DANGEROUSATTRACTI

ON:
KRI
STI
N'SDI
ARY€
*
*
*
*
*INTRODUCTI
ON*
*
.
.
Her:
babydon'
tcry,
ohhmybaby
.Ihav
ewaited
fort
hisdayal
lmylif
eandyoul
ooksobeauti
ful
sweethear
tsodon'
tcry
..

Shesaidasshewi pedawaymyt ears,

Ismi led
throughmytears.Ilookedatmyr efl
ectionandI
didlookbeaut
iful.Thewhiteweddi ngdr essthat
huggedmybodywasr eall
ybeautiful
,myhai r
perfect
lymade.Itwasmyweddi ngdayandGod
knowsIdon'tregretbeingheretoday ,Idon't
regrett
hedecisionsthatImadei nmyl i
fe
becauset
heyar
etheonest
hatbr
oughtme
here.

Her:
Itol
dyouKrissy..
youmybabyy
ouar
e
dest
inedtohappiness.
..
Me:
Il
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.

Iwhi
sper
edsof
tl
y.
.

Her:
ofcause,
Ihopethatyoungmanknowshow
l
uckyheistohaveyou..
.
.
.
Il
ookedreal
lybeauti
ful
,Ir
eal
lyf
eltbeaut
if
ul.
SoonenoughIwi l
lbesomeone'
swifeandI
l
ovedthefeel
ing.Toeventhi
nkonedayIwas
sofr
agil
e.
.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
.
.
Fr eespiri
tedpeopl e, f
unnypeopl e,
the'gof orit
'
ki
ndofpeopl e,t
he'Idon' tgiveashi t't
ypeof
peopleorhowev erwayt heycanbedescr i
bed
certai
nlywasnotme!Lowsel fconfidence,low
selfesteem, shy ,
scar edwasmeandnot hing
coulddescr ibemebet t
ert hanthosewor ds.I
wasal way sscar edandt hatnev erbotheredme
butIwon' texact l
ysayIwasal oner,
tocuti tal
l
shortcryingwasmybestf ri
end.Ihadpeopl e
whol ovedme, admi redmeandenv iedme.Was
i
tf ri
endsorf ami ly
.Iwasbeaut i
fulandst il
lIam
Imustsay .Ev er
ybodyknewi tandsodi dIbut
somet imesInev erreallyfeltbeautif
ul.They
al
way ssaidIhav et heBey once+Al i
ciaKey s
typeofbody .Ihad\ stil
lhav ebigey eswhi chat
somepoi ntannoy edmeandi rr
it
atedmebut
peopleseemedt ot hinktheymadememor e
beautif
ul.Beingami xedracet omeatsome
pointwasacur se,Iwi shedt obebl ack, Iwi shed
tohav enat ur
al afrot ypeofhai rnotcur l
ysof t
hair,
IwishedIhadsmal leyesandIwi shedIhad
browney es. .
thecol ourofmyey esisr at her
scary.
.Itsnotoceani corany thi
ngi thast he
colouroff i
re..
abi tofr ed,yel
lowandor ange.I
alwayshadt owearl ensesbecauset heymade
mef eellessbeaut i
ful.That showi felt4y ears
downt hel i
nebutTodayi t
'smyweddi ngdaybut
am goingt ost artmyst orywhenIwasst i
ll18
yearsold.Iam Kr i
stinThompsonbutt heycal l
meKr issy,bewi thmeandl etmet akey ouupon
myj ourneyofl ifethatbr oughtmeher e.Butone
thi
ngIcanassur ey ou,itwasn'tallsweet !!
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY

#I
nser
t1
.
.
SAMUEL
.
.
.
Me:
howt
hef
uckdi
dhef
indout
??
Mike:
Idon'
tknowbutBandi
l
eknowswet ook
hi
sdiamonds..
.Andhe'
scomingaf
terus!
Me:
FuckFuckFuck!
!!
!!

Wewer edi
stur
bedbymyphoner i
ngi
ng,itwas
anunknownnumber.
..Ihesi
tat
edtoanswerbut
Idi
dattheend.

Me:
speakup
Cal
l
erI
D:notav
erygoodwayt
ogr
eetpeopl
e
Sam

Iknewthatv
oicev
erywel
l
,i
twasBandi
l
eno
doubt
.

Me:
Igr
eetpeopl
ethewayIf
eel
Hi
m:Isee.
.somydi
amonds.
.WhencanIexpect
t
hem Sam?

Thewayhewassocal m wasj ustnotmaking

mef eelatease..Thisisav erydangerousdrug
Lor d.
..Agangsterleader.
..
andi t'
soddf orhi
mt o
besocal mlikethis.
..Whatt hefuckwasIev en
thinkingwhenIst olehis
diamonds. .
.money ,t
hat'
swhaty ouwer e
thinking.
.Myi nnerselfscreamed. .
.

Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
?
Him:okf
ine,
thenIguessyouwill
knowwhatam
tal
ki
ngaboutwheny oursi
steri
sdead.
.orev
en
bett
erwhenImakehermymul e.
..
Me:
stayt
hef
uckawayf
rom mysi
ster
s..
!
Him:
ohhhhIf or
gottheyar
et wo.
..
Imeant
hebi
g
one.
..
Kri
sti
n..Suchabeauti
fulgi
rl
..So
i
ntel
l
igent
..
Me:Iwi
ll
giv
eyouy
ourst
uffback,
giv
eme2
day
s..
Hi
m:y
ouwil
lhaveyoursi
sterbackaf
terIhav
e
mydi
amonds.
.Wil
ltal
k

Andwithsai
dthathehungup..Ithr
ewmy
phoneagai
nstthewal
lvi
olent
lythatitbr
oket
o
pi
eces.
..

Mi
ke:
and?
Me:
he'
sgoi
ngaf
terKr
ist
in!
!he'
sgoi
ngaf
termy
si
ster
!!
.
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
Iam checki ngmy selfont hemi rr
orint he
mor ning,Ihol dmyhai rintoaneatbun. ..Make
funnyf acesont hemi r
rort henafterthatIlaugh
atmysi ll
i
ness. .
.Somet i
mesIj ustwishmyey es
werej ustbr ownorbl ackorev enbet ter
oceani c..
buttheyar eacol ourofyell
ow, or
ange
andr edmi xed.SoIhav et oputcont actsmost
ofthet ime,toav oidlooki ngwei rdinfrontof
otherst udents.Ihav esof tcurl
yhair,
somet i
mes
tomebei ngAmi xedr acei t'
sjustanunwant ed
curse...Beingdi f
ferentf rom otherkidsand
constant l
yf eeli
ngl eftouthast urnedmei nto
someonewi thl owsel fest eem andl owsel f
confidence.Am a18y earol dgi rlwhoschool s
atLegaeAcademy ..
..Ist aywi thmymom and
sist
er ,Alexandr abutwecal lherAl ex.
..She's16
andschool satRai nbal l.
.Bot hmeandmysi ster
wehav et hesamef ather ,Tay lorwhosean
Amer icanwhi teassni gga. ..Thoughhes
marr i
ed,hest illful
fil
lsHi sf ather lyduties,he
vi
sitseachandev eryhol i
dayf or2weeks
maxi mum t ojustseeus. ..andIal sohav eone
brother,Samuel butwecal lhim Sam. .hesi n
Harvar d.
.that'swer eheschool sandi sdoi nghi s
l
asty eari nMedi ci
net here. .Andi fy ouar e
wonder i
ngSam doesn' tshar et hesamef ather
asus, wedon' tknowwhohe' sf atherisand
mom nev erreallytalksabouti t.
..AsIwasst il
l
l
ooki ngatmy selfont hemi rrorIhear da
chucklef rom t hebed. .ItwasAl ex,nodoubt ...
Wedohav esepar ater oomsj ustt hatshej ust
l
ikessl eepingi nmyr oom wi thme. ..
Me:
what
?

Isai
dlooki
ngatherf
rom t
hemi
rr
or.
..

Her
:Iwi
shIwasasbeaut
if
ulasy
ou.
.
Me:
buty
ouar
e..
.
Her:
Iam notcurv
ali
ciousasyou.
.Idon'
thave
di
mplesorat i
nysmoot hvoi
ceasy our
s..
Me:youarebeaut
if
ulasyouarebabyandif
anyonedoesn'
tseeitt
henit
'st
heirl
oss.
..
and
sometimesIdowishIwasconfi
dentasyou..

Isai
dasIwal
kedt
othebedandsatbesi
des
her.
.

Her:
andwiseli
keyou,Iwonderhowcomey
ou
don'
thav
ef r
iends.
..
Me:
i
tsf
ort
hebest
..
.pl
usIdohav
eaf
ri
end.
.
Her
:Tshepang?
?It
sonl
yone.
..
Me:andam cool byhi
m..i
fIwereyouIwoul
dbe
wakinguprightnow..
.t
heschoolbusi
sgoingt
o
l
eavey ou.
.
Her
:uuur
ggIhat
eSchool
..

Shesai
dbur
yingherheadi
nsi
det
hebl
anket
s..
.

Me:wellIcan'
thelpyouonthatone..Ialsodon'
t
l
ikeschool i
fthatmakesyoufeelbetter
...
.

AsIwasstil
ltal
ki
ngt ohermyphoner ang,i
t
wasTshepangbutIcallhi
m Tshepi
e,andas
Al
exhavesaidIonlyhaveonefri
end.
..He's
male.
.weschoolatthesameschoolbut
di
ff
erentcl
asses.
.Wehav ebeenfri
endsev er
si
nceForm1andt odaywedoingForm5. .
..
our
Fri
endshiphasr
eal
l
ycomel
ongway
..I
answered..

Me:
hey
Hi
m:wher
eyouat
?
Me:
homey
ou?
?
Hi
m:met
oo.
..
let
'scat
chami
nibust
oschool
.
.
Me:Ihat
ethoset
hings.
.howaboutaf
terschool
atl
east?
Hi
m:st
il
lok.
..
Me:
Iwi
shIdi
dn'
thav
etogot
oschool
Hi
m:I
'
veal
way
ssuspect
edy
oudon'
tl
ikeschool
.
.
Me:Il
ikeschool
,
thepr
obl
em i
swaki
ngupi
n
suchcol
ds..
.
Him:t
ell
meabouti
t.
..
thankHeav
ensweal
most
done.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
sov
arsi
ty?
?
Hi
m:hav
en'
tdeci
ded.
..You?
Me:
wast
hinki
ngHar
var
d..
Hi
m:y
ouwannaf
oll
owSam'
sfoot
steps?
Me:
yeahwhynotbutIwi
l
lbest
udy
ingLaw.
..
Him:
i
twouldn'
tbesuchabadt
hingt
ogot
othe
sameUni
versi
ti
es.
.
Me: y
eah..
Imeanitwi
ll
befuni
fweschooledat
thesameschool..
ummhTshepi
epleasehol
d
on..IneedtowakeupsomeMrshere.
.
Hi
m:Al
ex?
Me:
yeah.
.

Iplacedthephonedownthenwentandgrabbed
theblanket
sthrowi
ngthem ont
hefloor
..

Her
:whatt
he?
Me:
wakeup.
.
Her
:am notgoi
ngt
oday
..
Me:
am t
ell
i
ngmom.
.

Shestoodupandwal kedt
othebathr
oom
mumbl i
ngonlywhatshecanhear
..
.Ishookmy
headasIpickedupmyphone..

Me:
am back.
..
Hi
m:she'
sawake?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lwai
tfory
ouatt
heGat
eay
t??
Me:
cool.
..
byt
hewayy
ouneedt
otel
lmeabout
Kel
etso.
.
Hi
m:webr
okeup.
.
Me:
shet
oldme.
.
Hi
m:mxm.
..
why
?
Me:
shewant
smet
otal
ktoy
ou.
..
Hi
m:wat
senwa(
she'
scr
azy
?
Me:ngwanaomongwewagor
atar
ra(
thatchi
l
d
l
ovesyou)
Him:
so?kerengy
aanongnna?(
Whatshoul
di
sayt
hen?)
Me:
Igi
veup.
.
Him:
maybeyout
ell
mewhyy
ouar
est
il
lsi
ngl
e
buty
oudoi
ngfor
m5
Me:
Iwantt
ofocusonschool
..
.
Hi
m:met
oo.
..That
'swhywebr
okeup.
.
Me:
l
ies!
!
Him:
Ial
sowannabeat
opst
udenti
nschool
just
l
ikey
ou.
..
Me:
buty
ouar
e..
.
Hi
m:Iwantt
obemor
ethany
ou.
.
Me:
ohhwel
lOK.
..Lookam comi
ngnow.
.
Hi
m:met
oo
Welaughedrightbef
oredr
oppingt
hecall
.It
ook
mybagt henwenttomybathroom wer
eAlex
wasbathing.
..

Me:
am goi
ngAl
ex
Her
:ok.
..
sayhi
toy
ourhotf
ri
end.
..Tboy
..

SometimesIf or
getaboutthestupidcrushshe
hasonTshepi e.
.i
t'
sjusthi
lar
iousifyouaskme
consi
deringthatTshepiedoesn'
tevenlookat
herli
kethat.
..
.

Me:okIwi
l
l.
..
bequi
k..
.t
heschool
buswi
l
lleav
e
you.
..
Her
:okby
e..
.
Me:
bye
Itookmybagthenwentdownst
air
swer
eI
foundmom eat
ing.
..
.

Her
:Thankheav
ensl
et'
sgo.
..
Me:
arewel
ate.
.

Isai
dlooki
ngatmywr
istwat
ch.
..

Her:
no,
butNt
habel
engwant
sal
i
ft.
.hercar
br
okedown..
Me:
okky
..
.
Her
:isAl
exawake?
Me:
yep.
.

Isai
dtaki
nganappl eandputti
ngiti
nmy
bag,
usual
lyinthemorningIdon'
thave
appet
it
e..
.Idon'tknowwhybutIjustf
indi
tso
hardt oeatint
hemor ni
ng.
.Mymom dr opsme
atschool andpi
cksmeupbot h.
..Whi
leAlex
refused..Sher
athergoeswit
haschoolbus
thanhermomscar .
..
accor
dingt
oherits
embar rassi
ng.
.
Mom:
l
et'
sgo.
.

Shesai
dwal
ki
ngout
sidet
oherBMW X6.
..
.
Wegoti nandt henshest ar t
eddr i
v i
ngt o
school..Itookmyphoneandst artedspeaki ng
toTshepi e..Li
keIhav esai dTshepangi smy
onlyfri
end. .
.He'smybestf ri
end. ..Inev erreal
ly
want edtobef ri
endswithany onei fit
snot
Tshepang, Ifeelli
ketheot hergi rl
sdon' tli
keme
soIr at
herkeepmydi st
ance. .theIonl yper sonI
tal
kt othatmuchi sKeletso,shesi tsbesi desme
i
nmycl ass. .
.Asf ormyot hercl assmat est hey
onlytalktomewhent heyneedhel porj ust
sayinghi andt hat'
sthatandt obef r
ankl y
honestI tdoesn'tbotherme. ..Lasty earIonce
gotslappedbysomegi rl whoclaimedIwas
steal
ingherboyfr
iend.
..Itwasar eal
lysti
cky
si
tuationi
fyouaskme. ..Andf rom thereInever
befri
endmy sel
fwithboy s..
Iseriousl
ydon'twant
unnecessarydr
amai nmyl i
fe..
.
AsIwassti
llt
alki
ngwithTshepangon
What
sApp..
.Whent hecarstoppedi
ndi
cat
ing
wehadarr
ived.
.

Mom:
okt
ake.
.

ShehandedmeP50.
.

Me:
okt
hanksby
e..

Isai
dget
ti
ngof
fthecar
..

Her
:Il
ovey
ou.
.
Shescreamedasshedr oveaway .
.Iwalked
towardsthegatewher eIsawTshepi ewithhis
otherfr
iendsDy l
an,
Bakangbutwecal lhi
m BK
andAnt ony..He'
sactuall
yfrom Zi
mbabwe. .
.If
youaskmet heyareallgoodlooki
ng...
.Allof
them..Iwalkeduptothem, Tshepi
estoodupas
soonashesawme. .

Ant
ony
:Kr
is
Me:
heyAnt
ony
..
Dyl
an.
..
BK.
.

Dy
lan:
Ruby
..
.

Dylanusual
lycal
lsmeRubyduetomyeyes
beingbi
g..
okmay bej
ustabi
tbigandontopof
thatIwearspect
acl
es.
..
..
BK:
babes.
..
Me:
hey
yy.
..
Dyl
an:y
ousoundl
i
kea5y
earol
d..
yourv
oicei
s
soti
ny
Me:
that
'snotni
ce.
.
Dy
lan:
Itst
het
rut
h..
..
Tshepang:
he'
sly
ing.
.
Me:
Iknow.
..
BK:
sohowar
eyouf
utur
ewi
fe?
Dy
lan:
iny
ourdr
eamsr
ight
?

Thisi
showt heyar
e,ev
ery
day..
.Someti
mesI
evenwonderhowtheyarefr
iends.
..

Me:
ummmh.
.Ihav
eto.
..
gonow.
.
Tshepang:
l
etmewal
kyou.
.
West ar
tedwal
ki
ngt
omyclass..
.Though
Tshepangwassmel
l
ingsomethi
ng..
Me:
youhav
ebeensmoki
ng?
Hi
m:no.
.
Me:
Ithoughty
ouqui
t.
.
Hi
m:andIdon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
eonabout
Me:
am notst
upi
d..
Icansmel
li
t.
.
Hi
m:somet
hingi
swr
ongwi
thy
ournose.
.
Me:
Isee
Hi
m:okj
ustabi
t.
.
Me:
why
?
Him: Ismokeweedtoreli
efstr
ess..
.havi
ng
parent swhoar
ediv
orcingandalway sfi
ghti
ng
i
nfr ontofyoui
snotreall
yfun..
it
sst r
essf
ul.
.
Me:
theyar
est
il
lati
t?
Hi
m:y
ep
Me:
am sor
ry.
.
Hi
m:nah.
.i
tscool
..

Byt
henwewer
eal
readyi
nfr
ontofmycl
ass.
.
Me:
seey
ouatbr
eak?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Iwi
l
lbeher
e..
.wai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
okcool

Igoti
nsi
dethecl
assandwentst
rai
ghtt
omy
chai
r,
Kel
etsowasal
readyi
n..
.
Her
:hey
..
Me:
hi.

Isatdownandt
ookoutmyl
i
ter
atur
ebook.
.

Her
:ummh.
.di
dyout
alkt
oTshepi
e?
Me:
yeah.
..
hesay
shewant
stof
ocusonschool
.
.
Her
:t
hat'
scr
apandweallknowi
t.
.Het
oldme
hel
ovesSomeoneel
se.
..
Me:
hesai
dthat
?
Her:
yeah.
..Thi
sisnotaboutschool
.
.hel
oves
someoneelseandthat'
sthat
!!
Me:
am sor
ry.
.
Her
:i
tsok.
.

Shestoodupwi t
htearsinhereyesandwalked
out,
Icanimaginewhatshemustbegoi ng
thr
ough..
.Imeana1y earrel
ati
onshi
p..
.

Wewer enowi naLit

eraturel
esson..t
heteacher
wasntinsotherewasaccept abl
enoiseandt he
momenthewal kedi
nthewhol eclasswent
si
l
ent,Kelet
sowasst i
llnotback.
..
Iguessshe
wassti
llcry
ing.
.
Si
r:
ummmhKr i
sti
n..Ther
e'sarel
ati
veatthe
Admini
str
ati
onwhowant st oseeyouur
gentl
y.
..

Whichrelat
ivewoul dwannaseeme?Conf usi
on
st
ruckinhar dbuttheconstantstarr
ingofmy
cl
assmat esforcedmeup. .Ist
oodupand
walkedtotheadmi nist
rat
ionandget ti
ngthere
myey escameacr ossthisguy..
..
Ihadnoi dea
whohewas. .
wast hi
sthepersont heteacher
wasr ef
erri
ngto?
Hi
m:Kr
ist
inThompson?
Me:
yes.
..
..
Hi
m:f
oundher
!!

Thewayhesaidthatwasn'tr
eal
l
ypleasi
ng..I
swal
lowedahugelumpl ooki
ngforanescape
pl
an..
myhear
tstartedbeati
ngsofast
..
what's
goi
ngon?
.
.
ALEX
.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouok?
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hi
m:okt
het
eacheri
sher
e..
bye
Me:
bye.
.

Thenhedroppedt
hecal l
.
.Myr el
ati
onshipwi t
h
Tshepanghasonl
ybeenf or2weeksbutIr eall
y
l
ov ehi
m..YesDat
ingaguywhoi s2y earsolder
thanme,al
sowhohappenst obemysi sters
fri
endmaycomeof fasoffi
shbutIcan'treal
ly
changethewayIf
eel..

AsIwasst i
l
l t
hinki
ngaboutmyl
i
feIr
ecei
veda
textf
rom Kr
is..
"
Cal
lmom now,
tel
lhert
ocomet
omyschool
!
!"

Thi
smessagetwi
stedmyintest
ines.
..
Somet
hingwaswrongandIcouldfeeli
t.
.
Somet
hingi
swrongwithKri
s!
.
.
.
*
**ToBeCont
inued*
**
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t2
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
Iwasrainingbacktoearth,
constantvi
olent
shaki
ngt hatconsumedmybodywasbr ingi
ng
back.
..
Ifeltcol
dliqui
donmyf acethatwiththe
col
dthatmetmybody ,
myey essnapopen. .
Iwisht osayt hattheguywhocamet oschool
wasl ostforsomer eason,
andt henapol ogized
fortheinconv eniencebutthatwasnott he
case,thelastthingIrememberI shi m hitt
ingme
hardwi thsomet hingonmyheadandIbl acked
out.
.ThemomentIopenedmyey esIrubbed
myheadwer eitwaspai nful
wi t
hmyey es
roami ngaround.Iwasact uall
yl ayingona
bed,comf ort
ablebedt obeexact .
..Myhear t
star
tedbeat ingsof astwhent hedooropened. .
.
Theguywhoki dnappedmeorsot osay
emer ged..
.Hewasgoodl ookingandt hen
makesmewonderwhathewant sfrom me. .

Hi
m:ohhsowear
eawake.
..
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me?
Hi
m:not
hing.
..
Me:t
hepol
i
cewi
l
lgety
ou.
..
youar
egoi
ngt
ogo
t
ojai
l.
..
Hi
m:wewi
l
lseeaboutt
hat
..
.

Hetookouthi
sphoneasmyey esst
udi
edt
he
env
ironment
..
.Obser
vingi
fther
ewasaway
out
..
.

Him:weareinthemi
ddl
eofnowhere
babes.
..
ther
e'snowayt
oescape.
.
Me:
pleaset
akemehome.
.pl
ease.
..

Isai
dastearsstreamed..
..Ihavehear
dabout
peopl
ebeingki
dnappedt henkill
ed.
.Ir
eal
l
ydon'
t
wanttodi
e..
atleastnotnow. .
Hecal
l
edsomeone.
.
Hi
m:Bandi
l
eShe'
sawake.
..
ok.

Thenhehungup.
..
.

Hi
m:ok..
sowear egoi
ngt
oplayni
cetoeach
ot
herri
ght?Am goi
ngtoj
ustti
eyouonachair
..
.
Me:
w..
..why
?Iwon'
trunawaypl
easedon'
tti
e
me.
..
li
keyousai
dther
e'snowayoutf
or
me.
.pl
ease.
.
Him:
Kri
ssyIwon'
thur
tyou.
..
am justt
yingy
ou
sosomeoneseeswenotpl
aying.
.
Me:
who?
Hi
m:dontwor
ryaboutt
hat
..
.

Hewalkedtowardsme.
.nomatt
erhowmuchi
t
ri
edt ostepbackhewassti
l
lcomingf
or
me..
.Godpleasehel
pme..
.
.
.
ALEX
.
.
Mom waspaci ngupanddownmaki ngendl ess
phonecal l
s..
shest i
llhadhopet hatmay bea
rel
at i
vedi dtakeherbutt hatwasj ustt oof ar
fetched. .
.Dadwasal readyonhi sway ...Ihav e
nev erseenmom sowor r
iedli
ket his,wel l
ever y
onet obeexactev enTshepang. ..
hef eels
l
ikeheshoul dhav epr otectedher .
..Itsbeena
daywi thKri
smi ssingandIj ustfeel myhear t
breakingi nt
osmal l
erpi eces..
.mysi steri st he
onlycl osestthi
ngIhav ei nmyl i
fe,she
under standsmef ull
y...
she'smyev erything. ..
Wat chingmom paceupanddownont hephone
madef myt earstost ream down. ..Icoul dn' t
event hinkofwhatmusthav ehappenedt oher .
..
AsIwasst i
llsi
tt
ingt hereTshepi ecal led..
Hi
m:hey
..
Me:
hi.
.
Hi
m:am out
sidecome.
..

Wi
thnohesi
tati
onIstoodupandwentout
,
mom di
dn'
tevennot
ice..
..
.
ThemomentIgotoutsi
de,Isawhiml
eani
ng
agai
nstsomecar
..
.Ibetitwashismot
hers.
..
.

Iranuptohim andt
hrewmysel
finhisar
ms,
al
lI
neededthatmomentwashiswarm arms
aroundme...
Icri
edi
nhisar
ms..

Aft
ersomet
imehehadmanagedt
ocal
m me
down.
.

Hi
m:howar
eyouhol
dingup?
Me:
i
tshar
d..
Imi
ssher
..
Hi
m: don'
twor
ry.
.wewi
l
lfi
ndher
..
.mydadhas
hi
redaP.I
Me:
that
'sni
ceofy
ourf
ather
..
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
doesSam know?
Me:
yes.
.hesai
dhewi
l
lsor
titout
..
.
Hi
m:Iguessev
ery
onei
sput
ti
nghandson.
.
Me:
yeah.
.ev
endadi
scomi
ng.
.
Hi
m:t
hat'
sgood..
.wannagooutf
oradr
ive.
.Just
t
oputthemindatease.
.
Me:
yeahwhynot
..
butwai
t.
..Howar
eyou?

Hechuckl
ed.
.

Him:it
shard.
.she..
..
apartf
rom youshe'
sthe
personwhohel pskeepmesai nt.
.Youknow
wheni twasoneoft hosedays..
.shewasther
e
forme...
..Shest
hefami
lyIhavenev
er
had.
..
bloodornotshesmysist
er.
.

Icoul
dseehowt
hiswasbr
eaki
nghi
m..
.

Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
..
Me:
ok.
.

Wegoti nsi
det hecaranddr oveaway ,weboth
stayatPhakalane..
.Wedr oveal ongtheA1
road.
..Hestoppedal ongwayi nt hemiddleof
nowherethengotof fthecar,Ifoll
owedhim...
Hewenti nsi
det heforestupt osomest ones.
..

Hi
m: weusuall
ycomeher et
ojustunwi
ndand
t
hinkaboutthefut
ure.
..
Me:
i
tssof
ar.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.comeher
e..
Iwalkedt owardshi
m,hemademest andona
st
one..thenbroughtourbodi
escl
osedtoeach
other.
.

Me:
Ithi
nkshe'
sst
il
lal
i
vewher
evershei
s..
Hi
m:howdoy
ouknowt
hat
?
Me:
am hersi
ster
..
.Icanf
eel
it.
.
Hi
m:hav
eIev
ert
oldy
ouhowmuchIl
ovey
ou?
Ishookmyheadno.
.

Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
..
eversi
ncel
asty
earAugust
..
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
eversi
nceIwas14

Hechuckl
ed

Hi
m:soy
ouhav
ebeencr
ushi
ngonmeal
lal
ong?
Me:
sor
tof
Hi
m:wel
ldr
eamsdocomet
rue

Hesai
dasHebr oughthi
sfacecl
osert
omine
t
henbefor
eIknowi twewereki
ssi
ngdeepl
y.
..
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
Iwasnowtyedt
oachai
r.
.Hedidn'
thur
tme..
.I
wastyedt
osomemetal
chai
rinthemiddl
eof
ther
oom.

Hi
m:y
ousee?
Idi
dn'
thur
tyou.
..

Heseemedni
cet
hough.
..
Me:
whenam Igoi
nghomeSet
h?

Hehadt
oldmehi
sname.
.
Hi
m:soonenough.
.

Aswewer esti
lltalkingsomehotguygoti n,
to
behonestIhav en'tmetany oneashotast hat
guy.
.hewasr eall
yhandsome. .hadt
atoosall
overhisarms..
..may behoti san
understat
ementhe' ssofreaki
nghandsome!

Set
h:Bandi
l
e..
Bandi
l
e:i
sthi
sher
?
Set
h:y
eah.
..
Hi
m:ok.
..
.Bokgadi
!
!
Hecall
edout.
..SomeTomboygi r
lcamei
n..
no
doubtshewasalsoagangster
..
shecamei
n
wit
hsomeelectri
cal
appli
ancesandsome
cabl
es..
Thi
sBandi
l
eguyl
ookedhear
tl
ess.
..Socol
d.

Bandi
l
e:makeherl
ookni
ce.
..
Set
h:dowehav
etodot
hat
??
Bandi
le:
Ineedtosett
herecor
dstr
aightonwhat
Idotopeoplewhodoubl
ecrossme..

Hewentsomewher eandcamebackwi t
ha
bott
leofwaterthathepouredonme, nodoubt
hewasgoingt oshockmewi thEletr
icity
...
Tearsst
art
edst reamingdownasTheTomboy
gi
rlcametomychai r
,t
omaket heirl
i
ttleproject
asuccessIwast yedtoamet alchai
r..Ilooked
atSethwholookedatmewi t
hsadey es.
.
Me:
pleasehel
pme.
..
.

Isai
dast
ear
schockedme.
..

Bandi
l
e:t
aket
hev
ideoSet
h..
.

Set htookouthi sphone. ..Thetomboygi r

ls
pluggedsomecabl est othechairthenwentt o
thepl ug...
themomentsheswi tchediton,
Ican't
startt oexplainwhatwasgoi ngt omybody ,t
he
paint hatconsumedme. theinvolunt
ary
shaki ng.Ievenf el
tlikemysoul wasf i
ghti
ngits
wayoutofmybody , Idi
dn'tevenhav ethe
ener gytoscr eam....Af t
erawhi lesheswitched
thepl ugof f.
..Iwassodr ainedthatIsuddenly
feltweakandt hemomentIcl osedmyey esI
felli
nt oblackness....
.
.
.
SAM
.
.
Seeingmysi
sterli
kethatbr
okemyheartt
oa
pointwer
eIf
eltmywhol eworl
dbreaki
ng.
.
Seeingmysi
sterli
keandknowingi
tsmyfaul
t
reall
ybr
okeme...

Mi
ke:
ready
?
Me:
yeah.
..Iwi
l
ldel
i
vert
hem per
sonal
l
y..
Hi
m:t
hat
'sr
isky
..
.Bandi
l
ewi
l
lki
l
lyou
Me:
Kri
sismysi
ster
!!
Mike:
Iknow.
..
buti
magi
nehowshe'
sgoi
ngt
o
f
eel i
fyoudi
e?
Me:
I.
.j
ust
..
.
Mi
ke:
feel
li
kesheneedsy
ou?
ofcauseshedoes
butIfyougother
eper
sonal
lyyouar
egoodas
dead..
wewill
sendsomeone..
.
Me:
ok.
.
Igul
peddownt
her
emai
ningwi
sky
,.
.
.
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
WhenIopenedmyey esagain,
mywholebody
wasachingandIfel
tsoti
red..
.Iwasst
il
lona
chai
rty
ed..
myey escameBandi l
eandSet
h..
and
i
tseemedliket
heywerearguing..
.

Seth:hesai
dtheyar
ecomi
ng.
.Ther
e'snoneed
forthis.
.
Bandi
l
e:Inev
err
eal
l
yaskedf
ory
ouropi
nion.
.

Hesaidwalki
ngupt ome,wit
hani nj
ect
ion.
.
Whatwashedoingt omenow. .Heseyeswere
i
cecold..
.Iev
enforgotabouthis
handsomenessandsexynessfocusedonthe
monsterhewas..

Me:pl
ease..
..
pl.
..
please.
.pl
easedon'
tdo
t
his.
.pl
ease..
.

Isai
dcryi
ng,nodoubthewast
ryi
ngt
oinj
ect
medrugs.
..
Helookedatmecaref
ull
ywit
hmyt ear
s
st
reamingdown.
..Hetookaheav
ysighashe
l
ookedaway..
.

Bandi
l
e:i
fIdon'
tgetmyst
uffbyt
omor
rowshe'
s
dead.
..
.

Hesaidbefor
ewalkingout
,assoonashewas
goneIbrokei
ntoaloudcry
..Whyme?Godwhy
me?

Set
hcameandunt
yedmet
henhel
pedme
st
and.
..

Me:
please.
..
please.
.hel
pme.
.
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryy
ourbr
otherwi
l
lsav
eyou.
.
Me:
S..
.Sam?
Hi
m:y
eah.

Me:
please.
.pl
easel
etmet
alkt
ohi
m..
Hi
m:t
hat
'sr
isky
..
Me:
please.
..
.
Hi
m:okonl
y10seconds.
.

Inoddedagr
eei
ng.
..Hehel
pedmesi
tonthe
bedashedidsomethi
ngwit
hhi
sphoneand
aft
erawhil
eIhear
dSam...
Sam:
hel
l
o?
Me:
Sam.
..
Sam.
.
Him:
Kri
ssy
..
arey
ouokPumpki
n?Di
dtheyhur
t
you?
Me:
comegetme.
..
please
Him:
am coming.
..Am goi
ngt
osav
eyou
pumpki
n..Il
oveyou.
.i
-

AndSet
hhungup.
..

Set
h:happy
?
Inoddedwi t
ht earsst
reaming.
..ThatmomentI
prayedforSam t osav
emebef oreBandil
e
comesback. .
thewayhe' ssocoldnodoubthe
will
kil
lme...
.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t4
.
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
Him:asmuchast hi
shurtsbutIreall
ythi
nky our
dadhasapoi nt,
Imeanwedon' texact
lyknow
thepeoplewhoki dnappedy ouorwhatthey
wanted.
.whatiftheycomeback?Ther eareso
manywhati f
'sKrisandt helastt
hingIwantis
somethingtohappent oy ou..

Il
ookedathi m,Iknowhehasapoi ntbuttoj
ust
l
eave?Iwaswi thTshepieatKFC, i
tsbeena
weekev ersincemydaddr oppedthis
bombshel l
onmeandi tseemslikeev er
yone
agr
eeswi thhim,ther
ear eallworri
edaboutmy
saf
ety.
.evenAl exagrees,butmyhear tisher
e
wit
hmyf amily.
..

Me:whatabout.
..
God..Tshepang.
..
whatabout
ourfr
iendshi
p?Mysister?mymom? ?I
can'
t.
.I
..
.mywholeli
feisherenotatsomeplace
whereIknowonlymydad. ..
andMystepmom. .
Isi
ghed.
.

Him:l
astt
imeyousaidy
ouandy
ourst
epmom
getal
ongjustf
ine.
..
Me:i
tsnotabouther
..I
ts.
.Iknowy
ouguy
shav
e
apointbutt
ojustl
eave?
Him:youandIweli
kebr
otherandsist
erand
nothi
ngcaneverbr
eakus.
..
notevendist
ance
pl
usthat'swhyt
her
eisathingcal
ledsoci
al
media..
Me:
am goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
.
Hi
m:sowhenar
eyougoi
ng?
Me:Dadsaidhehasalr
eadyfi
ndmeagood
school
,
andwellmytravel
l
ingdocument
sar
eal
l
nowinordersoonTuesday.
.
Hi
m:sosoon?
Me:
yeah.
..
sosoon.
.
Hi
m:howaboutwegot
oli
onspar
k?
Me:
i
tscol
dincasey
oudon'
treal
i
ze.
.
Hi
m: sowhat
?it
snotlikewegoi
ngt
oswi
m,we
wi
llonlydot
herides.
.
Me:
i
tsSunday
..
Ihav
eacur
few.
.
Hi
m: t
her
eisnot
hingwr
ongwi
thbr
eaki
ngaf
ew
r
ules.
.
Me:
aii
iok.
..
onl
yify
ouar
egoi
ngt
obuymef
ood
i
nsi
de.
.
Hi
m:watsenwa!
!(
youar
ecr
azy
)whendi
dIst
art
wor
king?
Me:
wel
lyoucert
ainl
yhavemoneyf
orustoget
i
nsopossi
blyy
ouhav emoneyf
orfood.
.
Hi
m:kereki
l
eKFC(IboughtKFC)sodoy our
sel
f
afav
ourandeat
..
becauseyouain'
tget
tingany
f
oodwhenwegett her
e..
gogetaboyfr
iend.
.
Me:
somuchofagent
leman.
.
Hi
m:Ihav
eagi
rl
fr
iendwho.
.-
Hest
oppedal
ongway
..

Me:soKel
etsoisr
ight
?Youactual
l
ylov
e
someoneelse.
.WhosesheandwhywasInev
er
tol
d?
Hi
m:i
ts.
..
.Ij
ustdon'
twanty
ouget
ti
ngmad.
.
Meandwhywoul
dIgetmad?
Hi
m:she'
stwoy
ear
syoungert
hanmeand.
.-

Hegoti
nter
rupt
edbymyphoner
ingi
ngandi
t
wasSam..

Me:
i
tsSam.
.

Ianswer
ed.
.

Me:
hey
!!
Hi
m:somebodymi
ssesme.
.
Me:
sobad.
.
Hi
m:Iheary
ouf
atheri
staki
ngy
ou.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
forsaf
etyr
easons.
.
Hi
m:am r
eal
lysor
ryf
orwhathappenedt
oyou.
.I
r
eal
lyam Kr
is.
.
Me:
i
tsnoonesf
aul
t.
.Real
l
y..
don'
tsweati
t.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyouokt
hough?
Me:y
es.
.am ok..
you?youseem abi
t.
.Idon'
t
knowbutyoujustsounddown?
Hi
m:no.
.i
tsschool
..
Me:
so.
.ar
eyougoi
ngt
obuyasumsungS8?
?

Herl
aughed..
Isaidchangi
ngthesubject,
Ireal
ly
don'
twanttoworrymybr ot
herovernothing.
.I
wassti
l
lscared.
.butam suresoonenoughI
woul
dhavegot t
enov eri
t.
.
Hi
m:i
fyoubehav
e..
Me:
what
??Ial
way
sbehav
e..
Hi
m:Iknow.
.sohowi
sTshepang?
Me:
he'
sok.
..
anywhi
tesi
steri
nlaw?
Hi
m:I
ndi
an.
.

Il
aughed.
..

Me:
sowhosegoi
ngt
omar
rywho?
Hi
m:shutup.
.she'
sbeaut
if
ult
hough.
.
Me:
obviousl
y.
..I
ndiansar
ebeauti
ful
.
..Iwanna
meether.
.maybeIcangettowearaSari
..
Hi
m:andwhat
'
sthat
?

Il
aughed.
.
Me:
niggay
ouar
esosl
ow!
!
.
.
SAM
.
.
Speaki ngt omysi steralway scalmsme
down, bot hoft hem inf act..
it
'sfunnyhowt hey
arediffer entthough. .Alexist hego
getter.
..she'sreallyconf identwhi l
eKrisinthe
othersi de...
she's...
.shesj ustKris.
.Imean..she'
s
shybutnott hatmushshywhensheget sused
toyou. .Ican'tsayshe' snotconf i
dentbutshe
hast hisper sonalitythatonl yifyouknowher
youwi ll understand..She' ssoqui t
ear ound
peopleshedoesn' ttalkal otandst uffwhil
e
Alexisj usttheopposi te..
Me:
soy
ou?
anyboy
fri
end?
Her
:yes,
Jesus.
.

Il
aughedsohar
d..
tr
usthert
obecr
azy

Me:
ohhJesus.
.
Her
:yeahJesusi
sthemanIl
ove.
.
Me:
Isee.
.wel
ltel
lJesusIsai
dhi
..
Her
:ok.
.Iwi
l
ltel
lhi
m whenIt
alkt
ohi
m..
Me:
good.
.ummhl
ookIbet
tergo.
.Iwi
l
lseey
ou.
.
Me:
seemewher
e?
Me:
aii
wewi
l
ltal
k..

Shechuckl
ed.
.

Her
:okIl
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.

It
henhungupthent
urnedt
oonl
yfi
ndMi
ke
l
ooki
ngatme..

Hi
m:howi
sshe?
Me:
she'
sfi
ne.
..
asal
way
s..
Hi
m:areyousur
eyoudon'
twantmeasy
our
br
otheri
nlaw?
Me:
noti
nami
l
li
ony
ear
s..
plusy
ouai
n'
thert
ype.
.
Hi
m:andwhosehert
ype?
Me:
unt
ily
ouar
ePr
esi
denty
ouar
enothert
ype.
..
Hi
m:f
ucky
ou.
..
Me:Bandi
lei
sgoingtopay
..
.heshoul
dn'
thav
e
messwit
hmyf amil
y.
.
Hi
m:Bandi
l
ewi
l
lki
l
lyou.
.
Me:
noti
fhedoesn'
tknowi
tsme.
.
Him:y
ouwanty oursi
stert
odieIsee..
.It
snot
hi
sfaulty
oudecidedtostealfr
om hi
m,andwe
al
lknowy ouarehi
sbiggestenemy..
.Youguy
s
usedtobefri
ends..
.
Me:
onceuponat
imeweusedt
obef
ri
ends.
.
Hi
m:andy
oudeci
dedt
osl
eepwi
thhi
sgi
rl
fr
iend.
.
Me:Iwasdrunkpl
usshekeptthrowi
ngher
sel
f
atme..shewasaloosepant
yplushewas
cheat
ingonher.
.
Him:mainli
neisy ousleptwi
thHisgir
lf
riend..
Werey oudrunkornot .
..
washecheati
ngonher
ornot.
.youbroketheguycode..Thi
sthingof
himtakingyoursister
..
.hej
ustwant
edt ohur t
youthat'
sallbecauseitseemsli
kefamilyisthe
mostimportantthingtoyou.
.soheknowsy our
weakness
Me:that
'swhyhehastopay..
Imeanhowlongi
s
hegoingtobeangryforsomethi
ngt
hat
happened2yearsago?
Him:
youguysshoul
djustgrowup.
.l
ooknow
youar
eputt
ingyoursi
steri
ndanger
..
.
Me:f
ormyfamil
y'
ssakeIwil
ll
ett
hisonego.
.but
hebett
erpr
aywedon'tmeet
..
Him:f
orbothyoursakesIhopeyoudon'
t.
..
no
onewillwal
koutali
ve..
youguyswil
lki
l
leach
other
..
.
Me:y
oucanbetonthatone!!
hemadeareal
l
y
bi
gmi st
akei
nvol
vi
ngfamilyi
ntot
his!
!
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
Wewerej
ustf
rom t
her
oll
ercoast
err
ideand
myheadwasspi
nni
ng.
.

Hi
m:y
oushoul
dhav
eseeny
our
sel
f.
.
Me:
Godt
hatwasf
un.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
nowwecangohome.
..
Me:yeah..
butbef
oret
hatTshepangIreall
ydon'
t
mindy oudati
nga2yearoldyoungerpersont
o
you.
.aslongasyouarehappyIam..butwhose
she?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ltel
lyouoneday
..
Me:
Iwi
l
lhol
dyout
oit
..

Wewal kedt ohiscartalki

ngaboutt hedaywe
had...Thiswast hemostf unniestthi
ngIhav e
everdoneev ersinceJanuar y
...Iwasalso
happyt ohavetalkedtoSam. .hecouldn'tcome
seemebecauseappar ent
lyhehadexams. .
Tshepangdr ovemehome. ..Getti
nghomeI
foundAl exwatchingtheTV. .

Me:
hey
..
Her
:hey
..
hadf
unt
oday
?
Me:yeah.
.l
otsof
..
Tshepangt
ookmet
oLi
ons
par
kandSam called.
.
Her
:heal
socal
l
edme.
..

Shesai
df oll
owingmetomyroom..
.assoonas
wegotinsideshethr
ewher
selfont
hebed..

Me:
guesst
odaywasourl
uckyday
..
wher
e's
mom?
Her
:Idon'
tknow.
..
shej
ustl
eft
..
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:am goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
..
Me:Ist
il
ldon'
tgetwhyy
oudon'
twannacome
wi
th..

Al
exmadei
tcl
earwhendadsuggest
edi
fshe
al
sowantstocomewitht
hatshedoesn'
t
wannagoanywher
e..
.

Her
:whowi
l
llookaf
termom?
Me:
ok.
.Iguessy
ouhav
eapoi
nt.
.
Her
:pr
omi
set
ocal
lev
ery
day
..
Me:
that'
sal
i
eIdon'
twantt
out
terwi
thmyown
mouth.
.
Her
:okever
yweekbutweshoul
dtal
kon
WhatsAppever
yday
..
Me:
okt
hatoneIcando.
.
Her
:am sur
eyougoi
ngt
omeethandsomewhi
te
boy
s..
Me:
yout
hough.
.
Her
:met houghwhat
?Youshouldreal
lyst
art
dat
ing.
..Imeanyouaresobeaut
if
ul.
..
Shecameandr
emov
edmyspect
acl
es.
..
.

Her:
ther
enothingwr ongwithyoureyes.
..
.why
ar
ey ouhidi
ngt hem behi
ndthespectacl
esand
eyecontact
s..Youhav ebeaut
iful
eyes..
.

Sheal
sol
etmycur
lyhai
rloose.
..

Her:
andbeaut
if
ulhai
r.
..
can'tevenst
artt
alki
ng
aboutt
hebeautywi
thi
ny ou..
.
Me:I
..
.Ij
ustdon'
twantt
o..
..
tol
ookwei
rdi
nfr
ont
ofot
herpeople.
.
Her:
bei
ngdiff
erentiswhatmakesyou
beaut
if
ul.
..
youarereal
lyBeaut
if
ulKr
is.
..
Me:
andsoar
eyou.
.
Her:
promi
semenomor eSpect
acl
esandey
e
cont
actsf
rom nowon?
Me:
promi
se.
.
Shesmi led...Mysi st
erisat r
uemot i
vat or
..
May bether enot hingwr ongwi t
hmyey es..
.but
thef eeli
ngofbei ngawei rdocouldn'
tleavemy
mi nd...
whati fpeopl elaughatme? orget
terrif
ied?Whati f...
thereweresomanywhati fs.
..
Ilookedatmy selfatthemi rr
or..
.Tookadeep
breat h..
."Beingdi fferentiswhatmakesy ou
different".
thiswor dskeptplayinginmy
mi nd..andIwasst arti
ngt obeli
eveit
..
.
.
2DAYSLATER
.
.
Wewer ealmostlandi
ng...Afewhour sagoI
wassay i
nggoodby et
ot hepeoplethatmeans
theworldtomeandt hatwast hemostheart
breaki
ngthingIhaveeverdone..IguessIwi
ll
seet hem December .
.Myhear twasbr eaking..
.I
evencr i
edwhenIhadt ohugmymom. .
God
knowshowmucham goi ngtomi ssher ..Alex
alsocr i
edwhi leTshepangj ustputawayhi s
tearsbuthi sey eswer ered..Dylan,Antonyand
BKwher ealsot here...Ithurtleavingthem but
thenagai nitsli
f e..
.Aftersomemi nuteswe
werewal kingwi thourbagst othepar kingLot t
wereEl i
zabet hwaswai ti
ngf orus,myst ep
mom. .Herandmydaddon' thav ekids
together..
.AndIdon' tev enknowwhyandI
neverask. .
afteral li
tsnonofmybusi ness...As
soonaswegott othecarshecameout ..

Her
:ohhKr
is.
.y
ouar
esogr
own.
.
Shesaidhuggi
ngme,IHuggedherback.
.wejust
getal
ongjustfi
nebutIdon'
tcall
hermom..
.and
somethi
ngtell
smeIwi l
lnever
.

Her
:let
'sgohome.
.am sur
eyouar
eti
red.
.
Me:
yeah.
.

Theenvir
onmentwasnew, ev
erythi
ngwasjust
newandt obehonestIwasscared..
.Thef
act
thatIdi
dn'
tknowwhatthisplacehasinst
ore
formescaredme..
.
.
.
*
**ToBeCont
inued*
**
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t3
.
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Me:
am st
il
lsay
ingnoEnhl
e!!
Her
:comeonBandi
l
e..
.andi
tsnotl
i
key
oudon'
t
hav
emoneyanyways
Me:Ineedy outol
earntosave..
.Igaveyou
moneyl astweekandyoualreadytell
i
ngmey ou
bl
ewi tall
?Lookam real
lybusyr i
ghtnow.
..
I
gat
tago. .
Her
:Ba-

Ihadal r
eadyhungup. .
Mbal i
enhleismy
sister,
smallsist
er..
she'
s21andgoesat
Univ ersi
tyofCapetown...
andIhav enev erseen
any onewhowast emoneyl ikeEnhle..
.Mymom
alsost aysinCapetownandmeont heother
sideIst ayinJoharnessburg,weonly3i nour
fami ly
..t
hat'
smom, meandEnhl e.Iwasout si
de
cleaningmycar ,Iusual
lyprefermecl eaningit
thansomeonef rom thecarwash.AsIwasst i
ll
cl
eani
ngmycarIsawSet
h'scarpull
ingi
nand
af
terawhi
l
ehewaswalki
ngt owardsme..

Hi
m:Bandi
l
e..
Me:
dawg.
.
Hi
m:t
hepackagei
sher
e..

Hesai
dhandi
ngmeabl
ackpace.
..

Me:
aret
heyt
her
eal
ones?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
theybet
terbe.
..
orel
sehemi ghtaswel
lst
art
wi
thhissi
ster
'sf
uneral
prepar
ati
ons

Isai
dopeni
ngthepace.
..
theyl
ookedreal
to
me..
.Ipl
acedt
hepaceinmypocket..
Hi
m:y
ouwoul
dn'
tki
l
lher
..
Me:
somuchconf
idence.
..
Hi
m:Iknowy ouarerut
hlessbutnotenought
o
ki
l
laninnocent18yearold.
.
Me:
youl
i
keher
?
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
youl
i
keherdon'
tyou?
Hi
m:t
hisi
snotaboutmel
i
kingher
..
Me:
i
tsabouty
oucar i
ng??Youmustbekiddi
ng
me,
Whendidyoustartcar
ingf
orot
herpeopl
e?
Wor
sesomekid.
.?
Him:
sinceIreal
i
zedshehadnot
hingt
odowi
th
Sam'
st hef
t.
.
Me:okMrNiceGuywannabesinceIseeyou
l
ikeherhowabouty
oujustgomarryhert
hen?

Hecl
ickedhist
oungeandwal
kedawayleav
ing
i
nchuckles,
yesshedi
dn'
thav
eanyt
hingtodo
withthedi amond' sbutkeepi ngherhost agegot
mewhatIwant edandev enf astert hanI
anti
cipated.Toev ent hi
nkt herewer eoneoft he
dayswer eact uallyIwasani ceper son, good
persont obeexact .Ev erythingf ellapar twhen
myf atherdi edandbecauseofmyf at her's
familydisli
ki ngmymom wehadt omov efrom
thehouse, myf atherhadboughtf orusand
rel
ocat ed.Si ncemymom coul dn' tgetadecent
j
obIhadt omanupatay oungageandhust l
e.I
can'tpossibl ysayIl eadamor al accept ablelife
butinsteadam adr ugLor d,
at hiefbutam not
theonewhoact ual l
ydoest hest ealing. .Isend
somepeopl e..AndIdon' tst eal smal l things..
I
bombATM' sandl at estcar s,di
amond' sand
Gold.Am notexact l
yi nacr ew. .Cr ewsbr i
ngl ot
ofcompl i
cat ions,likepol iceat tentionwhi chI
don'treall
yl ike.Hav ingt hepol iceony ourtail
i
sn'tsomet hingpl easi ngbecausey ouwi ll
alwayshav et oconsi dery ourev erymov ebutI
haveadet ect ivewhosuspect smyi llegal shit.
Roxy ,
andont opoft hatshe'sawoman. .She' s
reallysmar t.Ican' tsayam pr oudorany thing
buti fitput sf oodont hetablet henwhy
compl ai nori fi
ttakescar eofmymom and
sister .
.Idohav ehav eadegr ee,aci v i
l
engi neer ingdegr eeandont opoft hatabi g
const ructioncompanywhi chmanagest ohide
myr eal sour ceofmoney .
.Idon' truni tbecause
Ireal l
yhat ebei ngst ucki ntheof f
ice..Idohav e
fri
endsandt hosef ri
endsusedt obemycr ew
until Ideci dedt odi ssolveitbutwehav ebeen
ti
ghtev ersincet hen.Imi ghtbecol dorr ut
hl ess
l
ikeSet hsai dbutIr eall
ylovemyf ami l
ywho
happenst obemymom andsi ster,theyar e
pract icallyther easonwhyam al ivet oday .
.andI
feel i
t '
sanobl i
gati
onf ormet ot akecar eof
them. ..
bei nga24y earol dmeansal ot..Imi ght
beloadedbuthav ingaf amilywhi chl ovesy ou
uncondi t
ional lymakesmyl i
febet t
er ..AsIwas
stil
lther eIr ecei v
edacal lf
rom Set h.
Me:
yesMrNi
ceguy
..
Hi
m:am l
ett
inghergo.
.
Me:
ok.
.

Thenhehungup, Krist
inwasreal
l
yt helastthing
onmymi nd..
whatconsumedmymi ndwast he
personwhowassupposedt obebuy i
ngt hi
s
di
amonds. .DevonknownasTay l
or
MacVer dana..
.Am surehewasgoingtocasha
l
otf ort
hisdiamonds..
.
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
Sethwasbusyhel
pingmewearhi
sjacket
si
ncei
twasabitchi
lly
..
Me:
pleaset
ell
meam goi
nghome.
..
Him:yesy ouarebutfi
rstl
etmegetonet hi
ng
strai
ght..
.Makesureyouknowwhatt osayt o
thepoliceorelset
histimeBandi
lewil
lreal
lykil
l
you..
.andt her
estofyourfami
lyandIbeli
eve
that'
snotwhaty ouwantright
?

Inodded.
.

Hi
m:good.
.wewouldn'
twantt
oat
tendy
our
f
amil
ysfuner
als.
.
Me:
woul
dhedot
hat
?
Hi
m:hecandowor
se.
.
Me:
ok.
..
Hi
m:andonemor
ethi
ngKr
is.
.keepsaf
e..
Hesaidthatbef
orehi
tt
ingmewithsomet
hing
onmyheadt hatIi
mmediat
elyf
elli
nto
dar
kness..
Waki ngupIwaswel comedbysomebeepi ng
thatwassoconst ant,
myv i
sionwassomehow
blurbutIcoul
dtellIwasint hehospit
al.
..Itr
ied
tomov emybodybutst oppedasIf el
tsome
painInmyheadt henIremember edSethhitt
ing
mewi t
hsomethi
ngonmyhead. .
.AsIwasst il
l
thereIheardt
hedooropeni ng..

Her
:ohhhmyyGod.
.babyy
ouar
eawake.
.
Nur
se!!
!Nur
se!

Shecal
ledout
..
.Il
ettearsf
all
asIhear
dmy
mom,Ihadmissedher.
..

Me:
mo.
.mom.
..
Her
:yesbaby
..
mommyi
sher
e..
Shesai
dembr
aci
ngmeandIj
ustl
eti
tal
lout
.

Me:
whyme?
?
Her
:shhhbaby.
..
mommyisher
e..
.am r
eal
l
y
sor
rybaby.
.Ir
eal
lyam.
.
Me:
i
...Iwas.
.scar
ed.
.It
hought
..
.-
Her:
youar
eher
enowbaby
..
Ilov
eyousomuch
Kr
ist
in.
.

Asweweresti
llhuggi
ngIhear
dmydadsvoi
ce.
.
Irai
sedmyheadandIsawhim st
andi
ng
besi
desmybed..

Me:
Dad.
.
Him:don'
tworr
yPrincessnot
hingwi
l
lev
er
happentoyou.
.notifI
'mther
e..
Inoddedwi
tht
ear
srol
l
ing.
..
.
.
Afewhourslat
erthewholefamil
ywascrowded
i
nthehospi
talroom i
ncl
udingTshepi
eand
Dyl
an.
.

Al
ex:
Iwasr
eal
l
yscar
ed.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.
Dy
lan:
thankGody
ouar
eok.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Dad:yourmot
herandIwillgi
veyousome
pr
ivacywithy
ourfr
iend'
s.
..Lorat
o?
Mom:
yeah.
.Iwi
l
lcomebackl
ater
..
.

Shekissedmyfor
eheadandsodi
ddadt
hen
theybothl
eft
..
.
Al
ex:
wer
eyoueat
ing?
Me:
yeah.
..
Dylan:
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ougotki
dnappedat
school.
.
Al
ex:
whatdi
dtheywant
?
Me:theyneversai
dbutt
heysai
dthatmebei
ng
capturedwil
lmakesomeoneknowhowseri
ous
theyare..
Dy
lan:
who?
Me:Idon'tknow..Iwassoscar
ed..
.It
houghthe
wasgoi ngtokil
lme..hewassocol
d..
so
heart
less..He.
..

AndIwasalreadyinAlex'sarmscr yi
ng..How
cansomeonebet hatheartl
ess...Ihatedhi
m..
I
hat
edhimforhurti
ngme. .
.Ihatedhi mfor
put
ti
ngmet hroughallthat.
.Ihatedhim!!
IguessIcr
iedmy
sel
ftosl
eepbecausewhenI
openedmyey esIcoul
dfeelt
heywereswoll
en..
Il
ookedaroundandIfoundTshepandsl
eeping
onachair
..
.AsIwasst i
ll
star
ri
ngathim he
openedhi
sey es.
..

Hi
m:hey
..
doy
ouwantany
thi
ng?
Me:
no.
.am f
ine.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?

Inodded.
.

Him:
am r
eal
l
ysor
ry.
.Ishoul
dhav
epr
otect
ed
you.
.
Me:i
tsnoonesfaultt
houghIsti
ll
don'
t
under
standwhattheywanted.
.
Him:maybei
thastodowi
thsomet
hing
connect
edtoyou.
.i
dk.
.
Heshr
ugged.
..

Me:
butwho?
Hi
m:st
opst
ressi
ngaboutt
his.
..
Me:
whati
ftheycomebackf
orme?
Hi
m:theywon'
t.
.yourdadhashi
redsecur
it
y..
Not
hingwil
lhappentoyou..
.
Me:
am scar
ed
Hi
m:youdon'
thav
etobe.
..
notanymor
eat
l
east
..
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou.
.
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y

Webot
hlaughed.
.

Hi
m:Imi
ssedy
out
ooPumpki
n..
Me:
i
tfeel
sgoodt
obeback
Hi
m:i
tfeel
sgoodt
ohav
eyouback.
.
Me:
i
-

BeforeIcouldtal
kthedooropenedwit
hthe
doctorgett
inginsi
defol
lowedbythepol
icet
hen
mypar ent
s...

Doc:
andhowi
smypat
ientdoi
ng?
Me:
am f
inebesi
dest
hepai
ninmyhead.
.
Doc:Ibel
ievetheyhityoury
ourhead. .
.don't
worr
yy ouwillbefi
ne..
wearegladthatt he
tr
aff
icoffi
cersfoundyourbodylastnight
di
sposedont heroadnearthehospital.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
Doc:
thepoli
cewannahaveasmal
ltal
kwi
th
your
egar
dingthesi
tuat
ion.
.
Me:
okky
Doc:
Det
ect
ive.
.
Detect
ive:
hell
oKri
sti
nThompson,
am Det
ect
ive
Motsamai andI
m goi
ngtoaskyouaf
ew
questi
ons.
.
Me:
ok
Detect
ive:
doy
ousomehowremembert
heir
faces?
?Theki
dnapper
sImean.
.may
bethei
r
names?

Iwasabouttoopenmymout hwhenI
rememberedSeth'swor ds"yesy ouarebutfir
st
l
etmegetonet hingstraight.
..Makesur eyou
knowwhattosayt othepol i
ceorel sethisti
me
Bandil
ewil
lreal
l
yki l
lyou...
andt herestofyour
famil
yandIbeli
evethat'snotwhaty ouwant
ri
ght?
"

Thiswor
dsr
anginmyheadthatsuddenl
yIf
eltI
neededt
opr
otectmyf
amil
y.
...
Me:
I.
..
.noIdon'
tknowt
hem.
.
Him:Umhhhtakeyourt
ime.
..
theyar
enother
e..
.
Theywon'thur
tyou.
.

Me:
Idon'
tknowt
hem.
..
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
yes,
they
..
.t
heyhadbl
i
ndf
oldedme.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
yeah.
..
Hi
m:doy
ou-
Dad:It
hinkshehasmadeitcl
eart
hatshe
doesn'
trememberDet
ect
ive.
.
Det
ectiv
e:Si
ryoudor
eal
i
zet
hatt
hisi
sver
y
ser
ious.
.
Dad:
am herf
atherandIseei
tfi
tthatsher
est
..
.
Ri
ghtDoctor
?
Det
ect
ive:
Mr.
..
Dad:
Macv
erdena.
.
Det
ectiv
e:yesMrMcv
erdenat
hisi
sav
ery
ser
iouscase.
.
Dad:
Docdosomet
hing
Doct
or:
Ithi
nkMsThompsonneedst
orest
now.
.
Detect
ive:
wewil
lbebackbutassoonasy
ou
remembersomethi
ngpleaseal
ertus.
.
Me:
wil
ldo.
..

Af
terawhi
l
etheywer
egone.
.

Dad:
theyar
esoper
sist
ent
Me:
theywer
ejustdoi
ngt
hei
rjobdad
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
?
Me:
bet
ter
..
.
Him:
theper
sonwhodi
dthi
sbet
terpr
ayIdon'
t
f
indt
hem...
.
Mom:
Ibr
oughty
ouf
ood.
.

Shesai
dhandi
ngmeaKFCpaperbag.
.

Tshepang:
Iwi
l
lseey
ou.
..

Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadadandl
eft
..
leav
ingme
wi
thmewithmyparent
s..
.

Dad:Idon'
tthi
nky
ouaresafehere.
..That
'
swhy
yourmom andIhavedeci
dedthat.
..t
hatyou
comest aywit
hme..

Ichuckl
ed.
..
Me:am wri
ti
ngmyf
inal
exam.
.Ican'
tj
ust
t
ransf
er..
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
..
.Igoty
ousor
ted.
.

Me:no.
..
please.
.canIj
ustfi
nishschool f
ir
st.
.I
hav
ef r
iendsdad..
whataboutAlex.
.Ican'
tjust
l
eave..

Tearswereal
readyst
reaming..
.Ir
efusedt
o
bel
ievewhathewassay i
ng..
Hi
m:Kr
is.
..
.
Me:
please.
..
.

Thi
swasn'thappeni
ng,i
tcouldn'
thappen..
WhataboutAlex,
mom orTshepang??Mywhol e
l
if
eisherenotinAmeri
ca..
.Icoul
dn'
t..
..Notnow
atl
east
!!
.
.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
**
.
Pleasekeepl
i
king,
comment
ingandshar
ing.
.
Loveyal
l
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t5
.
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Whi
tewal
l
s,whi
tebedcov
ers,
whi
tecar
pet
,whi
te
curt
ains.
.Whiteever
ythi
ng,asli
dingdoorthat
l
edout si
dethenther
e'sabalcony..Wewerein
myr oom,wi
thEli
zabethshowingittome,t
he
room wassuperbigandmor ebeautif
ult
hanmy
oldroom..

Her:
yourdadt
oldmeyourfav
ouri
tecol
ouri
s
whit
esoIhadthisr
oom r
edecor
ated.
.Doyou
l
ikei
t?
Me:
yes,
andt
hanky
ousomuchf
ordoi
ngt
his.
.
Her:
Ihavealwayswant edt
ohav eadaughter,
andnotthatam tr
yingtouseyout of
il
lthatgap
i
nanywaybutIj ustgotoverexcit
edwhenI
hear
dy ouwil
lbestayinghereforsometime..
Me:
i
tsok.
.
Her:
pleaset
ell
mewhenam cr ossingt
he
l
ine,
andam nottr
yingt
orepl
acey ourmom.
.
Me:
ok.
..
Her
:ummmhok.
.Iwi
l
lgi
vey
out
imet
ojust
set
tl
edown.
.

Shet henl ef twithasmi leonherf ace,Ihadseen

heracoupl eoft imesbef orebutwenev er
talkedany thingmor ethan" hi".Isatont hebed
j
ustanal ysingt her oom, i
twasv erybeaut i
ful no
doubtbutIst illmissedmyol dr oom. ..ButthenI
wasgoi ngt ogi vet hi
spl acet hebenef i
tof
doubt ,
may bei twon' tbet hatbad, Ihadt ohav e
somef aithandt hinkposi tively.
..Itookmy
clothesandpackedt hem ni celyinthe
closet,
freshenedupt henchangedcl othes
bef or
egoi ngdownst airst owher etheywer e. .
.
Thehousewasbi g,verybi gandmaki ngme
wonderwhy2peopl eneedsuchabi ghouse. ..
it
wasenoughf or5peopl ei fnot6. .Iwentt ot he
sitti
ngr oom wher eIf oundbot hoft hem sitti
ng
andt alkingbuti mmedi atelystoppedwhent hey
sawme. .
.
Dad:and?doyouli
kei
t?i
fyoudon'
tIcanal
way
s
haveitchangedpumpki
n..
.
Me:
no,
Il
ovei
t.
.It
sbeaut
if
ul.
.
Li
zzy
:that
'sgr
eat
,soIcooked.
.Letmegoand
di
shup..
Me:no..
.i
tsok.
.am notfeel
ingthatmuchhungry
anyway..
Iatesomethingintheplanebutmaybe
l
ater.
.
Li
zzy
:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:yes.
.butIwoul
dn'tmindat
ourar
oundt
his
nei
ghborhoodthough..
.
Li
zzy:It
houghtyouwoul
dneverask.
.l
etmego
andwearcomf ort
abl
eshoessowecandri
ve
around.
.

Shest
oodupanddi
sappear
edupst
air
s..
.

Dad:
babyar
eyousur
eyouar
efi
newi
th
ev
ery
thi
ng?Iser
iousl
ydon'
twanty
out
ofeel
.
..-
Me:am f
ineDad.
..Il
ovether
oom andt
he
house.
.i
tssoBeauti
ful
.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.

Hel ookedconv inced,

Iwasfineexpectt
hefact
thatIwasfeelinghomesi ckbutthehospit
ali
tyI
havebeenget tingisverycomfor
ting.
.SoIcan't
real
lycomplain...

Dad:well
li
keItol
dyouIfoundyouagood
schoolam sur
eyouwil
ll
ov ei
t.
.
Me:
am ner
vous.
.Ihat
ebei
nganewcomer
..
Him:Iknowpumpki n..
.Andam sor
ryt
hisi
s
happeningbutam justtr
yingt
okeepyou
safe,
li
keanyfatherwould..
Me:
sowhenam ISt
art
ing?
Hi
m:wel
lIwast
hinki
ngt
omor
roworThur
sday
..
Idon'
twanty
out
omi
ssoutonal
ot.
.
Me:
Tomor
row?
?
Hi
m:okThur
sdayi
sst
il
lfi
ne.
..
Iguess.
.
Me:
whynotnextweekMonday
?
Him:becausenextweekMondayev er
yonewi
ll
bepay i
ngattent
iontoyouunl
ikeThur
sday
whenev ery
oneisexcit
edaboutFri
daymeani
ng
theywon'tbepay i
ngmuchatt
enti
ontoother
thi
ngs..

Ichuckl
ed.
.

Me:
soy
ouhadr
eal
l
ythoughtaboutev
ery
thi
ng?
Him:Imightbeol
dbutam smart,
everwonder
ed
whyy ouaresosmar
tandintel
l
igent?I
tsmy
genes..

Wel
aughedsohar
d..
.
Me:
okkyIsee.
.
Him:
youshould..
.sowhatwi
ll
itbe
Tomorr
ow,ThursdayorMonday?
Me:
Thur
sdaywi
l
ldo.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
'smypumpki
n..
Me:
ohhpl
ease.
.

Aswewer est illtal

kingLizzycameback, she
hadchangedf rom headt otoe...Butt
henagai n
shelookedlov ely..
.Onemor ethingaboutLizzy,
she'
sCanadi an. .
.shehasbl acklongbeautif
ul
hai
r,
she'stall
,hav elonglegsandv er
yattr
active.
.
Shelooksy oungert hanherage. .
.

Her
:okr
eady
Me:
yeah.
..
Wewalkedout si
det ot heGar age.
..Wegotinto
Dad'
sRanger overVela. .2018v er
sion.
.Itwas
sobeauti
ful.
.Tobehonestmydadi ssuper
ri
ch,
IguesshisLawf i
rmi smakinglotofmoney
pl
usotherinvestmentsheobv i
ouslymake..
.As
wewerest i
llr
eversingf rom theGarage,
Isaw
AnLambor ghini
av entador .
..

Me:
wai
t.
.wai
t.
..
Dad:
whati
sit
?

It
ookadeepbr
eat
htoj
ustcal
m my
sel
fdown.
.

Li
zzy
:ar
eyouokKr
issy
?
Me:ok.
..
tel
lmet
hat
'snotanLambor
ghi
ni
av
entador.
.
Dad:
wel
li
tis.
.
Iscr
eamed.
.

Me:ohhmy ..
.ohGod..OhmyGoddad...
oh
my..
.ok.
.IknowIdon'thaveal
icencebutIknow
howt odri
ve..
pleasecanyouj
ustborr
owedme
i
t.
..
10mi nutesonly.
.
Dad:
youknowIlovey
ousomuchKr
isbutt
hat
cari
stoobi
gforyou.
.
Me:
pleaseeeeeee.
..
.Li
zzy
?Pl
ease.
.
Hi
m:st
il
lano.
.

Hest
art
edr
ever
singagai
nthendr
oveout
..

Me:
Dadpl
ease.
..
Hi
m:Kr
isno.
.
Me:
pleasepl
ease.
.
Hi
m:nomat
terhowmuchy
oubegam st
il
l
say
ingno.
.
Me:
Dad.
..
Hi
m:no.
..
.
Me:
ok.
..
Hi
m:good.
.

Ileanedback, Iknowhe' srefusi ngbutIhadt o

hav et hatcar ,
thatwasmyf av ourit
ecarwel l
expectf rom BMW i 8,
Fer rari488GBTanda
2016AMGC635. .Daddr ovear oundshowi ng
mesomepl aces,wet henl aterdr ovetosome
beaut ifulrestorant..
..
whi lewewer estil
lwai t
ing
fort heor derwehadpl aced, Itookamomentt o
j
ustst udyt hepl ace,i
tr eall
ylookedbeaut i
f ul
..
.
Ev ent hewai t
ersar ev erybeaut i
fulandfriendly.
..
AsIwasst i
llstudyingt hepl acemyey escame
acr osst hisguy ,hewassi tt
edwi t
hsomegi rl
whol ookedl i
kear eplicaofhi m. .Theylooked
almostt hesameandIf i
guredt heymaybe
sibli
ngsort wi ns..Theyr eallylookedv ery
attracti
ve,thegi rlhadbl ondehai rwhi l
et heguy
hadbl ackhai r.Theyl ookedmyageormay bea
bitoldert hanme, Idon' tknowwhybutIkeptmy
stairont hem. .I
tlookedl iket heywer ecaught
upi nsomeheav yconv ersat i
on, Ilookedathi s
l
ipsmov e,theywer epinki shandGodknowshe
wasv eryhandsome. .Het henr aisedhi seyesto
met ogetherwi tht hegirl andqui cklyIl ooked
down, hopi ngt heydi dn'tcat chmest arring,
there'snot hingmor eembar r
assingt hanbei ng
caughtst ar ri
ng. .
..Embar rassmentf l
ashonmy
faceasIst i
l
l keptmyheaddownandonl yto
raiseitwhent hef oodcame. .

Dad:
fi
nal
l
y..

Hesaidstart
ingtoeat.
.f
oll
owedbyLizzy
..Ial
so
star
tedtoeatbutsuddenlyIhadl
ostmy
appeti
te.
.Ikeptpr
ayingthathedi
dn'
tseeme
star
ri
ng.
..Idi
dn'
tev
endar
erai
semyey
est
o
them

Dad:
pumpki
nyounoteat
ing.
..
why
?
Me:
I..
.I
..
.-
Him: i
sitaboutthecar
?Lookbabyam j ust
tr
yingt o.
..
.okf
ine.
.Iwi
llborr
owittoyou..
.and
wil
l gi
v ei
ttoyouwheny oual i
cencebutfor
nowy ouaregoingtouseitundermyname. .
.
Me:
what
?
Li
zzy
:he'
sgi
vi
ngi
ttoy
ou.
.f
orev
er
Dad:
Isai
dbor
rowi
ng.
.
Li
zzy
:i
tsst
il
lthesame.
.
Me:
ohMyHol
yMar
ryt
hanky
ousomuch.
.

Isai
dhuggi
nghim,t
hewayIwassoexcited
aboutt
heIhadevenfor
gotaboutt
hatguy.
.
Af
terawhi
l
ewewer
eathome.
..
AssoonaswegothomeIrushedtomy
room,
tookmyphoneandt
extTshepi
e..

"MydadgavemehisLambor
ghi
niav
ent
ador
sti
l
lcan'
tbel
i
evei
t!
!"

Af
terawhi
l
ehewasWhat
sAppcal
l
ing.
.

Me:
hey
Hi
m:hey
..
soy
ourdadgav
eyouhi
sLambor
ghi
ni?
Me:
yes!
!Andam soexci
ted.
.
Hi
m:am comi
ngov
ert
her
e..
.weneedt
ospi
nit
..

Webot
hlaughed.
..

Me:
Imi
ssy
ou.
.
Him:Imi
ssy outoo.
..School
wasn'
tthesame
todaywi
thoutyou,i
nfactnot
hingi
severt
he
samewithoutyou..
.
Me:
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evet
hisi
shappeni
ng.
.

Iwasal
readyget
ti
ngemot
ional
..
.

Hi
m:asl
ongasy
ouar
esaf
e..
.

Ibl
amedBandil
eforallt
his,
i
fonlyhedi dn'
t
abductme.
..
ift
her
e'sanymedi ci
netojusterase
hi
mi nmymindIswearIwoul dtakethem..I
hatehi
m somuch!
!

Me:
Decemberi
sar
oundt
hecor
ner
..
.
Hi
m:Icantwai
t.
..
Me:
howi
sAnt
ony
,Dy
lanandBK?
Hi
m:Theyar
eok.
..Butst
il
lar
gue.
.
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
..
Hi
m:whenar
eyoust
art
ingschool
?
Me:
Thur
sday
..
.
Hi
m:andy
ouar
ener
vous?
Me:
youknowmebet
ter
..
Hi
m:butyougoi
ngwit
hthebeastcart
oschool
?
I
twil
lbri
ngyoufame.
.
Me:
Idon'
twantanyf
ame.
.
Hi
m:y
oudon'
twantt
obeacool
kid?
Me:
no,
Ij
ustwannabeanor
mal
kid.
.
Him:
butyouwer
eacool
kidher
e,j
usty
oudi
dn'
t
knowit
..
Me:
ohhpl
ease.
.
Hi
m:am t
ell
i
ngy
ou.
..

MeandTshepi
etal
kedt
il
ll
ate,
aft
ert
alki
ngt
o
Tshepi
eIcall
edAlexthentalkedtomom al
so.
..
I
sl
eptabitl
ate.
..
butIslepti
nsmi l
es.
..
Thefol
lowingdayIwokeupabutl
ate,
Itooka
bat
hbef or
egoingdownst
air
swher
eIfound
Li
zzyinthekit
chen.
.

Her
:mor
ning.
..
Me:
hey
..
Her
:ar
eyouexci
tedaboutt
hecar
??
Me:
am ov
erexci
ted.
.
Her:well
..
Itookadayofftodaysomaybewe
cangoshoppi ngyouknow..maybegettoknow
theplacewhent her
e'sl
i
ghtunli
keyester
day
night.
.
Me:
ohh.
.ok.
.Iwoul
dlov
ethat
..
Her
:gr
eatnoweatsowecango.
.

It
ookt
hef
oodshewashandi
ngt
ome.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Her
:ar
eyouwear
ingey
econt
act
s?

Ihadremovedmyeyescont
acts.
..
nomakeAl
ex
hadforcedmetot
akethem of
f.
.

Me:
no.
..
am Il
ooki
ngscar
y?
Her
:Scar
ry?
?y oulookbeauti
ful.
..
.Youreyesar
e
r
eal
lybeaut
iful.
..Youarereal
lybeauti
ful
.
.
Me:
real
l
y?
Her
:yes.
..
sweet
hear
tyouar
eanat
ural
beaut
y..
Me:
thanky
ou.
..
Her
:okeatupandgochange.
..
Me:
yesMam!

Webot
hchuckl
ed.
.
Iat ethenwentandchanged.Af ewmi nutes
l
at erIwasi nmyLambor ghiniwithhergi v
ing
medi rectionst owher eexactlywewer egoi ng..
.
Itfeltgood, Ifelti
ncont r
ol.
..Iknewhowt odriv
e
throughmymom andTshepi e..
.Theyhad
taughtmeandsomet imesi droveTshepi es
mom Gol f7...SoIwaspr ettymuch
exper ienced..Wewal kedfrom shopt oshop
buy ingclot hesandsomeschool i
tems...Iwas
pleasedt oknowt hattheschool doesn'treall
y
wearuni form. .Onlyclot
hes..Wespentt he
whol edaybet weenshopsandev enthoughi t
wast iri
ngbutIhadsomuchf un.
.Weev enwent
tot estmycar .
..
Ar
ri
vi
nghomewef
ounddadal
readyhome.
.

Dad:
Iseey
ouguy
shadf
un.
..
Hesaidaswewalkedi
nwi
thourhandsf
ull
wit
h
shoppi
ngbags.
.

Me:
yeah.
.wedi
d..
Li
zzy
:i
twasr
eal
l
yfun.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.am gl
ady
ouguy
shadsomuchf
un.
.

Iwentupstai
rsandpackedmynewclothes
ni
cely
.Therewasaknockont hedoor,
i
twas
act
uall
yniceforsomeonetoknockonmydoor
bef
oreenteri
ngunli
kebackathomewher eby
mymom ent ersmyroom l
ikesheget
ti
ngi n
worl
dwar3. .

Me:
comei
n..

Mydadcamei
n..
Hi
m:hey
,doy
ouhav
eami
nut
e?
Me:
ofcause.
.

Hecamei
nandsatonmybed.
.

Hi
m:okt
ake.
.

Het
ookoutacr
edi
tcar
dfr
om hi
spocket
s..I
t
ooki
t.
.

Hi
m:that
'syourcredi
tcard,
Iwil
lal
way
sput
moneyinitever
ymont hend..
Me:
ohhThanky
ou.
.
Him:youwilluseitatschool
andforyourown
personalst
uff..
doy ouwantmetoescortyout
o
schooltomor r
ow?
Me:
no,
am sur
ewi
thdi
rect
ionsIwi
l
lar
ri
ve.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.

Hedi rectedme, thedi rectionswer er eall

ysi mple
andst raightf orwad.Af terpacki ngmycl ot
hesI
wentdownst ai
rsandat e,didn'tspendmuch
ti
met here,Iwentt omyr oom. .
talkedt o
mom, AlexandTshepi e, alsoDy l
an,BKand
Ant ony..
.talkingt othem al way smademe
happy ..
this,arethepeopl ewhohav ebeenwi t
h
meev ersi ncey oungageandt hef eeli
ngIf eel
towar dst hem gi vesmeasenseofbel onging..
ThedayIdi dn'twantf i
nal l
ycame, Ididn'twant
towakeupbutt henIguessi tsli
fe..Ipr epared,
wor esomeAmani T-shirt,abitov ersizedmal e
j
eanwi thNi keai rforceandt oppedi twi thacap. .
Ilookedr at herboy isht hangi rli
sh...Itookmy
slangbackt henwentDownst air
s,Lizzywas
alreadydonepr epar i
ngbr eakfast..

Me:
mor
ning.
Her
:hey
..
youl
ookdi
ff
erent
..
Me:
yeah.
.

Isatdownandst
art
edeat
ing,
aft
erawhi
l
eI
wasdone..

Her
:Goodl
uck.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lneedi
t.
..
Her
:don'
twor
ryt
heywi
l
llov
eyou.
..
Me:
Idon'
tknowhey
,seey
oul
ater
..
Her
:l
ater
..

Iwenttothegarage,
gotinmybeastcarand
drovetoschool
,
Ididn'
tgetl
ost..Idr
oveinsi
de
theschool
,andt
heywer eal
readycarsand
Alsot
hestudent
swereal
readyther
e..Idi
dn'
t
haveahar
dt i
mef i
ndi
ngaparki
ngspace..The
momentIpar kedey
eswereonme,If
eltl
ikethe
carshouldj
ustswall
owme..
.howam Igoingto
abl
et ocomeoutofthecar
?
.
.
TSHEPI
E
.
.
Iwal kedt oourpicturewet ookt ogetherwhen
wewer esti
lldoi
ngFor m3, shehadabeaut i
f ul
smi l
et hatsheal way shis..abeaut i
fullaught hat
shet houghti twasembar rassing..Imi ssed
her,Kr i
swast hef amilymyownf ami l
ycoul dn't
give..shehasal way sbeenmysi stersince
form1t i
llnow,wemetator ientat i
onandf r
om
therewecl i
ckedt il
lnow, she'st heonl ypersonI
feelsaf etosayany t
hingt owi thoutf ear..Wi th
hergonei tsprett
yhar d,Iputt hepi cturedown
asIhear dmypar ent sscr eami ngateachot her,
theyhav est arted..
that'stheev erydayr out i
ne...
Somet imesIj ustwonderwhyt heyar est i
ll
togetheri ftheyf i
ghtlikethis,
Ihav easi ster
Masego. .
whosemar ri
ed, sheliterallygot
mar riedat20, itseemsl ikehermar ri
agei sa
sinkingbr idgeandt hef actthatshef orcedher
wayi nt ot hismar ri
ageaf t
ermom anddad
refusedmakesi thardf orhert ocomeback. .
Thoughwet alkev erydaybuti tdoesn' tf eelthe
same, Krisr eplacedheri nmyl ife,shet ookt he
roleofbei ngasi st
ertome. .Ij
ustcoul dn't
handl et hescr eami ngany mor e, i
twasget t
ing
l
ouderandl oudersoIdeci dedt oj ustgetsome
Space, soIdr ov eovert oDy l
an'scr ib..Roughl y
40mi nut esl aterIwaswi t
hDy lani nhi sr oom. .

Hi
m:y
oul
ookl
i
keawi
dowchi
cken.
.
Me:
Ifeel
li
keone.
.
Hi
m:ssup?
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
bet
weenmi
ssi
ngKr
isand
hav
ingamessedupf
ami
l
y..
Hi
m:y
ouneedsomebeer
..
.
Me:
yeah.
.l
etmehi
tupbae.
..
Hi
m:bae?Ther
e'sanewchi
ck?
Me:
yeah.
.

Isai
dtext
ingAl
ex.
.

Hi
m:whoseshe?
Me:
Alex.
.
Hi
m:Al
ex?
?
Me:
Alexandr
aThompson.
.
Hi
m: ni
ggathefuck?
?Ar
eyouhigh?That
'
sKr
is'
s
si
ster.
..I
tswr
ongandyouknowit.
.
Me:
Iknow,
butIl
oveher
..
Hi
m:Modi
mont
huse!
!(
GodHel
pme)
.
.
.
*
*Tobecont
inued*
*
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t6
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Theat tenti
onIwasget ti
ngwasn'
tthatmuch
pleasingtome, infactitscar
edme.Myl egsjust
feltheavyinstantl
yandmyhear tbeat
accelerated.Itookav erydeepbr
eathtojusttry
andcal m down, t
herewasnowayoutof
this,
somehowsomewayIhadt ogetoutofthe
caratsomemoment ,soonerorlater..Af ter
gatheringsomecour ageIgotoutoft he
car,
keptmyheaddownwhi leIstudiedt he
school mapmydadhadgi venmet hepr ev i
ous
day..Af t
erawhi l
eIwaswal ki
ngtowar dst he
admi nistr
ationwi t
hmyheaddowni gnor ingal l
theey esthatst ungmyski n.Itookaheav yloud
sighassoonasIgoti nt headministrat i
on. .I
walkedt ot hereceptionist.
..Theladyt hatsat
theregav emeav erywi desmi l
e..
Me:
Goodmor
ning,
I
'm Kr
ist
inThompson.
.
Her
:ohhhKr
ist
inMacv
erdana
Me:
uhhh.
.y
eah
Macv
erdanaismydadssur name,
Iusemy
momsev enthoughmydadhadalwayswanted
t
ochangeit,
am surehe'
stheonewhotol
dthem
t
ouseHissur nameonme. .
Her:
takethisregi
str
ati
onform,fi
l
litandmake
sur
ei nall
thelessonsyouwill
begoingt oy
ou
maket heteacher
ssign,
aft
erthedayy oubr
ing
i
tback.Onemorethi
ng,yourdadexpl
ainedto
usthatyouar
egoodinsciencessounl
ikesome
otherki
dswhodoCreati
veartsand
perfor
manceyouwil
lbedoingthesci
ences.
..
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:doy
ouhav
etheschool
map?
Me:
yes
Her
:Good,
nowt
akey
ourt
imet
abl
e..
Shehandi
ttome.
..
Her
:shoul
dItakey
out
oyourcl
assory
oucan
doi
ty our
sel
f?
Me:
no,
don'
twor
ryy
our
sel
fIwi
l
lmanage.
..
Her
:okKr
ist
inMacv
erdanahav
eagr
eatday
..
Ismi
ledasIwalkedaway,deepdownIwanted
hert
otakemetot hecl
assbutIdidn'
twantt
o
comeupstupi
di nfr
ontofher.
.
Ist
udiedthemaponelastti
mebef
orewalki
ng
outoftheadmi
nist
rat
ion.
.Fi
ndi
ngmyclass
wasn'tmuchhar dandwhatmadei tmuchmor e
easierist hatitwaswr ittenont hedoor .There
wasn'tanyki dsr unningar oundt heschool soI
fi
guredi twasal r
eadyt i
meup.WhenIgott othe
classthedoorwascl osed, tobehonestIwas
scared..
bei nganewcomerai n'talway sfun,well
i
t'sneverf unt ome. .Iheldmybr eat hasI
knocked, Ihear dav oicecommandi ngmet o
comei n,Iwashoppi ngf ort hedoort obe
openedf ormebutt heopposi tehappened. .This
i
st hewor stdayIhav eev erhad. .AllIwanti s
turnheads, gobackt omycaranddr i
veaway .
.
Afteraloti fhesi tat
ionIopenedt hedoorandas
expectedal l
ey eswentonme, Iwal kedt othe
teacherwhost oodi nfrontoft hecl ass..My
handswer etrembl i
ngt hatIev enr ubbedt hem
together..Thet eacherwasawoman, shelooked
somewher ear oundmi d30' s.
.
Her
:youar
emustbeKr
ist
inMacv
erdana.
..
Me:
yes.
.
Her:
wellam MrsBell
,
Iwill
betaki
ngyoufor
l
iter
atur
eReview,t
hisareyourcl
assmat
es..
fi
nd
yoursel
fasi
tandsettl
e..
Bef oreIt urnedt olookf orasi tIgav ehert he
registrationf orm Ihadbeengi vensoshe
signs, af
tershesi gnedIl ookedt othecl asswho
alsohadt heirStarronme, t
heonl ysitt hatwas
avai l
ablewast heoneatt heback,thankGod
therewasnoshar i
ngofdesks.Iwal ked
towar dsi tunt i
lIgott her ethenIsatdown, aft
er
awhi l
et hel essonhadcont inued, i
twasn' tthat
bad. .
itwasabi tdiff
erentf r
om thel it
er atureI
didbackhomebuti twasok.Wewr ot esome
poems, t
henaf terthatl essonaccor dingt omy
ti
met ableIhadt ogof ormyaddMat hlesson, I
wasn' tdoi ngaddmat hpr evi
ousbutIwasgood
i
nmat hs, asIwal kedt her eIwasst oppedby
someonescr eami ngmyname, Ilookedback
andIsawsomebeaut i
f ulblondegir lrunning
afterme, shewasbeaut if
ulnol i
e..
Her
:hi
am Bar
rySt
ephani
e.
Me:
andam.
..
.Howdi
dyouknowmyname?
Her:
wel
lIwaswit
hyouintheli
terat
urel
esson,
I
si
tbesi
desyouonyourl
eftsi
de..
Me:
ohh.
.
Her
:yeah,
sowhat
'sy
ournextl
esson?
Me:
addmat
h..
Her:
ohhwell
am goingf
ormyGymnast
ics
l
essonbuti
bdopassbytheaddmat
hclass,
we
canwalkt
ogether
..
.
Me:
ok,
that
'sgr
eat
..
West
art
edwal
ki
ngt
owar
dst
hecl
ass.
.
Her
:sowher
ewer
eyouschool
i
ngbef
ore?
Me:
wel
li
nBot
swana,
Afr
ica.
.
Her
:ohh.
.Ihav
eal
way
swant
edt
ogot
oAf
ri
ca.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
ltakey
ounextt
ime.
.
Her
:doso.
..
wel
lMexi
can.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:youaredoi
ngsci
enceswr
it
e..
?youar
ein
t
hescient
ifi
cgur
uscl
ass?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:If
igur
ed,
ever
yonewell
almostever
yone
whodoesaddMathdothesci
ences.
..
Me:
sowhatabouty
ou?Whatdoy
oudo?
Her
:Idomusi
c..
.
Me:
thatmustbef
un.
.
Her
:Iwi
shmyparent
sthoughtso.
.Theywant
ed
metodoSci
ence'
s..
.
Me:
ohh.
.
Her
:yeah.
.andwear
eher
e..
Il
ookedatt
hedoor
..
Me:
ohh.
.t
hanks.
.
Her
:any
time.
..UmmhIwi
l
lcomepi
cky
ouaswe
gof
orbreak.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:hav
efuncr
acki
ngy
ourbr
ain.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ohhwel
lhav
efunbr
eaki
ngy
ourbones.
.
Sheal sol aughed. .Iwalkedinsidetheclass..
Unliket helit
eraturelessonthi sonedidn't
i
ntroducemel oudl y,
hejustsignedt he
registrati
onsl i
pt hent ol
dmet ositdown, t
hough
eyeswer eonmeal sobutIdi dn'tpayattenti
on
toit..Unli
kei nLiteraturesomebodyact uall
y
turnedt olookatme. ..
Hi
m:hi
,
am Beny
ouar
e?
Me:
Kri
sti
nbutcal
lmeKr
is
Hi
m:okKri
swel
comet
othener
dscl
assorso
t
heycal
li
t.
.
Isof
tl
ylaughedatt
hat
..
Him:
theycal
lusner
dsandIbel
i
evey
ouar
e
doi
ngthesci
ences?
Me:
yes.
.
Him:ok,
metoo.
.andt
hatbasi
cal
l
ymakesy
oua
nerd.
.ummhareyounew?
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:f
rom?
Me:
Afr
ica.
.
Him:
ok,l
etmebri
efl
yexpl
aint
hisschool
to
you.
.t
heesoci
all
i
fe.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Him: okf i
rstlytherearet hecool ki
dsor
what evert heycal l
them. .therichkids.
.t
he" i
t"
kidsownt hi sschool..I
fy ouar enotdrivingany
carwor th$16000+t heny ouar enotpartof
them. .
infacti fyoudon' thav eacardon' teven
thinkofgoi ngneart hem. ..i
fyourdadormot her
doesn'townany thingisitashop, companydon't
event hinkofgoi ngneart hecool ki
ds.
.One
mor ething, i
fyoudon' tdr essfancydon't?
Me:
event
hinkofi
t.
.
Hi
m:good.
.t
hent
her
ear
ethemi
dli
feki
ds.
.wel
l
basicall
yy oushouldatleasthavea
car,motorbike.
.Oranymodeoft r
ansport.
.
Expensiveornot .
..
.youshouldatleastdr
ess
wel l
ohhandy oushouldstayatabet t
er
house...
atleast.
.Thent her
earethelowlif
e
kids..
.y
oudon' twannabet hem..t
herearethe
oneswi thnobasicsoci all
if
e..
nomodeof
transport
,thebesttheycandoi sabicycl
e..
.No
fancyclothes,nonot hi
ng..
Me:
wow!
Him:wedon'
tmix,i
fyouaretheitki
d,youhang
outwit
hitki
ds..
ify
ouareami dlif
ey oualso
hangoutwit
hmi dli
fepeopleandifyouarea
l
owl i
feyouhangoutwithlowli
fekids..
Me:sodoingsci
encesbuty
ounotr
ichathome
doesn'
tcount?
Him:i
tdoesn'
t.
.Educati
ondoesn'treall
y
count.
.y
oucandoar t,
music,
fibr
icmi xed
fashi
onor..
butsti
l
litmeansnothing..Your
ri
chnessiswhatdeter
mineswhoy ouar e..
Me:
sowhi
chcardoy
oudr
ive?
Hi
m: wel
lam amidli
feper
sonandIdri
vea
MercedesE400.
.whatdoyoudr
ive?
Me:
wel
lI.
.-
Befor eIcouldfini
sht hegi
rlt
hatIsawwhenI
wasatt herestaur
antwi t
hLizzyanddadcame
i
n. .
theonewhowaswi t
htheboy,Ieventhought
theywer esibli
ngs..Yesthatone.
.shecame
i
n. .
looki
ngspl endi
d..shewaswear i
ngdesigner
clothesandshehadt heIownthe" worl
dwalk".
..
Ben:
andthat'
sJupit
er.
.sheandherbrot
herare
basi
cal
l
yt hefamouskidsinschool
.
.Venus..
Me:
Venus?
Hi
m:y
es,
Venus.
Il
aughed.
.howcansomeonebecal
l
edVenus?
Me:
arey
ouser
iousr
ightnow?
Hi
m:yes.
.herTwi
nbrot
her..
andbot
hoft hem
t
heyareJeremyandJordanah'
ssi
bli
ngs..Do
y
ouknowJer
emy
?
Me:
no.
..
sot
heyar
ether
ichest
?
Him:y
es..hav
ingabrotherl
ikeJer
emyandsi
ster
l
ikeJordanah..
.i
saniceli
feprobl
em.
.
Andonemor ethi
ngifyouknowwhat'sgoodfor
you..
don'
tst
andinthei
rwayorelseyouwill
stopcomingtoschool
forther
estofyourli
fe.
..
-
Hewasdi
stur
bedbyt
het
eacher
..
Teacher
:MrEvely
nIthi
nkyouhav
edone
enoughint
roduct
iont
here.
.
Heturnedandlookedatthet eacherwhothen
cont
inuedthelesson.
.Ikeptsteali
ngsecr
et
gl
ancesatthisJupit
ergir
l.
..Shehada
i
nti
midati
nglook.
Aft
erawhilet
helessonhadcometoanend.
.I
walkedoutwi
thBenthenImetBar
ryatt
he
door.
.
Her
:hey
..
.hi
Ben
Ben:Barr
y..
.ohhBarr
yisacool
kidsoy
oudon'
t
exactl
yyouknow. .
Bar
ry:
ohhKr
isi
sar
ichki
d..
Ben:
youare?whi
chcardoy
oudr
iveandwhat
doesyourdadown.
.
Me:
well
IdriveaLambor
ghi
niAv
ent
ador
..
and
mydadis.
.-
Bar
ry:
herdadi
sTay
lorMacv
erdana.
.
Ben:
wow!
ohhwel
lIwi
l
lseey
ouar
ound.
.
Me:
can'
twej
usthangout
?
Hi
m:noli
keIsaidmi
dli
feki
dsdon'
thangout
wi
thri
chkids.
.
Me:
wecanj
ustbr
eakt
her
ules.
..
Ben:
that'
snotabadi
deabutnoonehasev
er
donethat.
.
Bar
ry:
yeah.
.butwecanal
way
sbet
hef
ir
stones.
.
Me:
oknowl
et'
sgoeat
..
Wet henwalkedtot hecafet
eria,st
oodinli
ne
whil
eBarryandBenexpl ai
nedt heschoolt
o
me..someofthest uffwerecrazyifyouaskme.
.
Aswewer ewal ki
ngt othetablesaftert
aki
ng
foodBarr
yexplainedsomet hingagain..
Barr
y:onemoret
hingKr
is.
.y
ousitwi
tht
he
peopl
ewitht
hesamesociall
if
e..
Me:
what
?
Her
:yep.
.
Ben:
okIwi
l
lseey
ouguy
slat
er.
.
Hesaidwal
ki
ngtowardst hisothertabl
e..Bar
ry
tookmetot
hisothertabl
e..Ital
sohadpeopl e
andfi
gur
edtheywereherf r
iends..Assoonas
wesatdownsheintr
oducedme. .
Her:ummhguy sthi
sisKr i
sti
nMacv er
danabut
call
herKr isandKri
st hat'sJessi
cabutwecall
herJes,that'
sTimothybutwecal l
him
Tim,that'
sDrake,Al
ice, Leah,
Jack,I
sabell
ebut
wecal lherBell
a,
Hope, Ashlyandthenlast
ly
Ki
m..
Theywav edatme. .West art
edeating,
tobe
honestIhadf orgot
tentheirnamesIonly
remember edLeah..maybebecauseshewast he
mostbeaut i
fuloutofthem allorshewasblack,
betweenthose2.Theywer eengaginginsome
conversat
ion..
.ohhIalsoremember ed
Ali
ce..
becauseshehadRedhai r
..
Al
i
ce:
ummhBar
ry,
di
dn'
tyout
ell
her
?
Bar
ry:
wel
l
..
Al
ice:
don'tworr
yIwill
dothehonour
s..Look
Kr
isDarli
ng,wedon'
thangoutwit
hMi dli
fe
st
udentsorthe..
..
.l
owlif
e's.
..
Iwant
edtoscr
eam thatspurenonsensebutI
j
usthel
dmysel
f..
andjustnodded..
Ali
ce:good,
nowBeni samidli
festudent
meaningther
eshouldn'
tbeanyrel
ation
betweenyouguys.
.Barr
yshouldhavetoldy
ou
sooner.
.
Barryjustkeptherheaddown. .Iturnedand
l
ookedov eratt hedeskwher eBenhad
went...
hesmi l
edatMeandIr eturnedt hesmi l
e
thenfocusedont hef oodwhi leIstudi ed
everyoneint histableandaccor dingt omeAl i
ce
wasorhadanat ti
tudepr oblem.Iev enWonder
whyt hestudent sr ul
eeachot herliket hat..
it
s
stupi
dandchi ldishthatt heyruleeachot her
accordingt otheirpar entspocket s..i
twoul d
havebeenbet terifitwast hei
rownmoney ..
the
factthattheyar eal lnothingwi t
houtt hei
r
parent'
smoneymakest hem lowl ife'sBy
nature..
.Af t
ereat i
ngBar r
y ,
LeahandIwal kedto
thenextcl ass,
for t
unat el
ywewer eal lgoingfor
abiologylesson. .
Her
:hey
,am Leahl
i
keshesai
d..
Me:
andam Kr
isl
i
keshesai
d..
Her
:pl
easedon'
tmi
ndAl
i
ce,
shesl
i
ket
hat
..
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:youar
ebeaut
if
ul.
.
Barr
y :
Iagree..
youarereal
l
ybeauti
ful
.
.Il
ikeyour
senseoff ashi
onbutIknowthere'
sasexybody
behindthoseclothes.
.
Me:
thanky
ouguy
s..
yout
oo.
.
Bar
ry:
let'
shurr
ybef
oreMrsRubenthrowsusi
n
det
enti
on..
.Andam sur
eyouwoul
dn'tli
ket
hat
..
Shesai dasthesirenrang..
therestoftheday
wasthesame. .
somet eachersint
roducedmet o
theclass,somedidn'tei
therwayitwasf ine.
.I
wasnowget ti
ngusedt otheenv i
ronment
especiall
ywithBarryandLeahwi thme. .After
school wemetupwi thBenalongwaygoi ngto
ourcars..
Ben:
and?
howdoy
ouf
indt
heschool
?
Me:apar
tfrom t
hedi
scr
imi
nati
ont
hathappens
uponrul
ingeachot
heri
tsok.
.
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryy
ouwi
l
ladj
ust
..
Me:
Ihopeso.
.butwhoi
nvent
edt
hat
?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowt
oo,
Ifoundt
hist
hings
happeni
ng.
.
Me:
ok.
..
Leah:
ummhguy
sby
e..
Shesai
dwalkingt
owar
dsaBMW r
ed
conv
ert
ibl
e..
Us:
bye.
.
Aft
erwalkingf
orsomewhileBarrywentt
oher
RangeroverEvouquet
henwhenwegott omine
youshouldhaveseenBensface.
.
Him:fuck!
!t
hiscartakesi
tall
wel
lapartfr
om
Venus'sBmwi 8..
wellandsomeotherfew
cars.
.youreal
lydeservet
obeacool ki
d..
Me:
Ireal
l
ywoul
dli
keUst
obef
ri
ends
Hi
m:sodoI,
tohel
lwi
tht
hefucker
yt hatgoeson
i
nthi
sschool
..Wear
eoff
ici
all
yfr
iends..
Wel
aughedt
oget
her
..
Me:
ok.
.seey
out
omor
row.
.
Igoti
nmycarandr
ever
sedwi
thsomeey
eson
me..Ijustignor
ed,pretendedli
keIdi
dn'tsee
them. .Thejour
neybackhomewasmuchf ast
er
thanint hemor ni
ngbecausenowIknewt he
road..Arri
vinghomeIf oundLizzyal
ready
home. .she'
saUni ver
sityl
ectur
e..
Her
:l
ongday
?
Me:
youwon'
tbel
i
eve!
Isai
dthr
owingmysel
font
hecouch.
.Indeedi
t
wasalongday.
.
Her
:howdi
ditgo?
Me:
thestudent
srul
eeachotheroutaccor
ding
t
ohowr i
chtheyarepar
ent
sar e.
.
Her:
yeah.
.Ihavenoti
cedwhi chiswhyi
t'
sa
goodthi
ngt haty
ouar eusingtheLambor
ghi
ni.
.
Don'
tworryy ouwil
ladjust
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:anyf
ri
ends?
Me:
yes.
.3butt
heot
heronei
sami
dli
fe
st
udent
..
Her
:andy
ouar
ea?
Me:
ri
chki
d..
it
'sal
lst
upi
dify
ouaskme.
.
Her
:Idoagr
eeont
hatone.
.any
wayt
her
e'sf
ood.
.
Me:
l
etmegoandchange.
..
Iwentupstairstomyr oom soIchangeto
comfortabl
ecl ot
hes.
.AssoonasIgoti nmy
room Icall
edTshepiethroughWhatsApp..He
answeredaf t
erawhile..
Hi
m:hey
..
Me:
hey
..
Ihav
ejustl
andedhome.
.
Hi
m:Iar
ri
vedl
ongti
meago.
.howmanyhour
s
ar
eyoubehi
ndwit
h?
Me:
i
dk.
.af
ewbutl
etmet
ell
youaboutschool
It
oldhi
m al
lofi
tandaf
terIwasdonehewas
l
aughi
ngsohard.
..
Him:l
olsowhatyouar
etr
yingt
osaythat
becauseIdon'
thav
eacaram alowl
i
fe?
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
'sf
ucker
yati
t'
sbest
..
.
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
.
Hi
m:butam gl
ady
oumadef
ri
ends.
.
Me:
soam I
..
.howwasschool
?
Hi
m:i
twasok.
.
Wet alkedsomemor et henlat
erhungup. ..The
ni
ghtendedwel l
,
whendadcamebackheasked
meaboutschool andItoldhim,wellhealsotol
d
mehechangedmysur name. .
.Ididn'
thav ea
problem withi
t.
.i
twasboundt ohappen
anyti
me. .ThenextdayIwokeupabi tear
ly.
.
Preparedandaf t
erawhi l
eIwasdone. .WhenI
wentt othekit
chenLizzywasal readydone
cooking..
Me:
hey
..
Her
:mor
ning.
.r
eadyf
ort
oday
?
Me:
doIhav
eachoi
ce?
Aft
erawhi l
eIwasdrivi
ngtoschool
..Assoon
asIparkedIsawBarrywalki
ngtowardsme..I
gotoutofthecarandwalkedtowar
dsher
meetingherhal
fway.
.TheStarr'
swerether
ebut
notthatmuch..
Me:
hey
..
Her:
hi.
.y
oul ooksosexy
..
.t
het
omboyl
ooksui
ts
you.
.ar
ey oustrai
ght
?
Iwaswear i
ngwhiteTi
mber
lands,
awhi
te
over
sizedjeandungar
eewi
thacropt
opand
l
astl
ywi t
hawhi t
ecap..
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:ok.
.l
et'
sgo.
.
Wewal kedtot heclassbutgotst oppedby
somegi rlwhodr oppedherbooksbymi stake,
I
wasaboutt ogohel pherwhent hehotguyIhad
seenwi t
hJupi t
erhel pedher,Venus..Hehelped
herpickupt hebooks. .andhereIwast hinki
ng
thatbecausehe'st her i
chestheshoul dalso
havesomeatti
tude..Buthewastheopposi
te.
.
Aft
erhelpi
ngoutthegirlhest
oodupand
walkedawaypassingus..
Barr
y:andthat'
sVenus,
thehottestguyi
nthi
s
school,
Jupit
er'
stwi
nbrother
..
.
Me:
he'
sni
ce.
.
Her:
yeah..
hereal
lydoesn'
tcarei
fhe'sri
chor
nothejusthel
psoutwhoev erbuthangsout
Withhi
sRugbyf ri
endswhoarerichkidsal
so
buthe'
sreall
yfri
endly
..
Me:
Isee.
.
Her:
andonemorethi
nghedoesn'
tdategir
ls
fr
om thi
sschool
,
ohhmaybeonce.
.hedated
Lucyandthenbr
okeupwit
hherafteraweek.
.
Me:
aweek?
Her
:yeah.
.i
tscr
azybuti
thappened.
.
Me:
wow.
.
Her
:andt
hegi
rlwhodr
oppedherbooks,
that
'
s
Sar
ah,
she'
sal
owl
i
fest
udent
..
Me:
ok.
.
Wewal kedtoourclassbutt hatVenusguywas
sti
l
l stuckinmymi nd..
.wel lbecauseofhis
behav i
or..He'
skindnessr eallytouchedmy
heartandal soforthefactthathehasaf unny
name. .Ifel
tli
kelaughi
ngev erymomentwher e
i
tact uall
ycrossedmymi ndt hathe'snameis
actuallyVenus..
.
.
*
**ToBeCont
inued*
**
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t7
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
AssoonasIgoti
nthecl
asswi
thBarr
y,Ifound
Leahsi
tt
ingonmychai
r.
..
shel
ookedbeauti
ful
.
.
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Me:
hey

Shest
oodupandsatonmydeskwhi
l
eIsat
down.
.
Her
:adj
ust
ing?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her:
great
,sot
her
eareschool
presi
dent
ial
el
ecti
onsnextweek.
.
Me:
ohh.
.
Her
:andguesswhosecampai
gni
ngt
oo?

Bar
ryscr
eamedt
hatev
ery
onet
urnedand
l
ookedather
..
.

Bar
ry:
Jer
emi
ah!
Me:
andwhoset
hat
?
Leah:
wellhe'
sbasical
l
yBar
ry'
scr
ushaswel
las
Jupit
er'
sboyf
riend.
.
Barr
y:t
her
e'snothi
ngwr
ongwi
thhav
ingal
i
ttl
e
anonymouscrush.
.
Leah:
yeahwhat
ever
,am al
soi
n..

Bar
rywasquitef
orawhi
l
ethenshecr
acked
i
ntolaught
er.

Bar
ry:
you?
Leah:
yesme,what
'swr
ongwi
thmeal
so
campaigni
ng?
Icouldtell
thingswereabouttogetheated,
somehowLeahwasr eall
ygett
ingupset
.Iguess
thefactthatBarrydoesn'
tthi
nkshecanal so
runforPresidentreal
l
yupsether..

Leah:
what
?don'
tyout
hinkt
hatam goodenough?
Bar
ry:
noI
..
.-
Leah:
youwhat
?
Me:
ummhwewi
l
lsuppor
tyou.
.r
ightBar
ry?
Barr
y:y
eah..
.Ij
ust
..
wel
lifJeremi
ahis
campaigni
ngandconsider
inghowf amoushei
s
howarewegoi ngtoy
oumanyv ot
es?
Me:howaboutpost
ers?
or.
..
may
beyoucanset
upapubli
cspeechtoaddr
esst
hest
udent
'syou
know..
Leah:
ok..
thatmayworkbutwegoingtohaveto
comeupwi thabet
terst
rategy
..Thankyouguy
s
fort
hinki
ngIcanal
sohav eachance..
Bar
ry:
wear
efr
iendsaf
teral
lri
ght
?
Me:
yeah.
.

Iwasjustgl
adthatt
hingsdi
dn'
tendbadl
y
becausebythewayLeahwasgetti
ngupsetno
doubtshi
twasabouttohitt
hefan.
.

Barr
y:Ihavenaught
ysibl
ingssoIdon'
tthi
nkwe
candoi toveratmyhouse..
Leah:
mydad.
..
wellhe'
snott
hatmuch.
.y
ou
knowhe'
supt
ight
..
Me:wel
lyoucanguy scancomeathome..
my
dadand..
.and.
..Li
zzy
..Theywontmi
nd.
.am sur
e
theywon'
t..
Leah:
greatt
hen.
.umm sowhencanwecome?
Me:
any
timei
sok.
.
Bar
ry:
Ithi
nkt
omor
rowwi
l
ldo.
.
Leah:
yeah.
.ummhl
et'
sexchangenumber
sso
t
omor
rowwedon'
thav
eapr
obl
em.
.
Me:
yeah.
.

Weexchangedournumber s,andaf terawhi le

wehadal readyst ar
tedwiththelessons. .My
fi
rstlessonwast heSciences..Leaht ookme
becauseshehappenedt obepassi ngbyt he
classonherwayt oArt.
.Get t
inginsidetheonl y
personIr ecognizedwasBenwhowav edatme,
therewer etablesoccupy i
ngt heroom and
student swer esit
tedinpairsoftwo. .Andi t
seemedl i
keBenal r
eadyhadapar tnerandt he
onlyspacet hatwasn' toccupiedwast hetable
withnoone. .Iwentsatoni taft
erwav i
ngback
atBen. .Thet eachergotinafterawhi le.
.Itwas
ashe. .

Her
:Mor
ningcl
ass
Af
ewst
udent
sgr
eet
edback.
.

Her:
Idobel
i
evewehaveanewst
udenther
e,Ms
Kr
ist
inMacver
danar
ight
?

Shesai
dlooki
ngatme

Me:
yes.
.
Her
:t
hat
'sl
ovel
y.
.Am Mr
sSel
da.
.

Asthel essonwasgoi ngon,Jupit

erandVenus
camei n,hesspikehairst
ylewhichwasabi t
messyr eall
ysuithim well
,aswellasJupiter
wellshecutherhai rattheleftcornerofher
headandt i
ntedBlueandsheTi eitapony tai
l.
.
Shelookedf lames,herbeautywasi nanother
l
evel..Shecameandsatbesi desmewhi l
e
Venuswentandsatont hedeskbehi ndtheone
Iwassi tti
ngon. .
.Thet eacherj usti gnor edthem
continuingwi t
ht helesson, wenev erexchanged
evenonewor dtoeachot herandIwast otally
fi
newi ththat,hav eyouev erseenav er y
beaut i
fulpersonbutwi t hani nti
mi datingl ook
thatyoucan' tevenscr atchoutaheyf rom y our
mout h?Shewast hatkindofper sonandInev er
didami st
aket olookather ,matteroff acti sI
wasf ocussedonmybooks. .Immedi atelyaf t
er
thelessoncamet oanend, shest oodupandcat
walkedherwayoutf ollowedbyherbr other..I
fi
nall
ycoul dbr eathaftershewasgone. .Iwas
start
ledabi tbyBensv oice. .

Hi
m:hey
..
.scar
edy
ou?
Me:
no.
.what
'sup?
Hi
m:not
hingmuch,
howwassi
tt
ingwi
thJupi
ter
?
Me:can'
treal
l
ycomplai
n,wenev
err
eall
y
exchangedonewor
dt oeachot
her
..
Him:
wel l
shenev erreall
ytal
ktonobody's.
.Like
usandev er
yoneher e,
ifyouarenotherfri
endor
fami
lythenbasicall
yy ouareanobody..
unli
ke
Jupi
terVenusisactual l
ybett
er.
.hesj
ustkind..
Me:
Ifi
gur
ed.
..
Hi
m:sowhat
'sy
ournextl
esson?
Me:
ohham supposedtogofor
my.
.ummh.
.hist
oryl
esson.
.
Him:
ok..
ummhwel
lam goi
ngf
orBi
ology
..See
youl
ater
.
Me:
ok.
.by
e..

Hewal kedout,
foll
owedbymewhoact uall
y
wentf ormyHistoryl
essonwi t
houtactuall
y
getti
nglost.
.Thelessonwentwel l
,
theonl y
problem i
sIwaswi thAli
ce.
.ThankGodIwasn' t
si
ttedany wher
enearher,Ireall
ydon'tneed
unnecessarydramar i
ghtnow..AtbreakImet
upwi thLeah,
BarryandBen...
butasIexpected
Benwentt ohi
stablewer
ehisfri
endsIsuppose
were..Thewhol
edaybasical
lyt
hewasok, Iwas
gett
ingtoknowtheschoolmuchbetter
..I
twas
aft
erschoolandIwaswithBarr
yandLeah
tel
l
ingmeaboutt hespor
tssomestudents
part
akeon..

Leah:okwellt
herei
sTennis,
Net
bal
l
,Vol
l
eybal
l
,
softball
,
hockeyandsoccer.
.
Bar
ry:
am noti
nanyspor
t,
am act
ual
l
yina
cl
ub.
.amusicalcl
ub.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Leah:youarenotreal
l
yfor
cedt
odoany
thi
ng,
wellIplayt
ennis.
.
Me:Ineverreal
l
yplay
edany
thi
ngatmy
pr
eviousschool.
.
Barr
y:ok.
.butther
e'sal
soswi
mmi
ngi
fyouar
e
noti
nterested.
..
Ididn'
twannaembar rassmy selfonthefact
thatIactual
lydi
dn'
tknowhowt oswim,t
heonly
peopleIknewwhoknewhowt oswim was
Alex,
DylanandTshepie..Ineverreal
l
ygot
i
nterestedinswimming..

Me:
Ithi
nkIwi
l
ljustset
tl
efort
henot
hingspor
t.
.

Wel
aughed.
.

Bar
ry:
goodchoi
ce.
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Leah:
sodoy
ouhav
eanypl
ansf
ort
oni
ght
?
Me:
no.
.
Bar
ry:
Ido,
Iam meet
ingmyboy
fri
endf
ordi
nner
..
Leah:wel
lam goi
ngtothi
sot
herpar
ty.
.wel
li
ts
actual
lyVenus'
spar
ty.
.
Me:
forwhat
?hi
sbi
rt
hday
?
Leah:
no.
.j
ustapar
ty.
.
Bar
ry:
hav
efun,
sodi
ddaddyupt
ightagr
ee?
Leah:
am sneaki
ng.
.
Me:
sneaki
ng?Won'
thet
ri
pifhef
indsout
?
Leah:
hewon'
tfundout
,Ial
way
scov
ermyt
racks
well
..
Me:
okGoodl
uckhey
..
Leah:
l
etmeguessy
ouhav
esneakout
?
Me:y
eah.
.Ir
eal
l
yhatedoingshadythi
ngs,
they
al
wayshaveabadwayifendi
ng..
Bar
ry:
Iagr
eewi
tht
hat
..
alway
s!!
Leah:
ther
ulei
s..
.don'
tgetcaught
..
Bar
ry:
hav
efunhey
..
Me:
yeahhav
efun.
.

Af
terawhi
l
ewewer
eal
readybackt
olessons,
I
wasnowi nmyl astlessonwhichwas
Chemi st
ry.
.Noact ual
lymakeitIwasr ushing
ther
e..Igotpostsomewher ealongt hewayand
Iwasal r
eady10mi nut
eslater
..ThemomentI
sawthedoorwr itt
enChemLabIr ushed
ther
e,openingthedoorIf oundt het eacheri n
middleofthelesson. .
.Andalley eswentonme
asusual..Don'
tt hi
skidsgettiredofst arr
ingall
theti
me?
Thet
eacherwasal
soawoman.
.

Her:
andyouar
eLateMsMacv erdanaDent
ati
on
45minut
esimmedi
atel
yaf
terschool.
.

Ij
ustnoddedt henwenttolookf orasi
t,
it
act
uall
yr eal
lysuckthati
tsactuall
ymysecond
dayatschool andam alr
eadybeingputin
detent
ion..I
mmedi at
elyaft
erIsatdownt he
doorswungopenagai nwit
hVenusandsome
guygetti
ngin,tobehonestthi
swast hethir
d
seei
nghi
m..nott
hatIwascomplaini
ngi
thad
beencoi
nci
denceinal
lthecasesanyway.
.

Teacher
:ahhhVenus,
JeremiahDet
ent
ionf
oran
hourandfi
ft
eenminutes.
..
Venus:
what
?Ihav
ear
ugbypr
act
ice.
.

Hi
svoi
cewasjustsodeepl
ysmooth.
..
nott
hat
muchdeepj
ustt
henormaldeep,
i
twasangeli
c..
Her
:tenmor
emi
nut
esi
fyoukeepst
andi
ng
t
here..

Theymumbl edsomet hi
ngast heywentt ot hei
r
si
ts,
thet eacherconti
nuedteachingbutIr eall
y
wasn'tpay i
ngmuchat tent
iontot heteacher,my
eyesmostwer eonVenus..somehowIj ustdon't
know..Ijustwantedtoknowmor eabouthi m
andnott hatIli
kedhim anywaybutj ustthathis
characterisactual
lydi
ffer
entfrom whatI
i
magi
nedorwhatIhadi
nmi
nd.
.

Af
terschoolLeahl
edmetothedet
ent
ion
cl
ass,
Barryhadtogosomewher
eimmediat
ely
af
terschool
..

Leah:don'
tworryi
fyoubehav
eyoumight
actuall
ygetr
eleasedbef
oret
hatt
ime.
.
Me:
OhGodwhydi
dIhav
etobel
ate?
Her
:don'
tworr
y,i
tsl
i
fe.
..Iwasi
nther
eon
Mondayfort
heuseofcell
phone.
.
Me:
ok.
.guessIwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
..
Her
:yeah.
.nowai
tIwi
l
lcal
lyoul
aterok?
Me:
ok.
.by
e..

Isaidget
ti
ngint
othedet
ent
ionclass.
.Itwas
actual
lyl
i
keanormalcl
ass.
..Ther
ewer en'
t
manypeople.
.Ther
ewereabout6andt hey
wer esi ttedi nt otalsilence. ..Ijustt ookasi tand
j
ustsatdown, tookmybooksoutandst art
ed
doingmySci ence'shomewor k..Whi chwasn' t
thathar di fyour eadcar ef ully.
..Bef ore5
minut escoul dpassVenusandhi sf r
iendgot
i
n,maki ngnoi sebuti mmedi atelykeptqui te
whent het eacherwhoIhadn' tnoticedshushed
them. .shehadherdeskatsomecor nerand
may bet hat swhyIdi dn' tseeher .
.Det enti
on
wasn' tt hatbadbecauseIact uall
ygott i
met o
fi
nishal lmyhomewor ksanddoabi tof
reading. ...Afterabout30mi nut edoft otal
sil
encet het eacherr eleasedus, Iguesswewer e
reall
ybehav ing, wewr ot eournamesi nsomel ist
shehadbef or egoi ng...AsIwaswal kingtomy
carIhear dsomeonescr eam behi ndmet hatI
i
nv olunt ar yturnedt olookandi twasVenusand
Jeremi ah. .Myhear tst ar tedbeat ingf astwere
theyt alkingt ome?Myl egsgott i
r edthatI
couldn' tpossi blytakeanot herst ep. .
.The
momentt heygott omehehandmemypen
Hi
m:andIbel
i
evet
hat
syour
s..
youdr
oppedi
tat
t
hedoor.
.

It
ooki
t..
..

Me:
ohh,
thanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:any
time

Thenhewal
kedaway.
..
wit
hhisfri
end.
.It
ooka
ver
ydeepbr
eath.
.Di
dhejustt
alktome?
Hi
mt al
ki
ngtomesuddenl
ybecamesomet
hing
bi
ginmybrai
n..
"What'
shappeningt oyouKr i
s?"Myi nnerself
screamed..Idi
dn'tl
ikehim,welli
tsthef actt
hat
i
thadf il
ledmyheadt hathesthehot testso
probablywhywoul dahotguyj usttalktome
especial
lyforapen?Whatam Iev ensay i
ng?I
t
ookanotherbr
eathtojustcal
m down..
.hewas
j
ustbei
ngnice.
.myinnersel
fassured
me..
not
hingmore.
.

Icontinuedwal kingtomycar ,goti nanddr ove

home. .butbeforeIcouldgooutt hrought he
gateIsawhi scarI '
mf r
ontofmi newel l
Iknewi t
washi sbecausei twasactuallywr it
tenhis
nameoni t.
.Iev enwonderhowr ichhisfamilyis
thattheyboughthi m aBMW i 8..Hedr ovetot he
opposi tedi
recti
onIwasgoi ng..ThemomentI
gothomeIj ustwant edtocallTshepi eandt ell
him allaboutit,
IfoundLizzyint heki t
chen..

Me:
hey
Her
:hey
,howwasschool
?
Me:
am adj
ust
ing.
.
Her
:good.
.soIwast
hinki
ngweeatoutt
oday
..
Me:
that
sni
ce.
.
Her
:am gl
ady
ouagr
ee.
..Sowhat
'
snew?
Me:wellam st
il
lfr
iendswi
thBen,
Bar
ryand
Leah.
.andwell.
.I
..
.
Her
:i
sther
eaboyal
ready
?
Me:
what
?no.
.

Isai
dasIchuckl
ed.
..

Her
:Iknowt
hatchuckl
e..
soi
tsaboyr
ight
?
Me:wel
lIj
ust
..
wel
lI.
.GodIdon'
tknowwhatt
o
ev
ensay..
Her
:doy
oul
i
kehi
m?
Me:
what
?ofcauseno.
.Idon'
tev
enabi
t.
.
Her
:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
100.
1%
Her
:ok.
.
Me:
plushehasaf
unnyname.
.
Her
:what
'shi
sname?
Me:
Venus.
.

Shel
aughed.
.

Her
:oki
fyousayso.
.
Me:
ohhonemor
ethi
ng..Ikindai
nvi
tedmy
f
ri
endsov
ert
omorr
ow..Isthatok?
Her
:yes.
..
ofcausei
t'
sok.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Her
:youdon'
thav
etoasknextt
ime.
.
Me:asl
ongasIdon'
townt
hishouseIhav
eto
ask.
.
Her
:wow.
.y
ourmot
herhasr
eal
l
ymoni
tor
edy
ou
wel
l.
.
Me:
yes.
.l
etmegof
reshenup.
.
Iwentupst ai
rstomyr oom andj ustt
hrew
my selfonthebed,Ididn'tl
ikehimr i
ght?I
don't.
.ordi
dI?Ir eal
l
yhat ecr ushi
ngonpeopleI
can'thaveitsucks..
.That swhyIr eal
lycan'
t
deal wit
hSill
ycrushesIhav eonpeople
becausewhat 'stheuseofcr ushi
ngon
someoney oucan' thav e?Otherthanhurti
ng
andbr eaki
ngy ourownhear t.
.
.
.
.
*
**ONEMONTHLATER*
**
.
.
Thi
ngshav ebeengoingsmoot hly,
wellmaybe
wit
hthef actt
hatIknowmostofmy
cl
assmates,Iknowmywayar oundtheschool
andstuf
f..Wellbasi
cal
lyIknowt heschooli
n
andout.
..WellmeBar r
y,LeahandBenar est
il
l
fri
ends...Butasusual wedon' thangoutwi th
BenonBr eak. .Theel ect i
onsdi dt akepl aceand
asIant i
cipat edJer emi ahwon. .
.Leahdi dn'tget
muchv otes..butwedi dt hepost ersandt he
publi
cspeechi dea..Shewasupsetf oraf ew
daysbutgotov eritev ent uall
y..
.Thef actt hat
wewer est il
lti
ghtasev err eall
ymademe
happy,Iwasst il
ltalkingt oTshepi et hrought he
phonet oget herwi thmom, Alexandt her estof
thepeopl eIknow. .Ev erythinghasbeengoi ng
smoot hly,IseeVenusi nt hesci encesl esson
andhist oryonl y.
.Thosear ethet wol essonswe
bothattendt ogether .
.Ihadgot tenov erthel it
tl
e
crushIhadonhi mf ast,Iwasj ustbel owhi s
standards. .ThesoonerasIl etthatregi sterin
mymi ndi twasmusheasi ertojustgetr i
dof
thecrush. .RightnowIwasbusycheer i
ngon
Leahwhowaspl ay i
ngt enni swhi l
eIsatwi t
h
BarryandBen. .
.

Ben:
i
tsFr
idayanypl
an?
Me:
nah.
.j
ustTVandme.
.
Ben:ther
e'sact
ual
lyamov i
ebei
ngrel
eased
today
,whydon'twejustgot
oget
her
..?
Me:
notabadi
dea.
..Bar
ry?
Her
:am game.
..Andam sur
eLeahwi
l
lbe.
.
Me:
wel
lthat
sgr
eatt
hen.
..
Ben:
andkookwhoseher
e?

Wel ookedt owherehi

seyeswere.
.i
twasAl i
ce
andhergr oupoffri
ends,
andohhonemor e
thi
ng..
me, LeahandBarrymovedanother
tabl
e..
Alice'
sAtti
tudewasonanotherlev
el.
.

Ber
ry:
Msknowi
tal
l
..
Ben:
Inev
err
eal
l
yli
kedher
..
Mr:
meneit
her.
.Shej
ustneedssomeat
ti
tudes
adj
ust
ment.
.
Ben:
wel
lspoken.
.

Aft
erawhil
ethegamehadcometoanend,
well
shewon.
.obvi
ousl
y.
.Shewasr
eal
l
ygoodnolie.
.
Webr i
efedheronourpl
anandshedi dn'
t
ref
use..Wedrovetot
hemov ies.
.Assoonaswe
gotthereLeahwentt
othi
sguywi thdreadl
ocks
butwithnohairandt
hesidesofhishari
r,
he
l
ookedsocut e
.
.wel
lev
enl
ycut
e..

Bar
ry:
andshe'
sgone.
Me:
l
et'
sgeti
n..

Wewal kedin,
boughtchi
psbutaswest ar
ted
walki
ngtowardsthedoorI.
.mi
stakenl
ybumped
i
ntoJeremiahbymi st
ake.
.
Me:
ohham r
eal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Hi
m:wat
chwer
eyouar
egoi
ngnextt
ime.
..

Aswest
il
lst
oodt
her
eVenusal
socame.
.

Hi
m:pr
obl
em?

Hrsai
dgivi
ngusall
apuzzledlook,
Ijust
fr
oze,
mywholebodyli
ter
all
yfroze,
Idon'teven
knowwhattosay
..
myhear twasbeatingfast.
..
Whattosay?
.
.
*
*tobecont
inued*
*

Wi
l
lcont
inuet
omol
..
ti
red
[
11/
26,
16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STI
N'SDI
ARY
#I
nser
t8
.
.
ALEX
.
.
Me:
won'
tshe.
..
am scar
ed.
.
Hi
m:2mi
nut
esok.
.
Me:
ohhTshepang!
okf
ine.
.

ThiswasTshepie,
whohadjustaskedmet o
sneakoutofthehouse,
Godknowshowscar edI
am andwhatmom woul ddoifshef i
ndsout..
Befor
eIcouldgetoutofmyr oom Ihearda
knockonmywi ndow,Iwasaboutt oscream
mom whenTshepiewhisperedsoftl
y..
Hi
m:i
tsme.
.

Iwal
kedovert
othewindowquickl
y,openedi
t
andyeshewasstandi
ngther
e..

Me:
thef
uck?
Hi
m:cany
ouopent
hedoorf
orme?
am f
reezi
ng.
.
Me:
hol
yfuck!
!Mom i
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lme.
.

Isaidwalkingoutofmyr oom andt i

ptoeingto
thedoor..Andmi ndy ouitwasar ound10p.m. .
Am nowsur et
hisguyhasadeat hwish..
.I
unlockedthedoorf orhim,hegoti nandi si
lently
l
ockedt hedoorandwentbackt omyr oom. .
Themomentwegott omyr oom andlockedt he
doorItookadeepsi ghofr eli
efandnowwhat '
s
l
eftissneakinghim outagai n..
Hi
m:ni
cer
oom.
.
Me:
doy
our
eal
i
sei
tsl
ate?
Hi
m:y
ep.
.

Hesaidtaki
ngoffhi
sshoesandgetti
ngunder
cover
s..Thi
sguywill
bet heendofme!It
hen
snuckinbesi
deshim andheheldmeti
ghtl
y.
..

Hi
m:y
ouar
esowar
m.
Me:
becauseIwasi
nbl
anket
sbef
orey
oucame.
.
Him:
wel
lok.
.Imi
ssedyouandIcoul
dn'
twai
t
anymor
etoseeyou.
.
Me:
can'
tbel
i
eveit
salr
eadybeenamont
handa
f
ewweekseversi
nceus.
.
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
..
but
..
-
Hi
m:butwhat
?
Me:
Kri
s..
shewon'
tbehappyaboutt
his.
.
Hi
m:Iknow,butwewi
l
lcr
osst
hebr
idgewhen
wegetther
e..
Me:
andy ourf
riends..Theydon'tLi
ke
me.
..
especial
l
yDy lan..
hesaidam an
embar
rassmentt omysi ster
..
Him:youknowKri
slovesyounomat terwhat.
.
Evenwheny oumessupshest i
ll
lovesyouand
deepdownam hopingsheunderstands.
.Don'
t
worrytomuchaboutmyFr i
ends.
.Iloveyouand
youlovemeandasf arasIknowthatsallt
hat
matters.
.
Me:Idon'
treal
l
ycarewhattheysayam scar
ed
ofwhattheycant
ellKr
is.
.
Hi
m:t
heywon'
t.
..
don'
twor
ry
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:nowt
ell
mewhyy
ouski
ppedschool
today
?
Me:
Iwassi
ck.
.Ihav
efl
u..

Hechuckl
ed.
.

Hi
m:f
lukebol
wet
se?
(isf
luani
l
lness?
)
Me:
oneosai
tse?
(youdi
dn'
tknow?
)

Hel
aughed.
.

Hi
m:y
ouj
ustwant
edt
obunk.
..
admi
tit
..
Me:
no.
.Iwasr
eal
l
ysi
ck.
.
Hi
m:Li
er!
Me:
am t
ell
i
ngy
ou.
.

Hest ar
tedti
ckl
ingme,
thatIst
art
edlaughi
ng.
.I
real
lytr
iedtokeepi
tdown..Af
terawhil
ehe
stooped..
Me:
mom!
!
Hi
m:t
ell
thetr
uthoram goi
ngtodosomet
hing
ev
enworse.
.y
oubunkedschoolr
ight
?
Me:
Iwasn'
tfeel
i
ngwel
l
..Fl
u..

Isaidlaughingsl
owl ybutgotstoppedbyhi s
l
ipsonmi ne,
hekissedmesodeepand
passionately,
thi
swasn'tjustoneoft hose
ki
ssesbuti twasacommuni cat
ingkiss.
.He
placedhishandsonmywai stashelay
perfectl
yont opofmewhi leIpulledhishead
deeper..
.

Everyti
meI 'm wi t
hTshepangIal way sfeelfr
ee
andjustfeel atease..
Iforgetmypr oblems
i
nstantl
yev erytimeam wi t
hhim andIdopr ay
Kri
sunder standsthis.
..i
fshetrul
ylov esmel i
ke
shesaysshedoesshewi ll
acceptit.
.shehasto
r
ight
?Becausesuddenl
yitoccurr
edtomet
hatI
l
oveTshepangmorethanIthought.
.
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Istoodtherelikeafrozenchicken,Ididn'tknow
whatt osayorwhatt oevendo. .
myi nnersel f
keptonscr eamingjustchil
lbutitwasj usthard.
Idon'tknowwhyIwasev enfeeli
ngl i
ket his,
it
hasnev erhappened..YesIdidlikeaf ewguy s
butInev erfel
tli
kethiswhenIwasar ound
them..Jeremiahfinall
yspokebr eakingt he
sil
ence..

Jer
emiah:nonshej
ustt
ohappent
obumpi
nto
memistakenl
y.
.
Venus:
ok,
l
et'
srol
l
...

Theythenwalkedaway,Icouldfi
nal
lybr
eat
h..
.
AsIstoodtheretr
yingtorecoverwhatj
ust
happenedBencame. .

Ben:
heyar
eyouok?
Me:
no.
.y
es.
.am good.
.l
et'
sgo.
.

Wewalkedi
nsi
de,
wewer
esi
tt
ingi
nthemi
d
si
ts.
.
Themov i
ewasn' treal
l
yt hekindofmov ieIlike
watching..Itwasahor r
ormov i
e,
Istopped
watchingt hoseki ndofmov ieswhenIst art
ed
havingnight mares..Si
tti
nginsidetherewas
real
lyhardbecauseIwoul doccasionall
yclose
myey esinal l
theScarypar t
s..Ifi
nall
ydecided
tojustgooutf orsomewhi l
etojustbreath.
.I
walkedoutt el
li
ngt hem am goingtothet oi
let.
.I
didn'tknowwer ethet oiletswer esoIj ust
stroll
edar oundunt il Ifoundt hem. .Igoti nand
j
ustwentov erthebasi n,openedt het apand
washedmyf ace..Openi ngmyey esIf ound
someguyst arringatmet hrought hemi rr
or.
.I
panickedsohar dt hatIev enscr eamed. .
.my
hear tstart
edbeat ingf ast..
.Islowlyt urnedto
l
ookathi m andhej ustst oodther enotsay i
nga
wor dwi that otalbl ankexpr ession..
Icoul dn'
t
evenf igureoutany thingandmymi ndwas
racinghar d..
ishear api st?Istartedt akingsmall
stepsgoi ngbackt ot hedoorbutf acinghi m..
.I
can'tstarttoexpl ai nhowIf el
tt hatmoment ,I
hav ereadaboutr apei nbooksandmagazi nes
butexper iencingi twasnotsomet hingI
want ed...
AsIwasst i
ll
takingbabyst epsbackIbumped
i
ntosomeonef rom behindt hatscreamed
hardert
hanthef i
rstt
imet hatIcoul dev enf
eel
thatmyasthmawasst art
ingt oalsot akepart
..
I
turnedt
olookatwhoIhadbumpedi ntoandit
wasVenus. .
.Myhear twasst
il
lbeat
ingfast
,so
fastt
hantheusual andmybreathi
ngwas
abnormal
..Itfel
tli
keIwasabouttohavea
asthmaattack..
.

Venus:
hey
..
arey
ouok?

Hesaidwalkingupt ome,mybodywasev en
shaki
ng..
.Tearsjuststart
edr ol
l
ingontheir
own..
that
showmuchIwasscar edbutInow
fel
tsafewit
hhim her e.
.Ilookedbackattheguy
whowasher ewithmeandhewasn' tt
here
anymore.
.

Me:
he.
..
I.
..
Venus:
hey
..
.cal
m down.
.

Af
tersomef
ewsecondsofhi
mtr
yingt
ocal
m
medownbutf ai
l
inghepickedmeupandwent
wi
thmeoutside.
.Thewayhescoopedmei nhis
ar
mswaslikeIwasn'tevenheavy.
..Hemade
mesi
tonthechairoutsi
de,thecol
dbreezethat
hi
tmyski
nImustsayhel pedcalm medown. .

Hi
m:y
ouhav
east
hma?

Inoddednotf
ull
ytr
ust
ingmyownv
oice.
.

Him:mysist
eral
sohasi
t.
..
oknowt
ell
mewhat
happened.
.
Me:
I.
..
I.
.
Hi
m: j
ustbreat
handt
ell
mewhathappened.
.
Nothi
ngisgoingt
ohappent
oyounowI
pr
omi se.
.
Me:
am.
..
am scar
ed.
.
Thisexperiencemademymi ndgobackt owhat
Bandil
edi dtome. .Ij ustfelttearsgushout ..al
l
alongIhav ebeenpr etendingt hatIgotov er
whatBanf i
leputmet hroughbutseemsl ikeI
hadmy selffooled. .If ai
ltounder st
andwhy
suddenlythisthingsar ehappeni ngt ome. .
hereI
am tryi
ngt obeanor mal ki
dbutt hensomet hing
l
ikethishappens. ..Idi dn'treali
zeIwasnow
cryi
nginhi sarms. ..hewasj ustr ubbingmyback
softl
yasIj ustcried. .Imustseem l ikeacr y
babyIthoughtt omy selfbef orepul l
ingoutof
theembr ace..

Icl
umsi
l
ywi
pedawaymyt
ear
s..
.

Me:
am sor
ry.
.I
..
.-
Hi
m:hey
..
it
sok.
.
Me:
Ishoul
dgo.
..
myf
ri
ends.
.
AsIwassti
l
lther
eBen,
Bar
ryandLeahcame
rushi
ngt
owardsme.
..
.

Leah:
Kri
s..
wewer
ewor
ri
ed.
.
Ben:
arey
ouok?

Hesai
dpul
l
ingmet
ohi
m..

Bar
ry:
youwer
ecr
ying?Whathappened?
Me:
I.
-
Venus:
hey
!wi
l
lyoubef
ine?
Me:
yest
hanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:any
time.
.

Hesaidbefor
ewal
ki
ngaway
..
theyal
lgav
emea
puzz
ledlook.
.
Me:
sor
ryIgoty
ouwor
ri
ed.
.Justgotabi
tlost
..
Ben:
andy
ourey
es?
Me:
ummh.
.t
hey
..
theyar
eit
chy
..
Ben:
ok..
may bel
et'
sgo.
.Bar
rysay
sthemov
iei
s
tooscar
y..
Bar
ry:
becausei
tisscar
y..Let
'
sgof
ori
ce
cr
eams..

Tobehonestal
lIwantedthatmomentwasto
j
ustgoinmyroom andcrybutthenIdi
dn'
twant
todi
sappoi
ntmyfri
ends..

Me:
greati
dea.
.
Leah:
okl
et'
sgo.
.

Wegotinoursepar
atecaranddrovetosome
r
est
aurant
..Wegotthereaf
terawhile.
.Bought
i
cecreamsandjustsatontopofBen'scarj
ust
tal
king..Talkingaboutsomet hi
ngdifferent
helpedt akeof fmymi ndoverwhathappened
today..
...Aft
eri cecreamswewentt osome
studiower eBar ryplayedthePianoandweal l
sangwi thher ..Itwasf unt
hatIevenf orgot
aboutmypr obl ems..Igothomear ound
2140hrsandwhenIgothomemydadhad
start
edget tingwor kedupl i
keIdidn'ttell
himI
wentoutwi thmyf r
iendsbutIhadt exthim
thri
ce..

Dad:
Hol
yChr
istIwasst
art
ingt
ogetwor
ri
ed.
.
Me:
am sor
ryi
fam l
ate.
.
Hi
m:noi
t'
soksweety.
.someti
mesIj
ustget
wor
ri
edabouty
oursafety
..
.Sowasi
tfun?
Me:
yeah.
..

Idi
dn'
twantt
otel
lhim aboutthatguybecauseI
knowmydadwill
real
lygetpissedthathemay
evenstartsgett
ingmeadr i
verandthat'
s
somethingIdidn'twant
..
orhemightstop
makingmegot ot hemovi
esoranyother
pl
acesal one.
..

Him:
ok,
am goi
ngt
obed,
seey
out
omor
row
pumpki
n..

Hesai dgoi ngupst airs..Ifol

l
owedhi m but
goingt omyr oom..themomentmyheadhi tthe
pill
owandIcl osedmyey esIfel
li
ntodeep
sleep..Thenextmor ningIwokeupabi tlate..
Waki ngupIwentt ot akeashower ,ahotl ong
shower .
.AfterthatIjustwor emyhi ghwai st
shortsandawool cr opt opandsomemor ning
sli
pper s..Ir
eal l
ydon'tcar ewhatIwear
especi al
lyonweekends. .Gett
ingdownstai rsI
foundLi zzyal oneeat ing..
Me:
mor
ning
Her
:hey
..
howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
ok.
.y
ou?
Her:
l
ikeababy.
.Wow!
suchasexybody
..
whydo
youalway
shideit
?

Il
aughed.
.

Me:
me?
sexy
?pl
ease.
.
Her
:am t
ell
i
ngy
ouKr
is.
..You-

Shedidn'
tfi
nishhersent
ence,shewas
di
stur
bedbyaknockont hedoor..
Lizzystood
upandwentf ort
hedoorleavi
ngmehel ping
myselfwi
thfood..
.Iwasreal
lystarving.
.Aftera
whil
eshecameback. .
Me:
whowasi
t?

Iaskedwi
thf
oodi
nmymout
h?

Her:
someguysay
she'sy
ourf
ri
end.
.He'
ssay
s
he'
sheret
oseeyou.
.
Me:
Ben?
Her
:Venus.
.

Ichockedonmyf oodhear
inghi s
name..Venus?
whatdoeshewant ?Ihadalotof
questi
onsrunninginmymi nd..Igupl
edt
he
j
uicethatIhadpour edf
ormy self
..

Me:
what
?

Shenoddedwi
thexci
tementonherf
ace.
.
Her
:i
stheeVenus?
Me:
yesandIdon'
tknowwhathewant
s..
Her
:t
her
e'sonl
yonewayt
ofi
ndout
..

Shecamet omeandpul ledmet odoor,Iguess

sheknewi fshedidn'tdot hatIwouldhav eran
tomyr oom andpr etendedam nott her
e..The
momentwegott ot hedoorIt ookav er
ydeep
breat
ht ojustcal
m myner vesabitthenfinall
yI
openedt hedoorandhewast her
e..Goddeep
downIwashoppi ngi t
snothi m..

Hi
m:hey
..
Me:
hi.
.
Hi
m:Icamet
oseei
fyouar
eok.
.
Me:
ohh.
.am ok.
.l
ikeo.
.k!
Hi
m:am gl
ad,
Iwaswor
ri
edy
est
erday
..
Me:
Thanky
ouv
erymuchf
ory
est
erday
..
.
Hi
m: am gladIwasabletohelp.
..
butIdon'
tthi
nk
i
tsreall
ysaf ef
oryoutowalkinsuchareas
al
one..whoknowswhatcoul dhavehappenifI
wasn'tthereori
fIdi
dn'tcomewhenIdi d.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:am goingtomakei
tmybusi
nesst
haty
ou
ar
esaf
eal ways.
.
Me:
no,
idon'
twantt
obeabur
denam sur
eBen
wi
ll
sor
titout
..
Him:
Iknow..
butst
il
l.
.am goi
ngtomakeitmy
numberonepri
ori
tyt
haty ouar
esaf
e..
Me:
Thanky
ou.
..
Hi
m:byt
hewayam VenusKr
ist
in

I
fheknewIknewhisnamealr
eadyhewoul
dn'
t
betel
l
ingme.
.butwai
t.
.howdi
dheknowmy
name..
.
Me:
howdi
dyou.
.-
Him:di
dmyr esear
chpl
usyourfr
iends
happenedtohavement
ionedyourname
yest
erday.
.
Me:
ohhh.
.
Hi
m:y
eahohh.
.ummhIwi
l
lseey
ouar
oundKr
is.
.
Me:
yeah.
.

Hrthenwalkedtohi
scar,
wav edatmebef
ore
dri
vingout.
.t
hemomenthewasgoneIgotback
i
nsidethehousewhereIfoundLizzy
anti
cipat
ingwit
hcur
iosi
ty.
.

Her
:and?
Me:
hewant
stoal
way
spr
otectme.
..
Her
:pr
otecty
ouf
rom what
?
Well
Ifel
tli
keitwi
l
lbebett
erifIt
ell
her
..
soI
t
oldheral
labouty
est
erdayandshewasangr
y..

Her:
howcansomeonewanttot
akeadvant
age
ofayounggi
rll
i
keyou?Hehasnoshame!
Me:
Igotov
eri
t
Her
:Ir
eal
l
ythi
nki
tsbesti
fyouseeat
her
api
st.
.
Me:
Idon'
tneednoshr
ink.
.am f
ine.
.
Her
:youdon'
twanty
ourdadt
ofi
ndoutr
ight
?

Inoddedy
es.
.

Her:
theny
ouwi
l
lgof
ort
her
apy
..
.t
akei
torl
eav
e
i
t.
.
Me:
okf
ine.
..
doy
ouhav
etobel
i
ket
his?
Her
:yes.
.any
way
ssoVenuswast
her
etopl
ay
t
heher
o..
Ishoul
dthankhi
m..
Me:am ev
enwonder
inghowhe'
sgoi
ngt
o
pr
otectmeashesays.
.
Her
:wewi
l
ljusthav
etowai
tandsee.
.
Thewhol eweekendwasok,nothi
ngi
nter
est
ing
happened.
.ItwasinMondayandIwas
prepar
ingtogoforschool
whileonaWhatsApp
callwi
thAlex.
.

Her
:Imi
ssy
ouKr
is
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oochubbychi
cks.
.
Her
:ar
eyouhappy
?
Me:
yeah.
..
arey
ou?
Her
:yeah.
..
Iwannaasky
ousomet
hing.
.
Me:
goahead.
.

Icoul
dsenseshewashesi
tat
ingi
ndi
cat
ingt
hat
shewasner
vous.
.It
ssounli
kelyforAl
extoget
ner
vouswel
lunl
essit'
ssomethi
ngseri
ous..

Me:
tal
ktome.
.what
'
swr
ong?
Her:
ok..
let'
s.
.wellIhaveafri
endyouknow.
.she
dat
inghersistersfri
endsonowshesscaredof
whatthesisterwouldreacti
fshefi
ndsout.
.
Shewant sadvice.
.
Me:ohh. .well
it'
skindof. .
itsabi toff
ishthat.
.
We'lllet'
ssayTshepi easanexampl e..I
f
Tshepi edatesy ouits..
.he'sbreakingour
fr
iendshi pcode..He'snotsupposedt ogoafter
you..butIguessi fhemakesy ouhappyt henI
won'tst andiny ourhappinessbuti tssomehow
j
ustnotnor mal orri
ght.
.justtel
l yourfri
endto
comef rontwithhersister.
.may beshecan
explaint hi
ngsbet t
ertohersi ster.
.
Her
:shesscar
ed.
.
Me:
wel
lsomet
imest
her
e'sapoi
nti
nli
fewher
e
yougetscaredbutt
hetrut
halwayshasaway
tocomeout..soi
tsbet
tershetel
l
sherthanher
heari
ngitf
rom someoneelse.
.
Her
:ok.
.t
hanksy
out
hebest
..
Me:
Iknow.
.

Wel
aughed.
..

Her
:okby
e..
Me:
greetmom f
orme.
.
Her
:ok.
.

Afterawhil
eIwasdrivi
ngintotheschool
premises.
.Ipar
kedandwal kedtocl
asswher
eI
foundLeahandBarryal
readyin..
.

Me:
mor
ning
Leah:
hey
Bar
ry:
hi.
.

Isatdownandst art
edtakingmybooksout
whenI tsuddenlywasqui t
eint hecl
ass,even
withtheteacheritsnotl
ikethat .
.If
elteyeson
meandIl ookedup,asIrai
sedmyey esthey
camei ntocontactwithVenus's..
.Hewasr i
ght
i
nf rontofme. .
looki
nghandsome

Hi
m:mor
ning.
.
Me:
hi.
..
hi
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
am ok.
..
am f
ine.
.
Hi
m:good,
canIhav
eyourt
imet
abl
eforaf
ew.
.
Me:
ohw.
..
Hi
m:Iwantt
oalwaysknowwhereyou
ar
e,r
ememberam t
ryi
ngtokeepyousaf
e..
Me:
andIr
eal
l
yappr
eci
atei
tbutdon'
tyouhav
e..
-
Hi
m: Idohavet
hingst
odobutIj
ustchoset
o
pr
otectyou.
.

Inodded,t
hewholecl
asswasl
ookingatust
he
wholeti
me..It
ookoutmyti
metabl
eandhandit
overtohi
m..

Hi
m:Iwi
l
lgi
vei
ttoy
ouonbr
eakaf
terIst
udyi
t.
.

Hesaidwalki
ngoutandIr eali
zedJeremiah
waswaiti
ngforhim bythedoor,t
heyboth
wal
kedoutbutpeopl esti
l
lkeptthei
rStarr
i
ncl
udingBarryandLeah..Itookmybookand
j
ustst
arredatitunt
ilever
yonelooked
away,
everyoneexpertLeahandBar r
y..
Leah:
okspi
titout
..
Me:
spi
twhat
?
Bar
ry:
whati
sgoi
ngon?
Me:wellhejust.
..i
tssti
ll
compl i
cat ed..
.Iwi
l
ltel
l
youonceev ery
thingisclearbutyest er
daywhen
Igotl
osthehappenedt ohav ehelpedmeand
nowhesai dhewant st
omakei thisnumber
onepri
orit
yt oprotectme..
Bar
ry:
wow!
!
Leah:
Isowi
sht
obey
our
ightnow.
.
Me:
l
ol.
..
youguy
sthough.
..
Leah:
what
?lol
wej
ustt
hinki
ngoutl
oud.
..
Me:
Isee.
.

Aft
erawhi lewewereinlessons.
.Mymi nd
wasn'texactl
yint
helessonsbutinsteadIwas
j
ustthinki
ngonhowVenuswasgoi ngto
pt
otectme. .
.hewasallovermymi nd..
.No
doubtIwasev
engoi
ngt
ost
artt
odr
eam hi
m..
.
.
.
.
*
**ToBeCont
inued*
**
.
.
GuysIreal
lywanttot
hankyouf
oryoursupport
,
yoursupportr
eal
lymakesmehappy.
..
lov
ey '
al
l.
..
#Admi
n..
.
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t9
.
KRI
S
.
.
Themor ninglessonshadpassed, andatsome
pointIhadputVenusatt hebackofmymi nd
andact uallyfocusedont helessons..Av oi
di ng
thi
nkingabouthi m wassomet hi ngIwishedt o
doal lt
het imebecauseev er
ytimeIt hinkabout
him Ialway sgetgoosebumps, seeinghimf ace
tofacei sev enwor se.
.Iwassi tti
ngwi t
hBar r y
andLeahatourusual t
ableeating..
.Well t
hey
wer ewhi l
emeont heotherhandwasscanni ng
throught hepeopl etryi
ngtolookf orhim...
he
hadsai dhewi l
lcomedur ingbreakandher eI
wasal readyget t
ingf r
ustr
ated..Apar tofme
thoughhopedhedoesn' tcomebecauseIknow
i
nhi spr esenceam notal waysmy sel
fandIf eel
unease. .

Leah:
ear
tht
oKr
is!

Ishi
ft
edmyattent
iont
othem,IguessIhad
beenlostt
oomuchonmyt houghtst
hatI
wasn'
tev
enpay
ingat
tent
iont
othem.
.

Leah:
what
'sup?
youhavebeenj
ustsi
tt
ingt
her
e
soquit
eandyounoteat
ing.
.
Me:
am notexact
lyhungr
y..
Bar
ry:
ori
sitVenus?
Me:
what
?no.
..
ofcauseNo.
.whywoul
dyousay
t
hat
?
Leah:
maybeyourmi
ndi
sjustoccupi
edbyhi
m
whoknows..
Me:noyouguy
s..
.butany
waywhatar
ewe
di
scussi
ng?
Bar
ry:
Prom i
n2mont
hs.
..
Me:
2mont
hs?
?
Leah:
yeah.
..
Ithi
nkmaybeweshoul
dgi
vet
he
desi
gnershopsalookf
ir
st.
.
Bar
ry:
Ifeel
soal
so.
.Pl
usthi
sshoul
dbeanight
tor
ememberforme.
..
Iwannaremembert
he
day
..
Me:
ok.
..
Leah:
soIbel
i
evey
ouar
ecomi
ngr
ight
?
Me:ummh.
.Idon'
tthi
nkIcandot
hat
..
.Iwon'
tbe
i
n..
Bar
ry:
why
?
Me:
Ij
ust
..Idon'
t.
..
.-
Leah:l
ookyoucomi
ng.
.Andam nott
aki
ngno
forananswer
..
Barr
y:Iagreewit
hyouLeah.
.don'
twor r
yyour
sel
f
toomuchi fyoudon'
thaveadate.
.LeahandI
wil
lsortyouout.
.
Me:
guy
s..
.andal
soIdon'
tknowhowt
odance.
..
Leah:
wewi
l
lteachy
ou.
..
andl
ookwhoseher
e..

Ifoll
owedherey esandther
ehewas,
Venus
walkingtowardsus..
.It
ookaver
ydeepbreat
h
tojustcalm mysel
fdownandbenormalagai
n
becauseforaminutether
emyheartst
opped
beati
ng.
..Thenhegottoourtabl
eheputmy
ti
metableonthetabl
elooki
ngatme..

Hi
m:am nost
alker
..Oranddangert
oyouok.
.

Inodded.
.

Him:Ij
ustcan'thelpitbutfeeltheneedt oj
ust
keepyousaf e.
.t
herear emanypeopl eoutthere
whowi shforthatandmay beyoumi ghtnotsee
theneedoft hi
sbutt hereareal otofthings
happeningoutthere..SoIjustfeel t
hatIneedto
alwaysdeclareyoursafety.
.Whathappenedon
Fri
daycouldhav ebeenwor se.
..
y ounever
know..
soam goi ngtost ar
tkeepi nganey eon
youstarti
ngfrom today..
.
Me:
ok.
.
Inoti
cedhowquiteever
yonewasinthe
cafet
eri
a,It
ookaquickglanceandasI
suspect
edtheyhadtheyeyesonme...

Hi
m:don'
tmi
ndt
hepeopl
e..
.Theyar
eli
ket
hat
..
Me:
i
tsr
eal
l
yuncomf
ort
abl
e..

Iwhi
sper
edkeepi
ngmyheaddown.
.

Him:don'
tmi ndthem..
.i
ftheyareliket
hisyou
givethem t
heshowt heyarelookingfor
,gi
ve
them areasonforstar
ri
ng..Standuplet'
sgo..
Me:
gowher
e?
Hi
m:t
oyournextl
essonLi
ter
atur
erev
iew.
..
Me:
buty
oudon'
tdol
i
ter
atur
e..
Him:
Ido.
..
Ionl
yatt
endinadif
fer
entcl
assbut
nowIhav
esortedi
t.
.l
et'
sgo
Het ookmyhandandhel pedmest andup,
Itook
mybagandwav edBar ryandLeahaswe
walkedoutwithhim sti
llholdingmyhand. .
..
As
soonaswewer eoutoft heyey esIcouldfi
nally
breath.
.i
fsomeonei sstarr
ingy outoomuchI
sweary oucanevenf al
lbutnowwhatabouta
l
argegr oupofpeople?Hest illheldmyhandas
wewal kedtotheli
terat
urecl ass..

Hi
m:whatar
eyoudoi
ngaf
terschool
?
Me:
am goi
nghome.
.
Hi
m:ok.
..

Assoonaswegotincl
assheledmet omy
si
t,
hesatonmydeskasIsatonthechai
r.
.

Me:
i
sJer
emi
ahal
socomi
ng?
Hi
m:nah.
.why
?
Me:
youguy
sar
eal
way
stoget
her
..
.Al
way
s
Him:t
hat
sbecausewear
efr
iendsbutnohe'
s
notcomi
ng.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyoushyorsomet
hing?
Me:
what
?Why
?
Hi
m:youneverl
ookint
omyey eswhenwe
t
alk,
youal
wayskeepyourheaddown.
.
Me:
ohh.
..
Ijusthat
eey
econt
actt
hat
sal
l
..
Hi
m:Iseebutwhy
?
Me:
i
tscar
esme?
Hi
m:howaboutwet
ryi
tandl
et'
ssee.
.
Me:
huh?

Het
il
tedmyheadandhelookedint
omyeyes,
f
oraminut
ether
eItr
iedt
ojustlookint
ohi
s
darkbl
uet obl
ackeyesbutthenIguessIgot
tooshythatImovedmyey es.
.
Hi
m:t
her
e'sal
way
sanextt
imef
orev
ery
thi
ng.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Him:wait
..
.y
ounewint
hisschool
right
?Ihav
e
neverseenyouany
wher
e..
Me:
yesam new.
.
Hi
m:nowonder
..
Me:
nowonderwhat
?
Hi
m:ar
eyoual
way
sli
steni
ngt
oev
ery
thi
ngIsay
?
Me:
i
fyousayi
tloud,
yes.

Hechuckl
ed.
..

Hi
m:any
wayhowol
dar
eyou?
youl
ook10
Me:
am 17,
butwi
l
lbe18i
naf
ewweeks.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
esoshor
tandont
opoft
hatat
iny
v
oice.
..
Me:
don'
twor
ry,
myhei
ghtbet
ray
smyage.
.
Him:
Icansee.
.butdon'
twor
ry.
.i
t'
sokt
obe
shor
tsometi
mes..
Me:
Iguess
Hi
m:ar
eyouwear
ingcont
act
s..

Idi
dn'tevenr eal
izet
hatal
lofasuddenIwas
speakinglookingathi
m evenfor
gotaboutmy
abnormal eyecolour
..
Iqui
ckl
ylookeddown..

Hi
m:hey
..
lookatme.
.

Hesai
dti
l
tingmyhead.
..
.

Hi
m:Ihav
enev
erseensomet
hingl
i
ket
hat
..
Me:
IknowIl
ookwei
rdand.
.-
Hi
m:weir
d?Whot ol
dyout
hat
?yourey
esar
e
r
eal
lybeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
ohw
Hi
m:y
eah.
.r
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:i
tsok.
.sowher
ewer
eyouschool
i
ng?
Me:
Afr
ica.
.
Hi
m:Icoul
dsensey
ouar
enotf
rom ar
ound.
.
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:thewayyoutalkandhandl
eyoursel
f,and
mostofal
lyourbeaut
..
thi
skindi
fbeautyi
snot
j
ustf
oundaround..

Ibl
ushedt
houghIr
eal
l
ytr
iednott
oshowi
t.
.

Hi
m:sowhower
eyoust
ayi
ngwi
thi
nAf
ri
ca?
Me:
mymom andsi
ster
..
Hi
m:Ibety
oursi
steri
sasbeaut
if
ulasy
ou.
..
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
.Itr
unsi
nthef
ami
l
y..
Hi
m:Iseeso.
.-

"That
salotoft
alki
ngr i
ghtKri
sandyourfri
end,
butam sur
eyouwillf
ini
shitoffi
nDetent
ion"

Wel ookedatwher ethatcamef rom andi twas

theteacher .
.Ididn'
treali
zewewher eleaning
muchcl osertoeachot heruntilheact ual
ly
backedawayandsati nf r
ontofme. .
.IguessI
wast ooconsumedi nourconv ersati
ont hatI
didn'tev ennoti
ceLeahandBar rywal kin..
.The
l
essoncont inuedwit
hhi mi nthecl ass.Leah
keptst eali
ngglancesatmeandam sur eshe
hadmanyquest i
onsf orme...Aftersomet i
me
thelessonscamet oanend, assoonast he
sirenr angLeahwasal r
eadyonmydesk
Her
:cal
lmet
oni
ght
!
"Doaconf
erencecal
l
"sai
dBar
rycomi
ngf
rom
behi
ndme..
Leah:
yeah.
.
Me:
tomor
row.
.

BythenVenushadal
readyst
oodupandwas
l
ookingatme..

Hi
m:l
etsgoory
oust
il
lcaughtup?
Me:
ummh.
.
Leah:
noshesnot
..
bye
Bar
ry:
yeahby
e..

Theysai
dwalki
ngout,
Ithenstoodupand
packedmybooks.Wewal kedtot
heDetent
ion
cl
asswhil
etal
ki
ng..
Hi
m:soi
fyouwer
est
ayi
ngwi
thy
ourmom why
di
dyoul
eave?
Me:
i
tscompl
i
cat
edandi
tsal
ongst
ory
..
Hi
m:Ibel
i
evewehav
eal
lthet
imei
nthewor
ld.
.
Me:
umhh.
.wel
lIwaski
dnapped.
.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
yeahsomydadt houghtIwi
l
lbemuchsaf
e
wi
thhimthanbackathome..
Hi
m:y
oumeany
ouwer
eabduct
ed?
Me:
yes.
..
Hi
m:andwhatdi
dtheywant
?
Me:
theynev
ersai
d..
Hi
m:di
dtheyhur
tyou?
Me:
yeah.
.el
ect
ri
cshock.
.
Him:Ican'
tbel
i
evethi
s..
Ipr
omisenothi
ngwi
l
l
happentoyouaslongasam her
e..
Me:
am gr
atef
ul
Hi
m:any
waydon'
tyoumi
ssy
ourf
ami
l
yand
f
ri
endsmay
be?
Me:
Ido.
..
butt
henagai
nit
sli
fe
Hi
m:y
eah.
.

Bythenwewer
eal
readysi
tt
ingi
nsi
det
hecl
ass
room..

Hi
m:Ithi
nkIhav
ebeendoingal
otofaski
ng
l
atel
ybutnowit
syourt
urn..

Me:
ohh.
..
Ireal
l
ydon'
tmi
ndy
ouaski
ng.
.
Him:nah.
.askany
thi
ng.
.Ai
n'
tyoucur
iousabout
anyt
hing?
Me:
wel
lwhatam cur
iousabouti
sof
fensi
ve.
.

Hel
aughedsof
tl
y.
.
Hi
m:j
ustaskany
thi
ngof
fensi
veornot
..
Me:ok.
.umhhdon'tyouhav
eanyot
hername
apartf
rom Venus?
Hi
m:Idoact
ual
lybuti
tsmor
eembar
rassi
ng
t
hanthi
sone.
.
Me:
i
sit
?
Hi
m:yeah,
butIwon'
ttel
lyou.
..
myf
ami
l
yreal
l
y
gi
vesweir
dnames..
Me:
Ithi
nkIagr
eewi
tht
hat
..
.
Hi
m:any
thi
ngel
se?
Me:
whyar
eyousoni
ce?
Him:justbecauseam r
ichi
tdoesn'
tmeanI
shoul
dber ude,Iknowmaybethatwasy
our
theor
yofme. .
Ireal
lydon'
tcar
eaboutthemoney.
.money
that'
snotevenminesowhybragandactl
ike
am GodwhenIdon'tevenhavemyownmoney
tolastmeamont h.
..
Me:soyoudon'
treal
lyl
iket
hewayt
hings
happenint
hisschool
?
Hi
m: yeahbutthenthestudentsaresocaught
upthattheydon'tevenreali
zestupi
dit
ywhen
i
t'
srightinfr
ontoftheireyes..
Me:
may
bey
oucanchangei
t.
.
Him:Idon'tthi
nkther
e'sany
onewhocan
changetheirmindset
s
Me:
Icanr
elat
e..
Hi
m:am gl
ad.
.any
thi
ngel
sey
ouwantt
oknow?
Me:
no,
Ithi
nkam oknow.
..
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:y
eah.
.won'
tyoubelat
eforyourr
ugby
pr
acti
cet
hough?Imeanain'
ti
thappeni
ngnow?
Hi
m:Iknow,
butt
hent
her
e'saf
terschool
.
.
Me:
ohh.
.
Hi
m:t
hingsar
egoi
ngt
ochanget
omor
row.
.
Me:
thi
ngs?
Hi
m:y
ouwi
l
lseebuty
eaht
hings.
.

Isl
owlynodded..Theteacherthencamei nthen
weresort
edt oournormal seats.
.Det
ent
ion
l
astedabitlongert
hant heothertimebutthen
att
heendi twasov er
..Hewal kedwithmet o
mycar..
.

Me:
okIwi
l
lseey
ou.
.t
omor
row
Hi
m:whyar
eyousoeageraboutgoi
nghome?
Me:
huh?

Hechuckl
edshaki
nghi
shead.
.

Hi
m:Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
.
Me:
yeah.
.seey
ou
Igotinmycaranddr oveawayhome. .
ThewayI
wassof r
eewhenIwast al
kingtohim wasj ust
thesamewayIf eelf
reewhenIt al
ktoTshepie..
It
sfeelsl
ikeIhaveknownhimf oralongti
me
butit
sonlyafewday s.
.GettinghomeIf ound
dadhome. .
hewasear l
ytoday .
.

Hi
m:pumpki
n
Me:
Dad.
.
Hi
m:howwasschool
?
Me:
i
twasokasusual
.
.
Him:Iwantust
ogoonatri
ptoget
heryou
know,dosomefat
hert
odaught
erbondi
ng..
.
Me:
thatwi
l
lbel
ovel
y.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.assoonasy
ougoonhol
i
day
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:umhhIhear
daboutPr
on.
.
Me:
prom dad
Him:yesthat.
..
ummmhy ouknowy oucantal
k
toLizzyaboutmaybey
ourdress.
.sheknows
manydesi gner
swhocanmakey ouav er
ynice
dress
Me:
ok.
..
Hi
m:y ouknowIwantustohav
ethat
r
elat
ionshi
p..Youknow.
.
Me:
Iwoul
dLi
ket
hatal
so.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.y
oucangochange.
.

Ithenwentt omyr oom, Ijustlayonmybed

thinki
ngaboutev er
ythingt hatoccurred
today..t
hiswasmost l
yt hebesti nter
estingdayI
hav eeverhad..
andev ent hef actthatmydad
want smeandhi mt ohav et hatkindof
relati
onshipwherewillbecl oseisjustnice..
it
s
notev erydayt
hatyourf atherwant stohav ea
closerelati
onshi
pwithhi sdaught er.
..Basical
ly
thedayendedtheusualway .
.Lizzycameback
abitl
ateandshefoundmeandDadal r
eady
cooki
ng,wethencookedtogetherasaf amil
y
anditwasfun.Thefol
lowingmor ningIdidmy
usualr
outi
ne,bathedanddr essedup.Tookmy
bagthenwentdownstair
s...AndalsoasusualI
foundLi
zzy.
.Dadwasal readygone. .

Me:
mor
ning
Her
:pumpki
n
Me:
l
oly
ouhav
est
art
ed.
.
Her
:howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
ok.
..
you?
Her
:f
ine.
.umhhy
ourdadt
oldmeabouty
our
Pr
om
Me:
am notgoi
ng.
.Idon'
tthi
nkIwi
l
lgo
Her
:why
?
Me:
I.
..
Ijusthat
ecr
owdedpl
aces.
.
Her
:youar
eshy
?
Me:
andt
hat
'st
hehur
ti
ngt
rut
h
Her:
beaut
if
ulgir
lsdon'
thavet
obeshyKr
is.
.y
ou
ar
etoobeauti
fultobeshypumpki
n..
.
Me:
Iwi
shIf
eltl
i
ket
hat
..
Her
:don'
tworr
y,asl
ongasyouareher
eIwi
l
l
makeyoufeelr
eall
yBeaut
if
ul.
.

Befor
eIcouldrespondmyphoner ang,
itwasan
unknownnumber ,
foraminut
ethereIdidn'
t
wanttoanswerespecial
l
ytoanumberIdi dn'
t
knowbutcuri
ositygotmebadlythatIendedup
answeri
ng.
.

Me:
speaki
ng?
Cal
l
er:
i
tsVenus.
.
Me:
ohh.
.umhhhi
Hi
m:am out
side.
.Come
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:bequi
ckorwegoi
ngt
obel
ate.
.
Me:
ummhh.
.
Hi
m:comeout
..

Ist
oodupandwenttolookt
hroughthewi
ndow
andsur
pri
singl
yhe'
scarwasoutsi
de.
..
Hi
m:nowy
ousawmecomeandl
et'
sgo.
.

It
ookadeepbr
eat
hhungi
ngup.
.

Me:ummmhLi
zzyIhavet
ogo.
.seemsl
i
keI
hav
ewonmysel
falif
t.
.

Isai
dwalki
ngout.
.Igotoutsi
de,
assoonasI
gottohi
scarhewasalreadyout
sideopeni
ng
thedoorme.
.hel
ookedsohotandhewas
wear
ingsungl
asses.
.
Hi
m:mor
ningt
oyou.
.
Me:
mor
ning.
.
Isai
dget
ti
ngi
nthecar
..
.heal
sogoti
nthenof
f
wewent.
.

Him:
star
ti
ngfr
om t
odayIwi
l
lbepi
cki
ngy
ouup
anddr
oppingy
ou.
.

Hesaidwithhi
sf ocusont heroad,hedidn't
kookli
kesomeonewhowasj oking..Buthe
l
ookeddeadserious. .Iguessthiswer ethe
changesbutIdi
dn' tcarewhatchanges. .deep
downIknewasl ongasam wi thhi m am safe..
EventhoughIdidn'tknowmuchabouthi m but
whatIknewwast hat

1.
I'
m saf
ewi
thhi
m
Andlast
lyIknewIhadfal
l
endeepf
orhim..
I
l
ovedhimt obecer
tai
nandthi
sIwassureof!
.
.
*
**ToBeCont
inued*
**
[
11/26,16:
46]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t10
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Me:
me?
yeah.
.am ok.
.why
?
Hi
m:y
ouhav
ebeensoqui
te.
.
Me:ohh.
.I
..
.wel
l.
.ummhitsnot
hing.
.Idonthav
e
any
thingtosaythat
'sal
l
...
Hi
m:soy
oudontwantt
osayany
thi
ng?
Me:wel
lapar
tfrom ar
eyougoi
ngtobepicki
ng
meupanddr oppi
ngmeoffathomether
e's
not
hingel
seIguess..
Hi
m:wel
lthi
sisoneoft
hechanges.
..
Me:
Isee.
..
Hi
m:It
oldy
ou,
Iwanty
out
obesaf
eal
lthet
ime.
..

Inodded.
.

Byt henwewer ealr

eadyent er
ingtheschool
premises.Therewasn'
talotofst udent
sso
meani ngthatwewereearl
y .Assoonashe
parkedwest eppedoutofthecar..
Me:ummhsoar
eyougoi
ngt
obesi
tt
ingi
nmy
cl
ass?
Hi
m:no,
butonl
yfort
hesubj
ect
sIdoIwi
l
l.
..
Me:
ok.
..
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
let
'sgo.
.

Hewalkedmetomyclassandaswegott
hereI
foundBenonmychai
r,
itseemedl
i
kehehad
beenwait
ingf
orme.
.

Me:
Ben.
.hey
!
Ben:
Kri
s..
..
Venus
Venus:
Ben.
..
Iwi
l
lseey
ouatbr
eak.
.Ri
ght
?
Me:
yeah.
..
seey
ou

Het
henwal
kedaway
..

Me:
hey
..
.
Ben:
newf
ri
end?Boy
fri
end?
Me:
who?
Vee?
Ben:
Vee?
Me:
ImeanVenus.
.
Ben:
i
shey
ourboy
fri
end?
Me:
fr
iend.
.
Ben:t
hewayhe'salwaysar
oundyoumakesme
questi
onthat
..
evenyoucal
li
nghi
m Veerai
ses
redfl
ags.
.
Me:
noser
iousl
y.
..He'
saf
ri
end
Ben:
ok.
.any
wayIcamet
ojustseey
ou.
.
Me:
ohht
hat
sni
ceofy
ou.
.
Ben:
howar
eyou?
Me:
am good.
..
you?
Ben:
am goodal
so.
..
sother
e'sthissci
encecl
ubI
waswonderi
ngify
oucanjoin.
.youknow..
Me:
asci
encecl
ub.
..
ok.
.whynot
?
Hi
m:gr
eat
!.
.any
waywegot
her
eaf
terschool
,
but
sincetodayther
e'ssomeent
ertainmentatt
he
hallaf
terbreaksoyoucanof
ficiall
yst
art
tomorrow..
Me:
ent
ert
ainment
?
Him:
yeah.
.somedancecl
ubswi
l
lbegi
vi
ngus
someshow...
Me:
dancecl
ubsoft
hisschool
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
ok.
.t
hatsoundsexci
ti
ng.
.
Hi
m:y
eahi
tis.
..
lookl
etmegetgoi
ng.
.
Me:
seey
oui
ntheaddMat
hsl
esson.
..
Hi
m:ok.
.

Hethenwalkedawayleavi
ngmeset t
li
ngonmy
desk.
..AsIwassti
l
lbusyonmybooksIhear d
someoneclear
ingt
heirthr
oat.
..
Ilookedupand
i
twasBar r
ywhostoodinfrontofmewi thLeah.
.
Leah:
Icoul
dn'
twai
tfort
hisdayt
ocome.
.
Bar
ry:
met
oo.
.nowt
alk.
.what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
not
hingr
eal
l
y..
Leah:ok..
.y
ouguysarealwaystoget
her.
..Imean
everyti
meandy eahsureit
'snothi
ng?Youmust
bejoking..
.
Me:hesay
she'
sbei
ngmybody
guar
dorsot
o
say
...
.
Bar
ry:ohht
hatssweet
..
.sobesi
dest
hatt
her
e's
not
hinggoingon?
Me:
yeah.
..
not
hing.
.
Barr
y:andwhenthehecki
shepl
anni
ngt
omake
themov eal
ready
?

TrustBarr
ytobeBarry
..
.LeahandIl
aughedat
Barry'
sret
ardst
atement.
..Asweweresti
ll
tal
kingBarr
yexcusedhersel
fwit
hherphone
ri
nging.
..
Leah:
soi
shecomi
ng?
Me:
no,
break
Leah:
ok,
didy
out
hinkaboutPr
om?
Me:y
eah.
..
.Ij
ustdontt
hinkmecomi
ngi
sagood
i
dea.
..

Shesmi
l
ed.
..

Leah:
haveyouev
erl
ookedaty
ourr
efl
ect
ionon
themir
ror?

Inoddedwonder
ingwer
eshesgoi
ngwi
tht
his.
..

Leah:
eversi
nceImetyouImustsaythings
havebeendif
fer
ent
..
.Ihavenevermetanyone
l
ikeyou.
..
youaresobeaut
iful
butyoudon'tgo
aroundbraggingaboutit
..
.Youaresodi f
ferent
fr
om everyone..Youarenoteveni
nterestedin
Prom..IwishIhady ourbeaut
yandy ourbody .
..
.
Me:
l
olgoaheadt
aket
hem.
.

Shel
aughedsof
tl
y.
..
.

Her:
Idon'tknow..Ij
ustf
eelhappyar ound
you.
..
whichi swhyitsagoodi deathatyou
cometoPr om. .
sothatpeoplecanst ar
tseei
ng
somedifferenceunli
kewhatt heyareusedto
ever
yday..
.am sureyouwill
wi nasQueen..
Me:
what?It
houghtt
hoset
hingsexi
stonl
yin
movi
es.
.
Her:seemsli
kenot.
..
anywaywhydoy ouhi
de
thatsexybodybehi
ndthoseoversi
zedcl
othes
butany wayyoust
il
ll
ooksexythough.
.
Me:t
hankyou.
..
idkmaybeit
'sbecauseIr
eal
l
y
dontmakeabigdealofwhatIwear..
.
Her:andyoudontevenwearmakeup..
.Venusis
notyourcl
ass.
.youdeser
vebett
erl
ikethel
ikes
ofLeoDiCapri
oorBrandonJayMcLaren
Me:GodIusedtocrushont
hosepeopl
e..
..
Especi
all
yBrandon.
..
Her
:met
oo

Shewhi
sper
ed.
..
thenwel
aughed.
..

Her
:pl
easecome.
..
.
Me:
okf
ine.
.y
oudi
dal
otofconv
inci
ngt
her
e..
.
Her
:andev
ery
thi
ngIsai
dist
rue.
..
Me:y
ouareal
sobeaut
if
ul.
..
real
l
yreal
l
y..
.byt
he
waywer
edoyoucomef r
om?
Her
:hal
fJamai
canhal
fCol
ombi
an.
..
Me:
andBar
ryMexi
cor
ight
?
Her
:yeah.
..
Me:
andt
hat
'swhatmakesusf
ri
ends.
.
Her
:yeah.
..

Afterawhi leBarrycamebackbutwedi dn'ttal

k
becauset imewasal r
eadyup. .
.Myf i
rstlesson
wasphy sicst henAddmat hs...WhenIgott o
addmat hsBenwasn' tiny etsoIj ustsatdown
andf ocusedonmybooks, thet eacheral so
wasn' ti
n...Inot i
cedJupi t
erent ert hecl assbut
i
nst eadofgoi ngtohersi tshecamest raightto
mydesk. ..AskmehowIwasf eelingt hat
momentandIwi l
ltellyounol i
e..Myhear twas
beat i
ngf ast,whatdoesshewant ?Wehav e
nev erexchangedev enonewor dev ersinceIgot
herebuther eshewaswal kingt owar dsmy
table..
.Fort hef i
rsttimeIact uallysawher
smi li
ng..
..Shewassmi l
ingatmeso
i
nv oluntaril
yIr et
urnedi t..
.

Her
:hi
..
.
Me:
hey
Her
:Am Jupi
ter
,youmustbeKr
is.
.
Me:
that
'sr
ight
..
Her:
ohh.
.Ihopeam notscar
ingyou.
.Ij
ust
wantedt
oseet hef
amousKr is.
.

Il
aughed.
..

Me:
Famousisanov
err
atedwor
d..
.am mor
eli
ke
t
henewKid.
.
Her
:wel
li
tsni
cet
omeety
ou.
..
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Her
:Iwi
l
lseey
ouar
ound.
.
Me:
ok

Thenshecatwalkedher
selft
ohersi
t.
..
I
coul
dn'
tunder
standwhatjust
happened.
..
may beVenust ol
dheraboutme..
..
AsIwasst i
l
l t
ryi
ngt ofi
xthepuzzl
eof
expl
aini
ngwhatj usthappenedBenenter
edthe
cl
ass..
.Hegotin,satonhischai
randturnedto
measal ways.
..

Me:
hey
..
Him:hey
..
soItal
kedtothemember
soft
he
sci
enceclubandguesswhat
?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
ouar
eof
fi
cial
l
yin.
..
Me:
that
'sgr
eatnews.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.

Hest
art
edwhi
sper
ing.
..

Hi
m:whyisJupi
terlookingatyouli
ket
hatand
al
sosmil
i
ng..
.Don'tturntolookshewi
llknow
wear
edi
scussi
ngher
..
.
Me:well
Idon'
tknowtoo.
..
shej
ustcameand
st
artedaconv
ersat
ionwi
thme..
..
Hi
m:t
hat
sunusual
.
..
Me:
i
sit
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..Sheonl
ytal
kswi
thspeci
fi
cpeopl
e..
Me:
may beshewasj
ustSay
inghi
tot
henewgi
rl
i
nschool.
.
Hi
m:y
ourov
erpossessi
veboy
fri
endt
oldher
..
Me:
boy
fri
end?
Hi
m:Imeanf
ri
end.
.Yourf
ri
endVenus.
..
Me:he'
sjustaf
ri
endnothi
ngmor
ebutmay
be
andevensomethi
ngless.
.
Hi
m: i
fyousayso...
imagi
neifyouguysget
marri
ed..
.I'
m sur
ey ouwil
lnameyourKids
MercuryandMarsev enPl
uto.
.
Wel
aughed.
.

Me:
wear
enotdat
ing.
.
Hi
m:yesandthat
'swhyyouguysar
eal
way
s
t
oget
her.
.OkIbel
ievet
hat.
.asi
f!
!

Hesai
dwi
thhi
svoi
cef
il
ledwi
thSar
casm.
..

Me:youknowwhatt
ell
memor
eaboutt
he
sci
enceclub.
.
Hi
m:wel
li
tsbasi
cal
l
yabout
..
-

Hewasst oppedbyt heteacherent eri

ngthe
cl
ass,i
mmedi atel
yhet urnedawayf rom meand
gavetheteachertheat t
ention.Thel esson
conti
nuedwi t
hmest eali
ngsecr etglancesat
Jupi
ter.
.Afterthelessonitwasbr eak,Iwal
ked
outwithBen...Wewal kedtot hecaf et
eria
wher
eImetLeahandBar
ryal
readyt
her
e..
.

Leah:
Ithoughty
ouwi
l
lbewi
thVenus.
..
Me:
yeahbutseemsl
i
kenot
..
.

"Youarewr ong"av oicesai

dandf r
om theti
meI
hadhear dVenus'sv oicet
hefi
rstti
memymi nd
j
ustrecordedi tandnowIknowi tli
ketheback
ofmyhand. .Itwashi m,myheartandbrai
n
agreed.
..Wet urnedandasIhav esaid,
i
twas
him..
.

Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
e..
-
Hi
m:y
out
houghtwr
ong.
..
Me:
ummhIguessso.
.
Hi
m: eatup,
Iwi
llcomepi
cky
ouupsowego
af
teryouaredone..
Me:
ok.
..
Thenhewalkedawayt
owher
eJer
emi
ahwas.
..
Iset
tl
eddown..
.

Leah:
ok..
..
soonSaturdaymay
beweshoul
dgo
andlookfordr
esses.
..
Me:
ummh. .my.
.ummmhmy .
..
step.
.ummhmy
mom shesuggestedsomedesignerswhocan
makedressesspeci
fi
cal
lyf
orus...
Bar
ry:
wow!
that
ssocool
ofy
ourmom.
..
Leah:
yeah.
..
atl
eastonepr
obl
em down.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
Barry
:any
waySatur
dayagai
nVenus.
..
wellthe
TheTigersar
ehavi
ngaparty
..
aft
ert
heirgame
thatt
heyclai
mtheyar
eautomati
cal
l
ygoingto
winatVenus'
shouse.
..
Me:
TheTi
ger
s?
Leah:
ther
ugbyt
eam.
..
theyar
ecal
l
edTHE
TI
GERSandVenushappenst
obeCapt
ain.
.
Me:ohhIsee.
..
sowhati
ftheyl
ose?Thenwhat
'
s
goi
ngtohappen?
Bar
ry:
i
tsr
arerf
ort
hem t
olose
Me:
butany
thi
ngcanhappen.
.
Leah:myguessisthatt
heywill
stil
lhavethe
partyt
henclai
mt ohavelett
heotherteam win
purposel
ybecausetheyfel
tsorr
yforthem..
.

Weal
ll
aughed.
..
.

Barr
y:Icanbetonthat
,t
heyhav
etoomuchpr
ide
overt
heirsl
eeves.
..
Me:
youguy
sthough.
.
Leah:
what?i
tsthetr
uth.
..
any
wayf
ini
shup.
.he'
s
al
readycoming..
Bar
ry:
wewi
l
lseey
out
hen.
.
Shesai
dasVenuswasal
readyappr
oachi
ng
us.
..

Hi
m:done?
Me:
yeah.
..

Istoodup, t
ookmybag, wavedBar r
yandLeah
byeasVenusl edmeouthol dingmyhand. .
TodayIdi dn'tevenpayat tentiontopeople'
s
eyes...
west art
edwal kingtot hehall,
whenwe
gott here,t
her ewerepeopl ebutnott hatmuch.
..
Wesatdownont helastseat s,t
helastrol
ebutI
couldseet hest ageclearl
y..
.

Hi
m:ar
eyouokher
e?
Me:
yeah.
..
Hi
m:ok.
..
howwasaddmat
h?
Me:
i
twasok,
heydi
dyout
ell
yoursi
sterabout
me?
Him:Idontr
ememberbutIt
hinkso.
.why
ask?
shet al
kedt
oyou?
Me:
yeah.
..
butwhywoul
dyout
ell
her
?
Hi
m:whatdoy
out
hink?
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
buty
oucant
ell
me.
.
Hi
m:wel
lIdontknowt
oo.
..

Hesai
dleaningbackandlooki
ngforward..
..
.
Peopl
estart
edgetti
nginsl
owlybutsurely
..
it
wasgett
ingfil
l
ed.
.
IevensawLeahandBar
ryastheygoti
n..They
satsomewherei
nthemiddl
e..

Venus:
whyar
eyousoqui
te?
Me:
I.
..
Idon'
thav
eany
thi
ngt
osay
..
Hi
m:ory
ouar
etooshyt
otal
k..
Me:
that
'snott
rue.
.
Hi
m:i
tis.
..
Me:Iwon'
targue.
..
anywaywhat
'
sthepur
poseof
t
hissocall
edentert
ainment
?
Him:f
unIguess..
.andal
sof
orleav
inga
mark.
..
theyaregoingt
ocompeteandwina
championshi
p..
.
Me:
thedancecr
ew?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:soy
oudeci
dedt
ojoi
nSci
encecl
ub?
Me:
howdi
dyouknowaboutt
hat
?
Him:someoney
oudontknow,
any
wayt
he
enter
tai
nmenti
sst
art
ing.
..

Hesai
dlooki
ngf
orwar
dagai
n..Thel
i
ght
swent
off,
thehallwasf il
l
edwi t
hdar knesst henthere
wasl i
ghtononeper sonont hest age. .
.That
personstartedtodance. .Her eall
yknewhowt o
dancewel landaf t
erawhi l
et hewhol estage
hadabl ueflashinglightrefl
ect ingthem whi l
st
therestofthehal lwasst il
li
nt hedar k..
..
thi
s
peoplewer ereall
ygoodam t el l
ingy ou..There
weremanydi ff
erentcr ewswhi chdancedandi t
wasr eal
lyfun..Afteritwasdone, Iwentt othe
rugbygroundwi thVenus. .Wewer estil
l
walkingthere.
.

Me:
sof
orhowl
ongdoy
oupr
act
ice?
Hi
m:anhourorso.
..
Me:
ok.
.

Wewal kedt
ohisl
ocker,wherehiscl
othes
were.
.HechangedhisTshirt
..
.meanwhileIj
ust
st
oodthereli
kealostpuppy.
.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
.

Heledmeout side,t
othegr oundandmademe
si
tatthef rontr oleoftheterraceashewent
backinside...Ijustkeptmy selfoccupiedbymy
phone..Ireallyneededt otellTshepangassoon
asIgethome. ..Af t
erawhilehewasback, but
hewasn' talone.Hewaswi thagr oupofother
boyswhi chmademeabi tuncomf or
table.
..He
camet owar dsme. .

Hi
m:y
oucool
?
Me:
yeah.
..
Him:
shouti
fyouneedany
thi
ng.
.Any
thi
ngatal
l
ok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:okcool
..
Het henwal kedawayj oini
nghi steam. .
.They
thenst ar
tedpracticing..Thewayt heywer e
practici
ngIsweart oGodt heywant edt obreak
thei
rownbones. .Ev erythi
ngwasj ustfull
of
viol
ence..Afterabout20mi nutesoft hem
practici
ngtheircoachcame. .Isattherethrough
outthewhol eor deal..
.Theyt ookmor ethanan
hour,andwhent heywer edonehei mmedi at
ely
camet ome. .

Hi
m:okdone.
.
Me:
ok.
.

Hehel
pedmest
andup.
.

Hi
m:sohowdi
dyouf
undr
ugby
?
Me:
somet
hingIwoul
dn'
ttr
ytodoi
nmyr
ight
st
ateofmi
nd.
..

Hechuckl
ed.
..
.

Hi
m:i
tsr
eal
l
yfuny
ouknow.
.
Me:
Idoubtt
hat
..
.Iheav
il
ydoubti
t.
..
Hi
m:howaboutwet
ryi
t.
..
Me:
tr
ywhat
?rugby
?no.
.nonono.
..
no!
Hi
m:y
es,
come.
.

Hesai
dpul
l
ingmei
ntot
hegr
ound.
..

Him:ok,
Iwanty outor
unwi
tht
hisbal
ltot
hat
l
ine.
..
doy ouseeit
?

Hesai
dgi
vi
ngmet
hebal
l
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:good,
butmakesur
eIdontcat
chy
ou.
.
Me:
ok,
shoul
dst
artr
unni
ngnow?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.

Hesai dsmili
ng,Iputmybagdown.Wi t
hin
somesecondsIwasr unninginci rcl
eswi thhim
afterme..Iwaslaughingsohar d,hecaughtme
beforeami nut
ecoul devenpassmaki ngusal l
fal
l downbutmybodydi dn'tevent oucht he
ground,Ifel
lont opofhis..Isti
l
l hadt heballin
myhandsandhewast ry
ingt ogeti tbylocking
mei nhisembr acewhilewewer el aughing..

Me:
ohmyGod.
.y
ouar
echeat
ing.
..

Isai
dashef
inal
l
ytookt
hebal
l
...
Him:
youweresupposedt
oruntot
hewhi
tel
i
ne
buty
ouchosetoruninci
rcl
es.
.
Me:
becausey
ouwer
eaf
terme.
.
Hi
m:st
il
l.
..

Iwasst
il
ll
yi
ngont
opofhi
m..
.

Me:youshoul
dhaveletmeatl
eastr
unhalf
way
acr
ossthegroundbefor
ecomi
ngafterme.
..
Hi
m:buty
ouwer
eal
readyt
her
e..
Me:
noIwasj
usther
e..
Hi
m:ohhr
eal
l
y?
Me:
yes!

Befor
ehecoul
dsayanyfurt
herIheard
someonecl
ear
ingt
heirt
hroatandthat
swheni
t
regi
ster
edi
nmymindhowcl oseIwaswit
h
Venusphy si
call
y.
.ImeanIwasl y
ingontopof
hi
m. .
.Quickl
yIstoodupandIsawJupi t
erand
Jeremiahstandi
ngrightt
her
e..
.Venusal
so
stoodup..
.

Jer
emi
ah:
didwedi
stur
b?
Venus:
obv
iousl
ybuti
tsok,
whati
sit
?
Jer
emi
ah:
Lloy
d?
Venus:
shi
t!If
orgot
..UmmhIwi
l
lmeety
ouguy
s
ther
e..
.
Jupi
ter
:ok.
.by
eKr
is.
.
Me:
bye.
.

Theyt
henwal
kedaway
..
.

Me:
didImakey
ouf
orgetsomet
hing?
Hi
m:what
?no.
..Nev
er.
Me:Idontwantt
ocompl
i
cat
eyourl
i
fey
ou
know..
Him:
nooneiscompli
cat
ingmyl
i
feKr
is.
..
Ilov
e
doi
ngthi
ssojustl
etme.
..

Inoddedslowl
y.
..
.Ididn'
twanttobeaburden
tohim,
thatwasthelastt
hingIwant
ed.
..

Him:y
ouaresweat
ing.
.Doy
ouwannat
akea
shower?

Heaskedaswewentbacki
nsi
de.
..

Me:
no,
am f
ine.
..
Iwi
l
ldoi
tathome.
..
.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
100.
1%
Hi
m:sur
esur
esur
e?
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:sur
esur
esur
esur
esur
e?

Il
aughedt
henhej
oinedme.
.hewasbei
ng
i
rr
it
ati
ngonpur
pose..

Hi
m:am goi
ngt
oputy
oui
ntheshowermy
sel
f.
..
Me:
youwoul
dn'
tdar
e..
Hi
m:wannabet
?
.
.
3WEEKSLATER
.
.
Thi
ngsweresti
l
l t
hesame,andVenuswasst i
ll
bei
ngmychauffeur.
.Wehadreal
lygrowncloser
toeachot
her
..
.Ididjoi
ntheSci
enceclubandI
guessi twasal lWorthit.
..Itwasr eall
y
fun,somet i
mesVenuswoul dcomewat chme
dosomeexper iments.
..Cheermeonand
stuff.
..l
ikeIdowi thhim athi srugby
practice,onemor eexcit
ingt hingi sthatwewer e
goingonahol i
daythefollowi ngweek. .
...
sohere
Iwas, withLeah,Barr
yandLi zzyathome
togetherwi t
hthedesignersher ecommended. .
Hewast akingourmeasur ement s..
.Aftera
whilehewasdoneandgone. ..ThePr om was
goingt ot akepartaft
erwecomebackf rom t
he
holi
day

Leah:
ok.
..
soy
ouMr
s..
Me:
me?
Leah:
yeah.
.Whenthehecki
sVenusgoi
ngt
o
askyououtal
ready
?
Me:
we.
.-
Bef
oreIcoul
dfini
sht
alki
ngmyphoner
ang,
and
i
twasVenus..
.

Leah:
y ousee,
healwayscall
sli
kehei
sy our
boyfr
iend.
.Thewayhej usthandl
esy
ou..l
ike
youarehiswifecan'
thejustsayi
tal
ready?

Iqui
cklywentupstai
rst
omyr
oom andcl
osed
thedooransweri
ng..

Me:
hel
l
o..
Hi
m:hey
..
comeout
side.
.
Me:
youar
eher
e?
Him:
yeah.
.pl
easecomeoutbef
orey
ourf
ather
comes.
.

Il
augheddroppi
ngthecall,
thenr
ushi
ng
downstai
rsandstr
aightout
sidel
eavi
ngLeah
andBarr
yscreamingmynamel
oud.
.Assoon
asIgotout
sideIgoti
nhi
scart
henhedrove
off
..
.

Me:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng.
.?
Him:afewhousesaway.
..
yourdadisreal
ly
scarypl
usi
tsSatur
day.
.Hemi ghtcomeback
andfindmewithhi
sdaughteri
nfrontofhi
s
gateandcr
ushme

Ilaughedsohar
d..Thewayhewassay
ingit
thoughmademydadsoundl i
keamonster
..

Me:say
stheguywhopi
ckmeupev
ery
dayand
dr
opmeof f
..
.
Him:
inthemorni
ngam alway
ssurehi
sgone
andaft
erschool
Idr
opy ou2housesawayf
rom
your
s..
.
Me:
Jesusmydadi
ssweet
..
he'
snotl
i
ket
hat
..
Hi
m: sayshisdaught
er.
..Any
wayt
hat
snotwhy
am here.
..
Me:
Ifi
gur
ed.
.whati
sit
?
Hi
m:sowecl
osi
ngnextweek.
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:pl
ansf
ort
hehol
i
day
?
Me:
notreal
l
yapartfr
om thet
ri
pmydadwant
s
ust
otakether
e'snot
hing.
.
Hi
m:ok,
sot
hereisthi
sev
enthappeni
ngandI
'
m
i
nneedofadate.
..
Me:
ohw.
..
.y
ouwantmet
ohel
pyouf
indone?
Hi
m:no,
Iwantyoutohel
pmeaskherout
,I
f
oundheral
ready
..

Ok,maybethefactthatIl
i
kedhi m andthenhe
asksmet ohel
phi m askanothergir
loutreal
l
y
hurtmebutItookitasabi ggir
l.
.t
houghmy
hear
twasbr
eaki
ng.

Me:
ok,
am game.
.whoseshe?
Him:pl
easepr
omi
semey
ouwi
l
lmakeher
agree.
.
Me:okIpr
omise.
.af
tergi
vi
nghersomeKr
is
convi
nci
ngshewill
agree.
.
Him:
ok,
it
sKr
issohowabouty
ouconv
ince
your
sel
f.
.

Il
aughedbutst
oppedwhenIr
eal
i
zedhes
act
uall
ynotj
oki
ng..
.

Me:
i
ts.
..
.I
..
.i
tsme?Asi
nmeme?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..

Il
ookedathi
minconf
usi
on.
..
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:pl
easebemydat etotheev
entandal
sot
o
t
heummhPr om.
..
please..

Di
dhejustaskmetobehisdate?Itookadeep
br
eat
htocalm down.
..
Iwoul
dn'twannacome
of
fasdesperat
esoIheldmyself
..
.

Me:
ok,Iwi
llt
alkt
oKrisandseewhatshesay
s
t
henIwil
lcal
lyoutomorr
ow..
.
Hi
m:gr
eatnowmay
bewecangof
ori
cecr
eam.
..

Hesaiddrivi
ngtothemal
l
...
deepdownIwasso
exci
ted.
..Tookhi
m damnlongenough!
!
.
.
*
**ToBeCont
inued*
***
[
11/
26,
19:
43]Ron:
#MI
NI.
..

**
ITSVERYSHORTGUYS.
..
SORRYI
N
ADVANCE**
*
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STI
N'SDI
ARY
#I
nser
t11
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Hi
m:doy
oul
i
kei
t?
Me:
i
tsbeaut
if
ul.
.

Wewereatsomelakehehaddrov
etoaft
erthe
i
cecr
eams.Itwassit
uat
edatsomeisol
ated
placeimmediat
elyaft
ertown.Itwasso
beauti
fulandpeacef
ul.I
tjusthel
dthi
sfeel
i
ng
thatsett
ledmyheart
..

Hi
m:Icomeher
eforsomesel
fev
aluat
ion.
..
Me:i
tsreall
ybeauti
ful
..
.howdi
dyouev
en
di
scoverthispl
ace?
Him:myGr andfat
hershoweditt
ome, afew
daysbeforehepassedon.Ihadgot t
eninlotof
Troubl
ebyst eali
ngmydad'scarthengett
ingin
anaccident.Sohebroughtmeher et
odosome
selfev
aluati
on..
Me:
your
eal
lydi
dneedt hesel
fev al
uat
ion.
.
Any
wayam sor
ryaboutyourGrandfat
her.
.
Hi
m:i
tsl
i
fe.
..Wel
etgot
oli
ve.
.
Me:
i
tsf
art
hough.
.
Him:yeah.
..
Ihaveneverbr
oughtany
one
here,
evenmyf amil
y.
.
Me:
soi
t'
sli
keasecr
etpl
ace?
Hi
m:y
oucanputi
tli
ket
hat
..
Me:
ok.
.butt
henwhyshowi
ttome?
Hi
m:becauseIj
ustf
eltl
i
kei
t.
..
Me:
am gl
adyoudid,
Iwi
l
lal
socomeher
eformy
ownsel
feval
uat
ion.
.
Hi
m:Iher
ebyper
mity
out
ouset
hisar
ea.
.
Me:butIhadalr
eadygi
venmy
sel
fthe
per
mi ssi
on.
..
Him:I
'
mtheonl
yonewhocangi
vey
out
he
permi
ssi
on.
.

Il
aughed.
.

Me:shoul
dn'
tyoubepl
anni
ngapar
ty?
other
t
hanbeingher
ewithme?
Hi
m:i
tfeel
sri
ghtbei
ngher
ewi
thy
ou.
.
Hesai
dsmi
l
ing,
Ilookedathi
m..
.

Me:Iknowam goodcompany
..Ev
enmyf
ri
ends
sayso..
Him:yesy ouare, butthisonei sal i
tt
lebit
dif
ferent..Iknowt hismaycomeof fwei r
dbutI
havebeeni nawai ti
ngforlongandGodKnowsI
canfinallysayI 'm madl yinlov ewi t
hy ou.I
wannabewher every ouareandknowwher ev er
youar e.
...Ijustfeel complet ear oundy ou.
.You
suddenlyhav ebecomet her easonIgetexci ted
everytimeIwakeup. .
youhav ebecomemy
weaknesswi t
ht i
meandIj ustf eelli
kedy i
ng
everytimeIdontseey ou..
thissoundscr azy
Kri
sbutIl ovey ou...
Ijustwannal oveyou, iwant
togivey oumyal l beforeev erythinggoes
wrong. .
.
Ilookedathi m,withmyhear tbeat ingsof ast.
.
Ev erythingwasj ustgoingsl owl y
...Hel ooked
deepi nmyey esandIdi dt hesamet oo,usuallyI
woul dhav elookedawayl ongt i
meagobut
therewast hisstrongforcekeepi ngmyhead
still
.Itfeltli
ket herewast hismagnetbr i
nging
ourf acessl owl yclosertoeachot her,myey es
shutat omat ical
lythemomentIf elthislipson
mi ne..Igaspedasheki ssedmedeepl y..And
her eIwasget ti
ngmyf irstki ss,
Ijustwentwi t
h
thef l
ow. .Hesof tl
yheldmywai standbr ought
ourbodi est ogetherasweki ssedpassi onat el
y .
.
Hepul ledoutaf t
erawhi le..

Him:t
ell
mey oudontfeeli
t.
.t
ellmethere'
sno
connect
iony
oufeel.
.t
ellmey oudontfeel
whatI
feel
andIswearIwil
lneverbringt
hisupever
agai
n..

Me:
I..
.If
eel
it.
.I
..
-
Him:shhht hatsallIwantt ohear .
.Forthepast
weeksIhav ebeenf i
ght i
ngwi thmyf eeli
ngsand
Ican'tany more.
.You...I
'mi nlovewithyouKr i
s
andIdontwantt oscarey ouorany t
hing..
.ButI
dontthinkIcansuppr esst heloveIhavef ory
ou
anymor e..Ithur
tsandIj ustwanty out oletme
l
ovey ou...Itscr
azybel i
evemebutIl ovey ou
andIwanti ttobeusagai nstt heworld,us
againstallodds...
Iwantt obet hereasony ou
smile..
.cany ouletmedot hat?
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
..

Hesmiled.
..
hewr
appedhi
shandsar
oundme
agai
n..
.

Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor
e..

Hesai
dki
ssi
ngme,thi
skisswasfi
l
ledwi
tht
he
l
oveweshar
ed.
.Itwasfi
l
ledwit
hsomany
thi
ngsIcouldn'tbr
ingtowor ds.
.Itfel
tri
ghti
n
everyaspect.
.Andashesai d,i
tscrzybutIdi
d
l
ov ehim..
.Iheldontohim asIlostmy sel
fin
thekisswiththeguyIlove.
..Myfirstboyf
ri
end,
myf i
rstl
ove,myf i
rstki
ss..
.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
.
.
Pleasedontbemad, Ir
eall
ylostt
hel
onginser
tI
hadt y
ped.
..Iwill
t y
pet omorrow.
.Pl
easedont
bemadatme. .Ilovey'al
l
[
11/26,19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t12
.
.
Hi
m:someonei
sinagoodmood.
.

Mydadsai dduri
ngdinner.Iwasasathome
alreadyVenusdr oppedmeathomebef oremy
dadcamebackbuti twasabi tlat
e.Wespent
thewhol edayt al
king,
laughingandwithhim
steali
ngki ssesallt
het i
me.Iactual
lyenjoyed
my self
,spendingthattypeoftimewithhim was
j
ustper fecttome. .
.

Me:am j
ustinagoodmoodnot
hingmore
not
hinglessori
sitnowwr
ongtobejusthappy
?
Dad:
please!
justhappy
?Iknowt
hatsmi
l
eandi
t
i
nvol
vesaboy .
.

Il
aughed.
.

Me:
ther
e'snoboydad.
..
Li
zzy:Ithi
nkweshouldhavesomegi
rlt
alkov
er
shoppingrightKr
isDar
li
ng?

Ilaughedagai
nbutthist
imest
andi
ngup
togetherwi
thmyplate.
.

Me:
Ithi
nkI
mti
redsoam goi
ngt
osl
eepnow.
.
Dad:
runni
ngawayal
ready
..
.

Ii
gnoredlaughinggoi
ngtotheki
tchen.
.I
washedmypl atethenwenttomyroom...As
soonasIgott her
eItookmyphoneandcal l
ed
Tshepi
e..

Hi
m:f
inal
l
y!
Me:ni
ggai
tsonl
ybeen2day
swi t
houtme
cal
l
ingyouandyouactl
i
kei
tsbeendecades.
.
Hi
m:2day
sisal
ot.
.
Me:
nahf
am.
..
.butIgatnewsf
ory
ou.
.
Hi
m:Venus?

ItoldTshepi
eaboutaboutVenuslongtime
ago,ImeanVenusisthefi
rstguyIhaveever
l
ov edli
kethatsoobvi
ousl
yIhadtot el
lmy
bestie.
.

Me:
hef
inal
l
ysai
dit
!
Hi
m:j
eezt
ookhi
m sol
ong.
.Itwasaboutt
ime.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
sohowar
eyou?
Hi
m:am good.
.
Me:
yourpar
ent
sst
il
lfi
ght
?
Hi
m:nahact
ual
l
ytheyar
etr
yingt
ofi
xthi
ngs.
.
Me:
that
'sgood.
.
Him:
yeahbutforhowlongbef
oret
heyst
art
f
ight
ingal
loveragai
n?
Me: takeadeepbr eathand,cl oseyourey est hen
realizet hef actt haty ourpar entsfightingi stheir
choi ceandy ouont heot herhandhav eav ery
brightf utureaheadofy ou,y ouaredoi ngf orm
5,nexty earVar sit
ythent her oadt oy ourown
futuredi fferentf r
om whaty ourpar ent spr esent
starts. .Thent hinkofhowy ouar egoi ngt obe
differentf rom y ourparents, openy ourey es
thenr eal i
zey ouwon' tbebr okenby2adul ts
whochooset oactLi kekids,reali
zet haty ouar e
yourownmanandy ouar emuchgr eatert han
yout hinkt henev eryt
hingwi ll f
all
intopl ace. .
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
ou.
.Imi
ssy
ouv
erymuch
Me:
Imi
ssy
oumor
e..
.butDecemberam l
andi
ng.
.
Him:Ihopet
hatVenusofy
our
swon'
tcome
betweenus.
.
Me:
nothi
ngwil
levercomebet
weenusunl
essi
f
i
tsGodhimsel
f.
.
Hi
m:Toget
herf
orev
er.
.IknowIsoundGay
ish.
.
Me:l
olnahfam y
ousoundgenui
ne.
.Kagor
ata
(
Iloveyou)
Hi
m:l
ennakagor
ato
(
Ilov
eyout
oo)
Me:sowhenarey
ougoi
ngt
otel
lmeabouty
our
newgir
lf
ri
end?
hi
m:wel
lthi
ngi
syou.
.-
Me:Ther
e'sanincomi
ngcal
lTshepi
e..CanIcal
l
youtomorrow?
Hi
m:Venus'
sgi
rl
fr
iendwewi
l
ltal
ktomor
row.
.
Me:
yeahpl
easegr
eetAnt
ony
,Dy
lanandBKf
or
me.
..
Hi
m:ok.
.wi
l
ltal
kay
t?
Me:
obv
iousl
yby
e..

ThenIdr
oppedhi
scal
ltaki
ngt
hei
ncomewhi
ch
wasVenus.
.
Me:
alr
eadymi
ssi
ngme?
Him:
yeah.
.Imissyourl
augh..Iwouldl
i
stent
o
youl
aughall
dayifitwaspossibl
e..

Igi
ggl
edbl
ushi
ng.
.

Hi
m:andyoursmil
etoo,
incl
udingyourbeaut
if
ul
ey
es.
.ever
ythi
ngabouty
ou..Imissi
t..
Me:
that
sal
otofst
uffy
oumi
ssr
ightt
her
e..
Hi
m:ifi
tsyout
henGoddamni
tIwi
l
lmi
ssahel
l
l
otofstuf
f.
.
Me:
wel
lIbasi
cal
l
ythi
nk.
.-

Iwasstoppedbysomeonetal
kingathi
s
backgr
ound..
itwasaf
emale..
Her
:Venusy
our
eady
?
Hi
m:y
eahj
ustasec.
.
Her
:cool
,
weout
side.
.

Af
terawhi
l
eitwassi
l
ent
..
Hi
m:hel
l
o?babe?
Me:
am st
il
lther
e..
goi
ngsomewher
e?
Him:yeah.
.dontworr
yam goi
ngt
obehave.
.I
havesomet hi
ngpreci
ousnowwort
hbehavi
ng
for
..
Me:
butai
n'
ti
tlat
e?
Him:i
tsonl
yar
ound8babe.
.comeont
hatcan'
t
belat
e..
Me:
ohhok.
.keepsaf
ethen
Him:al
way
s..
sodi
dyout
alkt
oKr
isaboutt
he
date?
Me:
l
ol.
.wel
lyeah.
.
Hi
m:andwhatdi
dshesay
?
Me:
wel
lshesai
dyesaf
teral
ongst
ruggl
e
Hi
m:am gl
adshesai
dyes.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.
Hi
m:Cany
oupr
omi
semesomet
hing?
Me:
yeahwhati
sit
?
Hi
m:thatnomat
terwhatwewi
l
lfi
ghtf
orour
l
ove.
.
Me:i
fit
snotyoucheati
ngonmeorl y
ingthenI
pr
omiseIwil
lfi
ghtforourr
elat
ionshi
p,ourlov
e.
Ir
eall
yhat
eli
es..
Him:metoo.
.t
hat
swhymypr
evi
ousr
elat
ionshi
p
neverwor
kedout
..
Me:
ohh.
.
Hi
m:yeah,notwi
thmycurr
entexgi
rl
s
t
hough..
thatoneIdi
dn'
tj
ustl
oveher.
.
Me:
theonewhol
ast
edaweek?
Hel
aughed.
.

Hi
m:Iknewt
heyt
oldy
ouaboutt
hatone.
.y
eah
t
hatone.
.
Me:
Ihopeshewon'
tbeaprobl
em..Idontwant
t
obedeali
ngwit
hbit
terj
eal
ousexgirl
fr
iends.
.
Him:shewon'
t.
.shesmovedon.
.andnot
hingwi
l
l
happentoyou.
.Ipromi
se.
.
Me:ok.
.Ithi
nky
oushoul
dgetgoi
ng.
.y
ourf
ri
ends
ar
ewait i
ng.
.
Him:
wel l
it'
sJupiterandJeremiah.
.Sonobig
deal
.
.Iwillf
indthem ther
e..ThoughIf
eell
i
ke
comingandpi cki
ngy ouupsowegot oget
her
butyourdad..
.
Me:
yeah.
.hewi
l
ldef
inat
lycr
ushy
ou.
.
Hi
m:Iknow.
.hel
ooksscar
yhi
msel
f.
.okbabe.
.I
l
oveyouok?
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e..
Hi
m:by
e..
Me:
bye.
.

Thenhehungup, talkingt ohiml eftmei n

smilesbutwhatputmeof fabi twashi m going
outlateatnight..
Itookadeepbr eat hasIj ust
rel
ax edonmybed. .ThemomentIcl osedmy
eyesIimmedi atelyf ellasleep...Waki ngupt he
nextdayIbat hed,wor emyhi ghwai stjean
shorts,adenim cropt opandaov ersi zed
basketbal
lballjacket ,acapandf inishedi toff
withsomesneaker s..Afterallthatdr essi ngI
wentdownst airs,sincei twassundayIf ound
DadandLi zzysi t
tingdowneat ing..Di dIwake
upthatlatethatpeopl ear ealreadyeat ing
breakfast
?

Me:
mor
ning.
..
Dad:
pumpki
n..
Li
zzy
:youl
ookov
ert
het
op!Si
zzl
i
nghot
!
Me:
thanky
ou.
..

Isai
dsi
tt
ingdown.
.

Dad:
goi
ngsomewher
e?
Me:
yeah.
.am v
isi
ti
ngBar
ryandLeah.
.
Hi
m:am gl
ady
oumadef
ri
ends.
.
Me:
yeah.
.

Weat ehavi
ngaconver
sati
onhereandthere..
.
Afterweweredoneeat
ingIwashedthedishes
thenprepar
edtoheadout.
.

Li
zzy:
youlooksobeaut
if
ulbutt
her
e's
somethi
ngmi ssi
ng.
.
Me:
missi
ng?
whati
sit
?
Her
:wai
t.
..

Sherushedupst
air
sandcamebackaf
tera
whil
ewithamaroonli
pst
ick.
.

Her
:t
his.
.

Shesai
dappl
yi
ngme.
.

Her
:per
fect
!
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Her
:hav
efunsweet
y..
Me:
ok.
.

Iwal
kedoutanddr
oveout
..
.Iwasgoi
ngto
sur
pri
seLeahbyj
ustr
ocki
ngupatherhouse
wit
houttell
ingher.Idrov
ethereandr
angt
he
i
ntercom..Surpr
isi
nglyShe'
stheonewhocame
tothedoor,youshouldhavehear
dhowshe
scr
eamed. .
.

Me:
hey
..
Her
:ohmyGod.
.y
ouar
eher
e..
.

Shesai
dsuf
focat
ingmei
nahug,
ati
ghthug.
.

Her
:yest
erdayIwaswai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
am sor
ryIt
ooksol
ong.
.
Her:
nahit
sok,
youtaki
nglongmeans
somethi
nghappened.
.Whatisi
t?

Ij
ustsmi
l
ed.
..
Her
:ohHol
yMar
ry!
youguy
sar
e..
..
are.
.

Inoddedbef
oreshecoul
dev
enf
ini
sh.
..

Her:
am happyfory
ou.
.wehav
elongwai
tedf
or
t
hisMomemt ..
Me:
lol
..
Isy
ourdadi
n?

Bef
oreshecouldanswersomeguygotin,t
he
ni
ggaweoncesawatt hemov i
eswhoLeah
wentt
o,theonewit
hdreadl
ocksbutnotatthe
si
des.
..AshegotinLeahstoodther
einshock.
.

Hi
m:what
'swr
ong?

Heaskedget
ti
ngcl
osert
ous.
.
Leah:
whatonear
thar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:camet
oseey
ou.
.
Leah:
youwantmet
obegr
oundedf
orl
i
fe?
Hi
m:ofcausenotbuty
ourf
atherandmot
her
ar
enothere
Ij
ustst
oodt
her
eandwat
chedt
hem.
.

Hi
m:hi
am Br
ad,
youmustbeKr
is.
.

Hesai
dfaci
ngme.
.

Me:
yeah.
.
Him:
am sor
ry,
formybehav
ior
..I
'
m notal
way
s
l
iket
his.
.
Me:
nahi
tsokBr
ad
Hi
m:Ihopeam notdi
stur
bingany
thi
ng.
.
Me:
no.
.Iwasj
ustl
eav
ing.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.IguessIwi
l
lseey
ou
Me:
yeah.
..
byeLeah.
.
Her
:by
e..Iwi
l
lmakei
tupt
oyou.
.
Me:
dontsweati
t.
.

Ithenwalkedout ,
wenttomycaranddeci ded
may betojustgetBarry.
.Idrov
et oher
house,andsamewayLeahwashappywhenI
gottoherhouset hat'
showBar rywas..Idrove
ust oBenshouset henpickedhim upthendr ove
strai
ghttosomepar kclosetowher eBenst ays.
.
Wel ayonabl anket.
.

Me:
thi
spar
kissoqui
te.
.

I
twasr
eal
l
yqui
te,
ther
ewasn'
tal
otofpeopl
e..

Bar
ry:
yeah.
.comet
othi
nkofi
tIhav
enev
er
seenorhear
doft
hispar
k..
Ben:
i
tsnott
hatmuchknown.
.t
hat
'
swhy
..
Me:
ok.
..
.
Barr
y:ohKrisbeforeIforgetthere'
ssome
rest
aurant
,it
'snewandi sopeni ngtoday.
.soI
havesetupadat e,si
nceIfiguredthatyoudont
haveadateforPr om Ihavefixedyouone. .
Me:
wai
t.
.Ihav
e-

Shedidn'
twaitformer espondbuti
nsteadshe
j
ustpull
edmet ot hecarwithBenbehindus..I
l
ookedhim withthe"stopthi
s"l
ookandhej ust
l
aughedwhileshrugginghisshoul
ders..

Her:
youwi
llgowi
thBenwhi
l
eIf
oll
owy
ouguy
s
behi
ndwit
hBenscar.
.

Shet
henwal
kedt
oBenscarwhi
l
eIgoti
nthe
passengersi
tinmycarandBent
heot
hersi
de.
.
Hest
art
eddr
ivi
ng.
.

Me:
Ihonest
lyf
oundmy
sel
fadat
e..
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?who?
Me:
youwi
l
lseeandaboy
fri
endal
so.
.
Hi
m:Chr
ist
!Aboy
fri
end?Whosehe?
Venus?
Me:
whysuspecthi
m?
Him:
andther
ewegoi
tshi
mri
ght
?It
shi
m andI
knowit
!
Me:
yeah.
..
andhewon'
tl
iket
hisonebi
t.
.
Hi
m:soy
ouguy
sar
edat
ing?Of
fi
cial
l
ynow?
Me:
yeah.
..
Him:
wel
lam happyf
ory
ou.
.Di
dhesayhel
oves
you?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:Ihopehemeansi
t.
..Guy
sli
keVenusar
e
j
usthar
dtoTam andkeepi
nli
ne.
.
Me:
meani
ng?
Him:wel
lthefactt
hathe'
spopulargi
veshi
m
accesst
oal otoft
hings.
..
youdug?
Me:
arey
ousay
ingf
ucki
ngar
ound?
Him:yeah.
.buti
fhelov
edy
out
henIguess
nothi
ngwillgowrong.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
Iguessso.
.

WhatBensai dhadmet hinki

ng,Ishegoingto
cheatonme?Butt henagainhe'smyboy fr
iend
andIshouldgivehimt hebenef i
tofdoubtand
havefait
hinhim becausel i
kehemademe
promise,Iwil
lfi
ghtforourlove..Wearri
vedat
thenewr est
aurantafterawhile,wi
thBarr
y
behindus..
.

Her
:andwear
eher
e
Me:
Bar
ryIhav
esomet
hingt
otel
lyou.
.t
his.
.-
Her:
not
imef
ort
alki
nghe'
sal
readywai
ti
ngf
or
you.
.

Shesai
dpushingmeinsi
de.West
oodatt
he
doorwhi
leshepoi
ntedathi
m..

Her:he'
stheonewi t
hthecapov erthere,
and
he'
snamei sPri
nceMaxwell.
.secondy ear
Varsit
yguyand...
andtherestyouwi l
lknow
thr
oughhi m..Nowgo..
Me:
wai
t.
..
I.
.-
Her
:Kr
isnoar
gui
ngj
ustgo.
.heswai
ti
ng.
.

Shesaidpushingmei nsi
dethe,it
urnedtolook
atherandshewassi gnali
ngthatIshoul
dgo..
Shejustcoul
dn'tgi
vemeachancet otel
lherI
havealr
eadyfoundadat e.
.AsIturnedaway
fr
om hert owalkov ertotheguyj usttomake
herhappy .
.Shemi ghthav ewentt houghal otof
tr
oublejusttogett hi
sguy ..SoIj ustcouldn't
makeal lhereffort
sgoi ndr ain.
.Iwi l
ljusttel
l
herIalr
eadyf oundadat eaf ter.AsIt urned
awayf r
om hert owal ktothatguyIbumpedi nt
o
someoneheav i
lythatmybodymett hegr ound..
Myey esroamedar oundt oseewhoIhad
bumpedi ntoonl yt
or eal
izeitsVenus. .Hewas
al
readykneelingbesidesme. .

Hi
m:hey
,youok?
Me:
yeah.
.

Isai
dashehel
pedmesi
t.
.

Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hehel
pedmest
andup.
.

Hi
m:am r
eal
l
ysor
ry.
.Idi
dn'
tseey
out
her
e..
Me:noit
smyf
aul
t,Iwasn'
tl
ooki
ngwher
eIwas
goi
ng..
Hi
m:any
waywhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Me:
wel
l
..I
..
.ummmh.
..

AsIwasstil
ltr
yingt
ogetast
atementIsaw
Pri
ncecomingourway.
.Di
dhehavetocome
now?Barr
y!
Themomenthegott ousVenusgavehi
ma
nastyl
ookthatpr
ovedtometheykneweach
otherf
rom somewher
eandtheyhadsomebeef
.

Pr
ince:
Kri
s?
Hesai
dlooki
ngatme.
..

Me:
yes.
.
Venus:
babeIr
eal
l
ythi
nkweshoul
dgetgoi
ng.
.

Hesai
dasheki
ssedme.
.Pr
incej
ustchuckl
ed.
.

Pr
ince:
soshesy
ourgi
rl
fr
iend?
Venus:
yeahandwear
eleav
ing.
.

Hesaidpul
li
ngmeoutsi
deandwepassedBar ry
whojustst
oodwi
thhermout hhungopen..We
wal
kedtoVenus'
scari
nsilence.
.Icoul
dn'
ttel
li
f
hewasmadorhappy..
.Het ookav er
ydeep
br
eathwhenwegottohiscar..
Hi
m:am r
eal
l
ysor
ryaboutt
hat
..
Me:
arey
ouguy
senemi
es?
Hi
m:y
oucanputi
tli
ket
hat
..
buti
tsnot
hingbi
g..
.
Me:
i
fyousayso.
.
Him:Il
ov eyousomuchKr is,
andIdontwanna
l
osey ou,notnownotev er .
.Yout hef i
rstperson
whoi hav eeverl ovedli
ket hisandy ouhav e
suddenlybecomemywor l
di nsuchashor t
peri
odoft ime. .Ihaveenemi esoutthereand
knowt heywi l
l alwaystrytobr eakusbutasl i
fe
aswest andf irm onourl oveIbel i
evewecan
conquerany thingthatcanbet hr
ownourway .
Am notaper fectsomebody ..Ihadal i
febefore
youandIknowpeopl ewilltr
yt ouset hatasa
weapont odest r
oyusbutpl easedontl etthem..
Igenuinelylovey ousomuch. .
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.

Hehuggedme,
west
ayedl
i
ket
hatf
orawhi
l
e
unti
lhe'
sphonebeeped.Hetookitoutthen
checkedthecal
l
erIDbefor
edroppingthecall
..

Me:
whoset
hat
?
Him:
Jupit
er.
..Iwi
ll
seeherathome..r
ightnow
i
tsourt
imeandam notgoingtojeopardi
zeor
t
akeourti
met oget
herf
orgranted.
.Sowhatdo
youwannado?
Me:
j
ustl
i
edown.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.Iknowj
ustt
het
hing.
.Geti
nthecar
..
Me:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng.
.
Hi
m:j
ustgeti
n..

Heopenedt hedoorformeandIgoti n.
.He
drov
esomewher euntilwestopedatsome
doublest
oreymansion..I
tsbeauty!Ihavenev
er
seenahousebeautif
ul asthatone..
Me:
wher
ear
ewe?
Hi
m:wher
eIl
i
ve.
.

Hesai
ddr
ivi
ngi
nsi
de.
..

Me:
yourpat
ent
'shouse?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.l
et'
sgeti
n..

Hesai
dashepar
kedandswi
tchedof
fthecar
..

Me:
yourpar
ent
sar
ein?
Hi
m:nah.
.wentonsomeTr
ipatAust
ral
i
a..
Me:
Ihopey
ounotl
yi
ng.
.
Hi
m:nev
er.
.l
et'
sgo.
.

Hegotoutoft
hecarandcamet
oopent
he
doorforme...
Iwasr el
uct
anttogetofft
hecar
soinsteadofhim beggi
ngmehepi ckedmeup,
cl
osedt hedoorwithhisfoot
..Thewayhe
car
ried,i
twaslikeam afeather.
.

Me:
Icanwal
k,
youcannowputmedown.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
emybaby
,andIf
eel
li
kedoi
ngi
t.
.

Igi
ggl
edshy
ly.
.

Me:
Venus,
am ser
ious.
.Putmedown.
.

Heopenedt hedoorignori
ngmeandwegot
i
nsidethehouse.Godt hedecor!I
twason
anotherl
evel.
.itwassobeautif
ul.
..

Me:
wow.
.t
hisi
ssobeaut
if
ul.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
ain'
tyougonnaputmedown?
Hi
m:nah.
.
Hewal
kedwi
thmetothesi
tt
ingr
oom.
.Heput
medownont
hecouch.
.

Me:
fi
nal
l
y!
Hi
m:Icandoi
tagai
n..
Me:
am goi
ngt
oref
use.
..
Him:
that
sali
eandyouknowi
t.
.any
waywhat
canIgi
veyout
odri
nk?
Me:
noam ok.
.
Hi
m:Or
angej
uicei
tis.
.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat
..
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
.nowl
etmegety
ouy
ourj
uice.
.
Me:
Idont
..
.
Isai
dashewaswal ki
ngaway.
..
hestoppedon
hist
racksandt
urnedtol
ookatme..
.

Hi
m:y
oudon'
twhat
?
Me:
Ijustdont
..
.

Hecametomeandstar
tedt
ickl
i
ngme,I
l
aughedunt
ilmyt
ummystar
tedtohur
t.
..

Me:
ok.
..
o..
ok.
.I.
.l
ove.
.y
ou.
.I
..
lo.
..
lov
eyou

Het
henf
inal
l
yst
opped.
..

Hi
m:andIl
ovey
oumor
e..

Hel
ookedatme.
.
Hi
m:Ir
eal
l
ydo.
.

Hemov edhisfacet omineandourli

psmet .
.
Weki ssedsodeepl y..I
twasn'
tli
keanythingwe
hav eev erdone..I
twasmor el
ikeaconnecting
kiss..Wegotdi sturbedbysomeoneclear i
ng
theirthroat,
Ipanickedpull
ingoutoft
heki ss..
.
Hegotof fmeasIst oodup..I
twasJupi t
er..
.

Venus:hey
,Ibel
i
eveyouhav
emetKr
ismy
gi
rl
fri
endandbabethi
sismytwi
nsi
sterJupi
ter
..
Her:
wehav
emet
..
.It
sni
cet
oseey
ouagai
n
Kr
is.
.
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Her
:mindmesteali
ngthi
sasswhor
eyoucal
la
boy
fri
endforaminuteorso?
Me:
nahi
tsok.
..
Her
:Venus.
.
Venus:
can'
tyouseeam busy
?
Her
:ami
nut
eonl
y.
.

Shesaidpul l
i
nghim somewhere..Isat
down,andjusttooktheti
metoobser vethe
house..Icouldnev
ergetti
redofthebeautyit
hel
d..Hecamebackaf t
erawhile..

Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Him:
yeah.
.onl
ymyparentsar
egoi
ngt
o
post
ponethei
rjour
neyt
ocomebackhome.
.
Me:
that
ssad
Hi
m:i
tsnor
mal
tomenow.
.
Me:
am r
eal
l
ysor
ryaboutt
hat
..
Hi
m:asIhav
esaidweletgotoli
ve..Hol
dingon
t
onegati
vethi
ngshasneverhel
ped..
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:sowher
ewer
ewe.
.
Me:thepar
twher
eyouar
esupposedt
ogett
he
j
uice..

Hechuckl
ed.
..

Hi
m:okf
ine,
letmegetj
uicef
ormyl
ady
..

Hesaidwalki
ngout
..Afterawhil
ehecame
backwit
hacanofHei nekenandaglassof
orangej
uice.
.
Hehandov
ert
hej
uicet
ome.
.

Hi
m:comelet
'schi
l
l i
nmyr oom andr
elax
..I
won'
tdoanyt
hingyoudontwantmet odo..
Me:
ok.
.
Wegotupandwalkedtohisroom..Iwas
mesmeri
zedbythenovel
shehad,Ireal
lyl
ove
nov
elsbutnott
othatext
ent.
.

Me:
somuchbooks.
.
Hi
m:Ir
eadwhenbor
edorst
ressed.
.
Me:
wow.
..
Ithi
nkam goi
ngt
otakeaf
ewhome.
.
Hi
m:i
tsok.
..
Aft
erawhi
lewewerel
yi
ngonhi
sbed,
wit
hmy
headonhi
schest
..

Me:
youhav
ear
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ulr
oom.
.
Him:am gl
adyouli
kei
t.
.sowhatwer
eyoudoi
ng
atthatr
estaur
ant
?
Me:Barr
yhadsatmeonadat e.
.Lastti
meshe
checkedIdidn'
thav
eadatetot
hepr om soshe
hadpromisedtosorti
tout
..
.
Hi
m:sot
hatwasy
ourdat
e?
Me:y eah..
.shedidn'
tgi
vemeachancetotell
herIalreadyfoundone..
butIwasgoi
ngtotel
l
hertodayIswear ..
Hi
m:i
tsokbabe.
.Il
ovey
ourhonest
y..
Me:
Ihat
eli
es.
.
Him:ok.
.t
heonlyprobl
em Ihadwasy
our
exposedthi
ghs.
..
Me:
arewenowj
eal
ous?
Hi
m:j
eal
ous?Pl
ease!
Me:
yes.
..Youar
e..I
tssocut
e..
Him:
am notj
eal
ous.
.Am j
ustaconcer
ned
boyf
ri
end.
.
Me:
youar
ejeal
ous.
.
Hi
m:saythatonel
astt
imeandseewhatIwi
l
l
dotoyou.
.
Me:
Youar
eJeal
ous.
.
Hepulledmeont opofhi m ki
ssingme
deeply
..he'
shandstravel
ledfrom mywai
stto
myassandsqueezed, Igaspedasheconti
nued
ki
ssingmewhi lesqueezingmyass..
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Her:
Ihear
dAmer
icai
sreal
l
ybeaut
if
ulwheni
ts
wint
er.
.
Me:
yeah.
.y
ouwannago?
Her
:yeah.
.Yoursi
steri
sal
socomi
ng.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lsor
tyourt
icket
sjust
..
-
Her
:dontworr
ywegott
his.
..Wewi
l
lbel
eav
ing
t
omor r
ow..
Me:
okandwhenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Her
:af
teraweek.
.
Me:
ok,
hav
efun.
.
Her
:yeahwewill
..
bythewayBandil
eIhadbeen
meani
ngtotal
ktoy ouaboutsomet
hing.
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Her:
awife..Andil
ebabyyouarenotget
ti
ngany
younger
..
y ouare24,asui
tabl
eagefor
marri
age..Ithi
nkitst
imeyousett
ledown.
.
Me:
mom pl
ease.
..
am wai
ti
ngf
ort
her
ightone.
.
Her
:ther
ightone?Bandi
l
eThul
ani
.
.beser
ious.
.
Me:
yesI
vyThul
ani
.
.
Her
:heywena!I
tsmom t
oyou.
.
Me:
yesmom.
.Il
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oobaby
..Pl
easet
akecar
e..
Me:
alway
s..

Thenshehungup,
andt
hat
'smymom.
.Idont
regard24ast heaget ogetmarri
ed..Ireall
y
nevereventhinkaboutmar ri
age.
.oranything
rel
atedtothatanywaybutmymom al way s
ment i
onsit.
.AsIwasst i
l
lbrowsingonmy
phoneIhear daknockonmydoor .
.Iwentov er
tothedoorandsur pri
singlyi
twasTheodor e.
.
Somechi ckIusedt obangsomewhi l
eago. ..
Shewasbeaut i
ful
,sexyandnamei tall.
.but
defi
natlynotthemar r
iagetype.
.

Me:
Theo.
.
Her
:Bandi
l
e..
canIcomei
n..
Me:
yeah,
ofcause.
.

Shewal
kedi
n..
Me:
yeah?
Her
:Icamet
ocheckupony
ou.
.
Me:
that
sreal
l
yfunny
..
Her
:andshowy
ouwhaty
ouar
emi
ssi
ng.
.

Shesai
dtaki
ngofft
hecoatshewasweari
ng
l
eavi
ngheronlyi
nherr
edLinger
ie.
.Shel
ooked
sosexy
..
.
Shewal keduptomeandki ssedme.Ireal
ly
don'tmindsometypical
whor esthr
owing
themselvesatmeli
keshit.
.Imeanaf t
erall
its
freepussy.
.whosaysnotot hat
?
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
**

Av
eryl
ongi
nser
tasapol
ogy
..
am If
orgi
ven?
[
11/26,19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t13
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Mondaymor ni
ngIwokeupabi tearly,
didthe
usual r
outinebutj ustthisti
mear oundIdi dn't
wearov ersizedclothes.Iwor emyhi ghwaist
ri
ppedf adedbl uejean,awhi t
ev estbutt i
editat
thefronttomakei tacr optop,abl uecap,t
ied
mydeni m shi r
tonmywai standf i
nisheditoff
withaddi dassuper starsneakert henIwas
goodt ogo.It ookmynav yblueslingbagt henI
wentdownst air
s..Dadwasal readygone
becauseasusual IfoundLizzyalreadyeat i
ng.
Herjawdr oppedwhenshesetherey esonme.

Her
:Hol
yMoses!
youl
ook.
..
Jesusoutt
hiswor
ld
hot
..
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Isai
dsi
tt
ingdown.

Her
:sowhoar
ewet
ryi
ngt
oimpr
ess?
Me:i
mp...
?What
?noIai
n'
ttr
yingt
oimpr
ess
nobody
..
Her:
isi
tthepl
anetguy.
..
ummhVenus!
yes
Venus.
.It
shimri
ght?
Me:noandagai
nim nott
ryi
ngt
oimpr
ess
nobody.
.
Her
:ohh.
.sowhatnow?Youguy
sar
edat
ing?
Me:
cany
oupassmet
hesuger
?
Her
:ohhMy.
..
youguy
sar
edef
inat
lydat
ing.
.
Det
ail
s..
.

Il
aughed.
.
Me:
yousoundl
i
keBar
ryandLeahnow.
.
Her:
FYIagi
rlgatt
odowhatshegatt
odosot
o
geti
nfo.
.
Me:
wowFYI?Youal
readyusi
ngsuchwor
ds.
.
t
hewor
ldi
scomingtoanendlol
..
Her
:sooutwi
thi
tgi
rl
..
.

Il
aughed..Suchcrazi
nessear
lyi
nthemorning
surel
ydeservesanOscaraward.
.It
oldher
every
thi
ng.

Her
:ohht
hatwassor
omant
ic.
.
Me:yeah.
.Ij
usthopesnot
hingcomesbet
ween
us.
.
Her:ofcausethere'
sgoingtobethatsomethi
ng
thatwon'trestunti
lyoutwobreakupbutdon'
t
giveitt
hesat i
sfact
ion.
.
Me:
that
swhatIt
endt
odo.
.
Her
:good.
..

Wet
henhear
dacarhoot
er.
.

Me:
ok.
.Iwi
l
lseey
ou.
.
Her
:oksweet
y..
hav
eagr
eatday
Me:
yout
oo.
.

Isaidgrabbingmysl i
ngbagandwalki
ng
outside.Iwalkedoutandfoundhi
mleani
ng
besideshiscar .
..

Hi
m:wow!
youl
ooksohotandBeaut
if
ul.
..
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:t
odayt
heywi
l
lseeal
lmypr
oper
tyt
haty
ou
al
way
shid.
.
Me:
i
twasboundt
ohappenany
time.
.
Hi
m:dontgetmewr
ongbabe.
.I'
mjust
t
err
it
ori
al.
.
Me:
Ihav
enot
iced.
.
Hi
m:sohowwasy
ourni
ght
?

Hesaidpul
l
ingmecl osertohim unt
ilour
bodi
eswereclosel
yagainsteachother.
.
Me:
i
twasok.
..
Hi
m:sowasmi
ne.
.Idr
eamty
ou.
.
Me:
ohhr
eal
l
y?
Hi
m:y
esr
eal
l
y..
andguesswhatIwasdoi
ng.
.
Me:
what
?

Hepull
edmemuchcl oseranddev ouredmy
l
ips,
Iki
ssedbacktr
yingt ocat chuptohi space..
Hishandstr
avel
l
edtomybut tandgrabbedit.
.I
wasstandi
ngonmyt oes,beingshortanddat i
ng
atal
lguysometi
mesi sar eall
ybigproblem..I
pul
l
edoutaf
terawhi
l
e..

Hi
m:t
his
Me:
ohhy
eah?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
ok.
.It
hinkweshoul
dgetgoi
ng.
.
Hi
m:orwecanj
ust
..
-
Me:
dontev
ensayi
t.
.Noonei
sbunki
ngschool
.
.
Hi
m:okMam.
.

Il
etgooffhi
m,get
ti
ngoutofhi
sembr ace.
.
ThenItur
nedtogotot
hepassengersitashe
spankedmyass.
.

Me:
whatt
he?
?

Hei
gnor
edmel
aughi
ngget
ti
ngi
nsi
det
hecar
..I
wentinalsoandst
art
edhest
art
eddr
ivi
ngt
o
school
..

Hi
m:ummhbabeyoudoknowangoi
ngt
oat
ri
p
t
omorr
owri
ght?
Me:
Tri
p?Whatt
ri
p?
Hi
m: ummht her
ugbyTri
p..Thefi
nal..Thefi
nal
matchwon'tbepl
ayedherelocalbutoutsi
de
t
hetown..SotheTi
gersaregoingtopl ayt
here.
.
Me:
ohh.
.Idi
dn'
tknow.
.
Hi
m:It
houghty
ouf
ri
endst
oldy
ou.
.
Me:
no.
.t
heydi
dn'
t.
.
Him:okbuty eahwewil
lbeleavi
ngtomorrow
earl
yi nt
hemor ni
ng.
.Arr
ivi
ngthereatni
ghtthen
wepl ayonWednesday,
comebackonThur sday
..
Arri
veatnightandsoIwill
seeyouonFriday
thenSaturdaywegofortheevent.
Me:
ummhok.
.Goodl
uck
Him:
don'
tbesadbabe.
.Iwi
l
lbebackbef
ore
youknowi
t.
.
Me:
I'
m notsad.
.am happyf
ory
ou.
.

OfcauseIwassad,
Li
kewehavejustst
art
ed
dat
ingandhe'
salr
eadygoi
ngaway..

Me:
Ihopey
ouguy
swi
n..GoTi
ger
sGo!
Hi
m:y
eah.
.wegonnawi
n..
it
samust
..
Me:
yeah.
.

Bythenwewer ealreadyparkedintheschool
pr
emi ses.West eppedoutoft hecar,
assoon
aswest eppedoutIsawJer emiahandother
Venus'sfri
endswal ktowardsus..

Me:
ok.
.IguessIwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
..
Hi
m:y
eahIl
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.

Hepull
edmei nforabr i
efki
ssbefor
el ett
ing
mego..Iheardhi
sf r
iendswhist
leasIwal ked
awaybuttodaymyhear twastooheav ytoeven
payatt
enti
ontotheSt ar
r'
sIwasgetting.As
soonasIgottoclassIfoundLeahsitti
ngonmy
deskasusual.
.Iwentandsatonher s..

Her
:hey
Me:
hi.
.
Her
:whydoyoulookl
ikeaber
eav
ed
per
son.
.whosedead?
Me:
noi
t'
snot
hingbabe.
.

Isai
dgiv
ingherabi
gfakesmi
l
e..
.shesmi
l
ed
back.
.
Her:
ok,
am gladbuti
fyouwannat
alkknowam
al
waysthere..
Me:
Iwi
l
lkeept
hati
nmi
nd.
.
Her
:I
'mreal
l
ysor
ryaboutBr
ad.
.Idi
dn'
tknowhe
woul
dshowup..
Me:
nahi
tsok.
..
he'
sbaeaf
teral
l
..

Shel
aughed.
..
thenst
oppedal
ongway
..

Her:ok,nowam conv
inced.
.What
'swrong?Ican
seesomet hi
ngi
swronganddontsayit
s
nothing..

Isi
ghed.
.

Me:
i
tsVenus,
he'
sgoi
ngaway
..
Her:
ohhthetr
ip.
.l
ookbabey oudonthav
etofeel
sad,
yourl
if
edoesn'trevol
vear
oundVenus'
sass
sowegonnahav efun..Tohel
lwit
hVenus.
.

Wel
aughed.
..
.

Me:
yeah.
.weshoul
dhav
efun.
.
Her:
andt
hatsmygir
l.
.maybewecandoasl
eep
over
..
aty
ourhouseofcause.
.
Me:
that
sagr
eati
dea.
..
Her
:yeah.
.OhhBar
ryi
sher
e..

Ilookedatt
hedoorandIsawher
..
.Shewal
ked
tousandsatonLeah'sdesk.
.

Her
:andwhydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me?
Me:
Itr
iedt
o..
youkeptonpushi
ng.
.
Her
:ohhGod.
.Idi
dn'
treal
i
ze.
.Am r
eal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Me:
i
tsok.
..
Her
:soy
ouguy
sar
eof
fi
cial
l
ydat
ing?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:t
hat
ssocut
e..
Leah:yeah.
.andl
ookwhoseher
e..Thedev
ilj
ust
steppedin.
.

Weal
ltur
nedtol
ookandi
twasAl
i
ce.
.wal
ki
ng
t
owar
dsus..
.Shewal
kedupt
ous.
.

Her
:Gi
rl
s!
Leah:
Ali
ce.
.
Her:
hiKr
is.
.Icanseeyour
eal
l
yhav
egot
ten
usedtot
heschool..
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:ummhy
ougi
rl
snol
ongerf
ri
endswi
thus?
Bar
ry:
andwhywoul
dyousayso?
Her
:ohhy
ouract
ionssayot
herwi
se.
.
Leah:
whatact
ions?
Her:
youguy
snol
ongereatwi
thusorev
ensi
t
wit
hus..
Leah:
ohht
hat
..
Her:
yesthat.
.any
waywewoul
dreal
l
yfory
ou
guystocomeback..
weusedt
obeagood
combinat
ion.
.
Leah:
goodcombi
nat
ionIsee.
.

Bar
ryl
aughed.
..

Al
ice:
wel
lIhopewer
euni
te.
.seey
ouguy
s
ar
oundToodles.
.

Shet
henwal
kedaway
..
.
Me:
ok,
whatj
usthappened?
Leah:okletmeel aboratethistoy ou.
.sot her
eis
apar t
ycalled"TimeoutPar t
y"italway soccur
whenschool scloseandsoonl ysomespeci fic
peoplego..Ifyoudontgeti nv i
teditmeansy ou
arenotwel come..Sosi nceyouar edat inga
Tigercaptainautomaticall
yy ouar ei
nv i
t ed..
Thiswasi nventedbyt heTigers..Soy oucan
i
nv i
teherbasicall
ythat swhyshewant st o
befri
endy ou..
soy ougetherai nvi
tat
ion. .Shes
neverbeent oonet hoseev enus. .
Me:
sowhat
'st
hebi
gdeal
aboutt
hepar
ty?
Bar
ry:
wel
lbasi
cal
l
yit
stocel
ebr
ateschool
time
out
..
Me:
andt
hat
sal
l
?
Leah:
yeah.
.
Me:
andwhenIthoughtt
hisschool
cannotget
muchmor
ecraziert
hanital
readyi
s..
Theyl
aughed.
.

Leah:
ThankGodi
tsourl
asty
earher
ethough.
.
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
.

Soont helessonshadst ar
ted,
thatwhole
morningIdi dn'tseeVenus..ev
enonbr eak.
.I
checkedt het abl
ewer eheusuallysit
sandhe
wasn'tthere..
.Af t
erbreakasIwal kedtomy
nextlessonGeogr aphy.
.IknewIwoul dseehim
ther
e, obviouslybutIrecei
vedat extfr
om hi
m..

"Heybabe,
Ihavebeenbusy ..
wearepract
ici
ng
andIknowitscrazytrustme..
soyouwon'tsee
meI nGeogr
aphy .
.Pleaseski
pThescienceclub
todayandcomet orugby..
wannaspendthelast
fewhourswit
hy ou..
loveyouXO"
Iputmyphonebacki nmybagandwal kedto
theGeogr aphyl esson..AssoonadIgott her
eI
satdownonmysi t..Notseei
ngVenuswas
depr essingt obehonestbutIwast r
yingbyall
meansnott obedepr essedbecauseaf teral
l
myl ifedoesn' trevolvearoundhim..The
l
essonscont inued..Afteral
lofit
,i
twasschool
out..Iwal kedt othesci encecl
ubt oalertBen
thatIwon' tbein..AsIwal kedtherethedoor
wascl osedl i
ket herewasn'tanyonein..AsI
turnedIsawBencomi ngmyway .
.

Me:
hey
..
whyi
sitl
ocked?
Him:
becausei
tsMonday.
.r
emember.
.Wedont
comehereonMondaysandFr
iday
s..
Me:
God.
.If
orget
..Any
wayhowar
eyou?
Hi
m:am good.
.y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
thanks.
.
Hi
m:sowher
etonow?Rugby
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:Yourf
acei
sal
lov
erFacebookand
I
nst
agram.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:yeah.
..
havi
ngVenusasyourboyfr
iend
meansyoubecomeFacebook'
sfavour
ite.
..Let
meshowy ou.
.

