Q
IMPROVEMENT OF RADIATION RESISTANCE OF MAJORITY CARRIER DEVICES

I lib I.'/g('I' ~'I'FP "I'/HI:IRI)~ I,WPROI'ING T/IF R A D IA T IO N RF~ISTAN('E OF FIELD ~FFECT TRA,%'~I~TOR~ I~ II)Ek TIFYI.VG TIlE ~IJ~f'FPTIBI, F PARA,H~TER
Section 3 PI~ O P O S E D PROGRAM
DEVELOPMEIVF OF THEORETICAL MODEL (PHASE 1)

A (;ENRRALIZTED EQL:ATIOA~ BASED GV .4 I DLtfE,%'SION.,IL MODEL A N D CD.~fBINEll ~"F,'H A.% E,U PIRICAL RELA FION FOR ,HINORITY ('ARRIER DEGRADATION. 15 A SIORE ACCURATE ENPRES,IHt\ OF T H f DEPENDENCE OF CUfiRENT GAIN ON R A D I A T I O N FLUX
-@
FABRICATION OF TEST DEVICES (PHASE 11)

THE. TER3f,~ AppEARINGI,%'THEGE31ER.tLIZEDJ.DI.HENSIONA/ EQS"ATION IJETERMINE I'lIg ~FI.F('TION OF TttE PARA,HETER$ TO BE i'.tRIED IN FARRICATL~'(; T E * T DEVICEi"
Figure 24. Contents of proposal (covered by sample summary, p. 39) can be appreciated in depth by scanning compilation of topic titles and thesis sentences.
Reprint 47
52092 -2
Section 3 PROPOSED PR OGR AM (Continued)
IRRADIATIONTESTING (PIIASE m
BECAUSE RADIATION" DAMAGE APPEARS PR/NCIPALLYASCHANGESINDC CURRENT GAIN. THIS PARAM. ETER ~l'ILL BE THE PRINCIPAL ONE MONITORED DURING THE IRRADIATION.
DEVELOPMENT OF DESIGN SPECIFICATIONS (PHASE If)

HUGHES' PROPOSED PROGRAAI ~'ILL PRODUCE DESIGN CRITERIA, APPLICABLE TO A ~IDE RAN(iF OF SILICON PLANAR TRANSISTORS, WHICH ~rlLL DETERMINE THE TYPE OF PHYSICAL DESIGN VARIATIONS NECESSARY TO MINIMIZE SPACE RADIA TION EFFECTS AND THE EXTENT TO If'HIGH THEY ARE EFFEC. TIVE IN DOING 30
OPTIONAL SUPPLEMENTARY PROGRAM

STUDY OF T~D ADDITIONAL DESIGh' PARAMETERS /IIAI' PROVIDE IMPORTANT CRITERIA FOR DE. SIGNING HIGHLY RADIATION. RESISTANT TRANSISTORS
Section 4 PR OGR AM MANACEMENT
PROJECT ORGANIZATIONAND SCHEDULE OF TASKS

THE PROJECT ORGANIZATION ~ I L L CARRY OUT THE PROPOSED PROGRAM ON A REALISTIC SCHEDULE, r l T H DIRECT CONTROL B~' BOTH NASA AND HUGHES ENSURING THE SUCCESSFUL ON.TIME COMPLETION OF THE PROGRAM
PROJECT PERSONNEL
PERSONNEL FOR THE NASA TRANSISTOR DESIGN RADIA T/ON EFFECTS PROJECT POSSESS THE NECES. SARY BACKGROUNDS IN RADIATION EFEECT.T AND TRANSISTOR DESIGN AND ~IANUFACTURE TO I~NSUR THE SUCCESS OF THE PROPOSED PROGRAM
Section 5
RELATED PR OCR AMS
I DIRECTLYAPPLICABLE HUGHESRADIATIONEFFECTS STUDY

HUGHES HAS OBTAINED A SEVEN.FOLD IMPROVEMENT IN THE TRANSIENT RADIATION RESPONSE OF ~N705 TRANSISTORS OVER STANDARD UNITS BY SPECIAL MANUFACTURING TECHNIQUES
ADDITIONAL RADIATION EFFECTS PROGRAMS

HL'(,ItE~' RR(~A[) PROCRAAI OF RADIATION EFFECTS ST'('l;Ik.~ OVER TIlE PAS7 5EVI.,V YEARS t l . ~ FNABIFII ?'tE I)EI'ELOPMENT OF SPFCIAL TECtINIQ{*E~ FfJR COND/ICTINC, TIlE PROPOSED PRO (;RAM .~NI~ pRIt|'IDES A I)ETAILED k'N'O~'LEDGE OF R.41)IATION EFFECTS NOT ORTAIA'ABL~ BY ANY OTblFR MFANS
Section 6
FACILITIES AND
CAPABILITrES
ADVANTAGES OF HUGHES' COMBINATIONOF RADIATIONEFFECTS AND SEMICONDUCTORCAPABILITIES

HUGHES' CAPARILITIES AND FACILITIES IN RIITH RADI.4TION EFFECTS AND SI~MICI/NDUCTOR DESIGN AND MANUFACTURE rf'lLL PERMIT THE FREE INTERCHANGE OF DATA AND FARRICATION CONTROL ESSENTIAL FOR THE SUCCESSFUL AND ECONOMICAL ACCOMPLISHMENT OF THE PROGRAM
PRINCIPAL SOURCESOF RADIATION

THE HUGHES ELECTRON BEAM GENERATOR AND USC HILAC ARE rI'ELL SUITED FOR USE IN' THE PROPOSED PROGRAM
ADDITIONAL RADIATIONFACILITIES
HUGHES.FULLBRTON'S RADIA TION RESEARCH FACILITIES CAN PROVIDE ALL THE SUPPORT NECESSARY FOR CONDUCTING THE PROPOSED PROGRAM.
-Q
SEMICONDUCTOR DESIGN AND MANUFACTURING CABABILITY

