Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Helping Children Adjust To Divorce: A Guide For Teachers
Helping Children Adjust To Divorce: A Guide For Teachers
Human
Human Development
Environmental Helping Children
Sciences
Extension
Adjust to Divorce
A Guide for Teachers
ur ee
du
Kim Leon, Human Development State Extension Specialist
Leanne Spengler, Human Development Specialist, University of Missouri
Extension in Pike County
so - S
i.e
A pproximately one of every two
divorces in Missouri (51 percent)
is -
involves children. Although children
whose parents divorce are at greater
m on
risk for problems such as aggression,
depression, lower self-esteem and
poorer school performance, most chil-
dren adjust to the divorce successfully.
Approach
n. si
However, the adjustment process is
stressful and takes time. It is typical for The approach is the framework partner-
io er
children to experience distress for 1-2 used for working with families. The ship. All
years following the divorce. partnership approach emphasizes families have
families and schools working together strengths, even
ns v
Schools can play an important role toward the shared goal of ensuring all if they face many
in helping children make a positive students’ success in school. Using a challenges. Some
te ive
adjustment to their parents’ divorce. partnership model involves three things: strengths of single-
This guide suggests ways that schools, (1) two-way communication, (2) appre- parent families and
preschools and childcare centers can ciating family strengths, and (3) mutual stepfamilies are:
support children through difficult family problem-solving. • Flexibility. Children learn
transitions. By working together, fami- Two-way communication is essen- to adapt to changes and to live in
ex ch
lies and schools can form a network tial for a successful partnership. This environments with different rules
of support that promotes healthy child means that parents keep teachers and expectations
development. informed about important events in • Multiple role models and
Ar
There are four key elements their child’s home life, and teachers extended kin network. Children
of successful family-school keep parents informed about their living in stepfamilies often have
relationships — approach, child’s school activities. If parents have several adult role models in their
attitudes, atmosphere and recently experienced stressful life tran- lives and a large network of grand-
action. These four categories organize sitions, such as divorce or remarriage, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins.
ideas for how schools can support their attention may be focused on the • Greater independence and matu-
children through family transitions. events in their lives. It may take extra rity. Children living in single-parent
initiative from teachers to obtain infor- families may be given greater
mation. responsibility for household tasks.
Appreciating family strengths is They can gain a sense of compe-
also essential for forming a successful tence and independence if they are
achieve in school, they are less likely to volunteer can recruit other parents to Resources
develop other problems. Parents may participate in school activities, making Center for Effective Parenting,
need information about how to help a special effort to reach out to single http://parenting-ed.org. Their Web site
their children succeed in school. Send parents, nonresidential parents and includes information on home-school
home a handout at the beginning and stepparents. partnerships, as well as many other
middle of the school year offering tips parenting topics, parenting handouts,
for improving study habits. If a child is Classroom activities and materials and links for educators.
having problems with completing home- There are many ways you can
work assignments, talk with parents integrate efforts to support children Missouri Families,
about using daily report cards to facili- with divorced parents into your daily http://missourifamilies.org. Provides
tate communication between home and classroom routine. You can incorporate information on a variety of family topics
school. See http://parenting-ed.org for activities that: including divorce.
free parent handouts about improving • encourage understanding of different
study skills, using daily report cards, types of families, National Coalition for Parent
and many other topics. • help children communicate about Involvement in Education,
their family, http://ncpie.org/. Gives tips for devel-
Encourage all parents to engage in • increase self-esteem, oping family-school partnerships; has
learning activities with their child at • help children appropriately express an extensive list of resources
home feelings, and
This is the most effective form • support positive parent-child rela- ParentLink, 1-800-552-8522,
of parent involvement for promoting tionships. http://outreach.missouri.edu/parentlink.
student achievement. There are a Such activities benefit all children Ask questions about any parenting situ-
variety of learning activities parents — not just those who have experienced ation; check out books, videos, or other
can do with their children at home. For parental divorce. You can also choose resources about parenting.
example, parents can be encouraged curriculum materials that portray dif-
to read, explore educational Web sites ferent types of families positively. Parents as Teachers, http://patnc.