Hewentt of
acebookwithhisphoneandVenus
hadmadeourpi cwherewekissedbri
efly
earl
ieronhi
sprofi
l
epictur
e..Am sur
ehis
fr
iendsaret
heoneswhot ookthepic.
.Idi
dn'
t
evenwanttoreadthecomment s.
.

Me:
Wow!
Him:
yeah.
.butany
wayhe'
sluckyt
ohav
e
someonel
ikeyou..
Me:
yeah.
.ummhl
ookIwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.by
e..

Wi t
hthatwepartedways,
Iwal kedtot herugby
groundandtherehewas,alonesitt
edatt he
teracebusyonhisphonewi t
hhi sT-shir
toff.
.
Hewassexy ..
hadnotatoo..Iwalkedt owards
him..Henoti
cedmewhenIwasal ready
standingi
nfrontofhi
m...
.

Hi
m:hey
..
Me:
hi.
.

Isatbesi
deshi
m..

Me:
youguy
sar
eal
readydone?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Imi
ssedy
ou.
.
Me:
met
oo.
..
youguy
sreal
l
ywantt
owi
nIsee.
.
Hi
m:yeah..Imeanthi
smeanssponsor
shi
pfor
ot
herstudents.
.Soweneedt
owi n.
.
Me:
ohh.
.wel
lIbel
i
evey
ouguy
swi
l
lwi
n..
Hi
m:t
hanksbabe.
.any
waywhatdoy
ouwantus
t
odo?
Me:
wel
l
..Idontknow.
.y
out
ell
me.
.
Hi
m:comel
etmet
eachy
ouhowt
opl
ay.
.
Me:
no!
nonono!
!
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dseey
ourf
ace.
.
Me:
am pr
ett
yIknow.
.
Him:y
ouar ebeaut
if
ul.
.Mor
ethanany
thi
ngI
haveeversee.
.
Me:
ok.
.t
hat
sal
i
e..
Him:no,
it
sthetruth.
.Thefi
rstt
imeIsawy ouat
thi
sotherrest
aurant.
.Youbeautykeptpl
ayi
ng
i
nmyheadandwhenIsawy ouinthi
sschoolI
knewIhadt ohaveyou..
Me:
soy
oupr
otect
ingmewaspar
toft
hepl
an?
Him:nobecauseIfel
tsomet
hingforyouIknew
Ihadtoprotecty
ou..
nomaterwhat.
.
Me:
Wow.
.
Hi
m:yeah.
..
Iwil
lonedayt
ell
ourki
dsaboutour
l
ovest
ory.
.i
tscut
e..
Me:
yeahi
tis.
..
Hi
m:oknowl
et'
sgosoIt
eachy
ou.
.

Hesai
dst
andi
ngup.
.

Me:
no.
.Isai
dnoont
hatone.
.f
orgeti
t.
.

Isai
df ol
dingmyarms..Bef
oreIknowi
tIwas
onhisshoulderandhewascarry
ingmeinside
theground..
.Heputmedownoncewewer eon
themiddle..
.
Hi
m:t
ake.
.

Hesaidgivi
ngmet heball
..Themomenthe
handitov
erIstar
tedrunningtowardsthel
i
ne
heoncetoldmetor unto.
.butofcausebef
oreI
coul
dgettherehehadal r
eadygotme..

Me:
what
?Howdi
dyoucat
chupsoqui
ckl
y.
.

Isai
dlaughi
ng.
.

Him:
youwil
lneverknow..
am af
astrunnerand
youontheot
herhandy ouar
esoslow..

Hepi ckedmeupunti
lmylegswer
ewr apped
aroundhiswai
stwit
hbothofusbreat
hing
heavily
..
Him:i
nrugby
..
youneedtobeaf
astr
unnert
o
outr
untheopposi
ti
onteam

Hewhi
sper
ed

Me:
ohhy
eah?
Hi
m:y
es.
..

Iki
ssedhi
m andhekissedback..
itwas
amazi
ng.
.IevenWonderdidn'
thegettir
edof
car
ryi
ngme..
aft
erawhileIpul
ledout.
.

Hi
m:l
et'
sgof
oradr
ive.
.

Hepl
acedmeonhisshoul
derandwewal
kedt
o
hi
scar
..Ther
ewer
esomef ewpeopl
ewhower
e
j
ustlooki
ngatus..Wegottohiscarandhe
pl
acedmei nsi
de.
.Hewentt odriv
erssitandhe
droveout
..Wedrovearoundjustt
alki
nguntil
he
parked2housesbefor
emi ne.
.

Me:
am ser
iousl
ygoi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
.
Hi
m:met
oo.
.
Me:
Iwi
shy
oudi
dn'
thav
etogo.
.
Hi
m:Thi
sist
hel
astgamewewi
l
lbepl
ayi
ng.
.
Me:
ohh.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Ihopey
oubehav
ewhi
l
stam gone.
.
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
.Ial
way
sbehav
e..
Hi
m:good.
.nowgi
vemeaki
ss.
.

Igiggl
edasIleanedt
owardshim andki
ssedhi
s
l
ips..Weki
ssedashecaressedmyt hi
ghs.
.He
pull
edoutaft
erawhil
e..
Hi
m:I
'
m sof
uckedupr
ightnow.
.

Hesai dlooki
ngdownonhi spantsandhewas
hard.Ifyoucouldimaginehowuncomfortabl
eI
got..God..
itwasreal
lyuncomfor
tabl
e..
.andI
guesshenot icedsomehow

Hi
m:dontbeshy
..
thi
sisal
lyour
sbabe.
.
Me:
yeah.
.

Isai
dlooki
ngdown.
.hechuckl
ed.
.

Him:
okIlovey
ou.
.Il
oveyousomuch.
.Iwil
lcal
l
yout
omor r
owwhenIleav
eandal
socallwhenI
l
andther
e..
Me:
ok,
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Ibri
eflybr ushedmul yli
psov erhisbefore
gett
ingoutofhi scarandr ushinghome.WhenI
gottot hegat eIlookedbackandhe' scarwas
sti
l
lint hesameposi ti
on.Iwav edathim before
gett
ingi nsidethehouse. .GodknowsIev enfel
t
l
ikecrying. .WhenIgoti nsideIfoundLizzy
cooking..

Me:
hey
..
Her
:sweet
y..
howwasy
ourday
?
Me:
i
twasok.
.l
etmegoandl
i
edownabi
t.
.
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.

Isai
dgoi
ngupst
air
stomyr
oom.
.

AssoonasIgott
her
eIt
hrewmy
sel
fonmybed
andjustclosedmyey es.
.Iwasdi
stur
bedbymy
phoneringing,
ItookanditwasSam..

Me:
hey
..
Hi
m:ki
d..
Me:
wher
e'smyS8?
Hi
m:i
tscomi
ngdontwor
ry.
.Any
wayhow'
syou?
Me:
am goody
ou?
Hi
m:am ok.
.soIseey
ouhav
edumpedJesus.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
ourboy
fri
endJesus.
.
Me:
noIdi
dn'
t.
.
Hi
m:ohhsoVenusi
sthesi
dedi
sh?
Me:
howdi
dyou.
.-
whot
oldy
ouaboutVenus?
Hi
m:ni
ggataggedy
ouony
ourki
ssi
ngpi
ctur
e
t
oget
her.
.
Me:
ohhh.
.
Hi
m:y
esohhh.
.sot
ell
me.
.wher
e'sJesusnow?
Me:
aii
iJesusdumpedmeaf
terIt
oldhi
m Ihav
e
acr
azybrotherl
i
keyou.
.

Hel
aughedsohar
d..

Hi
m:ohhwow.
.Di
dyout
ell
yourVenusabout
me?
Me:obatl
aat
shaba?
(youwanthi
mtor
un
away?)
Hi
m:osemat
la(
youar
est
upi
d)
Me:
sowher
e'st
heI
ndi
an?
Hi
m:shest
her
e..
Me:good.
.Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndhav
inganI
ndi
an
si
steri
nlaw..
Him:mar
ri
agei
sthelastt
hingonmymi
nd.
.
Anywayhow'
sschool
?
Me:
school
isokhey
..
Hi
m:okay,
sor
easonIcall
edyouisbecause
Al
exaskedmetotel
lyousomethi
ng.
.
Me:
whycoul
dn'
tshetel
lme?Imeanwet
alkon
What
sAppal
mostevery
day.
.
Hi
m:i
tsbecauseshesscar
ed.
Me:
ok,
soundsser
iousbutany
waywhati
sit
?
Hi
m:ummhshesdat
ing.
.
Me:
Wow!
!That
s..
niceIguess.
.Shenev
ert
old
me.
.
Hi
m:i
tget
sbet
ter
,shesdat
ingy
ourf
ri
end.
.
Me:
myf
ri
end?
Hi
m:Tshepang.
.

Il
aughed.
.

Me:
okni
cej
oke.
.
Him:
ser i
ous.
.t
hat
swhyshesscaredt
otel
l
you.
.she'
sdati
ngyourbestf
ri
end.
.
Me:
what
?
Him:
yeah.
.soaget
houghti
twi
l
lbebet
teri
fIt
ell
you.
.
Me:
ohw.
..
Hi
m:oksoy
eah.
.ummhIhav
etogo.
.wewi
l
ltal
k..

Thenhehungup, mymi ndwasf r

ozen..Al
exand
Tshepi e?Wow!Lat erwehaddi nnerbutmy
mi ndwasf araway ..I
mmedi atelywhenIgotto
mybedIsl ept.
..Thenextmor ni
ngIwokeup
feelingmuchmor ebet ter
..Ihadt houghtabout
i
tal l
..Forthepastmont hsev ersinceIcameI
not i
cedhowAl exi salway shappywhenwe
talk..
IguessTshepi ereallymakesherhappy
andI '
m notgoingt ostandbet weenher
happi ness..I'
m notgoi ngt obet hatki
ndof
sister..Thenitallmadesense, t
hetimewhen
Alexsaidshehasaf ri
endwhosedat ingher
si
stersf r
iendmeaningshehadbeent al
ki
ng
abouther sel
f.
.EvenTshepi esaidIknowt he
person..Ididmyusual routi
nebutbef or
eI
couldleav emyroom IcalledAlexthrough
What sApp..Shepickedup. .

Her
:hey
..
.
Me:
hi,
howar
eyou?
Her
:wel
l
..I
..
.I
'
m..
ok

Herv
oicesondedasi
fshesner
vous.
.

Me:lookAlex,
Il
oveyou..y
ouar emysi st
erandI
careaboutyoumor ethanany t
hing.
.Your
happinesscomesfirstt
ome. ..
andifTshepi
e
makesy ouhappythenI'm happy..
Her
:what
?Imean.
.y
ou.
.y
ouappr
ove?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:ohhmyGodIwassoscar
ed.
.It
hought
..
-
Me:Iwil
lref
useorthr
owalegandahal
f?Look
am happyifyouar
ehappy
..
Her
:Il
ovey
ou.
.
Me:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.j
ustdontdot
hingsIwoul
dn'
t
do.
.
Her
:j
eezKr
is.
.Pl
easedontgi
vemet
hesext
alk.
.
Me:
Im goi
ngt
o..
aft
eral
lI'
myourbi
gsi
ster
..
Her
:okok.
.nowtel
lmeaboutt
hehotguyy
ou
wer
ekissi
ng..
Me:
l
eav
eFacebookt
hingsatFacebookwena.
.
Her
:wai
tIj
ustwantt
oknowt
he.
.-
Me:
okIl
ovey
ou.
.by
e

ThenIhungupbef
oregi
vi
ngherachanceto
evenr
espond.
.Imademywayupstai
rsandas
usualLizzywasal
readyeat
ing.
.Iatetoobefor
e
l
eav i
ng,assoonasIgottoschoolIrecei
veda
textfr
om Venus.
.

"
Ihav eleft,
Ihopef orasafejour
ney.
.Ummh
yester
dayIr ealizedy ouforgoty
oudenim shi r
t
i
nmycar ,wellIhav eitwit
hmej usttoremind
meofmypr eciousdi amondIhav el
eftbehind
whichisy ou..Ialreadymi ssyoubabe..
Iwil
l cal
l
whenIl and..Ilovey ouKristi
nMacverdana..
"

Itookadeepbr eat hbeforefacingt hisday

withoutVenus..Itbrokemyhear tthathewasn' t
herebutt henIhavet ogetusedt onothav i
ng
him aroundallthetime..Iwalkedt ocl ass..The
restofthedaywentwel l.
.Itr
iedt ojustputmy
mindi nt
ot hel
essons. .Aft
erschool Iwentt o
thescienceclubandi mmediatelyaf teritIwent
strai
ghthome, t
herewasn' tareasont ost i
ck
aroundinschool any way.
.AssoonasIgot
homeHopingt
ofi
ndLi
zzybutshewasn'
t
i
n..
thought
her
ewasanote.
.

"Wil
lbehomewi t
hy ourdad. .
youcanor dery our
ownf ood"IsighedasIt hr ewmy sel
font he
couch..Istart
edbr owsingt hr
ought he
channels..Justtr
y i
ngtolookf orsomet hingto
watch..Afterawhi l
eofnotf i
ndinganythingto
watchImadeaf rui
tsaladwi thyoghurt.
.Then
wentt omyr oom, l
ayonmybedeat i
ngmyf r
uit
sal
adwhi lstbrowsingonFacebook. .Mypi cture
wit
hVenusr eall
ywentv i
ral.
.Imusthav ef al
len
asl
eepbecausewhenIwokeupmybodywas
shakingindicati
ngsomeonewasshaki ng
me..openingmyey esIfoundLi zzylookingat
me..

Her
:ummhy
ouar
elat
e..
Me:
what
?
Her
:i
tsar
ound9
Me:
shoot
!ohGod.
..
ohMyGod.
.

Isai
djumpingoutofbedandwentt
othe
shower,
tookaqui
ckshowerandwhenIcame
backIfoundLi
zzylaughi
ng.
.

Me:
what
'
sfunny
?Wai
t.
.whyar
enotatwor
k?
Her
:i
tsahol
i
dayt
odayKr
is.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:yeah.
.i
tsahol
i
day
..
Me:
ohht hat
swhyVenusisplayi
ng
t
oday.
.becausei
tsahol
i
day..Idi
dn'
tknow.
.
Her
:yeahIf
igur
ed.
.Youshoul
dhav
eseeny
our
f
ace.
.
Me:
ohGodIwasal
readyscar
ed.
.
Isatdownont
hebed.
.

Her
:am sor
ry.
.Any
waysopl
ans?
Me:
no..
noty
etany
way
..
ummhLi
zzyIwanta
f
avour
..
Her
:okwhati
sit
?
Me:ummhther
e'st
hiseventam goi
ngwit
h
VenusonSat
urday
..SoIwantedyoutoaskdad
tol
etme..
Her
:whenwi
l
lyoubeback.
.
Me:
am sur
ebef
ore2200hr
sIwi
l
lbehome.
.
Her
:ok.
.Iwi
l
lseewhatt
odo.
.
Me:
ohhmyGodt
hanky
ou.
.
Her
:sodoy
ouhav
eanout
fi
tfort
heev
ent
?
Me:
nah.
.butIwi
l
lfi
ndsomet
hingi
nmycl
oset
..
Her
:It
hinkweneedt
ogof
orshoppi
ng.
.
Me:
ok.
.l
etmechange.
.
Iworeabodyhuggi ngmi dthi
ghbl uedress,
wit
h
ablueconversethenfi
nisheditoffwithacap.I
real
lyl
ovewear i
ngacap. .Li
zzyalsowor eamid
thi
ghjeandress,
denim sneakerandf i
nishedi
t
offwit
hcap..

Me:
wel
ookl
i
ket
wins.
.
Her
:beaut
if
ult
wins.
.

Asweweresti
ll
lookingatour
sel
vesonthe
mirr
ormyphonerang.Iwentt
oitandi
twas
Venus.
.

Me:
hey
..
Hi
m:babe.
.I
'
m sorryIcoul
dn'
tcal
ll
astni
ght
..I
wasmadlyti
red.
.
Me:
nahi
t'
sok.
.
Hi
m:ok,
howar
eyou?
Me:
am goody
ou?
Hi
m:I'
m missi
ngyou.
.ummhbabelookIhav
e
t
o..
wil
lcal
lwhenIhaveti
me..Il
oveyou.
.
Me:
Il
ove.
..
-

Andhehadal
readyhungup,
Il
ookedbackat
Li
zzywhowaslooki
ngatme..

Me:
weshoul
dgetgoi
ngr
ight
?
Her
:yeah

Wet ookafewpi csf

orFacebookthenheaded
out.
.WegotinmyLambor ghi
ni.Wedroveto
somef ewmallsanddidsomeshopping,itwas
al
readyalmostlunchti
me..
Me:ummhther
est
hisneckl
aceIsawatt
his
ot
hershop.
.
Her
:okcool
,
youwi
l
lfi
ndmei
nthi
srest
aur
ant
..
Me:
okcool
..

Il
eftherpackingourshoppingbagsintheBoot.
.
Irushedtothatshop,
purchasedtheneckl
ace.
.
WhenIwaswal ki
ngbackt othecarIbumped
i
ntot hi
sgir
lwhowascar ryi
ngtomany
shoppingbagsthattheyevenfel
l.
.

Me:
ohhGodI
'
m sosor
ry.
.

Ihel
pedherpi
ckupt
heshoppi
ngbags.
.

Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Her:
no,i
tsok..
it
smyheadt
hat
'
sal
lov
ert
he
pl
ace..I
'
ml ost.
.
Shesai
dlaughi
ngandIj
oinedher
..

Me:i
tsl
i
fei
thappensbyt
hewayam Kr
ist
inbut
cal
lmeKri
s..
Her:
Mbali
enhl
e..
Mbal
i
enhl
eThul
ane.
.butcal
lme
Enhl
e..
Me:
okEnhl
esowher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Her
:wow!
yousai
dmynameper
fect
ly.
.
Me:
wel
lbecauseI
'
mfr
om Bot
swana.
.
Her:
SA.
.wel
lam goi
ngt
othisr
estaurantbyt
he
nameof.
..
umm TheSmit
h'sIt
hink.
.
Me:
ohh.
.well
youluckyam alsogoi
ngt
her
e..
let
mehel
py ouwit
hy ourbags.
.

West
art
edwal
ki
ngt
other
est
aur
ant
..
Me:
soy
ouschool
her
eorj
ustv
isi
ti
ng?
Her
:wel
lj
ustv
isi
ti
ng.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:j
eezy
ousoBeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
yout
oohey
..

Shegiggled.
.Byt
henwewher
eal
readyneart
he
rest
aurant.
.

Me:
ummhletmeputt
hisnecklaceinmycar
t
henIwal
kyout
otherest
aurant..
Her
:OK.
.butam notexactl
ygoingtot
he
r
est
aurantam goingtothatwhit
eMercedes.
Me:
ok

Wewalkedtomycar
,whenwegottoitI
unl
ockedput
ti
ngmyneckl
acei
nside.
.You
shoul
dhavehear
dthewayshescr eamed.
.For
momentther
eIthoughtshej
ustsawaGhost .
.

Her
:ok.
.t
ell
met
hat
snoty
ourcar
..
Me:
ohht
his,
i
tsmi
ne.
.mydadgav
eitt
ome.
.
Her:
holyJesus!Mybr
othergatt
oseet
his.
.but
youlookyoung..
Me:
yeah.
.am 17t
urni
ng18i
n5day
s..
Her:
wowandy oualreadydri
vi
ngsuchabig
car.
.y
oushouldseethecarIuse.
..Mybr
other
gattoseethi
s..
ummhdoy oumindmetaki
nga
picofyouandyourcarri
ght?
Me:
nahi
tscool
..

Shet
ookbot
hmeandmycarapi
c..

Her
:wow!
yourdadmustbef
il
thyr
ich!
Me:
hei
s..
any
wayl
et'
sgo.
.

Wewal kedtot
hecar
..Assoonaswegotto
thatcarsomewomanwhor esembl
edhergot
out,
nodoubtshewasthemom. .

Her
:ohhmyGodIt
houghty
ouwer
elost
..
Enhl
e:Iwas,
thanksGodf orsendi
ngmet
his
humanangel..
ummhKr i
sthisismymom
I
vy..
mom thi
si sKri
s..
Me:
i
tsni
cet
omeety
ouMam
Her
:ohht
hanky
ouf
orhel
pingmydaught
er.
.
Me:
am gl
adt
ohav
ehel
ped.
.
Her:
youhav
esuchabeaut
iful
hear
tandy
ou
your
sel
fyouar
ebeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Enhl
e:shesreal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.UmmhIwil
lbehere
unti
lSatur
daysohowaboutwehangout
..
giv
e
mey
ournumber
..

Igav
eitt
oher
..

Me:
Idon'
tknow.
.may
bewecandodi
nner
?
Enhl
e:per
fect
..
ummht
omor
row?
Me:
ok,
I
'm game.
.
Enhl
e:ok.
.
Me:
ummhMam i
twasni
cemeet
ingy
ou.
.
Her
:hav
egooddayDar
li
ng.
.

It
henwal
kedawaybutIov
erhear
dthem t
alk.
.

I
vy:
suchabeaut
if
ulcal
m gi
rl
Enhl
e:per
fectf
ory
ourson.
.
TherestIdidn'
thear,
Iwasf ar
.Iwantedto
l
augh..
somepeopl earejustopenmi nded.
.I
walkedint
ot her
estaurantandLizzywas
al
readyeati
ng..

Her
:whatt
ooky
ousol
ong?
Me:
Ihel
pedt
hisot
hergi
rlwhowasl
ost
..
Her
:oh.
.t
hat
'sni
ceofy
ou.
.
Me:y
eah..AndImethermom..
thefewseconds
wetalkedt
heyal
readythi
nkam per
fectf
ort
he
son.
.l
ol

Li
zzyl
aughed.
.

Her:
thewayy
ouar
esobeaut
if
ul.
.Iwoul
dal
so
t
hinkso.
.
Me:
that
scr
azy
..
Her
:i
tst
rue.
.may
bet
hei
rsonwi
l
lbey
ourf
utur
e
husband.
.
Me:
thatwon'
thappenasl
ongasVenusi
sther
e..
Her
:your
eal
l
ylov
ehi
m donty
ou?
Me:morethananyt
hing.
.AndIwon'
tl
etsome
sonoutther
eruinus.
.
.
.
*
**ToBeCont
inued*
**
[
11/26,19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t14
Ther estoft hatnightIlayawakeonmybed
waiti
ngf orVenus'scal lbuthedi dn'tcal
loreven
text
,Iev ent r
iedcall
inghi m butitalway sl
edme
tovoi cemai l
.Iwasabi tdisappointedallI
want edt oknowwasi ftheywonbutseemsl i
ke
otherwi se.Isleptatlast,thenextdayIdi dmy
usual routine.Arri
vi
ngatschool thesameol d
thi
nghappened.I
twasnowaroundbr
eakti
me
andIwassitt
ingwit
hBarr
yandLeahasusual
.

Bar
ry:
Ihear
dtheTi
ger
swon.
.
Me:
theydi
d?
Leah:
yeah.
.i
twasal
lov
erFacebook.
.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tgetonFacebooky
est
erday
..
Barr
y:ohhbutanywayt
heydi
dwinandt
hey
evenhadtheirowncel
ebr
ati
on.
.
Me:
cel
ebr
ati
on?
Bar
ry:
yeah..
theyt
hrewapar
ty.
.l
ikeasmal
l
cel
ebr
ation.
.
Leah:
butt
hepi
ctur
esonFacebookpr
ovedot
her
wise
Me:ohhmaybethatswhyhesphonenev
ergot
t
hroughyest
erday.
.
Leah:
possi
bly
..
Bar
ry:
IsawSamant
hai
noneoft
hepi
ctur
ers.
..
Me:
whoseSamant
ha?
Leah:
ohh..
ummh.
.t
hat
's.
.somegi
rl
..
sheusedt
o
schoolher
e..

Icouldseethewaytheygotuncomfor
tabl
e
i
ndicatedtheywasmoretowhattheywerejust
l
etti
ngon..

Me:comeonguys.
..
youguyscant
ell
me
any
thing.
.Wear
efr
iendsri
ght
?
Bar
ry:
shesanobody
..JustVenus'
scousi
n..
Me:
ohhIguesst
heyhadf
un
Leah:
yeah.
.

Weat eastheytalkedabouttheTi ger

s..Af
ter
breakwewentt ot hel
essons..Theywer et
he
samebutjustfeltabitweir
dwi thoutVenus.I
waspr ett
ysurehewoul dcallaf
terschoolbut
theoppositehappened.Myhear twas
broken,whywasn'thecalli
ng.
..May be
somet hi
ngwaswr ongormay be...
may behe
wasbusybutbusywi thwhat?Iletitgotojust
preventmy sel
ffr
om stressi
ngov ernothi
ng..
May behe'stir
ed.
.

"
Yourmi
ndi
sjustf
araway
"

SaidLi
zzyasIwasweari
ngmyclothes
prepar
ingf
orthedi
nnerwi
thEnhl
e..

Me:
am ok.
.
Her:
youhavebeenstar
ri
ngatthemi
rr
orf
or
somewhilenow..
what'
swrong?
Me:I
'mjustbei
ngpar
anoi
d..That
sall
..
letme
cal
lEnhl
eandhearhowfarsheis.
.
Isai
dtaki
ngmyphonet r
yingt
oavoi
dthe
conver
sat
ion.Ical
l
edherandshepi
ckedaf
tera
whil
e..

Me:
hel
l
o
Her
:hi
,
itsKr
isr
ight
?
Me:
yes,
Iwant
edt
oaskhowf
ary
ouar
e..
Her:
am done.
.wear
emeet
ingatThesmi
ths
r
ight
?
Me:
yeah.
.ummhIwi
l
lseey
oui
n20mi
nut
es?
Her
:yeah
Me:
okby
e..

ThenIhungup.
.Inot
icedLi
zzyl
ooki
ngatme.
.

Her
:Icanseesomet
hingi
sbot
her
ingy
ou.
.
Me:i
tsnothi
ng..Justthat
..
Am worr
iedabout
Venus.
.hehasn'tcal
led.
.whati
fsomethi
ngis
wrong?
Her
:howabouty
out
ryt
ocal
l
?
Me:
Idi
d,i
twon'
tgett
hrough.
.
Her
:wel
lIcan'
tpossi
blygi
veaconcl
usi
on.
.
Maybeyoushoul
djustwait
..
Me:
youar
eser
iousl
ynothel
ping.
.
Her:
looksweet y.
.Ij
ustt
hinkmay beyouar
ejust
str
essingyoursel
ffornothi
ng..Maybehewants
tosurpri
seyouandt hencall
ingyouwouldrui
n
thesurpri
se.
.
Me:
yout
hink?
Her
:yeah.
.nowst
opsul
ki
ngandputont
hat
smi
le..

Il
aughed,may
beIwasjuststr
essingover
not
hing.Iwor
emyblackjean,
blackT-shi
rt
,
bl
ackcapandbl
ackchuckTay
lor
's.ThenIwas
goodt
ogo..

Me:
yout
olddadr
ight
?
Her:
yeah..
butmakesur
etobehomebef
ore
2200hrs.
.
Me:
yeah.
.ummhseey
ou.
..

Isai
dgr
abbi
ngmypaceandcarkey
s..

Me:
seey
ou.
.

Isaidbeforeheadingout,
asIdr ov ethereIwas
playingBey once'
ssi
ngAllNight..Imaysayi t
mademer egainmypeacefulhear t.
.Ijust
blockedVenusoutofmymi ndandj ustf ocused
ont hedinnerthatIwasgoingtohav ewi th
Enhle.Somet imesovert
hinkingt hi
ngswi l
l
causeyoumor
eheadachet
hany
oucoul
dev
er
i
magine..
.
.
VENUS
.
.
Her
:andwhenexact
lyar
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lher
?

I
twasJupi
teronmycase.
.Iwasback.
.

Me:
Jupi
terpl
ease.
.
Her
:WhatVenus?Tel
lhert
ocomeov
er!
Me:
cany
ougi
vemeabr
eak?I
'
mti
red.
.
Her:
Venus..
Whatonear
thi
shappeni
ngt
oyou?
Youruini
ngthepl
anonagi
rly
oudontev
en
l
ove..
Me:I
'm notsosur
eaboutt
hatany
mor
e..Il
ove
her
..
Her:
noyoudont
..
.y
ou..
youjustconf
used.
.
Yeah.
.y
ouareconf
used.
.Youdontloveher.
.y
ou
l
oveSamantha.
.Nother
..
Me:
Ithi
nkweneedt
ost
opal
lthi
s..
Her
:It
hinkIneedtoremindyouwhyweare
doi
ngthis.
.Wearedoingthi
sbecauseTay
lor
Macver
danakill
edourmom. .
Me:
shehadnot
hingt
odowi
thi
t!
..
Her:butherfat
herdi
d..Whyar
eyoubeingl
ike
thi
s..Youpromisedwewoulddot
hisbefor
e
dadandDi anacomesback.
.
Me:
mor
eli
kedadandhi
swi
fe.
.
Her :
l
ookIdon'
tgiveaf uckaboutDiana..
we
talki
ngaboutmom here..y
oucan'tbetrayher
Likethi
s..
youcan'
tlovethedaughteroftheman
whoki l
l
edhercoldbloodedly.
.
Me:
youcal
lDi
ana"
Mom"donty
out
hinkt
hat
s
bet
ray
ingmom?
Her:
i
tsnotthesameandit'
sforkeepi
ngagood
name..Venus.
.Iwast
her
ewhenshegotkil
led.
.
Hekil
ledher.
.

Shesai
dcr
ying.
..

Her
:youdontcar
eany
mor
edoy
ou?
Me:youknowi
dobutki
l
li
ngKr
is.
.i
tsnotan
opt
ion..
Her:Vee.
.y
ouagr eedtotheplan..
Thatwewould
sendsomeonei ntothetoi
lets..
youactal
lhero
sotogethercloset oyou,
pretendyoulov
eher
thenwest r
ike.
.Whenonear thdi dy
oustart
l
ov i
ngher?
Me:Jupiterl
ook.
..Shesnotherdad.
.shes
i
nnocent .
.Shehadnot hi
ngtodowithmom's
death.
.shedoesn'tknowanythi
ng.
.
Her
:Wow!WowVenus!
Me:
Ithi
nkweshoul
dlett
hisgo,
l
ikedadsai
d..
Her:
welli
fyouwanttol etgoyourownMoms
deat
h..
doso..
butasf orme..Iwon'tr
estunti
l
Tayl
orMacverdanafeelsthepainofloosi
ng
someonehetrulyl
oveswi thhi
swholebeing..
Me:
yousoundl
i
kel
i
keaLunat
ic.
.
Her:Lunar?Wow!sosuddenl
yIsoundLi
kea
crazypersonbecauseIwanttodowhat
'sr
ight
formom?Real l
y?
Me:
arey
oudr
inki
ngy
ourpi
l
lsJupi
ter
?
Her
:whywoul
dist
op?
Me:thewayy ouact
ing.
.Youknowi tsver
y
dangerousforyounottotakeyourpil
l
sJupit
er.
.
Il
ovey ousomuch..youaremysi st
er.
.Bi
pol
ar
canbev er
ydangerous..Rememberwhat
happenedthelastt
ime..
Her
:I
'm notsi
ck!
Shey
ell
ed.
.

Her
:I
'm goi
ngtodowhat
'sr
ightf
ormom..
andI
hav
eexactl
ytheper
sontohelpmedosoi
fyou
won'
t.
.
Me:
andwhoset
hat
?
Her
:someonewhoonceki
dnappedher
..
Anv
il
.
Me:
Anv
il
?whoset
hat
?
Her
:t
heguywhoonceki
dnappedher
..
hewant
s
t
ohelp.
.
Me:howdidy ouevenfindhi
m?LookJupi
terif
youhurtasinglehai
rinherheady
ouaregoing
towishthenightmom diedyoudi
edal
ongwi t
h
her
..
Her
:i
sthatt
hreat
?
Me:youwoul
dknowifItwaswon'ty
ou?Now
youandyourAnv
ilwi
l
lbackofforel
seIswear
t
oGodJupi
ter
..Youwon'
tl
ikewhatwi
l
lhappen.
.

Isaidbef orewal kingoutt omycar .

.Ihadt o
fi
ndherbef or eJupi terdoes. ..Ifany thingmy
sisterdoesn' tbluff..i
fshesethermi ndt o
somet hingshewi lldef i
natlydoi t..
Itookmy
phoneandt r
iedCal lingKr isbutherphonej ust
rangunanswer ed..Shi twasaboutt odown. .real
bad.Iev enwonderwhyIhadagr eedt ot he
ri
dicul ouspl anatf irst,yesf i
rstitwasal lpartof
thepl anbutal ongwayIst artedl oving
Kris..may benotev er ythingImi ghthav etoldher
onhowIf eelwasn' tt rue..
may bet hel akething
andt hewhol eideal ofkeepi nghersaf ewasa
l
iebutt henal lIknowi sIr eal
lydof eel
somet hingf orher ..Thatonei strue.Idof eel
badf orplay i
ngherl i
ket hat,
sheal soseemed
desper ateeitherwaybutt henagai nIpl ayed
her..andnowIhav easi steront helose. .Shi
t
wasaboutt ohi tthef an
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Igott
other
est
aur
antandIf
oundEnhl
eal
ready
i
n..

Me:
hey
..
am sor
ryam l
ate.
.
Her
:hey
..
wowy
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
sodoy
ou.
.

ShewasWear i
ngaaf or
malhighwai
stwhite
Pencil
ski
rt,
awhitecroptopandwit
hhill
s..She
real
l
ylookedbeauti
ful.
.
Her
:di
dIov
erdr
ess?
Me:
no,
youl
ookspl
endi
d.
Shesmi
l
ed

Her
:sohowar
eyou?

Sheaskedaswesatdown.
.

Me:
wel
li
'm goody
ou?
Her
:I
'm ok.
.
Me:
sohowar
eyouf
indi
ngLA
Her:
Ilov
eit
..
somanyshopswit
hbeauti
ful
cl
othes.
.If
eell
i
keshoppi
ngthewhol
etown..

Wel
aughed.
.

Me:
wel
lIcanr
elat
e..
Her
:sohowl
onghav
eyoubeenher
e?
Me:
afewmont
hs.
.
Her
:wow!ok..SoSadam goi
ngbackon
Sat
urday
..Idowishtost
ayabitl
onger
..
Me:
what
'
sst
oppi
ngy
ou?
Her
:mymom onl
ybudget
edf
oraweek.
.
Me:
that
ssad.
.
Her
:yeah.
.t
ell
meabouti
t.
.
Me:
sowhatdi
dyourbr
othersay
?

Iaskedt
ryi
ngt
oknowandcheckwhatexact
ly
shewasthi
nki
ngaboutmeandherbr
other
..

Her:
Isenthimthepi
conAppandsur pri
singl
y
hedidn'
trepl
y.
.Myconclusi
onisthathedoesn't
evenwantmet othi
nkaboutit
..
niggaisso
st
ingy.
.
Il
aughed.
.

Me:
youwi
l
lbef
ine.
.
Her
:Idoubt
..
so.
.-

Shewasdi
stur
bedbyherphoner
ingi
ng.
.

Her
:speaki
ngoft
hedev
il
..

Shesai
danswer
ing.
.Iguessi
twast
hebr
other
..
Shedidn'
tev
ensayawordbutherf
aci
al
expr
essiont
oldmesomet
hingiswr
ong.She
hungup..

Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Her
:I
..
.ummh.
.If
orgotmy
..
.ummh.
.my
mom..she.
.ummh. .
sheneeds
hel
p..
she..
she.
.shessi
ckatthehot
el.
.
Me:
ohht
hat
'sbad.
.
Her
:yes.
.ummhcany
ou.-
Me:
ofcause.
.l
et'
sgo.
.
Wewal kedoutsidet omycar,hermindseemed
al
lovertheplace..Shedirect
edmet ot
hehotel
butshewasconst antl
ylooki
ngattherevi
ew
mirr
orli
kesomeonewasf oll
owingher.
.

Me:
arey
ouok?
Her
:yeah.
.

Shesi ghed.
..Wegott othehotel.
.Wehur ri
ed
i
nsidet otheroom andget t
ingther
eIgott he
biggestshockofmyl ife.Mymi ndstart
ed
racing.Whatwasgoi ngon?Myhear tbeatwas
beat i
ngfast
..Il
ookedathi m backi
ngaway ..
to
t
hedoor
..Ihadt
ogetoutofher
e..

Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngonher
e?
Enhl
e:Bandi
l
ewhosei
ndanger
?

Hejustl ookedatme, andall

Isawwast he
monst erwhoki dnappedme, shockmewith
Elet
rici
ty..That
sallIsaw..Ifeltt
ear
srol
l.
.t
his
couldn'tbehappeningnotagai n.
.

Hi
m:noonei
sgoi
ngt
ohur
tyou.
.
Me:
Iwantt
oleav
e..
Hi
m:i
tsdanger
ousoutt
her
e..
Me:
theonl
ydangerher
eisy
ou!

Isaidget
ti
ngt
hedoorandthemomentI
touchedt
hedoorhandl
ehealr
eadyhadhi
s
handsonme, Iwantedtoscream butsuddenl yI
l
ostmyv oi
ce,hewasgoi ngtoki
llmeandt hi
s
ti
mehewasn' tgoingtostopatany t
hing..He
shutmymout hwithhishandast ears
str
eamed..
"Godpleasehelpme. .Ican'tdie,not
l
ikethi
satleast"

Hi
m:Idon'
twantt
ohur ty
ou.
.buty
ourboy
fri
end
mi
ghthaveamotive.
.

Enhl
e:y
ouguy
sknoweachot
her
?
Hi
m:t
hisi
snott
het
imeEnhl
e,l
ockt
hedoor
s..

HecommandedEnhlewhoqui
ckl
ywentt
othe
doorandl
ockedi
t.
.

Her
:what
'sgoi
ngon?Wher
esmom?
Hi
m:sheshasbeent
ransf
err
edt
oanot
her
r
oom,
dontwor
ryabouther
..
shesok.
.
Her
:isi
toneofy
ourenemi
es?
Hi
m:no.
.butherf
ather
's.
.

IwantedyoScream y
ouar el
yingy
ouscumbag
buthe'shandwassti
llonmymout h.
.Pr
obabl
y
avoi
dingsomedr amaifIscr
eam..

Him:l
ookKris.
.t
histimeam nottheonewho
wantstohurtyou.
.thegoalposthave
changed.
.i
tsyourboy f
ri
endandhissister.
.
Apparent
lyyourdadaccidental
l
ykill
edtheir
mom byacar .
.sotheyareoutforrevenge.
.

Hefinal
l
yremovedhi
shandf r
om mymouth.
.I
knowVenuswouldneverhur
tme,helov
esme
butwhatwoul
dBandil
egainfrom l
yi
ngtome?
Me:
youar
ely
ing.
.You-
Hi
m:cal
lhi
m..
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:CALLHI
M!
Me:
whatpossi
blyt
ell
syouIwi
l
ldoasy
ousay
?
Hi
m:i
nor
derf
ory
out
oknowt
het
rut
hcal
lhi
m..

Istoodtherenotknowi ngwhatt odo..Icould

senseahear t
breakcomi ng..Icouldfeel i
t..
my
heartwasbeat i
ngf astnotbecauseIwas
scaredofBandilebutmor ebecauseIwas
scaredofwhati fi
t'
st rue..Thenal lt
hel ovehe
cl
aimedwoul dhav ebeenal ie..Icoul
dsensea
storm ofhear
tbreakcomeandi twasgoi ngto
crushmer ealbad.Iwasn' tgoingt osurvivethi
s
onebutwhati fhe'slyi
ng?Whati fbothheand
hissist
ersetmeup
Hi
m:goahead,cal
lhi
m..
andj
ustsay"Iknow
ev
ery
thi
ng.
."Thenthi
swil
lpr
oveifam l
yingor
not
..

Ilookedathi m,thi
sist
hesameguywhohur t
me. .Whywashedoi ngthi
s..
Idi
dn'tknowwhat
tobel i
eve.
..Itookmyphonewhi l
elookingat
him. .
dial
edVenus'snumberandputt hephone
onmyearwi t
hshakinghands.Hepickedup
afterawhi l
e..

Hi
m:hey
,Ihav
ebeent
ryi
ngt
ogethol
dofy
ou

Isobadwant edt
oaskquestionsli
keareyou
ok?didyouguyswin?Isobadwantedt ohear
sayhel ovesmebutwhati
fthelastti
mewas
thelastti
meIheardit
?

Me:Iknowever
ythi
ngVenus.
.Iknowabouty
ou
andyoursi
ster
..
Hi
m:babe.
.
Me:
Iknow!

Iyel
led,Isoundedst upi
d.Ipromisedtofi
ghtfor
ourrelat
ionshipbuthereIwasl i
steni
ngtomy
worstnightmar e,
theguywhot urnedmylif
e
upsi
dedown. .Iwait
edforhisresponseholdi
ng
mybr eath..

Him:lookbabeIcanexpl ai
n.Wher ear
ey ou?
Thiswasabi gmi stake..AndoutofallofitI
l
ovey ouKris,
Ir eall
ydoIknowi tdoesn'tseem
sobutIdo. ..yourfat herkil
l
ingmymom hur t
Jupitermor et hanany t
hingsoSheaoutf or
revenge..Sheaskedf ormyhel pandbecause
shesmysi sterIhadt ohelpher .
..
butt
hatwas
beforeImety ou...YesIpr etendedtoloveyou
butIr eal
lydonow. .i
-
Icuthi
m shor
t.
.

Me:
you.
..
youpr
etended?
Hi
m:Ipret
endedt
olov
eyoub.
.-
ohhshi
t!
you
di
dn'
tknow..
Me:
youpr
etended.
..
you.
..
youdontl
oveme.
.y
ou.
.
Hi
m:babel
i
sten.
.

Byt henIhadl etthephoneslidont hef loor,

the
whol ewor ldstopped, myheartbr okeint o
smal lerpiecesIcouldn'tevenbr i
ngtof ix..
Ilet
putacr y
..Whydi dall
thepainlikeme. .
couldn'tI
havepeace?Whydi dhurtl
ikefollowingme?I
foundmy selfcr yi
nginBandil
esar ms, Ireall
y
didn'tcare..
.i
tal lwasjustt
oomuchf orme, Idid
wisht odie..Ev enthoughmeandVenushad
onlybeent ogetherforadewday sbutIdi dlove
him..andheusedmyl ovet
ohi sownadv antage.
.
Ididn'tunder standwhyhewoul dwannahur t
me..
Ididn'
tki
l
lhismom..Icri
edunti
lIcoul
dfeel
Iwasrunni
ngourofbr
eath..I
ttooksomewhile
tocal
m down..

Me:
I.
..
Iwannagohome.
.

Isai
dmor
eli
kewhi
sper
ed.
.

Hi
m:Idontt
hinkit
sagoodidea,
Imeany
our
ki
l
ler
saresti
llonthel
ose.
.
Enhl
e:Idontkowwhat'sgoi
ngonbutIagr
ee
wit
hBandi l
e..
Kri
syou-
Me:
Ij
ustwannago.
.

Imanagedtosaywi t
htearsst
reaming..
.Aft
era
whi
leBandi
ledecidedtodropmewi thhiscar
whi
leminefoll
owedwi t
hthisotherguywho
wassupposedlyadri
ver.
.Hedroppedmeat
home,themomentt hecarstoppedIgotoffand
gotinsi
det hehouse, hur
ri
edt omyroom and
l
ockedt hedoor .Iwasn'treal
lyi
nthemoodf or
companysoIj ustlayonmyf l
oorasIcri
edmy
eyesout .
.wil
lIeverbehappy ?wil
lIeverl
i
vea
normal happy,peacefull
if
e?
.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

Guy
sther
e'snoEl
etr
ici
tysoam t
ryi
ngt
osav
e
mybat
ter
y..
Sothi
sf ol
l
owing2weeksIwi llbebusywi th
Examssomeani ngIwillbescarce.
.Iwill
post
whenIcanbutIwi l
lmakesur eit
sal onginser
t
sotomakeup. .
Ifnotduri
ngtheweekt hen
possi
blyweekendsbutassoonasam done
wit
hexams. .
.i
t'
sahol i
daysomeani nginsert
ev
ery
day
..
Lov
eyal
l
[
11/26,19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t15
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Nev erinmyl i
fehav eIev erthoughtt hatIwoul d
got hroughsuchpai n,neverinmyl i
fehav eI
everthoughtmyl i
fewoul dt urnoutl i
ket his.
Cryinghassuddenl ybecomemybestf ri
end
becausei tseemst hat '
sallIdol atel
y .Ithought
Venusl ovedme,IthoughtIsawt hel ovehehad
formei nhiseyesbutIguesshe' sav erygood
actorf orIbel
ievedeachandev erywor dhesaid.
Itwassohar dtodi gestthathedi dn'tlov eme
butwhatIknewwast hatInev erwantt osee
him.Itallfeltli
keani ghtmare,allt
hathehad
toldmewasnowj ustuselesswor dst ome
whi chdidn'tmeanany t
hingtomeany mor eand
i
tbr okemyhear tintosmal l
erpieces.Itwas
alreadyonSat urdayandal lIeverdi dwasj ust
sleeponmybed. .Ididn'
tgot oschool y est
erday
,
Ididn'twantt oseehi m..Iwassi t
tingwi thLeah,
Itoldheral lthathappened. .Icouldn'ttell
Tshepi e.
.Idon' twantt ostresshim mor e..

Leah:
andunti
lwhenarey ougoi
ngtoli
eonthat
bedandcry?
Soony ourdadisgoi
ngtoknow
somethi
ngiswrong..

Ihadtol
dmydadi
tsperi
odpai
ns,
didn'
tar
gue
thatmuchwi
thmeonit
..

Her:
cry
ingandl
y i
ngonyourbeddoi
ng
pr
acti
call
ynot
hingisnotgoi
ngtohel
pyoubut
i
tsgoi
ngt
omakey
ouwor
se.
.
Me:
Ij
ustwantt
osl
eep.
.
Her:youaregoingt owakeup, bathandwear e
goingtogoout .Wear enotgoi ngtoletalow
l
if
el i
keVenusder ailourl
ives..
lookKri
she
doesn'tdeser
vey ourtear
s.Hi m andhiscr
azy
si
stertheycanall gotohell!Andbesidesyou
aretoobeautif
ultobehur tbyamer eguyl
ike
Venus..
Me:
Ireal
l
ydon'
tfeel
beaut
if
ulr
ightnow.
.
Her
:yeahbuti
twi
l
lbebet
teraf
tery
oubat
h..

Shesaidpulli
ngmet ot hebathroom.
.Assoon
asIgottothebat hr
oom Ist r
ippedmypy j
amas
offthenwentunderthehotshowerasIl ettears
fal
l.NomatterhowmuchIt r
iednott
ocr y,
no
mat t
erhowmuchIt r
iedtobebr avebutthi
s
hurtmorethanany t
hing..
..Heusedmyl oveto
hisownadv antage.
.WasIt hatmuchdesper at
e
thatIcouldn'
tevenseet hel i
esinhiseyes?Was
Ithatmucht ooblindnottoseei t?Itook
roughlyabout20mi nutesundert heshowerj ust
stressi
ngmymi nd. .
thenaf t
erthatIbathed.
Afterbathi
ngIwal kedoutwi thatowel wrapped
aroundmybody ...Surpri
singlyLeahwasst il
l
seatedonmybed.

Her
:atl
ast
..
dressup,
wear
egoi
ngsomewher
e..
Me:
Leahpl
ease.
.
Her
:nopl
easedr
essup.
.wedon'
thav
eal
lday
..

Shewasn'tbackingandIknewthatt
oowel l
.I
wenttomycl osetandtookoutanover
sizedT-
shi
rtandanov ersi
zedj
ean..

Leah:
youain'twear
ingthat,
eventhoughyou
al
way slooksexyandallbutther
e'snowayyou
aregoingtowearthat.
.
Shesai dcomingtomycl oset.Afterawhil
eI
wasdr essedinaonear ml acyj umpsuit
.
Thoughi twasLacybuti twasn' tasee
through,t
heonlyaseet hroughwasonmywai st
.
Shedi dn'
tdomuchonmyhai r,
j
ustsprayedit.
Sheputdar kpurpleli
psti
ckonmyl i
ps,
painted
mynai lspurpl
e.Shemademewearpeept oe
Gucci hi
ll
sandf i
nishi
ngitof fwithapace..Idid
l
ookbeaut if
ulbutitwasn'twhatIwoul d
probablywearonmyown. .

Me:
Wow!
Her
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.Andnowwegoodt
ogo.
.

Shesai
dpull
i
ngmebymyar m,
wewent
downst
air
swereIf
oundLi
zzywai
ti
ng.
.

Li
zzy
:Wow!
Me:
howdoIl
ook?
Her:
sobeauti
ful
.
.ThanksLeahf
orget
ti
ngher
outofherownpri
son.
.
Leah:
that
'swhatf
ri
endsar
efor
..
Li
zzy
:yeah.
.ummhIwi
l
lseey
ouguy
slat
ert
hen.
..
Leah:
yeah.
.
Me:
bye.
.

Wewentt oLeah'scar.Shewaspl
ayi
nggood
l
ifebyKehl aniandG-Eazy.
.Weweresi
lentand
theonlythingthatmadenoisewastheradio
andhersingi ngal
ong..Wedrovet
othi
sot her
buil
ding.
.

Me:
wher
ear
ewe?
Her
:comel
et'
sgeti
n..
Shesaidget
ti
ngoutoft
hecar
..If
oll
owedher
i
nside.
.

Me:
what
'
sthi
spl
ace?

Iaskedasshewasalreadyknockingonsome
door,
avoicei
nstr
uct
edust ocomei n.The
momentwegoti nIsawawomanwhol ooked
l
ikeanolderv
ersi
onofLeah..Iguessshewas
themom. .

Her
:youguy
scame.
.

Shesai
dasshest
oodupandwal
kedupt
ous.
.

Leah:
yesummhmom t
hisi
smyfri
endKr
isand
Kri
smeetmymom Jul
i
anMackenzi
e
Me:
i
tsni
cet
omeety
ouMr
sMackenzi
e..
Her:
thepleasur
eisal
lmi
ne,
Leahal
way
stal
k
aboutyou..
Me:
goodt
hingsIhope.
.
Her
:ofcause.
.
Leah:ummhKr i
smymom i sather
apistanda
soci
al workersoIbroughty
ouheretodayasa
cari
ngf r
iendsoy oucantal
ktosomeonebefore
dri
vi
ngy ourselfcr
azy.
.

Ijustlookedather,Idi
dn'tneedashri
nkal lI
want edwast ojustbealoneandhandlet hi
smy
way .YesIwasmad, madbecauseIdidn'twant
toacceptt hefactthatIwasheart
broken, mad
ov erthefactt
hatIhadt odragLeahandher
mom i nt
omymess. .

Leah:
hey
..
don'tcry.
.Ididt
hisbecauseIfel
tit
wasti
mey outalkedtosomeone. .Buti
tsokif
youdon'
tfeel
comf ortabl
e
Me:
no.
.Thanky
ouf
ordoi
ngt
his.
.

Iwipedmytear
sthatIdi
dn'
treal
i
zewer
e
st
reaming.
.

Me:t
hanky oufordoi
ngthis.
.Ihav
ebeentel
l
ing
myselfIcanhandlet
hisbutguessIcoul
dn'
t.
..

Shehuggedme.
..

Her
:Iwi
l
lwai
tfory
oui
nthecar
..
Me:
ok

Shet
henwal
kedoutl
eav
ingmewi
thhermom.
.

Her
:ummhy
oucansi
tKr
is.
.
Isatdown.
..

Her:pl
easedontf eelscar
ed,considermeasa
pref
essionaltherapi
stnotLeah'smom and
keepinmi ndthatwhat ev
erwedi scussher
ewi
ll
bekeptonl ybetweenus,itwi
llst
ayonly
betweenus. .

Inodded.
..

Her
:ok.
.nowwearegoi
ngtost
artbyy
out
ell
i
ng
meaboutyoury
oursel
f.
.

Atfi
rstitwashardbutasIgotmor e
comfortabl
ewithherIl
etitallout.
.Tol
dher
abouthowIconstantl
yfeltoutofplaceat
school,
howital
way saf
fectedme, how
sometimesIwishedIwasbl ack..
howI
sometimeswishedtojusthavenor malbr
own
eyes.Itol
dheraboutTshepi
e,myf
ri
endshi
p
withhim eversi
ncef
orm 1,
myfami
ly,
Bandi
l
e
andVenus..

Her:
didy
ougetoverwhathappenedbet
ween
youandBandi
l
e,di
dyougetovertheki
dnappi
ng?
Me:IthoughtIcoul
dmoveon,It
houghtIwasn'
t
goingtostopmyl i
fewhi
l
ehisconti
nuedsoI
pretendedever
ythi
ngwasfi
nejustsotomove
i
npasti t.
.
Her
:howdi
dyouf
eel
wheny
ousawHi
m af
ew
day
sago?
Me:al
lthepai
nIhadbeentry
ingtobur
rydeep
wi
thinmecameback,al
ltheanger.
.
Her:
andVenus?Doy
out
hinky
ouwi
l
lev
er
f
orgi
vehim?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
..
hehur
tmebey
ondmeasur
e..
.
Her
:ok.
.ummhwewil
ldothi
sagai
nnextweek
Sat
urdaysamet
ime.
.f
ort
odaywearedone.
.
Me:but
..
..
ain'
tyousupposedt
o..
Idon'
t
know..
hel
pmet oknowwhattodo?

Shesof
tl
yLaughed.
.

Her:Ican'texactlytel
lyouwhatt odo, y ouar e
theonl yonewhoknowswhatt odo. .I'm onl y
goingt ohelpy oudeal wit
hy ourpr oblems. ..
Likeforexampl eIhavepickedupt hef actt hat
youhol dont oomuchonnegat iveener gy,you
holdtoomanygr udgesandnotbecausey ou
can'tforgiveandl etgobutbecausey oudon' t
wantt o..Iwanty outogohome, relaxandwhen
youcomebackIwanty outoanswert hi s
questionf orme. .I
sitreal
lywor t
hi t.
.Ist he
angerandpai ny oucausey ourselfreallywor th
i
t..

Af
terawhi
l
eIwaswal
ki
ngbackt
othecarand
MrsMackenzi
e'
squesti
onwasstuckinmy
mind.
.Get
ti
ngtothecarIgoti
nandjustl
ay
back.
.

Leah:
and?Howdi
ditgo?
Me:
nott
hewayIexpect
edi
ttobutok.
.
Her
:am gl
ady
ouar
emaki
ngpr
ogr
ess.
.
Me:
yeah.
.met
oo.
.
Her
:ummhI'
m sohungr
yri
ghtnow,
howabout
wegoforl
unch.
.
Me:
yeah.
.

Shedr
oveustosomerestaur
ant
.Weor
der
ed
andj
ustwai
tedf
orourorder.
.

Her
:sowhatar
eyourpl
ansf
ort
hehol
i
day
?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngf
orsomeTr
ipwi
thdad.
.hesay
s
hewant
stodosomef
ather
-daught
erbondi
ng.
.
Her
:wow!
Iwi
shmydadcandot
hatt
oo.
.
Me:
i
shet
hatst
ri
ct?
Her:
bey
ondbutIguessit
sbecausehel
ovesme
andwantwhat
'sbestf
orme..
Me:
yeah.
..
whatabouty
ou?
Her
:wel
lnot
hingmuch.
..
Me:
nowIwi shyoucoul
djoi
nus.
.mat
teroff
act
whydon'
tyoujoi
nus?
Her
:andr
uint
hef
ather
-daught
erbondi
ng?No.
.
Me:comeon..
Iwil
lspendtimewi thmydadand
al
sowi t
hyou.
.Ican'
tpossiblysayal
lthe
hol
idaywewil
lbestil
lbonding..
Her
:Iwi
llt
alkt
omypar
ent
sandseei
ftheycan
l
etme..

Befor
eIcoul
dtalkf
urt
herIgott
ongueti
edby
Venuswholookedst
rai
ghti
nmydi r
ect
ion.
.He
wal
kedt
owar
dsusl
ooki
nggoodasal
way
s..

Hi
m:hi
Leah,
Kri
scanwet
alk?
Leah:
shedoesn'
twantt
otal
k..
Hi
m:Leahpl
ease.
.
Leah:whydon'
tyoujustgo?youwanttokil
lher
l
ikeyourli
tt
lepl
an?IthinkIshoul
dcallt
he
poli
ce,wecan'
thaveaki l
l
erinourpr
esence.
.

Venuslookedatmewi
thpleadi
ngeyeswhi
l
ein
theot
herhandLeahwasfumingwit
hanger
..

Me:
Leah.
.
Her:
Kri
sthi
sguyhashur
ty ou,hedoesn't
deser
veevental
ki
ngtoyou,he'sdangerto
you.
.whoknowshismot
ive?
Shewasr i
ghtbutontheotherhandIwant
edt
o
hearVenus'
sexplanat
ion.
.DeepdownIwasst
il
l
hopingt
hisisabigmisunderst
andi
ng.
.

Me:
ifam notbacki
n5mi
nut
est
hencal
lthe
Pol
i
ce..
Her:am count
ing,
andify
oudarehur
theryou
wil
lwishyourmom abort
edyouwhil
eshe
coul
d..

Shesaidlooki
ngatVenus,ImustsayIhav e
neverseenthi
ssideofLeah..Iwalkedoutwit
h
Venusandwest oodinfr
ontoft herest
aurant
..

Him:
Iknowr i
ghtnowyouv iewmeasamonst er
andIunderst
and.Yesatfir
stitwasall
aplan
andpret
encebutthenalongwayIstartedto
l
oveyou,t
ocareaboutyou..Yourfat
her
acci
dent
all
yranonmymom af ewyearsago
andshewaswi thJupiterbythen...Idon't
exact
lyknowwhathappenedbutJupi terdoes
becauseshewast herewheni thappenedandi t
aff
ectedhermor ethananyonebecauseshe
wantedyourFat hertogot oJailbuty our
fat
her'
slawy ersprovedotherwise.Thef i
rst
ti
mewemetIhadn' tknownbyt henIonl yknew
aft
erJupitertol
dmeabouty ou..Kr i
sIlov eyou
somuch, Iknowmay beyoudon' tbeli
ev emebut
babeplease..
Me:youliedtome,morethanonce..y
ouhurt
me..
y oubrokemyheart..
.Idon'
tthi
nkther
ecan
beusev erbecausewhoknowsmay bethi
sisa
pl
any ouplannedwit
hy oursist
ersotogetback
wit
hmet henstr
ikewhenI '
m al
lrel
axed.
.
Him:Kri
s..
..
Jupit
erisatthehospit
al..Youcan
checkI'
m notlyi
ng..Shehasbipolarandshe
wasn'tdri
nki
ngherpi l
lssoshe'
satt hehospital
..
Thisisnotaplan..Thi
sisthetr
uth..Ilov
ey ou..
I
wil
ldoany t
hingjusttoprovet
hat.
.
Il
ookedathi
m caref
ull
y..Hedidl
ooksincer
e
butt
henthat
'swhatIthoughtatf
ir
st.
..

Me:
I'
m sor
rybut
..
-
Him:Kri
sti
nplease..Youar etheonlyper
son
whoIhav eeverlovedlikethis,
beggi
nggir
lsis
notmyt hi
ngbutt odayI'm goingtobeg
becauseIlov
ey ou...Youar etheonl
yoneIlove.
.

Hekneeleddownbefor
emedr awing
unnecessar
yatt
ent
ionthatIdi
dn'
twant
..

Me:
Venus.
.whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
standup.
.
Him:youaretheonlygoodthi
ngthathasev
er
happenedtome..IknowImessedupbi gti
me
butbabeallI
'
m askingisforonel
ast
chance.
.pl
easeKris.
.
Icouldseehi
seyeswerealr
eadyred.
.Icoul
d
seehewassincerebuti
tdoesn'
tchange
anythi
ng..

Me:
Ineedspace.
.al
lofi
tist
oomuch.
.i
ts.
.-

Hest
oodup.
.

Him:i
fspacei swhatyouwantthenIwi
l
lgive
youspace..butpl
easepromi
semewewi ll
make
uswor k.
..
youwi l
lgi
veusonelast
chance..
.pl
ease..

Hewasaski
ngfort
oomuchandev enthough
hel
ookedsi
ncer
ebutIj
ustcoul
dn'
tany
mor e.
..
.

Hecamecl
osert
omeunt
ilIcoul
dfeel
his
breat
hagainstmyl i
ps..Ashewasst i
llt
her
eI
hadsomeonecal lmynamet hatIst
eppedback
andsurpri
singl
yitwasEnhlewhost oodinfr
ont
ofthi
scarandwi thBandil
eleaningagai
nsti
t.
..
Hewasl ookingstr
aightatus..

Venus:
whoset
hat
?

HeaskedasEnhl
ewal
kedupt
ous.
.

Me:
she'
saf
ri
end
Hi
m:canIseey
out
omor
rowi
fpossi
ble?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
..
butIt
hinki
twi
l
lbebesti
fnot
..
.

Isai
dwhi
l
eEnhl
eappr
oachedus.
.

Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
l
..
Hesai
dwalki
ngawayhurtandeventhoughI
wasunsur
eabouthi
m andIbuthi
m sadhurt
me.
.

Enhl
e:hey
..
Wow!youl
ooksobeautif
uland
sexy
..
allmeati
nther
ightpl
aces.
.

Il
aughed.
..

Me:
hey
..
Her:
Idon'
tknowwhathappenedbet
weeny ou
andBandi
lebutyoushoul
dknowIdidn'
tknow
youguyskneweachother
..

Me:
no.
.i
tsok.
..
Her
:Iwoul
dli
keust
ost
ayf
ri
ends.
.
Me:
Iwoul
dal
sol
i
ket
hat
..
Her
:f
ri
endsIguess.
.

Shesai
dhuggi
ngme.
..

Her
:yeahsoI
'
m goi
ngbackhomet
oday
..
Me:
ohw.
..
that
'ssad.
.
Her:
yeah.
.Iwi
shIdi
dn'
thav
etogobutl
i
fei
s
whatiti
s..
Me:
ok,
Ihopey
oucal
l
..
Her:defi
nit
ely .
.Youknowf oramomentt hereI
hadt hi
sper fectthoughtofyouandmybr other
butaf t
erIsawhowy ougotscaredwheny ou
sawhi m Ijustthrewtheideaoutthr
ought he
window. .
Me:
am gl
ady
oudi
d..
Shel
aughed.
..

Her
:yeah.
.ummhwewi
l
ltal
kri
ght
?
Me:
yeahandhav
easaf
ejour
ney
..
Her
:yeah.
.

Wehuggedonel astti
mebef or
esherushedto
thecar
..Istoodt
herelooki
ngatherandwaved
heronelastti
mebeforeshegotinsi
dethecar
..

OncetheyweregoneIwentbackinsi
dethe
r
estaurant
..If
oundLeahal
readyeati
ng.
..

Her
:andwhowast
hatgi
rl
?
Me:
she'
saf
ri
end.
.
Her
:whatdi
dVenussay
?
Me:
hewant
sanot
herchance.
.
Her:
lookKri
s..Iwanty out oknowsomet hi
ng.
..
Venushasagi rl
fr
iend..Samant ha.
.Andt hey
havebeentogetherfory earsnow..andno
matterhowmanyt i
meshef ucksar oundhe
al
way sget
sbackwi t
hhi sgirl
fr
iend..
Me:butit
houghty
ouguy
ssai
dthi
sSamant
ha
gi
rlwas.-
Her:yeah..
.Ioncelostafri
endafterItoldher
thatherboy fr
iendwascheatingonl ybecause
theboy f
r i
enddeniedital
landpoi nt
edouthowI
wast ryi
ngt obreakthem..
sot hi
st i
meIwant ed
todot hingsdiffer
entl
y.
.Iwasgoi ngtomake
surey oufindoutony ourown..
Me:
ok.
.
Her:
andIwellaccordi
ngtomeIt hinkVenusis
notgoodforyou..
andI'
m sureyoudon'twant
thedramaSamant hacandishout.
.becauset
hat
whorehasalotofshittodi
shout..
Il
aughed.
..

Me:
yeah.
.
Her:
butanydeci
siony
out
akeknowIwi
l
l
suppor
tyou.
.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
.
Her
:noweatupsowecango.
..

Istartedeat i
ngwhil
stshet
oldmeal labout
Brad..Sureshedidlovethi
sguyandt heway
shewast alki
ngprovedhel
ov edhert
oo..Why
couldn'tt
hesamehappent ome?Whydi d
thi
ngshav etobealwaysdi
fferentwi
thme?
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Wehadar ri
vedinCapetown,Iwasgoingto
sleepovert
onightt
hengot omyhouset he
foll
owingday.
..AndIhadEnhleonmycase. .
Mom wasi nfr
ontofuswhileEnhlenaggedme..

Her
:whatdi
dyoudot
oKr
is?
Me:
whycoul
dIpossi
blydot
oher
?
Her:
didy
ouseet
hewayshef
reakedoutwhen
shesawyou?
Me:
l
ookj
ustst
ayawayf
rom i
t.
.
Her
:shecoul
dhav
emadeagoodgi
rl
fr
iend.
.
Me:
forwho?Yourmal
efr
iends?
Her
:don'
tbenut
sfory
ouofcause.
.
Me:
she'
sakidandther
e'snowayIcanev
er
l
ookatherl
i
kethat
..
.Herbrot
heri
smyenemy.
.
Her
:doy
oual
way
shav
etohav
edr
ama?
Me:may
bei fyoustopbei
ngdr amat
ici
nmyli
fe
t
henmay beforonceIwon'thavedr
amainmy
l
if
e..
Her:
shecouldhavebeenthebestt
hingt
hathas
everhappenedt
oy ou.
..
Me:
shehasaboy
fri
end.
.
Her
:t
heonewhowant
stoki
l
lher
?
Me:
yes,
theoneshewassmoochi
ngwi
th.
.
Her
:t
hewayy
ousai
dthat
..
Me:
what
?
Her
:yousoundLi
keaj
eal
ouscr
ush.
.
Me:don'tbepat heti
c..
I'
mj ustt
ryi
ngtopointout
thefactthat,
thatguyi snotgoodforher
..
.ifhe
oncetri
edt okillherthenwhoknowswhathe
candowor se..
Her
:andy
ouwantt
opl
ayher
o?
Me:no.
.Ihavebett
erthi
ngst
odoothert
han
l
ookingaftersomeonewhoissmar
tasKri
s..
Sheknowst hedangershe'sinwit
hthatguybut
shestil
lchoosestobearoundhim...
it
'sher
choicenotmineallIdon'
twantisyougetti
ng
att
achedt oherdramathat'
swhyIcamenow
canwest optalki
ngaboutthatgi
rl
?
Her
:soy
ouact
ual
l
ycamet
osav
emenother
?
Him:yes.
.shecandoasshepl
easesf
oral
lI
care.
.
Her
:It
houghty
ouhadcomet
osav
eher
..
Me:
yout
houghtwr
ong.
.

Wewal kedt othecabwi t

hherst i
llqui
teIguess
tr
yingtodigestitall
.Iwassopi ssed..
pissed
becauseaf t
erItoldherhowmucht hi
sguyhas
abadmot i
veonhershest i
lll
et'
shim closeto
her..Whatonear t
hcouldn'tsheseeexact ly
?As
soonaswegotwher emom andEnhl estayedI
excusedmy sel
ftotheroom Ialway ssl
eepi n
whenev erIcomeov er.
.
Ical
ledMax,myfr
iendandweusedt obei na
crewtoget
herbef
or ewedissol
ved.
.Meandhi m
wecomel ongway..Buthedoesn'
tstayherehe
stay
sbackinAmer i
ca..

Hi
m:br
uh!
Me:eversi
nceyouwentt
her
eyouhav
e
f
orgot
tenus..
Hi
m:saystheguywhowasher
eyest
erdaybut
di
dn'
tbothert
ohitmeup.
.
Me:
Iwasonami
ssi
on.
.Ineedahugef
avour
f
rom y
ou.
.
Hi
m:Iknewi
t.
.whati
sit
?
Me:
Iwanty
out okeepacl
oseey
eonsomeone
t
her
eforme..
Hi
m:who?
enemy
?
Me:
no.
..
somegi
rlcal
l
edKr
ist
inMacv
erdana.
.
Hi
m:whatt
hef
uckbr
uh?Tay
lor
'sdaught
er?
Me:
oneandonl
y.
.
Hi
m:Ihopei
t'
snotwhatIt
hink.
.
Me:
noshe'
snotmygi
rl
..
Hi
m: goodbecausei
fyouwantt
ost
artwargo
af
terhisdaught
er.
.
Me:no.
.butjustkeepaneyeonher .
.Iknowher
f
atheri
sbutkeepamuchcl osereyeonherand
makesur esomeguycalledVenussheschools
wi
thstayt hefuckawayfrom her
..
Him:ok.
..
butthenagai
nwhydoyouwantto
keephersafe?She'
snoty
ourbusi
ness.
.
Me:Iknowbutt
here'
snothingwr
ongwit
h
keepi
ngheroutofdangersheal
waysat
tract
s..
Hi
m:okfi
nebutbr
uhpleasedontgof
ort
hat
gi
rl
..
.Tay
lorwi
l
lki
lly
ou..
Me:
Idon'
tl
ikeherei
therway
..
.
Hi
m:good.
.wedon'
twantunnecessar
y
pr
obl
ems.
.andont
opoft
hatshe'
sSam'
ssi
ster
..
Me:
keephersaf
e..
Hi
m:j
ustt
ell
i
ngy
oui
nadv
ance.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.

ThenIhungup..Kr
ist
inwasmor eshi
tthanI
everi
magined.Andonemor ethi
ngisthatev
en
i
fIhadfeeli
ngsforhert
here'
snowaywecoul d
betoget
her.
.
.
.
KRI
S
.
.

ItwasnowSunday,
aroundlunchandwewere
seati
ngonanoutdoortabl
ehavingl
unchat
homewi
thdadt
alki
ngaboutt
het
ri
p.

Dad:wearegoingtobegoi ngonaboat
cr
uise,
forl
ike45mi nutesbefor
ewereacht
he
Smallt
ownwear egoingto..
Me:
that
'sexci
ti
ng.
.
Li
zzy
:yeahandIcan'
twai
t.
.
Dad:
sotodaywearegoingtodr
ivet
osome
hot
el,
wesleepther
ethentomor
rowmorni
ngwe
gototheboat.
.
Li
zzy
:andonemoret
hingKr
is,
wearegoingt
o
best
ayingt
her
efort
hewholehol
i
day..

Ireall
ydidn'
tcar
eifist
ayedf
ort
hewhole
Holiday,
aslongasIwasawayfr
om her
eI
couldn'
tcaremore.
.

Dad:
andIwanty
out
oknowy
ouar
efr
eet
o
i
nvi
teaf
ri
end.
.Idon'
twanty
out
ogetbor
ed.
.
Me:
real
l
y?
Him: y
eah..
soifyouhav eafri
endinmindIthink
youshouldcallhernowsoshecanget
ready..
andyoualso..
packsummercl othes
becausewherewear egoingit
ssuperhotand
there'
sabeachsoIt hinkyoumi ghtl
i
ket opack
somet hi
ngforthatal
so..
Me:
ri
ghtoni
t.
.

Isaidstandingupandrushingtomyroom.As
soonasIgoti nmyr oom Ical
ledLeahwho
didn'
ttakelongtoanswer..

Her
:mypar
ent
ssai
dyes.
.

Shescr
eamedassoonassheanswer
edt
he
cal
l.
.
Me:
andmydadsai
dwear
eleav
ingt
oday
..
Her
:t
oday
?
Me:yeahsopleasepacky ourbagsbecausewe
areleav
ingtoday.
.andonemor ethi
ngdadsaid
ther
e'sabeachtheresoweshoul dpack
rel
evantcl
othesforthat
..
Her
:ohhmyGod
.
thi
sissoexci
ti
ng.
.
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
.

Wet alkedsomemorebeforeIdroppedthecal
l
..
Ial
sot ookthatmomenttochatwithTshepi
eon
What sAppandofcauseavoi
dingtotal
kabout
Venus. .
.

Around1700hrsweweredr
ivi
ngtoLeah'
s
house,
shetextmesay
ingherdadal
sowanted
tospeakwi t
hmydad. .Wegott herewi
thme
giv
ingdaddi r
ecti
onsofcause..Assoonaswe
gotinsidethey ar
d,Leahwasalreadywaiti
ng
outsi
dewi t
hherbagandbesi desherwasher
parents..Asmypar entsgoti
nsidethei
rhouse
withherpar entswest ay
edbehindchatt
ing..
.

Her
:Idi
dn'
tthi
nkmydadwasgoi
ngt
oagr
ee
t
hatmucheasil
y.
.
Me:
may
bey
ourmom conv
incedhi
m..
Her:
well
ifshedi
dI'
m glad.
.Ihav
eaf eel
i
ngthi
s
i
sgoingtobethebestholi
dayever
..
foranew
st
art
..

Ihopedandpr ayedthati
tmaybeanewst art
forme..All
thisyearmyli
fehavebeenar oll
er
coasterandforonceIwashopi ngforjust
peaceandhappiness.Andonemor ethingIwas
sureabout.
.Therewasnev ergoingtobeand
Venus..
andt hatIwassureaboutnotaf ter
everyt
hingthathappenedespeci all
yfort hefact
thathehasagi rl
fr
iend.
.Itjustputthelastnai l
onthecof f
inandIcouldn'tdoi tanymor e!I
won'tconti
nuehur t
ingmy selfli
kethis.
.because
Venuswasn' tworthmytear s..
.
.
VENUS
.
.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookl
i
keshi
t!
Me:
Ifeel
Likei
t.
.

I
twasJer
emiahonmycase.
.Wewer
eathome
i
nmyroom..

Me:
howi
sJupi
ter
?
Shewasi nhospital.
.Hernotdri
nkingherpi
l
ls
l
edhert hereandapar tofmesay sshe
deser
vesi tbecauseifi
twasn'tf
orherthen
possi
blythiscouldn'
thavehappened..

Hi
m:y
oursi
steri
sinhospi
tal
buty
ouhav
en'
t
ev
enoncev
isit
edher.
.
Me:
dadi
scomi
ng.
.Hewi
l
lvi
sither
..
Hi
m:whatexact
lyi
sgoi
ngonher
e?

JeremiahknewaboutJupi t
er'
sconditionandhe
haveacceptedi tbutwhathedoesn'tknowwas
Jupit
er'
splanofki l
li
ngKris.
.Howt heheckdi dI
evenagreet othat?Maybeit'
sbecauseev er
si
ncemom di edIhavemadei tmypr iori
tyto
makeherhappyev enifi
twentagai nstallodds
andprinci
ples..
Me:
don'
twor
ry.
.
Hi
m:any
waywher
e'sy
ournewsi
dedi
sh?
Me:
si
dedi
sh?
Hi
m:Kris.
.consi
der
ingt
hefactt
hatyouhav
ea
gi
rl
fr
ienditmakesherasi
dedish.
.
Me:
Imessedupbi
gti
me.
.
Hi
m:wi
thwho?
Samant
ha?
Me:
no.
.Wi
thgi
rlIl
ovemor
ethanany
thi
ng.
.
Hi
m:y
esandt
hat
'sSamant
ha.
.
Me:
no.
.i
tsKr
is.
.

Hej
ustl
ookedatmewi
thhi
sjawdr
opped.
.

Hi
m:wai
twhat
?
Me:
yeah.
.andIhav
elosther
..
Hi
m:what?
butIthoughtSamant
hawast
heonl
y
gi
rly
ouloved.
.
Me:
notany
mor
e..
Hi
m:Wow!
Me:
yeah.
..

Istoodupandwal kedtomybat hroom, Istarr

ed
atmyr eflecti
ononthemi r
ror .
.Idi
dn'tev en
recognizewhoIwasany mor e..Ev
ent hough
KrissaidsheneededspacebutdeepdownI
knewIhadl ostherfor
ev er
..Andi thurtsobad
thatIev enf el
tli
kesleepingandnotwaki ngup
ever..Ijusthopewhoev ershe'sgoi ngtobewi t
h
reali
zeshowmuchspeci alshei s.
.Ihopehewi ll
beabet termanmor ethant hatIcoul dev erbe.
.

.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/
26,
19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STI
N'SDI
ARY
#I
nser
t16
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Pain,t
ears,pain,t
ear sandPai nagai nandt hat's
l
ife,
fil
ledwi t
ht earsbecauseunbear ablepai n
thatalwayshast ost rikedeepi nyourhear t
wher eithurtsthemost ,feeli
ngl i
kedy ing,
alwaysf i
ll
edwi t
ht het hought sof" willtheymi ss
mewhenI 'm gone?Wi llt
heyf inall
yr emember
howmuchIwashur t
ingwhenIpul ledt hef ake
smile?Wi l
l t
heyf inall
yf eel whatIf eltthat
ti
me? willt
heycar e, willtheycr y?"Ev eryt i
me
whenpai nhi t
sy ouhar dt hat'
swhatgoesoni n
themi ndandy ouwi l
lfeel li
kesuf f
ocat edi n
eachandev erysecond, mi nisecond. .Ev ery
thingwillf
eelsowr ongbutwhat '
swor seis
holdingont othepain,
becausethefeelingof
suf f
ocati
onwontgoawayast heheartstil
l
bleedsdeeplybutisitworthit
?Isthepai n
wor thyourdeath?Yourownsoul crushingdown
duet othepainthatishelddeepwi t
hin..I
sit
wor thi
t?

Ishutmyey est i
ghtlyasIputmypendown, Ifel
t
tearsstream andy etagai nyouf ai
ledt ohold
them backKr i
s!Ithought..
.Ihadbeenwr it
ingi n
thediarymymom boughtmel asty earonmy
birt
hdaysay ingitssomet hingIcanuset oput
downmyf eeli
ngsl i
kehowgi r
lsdoi tthis
days,shehademphasi zedbecauseI '
m nott hat
kindofper sonwhowoul djustblurtoutmy
feeli
ngst oany one,may betoTshepi ebutnot
alwaysasIhat etobeabur dent ohi m.I
l
aughedsof tl
yt omy selfasitfinal
l
ycl ickedi n
mymi ndwhatJul ianwassay ing,yesitdidnot
makesenset hatmomentbutnowIgetwhat
shewassay ing" isi twor thi t,
holdingt hepai n?"I
fel
tstupi dasIr eal i
zedhowmuchi ttookmet o
solveasi mplepr obl em. .Themor eIhel dont o
thepai nthemor eIl eti tbr eakme, themor e
everythingfel
tl i
kepai n..WhatBandi leputme
thr
oughwast raumat isi
ngandIhel dont oit
becauseIhat edhi m, Ihat edhi m bey ond
anythingelseandIst ill
di dbutmay bei twas
ti
met ol etgo..Venushur tme, he'smyf i
rstlove
anditsur edidhur tbuthol dingont oitwi llbri
ng
muchmor epaint hanwhatal readyi st here."I
j
ustwannal ovey ou, Iwannagi vey oumyal l
beforeev eryt
hinggoeswr ong"Ir ememberhi s
wordsasIhadhel dt hem cl osertomyhear t
..
Beforeev eryt
hingwentwr ong..andi tdi dgo
wrong.AsmuchasIpr omi sedt of i
ghtf orusno
mat t
erwhatbutt hiswasj ustbey ond.Het old
mehel ovedme, acount lesst imes.Tol dme
howmuchhecar edaboutme, andIbel ieved
him andwoul dy oubl ameme?Hel ooked
convincingandIf eltmay bewehadt he
connect ion, Ithoughthef eltittoobutt urnsout
i
t'stheopposi te..Hel iedforwhatr easons?
Becausemydadacci dentallykill
edhi smom.
Eveni fVenussay ssomewher eal ongwayI
startedl ov i
ngy ou, Imi ghtbel i
evebuthi s
actionspr ov edt omet hathewoul ddoany t
hing
forhi ssi sterbecauseoft heuncondi tional l
ove
hehasf orherandbel ievemei tsnotwr ongbut
okf inel et'
ssayhe' stell
ingt hetr uth,sowhati f
somedayJupi teri sli
ke" I
'
m ki l
lingmy self
Venusbecausey ouhav echosent obewi th
daught eroft hemanwhoki ll
edmymot her "
thenwhoi sVenusgoi ngtochose?I t stough
andIdon' twantt ocomebet weenhi m andhi s
fami ly.Forwant i
ngpeacei nmyl ifeIsetmy
hear tfreet oj ustl etgooft hehur tandpai n.I
hear daknockont hetoil
etdoorf ollowedbya
voice"Kr i
s,arey ouok?Youhav ebeent here
eversi nce45i nut esago"

I
twasLeah,
wewer
eal
readyatt
hehot
elwher
e
dadsaidwewi llbesleepingin.Iwil
lbeshar i
ng
theroom wi thLeah..QuicklyIwipedmyt ears
awayst andingupf rom thetoil
etseat.Ihad
beenseat edinthet oi
letforawhi l
enowj ust
try
ingtof i
gureoutmy self
,givi
ngmy selft
heself
evaluat
ionpr ocess.Iwalkedoutwi thmydi ar
y
i
nhand. .

Her
:j
eezwhatwast
aki
ngy
ousol
ong?
Me:
I'
m..
I'
m ok.
..
Her
:wi
thy
ourey
esr
ed?

Ismi
ledwitht
ear
sst
reami
ng,
Ismi
l
edt
hrough
mytears.
.

Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
.

Shesmi
l
ed.
..
Her
:youknowy oucanal
way
stal
ktomeabout
any
thingr
ight
?
Me:y
esandI'm gl
adIhav
eyouasaf
ri
end,
you
ar
ejustper
fect
..
Her
:andI
'
m al
sogl
adIhav
eyouasaf
ri
end.
.

Shesmiledwhi l
ehuggingme.Af terawhilewe
werelyi
ngonmybedaswet al
kedaboutt he
tr
ipandthethingswewer egoingtodo..Ifel
t
happyasactuallyIhadjustsatmymi ndf r
ee
fr
om theloadsoft hought
sIalway sst
ore..
.
.
VENUS
.
.
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ouar
ebet
ter
..
Her
:I
'm gl
adyouareher
e,t
oseeme.
.VenusI
'
m
sosorr
y..
.I
'
mreal
lysorr
y..
Mr:y
ouaremysister
..Icannev
ergetangr
yat
youfor
ever
..
I'
m gl
ady ouareal
ri
ght
..
Her
:shel
efty
ou?
Me:
i
tsl
i
fe.
.
Her:
Imessedupdi dn'tI?
Ijustwascaughtupi
n
howherfatherhurtourfamily.
.Itf
eel
sli
ke
yest
erdayandIjustfeltl
ikeweneedtomake
herpay.

Shesai
dast ear
sstreamed, ev
erytimemy
si
sterl
ethercondi
ti
onoutofcont rolshemess
upbigti
meandonet hi
ngIknowwel li
sthatshe
wil
lmakesuresheapol ogi
zesincerel
yforit
.

Me:wel
li
t si
nthepastnow.
.ev
ent
houghi
thur
ts
butIwi
llgetoveri
t.
.
Her:
weal lknowt hat'
salie.
.Youl
oveherandI
don'
tthinkthere'sachancethaty
ouwill
get
overthepersony oulovethemost
unconditi
onall
y..Ihadseenhowy ouwer
ewith
herthelastfewweeks. .
Hi
m:wel
lIl
osther
..

"
Buty
oucanf
indheragai
nandwi
nherback"

Avoi
cesai
dmakingmet ur
nandsurpr
isi
ngl
yit
wasJer
emywit
hJordanah..Ismi
l
ed
i
nvol
unt
ary
..

Me:
lookwhatt
hecathasdr
agged!
Jeremy:whyarey
out
alki
ngl
i
kesome
abandonedrat
?
Me:
ain'
tIanabandonedr
at?
Jor
danah:
whoabandonedy
ou?
Jupi
ter
:yourgr
eennowbl
ackass.
.
Il
aughedandt
hisi
showt
heyar
eal
way
s..

Jor
danah:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Jupi
ter
:I
'm bet
ter
..
Jer
emy
:whol
ostwho?
andwhy
?
Jupit
er:Venusl
osthi
sgi
rl
fr
iendbecauseofme
pract
icall
y..
Jer
emy:sonowwhat
'
sst
oppi
ngy
ouf
rom
get
ti
ngherback?

Hesai
dfaci
ngme.
.

Me:she.
..
wellsomeshi
tdidhappen.
.Al
otof
l
iesbroughtbymeli
ter
all
ybrokeus.
.
Him:andher
eIthoughti
fther
e'sanyonewho
val
uehonestyi
nar el
ati
onshi
pisyou..
Me:
I.
.-
Jupi
ter
:it
smyf aul
tli
keIsai
d..
Iputhi
mi na
di
ffi
cul
tposi
ti
on,Imadehimlosehisdream gi
rl
..
Jeremy:shithappensit
slif
e,y
oudon'tal
way s
getwhaty ouwantbutifit
sagi r
landshe'snot
yetmarriedthenIsuggestyoufi
ghtforher
befor
ey oucompl et
elyl
oseherbecausey ouwil
l
l
ivetoregretit
..
Me:she.
..Shepret
tymadeitcl
earaboutus.
.I
j
ustdon'
twantt ohar
assherandmakeherl i
fe
moredif
f i
cul
tthanwhati
talr
eadyis.
.Il
oveher
enoughtoseeheratpeace.
.
Him:andI'
m sureyoualsol
ov eherenoughto
l
oseherforeverandli
veami serabl
eli
fefor
ever
?
Whydon'tyoutryagai
n?Truel oveonl
ycomes
oncealif
eti
me..youl
oseitt
henmay beyou
mightconsi
derofdoingwhat'sbestforher
..
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Thef ollowingdaywewentf ort heboatas
promi sed, t
hehot el wesl eptatwasoutoft own
andt hent heboatcr uisewasgoi ngtot ake
about45mi nut est ogett ot heot hersi de.We
willbet ravell
ingt hroughar iv erthenwhen
arri
veatt heot hersi dewedr i
v eforabout75km
l
ikedadsai dsoi tsabi tfarbuti tsar efreshing
j
our neyt hough.Theboatcr ui sewentwel l
,i
twas
actual l
ymor eexci ti
ngmor et hanIhad
anti
ci pated.Get t
ingt ot heot herwef oundacar
waitingf orust her e,dadex plai nedhehadoneof
hiscar st r
anspor tedher esowecanf indsome
meansoft ranspor t..Seat i
ngi nacarf oral most
2hour sormor ewasoneoft hewor stt hings
thatIhav eev erexper ienced.West oppedat
somef ewar easf orr ecess.Dadpul ledupat
somebeaut ifulbeachhouse.I twassobeaut if
ul,
butnotmor ethant
hehousebackathome
thoughbutitwasbeauti
ful
,
Icoul
dseethe
beachactuall
yandther
ewer eaf
ewpeople
therewhower esur
fi
ng.Wegotofft
hecarwit
h
ourbags.
..
Dad:
her
ewear
e..
Leah:
wow!
sobeaut
if
ul.
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Li
zzy
:wear
egl
ady
ouguy
sli
kei
t.
.
Me:
l
ike?
youmustbeki
ddi
ngme.
.wel
ovei
t!

MeandLeahr ushedintothehousewi t
hour
bags,
Iimmediatelychosear oom whichhada
vi
ewtot hebeach..EventhoughIwast i
redbutI
wasdef i
nat
lyinthemoodf oratouraroundthi
s
pl
ace..Leahimmer gedfrom thedoorasIwas
sti
l
lgetti
ngusedt othisplace.
Her
:wannacheckoutt
hepl
ace?
Me:
your
eadmymi
nd.
.Ofcause
Her
:l
et'
sgo.
.

Wewentdownst airsleavi
ngDadandLi zzybusy
sett
lingdown. .Wewal kedar oundt hear ea,even
wentt ot hebeach. .Wewal kedatar eas
surroundi ngourhousej ustsot oknowal it
tle
onthi sarea..Aswewer est i
llwalki
ngwe
noti
cedsomeguycomi ngrightatus, hewas
tal
l,
abi tbuf f
y,darkbrownmessyhai randbl ue
eyes..Icoul dobser vehim clearlyashewast he
onlyonewhoact uallyGav eHi sattentiont ous..
Hewal kedupt ous..

Hi
m:Ray
..

Hesaidbri
ngi
nghishandf
orashake.
.Leah
shockhi
shandforafewseconds.
.
Her
:Leahandt
hisi
smysi
ster
..Kr
is.
.
Hi
m:y
ouguy
sar
enew?
Leah:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:hol
i
daypur
poses?
Leah:
yes.
.
Him:ok..
ummhI 'm sur
eyouguy
swantatour
aroundthisareaandI'
m moret
hanwi
ll
i
ngtodo
so..
let
'ssaytomorrow?
Leah:
great
!9l
atest
?
Hi
m:9i
tis.
.Doesshet
alk?

Hesai
dtoLeah.
.

Ij
ustl
aughed,
Idi
dn'
tevenreal
i
zehowqui
etI
hadgot
tenbythesecond.
.
Me:
Ican.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
ereal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.

Ismi
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:ohhwel
lgr
eat
..
seey
ouguy
stomor
row.
.

Hesai
dwal
ki
ngaway
..

Me:
thatwentwel
l
..
Her
:he'
sgoodl
ooki
ng.
.

Igav
eheral
ook.
.

Her
:what
?Iwasj
ustsay
ing.
.
Me:
Isee
Her
:yeah.
.l
et'
sgoback.
.
Wewentbackt
othehouse,
andassoonaswe
gott
her
eIwaswelcomedbymyphoneri
ngi
ng,
andi
twasmymom. .

Me:
Mma!
Her:
ont
ebet
seaker
e?(
youhav
efor
got
tenme
r
ight
?
Me:
ohwMma!Iwasgoi
ngt
ocal
l
..
Her:
l
ies!Buthowabouty
oustar
tbyyou
expl
aini
ngthatki
ssi
ngpi
ctur
eonFacebook.
.

Howdi dsheseet hat?

mom doesn' tli
ke
facebookbecauseaccor di
ngtoher .
.Facebook
i
sf orSat
anistpeople.
.shealways
emphasized..
nowIwasi nreal
shitthanev er
..
.

Me:
Icanexpl
ainmama.
.
Her
:keemet
segone(
am wai
ti
ngf
ort
hat
)
Me:
I.
..
ke.
.ummh.
.I
..
.
Her
:Kr
ist
in!

Shecall
edmynamewithmuchaut
hori
tyt
hatI
fel
tmyskincat
chcol
dimmedi
atel
yandmy
i
ntest
inest
wist
.

Her
:Iwantt
hatnonsensegone.
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:anywayhowareyou?Yourdadtel
lsme
t
hatyouguyswentf
orsomeHol i
dayvacat
ion.
.
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:Ihopey
ouenj
oyy
our
sel
fbaby
..
Me:
met
oo.
.
Her:
l
ookletmegetgoingsweetyandplease
Kr
ist
in.
.Dontf
orgett
heprinci
plesIt
aughtyou,
I
wantt
hatnonsenseonFacebookgone.
.Ihadto
f
indoutt
hroughmycoll
eaguethatmydaughter
i
snowkissing.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Her:
I'
m sur
eyouar
e,y
oushoul
dbe.
.any
way
bye.
.Il
oveyou
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e..

Shethenhungup,Icoul
dfi
nall
ybreath.I
magine
i
fshewasnearmeshecoul dhavebeatthe
crazi
nessoutofme..Il
ookedaroundandI
foundLizzyl
ooki
ngatme..

Me:
hey
..
Her
:wast
haty
ourmom?
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:howi
sshe?
Me:
sheal
mostbeatmet
hrought
hephonef
or
someshi
tonFacebook.
Her
:l
olany
waywear egoi
ngt
oeatatsome
r
est
aurant
..Let
'sgo.
.

Iwalkedoutbehi
ndher.Indeedwewentt oa
rest
aurantt
hatni
ghtwereweat e.Thefoodwas
amazingtobehonest.Aftereat
ingwedrove
backhomeandsl ept
..I
thadbeenal ongday.
.
Thef
oll
owi
ngdayLeahwokemeup.
.

Me:
whatt
imei
sit
?
Her:
i
ts8wakeupandbat
h..Idontwantt
okeep
Raywai
ti
ng.
.

Islowl
ygotupthenwentt othebat
hroom t
hatI
wasshari
ngwi t
hLeah.Itookaquickshower
andwhenIcameoutf rom theshowershehad
alr
eadychosenclot
hesforme..Ablackti
ght
seethroughcroptopwit
hablackbiki
nibra,
a
blackbiki
nipant
yandablackbum short
..Iwor
e
them andpracti
cal
lyi
notherwor
dsIwasnaked
thoughIdidlookgood.

Me:
toomuchski
nrev
iewed.
.
Her:y
oushoul donl ybewearingbi
kinissot r
ust
me..youaref i
nelikethat
.Shegavemesome
sunglassesasshewor ehas.Shewasdr essed
i
nabl uebikinibra,bl
uebiki
nipant
y..Icouldsee
i
tasshehaddr aggedherbum shor tabi tl
ow..I
woremyf l
i
pf l
ops, t
ookmyphoneandwe
walkeddownst ai
rswherewef oundLi zzybusy
wit
hbr eakfast.
.
Me:
mor
ning.
.
Leah:
mor
ning.
.
Li
zzy
:mor
ninggi
rl
s,
goi
ngsomewher
e?
Leah:
taki
ngat
ouront
hispl
ace.
.
Li
zzy
:br
eakf
ast
..
Me:
nowecool
plusweal
readyl
ate.
.
Li
zzy
:ok.
.y
ougi
rl
shav
efun!
Me:
wei
ntendt
o..

Wel
aughedwal
kingout.Arr
ivi
ngatt
hebeach
wef
oundRayal
readythere.
.
Leah:
wel
ate?
Ray
:no.
.buty
ouguy
sready
?
Me:
yeah.
..
Ray
:ni
cev
oicey
ou'
vegatt
her
eKr
is.
.

Ij
ustl
aughed.
.

Ray
:andbeaut
if
ull
augh.
.any
wayl
et'
sgo.
.

Wewalkedwit
hhi
m unt
ilwegott
osomecar.
.A
bl
ackToyot
a4×4i
twassohugeliket
heones
usedatt
her
aci
ngspor
ts.
.

Me:
wow!

IlookedatRaywholookedl
i
kehewasonhis
ear l
y20'
s.
.buthowcomeheownsabeastl
i
ke
this?

Hi
m:so?
whatdoy
ouguy
sthi
nk?
Me:
i
tsbeaut
if
ull
ylar
geandbi
g..

Leahl
aughed.
.

Her
:Ican'
tagr
eemor
e..
Him:
ok.
.soy
ougi
rl
sli
kei
t.
.ummhl
et'
sget
goi
ng.
.
Me:
wai
t.
.l
etmesendLi
zzyt
hedet
ail
soft
his
car.
.soi
ncasewear enotbackear
lyshecal
l
s
thepoli
ce.
.wedontknowyou..
Him:well
whileyouoni
ttel
lherthatyouar
e
wit
ht heAvenueTown'
sli
eutenant'
sson
RaymondVogue. .

Il
ookedathi
m,t
henIputmyphonebacki
nthe
pocket
..

Me:
ok.
.
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:Il
ikey
ourcauti
ous.
.Imeanonecantt
rav
el
wi
thsomeonetheydon'
tknow.
..
Me:
yeah.
.Imeanwhati
fyouar
easer
ial
kil
l
er?
Him:wel
lbegl
adI'
m not
..
.I
'mjustaregul
ar
persongi
vi
ngthemostbeaut
ifulgi
rl
satour
..

Il
aughed.
.
Me:
wel
lhowaboutwest
arti
tnow.
.

Wegoti nsi
dethecarwi
thmuchexci t
ement.
.I
gotinthebackseatwhi
l
eLeaht ookthefr
ont
passengerseat
.Hedroveusstrai
ghtint
own
andwest oppedsomewhere.
..

Hi
m:andt
hisi
sthet
ownCent
er.
.

Ilookedaroundandt heplacewascrowded
withshops..peopl
ewer ether
ebutnotinalarge
number .Wegotof fthecarandaswest art
ed
walkingsomewher eIsawVenus'si8pullup
besidesus..Ihopedandpr ay
editwasn'thi
m
butunfortunatel
yitwashim,i
nfl
esh.Hegotof f
thecar..
Hi
m:hey
..
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:canwet
alk?
Me:
Ithoughtwet
alkedal
ready
..
Hi
m:Kr
ist
inpl
ease.
.

Il
ookedatLeahwhohadt
hediscour
agi
ngl
ook
on.
.andRaywhowasconf
used.
.

Me:
ummhy
ouguy
scango.
.wewi
l
lcat
chup.
Leah:
arey
ousur
e?.
.
Me:
yeah.
.

Shewal
kedawaywit
hRaybutIcoul
dseeshe
di
dn'
tappr
ovewhatwasgoi
ngon..

Hi
m:ummhgeti
nthecar
..
please
Ir
eluct
ant
lygoti
nandhest
art
eddr
ivi
ng.
.

Me:
wher
ear
eyout
aki
ngme?
Hi
m:somewher
ewecant
alki
npeace.
.

Iheldmyphonei
nmyhandandLeah' snumber
onspeeddial
.
.ForsomereasonIdi
dn'tf
eel
safear
oundVenusanymore.
.

Hedr
ovet
osomel
ake.
..

Assoonaswegott
her
ewegotof
f.
.

Me:
howdi
dyouf
indt
hispl
ace?
Hi
m:don'
twor
ry.
..
itwasont
hemap.
.
Me:
ok.
.Youwant
edust
otal
k..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.l
ookKr
isI
'
m sosor
ry.
.IknowI
messedup.
.and-
Me:
Ihav
efor
giv
eny
ou.
.
Hi
m:what
?
Me: Ihav
ef or
giv
enyou..I
'
mt i
redofhol dingont
o
painfult
hingsandsoIhav ef
or giv
eny oubut
thoughthisdoesn'
tmeanany thing..If
eel
may beyouneedt ofocusonSamant ha.
.
Hi
m:Iwilldumpherbabe..
.Il
oveyousomuch
Kr
is.
.al
lIneedisonelastchance.
.pl
easesoI
j
ustprovemy sel
ftoy
ou..

Me:
youwer
echeat
ingont
opofy
ourl
i
es.
.
Hi
m:IknowandI'
m wil
li
ngtomaket hi
ngsr
ight
..
Il
oveyouandyoutheonlyoneIwant.
.

Heshutmeupwi t
hakiss,
apassi
onateki
ss
thatIcoul
dn'
tresist.
.Hebr
oughtourbodi
es
closert
oeachot herasIl
ostmysel
fintheki
ss.
.
Ipul
l
edoutaf
terawhi
l
e..

Hi
m:IloveyousomuchKr
is.
.pl
easegi
veusone
l
astchance.
.
Me:
yout
ri
edt
oki
l
lme.
.y
oudon'
t.
.I.
..
youj
ust
..

Isai
dget
ti
ngof
fhi
sar
msandt
ear
sst
art
ed
str
eami
ng..

Me:youli
ed,pr
etendedyoul
ovedme.
.youbroke
meVenus..Ican'
t..
Idontwantt
ohur
tmy sel
f
any
mor e.
.
Him:thel
astthi
ngIwantt oseey oudoiscry
andknowingI'mthereasonwhyhur tsme..I
'
m
goingtogiv
espacebutonet hi
ngIcansurel
y
promiseyouisthatIl
ovey ou..
andI'
m notgi
ving
uponus!Nev er!
Hesai
dwi
pingof
fmyt
ear
s..

Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
..
Me:no.
.IwantLeaht
oseet
hispl
ace.
.y
oucan
go.
.
Hi
m:Ibr
oughty
ouher
eandIhav
eto.
.-
.
Me:no,
IwantLeaht
oseet
hispl
ace.
.i
ts
beauti
ful
..

Isaidt
aki
ngmyphonet
ext
ingLeaht
he
dir
ecti
onst
othi
spl
ace.
.

Hi
m:ok.
.ButIwi
l
lwai
tti
l
lsheget
sher
e..
Me:
Venusy
oudonthav
eto.
..

Hejustst
oodther
e,af
terawhi
l
eIhadcar
soundscomi
ngourway .
.
Me:
yousee.
.t
heyar
eher
e..
youcangonow.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.Il
ovey
ouok?
Me:
ok.
.

Hesmi ledgoti nhiscaranddr oveaway .

.there
wasaf al l
entr eeattheedgesoft hel ake,it
l
ookedl ikethet r
eefeel i
nt helake.Igott oit
thenstoodont hefallent ree'
sbr anchest hat
wereint helake, t
hebr ancheswer et heonl y
onesint helackwhi l
et hebulkwasont hel l
and
attheedgesoft helake. .Ithi
nkImi sstepped,
thatIsl
ippedf all
inghar dhitt
ingmyl egont he
branch,
causi ngunbear ablepainsi nkdeepand
fal
li
ngint hel ake..Ifeltwat ersuf focateme, I
couldn'
tbr eathandt omakemat terswor seI
couldn'
tswi m becausel it
erall
yIdi dn'tknow
howt o.
.If el
tmysoul leavemybodyasIsank
deeperint hewat er
s..
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

Thi
sisyest
erday
'si
nser
t.
.t
oday
'si
nser
tisst
il
l
goi
ngtocome
[
11/26,
19:
43]Ron:DANGEROUS
ATTRACTI
ON:KRI
STIN'
SDIARY
#I
nser
t17
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Icoul
dhearvoicesbutIwasn'
tabl
etotell
who
theywer
efor.Theatmospherefel
theav
ybut
mybodyfeltheavi
er.Nott
oment i
onmyey el
i
ds,
byal lmeansIt r
iedopeningmyey esandt he
mor eItriedthemor eIcoul dactuallyheart he
voicesmuchmor el
ouder.Thev oiceschanged
toasob, themomentmyey esfinall
ysl i
ghtly
openedgi v
ingmeabl urvisi
ont heheav i
nessI
hadbeenf eelingwasslowl yfadingaway .
.I
l
ookedar oundandIwassur ethiswasa
hospi t
albed.Myey escont i
nuedt or oam
aroundunt iltheycameacr ossLeahwhohad
herf acebur i
edinherhandssi l
entlysobbing.I
clearedmyt hroateventhoughmyt hroatfeltso
dry..Quicklysher ai
sedherheadl ookingatme.
Her:
ohhmyGodKr i
s..
don'
tyoueverscar
eus
l
ikethat
..I
..
letmecall
thedoctor
..

Shescr
eameddoct
orandaft
erawhil
esome
guywhoIbel
i
evedwasthedoct
oremerged.
Hi
m:Kr
ist
inMacv
erdana,
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
I'
mthi
rst
y..
Leahrushedandpouredmewat eri
naglass
thengaveme.Af t
erdr
inkingIgavebackthe
cuptoher,Iact
ual
lyf
eltbett
er.
.

Hi
m:soy
oudr
owned.
.
Thatmomentever
ythi
ngjustcameback,I
soft
lyt
ouchedmylegandthepainwassti
ll
ther
ebutnottomuchandsurpri
singl
yIwasst
il
l
i
nmycl ot
hes.

Hi
m:t
hankGody ouwer
ef oundqui
ckl
y.
.i
fthey
di
dn'
t.
.Idon'
tknowwhatcouldhav
ehappened..
Me:
Isl
i
ppedandf
ell
..
Hi
m:wel
lthankgoodnessy
ouar
eok.
.
Me:
howl
onghav
eIbeenher
e?
Leah:
acoupl
eofhour
s..
Iwassowor
ri
ed.
.
Shesai
dasaf
ewt
ear
sdr
opped.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Her
:di
dVenus.
.-
Me:no..
hewasal
readygone.
.Ihopey
oudi
dn'
t
cal
lhim..
Her:
becauseIdon'
thav
ehi
snumberbuti
fIdi
dI
coul
dhav e.
.
Me:no.
.i
tsmyf aul
tnothi
m..
andIhopey
ou
di
dn'tt
elldad.
.
Her:
becausemyphoneisof
fbuti
fyoust
ayed
unconsci
ousforanot
hermi
nut
eIwasaboutt
o
gohoneandtellt
hem..
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Her
:youscar
edme.
.
Me:
wher
e'sRay
?
Her:
wentt
ogetuscof
fee.
.l
etmecheckupon
hi
m..

Shesai
dwalki
ngoutl
eavi
ngmewiththedoct
or
whowasbusyonmydr i
pthewhol
eti
me..
Me:
ther
e'snodamagedonet
omybodyr
ight
?
Hi
m:well
yeahbutt
her
e'ssomeonewho'
sso
madri
ghtnow,
Ithi
nky
ouneedtotal
kwithhi
m..
Me:
him?
who?
isi
tSam?

Het
ookHi
sphoneandcal
l
edsomeone.
.

Hi
m:t
ake.
.It
sri
ngi
ng.
.
Itookthephonef
rom hi
m andpl
aceditonmy
ear,wasitSam?Aft
erawhil
etheper
sonpicked
up..

Hi
m:Max.
.
Mythroatwentdr
yagai
n,
thi
ssoundedl
i
ke
Bandi
l
e.Ilookedatt
hedoct
orguy..
Me:
who'
sthi
s?
IaskedthedoctorguyasIr
emov
edt
hephone
fr
om earhangingup..
Hi
m:That
'
sBandi
l
e..
Il
ookedathi
m mor
ecaref
ull
ythi
stimear
ound
checki
ngi
fhewasreal
l
yadoctor
..
Me:
whot
heheckar
eyou?
Hi
m:I
'
m adoct
or.
.ButI
'
m al
soBandi
l
e'sf
ri
end.
.

Hisphonestar
tedRi
ngi
ng,
het
ooki
tand
answered.
.
Hi
m:she.
.I
..
-ok
Hi
m:heser
iousl
ywant
stot
alkt
oyou.
.
Me:wedon'thaveanybusi
nesstoget
her
..
so
def
inatl
ywehav enot
hingt
odiscussasfaras
I
'm concer
ned..
Hi
m:y
ougatat
inyv
oice.
.
Me:whatdoesmyv
oicehav
etodowi
th
any
thing?
Him:not
hing.
.Pl
easej
usttal
ktohi
m..f
or10
secondsokandhearwhathehaveto
say.
.maybehegatsomethi
ngimpor
tantt
otel
l
you.
.

Hesai
dpl
aci
ngt
hephoneonmyear
..

Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Hi
m:whydon'
tyoul
i
sten?
Me:andwhatar
ey outal
kingabout
?Youknow
whatIact
ual
lydon'tcar
ebecause.
.-
Hi
m:doy
ouhav
eadeat
hwi
sh?
Me:
huh?
Him:howdoy ouwantmet otel
lyou?What
exactl
ydon'tyouget
?ThatVenusboyfr
iendof
yoursain'
tgoodforyou.
.
Me:
say
stheguywhoki
dnappedme.
.ohwow!
Hesi
ghed.
.heav
il
ythatIcoul
dev
enheari
tov
er
t
hephone.
.
Him:Kri
sthatguytriedtokil
lyou.
.healready
hadhisplaninmotionandt oaddt oityouwere
somesi dechicki
nt hemaking.Andt henyou
suddenlydrownafterbeingwithhim and
actual
l
yy ouseeallthisok.
.
Me:
i
twasn'
thi
m!Isl
i
ppedandf
ell
.
.
Hi
m:whyt
hef
uckdoy
oual
way
sat
tractshi
t?
Me:whendidwhatIat
tr
actst
artbei
ngy
our
busi
ness?
Hi
m:Idon'
tev
enknowwhatt
osayt
oyou.
.
Me:
wel
lyoudont
-
Hi
m:Ihat
etaki
ngmat
ter
sinmyownhands.
.

Andhungup,
hewaspissedIcoul
deasi
lyheari
t
butwhy?Asf
arasIwasconcernedhewanted
medead. .
sotodaywhythesuddenchangeof
scenari
o?LeahemergedwithRayasIgavethe
doctorhi
sphoneback..
.
Him:i
fIwereyouIwouldstayawayfr
om
Bandil
eandthatVenusguyofyour
sbut
especi
all
yBandil
e..
Me:
I.
.-
Him:youbeingwithhimisast ar
tofunending
warandt earsandheart
breaks..
andy oudon'
t
wantthat..
becausethat
'swhatisgoingto
happenifyoudon'tkeepyourdistantwit
hhim..

Hesai
dwalki
ngoutleavi
ngLeahl
ooki
ngatme
wi
thaconf
usedlook..
Her
:ok.
.whatwast
hat
?
Me:
ohhnot
hing.
.Wher
e'st
hecof
fee?
Shehandmet
hecof
fee.
.
Ray
:I
'm gl
ady
ouar
eok.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.howdi
dyouguy
sfi
ndme.
.
Hi
m:youwer
etr
yingt
okeepy
our
sel
font
opof
wat
er.
.
Me:t
hat'
snotwhatIr
emember
..Ir
emember
dr
owning.
.
Hi
m:wel
l
..sohowar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
bet
ter
..
Thanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:Iwoul
dhav
edonet
hesamef
orany
one.
.
Leah:
sowhenar
eyouget
ti
ngdi
schar
ged?
Me:
todayIguess.
.t
her
e'snor
easonf
orkeepi
ng
mehere.
.
Her
:yeah.
.

Afterawhil
ethenursedi schargedme, Iact
uall
y
want edt
hatdoct
orguyt odischargeme, Ihada
l
otofquestionst
oaskhi m.Ineededhi mt oget
meoutoft heconfusionIwasst uckin.
.Even
thoughIhadnopar t
icularfeeli
ngt owards
Bandi
l
ebutwhatthatguysaidsur
elycaughtmy
at
tent
ion.Whatdi
dhemeanbysay ingitwil
l
bri
ngunendi
ngwarandtears?
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Ihungupt hr
owingmyphoneont hecouch.IfI
couldIwoul dhaveactuallyleftheralonetodeal
withherownmessbutt hensy mpat hyhas
gottenthebestofmesoIt hink.Iwalkedtomy
ki
tchen,tookoutabottleofbeer ,openedita
gulpedsomeabi t
.AsIwasst i
llther
eIhearda
knock.Iwentandopenedt hedoorandi twas
Quincybutwecal lhi
m Q, he'salsoaf ri
endli
ke
Max. .
butwemetatVar sityfir
sty ear
.Helet
himselfin.
.
Hi
m:Br
uh!
Me:
what
'
shappeni
ng?
Hi
m:ahhnon.
.act
ual
l
ythi
nki
ngofmay
behi
tt
ing
t
heclub.
Me:
thenwhatbusi
nessdoy
ouhav
einMy
house?
Hi
m:Maxcal
l
edme.
.
Me:
Ibethedi
d..
Hi
m:whatt
hef
uckar
eyoupl
ayi
ngat
?
Me:
i
nmyass!
wher
eel
sewoul
dIbepl
ayi
ngat
?
Hi
m:Youar
eser
iousl
yint
oTay
lor
'ski
d?
Me:
I'
m noti
ntot
hef
ucki
ngki
d!
Hi
m:It
hinkyouarebecausei
fyoudi
dn'
tthen
whyar
ey ouhav
ingherwatched?
Me:
tokeepherawayf
rom shi
t
Hi
m:sheai
n'
tyourbusi
ness.
.
Me:
fucki
tman!
Hi
m:If
eel
sor
ryf
ory
ou,
l
ikeser
iousl
yIdo.
.You
mightbethebaddestinthegamebutTay l
or.
.I
dontknowman. .pl
usthefactt
hatyouareso
badmakesev eryoneputthei
rki
dsinthei
r
panti
eswhent heyseeyoucomi ng.
.
Me:
somuchf
orf
ri
endshi
p..
Him:i
tsthetr
uth..
Imean.
.Iwoul
dn'
twantmy
daughtermarr
yingaguywit
hTatoosl
i
keyour
s..
Hesai
dwhi
l
elaughi
ng.
..
.
Me:t
hisi
snotwhatIwant
..
butIcan'
tseem t
o
st
opit.
.Iusedt
ohateher
..
sheremindedmeof
Sam..
butnow..
Him:
youjustcan'
tfal
loutofl
ov e.Youcan
cont
rolany
thi
ngBandilebutonl ove.
.y
ouare
fi
ght
ingalosi
ngcompet i
ti
on..
Me:
Ithi
nkIneedt
ocal
lTheodor
e
Hi
m:y
ourboot
ycal
l
?
me:
yeah.
.
Iwasal
readydi
ali
nghernumber
..

Him: l
ookIadv icey outodowhat '
sright.
.i
fy ou
wantt odiebecauseofl ovejustbecausey ou
choset olovet hemonst er'
sdaughtery our
choice..Butonet hi
ngIcanassur eyouofor
maket hem t wo. .
fir
stlyyoucan'tfal
loutofl ove.
Ifyoulov ehercal li
ngsomebi gbootygi r
lisnot
goingtomakey oust opl ovi
ngthisyourKr i
sand
secondl y.
.l
ovingKr isti
nMacv erdanameansy ou
aresigningy ourowndeat hwarrant
..Soy ou
chose..theballisiny ourhands..Starti
ngwor l
d
war3orst ayinglonel yfortherestofyourlife
becausey oucoul dn'tbewi t
hthegirlyoulov e
themost .
.
.
.
KRI
S
.
*
*2WEEKSLATER*
*
.
It
sbeen2weeksnowandwear estil
latt he
vacation.Medr owningwassomet hingthatI
managednott oletdadknowbecausei fthere'
s
anythingIdon'twanti stor uinthisgetawayf or
everyone.Ineversawt hatdoct orguyagai n,
I
evenwentbackt othehospi talbutsinceIdi dn'
t
knowhi snamet heycoul dn'thelpmebutIt r
ied
todescr i
behimt heyst i
llsaidtheydon' tknow
anyonel i
kethat.Ididn'ttellLeahaboutt hisat
all
,
Ididn'twantt ofr
eakheroutobv i
ouslyand
wellwehav ebeenspendi ngmor et i
mewi thRay
thi
sday s.Wellmost lytheywer eteachingme
howt oswi m.Thi smoment ,Iwaswi thmydad
atthesamel akeIfellin,wewer ef i
shing.We
weredoi ngsomebondi ng. .
Hi
m:sohowar
eyouf
indi
ngt
hispl
acesof
ar?
Me:
i
tsgr
eat
..
Ili
kei
t.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ady
oudo.
.Ibr
oughtusher
ebecause
Iwantustospendmuchmoretimetoget
her
..
Get
tingt
oknoweachotherbet
ter.
.
Me:
Il
ovet
hat
Him:y
es,knowyoucantal
ktomeabout
anyt
hing..Ev
enaboutaboy.
.

Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
youwon'
tfr
eak?
somepar
ent
sfr
eak.
.
Hi
m:pi
nkypr
omi
se.
.

Il
aughed.
.
Me:ok.
.i
sit
..
ummhcanar el
ati
onshi
pbef
ixed
af
tertr
usthasbeenl
ost
?
Him:wel
ltr
ustiskeyi
narel
ati
onshi
p..Oncei
ts
l
ostyesitcanbegott
enbackbuti
tsurewon'
t
bethesame..
Me:
yeah.
.whathappenedbet
weeny
ouand
mom?
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Him:yourmom wast heloveofmyl if
eatsome
poi
ntbutIkepthurti
ngherov erandoveragain
unti
lIfi
guredi
fIreal
lyloveherthenIwil
llether
behappy .
.
Me:
doy
oul
oveLi
zzy
?
Hi
m:y
es,
Il
ear
ntt
o..
buti
tsnott
hesame.
..
Me:howdoy
ouev
enknowi
fsomeonel
oves
you?
Him:thelit
tl
ethingstheydof oryou,somet i
mes
thewayt heylashoutony ou,thewayt heyget
madi fyougetint r
ouble..
thesmal l
estthings
Kri
sar etheoneswhi chcant el
lyouifsomeone
l
ov esyou..
somet i
meswhensomeonescr eams
orshout satyouforgetti
nghur tphysicall
y.
.
Evenifitwasn'tyourfault
..t
hewayt hey
shout..
thatsl
ov eoverthere.
.i
tsnotact ual
ly
becausesomeonei smadbutt heyarescar ed
oflosingy ouf oreversot heyal way swanty out o
besaf eatal lt i
mes. .Theef f
ortt heymake
towardsy ou..evenwheni t
'ssmal laf t
erallits
thethoughtt hatcount s..
notal way sbei ngt aken
toaf ancyr est auranti sshowi ngl ov e,
somet imesj ustsi t
tingdownont hegr assis
enough. .Somet imesj ustwalkingt ogetheris
muchmor ebet t
ert hangoi ngoutt omov iesor
i
cecr eamsl i
key ouy oungsters. .Beforeal l
t his
technologyhowdoy outhinkpeopl eusedt o
spendt imet oget her?Whensomeonel ovesy ou
theywi l
l alway sf i
ndawayt oknowwher ey ou
areandmakesur ey ouar esaf e,theywon' tst op
fussi
ng. .
andi t sact uallyannoy ing..
Hrchuckl
ed.
.

Him:andthat
'slove.
..
whensomeonei swil
li
ngto
stopthei
rworldforasecondthereandchoose
toworryaboutyou..
it
slove.
.af
teral
lit
sthe
smallthi
ngsthatmattert
hemost ..
andifi
t'
sreal
l
oveKrisyouwillfeeli
t..
theemoti
onal
bond.
.y
ouwi l
lfeelit.
.t
heconnecti
onwill
be
muchstrongerthanany thi
ng.
.Ifi
tsl
ove.
.
Me:
youwi
l
lfeel
it.
.
Hi
m:andt
hat
'si
t.
.
Me:
ohhDad.
.y
ouar
ethebest
..

Isai
dhuggi
nghi
m..
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouKr
is.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oodad.
.

Ipul
l
edoutoft
hehug.
.

Hi
m:Ihear
dabouty
ouki
ssi
ngt
hisday
s..

Il
aughed.
.
Me:
mommyi
smad.
.
Him:shehasever
yri
ghtto.
.butf
oryourown
sakeIthi
nkit
sbestify
ouremov et
hatpict
ure
onFacebook..
befor
eshehuntsyoudown..

Me:
youknowher
..
*
***
***
***
***
***
Me:
youdon'
thav
etodoany
thi
ngi
fyouar
enot
r
eady.
.
Her
:whati
fIl
osehi
m?
Me:
thenit
'shi
sloss,y
oudonthav
et oprovey
our
l
oveforhi
m byhavingsexwi
thhim Al
ex..
Her
:youar
eri
ght
..
.Idon'
thav
eto.
.
Me:
howi
smom?
Her
:she'
sOK.
.Wemi
ssy
ou.
.
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oo.
.
Her
:Idoubti
t.
..Youonlymi
ssTshepi
e..He'
sthe
onl
yoney ouevercal
l
..
Me:that
'sunfai
r.
..AndIhaven'
tcal
ledhimin.
..
OKmayIdi dcallhi
my est
erdaybutthat
'
s
becausewear ebestfr
iends.
.
Her
:OK.
.Wel
ltel
lmeaboutt
hatwhi
tedude.
.
Me:
ahht
her
e'snot
hingt
otel
l
..
Her
:l
ie.
..Iknowy
ou.
.-ummhl
ookIgatt
ogo.
..
Wil
ltal
k..
Me:
yeahIl
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Shet henhungup,itwasafewhour slateraft
er
thedayIspentwi t
hdad.Iwon'tl
ieIr eall
ydid
enjoytalki
ngwithhim.
.Itwasrefreshingand
nowIwaswi thRayatthebeach..Itwasar ound
sunf al
l.Around4pm..Iwassitt
ingwi thhim as
Leahhadt omakeacal lsosheexcused
herself
..
Hi
m:y
oursi
ster
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:it
sbeaut
if
ulatt
hist
ime.
.ThebeachI
mean.
.

Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
.
Hi
m:ev
eny
ou.
.Youar
ebeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
thanks
Hi
m:havey
oueverblockedyourmi
ndj
ustt
o
st
opthi
nki
ngaboutanythi
ng?
Me:
no.
.Idon'
treal
l
ythi
nkso.
.
Hi
m:i
tsact
ual
l
yni
ce.
..Todoso.
.
Me:
i
sit
?
Him:
yeah.
.Thenever
ythi
ngel
sewillst
op.
.The
whol
ewor l
dwil
lst
opandwhatwi l
lonl
yexi
sti
s
youi
nsoludut
esil
enceandpeace.
.
Me:Ishoul
dstar
tthatpr
acti
ce.
.Iki
nda
sometimeshavealotofshi
ttodealwi
th.
.
Hi
m:suchapr
ett
ygi
rl
..
.
Me:
pret
tygi
rl
sar
etheoneswi
tht
hemostshi
t
t
odealwit
h..
Hi
m:buty
ouar
eal
way
ssmi
l
ingandl
aughi
ng.
.
Me:
mostoft
het
imei
tspr
etence.
.
Hi
m:wel
lIcanr
elat
e..

Hesaidlyi
ngdownonthesandandIf
oll
owed
sui
t.
.Itwasal
readydar
k..
Hi
m:Il
i
kedoi
ngt
his.
.
Me:
met
ohey
..CanIshutmymi
ndnow?

Hejustsmiledashelookedupthesky .Andso
didI.
..Theatmospherewassubtl
e..Andsowas
everythi
ng.
.Peacerul
edthatmomentandI
wisheditcoul
dbelikethatf
orev
er.Wast hat
toomucht oaskfor?
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
**

I
m sor
ryt
heinser
tcamel
ate.
.Wasbusyt
he
whol
eday.
.
[
11/26,19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t18
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Wel aytheretil
lLeahcameback.Justlay
ing
therenotthinki
ngaboutanythi
ng,havi
nga
blankmindwasj ustper
fect
.Weleftt
hereaft
er
awhi l
eandar ri
vingathomewef ounddadand
Lizzydoingabr ai
.Therestoft
henightwewer e
outsideeatingbraiedmeat.Thef ol
l
owingdayI
decidedt ojustst
ayindoorsf ort
hedaywhil
e
Leahwentoutsot owatchpeoplesurf
,shej
ust
l
ov edwat chingpeoplesurfandsometimesshe
wouldj ustcheerthem on.Ilayonmybedand
tookoutmydi ary
..

"
DearDi
ary
SoIhav edeci dedt oforgiveVenus,Ihave
reali
zeditsnotwor t
hi tanyway .Whateverhi
s
reasonscoul dhav epossi bl
ybeenIdon' tcare
anymor e.EvenBandi le,Ihaveforgi
venhi mfor
putti
ngmet hrought hemostt r
aumat i
sing
experienceever .Ihavedeci dedtoli
vemyl if
e
withoutanydr amaat t
ached. "

Iplacedt
hediar
ydownafterwr
it
ingthi
sdown.
Wr i
ti
ngBandi
le'
snamemademet hi
nkabout
thatdoct
oragai
nmakingmewonderwashe
reall
yadoct
or?Nodoubthewasoneof
Bandi l
esgunmanbutt henal l t
hathappened
wasconf using.Whyi sBandi leshowi ngsudden
i
nter estonwhoIhangoutwi th?Asf arasI
knowhewant edtokillmeandi fitwasn'tfor
Set hIdon' tknowwhatcoul dhav ehappened.
Whatcoul dpossi blybehi sgamer i
ghtnow, al
l
thesuddencar i
ng..Butt hent hi
swasBandi l
e,
somehear tlessmonst er.May bei tstimeI
i
nf orm mydadbef oreheabduct smeagai nand
thi
st imeki llmef orreal.Istoodupandwent
overt owat cht hepeopl eatt hebeachf rom my
windowsv iew.Icoul dseeRayf rom wher eI
wasst andi ngev enLeah.It hinkRayal sosaw
mebecausehewav edatmeandIwav edback.
Ithenr etreat edfrom thewi ndowandwent
downst airstoj ustcatchamov iebutIf ound
dadt alkingov erthephoneandhi stonecoul d
easilysel loutt hathewassomad.
Him:
that'
swhyIhatewor ki
ngwit
himmat ures!
Coul
dn'tyougetonethingcorr
ect
?Callthat
sout
hAf r
icanguy,
Ithi
nkhe'smoreorganized
thanany.
.-
greati
fhe'
sher
e..Iwantt
oseehi
m
and..-

Het
henst
oppedwhenhesawme.
.

Hi
m:wi
l
ltal
k..
Thenhehungup.

Hi
m:hi
baby
..
Me:
mor
ning.
.
Hi
m:shoul
dn'
tyoubewi
thy
ourf
ri
ends.
Me:
Iwasn'
tfeel
i
ngl
i
kegoi
ngout
door
stoday
..
Hi
m:ohh.
.
Me:
arey
ouok?
Hi
m:don'
twor
ry,
daddyi
sok.
.j
ustwor
k..
Inodded.
.
Him:butanywaysi
nceyouareherelet
'stal
k
aboutuniver
sit
ybaby
..
Ihavebeenlookingi
ntoa
few.
.yousaidyouwanttost
udylawr i
ght?
Me:
yes.
.
Him:
well
..Ihavebeenlooki
ngintoafew
uni
ver
sit
ieslikeHarvar
d,Iheari
tsareal
lygood
uni
ver
sit
ybaby ..
it
'soneofthebestand.
.-
Hewascutbyt
hedoor
,t
her
ewasaknock.
.
Me:
don'
twor
ry.
.Iwi
l
lgeti
t.
.
Isai
dwalkingtothedoor
,openi
ngIf
oundRay
l
eaningagainstt
hedoor.
Me:
ohhwel
lhey
..
Hi
m:wannagoout
?
Me:
I'
m n.
.-
Hi
m:I
'
m nott
aki
ngnof
orananswer
..
Me:
Ray
..
Hedi dn'
tevenwaitformetof i
nishmy
sentencehehadal r
eadyscoopedmeonhis
shoulder.
Hestar
tedwalkingtowardst
hebeach.
.
Me:
youcanputmedownnow.
.
Hi
m:soy
oucanr
unaway
?
Me:
comeonNo.
.Iwon'
trunaway
..
Ipr
omi
se.
.

Heputmedownandwest
art
edwal
ki
ng
t
owardst
hebeach.
.
Hi
m:i
twaspr
ett
ybor
ingwi
thouty
ou.
.
Me:
wasi
t?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
teachmehowt
osur
f.
.
Him:
Icar
eaboutyour
..Idon'
twantt
obe
char
gedwit
hMurder.
.
Me:
comeon.
.
Hi
m:ser
iousl
y.
.Youknowwhat
..
let
'sgr
aba
mi
l
kshake.
Me:
towncent
er?
Hi
m:y
ouar
esmar
t.
.
Me:
i
tsi
nmybl
ood.
.

Wet henchangedr out

esandwentt owherehis
carwaspar kedat.Hedroveust othetown
centerandweboughtmi lkshakeinthi
sother
restaurant.Hethentookmet othisother
stonesbehi ndtheshopswer eyoucouldgeta
viewoft hebeach..
Me:wow!
Ididn'
tknowy
oucanst
il
lseet
he
beachwhi
lsther
e..
Hi
m:y
oucanact
ual
l
y..Smal
ltown.
.
Me:
yeah.
.sowher
edoy
ouwor
korschool
?
Hi
m:apar
tfr
om bei
ngasur
ferI
'
m amechani
c..
Me:
Wow!I
sitni
cebei
ngamechani
c?
Hi
m:i
tsmypassi
onsoIguessi
tis.
.
Me:
wel
lIwannabeal
awy
er.
.
Hi
m:why
?
Me:
becauseIj
ustl
ovei
tIguess.
.
Hi
m:whi
chki
ndofl
awy
er?
Me:
cri
minal
lawy
er.
.
Hi
m:wi
thy
ourt
inyv
oice?
Me:
hey
!
Isai
dhi
tt
inghi
m pl
ayf
ull
yonhi
sshoul
der
..
Hi
m:what
?it
'st
het
rut
h..
Me:
myt
inyv
oicecandowonder
s..
Hi
m:Ibeti
tcan,
sot
hati
8guy
..
who'
she?
Me:
anEx.
.
Hi
m:per
sist
entex?
Me:
no,
notexact
ly.
.
Hi
m:soy
ousi
ngl
eri
ghtnow?
Me:
yeah.
.Idon'
tthi
nkr
elat
ionshi
psar
eforme
Him:j
ustbecauseofaf
ail
edr el
ati
onshi
pit
doesn'
tpossibl
ymeantherestcanbeasbad.
Me:
hewasmyf
ir
stboy
fri
end.
.
Hi
m:what
?Li
kef
ir
stasi
nfi
rst
?
Me:
yeah.
.andhebr
okemyhear
t.
.
Hi
m:l
etmeguess,
youar
eal
soav
irgi
n?
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m: Ican'tbel
i
evethi
s..
whatar
eyouwai
ti
ng
f
or?princecharmi
ng?
Me:
I.
.Idon'
tknow.
.
Hi
m:OK.
.Sowhenar
eyougoi
ngbackt
oschool
?
Me:
thi
sismyt
hir
dweekher
e,nextweeki
smy
l
ast
..
Hi
m:ok,
whatar
eyourdr
eamsi
fyoudon'
tmi
nd
measki
ng.
.
Me:
well
getmydegr
ee,bet
hebestl
awyerout
t
her
emay beev
enopenmyownlawfir
m,get
mar
ri
edandhave2ki
dsyour
s?
Hi
m: bethebestsurf
eroutt
her
e,openmyown
mechaniccompany,dat
ethemostbeaut
if
ulgi
rl
ev
er,
wifeherthenhaveki
ds.
.
Me:
that
'sani
cepl
an.
.
Hi
m: i
tis,
butIt
hinkdat
ingt
hemostbeaut
if
ulgi
rl
wi
llcomef i
rst
..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ok,
Isee.
.
Hi
m:lookIwantt
odoort
otr
ysomet
hingbut
pl
easedon'
tfr
eak
Me:
ok.
.
Hetookmymi l
kshakefr
om myhandsand
pl
aceditdownincl
udi
nghis.Thenl
ookedat
me..
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:not
alki
ng.
.
Inodded.
.
Hebr
oughthi
sheadcl
osert
omi
neunt
ilIcoul
d
possi
blyf
eel
hisbr
eat
hgent
lyhi
tmyl
i
ps.
.
Me:
ummhi
-
Hi
m:shhh.
.not
alki
ng.
.
Hewhi speredsoftl
yfol
lowedbyhisli
psthat
gentlyt
ouchedmyl i
ps,
Ifr
ozeri
ghtthere.
.he
ni
bbledmyl i
pssoftl
ymakingmeshor t
enmy
breaththenlast
lyIpart
edmyl i
psandjustgave
i
n.Wesl owlyki
ssedenjoyi
ngever
ymoment .
Afterawhi l
ehepulledout.
.
Hi
m:t
hatwentwel
l
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m: Ihav
ealwayssuspect
edyouwer
egood
ki
sserandyoujustpr
ovedit
..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
ltaket
hatasacompl
i
ment
..
Hi
m:andf
ort
her
ecor
d,I
'
m al
sosi
ngl
e..
Me:
wear
eleadi
ngt
hesi
ngl
esquad.
.
Hi
m:y
es,
butwecanal
way
schangei
t.
.Il
i
key
ou.
.
Me:
I.
..
Him:youdonthav et
osayanythingyet,
Leah
explai
nedt omethatyouhavejustbeenina
roughrelati
onshi
psoI'
m notgoingtobethat
pressur
isingguy.
.
Me:
Ireal
l
yappr
eci
atet
hat
..
Hi
m:soI
'
mjustgoi
ngt
ogi
vey
out
imet
othi
nk.
.

Inodded,hekissedmeagai nbutt
histi
memuch
morepassi onatel
ythatIhel
dhisheadpul
li
ng
hi
m closer.Wegotdi stur
bedbyhisphone
ri
nging.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryaboutt
his.
Me:
not
akei
t.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.
Heanswer
edthephoneasIkeptmysel
fbusy
wit
hmyphoneandafterawhi
lehedroppedt
he
cal
l.
.
Hi
m:ummht
hatwasmyf
ri
end,
Mar
cus.
.
Me:
weshoul
dgobackt
othebeach?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
ok.
.l
et'
sgo.
.
Hehelpedmeupandwentt ot
hecar
,t
hendrove
back.Whenwegotthere,
theywer
ebigwavesat
thebeacht
hataccor
dingtomewouldkil
lyou.
.
Hi
m:Ihav
ebeenWai
ti
ngf
ort
his.
.
Me:
youwantt
o..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.l
etmeshowy
ouwhatIcando.
.
Hesai dtakinghissurf
ingboardfrom thecar
andr unningtothebeach..Iwatchedhim getin
thewat erandgoi ngt
owar dst
hewav ej ustl
ike
othersurfersweredoing.AsIwasst il
lstanding
thereIfeltwarm handshugmef rom behind
andIwasmor ethansureitwasLeah. .
Me:
heyLeah.
.
Her
:howdi
dyouknow?
Me:
Iknowmyf
ri
endmor
ethanany
thi
ng.
.
Shelaughedlet
ti
ngmegoandcomi
ngt
ost
and
besi
desme. .
Her
:so?
Me:
so?
Her
:Ray
..
Me:
ohhweki
ssed.
.
Shescr
eamed.
.
Her
:doest
hismen?
Me:
no.
.i
tst
oosoon.
.
Her
:Iagr
ee.
.butRayi
sagoodguy
..
Il
ookedovertohi
m ashecaughtthewaveand
stooduponhissur
fi
ngboarddoingwhathe
knowsbest,
hewasreal
l
ygood..
Me:maybebuti
tsst
il
lsoon.
.pl
usdi
stance.
.He
st
ayshere.
.
Her
:sowhat
?ther
e'ssomet
hingcal
l
edadi
stant
r
elat
ionshi
p..
Me:Ir
eal
l
ydon'
tknow.
.Ij
ustneedt
othi
nkabout
i
t.
.
Her
:t
hatsall
any
wayhe'
ssosexy
..
lookathi
s
muscl
es..
Me:
I'
m nott
urni
ngi
ntoaper
vet
..
Her:
sui
tyour
sel
f.
.Letmeenj
oyt
hev
iew.
.Ibet
he'
sgoodinbed.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
I'
mtel
l
ingBr
ad.
.
Lat
eronthatdayIwaswi
thLeahi
nmyr
oom
j
usttal
ki
ng.
Her
:t
odaywast
hebestday
..
Me:becauseyougott
hechanceofdr
ool
i
ng
ov
ert heguywholi
kesme?
Her
:don'
ttel
lyouwer
en'
t?
Me:
ali
tt
le.
.
Her:
thoughtasmuch. .Butany wayont hemor e
goodsideBradcal l
edandhesai dhecomi ngt o
seemet oday.
.Likeheal r
eadybookedapl ane
yest
erdayandhet ookiti
nt hemor ni
ng..SoI
thi
nkhewi l
lbeher eanymi nutesoI'm goingto
needsomeonet ocov erupf orme..Idon'twant
yourdadthi
nking..Youknow. .
Me:
don'
twor
ryIgoty
ou.
.
Her
:yeahandBar
rycal
l
ed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:she'
smad.
.Atus
Me:
onecoul
dtakeaguess.
.Iwi
l
ltal
ktoher
t
omorr
ow
Her
:bet
terandal
soBen.
.
Me:It
hinkyouwi
l
lmakeav
erygoodPer
sonal
assi
stant
..
Her
:don'
tbecr
azy
..
let
'sgoeat
..
I'
mfami
shed.
.
Shesaidasshewalkedout,
Ifoll
owedhert
othe
di
ningroom wher
ewef oundLizzyanddad
al
readyeat
ing.
.
Me:
youguy
sshoul
dhav
ecal
l
edus.
.
Dad:
youknewwewereeat
ingsothere'
sno
needt
oactual
l
yactl
i
kethatpumpkin..
Me:
Iknowy
ouwant
edt
oeatal
lthef
ood.
.
Hel
aughed.
.
Wesatdownandst
art
edeat
ing.
.
Li
zzy:
soIwasthi
nki
ng,gi
rl
sthatwegoout.
.l
ike
asint
akeawalkint
othewoods..
wit
hadigi
tal
camerasandhav
eanadventur
e..
Me:
soundsgr
eat
Leah:
yeah.
.Il
i
kei
t
Dad:
youguy
swi
l
lhav
efun.
.Icanguar
ant
eey
ou
t
hat
Me:
younotcomi
ng?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.ImeanIdon'
twantt
ofeel
awkwar
d
whenI'
mtheonlymale.
.whati
fyouguy
sst
art
t
alki
ngaboutst
il
ett
osthenwhatnow?
Me:
ok.
.Igetyourpoi
nt.
.sowhatt
imear
ewe
l
eav
ingforthi
swalk?
Li
zzy
:i
nthemor
ning.
.
Leah:
butai
n'
tther
epr
edat
orsi
nthewoods?
Li
zzy
:no.
.andt
hat
swhywehi
redagui
det
otake
us
Me:t
hat
'sbet
ter
..Youseem t
ohav
ethi
sal
l
f
igur
edout.
.
Dad:
ummhIhav
eav
isi
tort
hat
sgoi
ngt
obe
comi
ng.
.
Li
zzy:y
oucouldhav
esai
ditsoonsot
opr
epar
e
enoughfood.
.
Dad:
no.
.i
tsbusi
nessnotasoci
alv
isi
t.
.
Li
zzy
:ohhok.
.

Dadt
henexcusedhi
msel
fsay
inghehasa
i
mpor
tantcal
ltomake.
Me:
Ithi
nkt
omor
rowi
sgoi
ngt
obef
un
Leah:
yeah.
.Ican'
twai
tthough.
.
Lizzy:
sowhathav
eyoubeengi
rl
sget
ti
ngupt
o
thisdays?
Leah:
watchi
ngpeopl esurf
..
wel
lthat
'
swhatI
havebeendoing.
.Idontknowaboutother
peopl
e..
Me:
l
olandwhatot
herpeopl
e?
Leah:
Idon'
tknow.
.y
ou?
Me:
wel
lIhav
ebeenmaki
ngf
ri
ends.
.
Li
zzy
:fr
iendsIsee.
.soy
ouandt
hatpl
anetboy
..
Me:
webr
okeup.
.
Li
zzy
:ohI
'
m sor
rysweet
hear
t.
.
Me:i
tsokplusi
tsnotl
ikeIwasexpect
inga
weddingorsomet
hingli
kethat
Li
zzy
:ok.
.
Leah:
youaret
hest
rongestper
sonIhav
eev
er
seenKri
s..
Me:Ioughtt
obe, Ican'
tst
opmyl
i
febecauseof
afail
edrel
ati
onship..
Li
zzy
:sowhataboutpr
om?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ohav
etof
orgett
hatone.
.
Leah:
howabouty
oubecomemydat
e?
Me:
andBr
ad?
Leah:
he'
snotsurei
fhewil
lmakeit
,appar
ent
ly
hewil
lbeatschool
..
uni
ver
sit
ygothim
swamped..
Me:t
hat
ssad,
butwhati
fhemanagest
omake
i
t?
Leah:
noti
fIt
ell
him nott
obot
her
..
Me:
no.
.Leah.
.i
-
Her
:I
'm nott
aki
ngnof
orananswer
..
Me:
Idon'
twanty
out
osacr
if
icey
our
-
Her
:not
hingi
sbei
ngsacr
if
iced.
..Ok?
Me:
ok.
.
Shesmiled..
.Aft
ereat
ing,wewashedt
he
di
shesthenwentt ooursepar
ater
ooms.It
ook
ashowerbef or
elyi
ngonmybed.AsIwasst i
l
l
tr
yingt
osl eep,
Leahcr
eptinmyroom..
Her
:Br
adi
sher
e..
att
hebeach.
.
Me:
ohhok.
.so?
youcango.
.
Her
:al
lthewindowshav
ebur
glar
sexpectwel
l
t
hetoi
letone..
Me:
whi
chbat
hroom?
Me:
ther
ear
etwobat
hrooms.
.Whi
chone?
Her
:t
heoneweuse.
.

Thebat
hroom weusewasdownt
hepassage.
.
Me:
okl
et'
sgo.
.
Iwor
emygown, t
henwewentt
othebat
hroom.
.
Shegotoutbyst
eppi
ngt
hebasi
n.
Me:cal
lmewheny oucomebackthen..
youcan'
t
possi
blycomebackinthr
ought
hewi ndow
agai
n..
Her
:yeah.
..
Iwi
l
lneedy
out
oopent
hedoor
..
Me:
yeah.
.okby
e..
Ithencl osedt hewindowandwal kedoutoft he
bat hroom goi ngtomyr oom.Ithrewmybody
ont hebedandj ustcl osedmyey es.Ifellasl
eep
butgotwokenupbyt hecoldbreezet hatwas
hit
t i
ngmyski n.Inoticedoneoft hewi ndowsi n
myr oom wer eopen, soIst oodupandcl osedi
t
butbef oregoingbackt obedIdeci dedt ogo
drinkwat erdownst airs.Itwasn'tthatlate
though, itwasar ound2200hr s.
.Idraggedmy
l
egsdownst airstot heki t
chen,butonmyway
backt omyr oom Inot icedmydad' sst udyroom
doorwassl i
ght l
yopen.Cur i
osit
ygott hebestof
met hatIpeepedi nt oseewhowasi n.Fora
momentthereIthoughtmyey esweredecei
ving
methatIopenedthedoorf ul
l
yandourey es
met
.Hedi dn'
tl
ooksur pr
isedatal
l.
Me:
whatt
hehel
l
?
Hi
m:st
opmaki
ngnoi
se!
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eBandi
l
e?
Hi
m:I
'
m nother
efory
ou.
.
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngi
nmyf
ather
'sst
udy
r
oom?
Him:
notyourbusi
nessbutany
waywhydon'
t
youasky
ourfather
?

Ilookedathi m..
andhej ustl
ookedl i
kethe
samecol dmonst erheis..myhear twasbeati
ng
sof astthatIsweari fIdonthav eaheartat
tack
todayt henIwill
nev erhav eone..hesatt
here
l
ooki ngatme, mor eli
keanalysingme. .
Hi
m:ar
eyougoi
ngt
ost
andt
her
efor
ever
?
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Hi
m:andwhywoul
dIwantany
thi
ng?
Me:becausey
ouareamonst
er!
doyouknow
howmuchIhat ey
ou?Iwi
shyoucr
ushanddi
e!
Hi
m:somuchhat
e..
Me:
youdon'
tdeser
vet
obebr
eat
hing.
.
Hi
m:t
henki
l
lme.
.
Hetookourhisgun,
andforamomentther
emy
hear
tstopped.Thesi
ghtofagunt
err
if
iedme
morethananythi
ng.
.
Hi
m:t
ake,
ki
ll
me.
.
Me:that
sy ourdoi
ng,
notmi
ne.
.t
hat
'
swhaty
ou
do.
.kil
lpeople.
.
Hi
m:andwhot
hef
uckhav
eIev
erki
l
ledKr
is?
Me:
whoknows.
.
Him:
thenst
opsay
ingshi
tyoudontknowbef
ore
Iact
uall
ygi
vey
ouarealr
easontosayit
..
Ifel
tt earsalreadyst reami ng,seei nghi m
broughtsomanyf eelingsIhav ebeent r
yingto
deal awaywi th.Iwal kedoutl eavinghi mt here..
Iwonderhowpeopl el ikehi m ar eev enal i
v e,
he
deser vestobebur ningi nhel l becauset hat '
s
wher ehebel ongs.Iwal kedt omyr oom andj ust
l
ayonmybedwi thmyheadonmypi l
low.Iwas
tryi
ngnott ocry ,
andj ustl etgo.It ookdeep
breathesasIst oodup.Ir efuset ocr yandhur t
.I
walkedt othebat hroom andwashedmyf ace.I
thendr iedmyf aceandputsomef unnyf aces
ont hemi r
rorthenendi ngupl aughi ng.WhenI
walkedbackt omyr oom If oundhi m seatedon
mybedandi tseemsl ikehewaswai tingf orme.
Me:
getout
..
Hi
m:doy
ouev
err
elax?
chi
l
l?j
ustbr
eat
hok
Ichuckl
edbutnotaf
ri
endl
ychuckl
e..
Me:Inev
erchi
l
l,
nowbef
oreIscr
eam r
apeget
out
..
Hi
m:goahead,
I
'm notst
oppi
ngy
ou.
.
Hesai
dmaki
nghi
msel
fcomf
ort
abl
eonmybed.
.
Me:It
hinkIshoul
dputuparest
rai
ningor
der
andtel
ldadwhowasr eal
l
ybehi
ndmy
ki
dnapping.Whatt
heheckar
eyoudoingher
e?
Him:goaheadandtel
lhi
m butI
'
m sureSet
htol
d
youthedeal,
andl
astl
yIwashereonbusi
ness
wit
hy ourdad.
.
Ij
ustl
ookedathi
m..
Hi
m:t
hisi
sgoi
ngt
obehar
dert
hanIt
hought
..
Hesaidstandi
ngupandwal
ki
ngtowardsme,
I
backedupunti
lmybackwasagai
nstt
hewall
..
Him:l
ookI'
m notgoi
ngt
ohur
tyouok.
.Iact
ual
l
y
careabouty
ou..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
car
e?Aboutme?
Il
aughedagai
n..
Me:
youar
esohi
l
ari
ous,
howabouty
ou
consi
derwor
kingwi
thTr
evorNoah?
youguy
s
wil
lmakeameanTeam..
Hi
m:I
'
m pr
ett
yser
ious.
.
Me:
yeah.
.Ibety
ouar
e..
Heputhishandsonhi
sFacehel
ooked
f
rust
rat
ed..
Him:
IknowI
'
mthewor
stper
sony
ouwantt
o
see.
.
Me:t
hat
stheonlyt
hingthatmakessensey
ou
hav
eeversai
d..
andIdontwanttoseeyou.
.
Hi
m:I'
m nother
eexact
lyf
ory
ourdad.
.I
'
m her
e
f
oryouactual
ly
..
Me:
me?
wow.
.
Him:noser
iousl
y.
.Yourdadwasmygat
epass
here.
.
Me:whatareyousayi
ng?Thatal
lthewayf
rom
sout
hAf r
icayouact
uall
ycametoseeme?why
areyoubeingli
ket
his?
Hi
m:yeah.
.al
lthewayf
rom sout
hAfri
catoher
e
j
ustt
oseey ou,t
omakesur
ey ouar
esafe..
Me:
saf
e?
Hi
m:f
rom y
ourki
l
li
ngex.
.
Me:Venusisnotgoi
ngtoki
ll
me..Idon'
tev
en
underst
andwhat'
sgoingonher
e..Whythe
suddencare?
Him:
Iwi
shIknew.
.Ij
ustf
eell
ikecar
ing.
.Imi
ght
beamonst
erli
keyousaybutI'
m al
sohuman.
Me:
arey
oucr
azy
?
Hi
m:y
ep.
.
Me:
Ihav
enot
iced.
.Idon'
tev
en.
.-

Hest oppedmebycr ushinghislipsonmi ne,for

amomentt hereever
ythi
ngj uststopped,my
heartstopped.Al
lmyener gyjustdissolv
edright
ther
e, t
hiswasdiffer
entfrom anykissIhave
everhadev enwithVenus.Itwasnev erli
kethis,
histouchwasj ustdi fferentf rom anythi
ngI
haveev erexperienced, hebr oughtourbodies
closertoeachot herashecl aimedmyl i
ps,
therewasj ustthisfeelingIcoul dn'
texplai
n,
event hehateIhav ef orhi mj ustdisappeared,I
don'tknowwhatIf elttowar dshi m buti
twas
definatl
ynothat redthatoneIwassur eof.I
don'tknowhowbuti nv oluntaryIkissedhim
backasIhel dont ohim, thi
ski ssgotmeweak
i
nsecondst hatmyl egsf eltwobbl e.Hepulled
outaf t
erawhi l
e..
Hi
m:andthat,
thati
sther easonwhyim here
Kr
ist
in,
that
'sthecr
azinessthathasgotteni
nto
me..

Ijustl
ookedathim,wi
thtr
embli
nghandsand
mymi ndallovert
hepl
ace.Ev
eryt
hingwasj
ust
fuzzy,
helookedatme..
Hi
m:Idon'
twantt
ohur ty
ou,
neverdoIever
wannahur
tyoubecauseoft
hecrazi
nessthat
'
s
i
nmyhear
t.
.

Hest il
lhadmeinhi
sarms,Idon'
tknowwhat
happenedbutIwokeuponmybedwi th
someonehi t
ti
ngmywindow.Igotupandwent
tolook,i
twasLeah.
.
Iwentdownstai
rsandopenedf
orher
,itwas
st
il
ldarkout
side.
.Wewalkedbackt
omyr oom.
.
Her
:t
hanks.
.
Ever
ythi
ngthathappenedwit
hBandil
esti
l
l
regi
ster
edi
nmymi nd,f
orsomereasonIwas
hopi
ngitwasadr eam..
Me:
whatt
imei
sit
?
Her:
around4,j
eezyouaresmel
l
ingsome
st
rongcolognether
e..
Me:
Iam?
Isni
ffedmysel
fandthi
sishowhesmelt
yest
erday
,mymi ndcoul
dhavebeenal
lovert
he
pl
acebutIsmel
thi
m..
Her
:what
sgoi
ngon?Youl
ookf
lushed.
.
Me:t
hat
'sthepr
obl
em.
.Ial
sodon'
tknowwhat
'
s
goi
ngon..

AndtobehonestIdi
dn'
tknowwhatwasgoi
ng
on,
confusi
onwasbeyondthest
ateIwasi
n..
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Max:
soIsee.
.Youhav
echosent
ost
artwar
..
Me:
Ican'
thel
pitIl
oveher
..I
sitwrongthatI
l
oveher
?Itshoul
dn'
tbeawrongthingt
obein
l
ovewit
hsomeone..
Hi
m:t
heny
oubet
terst
artpr
epar
ingf
ort
hewar
andonethingIknowi
s..I
tsnotgoi
ngt
obe
rosesandsweets.
.
Me:
wecanal
way
sbeRomeoandJul
i
et.
.
Hi
m:y
ouhav
efal
l
endeepl
yhav
en'
tyou?
Me:
may
bet
odeept
hanIt
hought
..
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/26,19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t19
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Iwaswi
pingmybodyi
nthebat
hroom af
ter
standingintheshowerf ormorethan30
mi nutes.
Iwasj ustt
ryi
ngtogetmymi ndov er
whathappened, i
twasjustconfusi
ng..Aft
erall
thisisBandile,andattheotherhandIhadRay
todeal with.
.Iwal kedoutofthebathroom to
fi
ndLeahseat edonmybed, al
lreadydressed
upi ncamouf lageshorts,sol
derbootsanda
camouf l
agetop.
Her
:t
ake.
.
Shesaidhandi
ngmesomecamouflage
tr
ouser,
topandal
soacamouf
lagehoody.
.and
solder
sboots.
Me:
whyar
ewedr
essi
ngl
i
kesol
der
s?
Her:whydoy ouhavetoquesti
onthat,
i
ts
cl
othes.
.andIfoundthi
sony ourbed.
.
Shesai
dgi
vi
ngmesomebl
ackhoody
..It
ooki
t.
.
Her
:whoi
sitf
or?
Me:
ummh.
.I
..
Idon'
tknow.
.
Her
:may
bei
tsRay
,may
beheputi
tsecr
etl
yon
y
ourbed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.may
be.
.
Her
:l
etmel
eav
eyout
odr
essup.
.
Shewalkedoutoft heroom,t
herewasnoway
thi
shoodywasRay 's,
howcouldhehave
possi
blysnuckitin.Ihel
ditt
omynose, smelti
t
anditwasBandile..Nodoubt.Iwentt
hrough
thepocketswhenIcameacr ossapaper .
.I
openeditanditwassomet hi
ngl i
kealet
ter.
"Youf ellasleepy est
er daysoIt uckyoui n
obv i
ousl y,I
'm secr etlyhopingy oureadt his
l
etter.I'
m notr eallygoodatt elli
ngpeopl eIl ove
them sodontl augh..Iknowi tscrazybutIt hinkI
l
ov ey ou, dontst opr eadingpl ease.IknowIput
yout hroughal otandIknowy ouhatemebut
whenEnhl esentmey ourpicturetheot her
day ,
andI ..l
ookIdontknowwhatI '
m wr i
ting..I'
m
badatt hisfrom hi ghschool ..Ijustl
ov ey ou
ok,andIcar eabouty out hat'swhyIwor rya
l
ot..andi tstings,thatmay bey ouar eintosome
guywi thawei rdnameoutt her e.Mylov efor
youbringsal otofcompl icationsorev enmy
owndeat hbutI'm will
ingt odi eoverourl ove,at
l
eastIwi llknowt hatIdiedf orl ove..
atleastthat
won'thur tknowingt hatIdiedbecauseIl oved
you..
Ileftmynumberi nyourphone, i
fy oufeel
thesamewayt hatIhighlydoubty oucan
call
..
any t
ime..Ireallydon'tmi ndandi fyou
don't
.t
hatIknow. i
t'sstil
lok..butIwi l
lnev erstop
cari
ngabouty ou..andpleaset rykeepingsaf e..
Wi
thl
ove
Bandi
l
e..
Ohhandbef oreIfor
getyoucankeepthejacket
..
Andpleasestayawayfrom tr
oubl
e..Youseem
toat
tr
actal otthi
sdaysandstaythefuckaway
fr
om Ray..
he'sbadnews,tr
ustme..
"
Ifoundmysel
flaughi
ng,evenift
hiswasal et
ter
butitdi
dsoundGenuine..Bandi
leisreal
l
ynot
thetypewhowouldconfesshisfeeli
ngsli
ke
thi
s,wel
lmaybeaccordi
ngt ohowIv i
ew
hi
m, andont opofitIhav
enev erseenhim
smile..Helookssocoldandhi m wr i
ti
ng
somet hingli
kethi
swasf unny .
.Ir
e-r
eadthe
l
etterov erandoveragai
n..Ionlyshovedit
behindmewhent hedoorcr ackopenandLeah
emer ged..
Her:
Iseey
oust i
l
l hol
dingthatj
acket
,butl
ook
Raycanwait
..Dressup..
Me:
yeah.
.
Shet henwalkedoutagain..Itookthelet
terand
placeditcareful
l
yinthecamouf l
agehoodyI
wassupposedt owear,placedhi sj
acket
carefull
yonmycl ot
hest hendr essedup.Iwent
downst ai
rswhereIfoundLi zzypackingfood
andwat erintosomecamouf l
agebags, t
hebags
usuallysol
dersuse.
Me:
thi
sisgoi
ngt
obef
unIcanf
eel
it.
.
Li
zzy
:met
oo.
.eatupandl
et'
sgo.
.
Isatdownandst
art
edeat
ing,
aft
ereat
ingwe
wer
ereadyt
oleav
ing.
.
Me:
wher
e'sdad?
Her
:wentoutear
ly.
.
Me:
ok.
.
It
ookmyphoneanddial
edhi
snumber
,he
pi
ckedupaf
terawhi
l
e..
Hi
m:dad'
spr
incess.
.
Me:
mor
ningdad,
ummhwel
eav
ingnow.
.
Hi
m:okpumpki
n..Begood.
.
Me:
Ili
kepr
incessmor
enotpumpki
ndad!
Him:
okpri
ncess,
Iwi
llseey
ouguyswheny
ou
comeback.
.pl
easet
rytobesaf
e..
Me:
thi
sisat
hesecondt
imey
ouar
esay
ing
t
hat
..
Hi
m:i
tsbecauseIcar
ebaby
..
Ilov
eyouok.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.by
e.
ThenIdr
oppedt
hecal
l
..
Li
zzy
:daddy
'sbaby
..
Leah:
Iagr
ee.
.
Me:itsj
ustt
hatIneverreal
l
ygottospendt
ime
withmydadl i
kethi
sandIliket
ocheri
shever
y
secondIhavewithhim bef
oret
hedist
ance
begins.
.
Li
zzy
:I
'm sor
ryhun.
.
Me:l
ikeIwi
llbegoi
ngt
ouni
ver
sit
y..AndGod
knowsI'
m exci
ted.
.
Leah:
met
oo.
.Ican'
twai
t.
.
Li
zzy
:youguy
shav
egr
own.
..
Me:
yeah.
.l
et'
sgo.
.
Isaidwalki
ngout .
..Ial
mostbumpedi ntothis
otherwoman, shelookedtoobuffytobea
womanandt ojustconcludethewhol eissue
shelookedabi tscary,
hadshortbrushcut
hair
..
andmuscl esthoughIcouldn'tmisplace
herbeautywhensmi l
edbecauseIl i
teral
lyisaw
herdimples.Shewaswear i
ngli
keus. .
.
Her
:youmustbeKr
ist
inI
'
m Zay
lee
Me:
i
tsni
cet
omeety
ouLee.
.
Her
:l
ikewi
seKr
is.
.
Ismil
edwi
thher
..
that
'swhenLi
zzycameout
wit
hLeah.
.
Li
zzy
:hi
youmustbeourgui
de?
Lee:
yes,
youmustEl
i
zabet
handt
hat
'
sLeah.
.
Leah:
yeah.
.
Me:wel
lLeahandLi
zzy
..seemsyougatafr
iend
whosenicknamest
art
swi thanL.
.t
hisi
sZaylee
butcal
lherLee.
.
Lee:
Il
ovef
reespi
ri
tedpeopl
eli
key
ouKr
is.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:wel
lI'
m gl
adandIt
ry,
let
'sr
ockandr
oll
guy
s..
Li
zzy
:wai
t,api
ctur
e..
Shegav
eeachandev
ery
oneadi
git
alcamer
a
i
ncl
udi
ngLee.
.
Leetookusapi cturewit
ht hecamer ashewas
gi
ven..Afterawhi lewewer ealreadygett
ingon
wit
hourj ourney,Itri
edtobeact iveal
waysbut
deepdownmymi ndwasj ustfarawaybutI
coul
dn'taffordtogi vet
hatI'm notokaway .
Aft
erforwal ki
ngabout30mi nuteswestopped
atsomer iver,
Iwassot ir
ed..
Leah:
I'
m sot
ir
edandt
hir
sty
..
Li
zzy
:ther
e'swat
eri
nyourbags.
.
Itookoffmyshoesandplacedmylegsi
nthe
water.Idi
dn'
treal
i
zethatLeewasbesi
desme
unti
lsheshookmeabi t.
.
Her
:youseem l
osti
nyourownt
hought
s..
Me:
I'
mtr
yingt
ofi
gur
eouti
fI'
m cr
azyornot
..
Her
:whati
sit
?lov
emat
ter
s?
Me:
whywoul
dyousayt
hat
?
Her
:i
tcan'
tbeany
thi
ngel
sebecausey
oudon'
t
haveachil
dt oworr
yaboutorpeoplewho
dependony oufi
nanci
all
ysother
e'sonl
yone
thi
ngthatcouldbedri
vi
ngyouinsane.
.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Her:
I'
m notreal
l
ygoodatl
ovematter
sbut
whateveri
tisdowhaty
ourhear
tsays.
.
Me:
thehear
tissai
dnott
obet
rust
ed.
.
Her
:yeah.
.buty
oudontwanttol
iv
ebei
nregr
et
f
ortherestofyourl
i
fedoyou?
Il
ookedather ,yeswhatshewassay i
ngmade
sensebutmyhear tl
oathedBandile,
Idi
dhat
e
him butdeepdownIcoul dn'tr
eall
ymakeout
howIf el
t.Ihatedhim,andthatcouldn'
t
change..
Icouldn'tl
eti
tchange..
Her
:comeher
e..
Shesaidopeni
ngherar
ms.
.Igoti
nher
embrace.
.
Me:
ever
ythi
ngi
sjustwr
ong.
.
Her:someti
mesy ouhavetolettheuni
versejust
takecharge.
.youcan'
tal
way sfi
gureout
everythi
ng.
.Looksweetysomet i
mesifthings
arenotinyourcontr
olyoujusthavetol
ett hem
be..
Inodded,
Ipul
ledoutofthehugaft
erIheard
someoneclearthei
rthr
oat.I
twasLizzy
..
Li
zzy
:ev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
yeah.
.l
etmewearmyshoes.
.
Isaidseati
ngdownt hent heywalkedaway .
.I
woremyshoesandj ustthoughtaboutwhat
Leejustsai
d.Itdidn'tevenmakesenset ome..I
tookoutthelett
eragai n,r
eaditagainIwanted
tothrowiti
nt heri
v ersot hatIcanjustf
orget
him butIj
ustshov editinmypocket
nonethel
ess.Itur
nedt otheot her
swhower e
readytoconti
nuewi t
ht hejourney.
.
Li
zzy
:babyar
eyousur
eyouar
eok?
Me:
I'
m per
fect
!
Li
zzy
:oky
ougoodLeah?
Leah:
yeah.
.
Li
zzy
:okl
et'
sgo.
.
West ar
tedwalki
ngagain,t
akingpict
uresallt
he
way.Itwasfun,
whenwegott otheedgeofthe
tr
ailwehavebeenfol
lowing,Icouldseethe
beachbutnotwherethepeopleareusuallyat
..
Me:
Ihav
eal
way
swant
edt
odoseadi
vi
ng.
.
Lee:wear
everymuchhi
ghf
rom t
heseasoi
n
otherwor
ds.
.
Me:
i
tsdanger
ous.
.
Lee:
yeah.
.onl
ypr
ofessi
onal
seadi
ver
scandoi
t.
.
Leah:
plusy
oudonotknowhowt
oswi
m..
Me:
youguy
shav
ebeent
eachi
ngme.
.
Her
:wi
thoutal
i
fej
ackety
ouwi
l
ldr
own.
.
Me:
ok,
poi
ntpr
oven.
.
Wet ookpi ctur es..Alotoft hem. .
west ay ed
ther
ef orsomet imeunt i
l wef i
nal
lydeci dedto
gobackhome. .Thej ourneybackhomewas
muchmor esl ower .Byt hetimewear r
iv edat
homeIcoul dn' tfeelmyl egs..I
mmedi at el
y
gett
inghomeIwentt omyr oom andsl ept,
that
's
howmucht i
r edIwas.Iwokeupl aterwheni t
wasal readydar k.Iwal kedt othebathroom,
fi
ll
edt hebat ht ubandj ustsatt hererelaxingmy
achingbody ..Af terbat hingIchangedi nt omy
Pj'
st henwentdownst airs.
Leah:bel
i
evei
tornot
,af
tersl
eepi
ngI
'
m st
il
l
ti
red.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.
Li
zzy
:thatwal
kwasr
efr
eshi
ng.
.
Me:
andt
ir
ing.
.
Li
zzy
:yougi
rl
swi
l
lbef
ine.
.
Me:
aft
eraf
ull
bodymassage.
.
Li
zzy
:tomor
row.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Ther estoft heni ghtwentwel l,
butIdi dn' tsee
dad.Thef oll
owi ngdayaspl annedwewentt o
thespaandhadf ull bodymassages, Iev en
call
edBar r
y ,
yesshewasmadbutaf terI
promi sedaf ul ldaywi t
hherwhenIcomeback
shecal meddown.Shewasal sooutoft own. .
.
Ther estoft heweekwentwel l,
Idi dn'tseeRay
thatmuchandIwasgl ad.Ij
ustdi dn' tknowhow
totellhim Ididn' tfeel t
hesame. .Venusnev er
call
edandapar tofmewaswor riedbutanot her
wasj ustgl adhedeci dedtogivememyspace
butsoonenoughschool swi
llber eopeni ng
soonandt henIwi llhav etofacehi m. .Itwason
aTuesdayandIwaspacki ngmyt hi ngsev en
thoughwewer eleav ingonFr i
day ..
Ij usthat e
doingl astmi nut ethi ngsbecauset hat '
swher e
youendupf or gettingsomet hings.Icame
acrossBandi leslet terandplacedi tper fectly
betweenmydi ary..WhenIwasdonepacki ng
andleav ingoutcl ot hesIwoul dweari nt he
fol
l
owing3daysIwentdownst
air
s..Li
zzyand
dadwerenoti
n,
itwasonl
ymeandLeah. .She
waswatchi
ngsomeshow..
Me:
hey
..
Her
:hey
..
sohav
eyouspokent
oRayy
et?
Me:
no.
.I
..
Her
:what
?
Me:howdoy
out
ell
someoney
oudon'
tfeel
the
same?
Her
:butIt
hought
..
theki
ss.
.
Me:
yes,
theki
ssbutIdon'
tfeel
thesame.
.
Her:
youjustt
ellhimyoucan'
tof
ferany
thi
ng
el
seexpectfr
iendshi
p..
Me:
pleasedoi
tforme.
.
Her:
no.
.Iwasn'
tther
ewhenyouwer
eleadi
ng
hi
m onmakinghimt hi
nky
ouli
kehi
mt oo.
.
Me:
whatdoy
oumeanl
eadi
nghi
m on?
Her:
kissi
nghi
m back,
hepr
obabl
ythi
nksy
oul
i
ke
hi
mt oo..
Me:
whathav
eIdone?
Her:
I'
m wonder
ingt
hesamet
hingt
oo.
.l
et'
sgo
seehim.
.
Me:
now?
Her
:yesnow.
.
Shedraggedmebymyhandt henwewentto
thebeach..Wefoundhi
m wit
hsomegi r
lbut
i
mmedi atelyhesawushecamet ous.
.
Hi
m:hey
..
Leah:
hey
..
Hi
m:Kr
is.
Me:
hey
..
howar
eyou?
Hi
m:I
'
m goody
ou?
Me:
awesome.
.
Leah:
l
etmegi
vey
ouguy
sspace.
..
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngaway,al
lIj
ustwantedt
hat
momentwasfort
heeart
htotearupandletme
si
nkini
t.
.
Hi
m:soo?
Me:
so?
ummhy
eah.
.ummhhowi
ssur
fi
ng?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Him:
I'
m sur
ey oudi
dn'tcomeal
lthewayher
eto
askmehowi ssurf
ing?
Iswal
l
owedhar
d..
Me:ummhy eah.
..
I.
.God.
.Idontknowwhatt
o
say
..umhhhowtosayi t
..
Hi
m:i
sitt
hatbad?
Me:
yeah.
.t
hatbad
Hi
m:ok.
.
Me:
ummh.
.I
..
wel
lthi
ngi
s..
I.
.-
Hi
m:y
oudontf
eel
thesameway
?
Me:
yeahandIdontwantt
orui
nourf
ri
endshi
p..
Whati
fwehaveanastybr
eakupthenIwil
lwant
somet
hingf
rom y
outhenIcan'
taskfori
t.
.
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:Inev
erl
ookedati
tli
ket
hat
..
Me:
youshoul
d..
Hi
m:okf
ri
ends?
Me:
yes,
fr
iends.
.
Het
henhuggedme,
aft
erawhi
l
ehepul
l
edout
..
Hi
m:wantt
owat
chmesur
f?
Me:
yeah.
.
Herant
othebeachwit
hhissur
fi
ngboar
d,by
t
henLeahwasalr
eadyappr
oachi
ng.
.
Her
:howdi
ditgo?
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:I
'm gl
ad.
.
Westoodt
her
ewat
chi
nghi
m ashedi
dhi
s
t
hing.
.
AsIwasst i
l
lther
eIt
ookmyphoneandcal
l
ed
Tshepi
e..
Me:
Tsal
ayame(
myf
ri
end)
Hi
m:hey
..
youhav
ebeenscar
ce.
.
Me:
yeah.
.any
wayhowi
syou?
Hi
m:mei
sgood.
.
Me:
I'
m gl
ad,
Dyl
an,
Ant
honyandBK?
Hi
m:t
heyar
eok,
youandVenus?
Me:
webr
okeupanddon'
taskwhy
..
Hi
m:okIwon'
t.
.sohowi
sli
fe?
Me:Ij
ustrej
ect
edaguy
..
doest
hatmakemea
badperson?
Hi
m:no,
i
tsl
i
fe.
.
Me:
Ifeel
bad.
.
Him:youwil
lbef
ine.
.Isawy
ourt
ri
ppi
ctur
eson
Facebook.
.
Me:
I'
m hav
ingf
unt
houghImi
ssy
ouguy
s..
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
out
oof
am
Me:
what
'
snew?
Him:
nothi
ng..Mypar
ent
shav
en'
tst
art
ed
f
ight
ingyet
.
Me:
that
'sgr
eat
..
Hi
m:ohhI
'
m wi
thDy
lan,
wannat
alkwi
thhi
m?
Me:
yeah.
.
IguesshegaveDylanthephonebecauseI
coul
dhearhisvoi
ce..
Hi
m:kemang?
(whoi
sthi
s?)
Me:
Dyl
an.
.
Hi
m:Kr
is?
Me:
no,
Bey
once.
.
Hi
m:hey
..
youhav
efor
got
tenmer
ight
?
Me:
ahhnev
er.
.
Hi
m:okbabe,
sohowar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m good.
.
Hi
m:Imi
ssedy
ourt
inyv
oice.
.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ourhar
shv
oicet
oo.
.
Hi
m:myv
oicei
sver
ysmoot
h..
Icoul
dhearTshepi
elaughi
ngatt
he
backgr
ound.
.
Me:
howi
sschool
?
Hi
m:examsar
eappr
oachi
ngi
naf
ewweeks.
.
Me:yeah.
.well
minewil
lbestarti
ngi
mmedi
atel
y
aft
erweopent henweclose.
.onl
yamont
hof
examsIthink.
.
Hi
m:soy
ouguy
scl
osebef
oreus?
Me:
yes,
any
wayIhopey
ouar
eready
..
Hi
m:y
es..
im evensingl
e..
kanakeser
ious
mma(I
'm ser
ious)
Me:
l
ol.
.goodt
hing.
.
Ihear
dTshepi
escr
eami
ngatt
hebackgr
ound.
.
Tshepi
e:Duduomokhandi
l
e..
(Dudubr
okeup
wi
thhi
m)notsi
ngl
ebychoi
ce
Il
aughed.
.
Dyl
an:
no.
.he'
slyi
ng.
.YouknowIdon'
tget
dumped.
.Idothedumping.
.
Me:
Iknowr
ight
..
Him:
y eah.
.Sowhowast
hatguywhotagged
youonapi ct
urey
ouwer
ekissi
ng.
.Andwhydid
youremoveit?
Me:
he'
smyexandbecausemom wasn'
thappy
..
Hi
m:obvi
ousl
y.
.ShesablackAf
ri
canmom af
ter
al
l
..
youknowhowt heyar
e..
Me:
yes,
l
ookIhav
etogo.
.wewi
l
ltal
k..
Hi
m:okl
oveby
e..
Hegav
ethephonebackt
oTshepi
e..
Me:
l
ookIwi
l
lcal
l
..
Hi
m:ok.
.Il
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.umhhandpl
ease.
.Keepmysi
ster
saf
e..
breakherhear
tandIwi
l
lki
l
lyou.
.
Hi
m:y
esmam.
.
ThenIhungup.
.
Leah:
whowast
hat
?
Me:
myf
ri
end.
.Fr
iendsact
ual
l
y..
Leah:
ok.
.Ican'
twai
ttof
ini
shschool
.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.
Thefoll
owingfewday swer eok,Isti
llhangout
wit
hRay .OnFriday,
Ipackedmyl astremaini
ng
cl
othes.
.Iwasf inal
l
ysay i
ngby et othebeach
l
if
eandgoi ngbackt oreal
it
y..Iwentdownst air
s
wit
hmybags. .
Dad:
all
done?
Me:
yeah.
.
Dad:
yourf
ri
endi
sher
e,y
ougi
rl
sgosayby
e..
MeandLeahwentout
sidewer
eRaywas.
.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
.
Het
urnedt
olookatus.
.
Hi
m:met
oohey
..
youguy
sshoul
dcomeback.
.
Leah:
Isecondt
hat
..
Me:
yeah.
.l
et'
sdoagr
ouphug.
.
Wehuggedt oget
her..
.Thent ookaf ewpi ct
ures.
Goodbyesar enotreal
lymyt hi
ng. .
atlasthe
wentwhilewegoti nthecaranddr oveaway ..I
hel
dmyt earsast hewedr oveaway .
.Leahmust
havenoti
cedmyunusual quietnesst hatshe
mademer estmyheadonhershoul der..The
j
ourneywentwel l.Wear ri
vedatt her iv
er
wherebyweusedaboatt ogett otheot her
si
de..
thendrov ehomef rom there..Ar r
iving
homeIcoul djustfewthatt heat mospher ehad
changed.
.thi
ngswer eabi tsuffocating..Leah
wasgoingt ogohomet hef oll
owingday ..Sowe
werenowl yi
ngonmybed. .
Her
:f
eel
sgoodt
obeback.
.
Me:
can'
tsayt
hesame.
.
Her:
don'
tworr
yaboutVenus.
.y
ouwi
l
lget
t
hroughthef
oll
owi
ngmont h.
.
Me:
Ihopeso.
.
Ireall
ydidn'twantt ogobackt oschool,Iwas
hopingIdontbutt heni t
sl i
fe.Thet i
mewheni t
camet hatIgotbackt oschool cameandt henI
couldn'
tescape. .Idressedupi nmyov ersi
zed
fadedjeans,atopandov ersizedbasketball
j
acketwi thconv erse..Ireall
ydidn'tcareon
whatIputonal lIwant edwast ogett hrough
thedaywi thoutanyhust els.
.Idrovemy sel
fto
school af
tergrabbi nganappl e,
Idi
dn'tfeelli
ke
foodthatmor ning.Par kingatschool ,
some
peoplewer ealreadyt here..IsawBar ryrun
towardsmeandsuf f
ocat i
ngmei nahug. .
Her
:ohmyGod.
.Imi
ssedy
ou
Me:
Imissedy
oumor
e..
wear
egonnar
ockt
his
t
erm.
.
Her
:hel
lyeah!Soy
ouandVenus?
Me:
pastt
enseanddon'
taskwhy
..
Her
:ohht
hat
ssad.
.
Me:
yeah.
.any
waywher
e'sBen?
Her
:Ihav
en'
tseenhi
m..
let
'sgo.
.
Wewalkedt
othecl
assandset
tl
eddown.
Ev
ery
onewasbusygiv
ingmelooks.
.
Me:
whyi
sev
ery
onel
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
his?
Her
:Idon'
tknow.
.Sohowwasy
ourhol
i
day
?
Me:
i
twasok.
.Imi
ssedy
out
hough.
.
Her
:Imi
ssedy
out
oo
Aswewer est
il
ltalki
ngLeahcamei n,
andas
Barrydidwithme..shealsosuf focatedheri na
hug..Therestofthedaypeopl ewer egiventime
togettheirsel
vesoutoft hehol idaymoodbutI
didn'
tseeVenusany whereincludingJupi ter
.I
onlysawJer emiahwhoj ustlookedatmebut
neverexchangedawor d.
.Ididn'task,Ididn't
wantt ocomeacr ossasapr y
ingexgi rlf
riend..
Ther estoftheweekIdi dn'
tseehi m andtobe
honestitbotheredme. .
butmypr i
dewasj ust
toomucht hatIdi
dn'taskanyone. .The
fol
lowingweekex amswer estarti
ngandt hat
MondaywhenIdi dn'tseehim knowi ngwewer e
writ
ingexamsIgotsowor r
ied..Iswallowedmy
pri
dei nthemor ni
ngandaskedBenwhoIwas
walkingwithtoclass..
Hi
m:ar
eyour
eady
?
Me:
mor
ethanr
eady
..
heycanIasksomet
hing?
Hi
m:goahead.
.
Me:
wher
e'sVenus?
Hel
ookedatmebef
oret
alki
ng.
.
Him:
Ithoughtyouguy
swer
einl
ovesohow
comey oudontknow.
.
Me:
webr
okeup.
Hi
m:ohh.
.Iseewel
lhe'
sinhospi
tal
.
.Hewas
mugged.
.
Me:
what
?
Him:
yeah.
.ev
ery
oneknows,
Iwonderhowcome
youdon'
t.
.
Me:
ohh.
.sohowi
she?
Him:
hewokeupl
astweekandhewil
lbewrit
ing
he'
sexamsi
nhospi
tal
unti
lhef
eel
sbetter
..
Me:
theybeathi
m up?
Hi
m:y
es.
.any
wayy
ouar
eher
e..
Hesai
daswewer
est
andi
ngatmycl
ass.
.
Me:
ok,
seey
oul
ater
..
Igoti
nsi
det hecl
assandLeahandBar
rywer
e
al
readyi
n..Iwentandset
tl
eddown.
.
Me:whydidn'
tyouguy
stel
lmeVenusi
sin
hospi
tal
?
Leah:
Ial
sof
indoutnow.
.
Bar
ry:
Ithoughty
ouknew.
.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ohav
etoseehi
m af
terschool
.
.
Bar
ry:
Ihear
dhewokeup.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Bar
ry:
rumourhasitt
hatnot
hinggotst
olen.
.He
onl
ygotbeaten.
.
Me:
that
ssad.
.
Leah:
yeah.
.noonedeser
vest
hat
..
Bar
ry:
ohht
het
eacheri
sher
e..
Wei mmedi atelykeptqui t
e.West artedwith
Geography .
.Thepaperwas2hour s.Icansayi t
wasokbecauseIhadf ull
ypr epar
edf ori
t..
we
onlywroteGeot hatdayonl y.Aft
erschool I
drovestrai
ghtt ot hehospitalwerehewasat .
Barrytol
dmet hename. .Arrivi
ngthereIgot
helpfr
om t her ecepti
onistsoi knowwhi ch
room hewasi n.Iwalkedt herecontemplating
onwhatIwoul dsayt ohi m..WhenIgott ohi s
doorIsof t
lyknocked. .Av oicecommandedme
tocomei n, getti
nginsidehewast here,
lyi
ngon
thebed,helookedokt omebuthewasn' talone.
Hewaswi
tht
hisot
herguywhol
ookedal
otl
i
ke
hi
m..
Venus:
hey
y..
kri
s
Comei
n
Iwalkedinsi
deandst
oodatt
heot
hersi
deof
thebed..
Me:
hel
l
o..
Venus:hey
..y
oudon'
tknowhowhappyIam t
hat
youarehere.
.
Me:
assoonasIhear
dIcame.
.
Theot
herguycl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
..
Venus:
ohht hi
sismybigbr
other
..Jer
emy
..
Jer
emyt hi
sisher.
.Kr
is.
.
Jer
emy
:thegi
rlwhogoty
oubeat
enup.
.
Me:
excuseme?
Venus:
dontmi
ndhi
m babe
Me:
no.
.Iwantt
oknow.
.whatdoeshemean.
.I
goty
oubeat
enup?
Jer
emy
:youar
ether
easonhe'
sher
e..
Venus:
howabouty
ougi
veusspaceJer
emy
?
Jer
emy
:okf
ine.
.butdon'
tfor
getwhatIsai
d..
Hesai
dwal
ki
ngout
..
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m:not
hing.
.
Me:
youl
ovel
yi
ngdonty
ou?
Hi
m:i
tsnotl
i
ket
hat
..
Me:
thenexpl
ain.
.
Him:wel
ltheper
sonwhobeatmet ol
dmeI
shoul
dstaythefuckawayf
rom y
ou..
Me:
who?
Him:Idontknowhim..
someblackdude.
.but
dontworry
..
ther
e'snowayI
'm stay
ingaway
fr
om you.
.
Me:
whatexact
lydi
dhebeaty
ouupf
or?
Hi
m: hesaidsomethingLi
kehar
m hernai
landI
wi
llkil
lyou.
.Idontknowtoo.
.
Me:andy
ourbr
othert
hinksi
tsf
ort
hebesti
fyou
st
ayaway?
Hi
m:y
eahbut
..
Me:
he'
s.
.-
Igotcutbyt
hedooropeni
ng,
andsome
brunet
tewal
kedi
n..
Venus:
Samant
ha?
Her
:babe.
.
Imov
edawayf
rom hi
sbed.
.
Me:
Ithi
nkitsbestt
hisway
..
hav
eaqui
ck
r
ecover
y..
Il
efthim call
ingmyname. .wentt
omycarand
drovehome, shewasbetterthanmenodoubt
butIdidn'
titbreakme,I
'mf i
nethewayIam.I
wast r
yingtogetthewhol ethi
ngtoget
her..
Me?whodi di t
?Ittookmeasecondt ofigur
e
outitwasBandi l
e, heprobablythoughtVenus
wasr esponsi blef ormydr owning..That'
swhy .
.I
didn'
tknowwhatt odot hatmoment ,Ij
ustfel
t
l
ikeIwasl osingi t..Gett
inghomeIj ustsatin
mycar ..
thenr ev ersedoutanddr ov etoLeah's
mom wor kplace. .Ineededt otal
kt oher..
Getti
ngt hereIaskedhel pfr
om ther ecepti
on.
.
ThenIwast ol dshewasf r
eesoIr ushedt oher
offi
ce..Gettingt her eIknockedget t
ingin.
.she
wast here..
seat edonherchai r
..
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryt
obar
gei
nli
ket
his.
.
Her
:dontwor
ry,
seat
..
Isatdown.
.
Her
:youl
ookamess.
.
Me:
Ijustdon'
tknowwhatt
othi
nkany
mor
e..
I'
m
l
osi
ngit
Her
:t
ell
meev
ery
thi
ng.
.
Itol
dherevery
thi
ngthathappenedatt
het
ri
p
aboutBandi
le.
.ev
enaboutVenusandwhathe
t
oldme.
.
Me:whydi
dhebeathi
m?i
sthi
sthecar
ehe'
s
t
alki
ngabout
?
Her
:Ireal
l
ydontknow,y
ousaidhet
hinksVenus
wasresponsi
blef
oryourf
all
i
ng?
Me:yes.
.hewasmadwhenIt
alkedt
ohi
mthat
day
..
Her
:pr
obabl
yit
sclearhebeatVenusbecause
hef
elthewasendanger
ingyourl
if
e..
Me:
whydoesmyl
i
fehav
etobehi
sbusi
ness?
Her:
yousaidhesayshelovesyour
ight
?look
Kri
sever
ythingisoutt
herefory
ou.
.al
lyouhave
todoisf
igureitout
..
Me:
i
tsconf
usi
ng.
.
Her:no..
it
sconf usi
ngbecausey ouwanti tto
be..
givey our sel
fti
meandev erythingwi l
lfal
l
i
ntopl ace..don'tst
ressjustbreath,relaxand
takeyourt imet othinkaboutthisandIpr omise
youev erythingwi l
lfal
li
ntoplace. .Stop
pani
cki
ng.
.
Me:It
hinkVenus'
sbrot
herhat
esme,
Idon'
t
bl
amehi mthough.
.
Her:
i
tsonlynormal.
.butdontt
akeitt
o
hear
t.
.i
magineifi
twasy ourbrot
her.
.Justput
your
sel
finhisshoes..
Wetalkedabi
tbef
oreIdr
ov ebackhome.
Ar
ri
vinghomedadwasalreadyther
e..
Hi
m:ohht
hankGod.
.wewer
ewor
ri
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.Iwentt
oseemyt
her
api
st.
.
Hi
m:t
her
api
st?
Me:y
eah.
.ummhI
'
mti
redl
etmegol
i
edowna
bi
t.
.
Idi
dn'twantt otal
k, Iwasn'
treal
lyfeeli
ngit.I
j
ustfeltdepressedandemot i
onalti
red.Get t
ing
i
nmyr oom Ijustlayonmybedt ry
ingt oshut
mymi ndtotallybutIwasf ai
l
ing.Ifel
tdown,
andmor eIev enst ar
tedtobl
amemy selff
or
Venus'sbeingbeat en.Idi
dn'
tevenknowwhat
tot
hink.Iguessfel
lasl
eepbecauseIgotwoken
upwithLizzyshaki
ngmesoftl
y..
Her
:heywakeupory
ouar
egoi
ngt
obel
ate.
.
Idraggedmyf eettot hebathroom andtooka
quickshowert hendr essingupandgoi ngto
school.Arri
vi
ngatschool al
liwantedwast he
daytocomet oanendal r
eady.Iwasjustlosti
n
myownl it
tl
ewor ld.Iwr otemyexamsbl ocking
outanyt houghtandi mmedi atelyaft
erschoolI
stoodupandwal kedt omycarbutgotst opped
byJupiterwhoIdon' tknowwher esheeven
camef rom.
Her
:hey
,wowy
ouar
esur
elyi
nahur
ry.
.
Idi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng,
Ijustl
ookedather
..
Her
:Iwant
edt
otal
ktoy
ou.
.
Ist
il
lkeptmysi
l
ence.
.
Her
:Ij
ustwantt
oapol
ogi
zef
or.
.-
Me:
Il
ongf
orgav
eyou.
.St
opst
ressi
ng.
.It
sOK
Her
:Venusexpl
ainedmycondi
ti
onr
ight
?
Me:y
esandpleasenev
erstopdr
inki
ngy
our
pi
l
ls.
.It
snotgoodforyou.
.
Her:
yeahandIenduphur
ti
ngt
hepeopl
eIl
ove
andcareabout
..
Me:I
'
m sureyourf
amilycar
esal
otabouty
ou
butyouj
ustdon'
treal
i
zeit.
.
Her:
yeah..Venuswaspr eparedtodoany t
hing
formebadorgood. .Iguesst hat
'showmuch
helovesandcareaboutme. .Iwastoobli
ndnot
toseeit.
.AndIhurthimi ntheprocess.
.
Me:
don'
twor
ry.
.I'
m sur
ehef
orgi
vesy
ou.
.
Her
:yeah.
.Ummhheaskedt
oseey
ou.
.
Me:It
hinki
tsbesthef
ocusesonhi
sheal
thy
andSamant ha.
.
Her
:IknowI
'
mther
easonwhyy
ouguy
shadt
o..
-
Me:
no.
.It
snoty
ou.
.Venusmadeachoi
ce,
he
couldhavechosennotto,pl
ushehasa
gi
rlf
riend.
.Thatwasallhi
m..LookIhav
etogo.
.
Iwil
lseey ouaround.
.
Her
:ummhOK.
.By
e
Iwal
kedtomycarqui
cklyanddrov
ehome.
Get
ti
nghomeIf
oundLizzyalr
eadyther
e..
Me:
hey
..
Her
:hey
..Youear
lyt
oday
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:l
etmest
artcooki
ng.
.
Me:Iwi
l
l hel
p..
.I'
m goi
ngt
ochanget
o
comfor
tablecl
othes.
.
Irushedupst
air
s,changedi
ntomyPj
'
s..Then
cameback..
Her
:t
hatwasqui
ck.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Her:
youcancuttheonions,t
omat
oesand
someoftheveggi
esthere.
.
Me:
OK.
.
Itookthecutti
ngboardandstart
edwithmy
cutti
ng.Mymi ndwasn'texact
lyi
ncutti
ngbut
j
ustlostinmyownwor l
d,Ionl
ystoppedcut
ti
ng
whenLi zzyscr
eamedmyname. .
Her
:GodKr
isy
ouar
ebl
eedi
ng.
.
Il
ookeddownatthecut
ti
ngboardandt
hat
'
s
whenIreal
i
zedIcutmyfi
nger
..
Her
:seatdownandl
etmegett
hef
ir
stai
dki
t.
.
Sher
ushedupst
air
sthencanbackwi
tht
hef
ir
st
ai
dki
t..
Shestar
tednur
singmyhand,
Iwi
ncedabi
tat
thepai
n..
Her:
anddone.
.
Il
ookedatmyf
ingeral
readybandaged.
..
Her:
Idon'
tknowwhatsgoi
ngonwi thyoubutif
youwanttotal
kI'
m al
waysthere..Icar
eabout
youalot.
.WhenIsawyoubleedingIjustf
elt
l
ikedy i
ng..Idon'thaveachildbutIseey ouas
myownKr isandy oursaf
etycomesf irst..Ilove
you..WhenIseey ouIdon'tfeel barr
en. .Being
i
nf er
ti
lehur tsalotbutwithyouher eIf eel l
ike
Godi sgivingachanceIhav eal way spr ayedf or
..
AndIwi llbedamnbl i
ndnott oseeabl essing
wheni t
sr ightinfr
ontofme. .Iwill
doany t
hing
foryou..That '
showmuchIl ovey ou..Youar e
thechil
dIhav ealwayswishedf orsoseei ngy ou
bleedli
ket hatmademyhear tstopbeat ing..If
youwantt otalkI'
m here.
.
AsIwasst il
lthere,Ifi
guredi tout..Butitwas
j
usthardtobel i
eve..ThenIr eali
zedImadea
mist
ake..Li
keJul i
etsaid..Itwasal lri
ghtbefor
e
metof i
gureitout..Myt al
kwi thdad, withLee
andwithJupiter.
.Andnowwi thLizzy..Why
di
dn'
ti tmakesensebef ore..Ihoopeddown
fr
om thekit
chenst ool.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Isai
drushi
ngupst
air
s.."
:t
hel
i
ttl
ethi
ngst
heydo
fory ou,somet imest hewayt heyl ashouton
you,thewayt heygetmadi fy ougeti n
trouble..thesmal l
estt hi
ngsKr isar et heones
whi chcant ell youi fsomeonel oves
you. .
somet imeswhensomeonescr eamsor
shout saty ouf orget t
inghur tphy sical l
y..Evenif
i
twasn' ty ourf ault..
thewayt heyshout ..
thats
l
ov eov ert her e..
itsnotact uall
ybecause
someonei smadbutt heyar escar edofl osing
youf orev ersot heyal way swanty out obesaf e
atal lti
mes. .Theef forttheymaket owar ds
you. .
evenwheni t'
ssmal lafterall i
tst he
thoughtt hatcount s..notalway sbei ngt akent o
af ancyr est auranti sshowi ngl ove, somet imes
j
ustsi t
tingdownont hegr assi senough. .
Somet imesj ustwal ki
ngt oget herismuchmor e
bet t
ert hangoi ngoutt omov iesori cecr eams
l
ikey ouy oungst ers..Beforeal lthist echnology
howdoy out hinkpeopl eusedt ospendt ime
toget her?Whensomeonel ovesy out heywi ll
alway sf indawayt oknowwher ey ouar eand
makesureyouar
esafe,t
heywon'
tstop
f
ussi
ng..
andit
sactual
l
yannoyi
ng..
Hrchuckl
ed.
.
Him:andt hat
'slove..
.whensomeonei swi l
l
ingto
stoptheirworldforasecondt hereandchoose
toworryabouty ou..i
tslove..
afterall
itsthe
smallthingsthatmat terthemost ..
andifit
'sr
eal
l
ov eKrisyouwi l
lfeelit.
.t
heemot i
onal
bond..
youwi l
l f
eel i
t.
.theconnect i
onwi l
lbe
muchst rongerthanany thing.
.Ifit
slove..
Me:
youwi
l
lfeel
it.
."
Itallcli
ckednowasIr ecall
edtheconversati
onI
hadwi t
hdad, mymi ndwasal lovertheplace,
Bandi l
esactionsj ustproveditall
,hedidlove
meandIwasst ucki nt r
yingtohatehim
becausei j
ustfeltitwasanobl igati
on.
.Ifel
t
may beIhadt o.
.Itookmyphoneanddi al
ed
Juliet'
snumber ,Iknowpr obabl
yshewas
alreadyatherhouseal readybutIcouldn'twai
t
muchl onger.
.Sheanswer edafterawhi l
e..
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Me:hel
l
oMr sMackenzi
e,I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ryt
ocal
l
l
ateatthi
sti
me..
Her
:no,
i
tsokKr
is.
.It
akei
tyouhav
efi
gur
edi
t
out
..
Me:
buthehur
tme.
.whyshoul
dhel
oveme?
Her:
matter
soft
heheartI
'
m afrai
dIdon'thav
e
theanswer
syouar
elooki
ngfor..
it
sjust
somethi
ngnoonecanneverknowspecifi
cal
ly.
.
Me:Iwantt ohatehim buteversi
ncetheki
ss.
.I
don'tknow..If
eltdi
ff
erentl
ybutIjustdi
dn'
twant
tofeeldif
ferent
..Ist
il
lwantedtohatehim.
.
Her
:howdoy
ouf
eel
now?
Me:Idon'
tknow,I
..
histouch,
hiseff
ecton
me..ev
ery
thingwasj ustdi
ff
erent
..
hehurtme..I
dontwanttofeell
ikethat,
Idontwanttolov
e
hi
m becausehehur tme..
Her:
youdontwantt
ol ovehi
m becauseyouar
e
scar
ed..Youar
eindenial
toyourf
eeli
ngs
becausey
ouarescared..Youarescaredtol
ove
hi
m. .
it
soktobescared.
.Justtakeyourti
me
befor
emakingyournextmov e.
.
Me:whati
fIhav
ealr
eadyl
osthi
m..
Imeani
ts
been2weeksandnowgett
ingt
o3inafew
days.
.
Her:
theny
ouhavetof
indout..
youar
etoo
scar
edbutyouhav
etoovercomethat.
.
Me:
whydi
dhat
etur
ntol
ove?
Her:
youdidn'tr
eali
zeitbutbecausey ouhated
hi
mt oomuchy ouwerealwaysthinki
ngabout
hi
m...
may beifyouchosetojustforgethi
mt hen
whenheki ssedyou.
.youwouldhav erej
ected
hi
m..butnowy oulovehim..
Me:Idon'
tevenunder
standwhaty
ouj
ustsai
d
butIwil
lfi
gurei
tout.
.
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Her
:I
'm gl
adIcoul
dhel
p..
Ithenhungup. .
Iwentov ert
omydi ar
y,r
e-r
ead
thelet
teragain.
.deepdownIwashopi ngthatI
didn'
tl
osehi m,deepdownIdi dlov
ehim,but
howdi ditgettolove?..
heal
readyhadmyheart.
.
AsIwasst i
l
lthereLizzyemerged.
.
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.