H('CttES IS STAFFED A,','I) EQUIPPED TO HANDLE NEW DEI'ICE DESIGN AND PRODUCT/ON ENGINEER. ING FUNCTIONS ANI) HAS EXTENSIVE EXPERIENCE |rTTHTRANSISTORSSIMILAR TO THOSE REQLIIRRD /IV THE PROPOSED PRO(;RAAI
Figure
24.
Continued
41
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Subsection - Applying Thematic Quantization with STOP IIOW STOP INDUCES R E F O R M S IN FIGURE USAGE To a c h i e v e a m e s s a g e s t r u c t u r e b a s e d on t o p i c a l unity, f i g u r e content m u s t be t r e a t e d a s i n f o r m ation quanta a l o n g with the text. Thus, S T O P induces the a u t h o r to t a i l o r , i n t e r p r e t and c r e a t e g r a p h i c m a t e r i a l in s y s t e m a t i c s u p p o r t of the text body.
In the R i v e r - R a f t document, f i g u r e s a r e thought of a s s e p a r a t e e n t i t i e s from the text: c h a r t s , d i a g r a m s , s c h e m a t i c s , and so forth, which is to say, o v e r s i z e " e x h i b i t s " that c a n ' t be p r o d u c e d on the t y p e w r i t e r . T h e s e e x h i b i t s a r e then a t t a c h e d f o r r e f e r e n c e . Since t h e r e is no t h e m a t i c s e l e c t i o n c r i t e r i a , any n u m b e r of f i g u r e s m a y be a m a s s e d f o r a given p a s s a g e o r f o r a given Juncture b e t w e e n p a s s a g e s . The r e a d e r ' s p r o b l e m is to find the f i g u r e s when he c o m e s a c r o s s the text r e f e r e n c e , o r find the t e x t r e f e r e n c e when he c o m e s a c r o s s the f i g u r e . Often he m u s t g u e s s why they w e r e s e l e c t e d and f i g u r e out what they mean, a s t h e r e is no convention o t h e r than c o m m a n d m e n t s of c o u r t e s y to r e g u l a t e d e g r e e of c o r r e s p o n d e n c e between text m e s s a g e and f i g u r e content. The "data submittal" concept of figure usage is reinforced by the production operations of the publications service areas. Art work is called for early, edited (or as likely not) in graphic terms, prepared separately, and bought off independently from the manuscript. Figures are therefore divorced from the story in everyone's minds, and remain so until they surprisingly appear in the printed book. In the S T O P method, on the o t h e r hand, the a u t h o r m u s t c o n s t r u c t s p a c e - l i m i t e d m e s s a g e m o d u l e s that have unity of m e s s a g e . W h e t h e r the m e s s a g e e l e m e n t s a r e d i a g r a m m a t i c o r l i n g u i s t i c is s e c o n d a r y , so long a s they c o n t r i b u t e to the s t o r y and e l u c i d a t e it. D e a l i n g in this m e s s a g e p h i l o s o p h y m e a n s that that a u t h o r will be e n c o u r a g e d to: S e l e c t and t a i l o r the d i a g r a m s to m e e t t o p i c a l and s p a c e c o n s t r a i n t s r a t h e r than d r a f t i n g - r o o m conventions. E x p l a i n and i n t e r p r e t the c h a r t s and d i a g r a m s to m o r e fully exploit them as ing r e d i e n t s of p a r t i c u l a r m e s s a g e s . Use l i n g u i s t i c d i s p l a y s a s f i g u r e s to help " v i s u a l i z e " the t o p i c a l points (e. g . , key w o r d l i s t s , s i m p l e s u m m a r y t a b l e s , etc) when d i a g r a m m a t i c p r o d u c t s a r e not involved, thus c a p i t a l i z i n g on the p r e s e n t a t i o n a l c h a r a c t e r of the m o d u l a r f o r m a t . As a goal, b a l a n c i n g of t e x t and a r t within the m e s s a g e unit is v a l i d b e c a u s e , gene r a l l y , t e x t length v a r i e s p r o p o r t i o n a l l y with f i g u r e density, but t h e r e a r e e x c e p t i o n s . Equations a n d l i s t s occupy m o r e s p a c e than s e n t e n c e s . In r e p o r t s and p r o p o s a l s , t h e r e is u s u a l l y l e s s of s i g n i f i c a n c e to be s a i d about c o m p l e t e s c h e m a t i c s than t h e r e is about s i m p l i f i e d s c h e m a t i c s showing d e s i g n a p p r o a c h only. While a consistency in graphical balance is unnecessary, the gross thematic imbalances which abuse message unity ought be avoided on grounds of preserving coherence. Common thematic imbalances of text and art which are brought to light by toplcizing are shown in Fig. 26. The STOP technique draws attention to these problems and suggests the best cure: that the figure content be tailored for topical unity along with the text as a prerequisite to its inclusion in the message.
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52092- 33
PROBLEM
CAUSE
CURE
FIGURE TOO COMPLICATED FOR TOPIC UNITY TOO MUCH TEXT BREAK FIGURE INTO 2 OR 3 TOPICS
NONCOMMITTAL ATTITUDE TOWARD FIGURE NO TEXT
CREATE A MESSAGE WITH TEXT
INADEQUATE DISCUSSION, OR MESSAGE STUFFING TOO MUCH ART
EXPAND TO MORE TOPICS
SUBORDINATE BY FIGURE REVISION OR ELIMINATION NONPRESENTATIONAL ATTITUDE {FAILURE TO CAPITALIZE ON GRAPHICS FOR SUCCINCTNESS)
NO ART
CREATE KEY WORD LIST, TABULAR SUMMARY. CONCEPTUAL DIAGRAM, ETC
NONCHALANCE TOWARD MESSAGE STRUCTURE "A LOT OF REQUIRED FORMS OR DATA SHEETS" PUT IN APPENDIX TO PRESERVE TOPICAL COHERENCE IN BODY
Figure 26.
Toptclztng to STOP principles brings to light salutary problems of balancing text and art. The author is encouraged toward construction of message units rather than the periodic attachment of official drawings
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I I
Summary of STOP Benefits IN-HOUSE ADVANTAGES OF STOP METHODOLOGY STOP m a k e s publications e a s i e r to do and i m p r o v e s their quality. It also utilizes human r e s o u r c e s b e t t e r b e c a u s e it c a s t s c o n t r i b u t o r s in c o o p e r a t i n g r o l e s .
The STOP methodology o f f e r s three i n - h o u s e advantages: 1. E a s i e r p r p j e c t control 2. I m p r o v e d editorial c a l i b e r as a design f e a t u r e . 3. H a r m o n i z a t i o n of differing p r o j e c t skills. I m p r o v e m e n t in p r o j e c t control via S t o r y b o a r d i n g has b e e n d e s c r i b e d previously: it m o v e s the " p u l l - i t - t o g e t h e r " s t r u g g l e up f r o n t w h e r e t h e r e is t i m e to contend with it. The editorial design f e a t u r e s conducive to b e t t e r books a r e listed in F i g u r e 27. T h e s e f a c t o r s help s u p e r v i s i o n police r e a d a b i l i t y without r e c o u r s e to l i t e r a r y or " s t y l e " debates. STOP enhances c o o p e r a t i o n between the r e p o r t / p r o p o s a l m a n a g e r , the contributing engineer, and the technical editor b e c a u s e the r o l e of each is differentiated and the unique contributions m a x i m i z e d . The m a j o r r o l e of the m a n a g e r is to d i r e c t the c o n s t r u c t i o n of the book contents so that it r e p r e s e n t s the unified effort of one mind. STOP enables him to v i s u a l i z e the d e s i r e d r e s u l t at the beginning and a f f o r d s him an objective m e a n s of making editorial i n s t r u c t i o n s to i n s u r e it, i . e . , he can influence content without colliding with the e n g i n e e r ' s p r i d e of authorship so much. He can put h i m s e l f in the shoes of both the author and r e a d e r at any time, and since he is using the " c o o k i e - c u t t e r " r a t h e r than the " g r a b - b a g " technique, can change the a p p r o a c h without wholesale r e j e c t i o n of w r i t t e n d r a f t s . The contributing e n g i n e e r needs both the f r e e d o m to c r e a t e theme bodies and the discipline which r e s p e c t s the r e a d e r ' s b a s i c needs; this is well s e r v e d by the " b l a c k - b o x " concept of the modules. He is given c l e a r e r i n s t r u c t i o n s but at the s a m e time is l e s s dependent upon them. He will p r e s e n t his ideas b e t t e r and in t h e s i s - s e a r c h i n g , will get b e t t e r ideas to p r e s e n t . E f f o r t will not be wasted on writing up the w r o n g things. The technical w r i t e r / e d i t o r is given the opportunity to apply his l i t e r a r y - p r e s e n t a tional skills to the hilt. Much is to be done in c r i t i q u i n g Storyboards, policing T h e m a t i c Unity, i m p r o v i n g topic titles, c r e a t i n g t h e s i s s e n t e n c e s , c o n v e r t i n g R i v e r Raft m a t e r i a l , and finding b e t t e r ways to i l l u s t r a t e the m e s s a g e modules. The editor can go at the t h e m e bodies with a c o m p e l l i n g s e n s e of p u r p o s e and challenge, since he gets involved with much m o r e than c o m m a - p o l i s h i n g and the shuffling of headings, and his contributions to higher editorial c a l i b e r b e c o m e s a p p a r e n t to even the m o s t skeptical e n g i n e e r i n g staff. Likewise, the Publications service community, including the typists, technical artists and printers, can feel assured that their contributions (and occasional heroics) are most meaningful in terms of lifting actual reader comprehension of the end product, not just for aesthetics o~: customary practice grown out of mechanical convenience. There is an immense satisfaction in doing a job right when everyone is certain that the right thing is being done.
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ORDINARY GOOD WRITING P R A C T I C E REQUIRES: C o m m u n i c a t i o n by s u c c i n c t i s s u e s , not rambling discussions. O r g a n i z i n g to a definite t h e s i s r a t h e r than to vague c a t e g o r i e s . Not to d r i f t f r o m one topic into a n o t h e r without warning. A c c u r a t e ("honest") s t e e r i n g of the r e a d e r through the body and into the t o p i c s . C l e a r identification of the p r e s e n t point of d i s c u s s i o n . Unified and c o m p l e t e t r e a t m e n t of each main point. Logical continuity. STOP PROVIDES A t h e m e l e v e l to deal with main points as t h e m a t i c units. E a r l y and e x p l i c i t y d e c l a r a t i o n of t h e s i s a s a s e n t e n c e on the S t o r y b o a r d s . Topic t i t l e s a s m a n d a t o r y headings; s y s t e m a t i c use of topical f o r m a t . R e c o g n i t i o n of topic t i t l e s as having a diff e r e n t p u r p o s e than c a t e g o r i c a l headings. T h e s i s s e n t e n c e s a s the a b s t r a c t of the t h e m e body. F r a m e of r e f e r e n c e to expose any t h e m a tic disunity. Spotlight on d i s c o n t i n u i t i e s within the t h e m e s ; d i s t i n c t i o n between continuity and t r a n s i s t i o n to avoid confusingthe two. S t a n d a r d unit of e m p h a s i s a s o b j e c t i v e m e a s u r e of r e l a t i v e i m p o r t a n c e . Topic t i t l e s , t h e s i s s e n t e n c e s , obvious topic b o u n d a r i e s , f i g - t e x t r e l a t e d n e s s . Sequence of " b i t e - s i z e " t h e m e s .
V a r i a b l e e m p h a s i s to show r e l a t i v e i m portance. Provisions for skimming, browsing, retrospective reading. S t e p - b y - s t e p e x p o s i t i o n and l e a r n i n g .
F i g u r e 27. T h e s e t h e m a t i c d e s i g n f a c t o r s a r e built in. Coupled with b e t t e r p r o j e c t control and c l a r i f i e d r o l e s of c o n t r i b u t o r s , they make STOP a good choice when communicating to the c u s t o m e r is " i m p e r a t i v e " but s t i l l not worth the internal s t r u g g l e s to a c h i e v e it.
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52 S u m m a r y of STOP Benefits ADVANTAGES TO THE READER
Since r e a d i n g is studying, the r e a d e r b a s i c a l l y s h a r e s the needs of the student. The student c h a r a c t e r i s t i c a l l y l e a r n s step by step, and s e e s each p r o p o s i t i o n before its proof. Only when his l e a r n i n g needs a r e s a t i s f i e d will the r e a d e r b e c o m e confident that following the r u l e s of the " l e s son p l a n " will r e s u l t in c o m p r e h e n s i o n . The c o n t e m p o r a r y r e p o r t / p r o p o s a l r e a d e r is the one p e r s o n who has g r e a t e r p r e s s u r e s applied to him than the r e p o r t / p r o p o s a l w r i t e r . He m u s t a s s i m i l a t e and make d e c i s i o n s f r o m a p r o d i g i o u s a m o u n t of i n f o r m a t i o n , so he is in a t r e m e n d o u s h u r r y a s well as in a c o n s t a n t s t a t e of anxiety over r e a c h i n g the w r o n g c o n c l u s i o n s . The t i m e will n e v e r come when he c a n r e l a x and a p p r e c i a t e the n i c e t i e s of a wise a u t h o r ' s subtle outline or polished r h e t o r i c , l e a s t of all his g r a m m a t i c a l style of expression. The " t e c h n i c a l " r e a d e r has t h r e e f i r s t - o r d e r needs: 1. What is the p o i n t ? - Until the r e a d e r knows what is b e i n g d r i v e n at, he c a n t a k e little i n t e r e s t in what the a u t h o r is d r i v i n g through. The idea of " c o n c l u s i o n s , " i . e . the p r a c t i c e of p l a c i n g them a l w a y s s o m e w h e r e down s t r e a m , is a c o n s e quence " the " m e t h o d o l o g i c a l f a l l a c y " (that d i s c o u r s e should t r a c e the conduct of the r e s e a r c h ) . It is r e p l a c e d in STOP by the concept of " i n s t a n t a n e o u s heading. " 2. What is the p l a c e ? - The r e a d e r is not a m a c h i n e that cuts evenly with one pass; ne o p e r a t e s as l t e r a t i v e l y a s the author. Natural r e a d e r "hunt" needs m o m e n tary r e m i n d i n g of w h e r e the p r e s e n t d i s c u s s i o n fits into the whole s c h e m e of things ("what c a t e g o r y a m I i n ? " ) , as well a s what points of equal s t a t u s come i m m e d i a t e l y b e f o r e and after. While the i n t e r m i n a b l e s u b o r d i n a t i o n of the c a t e g o r i c a l outline and the R i v e r - R a f t " p a g e - f l i p p i n g " f o r m a t defeat this s e a r c h , o r i e n t a t i o n headings and t h e m e l e v e l s a r e c o n s t a n t l y r e i t e r a t e d by STOP. 3. One Bite at a T i m e - T h e m a t i c m o d u l a r i t y r e s p e c t s the finite l i m i t s of the r e a d e r ' s a t t e n t i o n span. Spoon f e e d i n g lets the r e a d e r take in and digest with ease, or j u s t s a m p l e and move on with g r e a t e r e a s e . He can p r o c e e d as fast and s e l e c t i v e l y as his own c i r c u m s t a n c e s w a r r a n t , without f e a r of m i s s i n g out on a c r i t i c a l i s s u e . Or, he c a n build up his c o m p r e h e n s i o n in stages, f o c u s i n g g r e a t a m o u n t s of c o n c e n t r a t i o n on each s e l f - c o n t a i n e d topic in turn. (Readers have c o m m e n t e d on the r e l i e f of l e t t i n g the r e s t of the book lie while they take in one topic in d e p t h . . A u t h o r s have made the s a m e point about the advantage of c o n c e n t r a t i n g e x c l u s i v e l y on one topic.) F r o m v a r i o u s c o m m e n t and o b s e r v a t i o n , it can be s u r m i s e d that when the r e a d e r f e e l s his b a s i c needs a r e b e i n g r e s p e c t e d and that s o m e r u l e s a r e on his side for a change, a t r a n s f o r m a t i o n o c c u r s in his attitude: C o n f i d e n c e - He f e e l s able to u n d e r s t a n d and follow. He l o s e s his t r a d i t i o n a l f e a r of the "snow job, " is l e s s d e f e n s i v e about his t e c h n i c a l q u a l i f i c a t i o n s . I n t e r e s t - His i n t e r e s t shoots up when he r e a l i z e s he is b e i n g offered s o m e t h i n g to shoot down, in the u n d i s g u i s e d t h e s i s . The tedium of w e a s l e - w o r d i n g and hedging is l e s s in evidence, b e i n g l e s s p e r m i s s i b l e . P a r t i c i p a t i o n - F a u l t - f i n d i n g l e a d s to t r u t h - f i n d i n g . When the r e a d e r is able to take the a u t h o r to task ( F i g u r e 28) for obvious goofs in t h e m a t i c unity or logic, made m o r e a p p a r e n t by the m o d u l a r r u l e s of the road, he b e c o m e s m o r e s y m p a thetic d e s p i t e h i m s e l f . He b e c o m e s m o r e w i l l i n g to take the t r o u b l e of c o m p a r i n g the a u t h o r ' s c o n c l u s i o n s with his own e x p e r i e n c e , which is the e s s e n c e of r e c e p tive c o m m u n i c a t i o n , even ff for the p u r p o s e of r e b u t t a l .
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52092 READER PARTICIPATION
Figure 28. Tremendous relief at b il a t e r a l " r u l e s of the road" brings a surge of learning confidence, followed by a critical awakening. More active and systematic participation means better communication, i n cr eased r esp ect for the author.
4.7
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Summary of STOP Benefits ADVANTAGES TO THE EVALUATOR P r o g r a m s cannot be evaluated through documents of o b s c u r e e x p e r t i s e . The e v a l u a t o r ' s method is to break the contents down into logical, c o m p a r a b l e elements. Topical s t r u c t u r e helps by s t r e s s i n g d i s c r e t e n e s s of argument elements.
It goes without saying that the r e a d e r is often a p r o g r a m evaluator or a d m i n i s t r a t o r whose d e c i s i o n s will affect the c o u r s e of future business with the authors. The e v a l u a t o r ' s p r o b l e m is to s e p a r a t e the factors of e d i t o r i a l c a l i b e r from those of technical appr6ach and competence. Unless the e d i t o r i a l c a l i b e r is sufficiently high to "include itself out" as a d e t e r m i n a n t , the evaluator will be in trouble s e lecting between competing documents. The special need of the r e a d e r / e v a l u a t o r is to analyze and make judgements. To do this he must f i r s t be able to recognize i s s u e s for c o m p a r i n g and ranking (as in F i g u r e 29), both individually and in v a r i o u s combinations. D i s m a y over R i v e r Raft o b s t a c l e s to analysis has led to the d i c t a t o r i a l R F P , which s p e l l s out the contending c l a s s i f i c a t i o n s . But i t e m i z a t i o n s don't convey a r e s p o n s e , so the author must still work at organizing to facilitate analysis and influence c o m p a r i s o n s in his favor. The modular organization has a standard level of r e t r i e v a b i l i t y which is highly useful in this r e g a r d - e s p e c i a l l y to the proposed evaluator. One thing it does is to make the a u t h o r ' s intended e m p h a s i s r e l a t i v e l y c l e a r . If the subject a r e a has w a r r a n t e d a s e r i e s of worked-out themes, it must be as important as it is long. E x c e s s e s of boring detail c a n ' t be shrugged off with the excuse that i t ' s a "complicated s y s t e m . " (One evaluator said the r e a s o n he liked STOP was because of his feeling that the authors couldn't pad and p l a g i a r i z e so much without any intention of standing behind it.) Thesis sentences make intention c l e a r e r by serving as a "double check" on what the c o n t r a c t o r is committing h i m s e l f to in the theme body; there is l e s s i n t e r p r e t a t i o n and guesswork involved for the evaluator. P r o p o s a l e v a l u a t o r s have been enthusiatic over STOP. The big r e a s o n is the i m proved c o h e r e n c e and pertinence, since m e r e comprehension is a problem in large p r o p o s a l s , b u t t h a t ' s not the whole story. The enumerating, sequencing and individuating p r o p e r t i e s of Thematic Quantization facilitate the d i s c r e t e , "digital" nature of a n a l y s i s and judging. (Many agencies use numerical scoring s y s t e m s which d e r i v e a concensus by s t a t i s t i c a l means. ) Topic uniqueness helps, e s p e c i a l l y when the author has combined subject d e t a i l s differently than the RFP. Also, the a d m i n i s t r a t o r must justify his d e c i s i o n s to his chain of command, and STOP's f e a t u r e s help this to be done methodically and objectively. He can work up a c a s e for his position with "potntable" i s s u e s , at the t h e s i s sentence level, does not have to be so much of a t r a n s l a t o r .
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52092
II
READING NEEDS OF E V A L U A T O R
ANALYZE
COMPARE
SCORE
JUDGE
Figure 29. Evaluators a r e i m p r e s s e d most when " a u r a of finesse" is created by simplicity of understanding. Quantum features of STOP s e r v e the intellectual needs of analysis and are compatible with n u m e r i c a l scoring procedures. L i t e r a r y skill and b r o c h u r e manship intrude l e s s .
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APPENDIX
SECOND
THOUGHTS
ABOUT
STOP
.......................... ...........................
A-0 A-2 A-4 A-6 A-8 A-10 A-12
THE QUESTION THE QUESTION OBJECTIONS
OF CONTINUITY OF RELATIVE
IMPORTANCE
...................
TO STOP
..................................
R E C E P T I O N O F S T O P BY G O V E R N M E N T A N D M I L I T A R Y A G E N C I E S . THE SOURCE OF THE THESIS S E N T E N C E . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE S W A P P E D ROLES OF THE R E A D E R AND A U T H O R . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Appendix
SECOND THOUGHTS ABOUT STOP A n s w e r s a r e offered for the m i s c o n c e p t i o n s that STOP is m e r e l y an "optional a p p r o a c h " , l a c k s " o r g a n i z i n g " f l e x i b i l i t y , o r is s u i t e d only to equipment d e s c r i p t i o n s .
Misconception: "STOP is j u s t a n o t h e r way to go. T h e r e a r e many equally good ways to o r g a n i z e a document. " Answer: T h e r e is r e a l l y one good way to o r g a n i z e a given d i s c o u r s e : c o h e r e n t l y . It is t r u e that slant, s t o r y line, s u b j e c t c o v e r a g e , e t c . , may differ a c c o r d i n g to s t r a t e g y , but r e g a r d l e s s of content s e l e c t i o n , t h e m e s t r u c t u r e m u s t be u n d e r s t a n d a b l e to the r e a d e r in all c a s e s . Achieving c o h e r e n t theme s t r u c t u r e , or content p r e s e n t a t i o n , is the p u r p o s e of the c o m m u n i c a t i o n p r o c e s s c a l l e d organizing. The c o n s c i e n t i o u s and s k i l l e d a u t h o r working alone can a c h i e v e c o h e r e n c e by following a c a t e g o r i c a l outline b o l s t e r e d by his intuitive t h e s e s (the r e s u l t i n g copy will be innately topical and s u b j e c t to the 500-word p a t t e r n ) , but the team of uns k i l l e d w r i t e r s t r y i n g to c o o p e r a t e u n d e r p r e s s u r e a p p a r e n t l y cannot. F u r t h e r m o r e , the m o r e the lone a u t h o r i g n o r e s o r h i d e s his i n e v i t a b l e topicality, through a s y s t e m of n o n i n f o r m a t i v e h e a d i n g s o r through f o r m a t d i s p e r s i o n , the m o r e the r e a d e r m u s t s t r u g g l e to follow, so it would s e e m b e t t e r that even a sound (topical) d i s c o u r s e in R i v e r - R a f t f o r m a t be c o n v e r t e d to m o d u l a r f o r m a t , when c o n s i d e r e d f r o m the r e a d e r ' s point of view. Misconception : " I t ' s h a r d to o r g a n i z e a STOP publication. "
A n s w e r : The p r o c e s s of deciding upon the t o p i c a l points and t h e i r sequence, finding the t h e s i s for each topic, and v i s u a l i z i n g the t h e m e t r e a t m e n t is a d m i t t e d l y an i n t e l l e c t u a l c h o r e , but it should not be s h i r k e d by adopting a c a t e g o r i c a l a p p r o a c h . T o p i c i z i n g s i m p l y m e a n s d e c i d i n g what you want to say (as exactly as you can) and finding an o b j e c t i v e p r e s e n t a t i o n of it. This is the e s s e n c e of organizing, and it is hoped that STOP j u s t i f i a b l y o b l i g e s the a u t h o r to f a c e up to it in a r e s p o n s i b l e and systematic manner. Some a u t h o r s feel c r a m p e d if they d o n ' t have an u n l i m i t e d n u m b e r of indentations to p l a y with in c a t e g o r i z i n g t h e i r m a t e r i a l , but s i m p l i c i t y of outline is an o v e r r u l ing a d v a n t a g e to the r e a d e r . F o u r l e v e l s of h e a d i n g s a r e adequate to s t r u c t u r e the m o s t involved e x p o s i t o r y d i s c o u r s e . They a r e : Section, Subsection, Topic, and Subhead within the topic (see F i g u r e A - l ) . Only the l a t t e r shows subordination (thematic dependence) s i n c e Sections and S u b s e c t i o n s a r e m e r e c l a s s i f y i n g d e v i c e s . E x p e r i e n c e shows that two l e v e l s of c l a s s i f i c a t i o n will handle r e p o r t s and p r o p o s a l s nicely, p r o v i d e d that the S u b s e c t i o n l e v e l is p r o p e r l y w o r k e d to make technical d i s t i n c t i o n s r a t h e r than e d i t o r i a l d i v i s i o n s , the topic h e a d i n g s a r e used when n e c e s s a r y to show m i n o r c l a s s m e m b e r s h i p s by the d e v i c e of p a r a l l e l i s m , and Volumes o r P a r t s a r e e m p l o y e d to show l a r g e r book d i v i s i o n s when such is r e q u i r e d . However, note that the t o p i c a l o r g a n i z a t i o n s e t s up a definite and fixed h i e r a r c h y a r o u n d the a b s o l u t e topic l e v e l . Unlike the c a t e g o r i c a l outline, it m u s t grow from the bottom up; hence, a d d i t i o n a l l e v e l s cannot be i n s e r t e d at will, and the r o l e s of the h e a d i n g s cannot be i n t e r c h a n g e d at will. It should be s e l f - e v i d e n t that this cons t r a i n t is s a l u t a r y ; it r e s u l t s in m o r e " r e s p o n s i b l e " outlines in that they b e t t e r r e f l e c t the t r u e content of the m a t e r i a l . Misconception: "STOP may be a p p r o p r i a t e f o r equipment d e s c r i p t i o n s , but is not suited to a b s t r a c t o r t h e o r e t i c a l d i s c u s s i o n s .
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Answer: F u n c t i o n a l divisions in equipment a r e u s u a l l y reflected in the outline of w r i t t e n d e s c r i p t i o n s of the equipment, so it s e e m s logical to think of STOP as well suited to equipment subjects. The p r i n c i p l e of T h e m a t i c Quantization, however, is independent of functional subject divisions. T h e m a t i c Quantization is just the grouping of ideas, of any intent, and is applicable to all types of m a t e r i a l so long as it is t h e m a t i c in nature, i . e . , c o n s i s t s s u b s t a n t i a l l y of s e n t e n c e s and paragraphs, and is expository (committed to explaining things logically) - in other words, so long as it is not a m e r e l i s t of equations, a l i s t of s h o r t "definition" e n t r i e s as in a specification, or a fictional n a r r a t i v e like a novel. Two y e a r s of experience on 120 STOP r e p o r t s and proposals is substantial proof of this. Management plans, study p r o posals, t h e o r e t i c a l a n a l y s e s , math w r i t e - u p s , have all been successfully and routinely modularized, as well as the s y s t e m and equipment d e s c r i p t i o n s . In p a r t i c u l a r , there is a d i s t i n c t advantage in m o d u l a r i z i n g the math type d i s c u s s i o n s (see Topic on A u d i o - V l s u a l Technique for Math W r i t e - U p s ) . Misconception: "We have a p a g e - l i m i t e d book and c a n ' t afford the blank space. " Answer: On the c o n t r a r y , the p a g e - l i m i t e d R F P can capitalize on STOP to impose e a r l y control over compliance to the request, r e l a t i v e emphasis, redundancies, and e x c e s s e s of tangential detail. When R i v e r - R a f t is elected for the dictatorial RFP, the l a s t - h o u r chopping phase is agonizing b e c a u s e the good is thrown out with the bad. Besides, all f o r m a t s have about 12% blank space, including STOP which r e c a p t u r e s lost space by s t a r t i n g on left-hand pages and b a c k i n g : u p foldouts.
52092.2 9
1.
Section Subsection
II Design Concepts B. Height Data Processing. 1. PROPOSED METHOD FOR ALTITUDE COMPUTATION. (C) Implementation by S. P. Computer
2.
3. Topic 4. Subhead
Figure A-i.
F o u r levels of headings provide an adequate range and flexibility in outlining. Five o r m o r e levels r i s k exceeding the a v e r a g e r e a d e r ' s retention and span of c o m p a r i s o n , hence b l u r p e r s p e c t i v e .
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Appendix THE QUESTION OF CONTINUITY STOP writing does not have to be choppy because it is modular. The distinction between continuity and transition, fostered by topical outlining, encourages the author to pay closer attention to the need for connective tissue within the topic where it m a t t e r s most. The sequence of themes c r e a t e s an episodic effect s i m i l a r to lessons in a textbook. Most expository writing has this episodic (or topical) quality, because it is intended to instruct by logical analysis. This will not create a choppy or disjointed effect, however, ff the author is careful to provide the n e c e s s a r y continuity and transition. The reader has a sense of continuity when he has visibility of and can follow a logical train of reasoning. Strong continuity is important to achieving coherence. Standard techniques are available to secure continuity in paragraph organizing and sentence linking within a given theme (e. g., repetition of key words). They are effectively employed in STOP write-ups because they are guided by the rules of Thematic Unity, which is a procedural improvement over the River-Raft approach. Engineers often fail to achieve good continuity because they have to imply so much technically, but material treated modularly is more apt to be developed with continuity of theme, internal to the topics, because the given span of argument to be bridged is more obvious at any given moment. On the other hand, moving from one topic to another is a m a t t e r of transition, not continuity (see Figure A-2), and the standard techniques are again applicable in STOP. It can be shown in R i v e r - R a f t copy that the engineer leans on assumed technical reasoning to imply topical transitions, but with no more impunity than for implied continuity. Due warning when transition is to be made from one point to another is as crucial as smoothness of development within the point. Lack of such warning, or mistaking a transitional device for a continuity device, is a major cause of r e a d e r confusion in the R i v e r - R a f t f o r m - the "test for extraneity" can be made only by a second reading. The traditional solution, a periodic infusion of purely editorial steering ("being told y o u ' r e going to be told, " etc. ) is subject to variations in skills of both the author and reader. As demonstrated by his conventional writing habits, the engineerauthor p r e f e r s to achieve logical flow between topics by methodological implications (e. g., beam steering is naturally discussed after beam formation, etc). STOP strikes a happy medium by not requiring trivial verbalizations of transition, a c c o m modating it ff desired, but clearly warning the r e a d e r in any case by the device of uniform boundaries. Also, ordering of topics for a good sense of technical inevitability is attended to with m o r e diligence because theme sequencing is a distinct o r ganizing decision. It is interesting to observe that the relatively recent rise of internal text headings in modern technical literature has been an attempt to cope with the problems of continuity-versus-transition in the complex industrial document, though it seems that confusion over interminable subordination, or absence of absolute topic level, has largely defeated it.
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52092.30
,~_.i~ =[ToP'c lJ'

