THE MR SALLES

TOTALLY FREE
AND AWESOME
REVISION GUIDE FOR
LITERATURE AND
LANGUAGE
1
 First published 2021

(c) 2021 Dominic Salles

All rights reserved. The right of Dominic Salles to be identified as the Author of this work has been
asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. No part of this
work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronical, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the
Author.

Dominic Salles still lives in Swindon, with his workaholic wife Deirdre, his jiu-jitsu-loving son, Harry,
and Bob, the 16-year-old rescue dog who only sometimes remembers where the toilet is. His sister
Jacey is world famous for her Spanish accent. She would be hilarious in her own YouTube channel.
His daughter Jess has just become a teacher and coach to the Welsh women's Aussie Rules Football
team. He drives a 2006 Prius.

He has been a teacher for 28 years and is still learning.

His YouTube channel, Mr Salles Teaches English, will one day earn him a living. When that happens,
he is going to train as a snowboard instructor, because it is so much cheaper than other forms of
midlife crisis and much more fun.

2
Introduction
Congratulations on downloading my free guide. We all love a bargain. I spend my
teaching career trying to show students that they can get top grades. I know this is
difficult to believe, when you are stuck on grades 3 or 4 or 5, but it is true. 27% of my
viewers improve by at least 3 grades from their mocks.
Well, I hope your (97 page) taste of my guides persuades you that it really is possible.
You will learn 100+ new things to take straight into your literature and language exams
(for those top grades). If you aren’t satisfied, well, I promise you your money back!
But if you are satisfied, drop me some comments and likes on some videos, share the
love and tell your friends.
Good luck,
Mr Salles

Contents
The Mr Salles Guide to An Inspector Calls Page 4
The Mr Salles Ultimate Guide to Macbeth Page 22
Mr Salles Analyses Jekyll and Hyde Page 41
The Mr Salles Guide to Literature Page 49
The Mr Salles Quick Guide to Grammar, Punctuation and Spelling Page 59
The Mr Salles Guide to 100% in AQA English Language Exam Page 63
The Mr Salles Guide to Awesome Short Story Writing Page 80
The Mr Salles Quick Guide to Description Page 84
From my online course: Master Description for GCSE (coming soon!) Page 88

3
From: The Mr Salles Guide to An Inspector Calls
The Three Unities
Priestley is following the Greek tradition in sticking to the three unities. The Greeks
invented theatre, and invented the idea of Tragedy. The unities come:
“from Aristotle's Poetics, holding that a play should have one unified plot (unity of action)
and that all the action should occur within one day (unity of time) and be limited to a single
locale (unity of place)” (collinsdictionary.com)
Priestley wants his audience to know they are watching a play which he has crafted. (Did
you know a ‘wright’ is a craftsman, a maker? This is why we have the word playwright, not
playwrite).
Aristotle wrote about his unities as necessary parts of a tragedy. Priestley is consequently
telling us that the story which unfolds is therefore a tragedy. This is highly unusual, because
in this tragedy there is only one death – and even that is uncertain, at the end.
However, in this way he shows us that the events are symbolic – Eva’s death, and second
death, represent the tragedies of the First and Second World Wars, as you will learn later.
The other tragedy is the fate of the working classes, who have been exploited by the ruling
classes. Eva is not just a character, she is a symbol of the millions of Eva Smiths and John
Smiths: they are victimised as she is.

The Date
Priestley chooses “an evening in Spring, 1912” because it is just before The First World War.
It is also essential to him because it places the play during the context of women’s campaign
for the vote (suffrage), and the Suffragettes.
1912 is also crucial in that he can begin the play with a tragedy, the sinking of the Titanic in
April of 1912. We know that it is just about to happen, when Birling talks about it being
“unsinkable”. Priestley isn’t just trying to discredit Birling for his stupidity: the dramatic
irony of us knowing the Titanic will sink also invites us to think of the play as a tragedy.
We can also infer that “Spring” is symbolic of rebirth, optimism, and hope. Perhaps he
suggests at the beginning of the play that hope is still possible. This is very relevant to his
message – the audience can learn from the play and vote for a socialist future, in which men
don’t just “look after their own family” but remember their social responsibility: “we are all
responsible for each other”.

Symbolic Setting v Realistic Setting

Priestley does not care “if a realistic set is used”, but is very careful to demand what
impression needs to be created for his symbolism to work.

4
The furniture has to reveal that this is a dysfunctional family. It is “heavily comfortable”,
which is almost a contradiction, an oxymoron. He then contrasts this with “not cosy and
homelike”. We understand that, despite their wealth and luxury, the Birlings are not at
home with each other.

Remember, though, that this also represents all the upper classes.
Priestley’s tone suggests that he prefers a setting which is symbolic. One clue to this is that
he lists the requirements of the realistic set first, as people do when they wish to then offer
a winning counter argument – in this case, the symbolic setting last.
He also lists the difficulties of a realistic set, involving lots of furniture moving, as a way to
dissuade the producer from having a realistic set. So, he promotes a symbolic setting:
“Producers who wish to avoid this tricky business, which involves two re-settings of the scene
and some very accurate adjustments of the extra flats necessary would be well advised to
dispense with an ordinary realistic set if only because the dining-table becomes a nuisance.”
Look at how he juxtaposes “realistic” with “ordinary”, suggesting that a much better
theatrical effect involves dispensing with realism. Be realistic if you want to be boring, but
symbolic if you want to be interesting, he seems to be saying.
There are real physical details. But they all have symbolic meanings. Let’s see how:

1. “EDNA is just clearing the table”.

It is important that we see the contrast between Edna, the symbol of the working
classes, being made to work while the privileged Birlings celebrate idly.

2. The table “has no cloth”.

Why specify this detail? Perhaps it suggests that the Birlings don’t quite understand
proper etiquette. Not only should there be a cloth, but it should also be white.

This may suggest that they incorrectly see themselves as having higher status – this
will be the reason that Sybil has for turning her charity away from Eva, dismissing her
as “girls of that class”.

Perhaps Priestley is suggesting that the white table cloth is just a veneer, just like the
respectability of the upper classes. As the Inspector says, he can’t always “tell the
difference” between “respectable” and “criminal” when he meets the ruling classes.

Or, perhaps white is too symbolic of goodness and innocence, which does not fit
with his view of the Birlings, who are all guilty.

Which interpretation do you prefer?

5
 3. Etiquette
Priestley specifies that there must be “champagne glasses,” cleared away, “then
replacing them with decanter of port” and insists “Port glasses are already on the
table.” This does precisely follow Edwardian etiquette. However, it also strongly
emphasises the amount of alcohol being consumed. Partly this will be to make it
easier to show how much Eric is drinking.

More than this, because it was etiquette, all the upper classes were expected to
entertain guests and drink this way. It emphasises how much the ruling classes
actually drank, so that we can criticise them for their habit.

It also questions their judgment. How much of Eva’s tragedy is caused by

drunkenness? We’ll think about this with Gerald and Eric’s dealings with Eva.

A final implication might be that all upper-class families rely on this ritual at dinner to
cover up their lack of family feeling. They simply need the alcohol to get through the
meal because they don’t necessarily enjoy each other’s company.

4. “All five are in evening dress of the period, the men in tails and white ties, not
dinner-jackets.”
This again emphasises how difficult it must be for them to relax. Dinner jackets are
far more comfortable, but Priestley forbids this.

This will force the male characters to appear a bit stiff and, because they won’t want
to sit on their “tails”, they will have to adjust them every time they move.

This will look both uncomfortable and a bit like a ritual. In this way Priestley could be
showing how class divisions are actually unnatural, and also damage the upper
classes. You will see this when we look at the role of women, and when you read
about the fate of upper-class sons in The First World War.

Lighting
His instructions for the lighting also show how keen he is for everything to be symbolic:
“The lighting should be pink and intimate until The Inspector arrives and then it
should be brighter and harder”.
Notice that the pink lighting is “intimate” which contradicts the impression of the furniture
which was “not cosy”. This is a subtle way of indicating that the family is not harmonious. It
is an attempt at intimacy, but it can’t work because they are all so busy deceiving
themselves or each other.

6
The idea of deceit is suggested by the word “pink”, which we associate with the phrase ‘rose
tinted spectacles’, indicating a desire to choose to see yourself or circumstances in a false
light – a positive one.
This is why The Inspector’s arrival is timed with a “brighter” and “harder” light. Not only
does this suggest the lighting should be whiter, but it also gives the symbolic reason – The
Inspector is going to reveal the hard truth; he is going to make the family see things as they
really are, rather than through the rose tinted “pink” light.
Later in the play Sheila will notice that the timing of The Inspector’s arrival is important –
“Sheila: (sharply attentive) Is that when The Inspector came, just after father had said
that?”. The change in lighting will make it much easier for the audience to remember this
moment clearly.

More than that, though, it will suggest that The Inspector has greater, or supernatural,
powers. He somehow appears because of Birling’s words, almost as though he is summoned
by them, like an incantation to invoke a spirit. This is emphasised by his effect on the
lighting, the life of the stage, again implying a supernatural power.
Priestley will link this to his choice of name for The Inspector, “Goole”, which is a
homophone for ‘ghoul’ or ghost.

Time and The Future

Calling the Inspector “Goole” taps into his audience’s collective knowledge of A Christmas
Carol, by Charles Dickens. Writers often use deliberate allusions like this to remind the
audience of texts they already know. You have already seen this with the communion
service, Murder on the Orient Express, and The Bible. No, these allusions are not
coincidences, they are ways of telling his audience that his ideas are relevant – they are
connected to ideas his audience already know.

A Christmas Carol
This is another didactic text or, if you like, a morality tale. Here the job of the ghosts is to
teach the protagonist, Scrooge, the consequences of his behaviour. They are named after
time: the ghosts of Christmas past, present and future.
Just like Inspector Goole, their job is to teach a character about the effect that actions in the
past have on the present and the future. They also teach that the future can be changed by
making a moral change, and choosing to look after your fellow man. In this case, Scrooge
has to change his behaviour to all men, but specifically, to Bob Cratchit, his employee. So,
we could argue that Inspector Goole is most like Dickens’ “Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come”.

7
His audience would clearly see the parallel between this and the Birlings’ exploitation of
Eva.
Priestley emphasises this by using the same dramatic device as Dickens. Scrooge is given a
glimpse of a tragic future for Bob and his family, just as the Birlings are given a tragic future
for Eva and her baby. Unlike Scrooge, they ignore the warning, and it appears that this
causes Eva to die at the ending of the play.

Why Doesn’t Priestley Just Tell Us!?

If Priestley is going to write out such long stage directions, why doesn’t he just tell the
director, ‘it is important that the audience realise that The Inspector is a ghost from the
future”. After all, Dickens tells his reader this very clearly, calling him “The Ghost of
Christmas Yet to Come”.
Some possible reasons:
In this guide I’ll show you how Gerald, Eric and Sheila can be viewed in two ways, as morally
much worse than they appear.
This ambiguity seems to be important to Priestley. Yes, he wants to entertain us. But he also
wants his audience to keep thinking about these characters and their motives, because that
will then make the audience question their own motives and actions. It is therefore essential
for him to introduce ambiguities for each character – if they are simply black and white,
good or bad, we wouldn’t need to think about them once the play is over.
This is how he is trying to influence the future – he wants to change how his audience make
moral choices, and political choices, later on.
I would argue that this is the main point of all the puzzles in the play – to keep the audience
thinking days, weeks and years after they have experienced the play, as you will see later in
the guide.

How Ambiguity is used to Introduce the Characters

The Birlings are separated:
“the four Birling's and Gerald are seated at the table, with Arthur Birling at one end, his wife
at the other”.
This was not customary in Edwardian times. Although the host and his wife could choose to
sit separately, they often sat opposite each other at the centre.

• Priestley instead chooses to symbolise a great distance between Arthur Birling and
Sybil Birling.
• Possibly he feels that one is much guiltier in their treatment toward Eva – you will
decide later.

8
 • Possibly he wants to show that they are linked only by rank and position in society,
and not by love.
• Possibly he wants to show that they are surrounding their children, either
protectively, or as an attack, literally on their flanks.

Again, you will have to decide.

A contemporary audience would instinctively be on the lookout for signs of conflict between
them, and between the parents in one camp, and Eric and Sheila on the other. This
separation is obvious to a modern audience seeing the play, but even more obvious to
Priestley’s in 1945.

Power Relationships
Priestley also wants the director and actor to think very carefully about the power
relationships in the play. Which end is the head of the table? Normally this is quite clear in
etiquette – the male host sits at the end. His wife does not. This emphasises quite clearly
where status and power truly lie in a patriarchal society.
Priestley deliberately breaks this tradition by having two heads – Birling at one end, Mrs
Birling at the other. He might be suggesting that Sybil sees herself as superior to her
husband.
Or, he might be signalling that this moment, in 1912, symbolises the rise of female power,
as it coincides with the birth of the Suffragettes. We shall see that in 1945, women were
uppermost in Priestley’s mind, especially because they could all now vote, but in 1912, no
woman could.

Why Eric is the odd one out

This seating plan is also obviously an odd number, and the odd one out will be Eric. This only
works, however, if Sybil and her husband are at opposite ends – if she moves to the middle,
there are four in the middle, and Birling is in his proper place at the head of the table. If
Priestley staged it that way, we would not question his authority so quickly.
Eric becomes increasingly important in Act 1, and Priestley wants to make this inevitable
“Eric downstage and Sheila and Gerald seated upstage.” “Downstage” means that Eric is
closer to the audience than Sheila and Gerald, even though they are at the centre of most of
the conversation at the start.
This is because Priestley wants us to decide what Eric has to hide. The director is allowed to
choose whether we notice his drinking, and whether he is drunk. However, once he begins
to interrupt, Priestley is determined we must notice this, so he sits him at the front. In this
way he is already preparing us for the twist at the end of Act 2 where we find out that Eric is
a drunk and Eric is the father of Eva’s child.

9
10
Stage Directions about the Characters
A Character is a Construct
Ok, the most important thing to remember is that characters are never real people. They
are made or constructed. Examiners refer to them as “a construct”, and students who
understand this get the top grades.
But, English Professors and authors also see characters as “a construct”. This means that
every character is created for a reason, indeed for lots of reasons. All of those reasons will
involve influencing the reader or audience.
When you start asking, “How is the author trying to influence me?” you are becoming a
proper student of literature. You get even better when you ask, “How is the author trying to
influence people of the time?” as well.

Arthur Birling
What’s wrong with Birling?
Priestley wants us to question Birling’s authority, because he represents capitalism, not just
wealth. For example, Gerald’s family are in the same business, textile factory owners.
However, his wealth is inherited – his father knighted “Sir George Croft” and his mother
“Lady Croft`’. Priestley wants to criticise his level of society, which he does through Gerald.
But Priestley sees the capitalists, the “hard headed man of business”, as much more of a
social problem than the aristocracy, because there are more of them in 1945, and they
affect more working-class people through their low wages and working conditions.
Priestley questions capitalism itself when he questions Birling’s authority. Structurally, it is
why he chooses to start the play with Birling. He is showing that capitalism is the root cause,
the start, of Eva’s problem.
But, we shall see that capitalism is not the main cause. This is because Priestley believes that
capitalism can be made to work in moral ways, so that people still help each other. Perhaps
this is why he never joined the Labour Party. He does not want to destroy capitalism: he
wants to make it work for a much fairer society.

How Priestley Constructs Birling

Remember, each character is not a real person. They are a construct. They are made.
Examiners love you to use the phrase ‘a construct’, as in ‘Birling is a construct who
represents the dangers of capitalism’.
Birling “is…heavy-looking”. This helps us see Birling as a construct:

11
 1. It will work symbolically with his personification of ‘Greed’ as one of the Seven
Deadly Sins. This will also signify all business men, and the capitalist system are
greedy.
2. It will provide a contrast with The Inspector, who will have a “massive” appearance,
not in size, but in impact, suggesting that the working classes can match the power
of the ruling classes.
3. It can suggest that he is indulgent, self-satisfied, and slow. Slowing Birling down is
actually the most likely way an actor could convey heaviness, and we would not just
associate this with bad health, but also with stupidity. Priestley will emphasise this
with Birling’s predictions, whose dramatic irony will reveal him as utterly wrong.

He is also a “rather portentous”, which suggests he is full of self-importance and trying to

impress. We are therefore already critical of him at first sight, and also feel superior to him.
This is another way that Priestley questions the authority of the rich.
He has “fairly easy manners”, implying how happy and perhaps confident he is of getting the
knighthood he so craves, and how confident he is that Gerald will marry Sheila.
Priestley describes him as “but rather provincial in this speech.” Perhaps this suggests that
he should not be so pleased with himself, he is nouveau riche*, and therefore looked down
upon by those born into the upper classes. (*This was a phrase used to describe the wealthy
who had earned their wealth. The implication was that this sort of wealth was nowhere near
as desirable as that acquired through family inheritance, through breeding, through being
part of the nobility, perhaps like Gerald.)
Alternatively, it can also help with The Inspector’s message that we are all the same,
“members of one body”, and therefore class distinctions are an illusion. It might teach that
class distinctions are a damaging social construct which only have power because we choose
to believe in them.
Finally, Priestley also wants to contrast this with Birling’s wife.

Sybil Birling
“His wife is about fifty”. Priestley insists that Birling should be slightly older, “in his middle
fifties”. This pattern will be deliberately echoed in the relative ages of their daughter Sheila
and her older fiancé Gerald. This implies that the Birlings were once just like Sheila and
Gerald, which will be important when we ask ourselves at the end of the play if they have
truly learned The Inspector’s lesson. (If they share the same age gap as Arthur and Sybil,
perhaps they are more likely to marry, and perhaps Sheila is therefore less likely to live out
the lesson The Inspector teaches her).
What’s wrong with Sibyl Birling?

12
Sybil is “a rather cold woman and her husband's social superior”. This juxtaposition suggests
that Priestley believes being socially “superior” also makes a person “cold” and unfeeling
towards others. He wants to change this in his audience.
Another reason for this is to emphasise the division between husband and wife, so that
there is an element of conflict which matches the seating arrangement.
Another ambiguity is also deliberately placed in front of us. Did she marry Arthur because
she loved him, therefore ignoring his lower social status? This is a parallel with Gerald
choosing to marry Sheila, who has a lower social status and is “not good enough” for Gerald
in the eyes of his parents. After the end of the play, we ask if this parallel will continue, and
if Sheila will therefore marry Gerald.

Sheila Birling
What is wrong with Sheila?
“a pretty girl in her early twenties, very pleased with life and rather excited.”
We can see that at the start of the play Priestley wants us to see Sheila as a “girl”, rather
than a woman. This is surprising to a modern audience, especially as “early twenties”
implies an age of around 23.
He also seems to be a bit dismissive of her: telling us she is “excited” would tell us that she is
excited by the moment – she is going to be engaged tonight, and knows this because that is
what the dinner is for. However, the modifier, “rather” also implies criticism, as though
Priestley is suggesting she is too “excited”, and not in proper control of her emotions.
Sheila is a construct
He also links this directly to her class. It is her wealth and status which mean that she is
“very pleased with life”. This interestingly echoes the description of Birling, as “portentous”,
being very pleased with himself. At least at the start of the play she is very much like her
father who, we will see, is also excited about a probable Knighthood.
When we get to the end of the play you will have to decide if she has crossed a threshold
into womanhood, or whether she is still a “girl”, who will still follow her father’s wishes, and
marry Gerald, partly for his status.