Shegoti
nandsatbesi
desme.
.
Me:
howdoIt
ell
someoneIl
ovehi
mtoo?
Her
:wel
l
..ar
eyousur
eyoul
ovehi
m?
Me:
asmuchasIdontwantt
o..
Ido.
.
Her
:ok,
ummht
akey
ourphoneandcal
lhi
m..
Me:
whatam Igoi
ngt
osay
?may
beat
extwi
l
ldo.
.
Her
:no.
.heneedst
oheary
ousayi
t.
.
Myhear
twasbeat
ingf
ast
,Iwr
otehi
snameon
t
hesear
chspaceandi
tcameout
..
myhear
twas
r
eal
l
ybeati
ngfast
..
Her
:cal
lhi
m bef
orey
oul
osehi
m..
Ipressedcallandputt hephoneonmyear,I
wassecr et
lyhopingi tgoest
ovoicemai
lbut
thenitst
artedr i
nging.ThemomentIhadhell
oI
hungupi nterror.
.
Her
:andt
hen?
Me:
Igotscar
ed.
.
Ist
art
edpaci
ngupanddown.
.
Her
:j
ustr
elaxandbr
eat
hok?
Shehelpedmecal
m down,
tookabout10
minut
es..
Her
:wannat
ryagai
n?
Inoddedtakingt
hephone..Ical
ledhi
m agai
n..
Thisti
met hephonegotansweredqui
cklybuti
t
wasaf emalevoice.
.
Her
:hel
l
o?
Me:
ummh.
.hi
..
canIpl
easespeakt
oBandi
l
e..
Her
:he-
Shet
henwentsi
l
entandaf
terawhi
l
eIhear
d
hi
m..
Hi
m:hel
l
o?
Ij
ustgottonguet
ied,
Icoul
dn'
tev
ent
alk.
.I
l
it
eral
lyf
roze..
Hi
m:hel
l
o..
Ist
il
lkeptmysi
l
enceswal
l
owi
nghar
d..
Hi
m:okI
'
m hangi
ngup.
.
Me:
I.
.ummh.
.h.
.hey
..
Hi
m:Kr
is?
Il
ookedatLi
zzywhowassi
gnal
l
ingmet
otal
k..
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tthi
nky
ouwoul
dcal
l
..
Iwast r
yingtotal
kbutmyv oi
cewasf ai
l
ingme,
Ithenhungup..Icoul
dn'
tdoit
..
Ijust
couldn'
t.
.bef
oreami nut
eevenpassedmy
phoner
ang,
i
twashi
m..
myhandswer
eshaki
ng.
.
Li
zzyt
ookthephoneandanswer
edwhi
l
stIwas
si
gnal
l
inghernott
o..
Her
:hel
l
o..
ummhshe'
sher
e..Wai
t.
.
Sheheldthephoneoutformetotakeit.
.Ikept
shaki
ngmyhead. .Shef
orcef
ull
yplacediton
myear..
Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:whyar
ewewhi
sper
ing?
Idi
dn'tr
eal
i
zemyv oi
cewassol
owt
hatIev
en
soundli
kewhi
sper
ing.
.
Him:youalwayshav
esomet
hingt
osay
..
what
'
s
happeningtoday
?
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Ibl
urt
editoutl
i
keacr
azyper
sonandj
usthel
d
mybreat
h..
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/26,19:
43]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t20
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
DeepdownIwashopi ngshedoesn't
call
,honest
lyspeakingIwasprayi
ngshedoesn't
feelthesamebecauset hiswasthestartof
muchmor ecomplicati
onsinherl
ifethannever
before..
Me:
what
?Youdo?
Her
:yes
Shesai
dsof
tl
y.
.
Me:well
I'
m gladyoudof eelthesame,butI
havesomethingt
ot el
lyou..Idon'
twanttorai
se
myhopesf ornot
hingknowi ngdeeplyt
hatyou
mightaswelldumpmeaf terthi
s..I
'
m aworse
personmorethanyouthinkIam. .
Shekeptqui
et.
.
Me:youknowt here'sal
way sagoodguy
every
wher e,thegoodper sonbutwi t
hmeI '
m
thebadguy ..I'
m acr i
minal Kris,
I'
m someone
whodoesbadt hi
ngst opeopl e.Yourbrother
evenhatesme, yourdadknowsmycr i
mi nalass
sothere'
snowayi nhellwher ebytheyaregoi ng
toapproveus, arey oureadyt ogoagai nstyour
famil
y?Becauset obehonest ,wi
thmet hat's
whaty ouwi l
lbedoi ng.
.Isthiswhaty ouwant ?
Youcanal way sgobackt oy ourVenusguy .
.I
l
ov eyoubutusbei ngtogetherwi ll
breaky ou
evenmor e..Areyousur ey ouwantt hat?
Shewasquit
e,may bet
ryi
ngt odi
gestal
lthi
s.
I
tsbestt
hatItel
lhersothatshedumpsme
beforeweev enstartdatingbecauseIdon't
thi
nkl yi
ngt oherwillendgood.Af terawhile
shehungup, wellIexpect edasmuch.I'm not
goingt oforceherorpr essuri
zeherinto
anything..I
'
m notgoi ngtoper suadeherintoa
rel
ationshipthatwillcausenot hi
ngbuttearsin
herey es.Iwalkedbacki nsidethehouse..
Me:Whogavey
out
her
ightt
oanswermyphone
Theodor
e?
Her
:I
..You.
.Wast
haty
ourgi
rl
fr
iend?
Me:
yes,
nowl
eav
e..
Her:
Ithoughtyouwer
egoi
ngt
ogi
veusar
eal
chanceBandil
e..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
stopbei
ngf
unnyandl
eav
e..
Her
:ummhok..I
fyouwantmet
ocomeov
er
j
ustcal
lme.
.
Shethenwalkedout,
Theoi
sn'tr
eall
ythety
pe
ofgi
rltowi
fe..Shemaybebeauti
fulandal
l
,but
she'
st hetypical whorebeaut iful gi
rl.Isankon
mycouchcl osingmyey esinthepr ocess.Kr is
j
ustfil
ledmymi nd,Icoul dn'
tgetheroutofmy
mind,andi thurtt olovesomeonebey ond
anyt
hingbutt hencan' tbewi tht hem. .I'
m sure
shehat esmewher evershei s.AsIwasst il
l
ther
eIhear daknockf ollowedbysomeone
openingmydoor .QuicklyIgotup, theper son
emergedandi twasnonot hert hanSenzeni ,
one
ofmywor kers
Hi
m:Boss.
.
Me:
probl
em?
Hi
m:oneoft
hemul
l
sgotbust
erd
Me:
and?
Hi
m:she'
sbeenar
rest
ed.
.
Me:
obv
iousl
y
Him:
andshe'sgoi
ngunderi
nter
rogat
ionand
shemightt
alk.
.
Me:
shewoul
dn'
ti
fsheknowswhat
sgoodf
or
herf
ami
l
y..
Hi
m:t
heyarepr
omi si
ngherpr
otect
ion.
.Andshe
mi
ghtbefr
eedifshetal
ks.
.
Att
hemoment
,Idi
dn'
tneedt
hiski
ndofst
ress.
.
Me:
thenwhatar
eyouwai
ti
ngf
or,
takeherout
..
Complet
ely
!
Hi
m:consi
deri
tdone!
Het
henwal
kedout
,thel
astthingIwant
edwas
t
hepol
i
ceonmytal
e.Quinsythenemerged.
.
Hi
m:Senzeni
isst
il
lwor
kingf
ory
ou?
Me:
he'
sloy
al.
.
Hi
m:ok,
any
waydi
dKr
iscal
l
.?
Me:
yep.
.
Hi
m:gr
eatandnow?
Me:
Itol
dherI
'
m amonst
er.
.
Hi
m:shedi
dn'
ttakei
twel
l
?
Me:
shekeptqui
et.
.
Him:soyoubr
okeupbef
orey
ouev
enst
art
ed
dati
ng?
Heaskedl
aughi
ng
Me:
yeah.
.
Him:
don'tworr
y,youwil
lgetov
eri
t.
.I'
m ki
ddi
ng
youwil
lnevergetoveri
t.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.Tr
ustmeIdo
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Ihavebeensi l
entl
ycryingeversinceIhungup
onBandi le,
Iknewhei sabadper son,him
kidnappingmepr ovedital
lbuttot heextent
thatdadandSam knewhi mf orhiscri
mi nal
activ
iti
es?ThatoneIdi dn'
texpect,butthen
whatwashedoi ngatthebeachhousedur ing
thehol iday ? Igotup,tookmyphoneandgoogl ed
him, heappear edluckilybutt herewasnot hing
abouthi m bei ngacr i
mi nal wr it
tenonlyheowns
aconst ruct i
oncompanyandhe' stheonl yson
tothel ateAut hor,Xolani Thul ani.Him beinga
cri
mi nalwasexpect ed, deepdownIsuspect ed
thatonebutSam andDad. .
thatoner eallytook
mebysur prise.Thatdi dhur tbutnotasmuch
asi thur tthatheal readymadehi smind,about
us.Thewayhewast alking, i
tsl i
kehehas
alr
eadygi venuponusbei ngt ogetherthathe
evensuggest edIgobackt oVenus.Thesame
guywhohedi dn'twantmeev ergoingnear ,the
sameguyhebeatupt ryingt opr otectme.I
threwmyheadbackont hepi l
lowandshutmy
eyest i
ght l
y .Icouldn'tsleep, ev enifItri
edsoI
j
ustwokeupandr eadmybooksmor e
prepar ingf ormyexams.Thenextmor ningI
wokeupwi t hmyheadonmydesk.Imusthav e
fal
lenasl eepwhi lereading.Iwentt obath, wor e
deni m shor t swi t
hadeni m shi r
tandf i
nishedi t
offwi
thconv er
se.Ihadblockedmymi ndon
thi
nki
ngstressfult
hings.Iwentdownstai
rs
wereIfoundLizzyeatingal
ready.
Her
:hey
..
Me:
mor
ning.
.
Her
:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Yest
erdayaft
ertal
ki
ngtoBandi
l
eIjustgoti
n
myblanket
swi t
houtsay
ingawordt
oher.
Me:
readyf
ormyexam.
.
Her
:I
'm gl
ad,andhowdidtel
l
ingt
heguyy
ou
l
ovethatyoulov
ehim go?
Me:
Idon'
tthi
nkhef
eel
sthesameany
mor
e..
Her
:I
'm sor
rysweet
y..
Me:
no..I
tsOKmaybeit
sforthebestyouknow..
Maybewearenotmeanttobe..Noti
nthi
slif
e
t
imemay be.
.
Shest
oodupandhuggedme.
.
Me:
ok.Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
..
Her
:youar
enoteat
ing?
Me:
I'
m notr
eal
l
yhungr
yseey
ou.
.
Isaidal
readywalki
ngouttomycar.Idrov
eto
school,
andarri
vingi
nclassIf
oundLeah
alr
eadyin.Iwentandsatonmychair.
.
Her
:hey
..
Me:
hi
Her
:ar
eyouOK?
Me:
yeah.
.
Isai
dfaki
ngasmi
l
e..
Her
:t
hatsmi
l
eissuperf
ake,
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
i
tsnot
hingIcan'
thandl
e..
Her
:comeon.
.Tel
lme.
.
Me:It
hinkImadethebiggestmist
akey
est
erday
andIjustwantt
oeraseyester
day'
smemory.
.
Her
:whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lyousomeot
hert
ime.
.Ar
eyou
r
eadyf
ort
oday
?
Her
:yeah.
.Ify
ouwantt
otal
kI'
m her
e..
Me:
Iwi
l
lremembert
hat
..
Moment slat
erIwaswrit
ingmyexam. .Wasn't
thatmuchhar dt
hough.
.AfterIwasdoneIhad
nootherexam towri
tesoIdecidedtoj ustgo
home..AsIgottomycarsur pri
singl
yIsaw
Venusstandingbesi
desi
t..
Me:
hey
,al
readydi
schar
ged?
Hi
m: y
eah,thoughtIcoul
dseey
ouf
ir
stbef
oreI
gohome..
Me:
ohw.
.
Hi
m:I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryaboutmybr
other
,he'
sli
ke
t
hat.
.
Me:
no,
itsok.
.
Hi
m:Kr
isIl
ovey
ou.
.Il
ovey
ousomuch.
.
Me:
Venus.
.
Hi
m:Idook,
Iknowt
hesi
tuat
ioni
spr
ett
y
messedup, Iknowandt hisisgoingtosound
crazybutIwantyou,Ichosey ou,becauseIlov
e
you.Iwantust obetogether,noSamant ha,
no
JeremyorJupiter.
.Noany onejustus..
Me:
whatar
eyousay
ing?
Him:Iwantustobetoget
herwit
hnoonet
ryi
ng
tobreakus,awayf
rom ever
yoneand
ever
y t
hing.
.
Me:
asi
nenl
opt
oget
her
?
Him:y
es,asinl
et'
srunaway .
.Andbetoget
her
..
I
'm wi
ll
ingtodr
opev er
ythi
ngforyou.
.
Me:I
'm st
il
lachi
l
dVenus,Ihav
eaf ami
l
y..I
'
m
notgoi
ngt oj
ustabandont
hem..
Hi
m:youwill
comeback.
.Youar
enotgoi
ngt
o
di
sappearf
orev
er.
.
Me:whataboutschool
?Webar
elycantakecar
e
ofour
selves.
.Weneedmoney.
.Ican'
tVenus
Hi
m:Kri
syoul
ovemer
ight
?ThesamewayI
l
oveyou.
.
TobehonestIdidloveVenusbutIloved
Bandi
lemorethateventhi
nki
ngabouthim hur
t
andIdidn'
thav
ear easonto.
.Ij
ustdi
d
Hi
m:r
ight
?Imeanwelov
eeachot
herr
ight
?I
l
ovey
ou..Iknowt
hat
Me:
I.
.VenusIl
ovey
ou,
butIl
ovesomeoneel
se
mor
e..
Him:Iknowyousayi
ngt
hisasawayt
orej
ect
myideabutKri
s,l
ookatt
hisi
nmyownv i
ew.
.
I
'm goingt
oget.
.-
Me:
ILov
esomeoneel
seVenus.
.I
'
m ser
ious.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
e?
Me:y
es,andont opofthat
,r
unningawayisnot
goi
ngtohappen. .Ihav
eaf amil
ythatlov
esme
andIcan'tdi
sappointt
hem, atl
eastnotli
ket
hat
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.
Me:whataboutmymom? mydadwi l
lfi
ndus
andbeatthestupi
dit
youtofus,wi
ll
youpaymy
var
sit
yschoolfees?whataboutapl
aceto
st
ay?
food?Whataboutourf
inanci
all
yneeds?
Hi
m:Ihav
eapl
anf
oral
lthat
..
justt
rustme.
.
Me:Venus.
.Pl
ease..Runni
ngawayi
sahuge
st
epthatIdontt
hinkI'
m prepar
edf
or.
.
Him:becausethereissomeoneelse?What
doeshehav ethatIdon't
?Icangiveyouthe
worl
dKr i
s,youjusthavetosayt
hewor d
Me:
Idontwantany
thi
ng.
.Ij
ust
..
Hi
m:youjustwhat
?If
uckenl
ovey
ouKr
ist
in.
.
Whatdon'
tyousee?
Me:
Il
ovedy
ou,
Igav
eyouachance.
.y
oubl
ewi
t
Hi
m:ai
n'
tweov
ert
hat
?
Me:
wear
eit
'sj
ust
..
-
Hi
m:sot
hisi
swhatIgotbeat
enf
or?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:soy
ourl
i
ttl
eboy
fri
endi
stheonewhobeat
me?
Me:
no.
.I
..
-
Hi
m:whathappenedt
o"y
ouwi
l
lfi
ghtf
orour
l
ove"
Me:
thatwasbef
oret
hel
i
es!
Tear
swer
eal
readyst
reami
ng,
Icoul
dn'
thel
pit
..
Him:
howmanyt
imesdoy
ouwantmet
o
apol
ogi
ze?
Hesai
dpr
essi
ngmybodyhar
dagai
nstmycar
..
Me:
Venus.
.
Him:I
'm will
ingt
ogi
veupever
ythi
ngforus.
.ai
n'
t
thatl
ov e?whatt
hef
uckdoeshehavethatI
don't
?talk!
Ijustcri
ed,hi
m pr
essingmeagai nstt
hecarwas
reall
ypainful
,hewasn'tmyVenusany more.
.
Somet hi
nghadgot t
eni nt
ohi
m. .Hegrabbedmy
carkeysf r
om myhandandunl ockedthecar.
.
Hi
m:geti
n..
Me:
Venus.
.
Hi
m:geti
nyourf
uckencarKr
is!
Hescreamedmaki ngmegeti nmycaratt he
passengerseat..
hegotatthedr iver
sseatand
star
teddri
vingsomewher e..AllIdidwascr y .
.I
di
dn'tknowwhatwasgoi ngonbutIdi dn'
tlikeit
onebit.Heparkedathishouse,Ionl yreal
ized
wewer eathishoodafterthecarst opped..Pl an
wasassoonasheget soutIl ockmy sel
finbut
i
nsteadhedi dtheopposi
te..
Hi
m:getof
f!
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:getout
!
Igotoffmycarandhedidthesamecoming
towardsmeanddraggi
ngmei nsi
det
hehouse.
Wewentt ohi
sroom..Whenwegotther
ehe
mademeseatonhi sbed.
.
Hi
m:Idon'
twantt
ohur
tyou.
.
Me:
Iwantt
ogohome.
.
Iwhi
sper
edwi
tht
ear
sst
reami
ng.
.
Him:youwil
l
..Il
oveyouKr
is,
andLosi
ngy ouwi
l
l
kil
lme..
youlovi
ngsomeoneelsei
sal
ready
tear
ingmeup. .
Ij
ustkeptquit
esilent
lycr
ying,cryi
ngasking
Godtohelpme. .
Ireal
lydi
dn'tknowt heperson
whostoodinfrontofmeclaimi nghislov
ef or
me,hewasn'tt
heVenusIknow. .
Hi
m:may
besomet
hingwi
l
lchangei
tal
l
..
Hesaidwal
ki
ngtowar
dsme,myhear
twas
beat
ingf
astt
hatmoment
..
Me:
Venuspl
ease.
.
Hewal kedtowar dsmeandmademest andup
devouri
ngmyl ipspassionat
elypull
i
ngme
cl
osert ohim,therewasnoemot i
onal
connectionhowev er,i
twasj ustl
i
keanyot her
ki
ssandi tf
eltsowr ong..
Ipull
edout..
Me:
I'
m notr
eadyf
orsex
..
Him:t
henwewon'thav
esex..andIdon'
tev
en
under
standwhyy
ouar ecr
ying
Me:
Idon'
twantt
odot
hisany
mor
eIj
ust
..
-
Wewer edistur
bedbymyphoner ingi
ng,
andit
wasBandile.Venushadhiseyesonme,hethen
walkedoutleavi
ngmer ushi
ngtomyphoneand
answeri
ngit..
Me:
hel
l
o..
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
ishehur
ti
ngy
ou?
Me:
who?
Him:whydoyousoundl
i
kesomeonewhohas
beencryi
ng?
Me:
Idon'
t.
.Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Him:ohhsowhatar
eyoudoing?Pl
ayi
ngsome
happycoupl
ewithy
ourVenusboy?
Me:
stopst
alki
ngme!
Hi
m:wow!
okf
ine.
.
Me:y
ousaidIshoul
dgobackt
oVenusso
what'
syourpr
oblem now?
Hi
m:okf
ine,
congr
atul
ati
onsi
nor
dert
hen
Kr
ist
in!
Me:
whatt
heheckdowantf
rom me?
Him:not
hingi
npar
ti
cul
ar.
.Yourlov
ewas
enoughandyoupr
ovedother
wise
Me:youmustbej
oki
ng,
yousai
dIcangobackt
o
Venusandnowit
ssuddenl
yaprobl
em?
Hi
m:no,
hav
efunby
e
Me:wai
t..
whyarey
oubei
ngl
i
ket
his?
I'
m not
desper
ateok?
Him:
nobodysaidyouaredesperat
eKris,
you
candowhatpleasesyou.
.andIdon'
tevenknow
whatwearesti
llt
alki
ngaboutbecauseyou
wantpl
anetboy..
Me:
butIt
oldy
ou,
Il
ovey
ou.
.Youar
epushi
ng
meaway.
.
Hi
m:because.
.Youknowwhat
,let
'scuti
tout
Me:
what
ever
!
Hi
m:by
e..
Me:
Venusi
sbet
tert
hany
ourass
Hel
aughed.
..
Him:lookKris,
Ihaveali
feifyoudont
real
ize..
andmyl if
edoesn'tr
evol
vearoundyou
sost opacti
nglikeyouareGodinmyl i
fe!Andi
f
hisbettert
hanme, whyarewehav i
ngthis
conversati
on?
Me:
becausey
ousai
dyoul
oveme.
.
Him: whatdoesmyl oveforyouhav et
odowith
yourchildishacts?youcan'thaveyourbr
ead
batteredatbot hsidesandI '
m notgoi
ngtobe
partofy ourstupidlovet
riangle!
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.I'
m sor
ryok?
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Thewayshewastal
ki
ngnowIknewshewas
cr
ying,
andi
tgott
omeheari
nghercr
yli
ket
hat.
.
Me:yesIl
oveyoubutyourmoodsthough!
they
areannoy
ingok,
youcan'
tseem t
oknowwhat
youwant.
.Icanl
eaveyoual
oneifyouwantme
to.
.I
..
-
Her:
no..
I.
.I
'
m sor
ryf
orbei
ngchi
l
dish.
.I
..
Ihat
e
f
ight
ing.
.
Me:
noonei
sfi
ght
ingwi
thy
ou
Her:
whatev erthatwear
edoing,
Ihat
eit
..
Ilov
e
you,
Ithoughtthatwassupposedtobe
enough..
ain'ti
tenough?
Me:ifyouwanttobewithmewear egoingt
o
startbycor
rect
ingsomefewstaf
f1,Idontl
i
ke
thatVenusguyofyoursandgohomer i
ghtnow!
Her
:what
?
Me:gohome,y
ourdadwi
l
lsooncomebackand
f
indyoumissi
ng.
.
Her
:ok.
.
Me:secondlyKri
s,ar
eyoureadyforthewar
that
'sabouttostart
?youknowlovingmeitsa
complicat
ionespecial
lyi
fIhat
ey ourbr
other
andsodoeshe?
Her
:whydoy
ouhat
eSam?
Him:hedi
dal otofshitheshoul
dn'
thave
done,weusedtobet i
ght.
.butt
hat'
snott
hecase
ri
ghtnow..
Her:
maybeusbei
ngt
oget
herwi
l
lchangey
our
mind.
.
Me:
Idoubti
t.
.mel
ovi
ngy
ouhasnot
hingt
odo
wi
thSam
Her
:ok.
.Il
ovey
ouandIj
ustwant
..
Me:
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Her
:anor
mal
rel
ati
onshi
p..
Me:
I'
m af
rai
dIwon'
tbegi
vi
ngy
out
hat
..
Her
:i
tsok.
.
Me:
arey
ouony
ourwayhome?
Her
:noi
-
Me:
gohome,
Iwi
l
lcal
lyouwheny
ougethome.
.
Her
:ok.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Shesai ddroppingt hecal l
,Iwonderi fpossi bl
y
shesshyov ert hephonewhataboutf aceto
face.Maxhadcal l
edmeaf ewmi nutesago
tell
i
ngmehowt hisVenusguywentwi t
hKr i
st o
hishouse, Ireall
ygotpi ssedt hatwhyonear t
h
woul dshej ustdot hatunt i
lMaxt ol
dmeshe
goti nthecarcr y i
ng.Thi sVenusguyobv i
ously
didn'tlearnhislessonandhewasst ar t
ingto
gett omemor et hanany thing..Iputmyphone
i
nmypockett henwentt opi ckEnhl efrom the
busst op.Uni versiti
eswer est il
lonhol idayso
shej ustcamet ospendherf ewl astweekswi th
me. .Af t
eraf ewmi nutesIsawhercomi ng
towar dsmycar .Themomentshegoti nI
startedt hecaranddr ov ehome. .
Her
:hey
..
Me:
hi.
.howwasy
ourj
our
ney
?
Her
:i
twasok.
..
thought
ir
ing.
.
Me:
yeah.
.af
terr
est
ingy
ouwi
l
lbeok.
.
Her
:yeah..
any
waymom askedi
fther
eisany
makotiyet
?
Hi
m:whyi
ssheal
way
sonmycase?
Her:
becauseshecar
es.
.Youneedsome
set
tl
ingdown..
Me:wellt
hegir
lIlov
ei st
ooy oungformar
ri
age
sopleasedontgetyourhopesup..
Her
:howmuchy
ounger
?
Me:
youngert
hany
ou.
.
Her
:what?Ithoughty
ourkindofgir
lswereearl
y
20'
sgir
ls.
.someoney ourage.
.whatchanged?
Me:
l
ovedi
d
Shest
art
edl
aughi
ng.
.
Her:
ok,
whot
hehel
larey
ouandwhathav
eyou
donewit
hmybr
other
?
Me:
i
tsst
il
lme.
.
Her
:whendi
dyoust
artgoi
ngonaboutl
ove?
Me:
Imetsomeone.
.
Her
:whoi
sshe?
Me:
Kri
sti
n
Her
:Kr
ist
in?
whoi
sthat
?
Me:
yourf
ri
end.
.
Shel
aughedhar
dert
hanbef
ore.
.
Me:
what
'
sfunny
?
Her
:ni
ceone,
nowpl
easebeser
ious.
.
Me:
I'
m bei
ngser
ious.
.
Shel
ookedatmeagai
n..
Her
:what
?butshehat
esy
ou!
Me:
shel
ovesmenow.
.
Her
:whatdi
dyoudot
oher
?
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Her:yougaveherl
oveporti
on?Ory ouvi
sit
ed
somesangoma? becausenooffencebruhbut
thatoneisoutofyourl
eague.
.She'sli
kethe
beautyinthemovi
eandy ouarethebeast..
Me:
wel
lshel
ovest
hebeast
!
.
.
VENUS
.
.
Isatont hecouchasIwai t
edf orhertocome
downf rom myroom.Ihear dherconv er
sati
on
ont hephonecallandnodoubtshedi dlov
e
someoneel se,
allmyli
feIhadbeent he
player,
I
'mtheonewhousual l
yt el
lgi
rlst
hatI
l
ov esomeoneel sebuttodayitwasmeandi t
surehurtmor ethanany t
hing..IguessKar ma
nevermi ssest hedoor..
whatgoesar ound
comesbackar ound.IbroughtKr i
sher esoshe
remember sthememor i
eswehadi nthishouse
butIguessi twasj ustawast eoft ime.Ev en
thoughshel ov esthatguybutf rom their
conversationnodoubti tsat oxicrelat
ionship
andtoxicr el
ationshipsalwayscr umbleint he
worstmanner ..Shecameaf terawhi l
e..
hereyes
werest i
l
l r
ed
Her
:I
'm goi
ng
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Shej
ustnodded.
.
Me:Il
ov eyou..andyoucanlovehi m,i
tsok..
but
onethingyoushoul dknow,I
'm sti
llgoi
ngtobe
here,
waiti
ngf oryouincaseyoudon' tfi
ndwhat
youarelookingf or
,maybei
fy ouchangey our
mindIwi l
lbeher e,wai
ti
ngfory ou..
becauseI
l
ovey ou..
Shej
ustnoddedandl
eft
,f
rom t
heconv
ersat
ion
shewashav i
ngoverthephonenodoubtt his
guywasbadnewssoal lIhavetodoi swaitfor
himt omessupandt hatI'
m surehewi l
landI
willbether
eforhertopickupt hepieces.I
smiledatthethoughtofthis,
myphonet hen
rang..
itwasJeremiah..
Hi
m:dude!
Me:
hey
,what
'sgood?
Hi
m:not
hing,
I'
m comi
ngov
er.
.
Me:docome,andbr
ingsomebooze.We
cel
ebrat
ing.
.
Him:
celebr
ati
ngwhat
?Youget
ti
ngof
fi
cial
l
y
dumped?
Me:
butshewi
l
lbemi
neagai
n..
it
sonl
yamat
ter
oft
ime.
.
Him:
youbet
terpr
ayshedoesorelseyouar
e
goi
ngtohol
donforther
estofyourli
fe
Me:
wel
lthensobei
tbutt
hatIhi
ghl
ydoubt
..
Thefactt
hatshedoeslov
emegav eme
hope,
that
sallIwant
edtohear.
.eveni
fshel
oves
someoneelsemorebutshehaskeptme
somewhereinherhear
tandthat'
senoughf
or
me..
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
.
Hi
m: f
oryouKr
isIwi
l
ldoany
thi
ng,
youar
emy
si
ster
..
Iwastalki
ngtoSam l
atert
hateveni
ng,
whenI
ar
ri
vedhomedadwasnoti nyet
,onl
yLizzy
.I
wasrel
ieved.
.
Me:
whati
fIev
erdat
eaguyy
ouhat
e?
Him:Iwi
l
llear
nhowtotol
erat
ehi
m,ar
eyou
dati
ngsomeoneIhat
e?
Me:
what
?no.
.I
'
mjustaski
ngi
ncase.
.
Hi
m:ohw,
any
wayIhav
esenty
oumoneyt
obuy
i
Phone8s
Iscr
eamed.
.
Me:
real
l
y?
Hi
m:y
es.
.i
tsy
ourbi
rt
hdaypr
esent
..Howwasi
t?
Me:j
ustok,
IwasatthebeachsoIspenti
twi
th
somefri
endsnot
hingspeci
al.
.
Him:
dontwor
ry.
.any
wayhowar
etheexams
goi
ng?
Me:wel
l
..per
fect
..
I'
mjustgl
adI
'
m goi
ngt
obe
donewit
hhighschool.
.
Hi
m:yeah.
.y
ourtr
uej our
neyist
hengoi
ngt
o
st
art
..
Ihopeyoureadyfort
heworst
..
Me:
Iam.
.
Hi
m:sohav
eyout
houghtaboutuni
ver
sit
ies?
Me:
yeah.
.butnotsureifIwi
l
ldoi
ther
eori
n
Af
ri
ca,maybeAustrali
a
Hi
m:ok,
well
youwill
call
meaft
ery
oudoy
our
r
esear
ch.
.LookIbett
ergo.
.
Me:
okby
e..
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
memor
e..
Hethenhungup,Il
ayonmybedt hi
nkingabout
whathejustsai
d.Hemi ghtsayhewil
l l
ear
nto
t
oler
atehim butaf
terhef i
ndsouti
tsBandil
e
t
heneverythi
ngwil
l change.
.AsIwasstil
l
t
here,
Iheardaknockanddad' svoi
ce
Hi
m:pr
incesscanIcomei
n?
Me:
yes.
.
Heopenedthedoorandgoti
n..
hecameandsat
r
ightbesi
desme
Hi
m:heyPr
incess
Me:
dad
Hi
m:howar
etheexamsgoi
ng?
Me:
good.
.
Hi
m:great
,ummhbaby
,daddyhav
eabusi
ness
t
ri
p..
Me:
ohhok.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Iwi
l
lbegonef
ormay
be2weeks.
.
Me:
what
?
Him:y
es,
butIwi
l
lmakei
tupt
oyouwhenIget
back.
.
Ij
ustnodded.
.
Hi
m:andonemorethi
ng,yourmom want
edy
ou
t
ocomeforthehol
i
day..
Me:
ohhy
es.
.
Him:
yeah.
.sowewi
l
ltal
kaboutwheny
ouar
e
goi
ngwhenIcomeback
Me:
ok.
.
Het
henki
ssedmyf
oreheadandwal
kedout
..
Goinghomewassomethi
ngIwasl
ooki
ng
for
wardto.
.Ihav
etr
ulymi
ssedmyf
amil
y.
Myphonethenst art
edvi
brati
ng,
itwasacall
fr
om Bandi
le.Itookacoupleofdeepbr
eaths
befor
eanswering..
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi
Hi
m:gothomesaf
ely
?
Me:
yes.
.
Him:t
hatsgreat
..
Ihopeyoutol
dthatpl
anetboy
ofyourswheretogetof
fbecauseIhat
e
shari
ng..
Me:
yes.
.
Him:goodbecausenextt
imehewoul
dhav
e
endedupinacof f
in.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:I
'
mjoki
ng.
.
Me:
thatdi
dn'
tsoundLi
keaj
oke
Hi
m:wel
litwas,
Itol
dEnhleaboutusandshe
t
oldmethatI
'mthebeastinthemovi
ewhile
y
ouar
ebeaut
y..
thatI
'
m noti
nyourl
eague.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Hi
m: y
ouarel
aughi
ng?
thi
sisahear
tbr
eaki
ng
si
tuat
ion.
.
Me:
youdol
ookLi
ket
hebeastt
hough.
.
Hi
m:youmustbeki
ddi
ngme..
I'
m hotandi
fI
wasn'
ttheny
ouwoul
dn'
tbeher
etoday.
Me:
l
oloksi
r!
Him:Iwi
ll
comeov ert
hisweekendsot
hatwe
spendquali
tyt
imetoget
her
..
Me:
youhav
emoneyt
owast
eIsee
Hi
m:Idon'
tmindwasti
ngitonthepersonIl
ove.
.
Wewill
spendtheweekendtoget
her.
.
Me:
whataboutmypar
ent
s?
Hi
m:yourdadi
sgoi
ngonatri
pandyour
st
epmotherwi
l
lbeatsomeuni
ver
sit
yfunct
ion.
.
Me:
howdi
dyouknowal
lthat
?
Hi
m:Ihav
eear
sev
ery
wher
esweet
y
Me:
ok,
butnof
unnybusi
ness.
.
Him:dati
ngavir
gini
saprobl
em, Iwon'
tdo
anyt
hingtoyoubabe.
.y
ouwil
lletmeony our
ownf r
eewil
l.
.
Hesai
dseduct
ivel
ythatmywhol
efacewent
r
edthatmoment..
Hi
m:unl
essy
ouwantmet
odoany
thi
ngt
oyou.
.I
won'
t
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Me:
Ihear
dyourdadwasanAut
hor
..
Hewentsi
l
entf
orawhi
l
e..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.whot
oldy
out
hat
?
Me:
Idi
dmyr
esear
ch.
.
Hi
m:smar
t,
Il
ike.
.
Me:
ohhwel
li
t'
sinmybl
ood.
.
Hi
m:wel
l
,It
hinkwewi
l
lmakemor
esmar
terki
ds
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
thi
nki
ngaboutt
hef
utur
eal
ready
..
Him:
yeah..I
'
m pl
anni
ngmyorourf
utur
e
somethi
ngmydadcouldn'
tdo.
.
Me:
nott
obef
orwar
dbutwhatki
l
ledhi
m?
Hi
m:l
eukaemi
a..
Me:
ohhI
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Hi
m:noi
tsok,
Iwas10andIgotov
eri
t.
.
Me:
10.
.Wow!Youwer
est
il
lyoung.
.
Him:yeahandt omakemat t
erswor
semy
Father'
sfamil
ynev err
eal
l
ylikedmymom.
.soi
t
waspr et
tyhard..
Me:
hedi
dn'
tl
eav
eawi
l
l?
Hi
m:yeah.
.pr
ett
ymuchf
oracl
everaut
hor
..He
di
dn'
t.
.
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry,
butt
hankGody
ouhady
our
mom.
.
Him:yeah..shespret
tythest
rongestper
sonI
haveev erseen..
sherai
seduswi t
hcleani
ng
money .
.Irespectherforbei
ngthebestwoman
ihaveev ermet .
.
Me:youshoul
d..
.t
houghherandEnhl
elookl
i
ke
si
sters.
.
Helaughed..
somet
hingIhav
eneverseem hi
m
dounlessit
sa"dontfuckwi
thmelaugh"
Hi
m:It
hinki
tsonl
yri
ghtt
osayshedoesn'
tage.
.
Me:
that
spr
ett
ycool
..
Hi
m:yeah.
.l
ookIwil
lcal
ltomorr
ownow
sl
eep,
youhaveexamstomorrow..
Me:
butI
'
m noty
etsl
eepy
..
Hi
m:Iknowbutsl
eep.
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Hi
m:by
e
Het
henhungup,
l
eav
ingmewi
thasmi
l
eonmy
face,him openingupl ikethattomepr ovedto
mehowhehadat oughlifegrowingup,
growi
ng
upwi thoutadadandl iv
ingofy ourmom's
cleaningsalary .
.Ineverreall
ythoughthewas
thekindofper sont ohav eatoughgrowingup
seasonbutt henagai nast hesayinggoes
"neverjudget hebookbyi tscover"
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t21
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Thefoll
owingday
,Iwokeupanddi
dmynormal
rout
ine.Goi
ngdownstai
rsIf
oundDadandLi
zzy
eati
ng.
Me:
mor
ning
Dad:
pri
ncess
Li
zzy
:sweet
y,
howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
wonder
ful
l
yyou?
Her
:gr
eat
..
Dad:
ummhsoI
'
mleav
ingnow.
.
Hesai
dst
andi
ngup.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lyouguy
swhenIl
and.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oubot
h..
Li
zzy
:wel
ovey
oumor
e..
Het
ookhi
sbagandwal
kedoutwi
thusbehi
nd
us.Hegotinhi
sRangeroveraswewav edhi
m.
West oodbyt
hedoorwatchi
nghi m dr
iveaway,
I
di
dn'treal
i
zeLi
zzycr
yingunti
lIheardhersni
ff
.
Me:
hey
,hewi
l
lbebackbef
orey
ouknowi
t.
.
Isai
dhuggi
ngher
..
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
l
etmegetgoi
ng.
.
Her:
ummhther
e'st
hisf
unct
ionatUni
ver
sit
y,so
Iwasthi
nki
ngy
oucancomewi t
hme..
Me:ummh.
.I
..
Ihave.
.t
hist
hing.
.mov
iedat
ewi
th
Leahsoucan'
t.
.
Her
:owh,
ok.
.ummhnextt
ime
Me:
yeahnextt
ime.
.
Itookmybagwalledouttomycar.Lyi
nghas
neverbeenoneofmystrongpoi
nts.
Idrov
eto
school
Get
ti
ngtomyclassIsatdownandbrowsedon
mybooks.
Ionl
yhad2paperstoday
..AsIwas
st
il
lther
eBar
rycameandst
oodi
nfr
ontofme.
.
Me:
hey
Her
:hi
,
TodayIt
oldmy
sel
fIwoul
dtel
lyou.
.
Me:
tel
lmewhat
?
Her
:Venushasbeengoi
ngonandonabouty
ou
onsoci
almedia.
.
Me:what
?pl
easet
ell
mey
ouarej
oking.
.Ican'
t
hav
emymom onmycaseagai
n..
Her
:no.
.he'
sal
lov
ery ourt
imeli
neandon
t
weeteryouar
eallhetweetsabout
Me:
goodorbadt
hings?
Her
:goodt
hingscause.
.Hesay
shel
ovesy
ou.
.
Me:
whataboutSamant
haorwhat
everhername
i
s?
Her
:shedi
dn'
tcommentonany
thi
ng.
.Tel
lme
whyyouguysbr
okeup?
Me:
i
twasj
ustnotwor
king.
.
Her
:ohh,
I'
m sor
ry.
.sowhoi
sgoi
ngt
obey
our
dat
eattheprom?
Me:
Leah.
.
Her
:but
..
ummhok
Iknewshewant
edt
osaysomet
hingbutshe
kepti
t.
Me:
yeah.
Her:
howfari
sthedesi
gnerdesi
gni
ngour
dr
esses?
Me:Ihav
en'
taskedLi
zzyy
etbutI
'
m sur
eit
s
al
mostdone.
.
Her
:ok.
.l
etmeseat
..
Me:
thanky
ouf
ort
ell
i
ngme.
.
Her
:i
tsok.
.
Shesatdownandaf t
erawhil
eLeahcame.We
didn'
ttalkt
hatmuch.Aroundbreakwewere
seatingatourusualt
abl
ewhenAl i
cedeci
dedt
o
i
nv adethepeace.Thesmugfaceshe
had,
provedtomeshewasher etost
irup
tr
oubl
enot hi
ngmor eandt
roubl
eanddrama
werethelastt
hingsIwant
ed.
Her
:gi
rl
s!
Me:
Ali
ce
Her
:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngDar
li
ng?
Me:
feel
i
ngaboutwhatexact
ly?
Her
:ohhaboutVenusdumpi
ngy
ou.
.
Me:
wel
lI'
m ok
Her
:poort
hing.
.i
tmusthur
t
Leah:
howabouty oustopst
icki
ngy
ournose
whereitdoesn'
tbel
ong?
Her
:ohhheyLeah,
Idi
dn'
tseey
out
her
e..
Bar
ry:Iknewyouhadaprobl
em wi
thyourey
e
si
ght,
y ouneedt
oseetogotoanopti
mist
Her
:me?
opt
imi
st?
please
Leah:
whi
l
eyouar
est
il
lthi
nki
ngabouti
t,
how
abouty
oul
eav
e..
Shet
urnedandwal
kedaway
..
Me:
youguy
sar
esomean?
Leah:
somebodyneedst
oputheri
nherpl
ace.
.
Ij
ustshookmyheadwhileeati
ng.Aft
erbreakI
wrot
eanotherpapert
henfrom t
herewent
home.WhenIgothomeLi z
zywasal r
eadyin.
.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
,howwasy
ourexam t
oday
?
Me:
great
,nextweeki
sthel
astweekofexams
t
hankGod!
Her
:yeah,
soIwast
hinki
ngweeatoutt
oni
ght
?
Me:
that
'sagr
eati
dea.
.
Her
:youwantt
ochangeor
?
Me:
no,
I
'm good.
.
Her
:l
et'
sgo.
.
Me:
goodt
hingwear
egoi
ngout
,Iwantt
obuya
phone.
.mybr
othersentmoney
..
Her
:ok,
wecanpassbythephoneshopsbef
ore
goi
ngtother
est
aurant
..
Me:
ok
Wedroveout,
wentt ot hemall
..
visi
tedafew
shopsunti
lIf
inall
ysawi t
.Af
terpurchasi
ngwe
wenttosomer estaur
antandhaddi nnerther
e.
Aswewer esti
lleati
ng, myphonerang.Itwas
Enhl
esoIjustanswer ed..
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
,howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m goody
ou?
Her:
wellI'
m st
il
lonhol
iday
..
Sti
l
lenj
oyi
ngbeing
home,sti
l
lseati
ngmylazyassdown.WhatcanI
wishformore?
Me:wel
lI'
m sti
ll
writ
ingmyexams,wi
l
lbedone
nextweekthenaft
erthatI
'
m donewi
thhi
gh
school
..
Her
:goodf
ory
ou.
.any
waysoy
ouandBandi
l
e?
Il
aughed.
.SomehowIknewshewoul
daskthat
andall
Ihavebeendoi
ngiswai
ti
ngf
orhert
o
ask.
.
Me:
wewhat
?
Her:
het
oldmet
haty
ouguy
sar
edat
ing.
.i
sit
t
rue?
Me:
yesi
tst
rue.
.
Shescr
eamed.
.
Her
:Wow!Thi
smom hast
oknow.
.
Me:
youar
esof
unny
..
Her
:i,
personall
ythi
nky
ouguy
swoul
dmakea
per
fectcouple.
.
Me:
Ihopeso.
.
Her:
God!
thi
sist
hegr
eat
estnewsIhav
eev
er
had.
.
Me:
lol
..
Ibetso
Her
:sowhenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
butsoon
Her
:bet
terbesoon.
.ummhspeaki
ngoft
he
dev
il
..
he'
sherebye
Shethenhungupl
eavi
ngmelaughi
ng.
.Li
zzy
hadhereyesonmethewhol
eti
me.
Her
:and?
whowast
hatwhol
efty
ousmi
l
ingl
i
ke
t
hat?
Me: well
,
itsmy..
myfr
iend.
.Enhl
e..
theoneIonce
helpedthelastti
mewewentshopping
together.
.
Her
:ohh.
.t
heonewhosaidy ouandherbr
other
wouldmakeanicecoupl
e..
Me:
yes
Isai
dsmi
l
ing.
.
Her
:andt
hatsmi
l
e?
Me:
whatsmi
l
e?
Her
:t
hatone.
.don'
ttel
lmey
ouar
eal
ready
dat
ingt
hebr
other
..
Me:
thatwoul
dn'
tbesobad.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:Iseey
ou.
.
Me:
what
?lol
Her
:gi
rl
s!
Wehadt her emai ningmi nutesofdinnerwith
herteasingme.Get ti
nghomeIswappedmy
simcardt omynewphone. .Itookalong
bath,
thenaf terbathingwor emypj'spreparing
forsleeping.I mmedi atel
ywhenmyheadhi tthe
pil
lowIsl eptbuti twasn'tlonguntilIheardmy
phoner i
ngi ngi nmysl eep,Ii
gnoredatf i
rstbuti
t
start
edr i
ngi ngagai n.Withoutopeningmyey es
Ianswer ed..
Me:
hel
l
o..
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Hersleepyvoiceindi
catedthatshewas
sleepi
ng,i
tsoundedsexyt hough.Foramoment
thereIl
etitr
egisteragai
ninmymi ndt
hatshe
wasmi ne,
allmine!
Me:
hey
..
Her
:Bandi
l
e?
Me:
no,
thepol
i
ce.
.
Ther
ewassi
l
encef
orawhi
l
e..
Her
:ohhhey
..
Me:
sl
eepi
ngal
ready
?
Her
:yes,I
'm st
il
laschool
studenti
fyoudont
r
eal
ize..
Me:thanksfornot
if
yingmeonsomet
hingI
al
readyhaveknowledget
o..
Her
:any
wayhowar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m ok,
you?
Her
:I
'm good,
youst
il
lcomi
ng?
Me:
yeah,
Iwi
l
ltakeamor
ningf
li
ghtt
omor
row.
.
Her
:oh,
I
'm gl
ady
ouar
ecomi
ngt
hough.
.
Me:
Ithoughty
ousai
dIwaswast
ingmoney
..
Her
:yeah,
butI
'
m happyy
ouar
ecomi
ngj
ustf
or
me.
.
Me:
becauseIl
ovey
ou,
howwasy
ourexams
t
oday?
Her
:wel
ltheywer
eok.
.Ipr
epar
edenoughf
or
t
hem..
Me:
good,
Iwantwhat
'
sbestf
ory
ou.
.
Her
:t
hat'
snice,
Ihavebeenmeani
ngtoask..
who
wasthatgi
rlwhoansweredy
ourphonethat
t
ime?
Me:
i
twasEnhl
e
Tell
ingheri
twasoneofmyboot
ycal
lwasn'
tan
opti
onespecial
l
ynowknowi
nghowsheli
kes
tr
ipping.
Her
:ohh,
ok..
IthoughtEnhl
est
ayswi
thy
our
mom though
Me:
wel
lshedoes,
butf
ort
hehol
i
dayshe'
swi
th
me.
.
Her
:Isee,
youguy
sseem pr
ett
ycl
ose.
.
Me:
she'
smyonl
ysi
bli
ng.
.
Her
::
wellt
hat'
sgoodt
ohav
eabondl
i
ke
t
hat.
.howoldarey
ou?
Me:
30goi
ngt
o31,
I
'm pr
ett
yol
dyouknow.
.
Shegi
ggl
edsof
tl
y.
.
Her
:nowt
hat
'sal
i
e
Me:
howol
ddoy
out
hinkIam?
Her
:Idon'
twantt
othi
nkabouti
t.
.
Me:
thenwhyask?
Her
:cur
iousi
tymay
be.
.
Me:I
'
m 24,weonlyhavea6y
eardi
ff
erence.
.
That
'snotbadri
ght?
Her
:yeah,
Iknewy
ouwer
esomewher
ear
ound
t
here.
.
Me:t
hefi
rstt
imeIsawyou,
Ithoughtmay
bey ou
were15,
nott
ooffendy
oubutdamny ouare
shor
t.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:nooff
encetaken,
plusy
ouarenotthefi
rst
per
sontosaythat.
.Pr
obabl
ynott
helast.
Me:
obv
iousl
y,y
ouj
ustdi
ff
erent
lybeaut
if
ul.
.
Shegi
ggl
edagai
n..
Her:
Inev
ert
houghty
ouwer
etheki
ndt
obeLi
ke
t
his.
.
Me:
l
ikewhat
?
Her
:beni
ce,
youl
ooksocol
d..
Me:
may
bei
tsbecauseIl
ovey
ou,
don'
tyout
hink?
Her
:may
be.
.
Me:
thef
ir
stti
meIsawyou,IknowmaybeIwas
amonst
erbutIdi
dn'
tnot
iceonethi
ng..
Her
:whati
sthat
?
Me:
youhavebeaut
if
uley
es,
thetimeIsawyou
wi
thEnhl
e..
Isawhowbeaut
iful
theywere
Her
:myey
esar
ewei
rd.
.
Me:i
fyoudon'
tseeyourownbeaut
ythenIdon'
t
knowwhattotel
lyou.
.
Her
:youcanal
way
stel
lmeunt
ili
tregi
ster
sin
mymi nd
Me:
Icandot
hat
..
Her
:yeah.
.Iwoul
dlov
ethat
Me:
ok,
l
etmel
ety
ouhav
eyourbeaut
ysl
eep.
.
Her
:ok,
Idon'
tknowwhybutIl
ovey
ouBandi
l
e
Me:
andIl
ovey
out
oobut
ter
fl
y.
.
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Her
:but
ter
fl
y?
Me:
youar
ebeaut
if
ull
i
keabut
ter
fl
y.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:ok.
.
ThenIhungup, hear inghersayIl oveyou
broughtthisunfami li
arf eel
i
ngi nmyheart,
she
l
ov edmeandIdi dt oobutwi llthi
slov
econquer
any t
hing?Thefollowi ngday ,
Ipackedafew
cl
ot hesinabag..Iwasj ustgoingtostat
esfor2
day sonly.
.AsIfinishedpacki ngmydoorswung
openandEnhl eemer ged..
Her
:goi
ngsomewher
e?
Me:
lear
ntoknockandy
es,
Iwi
l
lbebackon
Monday.
.
Her
:ohh,
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
somewher
e,keepmyhousei
nor
der
..
Her
:ok.
.any
wayI
'
m goi
ngt
olookf
oraj
obt
oday
Me:
goodmov
e..
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
okby
e
Isaidwalkingoutt
omycar ,Ihadall
my
tr
avell
ingdocumentsinplace.Arr
ivi
ngatt
he
air
portIrecei
vedatextf
rom Senzeni
"
Done"
AtleastnowIcouldbreatheasil
y,Ican'
tbe
deali
ngwi t
hsomemul lsri
ghtnow, af
teraf
ew
minuteslaterIwasal
readyintheplane.
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Therehasbeenday swereIwashappybut
todaytookitall
.Iwokej
ustfeeli
nghappyandI
wasdet erminednott
oletanyonerui
nitf
orme.
Getti
ngt oschooli
nthemorningIfoundBen
wai
ti
ngformeatthecl
assdoor,
immediatel
y
whenhesawmehesmi ledandinv
olunt
aryI
smil
edbackappr
oachi
nghim..
Me:
Ben
Hi
m:hey
,Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
oh,
let
'
sgoseatdown.
.
Wewentt oseatatmydeskashesatwher
e
Leahusual
lyseats.
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m goody
ou?
Hi
m:I'
m Ok,ummhsowhoisyourdat
eatpr
om
si
nceyouandVenusbr
okeup?
Me:
Leah.
.
Hi
m:oh,
Ithoughtshehadadat
eal
ready
?
Me:
shedi
dact
ual
l
y..
Hi
m:ok.
..Wel
lIt
houghty
oudi
dn'
thav
eadat
e..
Iknewwhathewant
edt
oaskbutIdi
dn'
twant
t
omaket
heconv
ersat
ionawkwar
dbybr
ingi
ng
i
tup.
Me:
oh,
any
wayhowar
etheexamscomi
ng?
Him:good,act
ual
l
ymuchmor
eeasi
ert
hanI
anti
cipat
ed..
Me:
that
'sgood.
.
Hi
m:y
eah,
mymi
ndi
sreal
l
yonuni
ver
sit
y..
Me:
met
oo.
.
Aft
erawhil
eLeahcame, Benlef
taf
terawhi
le.
.
Themorni
ngwentwell
..TodayIhadonepaper
towri
temeani
ngIwasgoi nghomealit
tl
eearl
y.
.
Aft
erwr i
tingmyexam IhangoutwithBarr
yand
Leahforawhi l
ewhohadanot herexam i
nthe
midafternoon.
.Aswewer eseatedatsome
outdoorbenchIsawJeremiahapproachi
ngus,
hewasal one..
Hi
m:Kr
is,
canwet
alk?
Me:
ummhOK
Isai
dasIstoodupandwal
kedadi
stanceaway
fr
om Bar
ryandLeahwit
hhi
m..
Him:Isee,y
oubusybei nghappywhil
esomeone
i
stearingapartbecauseofyou.Whatki
ndofa
personareyou?
Il
ookedathi
m al
lconfusedwonder
ingwhathe
wasonaboutbecauseIwascompletel
ylost
Me:
excuseme?
Him:
howdoy ousleepatni
ghtknowing
someoneel
seisteari
ngapartbecauseofy
ou?
Me:
Idon'
tgetwhaty
ouar
esay
ing.
.
Him:
ohhthesamewayy oudon'
tgethowy
our
boyf
ri
endbeatupVenus?
Me:
youdon'
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
Him:ohhwel
lIthi
nkIdo,Iwi
shtheyki
ll
edy
ou
becausepet
tywhoresl
ikedeser
vetodi
e
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
Ithi
nkIshoul
dleav
enow
Hi
m:y
eah,
runy
ouskankwhor
e!
Il
ookedathim wi
thtear
sthr
eateni
ngmyey es,
i
st hi
swhatVenusthi
nksofme?Askankwhor e?
Itr
iedbl
inki
ngmytearsawaybuttheyst
il
l
escapedmyeyes.
.
Him:
godi splayyourcrocodi
let
ear
ssomewhere
el
se,Idon'tevenknowwhyVenusl ov
edyou,
I
knewyouwoul dbreakhim..
Iwalkedawayfrom hi
m,butasIwalkedawayI
fel
tastrongfi
rm gr
ipinmyhanddraggingme
backthatIal
mostfell
.
Me:
Jer
emi
ahl
etgoofmyhand
Him:staythefuckawayf rom Venus,because
forstart
ersy ounothistypeandsecondl ywel
l
secondlybecausey oujustnotitsogobackt o
whicheverwhor eyoucamef rom wherepeople
l
ikeyouexi st
Hesti
l
lhadhi
sfi
rm gr
ipinmyhand,Iev
enf
elt
l
ikemyhandwascr
ushing.
.Tear
skept
str
eamingasIendur
edthosepai
nful
wor
dsand
thephy
sical
painbot
h.
"
Letgoofherhand"
Ididn'thav
etot ur
nt oknow
whowasthat,
itwasLeahnodoubt .Jeremiah
l
etgoofmyhandandl ookedatLeah..
Hi
m:andwhot
heheckar
eyou?
Leah:
noty
ourf
ri
endobv
iousl
y
Him:
Idon'
thaveti
mefort
his,
asf
ory
oust
ay
awayatfr
om Venus
Hesai
dashewal
kedaway.
.Leahhuggedme
asIj
usthel
dmyt
ear
stry
ingsohardnottocr
y
byal
lmeans.
Her
:I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ryaboutt
hat
..
Me:
i
tsok,
letmegetgoi
ng
Her
:wi
l
lyoubeok?
Me:
yes.
.Seey
ouonMonday
Her
:ok.
.
Iwal
kedt
omycarhol
dingi
t,t
hemomentI
droveoutoft heschool pr
emi sesIl etitallout,
a
l
oudcr y,Iwasr eall
yhur t.
.Ihav enev erspoken
toJer emi ahev er,al
lIev erdidwasseehi m wi t
h
Venusandconsi deri
nghowVenusi sclosewi t
h
him may bethat '
swhatt heyt houghtofme. .I
parkedmycaratt hesi deoft her oadasIcr i
ed
mor e,afterawhi leIcalmedmy selfdownand
drovehome.Iwentst raightt omyr oom whenI
arri
vedhome, IwasAl onesi nceIcameback
earl
y .Itooksleepi ngpi ll
sanddr ankt hem, aft
er
awhi leIhadpassedoutonmybed.Icoul dhear
mynamebei ngcal l
edoutt oget herwi thv i
olent
shaking.Thev oi cegrewmor eandmor el ouder
unti
l Islowlyopenedmyheav yey eli
ds.Icoul d
seeLi zzy..
Her
:ohht
hankGod!Youar
eawake.
.
ShehelpedmeseatasIf
ull
yopenedmyeyes,
herey
eswer er
edli
keshehasbeencr
ying.
.
Her
:don'
tev
erdot
hatagai
n..
Thatmomenti
tal
lcameback,
Jer
emi
ah'
shar
sh
words,
theysankdeepl
yinmyhear
tandhi
t
wherei
thurts.
Her:
Bandi
l
ecall
ed.
.Hesai
dyoushouldcal
lhi
m
assoonasyouwakeup.
.It
hought
..
Me:I
'
m sor
ry.
.Ij
ustwant
edt
osl
eepsoIt
ook
sl
eepi
ngpi
l
ls
Her
:pl
easedon'
tev
erscar
emel
i
ket
hat
..
Me:
Ihopey
oudi
dn'
tcal
ldad.
.
Her
:Iwasscar
ed,
Ihadt
o..
Me:
ohJesus!I
tsok,
Iunder
stand.
.
Her
:Ial
socal
l
edanambul
ance
Me:
ok.
.
Her:
andwhenIreal
i
zedy
ouwer
enotwaki
ngI
t
oldtheBandi
l
eguy
Me:noyoudi
dn'
t!Pl
easet
ell
mey
ouar
ejoki
ng
sowelaughi
tout
Shel
ookeddown.
.
Me:
Godhe'
sgoi
ngtothi
nki'
m mor
echi
l
dish.
.
Di
dyouhav
etotel
lhi
m al
so?
Isai
dpacingupanddownt heroom,myhear
t
wasbeatingf
astandt
oomanywhati t'
s
escal
atedinmymindunt
ilIsatdown.
Her:
mymindwasall
overthepl
ace,
Idi
dn'
t
knowwhatt
odo,Iwasscared.
.
Ibreat
hedout,
ofcauseshemusthavebeen
scaredandher
eIwasmaki ngherf
eelbad.
Me:I
'm sor
ry,
itsj
ustt
hat
..Idon'
twanthi
m
t
hinki
nghe'sdati
ngachi
ldishgi
rl
..
Her
:maybethat
'swhyhel
ovesyoubecausei
f
hedi
dn'
tthenwhywouldhesti
ckar
ound..
Thenwhywoul dhe?t
obehonestBandil
eisvery
handsomeandhecanhav eanyonehechooses
tobewithandthefactt
hatt
her
ear enotebet
ter
womenoutt her
escaredme.
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.-
Thenwehear
daknock.
.
Her:
mustbet
heambul
ance,
letmet
ell
them
f
alseal
arm
Me:
ok
Asshewalkedoutmyphonestar
tedr
ingi
ng,i
t
wasdad.Itookaheav
ybreat
hasIanswered.
.
Hi
m:pr
incess?Pumpki
n?
Me:
Dad.
.
Him:ohGod,t
hankGody
ouar
eok.
..What
happened?
Me:
I.
.Justt
ooksomesl
eepi
ngpi
l
ls
Hi
m:why
?
Me:Iwastir
edandwantedtosl
eep.
.I'
mreal
l
y
sor
ryforscarr
ingy
ouli
kethat
Hi
m:don'
tev
erdot
hat
..
Me:
OK,
hav
eyouar
ri
ved?
Hi
m:y
es.
.It
hinkIwi
l
lcomebacksooner
Me:
what
?Why
?
Hi
m:Ihav
etokeepy
ousaf
e..
Me:
butLi
zzyi
sher
e
Hi
m:y
es,
shei
s..But
..-
Me:comeondad,
Ijustt
hinky
ouar
e
ov
er r
eact
ing
Hi
m:may
beIwi
l
lsee
Me:
goodni
ght
..
Hi
m:goodni
ghtpr
incess
ThenIhungupwithasi
gh,t
urningar
oundI
foundBandi
keeyesonme,Ifr
ozeasIstar
ed
backathim,
whatwashedoinghere?
Hi
m:ar
eyouj
ustGoi
ngt
ost
andt
her
e?
Iwal
kedupt ohi
m andhuggedhim,hehel
dme
ti
ght
lyasIburi
edmyheadonhi schest
.If
eltal
l
emoti
onalagai
nandlett
earsfal
l.
.
Hi
m:Kr
isy
ouok?
Hesai
dpull
i
ngmyheadfrom hi
schest
,the
momenthesawmytear
sheletmeburrymy
headonhi
schestagai
n..Hepickedmeupand
l
aymeonmybedashel aybesidesme.Hest
il
l
hel
dmet i
ght
lycl
osert
ohi m.
.
Hi
m:whoi
sit
?
Me:
who?
Iaskedwi
thacr
ackyv
oice.
.
Hi
m:t
heper
sonwhoi
smaki
ngy
oucr
y?
Tel
lingBandil
eit
sJer emiahwaspr obabl
ya
wrongmov e,Bandil
ewoul drear
range
Jeremiah'
sfaceandIdi dn'
twantthat.
.t
heway
hewasev encalm nodoubthewasmad. .
Me:
i
tsnobody
Hi
m:t
hat
'swhyy
ourhandsar
ebr
uised?
Iputmybr
uisedhandaway
..
Hi
m:noneed,
Isawt
hatal
ready
Me:
I.
.I.
.
Hi
m:t
ryi
ngIt
ocookupal
i
e?
Me:
no.
.I.
Him:
don'
tbot
heryoursel
f,Iwi
l
lfi
ndoutanyway
..
Andsomeoneisgoi
ngt opayonewayorthe
ot
her
Ikeptqui
et.
.Idi
dn'
tev
enknowwhatt
osay
..
Him:promi
semey ouwon' tev
erdothat
,nev
er
scaremeli
kethat.Thethoughtofl
oosi
ngy ou
breaksmyheart
..
promiseme
Me:
Ipr
omi
se.
.
Him:Il
oveyousomuchKris,
maybemor ethan
youthi
nkbutIlov
eyousomuchandt hereis
someoneouttheremaki
ngyousadthatperson
i
salsomakingmesadandIhateitwheny ou
aresad
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Him:
any
waydi
dyougot
oschool
dressedup
l
iket
hat
?
Iwasi
nanov
ersi
zedT-
shi
rtwi
thaj
ean.
Me:
yeah,
somet
hingwr
ong?
Hi
m:y
oul
ookl
i
ket
hel
ate80'
stomboy
s
Il
aughedsof
tl
yhi
tt
inghi
m..
Me:
that
smean
Hi
m:i
tsthet
ruth.
.maki
ngmewonderwhaty
ou
ar
ehi
dingbeneat
hthosecl
othes.
.
Me:
whatexact
lycoul
dIbehi
ding?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknow,
somesexybody
..
Ibur
iedmyheadonhi
schestwhi
l
egi
ggl
i
ng
shyl
y..
Hi
m:y
ouar
esoshy
Me:
noI
'
m not
..
Hi
m:y
esy
ouar
eandy
ouknowi
t.
.
Me:
wher
ear
eyoust
ayi
ng?
Hi
m:atahot
el.
.
Me:
ok,
byt
hewaywher
eisSet
h?
Hi
m:he'
sther
e,t
her
e'samomentwher
eI
t
houghty
ouguy
sli
kedeachot
her
Il
aughed
Me:
youar
ecr
azy
Hi
m:I
'
m ser
ious.
.Any
wayy
ouar
emi
nenow.
.
Hesaidleaningov ertome, hi
slipstouched
mineandIj ustfel
tthisel
ect r
icv i
bethat
tr
avell
edthroughmybodymaki ngmeshakea
bi
t.Hegotmor ecloserasIcl i
ncheduntohi m.
Thewayhe' skissesalway sgetmeweakmakes
mewanthi m mor e,thi
sist hesecondt i
mewe
ki
ssandast hefir
sttimeI'm weakathi stouch.
Wewer edisturbedbymyphoner ingi
ng,my
heartbeatfastasIsawt hescr een,i
twasVenus
andBandilehadhi seyesonme.Whydi dVenus
havetocallattimesl i
kethis.
Bandi
l
e:answeri
t.
.
Sl
owl
yIanswer
ed.
.
Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:heyKr
is,
Leaht
oldmeaboutJer
emi
ah.
.I
di
dn'tsendhi
m Iswear
.Idon'
tknowwhat
's
got
tenintohi
m butbel
i
evemeIhadnoideahe
wasgoingtocomet oyou
Me:
i
tsok
Hi
m:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry,
Iam r
eal
l
yreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Me:
ther
e'snoneed,
ummhIhav
etogo.
.
Isaidhangi
ngup,notgi
vi
nghi
mthechancet
o
respondandlooki
ngatBandi
l
ewhohada
emot i
onl
essface.
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryaboutt
hat
,i
twasal
li
nnocent
Hel
aughedabi
t.
.
Hi
m:l
ookbutt
erfl
y,Iknowitsnot.
.I
'
m nott
hat
muchi
nsecur
e..Il
ovey ouenoughtotr
ustyou.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Him:
pluswhywouldIgetthr
eatenedwi
thsome
guywi
t haf
unnynamelikethat
?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
that
smean
Him:noseri
ousl
y,somest
afft
hough.
.l
etme
keepquiet
Me:
thanky
ouf
orcomi
ngher
e
Him:don'
tthankme,I
'm her
ebecauseI
care.
.pl
usitsnotev
erydayIhav
eagi r
lf
ri
end
overdosi
ngpill
s
Me:
Idi
dn'
tov
erdoseIj
ust
-
Him:
it
sok,
what
evert
haty
oudi
d..
nev
erdoi
t
agai
n
Me:
yes
Isai
dsnuggl
i
ngcl
osert
ohi
m..
Me:nott
obefor
wardbutwho'
srunni
ngy
our
companywhi
l
ey ouar
ehere?
Him:Ireal
l
ydon'
trunthatcompany
,of
ficeshi
t
ai
n'tformeandhowt hefuckdi
dyouknow
aboutmycompany ?
Me:whenIwasdoi
ngmyr
esear
chIcame
acr
ossit
Hi
m:y
ouarest
alki
ngme?andher
eIt
houghti
t
wast
heot
herwayround.
.
Isof
tl
yLaughed
Me:
noIwasn'
t.
.
Hi
m:y
ouwer e,
anywayIr
eall
yhat
ebei
ngst
uck
i
naoffi
ce,
behindadesk.
.
Me:
thenwhatdoy
oudo?
justseatathome?
Hi
m:no
Idi
dn'taskfur
ther.
.notbecauseIdi
dn'
twantto
butbecauseIthoughtit
sbestIdidn'
tknow.
Him:
youcanaskanyt
hing,Idon'
twanty
out
o
behear
ingt
hingsf
rom people
Me:
no,
Idon'
thav
eanyquest
ions.
.
Hi
m:ok,
doy
out
rustme?
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Hesai
dlooki
ngatme.
.
Hi
m:l
et'
scont
inueont
hatki
ss
Hesai dpul lingmecl osert ohi m agai
n.We
talkedunt ilIfell
asl eep, waki ngupt hef ol
l
owi ng
mor ni nghewasn' tbymysi demeani nghel eft
.I
sighedasIgotup. .
myhear tfel
tabitheav y
realisinghewasn' tbymysi deany more.
Yest erdayni ghtbroughtt hisfeeli
ngtomet hatI
cantbr ingtoexpl ai nt hesamewayIcant
explai nt helov eIhav ef orhi m,asmuchasIl ove
him butIr eal l
ycoul dn' tmaket hefeeli
ngthatI
wasgoi ngt ohur tbadl yatt heendoft hisall
go. .
Idi dn'twantt oev ent hi nkaboutitbecause
i
tdr ainedal lmyener gybutonet hi
ngI
promi sedmy sel
fandt hist i
meIwasgoi ngt o
keepmypr omi se..nomat terwhatIwasgoi ng
tof i
ghtf orhi m,f
orusbecauseIknewt hat
l
oosi ngBandi lewoul dki l
lme. .Iwenttomy
closetandt ookhi sj acketandhuggedi tcloser
tome, If el
tlikeast upi dr etardhighschool girl
withacr ush.Iplacedt hej acketbackasIwent
andt ookashower .Dr essedupi nabi ddy
huggingmi dthi
ghdress,aleat
herj
ackett hen
fi
nishedi toffwit
hconverse.Iworear ubber
watcht henwal kedoutofmyr oom,l
ockedt he
doorandpl acediti
nmyj acket'
spockett hen
wentdownst air
s..
.Get
tingdownstairsLizzy
wasal readyup,shehadpr epar
edaf ullEnglish
breakfast..
Her
:hey
,howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
tobehonest
,Isl
eptwi
thasmi
l
eonmyf
ace.
.
Her
:mhhm i
tsBandi
l
eai
n'
ti
t?
Me:
hispresencei
senought
omakeme
smi
l
e..am Igoi
ngcrazy
?
Her
:no,
hun.
.t
hat
'showl
ovef
eel
sli
ke.
.
Me:If
eell
ikethewhol
ewor
ldi
sgoi
ngt
obe
agai
nstus..
Her:well
thewholeworl
dbeingagai
nsty
ou
doesn'tmatt
eraslongasyoumakeachoi ceto
holdeachother
shandsandgot hr
oughitall
together
..
Me:
Ihopewesur
viv
eit.
.Il
ovehi
mtoomuch
t
hatl
oosi
nghi
m wouldkil
lme.
.
Shehuggedme,af
terawhi
l
ewewer
eseat
ing
herdel
i
ciousbr
eakfast
.
Me:
thi
sisv
erydel
i
cious.
.
Her
:t
hankyousweet
y..
ummhsoBandi
let
old
meaboutt
akingy
ououttodaysoy
ouunwi
nd..
Me:
hedi
d?
Her
:yeah..
whenyoucomeback,
Iwi
l
ldropy
ouat
t
hemov ieswhereyouwantt
ogowit
hLeah
t
henalsopickyouup..
Me:
thatwouldbelovel
y.
.
But
..
ummh..Leah.
.sai
d..
shewi
l
lpi
ckme.
.up
Her
:ohh,
Idontmi
ndt
aki
ngy
oubot
hther
e..
Me:
youareso.
.awesomebutIt
hink.
.wewi
l
l
manage.
.
Her:
I'
mjustt
ryi
ngt
omakesur
eyouar
esaf
eat
al
lti
mes..
Me:andIl
ovey
ousomuchf
ort
hatbutwewi
l
l
beok..
Her
:youdol
oveme?
Me:
yeah.
.Il
ovey
ou
Shesmi
l
edast
ear
sfi
l
ledherey
es.
.
Her
:Il
oveyoutoosweety
..
incasey
ouneed
any
thi
ngjustcal
l
,don'
thesi
tat
e
Me:
ok.
.
Aft
ereati
ngIr
eceiv
edat extfr
om Bandi
l
e
tel
l
inghe'
sout
sidethegate..
Me:
ok,
he'
sher
e
Her
:l
etmegi
vehi
m awar
ningt
alk.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Her
:I
'm ser
iousl
et'
sgo.
.
Me:
ok
Wewal
kedout
sidet
hegat
ewi
thLi
zzybehi
nd
me.
.
Bandi
l
ethengotoutofthecar
,Idon'
tthi
nkhe
wasexpect
ingt
oseeLizzy.
.
Hi
m:ummhmor
ning
Li
zzy:
youbet
terbri
ngherinonepieceorel
seI
wil
lmincemeatyouandnexttimeyouwill
knowMacverdana'
sarenotthepeopl
etomess
wit
h
Shesaidtryi
ngtosoundScar
ry,
Il
aughed.
.
Bandi
lejustnodded
Her
:good,
hav
efunsweet
y
Shesai
dki
ssi
ngmyf
orehead
Me:
ok.
.
Iwalkedt
owar
dsBandi
l
easLuzzywal
kedback
i
nside.
Hi
m:Wow!
Me:
I'
m sor
ryaboutt
hat
..
Isai
dlaughi
ng.
.
Hi
m:notWowy
oust
epmom,
Wowy
ou,
youl
ook
soBeaut
if
ul.
.ver
ybeaut
if
ulIev
enf
eel
jeal
ous.
.
Ishy
lyl
ookeddown.
.
Hehel dmyhandandl edmet othepassenger
sit,
thenopenedthedoorforme.Igoti
nsideand
sodi dhe.Hedrovetothemall
,gotoutand
camebackaf t
erawhil
ewi t
hplast
icsthathe
placedatthebackseat.Hegotinandstarted
thecaragain.Hedroveoutoftownthen
stoppedalongwayandhepar kedbesidesthe
road.
Me:
wher
ear
ewe?
Him:l
et'
sgetof
fandst
opaski
ngt
oomany
quest
ions.
.
Wegotof fthecar,
hetooktheplasti
candsome
miniblanket.Wewal kedabitint
othewoods
unti
lwecameacr osst hi
sothertr
ee,
heplaced
themini blankett
hereaswesatdown.Het ook
outwhatwasi ntheplasti
csanditwassome
snacks.
Me:
howdi
dyouf
indt
hispl
ace?
Hi
m:onet
imemycarst
oppedr
unni
ngar
ound
t
hisar
ea.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
nev
erknewt
hoset
hingscanhappent
oyou
Hi
m:asl
ongasI
'
m humani
tsur
edoes.
.
Wel aydownont hebl
anketwit
hmyheadonhi
s
chestasIli
stenedtohi
ssteadyhear
tbeat
.
Hi
m:di
dyoutell
yourst
epmot
hery
ouwi
l
lbe
wi
thmeunti
ltomorr
ow?
Me:
youmeanI
'
m sl
eepi
ngaty
ourhot
elr
oom
t
oni
ght?
Hi
m:y
eah
Il
aughedbutst
oppedal
ongway
..
Me:
that
'snotaj
oke?
Hi
m:ser
ious.
.
Me:
no.
.I
..
how.
.
Him:whataboutt
hemov
iet
hingshesai
dyou
have,
what'
sthat?
Me:Ij
ustthoughtmaybeIwoul
dspendthe
wholedaywithyouthendr
opmeoffaround
2200hr
s
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:ok,
buti
tsnotl
i
keIwi
l
ldoany
thi
ngt
oyou
Kr
is.
.
Me:
Idontwantt
obepr
egnant
Hel
aughed.
.
Him:
pregwhat
?ifIdon'
tdoanyt
hingtoy
out
hen
howcanyoupossibl
yfal
lpr
egnant?
Me:
whati
fthi
ngsgetoutofcont
rol
?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lsl
eepont
hef
loor
..
howi
sthat
?
Il
ookedathi
m andhewasst
il
ll
aughi
ng.
.
Him:Ipromi
se,onmyf ather'
sgraveIwon'
tdo
anyt
hingtoyou..Wellatleastany
thi
ngthatwi
ll
makey oupregnant
..Deal?
Me:
ok.
.ar
eyouser
iousaboutt
hef
loort
hing?
Hi
m:stopbei
ngfunny.
.I
'm notser
ious.
.Isai
dI
won'
tdoanyt
hingthatwil
lmakey oufal
l
pr
egnant.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Iputmyheadbackonhi
schestagai
n..
Him:
thewayyouaresoscar
edofsexmakes
melaugh.
.Onewayortheot
her
..
weareoneday
goi
ngtohavesex.
.
Me:
Iknow,
butnott
odayort
hismont
h..
Isai
dmumbl
i
ng.
.
Him:ofcausenott
oday
..
ort
husmont
hasy
ou
say.
.
Me:
yes.
.
West ayedther
ef orawhil
ebeforehejustdrive
around.Around1600hrsIwasinhi sr
oom whi l
e
hewassor ti
ngsomet hi
ngattherecepti
onist.
.I
decidedtocallLeahbutgotdi
sturbedbyat ext
from Li
zzy"j
ustl
eftf
orthefunct
ion,wi
l
ltr
yto
comebackabi tearl
y,
havefunatthemovi
es"I
thencall
edLeah,
Iseri
ousl
yneededhertocover
upforme. .
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Me:
hey
..
lookIneedaf
avour
..
Her
:whati
sit
?
Me:
Itol
dLi
zzywear
egoi
ngoutf
ormov
ies
t
oni
ght.
.
Her
:wear
e?
Me:
no,
I
'm sneaki
ng
Shegaspedt
henl
aughed.
.
Her
:butsneaki
ngoutwher
e?
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lyouatschool
butpl
easecov
erup
f
orme.
.
Her:
whati
fsomet
hinghappenst
oyouwhi
l
eyou
ar
eoutther
e?
Me:
I'
m att
hehot
elneart
heai
rpor
t.
.If
somethi
nghappensactl
i
key oudon'
tknow
anyt
hingbutnot
hingi
sgoingtohappen.
.Wil
l
youdoit?
Her
:I
ncaseLi
zzycal
l
syes,
Iwi
l
lcov
erf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
thanks
Her
:butdi
dyoul
ocky
ourdoor
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:dontdoany
thi
ngIwon'
tdo
Me:
okby
e
Ihungup,
thenBandi
l
egoti
n..
Me:
done?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hecameandl
aybesi
desmei
nthebed.
.
Me:
hot
ell
i
fei
sni
ce
Isai
dlooki
ngar
ound
Him:st
opact
ingl
i
key
ouhav
enev
ersl
epti
na
hotel
..
Me:
Idi
d,buti
twasn'
ta5st
arhot
el
Hej
ustl
aughed.
.
Hi
m:y
ouwi
l
lgetused
Me:
yes.
.
He'
sphonestar
tedRi
ngi
ng..
helookedatt
he
cal
l
eri
deathenhungupthephone..
Me:
whoi
sit
?
Hi
m:Enhl
e..
Me:
ohok,
maybeit
'
simpor
tant
..Thehouse
may
beonfir
e..
Hi
m: no,
she'
sjustbei
ngannoy
ingbecause
t
hat'
swhatshedoesbest,
Iwastal
kingtohera
f
ewmi nut
esago..
Me:
oh,
ok.
.
Hi
m:y
es
Hesai
dget
ti
ngont
opofme,
Iremai
nedcal
m.
Hi
m:al
readyscar
ed?
Ishookmyheadno
Hi
m:good.
.
Hebroughthisfacecloserandstart
edki ssi
ng
mepassi onat
elywhil
ehishandscar essedmy
wholebody .
.Hisli
pswentfrom myl i
pst omy
neckashecamebet weenmyl egs.From my
neckthenbackt omylipsthenmyear
l
obs."
relax,
Iwon'tdoanythi
ngthatwi l
lmake
youpregnant"
Hewhi speredseduct ivelyandapar tofmej ust
relaxed.Hesl owl yunzippedmydr essandslidit
down.Hi sli
pswentf rom myki pst omy
exposedcl eav age,mybodywasl ov i
ngwhat
washappeni ngt hatIev enletoutamour nashe
kissedmyst omachunt i
lmynav eltomypant ies.
Myhear tbeataccel eratedabi tbuthecame
backt omyl i
psagai nandki sseddeepert han
bef or
easHi shandmadei tswayi nmypant i
es
andst artedrubbingmesof tl
y.Af t
erawhi leI
wassof t
lymour ni ngasher ubbedmef aster
thanbef ore..Iwassot urnedon..Heunhooked
mybr aandt ookitoffthenpul l
edmypant i
es
down.Wi thinami nut
ehe' sheadwasbet ween
myl egswi t
hhi shandssof t
lymassagi ngmy
boobs. Ican' tev enstartt oexplainhowIf eltthat
moment ,Ifel tahugewav eofpleasur ehitme
thatIpushedhi sheaddeeperasIgr abbedon
thesheet s.Hecamebackatmet henki ssedme
all
owingmet otastemy self
.Iki
ssedhi m back
asIwoundedmyl egsonhi swaist ,
het hen
start
edt odr yhumpmebutIcoul df eel hi
shar d
cockt hr oughhi ssweat pants.Itfeltso
good,whathewasdoi ngt omef eltsogoodt hat
forawhi let herethepl easur eIwasget ti
ngwas
theonl yt hingIcoul dmakesenseof .Hedr y
humpedmeashesuckedmyboobsandIj ust
curl
edmyt oesenj oyingi t,
apartofmewant ed
himt oj ustdr agthosesweatpant sdownand
giveittomer ealbutanot herwasj ustscar ed..
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t22
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Waki ngupIwast ightlylockedinBandil
e'sarms.
Asmi l
ecreptonmyf aceasIr emember ed
yesterday'
sev ents.Hedi dn'tdoanythi
ngt hat
wouldgetmepr egnantt hough,t
hatwasar el
i
ef
becausewher et hingshadendedy ester
dayI
wasn' tsur
eifIwoul dhav ebeenabletostop
himi fhedecidedot herwisebecausemy
hormoneshadbet rayedme.Igotoutofhi s
armssl owlymaki ngsur eIdon'twakehim up
thenwentt othebat hroom.Af t
eruri
nati
ngI
washedmyhandst hengotoutoft hebat hroom,
Iwasal mostget t
ingbackt obedwhenhi s
phonecaughtmyat tentionont hedressing
table,itwasenoughat tractingf ormet of eel
l
ikegoi ngt hroughi t.Foramomentt hereI
startedar gui ngwi thmyownmi nd,
itwasabad
i
deat obesnoopi ngonhi sphonel ikeai nsecure
girl
fri
endt hatIl i
terallyfeltlike.Af t
eralotof
hesitationIf oundmy sel fwal kingtowar dsi t
,bad
i
deaKr ismyi nnersel fscr eamedbutIcoul dn't
stopmy self.Wi t
hshaki nghandsIt ookitbut
therewasapasswor d.It ookadeepbr eat hasI
placedi tdownandact uallyt hankedGodi thad
apasswor dbecausewhati fIf oundsomet hing
notpl easing. Ithenwal kedbackt obedand
creptbesi deshi m.
Hi
m:hey
Hesai
dbuthe'
seyeswerecl
osed,
didhesee
me?Ihel
dmybreathl
ooki
ngathim.
Hi
m:howdi
dwesl
eep?
Hesai
dpull
ingmeclosert
ohi
m nowwi
thhi
s
ey
esful
lyopened.
Me:
good,
you?
Hi
m:wi
thy
oubymysi
deper
fect
..
Igigglesshyl
y,f
oramomentt hereIwasjust
feeli
ngspecial
.Hishandcreptinhi
sT-shir
tI
waswear ingthenwentst
raighttomyass.
Me:
Ihav
etogethome
Thatdi
dn'
tst
ophim,i
nst
eadheburiedhi
shead
onmyneckthati
nvol
unt
aryIl
etoutamourn.
.
Me:
babeI
'
m ser
ious
Hi
m:doy
ouhav
etor
uint
hisbeaut
if
ulmoment
?
Me:
IdontwantLi
zzysuspect
ingme.
.Iwi
l
lhav
e
t
ojustshowup.
.
Hi
m:doy
ouev
enknowwhatt
imei
tis?
Me:
nobut
..
-
Him:i
tsnot6y
et,
Iwi
l
ldr
opy
oubyar
ound5
bett
er?
Me:
i
tsal
readyar
ound5
Hi
m:y
ouar
esokeenongoi
ng!
Hesai dgetti
ngoutofbedgoi ngt othe
bathroom.Itookadeepbr eathasIhear dt he
shower ,
hewasbat hi
ngobv iously
.DidIupset
hi
m?Idi dn'
tknowwhyhewasact ingbrandnew
becauseonewayort heotherheknewIhadt o
gethome.Ihear daknockont hedoor ,
i
tmust
havebeent hehot elstaf
fsoIst oodupbutat
al
mostopeni ngt hedoorIr eali
zedIwas
dressedonlyinhisT- shi
rtsoIr etr
eatedand
woret hehotelgownbef oreopeni ngthedoor .
AndasIhadsuspect editwast hehotelstaff
andhewashol dingal ar
geenv elope.
Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:goodmor
ningmam,
I
'ml
ooki
ngMrThul
ani
Me:
ohhe'
sbat
hing,
youcanhandi
tov
erIwi
l
l
makesur
ehegetsi
t.
Hel
ookedatmef
orawhi
l
ebef
orehandi
ngme
theenvel
ope.Iwalkedbackinsi
detheroom and
hewasdone, hewasonlyinatowelandGoddi d
helooksexy.Tobehonestthisni
ggaishotthat
Ievenfel
tjealous.
Hi
m:i
sthatmi
ne?
Inoddedgivi
ngittohi
m.Iwatchedhimtear
downt heenvel
opeandreadt
helett
er.Af
ter
readi
ngitheplacedi
tdownandlookedatme.
Hi
m:ai
n'
tyougonnabat
h?
Istoodupi nsilenceandwal kedst r
aighttothe
bathroom wer eIt ookahotshowerwi t
htears
str
eami ng,callmeacr ybabybuthi m being
coldtowar dsmehur tme,
allbecauseIhadt o
gethome?Af terIwasdonewi thmycr yi
ngI
bathedt henwal kedoutoft heshowerwi t
ha
towel wr appedar oundmybody ,
hewasal ready
donedr essingupandl ookedhot terthan
anythingel seIhav eeverl
aidmyey eson.He
wasdr essedinabr ownchino,somebr own
addidassneaker ,awhi teti
ghtT- shir
tanda
mili
taryjacketthenf i
nishedi toffwit
hami l
it
ary
cap.Nol iehedi dlookf l
y.Iwentov ertomy
yest
erdaycl othesanddr essedupwi thhi
seyes
onmet hewhol etime,Ididf eeluncomfor
tabl
e
butIjusthadt osucki tup.Af terIwasdoneI
l
ookedbackathi m.
Hi
m:done?
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo
Hewal kedoutwi
thmebehindhim andwent
str
aighttot
hecarhewasusing.Assoonaswe
gottothecarhepushedmeslight
lyswif
tl
yunti
l
mybackwasont hecarwit
hhim breathi
ng
downonmyneck, hi
shandswer eonmywai st
.
Hi
m:doy
ouknowhowmuchIl
ovey
ou?
Hewhi
sper
edi
nmyearwhi
l
stsof
tl
yni
bbl
i
ngi
t.
Me:
w..
whyar
eyoubei
ngmeant
ome?
Hechuckl
edl
ooki
ngatme
Him:
mean?comeon,
youwoul
dknowi
fI'
m
bei
ngmean..
Il
ookeddown,
sof
tl
yhet
il
tedmyhead.
.
Hi
m:Idon'
tseemysel
fbeingmeantoy
oubut
t
henifIam,
I'
m sor
ry.
.ar
eyouoknow?
Isl
owl
ynodded.
.
Hi
m:i
sthatwhyy
ouwer
ecr
ying?
Me:
Iwasn'
tcr
ying.
.
Ipr
otest
ed
Hi
m:oh,
that
'swhyy
ourey
esar
ered?
Me:
somet
hingj
ustgoti
nmyey
e..
Hi
m:y
ouar
ear
eal
l
ybadl
i
er
HesaidpressingourbodiestogetherthatI
coul
devenf eelhisdickonmyt ummy .BeforeI
knowithewaski ssi
ngtheli
vingdayl
ightsout
ofme.Passionatelywekissedforawhi leunti
lI
deci
dedtopul loutashisdickwasget t
inghard.
Me:
l
et'
sgo
Hechuckl
edopeni
ngthedoorforme,
shyl
y
smil
i
ngIgoti
nthenhewentovertothedr
iver
's
si
deandgoti
n.Hestart
eddri
vi
ngbackhome.
Hi
m:t
hewayy
ouar
esoscar
edofmyDi
ck!
Ishy
lyl
ookedout
sidet
hrought
hewi
ndow.
.
Him:t
here'
snoneedtobescaredr
eal
l
y,Mr
bazookaisreal
l
ygent
lemanbabe
Hesai
dtaki
ngmyhandandrubbi
ngitonhi
s
Di
ck.Mywholef
acej
ustbecamered.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lpi
cky
ouupl
ater
.
Me:
whatt
imear
eyoul
eav
ing?
Ifi
nal
l
yf oundmyti
nyv
oicesoIaskt
aki
ngmy
handoffhisdi
ck
Hi
m:1900hr
s..
Me:
Iwi
shy
oudi
dn'
thav
etogo
Hi
m:met
oobabebutci
rcumst
ancesbut
ter
fl
y
Me:Iwi
shIwasGodt
henIcoul
deasi
l
ychange
t
hings.
.
Hel
aughed.
.
Him:Iknowyouwoul
d,
whenar
eyoucl
osi
ng
yourschool
s?
Me:
2weeksf
rom now.
.
Hi
m:t
henwhat
?
Me:
thenIcomebackt
oBot
s
Hi
m:ok,
andv
arsi
ty?
Me:
hav
en'
treal
l
ythoughtabouti
t.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.
Hesai
dpul
l
ing3housesf
rom our
s.
Hi
m:i
ts0530,
I
'm sur
eshesnotawakey
et.
.
Me:
yeah,
ummhwi
l
lseey
oul
atert
hen?
Hi
m:y
eah
Hepulledmeclosert
ohim andki
ssedmy
l
ips.
.hepul
ledoutaft
erawhile
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Igotof fthecarandst artedwal king
home, insteadofhi mt akingaU- turnhedr ove
behindmesl owly.Igoti nsidethegat easI
wav edhi m andhej ustwi nkedatme.It ipt
oed
mywayi nsidethehouset henst r
aighttomy
room.Shewasn' tawakey et,
Isl
owl yunlocked
mydoorandgoti nl ockingitagai n.Ithr
ew
my selfonmybedandsi ghedoutheav i
l
youtof
rel
iefthenundr essedaf t
erawhi l
eandgoti n
mypj '
s.It ookmyphoneandwentonFacebook,
notexact lyatmyaccountbutt ol owkeyst alk
Bandile.Iwentt hroughhi spostf orabout30
minutesev enthecomment s.Isomehowf el
t
stupidf ordoingt hat.Af t
erstalkinghim Iwent
tomyi nboxwher ether ewasat extf r
om
Venus. "hey"
Itookabout10minutescontempl
ati
ngon
whethertorepl
yornotbutthenl
astl
ydeci
ded
torepl
y"hi
"
Af
terawhi
l
ehehadal
readyasentanot
hert
ext
"
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryaboutJer
emi
ah"
"
It
sok,
real
ly
..
hewasjustl
ooki
ngoutf
orhi
s
f
ri
endVenus,
it
sok"
"
Hehadnor
ight
,butany
wayhowar
eyou?
"
"
I'
m good,
you?
"
"Notsogoodwit
houtyoubutI'
m ok,Igota
sponsor
shipt
oOxfordbecauseofrugby"
"
Wow!
that
'sni
ce"
"I
twoul
dhavebeenmor
eni
cert
ocel
ebr
atet
he
newswit
hyou"
"Someti
meswedontal waysgetwhatwewant
,I
beli
eveever
ythi
nghappensforareason"
"
Yeah,
Ist
il
ll
ovey
ou"
"
Itsnotwr
ongtost
il
llov
eme,I'
m surey
ouwi
l
l
f
indsomeoneel
sethoughatOxfor
d"
"
Whati
fIwanty
ouonl
y?i
sthatwr
ong?
"
Ididn'
tknowhowtoreplythatsoIj
ustl
eftt
he
textandimmedi
atel
yloggedout.It
ookadeep
breathasItossedmyphonebesi desme.Tobe
honest,
Ij
ustwant edVenustoacceptthefact
thatmeandhi m weredonebutthenIcouldn'
t
forcehi
m.If i
nall
ytookthecouragetojustgo
downstair
sandwat chTVbecausest ayi
ngupin
mybedwasst art
ingtobecomebor i
ng.
Iswit
chedt
heTVonandj ustsatt
her
e
watchi
ngunt
ilLi
zzyf
inal
l
ycamedown.
Her
:mor
ning.
..
Me:
hey
,sl
eptwel
l
?
Her:
yes,Icameinabi
tlat
eandy
ouwer
e
al
readysleepi
ng.
.
Me:
ohhy
eah.
.
Her
:howwast
hemov
ie?
Sheaskedseat
ingbesi
desme.
.
Me:
awesome,
andt
hef
unct
ion?
Iaskedsot
oav
oidt
hemov
iet
alk.
Her
:i
twasni
ce,
Ibr
oughty
ousomecakeweat
e
t
her
e,i
tsi
ntheki
tchen
Me:
ohw,
thanks.
.
Her
:sowhati
syourpl
ant
oday
?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngoutlat
erwi
thBandi
l
e,he'
sleav
ing
t
odaysorat
herspendt
hedaywit
hhi m
Her:
sohowarey ouguysgoi
ngt
ojuggl
eupy
our
di
stancer
elat
ionshi
p?
Me:
ireal
l
ydontknow,
Iev
enf
eel
.
.
Her
:f
eel
what
?
Me:i
nsecure,
Iknowi tsoundscr azybutwho
knowswhathewi ll
bedoi nginmyabsence?I
meanwenotev enhav ingsex,youcan'tt
ell
me
he'
sobviousl
ygoingtowai tforme. .
Her
:Ir
eal
l
ydontknowwhatt
otel
lyou,
but
maybeali
tt
let
rusti
nhi
m wi
l
ldo
Me:Idot
rusthi
m buthaveyouseenhi
slev
elof
hot
tnes?
niggai
shell
afine!
Her
:youst
il
lhav
evar
sit
y,t
hedi
stancei
sst
il
l
goingt
obethere.Youaregoi
ngt
olear
nhowt
o
dealwi
thy
ourinsecuri
ti
es.
.
Me:yeahIknowbutifIprobabl
ygot ovarsi
tyi
n
SAthenwecanbecl oser..
Imeanrelat
ionshi
ps
i
sallaboutcompromisingsoI'
m goingto
compromisethenmay beschoolatUJ
Her
:UJ?
Me:
univ
ersit
yofJohannesbur
g..I
tsagood
i
nst
it
uti
on..Iwi
l
ljusthavetogother
e..
Her:
wel
lIcan'
tst
opy
oubutwhatabouty
our
dad?
Me:hewil
lhav
etoaccepti
t.
.onewayort
he
ot
her..
*
***
***
***
***
***
Her
:and?
Leahaskedov
ert hephonel
atert
hatdaywhil
st
Iwaswaiti
ngforBandil
ewhohadt ext
edafew
minut
esagosay i
nghe'scomi
ng.
Me:
andhej
ustwentdownonme,
that
'
sal
l
Shescr
eamed.
.
Her
:i
twastimeyouf
eelsomet
hing.
.Nextt
ime
i
twon'tj
ustendt
her
e..
Il
aughed
Me:
I'
m notr
eadyf
orsex
Her
:youwi
l
lnev
erber
eady
..
tr
ustmeont
hat
one
Me:Idon'
tknowaboutthatbutri
ghtnow,
I
'm
real
lynotready
..
thewayI'
m scar
edofgett
ing
pregnant
!
Her
:therei
ssomethi
ngcal
l
edcondom,
or
morningaf
terpi
l
l.
.
Me:
Iknowbut
-
Ist
oppedonmyt r
ackswhent
her
ewasanot
her
i
ncomingcal
lcoming
Me:
l
ookwewi
l
ltal
k..
Her
:okby
e
It
henhungupandtaki
ngt
hei
ncomi
ngcal
l
whichwasBandi
l
e..
Hi
m:I
'
m out
side
Me:
I'
m comi
ng.
.
Li
zzyhadwentout
,soIjustwal
kedoutand
wentst
rai
ghtt
ohiscarandgotin.
Hi
m:hey
Hesai
di mmediatel
yaf
terhest
art
edt
hecar
andal
readydr
iving.
Me:
hi
Thentherewasthissil
ence,i
won'tsayi twas
comfort
ablesi
lencebecauset hi
swast hefi
rst
ti
meIhav ebeenwithhiminsuchsi lence.After
awhil
eheputdownt hevolumeoft her adi
oand
l
ookedatmef orawhi l
ethenbackt ot heroad.I
knewhehadsomet hi
ngtosaybutI '
m notsur e
i
fIwasgoi ngtoli
keit
.
Hi
m: ummhhbabe,my.
.ummhI
'
m nol
onger
l
eavi
ngaround1900hr
s
Me:
ooh,
whenar
eyoul
eav
ingt
hen?
Hi
m:i
n30mi
nut
es
Il
aughed,
obv
iousl
yhecan'
tbeser
ious.
Me:
ok,
ni
cej
okeBandi
l
e
Hi
m:no,
l
ikeser
iousl
y
Hedidsoundser
iousandthatMomentIfel
t
hur
t.Weren'
twesupposedtobespendi
ngthis
daytoget
her
?
Me:
oh
Andthatsal
lIcouldsay,
becausedeepdownI
hadbeenawaiti
ngt hemomentwher ehewould
act
uall
ysay"
goty ou"butt
henitnevercame.
Hi
m:ther
eissomeemer
gency
,soIr
eal
l
yneed
t
orushback
Me:
ok
Hi
m:ar
ewemad?
Me:
no,
I
'm cool
Hi
m:y
oudon'
tsoundsocool
Me:maybeitsbecauseIwashopi
ngwespend
t
hisdaytogether
..
Hi
m:t
here'
sgoi
ngt
obenex
tti
mebabe,
I
pr
omise
Me:
yeah.
.
Him:ok,
canwebeatl
eastpr
etendt
obeahappy
coupleatl
east
?
Il
aughed,
notbecauseitwasfunnybuthe
soundedl
ikeacrazyperson
Me:
whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
meear
li
er?
Hi
m:Ididn'
tknowt
hen.
.Iwi
l
lmakei
tupt
oyouI
pr
omise..
Ij
ustnoddedcl
ear
lyl
ostf
orwor
dst
oev
ensay
Hedrov
estrai
ghtt
otheai
rpor
t,t
hengot
of
f,
wenttot
heboottookhi
sbagthencamet
o
mydoorandopenedi
t.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgeti
nsi
de.
.
Reluct
ant l
yIgotofft
hecarandwalkedwith
hi
mi nsidetheair
port
.Wewentandsaton
someot herbencheswaiti
ngforhi
splane'
s
depart
ur etobeannounced.
Me:
Ican'
tbel
i
evet
hisi
shappeni
ng.
.
Him:
eit
hercanI
,
butIpr
omi
set
omakei
tupt
o
you.
.
Hesai
dtickingmet hatIendedupl
aughi
ng
ev
enifIdidn'twantto.
.
Hi
m:nowt
hat
'st
hel
aughIhav
ebeendr
eadi
ng
t
ohear
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ygoi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
.
Hi
m:met
oo
Hesai dpulli
ngmei nforakiss,Ididn'
tmind
kissi
nghi minf r
ontofpeopl
e, hewasmi ne
afterall
.West oppedaft
erawhi l
e.Therestof
themi nuteswesattheregoofingar oundlostin
ourownwor ldwhereonlyusexi st
ed.Whenhe' s
planewasannouncedmyhear tsank,Icouldn'
t
evenst opthetear sthatIhadbeent r
yingto
hideal lalong.Aftersomeki ssesandal otofI
l
ov ey ouwer esai dIwat chedhi m walk
away ,wi t
hmyhear t.Ifel
tli
keIwasav icti
mt o
hisl ov e.Istoodt hereuntilhefull
yvanishedand
ther ewasnot raceofhi mthenIwal kedback
out sidewi t
hmyhear tbleeding.Getti
ngout si
de
Imetadel i
veryguywhowasst andi
ngbyt he
airpor tslidi
ngdoor .
Hi
m:Goodaft
ernoonmam,
arey
ouKr
ist
in
Macv
erdana?
Me:
yes,
howcanIhel
p?
Hi
m:t
hisi
sfory
ou
Hesaidhandingmesomer edroses,
theysmelt
niceandt
heyev enhadanot e.It
ookoutthe
noteandread"Iknowy ouaremadsoIdi da
l
ittl
esomethi
ngf oryousotocheeryouup,hope
youlovei
t.Bandil
e."
Ismil
edwidel
yasIsmeltthef
lower
sagai
n.I
l
ookedbackatthedel
i
veryguywhowassti
ll
st
andi
ngt
her
e
Me:
any
thi
ngel
se?
Hi
m:act
ual
l
yyes,
comet
hisway
Ifol
l
owedhi m,andwhatIcameacr osswasv er
y
heartwarming..Therewerepeopleholdi
ng
somebigr edletter
sthatr
ead"ILOVEYOUSO
MUCH"Ij ustheldmymout hov er
whel med,
it
wassor omant i
cIwon'tli
eandIlov edit
..
Me:
ohmywor
d!
I
fany thing,thi
smademef alli
nl ov
ewi thhi
m
more, thepastday shasbeent hegr eat
estof
mylife.TobehonestIwoul dn'tmindsticki
ng
wi
thBandi le'
smeanr udeassf orli
febecauseI
j
ustlov eit.Therewasev enant axiwait
ingfor
me.Hehadev eryt
hingsmoot hlyorgani
sed.It
wasjustbeaut i
ful
tojustconcludeitall
.
Afewday spassed,
examsweresti
llon,Idi
dn'
t
seeJeremiahthatmuchatschool
atIwasgl ad
andevenVenus.Iwonderifhewasdi schar
ged
thenwhywon' thebecomi ngtoschool ?
but
thenmay bet hedoctorstoldhi mt ot akeiteasy .
Theweekwasgoi ngsmoot hl
yandIwas
actual lygladt hatexamswer ecomi ngt oanend
thenIwoul dsayby etoschool thenj ustgot o
Bot s,event houghIdol oveLeah, Barryand
Ben, LizzyanddadbutIdomi sshome, Imissmy
mom andsi sterandfri
ends.ItwasaFr i
day
afterschool andIhadLeahandBar ryinmy
room i nourpr om dresses.Leahwaswear i
nga
sheat hbeadedsheerpanel withhi ghsl i
tsweep
trai
nbl ackdr essandsomebl ackheel s,whi l
e
Bar rywor eanappl i
quéandbeadi nglacel il
ac
tull
el ongbl uedr essthenlastlymei nagr aceful
spandexandt ull
ejewelnecklinebeaded
mer mai ddresswi thaslitandbar eback
Wedi dl
ookBeaut i
fult
hatIhadevenasked
LeahtotakemeaPi ct
uresoIsendtoBandil
e.
Talki
ngaboutBandilewehavebeenok,orl
et'
s
saywear emuchcloserthanbefor
e,l
i
kenigga
cal
lseverydayandIwon'tcomplai
nbecauseit
makesmef
eel
speci
alsomehow.
Bar
ry:
Ireal
l
yfeel
beaut
if
ul.
.
Leah:sodoI,
Lizzywasri
ght
..
thisdesi
gnerr
eal
l
y
i
st hebest
..
lookatus.
.wesl
ayingourown
wor l
d..
Me:
yeah.
.Ican'
tagr
eemor
e..
Leah:
l
et'
stakeasel
fi
e
Wet ookaf ewpicturesbef oreweundr essed.
Prom wasgoi ngtobenextweekFr idaysowe
sti
llhadampl eofti
met opr epare.Myphone
start
edr i
ngingi
mmedi atelyaf terIt
ookof fthe
dress,wi
thasmi l
eonmyf aceIt ookmyphone
andwal kedinsi
det hebathr oom soItalkfreel
y
withBandile.
Hi
m:donttel
lmey ouar
egoi
ngt
oweart
hati
n
f
rontofpeopl
e..
Me:
act
ual
l
y,I
'
m goi
ngt
o
Hi
m:y
ourbacki
sjustt
her
eandt
hatv
ent
?
Me:
i
tsadesi
gnBandi
l
e,admi
tit
..
Ilookbeaut
if
ul
Hi
m:y
oudol
ookBeaut
if
ulbabebut
..
Me:
wef
eel
i
ngi
nsecur
e?
Hi
m:gi
vemer
easonsnott
o..
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou,
ai
n'
tthatar
easonenough?
Him:Il
ovey
out oo,butcomeont
hatdr
essi
s
exposi
ngever
ything!
Me:noi
tsnotpl
usi
tsnotwr
ongt
oshowof
f
someskin
Hi
m:t
here'
sev
ery
thi
ngwr
ongi
nshowi
ngof
fal
l
myasset
s!
Me:
youar
esoj
eal
oust
hati
t'
sev
encut
e..
Hi
m: don'
tmisi
nter
preti
tbabe,
I'
mjust
pr
otecti
ngwhat'
smine..
alr
eady
Me:
ok,
butI
'
m st
il
lwear
ingt
hedr
ess.
.
Hi
m:sowhoexact
lyi
syourdat
etot
hispr
om
t
hingofy
our
s?
Me:
i
tsLeah,
myf
ri
end.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.Ihopey
ouar
ebehav
ing
Me:
ofcause,
thoughImi
ssy
ou
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
oumor
e..
Me:
Iwast
hinki
ngmay
bewe.
.-
Iwascutoffbysomeone,
noletmebeexactby
afemal
ev oi
cespeaki
ngathi
sbackgr
ound
"
Andi
learewest
il
lon?"Ihel
dmybr eat
h,not
want
ingtoj
umpint
oconclusi
onsbutmymi nd
wasalr
eadyr
aci
ng,whowast hat
?
Hi
m:babe?
youst
il
lther
e?
Idi
dn'
treali
zeIhaszonedof
f,
myhear
tbeat
wasunstable.
Me:
w..
whowast
hat
?
Hi
m:Enhl
e,Idonthaveagi
rl
fr
iendorsomesi
de
di
shbabeIswear..
.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat
..
Him:
Iknowwhaty
oupr
obabl
ythi
nki
ng,
Ilov
e
youok.
.Enhl
e
Hecall
edout,mystar
tedtofal
linpl
aceandI
fel
tst
upidforlet
ti
ngmykindracebutI'
mjust
humantoo.Afterawhil
eIheardEnhl
e..
Her
:Kr
is?
Me:
hi
Her
:hey
,howar
eyou?
whenar
eyouv
isi
ti
ngus?
Me:
l
olsoon.
.
Her
:ok.
.by
e
Me:
bye
Hi
m:y
ousee
Me:
Iwasn'
tthi
nki
ngany
thi
ng.
.
Hi
m:ohr
eal
l
y?
Me:evenifIwas,
canyouBlameme?Iloveyou
toomucht hati
tevenhur
tsandt
hedistancei
s
nothelpi
ng..
Hi
m:l
ookIwi
l
lnev
ercheatony
ou.
.ok?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:y
ouneedt
otr
ustme
Me;
Ido.
.Ir
eal
l
ydo
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ad.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ousomuchBandi
l
e
Him:Il
oveyoutoo,morethananythi
ngel
seKr
is.
.
YouaresospecialtomeandIwoul ddo
anyt
hingfory
ou..i
sy ourdadback?
Me:no,
notyet
..
Iwast
hinki
ngi
mmedi
atel
yhe
comesthenIcomeback
Hi
m:t
hat
sagr
eati
dea.
.
Me:
i
tis,
plusIr
eal
l
ymi
ssmyf
ami
l
y..
Hi
m:I
'm suret
heymi
ssy
out
oo.
.y
ourcut
eface
i
smissable
Me:
i
sit
?
Hi
m:y
eah,
l
ookIhav
etogook.
.Iwi
l
lcal
lyou
l
ater
..
Me:
ok,
fi
ne
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
HethenhungupandIwal
kedbacktomyr
oom
onl
ytofi
ndLeahandBarr
yseat
ingonmybed.
Leah:ok,
youhav
erepl
acedVenusIcansee
that
,whoishe?
Me:
i
tsnoone
Bar
ry:
nicet
ry,
outwi
thi
tKr
is
Igi
ggledseati
ngbet
weenthem.Ibrowsed
thr
oughmyphoneandwentt ohispict
uresI
hadrecent
lydownl
oadedf
rom Facebook.I
showedthem
Me:
i
tshi
m
Leah:
fuck!
he'
ssof
reaki
nghot
!
Barr
y:hot
tert
hanmyownboy
fri
end,
wher
edi
d
yougethim?
Me:
i
tsal
ongst
orybutal
lIknowi
sIl
ovehi
m..
Leah:
ohw,
Icanseet
hat
Barr
y:wearehappyf
oryou.
.howol
dishe?
he
doesn'
tlookl
ikeast
udent.
.
Me:
he'
sabi
tol
d..
Bar
ry:
myboy
fri
endi
s20
Leah:
mine21
Me:
24
Iwhi
sper
ed
Me:
pleasedon'
tj
udge
Bar
ry:
what?whywoul
dwejudgeyou?I
ts
ok.
.whatmatt
ersi
syouguy
sloveeachother
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Leah:
any
wayl
et'
sgowat
chamov
ie.
.
Wewentdownst
air
s..
Barr
y:wearecel
ebr
ati
ng.
.Theendofhi
gh
schooll
if
e!
Me:
I'
m sogl
ad.
.
Leah:
metoo..
atl
eastnowIcanli
vemyl
if
ethe
wayIwanttowit
houtanyonest
oppi
ngme
Me:
yeah.
.
Wedr ankor angej uicewat chingsomemov ie,i
t
wasmor elikeacomedysowewer el
aughi ng
allal
ong.Iwasgl adt hatschool wasov er,
at
l
eastnowIdon' thav et ofaceany oneIdon' t
wantt oface.Wechi ll
edf orthewhol eday
togetherandi twasf unj ustspendingt heday
withthem.Thef ollowi ngdaywas
Saturday,Li
zzyhadwokemeupbi tearlysay i
ng
shewant sust ogoshoppi ng,t
obehonestev er
sinceIcamet ot hishouseLi zzyhasbeen
wonder f
ul t
ome, Ial way shadt heori
esof
monst erstepmot her sbutLi zzywasj ust
diff
erent.Thef actt hatshet reatedmel ikeher
ownchi l
dal way sl ef tasmi l
eonmyf ace.We
wentt othemal landmost l
yIboughtj eansand
sneakers.Af t
ershoppi ngshet ookmet ot he
sal
oonsot odomyhair,
Iplai
tedl
ongt
hint
wist
whil
eshejustcur
ledher
s.Bytheti
mewe
arr
ivedathomeIwasexhausted.
Li
zzy
:l
etmeor
dersomet
hing
Me:
yeahdot
hat
IsaidasIwentupst airstoputmycl othes.I
didn'ttaket hatmuchl ongi nmyr oom,just
packedt hecl otheswher et heyshoul dr i
ght f
ull
y
be.Af terawhi lewewer eal readyeat i
ng.The
whol eweekendwentwel lev ent heweek, Iwas
offi
ciallynotgoi ngtoschool ,Iwasj ustwai ti
ng
forFr i
dayt ocome.St ayingathomeal lalone
wasbor ingandIhadcommuni catedwithdad
andhet oldmeSat urdayhewi llbehome.I
reall
ycoul dn'twait,
nott hatImi ssedhimt hat
muchbutIwasj ustnowf eelinghomesi ck.I
hadl ookedi ntoacoupl eofuni ver
siti
esin
Johannesbur gandIhaddeci dedt ogowi th
UJ,itreallyseemedl ikeav erygoodv arsi
ty
accor dingt ot heinformat i
ont hatwaspr ov i
ded
ont hei nternetandhopef ul
l
yIwaspr ayingmy
dadwon' tgivemepr oblems.Iev endiscussed
thewhol et hingwi t
hLeahandBar r
ywhower ea
bitdi
sappoi ntedbutt henLeahwasgoi ngt o
Australi
a, shehadsai dthatshewasgoi ngtobe
stayi
ngwi thherauntt her
ewhileBar rywas
goingt oNewy or
ksoi tprett
ywast he
same, eveni fIchoset oschool herebutt henI
wasst il
l goingt obeal onebecauset hey
wouldn'tbet here.TheFr i
dayoft heprom f i
nall
y
came, LeahandIwer egoingwithmycar .Iwas
seati
ngi nf rontoft hemi r
rorwithLizzyfixi
ng
mymakeupandbr aids.
Her
:nowdone!
Me:
Il
ookr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Isai
dasIi
nspect
edmy
sel
font
hemi
rr
or.
Her
:youdosweethear
t,nowgoandshowt
he
wor
ldyourbeaut
y..
Iwalkeddownstai
rst
henwenttomycar,
drov
e
toLeah'
splace.Iwai
tedf
orheratt
hegat
eand
af
terawhi
leshecamewi
thhermom.Igotout
of
fthecar
.
Mr
sMackenzi
e:y
ougi
rl
slookdazzl
i
nghot
!
Me:
thanky
ou
Leah:
wer
eal
l
ylookbeaut
if
ul.
.
MrsMackenzie:
let
'st
akeyouguy
saf
ew
pi
ctur
estocreat
ememor i
es.
Shetookusaf
ewpi
ctur
esbef
orewel
eftt
o
school
.
Leah:
I'
m soexci
ted.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.
Leah:
Ihopenooner
uinsi
tforus,
thi
sshoul
dbe
anightt
oremember
..
Me:
yeah
Gett
ingtoschoolwepackedthecar
,onthedoor
l
eadingthemainhal
l t
herewasredcarpetwi
th
camera'sf
lashi
ngeverywher
e.I
twasreall
y
beauti
ful
..
Leah:
ti
met
oshi
ne
Me:
youknowi
t!
Wemadeourgr antentr
ance,itwasallfuzzybut
i
twasni cebeinginthespotlightforawhile,
we
fel
tlikecel
ebsforawhilethereaspeopl ewere
screamingatus.Getti
nginsidet hehal
lwewer e
givenchampaignthatIdidn'
tev endri
nk,t
helast
thi
ngIwant edtodoisgetdr unkt henactall
crazy.
Leah:
thi
sisr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ulandni
ce
Shesaidlookingaroundatt
hehal
lthatwas
great
lydecorated.WethensawBar
rywalk
towardsus..
Her
:ohmyGod!
Leah:
hey
Her
:youorl
et'
smakei
twel
ooksoBeaut
if
ul
t
oday..
Me:
yeah,
wher
e'sy
ourdat
e?
Her
:somewher
eint
her
e..
Shesai
dpoi
nti
ngatt
hepeopl
e..
Aswesti
l
lst
oodther
eBey
onceal
lni
ghtsong
st
art
edpl
ayi
ng.
.
Me:
Il
ovet
hissongsomuch
Bar
ry:
youar
enott
heonl
yone.
.
Igotabi tst
art
ledwhenIf el
thandsonmywaist
thatIjumpedabi t
..It
urnedanditwasVenusi
n
a2pi ecesuitl
ookingflames.
Hi
m:canIhav
ethi
sdance?
Il
ookedathi
mthenLeahwhoj
usthadabl
ank
expr
essi
on.
.
Barr
y:yeahwhynotKr
is.
.i
tsnotl
i
key
ouwi
l
lbe
cheat
ing..
Isi
ghedgiv
inghermydri
nkandlet
ti
ngVenus
scoopmeinhisarmsandwestart
edmovingi
n
rhyt
hm t
ogether
.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
thanky
ou,
sodoy
ou
Hi
m:consi
dert
hisasagoodby
edance
Me:
goodby
e?
Hi
m:I
'
m goi
ngt
oLondon
Me:
ohw,
sosoon?
Him:y
eah.
.It
houghty
ouwi
l
lbet
hef
ir
stIl
ett
o
know..
Me:
youhav
en'
ttol
dany
oney
et?
Him:yeah,
butobv
iousl
ymyf amil
yknowsbut
expectf
rom t
hem yesIhav
en'tt
oldanyoney
et
Me:
wel
lI'
m happyf
ory
ou
Hi
m:y
eah.
.soy
ou?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngback
Hi
m:t
hat
ssad
Isof
tl
ylaughed.
.
Me:
yout
hink?
Hi
m:y
es,
Imeany
ouwi
l
lhour
sawayf
rom me.
.i
t
i
ssad
Me:
youwi
l
lbef
ine.
.sowhenar
eyoul
eav
ing?
Hi
m:i
ntwoday
s
Me:
ohw.
.wel
lhav
easaf
ejour
neyIguess
Him:
canIaskf
oronemor
ethi
ngf
rom y
ou,
onl
y
onet
hing
Me:
ok.
.
Hesoft
lybroughtmyfacecl
osertohi
s,Iknew
whathewantedbutthenwhataboutBandil
e..I
coul
dn'
t,Ij
ustcoul
dn'
t..
Me:
Venuspl
easedon'
t
Imanagedtosaywhenourf aceswher
eafew
i
nchesapart
..I
nst
eadofkissingmehehugged
metight
lyasIsi
ghedoutofr el
ief
..
Hi
m:pl
easet
akecar
eofy
our
sel
f
Hesof
tl
ywhi
sper
edi
nmyear
..
Him:
andal
waysrememberIl
ovey
ouandIwi
l
l
best
il
lwai
ti
ngforyou.
.
Hesai dbeforepulli
ngout,
kissi
ngmyf orehead
thenleftmest andi
ngt her
eashewal kedout .I
walkedt othebathroom andjuststar
edatmy
refl
ecti
onont hemi rr
ortry
ingtojustgetholdof
cool.AfterawhileIwalkedoutandwentt olook
forLeahandBar r
ybutIonlyfoundBar r
ywho
waswi thBennow. .
Me:
Ben!
Hi
m:Godl
ookaty
ou
Me:
nol
ookaty
ou
Hi
m:l
et'
sdance
Hesai dpull
ingmet ohim,wedancedf orawhi l
e.
Ther estoft henightIwasj ustdanci
ngwi thmy
classmat esandget t
ingtoknowt hen
consi deri
ngt hefactthatIneverhadlengthy
conv ersati
onswi ththem whenwewer einclass.
IdroppedLeahof fatherhousearound
2300hr s,shewasst arti
ngtodr i
nkli
keaf i
shby
thenandact ingcrazy.Il
eftheratthedoorwi t
h
hermom asIdr ovehome, Mr sMackenziehad
evensuggest edIsl eepov erbutIjustwant edt o
sleeponmybed.Idr iv ehomeandar r i
ving
there,i
mmedi atelywhenmyheadt ouchedt he
pill
owIf el
l asleep.I thadbeenapr ettyl ong
nightandIwasbey ondexhaust ed.The
foll
owi ngdayIonl ywokeupwhenIhadnoi se
downst air
s, nomat terhowmuchIt riedt obl ock
thenoi sebuti twast oomuch, soIstruggl ed
withmyey esunt ilIfinal l
ymanagedt oopen
them butIcl osedt henassoonast heycamei n
cont actwi ththesunr ay .Iopenedt hem agai n
butav oidingt hesunt hist i
mear ound, Iheldmy
phoneandi twasal ready11andIhad3mi ssed
call
sf rom Bandi le.It hr ewt hephonedownasI
wentandt ookal ongbat hafterstr
ipingmy
clothesof f.Af terbat hingIwor emyt r acksui t
thenwentdownst airswi thmyphonet owher e
thehousewascomi ngf rom.Thenoi sewas
comi ngf rom out sidesoIwentout sideonl yto
fi
nddadandLi zzypl ay ingi nthepool ..l
aughi ng
andal l.Itwascut eify ouaskme. .Lizzyt hen
not
icedme.
.
Her
:Hey
,youwannaj
oinus?
Sheaskedwhiledadtur
nedt olookatme,he
i
mmedi at
elygotoutoft
hepool andcameand
huggedme.Byt heti
mehel etgoofmemy
tr
acksui
twasalreadywet.
.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou
Him:
notli
kemepr
incess,
howwast
heexams
andyourpr
om?
Me:
i
twasok.
.
Hi
m:youar
est
il
lgoi
ngt
otel
lmeal
labouti
t.
.but
f
ornowlet
'
sswim
Me:
noI
'
m..
-
Hehadal r
eadypi ckedmeupandwasheaded
tothepoolwithme, hedroppedi nsidewhilehe
alsojumpedin..I
twassomuchf un,morning
wasmadeandIcoul dn'
twishf orany t
hingelse
thatmoment,itwasper fect.Ievent ookusa
pict
urewithmyi Phone8.Af teraf ewhour swe
wereal
readyi
nsi
dethehousewat
chi
ngt
his
ot
hermov i
easafamil
y.
Dad:
sopr
incesshowwast
hepr
om?
Me:
i
twasni
ceIguess
Hi
m:wel
lI'
m gl
ady
ouhadf
un
Me:
I'
m gl
adI
'
m donewi
thhi
ghschool
Hesof
tl
ylaughed.
.
Hi
m:y
eahnowVar
sit
y,ar
eyour
eady
?
Me:
yes.
.I'
mreadyf
ornexty
ear
Hi
m:that
sgood,soLizzyt
ell
smeabouty
ou
want
ingtoschooli
nSA
Ihel
dmybreat
hasIl
ookedatLi
zzywhoj
ust
l
ookedatmesmil
i
ng.
.
Me:
y.
.y
eah
Him:i
fImayask. .whySA? ther
eareothergood
uni
versi
ti
esli
keHar var
d,l
ikeOxford,
Stanfor
d
uni
versi
ty,
universit
yofGeor gi
awhyUni v
ersi
ty
ofJohannesburgoutoft hem all
?
Me:Iwantedtobeclosertohome.
.st
ayi
ngmi
l
es
awayisreal
lyst
ressful
..
Hi
m:It
houghty
ouwant
edt
oschool
wit
hSam
Me:Sam i
sf i
nishi
nghi
sPHDthi
syear
..
Ijustf
eel
l
ikeschool
ingsomewherecl
osert
ohomewi l
l
domegood. .
Hi
m:ift
hat
'swhatyouwanti
tsok,
I
'm notgoing
t
ostopyou..Soy
ourmom cal
ledmey est
erday
Me:
ohh
Hi
m: yes,
she'
swonder
ingwhenareyoucomi
ng
si
ncey ouar
edonewit
hexams,soItol
dherI
wi
llaskyou..
whendoyouwanttogo?
Me:TobehonestImi
ssher
,ev
ent
omor
rowI
canevengo.
.
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:ok,
howaboutTuesday
?
Me:
i
tsst
il
lok
Hi
m:ok,
meandy
ourmom hav
emadean
arr
angement,dur
inghol
idaysAlexwillcome
thi
ssideandmay beyoutoo.
.hal
fofy ourvar
sit
y
hol
idaysyoucanspenditwithLizzyandI
Me:
that
snotabadi
dea.
.
Hi
m:Iseey
ouhav
eanewphone
Me:
Sam boughti
tforme.
.
Hi
m:ohok,
any
waywhatdoyouguy
swantt
odo
f
orthef
oll
owi
ngt
wodaysbefor
eyoucanl
eav
e?
Li
zzy
:whowant
stogof
orar
oll
ercoast
err
ide?
Me:
me!
Li
zzy
:whatdoy
ousayTay
lor
?
Dad:
I'
m game
Weweredist
urbedbymyphoneri
ngi
ngandi
t
wasSam soIexcusedmy
sel
f..
Me:
hey
y
Hi
m:hey
,howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m goody
ou?
Him:
notsogoodbutIwi
l
lbef
ine.
.canasky
ou
somethi
ng?
Me:
goahead
Hi
m:ar
eyoudat
ingr
ightnow?
Me:
ummh.
.y
..
yeah.
.y
es
Hi
m:whoi
syourboy
fri
end?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:whoi
syourboy
fri
end?
Me:
youdon'
tknowhi
m..
obv
iousl
y
Il
augheduneasi
l
y,hesoundedof
fandIwas
get
ti
ngscared
Hi
m:i
tdoesn'
tmat
ter
,gi
vemeaname.
.
Me:
Sam.
.-
Hi
m:Ar
eyoudat
ingBandi
l
eThul
ani
?
Iswearthatmomentmyhear
tst
art
edbeat
ing
fast
,shi
thadhi
tthef
an.
Me:
who?
Him:dontmakeaf
ooloutofmeKri
sti
n,
arey
ou
dati
ngtheguywhoki
dnappedyou?
ThatmomentIdidn'
tknowwhethertol
i
eortel
l
thetr
uth.Howt
hehelldidheev
enf i
ndout
?I
keptquit
e..
Hi
m:I
'
mfucki
ngt
alki
ngt
oyou!
Me:
n..
no.
.I
'
m not
Him:Kr
ist
indoIlookli
keafooltoyou?whythe
heckwouldyougof ort
heguywhoki dnapped
you?di
dhetell
youwhyheki dnappedyou?did
he?
Icoul
dn'
tspeak,
tear
swer
ejustst
reami
ng.
.
Hi
m:t
hatguyhat
esme,
he'
susi
ngy
ouasaway
t
ogettome
Me:
hel
ovesme
Isai
dcr
ying.
.
Hi
m:l
ove?doyouknowl
ove?
whoisl
oveand
wher
edoeslovecomef
rom?Hedoesn'
t,
why
areyousobli
nd?
heknowsthr
oughyouhewi
ll
geteasi
l
ytome..hehat
esmeKri
sandhewants
touseyoutohur
tme..
Ij
ustkeptcr
ying,
Idi
dn'
twantt
oli
stent
ohi
m..
Him:anddoy ouevenknowhowol dishe?he'
s
oldenought obeyouruncl
e!whycan'
tyougo
forpeopl
ey ourage?y
ouaregoingtobreakup
withhim now,doyouhearme?
Ist
arr
edcr
yingabi
tloud,
shaki
ngmyhead.
.
Hi
m:doy
ouhearme?
breakupwi
thhi
m now!
Me:
no.
.
Him:okfine,I'
m goi
ngt otellmom thaty
ouare
nowdat i
ngol dman, i
sthatwhaty ou
want?shouldIt el
lyourfatheryouarebusy
runni
ngaf teracriminal
,at hug!
kebolel
a
mama( I'
mt el
li
ngmom)
Me:
please.
.
Him:
breakupwit
hhim orI
'm goingtotel
lyour
dadandmom thatoj
olalelegodu(t
hatyouare
dat
ingat
hief
)whoi
sveryoldf
orthatmat
ter
..
Thesameguywhoki
dnappedyou.
.
Hehungupl eavingmecr ying,whywashe
doi
ngthis?whywashehur tingmel i
kethi
s?asI
wassil
entlycr
yingmyphoner angagai
nand
thi
sti
mei twasBandile..Ipickedupaft
era
whil
ewithtearssti
ll
streami ng..
Hi
m:hey
Me:
S..
Sam.
.he.
.he.
.
Andagai
nIcr
ied.
.
Him:
babepleasebreat
h,Iknowok.
.t
hisi
swhatI
expl
ainedt
oy ouf
rom thestar
t.
.
Me:
he.
.want
sme.
.t
obr
eakup.
.wi
thy
ou
Hi
m:Iknow,
Iwi
l
ldeal
wit
hhi
m,don'
tcr
y
Ij
ustcoul
dn'
thel
pitbutt
ocr
y,whydi
dSam
hat
eBandil
ethi
smuch..
Lat
erthatdaywedidgot
otherol
lercoast
er,
it
wasfunbutmymi ndwasj
ustnotthere.
.
I
mmediat
elywhenwegotbackIwentst
rai
ght
t
obed.Ij
ustwant
edtosl
eep..
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Him:
mysistergatnothi
ngtodowithour
beef
,whycan'
tyouleaveheroutofi
t?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:i
sthi
swhyy oucal
l
edme?
youar
ehur
ti
ng
yourownsi
sterbr
uh!
Him:hur
ti
ngmyownsi st
er?
please!I'
m
prot
ecti
ngherfr
om t
hecoldmonst eryouar
e..
Youdon'twantt
omesswi t
hTay l
or
Me:
Got
ell
him
Him:ohhdontwor
ryIwi
ll
,
andonemoret
hing
I
'm goingt
omakesureKri
snev
erl
ooksatyou
t
hesameanymore.
.What
evershi
tyouar
e
f
eedi
ngherwon'
tl
astl
ong
Me:
dowhaty
ouwant
,nobodyi
sst
oppi
ngy
ou.
.
Hehungupandt hrewmyphoneont hecouch
i
nfrustr
ati
on,Iknewt hi
swasboundt ohappen
butnotthi
ssoon. .
andwhotoldhi
m becauseit
s
defi
natl
ynotKris,
shewouldn'
tevendare,
the
wayshewascr y i
ngprovedi
twasnother..
Idi
dn'tmindSam orTay l
or,whatscaredme
washurti
ngKris,
andt hefactthatshe'
salready
cry
ingbutmuchbi ggerchall
engesawai tus
aheadscaredme.Ar ewegoi ngtosurvi
v ethi
s?
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
I'
mreal
lysor
ryf
ornotposti
ngbutIhavebeen
si
ck,
evennow.I
'minpainandIj
usthopeIwil
l
beoksoonenough.
.il
oveuguysa
l
ot
Keepcomment
ingandl
i
king
Lot
sofl
ovef
rom me
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t24
KRI
S
.
.
Me:
per
fect
!
Isai
dtoAlext
yingherhai
rupi
ntoaper
fect
neatbun.
Her
:il
ookbeaut
if
ul
Shesai
dobser
vingher
sel
font
hemi
rr
or.
Me:
youl
ookl
i
keanangel
.
.
Her
:youl
ookf
lawl
ess
Me:
comeon.
.
Her
:I
'm ser
iousl
ytel
l
ingy
ou,
Idon'
tbl
ameNdi
l
e
f
orf
all
i
ngf
ory
ou
Me:
aii
imma,
petnameal
ready
Isai
dlaughi
ng,
shej
oinedme
Her
:al
readybabe,
whywai
t?
Me:
igi
veup
Her:
anyway,
nooff
ensebutwashehej
ust
l
ike"
yohI'
m acr
iminal
"?
Me:yes,
wel
lkindof.
.butheneverl
i
edabouti
t,I
guesshehatesli
esandsectet
s.
Her:
hesbr av
e, Ican'
tev
entell
Tshepi
eanyt
hing
,ev
ent hesmal lembarr
assi
ngthi
ngsIdo.
.li
ke
I
'm scaredofloosing
Hi
m
Me:
Sometimeshonest
yisj
ustneeded.
.
r
egar
dlesswhat
Her
:yeah,
youar
eri
ght
..
Me:
nowl
et'
sgo
Wewer egoingtoGameCit
ymal l f
oral i
l bitof
shopping,pract
ical
l
ywewer ehav i
ngagi rl
sday
outki
ndoft hi
ng.Al
exwasonhol i
daysi nceshe
j
ustwr oteherform3JCE(
juniourcer t
if
icate
examination)Wewentouttocat chami nibusto
themal l
.Aswewai tedmyphoner angandi t
wasDy lan.
Me:GoodmorningSir
,thi
sisTuduet
soKget
so
fr
om mor t
uar
yservi
ceshowcanIbeatyour
serv
ices?
Hest
art
edl
aughi
ng.
.
Hi
m:ohw,hel
l
oMi ssKget
so,canIpl
easespeak
wi
thMissKrist
inThompson?
Me:
ofcause,
justasecond.Hey
Hi
m:t
hatj
obr
eal
l
ysui
tsy
ou,
Imustsay
Me:
l
olany
wayhowar
eyou?
Hi
m:I
'
m goody
ou?
Me:
I'
m ok
Hi
m:so..
..
me,Tshepi
e,BK,
andAnt
onyhav
ethi
s
br
ait
hinglat
er
Me:
ohh
Him:
yea,
andwewer
ewonder
ingi
fyouwoul
d
l
iket
oshowup?
Me:
idon'
tknow,
butIwi
l
lcommuni
cat
e
Hi
m:dot
hat
Andwiththathehangup,
assoonasIplacemy
phonebackinmypocketthemini
buspull
sover
andwegoti nt
oit
.
Al
ex:
youshoul
dhav
easkedf
oral
i
ft.
.
Shesai
doncewesatdown.
Me:
ali
ft
?Al
i
ftf
rom who?
Her
:f
rom whoev
ert
hatcal
l
edy
ou
Ii
nvol
unt
aryl
aughed.
.
Me:
youcr
azy
Her
:l
olI
'
m nott
het
hatbad.
.
Il
aughedathercrazi
ness,onl
yGodknowshow
muchIhavemissedthissoul
.
30mi nutesl aterwewer ebusystrolli
ngin
GameCi tydoi ngabitofshoppingf orAlex
mixedwi thabi tofwindowshoppi ng.After
shoppi ng, wewentgot hesalonsot hatAlex
candoherhai r
.Sheplait
edav eryt hi
ckblue
twi
st ,noof fensebutitsuredidlookheav y.
Oncewewer edonewi thherhairwej ustwent
tosomer estaurant
,Iwasjustdrinking
milkshakewhi l
eAlexwentheav yont hefood.
Her
:howwasl
i
vingwi
thy
ourst
epmot
her
?
Me:
i
twasok,
shesact
ual
l
ygr
eat
..Il
i
keher
Her:
good,
ihavehear
dal
otaboutmonst
er
st
epmothers.
Me:
wel
lshe'
sact
ual
l
ydi
ff
erent
Her:
notthatIli
kesnoopingar
oundbutKri
s,
haveyouev ert
houghtofwhatwouldhappeni
f
thewhol
ef amily
,ofcauseexceptme,
askyouto
br
eakupwi
tht
hisguy
..
Me:idon'
tevenwanttothi
nkaboutit
,idon'
t
knowwhat'sgoi
ngtohappenbutIhopei t
happenswhenI'
m alr
eadyatuni
versi
ty
Her:
yeah,
idon'
treal
l
ygetwhymom askedy ou
ort
oldyoutobreakupwit
hhim..j
ustbecause
he'
sold?Ordoessheknowhe'scr
iminal
?
Me:probabl
ybecauseofage,shedoesn'
tknow
aboutthecri
minalt
hing.
.Sam di
dn'
ttel
lher
Her
:j
ustbecausehe'
s6year
soldert
hany
ou
t
henit
'ssuddenl
yasint
odatehim?Why?
Me:
oldermenwant
ssex?Idon'
tknow.
.
Her:
whatdoy oumeanol
dermenwantssex?
Evena16y earol
dboywant
ssex.
.that
'
sreal
ly
notanexcuse
Ihuff
edasIlookather
,sheact
ssogrownup
forherage,
soconfi
dentandsoout
spoken.
Her
:what
?
Me:
betweenmeandy
ouIr
eal
l
ythi
nkbei
nga
l
awyeri
sforyou
Her
:nomam,
Iwantt
obeanAut
hor
Me:
that
sni
ce.
.
Her
:ok,
I'
m doneher
e,Iwantust
ogot
oai
rpor
t
j
uncti
on
Me:
what
?I'
mti
red.
.
Her
:pl
ease,
pret
typl
ease
Shebeggedtil
lshegotherway,thewayIwas
soti
redbythetimewel ef
tai
rportjunct
ion,
I
can'
tevenputtowords.Gett
inghomemom
wasalr
eadythereanditseemedl i
keshehad
j
ustarr
ived.
Al
ex:
mom
Mom:
gir
ls!
hadf
un?
Me:
i
m exhaust
ed.
.Iwi
l
lgot
akeaqui
ckshower
Isai
dalr
eadywalki
ngt
omyr oom,get
ti
ng
i
nsideIt
ookoffmyshoest
hensatdownsot
o
browset hr oughmyphone.Ther ewasn' tacall
,
onlyat extf r
om Bandi le,
qui ckl
yIwentt oit
.
"Butterfl
y,Ihav ebeenbusyt hewhol edayand
evennow. .Iwil
l call
y oulater.Ilovey ou"Ithen
tooki tuponmy selftocall him butitwent
strai
ghtt ov oi
cemai l.Withmydi ssapoi nted
heartIwentandt ookashowerbutwhenIcame
backi nmyr oom af t
erbat hingsurpr i
singlyI
foundmom sor tedonmybed.Nott obe
offensivebutmymoodj ustdr opped.
Her
:baby
Me:
mom
Her
:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
i
m good
Her
:ummhsodi
dyou.
.?
Me:
breakupwit
htheol
dermanIwasdat
ing?I
f
t
hat
'sitt
henyes
Shesmi
led.
..t
henst
oodupandst
oodr
ight
besi
deme.
Her
:youdoknowt hati
t'
snotl
i
keI'
mt r
yingto
hur
tyouoranyt
hingbabybutI'
mjustt
ryingt
o
bethebestmom Icanbe
Me:
iknow
Her
:Al
ext
ell
smeaboutapar
ty?
I
twasmor
eli
keaquest
iont
hanast
atement
..
Me:i
tsasmal
lgat
her
ingwher
ebyit
'sonl
yAlex,
Dyl
an,BK,
Ant
ony,
Tshepi
eandobv
iousl
y,
nota
par
ty
Her:
whatev
eri
tis,
Iwanty
ouguy
sbackby
2030hr
s
Me:
ohok
Her:
soItalkedt
omybossabouty ouguysas
wellhe'
smor et
hanhappytososoFri
dayyou
comeov eratmyworkplacesoyouguyssi
gn
thecontr
acts
Me:
ummhgr
eat
..
Justt
henmyphonewhi
chwasont
hebed
start
edringi
ng.Iwal
kedov
ertoi
t,It
rysohard
tosuppressmysmi l
easIl
ookedatthecal
l
er
ID,i
twasBandile.
Mom:
ok,
iwi
l
lbei
nthesi
tt
ingr
oom.
Shewalkedoutclosingt
hedoorbehi
ndher
,
thenIwalkedovertomywindowwhichwas
openthenfinal
l
yansweredthecal
l.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:babe
Me:
hi,
itr
iedcal
l
ing
Hi
m:i
know,
Ihav
ebeenabi
tbusyt
oday
..
Me:
i
tsokIguess.
.
Hi
m:howi
syourdaycomi
ng?
Me:
ok,
justabi
tti
red.
.Iwentshoppi
ngwi
thmy
smal
lsi
ster
Hi
m:i
m sor
ry.
.
Me:
yeah,
ican'
twai
tfort
omor
row.
.
Hi
m:ummhaboutt
hatbabe.
.
Itri
edsohar dtojustpushawaymyalready
breakingheartt
oapoi ntofcal
m buti
tjust
couldn't
,Iknewwhathewasaboutt osay .
Him:
idon'
tthi
nkt
omor
rowi
squi
teagoodday
,I
deci
dedfr
iday
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:i
knowy
ouar
emad.
.-
Icuthi
m shotf
umi
ng.
Me:
whycan'
tyoudamnst
ickt
oyourdeci
sions?
Isnappedj ustt oregretitthesecondaf t
er
maki ngmehungupal mostI mmediately.It
hen
threwmy selfonmybedt ryi
ngtoholddownmy
tearsbutIj ustcan'tseem t obeabletohol ditin.
May beIshoul dn'thavesnapped. .
moment slater
I'
m alreadydr essedupi nahi ghwaistJean, a
denim T-shirtwithconv erse.Ihol
dmyhai rint
o
aper fectporntale.Myphonest ar
tedringing
andi twasBandi l
e,idi
dn'tanswermay bet oo
scar
edaf t
ert
hestuntIpul
l
edsoi nsteadIj
ust
shovedthephonei
nmypockett henwenttothe
si
tti
ngroom.Mom waswat chi
ngt v
Me:
ok,
wear
ereadyt
ogo
Her
:youguy
swantmet
odr
opy
ou?
Me:
no,
wecool
butt
hanks
Her
:ok,
Kri
s2030hr
syoushoul
dbeher
e..
Inodded.Af
ewminut
esl
aterAl
excame
weari
ngadenimj
umpsui
tandaconver
se.
Me:
ready
?
Her
:yeah,
seey
oul
atermom
Mom:
Kri
spl
easet
akecar
eofy
oursi
ster
Shesai
dbutmor
eli
kebegged.
Me:
ok
Her
:cal
lmei
fyouneedany
thi
ng
Al
ex:
ok
Al
exshout
saswewer
eal
readyatt
hedoor
.We
wal
kedoutbutassoonaswegotoutTshepi
e
wasther
ewit
htheGolf7.
Me:
youcal
l
edhi
m?
Al
ex:
hadt
o
Shesaidrushingtohim,hebr i
efl
yki ssedher,
trustmeitwaswei rdwatchingmysi st
erkiss
mybestf r
iend.Ineverr
eallyputitinmymi nd
muchbutnowseei ngit
,weirdcouldnotev en
explai
nthesituat
ion.Sl
owlyIwal kedt othem as
theywerenowl ookingatme.
Tshepi
e:hey
Me:
hi
Akex:
l
etsgo
Me:
yeah
Wegoti nsi
dethecar,andTogetherdroveto
Dylan'
shouse.Gett
ingthereIcoul
dn'tsee
whereexactl
ywast hebraaist
andoratl east
that'
swhatIexpect
edt osee.Assoonashe
parkedIgotofft
hecart henwenttothedoor.I
knockedcoupl
eofti
mesbef
oreBKf
inal
l
y
openedthedoor.
Hi
m:andl
ookwho'
sher
e!
Me:
l
olai
n'
tyougonnal
etmei
n
Heopenedt
hedoorwi
decr
eat
ingspacef
orme.
Hi
m:r
ightaf
tery
oumyl
ady
.
Iwal
kedi
ntothesi
tt
ingr
oom.Ant
onyand
Dyl
anwer
ealr
eadyin
Me:
hel
l
o
Dy
lan:
hey
Ant
ony
:Kr
is
Me:
whyai
n'
tyouguy
sbr
aai
ngorsomet
hingl
i
ke
t
hat
?
Dyl
an:wef
orgott
ot el
lyou..
.thebr
aai
isact
ual
l
y
notgoi
ngtobeheldhere..
Me:
oh,
wher
eisi
tgoi
ngt
obehel
d?
Ant
ony
:Tont
oro'
shouse.
.
Ilookatt hem t henlaugh.Tont oroist hisot her
guywhoi srichasf uck,helosthi spar ents2
yearsbacksohi m andhi sbr otherwhoi si n..
wel lIdon'tknowbutov er
seasi nher ited
every thingtheirparent sev erowned.Heal ways
throwspar ty'sfrom timet ot i
meagai nathi s
parent 'shousei nblock10, athispar tiest hat'
s
wer ey ouf oundhal fneckedgi rlsfrom v arsiti
es,
that'swer ey ouf oundal ldrugdeal er s,that's
wher ey oucaneasi lyseepeopl edr inkingt heir
l
ivesawayonl yfortomor rowwaki ngupwi th
someonet heydon' tev enknow. .Tont oroi s
actual lyaNi ckname, hisnamei sRicky .I
l
ookedatt hem andt heywer elookingpr etty
seriouswhi chqui cklyregisteredt omybr ains
thatt heyar ebei ngser i
ous.
Me:
no
Dy
lan:
kri
s
Me:noDylan.
.no,
icameher ewi
thAl
exandI
'
m
notabouttoputheratsuch.
.-
Idi
dn'
tgett
ofi
nishmysent
ence,
Tshepi
ecut
measheenter
edwithAl
ex.
Tshepi
e:i
wil
lkeepaney
eonher
Me:no,
ify
ouguysarenothav
ingnobr
aai
,me
andAlex.
.wear
eleavi
ng
Tshepi
e:comeonKr
is
Me:mom wi
l
lki
l
lme,
shewant
sushomeby
2030hr
s
Dyl
an:
wewoul
dhav
edr
oppedy
ouguy
shome
byt
hen
Me:
Dyl
ani
-
Al
ex:
comeonKr
is
Me:
Alex.
.
Her
:j
ustafewmi
nutesandwego,45mi
nut
es.
.I
j
ustwantt
oseet
hisTontor
oguy
Af
teral
otofhesi
tat
ionIgi
vei
n
Me:
30mi
nut
esonl
y
Her
:okl
et'
sgo.
.
Minut
eslat
erIwaswi t
hDy l
an,
BKandAnt
onyin
themazda6Dylanisusi
ngandwewereal
ready
headi
ngtoToronto'
shouse.
Me:
whoscari
sthi
s?
Dy
lan:
mine,
dadgav
eitt
ome
Me:
il
ikei
t
Dy
lan:
yeah.
.met
oo
BK:
soKr
is,
thehi
ckeyy
ouhadt
heot
herday
..
BKsaidcl
eari
nghist
hroatwhi
leDyl
anand
Ant
onylookedatmewithcuri
ousf
aces.
.I
l
aughed.
.
Me:
l
eav
emeal
one
Dy
lan:
aii
iwewantt
oknow
Ant
ony
:whathappened?
Me:
idon'
tki
ssandt
ell
Dy
lan:
sosomet
hingdi
dhappen.
.
Ilaughed..andj ustplai
nlyignoredthem.
Mi nuteslaterwewer eparkedaf ewhouses
bef or
eTont oro'
shouse.Wegotof f
,as
Tshepi escarpul l
edupbehi ndour sandtheygot
off.Hi m andAlex ,Iavoi
dedcomi ngherewit
h
them t oavoidtheawkwar dness.
Me:
afewmi
nut
esonl
y
Isai
daswewer
eatt
hegat
e.
Dy
lan:
fewmi
nut
esonl
y.
.
Weal lgeti natonce, Iwaswel comedbyt he
l
oudmusi ct hatthreatenedt oburstmyear s.
Judgingf rom myownper specti
vet her
ewer e
mor evarsitystudentst hanhi ghschool
students.Ev ery
onewashav i
ngthei rbl
ast,we
wentandsatatt hecor neroft hehousewi tha
coolerboxIonl ysawwhenTshepi etookitout
ofthecar .Wesatdownt hereast heytookout
savannaf rom thecool erbox ,Ipeepedi nside
thecoolerboxandIsawsomesof tdri
nks.
BK:
yousee,
wegoty
oucov
ered.
.
Il
aughedabi
tasIt
ookt
hef
ant
acan.
Dyl
an:
I'
m chowi
ngthebor
edom awaynow,
wannadanceAl
ex?
Al
ex:
that
'si
fyoushowmeTont
oro
Dy
lan:
aty
ourser
vices
Theyst
oodupandwal
kedaway
..
BK:ahhnowI
'
m goi
ngt
ofi
ndmyPr
eyf
or
toni
ght
Hesaidst
andi
ngupf
oll
owedbyAnt
ony
..and
nowitwasonl
ymeandTshepi
e.
Hi
m:i
sitmeorwear
edr
if
ti
ngapar
t?
Me:
what
?no.
.wear
enot
..r
ight
?
Hi
m:y
ouseem di
stant
Me:youarefucki
ngmysist
er,andy
ouar
emy
bestfr
iend.
.It
'sabi
tawkward..
Fi
nal
l
yIadmi
tt
ed.
.
Hi
m:t
hisi
snothowIi
magi
nedy
oucomi
ng
back,
ithoughtsi
ncei
tsbeenl
ongsi
ncey
ou
weregone..
Hesi
ghed.
.
Me:l
ookwecandot hethi
ngsweusedtodo,we
areBFFsremember ,f
rom for
m1.
..
icameback
yest
erday
..I
'm st
il
ladjust
ing
Him:youused,wel
lweusedtotel
leachother
ever
ythi
ng..
.andIcanseeiti
nyoureyes.
.is
ther
esomeoneoutt her
e?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
youkeptAl
exasecr
et
Hi
m:i
wasscar
ed
Me:
under
standabl
e..
butf
uckupmysi
stert
henI
wi
ll
showy oumyblackcolour
s..
Hel
aughed.
.
Me:
i
m happyy
ouar
ehappy
Hi
m:sonowt
ell
me,
thehi
ckey
..
Me:
noty
out
oo
Hi
m:I'
m notj
ustany
body
,I'
myourf
ri
end.
.now
t
alk
Me:
ihav
esomeone,
someonev
eryspeci
al
Hi
m:i
wantt
omeethi
m
Me:
he'
snoty
ourev
ery
dayofguy
Him:butyoulovehi
m..Iwannameethi
m
becausey oul
ovehi
m,iwannameetthe
motherfucker
Me:
hesnot
..wel
lhe.
.God.
.
Hi
m:what
?isheJust
inBi
eber
?
Me:
stopbei
ngcr
azy
Hi
m:t
hent
alk,
he'
swhat
?
Me:
ki
ndof
,he'
snoty
our
..
.agemat
e?
Hi
m:ok
Me:
hes24.
.
Hi
m:y
oursar
casm sucksKr
is,
wor
koni
t
Me:
ser
iousl
y.
.hes24
Hi
m:Jesus!
Me:
dontdot
hat
..
Hi
m:i
mjust
..shocked.
.nev
erknewy
oul
i
ked
t
henol
der
Me:
yout
hinki
t'
swr
ong?
Hi
m:no.
.wel
l
..I
..j
eez!
Me:
yout
hinkhe'
stoool
dforMe?
Hi
m:hei
sol
d
Me:
ok,
toool
dforme?
Hi
m:may
be.
.
Hewhi
sper
ed
Him:
butift
hat'swhatmakes.
..wel
li
fhemakes
youhappy.
.thenIdon'
tknow.
.goforit
Me:
idi
dn'
texpectt
hisf
rom y
ou
Hi
m:i
tsnotaboutt
hatKr
is,
I'
mjustshocked?
Me:
thatI
'
m dat
inganol
derman?
Hi
m:dontbemad
Me:
i
m not
,I'
mjustt
ryi
ngunder
stand
Hi
m:ouropi
nionsar
edi
ff
erentobv
iousl
y
Me:
ifi
gur
ed
Him:
hes6y ear
sol
derthany
ou,whoknowshi
s
moti
ves.
.he'smor
eli
keasugeruncl
ethan
boyf
ri
end
Ichuckl
ed,
takenbyhi
sst
atement
.Ist
oodup.
.
Hi
m:kr
is
Me: nono. .y ouhaveapr obl
em wi t
hit,
withmy
relati
onshi pi t
'sOK,li
keyousaidev er
yonehas
theiropinions. .j
ustbecausehe's24he's
suddenly .
..wel lIdon'
tknowbadf or
me? what ev er.
.Ilovehim,andifitmakesyou
sickthent rustme, y
ouar egoi
ngt obesickfora
verylongt ime. .
Isaidwalkingawayf r
om him,withmymi ndal
l
overtheplace.Iexpectedhimtosuppor tme,
l
ikeIalwaysdof orhim..Istumbledthrought
he
crowdunt i
lIgotinsi
det hehouse.Ibr
owsed
throught henwentt osi tatthefarcor nerofthe
house. .t
her ewasn' talotofpeopl ei nthehouse
l
ikeout si
de, ijustwantedt odiethatmoment ,I
thent ookmyphoneanddi aledBandi l
es
numbert hatInowknewbyhear tbutitleadme
strai
ghtt ov oicemailthatt hetearsIhadbeen
holdinginv oluntaryst
reamed.AsIwasst i
ll
tryi
ngt ofightawaymyt earsInoticedahal f
nakedgi rlpassbymehol dingglassesof
champagne, seemedl iket heywer eforfree.I
stoodupandwal kedupt oher.
Me:
aret
heyf
orf
ree?
Iscreamedsoshecanhearmebecauseoft
he
noise,
shenodded.
.
Itookagl assanddr ownedi t
,thentheot her.
.I
l
iterall
ytookinalltheChampai gnshehadbeen
holding.Ifel
tsomehowdi ff
erentafterthatbut
thehur twasstil
lthere.Tshepieswordskept
screami nginmyhead. ."
sugeruncle"iwalkedto
themi nibarandhelpedmy selfwit
habot tl
eof
alcohol t
henst ar t
eddr inkingf r
om it.Myhear t
feltheavyev eryt i
meIbr eathed,andt hen
foll
owedbyt ear s..whycan' tpeopl eseeme
happy ?Ther ear emanypeopl eoutt herewho
actuallydatewaymuchol derguy sbutbecause
i
t'sKristhensuddenl yit
'swr ong..Istaggered
mywayt ot hebackoft hemi nibarandj ustsat
downdr i
nkingmyal cohol, t
hiswast hef ir
st
ti
meev erdrinkingl i
ket his.Moment slaterIhad
fi
nishedt hewhol ebot tl
e, It
riedstandingupbut
myheadwasj ustspi nning..whenIf inall
ystood
upIdi dn'
ttaket hatlongt ol osebalancebut
surprisi
nglyIdi dn'tfall
.Somebodycaughtme, I
l
ookedupandi twassomedudeIdi dn'tknow.
Hi
m:ar
eyouOK?
Icouldn'tseehim cl
ear
ly,
well
Icouldn'
tsee
anythingclear
lyeit
herway,ever
ythi
ngwasjust
doubleinmyey es.
Hi
m:l
uckyIf
oundy
ou
Hehel
pedmest
andpr
oper
lybutmykneesf
elt
wobblythatIj
usthadt
ohol
dint
ohi
mfor
support
.
.
.
ALEX
.
.
Istoodinf rontoft hisguy,whol ooked
handsome, wel lhandsomei san
understatement .
.helookedhot ..helookedso
Godly,hewashot terthanany t
hingIhav eev er
cameacr oss, hishandsomenesswasj uston
anotherlevel.Hi smuscl esinther i
ghtpl aces,
his6packwer ev i
sibl
eenought oseet hrough
hisT-shir
t,t
all andt hi
shaircutthatjustmade
himlookmor egoodnott oment ionthet attoos
buthisey es,theywer enotsocal m butspel led
outdanger ,don' tmesswi thme, don'tf uckwi t
h
meandIswearIpeedonmy sel
fabi t.Hewas
veryint
imidat
ingt hatbyoneglareofhi m,
putti
ngasidehishandsomenessIwoul djust
runformyl i
feasf astasIcanandconsi deri
ng
howKr isissofr
agi l
e,soquietIdon'tevenknow
howt heyaredating.SohereIwasst anding
ri
ghtinfrontofthemi ght
yBandi l
e,
whosnot
evensmi l
ing.
.IwillhavetoaskKr i
saboutt hat.
.
Hi
m:Kr
ist
in'
ssi
ster
?
Me:
Kri
sti
n'
sboy
fri
end?
Hechuckl
ed,
andIcoul
dn'tev
enfigureouti
f
t
hatwasaf r
iendl
yormeanchuckle.
Hi
m:wher
e'sshe?
Me:aft
ershehadanar gumentwith.
..
wit
hher
f
ri
endshej ustdi
sappeared.
.Ihav
ebeen
l
ookingforher.
.
Befor
ehecoul
drespondhisphoner
angandhe
answeredmov
ingbackfr
om meabit.Moment
s
l
aterhecameback.
.
Hi
m:l
etsgoi
nsi
de
Ifoll
owedhi
mi nsi
de,andwemetunconsci
ous
Kriswit
hsomeguyatt hedoor
.Theyseemedt
o
knoweachotherthough
Bandi
l
e:Qui
nsy
Qui
nsy
:she'
sdr
unk
Thi
sQuincyguygav
eKrist
int
oBandi
l
ewhoj
ust
car
ri
edherupli
kealeaf
..
Bandi
l
e:t
hanks..
letmesor
tthi
sout
,ummhAl
ex
l
etmedropy ouhome
Me:
whataboutKr
is?
Bandi
l
e:howareyougoi
ngtoexplai
nt oyour
mom whathappenedt
oyourdrunksister
?
Me:
but
..
..
Bandil
e:Iwon'
tdoanyt
hingtoy
oursist
erandI
do,
feelfr
eetorepor
tmet ot
hepol
ice
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ldr
opyouathomeandyouaregoi
ng
t
ohavet
osneaki
n..
theny
ouwil
lcov
erfory
our
si
ster
..IdontknowhowbutwhatIknowisy
our
mom wi l
lki
llheri
fsheseesherl
i
kethi
s
Me:
ki
ll
her
?shewi
l
lbur
ryheral
i
ve!
Hi
m:y
eahsol
et'
sgo
Wewenttohiscar,
thi
sguyseemedpr et
tyrich
butt
henhe'
sacr i
minalsoobviousl
yhesloaded.
AsIwasabouttogetinthecarTshepi
ecame. .
Hi
m:and?
Me:
what
every
oudi
dtoKr
isgotherdr
unk
Hi
m:f
uck!
butwher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
home
Hi
m:wi
thwho?
Me:
wit
h..
youknowwhat
?aft
erwhatyoudi
dto
mysi
sterI
'
m goingt
ogobecauseI
'
mt oomad
Hi
m:y
oumustbecr
azy
..
Me:ohandI'
m notgoi
ngtoexpl
ainany
thi
ngt
o
you,
youdontdeser
veit
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:oh?
Me:
yesoh.
.
Hi
m:whoi
sthi
sguy
?
Me:
mycousi
n
Isaidget t
ingi nthecar,
andassoonasIgoti n
Bandi l
edr oveof f,
nowor dwasexchangedi nthe
carandheseemedt oknowwher ehewas
going...Ij
ustkeptqui te.Af terawhi l
eIhadKr i
s
groani ngatt hebackseatwher eshewasl y
ing.
QuicklyIt ur nedbutshedi dn'tseem awake, I
hatedt hef actthathewasgoi ngwit
hher ,
but
thenwhataboutmom. .
Idi dn'tevenknowwhat
wasbestf orherbutassoonasIgotoutofhi s
carIcapt uredhi scarnumberpl ate,
hedroveoff
afterIgotoutofhi scar.Hel ookedar r
ogantto
me, nosmi lenonot hi
ng?Qui cklyandquietl
yI
goti nsidet hehousewi thspearkey sIstaywith
thengoti nsidet hehouse.Onmywayt oKris'
s
room Ihear dmymom t alk.
Her
:Kr
is,
Alexi
sthaty
ou?
Me:
yesmom
Her
:youguy
sar
ebackear
ly
Il
ookedatmyphone,
i
twasj
ustaf
ewmi
nut
es
unt
il2000hr
s.
Me:
yeah.
.goodni
ght
Quickl
yIgotinKris'
sr oom andl ockedt hedoor
thenIcouldfi
nall
ybr eath..
Ithrewmy selfonthe
bedinreli
efbutthenmyphonest artedringi
ng,
i
twasTshepi e.Idontknowwhathappened
betweenhim andKr i
sbutwhatIknowi sIsaw
them ar
guingfrom adi st
antbybyt hetimeIgot
tothem shehadal r
eadydi sappearedi nthe
crowd.
Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:y
ouguy
sar
ri
vedsaf
ely
?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:canIpl
easenothav
ebot
hmygi
rl
fr
iend
andbeatf
ri
enadatme?
Me:
whatdi
dyoudot
oher
?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lexpl
ain,
thoughi
ssheok?
Iwi
shIknew,
myi
nnersel
fscr
eamed
Me:
yes.
.shesasl
eep
Hi
m:ok,
Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.by
e
Isaidhangi
ngup.Idi dn'
tbot
hert
akinga
showerIjusttookoffmyshoesthencrawled
undertheduvet s,
wonder
ingi
fKri
sisok..
I
start
edregret
tinglet
ti
nghergo,
Ishouldhave
saidno..
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Wakingup,myheadwasspi nni
nghar d,
notto
ment i
onthethrobbi
ngpain.Myey eswer e
painf
ulandthebr i
ghtl
ightt
hathadt akenov er
theroom di
dn'tdomuchhel p.Ilookedaround
andhewassi ttedonthedressingtablestool
l
ookingatme
Wai t
..What '
sgoi ngonher e? whatisBandi l
e
doingher e?Icoul dseet hisr oom wasn' t
mine..event houghIwast ot all
ylostbutIknew
thatsomet hingbadhappybutnomat t
erhow
muchIt r
iedr emember ingi twoul dn'tjustcome
backi nmymi nd.IlookedatBandi leagai nand
he'sfacewasj ust.
..
well Icoul dnotr eadi fhe
wasmadornot .
.Ifel
tanur get ot hrowup, andI
couldn'tstopi t,
hepoi ntedatsomedoort hatI
i
mmedi atelyr ushedtoandopeni ngt hedoor
therewasat oil
et,Iwentov erandr eleasedinto
i
t,mydr ythroatf elthot.Ist oodupt henl ooked
backandhewasal r
eadyatt hedoor ..
Hi
m:consequencesofdr
inki
ngal
cohol
.
.
Me:
whathappened?
Hewal
kedt
ome.
.
Hi
m:y
oudr
inki
ngal
cohol
iswhathappened.
.
Andjustthenmyar
gumentwit
hTshepie
repl
aysinmyhead,
andonceagai
nIfeelhur
t.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Ifeelanur getov omi tagai nandt hi
st imev omit
makesi t
swayoutbef oreIcoul dturnandspl i
t
alloverBandile'
sT- shirt,
Idi dn'tgett het i
met o
playapol ogeti
cgirlbecausemor ev omitingwas
comi ngsoIt urnedandkneel edt ot hetoi l
etand
vomi tedagainandagai nt henagai nunt i
l Icould
feelmyt ummywasnowempt y.Istoodup
withoutlookingatBandi l
et henwentt ot he
Basinandr i
nsedmymout h.Byt het i
meIt urned
tohim hewasn' ti
nhi sT- shirtany mor e,his
upperbodywasj ustthereal l naked.Hewas
sexyandy ummybutqui cklyIsatmyey esof f
him,Istoppedmy selffrom dr ool i
ng..
Ihear
dhi
m chuckl
e..
Hi
m:howaboutashower
?
Me:
ohy
eah.
.ummhAl
ex?
Hi
m:Idr
oppedherathome.
.
Me:
ok
Il
ookeddownonmy
sel
fandIwasi
naT-
shi
rt
andpant
yonl
y,
mybr
awasoff.
Me:
ummhy
ouundr
essedme?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Ihav
eseeni
tal
lbef
oreany
way
Igi
ggl
edatt
hat
,ofcausehehas.
Me:
didIputupashowy ester
day
?Idont
r
emembermuchoft henight
Him:youweresleepingt
hewholet
ime,
I
'm not
goi
ngt oaskwhathappenedbutpromi
seyou
wil
lnevertouchalcohol
agai
n..
Me:
Ipr
omise,
Ifeel
li
kemyheadi
sspl
i
tti
ngi
nto
t
wopart
s
Hewal
kedoutoft
hebathr
oom t
hencameback
moment
slat
erwit
haglass.
Hi
m:t
akeanddr
ink.
.y
ouwi
l
lbef
inei
n5mi
nut
es
It
oolthecupbutwhenIputi
tovert
omymout
h
If
eltl
i
kev omi
ti
ngagain.
.i
tsmel
tbad.
Hi
m:dr
inki
t
Hecommanded
Wit
houtaglancet ohim Idrankital
ldown
hol
dingmybr eath.
.t
henhandedhi mt hecup
bl
ack..Hewalkedoutwi thit
,Il
ookedatmy sel
f
i
nthemi r
ror,
Ilookedli
keazombi ethen
i
mmedi at
elyItookmyey esoffthemirr
or.
.
Inoti
cedthetoothbrushandt oothpast
eonthe
basi
n.Iheldt
het oothbrushbyhandandi t
seemeddampl i
kehehadusedi tbut
nonethel
essIjustusedi ttobr
ushmyt eet
h,I
can'
tbebothlookingl i
keaZombi eand
smell
ingli
keonet oo..Afterbr
ushingmyteeth
hecameback.
Hi
m:l
et'
stakeabat
h
Me:
me.
.andy
ou?
s..
same.
.shower
?
Hel
aughedwal
ki
ngupt
ome.
.
Him:y
esasinyouandmet
oget
heri
nthesame
showerKr
is.
Icl
earedmyt hr
oat,
butt
hatseemedtohav
e
ti
ckl
edhim becausehel
aughedabitl
oud.
Hi
m:whatshoul
dIdowi
thy
ou?
sti
l
lscar
ed?
Il
ookeddownasmyf
acef
lushedwi
th
embarr
assment
..
Hi
m:wewon'
tdoany
thi
ngok.
.
Me:
you.
..
youdontwantt
ohav
esex?
Him:bei
nghonestIdo,Ireall
ydo,youdontknow
howbadi wantyourightnow, y
oudontknow
thethi
ngsIwanttodot oy ouri
ghtnowbutwe
donthavetodoanythingifyounotr eadybutby
theti
mewest artf
ucking,I'
m goingtomakey ou
regr
eteverdoi
ngthistome. .
Igaspedsil
entl
yashesaidthat
,Iwasgladhe
di
dn'twanttohavesexyetbutwon'theget
whathewant ssomewhere?
Me:
arey
ou.
.wi
l
lyoucheatonme?
Hishandswentovertomywaistandhel
dme
fi
rmlyandpull
i
ngclosert
ohi
m until
Icoul
d
easi
lysmell
him..
Hi
m:Ipromi
seIwon'tcheatonyou.
.Iwi
l
l
pr
act
iceabst
inenceunt
ilyouar
eready
Il
aughabi
t.
.
Me:
am Ihol
dingy
oudown?
Hi
m:whywoul
dyou?
Ilov
eyouandi
fyouwer
eI
woul
dntmi
nd.
.
Il
ookeddownbuthet
il
tedmyhead,
hel
oves
doi
ngthat
..
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ousomuch.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hebr
oughthe'
sfacet
hewasonl
yinchesaway
fr
om mi necl oserandhi slipswer ealreadyon
mi ne..
theki ssisj ustfullofemot ionsbutt urned
toademandi ngki ssashepushedmeunt ilmy
backwasagai nstt hewal k,histoungecoaxi ng
mi ne,mytounget enti
velymethi sandan
i
nv oluntarymour nescapedmyl ips.Hepr essed
hisbodyagai nstmi neunt i
l Icouldf eel hi
s
erectiononmyt ummy .Iletmyhandscar ess
his6pack, upt ohi sfaceunt il
Igothol dofhi s
hairthatwascur l
s.Ipul l
edhi m closerast he
kissdeepened, Icoul dfeel my selfgettingwet .
Hishandst ravelledt omyassandgent ly
squeezed. .Af t
erawhi lehegr oanedpul li
ngout
oft hekiss,hisey eswer er edandwer ehal f
closed.
Hechuckl
edabi
t.
.
Him:It
hinki
tsact
ual
l
yagr
eati
deai
fyou
showeredal
one..
Hesai
dlet
ti
ngmegoful
lyandwalki
ngout,
I
t
ookalongheav
ybr
eath.
.AsIshoweredIj
ust
tookthatmomentt ot
hinkofwhatcoul
dhave
happenedifhedidn'
twalkaway,
that
swhenI
deci
dedIwant edhim..
Iwant
edhim badl
y.
AfterbathingIgotoutofthebathroom with
onlyat owelcoveri
ngmybody ,Ineededmy
clothes.WhenIgotouthewasn' tthereinthe
room.It ookadeepbr eat
hnowt r
yingtolook
formycl otheswhichIcouldn'
tfi
nd..Hewal ked
i
naf terawhi l
e..
Hi
m:done?
Me:
yeah
Hewasnowf
ull
ydr
essed.
.
Hi
m:t
ake
Hesai
dhandi
ngmesomecl
othes
Him:yoursist
erli
edt oyourmom int
hemor ni
ng
sayi
ngy ouwentt ojogsoy ouar
esafebecause
shesalreadylef
tforwor k.
.
Me:
that
sgr
eat
Hi
m:y
eah.
.l
etmebat
h
Hewalkedtothebathr
oom..Iwasready
,ok
maybepartofiti
t'
smyhormonesbutanother
i
tsme,Il
ovehimt oomuchtogivei
tuptohim..
Iwalkedtothebathr
oom whereIcoul
dheart
he
shower ,
Iknockedsi
lent
lyont
hebathroom
door.
.thewaterst
oppedrunni
ng.
Hi
m:Yeah
Me:
ummh.
.I
..
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
Iwantt
ohav
esex
Isai
ditf
astwi
thoutbr
eat
hingi
nbet
ween.
.
Hi
m:what
..
what
?
If
eltl
ikeIhadsai
dsomet
hingwr
ongbutt
hat
s
whatIwanted
Me:
Iwanty
out
otakeawaymyv
irgi
nit
ynow.
.
Hekeptqui
teforawhile,Ist
art
edregr
etti
ng
whatIj
ustsai
d..
Iret
reatedfr
om thedoorand
wentbacktothebed.Thebat
hroom door
openedaft
erawhileandheemergedwithjusta
towelonhi
slowerbody.
Him:
youdonthav
eto.
..
Iknowy
ounotr
eady
and.
.-
Me:
I'
mready
..
Iwhi
sper
ed.
Hi
m: Kri
syoudoknowoncewehav
esext
her
e's
noreverse
Me:
Ido.
.Iwant
..Iwanty
ou.
.Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:comeher
e
Il
ookedathi
mf orawhil
ethenst
oodup.
.and
walkedupt
ohim..hehel
dmyhandsandl
ooked
atme..
Him:Ilov
ey ou,Il
oveyousomuch. .maybetoo
muchandIdon' twantyoutodoany t
hingyou
notreadyforjustbecausemay beyoufeelIwi
ll
cheatony ou.
.Iwantyouto..-
Iwanttomake
l
ovet oyouwheny ouareready,
notputunder
pr
essur
eorf
eel
li
key
ouhav
enochoi
ce.
.
Hearinghi
m saythattouchedme, Il
ookedat
him,deepinhi
sey esandIcouldseehemear nt
i
t,Bandi
lehasthi
scharacterandper sonal
i
ty
whichmakesmeconcl udethefactthathe'
snot
thekindofper
sonf orromanti
ct heori
es.
Me:IknowbutI
'
mr eadythoughI
'
m scaredandI
t
hinkI'
m al
waysgoingt
obescared.
.andforthe
r
ecordIlov
eyoutoo
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?Sur
esur
esur
e?
Me:
yes.
.
Hel
ookedi
ntomyey
es.
.
Hi
m:arey
ousur
e,100%t
hatt
hisi
swhaty
ou
want
?
Me:
yes
Hef i
nal
lyletgomyhandshehadbeen
hol
ding..
thenhishandswentstr
aighttomy
waistandpulledmeclosert
ohim..Moments
l
aterwewer ekissi
ng,apassi
onatekisswi
th
ourt oungesmov ingi napar t
icularr hy t
hm.Hi s
handsundi dmyt owel andi tfelltot hegr ound
l
eav ingmenaked, heki ssedmyneckt omy
boobst hensof tlysuckedashi sot herhand
slowl ypinchedandt wist edmyni ppl e.Iletouta
mour naswhathewasdoi ngt omesentsome
fi
rewor kstomyspi nal,
Ihel dhisheadashe
changedsi desandst artedwi tht heot herboob.
Mypussywasal readywetandIwant edhi m
thatmoment ..Hemov edwi t
ht heki ssesdown
tomynav elthent omyt highs,hesepar atedmy
l
egsabi tthenst artedsmel li
ngmyi nnert highs,
I
couldn' tholdmymour nsanymor e,my
breathi ngwasnowunst ableashewentt omy
pussywi thhist ounge, hest artedmuf f
ingme
andIj ustlosti twhi lepushi nghi shead
deeper .Afterawhi leIwast ryi
ngt ocat chmy
breath. Hepickedmeupandpl acedmeont he
beddr oppinghi st owel andcamebet weenmy
l
egs. ,hewasbi g,
v erybigandmybr eathing
hitchedasIl ookedathi sdi ck,Ithinkhenot iced
mydi scomf or tthathecameov ert omyl ipsand
kissedme. .thenwhi spered" dontwor ry,i
fit
hurtsst opme"heki ssedmeagai nashehe
pulledmywai stdownabutunt i
l Icoul dfeel his
dickonmypussy ,
myhear twasal readyr acing
i
tsownmar at hon.Ij umpedabi twhenIf elthim
trytomakehi swayi nasi tbroughtsome
unfami liarf eel i
ng,het r
iedagai nandagai nunt i
l
hehadputi nt het ipi nme, Ipressedmyl ips
togetherhar dt ryi
ngt odeal awaywi ththepai n.
Hepushedhi msel fi nf urt
hermor eandt hepai n
i
ncr eased, Ibi tmyl owerl ipbutt hepai n
woul dntj ustgoaway .Themomenthef i
lledme
allupt ear shadal readyst r
eamed, thiswas
painful andIcoul dnol ongerhol di t.
"it
spai nful"I
mut teredbr eat hless." Shoul dIst op? "Heasked
withhi sv oicef ullofconcer n..
thisi swhatI
want edandIcoul dn' tchickenoutnow.Ishook
myheadno" justbegent le"him: ok
Hepul
ledoutt
henwentbackin,sl
owlyhedi
d
t
hisov
erandoveragai
nunti
lthepainand
pleasur ewaswhatIwant ed. Him makingl ovet o
mewasj ustonanot herlev el,
yesitwaspai nful
atthest artbutast hingswentonpl easur e
startedki ckingi n,
andi twaswonder ful.His
thrustwer esl owbutf r
equentandt heydr ewme
closerandcl osertomybr eakingpoi nt,
his
handswer eexpl oringthepl acesInev erknew
existed,mour nsandgr oansr ul
edthehot elroom
aswel osteachot herint hei ndefi
nable
pleasur e.Ist art
edmov i
ngmyhi pstentively
meet inghi sthrustsandi twasj ustoutoft hi
s
wor l
d.Byt hetimeIr eachedcl imaxmybody
hadal readysuf fer
edmul ti
pleofor gasmsand
hecomej ustaftermecol l
apsingbesi desme.
Aswecaughtourbr eathst hatswer eitact uall
y
occur redt omewedi dn'tuseacondom.Hol y
hell!
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t25
.
KRI
S
.
.
Hi
m:okdr
inkt
his
Bandil
esai
dhandingmemor ni
ngaft
erpil
l
s
withabott
leofwateri
nthecar
.It
ookthem and
drank.
.
Me:Ihav
eheardaboutni
ggasgiv
ingthei
r
gi
rl
fri
endpai
nki
ll
erssayi
ngit
'samorningaf
ter
..
Him: t
hosearetherealdeal
,y
oucancheckt he
recei
ptplusI'
m notabouttogiv
eyourparents
onemor ereasontohatemebyr ui
ningyour
l
ife,
notthatIwouldmindgetti
ngyoupregnant
though..
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m sur
eyouwoul
dn'
tmi
nd.
.Igotaj
ob.
.
Hi
m:aj
ob?
Me:
yeah,
atar
est
aur
ant
Hi
m:ohw,
goodf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
yeah,
I
'm goi
ngt
osoonst
arthav
ingmyown
money
Him:andthi
sremi
ndsme,
Iwanty
ourbank
detai
ls.
.
Me:
forwhat
?
Hi
m:t
hat
snoty
ourbusi
ness
Me:
i
tisact
ual
l
y..
Hi
m:t
ake
Hesai
dgi
vi
ngmesomepi
l
ls
Him:
andnowthi
sarey
ourpai
nki
l
ler
s..Fort
he
pai
n,
youst
il
lsor
eri
ght
?
Hi
m say
ingt
hatmademymi
ndt
rav
elt
othe
momentwhenhishandswereal
loverme,
our
l
ovemakingandhowitwassogoodand..
.and
ni
ce.Butqui
ckl
yIt
ookitof
fmymi nd.
Me:
yes,
buti
tsmor
epai
nful
whenIwal
k..
Him:dr
inkt
hepi
l
ls,
thenIwi
l
lbuysomet
hingt
o
eat.
.
Idrankthepainki
l
lersashedrov
et oRailpar
k
mall,
Ididn'
tevengiv
ehim di
rect
ions,heknew
thecornersl
ikehestaysi
nGabor one.
Me:
youknowt
hispl
acewel
l
..
Hi
m:y
eah,
Ihav
ebusi
nessher
e
Me:
ohw.
.
Af
terawhi
l
ehehadpar
kedatr
ail
par
kmal
l
.
Hi
m:wannacomewi
th?
Me:
andembar
rassmy
sel
f?wi
thmyf
unnywal
k?
Hi
m:ok,
j
ustwai
tformet
hen.
.
Hekissedmycheekbef
oreget
ti
ngoutoft
he
car
.AssoonashewasgoneInoticedhel
eft
hisphonei nt hecarovert hedashboar d.Itook
i
t,andmyhear tmelt
edashi sscr eensav erwas
me.I tseemedl i
keIwassl eepingorsomet hing
l
iket hatbutImustadmi tIdi dlookcut e..I
placedhi sphonebackandj ustcl osedmyey es.
Nomat terwhatpeopl emaysaybutBandi leis
j
ustper fect, okmay behe' snott hatper fectbut
tomehei s.It ookmyphoneandswi tchedi t
on,Ihaddozensofmessagesf rom Al ex."Hey
Kris,
arey ouok? ",
"hey,
pleasecal lme" ,
"I'
m
wor r
iedKr is,pleasecal
lme. .
ruok? "Andt helist
wenton, shemustbewor ri
edsoIdeci dedt o
texther."hey ,
I'
m okdntwr ryabtme, I'
m cmng
homer ytnow, l
uvu".Aft
ersendi ngt hemessage
shei mmedi atelycal
ledlikeshehadbeen
wai t
ingfort hemessage.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
,ar
eyouok?
Me:yes,
I'
m sor
ryaboutyest
erday.
.Iwas
car
elessandself
ishthatIf
orgotIhada
r
esponsi
bil
i
tyt
otakecar
eof
..
Her
:whi
chr
esponsi
bil
i
ty?I
'
m ol
dKr
is
Me:sti
l
l,
Iwassupposedt otakecareofyou,you
aremysi st
er,
myresponsibi
li
ty.
.Idontknow
whatIwoul dhav
edonei fsomethinghappened
toyou..
Her
:t
hankGody
ourboy
fri
endsav
edy
ou
Me:
yeah.
.ar
eyouok?
Her:y
eah..butmmawhyi syourboyf
ri
end
Scarry
,yeshe'shotandal
lbuthe'
sScarr
yas
fuck!
Il
aughed.
.
Me:he'
snot.
..
he'
sthebestper
sonoutt
her
e
onceyougettoknowhim
Her
:henev
ersmi
l
es.
.
Me:
hedoes,
inf
actal
way
s
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:yousay
ingt
hatj
ustbecausey
ouguy
sar
e
dat
ing.
.Butany
wayy
oucomi
ngnow?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her:
ok,
Itol
dmom y
ouwentoutf
oraj
og.
.Isent
youatext
Me:
yeah.
.l
ookIwi
l
lseey
ouathome,
lov
eyou
Her
:l
ovey
oumor
e..
TheIhungup, Bandi
l
ewasalr
eadyapproachi
ng
thecarhol
dingaboxofpi
zza.Hegotinthecar
andgaveitt
ome. .
Hi
m:boughtpi
zzaf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
whatabouty
ou?
youhav
en'
teat
en
Hi
m:Ihat
epi
zza
Me:
Il
ovepi
zza
Hej
ustsmi
l
edst
art
ingt
hecar
..
Me:
mysi
stersay
syoul
ookScar
ry
Hi
m:doI
?
Me:
that
sthet
hing,
Iact
ual
l
ytol
dhery
oudon'
t.
.
Iopenedthepi
zzaanditwasatri
pledecar
.I
star
tedeati
ngandasusualhekeptst
eali
ng
gl
ancesatme..
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
ouar
easl
oweat
er.
.
Me:
noI
'
m not
..
Hi
m:y
esy
ouar
e,andIl
ovei
t.
.
Ichuckl
edshy
lyl
ooki
ngdown.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcomepi
cky
ouupf
orl
unch,
howi
s
t
hat?
Me:
i
tsal
ready12hr
s..
Hi
m:y
eah,
Iwi
l
lcomear
ound1400hr
s..
Me:
ok
Moment sl
aterhi
scarwasparkedatmygat e,
I
sawDylan'
sandTshepiescar
sparkedinsi
de
they
ardandI '
m sur
etheywereal
lher
e..
Hi
m:y
ouguy
shav
evi
sit
ors?
Me:
no,
thosear
emyf
ri
ends.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.sol
unch?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:okIl
ovey
ou.
.
Hesaidpul
li
ngmef orashor
tpassi
onat
ekiss.I
tookadeepbreat
h,andwhatfil
l
edmymi ndis,
is
henowgoingtoleav eme?wehadsexnow
what?
Hi
m:whatar
eyout
hinki
ng?
Hesai
dbr
ingi
ngmebackt
oear
th.
.
Me:
arey
ounowgoi
ngt
oleav
eme?
Hi
m:l
eav
eyou?
Me:
yeah,
l
eav
emenowt
hatwehadsex?
Hi
m:y
oudontt
rustmedoy
ou?
Me:
I'
m scar
ed
Him:
youdonthav
et oKri
sti
n,andsexisnot
goi
ngtomakemel eave,
yeswejusthadsexbut
I
'm herewithyoubecauseIl ov
ey ou,andI'
m
moret hanhappyy outhoughtI
'mt heoneto
l
osey ourinnocenceto..Il
oveyouandnowt hat
wehadsext her
e'snothingasbreakup. .
Ilov
e
you
Hesai
dpi
nchi
ngmycheekabi
t.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
o,nowl
etmego.
.
Igotof fhiscarwi t hthepl asticbagcont aining
mycl othesbecauset hecl otheshegav eme
earli
erwer enewcl othesandal soItookt he
pizzawi thmeandwal kedmyf unnywal kslowly
tothegat e,gotinandl ookedbackathi m.He' s
carwasst il
lther
e, Iwav edathi m bef oreturning
andwal kingt othedoor .AsIgott othedoormy
phoner eceivedat ext,andf unnyenoughf rom
Bandile.."Il
ov eyousomuch, youandy ourwal k
together"Ichuckl edpl acingt hephoneaway
andf i
nal l
yopeningt hedoor .Theyall t
urnedt o
measIwal kedin,Dy lan,BK,Antony ,
Alexand
Tshepie.
Al
ex:
hey
Shesai
dcomi
ngt
ohugme.
.
Me:
hi
Dy
lan:
yourcousi
nisf
uckenr
ich!
Me:
cousi
n?
Al
ex:hemeanscousi
nBandi
l
ewhoj
ust
dr
oppedyou
Il
aughedwhil
eAlexgav
emet
he"
Idi
dn'
tknow
whattodo"l
ook.
Me:
yeahhei
s..
BK:I
'
m sor r
y..
nowearesorr
yaboutyester
day
Kri
s..
.Idon'
tevenknowhowy ougotdrunkbut
weshoul dgavekeptacl
osereyeonyou..
Me:noit
smyf
aul
treal
l
y,IhopeIdi
dn'
trui
nyour
ni
ght.
.
Ant
ony
:no.
.i
tsourf
aul
t.
.butwear
egl
ady
ou
saf
e
Dy
lan:
yeah.
.
Isl
owlysli
ddownandsatont hef l
oortoavoi
d
walki
ngaroundsi ncemysor ev -
jaywasn'
t
makingiteasier
,Ijustcoul
dn'twalkaround
spell
i
ngoutt oeveryonethatIjusthadsex.
Theyall
satdownont hefl
oor.
Me:andt
hen?
whyar
eyouguy
sSi
tt
ingont
he
f
loor
?
Al
ex:
becausey
oudi
d..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
l
onal
atsenwa(
youar
ecr
azy
)
BK:
aii
ebi
l
ekenal
egame'
nyana(
Ihav
eagame)
Dy
lan:
what
'st
hename?
Antony:whil
ey ouarest
il
latit
,Kr
ispassmethe
pizza.
.It
houghty ouwentforajog,
wheredi
d
yougett hepizzaandcl
othes?
Me:
wel
l
...
I.
..
ummh
Tshepi
e:al
i
ecomi
ngr
ightt
her
e..
Dy
lan:
yeah.
.Icanseei
t
Ismi
l
edatDy
lan.
.
Me:
wel
l
..I
..
Iwentt
oRai
lpar
k..
justt
ounwi
nd.
.
Ant
ony
:ok,
thepi
zza.
.
Ipassedt
hepi
zzaathi
mt aki
ngasi
l
entsi
gh
thatt
heydi
dn'
tpushf
urt
her.
BK:
thegamei
sssss.
..
.pl
ayi
ngcar
ds!
Hesai
dthr
owi
ngt
hem i
ntheci
rcl
ewehad
f
ormed.
.
Dy
lan:
ok
BK:notjustanypl ayi
ngcards!buttr
uthordare
playi
ngcar ds,t
heper sonwhowi nsgetsthe
chancet opointatany oneheorshewant s,t
hen
tr
uthordar eshim orherandf ail
uretoabide
youwi l
lhav etocashP100ordr i
nk2lit
tersof
waterin6mi nutes.
.anyoneout?
Ev
ery
bodykeptqui
te.
.
BK:soev er
yoneisi
n..
nowletthegame
begin.
.butbefor
eanyquesti
ons?
Tshepie:
justoneext
rar
ule.
..
pleasedontbr
eak
rel
ati
onships.
.
BK:
dontwor
ry
Ant
ony
:thi
sgamei
shot
..
Dy
lan:
Ili
kei
t.
.
Af
terawhi
lewewer
epl
ayi
ng,
thef
ir
stgame
Al
exwon..
Her
:sot
rut
hordar
eBK
BK:dar
e,ket
sabannet
enna(
I'
m scar
edoft
he
tr
uth)
Weal
ll
aughed.
.
Alex:
Ok,postonFacebookri
ghtnowandtweet
asentencesayingoutthegi
rly
outrul
ylov
e
unconditi
onal
ly
..
BK:t
heper sonIlove,Il
oveherasasi ster
becauseshesmysi sterbutbesi
desit..
Idon'
t
l
oveany oneelsethatkindoflove.
.nott he
rel
ati
onshipkindof..butIl
ovemysi ster
uncondi
ti
onal
lov
e.
Dy
lan:
yoursi
sterMat
la?
Ant
ony:doeshehav
eanot
hersi
sterexpect
Matl
a?
Ant
onyaskedl
ooki
ngatDy
lan.
.
Dy
lan:
mxm
Il
aughed.
.
BK:y
esIloveher,
eversincebirt
hIloveherandI
wil
ldoanyt
hingforher..
.goodorbadbecauseI
l
oveher,
Ial
way smakesur eherhappiness
comesfi
rstnomat terwhat..
.soletmepost!
Hetookhisphoneandpost ed.IwishSam was
l
ikethat
,butthenthi
sledmymi ndto
Venus..
butquickl
yIbrushedhim offmymind
asalways.
.ThenextgameTshepi ewoni
t.
.
Him:
Iwanttosaysomet hingfir
st..
ummhKr i
sI
knowIwasoutofl i
ney esterday,IknowIhur
t
youandI'
mr eal
l
ysor r
y..Itjustcl
ickedinmy
mindyest
erdaynightt
haty ouhav ebeent
he
fri
endIhav eal way sneeded, alwayst hereforme
whenIneedy oubutIal way sf ai
l t
odosoand
forthatI'm sor ry
.I'm sorryIam nott hefri
end
youneedbuty ester daywhaty ousai d,t
heage
diff
erencet hingmademet hinkaboutmy
parentsandi guessmymi ndt el
lsmet hat
swhy
theyfightal otandIdontwantt hesamet hing
happeni ngtoy ou..I'
m sorry,sosor r
yandI
promisest artingf rom todayI 'm goingtobet he
bestfriendy oudeser ve..
Me:
I'
m gl
ad.
.
Hecr
awl
edov
erandhuggedme.
.
Hi
m:youar
emysist
erandnoMat t
erhowmuch
wefi
ghtt
hatwi
l
lneverchange.
.
Me:
i
twon'
t
Hi
m:nev
er.
.
Ismi
l
edathi
m..
Hi
m:ok,
tr
uthordar
eKr
is.
.
Me:
tr
uth
Hi
m:ok,
thecousi
nguy
..
ishet
heeone?
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
yes
BK:
whatar
eyouguy
ssay
ing.
.who?
Dy
lan:
theguywi
tht
heamg63i
stheeone?
Ant
ony
:what
?
Tshepi
e:y
ouguy
sar
elost
Dy
lan:
wai
t,
thenmakeusunder
stand.
.
Me:
ummh.
.he.
.
Tshepi
e:hest
heonewhoi
s..
Al
ex:
whoi
ssentbydadt
okeepusi
nthewat
ch
Dy
lan:
ohok.
.okl
et'
spl
ayagai
n..
Il
ookedatAlexwiththe"t
hankyou"look,I
wasn'
treadytoexposemyr el
ati
onship,noty
et
atl
east
..Thefol
lowinggamewaswonbyBK.
BK:
fi
nal
l
y!okt
rut
hordar
eDy
lan.
.
Dy
lan:
dar
e..
BK:Iwantyoutocal
lDudur
ightnowandtel
lher
youloveher,
putt
hephonel
oudspeaker
..
Dudui
sDy
lan'
srecentexgi
rl
fr
iend.
.
BK:
youloveher
,weallknowitsoj
ustcal
lher
andt
ell
herbecausethatpri
deofyour
sis
l
eadi
ngy ouast
ray
..
Me:
cal
l
!
Dyl
antookhi
sphoneanddialedhernumber
put
ti
ngitonl
oudspeaker
..Duduansweredaf
ter
awhil
e..
Her
:Dy
lan?
Hi
m:umhhhey
..
Her
:hey
..
Ther
ewasanawkwar
dsi
l
encef
orawhi
l
e..
Dy
lan:
Ilov
eyou,
Il
ovey
ousomuch
Her:
Dyl
an.
..
Ilov
eyout
oobuty
ouknowwhywe
br
okeup..
Dy
lan:
noIdont
,howabouty
ouexpl
aini
ttome
Her:
Dylan..
you..
Idon'tdeser
veyou.
.Idont
deser
vey ourlove.
.y
oudeser vemuchbett
er.
.
Hi
m:Iwanty
ou.
.
Her
:I
'm pr
egnant
..
Shewhi
sper
ed.
.
Dy
lan:
what
?
Her
:I
'm pr
egnant
Dyl
an:Ihear
dthatpar
t,
butweal
way
sused
pr
otect
ion.
.
Her
:Iknow,
I
..
-
Dylan:butit
sok,wewi l
lj
usthav
et otakecareof
thesituat
ion..Il
oveyouandyouloveme, we
cant akecareofthebaby.
.t
ogether
..Iknowyour
parentswillbe-
Her
:Isl
eptwi
th.
..
wit
h..
someoneel
se.
.I.
.
Hi
m:wai
twhat
?
Her
:i
twasami
stakeBabe,
I
..
AndDy
lanhungupgoi
ngout
side.
.
BK:
fuck!
nowt
hat
'smessedup.
.
Me:
wow!
Al
ex:
Ineedwat
er
Tshepi
e:met
oobabe.
.
Theysai
dst
andi
ngupgoi
ngt
otheki
tchen.
.
BK:
Kri
s..
goaf
terhi
m
Me:
me?
Ant
ony:y
es,y
ouaret heonlyonewhoknows
howtomaket hi
ngsr i
ght.
..
li
keyoudi
dwit
hme
l
astyear
..
withRebecca..
BK:t
hatgir
lhadbewit
chedyou,
thewayy
ou
usedtorunaft
erherass!
BKsai
dlaughi
ng.
.
Antony
:Il
ovedher,
that
swhy..
somet
imesIj
ust
wonderwhysti
ckaroundi
fyoudon'
tl
ove
someone,onl
ytohurtt
hem l
ater
?
Me:
alothasbeenhappeni
ngi
nmyabsence
Ant
ony
:mor
ethanal
ot.
.
Me:
ok,
l
etmegot
alkt
oDy
lan.
.
Istoodupandwentoutside,hewassittedon
topofhiscarst
arr
ingatnothingunt
ilIstoodi
n
frontofhi
m..
Me:
hey
Hi
m:Kr
is
Isatdown,downatthepavementsayi
ng
basi
call
ynothing,
Idi
dn'
tknowwhattosayand
sower emainedinsi
l
enceforawhil
e.
Hi
m:l
i
fei
sfuckedup!
Hef
inal
l
ymanagedt
osaywi
thaf
aintv
oice.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.andi
thur
ts
Hi
m:morethanany
thi
ng.
.Nev
ert
houghtt
his
woul
dhappen..
Me:
whenl
i
feget
ssomesseduponmeIcr
y..
Hi
m:wel
lunl
i
key
ouIwi
l
ltof
indawaynott
o
f
eelt
hepai
n
Me:
yeah..
.Iknow,
you,
TshepieandBKdo
t
hat
,butIhaveseenit
sdiff
erentwi
thAnt
ony
..
Him:
yeah.
..
li
key
ouheal
l
owshi
msel
ftof
eel
the
pai
n
Me:y
eah.
.doyout
hinki
tsSaf
eformet
osay
"it
s
goi
ngtobefi
ne?"
Hi
m:y
oucansayi
t.
..
Me:
i
tsgoi
ngt
obewel
lwi
thy
ou.
.
Hi
m:whydoy
ousayt
hatt
hough?
Me:
becauseIhavel
ear
ntonething,
i
fit
'snot
mear
nttobethenit
snotbuti
fitismeanttobe
i
twil
lbe.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lgetov
eri
t.
.
Me:
obviousl
y.
..Youknowsomeoneoncemade
melear
nsomet hi
ng..
Hi
m:whati
sit
?
Me:
l
et'
sgeti
nsi
det
hecar
..
Helookedatmef orawhi
lebef
orefi
nal
ly
get
tingof
fhiscarandget
ti
nginsi
dethecar
wit
hme. .
Me:
makey
ourseatl
i
edown
HedidthatasIt
ooadj
ust
edmyseatsoIcanl
i
e
down.
Me:
l
ieony
ourseat
Hel
ayi
nhi
sseatwhi
l
eIdi
dthesame.
.
Me:now,t
rytoblockyourmindoverany
thing.
Theneveryt
hingelsewil
lst
op..Thewholeworld
wil
lstopandwhatwi l
lonl
yexisti
syouin
sol
udutesil
enceandpeace..
Hecl osedhiseyes,
Idi
dthesameaf ter
moni tor
inghimforawhil
ewat chi
nghis
stressedfacestar
ttorel
ax.Ial
solayther
e.I
musthav esomehowfall
enasleepasIgot
wokenupbymyphoner i
nginginmypocket,
I
tookitoutandansweredwi t
hmyey eshalf
cl
osed.
Me:
hel
l
o?
Cal
l
erI
D:andt
hen?
Ireal
i
zeditwasBandil
eandshi t!
thelunch!I
l
ookedaroundandDy l
anwasst i
l
l sl
eepi
ng,he
l
ookedsoi npeacesosil
entlyIgotoffhiscar
.
Racedtomyr oom i
gnori
ngt hepainthat
conceal
edinbetweenmyl egs.
Me:
ummh,
arey
oust
il
lcomi
ng?
Hi
m:I
'
m aty
ourgat
e
Me:
God!
Isl
ept
..
cany
ougi
vemeami
nut
e?
Hi
m:30mi
nut
es
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Hi
m:i
tsok,
getr
eadyandbequi
ck
Me:
ok
Hi
m:whower
eyouwi
thi
nthecar
?
Me:
afr
iend.
.
Hi
m:pl
easebequi
ck
Hesaidi
gnor
ingme,somehowapar
tofmef
elt
l
ikehewasangry
..
Me:
he'
sjustaf
ri
end.
.Iswear
Ihear
dhi
m chuckl
e..
Hi
m:andwhatdi
dIsay
?
Ikeptmysi
l
ence.
.
Hi
m:l
ook,
Il
ovey
ouok?
nowpl
easedr
essup.
.
Me:
ok,
Il
ovey
out
oo
Moment slat
erIcameoutoft hebat hroom
wipi
ngmy selfaft
ertakingaqui ckshower .I
wentov ertomysui t
casesthatIhav en't
unpackedandbr owsedt hr
ough, aft
erawhi l
eI
wasdr essedupi nawhi temidt highbody
hugginghighwai stskirt
,aseethr oughcroptop
andawhi t
econv erse,
letmybr aidsloseandI
l
ookedgoodt ogo.Iwentbackt othesitt
ing
room aftergrabbingmywhi teslangback.Dy lan
wasnowwi t
hthem andt heylookedso
f
ocussedi
ntheTv
.
Al
ex:
goi
ngsomewher
e?
Me:
yeah.
.wi
l
lbebackaf
terawhi
l
e
Dy
lan:
andwher
etoexact
ly?
Me:
themal
l
,by
e
Isai
dwalki
ngout.Iwal
kedintothest
reet,
I
coul
dn'
tseeBandil
escaranywheresoItookmy
phonesotocal
lhim.Heansweredafterawhi
le.
.
Me:
I'
mready
..
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
huh?
Hekeptquit
e..Aft
erawhileIheardahoot er
behi
ndmeandi nv
olunt
aryIturned.
..He'
scar
wasbehindme.Hegotof fhe'scarandwal ked
tome..
Hi
m:y
oul
ookr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Me:
thanks
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo
Hesai
dput
ti
nghi
shandoutf
ormeandIt
ook
i
t.
.
Wewenttothecarandgoti
n.Af
terawhi
l
ehe
wasdr
ivi
ngaway..
Hi
m:sowhatwer
eyoudoi
ngsl
eepi
ngi
nthecar
wi
ththatboy
?
Me: he'
sgir
lfr
iendcheatonhim andnowshe'
s
pregnantsoIwasjusttryi
ngtogethimtocool
downt henthi
nkofawayf orwardwithacl
ear
mind..
Hi
m:ok
Me:
yeah.
.
Him:sowher
ear
eyougoi
ngt
obest
ayi
ngat
Varsi
ty?
Me:Iwast hi
nki
ngmay beIcouldrentahouse
nearby
,thenshar
eitwithsomeone..Ihat
e
stay
ingalone,
I'
m sur
eIwi l
lgetl
onely
Hi
m:ok,
andwhatwi
l
lyoubest
udy
ing?
Me:
l
aw
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
s..
nicebabe
Me:
yout
hinkIcan'
tbecauseofmyt
inyv
oice?
Hi
m:It
hinky
oucanwi
thy
ourt
inyv
oice.
..
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
abi
tsor
ebutIwi
l
lbeok
Hi
m:I
'm sor
ryIhurtyou,
butnextt
imei
twon'
tbe
t
hatmuchpainful
..
Me:
Ihopeso.
Hi
m:sowhenar
eyoust
art
ingy
ourj
ob?
Me:t
omorr
owIguess,
whenIgett
ouniver
sit
yI
al
sowannadosomethi
ngli
keapartt
imejob
Hi
m:wi
l
lyoucope
Me:
yeah.
..
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lsee
Me:
youwi
l
llookf
oraj
obf
orme?
Hi
m:whyshoul
dIi
fIhav
eacompany
?
Me:
ohw,youaregoi
ngtoopensomet
hingf
or
meinyourcompany?
Hi
m:y
eah
Me:
ok
Af
terawhil
ewewer einar
est
aur
anteati
ng
whenthi
sotherguycamet
oourt
able.
.
Hi
m:ohf
uck!
dudey
ouher
e?
Hesai
dtoBandi
lewhost
oodupandf
ist
bumpedwi
ththi
sguy.
.
Bandi
l
e:Iwasgoi
ngt
ohi
tyouup.
.
Hi
m:Ineedtoshowy ousomet
hingfr
uit
ful
.
.And
who'
sthebeauti
ful
sexymam here?
Bandi
le:
ummht hat
'smywomanbr
uhandbabe
thi
sismyfr
iendRicar
do
Ri
car
do:
ohwni
ce.
..
ummhni
cet
omeety
ou
mam
Me:
l
ikewi
se
Bandi
l
e:ummhbabeasecondpl
ease
Hesaidstandi
ngupandwal ki
ngoutwithhi
s
fr
iendandthelastthingIhear
dwas"she'
shot"
.I
l
ookedatthem throughtheglasswal
landthat
Ricar
doguykeptgl anci
ngatme.Moment slat
er
Bandil
ewasback.
Hi
m:sor
ryaboutt
hatbabe
Me:
i
tsok
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lmakei
tupt
oyou
Me:
I'
m sur
eyouwi
l
l
Hej
ustchuckl
ed.
.
Aftereati
ngBandil
etookmet osomej
ewell
ery
shop,theki
ndofjewell
eryshopwi t
hev
eryt
hing
expensivethatIwoul
dnotev enatt
emptbuyi
ng.
Me:
thi
sshophasexpensi
vet
hingsonl
y.
.
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Hewentt othisdiamondnecklacewhichlooked
sobeaut i
ful
, buti
tspri
ce!Hewentwi thi
tatt he
cashierandpai dfori
t.
.Iwasjuststandi
ngt her
e
waiti
ngf orhim,Iwasn'
tsurpr
ised.
.Hesurely
couldaffordit.
.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo
Wewal kedtohi
scarandhedr ov
etothehot
el.
.
Whenwegott ohisroom,hetookoutt
he
neckl
acefrom i
tssmall
box..
Hi
m:comeher
e..
Iwal
kedt
ohi
m..
Hi
m:Iboughtt
hisf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
no.
.i
tst
oo.
.-
Ican'
ttakei
t.
.i
tst
oomuch.
.
Him:i
tsbeautiful
,forgetabouttheprice..
I
boughtitf
ory oubecauseIl oveyou,because
youtakethefirstplaceinmyhear t
,andbecause
youcompl et
eme. .IloveyouKris,
andIknowour
rel
ati
onshipmaynotbel ikeotherr
elationshi
ps
butIguessthat
'swhatmakesusuni
que.
.No
matterwhathappensIwanty
outoal
ways
knowIloveyou..
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Him:y
es,andsoy
ouar
egoi
ngt
otaket
his
neckl
ace..
Hesai
dpulli
ngmecloserandtur
ningme
ar
oundgivi
nghi
m myback.Hemademewear
i
tanditl
ookedsoBeauti
ful
..
Me:
i
tsr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Hi
m:andy
ouar
emuchmor
ebeaut
if
ul.
.
Het
urnedmear
oundandhel
dmywai
st.
.
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ou
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hegentl
yki
ssedmyli
pspulli
ngmemuchmor e
cl
oser
.Theki
sswasn'
tjustakiss,
becauseas
al
waysIcoul
dfeel
oursoulsconnect,
Ij
ustfal
l
i
nlovewithhi
m alloveragain,
thewayhel ooks
atmemel t
smyhear tandsomet i
mesIj ust
wonder,
i
sher eal
lymine?becausehej ust
makesmef eelli
keI'
mt heonlyonei nthewhol e
worl
dhesees.Hebr okethekissaf t
erawhi le
buthi
sfacewaswr it
tenconcer n.
.
Hi
m:whatdi
didot
hist
imear
ound?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
ouar
ecr
ying.
.
Iwi
pedmyf
aceandi
ndeedt
her
ewer
etear
s..
Isof
tl
ylaughed
Me:
Il
oveyout
oomucht
hati
thur
tsandmakes
mecry
..
Hechuckledbeforeburyi
ngmei nhisst
rong
armswher eIf
eltsaf
e..t
heonlyplacewhereI
canhearourheartsbeatingi
nthesamer hythm.
Ihuggedhim muchtighterhopi
ngitwoul
dl ast
for
ever.
.
.
~3MONTHSLATER~
.
Dy
lan:
I'
m scar
ed
Me:
okf
inel
etmecheckf
ory
ou.
.
Hegav
emehi
sphone.
.
BK:
star
twi
thmepl
ease
Al
ex:
Ihat
efeel
ingl
ikeyouguys,
Iremember
whenmyresul
tswereout.
.t
hankGodIonlygot
A'
s
Al
ex:
l
etmecheckf
ory
oubabe
Tshepi
e:t
hat
smygi
rl
..
butt
odaybabe.
.
Itwasthebegi
nningofMar chandtheBGSE
resul
tswereout
..IcheckedDylan'
sresul
tsf
ir
st
andhehad2A' sthenabunchofB' s.
Me:
Dyl
any
oudi
dwel
l
!
Hecametowardsmethent
ookthephoneaway
f
rom me.Af
terawhi
l
ehestart
edscreami
ng.
Dy
lan:
shi
t!
Capet
ownher
eIcome!
It
ookthephoneawayf
rom hi
m asIchecked
Antony
's.
.
Al
ex:
4'
sandB'
sBabe
Tshepi
e:Iknewi
t,
Iwor
kedhar
dfort
hoseA'
s
Me:I
'
m sure.
..
andAnt
onyy
ouhav
eoneAand
B'
s.
.youguysdidwel
l
BK:
am Iev
ergoi
ngt
ogetmyr
esul
ts?
Me:
l
etme.
.
Iquickl
ycheckedf
orhim,
mybreat
hinghi
tched
becausethi
sdudeonlyhad1BandA's.
BK:
tel
lmehowmanyD'
sIgotandE'
s
Me:
youonl
yhav
e1B
BK:
shi
t!
I'
m dead
Me:
andt
her
estar
eA'
s.
.
BK:
what
?
Me:
yeah.
.j
eezBKy
oudi
d..
noy
oul
eftamar
k..
Hequickl
ysnat
chedmyphoneandst
art
ed
j
umpingupanddown..
Hi
m:mamaImadei
t!
Thewhol
erest
aur
antl
ookedatus.
.
Me:
youdi
dit
Dyl
an:no,
wedi
dit
!Kr
isyourdadsai
dyougot
posi
ti
on2int
hewholeschool
..
weallmadei
t!
Me:
andVar
sit
y?
Ant
ony
:her
ewego
Thelastthreemont hs,havebeenok.Mom r eal
ly
didfi
xusj obsatt her estaurant,
me,Dy l
an,
Tshepi e,AntonyandBKwehav ebeen
workingtheresincet hen.Bandi leandIwear e
sti
llt
ogetherandy eswedohav eourf ight
sbut
attheendoft hedayt hewor ds"Ilovey ou"are
exchanged.Ev ersincet hreemont hsbackhe
onlycamet hisside5t i
mes, butt henI '
m glad
thatsoonenoughIwi l
l begoi ngcl osertohim
andseeinghim wontbeapr oblem.Asf or
Sam,wear enolongert hatmuchcl oselikewe
usedt o,i
tsli
kewehav edr i
ft
edapar tbutIblame
hi
mf ort hat,
onlyifhecanj ustputasidehis
angerf orBandileandseehowmuchhappyhe
makesme. IlasttalkedtoLeahandBar r
yaday
beforeandLeahsai dshewasal r
eadyi n
AustraliawhileBarrysaidshewast ogot o
newy orkinthef ol
lowingday swhil
emeont he
otherhandI '
mj ustwai t
ingformyl ett
erof
acceptancef rom theUni v
ersit
yof
Johannesbur gbecauseIappl i
edaweekago.
Dy
lan:
I'
m nowgoi
ngt
oappl
y
BK:
yeah.
.
Ant
ony
:mypar
ent
sar
egoi
ngt
obesohappy
..
Tshepi
e:y
eah,
especi
all
yyour
sBK
BK:
yeah.
.shi
tIcan'
tbel
i
evet
his
Me:
youbett
erbel
iev
eit
..
ohGod.
.I
'
m sohappy
f
oryouandever
yoneher
e
Dy
lan:
wet
her
eal
shi
t!
Tshepi
e:sayt
hatagai
n.
Wewereatther
estaur
antaf
terourshif
ts,
Alex
hadj
ustcometocheckuponmeaf terschool
..
Me:
l
et'
sgo
Dy
lan:
yeah
Westoodupandleft
,whi
l
eBK,Dyl
anandAntony
goti
nDylan'
scarandme,Al
exinTshepi
e'
s.
Tshepie:
whendidtheysayt
heywi
l
lgi
vey
ou
theacceptancel
ett
er?
Me:
i
naf
ew
Hi
m:ok.
.
Al
ex:
I'
m al
readysadthatbef
ore2weekscan
ev
enpassy '
al
lwil
lbegone
Me:
I,
per
sonal
l
y,I
'
m happy
Tshepi
e:I
'
m al
sosadbabe
Ichuckledandjustf
ocusedonmyphone. .BK
hadalreadypostedhisresult
sonFacebook.Hi
s
resul
tswerereall
ypleasing.Minut
esl
ater
Tshepiehadparkedinfrontofourhouse,Idi
dn'
t
wastetimeIjustgotoffthecarassoonast he
carstopped.Iwalkedi
nsidethehouse,mom
wasal r
eadyinbecauseIsawhercar .Igot
i
nsidethehouseandst rai
ghttothekit
chen
wereshewas.
Her
:baby
Me:
mom
Her
:r
esul
tsar
eout
Me:
theyal
ldi
dwel
l
Her:
thatsgreatandohht
her
e'ssomet
hingt
hat
camef oryoutoday.
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Shewipedherhandswit
hthedi
shtowelbefor
e
openi
ngadrawerandtaki
ngoutanenvelope.
Her
:camef
rom UJ
Myhear
tst
art
edbeat
ingf
ast
.
Me:
whatdoesi
tsay
?
Her
:Idi
dn'
topeni
t.
.
Shesaidgivi
ngitt
omeandsoqui cklyIt
ookit
thenopeneditwit
hshakinghands.
Itookoutt
he
l
etterandreadi
ttwice.
.
Mom:
and?
Me:
theyhav
eaccept
edme.
Iscr
eamed.
.
Mom:
Godi
sgood
Me:
yeah.
.
Al
ext
hengoti
n..
Al
ex:
what
'st
hescr
eami
ngabout
?
Mom:
yoursi
stergotaccept
edi
nUJ
Al
ex:
that
sgoodnews.
.
Shecameandhuggedme.
.
Her
:sowhenar
eyouexpect
edt
her
e?
Me:
nextweekWednesdayi
t'
sor
ient
ati
on.
.
Mom:
thenwehav
etost
artpr
epar
ingy
ou,
Iwi
l
l
cal
lyourf
ather
..
Thi
swast
hebestdayIhav
eev
erhad.
.
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
.
Max:
soforhowl
ongdoyouthinkTayl
orwon'
t
f
indouty
ouaref
ucki
nghisdaughter
?
Me:
somet
hingt
ell
smeheknows
Maxwhi
stl
ed,hewasgoi
ngtobeinSAfora
f
ewdays.Hehadcomebecausehewantedme
t
ohel
phim wi
thhisdr
ugoperat
ionabi
t.
Hi
m:t
hatdoesn'
tgood.
.
Me:i
tdoesn'
t.
.Butthewayheloveshi
s
daught
er,I
'
m surehewon'thur
ther
Hi
m:byhur
ti
nghery
oumeanhewon'
tki
l
lyou
becausehi
sdaught
erl
ovesy
ou?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sur
ehe'
snott
hri
l
led.
.
Me:
whichpar
entwil
lbethr
il
ledtof
indoutthat
t
hei
rdaught
erisdat
ingathi
ef?adr
uglord?
Him:
andontopofthaty
ouwantt
ogeti
nthe
humantr
aff
icki
ngzone.
.
Me:
itsaj
ackpot
Hi
m:i
twon'
tbei
fyouar
einj
ail
Me:dontworry,
I
'm get
tingsomeonet
orunit
,i
n
caseitgetbust
edbyt hepoli
ce,
i
twon'
tl
ink
backtome
Hi
m:hav
ingbr
ainsl
i
key
our
sisani
cel
i
fe
pr
obl
em..
Me:
i
tis.
.
Hi
m:howi
syoursi
ster
?
Me:
stayawayf
rom mysi
ster
!
Hi
m:I
'
mjustaski
ng.
.
Ij
ustgav
ehi
m al
ook.
.
Hi
m:andthenIwonderhowy ouaredat
ingsuch
abeaut
if
ulgi
rl
,ni
ggayoulookall
uglyandshit
!
Hesai
dget
ti
ngi
nhi
scar
,hewasatmyhouse.
.
Me:
me?
ugl
y?
Him:i
fIwereyouIwouldimpr
egnatehersoshe
doesn'
trunawaybeforeshemeet
st hi
sfr
esh
var
sit
yboys..
areyouevenhavi
ngsex?wantme
tofi
xyousomet hi
ng?
Icl
ickedmyt oungegoingbacki nsi
dethehouse
l
eav i
nghi mlaughinginhiscar,
itdidoccurto
met hatKrismaymeetbet t
erpeopl eat
uni
v er
sitybutmaki ngherpregnantwill
domor e
har
mt hangoodbutwhatIknowi sI'
mr eadyto
ki
ll
f orher.Enhlehadwentbackt oschoolsoit
wasonl ymei nmyhouse.AsIsatdownt o
watchTVt herewasaknockonmydoor .Igot
upandwentt oitandopeningTheodor ewasat
t
hedoor
.
Me:
Theo
Her
:Andi
l
e,canIcomei
n?
Shesaidpushingmei nsi
dethehousewithher
gett
ingin.Shewenttomysitti
ngroom andby
theti
meIgott her
eshewasonl yinherwhit
e
l
ingeri
elookingal
lsexyandhot.
.
Her
:mi
ssedme?
Mythroatj
ustwentdry,
butmyeyeswere
l
usti
ngonherbody,ev
ent hewayshet
alkedwas
j
ustassexy.
Her:
youknownobodycanr
idey
out
hewayI
can.
..
Asshewasst il
lst
andingther
e,maki ngmehar d
byjustlooki ngathermyphoner ang, It
ookitout
anditwasKr i
sandmyhear tstart
edbeat ing
fast
,i
tfeltlikeIwascheatingonherbutshes
beennot hingbuttheper f
ectgi
r l
fr
iendI
need,may bewemi ghtnothavesexl iketheway
Iusual
lyhadsexwi thTheobutit
salways
perf
ectbecauseitisn'
tj
ustfucki
ng,i
tisl
ove
making,
iti
sthatkindofsexthatconnect
sus.
Me:
ummhTheo,
Ihav
esomeone.
.
Her
:so?
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
sol
eav
e
Shel
aughed.
.
Her:
whenhasev
erhav
ingagi
rl
fr
iendst
opped
you?
Me:
si
nceIl
ovet
hisone
Her
:comeon.
.Iknowy
ouwantt
his
Me:
youdon'
tknowwhatIwant
..
Her
:ummhI '
m goi
ngtoChi
na,
hitaj
ob
t
here.
.howaboutagoodby
esex?
Me:
howabouty
ougocat
chy
ourf
li
ght
?
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Me:whi
lsty
ouarest
il
lati
t,
cl
oset
hedoori
n
yourwayout.
.
Isai
dwalkingtomyroom leavi
ngherinshock.
MaybeImi ghthav
eneversaidnotoherwild
sexbecauseshecangocrazyduringsexbutI
l
ovekristomuchnottohurtherli
kethat
.
Ical
l
edKr
isassoonasIgoti
nmyr
oom.
Shedi
dn'
ttakemucht
imet
oanswer
..
Her
:babet
heyhav
eaccept
edme!
Me:
that
sawesomebabe
Her:
yeahandmymom j ustcall
eddad,
hesay s
hehasalreadyl
ookedforaccommodationfor
me,andthehouseiscl
osetouniver
sit
y..
I'
m so
exci
ted
Me:
I'
mtheexci
tedone,
whenar
eyoucomi
ng?
Her:
onFri
day
..
anddadsay
shehasal
ready
boughtmeanewcar.
.
Me:
good,
atl
easty
ouwon'
tbeusi
ngt
axi
s..
Her
:yeah.
.Ij
ustcan'
twai
t.
.
Me:
met
oo
Her
:any
wayhowar
eyout
oday
?
Me:
I'
m ok,
howwaswor
k?
Her
:t
heusual
..
.
Me:
I'
m hungr
y..
Her
:t
henwhydon'
tyouor
deri
norcook?
Me:
I'
m hungr
yfory
ou
Shegiggl
ed,
thencl
ear
edhert
hroataf
tera
whil
e..
Her
:ohw
Me:
Iwannaf
eel
yourwar
mth
Her
:Ndi
l
e..
Me:
andheary
oumour
nmyname.
.
Iwassur
eshewast
urni
ngr
edwher
evershe
was.
Her
:ummhIhav
etogo.
..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:okfi
ne,l
et'
stal
kaboutsomet
hingel
sesi
nce
youaretooshy
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
sowhi
chcardi
dyourf
atherbuyy
ou?
Her
:hesay
sit
'sasur
pri
se
Me:
youhav
eal
i
cencer
ight
?
Her
:yeah,
tooki
tamont
hago
Me:
good,
soy
ouwi
l
lbeshar
ingt
hehouse?
Her
:yes.
.
Me:ok,
Ireal
l
ymissyou,
can'
tbel
i
eveIsawy
ou
l
ast2weeksago..
Her
:Iwi
shy
oucancomeov
ert
oni
ght
Me:
youdo?
Her
:yeahbutI
'
m comi
ngonFr
iday
..
.t
odayi
t'
s
Monday
Me:
yeah
Her:
sowhatwer
eyoudoi
ngnotanswer
ingmy
cal
l
?
Lust
ingov
erahalfnakedladyinmyhouseand
i
fyouhadn'
tcal
l
edpr obablywoul
dbefucki
ng
bynowmysubconsciousscreamed.
Me:
waswashi
ngmycar
He:
ok,
butatni
ght
?
Me:
yeah.
..
plusi
t'
sonl
y1730hr
s..
thesuni
sst
il
l
t
her
e..
Her
:ok.
.mom i
staki
ngusoutt
oni
ght
..
.
Me:
textmeassoonasy
ougethome
Her
:ok,
Il
ovey
ousomuchNdi
l
e
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oobabe
Her
:okby
e
Shethehungup..guil
tthenweighedmemaki ng
mesitonmybed, Ican'
tbeli
eveIletmyeyes
l
ustoverTheo,
knowingv er
ywellIhave
someoneIloveprobablymorethanmyl i
feand
l
osingherwouldki
llme.Ibrowsedthroughmy
phoneunti
lIf
oundsteve'
snumber ,
theguythat
runsmycompany ,
he'squit
egoodatwhathe
does,
Ical
ledhi
m.
Me:
yohmyni
ggaSt
eve!
Hi
m:ssupbr
uh?
Me:
Iwannaf
lyout
,usi
ngt
hecompany
sjet
..
Hi
m:ok,
when?
Me:
toni
ght
?
Hi
m:andwhenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Me:
tomor
rowear
lymor
ning.
.
Hi
m:t
hatcanbear
ranged,
howabout2130hr
s?
Me:
sti
l
lgood.
.
Hi
m:ok
It
henhungup.
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Mom hadt
akenustoafancyr
est
aur
antt
o
cel
ebr
atet
hegoodnews.
Mom:
yougi
rl
smakemeapr
oudmot
her
Me:
youshoul
dbepr
oud.
.
Mom:lookaty ou,
onl
yyesterdayyouwerea
babybutlooktoday.
.y
ouar eleavi
ngmyhouse
tost
ayal one,
tobeyourownper son.
.Al
ex,
onl
y
2yearsleftandyouwil
lbegone
Al
ex:
wegr
owi
ngf
astai
n'
twe?
Her
:youar
e..
Me:
wel
lcheer
swi
thor
angej
uicet
osuccess!
Mom:
tosuccess
Al
ex:
tosuccess
Af
tereat
ing,
wedr
ovebackhome.
Mom:
I'
m goi
ngt
osl
eepgi
rl
s,
I'
mti
red
Me:
met
oo.
.
Isai
dtexti
ngBandi
lethatIwashome,
aft
erthat
Il
ockedthedoorsandwenttomyroom wit
h
Alex
.
Her
:I
'm exhaust
ed.
.
Shesai
dtaki
ngof
fhercl
othes.
Me:metoo.
.butI
'
m goi
ngt
otakeaqui
ck
shower
..
Iwal
kedouttothebat
hroom..Tookaqui
ck
warm showert
henwentbacktomyroom..
.
Al
ex:
yourphonewasr
ingi
ng.
.
Me:
ohh
Iwentov
ert
oitandi
twasLeah,
shecal
l
ed
agai
nandsoimmedi
atl
yIanswer
ed.
Me:
Bae!
Her
:babe,
howar
eyou?
Me:
Igotaccept
edatUJ!
Her
:gr
eat
!Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou.
..
Me:
ohw,
whati
sit
?
Her
:youwi
l
lseeonFr
iday
..
Me:
youar
esendi
ngi
t?
Her
:yeah,
sohowi
syourboy
fri
end?
Me:
ok.
.hav
eyouf
oundsomeoneel
se?
Her
:no.
.andI
'
mfi
neal
one
Me:
ok
Her
:l
ookIwi
l
lcal
lyouonFr
iday
Me:
ok,
l
ovey
ou
Her
:l
ovey
out
oo
Shet
henhungup.
.
Al
ex:
whowast
hat
?
SheaskedasIst
art
eddr
essi
ngi
nmypj
'
s.
Me:
afr
iend,
shesay
sshehasasur
pri
sef
orme.
.
Al
ex:
Iwi
shIhadf
ri
endswhocanj
ustsur
pri
se
me
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
dontwor
ry
Her
:notsol
ongagotheonl
yper
sony
ousawas
afr
iendwasTshepi
e..
Me:Tshepi
eismybestf
ri
end.
..Andt
hings
change.
.
Her
:yeah.
.doesTshepi
eusual
l
ytal
kaboutme?
Me:I
'
m notgoingdi
scussmybestf
ri
endwi
th
hi
sgirl
fr
iend.
.
Her
:mxm
Ichuckl
edget
ti
ngi
ntobed
Her
:I
'm goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou,
agai
n
Me:
met
oo,
goodni
ght
Her
:ni
ght
..
AssoonasIcl
osedmyey
es,
Ifel
lasl
eep.
.I
couldhearmyphoneri
ngingbutIwast
oo
drunkinsl
eepbuti
tkeptonri
ngingsowit
hout
l
ookingIanswer
ed..
Me:
mhhm
Cal
l
erI
D:sl
eepi
ngal
ready
?
I
twasBandi
l
esv
oice.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:wakeup
Me:
Ndi
l
eI-
Hi
m:pl
ease
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:got
othebat
hroom andwashy
ourey
es.
.
Me:
Iwannasl
eep
Hi
m:pl
ease
Igroaned,
gotupf rom mybedwithmyeyeshal
f
openandst aggeredtothebat
hroom t
hen
washedmyey es.Iwasfull
yawakebythen.
.
Af
tert
hatIwentbackt
omyr
oom.
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Hi
m:I
'
m her
e,2houseawayf
rom y
our
s
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:Imi
ssedy
ouandI
'
m her
etoseey
ou.
.
Me:
thi
sisabadj
oke
Hi
m:i
tsnoj
oke.
.pl
easecomeout
Me:
arey
ouser
ious?Youar
eher
e?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Itookadeepbr eathbeforesoftl
yshaking
Alex,
shejustdi
dn'twantt owakeupsoIl efther
thenti
ptoedtothesitti
ngr oom,sl
owlyunlocked
thehousethenwentt othegat e,
slowl
ypushed
i
tt oavoi
dnoise,t
helightsofhiscarfl
ashed
onceatme, soIwalkedtohi scarthengotatthe
passengersit
..
Me:
whyar
eyouher
e?
Hi
m:whyar
eyouwhi
sper
ing.
.Younoti
nthe
houseany
mor
e..
Me:
yeah.
.whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Him:yousai
dyouwi
shedIcancomesonowI
'
m
here
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Hi
m:what
?youar
ehappyr
ight
?
Hestar
tedt
ickl
i
ngmet hatIl
aughedsohar
d,my
r
ibswereev
enpainf
ul.
.
Me:
Iam.
.Iam.
.
Hest
opped.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m happyi
fyouar
e
Hesaidkissi
ngmyl i
ps,Icouldn'
tresist,Ihad
missedhim..
hebr okeitaf t
erawhi l
e...He
l
ookedatme, thenIremember edmyhai rmust
belooki
ngmessy ,Ihadr ecentl
yunplaiteditsoi
t
wasjusthorr
ible.
..QuicklyItr
iedfi
xingi twit
h
myhands..
Hechuckl
ed.
.
H:Ist
il
lloveyouwit
hthemessandy
oust
il
ll
ook
Beauti
fuleit
herway.
.
Ibl
ushedl
ooki
ngdownatmyf
inger
s.
Hi
m:y
ouwannacuddl
e?
Me:
i
nthecar
?
Hi
m:no,
i
nyourbed.
.
Me:y
ounotscar
edmymom wi
l
lbur
nyouwi
th
oi
l
?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ltaket
her
isk.
.l
et'
sgo
Hegotoffthecar
,andIknewhewasserious.
.
MomentslaterwewereinAlex'
sroom,
withmy
headonhischest
..
Hi
m:sowheni
sor
ient
ati
on?
Me:
Monday
..
I'
m soexci
ted
Hi
m:y
oushoul
dbe.
.
Me:
wher
eyouexci
tedwheny
ouwentt
ovar
sit
y?
Hi
m:t
obehonestnotr
eal
l
y..
Me:
why
?
Him:If
eltl
ikegoi
ngtouniver
sit
ywasgoingt o
putmyf amil
yinati
ghtsit
uati
on,fi
nanci
all
ythat
i
s..
.bythenweweresti
llstay
inginKZN
Me:
ain'
tyouhappyt
haty
ouwentnow?
Hi
m:no.
.
Hesai
ditsi
mpl
y.
..
Me:wher
edidy
ougetmoneyt
ost
arty
our
company?
Hi
m:Ist
olei
t,
hackedsomer
ichguy
saccount
Me:
youar
eahacker
?
Hi
m:pr
ett
ymuch.
.
Me:sot
hemoneywasenought
obui
l
dsucha
bi
gcompany
?
Hi
m:no,
thenIbombedanATM
Me:
alone?
Hi
m:no.
.
Me:
howol
dwer
eyoubyt
hen?
Hi
m:20
Me:
wer
en'
tyouscar
ed?
Hi
m:i
twasn'
tmyf
ir
stt
imesoIwaschi
l
led.
.
Me:
whatel
sedoy
oudot
hat
sil
l
egal
?
Him:
well
drugs.
.st
eal
car
sanddi
amondsand
gol
d..
Me:
wow!
that
s..
.onl
y?
Hi
m:no,
butt
her
estwi
l
lmakey
ouhat
eme.
.
Me:hat
ey ou?
Idon'tseethathappeni
ng.
.Il
ove
youtoomuch..ev
eni fy
oudontt el
lmeI'
m sur
e
Sam wil
ldothehonours..
Hi
m:humant
raf
fi
cki
ng.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:t
hat
sal
lIdo.
.t
hat
'si
l
legal
,ther
esti
slegal
.
.
Ir
anoutwor
dst
osay
..
.
Me:
thepol
i
ce.
..
Hi
m:I
'
mver
ycar
eful
Me:
Idonthat
eyou
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ad.
.
Me:
wil
lyouev
erst
op?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.f
ory
oumay
be.
.
Ismiled.
..
Iki
ssedhi
m andheki
ssedbackbut
brokeitaf
terawhil
e..
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
met
oo.
.
Hi
m:y
out
oowhat
?
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
ooBandi
l
eThul
ani
Hi
m:good
Hesai
dholdingmet i
ghterwithmyheadsti
llon
hi
schest
.Ifell
asleepl
isteni
ngtohishear
tbeat
onl
ytowakeupi nthemor ni
ngAloneonthe
bed,
hewasgone.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t26
KRI
S
.
.
Mom pai dfort
hel apt
op, andt hatwast hel
ast
gadgetIneededf oruniv
er sit
y.Everythi
ngelse
hadalreadybeenset ,
dadt oldme.ThehouseI
wastost ayinwascompl etelyfurni
shed,dad
haditallcover
edsoIdontst ressov ersome
thi
ngs.ItwasWednesdayandmom was
hel
pingmebuyt helastfewt hingsImay
need,
shehadev entakenadayof fbecauseI
wasgoi ngt obel eavi
ngt omor r
owsot hatIhav
e
enought i
met oex pl
oreJohannesbur g,i
twas
goingt obemyf irstti
mebei nginJohannesbur
g
aloneliket hat,
starti
ngal if
ei nacit
yI
compl etelydon'tknowwasn' tt
hatmuch
excit
ing, okmay beImi ghthav ebeenexcit
eda
fewday sagobutnowt hatitwasact ual
ly
happeni ngal l
myhi ghselfconf i
dencegot
fl
ushedi nthetoilet.
Mom:ist
her
eany
thi
ngel
sey
out
hinky
oumay
need?
Me:
no,
Ithi
nkI
'
m ok.
.
Her:
nowt i
mef oryourhai
r.
.Isti
l
lthinki
twoul
d
havebeenagoodi deaifIescort
edy ou
ther
e_justthatyourfat
hersaidit
snowy our
ti
me,yourmomentbuti twouldhavebeenbett
er
j
usttol eaveyouy ouabitsettl
ed..
Me:Iknowbutmom.
.It
hinki
tsti
meIlearnto
standupandbemyownperson.
.Justtolear
n
theropes.
.
Her
:IknowbutI
'
mjustwor
ri
edbaby
Me:
yeah,
IknowandIwi
l
lcal
lev
erychanceIget
Her :
youmust,
Ihopeyoubehaveyoursel
ft her
e
Kris,
bethegoodgir
lIrai
sed..
knowwhyy ouare
there,
dontl
etboysmisl
eadyou..
youhavea
bri
ghtfutur
eaheadofyou.
.knowy ourmission
Me:
Iknowmom.
.
Her:good, andonemor ething..
Iknowy ouhav e
growni nt oabeaut iful youngwoman, Iknowy ou
aregoi ngt ost artdat ingandal l
butbabypl ease
besaf e..Imayt ellyounott ohav esext odaybut
Iknowy ouar egoi ngt oonewayort heot herso
pleaseal way sbesaf e..Idon'twanty outocome
backwi t
hadegr eecal l
edababy ..
.al
way sbe
safe,pl
ust herear edi seasesoutt hereli
ke
Aids..I
'
m sur ey oudontwantt odependonpi l
ls
forther estofy ourlifeorev enwor sehav e
HIV,thengi vebi rthtoanHI Vbaby ..
be
responsi bleKr i
s..Ihav et aughty oubetter.
.
Me:
yesmom
Her
:good,
plusknowy
ourf
ri
endsv
erywel
l
..
Me:
yesmom
Shethendr ov
emet othesal
oonwer eIpl ai
ted
anotherTwist,
butt histi
mear ounditwasa
purpl
etwistwithabi tofmar oon.Ispentat
l
east3hour satthesal oon,
byt heti
mewegot
outoftheremyl egswer efeelingwobbly.Mom
boughtdebonairpizzasot osav eusthehard
workofcookingdi nner.Gett
inghomeAl exwas
al
readythere,
butwi ththeboy s.
Dy
lan:
goodev
eni
ngmma
Mom:
myboy
s,howar
eyou?
BK:
wear
eawesome.
.
Mom: thatsgr
eat,
andcongr
atul
ati
onsonyour
resul
ts,youboysreal
l
ydidwell
..
youmademea
proudmot her
..
Ant
ony:t
hat
stheonl
yint
ent
ion,
tomakey
ou
pr
oud.
.
Tshepi
e:y
es.
.Sopumpki
nisl
eav
ingt
omor
row?
Mom:yes,I
'
m sostressedri
ghtnow. .
letmego
makeaf ewcal
ls.
.Iboughtpizza.
.Idon'tknowi
f
i
twil
lbeenoughforal lofy
ou..
Tshepi
e:dontwor
rymma,
i
t'
smor
ethan
enough.
.
Mom:
ok.
.
Shewentt
oherr
oom.
Al
ex:
i
sthatal
apt
op?
Me:
yeah.
..
Ineedt
obepr
epar
ed
Tshepie:Iappl
iedatWits.
.I'
m cr
ossi
ngmy
fi
ngersthattheyacceptme..
Ant
ony:andsodi
di,
wit
hinaweekIwi
l
lbe
hav
ingmyaccept
ancelet
ter
.
BK:
met
oo.
.
Dyl
an:I
'm ov
erexci
ted.
.I
'
m goi
ngt
omakesur
eI
rol
lwi
ththebestbi
tch!
BK:
Idontdorol
l
ingwithbit
ches,
Ij
ustf
uckand
moveontothenextbett
erwhore.
.
Ant
ony:y
ouaremanwhor
esmyni
ggas,
no
of
fense.
.mal
esl
uts!
Al
exl
aughed.
.
Al
ex:
aii
guy
smom i
sgoi
ngt
oheary
ou.
.
Dy
lan:
l
et'
stakei
tout
side.
.
Wethenall
wal
kedout
sideandsatatt
he
ver
anda.
Dyl
an:I
'm nomanwhor eormal
esl
ut,
i
t'
sjustt
hat
I
'mtir
edofget t
ingbur
nedever
yti
me,ofgett
ing
myheartbroken..
.i
tst
iri
ng
Antony:
thatswhyI'
m basi
cal
lystayi
ngaway
fr
om rel
ationshi
psatthemoment .
.Butguys
enoughoft heemoti
onaldr
aini
ngtopics.
.
BK:
yeah.
.l
et'
spl
aymypl
ayi
ngcar
ds!
Tshepi
e:goodi
dea.
.
BKtookhiscar
dsf
rom hi
spocketsandwe
st
art
edplayi
ng,
Dyl
anwonthefi
rstgame..
Dy
lan:
Godi
swi
thmet
oday
..
ummhKr
is.
.Tr
uth
ordar
e?
Me:
tr
uth
Dyl
an:asexpected.
..Ok..
nowist
hatguywho
cametopickyouuponMonday ,
theguywho
savedyouthatt
imeatt hepar
tyyourcousi
n?
Ant
onyandBKhadt
hei
rey
esf
ull
cur
iosi
ty,
they
want
edtoknow.
.
BK:butI'
m sur
ecousinsdontt
oucheachot
her
l
ikeyouguy satthat
..
li
kehowyouguyswer
ethe
otherday.
.sotel
lme,i
shereal
lyacousi
nor
?
Dy
lan:
Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
ort
hismoment
..
Il
ookedatTshepi
e,whojustl
ookedbackat
me,whati
fIdaysayyes,
thentheygiv
emethe
samereact
ionIgotf
rom Tshepie?
Al
ex:
butIal
readyt
oldy
ouhe'
sacousi
n..
Dylan:
ifyoudon'
twantt
oanswer
,youknowt
he
consequenceri
ght
?
Ant
ony
:I'
m notgoi
ngt
obepar
tofmet
hisone.
.
BK:
Kri
s?
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroat
,wi
thadr
ymout
h..
Me:he..
.he'
snotacousi
n,orf
ami
l
y..He'
smy
boy
f r
iend..
Isai
dwit
hmyeyesdownonmyl
ap,
Ij
ustdi
dn'
t
wanttor
eadt
hei
rfaces.
Al
ex:
ther
ewego.
.al
lsai
d..Any
onewi
tha
pr
obl
em?
Dylan:Idi
dsuspecthewasyourboyfr
iend,t
he
wayhehandl edKrisatt
hepart
y..
Idon'thav
ea
problem wit
hit
..
.Aslongashedoesn'thurt
you..
becauseifhedoes..
Ant
ony
:wear
egoi
ngt
oshowhi
m
BK:yeah.
..Andwhil
ewest i
llpl
anningthatwe
shouldhavemedicalandfuneral
polici
es
becauseheseemsl i
ke..
.t
het y
petoki l
l
Theybur
sti
ntol
aught
er.
.
Al
ex:
hemi
ghtl
ookScar
rybutKr
issai
dhe'
sthe
ni
cestper
sononear
th.
.
Tshepi
echuckl
ed.
.
Tshepi
e:ni
cest
?pl
ease.
..
hel
ooksangr
y..
Me:
ahhguy
senoughshadesi
nmyboy
fri
end.
.
Dyl
an:let
'smov
einwi
tht
hegame.
..Ist
il
lhav
e
quest
ions..
Wepl
ayedanot
herr
ound,
thi
sti
meI
'
mtheone
whowonit
..
Me:
fi
nal
l
y!
Al
ex:
fort
hef
ir
stt
imeshehaswon.
.
Me:
yeah.
.andAnt
ony
..
Ant
ony
:dar
e!
Me:Idareyouto.
..
ummht owearAlex'
smake
up,
adr esswi
thhil
lsthenwetakey
ouapictur
e
sothatweuploaditonsoci
almedia.
.
Ever
ybodyst
art
edl
aughi
ngwhi
l
ehej
ustl
ooked
atme..
Ant
ony
:youknowwhat
..
thi
swon'
tev
enhur
t
me.
.
Hestoodup,thenpl
acedhishandsi
nthe
pocket
s,t
akingthem outhehad2P50Notes
thenhandedthem t
ome. .
Me:
goodboymygi
rl
Isai
dtaki
ngt
hemoney
..
Ant
ony
:I'
m goi
ngt
ogety
ouf
ort
his.
.
Dy
lan:
thatwast
hebestdar
eIhav
eev
erhear
d..
BK:
ahhAnt
onybruh.
.Youareacowar
d..Ahh.
.I
waswai
ti
ngeagerl
yfort
hatmoment.
.
Ant
ony:I'
m sureyouenjoyi
ngdi
sappoi
ntment
whi
lsti
tssti
llf
resh.
.i
tsuckswhenrot
ten.
.
Me:l
et'
sconti
nue.
.Dy
lanst
il
lhasmor
e
quest
ions.
.
Dy
lanl
aughed.
.
Dyl
an:yeah.
.Iwantt
oaskBKi
fheev
ercr
ushed
onthi
sothergir
l.
.
BK:
youhav
est
art
ed.
.
Tshepi
e:whatwashernameagai
n?
Ant
ony
:Rut
h..
BKwasdat
ingt
hatgi
rlsecr
etl
y.
.
BK:
Rut
hwasj
ustaf
ri
end.
.
Dyl
an:
li
es.
.y
ouwerefucki
ngwi thher.
.y
ouare
t
heonewhobrokehervi
rgi
nit
y..Justadmi
tit
!
Antony
:BK'
ssexgameisonfi
re.
.Hi
sdick
sl
eepsonthechar
ger
..
it
salwaysonablast
..
Wel
aughed.
.
Tshepi
e:BK'
smot
toi
snosexnol
i
fe!
BK:Tyoutheonesay
ingthi
s?br
uhy
oucan'
tbe
gaythenbetel
li
ngmethat.
.
Wel
aughedev
enhar
der
..
Dy
lan:
who'
sgay
?
BK:
Tshepang.
.
Wel
aughedev
enmor
e..
BK:
Andy
ouDy
lan.
.-
Dyl
an:don'
tst
artwi
thme..
Idi
dn'
tsayanyt
hing.
.
Ij
ustwantedt
oknowifyouandRuthever
dat
ed.
.
Ant
ony
:noDy
lan,
yousai
dtheyusedt
ofuck.
.
Dy
lan:
ahhI
'
mthi
rst
y..Any
onewhowant
swat
er?
Hesai dstandingupandwal kingtot hekitchen
l
eav i
ngev eryonei nlaughter.Thef actthatthis
wast helasttimeweev erdi
dt hisleftme
hurti
ng,it
'sfunnyhowmuchcl oserwegot
duri
ngt hi
sshor tperiodofti
me. .
butitwasnev er
l
ikethiswhenwewer estil
latschool ,
yesIknew
Tshepiehadf r
iendsbutInev erreall
yhang
aroundwi ththem t hatmuch, Ialwaysfelt
uncomf ort
ablebutt odayI'
m si ngi
ngadi fferent
story
..
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
.
Mom:
begoodok?
rememberwhatIt
aughty
ou.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
l
Mom:andpl
easetakecar
eofyoursel
f
baby
..
don'
tfor
getyourmi
ssi
on..
Me:
Iwon'
t.
.
Il
ookedatAl
exwhohadhert
ear
sst
reami
ng.
.
Me:
dontcr
y..
.Iwi
l
lbeher
eev
eryhol
i
day
.
Her
:I
'm goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou.
.
Me:
met
oo,
anddontf
orgetwhatIsai
d..
Isai
dpul
l
ingheri
ntoanembr
ace.
.
Me:
youar
etooy
oungf
or?
Shegi
ggl
edabi
t.
.
Her
:f
orsex
..
Me:
good.
.begood
Ipul
l
edout
..
Wewer eatSi
rseretseKhamaai
rpor
tar
ound
1700hrst
hefol
lowingday,mypl
anewas10
minutesf
rom l
eavingandIwasdoi
ngmylast
goodbyes.
.Theboyshadcomewit
husbut
wentbackbecauseappar
ent
lyt
heyhat
e
goodbyesthatmuch.
Al
ex:
sayhi
toBandi
l
eforme.
.
Shewhisperedsof
tl
ymakingsur
ethatmom
doesn'
thearit
..
wegiggl
ed.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
.
Al
ex:
andcal
lme.
.
Me:
numberonepr
ior
it
y
Mom:ok,
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dnowgo..
I'
m goi
ngto
comeaft
eraweek.
.j
ustt
oensur
eyouareok.
.
Me:
ok,
Iwi
l
lbewai
ti
ng.
.
Mom:Iwi
llsendy
ousomemor
emoney
..
incase
youmayneedanythi
ng.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
mom Iwi
l
lbef
ine.
.Ihav
eenoughmoney
..
Mom:no.
.I
'm goi
ngt
osendy oumoremoney.
.
OhGod..
I'
m soworr
ied.
.Acabwil
lbewai
ting
f
oryouwheny
oul
and.
.y
ourdadhasor
gani
zed
t
hat
..
Me:
yout
oldmeal
ready
..
Mom:justensur
ingy
oudontf
orget
..Il
ovey
ou
babyok?
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oomom,
andAl
ex.
.
Mom:okgonow.
.assoonasyoubuyasimcard
cal
lmeorel
seIwil
ltur
ntheci
tybl
ackandblue
Me:
Iwi
l
l,
Ipr
omi
se.
.
Isaidwalki
ngaway .
.Ididn'tt
urn,Iforcedmy sel
f
notto.
.Iknewmom wascr yi
ng,andsowas
I.
.t
hatswhyIcoul dn'tturn.Ij
ustcoul dn'tgi
ve
hertheexpressionthatI '
m notok..Byt hetimeI
wassitti
ngi nt
hepl anemyf acewaswetwi t
h
tear
s.Isatbesidest hi
sot herguywhohadst i
ck
i
nhi sheadphones..Thepl anetookof f
,andI
knewt hi
swasi t.Ij
ustcl osedmyey esand
all
owedmy sel
ftofeel themoment .
"
Goi
ngt
ouni
ver
sit
y?"
Avoi
cesaidmakingmetur
n,i
twast
heguywho
wassi
tt
ingbesi
desme.Imanagedt
ocracka
smal
lsmil
e..
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:met
oobutt
hisi
smyl
asty
ear
..
Me:
fi
rst
..
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:Ifi
guredt
hatout
,t
hewayy
ouwer
ecr
ying
pr
ovedit
..
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
ost
udy
?
Me:
l
aw,
whatar
eyoust
udy
ing?
Hi
m:mechani
cal
engi
neer
ing.
.Byt
hewayI
'
m
MJ
Me:
I'
m Kr
is
Hi
m:sowhi
chuni
ver
sit
yar
eyougoi
ngt
oKr
is?
Me:
UJ
Him:luckyyoubecauseIal sogothere.
.i
t'
sa
verygooduni v
ersit
y..Youjusthavet
oknowy ou
purposethere..
especial
lysincei
t'
syourfi
rst
year.
.
Me:yeahIknow.
.mom coul
dn'
tst
opt
alki
ng
aboutit
..
Hi
m:shesright
..
somepeopletendt
ofor
getwhy
t
heyaretherei
nthefi
rstpl
ace..
Me:
Iwon'
t.
.
Him:good.
.sowhywer
eyoucr
ying?Leav
ing
yourboyfr
iend?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:no,
myfri
endsandfamily
..Myboyfr
iend
st
ayshereact
uall
y.
.InJohannesbur
g
Him:
ohw,y
eahIcanr
elate.
.Icri
edthesecond
weekIf
ir
stcameher
e..t
hef i
rstweekwasok
butt
hesecond.
.
Me:
youmi
ssedhome?
Hi
m: y
eah..
butI
'
m sur
eyourboy
fri
endwi
l
lbe
t
here.
.atl
easti
twon'
tbet
hatmuchbad.
.
Me:y
eah..
Ican'
twai
ttoseehi
m..ev
enthoughI
sawhim onMondaybutIj
ust
..
missedhi
m..
Him:youseem tol
ovehi
m,Icanjustseehow
youreyesli
ghtupwhenyoustar
ttal
kingabout
him..
he'
slucky.
.
Me:
I'
mthel
uckyone.
.
Aft
erawhi lethepl anewasl anding.Igotof fthe
pl
anestil
ltalki
ngwi t
hMJ, heseemedl ikeani ce
guy.
.Hehel pedmewi t
hmysui tcases,together
wit
hhisov ernightbag.Wewal kedt othe
wait
ingarea,andt hereIsawmynameonsome
pri
ntedpaper .
.Ifi
gur editwast het axi
guy .
.
MJ:
yourcab?
Me:
yeahIguess.
.
MJ:
Iwoul
dhav
ejustgi
veny
oual
i
ft.
.buti
tsok
Wegott
otheguywhohadmyname.
.
Guy
:Kr
ist
inMacv
erdana?
Me:
yes.
.
Guy
:MrMacv er
danat
oldmeIshoul
ddr
opy
ou
byyourf
lat
..
Me:
yes
MJ:
so..
okletmegivey
oumynumber
..May
be
wecanalwayscat
chup..
Me:gr
eati
dea.
.butIdonthav
easi
m car
dher
e
yet
Hi
m: i
tsok.
.l
etmegiv
eyoumi
ne,
I
'm sur
eyou
wi
llgi
vemear ing
Hegavemehisnumber
,thent
hecabdri
ver
hel
pedwit
hmybagsasMJwentaway .Wegot
out
sidet
othecab.
Me:
Ineedt
obuyanewsi
m car
d
Hi
m:Yesmam,
Iwi
l
ldr
ivey
out
otheshops.
Me:
Kri
spl
ease.
.
Hi
m:y
esma.
..
yesKr
is
Ichuckl
edget ti
ngatthebackseatofthecar.
Moment slaterwewer edr
ivi
ngalongtheci
ty,I
j
ustcouldn'tgetenoughoftheci
ty.Hedroveto
thi
sothermal l
..
Hi
m:Letusgoandbuyy
oursi
m car
dKr
isMam
Ilaughedget
ti
ngoffthecar.Heledmetothi
s
othershopwereIboughtasim cardt
henaft
er
thatweresumedwithourjourney.
Me:
areweal
mostt
her
e?
Hi
m:y
esKr
isMam.
Ijustshookmyhead, i
twasalreadydar kandt he
tr
afficl
ightsweresobr i
ghtmakingitpossible
toseecl ear
ly.Iwaswideawakeunt i
l heparked
atthisfl
ats,
theywereli
keabigbuildingwith
fl
atsIguess.
Me:
i
sthi
swer
emyf
lati
s?
Him:
y es,7t
hfl
ooractual
l
y ,eachflati
sa3
bedr
oom each,aki
tchen,andsitt
ingroom and
onetoil
et.
Me:
howdoy
ouknowal
lthi
s?
Him:Ihadtodomyr esear
ch,
MrMacv er
dana
paidmet oansweral
lyourquest
ions.Andohh
thereisonebi
gswimmi ngpoolt
haty ouwil
lbe
sharing
Me:
howmanyf
lat
sar
eher
e?
Hi
m:notsur
ebutal
ot.
Inodded.
Hi
m:i
twil
ltakeabout2hoursforyoursi
m car
d
t
oact
ivat
ef ul
l
ytoeveryser
vice.
Hesaidaswegotoutofthecar.Hewentt
othe
bootandt
ookal
lmysuitcases.
Me:
needhel
p?
Hi
m:no,
I
'm ok.
.
Hedraggedmybagsinsi
de,wegotinthelif
t
whichl
edustothe7nthf
loor
.Heledmet omy
f
latunt
ilwest
oppedatsomedoor.Flat34.
Hi
m:andwear
eher
e..
Me:
ain'
tyougoi
ngt
ounl
ockorsomet
hing?
Hi
m:y
ourr
oommat
ehasbot
hthekey
s.
Me:
ok
Him:cal
lme,incaseyouneedany
thi
ng.
.Iwi
llbe
atyourservi
ce.
.I'
m pai
dtodoso,sopl
ease
donthesit
ate.
Hesai
dknocki
ngwithhisot
herhandasthe
ot
hergav
eabusinesscardwit
hhisnumber.
Aft
erawhil
eIcouldhearmov ement'
sonthe
door,
andIr
ecei
vedthebestshockofmylife.
Myheartl
it
eral
l
yjumped,Ievenlostt
hevoiceto
scr
eam..
Her
:sur
pri
se!
Me:
Leah?
Her
:ar
eyouj
ustgoi
ngt
ost
andt
her
e?
Iwal
kedtowar
dsherandhuggedhersot
ight
,I
j
ustcoul
dn'
tbel
iev
eit
..
Me:
Ican'
tbel
i
evei
t.
.whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Shoul
dn'
tyoubei
nAust
ral
i
a?
Her:
wel
l.
.Ishoul
dbebutI
'
m her
eandIwil
lbe
her
eforav er
ylongt
imei
fyouar
eher
e..
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Her
:I
'm wi
l
lbeschool
i
ngatUJ.
.
Shesai
djumpi
ngupanddown.
Me:
youar
ejoki
ng?
Her
:deadser
ious.
.
Ihuggedheragai
n..
Me:ohMyGod.
.t
hisi
sthebestsur
pri
seIhav
e
ev
ergot.
.
Her
:I'
m soexci
ted.
.Tooexci
tedt
ost
artt
his
j
our
neywithyou..
Imissedy
ou
Me:
Imi
ssedy
oumor
e..
soy
ourAuntknows?
Her
:yeah,
eveny
ourmom anddad.
.
Me:
I'
m sohappy
..
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evei
t.
.
Il
ookedatt
hecabguywhowasst
il
lst
andi
ng
t
her
e..
Me:
ummhLeahthi
sisthecabdr i
vert
hattook
mefr
om t
heai
rpor
t.
.butIdontknowhisname..
Hi
m:I
'
m Joseph
Me: y
eaht
hisi
sJosephandJosepht
hisi
s
Leah..
myf
ri
end.
.
Hi
m:ni
cemeet
ingy
ouMi
ssLeah
Leah:
l
ikewi
se..Iwast
hinki
ngt
hatt
omor
rowwe
vi
ewthisci
ty.
..
Me:
yeah.
.def
inat
ly.
.whendi
dyouar
ri
ve?
Her
:yest
erday
..Iwasj
ustwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
.
Me:
I'
m sohappy
Her
:met
oo.
.
Me:
howi
sthef
lat
?
Her:
it
sbeaut
iful
.
.Thoughwedonthav
e
separ
atebat
hrooms..
Bef
oreIcoul
dtal
kJosephcl
ear
edhi
sthr
oat
.I
l
aughedasIl
ookedathi
m
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Him:
it
sok,
ther
eisonemor
ethi
ngIshoul
d
showyou.
.
Me:
oh,
l
etmeputt
hisbagsi
nsi
de.
.
Leahhelpedmepushmybagsi nsi
dethen
l
ockedthedoorandfol
lowedJoseph.Wewent
downstair
stot
hegarage..Aswegotther
ehe
l
edust oaAudi Rs7wit
hRebons.
Joseph:
andt
hisIbel
i
evei
tsy
our
sKr
isMam.
.
Me:
what
?
Leah:
THI
SISYOURS!
Shescr
eamedmaki
ngmej
oinher
Me:
ohJesus.
.Ican'
tbel
i
evet
his
Her
:wel
lyoubet
ter
..
.
Me:
weshoul
dtakei
tforaspi
n..
Her
:Iagr
ee.
.
Joseph:
andher
ear
ethekey
s..
Hesai
dgi
vi
ngmet
hekey
s..
Hi
m:incaseyouwanttoex pl
orepl
easecal
l
me.
.Iwil
lbeatyourser
vice..
Me:
ok
Hi
m:andmywor
kher
eisdone.
.Hav
egood
ev
eni
ng
Hesaidwalkingout.
.MeandLeahr
ippedthe
ri
bbonsof
ft hecar,
butt
her
ewasacar d.It
ooki
t
andreadi
t.
"
From mom andDad
Sinceyouhavegrownupi ntoawonder f
ul
younglady,
thi
scarisforyou,f
orthesuccess
youhav ebeenachi
ev i
ngsincebir
th.Bei
ngKris
meansal otandallhopei
sgi venuntoyouto
discov
erwhoKr i
sis..
Wi
thl
ove
Mom andDad"
LeahandIthenwentintothecarafterr
eading
thewonderf
ulmessage.Istar
tedthecarand
rever
sedoutoft
hegar age,
outtothegatethen
wewer ei
nthestr
eet.Thecarwasj ust
smooth..
andIl
ovedit.
.
Leah:
thi
sist
her
eal
deal
Me:
Ican'
tagreemor
e..
letmedr
ivebackbef
ore
wegetl
ost.
Idr
ovet hecarbackintothegarage,l
ockedthen
wewentbackt oourfl
at.IputonthenewSi m
car
donmyphonebef oreLeahhelpedmemov e
mythingst omyroom andpackt hennicely.
Aft
er2hour sorsomyr oom wasper f
ectl
y
madeandmysi m cardwasact i
vated.Thefir
st
per
sonIcal ledwasNdilewithmynewnumber .
Hedidn'tanswerthefi
rstti
mebutt hesecond
heanswer ed.
Hi
m:y
eah?
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroatabi
t.
.
Me:
Ist
hisBandi
l
eThul
ani
?
Hi
m:andwho.
.-
Hestoppedal
ongwayandchuckl
edmaki
ngme
t
olaugh..
Hi
m:andwhoi
sthi
s?
Me:
thi
sis.
.ummhyourl
unat
icgi
rl
fr
iendwant
s
t
ospeakwithy
ou.
.
Hi
m:ohw,
wel
landsodoI
..
Igi
ggl
ed
Me:
shoul
dIgi
vehert
hephone
Hi
m:ohwwi
thpl
easur
eMr
sThul
ani
Igi
ggl
edmor
easmyf
acet
urnedr
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m set
tl
ed.
.
Hi
m:wher
ear
eyoust
ayi
ng?
Me:
Idontknow.
.
Hechuckl
edagai
n..
Hi
m:ok.
.sohowar
eyouf
indi
ngJohannesbur
g?
Me:
pret
tyawesome
Him:
youhaven'
tseennon.
.I
'
myetgoi
ngt
o
showyou.
.
Me:
I'
m sur
e..
whenam Igoi
ngt
oseey
ou?
Hi
m:howaboutt
oday
?
Me:
buty
oudon'
tknowwher
eIst
ay.
.
Him:Iwon'
tbetoosur
eifIwereyou,butI'
m
havi
ngabraaiwit
hmyf r
iends.
.It
hinkitsa
goodideayoucome..
Me:
i
tsl
ate
Hi
m:i
tsj
ustar
ound2000hr
s..
please.
.
Me:
Ihav
eaf
ri
end,
Leah
Hi
m:f
rom st
ates?
Me:
yes,
iwasassur
pri
sed.
.
Hi
m:bot
hofy
oucanst
il
lcome
Me:
ummhok
Hi
m:y
eahpl
ust
hiswi
l
lsav
eyout
hewor
kof
cooki
ng.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:pl
usImi
ssy
ou.
.
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oo
Hi
m:ok,
Iwi
l
lbet
her
ein20mi
nut
es.
.
Me:
ummho-
kay
Hi
m:y
eahIl
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Het
henhungup,
Leahhadherey
esonme.
.
Her
:wear
egoi
ngsomewher
e?
Me:seemsli
kei
t..
Bandil
esay
she'
shav
inga
br
aai wi
thhi
sfr
iends.
.
Her
:ok.
.shoul
dwechange?
Il
ookedatmysel
f,
iwasst
il
li
nmyj
eansandT-
shi
rtIcamewear
ing.
.
Me:Idontknow,
butIshoul
dpr
obabl
ytakea
shower.
.
Leah:
met
oobutst
art
Iwalkedtothebathroom,tookaqui ckwarm
soothi
ngshower .Aft
erbathing,Leahal sogotin
tobath.Ichangedintoaskinjean,at opwitha
basketballj
acketwit
hconv erse.Afterawhi l
e
Leahgotoutwear i
ngaMi dt highblack
dress,
withsomesandalsandal eatherjacket
..
Her
:wegood?
Me:
yeah.
.
Wesatdownandstar
tedwatchi
ngTv
.We
hear
daknockatar
ound2050hrs.
Me:
mustbehi
m
Isai
dstandi
ngup,
openi
ngthedoortherehe
was,
looki
nghotasal
ways.I
nvol
untaryIsmil
ed.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryI
'
mlat
e?
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
youar
efor
giv
en.
.
Hi
m:Iwashoppi
ngy
ousayt
hat
..
Ibl
ushedashet
ookast
epcl
osert
ome.
.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:
thanks.
.
Hi
m:andImi
ssedy
ou
Hesai dt
aki
nganotherst
ep,andputti
nghis
handsmywai stpul
li
ngmecl osert
ohimint he
process,
mybreathi
nghit
chedasIf el
thi
s
musclesagai
nstmybodymaki ngmeshiver
..
Hi
m:y
ouar
esoshor
t.
.
If
rowned.
.
Hi
m:andi
t'
scut
e..
Ibur
iedmyfaceonhischest.Hehuggedme
ti
ght
lyasIi
nhal
edhisint
oxicati
ngCologne.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
out
oo.
.
Him:
welly
ouareher
enow,whoknowswhatwe
cando.
.wecandowonder
s..
Igi
ggl
ed.
.
Me:
wannacomei
n?
Isai
drai
singmyheadt
oseehi
m
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hegoti
naf
terme.
.Leahst
oodupasshesaw
us.
.
Hi
m:notbad
Me:yeah..
ummhLeahthi
sismyboyfri
end
Bandil
e,babet
hisi
smyfr
iendLeah.
.
Leah:
it
snicet
omeety
ou,
Ihav
ehear
dal
ot
aboutyou
Bandi
l
e:badt
hings?
Leah:
goodobv
iousl
y
Bandi
l
e:good.
.ummhy
ouguy
sready
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Bandi
l
e:l
et'
sgo
Wewalkedoutbehi
ndhi
m,andLeahl
ockedthe
door
.Wewenttothegar
ageandheledustoa
Mer
cedesAMGC635.
Me:
Wow!
Hi
m:l
et'
sgeti
n
Hesai
dopeningthefrontseatforme.Igoti n
whi
leLeahgotinthebackseat.AsBandilewas
goi
ngtohisseatLeahstart
edwhi sper
ing..
Her
:j
eez,
Ial
mostpeedonmypant
s..
hel
ooks
mean
Il
aughedashegoti nthecar .
.Hestartedthe
carandr ever
sedout ,
hedrovestr
aighttothe
househeoncet ookmebutonl ythisti
meI
couldn'tseeitquitewellasitwasdark.Hegot
i
nsidet hey ar
d,andIgotseepeopl e,t
hey
weren'tal otthough.Icoul
dseet hebrasistand
andabi toffi
re..
Hi
m:andwear
eher
e
Me:
ok
Wegotof
fthecar
,andheledustohisfr
iends,
aswewereget
ti
ngcloserIcoul
deasi
lyi
dentif
y
Seth.Fi
nal
l
ywegott
othem andt
heyal
ll
ooked
atusmakingmeabutscar
ed.
Bandil
e:andthi
sisher
,mywomanwi
thher
fr
iendLeah..
Set
h:Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evet
hisi
shappeni
ng.
.
"
Metoo"anotherguysai
d..
hel
ookedabi
t
f
ami
l
iar,Ij
ustwonderwereIsawhim.
.
Bandil
e:wel
li
tisummhbabeandLeaht hisi
s
Quincyovert
herebutwecallhi
m Q,
that
s
Senzeni
,Max,Set
h,Kagi
sobutwecal
lhim KG
andlastl
ywehav eThori
so.
Max:andagai
nIsayi
t,
She'
swayoutofy
our
l
eague..Sohot
!
KG:
Iagr
ee.
.she'
sfr
eaki
nghot
..
Q:
event
hef
ri
end.
.
ThisQguycametowardsusandst
rai
ghtt
o
Leahwholookedatmewitht
he"dosomet
hing"
eyes.
Q:
hi,
I
'm Qui
ncyZendi
l
eyouar
e?
Leah:
LeahMel
ah
QkissedLeah'
shand,
Leahseemedt
ohav
e
r
elaxedabit.
Bandil
e:ummht hegir
lsareinsi
dether
e..
.j
ustKG
andSeth'sgir
lf
ri
ends,
thentheotheroneshes
Senzeni
'sfri
endorsohesay sandanothergir
l
whoisKG' sgir
lf
ri
endfri
end..
Theguy
sbur
sti
ntol
aught
er.
.
Me:
meandLeah.
.wewi
l
lgoi
nsi
de.
.
Wewal kedt ot hehouseafterBandilekissedmy
forehead.Get t
inginsidewewentt otheki t
chen
wer ewecoul dhearl aught
erwascomi ngfrom.
Get t
ingt here,
therewer ebi
ggirl
s..Idontknowi f
i
tsbecauseI '
m shortorwhatbutt heylooked
big.Ifeltinstantl
yuncomf ort
able.
.Oneoft hem
turned..
Her
:ohhi
..
Leah:
hey
Theyal
ltur
ned.
.
Her:
ummhI '
m Karabo,andthi
sisThat
oand
Thabisobutwecal lherThabiandl
ast
lyt
hisi
s
Lesedi.
.whoareyouguy s?
Leah:
I'
m Leah,
thi
sKr
ist
inbutwecal
lherKr
is.
.
Thabi
:
she'
sthef
amousKr
is?
Kar
abo:
seemsl
i
kei
t.
.shespr
ett
y..
That
o:y
eah
Lesedi
:butshesaki
d
Kar
abo:
shesj
ustshor
t.
.y
ouguy
sfeel
free.
.
Thabi:
feelf
ree?Thi
sispr
act
ical
l
yKri
s's
ki
tchen..
shestheonewhohastotel
lustof
eel
fr
ee..
Weal
ll
aughed.
..
Lesedi
:sohowol
dar
eyouKr
is?
Me:
18goi
ngt
o19
Lesedi
:
andt
her
ewehav
eit
..
Thank:
aii
Lesedi
Man!anywaywewerej
ust
makingsomesaladsanddeser
ts.
.
Leah:
ohw,
wanthel
p?
Kar
abo:
I'
m sur
ewecanal
luseahand.
.
West art
edhel pi
ngthem out .
.Ever
yoneof
them wasj ustok..wellLesediseemedtohave
anat t
it
ude, butnottheIhat eyoutypeof
atti
tude.
.Itseemedl i
keshewasl i
kethatwi
th
everyone..Aftermakingal lt
heextraf
oodswe
wentout sidewer etheguy swere..
Bandi
l
e:and?
Hewhi
sper
edt
omepul
l
ingmecl
osert
ohi
m..
Me:
theyar
eok.
.butbi
g..
biggert
hanme
Hi
m:i
tsj
ustt
hehei
ght
..
theyar
enott
hatbi
g
Me:
tr
yingt
omakemef
eel
bet
ter
?
Hi
m:j
ustst
ati
ngt
hef
act
s
Hesai
dpul
li
ngmeinforaki
ss,
adeepkisst
hat
gotmewet
..West
oppedasweheardsome
fewcompl ainsf ol
lowedbyl aughter.
.Aswe
werestillt
here,someRanger overdrovei
n,a
brownr anger over,
itwassobeaut if
ul.
Every
body '
sat tentionwasfixedont hecarbut
thepersonwast aki ngl
ong.Isuspecteditwas
oneofBandi lesf r
iends.
Me:ummhbabel
etmegocal
lmyMom.
.j
ustt
o
l
etherknowI
'
m saf
e..
Bandi
l
e:ok,
cal
li
fyouneedany
thi
ng
Me:
ok
Igotoutofhi
sembr aceleavingthepersonst
il
l
i
nt hecar.
Iwenttohi
ssitti
ngr oom and
punchedmom' snumber.Itrangforawhi l
e
beforebei
nganswered.
.
Her
:Thompsonspeaki
nghel
l
o?
Me:
mom
Her
:Kr
isbaby,
arr
ivedwel
l
?Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ng
f
oryourcal
l.
..
Me:
I'
m sor
rywasset
tl
ingi
n..
Her
:i
tsok,
howi
sit
?
Me:sti
l
l ok.
.t
hankyouf
ort
hecar
..
.andLeah,
why
di
dn'tyoutellme?
Her:
itwasmear
ntt
obeasur
pri
se,
butar
eyou
happy?
Me:mor
ethanany
thi
ng.
.Iwi
l
lcal
lyout
omor
row
ok?
Her
:ok,
Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
ThenIhungup, Iwal kedoutsmi lingbutmy
smileseizedasIsawBandi l
esar mswr apped
aroundsomegi r
l,
almostast al
lashei sbutwi t
h
theheelslookedhishei ght,hadt heperfect
body,bugassandwasbeaut if
ul..Shewasj ust
fl
awless..Theywer ehuggi ng,Itookadeep
breathbeforewalkingupt ot hem.Ist oodthere
withThabi,shestheonl yonewhowasal oneas
theresthadal l
ocatedt hemselvesi ncouples,
evenLeah,shewaswi t
hQ.Theypul ledapart
af
terawhi
l
e.
Thabi
:
andt
hat
sNi
cky
,orNi
col
e
Me:
ohw.
.
Thank:
yeah.
.
Shestartedt al
ki
ngaboutsomethi
ngbutI
wasn'tl
isteningtoher
,myeyeswereonBandi
l
e
andthisNi ckygir
l.
.
Me:
who'
sshet
ohi
m?
If
inal
l
yasked.
.
Thank:
exf
iancé,
thi
ngswer
eser
iousbet
ween
them..
Sot hi
sisher ,
Ijustnoddedtryi
ngt odealaway
withthepai nIwasst arti
ngtofeel."
whatar
ey ou
doing?Itsnotlikehe'scheati
ng"my
subconsciousscr eamedatme. ."somuchf or
tr
ust"myi nnerselfscreamed.
.It ookadeep
breath,aft
erallhe'snotcheati
ng..Moment s
l
atershewast alki
ngt oQandSenzeni ,
thenoff
shewentt ohercaranddr oveaway .Theway
shewal ksdrewattentionfrom al
l Angles,
somet hi
ngIcouldn'tev endoinmydr eam..I
chuckledabit.
Bandilesey essearchedar ound
unti
ltheystuckonmi ne,Il
etminef al
laftera
whil
e..
Thabu:t
hewayhelooksatyou,
henev
erl
ooked
atanyonel
i
kethat
..ev
enNicky.
.
Me:
shespr
ett
y
Thabi
:
what
?youar
epr
ett
ierandsexi
er.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
stopt
ryi
ngt
omakemef
eel
bet
ter
..
Her
:what?i
tst
hetrut
h..
youaresmokinghotand
socute.
.y
ouarehott
erthanNicky
..
anywaywant
i
cecream?
Me:
no,
I
'm good
Her
:youhav
en'
teat
enany
thi
ng.
.
Me:
I'
m nothungr
y..
Shewal
kedawayt
otal
l
yignor
ingme,
aft
era
whileshewaswi t
hBandil
e.Ididn'
tpaymuch
att
entiontothem.
.Ij
ustwalkedtohispooland
satdown..whatoneart
hwashi sExfiancée
doinghere?
Whywasheev enhuggingher?"youhugged
Venus"mysubconsciousagai n
scr
eamed.ok..
may befairbut.
..
but.
.mymind
camebacktoear t
hwhenIf el
thandssneaki
ng
onmywai st
..
.Ilookedbesidesmeandi twas
Bandi
le.
.
Him: Idon'tknowwhaty ouar ethinking,
but
pleasewhi l
ey ouarest i
llatitdontf orgetIlove
you,Ihav enev erl
ov edany onelikeIl ove
you,whilsty ousti
l
l atitdontf orgeti havefall
en
deepf ory ou,moret hanIev erimagi ned..
know
thatIlovey oubey ondany t
hingonear th..
know
youar emyl if
e,mysmi leev erymor ning..Dont
forgetthat,knowthatI '
m wi ll
ingtodi eforyou..I
l
ov ey ousomuchKr i
sti
n
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hi
m:nowpl
easeeat
..
.Idontwanty
oust
arv
ing,
ev
er.
.
Ichuckl
edt
aki
ngt
hef
oodhewashol
ding.
.
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
ti
nvi
teher
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:eat
Iat
eabi
t,
for
cingf
oodt
hrough.
Hi
m:t
hat
'sal
lyouar
egoi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ynothungr
y..
Hetookt
hepl
armt
eandplaceditasideashe
mademelaymyheadonhisshoulderandsand
sof
tl
y.
"
Hear
tbeat
sfast
Col
orsandpr
omi
ses
Howt
obebr
ave?
HowcanIl
ovewhenI
'
m af
rai
dtof
all
?
Butwat
chi
ngy
oust
andal
one,
Al
lofmydoubtsuddenl
ygoesawaysomehow.
Onest
epcl
oser
Ihav
edi
edev
erydaywai
ti
ngf
ory
ou
Dar
li
ng,
don'
tbeaf
rai
dIhav
elov
edy
ou
Forat
housandy
ear
s
I
'
lll
ovey
ouf
orat
housandmor
e
Ti
mest
andsst
il
l
Beaut
yinal
lshei
s
Iwi
l
lbebr
ave
Iwi
l
lnotl
etany
thi
ngt
akeaway
What
'sst
andi
ngi
nfr
ontofme
Ev
erybr
eat
h
Ev
eryhourhascomet
othi
s
Onest
epcl
oser
Ihav
edi
edev
erydaywai
ti
ngf
ory
ou
Dar
li
ng,
don'
tbeaf
rai
dIhav
elov
edy
ou
Forat
housandy
ear
s
I
'
lll
ovey
ouf
orat
housandmor
e"
Aft
erawhi
leIwasquite,l
i
steni
ngt
othewi
nd
asitbl
ewr
ightpastus.
.
Hi
m:nev
erknewy
ouwer
eagoodsi
nger
..
Me:
nev
erknewei
ther
..
.
Hechuckl
ed,
Hi
m:wannasl
eep?
Me:
yeah.
.I
'
m exhaust
ed.
.
Hestoodupthenpi
ckedmeup,Iwasgiggl
i
ng
al
lthewayaswewalked,
orashewalkedback
wi
thmei nhi
sarms..
Wegott
ocr
owd.
.
Bandi
l
e:wi
feyi
sti
red.
..
shewant
stosl
eep
Thabi
:
ifIwasy ou,
Iwouldwifeher
i
mmedi at
ely
,shesforkeeps.
.
Igi
ggl
edsof
tl
y
Bandi
l
e:t
hat
sthepl
an
Moment slaterev ery
onewasl eavi
ng.
.Bandi l
e
putmedownashewal kedhi
sfri
endsout
toget
herwi t
ht heirgir
ls..MeandThabi
exchangednumber s.MeandLeahputt herest
oftheplatesinsidethehouse,washedthem
withthedishwashermachi ne.
Itwasfastusing
amachi ne..
.Bandilewalkedinaft
erawhi l
e..
Him:youguy
sshoul
dn'
thav
e,t
her
e'sacl
eaner
butanywaycome
Hwledusupst
air
s,west
oppedatt
hisot
her
r
oom..
Hi
m:ummhLeahy
ouwi
l
lsl
eepher
e
Her
:ok,
thanky
ou
Hi
m:cool
..
Wewal kedagai
ntot hisotherr
oom,
sobigand
beauti
ful
,andever
ythingtoowaswhite.
..
he'
s
Colognefi
ll
edtheroom. .
Hi
m:andt
hisi
sourr
oom
Me:
i
tsbeaut
if
ul.
.
Hetookof
fhi
sT-
shi
rt
,thi
sni
ggaher
eisf
ineas
hel
l
.
Hi
m:wannashowerwi
thme?
Igi
ggl
edshy
ly.
.
Me:
whynot
?
Hegotuptomeandpi ckedmeupmaki ngme
wrapmylegsonHiswaist,
hekissedmeashe
l
edmet othebat
hroom wit
hclothesf
lyi
ng
down.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
**
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t27
KRI
S
.
.

Icoul df eelbrightlightpiecingt hroughmy

ski n,
veryst r
ongbr ightli
ghtt hatawokenme
from myv eryrelaxedsl eep.Isl owlyopenedmy
ey esandIgotwel comedbyt hebr i
ghtli
ght .I
blinkedacoupl eoft imessomyey esadapt ,a
smi l
equi ckl
yappear edonmyf acebutslowl y
fadedwhenIl ookedbesi desmeandIr eali
zedit
wasonl ymeandt hebr i
ghtl i
ghtal oneinthe
room.Hewasn' tnextt omeandi hatedit.Last
nightwasper fect,asalway s,
thewayhe
touchedmeandmadel ov etomewasj ust
per fect.Igotupf rom thebed, pi
ckeduphi s
Tshi rtthatwasont hef l
oorbutonl ymanaged
tocov ermybut tabi tandwentt othe
bat hroom. Ianaly zedmy selfont hemi rr
or,Ihad
af ewhi ckeysonmyneckdownt omybr east
buti twasn' tthatmuch.It ookhi stoothbrush
andbrushedmyt eeth.Aft
erawhil
eIwalked
outofthebathr
oom t henwentdownstai
rs.I
l
eanedont heki
tchendoorasIwat chedhim
cookandtalkoverthephone.Thewayhewas
j
ustdoingitwasextrasexy.

Him:yes..
no,
l
et '
sdoi tthewayweal way sdoit,
I
can'
triskanythingbecausef orallIknowi t
mightallgowr ong..Iknow,t
hatswhyI '
m goi
ng
tosomebusi nessev entst
andinginformy
companyt oatl eastdrawlessattentionon..
-

Hestoppedtal
ki
ngturningtome,hesmil
edand
Icoul
dn'
thelpi
tbuttosmi l
eback,hi
sey
esheld
menotlett
ingmegol eavi
ngacoldwavev i
sit
myskinmakingmeshi ver
.

Him:
Iwil
lcal
lyoul
aterbutmakesur
ethe
Jamai
cadealgoeswell
..
Thenhehungupwal
ki
ngt owardsme, l
eavi
ng
whatev
ert
hathewascookingalone.Hishands
wentdowntomyhi
psbringingmecl osert
ohim.

Hi
m:Ir
eal
l
ythi
nkt
hatT-
shi
rtsui
tsy
oubest
..
.

Me:
Ireal
l
ythi
nknextt
imey oust
ayi
nbedwit
h
me,
youareal
waysnotther
ewhenIwakeup.
.

Hi
m:yourwi
shi
smycommand,
howwasy
our
sl
eep?

Me:
per
fect
..

Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Inoddedy
es.
.

Hebr oughthi slipstomi negent lyf orcinghi s

toungebet weenmyl ips,histounget entativel
y
massagedmi neunt i
lthet oungeswer emov i
ng
i
ntoasi milarmot i
on.Igr oanedagai nsthis
l
ips,pul
li
nghi m muchcl oserbyhi sT- shirt
,
togethergrippingoni ttoav oidmy selff r
om
fal
li
ngasHi skissbr oughtweaknesst omy
knees.Hesl ight l
ymov edt heot hersi deai ming
foramuchdeeperki ssandIf ollowedhi slead
alr
eadyf eeli
ngwet ,
hishandt r
av el
leddown
undermyT- shirtIwaswear ingandst r
aightto
bareass.Hegr oanedbi tingmyl owerl ipsof tl
y
maki nganinv oluntarymoar nt oescapemyl ips
beforepulli
ngoutbuthi shandsst i
llremai ned
onmyass.Hel ookedatmeasIcaughtmy
breath.

Hi
m:whatawayt
ost
artawonder
ful
mor
ning.
.
Igi
ggl
edonhi
schest
..

Him:andthereasonwhyy
ouain'twear
ingy
our
panti
es?doyouknowIcanlayyouonthefl
oor
ri
ghtnow?

Me:
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
nd.
..
butsomet
hingi
sbur
ning.
.

Isai
dsni
ff
ingar
oundt
heai
rar
oundme.

Hi
m:shi
t!

Hesaidreleasi
ngmet hengoi
ngbacktohi
s
al
readyburningpot.Heimmedi
atel
ytookt
he
potandplacedinthesink.
.
Hi
m:wel
lthatwast
hebr
eakf
ast
..

Me:
nextt
imer
ight
?

Hi
m:yeah.
.butt
her
eis..
.i
nst
antporr
idgeify
ou
wantorwecanalwayscooktoget
her..

Hesai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsmeagai
n..

Me:thatwoul
dn'
tbesobad,
butIneedt
ogo
bat
h..

Hi
m:met
oo,
l
et'
sgo

Hesai
dpushi
ngmet
ohi
sroom bymywai
st.
.

Hi
m:weshoul
dputy
ouonsomecont
racept
ion
met
hodbabe.
.

Me:yeah,
Idon'
twanttofal
lpr
egnantand
yest
erdayyoudidn'
tuseacondom

Hi
m: Iwi
llgetyouamor ningafter,
doy our
r
esearchonwhi chcontracepti
ont ousethenwe
wi
lldoitbutIhatecondom. .
sopl easedont
makemeusei t,
especi
all
ywi t
hy ou..

Hesai
daswest
eppedi
nhi
sroom.
.

Me:
why
?

Him:
youaremine,
whyshouldIusepr
otect
ion
l
ikeI
'
mj ustsomeotherdude?
Me:
ok.
.

Wet ookaquickshower ,notthati twas

i
nnocentbutnothingextremel yhappened.Af ter
bat
hingIworemypr evi
ouscl othes, whil
ehe
woresomebl uetrackpants,abl uej acketwit
h
whi
tesneakers.Iwasseat ingbyt hebed
watchinghi
m dressupasIwasal readydone.
He'
sey esmetmi neashewascombi nghis
mohok.Hekepthi sStarrunti
l Iletmyey esf
all
tomyl ap.

Hi
m:whatar
eyourpl
ansf
ort
heday
?

Me:
takeal
ookatt
heci
tywi
thmynewcar
..

Hi
m:newcar
?
Me:
mypar
ent
sboughtmeacar
..
Rs7

Hi
m:t
hat
'sni
ce.
.or
ient
ati
on?

Me:
Wednesday

Hi
m:ok.
.l
et'
sgo

Hesaidhel
pingmestand.Gett
ingdownst
airs
wefoundLeahsit
ti
ngbythekitchenst
oolbusy
onherphonesmil
ingashell
.

Me:
mor
ning.
.

Shet
urnedandl
ookedatus.
.

Her
:mor
ning.
.
Bandi
l
esphonest
art
edr
ingi
ng.
.

Hi
m:y
ougi
rl
swi
l
lhav
etoexcuseme.
.

Hesai
dwal
ki
ngawaywi
thhi
sphone.
.

Leah:
youl
ookhappy
..

Me:y
ouaret
hehappyone,
whogoty
ousmi
l
ing
l
iket
hat
?

Shegi
ggl
edshy
ly.
.

Her
:soQ.
.
Me:
Q?.
.ohw,
thatguyy
ouwer
ewi
thy
est
erday
..

Her
:yeah.
.Il
i
kehi
m..

Me:
I'
m happyf
ory
ou.
.

Her
:yeah.
.buthesmell
s"Fuckboy"incapit
al
l
ett
ers.
.Ifeell
ikeatt
heendofitall
Iwillbe
hur
t.
.

Me:maybeseti
toutt
ohi
mthaty
ouwant
ser
iousthi
ngs.
.

Her:
yeah.
.butany
waywhowast
hatgi
rl
yest
erday
?

Me:
Bandi
l
esExf
iancee.
.
Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
othef
ri
dgeopeni
ngi
t.
.

Her
:what
?

Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
sref
usi
ngt
oev
ent
hink
abouti
t.
.

Her
:wow!

Me:
yeah

Moment slat
erwehadstartedpr
epari
ng
br
eakfast,
Bandil
ewasstil
lnotback.Ther
ewas
aknockont hedoor
.Leahlookedatme..

Me:
what
?
Her
:thedoor
..

Il
ookedathert henfinal
lywenttothedoor.
Openi
ngt hedoorIsawsomewoman, shor
thai
r,
abitt
allandhadt hechocolat
ebrown
complexionbutstil
ll
ookedbeautif
ul.She
l
ookedlikesomeonei nhermid30'
s.

Me:
mor
ning

Her
:goodmor
ning

Me:
howcanIhel
pyou?

Bef
oreshecouldanswerBandil
ecamehol
ding
mefrom behi
ndbymywai stpul
li
ngmeasi
de.
Hi
m:ummhbabet
hisMma'
Nyar
adzo

Her
:j
ustcal
lmeMma'
Nyar
a

Hi
m:yeahandMma' nyar
athisismy
wi
fe,
Kri
s..
babeshesthecleaner.
.

Me:
it'
sni
cet
omeety
ouMma'
Nyar
a

Her
:l
ikewi
se.
.

Shegoti
nsi
det
hehouse.
.

Hi
m:l
et'
sgoeatsoIdr
opy
ouguy
saty
ourf
lat
..
Me:
i
swher
eIst
ayf
arf
rom uni
ver
sit
y?

Hi
m:no.
.onl
y28or29km Iguess.
.

Me:
ok.
.Iwannapassbyt
her
e..

Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eyouwon'
tgetl
ost
?

Me:
i
fIdoIwi
l
lcal
lyou.
.

Hi
m:okandpl
easebecar
eful
.
.

Me:
yeah.
.

Wewentbackt othekit
chenandLeahwas
al
readydonecooking.Wesatdownand
at
e,aft
ereat
ingBandil
edroveusbackt
othef
lat
butofcausewepassedbyapharmacyashe
boughtmemorningaft
erandIdr
ankthem..He
parkedi
nthegar
ageandLeahgotoffthecaras
soonasweparked.

Hi
m:y
ouwantt
ocomeov
ert
oni
ght
?

Ishookmyheadno,
her
aisedhi
sey
ebr
ow.
.

Me:
Ican'
tl
eaveLeahal
one.
.andIcan'
tcome
wi
thhermaki
ngheranextr
awheel..
Idontwant
t
omakeheruncomfort
abl
e..

Hi
m:ok,
Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowt
hen.
.

Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:l
etmewal
kyou.
.

Wegotoutofthecarthenwal kedtot
hel i
ft
.
Themomentwegoti nsidethelif
thecornered
meintheli
ftpr
essi
nghi sli
pshardagainst
mine,
wit
hourtoungescoaxingeachother
makingmelosemybr eath.
..

SAM

Her
:sowhatnow?

Me:
thepl
ani
sgoi
ngwel
l
Her
:Idontt
hinkhe'
sint
erest
ed.
.

Me:i
tsnotl
i
kehe'snotint
erest
ed, hedoesn't
wanttobei
nter
ested.
.Justunleashhislong
f
eeli
ngsfor
,hel
ovesyouandy ouknowi t..

Her:Idontwanttocompli
cat
emyl i
feandhi
s
again..
hedoesn'
tlookatmethewayheused
to.
.he'seyesar
ecoldasalways.
.

Me:j
ustkeeptr
ying.
.Youknowy oulov
e
hi
m..t
hiscoul
dbey ourchance.
.l
ookIbet
tergo.
.

Isaidhangi
ngupandl
ooki
ngatMi
kewho
walkedin.
.

Hi
m:st
il
loni
t?
Me:
i
tsf
ort
hebest
..

Hi
m:bestf
orwho?

Me:every
one..Especi
all
yher
..
it
sthebestf
or
her
..shedoesn'
tknowwhatshe'sfaci
ng.
.

Him:andyouthi
nkingt
hisisthewayt ogoon
aboutit
?Youmightwin,butyouaregoingto
l
osesomeonev eryimportantt
oy ouandall
f or
whatexactl
y?AndasfarasI '
m concernedyou
andBandil
earethesame. .

Me:I
'
m not
hingl
i
kehi
m..
andTay
lori
sont
opof
i
t.
.

Hi
m:y
ouar
egoi
ngt
olosey
oursi
sterbecause
unfor
tunat
elyf
oryousheseemstolovehi
m
andifshestochoseIwon'
tbesur
pri
sedifshe
chooseshim.

KRI
S

Slowl
yandcaref
ullyIdrov
et hecari
nthe
cave,
thenwewereinthestreetwereIcoul
d
possi
blyseet
heflats.

Leah:
that
swasni
ce

Me:
yeah.
.
Isai
daswewer enowdriv
inginsi
dethegar
age
backfr
om ourexpl
oret
hecit
ymi ssi
on.Wegot
offt
hecarassoonaswepar ked.

Leah:
thi
scari
sther
eal
baby
!

Me:
Iknow.
.andIj
ustl
ovei
t.
.

Leah:
metoo,
any
wayQsai
dhewant
stogoout
onadate.
.

Shesai
dherf
acebeami
ngwi
thunhi
ddenj
oy.

Me:
and?

Her
:Isai
dyes,
I
'mj
ustgoi
ngt
oputi
toutst
rai
ght
thatIwantser i
ousthingsnotj
ustsome
fucki
ng..AfterBrandonIcan'
tbemakingt
he
samemi st
ake

Me:
Iagr
eewi
thy
ou.
.

Wewer enowwal
kingoutoft
hel
i
ftwhenwe
passedsomegi
rl
..

Her
:hi

Me:
hey

Her
:ummhI
'
m Lebogang

Me:
I'
m Kr
is
Leah:
Leah

Her
:Ist
ayi
nfl
atnumber35

Me:
ohwwenei
ghbour
s..

Her:
yeah.
.ummhi
fyouguy
sev
erwantt
ohang
outj
ustshout

Leah:
thatwi
l
lbef
un

Her
:yeah.
.ummhseey
ouar
ound

Me:
yeah

Her
:by
e
Me:
byeLebo

Shegi
ggl
edwal
ki
ngaway
..

Leah:
didy
ouseet
hat
?

Me:
seewhat
?

Her
:shehadbr
uises.
.

Me:
brui
ses?

Her
:yes.
.sheper
fect
lyhi
ditwi
thmakeup

Me:
Idi
dn'
tseeany
thi
ng.
.
Her
:yeah.
.y
ouwoul
dn'
ti
fyouhav
en'
tbeeni
n
t
hatsit
uati
on.
.

Me:
what
'
sthatsupposedt
omean?

Her
:not
hing,
let
'sgo.
.

Me:
wai
t,
Leah!

Her
:Ioncesawi
tinamov
ie.
.

Me:
ohw,
wel
lIdi
dn'
tseeany
thi
ng.
.

Her
:yeah.
.
Shesai dal
readygett
inginsidethehouse.She
i
mmedi at
elywenttotheshower .Therestofthe
dayLeahseemedabi tdistantandIguessLebo
reall
ygottoherevent houghIdidn'
tsee
anythingbutmaybeshewasr ight
.May beshe's
beingabusedbuty oucannev erknow..

Her
:howdoIl
ook?

Me:
beaut
if
ul.
.

Shewasi namermai dhighsl

i
tdressandsome
hi
ll
s.Sheheldherlongdarkhairi
ntoameasy
bunwithsomehairslidi
ngdownherfaceneat
ly
completi
ngherbeauty.

Me:
youl
ookbr
eat
htaki
ng.
.
Her
:t
hanks.
.

Herphonev
ibr
ated.
.

Her
:i
tshi
m

Shesai
dtaki
ngi
t.
.

Me:
he'
sher
e?

Her
:yeah

Me:
howdi
d-Ndi
l
e!

Her
:yeah.
.ummhIwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
..Butdont
besosure..
Shesai
dasshewinkedwal
ki
ngout
.Iwal
ked
wit
hhertot
heli
ft
.

Me:
hav
efun.
.

Her
:Iai
mto.
.

Iwalkedbackt othefl
atandlockedmy sel
fin
j
ustwat chingsomemov ies.Afterawhileof
boredom itwasget ti
nglatesoIdeci dedto
cookbutt henatt heendjustmadesandwi ch
wit
hor angej ui
ce.Bandil
edidn'tcallt
hewhole
dayandsomehowi tsti
ngsobef or
eIgotahead
ofmy selfIjustdeci
dedtocal l
hi m.Hepicked
upafterawhi l
e..

Hi
m:y
es?
Hesaidfi
rmlyl
i
kehewasbeingdist
urbed.
.I
keptqui
teashecaughtmeoffguar
d

Hi
m:f
uckent
alk!

QuicklyIhungupwi ththebeatingofmyhear t.
Thiswasaf i
r st,Iputmyphonedownandwent
torunmy sel
fal ongbat h,Ij
ustneededi t.Isati
n
war m smoot hingwat erfor30mi nutesorso.
AfterbathingIchangedi ntomyPJ' sthen
startedprepar i
ngf orsomesl eepsi nceLeah
wasst il
lnotbackandshehadn' tcall
edor
textedorany thingandf orsomer easonIjust
want edtoclosemyey esandpushawayany
thoughts.

AsIwasalreadyopeni
ngtheblanket
sIhear
da
knock.Myheartst
oppedbeat
ingmoment ar
il
y,
asitwaslatearound2000hrs.Istoodsti
l
land
knockrepeatedagai
naccompani edwitha
femalevoice.Myheartset
tl
edabi tasIwalked
overt
ot hedoor.Isl
owlyopenedandi twas
somegi r
lwithaguy.

Gi
rl
:hi

Me:
hel
l
o

Gi
rl
:ummhy
ouar
ethenewgi
rl
?

Me:
yeah

Gi
rl
:I'
m Li
saandthi
sismyfr
iendSt
hembi
so,
we
wi
llbeholdi
ngapart
ytomor
roweveni
ngpl
ease
makesuretocomeand..
-
IthensawLebowalkingfr
om thel
i
fthol
ding
someshoppingbags,Li
sawalkedt
oherleavi
ng
mewi t
htheSthembisoguy.

Him:
ummhasLi sawassayi
ng,
wewill
be
host
ingapartytomor
row,Dr
esscor
disbl
ack
andred,
ther
e'sent
ryf
eeand-

Theli
ftopenedagai
nandthist
imearound
Bandi
lewalkedoutandcanest
rai
ghttous.

Bandi
l
e:whatmeet
ingi
sthi
s?

Sthembi
so:ummhIwasj
ustexpl
aini
ngt
oher
thepar
tythatwe-

Bandi
le:doesshel
ookl
i
keahookerordr
unkar
d?
Oryoursist
er?
St
hembi
so:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ryi
fi-

Bandil
e:i
wouldbei
fIwer
eyou.
.dontmess
me,youdontknowme.
.

Bandi l
esaidwal ki
ngi nsi dethehouseand
quicklyIfoll
owed, hedi dn'tlookhappynor
sad,j
ustnumbandsomehowapar tofmef el
t
scared,i
sitme?Whatdi di do?Holdingalotof
hesitati
oni justhuggedhi m andaf t
erawhi l
e
hewashol dingmet i
ght ly.Hepul l
edoutaftera
whileandl ookedatme. .Hisey esburni
ng.AsI
l
ookedathi m Icouldf eel somet hi
ngwaswr ong,
somet hingwasbot heringhi m.

Him:
I'
m sor
ry.
.Idi
dn'
tnot
icet
henumberwas
your
s
Ij
ustnodded.
.

Hi
m:doy
ouknowwhatIwantt
odor
ightnow?

Ijustl ookedathim,andhehel dhi sgazeonme

maki ngmev ulnerable.Intheblinkofaney ehis
l
ipswer eonmi ne,ri
ppi ngmycl othesofme, he
caughtmebysur priseandhi skissdeepenbutI
foll
owedbehi ndhim ashel ed.Byt hetimehe
threwmybodyont hebedIwascompl etely
naked, thewayhewasl ookingatmet odaywas
different,hi
sey eswer efil
ledwithl ustand
desi r
e,helookedatmel i
keIwassomepi eceof
meetandhej ustcoul dn'
twai tt
opl easehi mself
.
Hecameont opofmeandki ssedagai n,hardas
hishandscar essedmybodyr oughl yandr i
ght
thereIknewIwasi nf orsomer oughhar d
sex,notl ovemaking,somehar df uck!
 *
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

Waki ngupi nt
hemor ni
ngIf el
thishand
strokingmybarebacksof t
ly,myheadwas
perfectl
ylayedonhischest.Istayedst
il
ljust
l
isteningtohishear
tbeatandhewasst i
ll
strokingmyback.Imov edal i
tt
leandhishand
stoppedf orawhil
ethencont i
nued..

Hi
m:someonei
sawake.
.

Me:
hey

Hi
m:y
ourbodyi
swar
m..

Me:
soi
syour
s..
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?

Him askingmet hatmademymi ndtogoback

tolastnight
'sevent
s,hi
sintenseroughness..I
t
waspai nful
atfir
stbutmybodyadj ustedthatat
theendIwasenj oyingi
tashewentdeeperand
harderthatatsomepointIcouldn'
tfeelhi
m
i
nsideofme. .

Me:
I'
m sor
e

Hi
m:l
etmer
uny
ouabat
h..

Hesaidget t
ingoutofbed,hewasinhisboxer
s.
Hewal kedoutofmyr oom andaf
terawhil
eI
heardwaterrunning..Hecamebackaf t
era
whil
eandscoopedmei nhisarmsandwalked
wit
hmet othebat hr
oom, t
hewayhehel dmeI
fel
tli
keal i
tt
ledryleafwit
hnoparticul
arwei
ght.
Heplacedmynakedbodygentl
yinthe
water
,col
dwat
ertobeexactthatIj
umpeda
l
it
tl
e.

Me:
col
d?

Him:y
es,accor
dingtomyr esear
chcoldwater
wit
henoughsaltsissupposedtodothetr
ick
nowsitdown.

Hemademesi tdownandt
hemomentmyv j
ay
gotI
'
m cont
actwithwat
eri
tst
ingabi
t.Isat
downandhestil
lhadhi
sey
esonme.

Hi
m:l
etmebat
hyou

Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
what
?

Hi
m:y
ouhear
dme,
I
'm nowgoi
ngt
obat
hyou.
.

Hetookthebat
hingspongeandappl
i
edsoapt
o
i
t,af
tert
hathestar
tedwashi
ngmesof t
ly.
.

Hi
m:I'
mr eal
lysorr
yabouty
est
erday
,Ipr
omi
sei
t
won'
teverhappenagai
n

Hesai
dlooki
ngatme.
.

Me:
i
tsok,
what
'swr
ong?

Hi
m:Enhl
ewasar
rest
ed.
.

Me:
what
?why
?
Him:forassaul
ti
ngsomeonet
henaf
tert
hat
burnedtheperson'
scar
..

Me:
Wow!Soy
ourmom?

Hi
m: shedoesn'tknow,
Idontwanttostr
essher
wi
thEnhl esshi
t..
Iwil
lsorti
tout
..
shekeepson
st
ressingmel i
keIdon'thaveal
ife!

Icoul
dt el
lhewasangr
y,somemomentslat
erI
fel
thishandonmypussyt hatImov
edbacka
l
itt
legiggl
i
ng..

Hi
m:washi
ngy
oumeansIwashev
ery
thi
ng.
.

Hesai
dtouchi
ngmeagai
n,
butt
hist
imer
ubbi
ng
mesoft
ly.
.
Me:
that
'snotwashi
ng.
.

Hi
m:thi
sismywayofWashi
ngandapologi
zi
ng
f
orwhatmeandBandi
lej
uni
ordowntheredi
d
l
astni
ght.
.

Il
aughedandcl osedmyey esandj ustfel
tthe
sensati
onhimr ubbingmegav eme. Ibi
tmy
l
owerl i
pasIf el
tawav eofsti
mul ationbuildup
andIstart
edmov i
ngmywai staroundhi s
mov ements.Aft
erawhi l
eIwasbr eathi
nghar d
tr
yingtocatchmybr eathashejustl ookedat
mesmi li
ng..

Hi
m:It
hinky
ouar
edonebat
hingnow.
.

Hesai
dtaki
ngat
owel
..Ist
oodupandhe
wrappedthetowelaroundmybodythenpicked
meoutoft hebatht
ubandstr
aightbackt
omy
r
oom. .Heplacedmedown..