TRANSITION
"~
TOPIC
CONTINUITY, '
1
continuity and/or (7) trtmsition or neither
Figure A-2.
Continuity and t r a n s i t i o n a r e f u n c t i o n s which u s e s i m i l a r e d i t o r i a l devices, but s e r v e d i f f e r e n t p u r p o s e s . A s t r o n g topical s t r u c t u r e is needed to avoid confusing the two, a p r i m e cause of i n c o h e r e n c e b e c a u s e both a r e f r e q u e n t l y implied.
*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol23, No. 3
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Appendix THE QUESTION OF RELATIVE IMPORTANCE STOP gives the f i r s t i m p r e s s i o n that all subjects are treated as equally important. In practice, the uniform topic boundary accomplishes just the opposite, by establishing a unit of measure for thematic emphasis. Differences in thematic importance a r i s e from various intrinsic reasons (e. g., the inherent significance of system design as compared to circuit design), b u t a l s o f r o m extrinsic reasons such as the author's slant or set of values which c h a r a c t e r i z e his approach. The reader must be able to see at once what relative importance the author attributes to different subject areas, and two principles can be observed to a s s i s t him in this. First, an unlimited range of shadings in emphasis is worse than a simpler system of contrasts, because subtleties become t i r e s o m e and confusing to the harried reader. Second, a standard, or scale of measurement, is useful, to indicate relative degrees of value. The message module of uniform dimensions establishes something not available before: the concept of "unit emphasis. " This t h e m e - s t r u c t u r i n g device offers a means of objectively clarifying the author's intended emphasis (importance attributing); thus, far from ignoring differential emphasizing, STOP offers a way to place emphasis unambiguously. The emphasizing options available to the STOP author are: Elect the discussion to topic status. Elect the discussion to multiple topic status. Subordinate it to within a topic. These options are discernable to the reader almost immediately and are less dependent upon reading skill than interpretive comment by the author, rhetorical devices, or River-Raft structural devices. The difficulty with R i v e r - R a f t techniques of emphasizing structurally (such as length of passage, subordinating by heading indentation, positioning, underlining, etc. ) is that they tend to be inconsistent and ambiguous, and they do not actually affect what is said in the write-ups. The length c r i t e r i a is particularly meaningless because there Is no standard "words/idea ratio". Further, emphasizing by i n c r e a s ing length of passage often falls prey to P a r k i n s o n ' s Law of the Trivial (general significance skimped, details lavished}, hence is commonly self-defeating. In other words, the problem with p r e s e n t methods ~f outlining is that many subject areas are not receiving adequately equal "air time" (see Figure A-3). A subject a r e a is more important when it entails different aspects which warrant additional topics. Modularity recognizes such enumeration as a more valid c r i t e r i a of importance than length of passage per se. Modularity also enforces a "functional subordination, " through the rules of Thematic Unity, in that relegating a paragraph to a subtopical level requires corresponding changes in the Thesis Sentence and continuity of the topic in question. This means that subordinating cannot be a c c o m plished by l a i s s e z - f a i r e techniques such as "playing with headings, " or by affixing an extra digit to a decimal notation. The device of "unit emphasis" is most appreciated by the reader. An author does not have to read (learn from) his own material. Indeed, since he can read his own mind, he cannot "read" his material, so he can easily fail to appreciate the r e a d e r ' s quite crucial need for such objective c r i t e r i a of theme structure.
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62
52o92.3e
WHICH PASSAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT?