(see Resource list at the end of this Finally, if you include activities that may org. Provides services to help parents
guide), or play word or number games make some children feel excluded or support their children’s learning. The
with their children, help with homework, uncomfortable, such as making Moth- website contains information about the
and take their children on educational er’s Day or Father’s Day cards or gifts, location of local programs.
outings, such as museums or the public adapt them so that all children feel
library. included. Allow children to make items
for all of the significant adults in their
Encourage parent networking lives, if possible.
Rebuilding a supportive network
is an important part of the process of
parents’ adjustment to divorce. Schools Conclusion
can provide opportunities for parents In conclusion, many children expe-
to interact with other parents. One way rience parental divorce and live in a
to do this is to recruit parent volunteers stepfamily for part of their lives. Schools
to coordinate events for parents, such can support children through family
as breakfast at school. Parents may transitions by taking a partnership
be able to attend a breakfast meeting approach, having informed attitudes,
before work. Another idea is to ask a creating an atmosphere that welcomes
parent volunteer to create a parent- all types of families, and taking action
to-parent newsletter. Parents can con- that supports all children and parents.
tribute articles and the teacher could
notify parents about upcoming events
in the newsletter. Finally, a parent
University of Missouri-Columbia
Educational Web For more information
sites for parents See GH 6600, Helping Children
and children Understand Divorce, and GH 6602,
Activities for Helping Children Deal with
http://nationalgeographic.com Divorce. Call 1-800-292-0969 to order
The National Geographic Web a copy of either publication. For more
site includes activities for children, as information, please visit the MU Exten-
well as a section with information for sion Web site at:
parents on helping children with home- http://muextension.missouri.edu/
work. explore/
http://nytimes.com/learning/parents/
athome/index.html
This Web site provides activities
for using New York Times newspaper
articles to enhance children’s learning
at home.
http://school.discovery.com/school-
home.html
This Web site includes math and
science information and activities for
children and a section with information
for parents on helping with homework.
References
Berger, E. H. (2000). Parents as
Partners in Education: Families and
Schools Working Together. New Jersey:
Prentice Hall.
Christensen, S.L, & Sheridan, S.M.
(2001). Schools and Families: Creating
Essential Connections for Learning.
New York: The Guilford Press.
Coleman, M., Ganong, L.H., &
Henry, J. (1984). What teachers should
know about stepfamilies. Childhood
Education, 60, 306-309.
Long, N. & Forehand, R. (2002).
Making Divorce Easier on Your Child:
50 Effective Ways to Help Children
Adjust. Chicago: Contemporary Books.
University of Missouri-Columbia
Information Card
1. Name_______________________________________ Child’s name ___________________________________
3. If you do not live with your child’s other parent, what is the parenting arrangement (check all that apply):
❏ I have sole legal custody.
❏ I have joint legal custody.
❏ I have joint physical custody.
❏ I have educational rights as specified by the ____________________________.
❏ I have a private agreement with the other parent.
4. Please list the name and phone number of adults who are involved in this child’s life.
• Biological mother ______________________________________ phone # ______________________________
• Biological father _______________________________________ phone # ______________________________
• Stepfather ___________________________________________ phone # ______________________________
• Stepmother __________________________________________ phone # ______________________________
• Relative _____________________________________________ phone # ______________________________
• Guardian ___________________________________________ phone # ______________________________
• Other _______________________________________________ phone # ______________________________
6. Please indicate which adults may be involved with each of the following activities by writing their name(s) on the
appropriate line.
• Parent-teacher conference _______________________________________________________________________
7. Please indicate to whom and where the following correspondence should be mailed:
• Report cards: Name_________________________________ Name ________________________________
Address _______________________________ Address ______________________________
_____________________________________ _____________________________________
■ Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension Work Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the United States Department
of Agriculture. Thomas A. Henderson, Interim Director, Cooperative Extension, University of Missouri, Columbia, MO 65211. ■ University of
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