Me:
i
sLeahher
e?

Hi
m:Idontknow,
Iwant
..
-.
.cany
oupl
easecome
wi
thmet oCapet
own?

Me:Capet
own.
.Ihav
en'tbeent
her
e..
ummh
ok.
.howmuchti
mear ewespendi
ngther
e?

Hi
m:y
ouar
esay
ingok,
Iwi
l
lcomewi
thy
ou?

Me:
yeah.
.

Hi
m:gr
eat
,wewi
l
lcomebackt
omor
row
becausewear
eleav
ingt
oday
..Ineedt
obai
l
Enhleout
..

Me:
ok.
.

Iwentovertomyclosetandbr owsedthrough
myclothes.Af
terawhileIwasdr essedi
na
bl
ueJeanj umpsui
t,
thatexposedsomepar tsof
mybackandIhadf oldedtheendsabi t,
Ialso
worebluechuckTaylor
'sandfini
sheditoffwit
h
abluecap.

Hi
m:done?

Me:
yeah.
.

Itookmyover
nightbagandputmynight
dress
andclot
hesIwouldweartomor
row.Bandi
le
tookitandwalkedout ,
leavingmet akingmy
phoneandheadphones.It ookmyphonet o
checkanymessagesbutt herewasnot hing..I
dialedhernumberandcal ledi tbuti tjustr ang
withnoanswerunt ili
tledmet ov oi cemai l
.I
tri
edt wi
ceanditjustkeptonr ingingwi thno
answerandIwasst art
ingt ogetwor ri
ed.I
walkedoutofmyr oom toher sbutshewasn' t
there,
thebedwasper fectl
ymadel ikenobody
sleptther
e.Iwalkedtot hesi t
tingr oom st i
ll
tryi
nghernumbert hatwasj ustringi ng.
.Bandile
placedhisphoneinhispocketassoonashe
sawme.

Hi
m:r
eady
?

Me:Leahwentonadat
ewi
thQ,y
ourfr
iendand
shewassupposedt
ocomebackyest
erday
..
Him:I
'
m sur
eQui
ncyhasher
,don'
twor
ry.
.Iwi
l
l
cal
lhi
m..

Me:
ok.
.

Wewal
kedtothedoorandopeningi
tLeahand
Qst
oodinf
rontofus,
Itookasuchofrel
ief
..

Leah:
hey
..

Shewasn'ti
nherl
astni
ght
'scl
othesany
mor
e,I
hugged.
.

Her
:I
'm sor
ryIdi
dn'
tcal
lort
ext
..

Me:
Ihadbeent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lyou.
.
Her
:yeah.
.sowher
eto?

Me:
Capet
own,
Iwi
l
lbebackt
omor
row.

Her
:ok.
.

Shel
ookedatBandi
l
ethenme,
Il
aughed.
.

Me:
l
ookcal
lmei
fany
thi
ngi
swr
ongok?

Leah:
okhav
efun.
.

Me:
ok

Iwal
kedoutwi
thBandi
let
hewewent
downst
air
stohi
scar.
.
Hi
m:ni
cecary
ouhav
eov
ert
her
e..

Hesai
dlooki
ngatmycar
..

Me:
yeah.
.

Wegoti nhiscarandhedroveout,
before
gett
inghomehest oppedbysomemal l
,hegot
outalonethencamebackafter10minutes..He
hadabot t
leofsti
llwat
erandsomepi l
ls..

It
ookt
hem f
rom hi
m..

Him:
yourmorni
ngaf
ter
..
didy
our
esear
ch
somethi
ng?
Me:noty
et,
Iwi
l
lvi
sitahospi
tal
whenwecome
back.
.

Hi
m:ok

Idr
ankt
hepi
ll
s,
thelastt
hingIwantedwast
o
hav
eababywhil
stIam ababymy sel
f.
.

Aft
erthathedrov
est
rai
ghtt
ohishousebut
gett
ingi
nside,
IsawMma'Ny
arainsi
decl
eani
ng
al
ready.
.

Bandi
l
e:mor
ning

Her
:mor
ningBandi
l
e

Bandi
l
e:I
'
m goi
ngt
otakeaqui
kshowert
henwe
l
eav
e..

Hepeckedmyl
i
psbef
orer
ushi
ngupst
air
s..

Me:
Goodmor
ningMma'
Nyar
a

Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
otheki
tchenwer
eshewas.
.

Her
:Goodmor
ningMadam

Il
aughed.
.

Me:God!
mmaI '
m oldenoughtobey
our
daught
er.
.Pl
easejustcal
lKri
s

Shechuckl
ed.
.
Her
:I
'm sor
ry.
.

Me:
i
tsok.
.needhel
p?

Her
:no,
I
'm ok.
.

Me:ok,ummhIwill
helpyoucookbreakf
astas
youclean.
.I
'
m nottaki
ngnoforananswer.
.

Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
othef
ri
dgeandt
aki
ngoutsome
eggs.
.

Her
:Thanky
ou

Me:
i
tsok.
.
Ist
art
edcooki
ngbr
eakf
ast
..

Me:
sodoy
ouhav
eachi
l
d?

Her
:yes,Ihav
e2kids,
theot
heronei sdoingher
t
hir
dy earinuni
ver
sit
yatChina,
Ny aradzo,
and
t
henaboywhosei nfor
m6backi nZimbabwe..

Me:
oht
hat
sbeaut
if
ul

Her
:yes,
howol
dar
eyou?

Me:
18goi
ngt
o19t
hisy
ear
..

Her
:ok.
.

Ipl
acedt
hebr
eakf
astont
het
abl
e..Bandi
l
ewas
st
il
lupst
air
s..

Me:
l
et'
seat
,I
'
m hungr
y..
Bandi
l
ewi
l
lcat
chus.
.

Her
:ohno.
.i
..
-

Me:
youdon'
teather
e?

Her
:no,
Ieatbutnotwi
thmyboss

Me:
why
?Bandi
l
edoesn'
tl
ety
ou?

Her
:no,
Ij
ustdon'
tcomf
ort
abl
e..

Me:
Mmapl
easesi
tdownandeat
..
Thenwehear
daknockont
hedoor
,Ist
oodup.
.

Me:
Iwi
l
lgeti
t,
whi
l
eyousi
tandeat
..

Iwalkedt othedoorandsurpri
singl
ythePoli
ce
wasst andingatthedoorstepaccompanied
with2bi gdogsthatlookedangry.Myheart
stoppedbeat i
ngforamoment ,I
sBandilein
tr
ouble?

I
twasaladyi
ncl
othesand2pol
iceoffi
cer
sin
uni
for
m.Sher
eal
l
yl ookedl
i
keshekicksass.

Her
:Goodmor
ning

Me:
mor
ning,
howcanIhel
p?
Her
:I
sBandi
l
eThul
ani
in?

Bef
oreIcoukdanswerIheardNdi
le'
svoice
i
nsidethehouse,
thenaf
terawhi
lefoot
steps
comingtowardsme..

Bandi
l
e:babewho.
.-

Hest
oppedwhenhesawt
hecops.

Bandi
l
e:andwhatdidIdotobehonour
edwi
th
suchavisi
tfr
om t
hepoli
ce?

Lady
:I
'm det
ect
iveLexi
easyoual
readyknow
andIhavesear
chwar r
ant
..

Bandi
l
echuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:whatar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
ori
nmyhouse?

Detect
ive:
webel
i
evet
her
ear
edr
ugsi
nthi
s
house.
.

Bandi
l
elaughed,
real
l
yloud.
..

Hi
m: ohw,
oktakethem whereyouseet hem but
pl
easeleavemyhouset hewayy ouhavefound
i
tin,
anddonttakewhat'
snoty oursbecauseI
wi
llsueyourl
it
tleAssforthef
t,
thatyouusuall
y
do

Byt
het
imehewasdonehi
svoi
cewasmuch
mor
efi
rmert
hant
heusual
.
.

Her
:whatexact
lyar
eyoui
nsi
nuat
ing
Bandi
l
e:whatpossi
blycoul
dIbei
nsi
nuat
ing?

Det
ecti
ve:
dontwor
ry,
yourhousewi
l
lbei
n
or
der.
.

Shegoti nsi
dethehouseandwi t
hher2of f
icer
s
togetherwit
hthedogsandst artedwit
hthe
search.Bandil
eandIwasj uststandi
nglooking
atthem,asIwasstil
lstandingtheremyphone
rangandi twasSam,Itookaf ewstepsfrom
them andanswered..

Me:
hi

Hi
m:hey
,howi
sschool
?

Me:
Ihav
en'
tst
art
edy
et.
.
Him:ok,
Ij
ustwant
edtolety
ouknowIwi
l
lgi
ve
Bandil
eachancewit
hyou..

Me:
what
?

Hi
m:Iwi
ll
lety
ouandBandi
l
ebebecausey
ou
l
ovehi
m..

Me:
what
?wow.
.I.
.Wow!

Hi
m: yeah,
Idontwanttol
osemysi
sterov
ersi
l
ly
t
hings..
sohowar eyou?

Me:
wel
lI'
m good.
.

Hi
m:Tay
lort
oldheboughty
ouacar
..
Me:
yeah.
.Rs7

Hi
m:t
hat
sni
ce.
..
lookIbet
tergo.
.Il
ovey
ou

Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo

Het henhungup, tobehonesthe' ssudden

changeofmi ndcaughtmebysur pr
ise,Iwonder
whatmadehi m changehi smi nd.Notsol ong
agohel oathedBandi lebuttodayhe'stalkinga
dif
ferentst
or y.
.IturnedtolookatBandi lewho
wasl ooki
ngatme. .Itseemedl i
ketheywer e
doneal r
eady..Iwalkedt ohi
m, wherehest ood
withthedetective,thi
swomanl ookedfeisty..

Hi
m:ev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
yeah.
.

Ilookedatt hedetectiv
ewhol ookedatmewi th
pityeyes,andIjuststoodt her
ewonder ingwhy
shewoul dpit
yme. .Afterawhi l
eonecop
descendedf rom upstairswithonedogwhi le
theothermadehi swayf rom theKitchen.
.
Mma' Ny arawasbehi ndtheonewhowas
upstair
s.

Of
fi
cer
1:not
hing.
.

Detect
ive:
ok..
justknowI'
m wat
chi
ngy
ou
Bandil
eThulani,
becaref
ul.
.

Bandil
e:howabouty
ougocatchreal
cr i
minal
s
i
nsteadofrunni
ngaf
termel
ikesomel apdog?
Shejustcli
ckedhert oungewal
ki
ngawaywi t
h
theoff
icerstogetherwitht
hei
rdogs.Af
tert
hey
werecompl etel
ygoneMma' Nyarawenttot
he
kit
chen..

Me:
whyaretheysuspect
ingy
ouhav
edr
ugsi
n
t
hehouse?

Hej
ustl
ookedatmeanddr
aggedmeout
side.
.

Hi
m:t
hehousei
sbugged.
.

Me:
bugged?
bywho?

Hi
m:t
hel
adydet
ect
ivebuggedi
t.
.r
ightnow

Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.

Me:
andwhyar
etheysuspect
ingy
oukeepdr
ugs?

Hi
m:becauseIhadadeal
thatwentwr
ong.
.

Me:
arey
ougoi
ngt
ogetar
rest
ed?

Hi
m:no..
theydon'thaveany
thi
ngagai
nst
me,
justsuspect
ing..

Isl
owl
ynodded.
.

Hi
m:di
dyoueat
?
Me:
no.
.Icooked.
.

Hi
m:l
et'
sgoeat
..

Wegoti nthehouseagai n,
andwenttothe
kit
chen..Weat esi
lentl
ywithmyheartbeat
ing
fast.
.whatifhegetsarrest
ed?It
ri
edtopushthe
thoughtatthebackofmymi ndbutIj
ust
couldn'
tstopanything.
.

Aft
ereat
ingwewentt
ohi
scar
,andhedr
oveus
tot
heair
port
..

Hi
m:what
'swr
ong?

Me:
Idontwanty
out
ogetar
rest
ed.
.
Hi
m:Iwon'
tbabe.
.

Me:whati
fsomeonesni
tchesony
ou?Orset
s
youup?t
henwhat?

Helookedatmet
hengl
ancedbackatt
her
oad
si
l
ently
..

Hi
m:Ihav
et hebestl
awyeroutt
her
e..
hewi
l
lfi
sh
meoutofthesit
uati
on.
..

Ij
ustnodded.
.

Hi
m:l
ookdontwor
ryy
our
sel
f.
.Ok?

Me:
ok.
.
Event houghhesai dIshouldn'
tworrybutIj
ust
couldnthelpittoworry,t
hereweretoomany
"whatifs"inmymi ndandIwasso
scared..whati
fhe'sarrestedandIneversee
him everagain?Whatt hen?WhenIf i
rstmet
him,Ididn'
tcareifIdontseehim everagai
n,
but
nowt hatmyhear tbeatsonl yf
orhi
m. .
.

*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t28PART1
BANDI
LE
.
.
Ilookedather ,absor bingeveryfeat ureofher
facecar essingi tgent lywit
hmyey es.Iwant ed
tot ouchher ,
trailmyf i
ngersonhersof tski
nbut
Ididn'twanthert owakeup.Icoul dn' tmissthe
stressmar ksonherf ace.Wewer ei ntheplane
almostl andingi nCapet ownbutKr iswas
sleepingbesi desme, IactuallypraisedGodwe
wer eact uall
yusi ngmycompany '
spl ane.The
schedul edf l
ightsj ustirr
it
atemet ocor e.I
shookherabi twhent hefl
ightattendant
notifi
edust hatthepl anewasal mostl anding
andweshoul dputonourseat belt
.Lazi l
yshe
openedherey es,tookheraf ewmoment st
oget
i
nf ullactive.
Me:
seat
bel
t.
.
Immedi atel
yshestrappedtheseat
belt.
Moment slat
ertheplanewaslandi
ng,we
removedt heseatbeltt
hemomentt heplane
stopped.Iwalkedbehindherwithhersmall
over
nightbag.Wegotof ft
heplane,
outofthe
ai
rportt
othepar ki
ngLottandwentstr
aightt
o
myRangeRov erVel
ar.
.
Her
:t
hisi
sal
soy
our
s?
Me:
yes
Shesof tl
ynoddedasIunl ockedt hecarand
openedt hedoorf orher .Iwentr oundt omy
sideandgoti nthecardr ivingt ot hepol i
ce
stati
onwher eEnhl eis.Foramomentt hereIlet
whatKr issaidwei ghinmymi nd,whati f
someoneset smeup?Ihav enev ercaughtt he
poli
ce'sattentiontotheext entoft hem
searchingmyhousewhi chRai se'sar edflaga
thatsomet hingisnotr i
ght .Ican' tgotojail,
what
aboutmom andEnhl e?WhataboutKr is?Mom
hashighbl oodpr essure,itwoul dkillher
i
nstantly..
Kr
is:
arey
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Shelookedbackattheroad.Afterawhil
ewe
werewalki
ngintothepoli
cestation.Westood
bythepoli
ceoff
iceronsomef rontdesk.
Me:
GoodMor
ning
Hi
m:mor
ning,
howcanIhel
pyou?
Me:
I'
mlooki
ngformysi
ster
,Mbal
i
enhl
eThul
ani
whowasarr
est
edyest
erday
.
Hestart
edgoingthroughsomecertai
nfi
les,
unt
ilhegotonethathelookedt
hroughit
.
Him:yes,
wedohav eaMbal ienhl
eThulaniwho
wasbr oughti
nforassaultofAmber
Ruthwels,
andtoaddtot hatMbali
enhleThulani
i
sbeingsuedf ordest
royingMsRut hwelscarby
burni
ngi t
.
Ifel
tKri
s'
shandsl i
ppingint
omi neasmy
temperbegantoraise,
shesqueezedmesli
ght
ly
givi
ngmear eassuri
ngsmi l
e.Someti
mesI
wonderwhycan'tev er
yonebeli
keher.
Me:
howmuchi
sherbai
l
?
Hi
m:R12000
Me:
andwher
ecanIpay
?
.
Afterawhi
leIhadpaidmysister'
sbail
,
butIwas
i
nf or
medtoseesomedet ect
iveastheywentto
takeher
.IwenttotheDet
ective'
soffi
cewit
h
Krisbymyside.WhenIgotthereIsawaman
andawoman, butthewomandi dn'
tstr
iket
ome
assomeonewhowoul dbeadet ecti
ve.
Man:y
oumustbeMbal
i
enhl
eThul
ani
'
ssi
ster
r
ight
?
Me:
yes
Man:ok,
I'm Detecti
veLoapeandt hisisDr
Melt
on,shei sapsy chiatri
st.Yesterdaywhen
Mbali
enhleThul aniwasBr oughtinher eDr
Melt
onwasher eandshesai dtherewas
somethingwr ongwi thy oursisterbecause
whenweputheri nf orinterrogati
ony oursi
ster
deni
editall,
butofcauset heev idencebrought
herdown.Whatbot her
edmewast hatshe
sti
ll
,saysshe'
sinnocentandshewasathome
whent heassaultandburni
ngofthecar
happened.DrMel tonhadherexaminedear
lyi
n
themor ni
ngandi tseemsli
kesheSeesa
problem.
Me:
probl
em?
DrMel t
on:y es,Idi
dhy pnotherapysessionon
herintheinterrogationroom tolookather
psyche.Inallthey earsIhavewor kedinmy
i
ndustryIhav eonlycameacr ossonecasel i
ke
thi
sandt hisismysecondone.Hav eyouever
hadofmul tiplepersonalit
ydisorder?
Me:
whati
sit
?
Her:
acondi t
ionwher etherearesev er
al
compl etel
ydi f
ferentpersonali
ti
esinone
body,alsoknownasdi ssociati
veidenti
ty
di
sorder .It
sint hepsychiatr
icli
ter
ature.I
t
usuallystart
sbecauseofchi l
dhoodt r
auma.
Everyal t
erorper sonal
it
yhasdi sti
nctname,age,
moodorev engender.Thisdi
sordermaybe
developedintr
aumat i
cconditi
onsor
depressionsfr
om thepastthathasbeenused
bythepat i
entasthe"defensemechanism.
Kr
is:
what
?
DrMel ton:
thev ict
im shut soutt het r
aumaby
creat
inganot heridentit
y .Thisper sonalit
iesare
creat
edbecauset hehostcan' tst andthepain
ofthet r
auma, likeitsawayofescape.
Accordingtot hepsy chiatri
cliter atureitshows
thatthepersonal i
tiescanbet ot allydif
ferent
from thehost,theycanev enspeakdi ff
erent
l
anguagesandhav evari
edt ast e..
Me:
butsheseemsnor
mal
.
.
Her:yes,
peoplewi t
hMPDar enormalwellunt
il
anotherpersonalit
ytakesover.Thehostmay
notbeawar eoft heotheralt
ersor
personali
ti
es..
butthesideeffectsi
sthatthe
otherpersonali
ti
escanhur tthemselv
esandby
hurti
ngthemsel vesthi
soccur sonthehost'
s
body.Thehostmaynotevenr
ememberthe
eventst
hattookpl
acewhenanal
terhadtaken
over.
Me:
sohowmanyal
ter
sdoesshehav
e?
Her
:onl
yone.
.Icanhy
pnot
izeheragai
ninf
ront
ofy
ou..
Me:
ok.
.
Thedet
ect
ivemadeacal
lsummoni ngthat
Enhl
etobetakent
othei
nter
rogat
ionroom.
Det
ect
ive:
wecangonow
Weal
lst
oodupandwal
kedt
otheint
errogati
on
r
oom,
whenwewereatt
hedoorKr
isstopped.
Her
:Iwi
l
lwai
tfory
ouher
e..
Me:
why
?
Shef
lushed.
.
Me:
l
et'
sgo
Ipul
ledherbyherhandi
nsi
de.Shewassitt
ing
ther
ealll
ost,
sopal
eandmyhear tbr
okeseeing
l
iket
his.Assoonasshesawmeshest
oodup
andcametomeat t
acki
ngmeinahug.
Her
:I
'm sogl
ady
ouar
eher
e,Iwassoscar
ed.
.
Shesai
dcr
ying.
Me:
I'
m her
enow.
.dontwor
ry
Her
:Idi
dn'
tdoi
t,
Iswear
..
Iwoul
dnev
er
Il
ookedatthedetect
ivewhoshruggedhis
shoul
der
s,shelookedatmesteppingback..
Her:
you..
yout
hinkIdi
dthat
??I.
.Ihadnoreason
t
ohur tAmber
,shesacl
osefri
end..Imether
whenIcametoJohannesburg.
.
Me:
Iknowy
ouwoul
dnev
er.
.
Herf
acer
elax
ed.
.
Her
:I
'm gl
ady
oubel
i
eveme,
hiKr
is.
.
Kr
is:
hey
Her
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ul
Kr
is:
thanks.
.
DrMel
ton:
shoul
dI?
Igav
eheranode.
.
DrMel
ton:
ummhMbal
i
,comesi
tpl
ease.
.
Shewentandsatdownl
ooki
ngabi
tner
vous.
.
DrMelt
on:
hav
eyouev
erbeenhy
pnot
ized
bef
ore?
Enhl
e:no.
.
DrMel ton:ok,i
tdoesn'thurtrelax.There'
s
not hingmucht oi t
,al
lyouhav et odoislistento
myv oice..
justrelax,f
eelyourmuscl es
relax,breath..
.youreyes..
feelthem getheav y,
you
hav ebeent hroughal ot,
yourbodyandmi ndis
ti
red, veryverytir
edandal l y
ouwanti sto
sleep. .
justclosey oureyesandr el
ax,
y ouar e
feelingv erydrowsyandsl eppy ,
ver
yv err
ry
sleepy .
I
ttookabout15minut
estoputherunder
,her
f
acewassor el
axedli
keshewassleepi
ng.
DrMel
ton:
Mbal
iwher
ear
eyou?
doy
ouknow
wher
eyouar
e?
Her
:yes,
I
'mi
njai
l
Hervoicewassof
aint
,l
ikeshewast
alki
ngwhi
l
e
sl
eeping.
DrMel
ton:
andwhyar
eyoui
njai
l
?
Her
:theyar
esayingIhurtmyownfri
endand
bur
nthercar,
peopl
ethinkIdi
dthat
..
DrMelt
on:
buty
oudi
dn'
t?
youdi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng
bad?
Her
:Idi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ngbad
DrMelt
on:Mbal
ihavey
ouev
erbeatsomeone
orbur
ntsomeone'
scar
?
Her
:atschoolIoncefoughtwi
thsomeone,
butI
hav
enev erburntany
one'scar
DrMel
ton:
soy
ouhav
enev
erbeatAmber
?
Her
:yes,
Iwoul
dnev
er
DrMel
ton:doyouhaveanyideaofaper
son
whowouldhur
therfr
iend?
SuddenlyEnhlesr elaxedf acest ar
tedchanging,
herbreathi
nghi tched.Herper sonastart
edto
change,herl
ipst i
ght enedandherf eat
ures
shif
tedabi t
,shesatupst raightbutherey es
becamesosad.Shej usttransformedintoasad
personnotthel iveli
nessEnhl eIknow. .She
start
edhummi ng, butthesongshewas
hummi ngwasf ami l
iar,i
twasasongmom
al
way ssangf ormewhenIwasachi l
d..
Ididn'tknowifshewasfool
i
ngaround
pretendingtobesomeoneshei
sn't
.
DrMel
ton:
Mbal
i
,youst
il
lther
e?
Her
:I
'm notMbal
i
Shesaidsof
tl
y.
.Ilookedatherhol
dingand
graspi
ngmyheartinmymout h,Kr
isgaspedat
bi
t..
DrMel
ton:
thenwhoar
eyou?
Her
:I
'm Let
ti
e.Let
ici
aBob
Herv
oicewassosof
t.
.shewasn'
tmysi
ster
..
Ther
ewasnowayshewasmysi
ster
..
DrMel
ton:
Mbal
i
enhl
eThul
ani
Her
:I
'm Let
ti
enotMbal
i
,shessl
eepi
ng.
.
DrMel
ton:
whoi
ssl
eepi
ng?
Her
:Mbal
i
,she'
ssl
eepi
ng
DrMelt
on:okLet
ti
e,doy
ouhav
eanyi
deawho
woul
dhurtAmber?
Her
:It
oldhertostop!
shedidn'
tli
stento
me,
shesaf r
eak!Shedoesn'tl
i
sten..
DrMel
ton:
soy
ouhur
ther
?
Her
:no,
Ij
ustdi
sci
pli
nedher
..
DrMel
ton:
andhercar
?
Her
:shewasgoi
ngt
orunaway
..
soIhadt
obur
n
i
t
HersoftsadeyeschangedintosomethingIhad
neverseenbefor
e,hereyesdarkenedandshe
setoutanevil
laughthatechoedthewhole
room.
Her:ohwow, youboughtt hat?I'
m LettieIdontdo
sadshi t
..Ok? I'm surpri
sedshesal i
ve...I
'm not
tr
yingtohur tany one..I
'm hel pi
ngMbal i
,I
'
mt he
onlyfri
endMbal ihas...
onl yme. .Amberwant ed
totakemypl ace,shewasi ntroducingMbal ito
badt hi
ngs. .
di dAmbert ellyoushesal esbian..
Thatswr ong! Ihadt ostopi t
..
Icar eaboutEnhl e
andIwi l
l doany t
hingt opr otecther ,
justlike
howIpr ot ectedherf rom herev i
l uncle..Uncle
Desmond. .Hewashur tingher ,
rappingher
everyday..Ihadt opr otecthersoIki lledhi m..
Ichuckled,Iwasn'thearingthis,
thi
swasn' t
happening..UncleDesmondwasmyf ather'
s
brotherwhodi ed4y earsaf t
ermydad, hewas
founddeadi nhishousewher ewewer est ayi
ng
atthatmomentsi ncemyf at
her'
sfamilyhated
mymom. .hewast heperfectfat
hertome, to
Enhle..
hewoul dnev erhurther.
Her:
herappedherev ersi
nceherdaddi
ed..I
hadtoprotecthersi
nceIvycoul
dn'
t.
.Shejust
watchedherdaughterbei
ngrappeddayand
ni
ghtbutshej
ustkeptqui
te!She'
sev
il
!
Shescr
eamedhi
tt
ingt
het
abl
e..
Her
:yousee,Iwasonl
ytr
yingt
ohel
p..
Idi
dn'
tdo
any
thingbad..
DrMel
ton:
whoel
sehav
eyouev
erhur
t?
Her
:wel
l
..Aust
in.
.Ij
ustbur
nedhi
shouse.
.
DrMel
ton:
washei
nsi
det
hehouse?
Her
:whyar
eyoubei
ngnoseyMsRedhai
r?
DrMel
ton:
I'
mtr
yingt
ohel
pyou
Her:
Idontneedhel
p..
who'
shel
p?andwho'
s
hel
p'
smot herandf
ather
?wher
edoeshel
pwor
k?
DrMelton:I
'm goingt obri
ngMbali out
now..
Mbali.
..
Mbal i.
.Enhle.
.rel
axeverythi
ngis
fi
ne,
closeyourey esnow. .
theyar
ev eryvery
heavy.
.Mbalir
elax,yourmindisatpeace..i
nthe
countof6.
.One..Two. .
Herf
acebegant
orel
ax,
herey
esRol
l
ingback
DrMel
ton:
thr
ee.
..
.f
our
..
Herexpressi
onbegantochange,
rel
axi
ngev
ery
second,
herfacesoft
eni
ng..
DrMel
ton:
fiv
e..
..
andsi
x
Sheopenedherey
esandl
ookedar
oundt
he
room.
.
Her
:wasIsl
eepi
ng?If
eel
tir
ed.
.
Myheartwasbeat
inghar
dagai
nstmy
chest
,whymom?why?4year
sofbei
ngr
apped,
why?
.
.
KRI
S
.
.
Iwatchedhi
m br
eakeachsecond,hewas
shut
teri
ngandIj
ustst
oodtherenotknowi
ng
whattodo.Hecoul
dn'
tbel
ievewhathewas
hear
ing.
Enhl
e:am Igoi
nghome?
Bandi
l
ewal
kedout
,notev
enl
ooki
ngback.
Me:
i
sshegoi
nghome?
DrMel t
on:that'
sthethi
ng,
itsnotsaf
eforheror
anyoneclosetoheraslongasshest i
ll
has
anotherpersonal
it
yinher,
thisLet
ti
egir
lmay
hurtMbaliorsomeonewhopossesasat hreat
Me:
soshehast
ogot
oament
ali
nst
it
uti
on?
DrMel
ton:
I'
m af
rai
dso.
.she
needsTherapyandmedicat
ionsot
ogr
adual
y
repai
rthef
ragmentedI
denti
ty.
Me:
i
shercasegoi
ngt
ogot
ocour
t?
Detecti
ve:
yes,
MsAmberRut
hwel
sisnot
backing
Me:
can'
therment
ali
l
lnessbeusedi
ncour
t?
DrMel
ton:
that
swhati
sgoi
ngt
ohappen.
.
Me:
doessheknowshehasot
herper
sonal
i
ties?
DrMel t
on:no,
andshedoesn'
tknowanythi
ng
thathappenedwhenLet
ti
ehadt akenov
er,
I'
m
goingtohavetotal
ktot
hemot her
Me:
canshegohomet
oday
?
DrMel ton:yestodayshecanbutacloseeye
shouldbekeptonher .
.youmightnev
erknow
whenLet tietakesoverbutsheshoul
dgotothe
psychiatrysotohelpherassoonaspossibl
e..
Det
ect
ive:
arey
ouhersi
ster
..
Ismi
l
edsof
tl
y.
.
Me:
I'
m act
ual
l
yBandi
l
esgi
rl
fr
iend.
.
DrMelton:Iknewthat
..
Ihopeyouwil
lbether
e
forhi
m becauseIdontthi
nkheataki
ngthi
swell
Me:
Ipl
ant
ost
andbyhi
mti
l
ltheend.
.
Det
ect
ive:
ok,
ummhMbal
i
..
Wealll
ookedatherandshewassleepingon
t
hedesk.Thedoctorshookherabi
tthatshe
wokeup..
Her
:ar
ewegoi
ngnow?
Detect
ive:
yesbuty
ouhav
etosi
gnsomet
hing
fi
rst
..
Westoodupandwalkedtot
hefrontdesk.She
si
gnedsomet
hingt
henIwalkedoutwithher
af
tershet
ookhert
hings.
Her
:hebel
i
evesmer
ight
?
Shesai
daswewal
kedt
othecar
.
Me:y
eshedoes.
.Heknowsy
ouwoul
dnev
erdo
somethi
ngl
i
kethat
..
Her
:yeah.
.Amberi
smyf
ri
end.
.Mybestf
ri
end
Me:
howcl
osear
eyouwi
thher
?
Her
:cl
oseenought
otel
lherev
ery
thi
ng.
.She'
s
j
ustwonder
ful
..
Inodded..Whenwegott othecarBandi
le
wasn'ti
nsidebutthedoorswereunl
ocked.We
gotinandshesatatthebackseat.
.Myphone
star
tedri
nging,i
twasDad. .
Me:
Dad!
Hi
m:pr
incess,
howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m goody
ou?
Hi
m:I
'
m ok,
Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
met
oo
Hi
m:sowher
ear
eyou?
Me:
ummmhIwentout
..
Hi
m:shoppi
ng?
Me:
no,
j
ustv
iewi
ngt
heci
ty.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyouwi
thLeah?
Me:
no.
.I
'
m al
one.
.t
hanky
ousomuchf
ort
hecar
Hi
m:it
sok,Ionl
ywantnot
hingbutwhat
'
sbest
f
oryou..Youar
emydaughter,
myblood
Me:
Iknow.
.
Hi
m:y
es,
OKIbet
tergo.
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Thenhehungup.
.
Enhl
e:y
ourdadmusthet
hebestdadoutt
her
e!
Me:
hei
s..
Her
:wel
lmi
nedi
edwhenIwas7.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Her:
it
sok,Ihav
elear
ntt
oliv
ewi
thi
t.
.pl
usIhav
e
Bandi
leandMom. .
andyou
Isof
tl
ylaughed
Me:
I'
m al
way
sgoi
ngt
obet
her
efory
ou.
.
Justt henBandilewalkedbacki nthecarf r
om
wher everhewascomi ngf r
om.Hesmel l
edlike
hehadbeensmoki ng..Immedi atelyhegotinhe
start
edt hecar.Hest arteddr i
v i
ngsomewher e,
butthej our
neywasf i
ll
edwi thsi l
ence.Bandil
e
didn'
tsayany thi
ngatal l..Hepar kedatsome
greybeaut i
fulfl
at.Iguesst hat swher ehismom
stayinCapet ownt ogetherwi tht hesist
er.He
gotof fassoonashest oppedt hecarandwe
foll
owedbehi ndhi m,well If
ollowedbehi nd
Enhle.Hi
smom wassitt
ingdownwatchi
ngtv
butstoodupassoonasshesawherson.She
smiledwalki
ngt
ohim butBandi
l
etookastep
back,hel
ookedr
eadytokil
l.
.
I
vy:
Bandi
l
ebabywhat
'swr
ong?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:what'
swrong?
youcan'
taskmet
hat
I
vy.
.what
swrong?
I
vy:
I'
mlost
..
Him:maybeIshoul
dnudgey
ourbr aini
nthe
ri
ghtdi
rect
ion.
.Enhl
ewasar
r est
ed..For
assaul
ti
ngsomeoneandburningthevict
im'
s
car.
.
Her
:what
?Enhl
e..
Him:butthedoctorsai
dshessuffer
ingf
rom
multipl
epersonal
it
ydisorder
..
shehasot
her
personali
ti
esexceptherown..
Her
:what
?
Him:yeah,
shehasanot
herper
sonal
i
tycal
l
ed
Lett
ie.
.
Her :
yoursi
sterj
ustl
ikedthenameLet
ti
eever
sinceyoungage..
sheev enwant
edtonameher
femalechil
dLetti
e..
Him:wel
lthat'
sherot herpersonal
ity
..Butyou
knowwhat '
sinterest
ing..Thedoctorsaidit
s
becauseofthet r
aumashef acedwhenshewas
achil
d..
mom whathappenedt oEnhleafter
dad'
sdeath?
Her
:whatdoy
oumeanwhathappened?
Hi
m:Uncl
eDesmonddamni
t!
Hescreamedmaki
ngIvyjumpali
tt
le.
.She
st
art
edshakingwi
tht
earsstr
eami
ng..
Him:whatki
ndofamot
herareyou?
youdont
deserv
etobeamother
..Youar
eamonster!
Her
:Ndi
l
e..
-
Him:dont
!youar
edeadtomedoyougett
hat
?I
hateyousomuch!shewasonl
yaki
dandyou
watchedl
ikenothi
ngi
sgoingon.
.Howdare
you?howdareyoudothatt
oyourowndaught
er?
Shebrokedownkneel
ingbefor
ehersonwho
wasscreamingwit
hangerandhurt
.Il
ookedat
enhl
ewhowasal sonowcryi
ng..
Him:al
lal
ongIthought..
-doyouknowthe
damagey ouhavecaused?Iwishitwasy
ou
whodied.
.Youdeservet obedeadyouwit
ch..I
hateyousomuchI vy
..Youarenotmymot her.
.
Idonthaveanevil
mot herl
ikeyou.
.
Hesaidfai
ntl
ywalki
ngout,andaf t
erawhileI
hadthecardri
veaway..I
vy'
scr ywasenoughto
par
alyseme..
shecri
edhelplesslyunt
ilIf
eltmy
owntearsst
ingmyey es.
.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
Iknowi
tsshor
t,f
orgi
veme.
.
Guy
spl
easel
et'
scomment
,andl
i
kebutl
et'
sput
i
nabitofef
fortonthecomment
s..Lot
sofl
ove
f
rom me,
Iwil
lpost28part2t
omorrow.
.
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t28PART2
KRI
S
.
.
Itwasnowar ound2200hr sandBandi l
ewas
stillnotback, andGodknowshowwor ri
edIwas.
Ihadt ri
edhi sphonemor ethan10t i
mesnow
andi tst
illl
edmet ov oi
cemai l
,whati
f
somet hinghappenedt ohim?I vyhadlocked
her selfi
nherr oom assoonasBandi l
eleftand
Enhl eshowedmeBandi l
esr oom beforeshe
wentt oher s.Shedidn'tseem brokentome, her
expr essionwasj ustnumbt ome.Sheswasn' t
ev encr yingli
kesomeonewhohadav ery
traumat isingchildhood,andIgetwher eBandi l
e
i
scomi ngf r
om..Isatdownonhi sbedaf t
er
takingaqui ckshoweranddr essedupi nmy
PJ's,againItri
edhisnumberbuti tstil
lwentto
voicemai l
.Itookadeepbr eat hasIlist
enedt o
theslightheadachet hatwasst art
ing,teari
ng
myheadsl owly.Il
ayonhi sbedcl osingmy
eyest i
ghtlyastheheadachegotwor sebyt he
secondandt helastthingthatwasi nmymi nd
beforemyIcompl etelyfel
lintodarknesswas
Bandile..I
sheok?
Thenextday ,
openingmyey esmyheadf el
t
heav yli
ket herewasbr ickjustplacedonmy
forehead.Ibl i
nkedacoupl eoft i
mesunt i
lIhad
acl earversion.Mybodyf eltl
ockedup,Icouldn't
mov efr
eelybutt hatswhenIr eal
izedIwas
l
ockedi nBandi l
esarms.It ookadeepheav y
sighofr el
iefasIsawhi shandsr oundonmy
wai stpull
i
ngmet ohim andwi t
hmyl egs
betweenhi s.Ev enthoughIhadmybackagai nst
him butIcoul dsmel lalcohol.Justthenmy
phonest artedr i
nging,Itookitfrom underthe
pi
l
lowandi
twasAl
ex.
Me:
Alex
Her:
Kri
s!howareyou?
howi
sJohannesbur
g?I
missyoualr
eady.
.
Me:well
I'
m good,
Johannesbur
gisokandImi
ss
youtoo.
.
Her
:Tshepi
e'
saccept
ancel
ett
erwi
l
lbecomi
ng
i
naf ewdays.
.
Me:Iknowit
shar df
oryoubuti
n2y
ear
sti
me
youwillbej
oini
ngus..
Her
:yeahbutwhati
fhemeet
sbet
tergi
rl
sthan
me?whit
egirl
sorbi
gassgi
rl
s?
Me:y
ouhavecur
lyhai
r,
yourdadi
swhi
teso
what'
sgood?
Her
:youknowwhatImean.
.
Me:
Tshepi
elov
esy
ou
Her
:di
dhesayt
hat
?
Me:
hedoesn'
thav
etosayi
t.
.Icanseei
t,
I
st
art
eddat
ingBandi
l
ewhenIwasst
il
latSt
ates
Her
:ok,
ummhar
eyouhappyt
her
e?
Me:
yes.
.howi
smom?
Her
:she'
sok.
.howi
sNdi
l
e?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:I
'
m st
arti
ngt
othi
nky
ouwantt
osnat
ch
what'
smine.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her:
nev er
!yourboy
fri
endisScar
ry.
.l
ookIbet
ter
go..
Sethunyaishere,
yousti
l
lrememberher
ri
ght?
Me:
yeah,
yourbestf
ri
end.
.
Her
:yeah.
.soy
ouwi
l
lcal
lri
ght
?
Me:
yes,
pleaset
akegoodcar
eofy
our
sel
fand
mom
Her
:Iwi
l
l,
bye.
.Wai
t.
.Il
ovey
ou
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oosweet
y..
Shet henhungup.Isl owlyremov edBandi l
es
handf rom mywai st,t
henwi ggledmyl egsf rom
his.I
twasabi tofast ruggl
ebutatt heendIset
my selffreeandhej ustlaytheresleeping.Itook
myov ernightbagt henwentt ot hebathroom,
tookashowert henchangedi ntoanav yblue
skinjean,abl acktopandbl ackpumps.It hen
ti
edmybr aidsint
oapor ntalethent ookmybag
backt oBandi l
esroom.Hewasst i
l
l sl
eeping,he
wassl eepi nginhisy ester
day'sclothes.After
placi
ngmybagdownIwentt ot heirki
tchen,
andEnhl ewasal readyawake, shewascooki ng.
Shouldn'tshebecr yingorsomet hi
ng..
Me:
mor
ning
Shetur
nedtomehol di
ngakni
fet
hatI
scr
eamedabi tt
ri
ppingonmyownlegst
hatI
fel
l
.Shedroppedthekni
fe.
.
Her
:ohmy
..
I'
m sosor
ry.
.I
..
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Shecamet
owar
dsmeandhel
pedmest
and.
Her
:I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Me:
itsok,
howar
eyou?
Her:
Idontknow..
Ifeel
li
kesomethi
ngi
swrong
wit
hme. .
Ikeeponhavingt
hisdr
eam..
Scar
ry
dr
eam
Me:
what
'
shappeni
ng?
Her:
theversionisbl
urbutIcanseeali
ttl
egirl
cry
ing.
.Likeshewant shel
pbutnoonehel ps
hernomat terhowmuchshescr eams.
.Ican'
t
seeherclearly
..
Me:
ok
Her:
Isti
l
lcan'
tbel
i
eveBandi
l
espoket
omom
l
ikethat
Ikeptqui
te,
notev
enknowi
nghowt
orespond
tothat
.
Her
:am Igoi
ngcr
azy
?
Me:
no.
.noy
ouar
enot
..
let
'smakebr
eakf
ast
..
Sheseemedt
ohav
enotanyi
deaonwhat
'
s
happeningandi tseemslikeshedoesn'
t
rememberherchi ldhoodthatmuchbutthen
whatmadeherf orget?
creati
nganother
personali
ty?Wemadebr eakfastwit
hhertel
l
ing
meaboutVar si
ty,IwonderhowGodwor ks
somet i
mes. .Af
termakingbreakfastwesetup
thetabl
e.
Her
:l
etmegocal
lmom.
.
Shewal
kedputoftheki
tchen.Aft
erawhileshe
camebackt
ogetherwit
hIvy.Theyal
lsatdown
I
vy:
mor
ningKr
is,
i
sBandi
l
ein?
Me:
yes,
he'
sst
il
lsl
eepi
ng
Ilookedather,andshelookedli
keshedi
dn't
sleepatall
.West art
edeatingbutshewasn't
reall
yeat
ing..OnlyEnhl
eandI .
.Aft
erawhileIvy
stoodupandwal kedout.
Enhl
e:I'
m worr
iedaboutmom..
shesnotusual
l
y
l
iket
his,
Ireal
l
yhateAndil
eri
ghtnow.
.
Ir
emai
nedsi
l
ent
,af
terawhi
l
ewecl
ear
edt
he
tabl
eandwashedt hedishes.Aft
erdoingthatI
wenttoBandi
lesroom,buthewasn'tin,t
hebed
wasnotmadet hough.Iwentbacktot he
kit
chenandEnhlewasst i
llt
herebusyonher
phone.
.
Me:
hey
,hav
eyouseenBandi
l
e?
Her
:Checkont
opoft
her
oof
..
Me:
ont
opoft
her
oof
?
Her:
yeah.
.heusual
l
ygoest
her
ewhenst
ressed
usi
ngthewindowofhi
sroom.
Me:
ok
Her
:t
heyar
esay
ingI
'
m apsy
cho.
.
Me:
who?
Her :
peopl
eonFacebookandt weeter
.."
The
crazyGirl
burnsherfri
endscaraft
erseeki
ng
l
ov e""t
hebipol
argir
lneedstobelockedupwith
crazypeoplewhereshebelongs"whycan'
tthey
seeIdidn'tdoi
t?
Shesai
dwithtearsst
reami
ng.
.Iwal
kedt
oher
andhuggedher.
.
Her
:Iam notcr
azy
..
Idonthav
ebi
pol
ar.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.j
usti
gnor
ethem
Her
:Amberi
smyf
ri
end.
.Iwoul
dnev
erhur
ther
..
Shesai
dwalki
ngout.
.It
ookadeepbr
eat
h
bef
orefol
l
owingherout
side.
.
Me:peopl
earepeopl
eandtheywi
llal
way
s
t
alk.
.don'
tgi
vethem t
hesat
isf
act
ion.
.
Her
:butIdi
dn'
tdoi
t.
.
Me:moreofareasonwhyy
oushoul
dn'
tl
ist
ent
o
whatev
ertheysay
Her
:Ineedt
opr
ovet
othem t
hatI
'
minnocent
..
Me:
yes,
youwi l
l
..butf
ornowj
ustl
eav
e
t
hem..
ok..
ignor
et hem..
Her
:f
ornowIwi
i
l,doy
ouknowy
ouar
eanangel
?
Me:
soar
eyou.
.
Ihuggedherbri
efl
ybeforewalki
ngbacki
nsi
de
thehousetoBandil
esroom agai
nandthi
sti
me
hewasi n.
.hewassit
ti
ngbyt hebed.
.
Me:
hey
Helookedatmet henst
oodupwal ki
ngt owards
me.Hesmel tf
reshli
kehehadjustbathed,and
hadevenchangedbutwastopples.
Hi
m:hey
..
Me:
hangov
er?
Hi
m:deal
twi
thi
t.
.
Inodded.
.
Hehel
dmywai stpull
i
ngmet ohim andIj
ust
l
ovedt
hefeel
ofhi sbodyagai
nstmine,
it
t
angl
edsomefeelingdeepwit
hinme.
Him:
I'
m sor
ryaboutyest
erday
..Ishoul
d..
.Hav
e
camebackabitearl
i
er..
Me:
i
tsok,
j
ustknowI
'
m her
efory
ou,
al
ltheway
..
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Hesaidki
ssi
ngmyl ips,
Ihadbeencr
avingt
hat
momenteversinceIwokeup..Hepul
ledout
af
terawhil
e..
Hi
m:how'
sLeah?
Me:
God!
Ihav
en'
tcal
l
edher
..ButIwi
l
l.
.
Hi
m:thi
ngsdi
dn'
t.
.Wel
lar
en'
treal
l
ygoi
ngwel
l
wi
thherandQ.
Me:
whathappened?
Hi
m:i
tseemsl
i
key
ourgi
rlwant
scommi
tment
..
Me:
andQdoesn'
t?
Hi
m:he'
snotaguyofcommitment
..Sot
hat
s
wher
eheandLeahwentwrong.
.
Me:
Shemustbebr
oken.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.sheneedsy
ou.
.
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
andy
oual
soneedme.
.Iwi
l
lcal
lher
Hi
m:It
hinksheneedsy
oumor
ethanme.
.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:babe,
Iwantt
obeher
efory
ou,
Iwi
l
lcal
l
Leah.
.
Him:
comeonpl
usmeandthi
sisafamil
yissue
andmyfami
l
ywil
ldeal
wit
hthi
s..
youcango..
Istoodt here,
vi
sionblur
ri
ngandIcouldf
eelmy
hear tbreakbutquickl
yIbl
inkedawaymytear
s
replacingthem wit
hasmi l
e..
Me:
ohw.
.
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tmeani
t.
.-
Me:
youknowwhat
?youar
eri
ght
..
Leahneeds
me
Hi
m:babe.
.-
Me:
no,
l
ikeser
iousl
y..Shehasal
way
sbeent
her
e
f
orme.
.i
tsonl
yf ai
ryouknow
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Heki
ssedmeagai
n..
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hi
m:ok,
youwi
l
lgobypl
anel
atert
oday
..
Inodded.
.
Him:
I'
m goi
ngsomewher
eri
ghtnow.
.Iwi
l
lsee
youi
naf ewhour
s
Me:
ok.
.
Hepeckedmylipsashewentt
ohi
sclosetand
pul
ledoutaT-
shir
t.Hewor
eitt
hent
ookhiscar
key
s..
Hi
m:ok,
seey
ou.
.
Inoddedashewal kedout.Ibli
nkedawayt he
tear
sasIsatont hebed,hedoesn'tneedme,he
needshisfami l
y.
.Ithurt,
i
thurtsobad.Istood
upandt ookmyov erni
ghtbag.ThankGodIhad
myswi pingcardwi t
hme.Igr abbedmyphone
thenwentt othesitt
ingroom.Enhlewas
watchi
ngTv .
Her
:andnow?
Ithoughty
ouwer
est
ayi
ngf
ora
whi
le.
.
Justt
henI
vyemer
ged.
.
I
vy:
alr
eadyl
eav
ing?
Me:
yeah.
.Ineedt
opr
epar
eforv
arsi
ty.
.
Enhl
e:i
twoul
dhavebeenni
ceifyoustayedabi
t
more.
.soyouar
egoingt
owaitforAndil
e?
Me:
no,
hesai
dIcango.
.
I
vy:
bywhat
?bus?
lookIcan.
.-
Me:abusgiv
esmeachancet
ovi
ewSA.
.seet
he
beaut
yithol
ds.
.
Enhl
e:y
eah.
.
Me:
yes,
ummhcany
oudr
opmebyt
hebusst
op?
I
vy:
yes.
.l
et'
sgo
Weal
lwal
kedoutt
oIv
y'scar
.Shedr
ovemet
o
t
hebusst
op.
I
vy:
areyougoi
ngtobefi
neherealone.
.Orwe
wi
ll
justwai
twit
hyouunti
lthebuscomes..
Me:
no.
.i
tsok.
.Iwi
l
lbeok.
.Ipr
omi
se
I
vy:
ifitwasn'
tfortheheadacheI
'
m hav
ingI
wouldn'
tleav
ey ou..
Theyhuggedme.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lseey
ou
Enhl
e:bet
terbesoon.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Theywal
kedbacktothecarl
eavingmethere..
Aft
erawhil
eofstandi
ngther
e..
Itookmyphone
wit
hshaki
nghandsasemot i
onswerewreaking
me.Ical
l
edJoseph..
Hi
m:Kr
isMam?
Me:
hel
l
o..
I.
..
cany
oupi
ckmeup
Hi
m:wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
Capet
own.
.
Him:
ummhjustwai
tther
e..
someonewi
l
lcome
andpi
cky
ouup..
Me:
ok,
pleasedontt
ell
dad
Him:
ok..
justwaitt
heredontmov
e..
15mi
nut
es
someonewi l
lther
e..
Me:
ok,
thanky
ou
Hi
m:y
ouar
ewel
come.
.
Het henhungup.Istoodt
heret
ryi
ngsohar dt
o
fi
ghtmyt ears.Af
terawhi
leaBMW 1ser i
es
parkedbesidesme,someguygotoffand
walkedtome.
Hi
m:MsKr
ist
inMacv
erdana?
Isl
owl
ynodded.
.
Him:I
'
m DavidMolefe,andIwi
l
lbey
ourdr
iver
backtoJohannesburg..
Justt
henmyphoner
ang,
i
twasJoseph.
.
Him:
theguywhoussupposedt
opi
cky
ouupi
s
Davi
dMolefe.
.
Me:
he'
sher
e..
Hi
m:ok,
arey
ouokKr
ismam?
Me:
yeah,
al
way
s
Hi
m:ok
Ithenhungup,t
hisDav i
dguyopenedt
hedoor
formeandIgoti n.Iswit
chedmyphoneof
f
aftert
ext
ingLeaht hatI
'
m coming.
Afterawhi l
ewewer edr iv
ingawayandIkept
myt earsfall
..Myhear tbledathiswor ds"thisis
afami l
yissueandmyf ami l
ywilldealwi t
hi t"I
understandt hathe'shur tbutthatwasj ust
uncall
edf orandi tprov edeasilyhedoesn' tneed
me. .
ImightnotbeHi sf ami l
ybutIt hought
becausewear einar elati
onshipsuppor t
ing
eachotheri soneoft hekey s.Icriedsilentlyto
theagonyi nmyhear tt hatIcouldn'tshakeof f
.
DeepdownIknewnot hingwasgoi ngtomake
mef eelbetter..
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Leah:
Bandi
l
ewant
stot
alkwi
thy
ou.
.
Ikeptquitewi
thmyheadonmypi ll
owli
steni
ng
tothethrobbi
ngheadacheIwashavi
ng
obviousl
yduetocryi
ng..
Leah:Shes.
..
she'
ssl
eepi
ng.
.Ok.
.Iwi
l
ltel
l
her.
.bye
If
eltwei
ghtonmybed.
.
Leah:y
ouhav en'teatenyet
..IknowBandi l
edid
somethingobviouslybutplease..youneedto
eatsomet hi
ng..Youhav ebeenpumpi ng
painki
l
lerseversince..
babepl easetal
ktome..
Isatupst
rai
ghtt
hengotof
fthebed.
Me:
ok.Let
'sgoeat
Isai
dfaki
ngyetanot
hersmi
l
e,bl
i
nki
ngaway
tear
sagai
n..
Shel
ookedatme.
.
Her
:whatr
eal
l
yhappened?
Me:
not
hing.
.Let
'sgoeat
Her:
youcomebackfroCapetowntwodaysago
cry
ing,
youhavebeenstar
vingyour
sel
fandyou
tel
lmenothi
ng?Real
ly?
Me:
yeahcome.
.
Isai
dpul
l
ingherhandt
otheki
tchen.
.
Me:t
odayit
sTuesday
,tomor
rowschool
.
.I'
m
exci
ted.
.
Her
:pl
easet
alkt
ome.
.
Me:I
'm ok..
justhadali
tt
lear
gumentwit
h
Bandi
le..
I'
mj ustacr
ybaby..
not
hingbi
g
Shel
ookedatme.
.
Her
:knowt
hatI
'
m her
eify
ouwantt
otal
k..
.
InoddedasItooktheeggs.Afterawhil
ewe
werewatchi
ngTveat i
ngwhenwehear da
knockonthedoor.Leahstoodupandwentto
getit
..
Shegotinaft
erawhi l
ewi t
hBandil
e
behi
ndher.IputbackmyFr enchtoast
.
Leah:
Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
sspace.
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngt
oherr
oom.
Hi
m:soy
oudeci
dedt
orunaway
?
Me:no,
Ideci
dedt
ogi
vey
ouandy
ourf
ami
l
y
space.
.
Hi
m:y
ouknowIdi
dn'
tmeani
tLi
ket
hat
..
Me:i
tsok,
Iunder
stand.
.Ij
ustdeci
dedt
ogive
youguysspace.
.Soyoudealwit
hthei
ssue.
.
Hi
m:t
henwhyar
eignor
ingme?
Me:Iwasgi
vi
ngy
ouspacesi
nceIknowmy
pl
acewithy
ou
Hi
m:see,
youar
emad.
.
Me:
I'
m not
..
Hesati
nthesmal
ltabl
eint
hemi
ddl
eoft
he
si
tt
ingr
oom f
aci
ngme.
Me:
Iwasj
ustpr
epar
ingf
orschool
.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.
Me:
whyar
eyouapol
ogi
zi
ng?Youdi
dnot
hing
wr
ong.
.
Hi
m:dontdot
his.
.
Me:
I'
m notdoi
ngany
thi
ng.
.How'
sEnhl
e?
Hi
m:shesseei
ngaTher
api
st.
..
Me:
good
Hekeptqui
tel
ooki
ngatme.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
.
Inodded.
.
Me:
yeah
Hest
oodupwi
thhi
shandsonhi
shead.
Hi
m:howcanIf
ixt
his?
Me:
not
hingi
sbr
oken.
.
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tmeant
opushy
ouaway
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:saysomet
hing
Me:
Ihav
enot
hingt
osay
..
Mytearswereatthei
redgenow,
pushingthem
awaywasn'tsomethi
ngIwasgoi
ngt okeepup
formuchlonger
.
Heheldmyhandsbr i
ngi
nghi
sfaceclosert
o
mine,
brushedhi
sli
psonminenibbl
i
ngt hen
softl
ythen,
Ipar
tedmyl i
psashi stoungewent
i
nsidemymout hmaki ngmyt oungerollwithhis.
Hepul l
edoutaft
erwhilesucki
ngmyl owerlipa
bitbefor
ecompletel
ylett
ingmego. .Icouldfeel
tearswetti
ngmychicksandqui ckl
yIwi ped
them away.
Hi
m:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Inoddednott
rust
ingmyv
oicet
hatmuch.
.
Hehuggedmemaki ngmefor
gethowsadIhad
beenf
orthepast2days.
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:y
ourbodyt
emper
atur
e..
Ipul
l
edoutoft
hehug.
.
Me:
I'
m ok.
.j
ustaheadache.
Hi
m:di
dyoudr
inkpai
nki
l
ler
s?
Me:
no.
..
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
.
Me:
gowher
e?
Hi
m:l
et'
sjustgo
Me:
I'
minPJ'
sincasey
oudon'
treal
i
ze
Hi
m:i
tdoesn'
tbot
herme.
.
Wewal
kedoutofthefl
ataf
terawhi
l
e,wentt
o
t
hegar
ageandstr
aightt
ohiscar
.
Hedr
oveout
..
Hi
m:whendi
dtheheadachest
art
?
Icoul
dn'texact
lyt
ell
him ev
ersi
ncetheni
ghtI
spentathismother
shouseIhavebeenhavi
ng
headachesthatmakesmeov er
dosepai
nki
ll
ers.
Me:
i
nthemor
ning.
.
Hi
m: andyourey
esar
eswol
l
en.
.Youhav
ebeen
cr
ying..
Ikeptqui
tel
ooki ngoutthr
oughthewindow.
Therestoft
hej ourneywassil
entt
heonlything
thatmadenoisewast heradi
o.Moment sl
ater
hiscarwasparkedi nhi
sgarageathi
shouse.
Wegotoffhi
scarandhel
edmei
nsi
det
he
house.
Hi
m:l
etmegetpai
nki
l
ler
sfory
ou.
.
Hewenttohi
sroom l
eav
ingmeinthesit
ting
r
oom.Isatdown,
andswit
chedontheTv.After
awhi
lehecamebackgavemepill
sthenwent
t
otheki
tchenandcamebackwit
hwat er
..
Hi
m:dr
ink
It
ookt
hewat
eranddr
ankt
hepi
l
ls.
Hesatnextt
omemaki
ngmel
i
emyheadonhi
s
l
ap.
Hi
m:yourbodyt
emper
atur
eisget
ti
ngme
wor
ri
ed..
Me:Iwil
lbeok.
.t
her
e'snot
hingt
ogetwor
ri
ed
about.
.
Hekissedmycheek.Isatupst
rai
ghtasIhear
d
oneofthesongsIl
ikeplay
..
Me:
Il
iket
hissong
Hi
m:t
igi
?
Me:
yes,
Imightnotunder
standsomeot
her
wor
dsbutIli
keit.
.
Hi
m:l
etmesi
ngi
tfory
ou.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
thef
loori
syour
s.
Hestar
tedsi
ngi
ngal
ongwi
tht
hesongmaki
ng
melaugh.
.
Me:ai
ist
op..
yourterr
ibl
evoi
cei
smaki
ngt
he
songsoundhorr
ible.
.
Hi
m:l
i
es.
.i
tsmuchmor
eni
cer
..
Me:
theper
sonwhol
i
edt
oyou.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
ejeal
ousofme
Il
aughed.
.Il
aymyheadbackonhi
slapagai
n.
Me:
tomor
rowi
tsor
ient
ati
on.
.
Hi
m:y
eah,
tel
lthoseboy
syouar
etaken.
.
Igi
ggl
ed.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
.i
ncapi
tal
let
ter
s..
Hi
m:good.
.Idon'
twantt
oki
l
lany
one.
.
It
urnedt
olookathi
m..
Him:Il
ovey
outoomuchthatIwi
l
lkil
lfory
ou,
I
dontwantt
olosey
outosomeboy .
.
Me:wel
lyouwon'
tbecausemyey
esar
eonl
yfor
you.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Me:i
sEnhlei
nament
ali
nst
it
uti
onorpsy
ch-
what
ever
?
Him:y
es,sor
tof.
..
shedi
dn'
twantt
obecauseshe
bel
ievesnot
hingiswr
ongwit
hher.
.
Me:
i
sshehur
ttobet
her
e?
Hi
m:y
esbutIt
oldhert
hiswi
l
lhel
phercase.
.
Me:
whataboutI
vy?
If
elthi
smuscl
est
ense.
.
Hi
m:IdontknowandIdontcar
e..
Me:thef
actthatshe'
syourmotherwi
ll
never
changeaslongasshegav ebi
rt
htoyou..
Him:whatki
ndofamot
herwat
chesher
daught
erbeing.
..
Me:
whatwashersi
deoft
hest
ory
?
Hi
m:canwenott
alkaboutI
vy.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:wannagooutf
ordi
nner
?
Me:
ummh.
.
Him:t
omakeupf
orbei
ngaj
erkandan
asswhor
e
Me:
okbutI
'
m sl
eepi
ngatmyhouse.
.
Hi
m:ofcause.
.
Wechat tedwhilewatchi
ngTvandIguessIf ell
asl
eepwhi l
eStil
lwatchi
ngTv.Iwokeupf eel
i
ng
abitcold,Il
ookedaroundandIreali
zedIwasin
Bandil
esr oom,onhisbedwit
habl anket
coveri
ngmyl owerbody.
Istoodupandl
ookedoutsidethr
oughthe
window,i
twasabi
tdark.Iwenttothebat
hroom
andwashedmyface,
comi ngbackinsi
dethe
room hewasnowsit
ti
ngonhi sbed.
Hi
m:fi
nal
l
yyouar
eawake,
Iwasst
art
ingt
oget
wor
ri
ed.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m oknow,
theheadachei
sgone.
.
Hest
oodupandcamet
omepl
aci
nghi
shand
onmyfor
ehead.
Hi
m:t
het
emper
atur
ehasal
sogonedown.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:mhhm
Hesai
dalr
eadyki
ssi
ngmepul
l
ingmecl
oser
.I
pul
l
edoutaft
erawhi
le.
.
Me:
I'
m not
..
-
Hi
m:Iwil
l.
..
Iwi
l
ldr
ivey
out
othehospi
tal
t
omorrow..
Heki ssedmeagainpulli
ngmemuchmor e
closermakingmef eelhi
shardcock."Imissed
you"hewhi sper
edasheki ssedmyneckandI
ti
ltedmyheadgivinghim bet
teraccess.He
stoppedafterawhile.
.
Hi
m:wannabat
hwi
thme?
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ltaket
hatasay
es.
.
hethenwalkedt
othebathr
oom l
eav
ingme
hangi
ng,af
terawhil
eIheardt
hewaterr
unand
hecamebackafterawhil
e.
Hi
m:comel
et'
sgobat
h..
Me:
youar
eser
ious.
.
Hi
m:y
es,
plusI
'
mtr
yingt
osav
ewat
er.
.
Ichuckl
edwal kingtothebat
hroom wi
thhi
m.
Heclosedthet apeswhenwegott her
e.Hehad
fi
ll
edthetubwi thwaterandfoam.He'
sphone
star
tedri
nging,Ilookedathi
m.
Him:
I'
m sorr
y,Iwi
l
lgoswi
tchi
tof
fmeanwhi
l
e
geti
nsi
de..
Hewal kedoutl eavi
ngmeundr essingthenIgot
i
nt othebathtub.Thewat erwassowar mt hatI
closedmyey esenjoyi
ngit.Moment sl
aterIfel
t
thewat err
ising,
thenfol
lowedbyt hefeelofhis
bodyonmi ne.Iopenedmyey es.
Hi
m:Ihat
ebat
hingi
nabat
htub.
.
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:i
tssl
ow.
.
Me:
buther
eyouar
etoday
..
Hi
m:yes,I
'
m wit
hyouandt
hatchanges
ev
ery
thing..
Iblushedl
ooki
ngawayfrom hi
m.Ifelthi
s
handsonmyboobs,massagingsoft
lythatmy
eyesagaincl
osedj
ustenjoy
ingit
.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
Let'
skeeponcomment
ingandli
ki
ngguys.Your
eff
orti
sreal
l
yappr
eci
ated.
.Lot
soflov
efrom
me
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
(
Notedi
ted)
#I
nser
t29PART1
KRI
S
.
.
Ipul
l
edoutoft
heki
ssaf
terawhi
l
e.
Me:
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng.
.
Hi
m:goodl
uckont
omor
row.
.
Me:
yeah.
.I
'
m soscar
ed
Hi
m:i
tsy
ourf
ir
stt
ime.
.
Me:
wher
eyoual
soscar
ed?
Hi
m:no.
.
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
.
Him:dr
inky
ourpai
nki
l
ler
ssot
hati
tsnotmuch
pai
nful
..
Me:
ok,
andt
hanky
ouf
ordi
nner
,i
twasni
ce
Hi
m:Iai
mtopl
ease.
.
IopenedthedoorandIgotinwit
hhi
m behi
nd
me,Leahwassitt
ingonthecouchwat
chi
ngTV.
Leah:
hey
,Bandi
l
e
Bandi
l
e:Leah.
.okIwi
l
lseey
ou
Hepeckedmyl
i
psandwal
kedout
.
Leah:
Iseey
ouar
emuchbet
ter
..comesi
t
Me:
I'
mti
red,
Iwantt
osl
eep.
.
Her:
yeah,
Iknowbutj
ustcomesi
tforaf
ew
seconds.
.
Iwal
kedt
oherandcar
eful
l
ysatbesi
desher
.
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Shesqueezedmybut
tabi
t.
Me:
ouch.
..
dontdot
hat
..
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:inj
ect
ion.
.Thatsgoodatl
eastnow
pr
egnancyisoutoftheway
.
Me:y
eah.
.t
helastthi
ngIwanti
sget
ti
ng
pr
egnant
,I'
m st
il
lyoung
Her
:youar
eri
ght
,y
ouwantf
ood?
Me:
no,
Iat
e,Bandi
l
etookmeoutf
ordi
nner
Her
:bef
oreoraf
tert
hei
nject
ion?
Me:bef
oreobvi
ousl
y.
.Het
ookmet
othedoct
or
af
terdi
nner.
.
Her
:ok.
.I
'
m wat
chi
ngsomemov
ie,
wannaj
oin
me?
Me:
no,
Ithi
nkIwi
l
ljustgoandsl
eep.
.
Her
:Qcal
l
ed.
.
Me:
hedi
d?whatdi
dhesay
?
Her
:he'
swi
l
ltot
ryandcommi
t.
.
Me:
Ihopey
oudon'
tgethur
tatt
heend.
.
Her:
Itol
dhim no,Ican'
tev
ent aket
heri
sk.
.i
fwe
aremeanttobet henwewi l
lfi
ndourwayback
toeachotherbutfornowno
Me:
ok.
.l
etmegoandsl
eep.
.
Istoodupandwal
kedt
omyr oom,t
ookaqui ck
showerbefor
eget
ti
ngi
ntobed.Thefoll
owing
dayIwaswokenupbymyphoner i
nging,i
twas
Bandil
e.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hey
,ummhI
'
m goi
ngt
oCapet
ownt
oday
..
Me:
ohw,
i
sEnhl
eok?
Hi
m:y
es.
..
shesok,
j
usthav
etosor
taf
ewst
uff
..
Me:
ohwok,
hav
easaf
ejour
ney
..
Hi
m:y
eah,
how'
syourass?
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:ok,
Il
ovey
ousomuch
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
.
Het henhungup, Ithengotof fbedandwent
straighttothebat hroom.Af terbathing,Iwalked
backt omyr oom anddr essedupi nabl ue
fadedr ippedjeanwi thbluesneaker s,acr optop
andf i
nisheditoffwithabi toversizeddeni m
shirtandacap.Af tercl
ot hi
ngmy self,
Iwal ked
toLeah' sroom.Shewasbusyf i
xinghermake
up.Af terawhi l
eshest oodup, shewaswear ing
ami dt highjumpsui twhichexposedhert hi
ghs.
Anankl ebootandahandbagwhi chmat ched
herjumpsui t,herhairwast iedintoaneatbun.
Shel ookedr eall
ybeautiful.
Her
:youl
ooksosexy
..
Me:
andy
oul
ookf
lawl
ess.
.
Her:
Ihaveneverseenyouweari
ngmake-
up.
..
Butyoualway
sl ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:
Ihat
emake-up.
.AnywayI'
m hungry
..Let
'
s
gopr
eparesomet
hingbef
oreweleave.
Wewentt
otheki
tchen.
.
Her
:soar
eweusi
ngy
ourcarormi
ne?
Me:yours?Idontr
ememberonceseei
ngy
our
carhere..
Her
:yeah,
becauseitsatt
hefarendoft
he
gar
ageandIpai nt
editbl
ue.
.
Me:
ohw,
any
thi
ngi
sok.
.
Her
:wewi
l
lusey
our
s..
.
Wepreparedsomethingormakei
tIpr
epared
somethi
ngasshewasbusyonhernails.Af
ter
cooki
ngwest ar
tedeati
ng.
Her
:how'
syourbut
t?
Ichuckl
ed
Me:wellt
hepainisnolongert
her
eunl
essI
squeeze,
thankyouforaski
ng
Her
:ok.
.
Aft
ereat i
ngwet ooksomef ewmi rr
orselfi
es
beforeheadingout.IusedmyGPt ogetthe
di
rections.I
nabout30mi nutesIwaspar ki
ngat
oneoft heparki
nglotsint heuni
versit
y.The
uni
v er
sitywasjustbreathtaki
ngfrom outsi
de.
Leah:
thi
sisexci
ti
ng.
.
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
.
Withconfidencewewal kedi n.Basi call
ywe
werebeenshownourl ecturers, thoughIwasn' t
withLeahasshesnotdoi ngt hesamedegr ee
withme.I twasf un,Iwaswi tht hisothergirlher
namei sAv isbutshei nsistedIcal lherAve.We
evenhadt hepr evi
laget omeet ,
CaltonHami l
ton.
Oneoft hebestcr iminal l
awy er s,i
twasv ery
mot i
vati
ngashel etusknowt hati twasn'teasy
atallconsideri
ngt hefactt hathewasan
orphanatf ir
stbutt henlatergotadopt edby
somecoupl ewhomanagedt ogethi mt o
school,
hisst epdadwasmur der edaf ewy ears
ago.Heemphasi zedt hef actt hatbei ngan
orphandi dn'tst ophimf r
om achi evi
nghis
dreams,itdidn' tstophimf rom sett
inggoals.
Whowoul dev erthoughtt hebestlawy erout
theresufferedwheny oung?May bethefactthat
he'swhitebi asedmymi ndt hatmuch.Af t
erall
theint
roduct ionsandev erybasicthingwe
probablyneedt oknowt heyr eal
i
sedus.I
walkedtot hecarwi thAv e,
shewasbubbl es
ever.
Ave:Ir
eall
ythi
nkhe'
shot
,bey
ondhot
..
li
keoutof
thi
swor l
dhot.
.
Shest
art
edf
anni
ngherf
ace.Il
aughedather
si
ll
i
ness.
Me:
stopbei
ngcr
azy
Her
:t
ell
mehesnothot
..
.
Me:
hesj
ustok.
.
Her:
Igiveuponyou,
I'
m soexci
tedaboutt
his.
.I
canjustseemysel
fbei
ngcall
edout.
.Avi
s
Ndamo. .
myfamil
ybackinZambiawil
lbeso
happy
..
Me:
youar
efr
om Zambi
a?
Her
:yes,
you?
Me:
Bot
swana.
.
Her
:myMom st
aysi
nBot
swana.
.
Me:
ohw,
youwi
l
lhav
etov
isi
tmeoneday
..
Her
:yes.
.
Iwal
kedhert
omycar
.
Her
:Il
i
key
ourcar
..
Me:t
hanks,
l
etmecal
lmyf
ri
endandseewher
e's
she.
.
Her
:ok.
.
Shestoodbesi
desmeasIcal
l
edLeah.She
answeredaf
terawhi
l
e.
Her
:hey
Me:
hey
,I
'm done
Her
:I
'm comi
ng.
.
Me:
ok
ThenIhungup,
Ibr
owsedthroughmy
phone,
Bandi
l
ehadn'tcommunicat
edwithme
yetandapar
tofmegotworriedsoIdecidedt
o
texthi
m.
"Hey,
j
ustchecki
ngifyouhadasafejour
ney
.
Ori
entat
ionwentwell
.Hopeyouok..Il
oveyou
somuch,cal
lme"
.
BANDI
LE
.
Iheldmyheadi nf
rustr
ati
on.Iknewitwouldbe
l
ikethisbutsomehowIjustdecidednottocare.
IlookedatMaxwhol ookedatmewi ththeItol
d
yousol ook.
Hi
m:andnowwhat?Itol
dyouTay
lor
'sdaught
er
wasapr
oblem f
rom t
hestar
t.
Q:
i
tsoutofhandnow.
.
Max:
i
fhehasav
ideoofusKi
l
li
ngCy
bil
li
tsov
er
Q:
consequencesofr
obbi
ngsomer
ichbust
ard!
Me:
fuck!
Max:
all
youneedtodoi
sleav
eKr
ist
in
Macv
erdanaal
one.
.
Q:
orkeepi
tlow
Max:andyoudontthi
nkheswatchi
ng?Hes
goi
ngt omakesureBandil
egoesdownbadl
y
andtakeuswit
hhimi nthepr
ocess.
.
Me:
she'
sgoi
ngt
ohur
t,
badl
y.
.
Max:
that
swhyIhat
ethi
slov
eshi
t.
.
Q:
sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
odowhatcanonl
ybedone.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
Af ewhourslaterIwaswithDrMelt
onasshe
bri
efedmeonEnhl escase.Mymindwasn't
reall
yther
e,i
twasj ustst
uckonKri
s.Howmy
heartbeatforherandIdontthi
nkIwil
lev
erlov
e
any
onel
i
keIl
oveher
DrMel
ton:
umm MrThul
ani
,
youst
il
lher
e?
Me:
ohsor
ry,
what
?
Her:
Iwassayingweneedt
ogetLetti
etr
ustus.
.
Thesoonersheopensupthesonnerwecanbe
abl
etodissol
veher
.
Me:
oh,
sowhat
'st
hewayf
orwar
d?
Her:
weget
tingthereevent
houghsomet
imes
shegetal
i
ttlev
iolent
.
Me:
vi
olent
?
Her:
yes,sheat t
ackedoneoft hesecuri
tyguards
buti
twasn' tthatmuchserious..I
tsnormalfor
Let
ti
et odot hat,
shehasissues..
Me:
wil
lEnhl
eev
ergetbackt
onor
mal
?
Her
:shewi
l
l,
justpat
ience.
.
Me:
canIseeher
?
Her
:ok
Shewal kedmet othewards,unt
ilwegotto
somer oom.Sheopenedt hedoorandgotin
accompani edbythesecuri
tyguard.Ist
oodat
thedoorandshel ookedrat
herlost.
DrMel
ton:
ummhEnhl
elook.
.
Shet
urnedandl
ookedatme,i
mmedi
atel
y
j
umpeddownandattackedmewi
thhug.
Her
:youpr
omi
sedt
oseemeev
ery
day
..
Me:I
'
m sor
ry,
Ihav
ebeenabi
tbusybutI
'
m her
e
now
Her
:I
'm notcr
azy
Me:
Iknow.
.Iknow.
.
Iwhi
sper
edki
ssi
ngherf
oreheadsof
tl
y.
.
Her
:pr
omi
sey
ouwon'
tev
erl
eav
eme.
.
Me:
Ipr
omi
se.
.
Her
:wher
e'smom?
Me:
shescomi
ng
Shenodded.
.
Her
:Iwantt
ogobackt
oschool
Me:
youwi
l
l.
.Soon
Her
:OK,
sohow'
sKr
is?
Me:
we.
..
ummhshesgood
Her
:ohw,
nexthercomewi
thherok?
I
fonl
ysheknew.
..
.
KRI
S
.
Af
terawhi
l
eLeahcame.
Leah:
hey
..
Shel
ookedatAv
e.
Me:
ummhLeaht hi
sisAv
e,af
ri
endandAv
ethi
s
i
sLeah,
mybest
ie..
Leah:ohwnicet
omeety
oubutwhydoy
ou
havepurpl
ehair
?
Av
e:becauseIwantt
o..
Leah:
youl
ookwei
rd.
.
Av
e:y
oul
ookl
i
keacal
lgi
rl
..
Leahchuckl
ed,
Icl
ear
edmyt
hroati
mmedi
atel
y.
.
Me:ummhAv edoy
ouhav
eacarorshoul
dI
dr
opy ouof
f?
Ave:Idon'thaveacarbutthelastthi
ngIwoul d
doisgowi thsomeonewhot hinksshe'
sbetter
thanevery oneel
sebecauseSheswhi tebut
surpri
singlyshesi
nablackpeopl e'
scountr
y.
Shesai
dlooki
ngatLeahbef
orewal
ki
ngaway
..
Me:
Avewai
t.
.
Av
e:seey
out
omor
row.
.
Shescr
eamedasshewasabi
tdi
stantf
rom us.
Me:
whatwast
hat
?
Leah:
what
?
Me:
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
ou.
.
Isaidwalkingintomycar .Shegoti naftera
whileandimmedi at
elyIdrov eushome.Ar r
ivi
ng
thereIwentst r
aighttomyr oom andstarted
tal
kingwithTshepi eonWhat sApp.Hehadnt
receiv
edhisAccept anceletteryetbutitwas
onlyadayort wol eft
,evenforDy l
anandBK.
Theonl ypersonwhogotaccept edwasAnt ony
andhewasal readypreparingtoleave.Aftera
whileoftalki
ngwi thTshepieIf i
nal
lydecidedt o
callBandil
e.Heanswer edont he4thri
ng.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hi
Hi
stonewasj
ustset
ti
ngof
f.
Me:
didy
ouar
ri
vesaf
ely
?
Hi
m:y
es,
I
'm sor
ryIshoul
dhav
ecal
l
ed.
.
Me:
Isentat
ext
Hi
m:ohw.
.
Me:
arey
ouok?
Hi
m:y
es.
.
Me:
i
sEnhl
eok?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
yourt
one.
.y
ousounddi
ff
erent
..
Hi
m:j
ustwor
k,not
hingIcan'
tcont
rol
Me:
ok,
Imi
ssy
oual
ready
Hi
m:met
oo
Me:
whenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
Hi
m:I
'
m notsur
e..
Me:
ok
Het
ookaheav
ysi
gh.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lyou.
.
Me:
ohwOK
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ousomuch.
..
Heari
nghim saythatmademyhear
tjump
becauseofj
oy .
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
eNdi
l
e..
Hi
m:okby
e
Me:
bye
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Andthatwasthelastt i
meIheardfr
om him.Its
beenaweekandnev erhashebother
edt ocall
oreventextme.Itr
iedcall
inghi
m butitalways
l
eadmet ovoi
cemail.Ihav
espentsomef ew
dayscry
ing,cr
yingforthelov
eofmyl i
fe,f
orthe
manwhomakesmehappyandi thurts.
School hasbeenok, I
'
m sti
ll
learningt heropes.
ItwasonaThur sdayandIwasj ustwat ching
somemov i
eori nst eadthemov iewaswat ching
mebecausemymi ndwasj ustnott here.Leah
wasbusyi nherr oom napping.It ookmyphone
onel astti
meandcal ledhi
m andasusual
voicemai l
.Ihadev enwentt othehei ghtsof
call
ingQaf t
erIgothi snumberf r
om Leahbut
heal sodidn'tknow. Isenthi
m at ext
again,probablyforhundr edt
ht i
me.
"Hey,
i
tsmeagain..
Ijustwantedt ochecki
fyou
areok..
I'
m wor
ri
edBandile.Pleasecallme.I
l
ov eyousomuch"
Ipressedsendandj ustclosedmyey est
ight
ly
tr
yingtokeepawayt het ears.Iopenedmyey es
asmyphonest artedringing,Iheldmybreathas
Ihelditonl
ytoreali
zeitwasAv e.
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Her
:so,
youwannahangoutt
oday
?
Me:ummh..
todayi
sn'
treal
l
ygoodbutt
omor
row
I
'm game.
.
Her:
ok,
youcan'
tbr
ingy
ourMsI
'
m bet
tert
han
al
l
Il
aughedabi
t.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:Iwi
l
ltexty
out
het
imeandpl
ace.
Me:
ok
Shethenhungup, suchaf reesoul,somet i
mesI
j
ustwishIcanbehappyev er
ydaylikeother
peopl
ebutonl yBandilecanmanagebuthe' s
nothere.Ihavebeenav oidingcall
ingEnhl es
numberbecauseIdontt hinktheyletherusea
phone,
may behesbusywi thhissisterand
mother,af
teral
li
tsaf ami l
ymat ter
..Buttoo
busytosendat ext?
Itookadeepbreat
htr
yingt
obr
ushawayt
he
negati
vet
houghts.
Therestoft
hedayIj
ustsati
nfr
ontoft
heTv
st
ressi
ngabouthi
m.
Maybei
tsbecauseIl
ovedhimtoomuchandI
hav
egaveupmuchf orthi
srel
ati
onshi
p.
LaterthatdayIst
oodupandwalkedt
oLeah'
s
room,shewasbusysmili
ngonherphoneal
one.
Shenot i
cedmeaf t
erawhil
e..
Her
:hey
!hashecal
l
ed?
Ishookmyhead.
.
Her
:may
behegoti
nanacci
dentandhegothur
t.
Me:
I'
m wor
ri
ed.
.
Her
:l
et'
scal
lQagai
n..
Shetookoutherphoneandcall
edhi
m.He
answeredal
mostimmediatel
y.
.
Hi
m:Leah.
.
Leah:
hey
,i
sBandi
l
eback?
Him:no.
.Ihaven'tseenhi
m butI
'
m sur
ehes
busywit
hhi ssister
Leah:
thathef
orgothehasagi
rl
fr
iend?
Him:
its.
.-
lookit
s..
GodIdontknow..
He'
ssist
er
andfamil
yar emuchmoreimportantt
hanakid
gi
rl
fr
iend.
Leah:
ki
d?hedi
dn'
tsayt
hatwhenhewasf
ucki
ng
her!
Hi
m:I
'
m sur
ehef
oundsomeonehi
sage.
.
Shehungupal
mosti
mmedi
atel
y.
Her
:scumbag!
Me:i
tsok.
.I
'
m sur
ehessi
steri
skeepi
nghi
m
busy
..
Her
:yeahummhwannagoout
?
Me:
no.
.It
hinkI
'
mjustgoi
ngt
osl
eep
Her
:ar
eyouok?
ohst
upi
dquest
ion.
.Let
'
swat
ch
amovie.
.
Me:
ummhi
mti
red.
.Ial
soneedmybeaut
ysl
eep.
.
Justt
hent
her
ewasaknockont
hedoor
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgeti
t.
.
Iwalkedtothedoorandt
heknobwasalr
eady
tur
ning.Bandi
lest
eppedi
n,l
ooki
ngokt
ome. .
Hi
m:hey
..
AsmuchasIwasmadIwentandgav
ehi
ma
ti
ghthug,
Icoul
dfi
nal
l
ybr
eat
h.
Me:Iwasworr
ied,
Ithoughtsomet
hingbad
happened.
HeHuggedmeal
so,
bur
yingmei
nhi
sst
rong
ar
ms.Aft
erawhi
l
eheletgo.
.
Hi
m:wantt
ocomeov
ert
omyhouse?
Me:
ok
Iwal
kedt
oLeah'
sroom.
Her
:smi
l
eal
ready
?ai
n'
twemour
ningBandi
l
e?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngov
ert
ohi
shouse.
.
Her
:he'
sback?
Inoddedbeami
ng.
Her
:ok,
ni
gganeedssomepuni
shment
..
Me:
yeah,
Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row
Her
:ok
Iwalkedbackt
othesi
tt
ingr
oom andwassi
tt
ed
wit
hhi sey
escl
osed.
Me:
I'
mready
..
Heopenedhi
sey
esandst
oodup.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
.
Wewentt ohi
scarandhedr oveustohishouse.
Heseemedabi tl
ost.
.l
ikehewast r
oubl
edor
somethi
ng.Nowordswer eexchangeddur
ing
thewhol
ejour
ney..
Wefinal
lyarri
vedathi
shouseandhepar
ked
i
mmedi atel
ygetti
ngof
fandcomingtomydoor
andopenedf orme.
Igotof fandwewenti nsidet hehouse.Assoon
aswegoti nhepushedmeagai nstt hedoor
gi
v i
ngonehel li
fakiss.Hepassi onat elyki
ssed
mehar d.Itjustdidn'
tendatki ssing,itended
withhim maki nggentleslowl ovetome.Hehas
neverdonet hattomeandi tmademef eel
specialandl oved.I
twasn' tjustsex, i
twasl ove
makingmi xedwi t
hemot ionsi nev erycorner.
Myheadwasonhi schestaf tercat chingour
breaths.Hest oodupaf terawhi l
eandwor ehis
boxers.
Hi
m:Iwantt
otel
lyousomet
hing.
.
Isatupr
ight
,cov
eri
ngmyuppernakedbody
wi
tht
hebl
anket
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Hi
m:I
..
.-
Heranhi
shandinHishai
rinf
rust
rat
ion.I
st
art
edgett
ingscar
ed.
Me:
i
sev
ery
thi
ngok?
Hi
m:y
eah,
j
ustt
hatIdontl
ovey
ouany
mor
e..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:ok,
that
sfunny
..
babypl
easecomesl
eep.
.i
ts
l
ate
Het
ookadeepbr
eat
h.
Hi
m:I
'
m ser
ious
Me:
Bandi
l
epl
easecomesl
eep.
.
Isai
dly
ingback.
Hi
m:Idontwanttodothisanymor
ei'
m nogood
f
oryou,
Ishoul
dletyouleave.
.
Me:
what
?
Him:
I'
m nogoodforyou,
youcan'
tgiv
emewhat
Iwant
..
youarest
il
lababyKri
s..
Ineedsomeone
whocanhandleme..
Ilookedathi mfr
ozen,
thi
swasn'
tajoke
anymor e,hewasseri
ousandIcoul
dn'thel
pthe
tearsthatstungmyeyes.
Me:pleasedont.
.dontl
eaveme..
Ilov
e
you.
.pleasedonthurtme.Whatam idoi
ng
wrong?
Him:not
hing.
.Ij
ust
..
I'
m notf
eel
i
ngt
his
anymore.
.
Me:
buty
ousai
dyoul
oveme
Hi
m:Iknow.
.Idon'
tany
mor
e..
Il
ookedathi m,
hopingtofindsomethingbutit
wasn'
tthere.Il
ookedup,toavoidcr
ying.
.Istood
upandpickedmycl othesfrom t
hefl
oorand
worethem..
Me:
Iwantt
ogo.
.
If
eltused,
Ifel
tmyhear
tbr
eak,
Ifel
tdi
rt
y,
smal
l
.
Whycan'
tIbehappy
?li
keot
herpeopl
e?
Idi
dn'treal
i
zeIwascry
ingti
l
lIf
elthi
sar
mson
me,Ipushedhi
m awaywit
hthel
astener
gyIhad.
Me:
why
?ify
ounev
erl
ovedwhywoul
dyoul
i
e?
Iwhi
sper
edast
ear
sst
reamed.
.
Me:Il
ov eyou,
pleasedontdot
hist
ome.
please
dontbreakmyhear t.
Iknewast r
ongst
orm wascomingmyway ,
I
couldntdoany
thi
ngtostopi
tanditwasgoi
ng
tokil
lme!

.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
Guysit
'
sshort
,Iknow..
Iwill
trytoposttomorr
ow.
Ihavemyart
wor kI'
m worki
ngonandi tshoul
d
besubmit
tedonMonday .Pleasebarewithme.I
l
ovey'
all
,
pleasekeepthecomment
sand
l
i
kes.
..
.Il
ovey ouguysbi
gtime!
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t29PART2
KRI
S
.
.
Ilookedathim,cl
umsi l
ywipingawaymyt ears.
Thisistheguywhot ol
dmewewoul dfi
ghtfor
ourlove,
throughthickandthin,
theguyIgav eup
myi nnocencefor,t
heguyIcamet oschoolin
SouthAf r
icaforandallint
henameofl ovebut
todayhedoest his?
Me:
ok,
fi
ne.
Isai
dasIwi pedthet
ear
sonmyf
aceput
ti
ngup
asmileofdefeat
.
Me:
l
etmegetgoi
ng,
ther
e'snot
hingf
ormeher
e.
Hi
m:babei
t'
s.
.-
Me:
babe?Thatshi
phassunkappar
ent
ly.
Hi
m:dontbel
i
ket
hat
..
Me:
ohw?bel
i
kewhatexactl
y?i
fyoudon'
twant
t
odropmehomeIwil
lcall
Leah.
Hehel dhi
sheadasIwor emyshoes.Iwal ked
outofhisroom goingdownstai
rs.Eachst ep
mademer eal
izehowmuchIhadj ustcrushed.
I
tslikeever
ycornerIturntoi
sjustaf ai
landit
neverseemstost op.Bythet
imeIgott ot he
doorhewast herebehindmehol di
ngmef rom
behind.
Me:
l
etgo.
.
Tearswerealr
eadyst
reami
ng,
Ijustf
eltbr
oken
beyondrepai
r.
Me:wasthisyourpl
an?toscrewmet henleave
me?isthi
sy ourwayofgetti
ngbackatSam? for
yourexwifeorwhateveryoucal
lher?wel
l i
fiti
s
t
henwel l
doneBandi l
e..Wel
ldone,
braveplan
Hi
m:y
ouknowt
hat
snott
rue.
.Il
o..
.shi
t!
Me:
Iwantt
ogo,
l
etmego.
.
Hi
m:noti
nthi
sst
ate.
.
Iopenedthedoorpushi
nghi
m away.Get
ti
ng
outsi
deIbumpeduntoMJcausinghimto
al
mostf al
l.
Hi
m:ummmhKr
is?
Inoddedwi
pingof
fmyt
ear
s.
Hi
m: andsowemeetagai
nbutwhyar
eyou
cr
ying?
Il
ookedatBandi
lewhowasj
uststandi
ngt
here
tr
yingt
ofi
gureoutwhat
sgoi
ngthenbackatMJ.
Sl
owl
yIshookmyhead.
Me:
i
tsnot
hing,
cany
ougi
vemeal
i
ft?
Bandi
l
echuckl
ed.
Bandi
l
e:r
eal
l
y?
MJ:
ummhGod!
I.
..
MrThul
ani
I,
ummhIwassent
wi
thummht
het
hingf
ort
hecompany
..Ummh
t
he.
.
Bandi
l
e:y
eah,
Stev
ecal
l
edme.
MJ:
yes,
youmi
ghtwantt
olookatt
his.
.
Hesai
dgi
vi
ngBandi
l
esomeenv
elope.
Ashedi
dthatIt
ext
edLeaht
ocomepi
ckmeup.
MJ:
that
sal
l
,hav
eagooddayMrThul
ani
MJwalkedt
ohiscarbutst
oppedal
ongway
andl
ookedatme.
MJ:
sti
l
lupf
ort
hel
i
ft?
Inoddedwal kingtowar dshim,Itookonelast
glanceatNdi le,hi
sexpr essi
onwassomet hingI
wasn' texpect i
ng, helookedhur t,
conf
used,lost
andf ort hesecondt i
meIcoul dseepaininhis
eyes.Ilookedawayandgoti nMJ'scar.Heal so
gotinanddr ov eoutofBandi l
eshouse.Itfelt
l
ikeIwasl eav ingav eryimpor t
antpartofme
behind, Ibli
nkedawaymyt earsasIlooked
outsidet hrought hewi ndow.
MJ:t
henIwai ted,
andwai t
ed.
.Wai ti
ngforthat
cal
l.
.Iendedupgivingup,i
twasl i
keonceupona
ti
me,ther
ewasaguycal l
edcalledMJwhomet
averybeauti
fulgi
rlcal
ledKri
s,hegaveKrishis
numberandt hestoryended.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
kel
ebet
senna(
Ifor
got
)
Hi
m:youhaveaver
ybeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e,andy
ouar
e
f
orget
ti
ngtoshowit
..
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
am I
?
Hi
m:yes,
youl
ookl
essugl
ywheny
ouar
e
smi
li
ng..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
youar
esay
ingI
'
m ugl
y?
Hi
m:y
ousai
dit
,notme.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:l
i
fet
hrowi
ngshi
taty
ou?
Me:yeahanditneverstops,
notev enfora
second.
.someti
mesIj ustwishtogoinmy
mother'
sarms,sl
eepandnev erwakeup
Hi
m: yeah,
Iknowhowitfeel
str
ustme.
.pl
ease
di
rectmewher eyoust
ay
Me:
ok
Ist
art
eddi
rect
inghi
m home.
Hi
m:i
sMrThul
ani
yourboy
fri
end?
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:noof
fensebutt
hatguyl
ooksl
i
keaki
l
ler
.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:hej
ustki
ll
edme. .
andi
thurt
s,i
thurt
sso
much..
aft
erever
ythi
ngIhaveeverdonehe
t
hrowsmel i
ke..
..
Him:r
emi ndsmeofmyexgi rl
fri
endbutthen,
I'
m
notgoingtosithereandt
alkaboutdepr
essing
i
ssues.How' sschool
?
Me:
i
tsok.
Him:good,
anddon'
twor
ryi
twi
l
lgetmuchmor
e
bett
erbyti
me
Me:
yeah,
nott
obenosybuty
ouwor
kforBandi
l
e?
Hi
m:y
es,
athi
scompany
..
.
Me:
buty
ousai
dyouar
est
il
lgoi
ngt
oschool
.
.
Hi
m:Iam,
Ij
ustj
uggl
eit
..
Af
terawhi
l
ehewaspar
kedbyt
hegat
e.
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:any
thi
ngf
orapr
ett
ygi
rll
i
key
ou.
.
Inoddedsmil
i
ngt hengotof
fhiscar.Iwal
ked
i
nsideashedroveaway.BythetimeIgottot
he
door,
openi
ngitIf
oundLeahont hedoor.
Her
:Iwasaboutt
ocome,
Idi
dn'
tseet
he
message.
.
Me:
whati
fIwasi
ntr
oubl
e?
Her
:I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ry,
youhav
ebeencr
ying?
Me:
no
Her
:Icanseei
t,
yourey
esar
ered.Whatdi
dhe
dot
histimear
ound?
Me:
hedoesn'
tl
ovemeany
mor
e..
Her
:what
?
Me:
yeah.
.l
etmet
akeashower
..
Her:
youaresmel
l
inghi
sCologneal
lov
er
you.
..
hedumpedyouaf
terhehadhi
sway?
Inoddedal readywal kingtothebat hr oom.I
fi
ll
edthet ubandj ustsatint hesmoot hi
ng
water.May bewear ejustnotmear ntt o
be,
may be.
.-Ishookmyheadt ryingnott oev en
thi
nkabouti t
.Hesai dhel ovesme.Fort hepast
4mont hshesaidhel ovedme.Thatcan' tbean
act,
4mont hs?Andhehasbeensl eepi ngwith
mef orsomemont hsnow, I'
m sur eifhewant ed
toleavehewoul dhav edonet hataf terourf i
rst
ti
meofsex.I fhedidn'tlovemet henwhyt ell
met hingsthatcanl eadhimt ojail
?If eltli
kehe
i
shi di
ngt hingsfr
om me.Themor eIt hought
aboutitthemor eitmadesense.Whywoul dhe
i
ntr
oducemet ohismom ifhedidn'
tl
ove
me?Tohisfamil
y?Ifhe'
sreal
l
yusingmet hen
whydidheseem hurt
?Ishouldn'
thavewalked
away.
.Il
ett
earfal
l.
.
~3WEEKSLATER~
.
Av
e:sot
omor
row?Yougame?
Me:
yeahbutIwi
l
lbecomi
ngwi
thLeah.
.
Her
:i
tsst
il
lok,
asl
ongasy
ouar
ether
e..
Me:
ok,
wewi
l
ltal
kri
ght
?
Wewer edonewit
hthel
astl
ect
ureroft
heday
.
Avi
sstaysatcampussoweseparat
ewaysat
Var
sit
y.
Av
e:Lookatt
hathot
tyl
ooki
ngaty
ou.
.
Il
ookedwhereshewasl
ooki
ngonl
ytomeet
MJ'seyes.
Me:
he'
saf
ri
end.
.
Ave:maybet
oyou.
.butIt
hinkhewant
smor
e
thanthat
Me:nohedoesn'
t.
.HeknowsIl
ovesomeone
el
se..
Av
e:y
oudo?
Me:
yes,
thi
ngsar
eabitbumpyr
ightnowbut
l
oveconquer
sal
lri
ght
?
Av
e:al
way
s..Any
wayIwi
l
lcal
lyou
Me:
yeah,
bye
Iwal kedtowardsMJt hinkingaboutwhatAv e
hadj ustsai
d.Iknowi tsbeen3weeksev er
sinceIlastsawNdi le,
orspokent ohim.Ther e
aremanyt i
mesIwoul dhol dmyphonet ocall
him butIjustchangemymi ndlastmi nuteand
wai tpati
entl
yforhim.Thef actt hatIstil
llove
him makesmehol duphopet hathe'sgoingto
comebackandt el
lmeev er yt
hingl i
keheal ways
does.Leahhadal r
eadygivenupandsheev en
thinksthatmay beher eal
lydoesn' tl
ov eme
consi
der
inghi
sact
ions.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hi
,
donef
ort
heday
?
Me:
yeahy
ou?
Hi
m:y
es.
.
Me:
wai
ti
ngf
orme?
Hi
m:nahwait
ingf
ort
hisot
hergi
rl
..
whohappens
t
obey ou.
.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
l
et'
sgo.
.
Hi
m:af
tery
ou.
.
Iwal
kedout
sidewi
thhi
m behi
ndme.
Hi
m:wannagooutf
ordi
nnert
oni
ght
?
Me:
God!no..
I'
m pi
cki
ngupmybestf
ri
endf
rom
t
heair
port.
Him:who?
thatgi
rly
ouar
eal
way
swi
thummh
Leah?
Me:
no.
.myhi
ghschool
til
lnowbestf
ri
end.
Hi
m:ohw,
shesgoi
ngt
ost
aywi
thy
ou?
Me:
fortoni
ghtonl
y,hehast
obeatwi
ts
t
omorrowmor ni
ng.
.
Hi
m:he?
Me:
yeah,
myBestf
ri
endi
sahe.
.
Hi
m:wow!
Me:
Iknowri
ght.
.Soimmatakear
aincheckon
t
hatone,
maybenextt
ime.
.
Him:youar
ecomi
ngf
ort
hebasht
omor
row
r
ight
?
Me:
yes.
.
Hi
m:ok
Bythenwewer
eal
readyst
andi
ngbesi
desmy
car
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
rowt
hen.
.
Hi
m:y
eah,
byepr
ett
yface
Ichuckledget
ti
nginmycaranddr i
vi
ng
away.LeahandIuseourownsepar atecar
s
becauseofdif
ferentt
imet abl
e.Idr
ove
home,andLeahwasal readyther
e.
Me:hey,
youst
il
lcomi
ngwi
thmet
otheai
rpor
t
r
ight?
Her
:yes.
.
Me:
letmegotakeaquickshowert
henwecook.
Hi
splanei
slandi
ngat1815.
Leah:
west
il
lhav
e2hour
sIwi
l
lst
artcooki
ng
Me:
yeah.
.
Iwalkedtothebathroom andtookashower.
Aft
erbathingIchangedintocomf ort
able
cl
othesthenwalkedt otheki
tchen,Leahwas
busywiththeveggies.
Me:
howwasschool
?
Isai
dasIst
art
edhel
pingherout
..
Her
:i
twasok,
andMJ?
Me:
whatabouthi
m?
Her
:hehasn'
tmadeamov
eyet
?
Me:whywoul
dhe?
heknowsIl
ovesomeone
el
se
Her
:someoneelsewhoal waysmanagesto
makeyoucrywithouteventr
yingthat
much?someonewhoal wayshurtsyou?Al
lthe
t
ime..
Me:
Ican'
tchangehowIf
eel
Myphonestar
tedri
ngi
ng,i
twasn'
tal
ocal
number
.Iansweredaf
terawhi
le.
Me:
hel
l
o?
Theper
sonkeptqui
te.
Me:
hel
l
o?
Cal
l
erI
D:Kr
is?
Me:
who'
sthi
s?
Cal
lerI
D:I
tsf
unnyhowti
mefl
ies,
notsolong
agoyouusedtoknowmyvoi
celi
kethebackof
y
ourhand.
.
Itookaverydeepbr
eat
hbal
anci
ngmy
sel
fwi
th
thekit
chenstool
.
Me:
Venus?
Hi
m:hey
,l
ongt
ime.
.
Me:
yeah.
.ummhhowar
eyou?
Hi
m:If
eel
muchbet
tert
hatI
'
mtal
ki
ngt
oyou.
.
Me:
howi
sLondont
reat
ingy
ou?
Hi
m:i
tsnott
hesamewithoutthepeopl
ethat
ar
ecl
osetomyhear
t.
.howar eyou?
Me:
I'
m ok.
.I
'
mfi
ne
Hi
m:I.
..
Imi
ssy ou,
Ist
il
ll
oveyou.
.anddont
wor
ry,
youdonthavetoanswert
hat.
.
Me:
Imi
ssy
out
oo,
Rugby
?
Hi
m:i
tsok.
.I
'
m st
il
lthebesti
fthat
swhaty
ou
ar
easki
ng.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
I'
m sur
eyouar
e..
Hi
m:I
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou,
I
'mt
hecapt
ain.
.
Me:
Wow!
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Imi
ssedy
our5y
earol
dvoi
ce
Me:
whataboutJer
emi
ah?Wher
e'she?
Hi
m:wel
lhe'
sher
ewi
thme.
.
Me:
fr
iendshi
pgoal
s?
Hi
m:y
eah,
evenLeahi
sther
ewi
thy
ou
Me:
shegav
eyoumynumber
?
Him:
aft
eral
otofbeggi
ngshedidn'tsoIf
ound
i
tonmyown..AnywayIwast
hinkingofgiv
ing
youguy
saswing.
.
Me:
youwantt
ocome?
Hi
m:f
oraf
ewday
s..
Imi
ssy
out
hatmuch
Me:
ummh.
.
Him:I
'
m goingt
ocome..
eit
herway
.Ibet
tergo,
I
havealect
urei
nafew.Il
oveyou.
.
Hethenhungup.Slowl
yputmyphonedown
andlookedatLeah.
.
Leah:
Venus?
Isl
owl
ynodded.
.
Her
:Idi
dn'
tgi
vehi
myournumber
,Ir
efused.
Me:yeah.
.ummhhesai
dhesgoi
ngt
ocomesee
us.
Her
:ohw.
.
Me:
yeah.
.Idon'
thav
eagoodf
eel
i
ngaboutt
his.
.
Her
:Idonthav
eagoodf
eel
i
ngaboutt
hatbash
f
ortomorrow.
.
Me:
why
?
Her
:Ihavebeengetti
ngclosewithLebo,shetol
d
meal otofst
uffhappensatthosepart
ies..
Me:
Ipr
omi
sedAv
eIwi
l
lbet
her
e..
Leah:
ok.
.
Me:
i
sLebobei
ngabused?
Shel
ookedatme.
.
Me:
thatt
imey
ousai
dshe'
shi
dingbr
uises.
.
Her
:yes,
shebr
okeupwi
tht
heguyt
hough.
.
Me:
arey
ousur
e?
Her
:yes,
Imadesur
eofi
t.
.
Me:
Iseey
ouar
eont
opofi
t.
.
Her
:yes.
.
Thenaknocker
upt
edf
rom t
hedoor
.
Leah:
Iwi
l
lgeti
t.
.
Leahwal
kedoutl
eavi
ngmefi
nishi
ngup.She
camebackaf
terawhi
lewi
thLebo.
Lebo:
Kri
s
Me:
hey
Igav
eherabr
iefhug.
Lebo:
somet
hingi
ssmel
l
ingni
ce.
.
Leah:
i
tsdi
nner
,wannaj
oinus?
Lebo:no,
I'
m meet
ingmysi
stert
oni
ght
..But
thanks.
Leah:
ohwok.
.
Lebo:
youguy
sst
il
lgoi
ngt
othebasht
omor
row?
Me:
yes,
youcancomewi
th.
.
Lebo:ok,
Iguessi
fI'
m wi
thy
ounot
hingwi
l
lgo
wrong..
Me:
yes!
Lebogi
ggl
ed.
.
Lebo:
l
etmegetgoi
ng.
.
Me:
wantal
i
ft,
wear
eheadi
ngt
otheai
rpor
t.
.
Lebo:
ok,
youwi
l
ldr
opmeal
ongway
..
Iswit
chedofft
hestoves,
thenwewalkedoutt
o
theparki
ngLot
t.TheygotinmycarandIdrov
e.
Lebo:
Inev
erseey
out
hatmuchatschool
Kri
s
Me:
met
oo,
mat
teroff
actInev
erseey
ouatal
l
..
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:yeah,
thatshoul
dchange.
.
Me:
bigt
ime.
.
Idroppedheroffal
ongwayt hendrovestr
aight
totheair
port
.LeahandIwai t
edforTshepieat
thewaiti
ngarea.Hisaccept
ancelett
ercame2
weeksagoandal lalonghesbeenprepari
ng.
Me:
ohMyGod!
ther
ehei
s.
Ir
ushedtohim ashecamewi
thhi
sbagsand
at
tackedhi
m withahug.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou.
.
Hi
m:t
lhammal
enna(
met
oo)
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ouar
eher
enow.
.
Hi
m:met
oo.
.ev
ent
houghAl
exwascr
ying.
.
Me:
ohw,
mypoorsi
ster
..
Hi
m:shewi
l
lbeok.
.howhav
eyoubeen?
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lyou,
fornowl
et'
sgo.
.
Hi
m:Ihopey
oudi
dn'
tcomewi
thy
ourScar
ry
boy
fri
end.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
noSi
r.
Ihel
pedhi
m wi
thhi
sbagsandwewal
kedback
towher
eLeahwasstandi
ng.
Me:umhhTshepi
ethi
sisLeahandLeaht
hisi
s
Tshepi
e..
Leah:
nicet
omeety
ou.
.
Tshepi
e:l
i
kewi
se.
.
Me:
l
et'
sgo.
Wewal
kedt
omycardr
aggi
nghi
sbagsal
ong.
Tshepi
e:t
hiscari
s..
wow!
Me:
yeah.
.ekaeGol
f7?
(wher
e'st
heGol
f7)
Him:
mom haditt
ranspor
tedafewday s
ago.
.I
'
m sogl
adI'
m outofthathouse.
.
Me:
theyst
art
ed?
Hi
m:y
es.
.
Me:t
hatssad,
l
ifei
stooshor
ttowast
eit
f
ight
ing.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Wegoti
nthecarwi
thTshepi
eatt
hedr
iver
s
seat
.
Hi
m:seat
bel
tspl
ease.
Ist
rappedmy selft
henhest
art
eddr
ivi
ngasI
gavehim di
rect
ions.
Hi
m:Leahy
ouhav
ebeenqui
te.
.
Leahchuckl
ed.
.
Her
:Idonthav
eany
thi
ngt
osay
..
Him:i
jo.
.nnammaIal
way
shav
esomet
hingt
o
say.
.
Leah:
Ihav
ereal
i
zed.
.
Hi
m:y
es,
soot
swakae?
Me:
Engl
i
shpl
ease
Hi
m:l
egoa?
wher
edoy
oucomef
rom Leah?
Leah:
I'
m hal
fJamai
can
Hi
m: ohok.
.wel
lI'
mfrom Bot
swana.
.I'
m aful
l
motswanaunli
keKri
swho'shal
famericanhal
f
motswana.
.
Leah:
ok
Af
terawhi
l
ehehadpar
kedi
nthegar
age.
Hi
m:Iwi
shIst
ayedher
e,I
tsbeaut
if
ul
Me:
youar
est
ayi
ngatcampus?
Hi
m:y
ep.
.shar
ingar
oom basi
cal
l
y..
Me:
ok.
.l
et'
sgeti
nsi
de.
Wegotoffthecarandwenttothehouse
l
eavi
nghisbagsinsi
de.Heonlytookt
heclot
hes
andtoi
l
etr
ieshewouldneed.Idi
shedupas
soonashesett
led.
Hi
m:t
hishousei
sni
ce
Me:
yeah.
.
Moment
slat
erwewer
eal
leat
ing.
Me:
Dyl
anandBK?
Hi
m:t
heycameaweekago
Me:
andnobodyt
oldme.
.
Hi
m:Capetownisli
tthattheyfor
get
f
ri
ends.
.Antonyl
eft
..
Ithinksit
sbeenamont
h..
Me:
het
oldme.
.ev
ensentsomef
ewpi
cs.
Hi
m:andnowi
tsmyt
urnt
osendaf
ewpi
cs.
Me:
yes.
.
Moment
slat
erwewerewashi
ngthedi
shes
whi
l
eTshepi
esatont
hekit
chencount
er.
Hi
m:LeahsoI
'
m sl
eepi
ngont
hecouch?
Leah:
yeah.
Hi
m:aowwmma,
whycan'
tIsl
eepwi
thy
ou?
Leahj
ustl
aughedwal
ki
ngout
.
Hi
m:soy
ouandy
ourboy
fri
end?
Me:
webr
okeup.
.
Hi
m:Amen!
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:nott
omakey
ouupsetbutInev
erl
i
kedhi
m.
Me:
butIl
ovehi
m
Hi
m:Iknow.
.whathappened?
Ishr
uggedmyshoul
der
s..
Me:
Idontknow.
.hejustwokeupandhedi
dn'
t
l
ovemeany mor
e..
Hi
m:wai
t.
.war
eng?
(whatar
eyousay
ing)
Me:
hedoesn'
tl
ovemeany
mor
e..
Hi
m:soallt
hoset
ri
pst
oseey
ouwer
efor
what
?forf
un?
Me:heshi
dingsomet
hingfrom me,
Iknow
i
t.
.t
here'
snowayhecanj ustsayhedoesn'
tl
ove
me..
Hi
m:Iagr
eebuty
oucannev
erknow.
.
Me:y
eah,I
'm sur
eyouar
eti
red.
.Letmegety
ou
bl
anket
s..
IsaidasIwal
kedt
omyr
oom andgothi
m
blanket
s.
Me:
youwi
l
lsl
eepi
nthecouch.
.
Hi
m:ok,
thanks
Me:
noneed,
that
swhatbestf
ri
endsar
efor
..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Iwalkedbackt omyr oom, woremypj '
st hen
slept.ThenextdayIwokeupabi tlatebutI
couldheart hattheTvwason.Ibr ushedmy
teethandwashedmyf ace.AfterthatIwentt o
thelivi
ngroom wher ehewassl eeping.TheTV
wasonwhi lehewassl eeping,
almostt hewhol e
blanketwasont hefloorandhehadhi shandon
hisface.Icoul dpossiblyseethet atooonhi s
hand.Hedi di twhenwewher einform3, hes
parentswer ef i
ght
ingal otbyt hen.Till
todayhe
Blameshi spar ent
sfort hattatoo.Andt hat's
whenhest art
edsmoki nganddr i
nkingalcohol,
goingt oendlesspartiesandmi ssi
ngschool
somet imes.IsighedasIwal kedt otheki t
chen
andst
art
edprepar
ingbr
eakfast.Momentslat
er
hewasalr
eadyawakeandinsidetheki
tchen.
Hi
m:mor
ning
Me:
sl
eptwel
l
?
Hi
m:y
es.
.
Me:
good,
I
'm maki
ngbr
eakf
ast
..
Him:ok,
l
etmegotakeabat
h,Ineedt
obeat
Varsi
tyby10a.
m
Me:
ok.
.bat
hroom i
sfi
rstDoort
othel
eft
Hi
m:ok
Hethenwalkedout
.LeahcamewhenIwas
f
ini
shingof
f.
Her
:hey
Me:
hi.
.
Her
:GodI
'
m Hungr
y..
Me:
I'
m done
Her
:ok,
whatar
eyourpl
ansf
ort
heday
?
Me:
Igatnon
Her
:l
et'
sgoshoppi
ng.
.
Me:
ok.
.butI
'
m dr
oppi
ngTshepi
eof
far
ound10.
Her
:i
tsok.
.
Tshepieemer gedagai
nbutt hi
stimearound
l
ookingf r
esh.Hewaswear ingablackskin
j
ean,blackT-shi
rt
,abl
ackjacket,
ablackcapand
fi
nisheditoffwit
hRedtimber l
and.
Me:
youl
ooki
ngf
resh.
.
Hi
m:al
way
s..
any
wayi
tst
imef
oreat
ingr
ight
?
Me:
yes,
youguy
smayeatwhi
l
eIgoshower
..
Isai
dwalki
ngout.It
ookashowert
hen
changedi
ntosomebodyhuggi
ngdress.
Bytheti
mewhenIcamebackt ot
heki
tchen
theywer
eal
readydoneeat
ing.
Leah:
eatwhi
l
eIbat
h..
Tshepi
e:hav
ingonebat
hroom i
sapr
obl
em.
.
Leah:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
.
Shewal
kedoutasIat
e.
Tshepi
e:howi
svar
sit
y?
Me:
i
tsok,
I
'm adj
ust
ing.
.
Hi
m:f
utur
eAdv
ocat
eKr
ist
inThompson
Me:
Macv
erdana,
dadhadmysur
namechanged.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.
Me:
IsawCar
lt
onHami
l
ton
Hi
m:y
ourcr
ushsi
ncef
orm 1?
Me:
mxm.
.
Hi
m:I
'
mjustsay
ing.
.Any
waywher
edi
dyousee
hi
m?
Me:
ori
ent
ati
on.
.
Hi
m:I
'm goi
ngt
otel
lhi
myouhav
eacr
ushon
hi
m..
Me:goahead.
.i
tsfunnyhowhesj
ust27but
hav
eachievedalotataveryy
oungage,
Imean
byt
heage21hehadal
readywonabi
gcase.
.
Him:
yeah,andI
'
m sur
eyoucandobet
tert
hanhe
caneverdo.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
yeah?
Hi
m:y
es,
Ibel
i
evei
nyou.
.ILi
key
ourhai
r
Ihadcur
ledi
t.
Me:
thanks.
.
AfterawhileLeahwasdoneandwewer e
al
readyleaving.Idrov
eTshepi
etowit
s.Aft
er
droppinghim offLeahandIdr
ovet
osomemal l
sot oshop.Basical
lyshedi
dmostofthe
shopping.
Her
:howdoIl
ook?
Shehadt
ri
edonsomeshor
t.
Me:
youar
eal
mostnaked.
.
Sher
aisedherey
ebr
ows.
.
Me:
I'
mjustst
ati
ngt
het
rut
h..
Her
:okf
ine,
Iwon'
ttakei
t.
Af
teraf
ewhour
swef
inal
l
ydr
ovehome.
Me:
Ican'
tfeel
myl
egs.
.
Isai
dasIt
hrewmy
sel
font
hecouch.
.
Her
:i
tsnor
mal
..
letmegoandt
ryonmycl
othes.
Me:
ok.
Asshewal kedawayIloggedinonFacebook.
Tshepiehadalr
eadyuploadedapict
ure.
#DoctorI
nTheMaking.
Forthehundr edt htimeev ersincemeand
Bandilebrokeup, Istal
kedhi m again.Tocheck
anynewpostandhehadn' tpostedinawhi le.I
putmyphonedownassoonasIdi dn'tsee
anythi
ngandIcoul dhearmyi nnerselflaughing.
It
sfunnyhowIst il
llov
et heguywhodumped
me.Anhourl at erwehadal r
eadychangedi nto
theclotheswewer egoingwi th.
Iwaswear inga
sil
kywhi t
eseet hroughtopandar eapedjean.
Leah:
l
et'
sgo
Me:
i
sLebor
eady
?
Leah:
yeah,
shesbyherdoor
.
Igrabbedmyphoneandsomemoneyi ncaseof
emer gencythenwel ef
t.Avegavemet he
dir
ectionstotheplaceandarri
vingthereitwas
j
ustabi ghouse.ThemusicthatIheardfrom
thegat ewasenought oburstmyear s,
even
Tontoro'sparti
esarenotloudasthi
sone.
Getti
ngi nsi
deIsawAv eassheappr oachedus.
Av
e:hey
,youmadei
t.
.
Shescr
eamedatt
het
opofherv
oice.
Me:
yeah.
.
Ialsoscr
eamedbutshemadeanexpr
essi
on
thatshedi
dn'
thearme.
Sheledusatt hebackofthehouseandi
t
wasn'tthatmuchnoisybutther
ewassomef
ew
couplesmakingout.
Av
e:y
oumadei
t.
.
Me:yeah,
i
tsnoi
sy,
l
ikeit
smor
eli
keahar
dcor
e
par
tythananormalbash
Av
e:y
eahsowho'
sthi
s?
Me:ohwt
hisi
sLebo,
AndLeahasy
oual
ready
knowandguy
sthi
sisAve
Lebo:
nicet
omeety
ou.
.
Ave:
li
kewi
se.
.Any
wayl
etsgobackandhav
e
fun.
.
Leah:
Ihav
eabadf
eel
i
ngont
his
Av
e:whyar
eyoual
way
supt
ight
?
Leah:me?upti
ght?LookMsPurplehai
r,
youdont
knowshitaboutmesost optal
ki
ngtomel i
ke
I'
my ourf
riendbecauseIai
n'
t
Lebochuckl
ed.
.
Ave:
Idontknowyoubutf
rom whatIhave
observ
edforthel
astf
ewweeksy oufi
ttobe
hooker
Me:
guy
spl
ease,
thi
sisnotwhyI
'
m her
efor
..
Leah:
takesonet
oknowanot
her
Av
e:ohsoy
ouadmi
ttobei
ngahooker
?
Me:
guy
spl
ease.
.j
eez!
Avecl
i
ckedhertoungeasshewalkedawayand
wefol
lowedbehi
ndherwithLeahmurmuri
ng
onl
ywhatshecouldhear
.
Wegotinsi
det hehouse.I
twasbeyondpacked.
Peopl
ewereinev er
ycorner.Somegir
lhol
ding
champagnecamet owardsusandLeahand
Lebotookwhi
leAv ewenttot hemi
nibar
.She
camebackafterawhilehol
dingaglassof
al
coholandacanofsof tdr
ink.
Shehandthecanovertomewhi l
eshedr ank
theal
cohol
.Moment sl
aterIwassitt
ingon
somecouchwhil
eAv ehaddisappearedtoonly
GodKnowswher e,
Leahwasbusydanci ngwith
somedudeandLebohadwentt ot hetoil
et.I
keptmyeyesonLeah,whenshe'sdrunky ou
nev erknowwhatshecando.Sheseemedt obe
enjoyingit
,ev
enthoughshekeptstaggeri
ng
around.Isawsomedudewal ki
ngt owardsme.
Hewashandsomebutnotmucht hough.There
wasat i
mewer eIt
houghtBandil
ehadthemost
tatoosbutthi
sguytookanOscarAwar d.He
cameandsatbesi desmeholding2glassesof
champagne.
Hi
m:whyi
sabeaut
iful
girll
ikeyousi
tt
ingher
e
al
lal
onel
ooki
ngal
ldepressed.
Il
ookedathi
mthenmov
edmyey
esbackat
Leah.
Hi
m:Vusi
you?
Ist
il
lkeptmysi
l
encet
hathechuckl
ed.
Hi
m:Idontwantt
osl
eepwi
thy
ou
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Him:mostoft
hegirl
sthi
nksthatwhenaguyis
tal
ki
ngtoheratsomepartyhewantstof
uck.
.I
don'
twanttodothat.MynameisVusiwhat
's
y
ourname?
Me:
Oli
vi
a
Hi
m:okOl
i
via,
youwantadr
ink?
Me:
no,
Ihav
emyown
Isai
drai
singmycansoheseesi
t.
Hi
m:notaf
anofal
cohol
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:ok
Heputt
hegl
assesdown.
Hi
m:sowho'
sdead?
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:r
easonwhyy
ouseem depr
essed.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
I'
m notdepr
essed
Him:ok,
nowyouarenotbutafewseconds
ago.
.Icameherewit
hmyf r
iendbutIcan'
tfi
nd
heranymore.
.
Me:
wel
lIcanst
il
lseemi
ne,
butShe'
sdr
unk.
.
Hi
m:thatmomentwhentheygetdr
unkandy
ou
ar
erequir
edt
ohelpthem t
othecar.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:Ioncegotdr
unkbutl
ucki
l
ysomebody
came..
Him:t
hetimeIgotdr
unkIwokeupt henextday
i
nsidethebar
.Theyj
ustl
eftmetherewitha
notei
nmypocket"wetookyourcarandwallet
home"
Il
aughed
Me:
sohowdi
dyougobackhome?
Him:Ihadtopickupcoinsf
rom t
hebarwhi
ch
peoplelostandImanagedtocomeupwithat
l
eastthecabf ai
r
Me:
youmusthav
ebeenconf
used.
.
Hi
m:bey
ond,
i
twashor
ri
ble.
.Il
ookedl
i
keast
reet
ki
d.
Me:Icanimagi
ne,
heydoy
ouknowwher
ethe
t
oil
etsare?
Hi
m:ummhcome
Ist
oodupandwal
kedbehi
ndhi
m,hel
edmet
o
thi
sot
herr
oom.
Hi
m:uset
hisone.
.
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lwai
tout
side.
.
Igotinther oom andwentinsi
dethet
oil
et.Idi
d
mybusi ness.WhenIwasaboutt ogetoutmy
phoner angandsur pr
isi
ngl
yitwasBandil
e.My
heartskipped.Iansweredaft
erawhil
e.
Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
atsomepar
ty.
.
Hi
m:no,
whi
chr
oom ar
eyoui
n?
Me:
Idon'
tknow,
whatdoy
ouwant
?
Hi
m:getoutoft
her
eri
ghtnow.
.
Me:
wha-
Thedoorcr
ackedopenandVusicamein
grabbi
ngmyphoneandthr
owingitont
hefl
oor
.
Me:
whatt
heheck?
Hi
m:comeher
e..
Hesaidwal
ki
ngoutofthebathr
oom.Myhear
t
wasnowbeati
ngfastandIwasstar
ti
ngt
oget
scar
ed..
If
ollowedslowl
ybehindhi
m.Whenhet ur
nedt
o
mehehadawi ckedgri
nonthatt
wist
edmy
i
ntesti
nes.
Him:sowear egoingt
opl
ayni
ceok?eveni
fyou
scream nobodyisgoi
ngt
oheary
oubutifyou
aregoingtomakenoiset
omeIwi l
lsl
ap
you.am Icl
ear?
Bythentear
swereal
readystr
eaming
wonderi
ngwhatIhav
egot t
enmy sel
fint
o.
Him:nono,dontcr
y..
itwon'thur
tplusy ouain'
t
novirgi
nsoIguaranteey ouwil
lenjoythisand
aft
erim donewithyou,nobodywilleverlove
you.
Hestar
tedwalki
ngtowar
dsmeundoi
nghi
sbel
t
asIt
ookstepsback.
Hi
m:youcan'tr
unawaybecauseact
ual
l
yther
e's
noweret
or unto.
Me:
please.
.pl
easeI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou
Hi
m:soonenoughy
ouwi
l
lbebeggi
ngf
ormy
di
ck.
Het ookouthisdi ckandst ar
tedrubbingitback
andf orthashecl osedthespacebet weenus.I
tookachancet orunt othebathr
oom when
therewasst i
llspacebet weenusbuthe
managedt odragmebymyhandandt hr
ewon
thefloorthatItastedbloodinmymout h,
myhi p
hurtsobadt hatIhi ssedinagonyaspai n
escalatedthehip.
Hi
m:Ihear
dyouar
esmar
t.
.
Icoul
dhearmyphoner
ingfrom thebat
hroom.
ThatmomentIst
art
edpray
ing,IknowIdont
usual
l
yprayt
hatmuch.
Me:
God,
pleasehav
emer
cyonme.
.
Him:
God? aswewaitf
orGodIwi
l
lbef
ucki
ng
yousenselessl
y.
Me:
myboy
fri
endi
sgoi
ngt
ogety
ou
Hi
m:ok
Hecameandpickedmeupt hr
owingmeont he
bedmakingmehurtmyhipmore.Hedragged
myjeansdowntoget
herwi
thmypant i
es.I
coul
dn'
tfi
ghthi
m,notwi
thmyhurthip.
Hi
m:beaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
please.
.
Hecameontopofmeget t
ingbetweenmylegs
andIst
art
edcr
yingl
oud.Thiscoul
dnthappen.
Hi
m:i
fyoust
opmaki
ngnoi
seIwi
l
lbegent
le.
Me:
I'
m beggi
ngy
ou.
.
Ifel
thimr ubbi
nghisdickonme,nev
erhadI
everthoughtsomethingli
ket
hiswouldhappen
tome.Bef orehecoulddoanyt
hingIhear
d
someonebangt hedoor.
"
Kri
s"
Iknewt
hatwasBandi
l
e.
Me:
hel
p!somebodyhel
pme!
IscreamedandIheardBandil
ecursebeforehe
start
edbangingthedoorwit
hsomet hi
ngthatI
couldheari
tcrackli
keitwasgoi
ngt obreak.I
feltmycheekbecomesohotandIr eal
izedhe
hadslappedme.
Hi
m:y
oudi
rt
ywhor
e..
I'
m goi
ngt
oki
l
lyou
Hest art
edst r
angli
ngmemaki ngmel osemy
breath.Icouldfeelmysoul f
ighti
ngit
swayout
ofmybody .Atlastt
hedoorbur stopenand
Bandilewalkedinholdingagun.Hes
expressiontoldmeal ot.Vusil
etgoofme
makingmest
andi
nfr
ontofhi
m wi
thhi
m
behi
ndme.
Bandile: I
'
m notgoi ngt odoany t
hingt oyou,
run
whi l
styoust i
llcanbecauseI '
m goi ngtokilly
ou
andy ourl it
tlefami l
y.Bandi leputawayhi sgun
asVusi l
ef tmeandr anout sideleav i
ngmeon
thegr ound.Ibr okei nt oal oudcr y,
If el
tweak.
Thephy sicalpaint hatconsumedme, the
emot ional painfrom wi t
hinmademecr umble
upasIf eltlost,
feltusel ess, Ifel
tdir t
y,
sodi r
ty.I
felthi
sar msasheembr acedme.Ihel donunt o
him asIcr i
edoutoff ail
ure, Ihadf ail
edmyown
l
ife.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,11:
02]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t30
BANDI
LE
.
.
There'snot hi ngt hatbr okememor et hanher
cry.Thist oucheddeepwi thinme,Iknew
somehowIwast hecauseofal lthis.Ishoul dn'
t
havel eftheri nt hef i
rstpl ace,Ishoul dhav e
cameher eassoonasQi nf ormedmeshesaw
herher eorwhent hepeopl eIhadt okeept abs
i
nmet oldshecamet osomepar ty.Ishoul d
havecamei mmedi ately.Ittookawhi l
et oget
herqui te,totallyquitebuthert earskept
str
eami ng.Imadeherwearherpant i
esand
tr
ouser s,thenputmyj acketonhershoul ders.
Shehadbr uisesal lov erherbody ,
especi all
yher
neckandherl i
pswer eswol lenandbl oody .She
couldn'twal kproper lysoIhadt opi ckherup
carefull
ynott oexer tmor epai nonher .
Everyonewasandev erythingwasqui tewhenI
gotdownst airswi t
hKr i
sandSenzeni was
st
andi
ngi
nthemi
ddl
eoft
hehouse.
Senzeni
:
sheal
ri
ght
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Iwalkedoutandwenttomycar .Ipl
acedher
careful
l
yatthebackseat
.Senzeniwasalr
eady
besidesmycartoget
herwit
hQandLeahand
some2gi r
ls.
Q:
Leahsaysthi
sgi
rli
stheonewhobr
ought
t
hem her
e..
Hesai
datsomegir
lwit
hpur
plehai
r.Shehad
t
ear
sallov
erherf
ace.
Her:
IsweartoGod, Idi
dn'
tdoanythi
ngt
oKr
is,
I
di
dn'tsetherup.
.shesmyf r
iend
Leah:
fr
iend?Shesl
yi
ng.
.
Q:
andt
hisi
sLebo,
Shesal
soaf
ri
endIguess.
.
Me:
what
'
syourname?
Iaskedt
heonewi
thpur
plehai
r.
.
Her
:Av
isNdamo
Me:
andy
ou?
Iaskedt
heLebogi
rl
..
Her
:Lebogang
Me:
sur
name?
Bef
oreshecoul
danswerherphoner
ang.
Her
:i
tsmysi
ster
..
Shewal
kedawayabi
tfr
om us.
Senzeni
:whatshoul
dwedowi
tht
heAv
is?
Me:
shesnott
heenemyher
e..
Q:
Ithoughtsot
oo,
thatgi
rll
ooksl
i
keNi
col
e..
Me:
becauseshe'sNicol
e'
ssi
ster
,howar
eyou
f
ri
endswithherLeah?
Leah:
wel
lLebogang?
Me:
yes
Leah:
shewasbei
ngabusedbyherboy
fri
end.
.
Qchuckl
ed.
.
Q:
abused?
Leahnodded.
.
Me:fi
ndthatmother
fucker
,Iwi
l
ldeal
wit
h
Nicol
einthemeantime.Someti
messheact
s
l
ikeshedoesn'
tknowmet oowell
.
Q:
Iwi
l
lkeepLeahi
nwat
chanddr
opAv
ishome.
Leah:
Iwantt
obewi
thKr
is,
sheneedsme.
.
Q:y
ouaresli
ght
lyst
il
ldrunk,
andtomor
rowyou
wil
lbehavi
ngahangover,
youwanttogi
ve
Bandi
let
oomuchshittodeal wi
th.
Leah:butdr
opmeatt
hef
latandwhatabout
Kri
s'scar?
Q:
wegotit
,wenaot
samayal
enna,
fi
nishand
Kl
aar
!(
youarecomi
ngwit
hme,endofstor
y!)
Leah:
huh?
Ichuckl
edwhi
l
eSenzeni
laughed.
Me:I
'm goi
ng.
.Senzeni
keepaney
eon
Lebogang.
.
Isai
dassheappr
oachedus.Igoti
nmycarand
Kri
sseemedtobesl
eepi
ng.
Idroveusstr
aighthome.GentlyIpi
ckedherup
andgotinsi
det hehousewit
hher ,
str
aightt
omy
room.Caref
ull
yIt ookof
fherjeansbutshe
fl
inchedabi
t.
Me:
sor
ry
Herhipwasswoll
en,thatasswhor
ewasgoing
topayfort
his,
bi
gtime!BythetimeIhad
sli
ppedheri
noneofmyt -
shir
tshewasawake
withanumbexpressi
on.
Me:
sl
eepnow.
.
Her
:di
dyouev
erl
oveme?
Me:
what
?
Her
:younev
erl
ovedme,
didy
ou?
Me:Ilov
edy ouandst i
l
ldo. .
Iloveyouver
ymuch.
IknowwhatIsaidbutIl ied..
yourdaddoesn'
t
wantust obetogether,hehat est
hefactyou
couldn'
tfi
ndabetterper son,hehatesi
t
becauseI'
m notcl
osetobesai
ntorper
fectand
Ineverassoci
atewi
thgoodthi
ngs.
.Theonly
goodthingIhavei
syou.
Her
:whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me?
Me:y
oucan'tbegoi
ngagainstyourf
ami
l
y,at
l
eastnotnow..
youst
il
lneedthem..
Her
:soy
ousuggestweendt
hingsf
orgood?
Me:Idontknow,
whatIknowisIlov
eyou.
.Il
ove
yousomuchbey ondanythi
ng.
.
Shelookedaway .Iknewi twouldendt hi
sway .
Eit
herwayIknowshesgoi ngtohat emei fshe
getstoknowt her estoft hebadst uffIhave
everdoneorst i
lldo.Idontcar eaboutj ai
l t
hat
muchbutl oosi ngheri sjustgoingt obet heend
ofme.Icanal readyf eelhersli
ppingawayf r
om
me.Thef actt hatshesbet t
eroffwi t
houtme
sti
lll
i
ngersi nmyheadi tsjustt
hatIdontwant
tofaceit
.Iknowshedeser vesalotmor ebetter
thatwhatIcanev ergiveherbutIjustdontwant
toadmitit,Ijustdontwantt oadmi tthefact
thatIknewf rom t
hest ar
tt hatattheendi twas
allgoi
ngtocomebackandbi t
emeof f.But
becausefort hefi
rsttimeinmyl if
e,Il
etmy
heartdothet hi
nkinginsteadofmybr ains.I
tookaqui ckshower .Aft
ert hatIsummonedmy
personaldoctortocomegi veKr i
sal ook.Byt he
ti
meshear ri
vedKr i
swasal readysleeping.Il
ed
hertomyr oom.
Me:
herhi
pandl
i
psar
eswol
l
en.
Shewalkedt
oherandv
iewedherhi
pand
mouth.
Her:
theswall
owi
ngwill
godownev ent
ual
lybut
shewon'tbeabl
etouseherl
egf orawhil
eunti
l
i
tgieadown.Asfort
hemouth,shejustbi
ther
l
ip.Shewil
lbeok.
.gi
vehert
his
Shegav
emesomepi
l
ls.
Her
:i
tsforthepai
n,
andsomeoi
l
stojust
massagethehipabi
t,
nott
oomuchbecausei
ts
pai
nful
.
Sheasl
oinj
ect
edherwi
thsomet
hing
Her
:i
tsal
sofort
hepai
nsot
hatshecansl
eep
wel
ltoni
ght
.
Me:
ok.
.
Her:
thebrui
seswi llal
soev ent
uall
ygoawaybut
i
fsomet hi
ngt r
aumat i
singhappenedIsuggest
sheseesat herapi
st,someonet otal
ktoavoi
d
Posttr
aumat i
cst r
essdi sor
der,
Alsocall
ed,PTSD.Ifsheseesather
api
st
sheightavoi
dcasesofni ght
maresor
fl
ashbackswhi chcanleadhert
obeing
depressed.
Me:
ok
Her
:t
hat
sal
l
Me:
Isett
let
hebi
l
ltomor
rowf
ir
stt
hingi
nthe
mor
ning.
.
Her
:ok,
hav
eagoodni
ght
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngout
.Iescor
tedheroutt
hen
wentbacktomyroom.Isl
ippedint
obed
besi
desherandhel
dherti
ghtly
.
.
KRI
S
.
Wakingup, Ihadami ssiveheadache.Thepai n
onmyhi pwasn' tt
hatmuch.Ir eali
zedIwas
al
oneont hebed.WasIt oodir
tyf orhi
mt o
sl
eepinthesamebedwi thme?Yest erdays
event
skeptr epeatingov erandov eragaininmy
head.Icouldn'tstopi t
.Tear smadet heirway
out,
al
sot here'sBandi l
eont heot herside.
"Idont
know,whatIknowi sIl oveyou..Il
ovey ouso
muchbey ondany thing..
"
Hedoesn'tevenknowifhewant
stobewit
hme
ornot.Iwi
pedmyt ear
sashegotint
heroom
hol
dingatrayoffood.
Hi
m:Imadey
oubr
eakf
ast
..
Hepl
acedi
tbesi
desme.
.
Her
:howi
syourhi
p?
Me:
sl
ight
lypai
nful
,Ionl
yhav
eaheadache.
Hi
m:eatsoIgi
vey
oumedi
ci
ne.
IslowlynoddedasIst
art
edeating,f
orci
ngthe
fooddownbecauseIhadnoappet it
e.Iateabi
t
sohegi vesmemedici
ne,theheadachewasn't
backingaway,i
twascomingmuchmor e
str
ongeronme.
Hi
m:i
sthatal
lyouar
egoi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
I'
m nothungr
y..
Hi
m:ok.
.
hest
oodupandwenttooneoft
hedr
awer
sand
camebackwi
thpi
l
ls.Hegaveme2.
Hi
m:t
ake
Idr
ankt
hem al
mosti
mmedi
atel
ywhi
l
ehe
pl
acedt
hetr
aydown.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lruny
ouabat
h
Hest
oodupandwal
kedt
othebat
hroom.It
ri
ed
sohar dt oi gnorethepai nIf eltdeepwi t
hinbut
i
twasj ustnotpossi ble.Ist il
l coul df eelhim
rubbinghi mselfonmeandt hef eel ingsi ckened
mewhi l
et heheadachewasst i
llther e.Ist ood
upandst eppedwi thonef oot ,li
mpedt owher e
hegott hepi ll
sfrom thent ookt hem out .I
l
impedbackt othebedt hendr ank10of
them, may bethenthepai nwoul dgo
down, may beitwasn' tfort hepai n, Iwant edt o
blackout ,Iwant edtoj ustdozeof f,
atl eastwhen
I'
m sleepi ngIdontseehi sf aceorhi swor ds
doesn' trepeatov erandov eragai n,whenI 'm
sleepingIdonthav et of acet hef actt hat
Bandi l
er eallydoesn'tlov eme, ev eni fmydad
doesn' twantust obet oget herbutheknewt hi
s
woul dhappen, hetoldmehi msel fbutwhydoes
heact sf resht othi
s?Di dher eal l
yl ov eme?I
tooksi xmor epill
sasIr ecal l
edsomeofVusi 's
wor ds."nono, dontcry .
.itwon' thur tpl usy ou
ain'
tnov irginsoIguar ant eey ouwi llenjoyt his
andaf teri m donewi thy ou, nobodywi l
lev er
l
ov eyou."Ichuckledbecausenobodyev er
l
ov edmeei therway.Venuswaspr etendingf or
hissister
,whileBandil
ejust.
.Idon'
t
know. .
wantedt ogetbackatSam. .Itdidn'ttake
mel ongtoseet her
azoront heheadboar d.
QuicklyItookit.Thi
swast heonlyway .BeforeI
coulddoany thingheemer ged.
Hi
m:whatt
hef
uck?
Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
zeIwasshaki
ng.
Hi
m:doy
ouwantt
oki
l
lme?JesusChr
istKr
is!
Hecameandsnatchedther
azorf
rom meand
cuthi
msel
fmi
stakenly
.
Hi
m:shi
t!
Heputt
her
azorawayt
hencamet
ome.
Him: Iloveyou!IloveyousomuchKr i
stin,
al
lI'
m
sayingi sbeingwi thmemeansy oudisowning
yourf amily
.Ist hatwhatyouwant?Idontwant
tolosey ou,Inev erwanty
outoleaveme
becauseIl ov ey ousomuchok?Ibrokeupwi th
youbecausey ourdadhadorst il
lhasal otof
shitonme.Imi ghtgot ojail,
arey oustil
lgoing
towantt obewi thmeaf terI'mf oundgui l
tyfor
mur der?Obv i
ouslyy ourfami l
yisgoi ngtomake
youhat eme.Il ovey oubut ..
.I
'
m notgoodf or
you,youdon'tdeser vetobest uckwith
me. .
nothinggoodi sonmyname. .I
'm some
fuckedupshi tok? i
fy ouwantt obewi thme,its
ok..I
'
m wi l
li
ngt ogot ojailforus..Idontcar e
anymor ebutIdontwanty out ohurtbecausei ts
goingt okil
lme! andIknowei therwayy oust i
ll
goingt ohurt.
.Idon'twantt hat,i
tbreaksmy
heart..
I'
m notgoodf oryou,youknowi t.
..
Me:
butIl
ovey
ou
Hi
sT-
shi
rtwasal
readywetwi
tht
ear
s.
Me:
Il
ovey
ouonl
y.
.
Him:andIlov eyoutoo,
Ilov
ey oumorebut
ther
e'sapoi ntwhereyouaregoingt
ohav eto
chose,chosebetweenmeandy ourf
amily
..t
hen
whatthen? y
ougoi ngtochosemeov ery
our
f
ami
l
y?ov
ery
ourmom,
dad,
si
sterandbr
other
?
Me:i
ftheytr
ulyl
ovemethent
heywon'tmake
mechose,youmakemehappy..
yousaidyour
l
awyerwill
fishy
ououti
fyoueverhav
et oget
ar
rest
ed..
Hi
m: y
eahbutIkill
edsomeoneandt her
e's
pr
oof..
itwasafewy earsagobuti
tssti
l
la
murdercase.
.It
alkedtomylawyerandIcanget
25yearsor30
Me:Idontwanty
out ogotoj
ail
..
.Iwanty
out o
st
ayherewithme,Iwon'
tsur
viv
ewi t
houtyou.
.
Hehuggedmet
ight
ly.
..
Iwouldn'
tsur
viveandt hi
sIknew.Whycan'
twe
j
ustbe?whycan'tIj
ustbe?Whydoesev er
ythi
ng
hastobecompl i
cated?Whycan'tIj
ustbe
happyli
keevery
oneel se.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Imusthavef
all
enasl
eepbecauseIwokeupin
bedl
yingonBandi
l
esbroadchest.Il
ookedat
him andhewassl eepi
ngwi thhishandwr apped
aroundmywai stt i
ghtl
y.Tobehonestt hisguy
hereishandsomeashel l
.Itrai
ledmyf i
ngerson
hisface,hishaircutcompl etedhim,
maki nghim
hotter.Hi
spinkl ips,
hissoftskingivesextra
points.Hewasnakedonhi supperbody,Itook
thatmomentt ojustobserv ehissexybody ,
wit
h
tatoosallover.Nott ooverexaggeratebuthei s
sohotandI '
m sur ehecangetwhoev erhe
want stogetwhenhewant sthem.
It
ookof
fmyhandof fhi
m whi
chwasnowon
hi
ssi
xpackandexhaledasIl
aybackmyhead
onhi
schest
.
It
sfunnyhowIusedt ohatehim wi t
hal l
my
heart,
howInev erwant edtoseehi m buther eI
am today ,
maki nghi m myli
fe.Isti
llremember
ourfirstkiss,
howi twasf i
ll
edwi t
hemot ions.
Hisletter,
him comi ngtoAmer i
caj usttoseeme.
Ican'tevenbel iev
eIdoubt edhislovef orme.I
fel
thim mov ethatImov edmyey est ohim,he
waswaki ngup.Her ubbedmybacksof t
lyas
openedhi
sey
es.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi
Ismi
led,
Ihadaplan.
.al
lIhadtodoi sspeakt
o
mydad,makehi
m understand.
.I'
m surehe
woul
dunderst
and.
Hi
m:Imi
ssedt
hatsmi
l
e..
Myf
acef
lushedadImov
edmyey
esf
rom hi
m.
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
I'
m ok.
.
Hi
m:thedoct
orsaidIneedtobuysomeoi
l
ssoI
massageyouwit
ht hem..
Me:
ohw.
.
Hi
m:y
eahbutIt
hinkt
her
e'sbi
ooi
l
..
Hesai
dget t
ingof
fbed.Hecamebackaf
tera
whi
lehol
dingasmallbott
leofbi
ooi
l
.
Hi
m:l
etmemassagey
ou.
.
Her emov edtheblanketfr
om meexposi ngmy
thighs.HisT-shi
rtdi
dn'tcovermylowerbody.
Heputsomeoi l
onhishand, t
henappliedtomy
l
egsof t
lymassagingintheprocess.
.Itwasa
bitpainful
..
Me:
sof
terpl
ease.
.
Hi
m:t
hisi
smysof
test
Me:
youar
ely
ing.
.
Hecont
inuedmassagi
ngsof
tl
y.
.
Hi
m:It
hinki
tsbeaty
ouseeat
her
api
st.
.
Me:
ashr
ink?
I'
m notdepr
essed.
.Orst
ressed.
.
Hi
m: Iknow,
butsothatyouknow.
.y
oudont
t
hinkabouti
tanymore..
Me:
I'
m ok.
.Idon'
tneedt
oseeashr
ink.
.
Hi
m:onesessi
ononl
yisal
lIask.
.
Me:
Ndi
l
e..
Him:
please.
.onl
yonesessi
on..Iknowy
ouar
e
okbutjustf
orthesakeofi
t.
.
Me:
hedi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng.
.
Him:ei
therwaypl
easebabe,
sthandwa
saam..
.please
Me:
onl
yonesessi
on
Hi
m:t
hanky
ou.
.
Heki
ssedmyl
i
pssof
tl
ybutbr
ief
ly.
Me:
your
eal
l
ygoodatmassage.
.
Him:
Iknowri
ght
?Ineedt
oappl
ysothatIwork
ataspabuty
ourj
eal
ousasswon'
thav
ethat.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
me?
jeal
ous?Pl
ease.
.
Hi
m:soact
ingsur
pri
sed,
youknowy
ouar
e
j
eal
ous.
.
Me:
noI
'
m not
..
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Me:yes,
Ij
ustl
ovekeepi
ngwhat
'
smi
neon
check.
.
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:Isaywon'
tnomor
e
Me:
good.
.wher
e'sLeah?
Hi
m:wi
thQ
Me:Q?
asinthepl
ayerguywhoi
sn'
ti
nto
commitment
?
Hi
m:he'
sjustscar
ed,
that
sal
l
..
Me:what
every
ousay
,he'
syourf
ri
endaf
ter
al
l
..
andLebo?
Hi
m:atherhouse,
al
soAv
e
Me:
Ishoul
dcal
lthem
Hi
m: no,r
ightnowi
tsmyt
ime,
ourt
imenoty
our
Fr
iend's.
Me:
ohw,
ok.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m donewi
tht
hel
egnow.
.
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ov eyout
oo.
.andI
'
m sor
ryaboutt
his
mor
ning..
Hi
m:i
tsok,
dontev
erdoi
tagai
n..
Me:Ipr
omi
se..
how'
sEnhl
e?I
sshest
il
latt
he
whatwhat
..
Him:Kri
s,
whenIsayi tsourti
me,Imeanit'
sour
t
ime.notalki
ngaboutEnhle,yourFri
end'
sor
yourfamil
yormi newhatsoever.
.It
sourti
me,we
t
alkaboutus,i
fitain'
taboutusdontsayit
..
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
ok,
sor
ry
Him:Iwi
ll
leti
tsli
de..
Iwanttomakel
ovet
oyou
ri
ghtnowjustsothatIcanheary
oumour
nmy
name..
Him sayingt
hatmademeawarehowmuchI
hadmi ssedhi
stouch,
hi
sli
psonmine.
Me:
what
'
sst
oppi
ngy
ou?
Hi
m:Idontwantt
ohur
tyourl
eg.
.
Me:
youwi
l
lbecar
eful
.
.
Hi
m:st
il
l,
butwewi
l
ljustcuddl
e.
Hesai
dpul
li
ngmetohim butal
lIwant
edt
hat
momentwashi
m deepi
nsideme.
Hemadememyl
i
eont
opofhi
m asher
ubbed
myback.
Hi
m:I
'
mluckyt
ohav
eyou
Me:
I'
mt heluckyone,
I
'm gl
ady
oust
il
lst
uckwi
th
mychil
dishself
..
Hi
m:t
hat
sbecauseIl
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
yout
atoomynameony
our
sel
f.
.
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Me:I'
mj oki
ng,
thatscr
azy
..
Iwon'
tev
en
encourageanyonetodoi
t..
Hi
m:whati
fIal
readyhav
eit
?
Me:
Iwi
llhav
eyoul
aseri
tof
f.
.Idon'
twanty
out
o
dot
hat
..
Hi
m:t
ool
i
ttl
etool
ate.
.
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:not
hing.
.How'
sschool
?
Me:
i
tsok.
.t
hir
dweeki
nschool
isok.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
sgr
eat
..
youshoul
dkeepi
tup.
.
Me:
Ipl
ant
o..
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ournewhai
rst
yle.
.
Me:
i
tmakesmepr
ett
yri
ght
?
Hi
m:pr
ett
ier
..
Ibl
ushed.
.
Him:youarereal
l
ybeaut i
ful,mor
ethananyt
hing
Ihaveevercameacr oss,yourey
esmakesy ou
muchmor ebeautif
ul..Nottomenti
onyoursoft
ski
nandper f
ectsexybody ..
Hesai
dtr
ail
i
nghishandaroundmybodysof
tl
y
maki
ngmeshiv
erathist
ouch.
Hi
m:y
oursmal
lwai
st,
por
tabl
eincr
edi
ble
boobs,
yourflatt
ummy ,y
oursexy
l
egs..
everyt
hingisj
ustbeaut
if
ulnott
oment i
on
yourti
ghtpussyandsmallvoi
ce.
.Justtheway
yousaymynamemakesmehar d,
thefeelof
yourbodyonmi ne.
.
Hehadhi shandsonmywai stsoftl
ysqueezi ng
ashebi thislowerl i
p.Iwasal r
eadywetandmy
breathi
nghadal readychanged. .Iwant edhi m
asmuchashewant edme, t
hehi pwillhav eto
understand.Iraisedmyheadt henkissedhi s
l
ipspassionat elyandsl owly.Hegr oaned
againstmyl i
psashemov edhi shandsi nside
theT-shir
ttomyboobs.Ist ar t
edmov i
ngmy
waistslowlyonhi sdickandIcoul df eelhim
grow,hemov edhi shandsf r
om myboobst omy
waistashehel pedmemov eonhi m.He
groanedagainashesof t
lyf
lippedmeov er
careful
lyavoidinghur ti
ngmyhi p.
Hi
m:shi
tbabe,
yourLeg!
Hesai
dwi
thar
aspyv
oicei
nmyear
sashe
wentf orneck.Icoul dn'tcont rol themour nst hat
escapedmyl ips.Het ookof fhi sT- shirtoff
me, l
eav ingmeonl yi nmypant iesbecauseI
wasn' twear i
ngmybr a.Hecuppedmyboobsi n
hishandswhi lehet railedki ssest omypant ies.
Het ookof fmypant ywi thhi st eet hsl owly
maki nggi gglewi t
hmybr eathingr ater i
sing.He
exposedmyshav edv agi nat henki ssedmy
thighst hensl owl ysepar atedmyl egsand
kissedmyi nnert highsgoi ngt omyv agina.He
kissedmyv agi nat henst ar t
edf li
cki nghis
toungemaki ngmel osei t..
"ohhShi t"Isoftl
y
mut teredashet hrusthi st oungei nmeand
rubbedmycl itwi thhi sf inger .If eltitbuildup
slowlyandmymour nsescal at edasIpushed
hisheaddeeper ,
thepl easur ehi tmehar d
maki ngmybodyshakeasIcame.Hemov ed
from myv agi nat omyl ipsandki ssedmehar d
wi t
hhi shandsal lov ermybody .Idontknow
whenhet ookof fhi ssweat pant sbutaf tera
whi l
eIf elthim easesl owl yinmeashi shands
wer eonmywai sthol di
ngmei npl ace.If eltall
ofhi m deepi nsi
deme. .hest artedmov ing
slowl ymaki ngmyt oescur l.Hishandswent
backt oboobswhi chper f
ect lyf i
tinhishand
andki ssedt hem sof tl
ybi tingme, Ifoundmy
handsi nhi shair.Adel iciousf eeli
ngwas
buildingupandIcoul df eel itwi t
hev ery
thrust."ohahh" Imour nedsof tl
yasImov edmy
wai stmeet i
nghi st hr
usti nr hythm.Hi sl ips
mov edf rom myboobst omyl ipsandki ssed
mehar d.Mybodycoul dn' ttakeany mor e, I
grabbedt heshi tsast hepl easur econt inuedt o
buildup, Ididn'tknowwhatt owi thmy sel f,
he
wast akingmet ohei ght sInev erknewexi sted.
Thehar dst rongwav eofpl easur ehi tmehar d
thatIhadt oshudder .Hewhi speredmyname
sev eral t
imeswi theacht hrust .Icamehar d,
vibratingunderhi m ashekeptonmov i
ng
maki ngt hepl easur egoonasheal socame
aftermegoi ngdeeperandhar derwi theach
thrustunt i
lhef i
nallystopped.Hecol l
apsed
besi
desmeaswecaughtourbr
eat
h.Thatwas
thebestsexIhav
eev
erhad.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t31
KRI
S
.
.
Slowlywewal keddownstai
rswithhishandon
mywai stsupporti
ngme.Myl egwasn'tthat
muchpai nf
ulbutbyexerti
ngforceonitIcould
feelt
hepain.Lastl
ywegott othelastst
airandI
couldseeMma' Nyar
adzocl
eaning.
Hi
m:si
ther
eandl
etmegety
ouf
ood.
..
Me:
iam nothungr
y..
Hi
m:Iwasn'
taski
ngy
ou
Hesaidwalki
ngawayalready
.Isi
ghedasIsat
down.Af
terawhil
ehecamebackhol di
nga
pl
ateandaglassofj
uice.
Hi
m:eat
..
Hesaidhandi
ngmet
hepl
atet
oget
herwi
tht
he
j
uice.
Hi
m:ummhIhavemadey
ouanappoi
ntment
wi
thather
api
st.
Me:
Ireal
l
ydontseet
heneedt
oseeashr
ink
Ndi
l
e..
Hi
m: It
houghtwehavegonethroughthat
al
readyKri
s..Lookj
ustonesessi
on.
.ok?
Il
ookeddownonmypl at
e.Iat
eabi tbecause
honest
lyIdi
dn'
thav
etheappeti
te.
Hi
m:i
sthatal
lyouar
egoi
ngt
oeat
?
Me:
yeah.
.I
'
m oknow.
.
Hesi
ghedashest
oodupandt
ookt
hepl
ate
backtotheki
tchen.Ashewentt
her
emyphone
ranganditwasMJ.
Me:
hey
Hi
m: Kr
is,
hey
..I
'
m wi
thAv
eandshecan'
tst
op
cr
ying.
.Areyouok?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
.
Hi
m:knowI
'
mther
ejusti
ncaseok?
Me:
Iwi
l
lkeept
hati
nmi
ndbutwhyi
sAv
ecr
ying?
Him:she'
sbeingbl
amedforyoural
mostrape
case,
peoplearet
aunt
ingheronsoci
almedia.
.
Me:pleasedon'
tl
eav
ehersi
ght
,keepheri
n
check..
Hi
m:y
eah
Me:
pleasegi
vehert
hephone.
.
Ther
ewassilencef
orawhi
l
ethenaf
terawhi
l
eI
hear
dsni
ff
ing.
Me:
Ave?
Her
:I
'm.
.I
'
m..
sor
ry
Me:
youdi
dnot
hingwr
ong.
.
Her
:Ev
eryonet
hinksI.
..
I.
.sety
ouup.
.Iswearon
mymother'
sgraveIdi
dn't.
.
Me:
peopl
ewi
l
lal
way
stal
kdon'
tmi
ndt
hem.
.
Her
:pl
easef
indi
tiny
ourhear
ttof
orgi
veme.
.
Me:don'
tdothi
stoy
our
sel
f,pl
ease.
.Idont
Bl
amey ou.
.
Her:
youar eagoodpersonKr
is,I
'
m actual
lygl
ad
Imetyou..
mywhol el
if
eIcanconfident
lysay
youarethehi
ghli
ghtofmy20y earsinthi
s
worl
d..
Me:I
'
m glady
ouf
eel
thatway
,nowst
opbl
ami
ng
your
sel
f.
.
Her
:ok,
Il
ovey
ou
Me:Il
oveyoutoo,
takecar
eofy
our
sel
f.
.Iwi
l
l
seeyouontomorrow..
Her
:ok
It
henhungup,
Bandi
l
ewasal
readyback.
Hi
m:whowast
hat
?
Me:Av
e,myfri
end.
.Wewer
etoget
heratt
he
par
tyyest
erday
..
Hi
m:t
heonewhoencour
agedy
out
othatpar
ty?
Me:
shedidn'
tdoanythi
ngwrong,
thatsi
ck.
..
God
hej
ustt
ookadvantage.
.She'
snottoblame
Him:nott
oupsetyoubutIt
hinky
ouneedt
o
chooseyourf
ri
endswisel
y.
.
Me:
Ndi
l
eAv
edi
dn'
tdoany
thi
ng.
.
Hi
m:Iknow,
I
'mj
ustsay
ing.
.
Me:
ok
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
.
Hehel
pedmestandupandwewalkedt
ohi
s
car
.Hedr
oveustothi
sbi
gbui
ldi
ng.
Me:
what
'
sthi
spl
ace?
Hi
m:hospi
tal
.
.
Isankbackont
heseat
.
Hi
m:i
twon'
ttakel
ong.
.come
Hesaidopeningthedoorforme.Rel
uctantl
yI
gotof
fthecar ,
moment sl
aterwewerewalki
ng
tosomeoffice.Westoppedbythedoorwrit
ten,
DrMalebogo,heknocked.
Me:
Idon'
tl
iket
his
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Ihear
dav oi
cegiveoutaninst
ructforust
o
comein.Heopenedthedoorandl etmegeti
n
fi
rstt
henfol
lowedbehindme.
Iwaswelcomedbysomel
ady
'sbi
gsmi
l
eand
guessshest
hedoct
or.
Her
:MrThul
ani
Shesai
dst
andi
ngup.
Ndil
e:Dr
,pl
easemeetmywi
fe,
Kri
sandbabe
t
hisisDrMalebogo.
.
Her
:ni
cet
ofi
nal
l
ymeether
,sobeaut
if
ul.
.
Ndi
le:
yeahummhifyouneedany
thi
ngbabe.
.I
'
m
aphonecal
lawayok?
Inodded,hekissedmycheekbeforeleavi
ngme
wit
hthet her
apist.Shewasst
il
lsmil
ingatme
butal
lthatwasi nmymi ndwas,
isshealso
Bandil
estherapist?
.
BANDI
LE
.
Iwalkedoutoft hehospi talandwentstraightt
o
mycar .IdrovetoQ' shouse, hehadtext
edme
earl
yinthemor ningtell
i
ngmewehav etomeet
up.Iparkedbyhi sgat ethenwalkedin.I
knockedacoupl eoftimesbef or
ehissister,
Kimberly,openedt hedoor .Shel
ookedrather
shockedt oseemet hatshebl i
nkedacoupl eof
ti
mes.
Her
:Andi
l
e
Me:
hey
,wowy
oul
ookgr
own.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her:
youwerenotexpect
ingmet
ost
ayy
oung
f
oreverwer
eyou?
Me:
obv
iousl
ynot
..
howi
sschool
?
Her
:ummhschooli
sok..
I'
mjustgl
adt
hismy
l
astyeari
nhi
ghschool
Me:
yeah.
.i
sQi
n?
Her
:ummhy
eah.
.ummhcomei
n
Shecr eat
edspaceformeandIgoti n.Iknew
Kim sinceshewas12,Ial
way sknewshehada
si
ll
yt eencrushonmeandIguessi tssti
llt
here.
IwalkedinsideandQemer ged.
Hi
m:Bandi
l
e
Me:
yeah
Hel
ookedathi
ssi
stert
henbackatme.
.
Ki
m:ummhok,
Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
..
byeAndi
l
e
Shegr
abbedherbagandwal
kedout
.
Hi
m:Iwi
sht
hisst
upi
dcr
ushwoul
dendal
ready
!
Me:
dontsweati
t,
itwi
l
lbl
owov
ersoonenough.
.
Hi
m:mxm..
anywayIcal
l
edy
oubecauseIhear
d
at
alkoutt
her
e..
Me:
atal
k?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.t
hepol
i
cear
eaf
tery
ourass
Me:
Ifi
gur
ed.
.
Hi
m:y
eah..andt
henextst
opfrom y
ourhousei
s
t
hewarehouse.
.Yourwar
ehouse.
Me:
obv
iousl
y,Iwi
l
lgetont
opoft
hatone.
.
Hi
m:someonei
saft
eryourass,
andsomet
hing
t
ell
smetheywon'
tstopt
il
ltheygety
ou
Me:Iknow,
i
t'
sTay
lorobv
iousl
yandi
t'
sbecause
ofSamuel.
.
Him:hewon'
tstopi
fyoust
il
lhav
ehi
ssi
ster
scr
eamingyourname..
Me:Iknow.
.ButI
'
m sti
l
lgoi
ngtohaveher
scr
eam myname..Asl
ongasshehasmy
hear
t.
.Idon'
tthi
nkI
'
mlet
ti
nghergo.
.
Hi
m:andt
hemur
dershi
t?
Me:
i
fIcanhackwhynothackTay
lor
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
goodl
uck,
youwi
l
lneedi
t.
.
Me:
yeah,
wher
e'sLeah?
Hi
m:sl
eepi
ng.
.
Me:
ok,
l
etmebounce
Iwalkedoutofhishouseanddrovehome,
Kri
s'
s
sessionwasgoingtotakeanhoursoIwas
goingtohavetopickherupthen.
Arriv
inghomeIsawmom' scarparkedandI
knewshewasher e.Ifeltmyangerr iseupwi t
h
eachsecond.Isati nmycart ryi
ngtogathermy
cool.Aft
erawhi l
eIwal kedi nsi
dethehouse
andIheardvoices.Mma' Nyarawasobv i
ousl
y
sti
llher
e.Iwalkedt ot
heki tchenwer ethe
voiceswerecomi ngfr
om.ThemomentIgoti n
theywentsil
ent.ShelookedatmeandIf el
ther
presencesuf
focat eme,Icoul dn'
tst
andher .
Mma'Nyara:
letmegetgoi
ng.
.UmmhBandi l
e
I
'm st
il
lgoi
ngt oZi
mbabwenextweek.
.It
oldyou
l
astmonth..
Me:
yeahi
t'
sok.
.Iwi
l
lmanaget
il
lyoucomeback
Mma'
Nyar
a:ok,
ummhIwi
l
lseey
ouI
vy
Mom:
yes,
hav
easaf
etr
ip.
.
Aft
erawhi
leMma'Nyar
awasgone.Il
ookedat
hert
ryi
ngt
ounder
standwhy
..
Me:
why
?
Mom: wheny ourdaddied,thingswer ehar d
Andi l
e,wedidn' thaveanythingsoy ourf ather'
s
brother,Desmond, off
eredapl acef orust ost ay
becausey ourf at
her'
sfami lywasgoi ngt ot hr
ow
usi nthest r
eet swithnothing.Inpl
acef orust o
stayDesmondhadoner equestandi twast hatI
mar ryhim andbecomehi ssecondwi fe.I
refusedbutst i
llheGaveusapl acet ost ay.You
wer e10byt henandEnhl ewas7.Foray ear
everythingwasokandIst artedwor kingat
Desmond' sshop.Hegav emeaj obatoneof
hisshopandhe' swifewasn' thappyatal l
..
I'
m
surey oust i
ll
r ememberhowRebeccausedt o
tr
eaty ou..themoneyIear nedf rom theshopI
usedi ttobuyf oodforyouguy sincase
Rebeccadeci dedot herwise.Desmondt henone
dayt oldmet omanaget heshopt hatday..
the
whol edayt her eandthatswhenInev ersawy ou
guy sal ot.Iagr eedbecauseweneededt he
moneyandIcoul dn'
tli
vewi thRebeccaany more.
Wor kingt hewhol edaywasar i
skbecauseI
knewmay beRebeccawi llmistreatEnhlewhile
I'
m nott her eandy oualsowheny oucomeback
fr
om school sof orawhi l
eIusedt otakeEnhle
withandy oust il
lrememberaf terschool you
woul dcomet ot heshop.Iwast ryingtomakea
l
ivingf ory ouguy s,
yourneedswer esupposedt o
bef ulfi
ll
edbymebecauseRebeccanev erl
iked
ussoshei nfluencedherhusband, Desmond, to
stopwi t
hy ourneeds.Asweeks
passed, Desmondt oldmet hathet al
kedtohis
wi f
eandshewi l
l st
ar ttr
eat i
ngy ouguy swi th
l
ov e,Ibel i
ev edhi m soIst ar tedleav ingEnhl e
behi nd.Thef i
rstdayIl efther ,whenIcameback
shewassosi ck,andwassl eeping.Rebeccat old
meshef elldownandhur ther selfandwhenI
askedEnhl ewhathappenedsheal sot oldme
shef ell
.Day sandweekspassedandev er yti
me
Icamebackf rom theshopmybabywi ll be
sleepi ng..Shest oppeddoi ngt het hingsshe
l
ov eddoi ng, neverpl ayedar oundt hatmuch. .
OnedayIcamebackal it
t l
eear lyandIf ound
Desmond. .
.He. .
.hewaspl easur i
nghi msel fwi t
h
mydaught er,My8y earol dbaby .Igotangr y
thent oldhim Iwasgoi ngt or epor thi m and
he..he. .
toldmehewoul dt akeev er yt
hingaway
from me, andIwoul dbel ef twi thnot hi
ng. .Even
theki ds. .
het oldmehewoul dgett hef ami ly
takey ouguy sawayf rom mebutIdi dn'tcar e,I
stil
lwentt othepol icest at i
on, r
epor tedhi m but
theydi dn'tbelieveme, Desmondwast hemost
respect edmani nt hecommuni ty..Theydi dn't
beli
ev eme. .Desmondev ent oldt hewhol e
communi tythatI 'm hav ingmyboy friendr ape
mychi ldren. .
.Thi ngst urnedbad, Icoul dn'tgo
anywher ewi thoutbei ngi nsultedorwi thouta
stonebei ngt hrownatme. .hef iredmeandI
didn'
tcar e..Itoldhi m Iwasgoi ngawayandI
wasgoi ngt ot akey ouguy swi thandt hat swhen
hest abbedmeandy ouguy swer et ol dt hatIt
wassomeonef rom t hecr owd. .RememberI
wasal way sinhospi talbecauset hewound
wouldn'theal ..Ther estoft hey earendedwhi l
e
mov ingbet weent hehospi t
al andhome.When
Enhlewas8, andy ouwer e11, y ougoti naf i
ght
andhur tsomeki d. .Thechi l
dwashospi tali
zed
andt hehospi tal bill
sawai tedme. .Ihadt opay
forthem andIdi dn'thav emoney ,Ihadawound
thatwoul dn' theal soy ouruncl eof fer edt opay
andi nret urnt osl eepwi thEnhl e. .It oldhi m he
canal way sgof ormebuthe. .
.her ef used. .He
want edherandhewoul dt i
emeupev eryday
andr apemychi ldinf r
ontofmewhenshe
conesbackf r
om school orsomet imesshe
woul dmi ssschool becauset hepai ni s
unbear abl e.Rebeccaknew, sheknewbutshe
di
dn' tdoany thing..Nomat terhowIt oldt
he
policet heydi dn'tbeliev eme. .Whenshewas
10,Ideci dedi twasenough, enoughofmychi ld
beenr appedev erday ,
enoughofmychi ldbei
ng
phy sical l
yandbei ngemot ional ly
abused, enoughofmebei ngbeat entoapul p
ever yday , enoughofy ouwor kingatt heshop
missi ngsomeday satschool ..Thatwasn' tt
he
l
ifeIwant edforEnhl eorf ory ousooneday
wheny oubot hwer eatschool Istabbedhimin
hi
ssl eepbuthedi dn'tdie...Rebeccacameback
earliert hanexpect edsoIhadt or unaway .
.
Afteraweeki nhospi talhecamebackhome
andhewant edt oki l
lme. .Hewasgoi ngtokil
l
mebutt hat'swhenEnhl est abbedhi mt odeath
fi
nal ly.
.wewer ealoneathomeandEnhl ehad
j
ustcomef rom school .Shest abbedhi m mill
i
on
ti
mes. .
shewasn' tt heEnhl eIknew. ..
shewasn't
i
t.Moment slatersheactedallnew,l
ikeshe
di
dn'tknowwhathappened. ..I
'm sorry
..
Ishould
havewalkedawayt hefi
rstt
ime,I
'm sorryI
coul
dn'tbethemot herIwassupposedt obe,I
'
m
sorr
yIcouldn'tgiv
ey outheli
feyoudeser ved.
.
Shewasnowonherkneescr yi
ng,Icouldn'
t
helpmyownt ear
s..
Iwentupstai
rsleavi
ngher
thereandl
ockedmy sel
finsi
de.
."
fuck!"
I
screamed.
.
KRI
S
.
Talki
ngtoDrMal ebogor eallyhel pedImustsay.
Ihaddoubtsatfirstbutt alkingr eall
yli
ft
eda
burdenoffme.Aft eranhourorsoIwal kedout
ofheroffi
ce.Iwalkedout sidecal li
ngBandil
e
buthedidn'
tanswer .Byt het i
meIgotout si
deI
couldn'
tspothi
scarany wher e,andsoIcal l
ed
hi
m againanditjustr ang.Il efthim avoicemail
.
ForaboutanhourIwai tedf orhim, buthedidn'
t
showup.I twasget t
ingabitl
atesoItri
edto
callhim again.
.andagainandagainbuthesti
ll
didn'tpi
ckup.Idi dn'
twanttostressLeahsoI
rathercall
edMJ.Hedi dn'
ttakelongtoanswer
..
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi,
arey
oust
il
lwi
thAv
e?
Hi
m:y
eah,
whatdi
dyouwant
?
Me:uhhnot
hing.
.Justwant
edt
ocheckupon
youandAve
Him:ohw,
noshesok..Tr
yingbyal
lmeanst
o
keepnegat
iveener
gyawayf r
om her
..
Me:
that
sgood,
pleasekeephersaf
e..
Hi
m:Iwi
l
l,
any
wayhowar
eyou?
Me:
me?
I'
m ok.
.al
lgood.
.awesome!
Hi
m:ok.
.
Me:
yeahby
e
Wit
hthatIhungup.Isatt
here,
evenmyanger
st
art
edcooli
ngdown.Ijustsatt
hereal
ll
ost
..
Isatdownont
hebenchwi
thmyheadbet
ween
mylegs.
"
Waiti
ngforsomeone?"Av
oicesai
dmakingme
t
urn.I
twassomegirlwhol
ookedabity
ounger
t
hanme.
Me:
yeah
Her
:canIsi
t?
Me:
ofcause.
.
Shesatdownbesi
desme.
.
Her
:I
'm Khany
e
Me:
Kri
s
Her
:t
heper
soni
srunni
ngl
ate?
Me:
yes.
.
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Her
:met
oo.
.
Wesatinsil
enceforawhi
let
here,
mymind
wasn'
teventher
e..
all
IIwast
hinki
ngwas
Bandi
l
e..
washeokordi dhefor
getme?Ididn'
t
wantt
ostressLeahbutitwasr
eal
lyget
ti
nglate.
Khany
e:ohwmybr
otheri
sher
e..
Shesai
dstandingup.
.Somecarpar
kedaf
ew
meter
sfrom us.
Her
:youcancomewi
thKr
is.
.
Me:
no,
i
tsok.
.Iwi
l
ljustcal
lmyf
ri
end.
.
Her
:ar
eyousur
e?wedontbi
te.
.
Me:
noi
tsok,
real
l
y..
Her
:ok,
i
twasni
cet
omeety
ou
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Andthenshegotinthecarandofftheywent
.I
tr
iedBandi
lesnumberagain,
thi
saroundhe
answeredbuthetookhi
stime..
Hi
m:shi
tbabe!I
'
m comi
ng.
.
Ij
usthungupandclosedmyeyest
aki
ngadeep
br
eath.
..Ti
ght
lyIshutt
hem.
..
Aft
erawhi
l
emyphoner
ang,
thi
sti
mei
twas
Leah.
.
Her
:hey
Me:
bae
Her
:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m oky
ou?
Her
:I
'm good.
.I
'
m wi
thQ.
.
Me:
youguy
sar
e..
.
Her:
no,
he'
sref
usingtol
etmegohomebecause
wel
lappar
entl
yit
snotsafe.
.andI
'
m st
uckwi
th
hi
ssnobbi
shsist
er.
.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
i
m sor
ry.
.
Her
:i
tsok.
..
youar
ewi
thBandi
l
e?
Me:no,
hel
eftmeatsomehospital
somehour
s
agoandI'
m st
il
lther
e,wai
ti
ngf
orhim
Her
:what
?
Me:y
eah,
somet
imeshe'
sact
ionsmakesme
wonder
..
Her
:whatt
heheck?
howcanhedot
hat
?
BythenIsawhi
scarcomi
ngt
owar
dsme,
I
st
oodup.
Me:
he'
sher
e,Iwi
l
lcal
lyou.
.
Her
:ok
Ithenhungupandwalkedtohiscarwhichwas
al
readyparkedafewfeetfr
om me.Immediat
ely
Igotinsi
dehestart
edwiththeapol
ogi
es..
Hi
m:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.I
'
mreal
l
yreal
l
ysor
ry.
..
Somethi
ngwasup,
Icouldfeeli
t.
.Hisvoi
cesol
d
hi
m,nott
omenti
onhisreddisheyes.
Me:
arey
ouok?
Hi
m:yeah.
.I
'
mr eal
l
ysor
ry,
Idontknowhowi
t
sl
i
ppedmind..
Me:
don'
tdot
hat
,t
alkt
ome.
.
Hi
m:i
tsnot
hing,
justgotdel
ayedsomewher
e
Me:whydoy ouli
kepushingmeaway ?Iwantto
bether
efory ou.
.whycan'ty
oujustletme..
Ilove
youandIwantt oshareyourpainwithyou.
.dont
pushmeawayNdi l
e,
pleaseletmein,l
etmebe
ther
eforyou..
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t32
KRI
S
.
.
Mybi ggestwishoneart
hisBandil
eopeni
ngup
tome, Igetthatmaybehe'
snottheemoti
onal
guy,orthatsomeonewho'sopenuponhow
theyfeeloncertai
nti
mesandatf i
rstmay
beI
didn'tcar ewhet herhe'semot i
onal or
not..
whet herhet el
lsmewhathef eelsornot ..I
t
didn'toccurt omat t
ertomebutnowt hatwe
havebeent oget herforsomet imei tstings.The
factt hatheshut smeoutcompl etelywhenev er
heneedsemot i
onal supportbreaksmyhear t
,it
alway sf eelli
keI 'mjustsomet ypi
cal girltohim,
nott hegi rlhel oves.Henev erlet'
smei n,andit
hurts..Hedr ovet ohishouse, i
nt otalsilence.I
l
ookedout sidet hroughthewi ndowasIst uckin
myheadset si nmyear sblocki
ngev eryt
hingand
j
ustl istenedt ot hesongt hatsof t
lyplay ed
maki ngmebl inkawaymyt ears.

" Yougav
emyshi
rtback
Idon'
treal
l
ygett
hemeani
ng
I
t'
sli
key
ou'
regi
vi
ngupbef
orei
tal
l
goeswr
ong
I
'
vebeent
oldbutIdon'
treal
l
yli
ket
he
f
eel
i
ng
I
'
vebeenaway
,I'
vebeenawayt
ool
ong
I
,I
,Iwannagowher
every
ouar
e
I
,I
,Iwannabewher
every
ouar
e
I
,I
,Iwannaseewhat
every
ouar
e
Yousayl
ove'
saf
ragi
l
ethi
ng
Madeofgl
ass
ButIt
hink
Yourhear
tisamuscl
e
Yourhear
tisamuscl
e
Yougot
tawor
kitout
Makei
tst
ronger
Tr
yformej
ustal
i
ttl
elonger
Yourhear
tisamuscl
e
Yourhear
tisamuscl
e
I
t'
sti
mesl
i
ket
hisy
oumustr
ecal
l
,
Yourhear
tisamuscl
e
I
t'
sti
mesl
i
ket
hisy
oumustr
ecal
l
,
Yourhear
tisamuscl
e
I
fIcoul
dtur
nthi
spl
anear
ound
I
'
dfl
ytowher
eyouar
eri
ghtnow
Wr
it
eyournamei
ntot
hesky
Hopet
hati
t'
l
lli
ghtupy
ourey
es "
Ididn'tevenreali
zewehadar r
ivedunti
lhe
gentlypatmyshoul der.I
mmedi atelyIgotof
f
hiscarwi thoutgi
vinghi mt hechancetoopen
thedoorf orme.Get t
inginsidehishouseIwas
welcomedbyaar omaoff oodthatmademe
reali
zehowmuchhungr yIwas.Ilookedbackat
Bandile..
Hi
m:mymom i
sher
e
Me:
ohw.
.
I
vyst
eppedoutfrom t
heki
tchenhol
dingadi
sh
t
owel
.Shesmiled..
Her
:Kr
is!
hi
Me:
hi,
howar
eyou?
Isai
dwal
ki
ngupt
oherandgi
vi
ngherabr
ief
hug.
Her
:I
'm ok,
you?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
.
Her
:ohw,
good.
..
dinneri
sready
..
Shesmi
l
edmot
ioni
ngust
ogo
tothekit
chen.
.Ifol
lowedhert
othekitchenand
satononeifthestool
sasshedished.Bandi
le
didn'
tfol
l
owus.
Her
:sohow'
sschool
?
Me:
school
isok,
I
'm adj
ust
ing
Her
:t
hat
sgr
eat
Shegav ememyfood.West ar
tedeat
ingi
ntotal
si
lenceandBandi
l
edidn'tev
encomet oeat.
Eachsecondhedidn'
tcomeIkeptonlosi
ngmy
appeti
te.
I
vy:
what
'swr
ong?
youhav
en'
teat
ent
hatmuch.
.
Me:
I'
mjustnott
hatmuchhungr
y..
Her
:i
sit
?what
'swr
ong?
It
ookadeepbr
eat
htr
yingt
orackmyemot
ions
i
norder
..
Me:
i
tsnot
hing,
ser
iousl
y.
.
Her
:IknowI'
m notyourmot
her
,butIcansee
t
hepaininyoureyes.
..
andI
'
mtakingi
tuponme
t
obey ourmotherthi
smoment
..What'
swrong?
Me:
Ij
ust
..
.he.
.God!
It
ookadeepbr
eat
h..
Her
:whati
swr
ong?
Me:he'
sshut
ti
ngmeout .
.Iknowsomethi
ngis
wrongbuthewon'
tl
etmei n..
.andi
tsal
ways
l
ikethat
..
heal
wayspushesmeawayandi t
hurt
s..
Her:
Bandi
l
ehasalwaysbeent
hatper
son,
that
s
whathedoes.
.Si
ncebir
th
Me:i
fhedoesn'
tneedme,orwantmethen
maybeIshoul
dleave,
itf
eelsli
keI
'
mf or
cing
myselfi
ntohi
m..
itf
eelsl
ikeI'
minaonesided
r
elat
ionshi
p
Her:
no.
.gi
vehi
mti
me.
.Hewi
l
llear
nhowt
o
openup..
Me:
yeah.
.
Her:
pleasedon'tleav
ehim..youaretheonl
y
thi
ngthatskeepinghim sanerightnow.
.i
fit
wasn'
tf ory
ouI '
m surehewoul dhave
done.
.somethingbadalready..
Me:
what
'
shappeni
ng?Whyi
shel
i
ket
hist
oday
?
Her
:hewi
l
ltel
lyouwhenhe'
sready
..
Inoddedst
andi
ngup.
Me:
ok
It
ookmypl
atet
othesi
nk.
..
Her
:don'
tbot
herwashi
ngt
hedi
shes.
.
Me:
noi
t'
sok
Her
:no,
ser
iousl
y.
.Got
osl
eep.
.i
tsl
ate
Me:
ok,
goodni
ght
Islowl ymademywayt ohi sroom, t
hinki ng
aboutmynextmov e..
Irecall
edt heletterhe
wr otef orme..hesaidhe'snotgoodatt hisbut
whywon' theeventry?Iwal kedinhisr oom and
hewassi tt
ingatthefarcornerofhi sr oom
smoki ng..Thesmel l
fil
l
edt hewhol er oom andit
didn'tseem t obotherhim.Iwal kedt ot he
bat hroom andl ookedatmyr ef
lecti
onont he
mi rror.
.
May beI'm notfightingenoughf orhim.Itooka
deepbr eathbeforewal ki
ngoutoft hebathroom.
Istoodleani ngont hebat hr
oom gl assdoor
l
ooki ngathi m.Af ewmoment si draggedmy
feettohi m andtheyf el
theavywi theachstepI
took,It
riedbyall meanst ojustcalm down.Isat
besideshi m notsay inganything..Forawhile
theresil
enceengul f
ed, heseemedl ockedupi n
hisownt houghts.Forsomeonewhoal ways
muskhisfeel
i
ngst odayIcoul
dseehewas
hur
ti
ngnodoubt .AndIdidn'
tevenknowhowt
o
hel
phim,orwhatt oevensay.
.Wewer eso
cl
oseyetsofar.
.
Me:Ihateseei ngyouli
kethi
s..I
tbreaksmy
heart.
.andIwantt obethereforyoubutyou
keeponpushi ngmeaway .I
tsli
key oudont
needme. .l
ikey oudontwantmeandI 'mjust
thatsick19y earoldwhokeepsforcinghersel
f
i
ntoy ou..
ifyouwantme. .
Iinhaledadeepbr eathr eal
i
zingwhatIwas
say i
ng, maybeitsfort hebestbecausethis
emot ionalrol
ler
coast erhemakesmego
throughhur tsmeal ot.Earl
ierwewer eokbut
nowi t'sanotherstory..I
tsli
kewet ake2steps
forwar dand6st epsbackwar dseveryti
me.
Me:i
tsokifyouwantmet oleave.
.i
fthat
swhat
youwantIwilll
eave,
thisemotionalr
oll
ercoast
er
hurt
smeev eryti
me.Onemomenty ouwantme
andthenextyoudont..Ithur
ts.
.
Ist oodupwi thoutev englancingathi mt hen
wentst raightt othebat hroom.It ookashower
asmyt earsst reameddown.May bewear ejust
notmear nttobe.Af t
erbat hi
ngIwi pedmywet
bodyandwal kedbackt ohisr oom.Iwentt ohis
closetandt ookoneofhi sshi r
tsandwor eit,
he
wasn' tint her oom any more.Af tersl i
ppinginto
hisshi r
tIcr awl edintot heblanket st hatwere
fi
lledwi thhi sCol ogne.Ev eryt
hi ngsmel thim,I
heldt hebl anket stightlysmellinghi m al lover
them ast ear sstreamed.Af t
erawhi leIhear d
thedooropenandqui ckl
yIclosedmyey es
wipi ngmyt ear soffwi thhisblanket .Ifel
this
wei ghtont hebedashegoti n.He' sbody
agai nstmi neal way sgav emet hatshi ver.He
broughtmybodymuchcl osert ohi sbutIhad
mybackagai nsthim.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.
Hewhi
sper
edsof
tl
yinmyear
s.
Hi
m:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Him:j
ust.
..
myupbr ingi
ngwasn'tthatmuchf un
l
ikeotherpeopl
e'supbringi
ng.
.Enhlesuf
fered
mostofit,
toget
herwi t
hmom. .
andIr eal
izedI
wasn'
tthereforthem..
Me:
youwer
est
il
lyoung.
.
Hi
m: st
il
l.
.Enhl
eismysmallsi
ster
..Ishoul
dhave
pr
otectedher.
.andIf
ail
ed.
.Todayshes..
.t
hings
wi
llneverbethesameforher.
.
Me:y
oucan'tchangewhathappenedinthe
past
,buty
oucanst i
l
lchangethefut
ure.
.
Hi
m:whatdi
dIdot
odeser
vey
ou?
Me:y
oulovedme..
that
swhatyoudidandIl
ove
youtoo.
.Pl
easedontshutmeout
Isai
dtur
ningt
ofacehi
m.
Him:Iwi
l
ltr
ynott
o..
howwast
het
her
apy
sessi
on?
Me:
bet
tert
hanIt
hought
..
Hi
m:t
hat
sgood,
andhow'
syourhi
p?
Me:
muchbet
ter
..
Het
rai
l
edhi
shandt
omyhi
p..
Hi
m: t
hatsgood.
.whendoesy
ourf
ir
stl
esson
st
arttomorr
ow?
Me:
10
Hi
m: ok,
Ithi
nkyoushoul
dhav
esomeofy
our
cl
otheshere.
.
Me:
yeah.
.di
dyoueat
?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
arey
oul
yi
ng?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:noI
'
m not
..
Me:youarely
ing,
youdi
dn'
teat
..
letmegowar
m
yourfood.
.
Hi
m:Kr
is!
Ist
oodup.
.
Me:
I'
m comi
ngwi
thy
ourf
ood
Isai
dwal
ki
ngoutofhi
sroom.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Itookaheavysighasshewal kedout.Ican'
t
affor
dtoloseher,
atleastnotnow.Itookmy
phoneandcalledthepsychiat
rywereEnhlewas.
Somef emaleanswered..
Her
:hel
l
o,t
hisi
s..
-
Icuthershor
t.
.
Me:
hi,
canIpl
easespeakt
ooneofy
ourpat
ient
s?
Her
:ummhgoodev
eni
ngSi
r,whi
chpat
ient
?
Me:
Mbal
i
enhl
eThul
ani
,
I'
m herbr
other
..
Her
:what
'sy
ourname?
Me:
Bandi
l
eThul
ani
Her
:MrThul
ani
,
most
lyt
hist
imet
hepat
ient
s
woul
dhavegonet
osl
eep,
soIsuggesty
oucal
l
t
omorrow.
.
Me:
please,
Iwi
l
lbequi
ck.
Her:
ok,
hol
don..Iwi
l
ldi
recty
ourcal
l
..butfi
rstI
needtol
ettheguar
dsknowshehast otal
kto
someone
Me:
ok
Ihel
dmyphonewai
ti
ng.
..
aft
erawhi
l
eIhear
d
hervoi
ce.
.
Her
:hel
l
o?
Me:
hey
Her
:Andi
l
e..
Me:
howar
eyou?
Her:
thedoct
orsay
sI'
m get
ti
ngt
her
e..
soon
enoughIwil
lbemeagai
n..
Me:
that
sni
ce
Her
:yeah.
.Ican'
twai
ttogobackt
oschool
.
.
Me:
Ican'
twai
tunt
ily
ouar
eouti
fther
e..
Her
:yeah.
.y
ouar
ethebest
..
Me:
ok.
.l
ookIwi
l
lcal
lagai
ntomor
row.
.
Her:
ok,
nextt
imey
oucomepl
easeconewi
th
Kr
is.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
ltr
y..Il
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Ithenhungup,Ifel
tmuchbet t
erafterspeaki
ng
toher.Ical
ledSenzeni
afterIdroppedhercall
.
Heanswer edaft
erawhi l
e..
Me:
war
ehousei
nor
der
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.t
heywon'
tfi
ndany
thi
ng
Me:good.
.everyt
hingi
sinor
dert
heywon'
thav
e
any
thingagainstme
Hi
m:y
eah.
.butNi
col
e..
Me:
keephert
her
e,shesst
il
lgoi
ngt
opay
Hi
m:set
ti
nganexampl
e
Me:
yeah,
itshoul
dbeloudandcl
eart
oany
one
whowil
lgonearKri
sagain
Hi
m:y
eah
Me:
okby
e
IhungupasKr
iswal
kedinhol
dingat
ray
.She
placedt
hef
oodbesi
des.
.
Her
:noweat
..
Me:
feedme
Her
:what
?
Me:
feedme
Herf
acef
lushed.
.
Her
:j
usteat
!
Me:
I'
m notgoi
ngt
oeati
fyoudontf
eedme.
.
Her
:Bandi
l
e..
Me:
I'
m sl
eepi
ng.
.
Her
:okf
ine.
.
Shel
ookedshy
,wi
thashaki
nghandshe
broughtthespoonfull
off
oodtomymouth.I
l
ookedather ,l
ovi
nghownerv
ousshewasthat
sheev enlookedcut
e.
Her
:eat
Iat
elooki
ngather
.Shet
ookherey
esof
fme.
.
Me:
weshoul
ddot
hisev
ery
day
..
Her
:youar
eoutofi
t.
.
Me:
ser
iousl
y.
.
Shecontinuedfeedi
ngmeav oidingeyecont
act
byallmeans.Ifitwasn'
tforher,Godknows
whatIwoul dhavedone.AuntRebeccai ssti
l
l
ther
e,andshehasadaught er,Tina,andGod
KnowsI '
m goingtomakeherr egr et
..
shewon'
t
knowwhathi ther.
Afewhour slat
ershewassl eepi
ngpeacef ul
lyi
n
myar ms.Herli
pswer esl
i
ght l
ypart
ed..She
l
ookedsobeaut i
ful
,andIwasj ustl
uckytohav e
her,
l
oosingherwasoutoft hequesti
on..Iheard
hermumbl i
ngsomet hi
ng.
.Ilist
enedcarefull
y
butforawhil
eshewassi l
ent."
Ndi l
e"shesof t
ly
saidagai
ninhersleep.Myhear tbeatf astasI
heardhersaymynamei nhersleep.Ihel dher
ti
ghtl
yclosetome.Thenextmor ni
ngIwokeup
andshewasst i
lli
nmyar ms.SlowlyIletgoof
herandwentdownst air
s.Aft
ert heshitIhav e
beenputti
ngherthroughshedeser v
esat reat.I
wenttothekit
chen,mom wasSt i
llnotawake.
AsIstart
edcookingIhear daknock.Iwentt o
thedoorandsurpri
singl
yLebogangst oodt here
onmydoorst ep.
Her
:wher
e'sshe?
Me:
nogr
eet
ings?
Her
:wher
ethehecki
ssheBandi
l
e?
Me:
wher
e'swho?
Idontknowy
ou
Her
:Ni
col
e..Wher
e'sshe?
Me:
Idontknow,
howwoul
dIknow?
Her
:pl
ease.
..
pleasedonthur
ther
..
WhenIwasst
il
li
nar
elat
ionshi
pwi
thNi
col
ethe
onl
ypersonImetwashermot
her,
asforher
si
stersheonl
yshowedmeonherphone.
Me:
keepy
our
sel
fsaf
e..
Her
:wear
ereal
l
ysor
ry.
.Iwi
l
ldoany
thi
ng,
please
Shewentdownonherknees
Me:
stayawayf
rom Kr
is.
.Si
mpl
e
Her
:whataboutmysi
ster
?
Me:
dontwor
ry.
.
Isai
dcl
osi
ngthedoor.ThemomentIwalked
backKr
iswasst
andingther
elooki
ngatme.
Her
:whowast
hat
?
Me:
someonewho'
slost
,I
'
m maki
ngbr
eakf
ast
..
Isaidasiwal
kedt
otheki
tchenandshe
fol
lowedbehi
ndme.
Her
:ok.
.
Shesatonthest
ool
asIcooked.Af
terIwas
doneIgavehert
hef
ood.
Her
:t
hist
ast
esni
ce
Me:
whatcanIsay
..
I'
m good.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:ok.
.
Sheat
efr
owni
ng.
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Her
:wi
thwhat
?
Me:
youar
efr
owni
ng.
.
Her
:I
'm scar
ed.
..
Me:
scar
edofwhat
?
Her
:school
..
peopl
eknowwhathappened.
.
Me:so?l
ookitdoesn'tmatt
er,
bytheway.
.you
werethevi
ctim andtherewasnowhereyour
namewasment ioned.
.Peopl
edontknow
you,
onlyAve
Her
:I
'm sogl
adMJi
sther
eforher
..
.
Me:
MJ?
Her
:af
ri
end.
.
Me:
ok
Herphonevi
brat
ed,
shetookitandstar
ted
smil
ingal
onewit
hthephone.Mom then
emerged.
.
Mom:
mor
ning
Me:
mor
ning.
.
Kr
isputherphoneaway
Kr
is:
mor
ningmma
Mom satdownasIdi
shedupf
orher
.
Kr
is:
l
etmegobat
h..
Shesai
dst
andi
ngup.
.
Mom:
ok
Shewentupst
air
s..
Mom:
howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
oky
ou?
Mom:
ok.
.IknowI
'
m noty
ourf
avour
it
eper
son
r
ightnowsoI
'
m goi
ngback
Me:
no.
.pl
easestay.
.I
'm sor
ryaboutwhatIsai
d,I
wasj
ustangr
y..
Ilov
ey ou
Mom:
Il
ovey
out
oobaby
..
Shesai
dget
ti
ngof
fthest
ool
andhuggi
ngme.
Mom:
i
sKr
isnotgoi
ngt
oschool
today
?
Me:
shei
s..
.herf
ir
stl
essonst
art
sabi
tlat
e..
Mom: ohw..
shesagoodgir
l.
.y
oushoul
dmar
ry
her
,shestheoneforyou
Me:
yes,
Il
oveher
Mom:
Iknowt
hat
swhyy
oushoul
dkeepher
..
Me:
Iwi
l
l,
letmegocheckonher
..
Isai
dwal
ki
ngupst
air
stomyr
oom.
Thef actthatIlovehersomuchmakesme
thi
nkt hatifithappensthatIcan'thav
eherin
thefuture,nooneel sewillbecauseIhav
e
i
nv estedmyhear ti
ntoher,
shegotmehooked
andIdontt hi
nkIwi l
levergetunhooked,Iwi
l
l
ki
l
lforher
..
.
KRI
S
.
AsIwastaki
ngt
heshowerIf
elthi
shandson
wai
stbr
ingi
ngmeclosert
ohi
m unti
lIcoul
dfeel
hi
m onmyass.
Me:Ndil
eIdontwantt
obelateat
school,
remembery
ouhavetodropmehomeso
Ichangeint
onewclot
hes
Hi
m: wewil
lpassbyt
hemal
landbuynew
cl
othes.
.
Hesaidashesof tl
ykissedmyneck.It i
lt
edmy
neckgivi
nghim bett
eraccess..Heslowly
massagedmyboobst henturnedmear ound
andmyhandshungi nhisshoulder
spul l
i
nghim
i
nf oraki
ss.Moment slaterIhadmyl egs
wrappedinhi
swai stwithhim goi
nginandout
ofmemaki nglosemybr eath.
 *
***
***
***
***
***
Itookadeepbr
eat
hashepul
l
edatt
he
univer
sit
y.
Hi
m:i
fitbecomest
oomuchj
ustcal
lmeok?
Inoddedr
epeat
edl
ynott
rust
ingmyv
oicet
hat
much.
Hebroughtmyfaceclosertohi
sthengentl
y
ki
ssedmyl i
ps.
."
Ilov
ey ou"hemutter
edin
bet
weent heki
ss.
Hepul
l
edoutbutst
il
lcuppedmyf
ace.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hi
m:t
her
esLeah.
.
Ifol
l
owedhiseyesandmyey esmetLeah'
sas
shegotoutf
rom somecarandshewaswithQ.
Hi
m:cal
lmeok.
.
Me:
ok
Hepressedhi
sli
psagai
nstmyf
oreheadbef
ore
l
ett
ingmego..
Iwal
kedt
owar
dsLeah.
Shehuggedmet
ight
ly.
.
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Her
:Ihat
emy sel
fri
ghtnow,
i
fIwasn'
ttoobusy
get
ti
ngdrunk.
.-
Me:i
tsi
nthepast
,i
tsnobody
'sf
aul
t.
.Andpl
ease
beni
cetoAve.
.
Her
:I
'm al
way
sni
ce
Ipul
l
edawayf
rom t
hehugandl
ookedather
..
Her
:okokf
ine.
.
Me:
good.
.
Wewal
kedi
n,
peopl
ewer
ebusyl
ooki
ngatus.
.
Me:
didt
heywr
it
emynameonsoci
almedi
a?
Her:
no,Idontt
hinktheyknowyournameplus
t
heywoul dn'
tdare,
notaft
erhowSenzeni
t
hreatenedthewholecrowd..
Me:
thr
eat
ened?
Her
:yeahbutdon'
tmi
ndi
t.
.Ort
hem.
Aswewerewalki
ngi
sawAv
eandMJwal
ki
ng
j
usti
nfr
ontofus.
Me:
Ave!
Shequi
cklytur
nedbutshewasput
ti
ngona
scuf
fcoveri
ngherhead.
.
Me:
what
'
swi
tht
hedi
sgui
sel
ook?
MJ:
toav
oidpeopl
ejumpi
ngather
..
Me:
oh,
howar
eyou?
Av
e:I
'
m oky
ou?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne,
l
et'
sgot
ocl
ass.
.Seey
oul
aterLeah
Leah:
yeahby
e..
Shewal
kedawayt
oget
herwi
thMJ.
Me:
youandMJseem cl
ose.
.
Her:
he'
strul
yagoodf
ri
end,
hewaswi
thmeal
l
weekend.
.
Me:
youknowwhatImean.
.
Shechuckl
edmaki
ngmel
augh.
.
Her
:yourboy
fri
endi
snott
heguyIhadi
nmi
nd.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
tr
yingt
ochanget
hesubj
ect
?
Her
:i
sitwor
king?
*
***
***
***
***
***
*
Lizzy:
Idontthi
nkyourdadr
eal
l
yfanci
esy
our
relat
ionshi
pandyouknowwhy..
Me:canever
ybodyj
ustgi
vehi
m achance?
Ilov
e
hi
m,andthat
snotgoingt
ochangeanyt
ime
soon..
Li
zzy
:Iknow,
Iwi
l
ltr
ytot
alkt
ohi
m..
Me: y
eahbecausehonest
lyIt
hinkI'
m old
enoughtodatewhoeverIwanttodate..
eveni
f
he'sacri
minalbuthehasneverendangeredmy
l
ife.
.
Li
zzy
:yeah,
Iwi
l
ltr
ytor
easonwi
thhi
m..
Me:
pleasedo.
.Iwi
l
lcal
l
Li
zzy
:ok,
Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
IhungupasIt hrewmy selfonthebed. Itooka
heavysi gh.Itsbeenaweekandf inallyItook
thecour aget ocal lLizzyaboutBandi l
e,Calli
ng
dadwast heplanbutIchangedmymi nd.
School hasbeenok, peoplestil
lgivemewei r
d
l
ooksandsomest udent shavealreadyaskedt o
j
oinsomepr ogramsi nt heschool thatfi
ght
againstr ape.Av eisst il
lkeepi
ngherdi sguise
andunder standwher eshescomi ngf r
om, some
peopleal way swantt of i
ndfaultwher eitisn'
t
ther
e.ItwasFr idayandIhadnopl anf orthe
day,
Leahwasn' tbacky et,
herandQseem t obe
gett
ingpr ett
ycloseagai n.Ist
oodupt ochange
tocomf or tabl
ecl othesbutgotst oppedbyMJ
call
i
ngme.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hey
,howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m ok.
.
Hi
m:Ineedy
ourhel
p..
Me:
shoot
..
Him:i
tsAve,
Iwantt
oaskheroutbutI
'
m scar
ed
ofgett
ingbur
ned.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Hi
m:dontl
augh.
.
Me:
ok,
j
ustaskheroutt
hen.
.
Hi
m:doesshef
eel
thesamet
hough?
Me:
wel
l
...
Him:
Ijustwantatl
eastmakesur
eshef
eel
sthe
same.
.
Me:
Ithi
nkshedoes.
.
Hi
m:ok,
shi
tI'
m soscar
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m sur
eit
sthef
ir
stt
imehi
tt
ingonagi
rl
..
Him:i
tsnotbutt
hist
imeitsdi
ff
er ent.
.Ilov
e
her,
I
'minlovewi
thher.
.andI
'm scared..Whati
f
shedoesn'
tfeel
thesame
Me:y
oucannev
erknowunt
ily
ouask,
j
ustgof
or
i
t.
.
Him:ok,
Iwil
lj
ustst
artbyaski
nghert
obemy
datetoni
ght
..
Me:
goi
ngsomewher
e?
Him:
yeah,t
her
e'st
hisf
unct
ion.
..It
hinky
ouar
e
comi
ngt oo
Me:
comi
ngt
oowher
e?
Beforehecoul danswermybedr oom door
swungopenandhegoti n..
helookedf l
y.
.he'
s
dressi
ngj ustgotmewetandal lj
ealous.He
wasdr essedupi naanav ybluechino,ali
ght
bluestri
ppedShi r
tuntucked,anavyblueboreti
e
andblackadi dassneaker.Hehadr edonehis
mohol kbutonlythehairinthemiddlewasabi t
short.
Me:
ummhIwi
l
lcal
lyou.
.
Hi
m:okby
e..
It
henhungup.
.
Ndi
l
e:hey
Me:
ummhhi
..
Ndi
l
e:I
'
mtaki
ngy
ouout
Me:
outwher
e?
Hewal
kedoutofmyr
oom thencameback
moment
slat
erhewal
kedbackinwit
hsome
l
ady
.
Hi
m:shewi
l
lhel
pyoudr
essup.
.
Het
henwal
kedoutagai
n.
Lady
:hi
,
I'
m Nt
habi
seng.
.
Me:
ohw.
.
Her
:wecanst
artbyashower
..
Me:
ok
Iwalkedoutofmyroom andgazedinthel
iv
ing
room buthewasn'
tther
esoIwentinthe
bathroom andt
ookashower.Aft
erbat
hingI
walkedt omyr oom.Abeauti
fulmermaiddress
wit
hahi ghsl
itwaslayedonthebed.
theupper
partwasLaceysoi twasaseet hr
ough,then
fr
om t hemidthighandbelowwasalsoLacey .
Onlyfrom themi dt
highuptothewaistwas
covered.
Me:
i
sthatmi
ne?
Her
:yes.
..
let'
sdoyourmakeupandhai
r
i
ncl
udingy ournai
l
sfi
rst
.
Isatdownont hesmal lstoolofthedressi
ng
tabl
eandshest art
edwi thmyhai rthenthe
makeupt henlast
lythenails.Bythetimeshe
mademel ookatmyr efl
ect i
ononthemi rr
orI
couldn'
tevenrecognizemy self
.
Me:
wow!
Her
:yes,
nowt
hedr
ess.
.
Shehelpedmewearthedresstoget
herwit
ht he
heel
s.Ireal
l
ylookedbeaut
iful
,l
ikeagoddess.
Her
:and?
Me:
i
tsni
ce.
.
Her
:yes,
MrThul
ani
isr
eadyf
ory
ou.
.
Hesaidhandingmeapur se.Wal ki
ngoutofmy
room againi
ntothesi
tti
ngroom hewast here.
He'seyessettl
edonme.Hewal kedtowardsme
anddraggedmet owardshim,beforehecould
tal
kNt habi
sengcame.
Her:
i
twasni
cewor
kingwi
thy
ou.
.Iwi
l
lseey
ou
ar
ound.
.
Me:
thanky
ou
Her
:j
ustdoi
ngmyj
ob.
.
Shethenwalkedoutaf t
erBandi
l
egavehera
nod.Bandi
l
eshandswentt omyassandhe
squeezedmet hatIgasped.
Him:i
fonl
yyouknewwhatIwantt
odot
oyou
r
ightnow.
.
Helaunchedf
oradeepkiss,
fullofurgencyas
hepushedmeunti
lIwasagai nstthewall.He
pi
nnedmyhandsont opofmybodyt otal
ly
dominat
ingmybody.Byallmeanshepul
l
edout
andsworebeneat
hhisbreat
h.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo,
wewi
l
lfi
nisht
hiswhenwegetback.
Het
ookmyhandandledmeout
,t
othel
i
ftt
hen
t
oaMatebl
ackAust
inmart
in
Me:
Shi
t!
your
s?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Heopenedthedoorforme.Igoti
nthenheal
so
goti
nthenspedoff
.
Me:
wher
eexact
lyar
ewegoi
ng?
Hi
m:somebusi
nesspar
t.
.
Me:whyareyougoi
ngi
fyouar
enotr
unni
ng
yourbusi
ness?
Hi
m:becauseIown79%ofthecompany.
.I'
m
t
hechair
personsoIoughtt
obether
e.
Inodded.
.
Hest
oppedonthi
slar
gebui
l
ding,j
ustby
l
ooki
ngati
tIcoul
dtel
lhowfancyi
tmustbe
i
nside.Hegotof ft
hecarandcamet omyside
openingthedoorforme.Heputhishand
for
war dandhelpedmegetoffhiscar.Wi
thhis
handonmywai stwewalkedi
nside,wepassed
therecepti
oni
stweresomegirlwas.
Her
:MrThul
ani
Bandi
l
e:Li
nda.
.
Wepassedherandwentt
othel
i
ft.
Me:
i
sthi
sal
lyour
s?
Iaskedassoonast
hel
i
ftst
art
edmov
ing.
Him:yeah,
bei
ngacrimi
nal
requi
ressuch.
.a
coverupisneeded.
.
Me:
ok
Theli
ftf
inall
yst
oppedandopened.Peopl
e's
eyesset
tledonusputt
ingmeatunease..
.
Hi
m:t
heydon'
tbi
te,
l
et'
sgo
Icoul
dtell
theywerepeopleofhighcl
ass.
Every
thi
ngwasjustinorder,
eventhewaythey
wer
edr
essed.Ner
vousl
ysmil
edaswewal
ked
i
n.Wewal
kedtosomeguy..
Ndi
l
e:St
eve
Hi
m:Bandi
l
e,gl
ady
oumadei
t.
.
Ndil
e:y
eahummht hi
sismywomanandbabe
t
hisistheguywhorunst
hecompany
..
Hest
uckouthi
shandt
omet
henbr
ief
lyIshook
i
t.
.
St
eve:
nicet
omeety
ou.
.
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Steve:
ummhBandile,
youmi ghtwantt
o
associ
ateabit
..
youappeari
nginthenewspaper
covertomor
rowisimport
ant.
Ndi
l
e:ok,
l
et'
sgobabe.
.
Wewal kedawayfrom t
hisSteveguyandthat
'
s
whenInoticedAveatthefarendwithMJ.She
not
icedandwav edatme,Iwavedbackwitha
smil
e.
Ndi
l
e:y
ourf
ri
end?
Me:
fr
iends,
whoar
ethi
speopl
e?
Isai
dlooki
ngatsomecoupl
ewewer
eheadi
ng
towar
ds.
Hi
m:somecoupl
eIshoul
dent
ert
ain.
.
Bythenwewer
eal
readyst
andi
ngi
nfr
ontof
them..
Ndi
l
e:MrandMr
sVanGeor
ge
MrVanGeor
ge:
youngman
TheyshookhandsasIsmi
l
edbr
ight
lyatt
hem.
MrVanGeor
ge:bei
ngsuccessf
ulatsuchy
oung
agei
sanachi
evement
Ndi
l
e:har
dwor
kpay
s..
MrsVanGeor
ge:
andt
hat
sthespi
ri
t,y
oungl
ady
howarey
ou?
Me:
I'
m goodandy
ou?
Her
:I
'm good,
ni
cedr
ess.
.
Me:
soi
syour
sbutt
hanky
ou.
.
Momentslat
erNdilewaschatt
ingto2ol
d
men,hel
ookedandactedli
keat r
uebusi
ness
manmakinghim extr
asexy,
eventhewayhe
smi
led.
Her
:r
elax,
he'
sal
lyour
s..
Av
esai
dasIwasnowst
andi
ngbesi
desher
..
Me:he'
ssohot
,someti
mesi t
shardtobel
i
evehe
chosemeoutofotherbeaut
iful
gir
ls.
.
Av
e:wel
lyoubet
teraccepti
t,
he'
sforkeeps.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.so?
Her
:so?
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
stopmaki
ngmeaf
ool
.
.soy
ouandMJ?
Her
:not
hingy
et,
butsoonenough.
.Il
i
kehi
ma
l
ot
Me:
mhhhm.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:ummhy
ourmani
scomi
ngourway
..
.
Il
ookedathim ashepossessedf
rom al
langl
es
wi
thallconf
idencewal
kingtowar
dsme.
Hi
m:canIst
eal
her
?
Av
e:gor
ightahead.
.Iwi
l
lseey
ou
Me:
ok.
.
IletBandi
let
akemebymywai
standwewent
totheli
ft.
Me:
l
eav
ingal
ready
?
Him:t
hisshi
tisbori
ng.
.I'
dratherhav
eushav
e
ourownlit
tl
epartyorwhat?
Hesaidcorneri
ngmeinthel
if
t,
thentuckedmy
hai
ratthebackofmyear.Mybreathi
ng
hi
tched.
.Hekissedmycheekbefor
eletti
ngme
goandthelif
topened.
Wewal kedoutt
owardshi
scar,
qui
ckl
yhe
openedthedoorformeandIgoti
n.The
momenthegoti nhespedof f.Hi
shandfound
myexposedt high,
her ubbedmyt highgoingt
o
myinnerthighs.Ipar
tedmyl egsashishand
wentstr
aighttopussyandr ubbeditontopof
mypanties."Shit
"heexcl ai
medMaki ngme
openmyey es.Hewi thdrewhi shandasheput
bothhandsont hesteeringwheel..
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Hi
m:someonei
saf
terus.
.
Wit
hpanickIl
ookedbackandi
ndeedt
her
ewas
acarbehi
ndours.
Heputhi
shandunderhi
sseatt
hent
ooki
tout
wi
thagun..
Me:
Jesus!
Hi
m:relax,
I
'm sor
ryy
ouar
egoi
ngt
owi
tness
t
his.
..
Immedi
atel
yaft
erhesai
dt hatIhear
dgun
shor
tsmaki
ngmesqueal andscream asIput
myheadbetweenmylegsandIcouldf eel
the
carspi
ral
outofcont
rol
..
.
SAM
.
mi
ke:
fuck!
Me:
what
?
Mi
ke:
yoursi
steri
sint
hecar
..
Me:
shi
t!Tel
lthem t
ost
op.
.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
Sor
ryi
tcamelat
e,Ilovey'
al
l.
.Keepon
commenti
ngandliking
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t33
KRI
S
.
.
Thecarswayedforawhil
ethenitbecame
st
eadybutsti
ll
mov i
ng.Thegunshotsal
so
st
opped.Ist
il
lkeptmyheadbetweenmyl egs
asIf
eltmyheartbeathar
dagainstmychest.
Hi
m:babe?
arey
ouok?
Heaskedbuthi
svoi
cesoscrat
chy.Irai
sedmy
headsotol
ookathi
m andhenowhadoneof
hi
shandonmyhairwhil
etheotheronthest
eer
wheel
.
Hi
m:Kr
ist
alkt
ome,
arey
ouok?
Slowl
yInodded,
andIsawr
eli
efbr
ushov
erhi
s
face.
Him:
I'
m sor
ry.
.Idontev
enknowwhat
'
sgoi
ng
on.
.
Hesai
dtaki
nghi
sphoneanddi
ali
ngsome
numberwhi
l
edri
vi
ng.
Him:Q..
I'
m comi
ngov erri
ghtnow..
no,
Ihad
peopleaft
erme..
.yeah.
.Noshesok..j
ustabut
shaken.
.j
ustcal
lsomeone..Yeah
Hethenhungupandgr
oaned.
.Qui
ckl
yIsetmy
ey
esonhim.
Me:
arey
ouok?
Him:
yeah,
aslongasy
ouar
eokI
'
m per
fect
ly
f
ineKri
sti
n..
Inoddedast
eat
sst
reamed.
.
Hi
m:that
...
itshoul
dn'
thav
ehappened.
.NotI
'
m
f
rontofyouatleast
Me:
itsok,
atl
eastnoonei
shur
t.
.
Hi
m:mhhm
Her espondedbuti tcameoutmer el
yaudibl
e.
Afterawhi l
et hecarhadparkedsomewher e
andsur pri
singlyInoti
cedLeah'
scarparked
nexttot hi
sot herChevrol
et.
Me:
Leah?
Hi
m:y
eah,
gocal
l
..-
Beforehecoul
dfini
shhi
ssent
enceQcameout
buttoget
herwit
hLeah.I
mmediatel
yIgotof
fas
Irushedtowar
dsLeahwhohuggedmet i
ght
ly.
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:l
et'
sgoi
nsi
de.
.
Me:
no.
.I
'
m goi
ngwi
thNdi
l
e..
Her
:ummhQ.
.
Shesai
dmaki
ngQcomet
owar
dsus.
.
Q:ummhKr
is.
.It
hinky
ouwill
crushher
etoni
ght
,
Bandi
l
eandIneedtosor
tthi
sout..
Itur
nedtoBandi
leandhehadhisheadonthe
st
eerwheel.Qui
ckl
yIwalkedt
owardshim
openinghi
sdoor,
sl
owlyherai
sedhi
shead.
Me:
wear
egoi
nghomer
ight
?yourhouse?
Hi
m:j
ustf
or.
..
Hegr
oanedagai
n..
Me:
arey
ouok?
Hi
m:mhhm.
.
Me:
Iwantt
obewi
thy
ou
Hi
m:Qwi
l
ltakecar
eofy
ou.
.Il
ovey
oubut
ter
fl
y.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
IsaidasIl eanedov erandhuggedhi mt ightly.
Heki ssedmyf oreheadasIbur iedmyf irstin
hisBuf fychestthatmademef eelsaf e,
made
mebr eathandy earnf oranotherday .Ilethi m
goaf terawhi l
e,andt hatswhenIsawv isible
paint hatIcoul
deasi l
yat t
ainjustbyl ooki ngat
him...Myey eswentdownt ohisshi r
tandI
couldseebl oodt hroughhi sShi rt
.Myhear t
moment ari
lystoppedbeat i
ngasIcoul df eelthe
painsoot heinslowl ymaki ngithar dformet o
breath.Istoodt hereal l
frozenut ilIfeltwar m
tearswar m mycheeks.
Q:
hewi
l
lbeok,
he'
saf
ight
er.
.
Qsaidashepushedmeawayf
rom t
hecarwi
th
hi
m gett
ingi
n.
Hedrovethecarawaybutmyey escouldn'tlet
i
tgooutofsight.
.If
eltmyt ear
ssett
leinmy
eyes,
ever
ythi
ngwasj ustgoingsl
owly,
not hing
madesense.
Ittookmeafewsecondst obr
eakint
oal oud
cry
.Whycouldn'
tIj
ustbehappy,l
i
keother
people?Whydoesbadthongsl
iketohappento
me?
IdontknowhowbutIwokeupi nabed,
cover
ed
i
nbl ankets,t
heheadacheIwashavi
ngwas
enought okillme.Myeyesroamedaround
tr
yingtogetwher eIam.Themomentt hedoor
openedLeahemer gedholdi
ngacup.Seei
ngher
broughtyest er
day'
smemor i
esbacki
ntomy
headandt heyfel
tfr
esh.
Me:
Ndi
l
e..
Her
:Qsay
she'
sgoi
ngt
obeok,
he'
saf
ight
er.
.
Shesai
dgi
vi
ngmet
hecup,
acupofcof
fee.
Me:
Iwantt
oseehi
m..
Her
:yeah,
l
et'
sjustwaitunt
ilQcomesback.You
l
ookedbeauti
fulyest
erday
..
Me:
i
twasal
lBandi
l
e..
Shesof
tl
ynodded.
..
Af
terawhi
l
ewehadsomeonecal
lLeahsname.
Her
:t
hat
sQ
ShesaidWalki
ngout.Ist
umbledoutofbed
thenqui
ckl
yputthecupdownwal ki
ngout.I
foundQsit
ti
ngdownwi thLeah.
Me:
i
sheok?
Q:
yeah,
hewi
l
lbeok
Me:
what
'
sthatsupposedt
omean?
Q:he'
s.
..
he'scr
it
ical
,wehadtotakehi
mtoa
hospi
tal
..Andhelostl
otsofbl
ood.
Me:
whati
sthedoct
orsay
ing?
Q:
i
tshar
dtot
ell
now.
.pl
ushe'
sbeenar
rest
ed.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
arr
est
ed?
Q:
yeahandsomet
hingtel
lsmey
ourdadhas
ev
eryt
hingt
odowiththi
s..
Me:
mydad?
Q:yourdadandbr otherdontwantyouand
Bandil
et obetogether.
.Nowy ourdadsetup
Bandil
e..Ther
ewer edr ugsathi
shouselotsof
them..
andhe'sgoingt ojai
limmediat
elyaft
erhe
wakesup.
Me:Sam saidhewasokwi
thBandi
l
eandme
bei
ngtogether
..
Q:i
twasacov erup,
theonl
ywayt ost
opal
lthi
s
i
sbyy ouguysbreaki
ngup,becauset
hel
oveyou
guyshaveuponeachotherisgoingt
oKi
ll
Bandi
le.
.
Me:
buthesai
d,nomat
terwhatwewoul
dfi
ght
f
orourl
ove.
..
Myt ear
shadalr
eadyst
art
edst
reaming,Iknew
wherethiswasgoi
ngbutmyheartr
efusedto
bel
ieve.
.
Q:Iknowbutl ookwhat '
shappeningKr i
s...
and
that'
snotal lt
hat'
sgoingtohappen. .Alotmore
worset hingswil
lhappen.Igeti
t,
y oulov eeach
other.
.AndIl ovetheloveyouhav e,t
he
bond..butthi
sstrongattr
acti
onbet weeny ou
guysisgoi ngtokil
lsomeone,it
'st oxi
c..It
s
danger ousand..
..
Idontknowwhatt osay
anymor e..
Islowlysatonthecouchsi l
entl
ycry
ing,
thef act
thatwecan'tbet ogetherbr
okemyheart.why
couldn'
ttheyjustletusbe?Idontt
hinkthere'
s
anyoneoutt her
ewhounder st
andhowmuchI
l
ov eBandil
e..
Me:
Iwantt
oseehi
m..
Q:
ok,
Iwi
l
lgot
akeabat
hthenwego.
.
Hestoodupanddi
sappearedsomewher
e
l
eavi
ngmewi t
hLeah.
..Shecameandwipedmy
t
ear
swhi
chwer
esi
l
ent
lygushi
ngout
.
Her:
I'
m notgoingtotel
lyouwhattodobecause
Idontknowwhaty oushoulddobutany
deci
siony oumakeknowI '
m behi
ndyou.
.Iwi
ll
supportyouallt
heway..
Inodded.
.
Afterawhi l
eLeahl edmet ot hebathroom soI
bath.Iletthecol dwaterhitmyski n,awakening
everyfeelingi nme,bri
ngi
ngar eali
zati
ont hatno
mat t
erwhat ,
I'
m goingtolosehi m eit
herway .If
i
tsDadt heni tmeanshewon' tstopatanycost ..
AndSam, allalongIthoughtwewer emaki ng
progressbuthewaspl ot
ting.Forthef i
rstti
meI
knewIwoul dnev erforgi
vethem f orthi
s..
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
He'sbodywasconnect edtomachi nesthatkept
makingthi
snoise.
..He'sli
fewasj ustholding
andleani
ngonmachi nes.Icouldn'thel
pt he
tear
sthatst
ungmyey es.Hishandwascuf f
ed
tothehospi
tal
bed.Itrail
edmyhandonhi sf ace
asmyt
ear
sfel
l
.
Me:Il
oveyou,
Il
oveyousomuch..
andIdont
wanttol
oseyou,notl
i
kethi
s..
Iwhi
sper
edasIhel
dhi
shand.
Me:
Inev
erwant
edt
oacceptt
his.
..
but
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me: eversi
nceIcamei nt
oy ourl
i
fe,Ihavetur
ned
i
tint oacompl et
emess..t
odayI'
m stil
lthe
reasony ouarehere,
I'
m st
il
l t
hereasony ougot
arrested.
.I'
m sorr
y..