A
CASE I: A OR B?
C
CASE 2: C OR D?
O1
F CASE 3: E OR F?
Figure A-3.
Answers: Case 1 is indeterminant, but A Is probably more important than B (ParkJason's Law of Triviata). In Case 2 both C and D are equally important despite differences in absolute length because author elected both to same presentational "status". D2 is subordinate to D, hence is less important than C In Case 3, the subject area treated as multipIe topics under F is more important because its g r e a t e r number of facets Is recognized in the theme structure.
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AppendLx
OBJECTIONS TO STOP
Some c o m m e n t is o f f e r e d f o r t y p i c a l objections to the STOP t e c h n i q u e
''We would not have a f i g u r e for each topic. " No f i g u r e s a r e needed to make T h e m a t i c Quantization work, s i n c e it is not a "picture s t o r y " technique. Some STOP p r o p o s a l s have been all text and no art, b e c a u s e the concepts did not lend t h e m s e l v e s to i l l u s t r a t i n g . I t ' s s t i l l a good thing to be r e m i n d e d by the f o r m a t that an i l l u s t r a t i o n ought to be c o n s i d e r e d for each m e s s a g e module. "STOP would r e s u l t in too many additional f i g u r e s being c r e a t e d . " The a v e r a g e r e p o r t and p r o p o s a l a l r e a d y contains 35 to 40 f i g u r e s p e r 100 p a g e s . The i n c r e a s e with STOP, if it does happen, is only about 10%, and it c o n s i s t s u s u a l l y of s i m p l e f i g u r e s that help g r e a t l y to get the m e s s a g e a c r o s s m o s t e f f e c t i v e l y . "It would be a n u i s a n c e fitting the f i g u r e s into the m o d u l e s . " Yes, but i t ' s a nuisance to the r e a d e r if you don't. A b a s i c r e f o r m in figure usage ( i n t e g r a t i n g them into m e s s a g e p u r p o s e s ) is needed in r e p o r t s and p r o p o s a l s ; STOP affords the m e a n s of a c h i e v i n g it with the l e a s t difficulty. ''We would end up with s h o r t t o p i c s that wouldn't fill the s p r e a d . " S t a t i s t i c s don't b e a r this out. P r a c t i c a l l y no topics a r e l e s s than 250 w o r d s , o r 1/2 page, which m a k e s an effective m e s s a g e along with i figure, table or k e y - w o r d l i s t . One r e a son for this is you find ways to combine m a t e r i a l for b e t t e r c o h e r e n c e or m o r e a p propriate emphasis. Or, you dig for m o r e s i g n i f i c a n c e to j u s t i f y the p a s s a g e standing alone. In t e r m s of a m o r e r e a d a b l e e n d - p r o d u c t , i t ' s b e n e f i c i a l to have to t r a d e off these a l t e r n a tives in y o u r planning and w r i t i n g . If the s h o r t topic is r e a l l y that s h o r t and that i m p o r t a n t , it should s t a n d alone; t h e r e ' s no b e t t e r way to show y o u r chosen e m p h a s i s . "A lot of topics would be too long to fit. " S t a t i s t i c s on y o u r n a t u r a l w r i t i n g habits, and e x p e r i e n c e with STOP indicate that this is not a p r o b l e m , b e l i e v e it or not. When the m a t e r i a l d o e s n ' t fit, chances a r e good that i t ' s a compound topic which would be b e t t e r t r e a t e d as two s e p a r a t e m o d u l e s f o r g r e a t e r r e a d i n g efficiency. The "truly v e r b o s e " topic ( t h e m a t i c a l l y unified but o v e r 1,000 words) is very r a r e ; it o c c u r s about once in 50 topics, in the 2% b r a c k e t . " I t ' s too much of a c o n s t r a i n t and r e q u i r e s p a i n s t a k i n g bother; we c a n ' t afford to add m o r e w o r r i e s on top of our t e c h n i c a l p r o b l e m s . " As a w r i t i n g guide, STOP r e q u i r e s d i s c i p l i n e and e x t r a thought, but not b e c a u s e i t ' s u n n a t u r a l to what y o u ' r e a t t e m p t i n g to do in the f i r s t p l a c e (be c o h e r e n t ) . Rather, it e s t a b l i s h e s a minimum author a c c o u n t a b i l i t y that c a n ' t be dodged f o r the wrong r e a s o n s (lack of skill, o v e r sight, indifference, etc). Of c o u r s e , one should not e l e c t STOP if it is u n i m p o r t a n t for the r e a d e r to r e c e i v e y o u r m e s s a g e in the f i r s t p l a c e . On the o t h e r hand, as a p r o g r a m - c o n t r o l l i n g tool, STOP r e p a y s y o u r e f f o r t many t i m e s over, e s p e c i a l l y in s t o r y b o a r d i n g , by e l i m i n a t i n g w a s t e d e f f o r t and a l l - n i g h t p a n i c s . " W e ' r e a f r a i d to change over; our i n e x p e r i e n c e is too much of an o b s t a c l e . " Each t o p i c i z i n g p r o b l e m " p r o g r a m s " its own cure, i . e . , the technique is s e l f - c o r r e c t i n g once you s t a r t . F u r t h e r m o r e , you always have the ' b a i l out" option ( s i m p l y closing up the modules), which can be e l e c t e d at any phase p r i o r to printing, thus it is a f a i l - s a f e p r o p o s i t i o n . The b a i l - o u t option has been r e s o r t e d to once in two y e a r s
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of doing m a j o r c r a s h proposals by STOP. "I wouldn't have a s t r o n g proposition to expound for ev er y discussion. " If true, this is too bad because you will lose r e a d e r i n t er est . But you don't actually need a b r i l liant argument e v e r y time to achieve the b asi c goal of coherence. One can just write a b r i e f s u m m a r y sentence for use as the thesis. "Printing r e q u i r e m e n t s will i n c r e a s e book costs, cause delays. " STOP books have been published with s e c r e t a r i a l help only. STOP books can be done a11-typewritsr and with hand-drawn a r t if desired. Cost is about the s a m e as for conventional books, as soon as some e x p e r i e n c e is gained. The only typography r e q u i r e m e n t is a page capacity of approximately 550 words. Conventional mulitilith methods ar e OK; bond keylines f o r ITEK m a s t e r s a r e r e c o m m e n d e d (gives reductions and easy corrections). Provisions a r e needed to integrate ar t with text, and back-up foldouts. A r t si zes should be a lot tighter to accommodate multiple figures p e r page. "Re P roduction typing will have trouble with copy-fit and a r t - f i t problems; they'll be stuck with an unproducable book at the last minute. " Not when they get going and get the hang of it. We w o r r i e d about the same thing two y e a r s ago. Copy-fit probl e m s a r e s u r p r i s i n g l y infrequent, can be easily ironed out by a tech editor, the proposal manager, o r the n e a r e s t c o m m i s e r a t i v e author. Use of a dummy, and batching of text topics for typing g r eat l y f a c i l i t a t e s production workflow and m ak e up. Changes a r e easy to handle: no "domino" effect. Look out for page numbering ( s ta r ts even, not odd).
52092.32
NOT ENOUGH FIGURES
TOPIC TOO SHORT
F,OO,,
GA,,O0
O:
",,,_
.-.-
Figure A-4.
Obvious objections to STOP show why it can't possibly work, but innate topicality of expository w r i t i n g dispells topic length p r o b l e m s , and r e f o r m s in figure usage provide self-induced layout solutions.
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Appendix THE SWAPPED ROLES OF THE READER AND AUTHOR The prevailing literary philosophy of narrative continuity has resulted in a doctrine of writing which assumes that the r e a d e r must edit the author as part of his duties of readership. STOP would shift the proof of coherence back to the author. Since the origin of literature is story telling, it is not surprising that the ideal of literary form has been handed down as narrative continuity. This is seen when people complain ttfat "it just doesn't flow," when they mean the writing lacks logical coherence. What may be forgotten is that the effect of narrative continuity is dependent upon the plot device, or some event-time assumption, to gain " c o h e r ence" through a resemblance to life itself, or some other p r o c e s s . A non-logical type of continuity is also obtained in fiction through the train of word-associations known as the "interior monologue, " regarded as the ultimate extension of the narrative form of the novel. This is illustrated by Molly Bloom's 20-page s t r e a m of-consciousness soliloquy in J a m e s J o y c e ' s Ulysses. Devoid of any logical coherence, it is as smooth and continuous as the biological life force it extolls. The appearance of text headings in the modern technical report indicates that the c r i t e r i a of narrative flow has been a failure for expository literature in the circumstances of mass authorship and h i g h - p r e s s u r e , administrative readership. However, some authorities still apologize when recommending headings~ even for the technical report, and others advise against it in general on grounds of propriety. 1 Outlines are not in danger of being abandoned, but the predilections of generations of literature-minded English teachers (not to mention nine editions of How to Read a Book) has had its effect. It has created the lore of the Divine Right of Authors or Caveat Lector ("reader beware") which is the sustaining code for categorical outlining and the other privileged practices of River Rafting. In the officiations of this lore, definitions of the p r o c e d u r a l rules of authorship are seldom attempted. The author for example is expected to b_.~clear, and exhortedqualitativelyto be so, but how to be so is part of a nebulous mystique of apprenticeship. 2 Curiously, the authorities are not so easy onthe r e a d e r and, through the definitions of the r e a d e r ' s role, one can see and fully appreciate the license granted to the authors. The r e a d e r ' s burden is codified by Dr. M o r t i m e r Adler, of Great Books note, in the following "rules for reading" (see work cited): 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Classify the book according to kind and subject matter. State the unity of the whole book, what i t ' s about, in a single sentence. Set forth the m a j o r p a r t s and show how these are related and organized into a whole. Define the problems the author is trying to solve. Come to t e r m s with the author by interpreting his basic words. Grasp the author's leading propositions by finding his important sentences. Know the author's arguments by finding them in, or constructing them out of, sequences of sentences.
1"I was so obsessed with the importance of structure that I outlined the structure of the book and published it. Naturally it was repulsive to most self-respecting readers, who thought they could do their job if I did m i n e . " Mortimer J. Adler, How to Read a Book, Simon & Schuster, 1940 (ninth edition, 1963) p. 181.
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2,,Finding the unity belongs to the reader as much as having one belongs to the w r i t e r . " Mortimer Adler, op. cit.
*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No, 3
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D e t e r m i n e which p r o b l e m s w e r e s o l v e d , which not, and w h e t h e r the author knew he failed to solve t h e m .
T h e r e is a r e m a r k a b l e s i m i l a r i t y b e t w e e n t h e s e r u l e s f o r r e a d i n g and the e d i t o r ' s r u l e s f o r " t o p i c i z i n g " ( c o n v e r t i n g a R i v e r Raft book to m o d u l a r form): 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. D i s c o v e r the t r u e topic b o u n d a r i e s , o r independent units of the d i s c o u r s e . M o c k - u p each topical p a s s a g e within the s t a n d a r d m o d u l a r f r a m e . Identify the p r o p o s i t i o n s s p e c i f i c a l l y a c c o r d i n g t o the r u l e s o f p h r a s i n g t o p i c a l titles. L o c a t e o r r e c o n s t r u c t the t h e s e s and w r i t e the t h e s i s s e n t e n c e s . I n s u r e that the k e y w o r d s of the t h e m e s a r e included in the t h e s i s s e n t e n c e s . E x a m i n e the t h e m e bodies for a d h e r e n c e to the r u l e s of T h e m a t i c Unity. F i l l holes, c o m b i n e f r a g m e n t s , and r e o r g a n i z e as n e c e s s a r y , both t o p i c a l l y and c a t e g o r i c a l l y , to a c h i e v e o p t i m u m logic of continuity and t r a n s i t i o n , and c o m p l i a n c e with p u r p o s e of document. Check f o r p e r t i n e n c e of topical a r g u m e n t s to the whole p r o p o s i t i o n of the book; sharpen or revise accordingly.
8.
The STOP S t o r y b o a r d p r o c e d u r e a l s o p r e s c r i b e s t h e s e o p e r a t i o n s , but f o r the author, d u r i n g initial planning and writing, and s y s t e m a t i c a l l y at the t h e m e level. In o t h e r w o r d s , How to Read a Book a s k s the r e a d e r to a c c o m p l l s h w h a t STOP e x p e c t s of the a u t h o r (or tech editor) in the f i r s t p l a c e . It is no s u r p r i s e when D r . A d l e r r e a c h e s this conclusion: "In g e n e r a l , t h e s e r u l e s of r e a d i n g look as if they w e r e r u l e s of w r i t i n g a l s o . Though they a r e r e c i p r o c a l , t h e y a r e not followed in the s a m e way. T h e r e a d e r t r i e s to u n c o v e r the s k e l e t o n the book c o n c e a l s . The author s t a r t s with it and t r i e s to c o v e r it up. His a i m to c o n c e a l the skeleton a r t i s t i c a l l y or, in o t h e r w o r d s , to put f l e s h on the b a r e b o n e s . If he is a good w r i t e r , he d o e s not b u r y a puny s k e l e t o n u n d e r a m a s s of f a t . " It is even l e s s of a s u r p r i s e to c o m e a c r o s s t h i s a d m o n i s h m e n t : "You m a y ask: How will I know w h e t h e r I a m r e a l l y following the r u l e s when I r e a d ? The m o s t d i r e c t sign that you h a v e done the w o r k of r e a d i n g is fatigue. " Against the s u g g e s t i o n that r e a d i n g c o m p r e h e n s i o n m u s t b e b a s e d on a fatiguing, e r r o r - i n d u c i n g s t r u g g l e to i n s u r e e f f e c t i v e c o m m u n i c a t i o n ( " . . . the lift which c o m e s f r o m m a n a g i n g to u n d e r s t a n d s o m e t h i n g which at f i r s t s e e m e d unintelligible to y o u . " - Adler), STOP r e s t s its c a s e on S k i n n e r ' s e x a m i n e d p r i n c i p l e s of p r o g r a m m e d instruction: "We m i g h t s a y that the h u m a n o r g a n i s m is r e i n f o r c e d by any s i m p l e gain in c o m p e t e n c e . When we g u a r a n t e e a c o n s i s t e n t gain by b r e a k i n g the m a t e r i a l to be l e a r n e d into s m a l l s t e p s , we r a i s e the f r e q u e n c y of r e i n f o r c e m e n t to a m a x i m u m and r e d u c e a v e r s i v e c o n s e q u e n c e s to a m i n i m u m . It is t r u e that t h o s e who l e a r n in s p i t e of a c o n f u s i n g p r e s e n t a t i o n of a subject a r e b e t t e r s t u d e n t s , but a r e they b e t t e r b e c a u s e they h a v e s u r m o u n t e d the difficulties o r do they s u r m o u n t t h e m b e c a u s e they a r e b e t t e r ? T h e r e is no evidence that what is e a s i l y l e a r n e d is e a s i l y f o r g o t t e n . ,,3
3B. F. Skinner ( P r o f e s s o r of P s y c h o l o g y , H a r v a r d ) T e a c h i n g Machines, Scientific A m e r i c a n , Nov. 1961.
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Appendix BACKGROUND AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The STOP technique was not born by invention, but through the unfolding of n u m e r o u s insights and accidental d i s c o v e r i e s by a group of people o v e r a 2 - y e a r period.
The idea of a modular t r e a t m e n t f o r organizing the full text of a technical document, and the decision to t r y it on a typical p r o p o s a l , was r e a c h e d by J i m T r a c e y and Dave Rugh at the close of a p r o p o s a l c r a s h in O c t o b e r 1962. It was t h e i r conclusion that the b r o c h u r e - l i k e , t e x t - a n d - p i c t u r e organizing method that p r e s e n t e d story e l e m e n t s in a s p r e a d - b y - s p r e a d sequence could o f f e r the s a m e r e a d e r advantage in the c a s e of the fully detailed technical exposition as it did in the c a s e of the slide and f l i p - c h a r t presentational booklet. The a s s u m p t i o n was that difficulties in writing and editing would n e c e s s a r i l y have to be o v e r c o m e to fit the detailed t e c h nical n a r r a t i v e into such a p a t t e r n . The plan was that the e x t r a work of revising and r e w r i t i n g would be shouldered by the technical editor. The significant point is that this a s s u m p t i o n was soon p r o v e d i n c o r r e c t , but at that moment it was felt (in a mood of desperation) that the existing p r o b l e m s of achieving c o m p r e h e n s i b i l i t y in the conventional production w e r e a l r e a d y so difficult, and being so poorly r e s o l v e d , that any change could only work f o r the b e t t e r , expecially if it entailed a modular end r e s u l t of p r o v e n r e a d e r benefit. F o r implanting this attitude of letting the devil take the author f o r a change, c r e d i t m u s t be given to Mike Rapport, who had p r o p e l l e d the authors into the recognition that traditional editorial elegance was incontestably beside the point when having to spoon feed hard a r g u m e n t s to soft c u s t o m e r s . The m o d u l a r technique was t h e r e f o r e adopted on two p r o p o s a l s in N o v e m b e r and D e c e m b e r of 1962: the Small Ships Data P r o c e s s o r , and the Space-Ground Link Subsystem. Both of these p r o p o s a l s lost. I m p o r t a n t d i s c o v e r i e s w e r e made, however, which justified the editorial e f f o r t s . F i r s t , it was s e e n that the topicizing operation inexorable shook out editorial defects ( m o s t m a t e r i a l was being c o n v e r t e d f r o m R i v e r Raft) as though by f o r m u l a . Second, it was o b s e r v e d that the text body was already naturally s t r u c t u r e d by topical s e g m e n t s , a c c o m o d a t i n g m o d u l a r uniformity without e x t r a work, but that the possibility was being concealed by the c a t e g o r i c a l headings. This was in J a n u a r y of 1963. By F e b r u a r y , the S t o r y b o a r d concept of outlining was accepted as an e s s e n t i a l step in planning the modular pubUcation, and its s u p e r i o r role in managing p r o p o s a l content was seen. A Storyboard f o r m was p r i n t e d up (on B - s i z e vellum), though it did not include a T h e s i s Sentence. Instead, s p a c e was provided at the bottom of the sheet to a n s w e r this question: "What conclusions do you want the r e a d e r to draw f r o m this w r i t e - u p ?" As the n u m b e r of modular p r o p o s a l s g r e w through M a r c h and April of 1963, a r e a l i z a t i o n dawned concerning t h e m a t i c unity which, looking back, s e e m s as though it should have been self evident. This odd d i s c o v e r y was voiced by Walt Starkey, who held up a topic in genuine s u r p r i s e and said "Look, e a c h of these is a s e l f contained t h e m e . " P r e v i o u s l y , module content was m o r e - o r - l e s s being "packaged" by dividing the m a t e r i a l u n i f o r m l y along the c l e a r e s t line of change in subject category (in itself a r e m a r k a b l e advantage). The new viewpoint made it c l e a r e r that thematic unity (i. e . , c o h e r e n c e of the t h e m e body) was a p r o p e r t y of self-containment, and that " c i r c l e s of c o h e r e n c e " could exist r e p e a t e d l y within a l a r g e r n a r r a t i v e , Selfsufficiency of topics as complete m e s s a g e s b e c a m e a leading goal. This occured during the edit of the f i r s t AADS-70 p r o p o s a l , the eleventh m o d u l a r document produced by the then S y s t e m s Publications Sections.
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By the end of 1963, 44 modular publications had been produced. It was felt that a decided m e a s u r e of control had been gained over the basic p a r a m e t e r s of coherence, and enough c u s t o m e r favor was filtering back to verify that the improvement existed for the r e a d e r . But one dissatisfaction p e r s i s t e d , namely a sense of low pertinence or missing significance throughout the technical " d e s c r i p t i o n s " which: make up the bulk of the average proposal. Must proposals be dull? This question led to a s e a r c h for ways to insure that the author would elect and declare a propositional intent, r a t h e r than just describe. It was then found that the traditional Thesis Sentence could be applied repeatedly to the topic elements f o r this purpose. This sentence would prompt conclusions and also double check theme contents, thus would enhance coherence as well as pertinence. It was seen that the product, so to speak, of pertinence (having a propositional thesis) and coherence (sticking to one thesis at a time) could be considered an operational definition of expository clarity. This was in November 1963, one y e a r a f t e r the basic modular technique was adopted. The f i r s t modular document employing t h e printed out Thesis Sentence was p r e pared as an experiment in December 19631 . In July 1964 three modular proposals were also so p r e p a r e d (an inexplicable delay, though there was as understandable reluctance to become committed to the "exposure and labor" of the technique). Since then, the Thesis Sentence has lost its threat, becoming a highly useful standa r d device and the identifying symbol of both the Storyboard and the topic. Thus the various modular ideas had m a t u r e d into the full STOP technique by the S u m m e r of 1964. By the end of 1964 about 120 documents of m a j o r proportions had been produced by the method. Several technicalities were also clarified that y e a r , such as the identification of the operational p a r a m e t e r s of organizing2, the essential procedural defects of the categorical outline3, and some of the s e c r e t s of Storyboard reviewing4. The Audio-Visual technique of handling math writeups (a Tracey-Rugh production) was developed in detail in November 1964 with the encouragement and examples of Ron Long. As can be seen, the development of the STOP technique was a gradual process of worry, speculation, brainstorming and fumbling experience. Members of the Writing Services Section contributed valuable assistance, particularly Dick McCormack, who provided a much needed l a y m a n ' s description of STOP, and Dave Gater, who a s s i s t e d Rugh in proselyting a generation of skeptical authors. Walt Starkey proved the efficacy of Storyboarding once and f o r all on the 6,000-page c r o s s - c u l t u r a l NADGE p r o g r a m . Jack Hunt and Dorothy Morico led the revolution in graphics that was p r e r e q u i s i t e to smooth production of STOP books. Bob P e r r y furnished the Storyboard clue, discovered P a r k i n s o n ' s Law of the Trivial, and endorsed all with an enthusiatic managerial indulgence.
1) Multilaminates for Nanosecond C i r c u i t r y , W.T. Rhoades, ID-64-33, a technical paper dated for presentation in March 1964. 2) Assuming the existence of the topic s t r u c t u r e , they are:Categorizing, Sequencing and Subordinating. 3) Showing both categorization and subordination by the device of indenting;failure to exclude categorical headings f r o m the thematic outline(text plan). 4) Seriously pretend itts the finished copy; look for the real thesis in the 4th p a r a graph (Dave Rugh).
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STOP, GO, and the State of the Art in Proposal Writing