Gerald Croft
What’s wrong with Gerald?
“Gerald croft is an attractive chap about thirty, rather too manly to be a dandy but very
much the well-bred young man-about-town.”
Gerald is described as “an attractive chap”. This is the same dismissive language he uses to
describe Sheila. Instead of being called a man, he is a “chap”. Perhaps Priestley is suggesting

13
that the upper classes are too privileged to face real life, and without the challenge of
making their way in their world, they can never be considered true men.
Alternatively, it may be looking at Gerald’s self-obsession and self-interest, and suggesting
that his inherited wealth prevents him from truly growing up. He never becomes a real man
in Priestley’s eyes because he doesn’t accept responsibility for his actions.
Gerald is a contradiction
Priestley also suggests he is vain, “rather too manly to be a dandy”. The flamboyance of the
word “dandy” suggests a man obsessed with his appearance. Whereas the “dandy” is
obsessed with his clothes, Gerald is much more obsessed with work and sex.
This expression also suggests that Priestley doesn’t just want us to dismiss Gerald. “Manly”
suggests we should also find things to admire in him. You may find this a bit of a problem –
how can Priestley want us to admire a man who we discover straight away has been
cheating on Sheila, who he loves and wants to marry? The answer, perhaps strangely, is that
Priestley simply saw this is a “manly” way to behave. Priestley had a number of affairs, and
even fathered a daughter with a friend’s wife:
“Priestley had a number of affairs and in later life he admitted he "enjoyed the physical
relations with the sexes … without the feelings of guilt which seems to disturb some of my
distinguished colleagues" (http://spartacus-educational.com/JPriestley.htm)
But, Priestley might also be troubled by his lack of guilt. He might describe Gerald as “too
manly”, because he is working too hard perhaps to be attractive to women.
Certainly it is his vanity that Sheila will pick up on when she reacts to his affair with Eva as
Daisy Renton. She accuses him of desiring to be flattered by Daisy’s worshipping of him.
“You were the wonderful fairy prince. You must have adored it, Gerald.”
He has the ability to act correctly in all sorts of circumstances, as Sybil observes when he
presents Sheila with her engagement ring, so that he is “very much the well-bred man about
town”. Being well bred does not just refer to his behaviour, but also to what Priestley’s
audience would call his breeding – the assumption that the upper classes were literally
more refined.
Gerald represents the upper classes who inherit their wealth
Because they only married from within their own class, they become ever more perfect with
each generation. This is what the word ‘breeding’ would have meant in 1945. It is literally
genetic engineering, without science intervening – social selection did it.
Priestley, as you will have gathered by now, wants to attack this view of the upper classes.
Again, he does this with his familiar technique of juxtaposition. Gerald is the “well-bred man
about town”, which implies that he frequents fashionable places: theatres, art galleries,
restaurants, or social events.
Gerald represents sexual exploitation

14
But, because the setting is “in Brumley, an industrial city in the north Midlands”, we
question this cosmopolitan interpretation of “man about town”. This isn’t London. Instead
of Shaftsbury Avenue, Gerald will frequent the Palace theatre, and indeed appears to go
there mainly for the bar and the women he will meet there. And these women are mainly
prostitutes. This “man about town” is searching for sex, rather than culture.
Priestley is already suggesting that Gerald is likely to be promiscuous (what today you would
call – but not in your essays! – a bit of player).
Remember that Gerald does not just represent himself, he is a construct. He represents the
other side of capitalism, those who have inherited their wealth for generations and
therefore feel entitled from birth.
Priestley suggests that all those with titles, the aristocracy, living on inherited wealth, are
like this – self-obsessed and immoral.
Perhaps Priestley wants us to dislike and admire Gerald at the same time. This would throw
a light on how society admires those with high social status, even though we know they
have done nothing to achieve that status, or to merit it. This is why Birling is so excited to
get a Knighthood. It means he has arrived in society. His huge wealth alone can’t do that.

Eric
What’s wrong with Eric?
“Eric is in his early twenties” just like Sheila. Priestley makes them the same age, perhaps so
that he can contrast the difference between them in how they have treated Eva. One
argument I will put forward later is that Priestley believes Eric’s treatment of Eva is far
worse than Sheila’s.
Another possibility is that Priestley wants his audience to consider that they are both
equally damaged by their upper-class upbringing. Sheila was too “excitable”, and Eric is
unbalanced by having two contradictory halves. He is “not quite at ease, half shy, half
assertive”.
He is not described as a “chap”, boy, or a man, where Gerald was both a “chap” and a man,
and Sheila was labelled a “girl”. This is curious. One possibility is that Priestley wants us to
decide for ourselves about Eric – a “man” will have learned his lessons, but a boy will not.
Because of his alcohol abuse, Eric is possibly the hardest character to judge. It may be that
Priestley wants us to think hardest about him. Remember, that’s why he insists that Eric
must be seated “upstage”.

15
You need to understand Capitalism and Socialism
Definition of Capitalism
“an economic system in which investment in and ownership of the means of production,
distribution, and exchange of wealth is made and maintained chiefly by private individuals
or corporations, especially as contrasted to cooperatively or state-owned means of wealth.”
Dictionary.com
What does it mean in plain English?
In a capitalist system, businesses make money for the people who own them. In 1912 and
even in 1945, these businesses were often owned by single families, which meant that most
of the country’s capital wealth was owned by a very small percentage of people. These are
represented by the Birlings and the Crofts (who you remember are constructs, created to
represent this).
Business owners are also shareholders. In a capitalist society, the rich buy shares in
business, or a corporation. When that business makes a profit, this money is paid out to the
shareholders, and is called a dividend.
The more shares you own, the more money you will receive through a dividend. So you can
see, in most capitalist economies, the rich get richer, as their capital (what they own, in
terms of money), earns more and more money through investment. In this way, the rich
also tend to own the most land, as this also generates more profit through farming or
building or rent.

What Does a Capitalist Society Look Like?

Why the play is still relevant to you today.
Britain’s economy is a capitalist one. Even today, according to The Independent in 2016:
“The richest 1 per cent of people in the UK own almost a quarter of the country’s
wealth, a new report has revealed.
The huge levels of inequality in the UK were revealed in a detailed assessment that
also showed the richest five per cent of people in the country own 44 per cent of all
wealth.”
People who support this capitalist system argue that in a capitalist economy everyone is
motivated to work harder, because they get more money this way. People who earn more
money, spend more money on goods and services which other people make and provide.
This means there are more jobs for people making the goods, or providing the services. This
means the whole of society benefits – everyone has the potential to make more money, and
so the standard of living keeps getting better.

16
It does not matter that the top 5% own nearly 50% of the wealth of the country, what
matters is that you, let’s say Jo or Joe Average, in the middle 50 th percent of the population,
have a lot more wealth than you would have in a socialist economy. Yes, they say, there
would be far fewer millionaires and billionaires in a socialist economy, but that level of
social equality is not much good if most people are poorer as a result.
Priestley argued against this in his play, in 1945. He would probably agree with this
quotation in the Independent article, “"Globally, the richest one percent own more wealth
than the rest of the world put together. This huge gap between rich and poor is
undermining economies, destabilising societies and holding back the fight against poverty."
Sally Copley, Oxfam’s Head of UK Policy Programmes and Campaigns.
What’s Inequality Like Now?
In The Guardian, Professor Dorling argues that this is the same level of inequality as we had
in Britain in 1940, "The last time the best-off took as big a share of all income as they do
today was in 1940, two years before the publication of the Beveridge Report, which became
the basis of the UK's welfare state after The Second World War." The Guardian, June 27 th,
2012.
What is Socialism?
“1. a theory or system of social organization that advocates the vesting of the ownership
and control of the means of production and distribution, of capital, land, etc., in the
community as a whole.
2. procedure or practice in accordance with this theory.”
(Dictionary.com)
What does it mean in plain English?
The government owns as much of big business as possible – transport, railways, car
manufacturing, house and road building, gas, electricity, telephones, coal, steel etc. The
profits from these businesses go to the government. The government makes sure workers
are paid fair wages, by paying them directly in these businesses.
But indirectly, everyone is paid, because the government spends all that they earn from
these businesses on looking after the people – health, education, and welfare are free, so
poverty is reduced. Essentials like water, electricity, gas, the telephone system, trains and
buses are owned by the government so that prices are kept low and everyone pays the
same for their services.
Although this means that there are still a lot of businesses not owned or run by the
government, in a socialist economy their profits are normally taxed at a higher rate. This
gives the government even more money to spend on social welfare, so everyone is looked
after. It makes for a fairer society, because the poor are less poor, and the rich are less rich.
Why didn’t society vote for socialism before 1945

17
Capitalists argue that much of this is inefficient. Yes, it does mean that everyone appears to
get a fair share. However, with any business run by the government, workers know that the
business will always stay afloat, in business. Consequently, they don’t have an incentive to
work more efficiently to make more profit. This makes the government-run businesses less
profitable. What’s the point of working harder or finding better ways to work, if none of the
profits are going to come to you in wages?
This could mean that the government gets less tax from business. This would mean that the
government gets less money to spend on services and the welfare state. Therefore,
capitalists claim, most people will be worse off. Even though there is equality of pay in
society, you make people more equal by making them poorer.
On the other hand, they argue, if the top 5% get very rich, that’s just proof that the system
is working and businesses are making large profits because they are so efficient.
Tricky to decide, isn’t it?
As we have seen, Priestley is a socialist.

18
Grade 9 Essay
How Does Priestley Show the Conflict Between the Younger and Older Generations?
The Inspector’s voice and views are a proxy for Priestley’s socialist message, that “we are all
one body” and “responsible for each other”. Sheila and Eric are made to learn this lesson,
that we must look after everyone, all the “John Smiths and Eva Smiths”, symbolising the
working classes.
Priestley creates these young characters in 1912 because they will have most power in this
capitalist society through their inheritance of wealth and status. They represent the ruling
classes of 1945.
Although Eric shares socialist views, “we try for higher profits, why shouldn’t they try for
higher wages”, Gerald disagrees and Priestley makes Gerald behave as “though nothing has
happened”. Therefore, Priestley questions whether the younger generation will actually
turn out like Gerald, rather than like Sheila and Eric.
Like Gerald, Birling worships profit. He even describes Sheila’s marriage to Gerald as a
business “alliance”. This is also why Mrs Birling suggests Sheila should accept Gerald’s
infidelity and should expect “men of business” to have affairs. Wealth and status are more
important than their children, so capitalism destroys their humanity.
Priestley shows Mrs Birling’s lack of humanity is caused by her love of status. Although
denying charity to Eva, and apparently losing her grandchild, she refuses to admit she did
“anything wrong”. For her the class barriers are too great, and “girls of that class” will never
be entitled to her sympathy or understanding.
In contrast, Birling appears to repent: “I would give thousands, yes thousands". However,
once Gerald convinces him it was all “a hoax”, he ridicules his own children, “the famous
younger generation” who “can’t take a joke”. Priestley symbolises the apparently huge
distance between the Birling parents and children.
In contrast, Eric and Sheila both reject their parents’ views, and will “always remember” The
Inspector’s teaching. Eric believes, “We did her in all right.” Sheila is scared of the
consequences of their refusal to learn, “And it frightens me.” Consequently, she ends her
engagement, saying it is “too soon” to accept Gerald, even though she will not find a better
economic match in this patriarchal society.
Gerald, however, feels little guilt, as The Inspector judged he “made her happy for a time”.
He arrogantly asks Sheila to take back the engagement ring. Surprisingly, Priestley doesn’t
make her refuse. This causes us to wonder if The Inspector’s lesson, though fully learned, will
be retained by the younger generation in the years to come.
We have seen Sheila move from vanity, getting Eva sacked because she was “pretty”, to
social responsibility, sympathising with working class girls “counting their pennies”. Eric
shifts from an alcoholic abuser, stealing from his father’s business, to being determined to
create a fairer society: “I agree with Sheila.”

19
In contrast, Birling’s arrogant belief that a man “has to look after his own business and
family”, doesn’t change, which summons the final phone call and a second death. The
audience will remember The Inspector’s last words, that they will “learn a lesson in fire and
blood and anguish”, reminding them that this capitalist viewpoint led to the tragedies of
both world wars.
Thus Priestley subtly portrays the younger generation, suggesting society did not change
between the wars. After 1912, Eric was probably influenced by his father. Sheila probably
accepted Gerald’s offer of marriage. Birling’s arrogance, represented by believing we “will
never be war with Germany”, leads to World War Two. The refusal to learn the lessons of
Eva’s death, leads to the second death, which is a metaphor for The Second World War. They
are a symbol of the ruling classes’ refusal to learn from war and social unrest.
But, Priestley’s contemporary audience is filled with adults in their fifties, the Geralds, Erics
and Sheilas who can create a socialist society. Priestley also directly addresses the “younger
generation” who have just fought the war, teaching “we are all of one body”. History shows
this “younger generation” created a socialist future, with Labour’s landslide victory in 1945.
659 words

• The words in bold are subject terminology.

• The words in italics are where I keep explaining Priestley’s purpose, using context
like an embedded quotation.

What, why didn’t you make it 700 words?

I spent just as long editing this essay as I did writing it. If I can make it this short now, I can
write less expertly in the exam, where under pressure I will write more words to make the
same points.
But I also train myself to be a much better writer, something that will repay me again and
again, for the whole of my life. Sure, it will also make it much easier for me to get top grades
at GCSE, but that’s a tiny benefit compared to the next 70 years, isn’t it? That’s why I teach
anyway. I hope it works for you.
What does the AQA mark scheme say?
1. Convincing
2. Critical analysis
3. Conceptualised
4. Exploration of context to author’s and contemporary readers’ perspectives
5. Give interpretation(s)
6. Response to the whole text
7. Analyse it as a play, and deal with the structure
8. Precise references
9. Analysis of writer’s methods
10. Subject terminology used judiciously
11. Exploration of effects of writer’s methods on reader

20
They basically mean this:
What you must do
1. Give more than one interpretation of the characters or events.
2. Make sure you write about Priestley’s viewpoint and ideas about his society at the
time, in 1945
3. Write about how the society of 1945 would respond to these ideas, characters and
events.
4. Write about the ending of the play, to show how characters have or haven’t changed
5. Write about the ending to show Priestley’s viewpoint.

When you do it, make sure you

1. Embed quotations all the time
2. Only use terminology if it helps explain an idea*

*You will notice that I have not named any verbs, adjectives, nouns, adverbs, because that is
just dumb. Naming parts of the sentence tells you nothing about the ideas in it, so the
examiner realises you are just sticking this in to use terminology, but it is not “judicious”.
Your teacher may think that the examiner wants this anyway. If so, ask them what would
have happened if they had used terminology in this way in their degree.
Better still, go back and look at the words in bold in the short essay. This is subject
terminology.
What does “subject terminology” mean?
The words a student of literature at university would use in nearly every literature essay.
You could argue that connectives fall under this category as well, if you want.
What does the Edexcel mark scheme say?

1. There is an assured personal response

2. Discerning choice of references to the text
3. You write in a critical style
4. You have perceptive interpretations
5. The understanding of relevant contexts is excellent (so, Priestley’s context, and
the different one of his audience).
6. Context is integrated convincingly into the response (like an embedded
quotation)

21
From: The Mr Salles Ultimate Guide to Macbeth
How to Use This Guide

Welcome to a world first! This is the first guide integrated with video and designed
around the principles of cognitive science: retrieval practice, spaced learning, interleaving,
elaboration, and dual coding.
For several years I’ve been showing teachers and their students how to get grades 7, 8 and 9
with my guides and YouTube videos. An astonishing 27% of viewers report going up 3 or
more grades from their mocks after using my videos.
But what if I could double that, so that 50% of students who bought my guide got Grade 7
or more? What does such a guide look like? It looks like this. For a start, it includes 19 Grade
9 essays!
7 Ways You Will Get Top Grades
1. Retrieval Practice.
a) That means you would see me teach a scene once in a video, while you take
notes next to the key quotations in the guide.
b) The second retrieval practice is reading the guide.
c) For the third retrieval, I include some short activities to help you get the
ideas into your own words.
d) The fourth is at the end of each Act, when you summarise the most
important quotations and ideas you want to remember from that Act.
e) The fifth is the end of the guide, where you have note taking sheets for the
key quotations for each character and theme for the whole play.
Because you have to think about what you have learned 5 times it will simply stay in
your memory. The exam will need no thinking time – boom, ideas will pop out onto your
page.
2. Spaced Practice. Don’t tackle all the activities above at once. Space them out over time. It
will just make you remember more, because your brain works that way.
3. Elaboration. The pictures you draw, and the boxed activities all help you find ways to
make sense of the information you’ve read, and find different ways to make it memorable.
4. Dual Coding. The pictures you draw build connections in your memory, so remembering
what you need in the exam is easy. Being taught twice, once in video form, and once in
writing, also helps you get the information in dual ways.
5. Explaining the Steps. When you read, you can see how the ideas build from Grade 6 to
grades 9 and beyond. You can choose to read the guide page by page, or you can read it the
first time just reading the Grade 6 paragraphs, the second time just reading Grade 7 , and
so on.

22
6. Model Essays. Each analysis of the scene builds to write an essay which will help you
write about the extract, link to other parts of the play, link to context and to Shakespeare’s
purpose. Each one is an essay that will get you 100% in the exam.
7. Interleaving. You are probably studying something different in class. If your teacher is
using this book and my videos, they should mix things up, so you aren’t studying Macbeth
every lesson. Mixing what you study in this way feels weird, but builds stronger memories.
What Gets You the Grades?
Grade 6
The 2019 Grade Boundaries for AQA were 98 out of 160 for a Grade 6 . This is 61.25%. Let’s
call it 62%.This is 18.6 marks out of 30 on the Shakespeare question. Let’s call it 19.
The skills for 19 out of 30 are:
AO1
Clear and explained, but not yet thoughtful and developed.
With effective quotations, but not yet integrated or embedded into your interpretation or
interpretations. (In other words, at Grade 6 they are still written as PEE paragraphs).
AO2
Clear explanation of Shakespeare’s methods, and how this affects the audience, but not
yet examining how this affects the audience’s interpretations of characters or themes. To
examine you would have to consider more than one interpretation.
Appropriate use of relevant subject terminology, but not yet using subject terminology
effectively (for example, naming it, but not saying why it is important).
AO3
Clear understanding of ideas, or perspectives, or contextual factors which would have
affected the audience of the time (Jacobean in the case of Macbeth). But not yet making
detailed links with more than one interpretation.
So, as you can see, Grade 6 is not so hard. You just have to make sure you get the basics
right, all the way through your essay.
The basics are:
1. Write a clear point of view about the question as your thesis.
2. Know the right quotations to back up your arguments.
3. Write about context, and link it to your interpretation.
4. Explain what methods Shakespeare is using, and how that would have made readers
of the time think about the character or theme.
5. Use the right subject terminology, without mistakes.

23
Grades 8 and 9
In the top band, where grades 8 and 9 are hiding, you need:
AO1
Critical, exploratory, conceptualised response to task and whole text. This simply means
writing about the whole play, especially the ending where characters and themes are
resolved. The ending is where we can work out Shakespeare’s intentions.
To be exploratory you need to write about more than one interpretation. To be
conceptualised you must show why one way of interpreting Shakespeare’s purpose is
better than another.
Judicious use of precise references to support interpretation(s). Pick the right quotations.
Job done in this guide!
AO2
Analysis of writer’s methods with subject terminology used judiciously. All the analysis
shows you what the right terminology is.
Exploration of effects of writer’s methods on reader. This is easy – every time you write
about Shakespeare’s purpose, you cover the effect he wants to have on the reader.
AO3
Exploration of ideas/perspectives/contextual factors. Again, having more than one
interpretation and linking to Shakespeare’s purpose always does this.
Shown by specific, detailed links between context/text/task. Linking the context to
Shakespeare’s purpose always pushes you towards the top grades.
So, what do you really have to do?
1. Write about Shakespeare’s purposes.
2. Have more than one way of looking at these. This is so easy for Macbeth, because
one audience is the king, who wants to be flattered, another is the nobles who might
want to remove or assassinate him, and another is the king who Shakespeare wants
to influence. And then obviously, it is written for the paying public who want to be
entertained. The marks just give themselves away!
3. Discuss the context when dealing with each purpose.
4. Base everything you write on quotations.
5. The only hard bit – be detailed – write 700 -1000 words. When you get to the end of
the guide you will know so much, that target will be easy, as you genuinely will not
have to think.

24
 What are the 3 main ideas you want to remember so far?

1.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
2.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
3.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________

A Note on Iambic Pentameter

Knowing this will help you write brilliantly about Shakespeare’s purpose and effect on the
reader.
Shakespeare gives his lines ten syllables. Each syllable is paired with another. In the iambic
form, the first syllable is not emphasised, but the second is. These two syllables are called a
foot. So, it is ‘pentameter’ because it has five (pent = five in Ancient Greek) feet. And as
each foot has two syllables, pentameter has ten syllables.
Ok, so what?
“The Prince of Cumberland! That is a step
On which I must fall down, or else o’erleap,
For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires;
Let not light see my black and deep desires”.
Shakespeare used it to show his actors how to deliver the lines, letting them know which
parts of words to emphasise. He also only gives iambic pentameter to his characters of
noble birth.
Some people believe it recreates the heartbeat, because is goes te – TUM – te – TUM – te
– TUM – te – TUM – te – Tum, which is the same sort of logic that says you use a comma
when you pause. Maybe, but you use most punctuation where you could pause, especially
full stops.
With meter, it’s similar. For example, this would also sound like a heartbeat: TUM – te –
TUM – te – TUM – te – TUM – te – Tum – te – . This meter is called trochaic, where the
emphasis comes on the first syllable.
Ok, so what? As Macbeth becomes ever more evil, after committing regicide, his lines often
become trochaic. Like this:
“Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing”

25
They usually reveal psychological issues the character is having, through guilt, lying,
becoming evil – etc. Focus on these changes, and you will easily get top grades.
The other change to the meter is to give lines more or less than the standard number of
feet, or syllables. These changes also indicate a psychological issue, where the character is
losing control, and so loses control of the pentameter.
At other times, two characters will share the iambic pentameter, one person speaking say
five iambs, and the other speaking the next five. Where the iambic pentameter is shared,
the characters are in agreement and harmony. When the iambic pentameter is disrupted,
they are out of agreement and harmony. Look out for these when Macbeth is speaking to
Lady Macbeth, Banquo and Macduff.