Isatont hechai rthatwasi nther oom, l

i
steni
ng
tohisheartbeatont hehear tmoni t
or.Myheart
wassoheav y,thepai nthatIwasf eeli
ngwas
beyondany thing...SeeingtheguyIl ovewi t
h
everyt
hingIhav elyingthereli
fel
esslykill
edme
andtherewasnot hingIcoulddo.Thedoor
openedmaki ngmest andupandt ur
n.ItwasIvy
andshewaswi t
ht hisothergi
rl.
.whol ookeda
fewyearsol
derthanme.Iv
ycameandhugged
met i
ghtl
ymakingmecryinherar
ms.Making
meletital
lout
..Thepai
nIhadbeenhol
ding
aback.
.
Her
:Godi
sincont
rol
..
.
Shewhi
sper
edsof
tl
y.
.
Af
terawhi
l
eIhadcal
meddown.
Her:
I'
m happyy ouar
eok. .
.Andi
l
eisafi
ght
er,
he
wil
lpul
lthrough,wejusthavetopr
ay.
.
Inodded.
.
Her
:ummht
hisi
sSabr
ina,
shesacousi
n..
Me:
nicet
omeety
ouSabr
ina.
.
Sabr
ina:
yeah.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
sspace
Sabr
ina:
yes
IwalkedovertoBandi
leandki
ssedhi
s
for
ehead.."
Iloveyou"
Iwhisperedbef
orewal
ki
ngout .Istar
ted
walkingoutoft
hehospi
taltot
hepar kingLott
whereQandLeahwer ewaiti
ngf orme.Igot
stoppedbysomeonecall
ingmyname, It
urned
anditwasSabrina.
Shewal
kedt
owar
dsme.
Her
:Kr
ist
in.
.
Ismi
l
edwai
ti
ngf
orhert
otal
k.
Her
:Igett
haty
ouloveAndil
e,
andhemeansa
l
ott
oy oubutQtol
dme..ev
eryt
hing
Me:
tol
dyouwhat
?
Her:abouthowy ourdadandbr otherarethe
causeofal l
t hi
s,
IthinkyoushouldleaveBandil
e
al
one, forhisownsaf etyatl
east.
.l
ooknowhe' s
goingtoj ailbutallbecauseofyou.Ify
out r
uly
l
ovehi my ouwi l
ll
ethim go..
Ichuckl
ed
Me:l
ookSabri
na,nott
oberudebutyoudont
knowanyt
hingaboutmeandNdil
e,y
ouknow
not
hingandIdontcar
ewhaty
ouandQar
e
goi
ngtosay.
.
Her:
buttheny ousayy oul
ov ehim..
can'tyou
see?eversincehemety ou,i
t'
sbeenpr obl
em
aft
erapr oblem?Doy ouwantt okil
lhim
becauseIcanseet hatswhaty ouandy our
famil
yarepl anni
ng.Justl
eav ehim!
lethim
l
ive.
..
ifyout r
ulyl
ovehimy ouwi l
ldowhat '
s
ri
ght.
.
Shesai
dbef
orewalki
ngaway.Ibl
i
nkedaway
mytear
sandwalkedtot
hecarandgoti
n.
Leah:
wecango?
Me:
yeah,
dropmeatt
hef
lat
..
Q:
ok
Hestart
edhi
scaranddr ov
estr
aighttothef
lat.
Idi
dn'
tevenwaitf
oranythi
ng,
assoonast he
carst
oppedIgotoff
.Leahcamer unni
ngbehind
me.
Her
:whathappened?
Me:Ev
ery
onesay
sIshoul
dbr
eakupwi
thhi
m,t
o
sav
ehim..
Shedidn'
tsayany
thi
ngmaki
ngmet
urnt
olook
ather
..
Me:
youagr
eedon'
tyou?
Her:
I.
.ummh..
Idon'
tknowKri
s..
youknowy
our
dadwon'tst
opti
lly
ouguysbreakup.
.
Me:
soy
ouagr
ee.
.
Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
otheel
evat
or.
.
Igoti
nwi
thher
..
Themomentwegott ot
hef
latIr
eal
i
zedt
he
doorwasunl
ocked.
Me:
didy
oucomeher
e?
Her
:no,
Icameher
eyest
erdaybutIl
ocked.
.
Iopenedthedoorandmyheartstoppedbeati
ng
asmyey eslandedonthem,
theheadacheeven
gotworseasIgotinsi
de.
.
SAM
.
Shel
ookedastonishedbutt
her
ewas
somet
hingaboutherthatmademetocaref
ull
y
l
ookather,
shelookedli
keshewasi
npain.
Me:
hey
..
Shesti
ll
keptquit
e,Il
ookedatdadt
henmom
whowast ry
ingsohardtodi
ff
useheranger
.
Alexj
ustsatther
ecry
ing.
.
Mom:wherear
eyoucomi
ngfr
om Kr
is?
ist
his
t
hereasonwesenty
ouher
ehuh?
Shej
ustkeptqui
te.
.
Mom:keng?
youcan'tt
alk?Ot
swakae?
(wher
e
ar
eyoucomi ngf
rom?)
Dad:
Tlhogi
cal
m down.
.
Mom:cal
m down?I'
m notcal
mingdown,
wher
e
wasshe?al
lni
ght
?
Kr
is:
Isl
eptatf
ri
ends.
.
Shefinal
l
ysai
d..
herf
ri
endj
ustst
oodt
her
e
shocked.
Mom:afri
end?Dontyouhaveahouse?You
werewit
hthemanSam saidyouaredat
ing?
Thecri
minalonehuh?
Kr
is:
hewasshoty
est
erday
..
Mom:
good!
Ihopehe'
sdeadwher
everhei
s..
you
ar
eaki
dforheav
en'
ssake!
Thatseemedtohav
ehitdeepwit
hinKri
s
becausehert
ear
sstar
tedstr
eaming.
.
Mom:heshoul
dberunni
ngaft
erhi
sagemates
noty
ou..
whatdoy
ouwantfrom acr
imi
nal
?
Kr
is:
Ilov
ehi
m..
Mom l
aughed.
.
Mom:y
oulovehi
m?whatdoy
ouknowabout
l
ovewena?
Kr
isl
ookedatme,herey
eswer eful
lofresent
,
ev
enthoughshewascryingbutIcoul
dn't
mi
spl
acei
t.
.
Kr
is:
soy
ouhadhi
m shotr
ight
?
Me:
who?
Kr
is:
youanddad.
.
Me:
what
?
Kr
is:
dontactsur
pri
sed.
.Iknowwhaty
oudi
d..
Me:
Idontknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
..
Kr
is:
ohw.
.
Shechuckl
ed.
..
Dad:
asy
ourpar
ent
s,asy
ourf
atherKr
is.
.-
Shecuthi
m of
f.
.
Kri
s:myfather
?whatki
ndofaf
atherar
eyou
exactl
y??
Dad:
Kri
sti
n!
Kr
is:
yeah..
.It
houghtfami
l
ywassupposedt
obe
mypil
larofsupport
..
Dad:
pri
ncess.
.-
Kris:no..
Idon'thav eaf amilybecauset heyall
choset ohurtmei nthewor stmanner ,
not
every bodyherei ssaintlikeyoupr ofi
l
ey ourself
tobe. .j
ustbecausehewasorst i
llisacr i
minal
what 'stheproblem?Il ovehim, he'
smi neI '
mt he
onlyonewhoshoul dhav eapr oblem nott he
otherwayr ound...Whycan' tyouj ustletme
be,whyar en'tyoul ett
ingmebehappy ?Idont
hav eamot her,
fatherorbr other..Youdi edthe
momenty ouhur thim..Ihatey ou..
Bythent
ear
swer
eal
readyst
reami
ng,
shewas
hur
t..
.
Kr
is:
Idon'
twantt
oseey
ouev
eragai
n..
.
Dad:
soyouar
echoosi
ngat
hugov
ery
ourown
fami
l
y?
Kri
s:no,
I'
m choosingtheguyt
hatl
ovesme
uncondit
ional
ly
,theguywhowaspr epar
edt
o
di
ef orusoverfamily
...Af
amil
yIdoubti
seven
myf amil
y..
Dad:
Kri
s!
Shewalkedt
ooneoft
heroomsthencame
backaft
erawhi
l
eweari
ngajacketheadi
ngt
o
thedoor
.
Dad:
themomenty
ouwal
koutt
hatdoorKr
is.
.-
Kr
is:
I'
m nol
ongery
ourchi
l
d?t
hensobei
t!
Shesai
dbeforeshecompl
etel
ylef
tleav
ingus
wit
hherfr
iend.
Her
:ummhl
etmeummh.
.y
eah.
.
Mom:
youar
eLeahr
ight
?
Mom askedbuthervoi
cef ai
nt,
Ilookedather
andhereyesweresored.Ididn'tevenknow
howIfel
tthatmoment,itall
feltli
keamov i
e
andIwanteditt
oendalready.
Her
:yesMa'
am
Shenoddedast
ear
sset
tl
edi
nherey
es
Mom:
didIj
ustl
osemydaught
er?
IneverthoughtIwoul
dseethedayshewoul
d
actual
lycryinfr
ontofme,
Il
ookedatTayl
orwho
wasnowsi
tt
ingdownbesi
desmom.
.
Leah:
l
etmego.
.ummhcheckonher
..
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgowi
thy
ou.
.
.
KRI
S
.
ThemomentIgotof ftheelevatorheadi ngt o
thecarIcoul dfeel l
iketheheadachewast aki
ng
overme, buttheedget ovomi twasf armuch
mor ewor se,Il
eti toutthereuntilIcouldf eela
burningsensationonmyt hroat
.Af terIwas
doneIdi dn'twaitthatlongIwal kedt omycar
asmyv ersionblurredandt hethrobbing
headacheconspi red.ThemomentIgoti nthe
carIstartedfeelinglightheadedt hatIleaned
myheadont heseat .ThemomentIcl osedmy
eyesev eryt
hingjustwentbl ack.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued
.
IknowI '
mtheworstpersonev er,
I
'mreallysor
ry.
ThisweekIwasbusywi thexams, I
'm sorr
yI
didn'
tinf
ormy ouguys.
..
Ir eall
yam..
Iwi l
lpost
anotheri
nser
tlat
ertoday..Iloveyouso
much
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t34
KRI
S
.
.
Icouldfeel mysel
fraini
ngback, f
asteven.Ifel
t
moreandmor eal
iveunti
l Iopenmyey es.By
thelookoft heenvi
ronmentIcoul dtellIwasin
hospital
.Iletmyey esrunar ounduntil
Isaw
mom seat edonsomechai r
,shewassleeping.
Forthefir
stt i
meev erIdidn'tappr
eciateher
pr
esence.Shef
inal
l
yopenedherey
esandshe
l
ookedatme.
Her
:ohwThankGodbaby
..
.
Shewentoutscr
eamingnurse.
.af
terawhileshe
camebackwithsomeguyinawhi tecoatandI
beli
evedhewasthedoct
orbutshealsocane
backwithAl
exandLeah.
..
Sam andDadwer en'
t
ther
e..
.
Al
ex:
thankGod,
youok.
..
Shesai
dembr
aci
ngme,
Ismi
l
edsl
i
ght
lyather
.
Me:
I'
m ok.
.
Mom:ummhbabythi
sist
hedoct
or,
Dr
Ter
ence.
.ummhwhat
'swr
ongwit
hher?
Hi
m:bef
orewegettothat
,ummhKr
ist
in,
please
t
ell
mewhathappened?
Me:
j
ustat
hrobbingheadacheandthel
astt
hing
i
scl
osi
ngmyey esthenthat
sall
..
Hi
m:t
hat
sal
l
?
Me:
ummhandv
omi
ti
ngt
oo.
.
Hesoftlynoddedbutmyhear twasbowbeating
hardagainstmychest.
..am Ipr
egnant
?Ican'
t
be,ImeanItooktheinj
ecti
onandIalwaystook
themorningafterpi
l
l.
..
Mom gl
ancedatmebef or
elooki
ngbackatt
he
doct
or.
..Fearal
readyhadmet r
embli
ng.
Hi
m:wel
lwet
ooksomet
estony
ou.
.
Mom:
i
sshepr
egnant
?
Hi
m:no,
she'
snot
..
Myi
nnersel
ftookabackf
li
pfr
om r
eli
ef.
Mom:
thenwhati
sit
?
Hi
m:doy
ousomet
imesf
eel
dizzyKr
ist
in?
Me:
Idontr
ememberev
erf
eel
i
ngdi
zzy
..
Him:doyousometi
messuf
ferf
rom l
i
ghtor
soundsensi
ti
vi
ty?
Me:
l
ighti
nthemor
ning.
.It
snor
mal
right
?
Him:yes,
buti
nyoursi
tuat
ionno.
.doy
ouhav
e
headachesfr
equent
ly?
Me:
yeah
Henodded.
.
Mom:
whati
swr
ongwi
thher
?
Him:y
ouhavesympt
omsofami grai
ne,andi
ts
suchamir
aclewehavecaughti
tsoon
Mom:
ami
grai
ne?
Hi
m:y
es,usual
l
yit
sbecauseofov
erwor
kingt
he
mi
nd,
toomuchstress.
..
Al
ex:andamigrai
necanl
eadt
obr
aint
umoror
br
aincancerr
ight
?
Him:yessmartgi
rl
..
.i
tcanthat
swhythe
migrai
neneedstobet r
eat
edsoonerbef
orei
t
getsoutofhand.
Mom:
wil
lshebeok?
Him:
ifshedoesn'tov
erworkt
hemind,
shewi
ll
befi
ne..
.buti
fthesymptomsget
sworse,
Iwoul
d
adv
icet
haty
oucomebackf
oracheckup.
.
Me:
andwhatar
ethechancesofi
tget
ti
ng
wor
se?
Hi
m:i
tdepends,wearegoingtokeepy
ouher
e
t
oday
..
.Justforobser
vat
ion..
Mom:
ok
Hethenwalkedputl
eav
ingmewi
thmom,
Leah
andAlex.
Mom:
Kri
si-
Me:
mom pl
ease!CanIbr
eat
h?
Mom:
Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouspace.
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngout
..
Leah:
man,
Ithoughty
ouwer
epr
egnant
..
Al
ex:
l
olmet
oo
Me:
whof
oundmei
nthecar
?
Leah:
i
twasmeandy
ourbr
other
..
Me:
DidQment
ionanychangeonBandi
l
e?
Leah:
yeah,
hi
scousi
ndonat
edbl
oodt
ohi
m..
.
Me:
that
sgr
eat
..
Leah:
andhe'
sgoi
ngt
obefine.
.t
hebul
l
etdi
dn'
t
domuchdamagetohi
m..
Me:
thankheav
ens!
Leah:
yeah.
.
Al
ex:
sonowwhat
'snext
?
Me:Idontknow. .He'
sli
fei
samessbecauseof
me..andI'
mt r
yingtoholdonv
eryt
ightbutI
'
m
scared.
.whati
fheagr ees.
.
Alex:
thefactthatyouhaveheldonti
llnow
meanssomet hi
ng,Iknowwhateverybodymust
besay i
ng..Thatpossi
blyt
hisisal
lyourfaul
t
becausey ourdadistheonebutyouguy s
probablyknewt hi
swasgoingtohappensowhy
throwthet owelnow?whygiveupifyouguys
knewt hi
swoul dhappen?
Me:
ok,whoar
eyouandwhatdi
dyoudowi
th
Al
exandr
a?
Alex:
Ihaveonl yreali
zedthatmay beNdi l
eisthe
one,
andhemakesy ouhappy,andy oul ovehim
anddoIwon' tletany onedestroythat ,
destr
oy
yourhappiness..
andy outol
dme, he'shonest
andhet ol
dy oual labouttheil
l
egal shithe
does..
.soprobablyheknewandt her easonwhy
hestockedar oundandwai t
edf orthismoment
i
sbecausehel ovesy ou..
"AndIagr
ee,maybeInev
ersawi
tbefor
ebut
nowIdo"av oi
cesai
dmakingusal
ltur
nandit
wasTshepie.
.
Me:
ohGod,
hey
Hi
m:hey
..
Hecameov
erandhuggedmet
ight
ly.
.
Hi
m:Igotsoscar
edwhenIhear
d..
Me:
I'
m ok.
.
Him:
andIagr
eewithAlex,
i
fhewantedtol
eave
hewoul
dhavelonglef
tbecauseheknewhe'
sa
cr
imi
nal
..
IlookedatAl
exbecauseIdontr
emember
tell
i
nghimthat.
.
Al
ex:
I.
..
-
Tshepi
e:dontbl
ameher
,youshoul
dhav
etol
d
me
Me:soyogi
veyoumor
ereasont
othi
nkheai
n'
t
goodforme.
.
Tshepi
e:no,
butt
osuppor
tyoubecausey
ou
l
ovehim
Me:tel
lthattodadandSam..
Iloathethem r
ight
now,Ihatethem somuchandiftheydon'
t
stop..
Idon'
tknowwhatIwill
dobuti twon'
tbe
ni
ce..
Tshepi
e:y
oushoul
dn'
tst
ressy
our
sel
fthat
much..
.
Leah:
I'
m abadf
ri
endai
n'
ti
?
Me:
no.
..
youar
ethebest
..
Tshepi
e:secondbest
..
Il
aughed.
.
Al
ex:
ummhKr
isIshoul
dtel
lyout
his.
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Al
ex:dad.
.ummhhewant
stot
ransf
ery
out
o
Har
vard.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ok,
that
snotf
unny
..
Al
ex:
I'
m ser
ious.
.Ev
enmom agr
eed.
.
Me:
when?
Al
ex:
yest
erday
..
.
Me:
theycan'
tfor
ceme.
.no.
.
Ev
ery
thi
ngwasj
ustspi
ral
i
ngoutofcont
rol
.
.
.
SAM
.
Me:
no.
..
wai
twhat
?
Her
:Idon'
tknowwhereshei
s,
andI
'
m scar
edt
o
r
eporthermissi
ng.
.
Me:
whathappened?
Her:
NickhadthisplantogetBandil
eandKri
st o
br
eakup,thentheplanfai
ledbecauseBandi
le
managedt oi
nterv
ene..Andheknewi twas
Ni
ckybutnowshesgonemi ssi
ng.
.
Shewasnowcr
ying.
.
Me:
whatwasy
ourpl
an?
Her
:Rape.
.
Me:
huh?
Her
:wehadsetKr
ist
ogetr
appedso.
.-
Me:
rewi
nd.
..Yousai
dyouhadsetherupt
obe
r
apped?
Her
:Ni
cky
..
.Ni
ckysetherup.
.
Me:Ithi
nkI
'm nothear
ingyouwel
l
..y
ousetmy
si
stersoshegetsrapped?
Her
:i
twasNi
cky
..
shesai
ditwast
heonl
yway
Kri
sandBandilewouldbreakup..
Itol
dherit
wasabadi deabutshetoldmeot her
wise.
.and
now..
Idontknowwher esheis.
.t
heonlythi
ngI
havei
sherphone..
Me:yoursi
steri
ssodead,youbett
erpr
ay
Bandil
ekeepsherwherev
ersheis.
.
Becausei
fIf
indher
..
.
Her:
youputheri
ntot
his.
.shehadmovedon
wit
hherli
feandyoudi
dthis..
it
syourf
aul
t.
.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsaypl
otar
apecaseonmysi
ster
..
Her:
sosupposedl
ywhatwasy ourpl
an?t
hatshe
j
ustwalksandbelike"l
et'
sgetbacktogether
andit
shappycouple"?Possi
blyyoudontknow
howmuchBandi l
elovesyoursist
er,
hekil
l
sf or
her
..
pleasef
indher
Me:ohIwi
ll
,andI'
m goi
ngt
oki
l
lhert
hemoment
Isetmyhandsinher.
.
Isai
dbef
orewal
ki
ngout
,myphoner
ang,
i
twas
Mike.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:and?
managedt
ogethert
obr
eakupwi
th
hi
m?
Me:
shechosehi
m..
Hi
m:ahh,
Itol
dyou.
.shewoul
dchoosehi
m..
Me:
dadwantt
otr
ansf
erhert
oHar
var
d..
Hi
m:shesgoi
ngt
ohat
eyouf
orgood.
.
Me:
shewi
l
lgetov
eri
t.
.
Him:r
eally
?Stoplyi
ngtoy our
self
..Andwhati
s
yourprobl
em?Ithoughtyougotov ert
hest
upi
d
beefyouhavewithhim?bruhgrowup!
Me:
he'
snotgoodf
orher
..
Hi
m: andwhoi s?
andyounotsainteit
her
way..
y ouar
e..
nowaityoualr
eadylostyour
si
ster!Wakeupandsmel l
thecoffee.
.
Me:
Mike.
.
Him:Bandi
l
ekidnappi
ngyoursi
steri
twas
becauseofyou,
youandBandil
ehati
ngeach
otheritwasbecauseofy ou.
..
nowyourfami l
y
l
osingy oursist
erit
sstil
lbecauseofyou..Stop
l
abelinghim bad,i
tsal
lbecauseofyou..
ify ou
di
dn'tsleepwi t
hNicol
et henBandi
lewoul dn'
tbe
hati
ngy ourightnow..
Me:
i
twasami
stake
Him:
mi stake?
youf uckedNicol
eeveryti
mey ou
gott
hechance. .
letthepoorguybe..
ifpossi
ble
hewant edtohurtyoursist
erhewouldhav e
donethatlongti
meago. .Ihopehekil
lsyou!
Hethenhungup.Itookadeepbr eathasIgoti
n
mycarthendr ovet
ot hehospit
al.ThemomentI
gotther
e,IsawDadandLi zzystandingnear
Kri
s'
sdoor .Thi
ngslookedtense.
.
Iwal
kedov
ert
othem.
.
Me:
Tay
lor
,El
i
zabet
h..
Isaidbef
oreget
ti
ngi
nsideKri
s'
sroom.Shewas
sleepi
ngandmom wasseatedonachai
rnext
tothebed,
herey
eswereswoll
enli
keshehad
beencr
ying.
.
Mom:
shehat
esme
Me:
shewi
l
lgetov
eri
t.
.
Mom:shewon'
t,
youknowy
oursi
sterbet
tert
han
any
one..
It
ookadeepbr
eat
hasIhel
dherhand.
.
Me:
notsol
ongagoshewasababy
..
Mom:yeah.
.i
tsf
unnyhowt
imefli
es.
.nowshes
herownwomanandcanstandupforher
sel
f.
.I
dontwantt
oloseher
..
.
Me:
youwon'
t.
.dontwor
ry
Mom:
Iwantt
oseet
hishercr
imi
nal
boy
fri
end.
.
Me:
ok,
whatdi
dthedoct
orsay
?
Mom:shehasami gr
aineduet
oover
wor
king
herBr
ain.
..
Ifeel
li
keI
'm ki
ll
i
ngmyownchi
ld.
.
Me:dontdot
hatpl
ease.
.don'
tdot
hist
o
yoursel
f.
.
Mom:shesmychil
dSamuel,
andshehat
es
me.
.Icanseei
tinherey
es.
.
Idi
dn'tknowwhatt
osayanymor
e..Ij
ust
neededsomethi
ngtocl
earmymindwith.
.
Me:I
'
m goi
ngsomewhere.
.Iwil
lcomepi
cky
ou
upatKr
is'
shouset
othehotel
.
.
Shej
ustnodded.
..
Iwal
kedoutandnowTay
lorwasal
one.
..
Me:
Iwi
l
lpi
ckupmom l
ater
..
Hi
m:no,
dontwor
ry.
.Iwi
l
l.
.
Me:
ok,
seey
ou
It
henwalkedawaycal
l
ingher
.sheanswer
ed
af
terawhil
e..
Me:
wher
ear
eyou?
Her
:t
hehot
elTay
lorbookedf
orus.
.
Me:ok,
I
'm comi
ng.
.Iwil
ltel
lyouwhi
chr
oom I
am assoonasIgett
here..
Her
:ok.
.
IhungupasIgott ot hecar.Immedi at
elyI
drovetothehot elandassoonasIgott hereI
texthermyr oom number .Afewmi nuteslaterI
heardasof tknockf oll
owedbyt hedoor
opening.Sheemer gedl ookingbeautif
ulas
ever,
herblackhairset t
ledonhershoul ders.I
stoodupandwal kedupt oher .
.
Her:
wehavetostopt
his.
..
Tay
loral
ready
suspect
ssomethi
ng.
.
Me:
doy
ouev
enl
ovehi
m?
Her
:doyoul
oveme?
thi
sisaboutsexandwe
bot
hknowit
..
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.
.Il
ovey
ouEl
i
zabet
hRuf
fl
es.
..
Her
:Macv
erdana.
..El
i
zabet
hMacv
erdana.
.
Me:
stopdecei
vi
ngy
our
sel
fbabe.
.
Her
:Thi
siswr
ong.
..
Igotmuchcl
osert
oherandgr
abbedherwai
st
pul
l
ingherclosert
ome,
herbr
eat
hinghi
tchi
ng
i
ntheprocess..
Me:
thenwhydoesi
tfeel
right
..
Isai
dal
readyki
ssingherneck,
pull
i
nghermuch
cl
osert
omesot hatshesagainstmysti
ffcock.
Shemournedabitwhil
egrabbingmyhead..
Her
:Samuel
..Pl
ease.
.pl
easest
op.
.
Iopenedherdresszipl
ett
ingt
hedr
esssl
ide
downherperfectbodyandnowshewasonl
yin
herLacypant
iesandbra.
Me:
youar
ebeaut
if
ul.
.i
nev
erywayEl
i
zabet
h..
.
Her
:Samuel
..
.
Iuncli
ppedherbra,
thensli
deitdownwi t
hmy
otherhandalr
eadytwist
inghernippl
es.She
threwherheadbackmour ningsoft
ly.
.
Me:st
opov ert
hinkingthi
sbabe.
..
Iknowy
ou
wantthi
s..
don'
tfightit
..
Isl
i
dherpant
iesdownwi
thmyheadal
ready
goingdownonher ,
shewasal readypanting
hardassheopenedherl egsabi tfurt
hersoI
caneasi l
yaccesshercli
t..Eli
zabethhasalways
beensomeoneIconsi der edbeautiful
,al
lmylif
e
Ihadt ofi
ghttheedgeofpl ungingonherunt i
l2
mont hsagoandherr eactionprovedtomet hat
sheal sowantedthi
s.Ipickedherupandpl aced
ont hebedgetti
ngbetweenherl egs.
Her
:condom.
.
Me:shi
t!
butIt
houghty
ousai
dyoucan'
thav
e
ki
ds..
Her
:yesbut
..
-
Me:
I'
m cl
ean
Isaidalreadyunzippingmyzi p.
.shepushedmy
trousersdownt ogetherwithmyboxerbr ief
downwi t
hhertoes.Sl owlyIeasedintoher
foreverwarmthgr oaningandIwat chedher
shudderbeneathmecl osi
nghereyes.Aftera
whi l
eIwasmov ingfastinherasshel ockedher
l
egsar oundmywai stmeet i
ngmet hr
ustfor
thrust.IfanythingIhavenevermetany onewho
knowsherwayi nbed.
.Graceful
lywemov edi
n
thesamer hyt
hm until
wef oundourrelease
together .Icol
lapsedbesi
deshercat chingmy
breath..Af t
erawhi l
eshef i
nall
yspoke..
Her
:wer
eal
l
yhav
etost
op.
.
Me:
LizzyI
..
.-
BeforeIcoul
drespondmyphoner ang,
I
str
etcheduptoitbutIdi
dn'
trecogni
zethe
number .
Me:
hel
l
o?
Call
erI
D:enjoy
ingai
n'
twe?
pleasur
eisal
way
sa
goodwayt oendone'
sday
..
Me:
andwho'
sthi
s?
Cal
l
erI
D:sosady
ouhav
efor
get
ti
ngmeSam.
.
Irecogni
zedt
hev
oicebutIwasn'
tthatmuch
sure..
Me:
Qui
ncy
?
Call
erI
D:f
inal
l
y..
.any
wayhowar
eyou?
prepar
ing
forr
ound2?
Me:
whatt
hef
uckar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Q:ohwdontwor r
y..
hurtBandi
le,youhurtme..
I'
m
comingaft
ery ouinful
lfor
ce..Enjoyr
eachi
ng
cli
maxwhilstyousti
llcan.
.gr
eetTay l
or'
swif
e
forme..
ohw..ImeanLizzy.
.
Me:
fuck!
!shi
t!
.
KRI
S
.
ThefollowingdayIj ustl ayi nthehospital
bed,
thinkingaboutev erythingbut2t hingsI
knewf orsur e..
Iwasn' tgoi ngt oleaveBandi l
e
anddadshoul djustfor getaboutHar v
ar d.Itook
adeepbr eathbef oreget tinghol dofmyphone, I
wentthr oughourpi cs,andsomesi l
l
yv ideosI
al
way st ook...Tearsset t
ledi nmyey es,thereare
ti
meswher eIwi shedourhappi nesswoul djust
goon, andonf or
ever.
.Timeswher eIknowhe
hurtmebutIchoset oignorei tbecauseIdont
wantt ol osehim..
.ThedayIgav eupmy
i
nnocence, yesIwasr eadybutal soIdidn'twant
tolosehi m.Iwentt hroughourdayt oday
conv ersati
onsandj ustfoundmy selfsmil
ing.
Whycan' ttheysee?Whyi sithardforthem to
see...Moment sl
aterIfoundmy selfcry
ingbutI
wascr y i
ngi ndad'
sar ms.Icr i
edhar dbecause
he'
sbr eaki ngmyhear t.
.becausehe' snotbeing
thef at
herIwanthi mt obe. .
.Af t
erawhi l
eIwas
quite,hav i
ngmyaf tercryinghiccupsashehel d
met i
ght..
Dad:
I'
m sosor
rybaby
..
.Ir
eal
l
yam.
..
I'
m sor
ry
Hesaidashesoftl
yki
ssedmyhair
.Mybody
wasinvol
unt
aryshaki
ngwhi
leIhadhi
ccups.
Dad:Il
oveyou, andwhenIreali
zedy ouwer e
dati
ngacr i
mi nali
thurtme,Ikeptwondering
whyy oucouldn'tgofornor
mal guys.
..
butthenI
real
i
zedIhadbeensosel fi
sh,thatIdi
dn't
consi
dery ourfeeli
ngs..
.AndnowI '
m hurt
ing
youinthepr ocess..Iwantustohaveaclose
rel
ati
onship..ThatswhatIhavealwayswanted..
.
AndIdontwantt oloseyou..
.y
ouandAl exare
myonlyt r
easur e.
.I'
m sorr
ybaby..
.I
'
m soso
sorr
yprincess..
Me:All
..
all
..
all
Iwant
edwasyoutogivea
chance.
.that
sall
Iwant
ed.
.Justachance.
.
Hi
m:Igett
hatnow.
.I
'm sorr
y..
.Il
ovey ouso
much.
..
somuchok?andIwi l
lgivethecrimi
nal
t
hugachancebutonewr ongmov e,he'
sout.
.
Me:
that
sal
l
..t
hanky
ou
Ihel
dont ohim ashappi
nesssettl
edinmy
heart
,r
eli
efsweptoversmoothlyasIbreathed.
.
Whateverchangedhismindreall
yhel
pedme
becauseIdidn'
tknowwhattodoany mor e.
*
***
***
***
***
***
*
Dr
:she'
sgoodt
ogo.
.
Dad:
socant
hisbeguar
ant
eedt
obecont
rol
l
ed?
Dr:
notexact
lyt
hat'
swhyift
hesympt
oms
cont
inuecomeforacheckup.
.
Mom:
ok.
.
Il
ookedatSam i
ndisgustashestoodatthefar
cor
nerofther
oom butIcouldn'
tmispl
acethe
worr
ythatwaspl
asteredonhisface,
hewas
l
ockedupinhi
sownl i
ttl
ewor l
d.
Leahcameandhel
pedmedownf
rom t
hebed.
Mom:
thanky
ou,
mayGodbl
essy
ou.
.
Everybodyhadchangedt hei
ratt
it
udes,it
seemedl i
kemyout burstormebeingadmi tt
ed
tohav i
ngmigraineworkedbutwhateverit
,I
'
m
gratef
ulofit
.Wewal kedouttodad'sRange
roverbutbeforewecouldgetin,
Leah'sphone
rang.Sheexcusedherselfabitf
rom us.
.She
camebackaf t
erawhile.
.
Her
:ummhKr is,
Bandi
l
eisbr
eat
hingonhi
s
own..
theyhav
emov edhi
m..
Sam:
sosoon.
.
Me:
whatwer
eyouexpect
ing?Thathedi
es?
Sam:
no,
I
'm gl
adhe'
sout
..
Ichuckl
ed,
whendi
dSam t
urnt
obel
i
ket
his.
Me:
Iwantt
ogoseehi
m..
Mom:
ummhwewi
l
ldr
opy
ouof
f.
.
Me:
no,
i
tsokmma,
Leahwi
l
ldot
hehonour
s..
Iwentoverandkissedhercheekbef
orewal
ki
ng
wit
hLeaht ohercar.Themomentwegotin,
she
st
artedt
hecaranddr oveaway..
Her
:whoev
erchangedyourpar
ent
'
smi
nd,
needs
t
obegraceful
l
yawarded.
.
Me:
Iagr
ee.
.
Her
:IsawLi
zzy
..
Me:
Lizzy
?she'
sher
e
Her
:yeah.
.It
hinky
ouwi
l
lseeherl
ater
..
Me:y
eah.
..
ohI
'
m sogl
adhe'
sbr
eat
hingonhi
s
own.
.
Her:
yeah,t
hebul
letdi
dn'tdomuchharm,
plus
accordi
ngtoQ,i
t'
snotthefir
stt
imehe'
sgotten
shot.
.
Me:
Idontev
enwantt
ogobackt
othat
..
.
Her
:butnowt
hankGodhe'
sok.
.
Me:
yeah.
..
youandQ?
Her:
weget ti
ngtherebuthegotalotoff
ucked
upshitbaggagewithhim..
he'
shardto
communi catewit
hbecausehe'shard
headed..
.butwewor ki
ngonit
..
Me:
asl
ongasy
ouar
ehappyt
hen.
..
Shedroveustothepri
vat
ehospi
talwerehe
was.Getti
ngther
eItookadeepbreat
hbefore
soft
lyknocki
ngthenget
ti
nginwit
houtwait
ing
forr
esponse..
Ipeekedinfi
rstandtherehewas,awakebut
wit
hpi l
l
owssuppor ti
nghim.Hewaswi th
Sabri
na,Iv
ywasn'tin.Theywerejust2,andshe
hadahandi nhis,
eventhoughshe'sjusta
cousinbuti
ttwit
chedsomethingi
nmebutI
tookadeepbreathasthei
reyeswereonme
probabl
ywaiti
ngformynextmov e.
Fi
nal
l
yIopenedt
hedoorandgoti
n.Hesmi
l
ed
atmemaki
ngmef l
ushandtur
npi
nk.
Him:
ifi
tai
n'tMrsBandi
l
eThul
ani
,
myday
coul
dn'
tgetbet
ter
..
Ibl
ushedev
enmor
e..
Sabr
ina:
ther
easony
ouar
eher
e?
Ir
aisedmyey
est
oher
..
Ndi
le:t
her
easonwhyy
oushoul
dleav
e..
space
pl
ease!
Shechuckl
edbef
orewal
ki
ngoutcompl
etel
y.
Hi
m:It
hinkaki
sswoul
ddo.
.
Iwalkedt
ohimleani
nguntohim.
.hav
inga
ret
ardedasmil
eonmyf ace.
.
Hi
m:wegonnaj
ustst
and?
Igi
ggl
edasIl
etmyl
i
psmeethi
s,
hi
shand
pul
ledmyheadcl osertohi
m ashistounge
coaxedmineinar hyt
hmicpatt
ernmakingme
l
osemybr eat
heachsecond.Byt hetimebe
pul
ledoutIwasbr eat
hingheav
il
ytry
ingto
catchmybreath.
Hi
m:howhav
eyoubeen?
Me:
Iwaswor
ri
edabouty
ou.
..
Ilookedathi
shandandhewasst
il
lcuf
fedt
o
thebed.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
..
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry.
.
Him:hey.
.heydontcry.
.there'snothi
ngthat
breaksmemor ethany ourt earsbabe..
please
dontcry
..
Iloveyou,y
ouar emyl if
eli
neKrisand
youcryi
nghurtsme..pleasedon' tcrybabe..
Hesai
dwi
pingof
fmyt
ear
s..
Hi
m:dontwor
ry.
.I
'
m ont
opoft
hisok?
don'
t
wor
ry.
.
Inoddedr
epeat
edl
yasIf
eltchokedwi
tht
ear
s.
Befor
ehecouldsayanyt
hingelsethedoor
openedandmymom goti n.Myjawdroppedas
mymout hbecamedry,
Ihopethiswon'
tendbad.
.
.
ToBeCont
inued

[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t35
KRI
S
.
Bl
ooddrainedf
rom myfaceasmom gl
adl
y
wal
kedinsidet
heroom,herey
esfi
xedonhi
m.
Myheartwasli
ter
all
yinmymouth.
.Wonder
ing
what
'snext.
Me:
ummhMom.
.
Iner
vousl
ysai
dst
eal
i
ngagl
anceatBandi
l
e
whol
ookedrat
herrel
axedforsomeonewho'
s
f
aci
nghisgi
rl
fr
iend'
smother.
Her
:sohe'
stheone?
Iwasbreat
hinghard,
tr
yingsohar
dtof
acet
he
si
tuat
ionathand.
Me:
Mom pl
ease.
..
Mom:
huh?
Me:ummhMmat his.
..
ummht hi
sis.
.Bandi
l
e,
Bandi
leThulaniandBandil
ethisi
smy
mom...
.yes,
he'stheone.
Isaidwi t
hmyat t
ent
iononthefloorl
ikeitwoul
d
tal
k.Irubbedmyhandstogetherasthefear
surelyseethedi
n.
Ndil
e:i
tsni
cetof
inal
l
ymeety
ouMr
s
Thompson..
He'
stonewasf
il
ledwi
thr
espect
,nott
he
Bandi
l
eIknow.
Mom:
l
ikewi
se,
Iseey
ouar
etheonewhohas
mydaught
eract
ingl
i
keshe'
sont
opof
ev
ery
one..
Me:
mom pl
ease.
.
Mom:
what
?kennet
eaker
e(i
tst
het
rut
h)
Me:
Mamakeagokopa(
I'
m beggi
ngy
ou)
Mom:kesi
kakabot
say
anong(
soIshoul
dn'
t
ask?
)
Myey
esmi
stwi
tht
ear
s..
.
Ifel
thim squeezemyhand,
maki
ngmeglance
athim andhesmi l
edatmethe"
dontwor
ry"
smil
e.
Justt
henI
vygoti
n,
smi
l
ingasal
way
s..
I
vy:
ohwAndybabyI
..
-
Shegotst
oppedbymymot
herandI
.
I
vy:
ummhKr
isandKr
is'
smot
herIbel
i
eve.
.
Shesai
dst
il
lsmi
l
ing.
.
Me:
Mma.
.ummhMom t
hisi
sBandi
l
esmom
Mom:
ohw
I
vy:
i
tsapl
easur
emeet
ingy
ou
Mom:
same,
canwet
alk?
I
vy:
ofcause.
.
Theywal
kedputl
eav
ingmeandBandi
l
eal
one.
.
Ndi
l
e:babebr
eat
h..
Il
ookedathi
m,r
eal
i
zingIhadbeenhol
dingmy
br
eath.
Me:
Idontl
i
ket
hat
..
Hi
m:I
vywi
l
lhandl
eher
..
dontwor
ry.
.
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ouar
eok,
Iwassoscar
ed.
.
Him:If
igur
ed.
.ButI
'
m her
eandI
'
m notgoi
ng
anywhere.
.
Me:
met
oo.
..
Hi
m:Ilov
ey ouKr
is,
Ican'ti
maginemyli
fe
wi
thoutyouandIwon'tsurvi
ve.
.Pr
obabl
yIwil
l
ki
l
lsomeone,Ipr
omisey ou..
Iwoul
drat
herbe
deadt
hanwatchi
ngyouwi
thsomeoneel
se,
j
ust
soyouknow.
.Youar
emylif
eli
ne
Mybreathi
ngwasabutheav
yashepul
l
edme
muchclosert
ohi
m..
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
..
Hesof tlykissedmyl i
ps,
butthatkissturnedi
nto
av er
yemot ionalki
ss,
fi
ll
edwithelectri
cv i
be
thattravell
edi nmybody.Isurrenderedathis
touchedr iv
ingmecr azyeachmi nute,each
second. .BythetimehepulledoutIwas
breathless.
.
Hi
m:good,
becausey
ouar
emi
ne.
.
He'
sphonevibr
atedmakingmemov ebackabit
ashetooki
tannoyedbuthe'sfacesof
tenedas
hereadwhat
everhewasr eadi
ngonhisphone.
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Hi
m:ev
ery
thi
ngokbabe.
.Ev
ery
thi
ngi
sper
fect
.
Hesai
dsmil
i
ng,butIcoul
dsensethatt
here
wassomesi
nist
ershi
tbehi
ndthatsmil
e,he
coul
dn'
thi
dei
tthatmuch.
*
***
***
***
***
***
**
Isatonmybed,
recal
li
ngt
heday
,Ndi
l
e,Mom,
Dad
andever
ythi
ngel
se..
Ther easonbehi ndwhyt heychangedt hei
r
mindsst i
l
l haunt
edme. .
whatmadet hem think
again?Ihadspentt hewhol edaywi t
hNdilebut
Ididn'ttel
l hi
m aboutt hemi gr
aine,Idontwant
tostresshi m withi
rrelevantbull
.Ilaybackon
thebed, bothfeetont hebedasIf acedthe
whitecei l
ing.Mydoorswungopenandmom
gotin.Iclosedmyey est aki
ngadeepbr eath.
Herei tgoesagai n.
..
Mom:
Kri
s
Me:
mom
Shecameandsatbesi
desme.
Her:
I'
m nott
ryi
ngtorui
ny ourl
if
eorthatIdont
wanttoseeyouhappy.Iknowprobablyt
hat'
s
whatyouthi
nk,
butdoy oupossi
blyt
hinkthat
aft
er9mont hsofcar i
ngy outhenf ull19y ears
oftakingcar eofy ouIwoul dsetupami ssionto
destroyy ourli
fe.
.afterev eryt
hingthathappened
doy oupossi blythinkI'm outtoseey ou
unhappy ,toseey ouhur torcrying?Youmi ght
thi
nkI 'm notyourmot her,wecanal way sdoa
DNAt estbutKr i
sIknowy ouar emydaught er
,I
gavebi rt
ht oyou,tookcar eofy oubecauseI
l
ovey ousomuch, sohowcanIpossi blybeout
onami ssiontomakey ourlif
eal ivi
nghel l?aft
er
workinghar dfor19y earst oalwaysmakesur e
youar esmi li
ng..
.
Shehel
dmyhandwhi
l
eherot
herhandwi
ped
mytear
saway
..
Her:
Ineverwantt oseey oucryi
ng,butal
lIwant
i
swhat '
sbestf oryou..
.All
Iwantistoseey ou
happyandf orthepastmont hsIhavebeen
feel
i
nglikeinlosingmydaught er,
myKr i
s..
I
dontknowwhatt omorrowmi ghtbri
ngbutIlov
e
youbaby..
.Ilov
ey ousomuchandev eni
fIdont
know whatwi l
l happentomorrowbutIwant
youtobehappy .
.May beImi ghtnotbeher eto
seey ouendur ethehappi nessyouhav eev er
wantedbutIwoul dbehappyt oseey ou
happy ..
I'
mj ustLi keanyot hermother,who
wantsnot hingbutwhat 'sgoodorwantt hebest
forherdaught er..Bandi
leis..
wellnottheguyI
hadinmymi nd, t
heguyIhav eeverimagined
youtoendupwi th..
he'
snotbuti fhemakesy ou
happyI 'm goingt otakeast epback...
I'
m going
tolety oube...allbecauseIloveyou,andt her
e's
nothingmor et hatIwantt hanseeingyouhappy
baby..Iloveyou. .
Shesai
dki
ssingmyhand.
.Tear
swer
eal
ready
bl
urr
ingmyversi
on.
.
Shehuggedmet
ight
lybef
orel
ett
ingmego.
Me:
youar
esl
eepi
ngwi
thme
Her
:yes.
.
Thefol
lowingdayIwokeupabitearl
ybutIwas
al
oneinbedt hough,
Ihadtogotoschool
especi
all
ybecausemyf ami
lywashere,
I
couldn'
taff
ordtomissschool
.Iwokeupand
di
dmynor malandusualr
outi
ne.Af
ter
prepari
ngIwenttotheki
tchenandLeahand
Mom wer ether
e,whi
lemom wascookingand
Leahwaseat i
ng..
Leah:
Kri
s..
Mom:morni
ngbaby
..
.whendoesy
ourf
ir
st
l
essonst
art
?
Me:
9
Mom:
ok,
yest
erdaydi
dyouseey
ourbr
other
?
Me:
no
Mom:
ok.
.l
etmedi
shf
ory
ou
Me:I
'
mr ushi
ng,
Iwantt
opi
ckupt
hisf
ri
endof
mi
ne..
Mom:youwill
eatont
heway,Imadeyour
f
avour
ite.
.Youusedt
olov
ethisonweekends.
Me:
ok,
youcandi
sh.
.
Isatont
heki
tchenst
ool
asshedi
shed.
.Tal
k
aboutemot
ional
blackmai
l
.
Leah:ummhKr
is,
Qjustsentat
extandi
t'
sfor
you.
.
Shegav
emeherphonesoIr
eadt
het
ext
.
"Heybabe,
pleasetel
lKri
sthatBandil
esai dshe
shouldpi
ckupsomecl othesforhim athis
houseandcomewi t
htheMer cedesaftershe'
s
fi
nishedwi
thherlectur
esfortheday"
Igav
ebackt
hephonet
oLeah.
.
Me:t
hismeansIwi
l
lhav
etol
eav
emycar
behi
nd..
Leah:
yeah,
Iwi
l
lgi
vey
oual
i
ft.
.
Me:
yeah,
Iwi
l
lseeAv
eatschool
Leah:
yeah.
.i
ssheandMJdat
ing?
Me:
theyar
e..
.andIhopet
heyl
ast
..
Leah:
Sher
emov
edt
hepur
plet
hingy
..
Me:
ohw..
thoughIdi
dn'tseeany
thi
ngwr
ong
wi
thherpurpl
ehai
rpiece..
.
Leah:
Idi
dobv
iousl
y.
.
Mom gavemebr eakfastwhi
l
eIwasgiv
ingLeah
t
helook,
Iser
iouslydontknowLeah'
spr
oblem
wi
thAve.
Me:
thanksmom.
.
Iat
ethebreakf
ast,
aftert
hebr
eakf
astIt
ookmy
bagandheadedforthedoorwi
thLeah.
Me:
byeMma.
.
Mom:
bye,
Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e
Shekissedmycheekbef
orelet
ti
ngmego.The
momentweopenedt hedoordadwasst
andi
ng
ther
e.
Dad:
gir
ls!
Leah:
Goodmor
ningMrMacv
erdana.
.
Dad:
goodmor
ningLeah,
Kri
s
Me:
mor
ning
Dad:
Igotpi
l
lsf
ort
hemi
grai
ne
Hesai
dgi
vi
ngmet
hepi
l
ls.
.
Me:
thanky
ou
Dad:
ok
Wet
henwal
kedoutandwentf
ort
heel
evat
or.
Leah:
didy
out
ell
Bandi
l
eaboutt
hemi
grai
ne?
Me:
I.
.noty
etbutIwi
l
l
Leah:
youshoul
dhav
etol
dhi
m Kr
is.
.
Me:
i
tsj
ustami
grai
ne,
not
hingser
ious.
.
Leah:not
hingser
ious?Thi
smi
grai
necanl
ead
to.
.-
Me:
Isai
dIwi
l
ltel
lhi
m!
Isnapped,andimmedi
atel
yaf
tert
hatIcoul
d
feelr
egretbui
ldi
ngup.
.
Me:I
'm sorr
y..
Ijust.
.hehasal
ott
odeal
with
ri
ghtnow,Idontwantt oaddmor
etowhathe'
s
al
readyfaci
ng..I'
m sorr
y
Leah:
Iunder
stand,
I'
m sor
ryt
oo.
.
Me:no,
youar
ejustdoi
ngwhataf
ri
endwoul
d
do.
.
Shesmiledaswegoti
nhercar.Arr
ivi
ngat
school
If oundAv
est
andi
ngwer esheusual
l
y
wait
sformebutshewasalone.
Aswegott
her
eLeahwentherownwayl
eav
ing
mewit
hAve.
Me:
hey
Av
e:Kr
is,
hey
Shehuggedme.
.
Me:
youl
ookl
ovel
y.
.
Her
:sodoy
ou.
.
Iwaswear i
ngablackski
njean,
blackt
opwith
Bandil
esjacketwhi
chwassobi gwhil
eheron
theotherhandwasinamidthighbodyhuggi
ng
dresswhichhasabareback,
herafromadeher
l
ookext r
ahot.
Me:
me?
please,
any
waywhat
'
stheoccasi
on?
Av
e:can'
tagi
rll
ookgood?
Me:
ohw.
.
Welaughedaswewentf orourlessons.
I
mmedi at
elyaf
terallt
helessonsIwalkedout
wi
thAvesoshehel psmef indtr
ansportwhi
ch
t
akesmet oBandil
e'shood.
Me:
I'
m sogl
adweonl
yhad2l
essons.
.
Ave:
yeaht
ellmeabouti
t.
.Icoul
dn'
tgethol
dof
youonweekend.
.
Me:
l
otofstuf
f,
act
ivi
tywast
aki
ngpl
ace.
.my
f
amil
yisar
ound.
Av
e:why
?whathappened?
Me:
youdon'
twantt
oknow.
.
Av
e:Idon'
twantt
obey
our
ightnow
Me:
yeah.
.
Aveescor
tedmetil
ltot
hepl acethatIfi
nd
tr
anspor
t.
.Shel
eftmealreadyinsidethetax
i.
Bandil
eshousewasabi tofadi st
ancefrom
school
.ThemomentIar r
ivedIgotint
ohis
housewithoutevenknocki
ng.Getti
nginsidethe
si
tti
ngroom IfoundSabri
naalreadystanding
up..
Me:
Sabr
ina.
.
Her
:whol
ety
oui
n?
Me:
Il
etmy
sel
fin.
.
Her
:whatdoy
ouwant
?
Me:
Icameher
eforsomeofBandi
l
escl
othes.
Her:
welldon'
twor
ry,
hi
scl
otheshav
eal
ready
beentaken.
.
Me:
ohw,
ok.
.
Iwalkedupst ai
rstohi
sr oom.Talkingto
Sabri
nawasj ustawasteofti
meandener gy.I
dontknowbutaccor dingtomet hisgirlhasa
ser
iouscr ushonBandileandthef actshe
makesi tsov i
sibl
emakesmewantt ojustlung
ather.IgotinBandil
esroom thenwentt ohis
closerandt ookouthisbr ownchi no,whiteT-
shirtandhismi l
it
aryjacketandsomesneaker s.
Iplacedthem inanov er
nightbagIsawi nhis
room.Af terpacki
ngt hatIwentt ohisdr awer
s
thent ooktheMer cedescarkey s.Wi thsomuch
conf i
denceIwentdownst air
sandSabr i
nawas
onherphonebutshedi dn'tseeme, shehadher
backagai nstme.
Her :
hewon' tli
stentome. .hesay s..
he..
GodKat!
Listen.
.hewon' tbeli
evemeok. .
hewon't
becausehe' sisn'tstupid.
..Idontknowbuthe
saidhewi ll
ki l
lme. .
he'sprettyseri
ous..Idont
knowi fHapi shi sornotok. .IdontknowbutI
thinksheshi s.
..Idontknow, butifHapishis
childhe'sgoingt o..
-
Sheturnedinf
rust
rati
onseati
ngont hecouch,
thenoureyesmet.Hemout hdroppedopenas
shewidenedhereyes.Qui
cklyshewipedthe
tear
sthatwereonherface.
Her
:Icanexpl
ain.
.It
snotwhaty
out
hink.
.i
twas
ami stakeKr i
s,Idontevenknowhowi t
happenedbutInev ermearbttofal
lpregnant
..
Please..I
'm beggingy oudont.
.Bandi
lewill
kil
l
me. .
.I
'm notsur eifit
shisdaughteror
not..
.please
Shecont i
nuedbl abbingt hi
ngsbutitallwent
sil
enttome, Daught er
..Bandil
esdaught er?My
heartbeatfast,fasterthantheusual,daught er
?
Ibackedawayf rom herwhi l
eshecont i
nued
cryi
ngandt alkingnonst op..
.Foramoment
thereItol
dmy selfShe'splayi
ngme, She's
pranki
ngmebecauseshedoesn' tl
ikeme, that
shejustwant smeandAndi l
etobreakupbut
themor eshecr ieducoul dtel
lthi
swasnoj oke.
Her:
Kri
s,
pleaseI'
m beggi
ngy
ou,
pleasedon'
ttel
l
hi
m...
hewill
..
.y
ouknowhowheis..
Iwalkedt
othedoortoBandi
le'
scar
,Iheldmy
tear
sback..
thi
swasn'
ttr
ue,i
tcoul
dn'tbe..
Idrov
eout
sidet
hegatest
rai
ghtt
othehospi
tal
.
All
Iwant
edwasf orhi
mtotel
lmethi
sisnot
t
rue,
thatsall
andever
ythi
ngwouldbeok.Wit
h
myheartbeati
ngf
astIdrovet
othehospi
tal
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Q:
so?
Me:wegothim exact
lywher
ehe'ssupposedt
o
be.
.Ther
e'snoescapeplanforhi
m
Q:
yeahbutwhataboutTay
lor
?
Me:Sam wi
ll
sor
tthatout
,he'
snol
ongera
pr
oblem..
Q:
great
,atl
eastnowy
oucanbr
eat
h..
Me:
yeah.
.
Q:
hav
eyouhear
dfr
om Kansas?
Me:yeah,
ever
ythi
ngi
sgoi
ngwel
l
,act
ual
l
yNi
col
e
br
ingsalotofmoney
..
Q:
youar
egoi
ngt
ohel
l
..Godwon'
tev
enwantt
o
l
istentoyourexcusesnott
haty
ouhav
e
excuses.
.
Me:Ido,
shewasmessingwit
hmyheart
..Ifyou
wanttoseeIcaneasi
l
ykil
lyougof
orKris.
.
Q:what
ever
,lookl
etmegetgoing.
.Leahsai
d
Kri
smustbeonherway,
I'
m gladyounolonger
goingt
ojai
l.
.
Me:
yeah.
.Iwi
l
lhi
tyouupl
ater
..
Befor
eQcouldwalkoutt
hedooropenedand
Kri
sgotin,
herey
esweresor
ednodoubtshe
wascryi
ngbutwhatgotmewasthewayshe
waslooki
ngatme.Qimmediat
elyl
eft
.
Me:
babe.
.
Her:
didyouordi
dyounotev
ersl
eepwi
th
Sabr
ina
Me:
what
?
Her
:di
dyouf
uckenev
erf
uckedSabr
ina?
Shehi
ssedget
ti
ngf
uri
ous,
readyt
oki
l
l.
.
Me:
babe.
.-
Her:
dontopeny
ourmout
htol
i
etomeBandi
l
e
Thul
ani
Me:
shi
t!
Icanexpl
ainbabe.
.
Her
:ohwy
oucan?
goahead.
.
Me:Iwasdrunk,Iswear
..
andIdontev
enknow
howithappened..
Iwasouti
fit
..
Me:soal
lalongyou.
..
youguysactl
i
keyouar
e
famil
ybutdeepdowny ouknowyouar
efuck
buddi
es?
Me:ithappenedonl
yonce,
Iswear
,onl
y
once..
babeitwasamistakeandi
twasway
beforeyou..
Sheputt
hebagshewascar
ryi
ngdownasshe
sl
idei
nthef
loorwi
tht
ear
sgushingout
.
Her
:di
d..
.di
dSabr
inat
ell
youshewaspr
egnant
?
Me:
yeah.
.shedi
dbut
..
I.
.
Her
:youwhat
?youmi
ghthav
eachi
l
doutt
her
e..
Me:i
tsnotmine,
I'
m sur
e..
theki
di snot
mine.
.wewil
ldoaDNAi ft
hatsi
t,pleasedont
l
eaveme..Il
oveyou.
.
Iwasnowi nthef
loorwit
hher,Ihavenoteveri
n
myl i
fef
eltasweakasIfeltt
hatmoment ,the
factt
hatshecandothistomewi thouteven
try
ingmakesmesoweak.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.
.
.
KRI
S
.
Hekissedmyt earsthenmyl ipssl
owl y,
then
wentdownt omyli
ps,kissedthecornerofmy
l
ipsbeforehisli
psf i
nall
yfoundmine.Heowned
myli
ps, ki
ssedmehar derthatIcoul
df eelmy
l
ipsgoingnumb.Fi nall
yhepul l
edoutleaving
mebr eathl
ess.
Him:Iknowwhatyoupr
obabl
ythi
nkbutt
hat
chi
ldain'
tmi
ne..
.y
esIdi
dsleepwi
thmycousi
n
butIdoregr
eti
t.
.t
here'
snodaywher
ebyIj
ust
wokeupandwasl i
keIwoul
dsleepwi
thmy
cousi
n..
Inoddedobv i
ouslytr
y i
ngtobeli
evehim,Ihad
to.
.Ineededtoobutmyhear twasswel li
ngup
eachsecond,wonderingwhat'sgoi
ngt ohappen
i
fshe'sreall
yhischil
d..
.Whatwi l
lhappen?YesI
knewt hatBandil
ehasal otofbaggagewi t
hhim
butachi l
disjustahardli
mit,
somethingIwon't
beablet odealwit
h..
JustwhenIt
houghtev
ery
thi
ngwasgoi
ngwel
l
.
.
SAM
.
Mi
ke:
nowTay
lori
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lyou.
.
Me:
Iknow,
webr
okeup.
.
Mike:
whycan'
tyoufi
ndy ourownprey
?whydo
youal
wayshav
et ogoforgir
lswhi
charetaken?
Me:
LizzyandI
,
wej
ust
..
.i
tjusthappened.
.
Mike:ohwwell
,
youmadey
ourbed.
.Ihopey
ou
ar
er eadyt
oli
eonit
..
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t36
BANDI
LE
.
.
~AWEEKLATER~
Hi
m:howbadi
sit
?
Me:wenott
alki
ngli
keweusedt
o..
she'
s
shut
ti
ngmeout..
Him:anddoy
ouBl
ameher
?Leahsay
sKr
isi
s
done..
Me:Imessedup.
.IknowbutSabri
nahappened
bef
oreher,
whyshoulditmat
ternow?
Him:becausether
e'sachanceofachi
l
d..
Imean
shesonly19..
Me:
I'
m doi
ngaDNAt
estt
oday
..
Hi
m:hav
eyouseent
hechi
l
d?
Me:
no.
.Iwi
l
lseeherwhenIseeSabr
ina.
.
Him:
andwhati
fthechi
l
disy
our
s?Youar
e
goi
ngtol
oseKri
s..
Me:Iwon'tl
etherfi
ndoutifthechi
l
dismi
neor
not
..Idon'
twanttoloseher.
.
Hi
m:i
tsgoodtobeyou.
.al
way
smaki
ngy
our
pr
obl
emsdisappear
Me:ci
rcumstancesbruh..
Kri
swilldefi
natl
y
l
eaveme,andIcan'tl
etthathappen..Il
ovehera
l
ot.
.
Hi
m:ok,
l
etmeknowhowi
twent
,asf
orSam.
.
Me:
he'
sgoi
ngt
osuf
fer
,butnott
hatmuchonl
y
becauseofKr
is.
.
Hi
m:ai
iok,
cal
l
..
Ithenhungup,ithasbeenaweeksi ncet he
confrontat
ion,
andIseem t obeslowlylosi
ng
Kriswi t
heachsecond.Shedoesn'tanswermy
call
ssomet imes,shejusti
gnoresme..Idont
evenknowwhatt odoany more,It
oldherI
woulddoaDNAt estbutshetol
dmet hatmy
sl
eepi ngwithmyowncousi nisnother
business..
Aft
ertal
kingtoQ,Idr
ovetot
hehospi
tal
were
Sabri
naissupposedtocomewit
hthechil
dthat
shethi
nksismine..
Arr
ivi
ngther
eshewasstandi
ngatthefront
gatewit
hthechi
l
d,t
hechil
dlookedl
ikeshes4
Yearsol
dorso.
Me:
howol
disshe?
Her
:4.
.ummhHap,
sayhi
toUncl
eBandi
l
e..
Hap:
hel
l
o
Sheut
ter
edsof
tl
y,t
obehonestt
hechi
l
ddi
dn'
t
l
ookli
keme.
Me:
what
'
syourname?
Isai
dkneel
i
ngbesi
desher
.
Hap:
mynamei
sHappyKat
soLesi
ka
Me:
ohni
cenamesHap.
.
Ist
oodupsot
ofaceSabr
ina.
.
Me:
thi
ski
dai
n'
tmi
neandy
ouf
uckenknowi
t.
.
Her
:l
anguagepl
easeBandi
l
e..
Me:
l
et'
sgeti
n..
Wewal
kedi
n.
*
***
***
***
***
***
*
Af
terawhi
l
ewewal
kedout
.
Me:wewil
ltal
kwhent
her
esul
tsar
eout
..
and
by
eHap..
Hap:
bye.
.
Shesai
dsmi
l
ing,
Iwal
kedawayf
rom hert
hen
wenttomycar,
IwantedtoseeKr
is.
.t
heact
shesgiv
ingmehastostop.
.
KRI
S
.
Icoul dheart het heknockbutmyf eetwasj ust
tooheav yorIj ustwasn' tfeeli
nglikev i
sitors.
Mom andDadl ef taf ewday sagobutf unny
enoughInev ersawLi zzy.Sam alsowentback
andIwasr atherr el
iev ed.Bandileand
I.
.wer e..
well Ijustt houghtIneededsomespace
from ev erything, tot hinkt hi
ngs
through. .
ever ythingt hathappenedwasj ustt oo
much. .Everythi ngthatcamewi tht heloveNdi l
e
andIshar edj ustbr oughtal otofshi tthan
expect ed.Butt henIcameher eforhi m,because
Ilov ehim..chosehi m ov erfamilybecauseIl ove
him, butachi ld..thisisnotsomet hingIpr epar ed
for..Theknockgotmuchmor elouderbyt he
secondt hatf inallyi roll
edoutofbedandwent
forthedoor.Iopenedthedoorandmyworst
nightmareappearedther
e..Myhear
tfr
ozeand
hesmi l
ed.
Hi
m:wi
l
lyoul
etmei
n?
Me:
Venus!
Hepushedmeof ft
hedoorbymywai
stwi
th
hi
m get
ti
nginsi
de.
Hi
m:i
missedy
ou.
.al
otbabe.
.
Me:
ummhI
..
met
oo,
howdi
dyou.
.
Hi
m:Ihav
emyway s.
.y
oulookmor
ebeaut
if
ul
t
hanthel
astt
imeIsawyou..
Me:
youar
en'
tbady
our
sel
f.
.Ummhy
ou.
.I
..
God!
Myheartwasjustbeati
ngf ast,
thi
swasadr eam
Iwant
edt owakeupf r
om,itcouldn'
thappen..
Thi
scouldn'
tbehappening...
itj
ustcoul
dn't
.
Hi
m:whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngsof
lushed?Kr
is.
.
Me:
youar
eher
e..
.Bandi
l
eisgoi
ngt
o..
-
Hi
m:Idontt
hinkhe'
sgoodf
ory
ou,
andy
ou
knowitei
therwaybutI
'm nother
etodiscuss
someonewhodoesn'tevenknowme..howare
you?
Ij
ustlookedathi
m,hest
il
lhadhi
shandsonmy
waist
.
Him:Youl ookpr etti
er..
howar eyouKr is..
it
s
beenl ongandt obehonestIst i
l
llovey ou.I
tri
edt omov eonbuti tsnotthesame. .
especial
l
y
becauseIst i
ll
dol ovey oualot.IknowI
messedupbutIwasnev ergoingt ohurtyou
Kris,
Imi ghthav epretendedbutatt heendI
reall
ytrulylovedy ou..
Iknowy oucan' tsee
what '
sinmyhear tbutl etmebehonestwi t
h
you..
Ilov eyousomuch. .
andyouhav emyhear t
Krist
inMacv erdana..IknowImessedupbi g
ti
mebutal lIwanti sachance, onelastchance
i
sal lIaskf or.
.
Me:
Il
ove.
.-
Hecutmeshortashisli
psmetmi ne,sucki
ng
myli
psthenourtoungesrol
l
ingagainsteach
other
.Theki ssfel
tli
kethefirstti
mewehav e
everki
ssedbutqui ckl
yIpulledwhenIhear dthe
dooropeni ng,
myhear twasnowbeat ing
abnormal l
yasIlookedatthedoor .Ihavenever
gotscaredofany t
hingmor ethanhowIf eltt
hat
moment .Myhear twantedtol eapoutofmy
chest,
IsighedasIreali
zeditwasLeah. .
Shest
oodbyt
hedooral
lfr
ozen.
Venus:
Leah.
..
Leah:
Venus.
.
Shewhi
sper
ed.
.
Me:
whathav
eIdone.
..Bandi
l
eisgoi
ngt
oki
l
l
me.
.
"
Andwhywoul
dIdot
hat
?"
ThemomentIheardthatIwi
shedf
ormyown
deat
h,al
lIwantedt
hatmomentwastodi
eand
di
sappearonthesurf
aceoft
heear
th.
Il
ookedatBandil
ewhostoodbythedoor
,hi
s
ey
eswereburning,hewasangr
yIcoul
d
see..
he'
seyeswerestuckonVenuswhoj
ust
stoodther
eall
rel
axed.
Ndi
l
e:andwhatt
hef
ucki
shedoi
ngher
eKr
is?
Me:
I.
..
ummh.
.he.
.he.
.ummh
Ndi
le:donti
rr
it
atemeKri
sti
n,whati
nthe
f
uckingnameishedoi
nghere?
Heaskedsorel
axedbuthiseyest
oldmet
his
guyi
sgoingt
okillsomeone.
.
Me:
Idontknow.
.
Ndi
le:bef
oreIki
l
lsomeoneKr
ist
in,
Iwanthi
m
out
,now!
Me:y
eah.
..
ofcause.
.ummhVenusy
ouneedt
o
go.
.
Venus:Kr
isyoudonthavetodoanyt
hingy
ou
dontwanttodo.
.hedoesn'
townyou.
.
Bandi
l
echuckl
edmakingmeswal
l
owhar
d,i
f
onl
yVenuscoul
djustl
i
sten.
Me:
Venuspl
ease.
.
Venus:
hedoesn'
towny ouKri
s,
hedoesn'
t
deser
veyou.
.he'
sfuckedup.
.y
oudontwantt
o
mixedwit
hhim babe.
.
IdontknowhowBandi l
emanagedtocome
fr
om thedoorbuthedid,
andthenextmoment
al
lIknowi sVenusi
sont hefl
oorgr
oani
ngi
n
agony.
.thatmomentIcouldal
mostsee
Bandil
esanger.
.
Ndi
l
e:l
et'
sgoKr
ist
in.
.
Hesaidwal ki
ngoutandli
keal ostpuppyI
foll
owedbehindhim.Thedriv
et ohishouse
wasqui t
e,onl
ymyhar dbreat
hingIguesswas
theonlysound.HeparkedinHisgar agethen
gotoffthecar.If
oll
owedhiminsi dethehouse
taki
ngdeepbr eat
hestocalm my sel
fdown.So
muchhappeni nginoneday.
Hewentt othekit
chenandcamebackaftera
whil
eholdingabottl
eofwhiskyi
nhishandand
satdown.Het ookthef
ir
stgulpst
il
ll
ooki
ngat
me.
Hi
m:whatt
hef
uckwashedoi
ngi
nyourhouse?
Me:
I.
.Idontknow..
Iswear.
.hej
ustcameaf
ew
mi
nutesbeforeyougotin.
.
Hi
m:IknowI'
m nott
hebestboy
fri
endoutt
her
e
Kr
ist
inbut
..
-
Me:
i
m..
.Il
ovey
ou.
..
Iwoul
dnev
erhur
tyou.
.
Him:
ohw,
thatswhyhe'
sCol
ognei
sallover
you?
whydidn'
tj
ustst
aywit
hhimi
fthatswho
youwant
ed?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.Idontknowwhathappened.
.
Him:youknowwhathappenedKri
s..
youki
ssi
ng
yourExboyfr
iendi
swhathappened,st
opbei
ng
stupi
d..
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hecont
inueddr
inki
nghi
swine.Ij
ustst
ood
t
herewi
thtear
sstreami
ng.
Fi
nal
l
yheputt
hebot
tl
edown,
andst
ood
up,
walki
ngtowar
dsme.Myl
egsheav
edashe
gotcl
osert
ome.
Hi
m:t
akeof
fyourcl
othes.
.
Il
ookedathi
m andhewasn'
tj
oki
ng,
hewas
damnseri
ous.
.
Hi
m:f
ucki
ngt
akeof
fyourcl
othesKr
ist
in!
Hesai
d,wi
thacalmv
oice.Wi
thshaki
nghandsI
t
ookthem al
lof
f.
Hi
m:gobat
h..
Ididn'
twasteti
meIwentt ohi
sr oom andst ood
ont hecol
dshower,
try
ingtogetmymi nd
wrappedaroundthewholesit
uation.Aftera
whileIhear
dtheshowerdooropeni ng,Ilooked
behindmeandhest oodther
et ogetherwi t
hhis
wine.
Hi
m:y
oumaycomeoutnow.
.
Itookthetowelandwr
appedmyselfasIwalked
out,hewasnowseatedonthebed.Iwentand
satbesideshi
m.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Him: whatonearthdoy ouwantmet odoto
provehowmuchIl ov eyou?Whatdoy ouwant
met odohuh? isthi
sbecauseofSabr i
na?Itol
d
yout hatki
dain'
tmi ne..
whatdoy ouwantmeto
do? i
fyoudontlovemef uckengetout
now! l
eave!Af
tereverythingwehavebeen
throughtodayit'
sthis?getout!
Het
hrewhi
scarkey
satme.
Hi
m:t
akethecarandl
eav
e..
now!
Ican'
tev
en
f
aceyou!
Me:I'
m notgoi
nganywher
e..Il
oveyout
ooand
I
'm sorr
y..
.I
'
m notgoi
nganywhere.
.
Isai
dcryi
ng,
Icouldn'
tl
eave..
.notnow,
not
ever
..
Venuswasjustamistake.
Hel
ookedatmef
orawhi
l
e.
Him:Kri
sti
ndoyouwantmetot
hrowy
ouout
becauseGodknowsIcan.
.
Me:
I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
e,Il
ovey
ouandy
ou
onl
y.
.Itwasami st
ake,
thatIdontev
enknow
howithappened.
.
Hi
m: okf
ine,
cany
ouleav
emyr
oom si
ncey
ou
r
efusedtogoKri
sti
n?
Il
ookedathi m, apar tofmef eltlikei twasal l
over,
hehat edmebutanot heronej ustst ood
fi
rm onthegr ound, thinkingthathe' sj ust
angry.
.hewi llcomear ound.Ist oodupand
walkedoutofhi sr oom, wentdownst ai r
sand
j
ustsatont hecouch.Icoul dn'tst opt earsf r
om
makingthei rwayout ,andIknewi fthi sisthe
endofhim andIt heni t'
sbecauseofme.I
shouldhav epushedVenusaway .It hinkImi ght
havefall
enasl eepbecauseIwokeupwi th
someonet appi ngmyshoul der.Iopenedmy
eyesandIf oundNdi lelooki
ngatme.Imi ght
havehav ecr i
edmy selftosl
eepbutt he
headacheIwashav ingont heot herhandwas
unbearable.Ibl inkedacoupl et i
mesbef oreI
fi
nall
ysatupst raight .
Hi
m:It
hinki
tst
imey
oul
eav
e,y
ouhav
eschool
t
omorr
ow..
Het
hrewhi
scarkey
satme.
.
Hi
m:dri
vehome,
andIwi
l
lsendsomeonet
opi
ck
i
tuptomorr
ow..
Me:
whycan'
tyouj
ustdr
opmeof
f?
Hi
m:Ihav
esomewher
eIneedt
obe.
.
Icarefull
ystudi
edhim,hewasdressedinthe
cl
othesIhadbr oughthim.Il
ookedinhis
eyes,t
ryingtograspsomethi
ngfrom t
henbutI
couldn'tseeanythi
ng.
.
Me:
arewe.
.ummhar
ewebr
eaki
ngup?
Hi
m:whywoul
dwe?
Myey
esf
ell
down.
.
Him:nowyouwon'
ttal
k?Thecari
sint
he
garage.
.
Inoddedhol
dingmyt ear
sback,
Ihel
dthem
backasmyhear tbr
oke.It
sal
lyou!
myinnersel
f
screamedandIcoul
dn'
tseem t
oar
guewi
th
thatbecausei
tst
hetr
uth.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.
.
Isaidbef or eIwal kedout .Iwentt ot hegar age,
andhi sMer cedeswaspar kedi nsi de.Igot
i
n,andr ev ersedoutandasIdi dt hatt hegat e
opened.Idr oveoutofhi sy ardanddr ov e
away ,
butnothome. .
Idi dn'tdrivehome.Ij ust
drov esomewher eIdi dn'tknow, af terpr ecisely
30mi nut esIst oppedt hecarandgotof f
.Isat
besi dest hecarandbr okei ntoal oudcr y,asI
fel
tt hepai ninmyhear tsi nkdeepi nme.Iknow
phy sical paincanbepai nfulbutt hepai nIf elti
n
myhear twasmor ethananyphy sical painI
hav eev erendur ed.Icr ied,ignoringt he
Headachet hatgotwor sebyt hemi nute,I
i
gnor edev eryt
hingel seandcr i
ed, becauset hat
s
allIcoul ddo. .cry.
Afewhour
slaterIhadf
oundmywayhome,
I
f
oundLeahpacingupanddownont
hephone.
Her
:shesnother
eok?Shesnother
e..
Shetur
nedandourey
esmet
.Icoul
dseer
eli
ef
rushov
erthem.
.
Her
:shesher
e,y
eahshejustar
ri
ved.
.Andshesa
mess..
yourf
ri
enddoesn'
tdeser
veher!
Shesaidbeforehangi
ngupandcomi ng
towardsme.Shehuggedmet ight
lyandIdi
dn'
t
havetheenergytoevenhugback,
tearsj
ust
i
nvoluntar
ystreamed.
Her
:dontcr
y..
pleasedon'
tcr
y..
Shesai
dwi
pingof
fmyt
ear
s.Inodded.
.
Iwentt omyr oom buttheheadacheneeded
pil
ls.Itookmybag, andsearchedthroughitfor
them.It ookthewholesmal lcont
ainertothe
toi
letandt ookmor ethanwhatI'm supposedto
normal l
ytake.Idrankthem downwi ththetoi
let
tapwat ertoavoidLeahonmycase.Iwentback
tomyr oom andlayont hebedshuttingmyey es
ti
ghtly.Theheadachedi dn'
tstopandi twas
becomingunbear ablebythemi nute.Iwentto
thebathroom againwiththecont ainerandtook
them againtogetherwit
hpai nki
ll
ersmom had
l
eft.ThetimeIwentbackagai ntomyr oom,the
momentIcl osedmyey esmybodycooper at
ed
andshutdown. .every
thi
ngwentbl ankandI
wisheditcouldbel i
kethatforever.Soli
tude
peacerainedandt hepainwasgone.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t37
KRI
S
.
.
Ilookedathi
m andhehadhiseyesonmenot
mov ingaway.Hi
sey est
oldmealot
,andoneof
thethingswasthathewasmad.
Ndil
e:Ithoughtyoupr
omi
sedy
ouwon'
tev
erdo
t
hisev eragain.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.Ihadaheadache
Ndil
e:st
il
l.
.i
tdoesn'
tmeanyoucanalways
over
dosepill
severyt
imeyoufeel
li
keitKr
is.
.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
odo.
.
Ndi
le:
youlovecr
yingdontyou.
.Ibety
ourt
ear
s
ar
ealwaysreadyforact
ion
Il
ookeddownbl
i
nki
ngmyt
ear
saway
..
Ndi
l
e:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngnow?
feel
anybet
ter
?
Isl
owl
ynodded.
.
Ndil
e:looknow youmissedschool f
or2f ul
l
daysjustbecauseofwhat?IknowI'm angry
wit
hy ourightnowbuti
tdoesn'tmeanI '
m
l
eaving.Orbreaki
ngupwithyou..YouknowI
l
ovey ousomuch. .
Ist
il
lkeptmyheaddown.
.
Ndi
l
e:Iwanty
out
ost
ophur
ti
ngmel
i
ket
his.
.I
dontwantt ol
oseyou.NowIhadLeahonmy
casetell
ingmehowmuchIdontdeser v
ey ou
andhowmuchshehopesy ouleavemyf ucked
upass..maybeIdontdeser
veyoubecausemy
l
ifei
sf uckedupsoIwantyoutochoose
Kri
s..
betweenmeandt hatKid,
I'
m notgoingt
o
beinacompet i
ti
onwithakid..
Me:i
tsyou.
.Il
ovey ouandIwanty
obewi
th
you.
.onl
yyou.I
'm sorr
y
Ndi
le:yeah..
ifyouhadsai
dhi m..
wewoul
dhav e
st
artedplanninghisf
uneral
..Andthemi
grai
ne?
Whydidn'tyout el
lmeaboutit?
It
ookadeepbr
eat
h
Me:
Idi
dn'
twantt
ost
ressy
ouup.
..
Iwasgoi
ng
t
otel
lyou
Ndi
l
e:what
ever
,wewi
l
ldeal
wit
hthi
stoget
her
..
Hekissedmyforeheadhuggingme.Iheldont
o
hi
m getti
ngi
ntoxi
catedbyhisCologne.
.
Ev
ent
houghIwasi
nhi
sar
ms,
apar
tofmest
il
l
fel
tli
kehe'sherebecausei
minhospit
alnot
actual
lybecausehewantstobeher
e.Justt
hen
thedoctorcame,buti
twasthesamedoctor
whooncet reat
edme.
Dr:
looksli
kewearemaki
ngprogr
ess..Youcan
t
alk,y
ester
dayyoudi
dn'
twanttot
alk.
Ij
ustnodded.
.
Dr:
any way sIt hinkyouareoffthedangerzone,
I
l
ookedaty ourcasewi thsomeot her
psychiatri
st ,
Idontthinkyouaresuici
dal,you
haveacondi ti
oncal ledSelf
-harm.Hurti
ng
yourselfintentional
lytodealwithwhateveryou
aregoingt hroughj ustli
keyoudid.Overdosi
ng
pil
lsisv erydanger ous.
Ndi
l
e:sowhatcanbedone?
Dr:wellt
herapy..Therapyal
way sworks,notj
ust
onesessionbutacoupl eofsessions.If
somet hi
ngbadmusthav ehappenedt oyou,
you
mayr esultinselfhar
m becausey ouhadn't
reall
ydeal twit
ht hesit
uati
on.
Ndi
l
e:ok.
.whencanshegetdi
schar
ged?
Dr:
wellbecauseshesonsui ci
dalwatch,
the
hospi
talhaveorganisedatherapi
stforher
..
she
wil
lhavetoseet hetherapi
stever
ydayfora
weekuntilwedischargeher.
Ndi
l
e:ok.
.
TheDoct
ort
henwal
kedout
.
Ndi
l
e:y
ouwi
l
lbef
ineok.
..
Inodded, Idr
ankthosepi l
lsbecauseIwas
try
ingt odealwit
hthepai ninmyhear tmore
thant heheadachethoughIwasn' tt
ryi
ngtohurt
my self,
Ij
ustwantedtof orget
..Notharm mysel
f.
Bandi l
esphonev i
brat
edt hathetookitandread
what everi
thadreported.
Him:
hey,
ummhthere'
sanemer
gency
..Iwi
l
l
comebackl
ater
..
Me:y
oucanal
way
scomebackt
omor
row.
.Iwi
l
l
beok.
Hi
m:y
ouhav
est
art
ed.
.Isai
diwi
l
lcomeback
l
aterandpl
easedontdoany
thi
ngt
oyour
sel
f.
.
Inodded.
Hi
m:Iwantt
oheary
ousayi
t.
.
Me:
Iwonthur
tmy
sel
f.
.
Hi
m:good.
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo.
.
Hethenwalkedout,
Icl
osedmyeyesi
nhal
ing
hi
sColognethatwassl
owlyf
adi
ngaway.
"whatonear t
hdoy ouwantmet odot opr
ove
howmuchIl oveyou?Whatdoy ouwantmeto
dohuh? i
st hi
sbecauseofSabr i
na?Itoldy
ou
thatkidain'
tmine..
whatdoy ouwantmet o
do? i
fyoudontlovemef uckengetout
now! l
eave!Aft
erevery
thingwehav ebeen
throughtodayit'
sthi
s?getout!
"
Hiswordsplayedatt hebackofmyheadov er
andoveragain.Ihurthim,Iknowit
..Ihur
thim
badl
yandIwi shIdidn't.
.Idontlov
eVenusI
l
ovebey ouBandile.
.IswearIdo.Myt hought
s
weredi
sturbedasthedoorswungopenand
Leahgotin,
holdi
ngaplasti
cbagoff
ood.She
smil
edassheappr oachedme.
Her
:babes.
.hey
..
Sheki
ssedmyf
orehead.
Me:
Ihur
thi
m Leah.
.
Her
:yeah.
.butIt
rusty
ouguy
swi
l
lbef
ine.
.
Me:
I'
m pr
ayi
ngwedo,
Iwon'
tsur
viv
elosi
nghi
m..
Her
:youwi
l
l,
dontwor
ry.
.wear
est
art
ingexams
i
n2weeks..
Me:yeah,t
hat
swhyIneedt
ogetoutofher
e..
I
can'
taffordt
ofai
l
..
Her
:ar
eyougoi
nghomef
ort
hehol
i
day
?
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
.Youcancomewi
thi
fyouwant
..
Her:
Imi
ssmymom too,
evenmydad.
.t
hough
he'
sapai
nint
heass.
.
Wel
aughed.
.
Her:
Bandi
l
esav
edVenusr
ight
..
I'
m gl
adhebeat
hi
m..
Me:
i
shegone?
Her
:no.
.he'
sar
ound.
.
Me:
God!
Her:
dontworr
y,asl
ongasyouknowwhaty ou
wantthi
sshouldn'
tbehar
d.IfyouwantBandi
l
e
t
henst i
ckwi
thBandil
eandifyouwantVenus
t
hengot oVenus.
Me:IwantBandile.
.Il
ovehim,Il
ovehi
m so
much..Idontknowhowt hatki
sseven
happened.
Her
:dontst
resst
oomuch.
.Ibr
oughty
ouf
ood.
.
Shesai
dhandi
ngmesomesal
ads.
.
Me:
thanky
ou,
how'
sAv
e?
Her
:ok.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:t
her
e'ssomet
hingIhav
ereal
i
zed.
.
Me:
ohw,
whati
sit
?
Her
:Bandi
l
e..
.Idontt
hinkhewoul
dhol
d
any
thi
ngbackforyou.
.
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Her:
Idontthi
nkhewill
stopatanyt
hingfor
you,
youareli
ke.
..
hisweakness.
.Whenitcomes
t
oy ou.
.hel
ooseshissani
ty.
.
Il
ookedathert
ryi
ngt
ogetwhatshessay
ing.
.
Her :
wheny oucamelate,
Icall
edQbecauseI
waswor ri
ed..Qcall
edBandileandhet oldhi
m
youwer egoneaf ewhoursagoandwhenhe
camet oknowy ouhadn'tarr
ivedy ethewent
crazy..
wasaboutt ocallasearchpar tybut
that'
swheny oucame. .
andtheni nthemor ningI
gotwokenupbyhi sknock.
.hewasdev astat
ed
andl ookedl i
kesomeonewhodi dn'tsl
eepa
wink,he'stheonewhot ri
edwaki ngy ouup,and
tooky outot hehospi
tal,
Icouldseehewas
scaredandhebl amedhimselfbutsodi di.
.He
l
ov esy ou,
may betoomuchandt hewayhe
l
ovesy
oui
sjust
..
toodanger
ous.
.
Iswal
l
owedhar
dasIl
ookedather
.
Her
:andsamegoesf ory
ou.
.Ican'
tbel
i
ev eyou
hur
tyour
sel
fbecauseyouguyshadafight.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:Icanonlyimagi
newhatwi
l
lhappeni
fyou
guy
sbr eakup.
.
Me:
Idon'
twantust
obr
eakup.
.
Her:
butyoushouldkeepinmymi
nd,
youguy
s
ar
estil
lyett
ofight.
.l
oleat
Iate,aft
ereatingshehangedar oundal itt
le
whileunt i
lsheleft
,shehadal ateaf ter
noon
l
esson.It houghtaboutev eryt
hingshesai d,and
well onmysi deshesr i
ght..
Idontknowwhati
willdoifIeverlosehim.Thedaywentwel l,
had
av i
sitfrom MJ,andAv e.Havingt hem around
mademydaygowel l
,
becauseapar tfr
om l y
ing
ont hehospitalbed,t
here'
snot hinginteresti
ng
thatgoeson.Bandi l
ewasst il
lnotback, and
eventhoughIhadt oldhi
m orsuggest edhe
doesn'tcomebackIwant edhi mt ocomeback,
I
wantedhi m herewi
thme. .
.Ineededhim her
e
withme.Myphonest art
edr i
nging,Ipi
ckedi
tup
hopingitshim buti
twasLizzy .
Me:
Lizzy
..
Her
:heybaby
..
Me:
Ihear
dyouwer
eher
e,butIdi
dn'
tseey
ou.
.
Her:
hadtogobackear
li
er.
.I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry,
butI
wil
lmakeupfori
t.
Me:
Ihol
dyout
othat
..
Her
:how'
sev
ery
one,
yourmom,
si
ster
,Sam?
Me:t
heyareok,
butIdontknowaboutSam..
I
hav
en'tt
alkedt
ohim eversi
ncet
heylef
t.
.
Her
:ohw,
he'
snumberi
snotgoi
ngt
hrough?
Me:
Ihav
en'
tev
ent
ri
ed.
.
Her:
ohw,
ummh..sowhendoyoupl
ant
ocal
l
hi
m? t
ochecki
fhe'sokornot
..
Me:
Idontknow.
.Iwasn'
tpl
anni
ngt
o
Her
:ohw.
.
Me:
arey
ouok?
Her
:ummhy
es,
j
ust
..
ummhhowi
sBandi
l
e?
Me:
ok,
Iguess.
.
Her
:ummhl
ookIwi
l
lcal
lyoubackok?
"
Whowast
hat
..
"
Iheardatt hebackgr ound, butcouldn'thearital
l
asshehungup.I tsoundedl ikedad'sv oice
though..IsighedasIscr olleddowni nmy
contacts,untilIfoundSam' snumber ..
Reluctantl
yIcal l
edhi m..He' sphonel edme
strai
ghttov oicemai l
.Itr
iedagai nbutst i
lli
tled
met ov oi
cemai l
.Iplacedmyphonedowni n
defeat.Ifel
tey esonme, Ilookedatt hedoor
andt hedoct orwasst andi ngt herelookingat
me.Hesmi l
edashegoti n.
Dr
:how'
smypat
ientdoi
ng?
Me:I
'm ok,
butcan'
tsayt
hesameaboutbei
ng
her
e..
Dr:
Iknowthef
eel
i
ng.
.Buti
tsj
ustapr
otocol
we
havetof
oll
ow.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.
Hel
ookedatme,
car
eful
l
yanal
ysi
ngme.
.
Me:
what
?
Dr:
I'
mj ustt
ryi
ngtogetwhyy ouwoulddo
somethingli
kethat
..
Imeany ouareayoung
beauti
full
ady,
withagreatfut
uret
hatawait
s
her.
.whythenhurty
ourself
?
Me:
youwon'
tunder
stand.
.
Dr
:Ihav
eal
lthet
imei
nthewor
ld.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
donty
ouhav
epat
ient
stobel
ooki
ngaf
ter
?
Dr:
nah.
.myshi
ftj
ustendedsoIhav
emucht
ime
i
nmyhands..
Me:
howi
sitbei
ngadoct
or?
Dr:
it
sok,IlovedoingwhatIdo..
it
s
j
ust.
.somet hi
ngIhavealwayswantedt o
do.
.helpi
ngpeoplemakesmehappybutt hisi
s
notaboutme. .
Iknowwhaty ouaretr
yingt odo
Ichuckl
edwhi
l
ehej
ustsmi
l
ed
Me:
doy
ou?
Dr
:hmm.
.so?
why
?
Me:Idontknow.
.becauseI
'
m scar
ed.
.because
I
'm scar
ed..
Dr
:scar
edofwhat
?
Me:
l
oosi
nghi
m..
Ifeel
..
li
ke.
.
Iexhal
ed.
.
Dr
:soyoudr
ankthepi
l
lsbecauseyoudidn'
t
wantt
odealwi
ththet
houghtofloosi
nghim?
Me:y
eahandbecauseIhadaheadachet
hat
woul
dn'
tstop.
.
Dr
:mi
xi
ngpi
l
lsl
i
ket
hati
spr
ett
ydanger
ous.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.If
eel
.
.st
upi
d?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Dr
:i
tsokt
ofeel
..
stupi
dIguess.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Ireal
l
yneedt
ogetoutofhere,
Ihaveexams
i
ntwoweeksandIneedt
ogot oschool.
.
Dr:
Iwi
llseewhattodo..
maybearr
ange
somet
hingforyou..
butonet
hingf
orsur
eyou
havet
oseeat herapi
st.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Dr
:Iwi
l
linf
ormy
ourhusband.
.
Me:
myhusband?
Dr
:yeah.
.t
heguy
..
wit
htat
oos.
.
Il
aughed
Me:
ohw
Dr:
yeah.
.sur
pri
singl
yIdontseenor
ingt
here.
.
Thatguywasreadytokil
lmewhenIaskedto
tal
ktothefamil
yalone.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.Icani
magi
ne.
.
Dr
:butt
her
e'ssomet
hingt
hatdoesn'
tadd.
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Dr:
howcanaguyl i
kehim getagir
lli
ke
you.
.beauti
fulgi
rll
i
keyou..
itj
ustdoesn'
tadd.
Nowi t
'slat
e,Iwi
lll
eav
ey outorest
..
Hewi nkedbef orewalki
ngout .Icheckedt her
e
ti
meandi twasar ound1900hr s.Idontusuall
y
sleepatthatt i
mesot odaywasj ustgoingtobe
af i
rst
..Ifel
tlonely
,soalone.
.Ikeptmyey eson
thedoorhopi nghewoul darri
v eanyt i
me,I
prayedhedoesandmyhopeswer eattheir
mosthi ghestpoint.Buthedidn'tandfinall
yI
closedmyey esdrowninginsleepwi thaheav y
heart.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Il
eanedagai
nstmycarastheAudiR8v 10
pul
ledi
nandparkedi
nf r
ontofmycar.Aft
er
sometimehegotoutandwalkedupt
ome.
Hi
m:Andy
!
Me:
thatsoundssogaybr
uh.
.
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:gay
?
Me:
that
swhatIsai
d..
Hi
m:ssupdawg?
Me:
non.
.
Hi
m:t
hatsucks.
.hear
dyouar
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
ed.
.
Me:
youmi
ssed.
.
Wel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:sheahot
ty?
Me:
obv
iousl
y.
.
Hi
m:Iwannaseeher
..
Me:
youwi
l
l.
.wher
e'sJasmi
ne?
Hi
m:shet
her
e..
dei
fyi
ngmeasal
way
s..
Me:
i
tsucksbei
ngJay
..
Hi
m:i
tdoes,
bei
ngmei
sfucker
y..
Me:
yeah.
.sowhaty
ougatf
orme?
Him:I
'm gatDonornSnuz.
.ownst
heshi
p..
buthe
expensi
veasf uck.
.
Me:
thef
ir
stt
ri
pissupposedt
ogi
vemeupt
o13
mi
ll
i
onUSdoll
ars
Hi
m:he'
schar
ging3mi
l
li
ondol
l
ars
Me:
whatapr
icehe'
sgatt
her
e..
Hi
m:t
ell
meabouti
t.
.butIt
hinki
tsal
lwor
thi
t.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:andy
eaht
hecar
s..
Igott
hem
Me:
youdo?
Hi
m:y
eahbutIdontcomecheap.
.
Me:
Iknow,
moneyi
snotapr
obl
em.
.
Hi
m:andgoodt
hingy
ouar
eahacker
..
youcan
sor
tyourownsecur
it
y..
Me:
Iknow.
.l
et'
sgot
omyof
fi
ce.
.
West
art
edwal
ki
ngt
owar
dst
heel
evat
or.
.
Hi
m: Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
ev ethi
sisy
ourwar
ehouse.
.
I
tlooksli
kesomef ancycompany
..
Me:
fordi
sgui
sei
t'
sper
fect
..
Hi
m:andIreal
l
ythoughtwhenIcomehere,
I
woul
djustsmell
il
legal
shi
tfr
om thegat
e..
Me:
Ihadt
ocl
eani
tup.
.pol
i
cewasaf
terme
Hi
m:t
hat
sabur
ner
..
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
**
~2HOURSLATER~
Him:
andthat
sal
lIguess.
.t
hisi
sgoi
ngt
ocost
youshi
t.
.
Me:Iknow.
.butthewhatI
'm goi
ngtogetouti
f
t
hisiswort
ht aki
ngcareof20peopl
eforyear
s..
Hi
m:ai
igoodl
uck.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
West
oodupandwentdownst
air
s..
Hi
m:Inev
erknewy
ouwer
ethet
ype
Me:
i
tsonl
yforawhi
l
e.
Him:t
hatswhattheysay
..
humantr
aff
icki
ng
paysbutifi
tgoesdown..
youar
edead.
Me:
dontwor
ry.
.Igott
hatcov
ered.
.
Hi
m:wannagooutf
oradr
ink?
Me:
nah,
Ihav
etoseemygi
rl
..
Hi
m:seeherwher
e?
Me:
hospi
tal
Hi
m:ai
n'
tvi
sit
inghourov
er?
Il
ookedatmywat
chandi
twasal
readyar
ound
2200hr
s.
Me:Iwi
l
ljusthav
etot
hrowi
nsomecasht
o
somenurse
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y
Me:
yeah
Him:whydoal
lthegi
rl
syoudat
eal
way
sin
hospi
tal
?Arey
ouhitt
ingher
?
Me:
Ionl
yhi
tNi
col
ecauseshef
uckencheaton
me.
.
Him:
thatwasamessyone.
.onceupontime,
one
daySamuelandBandi
l
ewerebestfri
ends.
.
Me:
yeah.
Hi
m:soy
ouguysar
egoi
ngt
ohat
eeachot
her
ov
eraBi
tch?
Me:
abi
tchIl
oved.
.
Hi
m:buty
ouwer
eal
socheat
ingonher
..
Me:Iwas..
butSam wasmybestf
ri
end.
.We
usedtofuckaroundt
oget
her
Hi
m:l
i
fe..
any
way
..Wewi
l
lgoseet
hecar
s
t
omorr
ow..
Me:
good
Hi
m: andpl
easepr
epar
eabeaut
if
ulgi
rlf
orme.
.I
wi
llpay
Il
aughedasIwal
kedt
omycar
..
Idrov etot hehospi talimmedi ately,obv i
ously
shemusthav ewai tedf orme.Idr ov emuch
faster.Byt hetimeIar ri
vedatt hehospi talit
wasar ound2300hr s.Itdidn'ttakememuch
ti
met ogeti nherr oom.Shewasal readyasl eep
andl ookedr atherpeacef ul
..Itrail
edmyhand
onherbeaut if
ul f
ace, I
'm starti
ngt ot hinkt he
wayIl ov eherisjustgoi ngt okil
lme.Smel li
ng
hisper fumeonhery esterdaysuf f
ocat edme, I
evenf eltli
keIwasgoi ngt odieandi thur tso
bad.Ihav eneverlov edany onelikeIl oveKr i
s
andpr obabl yI
'mv ulnerable,weak..and
everythingelse.li
terall
yI '
m athermer cyandas
muchasIhat eitIcan' tseem t ochangei t.
.
Iki
ssedhersli
ghtl
ypart
edlipssoft
ly.WhenI
pul
ledouthereyesopened.Shelooked
beaut
if
ul,
shestheloveofmyl i
fe,
myl i
fe
basi
cal
l
yandI'm notgoi
ngt
oloseher
..
nott
o
somekidatl
east.
Her
:youcameback.
.
Shewhi
sper
edsof
tl
y.
.
Me:
yes,
Itol
dyouIwoul
d..
Her
:Bandi
l
eIl
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
Iloveyoutoobabe.
.Il
ovey
ouv
ery
much..
nowsleep.
.
.
SAM
.
Me:
hel
l
o?
Her
:f
inal
l
y..
arey
ouok?
Me:
Lizzy
?It
houghtweagr
eed.
.-
Her
:yeahbutIcoul
dn'
tgethol
dofy
ouf
or3
day
s..
Me:
yeah,
Ihav
ebeenbusy
.
Her
:Iwaswor
ri
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
what
'sup?
Her
:hebeatme.
.heknowsI
'
m cheat
ing.
.
Me:
Shi
tLi
zzy
!thi
sisget
ti
ngoutofhand
Her
:he'
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lme.
.
Me:
youwantout
?
Her:
hewi l
lfi
ndme,youneedt
obecaref
ul.
.He'
s
goi
ngt okil
lusbothwhenhefi
ndsouti
tsyou
I
'm cheat
ingwith.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.
Her:
Ijusthav
et opr
oveI'
m notcheat
ingand
ever
ythingwil
lbefi
ne.
.Iwi
llcal
lyouusi
ngthi
s
numberok?
Me:
yeahbutdon'
tcal
ltoomuch.
.
Her
:yeah.
.Il
ovey
ouSam.
.Ir
eal
l
ydo
.
KRI
S
.
Me:
no.
.Idontwantt
osl
eep.
.
Hi
m:Kr
ispl
ease.
.
Me:
no.
.sl
eepnextt
ome.
.
Helookedatmef
orawhi
l
ebef
oret
aki
ngof
f
hi
sshoes..
Helayednextt
omeandl
aymyheadonhi
s
chest
.
Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
enotcomi
ng.
.
Him:
Iwasn'
tgoingtosl
eepwel
lwi
thoutseei
ng
you.
.howwasyourday?
Me:
i
twasok.
.
Hekissedmyforeheadasherubbedmy
back,
hesmeltgood.Int
otal
sil
enceIl
ist
enedt
o
hi
sheartbeat
.
Me:
Idontwantust
oev
erbr
eakupBandi
l
e..
Hi
m:met
oo,
Iwi
shf
ort
hatt
oobabe.
.
Hearinghi
m saythatmademyheartmel
t.He
wishedfort
hesame. .
not
hingmadememor e
happytohearthat.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouKr
ist
inMacv
erdana
Thenextdayasal way sIwokeupandhewasn' t
nexttome, Iwasalone.IexhaledasIst
oodup
andwal kedtothebathroom.Iwashedmy
face,
brushedmyt eethandbat hedt
hencame
backtot heroom.Iwashopi ngIgetdi
schar
ged
today.IsatonthebedasIt ookmyphone.
Therewasamessagef rom mom.
"Youarecl
osi
ngschool
sin3weeks,
arey
ou
cominghome"
Aft
erreadi
ngthetextIdi
aledhernumberand
sheansweredaft
erawhile.
Her
:Kr
is
Me:
mom
Her
:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m good,
yesI
'
m comi
nghomef
ort
he
hol
i
day
..
Her:
that
sgoodt
ohear
,i
twi
l
lbeni
cehav
ingy
ou
ar
ound
Me:
yes.
.
ThedoorthenopenedandDrTer encewal
ked
i
n,hewaswi t
hBandi l
eandhehadchanged.
Bandi
lereal
lylookedhot
,sohandsomeandhe
wasmi ne.
Me:
mom,
Iwi
l
lcal
lyou.
.Il
ovey
ou
It
henhungupput
ti
ngmyphoneasi
de.
Dr
:mor
ningKr
ist
in.
.
Me:
mor
ning.
.Am Igoi
nghome?
Bandil
ewal
keduptomeandkissedmycheek
makingmefl
ushandtur
nthecolourr
ed.
Dr:
welly
es,
yourhusbandher
ewill
haveto
monit
oryou.
.andIhavemadearr
angements
t
hatyoucomeher e3daysperweekfor2
weeks.
Me:
ok.
.
Dr:
Ihaveal
readydischar
gedyou.
.andwel
lI
hopethesamethingdoesn'
thappen.
Me:
i
twon'
t.
.
Dr:
goodbecausei
twouldbealossi
f
somethi
ngbadhappenstoyou.
.
Il
aughed.
Me:
not
hingwi
l
lhappenIpr
omi
se.
.
Dr
:good,
takegoodcar
eofy
our
sel
f.
.
Andoffhewasgone.Ist
oodupandhugged
Ndi
le.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hi
..
hel
i
kesy
ou
Ipul
l
edoutf
rom t
hehug.
.
Me:
who?
Hi
m:t
hedoct
or.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
stopbei
ngcr
azy
..
Hi
m:I
'
m ser
ious.
.Icanseet
hesi
gns.
.
Me:
wej
eal
ousai
n'
twe?
Hi
m:thi
sisnotaboutmebei
ngjeal
ousbecause
f
ort
unatel
yforyouI'
m al
way
sjeal
ous.
.Butit
s
t
hathewantsyou..
Me:wel
lIl
ovey
ou,
andy
ouonl
ysohe'
dbet
ter
f
orgeti
t.
.
Isai
dstandingonmyt oessoIcanki sshim.
Themomentourl i
psmet ,hehungri
l
ykissed
me,aneedingki
ss..
he'shandswenttomyass
andsqueezedmaki ngmegr oaninbetweenthe
ki
ss.Ipushedhim awayasIcouldstartfeel
i
ng
hisdi
ckgrow.
Hi
m:f
uck!
Hegr
oanedasIt
ookast
epback.
Me:
nother
e..
Hi
m:l
ookatme
Hewasr
eal
l
yhar
dbutt
hennother
e.
Af
terawhi
l
ewewer
ewal
ki
ngout
..
Hi
m:y
ouar
egoi
ngt
obest
ayi
ngwi
thme.
.
Me:
what
?no.
.Leah.
.-
Hi
m:Leahagr
ees.
..
Ihav
etokeepaney
eony
ou.
.
Me:
whatt
heheck?
Bandi
l
eI'
m notsui
cidal
!
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Me:
noy
oudon'
t!
Hi
m:canwenotf
ight
..
babepl
ease
Me:
Idontl
i
ket
his.
.
Iknewprobabl
yhedidn'
ttr
ustmeenought o
l
eavemeal onei
nthehouse,obv
iousl
yscar
edI
wouldcheatonhi
m.
Me:
youdontt
rustme?
Him:
Ido.
.buty
oursaf
etycomesf i
rst
..
Iknow
youar
emadbutthisi
sallforgoodreason.
.
Me:
thi
sisaboutVenusai
n'
ti
t?
Hi
m:whyt
hef
uckdoy
ouhav
etoi
nvol
vehi
m?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hel ookedatmeasIgoti nhiscar,
Ididn'
thave
theener gytofi
ghtanymore.
.Itwasjust
drai
ni ng.Hegotinhi
scaralsoandst ar
tedit
.
Thej ourneytohi
shousewassi l
entuntilhej
ust
stoppedt hecarbesi
destheroad.
Him:
IloveyouKri
s,andIjustwantt
oprot
ect
you.
.Idontwantt
ol osey
ouok..Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Het henst art
edhi scaranddr ovet ohi
shouse.
Themomentwegoti nsidethehousehepi nned
meagai nstt hewal l,
pressinghi sbodyagai nst
minewhi ledev ouringmyl i
ps.Instantl
yigotwet
asIf el
thishar dnessonmyst omach.Het ook
offmyt op,foll
owedbymybr a.Theat mospher e
wasj ustintense.Icouldn'twai ttofeelhi
m
i
nsideme, Iwast hrobbingf orhim.Heunzi pped
myt rouseranddr aggedt hendownt ogether
withmypant iesthenl i
ft
edmeupandpl aced
meont hecouch.Iunzi ppedhistrouserthen
sneakedmyhandi nhispant st
ohi shardrock
dickandr ubbedhim.Hecl osedhiseyes
groaningthent ookmyhandsof ftaki
ngdown
hisjeans.Afterawhilehewassi nki
nginme, I
pull
edmyhai rashest artedmov i
ngandIcoul d
feelthepleasureeverywher eanditwas
j
ust..j
ustamazi ng.
Ididn'twantittostop.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t38
KRI
S
.
Istoodattheti
ll
,payi
ngforthenewcl othesI
hadjustboughtorratherBandi
lehadj ust
bought.Af
terthathotsessionheactually
thoughti
twill
bear eall
ygoodideaifwego
shopf orcl
othessi
nceIwi ll
bestay i
ngwithhi
m
tempor ar
il
y.Ihadsuggestedwej ustgoand
pickupsomeofmycl othesatthef l
atbuthe
refused."
Iwanttospendmoneyony ou"hehad
said.Hehadexcusedhi mselfbecausehehada
phonecal lt
otake.
Cashi
er:
thi
swi
l
lbeR12300
Thatsalot..andal lf
orclothes.Ireallyhat e
spendingal otoncl othesorany thingelsef or
thatmatterbecausei t
'sjustunnecessar y
expenses.Igav eherBandi l
escar d.Aftera
whileIwaswal kingoutoft heshopl ookingfor
him.ThemomentIgotoutoft heshopmyey es
metVenus' s.Myhear tstart
edbeat ingf ast,
this
won'tendwel l.Hewal kedupt omeasmyey es
ranaroundsear chi
ngf orBandile.
Venus:
hey
Me:
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dgo
Venus:
why?
scar
edy
ourboy
fri
endmi
ghtcause
ascene?
Me:
Venuspl
ease.
.j
ustl
eav
e
Venus:
Iknowy
oul
oveme.
.andt
rustmeIl
ove
youtoo
Me:
Idont.
.pl
easel
eav
e..
theki
sswasa
mi
stake,
youneedt
ogoback..
Venus:
notwi
thouty
ou.
.
Me:
Venus!
Venus:
youcanalway
scomeschoolinOxford.
.
Pl
ustheyof
fert
hebest.
.He'
snotgoodforyou
Me:Idontcare,
whatmat
ter
sisIl
ovehi
m and
youshouldleave!
Venus:
ishet
her
easony
ouwer
einhospi
tal
?
Me:
no.
.cany
oul
eav
eal
ready
?
Venus:
Kri
s..
Me:no!
leave!I
fyoureal
lyl
ovemey ouwilll
eav
e
ri
ghtnow..gobacktoschool
.
.Il
ovehim,andI
don'
tthinkI'
m goi
ngtostopatanysecond.
Venus:
l
ookmei
ntheey
esandt
ell
mey
oudont
l
ovemeandIswearIwi
l
lst
opbot
her
ingy
ou.
.
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
stopbr
eaki
ngy
ourownhear
t.
.
Venus:
tel
lme..
tel
lmeKr
is.
.andIswearIwi
l
l
st
opbother
ingyou
Me:
whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?
stopi
t!
Venus:
sayi
tKr
is.
.t
ell
mey
oudontl
oveme.
.
Me: IdontloveyouVenus,Ilovesomeone
else..
andI '
m notgoi
ngtol etanythi
ng
j
eopar dizewhathim andIshar e.
.notev
en
you.willyouleav
emeal onenow?
Heputhi
shandsi
nhi
shead.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouKr
is
Me:andIl
ovesomeoneel
se.
.I'
m sor
rybutI
t
hinkyoushoul
dleav
enow..
Isaidal
readyretr
eati
ngfrom him,Ist
il
lcoul
dn'
t
seeBandile.It
ookadeepbr eathtryi
ngto
processwhatjusthappened..Il
ookedaround
againandst
ii
lhewasn'
tanywher
einsi
ght.I
tookastepbackonl
ytobumpuntosomethi
ng
orsomeone.HisCol
ognefi
l
ledmynostr
il
s.
Me:
Iwasl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou
Isai
dtur
ningt
ohi
m..
Him:t
hecall
tookl
ongert
hanIt
hought
..
wedone
herer
ight
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:wannagot
othesal
oon?
Me:
doIl
ookt
hatbad?
Hi
m:no.
.y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ulasal
way
s..
Me:
Iguessgoi
ngt
othesal
oonwon'
thur
t.
.
Wewal
kedt
othesal
oon.
Af ewhoursl
aterIwaswal
ki
ngoutoft
he
saloonwit
hhim besi
desmeinal
ongthi
ckt
wist
.
Itwasreal
lypai
nful
.
Bandi
l
ehaddroppedmeatt
hesaloonand
camebackwhenIwasal
mostdone.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
i
tspai
nful
..
Hi
m:sor
ry
Hekissedmyforeheadaswewalkedhandin
handoutofthemall.Wegoti
nhiscarandhe
star
teddri
vi
ngbuttherout
ehewasusing
wasn'tt
herout
eweusual l
yuse.
Me:
wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Hi
m:I
'
mtaki
ngy
ouout
..
forsomef
reshai
r.
.
Me:
fr
eshai
r?i
tsar
ound1800hr
s..
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Hi
m:y
eah?
Me:
i
stheKi
dyour
s?
Hi
m:no.
.t
heki
disn'
tmi
ne.
.It
oldy
ou
Ismi
l
edoutofr
eli
ef.
Af
terawhi
l
ehehadpar
kedi
nfr
ontofsome
r
est
aur
ant
.
Hegotoutandcamet omysideandopenedt he
doorforme..
Igotoutandwewal kedi
nhandin
hand.IranoutofwordsasIlookedaround.
Therewererosepetal
sinthefloor,
atabl
einthe
middle,
softmusicatthebackground.
Me:
thi
sisr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ady
out
hinkso.
.
Me:
I'
m notev
endr
essedt
hepar
t.
.l
ookatme
Iwasi
nsomej
eansandaT-
shi
rt
.
Hi
m:sowhat
?come.
.
Heledmetot hetabl
e,
andgr
abbedoutthe
chai
rforme.Isatdownashealsosatdown.
Him:Idontcareaboutwhaty
ouwear
ing,
it
neverbother
sme. .
Ishy
lysmi
l
ed.
.
If
eltli
kear etar
dedperson,
al
lshyinf
rontof
hi
m. If
eltr
idicul
ousbutthen,
canyouBlame
me.
.hej
ustl
ookedsohot
.
I
tseemedl i
kehehadbookedtherestaurant.
Thewaitercameaf
terawhileandweor dered.
Every
thi
ngwasgoingwellunti
lheaskedmet o
dancewithhim.
Me:
Idontknowhowt
odanceNdi
l
e..
Hi
m:dontwor
ry,
Igoty
ou.
.come
Hest uckouthi shandt ome, aft
eral otof
hesitationIt ookit.Hepull
edmei nanembr ace
holdingmywai st,
whi l
eIj
ustplacedmyhands
onhi sneckandmov edaft
erhi m witheachst ep
het ook.Af t
erawhi lemymi ndwasn' tev eni
n
thedancebutr athermymi ndwasl ockedupat
thet heor ythatI'
mi nhisar
ms, hiswar m arms
andt her e'snowher eIwouldr atherbet han
beingi nhi sarmswher ei
tfeelssafe.
*
***
***
***
***
**
~THREEWEEKSLATER~
.
Me:
so,
youar
egoi
ngt
oZambi
a?
Her
:no,
Ihav
efoundapartti
mej
ob.
.soIwi
l
lbe
wor
kingdur
ingt
hehol
idays.
Me:
wher
e?
Her
:wher
eMJwor
ks.
.
Me:
ohw.
.
Ismil
edather
,shewasgoi
ngt
obewor
kingat
Bandi
lescompany.
Me:
wel
lI'
m happyf
ory
ou.
.
Shel
ookedatmebef
orebur
sti
ngi
nlaught
er.
.
Her
:soy
ouwontsayi
t?
Me:
saywhat
?
Her
:wel
lmay besomethi
ngl
ike"
ohhAve,
that
s
myboyf
riendscompanyyoubeworki
ngat"
Me:
i
tdoesn'
treal
l
ymat
ter
..
Her
:ai
iyourboy
fri
endi
sloadedasf
uck.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Wewalkedtomycar
.Todaywast
helastdayof
school
andIwasgoi
nghomethef
oll
owingday.
Her
:I
'm gl
adwedonewi
tht
heexams,
andnow
wetaki
ngabreak.
.
Me:
met
oo.
.
Shehuggedme.
.
Her
:I
'mr
eal
l
ygoi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou
Me:
met
oo.
.
Her
:i
sMsAmer
icangoi
nghome?
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
yeah,
Leahi
sgoi
ngbutI
'
m notsur
ewhen.
.
Her
:ok.
.by
e
Me:seeyou.
Igotinmycaranddr oveto
Bandil
eshouse.Ihavebeenstayi
ngthereever
si
nceIgotdischarged,
Leahpersonal
lytol
dme
shesokalonebutIhighl
ydoubtshesstayi
ngat
homebecauset hi
ngshavebeenpr et
tyser
ious
betweenherandQ.Bandilemademegosee
thetherapistatthehospi talandev erytimeIgo
thereIalway sbumpi ntoDrTer ence.He'sr eal
ly
aniceguy ,he's28..
hehadt oldmehi saget hi
s
otherti
meIwentt here..Ipr essedt hegat e
remotet hatBandi l
ehadgi venmeandt hegat e
openedasIdr ovei n.Iclosedt hegat easIgot
i
nsidethehouse. Ididn'
tseehi scarout side,well
hehasmanycar sbutIknowheal way suses
theMer cedesC63andi twasn' tinmeani nghe' s
nothome.Iunl ockedt hehouseandgoti n.It
wasar ound1400hr s,soIwentt otheki t
chenso
toatleastpr eparelunchbutt herewasanot e
onthef ri
dgeandi mmedi atelyIt ookit,
itwas
scri
bbledinBandi l
eshandwr i
ting.Wi thasmi l
eI
readit
"
Iwon'tbehomeear
lyt
oday,Iwentt
oCapet
own
t
oseeEnhleandI
vysopleasedontwai
tup.
I
l
oveyou,
Bandi
l
e"
Mysmi
l
efadedasIputt
hel
ett
erdown,
i
twoul
d
hav ebeenni cei fhehadt akenme, isobadwant
toseeEnhl ebutt henheal way skeepsmeaway
from hi sfami lyaf fai
rs.Iwal kedoutoft he
kitchenandwentt othebedr oom.Yest erday
afterschool Iwentt othef latandt ooksomeof
mycl othest hereandasui tcase.Igoti nt he
bedr oom andt ookoutmysui tcasef rom t he
closetandpl acedi tont hebed.Iwentbackt o
thecl osetandt ooksomeofmycl othesand
car ef ull
ypackedt hem int hesuitcase.Byt he
ti
meIwasdoneIwasabi tti
red.Iwent
downst airstot heki t
chen, tookoutapl ateof
l
astni ghtlasagneandpl acedi nthemi cr owav e.
.
Ididn' thavet heener gytoCook.Af terawhi l
eI
wassi tti
ngi nfrontoft het veat i
ng.Bei ngal one
i
nt hishousei strulydepr essingbecauset he
housei sjustsobi g.Af t
erEat ingIwashedmy
plat e,whi l
eIwasst il
ldoingt hatani deacamei n
mi nd.Iwasgoi ngt owai tforhi mtillhecomes
back.It ookaqui ckshowerbef orechangi ng
i
nt osomel i
nger i
eIhadboughtt hisot herday
withLeah,wellLeahhadf orcedmet obuyi t
.I
appli
edl i
psti
ck,t
henputonmysi lkygownand
satinthesitt
ingroom wai ti
ngf orhim.I
deli
beratel
ylockedt hedoor sandl eftthekeyon
thedoorsot hatwhenhecomeshewi l
lbe
requir
edt oknockincaseIwoul dhav eslept
thenIwoul dwakeup.Ist r
uggledt okeepawake
andar oundmi dnightIslept.Myey el
ids
couldn'tt
akeitany more.Myphoner i
nging
wokemeup, withmyey escl osedIanswer ed..
Me:
mhhhm
Cal
l
erI
D:babeopenup.
.
Qui
ckl
yIbl
i
nkedmyey
esopen.
.
Me:
youar
eher
e..
Iwokeupandr ushedupstai
rsleavi
ngmy
phonedown..Il
ookedatmy sel
font hemirr
or.
.
Theli
psti
ckwasst i
ll
there.
.Iwentback
downstai
rstothedoorthenunlocked,Sl
owlyI
openedthedoor.
Hi
m:hey
,I
'm.
.-
He'sspeechst
oppedashiseyeslust
edovermy
body .
.Hegoti
nthehousecl
osingthedoor
behindhi
m.
Hi
m:wow!
Me:
youl
i
ke?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hedroppedthegownt
othef
loorl
eav
ingi
nthe
l
inger
ieonl
y.
.
Me:
Iwai
tedf
ory
ou.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Hesai
dcl
osi
ngt hegapebet
weenus,
hi
shands
f
oundmywaistandhepull
edmetohim.
Hi
m:y
ouar
esobeaut
if
ul,
real
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.
Hesai dcar
essi
ngmybodysl i
ght
lyandmybody
shiver
edtohist
ouch.Hekissedmylipsashe
pickedmeupandwal kedwithmetohisr oom.
Heputmedownassoonaswegoti nside..
Hi
m:i
wantt
omakel
ovet
oyour
ightnow.
.
Hesai dcuppi ngmyf ace.Mybr eathingwas
alr
eadyunst abl e.Hisl ipsf oundmi ne,andsoftly
,
gentl
yheki ssedmyl i
ps, histoungecoaxi ng
minemaki ngmef eel butterfl
iesinmyst omach,
hishandsmov edf rom myf acet omywai stand
broughtmer eal closet ohi m.Thatni ghtitwas
dif
ferent ,
itwasn' tany thingwehadev erdone,he
wasv er ygent leliket hef ir
stt i
me, hemadel ov
e
tome, touchedmeev erywher eexpl oringmy
body,event hewayheki ssedmewasdi ffer
ent
andIl ovedev erymi nut eofi t
.Thef ollowingday
Iwokeup, l
ockedi nhisar ms.I fonlyheknew
howmuchIl ovebei ngi nhi sar ms.Hi shand
wascar essingmybacksof tl
y.Hewassowar m. .
Hi
m:awake?
Iqui
ckl
ycl
osedyey
es,
tr
yingt
ofakeasl
eep.
.
Him:IknowyourbodyKri
s,
andthewayy ou
breat
hwheny ouaresl
eepingandr
ightnowI
knowy ouar
eawake..
Igi
ggl
edsof
tl
yasIhel
dhi
mti
ght
ly.
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:mor
ning,
howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
Isl
eptwel
lyou?
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tdomuchsl
eepi
ngMr
sThul
ani
Me:
ohw
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Him:i
fIcoul
d,Iwoul
dhav
egoneal
lni
ghtand
day.
.
Igi
ggledshyl
y,hewasreal
l
ymakingme
uncomfort
abl
e,myfacewasal
readybur
ning.
Me:I
'
m goi
ngt
omissy
ou,
wil
lyoucomesneak
ar
oundwit
hme?
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.
.
Me:
how'
sEnhl
e?
Hi
m:she'
sgood,
i
tsal
mostov
er.
.
Me:
I'
m gl
ad.
.andI
vy?
yourmom?
Him:andIvy
..well
shesok.
.t
her
e'saf
amilyget
toget
herthi
ng,somereuni
onfr
om mymot her
's
sideofthefamil
yandshewantsustogo..
Me:youguy
sshoul
dgo..
.af
amil
yreuni
oni
s
supposedt
obri
ngthef
amil
ytoget
her.
.
Hi
m:Iwanty
out
ocomewi
thme.
.
Me:Bandi
l
e..
I'
m notf
ami
l
y..
.t
hisi
saf
ami
l
y
t
hing.
.
Hi
m:andy
ouar
emyf
ami
l
y..Pl
ease
Me:
Bandi
l
eno.
.pl
ease
Hi
m:y
ouwantmet
obeg?
becauseIwi
l
l.
.
Me:
wewi
l
ltal
kwhenIcomeback.
.
Hi
m:i
tsi
nDecember
..
Me:
great
..
wewi
l
ltal
kthen
Hi
m:babe.
.
Istoodup,pi
cki
nguphi
sT-shi
rtwhi
chwason
thefloorandsl
i
ppedi
nit
.
Me:I
'
m goi
ngt
omakebr
eakf
ast
,whatdoy
ou
want?
Hi
m:I
'
m sur
eMma'
Nyar
ahasal
readydonet
hat
..
Isi
ghed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.wel
lI'
m goi
ngt
oeat
..
Isai
dal
readywal
ki
ngt
othedoor
.
Him:
babe,
I
'm beggi
ngy
ou.
.Iwantt
oint
roduce
you.
.
Me:
youwi
l
lseemedownst
air
s..
Iwalkedoutandwentdownst ai
rs,l
eavi
nghim
screamingmyname.Whati fhisfamil
ydoesn't
l
ikemet hatmuch?
Ican'thavethat.
.Withevery
stepIgrewmoreandmor ef
ir
m onmydeci sion.
Iwasn'tgoi
ngandthat
st hat
!
Igotdownstairsandthatswhenithitme,i
ts
weekendandMma' Nyaradoesn'
tcomeon
weekends,Ihadt oaskBandil
etostopher
becauseIcanmanageper f
ectl
ywithoutheron
weekends.Istart
edprepari
ngbreakfast
,after
sti
cki ngmyheadset sinmyear s.Iplay edt he
LeonaLewi s'spl ayli
stIhadf or getti
ng
every thingt hatwasgoi ngon.Af termaki ng
breakf ast ,Idishedupandt hat swhenIr eal ized
hewasl eani ngagai nstthecount er,dressedup
i
nami l
itaryt r
ouser ,
whiteNi kesneaker s, anda
buckethatt opl ess.Hi strouserwasabi tlow
thatIcoul deasi l
yseehi sKev i
nKl einbr i
ef s.He
l
ookedheav enly, sohot.Hi sabswer ej ust
there,andt atoos. .helookedsodamnhotand
sexy .Qui cklyIsetmyey esof fhi sheav enl y
upperbody ,
Ican' tbedr oolingl iket his...Ibi tmy
l
owerl ipasIt urnedawayf r
om hi m gi vinghi m
myback.Idi dn'tr emov etheearphones, hadt o
uset hatasawayt odest ructmy self.Ipour ed
thejui cei ntot wogl asses,avoi dinghi sey esat
anycostbutIcoul dfeelhisey esbur nmyski n,
fi
nallyIsatont heki tchenst ool andr emov ed
theear phonespl acingmyphoneaway .
Hewalkeduptomeandmademegetof ft
he
chai
rmakingmeseati
nthecount
erwi
thhim
get
ti
ngbet
weenmyl
egs.
Him:Idontknowwhyyouareref
usi
ng,
buti
fyou
notcomingwi t
hthenI
'
m notgoi
ng.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:i
fyounotcomi
ngwi
thme,
I'
m notgoi
ng.
.
Hesai
dki
ssi
ngmesof
tl
y.
.
Hi
m:si
mpl
east
hat
..
Me:
ohw.
..
Il
iter
all
yranoutofwordstosay.I
tsl
ikehehad
j
ustpushedmeacor nerandtherewasno
escapeplan.
Hel etmedownandpl acedmei nthestool
againwhi l
ehesatbesidesme.Weat ein
si
lence, well
Ididn'
tdomucheat i
ng,Imeanhow
couldIhav e?Ihaveaboy fr
iendwho's
emot ionalbl
ackmail
ingmei ntodoing
somet hingIdontwanttodo.Af tereati
nghe
actuallyoff
eredtowasht hedishes.Whilehe
di
dt hatIwentandt ookal ongdeservedbath.I
satinthebat ht
ubjusttry
ingtoputmymindat
ease.AfterthebathIwalkedoutofthe
bathroom withatowel wrappedar
oundmy
body.Hewasseat edont hebed,
busyonhi
s
phonebuti mmediatelyputitdownwhenhe
noti
cedmei ntheroom.
Hi
m:whatt
imedoesy
oupl
anedepar
t?
Me:
1530hr
s..
Hi
m:dr
essup,
Iwantt
otakey
ousomewher
e..
InoddedasIwentt ohiscl
oset,
woremyhi gh
waistjeans,wit
habl acksil
kyseethroughtop
thatIhadt uckedinwithwhiteAdidassuperst
ar.
Iletmybr aidslose.All
mydr essi
nguphewas
actual
lylookingatme. .
Hi
m:done?
Me:
yeah
Heputonawhi
teAmani
T-shi
rt
.Ir
eal
l
ydi
dfeel
i
nsecur
e..
Wewal
kedoutt
ohi
scar
.Moment
slat
erwe
weredr ivi
ngsomewher eIdi dn'tknow, Iwas
l
ookingout sidethr ought hewi ndow.Theway
Bandilealway smanagest okeephi sfami l
y
problemsf rom me, butt odayhewant stomeet
hisextendedf ami ly.Itjustdi dn'tbalanceandhe
hast oknowI 'm alsohumanandsomet imes
him shutti
ngmeouthur tsal ot.Thecarf i
nall
y
stopped.Wewer eatsomepl ace,andf rom
wher ehepar kedIcoul dseehor ses.Thi stook
mebackt owhenIwas14, dadhadt akenme
andAl exforahor ser ideandi tdidn'treall
yend
well.
Ifeltsi
ckaf tert hat,neverwant edt otryit
againev er,
Ididn'
tev enr ideal ongdi stance..
BecauseIwassoscar ed. .
Iwoul dhav eur i
nated
onmy self
.Ilookedathi m hopi ngandpr aying
thatsnotwhat '
saboutt ohappen.
Me:
wear
ehor
ser
idi
ng?
Hi
m:uhhy
eah.
.
Me:
I'
m notdoi
ngi
t.
.
Hi
m:wecan'
tbackoutnow,
weal
readyher
e..
Me:
Idontcar
eaboutt
hat
..
Isai
dI'
m notdoi
ngi
t.
.
Hi
m:wear
ereal
l
yinabadmode?
Me:
Ij
ustdontwantt
odoi
t
Hi
m:Kr
iswhat
'swr
ong?
Me:
not
hing.
.Idontl
i
kehor
ser
idi
ng.
.
Him:
soal
lthi
sjustbecausey
oudontl
i
kehor
se
r
idi
ng?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:I
'
m notst
upi
d
Ikeptqui
te.
.Di
dn'
thav
ether
ightwor
dst
osay
..
Hi
m:babei
fyoudonttel
lmewhat'
swronghow
ar
ewesupposedtohelpeachot
her
?
Me:Idontwantt
ogot
oyourf
ami
l
yreuni
on.
.
Thereiti
s..
Hi
m:why
?
Me:
becauseyouhavenevermademef
eel
part
ofy
ourfamil
y,soI
'
dr at
herhav
eitl
i
ket
hat
..
Hesi
ghedheav
il
y.
.
Him:Ij
ustdonotwanttoburdenyouwit
hmy
neverendingf
amil
yproblems.
.somet
imes
peoplel
eav et
hei
rrel
ati
onshi
psbecauseoft
oo
muchbur den.
.
Me:
butIl
ovey
ou.
.andI
'
m nev
ergoi
ngt
oleav
e
Hi
m:Iknow,
Il
ovey
out
oo
Hebri
efl
yownedmyl i
ps,
sucki
ngmyl
ower
l
ip,
sof
tl
ybit
ingi
tthenpul
ledout
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryok.
.
Inodded
Hi
m:canwenowgo
Me:
no,I'
m ser
ious.
.Idontl
i
ker
idi
ng,
itmakes
mesick.
.
Thesentencefel
londeafearsashewas
al
readyoutofthecartomyside,hewast op
qui
ckthatbythetimeIthoughtoflocki
ngthe
doorshehadalreadyopenedmydoor .
Hi
m:wecandothi
stheni
cewayort
hehar
d
way.
.y
ouchose
Me:
Ndi
l
eyoudontunder
stand.
.
Hi
m:becauseIdontwantt
ounder
stand
Me:babe.
.myl
ove.
.sweet
hear
t.
.YouknowIl
ove
yousomuch..
Him:andIlovey
outoo.
.somuch,
moret
han
anyt
hinginthewor
ld.
.Nowlet
'sgo
Hepi ckedmefrom thecarandplacedmeon
hi
sshoul derl
i
keIwasadr yAutumnl eaf
.His
handwentt omyassandsqueezedmaki ngme
squir
m andgiggle.Wewalkedclosetothe
horsesandstoppedatsomeguy ..
Hi
m:Bandi
l
e
Ndi
l
e:MrOl
i
mpi
a..
Hi
m:Iseey
ouhav
ebr
oughtcompany
Ndi
l
e:y
es
Heputmedown
Ndil
e:t
hisi
smygirl
fr
iend,
Kri
s,
andKr
isbabe
t
hisisMrOli
mpi
a..Theowner
Me:
nicet
omeety
ouSi
r
Hi
m:l
i
kewi
sey
oungLady
..Come
Hesai
dmot
ioni
ngust
osomehor
se.
Wewalkedupt
oit,i
thadt
hatbr
owni
shcol
our
andbi
gsotosay.
Hi
m:t
hisi
shi
m
Ndi
l
e:he'
singoodshape?
Hi
m:y
es.
.f
itandheal
th
Ndi
l
e:excel
l
ent
..
MrOlimpiar
eleasedt
hehor seandwalkedi
t
outsi
detosomeopenf i
eld.Ndil
ehel
dmeby
handandwewal kedbehi
ndhi m..
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Him:
babe,
thi
swi
l
lbef
un.
.bel
i
evemepl
usIwi
l
l
bewit
hyou
Hesai
dki
ssingmyforeheadbutt
hatdi
dn'
t
makemefeelbet
ter
..
Moment slat
erBandi
lewashelpi
ngmegeton
thehorse,
anditst
art
edmoving..
Iwasal
ready
shaki
ng..
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Ndi
le:
wear
ehol
dinghi
m babe,
dontwor
ry.
.j
ust
br
eath
Me:
pleasel
et'
sgohome.
.
Ndi
l
e:Iboughtt
hisf
ory
ou
Me:
youcanr
etur
nit
..
Helaughed,Idi
dn'
tknowwassoamusi
ng
aboutthi
s..
Aft
erawhil
e,
hehoopedbehi
ndme.Icoul
d
fi
nal
lybr
eat
hnowhewaswi thme.
.
Hi
m:r
elax,
I
'm her
enow.
.
Isi
ghed.
.
Thehor
sest
art
edmov
ingsl
owl
y,
creat
inga
di
stancebet
weenusandMrOl
i
mpi
a.
Me:
pleasedontmakei
trun.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.
Wemov edslowlybutthehor sewasincr
easi
ng
i
tspacefrom t
hemi nute.IknewitwasBandi
le
cont
rol
li
ngitwit
hther ope..
Me:
Bandi
l
e!
Iwar
ned.
.
Hej ustchuckl
edandbef oreIknow it,
i
twas
runningfast.
.makingmecl osemyey esti
ghtl
y
hopingI'dwakeupf rom thenight
mare.Bythe
ti
mewewer ebackatMrOl impiaIwasjust
numb.Hegotof f,
thenhelpedmeof fbuthewas
welcomedbyv omitthatspil
ledal
loverhi
sshirt
.
HeputmedownasIcoughedandhet ookoff
hisT-shir
t.
MrOl
i
mpiagav
emeabot
tl
eofwat
ert
ori
nse
mymout
h.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
.
Ndi
l
e:wel
lthatwentwel
l
..
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:no,
i
tsok.
.
Heki
ssedme.
.
Him:Isti
l
llov
eyouandwewi
l
ldef
inat
lycome
back..
Me:
youal
one.
.
Wewal
kedbackt
othecar
..
Hi
m:wewi
l
lpassbyt
heshops.
.
Me:
andy
ouwi
l
lbel
i
ket
hat
?
Hi
m:l
i
kewhat
?
Me:
shi
rt
less.
.
Hi
m:y
oucan'
tpossi
blywantmet
oweara.
.-
Me:
Itol
dyounott
orunt
hehor
se.
.
Him:
okfi
neI'
m sor
ry.
.Youwi l
lgeti
ntheshop
andIwi
l
lstayi
nthecar.
.happy?
Me:
dowhaty
ouwant
..
Hi
m:y
ouar
esocut
e..
Bythenweweredr
ivi
ngbackhome.
.He
st
oppedbysomeshopsandgavemehi
scar
d.
Hi
m:aT-
shi
rtpl
ease.
.
Me:
ok
Igotoffthecarandwentinsi
detheshops.I
browsedt hr
oughunt
ilIboughtaj
ustplai
n
whiteT-shir
t.
Me:
youcanweart
his.
.
Hel
aughed.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:not
hing
Igav
ehi
mtheT-
shi
rtIbought
..
Hewor eitandweresumedourjourney
home, t
hesingTakecarej
ustonplayi
nginhis
car.Whenwegott ohishouseal
lIwanted
basical
lywasjustt
osleepbutt
henIhada
planetocatch.WefoundLeah'
scarparkedat
t
hegat
eandshedr
ovei
nwhenwedi
d.
Her
:hey
Shesaidhuggi
ngme,Bandi
l
eki
ssedmycheek
thengoti
nthehouse.
Me:
hi
Her
:JesusI
'
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou
Me:
met
oo.
.how'
sQ?
Her
:wegood.
.weget
ti
ngt
her
e
Me:
that
sni
ce.
.sowhenar
eyougoi
ng?
Her
:ummh.
..
I'
m nol
ongergoi
ng
Me:
why
?
Her
:Ihav
eot
herpl
ans
Me:
wit
hQ?
Sheshy
lynodded.
.
Me:
ok
Her
:yeahbutIt
oldmypar
ent
sIwi
l
lbewor
king
Me:
goodgoi
ng
Her
:pl
easecov
erf
ormei
ncaseneeded.
.
Me:
ok
Shehuggedme.
.
Her
:soBandi
l
e..
Me:
no.
.wenotdi
scussi
ngmyman
Her
:comeon
Me:
no.
.
Her
:Kr
is.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
*
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lyouok.
.
Me:
ok,
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oobabe
Hi
sphonevi
brat
edandhet
ooki
toutand
si
l
encedi
t.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcomeov
er
Me:
ok.
.
Hepull
edmetohi
m andcl
aimedmyl
i
ps.Af
ter
awhil
ehepul
l
edout.
.
Me:
bye
Isai
dwal
ki
ngawayf
rom hi
m..
Wewer eatt heair
portandmypl anehadj ust
beencalledout.
.It
urnedtoseehi m andhewas
sti
ll
inthatposit
ion.Ismil
edturningawayf rom
him.Ihadcommuni cat
edwithTshepi e,
Dylan
andBK, t
heywerecomi ngontomor rowandas
forAntony.
.hewasn'tcoming.
..
Getti
ngi nt heplaneIsatdownal r
eadymi ssing
him,Imeanf orthepast3weekswehav ebeen
together24/ 7andnowi tsgoingtobeso
diff
erent.Immedi atel
ywhent heplanetookof fI
stuckinmyearphonesandj ustli
stenedto
musi ctakingmeaway .WhenIar r
ivedexcitedly
Igotof ftheplane.Icouldn'
twaittoseemom
andAl ex.Ar r
ivi
ngatthewaitingareaIswearI
gotpar al
y zed.Hewalkedupt omeandt ookmy
bags.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
Sam
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t39
KRI
S
.
Il
ookedathim,andhewasther
e..
myown
brot
herwho'
snotr eal
l
ymyfavour
iteperson
ri
ghtnowstandingbefor
eme.Hesmi l
ed..
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.
Me:
Sam
Hethenhuggedme,andIcoul
dn'tr
esi
st,
I
missedhi
m..Imi
ssedtherel
ati
onshi
pwe've
al
way
shad.
.ourdayt
odayt
alks.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
wasIugl
ybef
ore?
Hi
m:Idontwanty
out
ocr
y..
Ichuckl
e..
Me:
me?
cry
?pl
ease.
.
Him:
youknowyoulovecr
ying.
.Fr
om young
age.
.r
ememberthatt
imewithChar
li
ze.
.
Ilaughed.
..
Charl
i
zewasourneighbourwhenI
was10, t
obehonestthatgir
lwasabull
y.
.We
thenmov ed,l
eavi
ngher.
.Iwasrat
hergl
ad
becauseshealwaysmanagedt omakemecry.
.
Me:
mxm.
.shewasabul
l
y..
Hi
m:Isawheryest
erday.
.Shesreall
y
gr
own..
andshebeauti
fulasfuck!
Me:shesal
way
sbeen,
any
waywhendi
dyou
ar
ri
v eher
e?
Hi
m:l
et'
stal
kandwal
k..
Het
ookmybagandwest
art
edwal
ki
ngoutof
t
heai
rpor
ttohi
scar
.
Him:Iar
ri
vedafewweeksago..
Ineedsome
ti
mewi t
hmyf ami
ly
..That
stheonlysafepl
ace
Iknow..
Me:yeah.
.homei
sal
way
sthesaf
estpl
acet
her
e
i
s..
Hi
m:how'
sschool
?
Me:
good.
.I
'
m ont
opofi
t.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
sthespi
ri
t.
.
Me:
Iwi
shIcamewi
thmycar
..
Hel
aughed.
.
Him:t
hankGodIbroughtmi
ne..
yourmot
heri
s
ver
ystingywheni
tcomestothatBMW..
Me:
tel
lmeabouti
t.
.
Him:
yeah.
.butany
waysoy
ouknow.
.wear
e
goi
ngtoMochudi
Me:
fuck!
Uncl
eKgot
so?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.i
tsf
uckedup.
.
Me:
howmanyday
sther
e?
Hi
m:af
ew.
.
Me:
l
et'
srunaway
..
Hi
m:goodpl
an
Welaughed,
itf
eltgoodt obelaughi
ngand
t
alki
ngtohimli
kethis.
.l
iketheusual
.
Hi
m:how'
syourboy
fri
end?
If
roze,
thenl
ookedathi
m..
Me:
good.
.he'
sgood
Wegotinsi
det
hecarandhest
art
eddr
ivi
ng
home.
Hi
m:i
she?
Il
ookedathim again,
hopi
ngthisi
snotan
ar
gumentarisi
ng..Iwashappy
..Wewerehappy
afewminutesago..
Me:
Sam.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m notf
ight
ing.
.I'
m genui
nel
yaski
ng
Me:
he'
sok.
.
Hi
m:weusedt
obef
ri
ends.
.
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:y
ourboy
fri
endandI
..
weusedt
obef
ri
ends.
.
Me:
unt
ilhi
sexf
iancé.
.Gi
rl
fr
iend?
Hi
m:Ican'tr
eall
ysay .
.I
'm notsaintbutIcan
j
usti
fyt
hewhol ethingwithNi cky.
.Idi
dn'
tjust
sl
eepwithNickyjustforthesakeofi t
..
Nicky
wasneverhistobeginwi th.
.
Me:
whatdoy
oumean?
Hi
m:Isawherf
ir
st.
.Shewasmy
..
Me:
ex?
Him:y
eah..
youcanputitl
i
kethat.
.butIdi
dn'
t
carewhathappensaft
erwecall
editquit
sunti
lI
sawherwithBandil
e
Me:
didheknowshewasy
ourEx?
Hi
m:yeah.
.l
ookal
lI'
mtry
ingtosayi
s..
I'
m nota
monstery
ourboy
fri
endport
ray
smet obe..
Me:
henev
ert
alksabouty
ou
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:doesn'
thenow?
Me:
yeahonl
yhehat
esy
ou
Him: Idon'tknowKr is,butIhavear easonto
hat ehim..i
tsnotallbecauseofsomebr ood.
.no
al otofshitwentdown. .andI'
m goingto
toleratehimj ustbecauseofy ou..I
'
m nothappy
youar edat i
ngmyenemy .
.Butfory ou.
.I
'm
goi ngtomakepeacewi t
hitbutjustknowIdont
l
ikehi m..andIwon' tstartanymoment .
.Ihate
him, evenmor enow. .becausehewentf ormy
sister.
.
He'
svoi
cewasabi
tstr
ainedbuteachwor
dhe
sai
dhungi
nmyhear
t.
.
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:i
tsal
lfory
ou.
.
Bythenhewaspul
li
ngi
nsideouryar
d,home
sweethome.
.Imi
ssedt
hisplace.
Me:
Imi
ssedt
his.
.
Hi
m:i
tsgoodt
obehome.
.
Hest
eppedoutoft
hecargoi
ngt
otheboot
,and
t
aki
ngmybag..
Ashedidthatmyphoner ang,
hewasal
ready
cal
l
ing.Qui
cklyIanswer
ed.
Hi
m:babe
Me:
hey
,Ihav
ejustar
ri
vedathome.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
sgr
eatbabe,
Imi
ssy
ou.
.
Me:
met
oo,
Sam i
sher
e..
Hi
m:ohw.
.Ist
hatagoodt
hing?
Me:yougoi
ngtohavetoputwhatev
erbeefy
ou
hav
ewi t
hhim asi
de,
he'
smybrother
Him:
Ineversai
dhewasn'
t.
.andmi
ndy
ou.
.Ihav
e
puti
tasi
deforsometi
menow
Me:
good,
Imi
ssy
ou
Hi
m:Imissy
out
oo,
I'
m goi
ngoutwi
thmyboy
s
t
oni
ght.
.
Me:
ohw.
.besaf
e
Hi
m:I
'
m al
way
ssaf
e
Me:
ok,
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo
ThenIhungup.Sam wasalr
eadyinsi
det
he
houseandAlexwasstandi
ngbythe
door,
gri
nni
ng..
Ist
eppedoutoft
hecar
,andwal
kedt
owar
dsher
.
Her
:Kr
is
Shehuggedme,
abi
tmor
eti
ght
ly.
.
Me:
okImi
ssedy
out
oo
Isai
dpushi
ngheraway
..
shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:I
'm gl
ady
ouar
eher
e
Me:
i
sit
?
Her
:i
tis,
comeoni
n..
Il
aughed,t
hewayshesaidi
tseemedlikeI
'ma
fi
rstt
imeguest
.ThemomentIgotinsi
dethe
houseIwaswelcomedbyati
ghthugfrom
mom. .
God.
.Imi
ssedthi
ssoul
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Her:
I'
m sorr
y..
Ireal
l
yI'
m..
please.
.pl
ease.
.I'
m
beggi
ngy ou
Me:l
ookI
'minthemiddl
eofsomethi
ngandhow
ar
etheyevenl
ett
ingyoutal
ktome?
Her:
pleasedontdot
hist
ome.
.i
twasal
l
Sam..
Sam
Me:
Sam pl
annedhi
ssi
ster
'sr
ape?
Her:
no,
buthet
oldmet
odoany
thi
ngt
ogety
ou
back
Me:
Sam?
Her:
mhhm.
.he.
..
hedoesn'
twanty
ouwi
thhi
s
si
ster
..
Me:
hmm
Her:
Bandi
leplease..I
'
m dyi
ng.
.I'
m goi
ngt
odi
e,I
dontwanttodie.
.don'
tki
ll
me
Me:
Nicol
e..
Her
:Ihaveasister,
whodependsonme,
a
f
amily.
.I'
m beggingyou
Me:onl
yonelastti
me,nextt
ime.
.maybeyou
shoul
dstar
tprepari
ngyourownfuneral
AndIhangedup. .ThewayIwasangr ythat
moment ..Foraguywhocl ai
mst olovehis
sist
erthi
swasj usttomuch.Wi t
houthesitati
on
Icall
edhim..Maxhadinformedmeaweekago
thatSam iswit
hhismot her,
probablytokeep
safebecausethere'
snowayTay l
orwoul dever
hurtKri
s'
smot herbecauseSam isherson. .
only
son.
Hi
m:Samuel
hel
l
o?
Me:soyouputyoursi
ster
'sl
i
fei
ndangerj
ust
becauseyouhat
eme
Hi
m:ohw,
whatani
cesur
pri
sebr
otheri
nlaw.
.
Me:nowIhav
etoadmi
t,
you'
ver
eal
l
ymademe
angry
Him:
hav
eI?
Ial
way
sthoughty
ouwer
eal
way
s
angr
y
Me:
I'
m gonnagety
ou
Hi
m:l
et'
sseehowKr
isf
eel
saboutt
hat
..
Kri
s!
Hecal
l
edout
..
Him:may beit
sti
mesheknowswhoyoureal
ly
are.
.youtel
lher,
Idontwantt
obet
heoneto
burstherli
tt
lebubbl
e..
Ichuckl
ed
Me:I
'
m nott heonewho'
sgoingtohaveasist
er
whohatesmef orev
er.
.I'
m notKr
is'
srel
ati
ve
j
ustboyfr
iend
Hi
m:y
oul
oveherandshe'
smysi
ster
,yougonna
havet odealwithit
..
I'
mtryi
ngt otol
erat
ey our
ass,
andwhatt hefuckdoyoumeanI 'm putt
ing
mysi ster
slifeondanger
?Letmet el
lyouwhat '
s
putt
ingherl i
feindanger
..
it
sy ou!
herbeingwi t
h
youexposeshert oawhol elotofshi
tyou
alwaysattract.
.
Ihear
dhersmal
lvoi
ceatt
hebackgr
ound.
.
Her
:huh?
Sam:ahhy
ourboyfr
iendthinksIhaveal
ready
ki
ll
edyou.
.Appar
entlyI
'm dangertoyou
Igotabi
tdi
sturbedbyacoupl
eofgi
rl
spassi
ng
by,
Ihadt
oshiftfr
om t
hei
rway.
Her
:hel
l
o?
Me:
Ithi
nkI
'
m goi
ngt
oki
l
lyourbr
other
..
Her
:what
'st
hatnoi
se?
Me:
I'
m out
,wi
tht
heboy
s
Her:
cany
ouguy
sgetov
erwhat
every
ouf
ight
about
?
Sof
tl
yshesai
dwi
thhert
inyv
oice,
Imi
ssedher
Sam:
i
tsy
ourboy
fri
end
AndnowI'mr
eal
l
ygoi
ngt
osnapHi
sthr
oat
!I
hungup.
Iwal
kedi
ntot
hebarandj
oinedQandJay
..
Q:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Me:
yeah
Jay
:wher
e'sy
oursupposedl
ywi
fe?
Me:
wentt
oherhol
i
day
..
Q:
sucksbei
ngy
ou
Me:
compl
etel
y.
.Iwi
shshewasn'
tSam'
ssi
ster
..
Jayl
aughed
Jay:
probabl
yhe'
sthi
nki
ngy
ouar
eusi
nghi
s
si
stertogett
ohim
Q:obv
iousl
y,t
obehonesti
fIwasSam.
.Iwoul
d
havelongki
ll
edy
ou..
Me:
mxm.
.
Somecoupl
eofhal
fnakedgi
rl
spassed
us,
giggl
i
ng.
.
Jay
:theyar
ehot
Q:It
houghty
ouhadsomeone.
.what
'
shername
agai
n?Jessi
ca?
Me:
Jasmi
ne.
.
Q:
yeahJasmi
ne.
.
Jay
:shesnother
e,y
ourgir
lf
ri
endQ,sheai
n'
t
her
e..Yourwi
feAndil
e,i
snother
e
Q:y
ouknowhowKr i
slov
estr
ippi
ng.
.Shewoul
d
dumphimjustf
ordanci
ngwi
thsomebrood.
.
Theyl
aughed.
.
Jay:
thi
sgir
lseemst
ohav
eyouwr
appedar
ound
herf
inger
..
Q:
shehas.
.t
hisni
ggai
sgoi
ngnut
sov
erami
xed
r
ace
Jay
:rel
ax,
shesnother
e..
Hest
oodupandwentf
ort
hosegi
rl
s..
Q:
yougood?
Me:
wheni
sTay
lorgoi
ngt
ofi
ndout
?
.
KRI
S
.
Me:
whatwast
hat
?
Sam:
wemaki
ngpr
ogr
ess
Me:
Sam!
Sam:
I'
mti
redIwantt
osl
eep.
.cany
oupl
ease
l
eave
Me:I
'
m notgoi
nganywher
eunt
ily
out
ell
me
whatexact
lyi
syourpr
obl
em
Sam:Mma!y
ourboyfri
endistheonewhocall
ed
menottheotherwayround.
.nowpleasel
eave
astogi
vemet imetoescapegoingtoMochudi
..
Iwalkedoutofhi
sroom,somet hi
ngwas
defi
natl
yupbutthenIcouldn'
taskBandi
l
e..I
dontwanttobeaPr i
ckygirl
fr
iend.
.
Iwenttomyr
oom andIf
oundmom seat
edby
thebed.
Me:
Mom
Her
:comeseat
..
Iwal
kedupt
oherandsatbesi
desher
.
Her
:howol
dar
eyou?
Me:
18goi
ngt
o19i
nAugust10
Her
:ar
eyouhav
ingsex?
Mymout hdr
oppedopen,360°open..
Ithentook
adeepbreat
h,t
ryi
ngtost
eadymybeat i
ngfast
hear
t.Theai
rjustgr
ewthickal
laroundme..
Me:
noI
'
m not
..
Her
:noy
ounot
?
Me:
yes,
I
'm not
..
ShelookedatmebutIcoul
dn'
treal
l
yreadher
faci
alexpr
essi
on.
.
Her
:Iknowy
ouar
ely
ing.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:br
eat
h
Idi
dn'
treal
izeIhadbeenhol
dingmybr
eat
hti
l
l
shesai
dit.
.
Her:Iknowy ouar e,Ij
ustwanty outobecar eful
.
.
Beingpr egnantatsuchy oungagei sjustan
unwant edimpl i
cati
on, somet hi
ngy oudontwant
togot hrough..Beingpr egnantatyoungagei sa
setback, y
ouar ealway sgoingtohav eachi l
dto
wor r
yabout .
.Idontknowt heintent
ionsthat
tat
tooedboyhaswi t
hy oubutbecar eful
..
Ikeptmysi
l
ence,
Alext
henwal
kedi
nsi
det
he
room.
Mom:knowthaty
ouar
eherrolemodel
..
leadby
exampl
eKri
sti
nThompson.
..
Shet
henst
oodupandl
eft
..
Al
ex:
and?
Mr
:ar
eyouhav
ingsex
?
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:no
Me:
good,
youar
etooy
oungf
orsex.
.
Her
:howmanyy
ear
sam Iagai
n?
Il
aughed.
.Shej
oinedmeonmybed.
Her
:Imi
ssedy
ou.
.
Me:
met
oo,
how'
sschool
?
Her
:i
tsal
lgood.
.y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:
sodoyou.
.weshoul
dgot
othemal
l
t
omorr
ow
Her
:Mochudi
Me:
yeah
Her
:yeahbuti
nthebr
ight
ersi
deSam i
scomi
ng
Me:
yeah,
youmustbehappy
..
Her
:Iam.
.how'
stat
tooedboy
?
Il
aughed.
.
Her
:ev
ersi
ncemom sawhi
m,he'
snewnamei
s
t
att
ooedboy
Me:
wel
ltat
tooedboyi
sok
Her
:ai
iI'
drat
hersayRomeo.
.andy
ouar
eJul
i
et.
.
Me:
fuckof
f!
Her
:Iwi
shy
oucanst
ayher
efor
ever
..
Me:
Ial
sowi
shf
oracoupl
eoft
hingst
oo.
.
Her
:obv
iousl
y.
.
Wet al
kedti
llshefell
asleepbutIcoul
dn'
t
sl
eep,Iwasjustsl
eepless.Il
oggedinon
Facebook,t
herewasn'tmuchhappening.
.SoI
deci
dedtocal l
Ndile.
.
Hisphonerangunanswer
ed,andIguesshe
wassleepi
ng.Itr
iedonel
astti
me,andthi
sti
me
heanswered..
Me:
babe.
.
Iwhi
sper
edt
ryi
ngnott
omaki
ngnoi
se
Hi
m:shoul
dn'
tyoubesl
eepi
ng?
Igi
ggl
ed.
.
Me:
Ican'
tsl
eep.
.
Icoul
dhearnoi
seathi
sbackgr
ound.
Me:
arey
oust
il
lwi
thy
ourboy
s?
Iaskedchecki
ngtheti
me..I
twasar
ound
0210a.m.
.i
twasreall
ylat
e
Hi
m:y
eah
Iheardsomefemalegi
ggl
i
ng..Cal
lmei nsecure
orwhatbutt
hatwasenoughtoparaly
semef or
l
ife.
.Myheartst
art
edbeat
ingfast
..
Hi
m:wear
eatsomecl
ub.
.
Me:
ohw
Hi
m:andI
'
m notf
li
rt
ingwi
thany
one.
.
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:babet
alkt
ome
Me:
ok.
.Idi
dn'
tsayy
ouwer
efl
i
rti
ng.
.
Hi
m:Iknowbutsomet
imesy
ouar
eabi
t
i
nsecur
e..
Ok,
thathur
t.
.i
treal
l
ydi
d..I
'
minsecur
e?
Me:ummhletmenotdi
stur
byou,
I
'mf
eel
i
nga
bi
tdrowsynow.
.
Hi
m:ar
eweok?
Me:
yeah.
.j
ustt
ir
ed.
.t
hef
li
ghtandst
uff
..
Hi
m:y
ouj
ustsoundabi
tof
f.
.
Me:
ohw,
itsAlex
,she'
sbesi
desme..Idontwant
t
omakeher.
.ummhuncomf or
tabl
e..
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.
.by
e
Andimmedi at
elyIhungupandswi tchedmy
phoneoff.Ijustfeltanover
whel medf eel
i
ng
andIcouldn'tfigur
eoutwhybecauseIknowI '
m
i
nsecure.
.May beitwasbecausehe' snotat
homey et
..Itookadeepbr eathandcl osedmy
eyes.Mybr aindartedovert
hei nsecuri
tyi
ssue
overandov eragainbeforeIsleptandwor ki
ng
up,Ihadat hrobbi ngheadache.Igr oanedasI
openedmyey es,myv ersionwasabi tblursoI
blinkedacoupl eoft i
mesbef oreIcoul dseea
bitclearly.Looki ngov ermysi de,Al
exwast her e
sleepingpeacef ullybesi desme. .Igotof fthe
bedandwentt ot hebat hroom wi thmyt oi
letr
y
bag.It ookashowert henwentbackt omy
room.Ichangedi ntomyt rainingwear .The
headachecoul dn'tleav esoIdr ankthemi graine
pill
st hent ookAl ex '
sipod. afterthatIwent
downst air
s, tookabot tl
eofwat er,
unl
ockedt he
door sandof fIwasgone.Af ter30mi nutes
roughl yofr unni ngIwast ir
edsoIsatdownasI
tri
edt ogetmybr eathingt ogobackt ot he
nor mal rate.Ilistenedt owhat everthatwas
play i
ng.Ihadt heur get ocal lBandi l
et ojust
checki fhe' sokornotbutt henIdi dn'twantt o
seem soi nsecur e..Afterawhi l
eIstarted
wal ki
ngbackhome, t
heheadachehadst opped.
Arr i
vi
nghome, If oundSam i ntheki t
chen,
drinkingmi lkst r
ai ghtfrom t hebot tl
e..
Me:
ain'
tther
enocupsnt
hishouse.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.ar
eyouok?
Me:
mhhm.
.sowhat
'sy
ourpl
an?
Hi
m:ohwel
lI'
m goi
ngt
oseeThaps.
.
Me:
canIcomewi
th?
Hi
m:mmai
twi
l
lbeboy
sonl
y.
.
Me:Ir
eal
lydontwantt
ogot oMochudi
.
.Inf
actI
dontwantt
ogoany wher
e..
Hi
m:why
?
Ij
ustshookmyhead.
.
Hi
m:ai
igoodl
uck
Hesaidstandi
ngupandwalkingout.Isi
ghed
asIwalkedbacktomyroom..Alexwasn'ti
n
bednow..shewasn'
ti
ntheroom..
Iwalkedovertomysui t
casewhichIhadn'
t
unpackedyet,
thentookouttheclot
hesIwas
goingtowhere..AsIputmyclothesonthe
bed,t
hedoorswungopen. .
mom emer ged
Her
:gobat
hKr
is,
weneedt
ogo
Me:
ok.
.
Shethenwalkedout..Al
exwal kedin
i
mmedi at
elyaftermom l
eft.
.shewasdr essedi
n
akneeheightbodyhuggingdress,conv
ersewit
h
asummert ranspar
entJersey.
Me:
youl
ookni
ce.
.
Shel
aughed
Her:
thanks.
.Iwantt
obeher
ewhenTshepi
e
ar
ri
ves
Me:
l
ol.
.It
hinkwear
esl
eepi
ngov
er.
.
Her
:t
hat
swher
eyoucomei
n..
Me:
andwhatam Isupposedt
odo?
Her
:t
ell
mom,
thatweshoul
dcomeback.
.
Me:
shewi
l
lref
usey
ouknowt
hat
..
.
Shet
hrewher
sel
font
hebed.
.
Me:
youwi
l
lseehi
mtomor
row.
.
Her
:Iwantt
oday
..
Me:
aii
sui
tyour
sel
f
45mi
nut
esl
ater
,wewer
elocki
ngt
hedoor
s.
Mom:
l
et'
sgogi
rl
s..
Al
ex:
Sam?
Mom:
hehadaj
obi
nter
viewt
ogot
o..
Ialmostbur sti
ntolaught er,tr
ustSam tocook
upthi ski
ndofl i
e..Wegoti nsi
dethecar ,
Isatat
thebackseat .Mom dr ivetoMochudi ,sil
ence
hadj ustfi
l
ledthecar..Istil
lhadAlex'
siPodwi th
me, andIwasj ustli
steningt oherplay
list
i
gnor ingeveryt
hingelse.
*
***
***
***
***
***
Him:ahhLerat
o,weshouldstartexpect
ing
BogadiforLet
lhogonol
o..Shesgrownintoabi
g
gi
rl
..
Uncl
eKgotsosaidoncewehadset
tl
eddownin
hi
shouse.Let
lhogonol
oismyot
hernamethatI
l
oat
hewi
thal
lmyhear
t,
Ihat
ethatname.
Mom:
obuannet
e(y
out
ell
i
ngt
het
rut
h)
Me:
nyaaBat
hong.
.(no)Letl
hogonol
oke
mang?(
who'
sLetl
hogonolo)
Theyl
aughed.
.
Me:
gaker
ati
.
.l
asemol
aaker
e(y
ouar
est
art
ing)
Uncl
e:ehhsor
rymma.
.That
oist
haty
ou?
Al
ex:
i
nfl
esh.
.
Uncl
e:hehenyaaLer
ato.
.ogodi
setsebanaba
sent
le,
rel
ebogamodimo(youhaverai
sedthi
s
ki
dswel l
,
wethankGod)
Mom:
yes,
wher
eisWame?
Uncl
e:ai
iyouknowmywi
fenev
erseat
sdown.
.
Wel
aughed.
.
Uncl
e:I
'm sohappyy
ouhav
ebr
oughtt
heki
ds
Ler
ato.
.
Mom:
soam I
..
Lat
erthateveni
ngIwashel
pingUncl
eK'
s
wif
e,Wame,cookdi
nner
.
Her:
thel
astt
imeIsawy
ou,
youwer
eThat
o's
age.
.
Il
aughed
Me:
i
tsbeent
ime.
.
Her
:yes,
how'
suni
ver
sit
y?
Me:
i
tsgood,
okaeLar
ona?
(wher
e'sLar
ona?
)
Lar
onai
sthei
ronl
ychi
l
d..
Her
:she'
swi
thmymom.
.wal
api
sa(
shest
ir
ing)
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
that
swhyIdontwantt
ohav
eKi
ds.
.
Her
:so?
Me:
so?
Her
:doy
ouhav
eaboy
fri
end?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:youhav
eri
ght
?
Me:
Idont
..
Her:
youmot
hert
oldme,gat
weoj
olal
e
basi
manebadit
atoo.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
i
jo.
..
real
l
y?Thi
sisv
eryi
nter
est
ing
.
BANDI
LE
.
Her:deal
is,
Ibr
ingmysist
ert
oy ou,
butyouhav
e
totakemebackt oGabor
onethenbri
ngme
back..
Il
aughed,
shewasr
eal
l
ysmar
t.
Me:
soy
ouwantt
osneak?
Her
:andy
ouwantt
oseemysi
ster
..
fai
rdeal
.
.
Me:
ummmh.
.Ok
Her
:wai
tatshopr
ight
..
wewi
l
lbet
her
e..
Me:
ok,
don'
tgeti
ntot
roubl
e
Her
:t
roubl
eismyl
astname,
Kri
sdi
dn'
ttel
lyou?
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
no.
.
Her
:20mi
nut
es,
wewi
l
lbet
her
e
Shet
henhungup,
assoonasshehungupacal
l
fr
om Qgoti
n..
Me:
yeah?
Hi
m:Idontknowwhatt
osayany
mor
e..
Me:
dontsayany
thi
ng.
.
Hi
m:justbecauseshedidn'
ttal
ktoyout
he
whol
eday ,
youhadtoflyther
e..
pussymustbe
r
ealgood..
Me:
shedr
ivesmenut
s!wi
thoutev
ent
ryi
ng
Hi
m:hav
eyouseenhery
et?
Me:notyet
,I
'
m wait
ingforher
,hadt
ost
ri
kea
dealwit
htheyoungsist
er
Hel
aughed.
.
Him:
ahh..t
hisgir
lisr
eal
lydri
vingy
ouinsane.
.
Soonenoughy ouwil
lbelockedupinamental
home.
.Ithi
nksheneedsagoodhar dfucki
ng
Me:
Icoul
dn'
tagr
eemor
e..
Hi
m:soNi
col
e
Me:r
eleaseherbutt
ell
Senzeni
tokeepav
ery
cl
oseey eonher.
Hi
m:okMrKr
ist
inMacv
erdana
Me:
Voet
sek!
Helaughedbeforehangingup..Idrovear ound
unt
ilIf
oundt heShopri
teshewast alkingabout .
.
Aft
erawhi l
eIheardaknockont hewi ndow,it
wasnowr eall
ydark.Ir
olledt
hewi ndowandi t
wasAlex..
alongsi
dewi t
hKr i
s,whodi dn'tlook
muchpleased.Igotoffthecar.
.
Kr
is:
andt
hen?
Shesai
dlooki
ngatAl
ex,
whowasl
ooki
ngatme
wi
tht
he"
I-
hel
ped-
you-
now-
it
s-y
our
-t
urn"l
ook.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
08]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t40
KRI
S
.
.
IknowAlexi ssneakybutt
odayIsweartoGodI
giv
emysi steramedal.20mi nut
esagoshehad
cametomet ell
i
ngmeshesonherper i
odsbut
shedoesn'thavesanit
arypadswithher
.
"
IneedpadsKr
is"shehadwhi
sper
edt
ome.
"UmmhIdonthave"Ir
epli
ednowst
ressed
aboutmyownsist
er,i
fonl
yIknew.
"
Let
'sgobuy
"shesuggest
ed.
.
Imustsay
,she'
ssmar
t.
Sonow,hereIam..l
ooki
ngatmyownsi st
eras
hereyesroam ar
oundallov
erbutshehadher
fi
ngerpoi
ntedatBandil
ewhowast ry
ingso
hardtoswall
owhislaugh.
Hi
m:pl
easedontbemadaty
oursi
ster
..I
tsme
Me:
Alexandr
a?
Al
ex:
Ireal
l
yneedt
hepads.
.
Shesaidwal
kingaway..
leav
ingmewit
hBandi
l
e,
ImustsayIwassurpr
isedtoseehi
m
her
e..
.t
oday.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:yourphonewasn'
tgoi
ngi
n,
eversi
ncel
ast
ni
ght
Me:
ohh.
.If
orgott
oswi
tchi
ton.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyoumad?
Il
ookedathi
m,washeher
ebecauseoft
hat
?I
stoppedbreathi
ngmomentaril
y.
.myhear
t
getti
ngheavierwit
heachsecond.
.f
uckit
,how
canIdothist ohi
m..
Me:
arey
ouher
ebecausei
m..
.Mad?
Hi
m:soy
ouar
emad?
Me:
GodNdi
l
e..
I'
m..
Heclosedthespacebetweenus,
Iwas
speechl
ess,butt
ouched.
Hi
m:Ihatei
twheny ouar
emad,
wheny
ounot
t
alki
ngtome..
it
..Fr
eaksmeout
Il
ookedathi
m,GodknowsIl
ovehi
m..
Ilov
ehi
m
somuch
Me:I
'
m sor
ryyouhavetodeal
wit
hmy
someti
meschil
dishass.
.
Hi
m:somet
imes?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ok,
myal
way
schi
l
dishass.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ourchi
l
dishass,
i
t'
sfat
..
Hesai
dbr
ingi
ngmemuchcl
osert
ohi
m..
Me:Bandi
let
hisisnotJohannesburg,
youcan'
t
j
usttouchmelikethi
s..I
tsdi
srespect
ful
Isaidt
ryi
ngtowiggl
ehi
m of
fonl
yforhi
mto
holdmetight
er.
Hi
m:whywi
l
ltheybel
ooki
ngatus?
Me:becauset
heyar
efr
eet
odoso,
Bandi
l
elet
go.
.
Him:
no,matteroffactI
'
m goi
ngt
oki
ss
you.
.r
ightnow,r
ighther
e
Hesaidcl
aimi
ngmyl i
pswit
houtgi
vi
ngmea
chancet
oprot
est
.Icoul
dfeeley
esonus.
.
Igr
oanedpul
l
ingout
..
Me:
babe.
.
Hi
m:al
lthewayher
etogetpushedaway
?
Me:
l
ifehasnev
erbeenf
air
..
Bef
orehecoul
drespond,
Ihear
dsomeone
scr
eam myname.
"
Let
lhogonol
o?"
IturnedanditwasLulu.
.She'
salwaysbeenmy
fri
endthissi
de..
ever
ytimeIcamet hi
ssi
de..
Shewasal waysmyf r
iendbutthi
sgir
lwas
forwardashell
.
Me:
Lul
u?
Shel
ookedgr
own,
sogr
own.
Her
:ohmyGod,
Ican'
tbel
i
evei
t.
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsme
Ndi
l
e:Let
lhohonol
o?
Me:
don'
t!
Iwal
kedt
owar
dsherandwehugged.
.
Her
:soy
oudoknowhowt
ovi
sit
!
Me:
aowmma.
.ai
inoshee!
Her:
noser
ious,
onkandi
l
eaker
e(y
ouhav
e
deser
tedme)
Il
aughed
Me:
aiinodar
li
ngnev
er!
wenaonumber1baeon
t
heli
st..
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:i
ssal
i
e!
Me:ser
iousbae..
howar
eyou?
youl
ooksobi
g
andbeauti
ful
..
Her:
nna?hai
bogir
l!
lookaty
ou.
.t
hatassi
s
bi
ggerthanyou.
.
Me:
mxm wenakana.
.
Her
:and?
Shesai
dlooki
ngatNdi
l
e..
Her
:who'
sbr
otheri
she?
hehotasf
uck!
Me:
l
ol
Her
:noser
ious.
.Int
roduceme.
.
Me:sheee!Mosadi!
(woman)t
hat
smyman.
.ke
abutibaeWame..sohandsof
fmyman!
Her
:t
lhammadontsayt
hat
..
kant
ewhyar
eal
l
t
hegoodguy
staken?
Me:
l
ifei
shar
d
Her
:mhhm gi
vemey
ournumber
..
Igav
ehermynumber.
Her:
Iwi
llcall
you.
.Doesn'
thehav
ea
br
other
'nyanaorcousi
nwho'
shotashi
m?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:don'
tworry
,ketl
agobankanyet
sa
sengwenyana(
Iwil
lfi
xsomet
hingfory
ou)
Her
:yes.
.nowgot
oyourman.
.Al
exi
ssogr
own.
.
IglancedatBandile,
hewasnowwi t
hAlexand
theywer el
aughing,whatevertheywere
l
aughi ngatmusthav ebeenv eryfunbecause
Ndilewaslaughingreall
yloud.Seeinghim
l
aughl iket
hat,
wasj ustpl
easingenough.
Me:
ok,
shar
p..
.
Her
:wi
l
ltal
k
Ihuggedhert
henwal
kedbackt
othem.They
keptqui
teassoonasIst
oodbef
oret
hem.
Me:
gossi
pingt
endenci
es
Al
ex:
i
sthatLul
u?
Me:
yes,
shessobi
g
Al
ex:
yeah,
I
'm sur
pri
sedshe'
snotpr
egnant
..
Il
ookedatAl
ex.
Me:
that
snotni
ce
Al
ex:
j
ustsomet
hingi
'
veal
way
sassumed
Me:
didy
ouf
indwhaty
ouwant
ed?
Her
:mhhm.
.
Ndi
l
e:Tl
hogi
..
Me:
Ihat
ethatname
Hi
m:Il
ovei
t.
.
Me:
I'
m sur
eyoudo
Hi
m:geti
nthecar
,l
et'
sgo.
.
Me:
gowher
e?
Al
ex:
j
ustgeti
nthecar
..
Wegotint
hecar
,andhest
art
eddr
ivi
ngheaded
backt
oGabor
one.
Me:
heydoy
ouknowwehav
etobehome?
Isai
dlooki
ngatBandi
le,
Icoul
djustst
art
i
maginingmom f
reaki
ngoutal
ready.
.
Al
ex:
wewi
l
lbequi
ck
Me:y
ouandwho?
andwhyar
ewe.
..
-ohhIgeti
t
now.
..
Al
ex:
whatdoy
ouget
?
Me:Yougett
omakememeetBandi
l
esoin
ret
urnhedri
vest
oGabor
onesoy
ousee
Tshepi
sang.
.
Al
ex:
tooky
oul
ongenough.
.
Me:Alex,
mom isgoingtobeatt
hel
iving
day
lightsoutofus,
thi
sisnofai
ryt
ale..
Alex
:don'
twor
ry,
Igott
hatcov
ered.
.Wear
eat
Lorr
aine'
s.
.
Lorr
ainei
sourcousi
nwhol
i
vesj
ustacr
osst
he
str
eet.
.
Me:youseem t
ohav
ethi
swhol
ethi
ngpl
anned
outperf
ectl
y.
.
Her:
yes,
mat t
erf
act
,wear
ehav
ingasl
eepov
er
atLorr
aine'
s.
.
Me:
i
sthatal
i
etoo?
Her
:mhhm
Me:wearegoi
ngbackhome.
.Ify
oul
i
edt
hen
wherear
ewer eal
l
ysl
eepi
ng?
Al
ex:
hot
el?
Il
ookedatBandi
l
ewhoj
ustshr
uggedhi
s
shoul
der
s..
Me:stopshr
uggi
ngatme,
wenotsl
eepi
ngata
hotel
..
you.
.y
ouaregoi
ngt
odri
veusbackhome.
.
BacktoMochudi
!
Ndil
e:wi
lly
oucal
m down?
youst
rai
ningy
our
l
it
tl
ev oi
ce..
Me:
I'
m cal
m..
thi
sismycal
mestmood.
.
Ndi
le:t
henbreat
h..
Iwi
l
ldr
ivey
ouback.
.Ij
ust
wantedtoseeyou
Me:youar
ewast
ingmoney
..
whydi
dyouev
enf
ly
her
e?
Hi
m:becauseIcanandcanaf
for
dit
Ilookedathim,l
ostforwordstosay
.Because
hecan. .
andcanaffordi
t.Thi
swasn'tj
ust
real.
.ev
eryt
hingwasn'tr
eal.
.
Hi
m:andbecauseIl
ovey
ou
Me:
youshoul
dn'
t.
.-
Hi
m:Iwanttobeablet
ogivey
outhewor
ld
Kr
is,
becauseIl
ovebeyoubut
..
buty
oumadat
medoesn'tmakemebreat
h
Me:Idontwantt
hewor
ld.
.Ij
ustwanty
ou.
..
you
al
one
Hi
m:aboutt
hecl
ub-
Me:
no.
.I
'
mtheonewho'
ssor
ry,
I
'm sor
ryI
swi
tchedof
fmyphone.
.I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:i
tsok.
.
Alexthenstar
tedt
osing,
makingadi
sorder
..
Whoev ert
oldmysist
ershecansi
ngisevil
as
hell
!
Alex:Il
ovethi
ssong.
.nowt
haty
'al
lhav
emade
up,l
et'
splayit
..
Shesai
dgivi
ngmeheriPod,Icomeconnectedi
t
tot
hecar,
moment
slaterthesonghadfil
ledthe
car
..
I
nhl
i
tiy
oyam i
shay
ati
gigi
gi
Ti
git
igi
gigi
Ti
git
igi
gigi
Ti
git
igi
gigi
Ti
git
igi
gigi
gi
Ti
git
igi
gigi
Ti
git
igi
gigi
Ti
git
igi
gigi
Tigi
tigi
gigi
gi

Vani
,l
alel
a,wel
elel
ele

Afterawhi l
e,Iwassingi
ngwithAlexwhi l
e
Bandi l
ejustdrovel
aughingall
theway ,putt
ing
somebadcomment saboutourv oicesandt he
factthatwedi dn'
tknowt hel
yri
cswel lmadei t
wor se.Arri
vi
ngatGaboronewedr ovestrai
ght
toTshepi e'
shouse.
Me:
Ibethe'
ssl
eepi
ng.
.
Isai
doncewewer
epar
kedbyt
hegat
e..
Her
:ai
ino,
he'
scomi
ng.
.
Thegatesl
idopenaft
erawhi
l
e,andhecame
outdr
essedinPJs.
Me:
yousee.
.hewasal
readysl
eepi
ng.
.
Her
:mxm
Shegotof
fthecarandwal
kedt
ohi
m,t
hey
hugged,
ki
ssedanddi
dal
lthest
uffIwi
shIdi
dn'
t
see.
Ndi
l
e:i
sn'
tshet
ooy
oung?
Me:
i
sn'
ti
tthaty
ouguy
shadadeal
?IBl
amey
ou
Ndi
le:Iwaspushedi
ntoacornerbecauseofa
gi
rl
fri
endwholovesgett
ingmad..
Me:Ist
il
lcan'
tbeli
eveyouareher
e..
it
sli
ke.
.I
dontknow..
youjustper
fect
..
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m not
hingbutper
fectKr
is.
.notev
encl
ose
Me:youareperfectt
ome,youjustdoev
ery
thi
ng
r
ight
..
itdoesn'
tevenfeel
real
Hi
m:i
tsbecauseIl
ovey
ou,
andIdontwantt
o
l
oseyou
Me: somet
imesIfeel
li
keyouaregoingtoleav
e
me,andgoforsomeonebettert
hanme,
someonewhodoesn'tcry
,orwho'schi
l
dish.
.
Someonewho..-
Him:no.
.nodonttalkli
ket
hat.
.Idontwant
anybodyelsebutyou..
chi
l
dishornot.cr
ybaby
ornotIdontcare.
.Ilov
eyou
Me:
youar
e..
.per
fect
..
Hi
m:dontIdeser
vear
ewar
d..
Hesai
dleani
ngov
ert
ome.
.
Me:
mom t
hinksI
'
m hav
ingsex.
.
Iwhisper
edashe'
slipswerei
nchesawayf
rom
mine,hesmil
edacrookedsmil
e.
Hi
m:ai
nty
ou?
Me:
thenshet
alkedaboutbei
ngpr
egnant
Hi
m:babe.
.f
uck!
yourshot
..
it
stoday
..
Me:
oh
Him:y
eah,
butwewi
l
ldoi
ttomor
rowbef
oreIgo
back.
Me:
youar
egoi
ngbackt
omor
row?
Hi
m:y
eah,
Ihav
esomeer
randsIhav
etosor
t
out
..
Me:
ok
Hi
m:y
eah,
ummhIwi
l
ltexty
out
het
ime.
.
Inodded,Iwasjustgladt
hathewascauti
ous
nottomakemepr egnant
,becauseImy
sel
f,had
completel
yfor
gotten.
Hi
m:whyar
eyousmi
l
ingl
i
ket
hat
?
Ishookmyhead.
.
Me:
j
ustsmi
l
ing.
.
Hi
m:y
ouhav
ear
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e
Me:
youhaveareal
l
ybeautif
ull
augh.
.Iwoul
dn'
t
mi
ndheari
ngyouallday
..
HechuckledbythenAlexwasalreadywal
ki
ng
backtothecarwithTshepi
e.Igotofft
hecar
thenwenttohugmyownbestf r
iend.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou.
Hi
m:l
ols.
.i
tsbecausey
ounev
erv
isi
t
Me:
youv
isi
t.
.any
wayhowwasy
ourf
li
ght
?
Him:
ok,
I'
m doti
red.
.hadt
osubmi
tmy
assi
gnmentst
odaybefor
eIcame
Me:
aow.
.sor
ryhey
Hi
m:t
hewayy
ourboy
fri
endi
slooki
ngatme.
.
It
urnedandhehadhi
sey
esonus,
Iknewhe
wasjeal
ous.
.
Me:
don'
twor
ry,
he'
sli
ket
hat
Hi
m:i
j
ook,
Iwi
l
lseey
ouguy
stomor
row.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Ihuggedonelastt
imebefor
elet
ti
nghim go,
he
bri
efl
ykissedAl
exthenr
anbacktothehouse.
Me:
thatsmi
l
e
Shegi
ggl
ed.
.
Her
:Imi
ssedhi
m
Me:
nowl
et'
sgohome
Her
:whatar
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lmom?
Me:si
nceyouar
etheonewhol
i
edhowabout
youfi
gurei
tout
?
Isai
dasIgoti
nsi
det
hecar
.
Her
:mxm
Ndi
l
e:am Idr
ivi
ngy
ouguy
sbackhome?
Me:
ye
Alex
:Kr
isItol
dmom wesl eepi
ngatLor
raine's
house,
whatwi l
lIsayafterwerockup.
..
Lorrai
ne
hasagreedtocoverforusbecausesheowes
me
Me:
Idontcar
e..
Her:
andwear
egoi
ngt
obeShar
ingt
her
oom
wit
hmom
Me:
Iwi
l
lsl
eepont
hecouch.
Her
:Idon'
twantt
osl
eepatUncl
eK'
shouse!
Shesnappedmaki
ngmet
urnt
oher
..
Me:
why
?
Her
:because.
.BecauseIdontwantt
o
Herey
eswer
eal
readygl
assy
..
Me:
Didany
thi
nghappent
her
e?
Her
:not
hinghappenedt
her
e,y
ougohome.
.I
'
m
not
Shewaspret
tyser
iousmaki
ngmet hi
nkthat
somet
hingwasreal
lygoi
ngon.Al
exwon'tj
ust
makeanoutbur
stofthi
ngsl
iket
hat,
it
snother.
Shewi
pedawayt
het
eart
hathadst
reamed
downf
ast.
.
Me:
okf
ine,
wewi
l
lsl
eepatLor
rai
ne'
s.
.
Her
:att
hehot
el!
Me:
0400a.
m wewi
l
lbedr
ivi
ngbackt
oMochudi
.
.
Her
:what
ever
Il
ookedatBandi
l
ewhowasj
ustl
ooki
ngatme
bl
ankl
y..
Me:
didy
oubookt
her
oomsAl
ex?
Her
:no
Il
aughed
Me:
sowhatnow?
Ndi
l
e:Iwi
l
lsor
titout
..
.
Aft
erawhile,
wewer ewalki
nginsidet
hehotel
.
Bandi
let
alkedtotherecept
ioni
stasIstood
behi
ndwithAlex.
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Her
:wi
thwhat
?
Me:
youknowy
oucant
ell
meany
thi
ngr
ight
?
Her
:yes.
.
Me:
tal
ktomet
hen
Her
:Ihat
ethewayUncl
eKl
ooksatme
Me:
howdoeshel
ookaty
ou?
Her:
li
keI'
m someonehewant
stof
uckwi
th.
.i
ts
uncomfor
tableKr
is
Ij
ustst
oodther
enotknowi
ngwhattosay.My
hear
twasbeati
ngf
astagai
nstmychest
..
Her
:I
'm scar
ed
Me:
dontwor
ry,
I
'm her
e
Shet
henhuggedmet
ight
ly.
.
Shepul
ledoutaft
erawhi
l
ewi
thr
edey
es.
.Ndi
l
e
wasapproachi
ngus.
.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
.
Wef
oll
owedhi
m..
Ndi
l
e:whatar
eyousl
eepi
ngar
rangement
?
Al
ex:
I'
mfi
neal
one.
.
Me:
star
ti
ngf
rom when?
Her
:Iwantt
ocal
lTshepi
e..
Me:
so?
Her
:Ineedpr
ivacy
..Iwi
l
lsl
eepal
one.
.
Me:
i
fTshepi
ecomesov
erI
'
m goi
ngt
oknow.
.
Her
:yeahy
eah.
.
 *
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Hi
m:what
'swr
ong?Youseem shaken.
.
Me:
i
tsAl
ex,
shesai
dsomet
hingv
erydi
stur
bing.
.
Hi
m:whati
sit
?
Me:shedoesn'
tl
iket
hewaymyUncl
elooksat
her
..
Hest oppedrubbingmybackl
ikehehadbeen
doingforthelastminut
eswehadbeeninthi
s
room.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:shedoesn'
tl
iket
hewaymyUncl
elooksat
her
Him:t
henIt
hinki
tsgoodt
haty
ouguy
sar
e
act
uall
yher
e
Me:
Ihopewear
egoi
ngbackt
omor
row
Hi
m:i
fnott
henI
'
m goi
ngt
ost
ickar
ound.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
thatwi
l
lbeni
ce.
.
Hi
m:i
fthatguywasn'
tyoursi
ster
sboy
fri
endI
wasser
iousl
ygoi
ngtotri
p
Me:he'smyfr
iend,
bestf
ri
endfort
hatmat
ter
..
He'stheonl
yone..
whousedtobether
ewhenI
neededsomeone
Hi
m:andnowI
'
m her
e
Ichuckl
edr
aisi
ngmyheadf
rom hi
schest
..
Me:
andnowy
ouar
eher
e..
Hi
m:whati
fIdi
dn'
tki
dnapy
ou?
Me:
Ihatedyou.
.JesusChr
istIhat
edy
ouso
much.
.whydidyouevendothat?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ltel
lyouoneday
..
Me:y
ou..
.youshockedmewi
thEl
etr
ici
ty.
.And
youwantedtoinj
ectmewi
thdr
ugs.
.
Hi
m:Iknow.
..
I'
m bad,
Iknowt
hat
Me:Idontwantt
otal
kaboutt
his,
i
tmakesme
angry.
.
Hi
m:buti
fIdi
dn'
t,
wewoul
dn'
tbeher
e
Me:
yeahIguess.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
ereal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
stopi
t.
.
Him:Let
lhogonol
o..
Ilov
ethewayi
tsounds
Letl
hogonolo
Me:
Il
ikeKr
ist
in.
.
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.
.
He'
sphonest
art
edr
ingi
ng.
.
Me:
takei
t.
.
Her
eachedoutf
ori
tthenanswer
edannoy
ed
Him:hel
lo?..
fuck!howcouldy ouletthat
happen?..No..
findher,andyoubetterfi
ndheror
el
se..
youwi l
l f
indy oursel
fhalfwayacrossthe
countr
y..
Het
henhungup.
.Hehadt
ensedup
Me:
arey
ouok?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hesai
dputti
nghisphoneasi
deandki ssi
ngme.
.
Thi
swasthefir
stti
meIhaveev erf
eltl
ikehe
wasly
ingt
omebutIdi dn'
tpush.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Iopenedmyey es,i
twasst i
ll
darkthough.Iran
myhandbesi desmeandhewasn' tther
e.Wi t
h
abeat i
nghardheartIsatupstr
aightonthebed
switchi
ngthelampbesi desme.Hewasnti nthe
room.Itookmyphoneandi twasaroundt wo
earl
yinthemor ni
ng.Istoodup,
picki
nguphi sT-
shir
tandslippi
nginit.
.
Itookadeepbr eathashisnumberledmeto
voicemail.Butthenhe'sa25y ear
soldguy
,who' sagrownassmanandknowswhathe' s
doing.Probablyleavi
ngmeher ewaspartofa
plan..Icr
awledbacki ntothebedtaki
ngadeep
breathandsenthi m atext.
"
Hey,
Ij
ustwokeupandyounother
e..I
'
m
wor
ri
ed,Ihopey
ouaresaf
ewherevery
ouar
e..I
l
ovey
ou"
Ipr
essedsendasIt
ookadeepbr
eath.It
ri
ed
bei
ngmadbutIwasworr
iedmorethanangr
yor
mad.
Openi ngmyey esagain,Iwasi nhi s
arms, Lockedinhisarmst ightlyandIf eltreli
ef
brusht hroughme. .
Thanky ouLor d.
.Hewas
rubbingmyback, i
nanonr hythmi cform.He
kissedmyf orehead,"
I'
m sor r
y "hemut tered
softl
yandIhear dhim.."
Ilovey ou"andagai nhe
mumbl edandIhear d..
Iwant edt oscr eam Il ove
yout oobutIkeptst i
ll
..Her emai nedsi lent,unt
ilI
wast iredofthepositi
onIwasi n.Iraisedmy
head,andhe' seyeswer eonmesmi l
ing. .His
smi l
ej ustmeltmyhear tmaki ngmebl ush.
Hi
m:f
inal
l
y..
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hi
,
somet
imesIf
orgethowshyy
oucanbe.
.
Me:
I'
m notshy
Hi
m:ohwr
eal
l
y?
Me:
yesr
eal
l
y..
Hi
m:Let
lhogonol
o
Me:
Bandi
l
e!
Hechuckl
ed,
bef
oresof
tl
ycar
essi
ngmyl
i
ps
wi
thhis.
.
Me:
what
swr
ong?
Imanagedt
owhisperashe'
sli
pswer
eonmi
ne.
.
Hepull
edoutsmi
li
ng..
Hi
m:what
'swr
ong?
Heaskedwithaconf
usedfacebutIknewthat
wasjustamusk.
.Somethi
ngwaswr ongandI
coul
dfeeli
t.
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Hi
m:t
her
e'snot
hing.
.-
Icuthi
m shor
t
Me:
iknowsomet
hingi
swr
ong,
justt
ell
me.
.
Hi
m:Kri
sbabeplease,
giv
emeabr
eak.
.atl
east
j
ustf
ortodaypl
ease..
Ilookedathim ashesaidthat,
Inodded
repeatedl
y.
..Hi
swordspl ayedbackin
mi nd.
.j
ustfort
oday.
.pl
ease
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
Pl
easel
i
keandcomment
..
. .

Yester
daymysoci
alsubscri
pti
onendednI
real
l
yhatefr
eeFacebook.
.Butnowitsal
l
sort
ed..
Yourresponseony ourvi
ewsofthest
orywer
e
real
lyencouragi
ngguy s,
I
'm gl
adwedi
dthat
..
Lotsoflovefrom me

[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t41
KRI
S
.
.
"I
tsnothi
ngIcan'thandl
e,
Ihav
eeveryt
hing
undercontr
olbabesopleasej
ustbr
eath,Il
ove
you"
Ir
eadhi
stextbutIwasn'
tconv
inced,
notev
ena
si
ngl
ebi
t.
"Si
ncewhendoy oukeept hi
ngsfrom
me?secr
etsdestr
oyr elati
onshi
ps..Yes,maybe
youmighthaveeverythingundercontrolbutI
j
ustwanttoknow. .
thi
ngshav en'
tbeent he
sameeversincethelasttimeyoucameher e.
.I
l
oveyoutoo"
Ir
epl
iedt
ohistext
,al
lIwant
edwastoknow
what
'swr
ong..Al
lIwantedwasf
orhi
mt otel
l
mewhat'
sgoingon.
Hedi
dn'
trepl
y,
Itookadeepbr
eat
htocal
m
my sel
fdownandj ustpr
ocessesevery
thi
ng
thatsgoingon.I
tsbeen2weeksandwehav e
beengoingonandonaboutt hisbutIcanfeel
somet hi
ngiswrongandIknowi t
snotgoingto
endwel l
.
Ifel
tsomeoneshakemel i
ght
lymaki ngme
comebackt oeart
h.Ilookedbesidesme,and
Dylanwasjustl
ookingatmet r
yingtomay be
readmymind.
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Isai
dsmi
l
ing,
smi
l
ingoneofmybr
ight
estf
ake
smil
e.
Hi
m:boy
fri
endi
ssues?
Me:
not
hingIcan'
thandl
e
Hi
m:I
'
m al
way
sher
eify
ouneedt
otal
k..
Inoddedsmi
l
ingathi
m.
BK:
areweev
ergoi
ngt
ogo?
Il
ookedathim,wewer
ewait
ingforTshepi
eto
changesothatwegotot
hecinematojust
watchamov i
e.
Al
ex:noyouguys,
pleasel
eav
emyman
al
one..
kant
ekeng?
BK:wehavebeenheref
artool
ong.
.Hecan'
tbe
changi
ngclot
hesti
ll
now..
Il
aughed,
BKcanbehy
peri
fhewant
stobe.
Momentslat
erTshepi
ewal
kedi
n,
looki
nggoodI
mustsay
.
Dy
lan:
canwegonow?
Tshepi
e:y
eah.
.
Weal lstoodupandwal kedoutside.Iwasi nt
he
carwithDy l
anwhileBKwaswi t
hTshepi eand
Alex.Dri
v i
ngtothecinemaIwasHopi ngand
prayi
ngt hatBandi
letextbackorcallsbutthe
oppositehappened,usuall
yIknowhewoul d
havecalled.Arr
ivi
ngatthemov iesIfeltl
ike
goingbackhome, andjustlocki
ngmy selfinmy
r
oom.Ismi
l
edaswewal
kedi
nsi
det
heci
nema.
Thewhol emov i
emymi ndwasn' tinplace,i
twas
stuckonsomet hingelse..I
twasr atherthe
mov i
ewat chedmei nsteadofIwat chedt he
mov i
e.Almost3weeksofhol i
dayand
everyt
hingfeel
slikeit
sspi r
all
ingoutofcont rol
.
Wewal kedoutsideimmedi atelyaft
erthemov i
e
ended.
Dyl
an:
ther
e'st
hispar
tyt
hatIhav
ebeeni
nvi
ted
t
o..
BK:
weshoul
dlandt
her
e
Tshepi
e:y
eah,
itsFr
idayaf
teral
l
.
Il
ookedatthem astheydeci
dedtogotoa
par
ty,
butIwasn'tf
eeli
ngit
..
all
Iwantedwasto
sl
eep,
sleepitof
fandwakeupt henextdaywi
th
abangingheadacheasusual.
Dy
lan:
sowegame?
Al
ex:
yeah.
.
Me:
Ihav
eaheadache.
.
Tshepi
e:y
oudo?
didy
oubr
ingy
ourpi
l
ls?
Me:
no,
andIneedt
ogethome.
.Buty
ouguy
s
maygo
Al
ex:
i
tsnotgoi
ngt
obet
hesanewi
thouty
ou.
.
Me:Iknowbuthav
efun.
.Tshepi
epl
easel
ook
af
termysist
er.
.
Tshepi
e:y
ourwi
shi
smycommand.
.
Ismiledbr
ight
lyhi
dingawayt
hepai
nthatr
eal
l
y
hitdeepdown.
Dylan:Iwi
lldr
opyouoff
..Thepart
yisat
Tbang'shouseinBl
ock8..
Iwil
lcat
chyouguy
s
there.
.
BK:
ok.
.
BKcameandGav
emebearhug.
.
BK:
Ihopey
ougetbet
ter
..
Hesai
dwi
thaconcer
nedf
ace.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbe.
.
Il
ethi
m goandwal
kedtoDyl
an'
scar.Dy
lan
wasal
readyi
nhi
scar,
soIj
ustgoti
n.
Hest
art
edt
hecarandst
art
eddr
ivi
ngaway
..
Hi
m:Ihav
enev
erseeny
ouLi
ket
his.
.
Igazedathi
m,andhewasf
ocusedont
her
oad.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbef
ine.
.
Hi
m:i
twon'
t,
andy
ouknowi
t.
.
Me:
Ifeell
i
keI '
m hol
dingmybreat
h,andj
ust
wai
ti
ng,wait
ingpati
entl
yforhi
mtohurt
me.
.andIknowhe'sgoingto.
.
Hi
m:Iknowthefeel
ing,
andtheny
ouwill
keep
wonder
ingwhatyouaredoi
ngwrong.
.
Me:IthinkI'
m naggy..
toomuchofacr ybaby,
too
chil
dish,t
oomuchofat eenager.
.Heneedsa
realwoman, awomanwhodoesn' tcr
yat
anythingthathappenswrong..
someonewho' s
notinsecure,someonewho'snotst r
essf
ul,
someonebet t
erthanme.
Hel
aughed.
.
Him:heknewy ouwereat eenagerwhenhe
approachedyouKris,
soitssomet hinghe
expected.
.Bei
ngnaggi ngisactuall
yasignof
cari
ng..Don'
tdothistoyoursel
f,youareper
fect
thewayy ouare,
every
onei sperfectint
hei
rown
way
Me:youdon'
tunderst
and,I'
m aki
d,heneedsa
realwoman..
youshouldseehe'
sexgirl
fri
end.
.I
cantevencompeteevenifIwantt
o..
Hi
m:hi
sExsoy ousaymeanspastt
ense,
he'
s
wi
thyoubecausehel
ovesyou.
.
Me:
hekeepst
hingsf
rom me
Hi
m:i
tsnormalf
oraguytodoso,i
tsbecause
t
heydon'
twanttost
ressy
ouwithbul
lshi
t
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:dontdumphim,Iknowthat
swhatyouare
pr
obabl
ythinki
ngbutdont
..
it
sgoingt
obreak
y
ou
Inodded,
hepar
kedi
nfr
ontofourhouse.
Him:dontstr
essyoursel
f,Idontknowy our
boyf
riendbutIdontthi
nkhedoesn' tloveyou..
From whatIhaveheardhe'scrazyabout
you,
somet i
mesitshardtobeopenabout
ever
ythingandyougirl
sdontunder standthis,
I
dontknowwhy ..
don'
tstressyourself
, y
ouar e
tooyoungforstr
ess.
.
Me:
yesSi
r.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Hel
eanedov
erandbr
ief
lyhugme.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
emysi
ster
..Wher
e'sSam?
Me:
he'
sher
e..
bye.
.
Hi
m:shar
p..
Igotof
fhi
scarandwalkedinsi
det
hehouse,
Mom wasworki
nglat
etonight,
Sam wast
he
onlyonehome..Iwalkedinsi
dethehouse,
andI
couldn'
tspothi
m anywhere,Iwalkedt
omy
room passi
ngbyhe'sbuthe'sdoorwasabit
open,soIcouldeasi
lyhearhim,
itseemedl
ike
hewasont hephone...
Him:IknowIdontl i
key oubutwhatI 'm say
ingis
notbecauseoft hebeef,butshemeansal otto
meandIhav etoprotecther,samewayasy ou
l
oveher .
.Hersaf et
yshouldcomef ir
stto
you.
.yes,
goodidea..youneedt odealwithyour
messwi thoutmakingherpar tofi
t.
.Dont
worry,
Iwillt
akecareofher ..
ok
Thent her
ewassilence.
.Afterawhil
ethedoor
openedandIwasst i
l
lstandingt
heretr
yingto
eavesdropmoresot ogetwhathewast alki
ng
about.Helookedsurpri
sed,shockedt
oseeme. .
Hi
m:andt
hen?
Me:
hi
Hi
m:whyarey oubackear
ly?
shoul
dn'
tyoube
wi
thyoursquad?
Me:
Ihadaheadache.
.
Hi
m:ohw.
.howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngnow?
Me:
bet
ter
..
Henoddedbef or
ewal kingaway ..
Isobad
want edtoaskhi m whowashet alki
ngt obutI
j
usthel dmy selfandwal kedt omyr oom, closed
thedoorandl ayont hebed, mymi ndwasj ust
raci
ng..WasSam t alkingt oBandile.
.IsBandi l
e
i
nt r
oubl eandnowhewant stobreakupwi t
h
me?Ishutmyey est ight l
y,tr
yingnottot hink
aboutit,
tryi
ngt othinkot her
wisebutIj ust
couldn't
.IthinkImi ghthav edosedof fbecause
Iopenedmyey esasmyphonewasr inging..I
l
ookedatt hecallerID,andi twasBandi le..With
myhear tbeat i
ngf ast,Ianswer edthecal l
..
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryf
orwaki
ngy
ouupl
ate.
.
Me:
i
tsok.
.
Him:butterfl
yyouknowIhav eenemies
ri
ght?l
ikepeopl eoutther
eIalwaysaft
er
me..
andt heyalwaysaimforthepeopl
eI
l
ove..
pr otecti
ngmyf amil
yhasalwaysbeen
easybutwi t
hy ou.
.-
Me:
arewebr
eaki
ngup?
Hi
m:what
?no.
.nev
er.
.j
ustkeepi
ngal
owkey
..
Myheartjuststoppedashesai
dthat
,Ican'
t
expl
ainhowIf elt
..
Me:
alowkey
..
.
Him:don'
tdothat.
.Don'
tdoubtmyl
ovef
or
you.
.Il
oveyou,andIl
oveyoumoret
han
anyt
hing
Me:
Idontknowwhatt
osay
Him:pl
ease.
.j
ustforawhi l
e,
upunti
lev
eryt
hing
hasgonebacktonor mal..
Ihaveamatt
erIneed
tokeepundercontrol
..ButIneedy
ousafe
Me:
ok
Him:I
'm notbr
eaki
ngupwi
thy
ouKr
is.
.j
ustl
ow
key.
.abreak.
.
Atearr
oll
eddownthatIqui
cklywi
pedof
f,
I'
m
notgoi
ngtocr
yforhim..
notagai
n..
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowwhattodoany
mor e.
.You
wannagoout?.
.Forsometi
me.
..
Idontknow
t
imeaway,t
ogetherwi
thme.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
e
Him: mylifeismessedupbabe, andIdontwant
tolosey ou..
andIknowIkeepmessi ngupand
hurti
ngy ou..
thatsnotwhatIwant ,
makingy ou
cryisn'
tsomet hi
ngIlovedoingorseeing.
.
Beingwi thme. .i
shardIknow..
consideri
ngmy
l
ifestyl
e,IknowIhur tyou,al
otbutpleasedot
l
eav eme. .Il
ov eyou.
.l
et'
sgetoutofthecount r
y..
Paris?Netherlandsorwhereveryouwant .
.as
l
ongasy ouar esafe.
.it
sok
Me:
no,
i
tsok.
.abr
eakwoul
ddo
Hi
m:Kr
isbabe.
.f
uck!
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.
.
Him:Il
oveyoumor e,
mor
ethanyouthi
nk..
please
donthangup.
.Iwannaheary
ourbreat
hingwhen
youaresl
eeping.
.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
Idontwantt
osl
eep,
Iwantt
ocr
y
Hi
m:pl
easedontcr
y,i
thur
tsme.
.
Me:
am Il
osi
ngy
ouBandi
l
e?
Hi
m:no.
.nonev
er.
.I
'
m her
etost
ay.
.y
ouknowi
t.
.
Me:
thenwhydoesi
tfeel
li
keIam?
Him:
younot
..
Iwi
shIwast
her
ewi
thy
ou,
tohol
d
youi
nmyarms..
Me:Il
oveyouBandi leThul
ani,
youaremywor ld
andthat
swhyIal way scry
,becausemywor l
dis
alwayst
rembli
ng, andthi
st i
mei t
scrushi
ngand
Ican'
thel
pit.I
'm alwaystryi
ngtokeepit
toget
herbutIal
way sfail
.
Hi
m:babepl
ease.
.-
Ihungup, notwanti
ngt ohearmore.Iswit
ched
offmyphoneandt riedsohardtoholditi
n,buti
t
wasj usttoohard..
tohardtoholdit
..
Itookhis
j
acket ,
andcriedsil
entl
y,af
terawhil
eIfelt
Sam' sarmsonme, heheldmetight
lyasIcried
becausey etagain,
I'
mt heonecryi
ng..Yet
again,I
'
mt heonehur t.
.
.
LEAH
.
Me:
and?
Q:hehastobreakupwit
hher,
herl
i
fei
sin
dangeraslongasshe'
swit
hhim
Me:
sot
hisBar
abbasguy
,want
stohur
tKr
is?
Q:
no,hewantstohurtBandi
l
eint
hewor
st
mannerandtheonlywaytogett
oHi
misbyhi
s
weakness.
.
Me:
whi
chi
sKr
ist
in?
Q:
yeah.
.
Me:
shesgoi
ngt
ocr
ush.
.
Q:
y eah..
soisBandil
e..Iknowhedoesgeti
nto
r
elationshi
psbutthi
swast hef
ir
stIsawhi
m
l
ovesomeonel ikethi
s..
Me:
hedoesl
oveher
Q:
yeah,
andt
hat
swhyhersaf
etycomesf
ir
st.
.
Me:
shesr
eal
l
ygoi
ngt
ocr
ush.
.
.
KRI
S
.
Iknewitwasl atei
nthemor ningbutIstil
lshut
myey es,
Iwishedthiswasalladream. .
.A
dream Isobadlywantt owakeupf rom butit
wasn't.
.Andithurt
.Iopenedmyey esandour
eyesmet .
.Hewassi tt
ingatthecornerofmy
room,onthefloorl
ookingatme.
Hi
m:Iheardy
ourbr
eat
hingwheny
ouwer
e
sl
eepi
ng..
Ilookedathimthenchuckled..Hav
ingapriv
ate
j
etisanicelifepr
oblem..Alwaysfl
yingwhen
youwantt o.
.andthefactt
hathewas
here..
mademehappy .
.
Hi
m:Icoul
dn'
tsl
eepy
est
erday
..

.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

[
11/27,
15:
14]Ron:DANGEROUS
ATTRACTI
ON:KRI
STIN'
SDIARY
#I
nser
t42
KRI
S
.
.
Il
ookedathim,hewasn'tsmi
l
ingasusualand
l
ookedstr
essed.Hiseyesbur
ntme,dugri
ghtin
myskinputt
ingmeatunease.
Me:
whyar
eyouher
e?i
nmyr
oom?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Him:whatam Idoi
ngher
e?ser
iousl
y?Youmust
bejoki
ng..
Me:
Ithoughtwewer
ekeepi
ngal
owkey
Him:areyousureyouok?thi
sisnott
he
responseIgotyest
erday
..Youdri
vemecr
azy
anditsnotfunnyanymore..
Me:y
ouarehurt
ingme,
breaki
ngmyhear
t.
.i
ts
notf
unnytoo
Him:Itol
dy ouwenotbreaki
ngup..
whatdoyou
wantmet osay?I
'
mjusttry
ingtokeepyou
safe,
isthatsowrongnow? t
ryi
ngtokeepmy
gir
lfr
iendsafe?
Hewasst
il
lsi
tt
edatt
hecor
ner
,rel
axed.
.
Me:
i
tdoesn'
tfeel
li
ket
hat
Hi
m:ohh!whatdoesi
tfeel
li
ket
hen?Li
keIwant
t
oleave?
Inodded,
unabl
etospeak.Thewayhewas
tal
ki
ngtomemademeswal l
owhar
d.
Him:JesusChr
ist
!hav
eIevergi
venyouareason
t
ot hi
nkIwanttoleav
eyou?Whatthefuckdo
youwantmet odo?
Ikeptqui
te,
try
ingsohardtokeepitt
oget
her
,
thi
swastakinganunexpect
edturn.
.
Hi
m:Il
oveyou,t
hatswhyI '
m wi
thy
ou.
.Chr
ist
!
Gr
owupf orheavenssake!
Tearsst
ungmyey es,IknewthemomentI
bl
ink,
ari
verwoul
dj ustfl
ood,
Ilookedupt
oav
oid
cr
y i
ng.
Hi
m:dowealwayshav
etodothi
sal
lthe
t
ime?y
oudonttr
ustmedoyou?
Me:
Ido.
.
Him:i
tdoesn'
tseem l
ikeit.
.Il
oveyou,Icar
e
aboutyouandIwon'tjusthurty
oulikethat.
.y
ou
aremywor l
d.
Me:
Ifeel
li
key
ouar
eleav
ingme
Hi
m:I
'
m not
,just
..
God!
Me:
whyar
eyouher
eBandi
l
e?
Him:youknowwhat?
Ireall
ythi
nky
ouar
e
r
ight
..
weshouldj
ustbreakup..
Foramomentt heremyheartst
opped,
ever
ythi
ngjustst
opped.
.Ifel
tli
keIdi
dn'
thear
hi
m well
..
Me:
what
?
Iwhi
sper
ed
Hi
m:it
sli
keyouhavebeenhint
ingt
hatwe
br
eakup.
.NowI'
m giv
ingyouwhatyou
want
..
let
'
sbreakup
Tear
sinv
olunt
aryst
reameddown.
.
Hi
m:t
hiscr
yinggameofy
our
ssucks.
.st
op
i
t.
.whyar
ey ouev
encr y
ing?y
oudontt
rust
me..
whyareweev endoingt
his?
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Hi
m:l
et'
sbreakupKrist
in,Ilov
eyousomuch,
I
won'
tdeni
eyit
..
butIcan'tkeepdoi
ngt
his.
.
Isweart
oGod,mymindwentbl
ank.
.ev
ery
thi
ng
j
ustwasn'
tri
ghtany
more.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Isai
dst
andi
ngupandwal
ki
ngt
owar
dshi
m,he
wasnowonhisf
eet
..
Me:I
..
Ijustt
hinkmay
bey
ouwi
l
lfi
ndsomeone
bet
ter
..
and..
-
Him:
andleavey
ou?
howmanyt
imesmustIt
ell
youIl
oveyou?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
pleasedontl
eav
e..
please.
.
Il
iter
all
ysawmysel
fgoi
ngonmy
knees,
beggi
ng.
.
Hi
m:ov
erdosepi
l
lsandIwi
l
lmakesur
eyougo
t
oamentali
nst
it
uti
onandy
ouwi
l
lnev
ersee
meev
eragai
n!
Me:
Iwon'
t.
.
Hi
m:I
'
mleav
ing.
.
Hepickedmeupandpl acedmeonmy
bed,
peckedmylipsandleft
..
Ifel
tweak,
myl
egs
fel
tweak..
.andl
i
kethathewasgone.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
WhenIwasst il
linhi
ghschool ,
everytimet hings
gotsohar dformeIt ooktimeout ,
i
twasn' teasy
goingt oschool butthenfeelingoutofpl ace
becauseofmyski ncolourorbecausemyey es
arewei rd.Therewasat i
mewher ebyt hisot her
guy,whowasmyschool mat epostedon
Facebookaboutmyey ecolour.BythenIwas
sti
llform2andSam wasdoi nghi sAl ev el,
he
stoodupf ormeatschool ,beatupt hatguyand
gotsuspended.Fr om youngageSam has
al
way sbeent heonet ohav emybackbutt hena
ti
mecamef orhimt oleavet henIwasl eft
alone,foughtt hebat t
lesal one.Ev ent houghI
hadTshepi ebuti twasnev erthesame.The
i
nsecur i
ti
esar enotIwi l
l getcheat ed, t
he
i
nsecur i
ti
eshadal way sbeenaboutme.
BecauseI 'mj ustnotl ikeot herkidsIal way sf eel
atdi sadvant age.Di sadv ant ageoft hatther ear e
nor mal peopl eoutt her e.Ist oodi nf r
ontoft he
mi rr
oranal ysingmyey es, Ihadputbackmy
cont actsandwor emyspect aclesj ustli
kei n
highschool .NowonderDy l
ancal l
edmeRuby .I
t
wast heendoft hehol iday ,andImustsayt his
wasn' tthef unni esthol iday sIhav eev erhad, well
expectt hatIr eal l
ydidwel l onmyl astsemest er.
Ev ersinceIl ostBandi le, Idon' tknow. .
Ijustfeel
l
ostandIknowi tsbecauseIknowIi nvesteda
l
oti nt hatrelationshipf ori ttoj ustbreakl ike
that.Hi m breaki ngupwi thmecameasshock, I
thoughthewasgoi ngt oorwewer ej ustgoi ng
tomakeupt henev erythi nggoesbackt o
nor mal butt heopposi tehappened.Somet imes
Ijustcan' tsleepatni ght ,soasusual Ioverdose
acoupl eofpi ll
sthensl eep,orputpai nkillersi n
fanta..i
talway sfeelsbet teraf t
erIhav edone
thatbecauset henIwon' thav etodeal wi ththe
heartbr eakorsomet imesIdoi twhenIwantt o
cry,
thenIwon' tcryt hen.Obv iouslyIhav et r
ied
call
inghi m butital way sleadsmet ov oi cemai l,
Ihav esentami ll
ionmessagesonWhat sApp
andFacebookbuthenev err epli
est henIguess
Iwentt of arthistimear ound.Ir et
reatedf rom
themi rrorbli
nkingawayt het ears.
.Cr yi
ng
alway smakesmehav eaHeadacheandmakes
mehav ebl ur
redv ersion.It ookmybag, Iwas
goingbackt oschool today ..
r eali
tywaski cki ng
i
n.Iputoneofmybestsmi lesasal way sand
onceagai npretendedt obeokwhenIknow
deepdownsl owlyandsur elyI '
m dying.I
draggedmybagt ot hesi t
tingr oom wher e
mom, Sam andAl exwer esittingwai ti
ngf orme.
Tshepi ewentbackay esterdaybutDy l
anand
BKwentbackaweekago, appar entlytheyhada
partytheyhadbeeni nv i
tedt oandcoul dn' tjust
dr
opi
t.
Mom:
ohwmybaby
,youar
egoi
ng.
..
Shestoodupandcamet owardsmeembr acing
mei nat i
ghthug.Isobadwant edtot el
lher
everyt
hing,cryonhershouldersandlethertell
meev erythi
ngisgoingtobeok. .
butthenthe
cryi
nggamesucksasBandi l
esaid.
Ican'thave
mymot herworryaboutmeorany oneelsef or
thatmat t
er.Shebrokethehugandki ssedmy
cheek..
Mom:
Ilov
eyoubabyok?
Ilov
eyousomuch.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oomom.
.
Al
excamet
owar
dsmeandhuggedme.
Her:
Ihopey
oudeal
wit
hwhat
everbot
her
ing
you.
.
Shewhi
sper
edsof
tl
yinmyear
..
Her
:becauseIdontwantt
olosey
ou.
.
Thenshebr
oket
hehug,
shehadt
ear
s
streaming.Ilookedawayav oi
dingcryi
ng.Alex
andMom wer enotescor
ti
ngmet otheair
port
today,j
ustSam becauseIdontwantt he
emot i
onalgameatt heai
rport
.Sam tookmy
bagandwentout sidewit
hitasIf ol
l
owedhi m
togetherwithmom andAl ex.
Al
ex:
pleasecal
lme.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
l
Al
ex:
promi
se?
Me:
Ipr
omi
se,
andpass
Al
ex:
donedeal
..
Mom: takecar
eofyourself
,andtel
lyour
t
attooedboyfr
iendt
hatifanythi
nghappenst
o
you,
Iwillmi
xhim wi
thhismot her
..
Il
aughed,
i
fonl
ysheknew.
Igotint
hecarandSam dr
oveawayasIwav
ed
atthem.
Sam:
hey
Me:
hi
Sam:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
I'
mfeel
i
ngok
Sam:theycan'
tseet
hepai
niny
ourey
escan
they
?
Il
ookedathi
mthenchuckl
ed.
.
Me:
not
heycan'
t
Sam:
Inev
erknewt
hisi
showi
twas
Me:
what
?
Sam:Inev
erknewt
hisi
showmuchy
oul
oved
Tat
tooedboy.
.
Me:
ohw
Sam:
your
ememberBont
le.
.
Bontl
ewashishighschool sweetheart
,man
anddidhelov
et hi
sgirlonl
yf orhert
oleavehi
m
wit
hnov al
i
dreason.Hel it
erall
ycri
edfor
her
,di
dn'
teatforher.
.i
twasamess. .
Me:
yeah,
howcanIf
orgether
..
Sam: yeah. .
Ifeltl i
keshewasmywor ld,well
basi call
yshewasbecauseIl ovedherwi th
ev erythingIhadbutshel eft
..Iact uall
yst arted
viewi ngl if
edi fferently,sawt hereal per spective.
Myl i
fehadal way sbeencent er
edar oundher
butassoonasshel eft,Ihadar ealplanofmy
l
ife,apl ant hatwasn' tcent eredar oundheror
any oneel sef ort hatmat t
er.I'
m notsay i
ngI '
m
happyf ort haty ouandBandi l
ehav ebr oken
up, I
'
m hur tbecausei tseemsl i
keI 'ml osingmy
sister..Thi sbr eakupi shurtingy ou,kil
lingy ou
thati tsnotev enf unnyany mor ebutt hent his
breakupi ssupposedt oshowy out heway ..t
hat
from her ethenwhat 'snext .
.Iknowy oudeci ded
toschool atUJbecauseofBandi le,
soy ouguy s
canbecl osert oeachot herbutnowwhat ?You
needt ohav ey ourownpl anapar tfr
om Bandi le
Thul ani,ther eal plant hatyoucanal way sgo
to..t
hi sisnott heendoft hewor l
d..Iknowi t
mi ghtf eel l
ikei tbuti tsnot..youar est il
l
young, yourf utureawai tsyou..t
hisi sjustt he
start,
youst i
llhav eal ongwayt or unandy ouar e
bright,beautiful (
hesai dtaki
ngof fthe
spect acles)v ibrant.
.may betoor eserv edand
fr
agi l
ebutt hat swhatmakesy ouspeci al
..Cryif
youwantt o,crybecausey oucanandnobody
shoul dst opy ou. .
cryloudifthatst hecase, cr
y
babyornot ,
weakornotcr ybecausey oucan. .i
f
otherpeopl ear estrongandcan' tcryl etthem
buty ouar est r
ongi ny ourownwayandy ouar e
goingt ocryi fyouf eelli
keit.
.ok?cr y.
.cryi
ng
helpssocr y
..youar enotgoi ngt ochangef or
any oneKr i
s..Youar eKrisandt hatsal lyouwi ll
everbe. .
Bythetimehewasdonet ear
swer
estr
eaming,
hehuggedmebecausenowwehadpar kedat
theair
port
,ti
ght
lyhehuggedmeasIcr
iedon
hisshoul
der.
Hehuggedmeunt
ilIcal
meddown.
.
Hi
m:f
eel
bet
terr
ight
?
Ichuckl
ednoddi
ng.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Ismi
l
ed,
IguessIneededt
hat
..
Him:rememberBandi
l
eThul
anii
snotyour
l
ife,
you,
Kri
sti
nThompsonMacv
erdana,
youar
e
yourownli
fe..
Me:
yes
Hi
m:sayi
t.
.
Me:
I,
Kri
sti
nThompsonMacv
erdana,
Iam my
ownl
ife
Hi
m:sayBandi
l
eThul
ani
isnotmyl
i
fe
Me:
Bandi
l
eThul
ani
you.
.y
ounotmyl
i
fe
Him:Iknowi t
shar dbutthatsy ourmott
of ort
his
semester..Thelastsemest er
..That'
syour
motto..
fortherestofthey ear
..youareyourown
l
ife.
.
Hewi
pedawaymyt
ear
s..
Me:
nowI
tsmyt
urnt
oask.
.what
'
swr
ong?
Him:dontwor
ryaboutme,
I
'mi
ndeepshi
tbut
I
'm safe
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor e,
nowgogett
hatdegr
ee
At
tor
neyMacv
erdana
Welaughedbef
orewesteppedoutoft
hecar
.
Hewenttothebootandtookmybag.We
wal
kedinsi
dehandinhand.
Him:I
'
mtaki
ngt
her
estoft
hey
earasagap
year
..
Me:
Iwi
shIwasy
ou
Hi
m:no.
.wi
shy
ouwer
eal
readyanat
tor
ney
..
Me:
okDrThompson
Hi
m:yes.
.Rememberyou,
Kri
sti
nThompson
Macv
erdana,
youarey
ourownl i
fe.
Me:
I,
Krist
inThompsonMacv
erdana,
Iam my
ownl
ife..
.
SAM
.
Hi
m:l
ikewhatexact
ly?Encour
agi
ngheragai
nst
me?
Me:aiiBandi
le,notev
ery
thi
ngi
sabout
you.
.kanteKengkawenaso?Omodi mo
wena?nxla!(
areyouGod?)
Him:youknowI'
m nott
ryi
ngtohurty
oursi
ster
..
I
tsjustforawhi
leti
l
lever
ythi
nghaswentt
o
normal
Me: killwhoeveryouwantt oki
ll,
j
ustkeepmy
sisteroutofi tbecausewewi l
lhaveaserious
probl em..Ididn'
tencourageheragainsty
ou,j
ust
toldhert oliv
eherownl ifewhichisnot
cent eredaroundany one
Hi
m:how'
sshe?
Me:
Il
astsawher2daysago,
l
asttal
kedt
ohera
f
ewminutesagoandshe'
sokIguess
Hi
m:ok.
.
Me:yeahbutifi
tmakesyoufeel
bettershedoes
l
ovey oubutIsti
l
lhat
eyou.
.andpleasedont
st
alkmysi st
er!
Isai
dasIhungup.
Ithrewmyphoneont hebed,andtookmy
wirelessphoneandcall
edLizzy.
.Thisi
sthe
ti
meIusual lycal
lher
..
Her
:Sam!
Me:
hey
Her
:howar
eyou?
Me:
nohowar
eyou?
Her
:I
'm ok,
Henolongersuspect
sanyt
hing.
.wel
l
hedoesbuthedoesn'
tthinki
tsyou
Me:
i
shest
il
lbeat
ingy
ou?
Her
:no.
.howi
syou?Howar
eyouImean.
.
Me:I
'
m ok,
Ithi
nkI'
m goi
ngtosti
ckar
oundt
his
si
deunti
lev
erythi
nghasset
tl
ed..
Her
:ok,
ohwl
ookIhav
etogoby
e
Me:
bye.
.
ThenIhungup,It
hrewmy sel
fonmybedand
rel
axed.
.Rel
iefbr
ushedalloverme.Get
ti
ngon
Tayl
or'
swrongsideofthebookisn'
tsomethi
ng
Iwant.
.Mom bangedinmyr oom..
Me:
Bat
hongmma,
knocki
ngnev
erki
l
ledany
one.
.
Her
:sor
rybuthow'
sKr
is?
Me:
youdi
dn'
tcal
lhert
oday
?
Her
:Idi
d,j
ustt
haty
ouknowshesnotopenwi
th
me
Me:becausey
ouareupt
ightwit
hher
,rel
axa
l
it
tl
e..Shesgr
owi
ngandy oucan'
tst
opthat
..
Her
:Iknowj
ustt
hatshe'
smydaught
er,
oldest
Me:st
il
lbutshesokt
oday
,shewentt
oschool
andevery
thi
ngwasok
Her
:Ical
l
edDrTerence,
hewi
l
lgi
veherav
isi
t
t
odaytocheckonher
Me:
shehasboy
fri
endwoman!
Her:
yes,butIjustneedtoknowhow'
smy
daughter,
issheeating?
Me:
yes,
Ical
l
edLeah.
.sheat
e
Her
:ummhdi
dshehav
eaheadache?
Me:nowyouar
ebei
ngmyheadachebutnoshe
di
dn'thav
e
Her
:ok,
thanky
ou
Me:shesmysi
stermom.
.kant
eMmehel
aona
ser
iousnot
ewhere'
smydad?
Iblur
tedout,
Ididn'
treal
izethosewor
ds
escapedmymout h.
.shelookedatme
shocked.
.per
plexedrather.
.
Her
:ummhhe.
.uhh
Me:
i
shedead?
Her
:no.
.
Her
:goodnowIwantt
omeethi
m..
.
KRI
S
.
Isatdownatt heback, t
helecturewasaboutto
startandAvewasn' tinyet.Bei
ngbackthissi
de
wasr aw,t
hepainwasn' tcautedbyanysugar..I
hadt heedgeofgoi ngtoBandi l
eshousebutI
decidedagainstit
..Itwasjustgoingt
ohurtme
attheendofi t
.WhenIar r
ived,
Leahwaswai t
ing
formeatt heairport.
"Ishoul
dhav
ebeent
her
e"shesai
dhuggi
ngme..
Shewenthomeafewweeksbef
oreweopened.
"I
tsok,pl
usIfeelbett
ernow.
.how'
sQ?"Iasked
knowingverywellshewil
lst
opbeingpi
tyon
me..
herey esl
itwhenshetal
kedaboutQ..
"Het
ookmet
oDur
ban"shesai
daswedr
ove
home.
.
"
Howwasi
t?"Iasked
"Well
apar
tfr
om thatspoi
l
edbit
chhecal
lshi
s
si
ster,
i
twasok"shesai
dannoy
edmakingme
l
augh
"
Shehat
esy
ou?
"
"
No,
Ihat
eher
"
AndthatsLeahf ory ou,unlikemeherhol iday
wasnor malandt hatswhenIdeci ded.
.IfIcan't
behappyaboutmyownl ifeIwi llbehappyf or
her,
li
veinherhappi ness.Myey esdar t
edt ot he
doorasAv egotinandhur r i
edt owar dsme.As
shesatdownt hel ecturergotin, someear l
y30's
woman, ni
cefi
gur edbody ,bootyf ordays,dark
butverybeauti
ful,at r
uesi gnif
icantofar eal
Afr
icanwoman.
Her
:andweback!
Av
e:whydoesshehav
ethatf
atass.
.
Il
aughedsof
tl
y,t
ryi
ngnotmakenoi
se.
.
Me:
youwer
eal
mostl
ate.
.
Av
e:Icoul
dn'
tfi
ndmypur
plel
i
pst
ick.
.
Me:
ok,
how'
sMJ?
Av
e:ok
Me:
youdontsoundhappy
Av
e:Ij
ust
..
Idontknow.
.Don'
tfeel
him any
mor
e
Me:
aowwgi
rldontsayt
hat
..
hel
ovesy
ou
Ave:
Idontknow,
Isawy
ourboy
fri
endy
est
erday
atwork.
.
Me:
oh,
howwashe?
Ave:
hotasusual
.
.ButScar
ry,
howdoy
ou
surv
ivewi
thhim?
Me:
ok.
.
Ihav
en'
ttol
dherwebr
okeup.
.
Ave:
aii
..
butJesusdoeshehav
eabr
otherout
ther
e?he'
sreal
lyhot
..
Me:
ok,
doy
ouhav
eal
i
ttl
ecr
ushonhi
m?
Shel
aughed
Her:
what?no..
ofcausenot,
Irespecty
ouand
yourr
elat
ionshi
p..Wefri
ends
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Iwasj
ustaski
ngnoti
nsi
nuat
ingany
thi
ng.
.
Her
:Iknow,
butIl
i
ket
hisot
herguy
..
Me:
Iwoul
dki
l
lyoui
fyouhav
eacr
ushonhi
m..
Shel
ookedatmewi
thhermout
hopen.
.
Her
:what
?
Me:
Iwoul
dki
l
lify
ouhav
eacr
ushonBandi
l
e!
Shelookedatmebef
orel
aughi
ngmaki
ngme
j
oinher.
.
"OkMi ssKrist
inMacv erdanaandMissAvi
s
Ndamo, It
hinky ouwouldl i
ketol
eadthe
discussi
onf orthi
slesson,comeonf or
war
d"
Wel
ookedatherasshesai
dthat
..
Av
e:f
ucki
t!
Me:
wef
ucked.
.
Her
:comeonl
adi
es,
bef
ast
..
*
***
***
***
***
***
**
Iwalkedinsi
det
hef
lat
,exhaust
ed.
.Leahwas
watchingTv.
.
Her
:youl
ookl
i
keshi
t
Me:
thi
swast
heshi
tt
iestdayIhav
eev
erhad.
.
Isai
dwalki
ngt
othef
ri
dgeandt
aki
ngabot
tl
e
ofwater
..
Her
:t
ell
meabouti
t.
.Igotanungr
adedonmy
l
astqui
z..
Il
aughed.
Me:wel
lbecauseIwasmaki
ngnoisethe
l
ectur
ermademeandAv estandi
nfrontoft
he
cl
assandleadit
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:i
tsnotourdayi
sit
?
Me:
def
inat
lynot
..
Ithi
nkAv
ishasacr
ushon
Ndi
l
e
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Her
:Inot
iced.
.Ihopey
out
oldherwher
etoget
of
f
Me:
meandAndi
l
ebr
okeup.
.
Her
:youst
il
ll
ovehi
m..
Me:
shi
t!
Ifor
gotmychocol
atei
nthecar
..
Her
:youeatcakessomucht
hisday
s..
Me:
I'
m st
resseat
ing.
.
Isai
dwalkingout.
.Iwentdowntothegarage
andtookthecake..ButasIwasst
ill
doingthat
someladycamet owardsme..
Her
:Kr
ist
inMacv
erdana.
.
Shesai
d,anditdi
dn'tt
akememucht i
met o
knowher..
shewast heladydetect
ivethatonce
cameatBandileshouse..
searchi
ngfordrugs..
Me:
det
ect
ive.
.
Her
:gl
ady
our
ememberme.
.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Her
:I
'm her
etoseemycousi
n,butIt
hinki
ts
act
ual
l
ygoodt
hatIsawy
ou
Me:
oh.
.
Her
:yes,
how'
syourcr
imi
nal
boy
fri
end?
Me:
ok
Her
:he'
sawomanbeat
er.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
real
l
y?
Her
:yes,
askhi
sexf
iancé
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
.
Her
:youneedt
oexcusey
our
sel
ffr
om hi
m..
Il
ookedatherwi
thmyey
ebr
owr
aised.
.
Me:
yourcousi
niswai
ti
ngf
ory
ou.
.
Isai
dwalki
ngaway
,shoul
dn'
tshebecat
chi
ng
cri
minal
s.
Iwal
kedi
nsi
det
heel
evat
or.
.
"
Iwouldn'
tmindapi
eceoft
hat
"av
oicesai
d
maki
ngmet urn.
.
Me:
Doct
orTer
ence!
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
I
tsmybirt
hdayt odayguys,
soImightornot
postt
oday.
.I'
m celebr
ati
ngli
fe!
success!Lol
s
Marakalerata
[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t43
KRI
S
.
.
Hehadhisey
ebrowr ai
sed,
wit
hasmi l
e
pl
ast
eredonhisf
ace.Invol
unt
aryIsmi
ledback.
.
Me:
Idon'
tdoshar
ing.
..
Hi
m:compr
omi
sing?
Me:
eit
her
..Idontdocompr
omi
ses.
.
Hi
m:t
oughcooki
efort
hecake?
Me:
Ithi
nky
oumi
ghtaswel
lmegi
veanA*on
t
hat
..
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:howhav
eyoubeen?
Me:
Ihav
ebeengood,
youseei
ngsomeoneher
e?
Hi
m:y
es,
you.
.
Me:
me?
Hi
m:y
eahy
ou.
.
Me:
I'
mlost
Him:
ok,
Ihat
etosayt
hisbut
..
promi
sey
ouwon'
t
bemad?
Me:
Ipr
omi
se
Hi
m:y
oumeani
tri
ght
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:ok,bef
oreIsayit
..
Iwantt
otakey
ououtf
or
di
nner
,asafri
end..
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
ummmhIal
readyhav
ecompany
..
Hi
m:Leah?
Iknow.
.wewon'
tbel
ong
Me:
IdontknowI
..
-
Hi
m:pl
ease.
.
Me:shoul
dn'
tyoubewithy
ourf
ami
l
y..
.Gi
rl
fr
iend
orsomethi
ngli
kethat
?
Hi
m:Ishoul
dbutIhav
edeci
dedt
obeher
e
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:wel
lyourmot
her
..
Me:
ri
ght
!
Hi
m:dontbemad
Me:
I'
m not
,j
ustsur
pri
sedshewoul
ddot
hat
..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.wher
e'sy
ourhusband?
Me:
wel
lyouknowhowt
hist
hingsar
e..
Wewer
eout
sidet
heel
evat
ornow.
.
Me:
l
etmeputt
hiscakei
nsi
de.
.
Wewal kedinside,Leahhadabucketofice
cream watchi
ngt v.Herey esmetmineassoon
aswegoti nside,butthenshif
tedtoDrTer
ence.
.
Icouldn'
treal
lyforethoughtwhatshewas
probablyt
hinking.
.
Me:
ummhDrTer
ence.
.-
Hi
m:Khany
a
Me:
yes,thi
sisKhany
aandKhany
athat
sLeah
myfr
iend..
Hi
m:ni
cet
omeety
ouLeah
Leah:
yeah,
didshet
ell
youshesi
nar
elat
ionshi
p?
Me:
Leah.
.
Hi
m:noi
tsok.
.
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Iwal
kedt
ot heki
tchenandpl
acedt
hecaket
hen
i
mmediat
elycameback.
Leah:
whatdoy
ouwantf
rom Kr
is?
Me:
ummhLeahcomeher
e..
Shel
ookedatme,
thenst
oodup.Wewal
kedt
o
mybedroom.
.
Me:
mom senthi
m her
e
Leah:
what
?
Me:
yeahsopl
ease.
.It
snothi
sfaul
t
Leah:
hel
i
kesy
ou
Me:
nohedoesn'
t.
.LookI
'
m goi
ngoutwi
thhi
m..
Isai
dwalki
ngt
omycl
osetandwear
ingmy
pumps.
Leah:y
ouandBandi
l
earejust.
.t
aki
ngabreak
not.
.God!
he'
sgoi
ngtoki
l
lthisKenyaguyof
yours
Me:hi
snamei sKhany
a..Andit
sjustan
i
nnocentouti
ng.
.AndBandil
eandIbr okeup.
.he
sai
dlet'
sbreakup
Leah:
becauseyouweredri
vi
nghim cr
azy.
.y
ou
werethr
owingafeetandal
lhewantedandsti
l
l
want
sist
opr
otecty
ouf
rom hi
senemi
es.
.
Me:lookwewil
ldi
scussthatsomeotherday
,I
seewehav edi
ff
erentopi
nionsbutf
ornowlet'
s
agreetodi
sagr
ee
Leah:
hel
ovesyouforcr
yingoutl
oudand.
..
thi
s
i
sgoingt
ohurthi
m
Me:i
tsbeenweeks..
Ihav
etr
iedcal
li
ng.
.It
snot
worki
ng,hedoesn'
twantmeok..
nowIhaveto
go.
.
Itookmypacet
henwalkedbacktothesi
tt
ing
room,Khany
awassi
tt
ingonthecouchnow..
Hi
m:r
eady
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Leahwaslooki
ngatmewit
hdisappr
oval
,
I
l
ookedatKhanyawhowasalr
eadyup.
Me:
l
et'
sgo.
.
Wewal
kedt
otheel
evat
or.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.sosor
ry
Hi
m:i
tsok.
.
Themomentwegott
othegar
agehetookmy
handandl
edmetohi
scar,
someVol
vo.
HeopenedthedoorformeandIgoti
n.He
wal
kedtotheothersi
deandgoti
n.
Hi
m:Ihopey
oueatSeaf
ood.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Me:
i
twasr
eal
l
yni
ce.
.
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Me:
Ihav
enev
erdr
ankwi
nebef
ore
Hi
m:i
twasy
ourf
ir
stt
imet
oday
?
Me:
yeahbuti
ttast
edni
ce.
.t
hanky
ou
Hi
m:any
thi
ngt
oseet
hatsmi
l
e..
Wewer ewalki
ngtowardshi
scarwhi
chwas
oneblockawayfr
om theSeafoodr
estaur
anthe
hadtakenmeto.
Me:
Ireal
l
yenj
oyedmy
sel
f.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ad.
.
Hehel dmyhandaswewal kedbetweencarst
o
hi
scar .Asweappr oachedhiscarIsawSeth
comingt owardsourway ,
Isawhimf i
rst
becausehewasbusyonhi sphonebutthe
momenther aisedhi
sheadourey es.
.He
stoppedr i
ghtinfr
ontofus..
Set
h:Kr
ist
in
Me:
hey
Set
hnoddedhi
sheadt
oKhany
awhodi
dthe
same.
Set
h:Wow!
ummhhowar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m..
ok
Set
h:ok,
ni
ceseei
ngy
ouagai
n..
Inoddedjustbeforehewalkedaway ,andthat
momentIst art
edf eel
inggui
lt
y .
.Ikepttryi
ngto
tel
lmysel
fI '
m doingnothi
ngwr ong..Idid
nothi
ngwr ongbutdeepdownIknowhewon' t
l
ikeit
..
Bandilewon'tli
kethi
s..
.butthenwhy
shoul
dIcar
e?
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Khany
aaskedaswewer
enowgoi
nghome.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Him:eversi
ncewemett
hatguy
..
youhav
e
been..
off
Me:I
'
m sorr
y,j
usther
emi
ndedmeof
somethi
ng.
.
Hi
m:good?
bad?
Me:
Idontknow.
.badIt
hink
Hi
m:y
ourhusband?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:t
hiswasinnocent
,ther
e'snoneedf
orHi
m
t
othr
owaf eet
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Hedr
ovei
nsi
det
hegar
ageandpar
kedhi
scar
..
Him:Iwi
l
lseeyousomeot
hert
ime,
pleaset
ake
careofy
oursel
f
Me:
Iwi
l
landt
hanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
ewel
come.
.
Iwav
edathim asIrushedtotheel
evat
or.
.The
momentigoti
nsidethefl
at,
Leahwasstil
lup.
.
Leah:
2hour
s?
Me:
cal
m down.
.
Leah:
ohGod.
.whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?
Me:mom senthi
m,she'
skeepi
ngt
absonme.
.I
coul
dn'
tj
ustdropit
Leah:
ok.
.howwasi
tei
therway
?
Me:hedi
dn'thi
tonme,
youcanr
elaxnow.
.I
'
m
goi
ngtosleep.
.
Leah:
I'
m sor
ry
Shecamehuggedme.
.
Me:i
tsok..
Ijustwannal
i
vemyl
i
fe.
.wi
thno
st
ress.
.j
ustpeace
Leah:
ok.
.butIdontl
i
kehi
m
Me:
youar
enotexpect
edt
o..
whatar
ewe
wat
chi
ng?
Isai
dsi
tt
ingdown.
.
Her
:somer
om com.
.
Shesatbesidesmeandwewatchedthe
ri
dicul
ousshowshewaswatchi
ng..Wel
lIdi
d
becauseshewasbusyonherphone.
.
Thef oll
owingdayIwokeupabi tearl
y,cl
eaned
thehouse.Leahwasst i
llsl
eepi
ng.After
cleaningthehouseIwentt othekit
chen,tostart
cookingbr eakf
ast.LeahemergedasIwasst ill
analysingthefri
dge..
Her
:mor
ning.
.
Me:
hey
Her
:ohGod,
I
'm sohungr
ywhat
scooki
ng?
Me:
wel
lappar
ent
lynot
hingbecauset
hef
ri
dge
i
sempt
y..
Her
:t
imef
orshoppi
ng?
Me:
yeahpl
usi
tsSat
urday
..I
'
llgobat
h..
Her
:ok.
.
Iwentandt ookashower ,awelldeser v
ed
showerletti
ngmymi ndcar essy
est erday'
s
event
s.Khany a.
..
Seth..IwonderifSet hhas
alr
eadyt ol
dBandi l
e,orI'mjuststressingmy sel
f
overnothing..Heprobabl ycaughtthenexthot
thi
ng..IchuckledasIcoul dmyf eel myey es
alr
eadymi st.Whot hef uckam Ifool i
ng?it
hurt
s..myhear thurt
s..
"
howmanyt
imesmustIt
ell
youIl
ovey
ou?
"
"
I'
m sor
ry,
pleasedontl
eav
e..
please.
."
Mymindreplay
edt hewor
dsov erandov eri
n
myhead..
thememor ymadetearscascade
downmycheeks.Mebegginghi m,beggi
ngfor
hi
slov
e..I
thurt
,Ishutmyeyestightl
y,st
opping
thetears.Aft
erawhi leIwal kedoutoutt he
bathroom andwentt omyr oom. Istoodi nfront
ofthemi rr
orjustlookingatmyr efl
ection,my
hairwasunpl ai
tedandwasabi tcurlyandsof t
,I
tookoffthetheey econt act
sandbl i
nkeda
coupletimes,myshor tnessannoy edmeandmy
brownishtogol dhair,
thenIputbackt he
contacts.Moment slateritookoutmyj eans,aT
-shi
rtandasIwast akingoutmyconv erseLeah
gotinmyr oom. .Shehadat owel overherwet
bodymaki ngmer eal
iseIstoodi nfrontoft he
mi r
rorforalongtimepr obably.
Her
:younotwear
ingthat
,t
odaywenothi
ding
t
hatGodsentbody.
.
Me:
Leah.
.-
Her
:no!
Shewenttomycl oset,t
ookoutoneofmyv er
y
hat
edjeans.Ihat
et hatJeanbecauseifmakes
mefeelexposedmaki ngpeopl
elookatmei na
waythatmakesmeuncomf ort
able.
.It
svery
ti
ght
,shethentookoutmyl
ongsl
eev
edsil
ky
seethroughshir
t,
wit
hsome6i
nchsi
l
ver
heel
s,wit
habr a.
Her
:weart
his.
.andwai
tforme.
.
Me:Leahthi
sisj
ustgoi
ngmakemedr
aw
unwantedatt
ent
ion.
.
Her
:weari
tnow!
Shesai
dleav
ing.Ihaveneverseenacont
rol
fr
eakmorecontr
oll
ingthanLeah.
Iwor
ethejeansandtop,
toget
herwi
tht
heheel
s.
Myfi
gurewasfull
yexposed.
Leahcamebackaf
terIwasf
ull
ydr
essed.
Her
:t
ucki
nthatshi
rt
..
Isi
ghedasIt
uckediti
n,
ther
ewasnowayIwas
goi
ngtowinonthi
sone.
20minut
esl at
er,
mynail
swer epaint
ed,andshe
hadappl
iedmeabi tofmakeupandal sofi
xed
myhair
.Ireall
ydidl
ookbeauti
ful
orsot osay.
Her
:nowt
ake.
.
Shehandmemyl
i
ghtpur
plet
opi
nki
shGucci
handbag.
Her
:t
her
ewego.
.
Me:
thanks.
.
Her
:ok,
l
etmegoandchange.
.
ShewalkedoutLeavi
ngmeput
ti
ngmypace
i
nsidet
hebagt oget
herwi
thmyphone.
Aftersomet imeIwal kedoutt oherroom,she
wasont hehair
dressert ableput t
ingonmake
up.Af t
erawhi l
eshest oodup, shewasi na
formal highwesttr
ousert hatrevi
ewedher
curvesandass, wi
thaLaceyt optuckedinanda
blackblock6inchheel .Shel etherstrai
ght
ened
hairfal
l onhershoulder s.Shest i
l
l l
ookedtal
l
er
thanme.
Her
:sl
ayqueens.
.
Shesai
dasshet
ookami
rr
orsel
fi
eofus.
Me:Idon'
tknowbutt
hewayyouhavedressed
us,
i
tseemsl i
kewenotgoi
ngtobuygr
ocery..
Shel
aughed
Her:
there'
snot
hingwr
ongwi
thj
ustl
ooki
ng
good..
Me:
okl
et'
sgo.
.
Isai
dwal
ki
ngout
,shef
oll
owedmeout
.
Wewenttotheel
evatort
hendowntot
he
gar
age.Aswewalkedtomycarshest
opped
me.
Her
:Kr
iswai
t.
.
Me:
yeah?
Her
:ummhQi
scomi
ngt
opi
ckusup
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
he'
staki
ngusf
orshoppi
ng?
Her
:yes.
.
Me:
no.
.nonono!
Her
:pl
ease.
.
Me:
no!
what
'sgoi
ngon?
Her
:not
hingj
ust
..
-Godhe'
sher
elet
'sgo
If
oll
owedherey
esandIsawQ'
scar
.
Me:
gowithyourboy
fri
endandhav
efun.
.Iwi
l
l
gof
orshoppi
ng
Her
:Kr
ispl
ease
Me:I
'm beingser
ious,
Iwi
l
lgobuygr
ocer
y,dont
sweatit.
.nowgo
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Iwal kedt omycaranddr oveawayleavingher
there.Thel astthi
ngIwantisbeingathird
wheel andbeinguncomf or
tabl
e.Idrovetothe
mal l
,tookmybagt henwalkedinsi
dethemal l
.I
wassof amished.Igoti
ntomugandbean. After
placingmyor derIscrol
l
edthroughmyphone
onFacebook.
"
Ithi
nkIwokeupatt
her
ightsi
deoft
hebed
t
oday
"av
oicesai
dmaki
ngmet
urn.
Me:
Khany
a!
Hi
m:hey
..
Hesatdown.
Me:
coi
nci
dence?
Hi
m:I
'
m nost
alker
..
Me:
gladt
ohear
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m good.
.y
ou?
Him:I
'm ok,Iusual
lycomeheref
ortheysel
lthe
bestcoffee,wel
laccordi
ngt
omet heydo..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:
thanky
ou.
.ar
eyousur
eyou28?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:whydoy
ousayt
hat
?
Me:
youl
ooky
oung.
.Tooy
oung
Hi
m:Igett
hatal
otbuty
es,
I
'm 28
Me:
yourgenes!
Hel
aughed.
.
Aft
erweat e,
heof f
eredwegobuytoget
her,
he
wantedtogetaf ewt i
psonhowtoshop
becauseapparentl
yheneverdoest
hatalot
,he'
s
hel
perdoesitforhim.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Me:
done!
Isai
daswef
ini
shedput
ti
ngt
hegr
ocer
yint
he
boot
.
Hi
m:wow!
nev
erknewshoppi
ngcoul
dbet
his
f
un..
Me:
ohpl
ease,
i
tsnotf
un
Hi
m:Iwoul
ddi
sagr
eet
othat
..
Me:
tr
ydoi
ngi
tony
ourown.
.
Helaughedbuthi
slaughingsei
zedwhena
del
iver
yguycamet owardsusholdi
nga
bouquetofr
edroses.
Hi
m:Mi
ssMacv
erdana?
Me:
yes,
howcanIhel
p?
Hi
m:pl
easesi
gnher
emam.
.
Isi
gnedt henhegavemetheflower
s,t
hey
smeltgood.Therewasanote,
myheartski
pped
asireal
iseditwasanot
escribbl
edinBandi
les
handwri
ting.
"Youlookdiffer
enttoday,gooddiff
erence,
beautif
ultobeexact..Andcany out el
lthatguy
tostopbeingallovery oubecausey ouareMI NE
Krist
in.
.Idontwantt ocatchmur dercase
becauseI'm gett
ingpissed..
Ilov
ey ou"
Irer
eadthenoteacoupleofti
mesandev er
y
ti
meIreaditmyheartmelted.Ifel
tlikeahigh
schoolgi
rlwhojustr
ecei
vedal oveletterf
rom
mycrush.Andforamomentt
hereIchoset
o
i
gnor
et hefactt
hatwebr
okeup.
Khany
a:and?
IshookmyheadasIpl
acedt
hef
lower
satt
he
backseat
.
Me:
wher
ewer
ewe?
Him:
shoppi
ng?
youknowInev
err
eal
l
ynot
iced
youhav
edimpl
es.
.
Ishy
lysmi
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:t
heymakey
ouext
rabeaut
if
ul.
.
I
'
m sur
emyf
acet
urnedr
ed.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.UmmhIshoul
dgetgoi
ng.
.
Hi
m:y
eah,
besaf
e
Me:
ok.
.
Iwalkedt
ot hedri
ver
sseat
,st
artedmycarand
drov
eaway .Aft
erparki
ngmycar ,
Iwenttothe
boot,
andtooksomeshoppingbags..Ihad
boughtal
otoft hi
ngsandbylookingatthe
shoppingbagsIwasgoingtotaketwotripst
o
puteveryt
hingi
nthehouse.AsIwasst i
ll
cl
osingthebootsomebodyheldit
.Ilooked
back,
itwasLebo.
Me:
hey
..
Her
:hi
..
howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m goody
ou?
Her
:Ican'
tsayt
hesame.
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Her:
i
tsalongst
oryt
hatIr
eal
l
ywantt
otal
kto
youabout
..
Me:
ohw.
.
Her
:yeah,
l
etmehel
pyou.
.
Wet ookal ltheshoppingbagsandplacedthem
i
nt helif
t,
thenqui ckl
yIwentbacktothe
car,t
ookt hef l
owersandmyhandbagandwent
backt otheliftaft
erlocki
ngmycar.After
placi
ngev er
y t
hingintheki
tchenwesatdownin
t
hesi
tt
ingr
oom.
Her
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Shesai
dasItookof
ftheheel
swhi
chwer
e
hur
ti
ngmyfeetnow.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Her:
ummhIgotacal
lfr
om Leahaf
ewmi
nut
es
ago.
.
Me:
ohw.
.
Her:
yeah,
butIt
alkedt
oherboy
fri
end.
.Shesai
d
Leahhadaasthmaattack.
Someti
mesIforgett
hatLeahhasast
hma.My
hear
tracedasshesai
dthat.
.
Me:
i
ssheoknow?
Her:
hedoesn'
tthi
nkso,
theysai
dtheywanther
ast
hmati
cspray..
Istoodandrushedtoherroom,
sear
chedf
orher
asthmati
cspraythenwenttobackt
othesi
tt
ing
room andquickl
yworetheheel
sagai
n.
Me:whyaretheynott
aki
nghert
othe
hospi
tal
?where'
sshenow?
Her:
shedoesn'
twantt
ogotothehospi
tal
.
.He
sai
dtheyareat
..
.ummhBandi
l
eshouse
Me:
ohGod!
let
'sgo.
.
Igrabbedmyphoner
ushi
ngout
side.She
fol
l
owedbehindme.
Her
:youwi
l
ltel
lmehowi
twent
Me:
ok.
.
Iracedt othelift
.Nev erhaveIev erdrovefast
l
ikeIdid,IswearIwasgoi ngt ogeti nacar
accident.Itri
edcallingherbutherphonewas
ri
ngingunanswer ed.Arri
v i
ngatBandi l
eshouse
Iswearmymoodwentf rom 0°cofbei ngscared
to-100°cofbei nghi ghl
yangr yandannoy ed.
Leahwassi tti
ngonQ' slapwhi l
esmoochi ng
eachot her.Myey escaughtgl impseofThabi
andLesedi andKar aboIthink..Theothergirl
I
hadf or
got t
enhername, thenther estofthe
guysheonceint
roducedmetowhenIcame
herewit
hLeah.Thei
reyeswereonmenowbut
Icoul
dn'
tseeBandil
e.Leahst
oodupandcame
towar
dsme.
Her
:getof
fthecar
Me:
Iseeast
hmahasanewv
ersi
onofat
tack
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:Ihadt
ogety
ouher
e
Me:
yeahandnowI
'
m goi
ngback.
.
Her
:Kr
ispl
ease,
i
tsQ'
sbi
rt
hday
Me:
ohGoodf
orhi
m..
Her
:pl
ease.
.
Rel
uct
antl
yi gotofft
hecar,
annoy
edtothe
ful
l
est
,I
'
m sur eIhadevenbr
okenthescal
eof
bei
ngannoyed.
Wewal
kedt
othecr
owd.
.
Leah:
ummhguy s,
yousti
ll
rememberKr
is
ri
ght?
thel
adyofthehouse..
Il
aughedal
aughf
ull
ofsar
casm.
.
Shel
ookedatmemaki
ngmest
opl
aughi
ng.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:andKrisyoust
il
lremember
Kar
abo,Thabi
,
LesediandThat
ori
ght
?
Shesaidpoi
nti
ngatt
hel
adi
eswhosmi
l
edat
me,ev
enLesedidi
d,
Ismi
l
edback.
Her:
andalsoQobv i
ousl
yoverther
eand
Senzeni
,
Max,Set
h,KGandlast
lyThori
so.
.
Thor
iso:
fucky
oust
il
lhot
..
KG:Iev
enwonderhowBandi l
eiswit
hyou,
you
ar
edef i
nat
lynothi
sleague.
.Yousobeaut
if
ul.
.
Lesedi
:
Iagr
ee.
.
Iblushed.
.AsIwasstil
lturni
ngr edIfel
thands
onmywai stmaki
ngmegasp, hisColognef i
ll
ed
mynost ri
l
sandmybodysubj ectedtohistouch
maki ngmeshiver
.GodknowshowmuchI
cravedforhist
ouch,
Ifelthisbreathagainstmy
neckmaki ngmeholdmybr eathfol
lowedbyhi s
wetl i
psonmyneckunder br
ingingmybody ,
my
bodywasunderhi ssubj
ecti
onwai t
ingpatientl
y
forhisnextmove,
emot i
onswerescat t
eredall
over,Icoul
dn'
tev
enshufflet
hem inorder.The
effecthehadonmewasbey ondwor ds..
.
SAM
.
Me:
didheabandonme?
Her
:no.
.hehadt
ogoandwor
k..
Me:
andt
henwhathappened?Whywashenev
er
t
her
e?
Her
:hegotmar
ri
ed.
.
Me:
doesheknowaboutme?
Her
:yes
Me:
thenwhyi
sn'
theher
e?
Herey
eswer
enowt
urni
ngr
ed,
thel
astt
hingI
wanti
stomakemymom cr
y..
Her
:he'
swifenev
erwantedyou,hegotmarri
ed
i
nanarrangedmarr
iage.
.SoIkeptyouaway
f
rom hi
mt oavoi
dcomplicat
inganyone'
sli
fe.
.
Me:
butIneededhi
m
Her
:Iknow.
.I'
m sor
ry.
.
Me:
Wow
Her:
helovesyou.
.he'st
heonewhosenty out
o
schoolAobakwe.
.yourothername
Aobakwe..
he'st
heonewhonamedy ou.
.hest
he
onewhosuppor t
sy oufi
nancial
l
y..
Me:
what
'
shi
sname?
Her
:AobakweRant
laga.
.andy
ouar
eAobakwe
j
uni
or.
.
Me:kanaMmemay
beIhav
esl
eptwi
thmy
si
bli
ngs..
Her
:hehast
woki
ds,
aboyandagi
rl
..
Lloy
dand
Bel
i
nda..
Me:Iwanttomeethim,maybehecanexplai
nto
mebetter.
.maybeifIgr
ewupwi t
haf at
hermy
l
ifewouldbediff
erent
..
anddontt
ell
meabout
Tayl
or,he'
sthereasonIwentt
oaboar di
ng
school
..
Her
:I
'm sor
ry.
.
Me:
i
tdoesn'
tmat
terany
mor
e..Iwantt
omeet
myfat
her
!
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t44
KRI
S
.
Itookadeepbreath,
tryi
ngnott
olookso
fl
ushed,t
ryi
ngtorecoverfr
om t
heweakness
thathadconsumedme.
Hi
m:hey
..
Hewhi
sper
edsof
tl
y.Leahhadherey
eson
us,
smi
l
ing.
Thabi
:okthat
senough.
.Comel
et'
sgopr
epar
e
thedr
inks.
.
Thabisai
dwalki
ngtowardsmeandgr abbi
ng
myhand.ThatoandKarabofoll
owedusinsi
de
thehouse.Wegott
othekitchenandIcoul
d
fi
nal
lybreat
h.
Kar
abo:
heyKr
is
Me:
hi
Shewentt
othef
ri
dgeandtook3si
xpacksof
hunt
usGol
dwhil
eThat
otook6savana'
s.
That
o:y
ouguy
swi
l
lbr
ingt
hepunch.
.
Thabi
:
yeah.
.
Theywal
kedout
..
Thabi
:
hey
,ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Thabi
:
Iknowwenotf
ri
endsbuty
oucant
alkt
o
meifyouwant
..
Me:Ij
ustdon'
tunder
standwhyLeahwoulddo
thi
s,
Imean..
sheneverli
kedBandi
lebef
ore.
.and
sheknowswhathappenseveryti
me
Thabi
chuckl
ed.
.
Thabi
:
he'
samesswi
thouty
ou
Me:
butheal
way
shur
tsme
Thabi
:ai
n'
tthatl
ove?
Me:
meal
way
scr
yingandhur
ti
ngi
slov
e?
Thabi
:hel
ovesy
ou
Me:It
hinkI
'm bet
teroffwi
thouthi
m
someti
mes,hi
m withoutme..
li
keIfeel
li
keI
'
m
compli
cati
nghisli
fe
Her:stopthinki
ngsolowofy oursel
f.
..Youare
notcompl icati
nghisl
if
e,youaresheddingl
ight
tohislif
e..
henev ersmi
ledwithnoshi t
before..
basical
lyhehadlosthi
shuman
consci
ous
Me:
hesai
dI'
m acr
ybaby
..
heneedsar
eal
woman
Her
:youar
ethewomanf
orhi
m..
Me:youdon'tunder
standdoy ou.
.withBandileI
alwaysfeell
ikehe'
smyl i
fe,
mybr eath,mywor ld
andev er
yti
mesomet hinghappensIwoul djust
feell
i
kedy i
ng,Iseenopointofli
ving..Thatsnot
good,i
tsnotgoodforme
Her:i
tsthesamewi thhi
m,youshouldhaveseen
himforthelastfewweeks..
hehadt ur
nedinto
somet hi
ngelse,
youarethereasonforhi
ssmi l
e
today.
.he'
sli
fest
y l
eputhiminav er
ydangerous
spot..
.youarehisweakness
Me:
hemakesmeweak.
.ohGod!
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:Iknowt
hef
eel
i
ng.
.
Me:
youhav
esomeone?
Her
:yeah.
.had,
he'
snol
ongert
her
e
Me:
youguy
sbr
okeup?
Her
:no.
.hepassedaway
..
caracci
dentay
ear
ago
Me:
I'
m sosor
ry.
.
Her:
i
tssti
llf
resh.
.l
ikeIr
ememberwaki
ng
and.
.and.
.
Shecl
osedherey
es.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Her:
itsok..
hewasmywor ldandIwishedIt old
him hewasmywor ld,IwishItoldhi
m. .he.
.he
al
way stoldmehowmuchhel ovedme, howhis
heartbeatsforme,wellInevertooki
tt hat
seri
ousandt hefir
sttimeIwokeup, i
nourbed
andhewasn' tther
e..i
thurt,
Iknewit.
.Iknewt he
previ
ousnightwast helastti
meandwewer e
fi
ghting.
.
Shewi
pedhert
ear
s..
Her:
Iwishitwasmewhodi ed,
Iwi
shwewer
e
notf
ighti
ng..Iwi
sh.
.Iwi
sh.
.
Iwentovert
oherandhuggedher,
i
tdi
dn'
ttake
muchtimeforhert
ostar
tcry
ing.
.
Her
:i
tshoul
dhav
ebeenme.
.me.
.nothi
m..
itwas
t
oosoon..
Shesli
deont
hef
loor
,iknel
tbef
oreherhuggi
ng
hert
ightl
y
Her:
Ikeephopi
ngIwakeupfrom t
hisnightmare
becausei
t'
sswall
owingme,i
tski
ll
ingme. .
Ijust
can'
tanymore,
Idon'
twantt
odot hisanymor e
Hercrieshitdeepwithinme, Icoul
dhearher
painthroughhercry..Afterawhi l
eshewas
si
lentandIwasr ockingherbackandf or
th,
backforthagainandagai n..Herbodywas
shaki
ng.Somet imesy ounev erknowwhatpain
i
s,whatr eal
painisuntily
ouhearot herpeopl
es
pain.
Af
terawhi
l
ewewer
eint
hebat
hroom andshe
wasWashi
ngherface.Igav
eherat
owel
and
shewi
pedherf
ace..
Her
:t
hanky
ou,
Ineededt
hatcr
y
Me:I'
m her
eforyouifyouneedme. .mybrother
saidyouneedtocryifyouwant .
.crybecause
youcanandallthosewhodon' tcrybecause
theyarest
rong.
.Letthem bebuty ouarestrong
yourownwayandi fcryi
nghelpst hendoso. .
Her
:yeah..
he'
sri
ght
..
weshoul
dgo.
.Ibett
heyar
e
l
ooki
ngf orus.
.
Me:ar
eyousur
e?wecanal
way
schi
l
lher
eify
ou
wantusto.
.
Her
:no.
.I
'
mfi
nel
et'
sgo
Me:
ok
Wewal kedbacktot hekitchenandt ookt
he
punch.It
sfunnyhowInev ernoticedshewas
breaki
ngdeepinside.Event houghshesmi l
ed
butIcouldseethatwasj ustaf r
ont.
Leah:
wewer
eaboutt
ocal
lthesear
chpar
ty.
.
Thabi
:
lol
rel
axcany
ou.
.
Lesedi
:
youguy
sreal
l
ytookl
ong.
.
IavoidedBandi lesey es,
thoughIcouldfeel
them burningme.If ocusedmyat tenti
onon
Thabi,somethingt ol
dmeshewassui cidalandI
fearedforher,
hercal mnessscar edme.Fr om
whatIhav egat heredLesedi seemst obeher
closestfr
iend.Iwal kedtoLesedi asshewas
pouringherselfapunchi naglass.
Me:
hi
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Me:
canIpl
easet
alkt
oyou.
.
Her
:ummhon.
.
Wewal kedbackint
othehousebutIledherto
thebackyardthr
oughthebackdoor.Funny
howIknowt hi
shouseliket
hebackofmyhand.
Her
:what
'sup?
Me:
i
tsThabi
Her
:Thabi
?what
'swr
ongwi
thher
?
Me:
shes.
.sui
cidal
..
Her
:what
?
Me:she.
.she'
ssti
l
lhur
ti
ngov
erherexwho
passesaway..
Her
:Xander
?
Me:
Idontknowbut
..
shesst
il
lhur
ti
ng
Her
:It
houghtaf
tershesawt
hether
api
stshe
wasfi
ne,
shesaidshewasfi
ne
Me:
cl
ear
lyshei
sn'
t.
.Sheneedshel
p
Her
:yeah.
.t
hanky
ouf
orl
ett
ingmeknow
Me:
i
tsbecauseIcar
e
Her:
youhav
eabi ghear
t,nowondert
hat
asswhor
ecoldbust
ardlovesyou.
.
Ichuckl
ed.
.Wewalkedbacktoweret
her
estof
thepeopl
ewer
e,butIcoul
dn'
tseeher
.
Lesedi
:wher
e'sThabi
?
Set
h:shesai
dshehadanemer
gencyt
orunt
o..
Hav ey ouev erbeeni nthatsituationwer ey ou
feelthatsomet hingiswr ong,youcanf eelitin
yourbl ood?Thaty ourheartstar t
sr acing, y
ou
feelsuf f
ocat edandy oufeelsoscar edl i
key ou
knowwhat 'sgoi ngt ohappen, youknowi tbut
youjustdontwantt oaccepti t,
youst i
lljust
wantt ot hinkot herwi sebuty ouknowdeep
downt hatitsov er.ThatshowIf eltthat
moment , IknewThabi wasgoi ngt ohur ther sel
f
butIst il
ldidn' twantt obeliev
ei t,
Icoul dn'tbring
my selftobel iev
ei t.
Lesedi
lookedatme.
.
Me:
whatt
imedi
dshel
eav
e?
Leah:
themomenty
ougoti
nsi
det
hehouse
Lesedi
:shi
tshi
tshi
t!
Me:
wher
ecanshego.
.
Lesedi
:ummhXander
'sf
lat
..
Me:
l
et'
sgo
Lesedif
oll
owedmet omycarandof
fwewent
l
eavingever
yonedumpfol
ded.
AsfastasIcoul
dIdr ovetothefl
atwit
hLesedi
giv
ingmedirect
ions.Getti
nginsi
detheyar
dI
sawacarparked,It
hinkitwasThabi
'scar.
Me:
i
sither
s?
Lesedi
:yeah.
.
Wegotoffthecarandwentst
rai
ghttot
hedoor
buti
twaslocked.Ican'
tev
enbri
ngtowords
howIfel
t.
.
Me:
Thabi
pleaseopenup.
.
Ther
ewasnoresponse,
anditwassosil
ent
.I
wassweati
ngaswetri
edtof
indawaytogetin.
Iwal
kedtomycarandtookt
hefir
eext
ingui
sh.
Me:
l
et'
suset
his.
.
Wehitthedoorwitht
hefi
reexti
ngui
shbuti
t
wasn'
tbulgi
ng,notasi
ngl
ebit.I
twasso
f
rustr
ati
ngnotknowingwhat'
sgoingon.
Lesedi wal kedbackt othecar ,
tookherhandbag
thenempt ieditont hegr ound, mymout hwent
drywhenagunf ellfr
om t hebag. .Idi
dn'task
anyquest i
ons.Sheai medatt hedoorandshot
twice,t
hef irstt
imeshemi ssedbecauseher
handswer eshaki ngbutt hesecondt imeshe
shot,wepushedi twi ththef ir
eext i
nguishandi t
opened.Get ti
ngi nsi
dewer acedtof i
ndher .We
couldn'tfindherany whereunt ilwewentt ot he
bedrooms.I noneoft hebedr oomsshewasi na
bathtubt hatwasf i
ll
edwi t
hwat erwhi chhad
turnedr ed.Iwentov ertoherandpul ledher
heav ybodyout .Shehadcutherwr i
st.Lesedi
wasshaki ngwi thtearsst reaming.
Me:
cal
ltheambul
ance.
.
Justt
henBandi
l
egoti
nwi
thQandLeah.
Leah:
ohmyGod!
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Dr:
shes.
.she'
sinav er
ycri
ti
calcondi
ti
on.She
l
ostalotofblood,
thefol
l
owing24hrsarever
y
cruci
al.
.Wedontknowifshecanmakei
t.
.she
needsGod'
sinter
vent
ion.
Iheldmybr eath,
digesti
ngthenews. .
all
ofthis
i
naf ewmi nutesandnowshesi nherdeathbed.
Istruggledtokeepmysobst ifl
ed,
itwasso
hard..somehowIf eltl
ikeIshouldhavesaved
herorsomet hi
nglikethat.
.Ishoul
dn'thavelef
t
her.
..
Bandi
l
ehel
dmet
ight
lyasIcr
ied.I
thur
t.
Dr:
Iunder
standthi
sisal
ltoughforal
lofyou,
but
hassomeonealert
edherfamil
y,onthi
s?
Q:
yeah.
.
Dr:
itwasact uall
yluckywhichhappened
becausei fyouguy shadn'tf
oundherear li
er,I
don'tknow..t
hisisduet odepression,it'
sfunny
whatitdoes.Somet i
meswhent hingsget stoo
mucht hatyoucan' tevendealwitht hem..your
mindopt sforawayout .Andsomet imesi ts
hard,f
orthesur r
oundingpeoplet onot i
ce
becauset hevict
im managest ohidei t.Therapy
i
susual l
ythewayoutofthi
s,
total
kawayt
he
negati
vethought
s,t
hemindisthemost
dangerousthi
ngever.
.
Lesedi
:
wil
lshebeok?
Dr:
wellwecanonl
ytel
laf
tert
hef
oll
owi
ng
24hrs.
.
Lesedi
:canweseeher
?
Dr
:2mi
nut
esonl
y.
.
Shethenexcusedher
sel
f.Lesedi
andThat
o
walkedawayfoll
owi
ngthedoctor
.
Bandi
l
e:y
ouwannagohome?
Me:
Iwantt
oseeher
..
Bandi
l
e:l
et'
sgo.
.
Wef ol
lowedt hem.Whenwegott otheroom,I
peekedthroughtheglassdoor.Lesediwas
cry
ingbesidesThabi'
sbodywhi chwas
connectedtomachines.Itwasv ery
heart
breakingseei
ngherliket
hat .Ir
etr
eated
f
rom t
hedoor
.
Bandi
l
e:ar
eyouok?
Me:
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgonow
Hetookmyhandandwewentt omycar ,
he
di
dn'tbri
nghiscart
othehospi
tal
.Hegotinthe
dr
iver'
sseatasIsatatt
hepassengerseat
.
Hi
m:ar
eyouhungr
y?
I
twasar
ound1900hr
sbyt
hen.
Me:
no
Him:asf
arasI
'
m concer
nedy
ouhav
en'
teat
en
yet
Me:
I'
m nothungr
y
Hedidn'
tsayanyt
hing,
j
ustdr
ovetohi
shouse.
All
Iwantedwastoclosemyeyesandfor
getal
l
ofthi
shappened.
Whenwegott ohishouse,
Iwentstrai
ghtt
ohis
room,
stri
ppednakedthengotinthe
shower
,openedthecoldwat
er.I
tsjustwhatI
needed.WhatThabit
oldmemademet oj
ust
thi
nk..
whati
fthesamehappenst oBandil
e,
especial
l
ywit
hhisli
fest
yle.
.Idontt
hinkIwoul
d
survi
ve.
"
Babe!
"
Bandi l
esv oicestart
ledme, makingmer eali
zeI
hadbeeni nt heshowerforapr ett
ylongt i
me.I
tookt hetowel inthebathroom andwr appedit
aroundmybodyt henwal kedbackt otheroom.
Hewassi ttedont hebed,thatmomental lI
want edwast ogot ohim andhughi mt i
ghtbut
myl egsgotheav y,
it
'sli
kehisgazej usthel
d
me,notl et
tingmego.Hest oodupandwal ked
towar dsme. .
Him: I'
m sor r
y,Il
ovey ouandIhav enever
stoppedatanymoment ..Ilov
ejustthewayyou
arebei tthatyouar eshort,
youareacrybabyor
childish..Il
ovey ou..
IknowIpr obabl
ysaidalot
i
ft hingsbutIdi dn'tmeant hem..
Het
rai
l
edhi
shandi
nmyf
ace.
.
Him: Idontwanttoloseyou,
IknowIhave
probablysaidthi
sami l
li
ontimesandI'
m sur
e
youar egett
ingti
redofheari
ngitbutIl
ove
you..
IloveyouandIdon'twanttoloseyouand
thatswhyy oursafet
yispri
ori
tytome..
HeHuggedmet ight l
y,hewassowar m..I
huggedhi m back,Ilovehim also,
Idoandt he
wayIl ov
ehi m scar esmef orthefactthatIcan'
t
stopmy self
..Ikeepf all
ingdeepanddeeperf or
thi
sguyandi t
'snotheal thy.
.Iknowit.
.Iknowi t
butIcan'tstopmy self
.Ishutmyey esast ears
streamed.
Thef oll
owingdayIwokeupl ockedi nhi
sar ms
andlegst hatIwasev enf eeli
nguncomf ortabl
e.
Hehadmyl egsbetweenhi sandhi sarms
aroundme.Il ovedt hefeelofhisbr oadchest
againstme, i
tbroughttanglesar oundmyt ummy .
SlowlyIcaressedhi schest,hereall
ywas
muscul ar.
.Thet at
toosonhi schestwerejustto
many ,Icoul
dn'tevenunder standthem butthey
madehi m muchmor esexier.AsIwasst i
ll
analy singhist att
oosIcaneacr ossmyname, I
recheckedacoupl eoft i
mesi twasj ustt her
e,i
n
nott oobi glettersbutvisibleenough.Ir eall
y
dontknowi fthere'sanotherKr istinoutthere
butIbeti twasme.Ihadmi xedemot ions..I
wasupsett hathewoul ddot hat .
.Whywoul dhe
dot hat ?Butthenont heot herhandi tmademe
feelspeci al.
.Iwi pedawayt het earthatescaped
myey e.Itr
iedt owigglemy selffreetohi s
bondagebutasIdi dthathehel dmemuch
ti
ght l
y ..
Hi
m:wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Hesai
dwi t
hasl
eepyv
oiceandhi
sey
eswer
e
st
il
lcl
osed.
.
Me:
wakeup.
.
Her
eachedforhi
sphonewi
thonehandwhi
l
e
t
heotherst
il
lhel
dme..
Hi
m:ey
!i
tsst
il
l5,
sl
eep!
Hesai
dput
ti
ngbackhi
sphone.
Il
ookedathi
m,heopenedhi
sey
es.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
tat
too.
.
Hi
m:t
att
oo?
Me:
myname.
.
Isai
dr unningmyfi
ngeronmynamet
hatwas
pri
ntedrightacr
osshi
schest
.
Hi
m:what
?younott
heonl
yKr
ist
inonear
th.
.
Ilaughed,
hewasr
eal
l
ymaki
ngmel
ookl
i
kea
fool.
.
Me:
Ndi
l
eI'
m bei
ngser
iousher
e
Hi
m:i
tcan'
tber
emov
ed.
.
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:becauseIl
ovey
ou,
andy
ouar
ever
yspeci
al
t
ome..
Idi
dn'
treply.
.Her
anhi
shandi
nsi
det
heT-
shi
rtI
waswearing.
Hi
m:nowl
et'
ssl
eep
Me:
Ican'
tsl
eep.
.
Hi
m:whatdoy
ouwantt
odo?
Me:
not
hing.
.wannabemad
Hi
m:ok.
.bemad
Hemademel i
emyheadonhi schestwhi lehe
rubbedmybacksof tly.Iclosedmyey esand
yesterday '
smemor ypl ay edback,Iheldmy
breath,closingmyt ightlysot oblockawayt he
memor y..Shewassoqui ck,quickerthan
anythingandshewant edt ot akeherownl i
fe,
a
fewmoment sagot herewasasmi lethent he
nextisherbodysoakedi nbloodywat er.Itook
adeepbr eath.Bandi lehadst oppedr ubbingmy
back,Iraisedmyheadandhewasasl eep. ."
Iwil
l
diefory ouKr is,atl
eastIwi ll
knowIdi edf orus"
hiswor dspl ayedback.Hi m getti
ngshot .
.maybe
Ihadbeent aki nghislov ef orgrantedt oomuch.
Sl
owl
yIgotawayf
rom hi
sar
msandl
egs,
managi ngwel lwit
houtwakinghim up.Iwalked
downst airs.
.Itwasabitdark,
thenwentst r
aight
tot hekit
chen.Itookabottleofwateranddr ank
i
tt henwal kedbacktohisroom justt
ost andby
thewi ndow.Ihadopenedi tsoIjuststood
there,asthecoldbreezehitmyskin.Aftera
whi leIwalkedbacktothebed,hewasst i
l
l
sleeping.
.
Helookedsopeacef ul..
Ist
ayedawakef orsome
ti
meunt i
lIfinal
lyjustdecidedtojustwakeup.I
wenttotheki t
chenagai nanddeci dedtojust
bakeusingaf ewmet hodsIgotf r
om mom.I
openedthef ri
dge,unlikemyf r
idgehishas
ever
ythi
ngandI '
m prettysureMma' Nyaradoes
theshopping.
Itookoutt
hechocolatethatwasinthefri
dge.
Thatgaveanidea.It
ookoutt heeggs.
.Iwas
goingtomakechocolatemuffins.
*
***
***
***
***
***
Me:
and?
Him:
theyar
enice.
.buti
hat
eitwhenIwakeup
andyounother
ewi t
hme
Me:
Bandi
l
e!
Hi
m:t
heyar
ereal
l
yni
cebabe
Me:
real
l
y?
Hi
m:yeah.
.It
hinky
ouwoul
dmakear
eal
l
ygood
wi
fe.
.
Ibl
ushed.
.
Me:t
herewasnoheavymil
k..
Ijustusedfr
esh
mi
lk,
Ithoughtt
heywi
l
l t
ast
elikepoison.
.
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:t
heyt
ast
eli
kegoodpoi
son.
.
Hesai
dpul
l
ingmet
ohi
m..
Me:
wehav
en'
tgot
tenbackt
oget
her
..
Hi
m:di
dweev
erbr
eakup?
Me:
yes.
..
Hi
m:Idon'
tremembert
hat
..
Hesai
dki
ssi
ngt
hecor
nerofmyl
i
ps.
.
Me:
Ithi
nkweshoul
dsetr
ules.
.
Hi
m:mhhm.
.
Hefi
nal l
yaimedf ormyl ips,thi
swast hefirst
ti
meweki ssedeversincet hel astti
meIsaw
hi
m,thetimewhenhecanet omyhousei nBot s.
.
Hepulledmet ohi m bymywai stasheki ssed
meslowl y.Myhandsf oundt heirwayt ohishair.
Hetastedanaf t
ert ast
eoft hechocol ate
muffi
nsandabi tofchocol atechi psbutIcoul d
al
so,
almostt ast
eci garettethoughIwasn' tsure.
Hepulledoutafterawhi leleav ingmewi th
numbswol l
enli
pst hathehadbeen
cont
inuouslybit
ingsof tl
y,tuggi ngwithhist eet
h.
Hi
m:Imi
ssedy
ou
Me:
doy
ousmoke?
Isaidlookingathim morecarefull
y,hehad
pinki
shlips..
ain'
thi
slipssupposedt obedarki
f
hesmokes?Hegav emeal ookt hatmademe
f
lushwi
thembar
rassment
..
Hi
m:whydoy
ousayt
hat
?
Ishookmyhead.
.
Hi
m:notal
way
s
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
ain'
tyouscar
edt
ohav
e..
adamagedl
i
ver
?
Hi
m:Isai
dnotal
way
s..
onl
ywhenst
ressed
Me:
arey
oust
ressednow?
Hi
m:nowI
'
m not
..
Hesai
dashesof
tl
ypul
l
edmymesseduphai
r.
Me:
smoki
ngi
snotgood.
.
Hi
m:Iknow.
.Iwi
l
lst
op
Me:
good.
.nowt
her
ules.
.
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:l
et'
sheart
hem
Me:
nomor
esecr
ets.
.nol
i
es
Hi
m:ok
Me:
nocheat
ing.
.
Hel
aughed
Him:It
hinkIshoul
dbetheonet
osayt
hatr
ule,
I
havenevercheatony
ou
Myheartsank.
.I
'
mt heonewhocheaton
hi
m..nott
heotherwayround.Mi
stakeornot
..
I
st
il
lcheatonhi
m.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:
noi
t'
sok.
.
Hi
m: noit'
snot.
.wegotovert
hat,
Ishoul
dn'
t
br
ingitup.
.nocheat
ing.
.Cont
inue.
Me:
ummht
hat
sal
l
.
Him:
ok..
anot
herone.
.nohangi
ngar
oundt
hat
doct
oranymore
Me:
he'
sjustaf
ri
end
Him:Idon'
tl
ikehi
m..
wheredoeshegett
he
audacit
ytoholdy
ourhandl
ikeyouar
ehis?
he
shoul
dknowhi
spl
ace.
.
Me:
i
twasi
nnocent
Hi
m:Iknow.
.Idon'
tl
ikei
t.
.si
mpl
east
hat
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:good
Me:
wil
lyouki
l
lhi
m?
Hi
m:i
fneededbe.
.
Me:
what
'
sthatsupposedt
omean.
.
Hi
m:Idontwantt
ofi
ghtwi
thy
ou.
.l
et'
seat
muff
ins.
.
Hekissedmycheekashepi
ckedmeupand
pl
acedmeont hestool
.Mymindwasst
il
lst
uck
onwhathesai
d..
Hi
m:Iwon'
tki
llhi
m..
justr
ear
rangehi
s
f
ace.
.t
hat
sall
..
noweat!
Hesai
dgi
vi
ngmet
hegl
assofor
angej
uice.
Me:
Bandi
l
eIl
ovey
ou.
.
Helookedatmet
hensmi
l
ed,
thatsmi
l
ethat
j
ustmakesmeweak..
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
out
oo
Ir
etur
nedt
hesmi
l
e..
Weat e,
thenaft
erthatIwenttothebedroom as
hemadeaf ewcal
ls.AsItookofftheshir
t,Igot
di
stract
edbyanenv elopethatwasonthe
headboard.AsmuchasIt ri
edtoignor
ei t
,i
tjust
l
ookedlikeitwascall
ingforme.
Iwentov
ert
oit
,i
twaswr
it
ten"
S&E.
."
t
henscr
ibbl
edatt
hebot
tom.
."Ev
idence"
Witharaci
nghear
tItearedtheenvel
opebutas
If
ishedmyhandinsi
det heenvel
opethedoor
swungopenandBandilegotinsi
demakingme
j
ump.
Thefeeli
ngofbei
ngcaught,
doi
ngsomethi
ng
youshouldn'
tbedoinggat
her
eddeepi
nside
unt
ilIcouldf
eeli
t.
Hi
m:ummht
hisi
swor
kbabe
Hesai
dashet
ookt
heenv
elopef
rom me.
.
Hi
m:wantmet
ojoi
nyouf
orshower
?
Mymout
hwasjustdr
y,Icoul
dn'
tev
enscr
ambl
e
af
ewwords.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ltaket
hatasay
es.
.I
'
m comi
ng
Hewal kedoutleavingmet akingahuge
breat
h..nomor etouchi
ngwhat '
snotmine..I
walkedt othebathroom andst oodundert
he
shower.Ijuststoodtheretry
ingt or
ecoverfr
om
whatjusthappened.Butt henwhat '
sS&E?
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Ihel
dhercol
dhand,
shehadanoxygenmuskon.
Herfacewaspal
e,
li
keshewasdead.
Me:Idontknowi fyouhear
ingthisbutifyou
are,
Ijustwanttosayyouareast rong
woman. .str
ongert
hanyouthink..Iknowy ou
mightfeel l
ikei
tst
heendofthewor ldbutit
s
not.
.Idon'tknowhowGodwor ksbutIdo
beli
eveheknowswhat '
shedoi ng.andthefact
thatyouaresti
ll
ali
vet
oday,
showsthaty
ousti
l
l
havealongwayt ogo,
youst
il
lhav
eamar kt
o
l
eav ebehi
nd..
Isatbesi
desher
..
Me:l
etmesi
ngf
ory
ou.
.Ihav
eat
err
ibl
evoi
ceI
know..