James R. Tracey
Abstract-During the last 30 years, proposal writing has seen a succession of systems appear which have extended the historic writing technology of planning by subject outline and rough drafting for review. In 1962 the Hughes Sequential Topical Organization of Proposals (STOP) system introduced the modular format and topical storyboarding. In the 1970s Hyman Silver brought out Scenario, which emphasized requirements analysis and section storyboarding to discover proposal strategy. Also, Hudson Patton brought out his unique and successful graphics oriented (GO) technique to defeat armwaving, or inadequate substantiation of approach. In the 1980s, Shipley Associates taught us how to use action titles to improve salesmanship. All of these features and others were consolidated in the Hughes STOP and GO system (1981-1989), which provides an ideal combination of strategy, comprehensibility, credibility, and sales. STOP and GO represents the state of the art in proposal writing methodology.
proposals should be written only by certain engineers who know how to write proposals, thus reducing the proposals authority and the engineers communicating experience at the same time. Proposal managers may bravely decide it is their job to straighten things out, which is probably the wrong step because it doesnt substitute for strategic story planning and real-time group review. Group participation and consensus in the planning, writing, reviewing, and revising of the proposal is next to impossible in the traditional writing environment because the main points and structure of the argument are not visible in the outline and seldom accessible in the manuscript. Participants do not see the whole story or where they fit in. Also, review and revision is not effectively achieved in closet because there is no communication between the principals-both author and reviewer shoot in the dark. Moving manuscripts serially over a train of INTRODUCTION desks in closet reviews is an invitation to bias, shallowness, OOKING at the proposal development problem narrowly negativism, uncoordination, and broken schedules. from the viewpoint of proposal document preparation, The basic fault seems to lie in our preferred discourse proposal managers of high-tech proposals face a daunting structures. Our teachers always said that discourse was to be task. They must plan and mobilize a writing effort across controlled and made purposeful by the device of the thesis multiple disciplines and pull together a unified and effec- sentence. But engineers fail to practice this, especially in the tive story with little help from conventional writing methods group project situation. It appears too formal, or controversial (subject outlining, drafting, and desk review), which are not perhaps, or it is not clear where to state the thesis. A thesis for a only outdated in the group environment, but are ineffective chapter doesnt work; it becomes a platitude due to the expanse in developing cogent written argumentation and promotion. of argument, or reduces to a theme statement, a philosophical Ordinary written discourse, which is unconsciously thought of position. by many engineers as description and analysis of technical So in industry we produce written discourse by logically achievements, rather than argument, is practically guaranteed organizing a subject outline, and then we start banging away, to hide the real purpose of a proposal: to show that the with logical continuity as our main concern. The result often engineers understand the problem, have a good solution, and becomes an unconscious search for coherence. That we sucknow how to produce it at the right price. ceed from time to time is a testament to the cognitive power of the inductive pattern, leading up to a conclusion, stated or The Problem inferred. This must be the saviour of human reasoning, but the The conventional subject outline does not require the author burden on the reader is atrocious. One inspiring exception to this assessment is J. Raleigh to identify or organize about the real main points of his argument, or to present his story with graphic as well as Nelson, in Writing the Technical Report, 1947 [l], who aptextual means. The result is obscurity, which has been tolerated parently took note of Aristotles claim that persuasive speech because it is attributed to the technical nature of the content. is argumentation and must consist of two parts: a proposition The authors liberty of moving from a subject title into a narra- and its proof. Professor Nelson applied this idea (the thesis) to tive draft encourages neglect of the readedevaluators needs. the technical report, as an antidote to the perfunctorily analytic The resulting confusion leads management to conclude that lab reports of his day. He says a report is an appallingly important document, and interpretive comment is needed Manuscript received November 1991; revised April 1992. This article has (p. 6) to bring out the supreme importance of what you have been adapted from J. R. Traceys essay on this topic that will appear in How to Create and Sell Your Proposal to Government in Todays Tough Economy to say (p. 7). to be published by IEEE Press later this year. The first part of the problem is not that we dont know The author is at 1801 Las Lanas, Fullerton, CA 92633. how to write proposals, but that we dont know how to write IEEE Log Number 9202603.
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purposefully, strategically. The second part of the problem is that we dont know how to cooperate over a discourse. The Solution At Hughes Aircraft, Ground Systems Group publications, in 1962, we discovered that technical discourse was actually attempting to become more strategic all by itself. There existed a natural coherence unit, the passage, that was objectively marked by transitions, key words, and conclusions. This coherence unit, though unidentified in the doctrine of expository writing, obviously consisted of a propositional unit, not a subject unit, and was indeed controlled by its conclusion or inferences, and hence was controllable by the device of the thesis sentence, much like the paragraph is controlled by its topic sentence. What a stroke of luck. Either the 500 word essay of Freshman English was being taught successfully without our realizing it, or this was the reason it was being taught. Furthermore, the size of this passage displayed a reasonably narrow normal distribution around a mean of about 500 words, hence a physical rubric, the page, was available to discipline the structure and enhance the sense of unity. This concept of a thesis-driven modular format seemed to be a solution to the problem of perfunctory, descriptive, noncogent, rambling writing, and it was applicable to the report, proposal, speech, or perhaps any discourse genre aimed at persuasion. It seemed to embody perfectly Aristotles dictum, you must state your case, and then prove it. Could it be made to work? To achieve a thesisful modular format, as opposed to the usual run-on format (what we called riverraft), when in possession of a once-written manuscript was relatively easy. All the editor had to do was find the natural passages, add trial thesis sentences to clarify what the author was really driving at, and then fix all the non-sequiturs, omissions, and false turns this brought to light. It became clear that the figure that often accompanies the passage in technical discourse should always accompany it as a comprehension aid. Such a figure was usually accommodated by the facing page, resulting in a two page module. Furthermore, we saw that the purpose of the figure was to illustrate and prove the thesis, not to document the subject artifact. Demanding a figure seemed like jumping genres from discourse to briefings. Yet selection of the figure completes the thesis-theme-figure formula, which seems to be specific to comprehension, and the communication prompted by this formula transforms the author from a memo-ist to a speaker. Consequently, any missing figures, as well as missing main points, became a fault in technical writing in our shop, and an unexpected tool of critique and revision.
in the categorical domain (subject headings). Naturally, this sentence outline must be accompanied by its thesis sentence and a plan for the required figure, so a topic worksheet was born that we called a storyboard. It embodied the idea of pre-writing because it provided a standardized set of the rhetorical elements needed for communicating a topic. This device is unique in that it enables planning of what looks like the largest unit of discourse so far identified (since the section or chapter is merely a categorical collection of topics). The storyboard (see Fig. 1) provides close to one fifth the verbiage of a completed topic (six short sentences versus 20 long ones) to suggest the main argument. It is a scribble sheet that can be quickly created and revised, and is visible to a small group. Viewed on the wall in strings of six to 10, it quickly reveals whether the section will be an effective argument, compliant offer and sales document, and, if not, why not. The storyboard gives access to the passage or topic level, somewhere between the heading and the whole section, where the actual propositions reside-the ideal level for critique and revision. For this reason it has become a new tool for the group planning of technical discourse by multiple authors. In filling out the storyboard, the author is disciplined by the thesis-theme-figure formula to clearly state and prove a proposition. In reviewing it, the editor reads it aloud to the reviewing group (including neighboring authors), suggests whats good and bad about it, and invites the reviewing group to further critique and revise it, thus confirming its strategic correctness as well as its presentational effectiveness. Topical Outlining The impact of storyboarding on the practice of outlining is fundamental. It replaces the concept of the outline as a subject hierarchy, with the concept of topic strings nested within a limited subject hierarchy, thus: Section heading. Subsection heading. Topic 1 thesis title Topic 2 thesis title Topic 3 thesis title This is a hybrid logical structure that has just enough categorical control to satisfy organizational needs without intruding into the propositional domain, which is the province of the storyboard, the next step of detailed outlining. Few of the rules of logical outlining apply to this model. For example, a onetopic section is logical in this structure, being a propositional element in a class by itself. Of course the topic titles are not yet thesis sentences (though hopefully topical), but it is understood that they will become so. For example:
Section 3. PJH-PLRS Network Architecture Subsec A-Network Concepts 1-Combining Time and Freq for Max Capacity
STORYBOARDING
To plan a discourse of thematic modules, rather than a discourse of subject categories, two kinds of outlines are needed: 1) a subject outline of the whole work: and 2) a sentence outline based on a thesis for each passage (called a topic) in the work. A sentence outline is necessary because the topic is in the propositional domain, like a paragraph, not
2-Division
of Time into Epochs and Frames
3-Allocation of Resources to Control Functions
TRACEY: STOP, GO, AND STATE OF THE ART IN PROPOSAL WRITING
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PROPOSAL STORYBOARD
Fig. 1. The storyboard is a writing worksheet that helps the authors organize their stories into main discussion points or topics. The storyboard enables the planning of each topic around the thesis-theme-visual elements of a short persuasive essay (i.e., the natural passage of technical discourse). The purpose is to help the authors discover their stories, help them be more pointed and purposive (Le., encourage a problem-versus-solution slant in their arguments), and let the proposal team review the material before it is written out in a hard-to-follow and hard-to-change draft.
Since it reflects the true structure of discourse, topical outlining suggests the authors overall intentions in a surprisingly clear way. The simplicity of this discourse model makes it easy to critique and revise, particularly in evaluating ones subject scaling, the number of main points versus total size ratio that is critical for book planning but which eludes conventional outlining. The Thesis and Strategic Writing Thus thesis-based passages (topics), topical outlining, and storyboarding offer a system of group discourse development that replaces subject outlining, perfunctory composing, and closet review of rambling text linguistically frozen in paragraphs. We jokingly called this system Sequential Thematic Organization of Proposals (STOP) as a pun on the modular format, but it should have been named Strategic Writing because it infuses purpose into the authors thinking: stating intentions help one to communicate well. In practice, writing a thesis leads to a revision of the story into more strategic lines. Along the way it becomes clear that problems such as coherence, clarity, continuity, and comprehensibility are easier to perceive and correct within a thesisful, illustrated context. The thesis sentence states the main point of the topic, which
in the proposal genre is simply What do you propose and why is it good? Thus:
TWS Design of PM/FL The TWS Performance Monitoring and Fault Localization unit provides an alert system of easily understood error messages and simple test sequences, and makes rigorous use of integral BIT hardware to support maximum unit availability.
Using two sentences for the thesis is acceptable when a more complex What-and-Why statement is needed:
Design Approach or TWS Software The TWS software design provides a real-time, multitasking architecture ideally suited for the Ada environment. This flexible and straightforward approach permits delivery of single-tube or salvo launch simulation for a wide variety of weapon types.
An author may seem disconcerted at being asked to come up with a main point for his discourse, as though it is an infringement on his objectivity. Such reticence goes with engineering traditions. Advancing a thesis in exposition is not the same as promoting some cause, though it may seem like it to some engineers. The proposal thesis simply flows
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Fig. 2. In the STOP Proposal System, the proposal is organized into tentative units of argument, or topics, in the topical outline and these are confirmed and amplified in the storyboard development process. Each topic module is structured to encourage purposeful writing that is substantiated and salesworthy . Group critique and brainstorming during storyboard and galley reviews ensures that the story fulfills the win strategy and is compliant, convincing, and readable.
What? with Why? or So What? These elements make any appropriate point that is relevant and important to the reader and thus can serve to unify and make significant and memorable all the things being said in the passage. Here is perfunctory discourse: A superheterodyne receiver is used in the command link. Here is strategic discourse: A superheterodyne receiver was selected as the most reliable way to achieve maximum sensitivity in the field. In other words, there is always a research or design thesis behind the analysis/description that should be the object of the discourse for it to be of interest, relevant, and convincing.
THE STOP SYSTEM