Summarise this in one brilliant sentence.

____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
Shakespeare Context
____________________________________________________________________________
Shakespeare’s Marriage
____________________________________________________________________________
Shakespeare married his wife, Anne Hathaway, when he was 18 years old. She was 26. She
____________________________________________________________________________
was also 3 months pregnant with his child.
____________________________________________________________________________
The Patriarchal Society of Elizabethan and Jacobean England
____________________________________________________________________________

Now,____________________________________________________________
let’s consider the subservient role of women in the patriarchal society of the day. Yes,
women were considered the property of their husbands by law, but what did that mean in
everyday life? Is it likely that the 17 or 18 year old Shakespeare seduced Anne, or is it more
likely that she took the initiative?
If Shakespeare Loved Anne
When we think this way, we can clearly see why he would write parts for clever, passionate,
powerful women, like Lady Macbeth. We might infer that he did not see women as weaker
or inferior beings, but men’s equal in many respects. And Anne herself would be an odd
choice for a highly intelligent, articulate teenager to marry, unless she too were also quick
witted and able to keep up with his agile mind.
Moreover, Shakespeare was born during the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, a symbol of
women’s power and intelligence. We can infer, if we choose, that Shakespeare’s female
leads are a celebration of their intelligence, rather than a warning to husbands that they
need to control their wives. In this reading, Lady Macbeth is not a sexist creation to prove
that women are manipulative and evil.
If Shakespeare Didn’t Love Anne

26
On the other hand, if we believe that Shakespeare’s marriage was forced on him, we might
argue that Lady Macbeth represents the manipulation of his wife. How likely is it that a 26
year old would get pregnant by accident? How desperate would she be for a baby and a
husband in an age where women’s status was determined entirely by who they marry? How
desperate would she be to have a child when the average life expectancy was 35, because
so many children died young?
We might choose to see the trajectory of Macbeth’s marriage, starting as equals with “my
dearest partner in greatness” to Macbeth’s unemotional reaction to her suicide, “she should
have died hereafter”, to mirror his own marriage.
Shakespeare’s resentment can be inferred from his will, “I gyve unto my wief my second
best bed with the furniture”, which many critics see as a deliberate insult to his wife.
The Value of Friendship in Shakespeare’s Life
Shakespeare’s first child was called Susanna, and his next children were twins, named Judith
and Hamnet. Both appear to have been named after close friends. Hamnet Sadler, a baker,
and his wife Judith who were both witness to his will. Shakespeare drew the will up aged
52, four weeks before he died. We can infer from this that Shakespeare believed strongly in
loyalty and friendship.
Viewed this way, Macbeth’s killing of Banquo is unforgiveable, and much more likely to
damage Macbeth than the much more socially damaging regicide of Duncan. This helps
explain why Macbeth doesn’t see Duncan’s ghost, he sees only Banquo’s ghost.
The Death of Shakespeare’s Son, Hamnet
Hamnet died at the age of 11, in 1596. Many scholars wonder what effect this had on
Shakespeare’s writing.
The tragedy of the play could still happen without any reference to their child’s death. We
all believe the tragedy begins with his first meeting with the witches. But if Shakespeare
wanted us to assume it was simply the influence of their evil, supernatural power, he would
have excluded his child’s death.
Introducing this death gives Macbeth and Lady Macbeth psychological reasons for their
desperate desires. Similarly, if Shakespeare simply wanted to portray Lady Macbeth as evil,
he would exclude the detail of her child’s death. We can clearly see how their grief is partly
responsible for both their tragedies. So then we can also speculate that this may reflect
Shakespeare’s own grief at the death of son, Hamnet.

27
 Draw an image in 30 seconds which will help you remember the main ideas.

Label it with 6 key words.

Was Shakespeare a Catholic?

There is a good deal of speculation that Shakespeare might have been Catholic. It was illegal
to worship as a Catholic in his lifetime, but Richard Davies, the Archdeacon of Lichfield, who
knew Shakespeare, wrote that Shakespeare was a Catholic. We might use this to look at the
plot of Macbeth. Shakespeare creates a ‘tyrant king’ which acts as a warning of the dangers
of tyranny and repression.
This explains Act IV Scene 3, which is usually heavily cut in performance (and possibly by
your teacher when you read the play!) Why was it so important to Shakespeare to have
Malcolm pretend to be worse than Macbeth? The whole scene is totally unnecessary to the
plot – we simply need to see Macduff’s reaction to his family’s death, which sets up his grief
and need for revenge.
Here’s some of what Malcolm pretends he will do as king:
“were I king,
I should cut off the nobles for their lands,
Desire his jewels and this other's house:
And my more-having would be as a sauce
To make me hunger more; that I should forge
Quarrels unjust against the good and loyal,
Destroying them for wealth.”
Macbeth was written to be performed at the court of King James. He is the main audience,
and then the nobles at court, not theatre goers. Therefore, we might see it as a lesson,
played out in front of King James, in an effort to persuade him not to persecute Catholic

28
families following The Gunpowder Plot. This scene is asking him not to take their lands and
titles, and not use the plot as an excuse to become a violent, Machiavellian king.
Next, we might ask how much self-interest there is in this advice, if many of Shakespeare’s
friends and some of his family are also Catholic.
*Learn this brilliant word. It means using clever, cunning but often dishonest methods that
deceive people so that you can win power or control.

Summarise this in one brilliant sentence.

____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
______________________________
Was Shakespeare Homosexual or Bisexual?
Many critics believe that the gender swapping roles of so many of his plays, such as Twelfth
Night, and his portrayal of powerful women, such as Lady Macbeth, and her demand,
“unsex me here”, can be explained with Shakespeare being homosexual.
Likewise, many of his sonnets were love poems written about, and apparently to, men. It is
impossible to know, but fun to speculate.
He himself had only three children, two of whom were twins. Contrast this to Shakespeare’s
mother, who had six children, with no twins. This suggests a lack of a sexual relationship
with Anne after their first years of marriage.
There were no more children once Shakespeare moved to London to write plays and
perform in them, and even though he must have returned frequently to Stratford, having
more children appears not to have been a priority for him.
Scholars have long puzzled over the significance of his will, in which he gave his
considerable property to his daughter, Susanna, mentioning Anne in the will only once: “I
gyve unto my wief my second best bed with the furniture”. We might argue that this
distance could be explained by his homosexuality, and this would also explain why he had
children so young, while still deciding on his sexual identity.
We might use this to look at the ultra-masculine behaviour of Macbeth as a warrior and see
masculinity itself as his hamartia. Lady Macbeth perceives masculinity to mean “cruelty”
and a lack of “remorse”. Both of these allow men to be incredibly single minded and
purposeful.
“unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full

29
 Of direst cruelty! …
Come to my woman's breasts,
And take my milk for gall”.
Giving this view of masculinity to Lady Macbeth could be a way for Shakespeare to highlight
what is wrong with his society’s view of how men should behave.
King James was Homosexual
If Shakespeare were homosexual, it might also explain the popularity of his plays with King
James. James became the patron of his acting company, so Shakespeare renamed them The
King’s Players, and they performed frequently at court.
King James financed the first English translation of The Bible, The King James Bible. In 1611,
the year of Shakespeare’s 46th birthday, Psalm 46 has “shake” as the 46th word, and “spear”
as the 46th word from the end. Many critics believe this is a coded birthday message to
Shakespeare.
Macbeth as a coded message to King James
This would certainly help us assume that Macbeth might also contain coded messages to
King James. Shakespeare might well have written the play to show the Court the dangers of
a king who was too masculine. Part of his motive might be to persuade the Court to accept
James, as an openly homosexual king.
Although homosexuality was frowned on in society, King James was quite open about his
homosexual affairs. In 1617 he told The House of Lords why he was honouring his lover with
the title Earl of Buckingham: “I, James, am neither a god nor an angel, but a man like any
other. Therefore I act like a man and confess to loving those dear to me more than other
men. You may be sure that I love the Earl of Buckingham more than anyone else, and more
than you who are here assembled. I wish to speak in my own behalf and not to have it
thought to be a defect, for Jesus Christ did the same, and therefore I cannot be blamed.
Christ had John, and I have George.”
Perhaps part of Shakespeare’s motive was to make society at Court more accepting of their
new king’s sexuality. Perhaps James’s patronage of Shakespeare was partly based on their
shared sexuality.

Summarise this in one brilliant sentence __________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
______________________________

30
Shakespeare the Businessman, rather than an Artist
Shakespeare was also a fantastic businessman. Poems were considered the most worthy
kind of literature, and no one had yet written a novel. Books were factual, mainly about
history.
So, Shakespeare did not write his plays as an artist, but as a businessman. When we think of
literature we imagine a writer drafting and redrafting until the final masterpiece is
published. Shakespeare didn’t have time for that – the public wanted new plays quickly. You
might think, Shakespeare is our most famous writer. Surely he was the most dedicated to
his art?
Yes, and no. He didn’t write down the text of his plays to hand on in his will to his family –
the plays were instead recreated from memory by actors in his company after
Shakespeare’s death. Yes, he did publish 18 in his lifetime, but they were not big earners.
He made much more money from his poetry, which were bound in book form. His plays
were simply printed on folded paper, called Folios, because they were not made to last.
We can use this information to argue that Shakespeare was incredibly interested in the
context of his time. His main impulse was probably to give the audience what they wanted.
Whatever the concerns of the people at the time, and their worries about the politics, war
and nobles of the time, would be quickly reflected in his plays.
Did Shakespeare Write to Make Money?
Several times a term, students will tell me that every writer’s purpose was to make money.
Usually this is not true. Writers tend to write about a passion, often working at other jobs to
make money.
But if we go back before the twentieth century, many writers did see themselves as ‘smiths’
and ‘wrights’, old Anglo Saxon words which mean maker and worker, rather than artists.
They were wordsmiths and playwrights.
In Shakespeare’s London, there were 20 theatres with a population of less than 200,000.
This is the size of my home town, Swindon, which has only one theatre! So theatre was 20
times more popular than it is now.
Now, a play at the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford will last around 4 months. In
Shakespeare’s time the play would be performed just once within two weeks. Then it would
be on a rotation with loads of other plays, so it might play once every two weeks for a
couple of months, or maybe a year.
No one knows for sure, but what is very clear is that plays were not an art form, they were
an entertainment and Shakespeare made his money by getting bums on seats. To do that,
he had to churn out new plays. So in Shakespeare’s case, his purpose really was to make
money.
This is still a pretty dumb answer in an essay though. The trick is to explain how what he
wrote or portrayed in the play would have appealed to the thoughts, imaginations, feelings,

31
ideas, fashions, concerns and politics at the time. This would then make sure customers paid
to come through the doors.
Big Themes in Macbeth
Christian Morality and the Nature of God
God created Adam and Eve in Eden. He forbade them “to eat of the fruit of the Tree of
Knowledge of Good and Evil.” Satan, in the form of a serpent, tempted Eve to eat the fruit.
She was filled with knowledge, and persuaded Adam to eat also.
Because of this, women are traditionally presented as temptresses, luring their men to do
things they know they shouldn’t do. (This is why Lady Macbeth persuades Macbeth to kill
Duncan). God punished Adam and Eve by banishing them from Eden. (This is why Macbeth
and Lady Macbeth never enjoy being king and queen - Shakespeare makes sure that they
are banished from “joy” and happiness).
Original sin
We are all marked by this crime of Adam and Eve against God. It is called Original sin. This
means we are all born evil, and must continually strive to be good. (That’s why Banquo tries
not to get involved in Macbeth’s plan, why The weird sisters don’t actually tell Macbeth to
kill anyone).
Fate and Free Will
God created Eden as an experiment in free will. Could Adam and Eve refuse to be tempted?
Could they choose to be good, using their own free will? The answer is no.
They freely chose to go against his command. However, he continually allows all men and
women to exercise free will for the rest of their lives. Only by choosing to live good lives,
and make moral choices, can they get back to the state of perfection they had in Eden, and
get into Heaven.
We can clearly see this idea of temptation and free will being played out in the choices the
Macbeths make about murder.
However, theatre and tragedy come to us from the Greeks, whose civilisation predated
Christianity. Greek Gods didn’t create a moral universe in which you would get to heaven
by being good. Instead, everyone died and went to the underworld, Hades.
Instead, Greek Gods demanded that you worship them with sacrifices, in order to stop the
Gods punishing you in some way with bad harvest, shipwreck, disease, etc. However, the
Gods decided on your fate – how and when you would die, and many of the events in your
life. In Greek tragedy a character will find out their fate from a prophecy. They try to avoid
their fate, but then whatever they do brings about that fate without them knowing it. They
can’t escape it. Similarly, as a tragic hero, Macbeth can’t escape his fate.

32
The Great Chain of Being
The Great Chain of Being was a way of keeping power with the rich, and stopping those
lower down the social ladder asking for more.
The idea was God sat at the top of this chain, then came angels, then the Pope, then kings
and queens, then the nobility in all their ranks, then the middle classes (people with wealth
but no title), tradesmen, and workers. Then women, then animals, with eagles and lions at
the top, down to through less impressive creatures to insects at the bottom.
In medieval times this meant that God decided on everyone’s ‘station’ or status in life, and
where you sat in the social hierarchy. It meant that kings and queens were appointed by
God, by “Divine Right”, so rebelling against a monarch was a sin against God.
But this also meant that if you were born into a poor family, well, that was pretty much the
way it was supposed to be, and you had to respect the lords and ladies who ruled over you.
Constant plagues and exploration of the new world in Elizabethan times meant this belief
was being challenged. Suddenly London expanded quite rapidly; it was filled with new
businesses, where men could now change their status. Shakespeare was one typical
example, starting as an actor, becoming the country’s most successful playwright, but also a
really successful businessman and property owner.
The idea of people becoming who they want to be, rather than who they are destined to be
by birth, is revolutionary, and it probably started in Elizabethan times.
It is no coincidence that Shakespeare invented the soliloquy at this time (although the
Greeks got there 2000 years before). Before that, in Britain, the idea that characters had
rich inner lives, and were powerful individuals never found its way on stage. But now that
many more people could succeed as individuals, it made sense to show this on stage.
The translation of the King James Bible was also revolutionary in this. Suddenly people were
able to read the Bible and understand its teaching themselves. They didn’t have to learn
Latin to do it, or depend on priests to explain it to them.
The other attack on the Great Chain of Being is that it was mainly a Catholic idea. Once
Henry the Eighth converted to Protestantism, and destroyed the monasteries, this ‘natural’
order looked less certain. The Pope disappeared from it straight away!
This of course led to persecution of Catholics, and to the gunpowder plot of 1605, which
wouldn’t just kill King James, but all the nobility in Parliament as well. This is (almost) the
first time that a plot against a king had not been led by other nobles, who thought that God
had chosen them to be king.

33
 Elaborate. How does this remind you of your own life, or the world today?

____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
The Role of Women in the Patriarchy
____________________________________________________________________________
(Patriarchy – a society controlled by men, in their own interests, so that women have
____________________________________________________________
limited rights and are subservient to males in the form of fathers, husbands, even brothers).
In Jacobean society, women were subservient to men. They were not even allowed to act
on stage, their parts being played by young men. In marriage, a woman was literally her
husband’s possession, and all that she owned became his. This remained true until the
1870s! With the rich, a father paid a dowry to a suitably rich husband. Marriage for love was
a romantic ideal largely ignored by wealthy families, who arranged marriages with other
wealthy families. It was therefore very common for rich men to have a mistress, women
they had actually chosen for themselves.
Women achieved their status through marriage, and the status of their husband. Within the
marriage, their status was maintained in the skill of managing the servants and staff of the
house, and often the budget. Women were not allowed to own property, unless their
husband died. But, as a widow, they were expected to remarry. Single women tended to live
with their parents, no matter how old they were. When their parents died, they would not
inherit unless she had no brothers.
Added to that, a woman was expected to remain a virgin until marriage. Once married, they
might expect to give birth every two years, with an average of 8 children. 30% of these
would die by the age of 15.
As you can see, in Jacobean England, women had few rights, and their main role was as
mothers.
When we study Shakespeare we can see the tension between what society expects from
the female characters, and what they want for themselves.
It is quite easy to see Shakespeare asking for women to have greater power and status in
his plays, attacking society’s beliefs.
It is also easy to argue the opposite! When we see Lady Macbeth’s tragic fate, we can argue
this is caused by Shakespeare’s beliefs, agreeing with the society he lives in, punishing
women for breaking the patriarchal rules.

34
How Might These Themes Work in the Thesis to an Essay?
Shakespeare presents Macbeth as a tragic hero in order to explore the self-destructive
nature of a patriarchal society, to serve as a warning to the nobility against the crime of
regicide, and flatter King James in to maintaining the social order without persecuting
Catholics.
Having more than one of these in your thesis will force you to argue more than one
viewpoint in your essay, and force the examiner to consider whether it is worth a Grade 7 .

Go back over this whole section and pick out the top 5 ideas you need to remember.

1.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
2.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
3.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
4.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
5.__________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________

35
 Act I, Scene 1

A desert place. [Thunder and lightning. Enter three Witches]

First Witch. When shall we three meet again

In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

Second Witch. When the hurlyburly's done,

When the battle's lost and won.5

Third Witch. That will be ere the set of sun.

First Witch. Where the place?

Second Witch. Upon the heath.

Third Witch. There to meet with Macbeth.

First Witch. I come, Graymalkin!10

Second Witch. Paddock calls.

Third Witch. Anon.

All. Fair is foul, and foul is fair:

Hover through the fog and filthy air.

[Exeunt]

Key Question

Why does Shakespeare begin the play with the weird sisters?

Grade 6 Shakespeare deliberately places the witches at the beginning in order to tap into
King James’s fascination with witchcraft, which all Jacobeans would have known about
following James’s publication of his book on witchcraft, Daemonologie.

They appear to be in control of the weather, asking when they will next meet, “In thunder,
lightning, or in rain?” This plays to King James’s belief that witches conjured a storm to try to
sink a ship he was travelling on, and could control the weather.

Grade 7

Apart from introducing this main theme of supernatural evil, Shakespeare also uses them
to introduce the idea of paradox and deception. Therefore the witches describe reality as
“Fair is foul, and foul is fair”, so that nothing is what it seems.

36
This prepares the ground for Macbeth looking like “the innocent flower” but being “the
serpent under’t”. It foreshadows the thane of Cawdor disguising that he is a “traitor”, so
Duncan never suspects him. It helps us realise that the witches’ prophecy that Macbeth will
be “king hereafter” can be both “fair” and “foul”, because it leads to regicide.
Shakespeare therefore creates a world which is untrustworthy and uncertain.

Grade 8

Macbeth, of course, is a play reacting to political events of the day. James is a foreign king,
who has just survived a daring and far reaching assassination attempt from what we would
now call religious extremists, a group of Catholic plotters. The idea that further cells of
plotters might exist all across London is only natural. Anyone could be a secret plotter, a
traitor. Added to that, Queen Elizabeth had no heir. Many nobles would view their claim to
the throne as no worse than James’, so that he was another “step [they] must o’erleap”,
which meant they would need to assassinate him.

So Shakespeare reflects all that uncertainty, and also tries to show a clear way forward,
through noble kingship restoring order after the cautionary tale of the tragic hero, Macbeth.
However, in doing so, Shakespeare might look at the fear of witchcraft as another
symptom of a society which is lurching towards paranoia rather than peace and prosperity.

Firstly, notice how he gives the witches a different meter to their lines:

“When the hurlyburly's done,

When the battle's lost and won.”

They are seven syllables long, and the first syllable is stress ed, so it is trochaic, rather than
iambic. They are trochaic tetrameter. This marks the witches as different from the other
characters. We can argue that the trochee is a sign of their evil. Shakespeare will use it to
show a character’s evil thoughts later in the play, when they switch to it from an iambic
meter.