Iwannal
eav
emyf
oot
pri
ntsont
hesandsof
ti
me
Knowther
ewassomet hi
ngthat
,meant
somet
hingthatIl
eftbehi
nd
WhenIl
eav
ethi
swor
ld,
I'
ll
leav
enor
egr
ets
Leavesomet
hingt
oremember
,sot
heywon'
t
for
get

Iwasher
e
Il
i
ved,
Ilov
ed
Iwasher
e
Idi
d,I
'
vedoneev
ery
thi
ngt
hatIwant
ed
Andi
twasmor
ethanIt
houghti
twoul
dbe
Iwi
l
lleav
emymar
ksoev
ery
onewi
l
lknow
Iwasher
e

IwannasayIl
i
vedeachday
,unt
ilIdi
e
AndknowthatImeantsomet
hingi
n
somebody
'sli
fe
Thehear
tsIhav
etouchedwi
l
lbet
hepr
ooft
hat
Il
eave
ThatImadeadi
ff
erence,
andt
hiswor
ldwi
l
l
see
Me:
thissongsaysital
l.
.Ipr
ayandhopeyouget
wel
l.
.y
oust i
l
lhavealottodo..
alott
hatwil
l
makeXanderproud..
Andwi
tht
hatIwal
kedout
.
Iti
sj ustnowt hatyouwi l
lbelaughingwith
someone, notev enawar eofwhat evert
hats
goingonwi t
ht hem orwhatevertheyaregoing
through. .
asmi ledoesn'tal
way smean
happi ness,laughterdoesn'tal
way smean
happi ness..Somet i
mest hatsmileis
represent i
ngpai nthatsdeepwi t
hinbutyoucan
nev erknowi t
..
Igotinmycarandcl osedmy
eyest ightl
y..Shewassocal m..
howcoul dIhave
known?
.
SAM
.
Wewal kedinsi
dehishouse,j
udgingf
rom
ever
ythingIhaveseensofar,
thi
sguyisr
eal
l
y
l
oadedbutIwasabi tner
vous..
Themomentwegotinsidethesit
ti
ng
room,
somewomanst oodup,abityoungerthan
mom.Herfacial
expr
essiontol
dmeal ot
..
she
wasn'
thappy
..Shesmil
edav er
yt i
ghtsmile.
.
Her
:Ler
ato.
.whatanunpl
easantsur
pri
se
Mom:
Agat
ha.
.
Her
:andwho'
sthi
s?
Mom:
wher
e'sAobakwe?
Her
:myhusbandi
sst
il
latwor
k..
Mom:
ver
ywel
lthen,
wewi
l
lwai
t.
.
Her
:wai
tinwho'
shouse?
Mom:
wai
tinAobakwe'
shouseAgat
ha
Shel
aughedt
hencl
appedherhands
Her:
inAobakwe'shouse?
Ler
atokopaot
samay
e
(
pleasego)leav
emyhouse..
Mom t
ookmyhandandl
edmet ot
hecouch
maki
ngmeseatdownwi
thher
..
Mom:
I'
m nother
eforgames
Her:
lebelet
ekewenakar
etsamay
a!(
leav
emy
housey ouwhor
e)
Thi
swomanwasr
eal
l
yst
art
ingt
opi
ssmeof
f.
.
Mom ignor
edher
,shechuckl
edt
henlef
t.Af
tera
whil
eshecamebackholdingaj
ugofwater
.I
st
oodup..
Me:Iwi
llsl
apy
ousohar
dyouf
orgety
our
name..
tr
yit
Her
:andt
henwena?
omangwena?
huh?
Me:
Bat
hongkanaMmeIwi
l
lbeaty
ou
Her
:mxm t
heendr
esul
tofawhor
ingmot
her
!ke
t
sonedi
lotse?
Iwasreal
l
ytr
yingt
ocont
rol
mysel
fbutIwas
l
osingi
t.
Me:
mmaweshoul
dgo
Mom:no.
.weareher
etoseeyourfat
her
..And
wenotgoingany
wherewi
thoutseei
nghim..
sit
!
Me:onemorewordfrom y
ou,Iwil
lgoforj
ail
for
assaul
tandIwon'
tregr
etitsfebekewena!
Shel
ookedatme,it
hinkshenoti
cedIwasn'
t
bl
uff
ingandsoshesatdown.Isatdown
besi
desmom andhel
dherhand.Aft
erawhi
l
e
weheardv
oices.
.t
wovoi
cesactual
l
y..
Moment sl
ateramanandawomanhad
appear
edwithsomegi rl
,
beautif
ulgi
rl
,beaut
iful
darkgi
rl
.Themanr eall
ylookedli
keme, maybea
bi
ttooli
ghtincomplexi
ont hanme.Hesmi l
ed
assoonashesawme, helookedhappy..
Hi
m:ohMyGod!Godhasansweredmy
Pr
ayer
s..
Ler
atof
inal
l
ybroughtmyson.
.
Hecameov
ert
omeasIst
oodupandhugged
me.
.
Him:modemokal
eboga..
youar
esobi
g..
doesn't
helookl
ikeay
oungerr
epli
caofmeRebecca.
.
Hesai
dref
err
ingt
othewomanhehadcome
wi
th.
.
Rebecca:
hedoes.
.Fi
nal
l
ytheRant
lagahei
ris
her
e..
Agat
ha:
wai
t.
.Aobakweweh!
Hi
m:Agat
ha!
Hesai
dinafi
rm commandi
ngv
oicet
hat
si
l
encedheri
mmediat
ely
Shekeptqui
te.
.
Hi
m:Ler
atot
hanky
ousomuch.
.myson.
.
Hehuggedmeagai
n..
hecoul
dn'
thol
dbackhi
s
t
ear
s..
Hi
m:youdontknowhowl
ongIhav
ewai
tedf
or
t
hismoment..
Mom:
i
twasaboutt
ime
Him:yes.
.ummhSont hismysi
sterRebeccaand
herdaughterTi
naandRebeccathisi
smyson
Samuel AobakweJunior.
.
Ti
na:
nicemeet
ingy
ouSamuel
Isweart
oGodmyhear tski
ppedashersmoot
h
voi
cecaressedmyname.
Rebecca:
I'
m happyt
omeety
ou
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Isai
dwi
thadr
ythr
oat
Hi
m:ummht
hiscal
l
sforacel
ebr
ati
onr
ightson?
Me:
yes.
..
Dad
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

Fam r
emembercor
por
ati
on.
..Much
marat
os
Newreader
spl
easedon'
tbescar
edt
o
commentandl
i
ke..
[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t45
KRI
S
.
.
Ifi
nishedof
fmyassi
gnment,
justt
henacal
l
fr
om Bandil
egoti
n,
Isatupst
rai
ghtasI
answer
edasIgr
innedl
i
kear
etar
d.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hey
,Isawy
ourt
ext
,Ihav
ebeenbusy
Me:
i
tsok.
..
Hi
m:i
sev
ery
thi
ngokt
her
e?ar
eyouok?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
.Imi
ssy
out
hough
Him:Imissy
out
oobabe,
Iwi
l
lbebacki
nfew
days..
Me:Idontunder
standwhyy
ouhadtobethe
onetogothere,
youhav
epeopl
etodothat
Him:babemyAustral
i
andeal
isv
eryi
mpor
tant
,I
havetodoitper
sonall
y.
.
Me:
Iunder
stand.
.
Hi
m:good.
.howwasschool
?
Me:assi
gnmentsassi
gnment
sandmor
e
assi
gnments!
Hi
m:y
ouwi
l
lbef
ine
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:l
ookbabeIhav
etogo.
.
Me:
alr
eady
?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lyou.
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Thenhehungup, Bandi l
ehadgonet oAust r
alia
aweekagoandwel lweeksur elyfeltli
ke
decades, appar ent l
yt herewasadeal hehadt o
sortputper sonal ly
.Thabi wasst i
l
l inhospital,
butshewasoutofcoma. .Ihav ebeenv i
sit
ing
herev erydayev ent houghherf amilyhadar rived.
Hermot herand2si sters.Whatshedi dreally
hurtthem, Istil
l remembert hedayshear ri
ved, I
wast here..shel iterall
ycr ied.Nopar entwant s
tobei nthatposi tionwher ey ourownchi ld
wantst ot akeherownl ife.Itr eall
yhur tthem. .
Lesedi andIhav ebeenget tingabi tcloserthan
beforeandshesact uall
ycool oncey ougett o
knowher .Thabi 'sact ionssav edal l ofusasan
awakeni ngcal l.Ipl acedmyphonedownasI
cl
osedmyl apt
op.Myphonev
ibr
ated,
i
twasa
cal
lagai
n..
Sam
Ipi
ckedupal
mosti
mmedi
atel
y.
Me:
hey
.
Hi
m:hey
..
how'
syourf
ri
end?
Me:
get
ti
ngt
her
e,how'
syourf
ather
?
Sam hadtextedmeaweekagot hathefinall
y
methisfather,
awhatwhati
nthePar l
i
ament .I
wasactuall
ysurpr
isedt
hatmom final
lyspiti
t
outandSam seemedhappytomeethi sdad.
Him:wemeet i
ngagai
ntodayfordi
nner
..
Ili
ke
him al
ready
..I
tsl
ikewehaveknowneachfor
years.
.
Me:
I'
m happyf
ory
ou.
.
Hi
m:y
eahbutf
uck!
ther
e'st
hisgi
rl
..
Il
aughed
Me:
youhav
est
art
ed.
.whi
chgi
rlnow?
Hi
m:myAunt
'
sdaught
er.
.Shesdr
ivi
ngmecr
azy
Me:
shee!Shesf
ami
l
y..Youcan'
tfal
lforf
ami
l
y
Him:Ican'
thel
pit
..
thi
sti
mei
tsdi
ff
erent
..Ir
eal
l
y
l
ikeher
Me:
sti
l
l
Hi
m:Ican'
tst
opmy
sel
f.
.
Me:
i
twon'
tendwel
lyouknowi
t.
.
Hi
m:Idontknowany
mor
e
Me:
j
ustst
ayawayf
rom her
Hi
m:I
'
mtr
ying.
.AndIwi
l
ltr
yhar
der
..
Me:
good
Hi
m:wher
e'st
att
ooedboy
?
Me:
Aust
ral
i
a
Hi
m:Aust
ral
i
a?
Me:
mhhm
Hi
m:i
j
ook.
.l
ookIbet
tergo.
.he'
sher
e
Me:
greethi
mforme
Hechuckl
edbef
orehangi
ngup.
Iwalkedoutf
rom myroom andwenttothe
si
tti
ngroom.Justt
henLeahgotinsi
dethe
house.
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Her
:ohI
'
mti
red.
.
Shesai
dthr
owi
ngher
sel
font
hecouchbesi
des
me.
Me:
dickt
ir
ing?
Shel
aughed
Her
:what
?
Me:i
tsal
mostninei nt
heevening,andyou
comingbacknow..andyouti
red..Thi
sonly
meansonething.
.Ihopeyouknowpr egnancyi
s
real
Shet
hrewacushi
onatmel
aughi
ng.
.
Her
:ohpl
easeany
waydi
cki
sgoodbabe.
.Imean
di
cki
sbae
Il
aughed
Me:
youar
ecr
azy
..
Her
:howwasy
ourday
?
Me:
ok
Her
:If
eell
i
kebunki
ngt
omor
rowbutQwi
l
lbeon
mycaseIknow
Me:
hecar
es
Her
:yeah,
andhi
ssnobbi
shr
ati
scomi
ng
Me:
si
ster
?
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
toobad.
.
Justt
hent
her
ewasknock.
.
Il
ookedatLeah.
Me:
expect
ingsomeone?
Sheshookherheadno.
.
Igotupandwalkedtot
hedoor.Iopenedthe
doorandLebowasatthedoorcryi
ng,she
l
ookedli
keamess. .
Me:
hey
yy
Her
:my
..
my.
.mys.
.si
steri
sdead
Ibl
inkedacouplet
imes,
tr
yingt
odi
gestt
he
news.Leahstoodbehi
ndme.
Leah:
what
'swr
ong?
Me:hersi
sterhaspassedaway
..
pleasecomei
n
Lebo
Ihel
dherclosel
yasshecri
ed.Leahjustst
ood
behi
ndmewi thnopart
icul
aremoti
on
whatsoev
er.
Ihel
pedLeboi nsi
deandsatbesidesherasshe
cri
ed.Ireall
yfeltsor
ryf
orher.Ididn'
tsay
anythi
ng,justheldhert
ight
ly.
Shecri
edher
sel
ftosleep,
Ijustl
aidher
perf
ect
lyont
hecouchandgav eherablanket
thenwal
kedt
oLeah'sroom.
Me:
what
'
syourpr
obl
em?
Shewasont
hephone.
.
Her
:l
ookbabe,
Iwi
l
lcal
lok.
.ok.
.Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Thenshehungupandl
ookedatme.
.
Her
:what
'sy
ourpr
obl
em?
Me:
LeahIt
houghty
ouandandLebower
e
f
ri
ends
Her:
wer
e..It
hinky
ouar
etooni
cef
ory
ourown
good
Me:Leboj ustlosthersi
sterforcryi
ngout
l
oud! sheneedsal lt
heemot ionalsupportshe
canget ,
Idon'twanttorepeatt hesamet hing
thathappenedwi t
hThabi..
ifyoudon'twantt o
helpLeboi tsfine,
j
ustpl
easedontdi splayy our
atti
tudeonher
Shest
oodupandwal
kedupt
ome.
..
Her:
thi
sgi
rli
snotwhoy outhi
nksheis
Kr
is,
deadsi
sterornot
..
shesdecei
vi
ngy ou
Me:
Leah!
Her:
it
sthet
rut
h..Shesaf
reaki
ngmanipulat
or
bi
tch!
doyouevenknowwho'shersi
ster
?
Me:Idon'
tneedtoknowhersi
stert
o
underst
andhersi
tuat
ion.
.
Her:
forsomeonesmar
tyouar
ebei
ngi
gnor
ant
andstupi
d
Me:
thenl
etmebe!
Isaidbef or
ewal ki
ngoutofherr oom mad.
Whendi dLeahbecomel ikethi
s,notaweekago
Thabi t
riedhurti
ngherselfbecauseofl oosing
someonev eryimport
antt oher,
nowi t
'sLebo
butshesbusyact i
ngallGod.Icrawledi nt
ot he
blankets.Justthenmyphonest ar
tedringing,i
t
wasBandi l
e..
Hi
m:Babecany
oupl
easel
i
stent
ome.
.
Me:
ummhok
Hi
m:t
omorrowear
lyi
nthemor
ningIwanty
ou
t
omov et
omyhouse..
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:Ineedsomeonet
her
e,cany
oudot
hat
?
Me:
Ihav
eaf
ri
endwhoj
ustl
osthersi
ster
..
Him:
ummhy oucanal
way
sseeherdur
ingt
he
daypl
ease
Me:
ok
Hi
m:good,
ear
lymor
ninggot
her
eok?
Me:
Bandi
l
ewhat
'swr
ong?Yousoundabi
tof
f
Hi
m:Shi
t!
Hesi
ghed
Him:
Iwi
shIwast
her
e..Tomor
rowI
'
m comi
ng
back
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Him:
Ineedt
otakecareofsomet
hing.
.babewi
l
l
yougotomyhouse?
Me:
yes,
what
'swr
ong?
Hi
m:i
tst
hedeal
..
it
s..
-
Me:
i
tsok.
.Iunder
stand.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Hi
m:don'
tfor
get
..
Me:
Iwon'
t.
Ithenhungupandsl ept.I
mmedi at
elyaf
ter
cl
osi ngmyeyesIsl ept.Waki
ngupt hefol
lowi
ng
day,Iwentandtookashower ,
packedafew
cl
ot hest
henwal kedoutofmyr oom.Lebowas
i
nt hekit
chen,drinki
ngcoffee.
.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
..I
'
m sor
ryabout
..
-
Me:
nono.
.hey
..
I'
m her
efory
ouok?
Isai
dwal
ki
ngupt
oherandgi
vi
ngherat
ight
hug.
Me:
I'
m her
efory
ou.
.
Her
:youar
ereal
l
yaGodsent
..
cof
fee?
Me:
yest
hanky
ou
Shemadecof
feef
ormeandgav
eitt
ome.
.
Me:
sohow'
ssoy
ourf
ami
l
y?
Her
:i
tsst
il
lfr
esh.
.
Shesatdownwi
pingat
eart
hathadescaped.
.
Me:
yougett
hroughi
t
It
ookasi
p..
Her
:yeah.
.I
'
m goi
ngt
oSowet
otoday
..
wher
emy
f
amilyli
ves
Me:
wantmet
ocomewi
th?
Her
:no.
.I
'
mfi
ne,
Iwi
l
lbeok
Me:
arey
ousur
e?
Her
:yeah.
.pl
usy
ouhaveassi
gnmentstosubmi
t.
.
Wedontwantyouf
ail
i
ngthissemester
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:dr
inky
ourcof
feebef
orei
tget
scol
d.
Ichuckl
edasshesmi
l
edt
hendr
ankt
hecof
fee.
.
Me:
thanky
ousomuchf
ort
hecof
fee
Her
:i
tsnot
hingcompar
edt
oyourcomf
ort
..
Justt
henLeahemer
ged
Leah:
shoul
dn'
tyoubegoi
ngKr
ist
in?
Il
ookedatherwi
thaney
ebr
owr
aised.
.
Thenchuckl
ed.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lseey
oul
aterLebo.
.
Lebo:
yeah.
.
Iwal
kedoutwit
hmybag,
Leah'
sat
ti
tuder
eal
l
y
hadnolev
el.
.
Iwalkedtomycar .ThemomentIgoti nsideI
start
edfeel
inganunf amili
arf eel
ing.
.Ifeltvery
ti
red..
veryv
eryti
red..Icouldn'tkeepmyey es
openmuchl onger.
.Ijust
..
justf el
tli
kesleeping.
ThemomentIcl osedmyey es,If
elli
nto
darkness.
.
SAM
.
Him:Icanfi
xyousomethi
nginoneofthebest
hospit
als.
.Yourmot
herandIdi
scussedthi
s..
Me:
ok..
butf
orthemomentI'
mjustt
aki
ngthe
r
estoft
heyearasagapyear
..
I'
mjustt
ir
ed.
.
Hi
m:y
eahIunder
stand.
.Soanymakot
i?
Il
aughed
Me:
no.
.notatt
hemomentIguess.
.
Hi
m:ai
iwhy
?
Me:
rel
ati
onshi
psar
efuckedup.
.can'
tdeal
Hi
m:scar
edofcommi
tment
?
Me:
no.
.scar
edofbei
nghur
t.
.
Hi
m:Iknowt
hef
eel
i
ng.
.
Me:y
oursi
sterRebecca.
.Howmanyki
dsdoes
shehav
e?
Iaskednotreal
l
yconcer
nedbutwant
ingt
o
knowmor eaboutTi
na.
Hi
m:1,
Tina
Me:
ohw.
.shesasi
ngl
epar
ent
?
Hi
m:yeah,
eversi
nceTi
nawas11.
.Herf
ather
wasmurdered.
.
Me:
that
ssad.
.
Him:y
eah..
andtheyneverf
oundt hemurder
er.
.
ButRebeccadi
dagr eatj
obraisi
ngthis
ki
d..
shesabril
l
iantki
dtoday.
.she'sa
phar
macist
Me:
that
sgr
eat
..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.l
et'
sgo.
.
Westoodupandwalkedoutsi
detherestaur
ant
wehadmetup.Aweekagowehadonl ymet
andnowwear eget
ti
ngtoknoweachot her
muchbett
er.
.It
smuchbettert
hanIthought.
.
Hi
m:wewi
l
ltal
ktomor
row.
.
Me:
yes.
.
Igoti
nmycaranddr
oveof
f.AsIwashal
fway
home..mycarjustdeci
dedt ogoof f.Istepped
outifi
t,angry
.TheAustinMar ti
nisst i
l
lnew.
ThemomentIst eppedoutIf eltsomeonewas
behindme.ThemomentIt urnedIgot
welcomedbyast r
ongblowt hatsentme
str
aighttotheground.
Me:
fuck!
AsIst r
uggledtostandupIfel
tanotherblowin
myst omach..t
henblowseverywhere.
.This
peoplewerenothav i
ngmercyonme, theywere
gunningformyblood.Themor etheykickedme
Ifel
tli
kemysoul wasf i
ghti
ngitswayoutof
body..
.Theycontinuedbeat
ingmeunt ilIj
ust
bl
ackedout ..
.
Thestrongli
ghti
ntensit
yhitmyey eshard.I
str
uggledtoopenmyey es..ThemomentI
fi
nall
yopenedthem Icouldfeelpainall
overmy
body.Iwaslayi
ngont heground..Icl
osedmy
eyesti
ghtl
ybeforeopeningthem again.
SomehowIwashopi
ngtowakeinhospi
tal
but
Isawsomeguysi
tt
edinfr
ontofme..
Hi
m:ahhf
inal
l
y!
Hest
oodup.
.
Het
ookouthi
skni
fe.
.
Him: I
'
m goingt
oromoveonlytwo..
twofi
nger
s
thatnextti
meyouwon'teventhi
nkaboutgoi
ng
aftermarri
edwomen.
.butanywaygood
mor ning
Il
ookedathi
m,hewasn'
tbl
uff
ing.
Hi
m:nextt
imeyouseeamar ri
edwomany ou
wi
llr
unaway.
.butt
hentwofinger
sain'
tnothi
ng.
.
Noteveny
ourwholef
inger
,j
ustaquart
er.
.
Hecamet
owar
dsme.
Hi
m:nobodyi
sgoi
ngsav
eyou.
.notev
enGod
t
oday.
.
Hemademesitupmaki
ngmehissint
hepai
n
t
hatt
ookov
er.
.Theyhadreal
l
ybut
cher
edmy
body
,If
eltl
i
keanov
ercookedt
omat
o.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookar
eal
mess.
.
Het
ookmyf
ingert
hendugi
nhi
skni
fe.
.
Me:
fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!
ahhhhhhhhhhh.
.
There'
spain..r
ealpai
nthaty oucanev enfeeli
t.
.
Thatwasn'twhatwhatIf elt
..Ifel
tmorethan
that
..
Ifeltl
ikemywhol ehandwasbei ngcut.
Theknifewassoshar pt hatitdidn'
thavemercy
onmyf inger.Iev
enmessedupmypant s.My
fi
ngerwasbl eedi
ngfuriously..
Me:
shi
i
ii
ii
i
it.
.God!
Ihear
dfootpri
ntscomeourway,
wewereat
thebackofsomehouseorsotosay
.Hest
ood
upandwalkedtohiscar
..
Hi
m:wenotdone.
.expectme
Thenoffhedroveaway
..
justt
hent
heperson
emerged.
.Itwasasheandwasinthephone
Her
:yes.
.GodLebo.
.Ummh.
.
Justt
henshet
urnedt
ome.
.
Her
:ohFuck.
.shi
t.
..
ohmy
..
Shethrewherphoneawayandr
ushedov
ert
o
me..
itwasTina.
.
Her:
ohGod..whathappened?Youarebleedi
ng.
.
Sherushedovertoherphoneagai
n..
.Ishutmy
eyesti
ghtl
yasthepaingotworse.
.
.
KRI
S
.
OpeningmyeyesIwasi
nhospi
tal
,haddri
ps
connectedt
omybodyandLebowaslooki
ngat
me..
Her
:oht
hankGody
ouar
eawake.
.
Me:
wat
er.
.
Shewal kedoverandtookaglassofwat
er
togetherwit
hast r
aw.Idrankthewat
ert
houghI
sti
llf
eltweak.
Her:
Iwasworr
ied.
.If
oundy
oui
nyour
car
..
and.
.God!
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Her:
ummhyourphonehasbeenof
f.
.butnoone
hascomet
oseey ouyet
Shegav
ememyphone.
.
Iswit
chedi
ton.
.andt
her
ewasat
extf
rom
Bandi
le.
"Sabr
inaandIhav eachi l
d..
Iwasscar edtot el
l
youfacetof aceczIknowy ouwudf reak.
.I
thi
nkitsbestweendt hi
ngsnow, wheni t
sst i
ll
earl
y.Lovingyoucomeswi thalotof
complicati
ons..Thatsgoi
ngt oruinbothy our
l
ifeandmi neandIdontwantt hat.
.I'
mt oo
muchf oryouKr i
sandy ouknowi t..
may bethat'
s
whyy oucheatonme. .
wellnowy oucangof or
Venusi fy
ouwi sh,I
'
m notstoppingy ou"
It
hrewmyphoneagai
nstt
hewal
l
..
Me:
agai
n?agai
n!
Lebo:
what
?
Me:
Ihat
ehi
m..
Isai
dcr y
ing.
.Lebohuggedme..i
thur
t.
.Iasked
him andheli
edtomyf ace.Thi
swasthelast
nail
tothecoffi
n..Iwasdone!
Af
terawhi
l
ethedoct
orcame,
afemal
edoct
or.
.
Dr
:how'
smypat
ientdoi
ng?
Me:
Iwi
l
lbef
ine.
.
Dr:
wehavecontact
edy
ourf
ami
l
yandt
heywi
l
l
gether
etomorr
ow
Inodded.
.
Shei
nject
edmewi
thsomet
hing.
.
Dr:
thi
sisasopor
if
ic.
.Itwi
l
lhel
pyousl
eep,
your
bodyneedst
orest.
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ongwi
thme?
Dr:
i
tsy ourmigr
aine.
.It
sacti
ngupbutdont
worry
..
Igotitundercontr
ol.
.Al
lyougav
etodo
i
srest.
.
Bythetimeshewasdonet alki
ngIwasal
ready
feel
i
ngdr owsy
,t
helastthi
ngIr ememberwas
Bandil
e..Hewasthelastthinginmymind.
.And
astearsstr
eamedIblackedout ..
Waki ngupagai n,Iwasst i
ll
int hebedwi thallmy
ener gydrai
ned.Iwasal one, Ireachedoutf ormy
phonet ocallSamuel butsur pri
singlytherewas
nosi m card,
thatwasabi twei rdbutt henI
fi
gur edoutthatmay beLebor emov editbut
thenwhywoul dshedot hat?Il ookedf oritin
ther oom withmyey esbuti tst i
llwasn'tthere
andIwasget ti
ngf rustratedbyt hesecond.Igot
upf rom thebed,Ifeltsoweak, mybodywasj ust
ti
red.SlowlyIwal kedt ot hedoorandopened
i
t..Iwalkedout,t
hispl acedi dn'tlooklikea
hospi t
al,
itl
ookedl i
ket hoseabandoned
places.Bythesuppor tfrom t hewal lwallbyI
wal kedtosomedoor ,
itwasr eall
yhar d.I
stoppedj ustatthedoorwher eIhear dvoices..
"No.
.weneedtomoveher
,heknowst
hispl
ace.
."
Thefir
stv
oicesai
d
"
Towher
e?"
Anot
herquest
ioned
"ToBarabbas'shouse.
.hewon'
tsuspectt
hat
place"
thefi
rstvoi
cesaidagai
n
"he'
sgoingtoknowit
sme..
tohi
myouar
e
dead"Lebosvoi
cesai
d..
"Yes,
butonceheget stoknowI '
m ali
veand
MissThingyhereisn'
t,
youknowhowhi sthe
gamegoesbutbyt henI'
m sureherfamily
wouldhavereportedhermissing.Hercarisat
Bandil
eshouse,andthere'
sbloodinsi
de..The
poli
cearegoingtosuspecthim...
"
"
Mysaf
ety
?"
"
I'
mf l
yi
ngyoutoCanadat
omor
row.Youwi
l
l
f
ini
shschool
ther
e"
I
tdidn'
ttakememucht i
met ogather2and2
t
ogetherforitt
ofi
nall
ycli
ckinmymi nd.Leah'
s
wordsreplay
edinmyhead.."t
hisgirl
isnotwho
youthi
nkshei sKr
is,
deadsisterornot.
.shes
decei
vi
ngy
ou"
Iwal kedaway ,
tryingt owalkmuchf aster
..Wi
th
eachst epIreachedf orthedoor .ThemomentI
openedt hatdoor ,Iwasout side.Withasmi l
eon
myf aceIgotout .Iwasputonahospi tal
gown, thatnowwasdi st
urbingmywal k.I
t
seemedl ikether ewasnohouse, j
ustabush
thatwentonf or ever..Butthecarcaughtmy
attention.Iwalkedupt oit
,openedi tbutthecar
key swer enott her e.
Me:
no!
Isearchedforthem ev erywherebuttheywere
nottherebutjustt henInoti
cedaphone. .Wit
h
shakinghandsIt ooki t,
nosecuri
typassword..
Good!IdialedBandi lesnumber,i
trangthefi
rst
ti
me,unanswer ed..Icall
edhim again.
.Thist
ime
heanswer ed.
Hi
m:y
eah?
Me:
babe.
.i
tsme.
.I
..
-
Hi
m:ohf
uck!
Kri
swher
ear
eyou?
Me:
Idontknow.
.I
'
m scar
ed.
.
Him:j
ustamomentbaby
..
letmet
racky
ou.
.who
abduct
edyou?
Icouldal
mostfeel
thepani
cki
nhi
svoi
ceev
en
thoughhetr
iedtomuskit
..
Me:
Lebo.
.she.
.-
Hi
m:fuck!Youshoul
dhavel
ist
enedt
oLeahbut
i
tdoesn'
tmatterany
more.
.
Me:I
'
m scar
ed.
.t
heyhav
ebeeni
nject
ingmewi
th
somethi
ng
Him:
Igoty
ou.
.Fucksof
ar.
.wher
ear
eyour
ight
now?
Me:i
nthei
rcar,
Igotoutf
rom t
hehouse.
.Ican'
t
f
indthecarkey
s
Him:
Iwantyout
ogetoutf
rom t
hatcarbabe
andr
un.
.ok?
runasf
astasyoucan.
.now
Igotoutf
rom t
hecar
,wi
thweakl
egs,
and
wal
kedawayf
rom t
hecar
..
Him:donthungup,Iwanttobeabletoknow
youreverymov e.
.Theroadi sf
arf
rom wher
e
youarerightnowsoj ustkeepwal
king
str
aight
,I
'm comingforyou..
Iwalkedinsi
det
hebushbutt
henIhear
dthei
r
voi
ces..
Me:
theyar
ecomi
ng.
.
Hi
m:wal
kfast
er,
bef
astbabe.
.
Iwalledmuchf asterbutthent hedr owsiness
wasget ti
ngwor seandwor se..Ididn'thowlongI
couldkeepi tupt il
lIcanjustcol l
apseont he
ground.Myhear twasbeat ingfast ,my
assignment s..Al ex.
.Mymi ndj ustst ar
ted
workingov ertime. .Iwasjusthel plessandthe
headachet hatIknewwasgoi ngt oat t
ackme
hard,Icouldf eel itfai
ntly
..
."Ithinky ouaretoo
nicef oryourowngood"Leah' swor dsrepl
ayed
i
nmi nd..Iwi pedmyt ear
saway ..
thiswasnot
thetimet obecr y i
ng.
.
Hi
m:babey
oust
il
lther
e?
Me:
yeah.
.I
'
m get
ti
ngmor
edr
owsy
..
Him:
keepgoi
ngbabe,
youar
edoi
ngwel
l
..I
'
m
comi
ng..
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Hi
m:I'
mtheonewho'
ssor
ry.
.I
'
mtheone
dr
aggi
ngyouinmymess.
.
Me:
Igoty
ourt
ext
..
Hi
m:Isental
otoft
ext
s..
Me:t
heoney
oubr
eaki
ngupwi
thme.
.Godi
feel
t
ir
ed..
Hi
m:don'
tst
opwalki
ng.
.andwhywoul
dIbreak
upwi
thyou?Babepl
easedontst
opwalki
ng
Me:
I'
mti
redofwal
ki
ng
Him:
dont
..
Ilov eyouandt hemomenty
ou
r
emovethebr eakingupshiti
nyourmi
ndpl
us
youar
eacat ch,ahott
y..
Ibl
ushed.
.
Hi
m:babet
her
e'ssr
iverwher
eyouheaded.
Me:
ok.
.
Iwal
kedabitmoreandIsweart
oev eryhopeI
hasj
ustf
adedint
othinai
r,
thewaterwas
fl
owi
ngandImyweakbodycoul dn'
tjusthandl
e
i
t.
Hi
m:ar
eyout
her
e
Me:
i
tsgoi
ngt
osweepmeaway
..
Hi
m:i
tsf
lowi
ng?
Me:
yeah.
.andI
'
mfeel
i
ngweek.
.
Hi
m:f
oll
owt
her
iver
..
Me:
ok.
.
AfewstepsIt
ookwer ereall
yhardthatIended
upsi
tt
ingdown,Ij
ustcouldn'
ttakeanotherst
ep.
Hi
m:shi
t!Babe.
.Kr
ispl
ease
Me:
j
ustasec.
.
Hi
m:dontcl
osey
ourey
es
Me:
mhhm.
.
Il
ayonmybackasmyey
est
hreat
enedt
o
cl
ose.
.
Him:Kr
isbabe.
.pl
easedontcl
oseyoureyes
pl
ease..
ummhshi t
..Babedoyouevert
hink
aboutourf
utur
e?
Me:f
ant
asy
ingmay
be.
.Idont
..
wantt
osound
cr
azy
Hi
m:cr
azy
?justt
ell
mewhaty
ouf
ant
asi
seabout
?
Icl
osedmyey
es.
.
Hi
m:Kr
is!
Me:
mhhhm.
.
Hi
m:pl
easedontcl
osey
ourey
es.
.
Keepingmyey esopenwasat askwhi chwasso
hardtodo,Iwasjustfeel
inghot,t
heai rwastoo
thi
cktobreaththatIfel
tsuffocated.Itri
edto
tal
kbutIfeltt
oot i
red,
tooti
redtot al
k,tooti
red
tokeepmyey eswi deopen.Icoul dhear
Bandi
l
esv oi
cebutitwasgett
ingmoreand
morefai
ntbythesecond.Iwantedt
orest
..
.
SAM
.
Shestoodbeforeme, pi
tywasfi
l
ledi
nhereyes
andIhatedit
.Ididn'
twanthersympathyor
anyoneelse'
sforthatmatter
.
Her
:I
'm gl
adIf
oundy
ouwhenIdi
d..
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
oudi
dal
so.
.
Her
:Ist
il
ldontgetwhyyoudontwantmet
o
r
eportt
histothepol
ice.
.
Me:
dontwor
ryabouti
t.
.
Her:
andthi
smakesmethinky
ouknowwhat
exact
lyi
sgoingon?
arey
ouintr
oubl
e?
Ichuckl
edbuti
thurtal
so,
i
twasprett
yobv i
ous
thatTay
lorwastheonewhodi
dthisbuthow
didhefi
ndout?Bandil
ewast
heonlypersonin
mind.It
riedsohardtoshi
ftmymi ndbutitsti
ll
l
edmet ot hat
..
butthenwhywouldhesni tchme?
Alotofreasonsfl
oodedonmymi nd,anendless
l
ist
..
ofcausehedoeshav ereasons..Justthen
t
hedoorswungopen.Dadgoti n,
togetherwith
mom.
Mom:
ohGodbaby
..
arey
ouok?
Shesai
dreachi
ngovert
ome,
thewayshecar
es
al
waysmeltedmyheart
.
Me:
I'
m ok
Mom:
bloodyt
hugs.
.wher
e'st
hepol
i
ce?
Il
ookedather
,notsay
ingany
thi
ng.
Mom:
keng?
wher
e'st
hepol
i
ce.
.
Dad:
Tina?
Ti
na:her
efused.
.Hedoesn'
twantmet
otel
lthe
pol
ice
Me:Idi
dn'tseet
hepersonwhodi
dthi
s,
soi
tsno
usegoingtothepol
i
ce..
Dadl
ookedatmef
orawhi
l
e..
Dad:
Ler
atoandTi
na,
giv
eusamoment
..
Mom ki
ssedmyforeheadbef
orewal
ki
ngout
t
oget
herwithTi
na.
.
Dad:
outwi
thi
t.
.
Hesai
d,Icoul
dn'
tfi
ndar
easont
oli
etohi
m..
Me:
Isl
eptwi
thsomeone'
swi
fe
Isaidlooki
ngathim,
awai
ti
nganoutbur
st
reacti
onbutinst
eadhewaschi
l
ledasever
..
Hi
m:andnowy
ougotr
ear
rangedf
ori
t?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:ok
Me:
whyai
n'
tyouscr
eami
ng?
Him:
whywouldIscream?
Iwasn'
ttherei
nyour
upbr
ingi
ngsoIhavenori
ghtt
obemaki ngyou
geti
ncourt
..
andIguessi
tsi
nourblood
Me:
youoncesl
eptwi
thsomeone'
swi
fe?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hesatbesi
desme.
.
Him: andonet hingIhav elearnedi st hatyouar e
responsi bl
ef ory ourson' sbehav i
orint he
future..Yousee, onedayy ouar egoi ngt obe
fatherandIdon' tthinkt here'sanydayy ouare
goingt owanty oursont obesl eepingwi t
h
mar ri
edwomanory oursont oabandonki dsout
therej ustbecauseofhowy ouactort heway
youl ead.Iwasnev erther e,
Iwat chedy our
upbringi ngfr om f r
om af ar ,
may beifIhadbeen
closer ,
togui dey oubecauseev eryoneneedsa
fatherf igurei nt heirli
ves.Butt hatsgoi ngt o
changer i
ghtnow. .
from t odayI '
m goi ngt obe
thefat herIwanty out obet oy ourkidsandwe
aregoi ngt ost artbyr ulenumberone. .It
squi t
e
simpl e..Youdontsl eepwi t
hf amily.
.Ti nais
familyandy ouwon' tsleepwi thher ..
Il
ookedatt
hemanbef
oreme,
Ichuckl
ed.
.How
di
dheknowt hat
?
Hi
m:I
'
m ser
ious.
.Shesgoi
ngbackt
oherhome
Me:
wher
eist
hat
?
Him:y
ouwanttof
oll
owher
?It
hinky
ouneed
del
iv
erance.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Iagr
eebecauseIcan'
tkeepmyey
esof
fher
..
Him:
sleepingwit
hrel
ati
vesi
sar
eal
l
ybad
combi
nat i
on..Tr
ustme.
.
.
*
*TobeCont
inued*
*

Let
'skeepi
tupguys,i
nthecor
por
ati
onissue.
.I
seewehaveimpr
ov edandIwon'
tl
ieI'
m happy.
Wi
l
lseeuguy
slat
erort
omor
row.
[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t46
KRI
S
.
.
Theunfamili
arcol
dnessf
orcedmyeyesopen,I
bl
inkedacoupleofti
mesuntil
Ist
art
edgett
ing
aclearver
sion.
Iwassl eepingonabed, butnotav ery
comf ort
abl ebedandhadar aggedbl anketov er
me,itwasi nt attershonest l
yandIf iguredt hats
whyIwasf eelingcold.Ilookedar ound,ev en
thought herewasunpl easantsmel linthesmal l
room ev er
y thi
ngseemedt obei npl ace.Ther e
wasn'tmuchi n, ot
herthanaf ewpot satt he
cornerandaf ewpl at
esandcups.Thehouse
seemedol d,event heclothesIsawhangedat
thecorneroft hehouse.Agi rlgotinsidet he
house,youngert hanmebutnott hatmuch, she
hadachi l
d,aboychi l
dwi th,
4or5Year s
togetherwi thher .Theylookeddi rt
y ,especiall
y
t
hesmal
lchi
l
d,hehadmucusal
lov
erhi
sface.
Gi
rl
:hel
l
o
Me:
hi
Gir
l:
myf at
herfoundyouatt
hebedsi
deoft
he
ri
ver,
andbroughtyouher
ebecausey
ouwere
notwakingup.
All
ofthismademer ememberLebo.
.t
he
doctor
..
thei
nject
ions..Bandi
l
e.
Gi
rl
:ar
eyouokMam?
Me:
yes.
.wasIal
one?
Shenodded.
.Thesmallboywhi
spered
somethi
nginhereart
hatIdi
dn'
tevenhear
.She
nodded.
Gir
l:
myfatherwentt
olookf
orr
oot
s,sot
haty
ou
canfeel
better
Me:
root
s?
Gi
rl
:medi
ciner
oot
s..
tr
eer
oot
sthatar
emedi
cine
Me:
ohw
Gir
l:
letmegoandgety
ouf
ood,
I
'm sur
eyouar
e
hungry.
.
Me:
howol
dar
eyou?
Gi
rl
:15
Me:
mynamei
sKr
is,
what
'
syourname?
Gi
rl
:Nol
wazi
,
andmybr
otheri
scal
l
edNt
hando
Ismi ledather ,
thenshewal kedout .She
seemedsobr ight.Iwasi nt hatsit
uationwher eI
didn'tpityherorherbr otherbutIpr ai
sedher
charact er.Justa15y earoldandshecanhav e
suchacal m charact erli
keher s,
exposedt o
suchcondi t
ions.Ilookedatmy sel
f,Iwasst i
lli
n
thehospi t
al gown, t
heweaknessIhadbeen
feeli
ngwaswear yingof f.Igotoffthebedand
stagger edar ound, myl egsfeltwobbl ythatI
resortedt osi tont hebed.AsIsatdownmy
mi ndst artedwonder ingifBandi l
ecameand
didn'tf i
ndmeordi dheev ercome. .Ofcausehe
came, helovesme. .hewoul d.AllIwant edwas
tobehome, inmybedandwakeupf rom thi
s
dr
eam.
"Chi
ld"avoi
cesai
dmakingmer ai
semyhead,a
manst oodatt
hedoor
,anoldman..
hehada
sti
cktosuppor
thi
m walk.Hewasreal
lyol
d..
.
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ady
ouar
eawake
Hecameandsatbesi
desme,
hewashol
dinga
cup.
Him:youwereatthebanksideoft
he
ri
ver.
.somethi
ngterri
blemusthav
ehappened,
soIdecidedthaticannotleav
eyoual
onether
e
thenIbroughtyoutosafet
y
Ismi
l
edast
ear
scascaded
Me:
thanky
ousomuch.Thi
sgi
rl
s..
theywant
ed
t
okil
lme
Him:Uzobakahleheav enswerewithyou.
.I
broughtyouthisroot
s,theywi
llhelpyouregai
n
yourstr
ength.Justchewt hem butdont
swall
owandy ouwill
beokagai n.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.Fat
her
Hi
m:y
ouar
ewel
comemychi
l
d..
chewi
tup.
.
Hesai dgivingmet hecup, Itooki tthen.He
wal kedt osomet ablelikeandcameback
holdingt wophones, mineandt heot herphoneI
goti nthecar .Hehandt hem t omet henWal ked
out.Theywer ebot hoffandwer eofnousei f
theywer eof fandl ooki
ngar oundt her ewasno
Eletrici
ty.Ihel dthecupaf terput ti
ngt hephones
asideIhesi tat edabi t
,wonder i
ngwhyt hisold
manwoul dwantt ohur taftershowi ngsuch
kindnesst omet henIf iguredhewoul dn'
t.Itook
ther ootstomymout handchewed, theyhad
thisbi t
tertast ebutIdi dn'tst op.Af terchewi ng
them al lIstoodup, myl egsf eltabi tbet t
er.I
wal kedout side,sl owlyofcausecar ef ul
lytaking
eachst ep.WhenIst eppedout si det herewas
stil
l abitofl i
ghtbuti twasget tingdar k.
Ther
ewasasmal
lfi
rewher
etheywer
e,Nt
hando
rant
owar
dsme.
.
Hi
m:t
ata!Uv
uki
l
e!
Hescreamedasheheldmyhand.Ther
ewas
t
hisjoyi
nhisvoi
cethatmelt
edmyheart
.I
walkedtot
hem wi
thhim st
il
lgr
aspi
ngmyhand
t
ightl
y.
Isatonar
ockbesi
desNol
wazi
.Theol
dman
l
ookedatmesmili
ng.
Hi
m:f
eel
bet
ter
?
Me:
yest
hanky
ou
Hi
m:Nono.
.bequi
ck
Ther
ewasapotcooki
ngont
hef
ir
e.
Me:
needhel
pNono?
Her
:no,
j
ustsi
t.
.Nt
hando!
Shecall
edouttoherbrot
herwhowasnow
play
ingadist
antfr
om us.Herant
owar
dsheras
shewalkedtothehouse.
Hi
m:whati
syournamechi
l
d?
Me:
mynamei
sKr
is
Hi
m:ok.
.mynamei
sChar
lesNdaba
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:andthosear
emygr
andki
ds.
.Nol
wazi
and
Nt
hando
Me:
thei
rpar
ent
s?
Him:shesai
dshesgoingtol
ookforajob,by
thenmywifewasstil
lal
i
veandfr
om thereI
neversawheragai
n
Me:
yourdaught
er?
Him:yes,
thesear
eherki
ds.
.Sheabandonedher
kids,
Idontknowwhat'
sgoi
ngtohappenifIdi
e
today.
.
Heshookhi
shead.
.
Me:
i
sshey
ouronl
ychi
l
d?
Hi
m:no..
Ihav
e2sons.
.whoIdontknowwher
e
t
heyare.
.t
heynev
ervi
sitf
requent
ly.
.
Inodded,
onethingforsureIwouldneverdot
his
tomymot herorfat
her,becausether
e'sno
cruel
tybi
ggerthanthi
s.Nolwazicameback
hol
dingpl
ates.
Hi
m:wear
ejustasmal
lfami
l
y..
Theenvir
onmentwasjusthappyr
egardl
essof
thesi
tuat
ionbutwhatcanbemorewonder f
ul
morethanalovi
nghome,ahomef i
l
ledwithlov
e.
Nolwazi di
shedforev ery
one,herandNt hando
wereShar i
ngapl ate.Shedishedpapand
somethingelse,i
tseemedl ikev eggi
esbutnot
theveggiesI'
m usedt othoughIdi dn'
task
anythi
ng.Everyonewaseat i
ngsoIat eandit
didn'
ttastebadeitherway ,i
ttastedbett
erthan
whatmyownsi stercooks.Af tereat
ing,
itwas
nowdar k.Nolwaz i
tookt hedishes..
Me:
arey
ouwashi
ngt
hem?
Her
:yes,
Me:
l
etmehel
pyou
Isai
dst
andi
ngup.
.
Her
:nodon'
twor
ry.
.
Me:
no,
youdontwor
ry.
.Let
'
sgo
Shelookedathergr
andf
atherwhogav
ehera
node.
Her
:ok.
.
Ifol
l
owedhert
ojustadi
stancef
rom wher
ethe
fi
rewas.
.
Shehadadi
shwi
thwat
er.
.
Ikneltdownandst
art
edwashingwit
hher
,ev
en
thoughther
ewasnosoupjustsand.
Me:
arey
ougoi
ngt
oschool
?
Her:y
es,grade9,
Iskippedacl
ass.
.myteacher
saidI'
m abr i
l
li
antchil
dsoIcandograde9t hi
s
yearinst
eadofgr ade8
Me:
wow!
youar
eout
standi
nggi
rl
..
highf
ive
Isai
dhi
tt
ingherhand.
.Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:andy
ou?
whi
chgr
adear
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
I'
m atVar
sit
y
Her:wow!IwishonedayIcanal
sogot
ovarsi
ty
butIknowmyf at
herdoesn'
thav
emoneyt
o
sendmet her
e
Me:
oh
Her:
yessoaft
ermat
ri
cIwi
ll
gol
ookfora
j
ob,andbeabl
etopr
ovi
def
ormyfat
herand
Nthando
Shesmi
l
edasherey
esl
i
tup.
Me:
ok
Her
:doyouknowmyf
atherusedt
obea
t
eacher
..
Me:
ohw,
that
sni
ce
Her
:yes,
he'
stheonewhohel
psmesomet
imes
Me:
doy
ouhav
efr
iends?
Her
:no.
.t
heysaymyf atheri
sawi
tchsothey
won'
tbefri
endswithmebutIdontcar
e..
abant
u
bay
ebelokhubekhuluma
Me:
whatdoest
hatmean?
Shesmi
l
edabeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e
Her
:peopl
ewi
l
lal
way
stal
k,
soIdontcar
e
Me:
that
sthespi
ri
t.
.
Aft
erawhileweweredone,wewalkedwit
ht he
di
shesinsi
dethehouse.
.Weplacedthem atthe
cor
ner,
thenshetookaparaff
inl
ampandl iti
t
up.
Her
:youar
ereal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Me:
soar
eyou.
.
Her
:youar
ever
yli
ghti
ncompl
exi
on.
.
Ismiled.Sheputthel
ampdownt henwe
walkedoutside.Ther
estoftheeveningwas
fun,
Idontknowwhenl astIfel
tli
ke
that
,caref
ree..
orwhenlastIsmil
edli
kethator
evenlaughed.
Attheendoftheday ,
NolwaziandIsl
eptonthe
bed,t
henNthandoandf at
hersl
eptonthefl
oor
buttheyhadblanket
s.Theyseemedtomanage
wellwit
htheraggedblanket
smeaningIhadto
adjust.AsIcl osedmyey esIthoughtabout
everythi
ngt hathappenedt oday.Itr
iednott o
thi
nkabouti tbutIsti
llfel
tlikethisi
sal lmy
fault
,Ishouldhav eli
stened.Af t
erawhi leI
fi
nallyslept
.Iwasawakenedbyabr ightli
ght
thatrefl
ectedt hewhol eroom, Il
ookedar ound
anditwasst il
ldarkandi tseemedl ikethere
wasacarout si
de.Ilookedbesi desmeand
Nonowasawakeandsheseemedscar ed.
Nono:
tat
a..
ShesaidabitloudthatFatherCharleswoke
up,hewasalsoassur pri
sed.Moment slat
er
therewasaknockont hedoor.Ibetitwas
around02.
00a. m atnight
..
FatherCharl
eswokeupandwentt ot he
door,andopenedi
t.
.hedidn'
tseem scaredatal
l.
Iheardsomemumbl i
ngsthenhewal kedback
i
ncl osingt
hedoor
.
Him:
Kri
smychil
d,
doy
ouknowany
onebyt
he
nameofAndi
l
e?
Myhear
tski
ppedabi
t.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
e?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
ohmyGod. .
he'
sher
e..
yesIdo.
.he'
s
my.
.boy
fri
end
Hi
m:wel
lhe'
sher
efory
ou.
.
Isatupst
rai
ght
..
Nono:
youal
readyl
eav
ing?
Hi
m:Nono.
.Kr
ishasahomeofherown.
.and
t
heyneedher
Shel
ookedatmet
henhuggedme.
.
Her
:Il
ovedhav
ingy
ouar
ound
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ocomev
isi
t,
Ipr
omi
se.
.
Her
:Iwi
l
lwai
tfory
ou
Nthandowasjustlooki
ngatme,
Icoul
dcl
ear
ly
seehisfaceduetotheli
ght
s.
Me:
comeher
ebaby
Isai
dopeni
ngmyar
ms.
.
Hecameandwehuggedt i
ght
ly.Funnyhowa
bondcanbefor
medinafewhour s.Af
ter
huggi
ngIgotof
fthebed.
.
Fat
her
:Iwi
l
lkeepy
oui
nmypr
ayer
schi
l
d..
Me:
met
oo
Ihuggedhi
m..
Het
henopenedthedoorforme,
Bandil
ewas
f
aci
ngtheot
hersideandhewasont hephone.
.
Him:yeah..
I'
m Wai
ti
ngforhim butI
'm sur
eShe'
s
here.
.IhopeSheshere.
.ai
i
ishedriv
esmecr azy
Ist
oodst
il
lwi
thev
ery
onebehi
ndme.
Themomenthet urnedourey esmet,heput
awaythephonethencamet owar dsmet aki
ng
meinat i
ghthug.
.God!Ineededthis..Ii
nhal
ed
hi
sCologneasIhuggedhi m back..
Icouldn'
t
st
opthetears,
Iwashappy .
Hi
m:f
uck!
Iwaswor
ri
ed.
.
Hesaidki
ssi
ngmyfor
ehead.Hepul
ledout
af
terawhil
eandwi
pedoffmytear
..
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.I
'
m sosor
rybabe.
.
Me:
it
sok..
ummhThisisFat
herChar
les,
hiski
ds
Nol
wazi
andNthando.
.
Isai
dpoi
nti
ngatt
hem.
.
Bandi
le:
itsni
cetomeety
ouandt
hanky
ouf
or
keepi
nghersafe
Fat
her
:i
tsokSon.
.keepsaf
eKr
is
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
.
Iwavedatthem bef
orewal
ki
ngtothecarwi
th
Bandi
leofcauseholdi
ngmyhand.
Heopenedthepassengerdoorforme,
thenhe
al
sogotinandstar
tedthecar.
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Me:
i
tsok
Isai
dhol
dinghi
shand
Me:
I'
m happyy
ouar
eher
e,t
haty
ouf
oundme
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hedrov
eaway ,
thejourneybackhomewasl
ong
t
hatIevenf
ell
asleep.Iwokeupwhenhewas
wi
pingmewithsomet hingwet.
Inot
icedwewer
ebackathi
shouse,
onhi
sbed.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hey
..
Hi
m:sl
eep
Hesai
dbefor
ewalkingt
othebat
hroom,
when
hecamebackhegotinbesi
desmeandpull
ed
meontopofhimthatIl
aymyheadonhischest
.
Hi
m:sl
eepbabe.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Iwokeupt henextdayandIwasal onei nbed.I
gotupandt hatswhenInot icedIwasonl y
dresseduphi sshi rtnowt hatlookedal mosta
dressonme. .Iwal kedt othebat hroom,
brushedmyt eetht hent ookashower .Aft
er
shower i
ng,Iwr appedat owel onmybedt hen
l
ookedatmyr eflecti
onont hemi rror.Isti
ll
l
ookedt hesame, onlythemesshai rwasa
diff
erence.Iwal kedoutf r
om t hebat hroom and
steppedint hebedr oom.ThemomentIgoti n
hewasal soget tingi nholdingat raywi thfood.
Hi
m:Imadebr
eakf
ast
..
Ismi
l
edasIwal
kedt
owar
dshi
m.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Hi
m:si
t.
.
Isatont
hebedandhesatbesi
desme.
Hi
m:Idontknowhowt omakechocol
ate
muff
insbutIguesst
hiswi
lldo
Ther
ewer
e2sl
i
cesofFr
encht
oast
,some
scr
ambledeggs,
Baconandpol
ont
hencof
fee
onthesi
de.
Me:
thi
swi
l
ldo,
thanky
ou
Hehelpedmeeatorr at
herweat etoget
her.I
missedhim,
ev enthoughIwasv ulner
abl
ewi t
h
hi
m Isti
ll
lovedbeingwi t
hhim butthenagain
i
m Alwaysvulnerabl
ewi t
hhim Iguess.
Af
tereat
inghepl
acedev
ery
thi
ngasi
de.
.
Him:whathappenedshoul
dn'
thav
ehappened.
.
I
'm sor
ry
Me:
i
tsok,
plusIshoul
dhav
eli
stened
Him:t
herewasnowayy ouwouldhave
known..
plushavi
ngabi ghear
tisyouandyou
can'
tchangeitbutnextti
mey oushoul
dbe
morecarefulonwhoy ouchoosetohangout
wit
h
Inodded,
hewasr
ight
..
Hi
m:y
oul
ookedf
unnyy
est
erday
..I
nthegown.
.
Hesai
dlaughi
ng
Me:
that
snotni
ce,
didy
ouf
indt
hem?
Him:yeah,
don'
twor
ryaboutt
hem,
theywi
l
lnev
er
botheryouagai
n
Me:
youki
l
ledt
hem?
Iaskedknowi
ngt
heansweral
ready
..
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Him:t
heywantedyoudead..Thi sisnotthe
sit
uati
ontoshowbigheart
..theywant edto
messwi t
hmebecausetheyknowhowmuch
youmeant ome,I
'
m notGod. .Idon'tgi
ve
chancestopeopl
ewhodon' tdeser veit
Ikeptqui
te,
hewasget
ti
ngupset
..
Hi
m:Il
oveyou,
andI'
m goi
ngtokil
lforyouifI
must
..
Itol
dyouthi
snowlet'
sdropitri
ght.
.
Inodded
Hi
m:y
oupr
omi
se
Inoddedy
etagai
n,hesi
ghed.
Him: Idi
dn'
tmeant oscareyouhav e,butj
ust
thatifanyt
hinghappenst oyou..
Idon'tknow
ok..
y oumeanal ottome,everyt
hinghas
changedev ersinceyoucame..Ilov
ey ou,andI
can'thaveanythinghappeni
ngt oyou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Hi
m:goodnowcanwest
opt
alki
ngaboutt
his,
i
ts
maki
ngmeupset.
.
Me:
ok.
.how'
sLeah?
Hi
m:Leahi
sfi
ne,
andt
hisi
sourt
ime.
CanIhavesomet i
mewi
thy
ounotwor
ryi
ng
abouty
ourfri
ends?
Me:ok.
.butonemor
ethi
ng.
.Ineedt
osubmi
tmy
assi
gnment s
Hi
m:ok.
.l
ater
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Helookedatme,makingmeal
lshy
,maki
ngfeel
l
ikearetar
ded.Myfacewasev
enburni
ngthatI
l
ookeddown..
Him:whyar
ey oushyt
hough?Imeanit'
s
August,
westart
eddat
ingl
astyearbutyoust
il
l
shywithme
Me:
stopst
arr
ingatmet
hen
Hi
m:no.
.Iwont
..
Het
il
tedmyheadt
hathel
ooksi
ntomyey
es.
.
Hi
m:whyar
eyouwear
ingey
econt
act
s..
Ikeptqui
teashel
ookedatme.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ourey
est
hewayt
heyar
e,t
aket
hem
of
f.
.
Hesaidsof
tl
ybuty
etIcoul
dtel
lhewas
ser
ious.
.
Itookthem of
f,
hewi
pedawayt
het earthathad
ranonmycheekduetomeaccidental
lypoking
myey e.
Hi
m:youar
ebeautif
ull
iket
his.
.Whydoy
ou
weart
hem ei
therway?
Me:
Idontwantt
olookl
i
keawei
rdo
Hi
m:aweirdo?
you?YouareBeaut
iful
..
.You
i
nti
midat
ewomenoutt her
ewithyourbeaut
y..
Ismi
l
edshy
ly.
.
Him:youarebeautif
uli
nandoutandIlov
eyou.
.
Youar edi
ff
erent,andIl
oveyouwit
hyour
di
ffer
ence..
Ijustsmil
edunabl
etospeak.
.
Hekissedmyl i
ps,
Ipul
ledhi
m muchcloser
l
etti
nghistoungei
nvademymouth.Hegoton
topofmethenheldmyhandsont opofmy
headthenpull
edout.
Him:y
ouknowI
'
veal
way
swant
edt
oli
cky
our
ski
n..
Hesai
dlooki
ngatme.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.andi
mmadoi
tnow.
.
Helickedmyneck,maki ngmegi ggl
ebecausei
t
wast i
ckli
sh.
.Hecontinuedlicki
ngmet i
l
lhe
wasatmycl eavage,
heundidt he
towel,
unwrappi
ngsot hatIwasnakedbef or
e
him.Hewentdownt omyboobssucki ngeach
makingmehol dmybr eath,hewentdownt omy
navelthenuptomyt highsthenhestopped.
.
Hi
m:"
Bodyl
anguagei
sal
lshe'
str
ynaspeak
That
'sokay
,that
'sal
ri
ght
,goal
lday
,goal
lni
ght
,
I
'mmabeast"
Iwasal
readypant
ing.
.Want
ingandneedi
ng.
Hebr ushedhi shandsoft
lyonmypussy ,making
mesl ightl
yclosemyey esfeelingthesensati
on.
Afterawhi l
ehest opped,andhi smouthhad
replaced.Ibi
tmyl owerli
pt r
yingtoholditin,
my
toescur l
edast hewaveofpl easurehi
tme. .
Me:
ohhh.
..
Ibr
eat
hedhar
dtr
yingt
orecov
er.
Hi
m:comeher
e
Hesai
dpul
li
ngmewi t
hmylegt
owardshim,
he
mademestandupandwal
kedmetowardst
he
dr
essi
ngt
able.
Hi
m:hol
dther
e..
Myhear
twasnowi
nmymout
h,i
wasbr
eat
hing
har
d.
Itouchedt hedr essi ngtableandhest ood
behi ndmet henpar tedmyl egswi thhis.
Wit houtwar ningheeasedi n,slowlyasI
accommodat edhi m.HewassodeepandI
coul df eelal
lofhi mi nme.Heputhi shandson
mywai standeasedoutsl owl ythenslammed
backi n,hewasr augh. .
butnott hatmuch, hewas
goingdeeperhi t
tingt hespott hatisdelicious,
maki ngmescr eam meani nglesst hi
ngs.I
grippedt hehairdresst ableasIr eachedt he
peakoft hepl
easur e,reachingclimaxhar dt hat
mywhol ewasv ibrat i
ngasIcamehar dandhe
thrusti nagain,hardert hanbef oreasheshothi s
l
oad.Sl owlyhepul ledout ,
pickedmeupand
walkedwit
hmetothebedmakingmestraddl
e
hi
m andIknewwhatwasabouttogodown..
I
'v
enev err
odhi
m bef
ore.
.
Me:
Idon'
tknowhow.
.-
Hi
m:dontwor
ry,
Iwi
l
lteachy
ou
*
***
***
***
***
**
Il
ayonhischest
,tr
yingt
ocatchmybreat
h..
thi
s
wasafi
rst.Heki
ssedmyf or
ehead.
.
Hi
m:y
ouwer
egoodbabe
Igi
ggl
ed.
.
Me:
mhhm.
.
Wekeptqui
te.
.
Me:
Iwantt
ohel
pfat
herChar
les
If
inal
l
ysai
daf
terawhi
l
e..
Hi
m:If
igur
ed.
.Iwi
l
ldoi
t.
.
Me:
youwi
l
l?
Hi
m:mhhm f
ory
ou
Me:
thanky
ou
Justt
henhi
sphonest
art
edr
ingi
ng.
.
Hi
m:handmemyphone.
.
Ir
eachedupt
oitt
henhel
dit
,i
twaswr
it
ten
Work
Me:
i
tsourt
ime,
youshoul
dhav
eswi
tchedi
tof
f.
.
Hi
m:y
oucanansweri
t.
.
Il
aughedgi
vi
ngi
ttohi
m..
Me:nah.
.Idontdowackshi
t,
Ihav
entl
ostmy
i
ntegri
ty
Hechuckl
edasheanswer
ed.
Hi
m:yeah?.
.shoul
dn'
tyoubet
ell
i
ng
St
eve?.
.so?
..cal
lSt
eve!
Thenhehungup.
.
Me:
Iwoul
dn'
twanty
ouasmyboss
Hi
m:ai
ibabet
hisgi
rli
sannoy
ing.
.Shes.
.t
oo
much
Me:
who'
sshe?
Hi
m:Idontknowandr
eal
l
ydontgi
vef
uckei
ther
way.
.
Heputhi
sphoneasi
de.
.
Me:
Iwantt
ogot
othesal
oon.
.IneedaBr
azi
l
ian
i
nmyhead
Hi
m:whatt
ime?
Me:
aft
erIseeThabi
.
.
Hi
m:af
terl
unch?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.
Hest
ooduppul
l
ingmewi
thhi
m..
Hi
m:l
et'
sgoshower
Me:
ok
Westoodundertheshoweraswaterhi
t
us.
.t
hensuddenl
yhestart
edlaughi
ng..
Me:
what
?
Him:Ican'
tbel
i
eveyouusedtobesoscaredof
sexthatyouwoul
dn'
tevenletusshower
toget
her..
Hecont
inuedl
aughi
ng.
.
Me:
mxm
Isai
dgi
vi
ngmybackannoy
ed.
.
Him:
babe.
.Yousai
dyoudontwant
..
.y
ou
dont
..
God!
Hecouldn'
tevenst
opl
aughi
ngandhewas
i
rr
it
ati
ngme. .
Hi
m:babe?
Ii
gnor
edhi
m andcont
inuedbat
hing.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.
Hesai
dlaughi
ng.
.
Hehuggedmefrom behi
ndandIcoul
dfeel
him
agai
nstmyass.
.
Him:babeifyoudontt
alkt
omeI
'
m gonnaf
uck
yourfatasshard
Me:
theny
ouar
egay
Hi
m:what
?
Het
urnedmear
ound.
.
Hi
m:whatdi
dyousay
?
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
Isai
dtheny
ouar
eGAY!
Isnapped.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lfuckt
hatsmal
lmout
hofy
our
snxl
a..
Hesaidpull
i
ngmylowerl
ipt
hatIsl
appedhi
s
handsoft
lysohel
etgo.
Hewasseri
ousashel
l
, i
nti
midat
ingbutI
r
efusedt
obeint
imi
dated.
.Notbyhim..
Me:
gayshi
t!
Imumbl
edt
henhechuckl
edbef
orepi
cki
ngme
up.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m goi
ngt
ofucky
ouhar
d
Het
henpr
essedmybodyhar
dagai
nstt
hewal
l
andr aisedmeabi thighthendownashe
penet r
at edme, t
hef eeli
ngwasj ustohsogood
butabi tpainful
,
Iclosedmyey estightl
yashe
startedmov ing,
fastandhar d, goinginandout
tapingmehar dthatIcoul dn'tev enbreath
any mor e,Iwasnumb, he'sthrust swer efr
equent
andIcoul dfeelit,
mybodywasget ti
ng
ready ,
andIwascl ose..socloseandonemor e
thrustIexpl odedintosmal lpiecesandagai n
thrustinonceagai n,harderthanbef oreandhe
rel
eased.
Hepul
ledout
,r
eleasi
ngmesoIstandonmy
ownbutmylegswerejustwobbl
y,Icouldn'
t
st
andonmyownsoIhel dunt
ohimf orsuppor
t.
Hi
m:gayshi
tmyass!
Hesaidt
aki
ngmyhandsof
fhi
m soIsl
i
det
o
f
loor
..
Istar
tedl
aughing,
hewasmad.Quickl
yhe
showeredthenwalkedoutl
eav
ingmelaughi
ng.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
rybuty
ouhav
efi
neassbabe
Iscreamedashemadehi
swayoutoft
he
bathroom
Hi
m:Voet
sek
Hesaidoncehewasoutandil
aughed
har
d,af
terawhi
leIst
oodupandshoweredand
whenIgotint
heroom hewasget
ti
ngdressed.
Him:
babewhere'
smyblueamanishi
rt
?Il
ast
sawi
tthedayIwentt
oAustr
ali
a
Me:
wher
edi
dyoul
eav
eit
?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowbutsomewher
eint
hishouse.
.
Me:
youal
waysleaveyourthi
ngsscat
ter
edon
t
hefl
oor
..
I'
m notyourMaid!
Him:
woman!y
oucoul
dreal
l
ydomeabi
gfav
our
byhandi
ngmemyshir
t
Me:
youhav
est
art
edy
ousee.
.
Isai
dpoint
ingathi
ssweat
pant
sthatwer
eon
thef
loor
..
Me:
l
eav
eitont
hef
loorandIsweari
twi
l
l
di
sappeart
hesamewayy
ourshi
rtdi
d..
Hi
m:kant
ewhysoev
il
?whyoso?
Me:I'
mteachi
ngy
ousot
hatnextt
imey
ou
know!
Hi
m:mxm
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t47
KRI
S
.
.
Nott
rynabei
ndi
e
Nott
rynabecool
Justt
rynabei
nthi
s
Tel
lmear
eyout
oo?
Cany
ouf
eel
wher
ethewi
ndi
s?
Cany
ouf
eel
itt
hrough
Al
loft
hewi
ndows
I
nsi
det
hisr
oom?
'
CauseIwannat
ouchy
oubaby
AndIwannaf
eel
yout
oo
Iwannaseet
hesunr
ise
Ony
oursi
nsj
ustmeandy
ou
.
Li
ghti
tup,
ont
her
un
Let
'smakel
ovet
oni
ght
Makei
tup,
fal
li
nlov
e
Tr
y
(
Baby
,I'
mri
ghther
e)
Buty
ou'
l
lnev
erbeal
one
I
'
llbewi
thy
ouf
rom duskt
il
ldawn
I
'
llbewi
thy
ouf
rom duskt
il
ldawn
Baby
,I'
mri
ghther
e
I
'
llhol
dyouwhent
hingsgowr
ong
I
'
llbewi
thy
ouf
rom duskt
il
ldawn
I
'
llbewi
thy
ouf
rom duskt
il
ldawn
Baby
,I'
mri
ghther
e
I
'
llbewi
thy
ouf
rom duskt
il
ldawn
Baby
,I'
mri
ghther
e

.
Wewer
eshutl
i
keaj
acket
Sodoy
ourzi
p
Wewoul
drol
ldownt
her
api
ds
Tof
indawav
ethatf
it
s
Cany
ouf
eel
wher
ethewi
ndi
s?
Cany
ouf
eel
itt
hrough
Al
loft
hewi
ndows
I
nsi
det
hisr
oom?
Thesongpl ayedasBandi l
edrov etothe
hospital,
Lesedicall
edmey esterdaynight
i
nformi ngmet hatThabiwasawake.I fitwas
possibleIwouldhav ej
ustgonet herebutitwas
pastvisit
inghour.Il
ist
enedtot helyr
icsasthey
hunguponmyhear t,
eachword"Buty ou'l
lnever
bealone
I
'
llbewi
thy
ouf
rom duskt
il
ldawn
I
'
llbewi
thy
ouf
rom duskt
il
ldawn
Baby
,I'
mri
ghther
e"
IlookedatBandi
lewhowasf ocussedont he
roadeventhoughheseemedabi tdistract
ed
butIdidn'
twanttoreadmuchi ntoit.Even
thoughIknowhe'snotperfectorevencl oset
o
beinggoodbuthe'sthebest,
besttome.He
makesmehappy ,hemakessmi leev enwhenI
don'twantt o,andt hat swhymay beI'
m scared
tolosehi m becausenoonehasev ermademe
happyt othisst age, ormademesmi le,
mademy
l
ifeli
tupt ot helev el hehasgot ten.Somet imes
i
tdoesn' tseem r eal ,
itfeelsli
keI'mi namov i
e
becauset hewayt hef eeli
ngget swhenI '
m with
him,itsoverwhel mi ng,extraor
dinaryandi fit
sa
mov ie,orsomef ictiont henIdontwanti tto
end,Iwantitt ogoont illf
orever.Hepul l
edat
thehospi t
al..
Hi
m:cal
lmewheny
oudone.
.
Me:
Ok
Heleanedov ert omeandki ssedme, andthere
i
twasagai n..
theel ect
ri
cal vi
beIgetwhenour
l
ipsmeet .Heki ssedmehar derbutslowly,
passionat elymaki ngmef eeleverysingl
eofit.
Hepul l
edoutaf terawhile,t
henwi pedat earon
myf ace..Hef rownedpr obablywor ri
ed..
Me:
someti
mesIr
eal
i
zeIl
ovey
out
oomucht
hat
i
thur
ts.
.
Hesmi
l
ed
Him:sodoI.
.nowgomakesomeonef
eel
bett
er,
youar
enatur
alati
t.
.
Ismil
edasIgotof fhiscar,
thenwavedhim
goodbyebeforewalki
nginsidethehospi
taland
wentstr
aighttoherroom.Iheldthebasketof
fr
uit
sont heotherhandasIopenedt hedoor.
SheputherphonedownasIwal kedin,
seei
ng
hersmil
er el
axedamuscl einme..
Me:
wewer
eabi
tlat
e
Her
:Kr
is!
Iwal
kedupt
oherandhuggedhert
ight
ly.
.
Me:
nev
erdot
hat
..
everagai
n!
Her
:Iwon'
tIpr
omi
se.
.
Me:
Iwasscar
ed.
.
Her
:Iknow.
.I
..
just
..
-
Me:
it
sok,
wear
egoi
ngt
ogot
hrought
his
t
oget
her
Isatont
hechai
rbesi
dest
hebed.
Her
:t
hanky
ouf
orbei
ngt
her
e,wher
e'she?
Me:
ohwBandi
l
ehadt
ogetsomewher
e
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:youguy
sar
est
il
ltoget
herr
ight
?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
obv
iousl
yIbr
oughty
ouf
ood
Her
:t
hanky
ou,
Ihat
ehospi
tal
food
Me:
sodoi
..
Her:
so..
fi
ll
meuponwhat
'shav
ebeen
happeni
ng?
Me:
not
hingmuch.
.
Her
:Lesedi
say
syouwer
eki
dnapped
Me:
that
sint
hepast
,it
sov
er
Her:
I'
m gladyouar
esaf
e,y
ouneedt
olear
nto
pr
otectyoursel
f
Me:
prot
ectmy
sel
f?
Her:
yeah.
.agai
nstdangerbecauset
here'
sno
wayBandilei
sgoingtobethereeachminut
e..
Evenhispeopl
ecan'tevenkeepyousafe
Me:
hispeopl
e?
Her
:yeah.
.ummhhi
sfr
iendsImean
Me:
Thabi
?
Her:
hisfr
iends,t
heycan'
tal
waysbether
ewhen
he'
snotar oundsoyouhavet
olear
ntoprot
ect
your
self
Iknewthewholef
ri
endst
hingwasal
i
e,Icoul
d
seeri
ghtthr
oughher
.
Me:
prot
ectmy
sel
fhow?
Her
:howt
ouseagun.
.
Il
aughed
Me:
youmustbej
oki
ng.
.
Her
:I
'm ser
ious,
andhedoesn'
tseei
t
Me:
soNdi
l
edoesn'
twantmet
odoi
t?
Her
:yeahbutheknowsi
t'
stheonl
yway
Me:Thabihe'
sri
ght
,whatyouaresuggest
ingi
s
absur
d..WhywouldIwanttolear
nhowt ousea
gun?youknowwhatlet
'sdropthi
s..
Isaidgi
vingherthebusketoffood,
Isti
cked
aroundforawhi l
e..
thewholegunthi
ngwasj ust
i
nmymi nd,
Iknowdat i
ngBandi
leexposesme
toalotofshit
,Igetitbutusi
ngagun...
that
snot
whatIsignedupf or.
Her
:Kr
is?
Thabi
cal
l
edoutmaki
ngmecomebackt
o
ear
th.
.
Her:
i
fyoudontwantt
olear
nnobodywi
l
lfor
ce
youOk?
Inodded
Her:
good,
nowIl
i
key
ourhai
rst
yle.
.ev
eny
our
cl
othes
Me:
met
oo,
Idi
dity
est
erday
..
ItwasaBr azil
i
an32i nch,anditwasthefir
st
timeev erplait
ingahai rpiece,I
'
vealways
stickedwi t
hbr ai
dsandIwaswear ingalong
whi temaxi ski
rtthatgotupt omyf eetbuthada
sli
tf rom mymi dthigh,
wi thaLaceywhitetop
tuckedi n.
Her
:i
tmakesy
oumor
ebeaut
if
ul
Me:
thanky
ou,
wheny
ougetoutofher
e,wewi
l
l
f
ixy
ousomethi
ng
Her:
yeah.
.sot
here'
sthi
sr oadtri
p,
That
o,Lesedi
andKarabohavebeenplanning.
.
Me:
that
sni
ce
Her
:yeahandwewantall
thegi
rl
stocomewi
th
i
ncl
udingyouandLeah
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
thatwi
l
lbeni
ce.
.when?
Her
:i
mmedi
atel
ywhenv
arsi
tycl
oses.
.
Me:
Ok.
.
Her
:gr
eat
,youwi
l
ltal
kwi
thLeah
Me:
yeah,
abr
eakwoul
ddo.
.
Her
:yeah,
weal
lneedi
t,
somet
imeout
Me:
towher
e?
Her
:t
hegi
rl
shav
en'
tyetf
inal
i
sedt
hat
..
Me:
Ok
Thenur
set
hencamewi
tht
hedoct
or.
.
Dr
:andshessmi
l
ing.
.
Thi
sDoctorladywassomuchpr
ett
y..
Thabi
gi
ggledasshesaidt
hat.
.
Nur
se:
ummhmam,
i
tspastv
isi
ti
nghour
Thenur
sesai
dref
err
ingatme.
.
Me:
ohw.
.Ok
Ist
oodupandt
ookmyhandbag.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row
Her
:ok,
Istoodupandwal kedout,
andasIdidthatI
textedBandil
ethatIwasdone.Herepli
edwi t
h
ok.SoIwal kedoutsi
deandwait
edf orhi
mt here.
AsIdi dt
hatIcall
edSam..Heanswer edaft
era
whilebuthe'svoi
cesoundedstr
ained
Hi
m:si
s
Me:
hey
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m goody
ou?
Hi
m:nev
erbeenbet
ter
Me:
Ihopey
ouar
enotf
ucki
ngy
ourowncousi
n
Hi
m:r
elaxI
'
m not
Me:
good,
how'
smom?
Hi
m:shesok,
youneedt
ocal
lher
Me:
Ok,
andy
ourf
ather
?
Him:he'
sok..
funtobeexact
,Iwantedt
olandat
hishousebutthenI
'mtry
ingtost
ayawayfrom
theKZNgirl
..
Me:
KZNgi
rl
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.shecomesf
rom KZN.
.
Me:
ohw.
.goodt
hingt
her
e
Hi
m:buti
fshewant
sme.
.Idontknow
Me:
Sam!
Hi
m:I
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou.
.any
wayhow'
sschool
?
Me:
good.
.
Him:yourbir
thdayi
scomingup,wewon' tbe
r
epeat i
ngthesamet hi
ngthathappenedwith
yourprevi
ousbirt
hday.
.
Me:
Ij
ustwantpr
esent
s..
Hel
aughed
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.
.
Me:It
hinkImi
ghtgoonar
oadt
ri
pwhenv
arsi
ty
cl
oses..
Hi
m:t
hat
sgr
eat
,butwi
l
lyourmot
herbepl
eased?
Me:
i
t'
sjustf
orawhi
l
ethenIwi
l
lcome.
.
Hi
m:ai
iOk
Me:
Okby
e..
Ihungup,
rai
si
ngmyey
esKhany
awasst
andi
ng
befor
eme.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
hi
Hi
m:hey
..
Hesmi
l
ed
Hi
m:y
ouhav
ebeen.
..Scar
ce
Me:
yeahschool
andst
uff
Him:
Iunder
stand,
beent
her
e..
whatar
eyou
doi
nghere?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Ishoul
dbeaski
ngy
out
hat
..
Him:wel
lI'
m heret
oseesomedoct
orher
e,I
needhisopini
onandyou?
Me:
I'
m her
e,orwasher
etoseeaf
ri
end.
.
Hi
m:oh.
.
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:wel
lIhopey
ourf
ri
endi
sok.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Him:
Ok,
letmegetgoi
ng.
.Weshoul
ddocof
fee
someti
me..
Befor
eIcouldrepl
yIcaughtgl
i
mpseof
Bandi
lescarthatwaspar
kedadist
ancef
rom
us.
Me:
ummhmyl
i
fti
sher
e
Khany
atur
ned.
.
Hi
m:ohhhhubby
,hedoesn'
tl
ookhappy
,i
shea
j
eal
ousfr
eak?
Il
aughed
Me:
no!
Hi
m: goodbecauseunt
ilt
here'
sar i
ngt
her
e
whichisnot
..
there'
sst
il
lvacancyandI
'
m
al
l
owedt odot hi
s
Hesaidhuggingmebri
efl
y,af
terhepull
edback
hesmiled.
.Myjawhadjustl
it
eral
lydr
oppedon
thegr
ound..
Me:
why
..
.
Isai
dwit
hmyvoi
cebar
elyaudi
ble,
myhear
twas
beat
ingf
ast
.
Hi
m:becauseIcan,t
here'
snot
hingstoppi
ngme
ev
eny ourshi
tt
yfuckedupboyfr
iendfort
hat
matt
er
Hesai dbef orewal ki
ngaway .Igatheredmy
emot ionsandmy sel
fallt
ogetherasIwal kedto
thecar ,
Bandi l
ehadhi seyesonmeandI
couldn'ttelli
fhewasmadorwhatwi thhis
numbf acialexpressi
on.Itoodidn'tunderstand
whatj usthappened." becauseIcan,there's
nothingst oppingmeev enyourshitt
yf uckedup
boyfriend"
Whatdi
dthatev
enmean?
Igoti
nthecar
,andhewasj
ustl
ooki
ngatme.
Me:
hi
Hedidn'
tsayanythi
ng,j
ustst
arteddri
vi
ng.I
st
art
edfeeli
ngguilt
ybutIdi
dn'tunder
stand
whatIdi
d..
Ididnothi
ngwrong..Hesawi tt
oo.
.
Ashedr ov
e,Khany
a'swor
dsplayedoverand
overi
nmyhead"notevenyourshit
tyf
uckedup
boyfr
iend"
I
tdidn'ttakememucht imet ofigur
eoutthat
theyknoweachot her.
.Andt heyarebeefi
ng?
Andt hattheyareenemi es.
..WasKhany ausi
ng
met opissBandile?andt hi
swhol ebei
ng
fri
endlythingyi
sjustacov erup?
Istoleagl anceatBandi l
ewhowassoqui te,
thi
swasn' ttheBandil
eI'm usedto.
.heseemed
tensej ustfrom hi
sbodyl anguageIcouldt el
l.
Hewasmad? angry
?upset?Icouldn'ttel
l.He
drov einhisgarage,parkedthecarandgot
off,andwal kedinsi
dethehouse.If oll
owed
meekl ybehi ndhim.Hewentt otheki t
chen
straightaway ,
Itookadeepbr eathasIf oll
owed
hi
m.Hewasdri
nkingwineorwhat
evert
hat
was,
hewasf
rust
ratedanditwasme.
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Hecamet owar dsmeaf terputt
ingt hebot tl
e
down, hewasser i
ousashel l,
hewasi nt i
mi dati
ng
me.Iwant edt orun,runasf arasmyl egscan
carrymebutIwasst uck.Het ookanot herst ep
towar dsme, notbr eakingey econt act ,
Itooka
stepbackandmybackwasagai nstt hewal l,
no
wher etor unto.He' seyeswer esocol dbuty et
sosexy ,
hestoodbef oreme, hi
spi nkishl i
ps
par t
edsl i
ghtlyandhewasgunni ngf ormebutI
coul dntescape, hehadmeundersubj ectionand
Iwasst uck..
Iwashi spr eyandf earst rucki n
har dt hrowingmeabackbutatt hesamet i
meI
feltmy selfgetwetIwant edhim sobadbut ..
he
wasr eadyt okillme.
.
SAM
.
Dadhelpedmewal ktothecar,
withmom
behi
ndme.Sl owlyandcarefull
yhesatinthecar.
Ifel
tbetterbutIwasswol lenbutmyfacewas
muchbet ter.Ev
ent houghallIwasinpainbutI
didthi
nkaboutLi zzy,
Ikeptonwonder i
ngifshes
okornot .Wedr ovetomomshouseandt he
samepr ocesshappenedagai n.Caref
ull
yt hey
l
aymeonmybedav oi
dingexerti
ngmorepai n
onmybody .
Dad:
Iwasthi
nki
ngmay
bey
oumi
ghtv
isi
tmef
or
acoupl
eofdays.
.
Mom l
ookedatDad.
Her:
wit
hAgat
hat
her
e?y
ouwanthert
oki
l
lmy
son?
Me:
mom.
.I
'
m agr
ownassman!
Her
:andy
ouar
est
il
lmyson.
.
Me:Ineedt
omov eoutei
therway
,can'
tkeep
st
ayingwit
hyou
Her
:youdonthav
etobaby
..
Me:assoonasIheal
I'
m mov
ingout
,it
sal
lpar
t
ofgrowi
ngup
Dad:
yeah.
.Iwi
ll
tal
ktomystat
eagentt
oseei
fI
canf
ixsomethi
ngfory
ou.
.
Me:
yeah.
Il
aybackandclosesmyey es,
thepil
l
sIdr
ank
werepl
ayi
ngtheirpar
t.I
tdidn'
ttakememuch
ti
metodrowninblackness.
.
Sheswam t owar dsme, bleeding..
shewasi nthe
pool,f
ight i
ngt ogetoutbutshewas
tr
apped, somet hingwasbl ockingherandshe
wasl osi ngherbr eath..
shekeptmout hi
ngSam
andIt riedget ti
ngt oher,butIcoul dn'
treachher.
.
Somet hingwaspul li
ngmebackandshewas
dying..Shewasdy ingandIcoul dn'tsave
her..
Elizabet h!
Iscr eamedt henshesuddenl y
stoppedf ighti
ng. .Shest oppedf ighti
ngand
start
edf alli
ng,falli
ngdeepi nthepool..
li
fel
ess.
.
Noooooo!Iscr eamed. .
.
"Sam..
.Sam!.
.Sam"andmynamewascal l
ed
sever
al t
imes,
Icoul
dhearbut
..
.but
..
but
"Sam!
"
Me:
what
?
Isai
dshoot
ingupst
rai
ght
..Br
eat
hinghar
d..
Mom:
Sam.
..
Andi
twasadr
eam.
.She.
.
Me:i
tsadr
eam.
.Godi
tsf
ucki
ngGoddamni
t
Dr
eam!
Shehuggedmet
ight
ly.
.
Mom:
I'
m her
ebaby
..
Me:i
tfel
treal
.
.shewasdy
ingandIcoul
dn'
tsav
e
her
..
Mom:
hushbaby
..
it
'sgoi
ngt
obef
ine.
.
Af
terawhi
l
eIwascal
m,br
eat
hingnor
mal
l
y..
Mom:
what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
somemov
ieKr
issentme.
.t
hel
adywas
st
ucki
nthepool
andnobodycoul
dsav
eher
Mom:
youwat
cht
oomanyf
il
ms.
.
Me:
Ihav
etost
op
Mom:
yeah.
.i
tsdi
nnert
ime,
wil
lyoumanage?
Me:
yeah.
.
Shewalkedout
,It
ookaheav
ysi
ghofr
eli
ef.
..I
f
mom f
indsoutshewil
lfl
i
p.
AssoonasshewalkedputAl
exgoti
n,
shewas
hol
dingabowel
..
Her
:f
ort
hesi
ckImadef
rui
tsal
adonl
yfory
ou.
.
Shesai
dmet
hebowel
..
Me:
what
'
sthi
s?Cast
urdory
oughut
?
Her
:cast
urd.
.
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Her
:youar
ewel
come.
.Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
I'
m good.
..
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Me:
okoutwi
thi
t.
.whatdoy
ouwant
?
Her
:shee!Can'
tIbeni
ce?
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:y
ou?Alex
?benice?
youal
way
swant
somethi
nginret
urn
Her:
Idi
dn'
twantanythingbutsi
ncenowthat
youmenti
onedi
t.
..
IthinkIwantsomethi
ng
Me:
andwhati
sthat
?
Her
:Ineedaf
ewhundr
edsandanewphone.
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ongwi
thy
ourJ5?
Her
:i
tsol
dandbehi
nd.
.Ot
herki
dsar
eusi
ng
i
phones.
.
Me:
sot
hisi
swhati
tsabout
?youf
it
ti
ngi
n?
Her
:Idontwantt
obel
eftbehi
nd.
.
Me:Al
exalif
eofwantingt
oimpressother
peopl
eisexpensi
ve,
youwil
ll
oseyoursel
fini
t
Her
:Sam pl
ease
Me:
whi
chonedoy
ouwantnow?
Her
:Gal
axy7
Me:
Iwi
l
lseewhatt
odo.
.
Her
:andIneedP3000.
..
Me:
no3kisnotafewhundr
eds.
.I
'
m onl
ybuy
ing
t
hephone.
.whatdoy
ouneed3kfor?
Her
:al
otoft
hings,
cl
othesandIal
soneedgr
il
ls.
.
Me:
yoursi
sterhav
emoney
..
tal
ktoher
Her
:shesal
readyf
undi
ngsomet
hingel
se.
.
Me:
tal
ktoher
,I
'
m sur
eshewon'
tref
use.
.
Her
:ok.
.buti
fsher
efuses.
.
Me:
shewon'
t.
.nowt
samay
a!(
go)
Shewal kedout
,t
here'
snobodywho' smore
calcul
atingmor
et hanmysister.
.shecanev
en
succeededtobet hemastermindofabank
robberyandwon'tgetcaught,
thewayshesso
sneaky..
Il
ookedBesi
desmeandshehadl
eftherphone
besi
desme.
Me:
Alex!
Ical
l
edherandShecameaf
terawhi
l
e..
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:Iwil
lgi
vey
outhemoneybuty
ouhav
etodo
somethi
nginr
etur
n..
Her
:ok.
.whati
sit
?
Me:
Iwanty
out
ocal
lsomeoner
ightnow.
.
Her
:who?
Me:
j
ustsomeone.
.Cl
oset
hedoor
..
Her
:ok
Sheclosedt
hedoorandsatbesidesme.
.It
ook
herphoneanddial
edLizzy
'snumbert
henput
thephoneonloudspeaker
..
Her
:who'
sthi
s?
Me:
shhhhh
Thephonegotanswer
edaf
terawhi
l
e..I
twas
her
..
Li
zzy
:ummhhel
l
o?
Isatsignal
l
edAlextotal
k,r
easonwhyi s
becauseIwasn'tsur
eifshestheonlyone
l
isteni
ng,maybeTaylori
swithher.
ButIt
ookabr
eat
hofr
eli
efwhenIhear
dher
voi
ce.
.
Al
ex:
hel
l
o..
Li
zzy
:who'
sthi
s?
Her
:Al
ex.
.
Li
zzy
:Al
ex.
.Al
exhi
..
howdi
dyougetmynumber
?
Al
exl
ookedatmewit
hwi
deopeney
es,
I
mout
hedherKr
is.
.
Al
ex:
Kri
s..
ummhhol
donasec.
.
Al
ex:
who'
sthi
s?
Shewhi
sper
ed.
.
Me:
Eli
zabet
h..
Al
ex:
stepmom?
Inodded.
.
Al
ex:
Kri
sgav
eyournumberEl
i
zabet
h..
Li
zzy
:ohw.
.howar
eyousweet
y?
It
ookmyphoneandt
ypedwhatsheshoul
dsay
..
Al
ex:
I'
m good,
arey
ouwi
thdad?
Li
zzy
:ummmhno.
.no
It
ypedonmyphoneagai
n..
Alex
:ok,
ummmhohIwant
edt
otel
lhi
m
somethi
ng.
.
Li
zzy
:oh.
.
It
ypedagai
n..
Al
ex:
cany
ougocal
lhi
m?
Li
zzy
:he'
sinhi
sst
udy
,l
etmego.
.
It
ypedsomet
hingmor
efast
er.
.
Alex
:ummmhok..l
eav
eit
?Ummhdi
ddadgi
ve
yousomet
hing?
Alexl
ookedatmeconfused,
Iwashopingand
prayi
ngLi
zzyget
sit
..It
ypedagai
n,
breathi
ng
hard.
.
Alex
:sor
ryaboutt
hat.
.i
tsmyfr
iend.
.Ummhdo
youknowthemov i
ecall
ed"
didhebeaty
ou?"By
S.Mathews?
Li
zzy:
ummhy es.
.y
esIknowit.
.Ummhy ou
shoul
dalsoreadthenovel
stoo.
.hewri
tes
novel
stoo,
readtheonecall
ed"Arey
ouAlive?
"
It
ypedsomet
hingagai
n..
Alex:
wil
lcert
ainlydosobutj
ustthatIl
ikeS.
Sheldonespecial
lyt
heonecall
ed"I'
m sorr
y,i
ts
al
l me"
Li
zzy
:ohht
hat
sgr
eat
!gr
eatt
ast
eAl
ex.
.
Iputmyphonedown.
.
Al
ex:
yeah.
.Iwi
l
lcal
lagai
n
Li
zzy
:okby
e
ThenAl
exhungup.
.
Her
:5k
Me:
forwhat
?
Her
:f
ordoi
ngwhatIdi
d
Me:
andwhati
sitt
haty
oudi
d?
Her
:t
hat
..
Me:
oknowgo.
.
Her
:yeah.
.
Shewalkedout.
.It
ookadeepbr
eat
hofr
eli
efat
l
eastshe'
sali
ve.
.
Aft
erawhil
eIwassi
tt
ingwi
thmom andAl
ex
havi
ngdi
nner.
Mom:ummhSam tomor
rowyourfat
hersai
dhe
want
stohi
reapr
ivat
enursef
oryou
Me:
no..
noI
'mfi
ne,
IdontneedanursebutIwant
t
oswingbyhi
shousetomorr
ow..
Mom:
forwhat
?
Me:
stuf
f
Mom l
ookedatme.
.
Me:andIwasser
iousaboutt
hemov
ingout
t
hing,
it
sti
meIgetmyspace..
Mom:
ok.
.
Al
ex:
Iwi
l
lmov
einwi
thy
ou
Me:
no!
Idontmov
einwi
thpeopl
eli
key
ou
Al
ex:
mxm
Goingtomyf ather'
shouse,i
t'
sbecauseIwant
toseetheblackbeaut y
,notthatIwantherbutI
j
ustwantt oseeher .
.Ihaveneverfel
tthatway
wit
hany one,onlyher.
.t
hefeeli
ngwasj ustnew
and..
and..
whoam If ooli
ng,
ofcauseIwant
her.
.Godwillfor
giveme,hehast o.
.
.
KRI
S
.
Het rappedmebyput t
inghishandsatmysi des,
Icouldl i
ter
all
yhearmyhear tbeatf
ast.He
rai
sedhi shandandIshutmyey esti
ghtly,
prayinghedoesn'tdoi t
,buthesoft
lyt
rail
edhis
handonmyf ace,
bri
ngingmet owar
dshi mthen
smasheshi sli
psonmymi ne.Heki
ssedme
hardt hatIstr
uggledtokeepup.Hepul l
edout
afterawhi l
e..
Hi
m:y
ouar
emi
neKr
is.
.
Hesaidaft
erawhi
l
eofl
ooki
ngatme.
.I
nodded.
.
Hi
m:good,
wedonthav
etor
emi
ndeachot
her
t
hatdowe?
IshookmyheadasIswal
l
owedhar
d.
Her etreatedandwentupst ai
rs,Iletgomy
breatht hatIhadbeenhol di
ng.Iwant edtotel
l
hi
m Il ov ehim, assur
ehi
m butIcoul dn'
teven
fi
ndmyv oice.Isatonthefl
oor ,
tr
yingtoget
my sel
ft oget her.Momentsl
aterIhear daknock
ont hedoor ,Istoodupandwal kedupt oit
.
Openi
ngi
tIv
ywasst andingattheot
her
si
de,
smil
i
ngherbeautif
ul smi
leasal
ways.
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Shesai
dhuggi
ngme,Ihuggedherbackt
hen
shepul
l
edoutaft
erawhile.
.
Me:
Mma.
.
Her
:howar
eyoubaby
?
Me:
I'
m goodpl
easecomei
n..
Imovedfrom t
hedoorsoshegetsi
n.Shegoti
n
thehouseandIfol
l
owedbehindher
.
Her
:wher
e'sAndi
l
e?
Me:
he'
supst
air
s
Her
:cany
ougocal
lhi
m..
InoddedasIwentupst ai
rs,
goingtoBandil
e
wasat askIdidn'
twanttocomplete,
notafter
whatjusthappened.
.Igottothebedroom t
hen
sl
owlyopenedt hedoorandgotin.
.
Hehadat
owel
onhi
slowerbody
,andwaswet
,i
t
seemedli
kehewasjustf
rom t
heshowerand
hewasfacingt
heot
hersidesohecoul
dn'
tsee
me.
Me:
ummmhy
ourmom i
sher
e..
Het
urnedandl
ookedatme.
.qui
ckl
yIl
eftt
he
r
oom.
Me:
he'
scomi
ng
Isai
dasIgoti
nthesi
tt
ingr
oom wher
eIv
ywas.
Me:
canIpoury
ouj
uice?
Her
:noI
'
mfi
nesweet
y,howi
sschool
?
Isatdown
Me:
school
isf
ine
Her
:t
hatsgood,
whatabouty
ouandBandi
l
e..
Howareyouguys?
Mymout hwantedtotel
lherthatyourson.
.
Was..
isangr
yatme. .
Idi
dntev enknowwhat's
happeni
ngmy sel
f.
.Iwasperplexed.
.
Me:
wear
egood
Her
:r
eal
l
y?
Me:
yes,
how'
sEnhl
e?
Her:
ohhBandi
l
edi
dn'
ttel
lyou.
.shescomi
ng
backtoday
Me:
comi
ngback?
Her:
wellwhenshegotrel
eased,Thedoctorsaid
shemightneedsomefreshair
..
I'
m sohappy
shemanagedtobeattheotherpersonnelshe
had,
anywayssoBandil
ethoughtitwasbeatif
shegoesforamonthvacati
onaway ..
Inodded
Me:
that
sgr
eat
..
Her:
yeah,
wear
egoi
ngt
opi
ckherupatt
he
ai
rport
..
Me:
ok
Bandilecamedownafterawhi le,
alr
eady
dressed.Il
ookedathi
m,thenletmyey esf
all
down.IdontknowhowIf elt
..Ihadmixed
emotions.
.Iexpect
edhi
mt otel
lmethi
sbutas
al
way shekeptitawayf
rom me,
butt
henaft
er
al
l.
.I
'
m notfami l
y.
Hi
m:mom
I
vy:
hey
..
let
'sgopi
ckupEnhl
e..
Istoodupandwal kedupst airs,Iwasn'
tmadat
him,Iwasdi sappointed..Ev erytimeIaskabout
Enhlehebr ushesmeof f.Ther ewasat ime
wher eheusedt ot ellmeev erythi
ngbuti tall
changed.Igoti nt
ohi sbedr oom andt ookmy
handbag,tookmyphonechar gerandmyl aptop
andmycarkey sthenwal keddownst airswi t
h
them.Hewasnowsi tti
ngdownwhenIgot
downst ai
rs.
I
vy:
ohwher
ear
eyougoi
ngKr
is?
Me:Ipr
omisedmyf
ri
endIwoul
dspendt
he
ni
ghtwithher
Bandi
l
elookedatme.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lseeEnhl
etomor
row.
.Ummhgoodni
ght
mma
Iwalkedout
sidethentothegarage,
Idi
dn'
tev
en
real
izehewasbehindmeunt i
lheheldmywaist
stoppi
ngmef rom wal
king.
.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
i
tsl
ate,
Iwantt
ogohome
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry,
Ishoul
dhav
etol
dyou,
Ij
ust
..
.
Me:
i
tsok.
.
Hecameandstoodri
ghtinfr
ontofme,t
hen
tookmylapt
opandhandbag,andpl
acedthem
down..
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Inodded
Me:
Leahi
swai
ti
ng
Hi
m:babe..
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry,
i
tsl
i
ppedmy
mi
nd..
please
Me:
i
tsok,
aft
eral
lI'
m notf
ami
l
y..
Hi
m:dontsayt
hat
,pl
ease,
youar
emyf
ami
l
y
Me:
Bandi
l
e,kopagot
samay
a(canIpl
easego)
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.babepl
ease
Me:
yoursi
steri
satt
heai
rpor
tshe.
.-
Hecutmeshor tbykissingme, heheldme
ti
ghtl
ythatIcan' tevenpullout,aft
erawhi leI
stoppedfighti
nghi m andjustgav ein.He's
handsmov edf r
om myheadt omywai st,he
wasmaki ngmef or
getmyanger ,
that'
shisst yl
e
andIknowi t
..
Iwr appedmyar msar oundhi s
neckasIst oodonmyt oes.Het henpickedme
upsot hatIwr apmyl egsar oundhiswai st.I
pull
edwhenIwasr unningoutofbr eath..
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:
Il
ovey
oubutsomet
imes.
..
-
Hi
m:hey
..
I'
m sor
ry.
.I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Iwi
ggl
edsoheput
smedown
Me:
I'
m sor
ryaboutKhany
a
Hi
m:i
tsnoty
ourf
aul
t.
.Iwi
l
ldeal
wit
hhi
m
Me:
doy
ouguy
sknoweachot
her
?
Hi
m:y
esandIdontl
i
kehi
m
Me:
arey
ouguy
senemi
es?
Hi
m:Kr
is
Me:
not
ell
me!
Him:sortof
..
he'
sjustl
i
ke.
..
abugi
nmyear
..
he'
s
annoying
Me:
ok.
.l
etmego
Hi
m:babe
Me:
Iwantt
oseeLeah
Him:
whyIdogett
hesensel
i
key
ouar
erunni
ng
awayfr
om me?
Me:
I'
m not
..
Ijustwantt
oseemyf
ri
end
Hi
m:Kr
is!
Istoodonmytoesandki
ssedhi
m,f
or
assurance.
Me:I
'
m notmadany
mor
e..Ij
ustwantt
osee
Leah
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcomeov
erl
ater
Me:
shouldn'
tyoube.
.Idontknowspendi
ngt
ime
wi
thyourfamil
y?
Hi
m:y
ouar
eal
somyf
ami
l
y..Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcomel
ater
..
Me:
i
tsal
readyl
ate.
.
Hi
m:gi
vey
ourkey
s..SoIdon'
twakey
ou
Ichuckledthentookmybagfrom t
hegr
ound,
searchedforthekeys.
.t
hengavet
hem t
ohim.
Me:
ther
e..
Heki
ssedmeagai
nbef
orel
ett
ingmego.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oubabe
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e..
It
ookmyl
apt
opt
henwal
kedt
omycar
.He
rubbedhishandsonhi sfaceasIdrov
eaway .
Arri
vingathome,t
hedoorwasl ocked.
Iknocked
buttherewasnor esponsesoItookmyphone
andcalledher
.Itwouldbeabummeri fshe'
s
nothome. .
Shepi
ckedupaf
terawhi
l
e..
Her
:yeah?
Me:
hey
,openup.
.ar
eyouhome?
Her
:hey
yyy
eah.
.ummhl
etmeopenup.
Me:
ok
IthenHungupandwai ted.Aft
erawhileIhear
d
somemov ementsont hedoorthenthedoor
opened.ThemomentIgoti nsheattackedme
withahug,at
ighthug.Ihuggedherback..
Me:
I'
m sor
ryIdi
dn'
tl
ist
en
Her
:noIshoul
dhav
etr
iedhar
dier
Me:
i
tsoknow.
.i
t'
sov
er
Shepul
l
edoutaf
terawhi
l
eandshehadt
ear
s,I
wi
pedt
hem of
f.
.
Me:
hey
..
pleasedon'
tcr
y..
.
Her
:Idontwantany
thi
nghappeni
ngt
oyou.
.
Me:
not
hingwi
l
lhappent
ome.
.I
'
m sor
ry
Her:
youarethebestt
hingt
hathasev
er
happenedtome..
Me:
yout
oo.
.
Her:
Ilov
eyourhai
rst
yle.
.It
smaki
ngy
oul
ook
sexi
er
Me:
l
ols
Wewentandsatont
hecouch.
.
Her:
Ithoughty
ouweregoi
ngt
osl
eepat
Bandi
leshouseagai
n..
Me:no.
.Iwantt
ogot oschool
tomor
rowandI
neededafewthingsher
e
Her
:okt
hat
sal
i
e,ar
eyouguy
sfi
ght
ing?
Me:
no.
.
Her
:youl
yi
ng.
.
Me:
dontwor
ryabouti
t
Her
:i
fyouwantt
otal
k,
I'
m her
e
Me:
Iwi
l
lkeept
hati
nmymi
nd
Her
:Q'
ssnobbi
sht
hingi
sback
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Ist
il
ldon'
tunder
standwhyy
ouhat
eher
Her
:shet
hinksshesal
lthat
..Youshoul
dal
so
hat
eher
Me:
why
?shedi
dnot
hingt
ome.
.
Her:
becauseshedi
dsomet
hingt
omey
ou
shoul
d
Il
aughed
Me:
stopbei
ngcr
azy
..
Her
:shesgoi
ngt
otakey
ourman
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lst
eponher
Leahl
aughed.
.
Her
:shehasacr
ushonBandi
l
e..I
tsannoy
ing
Me:t
ellher,
ther
esagi
rlcal
l
edkr
is.
.shewon'
t
hesi
tat
et okil
l.
.
Leahl
aughed,
thatsheev
enst
art
edcr
ying.
.
Her
:ohGodIcan'
tbr
eat
h..
Me:It
hinkAveisbusyharassi
ngmy
man..
yester
dayther
e'ssomeonewhocal
l
ed
hi
m andIhadaf eel
ingshestheone.
.
Her
:Iwi
l
lsor
ther
Me:uh-
uh..Iwi l
ldoit.
.Ineedtosetboundari
es.
.
Myniggaismi ne,i
fhemi nehemine,
nowhor e
gonnabef launtingassonmyman, applyi
ng
themselv
esl ikemar gar
ine.
.t
hedicki
smi ne,
and
minealone
Wel
aughed.
.
Her
:somet
imest
heAmer
icanaccentwi
l
ldo
Me:
yeah.
.how'
sQ?
Her:
Ihav
eaf
eel
i
nghi
m andThat
ooncehada
t
hing.
.
Me:
That
o?Thabi
'
sfr
iend?
Her:
yeah..
thedaywhenThabi tr
iedto..
well
bef
orey oucameIsawher ,t
hem tobeexact .
.
Thewayt heywerelooki
ngateachot her,al
lshy
andfuck..
Idontt
hinkQev erl
et'
saski r
tpass
hi
m by..
Iwon'tbesurpri
sedifhe'
scheat i
ng
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Her:
may
bewej ustnotmeantt
obe,
Ican'
tkeep
f
orci
ngt
hings
Me:ormay bey ouar
er eadingmuchi nto
thi
ngs,maybey eshefuckedThat obuti
tsover
andshewant shim.
.soShe' sgoingtodo
every
thinginherpowersot hatyouguysbreak
up..
andain'tshedati
ngQ' sf r
iend?
Her
:shei
s..
makingmethinkQwasf
ucki
nghi
s
f
ri
endsgi
rlbehi
ndhisback.
.
Me:
Idontunder
standt
hef
ri
endshi
p..Sam and
Bandi
l
ewereoncef
ri
endsbutSam sl
eptwi
th
Bandi
l
esgi
rl
Her
:Idontev
enwantt
othi
nkabouti
t
Istoodupandwenttol
ockthedoorand
removedthekey
sfrom t
hedoor.
Me:I
'mti
red..
butdontoverr
eact.
.i
fhel
oves
you,
hewon'thurty
ou..
justt
rusthim
Her
:It
rust
edBr
ad.
.
Me:
he'
snotBr
ad.
.he'
sQ
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Me:okgoodnight
,andoh,
Bandi
lei
sgoingto
comelater
..
dontgetscar
edify
ouhearthedoor
bei
ngunlocked
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:ni
ggai
swhi
pped.
.
Il
aughed
Me:
night
Iwenttomyroom,stri
ppednakedthenwr apped
atowelar
oundmybodyandwentt obath.Af t
er
bathi
ngIworemysilkyshor
tnightandslept.I
waswokenbyacol dhandinmyass. .
Iturned
anditwasBandi
l
e..
Hi
m:hey
Me:
youar
ecol
d
Hi
m:Iknow,
that
swhyI
'
mtr
yingt
owar
m my
sel
f
Me:
doIl
ookl
i
keaheat
er?
Hi
m:y
es.
.
Hesai
dpul
l
ingmesoIl
i
eont
opofhi
m..
Me:
ain'
tyougonnagett
ir
ed,
kanaI
'
m heav
y
Het
ri
edt
ost
if
leal
aughbuthewasf
ail
i
ng.
.
Hi
m:y
ou?
heav
y?
Me:
yeah.
.what
'sf
unny
?
Hi
m:wel
lj
ustt
hat
..
younotev
enheav
ybaby
..
Her
aisedmebymywai
stt
hatIgi
ggl
ed.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovet
hewayy
ougi
ggl
eorl
augh.
.
Me:
aii
il
et'
ssl
eep
Hi
m:no.
.ser
ious.
.Ev
ent
hewayy
ousmi
l
e
Me:
butt
heysayI
'
mint
imi
dat
ing
Hechuckl
ed
Hi
m:who?
99%oft
het
imey
ouar
esmi
l
ing.
..
Me:
youmakemesmi
l
e
Hi
m:becauseIl
oveseei
ngy
oursmi
l
e..
Me:
Il
ovemynameony
ourbody
..
Isai
drunningmyhandonhi
schest
,buthehad
aT-shi
rton..
Hi
m:met
oo
Me:
whyar
eyouwear
ingy
ourshi
rt
Hi
m:y
ouwanti
tof
f?
Me:
what
?no.
.
Hi
m:l
i
e
Me:
ok.
.Iwanti
tof
f.
.
Hetooki
tof
f.
.t
henIl
aymyheadonhi
sbar
e
chest
Hi
m:Ihat
eitwhenwef
ight
Me:
met
oobuti
tsy
ou
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
rybut
ter
fl
y
Me:
i
tsok.
.
Hecar
essedmyass.
.
Hi
m:Isowannawi
fey
ourass
Me:
I'
m st
il
lyoung.
.
Hi
m:Iknow
Me:
andIhav
eschool
Hi
m:itsnotl
i
key
ouwi
l
lst
opschool
i
ngi
fweget
marr
ied
Me:
Iknowj
ust
..
Iwi
l
lhav
eresponsi
bil
i
ties.
.
Hi
m:youmanagi
ngwell
rightnow.
.Ij
ustwantto
wakeupev
erymorni
ngwi t
hyouonmysi de,
I
l
ovet
hef
eel
i
ng
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Him:Iwasjustsay
ing.
.Iwouldlov
eit,
ifyou
weremywi fe.
.ButIunder
standyourconcerns
andIwill
wai t
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:Iwantt
osl
eepwhi
l
ebur
ieddeepi
nyou
Me:
what
?
Hetookof
fmypant
ies,
thenmademest
raddl
e
hi
m..
Hi
m:bur
ymei
nsi
dey
ou
Me:
w-what
?
Hi
m:bur
ymei
nsi
dey
ou
Itookadeepbr eath,
andwi t
hshakinghands..
I
putmyhandi nsidehissweat pant
s,underhi
s
boxerbri
efandhel dhim.
.hewasal readyhar
d,I
tookhishar
dcor k,
whilehishandssqueezedmy
ass,ev
enthoughIwasabi tthrownhav i
nghi
m
i
nmyhandboost edmyconf i
dence.Irubbed
hi
m sof
tl
ytheslowlysatonhi m,t
akingevery
i
nchofhimin,
Imour ned.Justhavi
nghi minme
mademeur geforarelease.
Hi
m:hol
yfuck,
youar
esowar
m!
Me:
mhhm
Hi
m:nowl
et'
ssl
eep
TherewasnowayIwasgoi ngt osleepwit
hhim
i
nsideme, Iwantedt
omov e..Istart
edto
mov e,up,
downandincircl
es..Thewaywedi d
l
astt i
me,Icl
osedmyey esasIt ookinthesweet
del
iciousfeel
ingIwasgetti
ng..i
tfel
tso
good..sodamngood..
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
.
sor
ryi
tcameabi
tlat
e..Lot
sofl
ovef
rom
moi
[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t48
KRI
S
.
.

Per
fectlyIpackedupmycl ot
hesina
sui
tcase,packi
ngthem i
nawayt hatIwon'
t
messt hem upincaseIneedsomet hi
ng.
"
Kri
s!"
Leahscr
eamedf
rom herr
oom.
Me:
j
ustami
nut
e..
IsaidasIzi
ppedmysuitcase.Thenaft
erthatI
walkedtoherroom,
herbagwashal fcl
osedand
shewasseatingontopofit.
.
Me:
yeah?
Her
:hel
pmecl
oseup
Me:
Itol
dyout
ouset
wobags
Her
:Idontwantt
ocomebackwi
thal
otofbags.
.
Me:
ok
Iwalkedov
ertoher,
shepr
essedt
het
oppar
tas
Icl
osedthesui
tcase.
Me:
done!
Shet
hrewher
sel
font
hef
loorsi
ghi
ng.
.
Her
:t
hankGod.
.
Me:
didy
out
alkt
oyourmom?
Her:
yeah.
.Iwi
llgother
eimmedi
atel
yaf
terwe
comebackf r
om thi
sroadt
ri
p.
Me:y
eah..
I'
m gl
adwedonewi
tht
hel
ast
semest
erthisy
ear
I
twas3mont hsdowntheline,
andwehad
fi
nishedwriti
ngourexamsaweekbef ore.The
roadtripwasdiscussedafewweeksaf t
er
Thabi wasrel
easedfrom hospi
talbecauseshe
hadbeenonsui cidalwatch,wefinal
iseditthen
andwedi scussedthatwewer egoingtobe
Capetown, Ihavebeent herebutonlythisti
meI
willbegoingbycarandawakebecausel ast
ti
mei fIrememberwel lIwascr yi
ng.Itwas
around1700hr sandwewer egoingtosleepi n
Bloemf ontei
n,Karaboseemedt ohav e
everythi
ngi norder.
.Wewer egoingtobe
sl
eepingi nhotelsift
ired.Isti
ll
remember
BandilesresponsewhenIt oldhim aboutthis
outi
ng.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
"
Ihadpl
ansf
ory
ou,
forus"
Hesaidashest oodupf r
om thechai
rhewas
si
tti
ngon,inhi
sstudyroom.Icouldn'
treal
l
ytel
l
i
fhewasangr yordi
sappoint
edorwhat
becausethisdayshedoeswel l
inmuskinghi
s
emotions.Hestoodbeforeme.
"
It
sonlyf
ort
woweeksthenI
'm back.
.I
'
m sur
e
wecanal
waysgowhenIcomeback"
Isai
dt r
yingt
oneut r
ali
zethesi
tuat
ionbecauseI
fel
treal
lygui
lty
,may beIshoul
dhavediscussed
thi
swi t
hhim befor
emaki ngafi
naldeci
sion.
"
Youhav
etogof
ory
ourhol
i
dayr
emember
?"
"
Icanalwaysski
pthi
sholi
day
,wecango
wher
everyouwantustogo"
Isai
dasIwr appedmyar msaroundhis
body,
andIr eall
yfeltsmal
lbecauseIonl
ygetup
tochestorabi tbelowmakingmewonderif
doesheev ersufferwithme.
"No..Yourmom want
stoseey
ou,
your
sist
er,y
ourfami
l
y"
"
Arey
oumad?
"
"No.
.j
ustt
haty
oushoul
dhav
etol
dmef
ir
st
hand"
"
CanIr
ect
if
ythi
s?"
Befor
ehecouldanswerhi
sphoner
angf
rom hi
s
pocket
,het
ookitout
..
"
It
simpor
tant
"
Hesaidmovi
ngawayfrom meandsoIf
igur
ed
hedoesn'
twanti
nher
e.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Leah:
met
oo.
.t
hisSemest
erwasshi
t
Me:
whatdi
dQsay
?
IhadaskedLeaht oaskQi nhowBandi lefeels
aboutal lt
hisyesterdaybecausehehadn' tsaid
anything,Iwaswi thhimy esterdaymor ningand
whenIment ionedther oadtripagainto
him,remindinghim hesi mplymut ter
edan" ok"
andt hatwasi t.
..
God!Iwantedt oknowhowhe
feel
s..notthatThabi wasgoi ngtoallowmet o
cancel,herandLesedi hadmadei tclearenough
whenImett hem forluncht henextdayaf t
erI
tol
dBandi le.
*
***
***
***
***
***
*
Thabi
:
younotgoi
ngt
odi
ssusal
lbecause.
.-
Lesedi
:
thatasswhor
eisn'
thappy
!
Me:
Ij
ust
..
-
Thank:nothi
ng.
.Youar enotgoi
ngcompromise
thi
sfunr oadtr
iptopleasesomeone,
andthats
that
!f
inishandklaar
!
Il
aughed.
.
Lesedi
:
giv
ehi
m goodpussyandhewi
l
lbef
ine!
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Leah:well
bandil
eisannoyedbecausehe
alr
eadyhadplanswhichar
enowr ui
nedbut
there'
snothi
nghecandobecausehe'snot
goingtocontr
olyourl
if
e
Me:
ok
Leah:t
histr
ipgonnabefunandal
lbutIhatethe
factt
hatthewhoreiscomingwi
th.
.Idontwant
togowi t
hherbutIwil
lnotgi
veherthe
sati
sfact
ion.
LeahandThat
ohadaabr eaki
ngpoint
,Leah
conf
ront
edThatoaboutherplans,
well
it
seemedli
keThatowasjustbecominganausea
toLeahbuti twasafterLeahcaughtthem
havingdinnerthi
sothernight,
Leahdidn'
tread
muchi ntoitandIdontknowwhy .I
tdidn'
tend
well
,itendedwithThatosayingsomeshi t
ty
wordst oLeah,andi
twast ooawkwar dbecause
theydiditinfr
ontofme.
*
***
***
***
***
***
*
Leah:
howaboutyoutossyourl
osepussyoutof
myman'sl
ife,
i
t'
sclearhedoesn'
twantyou
Thato:
hedoesn'twantme?areyousur
e?Sur el
y
i
fhecant hi
nkandwantmyl osepussy,
bangi t
ri
ghtunderyournosedontyouthi
nkyourtight
pussyisl
acking,doyouneedsomelessonsor
twoonhowt or i
deaman,youseem cl
uelessno
wonderhealway scomestome..
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
IdontknowwhyLeahdoesn'
twanttoseeit
becauseit
scl
earenoughQischeat
ingbutst
il
l.
Me:
i
sshest
il
lfucki
ngQ?
Leah:
shewasneverfucki
nghi
m..Hel
oves
me,andhe'
snotcheati
ngonme!
Me:Idon'
tknowwhyy ouar
etur
ningonabl
i
nd
ey
e..whendidyoubecomeli
ket
his?
Her
:sol
ow?
Me:
soweak?
Her:
Ilovehi
m andhetol
dmehe' snotcheat
ing.
.
I
'm goingt
obeli
evehi
m becauseIlov
ehim..
.if
heis.
.
Me:
hav
eyouconf
ront
edhi
myet
?
Her:
hesay
sI'
m st
art
ingt
oactl
i
keani
nsecur
e
bi
tch.
.
Igapedather
,he'
sreall
ygett
ingoutofhand,
I
hadoffer
edtotal
kt ohi
m butLeahref
used
becauseshedoesn'twantt
oseem li
kethatki
nd
ofgir
lwhocan'tf
ightherownbattl
es.
Thent
her
ewasaknock.
.
Leah:
gogeti
twhi
l
eIf
ini
shdr
essi
ng.
.
Me:ok,
bequick.
.Thegi
rl
swi
l
lbeher
eanyi
nan
hourorso.
Leah:
yeahwhat
ever
..
Iwalkedtothesit
ti
ngroom headi
ngt
othedoor
whent hedoorswungopenandBandil
elet
hi
msel fi
n,
Istoppedonmytracksashegot
i
nside.
Hi
m:hey
..
Hesai
dcl
osingt
hespacebet
weenusunt
ilhe
st
oodbef
oreme..
Me:
hi,
Idi
dn'
tthi
nky
ouwer
egoi
ngt
ocome.
.
Him:whywon'
tI?
Ineedt
ogivey
ouaproper
goodbyebef
oreyoul
eav
e..
whenar
ethey
coming?
Me:
1700hr
s
Hi
m:west
il
lhav
eanhourand30mi
nut
es.
.
Hesai
dpushi
ngmet omyroom.Thewaywe
hav
ebeenhavi
ngsexmakesmef earf
or
pregnancyandt
hatalsor
emindsme,
mynext
appoint
mentisnextweekMonday
..
Heki
ssedmyneckwhenhel
ockedt
hedoor
.
Hi
m:cal
lmewheny
ougett
oBl
oemf
ont
ein.
.
Inodded,
l
osti
nwhathewasdoi
ngt
ome.
Aft
ersomehotf
uckIl
aybesi
deshi
m onmy
bedti
red.
.
Me:
Ndi
l
e..
Hi
m:y
es?
Me:i
sitahabi
tforyouguy
stof
uckwi
thy
our
hommiesgir
lf
ri
ends?
Inev
erreal
l
yaskedhim,becausei
tsawkwar
d
butt
odayIcoul
dn'
treal
l
yhol dmysel
f.
Hi
m:whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Iknewheknows,
obvi
ousl
yQt
oldhi
m because
theyseem t
obecl
ose.
.
Il
ookedathi
m andhehadar
aisedey
ebr
ow.
Me:i
tsfunnyhowyouwillnev
erreal
iseanda
goodthingwhil
eyousti
l
lhaveitbecauset
he
momenty oulosei
t.
.-
Him:
stoptal
ki
nglikeI
'
mt heonecheati
ng!I
knowtheval
ueofgoodthingsandthat
swhyI
avoi
dlosi
ngthem
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
.
Him:canwenott alkaboutthi
s..
it
s
annoying.
.l
et'
stalkaboutyourbir
thdaypr
esent
..
It
sstil
linmygar age
Me:
Ij
ustf
eel
li
kei
tst
oomuch.
.i
tist
oomuch.
.
Hi
m:youaremygirl
,
Ihaveever
yri
ghtt
ogi
vei
t
t
oyou..
Iboughti
toutofl
ove
Hehadboughtmeani 8,andasmuchasIlove
thatcarbuti
twasj usttoomuch,t
oomuchf or
met oacceptsofrom mybi rt
hdayi
thasbeenin
hisgarageeversi
ncet henandIhavenev
er
evendroveit
..
Me:
Idon'
twantt
ofi
ght
Ever
yti
met hi
stopi
ccomesupi
tendsupwi
th
usfi
ght
ing.
.
Hi
m:nei
therdoI
..
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
omi
ssy
ou
Hi
m:met
oo.
.
Hehel
dmet
ight
ly.
.
Me:can'
twegowherey
ouwant
edust
ogo
whenIcomeback?
Hi
m:wet
alkedaboutt
his
Me:
IknowIj
ust
..
-
Hi
m:no.
.y
ouar
egoi
nghomet
oseey
ourf
ami
l
y
Kr
is!
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:y
ouneedt
oseey
ourf
ami
l
y..
.
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ltakey
oui
fyourmot
heragr
ees
Me:
youknowshedoesn'
treal
l
yli
key
ou
Him:yeah..
Iwi
l
ljusthav
etopl
aymygame
perf
ectly
Me:
ok
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
.
Him:
good,Iwi
l
lsendyousomemoneyi
ncase
youneedsomethi
ng
Me:
Ndi
l
eI.
.-
Him:hey!I
'
m sendi
ngi
t.
.yourancest
orsl
i
kesitor
not.
.I
'm goingt
obesendingyoumoneyever
y
month
Me:
Idon'
twanty
ourmoney
..
Imumbl
ed.
.
Hi
m:what
?Idi
dn'
tgett
hat
Ikeptqui
te,
forPeace'
ssake.
.
Hi
m:asIwassaying.
.I'
m goi
ngt
osendy
ou
money.
.Incasey
ouneedsomething
Ikeptqui
te.
.
Hi
m:andbeagoodgi
rl
Me:
yeah.
.y
out
oo
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:ok..
andstayawayf
rom t
roubl
e
Kr
is.
.pl
ease,
i
fyouneedanyt
hingcal
lme
Me:
Iwi
l
lbef
ine.
.how'
sFat
herChar
les?
Bandi l
ehadFat herChar l
esmov ed,t
oabet ter
house, averybeaut ifulhouset ogetherwi t
h
NolwazuandNt handobuti twasaf teral ot
convincingbecausehedi dn'twantt ol eav ehis
wife.Theyar est ayingin4bedr oom mansi on
thatIspecifical
lychosef orthem andf i
rsttime
theycame. .i
twasj ustov erwhel mi ng, heev en
cri
edbecausehet houghthe' sownki dswi llbe
thefirstonest odot hisforhi m,it'
sev ery
parent '
swish.Theyset tledi n2mont hsagoand
Imustsayt heyhav eadapt edwel lbutf orthe
l
astf ewweeksIhav en'tbeenhav ingt het i
met o
gocheckupont hem mai nlybecauseoft he
examsIwasf acingsoi nsteadBandi l
ehasbeen
goingtoseethem.Theydontstayal
one
though,
theystaywit
hSusan,
aladywhoBandi
l
e
hir
edast hei
rhelper
.
Hi
m:he'
sok.
.
Me:
ok.
.
MyphoneSt
art
edv
ibr
ati
ngandi
twasLeah.
.
Me:
Ithi
nkt
hegi
rl
sar
eher
e..
Isaidstruggli
ngoutofhisti
ghtembrace..He
setmef r
eeandIt ookatowel,
wrappedit
aroundmeandwentt othebat
hroom fora
quickshower .Isodontwanttobesmel l
ingsex.
.
AfterthatshowerIwentbacktot heroom and
Bandi l
ewasal readydr
essedup,Iworemy
cl
ot hesquickl
y..
Hi
m:dontf
all
Me:
IhopeIdont
..
Icombedmyhai r,t
henti
editi
ntoaneathair
bun..Bandi
l
ehelpedmewi t
hmybagt othe
garageandindeedtheywer
ethere.Thi
ngs
l
ookedabi
ttensebetweenThat
oandLeah.We
wal
kedupt
ot hem..
That
o:Kr
is
Shesai
dasshehuggedme,
Ihuggedherback.
.
Me:
hey
Thabi
:
wet
houghty
ouwer
enol
ongercomi
ng.
.
Me:
mxm.
.nev
er.
.
Bandil
eputmybaginthebootthenhuggedme
onelastt
imewhi
speri
ngi nmyearsweetthings
thatmademytummyt otangleandmegiggle.
Hekissedmeonelastti
meandwal kedbut
gaveThatot
hatl
ook..
thatlookt
hatspel
l
sf uck
off!
Lesedi
:
final
l
ylet
'sgo.
.
Wewer egoinginaquant
um, andaccordi
ngto
whatIhearditKar
abo'
sfather
's.Weall
gotin
thecarandLeahsatbesi
desme, shewasso
quit
e..
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Iwhi
speredt
oherast
heLesedist
arteddri
vi
ng
away
,shewaswit
hKaraboatt
hefrontseat
.
Leah:
That
oandQsl
eptt
oget
her
..
Me:
whot
oldy
out
hat
?
Leah:
sheshowedmet
hev
ideo.
.
Me:
sext
ape?
Leah:
yeah.
.what
'swr
ongwithmeKr i
s?whatam
Il
acki
ng?Isther
esomethi
ngothergi
rlshav
e
andIdont?
Me:dontsayt hat..
youar eper f
ectandi fQ
doesn'tseeitthenhe' snottheonef ory ou.
.You
arebeaut i
ful
,soout spoken..Don'tl
etany one
makey out hi
nkl essofy ourself
,dontletanyone
breaky ourselfesteem..Ther easonwhyshe
showedy outhatsext apeisbecauseshe
knowsshecan' tcompet ewit
hy oufacet o
face.
.shesoutofy ourleague..Don'
tlet
someonedepr iveyouf rom yourhappiness,i
f
shef eel
shappywi thotherpeople'
smisf
ortunes
thendefinatl
ysomet hi
ngiswr ongwit
hher,
no
realwomandoest hat,
paradi
ngherwhoring
tendenciesaround..
shedoesn'tevenhaveself
respect.
.See..
youar ebett
erthanherina
mill
ionway s,
andQ. .
he'
snotwor thyourt
ears..
Shesmi
l
edwi
pinghert
ear
s..
Leah:
youar
ethebest
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Leah:
I'
m goi
ngtol
ivemyl i
fet
ot hef
ull
est
,not
bythewaypeopl
ehur tmeorbreakme..
Iwon't
l
etthatmakeme..
afteral
l
..
I'
m Leah
Thabi
tur
nedandl
ookedatus.
.
Thank:
that
sri
ghtLeah.
.
Welaughedt
henlookedov
eratThat
owho
l
ookedannoy
edrather.
.
Leah:
Ithi
nkweneedasong.
.
Kar
abo:
hiti
t!
Leah: Rai
seupacupupf
oral
lmydayones
Twomi
ddl
efi
nger
sfort
hehat
ers
MeandLeah: Li
fe'
sonl
yget
ti
nggr
eat
er
St
rai
ghtupf
rom not
hingwegoup
Usal
l
:Hi
ghert
hant
hehi
ghestsky
scr
aper
Nol
i
ttl
eleague,
wemaj
or
Thepr
oofi
sint
hepaper
Weputt
hegoodi
nthegoodi
nthegoodl
i
fe
Weputt
hegoodi
nthegoodi
nthegoodl
i
fe
Weputt
hebadi
nthepast
,nowweal
ri
ght
Hey
,hey
,hey
,hey
Hey
,hey
,hey
,hey
Driv
ingtoBloemfont
einwasabi tt
iri
ng,because
wespentalmost4hr sintheroadbutatt he
samei twasmuchf unexplori
ngS. Alike
that,
thej
ourneywastooexciti
ngf orme. .
we
evenstoppedatsomepl acesjustforpictur
es.
Themoodwasmuchbet
teri
nthecar
..
Arri
vi
nginBl oemfontei
nwewentt osomehot el
,
a5starhotel.I
twasar ound2200hrsbyt hen.I
t
seemedlikeev er
ythi
ngwasj ustset,
theyhad
al
readybookedr oomsf orus,
eachonehadher
own.ThemomentIl ayont hebedafterItooka
l
ongdeser vedbathIcalledBandil
e.
Hi
m:babe
Me:
hey
Hi
m:ar
ri
ved?
Me:
yeahandI
'
mti
red.
.
Hi
m:howlongarey
ouguy
sst
ayi
ngi
n
Bl
oemfont
ein?
Me:
2day
s..
Imi
ssy
ou
Hi
m:met
oo,
youwannacomeback?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
hav
eyoueat
eny
et?
Hi
m:Icanal
way
sconeandgety
ou?
Me:
Bandi
l
ehav
eyoueat
en?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
good.
.
Him:
youknowifyouwer
eher
e,wecoul
dbe
doi
ngalotofshi
t!
Me:
stopi
t
Hi
m:j
ustsay
ing.
.shi
t!
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Him:yourmotherisgoi ngtobur
nmefort
his
butbabeyoustillhavet ocomewit
hmetothe
famil
ygettogetherthing..
Me:
youhav
est
art
ed
Hi
m:I
'
m bei
ngser
ious.
.Ineedy
out
ocomewi
th
me
Me:
whati
ftheydon'
tl
ikeme?
Hi
m:Idon'
tl
iket
hem t
oobutmom.
.
Me:
whydonty
oul
i
ket
hem?
Him:theywerenevertherewhenmom needed
them..t
heyarefamil
ywheni t'
sr osesandi ce
cream butt
urnthei
rbackswhent hingsget
sour..
whatki
ndofaf ami l
yisthat?Nobodyev er
helpedmymot herwhendaddi ed,buttoday
theywanttoswimt heirwaybacki ntoour
family.
.
Icoul
dfeel
hewasupset
,hewasmadandwhen
hegetsmadhedr
inksal
cohol
.
.
Me:
arey
ouhome?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.wher
eel
secanIbe?
Me:pl
easedontdri
nkal
coholt
oomuchanddo
somethi
ngcrazy.
.Ordr
iveout
..
Him:I
'm alr
eadydrinkingwhilewatching
soccer
..
I'm notgoingt ogetdrunkbecauseI
havenof amily
..Allofthem arefucken
pret
enders..
it
slikeIhav enoone..l
.-
Me:
youhav
eme.
.I
'
myourf
ami
l
yri
ght
?
Hekeptqui
tef
orasecondt
her
e..
Hi
m:y
esbabe.
.y
ouar
emyf
ami
l
y..Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Hi
m:howl ongdoIhavetowaitforustoget
marr
ied,
youknowI '
m notget
tingyoung.
.
Me:
you25,
youst
il
lyoung.
.Wai
tunt
ily
ouar
e28
Hi
m:f
uckt
hatl
ong?
Me:
j
ust3y
ear
s..Not
hingmuchmor
e
Hi
m:youalsoneedt
ocompromise.
.Youcan'
t
r
eal
lyexpectmetoj
ust
..
3years?
Me:Iwi
ll
bedonewit
hmydegr
eeandwi
l
lbeol
d
enoughformar
ri
age
Him:whatyouj
ustsai
dmademesupersuper
sobberbabe
Me:
Il
ovey
out
hough
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.but3y
ear
s?y
oumustbe
cr
azy.
.
Me:
okf
inet
wot
hen
Hi
m:bet
ter
..
Me:
Iwi
l
lgowi
thy
ou
Hi
m:go.
.-
oht
hankGodbabe.
.
Me:
fory
ou.
.
Hewentsil
entf
orawhi
l
ethenIhear
dhi
m
swear
ing.
.
Me:
and?
Hi
m:myt
eam i
slosi
ng
Il
aughed.
.
Me:y
outhi
nky
oucandoabet
terj
obt
hant
hose
pl
ayi
ng?
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:t
heyar
emaki
ngsi
l
lymi
stakes.
.
Me:It
hinky
oushoul
dgetinsi
det
hegameand
showthem howi
t'
sdone.
.
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m goi
ngt
ofuckt
hatsmal
lmout
hof
y
our
s..
youneedt
otast
edi
ck
wi
thy
ourt
ounge
Iswall
owedhar d,
Inev
erreal
lythoughtabout
i
t..
blowjobandwhatIkeptthinki
ngaboutwas
thatwil
lhefi
tinmouth?
Hi
m:nowy
ouqui
te.
.
Me:
ummhwheni
sEnhl
ecomi
ng?
Hi
m:wheny
ousuckmydi
ckdr
y
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Iam f
eel
i
ngdr
owsynow.
.
Hi
m:She'
scomi
ngnextweek.
.
Enhlewenttoschool atAust
rali
abecauset he
student
satthev ar
sit
yshewasschool i
ngat
werecall
ingherblood,t
heywant edjusti
cefor
Amber .
.t
hegirlt
heotherpersonnel at
tacked.I
t
wasr i
skyforhertogobackt herebecausey ou
neverknowwhatt hestudentswi l
ldo..Bandi
le
thoughti
twasbestshecont inueswi t
hher
degr
eeout
sidecount
rywher
ehersaf
etyi
s
guar
ant
eed.
Me:
that
sgr
eat
..
I'
mreal
l
ydr
owsyr
ightnow
Ndi
l
e..
Hi
m:l
etmecal
lyou.
.
Hecal
l
edmei
mmedi
atel
yaf
terhangi
ngup.
.
Hi
m:Iwantt
oher
eyousl
eep.
.
Me:
whati
fIsnor
e?
Him:Ihat
esl
eepi
ngwi t
houtyouandIt hi
nkt
his
wil
lgivemecl
osure.
.pl
usIloveli
steni
ngtohow
youbreat
hwhenyouar esl
eepingorwatchi
ng
you
Me:
ok.
.
Iswi
tchedof
fthel
ampbesi
dest
hebedt
hen
putmyphonebesi
desme.
.
Me:
I'
m sl
eepi
ngnow.
.
Hi
m:oksweetdr
eamsbut
ter
fl
y.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oobabe.
.
Iprobabl
yfell
asleep,Iwokeupwhent hebr
ight
l
ighthadfil
l
edt hehotelroom.Ir
eachedformy
phonebesidesme, t
hecal l
wassti
ll
on..
Me:
babe?
Ndi
l
e?.
.babey
out
her
e?
Ther
ewassi l
encebuti
twasalr
eadyaround
ei
ght.Heshouldbeawaket
histi
me..
Me:
babe?
..
.Andi
l
eyout
her
e?
Ihear
dshuf
fl
est
henf
inal
l
yhi
ssl
eepyv
oice.
.
Hi
m:ohw.
.hey
Me:
sti
l
lsl
eepi
ng?
Hi
m:Isl
eptl
ate.
.
Me:
l
ist
eni
ngt
ome?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
ok.
.Letmegobat
h
Hi
m:l
etmesl
eep.
.andpl
easedontr
eveal
too
muchski
n
Me:
ok
Hi
m:i
lov
eyou
Me:
met
oo
Hi
m:t
hef
uck?
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
It
henhungup.
.
Thecal
ltookal
otofhour
s..
Igotupandwenttot
hebat
hroom,
whi
chwas
real
l
ybeauti
ful
..
Itookashowerthenwentbacki
nsidethe
room,wor
emybl ackshor
tsandablackT-shi
rt
withsomefl
ipfl
opsthenwenttoLeah'
sroom..
Iknockedacoupl
eoftimesbeforesheopened
thedoor,
shewaswrappedinat owelwet
i
ndicati
ngshewasfrom bat
hing..
Leah:
hey
..
geti
n
Wegoti
nsi
deherr
oom.
Me:
Mor
ning
Her
:hey
..
Howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
Isl
eptoky
ou?
Her
:good.
.
Me:
arey
ouok?
Her
:yeah.
.
Shewasbusygoingthroughhersuit
caset
hen
fi
nal
lyshet
ookbluebikini
sthentookouta
whit
eT-shi
rt
,ov
ersi
zed..
Me:
real
l
y?
Her
:yeah
Me:
Leah.
.
Her:
whatdoyouwantmetosayKr
is.
.IknewQ
andIweren'
tgoi
ngt
olastany
way.
.Fuckboy
ever
ydayshi
t
Me:
didy
out
alkt
ohi
m?
Her
:no.
.andsaywhatexact
ly?Heknowsi
ts
ov
er.
.I
'
m gl
adbecausenowIwonthav
etodeal
wi
thhi
ssnobbi
shsist
er.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Her
:wewi
l
ldeal
wit
hitt
oget
her
Me:
yeah.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Isatatt
heedgeoft
hepool wi
thThabi
asLeah
andLesedi
wereswi
mmi ng.That
oandKarabo
hadwentshoppi
ngf
ort
unately
.
Thabi
:
whyar
eyounotswi
mmi
ng?
Me:
Idontfeel
li
kei
tpl
usI
'
m notar
eal
l
ygood
swi
mmer .
.
Thabi
:
letmet
eachy
ouhowt
o
Shesai
dst
andi
ngup.
.
Me:
Thabi
pleaseI
..
-
Iwasdist
urbedbymyphoneri
ngi
ng,i
twas
Bandi
le.
.Iwasaboutt
oanswerwhenThabi
snat
chedthephonefr
om me.
.
Her:
can'thejustst
opbotheri
ngyou.
.i
tst
imefor
youtorelaxandthi
sniggaisbusydi
stur
bing.
.
Me:
Ithi
nkhe'
s.
.-
Thabi
answer
edt
hephone.
.
Her:
Hell
othisisThabi
..
andthenyouare
di
stur
bingourgir
l t
ime.
.doi
tthen.
.ei
theram
I
..
lookfori
tthen.
.bye.
.
Theshehungupandswi
tchedmyphoneof
f.
Her
:nowswi
mmi
ng.
.
Me:
whatdi
dhewant
?
Her
:hi
sshoes.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Her
:howcansomeonemi
spl
aceshoes?
Me:
hej
ustput
shi
sthi
ngswher
evert
hati
s..
Her
:Xanderwasaneatfreak.
.butlet
'st
alkabout
swi
mmi ng.
.Iwil
lteachy
ousoy oucanbegood..
It
ookof
fmyshi
rtt
hengoti
nthepool
wit
h
Thabi.Itwassomuchf un,
mymi ndwasj ust
fr
ee.Ar oundlunchweat eatther estaurant.The
wholedaywasj ustfun,Iev
enwi shedi tnev er
endspl usLeahwasmuchbet terbutIt hinkits
becauseThat owasn' tther
esoshef elt
comfor tabl
e.Around1700hr sThat oandKar abo
canebackhol dingal otofshoppingbags, t
hey
hadev enchangedcl othesandhai r
styles.
Wewer einKar aboshotelroom asThey
changedtheirclot
hes..Wellmostl
ywewer e
herebecausethegi r
lshadsaidtheybought
eachandev eryoneagi f
t.
Karabot
ookoutahandbag,
l
abel
handbagand
handedi
ttoThabi
.
.
Kar
abo:t
hishandbagsuit
syourcharact
er.
.Not
soqui
teandnotsosetback.
.Justcool.
.
Thabi
:
ohwt
hanky
ou
Karabothent
ookoutsomeheel
sandgav
e
them t
oLesedi
..
Karabo:
fort
heQueeny
ouar
e,y
oudeser
vet
o
rockint
hisheel
s..
Lesedi
:
youar
eri
ghtaboutt
hat
..
ThenKar
abooutacamera,
aver
ybeaut
if
ul
canondi
git
alcamer
a..
Karabo:andforyouKr i
s..
Idontev enknowwhat
tosay .
.f
orbeingbeautif
ul i
nandout .
.f
orhavi
ng
apur eheartl
ikeyours.
.forbeingthepersony
ou
are.
.abigheartyoudeser vethiscamerasoyou
captureeverybeautyyouhol d..
Me:
ohhht
hanky
ousomuch.
.
That
o:y
es,
youdeser
vei
tandf
orLeah.
.
That
ogav
eLeahashoppi
ngbag
Leahtookitandopenedit
,i
twasavery
beaut
iful
Laceyreddress,
i
twasreal
lybeaut
if
ul
thenr
edlingeri
e..
Thatohadasmi l
eonherfacebutI'
m notr
eal
ly
sureitwasgenui
nebecauseI'
m sur
eagedid
thi
stoannoyLeah.
That
o:menl
ovei
t.Weari
tfory
ourboy
fri
end.
.
Maybehe.
.-
Kar
abo:
That
o!
That
o:what
?Iboughti
twi
thal
lmyhear
t.
.
Leahdr
oppedt
heshoppi
ngdownt
henwal
ked
out.
.
Thabi
:
whatt
hef
uckThat
o?
Thabi
wasmad.
.
Lesedi
:
can'
tyouleaveyourat
ti
tudeatyour
mother'
shousebecauseit
snotwelcomehere.
.
Karabo:
thatwasar
eal
l
ybi
tchmov
eT.
.ButKr
is
take.
.
Shesai
dhandi
ngmeamakeupbag.
.
Kar
abo:
i
tsf
orLeah.
.
Ijustnoddedbeforewalki
ngaway ,
i
twasj ust
toomuch.Iwal kedaroundlooki
ngforLeahbut
Icouldn'
tfindher.
.IwenttothepoolandthereI
foundher,chat
ti
ngwi t
hsomeguy ..
Iprobabl
y
expect
edtofindhercr
yingbutshewasdoi
ng
theopposi
te.
.Shewasact ual
l
ylaughi
ngwi
th
thi
sguy..
Iwalkedupt
othem andt
hat
swhent
hey
not
icedme..
Leah:
andohhthisismyfri
end.
.Kri
s..
myonly
fr
iendandKr
isthisisDeWayneBar
abbas.
.
Hest
uckouthi
shandt
omeandIshooki
t.
Hi
m:ni
cet
omeety
ouKr
is
Me:
yeah.
.ummhLeahKar
aboboughty
ou
makeup.
.
Her
:Idontwanti
t.
.
Me:
ummhwil
lyoubeok,
i
fIgoputt
hisi
nmy
r
oom..
2mi
nutes.
.
Her
:yeah.
.t
akemeapi
cfi
rst
..
Shesmil
edandcaptur
edhersmi
l
e..Idontknow
i
fitwasgenui
neornot.
Me:
pleasedontmov
e..
I'
m comi
ng.
.
Isaidwalkingaway ,
Ididn'tt
rustthi
sDeWayne
guy..
helookedawkwar despecial
lywit
hthe
burnscarhehandonhi shand. .
Itur
nedback
whenIwasabi tdist
antf rom t
hem butLeah
wasst i
lll
aughing.
.Ididn'twanttoleav
eher
alonewiththisguybecausemay behesthose
typesthatjustwanttof uckyou..
Itookadeepbr eaththenrushedt otheel ev
ator.
.
Wentt omyr oom andpl acedt hecamer aand
makeupki tont hebed, t
ookmyphonet hen
wentbackt othepool .Inlessthan10mi nutesI
wasbackatt hepool butshewasn' tthere.I
start
edpanicking,Ididn'
twantwhatal most
happenedt omet ohappent oher..
shewon' t
survi
veit
,especiall
ynotaf terever
ythi
ngt hat
hashappenedt oday .Iwentov ertosomegi rl
.
.
Me:
ummhhi
Her
:hel
l
o
Me:
didy
ouseethegi
rlt
hatwassi
tt
ingov
er
t
her
ewithsomeguy
Her
:t
heywentt
hatsi
de,
tot
hebarsi
de.
.
Me:
okt
hanky
ou.
.
Ir
anwherethegir
lpoi
ntedandIfoundmysel
f
i
nabar..Myeyesranar
oundignori
ngafew
eyest
hatwereonme..
Ispot
tedher,
Itookadeepbreat
hofreli
efbut
shewasdrinki
ng..Dr
inki
ngl
i
keaf i
sh.
.Iwalked
overt
oher..
Me:
Leah.
.
Shet
urnedandf
acedme.
.
Her
:Kr
is.
.y
ouback.
.
Shetri
edst
andi
ngupbutIhel
dherasshewas
fal
l
ing.
.
DeWay
ne:
shesr
eal
l
ydr
unk.
.l
etmehel
pyou.
.
Me:
no.
.no.
.I
'
mfi
net
hanks
Ididn'
twai
tforhisr
esponseIj
uststaggered
aroundwit
hLeahaswewal kedaway .
.Iwonder
howshegotdr unki
njustl
essthan10mi nutes
nodoubtt hisguyspikedherorI'
mj ustgoing
crazy.Iwalkedwithhertotheelev
at or,
people
werej ustl
ookingatusasIstruggl
edwi t
hmy
fr
iend.Iwentt omyroom thenlayheront he
bedasshesl ept
.Iwasreall
yti
redsoIj ustwent
andlockedt hedoorthenstar
tedundr essi
ngher.
Afterundr
essi
ngherIlayherni
cel
yont hebed
butasIdidthatt
her
ewasaknock. .Iwentto
thedoorandopeneditthi
nki
ngmay bei
t '
sThabi
butitwastheDeWayneguy .
.
Hi
m:shef
orgotherphone.
.
It
ooki
tfr
om hi
m
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:any
time.
.
Thenhewal kedaway ,
Iclosedthedoorthenlay
besi
desLeahi nmycl othes.
.Iwasreal
lytir
ed,al
l
Iwantedwast osleep..
.openingmyeyesagain,I
wasont hebedsleepingbutLeahwasn'tnextt o
me..WithpanickIstoodup..sear
chedaround
theroom butshewasn'tt
here.Myf i
rstguess
wasshesatt hebarbutIgotdist
urbedbymy
phonevibrat
ing,i
twasamessageal ertandit
wasmessagef r
om Leah.
.
"
I'
m att
hepool
"
Infrustrati
onIwal kedout,
wentt otheel avotor
thenwentt othepool ,
get
ti
ngt hereIcoul dn'
t
seeany t
hingbecausei twasdar kbutt henthe
l
ookf htsabruptl
ywenton. .
Ilookedar oundand
Leahwasatsomecor ner,
withherhandst i
ed
togetherandast i
ckytapewasonher
mout h,
preventi
ngherf r
om talki
ng,myhear t
startedbeat i
ngfast..
notagain..
notagai n.I
walkedov erather,f
astandtookof fthest i
cky
tapef rom hermout h..
Her
:he'
sher
e..
Shesaidmakingmeturnandmyeyesnet
DeWay ne.Hehadaguninhi
shandwhil
e
smoking..
Hi
m:wel
l
...
wel
comet
othepar
tyMi
ss
Macv
erdana,
itsapl
easur
etoseey
ou.
.
.
SAM
.
Shehel
pedmewitht
hedishes,
wellshewashed
whil
eIpl
acedt
henwher
et heyshouldbe.
Her
:Ibet
tergo
Me:
Tinawhydoy
oul
i
ker
unni
ngawayf
rom me?
Her
:I
'm not
,I
'
mjustt
ir
ed.
.
Me:y
ouar
enotgoi
ngt
ofi
ndt
ranspor
tthi
shour
Ti
na
Her
:Sam.
.
Ifi
nall
ymov edoutmom'shouse2mont hs
ago,Dadfoundahouseformeinblock10or
makei thegavemeoneofhishouses.It
saj ust
3bedroomedhouse,i
tsr
eall
yniceandwel l
as
fort
hef ur
nit
ure.
.Mom t
ookcareofit.
.
Thehousel
ooksl
i
keahomeonl
yit
smost
ly
dirt
ybecauseInev erfindti
mef orcleaning..
Wel lIhaven'
t..
HAVENOT. .
beenhitti
ngonTi na,
it
j
usthappens. .i
tsli
ket here'
samagnetbet ween
ust hatpull
sust ogetherbutTinaist r
yingt o
resist,
andIt oobutsomet i
mesi tj
ustget stoo
much. .Li
keImeannow. .Shewasatmyhouse, I
pickedherf r
om wor kandj usti
nv i
tedherf or
dinnerwithme
Her
:Sam Ihav
etogo.
.
Me:
l
etmedr
opy
ou.
.
Justt
heni
tst
art
edr
aini
ng.
.
Me:
Idon'
twanttokil
lyouorusbot
hbutdr
ivi
ng
i
ntherai
nisdanger
ous..
Shelookedatmewi t
hhersmal
leyes,
shewas
real
l
ybeauti
ful
..Herl
ipssl
i
ght
lypart
ed.
.
Me:
butl
et'
sgo
Her
:i
ts.
.i
tsok.
.Iwi
l
lsl
eepi
ntheguest
room.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Shel ookedatmeandIj ustfoundmy sel
f
walkingtowardsher..Iclosedthegapbetween
usandki ssedherli
ps,theywer esosoftand
wet..Ipull
edputafterhav i
ngt of
eelthi
sfeel
ing.
.
May beIhav ebeenindeni albutt
rut
hbet ol
d,
I
havef al
lenfort
hisgirl
..
Me:
tel
lmedontf
eel
it.
.
Her
:wear
erel
ated.
.
Ikissedheragainandthisti
mesher esponded,
pulli
ngmyheadcl osertoher.
.Ipulledoutwhen
thingsweregetti
ngoutofhand. .Idontwantto
sleepwithher.
.notyetatl
east.
Me:
l
etmeshowy
ouy
ourr
oom.
.
Her
:ohf
uckt
his.
.
Shethrewherbagdownandki ssed
me,har
d. .
pressi
ngherbodyagainstmine..
I
ki
ssedherback, f
eel
ingherdesir
e.Ipuckedher
upandl edhertomyr oom,Icouldn'
tstop
myself
..
.
KRI
S
.
Il
ookedathi
scol
dey
es.
.Myhear
twasj
ust
beat
ingf
ast.
.
Hi
m:wear
egoi
ngt
opl
ayni
ce.
..
Tieherl
egs.
.
Il
ookedathi
mthenhepoi
ntedt
hegunatme.
..
Hi
m:Kr
ist
ieherl
egs.
.
Hesaidsof
tl
ybutIcoul
dseehewasget
ti
ng
pi
ssed.
.
Leah:
Kri
spl
ease.
.
Itur
nedatherthenkneltinfr
ontofher,
tookthe
ropethatwasbesidesherandti
edherlegs.He
camet owardsusafterIwasdonethengrabbed
Leahtothepoolandt hrewheri
n.Irantowar
ds
thepoolbuthestoppedme.
Hi
m:st
opitr
ightther
eorIwi
l
lshooty
ouand
t
henyoubot
hdi e.
.
Ilookedi
nthepoolandshewasdrowni
ng
becausebothherhandsandl
egsweret
iedso
therewasnowayshewasgoingtobeableto
swim.
Tear
sst
art
edst
reami
ng.
.
Me:
pleaseshesdy
ing.
.whatsoy
ouwantf
rom
me?
Him:nothing.
.Ij
ustwantyoudead..Goin..sav
e
her.
.butremembery ouarenotareallygood
swimmer ..SoIdontknow..
yourchoice..
you
wanttodi ebecauseofdrowningorwhat ?
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
#notedi
ted
[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t49
KRI
S
.
.
Il
ookedathi m,andwi thoutev ent hinkingtwice
di
vedi nthepool ,battl
i
ngt okeepmyey esopenI
swam t owar dsher,herbodywasnott hatmuch
deep,shewast r
yingt ofreeher self.Igothol dof
hertiedhandsandswam out ,
Iwant edt obreath
becauseIwasr unni ngoutofbr eathbuti
couldn'tgiveupy et,
notaf tereverythingLeah
hasdonef orme. .Surfacingcoughi ngbecauseI
hadswal lowedwat er,Ipulledherupsot hatshe
al
sosur f
aces,Iheldhert i
ght l
yasIswam t othe
edgeoft hepool .AsIgotusouthest art
ed
cl
appi nghishands.
Hi
m:Br
avo!
..
.Br
avo!
Il
ayLeahbesi
desme,
shewasn'
tmov
ing.
.
Me:
hey
..
please.
.wakeup.
.
Isai
dsl
appi
nghercheek.
.
Me:
pleasebr
eat
hforme.
.Ican'
tl
osey
ou.
.not
l
i
ket
hisatl
east
..
please.
.
Isl
appedheragai
nthendi
damout
htomout
h..
Him: itsallyourboy fr
iend..Ifi
twasn' tf
or
him. .youwoul dn'tbeher e..
heki l
ledmy
parent s..
Isawhi m killmypar ents..Mymot her.
.
Shebeggedhi m. .
butbecausehe' samonst erhe
kil
ledherandguesswhat .
.hecansl eepat
night ,
Iknowhel ovesy ou,helov esy oubeyond
any thinghe'sev erloved,mor ethanhe' sown
fami lyandIknowi fithappenst hatsomet hing
happenst oy ouhewon' tsur v
ive..Iwantto
wat chhi m asy ourdeat hkill
shi m bitbybi
t..he
willkillhi
msel f.
.
Leahst
art
edcoughi
ngIt
urnedmyat
tent
iont
o
her.
.
Me:
ohMyGodt
hankGod.
.
Leah:
hey
..
Hi
m:ohhy ouhav
eresur
rect
ed.
.Congr
atul
ati
ons
ar
einorder.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
ewi
l
lfi
ndy
ouandki
l
lyou!
Hi
m:Bandi
l
e?Wher
e'sBandi
l
e?Bandi
l
e..
Hecal
l
edout
..
Hi
m:opsi
e..
heai
n'
ther
e
All
Ikeptwonder
ingi
swheni
sthehot
elst
aff
goi
ngtocome..
Hi
m:let
'
sseehowy
ourboy
fri
endwi
l
lreactt
o
t
his.
.
Hetookouthisgunthenshotpoint
ingat
Leah,
myheartstoppedbeat
ingforabit
,was
she.
..
?
Il
ookedatLeah,
whi
l
esheal
sol
ookedatme.
.
Me:
are.
.ar
e..
.-
Her
:I
'm ok.
.y
ou?
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:oh.
.mi
ssed.
.
Leah:
youpi
eceofbast
urd
Heshotagai
nandt hi
sti
mehecert
aint
ydidn't
miss,
heshotLeahonhertummybutshedidn'
t
scr
eam,mybodyfeltnumb..
Me:
ohMy
..
Hi
m:nowIbel
i
evewear
eont
hesameboat
..
Mybodywasshi
veri
ng,
Icoul
dn'
tev
enst
opt
he
t
ear
s.Ihel
dhert
ight
lyasshebl
ed.
.
Leah:
pleasedontcr
y..
Shesaidwipi
ngof fmyt ear
s..It
ookof fmyshi rt
andpressedithardonhert ummywer eshehad
beenshottoatleastminimizethebl eeding.For
thefi
rstt
imeIhatedBandi l
e,forthef i
rstti
me
ever
,Ihadanotherfeel
i
ngcl oudingthel oveI
haveforhim.
.Iwasangr y.
..
Ihatedhimt hat
moment .
Leah:
no.
..
please.
.Don'
that
ehi
m
Iwipedawaymytears.
.Ihadt
obestrongf
or
Leah..
atl
eastf
orherihadtobest
rong.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgetusoutoft
hismess.
.
Him:ummmh. .
.Let'
scal
lhi
m,Ir
eal
l
ythi
nkhe
needstohearyourvoi
ce.
Hefishedouthisphonefrom hispocketbutas
hedidthat,
Iwasanalysi
ngthepool f
orany
weapon..Andthat'
swhenIcameuponaf l
ower
potatthecornerofthepool
..IplacedLeah'
s
headdownont hefl
oor.
Hi
m:i
tsr
ingi
ng.
.
Heputthephoneonl
oudspeakerandj
ustt
hen
Bandi
l
eanswered.
Ndi
l
e:hel
l
o?
Bar
abbasst
art
edl
aughi
ng.
.
Ndi
l
e:Iwoul
dn'
tl
aughsol
oudi
fIwer
eyou
Him:ohreall
y?Why ?Ihaveyourbeauti
ful,
v ery
sexycutegir
lfri
endherewithherfri
end..And
I'
m goingtokil
lthem sowhywon' tl
aught hat
fi
nall
yIhavey ourheartwit
hme. .
andI'
m goi ng
tokil
li
t
Ndi
l
e:y
our
eal
l
ydi
dal
amej
obt
ryi
ngt
ohi
de
y
ourdaught
er.
.
Hi
m:daught
er?
Ndi
l
e:ohhwhat
'
shername?UmmmhRose.
.
Bar
abbasstoppedt
alki
ng,
itsl
i
keBandi
l
ehad
hi
tcheckmate.
Bar
abbas:
youwon'
tfi
ndher
Ndi
l
e:Ial
readyhav
eher
ThisBarabbasguyt ur
ned,
f aci
ngawayf rom us
andthat
swhenIusedt hatopportunit
yt osl
owly
standupandgot ot hefl
owerpot..i
twasabi t
bi
gbutitwoul dbuymesomet ime..Sl
owl yI
walkedupt ohim ashetalkedtoBandile,he
wasgettingupset.
Him:
okfine.
.ki
ll
mychildbutst
il
li
fIki
l
lKr
ist
in.
.
Youwil
lyoursel
f,I
'
m sureoft
hat
Sl
owlyIreachedupt ohim andstr
ikedhar
din
hi
sheadt hathelandedont hegr
oundandashe
di
dthathedr oppedthegun,qui
ckl
yItri
edtoget
i
tbuthegr abbedmyl egt
hatIfall
downhar d
andfeltt
hepainasi fIhadjustsl
itmyheadint
o
twopieces.Itr
iedtokickhim of
fbuthesti
ll
hel
dmyl egt i
ghtl
yandpulledmet ohim.Hegot
ontopofmeandhel dmyt wohandst i
ghtl
y.
.
Hi
m:y
out
hinky
ousmar
thuh?
Iwasbr
eat
hinghar
d..
Him:youli
tt
lesexyt
hing,
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndf
ucki
ng
hott
iesli
keyou
Ispitsal
ivaonhi
sfacethatheslappedme
hard,Iev
enhadablurversi
onforawhile.
Hi
m:wepl
ayni
cenowwon'
twe?
Ididn'twanthimtoslapmeagai nsor at
herI
keptquitetryi
ngtothinkofawayout .Ibr
ought
mykneesup, maki
ngsur eIhithi
sballshard
thather el
easedmyhandsgr oaningi
npai nbut
ast r
iedtowiggleoffheslapped,harderthan
beforethatItast
edbloodinmymout h.
Hi
m:y
oul
i
ttl
edi
rt
ycunt
!whor
e!
Hesai
dst
rangl
i
ngme,
squeezi
ngmyt
hroatt
hat
Iwasstar
ti
ngt
ofeel
dizzy
..Hewasbr
eat
hing
har
d..
Hi
m:nowy
ouar
egoi
ngt
odi
e..
Itdi
dn'tt
akememuchmor elongertoreal
ize
thegunbesidesme. .SlowlyIreachedforitand
broughti
ttohisleg,
andwi thoutthinki
ngipulled
thetri
ggermakinghimr ol
lgr
oaningi npai
n.I
stoodupandhel dthegunf ir
ml ywithshaking
hands.Myey esranov ertoLeahwhowasst i
l
l
l
y i
ngwereshewaswi thnomov ement .
Hi
m:f
uck!
Hegroanedst
il
lont
hef
loorasbl
oodozzed
f
rom hi
sleg.
.
Hi
m:soar
eyougoi
ngt
oki
l
lmenowhuhKr
is?
Ikeptqui
te.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
egonnabel
i
kehi
m?Amonst
er?
Isti
l
lremai
nedsi
l
entt
ryi
ngsohar
dtof
ightt
he
tear
saway.
Hi
m:thatsnotyou.
.y
ouar
enotl
i
kehi
m,he'
sa
monsteryounot.
.
Me:
shutup!
Imanagedtosaywi
thmyt r
emblingvoice,
all
I
keptwonder
ingi
swherearethehotel
stuf
f,
sur
elyt
heymusthaveheardgunshor t
s.
Hemanagedtost
andupandst
art
edl
i
mpi
ng
wi
thonel
egtowardsme.
.
Me:
stopi
torIwi
l
lpul
lthi
str
iggeragai
n..
Hedi
dn'
tst
op.
.
Me:
stop!
Hewasget t
ingcl
oserandwi t
hmyey esclosedI
shotagain, hisot
herl egandimmedi atel
y
droppedt hegun.Hef el
ldown,groani ngyet
again..
Icouldheart hepaininhisv oicebuthe
want edtoki l
lus,
probablywon'tstopatanycost .
Ashest il
l wasont hef l
oorIwentov ertohim
andpushedhi mint hepool,
hedidn' tseem to
havet heener gyt
of ightme,andhisey el
i
dswer e
cl
osesbutIdoubthewasdeadbutj ustfal
l
ing
i
ntodar kness.Andonemor epushhewasi nt
he
pool
,drowningunder neathashe'
sblood
col
our edthewat er
.Ipickedupthegun
agai
n,quicklywhenIhear dsomenoisethenQ
emerged, holdi
nghisowngunathand.He
l
ower editashesawme.
Hi
m:hey
..
it
soknow.
.pl
easeputi
tdown.
.
Ithr
ewitonthefloort
henr ushedtoLeah,
Itri
ed
wakingherupbutshejustkeptstil
l
.Icoul
dn't
holdmytearsnolonger,
Ifeltl
ikei
twasallmy
faul
t.
.Shehadbledalotjudgingfr
om theblood
whichsurr
oundedher.
Me:Leahpl
ease.
.Dontgi
veup,
noty
et.
.Ist
il
l
needyou.
.
Qcameandsquat
tedbef
oreher
..
Hi
m:God!
shi
t!
Me:
l
et'
s.
..
let
'st
akehert
othehospi
tal
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hest
oodup.
Ir
efocusedmyat
tent
ionatLeahasmyhear
t
br
okewhenIhear
dBandilesvoi
ce.
"
Aret
heyok?
he'
sdead?
"
Q:Kr
isis,
Leahgotshot
..
sheneedsmedi
cal
aid
r
ightnow..
Ndi
l
e:t
akehert
her
e,Iwi
l
lcl
eart
hisup
Q:
Kri
ski
l
ledhi
m
Ndil
e:Iwi
llt
akecar
eofit
,j
ust
..
taket
hem t
othe
hospi
tal,
thi
sismyfaul
t.
.
Q:
ok
Ikeptmyheaddown, notwanti
ngtosee
Bandil
esface.Iwipedmytearsthathad
cascadedonLeah'sface.Qcamebackt hen
pickedupLeah..
Q:
hey
..
.dontcr
y..
shewi
l
lbeok.
.Let
'
sgo
Ist
oodupandfoll
owedQoutnotevenonce
l
ett
ingmyeyescomeacr
ossBandil
e.The
j
ourneytothehospi
tal
wasf
ast
,get
ti
ngt
her
eQ
car
riedheri
nsi
de.
*
***
***
***
***
***
**
Isatont hefl
oorasIwai t
edf orthedoctor
s
response.Hersmil
ewasonmymi nd..
the
thoughtofIcouldneverseei tagai
nsuffocated
me,itl
eftmewi t
hat hrobbi
nghear t.I
tshould
havebeenme, nother.
.IfelthandsonmeasI
hadmyf acei
nmyhands.
"
Kri
s"
Iwantedt
opushhim away,farawayfrom me
butIhadnost
rengt
htofighthim of
f.Hetook
offmyhandsf
rom myface..
Ndi
l
e:comeher
epl
ease
Il
ookedathi
m wi
thnor
esponse.
.
Heexhal
edthensuddenl
ypickedmeupand
wal
kedwithmetothetoil
ets.Heputmedown
assoonaswegotthere.
Hi
m:t
akeof
fthatshor
tspl
ease
Ilookedathim, Idon'tknowwhattookoverme
thatIslappedhi mt hatmyhandevenhurt.
Nev erinmyl i
fehav eIeverrai
sedmyhandon
anyonebuti tseemedl i
keIcoul
dn'
thol
dmy sel
f,
hedi dn'
tseem sur pri
sedatall
.
Hi
m:pl
easet
akei
tof
f.
.
Me:
you.
..
you.
.
Icoul
dn'tev
enfindthewordstosay,
tear
s
spokeforme,t
hepainthatconceal
edmer an
deeperi
nmyhear t.
Sof
tl
yhepushedmeagai
nstt
hewal
l
.
Hi m:Iknow..it
'smyf aultIknow. .IknowI'mthe
reasonwhywear eheret oday,whyLeahi sin
hospi t
al,Whyy ourli
feisamess. .i
tsallme,I
know. .Iknewt hiswoul dhappenwhenIr eal
iz
ed
Ilovey oumor ethanany thingandmay beIhav e
beeni ndeni al
..Ijustdidn'twantt ofacethe
truththatI'm badf oryou,thatIbr i
ngnothingbut
mi seryinyourl if
e,onlyhear t
break..Idi
dn'twant
toacceptt hatal lIdoismakey oucry..
andthat
I
'mt heoner esponsi bleforthepaint hatliesin
yourhear t,
Iknowi t
sme. .becauseIlov e
you,becauseIl ov ey ousomuchandIst il
l
want edyoubymysi deIst il
lwantedmyhear t
withme. .Iwant edmyheatwi thmej ustawhi l
e
becauseIswearIhav enev erlovedany onet he
wayIl ovey ou. .Iknowi t
sal lme,Iknowy ouhat e
mer ightnowpr obabl ynev erwanttoseeme. .
I
getit,Iunder standei t
herwayIwasnev erthe
manf oryou..Youdeser vesomeonewhowon' t
makey oucr yev erydaylikeme, whocanputup
thatbeaut i
ful smi leofy oursony ourf ace
Hewi
pedawaymyt
ear
s..
Him:
someonewhodeser
vesy
oubecauseI
knowIdon'
t.
.
Hetookof
fmyshortsthenmademewear
somesweatpant
s.Mademewashmybloody
hands.
Hi
m:Iki
l
ledhi
m,i
fthepol
iceget
stoyouwhichI
hi
ghl
ydoubty
oudidn'
tseeanyt
hing,
youwere
sl
eepi
ng.
..
let
'
sst
ickt
othat
Me:
buti
-
Him: Kr
is!Pleasecorporat
ewi thme, I
'm not
goingtol etyougot ojai
lformysi ns..Ilovey
ou
toomucht oev enthi
nkaboutdoi ngt hatto
you..i
tsme. .I
tsall
me, wewi l
lsti
ckt ot his
statementnomat t
erwhat ..
arewecl ear ?
Hewi
pedmyt
ear
saway
..
Him:
Kri
sy ouneedtopromi
semey ouwon'tsay
i
tsyou,
youwon'tsur
viv
ejai
l
..t
heywil
lki
l
lyouin
oneday.
.pl
ease
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Hepickedupmyclot
hesonthef
loorand
shov
edt heni
nsomeplast
ic.
Hi
m:I
'm sosor
ry,
I'
m hoppi
ngonedayy
ouf
indi
t
i
nyourhear
ttofor
giveme..
Hi
sli
pst
ouchedmi
ne,
sof
tl
yhecar
essedmy
l
ipswi t
hhis,makingmef eelgoosebumpsand
l
iket hatallmyangerwasgone. .slowl yhe
kissedmyl ips,
Ifel
tmyf ervorescalati
ngashe
deepenedt hekissandIcoul dn'
thelpi tbutto
kisshi m back,Imissedthisli
ps.Iwr appedmy
armsar oundhi sneckasIst oodonmyt oesnot
want ingthemomentt oend.Hepul ledoutafter
awhi leandki ssedt hecornerofmyl i
ps..
Hi
m:nomat
terIl
ovey
ou,
don'
tdoubti
t.
.
Hesaidbeforewal
kingoutwi t
hmyclothes.
.I
fol
lowedbehindhi
m andaswegott othe
passagewaywesawt hepoli
cetal
ki
ngwi t
h
Q,Bandi
lehandmet heplast
icwit
hmycl ot
hes.
Hi
m:bur
nthatt
oday
..
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Him:st
ickt
othest
atement
..Youdontknow
anyt
hing.
.Ok?
Inodded
Hi
m:good
Wegott owhereQwas,
hewaswiththr
eepoli
ce
off
icer
sbuttheot
heronewasnoti
nunifor
m.Q
andBandil
eseemedrel
axed.
Poli
ceofficer
:I'
m Detecti
veRoads,andI'm wi
th
poli
ceofficer
sher e.
.Bandil
eThulani,
youare
underarrestforthemur derofDeWay ne
Barabbas,youhav ether i
ghttor
emai nsil
entor
anythi
ngy ousaywi l
l beusedagainstyouin
coart.
.
Allmylif
eIhavehear
dthi
ssentenceinmovies
butheari
ngitl
i
veseemedunreal,
ever
ythi
ngjust
seemedunreal
.Thehandcuf
fedhim,Qstood
besidesme.
Ndi
l
e:keephersaf
e
Hesai
dastheywal
kedawaywithhim,
Ifel
tli
ke
api
eceofmewasgonewithhi
m, hewasgone
wi
thmyheart
.Iwi
pedmytear.
.
Me:
Iwi
shIcangobacki
nti
me.
.
Q:
he'
sgoi
ngt
obeoutoft
her
e,t
rustme.
.what
y
oudi
dbackt
her
ewas.
.br
ave
Me:youmeanmemur deri
ngsomeone?Ihav
e
gui
l
thangingonmyshoulder
sandnowhe's
goi
ngtojail
forsomet
hinghedi
dn'
tdo..
Q:i
tsbecausehel ovesy
ou..
youdidn'
tdo
any t
hing,younott
heonewithenemiesher
eor
theonewhobr i
ngssuchcompli
cati
onsbuthe
l
ov esy ou
Me:
hesayshedoesn'
tdeser
veme,
thathesnot
t
hemanforme.
.
Ibl
i
nkedawaymyt
ear
s..
Me:
he'
sgi
venuponusj
ustl
i
ket
hat
..
Q:
i
tsgoi
ngt
obef
ine.
.
Wesatt herewait i
ngfort
hedoctortocome.I
fel
tnumb, i
tfel
tlikeIwaslosingeveryt
hingI
haveeversuf f
eredf or
.Al
lthi
swhi l
eIsticked
wit
hBandi l
e,eveni fhemessedup. .
Ikeptquit
e
notbecauseIcan' tsaybutbecauseIlovehim
anddidn'twantust obreakupandnowt oday
al
lmytearshavewentdownthedrai
nbefor
e
myeyes.Thedoct
orfi
nall
ycame,westoodup.
.
Dr:
wemanagedt or
emov ethebull
et,
itdidn'
tdo
muchdamagesoweexpecthert obef inebut
herwombis..
damaged,wedontknowbuti t
mightbeaprobl
em concei
vingbecausenowi t
's
notstr
ongenought
ogi vehometoababy .
Q:
ther
e'snot
hingt
hatcanbedone?
Dr
:therear
eothersci
enti
fi
cmethods.
.Shecan
al
way shaveherbabythr
oughsomeoneelse'
s
womb
Me:
canweseeher
?
Dr
:ok
Wefoll
owedherasshel edustoherroom.She
waslayi
ngthere,connectedt
omachines..Ihad
hopeshewill
makei t,
thatshewil
lsurvi
vethi
s
wholeor
deal,aft
erallshesafi
ghter
.
.
SAM
.
Iopenedmyey esandshewasst il
ll
y i
ng
besi
desme, lookingbeautifuli
nhersl eep.Fora
whil
et hereIcouldn'tbeli
eveshewasr eally
besi
desmeort hatImadel ovetoher .Iclosed
myey esasIr emember edhersof tvoice
mourningmynameort hewayshewoul dhold
met i
ghtwhenshesgi vi
ngi tup.Igotdi sturbed
bymyphoner i
nging,i
twasKr i
s.Igotof fthe
bedandwor emyj eansthenanswer edhercal l
asIretreatedther oom goingtot hekitchen.
Me:
hey
Her:
hi,
ummhIdontthi
nkIwi
llbeabl
etocome
homet hi
shol
i
dayIdeci
dedt
ol ookf
oraj
ob
Me:
butyougetall
owancef
rom Tay
lorand
mom..
whatdoy ouneedaj
obfor?
Her
:Ineedsomet
hingt
odosoIdontgocr
azy
Icoul
dheart
hatt
her
ewassomet
hingwr
ongi
n
hervoi
ce.
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Her
:Leah.
.she
Sheexhal
ed.
.
Her
:she'
sinhospi
tal
Me:
what
?whathappened?
Her
:she.
..
ummhshegotshot
Ikeptqui
te,
digest
ingt
henewsbi
tbybi
t
Her:
thedoct
orsai
dshewillbeokbutt
her
e'sa
hi
ghchanceofnotconcei
vi
ng
Me:
didy
oui
nfor
m herpar
ent
s?
Her
:noty
et.
.Idontknowwher
etost
art
Shesni
ff
ed.
.
Me:youseewhatbei
ngwi
thev
ery
one'
senemy
does?peopl
egethur
t
Her
:Iknowi
tsmyf
aul
t
Me:where'
sBandi
l
e?I
tsnoty
ourf
aul
t,i
t'
shi
s..
if
hestay
edaway
Her
:i
njai
l
,gotar
rest
edy
est
erday
Shesni
ffedyetagain,Icoul
dsenseshewas
tr
yingt
oholdittogether
Me:Iwon'
taskwhybutKr i
sy ouseethereasonI
t
oldyouhe'snotgoodf oryou..
thi
s,whati
fit
wasyouorwhati fLeahdied?I'm notsay
ingit
s
wrongtolovebutseewhatl oveisdoing
t
oday..
it
shurti
ngev er
yone
Sher
emai
nedsi
l
ent
..
Me:Iknowhel ov
esyouandsodoy oubut
peoplelikeBandil
ewil
lalwaysbetarget
ed,you
cannev erbesafearoundpeoplel
ikethat
,t
he
wayhesur v
ivesisbyki
ll
i
nghisenemi esbefor
e
theykil
lhim..howareyoufeel
ing?
Her:
numb..
everyt
hingseemsunr
eal
and
sur
pri
singl
yI'
m sti
llhopi
ngt
owakeup
Me:youwil
lbefi
ne,r
ememberwhatwetal
ked
about.
.Youhav
et ohav
eyourpl
anexpectbei
ng
wit
hBandil
e
Her
:yeah.
.l
etmegetgoi
ng
Me:
wher
eareyouri
ghtnow?It
houghty
ouwer
e
ony
ourwaytoCapet
own..
Her:
wewerestil
li
nBloemfont
ein,
I'
m goi
ng
backhomeasLeahi sbei
ngtr
ansport
edtoa
hospi
tal
inJohannesbur
g
Me:
saf
ejour
neyandpl
ease.
.Pl
easebesaf
e
Her
:yeah.
.pl
easet
ell
mom I
'
m notcomi
ng
Me:
shewasr
eal
l
ylooki
ngf
orwar
dtoseei
ngy
ou
Her
:t
ell
herI
'
m sor
ry
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo
Thenshehungup,IsighedasIturnedandshe
wasst andi
ngt
hereleaningagai
nstthecounter
withonlymyT-shi
rtonherbodyleavingher
sexylegsouti
ntheopen.
Her
:mor
ning
Me:
hey
,howdi
dyousl
eep?
Her
:ok.
.ummhwhowast
hat
?
Me:ohhthatwasmysi
ster
,Kr
is.
.whatdi
dyou
t
hinkitwas?
Her
:yourgi
rl
fr
iend
Il
aughed
Me:butIt
oldy
ouI'
m si
ngl
e,
wel
lthat
sify
ou
wantitt
ochange.
.
Isai
dwal
ki
ngupt
oher
Her
:guy
sli
key
ouar
enev
err
eal
l
ysi
ngl
e
Me:bel
i
evei
tornot
..
Iam andI
'
minl
ovewi
th
you
Her
:wear
erel
ated
Me:
sowhat
?
Her
:wecan'
t.
.It
swr
ong
Me:sowhatdowedonow..Weignor
ethe
st
rongconnect
ionbet
weenus?
Her
:youknowi
tswr
ongSam
Me:
l
oveknowsnowr
ongunf
ort
unat
ely
Her
:yourdad.
.-
Me:
hedoesn'
thav
etoknow
Her
:unt
ilwhen?
Me:
upunt
ilwer
eadyf
orser
ioust
hings
Isai
dki
ssi
ngherl
i
ps.
.
Her
:mom wi
l
lki
l
lmewhenshef
indsout
Me:
wewi
l
ldeal
wit
hthatwhenwegett
her
e..
Justt
hent
her
ewasaknock.
.
"
Juni
or!
"Mydad'
svoi
cesai
d.
Ti
na:
shi
t!
Me:
rel
ax
Hesti
ll
keptknocki
ng.
.Thenaf
terawhi
l
e
st
opped.
Iki
ssedherli
psasshewantedtotalktoshut
herup,
andjustt
hendadstart
edknockingagain.
Ipi
ckedherupandledhertothebedroom,I'
m
sur
edadwil
lcomeback,
ri
ghtt
hatmomentI
wantedt
obewit
hherbefor
eshedeci
dest
orun.
.
KRI
S
.
AftertheIsawLeaht hepr evi
ousdayQt hen
drovemebackt ot hehot el
.Therewaspoliceall
overthehot el
,acri
mescenehadf or
med.I
couldn'tevenaskany thing,myemot i
onswer e
al
l overtheplace.ThisisnothowIi maginedthe
whol etri
p.Inthemor ningIreceiv
edacal l
from
Qsay inghe'shavingLeahmov edbackt o
Johannesbur g,meaningIt oobegoingback.
Earlythatmor ni
ngIpackedbot hmyt hi
ngsand
Leahsi nthebags.Justt hentherewasaknock
onmydoor .
Me:
who'
sit
?
"
Thabi
"
Iwal
kedt
othedoort
henopenedupf
orher
,but
shewaswi
tht
her
estoft
hegi
rl
s.
Thabu:
Qtol
dus.
.I
'
m sor
ryIwasn'
tther
eKr
is
Me:
i
tsok
Kar
abo:
weareal
lgoi
ngback.
.f
orsuppor
t,af
ter
al
lweareat
eam..
Me:
Idontt
hinkso
Isai
dlooki
ngatThat
o..
That
o:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ryaboutmybi
tchyact
s
Me: youar eapologi
zi
ngt othewrongperson,if
sleepingwi t
hpeople'sboy f
ri
endsgetyougoing,
thendoso. .
eit
herway .
.Leahisdamnoutofy our
l
eague, sheholdsselfr
espectforhersel
fand
doesnotneedt osleepar oundtoprovethat
.I
hopey ousleepwellatnight
Thabi
:
wel
lsai
dKr
is
Kar
abo:
Iagr
ee.
.
Lesedi
:
let
'st
aketheluggaget
othequant
um,
wealsohavepackedalr
eady
Me:
I'
mtaki
ngBandi
l
esAMG
He'
scarwasparkedout
sidet
hehot
el,
hecame
wit
hity
est
erday
.
Idr aggedbot hLeahandmybagst othe
elev ator.Get t
ingt ot hecar ,
Iputt hebagsi nt he
boott henst arteddr ivingbackhome.Thecar
wasf ill
edwi thhi sscent ,
tearsst ungmyey es.I
stil
l couldn'tbel i
ev ehet ookt hef allf
ormeor
thatwecoul dpossi blybeov er .
.ithurtjust
thinkingabouti t
.Iinhal edhi sj ackett hathel eft
whenIwasst illinst ates,Ihadi ton.Somet imes
Idontt hinkIknowwhatl ovei s,thewayhe
l
ookedatmey esterdayhaunt edme, helooked
atmel i
keitwasf ort helastt i
mebutIdi dn't
wanti ttobet hel astt i
me, Isti
ll want edthe
futur eIfantasi sedaboutIst il
l lov edhim,so
muchf orthatmomentandt hat swheni t
actual lydawnedt omet hatnomat t
erwhathe
will probablyhav emyhear t
.Dr ivingbackt o
Johannesbur gIdi dn' tstopatanypoi nt,
agai n
andagai nIkeptonwi pi
ngawaymyt ear
s.
Arrivi
ngatmyf l
atIsear chedf ormymi gr
aines
i
nmysui tcase,Icoul
df eel t
heheadache
buildi
ngupandIwasn' tr eadyf orit
.Assoonas
Ifoundt hem Idr ankthem t henl ayonthecouch
whi chmyey eli
dsgivi
nguponme.Imusthav e
fal
lenasl eepbecauseIwokeupwhenIf el
tcold.
Openi ngmyey esIrealizedi twasr aini
ngbutI
want edtoseeBandi l
e..I shesur vi
vingthereor
wheni sheget ti
ngbail.IcalledQwhoanswer ed
afterawhi l
e..
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.ar
ri
vedsaf
ely
?
Me:I
'
m sur
ethepeopl
etai
l
ingmehav
eal
ready
gi
venyouarepor
t.
.
Hi
m:Bandi
l
ewant
syousaf
e
Me:
Iwantt
oseehi
m
Hekeptqui
te.
.
Hi
m:i
tsr
aini
ng
Me:
Iknow.
.Ist
il
lwantt
oseehi
m
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.Bandi
l
e..
Me:
Iwantt
oseehi
m,Ineedt
o-
Him:howabouty
ouspeakt
ohi
m ov
ert
he
phone
Me:whi
chpol
icest
ati
oni
sheat
?andwheni
she
get
ti
ngbai
l?
Him:hedi
dn'
tgetbai
l
..hi
sfi
ngerpr
int
sareover
thedeadguysoit
sproofenought
hathemight
havehadahandinhi
sdeath
Me:
whyi
sthi
shappeni
ng?
Him:dontworr
y,t
heydonthav
et heweapon
yet
,t
heyneeditandBandil
eslawyeri
sgood..He
wil
lfi
shhim outoft
hissoonenough
Me:
whycan'
tIseehi
m?hedoesn'
twantt
osee
me?
Hi
m:ci
rcumst
ancesKr
is
Me:
Qpl
ease.
.I
'
m dy
ingher
e
Hi
m: hewastranspor
tedt
oaprisonint
he
morning,
aft
erthewholeni
ghtbeing
i
nter
rogat
ed
Me:wi
l
ltheyharasshi
m?Ihear
dpr
isonscanbe
ver
ydangerous
Hesof
tl
ylaughed
Hi
m:ifBandi
l
eisther
e,he'
sGod.
.Unt
ouchabl
e..
Herulest
hejai
l
Me:
ok.
.l
etmet
alkt
ohi
m ov
ert
hephone
Q:
l
etmedr
ivet
her
e
Me:
howf
ari
sLeah?
Q:herpl
anei
slandi
ngat1700hr
ssot
hat
sin
3hrs
Me:
ok
Q:
Iwi
l
lbet
her
e
Thenhehungup,myphonet
henv
ibr
ated.
.It
wasatextf
rom Alex.
"
Hwi
sēt
rp?
hpeuhv
ngf
un.
.XO"
Qui
ckl
yIt
ypedar
esponse.
"
I'
m notcmnghm 4t
hehol
i
day
s,cuwi
nter
"
Shedi
dn'
ttakel
ongt
orepl
y.
"Why?
Ithotasal
wyswewi
l
lspendXmas
2gt
her.
."
"
Inidaj
obbutIwi
l
lmkeupf
rit
..Tshepi
ewl
lbe
t
hre"
"
It
snott
hesameuknwi
t"
"
Ilov
eyou,
wil
ltal
k"
Itextednotwant i
ngt ospeakanymore,i
twas
ti
ringnow.Iwentt hroughmypi ct
ureswit
h
Bandi l
e.Imissedthosestolenhappy
moment s,
sil
lyfi
ghts.
.IputmyphoneawayasI
heardt heknockont hedoor.
Iwentt
othedoorandopenedi
t,
itwasQ.
Me:
comei
n
Hegoti
nsi
det
hehouse.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi.
.
Hetookouthi
sphoneanddi
aledsome
numberst
hengavemethephone.
Hi
m:i
tsr
ingi
ng.
.
Ihel
ditt
omyearwit
hmyhear
tsl
ammi
nghar
d
agai
nstmychest
.
Thephonegotanswer
edaf
terawhi
l
e..
Hi
m:mhhm?
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osaynow.
..
.
Hi
m:Q?
Me:
i
tsme
Hekeptqui
tef
orawhi
l
e
Me:
arey
ouok?
Hi
m:y
eah,
I
'm goody
ou?
Me:
Iwashopi
ngy
ou'
dgetbai
l
Hi
m:dontwor
ryy
our
sel
ftoomuchont
hat
..
Me:
arey
ouget
ti
ngout
?
Hi
m:y
eah,
obv
iousl
ybutnotnownow,
ther
e'sa
pl
an
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
owai
tfory
ou
Him:
y ousti
ll
wannabewithmeaf
terallt
hisshi
t?
Il
ovey ouenought
olety
ougoKri
s,I
'm not
hol
dingyoubackbabe
Me:
Ist
il
ll
ovey
ouev
enaf
teral
lthi
sshi
t
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo,
somuchf
ort
hatmat
ter
Me: goodbecauseli
keanyot
hershi
twe'v
ebeen
through.
.Wewi ll
alsomakei
tthr
oughthi
sone
also
Him:
Ican'tbel
i
eveyousti
l
l wantme..
Ithought
youwouldberunni
ngfortheHil
lst
hismi nut
e
Me:IguessIcan'
tseem t
ost
ayawayf
rom
t
rouble.
.Iwanttoseeyou
Hi
m:Idontwanty
out
oseemei
njai
l
Me:
please
Him:
Iwil
lmakeaplanbuthonest
lyIdontwant
youany
wherenearthi
spr
ison
Me:
howaboutwet
alkt
hroughmyphone?
Him:Ican'
thaveyoucall
i
ngt hi
sphone
babe..
imagi
neifIgetburst
ed..
Idontwanty
our
nameappear i
nginmymess
Me:
soIcan'
ttal
ktoy
ounorseey
ou?
Hi
m:j
ustforawhi
l
e,unt
ilI
'
m outofher
e..
wewi
l
l
t
alkt
hroughQ
Me:
what
eversai
l
syourboat
Him:Il
ov eyou,
Ishoul
dgetgoingnow
babe..
pleasepi
ckupy ourcarf
rom myhouse.
.
Me:
ok.
.I
'
m goi
ngt
olookf
oraj
ob
Hi
m:Icanf
ixy
ousomet
hingatmywor
kpl
ace
Me:
that
'snepot
ism
Hi
m:whogi
vesf
ucks?
Me:
Idontwantt
o..
-
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lSt
eveandhewi
l
lcal
lyou.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
-
Hi
m:di
scussi
oni
sov
er.
.Iwi
l
lkeepsendi
ngy
ou
money
Me:
Ifeel
li
ke.
.Li
ke.
.
Hi
m:dontf
eel
li
keany
thi
ng.
.Il
ovey
ou
Befor
eIcouldrepl
ythel
i
nehadal
readywent
dead.It
urnedandgaveQhi
sphone..
Q:
wegooday
t?
Me:
he'
ssocont
rol
l
ing
Hechuckl
ed
Q:
he'
susedt
oitany
waywi
l
lyoubef
ineal
one?
Me:i
tsnotl
i
keIhav
eanychoi
cet
hant
obe
al
one
Hechuckl
ed
Q:Icansti
ckaroundforawhil
e,t
henwegosee
Leah,Idr
opy ouofft
henIgohome..how's
that?
plusyouhaven'
teatenandI'
m alsohungr
y..
Iwillor
derforus
Me:
dontwor
ryIwi
l
lcook
Q:
per
fect
!
Iwalkedt
otheki
tchenwi
thhi
m behi
ndme.AsI
cookedhewasbusyonhi
sphone.
Hi
m:y
ousur
eyoudontneednohel
p?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:ohhy eahandagai
n...
hesai
dy oucankeep
hi
scar,andhesaidhelefthi
scl
othesinthe
washi
ngmachi neanddidyoubur
nt hecl
othes?
Me:
no.
.If
orgot
Hi
m:gett
hem
Iwenttomyroom t
hengott
hepl
ast
icbagand
handedtoQ.
Hi
m:ami
nut
e
Hesai
dwalki
ngout
,ashedi
dthatIdi
shedf
or
bot
hofus.Hecamebackaf
terawhil
e..
Hi
m:ohThanky
oudone.
.I
'
m st
arv
ing
Me:
hel
pyour
sel
f.
.
 *
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Thatni ghtwedi dgoandseeLeah, shewast he
samebutdeepdownIbel i
evedshewoul dpul l
through.Thef oll
owingdayf i
rstt
hingIdidaf ter
bathingwasgot oBandileshouse.Arrivi
ng
thereIwaswel comedbyI vy'
scarwhi chwas
parkedwher eIusuall
yparkmycar .One
thoughtt ol
dmet otakeau-turnbuttheot her
woul dn'tl
etmef orRespect'
ssake.Igotof fthe
carandwal kedinsi
de,shewasi nthesitti
ng
room wi thEnhleandsomeman.Themoment
Enhlesawshegotupandhuggedmet i
ght l
y ,
shepul ledputafterawhileasshewi pedof fher
tears.
Her
:wedontknowwher
ehei
s..
.
I
vycamet
owardsmeandalsohuggedme,
I
l
ovedt
hewar
m welcome.
I
vy:
howar
eyouDar
li
ng?
Me:
Iwi
l
lbef
iney
ou?
I
vy:
I'
mtry
ing.
.Wedontknowwhi
chj
ail
hes
i
n,
where'
she?
Me:
unfor
tunat
elyIal
sodontknow,
he'
sref
usi
ng
t
otel
lme
Iv
y:God!Iknowhecandoanythi
ng,oral
most
everyt
hingwrongbutmur
der?Idontknow,
I
don'tevenknowwheret
otouch..
Enhl
e:hesprobabl
ybei
ngf
ramed.
.y
ouknowhe
wil
lneverdothat
DeepdownIachedt
ot el
lthem i
t'
sme,I
'
mthe
onewhoshouldbei
njail
nothim,I'
mthe
monsternothi
m.
I
vy:
Ihopeso
Man:
wewi
l
lfi
ndhi
m,dontwor
ry
I
vy:
Ikeeponwonder
ingi
fhe'
seati
ng,
Ican'
teat
wi
thoutknowi
ngi
fmysoniseati
ngornot
Ikeptqui
te,
Idi
dn'
tev
enknowwhatsay
.
I
vy:
Enhl
ehascooked.
.Youwant
?
Me:
noI
'
mfi
neMa
Shenoddedthenwentt
oseatdownwiththe
man,
whileEnhl
epull
edmetotheki
tchen.
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Her
:Iknowy
ouhav
etal
kedt
ohi
m..
how'
she?
Me:
he'
sok,
he'
slawy
eri
sont
opofi
t
Her
:t
hat
sgood,
howar
eyou?
Me:
Idontknow.
.
Her
:Iknowthef
eel
i
ng,
Ihav
ebeent
ryi
ngt
oget
hol
dofQ..
Me:
ohh.
.
Her
:yeahbutv
oicemai
l
..Wantf
ood?
Me:
noI'
m good,
hel
eftcl
othesi
ntheWashi
ng
machi
ne
Her
:It
ookcar
eofi
t
Me:
thankGod.
.
Her
:wannagooutf
orf
reshai
r?
Me:y
eah.
.whynot
?wecandi
scussy
our
boy
fri
end
Shel
aughed
Her
:hedumpedmeaf
terr
eal
i
zingI
'
m acr
azy
whore
Me:hey.
.y
ounotcrazy
..
youarey
ourown
her
o..maybewecanresor
ttost
rongbeaut
if
ul
whore
Shel
aughed
Her
:yeah.
.ei
therway
..
hewasanasswhor
e
Ichuckl
ed
Me:
youseenow?
Her
:yeah..
youknowIdi
dn'
tthi
nky
ouandAndy
wer
egoi ngtocomefar
..
Me:
yeahbutl
ookt
oday
..
Her
:weshoul
dwi
fet
hatass
Il
aughed.
.
Her
:ser
iousl
y.
.Imeani
tsbeenwhat
?ay
earnow?
Me:
andsomemont
hs
Her:
yeah..Plustherear
evul
tur
esoutther
e..
and
youaretheonl ygir
lwhohasmanagedtokeep
himinhisline
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
hisl
i
ne?
Her
:yeahl
i
kei
tsal
way
sKr
ist
hat
,Kr
ist
his.
.
Il
aughed
Me:
stopl
yi
ng
Her:
I'
mtel
li
ngyouandforthefi
rstt
imehe
admit
tedhewasscar
ed..
scaredoflosi
ngy
ou
Me:
ok.
.enoughoft
hisl
et'
sgo
Whatshewassay i
ngwast r
igger
ingmy
emotionsandIwastr
yingsohardtohol
dit
toget
her.
 *
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Dr:
i
tsactual
l
yagoodthi
ngthatshecannow
br
eathonherown,
soonenoughshewillbe
awake.
.
Me:
butshehasbeenl
i
ket
hatf
or2weeksnow
Dr:
herorgansar
estil
ltr
yingt
ogetont
he
pace.
.i
tsnormalfort
histohappen
I
tsbeen3weeksandGodknowsIwasget ti
ng
fr
ustratedbyt hesecond,Iexpectedhertowake
upwhenshel eftcomabutshehasj ustbeen
l
yingther eeversincet
hen.Thef actthatI
haven'ttoldherparent
sy etmakesmewantt o
di
e.Theyar egoingtotr
ip..
thr
owal eganda
half
.
Me:
Ij
ustwantherawake
Dr
:shewi
l
lbef
ine,
dontgi
veupy
et.
.i
tsal
most
ov
er..
Me:
ok
Iwal
kedoutofherof
fi
cet
henwentt
owor
k,i
t
wasar oundlunchti
me.Bandi lei ndeedfixedme
somet hi
ngathi sworkplace,asasecr etary.
.
Wellthereisasecret
ar ybutsi ncet hecompany
i
sexpandi ngitshar
dordi ffi
cul ttomanagewi t
h
onesecr etar
yorsoSt evesay s.Iusual l
ykeep
recor
ds,takenotesduringmeet ingsanddo
generalcleri
calwor
k.
Avest i
ll
wor ksthere,
butshesSteve'sPA.Si nce
thelastIspoket oBandil
ethatwast helastt i
me
becauseQhasbeent el
li
ngmeBandi l
eist r
ying
toplayitsafebutIjusthadaf eel
inghedi dn't
wantt oseeme.Wal ki
nginsi
demyof fi
cewi th
theothersecretaryIsawAv eseatingwithher .
Shewaspr ett
yclosewitheveryone.
Ave:
Kris..
wewerewai
ti
ngforyou.
.Nonowas
ev
ent hinki
ngy
ouhadlunchout
Nonoi
stheot
hersecr
etar
y.
Me:
hadt
ogoseeLeah
Av
e:how'
sshe?
Me:
she'
sbet
ter
..
shewi
l
lbef
ine
Nono:
that
sgood.
.Weboughtpi
zza.
.
Iwentandsatbesi
desthem att
hecouchesat
thecor
neroftheof
ficeandate.
LaterthatdayIdr ov ehome, Iwasf eeli
ngdizzy
butthenmymi graineshav ebeenact ingupal ot
andIhav ebeenpr ocrastinatingmygoi nggo
thehospi tal becauseI '
m scar ed.Whati fIhave
braintumororwor secancer ?Ist agger edtomy
room wi thabl urredv ersiont henpassedouti n
thebed.Waki ngupt hef ollowi ngday ,
Iwas
feel
ingnauseas, Ihadast rongur get o
vomi t.
.quicklyIr ant ot het oi
letandl l
etitall
out
upunt ilIfeltt hatmyt ummywasj ustsoempt y,
I
hadr esear chedandf eeli
ngnausea, thedizzy
spells,
vomi ti
ngi sMi grainesy mpt oms.Af t
er
vomi ti
ngIf eltweak, ti
redt obeexact .Iwalked
totheki tchenanddr ankwat er .AsIdi dthatI
heardaknocki nt hedoor ,afterdraggi ngmyf eet
tothedoorIf inall
yopenedt hedoor .
Me:
whati
ntheLor
dsnamear
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Him:y
oust i
ll
don'thavenori
ngony
our
f
inger.
.canIpleasecomein?
.
BANDI
LE
.
Qsatacr
ossmedur
ingv
isi
ti
nghour
.
Hi
m:sowhenar
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lher
?
Me:l
ikewhat
..OhhheybabeIhavebeen
sent
encedto35yearsi
npri
son..
Hi
m:y
ouknowshewi
l
lfi
ndoutei
therway
..
Me:
how'
sshe?
Hi
m:shesok.
.
Hegav
emeanenv
elope.
Hi
m:t
hisweeksphot
os.
.
Itear
edt
heenvel
ope,t
heguar
dsofcausedidn'
t
sayorst
opbecauset
heyonmypayrol
l.
.pl
us
bei
ngmemakesmef
ear
edbyal
otofpeopl
e.
Shelookedbeaut
if
ul,f
lawl
ess.
.Thebody
huggingdr
essexposedhercur
vesandass.Her
l
egswer eal
loutt
here.
Me:
shesr
eal
l
yget
ti
ngext
rabeaut
if
ul
Hi
m:reasonfory
out
ogetoutofher
ebef
ore
t
heysnatchher
Me:Idon'twantthepolicereopeni
ngthecase
j
usty et
,i
t'
sstil
lfr
eshiftheyfindouti
twasnot
met heywill
doacar efulfol
lowupandLeah
andKr i
smaybepar toft hatfol
lowup..
soIthi
nk
Iwil
lsti
ckaroundher eforaf ewmonthsbefor
e
Ihavethem reopenthecase. .
Him:ok.
.i
tsal
readyDecember
..Soonenough
var
siti
eswil
lbereopeni
ng.
.Theymightsteal
her
Me:dontmakemegocr
azy
..
Iwantt
otal
kto
her
..
Hi
m:Iwi
l
llandatherhousel
ater
Me:
yeah
Him:t
hewayy ouaresodi r
ty.
.y
ouarerunning
youri
ll
egalshi
tfr
om jai
l
..Ihopeyoudon'tget
burst
edbecauseifyoudo..-
Me:
beposi
ti
ve.
.Pl
usdontwor
ry.
.Ial
way
s
mast
ert
hisgame
Hi
m:ok.
.Enhl
eisst
il
lonmycase
Me:
tel
lher
Hi
m:aboutt
ime
Me:j
ustnotKr
is.
.Idontwantherseei
ngmel
i
ke
t
his
Him:youlookjustyou.
.not
hinghaschanged
wellexpectthenewKristi
ntatooj
ustbel
ow
yourneck..
nogirlwoul
dwantt ofuckwit
hyou
seei
ngt hat
Il
aughed
Me:y
ouwouldbesurpr
isedtoseet
hel
i
st.
.my
di
ckgameisovert
helevel
s
 *
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Iwalkeddownt omycellt
hatIwascurr
ently
shari
ngwi t
hsomeI tal
ianguycall
edSantani
o.
He'sinforadrugburst.He'
sjustanor
dinary
guy,
scaredasf uckandthatswhyhesti
ckswi t
h
memor eof t
en.Igotinthecell
andhewason
thefl
oorkneelingdowncryingwit
hTedsitti
ng
onhisbedwi thhisgoons.
Tedst
oodupassoonashesawme, TedandI
usedt
owor ktogetherwnenIwassti
ll
17ifnot
18,
andwe'vealwaysknowneachother.Hegav
e
meafistbump...
Hi
m:Bandi
l
e..
Me:
what
'
sgood?
Hi
m:whydoy
ouhav
eachi
ckenwi
thy
ou?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
hepr
aysf
orme
Tedl
aughed.
.
Hi
m:dontbef
unny
..
Ey!
lethi
m go.
.
Theyl
eftSant
ani
owhowasnowshaki
ng.
Hi
m:t
her
e'sapr
obl
em
Me:
tal
ktome
Him:t
hepersonwhosuppl
iesmewit
hdrugsgot
caught
..AndIhav
eorder
sIneedt
odeli
ver
Ikeptqui
te,
let
ti
nghi
m goon.
Him:
Ineedyoutosuppl
ymewi
thdr
ugs.
.Ihear
d
yousel
lgoodthi
ngs
Me:yeahbutnoti
npr
isons.
.It
sri
skyandIhat
e
r
isks,
youknowmebet t
er.
.
KRI
S
.
Me:
Ithi
nki
twi
l
lbeagr
eatt
hingi
fyoul
eav
e
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
youl
ookdr
ained.
.
Hesai
dpushi
ngmeoutoft
hewayandget
ti
ng
i
nsi
det
hehouse.
Me:
Iwi
l
lbef
inet
hemomenty
oul
eav
e
Hi
m:wannagooutf
orbr
eakf
ast
?
Me:
noI
'
mfi
ne.
.
Hi
m:how'
syourmi
grai
ns?
Ikeptqui
teandj
ustl
ookedathi
m.
Hi
m:I'
m sor
ryaboutl
astt
ime,
Icr
ossedt
hel
i
ne
pl
easefor
giv
eme
Me:y
oushouldbe,
youcan'
tbeusingmeabout
whatev
erbeefy
ouhavewithBandil
e..
Hi
m:y
ouar
eri
ghtandI
'
m sor
ry.
.t
ruce?
Me:
tr
uce
Hi
m:canwest
il
lbef
ri
ends.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
edoesn'
tl
ikei
t
Hi
m:Bandi
l
eisn'
ther
e
Bef
oreIcoul
drespondIheardaaknock.I
wal
kedtothedoorandEnhlest
oodattheother
si
de.Wit
habrightsmil
eshehuggedmet
hen
l
ether
selfi
nbutstoppedhal
fway.
Me:
Khany
aisf
ri
endandKhany
athi
sEnhl
emy
..
-
Enhl
e:si
steri
nlaw
Ial
mostr
oll
edmyey
esbutst
oppedmi
dway
.
Khany
a:ni
cemeet
ingy
ousi
steri
nlaw
Me:
Khany
awasj
ustl
eav
ingr
ight
?
Isai
dopeni
ngt
hedoorwi
del
y.
.
Khany
a:r
ight
..
Hewal
kedupt
omeandst
oppedbyt
hedoor
.
Him:dontl
ethi
m cont
rol
you.
.y
oudeser
ve
bett
er
Thenhewasoutl
eav
ingmewi
thEnhl
e.
Enhl
e:Ihadbr
oughty
oubr
eakf
ast
,wannaeat
?
Me:
I'
m hungr
y..Di
dn'
teatl
astni
ght
Enhl
e:y
oushoul
dn'
tst
arv
e,Ndi
l
ewoul
dn'
tl
ikei
t
Me:
ohr
eal
l
y
Enhl
e:y
esr
eal
l
y
Me:
youknowwhi
chpr
isonhe'
sindonty
ou?
Enhl
e:what
?
Me:
not
hing
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