The STOP system [ 2 ] , [3], [4], [5] developed at Hughes in the 1960s incorporates these ideas into a group writing method (see Fig. 2) with a structural twist. The whole idea was that a modular format could organize technical discourse into propositional units by taking advantage of our natural inclination to write in short passages leading to relevant conclusions. The thesis-theme-figure structure would encourage more purposeful and comprehensible writing, and by giving an example, the figure would serve the psychological need of proving the text argument. The journalistic device of expanded figure captions, directly informative captions, helped make the figures more self explanatory and meaningful to the text argument, and more promotional. Modularity worked because it closely matched what was already going on between the lines. Thesis sentences and thematic captions caught on because they served the readers basic need to have things explained. The storyboard (Fig. 1) became the key to achieving an effective proposal content because it reveals the sense of the topic quickly to the reviewing group and encourages revisions.
Writing to the storyboard as a thesisful unit leads naturally to a requirements versus solution attitude in the story that is perfect for the proposal genre. The author tends to think of the thesis as the solution to a requirement, and is ready to justify the manner of solving it and prove that it can really be done. Group review of storyboards in a wall environment enables group participation and coordination in the writing process. The story can be created equally by the proposal team as well as by the author, during the process of planning and review, and the author then implements these ideas. The storyboard makes this possible because it renders the story plan visible to all group members in a real-time, dynamic debating environment. This makes the document a true organizational product rather than an engineering notebook.
Benefits to Readers
Readers benefit from the modular format because of its glaring visibility of content (see Fig. 3). The main point is made clear at the beginning, and the text discussion is limited and supported by a figure that works with it. The figure is easily located and readers can hop back and forth to the text. Readers can compare topic to topic throughout the book without losing their bearings in the story. The essential message of each topic is made accessible by its various rubrics, or story flags: the topical title, thesis sentence, text subheads, figures and figure highlighting, verbal visuals, and expanded captions. Rubrics are crucial in helping readers grasp and remember the intent and significance of any text. Rubrics are especially important in high tech proposals because readers are never as technically qualified as authors, and they are usually hanging on to understanding by the skin of their teeth. The device of the thesis sentence dramatically improves the chances of comprehension because its extraction of the text shows how to take the details of the discussion, and
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thus helps compensate for the readers unfamiliarity with the technology. The thesis sentence also supports more insightful reviews by the volume leaders, management, and red team, thus bringing group strategic influence into the forest of technicalities. In the conventional discourse format, the readers big problem is determining what the author is driving at. The problem is more urgent in the proposal, where the evaluator needs to quickly see What do you propose? Why is it good? How does it meet requirements? and How can I believe what youre saying? Undoubtedly because these reader needs are better met, the STOP format has received an enduring, warm reception by government and industry evaluators in the U.S. and Europe. The Key Issues Visual Early in the development of STOP we observed that the most strategic and important passages of a proposal, those introducing the overall approach, did not already have technical figures to illustrate them. This led to the practice of extracting a dot list from the text showing the specific elements of the approach. Usually authors know what the technical solution is in general terms and technically detailed terms, but they have not thought out its specific elements in rhetorically definitive terms for instructing others. By identifying all specific elements of the approach or solution in one column, and setting these against key issues or requirements in another column, a logical discipline is created which describes and rationalizes the approach, clarifying it for both the author and reader. The dialectic pairing of these columns (e.g., is Software Schedule the issue behind Top Down Design or Use of Off-the-shelf Software?) ensures that a consistent, logical relationship occurs between all requirements/approach elements. A third benefits column can provide further justification (when needed) in terms understandable to the customer, for example: Key Issue - Low risk in HW/SW development. Approach - Commercial hardware for display and processing. - Capture 50% SW design from existing programs. Benefit - On-time, on-budget program. Naturally this analysis should be done before the text is written to ensure that it covers the complete story. The purpose of this kind of verbal visual was not simply to fill our topic formula (as we were accused) but to show understanding of the problem, clarify ones approach and justify it, and thereby introduce the driving ideas that will be discussed in the rest of the section (see Fig. 4). Sections that lack this strategic discipline and focus may lapse into description and boilerplate. This problem-versus-solution device was so effective in identifying section strategy that it became a requirement for every section in the proposal. We called this a dialectic verbal visual, and it appears to be a basic story discovery technique applicable to both reports and proposals. It is an important example of the structural method of developing discourse, and the key to brainstorming high tech sales arguments.
THE PROPOSAL DEVELOPMENT CHALLENGE There are many caliber factors that a proposal must satisfy, including strategy, compliance, responsiveness, substantiation, comprehensibility, and salesworthiness, and it may not be clear to members of the team what they consist of or look like in the product. The development procedure as well as the writing format itself must help to clarify and satisfy these goals for participants not trained in the literary arts. It must provide a discovery discipline because the specific story for each technical area is not known at the beginning, despite the existence of a baseline technical approach. Fast creation and easy revision of strategy and supporting argument is essential because the way to a convincing presentation is not handed down from above. The method of creation must begin with the traditional design reviews and extend into the proposal story planning in an unbroken flow. This challenge is severe and is probably unheard of outside of high-technology competitions. The answer lies in following a disciplined procedure, vigorous story boarding, and the use of pre-formatted worksheets to guide the leaders, authors, and reviewers through each function. STOP Development Process The STOP development process is outlined in detail in Fig. 5. The main phases are: Requirements Analysis, Outlining and Steps 1- 6 Strategizing. Storyboarding and Writing. Steps 8, 9, 10 Step 7 Compliance Analysis. Draft Edit and Galley Review. Step 13 Steps 11, 12, 14 Red Team Review. Twenty two worksheets are available (12 of these are shown in the chart) to guide the proposal team through each step. Worksheets are used when needed according to the experience of the author. This is a structured, self-teaching stem that leaves nothing to chance in extracting an effective proposal story out of a rumbling herd of engineer authors and technical section heads. The STOP development process originally started with outlining and storyboarding, and it was assumed that strategizing of the story (identifying issues, approaches, benefits, proofs, and so on) would be accomplished during storyboard preparation and review, particularly of the lead strategic topics. Wrong. It turned out that requirements analysis, strategy/approach development and compliance analysis were not properly addressed during the heat of storyboard preparation. Groups would show up for storyboarding not knowing what they had to talk about. In the late 1970s the Scenario technique came along and inspired us to overcome this problem. Learning from Scenario The improved purposefulness and coherence of the modular proposal requires a certain management commitment, namely to detailed planning, review, and revision of the text plan and figures. As we have seen, this should be done at the topic module level via storyboarding, which entails a systematic critique of thesis, text argument, and required figures prior to the first
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B (U) KEY ISSUES THAT MUST BE ADDRESSED IN LIGHT OF OPERATORS NEEDS

FDS software development provides low risk and minimum cost solutions to potential problem areas from requirements definition through CSCI testing. Approach
Key Development Issues
Provide a low risk design methodology
Use proven structured design techniques to encompass NDI software, newly developed Ada software, and specialized processing languages. Create a design that isolates long-standing development and proven techniques for acoustic processing from newer advanced techniques such as broadband, coherent, and active processing. Develop an integrated, incremental build plan to implement thest techniques independently allowing early evaluation of operator needs while interacting with these new techniques of signal processing and information extraction.
Provide low risk approach to software development
FDS requires large data bases with varied
Provide a simple data base management approach that accommodates the high capacity and throughput requirements. Employ object oriented design methodology characteristics to encapsulate data early in the design. Create an independent HCI software function with flexibility to evolve without affecting other software functions. Make maximum use of COTS for windowing and display overlay techniques. Make maximum use of NDI and COTS software for initial desing base of proven technology for FDS. Build new technology into FDS in a layered manner isolating techniques that may provide risk to the program. Ada is the language of choice except for target processors that do not support Ada or low-level processing that requires exceptionally high throughput. Early trade studies will finalize language selection for all functions and processors.
Design evolution as a function of operator needs
Use of NDI
Languages
Fig. 4. The Classical Issues versus Approach Visual shows the reader your analysis of the problem and how it drives your approach. The explanation of the approach elements shows a thought-out scheme, reveals your innovations, and fairly well implies the benefits. This technique may look merely editorial, but is vital because it offers a method of creating proposal content, i.e., sales arguments, for each contributing discipline
draft. In effect this means that the proposal manager, or technical director, along with the STOP development editor, has to help new authors get to the right points and sell them more effectively. This indeed is the penalty of STOP, the need for incisive strategic leadership in the storyboarding process. Naturally some managers have looked for an easier way of controlling the group writing effort without having to critique what the engineers come up with. This way was provided by Hyman Silvers Scenario Technique [6]. Scenario provided valuable guidance in how to understand and respond to government Request for Proposal (RFP) documents, within a more or less conventional writing procedure and format. Its chief contribution to the state of the art was its application of the storyboard process to the section level rather than the topic or modular level. A big advantage of this probably was the jettisoning of the bothersome modular format and thesis sentences. The purpose of the section storyboard in Scenario was to establish the theme and strategy for the whole section and show an overview of intended figure usage. After review of this planning sheet, authors are free to carry out the plan as they see fit. This section strategy brainstorming is a very constructive procedure, but, of course, it is not really storyboarding because it lacks control over the propositional unit. A possible pitfall is opening the door again to rambling
dissertation and boilerplate, but scenario did reduce the burden of management review. However, it also made us realize that the proper place to brainstorm strategy was along with requirements analysis, separately from topic level Storyboarding. This insight prompted us into a thorough overhaul of our pre-storyboarding functions. Strategizing and Outlining First we realized that there were two tiers of strategizing and outlining, which correspond to 1) overall proposal management and marketing, and 2) section level technical direction. These must be attacked in different ways because one is top-down and the other is bottom-up. A classical top-down, bottom-up convergence must be achieved for the proposal to be correct in both marketing and technical approach. The proposal manager (PM) first creates a Proposal Win Strategy (form 1) by group brainstorming that covers customer concerns, key approaches, special features, and the competitions strength and weaknesses. Then a Section Strategy guide (form 2) is brainstormed to identify some key issues, themes, and features for every disciplinary area. This will be somewhat eclectic, but, it shows what the proposal manager feels each area must emphasize, which should not be disregarded. From these, the Preliminary Proposal Outline (form 3) can be made along tentative topical lines that shows the architecture of
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Fig. 5. STOP Proposal Development Process, Standard worksheets that are simple and correct for each step of the development process are important because proposal teams must he mobilized hastily, and the procedures for creating approach argument and compliance are fraught with misunderstandings and controversy.
response, with page limits for each section to show relative emphasis. Major themes and claims can be annotated on this outline for the benefit of those not present at the brainstorming.
Section Requirements and Strategy