Grade 9

Tracy Borman, writing for the BBC’s magazine, History Extra, quotes King James’s
Daemonologie:

“James’s beliefs had a dangerously misogynistic core. He grew up to scorn – even revile –
women... He took every opportunity to propound the view that they were far more likely
than men to succumb to witchcraft. “As that sex is frailer than man is, so is it easier to be
entrapped in these gross snares of the Devil,” he argued in Daemonologie, “as was
overwell proved to be true by the Serpent’s deceiving of Eve at the beginning which makes
him the friendlier with that sex since then.” He would later commission a new version of
the Bible in which all references to witches were rewritten in the female gender.”

We can easily see how Shakespeare uses this description of women in his creation of Lady
Macbeth, who uses the same imagery of the “Serpent” when persuading Macbeth to
murder. She will be shown to be “frailer” when she commits suicide through guilt and

37
madness. She will fear “hell” more than Macbeth because, as James would say, she is
trapped by the “snares of the Devil”.

In contrast, Queen Elizabeth had not punished witchcraft. Witches were only punished if
they had committed a crime, for example using witchcraft to murder someone. Under
James, a witch did not actually need to have harmed anyone – they could be executed
simply for being suspected of being a witch. For this reason, witchcraft was used as a reason
to execute witches at twice the rate in Scotland compared to England.

Write 3 sentences. Use the words highlighted in the notes (as these are subject
terminology).

___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________

38
Beyond Grade 9

This is important because it gives us evidence to suppose that Shakespeare himself would
have good reason not to believe in the power of witches and witchcraft. It gives us an
insight in to why he would feel the need to flatter King James by including witches, but also
why he might write a play in which the witches are a red herring, a false clue. The real
culprits here are Macbeth and Lady Macbeth, who choose to take actions on their own.

But the trochaic tetrameter the witches speak in also has a very childish rhythm.
Shakespeare adds to this with the constant repetition of “when”, the alliteration of “b” and
“l”. The simple rhyming couplets, the childlike, almost made up word “hurlyburly”, all
combine to suggest that the witches may not be as powerful as they seem and are in fact a
simple, childlike fear.

This motif of childlike fear is constantly picked up on in the play. Lady Macbeth will
complain to Macbeth that he is like a child, fearing a “painted devil”. Here, the sense of a
childlike world is invoked when Shakespeare ends the scene with “Hover through the fog
and filthy air.” This refers to the witches’ ability to fly. Spend a minute thinking about this –
none of the characters mention seeing the witches fly. In Shakespeare’s lifetime, you might
be very sceptical of anyone claiming to have seen women fly on their broomsticks. It is a
childlike idea, suited to story, rather than fact.

Another way Shakespeare makes belief in witches seem childlike is in the witches’
conversation with their familiars (animals believed to be the form taken by a demon).

First Witch. I come, Graymalkin!

Second Witch. Paddock calls.

These suggest that the witches are controlled by their demon familiars. But the audience
never hear them. Even more significantly, neither do the other witches – the second witch
has to explain that “Paddock” is calling her, because the first witch clearly cannot hear
“Paddock”.

Again, this raises the possibility that there are no such things, that these are simply figments
of the witches’ imaginations. Shakespeare will play with this idea repeatedly, when
Macbeth sees the “dagger of the mind” and the “horrible shadow” (Banquo’s ghost), and
Lady Macbeth will imagine the “damned spot” of blood she cannot remove from her hand.

Finally, it is worth noting that Shakespeare never names the witches as witches during the
play, but only ever refers to them as “the weird sisters”, which were the names for the
Norns or Fates in Norse mythology. Here Shakespeare again suggests that witchcraft is not
a real power, though fate might be. Macbeth’s tragedy is how he interferes with his fate,
rather than the weird sisters making him do anything.

39
Draw an image in 30 seconds which will help you remember the main ideas.

Label it with 6 key words.

Write 3 sentences. The first words of each one must be in this order. BECAUSE, BUT, SO.

____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

40
From: Mr Salles Analyses Jekyll and Hyde
Just Some of the Context
The Origins of the Novel
Gothic Fiction
Gothic fiction grew in popularity at the same time as Romantic poetry. These novels shared
many similarities: strange and unexplained events; buildings which had a presence or
persona, like a character; passionate and intense feelings; a rich or noble villain or anti-hero
and anxious characters.
The genre gradually became extreme and dramatic – my favourite plot description comes
from Professor John Mullan, “Matthew Lewis’s The Monk (1796), was an experiment in how
outrageous a Gothic novelist can be. After a parade of ghosts, demons and sexually inflamed
monks, it has a final guest appearance by Satan himself.” This theme of evil being embodied
by a Satanic character is one which Stevenson draws on.
In 1817, Jane Austin wrote a satire of the Gothic genre, Northanger Abbey. There are
elements of this satiric tradition carried on by Stevenson in his treatment of the violence in
his novel.
As if timed to bring something new to the genre, Frankenstein, written by Mary Shelley in
1818, introduced the idea of a double or doppelgänger, and this was picked up as a tradition
in future Gothic novels, which we can again trace in Jekyll’s creation of Hyde.
By the 1840s many of the uncanny elements and heightened emotions of the Gothic had
entered mainstream fiction. Some of the most famous novels – Jayne Eyre, Wuthering
Heights – are heavily influenced by it and both published in 1847.
The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is not just a Gothic novel. It’s title strongly alludes
to the conventions of detective fiction, which became popular in American fiction in the
1840s before gaining popularity in Britain in the 1860s. The Sherlock Holmes stories were
first published 6 years after Jekyll and Hyde, in 1891 and borrow the idea of the ignorant
narrator who, like Utterson, sees everything, and understands so little.

Victorian Statistics
In the 19th century London had become the largest city in the world, and had grown from
around 1 million in population in 1800 to over 6 million by 1900.
All the action in Jekyll and Hyde takes place in the centre of London, which had already been
well established in 1800, which is why the male characters represent the establishment, the
ruling classes.
London was also the centre of the British Empire, so it was full of immigrants. We get a
sense of the fear of foreign immigration in the description of Utterson’s trip to Hyde’s Soho
lodgings. Hyde himself is described as “swarthy”, as though part of his unnatural
appearance reminds the reader of immigrants from which we can infer an element of fear of
cultural change. This same fear is echoed by the reaction to Darwin’s theory of evolution
and the threat this makes to the dominant Christian culture.

41
Because houses were heated by coal or wood burning, London experienced terrible air
pollution which often resulted in orange, grey or black fog, which would often cause an
extra 700 Londoners to die each day. The crime rate would also rise, as criminals found it
easier to escape detection. Stevenson setting of the fog is not just a Gothic convention, but
a real fear Londoners faced.

Drug Use in Victorian England

Opium and cocaine could be bought at any chemist in London. Patients would take these as
medicines, as well as recreationally. It isn’t known how widespread this use was, but even
medicines given to children contained opiates.
By the time Stevenson was writing, other writers were including unflattering descriptions of
addicts, which implies that drug taking was becoming viewed differently, with the
beginnings of a view which saw drug addiction as a moral weakness, rather than an
addiction for which we should have sympathy.
At the time Stevenson was writing, however, the medical benefits were seen to far
outweigh the dangers of addiction, and it is widely assumed that Stevenson wrote this novel
while taking cocaine as a medicine.

Literacy in Victorian England

It is difficult for us to imagine now, when even an adult with the reading age of a ten year
old can read The Sun newspaper and understand every word in it, but we are living in a
golden age of literacy.
In 1840, 50% of brides could not write their own name, and neither could 35% of grooms.
For women, this represented a 10% improvement since 1800, while there had been no
improvement for men.
But by 1885, over 90% of men and women could read and write, and in 1900 over 95%
could do so. There are many explanations for this incredible revolution, but it also explains
why there are so many brilliant novels written in the 1900s – books are pretty much the
only game in town. Even the explosion in magazines was just another way to consume
books in smaller chunks, as novels were often serialised, and readers eagerly waited a week
for the next chapter.
We can also see that the group who benefited most were women. The other factor
dramatically increasing the number of female readers is the rise of the middle class. One
way of defining the Victorian middle class is any household which had a servant. Women
with servants had leisure time. Books were Hollywood, TV, YouTube, Amazon and Netflix all
rolled in to one, and the Victorian readers were the first in history to have the leisure time
for a huge number of the population to simply read.
But, just as modern audiences will binge watch through a series, Victorian readers would
binge read through a genre.

42
Stevenson was riding the crests of these waves, the established Gothic genre, the newly
popular Penny Dreadfuls, and the recent development of detective stories. But this also
means he was writing for a mass market he didn’t necessarily respect.
We get a strong sense in Jekyll and Hyde of the struggle Stevenson had in writing the story
he wanted to write, about the political and moral corruption of middle class men, and giving
the public what they want – a whodunit, with fear, violence and supernatural or uncanny
horror. This struggle is particularly strained in dealing with the readers’ Christian viewpoint,
while Stevenson is an atheist. We might also sense the struggle in his unflattering portrayal
of women, in particular the maid and her vicarious enjoyment of the murder of Sir Danvers
Carew, as a rejection of his female readers, or the controlling influence of his wife Fanny,
who burned his first draft of the novella!

Victorian Scandals
Victorian newspapers did not have to worry about a person’s right to privacy – such a law
did not exist. The desire to keep family and personal secrets was not seen as wrong, but a
natural way to protect the family. A Victorian reader would understand and applaud the
need for cover up, where our own modern audience would see it as hypocritical.
For this reason, Stevenson does not give any of the men families: they have no one to
protect but themselves. Their desire for secrecy is therefore more suspect and self-
interested.
The huge growth in newspapers coincided with the huge improvements in literacy. But it
also coincided with the changes in divorce law. Up until 1857, only the church could grant
divorce. In the preceding 200 years there had been only around 300 divorces in the country.
After this date, there were 1200 a year!
Another feature of the divorce law was that you had to be rich to pay for the court
proceedings. So, each divorce was the equivalent of a celebrity scandal. To make things
even more exciting for the newspapers, women couldn’t divorce men simply because they
were repeatedly unfaithful. There had to be special cruelty, or incest or bestiality. Well you
can imagine this made quite an impression in the newspapers.
There were also many famous newspaper stories associated with the theatre: actors
murdering each other, female actresses faking suicide, numerous affairs of course, drag
queens cited as love rivals, homosexual affairs, etc. This resonates when we learn that
Utterson forbids himself to return to the theatre, though he had much enjoyed its pleasures
before he learned to see them as sins.

43
Summary and Analysis of Each Chapter
The bold indicates grade 7-9 analysis.
Chapter 4: The Carew Murder Case
About one year later we witness the savage and apparently motiveless murder of Sir
Danvers Carew. Stevenson deliberately withholds any first-hand account, so that we cannot
really be sure why the murder happened. This is actually the central mystery of the novel,
because the answer to the other mystery – who is Hyde, and what does he have to do
with Jekyll – are fully answered at the end of the novella.
He places the witness, a maid, in the same position as the Victorian reader who enjoys the
sensationalism of news stories, Penny Dreadful books, and Gothic fiction. Consequently,
her narrative follows those sensationalist and Gothic conventions. It is very likely that
Stevenson does this to associate his readers’ interest in this kind of story with the
uneducated working classes. It is another way for him to peel back the mask of
respectability, and suggest to his middle class, respectable readers that they revel
vicariously in other people’s sins, just like Utterson appears to do, and a bit like Jekyll.
He implies that all his Victorian readers might well share Jekyll‘s desires, and would take a
similar advantage of the scientific ability to create a doppelgänger, an alter ego, to
experience all those forbidden pleasures without fear of society’s disapproval. ‘You like
this stuff, he seems to say, because if it weren’t for society’s rules and the fear of being
caught, it is exactly what you would be doing. You think you are socially and morally
superior to a mere maid? Think again!’
She describes Sir Danvers Carew as looking both beautiful and innocent. The way he steps
back when Edward Hyde becomes angry is probably intended to be comic, as though
Stevenson is amused at the thought of beating him to a pulp, which Hyde now does, for
the delightful shock and entertainment of Stevenson’s readers.
The improbability of Carew’s body bouncing up and down on the pavement while Hyde is
both standing on it and beating it with his cane also adds to the comedy. To the Victorian
reader, salacious and eager to hear details of the murder, this scene only points to Edward
Hyde’s evil savagery – it isn’t comic at all. To a more logical reader, the impossibility of
these simultaneous actions happening at the same time reveals Stevenson’s purpose, to
ridicule this interest in violence and crime. Perhaps he is also pointing out that such
random attacks, without any motive, are so rare as to be entirely fictitious – they only
exist in books.
Once we realise this, Stevenson asked us to consider what the real motive might have
been. He drops several clues, but refuses to help us solve it.
Clue number one:
Sir Danvers Carew is out walking near the Houses of Parliament, where he works, yet the
police have assumed he doesn’t know where to post a letter: unlikely. Much more likely
that he was out walking with a different purpose.
Clue number two:

44
The letter is addressed to Gabriel Utterson. Why? What confidential matter might Sir
Danvers want the lawyer to keep secret? Utterson refuses to tell us, and so we are left
with the coincidence that the one man Utterson is obsessed about, Edward Hyde, has
chosen to kill only once, and to pick the one man brandishing a letter addressed to
Utterson. What might his motives be? Jekyll refuses to tell Utterson what the motives are
when he writes his confession. Instead he says that Hyde had no motive at all, he simply
saw an opportunity to murder someone, and excitedly took it.
This is entirely unlikely, given his night-time travels, through the fogs of London. He could
easily have murdered dozens of people without choosing a bright night under the light of
the silvery moon. There are any number of back alleys in which he could murder someone
in complete darkness, with no available witnesses. Instead he chooses an open street,
with great visibility, opposite a house where a maid is sitting at a window.
Instead, it is far, far more likely that something was said by Sir Danvers which enraged
Hyde. But Stevenson refuses to tell us what it is – only that a conversation took place.
Clue number three:
The maid recognises Edward Hyde as a visitor to her master. This strongly suggests a
connection between Hyde’s desire to commit sins and the master of the house. After all,
the whole point of Hyde’s existence is to seek his illegal or immoral pleasure: Hyde is here
on purpose. As for Carew, let’s face it, who tries to post a letter at nearly midnight? Which
MP couldn’t simply ask his butler to do it for him? In fact, Utterson lives just a few
hundred meters south of the Houses of Parliament, at Gaunt Street. It would be just as
easy to deliver the letter to Utterson by hand!
On the other hand why might an older man be out cruising “in a very pretty manner“ in
the middle of the night? Why might he stop the young man and proposition him in some
way? Why might that young man suddenly decide to beat him to death?
The implication is that Hyde is enraged by the older man propositioning him for sex, or
moved to violence when he discovers Carew is an MP and represents the repressive laws
which prohibit the expression of his sexual desires, or is overcome at discovering a
connection to Utterson or it is just entirely both a random encounter and a motiveless
crime. Which one seems more likely?
When we consider that the law criminalising homosexuality was written in the same year
as the novel, 1885, we can see a direct connection between the two. Stevenson attacks
the law by having one of its creators killed!
This also gives Jekyll a motive – he has had to create an alter ego, Hyde, specifically
because his homosexual desires are illegal. And now he has met an MP who not only
made that law, but also has done so while being homosexual himself. He is therefore
killed for his hypocrisy.
The police come to Utterson because the letter Carew was carrying was addressed to him,
and they would like him to identify the dead body. Utterson still has Edward Hyde’s address,
and so takes the police immediately to Soho, where they discover Hyde has left. They do
find the other half of the murder weapon, a cane given to Henry Jekyll by Utterson.

45
Another coincidence links Utterson to the murder, and also links Utterson to Hyde in
Jekyll’s mind: symbolically, he has given Hyde Utterson’s gift.
What is Jekyll’s reason for linking Hyde with Utterson? Does he believe that Utterson’s
desires are the same as Hyde’s desires?
And why does Stevenson decide that all roads should lead back to Utterson? There is,
after all, no need in the plot to give Hyde this murder weapon – it could imply have been a
cane bought by Jekyll himself.
Instead, this is another clue. Stevenson refuses to tell us what it means. You can come up
with your own solution – for me, the logical explanation is that Jekyll understands
Utterson’s repressed homosexual desires. He has created Hyde in order to live out his own
homosexual desires, so that he no longer has to repress them or hide them.
The police also find the burnt remains of Hyde’s cheque-book, and assume that he will need
to visit the bank in order to finance his escape. They stake out the bank, but Hyde never
appears (because, as we will later discover, he has simply transformed back into Jekyll, who
has no intention of returning to the form of Hyde.)

46
Top Grade Student Essay
Notice how well she embeds quotations into sentences. This is the easiest way to get into
grade 7.
Edward Hyde Essay
It is a good idea, even if your exam board bases the question around an extract, to practise
writing revision essays as proper essays, just considering the novel as a whole.
How does Stevenson present Mr Hyde as a frightening character?
Stevenson presents Hyde as a frightening character in several ways. The language used to
describe Hyde portrays him as fundamentally ‘evil’ and ‘unhuman’. Stevenson also uses
contrast throughout the novella, emphasising Hyde’s ‘savage’ nature. Most prominently, a
key motif throughout is the duality of man, represented by Hyde being part of Jekyll. This
makes Hyde even more frightening as Stevenson reminds the readers that ‘evil’ is a part of
all of us.
When Utterson first comes face to face with Hyde, he uses sibilance to describe Hyde’s
laugh as he ‘snarled…a savage laugh’. This sibilance implies Hyde’s sinister nature. The word
‘savage’ further emphasises Hyde’s threatening persona and portrays Hyde as uncivilised.
Throughout this extract, Stevenson refers to Mr Utterson most often, as ‘the lawyer’.
Lawyers were well respected men and the height of sophistication. By referring to Utterson
as “the Lawyer”, he creates a sharp contrast with Hyde, who ‘gave an impression of
deformity’. This further portrays Hyde as an outsider, someone who does not conform to
the rules of society, which would have been particularly frightening to Victorian gentlemen
at the time.
Furthermore, Utterson suggests Hyde’s darkness is more deep-rooted than the ‘flush of
anger’ or the ‘savage laugh’. He describes Hyde’s face bearing ‘Satan’s signature’. This
reference to the devil implies Hyde’s innate evil. However, the signature which is later
associated with Hyde is recognised as forged by Dr Jekyll. As Jekyll later explains, the only
physical aspect Hyde retains from Jekyll is ‘my own hand’, his handwriting. Therefore,
‘Satan’s signature’ is that of Dr Jekyll’s. Perhaps Stevenson is suggesting that Jekyll too is
truly ‘evil’, as he creates a ‘creature’ who he is a ‘rare luxury’, carrying out his ‘secret
pleasures’.
These ‘pleasures’ are often uncivilised and sinful. During the rising action in the novella,
Hyde performs his most sinful act yet, he murders. The account of the murder is delivered
to us by the maid who describes the victim as full of ‘old-world kindness’ and the murderer
as a ‘madman…with ape-like fury’. This ‘old-world kindness’ highlights the innocence of the
victim and subsequently emphasises Hyde’s frightening character and the monstrosity of his
cruel act. The reference to ‘ape-like’ is consistent with the ‘creature’ which Hyde is often
referred to as. It also suggests that he is not as evolved as his upper-class counterpart, Dr
Jekyll. In fact, Victorian upper-class gentlemen often believed that they were more evolved
than the rest of society. This reference to Hyde as ‘ape-like’ supports the common
misconception, made by the Upper-class gentlemen, that the lower classes and those who
commit crime, are less evolved.

47
After the murder, Hyde returns to his ‘dark and dingy’ residence in Soho. Not only does
Stevenson use alliteration to accentuate the darkness of Hyde’s house, reflecting his ‘dark’
character, he also deliberately notes that Hyde resides in Soho. In the 1800s, Soho was
associated with poverty and immorality. Thus, for people reading the novella at the time it
was published, this association with the immoral Soho, would have portrayed Hyde as even
more frightening.
Ultimately, Hyde is most frightening because Stevenson reminds us that evil resides in all of
us, just as Hyde resides in Jekyll. Jekyll’s biggest revelation, and the one that encourages him
to create Hyde, is the belief that ‘man is not truly one, but two’. This suggests the duality of
man, the belief that man is both good and evil.
In Jekyll’s letter, he creates the image of an internal ‘war’ describing his ‘two natures that
contended on the field’. The ‘field’ implies a battlefield in which no man shall prosper.
Although both sides of Jekyll technically die simultaneously, Jekyll eventually succumbs to
Hyde’s will and brings his own ‘unhappy life…to an end’.
Hyde would then be free to act ‘centred on self’, to think about no others and do only what
pleases him. Stevenson is suggesting that as we let our ‘devil(s)’ grow, we lose control of
our ‘gentle’ nature and submit to the temptations of selfish ‘pleasures’. This is what makes
Hyde particularly frightening, the suggestion that there is a Hyde in all of us, that we too can
succumb to our innate immoral drives.
In conclusion, Stevenson presents Hyde as a particularly frightening individual through using
contrasting language. Not only is there a contrast between the victim and the murderer
(Hyde) but the most obvious contrast is between Hyde and Jekyll. Furthermore, Hyde’s
actions are unlawful and do not conform to the Upper-class circles he is surrounded by.
Perhaps most notably, Hyde is particularly frightening because he represents the evil part of
man, which Stevenson suggests dwells in even the most respected of individuals.
776 Words

Grades 7, 8 and 9
AO1
1. A well-structured argument which begins with a thesis.
2. Each paragraph is ordered to build the argument to prove your thesis.
3. Explores at least two interpretations of the character or the author’s purpose.
4. You pick really good evidence, or quotations, to back up your argument or
interpretations.
5. You write about the full task, which always includes the ending of the text.

