6 April 2023

Dear Atty. Reyes:

I am Karen Cruz, Filipino, 30 years old, born on May 30, 1992, married, residing at No. 1
Del Pilar Street, Sampaloc, Manila. I work as a sales clerk in SM Manila. I studied BS Education
and stopped after second semester in my 3rd year in Normal University.

It was on September 23, 2017 when I first met my husband, Cesar Cruz, in my friend’s
birthday party, Diana Sena, in Tondo, Manila. It was love at first sight. My husband finished a
two year vocational course on Computer Science in STI, Manila.

There were lots of people in the party but I only laid eyes on my husband. He was tall,
dark and handsome. His birthday was on November 6, 1989. Because there were lots of alcohol,
I think I drank too much. The alcohol took over me and I had no inhibitions. They say, alcohol
makes you braver and removes your inhibition. That night, I was like a different person. We
talked and talked about anything and everything. We shared our past and family life. Just like me
his parents are separated because his father have another wife. Because I have no father, I
worked for our family and stopped in 3rd year college. My husband finished college but only
special course. At that first sight, I thought we were perfect and meant for each other. I didn’t
want to be away from him so we stayed till 2 am at the party. Then he dropped me home.

When we were in front of my house, I didn’t want to say goodbye. So we stood at the
door. After a while, I said goodbye and went inside.

When I got inside, I received a text from him. The text said, I miss you. I replied, I miss
you too! From then, we always texted each other everyday. I was even caught texting him at
work which is a violation of our rules. I was given a memo one time when I was caught by our
manager texting my husband.

Two days after we first met, after my shift, he surprised me. He brought flowers and
chocolates. He treated me and we ate. He did this every once a week. After two weeks of
courting, we became boyfriends and girlfriends. We would always go to parks, movies and his
mother’s house when I have free time. I introduced him immediately to my friends and co-
workers.

Two months and he always brought me flowers and chocolates. But one time, two week
passed and he didn’t give me flowers and chocolates. But of course, I didn’t mind. I didn’t want
those. While eating in a restaurant on 29 November 2017, he proposed to me to marry him. Of
course, I wanted to so I said yes. We cried and that night, we consummated our love. He was not
my first boyfriend. So he knew I was not a virgin anymore.

Then we immediately prepared our wedding. We immediately applied for a

After the wedding, we lived in their home. We lived in one of the rooms in the house.
Although I objected to living in that house, I had no choice. My money was not enough to pay
for a rent. Even if we rent a room, it will be not enough. I agreed but I was hesitant. I think it was
for the better because we need money and we need to save money for our future. What I did is
just give little money to his mother for the bill and market. At this time, he had no work. He was
just laid off by his employer. So I worked for the two of us but he promised that he will work. It
was hard to find job at this time.

After a while, our marriage was ok. His mother was so kind and didn’t mind if we live in
her house. On May 2018, after I come home from work, and while his mother and other siblings
were in their province in Nueva Ecija to attend to his grandfather’s wake, I saw that the house
was unkept and dirty. The used dishes were still on the lavatory. There were lots of bottles of
beer on the table and he was there sleeping on sofa watching tv. He didn’t eat because he didn’t
cook food. Even if I was tired, I cooked and cleaned. I washed and went to sleep. After a while,
he went in our room and told me to get up to buy him more beer in a nearby sari-sari store owned
by Aling Grace. I answered him to buy it himself because he will drink it anyway. He raised his
voice and also his hand. He slapped me on my face. I had no choice but to get up and buy him
three bottles of San Miguel Pale Pilsen.

I was very scared. It was the first he hit me and shouted at me. The next morning, he
apologized. He said he was just very drunk and upset that his grandfather died. So I forgive him.

When we were ok again, I asked my husband if we could move to out of his mother’s
house. I said that I would pay for our rent as I will get a bonus for my performance. I said that it
is best for us so we can really be husband and wife and independent. With our own house, we
will get to know each other better and not depend on his mother. To my surprise, he got angry.
He said that he is not inutile and his mother’s house was enough for us. He raised his voice and
held my hands tightly. I begged him to remove my hand because it will bruise. He didn’t remove
his hand until I say that he is not inutile.

After six months from our wedding, my husband still has no work. he stay out with his
barkada and go home at morning. When he is drunk, we abuse me and hit me. One time, on July
2018, he went home drunk at 4 am. He ordered me to cook food because there is still no food. I
told him that I have no sleep yet because my shift was until 12 but I off at 1 am and arrived at 2
am. He pulled me from the bed forcefully which was painful. He almost broke my arms. He was
stronger and bigger than me. He was 5’8 and I was just 5’. He pulled my arm from the bed to the
door which was six meters. And he dragged me. So I asked him to stop and cooked lucky me
chicken noodles for him because it was easy. But as soon as I gave him the plate, he poured the
hot noodles on me and told me that why would I serve him instant food. He is not sick and he
wanted real food. He said that it was because I earned money and he did not that is why I have
no respect for him. Even if I am sleepy, I cooked him fried egg and rice.
 After, I went back to bed and I cried a lot. He did not sleep on the bed with me but slept
on the sala.