[
11/27,15:
14]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t50
KRI
S
.
.
Afewminut
esaf t
erEnhl
ecameshel eft
,she
hadanemergencyshehadtodealwiththat
s
whyshecamet hi
ssidef
rom Capet
own.Ididn'
t
havet oaski twasmuchcl eart hatsheknew
wher eBandi l
ewasbutIdi dn' tgetsur prised.It
s
notthef ir
stt i
meei t
herway .Af tereati
ngI
preparedf orwor k.Iwor emynudehi ghwai st
pencilskirt,
withasl itj
ustbel owmymi dt high
withawhi tearml esstopt uggedi nandnude
heels.Theski rtdidwonder st omybody ,
ithung
atther i
ghtpl aces,reasonwhyLeahhadbought
i
tint hefirstplace.Igr abbedt hel i
ghtpinkish
bagt opur pleandmywor kf ilesanddr ov eto
workwi t
hBandi lescar .IdontknowwhyIwas
sti
llusingi t
,may bet hefactt hati twashi sgot
met hrought heday .Iarri
vedatwor kt henwent
totheof fi
ce.Nonowasal readyi n.
Her
:Kr
is
Isatdown.
.
Me:
hey
Her
:youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.Asal
way
s
Il
aughed
Me:
sodoy
ou.
.
Shel
aughed
Her
:st
opmaki
ngfunofme. .
I'
m anover
sizedgi
rl
whi
leyouont
heotherhand.
.sexymama
Me:
dontsayt
hingsl
iket
hat
..y
ouarebeauti
ful
t
hewayyouarethi
ckornot
,sl
enderornot
Her
:yeah.
.t
hatswhyIhav
enev
erhadar
eal
boy
fri
endbefore.
.
Me:
youhav
enev
erdat
ed?
Her
:ont
hephone.
.
Me:
cat
fi
shi
ng?
Her
:pr
ett
ymuch.
.
Me:IthinkIneedt
osetyouuponabli
nd
date..
youarebeaut
if
ul,
don'
tthi
nksol
owof
yourself
Her:
Ihat
etoembar
rassmysel
f.
.Sopl
ease
f
orgetput
ti
ngmeupforabli
nddat
e
Me:
youar
eav
irgi
n?
Her
:yeah.
.vi
rgi
nat24.
.
Me:y
oushouldn'
tbeashamedofyourown
body.
.y
ouneedtofeelpr
oudabouti
t.
.
Justthent
hedoorswungopenandSt
evegot
i
nside.
Hi
m:ummhKr
ist
in.
.i
nmyof
fi
cepl
ease
Me:
yesSi
r
Hel
eft
..
Me:
am i
ntr
oubl
e?
Nono:
IdontknowbutIdontt
hinkso.
.goheari
t
Istoodup,
fixedskir
tthenwal
kedt
ohisoff
ice.I
enteredaf
terhim andsatont
hechai
racr
oss
his.
Hi
m:goodmor
ning
Me:
Mor
ningMrVanRay
Hesatdownthenl
ookedatme,
myhear
twas
beat
ingf
ast
.
Hi
m:Chr
ist
masi
sinaweek.
.
Ikeptqui
te.
.
Him:wearel aunchinganewbranchinLondon
asyoualreadyknow. .wewi
ll
bemeet i
ngwi t
h
thei
nvestors..It
hinkitmi
ghtbehelpifyou
comewi t
h..
Me:
m-me?
Hi
m:yes,
Ithinkweneedy
outhere.
.t
hat
sify
ou
ar
eint
erestedMissMacv
erdana
Me:
ofcauseIam butIhav
eaf
ri
endi
nhospi
tal
.
.
Him:t
akeyourt
imet
othi
nkabouti
t,
it
san
opport
uni
ty
Me:
yesSi
r
Hi
m:y
ouar
eexcused.
Iwal
kedout
..
Nono:
and?
SheaskedasIgoti
nsi
det
heof
fi
ce.
Me:hewant
smet
ogot
oLondonwi
tht
he
company
Nono:
it
sgoingt ofunI
'
mtel
l
ingyou.
.afew
weeksbefor
ey oucamewewereatCanada.
.
Wearegrowing..
Me:
Idi
dn'
tagr
ee
Her
:why
?
Me:
Leahneedsme
Nono:y
eahIunder
standhey.
.MrThul
ani
isreal
l
y
makingreal
money,
theexpandi
ngthi
ngisa
bomb
Idi
dn'
ttel
lanyonethatBandi
leismyboyfr
iend,
I
j
ustwantedtokeepmyper sonall
i
fepr
ivat
e.
Me:
yes.
.
Latert
hatday,
aswewalkedtotherestaur
ant
thatst
woblocksawayf
rom thecompanyI
bumpedintoAve,
shedi
dn'tseem happyatal
l
.
Me:
hey
Av
e:Iseesl
eepi
ngwi
tht
heownerpay
s..
Il
ookedatherconfused,f
oramomentther
eI
woul
dhav ethoughtshestal
ki
ngwi
thNonobut
shewaslookingdir
ectl
yatme.
Me:
whatar
eyouonabout
?
Ave:
youonlycameyest
erdayandv
oil
àyouar
e
al
readygoi
ngtobusi
nesstri
ps
Me:
whatar
einsi
nuat
ingAv
is?
Ave:
thaty
ourboyfr
iendi
sbehi
ndal
lthi
s,
you
di
dn'
tearnitf
air
ly
Nono:
arey
ouj
eal
ous?
Shel
aughed.
.
Av
e:j
eal
ousofwho?
you?
Nono:
Avei
tsenoughmahn!
Nonosaidpull
ingmeaway .Allt
hewaytothe
rest
aur
antIwasquite,sti
l
ltr
yingtodi
gestwhat
j
usthappened.Shedidmakesense,maybe
Bandal
eisbehindal
lthis.
Nono:dontov ert
hinkthingsKri
s..Shewas
obviouslyexpect
ingtogobutt urnedout
otherwise.
.Thatswhy..butar
ey ou..
-
Me:I
'
m notsleepi
ngwi
thSt
eve,
Ihav
ea
boy
fri
endItoldyou
Nono:
ok.
.l
et'
sor
der
..
Weor der
edLunchandat
e.OnourwaybackI
wasHopingIdontbumpint
oAv i
s,
Iwasreal
ly
upsetshewoul
dmakeanout bur
stl
iket
hat.
TherestofthedayIdi
dn'tseeAvi
sany wher
e
andIactual
l
ypraisedGodf ort
hat
.Afterwor
k
asusualIwenttoLeah.Shewasstil
lthesame.
Isatbesi
desherinachair.
Me:hey.
.i
tsmeagain.Thedoct orsaysyouar e
doi
ngf i
ne..
Iknowyouwi llpul
lthr
ough,Iwas
pl
anningthatwheny ouareoutwewoul ddoour
ownadv ent
ureroadtrip,
i
twouldbef unright
?
Chr
istmasisaroundt hecorner
..Ourfi
rst
Chr
istmastogether
..Pleasewakeup. .
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s..
Me:Ineedyou.
.I
-If
eelsolonelyri
ghtnowbutI
dontwanttogiveupyet.
.youtheonewho
alwayssay"
wetooy oungtobesad"wellIsay
youaretooyoungtobeher e.
.youneedt
owake
up..
Ikissedherf oreheadt henwalkedoutwi t
ha
heav yheartbutIsmi leditout
..asalway s.Feeli
t
butdontshowi t..
mynewmot to.Idr ovehome
andsatonf rontofthet v.Thet vwat chedme
asmyheav yhear tki
lledme.Iwant edLeah
awake, l
aughingasal way s.
.Iwant edBandi l
eto
behol di
ngmet i
ghttell
ingmeev eryt
hingwillbe
fi
nebutIf eltempt yandi thur
t..Iwanteditto
stop.
.
LEAH
.
If
eltheav
y,If
eltl
i
kesomet
hingheav
ywasput
onmybodyt hatIcouldn'
tevenmove."
Ineed
you..
I-
ifeelsolonel
yrightnowbutIdontwant
togiveupjusty ety
out heonewhosays"wetoo
youngt obesad"wel l
Isayy out
ooyoungtobe
here.
..Youneedt owakeup"
Icoul
dhearthewords,
andcoul
dn'
tmispl
ace
thepai
ninthem,
Ineededtowakeup,
andwake
upnow.
Ibatt
ledwi
tht
heheavi
nessbutitwasjustt
oo
str
ongandagai
nIfel
li
ntothedarkness.
.No..
.
ALEX
.
Icoul
dn'tseem t otakemyattentionoffSam
andcousinTi na.Thewaysheshy lyl
ookedat
awaywhenhel ookedatherort hewayhe
const
antlylookedather .AsIl
ookedatt hem
mymi ndslippedi nt
oitsowncor ner.
.
"
OhhmyGod!
youdi
dn'
tusecondom Tshepi
e
why
?"
"Shi
t!
itsl
ipped.
.butdontwor
ry,
Iwi
l
lgety
ou
somet hi
ngforthat"
"
What
evert
akemehome"
"
Alexdon'
tbel
i
ket
hat
..I
twasapur
ehonest
mist
ake"
"
Yeah"
"
Poohbear
..Pl
ease"
Mom:
I'
m sogl
adwear
ehav
ingt
hisdi
nner
Mom sai
dbr
ingi
ngmebackt
oear
th.
.
Sam'
sfat
hersmi
l
ed.
.
Him:
yes.
.y
ouguysreal
lyout
didy
our
sel
ves.
.
Thi
smeal i
sdel
i
cious
Sam:
Iagr
ee
Mom:thoughyoursi
stershouldhav
ebeen
her
e..
Idontunder
standwhat'ssoimpor
tant
morethanfamil
y.
Sam:t
here'
snot
hingimport
antmor
ethanf
amily
mma,j
ustshestr
yingtol
iv
eherownli
fepl
ease
l
ether.
.
Mom:
may
beweshoul
dgi
veherasur
pri
sev
isi
t
Sam: Mama..
pleasegiveherspace,
she'
s
growing.
.Letherlear
nt ol
iveherownli
fe,
she
will
come
Mom:can'
tbeli
eveshesal
readygr
own.
.how'
s
Ll
oydandLinda?
Mom askedlooki
ngatSam'sfat
her
,Ical
lhi
m
Dadt
oj ustavoi
dawkwardness.
Hi
m:Lloydisst
il
ldoi
nghi
sar
tthi
ngwhi
l
eLi
nda
i
satVarsi
ty.
.
Mom:t
heymustbebi
gnow..
Ilastsawt
hem
whent
heyweret
oddl
ers.
Hi
m:t
heyhav
e.
Thekeptt
alki
ngabouttheki
dsasIl
ookedback
atSam.Iwasdist
urbedbymyphoneri
ngi
ng,i
t
wasTshepi
e.
Mom: Al
exwhatdi
dIsayaboutphonesonthe
t
able?Thisi
swhymeandKr isar
ealways
f
ighti
ng.
.Thi
stabl
eisforeat
ingnotf
orphones.
Ii
gnoredherasIwal
kedt
omyr
oom and
answeredt
hephone.
Hi
m:hey
..
Me:
hi
Hi
m:st
il
lmad?
Me:
no
Hi
m:canIcomeov
er
Me:
youdon'
thav
eto.
.
Hi
m:babepl
ease.
.
Me:
I'
mti
red
Hi
m: I
'
mr eall
ysor
ry,
l
et'
smeetupt
omor
row
morningthen.
.
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Isatonthebedexhali
ng.Thesamemi st
ake
wasnevergoingtohappenagain.It
ookmy
phoneanddialedKri
s'
snumber,Ineededmy
si
stert
hismoment .Sheanswer
edaf terawhil
e.
Her
:baby
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou
Her
:met
oobaby
Me:
Iwannacomet
her
e
Her
:mostoft
heti
meI'm nothomesoy
ouwi
l
l
beal
one,
Idon'
twantt
hat
Me:i
tdoesn'tmatt
erbutev
eni
ngsy
ouar
ehome
r
ight
..Soplease
Her
:Al
exbaby
..
Me:pl
ease.
.Iwanty
ouwi
thme.
.mom i
s
suf
focat
ing
Her:
butschool
sareal
mostreopeni
ngandwhat
aboutChri
stmas?
mom wil
lspenditonl
ywi
th
Sam?
it'
snotf
air
Me:and?
youar
eal
onet
her
e..
pleasel
etme
come
Her
:whataboutSam?
Ikeptqui
te.
.
Her
:yousee.
.don'
twor
ryaboutme.
.Imi
ssy
ou
t
oo
Me:
thencome
Her:
Alexpl
ease.
.I'
m wor
king,
youneedt
o
under
standthat
Me:
Igeti
t.
.j
ustmi
ssmybeaut
if
ulsi
ster
Her
:shemi
ssesy
out
oo.
.Il
ovey
oubaby
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oomyTi
git
igi
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:okby
e..
Me:
bye
Shet
henhungup,
tal
ki
ngt
ohermademef
eel
bet
ter
.AsIwal
kedbackt
othedi
ningr
oom I
bumpedi
ntoTi
na.
Her
:sorr
ybutcany
oupl
easeshowmet
he
t
oil
et.
.
Me:
okcome.
.
Iwal
kedwi
thhert
othet
oil
et.
.
Me:
ther
e
Her
:t
hanky
ou
Me:
Iknowy
ouar
edat
ingmybr
other
..
Shel
ookedatmeshocked,sowasI
..
Idi
dn'
t
meantosaythatputl
oud.
.
Her
:what
?
Me:
youhear
dme.
.
Isai
dwalkingaway.
.Whydi
dIsayt
hat
..Isat
downregrett
ing.
Mom:
didy
oushowTi
nat
het
oil
et?
Me:
yes.
.
Tinacamebackaf
terawhi l
eandlookedatSam.
Perhapst
ryi
ngtot
ellhi
m Iknow..
orwhatever
buteveni
fshewas..
ther
e'snowayIwi l
lsni
tch
onmyownbr ot
her.
.
Me:
ri
ght
tt
t!
deser
tany
one?
.
LEAH
.
AndonceagainIt riedf
ighti
ngofftheheav i
ness,
thi
sti
mear oundIdi dn'
tfal
lint
odar kness.I
rai
nedback.Icouldhearbeepssounds
ever
ywhere,If
lickeredmyey esacoupl eof
ti
mesbutmyv ersionst
illr
emainedbl ur
redbutI
wasback.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Dr
:howmanyf
inger
sam Ihol
dingnow?
Shewav
edt
wof
inger
sonmyf
ace.
Me:
2
Dr:
good.
.It
hinky
ourversi
onisgood,
doy
ou
rememberwhathappened?
Isti
ll
edforamomentt here,
yesIdo..Heshot
me,eventhoughmyey eswereclosedIdidhear
thetwogunshots.Iwantedtostandupand
helpherbutIwastooweak."Leahplease.
.Dont
giveup,notyet
..
Isti
l
lneedyou..
"
Isti
l
lcoul
dhearherplea,
myeyesf
li
cker
edt
o
theDrasshesof
tlycall
edoutmyname.
.
Me:Idon'
tqui
ter
emember
..Myv
ersi
oni
s
bl
urred.
Dr
:t
hedet
ect
ivewi
l
lcomef
orsomequest
ioni
ng
Inodded
JustthenKrisgotintheroom.Hereyescame
acrossmineandshecoul dn'
thi
det
her eli
ef.
.t
he
j
oyi nhereyes.Shecameandhuggedme, alil
bi
tt ooti
ghtthatIwinced.Sheimmediatel
ylet
mego. .
Her
:i
..Iwaswor
ri
ed.
.You-
Me:
hey
..
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Her
:doct
orhow'
sshe?
Sheaskedi
gnor
ingme.
.
Dr
:sheshoul
dbeoutofher
esoonenough,
her
woundisheal
ingwel
l
.
Her
:ok.
.
Shethentur
nedbackatmewi
pinghert
ear
qui
ckly.
Her
:Iwaswor
ri
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ouok
Her
:yeah.
.soonenoughy
ouwi
l
lbehome.
.
Me:
yeah.
.y
ouhav
ebaggyey
es.
.
Shehadtr
iedtohi
det hem wi
thmakeup,same
waymom does.Iclosedmyeyesti
ghtl
yfight
ing
thet
houghtaway.
.notnowLeah.
.pl
easenot
now.
Her
:youseei
ngt
hings,
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:Iknowwhaty
ouar
edoi
ngbutI
'
m ok.
.Iso
wannagohome
Her
:Iknowt
hef
eel
i
ng.
.
Shewasdr essedabi tfor
mall
y.Aredti
ght
ski
rt,
anudev estthenaseethroughredsi
l
ky
shi
rttuggedin,
redheelsandanudehandbag.
Shelookedallbusinessli
keandsexytobe
honest.
Me:
andt
hen?
thecl
othes?
Shel
ookedather
sel
fthenbackatme.
.
Her
:I
'm wor
king.
.
Me:
wor
king?
Her:
Ifounda.
.Bandi
l
egav
emeaj
obathi
s
company .
.
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
Ihopey
ounotf
ucki
ngi
ntheof
fi
ce
Herf
acef
ell
immedi
atel
y.
.
Me:
what
'
swr
ongnow?
Her
:he'
sinj
ail
Me:
j
ail
?j
ail
forwhat
?
Justt henthedoorswungopen.Ihel dmy
breathashel ookedatme,hehadapl ast
icbag
i
nhand.If eltl
ikegett
ingupandbeat i
ngthe
l
ivingshitsoutofhi m,i
fIcould.
.Iwoul
dstop
l
ov inghim..buttheheartkeepsonbetray
ingme.
Q:
IcameassoonasKr
ist
oldme.
.
Il
ookedatKriswholookeddown,
obv
iousl
yhe
putheratsomecorner.
Ir
emai
nedsi
l
ent
.
Q:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Hesaidtr
ail
inghishandonmyf ace.I
'
mf eel
i
ng
thesamewayIf el
twhenIfoundoutaboutyour
cheati
ngass.
Q:
Ibr
oughty
ouf
ood.
.
Kr
is:
ummmh.
.l
etme.
.gi
vey
ouguy
sspace
Me:
Kri
swho'
she?
Iaskedputt
ingupaconfusedface,
itwasn'tt
he
fi
rstti
me..
Ididi
twhenthepoli
cequestioned
meaboutdadbeatingmom. .
andI..
andI..
-
Me:
doIknowy
ou?
Hel
aughed.
.
Q:
okni
cej
okedol
lface
Me:
doIknowy
ou?
Henoti
cedIwasn'
tj
oki
ng,
evennowKr
ishad
herey
esonme.
Kr
is:
youdontr
ememberhi
m?
Me:
I'
mlost
Q:
wher
e'sherdoct
or?
Kr
is:
herof
fi
ceIt
hink.
.
Q:
I'
m comi
ng.
.
Hewal
kedout
..
Kr
is:
your
eal
l
ydontr
ememberQ?
Sheaskedwi
thhersof
tvoi
ce,
andherey
eswi
de.
Me:Idontneedtoremembermotherf
ucken
asswhores!Idontdot
hatki
ndoffucker
y..
Shest
art
edl
aughi
ng.
.
Her
:ni
cegoi
ng.
.
Me:
shoul
dn'
thebewi
thThat
o?
Her
:Ihaven'
tseenherev
ersi
nceIl
eft
Bl
oemf ont
ein
Me:
goodsoy
ouwer
esay
ing.
.Bandi
l
eisi
njai
l
?
Her
:yes
Me:
forwhat
?
Her
:mur
der
..
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
mur
der
?
Shenodded.
.
Me:
whodi
dheki
l
l?
Her
:i
tsmewhodi
d..
Shewhi
sper
edl
ooki
ngatme.
.
Me:
I'
mlost
Her
:Iki
l
ledDeWay
neand.
.-
Me:
het
ookt
hef
all
?
Shenodded.
.
Her
:I
'm abadper
son.
.Iknowi
t.
.
Shebl
i
nkedawayhert
ear
s.
Her
:and.
.If
eel
deadi
nsi
de
Qui
ckl
yshewi
pedhert
ear
saway
..
Her
:I
'm al
readydeadi
nsi
de.
.i
tsl
i
keI
'
m adead
per
sonwal ki
ng
Me:
Kri
s..
-
Her
:no..
it
sthetr
uth,
andit
'snotgoi
ngaway
unf
ortunat
ely
..I
tsnotgoi
ngtobeok..
Iknowi
t
Me:
you.
.-
Justt
henQwal
kedbackwi
tht
hedoct
or.
.
Q:
qui
tthi
sgameLeah
Me:
ohw?
howabouty
ougett
hef
uckout
!
Qlookedatthedoct
orandKr
iswhot
hen
walkedout
.
Me:
Kri
swai
tup.
.-
Shewasalreadygone,she'
sbeenthr
oughalot
..
I
canseeshest ry
ingsohardtohol
ditbut
..
not
deepdown...Justl
ikemom..
Me:
Idontwantt
otal
ktoy
ou.
.shoul
dn'
tyoube
wi
thThato?
Hi
m:y
ouar
esosel
fi
shLeah
Il
aughedsar
cast
ical
l
y
Me:
thenl
eav
emeal
onewi
thmysel
fi
shness.
.
Go!
Him:
Theypl
ayedyou.
.t
hatsextapeshealways
usei
tagai
nstmeallt
het i
meandI'm notgoi
ng
tol
eti
tworkthi
sti
mear ound.
.
Me:
ohhsoy
ounev
ersl
eptwi
thher
?
Hekeptqui
te.
.
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:Idontknowhowithappened.
.One
momentI'
m drunkt
henextI'
m waki
ngupnaked
wi
thherasi
de..
Me:
ohh?ohhsoy
out
ryi
ngt
otel
lmey
ou.
.got
r
aped?
Henodded.
.
Me:youmustr eal
lythi
nkI
'm st
upid.
.t
hatI'
ma
fool
..l
ikeohhpoorLeahshewi llbel
i
ev emy
everydaylie..
thisisnotanewsongt ome
Quincy .
.Ithoughtwecoul dworkbutwe
can't
..won'tever..
I'
m si
ckandtir
edoft hesame
oldthingev erytimeandtimeagain.
.yousaidi
t
yourself.
.Youcan' tcommit,
soIguesst hi
sisi
t
Hi
m:dol
lfacepl
ease
Me:
no.
.I
'
m done.
.go
Hekneel
eddownbef
oremybed.
.
Him:
IknowImessedup, Iknow.
.I'
mfuckedup
butj
ustthatsi
nce.
.Igotmy..
.mysist
erki
ll
edI
j
ustnever.
.nev
erhadanythi
ngelsetolov
e..
I
knowy outhinkI'
m cold..acoldmonst erandI
wasunt i
lImety ou..
thef i
rstti
mewesl ept
toget
her,probablyyout houghtitwasj usta
fuckbutitwasmor ethant hat
..
pleasest ay
,stay
withmef orever
..Ican'tbeartolosesomeoneI
l
ov eagain.
.Idontwantt ogobackt otheper son
Iwas..
Ilovebeinginy ourar ms..
Hest
oodup.
.
Hi
m:andIwantt
obeinthem now.
.Pl
easegi
ve
meonemorechance.
.
Hecameandhuggedme.
.
Hi
m:onel
astt
ime
Me:
onel
astt
ime.
.
Heki
ssedme.
..
Ipul
l
edputaf
terawhi
l
eandwi
pedhi
stear
s
away.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ouQbutifyoubreakmyhear
tone
mor
eti
me..
it
'sov
er.
.wedone
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Me:
whathappenedwi
thKr
is?
Hi
m:shemanagedt
oki
l
ltheenemyandAndi
l
e
t
ookcareofi
t
Me:
him bei
ngi
njai
li
saf
fect
ingher
Him:
hewill
beoutsoon.
.she'
sgothi
m wr
apped
herl
i
lfi
nger
Me:
i
fonl
ysheknew.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ady
ouar
est
il
lwi
thme.
.
Me:
whathappenedt
oyoursi
ster
?
Hi
m:deal
gonewr
ong.
.how'
syourwound?
Me:
thedoct
orsai
dit
sheal
i
ngpr
ett
ywel
l
..
Hehandmemyphone..Iswi
tchedi
ton,l
oadsof
messagescamei
nfr
om dad.
.mom..Aunt
Susan.
.Br
ad.
.
Fi
rstt
hingIdi
dwast
ocal
lMom.
Sheanswer
edal
mosti
mmedi
atel
y.
.
Her
:ohmyGod.
.af
teramont
hLeah?
Me:
mom cal
m down.
.
Her:
cal
m down?doyouwanttokil
lme? how
coul
dyougoforaholi
dayinChina?wit
hout
l
etti
ngusknow.
.ifi
twasn'
tforKri
s..
God!
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Her
:yourf
atheri
sn'
thappy
Me:
remi
ndmewhyy
ouar
est
il
lwi
thhi
m?
Her
:wat
chy
ourmout
hyoungLady
!
Me:
may
beIwentt
oChi
naf
orsomespace
Her:
Leah.
.I
'
m her
ebecauseIwantt
hebestf
or
you
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Her
:youshoul
dbe.
.howwasChi
na?
Me:
ref
reshi
ng
Her
:I
'm gl
adyouok.
.ummhapat
ienti
sher
e,l
et
megetgoing
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Her
:Il
ovey
oumor
ebaby
..
Thenshehungup,
Ialmostthrewmyphone
agai
nstt
hewalli
nfrust
rat
ion.Whywon'
tshe
l
eave?
.
KRI
S
.
Gett
ingtoworkItext
edLeahthatIwoul
dsee
herl
ater
.Igoti
nsidetheoff
icebutNonowasn'
t
i
n.Av et
hengotin,
IsatdownasIfacedher
..
Her
:hi
Me:
hi
Her
:I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ryKr
isf
orwhatIdi
dyest
erday
..
Me:
wat
erundert
hebr
idge
Her
:If
eel
soashamedr
ightnow.
.
Ikeptqui
te.
.
Her
:ummhNonowentt
oaear
lymor
ning
meeti
ng
Me:
ok
Her
:cof
fee?
Me:
noI
'
m goodt
hanky
ou.
.
Itr
iedtosuppressthenoisemyt
ummymade
butIfai
led.Av
el aughed.
.
Her
:t
her
ear
emuf
fi
nsatt
hatr
est
aur
ant
..
Me:
l
etmehur
ryt
her
e..
Her
:youdot
hat
..
Igr
abbedmybagandrushedt ot
her
estaur
ant
.
AsIwait
edformyor
der,Ihear
dsomeonecl
ear
hi
sthr
oatbehi
ndme.Iturned.
.
Me:
arey
oust
alki
ngmenow?
Hi
m:coi
nci
dence.
.It
oldy
ouIdontst
alk
Me:
Khanyacanyoupl
easest
ayawayf
rom me.
.
I
twoul
dreal
lygetmessy
Hi
m:woul
dit
?
Me:
youwoul
dnev
erbel
i
evei
fIt
ell
youbutt
rust
me.
.
IsaidasIt ookmyor derandwal kedout .Even
thoughIcoul dn'tseeanyoneIknowBandi l
e
waskeepi ngt absonme.Wal kingbackt othe
offi
ce,Isatdownandat ewhileIwor kedon
somef il
e.Af ewmi nut
esaf t
erlunchIwal ked
outoftheboar droom wherethecompanywas
holdi
ngameet i
ng.Iwasexhaust ed,sitt
ing
downf or2hrsi nonemeet ingisshit.Idroveto
thehospital.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Me:
youcanst
il
ldoI
VFj
ustl
i
ket
hedoct
orsai
d
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
wantt
oeatatar
est
aur
ant
?
Iaskedheraswedrov
ehome,Shehadj
ust
gott
endischar
gedaweekl
ater
.
Her
:nah.
.Iwantt
osl
eeponmybed
Me:
ok.
.Qsay
sthecasewi
l
lbedr
opped
Her
:whocamewi
tht
he"
Igothi
j
acked"st
ory
?
Me:Idon'
tknow..
butmusthav
ebeen
Bandil
e,
I'
m gladweusedi
tnowthecopswi
l
lbe
outofourli
ves
Her
:younev
erseem t
otal
kabouthi
mlat
ely
..
Me:
whatshoul
dIsay
?
Her
:Idontknow.
.hel
ovesy
ou
Me:t
henwhywon'thel
etmeseehim.
.i
tsbeena
monthandweekLeah.
.nocommuni
cat
ionno
not
hing!
Her
:he'
str
yingt
okeepy
ousaf
e
Me:f
uckthat
!may
beIshoul
djustl
ookf
orhi
m
myself
..
Her
:youwon'
tfi
ndhi
myouknowi
t
Me:yeah.
.he'sasel
fishmotherf
ucker!Onl
y
caresabouthimselfandnothi
ngelse,somuch
foramarriagetal
ker
Her
:hewast
alki
ngmar
ri
age?
Inodded.
.
Idr
ovet
hecari
nthegar
age.
Me:
Iwi
shhecoul
dst
opal
lthi
s..
ithur
ts
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:youhav
egai
nedwei
ght
..
Me:
stopbei
ngcr
azy
Her
:I
'mt
ell
i
ngy
ou.
.y
oul
ookt
hick
Me:
stopi
t
Her
:I
'mt
ell
i
ngy
ou.
.l
et'
sgeti
nsi
de.
Sl
owlywewal
kedt
ot hefl
at.Themomentwe
goti
nsi
de,
Imadeherseatdown.
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantf
ordi
nner
?
Her
:macar
oni
cheese
Me:youknowIdontl
i
kecheese.
.howabout
Lasagna?
Shel
ookedatme.
.
Her
:youl
i
kemacar
oni
cheeseKr
is
Me:
noIdon'
t.
.Ithasabadt
ast
eandsmel
l
..
Her:
youonlycomplainedabouti
tsaf
tert
ast
e
nothowitsmeltortasted
Me:
what
'
sthebi
gdeal
?
Her:
yousnapalott
hisdays.
.r
emi
ndsmeofmy
auntwhenshewaspregnant
..
Me:
o-k
Her
:di
dyougof
ory
ourshot
?
Me:myshot
?..
ohf
uck.
.ohGod!
myshot
..
.ohh
noo.
.Oh.
.
Her
:r
elax.
.br
eat
h..
Andt
hat
'swheni
tregi
ster
ed.
.
Me:
myperiods.
.Imissedt
hem..
thevomit
ing.
.I
t
hought
..
migrai
nes.
.LeahI
'm pr
egnant
Her
:br
eat
h..
Shest
oodupsl
owl
yandcamet
owar
dsme.
.
Her
:br
eat
h..
let
'sf
igur
ethi
soutsl
owl
y.
.
Me:Ifor
gottheshotwi
thev
eryt
hingt
hatwas
happeni
ng..I
tsl
ippedmymind.
.
Ir
ubbedmyt
ummy
..
Me:
whathav
eIdoneohGod!
.
~2MONTHSLATER~
.
Iputonasummerj acketontopofmyf l
ared
dress,
itwasabitbetterl
ikethis,
thet
ummy
wasn'tthatmuchvisi
blelikethat
.Isatdownas
Iwipedmyt ear
s.
Me:
wewi l
lgetthrought
hisdayal
sol
i
kewedi
d
t
heprev
iousrightbaby.
.
Isai
dr ubbingmyt ummy .Thispregnancylat
ely
hasbeent heonlythingIwasf ocussi
ngonwel l
expectf r
om school .Ihaven'
ttol
dany oneat
homey et,
I'
m scared.Itookmysl i
ngbagand
walkedoutofmyr oom, Leahwasi nthekit
chen
cooking.Shehadr ecov eredwell,
andshehas
beenmypi ll
erofsuppor teversi
nceIfoundout.
Ihavebeent r
y i
ngt ohidet hi
spregnancyfr
om
Bandile.
.Ican'tputhimi nmor estr
esswit
ha
babyont opofot herthings.Isatonthekit
chen
stool
.
Leah:
mor
ning
Me:
hey
..
.
Leah:
how'
sBandi
l
ejuni
ordoi
ngi
nther
e?
Me:
wel
lok.
.
Leah:
Qiscomi
ng.
.
Qnoti
cedIwaspr
egnantbutIl
i
ter
all
yhadt
o
beghi
m nott
otel
lhi
sfri
end.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Q:
shi
t!Bandi
l
eneedst
oknow.
.
Me:
nopl
ease.
.
Leah:
Qbabepl
ease
Q:heneedstoknowhe'sgonnabesomeone's
fatherandwhenhef
indsoutyouarekeepi
ng
t
hisf r
om hi
m..y
ouwon'tl
ikeHisr
eacti
on
Me:
Iwi
l
ltel
lhi
m..
justnotnowpl
ease
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Me:
ok
Her
:ummmht
ake
Shesai
dhandi
ngmebr
eakf
ast
..
Her
:how'
syourdayt
oday
?
Me:
Ihav
elessonst
hroughout
..
Her
:ok.
.
Iate,
midwayt
herewasaknockonthedoor
.
Leahstoodupandwentt
ogetit
,i
twasQ.
Q:
hel
l
o
Leah:
hey
Me:
Q
Q:
ummmhKr
is.
..
Het
ookouthi
sphoneasi
twasr
ingi
ng.
Hewal
kedt
owar
dsme.
.
Hi
m:i
tsBandi
l
e
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
what
?
Heanswer
edt
hephone.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.ok
Hehandmet hephone,
myheartwasl
i
ter
all
y
beat
inghar
dagainstmychest
.
Me:
h-hel
l
o?
Hi
m:hey
Hest
il
lsoundedt
hesame.
..
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
m..
I'
m goody
ou?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.i
sev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
yeahev
ery
thi
ngi
s..Fi
ne
Hi
m:any
thi
ngnew?
Me:
no.
.not
hingnew
Hekeptqui
tef
orawhi
l
e.
Hi
m:ok
Me:
Imi
ssy
ou
Hi
m:Imi
ssy
out
oo
Me:
whenar
eyoucomi
ngout
?
Hi
m:soon.
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Het
henhungup,
Ishutmyey
esasIr
emov
ed
t
hephonef
rom myear.
Leahhuggedme.
.
Leah:
doesheknow?
Q:
no
Ist
oodup,
fi
ghti
ngawaymyt ears.Hedoesn'
t
havet
oknow..
notyetatl
east
,notnow..
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t51
KRI
S
.
.
Ther estdayj usttookadi ff
erentturnaf t
erI
spokewi t
hBandi le.Anotherpartofmef eltl
ikeI
shouldhav etol
dhi m but..
anotherdidn'twantto
stresshim ev enmor e..Orwhati fhedoesn' t
wantki ds?Thenwhat ?Onmywaybackhome
from school Itookadi ff
erentturnandwentt o
hishouse. .Thehousewhi chholdsmostofour
memor i
es.Igoti nside,i
twascl ean..
I'
m sur e
Mma' Ny arahav ebeencl eani
ng.Iwal kedt ohis
room, hisscentst il
lwasf i
ll
edint heroom.I
wentt hroughhi sthingsforawhi leuntilIcame
acrossoneofhi sshi r
tsthatIusuallywor e
whenIwashere.
.hedi
dn'
tli
kemypj
'
ssohe
al
waysdressedmeintheshi
rt
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Him:
Iwantt
obeabl
etofeel
youwhenIwant
andt
hosePJ'
smakesi
thard
Me:
butIl
ovet
hem
Hi
m:andIdontsopl
ease
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Iwor
etheshi
rt
,itwasstil
labi
tloosebutt
he
bumpwasabitvisi
ble.
Il
ayont hebedjustst
ressingmymi nd.I
openedmyey esasmyphoner ang,mymind
wasalreadyr
acingwheni tallcli
ckedback.I
wasinBandil
eshouse.Ireachedf ormyphone
besi
desmeandanswer ed,itwasLeah.
Her:
whereonearthar
eyou?Kri
sitsl
ate,
i
tsnot
saf
eforpregnantwomantoberoamingaround.
.
Me:
I'
m ok
Her
:wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
Iwentt
oAndi
l
eshouse.
.-
Myspeechgotcutof
fbynoiseIhear
d
downst
air
sbutitwasbar
elyaudi
ble.
Her
:Kr
is.
.y
oust
il
lther
e?
Me:
yeah.
.sor
ryaboutt
hat
..
thought
..I
'
m saf
e
Her
:pl
easecomehome
Me:
ok.
.
Ithenhungup,t
henoiser epeatedagain.
.abit
l
ouderthatIevenpanicked.SlowlyIwalkedout
ofthebedroom t
hendescendeddownt hestair
s
holdi
ngascissor.Myey esmetMma' Nyara'
s
eyesasIgottothelaststair.ForawhilethereI
wonderedwhyshewasher eatnightormay be
Bandil
esenther.
.hashebeencommuni cati
ng
withher?
Her
:Kr
is!
Sheal
sol
ookedsur
pri
sedt
oseeme.
.
Me:
Mma'
Nyar
a..
ummhhowar
eyou?
Her:
I'
mfine.
..
Ivyaskedmet
ogett
hehousei
n
or
dershe'scoming.
Inoddedwithaf
rozenmi
nd,
shecan'
tseeme
pregnant
..
Me:
wel
lIbet
tergetgoi
ng
Her
:ohhok
Iwal
kedbackt
ohi sr
oom andqui
ckl
ychanged
i
ntomyclot
hesthenwal
kedbackdownstai
rs.
Mma'
Nyar
a:Kr
is!
Shecal
l
edasIr
eachedf
ort
hedoor
.
Me:
yes
Her
:goodby
e
Me:ohmyGodI
'
m sosor
ry,
I
'mj
ust
..
Rushi
ng
home.
Her
:Icansee
Shet
hensmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:congr
atul
ati
ons
Ilookedatherper
plexedt
henshepoi
ntedmy
tummy .
Me:
ohw.
.t
hanky
ou
Her
:t
akecar
eofy
our
sel
f
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
.okby
e
Isai
dal
readywalki
ngout
,justbyt
hedoorI
bumpedint
oIvyandEnhl
e.
I
vy:
Kri
s!
Shehuggedme,
thenaf
tert
hatEnhl
edi
d.
I
vy:
am Iseei
ngt
hisr
ightor
..
.
Enhl
egi
ggl
edcheer
ful
l
y..
I
vy:
GodIt
hanky
ou!
Enhl
e:i
can'
tbel
i
evei
tmom.
.
I
vywasev
encr
yingnow.
.
Iv
ythenpl
acedherhandonmyt
ummyandI
cl
osedmyeyes,
nodoubtshewi
l
ltel
lherson.
.
SAM
.
Isatinmyoffice,t
esti
ngitforthef
irstti
me.I
hadjustgotajoborratherdadhadf ixedme
one.AsIrockedmy selfbackandforthmymi nd
sl
ippedint
oy ester
day'
sconv er
sati
onwi thTi
na
whenwewer ei nthebathtub.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Her:Idi
dn'tmeanto.
.Ij
ust-
myfri
endalsowas
hurtbyhim andIneverr
eall
ygotovermy
fat
her '
sdeath
Me:
heki
l
ledhi
m?
Her
:mom say
she'
smom di
d..
Me:
soyouwant edtomakeyourcousi
npayf
or
t
heaccusat
ionsthaty
ourmotherthr
ewathi
s
mot
her.
.
Her
:sheki
l
ledhi
m!
Icoul
dsenseshewasget
ti
ngangr
y.
Her:
andhealsohurtmyf
ri
end.
.Andnowal
lofa
suddenshesmissi
ng
Me:
soy
ouar
etr
yingt
osayheki
l
ledher
?
Her:
he'
samurder
erjustt
hatheal
waysget
s
awaywit
hit
..
butr
ightnowhe'
sinj
ail
Me:
howdi
dyouwanthi
mtopay
?
Her
:he'
sgi
rl
fr
iendi
shi
swor
ld.
.
Me:
ohh
Her
:butIwasagai
nsti
t.
.Ihear
dShesani
ce
per
son
Me:
who'
sthegi
rl
fr
iend?
Her
:Kr
ist
in.
.Kr
ist
inMacv
erdana.
.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Mywholebodyjustfr
ozeasIt houghtofit,
she
wantst
ohurtmyl i
tt
lesist
er.Allmylif
emy
si
bli
ngshavealwayscomef ir
st,samef at
heror
not
.Andforthefi
rstti
meIact uall
yfound
Bandil
enotguil
tyt hist
imearound.Justthen
myphonest ar
tedr ingi
ng,shewast heone,
Iso
baddidn'
twantt oanswerbutIhadt omake
sureshedoesn'tthinkIwouldletherhur
tmy
famil
y.
.Iwouldkillherinseconds.
Me:
yeah?
Her:
ummhbabewest
il
lupf
ort
hatl
ateni
ght
pi
cnicr
ight
?
Me:
I'
m notsur
e
Shekeptqui
tef
orawhi
l
e..
Her
:what
'swr
ongSam?
Me:
whatpossi
blycoul
dbewr
ong?
Her:
eversi
ncey
est
erday
..Youj
ustbeenact
ing
st
range
Me:
hav
eInow?
Her
:Iwi
l
lseey
oul
ater
Me:
yeah
Her
:Il
ovey
ou.
.
Ihungupnotr
epl
yi
ng.
.
Igotupfr
om mychai randwalkedaroundt
he
hospit
alt
ojustfamil
iari
semyselfwit
hthe
envi
ronment.Iwasstarti
ngof
fici
all
ytomorr
ow.
Aft
erabitofroamingaroundIwalkedtomycar
di
ali
ngMike'snumber .
Hi
m:dawg!
Me:
mani
gga.
.
Hi
m:What
'spoppi
ng?
Me:
not
hing.
.Justhear
dBandi
l
eisar
rest
ed
Hi
m:y
eah
Me:
yeahwhat
?yeahi
t'
str
ue?
Hi
m:It
houghtKr
ist
oldy
ou
Me:
Idontknowshi
tbr
a..
when?
Hi
m:3t
o4mont
hsnow,
notr
eal
l
ysur
e
Me:
forwhatexact
ly?
Hi
m:r
umourhasi
tonmur
der
..
Il
aughed
Me:Bandi
le?Getarrestedformurder?t
hats
shi
t..
he'
sshit
,andshitli
kehim neverget
arr
estedfort
hatlong,especi
all
yformurder.
.
Justmurder,
ISmellaf i
sh
Him:Idi
dtoo.
.hemustbecoveri
ngforsomeone
butwho?andwhywoul dheputalotofthi
ngs
ontheli
neforthatper
son.
.Somethingdoesn'
t
addup
Me:IhatethatguybutIcantell
helov
esmy
sist
er.
.whywouldhejustleaveher
?Iwil
lhav
e
togothereandf i
ndout
Him:
Idontthinkt
hat
sar eal
l
ygreati
dea
Sam.
.I
'm sureQhasitcover
ed
Me:Kri
s?shemustbebreaki
ng.
.Thewayshe
l
ovesthatguyIswearhebewit
chedher
becausebra.
.can'
tev
enfi
ndthewords
Him:yeahbutI'
m sureshesdoi
ngok,she
doesn'tneedherbrot
herhover
ingonher
busi
ness.
.I'
mtalki
ngfr
om exper
ience.
.Idi
dthe
samewithLati
sher
..
Me:
how'
shert
hough?
Him:
havingasi
sterl
iket
hat
..
alway
suponmy
busi
nessbrai
tsshit
Me:
youarebett
er..
Ihaveaconni
ving
mani
pulat
ingsi
ster
...Youneedt
ospendaday
wi
thAlex
Hel
aughed
Him:sowhathav
eyoubeenupt
o?st
il
lfucki
ng
yourcousi
n?
Me:
shesf
uckedup..
andIswearifshemesses
wi
thmeandmyf amil
y.
.Iwil
lki
ll
her
Hi
m:i
twoul
dn'
tbet
hef
ir
stt
ime
Me:
she'
ssi
ck.
.Lookl
etmegetgoi
ng.
.I
'
m
meet
ingmydad
Hi
m:ok..
wil
ltal
k,
andohhthecrewwantst
o
meetup.
.youhavekeptl
owprofi
lel
ongenough
Me:
yeah.
.i
tst
imewhen?
Hi
m:i
ntur
key
..It
hinkwemi
ghtt
akeat
ri
pto
Br
azi
l
..
Me:nowwetal
ki
ng.
.Ihav
ebeenoutoft
he
gameforl
ong
Him:
yeah.
.wehaveourguyi
nBr
azi
l
..
hewon'
t
knowwhathithi
m
Il
aughed
Me:
howmuchar
ewet
alki
ng?
.
Idroveinsidemydad' sbigyard.Igotof fthecar
assoonasIpar kedthengoti nsidewithout
knocking.Getti
nginsideIwaswel comedby
somegi rli
nshor t
sandandadeni m shir
t,
purpl
e
brai
ds..Shelookedatmeconf usedforawhi l
e
butthenflushedasmi l
eblushing.
Her
:hi
..
Me:
hey
Her:
ummhy oumustbehereforLloydbuthe
ai
n'
ther
e..
youcanwaitup.
.wantjuice?
Bef
oreIcoul
dresponddadcamei
n..
Him:ohhSam,looksli
key ouhaveal
readymet
yoursmallsi
sterandLinda,t
hisi
stheSam
Her
:Sam mybr
other
?
Dad:
yeah.
.andSam t
hatBel
i
nda
Il
ookedather,
shesti
l
lcoul
dn'
tbel
ievei
t
becausehermouthwassti
l
lwideopeni
nshock.
Dad:
let
'sgoSam..Iwanty
out
omeetaf
ew
busi
nessassoci
ates.
.
Me:
youknowI
'
m notaf
anr
ight
?
Dad:
youar emyheir,
someonewhowi l
ltackl
e
onbusinessifIdi
eorwhenIret
ir
e.Sam you
needfamili
ari
zeyour
sel
fwit
hallthi
sthi
ngs
"
Ohhpl
anni
ngf
ort
hef
utur
enowai
n'
twe?
"
Avoi
cesaidmakingustur
nandi
twasAgatha,
if
shewasn'
tdad'
swifeIwoul
dhav
elongsenther
i
ncoma.Shewasn'tal
onethough,
shehadTi
na
besi
desherwho'
seyespi
ssedin
mine,
sear
chi
ngformysoul
.
Dad:
whywon'
tI?
Agat
ha:
andLl
oyd?
Dad:
Il
oveal
lmyki
dsAgat
ha!
makepeacewi
th
i
t
Agat
ha:
Tinababyt
aket
his.
.
Shesai
dhandingTinasomeplast
icbagsthen
Agat
hawalkedout.Il
ookedbackatdad.
.
Me:
ok
Dad:
good.
.ummhLindawewi
l
ldi
scusst
hecar
whenIgetback.
.
Shewasstarr
ingatme,
notbli
nki
ng.Myeyes
gott
oTina'
swhowasl ooki
ngatLinda,
not
pl
easedIcoul
dt el
l
..
Dad:
hey
!
Li
ndabl
i
nkedacoupl
eoft
imesbef
oref
inal
l
y
respondi
ngt
oDad.Iwasn'
tl
ist
eni
ngbutmy
eyeswereonTi
nawhowaswal ki
ngaway
.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
othebat
hroom
Isai
dwal ki
ngawaybutf ol
lowedTi
natoher
room.Shewassi t
ti
ngont hebed,
soIgoti
nside
andlockedthedoor.Shestoodbef
oreme..
Her
:ar
eweokSam?
Me:
yeah.
.100%
Her
:good.
.
Shekissedme,hungr
il
y,Iki
ssedherbackt
hen
suddenlypul
l
edputwithmyhandonherneck.
Shewasst ar
tl
ed.
Me:
Kri
s..
Bandi
l
esgi
rl
fr
iendi
smysi
ster
..
Shebl
i
nkedacoupl
eoft
imes.
.
Her
:Idi
dn'tknow.
.y
ouknowIwoul
dn'
thur
tyour
f
amilyoranyonecl
osetoy
ou.
.i
-
Me:youwoul
dn'
tevendar
ebecauseIwi
llmake
sur
ey oumeety
ourdadwher
everheis.
.Iwoul
d
ki
lly
oubabeandmakesur
enobodyf
indsy
our
deadbody
Isaidti
ght
eni
ngmygri
ponherneckt hatshe
start
edgaspi
ngf
orai
rbutIsqueezedherneck
hard.
Me:
onmyf amil
yIwil
lki
l
lyou,
toget
herwi
thy
our
mot
herunderst
and?
Shenoddedf
ast
..
Me:I'
m notbl
uffi
ng,Iwil
lbur
ryyoual
iveHer
eyeshadwidenedup.Ithrewheronthe
bed,t
henshestartedgaspi
ngcoughi
ngasshe
rubbedherneck.
.
Me:sot
hepi
cni
c?Whatdoy
out
hinkIshoul
d
buy
?
.
LEAH
.
Me:
so?
Her
:she'
scomi
ng
Me:
comi
ngher
e?
Her
:i
tsherson'
spr
egnancyaf
teral
l
..
Me:y
oushouldjusttell
him.
.yousaidy out
hink
hehaspeopl
efollowingyouaround..Thenwhy
doyoupossi
blythinkhedoesn'tknow?
Her:
whatwi
ll
say?Thatohhhey.
.If
orgott
otake
myshotandI'
m pr
egnant
..Hehasenoughto
dealwi
th
Me:enough?Thereisachil
dinvolved
Kri
s..
nothi
ngismor ei
mpor t
antthanthi
s
baby.
.i
tsbeen2weekssi nceyousawhismom
andsist
er.
.Don'tyout
hinkheknowsbynow?
Shekeptqui t
e,maybeIwasbeingirr
ational
but
Iknowpr obablyQtol
dhim..t
heyarereall
yti
ght
andnodoubtheal readyknows.Apartofmei s
actual
l
ygl adshespregnant
,atl
eastnowshe
hasar easonnottodepressher
selforhurt
hersel
f.
Me:andyourmom needst
oknow,
sooneror
l
aterit
sgoingt
ocomeout
Myphonet
henr
angi
twasQ.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:west
il
lon?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcomepi
cky
ouup.
.
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Iwanty
out
omeetmyf
olks
Me:
real
l
y?
Hi
m:y
eahandi
tshoul
dhappenbef
oreIf
lyout
..
Me:
sti
l
lgoi
ngt
oBr
azi
l
?
Hi
m:y
eah..
justaweekbutIwanty
out
omeet
myGrandmother
Me:ohhIthoughtwewer
emeet
ingy
our
par
ents.
.
Qnev
ert
alksabouthi
sfami
l
ythatmuch,
ever
sincehe'
soldersi
sterpassedawayi
tseems
l
iketheonlyfamil
ythatconsider
shi
mishis
grannyandhisyoungersist
er.
Hi
m:nah.
.canwedri
vedownt
her
e
t
omorr
ow? I
'
vecal
l
edher
Me:
ummhi
fthat
swhaty
ouwant
..
whynot
?
Him:
thankyoubaby
..Youdontknowhowhappy
Iam now.
.ummhGoddol l
face.
.
Ismi
led,
Il
ovedhim happynotsadorj
ustnumb.
Someti
mesIjustdontunder
stand.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:y
eah.
.seey
oul
ater
Me:
bye
Ihangupandt
urnedmyat
tent
ionbackt
oKr
is.
.
Her
:outwi
thi
tal
ready
..
Me:
hewant
smet
omeethi
sfami
l
y..
Her
:ohhmyGod.
.f
inal
l
y..
Shest
oodupandhuggedme.
.
Me:
yeah.
.he'
str
ying
Her
:Icansee.
.IswearIcanhearweddi
ngbel
l
s
Me:notformebuty
oumal ov
e!AnywayImi
ght
notsleepint
oni
ght,wi
l
lyoubefi
ne?
Her
:yeah.
.
Imaynotbesur eaboutanythi
ngelsebutI'
m
pr
ettysurethatBandi
l
ewi l
lwif
eherei t
her
way,soonerorl
ater
.ThewayQexpl ainshow
Kri
sgothi m wr
appedaroundherli
lfi
ngersays
alotorhowmuchheal wayssacr
if
iceforher.
Me:
sowhatt
imei
smot
her
-I
n-Lawl
andi
ng?
Shest
oodup.
Her:
anyt
imesoon,
l
emmegoshower..Cannotbe
l
ookingl
ikeanewbor
nel
ephantandsmelli
ng
l
ikeonetoo.
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngoutl
eav
ingmelaughi
ng.I
st
oodupandwal
kedt
otheki
tchen,
itwas
Sundayar
ound11a.
m.
Iwenttot
heki
tchenandst
art
edpr
epar
ing
l
unch..
Afewmi nuteslat
ert
herewasaknockont he
door,
probablyi
twasBandil
esmot herbutnoit
wasn't
..
itwasthesnobbi
shlil
bit
chQcal ls
Si
ster.
Me:
Kim?
Her:
QsaysIshoul
dst
ickar
oundwi
thy
ouand
yourf
ri
end.
.Hewentsomewher
e
Iopenedthedoorwideforhersoshegetsin,
I
walkedbehindassheanaly
sedtheplace.I
walkedtothekit
chentogetmyphone...
Ki
m:ni
cehousey
ouguy
shav
e
Me:
ohwhy
?Thanks.
.
Ki
m:wher
e'sy
ourf
ri
end?
Takeherwher
eyouseeher
..
myi
nnersel
f
scr
eamed..
Itookmyphoneandi
ndeedt
her
ewasat
ext
fr
om Q.
"Pl
easebaby
sitki
ddof
orme,
thanksi
nadv
ance.
.
Seeyah"
Me:
she'
sinherr
oom.
.
It
ext
edQback.
.
"
Youknowshedoesn'
tl
ikeme,
whyl
eav
eher
wi
thme?
P.
SIdontl
i
kehert
oo"
Ki
m: ok.
.ummhIwi l
lmakemy
selfcomfor
tabl
e
onthetv,canIpl
easehav
eor
angejui
ce
Me:
i
nthef
ri
dge
Ki
m: i
ncasey oudon'tr
eali
ze,i
tski
ndof
di
srespectf
ulfort
heguestt oberoaming
ar
oundt ouchi
ngthingstheyarenotf
amili
ar
wi
th
Me:
asyourhostIgi
vey
out
heper
missi
ont
o
r
oam ar
ound.
.
Ki
m:i
fmom seesy
ou.
.shewoul
dn'
tl
ikey
ou
Me:sheain'
tmyboy f
riend,
si
sterorshi
ttomeso
Idontexpecthert
olikeme
Ki
m:wher
edi
dyoust
eal
thatl
i
nef
rom?
Me:Ithoughtt
hatwasyourst
yle.
.Dontconf
use
yoursel
fwithmehun.
..
youdonthaveclass.
.
Justt
henKrisappear
edi
nar eddress,
bare
backwhi
chhuggedherbodywell.
.shesti
l
l
l
ookedbeauti
fulf
orsomeonewho'salmostfour
monthspr
egnant.Thedr
esswasjustperfect
wit
hredblockheel
s.
Kr
is:
and?
Me:It
hinkI
'
mtur
ningLesbo.
.y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
babe
Shesmi
l
edr
eveal
i
ngherdi
mpl
es.
Ki
m:hi
,
I'
m Ki
m..
Q'ssi
ster
..YoumustbeKr
is.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
eswi
fe
Ki
mfl
ushed,
sav
esy
our
ightwhor
e!
Ki
m:y
ouar
ereal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Kr
issmi
l
ed.
.
Kr
is:
thanky
ouKi
m..
Me:It
houghtyouguy
swer
egoi
ngt
ohang
ar
oundhere?
Kri
s:
shej
ustt
extmethatshespi
cki
ngme
up.
.wear
egoi
ngtosomer est
aur
ant
Me:
ohw.
.y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
Shesmi
l
ed
Kr
is:
ok.
.l
etmet
akemypace.
.ni
cemeet
ingy
ou
Ki
m
Ki
m:l
i
kewi
se
Kr
iswal
kedout
..
Ki
m:she'
sreal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Me:
andnoti
nyourl
eague.
.
Ki
m:mxm.
.sot
hej
uice?
Me:
youst
il
lst
andi
ngt
her
e?
Shecl i
ckedhert oungeasshewal kedout ,
Idont
hav eapr oblem wi t
hkim ort hef actthatshes
toospoi l
ed..Butwhati rr
itatesmei sthatshe
thinksever y
onei shermai d..Whatki ndofagi rl
raisedwi t
ht wopar entsdoesn' tev enknowhow
tocookasi mpl eegg?Ionceof f
er edtot each
herbutt hen..she'stoospecial tobedoi ngthat
kindofshi tbecauseohhhermani curewi l
lget
ruined.Icont i
nuedcooki ng,i
tseemedl i
kei twi
ll
beonl ymeandhert hisafternoonandIknow
not hi
nggoodwi llcomeoutoft hi s..Atextthen
camei nf rom Q..
"Pleasedontki
ll
eachot her.
.Youbothare
specialt
omeandnot hingwill
makemehappy
thanseeingy'
allgetalong,
Ital
kedt
oKi m.
.dont
bet oohardonher,shesthatwaybecauseof
howshewasr ai
sed"
IputthephoneawayasIt ookadeepbr
eathi
n..
Iwalkedtothesi
tti
ngroom andshewasbusy
onherphonewhilsthol
dingther
emote.
.
Me:
hey
..
ummhwannagoshoppi
ng?
Shel
ookedatmef
orawhi
l
ebef
orebur
sti
ngi
n
l
aught
er.
.
Her
:ok.
.ni
cej
oke
Me:wecangof orhookey.
.Qsaysyoupl
ay
hookeyatschool
..Iknowabit.
.her
eandther
e..
Wecan..ummhgoy ouknow
Shel
ookedatmeagai
n..
Her
:It
houghty
ouhat
eme.
.
Me:
no.
.Idon'
t.
.Justy
ourat
ti
tudest
inks
Her
:sodoesy
our
s
It
ookadeepbr
eat
htr
yingt
ocont
rol
mymout
h..
Me:
so?
whatt
oyousay
?shoppi
ngandhookey
?
Wewer eIint
erruptedbyasoftknockont he
door,
Iwalkedtothedoor..Averybeauti
ful
womanst oodatt hedoor
,per
fectsmile.
.even
hersenseofstylewasjustfl
ames.Shesmi l
ed
bri
ghtl
y..
Me:
goodmor
ning
Her
:morni
ngDar
li
ng,
Ibel
ieveKr
ist
in
Macver
danar
esi
desher
e..
Me:
yes,
pleasecomei
n..
I
tdidn'ttakememucht i
met oreal
izeitwas
Bandilesmom..hav
ingamom l i
kethis
though..
shewouldbelookingl
ikeyoursi st
eri
n
thestreet,
shewasinaverybeauti
fulblue
Afri
canpr i
ntdr
essthathuggedhercurv es
perfectl
y..
Shegoti
nsi
desmi
l
ingasev
er.
Ki
m:mor
ningMa
Her
:Ki
m..
howar
eyou?
longt
ime.
.
Ki
m:y
eah.
.I
'
mfi
ne
Me:
pleasesi
t,Kr
isi
s-
Kr
ist
henwal
kedi
n.
Kr
is:
Ma.
.
Shesai
dast
heyhuggedeachot
her
.Itwas
actual
l
yfunnyhowt heyjustcl
i
ckedbutthen
thi
sisKri
sti
n..Youcouldjustf
eelherwarm
heartf
rom f
ar.
Kr
is:
ummhMa, t
hisi
smyf
ri
end,
Leah,
andt
hat
s
Ki
m..Q'
ssi
ster
..
Her
:ni
cemeet
ingy
ourgi
rl
s,
arey
our
eady
?
Kr
is:
yes,
Iwi
l
lseey
out
hen.
.
Shewal
kedoutwi
thBandi
l
esmom behi
ndher
..
Bandi
l
esmom:
youl
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.-
Thenoutt
heywer
egone.
.
Il
ookedatKi
m whowassmi
l
ing.
.
Me:
andt
hen?
Kim:y
ourfri
endi
spr
ett
y..
wecangof
or
shopping.
.
Me:
ohGr
eat
!l
etmef
ini
shup.
.
Isai
dwalki
ngtot
hekitchen,atl
easti
fsheact
s
l
ikehuman.
.Imi
ghtt
olerateher.
.
.
KRI
S
.
Wesatdowninsomefancyr
est
aur
antona
t
abl
eshehadbooked.Await
ert
hen
i
mmediatel
ycame.
Wai
ter
:Goodaf
ter
noon,
we.
.-
I
vy:
j
ustamomentpl
ease.
.
Thewait
erthenexcusedhimsel
f,shesmil
edat
me.Ij
ustsatther
eanxiousl
ywait
ingforwhat
shewantsustotal
kabout.
I
vy:
howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
mfi
ney
ou?
I
vy:
I'
m good.
.Pr
egnancysui
tsy
ou
Ismi
l
ed
I
vy:
yourmot
herdoesn'
tknowdoesshe?
Il
ookedatherandsl
owl
ynodded.
Ivy:
yoursituationr emi ndsofBandi le,IrealizedI
waspr egnantwhenIwas18andwor seofal l I
wasdoi ngmymat ric.YouknowIf eltli
kei twas
theendoft her oadf orme, li
kemyl i
fewasov er
andIknewmypar ent swer egoi ngtokickme
out..
thewayt heywer esost rict
..Icouldev en
i
magi newhatt heywer egoi ngtosayorwor se
howt hecommuni t
ywasgoi ngtobel ookingat
meorwhatt heywi l
l besay i
ngbehi ndmyback.
Itwasr eall
yhar dt hatIev engott ot hestage
wereIt houghtofabor t
ionbecauseIt oldmy self
Iwon'tbeabl etohandl ei t
.I'm proudont hef act
thatyouhav echosent oembr acethatbaby .
NowI 'm notsay i
ngt hatfalli
ngpr egnantwasa
verygoodt hingbutwhat '
shappenedhas
happenedsodwel l
ingont hepastwon' thel p
anyone.Iknowy ouar escar ed,scaredofhow
yourpar entswi ll
reactt othispr egnancy .
.but
theyneedt oknow, y ouneedt hem. .
familyist he
onlyuncondi ti
onal suppor ty ouwi l
levergetno
mat t
erwhat ,
yest heywi ll
beangr y,
andy est hey
wil
lbedi sappoi
nt edbutthere'
snowayt heyare
goi
ngt obeangr yforever
..Youarehumanand
humansar eboundt omakemi st
akes,y
our
motherknowst his.
.andbecausey ouar
eher
daughtershewi llholdyourhand..
wrongorri
ght
shewillbebesidey oubecauseyouareher
pri
de..
Iwipedawaymyt ears,
IwishedIhadher
confidencer
unni
nginme, butIdi
dn'
t.
.Iwas
scared..
howwil
lIevenstart?
I
vy:youareherdaughter,
herchi
ldandyour
happinessbeli
evemecomesf ir
sttoher
,she
won'tletyoubealoneinthi
shorr
ibl
eworld.
.
Me:she'
s-
she'
sgoi
ngt
obedi
sappoi
nted.
.I
f
ail
edher
Iv
y:noyoudidn't
..Youst i
llhav
eal ongrace
aheadofy outorun,thisi
snottheend..She's
yourmother,youar eherdaughterandshewi l
l
bev er
ytouchedy es,butshesnotgoingtoleave
youalone.
.shesgoingt ostandwithyouI
promi
sesweet heart
..Therearemanyt imes
Bandi
lehasmessedup. .
buthe'smyson. .AndI
knowifIl
eavehissidenoonewi llhav ehisside.
.
He'smyson,andthroughwr ongIwi llholdhis
handandleadhimi ntherightdir
ectionbecause
nooneisperfect,
everyonehast heirownf laws..
Inodded
I
vy:
yes,
youmot
herneedst
oknow.
.
Me:
doesheknow?
I
vy:
hedoes.
.
Ishutmyey
es,
ofcausehedoes.
.Iwi
pedmy
tear
..
Heknows.
.
.
Isatonmybed,
aty
pedagai
n..
"I
'
m sorr
yIhav edi
sappoi
ntedy
ou,
nowor
dscan
star
ttoexpl
ainhowsorryIam.
.
Ier
asedt
hesent
ence.WhatI
vysai
damont
h
agomademet othinkhard.Shedeservedto
know.
.Ihadt otel
lherbutwheretostart?Iwas
hopi
ngthatsinceIvysaidBandil
e
knows,
may be..
hemi ghtcal
lmeor .
.af
terIsent
himtoj
ail
?..maybehe'sangryand..
hatesme.I
rememberthelasttimewet al
ked..
"Imi
ssy
ou"
"
Imi
ssy
out
oo"
"
whenar
eyoucomi
ngout
?"
"
soon.
.Il
ovey
ou"
"
Ilov
eyout
oo"
Hel
ovesme,
hedoesn'
that
eme.
.
"
Kri
s!Pleasecorporat
ewi thme,I'
m notgoingto
l
etyougot ojai
lformysi ns.
.Il
oveyoutoo
muchtoev enthi
nkaboutdoi ngthattoyou..
it
s
me.
.Itsallme,wewill
sticktothisstat
ementno
matt
erwhat .
.ar
ewecl ear?"
Istoodupandwal
kedt
othesink,
washedface
thenfi
nal
lyt
ookmyphoneanddial
edher
number
..Iwaspr
ayi
ngshedoesn'
tpi
ckupbut
shedi
d..Myhear
twasr
eadytoleapout
..
Her
:baby
Me:
mommy
Her
:howar
eyoudoi
ngbaby
?
Me:
I'
m goody
ou?
Her
:I
'm ok,
Imi
ssy
ou
Me:
imi
ssy
oumor
e..
Imi
ssy
ousomuch.
.
Isai
dfeel
i
ngemot
ional
all
overagai
n.
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:yes.
.y
ouaregoi
ngt
ohat
emef
orwhatI
'
m
abouttosay
..
Her
:youscar
ingme.
.what
'swr
ong?
Me: I
'
mr eal
l
ysorry.
.IknowI'
ma
disappoi
ntment
..Pleasej
ustfi
ndi
tiny
ourhear
t
toforgi
veme
Iwi
pedmyt
ear
s..
Her:
babybual
enna.
.gori
l
eng?keagorat
aandI
cannever
..
nev
erhat
ey ou..
tal
ktome
Me:
I'
m..
I'
m..
I.
.
Her
:Jehov
ah!Kr
ispl
easet
alkt
ome
Icoul
dn'
tsuppr
esst
hesobany
mor
e,i
twasj
ust
choki
ngme.
Me:
I'
m..
I'
m-i
'
m pr
eg-
pregnant
Iheldmybreat
handl
i
stenedt
oher
,shewas
si
lent.
.Di
dshehat
eme?
Me:
Mama?I
'
m sor
ry.
.
Isaidhangingup,Ilookedatmy sel
font he
mirror
..Shesjustdisappointed.
.Shewi l
l come
around..Yes.
.no.
.sheHat esme. .Alotof
thoughtsraninmymi ndthatIhi tt
hemi rror
hardwi t
hmyhandt hatitcrackedandt hat s
whenIr eali
zedIhadcutmyhand. .
mybaby ..
.
Car
eful
l
yhebandagedmyhand,
noti
nfl
i
cti
ng
mor
epai
nonmyhand.
Hi
m:i
twasj
ustami
norcut
..
youwi
l
lfi
ne
Me:
Iwasn'
ttr
yingt
ohurtmysel
f.
.Iwoul
dnev
er
t
ryt
ohurtmybabypurposel
y
Hi
m:Iknow.
.bel
i
eveme,
how'
sthepai
n?
Me:
thepai
nki
l
leri
sdoi
ngi
tsj
ob
Hi
m:good.
.wedontwanty
oui
npai
n
Me:
yeah.
.t
hanky
ou
Him:it
smyj obafterall
,
butputtingasi
debeinga
doc,I
'm bei
ngKhany arightnow..t
hisi
snotgood
foryou..
orthebabyeither.
.Iwishtomakeit
stopbecauseIcan'treall
ybareseeingyouli
ke
thi
s..
howf arar
ey ou?
Me:
goi
ngt
o5mont
hs.
.am Ihuge?
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:nah.
.y
ouar
eper
fect
Me:youarejustsay
ingt
hatt
oear
npoi
ntsf
or
your
selfr
ight?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:no.
.I
'
m say
ingi
tbecausei
tst
het
rut
h
Me:
canIgo?
Hi
m:i
fyout
ell
mewhathappened.
.
Me:
thi
sisnotwhatdoct
or'
sdo
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
I'
m notl
ett
ingany
thi
ngout
Hi
m:t
heny
ouwi
l
ljustl
i
eont
hatbed
Isi
ghed.
.
Me:
I'
m st
art
ingt
othi
nkIhat
eyou
Hi
m:ohwr
eal
l
y..If
eel
opposi
te
Me:
I'
m out
!
Isai
dst
andi
ngup.
Hi
m:wai
t.
.hav
eyoudoneul
tr
asound?
Me:
no.
.noty
et
Hi
m:Idontmi
nddoi
ngi
t.
Me:buty
ounota.
.what
every
oucal
lthe
pr
egnancydoc
Hi
m:Iknow.
.come
Hetookmyhandwewal keddownt hecor
ri
dor
unt
ilwegott
othi
sot herroom.Hel edmeinsi
de
andther
ewasanotherdoctorinsi
de.
Khany
a:y
ohPr
incebusy
?
Theguyt
urnedandsmi
l
ed.
.
Pr
ince:
nah
Khany
a:canIhav
e2mi
nut
es
Pr
ince:
yahsur
e
Khany
a:comel
i
eont
hisbed
Iwal
kedt
othebedandl
aydown.
.
Hewal
kedsomewher
eandcameback.
Khany
a:t
hisi
sgoingtobe.
.j
ustal
i
lcol
dbutI
needyoutor
aiseyouTshi
rt.
Iwaswear
ingoneofBandi
l
esT-
shi
rt
s,atl
east
i
tfi
twel
lthanmostofmycl
othes.
Il
if
tedit
,r
eveali
ngmyt ummy ,
thenheappl
i
ed
somethi
ngcol donmyt ummy .Af
terawhi
lewe
werebothlookingatt
hescreen.
Khanya:
ok.
.we'
vegatt
helegs.
.Ri
ghtt
here,
then
thet
inyhands.
.Youwannaknowthesex?
Me:
ummmhy
eah.
.
Khany
a:ok.
..
it
s..
.God!
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Khany
a:y
eah.
.
Hecontinuedf
orawhi
l
elooki
ngf
ort
hesexI
guess.
.
Khany
a:ohht
her
ewego.
.i
tsashe
Ismil
edwi
pingmytear
sandaf ewmoment
s
l
aterwewer
ehear
ingthehear
tbeat
.
Khany
a:Iwil
lgi
vey
ouy
ourscanphot
os.
.And
wedone..
Hewi
pedawayt
hegel
thenmademesi
tont
he
bed.
Khany
a:t
hebabyi
sok,
she'
sheal
thybutt
her
e's
onl
yoneprobl
em.
.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Khanya:
she'
sbreach,
shesnoti
ntheri
ght
posi
ti
onbutthenyouarest
il
lat20weekssoi
t
cansti
ll
change
Me:
andi
fshedoesn'
t?
Khany
a:wemightt
ryt
oputheri
nposi
ti
onor
per
fom ac-
sect
ion
Inodded.
.
Khany
a:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
Idontknow.
.I
'
m..
Ifeel
..
exci
ted
.
Ivi
ewedt hebabyvestIwashol
ding,
thi
swoul
d
fi
ther,
Ithenputi
tintheshoppi
ngbaskett
hen
walkedaround.
Khany
a:l
ookwhatIf
ound.
.
Il
ookedatt
hel
i
ttl
esandal
shewashol
ding.
.
Me:
socut
e
Khany
a:y
eahIknow
Het
hrewt
hem i
nthebasket
..
Me:
Bandi
l
ewoul
dfl
i
pifheev
erseest
his
Khany
a:he'
snother
e,If
eel
li
kehecont
rol
syou
toomuch
Me:hedoesn'
t.
.Hej
ustdi
sli
kessomest
affand
i
tsnormal
Khanya:
ohhyeahl
ikeyourf
riends.
.Doall
your
fr
iendsgothr
oughsomeintervi
ewwithhi
m
Me:
stopi
t
Khanya:
Ican'
thelpbuttowonderbutthenI
real
i
zedhesscar edbecauseyoudef
inatl
ynot
hist
ype.
.gi
rl
slikeyouhardlygi
veguysli
kehim
asecondglance
Me:
Il
ovehi
m
Khany
asmi
l
ed.
.
Khany
a:t
hatcanst
il
lchange.
.l
et'
sgo
Wewal
kedt
othet
il
l.
.
Me:
thanky
ouf
ort
oday
Khany
a:i
tsmypl
easur
e..
takecar
eofpr
incess
Hesai
dlooki
ngatmyt
ummy
.
Me:
yes.
.
Hel eanedt
owar
dsme,Il
ookedasi
debutt
hat
didn'tst
ophi
m.Hepl
antasoftki
ssonmy
cheek..
Khany
a:seey
ouar
ound.
.
Thenoffhewasgone,It
ookadeepbr eat
h.I
shoul
dn'thav
elett
hathappen.Ir
ubbedmyface
thengotinmycaranddrovehome.Arri
vi
ng
homeLeahwasi nfr
ontofthetv.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
..
Igoti
nandsatdown.
.
Her
:whathappenedt
oyourhand?
Me:
Igothur
t.
.l
ookwhatIbought
..
Isai
dtaki
ngoutt
hebabycl
othesIbought
Her
:ohhht
hat
scut
e
Shecameandsatbesi
desmeandwel
ookedat
thecl
othest
oget
her
.
Her
:t
heyar
esot
iny
Me:
Iknow.
.
Her
:yourmom cal
l
ed
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
ummh.
.whatdi
dshesay
?
Her
:shewant
stot
alkt
oyou
Me:
ohw.
.
Her
:yout
oldher
?
Me:
yeah.
.Idi
danul
tr
asound
Her
:r
eal
l
y?Soi
t'
sa?
Me:
agi
rl
..
butKhany
asay
sshe'
sbr
each
Her
:Khany
a?
Me:Iwentt
othehospi
tal
whenIt
hishappened.
.
Andthenaft
ert
reat
ingmewewenttodoan
ul
tr
asound
Her
:andIbety
ouwentbabyshoppi
ngt
oget
her
?
Me:
i
tsnotl
i
keIcheat
Her
:ohhsohewannabebuddi
es?
Me:
canIbr
eat
h?
Her:
youwantoxy
genaf
teryouwer
ebusy
pl
ayi
nghappyfamil
ywi
thsomeone'
sbabywi
th
anot
herguy?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Idontknowwhyy
ouar
etr
ippi
ng
Her:
can'
tyouseeany
thi
ngwr
ongwi
thwhaty
ou
ar
edoing?
Me:
i
twasi
nnocent
Her
:wow!
innocent
..
Me:
ummhIwi
l
lgoputt
hisi
nmyr
oom.
Iwalkedt omyr oom thenputtheshoppi
ng
bagsont hefl
oorandl ookedatt
hecracked
mi r
ror.It
ookmyt owel andwi
pedawayt he
bloodf r
om themi rr
orandsomef ewdropson
thefloor.
AfterdoingthatIpi
ckedmyphonef rom the
fl
oor..Thereweremor et
han10mi ssedcal l
s
fr
om mom, AlexandSam.Justthenacall f
rom
Alexgoti n,
Ihesi
tat
edansweri
ngbutt henIhate
i
twhent heyworry.
Me:
hey
Al
ex:
ohhGod!
fi
nal
l
y..Wewer
ewor
ri
ed
Me:
I'
mfi
ne
Alex
:Ir
eal
lycan'
tbel
i
eveI
'
m goi
ngt
obe
someone'
saunt
Me:
how'
smom?
Alex
:worri
ed..Shesay
syout
hinkshehat
esy
ou
butshedoesn't
Me:
wher
e'sshe?
Bef
oreshecoul
drespondIhear
dmom'
svoi
ce
i
nthebackgr
ound.
.
Mom:
i
tsher
?letmet
alkt
oher
Mom:
hel
l
o
Me:
hel
l
o
Shesi
ghedaudi
bly
..
Mom:
thankGod.
.babyar
eyouok?
Me:
yes
Mom:Ican'
tcomet
heret
odaybutIwi
l
lbe
comi
ngonTuesday.
.Howfarar
eyou?
Me:
20weeks.
.
Mom:i
sthi
swhyy
oudi
dn'
tcomehomel
ast
hol
i
day?
Ikeptqui
te,
notev
enknowi
nghowt
orespond.
.
Mom:
wher
e'sbabydaddy
?
Me:he.
.he'
s.
.t
her
ejustummhwentona
busi
nesstr
ip
Mom: I'
m notgoi ngtosayI '
m notdi
sappointed,
Iam.ButIdon' thateyou,Icanneverhateyou.
Therewereal otoft i
meswer eIwishedy ou
wouldtal
kt omebecausey ouseem tobottl
ea
l
otofstuff.
.andIwi shyout ol
dmesoon.Iwi l
l
tal
ktoyourf atherandseeawayf or
wardasa
famil
ybuty ouar est i
lly
oungf ormarri
age..So
heshouldknowt hatandpayf ordamagesbut
marri
age..Ny aa
Me:
I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Mom:wewil
ltal
kwhenIgett
her
ebutr
ightnow
Sam i
scomi
ng..Il
ovey
ou
Me:
memor
e..
Thenshehungup.It
ookadeepbr
eat
hasIl
ay
onmybed.
.
BANDI
LE
.
It
hrewt
hepi
ctur
esont
hef
loorasangert
ook
over
.
Me:
thef
uck?
Q:
wil
lyouf
uckencal
m down!
Me:
howthefucki
s..Shesbusywhoringar
ound
wi
thmybabyandIshouldcalm down?
Set
h:t
hat'
snotwhori
ng.
.shesf
indi
ngcompany
..
Someti
mespregnantwomantendtogetl
onel
y
Ichuckl
edunbel
i
evabl
y
Me:he'
sevendoingbabyshopping.
.Formy
chi
l
d..Isweari
fhe'
sfatherwasn'
tmyclient
..I
wouldhavekil
l
edhim
Seth:
youshoul
dhav ejustwenttoseeher.
.I
meany ougotoutofjail
lastweek.
.andnowy ou
arestal
ki
ngher
Qchuckl
ed
Q:
honest
lyIsodon'
twantt
obey
our
ightnow.
.
Seth:
she'
slooki
nghot
tert
hanhowy
oul
astsaw
herri
ght?
Igav
ehi
m onegl
ance.
.
Seth:
justsayi
ng.
.QI'
m out
,can'
tbehangi
ng
aroundniggaswhocatchf
eeli
ngs
Ql
aughedasSet
hwal
kedout
..
Q:
andohhSam cal
l
ed.
.He'
snothappy
Me:
Idon'
tgi
veaf
uckei
therway
..
Igr
abbedmycarkey
sandst
oodup.
Me:
Ithi
nki
tst
imeIgi
veherav
isi
t
Q:
goodl
uck.
.y
ouwi
l
lneedi
t
.
KRI
S
.
Thatev
eni
ngi
mmedi
atel
yaf
terweat
eIwentt
o
sl
eep,myf eetwer eev enhur ti
ngme.Sl owlyI
sl
ippedi ntoapeacef ul sleepbutgotwokenup
bythatf eelingofbei ngwat ched.Igr abbedmy
phonebesi desmeandi twasar ound2a. m.The
ai
rthatf il
ledt hewitht hesmel lofnicotine.
Quickl
yIswi tchedont hel ampbesi demybed
andhewast here,seatingatmyst udyt able
smoking.Myhear tstar tedbeat i
ngf ast..
forthe
fi
rstti
mesi ncehegotar restedIwasseei ng
hi
m, hest i
lllookedhot ..orev enhot t
er.He'sey es
burntmyski n.Istoodupandwentt oswi tchthe
mainlightsoIseehi m cl earl
y.Hewasseat ed
onmyt able,whi lehisfeetwher eont hechair.
Hejustkeptqui
teandl
ookedatme,
hi
s
expr
essionnumb.
Me:
I'
m happyy
ouar
eher
e
Hekeptqui
tef
orawhi
l
eashepuf
fed.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyou?
Hi
stonewasn'ttheoneheusuall
yuseswi
th
me,
thatsental
ltheal
armsri
nging.
Me:
ofcause
Henoddedsl
i
ght
ly.
.
Hi
m:who'
sbabyi
sthat
?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
whatdoy
oumeanwho'
sbabyi
sthi
s?
Hi
m:Imeanj
ustt
hat
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
i
tsourbaby
..
Isai
d,t
ryi
ngt
ocont
ainmy
sel
f.
.
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Hesai
dwi
thhi
sey
ebr
owr
aised.
.
Ikeptqui
tel
ooki
ngathi
m unbel
i
evabl
y.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eit
smybaby
?
Me:
getout
!
Hegotdownf
rom t
het
abl
eandwal
kedt
owar
ds
me.
.
Him:sowenay oudobabyshoppingf
ormybaby
wit
hsomeni ggaoutther
e,ki
sseachotherand
shi
t.
.li
fei
sgoodhuh?itsgoodtobeyou
Me:Bandi
l
et hatwasinnocent
..YouknowIcan
nev
erhurtyouliket
hat
Hi
m:i
twon'
tbey
ourf
ir
stt
imedoi
ngshi
tli
ke
t
hat
Me:
Ithoughtwewer
eov
ert
hat
Hi
m:y
ouandwho?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.Ir
eal
l
yam.
.Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:I'
m st
art
ingt
odoubtt
hat
,busywhor
ing
ar
oundwithmybaby
!
It
ookadeepbr
eat
hwi
pingmyt
ear
s..
Me:
stopi
t
Hi
m:ohr
eal
l
y?
Me:
younev
ercal
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:r
easonf
ory
out
obef
ucki
ngwi
thmychi
l
d
Me:
I'
m not
..
Hi
m:heywena!
donty
oudar
e
Me:
he'
sjustaFr
iend.
.
Hi
m:f
ri
endswhoki
sseachot
her
?
Me:
Bandi
l
e..
Hi
m:andhowdoIknowi
tsnott
hef
ir
stt
ime
Me:
youf
ucki
ngnut
s!heshal
fthemany
ouar
e-
Igotcutoffbyalightingslapt
hatsentme
strai
ghttothef
loor..Istoodup,
hol
dingmy
tearsback,
Iwil
lnotbet hatweakinfrontofhi
m.
Me:
feel
bet
ternow?
Hest
oodther
elooki
ngatmeshowi
ngnor
egr
et
what
soev
er.
.
Me:getout
..
Inev
erwannaseey
ou.
.ev
er!
you
pi
eceofshit!
Iopenedt
hedoorgest
uri
nghi
m out
..
Me:
i
fyoudontgetout
..Iwi
l
lrepor
tyourasst
o
t
hepol
i
ce
Hi
m:ohhr
unt
heny
ouseem t
ofor
getwhoIam
Me:
getout
!
Iscreamedwit
htearscascadi
ng,
j
ustt
henLeah
walkedoutf
rom herroom..
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Shel
ookedatBandi
l
e..
Me:
cany
ougo?
Ithi
nky
ouhav
esai
denough
Hecl
i
ckedhi
stoungeashewal
kedout
..
Iwal
kedtotheki
tchen,
tookagl
assand
smashedi
tontheground.
Me:
Ihat
ehi
m..
.
Leahembracedmetightl
yasIcr i
ed.
.Nottothe
painofmycheekbutthepaininmyheart.Thi
s
i
snotwhatIexpect
ed..Thingsjustt
ooka
downfal
l.
.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t52
KRI
S
.
.
Imusthav efallenasl
eepbecauseIwokeupon
Leah'sbed,wit
habl anketontopofme.Isatup
str
aightthenrubbedmycheek.Ev ery
thingthat
happenedy esterday.
.Wasjustunbel
iev
able.
"
I'
m sor
ry.
.Ir
eal
l
yam.
.Il
ovey
ou"
"
I'
m st
art
ingt
odoubtt
hat
,busywhor
ingar
ound
wi
thmybaby!"
Ibli
nkedawaymytear
s,i
sitmyfault
?Ofcause
i
tis..
I'
mtheonewhoalwaysfuckthi
ngsup.
.
"
itwon'
tbey
ourf
ir
stt
imedoi
ngshi
tli
ket
hat
"
Hi
m goi
ngt
ojai
lwasme.
.i
fIdi
dn'
tsayshi
t.
.He
wouldn'
thaveslappedme.
.I
'm nott
hegir
lfor
him.
.Iwipedawaymyt ear
sasImadeupmy
mind.MyeyesmetLeah'swhowasst andi
ngby
thedoorhol
dingamug.
Me:
ain'
tyousupposedt
obei
nschool
?
Her:
Ionl
yhaveonel
essonlat
ert
hisday.
.And
youdontwor
ry.
.y
oudontgavealessont
oday
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:Imadey
ouhotchocol
ate.
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsmeandhandi
ngme
themug.
Me:
thanky
ou
Her
:heshoul
dhav
enev
err
aisedhi
shandaty
ou
Me:
hewasangr
y..
hehadev
eryr
ightt
obe
Her
:st
il
l.
.i
tdoesn'
tmakei
tok
Me:heshoul
dn'tbedeal
i
ngwi
thmyshi
t.
.He
j
ustgotrel
eased
Her
:hewi
l
lcomear
ound
Me:no.
.Iwanttosethi
mf ree.
.i
t'
scl
earenough
thatweareincompati
ble.
.I'
m nott
hegir
lfor
him
Shel
ookedatme.
.
Her
:canIj
ustbl
amei tonthehormones?You
guy
sarecrazyabouteachother
..
Me:Ihurthim.
.Icoul
dsee,it
'
sheartbr
eaki
ngbut
i
tsthetruthandweal lknowit.
.wenotf
oreach
ot
her..I
'
m goingt osethimfree.
.
Her:
ift
hat
showy
ouf
eel
thenwel
lIcan'
tst
op
you
Me:yeah..
wewill
discusshowwewi ll
co-
par
ent
Let
habile,
apar
tfrom t
hatIdontt
hinkwecanbe
any
thingelse
Her
:Let
habi
l
e..
nicename
Me:y
eah..t
hisbabyismyhappiness,outof
ev
erythi
ngIdontregretnott
aki
ngt heshot
..
Her
:yeahwhataboutsecondname?
Me:Idontknow.
.I'
m sur
eBandi
l
ewi
l
lfi
nda
name..I
'
mt i
redofbei
ngsel
fi
sh.
.
Her
:ok.
.
Me:
Iwantt
otakear
un.
.
Isai
dst
andi
ngup.
.
.
Iranforabout10mi nut
es, mybodycoul dn'
tdo
moresoIsatont henear estbench.Icl
osedmy
eyesasIl eanedbackont hebench,
andt hats
whenIf el
tt hemov ementi nmytummy .Qui
ckly
Iopenedmyey eswi thmyhandonmyt ummy
al
ready,shewaski cking.Inmyowni maginary
world,
Ialway spi
cturedBandilebesidesme.
Iwi
pedawaymyt
ear
s,t
hiswasj
ustso
emoti
onal
.
Me:mommyanddaddycan'tbet
ogether
,wenot
goodforeachot
her
..Youagr
eer
ight
?
Afterawhi
leIwal
kedbackhome,sl
owl
ylet
ti
ng
thecoldmorni
ngbreezehi
tmyski
nsof
tl
y.The
momentIgothome,
Sam wassi
tt
ingonthe
couchwi
thhi
seyesonmine.Hestoodupand
cametohugme.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hey
Hel
ookedatme.
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
efat
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:r
eal
l
yfat
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
fucky
ou!
Hi
m:wher
e'st
hebast
urd?
Ishr
ugged.
.
Hi
m:Ihear
dhe'
sout
Me:
yeah.
.whendi
dyouar
ri
ve?
Hi
m:l
astni
ght
..
Me:
wantany
thi
ngt
oeat
?
Hi
m:nah.
.I
'
m good,
Iwantt
oseeBandil
e.When
i
shepayi
ngthedamages?orwor
seyourdi
ary
?
Me:
therewon'
tbemeandBandi
l
eany
mor
e..
Webreaki
ngup
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:y
ounotj
oki
ng?
Me:
I'
m ser
ious
Hi
m:wow!
nev
ert
houghtIwoul
dseet
hisday
..
Me:
yeah.
.l
etmeshower
..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Iwi
l
ltakey
ououtf
orbr
eakf
ast
Iwentt
ot akeashower,
thenchangedi
ntoa
si
mpleblackdresswi
thpumps.
Hi
m:howf
arar
eyou?
Me:
5mont
hs
Hi
m:mom say
sbabi
esar
ebl
essi
ngsf
rom God
Me:
yeah.
.l
et'
sgo,
I
'm st
arv
ing
Wewal
keddownt
othegar
age,
tohi
scar
.
Me:
youchangedt
heAust
inMar
ti
n'
scol
our
?
Hi
m:bl
ackwasj
ustor
dinar
y..
Heopenedthedoorf
ormeanddr
ovet
osome
r
est
aurant
.
Hi
m:how'
sschool
?
Me:
school
isok.
.Di
dyouf
indaj
ob?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.butImi
ghtmov
etoLondon
Me:
ti
redofAf
ri
ca?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
Ithoughtt
her
ewasagi
rl
Him:shesthere.
.i
fImanagetomov
eus
abroad..
Iwil
lwif
eherbecauseI
'mti
redof
sneaking
Me:
that
s..
goodony
oursi
deIguess
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Wegotofft
hecarandwal
kedinsidet
he
r
est
aurant
.Wewalkedt
oat abl
e..
Sam:
whatdoy
ouwant
..
Hesai
dhandi
ngmet
hemenu.
.
Me:ummhFrenchtoastandBaconwi l
ldowi
th
chocol
atemuf
finsasi
deandcoffee.
.and
omelet
te
Sam:
that
sal
o..
-
He'ssent encegotcutof
f,
Il
ookedwer ehewas
l
ooki ngandBandi l
ewassit
ti
ngont heother
table..WithMaxandsome2gi r
ls.Themoment
he'sey esmetmi neIl
ookedaway.
Sam:
thef
uck?
Me:
let
'sgo
Sam:
go?
kant
ewhatexact
lyi
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
hef
oundr
epl
acementnowl
et'
sgo
Sam:
Ineedt
otal
kwi
thhi
m..
Me:
no.
.pl
easel
et'
sgo
Sam:
thi
sisnotov
er
Hestoodupandhel pedmest andup.Igav e
Bandil
eonel astgl
ancebefor
ewalkingout,t
he
bl
ondet hatwassitt
ingbesi
deshim wasbusy
hoveri
ngalloverhi
m buthehadhisey eson
mine.Myhear thur
t,
Ibli
nkedawaymyt ear
sas
wewal kedtothecar.
Me:
she'
swhi
te.
.abeaut
if
ulwhi
tegi
rl
Isai
daswef
inal
l
ydr
oveaway
..
Hi
m:youarebestthi
ngthathasev
erhappened
t
ohim,hewil
lregr
etit
..
Me:
i
tsme.
.It
snothi
m
Hedr ov etoanot
herrestaurantwer ewehad
breakfast.Hespentther estofthedaywi t
h
me,andweendedupl ookingatsomef ew
houses.Becauseoft hebabyI 'm goingtoneed
anewhouse, abitbi
ggert hanthef l
at.Sam
droppedmeathomel aterthatdayandwentt o
Hishot el.
Hewastootir
edtojoi
nfordinner
,accor
dingt
o
hi
m Idr
ainedal
lhi
senergy.
Getti
ngi nt hef l
at ,
Leahwasn' tinsoIf igured
she'swi t
hQ.Iputt het akeaway sSam bought
forusont het ableasIwentt otakeashower .
Afterchangi ngi nt omyni ght y,Ithoughtabout
today .Seei ngt hatBl ondegi rlonhi m. .Her
handsal lov erhim.Ihadnor ighttof eel j
ealous
what soev er ,
Ishoul dbehappybecauseatl east
hedoesn' thav et odeal withmeany mor e.
Quickl yIchangedi nt osomesweat pant sandan
oversizedhoodi ewi thpushi ns,thengr abbedhi s
AMGC63carkey s,Ihadn' tgav eitbacky etbut
nowi twasaboutt ime.Iwasev engl adInev er
tookt heLambor ghi nifrom hi shousebecauseI
am nev ergoi ngt ot akei tei t
herway .Ilocked
thehouseandwentt ohi scart hendr ovet ohis
house.Get tingt her eIpar kedhi scarout si
de
thenwal kedt ot hedoorcont empl ati
ng
knocki ngorj ustget ti
ngi nsidebutIj ustset t
led
forknocki ngbecauseIcoul dseet hel i
ghts
wereonsohewaspr obablyhome.Iknockeda
coupleofti
mesunt i
lthedoorwasf i
nall
y
openedbysomegi rl
,hada32i nchweave,was
dresseduponlyinhisshirtandwassmel li
ng
hi
sscentalloverher.Hercur v
esandt hi
ghs
weref ul
l
yexposed,shewasper fect
.
Her
:hi
Me:
hey
,ummhi
sBandi
l
ein?
Her
:whatbusi
nessdoy
ouhav
ewi
thhi
m?
Me:ohhI
'
m Kr
is,
andIhadcomet
odr
ophi
scar
hear
Shel
ookedatmef
rom headt
otoe.
Her
:t
heex?
Theex
..t
ell
herKr
is.
.
Me:yes.
.t
ell
him Idroppedhi
scarandhecan
keeptheLambor ghi
ni
Her
:ok
Igav
ehert
hecarkey
s
Me:
thanky
ou.
.
Iwal
kedtothegatebutonlycamebackmi
dway
,
shewassti
l
l st
andi
ngthere.
Me:
andgi
vet
hist
ohi
m
Igav
eherhi
shousekey
s,andt
hegat
e
cont
rol
l
ingr
emote.
Me:
yeah
ThenIwalkedout
,asIdi
dthatIcal
l
ed
Joseph,
mychauff
eur.
Joseph:
MissMacv
erdana
Me:
hiJoseph.
.It
hinkIneedal
i
ft.
Igavehim Bandi l
eshomeaddr essandIst ood
besidesBandilesgatewaiti
ngf orhim.AsI
stoodthere,Icouldsmellhi
sCol ognebecause
i
twasabi tstr
ongert hi
sti
mear oundandwas
i
ntoxicat
ingme.Il ookedbesidesmeandhe
stoodthere.Upperbodywasshi rt
less,
rev
eali
ng
hisabsandt attoos.Idi
dn'
thav etoscanforthe
tatt
oostof i
ndmyname.I twasj ustonhis
chest,
outstandi
ng.Myey esf l
ickedbacktohis
face,
hewashol dingsomef r
ozenmi xedveggies
onhischeekandhi smout hhadasl i
ghtcut.My
cari
nginstinct
skickedinbutmypr i
dewouldn't
l
etmet akeast epcloser.
.hehast hatgi
rli
nside
thehouse,shewillt
akecar eofhim.
Me:
Ibr
oughtbacky
ourcarandhousekey
s.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Inodded.
.
Me:Iunder
stand.
.Youcankeept
he
Lamborghi
ni
Hi
m:i
tsy
ourbi
rt
hdaypr
esent
,i
t'
syour
sbabe
Me:y
esbuty oucankeepi
t,
mymotheri
s
coming.Shesaysyouhav
etopaydamages
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Hel
ookedatme,
mor
eli
keanal
ysi
ngme.
Me:i
tsyourchi
l
d..
yout
heonl
yoneIhav
eev
er
sl
eptwi
th.
Hi
m:Iact
edl
i
keaj
erky
est
erday
..
Me:i
tsok.
.I
'm notsai
ntei
ther
,wej
ustnot
compati
ble
Hi
m:dontsayt
hat
Hecameandst oodbesidesmethr
owingthe
mixesveggi
esdown.Itl
ookedl
ikehadbeen
punchedanditwasquit
ebad.
Hi
m:I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Me:y
oudeserve.
.Someonebett
er.Notme,
and
i
tcanneverbeme.Ithi
nkwecancomeupwi t
h
somearr
angementforthebaby
.
Hi
m:what
'st
hegender
?
Me:i
tsashe..Thedoctorsai
dit
sbr
eachsoifit
doesn'
tmovet ot
herightposi
ti
ont
heymightdo
aC-sect
ion.
Hi
m:whendi
dyouf
indout
?
Me:y
esterday.
.Iwil
lmakesur
eyour
ecei
ve.
.
Theult
rasoundpict
ures.
Justt
henshemov edagai
n.Qui
ckl
yIt
ookhi
s
handsohefeel
sittoo.
Hi
m:wow!I
sital
way
sli
ket
his?
Hesai
dgr
inni
ng.
.
Me:
no.
.i
tst
hesecondt
imeact
ual
l
y
Igotst
artl
edbythecarhoot
er,
Il
ookedatt
he
caranditwasJoseph.
Me:
okby
e
Idi
dn'tgi
vehi
m achancet
orespondIr
ushedt
o
Josephwhothendrov
eaway.
Hi
m:goodev
eni
ngmam
Me:
hiJoseph
Hedr
ovet
omyhouse,
andpar
kedi
nthegar
age.
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:I
'
mjustdoi
ngwhati
m pai
dfor
.
Igi
ggledasIgotoutandwal
kedtotheel
evat
or.
Get
tingint
heflatIt
ookthet
akeawayand
warmedi t.Iateaswat chedTv .Aftereati
ngI
ret
iredtobed.Thef oll
owi ngday,Iwokeabi t
early,
Ihadamor ni
nglesson.ImetAv easIgot
i
nt heclass,herandIwer en'
treall
ysocl osel
ike
wewer ebefore.Ev
ent houghwedot al
kbutit
wasn'tthesameany mor e.
Av
e:hey
Me:
hi
Av
e:how'
sli
lbabyt
her
e?
Me:
she'
sfi
ne
Av
e:t
hat
sgr
eat
..
heywannacat
chl
uncht
oday
?
Me:
I'
m meet
ingupwi
thNono
Okthatwasal
i
ebutIcoul
dal
way
scheckon
heratwor
k.
Av
e:ohhok.
.
Wesatdownaswewai t
edfort
hel
ecturert
o
come.Wehadal
readyappl
i
edfori
nter
nships
fornex
tyear
.
AsIsatther
e,atextcamei
nfrom Q.Inev
ertal
k
toQthatmuchunl esswear
etal
kingabout
LeahorBandil
e.
"Hey,
ummhcanwemeetup.
.l
et'
ssayar
ound
1800hrs"
Qui
ckl
yIr
esponded.
.
"
Myl
astl
essonendsat1600hr
s,soy
eah"
"
Ohhifi
tendsatfour,
howaboutj
ustafteri
t.
.I
wi
ll
beattherest
aurantneary
ourschool
wai
ti
ng*
"ok"
Iputmyphoneasidewonderi
ngwhyhewoul d
wanttomeetup..
may beit
sLeahorhewantsto
tal
kabouthi
sfr
iend.Itookanuneasybr
eat
h..
Thelectur
ercameaf terawhileandwe
cont
inuedont helesson.AroundLunchIdrove
toSIRITOUREconst ruct
ion
company (
STCC).Somet i
mesi evenwonderhow
Bandil
ecameupwi ththename.Mynextl esson
wasgoi ngtost
artatthr
eesoIst illhadt
ime.I
boughtpizzaal
ongwaywi t
hsomesof tdrinks.
Arriv
ingther
eIwalkedstrai
ghttoherof f
ice.
Shewasbusyonherl aptopt hatshedidn'teven
recognizemeatthedoorunt i
lIclearedmy
throat.
Me:
hel
l
oooo!
Her
:ohmyGod!Lookwho'
sher
e..
hey
Igoti
nandsatdown.
Me:
busy
?
Her:
MrThul anii
scomi ng..Ireal
l
ydontwantto
getfi
redforincompletewor k.Ever
ythi
nghast
o
beinorderbecauset her
e'sgoingtobea
meeti
ngin45mi nut
es.
Me:
isn'
tSt
evesupposedt
obet
heonedoi
ng
t
hefi
ri
ng?
Her:
MrThul
aniownsthebi
ggestchunkinthi
s
companysopr
acti
cal
l
yhehast heupperhand
Me:
that
smessedup.
.any
wayIcamewi
th
l
unch.
.t
houghtwecoul
deatt
odayt
oget
her
..
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:t
hanks.
.I'
m sohungr
yri
ghtnow.
.
Shesai
dgr
abbi
ngonecanandopeni
ngi
t.
Me:
how'
sev
ery
thi
ngher
e?
Her:
withoutyoui
tsbor
ing.
.Can'
twai
tfory
our
nextholi
day.
.
Me:i
tsi
n2mont
hsandIwi
l
lbe7mont
hs
pr
egnant
Her:
shame..howar
eyouthough?Andbaby
daddy.
.hasheshowedupyet?
Ineverreal
l
ytol
dNonot hati
tsBandil
e
Thulani
,
herboss.Ican'
thavehert
hinkIwas
fucki
ngmybossal lal
ong.
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:t
hat
sgr
eathey
..
Me:
mhhm
Ist
art
edeati
ngwi
thhert
ell
i
ngmeaboutt
he
workgossi
p.
Her
:ohhshegotf
ir
edwi
thi
naweek
Me:
thenewP.
Aaf
terAv
e?
Her:
yeah.
.shewast
ooclumsy.
.pl
usAvewas
ki
ndofgoodsoshelef
tshoestoobi
gtobe
fi
l
led.
.
Me:
wow!
andy
ou?
youmanagi
ng?
alone?
Her
:yeah..Buti
tsomet
imesget
sabi
theav
yso
t
heyincreasedmypay.
.
Me:
yougogi
rl
!
Her
:yeah.
.Iev
enboughtanewcar
..
Me:
that
sgr
eat
..
Her
:yeahandi
-
Shewascutoffbythephoneringi
ng.She
pickedi
tupt
henplaceditbackaft
ersome
seconds.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Her
:MrThul
ani
isher
e..
God!
I'
m ner
vous
Shest
oodup.
..
Me:
j
ustr
elax
Her:
haveyoueverseenhim.
.he'
scut
eandall
buthegatthe"
don'tfuckwi
thmewhore"f
ace
Il
aughed,
Ihar
dlysawt
hat
,shesatdown.
.
Me:
ohhok.
.by
ethen
Her:don'tl
augh..Imightgetfi
red.
.Heoncefir
ed
thi
sot herreceptionistwehadbecauseshe
dir
ectedacal ltot hewrongdepart
ment..
Me:
what
?
Her:y
es..
hewasli
ke"howabouty
oudirecty
our
assout"andIwasthere,
wit
hmyhear
tbeati
ng
fastl
iket
hisni
ggathough!
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
nowr
unal
ong.
.y
oumi
ght
-
Shet
henst
oodup.
.
Her
:goodaf
ter
noonSi
r
It
urnedtowhoshewasgr
eeti
ng,anditwas
Bandi
le.
.Rocki
ngi
nhi
scasualwear.Nonowas
evenshaki
ng.
Ist
oodup.
.
Me:
seey
ouar
ound
Igotmybagandwalkedtothedoorwherehe
wasstandi
ngbuthedidn'
tmoveainch.
Me:
canIpl
easepass?
Hewalkedi
nsi
demaki
ngmest
epbackt
hen
l
ookedatNono.
Hi
m:ami
nut
e..
Nononoddedthenwal
kedoutf
astl
i
keshe
wasn'
tweari
ngheel
s.
Me:
I'
m gonnabel
atef
ormynextl
esson
Hi
m:t
her
e'sst
il
lpl
ent
yoft
imet
il
lthr
ee
Ikeptqui
teandj
ustl
ookedathi
m..
Hi
m:Ihaveregi
ster
edy oui
napr i
vat
ecompany
wher
ey ouwil
lal
way sdoyourcheckups
Me:ther
e'snot
hingwr
ongwi
tht
hepr
ivat
e
hospit
alIgoto
Hi
m:y
oumi
ghtnothav
eapr
obl
em wi
thi
t,
butI
do
Me:
andwhatexact
lyi
syourpr
obl
em?
Him:
youknowexactl
ywhatmyprobl
em is.
.can
Ipl
easehaveasayonmyunbor
nbaby ?
Me:
ok.
.i
fthat
'swhaty
ouwantFI
NE!
Hi
m:y
eah.
.andt
hecar
..
-
Me:
youkeepi
ngy
ourcar
..
I'
m nott
aki
ngi
t
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.
Me: no..
don'tKri
sme. .nokeepy ourcar
..
mat
ter
offactkeepev er
ything,Iwi
llseeyour
doctor.
.canInowpl easego?Youhav ea
meet i
ngt oatt
endto
Hi
m:y
oumakemesoweak.
.
Hemumbl
ed.
.
Me:I'
mr eal
l
ysorryIdi
dn'
ttel
lyouaboutt
he
pregnancy.
.ButIdi
dn'
twanttostr
essyou
furt
hermore..
Hi
m:soifIwassent
encedforl
if
einj
ail
..
you
wer
ejustgoi
ngtokeeply
ingtome?
Me:Iwasgoingtotell
you.
.andi
fyouwere
sentencedt
oli
feinjai
lwereyoust
il
lgoi
ngto
keepmeaway ?
Him:Idi
dt hatbecauseIdidn'
twantyout
o
comecl osetoapr i
son..Anddrawi
ng
unnecessaryattent
ion
Me:ohhwel l
goodf
oryoubecauseitdidn'
t
seem l
ikethatt
ome..
itj
ustseemedliketypi
cal
Bandil
eshutti
ngmeoutasalways.
.It
sy our
styl
eafteral
l
Hi
m:what
'st
hatsupposedt
omean?
Me:i
tssupposedtomeanjustt
hat
..
ever
yone
knewwherey ouwer
eexpectme..
ME!
Hi
m:Idontt
hinkt
hisi
sgoodf
ort
hebaby
Me:wel
lthenIbet
tergetgoi
ng!
dontt
alkt
ome
unl
essi
tsaboutthebaby
Isaidwalkingout.Iwipedmyt earsasIwalked
out,
ignori
ngev eryeyethatwasonme.Get ti
ng
tomycarIdr ovetoschool.Istil
lhad20
minutestil
lmyl essonsoIj uststayedi
nthecar
try
ingtocal m down.Theheadachewas
beginningtoform,qui
cklyIlookedf ormy
migrainesbutIcouldn'tf
indt hem butr
atherI
foundpainkill
ers.
Me:
thi
swi
l
lhav
etodo.
.
Itook2ofthem t
henjustclosedmyey
esasI
fel
titgetwor
sebythemi nute.
Afterawhi leIgotoutoft hecar ,
andcareful
l
y
walkedt omynextl esson.Isatatt hefrontt
o
avoidstrainingmyselffurther.Thewhole
l
ect ur
emymi ndwasn'tinplace,Iwasjusttr
ying
tofightthemi grai
neaway .Aftert
helesson
i
mmedi atelyIdrovet
ot her estaur
antwereQ
sai
dweshouldmeetup.Get
ti
ngthereI
sear
chedar
oundunti
lmyeyescaughthi
shand
ashewavedmeover.Iwal
kedther
eandsat
down.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi
Hi
m:l
ongday
Me:
youwon'
tbel
i
eve
Hi
m:howar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
didhesendy
ou?
Hi
m:nah.
.hedoesn'
tev
enknowI
'
m her
e
Me:
I'
m good
Hi
m:buthedi
dtel
lmewhathappened
Me:
wel
lgoodf
orwhoev
er
Hi
m:heshoul
dn'
thav
erai
sedhi
shandony
ou
Me:Ishoul
dn'
thav
ekeptt
hepr
egnancyf
rom
hi
m
Hi
m:st
il
l.
.l
ooknowwhathappened
Me:
whathappened?
Hi
m:youarel
eav
inghi
m..yout
heonl
ygood
t
hingt
hathasev
erhappenedt
ohim
Me:
i
tsf
ort
hebest
..Bestf
orhi
m andme
Him:
forhi
m nah.
.i
tsgoi
ngt
oki
l
lhi
m,hel
oves
youali
tt
let
oomuch
Me: Ilovehimtoo. .Somuchf orthatmat ter.
.I
knowImessedup. .andI'mr eall
yr eal
lysorryfor
that.Ifel
tdeadi nsidebef oreIfoundoutt hat
therewasababy ..
itwasntr eallyexciti
ngt he
mi nuteIfoundoutbutl ateroni tjustwas
somet hi
ngIlookedf orwardt o.IknowIshoul d
hav et ol
dhim butIt houghthehadal ottodeal
with,andIknowIwassel fi
sh.Lor d!WhenIsaw
himl astnight.
.Ihadmi xedemot i
onsbutIwas
glad..Ineededjusthi shug,Ineededhi mtel l
i
ng
meev erythi
ngisgoi ngtobeok. .
but..
IshookmyheadasIcl
umsi
l
ywi
pedawaymy
t
ear
s.
Me:
Iguesswenotmeantt
obe
Him:hewasj
ustangry.
.y
ouhangoutwi t
h
someonehedoesn'
tli
ke..
andy ouknowi t
too.
.hewasmadandupset .
.Imagineifi
twas
youinhi
sshoes.
.whatwouldyouhav edone?
Ishr
uggedasIwi
pedawaymyt
ear
s..
Me:Idon'tknow.
.Ihavehur thi
m enough..He
neverreall
ygotoverwhathappenedwi th
Venus..Andnowt hi
s..
I'
m setti
nghimf r
ee..he'
s
goi
ngt obef i
neonceher eali
zesIwasnot hing
butanunwant edcomplicati
oninhisli
fe
Him: he'snevergoi
ngtor eali
zethat
..
allthat
s
goingt ooccupyhismi ndisthatheruined
things,probabl
ythebestthingthathasev er
happenedt ohim..
butanywayI '
m nothereto
discusst hat.
.
Me:
ummhok
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Leah'
sbi
rt
hdayi
sin2mont
hs
Me:
planni
ngsomet
hing?
Hi
m:wel
lyeah.
.butIt
houghtwecoul
dpl
an
t
oget
her
Me:
thi
sisgoi
ngt
obef
un
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Ihav
eani
dea.
.
Me:
wel
ll
et'
sheari
t.
.
.
Iwalkedi
nathomeataround1800hrs,
the
headachewasbet
ternowbecauseIdrank
2mor epi
l
ls.
Getti
nginsi
deIwaswelcomedbyt hearomaof
foodatthedoorbutIwasnt
creall
yhungry.Q
hadboughtmef oodwhil
ewedi scussedLeah'
s
bir
thday
.
Me:
I'
m home!
Leahcameoutfr
om t
heki
tchenasIsatdown
onthecouch.
Her
:hey
..
Idi
dn'
tseey
ouatschool
Me:
ohhIat
elunchatSTCC.
.
Sher
aisedherey
ebr
ow.
.
Me:
wit
hNono
Her
:ohw.
.any
wayagi
ftcamef
ory
out
oday
..
Shewentinherroom thencanebackwit
ha
bi
g,v
erybi
gt eadybear
..
I'
m sur
eitwoul
dtake
hal
fspaceinmybed
Me:
fr
om?
Her
:Idontknow.
.butmyguessi
sBandi
l
e
Shehandittome,
toget
herwit
hthecard.I
twas
wri
tt
enIloveyouati
tschest
.Iopenedthecar
d,
i
twasBandile.
"Idontknowwhatt osayorwher etoevenbegin.
I
'mr eall
ysorr
yforev eryt
hing.
.Il
oveyouso
much. .y
oumightnotr eal
izeitbutIdo.Ifus
breakingupisgoingt omakey ouhappyt henso
bei t
..
pleaset
akecar eofourbaby .I
tstheonly
thingthatmatt
ersrightnow"
Iputasi
det
hecar
d..
Leah:
and?
Me:
wehav
eof
fi
cial
l
ybr
okenup
Her:
youknowIact
ual
l
ythoughtt
hatasal
way
s
youguysweregoi
ngt
omakeup
Me:
nott
hist
imear
ound.
.
.
Isatonthecouchwit
hSam avoidi
ngmy
motherandfather
seyesatal
lcost
.
Mom: whathappenedisadisappoi
ntment,
but
wearemov ingpastthat.Wearegoi
ngto
embracethisbaby,becausei
t'
sablessi
ng.Asa
famil
ywear egoingtostandbyyoursi
depast
thi
s.
Dad:
yes,wewillof
fery
outhebeatsuppor t
ever
..
thoughyoucomingtoschoolhere.
.wasa
badmi st
akeandwehav et
orecti
fyit
..
Me:
youar
emov
ingme?
Dad:
assoonasy
ougi
vebi
rt
h
Me:
whataboutmychi
l
d?
Dad:
yourmom wil
ltakecar
eofi
tasy
ouf
ocus
onyourschool
work..
Me:
no!no!
that
'snotgoingt
ohappen.
.IfI
'
m
movi
ng..I
'
m goingtotakemychi
ldwit
h
Mom:
Kri
sti
n!
Me:
Isai
dno!
I'
mtaki
ngherwi
thme
Dadsi
ghed.
.
Mom:
ok.
.y
ouwi
l
ltaket
hebabywi
th
Iexhal
edasIcal
meddown.
.
Mom:ok.
.t
her
e'sgoi
ngtobeameet ingwiththe
el
der
sin2weeksandy ourboyf
ri
endselders
hast
ocomeandpayf oryourdamages
Dad:
yeah
Sam squeezedmyhand.
Ist
oodupandwal
kedt
otheki
tchen,
wit
hSam
behi
ndme.
Hi
m:t
hatwentwel
l
..
Me:yeah..
Idon'
tknowhowBandil
eisgoi
ngto
feelaboutthedi
stancebet
weenhi
schi
ldand
him
Hi
m:he'
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine.
.
Me:
thi
sisal
sohi
schi
l
dify
oudontr
eal
i
ze
Him:Ithoughtyouguy
sbr
okeup.
.he'
sbusy
bangingwhor es
Me:i
tdoesn'
tmatter
..If
eel
heshoul
dAl
sohav
e
asayinhisunbor
nbaby'sl
i
fe
Hi
m:well
thatcanbedi
scussedatthe
meet
ing.
.hereal
l
ydi
dn'
tdeserveyou
Me:
canwenowt
alkaboutsomet
hingel
se?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.wher
e'sLeah?
Me:wit
hherboyf
ri
end.
.It
saSat
urdayandshe
wantedtogi
veusspace
Hi
m:herboy
fri
end?
Me:yeah.
.wer
eyouser
iousaboutmov
ingt
o
London?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
wit
hyourgi
rl
?
Hi
m:y
eah
Me:
what
'
sshesay
ing?
Hi
m:sheagr
ees.
.
Me:
wher
e'sAl
ex.
.Imeanwho'
sshewi
th?
Him:
atmydad'
s..Shewassupposedt
ogot
o
Uncl
eatMochudibutsher
efused.
.
Me:good.
.butdi
dn'
tyousayy
ourst
epmom
hat
esy ouguys.
.wel
lHat
esus?
Hi
m:Shesnotther
eatt
hemoment
..Gat
weshe
wentt
oThail
and
Me:
goodr
iddance
Him:
yespl
usi
fshedar
esmi
str
eatAl
exshewi
l
l
seeme
Me:
yourdadseemsl
i
keagoodper
son
Hi
m:y
eah.
.wannagof
ori
cecr
eams?
Me:y
eahwhynot
?Butwhataboutmom and
dad?
Hehel
dmyhandandwal
kedoutoft
heki
tchen
wi
thme..
Hi
m:wegoi
ngf
orsomef
reshai
r.
.
Mom:
ok
Wewal
kedout
,t
ohi
scar
.
Hedrovetothemall
boughtusalar
ge
cont
ainerofi
cecr
eam t
hendrovetosomequi
te
pl
ace.
Hemadeusseatbesi
dest
her
oad.
.
Hi
m:sowhatar
ewegoi
ngt
onamet
hebaby
?
Me:well
Iwasthinki
ngLet
habi
l
e,don'
tknow
aboutBandi
l
e..
Hi
m:Let
habi
l
e..Notbad
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:orwecanal
way
snameherLet
lhogonol
o
Ihi
thi
m pl
ayf
ull
y.
.
Me:
waswaba!
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:Idontknowwhyy
ouhat
ethatname
Me:
I'
m nott
alki
ngt
oyou.
.
Helaughed,
thent
ooksomethingfr
om Hi
s
pocket
,i
twaspict
ure.Hehanditt
ome..
Hi
m:l
ookwhatIf
ound.
.
I
twasmeandhi m whenwewer eyoung.Ihad
pi
gtai
l
s,weari
ngadr essandover
sizedfl
ipfl
ops
whi
lehim ontheotherhandwasinhisschool
uni
for
m..
Me:
ohhmyGod.
.Il
ooksoy
oung.
.
Hi
m:y
ouwer
e5
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
wher
edi
dyougett
his?
Hi
m:homeandohhl
ast
lyt
hisone.
.
Het ookoutt
heotherone.Ir
ememberedthat
one,Iwassti
l
ldoi
ngform2anditwasprice
gi
vingandasusualmeandhi m hadt
aken
awar ds.
Me:
thi
sdaywasf
un
Hi
m:y
eah.
.RememberThompsonf
ami
l
ygoal
s?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
wenakana..
Ido.
.gonear
ethose
moment
s..
itwasn'
tthesamewithouty
ou
Hi
m:y
eah.
.buty
ouhadTshepi
sang.
.
Me:
yeah.
.j
eezIHaventhear
dmybestiesvoi
ce
i
naweek..
letmecallhi
m..Kanahesayshe'
s
t
hebaby'
sGodfat
her
Sam laughedasIdi
aledhi
snumber.Inever
real
lytel
lTshepi
ealotonwhat'
sgoingon
becauseknowinghi
m. .
hewil
lbesuperst
ressed
l
ikethethingsarehappeni
ngtohim.Tohim
ever
ythi
ngi sokjustt
hatmeandBandileare
havi
ngslightprobl
ems.Hepickedupaftera
whil
e..
Hi
m:hey
Me:
chomza
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:how'
sthebaby
?
Me:
i
tsGood.
.
Hi
m:andt
hemeet
ing?
Me:
wentwel
l
Hi
m:gr
eat
..
youandBandi
l
e?
Me'
ummhwe.
.-
Hi
m:br
okeupr
ight
?
Me:
pret
tymuch
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:
nah.
.i
tsl
i
fe
Hi
m:wannahangoutt
omor
row?
Me:
yeah.
.whynot
?
Hi
m:good.
.Iwi
l
lbet
her
eint
hemor
ning
Me:
shar
p..
Hi
m:whatshoul
dIbr
ingf
ory
ou?
Me:
ummhchocol
ate
Hi
m:ok.
.onl
y?
Me:andal
otofot
hert
hings.
.Youwi
l
lfi
gur
eit
out
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.seey
ou
Me:
yeah.
.
ThenIhungup.
.
Sam:
feel
Bet
ternow?
Me:
yeah.
.muchbet
ter
.
LEAH
.
Q:
what
?Ican'
theary
ou.
.
Me:
Qui
ncywher
einGod'
snamear
eyou?
Q:
"Shapohoezi
tdaar
somany
ooooor
a!?
Fedek’
hambani
?
Ket
shwer
eyacase.
Ar
eyekomagogokel
esegel
etsakoLondon"
Hest art
edsi
ngingwiththemusici
nthe
background,andr
ightther
eIknewniggawas
drunk,i
fonl
yIknewwhathewassi nging.
Me:
babewher
ear
eyou?
Hi
m:homeee.
.we.
.we-
goi
nhome
Me:ar
ey oudr
ivi
ng?Qpl
easedontdr
ive
dr
unk..
it
snotsafe
Hi
m:Bandi
l
e..
Ther
ewassi
l
ent
..
Me:
Bandi
l
eisdr
ivi
ng?
Hi
m:no.
.
Me:
babypl
easepul
lov
er.
.t
ell
him-
Ihadsqueals,
l
ikebrakepadsmaki
ngtheti
res
squeal
ingagainstt
heroad.Myhandsst
art
ed
shaki
ng.
Me:
babe?
Q?
Ther
ewasj
ustsi
l
ence.
.
Me:
Q?babecany
ouhearme.
.
Ihear
dsomemumbl
i
ng.
.
Me:
babey
out
her
e?
Hi
m:f
uck!
yeah.
.
Me:
ThankGod.
.Ar
eyouguy
sok?
Hi
m:Bandi
l
e..Bandi
l
e!
Me:
i
sheok?
Him:It
hinkhe'
scoll
apsed.
.Ohhambul
ancei
s
here.
.f
uckmyey es!
.
Istoodbesi
deshim ast
henursebandagedhi
s
hand,t
henoffshewasgone.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Me:
whathappened?
Hi
m:y
ourf
ri
endi
swhathappened
Me:dontbl
ameitonKr
is,
thatguyputher
t
hroughalotofshi
t
Him:I
'
m notbl
amingher,
I'
mjustsay
ingwe
doi
ngthi
sbecauseyourf
ri
endlef
t
Me:
whowasdr
ivi
ng?
Him:
me.
.hehadpassedout
..
wehi
tsome
ani
mal
Me:
oh?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Idontev
engetwher
eitcamef
rom.
.
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ouok
Hi
m:how'
sBandi
l
e?
Me:
theyar
est
il
ldeal
i
ngwi
thhi
m..
buthewi
l
lbe
f
ine
Hest
oodup.
.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgoseehi
m..
Me:
thepol
i
cear
egoi
ngt
olocky
ouupf
ort
his
Hi
m:gi
vet
hem af
ewt
housandsandi
tsov
er
Me:
can'
tbel
i
evey
ouj
ustsai
dthat
..
WewalkedtowhereBandi
l
ewas,thedoct
or
wasst
il
latt
endinghi
m sowestoodoutsi
det
he
r
oom.JustthenmyphoneranganditwasKr
is.
Q:
pleasedon'
ttell
her.
.shewi
llstar
tthinki
ng
t
hathe'sadrunkardandwil
lhatehim even
more
Me:
shedoesn'
that
ehi
m..
shel
oveshi
m
Q:
please
Me:Ican'
tl
ietoher,
samewayy oucoul
dn'
tli
eto
Bandil
eaboutthepregnancy
..Iknowyoutol
d
hi
m
Q:okbutpl
easemakehi
mlookgood.
.pai
nthi
m
good
Ir
etr
eat
edf
rom hi
m abi
tthenanswer
ed.
Me:
hey
Her:
hey.
.st
il
lupf
ort
hemov
ie.
.It
sst
art
ingi
n
30minut
es
Il
ookedatQ,
cont
empl
ati
ngbet
weent
hem.
.
Her
:i
tsok.
.wecanal
way
swat
chsomeot
her
t
ime..
Me:
nah.
.wewat
chi
ttoday
Her
:ohhok.
.wher
ear
eyou?
Me:
athospi
tal
.
.Qgoti
nami
noracci
dent
Her
:t
henst
aywi
thhi
m
Me:
no.
.hewi
l
lbef
ineal
one.
.
Her
:comeon.
.
Me:
nah
Her
:washeal
one?
Me:
ummmh.
.
Her
:Leah.
.hewaswi
th-
..
washewi
thBandi
l
e?
Me:yesandt
heyar
eok.
.i
tsj
ustami
nor
acci
dent
Her
:hav
eyouseenhi
m?
Me:I
'm aboutt
o..
dontwor
ryy
our
sel
f.
.Thi
s
peopl
ear eok
Her
:pl
easecal
lmeaf
tery
ouhav
eseenhi
m..
Me:
ok.
.butdontwor
ryy
our
sel
f
Her
:ok.
.
Ihungupt
henwalkedbacktoQwhowas
tal
ki
ngwit
hthedoctornow.
.
Dr:
sowearej
ustgoi
ngtokeephiminsot obe
ablet
onot
eanychangeandwewi l
lrel
easehi
m
tomorr
ow.
.Apar
tfr
om thatsl
i
ghtconcussi
on
he'
sfi
ne
Q:
okt
hanky
oubutcanweseehi
m?
Dr
:yeah.
.butheneedst
orest
Q:
ofcause.
.
Thedoct
orthenwal
kedawayaswegotin.He
wasokbuthadabandagei
nhishead.
Q:
dude!
Bandi
l
e:Q
Q:
wet
houghty
ourasswasdead
Bandi
l
elaughed.
.
Bandi
l
e:nowIknowmyhat
ers.
.
Bandi
l
elookedatme.
.
Bandi
l
e:Leah
Me:
I'
m gl
ady
ouok.
.bot
hofy
ou
Q:
thedoct
orsai
dyouar
esl
eepi
ngher
e
Bandi
l
e:what
?
Q:
sadt
obey
ou
Bandi
l
e:t
hat
sshi
t.
.I
'
m notsl
eepi
ngher
e
Q:
I'
m notgonnasaynon
Bandi
l
e:I'
m sleepingonmybedtodayplus
mom iscomingt omorr
ow.
.Can'
taffor
dherto
fi
ndmehere
Q:
yeah.
.any
waybabey
ou.
.-
Me:
I'
m goi
nghome
Ql
ookedatme.
.
Me:Ihav
eamov i
edat
ewi
thKr
isandI
'
m not
bai
l
ingoutonher
Q:
ok.
.
Me:
yeah.
.by
e
Ikissedhi
scheekt
henwal
kedout
,Ipassed
somechi cwhowaswal
ki
ngtowar
dsBandiles
room.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Q:
arey
ousur
eyouokenought
osl
eephome?
Me:
yeah.
.Ineedt
owi
nherback
Q:
andwhatexact
lyi
syourpl
an?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
.butIhav
etohav
eher
Q:
younev
erdi
dthi
sbef
ore
Me:
Ineedher
Q:
arewet
hatdesper
ate?
Me:Il
oveher
..
andIcan'
tl
oseher
..
itwi
l
lbet
he
endofme
Q:ar
ereal
lywhi
ppedai
n'
twe?
itsnotev
encut
e
anymore.
.It
sscar
y
Me:
i
tsal
way
sbeenscar
yfr
om t
hest
art
..
Q:
whataboutKhany
a?
Me:
he'
snotgoi
ngt
obackof
f,
soIwi
l
lmakehi
m
JustthenthedooropenedandTheodor
e
walkedin.
Q:
andt
hen?
sti
l
lbangi
ngt
hiswhor
e?
Me:
nah
Theosmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:boy
s!
Q:
Igi
veup
Q:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Theo:
camet
oseeBands
Ql
aughed.
.
Me:
didn'
tImakemy
sel
fcl
earenough?
Theo:
Icomeher
einpeacenotbecauseIwant
you.
.
Me:
goodbecauseIdontwannaseey
ou
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Theo:
Bandi
l
e..
Me:
ey!
phuma!
Shegotst
art
ledbyv
oice.
.
Me:
youst
il
lher
e?
Shei
mmedi
atel
ywal
kedout
..
Q:
youf
uckedherdi
dn'
tyou?
Me:
almost
..ThenSam came.
.
Q:y
eah.
.Youcan'tbehi
tt
inghissi
stert
henhe
hastoj
ustseatbackandrel
ax
Me:
Ishoul
dn'
thav
esl
appedher
Q:
yes.
.Ihear
dpr
egnantwomanl
ovesex.
.got
ry
i
t
Il
ookedathi
m..
Q:
shehasn'
thadsexinal
most6months..
she
won'
tref
use.
.f
uckyourwaybacki
ntoherhear
t
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
you'
redogmani
gga.
.ar
eal
onef
ort
hat
mat
ter
Hi
m:I
'
mtel
l
ingy
ou
Me:notheonlywayIwil
lwinherbackisby
pr
ov i
ngthatwegoodforeachother
..
.
KRI
S
.
Me:
i
sheok?
Iaskedimmediatel
yasLeahgotinsi
dethe
house.ApartofmewishIdidn'
tcare.
.Iwi
shI
j
ustdidn'
tcare.
Leah:
yeah
Me:
whathappened?
Leah:
theygotdr
unkt
hat
swhathappened
Me:
drunk?
Leah:
yeah.
.don'
twor
ryabouti
t
Me:
whydoIst
il
ll
ovehi
m?Ihat
emy
sel
ffori
t
Leah:
Ij
ustthi
nkyouar
etryi
ngsohardt
oshut
hi
m outbutdeepdownyousti
l
llov
ehim deepl
y
Me:
Ij
ustwant
..
.wantt
ost
ophur
ti
ng.
Iwalkedt
omyroom andsatonmybed.Af
tera
whil
eIfoundmy
sel
frereadi
ngourol
d
conver
sati
ons.Nomat t
erwhatIlov
ehim,
that
wasnotgoingtochangebutmymi ndwas
al
readymadeup..Idi
dn'tdeser
vehim.Wewere
bett
erwit
houteachother.
.
*
*2MONTHSLATER*
*
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t53
KRI
S
.
.
Iwashedmyf aceagai
n,tr
y i
ngtogetmy
versi
onbacktonormal.Il
ookedatmy selfon
themirr
or,
theheadachewasact inguprealbad.
Itookadeepbreat
h,Icouldn'
ttakemore,i
twill
beov er dosingandIdi dn'twantt odoany thing
thatmi ghthur tmychi ldinanyway .Iwal ked
backt ot her eceptionwereIl eftBandi le.We
wer eher efort hecheckup.Thel astmont hs
havebeen. .Wel lok.BandileandIhav ebeen
onlycl oseduet othechild.Hewasj ustshowi ng
suppor tinanundeni abl
eway .Iwal kedt ot he
recept i
ont hinkingaboutmyl astvisittot he
doctor ,duet otheconst antnauseaand
vomi ti
ngandnott oment iont heheadachesand
versionbl urri
ng.Ihadt houghti twasj ustpar tof
thepr egnancysoIwentt ot hedoct orhopi ngI
willgetsomet hingt ost
opt hesy mpt oms
becauset heywer ebecomi ngmor eandmor e
const ant.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Dr
:soy
ourr
esul
tsar
eback.
.
Me:ok.
.i
sitt
hepr
egnancy
?It
smyf
ir
st
pr
egnancy
Dr
:wel
li
tsnott
hepr
egnancy
..Youoncet
alked
abouty
oubei
ngdi
agnosedwi
thami
grai
ne
Me:yes,
but
..t
heheadaches.
.Arenotthatmuch
f
requentanymore..AssoonasIdri
nkthe
migr
ainestheystop
Dr
:who'
syournextofki
n?
Me:
i
sther
esomet
hingwr
ongDoc?
Dr:
yourmigrai
nesgotoutoforder
..
wearegoi
ng
tor
unaf ewmor et estt
henhav
easpeci
ali
st
l
ookatyoubuti tseemsl i
keat
umorhas
devel
oped..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
that
sabsur
d..
Dr:wejustneedt ov er
ifyacoupleofthingsbut
there'
sasi gnthatitmi ghtbeatumorbuti t
s
sti
llati
tsearlystage..that
'swhyconstant
nauseaandv omiti
ng.Thenauseaandv omi
ting
areonlyfrequentinf i
rstsemesterofpregnancy
notatthisstageMi ssMacv er
dana.
Il
ookedathi
m speechl
ess.
Dr:
thesymptomsofpregnancyar
ealmost
si
mi l
art
othoseofami gr
aine,
soi
tsal
waysa
casetohavethem mi
xedup.
Me:
sowhati
fIhav
ea.
.abr
aint
umort
henwhat
?
Dr:
asurgerywil
lhavetobeperfor
medt o
removeitandIthi
nkifyouhavethetumorwe
mighthavecaughtitear
lysoi
twillbemuch
easy.
.
Me:
whataboutmychi
l
d?
Dr:t
hissurger
ycanaf f
ecttheunbornbaby ,
so
youwi l
lhavetoundergoearl
ybirt
h..
throughc-
secti
onandt hebabywi l
lhavet
of i
nishit
s
producti
onintheglass.
.
Iwi
pedawaymyt
ear
s..
Me:whati
f..
whati
fIdont.
.dontwantt
he
sur
gery.
.It
stooear
lyforher
Dr:
del
ayi
ngtheNeur
osur
gerywil
lputy
oui
na
l
otofri
skasthet
umorwil
lkeepgrowi
ngMi
ss
Macver
dana.
.
Me:
but
..
she'
snotr
eadyy
et.
.
Dr:
wehaveenoughequi
pmentt
okeepher
goi
ng.
..
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
AsIappr oachedt herecepti
onIcoul dseehow
worri
edheseemedashewat chedmeget
cl
oser.Ihav en'
ttoldanyoneaboutt his,
andi
evenmadesur ethatthedoct ordoesnotl eak
myconf i
dent i
ali
nf or
mat i
ontoany one
especial
l
ymyf ami l
y.Thiswil
l j
usttearthem
apartandIknowt heywillwantmet odoaC-
secti
onandneur osur gery
Ismi
l
edbr
ight
lyasIst
oodbef
orehi
m..
Me:
weupnext
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
arey
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Ismi
led,buthedidn'
t,
hejustlookedatme
maki
ngmef eel
exposed.Itsli
kehecouldj
ust
seet
hroughmeeasi l
y.Icouldn'tl
ookathi
min
theeye,
Icoul
dn'taf
fordhim knowi
ngbecauseI
knowhe'sgoingtotri
pthenwanttodragmef or
help.Heti
l
tedmyheadsoIl ookathi
m.
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
wit
hwhat
?
Him:Iknowwenott ogetherany
mor eandI
respectt
hatbutIloveyouandifanythi
ng
happenst oyour
ightbeforemynoiseIwon't
neverforgi
vemyself
..Areyouok?i
sev er
ythi
ng
ok?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne!
let
'sgo
Iwalkedawayf rom him af t
ersnapping,t
houghI
regr
et t
editbutIjustwant edtohimt ostop.I
bli
nkedawaymyt earsasIwal kedtothe
doctorsoffi
ce.Thiswasoursecondt ocoming
hereactuall
y,t
hef ir
stt i
mewasmont hagoand
wellthebabyisst i
llbreach.Thefir
sttime
thi
ngswer everytensebet weenus, andnowI
mustsayi tsabitbet t
er.
Iknockedthengoti
nwi
thhim behi
ndme.The
doctorst
oodupaswegotinsi
de.Itwasashe
butwasIndian.
Her
:Mi
ssMacv
erdanaandMrThul
ani
.
.
Weshookhandswi
thherasshegav
eusa
br
ightsmi
l
e.
Shegest
uredmet
othebedwer
eIwal
kedt
o
thenl
ayther
e.
Dr
:howar
ewe?
Me:
wear
efi
ne
Dr
:t
hat
sgood.
.
Shecamet owar
dsmeasBandilest
oodbesi
des
thebedlooki
ngatme,
Ilookedawayav
oidi
ng
hiseyes.
Dr
:r
aisey
ourt
opabi
t.
.
Ir
aiseditt
henshecamewit
hthegel,
Bandi
l
e
al
way swantst
odotheul
tr
asound.
Myhear
twasj
ustf
araway
,Il
ookedatt
he
screenasshev iewedmybaby .Thet hought
thatImayhav ebraintumorbrokemyhear t
furt
her .Whatifsomet hi
nghappenst ome?Thi s
wasn' tthewayIi maginedmyl i
fe.Herheart
beatingwasn' tsostrong,
Ifel
ttearswetmy
cheeks.I tf
eltli
keIwasf ai
li
ngmyownchi ld.I
l
ookedatt hedoct or
..
Me:
whyi
sherhear
tbeatf
aint
?
Dr:
thebabycat
chesonwhat
everyougoi
ng
t
hroughKri
sti
n,t
hingsl
i
kest
ressand-
Me:
soi
tsmyf
aul
t?
Dr
:wellnotexactlybuty oucantryavoi
ding
st
ressfult
hings,t
ryexer ci
singandavoi
ding
overworki
ngy ourselfatanycost.
.andalsoshe'
s
st
ill
breachandatt histi
mewewi l
lhavetodoa
C-
section
Inoddedwi
pingmyt
ear
sof
f.
.
Bandi
l
e:y
ouok?
Me:
yes.
.I
'
mfi
ne
Theheadachehadgot
tenwor
sebutIcoul
dn'
t
tel
lHi
mt hat
..
Bandi
l
e:ok
Afterawhi l
et hedoctorgav emeawi perto
wipemy selfbutBandi l
et ooki
tanddeci dedto
doi t
,hewipedmyhuget ummyt henhelpedme
stepdownf rom thebed.Thechemi st
rycouldn'
t
reall
ybeav oidedwhenhet ouchedme,the
connecti
onwasj uststrong.
Iignoredi
tasIsatonthechai
rsosheexpl
ains
tomewhatexact lyImustdot
okeepmybaby
safe.Shewentabouteati
ngheal
thyand
exerci
singregul
arl
y.
AfterthatIwalkedwi t
hBandi let
ohiscarashe
heldmyhand.Heopenedt hecardoorforme
thenIgotin.Heal sodidt hensoonwewer e
dri
v i
ngaway .IwishedIwasathomel isteni
ng
tothesongst hatbringmenot hi
ngbutmor e
depressiontomy selforjustlayi
ngonmybed
try
ingt ostandupagai nstthemigrai
nesbut
rat
herwewer
eli
steni
ngtosomet
rapsongs
andhewassi
ngi
ngalong.
Thedev
ilkeept
rynacomeconquerme
Smoki
n'OGandt
heFr
ont
oleaf
Dr
oppi
n'adeucei
nthePur
eLeaft
ea
Idon'
tgott
imef
ornof
ool
ery
I
'
m'boutt
ogodr
oponsomej
ewel
l
ery
Hedi dn'tt
aket heroutet hatIusuall
ytakehome
butratherhet ookadi fferentone.Idi
dn'tsay
anything,j
ustkeptqui te,Ididn'
tevenhav ethe
energyt ofightwi t
hhi m.Il ookedathim,he
didn'
tlookanydi ff
erent ,helookedli
keBandi l
e
theoldv ersion.Hedr ovef oraboutanhourorso
thenfinall
yst oppedatsomebui ldi
ng,itl
ooked
adoubl est orey.Hegotof fthecarthencamet o
mydoorandopenedi tforme.
Hi
m:comewi
thme.
.
Il
ookedathi
m,conf
used.
Me:Bandi
l
ewhatarewedoingher
e?y
oudo
knowIhaveLeah'
spar
tyt
oplanri
ght
?
Hi
m:Kr
ispl
easecome.
.
Hest uckhishandoutforme.Ir el
uctant
lytook
i
tt henheledmei nsi
det hehouse.I
twasr eall
y
beautiful
,beaut
if
ulmoret hanhishouse.I
l
ookedar oundashedi sappearedsomewher e
thencamebackaf t
erawhi lewit
hsome
env el
ope.
Him:
sinceyouandfamil
ywantt
okeepme
awayfrom mydaught
erIhadt
ospeakwi
thmy
l
awyer.
Bandil
e'sunclesreallydi
dgot omyfamilyand
hepaidforthedamages, thatswherehes
uncle'
swer etol
dt hatIwillbemov i
ngaway
oncethebabyi sbor n.Surpri
singl
yhedidn'
tfli
p
ortr
ip,hejustrespondedwi t
hanodwhenIt ol
d
him.Iwasact uall
ysur pr
isedbecauseI
expectedaf i
ght.
.
Me:
whati
sthi
s?
Hi
m:custodydocument
s..Howwewi
l
lshar
e
t
hechil
d..
Me:
Bandi
l
eyouknow.
.Dadi
stheonewho.
.-
Him:Iknowt
hat
swhyIneedy
out
osignt
hat
,so
thatmaybet
hel
awwil
lbeonmysi
dewhenI
needtoseemychi
l
d.
Me:
ok
Hehandt
heenv
elopet
ome,
Iopenedi
t.
.
Him:goandr eadi
tthensigni
fyouagree.
.Iwant
thebabytobewi t
hme2mont hsin7mont hs.
Andwhent hechil
disgoingtoschool
,
duringall
schoolhol
idaysshewill
bewithme..
Me:
ok.
.
Him:yeah.
.Ihav
eafeel
ingi
fIdontdot
hisy
our
famil
ywi l
ldeni
eymethepr
ivi
leget
oseemy
chi
ld.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
e..Ok!
letmesi
gn.
.
It
ookt
hem t
hensear
chedf
orapeni
nmybag.
Me:
wher
e?
Him:i
nt hosedot
sineachandeverypagebut
wait
..Letmecallsomeonetowit
nessthis
becauseIdontwanttobeaccusedofforci
ng
you
Me:
whatdoy
out
akemef
or?
Him:yourdaddoesn'
tli
kemer emember.
.
Probablyhewil
ldoanythi
ngtotakemeoutof
thepict
ure.
.Can'
tIkeepadvancesinor
der?
Il
ookedathi
m,al
lIwant
ednowwast
ogo
home..
Me:
okfi
neBandi
l
e..Pl
easebequi
ckIwantt
o
gohome.
Hegotoutsi
dethenaf
terawhi
lecaneback
wit
hsomeone,l
ookedl
ikeagar
denboy
especi
all
ywi
ththewayhewasdressed.
Him:ummhKr ist
hisi
smygardenboyand
housekeeper
,Mazwi,
hest
aysatthecot
tage
behi
ndthehouseandMazwi,t
hisismy
woman.
.hewi
l
lbet
hewi
tness.
.
Inodded.
.t
hengrabbedt hepenandpaperand
si
gnedont hedott
edlinesandsodidtheMazwi
guythenl
astlyBandi
le.Mazwiexcusedhi
mself
assoonaswewer edone.
Me:
canInowpl
easego.
.
Henoddedasheputt
hedocument
sbacki
nthe
env
elope.
Hi
m:ar
eyouhungr
y?
Me:
Iwantt
ogohome
Hi
m:andt
hen?
Me:
Icanal
way
scal
lmychauf
feur
Hegavemeaseri
ousl
ookbutIwasjustt
oo
madtoevenpl
ayt
hepartofbei
ngscar
ed.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo.
.
Hesaidwal
ki
ngout,
Ifol
lowedbehi
ndhimt
hen
heopenedt
hedoorformesoIgetin.
Igoti
nandsodi
dheandt
henwest
art
ed
dri
vinghome.Iwasqui t
et hrought hewhole
j
our ney,Ijusthadot herthingst odeal
wit
h. .t
hingslikemyheal t
h.Themomenthe
parkedi nthegar age,Igotoffhi scarwithmy
bag.That showmuchIwant edhi mtoleaveme
al
one.That showmuchIj ustwant edt
obe
awayf r
om hi mf ort
hel ast2mont hsbecauseit
hurtlovinghi m somuchbut ..butnothavinghi
m.
Iwal kedtot heelevatorandgoti n.Themoment
i
tclosedIexhal ed..
Get
ti
ngintheflatLeahwasi
nfr
ontoft
het
v
hol
dingi
cecream.
Me:
hey
Her
:hi
,
howdi
ditgo?
Me:
ok.
.j
ustneedt
oav
oidst
ress
Her
:ok.
.
Me:ummhletmefr
eshenup.
.I
'
m meet
ing
someonet
oday.
.
Her
:who?
Q?
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:st
il
ldi
scussi
nghowy
ouwi
l
ltut
orKi
m?
Me:
yeah.
.
Qcouldn'
ttel
lLeahexactlyaboutt
heplanwe
hadforherbi
rthdayandweal wayshadtomeet
upsoasanexcusehej ustt
oldherIwil
lbe
tut
ori
nghissistert
hat'
swhywemeet .
Her
:Kr
iswhat
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
wit
hwhat
?
Her
:youseem muchmor ecloserwi
thQthis
day
s..Al
wayshavingsecretmeeti
ngs.
.Areyou.
.
-
Me:
sl
eepi
ngwi
thy
ourboy
fri
end?
Her
:whatam Isupposedt
othi
nk?
Me:youaresupposedt
otr
ustme..
whywoul
dI
wannafuckwit
hBandil
esf
ri
end?
Her
:idon'
tknow!
Shescr
eamed..Sheseemedfrust
rat
ed.She
st
oodupandwal kedtoherr
oom.Somet hi
ng
wasbother
ingherIcoul
dsee.
Ifoll
owedher,
Icoul
dn'taf
for
dherangryor
upsetifherbi
rt
hdaywastomorrow.Iknocked
softl
yonherdoorthengotinaf
terIhear
dno
response.
Shewaslyi
ngonherbed,wi
thherf
acedown.I
cr
awledandlaybesi
desher
..
Me:
hey
..
what
'swr
ong?
Shesni
ff
edt
hent
urnedt
olookatme.
.
Her
:If
eel
soweakr
ightnow.
.
Shesai
dtr
yingsohar
dtoshi
eldawayt
het
ear
s
fr
om maki
ngthei
rwayout
.
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Her:mom..
she.
.Shemov edoutfr
om..
home
becausedadabusesheralot
..
evenwhenIwas
home.Ifi
twasn'
tforyourdadIwoul
dn'tbe
here.
.Shemovedoutaf ewdaysagobutnow
shesinhospit
alaft
erget
ti
ngsever
elybeat
enby
thatmonsteraft
erfol
l
owingher
..
Me:
didshet
ell
thepol
i
ce?
Her:noshedidn'
t!Shel
iedabouti
tal
l.
.Idont
knowhowshewant storeal
izet
hismanis
goingtoki
llher
Me:
may
bet
her
e'sar
easonshesst
ayi
ng.
.
Her
:Idontknowwhatt
odoany
mor
e..
Me:howaboutyouaskhert
otel
lyouwhyshes
st
ayingbecausei
tsnosecr
ett
here'
sareason.
.
Her:
andQhasbeendi
stantl
atel
y.
.I'
m sor
ryI
knowyouwi
llnev
erdothatt
ome
Me:i
tsok..pl
uswhatwil
lhebedoi
ngwitha
hugegirl
li
kemewhi l
ehecanalwayshavesexy
gi
rl
slikeyou?
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Her
:huge?thi
spr
egnancysui
tsyoumor
ethan
any
thing.
.Youst
il
ll
ookBeautif
ul.
.
Me:
dontl
i
e..
letmegobat
h..
Her
:ok.
.howwasBandi
l
e?
Me:
Idontev
enwannat
alkabouti
t.
.
Her
:t
hatbad?
Me:
youwon'
tbel
i
eve.
.Letmebat
h
Istoodupandwalkedtomyr oom buti
nstead
oftaki
ngashowerIlookedf ormypill
sthen
drankthem aft
ert
hatIj
ustlayonthebedand
l
etmy selfdr
ownmy sel
finsleep.
Openi
ngmyey esIr
eal
izedmyphoner
ingi
ng
besi
desme,
thatmusthavewokenmeup.I
answer
edbecausei
twasQ.
Me:
hi
Hi
m:hey
..
youst
il
ll
andi
natmycr
ib?
Me:
yeahj
ustf
ell
asl
eep.
.onmyway
..
Hi
m:ok
I
mmedi
atel
yIwokeup,
theheadachewasgone,
I
t
ookmytoi
l
etr
iesandwentt
ot akeashower
thenaf tert
hatwor ecomf ort
ableclothes.Just
sweat pantsandahoodi ewi t
hconv erse.We
wer ejustgoingtobedoi ngthetouchup' st oday .
Afterbat hi
ngIwentt oLeahsr oom andf ort he
fi
rstt i
meIf oundherpr ay i
ngkneelingbef ore
herbed, shewasev encryingoutherf eeli
ngst o
God, Iwasnev erintoreli
giousthatmuch. .yesI
woul dgot ochur chbutitwasal lbecausemom
goesnotbecauseIv olunteeredonmyown.I
walkedandknel tbesideshernotpr ayi
ng, after
awhi l
eshewasqui tebutherey eswer est il
l
closed,sheev enhadt hecr yi
nghiccups.
Thenatl
astsheopenedt
hem.
.
Her
:howl
onghav
eyoubeent
her
e?
Me:l
ongenough.
.Don'
twor
ry,
I
'm sur
eGodgot
t
his.
.
Her
:yeah.
.goi
ng?
Me:
yeah.
.Iwi
l
lbebacki
n2hour
sorso.
.
Shenoddedt
henhel
pedmest
andup.
Her
:ar
eyoust
il
lgoi
nghomet
hedayaf
ter
t
omorrow?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:canIst
il
lcomewi
th?
ifi
tsokt
hati
s..
Me:i
tsmoret
hanok.
.myf
ami
l
ywoul
dlov
eto
hav
ey ou
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:t
henI
'
m sur
ecomi
ngwi
th.
.
.
Iparkedinf rontofQ'shousebesi desawhi t
e
Lambor ghinihuracane,Ididn'tevenbother
my sel
f,i
twascl earenought heycanaffor
d
sportcars,Ithengotoutandwal kedtowards
thedoort henknocked.Af terawhi l
ethedoor
gotopenedandKi m openedup.Shewas
wear i
ngat ightreapedjeanwi thanarmless
croptop,herhairwasev enni ceandsheev en
hadmake- up.Surpri
singlyitwasar ound
2000hrsormay beshewasgoi ngsomewher e.
Her
:Kr
is!
Shesmi
l
edandIr
etur
nedi
t.
.
Me:
hi,
i
sQar
ound?
Her
:yespl
easecomei
n..
Sheopenedt hedoorwidersotocreatespace
forme.Igotinsi
dethehouset hensheledme
outsi
dethroughthebackwhereQwasbuthe
wasn'tal
onesurpri
singly
.Hewaswi th
Bandil
e,t
heywereseat i
ngontheoutdoor
couches.
iwishedtotakeaU-tur
nbutt hent heyhad
al
readynoticedme.BravelyIwalkedupt othem
wit
hKi m behindme,
j
ustt henitcl
ickedwhyshe
wasal l
dressedup,
herstupidcrushonBandi le.
Ismi
l
edasIappr
oachedt
hem.
Q:
Kri
s!
Me:
Q..
Il
ookedatBandi
l
ewhowasl
ooki
ngatme
cl
osel
y.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryIf
ell
asl
eepwhenIgothome.
.
Q:
Ithoughtyouhadfor
got
ten.
.MeandBandi
l
e
ev
enwentt olookatt
hedecor
ati
ons
Me:
ohhwel
lGood.
.Ihopet
heyar
eok?
Al
lalongIwaslookingatBandil
e
wonderi
ng..
whatifheneverwent..
nowhat
woul
dhav ehappenedifIdi
dn'tki
llhi
m butI
di
dn'
thaveachoice.Hewasgoi ngtokil
lus.
.
He'sbodyj
ustf
lushedinmymind.
.Hewasn't
deadwhenIshothim ont
hel
eg,I
'mtheone
whokill
edhi
m.
"
youar
egonnabel
i
kehi
m?Amonst
er?
"
He'
swor
dsr
angi
nmymi
nd.
.
Icamebackt
ot hewor
ldwhenIf
eltasof
tpat
thatmademejumpabit.
.
Me:
ohhGod!
Iwasev
enshaki
ngandsweat
ingal
readyand
hav
ingshor
tbr
eat
hs.
Idi
dn'tevenr
eal
i
zeBandi
l
ewasbesi
desme
al
ready..
Hi
m:babey
ouok?
Me:
I.
.I
..
he.
.I
..
Iwasj
ustt
ooshaken.
.
Hi
m:br
eat
h..
Kim agl
assofwat
er!
Shehurr
iedinsidethehouseasBandilemade
meseatont hechairandafterawhil
eKim
camebackwi thagl assofwater
.Bandil
emade
medrinkit
,andaf t
erawhi l
eIhadjustcalmed
down.
Bandi
l
e:whati
sit
?
Me:
not
hing.
.
Icoul
dseehewasf
rust
rat
ed.
.
Bandi
l
e:thi
syour"
it
snot
hing'
gamei
spi
ssi
ng
meoff!
Me:
i
tsnot
hing.
.
Helookedatmef
orawhi
l
e,nott
aki
nghi
sey
es
of
fme. .
Bandi
l
e:Qseey
ouar
ound.
.
Thenoffhewasgone,ithurtseeinghim wal
k
away.ForsomereasonIwant edhimt ostay
,I
neededhimtost
aybuthewasal r
eadygone.I
l
ookedbackatQwi pi
ngof fmyt ear.
Q:
arey
ousur
eyouok?
Me:
yeah
Q:
hel
ovesy
ou
Me:y
eahummh.
.di
dyoucal
lthecat
eri
ng
company
?
Q:y
eah.
.ev
eryt
hingi
sinor
dersoally
ounowy
ou
havet
odoi smakesur
eshearr
ives
Me:
yeah.
.
Q:
yeahummht
hecake?
.
LEAH
.
Isatonfrontoft
hetv,
remember i
ngmy
chil
dhoodmemor i
es,di
ggingthem outf
rom
whereIhavealwaysburi
edthem.
Ithurtlikeyest
erday,
howdadusedt ohi
t
her..
ev enthoughIwasst i
l
lyoungthenIcoul
dn'
t
misplacewhatwasgoi ngon.Theabusewas
j
ustt oomuchf orachil
dtodealwi
t h,
howmom
alway shidthosebrui
sesbeneathhermakeup.I
wipedawaymyt ear
s..
It
ookmyphoneandcall
edher.Al
thoughi
twas
l
atebutshepi
ckedt
hephoneup..
Her
:Leah.
.
Me:
arey
oust
il
li
nhospi
tal
?
Her
:nobaby
..
I'
mfi
nenow
Me:
wher
ear
eyou?
Her
:athome.
.wher
eel
secanIbe?
Me:
whyar
eyoust
il
li
nthathouse.
.Pl
ease
expl
aint
omebecauseIwantt
ounder
stand
Her
:Leahdontst
art
..
Me:
whywon'
tyoul
eav
e?
Her
:Leah!
Me:
whywon'
tyout
ell
me?
Her
:Leah..
don'
tyoudar
erai
sey
ourv
oiceat
me.
.doy ouher
eme?
Me:
then.
.why
-whycan'
tyouj
ustt
ell
me.
.why
?
Tear
swer
eal
readywet
ti
ngmymycheeks.
Me:
whydoy
ouwantt
obeki
l
ledi
nthathouse?
Her
:wear
etheonl
ypeopl
ehehav
e..
Me:
that'
swhyy
oust
ayi
ngi
nthi
sfuckedup
mar
riage?
Her
:I
'm war
ningy
ouf
ort
hel
astt
imey
oungl
ady
!
Ikeptqui
te,f
eel
ingasift
heuni
ver
sehadj
ust
fai
ledme,Godhadfai
ledme.
.
Her
:i
tst
oocompl
i
cat
edf
ory
out
ounder
stand
buthewi
l
lnev
err
aisehi
shandonmenow.
.
Me:thesamethingyousaidl
astti
me,lookwhat
happened.Yougotint
ohospit
al.
.I'
m not
cominghomet hist
imearound.
.Idon'thav
ethe
energyfort
hedrama..
Ihangupaftersay
ingthat
,IknowIl
ovemy
mom butall
t hi
swasjustt
oomuch..toomuch
todealwi
th.
Itr
iedQ'
snumberbuti
tledmest
rai
ghtt
o
voi
cemail
.
Ithrewmyphonebesi desmeandj ustl ayon
thecouchi nsuchcasesKr isistheonl yone
whocanmakemef eelbett
erbutsi nceIdont
wantt ostressherfur
therIhav ef oundmyown
remedy .Istoodupandwal kedt omyr oom, t
hen
undert hebedr eachedoutf ormywi ne.It hen
wal kedt othekit
chenandt ookagl asst hen
wentbackt omyroom.I twentf rom onegl ass
tot wot henacouplemor eunti
l Ijustst arted
drinkingf r
om thebottl
e.
.
KRI
S
.
Q:
arey
ousur
eyouwi
l
lbeabl
etodr
ivey
our
sel
f?
Me:
yeah.
.I
'
mjust7mont
hsnot9mont
hs
Q:
ok.
.
Iwalkedouroft hehouset henwentt omycar
anddr ovehome.Wewer edonedi scussi
nga
fewt hi
ngsf orLeah.Idrov ehomeandget ti
ng
thereIdidn'
tfindLeahi nthesi t
ti
ngr oom.She
musthav ewentt osleep.Iwalkedt oherroom
j
ustt omakesur eandsur pri
singl
yshewas
l
ay i
ngi nthefloorwithabot tl
eofwi nebesides
her.Shewast otal
lyoutofi t
..
Iwal
kedupt oherandshookherbutbutshe
wasjusttoosleepytoevenmov eaninch.If
elt
hel
pless,andIwishedIcouldhelpher,t
hesame
waysheal waysdoesforme. .Shekepton
mumbl i
ngt hi
ngsIcoul
dn'thear.Makingher
standupwast heonlywaybutshewastoo
heavy.Ist
ruggl
edt ogetherupandthemoment
shewasst andi
ngIpushedhert ot
hebedthen
satdownbr eat
hingheavi
ly.Iwast
ir
edalr
eady.
Icoveredherwithablanketthenwenttomy
room,str
ippednakedthenlayonmybedt r
ying
nottostressmybaby .Myappointmentformy
resul
tswast omorrow,andIknewIhadi tbutI
j
ustdidn'twanttoacceptit
.
Thefoll
owingdayIwaswokenupbyaknockon
thedoor.Iworemydresst
henwalkedt
othe
doorandunlocked.I
twasTshepi
e..
Me:
andl
ookwhatt
hecathasdr
agged!
Him:wheni
sthepar
tyst
art
ing?Kanai
tsal
ready
0830hr
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
l
ater
..
wenakana
Hegoti
nsi
de.
.
Hi
m:Idontwantt
obel
ate
Me:
youl
i
ket
hingst
oomuch.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.how'
sthebaby
?
Me:
thebabyi
sok
Hi
m:ok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hel
ookedatme.
.
Hi
m:y
ouhav
eey
ebags.
.
Me:
Isl
eptl
ate
Hi
m:ohw.
.okaecousi
nBae?
Me:
around
Hi
m:ar
eyougood?
Me:
yeah,
wantsomet
hingt
oeat
?
Hi
m:obvi
ously
..Whatdoy
out
hink?
ofcauseI
wantf
ood..
Hewal
kedt
otheki
tchen.
.
Me:
dontf
ini
sht
hef
ood.
.I
'
m goi
ngt
obat
h
Hi
m:okaeLeah?
(wher
e'sLeah?
)
Me:
she'
ssl
eepi
ng
Hi
m:sl
eepi
ng?
thi
sti
me?
Me:
yeah.
.
Iwal
kedtothebathr
oom,bat
hedthenchanged
i
ntoanAdidast
racksui
twi
thalconver
seanda
cap.
IwalkedtoLeah'sr
oom andshewasstil
l
sl
eeping,Idi
dn'
tbotherwaki
ngherupIjust
wenttothesitt
ingr
oom whereTshepi
ewas
eat
ing.
Me:TshepieI'
m goi
ngsomewher
efora
f
ew,pleasekeepLeahcompanyandal
sof
ixher
ahangov err
emedy
Hi
m:wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
Me:
Iwantt
oseesomeonef
oraf
ewhour
s
Hi
m:ummhok.
.
It
ookmycarkey
sthenwal
kedout
,st
rai
ghtt
o
mycart hendr ovet othehospi t
al.My
appointmentwasatni ne, soIdroveabi tf
astso
thatIwon'tbel ate.Gettingther
eIwentdi r
ectl
y
tothedoct orsofficethenknocked.Thedoor
openedassomel adygotoutwi thawi desmi l
e
onherf ace,Ij
ustsmi l
edt hengotin.He
gesturedmet oseatassoonasIgoti nside.I
hadchosenapr i
vateclinicsotoav oi
dany one
snoopingonmybusi ness.Ijustcouldn'taff
ord
anyoneknowi ng.
Isatdownthenhetooksomef
il
eandst
art
ed
goingthr
oughit
..
Hi
m:goodmor
ning
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:y
ourr
esul
tscameback
Me:
Ihav
ebr
aint
umorr
ight
?
Iaskedwi
thmyhear
tbeat
ingf
ast
..
Hi
m:yeahbutwecaughti
tabi
tlat
enotthat
muchthoughbutl
i
keIsai
dwecanperformthe
sur
ger
ysoon.
.
Me:
andwehav
etoputmybabyi
nagl
ass?
Hi
m:pr
ett
ymuch,
i
tst
heonl
yway
Me:
andwhati
fIdontdoi
t?
Him:youwi l
lbeput
tingt
hebabyatrisk.
.t
he
constantfai
nti
ngandheadachesarenotgood
foryourbabyplusbytheti
mey ouwouldwant
todoi t
,i
twil
lbri
ngtoomuchcompl i
cati
ons
Me:
what
..
whati
fIdontsur
viv
ethesur
ger
y?
Him:t
hechancesar
ether
ebutI
'
m sur
e..
.y
ouwi
l
l
surv
ivet
his
Iwi
pedawaymyt
ear
s..
Him:wecanalwaysdoanEndoscopi
c
endanasal
skull
base
Me:
what
'
sthat
?
Him:r
emov alofbraintumort
hroughthe
nose.
.i
tsfastplusy ouwon'
tevenstayi
nthe
hospi
talf
ormuchl ong
Inoddedandhet ookmet hr
ought hewhol
e
process.Aft
ertheappoi
ntmentIjustdr
oveto
anopenar ea,
whereSam oncetookme.
Isatinmycarandj ustcr
ied.Icr
iedloud
becauseIwi shedIhadanor mal l
if
el i
ke
everyoneelse,
Iwi shedIdidn'tpr
etendt obe
happywhenIknowdeepdownIknowI '
m
breaking,
al
l t
helaughi ngandsmi l
es..Ithur
t
becauseitsallpretense.
.
Getti
ngbackatt hefl
atIwasj ustdr
ained,
tir
ed.
Iwalkedtomyr oom afterreal
isi
ngIwasalone
thenjusttookthesonarpi ctur
eofmybaby .The
onlyreasonI'
m br eat
hingsof ar.
Me:
mommyl ovesyouok.
.shel
ovesy
ouso
much.
.nev
erdoubti
t
Irubbedmyst
omach.
.Justt
henmyphoner
ang
anditwasmom.
Me:
mom
Her
:youst
il
lcomi
ngr
ight
?
Me:
yes
Her
:ok.
.wewi
l
lwai
tfory
ouatt
heai
rpor
t
Me:
ok
Her
:how'
sthebaby
?
Me:
she'
s-
she'
sfi
ne
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.I
'
m al
lgood.
.I
'
m per
fect
Her
:ok,
seey
ou
Me:
bye
ThenIhungup.It ookadeepbr eathasIplaced
thephonebesidesme.It ookoneoft hebaby
bagsIboughtthenpackedsomeoft hebaby
clot
hesIhadbought .Aft
erpackingIplacedit
besidesthebed.Iheardvoicesi
nthesi t
ti
ng
room, i
tseemedlikeLeahandTshepi ewere
back,t
heywerelaughing.Iputawaythesonar
pict
uresandstoodup.Leahwassupposedt o
st
artprepari
ng.Qhadbookedav enuef orher
bi
rthdayandweev eni nv
itedherfriendsfrom
st
atebutnonoft hem couldmakei t,
Icouldn'
t
ev
engethol dofBarryandasf orBenhewasi n
middleofhisexamssohecoul dn'tcome.I
walkedtothesit
ti
ngr oom wheret heywer e.
Leah:
Kri
s!hey
Shewassmi
l
ing.
.
Me:
hey
Tshepi
e:hey
..
Me:
looksl
i
key
ouguy
shadf
un
Tshepi
e:l
otsofi
t.
.Youmi
ssedout
Me:
nextt
ime.
.
Leah:
yeah.
.
Me:
umhhowaboutnow?
Leah:
i
tsonl
y1200hr
s..
Me:
yeah.
.gobathandstar
tprepar
ing.
.Wewi
l
l
gooutt
oaf ancyr
estaur
ant
Leah:
ok.
.
Shel
ookedatme,l
ikeshewantedmet
osay
somet
hingbutIj
ustkeptqui
te.
.
Leah:
Iwi
l
lgobat
h
Shet
henexcusedher
sel
fasTshepi
echuckl
ed.
Tshepi
e:di
dyouseet
heper
sony
ouwant
edt
o
see?
Me:
yeah.
.
IsatdownasIfel
tsomepai
nonmyt
ummy
,i
t
wasntthatmucht
hough.
.
Tshepi
e:y
ouar
egoi
nghomet
omor
row?
Me:
yeah.
.Imi
ssmyf
ami
l
y
Tshepi
e:met
oo.
.BKhasal
readymadepl
ansf
or
us
Me:
youknowIcan'
tgoany
wherewit
hy ouguy
s
wi
ththebi
gtummy,i
twoul
dcrapyoursty
le
Tshepi
e:crapwho'
sstyl
e?Youareafr
iend.
.If
youwon'tcomethenIwon'
tgotoanyevent
wi
thouty
ou
Me:
dontbecr
azy
,youknowAl
exwi
l
lwantt
ogo
Tshepi
e:y
eahbut
..
Ihat
eleav
ingy
oubehi
nd.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
youhav
easer
iouspr
obl
em
Tshepi
e:y
oudi
dn'
tknow.
Bytheti
meLeahwasf i
nisheddressingi
twas
about1400hrs..I
twasst
illear
lysowedr ove
aroundi
nt hesamecartogetherwithTshepi
e
j
ustpassingtime.
Leah:
areweev
ergoi
ngt
oar
ri
ve?
Il
ookedatt
het
imeandi
twasar
ound1700hr
s.
Me:
j
ustbepat
ient
,weal
mostt
her
e
It
ext
edQt
hatwewer
eal
mostt
her
e.
Get
ti
ngtothevenuetheli
ght
swer
eof
f,
sowe
j
ustpar
kedthengotout.
Leah:
whatar
edoi
ngher
e?
Me:
picki
ngsomet
hing
Leah:
Iwannagohomenow..I
'
mti
red.
.Youhav
e
beendri
vi
ngforal
most3hr
s..
Me:
Tshepi
ewant
edat
our
Tshepi
e:y
eah.
.
Wewal kedi
nsidethehouse,
itwasahousesor
t
l
ikebutbigenoughtofor100peopl
eorso.
Leah:
I'
m soannoy
ed
Tshepi
e:pat
ience
Thel
i
ght
swer
eof
f.
.
Leah:
l
et'
sswi
tchont
hisl
i
ght
s
Tshepi
e:goodpl
an.
.
Shet ookoutherphoneandr efl
ect
edthehouse
aroundsot oswitchonthel i
ghts.Themoment
sheswi tchedthem on,ever
y onescreamed
"surpri
se".Herfacewasj ustoutoft hi
sworl
d.
Sheev encov eredherfacewi thherhands.
Ther ewereal otofpeople,Ididn'
tknowmostof
them butImanagedtoidenti
fyal
lBandil
es
fri
ends,andThabiandt
hegi r
ls,
butIdi
dn'tsee
Thatoany wher
e,i
twasactual
lyarel
ief
.
Thegi
rl
swal
kedupt
ous,
Lesedi
inf
ront
.
Lesedi:
haibo!
Ithoughtt
heywer
ely
ing.
.Youar
e
real
lypregnant
Kar
abo:
andi
tsui
tsy
ou
Thabi
:
yeah.
.happybi
rt
hdayLeah
Lesedi
:
yeahhappybi
rt
hday
..
Kar
abo:
yeahandnowi
tst
imef
ort
hepat
y..
Shesaiddanci ngtothesongt hathadstart
ed
playi
ngatahi ghvolume.Theydr aggedLeah
withthem thenstart
eddanci ng.Iretr
eatedwit
h
Tshepiebesidesme.Iwal kedoutsidetothe
pool wi
thhim.Therewer en'
tpeopleatthepool
yet,
theywer enotgoingtogeti ntothepoolunt
il
i
twaspool ti
me.Wej ustsatbesidesthepool
withmyl egsinsi
de,Ihadf oldedmyt rackpant
s.
Tshepi
e:y
ouguy
sreal
l
yout
didy
our
sel
ves.
.
Me:
yeahbuti
twasal
lQ
Tshepi
e:andy
oual
so.
.
Me:
yeah
Tshepi
e:y
ouseem abi
tof
f
Me:
who?
me?
Tshepi
e:not
hepool
..
ofcausey
ou
Ichuckl
ed.
.
Me:
mybabyi
sst
il
lbr
each
Hi
m:br
each?
Me:
she'
sint
hewr
ongposi
ti
on
Tshepi
e:sowhat
'sgoi
ngt
ohappennow?
Me:
C-sect
ion
Tshepi
e:buty
ouar
egoi
ngt
obef
iner
ight
?
It
urnedandl
ookedsthi
m..
Me:
yeah.
.I
'
m goi
ngt
obef
ine
Tshepi
e:good.
.Thewhol
eear
thwi
l
ltr
embl
eif
any
thi
nghappenst
oyou
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
y'
al
lwi
l
lsur
viv
e
Tshepi
e:survi
ve?Wewon't.
.ev
eniftheydont
admitit
,youar
ethebestt
hingthathasever
happenedtoanyone
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
stopbei
ngcr
azy
..
Tshepi
e:Iwantust
ogot
oVi
ctor
iaf
all
s,
BKand
Dyl
anagree
Me:
Ant
onyi
scomi
ng?
Tshepi
e:y
es!
Imi
sst
hatdog!
Me:
met
oo
Tshepi
e:or
atamakgowa(
hel
oveswhi
tepeopl
e)
Me:
yeah.
.
Tshepi
e:sot
heVi
ctor
iaf
all
sthi
ng.
.whatdoy
ou
thi
nk?
Me:
wel
lI.
.-
Igotcutshortbysomeoneclear
ingthei
rthr
oat.
Il
ookedbackandBandi l
ewasst andi
ngbehind
us,
hedidn'tl
ookmadjusthadhisnumbf aci
al
expr
ession.Tshepi
estoodup..
Tshepi
e:Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouguy
sspace
Tshepi
ethendi
sappear
edinsi
det
hehouse.I
st
oodupsoIlookathim.
Him:Iaskedyouwhatt
hepr
obl
em wasandy
ou
sai
di t
snothi
ng..
Me:
becausei
tsnot
hing
Hi
m:whyar
eyoul
yi
ngt
ome?
Me:
I'
m notl
yi
ng
Hi
m:Kr
is.
.
Me:
I'
mfi
neBandi
l
e
Hi
m:Iknowaboutt
hebr
aint
umort
hing
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
I'
m sur
eyoudo
Him:
whyonear
thwoul
dyoukeepsomet
hing
l
iket
his?
Me:
howdi
dyouknow?
Hi
m:doesi
tmat
ter
?
Me:
youst
il
lhav
ingmef
oll
owed?
Hi
m:y
oursaf
etycomesf
ir
stt
ome
Me:
thatdoesn'
tmeany
oushoul
dbesnoopi
ng
i
nmyl i
fe
hi
m:youarecar
ryi
ngmychil
d..
soIhav
eev
ery
ri
ght
..Whyareyousel
fi
sh?
Me:
not
hingi
sgoi
ngt
ohappent
othebaby
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?St
opbei
ngachi
l
d!
Me:
I'
mti
red.
.Pl
easegi
vemeabr
eak
Hi
m:abr
eak?
don'
tfuckwi
thmeKr
ist
in!
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me?
Hi
m:Iwanty
out
ounder
got
hesur
ger
y
Me:
Iwi
l
ldot
heC-
sect
ionaf
terIseemyf
ami
l
y
Hi
m:andy
ouar
egoi
ngt
otel
lthem.
.
Me:
andi
fIdont
?
Hi
m:Iwi
l
l.
.si
mpl
east
hat
Isatdownagai
nandkeptqui
te.
Hi
m:Il
oveyou.
.andI'
m notgoi
ngt
osi
ther
eand
wat
chyoukil
lyour
self
Me:nothi
ngwil
lhappent
oher,
IwilldoC-
sect
ion
andthennot
hingofmewi l
laf
fecther
Hi
m:what
'st
hatt
hatsupposedt
omean?
Me:
thatIwi
l
ldot
heC-
sect
ion
Hi
m:whataboutt
hebr
aint
umor
?
Me:Idontwantt
odiej
usty
et.
.Iwantt
ospenda
bi
toftimewithher
Hi
m:y
ounotgoi
ngt
odi
e
Me:st
opl
yi
ngt
oyour
sel
f.
.It
sabi
tlat
e,t
her
e'sa
r
isk
Hecameandsatbesi
desme.
.
Him:I'
m goi
ngt
otakey
out
othemostef
fi
cient
surgeons
Me:
andi
fIdontmakei
t?t
henwhat
?
Hi
m:youwil
lmakei
t.
.y
ouwi
l
lhav
eto.
.f
orour
l
it
tl
efami
lyok?
Inodded.
.
HehuggedmeandIj
ustl
eti
tal
lout
.Iwas
scar
ed.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
.
Anot
heri
nser
twi
l
lcomel
ater

[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t54
BANDI
LE
.
.
Iheldhercl oselyasshecr i
edunt ilshejust
calmeddown.Shehadbeenqui teforawhi l
e
nowsoIgent l
yshookherbutt herewasno
mov ement .Shehadf al
lenasleep.Carefull
yI
stoodupt henscoopedheri nmyar msand
walkedwi thhert omycar .Unlockingthecar
wasabi tchal l
engesoIhadt opr essherabi t
againstt hecarf orsuppor t
,t
hengotmycarkey s
from mypocket ,
unlockedthecar .I
fitwasn'tfor
thepr egnancyIwoul dhav eplacedheronmy
shoulder .Iopenedt hebackdoort henwi dened
i
twi thmyf oot,andgent l
yplacedhert here.Aft
er
thatIwentbackt othehouset olookforQ.They
weresi ngingf orherasshecuthercake.Qwas
besideshersoIj ustwalkedupt ohi m and
whisper edt hatI'
ml eavingwithKr i
s.
Hi
m:l
etmet
ell
Leah
Hewhi
speredsomet
hingt
oLeahwhot
urnedt
o
f
aceme..
Her
:but
..
issheok?
Me:
yeahj
ustpassedout
..
Her
:l
etmecutt
hecakef
orher
..
Shecutacaket
henpl
acedi
tinasaucert
hen
handi
ttome.
Her
:t
ell
herIsai
dthanky
ou
InoddedasIt
ookt
hesaucer
..
Me:
tel
lherf
ri
end
Shenoddedt henIwal kedout,backt othecar
unlocked,pl
acedt hecakeont hepassenger
seatthendr ovetomyhouse.Ar ri
vingthereIgot
heroutt henwentwi thhert omybedr oom and
careful
lylayher.Itookof fherclothesleaving
herinherpant i
esonl y.Regardlesst he
pregnancyshest ill
lookedbeaut if
ul andsexyas
hell
.Herl i
pswer eslightl
yparted.Iwentbackt o
thecar,t
ookt hecakeoutandl etlockedt he
door sthenwentt obackt omybedr oom, tooka
quickshower .Af
terbathi
ngIl aybesides
her,anditf eltgoodbeingbesidesher ,
wat ching
hersl eep..
ev enthoughitwasnott hefirst
ti
me, well may beIdidsneaki nherr oom af ew
ti
mesbuti tdidn'
tfeelasgoodast hismoment .
Imadeherl ieherheadonmychestandhel d
hert i
ghtly..Ihaveneverbeenscar edtol ose
anyonet hewayI 'm soscaredofl osingher .The
fol
lowi ngdayIwokeupear ly,andcal l
edSet ht o
checki fhef oundt hebestspeci ali
sttot r
eat
Kri
sandal sohav ehertestresultssentt here.
Me:
whi
chonesdi
dyouf
ind?
Him:IfoundoneinAust r
ali
a,he'
sgoodIthi
nk
accordingtotheresul
tsofhisworkbuthe'
s
expensivebuttheoneisNetherl
andsisext
ra
goodandext raexpensi
vetoo
Me:
moneyisnotapr
oblem.
.Emai
lmeal
lthi
s
t
henIwi
ll
havealookuntoi
t
Hi
m:ok.
.shoul
dwecont
inuewi
tht
heexpor
t?
Me:
yes,
andmakesur
eitsai
l
sper
fect
ly.
.
Hi
m:ok.
.goodl
uckony
ourgi
rl
Me:
yeah.
.
It
henhungupthentur
ned.Shewasstanding,
l
eani
ngagai
nstthedoorf
rameofthekit
chen
l
ooki
ngatmebutdressedonlyi
nmyshi r
t.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
..
Ifel
lasl
eep?
Me:
mor
eli
key
oucr
iedy
our
sel
ftosl
eep
Shenodded.Iwal
kedupt
oher
,cl
osi
ngt
he
di
stancebet
weenus.
Me:I
'mlookingi
ntoafewwor
ldwi
debest
sur
geons..Youaregoi
ngt
obefi
ne
Her
:t
heydon'
tcomecheap
Me:
nei
therdoy
ou.
.
Her
:your
eal
l
ydonthav
etodot
his.
.i
fIdot
he.
.-
Me:
I'
m doi
ngt
hisf
orme.
.Idon'
twantt
olose
youbecauseIdontthinkIwil
lsur
viv
eit
..
I'
m
doingthi
sbecauseIloveyoutoomuchtolose
you..
I'
m doi
ngthisbecauseyouaremyfamil
y
toget
herwithourdaughter
Iwi
pedhert
ear
s..
Me:IknowImessedupbigti
me.
.butIpr
omise
nev
erwi l
lIev
erl
aymyhandonyou..Iwi
l
lnever
l
aymyhandony oueveragai
n
Her
:Idontdeser
vey
ou
Ihuggedhert
ight
ly.
Me:
Ithi
nkwear
emeantt
obe.
.
Shegi
ggl
edonmychest
..
It
il
tedherhead.
.
Her
:whathappenedt
oyou?
Me:
Ireal
i
zedy
ouownmyhear
t
Her:
ain'
tthataweakness?Especi
all
yto
someonel i
keyou?
Me:
i
tisandIdontmi
nd
Sheblushed,
Ilov
edt
hef
actt
hatIst
il
lhadt
hat
eff
ectonher.
Me:
Iwantt
oki
ssy
ousobadr
ightnow.
.
Herey
esf
ell
,
shewasbegi
nni
ngt
ogetal
lshy
.
Il
eanedcl
osertohercl
osi
ngthef
ewinches
bet
weenus,shewasnowholdi
ngherbr
eath.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
oki
ssy
ounow.
.
Ileanedmuchmor ecloser,f
eeli
ngherwarm
breathagainstmyl i
ps,hereyeswerealr
eady
closedandshel ookedsoBeaut i
ful.
Iki
ssedher
tendersoftli
ps,
owni ngher.Shealwaysmakes
meweaknodoubt .Ipull
edoutafterawhil
e..
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantf
orbr
eakf
ast
?
Her
:al
otoff
ood.
.
Ilookedathert
henshegi
ggl
edandIl
aughed
thesound.
Her
:muf
fi
nswi
l
ldo.
.wi
thpancakes
Il
ookedather
..
Me:Idontknowhowt ocooksohowabout
cor
nflakesthenIwi
l
ltakeyououtf
orbr
eakf
ast
Her
:Icanal
way
scook
Me:
no.
.I
'
mtaki
ngy
ouout
Her
:Bandi
l
ei-
Me:Kr
ist
in.
.Isai
dno,
l
etmepr
epar
eyout
his
cor
nfl
akes
Isai
dtaki
ngputabowel
.
Shesatontheki
tchenstoolandwat
chedmeas
Ipr
eparedhert
hecornfl
akes..
Me:
ther
ewego
Isai
dasIsatbesi
desherwi
tht
hebowel
Her
:younoteat
ing?
Me:
Ihat
ecor
nfl
akes.
.
Shenoddedasl
ooki
ngatme.
.
Me:I
'
m goi
ngt
ofeedy
ou,
whet
hery
oul
i
keor
don'
t
Itookaspoonful
from t
hebowel
andbr
ought
herclosert
ohermouth.
Me:
sayahhbabe
Shegiggledopeni
nghermout
h.If
edhert
he
fi
rstspoon.
Me:
goodgi
rl
..
whatt
imei
syourpl
ane?
Her
:1400hr
s
Me:
sowhendoy
oupl
ant
ell
i
ngy
ourf
ami
l
y?
Shej
ustl
ookedatmesi
l
ent
..
Me:
Iwasn'
tbl
uff
ingwhenIsai
dIwoul
dtel
l
t
hem
Her
:Ineedsomet
imeBandi
l
e..Thi
sisnotf
lu
Me:
andt
hat
swhyy
ouneedt
otel
lthem
Her
:If
eel
li
keI
'
m goi
ngt
odi
e
Me:
younotgoi
ngt
odi
e..Tr
ustme
Her
:any
thi
ngcanal
way
sgowr
ong
Me:
stopbei
ngnegat
ive
Her:
i
tsnotbei
ngnegat
ive.
.I'
mjustst
ati
ng
somefact
s
Idi
dn'tevenwantt
ot hi
nkaboutl
osi
ngher
for
ever,i
tmademej ustsi
ck.
Iki
ssedherl
i
ps.
.
Me:
youwi
l
lmakei
t.
.t
rustme
.
LEAH
.
Thehangov erIwokeupwi t
hi nthemor ning
wasj ustenought okillme.Apar tofmedr ank
alcohol yest erdaywellasapar tofhav ingfun
butt hebi ggestpar twasasawayt ofor getal
l
mypr oblems.I tseemedl i
keIwasi nQ' sbed,I
dontt hi
nkImadei theresti
llawake, even
thoughIhadahangov erbutIcoul dn'treall
y
mi splcethel i
ttl
epaper sonthebed, theywer e
every wher e.Isatupst rai
ghtont hebedand
thatswhent hedooropenedandhest ood
bef
oremehol
dingagl
ass.
Hi
m:f
inal
l
yshesawake
Me:
what
'
sthi
s?
It
ookthefi
rstsmallpi
eceofpapert
hatwason
myfor
ehead,Icoul
dfeeli
t.
.
"Iwrot
eall
thereasonswhyIl
ovey
ouasy
our
bir
thdaypr
esent"
Me:
ok.
.
It
ookt
hepaperont
hebed.
"
Ilov
eyoubecausey
ouar
ecr
azy
"
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
I'
m cr
azy
?
Hi
m:y
oudi
dn'
tknow?
It
ookanot
herone.
.
"Il
oveyoubecausey
oumakemef
eel
complet
e"
It
ookanot
herone.
.
"
Ilov
eyoubecausey
ouhav
echangedmef
or
t
hebett
er"
Me:
thi
sisr
eal
l
yni
ceandr
omant
icQ
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ad.
.
Me:
buti
mI'
m dy
ing.
.
Myvoicewasev enshaky
,myl
i
pswer
edr
y..
Ijust
f
eltl
i
keI'm di
slocat
ed.
Hi
m:yeah.
.Imadey
outhi
s,
giv
eit6mi
nut
esand
t
heheadachewoul
dbegone
Hehandmet hegl
ass,
i
thadsomet
hingi
nit
,and
i
tst
inkbutt
henIhadnochoi
ce.
Qui
ckl
yIgul
pedever
ythi
ngdownwi
thout
st
oppi
ngtobreat
h.
Hi
m:good.
.wannabat
h?
Inoddedstandingup.Iwalkedtothebathroom,
thenl
ookedatmyr ef
lect
iononthemi r
ror.I'
m
surei
fIshowupatanyhor rormovieauditi
on
theywoul
dhi r
eme.Myhai rwasjustmessyand
myf ace,quicklyIbr ushedmyt eeththenI
str
ippednakedst eppingintotheshowerlet
ti
ng
thecoldwat erhitmybody .Afterawhil
eof
beingint heshowerIf elthandsaroundmy
waist.Icouldf eel him behi
ndme.
Hi
m:t
houghty
ouneededcompany
Myf
acebur
nt.
.
Het
urnedmear
oundsoIf
acehi
m.
Hi
m:y
est
erday
-
Me:
abouty
est
erdayIj
ustwannasayt
hanky
ou
Hesmi
l
ed
Hi
m: any
thi
ngforyou.
.y
ousai
dacoupl
eof
t
hingsyest
erday
Me:
me?
when?
Hi
m:whenIwasdr
ivi
nghome.
.Andy
ouwer
e
dr
unk
Me:
IhopeIdi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ngembar
rassi
ng
Hi
m:no.
.y
out
alkedabouty
ourmom.
.
Ilookedathi
m,Inev
err
eal
l
ytol
dQaboutt
hat
fuckery
.
Me:
whatdi
dIsay
?
Hi
m:youtal
kedabouttheabuse.
.t
heny
ouwent
ont
ot al
kaboutt
he..
fert
il
it
ythi
ng
Me:
ohh
Hi
m:fi
rstofal
lIj
ustwantt
olety
ouknow
t
hat.
.t
hatI.
.ummh
Heswal
l
owedhar
dmaki
ngmyhear
tbeatf
ast
..
Me:
whati
sit
?
Hi
m:LeahI
..
Ilov
eyou
Mywor ldst
oppedspi nning,ev
ersincewe
star
teddati
nghe' sneversaidthe3wor ds.
NeverandInev erwantedt opressurehi
m or
anythi
ngbutitalwayshur twhenIt ol
dhim Il
ove
hi
m buthenev ersaysitback.Ilookedathim..
Me:
you.
.what
?
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ouandf
ert
il
eornot
..
itdoesn'
t
mat
terpl
ust
her
e'sal
way
sIVF
Me:
Q..
Him:Iwanty outobeabletobefr
eearound
me..Idon'tbi
teanditseemsli
kethi
sthi
ngwit
h
yourmot herisaff
ecti
ngyoubadl
yandIwantto
betherefory ou
Me:
Idontwanty
out
othi
nkI
'
m messedup
Hi
m:Idon'
t.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
ooQ
Hesmil
edt
henhuggedmebutsomet
hingkept
onpoki
ngme.Ichuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:Ican'
thel
pit
..
Idi
dn'
tgetsomef
ory
our
bi
rt
hday
Me:
Ithi
nkt
hatcanber
ect
if
ied
Hi
m:Il
i
ket
hesoundoft
hat
..
Hesai
dasheki
ssedmepushi
ngmeagai
nst
t
hewall
.
.
Idressedinmydeni
m shor
ts,
adeni
m shi
rtwi
th
fl
ip-
flops.
Q:
pleasebequi
ck.
.Weneedt
obuygr
ocer
yin
t
hemor ni
ng
Q'shousehadnot
hingatthemoment.He
usuall
ysur
viv
esontakeawaysbutnotwhenI
'
m
around.
.
Me:
I'
m done,
j
ustwannadr
ymyhai
r
Hi
m:y
oucoul
dhav
elongdonet
hatdol
lface
Me:
j
ust2mi
nut
es
Isatonthedr
essingt
abl
etaki
ngt
hebl
ow
dryer
/hai
rdr
yer.
Q:
2mi
nut
esorel
sedr
aggi
ngy
ououtofher
e
Hethenwalkedoutleavi
ngmedr yi
ngmyhai r.
OnceIwascompl et
elysati
sfiedIstoodupthen
tookmyphoneandwentt othekit
chenwher eI
heardvoi
cesargui
ng.Istoodbesidesthedoor
watchi
ngQwi thsomewomanar guingbut
doubti
twast hemother.Theylookedali
ke.
Woman:
sowhatnow?fort
hefir
stti
meiny
our
l
if
ecanyouj
ustdot
hingsaccordi
ngl
y?
Q:
ther
e'snot
hingaccor
dingl
yli
kebei
ngfor
ced
t
omar r
ysomeoneIdontwantt omarr
y
Woman:
for
ced?
Q..
doy
our
eal
i
zet
hatt
his-
Q:
Idont
!Ihav
eagi
rl
fr
iendandIl
oveher
Shel
aughed.
.
Woman:
Godi
sreal
l
ytest
ingme
Q:
dontt
alkaboutGodbecausehehasnot
hing
t
odowiththi
sshit
Woman:
thatgi
rl
fr
iendofy
our
swi
l
l-
Thatswhenshesawme,shestoppedtal
king
thenjustst
arr
edatmegi
vingmet hatl
ook.
Me:
mor
ningmam
Her
:sot
hisi
sher
?youwannawi
fet
hist
hing?
Q:
Mapl
ease
Her
:Iwantt
oknow.
.Yourf
atherhashopesf
or
y
ouQui
ncy
..Cany
ounotdi
sappoi
nthi
m?
Q:
Ihav
ebeendoi
ngokwi
thouty
ouguy
s
Her:
Katl
ehoisagoodgir
l,
hasrespect,
studi
ed
busi
ness.
.She'
sareal
l
yagoodgi rlrai
sedfrom
alovi
ngfamil
y.
.Youwil
lli
keher
Q:I
'
m sur
eIwoul
dbutasy
oucanseeIl
ove
someoneel
se
Her:
l
ookatt
hewayshesdressed.
.Shesmel
ls
pr
osti
tut
eal
loverher
..
shel
ooksli
keanunf
ert
il
e
pr
osti
tut
eal
lsheneedstodoisgi
veyouabi
ll
..
Ichuckl
ed,t
hiswomanwasspi
l
li
ngv
enom and
i
twassur el
ysti
ngi
ng.
Q:
cany
oupl
easel
eav
eMa
Her
:youki
cki
ngmeout
?
Me:
Ithi
nkIshoul
dgo
Her
:ehhl
eav
e
Q:
Leahi
fyoul
eav
e..
Hel
ookedatmewi
thadonty
oudar
elook.
Q:
Mapl
ease
Shecli
ckedathert
ounget
hent
ookherbagand
walkedout
.
Il
ookedatQ.
.
Me:
youshoul
dn'
tdonet
hat
..
shesy
ourmot
her
Q:sheneedstor
espectyoubecauseifshe
doesn'
tmeandherwi l
lhaveaseri
ouspr obl
em.
Allt
hepastyear
swehav enotbeentalki
ngand
todayshecomestomyhouset el
li
ngmeabout
somear r
angedmarr
iageshit
!
Me:
Ithi
nky
oushoul
ddr
ivemehome
Him:wear
egoi
ngf
orgr
ocer
ies.
.St
opt
alki
ng
shi
t
Me:
she'
sri
ght
..Q.
.y
ouknow.
.You-
Hi
m:hey!Nomoredi
scussi
ngt
hatwomani
n
t
hishousewecl
ear?
Il
ookedathi
m..
Hi
m:ar
ewei
nthesamepage?
Inodded.
.
Him:
good..
Idontwanty out
obeupset..
Itold
you.
.Il
oveyouregar
dlessanyt
hing.
.Soplease
Me:
ok
Hi
m:goodl
et'
sgo
Wewal
kedoutsidet
ohiscarthenhedr
ovet
o
t
hemal
l.Mymi ndwassti
l
lstuckonHis
mot
her
swords.
"l
ookatthewayshesdressed..Shesmell
s
prost
it
uteal
loverher
..
shelookslikeanunf
ert
il
e
prost
it
uteal
lsheneedstodoisgi veyouabi
ll
..
"
.
KRI
S
.
Ihel
dontothebathr
oom basi
ntightlyadmy
whol
ebodyvi
brat
edandIcamehar dallar
ound
hi
m,f
eel
ingt
hesensati
onasittr
av el
edt hr
ough
mybodyandcamebehindme,shootinghisload
deepinme.Imi ssedhi
m,GodknowsImissed
thi
s,
hi
st ouch,
hi
swar m br
eat
hagainstmyneck.
HepulledoutasIcaughtmybreat
h.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgobat
h..
Hesaidasheledmet othebathtubthatwas
fi
ll
edwit
handwat erandfoam bath.Wegotin
andhesatbehindme.
Him:Iwanty
out
ohav
ethesur
ger
yassoonas
possibl
e
Iwi
shedhecouldj
ustst
opt
alki
ngaboutmy
si
cknessandj
ustl
etmeenj
oythemoment.
Me:
ok
Him:yeahmeaningthesoonert
heC-
sect
iont
he
soonerthesur
gery
Me:Iwast
hinki
ngt
hatmom couldstaywit
hour
chil
dwhensheget
srel
easedfr
om theglass
tube
Hi
m:y
eah.
.buty
ouwi
l
lbeawakebyt
hen.
.
Me:
ok
Heki
ssedmyf
oreheadsof
tl
y.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ouBandi
l
e
Hi
m: Il
oveyoumor e.
.Wear
egoingt
oget
t
hroughthi
s,thesamewaywehaveevergot
ten
t
hroughanythingel
se
Me:
Ihav
eanamef
ort
hebaby
Hi
m:l
et'
sheari
t
Me:
Let
habi
l
e
Hi
m:t
hat
sni
cewel
lIguesst
wonameswi
l
ldo
Me:
what
'
stheot
herone
Hi
m:i
tsmysecr
et.
.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ok.
.Il
ovebat
hingwi
thy
ou
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.
.Let
'sbat
h..
youneedt
oeat
Me:
youwantt
obat
hme?
Hi
m:Ionl
yhav
eonepl
aceIwannawash.
.
Hesai
dashe'
shandwentbet
weenmyl
egs.
.
Bandi
l
epl
acedt
hel
astbagsi
nhi
scar
.
Hi
m:t
hat
sal
l
?
Me:
yeah.
.Iwi
l
lmeetLeahatt
heai
rpor
t
Hi
m:ok.
.
Wegotinthecart
henhedrovetot
heair
por
t.
Heparkedwhenwegotther
ethentookmy
bagsout.
Hi
m:I
'
m gi
vi
ngy
out
odayt
otel
lyourf
ami
l
y
Me:
youar
esocont
rol
l
ing
Imumbl
ed.
.
Hi
m:It
houghty
oudi
dn'
treal
i
ze
Wewalkedinsi
dewher eIsawLeahsit
ti
ngwit
h
Qall
loveydovey.Shestoodupassoonasshe
sawme.
Her
:hey
Shesai
dhuggi
ngme.
.
Me:
hey
..
andhappybel
ated
Her
:t
hanky
ouf
ort
hewonder
ful
par
ty
Me:Iboughty
ouagif
t.
.Iwi
l
lshowy
ouwhenwe
ar
ri
v e.
.It
sint
hebags
Her
:ok.
.wowf
ri
end.
.Yougl
owi
ng
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Her
:pl
easet
ell
mey
ouguy
smadeup.
..
Me:
wel
lyeah.
.It
hink
Hersmi
l
ebr
ight
ened.
.
Her
:t
hatsgr
eat
..Atl
eastnowy
ouguy
sar
eone
t
eam..
Me:
arey
ouReady
?
Her
:asev
er.
.
Ourpl
anegotcall
edoutt
henBandi
l
ecameand
ki
ssedmebrief
ly.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
landcomet
omor
row.
.Sowe
di
scussawayf
orwar
d
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Heki ssedmeonel astt
imebeforeletti
ngmego.
LeahandIwal kedawayleavingthem standing
there..Goinghomewasn' tt
hatexciti
ngf orme
becauseIknewt henewsIhad. .
werentsogood.
Thepastf ewhourswereabliss,
aftereating
breakf astBandi
let
ookmef orabi tofshoppi ng,
j
ustwast ingmoneybecausewel lapparentl
yhe
hasi t
.Boar di
ngtheplaneIsatbesidesLeah.
Leah:
ImetQ'
smom.
.
Shebl
urt
ed
Me:
ohw.
.howwasshe?
Leah:
shecal
l
edmeanunf
ert
il
epr
ost
it
ute.
.
Me:
what
?
Leah:
yeahal
lIneedt
odoi
sgi
vehersont
hebi
l
l
Me:
arey
ouser
ious?
Leah:
morethananythi
ng.
.appar
ent
lyhe'
s
supposedt
omar r
ysomeKat ehoorwhatev
er
hernameissupposedtobe
Me:
asi
nar
rangedmar
ri
age?
Leah:
yeah.
.i
twasawf
ul
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Leah:
yeah..
Ifeel
li
keI
'
m maki
nghi
m dr
if
tmor
e
fr
om hisf
amily
Me:
dontf
eel
li
ket
hat
..
Leah:
andnott
oment
iont
hei
nfer
ti
li
tyt
hing.
.
Me:
youarefer
ti
leLeahj
ustthaty
ourwomb
mi
ghtnotbeabletocar
ryt
hebaby .
.
Leah:
sti
l
lKr
is.
..
Me:Qlov
esy
ou.
.t
hat
'st
hatmat
ter
s..Dont
st
ress
Leah:
yeah.
.
Wedi
dourbel
tsaft
ersomeannouncementt
hat
wewer
ealmostt
akingof
f.Byt
hetimewewere
l
andi ngLeahwasasleep,I
'm sogl
adthat
Bandi l
esmom doesn'that
eme.Hav i
nga
mot herinl
awwhoHat esyouisaser
ious
problem.
Ishookherabi
taf
terwel
anded.
Her
:al
ready
?
Me:
pret
tymuch
Shey awnedasweundidtheseatbel
ts.Af
ter
thatwewalkedt
ot hewai
tingaf
terwetookour
bags.Mom andAlexwerewaiti
ngforLeahand
I
.
Alexrantowar
dsusassoonasshesawus
thenhuggedmethenLeah.
Al
ex:
HiLeah.
.Kr
is
Leah:
hey
Me:
Hi
Al
ex:
wowy
our
eal
l
yhuge
Me:
Iknowr
ight
Shebrushedmyt
ummysof
tl
yaswewal
ked
towar
dsmom.
Al
ex:
Imi
sst
att
ooedboy
fie
Leahlaughed,
nowshehast
odeal
wit
hmy
crazyfamil
y.
Me:
Bat
hongAl
ex!
Al
ex:
keng,
l
eav
emeany
wayhowar
eyouLeah?
Leah:
fineDar
li
ngy
ou?
Al
ex:
I'
m good
Bythenwewereapproachi
ngmom.Shemetus
hal
fwaythenhuggedus.
Mom:
gir
ls.
.wel
come
Leah:
thanky
oumam
Mom:
howar
eyouLeah?
Leah:
I'
m goody
ou?
Mom:
I'
mfi
ne.
.
Wewal
kedt
othecart
hengoti
n.Shedr
ove
home,
arr
ivi
ngt
her
eIsawSam'
scarout
side.
Wegotof fthecarwhenwear ri
vedthengot
i
nsidethehouse.Alexsti
l
lti
ri
ngLeahasal way
s
butthenthatsherstyl
e.Get
ti
nginsi
dethe
houseIwaswel comedbyawar m hugf r
om
Sam.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hey
Hepul
l
edout
..
Hi
m:how'
sher
?
Hesai
dpoi
nti
ngmyt
ummy
.
Me:
shewi
l
lbeokhowar
eyou?
Hi
m:I
'
mfi
ne
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:youar
esmi
l
ingt
odaymeani
ngonl
yone
t
hing
Me:
whi
chi
s?
Hi
m:y
oumadeup
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
what
ever
,I'
mreal
l
yhungr
y..
ist
her
efood?
Hi
m:l
etmewel
comeourguest
HewalkedtoLeahwhowasget
ti
ngi
nsi
det
he
houseandhuggedher
.
Astheywel
comedherIsear
chedthewhol
e
ki
tchenf
orfoodandst
art
edeati
ng.
Mom:
dontf
ini
shmyf
oodwena
Me:
Iwon'
t
Mom:
Leahwi
l
lsl
eepi
nyourr
oom ok
Me:
yeah
Theywentt
omyr
oom whi
l
eAl
exst
ayedwi
th
me.
Her
:Il
i
kesl
eepi
ngwi
thy
ou
Me:
Dontwor
ry.
.Iwi
l
ldosomesl
eep-
over
son
y
ourbedsomet
imes
Her
:ok.
.any
wayhowar
eyou?
Me:
didn'
tyouaskt
hat
?
Her
:Idontt
hinkso
Me:
wel
lI'
mfi
ne
Her
:Tshepi
esay
shewaswi
thy
ouy
est
erday
Me:
yeah.
.whatt
imei
shecomi
ng?
Her
:t
omor
rowmor
ning
Me:
okhow'
sschool
?
Her
:school
isokasal
way
s..
Shestar
tedtel
li
ngmeallabouti
t.Shesur
ehad
alott
otellme.Shewasnowi nf
orm5.
Me:sotheexamsareappr
oachi
ngsoon
enough.
.Youready
?
Her:
asalways.
.Dadt ol
dmey ouaregoi
ngt
o
school
inHarvard.I
fthatssonexty
eart
hat
s
whereI
'm coming
Me:IdontknowAl
ex.
.i
fIt
ransf
ert
heny
ouwi
l
l
def
inatl
ycomewit
h
Her
:t
hat
sgr
eat
..
doesshemov
e?
Shewasnowbr
ushi
ngmyt
ummy
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Her:Ican'twaitt
oseeher..
kanahavingababy
withacut eyli
keNdil
e..
ij
oocuteniggas,hot
niggas,handsometat
tooedniggaswi l
lbless
youwi ththemostbeautif
ulbabi
esbae. .ok
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
I'
m al
sobeaut
if
ul
Her:
yes.
.beaut
if
ulsexycut
egir
lplusfucken
hot
,outofthi
sworldsexymosthandsome
ni
ggaisequaltocutebaby
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
who'
schi
l
dar
eyou?
Her
:soIwast
hinki
ngwenameherApr
il
..
Or
Sel
ena
Me:
sheal
readyhasaname
Her
:whati
sit
?
Me:
Let
habi
l
e
Her
:Engl
i
shname?
Me:
wehav
en'
tthoughtaboutt
hat
Her
:t
henl
etmesuggest
..
-
Mom t
hencamebackwi
thLeahdownst
air
s
t
oget
herwi
thSam.
Mom:
yeahsowel
comet
oBot
swanamybaby
Sam:
Icandr
ivey
ouar
oundwi
thKr
ist
omor
row
Leah:
thatwi
l
lbeni
ce
Mom:
yes.
.howwasy
ourcheckup?
Me:
ok
Sam:
i
sthebabyheal
thy
?
Me:
shesf
ine
Mom di
dn'
tsaynomor e,
Ifel
tli
keshehadn'
t
r
eal
l
ygottenoveri
torhadn'
texact
lyf
orgi
ven
me.Shestartedprepari
ngtocookwhi
le
ev
eryonedispersedleavi
ngmewithheral
one.
Me:
youneedanyhel
pMama?
Her
:ai
ino.
.goseatandr
elax.
.I
'
m sur
ethesi
tt
ing
wasti
ri
ng.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryI
'
m pr
egnant
Shel
ookedatme.
.
Her
:wegotov
ert
hatl
ongt
imeago
Me:
Ifeel
li
ke.
.y
ouhav
en'
tfor
giv
enme
Her:
Il
ongfor
gaveyouKris,
youaremychil
dand
mist
akesdohappen.Youarebackwi
ththat
boyf
ri
endofyour
s?
Ikeptqui
te,
Idi
dn'
tev
enknowt
heappr
opr
iat
e
answerfort
hat
.
Her
:aslongasheknowsaft
erthebabyi
s
bor
n..
youaremovingawayi
tsok
Me:
het
alkedt
ohi
slawy
eraboutchi
l
dcust
ody
Her
:and?
Me:hewantsustosharethechi
ld.Whenthe
chi
ldusnotgoi
ngt oschoolhewantstohav
e
herfort
womont hsinevery7monthsand
duri
ngallt
heschoolhol
idays
Her:
wedidn'
tdeni
eyhi
mther
ightt
oseehi
s
daught
er
Me:hesaidhe'
sjust
..Keepi
ngadv
ancesi
nor
der
andIagreedwit
hhim
Her
:youagr
ee.
.
Me:
yes..I
'
m notgoi
ngt
okeepmychi
l
daway
f
rom herf
ather
Her
:Iwi
l
ltal
ktoy
ourdad
Me:
Ihav
eal
readysi
gned
Shest
oppeddoingwhatshewasdoi
ngf
ora
sect
hencont
inuedagai
n.
Her
:goodf
ory
ou
Me:
yeah
Her
:whati
fhet
ookadv
ant
ageofy
ou?
Me:
hewi
l
lnev
erdot
hat
Her:
butt
henhetookadv
ant
ageofasmal
lgi
rl
andgotherpr
egnant
Me:
hedi
dnot
hingofsuch
Her
:sowhathappened?
Me:
meandhi
m ar
eequal
l
ytobl
ame
Her
:heknewy
ouwer
est
il
lyoungKr
ist
in
Me:
Isai
dI'
m sor
ry
Her:t
hisi
snotaboutt
heapologyKris,
youcan
apologi
zeal
lyouwantbutitst
il
lwon'tchange
thatsomeoldermangotyoupregnant
Me:i
tsj
ust6y
ear
sdi
ff
erence.
.Ther
e'snot
hing
ol
dinthat
Her
:coul
dn'
thef
indhi
sownagemat
es
Me:
whenwi
l
lyouseeIl
ovehi
m!
Her
:I
'm nev
ergoi
ngt
oseei
t
Tear
swer
ecascadi
ngonmyf
ace.
.
Me:hemakesmehappy
..
Outofev
ery
onehe
makesmehappy
Her
:happy
?
Me:
yeshappy
Her:whatmakesy outhinkhewon'tl
eav
ey ou
formaturegirl
s?thispregnancy
?Babygirl
wake
andsmel lthecoffee.Thisboyf
ri
endofyours
will
soonfindhisagemat esnotsomekidwho's
ontopoft hatpregnant
Me:
hewon'
tl
eav
ebecausehel
ovesme
Her:
keeptell
i
ngy ourselfthat.
.nowaday
sthey
dontabandontheirkids..
he'sgoingtot
akecare
ofhi
schildbutasf orwena. .
-
Istoodupandwal kedoutsi
denotwil
li
ngto
hearmore.Isatbehindthehouseandsil
ent
ly
cri
ed.Ihaveneverhadanargumentwithmy
mom asheat edasthisone.
Idi
dn'
tev
enwhattothi
nk.Af
terawhi
l
eSam
cameandsatbesi
desme.
Hi
m:she'
sst
il
langr
y
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:shewi
l
lcomear
ound
Me:
Ihopei
twon'
tbet
ool
ate
Hi
m:t
ool
ate?
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
.
Yester
daymysoci
alsubscr
ipt
ionended.
.I
'
m
sorr
yFam

[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t55
KRI
S
.
.
Hi
m:t
ool
ate?
Me:
yeah.
.t
ool
ate
Hi
m:what
'sgoi
ngon?
Me:
remembert
hemi
grai
ne.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:Ihavebr ai
ntumorandt heyhav ef
oundita
bitl
ate..
Bandil
esaidhe'sgoingtogetmet he
most..well
thebestsurgeons..Butsti
l
lthe
chancesofnotmaki ngitarejusttoomuch
Hejustlookedatme,
probabl
ydi
gest
ingwhatI
j
ustsaid.
Me:he'
stheonewho' sfor
cingmetotell
you.
.andI'
m goingtohaveaC-sect
ionsot hat
t
hebabycanf inishi
tsful
lmonthsi
nagl ass
Hi
m:Wow!
Hest
oodupandl
eanedagai
nstt
hewal
l
Me:
I'
m scar
ed.
.I'
mreal
l
yscar
ed
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lhi
mtoseehowf
arhe'
swi
tht
he
sear
ch
Me:
hewant
st hesur
geryt
obedonequi
ckl
yso
t
oavoi
danyfurt
hercompl
icat
ions
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lhi
m..Godt
hisi
sfuckedup!
Me:y
oudon' tknowhowIf
eel
.
.nooneknows
howIfeel
..
howdeepmypainruns
Hesatbesidesmeagai
nandmademel
i
emy
headi
nhi sshoul
der
..
Me:I
'
m al
waysfeeli
ngl
i
kecrap.
.i
fitwasn'
tfor
t
hisbaby
..
Idontknowwher
eIwillbe
Hi
m:donttal
kli
ket
hat
..
wewi
l
ldeal
wit
hthi
sas
af
amily.
.
Me:Isi
gnedsomechi l
dcustodydocuments
withBandi
le.
.Becausemyf amilywant
stokeep
hischi
ldawayfrom hi
m..deali
ngwithi
tasa
famil
ymeansmyf amil
ytakingovermyli
fe
Hekeptqui
te.
.
Me:
i
tsnev
eraboutdeal
i
ngwi
thi
tasaf
ami
l
yit
s
aboutohhshe'
sfai
l
edherownl
i
fesowewi
l
l
pi
ckupt hepi
ecesf
orher
Hi
m:y
ouknowi
tsnotl
i
ket
hat
Me:
ohwr
eal
l
y?
Hi
m:wewantnot
hingbutt
hebestf
ory
ou
Me:
i
tdoesn'
tev
enf
eel
li
ket
hatSam.
.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgeti
nsi
de.
.Foodi
sready
Me:
I'
m nothungr
y
Ist
oodupandwal kedi
nsideandwentstr
aight
tomyr oom.Cl
osi
ngthedoorItookoutmy
phoneandcall
edBandi
le.Heansweredaft
era
whil
e..
Hi
m:but
ter
fl
y.
.ar
ri
vedsaf
ely
?
Me:
mhhm
Hi
m:ar
eyouok
Me:
Iwantt
odot
heC-
sect
ion
Hi
m:ok.
.Ihav
elookedar
oundandIhav
ebooked
youatAmster
dam,
Net
her
lands.If
oundt
hebest
Neurosur
geon
Me:
howmuchi
sit
?
Hi
m:l
eav
ethecost
stome
Hi
m:ift
heyperf
ormtheC-
secti
ont
henaf
tera
weekwewill
got oNet
her
lands
Me:Iwantt
osur
viv
eformy
..
ourdaught
erand
you.
.Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor
ebabe.
.howdi
ditgo?
Me:
Idontknow.
.It
oldSam..
I'
m sur
ehe'
stel
l
ing
t
hem..
youknowhowt heyar
e
Hi
m:dontwor
ryaboutt
hat
..
hav
eyoueat
en?
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:di
nner
?
Me:
I'
m nothungr
y
Hi
m:Idontwanty
oust
arv
ing
Me:
Ihadanar
gumentwi
thmom.
.I
'
m not
f
eel
i
ngf
ood
Him:dontst
arv
e..Iwon'
tsl
eepknowi
ngy
ounot
eati
ng
Me:canIhavet
heC-
sect
iontomor
row..Idont
wanttheBr
aint
umort
ospreadanyfur
ther
Hi
m:yeah..
Iwi
llbooky
ouinapri
vatehospit
al
t
herethenhav
easpecial
i
sttr
ansfer
redthere
Me:wehav
eenoughgoodspeci
ali
sther
e..
good
doct
ors
Hi
m:IknowbutI
'
m nott
aki
ngchancesKr
is.
.
Me:
soy
oucomi
ngt
omor
row?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Iwi
l
lbet
her
e
Me:
mymom st
il
ldi
sli
kesy
ou
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Him:Iwi
llbecomi ngwi
thIvybutIt
hinkshestil
l
hatesmebecauseIhav en'
tusedmychar m on
her.
.wai
ttil
lthatmomentIrunmychar m unt
o
her
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
youar
esof
ull
ofy
our
sel
f
Hi
m:I
'mt
ell
i
ngy
ou.
.y
ouusedt
ohat
eme.
.l
ook
t
oday
Me:
suchanegoy
ouhav
e
Hi
m:i
tst
het
rut
h..Ial
readymi
ssy
ou
Me:
wehav
en'
tgot
tenbackt
oget
her
Hechuckl
ed
Him:Idon'trememberusbreaki
ngupever.
.we
neverbreakupbabe..
neverwil
lwebreak
up.
.forgetitok?
Me:
yeah.
.mypar
ent
sar
egoi
ngt
omakeme
move
Hi
m:Iknow.
.
Me:
whatar
ewegoi
ngt
odo?
Hi
m: Icanal
wayscompr omise.
.Thats
l
ove..samewayyoucompr omisedforme,we
al
lknowi fi
twasn'
tformey ouwouldbei
n
Har
var
d
Me:
youwi
l
lmov
ewi
thme?
Him:
yeah..
Ihavebeent
hinki
ngofl
aunchi
nga
newbusiness
Me:
that
'sgr
eat
..
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
STCCi
sexpandi
ng
Hi
m:y
eah.
.t
heai
mist
omakemoney
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
andIsawt
henewLambor
ghi
ni
Hi
m:Ineedt
olookmyname,
thei
8isst
il
l
wai
ti
ngfory
ou..
Me:
Itol
dyou
Hi
m:Idontunder
standwhyyouwon'
ttakei
tin
t
hefi
rstpl
aceMrsThulani
Me:
i
tst
oomuchMrThul
ani
Hi
m:Iboughti
tbecausey
oumeansomucht
o
me,
youarewor
thmor
ethananyt
hinginthe
wor
ld,
whenwecomebackpl
easetakeit
Me:
Bandi
l
ei-
Hi
m:pl
ease.
.Pl
easet
akei
t.
.
Me:
ok
Hi
m:pr
omi
se?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:good.
.nowpl
easegoandeat
Me:
wher
eyounotl
i
steni
ng?
Hi
m:Iknowyoufoughtwi
thy
ourmom.
.but
pl
easegoandeat
Me:
Ireal
l
ydontl
i
key
ou
Him:andIlov
ey oumore.
.nowpleasegoand
eat.
.anddontthi
nkyouwill
fool
me
Me:
bye
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.now
Ihangupthentookadeepbreat
hbef
oregoi
ng
downstai
rs.Idi
dfeel
abithungr
y.
Iwalkedtothekit
chenignori
ngev eryone,
they
weresosilent
.Getti
nginthekit
chenIhear d
mom calli
ngme.Iwal kedbacktot hedini
ng
room wheretheywereallsi
tt
ed.Alex'seyes
wereredandt hewayev er
yonelookedatmeno
doubttheyknewnow.
Me:
Ma
Mom:
thef
oodi
sthi
ssi
de
Shesai
dpoi
nti
ngatt
hecasser
ole.
Inoddedt henwenttot hetabl
eandsatbesi des
Sam.Idi shedf ormy sel
fignori
ngtheireyeson
me.Istar tedeating,
Ididn'tr
eali
zeIwashungr y
unti
lIstar tedeati
ng.Mom hadcookedbaked
faj
it
as.Ir emembert herewasat i
mewher eI
usedtohat ethem buttodaytheydidn'tt
estas
horr
ibl
e.
Halfwayt hroughmypl at
e,myphonest arted
ri
nging,
itwasBandi l
e.Iknowhowmom hat esi
t
soIjustignoreditandcontinuedeati
ng.The
wayev eryonewassoqui te,especi
all
yAl ex.
Shesoneper sonwhonev erkeepsquite,not
ever.Shesreallyl
oud.
AfterIwasdoneIpushedmyplat
easidethen
dishedmy sel
ftheambr
osi
afr
uitsal
ad,moms
favouri
te.
Me:
whyt
hesi
l
ence?
If
inal
l
yasked,
thesi
l
encewasr
eal
l
ychoki
ngme.
Al
ex:
youhav
ebr
aint
umor
?
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ogett
reat
ed
Mom:
whydi
dyoukeept
hisawayf
rom usKr
is?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.Iwasscar
ed
Mom: doyouknowhowmuchIl
ovey
ou
Let
lhogonol
o?
Me:
Ilov
eyout
oo
Mom: keagor at
a..
thatalegone(Il
ov eyouso
much)y ouaremychi l
d,myninemont hs
Letl
hogonolo,
youaremydaught er
..Idonthave
anotherKri
sti
noutthere..Youtheonlyonlyone
Ikeptqui
teasIgotal
lemot
ional
.
Mom: andnomat t
erwhaty ouwi llal
way sbemy
daught er,
Idonthat eyourboy f
riend,I'
mj ust
tr
yingt oshowgor et hi
sguycanl eaveyou..he
willl
eav eforgrownupgi rls..I'
mt ell
i
ngbecause
Iknowt hi
s..
therear echancest hathecanl eave
youandhehasnot hingtol ose.Hehasahi sbig
companymaki ngmoney ,okgwet satsonedi
koloitsadi mill
ion..(
hedr i
v esexpensi vecar s)
hehasnot hi
ngt ol osewi t
hy oubuty ouont he
otherhand. .
,Idon'twanty oucr yingandt el
li
ng
meInev ertoldy ou..
I'
mj ustt el
li
ngy out he
possibili
ti
es..
Iknewshewasr i
ghtbutBandi
l
ewouldnever
l
eav eme..helov
esme.Ikeptonconv
inci
ng
my sel
fthat.
Sam:l
ethi
m dar
eleav
eyouaf
tergi
vi
ngy
oua
baby
Sam sai
dsqueezi
ngmyhandi
nassur
ance.
Mom:
whendi
dyouf
indoutaboutt
hebr
ain
t
umor
?
Me:
yest
erday
Mom:
Iwi
l
lcal
lyourf
ather
..
Me:ok.
.butIhav
eal
readyf
oundagood
sur
geon..
Mom:
ohhwhoi
sit
?
Me:he'
sinNet
her
lands..
Bandil
eisal
ready
makingmeanappointment.
.I'
m sur
ehecan
bookti
cket
sfory
oualsot ocomewith
Mom:
hehas?
Sam:y
es..
andit
'sexpensi
vebuthe'
spayi
ng.
.I
thi
nkthat
senoughproofhewon'tl
eav
eherMa
Mom:
i
tmi
ghtnotbet
oday
Al
ex:
soy
ouwi
l
lbef
lyi
ngt
oNet
her
lands?
Me:afterIdoaC-secti
on.
.t
hedoctorsai
d
undergoingthesurger
ywhil
esti
l
lpregnanti
s
putt
ingt hebabyatri
sk
Mom:
soy
ouar
egoi
ngt
ohav
eac-
sect
ion?
Me:
yest
henIwi
l
ldot
hesur
ger
y
Mom:
andt
her
iskst
haty
ouwi
l
lbef
aci
ngar
e?
Me:
Idontknow.
.Imi
ghtnotmakei
t
Icoul
dseeshewasget
ti
ngdr
ainedbyal
lthi
s..
Me:butBandi
l
esayshe'
staki
ngmetothebest
sur
geonoutther
esoIbeli
eveIwi
l
lbeokaft
er
al
lthi
s
Leah:
whenar
eyoudoi
ngt
hesur
ger
y?
Me:
I'
m notssure,
butIthoughtmay
beIcoul
d
t
heC-sect
iontomorrow..
Mom:sonott
odelaythesur
ger
y..Igeti
t.
.Iwi
l
l
t
akecareofy
ourchil
d..
Me:
thanky
ousomuch.
.
Ist
oodupandwal
kedt
ohert
henhuggedher
,I
coul
dn'
thel
pmyt
ear
s.
Mom:
aft
eral
lshesmygr
andchi
l
d
Me:
Ilov
eyou
Mom:
Il
ovey
oumor
e
Mom:Iwi
ll
cal
lyourdad.
.andIneedt
ospeakt
o
t
hatboy
Al
exl
aughed.
.
Al
ex:
ahhMama.
.gat
wet
hatboy
Mom chuckl
ed.
.
Mom:
whatcanwesay
..
Sam:
excuseme.
.
Hest
oodupanddi
sappear
edupst
air
s.
Leah:
I'
m gl
adev
ery
thi
ngi
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine
Me:
don'
twor
ryabouti
t.
.
Leah:
I'
m st
il
ltheGodmot
heroft
hechi
l
dri
ght
?
Al
ex:
NyaammaLeah.
.I
'
mtheGodmot
her
Itfel
tmuchbetternow,ever
yonewasconv
inced
expectonlyme,
any t
hingcouldgowr
ongand
thatwouldbeit
.
.
LEAH
.
Afterdi
nnerIlayKri
s'sbedbesidesher,whil
e
mymi ndj ustr
anwithme.Qhadn' tcal
ledand
i
t'ssounlikehimtodot hat
,maybehe'sthinki
ng
aboutwhathe' smom said.Il
ookedatKr i
swho
wasbesi desmeont hephonewi thBandil
e.The
wayshewassmi li
ngy ouwouldswearshesnot
thepersonwhohasbr ai
ntumor.
Her
:no.
.becauseIwaseat
ing.
.Yes.
.
Shegi
ggl
ed.
.
Her
:t
hatwoul
dn'
thav
ebeensobad.
.
What
everhewassay
ingwasreal
l
ymaki
ngher
l
osei
t.
.herf
acewastur
ningr
ed.
Her
:mhhm.
.di
dyoueat
?..I
sitwor
king?
Shelaughed.Theykeptatitforsomemor efew
minutesandevenwentt otheextentofki
ssing
eachotheroverthephone.Itwasreall
ycuteif
youaskme.Af tershehungupshet hrewthe
phonebesideshershelookedatmesmi l
i
ng
fr
om eartoear.
Her
:sohowar
eyouf
indi
ngBot
s?
Me:
Kri
sI'
m scar
ed
Shetur
nedandlookedatme,
shewasbegi
nni
ng
togetwor
ri
ed.
Her
:scar
ed?
Me: scaredofever
ythi
ngt
hat
'
shappeni
ng,
Q
hasn'tcall
edyet
Her
:may
behe'
sbusy
Me:
ormay
bet
hef
actt
hatI
'
minf
ert
il
e-
Ist
oppedtal
ki
ngbecauseIdi
dn'
twantt
othi
nk
abouti
t.
Her:
howmanyt i
mesdoIhav
etot
ell
yout
hat
youarenoti
nfer
ti
le?
Me:
Idontknowwhatt
othi
nk
Her:
Iwil
lsmackyourassnextt
imey
out
alk
aboutbei
nginf
ert
il
e
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
may
behe'
sjustbusy
Her
:yes.
.nowst
opst
ressi
ng.
.
Me:
can'
tbel
i
evey
ouwi
l
lbeoutt
omor
row.
.
Ir
ubbedhert
ummyt
henshest
il
led.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?
Her
:shej
ustmov
ed.
.
Shet
ookmyhandandpl
acedi
tont
hebump.
.
I
ndeedshewasmov
ing.
.
Me:
thi
sisni
ce
Her:
yeah.
.sowhatdi
dQgety
ouf
ory
our
bi
rt
hdaypr esent
?
Me:
alotofshi
t.
.
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:r
eal
l
y?
Me:
yeah.
.hegav
emer
easonswhyhel
ovesme
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:t
hat
scut
e..
Me:
yeah.
.
Outofev er
yoneinmyl i
fe,
IthinkKri
scomes
fi
rst
.Notsol ongagoshewasj ustmer
enew
comer,soreservedandstill
is.Nomatterhow
muchshecoul dhideitbutIcouldseethefear
i
nherey esbutthenshet r
iedbyallmeansto
coveri
tup.
.
Wewer eseati
ngatthehospit
alBandil
ehad
bookedherint
o.Bandil
earri
vedearl
yinthe
morningwit
hhismot her
.Itwasactual
lyfunny
becauseheknockedont hedoor
,t
henluckilyI
'
m
theonewhoopenedt hedoorbecausei fitwas
Kri
sshecoul dhav ehadahear tattack.Theway
Kri
sf r
ozewhenshesawhi m. .i
twasf unny
becauseshewasscar ed..Scar edthather
mothercoul dbashhi mtoget herwithhis
motherbuti nsteadt heunexpect edhappened.
Kri
s'smom wasact uall
ynice,theytalkedabout
thesurgeryandal l.Hewaswear i
ngaj acket
andIguessedi twast ocov erupt hetatoos.
Kri
swasj ustquitethroughoutt hewhol e
conversation.Alexont heot herhandwasj ust
exci
tedt oseehi m,theyjustcl i
cked.Isatinthe
wait
ingr oom wi t
hAl ex.
Al
ex:
doy
out
hinkshesgoi
ngt
obeok?
Me:
yeah.
.Shewi
l
lmakei
t
Shehast
o..
Myphonevi
brat
edfrom myjeansmaki
ngme
st
andup.It
ookitoutandi
twasQ.
Me:
hi
Him:heyI
'
m sor
ryIdi
dn'
tcal
lyest
erday
,was
busyashell
Me:
i
tsok
Hi
m:how'
sev
ery
thi
nggoi
ng?
Me:
Kri
sishav
ingt
heC-
sect
iont
oday
Hi
m:shesgoi
ngt
obeok
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcomet
her
eforsuppor
t
Me:
thatwi
l
lbeni
ce
Hi
m:okl
etmebat
h..
Ilov
eyou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hethenhungup.IwalkedbacktoAl
exbutshe
waswitht
hisotherboys,
theywer
eactual
l
yfour
i
ncl
udingTshepie.
Alex
:ohhummhguy smeetLeahKr
is'
sfr
iend
andLeahmeetDy lan,
BK,
andAntonyandmy
boyfr
iendTshepi
e
Shesai
dpoi
nti
ngatt
hem.
Tshepi
e:wehav
emet
TheBkguydeci
dedt
oshakehandswi
thme.
.
BK:
wear
eal
lherf
ri
ends
Me:
wel
li
tsni
cemeet
ingy
oual
l
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Dy
lan:
hiLeah,
I
'm Dy
lanandI
'
m si
ngl
e
Thewhol
ecr
ewl
aughed.
.
Me:wellhi
Dyl
an,
nicemeet
ingy
ouandI
'
mina
r
elat
ionshi
p
Theyl
aughed.
.
Dy
lan:
wecanal
way
srepl
ace
Ij
ustl
aughed.
.Thi
sguy
swer
ehi
l
ari
ous
Antony
:dontmindt
hem.
.Iwi
l
lpr
otecty
ouf
rom
thi
svult
ures.
.
Hesaidcomi
ngcl
oset
omeandhol
dingmy
hand.
.
BK:say
st heLion..Hedat
esChi
nesegi
rl
s..
ify
ou
notChineseforgetit
Ant
ony
:br
uhwhenl
astdi
dyougetl
aid?
Dy
lan:
itsbeenl
ong.
.i
tsbeenl
ong!
Ant
ony
:nowonder
BK:
mxm say
stheguywhoj
erksof
f
Theywentonandonli
kethist
hatmyr i
bseven
hurt
.Afterawhi
l
eKri
s'
smom t oget
herwit
h
Bandil
esmom andSam cameback.
Sam:
maj
i
ta!
Dy
lan:
Mr!
BK:
MrHar
var
d
Ant
onyl
aughed.
.
Ant
ony
:ssup?
Tshepi
e:gat
weMrHar
var
d..
kant
ebat
hoba
mentalbakae?
Sam:
y'
al
ll
ookf
resh
Ant
ony
:asusual
Kr
is'
smothercl
ear
edhert
hroatsi
l
enci
ng
ev
eryone.
.
Her
:boy
s!
Ant
ony
:Di
mamzo
Tshepi
e:number1l
adyi
nthel
i
st
Her
:howar
eyou?
Dy
lan:
wegood,
how'
sshe?
Her:
wellt
heyarest
il
lpr
epari
ngher
..
youcango
seeherbefor
etheoper
ati
on
Shelookedabi
tof
f,
probabl
ywor
ri
edabouther
daughter
.
Wewal kedtoherr
oom af
tershedi
rect
edus.
Gett
inginsi
deshewaswithanursewhowas
fi
xi
ngsomet hi
ng.Shesmi
ledassoonasshe
sawus.
.
KRI
S
.
Seeingthem wasjusthear
twarmi
ng.Even
thoughthecrazi
nessistoomuchbuttheyar
e
thebestinl
if
tingsomeoneelse'
smood.
Dy
lan:
how'
sourbabymyl
ove?
Me:
she'
sok.
.
BK:hai
iit
hisbabyi
shuge.
.l
ookhowshewant
s
toburstyourst
omach
Wel
aughed,
trustBKt
osayt
hat
..
Tshepi
e:y
oudi
ssedmey
est
erday
Hesai
dhuggi
ngme
Me:
soor
ry.
..
pleeease
Tshepi
e:ok.
.howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
Iwi
l
lbef
ine.
.
Ant
ony
:myl
ady
Me:
hey
..
Hecameandgav
emeawar
m bearhug.
Me:
Imi
ssedy
ou
Ant
ony
:met
oo.
.somuchhashappened
Me:
i
tsl
i
fe
Ant
ony
:youhav
etosur
viv
e..
Idontknowwhotol
dt hem butitmusthav
e
beenTshepi
eaf
terAlextol
dhi m.
Me:
yeah.
.
Bk:
i
tsmyt
urn.
.
Hepul
l
edAnt
onyawayf
rom met
henhugged
me.
BK:
Imi
ssedy
ou
Me:
met
oo
BK:t
lhammatel
lyourboy
fri
endt
obookmea
fl
i
ghttoNet
herl
ands
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
l
Dy
lant
hencameandst
oodbesi
desBK.
Dy
lan:
BK,
l
ookatLeah.
.
BKmov edabi
ttolookatLeahandashedi
d
thatDy
lant
ookhisspace.
Dy
lan:
hel
i
kest
hingst
oomuch.
.
Hehuggedmet
ight
ly.
BK:
gor
il
lakewena!
Dylan:
y ouwantt
oplayPS4whenyoucome
backfrom Net
herl
andsatmycr
ib?
Me:
Iwoul
dlov
eto
Dy
lan:
itsadat
e..
Het
henhel
dmyhand.
.
BK:don'
ttouchherhand,
gat
weherboy
fri
endke
therock
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ohhmyGod.
.y
ouguy
s
Ant
ony
:youdi
dn'
thearwel
l
..
it
sBr
ockLesner
Theyal
ll
aughed.
.
Leahcameandst
oodatt
heot
hersi
dewi
th
Alex
.
Leah:
hey
Me:
hey
..
Al
ex:
howdoesi
tfeel
?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
scar
y
Al
ex:
youwi
l
lbef
ine
Me:
yeah.
.
Leah:
Ican'
twai
ttoseet
hel
i
lbaby
Me:
met
oo
Al
ex:
okaeTr
eysongz?
Dy
lan:
it'
sTher
ocknotTr
ey
Leah:
youguy
sar
ejeal
ous
BK:hai
kona!
wenotj
eal
ous.
.Justst
ati
ngt
he
tr
uth..
Tshepi
e:i
fhe'
sBr
ockLesner
..
he'
sBr
ock
Lesner
..
gat
weTr
ey!
Al
ex:
keTr
eyabut
i.
.
Afterawhi
lethenursehadt
oldt
hem t
oleave,
there'
snooneloudermoret
hanthi
speopl
e.
Nur
se:
youhav
e10mi
nut
es
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngoutj
ustt
henBandi
l
ecamei
n..
Me:l
etmeguess.
.y
ouhadmyf
ri
endschased
out
Hi
m:Tr
eysongzal
soneedt
imewi
thy
ou
Il
aughed.
.
Me:dontmakemelaugh,
theyinj
ectedmewith
somethingonmybackanditsabitpai
nful
Hi
m:y
ouar
egoi
ngt
obef
ine
Me:
ok
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:
Idon'
tfeel
it
Hi
m:It
hinkshesgoi
ngt
obepr
ett
yli
key
ou
Ibl
ushed.
.
Me:
Iwanty
out
obeher
ewhent
heydoi
t
Hi
m:babethi
sisnotnor
malbi
rt
h..
theywon'
tl
et
meeit
herwaybecausei
tsanoper
ation
Me:
ok
Hi
m:butIwi
l
lbewai
ti
ngf
ory
ou
Me:
whati
fsomet
hinghappenst
omeor
..
-
Him:not
hingwi
l
lhappent
oyoubabe,
youar
e
safe
Me:
ok
Hi
m:Ithi
nkyouj
ustneedaki
sst
omakey
ou
f
eelbett
er
Igi
ggled,
aft
erawhi
lehewaski ssi
ngmehard
ashesoftl
ybitmyl
owerlipagainandagai
n.He
pul
ledputaft
erawhil
e..
Hi
m:i
fwedontst
op.
.i
mmaf
ucky
ouont
hisbed
Igi
ggl
edshy
ly.
Me:Ndil
eremembert
het
imeIgav
eyouback
yourhousekey
s?
Hi
m:Idon'
tl
ikewher
ethi
sisgoi
ng.
.
Me:
whowast
hatgi
rl
?
Hi
m:someonenoti
mpor
tant
Me:
who'
sshet
oyou?
Hi
m:Idontwanty
ouupset
Me:
Ij
ustwannaknow?
who'
sshe?
Hi
m:someExf
uck
Me:
yousl
eptwi
thhert
hatday
?
Hi
m:noIdi
dn'
t
Il
ookedinhiseyesandi
tdi
dn'
tseem l
i
kehe
waslyi
ng.Inodded.
.
Hi
m:Ihav
enev
ersl
eptwi
thherev
ersi
ncey
ou
Me:
I'
m hungr
y
Hi
m:t
hedoct
orsai
dyoushoul
dn'
teatany
thi
ng.
.
Justt
hent
henur
secamebackbutshewasn'
t
al
onenow.
.shehadamal
enur
sebesi
desher
..
Ndi
l
e:Iwi
l
lbewai
ti
ngok?
Me:
promi
se?
Hi
m:pr
omi
se
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e
Theywheel edmet osomer oom.Iwasst art
ing
togetscar ed.Whenwegott here, t
heymade
mel ieont hebedt hatwast hereal r
eady .They
thent ookof ft
hehospi talgown,t hatwasshi tlet
met ellyou.Ilayont hebedpat i
ent lybutmy
heartwasbeat i
ngf ast.Forawhi lethereIlet
my selfcal
m down.Af teraf ewseconds2guy s
camewear ingbluest henincludingt henur se
theywer e3becauset heot herwentback. .
Whenthetwoguyst
hatl
ookedl
i
kedoct
ors
cameIknewshi
twasreal
.
Theotheronecametomyf aceastheot
herone
putsomethi
ngli
keacurt
ainsothatInol
onger
seewhat'
shappeni
ng.
Guy:
hi,
I
'm Cal
vi
nandthatsmycol
l
eague
Ki
th.
.what'
syourname?
Me:
I'
m Kr
is
Cal
vi
n:ni
cename.
.
It
ookdeepbr
eat
handpr
ayedsi
l
ent
ly.Thi
swas
i
t
.
BANDI
LE
.
Wai t
inghasnev erbeenoneofmyst r
ongest
points.Seati
ngtherenotknowi
ngwhatwas
goingon.Icouldseeshewasscar ed,
sowas
I
..st
il
l i
s.It
sbeen2hour salr
eadyandthere'
sno
feedbackf r
om anyone.
I
vy:
shewi
l
lbef
ine
Me:
i
tsbeen2hour
sal
ready
I
vy:
shewi
l
lbef
ineAndi
l
e
Me:
Idon'
twantt
oloseherMa
Iv
y:y
ouwon't
..Youguy
swi
l
lev
engetmar
ri
ed
andhav
ekids
Me:
Idi
dsomet
hing
I
vy:
whati
sit
?
Me:i
tsbad.
.ver
ybad,
IknowI
'
m abadper
sonbut
t
histakesi
tall
I
vy:
whatdi
dyoudo?
Me:IwasscaredIwi
lll
oseher,Imeanifi
t
wasn'
tfort
hebraint
umor..Thenshe.
.shewas
st
il
lgoi
ngtoleaveme
I
vy:
Wenzeni
?(whatdi
dyoudo?
)
Me:
IgotKr
isandImar
ri
ed
I
vy:
what
?
Me:
Igotusmar
ri
ed.
.Wel
lshedoesn'
tknowi
t
I
vy:
Nkosi
yami
yini
loy
enzi
l
e(whathav
edone)
Me:
Ngi
yaxol
i
sa(
I'
m sor
ry)
I
vy:
wenzeni
?yoooh!
Nkosi
yami
Shestoodup,
wewer
enotsi
tt
edcl
osert
othe
other
s.
Me:
Ngi
yaxol
i
saMa
Iv
y:Ungayenzakanj
anilentoi
yenzil
e?Uy
ayazi
kodwalentoyenzil
e?(
howcoul dyoudothat
?do
youknowwhaty ouhav edone?)
Me:Ngangiphushel
ekeekhoneni
,ngangi
ngazi
ngenzenj
ani(Iwaspushedint
oacorner,
Ididn'
t
knowwhatdo)
I
vy:Ngi
dingaungi
nikei
skhat
hingi
bengedwa(
i
needsomespace)
Shewalkedout.Itookadeepbr eat
h.WhatIdid
wasjustpur
e..
.badbutIcouldn'tl
ose,
Ijust
can'
t
.Notaftereveryt
hingwe'vebeenthrough.
Isatdownandbur
iedmyf
acei
nmyhead.
Aft
erawhileIf
eltt
hepr
esenceofsomeone.I
rai
sedmyheadupandlookedbesi
desme.It
wasAlex.
Her
:hey
Me:
Kit
ty
Shel
aughed.
.
Her:
don'
tcal
lmet
hat
..
Idontl
ookl
i
keKi
tt
ypl
us
Ihat
ecoolcat
s
Me:mycousi
nli
kethose.
.andasf
arasI
'
m
concer
nedyoul
ooklikeKit
ty
Her:
mxm..
kant
ewhenar
etheygoi
ngt
otel
lus
what'
sgoi
ngon?
Me:
soonIguess
Her
:doy
out
hinkshewi
l
lmakei
t?
Me:
yeahshehast
o
Her
:yeah
Shel
aughed.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:Ij
ustr
ememberedt
hisot
herv
ideoIhav
eof
meandKrissi
ngi
ng.
.
Me:
l
etmeseei
t
Her:
Iwanttostr
etchmylegssodeal
isIshow
youthevi
deothenwetakeawalk
Me:Ihav
etohir
eyoui
nmycompany
..Yougood
atwhatyoudo
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:ohhwhyMr
..
Bandi
l
ethanky
ou
Il
aughed.
.
Shetookoutherphoneandst
art
edpl
ayi
ngt
he
vi
deo.
Her
:Iwasf
orm 1andherf
orm3
Shedidlookyoungandf
reeandhappy
..
happi
er
thanIhaveev
erseenher.
Shewassi
ngi
ng.
.
"
LastFr
idayni
ght
Yeahwedancedont
abl
etops
Andwet
ookt
oomanyshot
s
Thi
nkweki
ssedbutIf
orgot

LastFr
idayni
ght
Yeahwemax
edourcr
edi
tcar
ds
Andgotki
ckedoutoft
hebar
Sowehi
ttheboul
evar
d"
Shethenstoppedsi
ngi
ngandstar
tedl
aughi
ng.
Igav
et hephonebackt
oAlex.
Me:
Ineedt
hatv
ideo
Her
:ahhh!
Kri
swil
lki
l
lme!
li
keMURDER!Hang
mealiv
ethensl
i
ceme
Me:
Ithi
nkwecanst
ri
keadeal
MissThompson
.
"
Kri
sti
nMacv
erdana'
sfami
l
y"av
oicesai
d
makingmeturn.Itwasthedoctor.Istoodup
andwalkeduptohim.Ther estcamebehind,
mom wassitti
ngwithKris'
smot herandAlex
hadgoneback.Ithadbeen3hour smoreof
si
tt
ingdown,Iwasevenst ar
ti
ngt owonder.
Dr:
theoper
ati
onwasasuccess,wehadaf
ew
compli
cati
onsthatder
ail
edus.
I
vy:
how'
sshe?
Dr:
thebabyisf
ineassuspectedshewast oo
weaksoweputheri nanincubat
orjustunti
l
shesstr
ongenoughbutthatwon'tbesoon
becauseshesaprematur
e.
Me:
whataboutKr
is?
Al
ex:
how'
sshe?
Dr:
MrThulani
..
herhear
tbeatweakeneddur
ing
caesar
eansecti
onoperat
ion.
.
Me:
what
?
Mywhol
ewor
ldst
opped.
Dr:
butshesfi
nenowandt
hatwaswhatdel
ayed
us.
.shesok,
andt
hebabyi
sok
Me:
canweseeher
?
Dr
:yes,
butsheneedst
orest
..
Mr
sThompsonwi
pedhert
ear
s.
Thedoct orwal
kedawayast heywal
kedto
Kri
s'
sr oom butIdi
dn'
tIfol
l
owedt hedoctor
.I
wantedtoseeher ,
Iwant
edtoseeourlit
tl
e
bundleofjoy.
.
KRI
S
.
Iexpect
edtoseeBandi l
efir
st,
well
Iwantedt
o
seehimfir
st.
.t
ogetherwithourchi
ldbutmy
famil
ycamef i
rst
..
alloft
hem,evenIvywhowas
smili
ng.
Mom:
ohhGod!
Mom cameandki
ssedmyf
orehead.
.
Mom:
wewer
ewor
ri
ed.
.
Me:
I'
m ok
Dy
lan:
mybehi
ndev
enhur
ts
BK:
eishmi
net
oo
Me:
I'
mfi
ne
Leah:
wher
e'st
hechi
l
d?
Me:
i
ncubat
or
Leah:
I'
m gl
ady
ouok.
.Iwasscar
ed
Me:
wher
e'sBandi
l
e?
Theyal
ltur
ned.
.
I
vy:
Ithoughthewasher
e..Thi
sboy
!
Alex:
Ithi
nkhef
oll
owedt
hedoct
ort
ogetaf
ull
repor
t
Inodded.
.
Mom wi
pedhert
ear
s..
Mom:
I'
m gl
ady
ouok
Me:
yeah.
.
Theystayedf
orabit,
thentheywentwhen
vi
sit
inghourwasover.It
houghthecouldj
ust
walkinbuthenev
erdid.Myheartwasheavy,
I
coul
dn'tseemychil
d..
oreventheguywhohas
myhear t
.
AsIlayther
eanur
sef
inal
l
ycamewi
tha
wheelchai
r.
Me:
am Igoi
ngt
oseemychi
l
dnow?
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:yes.
.
JustthenBandi
l
eemer
ged.Myt
ear
sjust
gushedout.
.
Me:
Ithoughty
ouwer
egone
Hi
m:hey
..
Hecameandki
ssedmyl
i
ps.
.
Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
myl
owerbodyi
sjustnumb.
.di
dyouseeher
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.shest
iny
..
andhascur
lyhai
r
Me:
ever
ychi
l
dhascur
lyhai
r
Him:
notev
erychi
l
d..
I'
m goi
ngt
ocar
ryy
ounow
babe
Inoddedthenhegent
lyscoopedmeandplaced
meslowlyonthewheelchair
.If
li
nchedasIsat
asIfel
tanunfamil
i
arfeel
ing.
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
mhhm.
.
Hepushedmet owherev ermybabywas.
Gett
ingtomybabyIfeltallemoti
onalagai
n.
Shewasi nagl
ass,
Itr
ailedmyf i
ngeronthe
gl
ass..
Me:
shessot
iny
..
Hi
m:Iknow.
.Shewi
l
lbef
ine
Me:l
ookatourendpr
oduct.
.I
'
m amom. .
I'
m
someone'
smotherBandi
l
e..I
'm amom
Hi
m:y
ouar
ebabe,
andy
ouwi
l
lmakeagr
eat
mom.
.
Hi
m:Ihav
eaname
Me:
and?
Hi
m:Si
mphi
weLet
habi
l
eThul
ani
Itri
edlaughi
ngbuti t
..
hurtabi
t.
.t
henumbness
wasbegi nni
ngt ozoneoffandt
heunfami
li
ar
feel
ingwaski cki
ngin..
Me:
whydomynamehav
etocomesecond?
Hi
m:becausebecause.
.
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Me:
i
tsabeaut
if
ulname
Hi
m:y
eah.
.f
orourbeaut
if
ulpr
incess
IwishIcoul
djusthol dher ,
i
tseemedl i
keshe
wasasleepandrightt hereIhadagoal .Iwas
goi
ngt omakeitforherandBandi le.Ther
ewas
nothi
ngmor eIwant edthanhav eherand
Bandil
ewithmef orever..Ididn'
tcarewhowas
goi
ngt osayshi
torwhatbutt hi
swasmynew
f
ami
l
y..Comer
aincomet
hunder
!
.
AfterawhileIwasputtobacktotheroom with
Bandil
ebesidesme, t
heygavemesomepi l
l
sf or
thepainIwasst ar
ti
ngtofeel
,t
henumbness
wasdi ssol
vingandpainwastaki
ngov er
.Ilay
thereastheymademecomf ort
ableandall
.
Him:Ihadschedul edy
ouf ort
heEndoscopi
c
endanasal skul
lbasebutIgavet
hem your
resul
tstheywi l
lhavetodothenormal
neurosurgery
Me:
ok
Hi
m:I
'
m sur
eyourhai
rwi
l
lgr
owback
Me:
yeah.
.
Him:
andIwi
l
lst
il
ll
ovey
oust
il
lwi
thorwi
thout
hai
r
Il
ookedathi
m andsmi
l
ed.
.
Me:
promi
se?
Hi
m:pr
omi
se.
.Ipr
omi
sebabe
Hehuggedmeintoxi
cati
ngmewi
thhi
sCol
ogne.
Hej
ustsmeltsogood..
.
BANDI
LE
.
Ilookedathersl eep,itwasar ound1900hr s.
Justaf ewhour sagoshewasi nseverepain
becauseoft hest i
tches.Thedoct orshadto
givehersomet hingf orthepai nandt hatdosed
herof f
.Ikissedherl ipsbef orewal ki
ngout ,
I
hatedt oleav eherbutIj ustcoul dn'
tseatinthe
hospitalthewhol eday .Idecidedt ogogether
food,event hought hehospi talhadal r
eadygiven
hersomet hing.Allshehadt oeatwasl i
qui
ds.I
walkedt omycarasIdi al
edSenzeni 'snumber .
.
Me:
dawg.
.
Hi
m:i
twentwel
l
..
Me:
good!Iwi
l
lmeetupwi
thDonnanextweek
Hi
m:ok.
.
Me:
Ithi
nkf
ornowwecanj
ustl
ayl
ow
Hi
m:whataboutt
hebank?
Me:
Qwant
sin.
.t
alkt
ohi
m
Hi
m:ok.
.
Me:
Iwi
l
lseey
ou.
..
ThenIhungupbutasIdi
dthatIbumpedorshe
bumpedint
ome,butwhat
everiti
sshespi
ll
ed
hercof
feeonme.
Me:
fuck!
wil
lyouj
ustwat
chi
t!
Her
:ohhmyGoodI
'
m sor
ry
Me:
shi
t,
it
sok!
Mywhol
eshi
rtwasj
ustcof
fee.
.
Her
:pl
ease.
.Letmeumhh.
.
Shet
henkeptqui
te.
.
Her
:youar
e..
God.
.Ioncesawy
ou
Ij
ustl
ookedather
..
Her:
I'
m Luci
abuttheycall
meLulu.
.I
m
Let
lhogonol
o'
sfri
end..Yourememberme?
we
metatMochudi
Me:
am Isupposedt
oremembery
ou?
Shef
lushed.
.
Her
:ummh.
.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tthi
nkso.
.
Iwal
kedt
omycal
lannoy
ed,
somef
uckencunt
!
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
Guyspl
easel
et'
skeepthespi
ri
tofcomment
ing
nli
ki
ng.
.muchmaratosfr
om me
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t56
KRI
S
.
.
"I
tsti
met ogoKr is"thenursesai
dasItrail
ed
myhandont heincubator,
shewasstil
l
connectedtodri
ps. i
tseemedlikeshewas
beingti
redbutthatwast heonlyway.Shewas
peaceful
lysl
eeping.Shewasr eall
yti
ny,and
veryli
ghtincompl exi
on.
Me:
she'
ssl
eepi
ng.
.
Isaidwi
pingof
fmyt
ear
s,Iwi
shedIcoul
djust
holdher
.
Nurse:andbeaut
if
ul.
.Youhav
ear
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
bl
essingthere
Ismiled,
itsbeenthr
eedayssi
nceIhavebeen
here.Thesti
tchesst
il
lhur
tbutIdi
dn'
tcare.
Theywer eprooft
othebeaut
if
ulsoul
thatlay
beforeme.
Me:
Ican'
twai
ttohol
dher
Justt
henshest
art
edcr
ying.
.
Me:
canIpl
easehol
dher
Nurse:
Ican'
ttakeheroutofthei
ncubat
or
wit
houtthedoctor
'spermissi
on
Me:
j
ustf
orasecond.
.Justsoshekeepsqui
te.
.
Nur
se:
Kri
s
Me:
please.
.I'
m beggi
ngy
ou.
.j
ustasec
Shewasst i
llcry
ing, t
henursesi ghedasshe
cameov ertotheincubator,
thent ookherout
andhandhert omewi thherdrips.Itookadeep
breathasIheldher,shewasn'tev enheavy.I
rockedherbackandf or
thinmyar msast ears
cascaded.Thefeelingwasj ustoutoft hi
swor l
d.
Shekeptquiteafterawhi l
ebuti tseemedl i
ke
shewashav inghiccups.
Nur
se:
Ithi
nkIshoul
dputherback.
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsme.
"Whatonear t
hisgoingi
n?"Bandi
lesv
oicesai
d
start
li
ngherabitbutshedidn'
tcr
ybutint
he
otherhandthenursepani
cked.
Nur
se:
she.
.ummh-
IhandPhiwetohersof
tly
.Shetookherandput
herbackint
heincubat
orthenpushedmeback
totheroom.
Ndi
l
e:whatt
heheckwasgoi
ngon?
Nur
se:
she.
.I
..
-
Ndi
l
e:what
?don'
tyouknowhowt
odoy
ourj
ob?
Me:
Bandi
l
est opit
..
shewascry
ing,
i
tsnother
f
aul
tit
sme..
Ijustwant
edtohol
dher
Ndil
e:babewi
thoutt
hedoct
or'
sappr
oval
you
notsu-
Me:Iknow..Tr
ustmeIdo..
Ijustwantedtohol
d
herforafewseconds.
.Shedidn'
tdie.
.pl
ease
dontbemad
Ndi
l
e:I
'
m notmadaty
oui
-
Me:
don'
tbemadatany
one.
.
Istoodupslowly,t
hedoctorsaidIshoul
dstart
practi
cingwalki
ng.I
thurtbecauseconsi
deri
ngI
wassi t
tingi
nacomf or
tableposit
ionandnowI
hav
etost
andup.
Hewalkedt
owardsmeandsuppor
tedmeby
put
ti
nghishandonmyback.
Ndi
l
e:st
il
lhur
ts?
Me:mhhm..
ummht hanky
ouNur
seSasaandI
'
m
sor
ry.
.onhi
sbehal
f
Shenoddedandwal
kedout
..
Me:
youshoul
dn'
thav
ethr
ewaf
eet
Ndi
l
e:I
'
m sor
rybutIdon'
twantt
otakechances
Me:youar
ejustov
err
eact
ing.
.Shekeptqui
teas
soonasIhel
dher
Ndi
l
e:becausey
ouar
ehermom.
.
Me:
yeah.
.di
dyoubr
ingt
hey
our
ghut
?
Ndi
l
e:y
eah.
.l
et'
swal
ktot
hebed.
.
Sl
owlywewal
kedt
othebedt
henhemademe
si
tdown.
Het
hent
ookhi
spl
ast
icbagt
hent
ookout
hundredpercentj
uicet
ogetherwi
tht
he
yourghutandhandonlythejui
cet
ome.
Him:y
ouknowy
ougoi
ngt
oNet
her
landsi
n3
daysri
ght
?
Me:
mhhm
Hi
m:Kr
is
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:whati
s"mhhm"supposedt
omean?
Me:
I'
m st
il
li
npai
n
Hi
m:youaregoi
ngt obefi
ne.
.t
heyhav
eal
lthe
r
equi
rementsneeded.
..
Me:
ok
Heki
ssedme.
.
Hi
m:y
ouwi
l
lbef
ine.
.Ipr
omi
se
Me:
ok
Hi
m:good.
.Dr
inkt
hat
Hesai
dpoi
nti
ngatt
hej
uicet
hatwasi
nmy
hand.
Ismi
l
edopeni
ngi
t.
.
Me:
wannadr
inkwi
thme?
Befor
ehecouldanswerthedoorswungopen
andAlexwal
kedinsti
l
linherschooluni
for
m,
butshewasn'
tal
one.Shewaswi t
hLulu.
Me:
Lul
u..
Lul
u:ohmyGodKr
is!
Shecameandhuggedme.
.
Me:
modi
mo!
how.
.?
Lul
u:Ihav
emyway
s..
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?Kana
Iwaswor r
ied
Me:
I'
mfi
ne,
onl
ysur
pri
sedt
oseey
ou
Lul
u:howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Al
ex:
ummhhi
..
hel
l
o..
!
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
hey
Alex:
howar
eyou?
heeBat
hongIwantt
osee
Letha.
.
Il
ookedatAndil
ewholookedr
atherannoy
ed.I
di
dn'
tunder
standhe'
ssuddenchangeofmood.
Me:
she'
ssl
eepi
ng
Al
ex:
thl
ammawenapl
eeeease.
.2seconl
y.
.Ndi
l
e?
Ndi
l
e:y
eahl
et'
sgo
Heki
ssedmycheekt
henleftwi
th
Al
ex,
somet
hingwasj
ustwrong.
Lul
u:so?
howdoesi
tfeel
?
Me:
what
?
Lul
u:hav
ingachi
l
d?bei
ngamom?
Me:wel
l
..i
ts..Idon'
tev
enknowwhatt
osay
..
it
s
ov
erwhelming
Lul
u:ai
n'
tyouscar
edhe'
sgoi
ngt
oleav
eyou?
Me:
nah.
.I
'
m notbecauseIknowI
'
m notgoi
ngt
o
l
osehi
m..he'
smine
Lulu:
heee!Gi
rl
..
niggasar
ebei
ngsnat
chedout
there
Me:
yeahbutnotmi
neany
wayhowar
eyou?
Wetal
kedforawhile,
thenAl
excamebackbut
camebackalone.
Me:
okaeNdi
l
e?
Her:
hesaidhe'
sgoi
ngsomewher
e..Hewi
l
lbe
backlat
er
Inodded.
.
Lul
u:y
ohmma,
Ihavetogo.
.y
ouknowIhav
eto
gobackt
oMochudi
Me:
ummhok,
thanksf
orv
isi
ti
ng
Shehuggedme.
.
Lul
u:wef
ri
endsaf
teral
l
..shar
p
Thenof
fshewasgone.
Al
ex:
shewasst
il
lsl
eepi
ng.
.
Me:
yeah.
.ummhwar
eoi
l
ekaeNdi
l
ene
mma?
(wher
edi
dBandi
l
ego?
)
Al
ex:
Idon'
tknow.
.
Me:
any
way
showwasschool
?
.
Bandileneverreal
l
ycamebackt hatday,
Itr
ied
call
ingbuthe'sphonewentst
raightto
voicemail
.Mom andI v
ycamet oseeduring
eveningvisi
thour.
Mom:
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Shesai
dfi
xi
ngmypi
l
low.
Me:
I'
mfi
ne
I
vy:
that
'sgood.
.di
dyoueat
?
Me:
yes,
Bandi
l
eboughtmef
ood
I
vy:
good.
.andsodi
dwe
Shesai
dpl
aci
ngt
hepl
ast
icbagbesi
desme.
.
Mom:
wet
alkedt
oyourdoct
or.
.-
Myat
tent
iont
ohergotcutbyat
extt
hatgoti
n.
I
twasBandi
l
e..
"Haderr
andstorunt
o..Sor
ryIcoul
dn'
tcome
back.
.l
oveyou"
Qui
ckl
yIr
epl
i
ed.
.
"
Arey
oucomi
ngt
oday
,now?
"
He'sresponsewassomet
hingIwasn'
t
expecti
ng.
"
Nah.
.hadt
ogoback"
Iputmyphonedownaf t
err
eadingthattext,
I
wasn'tmadorangry..
Iwasjusthur
t,
hurthe
wouldjustupandleaveasheseefittowithout
eventell
i
ngme,especial
l
yattimesli
kethis.
Mom:
arewebor
ingy
ou?
Mom askedbr
ingi
ngmebackt
oear
th.
.
Me:
no.
.nev
er
I
vy:
howi
sSi
mphi
we?
Me:
she'
sfi
ne.
.Ihel
dhert
oday
..
shewascr
ying
I
vy:
thatmusthav
ebeenni
ce
Me:
i
twas.
.
Mom: youactual
l
ydi dagoodt
hingbybr
ingi
ng
yourchil
dpreparat
ionwit
hyou
Me:
yeah.
.
TheySt ayedf orawhi leunt i
ltheywer egone,
wellIdidn'tmi ndbeingal one..Ineeded
space,spaceal one.Thatni ghtsl eepi
ngwas
reall
yhardf orme, Idon'tifitwast hefactthat
heleftorthepai n,
phy sicalpainIwasf eel
ing.I
waitedforhi scallorforhi ssur pri
sevisi
tli
kehe
alwaysdoesbutt heopposi tehappened.He
didn'
tshowupandi thurt.
.
Thabi
:
she'
spr
ett
y
Shesaidgivi
ngmyphoneback.Shehadcame
duringthemorni
ngvisi
ttogetherwi
thLesedi
.I
dontknowhowt heyknewbutt heyknew.Iwas
surpri
sedtoseethem here.
Lesedi
:Iwishshewasmi
ne.
.Iev
enf
eel
li
ke
gett
ingpregnantnow
Il
aughed.
.
Thabi
:metoo.
.onl
yifIcanhav
eababyascut
e
asyours
Me:
youguy
sthough
Lesedi
:
itst
rue,
howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Iwasreal
l
ygett
ingti
redoft
hatquest
ion
becauset
heanswerisal
waysthesame.
Me:
I'
mfi
ne
Thabi
:It
houghtIwasgoi
ngt
oseeBandi
l
e
her
e..
where'
she?
Me:
hadt
ogoback
Lesedi
:
goback?
Me:
yeah.
.hader
randst
orunt
o
Lesedi
:andsohel
efty
ou?
Me:
no.
.i
twas.
.i
mpor
tant
Lesedi
:i
mpor
tantmor
ethany
ou?
Thabi
:
Lesedi
.
.
Lesedi
:I'
mjustt
ryi
ngt
ounder
stand
Thabi
:
wher
e'sLeah?
Lesedi
lookedatherbutt
henkeptqui
te.
Me:shescomi
ngabitl
ater
,sai
dsomet
hing
aboutQcomingov
er
Thabi
:
wemi
ssy
ouguy
s
Me:
wemi
ssy
out
oo.
.
Thabi
:
weshoul
d-
"
Ladi
es!
"Hesai
dashegoti
nhol
dingf
lower
s.
Thabi
:
Bandi
l
e
Lesedi
:Iwasst
art
ingtowonderwhat
'
smore
i
mpor t
antt
hanourpreci
ousdi
amondher
e
Ndi
l
e:t
her
e'snot
hingmuchi
mpor
tantt
hanher
Lesedi
:thenwher
ewer
eyou?
Ndi
l
e:whendi
dwegetmar
ri
ed?
Lesedi
:you-
Ndi
l
e:hey
!phuma!
Thabimuff
ledherlaugh,
Lesedi
justcl
i
ckedher
toungebef
orewalkingout
.
Thabi
:
wewi
l
lseey
oul
ater
..
Shesai
dki
ssi
ngmycheekt
henshewal
kedout
Il
ookedatBandil
e,
Iwasn'tmad,justupset
aboutthewhol
ething.Justsendingatext
wouldn'
thavehur
thim eit
herway .
Ndi
l
e:Iboughty
ouf
lower
s
Me:
Idon'
tl
ikef
lower
s
Ndi
l
e:babeI
'
m sor
ry
Me:
youar
eal
way
ssor
ry
Ndi
l
e:Iknow.
.
Hewalkedupt
omeandputt
hef
lower
s
besi
desme.
Ndi
l
e:t
hebusi
nesswasl
oosi
ngamaj
ordeal
.
.I
hadt
odosomet
hing
Me:
atextwoul
dn'
thav
eki
l
ledy
ouBandi
l
e
Ndi
l
e:IknowandI
'
m sor
ry
Me:
I'
m notsur
pri
sed
Ndi
le:
okIt
hinkwear
etaki
ngi
tabi
ttoof
ar
now
Me:i
tsj
ustyounev
erseem t
oconsidermy
f
eeli
ngssometi
mesandithurt
s..
Idontwantt
o
f
ightwi
thyou
Ndi
l
e:t
hisi
snotf
ight
ing.
.Wej
ustt
alki
ng
Me:
wel
lIdontwantt
otal
kany
mor
e
Ndi
l
e:Kr
is.
.I
'
m sor
ry,
Ireal
l
yam
Heleanedov
erandbr
ushedhe'
sli
psonmi
ne
makingmeholdmybreat
h.
Ndi
l
e:I
'
m sor
rybabe
Het
henr
etr
act
ed.
.
Ndi
l
e:howar
eyou?
Me:
fi
ne
Ndi
l
e:ar
eyoust
il
li
npai
n?
Me:
whenIwal
k
Ndi
l
e:st
il
leat
ingl
i
qui
ds?
Me:
yeahandsof
tpor
ri
dge
Ndi
l
e:Ispoket
othedoct
or
Me:
ok
Ndi
l
e:youar
esupposedt
obedi
schar
ged
t
omorr
ow..
Me:
no.
.
Ndi
l
e:y
ouwi
l
lcomeandseeher
Me:
no.
.pl
ease
Ndi
l
e:Kr
isbabe.
.
Me:Ndi
leI
'
m beggi
ngyou.
.j
ustf
orthislastf
ew
day
s..
youknowI'
m goi
ngtoNether
landssoon
Ndi
l
e:buti
tsnotl
i
key
ouar
egoi
ngf
orev
er
Me:
youknowwhatI
'
m say
ing.
.
Ndi
l
e:ok.
.
Heleanedov erbutt
histi
mear oundhe' sli
ps
metmi ne,Iinhal
edhisscentthatint
oxicatedme.
Slowlyfeeli
ngmymout h.He'
skisswasj usta
I'
m-sorr
yki ndofkiss.Hepull
edoutaf terawhile
l
eav i
ngmebr eathl
ess.Justt
henmyphone
star
tedr i
nging,i
twasdad.Ner vousl
yIt ookit
andanswer edasItookinaheav ybreath.
Me:
Dad
Hi
m:Kr
ist
in
Me:
how.
.-
howar
eyou?
Hi
m:shoul
dn'
tIbeaski
ngy
ou?
Me:
I'
m wel
lyou?
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryIcoul
dn'
tbet
her
e..
Me:
i
tsok
Hi
m:noit
snot.
.y
ourmom t
oldmeabout
Net
her
lands
Me:
he'
sonl
ytr
yingt
ohel
p
Hi
m:eit
herwayy
ourmedi
cal
aidi
sgoi
ngt
opay
f
orit
..
Me:
ok
Him:Iwasthi
nki
ngmay beaf
teral
lthi
syou
shouldmovethi
sside.
.Wehavemor ethan
enoughspacefory
ouandmygr anddaughter
Me:
DadIdontt
hinkt
hat
sagoodi
dea
Him:i
tispl
usI
'v
eal
readyl
ookedi
ntoaf
ew
school
sand-
Me:
Idon'
twantt
omov
e
Hi
m:i
sitbecauseoft
hat
..
thug?
Me:Ijustwanttoli
vemyownl if
ewi t
hout
anyonejumpingin..IknowImadeami stakebut
l
etmel i
vemymi stake,l
etmelearnfrom it
..
Ijust
wantt obeKri
stinwi t
houtanyoneinfl
uencing
me..Iwanttomakemyowndeci si
ons,myown
mistakesandlearnf r
om them..
canIpleasedo
that
Hi
m:noonei
str
yingt
oinf
luencey
ouor
anyt
hing.
.It
sjustt
hatwel
ovey
out
oomuch
pri
ncess
Me:
thencanIpl
easel
i
vemyownl
i
fe
Him:
y ouwontmov einwithmebutyouarest
il
l
movingKr i
s,
thatoneI
'm notgoi
ngt
oarguewith
youont hat
Ikeptqui
te.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
llookf
oraccommodat
ion
Me:
whataboutLeah?
Him:she'
sgoingtohavetodeci
det
ocomewi
th
ornotbutthatgi
rlsweet
hear
t..
Me:
pleaseno
Hi
m:Iwon'
tsaymuchbutifshewantstomove
wi
thyouit
syourchoi
ceandifshedoesn'
ti
ts
st
il
li
sherchoi
ce
Me:
shesmyf
ri
end
Him:
Idontknowaboutt
hat.
.Ihear
dthat
your
..
boyf
ri
endbookedyouatNether
lands.I
t
alkedt
ohi
m and-
Me:
youdi
dwhat
?
Hi
m:Ihadt
otal
ktohi
m-
Idi
dn'twai
tforhi
mtofini
shhe'
ssent
enceIhad
al
readyhungup.Il
ookedatBandi
l
ewhowas
j
ustholdi
ngmyhand.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tknowy
ouanddadt
alk
Hi
m:wej
ustt
alkabouty
ou
Me:doeshet
hreat
eny
ou?
hecanbeabi
t.
.You
know
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:he'
ssupposedt
obel
i
ket
hat
..
wanti
ce
cr
eam?
Me:
youcamewi
thi
cecr
eam?
Hi
m:nahbuti
-
Me:
nopl
easest
ay.
.wi
thme
Imov
edabi
ttocr
eat
espacebesi
desme.
Me:
comesl
eepwi
thme.
.
Isai
dpat
ti
ngt
hespacebesi
desme.
Him:
youar
esi
ck,
youshoul
dn'
tbeshar
ingt
he
bed.
Me:
pleasecomesl
eepwi
thme
Hi
m:andt
hatbedi
stoosmal
l
Me:
Bandi
l
eyou-
Iwascutshor
tbyhi
sphoner
ingi
ng.
.
Hetooki
toutonl
ytohungupandputi
tbacki
n
hi
spocket
.
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hesaidgivingmeanassur ancesmil
ethatgot
myhear tmelti
ng.Heref
usedl yi
ngwit
hmei n
thebed,j
ustsatdownbesidesmewhi l
eplayi
ng
withmyf i
ngers.Hav
inghim aroundwit
hmef el
t
nice,
sometimesIwishedthismomentscould
j
ustlastfor
ever.Hespentthewholedaywith
mewhi
l
ewet
alkedaboutt
hef
utur
e.
Him:whati
fyouj
ustf
indy
our
sel
fmar
ri
edone
day?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
fi
ndmy
sel
fmar
ri
ed?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Il
aughedagai
n..
Me:whywouldIwannafindmy sel
fmar
ried?I
meanIwouldhavegivenmyconsenttothat.
.I
hopeyounotpl
anningtoproposearey
ou?
Hi
m:whati
fIam?
Me:
babewet
alkedaboutt
his
Him:
whyareyousoscar
edofmar
ri
ageori
sit
commit
ment?
Me:
youknowI '
m commit
tedt
ous..
Ilov
eyouso
muchIjustf
eell
ikewear
etooyoungfor
marr
iage
Hi
m:I
'
m not
Me:
canwejustwai
tti
l
latl
eastwhenI
'
m doi
ng
myl
astyear
?
Hi
m:t
hat
sin2y
ear
s
Ididn'
tl
ikewher ethi
swasgoingandthelast
thi
ngIwant edwast oupsethi
m orsethi
m off
.
Outofev er
yonehav i
nghim ar
oundmakesme
happy,
Ilovehav i
nghim wi
thmeandknowi ngat
sit
uati
onslikethishewouldwalkout
.Ihel
dhis
handsandbr oughtitt
omychest .
Me:Il
oveyou,somuchbabe..andI'
m notgoing
anywhere.
.I
'
m her
etostay..
wear eafamilyand
al
lI
'm aski
ngisonl
y2years.
.thatsal
l
Isatupri
ghtignor
ingt
hepain,
Itookital
li
nand
smiled,
Ididn'
twanttoshowhimt hepai
n..
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.
.pl
ease
Hi
m:whyar
eyouhur
ti
ngy
our
sel
f?
Hest
oodupt
hensl
owl
ylai
dmeback.
Hi
m:i
tsok.
.
Heki
ssedmyl
i
psy
etagai
n..
Him:
Iwantt
otakey
ousomewher
eaf
tery
our
neur
osur
ger
y
Me:
ohhwher
e?
Hi
m:i
tsasur
pri
se.
.
Me:
youknowIcant
ort
uret
het
rut
houtofy
ou
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:somuchconf
idence.
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Therehadbeent imeswher eIcouldpossibly
sayIdon'tcare,
dayswhenIj ustdidn'
tgi
vea
fuckaboutany t
hing,whereIneverall
owed
emotionsinanyr oom inmyl i
fe.Lovewasjust
overr
atedtome, Ididlovesomeofmyex' sbut
nottoapoi ntwheremywhol eli
fewouldjust
stopbecauseoft hem orwher eIcouldf
eel
suffocatedbecauseoft hem.Ev ery
thing
changedwhenImetKr is,
i
t'
slikeIhadbui l
ta
wallandi tdidn'tev entakeheral otofeffor
tto
breakt hosewal ls.Ilookedinherbi gbeautif
ul
eyesasshehel dmyhandt i
ghtlywithhersoft
smal lhands.Icoul deasil
yseet hefearinher
eyes,shewasscar edandsowasI .
.l
oosingher
woul dbet hedeat hofme.Wewer ein
Nether l
ands, atahospi talt
here.Wehadar ri
ved
2day sago.Icoul dn'tl
etherdel aythesurgery,
thetumorhadal readyspreadabi tandsoqui ck
acti
onhadt obet aken.Irememberl i
steni
ngto
herthel astdayshewasi nBot swanaasshe
tal
kedt oourpr i
ncess.
"EvenifIdon'
tmakei tknowmommywi ll
alwaysloveyouok? mommyl ovesy ouok..
you
arethebestthingthathaseverhappenedt o
me,Idon'tr
egretyou,ev
enifIhadt ogobacki n
ti
meIwoul dnotchangeasi nglething.
."
I
thurtl
ist
eni
ngt
othat
,itf
eltl
i
keshehadl
ostal
l
hope.
Ihel
dherhandt ooasshel ayint
hetheat
re
room awai
ti
nghersur ger
y.Accordi
ngtothe
doct
orifal
lgoeswel lwit
hintwoweeksshe
wouldbedischarged.
Me:
I'
m her
e,y
ouar
egoi
ngt
obeok
Sheshookherheadashert
ear
scascaded,
God
knowshert
earsaremyweakness.
Me:
dontcr
y
Isai
dwi
pingof
fhert
ear
s.
Her
:i
f.
.-
if
Me:nothi
ngisgoi
ngtohappenKr
is,
Kri
sti
n
Thulani
..
youar
esafe.
.Iwi
l
lbeher
ewaitingf
or
you
Her
:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
oveyoumor
ebabe.
.andnot
hingi
sgoi
ng
t
ohappentoy
ou
Shenodded.
.
It
ookoutmyphoneandpl
ayedt
hev
ideoshe
hadt
akenofPhi
wet
hedaywel
eft
.
Me:
reasonwhyy
oushoul
dmakei
t
Shesmi
l
edt
hroughhert
ear
s..
Itoowasgl adweact uallyhadSimphi we,I
wouldn'tmindhav ingmor ekidswithKristhe
onlyunnecessar yproblem wi l
lbeTay l
or.Hedid
throwinthreatswhenhef oundoutaboutt he
pregnancybutt hatdidn'tscareme, hebeli
eves
I'
m notgoodf orherdaught erbutthenitsKri
s's
choicetochoose.Icanal way sdeal wi
than
angryfatheri
nl aw.Herhai rwasbal dal
ready,
theyhadt ocutof fher.
.
Her
:Il
ookwei
rd,
l
ike.
.anal
i
en
Me:
youl
ook-
Her
:dontl
i
e,y
ouknowi
tst
rue
Me:
youl
ookl
i
keabeaut
if
ulal
i
en
Shebl
ushedl
ooki
ngaway
Her
:ar
eyouev
ergoi
ngt
oleav
emef
ormat
ure
women?
Me:
no.
.nev
er!
Her
:youknowt
hatI
'
m notmat
urer
ight
?
Me:
cany
oust
opt
his?
Her
:ok
Shekeptqui
te,
looki
ngatherf
inger
sasshe
pl
ayedwitht
hem.
Me:thisthingofalwaysbeingnegati
veabout
yourselfshouldcomet oanend,I
'm wit
hyou
becauseIl oveyou,i
fIwantedsomeoneel se
thenIwoul dn'
tbeher e.
.canyoust
opt hi
s?
Isai
dki
ssi
ngherf
orehead.
Me:bal
dornot..
Isti
l
l l
oveyou,
youar
estil
lthe
samegirlIf
ell
inlovewit
h..
don'
tyouthi
nkifI
wantedsomeoneelseIwouldhavedoneit
al
ready?
It
il
tedherheadsoshel
ooksatme.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou,
I
'm her
ewi
thy
oubecauseIl
ove
y
ouKr
ist
in.
.andIdon'
tthi
nkIwi
l
lev
erst
op
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her:
Il
oveyoutoo.
.Il
i
kethi
shospi
tal
.
.Itdoesn'
t
evenseem l
i
keahospit
al
Me:
that
showgoodi
tis.
.
Her
:wheni
sdadcomi
ng?
Me:
i
naf
ewmi
nut
es
Shesi
ghed.
.
Her
:mydad.
..
he'
summhabi
ttoomuch
Il
aughed,t
hewayshewasjustt
ryi
ngt
oexpl
ain
herownfatherwasf
unny
.
.
KRI
STI
N
.
Afewmi nut
eslaterdadarri
vedwit
hLizzybyhi
s
si
de.Shesti
lll
ookedt hesame.Bandi
leki
ssed
mycheekbeforewal ki
ngout.Mom coul
dn't
comewi thbecauseofPhi
webutSam was
goingtocomei nafewdays.AsforLeah,
she
di
dwantt ocomebutIf el
tli
keIwas
compr omisi
ngherli
fet
oomuchsoIhadt o
convincehertostay
.Il
ayont hebedl
ooki
ngat
mydadashehel dmyhand.
Hi
m:Ibr
oughty
ousomet
hing
Me:
what
?
Het ookouthishandsfrom hi
sbehindand
producedToot si
e,shewasmyf av
ourit
edoll
of
them allbutsheusedtomakemesneezeal ot.
Isti
llrememberwhenshegotl ost
,Idi
dn'
tsl
eep
forweeks.
Me:
Dad!
Hi
m:Toot
sie
Me:
Iwasst
il
l7
Hel
aughed
Hi
m:f
unnyhowt
imef
li
es
Me:
yeah.
.
It
ookher
..
Hi
m:andt
hewayy
ouwoul
dsneeze
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
wher
edi
dyougether
?
Him:t
hatsmysecret
..Iknewi
twoul
dmakey
ou
happytoseeher
Me:
thanky
ou,
Lizzy
!
Li
zzy
:myl
ove
Shesai
dhuggi
ngme.
.
Me:
GodImi
ssedy
ou
Li
zzy:
metoo.
.congr
atul
ati
onsonyourbabygi
rl
..
Can'
tbel
i
eveI'
m alr
eadyastepgr
andma
Me:f
orgetaboutbei
ngast
epGr
andma.
.y
ouar
e
j
ustherGrandma
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Hav
ingt
hem ar
oundhel
pedabi
t,
iteased.
.
Theywheel edmei nthisotherr oom, f
orthef i
rst
ti
meev erIf
elt.
.theunusual feelingthatIhad
suppr essedforawhi l
e, i
twasn' tthefeelingof
beingscar ed..Itwast hatfeeli
ngofmay beI
deserv edwhatwashappeni ng.Iki l
ledsomeone,
myconsci ouswasnev eratpeacebecauseof
that.Nomat terhowmuchImayt rytojustif
yit
butIki l
ledhimi ncoldbl oodandev ent houghi t
hurtbutIdeser vedit
.Thegui l
tyhadki ll
edme
alr
eady .Itookadeepbr eathasIcl osedmy
eyes,Ihopet heyknowhowmuchIl ove
them. ..
him..
ourdaught er,
ourpr eciousst one.
.
LEAH
.
Isati
nKris'
sroom,si
lent
ly.Myhandswere
shaki
ng,Iwasscared.Hersurger
yhadst
arted
8hrsagoandtherehasn'
tbeennophonecall.I
shoul
dhav egonewithher,
tosuppor
ther
..
.but
herwor
dscameback.
.
"I
tsnotli
keI'
m goingfor
ever
..Justf
orawhile.
WhileI'
m goneyoucouldspendmoret i
mewi th
Q,vi
sitafewplaces.
.Li
veyourownlif
e..Iwi
l
l be
back"
Ishoul
dn'thaveletherconvi
ncemeot herwise.
Ifel
tsi
ck,theconstantant
ici
pati
onwasdr ai
ning.
AsIsattheremyphonest ar
tedri
ngi
ng,itwas
anunknownnumberbutr egardl
essIanswered.
Me:
hel
l
o?
Call
erI
D:howmuchdoy
ouneedt
ost
ayaway
fr
om myson
Me:
excuse?
Her
:howmuchdoy
ouneedt
ost
ayawayf
rom
myson?
Me:
mam.
.-
Her
:Iknowy
ouar
eagol
ddi
ggi
ngpr
ost
it
ute.
.
Me:
Mam pl
easei
-
Her
:i
fyouknowwhat'
sgoodforyou,
stayaway!
Thi
swouldreal
l
yendver
ybadly,
stayawayfrom
myson..
Thenshehungup.It ookadeepbr eaththen
walkedt othebathroom maki ngsurenobody
woul dspotme. .
Ifi
lledthebathtubwithwater,
thent ookoffmycl othesandjustsatthere
easingmybody .Iclosedmyey esfinal
ly,If
elt
muchbet t
erthisway .Iwasn'
tgoingtoletwhat
theput bulmotherinlawbullyme.Ql ovesme
andi fshecan'tdeal wit
hitt
henbi t
chmi ghtas
welltakesev er
alseat s!
Icouldhearmynamebei ngcal l
edoutbutmyI
j
ustcouldn'tseem tomov e.Itwentf orawhi l
e
until
Ifeltaroughpushthatmademyf ace
comei ncontactwithwatermaki ngmeopenmy
eyes.ItwasSam, hethr
ewt het owel hewas
holdi
ngatmet henwalkedout .God! Fuck!Ihad
fal
lenasleepinthebathtub.QuicklyIst ood
up,myski nevenhadwr i
nkles.Idrainedt he
waterthenwal kedoutwithawett owel
wrappedaroundmybody .Getti
ngi ntheroom I
changedint
omypj 'sthenwal kedtothesitti
ng
room.Itwasalreadylateatni ght
.
Embarrassmentbr ushedonmyf aceasmy
eyescameacr ossSam whowassi t
ti
ng
watchi
ngTv .Hemusthav esawme
naked.
.God!Ihatedtoev enthinkabouti t
..
Hesoonnot
icedmet henhe'
seyeslandedon
me,
buti
mmedi at
elyl
ookedatthetv
.
Him:myfamil
yhasenoughtodealwi
th,
we
cannotbedeal
ingwi
thdeadbodiest
oo
Hesai
dlooki
ngatt
het
v.
Me:
Ifel
lasl
eep
Him:i
nthebat
htub?Youwannaki
l
lyour
sel
f?I
f
sothegatei
sthere
Mymouthimmediatel
ywentdry,
thi
swasthe
f
ir
stti
meweev ert
alkedaboutsomethi
ngel
se
whi
chisnotKr
is.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:andwhyar
eyouapol
ogi
singt
ome?
Ikeptqui
te.
.
Hi
m:mom andAlexwenttoseeLet
ha.
.y
our
f
oodisi
nthemicrowave
Inodded.
.
Iwalkedtot heki t
chent hent ookmyf ood.I
di
dn'tgobackt othesittingno. .Ijustsatont he
ki
tchenst oolsandat ether e.Aft ereatingI
washedmypl atethenwal kedoutf rom t he
ki
tchenonl ytobumpi ntoSam maki ngme
l
oosebal ancesohehel dmef r
om behi ndsoI
dontfall
.Ilookedathi m onl ytogetl ostinhis
eyes,
Inev erreali
zedhewast hatgoodl ooki
ng
before,
hewassohotand. .
and. .Hemademe
standupst raightthenletgo. .Hemov edback..
Him:y
oudontwannadothat.
.Ipromisey
ou.
.y
ou
dontwannagot
here.
.Especi
allywit
hme
Hewalkedt
owardsmeandr ubbedmyl owerl
i
p
maki
ngmybr eat
hinghi
tch.
.Theairj
ustfel
t
thi
ckforme.
.If
eltt
oohotathisgaze,
heleaned
over,
Ihel
dmybreat
hasheclosedthegape
betweenus.
.Hewasjusti
nchesawayfrom me..
Hi
m:y
oudon'
twantt
odot
his.
.t
rustme
Hesaidopeni
ngthedoorbehi
ndmeandsof tl
y
hepushedmeasi deandwal
kedout.It
ooka
deepbreat
hgett
ingmymy sel
ftoget
her.
Fucki
t
Leah!
getagri
p!
Iwentov
ertothesinkandspri
nkledmyf
ace
wit
hwater.
.whatj
usthappened?
Idi
dn'
tunderst
andthe..
sex
ual
attr
acti
onorso
tosay
..
hisbody!Icl
osedmyeyes.
.Il
oveQ.
.yesI
do.
.
Isaidwalkingtomyroom..
Ijustf
eltsexual
aroused.IclosedmyeyesasIlayonthebed.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Isatdowni nthewaitingroom, tr
yingtokeep
positive.Itonlyhadbeen8hr s,onl
y8mor e
hoursl eft.
.Herey escamebacki nmymi nd,t
hey
wer efill
edwi thfearbutattheendwhatt hey
refl
ectedt hrewmeaback. .i
tseemedl ikeshe
hadal readygi venup.Itookmyphoneand
browsedt hroughmygal l
ery.Herpi ct
ur eswer e
alloverandsomecr azyvideosshehadmade.I
didn'tgetmuchi ntothem..Ihadt obe
strong,Tay l
orwassi tt
ingwi t
hhi swi f
eatt he
othercor ner.Af t
ersomemor efewhour sIsaw
thenur ser ushingsomewher e,quickl
yIst ood
up..
Me:
what
'
sgoi
ngon?
Her:
Sircanyoupl
easeletmedomywor
k..
you
wil
lbegivenaful
lup-
Me:cany
out
ell
mewhat
'
sgoi
ngonwi
thmy
wi
fe?
Her
:Si
rpl
ease.
.
Shesai
dwal
ki
ngaway
,whatonear
thwas
t
aki
ngt
hem t
hisl
ong!
Istoodther
eallf
rust
rat
ed.Afteraf
ewmor e
hoursthedoct
orcamebuti twasn'
t16hr
s
yet
..t
hesurger
yis16hrlong.Ist
oodupyet
againandthi
stimearoundIwantedanswer
s.
Me:
Doct
or.
.
Tay
lorandEl
i
zabet
hwer
eal
readybehi
ndme.
.
Tay
lor
:what
'sgoi
ngon?
Dr
:she.
..
herhear
t.
.
Li
zzy
:what
'swr
ongwi
thi
t?
Dr
:i
tsf
ail
i
ngher
..
.shesl
i
ppedi
ntocoma
Tay
lor
:what
?
Dr:
thesurger
ywasdone,
dur
ingt
hesur
ger
yher
heartwasweakbut
..
-
Tay
lor
:isshegoi
ngt
obeok?
Dr:
wecan'ttell
..
thi
sisverycruci
al.
.Heartf
ail
ure
i
sn'
tjustsomet hi
ngthat.
..
thatcanbesolved.
.
Herhearti
sf ai
li
ngandthemachi nesarethe
onlythi
ngskeepingheral
i
veatthemomentbut
besidesthat
..
shesgoodasdead..
Tay
lor
:wasn'
tthi
ssupposedt
oaf
fect
..
.God!
Dr
:wewi
lldoourbestandal
soputheront
he
wai
ti
ngl
i
stofhearttr
anspl
ants
Li
zzy
:hear
ttr
anspl
ant
?
Dr:
yes.
.t
hemachines.
.Theywon'
tkeepher
goi
ngforther
estofherli
fe.
.
Li
zzy
:can'
tthi
sbef
ixed?
Dr
:unf
ort
unat
elyno.
.
Me:
Iwantt
obeherdonor
Idi
dn'tcar
eaboutanyt
hingelse..
aslongasshe
surv
ivesIwoul
dn'
tmind..Ican'
tfai
lher.
.Il
ove
hertoomuchforthat
..
Li
zzy
:met
oo.
.y
oucant
estusbot
h..
.
Her
:am Il
osi
ngmyonl
ysont
olov
e?
I
vyasked,
Ihadcal
l
edher
..
hadt
otel
lher
.
Me:
wehav
eachi
l
d..
whoneedshermot
her
Her
:Bandi
l
e..Whatdoy
ouwantmet
odo?
Me:
Idontknow.
.Butsheneedsme
Her
:Enhl
e?
Me:Iwi
l
lmakesur
eyouguy
swon'
tsur
ferany
how
Her
:kodwaBandi
l
e..
Shesai dbreaking,Iknewt hi
swasgoi ngtohurt
her.
.butIhadt opr i
orit
ize..AndKriscamef i
rst.
Shewast hefirstgi
rltogoagai nstalloddsjust
tobewi thme, sti
ckedwi thmet hroughitall
.No
matterhowmuchmymessedupl i
femessed
usup..shest i
l
l chosetol oveme.If eelmore
ali
vewi t
hherandsheev engavemeapr eci
ous
gif
t.
.ourdaught er.Shest heloveofmyl if
e..
I
couldn'
twat chherdi e.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou.Thedoct
ori
scomi
ng
Her
:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
ThenIhungupast hedoctorapproachedus.
Shehadt akenusthroughthet hewhole
processandtest
sy ester
day .EvenTayl
ort
ested.
Li
zzyhadbeenqui teeversincewegotherethis
mor ni
ng.
Thedoct
orcamet
owar
dsushol
dingsomef
il
es.
Dr
:ok.
.so.
.I
'
mjustgoi
ngt
ogost
rai
ghtt
opoi
nt.
.
Li
zzyi
samat ch
Shegasped.
Li
zzy
:Iam?
Dr
:yes.
.
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Li
zzy
:ohGod.
.Iam
Tay
lor
:doct
orar
eyousur
e?
Dr
:100%
Li
zzy
:ohThankGod.
.
Sheseemedhappyanddel
i
ght
ed.
.
Dr:
Iwil
lhav
etoex
plai
nthewhol
epr
ocesst
o
youagai
nMam
Shenodded.
.
Li
zzy
:soKr
iswi
l
lbeok?
Dr
:wewi
l
lsee.
.
.
Tay
lorl
eftaf
terawhi
l
e,hadaf
ewcal
l
stomake.
.
Isatwi
thLi
zzydown.
Me:
Iwashopi
ngIwasherdonor
Her
:shewoul
dhaveki
ll
edher
sel
fissheev
er
f
oundoutsheki
l
ledyou
Me:
shecanbecr
azysomet
imes
Shel
aughed.
.
Her:
youmustreal
lyl
oveher
..
youwer
ewi
l
li
ngt
o
endyourl
i
feforher
Me:
may
beal
i
ttl
etoomuch
Her
:al
i
ttl
e?
Me:
okal
ot
Shechuckl
ed.
.
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
can'
tbel
i
evesheusedt
ohat
eme
Her
:ev
eryl
ovest
oryhasamy
ster
ybehi
nd
Me:
whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?
Her:
becausei thinkIwillbeatamuchbet ter
pl
ace. .
li
feisn'
tf ormebutIknowsomeonewho
sti
l
lhasal ongwayt orun..
sheneedst hehear t
moret hanIdo. .outofeverythi
ng..Iwi
llsayI
don'tregreti
tbecauseIdon' t .
.pl
usli
key ou..
I
al
sol oveher .
.shegav emeaf eeli
ngofbeinga
mom. .shegav emeachancet obehermot her.
.
Me:
Iguessshe'
slov
abl
e
Her
:yes.
.pl
easet
akecar
eofher
..
shesspeci
al
Isatbesi
desheri
nsi
l
ent
,Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
o
say.
.
Her
:cany
oudosomet
hingf
orme?
Il
ookedather,
ofcauseIwoul
d..Af
tersomuch
shesdone.
.Iwoul
d.