AO2
1. Your interpretations of quotations look at individual words and phrases.
2. You sometimes find more than one interpretation of the same quotation.
3. You interpret how the form of the text shapes the way the author wants readers to
understand it.

48
 4. You interpret how the structure of the text shapes the way the author wants readers
to understand it.
5. You use just the right terminology a student of literature needs to explain ideas.

AO3
1. You write about more than one interpretation. So your thesis argues why one
interpretation is better than another.
2. You use details from the author’s life, or society, or literature at the time to back up
your interpretation.
3. Your conclusion sums up why you have picked one interpretation as more convincing
than another. It shows why your thesis is correct.

Student Reflection

I think my understanding and knowledge of how to answer a question to meet exam criteria
has developed significantly. Whilst writing this essay, I had in mind the importance of
commenting on structure, purpose and context.

Although I think I struggled with commenting on structure, I did succeed in combing context
into my answer and noting the author’s purpose/effect on the reader. I think I have gotten
significantly more confident in writing these answers than I was when writing the ‘Lord of
the Flies’ essay. I am now able to complete an essay in less time also, just as I would be
asked to do in the exam.

Additionally, since the beginning of the course I think my use of literary terms has improved;
I would have not even considered using terms like ‘novella’ or ‘motif’ in an essay before.

You can see from this self-assessment, that I think it is the best way to improve in your
essays.

Examiner’s Comments: Your Turn

I’m not going to write these for you in the exam, so this is a really useful essay for you to
practise on. Use the mark scheme above to work out how to grade the essay. It will certainly
get into the top band.

Find which bullet points are done less well. If you can mark it, you can write an even better
essay, and nail these skills in the exam.

You should notice that this student has not read my guide, and has not been taught this text
by me. This means she includes nothing about Stevenson’s dual purpose, or his atheism. She
treats the novel entirely at face value, as a Christian allegory promoting good and
challenging evil in the English upper classes.

The good news is that you can get a top grade doing that. The even better news is that you
can see how including the ideas from this guide are going to blow the examiner away, and
suggest you have a far deeper understanding of the novel than a normal top-grade student!

49
From: The Mr Salles Guide to Literature

The 19th Century

Charles Dickens (1812 – 1870)

Charles Dickens was a campaigning writer, who wanted to change his society.
Yes, he earned his living as a writer, and obviously he specialised in giving his readers what
they wanted. He relished being an entertainer, and sold out tours of England, Scotland,
Ireland and America, giving dramatic readings from his books.
But he was also much more ambitious than that. His childhood caused him to become a
campaigner for the rights of the poor, and of children who were often put to work at a very
young age.
A Christmas Carol and Great Expectations both deal with the threat of poverty, the
responsibilities of the rich towards the poor, and the thin membrane of luck which often
separates those with wealth from those who have lost it.
Charles Dickens was born in 1812, and till the age of 9 grew up on the coast of Kent, just like
Pip in Great Expectations. Like hundreds of thousands of others, his family then moved to
London.
Dickens’ father, John, amassed large debts which he couldn’t repay. In the early 1800s this
meant that he was sent to debtor’s prison when Dickens was 12. John’s family, his wife and
7 children, were forced to live in prison with him.
Charles was sent out to earn money to keep them, working as a child labourer in a tanning
warehouse. Here he was constantly exposed to dangerous chemicals, tar, and the terrible
smells for which the tanning process was famous. Although this lasted only 3 months, he
saw first-hand what child labour did to his fellow labourers, and he saw how quickly a
family’s fortunes can change.
We can see how Dickens’ yearning for a better life is reflected by Pip and his dream of being
a gentleman. Similarly, we can see why he is so keen for Scrooge to help the Cratchit family,
who are close to being destitute.
He worked his way up, beginning working life as a law clerk, then became a court reporter.
During this time he wrote his first novel, which was published when he was 25.
He wrote A Christmas Carol in 1843 to draw readers’ attention to the terrible hardships of
the urban poor. More than that, he wanted them to feel responsible. For this reason, he
begins the novel with a dying woman starving on Scrooge’s steps, surrounded by the ghosts
of businessmen. Dickens suggests really clearly how the poor are kept poor by the rich who
exploit them.
A Christmas Carol
Charles Dickens wrote this novel quickly.
It was published for Christmas, on the 19th of December 1843, and was written to earn
money. Dickens had spent too much money on his tour of America in 1842. He wrote it in

50
the tradition of the Christian Morality Play. For centuries these plays taught the Bible’s
lessons to the majority of the population, because they could not read or write.
In Dickens’ time reading had arguably become the number one leisure activity. So he
updated the traditions of the Morality Play. He took the idea of characters representing
Christian virtues and sins, and adapted it. He wanted to create characters who had social
virtues and sins.
So, Scrooge represents all that is wrong with Victorian society:
1. The rich and middle class believing that the poor deserve to be poor, because they
are lazy and immoral.
2. The middle classes believing that prison and the workhouse are enough help to
discourage the poor from being lazy and immoral, and encourage them to get paid
work.
3. Their belief that consequently those with money don’t have any responsibility to
those without money. Therefore the wealthy can simply spend their money on
themselves and their family, and not worry about the inequality of the huge number
of poor people in society.
4. The Cratchitts represent the hard working poor, and Tiny Tim represents the
disabled and disadvantaged.
The three spirit guides or ghosts represent:
The Ghost of Christmas Past: memory, innocence, youth, optimism, the idea of cause and
effect
The Ghost of Christmas Present: charity, empathy and the Christmas spirit
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: the consequences of our actions, moral growth, the
chance to change the future, legacy after death. It also suggests divine punishment and the
notion of memento mori. This expression means “remember you will die”, and used in
Medieval times to remind people to give up sinful pleasures like greed and vanity, in order
to prepare for heaven.
Dickens doesn’t push a heavy Christian message. Instead he uses social institutions like
family and Christmas to focus on the human aspect of society. Christmas is so important
because it changes how people behave. The problem with simply being Christian and going
to church means that everyone can feel they are a good person so long as they pray, go to
church and avoid breaking any of the commandments. The rich Christian can get richer, and
the poor Christian can pray for help that doesn’t come.
So Dickens uses the traditions of Christmas, the family get together, and above all the idea
of giving, as a way to suggests that this is how we should all behave as often as possible, not
just at Christmas.
The “Ghost Story for Christmas”.
Ghost Story for Christmas was the subtitle of the novel. The ghost story is probably one of
the earliest genres of story told by our ancestors. It goes hand in hand with the belief in a
soul, an afterlife and gods, which predate any existing religion.

51
Dickens is also writing a ghost story, to be told around the fire. The fire is a safe haven at
which to gather and frighten young children with tales of the supernatural.
Christians refer to beliefs and religions which predate Christianity as pagan. Interestingly, by
focusing on the ghost story, Dickens is tapping in to our pagan past. Christmas itself was a
pagan festival celebrated on the longest night of the year, the Winter Solstice, on the 21 st of
December. Prince Albert, in 1841, introduced the German tradition of a Christmas tree to
Britain. This of course is a pagan symbol.
The original illustrations which Dickens commissioned and paid for showed the ghosts as
ancient, pagan figures. Why did Dickens go out of his way to make his story remind his
readers of a time before Christianity?
• Perhaps it was to suggest that Christian belief is not enough, we have to become
better people.
• Perhaps it was to suggest that being human has always meant looking after our
fellow man, rather than exploiting them.
• Perhaps it indicates his own dissatisfaction with the hypocrisy of Christian belief,
where a ‘good’ Christian can do nothing to help the poor.
• Perhaps he saw Christianity as only a story: it is much harder to ignore the hardships
of the poor if you believe there is no heaven, no afterlife, and only this life, here and
now.
Childhood
We might argue that Tiny Tim is at the centre of this book. Without Tiny Tim, would Scrooge
have been persuaded to change?
Dickens sees childhood as hugely important. His own poverty as a child, you have seen, had
a huge influence on him. Children are also a great force of hope. Children do change the
future, and Dickens’ own life story proves that better than most.
We can definitely argue that Scrooge changes once he sees the world through a child’s eyes.
Dickens himself made sure that his children enjoyed wonderful Christmases.
Christmas celebrates the birth of a child. Dickens may also have had in mind Jesus’s words in
the Gospel of Matthew, “Except ye … become as little children, ye shall not enter into the
kingdom of heaven”. Only by seeing the world from a child’s eyes, with their view of fair,
and unfair, can we create a fair society. We might call this a heaven on earth.
So many of Dickens' novels: Oliver Twist, Nicholas Nickleby, Great Expectations, Hard
Times focus on children. We can infer that two reasons for this is his desire to create a fairer
society, and his desire to create a better future.
Why did childhood matter so much to Dickens?
Well, let’s take a look at how society treated children in his day. The industrial revolution
had forced families into cities, and large families forced their children into labour.
Children working long hours in fields were tired, but well fed, exercised and fit. In cities,
they lived in terrible conditions, with dangerous sanitation, pollution, coal smoke, smog and
dust, and worked indoors, starved of sunlight.

52
In 1844, just after A Christmas Carol was published, the 1844 Factories Act decided to make
children’s lives much better. Children aged 9 to 13 were now protected. They could only be
made to work 6 days a week, instead of 7.
And they only had to work 9 hours a day.
Now you can see why Dickens felt society had to change.

The Structure of A Christmas Carol

A Christmas Carol is organised into five “staves”, the five lines on which musical notes are
written in order to show their pitch. This suggests that Dickens wanted his story to be
uplifting and light, like a carol.
We might look at his publication date at Christmas to be a smart marketing move, and a bit
cynical – exploiting his readers for money while at the same time asking them to give money
to the poor.
But not so fast young reader! Dickens insisted on really high-quality printing, binding and
illustrations. He demanded ‘Brown-salmon fine-ribbed cloth, blocked in blind and gold on
front; in gold on the spine … all edges gilt.’ And then he kept the price down, so there was
not much profit per book. Why?
Dickens Puts His Money Where his Mouth Is
An obvious conclusion is that it was just as important for him to sell books in order to
change society. So, he made them look like very desirable items – they would have looked
and felt lovely to a reading public. And then, relative to the book’s quality as an object,
never mind the story itself, the book would have been seen as really good value.
You have to admire that! I certainly do, and it is why I write my guides in much more detail
than my competitors, yet set a low price. Ok, I’m not saving the poor. But I am trying to give
you a much higher GCSE grade and, I hope for many of you, a real enjoyment of literature
which isn’t just about exams.
He also wanted the cost to mean something. The book sold for five shillings. This is why he
decides that Bob Cratchitt is only paid fifteen shillings a week. Dickens wants the reader to
be able to handle this easy multiplication: ‘Bob Cratchitt has to feed and look after his large
family, with a full time job, which pays him only enough to buy three copies of this book, the
book that you are reading, dear reader, costing five shillings which are little to you, but the
difference between life and death to a poor, working family.’
What else is a stave?
Dickens’ readers would also be familiar the other meanings of stave. Did Dickens do this
deliberately? Well, yes! He doesn’t use this structure in any of his other novels. He could
just as easily have called the chapters ‘verses’ if he wanted us to make the direct link with
singing a carol.
But he didn’t. Let’s imagine why.
1. A stave is post or support in a building – in other words it is used to build something.
What does Dickens want his readers to build? That’s right, a better future, a better
society.

53
2. To ‘stave in’ is a verb, meaning to break, break in or destroy. What might Dickens
want to break? His readers’ perception of the poor? His readers’ attitude to social
responsibility? The fate of young children like Tiny Tim, or like himself when his
father was in imprisoned? You decide.
3. To ‘stave off’ is a verb, meaning to ward off, or prevent. Did Dickens want to prevent
poverty, ward off premature death and suffering, prevent the worst effects of being
disabled?

You know he did.

54
 How To Write About Context At Every Grade

Charles Dickens: A Christmas Carol

Sample Exam Question

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come has taken Scrooge to see a dead body which Scrooge
does not realise is his own.
“He lay, in the dark empty house, with not a man, a woman, or a child, to say that he was
kind to me in this or that, and for the memory of one kind word I will be kind to him. A cat
was tearing at the door, and there was a sound of gnawing rats beneath the hearth-stone.
What they wanted in the room of death, and why they were so restless and disturbed,
Scrooge did not dare to think.
“Spirit!” he said, “this is a fearful place. In leaving it, I shall not leave its lesson, trust me. Let
us go!”
Still the Ghost pointed with an unmoved finger to the head.
“I understand you,” Scrooge returned, “and I would do it, if I could. But I have not the power,
Spirit. I have not the power.”
Again it seemed to look upon him.
“If there is any person in the town, who feels emotion caused by this man’s death,” said
Scrooge quite agonised, “show that person to me, Spirit, I beseech you!”
The Phantom spread its dark robe before him for a moment, like a wing; and withdrawing it,
revealed a room by daylight, where a mother and her children were.
She was expecting some one, and with anxious eagerness; for she walked up and down the
room; started at every sound; looked out from the window; glanced at the clock; tried, but in
vain, to work with her needle; and could hardly bear the voices of the children in their play.
At length the long-expected knock was heard. She hurried to the door, and met her husband;
a man whose face was careworn and depressed, though he was young. There was a
remarkable expression in it now; a kind of serious delight of which he felt ashamed, and
which he struggled to repress.
He sat down to the dinner that had been hoarding for him by the fire; and when she asked
him faintly what news (which was not until after a long silence), he appeared embarrassed
how to answer.
“Is it good?” she said, “or bad?”—to help him.
“Bad,” he answered.
“We are quite ruined?”
“No. There is hope yet, Caroline.”

55
“If he relents,” she said, amazed, “there is! Nothing is past hope, if such a miracle has
happened.”
“He is past relenting,” said her husband. “He is dead.”
She was a mild and patient creature if her face spoke truth; but she was thankful in her soul
to hear it, and she said so, with clasped hands. She prayed forgiveness the next moment, and
was sorry; but the first was the emotion of her heart.”

Question
Starting with this extract, explore how Dickens presents Scrooge’s changing beliefs
in A Christmas Carol.

(Remember, the examiners are trying to be kind to you by getting you to start with the
extract. They want you to be able to find quotations and start scoring marks. This is why
they instruct you: “starting with this extract”.
However, the mark scheme doesn’t care where you start, or how much you write about the
extract compared to the book.
Many students at grades 3 and 4, even 5, struggle to start writing using the extract. If that is
you, it is a natural reaction. Instead, start writing about the rest of the novel, and then
compare to the extract later.)
Let’s revise for this using the published mark scheme.
The Indicative Content might say:
AO1
• Scrooge’s fear of the phantom, but determination to follow him in order to learn his
lesson
• Scrooge’s realisation that the phantom is associated with his future and death, and
the lesson that he must make the most of his remaining life
• Scrooge began by doubting the existence of Marley’s ghost, and the next ghosts, but
has now come accept that they are real.
• He learns that he has been held back by his love of money, whereas he should have
held on to love.
• He learns that he does not need to change out of fear of his own death, but fearing
the death of Tiny Tim.
AO2
• Language used to describe the ghost and his actions
• Language used by the husband and wife who are glad that he has died, yet ashamed
at their unchristian feelings
• Language used to describe Scrooge’s feelings
• The build up of Scrooge’s learning, from Marley’s warnings of torment, to seeing his
childhood loneliness, the love of his sister, of his fiancé, the generosity of Fezzywig,

56
 to the indifference of everyone to his own death, to the goodwill of others like
Cratchit and his nephew.
• How Dickens presents Scrooge at the end of the novel.
AO3
• The Christian message of the novel, and the idea that we will be judged by God and
admitted to heaven, or punished in hell.
• The political message, that the welfare of the poor is everyone’s responsibility, and
the more wealthy we are, the more we should do.
• The literary context – that the ghost story can be used both to entertain and offer a
didactic lesson, just like the carols which are sung at Christmas.
• The tradition of dramatic irony where the husband delays telling his wife Scrooge is
dead. (You might remember the same device when Macduff is told of his wife’s
death in Macbeth).

So, the perfect way to revise is to use each and every one of these bullet points to write an
essay, not under exam conditions.
Can you tell which AO will allow you to write best about different interpretations, and so get
the highest marks?
I hope you said AO3!
Now, because I am always trying to get you grade 7 and beyond, my AO3 bullet points are a
little more advanced than the exam board will give you or the examiners, especially the last
two.

Student Writing: Grade 5 Context

Dickens wants his readers to learn the same lesson Scrooge learns. The wife “prayed for
forgiveness” because she is teaching Scrooge a lesson that he should pray for forgiveness
too. Better than that, he has a chance to put things right. As Scrooge tells the ghost, “I shall
not leave its lesson.” We can see Scrooge changing, so Dickens wants us to begin changing
too.
Student Writing: Grade 6 and 7 Context
Dickens knows many of his audience are devout Christians. Consequently, he makes the
wife who is so glad at Scrooge’s death ask for forgiveness, “She prayed forgiveness the next
moment”.
However, he ends the sentence emphasising “the emotion of her heart”, because this will
convince Scrooge more to change. Coupling his Christian belief with his emotions is much
more persuasive. This is why at the end of the novel “He became as good a friend, as good a
master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or
borough, in the good old world.” Dickens focuses on his emotional change, with deliberate
reference to his being “good”, rather than any reference to forgiveness or God.
Student Writing: Grade 8 and 9 Context

57
Dickens has also written this ghost story to be read aloud at Christmas. This oral tradition
would be partly aimed at children, and delivering a moral lesson. This perhaps explains why
the Christian message is given to a child, Tiny Tim, “And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless
Us, Every One!”
However, it is significant that Dickens paid for his own illustrator, who clearly portrays the
ghosts of Christmas as pagan figures. From this perspective, Dickens is promoting beliefs
which predate Christianity. Perhaps he is suggesting that the need to be “good” to others is
a fundamentally human need. He emphasises this with “the good old world”, where “old”
tells us that his message is that the need to be good to each other is an ancient and
fundamental one.
Perhaps Dickens wants his readers to realise Christian faith is not enough, and instead
realise that we need actions now, in the present, to look after the welfare of the poor,
rather than relying on a merciful God welcoming the poor dead to heaven.
Student Writing: Beyond Grade 9
Dickens also has in mind a pastoral tradition, where writers celebrated the innocence of the
countryside, and a simpler way of life, in contrast to the corruption of London or the cities.
This is why Dickens makes the Ghost of Christmas past take Scrooge to the countryside,
where he spent his more innocent childhood: “an open country road, with fields on either
hand. The city had entirely vanished.”
He emphasises the corruption of London by stating “The darkness and the mist had
vanished with it, for it was a clear, cold, winter day, with snow upon the ground.” The
contrast of white “snow” with the “darkness” of the “city” it has replaced is a warning to his
city-bound readers that they too are corrupt, because their cities will have made them so.
This helps the moral lesson Dickens is teaching, that we each carry a bit of Scrooge’s self-
interest with us, and we could all learn from his example in looking after the welfare of
others.

What this means for your Revision of Any Text

1. Revise the context of your text to get the top grades.
2. Link this context to your interpretations.
3. The easiest place to do that is to write about the ending.
4. Aim for grade 9 by writing about the literary tradition and linking it to the author’s
purpose.
5. Use the indicative content of the mark scheme to write a full answer as part of
revision.

58
From: The Mr Salles Quick Guide to Grammar, Punctuation and Spelling

Who and Whom

Who is a subject pronoun which replaces the subject of the verb. (The subject of the verb is
the person, animal or thing doing the verb, performing the action, or being in that state – so
rather than writing all of that, we just call it the ‘subject’ of the verb).

Whom is an object pronoun which replaces the object of a verb. (The object is the person,
animal or thing the verb is done to).

To help you decide:

Whom can be replaced by me or her or him, because things are done to me, her or him.
Who can be replaced by I, she or he, as I, she and he do something.