His mother was very concerned when she saw my eyes inflamed because I cried the
whole day. She talked to my husband and convince him to be kinder to me. She told him to get a
job and while he was still looking for a job, we will be staying in our own room and not in her
house anymore. She said that so he will not be drinking a lot anymore and away from his
barkada.

On April 2018, I asked him to come with me to my grandmother Lola Nena Manansala’s
wake after dying of a heart attack. He said that he was not feeling well. On that morning, I saw
him go out of the house and visit his barkada, our neighbor Arnold De Leon. When he went
home at 1 pm, he already smelled gin. He was singing and said to me that he hates me and wala
raw akokwentapuropagbungangalangangalamkogawin. Akalako ay kung sinonaako eh kayang
kaya namanniya kami buhayinsaperanainaabot ng mama niya. He slapped me in the face and my
face turned red. I felt numbing on the face after a few hours and put ice on it.

After sometime, my husband took his mother’s proposal. His mother paid for our room
near SM San Lazaro at 78-B Elena St., San Lazaro, Manila.

We were ok after then. I think the new place was a new beginning for the two of us.
However, when I talk about that he is a tambay, he complains that he has no decent clothes to
wear on interviews. On Christmas on 2018, I received a bonus. As part of the bonus, we were
given gift vouchers where we can buy products from the SM Department Store and SM
Supermarket which I used and bought him clothes and shoes he can use for his interview.

After that, he bought a bio-data in a nearby sari-sari store. He also went to SM to have a
1x1 photo ID. Because it was hard to find work at this time, it took him many months to find a
job. I even bought newspaper or Job Ads to help him. Until onMarch 2019, he found a job. He
went home and brought one dozen of Dunkin Donuts.

After that, he woke up at 6 am and get ready for work and go home at 6 pm. For two
months my husband went to work. until one time, after my shift at work, I visited his mother. To
my surprise, he was there also and when I thought he will be working. I asked him why he didn’t
go to work and he answered that it was his day-off. However, sometimes, he would not wake up
at 6 am anymore and woke up at 9 am instead. I told him that he can’t be late at work because he
will be terminated. He said that his work schedule was changed. After a while, I observed that he
doesn’t go to work regularly. Sometimes, he just goes to work two times a week and is also late.
He sometimes go to work at 12 pm already. I got suspicious. On June 2019, I confronted him to
ask him if he was terminated already. And angrily, he shouted at me that he was not really
employed. He never was. He just pretended that he went to work so he can get away from me
and my nagging. He said that he had enough. I was very angry. I realized that my husband was a
big liar. I didn’t think that he is person I married four years ago. I also had enough.
 We fought and fought and he physically abuse me. He hit me on my stomach. I cried and
he said that he would leave me. He said that he had enough of my nagging and forcing him to
work when his allowance from his mother was enough for the both of us. I begged him to not
leave me but he left and went to his mother’s house.

Now I live in our room alone and he lived in his mother’s house. We don’t live together
anymore. We also didn’t have any babies. He said that he was not ready for babies yet. We’re
still young and children are big responsibility. My husband said that a baby needs milk and
diaper everyday and will cry everyday and everynight to sleep. We will not be sleeping anymore.

One time, when Luzviminda visited me with her three children, Christine, Carlo,
Criselda, my husband shouted. The children were very noisy and watch tv. The children will not
stop crying and destroy the house. I was scared. I didn’t know that he hates noisy and children.

During our conversation, you also asked me to write about our sexual relationship. Of
course, I am hesitant about telling you this because I think it is too personal. But if it will help
me, I will tell you. During our first time, after we got engaged, he was too quick. I thought that
maybe because he was too excited for me because it was first time. It was not my first time. I
have a previous boyfriend, Mark Lopez for three years. Because he went abroad to work in
Dubai as a waiter, we broke up. It was a long distance relationship and we only see each other
once a year. He stayed here in the Philippines for one month only and while he was here, we are
living together like husband and wife.

But unlike Mark, my husband was too quick. He will touch me once a month only.
Maybe he was like that because I not virgin anymore when he touched me. Maybe because he
was angry that I have a boyfriend before him. That is also why I think my husband is not gay.

Sincerely yours,

Karen Manansala Cruz