At the same time that the proposal manager develops top level strategy (form l), the section leaders must analyze their responses to all requirements in all the governing documents. In STOP a formal Requirements versus Response dialectic (form 4) is recommended to identify the driving requirements and responses that will characterize the story, out of the total set of requirements. From this, each section leader is able to produce two important documents: 1) his Section Strategy (form 9, which explains his approach and its benefits for each key requirements, and 2 ) his compliance sheets (or to start them, form 7), which will give a one paragraph response to every paragraph in the SOW and spec. This puts him in a position to make a Section Topical Outline (form 6), which shows topical response titles for all Information for Proposal Preparation (IFPP) requirements. He will also follow the guidelines from the proposal managers Win Strategy (form 1) and Preliminary Proposal Outline (form 3). Standardized worksheets should be used to facilitate rapid teamwork. The section leader is now in a position to begin storyboard preparation, knowing what must be talked about and justified, and how it will fit in a set of topics. It should be noted that the proposal manager usually cant accomplish all this in detail, but provides valuable insight with strategy recommendations to the sections. The Lead Topic Storyboard (8) should then be prepared, which presents the key issues, approach, features, and benefits that drive the rest of the section, and must be made highly visible to the reader.
Requirements Versus Issues All Statement of Work (SOW) and Specification requirements should be responded to somewhere in the proposal; this is demanded by most Requests for Proposals. Sometimes the procuring agency or the bidding company will make the mistake of trying to organize the whole proposal around these requirements. This is bad because the SOW and specs deal with tasks, functions, and performance requirements, which are repetitious and not too compatible with a topical discussion on understanding the problem and justifying the approach. An important feature of the STOP process is preparing a compliance response summary and index (form 7), which avoids this pitfall. The compliance summary should be segregated from the rest of the proposal, where the evaluator can score it quickly and easily for degree of technical and management compliance. This lets authors write a strategic issues and approach proposal without worrying whether they have answered the mail on all SOW and spec items. Following this lead, many government agencies now request such a treatment in RFPs. Of course, the key requirements response will also be built into the storyboards (form 9) via the Section Strategy exercise (forms 5 and 8) and storyboard reviewing. Thus, the dual needs of strategy and compliance can be satisfied without sacrificing outline simplicity and coherence.
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Red Team Reviewing The purpose of a red team review is to have an independent critique by high level reviewers of the proposal against the RFP to determine its soundness, compliance, substantiation, and salesmanship-a potentially valuable double-check on the proposal effort. But in the conventional situation the red team review has to be delayed so long to gain a complete manuscript package that insufficient time remains to adopt its recommendations. This travesty is often compounded by the teams lack of preparation and knowledge of what to look for. STOP offers a solution by permitting an early red team review on the storyboards, conducted by sections, just after the proposal teams review and revision of the storyboards. The review results can then be fed directly back to the section leaders for incorporation into the draft writing phase that follows storyboarding. Days or weeks later the red team can review the final galleys to confirm that its early advice has been heeded and that the final text and figures are clear, readable, and likely to convince/sell. Both reviews can be conducted on the wall or at a desk. In this concept, the red team is not seen as a panel of experts who are shortly to leave town, but as a disciplined working team, making a constructive contribution that assists the proposal manager in building a quality proposal. Their early involvement in the critique of storyboards enables a proposal assessment while there is still time to correct deficiencies.
OF THE ADVENT GO
proposals, namely armwaving, the lack of substantiation of the design approach and program planning story. It does this with its GO charts, which are data-rich, multi-figured presentations that show proposed design features, how the system will perform, and detailed management planning of the project phases (see Fig. 6). The GO chart reader experiences a concise yet progressive graphic story that is both wide in scope and deep in specifics, and, when done right, it convinces the reader that the offeror is well prepared to undertake the job. Obviously GO charts demand more engineering and management homework, and thus act as an important discipline on planning specific proposal content. This helps reduce the armwaving so indigenous to proposal efforts. Patton, who was an engineering manager, deserves much credit for this concept, an important contribution to the state of the art. His famous logo is a well-deserved No BS sign.
THESTOP
AND
GO SYSTEM
After Scenario, another way to eliminate the agony of text planning and review (story boarding) was offered by Hudson Patton of TRW who came out with the Graphics Oriented (GO) technique around 1979 [7]. The GO technique attempts to move the story out of the text and put it into the figures, on grounds that engineers communicate better with graphics than with words, and that the essence of the story is in the technical design, data, and numbers anyway. This idea may seem ingenuous, because the story really resides in a problem solving rationale that is more abstract than the data, but it has some important elements of truth in it. Unfortunately GO discourages text planning by prereviewing only figures, and without this story discipline, a GO-type proposal may become packed with dense, complex foldouts, including boilerplate figures as filler. This would tend to destroy credibility as fast as the GO charts work to enhance it. Amazingly, the text is deemed unfit to tell the approach argument itself and is treated as a marketing walkthrough of the various figures, and hence does not have to be written by an engineer. Of course there is no topic structure or emphasis on thesis; in fact, the text story is supposed to more or less trace the diagrams and tables, eliminating any need for text outlining. With due respect to a great system, this is the tail wagging the dog and could produce text that is redundant and boring. But it does get the engineers off the bidding expense quickly. The Genius of GO Charts The genius of the GO technique is that it offers an effective solution to one of the really major problems of high-tech
We have seen that the STOP/storyboard method provides strategic and comprehensible proposals, while the GO method builds strong credibility. These methods can be combined into a STOP and GO system that provides strong visual proofs along with convincing text arguments. A high-quality STOP and GO proposal (for the SubACS program) was developed by an IBM/Hughes/Raytheon team in 1981, complete with modular format, thesis sentences, and GO charts throughout. This idea was then further developed at Hughes Ground Systems Group in the mid 1980s into a mature STOP and GO system that improves the figures while avoiding the excesses of straight GO. The proportion of GO charts was limited to avoid reader burnout, but at the same time various principles of data enrichment and thematization of figures was developed to increase the value of all figures, whether in GO charts or not. In STOP and GO each topic module has a clear thesis and text argument which drives the figures in the expected way, i.e., the text justifies the proposed approach, while the figures are selected to substantiate and prove the justification. The text never walks through the figures. The use of multiple figures on one page (to achieve more story progression in the figures) is encouraged, and GO chart foldouts are used only when really necessary to present a naturally complex proof or management plan. The GO charts are also limited to three or four figures or tables. Benefits and Penalties The STOP and GO technique attempts to meet the most important proposal writing and readership needs. It enables the derivation of a purposeful, topical proposal outline based on win strategy and in-depth requirements analysis. It supports story discovery with storyboarding, key issues analysis, and group brainstorming. A writing discipline is offered by the thesisful, illustrated storyboards, which can be reviewedhevised by the team much more easily than manuscript. The basic caliber factors of strategyisoundness, compliance, comprehensibility, credibility, and salesmanship are addressed with structural
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devices such as GO charts and worksheets. STOP and GO incorporates most that is available in the state of the art. The penalties of STOP and GO include the need for special training of the authors and leaders, and for good top-down strategy leadership during story development. Much more homework is required to create purposeful stories and to substantiate them. The glaring story visibility and group dynamic environment result in stronger reviews and perhaps some unnerving wholesale changes of direction in controversial areas. With some experience, the cost of doing a STOP proposal should be approximately the same as a conventional one, since the same number of people are applied over the same schedule. The cost of a STOP and GO proposal will be somewhat higher, in proportion to the heavier figure mix. The cost of GO charts without a good in-house capability in computer graphics could be considered exorbitant. Furthermore, a storyboard format is characteristically susceptible to a larger revision workload. Storyboard reviewing itself often results in heavy revisions (which should be considered a sign of its efficacy), but this cost is absorbed in a more intensive authoring effort.
IN SEARCH OF SALESMANSHIP
eridge, an engineer, understood that the technical person often needs instruction in how to make persuasive arguments. He was probably mankinds second attempt (after Professor Nelson) to break out of the perfunctory mold of engineering writing. The Positioning to Win system was the forerunner of the various inspirational selling approaches one sees today, but except for Perceived Differences Development, it offered little new in the way of writing technique, nor did it recognize the basic faults of the conventional riverraft methods it relied on.
The Shipley System Shipleys Winning Proposals (1985) [lo], also emphasizes win strategy development and salesmanship, follows Scenario in section strategizing, and has adopted storyboarding, but not GO. The Shipley system takes storyboarding seriously but avoids the modular format, probably because it departs from the established doctrine of expository discourse, which is expertly extolled. The storyboard is applied to text segments of any length, so there is a subject unity but not necessarily any thematic unity. The thesis sentence is replaced by a theme sentence, which establishes the sales slant of the section. The device of the theme sentence is better than nothing, since it gets the authors involved in sales talk, but it doesnt contribute a lot to the discovery of the arguments or visualizations for the remaining discourse in the section. The Shipley System is patterned basically after Scenario, which means a conventional riverraft format with occasional figures. Emphasis is placed on a two-column text format for a sales magazine image, and on the use of small, simplified, managerial figures that fit in these columns and are appealing because they can be instantly grasped, and hence are ideal for making a sales point, but may not be common in high tech proposals. Since a run-on format cant be visualizeld before final layout, page dummies are produced to show hoped for placement of the material throughout. This is not critiquable in the ordinary sense due to its lack of content. The proposal management method in Shipley is hased on the concept of using a core team. This old time favorite promises to strengthen strategy and salesmanship, and save bidding expense, by having the section outlines, themes, figures, and mock-ups prepared by a small group of gifted proposal engineers. Supposedly the regular section leaders and authors then fill in the blanks after arrival of the RFP. There would be little bottom-up participation by the stable of authors as there is in STOP storyboarding. Furthermore, there is little evidence that a core team approach actually works well in practice, since it requires a core team knowledgeable in all the disciplines, and its outlines, often platitudinous, can be easily brushed off by the real authors. Author training in strategic story planning suffers. Thus Shipley is an eclectic system which imposes some win strategy and management procedure, plus early storyboard reviewing, on a conventional, permissive writing effort. This is definitely a step in the right direction, and achieves some group consensus, while safely avoiding the difficult problems of text and figure quality. Shipley contributed one important device to the state of the art: the action text title for sales.
A writing team will have a selling proposal when it clearly shows it has the right approach, can substantiate it, and offer other benefits to the customer. However, it is still necessary to make explicit sales claims throughout the proposal for every design and planning feature being offered. A problem with engineering authors is that they often assume that the benefits of a technical feature will be self evident to the reader. A fatal mistake. For each feature being presented, the STOP editodstoryboard reviewer should demand of the author: so what? or why is this good? Sales claims should be implanted on every page of the proposal, always supported en passant, quantitatively if possible. The STOP technique encourages this by requiring a standard set of rubrics that are conductive to sales claims and are highly visible and attractive to the reader. The topic title is given a sales slant through active constructions. The thesis sentence is worked to emphasize the main point as a solution, or benefits of key features. The key issues verbal visual shows approaches as solutions to requirements/problems and explains benefits for each. The strategic lead topic introduces key issues, approaches, features, and benefits for the whole section. The enriched figures provide internal explanations and benefits (e.g., the use of callouts to make sales claims.) The expanded figure captions provide explanations of why the illustrated item is designed the way it is and how it will provide benefits. The GO system contributes to the state of the art with GO charts, which sell by offering systematic proofs, and sales claim figure captions, which positively assert the claims being supported by the GO chart figures. Other systems have contributed importantly to salesmanship, for example, Beveridges Positioning to W n (c. early i 1960s) [8], [9]. Beveridge was called the Billy Sunday of Win Strategy, as he gleefully introduced Discriminators, Ahas, Ohohs, Ho Hums, and Ghosts. This may sound silly, but it is wholly necessary to discover the merits of ones position. Bev-
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Figure Titles for Selling Thirty years ago when STOP was launched, figure titles were simple noun labels that named or classified the figure, like Data Link Transmitter Schematic. The figure was not considered part of the argument being communicated, but a necessary artifact or exhibit that was referred to in the text, which one should turn to and examine. However, the discovery of the latent thesis-themefigure pattern suggested that the figure should really try to illustrate the thesis, and substantiate or prove the argument, not to document the artifact. Since the technical artifact is often nearly meaningless to most readers, it became clear that the real purpose of the figure caption should be not to classify it, but to explain how the figured item helps prove the thesis. This theory was implemented in STOP with a two-part figure caption, which required that a complete sentence explanation be added after the short noun label. For example, LSA Effort. Supportability of the mission system and support system for each phase of the program will be achieved by this proven Logistics Support Analysis (LSA) process. Or, to be more promotional: Circuit Card Assembly Test. An integrated test vector development eliminates duplication and reduces cost and schedule risks. This simple add-a-sentence technique renders the figure more meaningful and takes advantage of the appeal of the figures in selling the proposal. It gradually brought a change in how Hughes engineers selected and presented their figures in proposals, The rubric (the caption) wags the discourse (the figure content) so that more strategic figures are conceived. Claims and Proofs In his GO technique, Patton abandoned the usual text-figure relationship in favor of putting the essential story into the figures. This demanded more self-explanatory figures, as well as expanded, explanatory figure captions, as were already in vogue. Patton went a step further and conceived of the caption as a sales claim, that is, an explicit, bold statement of the benefits to the reader of the approach or findings illustrated in the figure, thus: ISOLATION OF NUCLEAR CRITICAL CODE AND DATA enhances system reliability and availability while reducing the scope of the costly nuclear system certification process. This is still somewhat of a two-part structure, of course, but all pretense of artifactual identification is dropped. This idea, greatly appropriate to the proposal, Patton conveys in the dictum: Every claim has a proof and every proof has a claim. The main claims of the whole GO chart thus stand out, and the GO chart is able to communicate better without a text argument to shore it up. Basically, the conclusions of the argument are moved from the text to the figure captions. Photo journalism magazines do the same thing. Thus action titles for figures, used in a promotional way, have now been adopted by most proposal systems that the
author knows of today. Some dispense with the noun title part, though one could argue that readers still need to know what they are looking at, as well as why it is there. Action Titles for Topics The tradition in text subheadings (some of which become topic module titles in STOP) has always been the same as that of figure titles, that is, noun categories, such as
System Architecture.
This shows what subject you are under and would be appropriate for the section heading, but it is not specific enough to introduce a topic, which is after all a propositional unit and main point in ones discourse. A phrase title as used in STOP, like
Modular Approach to System Architecture
is better suited to the topic module because it reveals something of the thrust of the argument, hence orients readers on not only what to look for, but that they should be looking for something. This requirement leads to a mixed system of categorical and topical headings in a STOP proposal, the topic being a propositional unit placed within a logic tree. Thus the noun section headings are shown as running heads over the phrased topic title: Section 2. System Engineering Subsection A. System Design and Rationale 4. Windowing Approach to System MMI Design. (Thesis - - -) Topic titles have not been an issue in most proposal systems that do not use the topic module format, since a run-on and probably non-thesisful structure blends well with ordinary noun subject headings. In Writing Winning Proposals, however, Shipley recommends that the journalistic action titles (i.e., full sentence titles for news items) be used instead of subject titles (noun groups) throughout the text because of their greater promotional clout in the proposal. In effect, this practice is a substitute for the thesis sentence, because the only place that one can logically implant an action title is at the beginning of a natural or latent passage (i.e., a thematic coherence unit). Theoretically this is not a bad idea if one is prohibited from otherwise recognizing the passage. While action text subheadings might offend the traditionalist, its predictable they would eventually have a similar effect on the authors writing habits as the thesis, namely to prompt the author to be more pointed and purposeful. But would this work without something like the topic module to provide the stimulus at the right places? In the STOP doctrine a phrase structured topic title (verbal or prepositional phrase) was deemed structurally midway between a noun group (section heading) and the thesis sentence. We felt this provided a segue from the categorical section title to the propositional thesis sentence. Unfortunately, this phrase rule was often ignored in practice, hence editorial effort was needed to bolster compliance. The reason, I believe, is that changing a noun heading into a phrase is harder intellectually than it appears, and is sometimes unsatisfying: Noun structure topic title-Unit Testing Minimal phrase structure-Plans for Unit Testing
TRACEY: STOP, GO, AND STATE OF THE AUT IN PROPOSAL WRITING
155
More promotional-Comprehensive Planning for Unit Testing Action Title-Unit Testing Emphasizes Production Readiness (Thesis) A totally integrated test that is initiated during the design phase by extensive simulation followed by PM/FL diagnostics tests and proof of designlproof of manufacturing tests ensures orderly transition from development to production. Going to a Shipley-type action title is easier and more effective, in the case of the topic title (this is not true for subordinate text headings). But we worried that using an action title over the thesis sentence was nearly the same as having two thesis sentences, surely an invitation to redundance. (This indeed is a penalty that has to be managed.) On the other hand, it was obvious that the action title was best at capturing attention and steering the reader into the thesis. What could be more appropriate to the propositional topic module than a propositional title? Our decision was to employ action topic titles optionally, when there was an especially important selling point to feature, since action titles were a compatible alternative to the phrase title. Once the team learned action topic titles, though, the whole section would go that way because writing them is fun. Rules are needed to keep action titles under 10 words and to avoid verbatim echoes with the thesis sentence. Also, the reader is conditioned to look for subject orientation in any title. If this is denied (e.g., by not having the key noun term up front) the reader will become frustrated and upset-and condemn the title as a bothersome gimmick. Thus the application of action topic titles has pitfalls and requires close supervision.
CONCLUSION
The state of the art in proposal preparation, as touched on in this paper, makes available a wide array of techniques and devices to help make the proposal compliant, clear, convincing, and appealing. Chief among these are the following: 1) modular format, for accessibility by reviewers and evaluators; 2) topical outlining, to organize by main discussion units; 3) topic thesis sentences, for coherent, purposeful and salesworthy writing; 4) required figures for topics, for comprehension and substantiation; 5) GO charts, for strong substantiation via comprehensive disclosure, engineering data and detailed planning; 6) figure enrichment, for comprehension and sales; 7) expanded figure titles, for greatly improved salesmanship; 8) phrased topic titles, as segues into the topics, 9) action topic titles (full sentences), as sales hooks; 10) key issues visuals and lead topics, to discover and convey issues, approach, features and benefits; 11) topic level storyboards, for effective control over story discovery, presentation and drafting; 12) group wall review of storyboards for management visibility, systematic critiquing and early feedback to authors; 13) proposal managers win strategy worksheets and customers requirements worksheets, for storyboard guidance; 14) section level win strategy worksheets, for bottom-up guidance; 15) compliance control system and worksheets, for compliance assurance without disrupting the proposal organization; and, 16) early red team reviewing, based on critiquing of storyboards, for more incisive reviews and time to respond to them. Due to lack of space, other available techniques have been left out; for example, a modular method of proposal summarizing, and management methods that take advantage of the modular structure of the work. Proposal shops might consider how their systems compare with the above proven techniques, and the cost of adapting the pertinent ones.
Practicality
We have seen why the STOP/storyboard system was developed, how the format is based on latent writing practices that are entirely natural, and how it was improved in response to other proposal systems. About 2,500 STOP reports and proposals have been published at Hughes Ground Systems Group. There is no doubt about its practicality. Achieving copy fit and figure fit within the modular format, a big worry to some, is fairly easy in straight STOP since a variety of textfigure mixes is workable and even three or four page topics are acceptable. In the STOP and GO format, the text has to be cut back to one page to enable thematiddata enrichment of the figures. This text limit is somewhat unnatural, but proposal writers accept the need to be concise. Storyboarding at the topic level is a hard discipline, but provides coordination and thesisful story quality, The practice of storyboard writing and review, which tends to become riproaring, is shocking to newcomers, who fear that valuable writing time is being wasted. Nothing could be further from the truth because storyboarding is the most important part of writing. The author has been approached by engineers over the years who say things like STOP taught me how to and I felt I could understand evaluation factors like strategy, substantiation, and selling, and how to build them in.
REFERENCES
J. R. Nelson, Writing the Technical Report. 1947.
New York: McGraw Hill,
J. R. Tracey, D. E. Rugh, and W. S. Starkey, STOP: How to achieve