Examples
1. Whom did you kiss? (Did you kiss him or her? Obviously, I’d already know if it were
me.)
2. Who shot the sheriff? (He probably did, because statistically men are more violent
than women and, when women murder, they prefer to use poison.)
3. To whom it may concern. (To her or him, though it is unlikely to be me, because I
wouldn’t write to myself, and if I did there is a high chance I would know my own
name.)
4. “Who died and made you king, Charles?” asked William, a little unnecessarily.

And: I or Me

I is the subject of the sentence, the person doing the verb. Me is the object of the sentence,
when the verb is done to them.

Whether to use ‘X and I’ or ‘X and me’ is easy. Get rid of X. Then it is much easier to hear the
difference and the correct choice.

E.g.
My father and (I or me) went shopping.
How do I decide?
1. Me went to the shops.
2. I went to the shops.
It’s easy when you put it this way.

Examples
1. Moses and I climbed the mountain, but only Moses burnt an ex-president.
2. The tablets God gave to Moses and me were impossible to swallow and pretty
difficult to carry.
3. Moses and I travelled the river by basket, which was recyclable and made of reeds.
4. Who ruined the meal by wandering through the dessert? Yes, it was Moses and me
(or I – which is grammatically correct, but has fallen out of fashion).

59
Less/ Few/ Fewer

The most common mistake is to use 'less' when 'fewer' would be correct.

Less is used to quantify something that can’t be counted. Whereas fewer refers to things
which could be counted (if you were bothered, which you probably aren’t, unless you are
Rainman).
• There was less rain, less anxiety, less excitement, less hunger, and less sugar.
(Couldn’t count ‘em.)
• There were fewer rain droplets, few anxious faces, fewer excited children, fewer
hungry bellies, and few lumps of sugar. (Could count ‘em if you were bothered.)

Examples
1. Netflix has fewer rivers than Amazon. (You can count rivers)
2. Pooh ate less honey than usual, but Honey ate fewer Poohs than Piglets. (You can’t
count honey, but you can count Poohs and Piglets).
3. Although I’m less happy than I used to be, there are few people happier than I am.
(Happiness is not countable but happy people are).
4. Grapes are less purple than Thanos, though he has fewer pips. (Although you can
count grapes and pips, you can’t count purple).

Confusable Words

A homophone is a word which sounds the same as another word, like wheel, we’ll and
weal. English is full of these words because, apparently, we are not very imaginative. That’s
why we love tea, tee and T, but not TNT.

Examples
Whether - is a conjunction, used to give an alternative.
Weather - is a noun, the state of the climate or atmosphere.
1. I'm not sure whether Liverpool should be made league champions in Coronavirus
year.
2. I am certain that the weather is going to be sunny tomorrow.

Affect - is a verb, meaning to have an influence on something or someone.

Effect - is a noun, meaning a change which is the result of an action.
1. Eating ice cream out of a tub will affect your weight.
2. The effect of eating tubs of ice cream is to make you tubby.
3. The effect of the Infinity Stone is to kill 50% of the population.
4. Ant-Man is affected by the Quantum Realm, but no one really understands how.

Uninterested is an adjective, meaning to find something boring or not interesting.

Disinterested is an adjective, meaning not biased.
1. The student is uninterested in Mr Salles’s lesson because she thinks Avengers are
boring.

60
 2. The spider was disinterested in whom it bit. Peter Parker just happened to be
available.
3. Snape was uninterested in the student’s excuse that Hermione had stolen her
homework.
4. The Hulk was disinterested in who to support in the conflict between Captain
America and Iron Man, he just wanted to fight.

Loose - is an adjective, meaning not tight, or not firmly in place.

Lose - is a verb, meaning to misplace or the opposite of to win.
1. The teacher’s false tooth was so loose, it shot out when she shouted and hit the
student right between the eyes.
2. “Don’t lose your head,” said Harry to Nick’s ghost.
3. “You snooze, you lose,” said Harry, sitting in Mr Salles’s favourite seat.
4. “Righty tighty, lefty loosey,” instructed the handy person, holding a spanner and a
screw driver.

Sight - is a noun, meaning the ability to see, or something that is seen.

Site - is a noun, meaning a place.
Cite - is a verb, meaning to give a quotation, or example.

1. Cite judicious quotations in your essays to get great marks.

2. The woman let the blind man come into the bathroom while she bathed.
Unfortunately, he had a blind, and his sight.
3. The sight of Rocket made people assume he was a Racoon, but I would cite the
example of Vin Diesel playing a character made of wood as more revealing.
4. The site of King Tut’s tomb was hidden for thousands of years.

Allowed - is a verb, meaning to be permitted or have permission.

Aloud - is an adverb, meaning out loud.
1. Sitting on the grass is not allowed, the sign told the ‘otel guests, cryptically.
2. The student was alert and read aloud. He wished the teacher wouldn’t call him a lert
though, and wondered if the insult was allowed.

Accept - is a verb, meaning to agree or receive.

Except - is a preposition, meaning ‘but not’, or an exception
1. I would like you to accept that Superhero movies are not really films at all.
2. She accepted his tip after the meal, except she couldn’t control the landing and
rolled down the hill.
3. I love all pets, except for cats. Dogs accept their owners, but cats just wait for you to
die so they can lick your face off.

Imply – is a verb. To suggest something.

Infer – is a verb. To work something out.
Implies – A short person who refuses to tell the truth.

1. When Tony Stark married Pepper Potts, we could infer he wanted to spice up his life.

61
2. Liam Gallagher’s voice implies he has never had a singing lesson.
3. The quotation implies that Lady Macbeth had a dog called Spot and wanted him to
leave.
4. From my viewing figures, I can infer that most students only revise properly in the
week before their exams.

62
From: The Mr Salles Guide to 100% in AQA English Language Exam

Paper 1 Question 4: Exam Tactics

You must learn the subject terminology in this section. No shortcuts – this is not a
hairdressers. No excuses – the dog didn’t eat your revision

There are obvious features which you will always look for:
Simile, metaphor, personification, alliteration, sibilance, onomatopoeia. These are the main
forms of imagery or symbolism.
Then we have structural features, that also count as language features:
Contrast, juxtaposition, repetition,
Next we have features that reveal the author’s, or narrator’s, or main character’s tone:
Register, allusion, reference

Glossary of Terms
Simile: where you use the word “like” or “as” to make a comparison, describing why one thing
is like another.
• His smile was like honey, sweet, alluring, promising a lifetime of plenty.
• The moment passed, like a rescue ship, and she was left alone, all alone, the sole
survivor of the wreck of her marriage.
• The snake was as beautiful as a well told lie. It waited for the gullible dog.

Metaphor: where you make a comparison, by saying one thing is, or was something else.
• The moment passed, like a rescue ship, and she was left alone, all alone, the sole
survivor of the wreck of her marriage.
• The music played silver notes, and the singers voice was a diamond, a gift of love.
• Summer blazed in the wood, colour exploding up the tree trunks, licking the branches
with warmth.

I went out on a date with a simile. I don’t know what I metaphor.

Personification: where you use a simile or, more often, a metaphor to describe something
that is not human, with characteristics which are human – like a person.
• The inscrutable police car sat motionless as a judge weighing up a death sentence.
• The sword quivered with joy, ready to punch, slash and stab.

63
 • The TV winked open its giant eye, inviting me to get lost within.

Alliteration: where the sounds of consonants are the same in words that are close together.
Usually, but not exclusively, the sounds will be at the beginning of words.
• Creeping carefully, the dog tracked the scent of my cooking, and pounced as I poured
the gravy.
• “Forget the phone, you fool, it’s bugged, and we’re so busted.”
• “It’s not a party, it’s a get together,” complained Candace, while Phineas and Ferb
laughed loud and long.

Sibilance: alliteration of the ‘S’ sound.

• The moment passed, like a rescue ship, and she was left alone, all alone, the sole
survivor of the wreck of her marriage.
• Soft waves swept the shore, and the sand whispered like a waking lover.
• The pen scratched and scribbled, never stopping to make sense.

Onomatopoeia: words which recreate sounds. Usually they are spelt in such a way that they
sound like the sounds they are describing. Note that alliteration can have an onomatopoeic
effect.
• Soft waves swept the shore, and the sand whispered like a waking lover.
• The pen scratched and scribbled, never stopping to make sense.
• The sword quivered with joy, ready to punch, slash and stab.

Imagery: uses descriptive features like those listed above to recreate one or more of the
senses. Don’t just think of it as visual, but also sound, smell, taste, texture.
• The blue sky was bright with hope.
• The bed fought back, each lump in the mattress was a fist, both pillows slick with sweat
like a boxer’s chest.
• I stepped off the plane, tasted the heat of the sun, an exotic spice to the main course
of my holiday to come.

Symbolism: something that stands for or represents something else, often an idea.
In Little Red Riding Hood, her name is symbolic of sexual experience, the Wolf is symbolic of
male sexual desire which is portrayed as destructive. The mother’s instruction to stay on the
path is symbolic of following society’s rules, and in particular preserving Little Red Riding
Hood’s virginity. The woodcutter who kills the wolf is symbolic of either the father’s
protection, or the finding of a true partner, depending on how you want to read the story.
Now, you might not read the story this way at all, which is fine. However, you will need to
provide your own symbolic interpretation – deal with the symbolism and you will ace grade 7
and beyond.

64
Contrast: two things that are put close together in order to emphasise the difference between
them.
• The parental expectation that Jack is a useless son who has reduced them to poverty
when selling their cow for beans, is contrasted with the resolution where the
courageous, resourceful and lucky Jack raises the family to riches.
• The fate of the first two pigs, who built their houses quickly, is contrasted with the
fate of the younger but wiser pig who builds his house of bricks.
• The warmth and promise of spring is contrasted with the melancholy and cold of
winter.

Juxtaposition: two things that are put close together in order to emphasise the difference
between them.
• “Give us a pound, mister,” said the beggar, scrolling through the internet on his phone.
• The mother, tortured with pain, now smiled beatifically, while the baby, newly
released, screamed incessantly.
• While the battle raged, the generals sat behind the front lines, drinking beers and
stuffing three course meals.

Repetition: repeating a word, phrase, or idea. This can be done to emphasise, to create a
rhythm or tone, or to reveal a contrast or comparison.

Register: In linguistics, a register is a variety of a language used for a particular purpose or in

a particular setting.

What words give this the register of colloquial, American teenage language?
“(Candace runs out to the backyard, she stares in shock upon seeing the
rollercoaster, along with horror music)
Candace: Phineas, what is this?!
Phineas: Do you like it?
Candace: Ooh, I'm gonna tell Mom, and when she sees what you're doing, you are
going down. (runs off) Down! Down! Down! D-O-W-N, down!”

Which words deal with the idea of writing a novel?

“In my mind, I continually entertain myself with fragments of narrative, dialogue and
plot twists but as soon as I’m in front of a blank page, they evaporate. I feel stuck.
Sometimes I think I should give up, but I have convinced myself that if I can find a
way to write more freely and suppress my inner critic, I could finally finish that first
draft.”

65
 It was my first day at a new school. I walked in.
The teacher said, “sit there for the present.”
So I sat there all day, getting more and more disappointed.
After sitting there all day, I still hadn’t had my present.
On the plus side, sitting in the staff room all day was nice.

Allusion: is a brief and indirect reference to a person, place, thing or idea of historical,
cultural, literary or political significance. It therefore depends on the reader being well read.

• Jose Mourihno attacks the game like a man who has been told that no man born of
woman can ever defeat him. Unfortunately, it may be that Pep Guardiola was born
by caesarean section. (Check out Macbeth for the allusion).
• Donald Trump loves ice cream. Forget Ben and Jerry’s, he only likes Walls. (Ask a
Mexican for the allusion)
• 2B or not 2B? Picasso picked up his pencil and wondered whether to paint or write a
play. (You need to know something about Hamlet and the names of pencils for the
allusions)

Reference: to mention or allude to something.

Synesthesia: a figurative use of words that intends to draw out a response from readers
stimulating more than one of the senses.
From The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald: “The lights grow brighter as the earth lurches
away from the sun, and now the orchestra is playing yellow cocktail music, and the opera of
voices pitches a higher key.” Here the colour yellow invites us to imagine a happy sound to
the music.
From Oscar Wilde’s An Ideal Husband: “I believe they have got a mauve Hungarian band
that plays mauve Hungarian music.” The music sounds dull and tuneless, as mauve is a dull
and muted form of purple.
In Red, by Taylor Swift, “Losing him was blue like I’d never known//Missing him was dark
grey all alone.” TThe colours reflect the singer’s emotions. “Loving him was red.” See – Little
Red Riding Hood lives on!
You need to practise using all these words accurately. Then you need to practise memorizing
them, so that you don’t have to think about them – they need to be on the tip of your tongue,
and on the tip of your pen in the exam.

66
What do I have to do to get 100%?

Because AQA’s sample papers use 20th century texts, where the author did not die at least
70 years ago, they are copyrighted. Consequently, I have adapted a question and mark
scheme below.

“My brother and friends spend all of their time floating out at sea. Well, boys will be buoys.”
Bec Hill

Sample texts for Paper 1:

(You can find both of these novels, their full texts, on Project Gutenberg. You should visit it
to read all kinds of texts that are more than 70 years old – this will make you an expert in
English.)

The 39 Steps, by John Buchan

CHAPTER ONE

The Man Who Died

Here was I, thirty-seven years old, sound in wind and limb, with enough money to have
a good time, yawning my head off all day. I had just about settled to clear out and get back to
the veld, for I was the best bored man in the United Kingdom.

That afternoon I had been worrying my brokers about investments to give my mind
something to work on, and on my way home I turned into my club—rather a pot-house, which
took in Colonial members. I had a long drink, and read the evening papers. They were full of
the row in the Near East, and there was an article about Karolides, the Greek Premier. I rather
fancied the chap. From all accounts he seemed the one big man in the show; and he played a
straight game too, which was more than could be said for most of them. I gathered that they
hated him pretty blackly in Berlin and Vienna, but that we were going to stick by him, and one
paper said that he was the only barrier between Europe and Armageddon. I remember
wondering if I could get a job in those parts. It struck me that Albania was the sort of place
that might keep a man from yawning.

About six o'clock I went home, dressed, dined at the Cafe Royal, and turned into a music-
hall. It was a silly show, all capering women and monkey-faced men, and I did not stay long.

67
The night was fine and clear as I walked back to the flat I had hired near Portland Place. The
crowd surged past me on the pavements, busy and chattering, and I envied the people for
having something to do. These shop-girls and clerks and dandies and policemen had some
interest in life that kept them going. I gave half-a-crown to a beggar because I saw him yawn;
he was a fellow-sufferer. At Oxford Circus I looked up into the spring sky and I made a vow. I
would give the Old Country another day to fit me into something; if nothing happened, I
would take the next boat for the Cape.

My flat was the first floor in a new block behind Langham Place. There was a common
staircase, with a porter and a liftman at the entrance, but there was no restaurant or anything
of that sort, and each flat was quite shut off from the others. I hate servants on the premises,
so I had a fellow to look after me who came in by the day. He arrived before eight o'clock
every morning and used to depart at seven, for I never dined at home.

I was just fitting my key into the door when I noticed a man at my elbow. I had not seen
him approach, and the sudden appearance made me start. He was a slim man, with a short
brown beard and small, gimlety blue eyes. I recognized him as the occupant of a flat on the
top floor, with whom I had passed the time of day on the stairs.

'Can I speak to you?' he said. 'May I come in for a minute?' He was steadying his voice
with an effort, and his hand was pawing my arm.

I got my door open and motioned him in. No sooner was he over the threshold than he
made a dash for my back room, where I used to smoke and write my letters. Then he bolted
back.

'Is the door locked?' he asked feverishly, and he fastened the chain with his own hand.

'I'm very sorry,' he said humbly. 'It's a mighty liberty, but you looked the kind of man
who would understand. I've had you in my mind all this week when things got troublesome.
Say, will you do me a good turn?'

'I'll listen to you,' I said. 'That's all I'll promise.' I was getting worried by the antics of this
nervous little chap.

There was a tray of drinks on a table beside him, from which he filled himself a stiff
whisky-and-soda. He drank it off in three gulps, and cracked the glass as he set it down.

'Pardon,' he said, 'I'm a bit rattled tonight. You see, I happen at this moment to be dead.'

717 words

68
 A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Before you study this question, use the checklist we met on page 4, and see if you can
use it to write about this passage. Then post your effort to me as a comment on Mr Salles
Teaches English, and I will try to mark it for you.

69
Call of the Wild, Jack London

Chapter I. Into the

Primitive

Buck did not read the newspapers, or he would have known that trouble was brewing, not
alone for himself, but for every tide-water dog, strong of muscle and with warm, long hair,
from Puget Sound to San Diego. Because men, groping in the Arctic darkness, had found a
yellow metal, and because steamship and transportation companies were booming the find,
thousands of men were rushing into the Northland. These men wanted dogs, and the dogs
they wanted were heavy dogs, with strong muscles by which to toil, and furry coats to protect
them from the frost.

Buck lived at a big house in the sun-kissed Santa Clara Valley. Judge Miller's place, it was
called. It stood back from the road, half hidden among the trees, through which glimpses
could be caught of the wide cool veranda that ran around its four sides. The house was
approached by gravelled driveways which wound about through wide-spreading lawns and
under the interlacing boughs of tall poplars. At the rear things were on even a more spacious
scale than at the front. There were great stables, where a dozen grooms and boys held forth,
rows of vine-clad servants' cottages, an endless and orderly array of outhouses, long grape
arbors, green pastures, orchards, and berry patches. Then there was the pumping plant for
the artesian well, and the big cement tank where Judge Miller's boys took their morning
plunge and kept cool in the hot afternoon.

And over this great demesne Buck ruled. Here he was born, and here he had lived the four
years of his life. It was true, there were other dogs, there could not but be other dogs on so
vast a place, but they did not count. They came and went, resided in the populous kennels, or
lived obscurely in the recesses of the house after the fashion of Toots, the Japanese pug, or
Ysabel, the Mexican hairless, —strange creatures that rarely put nose out of doors or set foot
to ground. On the other hand, there were the fox terriers, a score of them at least, who yelped
fearful promises at Toots and Ysabel looking out of the windows at them and protected by a
legion of housemaids armed with brooms and mops.

But Buck was neither house-dog nor kennel-dog. The whole realm was his. He plunged into
the swimming tank or went hunting with the Judge's sons; he escorted Mollie and Alice, the
Judge's daughters, on long twilight or early morning rambles; on wintry nights he lay at the
Judge's feet before the roaring library fire; he carried the Judge's grandsons on his back, or
rolled them in the grass, and guarded their footsteps through wild adventures down to the
fountain in the stable yard, and even beyond, where the paddocks were, and the berry
patches. Among the terriers he stalked imperiously, and Toots and Ysabel he utterly ignored,
for he was king, —king over all creeping, crawling, flying things of Judge Miller's place,
humans included.

70
 His father, Elmo, a huge St. Bernard, had been the Judge's inseparable companion, and Buck
bid fair to follow in the way of his father. He was not so large, —he weighed only one hundred
and forty pounds, —for his mother, Shep, had been a Scotch shepherd dog. Nevertheless, one
hundred and forty pounds, to which was added the dignity that comes of good living and
universal respect, enabled him to carry himself in right royal fashion. During the four years
since his puppyhood he had lived the life of a sated aristocrat; he had a fine pride in himself,
was even a trifle egotistical, as country gentlemen sometimes become because of their insular
situation. But he had saved himself by not becoming a mere pampered house-dog. Hunting
and kindred outdoor delights had kept down the fat and hardened his muscles; and to him, as
to the cold-tubbing races, the love of water had been a tonic and a health preserver.

And this was the manner of dog Buck was in in the fall of 1897, when the Klondike strike
dragged men from all the world into the frozen North. But Buck did not read the newspapers,
and he did not know that Manuel, one of the gardener's helpers, was an undesirable
acquaintance. Manuel had one besetting sin. He loved to play Chinese lottery. Also, in his
gambling, he had one besetting weakness—faith in a system; and this made his damnation
certain. For to play a system requires money, while the wages of a gardener's helper do not
lap over the needs of a wife and numerous progeny.

766 words

I’ve deliberately chosen texts that are a bit unusual, as I am trying to lure you into reading
early 20th century texts. You will get to grips with much more complex sentences and
vocabulary than modern novels, and you will be fully prepared for the exam.

As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.

Gary Delaney

Find The Techniques in These Quotations I’ve Taken from the Passage
Among the terriers he stalked imperiously, and Toots and Ysabel he utterly ignored, for he
was king, —king over all creeping, crawling, flying things of Judge Miller's place, humans
included.

Hunting and kindred outdoor delights had kept down the fat and hardened his muscles; and
to him, as to the cold-tubbing races, the love of water had been a tonic and a health preserver.

And this was the manner dog Buck was in in the fall of 1897, when the Klondike strike
dragged men from all the world into the frozen North. But Buck did not read the newspapers,
and he did not know that Manuel, one of the gardener's helpers, was an undesirable
acquaintance.

Did you spot:

71
 1. The metaphor, that he “was king”?
2. The repetition of “king”.
3. The allusion to Genesis in The Bible, where like Adam and Eve, he ruled over every
“creeping” “thing”.
4. The alliteration of “creeping, crawling”.
5. The anthropomorphism of the second paragraph, describing Buck as a man.
6. The allusion to falling, reminiscent of failure, or of The Fall of Adam and Eve, in “fall
of 1897”.
7. The personification of Klondike strike which “dragged men from all over”.
8. The alliteration and internal rhyme of “Klondike strike”.
9. The use of contrast of “the frozen North” compared to the land Buck has grown up
on.
10. The contrast of Buck’s sense of certainty with the warning, “But Buck did not read”.
11. The allusion to Buck’s intelligence – London did not write “could not read”, as
though to suggests that he simply chose not to learn to read.
12. The contrast of Buck’s intelligence to his ignorance, “and he did not know that”.

Don’t worry if you didn’t find many of these. You don’t need a dozen quotations, as you only
have 30 minutes in which to write. My point, instead, is that once you get used to finding
these features in texts, you will find the exam easy. It is unlikely that you will need to write
about more than 10 quotations for 100%. In the AQA exemplar on Hale, which indicates the
quality, not length of writing, the examiner uses 6 quotations in 238 words. This is about one
every 40 words. However, several of these are simply one word quotations. You can beat this
just using the small parts of the passage I have forced you to look at.

Look at the rest of the passage and test yourself – how many more can you find?

You will quickly get to the stage where you can find 15 - 20 quotations in the whole passage,
and in the exam, you will only need 10.

What You Should do to Revise This

1. Look at the 12 points that I have found. For each one, try to write about why Jack
London has portrayed Buck this way. Link your answer to the question.
2. Post your answers on my YouTube channel if you would like me to comment on it.
3. Practise the skills of cutting down the words, as I showed you earlier.

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess.
Matt Kershen

72
Ok, but what does the examiner really want?
Often students worry that they don’t know how to start. This is death in the exam. One minute
spent wondering how to start is one minute not getting marks. That’s probably one mark gone
– my maximum mark is now only 99%. Most students wait more than a minute, and lose even
more marks.

Instead, my advice is just to start. Start with the first thing written about your character (it is
highly likely that question 4 will always be about a character). You simply ask yourself:

How is the writer trying to influence how I think or feel about this character?

This is a 20-mark question which you know means you have 30 minutes. You need to keep
practising writing under exam conditions. My rough guide would be that you ought to be able
to write 450 words in that time, or a side and a half of A4. My sample beginning is 301 words,
so 20 minutes’ worth of writing.

You would never write this much on one paragraph in the exam. But I would encourage you
to write like this in your revision. That’s why it is here. It will develop your confidence that
ideas can be found everywhere. This will liberate you during the exam, because you will then
be able to choose what you consider the best points, the ones that will show you as
“sophisticated”.

Model Answer
Here is my made up question for Call of the Wild, which you will see is very closely based on
the specimen paper:

Focus this part of your answer on the second part of the source from line 18 (I have put these
in italics for you – the exam won’t) to the end.

A student, having read this section of the text, said: “This part of the text, explaining what
Buck is doing, shows how safe and superior he feels. It reminds me of pride before a fall.”

To what extent do you agree? In your response, you could:

• consider your own impressions of how Buck feels

• evaluate how the writer creates an unsafe atmosphere

• support your opinions with references to the text.

Model Answer
The narrator uses a register that suggests power, so that “Buck ruled”. He is also
anthropomorphized as a land owner, owning a “great demesne”. The use of “great” as

73
opposed to large reflects Buck’s sense of his own worth. London contrasts this greatness with
vanity, so that we might see Buck’s vanity, believing other dogs “did not count”.

The other dogs are far less important to him because of their address, so they “lived
obscurely in the recesses of the house”. This portrays Buck as a bit of snob. London wants us
to both admire and dislike Buck, so that he is slightly racist, dismissing the other dogs as
foreign, “Japanese” and “Mexican”, and by referring to them as “creatures”. Of course, this
also suggests how human-like he sees himself, so he contrasts himself as not a “creature”.
We are encouraged to marvel at his intelligence, so that he seems to be having a dialogue
with himself: “It was true, there were other dogs”, as though he is questioning his own vanity
and self-importance.

However, so grand is his vision of his own greatness, that he sees himself as superior to the
servants, who are described in metaphor to show their subservience, as “a legion of
housemaids armed with brooms and mops”. This also hints at sexism, as no male servants
are dismissed as faceless, part of this “legion” and the housemaids are linked to the female
dog, “Ysabel” and the probably female “Toots”. This allusion to protection and being
“armed” also prepares us for Buck’s lack of safety – he will need protection, but does not
realise that he is unsafe. This is even more apparent when we consider that his legions are
made up of women and yapping terriers who can only communicate “fearful promises” and
whose weapons are only made of wood.
304 words

The words in bold indicate the writer’s methods, and the kind of vocabulary that will convince
the examiners that you are an expert in writing about literature. Notice too the words that
suggest a tentative interpretation, “seems, as though, probably”. This suggests to the
examiner that you are considering many possibilities and interpretations, because you are a
“sophisticated” reader.

The examiner’s exemplar for the specimen papers is written in the first person. I have
deliberately avoided this – referring to yourself as “us” and “we” presents you as the expert
reader. “I” invites a reader to disagree with you. “We” invites the reader to agree with you.

Notice again that I don’t write in PEE paragraphs: instead each sentence contains at least two
of Point, Evidence, Explanation. The only rule is that there must always be a linking
explanation.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
Nick Helm

74
Let’s colour code it to see what I mean:

Model Answer
The narrator uses a register that suggests power, so that “Buck ruled”. He is also
anthropomorphized as a land owner, owning a “great demesne”. The use of “great” as
opposed to large reflects Buck’s sense of his own worth. London contrasts this greatness with
vanity, so that we might see Buck’s vanity, believing other dogs “did not count”.

The other dogs are far less important to him because of their address, so they “lived
obscurely in the recesses of the house”. This portrays Buck as a bit of snob. London wants us
to both admire and dislike Buck, so that he is slightly racist, dismissing the other dogs as
foreign, “Japanese” and “Mexican”, and by referring to them as “creatures”. Of course, this
also suggests how human-like he sees himself, so he contrasts himself as not a “creature”.
We are encouraged to marvel at his intelligence, so that he seems to be having a dialogue
with himself: “It was true, there were other dogs”, as though he is questioning his own vanity
and self-importance.

Key
Point
Evidence
Explanation

I hope you can see that you are still writing using PEE, but you are no longer worried about
the order of point and evidence. Explanation always comes last, unless you are linking to a
new explanation.
Every point still has evidence to back it up, and each point is also explained. But, these ideas
are linked together much more fluently, not clumsily, like a PEE paragraph.

See if you can do this one for yourself:

However, so grand is his vision of his own greatness, that he sees himself as superior to the
servants, who are described in metaphor to show their subservience, “a legion of housemaids
armed with brooms and mops”. This also hints at sexism, as no male servants are dismissed
as faceless, part of this “legion” and the housemaids are linked to the female dog, “Ysabel”
and the probably female “Toots”. This allusion to protection and being “armed” also
prepares us for Buck’s lack of safety – he will need protection, but does not realise that he is
unsafe. This is even more apparent when we consider that his legions are made up of women,
yapping terriers who can only communicate “fearful promises” and whose weapons are only
made of wood.

The Magic Finger (or Where I Found my Quotations)

75
 And over this great demesne Buck ruled. Here he was born, and here he had lived the four
years of his life. It was true, there were other dogs, there could not but be other dogs on so
vast a place, but they did not count. They came and went, resided in the populous kennels, or
lived obscurely in the recesses of the house after the fashion of Toots, the Japanese pug, or
Ysabel, the Mexican hairless, —strange creatures that rarely put nose out of doors or set foot
to ground. On the other hand, there were the fox terriers, a score of them at least, who yelped
fearful promises at Toots and Ysabel looking out of the windows at them and protected by a
legion of housemaids armed with brooms and mops.

This is what I mean by ‘the magic finger’. If you close your eyes, and just stab the text, that
sentence will magically have a method in it about which you can write. You don’t have to go
looking for these methods. They are everywhere!

One of the skills I want my students to learn is that they are in charge in an exam. Writers
genuinely think about every sentence they write, often every word. When I wrote The Slightly
Awesome Teacher, I redrafted it four times, and cut over 66,000 words. All writers do this.
You should therefore be confident that there will probably be a quotation that you can write
about in each sentence, probably, as in my example, each line.

The cross-eyed teacher lost her job.

She couldn't control her pupils.

What Skills Have We Repeated from Question 3 in Question 4?

There are 8. As you work through the skills of each question, you will find that you get better
and better at the exam as a whole, because these skills keep recurring.

1. Make a point about the narrator’s or the author’s tone as early as you can. This will
always feel “sophisticated” to the examiner.
2. Use the language of an expert throughout.
• The choice of words of a character or of the author is always their “register”.
• The main character is the “protagonist”. His or her enemies are always
“antagonists”.
• The reader always has to work things out, to “infer”, which you must always
use to discuss the effect on the reader.
• Every story has some conflict in it, so we refer to it as the “crisis”.
• The solution to a crisis is always called a “resolution” – as a verb it is
“resolved”.
• Refer to the narrator, and make sure you distinguish between the narrator
and the author.
• Use the author’s surname.

76
3. There is very likely to be contrast in any text, so look for it. It is also likely that this
will influence the whole of the text – make this point. Examiners will be persuaded
that you have been able to have a sophisticated overview of the whole text if you
find a technique that is used throughout. It may not have occurred to them that
most fiction texts are structured around contrast, so you will appear much more
sophisticated than you are!
4. Write about the ending of the extract.
5. If you can see clues to it, write about the ending of the chapter or the story, or to a
crisis that hasn’t yet been resolved in the extract.
6. You can shorten quotations by using an ellipsis to get rid of the words you don’t
need.
7. There is no introduction – simply write about the purpose of the first paragraph.
Even better if you spot more than one purpose.
8. There is no conclusion – simply write about the ending, and if you can, the implied
ending to the crisis, chapter, story beyond the extract.

77
Question 5
For question 5, I show you numerous ways to write a story. In this one, I’ve simply taken a
trailer to a film and turned it into a story.
How would you do this for your exam? Easy. Adapt your story to what is in the question, or
adapt your character to any question. In other words, I know I can stroll into the exam and
write about Princess Mathilde, no matter what the question.
Write about a time when…easy. Nothing has to be true.
Write about this picture … Mathilde took a moment to look at the picture one of her suitors
had given her. It was pathetic.

Princess Mathilde and Cupid’s Arrow

Mathilde knew she looked amazing. But then it was her duty as a princess. She loved being
the centre of attention, loved dressing up: the chiffon and silk; the velvet, the fun of display.
She was a girl, wasn’t she?
She was sixteen. Her father, the warrior king, McArthur Glen the Great, was a wonderful
father, she had to admit, but he was still first and foremost a king. And a king is bound by
tradition, much the same as a princess. So, today was Suitor Day, when the 16-year-old
princess must begin the long and frustrating selection of a husband. They would compete
for her in an archery contest.
Problem number one: she was beautiful, but Mathilde didn’t want a husband. Problem
number two: the suitors on offer, even if she had been in the market to buy, wouldn’t have
made her part with a bag of farthings, let alone gold. Jacob the Just from the McDuff clan
was ‘duff’ by name and nature, and ‘Just’ about had a brain, was skinny and ‘just’ barely
male.
Martin the Mighty (McClean clan) was very buff indeed, and looked beautiful: rippling
muscles, a to-die-for face and of course great teeth. But the most mighty thing about him
was his head – if he could be any more vain, he’d be an artery.
And then there was Daniel the Daring, who might well have been kind and brave but was -
how could she put it – so ugly that his own mother had probably removed every mirror in
the mansion. Mathilde was sixteen, and looks still counted.
Now problem number three: suppression. Here she sat, her flaming red hair (normally a riot
of curls - the true expression of her passionate nature) was plastered flat inside a white
head-dress. One rebellious curl peered over her forehead like a question mark. Her whole
personality must be suppressed because she had to be seen to be the perfect princess.
Normally, she could stand this. But today, these idiot suitors were too much. Problem
number four: her bow and arrow. Her first memory - picnicking in the forest. Father had
crafted the bow, carved from his favourite Yew – strong, flexible, lethal.

78
It fit her hand like a son’s. She had loved it immediately.
Laughing, she’d fired arrows into the air, then chased them into the forest. Her final arrow
had gone farthest – she remembered now the cool darkness of the woods and the strange
lights that flickered, as she followed. Will-of-the-wisps, her mother called them – magical
creatures who point us towards our fates. She had followed them all the way to her lost
arrows, and back to her beautiful bow. Fate.
Her father had encouraged it, till she had grown as good as any man. No, better. She stood
now as tall as a soldier. The draw on her bow now was more powerful than many soldiers
could manage. Her wide shoulders accentuated her narrow waist. Of course fashion hid her
strength beneath silk sleeves, so that muscles tightened discretely, lean and long, and
always ready.
Determined, she jumped from her throne, and strode to the target range before anyone
could stop her, her mother calling in alarm: too late. Her three suitors, intent on their
targets, only felt her pass. She drew the bow at speed, but calmly, her mind ahead of her
senses; notched the arrow, drew to her soft cheek, sighted while striding, and released. The
arrow zipped towards the first bullseye as she’d already notched the second, striding past
the bemused Martin, and thwack, mid-stride she pierced his bull, until finally she paused.
The astonished crowd had now awakened, and began to roar her name as the final arrow
flew.
It shattered Daniel’s shaft in an explosion, and drove clean through the target to the wood
beyond. Cupid be damned. She would choose her own love.

79
From: The Mr Salles Guide to Awesome Short Story Writing

Six-Cam (the Six Camera Method)

It is for students who are already at Grade 7, and want to know how to get Grades 8 and
9.
An examiner could choose to mark this as a description, because only one event happens –
a flock of geese are sucked into an aircraft engine.
Everything else that happens takes place over the same 10-30 seconds.
The resulting crash and probable death of all the passengers is not described – it is simply
implied, and will happen in the future, not now, in my description.
Because the ending is implied, it allows the examiner to see it as a story if you wish them to.
My point here is that you can learn a method which simply gives you interesting writing. It is
filled with descriptive techniques, but also builds towards a climax. You can adapt it easily to
either the story or description question. (Remember, the examiners may choose to give you
only descriptive writing questions, or only narrative questions – you won’t always get the
choice).
For these reasons, it is my favourite technique for getting top grades in the exam.
Six-Cam, and The Kingsdown Method which you will meet later, allow you to turn a
description into a story. Remember, the examiners don’t have to give you the option to
write a description. They might simply give you two choice of narrative.

This is a technique adapted from one taught to me by Nick Wells, a great teacher who
adapted his technique from another teacher who probably came across it watching a Steven
Spielberg film. This is a guide where we steal ideas. It is what great writers do.
The six cameras (Six-Cam) technique always works, whatever your subject. It works
whether you are writing an exam answer, or taking your time writing a story for pleasure or
for publication.
It works best when the action takes place over a short amount of time.
This is it:
1. Zoom Out – flock of geese
2. Motif – symbol or image – guitar
3. Zoom In – face stewardess
4. Motif – music
5. Zoom Out - space eyed view, God
6. Motif - guitar
On the left is the structure. On the right is what I jotted down in front of my class. The
picture we were looking at was of a mother and young son, looking out at a runway with a

80
plane on it. I asked my students to write down anything that came to mind. My class, being
teenagers, mainly wrote about plane crashes.
“Write about a plane crash sir.”
Left to their own devices, 50% of teenagers will probably kill something when they write a
short story or a description. That’s how entertainment works these days – guns, explosions,
zombies, terrorism, computer games with mega-slaughter…
So the rule is nobody dies.
Now, take your six cameras and place them around the scene. The cameras gave me the list
on the right. I just wrote down the first thing for each that came in to my head. That’s it.
That’s your whole plan.
Now all I had to do was crash my plane, but not describe anybody dying.
Easy.

Wings
Zoom Out – flock of geese
The V followed its normal trajectory, the lead swapping as though by telepathy, in a strange
choreography which had developed over millions of years without planes. Perhaps why the
lead bird did not notice the Airbus, rising towards it. Perhaps that is why the flock followed
blindly, faithful to the goose in front, as the engines rose to meet them like a greeting on a
warm summer’s day.
Motif – symbol or image – guitar
At the window, Lisa sat, cradling her new guitar. She was eight years old, and going to
Nashville, to join her father at last. He had given her this red guitar as a present, and a
promise that he would teach her to play like an angel. Her eyes turned to the window,
registering the silent disaster as the birds met the engine on her left-hand side. Something
was wrong with this picture, and she thought she heard the guitar begin to play.
Zoom In – face stewardess
The stewardess with the blond hair, and the tired eyes, fed up of passengers asking her
question after question, trip after trip, felt it first, as though she were a Jedi knight feeling a
disruption in The Force. She smiled, realising that her boyfriend would be surprised at the
Star Wars reference. But something was wrong. This wasn’t turbulence. There was a
disruption in the Force.
Motif – music
In slow motion, the theme tune played. Dum dum dum, dum – de – dum, dum – de – dum.
An image of black boots and a black helmet appeared. Instantly, she knew the symbol for
what it was. She suddenly realised why he was called Darth, a short syllable away from total
blackness, eternal blackness, the coming blackness.

81
Bart was playing on his phone again. At sixteen he knew better than to have the volume
turned up, so that the middle-aged couple next to him could hear his appalling music leaking
out of his ears, in a slow trickle that had built up to a flood, drowning them both in
unexpressed anger as the flight wore on. How the music had droned. The wife saw the
geese first, and some part of her brain, the reptilian part she knew, suddenly kicked in.
Anger rose in her like fire, no like petrol thrown on to a fire, and flames of rage, huge and
overwhelming strobed the back of her skull. She turned to the boy, placed one hand on his
earphones, and prepared for what she knew was coming.
He looked into her eyes, and watched her lips move: “we don’t need no education, we don’t
need no…” But he would never know what she didn’t need.
Zoom Out- space eyed view, God
Who was it who gazed down silently at the scene? The pilot looked up, as though in prayer.
He had felt it too, and knew the procedure, the checklist that he and his co-pilot would jump
into, the years of training kicking in. But he feared this would not be enough. He looked up,
hoping for a sign.
Only the clouds gazed back at him. Lisa noticed them too. Fluffy, like a child’s drawing.
Unreal. But they looked down with indifference.
In seconds the entire flock was gone. The engines roared with flame, and triumph or rage, it
was impossible to tell. The clouds looked on sightlessly, without care.
Motif
The stewardess turned toward the flash of red. Lisa had lifted her guitar, and was taking it
out of the case for the very first time.
565 words

What to learn from this description:

1. The 6 changes of camera angle always work, because they give you different
perspectives.
2. Because the cameras are filming within the same 60 seconds (or even shorter), they
easily build up to a climax, which is the ending. You don’t have to plan it in advance.
3. Start with a contrast, as this automatically presents a crisis or conflict. The whole
camera structure makes sure that each shot is a contrast to the last.
4. Camera angles allow you to think in moving pictures, which make it easier to think of
similes and metaphors.
5. Give your character’s backstory quickly, so we know their thoughts and some
history.
6. Try to start each sentence with a different word.
7. Slow down time with adverbs – notice they appear in my ‘slow motion’ paragraph.
8. Enjoy writing, using allusions. You should spot The Simpsons, Star Wars, Pink Floyd.
9. Have a circular ending, referring back to the motif you started with.
10. Twist the reader’s expectations at the end. It is more tragic if the girl has never
played her guitar before.
11. End it just before the death. Let the reader add up two plus two.

82
 12. Having a motif will always give your description a structure and as you keep going
back to it, it will give you a focus for your ending.
(Bold means these count double, as they are also in the 16 marks available for AO6 Technical
Accuracy).