coherence in proposals and reports. Report ID 65-10-10. Hughes Aircraft Co., Ground Systems Group, Fullerton, CA, Jan. 1965 [31 J. R. Tracey, The effect of thematic quantization on expository coherence, IEEE Int. Convention Record, Part 11, Mar. 1966. 141 J. R. Tracey, Managing editing a STOP proposal, the technical editor as bookbuilder, in Proc. 21st Int. Tech. Commun. Conf:, Society for Tech. Commun., Washington, DC, May 1974. J. R. Tracey, The theory and lessons of STOP discourse, IEEE Trans. Prof: Commun., vol. PC-26, no. 2, June 1983. H. Silver, Technical marketing and proposal preparation, H. Silver Associates, 2049 Century Park East, Suite 2720, Los Angeles, CA, 1987. H. T. Patton, Improving the effectiveness of your proposals, the GO (graphics oriented) technique, Communications Management Associates, Thousand Oaks, CA, 1979. -, The anatomy of a win, Beveridge Associates. 8448 Wagner Creek, Talent, OR. J. M. Beveridge and E. J. Velton, Positioning to Win. Radnor, PA: Chilton Books. Shipley Associates, How to write winning proposals, Box 40, Bountiful, UT, 1985.
James R. Tracey received the B.A. degree in English from the University of California, Berkeley. He was head of Writing Services Section at Hughes Ground Systems Group, Fullerton, CA for 30 years. He invented the STOP-~toryboarding technique there in 1962 and led his section in helping to create 2,500 STOP proposals and reports until his retirement in 1990.
Commentary
I
102
A retrospective look at STOP in action.
Author's
Responseto Commentaries
Wendel S. Starkey 4421 Dorthea Street Yorba Linda, CA 92886 [email protected]

The commentaries of Mark Bernstein, Jonathan Price, Robert E. Horn, and Edward H. Weiss regarding the STOP report are all insightful and offer several new perspectives on the principles of technical communications. One aspect of the STOP technique that did not receive the attention it deserved in the report (and hence the attention it might have earned in the commentaries) is the role it played as a discipline for enforcing management control of and strategic unity in large, multi.author engineering documents. It is no coincidence that STOPwas developed in the era of industrial publications when the single-author, single-intelligence document was vanishing and the document that demanded the talents of many authors and was often colossal in terms of page count was coming on the scene like thunder. Something had to be done to ensure continuity and strategic coherence under these new circumstances of composition. STOP storyboard reviews, backed up by subsequent critique/troubleshooting of the written topics for satisfactionof STOPquality criteria, turned out to be a workable, although demanding, solution. At the very outset of putting the storyboard review process into practice, the phenomenon of group dynamics as a creative force became dramatically evident. Simplyby acting as a group with a common goal-to make each topic and topic string as effective and informative as possible-the review cadre was energized to constructivelydebate the strategic point of each topic, its relevance, the argument proving the point, and the visual supporting it. The author who came to the review with a skimpy, or even blank, storyboard left the reviewwith a detailed, agreed-upon writing plan. His topic had been reviewed and revised before he invested his time and energy in writing it. A beneficial fallout was that the painful, sometimes desperate task of last-minute revisions with the printing deadline zooming in at jet speed was virtually eliminated. There were times, too, when the review process went far beyond the critique of topics and topic strings. I have seen complete system redesign and management-plan retailoring take place at the storyboard wall, once the review cadre's creative juices began flowing. The storyboard reviews also gave us a means of double-checking compliance with the customer's guidance documents (a very tender concern with most procuring agencies). Pertinent portions of the customer's RFP or specifications were pinned up alongside the topic string's storyboards. Tie-back references were noted on the storyboards and eventuaUypublished, leading the evaluator from the topic back to his own requirements, and thus easing his task--a virtuous thing to do in a competitive environment. Ideally, review-cadre continuity was maintained for each document. The program/proposal manager and the technical director or their representatives needed to be at the reviews, along with section or string honchos, the topic authors, and a STOP specialist. The STOP specialist, by the way, was a new species on the engineering publications scene. At last, with the advent of STOP and thorough training in its disciplines, the technical editor had something better to do with his life than repairing punctuation and chopping out deadwood. He became instrumental in developing and effectively presenting sound proposal/report strategy. In our operation,
Commentary
103
the most senior STOPspecial-. ~. , ists were dubbed "managing W i t h
the advent of STOP ' the in the earlyeditor for a consor1960s, when I was managing editors." They were sup- technical editor had sometium-generated proposal to ported by critiquers, troubleimplement the air-defense shooters, and copy editors. thing better to do with his life ground environment for the Although we were not than repairing punctuation NorthAt~antic Treaty Organizaaware of it at first, the STOP
storyboarding technique early in the game kindled a widespread fire in the aerospace/defense commu. nity. As time went by, we were bemused now and again by being "introduced" to the topic storyboarding approach by the publications departments of companies with which we had teamed for proposal efforts. My own faith in the STOP discipline was strong from the beginning and was unshakably established tion. The proposal totaled tens of thousands of pages and involved, on a limited schedule, teaching STOPand reviewing storyboards at companies in Italy, France, West Germany, The Netherlands, Canada, and England. The coherence and continuity in this winning proposal were not absolute, but they came pretty close--close enough to remove any doubts about the effectiveness of the STOP discipline.

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The Beginnings of STOP Storyboarding and the Modular Proposal

Figure 1. This photograph shows an early-days storyboarding session at HughesFullerton.

The Two-Page Module Evolves

The Challenge of Establishing a Standard

Implementation Brought Improvements

Early Reviews Now Focused Our Message

STOP Became a Way of Life

J. R. TRACEY D. E. RUGH W. S. STARKEY

Information Media D e p a r t m e n t ID 65-10-10 52092

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

A-0 A-2 A-4 A-6 A-8 A-10 A-12 A-14

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

The STOP Technique at a Glance

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

THE STOP CONCEPT

*Journal of Computer Documentation August ] 999/Vol 23, No. 3

8 The STOP Technique at a Glance C()NCEPT OF THE TOPICAL MODULE

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

DEFINITE TOPIC BOUNDARIES STRENGTHENS COHERENCE

500 WORDS WITH FOLDOUT

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Voi 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

THE CONVENTIONAL, TRIAL AND ERROR PUBLISHING PROCEDURE

PROPOSAL EVALUATOR/REPORT READER

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Voi 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

OUTLINING BASICS 1) MAKE TENTATIVE LIST OF SUBJECT ITEMS

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

The Nature of the Problem

THE RIVER-RAFT DOCUMENT

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

,~/~;.~F'-~ THE RIVER-RAFT DOCUMENT

I'VE LOST THE THREAD:

*Journal of Computer Documentation

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

SMALL 1 PAG E FOLDOUT

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

52092.9 ORIGINAL FORMAT I GENERAL DESCRIPTION A. COMPUTER B. SOFTWARE C. EQUIPMENTING II ETC.

BREAKOUT OF NATURAL TOPICS

& AVAILABILITY,~, ~OVIALCOMPILER ,NSTA~LAT,ON ,OWER IND

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/V0123, No. 3

b. Adjustments ~ 6l Pattern Analysis ~

I i, Missile lteliabflily LI Introduction ]

1. Missile Itcliabllity SETTING OF RELIABILITY ltEQUIItEMENTS AND GOALS

*Journal of Computer Documentation August1999/Vol 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

~\ ~ REV,SE~ ) ~,~1 EFF~

Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

THE ELUSIVE THESIS

HAVE A POINT: GET T O IT,

KEEP OUT EXTRANEOUS MATTER.

RELATE FIGURE TO TEXT.

*Journal of Computer Documentation August 1999/Vol 23, No. 3

....................~,., " ~ z-.'-"~r" "4"~ TOPIC #.~)',.~z'.~.Pl ~ ~ . c ~