83
From: The Mr Salles Quick Guide to Description
The Kingsdown Method
I’m very lucky to work with a team of great English teachers in Kingsdown School. Here I am
going to share with you the brilliant way they have adapted Six-Cam for students who are
trying to improve by two grades, to grades 5, 6 and 7.
The examples I give you will also take you to grade 9 – but it is a simpler version of Six-Cam
and therefore easier to master.

1. Weather – to set a tone, and because you can memorise it

2. Zoom out
3. Zoom in
4. Zoom in
5. Zoom in
6. Zoom out - creating a contrast (which you can also do at any step) using the
weather, and a character’s memory.

The other advice they give, which you will also know is the advice I give, is do question 5
first.

You’ll also see how they combine this with sentence types which students remember and
recreate.

And you’ll notice that the description of the weather will fit any question.
Let’s take a look.

My Planned Weather Description (To Memorise and Adapt for Any Question)
Here is a grade 7 description, based on bad weather
Outside, the furious winds were stabbing anyone who walked through them – then
disappearing, invisible. An army of clouds gathered in the sky, blocking out all sunlight and
all hope, and casting an ominous shadow on the ground. The clouds were almost at bursting
point: rain was imminent.
The storm began. The clouds began to hiss and spit like a savage cat, and the rain fell with
the force of bullets. It was as if the day itself was as angry as she was – and she was about
to explode.
Icy cold gusts of wind knocked the dark, grey, malevolent clouds across the sky. A weak, pale
yellow sun struggled in vain to penetrate the bank of cloud; it was no use. The cold and the
dark won that battle, hands down.

Here is a grade 9 description, based on bad weather

84
Winds flexed their muscles in the East, whipping the clouds into shape, marching them
across the sky. The black jackboots of the rain tramped across the horizon, stamping cold
onto the world beneath, as though some long dead tyrant had returned, armed with
winter’s fury.
The sky put on its black cape: the closest clouds armoured in battleship grey; those coming
behind streaked with the black of coal smoke; those on the horizon dark as slate. Beneath a
watcher might shut their eyes and pray for liberation, dreaming of the cavalry of sunlight.
(Yes, another extended metaphor for you to steal!)

Here is the grade 9 description, rewritten to make it good weather

The sun dripped warmth like hot wax, both soothing and smarting the people below. The
land glowed with light, the heat so strong it dazzled. The horizon rippled, like a bronze shield
beaten by a hammer, as though some Greek God had been reborn to hurl shafts of glorious
light on the grateful crowds below.
The sky showed off its artist’s trickery: cobalt blue depths, azure outlines to the few white
clouds, a sapphire halo around the sun. Beneath, a watcher might shut their eyes and see
the sea, stretched out in lazy ripples, in a reflection of the perfect sky.

How this Boosts Your Grade

It is full of simile, sibilance, powerful verbs, alliteration, contrast, interesting use of colour,
a colon, complex sentences, accurate paragraphing, metaphor, powerful adjectives.
That’s 11 wow factors for the examiner.
If you memorise this structure and apply it in your exam, then your opening section will be
at least a grade 7. Anyone can do this. Because the whole description is marked together,
this alone will pull you up from a grade 4 to 5, or 5 to a 6, and very likely from a 6 to a 7.
Nothing is stopping you committing to this right now. You don’t want to copy it. You can
write your own, as I’ll show you.
And you can use it for each and every description question.

Applying Your Descriptive Paragraphs to Every Question

In this section you will see how I apply my paragraphs to four different pictures.
About 90% of my original paragraphs stay the same. All I do is add in some things I can easily
see in the picture.
Watch.

85
Adapted for the Beach
The sun dripped warmth like hot wax, both soothing and smarting the bathers below. The
beach glowed with light, the heat so strong it dazzled, and a thousand sun glasses took in
the view. The horizon rippled, like a bronze shield beaten by a hammer, as though some
Greek God had been reborn to hurl shafts of glorious light on the grateful sun worshipers
below.
The sky showed off its artist’s trickery: cobalt blue depths, azure outlines to the few white
clouds, a sapphire halo around the sun. Beneath, the sun bathers shut their eyes and sun
still glowed behind the blackness of their lids, yellow fire, sparking and fading. The sea
stretched out in lazy ripples, in a reflection of the perfect sky.

86
Adapted for the Mountain
The sun dripped warmth like hot wax, both soothing and smarting the young girl below. The
land glowed with light, the heat so strong it dazzled her, while her dog gazed upwards
praying for a breeze. The horizon rippled, like a bronze shield beaten by a hammer, as
though some Greek God had been reborn to hurl shafts of glorious light on the granite
peaks tearing the clouds below.
The sky showed off its artist’s trickery: cobalt blue depths, azure outlines to the few white
clouds, a sapphire halo around the sun. Beneath, a watcher might shut their eyes and see
the sea, stretched out in lazy ripples, in a reflection of the perfect sky.

87
From my online course: Master Description for GCSE (coming soon!)
The Extended Metaphor
Practising the extended metaphor is not easy. But, if you get it right, it adds at least grade 7
quality to your writing. If you get it wrong, it will add grade 6 quality to your writing. So, give
it a go.
First focus on what your subject (the thing you want to describe) does. It might help you to
quickly write a list of everything you picture it doing. Verbs, as always, are your building
blocks.
After a minute, look at your list of actions, and ask yourself this question: “what else does
something similar?” This will give you the thing to compare it to, (let’s call it the object).
Now try to jot down as many things about their appearance as possible. Start with the subject.
Each time, see if you can compare it to something about the appearance of the object.
Once you have two or more ideas, you can begin writing.
Remember, you don’t have to write metaphors as long and detailed as mine. One comparison
will still give you a metaphor! Two or three will mark you out as having more skill than a
normal student. It is such an easy way to get the top grades, once you have a few in the bank.

Example in Action
So, let’s imagine I have to describe a car as a cow.
Start by listing the verbs that cars do:
Race, drive, turn, park, overtake, brake, carry, roar.
Now think of the appearance of a car. What does it have that I might describe with words
associated with a cow?
Make a list.
• They both have horns, and can bellow.
• Horns are at the top of a cow, and cars can have roof racks on their tops.
• What do they have at their sides? Cows have ears, and cars have wing mirrors.
• The car’s exterior could be a hide, and its colours could be markings.
• Cars have grills, which can be like faces, and lights can be eyes.
• The exhaust is at the back, and expels pollutants, and the cow expels cow pats and
methane from its back.
• They are both bigger than people.
• Cows walk to their feeding in a line, which is like cars on a road.
• Cows would halt at a feeding station. Cars halt when parking, or at traffic lights.
Ok, now I have thought really hard about cars, and cows, I just need to put bits together. I
just need to think of when I would want to describe a car as a cow. Well, it wouldn’t be a
compliment. So, it could be a second hand car, which is all I can afford, or a rental car, which
is all that is available.

88
A Car: As a Cow
The car was parked at an odd angle, as though grazing at the grassy verge. Its grill flashed
silver teeth in a threatening, bovine smile.
The wing mirrors stuck out horribly, like twitching ears, while the roof rack pointed from its
head with ungainly horns.
I knew the moment I rented it, that this lump of a car would probably handle like a cow,
trundling and squirting out methane on the country lane.
I was in a hurry, so pumped the accelerator like an impatient milkmaid squeezing every last
drop. But it was old and knackered, and wouldn’t deliver any more.

Task:
Write down 5 bullet points to summarise what you have learned about extended metaphors.
1. _____________________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________________________

89
 Seafront Journey - putting it all together
(Obviously a video goes with this in the course).

Some joker has spun the street signs in a Russian roulette, so the town centre languishes on
the beach. A family circle their dog, hoping to be guided, but she’s saying nothing, unlike the
yellow coated cockle catcher, boasting next to his steaming sacks. He is mimicked by a life-
sized, custard coated fisherman, posed with a wooden fish.

Ragged flags tear at the wind. The dock comes alive with metal, clanking like a convict’s
chains. The decks of fishing boats explode with clutter: tangled nets like discarded hair
extensions, after a night out at sea; snakes of rubber rope sleep on the quay; chains and rope
lie in a coiled embrace, a parody of lovers, or modern art.

Boats are docked in pairs, secretly holding hands. The single boats, painted a blushing red,
hug the harbour walls, like shy teenagers at the school prom.

Local traders have converted beach huts, flickering with neon invitations to buy. Tourists in
their torn jeans traipse on, past the desperate coffee stalls and oyster bars. Their campervans
are washed up everywhere, like flotsam. Their dogs survey their dominions from front seat
thrones, that come and get me look in their eyes.

With the face of a giant toad, a buggy sits on the sand among sailing boats flocked on the
shore. Smaller boats lie exhausted, caught on the shingle. Families stand at the water’s edge,
dreaming of escape. A flutter of birds bathe in a puddle, sending ripples to the sky.

Pebbles carpet the beach like spat out gum: gobs of seaweed like last night spaghetti.
Ranks of groins guard against the sea’s thievery. The middle-aged meditate on stones, and
the sea’s soft susurration. Down the hill strides a lone warrior in silhouette, an extra skin of
neoprene, armour plating against the cold.

Like bare-footed Achilles, he strides towards the sea, only to find Scandinavian mothers,
careless of the cold, spinning like seals in the soft cradle of the waves.

The shore is lined with beach huts, rows of identikit commuters crowding a platform, each
clutching a balcony like an open laptop. A jogger chugs noisily down their track.
They paint their faces in pastel shades before boarding, but their faces still look blank, frozen
in Botox.

A garbage truck offers its best tortoise impression, while cyclists yearn to glide by.
The ice cream shops still advertise summer: their facades are false promises, shuttered
windows, locked doors. Even the kites are flying at half-mast; one has died in the long grass.

Empty benches watch the horizon, one with two bouquets strapped to its sides, like flaming
torches in a Shakespeare play. Two dogs and a council litter picker are the only groundlings,
more interested in each other. A lone seagull storms off like an offended critic.

A beacon stands against the wind, wearing an empty crown. It too has lost its fire.

90
(478 Words)

How to Think About the Description

1. Notice that there are 31 Metaphors - these are highlighted in yellow.

2. And there are 11 Similes highlighted in green.

• When you watch the video, you will see that I simply filmed what I saw on a day out
on the coast. Each shot lasted about 5 seconds.

• Then I wrote a description of each shot, or clip.

• This means I didn’t think about structure - I just started at point A - the port, and
finished at point B - by the beacon.

• The advantage of writing in this way is that I only think one description at a time - one
or two sentences at most. It means my writing is packed with descriptive techniques.

Task:

1. Work out where the imagery is successfully linked as a piece of writing.

2. Work out where the imagery doesn’t quite fit. I would probably get rid of the dog. And
the buggy would have to change from a frog, which is fresh water, to some sea living
creature - a seal, or a washed-up fish with bulbous eyes - you get the idea.

3. Look at the extended metaphors. I really like the train platform one. If you know
anything about Achilles, that one is pretty cool too - his mother was a sea goddess, so
he would call to her by diving into the sea when he needed her. I like the dating boats,
and the suggestion that they have had a drunken night.

4. Where has sound - harsh or soft - been used successfully, with consonance, assonance
or sibilance?

5. Where do you like the contrast, and what would you change to make a better
contrast?

Writing Task

1. Write a 300-500 word description.

2. Practise at least 5 of the techniques I have been showing you.

3. Highlight them in your writing and provide a key.

91
For your writing, either:

A. Edit my description, to make it fit together better. Or

B. Film a journey anywhere near you - a shopping trip, a walk, a visit somewhere, a
cycle ride, a trip through your garden or up your street. Whatever - no excuses - 5
seconds per clip. Then write a description for each clip. Or
C. Edit it as a video, and add your description into it, like mine.

92
(Obviously, videos come with this)
Contrast can be built around age:

Highlight the different contrasts in the example below.

He felt his hip twinge, which on its own was bearable, but as his knees were already filled with
gravel, and his knuckles filled with crushed glass, he looked for a park bench to rest at. At last,
uncomfortably damp with sweat, even in this bitter cold, he sat and propped his stick at his
side.

As the pain eased, he opened his eyes. Young mothers strolled across the park, some of them
striding even in heels, while their children shot off, left and right, only to return like
boomerangs, screaming with happiness and youth.

Memories of his young summers came back to him, and one morning, lying in the barley field
with his eyes half shut in the sunshine. When, through the swaying stalks, her red dress
flashed to him like a beacon, and Susan entered his life. She changed it forever.

Answers Age v Youth

• Highlight the different contrasts in the example below.

He felt his hip twinge, which on its own was bearable, but as his knees were already filled with
gravel, and his knuckles filled with crushed glass, he looked for a park bench to rest at. At last,
uncomfortably damp with sweat, even in this bitter cold, he sat and propped his stick at his
side.

As the pain eased, he opened his eyes. Young mothers strolled across the park, some of them
striding even in heels, while their children shot off, left and right, only to return like
boomerangs, screaming with happiness and youth.

Time: the past

Memories of his young summers came back to him, and one morning, lying in the barley field
with his eyes half shut in the sunshine. When, through the swaying stalks, her red dress
flashed to him like a beacon, and Susan entered his life. She changed it forever.

(A video goes with this too)

93
 This comes from the section on developing a Soundscape
(And of course videos go with this)

Harsh Sounds

From A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Read this extract and highlight words which sound harsh when you say them out loud.
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching,
grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no
steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster.
The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek,
stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue.

Answers to Harsh Sounds

Consonance
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching,
grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no
steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster.
The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek,
stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue.
Assonance
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching,
grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no
steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster.
The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek,
stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue.
Fricatives
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching,
grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no
steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster.
The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek,
stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue.
Sibilance
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching,
grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no
steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster.
The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek,
stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue.

94
There are 17 Grade 9, full descriptions on the course, each with explanatory videos. Here is
one of them:
A Journey Through the Seasons: Describe the same scene in different seasons.
Mountains make you happy. Their protective ring seems to reach up into the sky and pull
the sky towards you. It is impossible not to breathe. Where you absorb diesel and dust
through your pores in the city, in the mountains’ summer air your lungs fill with sky. It isn’t
only the clean taste which cleanses you from the inside, but the texture of sky. The thinner
air forces your lungs open and your body remembers what your body is for, expanding at
the rib cage, filling space as though it belongs here.
The sun, hot in the valley, invites your mind to soar upwards, and you do not resist. To climb
is to enter a new world, where the sun grows brighter as the temperature drops. Paths are
lined with wildflowers, every twenty minutes of determined ascent a new ecosystem blazes
in different colours and shapes. The mountain opens to you in bright invitation, past the ski
lift station, past the exhausted, sun-dazed ramblers, past the paragliders launching
themselves on thermal hopes, past the barren scree above the treeline until you summit,
exhausted hours later, dripping by the ice wall. Tourists arrive by gondola, sight-seers with
picnics come to visit the world’s penthouse. You do not sneer, but rejoice on the terrace
with chilled water and colder beer.
Join me now in winter. The same sun invites you, but much more eagerly. Snow has
flattened its soft mattress, its surface taut with a sheet of brilliant white. Its diamond light
hints at the hardness of morning, where night’s touch has chilled the flakes to crystal. Your
snowboard twitches beneath you, suspended from one foot, as you ride snow-wards,
upwards. The burr of the cable wire cranks gently and hums as you drink in the view,
savouring the anticipation, knowing that you will be launched off, balancing on one foot, a
picture of cool or ridicule, depending on how you control the slide.
The summit is not even half way up the full height of the next peak, where the powder
waits. The piste hurries you downward, sawing beneath your board as though trying to
sever the time between now, and the ascent on the next lift. Up there, plump and deep
above the treeline, and plumper still in the shade of the trees, huge dumps of snow spring
down the mountain slopes.
There will be bowls, and gullies, jumps and slopes, treeline slaloms for you to carve through.
Your board will float, and the soft snow will billow, with whispers, with rushing fingers
urging you faster, to bank and turn, to leap and bury yourself in landings that spring you
waist deep before propelling you upwards, downwards, onwards, go, go, go, while your
aching legs can stand it, till your thighs burn and you stop to scream your delight.
The silent valley soaks up your excitement and you gaze at the sky.
You cannot speak.

Task
1. Go through and find sentences with listed verbs. These are packed with action,
which is a great descriptive technique.

95
 2. Find where patterns are repeated. These give your sentences a rhythm.

3. Find sentences which use lists. These overload the description with lots of layers.

4. Notice how separating the description into two seasons automatically produces
contrast. The second season will be the one you prefer.

5. Notice how many sentences are constructed around a contrast.

6. Writing in the second person invites the reader more immediately into your
description.

7. Notice that each season is also presented as a journey in the mountains.

8. Notice that there are no similes, because metaphor is nearly always more powerful.
Look at the amount of yellow.

9. Pick your top 5 verbs - the ones you think help the reader picture the scene best.

10. Notice there is only one adverb - because adverbs slow down action.

11. Find three sentences where the sound of words is important. Is it sibilance,
assonance or consonance which you are good at noticing?

Writing Task (after watching the video)

• Write a description of the same place in two seasons.

• Make each description a journey through the place - (think of places are easy to
travel through - the mountains were easy for me - you will have other places).

• Write 300-500 words

96
Here’s another full mark description from the 17 in the course. (Two videos go with this).

Journey Through a Painting in an Art Gallery

Let’s imagine you are asked to describe an image. How can you describe this image instead?
You can place the first image in an art gallery. This is the image hanging next to it. Now, with
the power of contrast, you can use the first image, to lead you to the one you prefer.
If you have no picture, you can probably relate this image to anything which comes up. Let’s
have some fun describing the image.
Task 1
• Make a list of 15 things you notice in the image. Write each one as a phrase or
sentence.
• These will help you get the most out of the description when you read it.

97
Journey Through an Image Description
Starting with the second person - ‘you’ - is also a really good way of dragging the reader
into the image with you.
What do you notice first? The writing perhaps: “a load of bankers”. You scan the image for a
sexual pun, but find nothing obvious. You notice red splodges of ink in mouths, and eyes, a
mop of hair. Again, not sexual: more like blood.
Now you are lured in and you look for signs of violence. These appear to be verbal, with
mouths set in square chins. Each mouth is a jagged line, whether open or shut, and those
that are open display jagged teeth. Each face is uncomfortably close to its neighbour, as
though fighting for territory, space, the other speaker’s air.
Hands are mostly hidden, or behind backs, some curled up in a claw, as though revealing a
predatory nature, a hidden threat. The figures are all men, none of them young. They are
mostly uncompromisingly bald. You wonder if their ugliness has drawn them to banking, or
if the occupation itself has stripped them of their hair.
The harshest faces are in the centre of the canvas, screaming at each other, like caricatures
of sharks. Their mouths flail at each other. You look upwards, towards the one face which
breaks above the scrum of bodies. He’s a tall man who grimaces with a triumphant smile,
but his eyes are blank, with no pupils. They are windows to an empty soul, the price of
winning and rising to the top, perhaps.
This thought prompts you to look at the base of the scrum, or pyramid. You decide it is a
hierarchy. The men at the base look beaten. Many have turned to look at you as they sink
below the frame, cut off at eyes and noses, as though their mouths have been silenced.
It is a puzzling image. The men all seem to fixate on each other. They are not interested in
you at all. You wonder how they earn their money, because the artist does not suggest they
are exploiting the viewer. They desire much more to dominate each other. Perhaps it is a
hopeful image, which imagines the whole banking system as a failure about to happen. At
some point soon, the picture suggests, these men will turn on each other like hyenas, and
tear each other apart. Perhaps the artist has gathered them here in the hope that it will
happen now, so that more red ink can splatter the frame.
In the bottom left hand corner, the artist has signed his name, with the date, 2002. Even
these numbers look like eyes between two ears, as though history is watching. You wonder
if the artist saw the banking crisis of 2008 coming. You worry that one of the bankers looks
like you.

Others Things You Might Take From This Description

• As always, verbs are most powerful. Pick 5 which you think are important here.
• Contrast is king. Winners v losers, verbal violence v physical violence, hands v claws,
man v animal, colour red v black and white, what we see and what the artist might
intend us to think…
• The circular structure, focusing on the change in ‘you’.
• How each paragraph ends with a kind of question.
• Ideas listed in threes.

98
 • How ‘as though’ works as a kind of simile.
• How much of the description is simply describing what you actually see.
• Deliberate repetition of words: you, perhaps, as though, hidden, each,

Description Task: Art Gallery Image Journey

1. Write a description which is a journey through this image. (250 - 450 words)
2. Address the reader directly as ‘you’.
3. Structure your paragraphs, if you can, so that they each end with a question
or doubt - use as though, perhaps, wonder etc to help you do this.
4. Submit your task

99