*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t57
LEAH
.
.
Workingupt hefollowingday ,
Itri
edbyal l
meanst oblockmymi ndinyesterday's
event
s,notthatIslepteitherway .
.Ikepttossi
ng
andturning.Icouldn'
tbelieveIhadbeent hat
weak,Ifel
tguilt
yforit.Isatuprighttaki
ngmy
phone.IthencalledQ. .
Heanswer
edaf
terawhi
l
e..
Hi
m:y
eah?
Me:
ummhhey
Hi
m:Leahi
ts5!
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.di
dIwakey
ouup?
Hi
m:whatdoy
out
hink?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Me:
mhhm
Hi
m:y
ouwannacomet
hissi
de?
Me:Idon'
twantt
oseem.
.Idontknow.
.
somehow
Him:st
opfucki
ngwit
hme..
Kri
sisn'
tther
e..You
havenoreasontost
ayt
her
e
Me:
Iknow.
.But
-
Hi
m:butnothing.
.Pl
easedontl
etmedr
agy
ou
f
rom t
here,
plusImissyou
Me:
memor
e..
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lbooky
oorf
li
ghtt
icket
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:ohhand-
Justt
hent
her
ewasaknockont
hedoor
..
Me:
ummhIshoul
dgetgoi
ng.
.ItmustbeKr
is'
s
mom
Hi
m:ok.
.Iwi
l
lcal
l
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Hethenhungup,Istoodupandwalkedtot
he
doorandopenedit.I
twasSam surpr
isi
ngl
y.I
tookadeepbreathgett
ingmysel
ftoget
her
.
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:Kr
ishadahear
tfai
l
ure
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Heseemedverydi
stur
bed..Mywholemoodj
ust
wentt
othenegati
ves.
.bel
owzero.
Me:
whathappened?
Hi
m:i
tsal
ongst
ory
,j
ustt
houghti
'
dlety
ouknow
Me:
i
sshegoi
ngt
obeok?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.Li
zzyi
sgoi
ngt
o..
beherdonor
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Iwasshocked,
ImeanLi
zzyi
sonl
yast
epmom.
.
Istaggeredbacktothebedandsatdown.Heart
fai
lure.
.Thewor dranginmymi nd.Idi
dn'
t
reali
zeIwasalreadybreathi
nghardunti
lSam
wasbesi desme.Itallwastoomuch.
Hi
m:hey
..
youok
Inoddedtr
yingtocalm mysel
fdownbutt he
asthmahadalreadycaughtup.Iwasrunning
outofai
randIwasbr eathi
ngheavil
y.Icould
seehewaspani cki
ng.
Hi
m:y
ouast
hmat
ic?
Inoddedast earsmadetheirwayout,
the
experi
enceisjustpai
nful
.Itfeel
sli
keyouar
e
dyi
ng, l
i
keyouar esuf
focati
ng.Mychesthad
ti
ghtened.
Hest oodupandhur r
iedtothecl oset,
tookout
myhandbagandempt i
edeverythingont he
fl
oor .ThankGodhef oundmyspr ay
..
hegav eit
tomei mmedi atel
y.AfterawhileIwasmuch
better,beingasthmat i
cisreal
lynotani celi
fe
problem.Hewasj ustsit
ti
ngbesi desme, shock
waswr it
tenalloverhisface.
Me:
I'
mfi
nenowt
hanky
ou
If
inal
l
ymanagedt
osay
.
Hi
m:doest
hathappenof
ten?
Me:
no,
notr
eal
l
y
Hi
m:I
'
mreal
l
ytr
aumat
ized
Ichuckl
ed,
Iwasn'
texpect
inghi
mtosayt
hat
..
Me:
I'
m sor
ryy
ouhadt
oseet
hat
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
adIhel
ped.
.I'
m pr
oudofmy
sel
f
Me:
yes,
thanky
ou.
.Li
zzyi
sreal
l
yaGodsent
Hi
m:I
'
mfl
yi
ngt
oNet
her
lands,
Ial
sowantt
otest
..
Me:
when?
Hi
m:t
oni
ght
..IhopeIwon'
tbet
ool
ate
Me:
yout
hinkt
her
e'sar
easonshesdoi
ngt
his?
Him:t
hisi
ssuici
dei
nthebestway
..
Idontt
hink
sheshappy.
.
Me:
yout
hink?
Hi
m:Iknowso.
.ar
eyougoi
ngt
obeok?
Me:
Iwantt
oseeher
Hel
ookedatme.
.
Him:
Idontthi
nkthat
sagreati
dea.
.Kr
isbegged
menottoletyoucome.
.Shesaidy
oushouldgo
outmore.
.
Me:
butsheneedsme
Hi
m:It
hinksheneedsy
out
obest
rongf
orher
Me:
Ifeel
usel
ess
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcal
lyou.
.
Inodded,
Icoul
dn'
tunder
standwhyt
heywon'
t
l
etmeseeher .
.
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eyouar
egoi
ngt
obef
ine?
Me:
Ithi
nkImi
ghtgobackt
oschool
Hel
ookedatme.
.
Hi
m:ok,
wel
lsaf
ejour
ney
Hest
oodup.
.
Him:t
her
e'sf
oodi
nt heki
tchen,
I'
m goi
ngt
o
packsomefewcl
othesatmyhouse
Inoddedst
andi
ngup.
.
Hi
m:She'
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.shehast
obe
Hecamet
owar
dsmeandhuggedmebr
ief
ly,
ni
ggasmel
tgoodnol
i
e.Ibur
iedmyheadonhi
s
chest
.
Hi
m:don'
twor
ryy
our
sel
f,she'
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine
Hesai
dpull
i
ngaway
,Iwant
edt
ohol
dhi
m al
i
l
bi
tmore.
Hi
m:seey
ouar
ound
Andoffhewasgone.Isatdownont hebed.I
cl
osedmyeyesthi
nkingaboutKri
s.Icoul
dn't
l
oseher,
nott
odeath.Icouldseehersmil
ein
myhead.Herev
eronsmi le.Shehastomakei t
..
.
BANDI
LE
.
Her:
youwi l
lhavetogiv
ethosel
ett
erst
oher
.
Thatone..
giveitt
oherwhenshewakesupand
theotherone..Onherweddi
ngday
Me:
ok.
.
Her
:andt
hisonet
oSam.
.pl
easedon'
tl
etTay
lor
f
indout
Inoddedt
aki
ngt
hel
ett
ersf
rom herhand.
Me:
doy
ou.
.hav
efami
l
y?
Her
:no.
.Tay
lorhasbeenmyonl
yfami
l
y
Me:
whyar
eyour
eal
l
ydoi
ngt
his?
Her:becauseI '
mt i
red..
I'
mr eal
lyti
red..
Ijust
wannabef ree,
atleastthesorrowIcar r
yi nmy
heartwillnolongerholdmedown. .I
mr eally
ti
red,Itri
edsohar dt okeepholdingon..butI
j
ustcan' tanymore..ThedayIst opbreat hi
ng,
thedayIst opwi t
ht hefakesmi l
es,f
ake
l
aught er.
.ThedayIj ustvanishinthefaceof
earth.
.Ipromiseyout hatsthedayIwi l
lsmi l
e
from withi
n..
Me:
soy
ouar
eusi
ngt
hisasanescapepl
an?
Her:y
es..i
tsoundssel f
ishIknow..Butyouwill
understand.Somet i
mes..Holdi
ngoni snotthe
opti
on..I'
m goingtoletgo..
it
sforthebest.
.best
foreveryone.Pleasetakecareofher,
sheli
kes
bott
li
ngthingstoomuch..
bether
eforher
..You
guyshavebeent hr
oughalot
,youdeser
vey our
happi
lyeveraft
er..
take
Shehandedanot
herpi
eceofpaper
..
Her:
howIwantmyf uner
altobehel
dli
ket
his,
gi
veitt
oTayl
or.
.andalsotake
Shegav
emehercarkey
s..
Her:
underthedr
iver
sseat
,ther
e'sapi
eceof
papert
here.Pl
easetakei
tandreadthr
oughit.
.i
t
hassomenumberIwanty outobreakthenews
to
Me:
thi
sfeel
sli
kesui
cide
Her
:dontseei
tli
kethat
,seei
tli
ket
hisi
ssav
ing
t
heloveofyourl
if
e..
Theoperati
onwasgoingtot akeplacei
ncouple
ofminut
es.Itwasscheduledin10hrsbutLi
zzy
wantedi
ttogetoveranddonewi t
h.She
seemedhappywithherdecision.Momentslat
er
Tayl
orwalked,
hesti
ll
couldn'tbeli
evewhatwas
happeni
ng.
.Ital
lwashappeni
ngt
oof
ast
.
Tay
lor
:Il
ovey
ou
Hewhisperedashewal
kedt
owar
dsher
,he
l
ookedbroken.
Her
:met
oo.
.y
ourdaught
eri
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine
Tayl
or:y
ouknowaheartcanbef
ound.
.y
ou
don'
thavet
odothi
s..
isi
tme?
Her
:no.
.Iwanttobet
heonetodothi
s..
Iwantt
o
beherdonorandno.
.i
t'
snoty
ou,
it
sme
Forthefir
stt
ime,
Isawhim dr
ophi
stears.
Tayl
orisnotthet
ypetocry
,he'
sawell
feared
dangerousman.Hekneel
edbefor
eher.
.
Iwalkedout,notwanti
ngtoseemor e.They
werealreadyprepar
ingKrisf
oryetanother
sur
ger y
.Ihopeshesur vi
ves,
shehasto..
Eventhoughal
lthi
shur tbutIwasgladLizzy
wasdoingthi
s.Yester
daysl eepi
ngwasjust
hard,
al
lIwasthi
nkingaboutwast hi
sday.I
remembermypl antotakehert oPari
s,
she
woul
dhavel
ovedthat
..
Ijustwanttoshowher
howmuchIl
oveher.Afewmi nutesl
aterLi
zzy
wasbei
ngwheel
edaway ..
Her
:pl
easet
akecar
eofher
..
shesaspeci
alsoul
Me:
wil
ldo.
.
Il
eanedov
erandgav
eherahug.
.
Me:
youar
eanAngel
..
Shesof
tl
yLaughed.
.
Her
:no.
.I
'
m abadper
son.
.Good-
by
Andof fshewasgone.Il ookedbackatTay l
or
whohadr edey es,hel
ooked..Hurtorsot osay.I
di
dn'tknowwhatt osaysoIjustsatdown.Thi s
wasr eallyhar dforhim,Icoul
dt el
l.Thiswas
breakinghi m.Thatdaywasn' tthekindofdayI
couldjustf or
getbecausel i
kethatshewas
gone,liket hat,
itwastheendofher .Nomor e
Eli
zabet hMacv erdanaanymor e.I
tal lf
eltli
kea
dream, abl urr
eddr eam.Shehadsi gnedherown
death..shehadchosent osetherselffree.I
hopedshewasatpeace.I twasa8hrsurger
y.
Forthefi
rstti
meev erIf
oundmyselfwanti
ngto
praybutIdidn'
tev
enknowwher etostar
t.
Thedoct
orf
inal
l
ycameout
..
Dr
:t
het
ranspl
antwasasuccess.
.
Thatwasmusi
ctomyear
s..
Tay
lor
:Li
zzy
?
Hel
ookeddown.Shewasgone.
.
Me:
i
sKr
isgoi
ngt
obef
ine?
Dr:
herbodyisreact
ingwel
l.
.butwewon'tknow
now..
wejustneedtowaitunti
lshewakesup..
Me:
ok.
.
Tayl
ordidn'
tsayanythi
ngmore,
Ijustcoul
dn'
t
evenwanttoimaginehispai
norwhathemust
begoingthr
ough.
.
Thenot
einhercar
,wasanote..
wit
hsome
number
..Onl
yonenumber.Ithi
nkIhadt
otel
l
them.Idi
dn'
tknowhowIwasgoi ngtobr
eak
thenewstothem butIhadto.Isati
nmycar
anddial
edthefnumber.Thephonerangfora
whil
ethengotanswered.
Me:
hel
l
o
Therewassi
lenceforawhi
l
ethent
hev
oice
spoke,
afemalevoi
ce.
Her
:hel
l
o?
Me:
Ist
hisEl
sa?
Her
:howcanIhel
pyou?
Me:
doy
ouknowEl
i
zabet
hMacv
erdana?
Her
:yeah.
.shesmysi
ster
..Whathappened
Me:
I'
m af
rai
dmam butshe'
snomor
e
Ther
ewassi
l
enceagai
n..
Her
:what
?
Me:
shepassedont
hismor
ning.
.
Her
:ohhno.
.
Ittookherwhil
etogeti
ttoget
herbecauseshe
wascr yi
ng.It
oldhert
henameoft hehospi
tal
Lizzywasat..
IgaveTaylorthepi eceofpaperLizzyhadgiven
me.Het ookitsilentl
yandwal kedaway .Ionthe
otherhandIstickedar ound.Iwantedtosee
Kris,
Ihadtoseeher .
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Isatamongstt hecr owd,al otofpeopl ewer e
there.St udentsfrom v arsit
y ,l
ect urersand
businessassoci ates.ItwasLi zzy '
sf uneral.
Manypeopl efoundi thardt obel iev e..Thatshe
hadgi venupherhear tjustliket hat.Theyf ound
whatshedi dbrave,shewast heher o.I twas2
weeksl ater,
aft
erLi zzypassedonandKr ishad
ahear tt ranspl
ant.Kr i
s'scondi tionwasmuch
better,herbodywasr eact i
ngwel ltot henew
organ.Shewasst illi
nI CUbuthercondi t
ion
wasl ooki ngup.Lizzy '
ssi stershowedt henext
dayaf terIt ol
dherabouthersi sterpassi ng.It
seemedl ikeLi zzywasn' tkeepi ngcont actwi t
h
herf ami l
y,shehadl ongi solatedher selfwhen
shewentt ov arsit
y.Iknewt herewasast ory
behi ndthatbutInev erreall
yaskedi twasn' tmy
place.Ther estoft hef ami l
yshowedupday s
l
at er.Sam ar rivedthef oll
owi ngdayaf terthe
sur gery,
heexpect edt ofindLi zzystil
laliveandI
coul dseef rom hi sey esthathewashur t
..
but
why ?becausehewasf uckingher ?Hehad
want edtost opherbutcameabi ttoolate.I
gav ehi mt hel ett
erLizzyl eftwithme.Ev eryone
thathadcomeseemedhur t,somewer eev en
crying.Herdeat hcameasshockt omostof
all
,theyhadt alkslike"j
usty esterdayIwaswi t
h
her .
."
Herdeathaf f
ectedalotofpeopleandIwas
evenmor escaredonhowKr iswasgoingto
takethi
s.IlookedatElsawhowasatt he
podium givi
ngherspeech,
everyoneseemedto
belist
ening.
"
Shewasoneoft
hosepeopl
ewhocoul
djust
blendwel lwithpeopl e..Istillremembert he
ti
mewemov ed..shedi dn'ttakel ongt oadaptt o
thenewenv ir
onmentandmakef ri
ends.
Eli
zabet hhadal way sbeent hesi sterIcoul d
alway sgot o..event houghwewer enott hat
muchcl osebutshewast heonl ycl osestper son
Ihav eev erhad.Shesentmeat extt heni ght
bef ore...Herdeat h..
sheaskedmei fIknewhow
muchshel ovedme. .Ididn' treply ,
wel lItold
my sel fIwast oobusy .Shet hensentmea
messageexpl ainingsomedeci sionsshet ookin
herl if
e,somedeci sionst hatIhat edherf or..
I
criedmy selftosl eept hatni ght ,
becausewel l
..
I
hadn' treal i
zedt hepai nshecar riedr andeeper
thanIt hought ..Shewassuf focat i
ngi nt his
wor ldandsheal sot oldme. .shedoesn' tregret
alloft hisbecauseherhear twi l
latpeace
knowi ngshemadeadi fferencei nsomeone' s
l
ife..shet ol
dmenott ocr y,butal sosai dt hat
ever ythingisaboutt ochangebecause. ..
.
BecauseImi ghtnotl ikewhatIwi l
l hearbutI
shouldn'
tcry.
.Ishoul
dnevercrybecauseshe
didtheri
ghtthing"shekeptquit
ewi pingoffher
tear
s,shelookedsomuchl ikeEl
izabet h,
she
l
ookedl i
keay oungerver
sionofElizabeth.
"Ireali
zedt hatIhadbeent oosel f
ishal lthis
whi l
e,Ithrustmywhol eener gyonbei ngangr y
ather ,
itwaswor sewhenshegotmar ried..I
hatedhermor ebutt heev ent houghIhat edher
shewast heonl ycl oset hingIhav eeverhad, she
wasmysuppor temot ional andfinancially.
.
She...
shewasanAngel .
.AndLi zzyify ou
hear i
ngme. .Iwantt ol ety ouknowt hat ..
Ilove
you,Ihav eal way slov edy ouandt hank
you..t
hanky ousomuchf orbei ngElizabet h,
thanky ousomuchf orbei ngmysi ster..t
hank
youf orhav ingahear tl i
ket hat .
.mayy ouf i
nd
piecewher ev ery ouar egoi ng.Itsnotgoi ngt o
bet hesamef rom her eonbutIpr omiseI 'm
goingt omakey oupr oud. "Shesai dget ti
ngof f
thepodi um, herspeecht ouchedpeopl e.The
mot herwasal sot herebutsheseemedt obe
toomuchemot ionaltospeak.I tseemedl i
ke
Lizzyhad2si bl
ings,theot heronewasmal ebut
hedi dn'
tspeak, From thereTay lorspoke, hehad
togiv eaunitedupf ront,hedidn' tbr eak..Plus
themedi awast here.From him speecheswent
onandon. .from thepeopl eshewascl osewith.
Kris'
smot herwasal soher e,toget herwi thSam.
Leahwaswi thAl exbacki nBot swanaandKr is'
s
mom askedI vyt okeepaney eont hem whi le
she'shereint hemeant ime.Il eftabi tearl
ysoI
checkuponKr i
s.Get ti
nginherr oom shewas
stil
lconnectedt othemachi nes, shel ookedso
palelikeshewasdead.It rail
edmyhandonher
face,shehadt owakeupnow.Ist ickedar ound
forawhi l
e,notwant ingtol eaveher .Ihadn' t
givenupandIwasn' taboutt ogi v eup.Shehad
towakeup. .
.
SAM
.
Aftert
hefuneralIdrovebackt othehotel
,Ijust
neededtobeal one.Itooktheglassofwhisky
thatwasont hedressingtableandgaupedit
down.Final
lyItookt hecouragetotakethe
l
ettershehadwr it
ten.Bandil
emi ghthavegiven
met hi
slett
er2weeksagobutInev erhadthe
couragetoreadthroughit.
"
DearSamuel
Iknowwhaty ouar ethi nking, t hatmay bei ts
Tay l
or.Itsnothi m ory ouf ort hatmat ter.Itsall
me, quitefrankl yIcoul dn'tt akei tany mor e.Ihad
mor ebaggagewi thmet hany out hought .Ihad
crushedal ongt i
meago, bef orey ouorTay lorso
pleasedontbl amey our sel forany oneel sef or
thatmat t
er.Pl easedontst opy ourlifefor
this,
mov eonl ikey ouhav eal r
eadydoneand
changey ourlifef orthebet t er.Ihav eour
moment stoget hercher isheddeepdowni nme, I
canal sosayt hatwasal soahi ghl i
ghtofmy35
yearsi nthiswor l
d.Pl easedontBl ameTay l
or,i
t
wasn' thim. .
Iwasj ustnev ert hei t
,Iwas
damagedgoodsf rom t hestartandI '
m suremy
ownf at
hercanagr eet ot hat.Igaveuponmy
l
ifebecauseIj ustcannotdeal wit
hi t
.My
decisionisduet oal otofr easonsbutdef inatel
y
youar enotpartofi t.Youmi ghtthi
nkt hatIwas
selfi
sht ohavedonet his..
butitwasal lworth
i
t,bel
ieveme. .
andbel i
ev emei fItellyou
why ,
y ouwouldn'tBlamemebutI '
m notgoingt o
burdeny oumor ewi tht heunnecessar y.Live
yourlifetothefull
est ,don'tl
etany thi
ngder ai
l
you..XoXo"
Iplaceditbesidesme, howdoessheexpectme
tomov eonf rom thi
s,howam Isupposedto
mov eonf r
om t hi
s..
howam Isupposedto
breath?
Justt
henmyphoner
ang,
i
twasTi
na.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
,howi
sitgoi
ng?
Me:
wor
set
hanIt
hought
Her
:I
'm sor
ry.
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:ar
ewest
il
lmov
ing?
Me:
assoonasKr
iswakesup
Her
:ok.
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Thenshehungup.Il
ayonmybed,
hur
t.Shedi
d
savemysist
erbuti
thur
t.Iwi
l
lnev
erf
orgett
his.
.
Iwokeupt hefoll
owingdaywithabangi ng
headache,y
ester
dayIhaddrankmy selftosleep.
Iexpectedtheheadachewhatsoever.Iwent
andtookacol dshower.Af
terbathi
ngbef oreI
coulddressuptherewasaknockonmydoor .I
wentov ert
othedoorandopenedi t.Myhear t
ski
ppedasmyey escameacr ossTay l
orwho
wasst andi
ngbeforemewi t
hr edeyesholdinga
bott
leofalcoholi
nhishand.
Hi
m:canIcomei
n?
Hesai
dafterawhil
e.Imov
edawayf
rom t
he
doort
henhegotin.
Icl
osedt
hedoorbehi
ndhi
m.
Hi
m:sohowdi
ditf
eel
sleepi
ngwi
thmywi
fe?
Thatwasaver
ytr
ickquest
ion,
Idi
dn'
tev
en
knowwhatt
osay.
.
Hi
m:af
tertaki
ngy
ouasmysony
ousl
eptwi
th
mywif
e..
Ididn'
tevenknowwhathewast alki
ngabout ,
mostofmyhi ghschoolli
feIwasataboar di
ng
schoolandonl ycamebackwhenKr i
swasf orm
1,
becauseshewashav i
ngahardtimeadjusti
ng.
Judgingfrom hisspeechIcoul
dtellhewas
drunk,
heev ensmelledli
keabrewerytoo.
Hi
m:wasi
tgood?
Hesai
dst
agger
ingar
ound.
.
Hi
m:Ibeti
twas.
.t
hatl
i
ttl
ewhor
e!Di
rt
ycunt
!di
rt
y
whor
ingsl
utt
ybi
tch!
Ilov
edher
..
Het
ri
ppedt
henf
ell
int
hegr
ound.
.
Him:
Ilov
edt hatdi
rt
y..
dir
tywhor
e..
Imadeher
andshe.
..
..
.
Andhewasqui te,Iguesshehadpassedout .I
shouldn'thav esleptwit hher,
ital
l startedwith
aninnocentsmi le.Ishouldhav enev erslept
withher .Idressedupt henputTay l
ori nt
obed
thoughhewasr eallyheavy.Af t
erput t
inghimt o
bed,ItookLi zzy'
snot e.
.putitmypockett hen
tookapi eceofpaperandscr ibbled" I'
m sorry"
onit.Thatwasal lIcoul dsay.Iwal kedout ,t
o
thecarIhadhi redsoIusewhenI '
m her e.I
drovest raightt
ot hehospi t
al.Ifoundmom
i
n,holdingherhand.Fr om hersni ffsIcoul dtel
l
shewascr yi
ng.
Si
l
ent
lyIwal
kedupt
oherandhuggedher
.
Me:
she'
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine
Mom:
mhhhm
Sher
ubbedhert
ear
sawayandsmi
l
edl
ooki
ng
atme.
Mom:
howdi
dyousl
eep?
youl
eftear
ly
Me:
Isl
eptok.
.wannagobr
eakf
ast
?
Mom:
no.
.Iwi
l
lst
ayher
e,Idontmi
nd
Me:
Mama
Mom:
Iat
e..
I'
m ok
Isi
ghedt
hensatbesi
desheri
ntot
alsi
l
ence.
Wesatt her
ethewhol emor ni
ng,j
ustwatchi
ng
her.Shehadj ustbeenthroughalot,
Iwas
Hopi ngfrom t
hisshewi l
lj
usthavepeace.We
l
aterwentwhent hedoctorwascheckingher.
Accor di
ngtothem therewasi mprov
ementev en
thoughshewasst i
llunconsci
ous.It
ookmom
forlunch,shedidn'
teatmuchandshewasj ust
tooqui t
e.
Mom:
Ithi
nkmay
beIwasabi
ttoohar
donher
..
Me:
Mapl
ease
Mom:Kri
sandIwerenev
erreall
ycl
osetobegi
n
wi
thbutthemoreIt
ri
edtoshiel
dhert
hemor e
wedri
ft
edapart
.
Me:Ithinkitsonl
ynormalf
oraparenttodo
t
hat.
.plusy ouknowthatKr
isi
sjustl
ikethat
wi
thev eryone
Mom:Idontwantt
oleav
eherbutshel
efther
chi
l
dinmyhands
Me:youcango.
.I
'
m st
il
lher
e,ev
enhert
att
ooed
boy
fri
end
Shel
aughed.
Mom:
ok.
.may
behe'
sagoodboy
Il
aughedoutl
oud.
.
Me:
heneedst
oheart
his
Mom:he'st
heonl
yonewhomakesherhappy
mor
et hanany
one
Me:
yeah.
.shel
oveshi
m andsodoeshe
Mom:
yes,
whenshewakesupIwi
l
lgi
vet
hem
mybl
essi
ng
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
goodmov
e
Mom:Tayl
ori
sreall
ybroken.
.Wor
dscan'
tev
en
st
artt
othankEl
izabet
h..
Me:
shesr
eal
l
yanAngel
..
Tay
lorwi
l
lbef
inewi
th
t
ime
Mom:
yesbutl
osi
ngy
ourspousei
sjust
..
-
Me:
IknowbutI
'
m sur
eGodhasar
easonwhy
Shesmil
ed,
event
houghImightbeasinnerbutI
dobel
iev
eGodalwayshav
ear eason.
.
Getti
ngbackatthehot el l
atert
hatdayTaylor
wasn'tinanymor
e.Isatdownont hebedtryi
ng
tocallTinawhodidn'tanswerherphone.Iput
myphoneasi dethegotont hebed.Mom was
goingtogobackt omor r
owi nt
hemor ni
ng.Just
thenmyphonest artedringing,
itwasTina.
Me:
babe
Her
:hey
,sor
ryaboutt
hat
..
.hadahect
icday
Me:
whatwassohect
icabouti
t?
Her:
wel
lwesawt heladywhoki
l
ledmy
dad.
.mom di
dn'
treactwel
l
Me:
fuck!
didy
ouguy
shur
ther
?
Her
:shegoti
nhercarandspedof
f
Me:cany
oupl
easest
ayawayf
rom t
hatLady
Ti
na
Her
:why
?
Me:
shesmysi
ster
'smot
heri
nlaw
Ther
ewassi
l
encef
orawhi
l
e..
Her
:what
?
Me:
yeah
Her
:ummhIshoul
dgetgoi
ng
Me:
Tina!
Her
:Iwi
l
ltal
ktoy
oui
nthemor
ning
Me:
what
ever
Ihungup,
Iwasn'
tgoi
ngt
obegher
.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Enhl
e:y
eah.
.she'
sreal
l
ypr
ett
y
Me:
yeah.
..
whendi
dyouar
ri
vet
her
e?
Enhl
e:y
est
erday
..Iwi
shshewasmi
ne
Me:
don'
tst
eal
mychi
l
dpl
ease
Shel
aughed.
.
Enhl
e:Iwil
lthi
nkabouti
t.
.Youwon'
tbel
i
eve
whathappenedtoday
Me:
what
?
Enhl
e:wesawAuntRebeccawi
thherdaught
er
Me:
what
?
Enhl
e:yesandshewant
edtobeatus..
shekept
onscreami
ngthatweki
ll
edherhusband
Ikeptqui
te,
try
ingt
oputmyangeri
ncont
rol
.
.
Me:
didshehur
-
ThenIheardmom'svoi
ceinthebackgr
ound.I
t
didn'
tseem l
i
keshewashappywithEnhl
e
tell
i
ngme.Shemighthavesnat
chedthephone
from her
.
I
vy:
i
twasj
ustnor
mal
thatsher
eact
sli
ket
hat
Me:
nor
mal
?shet
ri
edt
oat
tacky
ou!
I
vy:
becauseshedi
dloseherhusbandi
nthe
wor
stmanner
Me:
I'
m nothappyaboutt
his.
.
I
vy:
Bandi
l
epl
easedontdoany
thi
ngst
upi
d
Me:
howar
eyou?
I
vy:I'
mfine,
andsoisyourdaught
er.
.It
hinkt
hey
mightdi
schargehersoonenough
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
that
'sgr
eat
..
I
vy:
shel
ovescr
yingal
ot
Me:
remi
ndsmeofsomeoneIknow.
.Li
ke
mot
herl
ikedaught
er
I
vy:
how'
sshe?
Me:
sti
l
lhol
dingon
I
vy:
best
rong
Me:
yeah.
.
I
vy:
whenar
ey ougoi
ngtopaylobol
a?Youknow
y
ounotmarri
edunti
lLobol
ahasbeenpai
d..
Me:
Iwi
l
l.
.assoonasIt
ell
her
I
vy:
shewasst
il
ltooy
oungf
ormar
ri
age
Me:Iknow..ButIj
ustdi
dn'
twantt
olosehert
o
bet
terpeopleoutt
here
I
vy:
ok.
.butI
'
m nothappywi
thwhaty
oudi
d..
Me:
Iknow
I
vy:
l
etmegetgoi
ng.
.ummhther
e'ssomeone
whowant
stotal
kwi
thyou.
.
Me:
ok.
.
Iwai
tedabi
tunt
ilIhadAl
ex'
svoi
ce.
.
Her
:hey
Me:
Kit
ty
Shegi
ggl
ed.
.
Her
:howar
eyou?
mom?
Kri
s?Sam?Dad?
Me:wel
lyourmom i
sfi
netoget
herwi
th
Sam,Kr
isandTay
lorwi
llbef
ine
Her
:ok.
.Iwannast
ri
keadeal
wit
hyou.
.
Me:
l
et'
sheari
t
.
Ihel
dherhand,l
ookingather.Eventhoughshe
l
ookedpalebutshest i
ll
lookedbeauti
ful
.Ihad
managedtocatchheral onetodayint
he
morni
ng.Yest
er dayIonlysawheratnight
,she
waswithherfamilythewholeday,wel
lTayl
or
andSam onl
y,hermom leftaweekago.
Ir
ubbedherhandsof
tl
y,Idi
dn'
tev
enknowwhat
tosay.AsIplayedwithherf i
ngerst
herewas
mov ementthatgotmehol di
ngmybr eath.
Itwas
j
ustasl i
ghtmov ement.Itookadeepbr eathin
may beitwasjustar ef
lex.Momentslateri
t
happenedagain,butthi
st i
mei twassli
ght
squeezebutIfeltit
..
.Il
ookedatherandIcoul d
seeshewasbat tl
i
ngwi thhereyes.
Immediatel
y
Iranouttocallthedoctor..
shewaswaki ngup..
.
KRI
S
.
Mybodyf eltsuppressedbysomet hing, i
treal
ly
feltheav yandt i
redtoo.Itr
iedopeni ngmy
eyelids,butt heywer ejusttooheav y .Istruggl
ed
witht hem t i
llmyey escameacr osst hestrong
i
nt ensel i
ght sthatmademecl oset hem al most
i
mmedi atel
y .Icouldhearvoi ces,abi tlouder
thant hewayIwashear i
ngt hem al lal ong.I
tri
edopeni ngt hem again,
butmyv er sionwasa
bitbluredt histimear ound.Myt hroatwasdr y
,I
neededwat er.Iblinkedacoupl eoft
imes,andI
saw..i
tseemedl i
keIwasi nthehospital
.The
whitewal l
s,
theconst antbeepingandevent he
oxygenIhadpr ovedt ome.SlowlyIremov ed
i
t,t
hentriedtot al
kbutmyv oicewasjust
ref
usingt ocomeout ..
IguessIwasjust
mout hi
ng" water"
Hewentov erbesi
desmeandpour edwaterina
glassandt ookthestral
landmademedr ink
throughit.Aft
erItookaf ewsipsofwat
erI
mov edmyheadback, i
twasenough.Thedoct or
wasbusychecki ngwhat everhewaschecking
onmet ogetherwi
ththenur se.
Dr
:cany
ouhearmeKr
is?
Inodded.
.
Dr
:cany
ouseemyf
inger
s?
Hesai
dwi
thhi
shandonmyf
ace.
.
Inoddedy
etagai
n..
Thedoct
orcont
inuedwr
it
ing.
.
Dr:
wewil
lrunafewmor etestandal
sokeepher
her
etonoteanychange.
.
Aftert
hatthedoctorlef
t,hel
ookedatme.He
seemedr el
ieved,
happy..Hecametowardsand
heldmyhandandki ssedmyknuckles.I
t
broughtmet hisf
eel
ing,
thefeel
ingt
hatmelt
ed
myhear t
.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi
Hi
m:I
'm gl
ady
ouar
eawake,
Iwasst
art
ingt
ogo
cr
azy
..
Me:
whoar
eyou?
Hel
ookedatmewi
thhi
sey
ebr
owr
aised.
Hi
m:Kr
ist
in!
Me:
ummhdoIknowy
ou?
Heli
ter
all
yfroze,makingithar
dformetohol
d
mylaugh.Il
aughedabi tignor
ingthe
di
scomfortf
eelingIfelt
.
Me:youshoul
dseey
ourf
acer
ightnow.
.
Pr
iceless!
Her
elaxed.
.
Hi
m:dontpl
ayl
i
ket
hat
..
whoam I
?
Me:
wel
lyouar
etheguywhohasmyhear
t.
.
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:good.
.
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m gl
ady
ouar
eawake
Me:
theneur
osur
ger
ywentwel
l
?
Hi
m:y
eah.
..
Me:
ThankGod.
.
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Lookingathim Igotthisf
eeli
ngthatsomet
hing
wasof f,
Ihadthatfeel
ing.
.Itwasn'
treal
l
ya
greatfeel
ing.
.
Me:
ever
ythi
ngok?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.why
?
Il
ookedathi
mt r
yingtogetsomethi
ngfrom hi
s
ey
esbutnothi
ng,Icoul
dn'
tgraspanyt
hing.
.
Me:
i
sPhi
weok?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.shemi
ghtgetdi
schar
ged
Me:
wow!
howl
onghav
eIbeenher
e?
Hi
m:wecameamont
hago
Me:
thatl
ong?
Hi
m: mhhm..
youmadei
tthough.
.Youar
e
st
rongert
hanyout
hought
Me:
Ihadt
obe.
.f
ory
ouandPhi
we.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.wher
e's.
.UmmmhDad?
Lizzy
?
Hekeptquit
eforawhil
emakingmesmile
becauset
helookhehadonwasjustcut
e..He
sti
l
lwassohandsome,cut
eandall
..
Me:
what
?wher
ear
ethey
?
Hi
m:Tayl
orisatsomehot
el.
.Li
zzy
..
shel
eft
..
she
wentaway
Me:
ok.
.I
'
mfeel
i
ngt
ir
ed
Hi
m:y
oushoul
drest
Me:
no.
.Iwantt
ost
ayawakewi
thy
ou.
Lat
erthatdaydadcame, whenoureyesmethe
l
ethistearsfall.Hedidtheunexpect
ed,he
whi
ppedoutl oud.Thefeeli
ngIhadfeltearl
i
er
onwasj ustmuchst rongernow..Something
wasjustwr ongandIcoul dfeeli
t.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t58
KRI
S
.
.
Twoday sinhospi tal
,wasj ustenought omake
mewantt oleavet hisplace.Idi dn'tl
i
ket oj
ust
seatanddonot hing.Iwasj usttir
edandwel l
Bandi l
e..
hasjustbeenBandi l
e.Hehasbeen
spendi ngt i
mewi thmeev erysecondhe
get s.Sam hasal sobeencomi ngt oseeme, he
wasev enrel
ievedt oseemeawake.Asf or
Dad, he'sbeenof f,Itr
iedgettingt oknowwhat '
s
wr ongbuthebr ushedmeof ftel
li
ngmehe
didn'twantt oloseme.Ispoket omom
yest erday,sheev enscr eamedov erthephone
andt hatshowmuchhappyshewas.Il aughed
outl oud,Iwasint hephonewi thLeahandAl ex.
Me:
no.
.
Leah:
youneverknow..Bandi
l
eist
het
ypet
o
fucky
ouintotomorrow
Me:
dontst
art
..
Alex
:I'
mjustgoi
ngt
opret
endl
i
keIdi
dn'
thear
that
..Howareyouf
eel
i
ng?
Me:
bet
ter
..
justt
hatIhav
ethi
sscari
nmyhead
Al
ex:
itshoul
dsy
mbol
i
sey
ourf
ight
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
yeah.
.how'
sTshepi
e?
Al
ex:
bet
ternowt
haty
ouar
eawake
Me:
Q?
Leah:
he'
sther
e
Me:
Imi
ssy
ouguy
s..
..Al
ot
Leah:
met
oo.
.Isowannaconet
her
e
Me:
Let
haneedsherAunt
Al
ex:
andshehasdi
mpl
esl
i
key
our
s
Me:
Imi
ssmybaby
Leah:
youshoul
drecov
ersoon
Me:
yeah.
.
Justt
henBandi
l
ewal
kedi
nhol
dingpl
ast
icsof
food.
Me:
l
ookwi
l
ltal
klat
eray
t?
Leah:
ok.
.Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Al
ex:
Ilov
eyousomuchmx
aaa
Il
aughedt
henhungup.
Bandi
l
e:hey
Hesai
dbr
ief
lyki
ssi
ngmyl
i
p.
Me:
hey
..
food?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Hehandmet
hechocol
ate.
.
Me:I
'
m sti
ll
try
ingt
olosebabyf
atandy
ou
wannakeepmegetti
ngmorefat
ter
?
Hi
m:Iwoul
dst
il
ll
ovey
ouev
eni
fyouar
efat
Me:
thanky
ou
It
ookt
hechocol
ateandopenedi
t.
.
Hi
m:ar
eyoui
npai
n?
Me:
no.
.I
'
mfi
ne
Hi
m:ar
eyousur
e?
Me:
mhhm.
.y
ouneedahai
rcut
He'shai
ronthesi
deshadgr
own,
Icouldn'
tsee
thecutsowell
now,ev
enhi
smustachehadjust
grown..
Me:
mat
teroff
acty
ouneedt
hesal
oon
Hi
m:I
'
mthatbad?
Me:
youwon'tbel
i
eve.
.It
hinkev
enwaxi
ngwi
l
l
ber
equi
red
Heputi
nami
schi
evoussmi
l
e..
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Me:
mhhm
Hetookmyhands,bot
hofthem t
henhel
dthem
ti
ght
ly.Wit
hhi
sotherfr
eehandhesnuckhi
s
handinsi
demydress.
.
Me:
Ndi
l
e..
Isai
dgaspi
ngashi
shandbr
ushedov
ermy
pussy.
Hi
m:soIneedwaxi
ng?
Me:
youar
emol
est
ingme
Hel
aughedthenhi
shandgoti
nmypant
ies,
t
henst
rai
ghttomycli
t.
.
Me:
Ndi
l
e..
Iwhisper edrunningoutofbr eath.Her ubbed
mesof t
lymaki ngmedi gmyt eethintomy
l
owerl ip.Thisisn'twhatIi magi nedmydayl ike,
i
tsonl ythesecondday .Hesl i
ppedonef i
nger
i
n,thenaf terawhi l
et wo.It r
iedholdingit,
itwas
j
ustsogood.Myt oescur ledasIf el
titbuilding
ar
oundhi sf i
ngers.Heki ssedmesoIdont
makenoi se.Imour nedsof t
lyi
nhi smout h,biti
ng
hi
sl owerl ipandpul l
inghishai rasIclimaxed.
Mybodygav eani nvoluntaryshaket henaf tera
whileIwasbr eathinghar dtryi
ngt ocatchmy
breath,
thatwasr eall
yintense.
Hewit
hdrewhisf
inger
s,f
ixedmypant
ythenmy
dr
essnicel
y.
Him:
Iwannatakey
ousomewher
ewheny
ouget
outf
rom her
e.
Me:
takemesomewher
e?
Him:
yeah.
.t
henf
rom t
her
ewewi
l
lgoback
home
Me:
ummhok.
.butwhataboutPhi
we?
Hi
m:wewi
l
lgobackt
oher
,don'
twor
ry
Me:
wher
ewi
l
lwebegoi
ng?
Hi
m:j
ustsomewher
e..
forsomequal
i
tyt
ime
Me:
whatabouty
ourbusi
ness?
Hi
m:I'
m notgoi
ngtotr
adeanyt
hingf
oryoupl
us
t
herearepeopl
epai
dtotakecar
eofthat
..
Me:
ok.
.Imi
ssy
ou
Hi
m:met
oo.
.
Heki
ssedmyf
orehead.
.
Me:Ihav
ebeenhav
ingt
hisf
eel
i
ngl
i
ke
somethi
ngi
swrong
Hi
m:i
twi
l
lbef
ine.
.Ev
ery
thi
ngwi
l
lbef
ine
Me:
ist
her
esomet
hingwr
ongNdi
l
e?
Hi
m:notr
eal
l
y..Eaty
ourchocol
ate
Iat
ewhilstwetal
ked.
.Wellnotr
eal
l
ytalki
ngbut
j
ust.
.smoochi
ngaround.Lat
eronhehadto
go,
hadsomeonehehadt omeetupwith.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lcomebackl
ater
Me:
ok
Het
ookof
fhi
sjacketandmademeweari
t.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
ssupposedt
odot
het
ri
ck
Hesai
dmaki
ngmeweari
t.I
tsmel
thi
m..
Igi
ggl
ed.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou.
.
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Het henlef
t,
leav
ingwi
tharetar
dedsmileonmy
face.Iputmyhandsinhispocket
swhereIfel
t
somet hi
ngli
keapaper.It
ookitoutand
sur
pri
singl
yitwaswr
it
tenKRI
Sincapi
tal
let
ter
s.
DidBandi
leleavehi
sjacketonpur
pose
becausehewr ot
ealett
ertome?Ismil
edasI
openedit
..
"
Kri
s
Iknowy oumi ghtthinky oukill
edmeor
somet hingl i
ket hatbutt rustmei tsnotl ikethat.
Unlikemey ouhav eaBr i
ghtfutur eaheadofy ou
anddeat hi sn'tanopt ionjusty et.Idi dt his
becausey oudeser veachancet opr ov e
yoursel fandt obet hewomany ou'veal way s
dreamtt obe.Don' tbelievethev oicesi ny our
headbecauset rustmet heywi llleady ou
astray,youdi dn'tkillanyoner athery ougav eme
theoppor t
unitytoleav eamar k.Don' tev endar e
tocr y,
orf eel guil
tybecausehunI '
m happyIdi d
thi
s..thisi sthemost ..
wel li
tssomet hi ngt hatI
didwi thhappi ness,knowi ngt haty ouwi ll be
smilingy ourbeaut if
ul smi l
emakesmehappi er.
Raisey ourheadhi gher ,
aim higherandl etme
tel
lyoualit
tl
esecret.
.becauseyouareKri
s..
you
wil
lmakei t
..
Iloveyoubaby,pumpkin,
pri
ncess.
.andpleasedontbet oohardon
him..
youknowy oulovehim.
Iwill
bel ookingdownony oueverymi nute,
it
s
goingt obeabi tsadbecausewher eI'
m going
I'
m sur etherei
snoagi r
lcall
edKriswhosmi l
es
abeaut if
ul smi
leli
keyoursandlaught heway
youdo. ..
butIpromiseIwil
lther
e,i
ny ourheart
baby..DeepdownI '
mthere,
I'
m nevergoing
away .Pleasekeeponlaughingalotandsmi l
i
ng
alot.
.itmakesy oulookmuchmor ebeautif
ul"
Ireadthelett
ermorethantwice,
not
understandi
ngatallbutmyheartwasal
ready
beati
ngf ast
,whathappenedt
oLizzy?
Igotof
fthebed,
notabl
etobr
eat
h.
Itookmyphonet henwentonsoci
almedi
aand
searched"
Eli
zabethMacver
dana"
Whatcameupmademeweak.Therewereso
manypostabouthowshe"
gav
e"upherl
i
feto
saveherst epdaughter
..Howshedonat edher
heartt
oherdy i
ngstepdaughter.Whatr ushed
tomymi ndwasAl ex,
butAlexwasj ustf
ine.
.So
whichstepdaught er
.Iranmyheadont he
bundaget hatwasonmychest .Itcan'tbeme..i
t
i
sn'tme..Ineverhadheartfai
lure..Thedoctor
thenwalkedi nwit
hthenurse..
Me:
didIhav
e..
hear
tfai
l
ure?
Dr
:yes.
Me:ohhmyGod!OhmyGod!
no.
.noI
di
dn't
..
what
..
no.
.No!
Iwasscr
eami
ng.
.
Me:
no!
no.
.
Ipull
edsomedr
ipsconnect
edt
omybody
..
then
stoodup.
.
Me:
shecan'
t.
..
Idi
dn'
t.
..I
..
no!
Theygr
ippedmet
ight
lyasIscr
eamed.
.
Thenaf
terawhi
l
e,Ist
art
edf
eel
i
ngweak.
.
Idi
dn'
thaveahear
tfai
l
ure.
.Idi
dn'
t.
..Icoul
dn'
t
hav
ekil
ledher
.
.
Isatther e,
l
ookingatthewhitewal l
sli
kethey
wouldj usttal
k.Alotwasgoi ngoni nmymi nd
thatIfeltli
keshutt
ingitdown,li
keshutti
ng
everyt
hi ngdown.Ifeltagentlepushthat
broughtmebackmaki ngmer eali
zeIhadbeen
squeezi ngmyhospi t
al gownsohar dt
hatmy
handev enhurt
.Itwast henurseholdi
ngfood.
Her
:youneedt
oeatMam
Ij
ustl
ookedather
,qui
teasIhav
ebeent
his
whol
eweek.
Shepl
acedt
hepl
atebesi
desme.
.
Her:
youneedt
oeatf
orener
gyandsoy
oudr
ink
yourpi
l
ls.
Ist
il
lkeptsi
l
ent
,thedoort
henopenedand
Bandi
legoti
nsi
deholdi
ngsomeplast
ic.
Hi
m:dontwor
ryIwi
l
ltakei
tfr
om her
e
Hesai
dtot
henursewhoi
mmedi
atel
ythenl
eft
.
Hewal
kedt
owardsme.
Hi
m:hey
Hesai
dki
ssi
ngmyf
orehead.
.
Hi
m:Ibr
oughty
ouf
ood.
.
Hesai
dtakingoutsomesaladfr
om thepl
asti
c
andal
soicecream.Idi
dn'
tevenfeel
hungry.
Idi
dn'tev
enmakeanat t
empttotaket
hefood,
I
j
ustdidn'
tfeel
hungr
y.If
eltl
i
keIwasinsome
movieandGodknowshowIdr eadedi
ttoend.
Hi
m:Idontt
hinkLi
zzywoul
dwantt
his.
.
Me:youshoul
dn'
thav
elether
..
.y
oushoul
dn'
t
hav
e..
Iwhispered,Tr
yingsohar dt oholditt
ogether,
tr
yingsohardt otakeitasmat ur
eperson.Itjust
hurt,
itcr
ushedme.Nomat terhowIt r
iedtolook
atit,
i
fIdidn'
thav eheartfai
lurethenshe
wouldn'thavedonet hi
s,shewoul dsti
l
l behere.
Hi
m:what
'st
his?
Hesai
dtakingthenewspaperthatwasbesi
des
t
hebed,
Lizzy'
sarti
clewasther
e.
Him:stopdoi ngthistoy oursel
f.
.Shedidt
his
becauseshel ovedyouenought omakeyouliv
e
l
onger..appreciateit
..
shedi dthi
sbecauseshe
l
ovesy ou,andwantnot hingbutthebestf
or
you.
.shedi dlovey ou
Me:
Idi
dtoo.
.she.
.she.
.
Heembr acedmet i
ght l
yletti
ngmesobqui etl
y
i
nhi sar ms.Itst
il
lfeltfresh,i
tstillhurtbadl
y.He
heldmesaf elyi
nhisar msunt i
l Iwascal m,I
heldunt otohiml i
kemyl if
edependentoni t
.
Thatwast heonlyplacewer eIf el
tcal m.ButI
knewassoonashest epsout ,
theov erbear
ing
feel
ingcomesback, andst ranglesmeunt ilI
cantbr eat
hany mor e.Somet imesIwonderhow
l
ifewoul dhav ebeeni fshedi dn'tgiveupher
heart.Iwishshedi dn'tdoit..
Bandi
l
ewasl
ayi
ngwi
thmeont
hebedl
ater
on,
thehospitalhadgivenmeamuchbi gger,
or
j
ustabitbiggerthanthepr evi
ousbedsoIcan
becomf or
tablebecausesomet imesIf
eel t
he
Csect
ionpain.Hewasr ubbingmybacklikehe
usual
lydoes..
Hi
m:Iaskedmom t
osendav
ideoofPhi
we.
.
Me:
l
etmesee.
.
Hetookhisphoneandbrowsedthr
oughitfora
whi
lethengaveitt
ome.Shewasj ustdoi
ng
small
babymov ements.Movi
ngherti
nyhands
i
ntheair.I
twasreal
lybeaut
if
ul.
.
Hi
m:shedi
ditbecausesheKnewyoustil
lhave
achi
ldwhoneedsyou..
Simphi
wedoesn'thave
t
ogrowupwithoutamom. .
shest
il
lneedsy ou
Iwi
pedawaymyt
ear
s..
"Idi
dthisbecauseyoudeserveachancet o
proveyoursel
fandtobethewomany ou'v
e
alwaysdreamttobe.Don'tbeli
evet
hev oi
cesin
yourheadbecausetrustmet heywi
lll
eady ou
astr
ay,youdidn'tkil
lany oner atheryougav eme
theoppor t
unitytoleav eamar k.Don'tevendare
tocry,
orfeel guil
tybecausehunI '
m happyIdi d
thi
s..
thi
si sthemost .
.wellitssomet hingthatI
didwithhappi ness,knowi ngt hatyouwi l
lbe
smil
ingy ourbeaut i
fulsmi lemakesmehappi er"
*
***
***
***
***
***
**
Istoodinfrontoft hemi r
ror,analysi
ngmy
self
,mybody .
.mybodywassl owlygoi ngt
o
normal.Thebal dst i
l
l mademef eel
somehow, soasusual Iworemycap.Iwas
getti
ngdischargedatl ast.Thescarwasst il
l
there.
.Ij
usthadt oomanyscar snow.I
retr
eatedfrom themi rr
orandwal kedoutofthe
bathroom,backi ntot heroom andsatont he
bed.AsIsatt hereIr eceivedat extfrom
Tshepie.
.
"Yourst
rengthgoeswayabov eany
thi
ngelse,
i
ts
j
ustmot i
vati
onal
.I'
m soproudofyouri
ghtnow..
Youdeserveyourhappyendingnowbutthen
i
t'
stimef orcelebr
ati
on.I'
m goingt ogetdrunk
asindrunkt oni
ght.
.I'
m cel
ebratingyour
win.
.andy eahweshouldplanVi ctori
afal
ls..
"
IsmiledasIreadthetext
,Ihadtoomanytext
s
from peopl
ewhichjustmadef eel
bet
ter
..I
repl
ied..
"IneverknewIwasst r
onguntilbei
ngstr
ong
wast heonlyoptionleft
.Asformyhappy
ending,I
'm sureGodi sontopofit.Andohh
yes,docelebrat
emywi nbecauseIhavemadei
t,
Ihav emadei tagai
nstdeath"
JustthenBandil
ewalkedi n,
looki
ngashotas
always.Ihav
ebeenf eeli
nginsecur
elat
ely
,well
becauseIdon'tl
ikemyappear anceany
mor e.
.I
feelugl
yandallandeitherwayIhaven'
tbeen
makinganyef f
ortonmyl ooks.
Hi
m:hey
..
Hepeekedmyli
ps,
thent
ookmysmal
lbagt
hat
wasonthebed.
Hi
m:Ihav
eal
readysi
gnedy
ouout
..
let
'sgo.
.
Hehel pedmegetof ft
hebed,
thenhel
dmyhand
aswewal kedoutside,
butwedidn'
tusethe
frontdoor,buti
nsteadwetookadif
ferentway
thatledtot hebackdoor.
Me:
whyar
eweusi
ngt
hisway
..
Hi
m:mycari
sthi
ssi
de.
.
Me:
ohh
Hi
m:yeahandt
hemedi
aiswai
ti
ngf
ory
ou,
Idont
wantt
otir
eyou
Me:
medi
a?
Him:yeah.
.Idon'
twantany
onebei
ngal
lupi
n
yourcase.
.
Wewal kedoutthroughthebackdoor ,
str
aight
t
oHi scarbutunfortunat
elyther
ewer eafew
j
ournali
stwhocamer unni
ngast heysaw
me,t
akingpict
ures.IhelduntoBandil
eshand
t
ightl
yaswewal kedt ohiscar.
"
Howdoy oufeelont
hefactt
hatEl
izabet
h
Macv
erdanagaveupherhear
ttoyou?"
"MissMacv er
danawhatdoyouhav
etosay
aboutEli
zabet
hMacverdanagi
vi
ngupherl
i
fe
foryou?
"
"
Isi
ttr
uet
haty
oudi
dn'
tknow?
"
Wewal kedabitf
ast
erthenBandi
leopenedthe
doorformeandassoonasIgotinhecl osedi
t.
Healsogotin,
i
gnori
ngital
l.Hedr
ove
away,
awayinthecit
y,
awayf r
om i
tal
l.
.
Me:
Ifeel
li
keIshoul
dhav
e-
Him:no.
.y
oushouldn'
thav esai
dany thing.
.You
knowshedidthisbecauseshel ovesy ou.
.y
ou
donthavetoexpl
ainthattoanyone.Pl usweare
havi
nganewst art
,afreshstar
t.
.together
Hesai
dsqueezi
ngmyhandabi
t.
.
Eventhoughitsbeenamontheversi
nceIi
tal
l,
I
st
ill
thinkofhereveryt
imeIcl
osemyeyes,
her
smilesti
ll
appearsinmymind,
Isti
l
lfi
ndmysel
f
cryi
ng..Itst i
l
l waspai nf ul.I
fonl yIdidn'thav e
heartfail
ure.Il ookedout sidet hrought he
windowashedr ovet ot heai rport.Hewas
taki
ngmesomewher ef orjust2, weeks
becauseIst i
ll hadt ogot oschool .Dadhasn' t
rai
sedt hei ssuey et,
soI '
m st i
llnotsurei fI
'm
sti
llmov i
ng.Hi scarswi ftl
ytur nedget t
ingint he
air
port.Hepar kedhi scart hencameov ertome
andopenedt hedoorf orme.Igotof fthenhe
wenttot akeourbagsf r
om t heboot .Wewal ked
i
nsidet heai rpor t.Bandi lewasusi ngthistripas
awayofget tingusspendqual it
yt i
met ogether
andwel litwasact uallyagoodi dea.Stay i
ngi n
hospit
al foramont hr eallymademehat e
Netherlands.Sam wentbackhome, aweekago. .
Iwasact ual l
ygl adthathewasget t
ingalong
withBandi le.AndDad, hehasbeenpr etending
he'sok,Lizzy'spassi ngr eallyaf f
ectedhi m but
hewon' tadmi ti tandt hishasal sobeenmaki ng
mehav esleepl essni ghtssomet i
mes.Ir obbed
him hi
shappi ness.Hehadev enlostwei ght.I
st
il
lfel
tli
keIki
l
ledher
..
.
SAM
.
Her
:Imi
ssy
ou
Me:y
oudecidedt
oleav
ethedaybef
oreIar
ri
ved
Ti
na,
butIhadtol
dyou.
.
Her
:i
twasmom.
.Ican'
treal
l
ydef
yher
Me:
whataboutmov
ing?Ar
eyoust
il
lon?
Her
:ofcauseSam.
.wemov
ing.
.Toget
her
Me:
good.
.
Her
:Imadey
ousomet
hing
Me:
whati
sit
?
Her
:Iwi
l
lshowy
ouwhenIar
ri
vet
her
e
Me:
Iwi
l
lwai
tfori
t
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
Ial
sobr
oughty
ousomet
hing
Her
:whati
sit
?
Me:
youwi
l
lseei
twheny
oucomeback
Her
:I
'm comi
ngbackt
odayt
hen
Il
aughed
Me:
goodchoi
ce.
.
Her
:Il
ovey
ouSamuel
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Her
:Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng,
Ineedt
ost
artcooki
ng
Me:
ok.
.
Shegi
ggl
edt
henhungup.
Iwentt
hroughmyWhatsAppwhenIhear
da
sof
tknockonthedoor
.
Me:
yeah!
Thepersonsl
owlyopenedt
hedoorandi
twas
Leah.Shesmi
ledasshesawme.
Her
:heywher
e'sAl
ex?
Me:
youcannev
erf
indAl
exdur
ingweekends
Shegi
ggl
edsof
tl
y.
.
Her
:t
ell
meabouti t
..
well
shouldii
ncludey ouon
l
unchsinceAuntwon'
tbeinthi
safternoon.
Shecal
l
smymom Aunt
..
Me:
yeah.
.mat
teroff
actl
etmecomehel
pyou
Igott
hebedt
henslippedmyT-
shi
rton.We
wenttot
heki
tchen.
Her
:whatdoy
oupr
efar
eforl
unch?
Me:
any
thi
ngi
sok
Her
:ummhok.
.
Shewal
kedt
othef
ri
dgeandt
ookoutj
uice.
Her
:youcanhel
pyour
sel
fwi
thj
uiceasIst
art
Me:
butIsai
dIwantt
ohel
p..
Her
:youdon'
thav
eto.
.
Me:
Leah!
Shei
gnor
edmet
henwentandt
ookouta
gl
ass,t
henshepouredmethejui
ceandplaced
i
tbesidesme.Shewalkedbacktot
hefri
dge
andtookouti
cecream.Shetookaspoonfulof
i
cecream t
hentookoutpotat
oes.
Isatonthest
ool andwatchedhercook,
i
twas
actual
l
yamazingwat chi
nghercook.Shekept
oneatingi
cecream, onespoonthengoi
ngback
towhatshewasdoi ng.
Her
:youwant
?
Idi
dn'tr
eal
i
zeIhadbeenst
arr
ingunt
ilshe
spoke.
Me:
Idontl
i
kei
cecr
eam
Her
:t
oobad
Me:
yeah
Her
:butIcanmakei
ttast
ebet
ter
Me:
ohh?
Shewal
keduptomewit
ht hei
cecream t
hen
st
oodri
ghti
nfr
ontofme.Shetookaspoonf
ul
i
nt ohermout ht henst oodonhert oesasher
l
ipsmetmi neandhert ounget hrusti
ngintomy
mout h.Icouldt astet hei cecream al l overmy
mout h.Ikissedherbackpul l
ingheri nbetween
myl egs.Ourt oungesent wi
nedt oget herasthe
kissgotdeeper .Igotof fthest ool wit
hout
breakingtheki sst henpi ckedherupsot hatshe
wr apsherlegsar oundmywai st.Iplacedheron
thecount erthenpul ledout .
Me:
youdontwantt
odot
hisLeah,
notwi
thme.
.
Shewasbr
eat
hingheav
il
ypant
ing.
.
Her
:Iwantt
o
Shewhisperedsoft
ly.Ir
etr
eatedfrom her,
then
wentandswi t
chedoffthestovethelockedthe
door
.Walkingbacktowardsher,shewas
l
ookingatmewi thl
ustwr i
tt
enalloverher.
Me:t
hisi
sonlysex,
Ihav
eagi
rl
fr
iendandy
ou
ar
eKris'
sfr
iend.
.
Shenoddedr
epeat
edl
ywhi
l
esqueezi
ngher
thi
ghstogether
.Igotherof ft
hecount erthen
walkedwithhertothesitt
ingroom thenl ayher
onthecouch.Ipull
edhershor tst
oget herwi t
h
herpanti
esexposinghershav edpussy .Shejust
l
ookedlikeagreatfuck.Iburi
edmyhead
betweenherlegsasshemour nedoutsof t
ly.
.
KRI
S
.
Ifeltagentl
epushwhi chmademecomeback
toearth.I
twasBandi l
ewaki
ngmeup.Ihad
fal
lenasleep,Iopenedmyeyesyawni
ng.
Il
ookedathim ashegav
emeoneofthose
smil
esthatar
esurel
yweaknesst
omyheart
.
Me:
wet
her
e?
Hi
m:al
most
..Youhav
ebeensl
eepi
ngf
oral
ong
t
imenow
Me:
oh
Hi
m:Iwantt
otell
y ousomet
hingbutpr
omi
se
me.
.t
hatyouwil
lforgi
veme
Il
ookedathi
m nowreal
lyconcer
ned.If
elt
ner
vousandscar
edstthesamet i
me.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Hi
m:pr
omi
semey
ouwon'
tbemad
Me:
youar
escar
ingmenow.
.whati
sit
?
Him:r
emembert
het
imeoft
hecust
ody
document
s?
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:wel
lthosewer
e..
-
Hegotcutshor tbyannouncementt hatwe
shouldfastenourseatbelts.Wefastenedour
seatbel
ts,
theplanewasal mostl
anding.Heheld
myhandgi vi
ngmegent lesqueeze.Icould
sensehewasasner vousasmebutIwasn' t
goingtopusht i
llhedecidesonhisownt otel
l
me.Get t
ingofftheplane,andaft
ertakingour
bags,wellmakethatafterBandil
ecollect
ingour
bagswewal
kedtot
hewait
ingar
ea.Il
ookedat
Bandi
l
easIsawsomepaperwri
tt
en"MRAND
MRSTHULANI"
Me:
ist
her
eanot
herThul
ani
whi
chi
sn'
tyou?
Hel
ookedatmewi
thar
aisedey
ebr
ow.
Me:
who'
sthat
?
Isai
dpoint
ingatt
hewomanhol
dingt
hepi
ece
ofpaper
.
Hi
m:sheswel
comi
ngus.
.obv
iousl
y
Me:
butI
'
m notMr
sThul
ani
Hi
m:i
tdoesn'
tmat
terordoesi
t?
Hesai
dasweapproachedher
.Ikeptqui
te,
not
l
iki
ngwer
etheconver
sati
onwassuddenly
goi
ng.
Hi
m:Mi
ssWi
l
li
am.
.
Hesaidgivingherahandshake.Sheseemed
l
ikeshewashi sageorso,somesexyslender
brunet
te.Talll
egs,
l
onghairandwithami l
l
ion
doll
arsmilerev
eal
i
ngherwhi
tet
eet
h.Shewas
real
lybeauti
ful
.
Her
:Rochel
l
épl
ease
Hi
m:yeahRichel
lé,
thi
sisKri
s,
mywi
feandbabe
t
hiswil
lbe.
.well
ourguide.
.
Shel
aughedabi
t.
.
Her
:ni
cemeet
ingy
ouMr
sThul
ani
,
I'
m Rochel
l
é
Wil
l
iams
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Her
:wel
lthi
swaypl
ease.
.
Shesai dwalki
nginfr
ontofus.Thewayshe
waswal ki
ngonewouldthi
nksheai n'
tweari
ng
heels.Shewalkedustosomeni ceblack
Mer cedes.Someguywhol ookedli
kea
body guardopenedt
hedoorf orus.
.Igoti
n
fol
lowedbyBandi l
e.
Me:
didy
ouhi
ret
hem?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.y
oul
i
ke?
Me:
mhhm.
.
I
twasal readydawn.Af terawhi lewewer e
dri
v i
ngacr ossthebeaut ifulci
ty.Pari
swas
reallybeautif
ul,
thestreetl i
ghtsrefl
ectedthe
roadaswedr ove.Iwasj ustamazedbyt he
beaut y.IhadmyheadonBandi l
eschest
l
isteningt ohisheartbeatagai nsthi
schestasI
wat chedt hebeauty.
Andi
l
e:babe?
Hesai
dsof
tl
y.
.
Me:
mhhm
Andi
l
e:y
ouknowIl
ovey
our
ight
?
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Andi
l
e:t
hat
snotwhatIasked.
.
Me:
doesi
tmat
ter
?
Andi
l
e:i
tdoesact
ual
l
y..
Ir
aisedmyheadf
rom hi
schestandl
ookedat
hi
m.
Me:
somet
hingwr
ong?
Andi
l
e:no..
butIj
ustwantyout
oknowIlov
eyou
somuch..
evenonthedayswher
eyou'
dhateme
somuch
Me:
buti
woul
dnev
erhat
eyou,
Il
ovey
ou
Andi
l
e:I
'
m notper
fect
..Somet
imesI
..
-
Icuthi m shortbysmashi ngmyl i
psonhi scol d
softlips.Hef rozeforasect herethenf i
nally
gotint hev i
bemaki ngmeopenmymout hand
l
ethi stoungei nsidemymout h.Hest ounge
coax edanddancedwi thmi nesof t
lymaki ngme
feelweak.Hepul ledmei nt
ohi slap,t
hent il
ted
myheadasheusual l
ydoesai mingf oramuch
deeperi ntensekiss.Iwrappedmyar msar ound
hisneck, f
ollowinghisl
ead.Ipul l
edoutaf tera
while..
Me:Il
oveyou,Il
oveus.
.Il
ovehowcomfor
tabl
eI
am wit
hyou,howyouteasemesometi
mes..
Howy ouannoyme,howy oulookatmewhen
wekisseventhefactt
haty ouwat chmesl eep
mostoftheti
me,i
t'screepybutIlov eit
..
Ilov e
t
hatyouloveme..AndIknowy oul ovegetting
memadandupsetbuthat i
ngy oui sthelast
t
hingIcaneverdo..
evenifIwantedt o.
.
Igavehi
m abriefki
ssthenl
ayonhischest
agai
nandli
stenedtohishear
tbeat
.He
wrappedhi
shandsar oundmeti
ght
ly.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Ilovedbeingi nhi sarms,Ifeltsafethere.His
Cologneint oxicatedmeasIbur i
edmyheadon
hisbroadchest .Nomat terhowmuchIcanget
angryathim, howmanyt imesIcansayIdont
wanthim any mor eornomat terhowmany
ti
meshemayhur tmebutIl ov ehim,somuch.
Whent hecarf inall
ystoppedhel etmegot hen
gotoffthecar ,andal solett
ingmeout .Wewer e
i
nf r
ontofsomebi gbuil
dingwhi chappear ed
l
ikeahot el.Theguywhoappear edtobeour
dr
iverorbodyguar
dwalkedbehi
ndusaswe
wal
kedi nsi
dethebeaut
if
ulhot
el.
"
Bienv
enu"someguyatt
hedoor
,dr
essed
f
ormall
ysai
d..
Me:
whatdoest
hatmean?
Ndi
l
e:wel
come
Me:
l
anguage?
Ndi
l
e:Fr
ench
Me:
andhowdoy
ouknow?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Him:
babeI
'
m abusinessman.
.Ihav
etoknow
basi
cssot
oint
eract.
.
Wewal
kedt
other
ecept
ion.
.
"Bonsoi
retbi
env
enu"t
her
ecept
ionsai
d
smili
ng.
.
Ireal
lylovedhowt
hei
rlanguager
oll
edont
hei
r
tounges..
Ndi
le:
goodeveni
ngt
oyout
oo,
wear
eMrand
MrsThul
ani
..
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:ohhy
es,
youwi
l
lbel
edt
oyourr
oom.
.
Shesai
dgestur
ingsomel
adywhoi
mmedi
atel
y
cametous.
Her
:thi
sisMi
randa,
shewi
l
lescor
tyout
oyour
r
oom..
Ndi
l
e:ok.
.
Hehel
dmyhand.
..
Her
:pr
ofi
terdeh(
enj
oy)
Ismiledaswewal kedaway ..Thei
rlanguage
wasj ustamusing.Bandilel
edmet otheliftas
theguywi thourbagsf ol
lowedust ogetherwi t
h
theladyescort.Getti
ngtoourr oom,Iwasj ust
amazed.I twasav eryhuge,hugerthanany thi
ng
Ihaveev erseen.Thekingsizedbedhadt he
mostbeaut if
ulduvets.Theroom wasmost l
y
coveredwi t
hmar oonandabi tofdarkgoldish
brown.Thecandleshadli
ghtedther oom,gi
vi
ng
i
tthatfeeli
ngt
henr osepet
alsalloverthefl
oor
andthebed.Icouldseethebalconyslidedoor
wasopenmaki ngmeseet hetableandt wo
chair
s.Itwasr
eallybeaut
if
ul.
Me:
ohmy
..
Hecl
osedt
hedoor
.
Hi
m:y
oul
i
ke?
Me:
Il
ovei
t.
.i
tsr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.
If
eltt
ear
schokeme,
i
twasj
ustsobeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:
Il
ovei
t
Hetur
nedmesoIf
acehi
m andki
ssedmyt
ear
s
away.
.
Hi
m:wannat
ast
ethebed?
orf
oodf
ir
st?
Hesaidashesnuckhi
shandsi
nsi
demyT-shir
t
andwentuptomyboobsthensof
tl
ymassaged
then.
.
Ibi
tmyl
owerl
i
pasheshandsgav
emet
his
f
eel
i
ng.
Hi
m:whati
sitt
haty
ouwantKr
is?
Mybreathi
nghadalr
eadyhi
tchedashe
whi
speredsoft
lyonmyneckmakingmefeel
hi
swarm breat
h.
Hepull
edmylowerli
pwi
thhi
steet
hsof
tl
yas
heuncl
ippedt
hebra.
Final
lyhet ooki toff,
togetherwit
ht hebra
l
eav i
ngmybr eastpoi nti
ngathi m,
awai t
inghi
s
touch..Het ookof fmyj eans,t
ogetherwith
panti
est henIwasonl yl
eftasme, makesbefore
him.Hi seyesanal ysedmybodymaki ngmef eel
uncomf ort
abl e.Final
lyhesey esmov edt omy
eyes.
Hi
m:y
ouar
ereal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
Hesai
dclosingthegapbetweenusthenpull
ed
meunti
lhim bymywaist.Hekissedme,har
d
whi
lesqueezingmyboobsthensuddenl
yi f
elt
hi
sfi
ngersli
pi nmywetcookie.Iwast
hrobbing
forhim, Iwant edhi m..Heci rcledhisfi
nger
slowlygoi nginandoutsl owl ymakingmegr oan
againsthi sli
ps.Hedi ditov erandov eragain
untilIst artedfeel
ingit,cl
oseIwast hen
suddenl yhest oped.Ibitmyl owerli
pin
frust
r ation.Hepushedmeunt othebedashe
tookof fhisT-shirtexposinghi ssexybody .He
camebet weenmyl egsst raightuntomybr east
andst artedsucking.Itjustfel t
..
sogood.
Icouldn'ttakei tanymor e,Iwantedhimr ight
ther
e.Isl i
ppedmyhandi nhistr
ousersand
wentst r
aightf orhisalreadystif
fcock.Ir ubbed
him slowlyashegr oaned.Hepr essedmybody
againstthebedasIi ncr easedmypace.I
pushedhi st rousersabi tdownt henti
l
t edmy
pavi
sasIst uckhimi n.Hepul l
edmyhandsand
l
ockedt hem ont opofmyheadt henslammed
hardinme. Iclosedmyey esasitjustfeltso
good.
.
Iopenedmyey esthefoll
owingdayandf ound
my selflyi
ngonabesf ull
ofrosepetalsbutI
wasl ockedi nhisarms.Hewasst i
l
lsleeping,I
tookthatt i
met ojustlookathim,hereall
ywas
hot.May bet oohotformebutr egardlessthat
hest i
llchoseme.Af terawhileIdecidedt oget
up.Het i
ghtenedhisgrip.
Me:
Iwantt
opee
Hej
ustst
ayedsi
l
ent
,st
il
lgr
ippi
ngme.
Me:
Bandi
l
e..Babel
etgo
Hi
m:j
ustami
nut
e
Hehel
donf
orawhi
l
ether
ethenf
inal
l
yletme
go.
Ist
agger edouttheofthebedandwal kedtot he
bathroom picki
nguphi sT-shir
tandslippi
ngi t
on.Af t
erdoingmybusi nessItookacl osel
ook
ofmy selfonthemirror.Isti
ll
lookedthesame
wellexpectfrom t
hehickey sBandil
ehasgiv en
me.Ispl ashedmyf acewi t
hwat ert
henwal ked
putaft
erawhi le.Ijustcouldn'tlookatmy
ref
lect
ionmor e.Wal kingoutIwaswel comedby
aknockont hedoor .Bandi
ledi dn'tseem likehe
wantedtowakeup, hehadev encov eredhi s
headwi t
habl anket.Itookthebat hroom robe
andwor eitwalkingt othedoor .Somedel i
v er
y
guywasst andingther ehol
dinganenv elope.
Him:
goodmor
ning,
I'
mlooki
ngf
orMr
sKr
ist
in
Thul
ani
Il
ookedathi
m wit
hmymouthopen,
whyon
ear
thwouldhecal
lmeThul
ani
orisi
tBandi
le?
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
i
tsme
Hi
m:mam pl
easesi
gnher
e
Isi
gnedt
henhehandmet
heenv
elopeandof
f
hewasgone.
.
Iwalkedi
nbackintheroom openi
ngi
t.What
waswr i
tt
eni
nthedocument smademymout h
dryandmybrai
nfreeze.Ir
aisedmyheadand
hewasl
ooki
ngatme.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
#notedi
ted
.
I
'
m atschoolr
ightnowlol
Iwil
lseeyouguy
s
l
aterwi
thanot
herinser
thopef
ull
y.
.
Lov
eyal
l

[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
#I
nser
t59
KRI
S
.
.
~AYEARLATER~
Lifenev ergoesaccor dingt
opl an,i
tsnev erthe
wayy ouwanti tbe.Italwaystakeasuddent urn
wheny out hinkyouhav eaplan.Somet i
mesI
pinchmy self,t
owakeupf r
om t hedr eam butI
reall
ycan' tseem towakeup.Ir ememberj ust
l
ikey esterdaywhent hosemar r
iagecer t
ifi
cates
l
andedi nmyhands.Foramomentt hereI
neededhi mt olaughitoutandt el
l mei t
sal la
j
oke,IswearIwasgoi ngtobelieveit.Butno, i
t
wasr ealit
y .Reali
tyt
hatIhav enev erthoughtof .
.
Theconv ersationst
il
l pl
ayoverandov erinmy
hand..
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
**
Me:
Bandi
lepleaset
ell
itsal
laj
oke.
.pl
easet
ell
methi
sisnothappeni
ng
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.
Me:why?whyoneart
hwoul
dy ou.
..
wouldyoudo
somethi
ngli
kethat
?somet
hingli
kethi
s?
Hi
m:Icoul
dn'
tl
osey
ou.
.Inev
erwantt
olosey
ou
Il
ookedathi
mlostf
orwor
dstosay
,i
tal
l
soundedl
i
keadream t
ome.
Him:Iknowy oumadr ightnow,orupset
..
I'
m
real
lysorrybutIdon'
tregretdoi
ngit.
.Iwould
sti
ll
doi tagai
neitherway..
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Hedidn'tregretiteit
herway ,
justapologet
ic.I
wasupset ,reall
yupset.IrememberIhad
wantedt oleave,Iwantedtoleavehim buthe
l
ockedt hedoorandwasadamantt hatnoone
wasgett i
ngoutunt i
lwehadsol vedtheissue.
West ayedi nthatroom for1f ul
lweekandI
wasn'twill
ingtot al
k.He'dgoout ,
leaveme
l
ockedin,comebackwi t
hf ood.Inevergotout
oft
hatr oom becausehenev erl
etme.
Aft
erthatweekhef i
nal
lyopenedthedoorfor
me.Het ol
dmeifIwant edtoleaveIcanandhe
hadbookedmypl aneti
ckettogobackhome.
Hegav emechoicetoleaveifIwantedtobutas
muchasIwasmad. .
Icouldn'
tbri
ngmy sel
fto.
Heunl ockedthedoori nthemor ningthen
l
eft,
mypl anewasat1000hr s.Hewassur prised
tocomebackl ateandf i
ndmest i
llt
hereev en
thoughhewasdr unk.Icouldn' tleavebecauseI
promisedt osti
ckar oundnomat terwhatand
wehadbeent hroughal ottogi v eitallaway
becauseofmar ri
age.Myr elationshi pwith
Bandil
ehadal way sbeenal eapoff ait
h,aleap
offait
hIcer t
ainl
ydontr egret.Ifpossi bleIcan
alwaysdoi toverandov eragai n,Iwoul dn'
tmi nd.
Goinghomeandknowi ngthatI '
m amar ri
ed
womanf el
twei r
d..Ifel
tdif
ferentbecause
unli
ket heKri
sIwasoncebef or e..IwasKr isti
n,
amar riedwoman. .IwasKristin..Amot her.
Dadnev ermov edme, andGodknowshow
thankf
ul Iam.Ididn'tmoveinwithhim..
ok
may beIdidbutdadhadal r
eadyorgani
zedmea
newhousesui t
ableforthebabysobasical
l
y
Leahstay sthereandmet oosomet i
mesbut
mostoft het i
meI '
m usual
lyatBandil
eshouse.
Nobodyknowsaboutmebei ngmarri
edexpect
from LeahandBandi l
esf riends.Inev ert ol
d
anyonef rom home, Icoul dn't.
.Theywoul d
certainlytri
p.Phiwewasay earol dsincehe
wasbor nthepreviousy eari nJuneandnow
againwewer einJune.Iwasonmyhol iday,
varsit
yhadcl osedaweekbef or e.Iwasdoi ng
myt hirdy ear,
andi twaspr ettyhar dt r
yingt o
balancebei ngawi fe,amom, andast udentat
thesamet ime.Mom hadof fer edt otakecar eof
PhiwebutIcoul dn'thav et hat..notmybaby .She
stil
lcoul dn'tt
alkproper ly,justknewaf ew
wor ds,butmostoft het i
mei twasj ustbabyt alk
andshecoul dcrawl butwast ryi
ngsohar dto
standbutwasf ail
ing.Mma' Ny ar ahad
volunteer edtobecomehernannysomostof
thet i
meshe' swithherespeci all
ywhenI 'm at
school orwhereI '
m doi ngmyi nternshi
p.Al ex
wasschool i
nginAust rali
a,shehadpassedher
formf ivewi thfl
yingcol ours.Shehadwant edto
school i
nS. Asoshecanbecl oserwi thTshepi e
butmom anddadwer en'thear i
nganyofi t
.
Event houghshewassof arbutshel ovedit
there.Sam f inall
ymov edt oLondon, andy eshe
didgowi thhiscousi ngi r
lf
r i
end.Theywer est i
l
l
strongorsot osay .Goi ngbackt omeand
Bandi l
e..Thi ngsai n'talway sr oses,
sweet sand
i
cecr eam.Ther earet i
meswher ewewoul d
reall
yf i
ght ,thatsomet imesi tfeelsli
keitsall
comi ngt oanendbutweal way spullthrough.
Event houghhef uckst hingsupbutst i
llhe'
sst i
ll
thebest ,
andIl ovehi m mor eandmor ewi th
eachday .Somet i
mes, ont hegoodday s,
I
alway st hankGodf orgi vi
ngmesucha
wonder fulman.Apar tfrom bei ngthebest
partnerev erbutal sohesagoodf athertoour
pri
ncess.Thei rbondi sjustunbr eakable,i
tsjust
socut e.Thewayhel ov eshi sdaught erisjusta
turnonr egar dlessofwhat ev erhemaybe.Hes
sti
llat hugorgangst ershithe' salway sbeen
andt hatsomet imesscar esme.Whati foneday
hesenemi esj ustbr eakopenourdoor .Ihaven't
rai
sedt hei ssuet ohi m andI 'm notgoingt o
becauseIf eel heknowsbet ternowt hatt here'
s
Simphi wei nt hepi cture.Ifixedt hedoekIhad
usedasIdr essedupt ogomeetBandi l
esf amily.
2mont hsago, hehadmademepr omi sewe
woul dgoseehi smot her'ssi deoft hefami ly
becauseast hel astt i
met her ewasar euni on.I
hadr ef usedatf irstbutaf terl otofconv i
ncingI
hadagr eed.Whet herIl i
kei tornotonedayI
hav et omeett hem.Wewer ef l
yi
ngt oKZN.Thi s
holidayIwasn' tgoi nghomebecauseoft he
i
nter nship.Ihadonl ybeengi venoneweek
holidayandt woday sfrom t hatIwi l
lbeat
Bandi lesf ami lythent her estIwi l
l useitto
spendqual i
t ytimewi thmymi ni f
ami ly.Iwas
wear ingabl ackj umpsui tthathel dmybody
ti
ght l
yt henwi t
habl acklongj ackett hat
reachedbel owmyknees.I twasr eal l
ycol dsoI
j
usthadt odr essupwar mly .Iwal kedoutoft he
bathr oom get ti
ngi nsidet hebedr oom.Ihad
l
ay edPhi wei nt hemi ddleoft hebed, Mma' Nyara
washomef orherhol i
dayt oosoIwast aking
careofPhi wealone.Bandilehadgoneoutf ora
whi l
e,hadtomeetupwi t
hsomeone.Ipi cked
herupasshegi ggl
ed.Shej ustlovedbei ng
pickedup.Shewasr eall
ycute,Ijustl
ov edmy
baby .Aswewal keddownst air
sshewas
attempt i
ngtopullmydoeksoi heldhert i
ny
hands.Get t
ingdownst ai
rsIsawBandi lesitt
ing
ont hecouchbusyonhi sphonemeani ngbe
hadcameback.I mmedi atel
ywhenhesawme
heputhi sphoneinhi spocketandwal kedupt o
me.
Me:
youback.
.
Him:
yeah.
.howf
arar
eyou?Wehav
etol
eav
ein
45mi
nutes
Me:
Ij
usthav
etof
eedhert
henIwi
l
lbedone.
Het ookherf
rom meandstartedpl ay
ingwith
herasIpreparedherf
ood.Ihadst oppedgivi
ng
hermi l
k,
well
thatwasmom' sadvice.After
prepari
ngherfoodIwentbacktot hesitt
ing
room andBandil
ewasbusyplayingwi thher.
Me:
youwannaf
eedher
?
Hi
m:y
eah
Igav
ehim Phiwessmallpl
atethenwent
upst
air
stotakemybagandphi wesbag.AsI
di
dthatmyphoner anganditwasLeah.
Me:
hey
Her
:bae.
.
Me:
what
'
sup?
Her
:non.
..How'
smybaby
?
Me:
youdon'
tl
ovemeany
mor
e
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:ohwpl
ease!
Me:
Iwi
l
lcomehomewhenwecomeback
Her
:gr
eat
..
Me:
how'
sQ?
Her:
ok.
.hesmom st
il
lhat
esmebutIdontdont
gi
vetwof ucks!
Me:
that
sthespi
ri
t.
.Ihopet
heydon'
that
eme
Her:
evenift
heydo..
itdoesn'
tmat
ter
..Youwi
th
Bandi
lenotthem al
lasses!
Leahi
ssti
llthatl
oudgir
lImet3y
ear
sback.The
waywearesocl oseonewoul
dswearweare
bl
oodsist
ers.
Me:
that
smywhor
e!
Her:
yeahandohift
heycauseprobl
emsfor
you.
.cal
lme,
Icanbeapsychot
icwhoreonyour
behalf
Me:
Iwi
l
ldef
ini
tel
y
Her
:wheni
sthewhi
teweddi
ng?
Me:
youknowt
hedr
il
lLeah
Her:no.
.youjustdelay
ingallt
hisforno
par
ticul
arreason..Howabouty ousay
Decemberhepay syourbri
deprice?Then
Augusthavey ourwedding?
Me:
real
l
y?Onmybi
rt
hdaymont
h?
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:no.
.Sept
ember.
.Ihaveal
way
swant
eda
spr
ingweddingf
rom bi
rt
h
Shel
aughed.
.
Her:
yeah..
andmay
beweshoul
dlooki
naf
ew
venues.
.
Me:
mhhm.
.y
eahandal
sodesi
gner
..
Her
:yeahandt
het
heme
Ist
art
edl
aughi
ng.
.
Me:Ican'
tbel
i
evewedoingthi
sri
ghtnow.
.i
ts
sucks.
.l
ookwewil
ltal
kaft
erBandi
leandIt
alks
aboutit
Her
:youknowhewant
stowi
fei
tof
fi
cial
l
y
Me:
l
ookwewi
l
ltal
k..
Her
:ok.
.by
e
Me:
bye.
.
Ihungupandst
oodupf
rom t
hebed,
tur
ningI
sawBandi
lest
andi
ngbythedoorhol
dingwhat
l
ookedl
ikesl
eepi
ngPhi
we.
Hewasj
ustsmil
i
ng,nodoubthehear
dmy
st
upi
dconv
ersat
ionwi
thLeah.
Me:
i
sshesl
eepi
ng?
Henodded.
.
Me:
l
et'
sgo
Wewal kedtohiscar
,st
rappedPhiwenicel
yon
herbabyseatthenhedrovetotheai
rport.
Hi
m:Iwouldn'
tmi
ndhav
ingaweddi
ng
t
omorrow
Ilookedathim ashedrovei
nthenewcarhe
boughtfortheprevi
ousyearasathanky
ougif
t
forgivi
ngbirt
htoPhiwe.
Me:
youhav
etopayBr
idepr
ice
Hi
m:Icandot
hat
..
Me:
December
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:Decemberi
tis
Hehel dmyhand, squeezingitabit.Iguesshe
wasr elievedt hatatlasthewasgoi ngtodoi t
buteitherwayhehadwai tedlongenough.
3yearsai n'tnochi l
dplay.Therearemanyt imes
wecal leditqui ts,
toomanyt ears..
heartswhere
brokenbutwher emendedatt heendoft heday .
Goingagai nstmostofmypr i
ncipl
esf orhim,t
he
wayIj ustlov ehi m nodoubtIwi l
ldoany thi
ng
forhim.
.
LEAH
.
Iopenmyey essl owl yasIcheckedt hetest
resul
ts.Iclosedmyey esi
ndef eatthenslidet o
thefl
oor .Iwipedawayt hetearthathadr olled.I
wasst i
llinf
erti
le..Ihadbeenl ookingint
oway s
mywombcanbef ixedbutitsjustimpossi ble.
Notbeingabl et ogiveQachi l
dwasj ustki l
li
ng
me.Ist oodupatl astthenwalkedoutoft he
bedroom t hent hrewt hepaper sint hetrashbin.
Igoti ntheki tchen, t
ookoutmyi cecr eam and
start
edeat ing.AsIat emyi cecr eam Ibr owsed
throughonFacebookwher eIcameacr ossSam
andsomegi r
l.Whathappenedbet weenSam
andIwasj ustaonceof fthing.Ist i
lldont
under standwhyIdi ditinthef i
rstplacebutI
vowedt omy selft
hatnev erwi l
lIcheatonQ. I
t
wasact uallysurprisingthatQandIsur vived
thislong.Ihear dacarpul lov eroutsidemaki ng
mepeek.I twasQandKi m.Ki m andIt hisdays
wel i
keBFFs, thekidhadst artedliki
ngmeal lof
asuddenandi mr atherglad.Thoughshest il
l
hast hatat ti
tudebuti t
snotmuchany mor e.
Theywal kedi nafterawhi le,withoutev en
knocki ng.
Me:
youguy
sneedt
olear
ntoknock
Ki
m:nextt
ime.
.
Shecamet owardsmeandgavemeakisson
thecheekwhil
stQjustst
oodt
her
elooki
ngat
me.
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:Ki
m gi
veussomespacepl
ease.
.
Kim st
oodupandwal
kedawayl
eav
ingmewi
th
onl
yherbrot
her
.
Hi
m:whywher
eyoucr
ying?
Ichuckl
ed.
Me:
me?
cry
?
Hi
m:y
es
Hewalkedt
owar
dsmecl
osi
ngt
hegape
bet
weenus.
Me:
Iwasn'
tcr
ying
Hi
m:sowhyar
eyourey
esr
ed?
Me:
Ihav
eaheadache
Hi
m:y
oupr
ett
ygoodatdoi
ngt
hisai
n'
tyou?
Me:
Qui
ncypl
ease!
Hel
ookedatmewi
thar
aisedey
ebr
owt
henput
theplast
icshewashol di
ngandwal kedout.I
stoodupandf ol
l
owedhi m outsi
debutget t
ing
outsi
dehewasal readydri
vi
ngaway .Quickl
yI
gotbackinthehouseandwi thshakinghands
call
edhim.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:
I'
m sor
rypl
easecomeback
Hi
m:I
'
m notsomet
hingyy
oucancont
rol
Me:
Iknowandi
m sor
ry.
.
Hi
m:It
hinky
ouneedsomespace
Me:
space?
Hi
m:t
othi
nkt
hingst
hrough
Me:
no.
.Idontneedspace.
.pl
easeI
'
m sor
ry.
.
Hi
m:wewi
l
ltal
k..
Ilov
eyou
Thenhehungup. .Sl
owlyIplacedthephone
down.Icoul
dn'ttel
lhi
mt hatIwenttodomor e
test
.Hewouldn'thavel
ikedit.
.IknowbutIj
ust
hadtodoit.
.Isatonthestool.
Ki
m:hey
..
youok?
Me:
yeah.
.wannagoshoppi
ng?
Ki
m:obv
iousl
ybuty
ougood?
Me:y
eah..
justaheadache,
Ithi
nkIneedt
otake
anap..
Ki
m:ohhok.
.pl
usei
therwayIhav
etomeetup
wi
thmyfri
ends
Me:
ok.
.l
etmegett
hecr
edi
tcar
d
Iwentupst
air
stomyroom,t
ookmycreditcar
d
thenwal
kedbackdownst
air
sandgav
ei ttoher.
.
Me:
pleasedon'
tki
l
lme
Icoul
dseet
heexci
tementonherf
ace.
.
Her
:IswearIwon'
t
..
Shekissedmyf acealloverthenof
fshewas
gone.Kim andmoney .
.theyareonthesame
WhatsAppgr oupItel
lyou.
WhenshewasgoneIwalkedtomyroom,t
hen
r
eachedf
rom undert
hebedthebot
tl
eofwineI
keptt her ei
ncasesofmoment slikethis.Idr
ank
mywhol elif
eaway ,atleastforaf ewhour sthe
alcohol mademef eelbetter.Somewher e
aroundl astyearQsuspect edIhadsome
probl em withalcohol butImanagedt oconv i
nce
him ot herwise.Ihadqui tefor2f ull
mont hs,wit
houttouchi ngasi nglebottl
eof
alcohol butt odayi
twasj usttoomuch.Nobody
knowsaboutmydr inking,Ineverwantt oshow
Kris..becauseIknowshewoul djustfreak.I
thinkIpassedoutbutwaki ngup. .
Iwokeupi na
bat htubf ul
lofwater ,
coldwat erandQwas
seat edbyt heedgeoft hebat htublookingat
me. .
Hi
m:soy
ounowdr
ink?
Me:
no.
.I
..
Igotupfr
om t
het ubthent
ookoffmycl
othes
andcover
edmy selfwi
thatowel
.
.
Me:
i
twasj
ust
..
aonceof
f.
.
It
ri
edt
owal
kfur
therbutmyl
egsj
ustf
elt
wobbl
y.
Hi
m:t
hesamewayy
ousai
dlastt
ime
Me:
Q..
babe
Hi
m:donty
oudar
e!
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Him:Leahdoy
ouhav
eadr
inki
ngpr
obl
em?Yes
orno!
Me:
Q..
Hi
m:YesorNo!
Her
oar
edmaki
ngmej
umpal
i
ttl
e..
Myheartwasbeat
ingf
ast
,Icoul
dfeel
myey
es
getwet
..
Hi
m:don'
teventhinkaboutcr
ying.
.Your
cr
ocodi
let
earsain'tgoi
ngtohelpyou.
.soy
ou
ar
eadrunkard?Huh?
Me:
no.
.pl
ease.
.I'
m sor
ry
Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dshi
m.
Hi
m:don'
t!
stayt
her
e
Istoppedonmytracks,
feel
i
ngdefeat
ed..My
tearswerej
ustal
lovermyface,
Iwasjusta
mess.
Hi
m:ar
eyouev
enwor
thi
t?
Me:
yesplease.
.Ij
ust
..
Iwi
l
lgof
orr
ehabi
l
itat
ion.
.
Iwi
l
lgethelp
Hi
m:wher
esmysi
ster
?
Me:she.
.Igav
ehermycar
d..
sheshoul
dbeback
bynow
Hi
m:youdidwhat
?Leahhowcoul
dyoubeso
i
rr
esponsi
ble?
HewalkedasIf
oll
owedbehi
ndhi
m,t
ryi
ngt
o
cat
chup..
Hestar
tedmaki
ngphonecal
l
sasIj
ustst
ood
t
here.
Hi
m:i
fany
thi
nghappenst
omysi
stery
ou.
.-
"
I'
m back"Ki
m scr
eamedasshegoti
nsi
det
he
househol
dingal
otofpl
ast
icbags.
Q:
i
nthecarnow!
Hescr eamedatKim.Sheplacedmycar
ddown
thenwal kedoutwi
thconf
usionwri
tt
enal
lov
er
herface.
Him:
Ineverwantt
oseeyouagai
n..I'
m not
goi
ngtoassoci
atemysel
fwi
thadr unkar
d
Me:
Qpl
ease.
.BabeI
'
m beggi
ngy
ou
Iknel
tdownbef
orehi
m..
Me:
please.
.Iwi
l
lgethel
p
Hi
m: wewi
llt
alkt
henbutatt
hemomentI
'
m
l
eavi
ngyou
Me:
no!
pleaseno!
Hest
art
edwal
ki
ngaway
..
Me:
i
fyoul
eav
eI'
m goi
ngt
ohur
tmy
sel
f!
Isai
dal
readyst
andi
ngup.
.
Het
urnedandl
ookedatme.
.
Hi
m:Iseeal
cohol
ismessi
ngwi
thy
ourbr
ain!
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
ohur
tmy
sel
fify
oul
eav
eQ.
.
Hi
m:youar
epat
het
ic!Youhav
easer
ious
pr
obl
em..
Hewalkedoutandaf
terawhi
l
eIhear
dhi
scar
dr
iveaway.
.
Itact
ual
l
yclickedi
nmymindthatIhadusedt
he
samesentencemydadusedeveryti
memom
wouldwanttoleav
ehi
m..
"
Leav
eandIwi
l
lki
l
lmy
sel
fJul
i
et"
Itookadeepbr eat
h..Iwasbecominga
drunkar
djustl
ikehim.Iwasturni
ngint
ohi
m
andIhatedit
.
Iwalkedupst
air
stomyphonet hencalledmom..
Herphoneledmest r
aighttovoicemail
..It
ri
ed
Kri
s'snumberbutbeforeIcoul
dpr esscall
I
thr
ewmyphoneagai nstthewall andit
shutt
eredtopi
eces.
Icoul
dn'
ttakei
tany
mor
e,t
hat
showi
tsal
way
s
l
ike.Thepeopl ewhoal way shav emybackend
upl eav ingmet henIwoul df eel allalone.I
wal keddownst airs,aroundt hehousel ooking
forsomet hi ng,somet hi
ngt ouse.Fi nallyIcame
acrosssomepi lls,i
nKr i
s'
sr oom.Shehadl otof
pill
st hatshedr ankespeci all
yaf terthesur gery.
Itookt hem al l
,
incl udi
nghermi grainest hen
wal kedwi t
ht hem t othekitchen.Ipour edwat er
i
nagl asst hent ookt hefirstpillsandempt i
ed
alloft hem i nmyhand.Iputt hem al l i
nmout h
thenswal lowedt hem wi thwat er .AsIempt ied
theot heronesonmyhead, av oicespoke
freakingmeoutt hattheyallspi l
ledont hef l
oor.
"
Thef
uck!
"Il
ookedback,
hewasback.
Me:
youcameback.
.
Hi
m:whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:
youlef
t,
you.
..
youdontwantt
oputupwi
th
mybur
denandIunderst
and
Hewalkedtowardsmeanddr
aggedme
t
owardshim,andhuggedmet
ight
ly.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Ifoundmy selfsobbi
nginhisarms..Hewas
ri
ght,hedidn'thavetoassociat
ehimselfwi
tha
drunkard.Ipul l
edoutfr
om hisarmsaftera
while..
Me:
I'
m notwor
thi
t
Isai
dfi
ght
ingt
hel
umponmyt
hroat
..
Me:
I'
m notwor
thi
t.
.Ihav
enev
erbeen.
.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.
Me:
dontbe.
.i
tst
het
rut
h..
I'
m notwor
thi
t
Hi
m:y
ouar
ewor
thev
erymi
nut
eLeah
Me:
I'
m not
..
I'
m not
Him:y
ouare,Il
oveyouthatever
ythi
ngyouaf
fect
mebadly.
.Youwi l
lgethel
pandIwi l
lbewi
th
youever
ystepoftheway .
.I
'
m notgoing
anywher
e..
Hehuggedmeagai
ninassur
ance.
.
.
SAM
.
Ilookedathersleep,
shesti
l
l wasbeauti
fuleven
i
nhersl eep.Igotup,
woremyPJbot tomst hen
tookmyphoneandwal kedtothesit
ti
ngr oom.I
call
eddad.Heanswer edafterawhil
e..
Hi
m:son!
Me:
Iwantt
ogetmar
ri
ed
Hi
m:t
oyourr
elat
ive?
Inev
ertol
dhi
m,I
'
m sur
ehef
igur
edt
hatoutf
or
hi
mself
..
Me:whi
teweddi
ngi
fIcan'
tgett
het
radi
ti
onal
par
t
Hi
m:y
oucan'
tmar
rymyni
eceSam
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
o..
I'
mjustgoi
ngt
ogot
ocour
t
Hi
m:Samuel
!
Me:
tel
lmom.
.i
tsy
ourchoi
cet
oshowupornot
ThenIhungup,
marry
ingTi
nai
swr
ongbutt
hen
l
oveknowsnocolour.
If
eltwar
m handsonmyback.Shewashuggi
ng
mef r
om behi
nd.
Her
:hey
Me:
hey
Her
:mom i
sgoi
ngt
ofl
i
p
Me:
shewi
l
lgetov
eri
t
It
urnedar
oundandl
ookedather
,shewasi
nmy
T-
shir
t.
Her
:yeah.
.
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:canIwearagownt
ocour
t?
Me:
wecanhaveapr operweddi
ngbutj
ust
f
ri
endsandofcausemysister
s
Her
:whataboutBandi
l
e..Youknowhehat
esmy
f
amily
Me:helovesmysist
ertoomuchtot
hinkof
hur
tinganyoneat
tachedtoher
Her
:ok.
.ni
ghtshi
ftagai
n?
Me:
yeahbutt
hisi
smyl
astday
..
Dadhadgi
venuphi
sbusi
nessinLondont
ome
soIwasj
ustgoi
ngt
ostar
trunni
ngit.
Her
:t
hat
sbet
ter
..
plusImi
ssy
ou
Shesai
dwr
appi
ngherar
msar
oundmykneck.
Ti
nawasabitshor
tert
hanmebuti
fshest
ands
onhert
oesshebecomesast
all
asme..
Shekissedme, IkissedherbackasIpi ckedher
upsoshewr apsherl egsar oundmywai st
.If
anythi
ngIdidn'tregr etTina.Rel atedornotI
l
ov eherandt hat
sal lthatmat ters.Justthen
therewasaknock, Itri
edt oi gnorebutthe
personwasjustsoper si
stent.Annoy edIplaced
Tinadownthenwal kedt ot hedoor .Opening
i
t,somedude, wasatmydoorst ep.
Me:
yeah?
Hi
m:hi
,
ist
hisTi
na'
sresi
dence?
Me:
yeah.
.howcanIhel
pyou?
Justt
henTi
nast
oodbesi
desme,
nowwear
inga
gown.
Her
:ohhbabet
hisi
stheguyIt
oldy
ouabout
Me:
when?
Her
:who'
sdoi
ngt
hepai
nti
ng!
Me:
ohh
Her
:sor
ry.
.Hesl
i
ket
his.
.
Sheapol
ogi
zed.
.
Me:
mxm
Iwalkedbackinthehouseleavingherwit
hthe
dude.Aft
erawhi l
eshecamebackhol di
ngthe
pai
ntingIguess.I
twasapai nt
ingofmeandher .
Shewant edtohangiti
nthehouse.
Her
:youwer
erude.
.
Me:
hedi
stur
bed
Shejustshookherheadt
henst
artedany
lasi
ng
thepaint
ing.Hewasgoodnodoubt.
.
Her
:Venusr
eal
l
yout
didhi
msel
f
Me:
who?
Her
:Venus.
..
.
KRI
S
.
Yester daywhenwel andedwedidn'
tdrivethere
i
mmedi at
ely
, wehungaroundandsleptata
hotel.Thent odaywewokeupEar l
yandst arted
dri
vingt owher ev
erwewer edr
ivi
ngto.Phiwe
wasatt hebackseatsayi
ngwhatsheonl y
under stood.
Me:
Iv
yandEnhl
ear
eal
readyt
her
e?
Hi
m:yeah.
.don'
twor
ryi
ftheydontl
i
key
ouwe
wi
llj
ustl
eave
Inodded.
.
Iwasr eall
yner vous.Ilayedmyheadback
closingmyey es.Fal
li
ngasl eepwasj ustsohard.
UnlikemePhi weslept,
shej ustseemed
peacef ul.Arri
v i
ngthere,heparkedinfrontofa
bigbeaut i
fulhouse,i
tlookedl i
keithadbeen
renov ated.Itwassobi g, I
'
m sureitcanev enget
upt o10r ooms.
Me:
suchabi
ghouse!
Hi
m:Gr
andmahadmanychi
l
dren
Me:
had?
Hi
m:yeah..
somepassedawaybuther
gr
andchi
ldrenal
waysfi
l
lsi
tup
Me:
howmanydi
dshehav
e?
Hi
m:16
Me:
16?
Henodded.
.
Me:
Wow!I
sshest
il
lal
i
ve?
Hi
m:y
eahbuti
sver
yol
d..
shehashear
ing
probl
emssowheny
out
alkpl
easer
aisey
our
voice
Inodded.
.
Me:whydidn'
tyouguy
scomeher
ewheny
our
f
atherpassedon?
Hi
m:grandpaisntmymom'sFat
her
..Hewas
st
il
lal
i
v ebythenandhat
edmom withpassi
on
Inodded,
her
eal
l
ydi
dgot
hroughal
otaty
oung
age.
.
Heki
ssedmycheek.
.
Him:butweareovert
hat.
.i
tsi
nthepastandifi
t
everhappenst
hatIdi
e..
youandPhiwewill
be
verymuchprotect
ed
Me:
Idontwanty
out
odi
e
Hechuckledthenpull
edmei nforadeepki ss.
Af
terpull
ingouthefinal
lypressedthehoot er
st
arti
ngthecaragain.Thegat esli
dedthenhe
dr
ovein.Thehousewasr eal
lybeautif
ul.There
werepeopleoutsi
de.Myhear tstart
edbeat i
ng
r
eal
l
yfast
.
Hi
m:don'
twor
ry,
j
ustst
ickwi
thme
HesaidashegotoutandsodidI .Ev
eryone'
s
eyeswereonusnow.Het ookPhiwethenheld
myhandaswewal kedtowardsthepeople.
Someguywalkeduptous..
Hi
m:whoam i
seei
ng?
Bandi
l
echuckl
edatt
heguy
..
Ndi
l
e:Vusi
!
Bandi
legavemePhi
wewhonowwas
awake,
herbigey
esr
oamedar
ound.
Theydi
dahandshake.
.
Vusi
:
andwho'
sthi
sbeaut
if
ult
hingher
e?
Hesai
dlooki
ngatme.
.
Ndil
e:t
hisi
smywi
feandbabet
hisi
smycousi
n,
Vusi
.
Vusi
:
nicet
omeety
ou
Me:
l
ikewi
se.
.
Justthenaguywhol
ookedl
i
ket
hisVusi
charact
ercame.
Ndi
l
e:andt
hat
'shi
sbr
otherVuy
o
Inodded.
.
Vuy
o:y
eahi
m Vuy
oyouar
e?
Vusi
:
Bandi
l
eswi
fe
Vuyo:heki
ll
edi
tthi
sti
mear
ound.
.Andt
hat
s
yourdaught
er?
Hesai
dtaki
ngPhi
wewhost
art
edcr
ying
i
mmediat
ely
.
Hegav
eherback.
.
Vusi
:
whyar
eyoupi
nchi
ngt
hebaby
?
Ndi
l
echuckl
ed.
.
Ndi
l
e:Gr
andmai
n?
Vuy
o:y
eah.
.
Wewal
kedi
nleav
ingt
hem t
her
e.Get
ti
ngi
nsi
de
thehousemyey eslandedonSabr i
na.Shegave
met helookbutIcoul
dn'tcar
eless.All
Iknew
wast hatIwant
edherfarfrom myman.She
smil
edwal ki
ngtowardsus.
Her
:Bandi
l
e..Kr
is
Me:
Sabr
ina
Her
:i
sthaty
ourbaby
?
Me:
yes
Her
:canIpl
easet
ouchher
Bandi
l
egaveheral
ook,
eit
herwayIwasn'
t
goi
ngtogi
vehermychi
ld.
Her
:I
'm notgoi
ngt
odoany
thi
ngt
oher
Ndil
ecl
ickedhistounge,
thenwewal
kedaway
tosomeroom.Ther ewasanoldwomanlayi
ng
ther
ebutbesideshershewaswit
hIvyand
someotherlady.I
vysmil
edassoonasshesaw
me.
I
vy:
Makot
i
Ismi
ledasshewal
kedupt
omeandt
ook
Phi
we.
I
vy:
I'
m gl
ady
oucame.
.Andi
l
e
Ndi
l
e:how'
sshe?
I
vy:
shesok.
.
Theot
herl
adycamet
owar
dsus.
I
vy:
thi
sismysi
sterandt
hisi
smymakot
i
Theot
herl
adysmi
l
edgi
vi
ngmeahandshake.
.
Her
:ni
cet
omeety
ou
Me:
l
ikewi
se
Theywalkedoutwi
thI
vyandPhi
webutIcoul
d
senseshewantedt
ocry.
.
Wewalkedtothebedwher egrannywas
sl
eepi
ng.Bandi
lesoft
lypatherhandsoshe
wakesup.Sheopenedhereyes,thensmi
l
ed.
..
Her
:Bandi
l
e..
Bandi
l
esmi
l
edwi
thhert
henhel
pedherseat
upr
ight
.
Her
:youar
ebi
g
Andi
le:ummhGogo, t
hisismy
gi
rl
fr
iend,
Letl
hogonol
o,andbabet
hisi
smy
gr
andmot her
Her
:hai
bo.
.she'
sbeaut
if
ul.
.Gi
veussomespace
Bandi
l
ewal
kedoutl
eav
ingmewi
thgr
andma.
.
Her
:howar
eyoumydaught
er?
Ir
aisedmyv
oice.
.
Me:
I'
m goodandy
ou?
Shesmi
l
edmaki
ngmesmi
l
ewi
thher
..
Her
:I
'm goodnowt
hatIhav
efi
nal
l
ysawy
ou.
.
Ismi
l
ednotknowi
ngwhatt
osay
..
.
Her
:youar
etheonef
orhi
m
Ij
usthel
dherhand.Af
terawhi
l
eBandi
l
ecame
backwit
hPhiwe.
.
Hi
m:Gogot
her
eisy
ourgr
eatgr
anddaught
er.
.
Hesaidgiv
ingGr
annyPhi
we.Shedi
dn'
tseem
r
elax
ed,assoonasshesawmeshewasj ust
f
ight
ingtocometome.
Her
:shesbeaut
if
ull
i
kehermot
her
Myf
acebur
nt.
..
Shegav
emePhi
weasshest
art
edt
ocr
y.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgi
vey
ouspace
Isai
dwal
ki
ngout
..
IwalkedtooutsidesoIcanchangeherdiaper
.
Getti
ngoutsi
demyey escameint
ocontactwith
Enhles.ShewalkeduptomeasIpl acedPhiwe
atthebackseatsoIchangeher.
Enhl
e:hey
Me:
hey
Enhl
e:heySi
mphi
we.
.
Shesai
dhol
dinghert
inyhand.
.
Enhl
e:wher
e'sBandi
l
e?
Me:
i
nsi
dewi
thgr
anny
..
Shenodded.
..
Aft
erchangingSimphiwesdiaperEnhl
etook
advantageandtookher.If
oll
owedherasshe
walkedtosomegi r
ls.
.pr
obablyabitol
derthan
me..
Enhl
e:ummhthi
sar
emycousins.
.Youdont
real
l
yhavet
oknowthei
rnames
Theot
heroner
oll
edherey
es.Justt
henSabr
ina
came.
.
Sabr
ina:
Ivyi
scal
l
ingy
ou
Shesai
dpoi
nti
ngatEnhl
e..
Enhl
est
oodup.
.
Enhl
e:l
et'
sgoKr
is
Igotupandwal
kedawaywi
thher
.
Get
ti
ngi
nsidet
heki
tchenI
vyandhersi
ster
wer
ebusy.
I
vy:
hiKr
is
Me:
goodmor
ningMa
I
vy:
mor
ning.
.Iwanty
ougi
rl
sto.
.-
Shewascutshor
tbyBandi
l
e..
Andi
l
e:MacanIpl
easet
alkt
oKr
isf
oraf
ew
I
vy:
buty
ouar
eal
way
swi
thher
Enhl
elaughed.
.
Enhl
e:hesabi
gbaby
Andi
l
e:mxm.
.babe.
.asec
Iwalkedtowar
dshi
mthenhel
edmet
othi
s
otherroom.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Hegav
ehesphone,
itseemedl
i
kei
twasacal
l
..
Me:
hel
l
o?
Cal
l
erI
D:hey
..
it
sme
Me:
Leah.
.
Her
:I
'm goi
ngf
orr
ehab
Me:
rehab?
Her
:It
hinkI
'
m adr
unkar
d
Me:
youwentt
othedoct
oragai
ndi
dn'
tyou?
Her
:Ij
usthadt
o
Me:
Leahhowmanyt
imesdoIhav
etot
ell
you
t
ostopi
t?
Leah:
Im sor
ry
Me:
whenar
eyougoi
ng?
Her
:soon.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryI
'
m nott
her
e
Her:
i
tsok..
heari
ngy
ourv
oicei
sst
il
l
comfor
tabl
e..
Ismi
l
edt
hengav
eBandi
l
esphoneback.
.
Hecl
osedt
hegapebet
weenus.
.
Hi
m:wecanal
way
shav
eaqui
cki
e
Me:
ever
yonei
sher
e,wecant
-
Hesi
l
encedmebyhi
scol
dli
psonmi
ne,
andhi
s
handsrubbi
ngmybacksl
owlyunt
ilIf
eltt
he
Afr
icanpri
ntdr
essIwaswear
ingf
alldownto
myf eet
.
.
Stayingwi t
htheext endedf ami l
ywasf unbut
notev eryoneli
kedme.Somehat edmeand
somer eall
yli
kedme.Thedaywhenwef i
nall
y
hadt oleaveIwasr atherhappy .Wel eftearl
yin
themor ni
ng,Phiwewasst il
lsleepi ng.Ar r
ivi
ng
homeIwasexhaust ed,al
lIneededwast hebed.
Ireti
redt obedwhenwear riv
edl eav ingAndi l
e
withhi scryi
ngdaught er
.WhenIf i
anal l
ywoke
upBandi l
ehadhi sar msaroundmet ightl
yas
alway s.Myheadwasonhi sbar echest .Softl
yI
kissedhi schest,
justthenLeahcamebacki n
mymi nd.Rehabilit
ation?Ifel
tlikeIhadbeen
i
gnor antonher .IkissedBandi l
esl ipssohe
wakesup.
Me:
Iwantt
opee
Hi
m:ok
Heletgoofme.Iwalkedoutoft
hebedroom
hol
dingmyphonethenwentdownstai
rs.I
cal
l
edher.
Her
:hel
l
o
Me:
hey
..
howar
eyou?
Her
:I
'mf
ine.
.
Me:
real
l
y?
Her
:I
'mj
ustabur
denai
n'
tI?
Me:no.
.don'
tsaythi
ngsl
i
ket
hat
..
youar
e
st
rongerthanthat
Her
:I
'm adr
unkar
dKr
is!
Me:youjusthaveaprobl
em andy ouhav e
acceptedyourprobl
em,andyouget t
inghelp.
.do
youknowhowmanypeopl estr
ugglet omake
thatdeci
sion?Youarestr
ongerthany outhi
nk.
Her
:youal
way
smanaget
omakemef
eel
bet
ter
Me:
Iwi
l
lcomebyl
ater
Her
:ok
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Her
:Il
ovey
oumor
e
Ihungup.I
twaslat
eIhadtostartdi
nner
.Iwent
tothef
ri
dge,br
owsingt
hrough.
"
Hey
"Bandi
l
esai
dmaki
ngmet
urn.
.
Me:
hey
..
Hi
m:I
'
mtaki
ngy
ouguy
soutt
oni
ght
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
ohok
Hecamet owardsmethenheldmebymywai st
.
Moment sl
aterhewasdevouri
ngmyli
ps,
aft
era
whil
ehepull
edoutandjustthent
her
ewasa
knock.
Me:
Iwi
l
lgeti
t
Iwal
kedt
othedoor
,If
rozeasmyey
esmetmy
dad'
s.
Ndi
l
:babewhoi
sit
?
Hesai dcomingt
owardsme.It hi
nkhesawmy
dadashewaswr appi
nghisarmsaroundme
from behi
nd.Hesbodygottenseforawhi
le
ther
e.
Dad:
am Inotgoi
ngt
ocomei
n?
.
Weallsataroundthet
abl
easweate.Wel
lIj
ust
keptmy sel
foccupi
edf
eedi
ngPhi
we.Ihadto
cookdinner.
Dad:
pri
ncess.
.Cany
ougi
vemeandy
our
boyf
ri
endspacesowet
alk
Me:
space?
Dad:
yes.
.
Isodidn'twanttoleavethem alone..But
Bandil
egav emeal ookt hatsentmest anding
up.IwalkedupstairswithPhiwe.Ijusthoped
thatdaddoesn'tthreat
enhim.Ibat hedmybaby
thentuckedherinasshesl eptinhernursery.
Iwal
kedbackt
othebedr
oom.Tookabat
hand
wai
tedf
orhi
m.Hecameaf
terawhi
l
e..
Hi
m:y
oust
il
lawake?
Me:
mhhm
Hewalkedtothebat
hroom,t
ookabat
hthen
cameback.Iwassti
l
lsit
tedint
hesame
posi
ti
on.
Hi
m:I'
m nottel
li
ngyouanythi
ngsoI
'
m goi
ngt
o
makemadl ovetoy
ourightnow.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
FI
NALI
NSERT
¥PART1¥
LEAH
.
.
Beingint hesamer oom wi thpeopl ewhohada
problem likemi ne, mademef eelbet ter.The
factthatIwasn' ttheonl yonewi thapr oblem
madei tal lfeelbet t
er.Notoncebef orehav e
everthoughtofmy selfinasi tuationl i
ke
thi
s,attendingAAmeet ings.Thef irstmont h
washar d,accept i
ngt hatIdohav eapr oblem
waswor se.Thef actthatIhadsuppor t
,from Q
andKr iswasj ustov erwhel ming.Iev enmadea
newf riend,Dintl
e, shewasj usthav i
ngt hesame
problem asmi nebutherr easonswer ejust
deepert hanmi ne.Younev erknowany one's
painunt ilyouhav ewal kedi ntheirshoes.Ihav e
beenat t
endi ngthismeet i
ngsf or3mont hs
now, t
hef ir
stmont hwasr eall
yhar dt hatIonly
attendedt wi cethent hesecondt hat swhenI
adjusted,wemeett wiceperweek.Ij ustloveit
therebecauseIcanact uall
ytalkaboutt hewayI
feelwithouthesi tatingbecauseof
embar rassment .Iwal kedoutoft hebui ldi
ng
withDi ntl
ebesi desme, wel lIcallherDi di
becauseIf
indi
thar
dsomet
imest
opr
onounce
hername.
Her
:I
'm goi
ngt
omymot
her
sgr
avet
oday
..
Me:
doy
out
hinky
our
eady
?
Shesi
ghedheav
il
y.
.
Her
:Imi
ssher
Me:
Iknow
Her
:Ishoul
dhav
ebeent
her
eforher
..
Me:
hey
..
Ist
oppedthenhuggedher,
appar
entl
yher
motherdi
edinatragi
cacci
dentri
ghtint
hespot
.
Her
:I'
m sor
ry.
.
Shepull
edoutwhi
l
ecl
umsi
l
ywi
pingof
fher
tear
s.
Me:
dontbe.
.
Her
:yourf
ri
endi
sher
e..
Il
ookedwher
eshewasl
ooki
ngatKr
ishad
al
readypar
kedhercar.Ihadpromi
sedhert
hat
we'dhavealadi
esouttoday,
toget
her
.Ismi
led.
.
Me:
wannacat
chal
i
ft?
Her
:nah.
.mysi
steri
swai
ti
ngf
orme
Inoddedthenhuggedheronel
astt
imebef
ore
rushi
ngtoKris.
Get
ti
ngi
nthecarIhuggedher
..
Her
:hey
!
Me:
hi,
hey
..
nicehai
rst
yle
Shepl
ait
edsomebl
uebr
aidst
hatwentwel
l
wit
hherski
ncol
our
.
Her
:Iknow.
.Any
way
swegoi
ngwher
e?
Me:
Ithoughty
ouhadapl
an
Her
:Idontunf
ort
unat
ely
..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
let
'sj
ust
..
Idontknow.
.Gof
oradr
ive
Her
:ni
cepl
an.
.l
et'
sgo
Shestart
edthecar,i
twasaround1700hr
s.She
droveti
l
litwasreal
l
ydarkandthatswhenshe
pull
edupatsomehouse.
Me:
who'
shousei
sthi
s?
Her
:Bandi
l
es.
.
Shegotoutoft hecar,If
oll
owedherandst ood
behindherasshepr essedtheintercom.Af t
era
whileofwaiti
ngtherewithnor esponseIwas
start
ingt
oreallygetscared.Imeani twas
around2000hrsandwewer est andinginfr
ont
ofahouset hatisi
nt hemiddleofnowher e.
Me:
Ithi
nkmay
beweshoul
dgo
Her
:justami
nut
e
Me:
doesany
oneev
enst
ayher
e?
Her
:yeah.
.
Justt
hensomeguycame,
i
tseemedl
i
kehewas
sl
eepi
ng.
Hi
m:Mam.
.
Hesai
dopeningthegat
ewitharemote.We
wal
kedbacktothecart
hendrov
einsi
de.
Get
ti
ngout,
theguywasalr
eadybesi
desthecar
.
Hi
m:goodev
eni
ngMam.
.
Hesai
dtoKr
is,
whoj
ustsmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:Musa?
Hel
aughedsof
tl
y.
.
Hi
m:Mazwi
Mam
Her
:yesMazwi
..
ummhi
sitoki
fyoul
etusi
n?
Hi
m:y
es
Hegaveust
hekey
swhi
chwer
eat
tachedt
othe
r
emote.
Kr
is:
Thanky
ou
Hi
m:any
time.
.
HethenwalkedawayasKr
iswal
kedtothefr
ont
door
.Sheunlockedt
henwegoti
n.Thehouse
wasclean.
Me:
i
tsbeaut
if
ul
Her
:Iknowr
ight
..
Me:
arewesl
eepi
ngher
e?
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
whataboutPhi
we?
Her
:she'
swi
thmom r
emember
..
Me:
oh.
.If
orgotshewast
akenl
astweek
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:yeah.
.sowesl
eepi
ngher
etoni
ght
..
Shesaidwalki
ngaround.Itext
edQ,
eversince
hefoundouthesbeenactingli
kemythir
ddad.
Hedidn'
ttaketi
met ocal
l.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:wher
eexact
lyar
eyousl
eepi
ng?
Me:Bandi
l
eshouset
hat
shour
sawayf
rom
home
Hi
m:y
ouwi
thKr
is?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:ok.
.Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:canIpl
easet
alkt
oKr
is?
Me:
I'
m notdr
inki
ngQ
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tsayy
ouar
e
Me:
youdi
dn'
thav
eto.
.
Iwal
kedtoKri
sandgaveherthephonet
hen
wal
kedtothecouchandsatdown.
Kr
iscameaf
terawhi
l
e..
Her
:he'
str
yingt
obesuppor
ti
ve
Me:
byal
way
sact
ingt
hewayhedoes?
Her
:yes,
hewoul
dn'
tdoi
tifhedi
dn'
tcar
e
Me:
ohhr
eal
l
y?Hedoesn'
ttr
ustme!
Her
:cal
m down.
.
Me:
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
out
aki
nghi
ssi
de
Her
:I
'm not
..
I'
mjust
..
God.
.Leah!
Me:I
'
m gett
inghel
p..
thatshoul
dcountbutI
'
m
bei
ngtr
eatedli
kesomeonewhocan' tst
ayaway
fr
om al
cohol.
.
Her
:youar
ereal
l
yov
err
eact
ing
Me:
real
l
y?
Her
:It
hinky
ouneedt
orest

Il
ookedather
,shewascal
m asalway
sbutI
coul
dtel
lshewasgett
ingannoy
ed.
Me:
im-
Her
:bed.
.come
Shesaidwal
ki
ngupstai
rs.Wewal
kedint
oa
coupl
eofroomsunt
ilshefi
nal
l
yfoundaroom.
Her
:wewi
l
lsl
eept
oget
herher
e..
Shewal
kedt
othebedt
aki
ngof
fhershoes.
.
Wel
ayi
nthebedst
arr
ingi
ntodar
kness.
Her
:howwasy
ourday
?
Me:
ok.
.
Wewentsi
l
entf
orawhi
l
ether
e..
Her
:yourmom cal
l
ed
Me:
whatdi
dshewant
?
Her:
shesay
syounotanswer
inghercal
l
s.She
wantst
otal
ktoyou
Me:
Iwi
l
lcal
lher
Her
:pr
omi
se?
Me:
promi
se
.
KRI
S
.
Thefoll
owingdayIwokeupear l
y,Bandi
l
edi
dn'
t
cal
lyester
daysoIdidn'tknowi
fhewasupset
ornotaboutmesleepinghere.
Iwalkedinsi
dethebathr
oom andl ucki
l
yt he
bathi
ngequipmentswerethere.It
ookaqui ck
showerthendressedinmyy est
erdaysclothes.
Getti
ngbackinsidet
heroom IwokeLeahup.
Her
:j
ustasec
Me:
wakeup.
.weneedt
ogethome
Her
:God!
Shewokeupandst agger edar oundbef ore
fi
nallyfi
ndi
ngt hebat hroom.Asshebat hedI
tookmyphone, andswi t
chedi ton.Ihadf ought
withBandileyesterday.He'sal way st r
av el
l
inga
l
ott hi
sdays,nevermakest imef ormeorhi s
chil
d.YesterdaywhenIgotbackf r
om wor khe
tol
dmehehadt ogot oAust r
al i
af oraweekbut
j
ustaweekbef orehewasi nBr azil
.Iknowand
under st
andthefactt hathest ryingt oputf ood
onthet abl
ebutsomet i
mesi tjustget st oo
much.Swi tchi
ngi tonsur pri
singl ytherewasno
callfr
om him.Justat ext.
.
"
Ilov
eyou"
Ifeltl
ikesmashingthephoneagainstt
hewal l
.I
satdownandwai t
edforLeah.SometimesIjust
wonderi ft
hisishowit'
sgoingtobewhen...
we
offici
all
ygetmarri
ed.Leahwalkeddownstai
rs
afterawhile.
Me:
ready
?
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
l
et'
sgo
Iwal
kedoutsidetothecar.Mazwiwasal
ready
out
side,
doi
ngcl eani
ngtheyard.I
twasfr
eezing
out
sidesoIrushedovertohim.
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:Mam
Me:
take,
wear
egoi
ng
Hi
m:ok,
saf
ejour
ney
..
Ismil
edhandinghimthekey
saf t
eropeni
ngthe
gat
e.Irushedbacktomycarthendroveaway.
Thejourneybackhomewasjustqui
te,
Iwasjust
caughtupi
nmyownt
hought
s.
Leah:
youknowy
oucanal
way
stal
ktomer
ight
?
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
yeah
Leah:
arey
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.j
ustt
hinki
ngaboutt
her
epor
tIhav
eto
wr
it
e
Leah:
i
fyousayso.
.
Idr
ovehert
othehouse.
Her
:youwi
l
lcal
lri
ght
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Afterdr
oppingheroffIdrovehome, funnyhowI
call
edhishousehome.Get ti
ngt hereIgotof f
thecarthenwenttothedoort ounl ock.Itwas
funnyhowIkeptondr oppingthekey sov erand
overagain.Thecl
umsinesswasj ustgettingme
mor eandmor eupset
.Finall
yImanagedt o
unlock,t
henIimmediatel
ywal kedupst airsto
thebedr oom andl ayont hebed.Thef rameon
thewal l
caughtmyey e.Wehadwentt osome
artshop, weboughtapi ct uref r
ameont he
pur poseofput ti
ngPhi wesbi rthdaypicturei nit
butsur prisingl
ywehadusedi tf orsomet hing
else.HeboughtaMani lapaper ,t
henbought
paint .Wepl ayedar oundt hatMani l
atoget her
withPhi we, i
twasact uallyf unt henevenwr ote
ournamesont hatMani lapaper .Bandil
et hen
deci dedt oframei t.Itookadeepbr eathasI
j
ustr emember edtheday .Myt hought sgot
i
nt erruptedbymyphoner inging.Ipickedup
withoutev enchecki ngt hecal lersID.
Me:
hel
l
o?
Cal
l
er:
hey
I
twasSam.
.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne
Hi
m:y
ousoundabi
tdown
Me:
j
ustaheadachenot
hingmor
e..
what
'
sup?
Hi
m:I
'
m mar
ryi
ngTi
na
Me:
that
sgr
eatbutwhatabout
..
-
Hi
m:hewi
l
ljusthav
etodeal
wit
hit
Me:
I'
m happyf
ory
ou,
sowheni
sthebi
gday
?
Hi
m:somewher
ear
oundnexty
earApr
il
Me:
ok.
.I
'
mreal
l
yhappyf
ory
ou
Hi
m:wi
l
lyoucome?
Me:
ofcauseIwi
l
l.
.
Hi
m:good
Wet alkedsomemor ebefor
ehef inal
lyhungup.
Iclosedmyey es,
ti
ghtl
yshutt
ingthem.IthinkI
musthav efall
enasl
eepbecauseIwokeupl at
er
thatday .I
twasmadl ycol
dsoIwentt othe
closetthenwor eoneofhissweat er
.Getti
ng
downst air
sIwaswel comedbyt hehousephone
ri
nging.Iwal kedt
oitandanswer edit.
.
Me:
Thul
ani
resi
dencehel
l
o?
Cal
l
er:
babe
Icl
osedmyey
esi
nhal
i
ngashar
pbr
eat
h.
Hi
m:babet
alkt
ome
Me:
hi
Hi
m:ar
eyouSt
il
lmad?
Me:
no
Him:I
'
m goi
ngtoconebackear
li
er.
.MaybeI
havebeennotgi
vi
ngyoumuchattent
ion
Me:
may
be?
Hi
m: ok.
.Ihav
en'tbeengi
vi
ngy
oumuch
at
tenti
onandI '
m sorr
y
Me:
dontbe
Hi
m:whatcanIgety
ou?
Me:
not
hing
Hi
m:whichscal
eofmadisy
ourassat?Ar
eyou
madthatyouwantt
oki
ll
meormadt haty
ou
wantt
ofuckmehar
d?
Icoul
dn'
thel
pitbutl
augh.
Ihatet
hefactthathe
makesmesmi l
eandlaugheveni
fIdon'twant
to.
Me:
I'
mjustnor
mal
mad
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.Ir
eal
l
yam
Me:
youar
ehar
dlyhome
Hi
m:thatwi
ll
stop.
.If
eell
i
keDecemberistoo
f
ar.
.whycan'
tIj
ustprayy
ourbr
idepr
ice?
Me:
Bandi
l
ewehav
etal
kedaboutt
his
Hi
m:Iknow.
.Butcomeon.
.doIhav
etowai
tthat
l
ong?
Me:
ther
e'snor
ush
Him:
Ijustwanttowif
eyou.
.t
hat
sal
landI
'
m
goi
ngtodoi t
..
intwoweeks
Me:
noy
ouwon'
t!
Hi
m:itwasn'
tanargumentat
ivest
atement
..
I'
m
t
ell
i
ngy ouwhat'
sgoingt
ohappen
Me:
Bandi
l
eno.
.
Him:wewi
l
lsee.
.3y
ear
sisal
ot.Ihav
ewai
ted
enough
Me:youar
ereal
l
ybeingunf
airri
ghtnow..
we
agr
eedDecember.
.Youcan'
tjustchangethi
ngs
Hi
m:Kr
ist
inIdontwantt
ofi
ghtwi
thy
ou
Me:
nei
therdoI
Him:
goodbecauseI
'
m notgoi
ngtoar
guewit
h
youonthi
s..
Ihav
emademydecisi
onandi
ts
f
inal
Me:
Bandi
l
e-
Him:Idontwantt
orepeatmy
sel
f!AndI
'
m not
goi
ngto
Hesaidwiththefirmvoicethattoldmehes
alr
eadymadeuphi smind.Ididn'tunderstand
whyhewoul djustchangeourpl anslikethis.It
mademeangr ythathedidn'
tev enwantt ohear
myopinion.Ain'
tcoupl
essupposedt odi scuss
thi
ngstogether?
comet oanagr eementt oget her?
Ihungup.Sometimeshereal
l
ymanagest
o
upsetmewithoutevent
ryi
nghar
d.
Iwal
kedtothesi t
tingr oom andsati nfrontof
thet
v.Forsomer easonIhadl ostmyappet i
te.I
satt
herewitharaci ngmi nd,
ov erthinkingthi
ngs
asusualunt
ilIj
ustst artedfeeli
ngaheadache
comingandIalsof eltsleepy.Thepastf ewday s
Ihav
ebeenf eel
ingsl eepyandt i
red.Icouldf eel
mymyey eli
dsgivinguponmesl owl y.
.
Itookadeepbr eathasIgotmor eandmor e
frust
r at
ed.IknewIhadpl acedthem
somewher einthebedr oom butwher eexact l
y
fail
edme.Ist artedt urningever
y thi
ngupsi de
l
ooki ngf ormycarkey s.AsIwasst i
llt
ryingto
searchdeepi nmymi ndwher eIhadpl aced
them If eltthedooropenup.Qui cklyIturned
andi twasBandi le.Hehadr eal
lycameback
sooner .Justt hr
eeday sagohewast el
lingme
aboutpay ingLobol a.Ihadbeeni gnori
nghi m
si
ncet
hen,
sobasi
cal
l
yIhav
en'
ttal
kedt
ohi
m
si
ncet
hen.
Hi
m:nohug?
Ij
ustl
ookedathi
mthenbackt
owhatIwas
doi
ng.
Hi
m:ok
Hewalkedt
owar
dsme,
thenhel
dmef
rom
behi
nd.
Me:
Bandi
l
eIhav
etol
ookf
ormycarkey
s.
Him:
that
swhyy
ouar
etur
ningev
ery
thi
ngupsi
de
down?
Me:
Ijustwantmykey
s
Het
urnedmesoIl
ookathi
m.
Hi
m:r
elax.
.
Hesai
dki
ssingmyli
pssof
tlyandsl
owl
y.He
f
reedmyl
ipsaft
erawhi
le.
Hi
m:i
sthi
saboutt
hekey
s?
Me:
ofcausei
tis!
Hi
m:her
etheyar
e..
Hesaidwal ki
ngtot hedressingt
ableandtaki
ng
them.Ijustdi
dn'tknowwher emyheadwas
becauseitseemedl iketheyhadbeenther
eev er
sinceIstar
tedlookingforthem.
Hi
m:babey
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.j
ustmi
ssi
ngPhi
we
Hej
ustl
ookedatme.
.
Me:
andy
ou.
.
Hewal
kedt
omeandl
ookedatmecar
eful
l
y..
Him:I
'
m gl
ad.
.Iwanty
out
oaccompanyme
somewher
etoday
Me:
ok
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:Iboughty
ousomet
hing
Me:
obv
iousl
y
Bei
gnor
edmyt
onet
hengav
emeasmal
lbox
..
Me:
what
'
sthi
s?
Hi
m:openi
t
Iopenedit
,i
twasari
ng,
adi
amondr
ing.
.a
beauti
ful
diamondr
ing.
Me:
wow!
Him:IknowIdidn'
tdot hingsaccordi
ngl
y,and
forthatI'
m sor
ry.
.Iboughtthi
sringbecauseit
symbol i
zesusandhowf arwehav ecomeand
alsotoletthewholeworldknowy ouaretaken.
.
Il
aughed.
.Obv
iousl
y.
Me:
itsr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Hetookitandsli
ppeditonmy
f
inger
,sur
pri
singl
yitf
itper
fect
ly.Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Il
ovei
t
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ou
Hesai
dashedev
our
edmyl
i
ps,
owni
ngt
hem.
Hi
m:y
oucango,
Iwi
l
lcl
eanup
Inoddedashegav
emet
hecarkey
s.
Dri
v i
ngtoschoolIwasjustt hi
nki
ngaboutt he
i
ncidentofthekeysthenther i
ng.Ikeptl
ooking
atitanditwasreal
lybeauti
ful.Arr
ivi
ngto
schoolInoti
cedIwaspar ki
ngnearLeahsoI
gotoffthecarandwalkedt owardshercar.She
wasbusyonherphonet hatshedidn'tev
ensee
meunt i
lIknockedsoftl
yonherwi ndow.She
smiledgett
ingofft
hecar .
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Her
:Bandi
l
eback?
Me:
yeah
Her
:canwegot
othespaaf
tert
hel
essons?
Me:
yeahwhynot
..
Her
:t
hankGod.
.l
et'
sgo.
.wai
t.
.i
sthat
??
Shesai
dtaki
ngmyhandt
henl
etoutascr
eam
t
hatgr
abbedaf
ewpeopl
e'
sat
tent
ion.
Me:
keepi
tdown
Her
:ohmyGod!
it
sbeaut
if
ul
Me:
Iknow.
.Hewant
stomar
khi
ster
ri
tor
y
Her
:Iwoul
dal
so
Il
aughed.
.
Wewal kedinsi
de.Get
ti
nginsidemylectur
e
room IsawAv ewhohadalreadysawmet oo.
Shewav edatmewi t
hherhandmaki ngme
walktowardsherandsearbesidesher
.
Her
:hey
Me:
hey
Her
:youwer
escar
ce
Me:
i
tst
hei
nter
nshi
p
Her
:yeah.
.wannadol
unch?
Me:
I'
m..
busy
,nextt
ime
Her
:how'
syourki
d?
Me:
shesok.
.
Therestoft
hedayIwaswit
hher
,Idonthat
eher
butt
hatshealway
sgetst
ome.
Getti
ngtot
hespawithLeahaft
ert
hel
essonsI
recei
vedacal
lfr
om Bandi
le.
Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:pl
easedontfor
getIneedyoutoescor
tme
t
osomeev entandwealsoneedtotal
k
Me:
I'
m att
hespa
Hi
m:ok
Me:
mhhm
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hethenhungup, Leahwaslooki
ngatme.I
i
gnoredhereyesandlookedatthebr
ochur
e
goi
ngthroughitwithmyeyes.
Leah:
let
'sgo
Shesaidgrabbingmyhand.Af t
erthewholef ul
l
bodymassageIf i
nall
ydrovehome.Get t
ing
thereIf
oundanot hercarparkedinouryard.I
walkedinsi
det hehouse.Walkinginsi
dethe
sit
ti
ngroom myey escameacr ossthi
sother
guyIhav enevermet.Bandil
ewassi tt
ingwi t
h
thatguyholdi
ngbot t
lesofalcohol
.Hesmi led
assoonashesawme.
Hi
m:babe
Ismi
l
edasmyey eslookedar
ound.Icoul
d
smel
lfoodt
hough.
Hi
m:t
hisi
smyf
ri
endJaybabe.
.andt
hisi
sher
..
Inoddedast
hatguysmi
l
edatme.
Justthensomeladywalkedi
nfr
om t
he
ki
tchen,f
rom myki
tchen.
Her
:ohhhi
,
youmustbeKr
is
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:I
'm Jasmi
ne.
.
Shesai
dsmi l
i
ng.Ir
etur
nedt
hesmi
l
easwe
shookhands.
Her
:I
'm maki
ngdi
nner
,Ihopey
oudontmi
nd
Il
ookedatBandi
l
e..
Hi
m:Icancel
l
edt
heev
ent
.
Inodded.
Jasmi
ne:
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndahandt
hough.
.
Me:
yeah.
.ummhl
etmegochange
Iwalkedtothest air
s.AsIwal kedIt
hinkI
missedast eport ri
ppedonmyownl egs
makingmel osebalance.IknewIwasgoi ngto
fal
lbutsurprisi
nglyBandil
ecaughtme, Ididn'
t
evenreal
izehewasbehi ndme.Myhear twas
beati
ngfast,Ireal
lythoughtIwasgoingt ofal
l.
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.j
ustmi
ssedast
ep
Hescoopedmeinhi
sar
msandwal
kedwi
thme
upst
air
stoourr
oom.
Get
ti
ngi
nsi
dehepl
acedmeont
hebed.
.
Me:
Imi
ssedast
ep.
.nobi
gdeal
Hi
m:i
sev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
whywon'
ti
tbe?
Hi
m: Ihopeyounotst
ressi
ngovert
hebri
de
pr
icebecausestr
essi
ngornot,
i
tshappeni
ng
Il
aydown.
.
Me:shoul
dn'twehav
edi
scussedt
his?Asa
nor
mal couple?
Hi
m:I'
m notwai
ti
ngti
ll
December..I
fyouwant
whi
teweddingi
n100centuri
esIwouldn'
treal
l
y
gi
veafuck,
butbr
idepr
ice,
I
'm doi
ngitnow
Me:
what
'
schanged?
Him:not
hingeverchanged.
.Youdeci
ded
December..I
'
m decidi
ngnow
Ij
ustl
ookedathim,Ididn'
thav
etheener
gyt
o
ar
gueanymore.Hel ayontopofmeand
br
ushedhisl
i
psov ermi ne.
.
Him:I
'm sorr
yforthefactthatIl
oveyou.
.cause
becauseIloveyou,I
'
m goingt odothi
s,
youlike
oryoudon't
Hewhi sper
edseduct
ivel
y.Mybodyr
esponded
t
ohi sl
ipsonmyneckl et
ti
ngoutani
nvol
untar
y
vi
brati
on.
.
Isatinthebathroom floorwit
hasmymi ndran
i
tsownMar athon.Iwipedawayt hetear
.
SomehowIf el
tli
keBandi l
ejustwantedful
l
controlov
ermebutt henIcouldn'tst
ophim
couldI?Iheardasof tknockont hedoor
fol
lowedbyAl ex'
sv oi
ce.
Al
ex:
Kri
s,
youi
nther
e?
Ikeptqui
te,
Ijustwant
edt
obeal
one.
I
twast hedayoftheLobol anegot
iat
ionsbut
theyhadal
readypasseddur i
ngtheday .My
uncleswer
estil
lthere,
enj
oy i
ngthetr
aditi
onal
beerandAuntswer esti
ll
theretogiv
emet he
"talk"
.Iwasn' treal l
ylooki
ngf orwar dtoit.I
want edt ogeti nmycaranddr iveawayf r
om
ev ery
t hi
ng.Ihadj ustvomitedandt hishadbeen
happeni ngal ott hisweekandal sof eel
ing
nausea.Ev erysi gnIhad, l
edmet opregnancy .I
f
Iwaspr egnant ,whichwas99%al mostaccurate
accor dingtot hesy mpt omsIwoul dnev er
forgiveBandi l
eoratl eastIcoul dtrynotto.I
stoodupatl ast,washedmyf acet henwal ked
out ,
tomybagwhi chwasi nAl ex'sroom.She
wast herewithmyot hercousin.
Al
ex:
hey
,Iwasl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou
Me:
I'
m comi
ng
Isai
dgr
abbi
ngmyhandbagandPhi
wesbag.
.
Me:
wher
e'sPhi
we?
Al
ex:
shesinthenextr
oom sl
eepi
ng.
.mom i
s
l
ooki
ngforyou
Idi
dn'
tli
sten,
Ij
ustwal
kedoutthenwenttothe
nextr
oom.Shewaspeaceful
lysleepi
ngbutI
j
ustneededtoheroutofhere.Shegotstart
led
whenIpickedherupbutdidn'
tcry.Iwal
ked
wit
hheroutside,
tomycarandpl acedheratthe
backseatonherbabyseat
.Alexwasal r
eady
besi
desmeasIgoti nmyseat .
Al
ex:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?Youknowy
ou-
Me:
cov
erf
orme
Isaidstart
ingt hecar.Shemov edawayf rom
thecarasIst artedreversing.Immedi atel
ywhen
IdroveawayIf eltmuchbet ter.Idi
dn'tstop
dri
v i
ng.Idrovebackt oGabor onebutt oahot el
.
Afterprocessingev er
ythingIwentt ot heroom
theyGav emet henlayont hebedwi t
hPhi weon
myt ummy .Ij
ustdidntwantt obeli
evet hatI
waspr egnant,Icouldn'tbe,notagain.
.
LEAH
.
Hi
m:ok.
.whatdi
dIdo?
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
out
alki
ngabout
Him:Leah!Mywi f
eisn'tt
alki
ngtomeoutofa
sudden,shesnotbacky etandsheshoul
dbeat
schoolrightnowandy outellmeyoudontknow
whatI'
mt al
kingabout?It
sbeenaweek..you
can'
ttellmey oudontknowwhatI '
mt al
ki
ng
about
Me:Bandi
le.
.Idontknow,
shesnott
ell
i
ngme
any
thing
Helookedatmewitht
hatfacewhi
chcanmake
youpeeony our
sel
fmaki
ngmet ur
ntolookatQ.
Q:
babecomeon
Me:
Idontknow,
shesnott
ell
i
ngmeany
thi
ngQ
Bandil
esighed.Kri
shasbeenbeeni nBotswana
foral
mostaweeknowandhascut
communi cat
ionwithanyone.Sheonl
ycalled
meonceandshewasorshesoundedbr okento
beexact.Shedidn'
ttel
lmet houghwhatwas
wrong.
Bandi
le:
Idontknowwhyshekeepsact
ingso
chi
ldi
sh.
.
Q:whatdoy
ouexpectf
rom mar
ryi
ngaki
d?It
old
you
Bandi
l
e:It
houghtourchi
l
dwoul
dchangeher
Me: shenev
erwantedtogetmar
ri
ed.
.Youhad
yourwaybehindherback
Q:
Isuggesty
ougot
her
e
Bandi
le:
i
m scar
edIwi
l
lhur
theri
mtooangr
y
ri
ghtnow
Hest
oodup.
.
Bandi
le:
ifshecal
l
stel
lherIwantt
oseemy
chi
ld
Hesai
dwal
ki
ngout
.Hewasr
eal
l
ypi
ssed.
Q:
Leah.
.
Me:
Idontknowwhat
'sgoi
ngon.
.
Heexhal
edt
hencameandsatbesi
desme.
.
Q:
youwoul
dtel
lmei
fsheev
ercal
l
sri
ght
?
Me:
i
fshewant
smet
o
,
that
sagi
veni
f
Q:
I'
m gl
adI
'
m notBandi
l
e
Me:
whydoy
ouhat
eKr
is?
Q:
whywoul
dIhat
eher
?
Me:
yout
ell
me
Q:
Idonthat
eher
,j
ustsomet
imesherat
ti
tude
Me:
att
it
ude?Ni
ggay
ouhav
easer
iouspr
obl
em
Q:
Iknow
Me:wellt
hat
smygi rl
..
andIwil
lalwayshav
eher
backnomat terwhatandyeah.
.Ial
sodon'
tli
ke
yourshadyf
ri
end,Ionl
ytol
erat
ehisass
Hel
aughed.
.
Thefactt
hatIhadn'
ttal
kedtoherforawhi
l
e
nowgotmewor ri
ed.Qstayedwit
hmef ora
whil
ethenhehadtogosomewher e.
Immedi atel
yaf terhel eftItr
iedhernumberf or
thehundr edt
ht imeev enthoughIknewi tsof f.I
t
l
edmet ov oicemai l.Ihadn'ttol
dany onefrom
herfami l
y,deepdownIwashopi ngshesst ill
withthem.Lat ert hatnightasIwassl eepingI
waswokenupbyav i
olentknock.I twasar ound
1a.m andt obehonestIwasj ustscar ed.Fora
whilethereIstay edonmybed, tr
y ingtoignor e
theknockbuti tgotmor elouder,andt heloud
knockwasaccompani edbyherv oice
screamingmyname.Ir ushedt ot hedoorf rom
myr oom andunl ockedt hedoor .Shewas
standingthere,lookingabi tlost.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
Imovedf
rom thedoort
olethergeti
n.Shegot
i
nsi
dethehouse.
Me:
wher
ear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom?
Her
:It
hinkI
'
m pr
egnant
..
Shebl
urt
ed.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:It
hinkI
'
m pr
egnant
Me:
you.
.-
God!
Her:
Iwasj usttooangr
y,wenev
erpl
annedfor
anotherchil
d..Whywouldhedosomethi
ngli
ke
thi
s?
Me:
wher
e'sPhi
we?
Her
:mom
Me:
hesangr
y
Her
:Idon'
tcar
e,I
'
m st
ayi
ngher
e
Me:youknowt
hat
'snotwhatamar
ri
edwoman
shouldsay
Her
:Idon'
tcar
e..
Shesaidwalki
ngupstairsandIcouldseeshe
wasn'thappy
.Hervoicedoesn'tal
lowherto
shoutbuthertonevari
esineverysit
uati
on.I
walkedtomyr oom af
terdebati
ngwi t
hmy sel
f
f
orawhi
l
eifi
shoul
dgot
oherr
oom ornot
.
Thef
oll
owingdayIwokeupabi
tear
lyt
ocheck
uponher.
Walki
nginsi
deherr
oom shewassi
tt
ingont
he
f
loorwit
hherbackagai
nstt
hedoor
.
Me:
hey
Her
:mor
ning
Me:
school
?
Her
:myl
essonst
artat10
Inoddedt
henwentandsatbesi
desher
..
Me:I'
m surePhiwewil
lbeexci
tedt
ohav
ea
l
it
tl
ebrotherorsist
er
Her
:yeah
Me:communicati
onisver
yimpor
tant
Kr
is,
ignor
ingBandi
le.
.-
Her
:IknowI
'
m wr
ong,
asal
way
s
Me:
itsnotabouty
oubei
ngal
way
swr
ong
Her
:yeah
Me:whendi
dyouf
indoutt
haty
ouwer
e
pr
egnant
?
Her
:l
astweekend
Inodded.
.
Ist
oodup.
Me:
Im goi
ngt
ogot
akeashower
..
Iwal
kedoutleavi
ngheronthefl
oor.Walkingi
n
myroom Inoti
cedmyphoneringi
ng,Iwalked
uptoi
tanditwasmom. .Iwal
kedaway ,
l
eav i
ng
i
tri
ng.
.
KRI
S
.
Aft
erLeahleftf
orschoolIl
ockedmy selfi
nmy
ownthoughts.Communicati
oniskey,t
hatI
knowbutIfeelli
keBandi
lealwaysfai
lto
communicatewithme.Itookadeepbr eat
hasI
switchedonmyphone.Iwaswel comedby
dozensofmessages.Theonesf rom Bandi l
e
toldmehesangr y..Iplacedt hephonebesi des
me, event houghIwasangr yIwasgoi ngt olay
thef i
rstbr i
ck.It ookashowert hendr ov et ohis
housef inally.It ookadeepbr eat hbef ore
walkingi nside.Hewasn' tany wher ei nsightsoI
walkedar ound, andwentt othebedr oom.He
wasn' ttheret oo.Isatont hebed, tr
y i
ngt oput
myemot ionsi nor der.Fi nallyt hedoorswung
openandhewal kedi n.Hest oodbyt hedoor
l
ooki ngatme, get t
ingangr ybyt hemi nut e.I
stoodupashewal kedt owar dsme.Thel ookIn
hisey eswasn' tt heev erydayl ookI '
m usedt o,i
t
wast hatl ookwhi chpr ov edt omet hathewas
soangr y .Itookst epsbackashecl osedt he
gapebet weenus.Hest oodbef oremeasmy
backwasagai nstt hewal l,
breat hingf ire.This
broughtmymi ndbackt ot hedayhesl apped
me.
Hi
m:wher
ewer
eyou?
Heaskedsof
tl
yandcal
mly
..
Hi
m:Idontwantt
orepeatmy
sel
ftoy
ou
Me:
I..
Ineededspace
Hi
m:space?
Hechuckl
edt
hat"
don'
tfuckwi
thme"chuckl
e.
Hi
m:y
ouneededspacef
rom what
?
Me:
ever
ythi
ng
Hi
m:wher
e'smychi
l
d?
Me:
mom
Hi
m:soy
oul
eftmychi
l
dwi
thy
ourmom?
Me:
mymom wi
l
lnev
erhur
ther
Hi
m:t
hat
'snotwhatIsai
d..
Me:
itsoundedl
i
ket
hat
swhaty
ouwer
e
i
mply
ing
Hecli
ckedhi
stoungethenwalkedout
.I
f
oll
owedhim downst
airsbutpl
anwasIshoul
d
l
eave.Get
ti
ngdownstai
rshesatdownand
st
art
edwat
chi
ngTV.
Idi
dn'tknowwhattosaytohim,Idi
dn'tknowifI
shoul
dj ustt
ell
himthatI
'
m pregnantandtel
l
hi
mt hatswhyIneededspace.
Hi
m:howlongar
eyougoi
ngtostandt
her
eand
cr
yasifIdi
dsomet
hingt
oyou?
Il
ookedathi
m wi
pingmyt
ear
saway
.
Him:Idontknowwhatyouwantf
rom me
anymoresoj ustdomeafav
ourandl
eavemei
n
peace
Me:
Ishoul
dleav
e?
Hi
m:t
hat
swhatIsai
d..Leav
emyhouse
Me:
leav
eyourhouse?
Hegav
emeal
ookmaki
ngmel
augh.
.
Me:Iknowy
oumadandal
l.
.butl
egal
l
ythisi
s
al
somyhousesoi
fyoumad,t
her
eisthedoor
Hi
m: ohhsoy
ouf
inal
l
yremembert
haty
ouar
e
marr
ied?
Me:
I'
veal
way
sremember
edt
hat
..
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Mylegsstart
edfeel
i
ngnumbthatIheldonto
thecouchthatwasi
nfr
ontofmeforsupport.
EventhoughhewasmadbutIcouldtel
lthe
concerni
nhiseyes.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Ifi
nal
lysai
d,Ihadjustdeci
dedIwasn'
tgoi
ngt
o
tel
lhi
mi mmedi at
ely.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ry
Isatdown,
tr
yingt
ofi
ghtof
fthefeel
ingof
numbnessIwasfeel
i
ngwithoutmakinghi
m
know.
Hi
m:whatexact
lydoy
ouwantf
rom me?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:comeher
e
It
ookadeepbreat
hbefor
estandi
ngupand
walki
ngt
owar
dshim,t
hensit
ti
ngonhisl
ap
i
gnoringhi
st ensebodyandthesmel l
of
ni
coti
nearoundhi m.Thefeel
ingofnumbness
wasjustpersist
ingmakingmef eel
weakinthe
pr
ocess.Hisbodyr el
axedaft
erawhi l
eashe
wrappedhishandsaroundme.
West ayedli
kethat,
IthinkImusthavefal
l
en
asleepbecausewhenIopenedmyey esIwas
onhi sbed,
coveredi
nasmal lbl
anket
.Ist
oodup
thenwalkedtothebat hroom t
owashmyf ace
asIhadabl urr
edv i
sion.
Ispl
ashedcoldwateronmyfacebutmyvi
sion
wasstil
ltr
oubl
e.Somethi
ngwaswr ongwi
th
me,Icoul
dfeeli
t.
.
Her
:ok.
.y
es!
yes.
thanky
ou
Het
henhungupandwal
kedt
owar
dsme.
.
Hi
m:wehav
ethev
enue.
.
Me:
great
!
Hi
m:y
oudontsoundexci
tedBunny
Me:Iam..j
usthav
eaheadache,
hadal
ongday
atschool
Leah:
l
etmegety
oupai
nki
l
ler
s
Shesai dstandingupandwal kingaway .Iwas
atmyhousewi thLeahandmyweddi ngplanner.
Thel astthr
eeweekshav ejustbeenonemess.I
couldn'tunderstandmyownbodyandmyown
husbandwashav inghi swaywi thev erythi
ng.
Bandi l
ehadsuggest edt hatwegetmar ri
ed
whiteweddi nginDecember .Ev erythingwas
j
ustgoi ngtoof astandIcoul dn'tseem t ost op
i
t,Iwasn'tupt oplanningaweddi ngi n3mont hs
andsomeweeksSoi nsteadBandi lehireda
weddi ngplannerandImustsayhewasgoodat
whathedoes.Hesi deaswer espl endi dashe
wouldsayandLeahandhi m cl i
ckedf r
om the
fi
rstday .Hehadal r
eadyt akenmeasur ement s
formygown.Mom di dntliket hefactt hatIwas
getti
ngmar r
iedhur ri
edly,Ialsodi dn'tbutonce
Bandi l
ehassethi smi ndt osomet hing,hewi l
l
getit.Hewasn' ttakingnof orananswerandi t
wasusel essfight
ingwi t
hhim butIdidn'tl
ov e
him anyless.Isti
lll
ovedhimt hesamewayIdi d
thelastt
hr eeyears,maybeevenmor e.Leah
camebackwi ththeglassofwat erand
painki
ll
ersandhandt hem ov
ertome.Idr ank
thepil
lsthentriedtofocusonwhat ,Donov an,
whatsay ing.
Hi
m:soy
ourbr
ideMai
dsar
eonl
y5?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:andi
tst
hosegi
rl
s?
Me:
yes
Hewasr ef
err
ingt
oKaraboandThabi
,
then
Leah,
AlexandNono.
Hi
m:ohmygoshBunny,
thi
sisgoi
ngy
obet
he
mostf
abul
ousweddi
ngever.
.
Il
aughed,
hewasj
usthi
l
ari
ous.
Isatt
her
easIwat
chedt
hem t
ryi
ngt
omakemy
weddi
ngaheav
enweddi
ng.
Latert
hatdayDonov
anwent
,l
eav
ingmewi
th
Leahonly.
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
you?
Shelookeddownt
henst
art
edpl
ayi
ngwi
thher
fi
ngersagai
n.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Her
:canwepl
easet
estf
ort
hel
astt
ime?
Me:
whydoy
ouwantt
odot
hist
oyour
sel
f?
Her
:f
ort
hel
astt
ime
Me:
sot
haty
ougetdepr
essedagai
n?
Her:
Ijustwantt
ocheckifnothi
ng'
shas
changedsoIcanstar
tconsider
ingI
VF
Me:
YouandQpl
anni
ngonhav
ingki
ds?
Her
:no.
.j
ustkeepi
ngadv
ances
Isi
ghed.
.
Me:
andQdoesn'
tknowabouti
tdoeshe?
Shel
ookeddownagai
n..
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
other
est
room
Isai
dstandingupandwal kingt
oMyr oom.
Gett
ingi
nsidethet
oiletIsawbloodonmypanty.
Myheartstoppedforami nutet
her
e..Bl
ood.Di
d
Il
osemybaby ?
.
Iheardt heknock,buti
twassof aintandI
couldn'tseem tostandupfrom thefloorwhere
Ihadcoi ledmybodyi nt
oasmal l bal
l,
Ihadbeen
i
nt hebat hroom f
oralmostanhournow.The
doorfinallyswungopenandLeahwal kedi
n..
Her
:heywhatar
e-
Herspeechgotcutof
fbymybl
oodypant
ies
t
hatwerebesidesme.
Her
:God!
Kri
sist
hat
..
didy
oul
oset
hebaby
?
Icoul dn'
tstopthet earthatescapedmyey es.
Shewal kedupt omeandhel dmei nherar ms.I
feltnumb, Ifel
ttootiredtocry .
.Il
ayst i
l
l,vi
sion
blurri
ngasmyey esbecamemi st
.Carefull
yI
l
istenedt omyhear tbreak,i
ntosmal l
pieces.It
didn'tmakenoi se,itjustbrokesil
entlyleaving
medest royedandshut t
ered.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*

[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
FI
NALI
NSERT
¥PART1¥
LEAH
.
.
Beingint hesamer oom wi thpeopl ewhohada
problem likemi ne, mademef eelbet ter.The
factthatIwasn' ttheonl yonewi thapr oblem
madei tal lfeelbet t
er.Notoncebef orehav e
everthoughtofmy selfinasi tuationl i
ke
thi
s,attendingAAmeet ings.Thef irstmont h
washar d,accept i
ngt hatIdohav eapr oblem
waswor se.Thef actthatIhadsuppor t
,from Q
andKr iswasj ustov erwhel ming.Iev enmadea
newf riend,Dintl
e, shewasj usthav i
ngt hesame
problem asmi nebutherr easonswer ejust
deepert hanmi ne.Younev erknowany one's
painunt ilyouhav ewal kedi ntheirshoes.Ihav e
beenat t
endi ngthismeet i
ngsf or3mont hs
now, t
hef ir
stmont hwasr eall
yhar dt hatIonly
attendedt wi cethent hesecondt hat swhenI
adjusted,wemeett wiceperweek.Ij ustloveit
therebecauseIcanact uall
ytalkaboutt hewayI
feelwithouthesi tatingbecauseof
embar rassment .Iwal kedoutoft hebui ldi
ng
wit
hDi nt
lebesi
desme,
wel
lIcal
lherDidi
becauseIfi
ndithar
dsomet
imestopronounce
hername.
Her
:I
'm goi
ngt
omymot
her
sgr
avet
oday
..
Me:
doy
out
hinky
our
eady
?
Shesi
ghedheav
il
y.
.
Her
:Imi
ssher
Me:
Iknow
Her
:Ishoul
dhav
ebeent
her
eforher
..
Me:
hey
..
Ist
oppedthenhuggedher,
appar
entl
yher
motherdi
edinatragi
cacci
dentri
ghtint
hespot
.
Her
:I'
m sor
ry.
.
Shepull
edoutwhi
l
ecl
umsi
l
ywi
pingof
fher
tear
s.
Me:
dontbe.
.
Her
:yourf
ri
endi
sher
e..
Il
ookedwher eshewasl ooki
ngatKri
shad
al
readypar
kedhercar .Ihadpromi
sedhert
hat
we'dhavealadiesouttoday,
toget
her
.Ismil
ed.
.
Me:
wannacat
chal
i
ft?
Her
:nah.
.mysi
steri
swai
ti
ngf
orme
Inoddedthenhuggedheronel
astt
imebef
ore
rushi
ngtoKris.
Get
ti
ngi
nthecarIhuggedher
..
Her
:hey
!
Me:
hi,
hey
..
nicehai
rst
yle
Shepl
ait
edsomebl
uebr
aidst
hatwentwel
l
wit
hherski
ncol
our
.
Her
:Iknow.
.Any
way
swegoi
ngwher
e?
Me:
Ithoughty
ouhadapl
an
Her
:Idontunf
ort
unat
ely
..
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
let
'sj
ust
..
Idontknow.
.Gof
oradr
ive
Her
:ni
cepl
an.
.l
et'
sgo
Shestart
edthecar,i
twasaround1700hr
s.She
droveti
l
litwasreal
l
ydarkandthatswhenshe
pull
edupatsomehouse.
Me:
who'
shousei
sthi
s?
Her
:Bandi
l
es.
.
Shegotoutoft hecar,If
oll
owedherandst ood
behindherasshepr essedtheintercom.Af t
era
whileofwaiti
ngtherewithnor esponseIwas
start
ingt
oreallygetscared.Imeani twas
around2000hrsandwewer est andinginfr
ont
ofahouset hatisi
nt hemiddleofnowher e.
Me:
Ithi
nkmay
beweshoul
dgo
Her
:justami
nut
e
Me:
doesany
oneev
enst
ayher
e?
Her
:yeah.
.
Justt
hensomeguycame,
i
tseemedl
i
kehewas
sl
eepi
ng.
Hi
m:Mam.
.
Hesai
dopeningthegat
ewitharemote.We
wal
kedbacktothecart
hendrov
einsi
de.
Get
ti
ngout,
theguywasalr
eadybesi
desthecar
.
Hi
m:goodev
eni
ngMam.
.
Hesai
dtoKr
is,
whoj
ustsmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:Musa?
Hel
aughedsof
tl
y.
.
Hi
m:Mazwi
Mam
Her
:yesMazwi
..
ummhi
sitoki
fyoul
etusi
n?
Hi
m:y
es
Hegaveust
hekey
swhi
chwer
eat
tachedt
othe
r
emote.
Kr
is:
Thanky
ou
Hi
m:any
time.
.
Hethenwal
kedawayasKr
iswal
kedtothefr
ont
door
.Sheunl
ockedt
henwegoti
n.Thehouse
wascl
ean.
Me:
i
tsbeaut
if
ul
Her
:Iknowr
ight
..
Me:
arewesl
eepi
ngher
e?
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
whataboutPhi
we?
Her
:she'
swi
thmom r
emember
..
Me:
oh.
.If
orgotshewast
akenl
astweek
Shesmi
l
ed.
.
Her
:yeah.
.sowesl
eepi
ngher
etoni
ght
..
Shesaidwalki
ngaround.Itext
edQ,
eversince
hefoundouthesbeenactingli
kemythir
ddad.
Hedidn'
ttaketi
met ocal
l.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:wher
eexact
lyar
eyousl
eepi
ng?
Me:Bandi
l
eshouset
hat
shour
sawayf
rom
home
Hi
m:y
ouwi
thKr
is?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:ok.
.Iwi
l
lseey
out
omor
row
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:canIpl
easet
alkt
oKr
is?
Me:
I'
m notdr
inki
ngQ
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tsayy
ouar
e
Me:
youdi
dn'
thav
eto.
.
Iwal
kedtoKri
sandgaveherthephonet
hen
wal
kedtothecouchandsatdown.
Kr
iscameaf
terawhi
l
e..
Her
:he'
str
yingt
obesuppor
ti
ve
Me:
byal
way
sact
ingt
hewayhedoes?
Her
:yes,
hewoul
dn'
tdoi
tifhedi
dn'
tcar
e
Me:
ohhr
eal
l
y?Hedoesn'
ttr
ustme!
Her
:cal
m down.
.
Me:
Ican'
tbel
i
evey
out
aki
nghi
ssi
de
Her
:I
'm not
..
I'
mjust
..
God.
.Leah!
Me:I
'
m gett
inghel
p..
thatshoul
dcountbutI
'
m
bei
ngtr
eatedli
kesomeonewhocan' tst
ayaway
fr
om al
cohol.
.
Her
:youar
ereal
l
yov
err
eact
ing
Me:
real
l
y?
Her
:It
hinky
ouneedt
orest

Il
ookedather
,shewascal
m asalway
sbutI
coul
dtel
lshewasgett
ingannoy
ed.
Me:
im-
Her
:bed.
.come
Shesaidwal
ki
ngupstai
rs.Wewal
kedint
oa
coupl
eofroomsunt
ilshefi
nal
l
yfoundaroom.
Her
:wewi
l
lsl
eept
oget
herher
e..
Shewal
kedt
othebedt
aki
ngof
fhershoes.
.
Wel
ayi
nthebedst
arr
ingi
ntodar
kness.
Her
:howwasy
ourday
?
Me:
ok.
.
Wewentsi
l
entf
orawhi
l
ether
e..
Her
:yourmom cal
l
ed
Me:
whatdi
dshewant
?
Her:
shesay
syounotanswer
inghercal
l
s.She
wantst
otal
ktoyou
Me:
Iwi
l
lcal
lher
Her
:pr
omi
se?
Me:
promi
se
.
KRI
S
.
Thefoll
owingdayIwokeupear
ly,
Bandi
l
edidn'
t
cal
lyester
daysoIdidn'
tknowi
fhewasupset
ornotaboutmesl
eepi
ngher
e.
Iwalkedinsi
dethebathr
oom andl ucki
l
yt he
bathi
ngequipmentswerethere.It
ookaqui ck
showerthendressedinmyy est
erdaysclothes.
Getti
ngbackinsidet
heroom IwokeLeahup.
Her
:j
ustasec
Me:
wakeup.
.weneedt
ogethome
Her
:God!
Shewokeupandst agger edar oundbef ore
fi
nallyfi
ndi
ngt hebat hroom.Asshebat hedI
tookmyphone, andswi t
chedi ton.Ihadf ought
withBandileyesterday.He'sal way st r
av el
l
inga
l
ott hi
sdays,nevermakest imef ormeorhi s
chil
d.YesterdaywhenIgotbackf r
om wor khe
tol
dmehehadt ogot oAust r
al i
af oraweekbut
j
ustaweekbef orehewasi nBr azil
.Iknowand
under st
andthefactt hathest ryingt oputf ood
onthet abl
ebutsomet i
mesi tjustget st oo
much.Swi tchi
ngi tonsur pri
singl ytherewasno
callfr
om him.Justat ext.
.
"
Ilov
eyou"
Ifeltl
ikesmashingthephoneagainstt
hewal l
.I
satdownandwai t
edforLeah.SometimesIjust
wonderi ft
hisishowit'
sgoingtobewhen...
we
offici
all
ygetmarri
ed.Leahwalkeddownstai
rs
afterawhile.
Me:
ready
?
Her
:yeah.
.
Me:
l
et'
sgo
Iwal
kedoutsidetothecar.Mazwiwasal
ready
out
side,
doi
ngcl eani
ngtheyard.I
twasfr
eezing
out
sidesoIrushedovertohim.
Me:
mor
ning
Hi
m:Mam
Me:
take,
wear
egoi
ng
Hi
m:ok,
saf
ejour
ney
..
Ismil
edhandinghimthekey
saf t
eropeni
ngthe
gat
e.Irushedbacktomycarthendroveaway.
Thejourneybackhomewasjustqui
te,
Iwasj
ust
caughtupinmyownt hought
s.
Leah:
youknowy
oucanal
way
stal
ktomer
ight
?
Il
ookedather
..
Me:
yeah
Leah:
arey
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.j
ustt
hinki
ngaboutt
her
epor
tIhav
eto
wr
it
e
Leah:
i
fyousayso.
.
Idr
ovehert
othehouse.
Her
:youwi
l
lcal
lri
ght
?
Me:
yeah.
.
Afterdr
oppingheroffIdrovehome, funnyhowI
call
edhishousehome.Get ti
ngthereIgotof f
thecarthenwenttothedoort ounlock.Itwas
funnyhowIkeptondr oppingthekeysov erand
overagain.Thecl
umsinesswasj ustgettingme
mor eandmor eupset
.Finall
yImanagedt o
unlock, thenIimmedi atelywal kedupst air
st o
thebedr oom andl ayont hebed.Thef rameon
thewal l
caughtmyey e.Wehadwentt osome
artshop, weboughtapi ct uref r
ameont he
pur poseofput ti
ngPhi wesbi rthdaypicturei nit
butsur pr i
singl
ywehadusedi tf orsomet hing
else.HeboughtaMani lapaper ,t
henbought
paint .Wepl ayedar oundt hatMani l
atoget her
withPhi we, i
twasact uallyf unt henevenwr ote
ournamesont hatMani lapaper .Bandil
et hen
deci dedt oframei t.Itookadeepbr eathasI
j
ustr emember edtheday .Myt hought sgot
i
nt erruptedbymyphoner inging.Ipickedup
withoutev enchecki ngt hecal lersID.
Me:
hel
l
o?
Cal
l
er:
hey
I
twasSam.
.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne
Hi
m:y
ousoundabi
tdown
Me:
j
ustaheadachenot
hingmor
e..
what
'
sup?
Hi
m:I
'
m mar
ryi
ngTi
na
Me:
that
sgr
eatbutwhatabout
..
-
Hi
m:hewi
l
ljusthav
etodeal
wit
hit
Me:
I'
m happyf
ory
ou,
sowheni
sthebi
gday
?
Hi
m:somewher
ear
oundnexty
earApr
il
Me:
ok.
.I
'
mreal
l
yhappyf
ory
ou
Hi
m:wi
l
lyoucome?
Me:
ofcauseIwi
l
l.
.
Hi
m:good
Wet alkedsomemor ebefor
ehefinal
lyhungup.
Iclosedmyey es,
ti
ghtl
yshutt
ingt
hem.IthinkI
musthav efal
l
enasleepbecauseIwokeupl at
er
thatday .I
twasmadl ycol
dsoIwentt othe
closetthenwor eoneofhissweater
.Getti
ng
downst
air
sIwaswelcomedbythehousephone
ri
ngi
ng.Iwal
kedt
oitandansweredi
t.
.
Me:
Thul
ani
resi
dencehel
l
o?
Cal
l
er:
babe
Icl
osedmyey
esi
nhal
i
ngashar
pbr
eat
h.
Hi
m:babet
alkt
ome
Me:
hi
Hi
m:ar
eyouSt
il
lmad?
Me:
no
Him:I
'
m goi
ngtoconebackear
li
er.
.MaybeI
havebeennotgi
vi
ngyoumuchattent
ion
Me:
may
be?
Hi
m: ok.
.Ihav
en'tbeengi
vi
ngy
oumuch
at
tenti
onandI '
m sorr
y
Me:
dontbe
Hi
m:whatcanIgety
ou?
Me:
not
hing
Hi
m:whichscal
eofmadisy
ourassat?Ar
eyou
madthatyouwantt
oki
ll
meormadt haty
ou
wantt
of uckmehar
d?
Icoul
dn'
thel
pitbutl
augh.
Ihatet
hefactthathe
makesmesmi l
eandlaugheveni
fIdon'twant
to.
Me:
I'
mjustnor
mal
mad
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry.
.Ir
eal
l
yam
Me:
youar
ehar
dlyhome
Hi
m:thatwi
ll
stop.
.If
eell
i
keDecemberistoo
f
ar.
.whycan'
tIj
ustprayy
ourbr
idepr
ice?
Me:
Bandi
l
ewehav
etal
kedaboutt
his
Hi
m:Iknow.
.Butcomeon.
.doIhav
etowai
tthat
l
ong?
Me:
ther
e'snor
ush
Him:
Ijustwanttowif
eyou.
.t
hat
sal
landI
'
m
goi
ngtodoi t
..
intwoweeks
Me:
noy
ouwon'
t!
Hi
m:itwasn'
tanargumentat
ivest
atement
..
I'
m
t
ell
i
ngy ouwhat'
sgoingt
ohappen
Me:
Bandi
l
eno.
.
Him:wewi
l
lsee.
.3y
ear
sisal
ot.Ihav
ewai
ted
enough
Me:youar
ereal
l
ybeingunf
airri
ghtnow..
we
agr
eedDecember.
.Youcan'
tjustchangethi
ngs
Hi
m:Kr
ist
inIdontwantt
ofi
ghtwi
thy
ou
Me:
nei
therdoI
Him:
goodbecauseI
'
m notgoi
ngtoar
guewit
h
youonthi
s..
Ihav
emademydecisi
onandi
ts
f
inal
Me:
Bandi
l
e-
Him:Idontwantt
orepeatmy
sel
f!AndI
'
m not
goi
ngto
Hesaidwi
ththefir
mv oicethattoldmehes
al
readymadeuphismi nd.Ididn'tunderstand
whyhewouldjustchangeourpl anslikethis.I
t
mademeangr ythathedi
dn'
tevenwanttohear
myopinion.Ain'
tcoupl
essupposedtodi
scuss
t
hingstogether?
comet oanagreementt
ogether
?
Ihungup.Sometimeshereal
l
ymanagest
o
upsetmewithoutevent
ryi
nghar
d.
Iwal
kedtothesi t
tingr oom andsati nfrontof
thet
v.Forsomer easonIhadl ostmyappet i
te.I
satt
herewitharaci ngmi nd,
ov erthinkingthi
ngs
asusualunt
ilIj
ustst artedfeeli
ngaheadache
comingandIalsof eltsleepy.Thepastf ewday s
Ihav
ebeenf eel
ingsl eepyandt i
red.Icouldf eel
mymyey eli
dsgivinguponmesl owl y.
.
Itookadeepbr eathasIgotmor eandmor e
frust
r at
ed.IknewIhadpl acedthem
somewher einthebedr oom butwher eexactl
y
fail
edme.Ist artedturningever
y thi
ngupside
l
ooki ngformycarkey s.AsIwasst il
ltry
ingto
searchdeepi nmymi ndwher eIhadpl aced
them Ifeltthedooropenup.Qui ckl
yIturned
anditwasBandi l
e.Hehadr eal
l
ycameback
sooner.Justt
hreeday sagohewast el
li
ngme
aboutpayingLobola.Ihadbeenignori
nghi
m
si
ncethen,sobasicall
yIhaven'
ttal
kedtohi
m
si
ncethen.
Hi
m:nohug?
Ij
ustl
ookedathi
mthenbackt
owhatIwas
doi
ng.
Hi
m:ok
Hewalkedt
owar
dsme,
thenhel
dmef
rom
behi
nd.
Me:
Bandi
l
eIhav
etol
ookf
ormycarkey
s.
Him:
that
swhyy
ouar
etur
ningev
ery
thi
ngupsi
de
down?
Me:
Ijustwantmykey
s
Het
urnedmesoIl
ookathi
m.
Hi
m:r
elax.
.
Hesai
dki
ssi
ngmyl
i
pssof
tl
yandsl
owl
y.He
f
reedmyl
i
psaf
terawhi
l
e.
Hi
m:i
sthi
saboutt
hekey
s?
Me:
ofcausei
tis!
Hi
m:her
etheyar
e..
Hesaidwal ki
ngtot hedressingt
ableandtaki
ng
them.Ijustdi
dn'tknowwher emyheadwas
becauseitseemedl iketheyhadbeenther
eev er
sinceIstar
tedlookingforthem.
Hi
m:babey
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.j
ustmi
ssi
ngPhi
we
Hej
ustl
ookedatme.
.
Me:
andy
ou.
.
Hewal
kedt
omeandl
ookedatmecar
eful
l
y..
Him:I
'
m gl
ad.
.Iwanty
out
oaccompanyme
somewher
etoday
Me:
ok
Hesmi
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:Iboughty
ousomet
hing
Me:
obv
iousl
y
Bei
gnor
edmyt
onet
hengav
emeasmal
lbox
..
Me:
what
'
sthi
s?
Hi
m:openi
t
Iopenedit
,i
twasari
ng,
adi
amondr
ing.
.a
beauti
ful
diamondr
ing.
Me:
wow!
Him:IknowIdidn'
tdot hingsaccordi
ngl
y,and
forthatI'
m sor
ry.
.Iboughtthi
sringbecauseit
symbol i
zesusandhowf arwehav ecomeand
alsotoletthewholeworldknowy ouaretaken.
.
Il
aughed.
.Obv
iousl
y.
Me:
itsr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul
Hetookitandsli
ppeditonmy
f
inger
,sur
pri
singl
yitf
itper
fect
ly.Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Il
ovei
t
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ou
Hesai
dashedev
our
edmyl
i
ps,
owni
ngt
hem.
Hi
m:y
oucango,
Iwi
l
lcl
eanup
Inoddedashegav
emet
hecarkey
s.
Dri
v i
ngtoschoolIwasjustt hi
nki
ngaboutt he
i
ncidentofthekeysthenther i
ng.Ikeptl
ooking
atitanditwasreal
lybeauti
ful.Arr
ivi
ngto
schoolInoti
cedIwaspar ki
ngnearLeahsoI
gotoffthecarandwalkedt owardshercar.She
wasbusyonherphonet hatshedidn'tev
ensee
meunt i
lIknockedsoftl
yonherwi ndow.She
smiledgett
ingofft
hecar .
Her
:hey
Me:
hi
Her
:Bandi
l
eback?
Me:
yeah
Her
:canwegot
othespaaf
tert
hel
essons?
Me:
yeahwhynot
..
Her
:t
hankGod.
.l
et'
sgo.
.wai
t.
.i
sthat
??
Shesaidtaki
ngmyhandthenl
etoutascr
eam
thatgr
abbedafewpeopl
e'sat
tent
ion.
Me:
keepi
tdown
Her
:ohmyGod!
it
sbeaut
if
ul
Me:
Iknow.
.Hewant
stomar
khi
ster
ri
tor
y
Her
:Iwoul
dal
so
Il
aughed.
.
Wewal kedinsi
de.Get
ti
nginsidemylectur
e
room IsawAv ewhohadalreadysawmet oo.
Shewav edatmewi t
hherhandmaki ngme
walktowardsherandsearbesidesher
.
Her
:hey
Me:
hey
Her
:youwer
escar
ce
Me:
i
tst
hei
nter
nshi
p
Her
:yeah.
.wannadol
unch?
Me:
I'
m..
busy
,nextt
ime
Her
:how'
syourki
d?
Me:
shesok.
.
Therestoft
hedayIwaswit
hher
,Idonthat
eher
butt
hatshealway
sgetst
ome.
Getti
ngtot
hespawithLeahaft
ert
hel
essonsI
recei
vedacal
lfr
om Bandi
le.
Me:
hel
l
o
Hi
m:pl
easedontfor
getIneedyoutoescor
tme
t
osomeev entandwealsoneedtotal
k
Me:
I'
m att
hespa
Hi
m:ok
Me:
mhhm
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo.
.
Hethenhungup,
Leahwaslooki
ngatme.I
i
gnoredherey
esandl
ookedatthebr
ochur
e
goi
ngt
hroughi
twi
thmyey
es.
Leah:
let
'sgo
Shesaidgrabbingmyhand.Af t
erthewholef ul
l
bodymassageIf i
nall
ydrovehome.Get t
ing
thereIf
oundanot hercarparkedinouryard.I
walkedinsi
det hehouse.Walkinginsi
dethe
sit
ti
ngroom myey escameacr ossthi
sother
guyIhav enevermet.Bandil
ewassi tt
ingwi t
h
thatguyholdi
ngbot t
lesofalcohol
.Hesmi led
assoonashesawme.
Hi
m:babe
Ismi
l
edasmyey eslookedar
ound.Icoul
d
smel
lfoodt
hough.
Hi
m:t
hisi
smyf
ri
endJaybabe.
.andt
hisi
sher
..
Inoddedast
hatguysmi
l
edatme.
Justthensomeladywalkedi
nfr
om t
he
ki
tchen,f
rom myki
tchen.
Her
:ohhhi
,
youmustbeKr
is
Me:
yes.
.
Her
:I
'm Jasmi
ne.
.
Shesai
dsmi l
i
ng.Ir
etur
nedt
hesmi
l
easwe
shookhands.
Her
:I
'm maki
ngdi
nner
,Ihopey
oudontmi
nd
Il
ookedatBandi
l
e..
Hi
m:Icancel
l
edt
heev
ent
.
Inodded.
Jasmi
ne:
Iwoul
dn'
tmi
ndahandt
hough.
.
Me:
yeah.
.ummhl
etmegochange
Iwalkedtothest air
s.AsIwal kedIt
hinkI
missedast eport ri
ppedonmyownl egs
makingmel osebalance.IknewIwasgoi ngto
fal
lbutsurprisi
nglyBandil
ecaughtme, Ididn'
t
evenreal
izehewasbehi ndme.Myhear twas
beati
ngfast,Ireal
lythoughtIwasgoingt ofal
l.
Hi
m:y
ouok?
Me:
yeah.
.j
ustmi
ssedast
ep
Hescoopedmeinhi
sar
msandwal
kedwi
thme
upst
air
stoourr
oom.
Get
ti
ngi
nsi
dehepl
acedmeont
hebed.
.
Me:
Imi
ssedast
ep.
.nobi
gdeal
Hi
m:i
sev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
whywon'
ti
tbe?
Hi
m: Ihopeyounotst
ressi
ngovert
hebri
de
pr
icebecausestr
essi
ngornot,
i
tshappeni
ng
Il
aydown.
.
Me:shoul
dn'twehav
edi
scussedt
his?Asa
nor
mal couple?
Hi
m:I'
m notwai
ti
ngti
ll
December..I
fyouwant
whi
teweddingi
n100centuri
esIwouldn'
treal
l
y
gi
veafuck,
butbr
idepr
ice,
I
'm doi
ngitnow
Me:
what
'
schanged?
Him:not
hingeverchanged.
.Youdeci
ded
December..I
'
m decidi
ngnow
Ij
ustl
ookedathi
m,Idi
dn'
thav
etheener
gyt
o
ar
gueanymor
e.Helayontopofmeand
br
ushedhi
sli
psovermine.
.
Him:I
'm sorr
yforthefactthatIl
oveyou.
.cause
becauseIloveyou,I
'
m goingt odothi
s,
youlike
oryoudon't
Hewhi sper
edseduct
ivel
y.Mybodyr
esponded
t
ohi sl
ipsonmyneckl et
ti
ngoutani
nvol
untar
y
vi
brati
on.
.
Isatinthebathroom floorwit
hasmymi ndran
i
tsownMar athon.Iwipedawayt hetear
.
SomehowIf el
tli
keBandi l
ejustwantedful
l
controlov
ermebutt henIcouldn'tst
ophim
couldI?Iheardasof tknockont hedoor
fol
lowedbyAl ex'
sv oi
ce.
Al
ex:
Kri
s,
youi
nther
e?
Ikeptqui
te,
Ijustwant
edt
obeal
one.
I
twasthedayoftheLobol
anegoti
ati
onsbut
t
heyhadal
readypasseddur
ingt
heday .My
uncl eswer est i
l
l there,
enjoy i
ngt het r
aditi
onal
beerandAunt swer esti
lltheret ogivemet he
"talk".Iwasn'treal l
ylooki
ngf orwar dtoit.I
want edtogeti nmycaranddr iveawayf r
om
ev erythi
ng.Ihadj ustvomi tedandt hishadbeen
happeni ngal ott hisweekandal sof eel
ing
nausea.Ev er
ysi gnIhad, l
edmet opregnancy .I
f
Iwaspr egnant ,whi chwas99%al mostaccurate
accor di
ngtot hesy mpt omsIwoul dnev er
forgiv eBandil
eoratl eastIcoul dtrynotto.I
stoodupatl ast ,
washedmyf acet henwal ked
out ,
tomybagwhi chwasi nAl ex'sroom.She
wast herewithmyot hercousi n.
Al
ex:
hey
,Iwasl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou
Me:
I'
m comi
ng
Isai
dgr
abbi
ngmyhandbagandPhi
wesbag.
.
Me:
wher
e'sPhi
we?
Al
ex:
shesinthenextr
oom sl
eepi
ng.
.mom i
s
l
ooki
ngforyou
Idi
dn'tli
sten,
Ijustwal
kedoutthenwentt ot
he
nextroom.Shewaspeacef ull
ysleepi
ngbutI
j
ustneededt oheroutofhere.Shegotstart
led
whenIpi ckedherupbutdi
dn'tcry.Iwal
ked
wit
hherout side,t
omycarandpl acedheratthe
backseatonherbabyseat.Alexwasal r
eady
besi
desmeasIgoti nmyseat .
Al
ex:
wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?Youknowy
ou-
Me:
cov
erf
orme
Isaidstart
ingt hecar.Shemov edawayf rom
thecarasIst artedreversing.Immedi atel
ywhen
IdroveawayIf eltmuchbet ter.Idi
dn'tstop
dri
v i
ng.Idrovebackt oGabor onebutt oahot el
.
Afterprocessingev er
ythingIwentt ot heroom
theyGav emet henlayont hebedwi t
hPhi weon
myt ummy .Ij
ustdidntwantt obeli
evet hatI
waspr egnant,Icouldn'tbe,notagain.
.
LEAH
.
Hi
m:ok.
.whatdi
dIdo?
Me:
Idon'
tknowwhaty
out
alki
ngabout
Him:Leah!Mywi f
eisn'tt
alki
ngtomeoutofa
sudden,shesnotbacky etandsheshoul
dbeat
schoolrightnowandy outellmeyoudontknow
whatI'
mt al
kingabout?It
sbeenaweek..you
can'
ttellmey oudontknowwhatI '
mt al
ki
ng
about
Me:Bandi
le.
.Idontknow,
shesnott
ell
i
ngme
any
thing
Helookedatmewitht
hatfacewhi
chcanmake
youpeeony our
sel
fmaki
ngmet ur
ntolookatQ.
Q:
babecomeon
Me:
Idontknow,
shesnott
ell
i
ngmeany
thi
ngQ
Bandi
lesi
ghed.Kr
ishasbeenbeeninBotswana
foral
mostaweeknowandhascut
communicat
ionwit
hanyone.Sheonl
ycalled
meonceandshewasorshesoundedbr okento
beexact
.Shedi
dn'
ttel
lmet
houghwhatwas
wrong.
Bandi
le:
Idontknowwhyshekeepsact
ingso
chi
ldi
sh.
.
Q:whatdoy
ouexpectf
rom mar
ryi
ngaki
d?It
old
you
Bandi
l
e:It
houghtourchi
l
dwoul
dchangeher
Me: shenev
erwantedtogetmar
ri
ed.
.Youhad
yourwaybehindherback
Q:
Isuggesty
ougot
her
e
Bandi
le:
i
m scar
edIwi
l
lhur
theri
mtooangr
y
ri
ghtnow
Hest
oodup.
.
Bandi
le:
ifshecal
l
stel
lherIwantt
oseemy
chi
ld
Hesai
dwal
ki
ngout
.Hewasr
eal
l
ypi
ssed.
Q:
Leah.
.
Me:
Idontknowwhat
'sgoi
ngon.
.
Heexhal
edt
hencameandsatbesi
desme.
.
Q:
youwoul
dtel
lmei
fsheev
ercal
l
sri
ght
?
Me:
i
fshewant
smet
o
,
that
sagi
veni
f
Q:
I'
m gl
adI
'
m notBandi
l
e
Me:
whydoy
ouhat
eKr
is?
Q:
whywoul
dIhat
eher
?
Me:
yout
ell
me
Q:
Idonthat
eher
,j
ustsomet
imesherat
ti
tude
Me:
att
it
ude?Ni
ggay
ouhav
easer
iouspr
obl
em
Q:
Iknow
Me:wellt
hat
smygi rl
..
andIwil
lalwayshav
eher
backnomat terwhatandyeah.
.Ial
sodon'
tli
ke
yourshadyf
ri
end,Ionl
ytol
erat
ehisass
Hel
aughed.
.
Thef
actt
hatIhadn'
ttal
kedtoherforawhi
l
e
nowgotmeworri
ed.Qstayedwit
hmef ora
whilethenhehadt ogosomewher e.
Immedi atel
yaf terhel eftItr
iedhernumberf or
thehundr edt
ht imeev enthoughIknewi tsof f.I
t
l
edmet ov oicemai l.Ihadn'ttol
dany onefrom
herfami l
y,deepdownIwashopi ngshesst ill
withthem.Lat ert hatnightasIwassl eepingI
waswokenupbyav i
olentknock.I twasar ound
1a.m andt obehonestIwasj ustscar ed.Fora
whilethereIstay edonmybed, tr
y ingtoignor e
theknockbuti tgotmor elouder,andt heloud
knockwasaccompani edbyherv oice
screamingmyname.Ir ushedt ot hedoorf rom
myr oom andunl ockedt hedoor .Shewas
standingthere,lookingabi tlost.
Me:
hey
Her
:hey
Imovedf
rom thedoort
olethergeti
n.Shegot
i
nsi
dethehouse.
Me:
wher
ear
eyoucomi
ngf
rom?
Her
:It
hinkI
'
m pr
egnant
..
Shebl
urt
ed.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:It
hinkI
'
m pr
egnant
Me:
you.
.-
God!
Her:
Iwasj usttooangr
y,wenev
erpl
annedfor
anotherchil
d..Whywouldhedosomethi
ngli
ke
thi
s?
Me:
wher
e'sPhi
we?
Her
:mom
Me:
hesangr
y
Her
:Idon'
tcar
e,I
'
m st
ayi
ngher
e
Me:youknowt
hat
'snotwhatamar
ri
edwoman
shouldsay
Her
:Idon'
tcar
e..
Shesaidwalki
ngupstairsandIcouldseeshe
wasn'thappy
.Hervoicedoesn'tal
lowherto
shoutbuthertonevari
esineverysit
uati
on.I
walkedtomyr oom af
terdebati
ngwi t
hmy sel
f
f
orawhi
l
eifi
shoul
dgot
oherr
oom ornot
.
Thef
oll
owingdayIwokeupabi
tear
lyt
ocheck
uponher.
Walki
nginsi
deherr
oom shewassi
tt
ingont
he
f
loorwit
hherbackagai
nstt
hedoor
.
Me:
hey
Her
:mor
ning
Me:
school
?
Her
:myl
essonst
artat10
Inoddedt
henwentandsatbesi
desher
..
Me:I'
m surePhiwewil
lbeexci
tedt
ohav
ea
l
it
tl
ebrotherorsist
er
Her
:yeah
Me:communicati
onisver
yimpor
tant
Kr
is,
ignor
ingBandi
le.
.-
Her
:IknowI
'
m wr
ong,
asal
way
s
Me:
itsnotabouty
oubei
ngal
way
swr
ong
Her
:yeah
Me:whendi
dyouf
indoutt
haty
ouwer
e
pr
egnant
?
Her
:l
astweekend
Inodded.
.
Ist
oodup.
Me:
Im goi
ngt
ogot
akeashower
..
Iwal
kedoutleavi
ngheronthefl
oor.Walkingi
n
myroom Inoti
cedmyphoneringi
ng,Iwalked
uptoi
tanditwasmom. .Iwal
kedaway ,
l
eav i
ng
i
tri
ng.
.
KRI
S
.
Aft
erLeahleftf
orschoolIl
ockedmy selfi
nmy
ownthoughts.Communicati
oniskey,t
hatI
knowbutIfeelli
keBandi
lealwaysfai
lto
communicatewithme.Itookadeepbr eat
hasI
switchedonmyphone.Iwaswel comedby
dozensofmessages.Theonesf rom Bandi l
e
toldmehesangr y..Iplacedt hephonebesi des
me, event houghIwasangr yIwasgoi ngt olay
thef i
rstbr i
ck.It ookashowert hendr ov et ohis
housef inally.It ookadeepbr eat hbef ore
walkingi nside.Hewasn' tany wher ei nsightsoI
walkedar ound, andwentt othebedr oom.He
wasn' ttheret oo.Isatont hebed, tr
y i
ngt oput
myemot ionsi nor der.Fi nallyt hedoorswung
openandhewal kedi n.Hest oodbyt hedoor
l
ooki ngatme, get t
ingangr ybyt hemi nut e.I
stoodupashewal kedt owar dsme.Thel ookIn
hisey eswasn' tt heev erydayl ookI '
m usedt o,i
t
wast hatl ookwhi chpr ov edt omet hathewas
soangr y .Itookst epsbackashecl osedt he
gapebet weenus.Hest oodbef oremeasmy
backwasagai nstt hewal l,
breat hingf ire.This
broughtmymi ndbackt ot hedayhesl apped
me.
Hi
m:wher
ewer
eyou?
Heaskedsof
tl
yandcal
mly
..
Hi
m:Idontwantt
orepeatmy
sel
ftoy
ou
Me:
I..
Ineededspace
Hi
m:space?
Hechuckl
edt
hat"
don'
tfuckwi
thme"chuckl
e.
Hi
m:y
ouneededspacef
rom what
?
Me:
ever
ythi
ng
Hi
m:wher
e'smychi
l
d?
Me:
mom
Hi
m:soy
oul
eftmychi
l
dwi
thy
ourmom?
Me:
mymom wi
l
lnev
erhur
ther
Hi
m:t
hat
'snotwhatIsai
d..
Me:
itsoundedl
i
ket
hat
swhaty
ouwer
e
i
mply
ing
Hecli
ckedhi
stoungethenwalkedout
.I
f
oll
owedhim downst
airsbutpl
anwasIshoul
d
l
eave.Get
ti
ngdownstai
rshesatdownand
st
art
edwat
chi
ngTV.
Idi
dn'tknowwhattosaytohim,Idi
dn'tknowifI
shoul
dj ustt
ell
himthatI
'
m pregnantandtel
l
hi
mt hatswhyIneededspace.
Hi
m:howlongar
eyougoi
ngtostandt
her
eand
cr
yasifIdi
dsomet
hingt
oyou?
Il
ookedathi
m wi
pingmyt
ear
saway
.
Him:Idontknowwhatyouwantf
rom me
anymoresoj ustdomeafav
ourandl
eavemei
n
peace
Me:
Ishoul
dleav
e?
Hi
m:t
hat
swhatIsai
d..Leav
emyhouse
Me:
leav
eyourhouse?
Hegav
emeal
ookmaki
ngmel
augh.
.
Me:Iknowy
oumadandal
l.
.butl
egal
l
ythisi
s
al
somyhousesoi
fyoumad,t
her
eisthedoor
Hi
m: ohhsoy
ouf
inal
l
yremembert
haty
ouar
e
marr
ied?
Me:
I'
veal
way
sremember
edt
hat
..
Hi
m:r
eal
l
y?
Mylegsstart
edfeel
i
ngnumbthatIheldonto
thecouchthatwasi
nfr
ontofmeforsupport.
EventhoughhewasmadbutIcouldtel
lthe
concerni
nhiseyes.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Ifi
nal
lysai
d,Ihadjustdeci
dedIwasn'
tgoi
ngt
o
tel
lhi
mi mmedi at
ely.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
I
'mr
eal
l
ysor
ry
Isatdown,
tr
yingt
ofi
ghtof
fthefeel
ingof
numbnessIwasfeel
i
ngwithoutmakinghi
m
know.
Hi
m:whatexact
lydoy
ouwantf
rom me?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:comeher
e
It
ookadeepbreat
hbefor
estandi
ngupand
walki
ngt
owar
dshim,t
hensit
ti
ngonhisl
ap
i
gnoringhi
st ensebodyandthesmel l
of
ni
coti
nearoundhi m.Thefeel
ingofnumbness
wasjustpersist
ingmakingmef eel
weakinthe
pr
ocess.Hisbodyr el
axedaft
erawhi l
eashe
wrappedhishandsaroundme.
West ayedli
kethat,
IthinkImusthavefal
l
en
asleepbecausewhenIopenedmyey esIwas
onhi sbed,
coveredi
nasmal lbl
anket
.Ist
oodup
thenwalkedtothebat hroom t
owashmyf ace
asIhadabl urr
edv i
sion.
Ispl
ashedcoldwateronmyfacebutmyvi
sion
wasstil
ltr
oubl
e.Somethi
ngwaswr ongwi
th
me,Icoul
dfeeli
t.
.
Her
:ok.
.y
es!
yes.
thanky
ou
Het
henhungupandwal
kedt
owar
dsme.
.
Hi
m:wehav
ethev
enue.
.
Me:
great
!
Hi
m:y
oudontsoundexci
tedBunny
Me:Iam..j
usthav
eaheadache,
hadal
ongday
atschool
Leah:
l
etmegety
oupai
nki
l
ler
s
Shesai dstandingupandwal kingaway .Iwas
atmyhousewi thLeahandmyweddi ngplanner.
Thel astthr
eeweekshav ejustbeenonemess.I
couldn'tunderstandmyownbodyandmyown
husbandwashav inghi swaywi thev erythi
ng.
Bandi l
ehadsuggest edt hatwegetmar ri
ed
whiteweddi nginDecember .Ev erythingwas
j
ustgoi ngtoof astandIcoul dn'tseem t ost op
i
t,Iwasn'tupt oplanningaweddi ngi n3mont hs
andsomeweeksSoi nsteadBandi lehireda
weddi ngplannerandImustsayhewasgoodat
whathedoes.Hesi deaswer espl endi dashe
wouldsayandLeahandhi m cl i
ckedf r
om the
fi
rstday .Hehadal r
eadyt akenmeasur ement s
formygown.Mom di dntliket hefactt hatIwas
getti
ngmar r
iedhur ri
edly,Ialsodi dn'tbutonce
Bandi l
ehassethi smi ndt osomet hing,hewi l
l
getit.Hewasn' ttakingnof orananswerandi t
wasusel essfight
ingwi t
hhim butIdidn'tl
ov e
him anyless.Isti
lll
ovedhimt hesamewayIdi d
thelastt
hr eeyears,maybeevenmor e.Leah
camebackwi ththeglassofwat erand
painki
ll
ersandhandt hem ov
ertome.Idr ank
thepil
lsthentriedtofocusonwhat ,Donov an,
whatsay ing.
Hi
m:soy
ourbr
ideMai
dsar
eonl
y5?
Me:
yes
Hi
m:andi
tst
hosegi
rl
s?
Me:
yes
Hewasr ef
err
ingt
oKaraboandThabi
,
then
Leah,
AlexandNono.
Hi
m:ohmygoshBunny,
thi
sisgoi
ngy
obet
he
mostf
abul
ousweddi
ngever.
.
Il
aughed,
hewasj
usthi
l
ari
ous.
Isatt
her
easIwat
chedt
hem t
ryi
ngt
omakemy
weddi
ngaheav
enweddi
ng.
Latert
hatdayDonov
anwent
,l
eav
ingmewi
th
Leahonly.
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
you?
Shelookeddownt
henst
art
edpl
ayi
ngwi
thher
fi
ngersagai
n.
Me:
whati
sit
?
Her
:canwepl
easet
estf
ort
hel
astt
ime?
Me:
whydoy
ouwantt
odot
hist
oyour
sel
f?
Her
:f
ort
hel
astt
ime
Me:
sot
haty
ougetdepr
essedagai
n?
Her:
Ijustwantt
ocheckifnothi
ng'
shas
changedsoIcanstar
tconsider
ingI
VF
Me:
YouandQpl
anni
ngonhav
ingki
ds?
Her
:no.
.j
ustkeepi
ngadv
ances
Isi
ghed.
.
Me:
andQdoesn'
tknowabouti
tdoeshe?
Shel
ookeddownagai
n..
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
other
est
room
Isai
dstandingupandwal kingt
oMyr oom.
Gett
ingi
nsidethet
oiletIsawbloodonmypanty.
Myheartstoppedforami nutet
her
e..Bl
ood.Di
d
Il
osemybaby ?
.
Iheardt heknock,buti
twassof aintandI
couldn'tseem tostandupfrom thefloorwhere
Ihadcoi ledmybodyi nt
oasmal l bal
l,
Ihadbeen
i
nt hebat hroom f
oralmostanhournow.The
doorfinallyswungopenandLeahwal kedi
n..
Her
:heywhatar
e-
Herspeechgotcutof
fbymybl
oodypant
ies
t
hatwerebesidesme.
Her
:God!
Kri
sist
hat
..
didy
oul
oset
hebaby
?
Icoul dn'
tstopthet earthatescapedmyey es.
Shewal kedupt omeandhel dmei nherar ms.I
feltnumb, Ifel
ttootiredtocry .
.Il
ayst i
l
l,vi
sion
blurri
ngasmyey esbecamemi st
.Carefull
yI
l
istenedt omyhear tbreak,i
ntosmal l
pieces.It
didn'tmakenoi se,itjustbrokesil
entlyleaving
medest royedandshut t
ered.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
FI
NALI
NSERT
¥PART2¥
KRI
S
.
.
Leahsqueezedmyhandaswewait
edf orthe
resul
ts.Iwasr
est
lesst
hepr
evi
ousnight.I
couldn'
tbeli
eveIlostmybaby,mymi ndcouldn'
t
acceptitsoLeahjustdeci
dedwecomeher e
aft
ermyl essonsandseeifIreal
lydi
dl osethe
babyandwhatmademel oseit
.Iwasgl adI
di
dn'ttell
Bandil
ebecauseatleastnowhe
doesn'thavetodealwit
hthelossofababy .The
doctorfi
nall
ycame.
Dr
:Mr
sThul
ani
?
Ir
aisedmyhand.
Me:
ri
ghther
e
Dr
:f
oll
owmemam
Il
ookedatLeahwhogav
eaal
i
ghtki
ssonmy
cheek.
Her
:dontwor
ry,
Iwi
l
lber
ighther
e
Ismi
l
edt
henf
oll
owedt
hedoct
or.
Gett
ingi
ntheoff
icehegest
uredt
hatItakea
seat
.Isatdowntaki
ngi
nadeepbreath.
Dr
:howar
eyouMr
sThul
ani
?
Me:
Idon'
tknowhowIf
eel
Dr
:Icani
magi
ne
Me:
i
smybabygone?
Dr:
weransometestonyou.
.sur
prisi
ngl
ythey
showedusthaty
ouwereneverpregnant
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
nicej
oke
Dr
:I
'm seri
ous,
youwer
eneverpr
egnant
,the
bl
oody ousawwasyournor
malper
iods
Il
ookedathi
m conf
usednow.
Me:
butI
..
thesi
gns
Dr:
thatswhatwearetr
yingtoget
now,somethi
ngmightbegoingonwi
thyour
bodysowear egoi
ngtor unafewmor
eteston
you
Me:
whatdoy
out
hinkmi
ghtbewr
ongwi
thme?
Dr:I
'
m notgoi
ngtogi
veaconcl
usi
onunti
lI
'm
real
lysur
esofornowIal
sodon'
tknow
Inodded.
.
Dr:
dontworry
,wewil
lfi
ndoutwhat
'
swr
ongwi
th
you.
.t
hatIcanassur
eyouof
Inodded.
.
.
Her
:whatdoy
oumeany
ouwer
enev
erpr
egnant
?
Leahaskedaswedrov
eawayf r
om t
hehospi
tal
.
Iwasmassagingmyarm whi
chwasstar
ti
ngto
feel
numb.
Me:appar
entl
ythetest
sshowsthatIwasnev
er
pr
egnant.
.t
heyarer
unningmor
et est
Leah:
whenar
eyougoi
ngt
otel
lBandi
l
e?
Me:whent
her
esul
tscomeback,
may
bei
ts
not
hing
Leah:Ihopei
tsnot
hing.
.What
'
swr
ongwi
th
yourarm?
Me:
i
tfeel
sabitnumb,
Ithi
nkIdi
dn'
tsl
eepon
t
heri
ghtposi
ti
on
Leah:
Iwil
lpassbyaphar
macyandbuysome
massagi
ngoil
..
Me:
yeah.
.
Arri
vi
nghomewef oundBandi
lescarpar
kedby
thegate.Yest
erdayIdi
dn'
tsl
eephomebutI
tol
dhim.IlookedatLeah.
.
Me:
pleasedontt
ell
him
Her
:ok
It
ooki
nadeepbr
eat
h..
Igotoutoft
hecarandwal kedtohis.Hewas
busyonhisphone.Ipokedhim soheshif
tshi
s
att
enti
ontome.
Me:
hey
Heplacedthephonedownt henst
eppedoutof
t
hecarandwal kedtowardsme.Heburiedme
i
nhischestbeforesayi
ngawor di
ntoxi
cati
ng
mewi t
hhisCologne.
Hi
m:hey
Hesai
dki
ssi
ngmyf
orehead.
Me:
whendi
dyougether
e?
Isai
dst
eppi
ngawayf
rom t
heembr
ace.
Hi
m:af
ewmi
nut
esago
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Hi
m:dontbe.
.canwego?
Me:
ummhy
eah,
l
etmei
nfor
m Leah
Iwal
kedt
owar
dsLeahwhowasst
il
li
nthecar
.
Me:
hey
,I
'm goi
ng
Her
:ok
Iwalkedbackt
oBandil
ewhowasal r
eady
openingt
hedoorforme.Igoti
nsi
deandsodi
d
he.Hedrovebacktohi
shouse.
Hi
m:wher
ewer
eyouguy
s?
Me:
wewentt
othehospi
tal
Hi
m:ev
ery
thi
ngok?
Me:
yeah
Hi
m:howi
stheweddi
ngcomi
ng?
Me:
goodbutcost
ly
Hi
m:moneyi
sn'
tapr
obl
em
Inodded,
ofcausemoneyi
sn'
tapr
obl
em t
ohi
m.
Hi
m: i
tsFri
day
,doy
ouhav
epl
ansf
ort
he
weekend?
Me:
no
Hi
m:okt
henwef
lyi
ngt
oDur
ban
Me:
busi
ness?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:no.
.f
orus
It
urnedandl
ookedathi
m..
Me:
forus?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Ismil
ed,Il
ovedthei
dea.Maybespacef
rom
ever
ythi
ngwasjustwhatIneeded.
Me:
I'
dlov
ethat
Hetookmyhandandki sseditmakingmyface
bur
n.Getti
ngtohishousehemademet akea
qui
ckshowerwithhim buti
twasn'taver
y
i
nnocentshower,
hedidn'
tcarei
fIwasonmy
per
iodsornot,
i
tdidn'
tbotherhi
m somehow.
AfterbathingImadeuswearmat chi
ng
clothes,
webot hwor eblackr
eapedj eans,a
blackT-shirt
,blackAdidassneakerswi t
h
mi l
it
aryjackets.Ial
sopackedov ernightsbags
forus.
Me:
Il
ikei
twhenwewearmat
chi
ngcl
othes
Isai
daswesati
nhi
spr
ivat
ejet
.
Hi
m:Il
ovei
twheny
ouar
ehappy
Ismi
l
edbecausesodi
dI.
Heki
ssedmyfor
eheadmaki
ngmef
eel
li
keI
'
m
t
heonlywomani
ntheworl
d.
Hi
m:keagor
ata
Ilaughedathi
saccent,
itsoundedwei
rdbutat
thesamet i
meitsoundedspecial
.
Me:
lennakeagor
ata
Hesmiledthatsmi
l
ethat
smyv
erybi
ggest
weakness.
Me:I'
m gl
adyouar
eamil
l
ionai
re.
.Tr
avel
l
ing
doesn'
thavet
obehar
d
Isai
dasanai
rhost
esst
oldust
odoour
seat
bel
ts.
Him:i
fIdidn'
tknowbet
terIwoul
dsayy
ouar
ea
gol
ddigger
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
Iam.
.ni
ggai
mmar
eapy
ouof
f!
Hel
aughed.
Hi
m:Iknowyouar
edanger
ous,
youoncest
ole
myRolexwat
ch
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
ther
e'sadi
ff
erencebet
weenst
eal
i
ngand
t
aki
ng,Ij
ustt
ookit
Hi
m:t
aki
ngwi
thoutaski
ngi
scal
l
edst
eal
i
ngsi
si
Me:
Iasked.
.i
nmyhear
tandy
ousai
dyes
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:Ineedt
ost
artbei
ngcar
eful
aroundy
ou
Me:
mxm.
.Iwi
l
lst
il
ltake
Thej ourneytoDurbanwasn'tt
hatlong.Getti
ng
there,acarwasal r
eadyparkedwaiti
ngforus
butt her
ewasnodr i
ver
.Bandil
edroveust othe
hotel weweresupposedtogo.Gett i
ngthereI
threwmy sel
fonthebed.
Hi
m:ar
eyouhungr
y?
Ishookmyhead.
.
Me:
no.
.I
'
mfi
nebutwecanal
way
sdr
ivear
ound
Hi
m:ok,
l
et'
sgo.
.
Hesphoner
angaswegott
othecar
.
Hi
m:l
etmet
aket
hisbabe
Hesaidgivi
ngmethecarkey
sthenexcused
himsel
ffr
om me.Iwal
kedtothecarandgotat
thedri
ver
sseat
.Il
ookedathim ashetal
kedon
thephoneandaccor di
ngtohisfaci
al
expressi
onIcouldtell
itwasntsogood.Aft
era
whil
ehewal kedtowardsmet hengotatt
he
passengersseat
.
Hi
m:dr
ivi
ng?
Hesai
dashesat
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Ist
art
edt
hecart
hendr
ovear
ound.
.
Hi
m:howwasschool
today
?
Me:itwasok.
.nexty
eahI
'
m gr
aduat
ing.
.I'
m so
exci
ted
Hi
m:Ican'
twai
ttoseey
oui
ncour
t
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Ican'
twai
ttoseemy
sel
ftoo.
Aswedr oveIsawasi gnwrit
tenfort
unetel
ler
.I
havealwaysbeenfascinat
edbyt hi
skindof
thi
ngs.Ist
oppedthecarandl ookedatBandil
e.
Hi
m:no!
Idon'
tdopsy
chi
cshi
t!
Me:
babepl
ease
Hi
m:no!
star
tthecar
Me:
Bandi
l
epl
ease.
.Ndi
l
ebabe.
.
Hi
m:Kr
ist
in!
Ir
emovedt
heseat
bel
tthenwentonandsaton
hi
slap.
.
Me:
j
ustami
nut
epl
ease.
.
Isai
dki
ssi
nghi
sli
ps.
.
Hi
m:Kr
isno.
.
Me:
please.
.
Isai
dtaki
nghishandst
omyassandpressi
ng
myboobsagainsthi
schestwhi
l
eki
ssi
nghis
neck.Hesqueezedmyass.
.
Me:
please.
.
Hi
m:ami
nut
eonl
y.
.
Ismiledopeni
ngthedoor
.Igotoffhim and
steppedoutsi
de.I
twasabitwindy.
Hegotoutt oofixinghisjeans,
hewasal ready
hard.Wewal kedinsidethebuildi
ngafter
l
ockingthedoor s,
Ihaveal waysimagi
nedt his
pl
acest obescar yandmy st
eri
ousbutt hi
s
wasn'tevenmy steri
ous,okmay beali
ttl
ebi t
cri
ppy.Wewal kedt owardsthedoor..
Ndi
l
e:i
m notf
eel
i
ngt
hisKr
is
Me:
j
ustami
nut
e
Iknockedsoftlyt
henav oicecommandedmet o
comei n.Iopenedthedoorwi deandmyey es
wer emetbyawoman' sey es.Shelookedl
i
ke
shewasi nherearlyt
hir
ties.Shewaswearinga
blackdressseati
ngonthef loor
.
Me:
shoul
dwet
akeof
fourshoesof
f?
Shegav
emeasl
i
ghtsmi
l
enoddi
ng.
Wet ookoffourshoesbutBandi
l
ewasabi
t
r
eluctant
.
Me:
Bandi
l
e!
Icoul
dfeel
niggawant
edt
oleav
eal
ready
.We
walkedi
nsi
det henwealsosatonthef
loor
.The
room wasl
ightedwit
hcandlesar
oundandjust
hadweirdt
hingshangingar
ound.
Me:
hi
Her
:hel
l
o
Shesai
d,herv
oicewasv
erydeepbutsmoot
h.
Me:
weher
eso-
Her
:t
oknowy
ourdest
iny
..
Shef
ini
shedmysent
ence.
Me:
yes.
.t
oknowourdest
iny
Her
:mynamei
sSoni
a
Me:
Kri
sandt
hisi
s
Her
:Bandi
l
e,y
ousai
dhi
sname
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Her
:yourhand
Igavehermyhandthenshecl
osedher
eyes,
medit
ati
ngIguess.I
twasreal
l
y
fasci
nati
ngconsider
ingIhav
eonlysaw
somethingli
kethisi
nthemov i
esonl
y.Iwas
ful
lyconcent
rat
ingonwhatshewasdoi ng.
Her
:youhav
ear
eal
l
ybi
ghear
t
Me:
i
sthatpar
tofmyf
utur
e?
Shesof
tl
ylaughedopeni
ngherey
es
Her :
no.
.Icanjustf
eel i
t.
.yourfutur
eisabit
tr
ickytoreadmeani ngitcanal wayschange.
.I
seelove,l
otsof
l
ov e,
pai
n,gri
ef,
secrets,
heartbr
eak..
Shekeptqui
teagai
n,
Iwasst
art
ingt
oget
scar
ed..
Me:
ummhi
s-
Her
:shhh.
..
anddeat
h!
Ipul
l
edmyhandf
rom heri
mmedi
atel
y.
.
Me:
what
?
Her
:Iseedeat
h,gr
ieff
oll
owedbydeat
h
Me:
no.
.who'
sdy
ing?
Ndl
e:l
et'
sgo
Her
:thef
utur
ecanal
way
schange.
.Kr
isy
ou-
Bandil
ewasal r
eadyupanddr aggingmeout .
Wewor eourshoesandwal kedout ,andwent
str
aighttothecar..Iwasshaken,Iwon'tli
e.Her
voi
cest i
l
l echoedinmyhead,Ididn'treal
izeI
wasshaki nguntil
Bandil
eheldmet ightl
y.
.
Hi
m:hey
..
babei
t'
sok
Me:
I..
I.
.
Hi
m:i
tsok.
.I
'
m her
e
Hehuggedmet
ight
ly.
.
Gett
ingbackatthehot
elIwassti
l
l shaken.I
kepthear
inghervoi
ceoverandoverinmyhead.
Bandi
l
e:st
il
lshaken?
Ishookmyheadno.
.
Hesatbesi
desmeont
hebed.
.
Hi
m:don'
tl
ethergett
oyou
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:Idontbel
i
evei
nthatki
ndoff
ucker
y
Me:
cl
ear
ly
Him:yes.
.pl
easedontl
ethergett
oyou,
she'
s
notGod
Me:
ok
Hi
m:good
Iwasn'
tgoi
ngt
olethergett
ome.
Him:I
'm goi
ngt
ogetsomet
hingf
rom t
he
car,
wil
lyoubeok?
Me:
yes.
.
IGavehim anassuri
ngsmi l
e.Hesi ghedthen
walkedout
.Ashedi dt hatIstr
ippedmycl othes
offandgotinsi
dethebat hroom, andstrai
ghtto
theshower.Iopenedthecol dtap,coldwaterhi
t
mybodyt i
ghteni
ngev erymuscl e.Istoodunder
theshowerforawhilet r
yingtogett heSonia
char
act
eroutf
rom myhead.
Aftertaki
ngashowerIwal kedoutwi thatowel
aroundmybody .Bandi
lewasn'tin.Iworemy
gownt henloti
onedmybody .Af t
erthat,
Ifi
nall
y
sawf ood.Iwalkedtoitandstart
edeat i
ng.I
didn'
treali
zeIwashungr yunt
ilIstart
edeating.
Ihadn'teatenanythi
ngeversi
ncet oday..
BandilecamewhenIwashal f
waywi theat
ing.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hey
..
wher
edi
dyougo?
Hi
m:somewher
e..
Ij
ustl
ookedathi
mthenbackt
omyf
ood.
Hi
m:di
dyoueatany
thi
ngt
oday
?
IshookmyheadasIhadf
oodI
nmymout
h.
Hi
m:y
oucanr
eal
l
yeat
Hesai
dwhenIwasdone,
nott
hatIwi
pedaway
t
hewholepl
ate.
Me:
youdi
dn'
tknow?
Hi
m:I
'
m sur
pri
sed
Ist
oodupandsodi
dhe.
.
Hi
m:dr
essup,
I
'mt
aki
ngy
ousomewher
e
Me:
i
tsl
ate
Hi
m:It
hinkIknowt
hat
Me:
yes,
l
et'
ssl
eep
Hewal
kedovert
otheov
erni
ghtbagandt
hrew
adr
essatme.
Hi
m:dr
essup
Me:youareacont
rolfr
eakBandil
eThul
ani
,
I'
m
sur
ey ouwer
eabullyatschool
Hel
aughed.
.
Hi
m:pl
easedr
essup
Istoodupandslippedt hegownoff,
heseyes
burntmyskinasIdr essedup.Icoul
dseehe
wantedmebuthecont rol
ledhi
mself.Iwor
emy
fl
ipflopsaf
terdr
essing.
Hi
m:l
et'
sgo
Hesai dsti
cki
ngouthishandt ome.It ookit
thenwewal kedout,andwentst r
aighttothecar.
Hedr oveustothebeach.I twasdar kbutthe
moonl i
ghtwasmanagi ngpr et
tywel ltoref
lect
.
Wegotoutoft hecart henwalkedunt i
lwe
stoppedatsomespot .Wesatdownt hereas
thecool br
eezehitmyski nli
ghtly.Il
aymyhead
onhischestwhilehehel dmet ightly
.
Hi
m:Iknowy
ouwentt
oseeadoct
or.
.
Hesai
dcal
mly
..
Hi
m:Iknowy
out
houghty
ouwer
epr
egnant
Myhear
tst
oppedf
orawhi
l
ether
e..
Hi
m:Iknowher
anmor
etest
sony
ou
Ikeptqui
te,
notknowi
ngwhatt
osay
..
Him:Idontunderstandwhyyoukeepthiskind
ofstufff
rom me..Whatifyouhadreal
lylostthe
baby..
werey ouevergoi
ngtotel
lme?I'
mt rying
tounderstandwhyy oual
waysshiel
dmef r
om
t
het
rut
h..
pleasehel
pmeunder
stand
Hepul
ledmesoIsitonhi
slapt
hent
il
tedmy
headt
hatIl
ookathim.
.
Him:hel
pmeunder st
andwhyy oudoit
,Idont
underst
andbecauseI'
m alwayst
ryi
ngtoprove
howmuchIl oveyoubutyoukeeponpushing
meaway ..
whatisi
t?t
ell
me. .
.Isi
tme?am I
makingthi
ngshardforyou?
Ishookmyhead,
Idi
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
..
Hi
m:t
henwhati
sit
?
Me:
I..
I.
.Idontwantt
owor
ryy
ou
Him:butI'
m alwaysworr
iedattheendofthe
day,I
'
m alwaystry
ingtofi
gureoutwhat'
swrong
eachdaybecauseev er
ytimeIaskwhat'
swr ong
youtell
mei tsnothi
ngwhil
edeepdowny ou
breaki
ng
Iwasget
ti
ngr
eal
l
yemot
ional
.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Isai
d,wi
thmyv
oicebar
elyaudi
ble.
.
Hi
m:Idontgeti
t.
.whyar
eyouapol
ogi
zi
ng?
Me: Idontwantyoutost opyourl
if
eforme,I
dontwanty outolacksleepforme,Idontwant
youbr eaki
ngforme..Ican'
tbarei
t.
.t
hat'
swhy,I
hatethepainIseeiny oureyes
Hi
m:thatssel
fi
sh..That
sbei
ngself
ish,
Ial
ready
l
acksleepbecauseofyouandyoursecr
ets
Me:
whatdoy
ouwantmet
osay
?
Him:may
behowabouty
out
ell
mewhyy
ouar
e
sel
fi
sh
Ist
oodup,
Icoul
dn'
ttakei
tany
mor
e.
Hi
m:y
ouknowy
oucan'
trunawayf
rom t
his
Iwalkedaway,Iwalkedbackwithmyheav y
heart
.Iknowhesr i
ghtbutIhateitwhenhe
worry,
Ihatei
twhenhef eel
shopel ess.Getti
ng
tothecarIsatdownbesidesitl
eani ngagainst
i
t.Hehadt hecarkeysandthecarwasl ocked
soIjusthadtowaitforhi
m.
Ibur i
edmyheadbet weenmyl egst ryingt obe
strong, tryi
ngt okeepi ttoget her ,t
ryingt o
i
gnor et heheav yfeelingi nmyhear t.Hecame
afterawhi le, hedi dn'tsayany thingj ust
unlockedt hecart henhel pedmest andupand
openedt hedoorf orme.Igoti nsideandsodi d
he.Thedr iv ebackhomewassi l
ent .Icoul dn't
stopt het ear s,silentl
yIl ett hem fallasIl ooked
outt hrought hecl osedwi ndow.Get tingt ot he
hotel Igotof ft hecarl eav inghi m behi nd.
Get t
ingi nsidet her oom, Itookof fthef lipflops
thencr awl edi ntot hebedandcov eredmy self
withaduv et.Thatni ghtIsi l
entlycriedmy selft
o
sleepont hecol dbed, all alone.Waki ngupt he
foll
owi ngday ,
hesar mswer ewr appedar ound
me, holdingmet ightlyasal ways.Hewasst i
ll
asleep,myey eswer eheav y.Il
ayt her e,not
mov i
ng.Iwasn' tgoingt owakehi m up, atleast
nott oday .Ist ay edi nhi sar msunt ilthesun
startedr eflect ingt her oom.Iguesst hat swhat
wokehi m upbecauseIf el thim mov et henhe
l
oosenedhisgr
ipbutst
il
lhel
dme.Ikeptqui
te,
t
henclosedmyeyes.
Hi
m:Iknowy
ouar
eawake
Hesai
dtur
ningmesoIl
ookathi
m.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ryImadey
oucr
y
Me:
no.
.don'
tbe,
itsme
Hi
m:communicati
oni
sver
yimpor
tanti
na
r
elat
ionshi
pbabe
Me:
Iknow
Hi
m:goodbecauseIdontwantt
obedealing
wi
thsecr
etsagai
n..
itendst
oday,
now.
.r
ight?
Inodded.
.
Hi
m:sayi
t
Me:
i
tendst
oday
Hi
m: good,
nextt
imeIwillf
uckyouhar
dyouwi
l
l
r
egretitf
ortherestofy
ourli
fe
Hewasn'
tj
oki
ngbutwhathesai
dmademy
f
acebur
n.
Heki
ssedmyey
es.
.
Hi
m:y
ouhav
ebaggyey
es
Hethenkissedmyl i
ps,maki
ngmef eelevery
momentofi t.Hi
stoungecoaxedmyt ounge,
makingmel oseit
.Hemov edhishandsfrom
mywai stt
omyt highspar
ti
ngthem sohes
bet
weent hem.
.
Ther estoftheweekendwasfun,Ihadpushed
thethoughtofsomet hi
ngmightbewr ongwit
h
meatt hebackofmymi ndandfocusedonhim
andI.Comi ngbacktoJohannesburgonSunday
night
,Iknewi twasbacktor
eali
ty.Bandil
e
droppedmeatschool onMonday.
Hi
m:Iwil
lbeher
eaf
tery
oudonewi
thy
our
l
essons
Me:
ok
Heki
ssedmyl
i
psbr
ief
lybef
orer
eleasi
ngme.I
walkedtomylect
urehall
,wai
ti
ngforthel
ectur
er.
Thedayactual
lywasjustokunti
lIwasinthe
carwit
hLeahwaiti
ngforBandil
e.
.
Her
:shesai
dthat
?
Me:y
eah.
.l
otsof
l
ove,
pai
n,
grief
,secr
ets,
hear
tbr
eakanddeat
h
Her
:wow!
Me:
yeah
Her
:t
hatsoundsScar
y
Me:
Iknow,Bandi
l
ecoul
dn'
tst
andi
t,
hedr
agged
meoutoft
here
Her:
Iwouldtoo..
let'
sst
optal
ki
ngabout
depr
essi
ngthings,howwasqual
it
yti
me?
Ibl
ushedmaki
ngherl
augh.
.
Her
:t
hisni
ggai
shi
tt
ingi
tgood
Me:
stopi
t.
.
Her:
I'
m ser
ious.
.SayBandi
l
eandy
ourf
ace
t
urnsred
Me:
stopi
t!
Her
:any
way
s..Weneedt
ogof
orourf
it
ti
ng
Me:
mygowni
sal
readyr
eady
?
Her:
no..
our
s,t
hebri
demaids.
.Ican'
twai
t.
Donovansai
dtheyarepr
ett
yAF!
Me:
i
tsf
abbbdar
ls.
.
Ii
mitatedhi
m maki
ngusbr
eaki
ntopi
eceswi
th
l
aughter.
Her:
yousoundmuchbet
tert
hany
oudi
don
Fr
iday
Me:
yeah.
.
Shecont
inuedt
alki
ngaboutt
heweddingplans
andhowmuchshel ov
esDonovan'
sideas.
Af
terawhi
l
eBandi
l
escarpul
l
edbesi
desLeah'
s.
Me:
seey
ou
Her
:by
e
Iwal
kedt
ohi
scart
hengoti
n.
Me:
hey
Him:
hey,
I'
m passingbysomeonehouse.
.Itwi
l
l
onl
ytakesomef ewminutes
Me:
ok
Hestar
tedthecarthenhedrovetowherev
erhe
wasdri
vingto.Heparkedbythegat
e,t
hengot
out
.
Hi
m:st
ayput
!
Hesai dbef orewalkinginsidethegat e.Isatin
thecarpat i
ent l
ywai ti
ngforhim.Hecameout
afterawhi l
ewi thabl oodyT-shirtandabr uised
face.Hel ookedr eall
ypissed,Iwasev enscar ed
toask.Ihav enev erseenhi ml i
ket hi
sev ersince
wemet .Hedr ovelikeamani achome, Ij
usthel d
i
nt otheseat beltscaredformyl ife.Igotoutof
thecarf i
rstwhenwegothomeandwal kedt o
thedoor .Ifi
ldedwi ththekeysasmyhands
wer
etr
embl
i
nguncont
rol
l
abl
y.
Fi
nall
yIunl
ockedthedoorandst
agger
edinsi
de.
Hewalkedi
nafterawhil
ebuthewasonthe
phone.
Hi
m:t
ell
him Iwil
lfuckhi
m upt
hatheswhol
e
f
amil
ywill
feeli
t.
.
Hest one,itwasenought omakemedr agmy
feettot hekit
chentoav oi
dhi m.Hewal ked
upstairsasIstartedcooking.Idi
dn'tcook
anythingspecial,
justpapwi t
hbeefst ew.I
walkedupst air
stot hebedroom.Itookadeep
breathasIopenedt hedoor.Hewassi tt
ingon
thebedbusyi nhisphone,i
nhi st
rackpant sonl
y.
Me:
hey
Hest
oodupandwal
kedt
owar
dsme.
Me:
ummhdi
nneri
sready
Hi
m:I
'm sor
ry.
.y
oushoul
dn'
thav
ewi
tnessed
t
hat
Hesai
dcar
essi
ngmyf
acesof
tl
y.
Me:
isev
ery
thi
ngok?
Him:ev
eryt
hingi
sokbabe,
j
usthadt
osetan
example
Me:
let
'sgoeat
Hesmi l
edthenkissedme.Di
nnerwasok,
he
act
edlikenothi
nghadhappened,l
i
keever
ythi
ng
wasjustnormal.
Me:
doy
ouhav
efi
rstai
dki
t?
Iaskedashesey
ewasswol
l
ennow
Hi
m:y
eah.
.pant
ry
Igotoffbedwewereprepar
ingtosl
eep.Igot
thefi
rstai
dkitt
henwentbacktothebedroom.
Me:
thi
sisgoi
ngt
ost
ingabi
t
Isaidtaki
ngthecot
tonthatIhaddi
ppedi
n
disi
nfectspi
ri
ttohi
seye.
Het
ooki
tal
ll
ikeabi
gman.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry,
didIhur
tyou?
Hi
m:no.
.comel
et'
ssl
eep
Hesaidpl
aci
ngthefi
rstai
dki
tont
hef
loorand
pul
l
ingmeinhisar
ms.
Event
houghIwasshakenabi
tbutIsl
eptsaf
ely
i
nhisarmsyetagai
n.
.
Isatbesi
desBandi
l
easthedoct
orwent
thr
oughmyf i
l
e.Mytestr
esul
tswer
eback.
Dr
:r
ight
..
Kri
sti
nMacv
-
Bandi
l
e:Thul
ani
Dr:
yes.
.Kr
ist
inThul
ani
.
.ummhy
ourr
esul
tsar
e
back.
.
Icl
osedmyey
eswai
ti
ngt
oher
eit
..
Dr:youhavebr
aincancer
,i
tseemedli
kewhen
theyremovedt
hetumoritwasalr
eady
cancerous
Mymindzonedout
..
thewordcancerrangagai
n
andagai
ninmyhead.Notagai
n.Icouldn'
tgo
t
hrought
hat
..
notagai
n.
Iwasbroughtbackt
oear
thbyBandi
l
esof
tl
y
shaki
ngme.
Hi
m:babe.
.
Il
ookedathi
m..
Dr:shemightnotsur
vivethesurger
ybecausei
t
hasspreadtoherspinalcordandit
'sonthel
ast
stage
Istoodup,f
eeli
ngt oonumb.Ev er
ythi
ngjust
stopped,mywhol eworldstopped.Iwal
kedout
andwentst r
aighttothecarleavi
nghim wit
hthe
doctor.Hefoundmewai t
ingforhi
m outsi
de.
Hi
m:y
ouar
egoi
ngt
obeok
Me:
nott
hist
ime.
.Nott
hist
imeBandi
l
e..
Hehuggedme,
j
ustl
i
kemeheknewmyf
ate.
.
Hi
m:i
tsgoi
ngt
obef
ine.
Me:
youknowt
hat
'snott
rue.
.
Al
lthi
sregi
ster
edi
nmyheadt
hemor
eIsai
dit
.
Me:
takemehome
Hedr ov
eushome, get
ti
ngt her
eIwal kedtot
he
bedroom andst r
aighttothebat hroom and
l
ockedmy sel
finsidethere.Icouldn'tstopmy
tear
s..Wit
hshaki nghandsIdi aledmoms
number.Sheanswer edafterawhi le..
Me:
mom.
.canIpl
easet
alkt
omypr
incess
Her
:ar
eyouok?
Me:
yeah.
.
Her
:ok,
wai
t
Shewentsi
l
entforawhi
l
ethenf
inal
l
yIhear
d
Phi
wesbabytal
ks.
Me:
baby
?baby
..Cany
ouhearme?
itsmommy
..
Shest
art
edgi
ggl
i
ng.
.
Iwi
pedawaymyt
ear
scl
umsl
y.
.
Me:
doy
oumi
ssmebaby
?
Shecont
inuedl
aughi
ngandgiggl
i
ng.All
Iever
wishedf
orisanor
mal l
i
fe,
anormall
if
eli
ke
any
oneel
se'
sli
fe.Ihungupt
henbr
okei
ntoa
l
oudcr
y.
Ihear
daknockont
hedoor
,asof
tknock.
.
Ndi
l
e:Kr
is.
.babeopenup
Isatst
il
l,
wit
hmyt
ear
srol
l
ing.
.
Ndi
l
e:babepl
ease.
.I'
m beggi
ngy
ou
Hesvoicewasabi tstrai
ned.Thiswasbr
eaki
ng
hi
m.Afterawhil
eIf inall
ystoodupand
unl
ockedthedoor.Hegoti nside.
.
Ismi
l
ed,
Ihadf
inal
l
yaccept
edi
t.
.
Me:
i
tsov
erf
orme
Hi
m:don'
tsayt
hat
..
theyar
est
il
lrunni
ngmor
e
t
ests
Me:
canceri
scancer
..
Hi
m:comeher
e
Hesai
ddr
aggi
ngmeout
..
Hi
m:Idontwanty
out
oloseal
lhope,
Iwi
l
lcal
l
somepeopl
e..Thebesti
nthegame.
.
Iknewhewouldobviouslybuti
twasjustwast
e
ofti
meandmoneybecauseatt hi
sstagei
t
mightcomeback.Nothingwasgoingtosave
met hi
sti
mearound,notevenachemo.
.
Il
ookedatt
hegl
assofwat
ert
hatwasi
nfr
ont
ofme.
Ndi
l
e:dr
inkt
hepi
l
lsbabe
Iwashavingaheadache,
sohehadbr
oughtme
pai
nki
ll
ers.
Icoul
dn'
ttel
lhi
m myhandsfel
tnumb,
Icoul
dn'
t
tel
lhi
m Icoul
dn'
tpi
ckupthegl
ass.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
ok
I
thadbeenaweeksi ncewefoundoutandit
hadn'
tbeenagreatweekhonest
ly.Wehadn'
t
tol
danyoneyetbecauseIdi
dn'
twantanyone
knowingasyet.Phi
wewascomingtoday
.Iwas
happy,
Ineededtospendasmuchti
mewi t
hmy
daughter
.
Helookedatme,notbr
eakingeyecont
actt
hen
f
inal
lystoodupandtooktheglass.
Hi
m:openy
ourhand.
.
Sl
owlyIopenedi
t,
itf
eltasi
fli
kemyhandswer
e
l
osi
ngtheirf
unct
ion.
Hetookt
hepi
ll
sfr
om myhand,Iopenedmy
mouthashemademedri
nkthem.
Hekissedawayt hetearthathadescapedmy
eye.Hewast ryi
ngtobest rongbutIcouldsee
thi
swasbr eaki
nghim.Hehadsentmyr esul
ts
toseveraldoct
orsoverseesbuttheresponse
wasjustthesame.Iwon' tsurvi
veit
.
Hi
m:t
her
e'snot
hingwr
ongwi
thaski
ngf
orhel
p
Inodded.
.
Hesatbesi
desmepull
ingmeunt
ohislap.I
wassl
owlylosi
ngwei
ghtandmyfacewas
becomi
ngpal
e.Thev
isual
troubl
eswer
e
becomi
ngworse.
Me:
Icanf
eel
myowndeat
hcomi
ng
Hi
m:deat
hist
hel
astt
hingf
ory
oubabe.
.
Hesaidki
ssi
ngmyforehead.Hewastr
yingt
o
conv
incehi
msel
fmore,t
hanconvi
nci
ngme.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ousoomuch
Me:
Il
ovey
oumor
e
Forthefi
rstt
imeeverIf
elthistearonmy
for
ehead,
Icouldn'
tst
opmi netoothatmoment
.
.
LaterthatdayBandi l
ewentpi ckupPhi we.He
hadsentoneofhi swor ker
st ogofetchher
fr
om mom.Themomentshesawme, herfaci
al
expressionwasj ustenought osendmet o
heavenst r
aightaway .Mypoorbabywasj ustso
happy.Bandi l
eplacedheronmyl ap,the
numbnesswassl owl
ywear ingoffsoIcoul dat
l
eastt r
yholdingherpr oper
ly.
Me:
heybaby
..
bigbaby
Shewasjustgi
ggl
i
ngassal
i
vadr
ippedf
rom her
mouth.
.
Bandi
l
etookt
hewi
perandwi
pedherl
i
ps.
Hi
m:Mma'
Nyaeai
scomi
ngt
ohel
pyou
Inoddedlooki
ngatPhi
we,
ithur
tknowi
ngt
hatI
coul
dn'tt
akecareofmyownbaby.
Hi
m:I
'
m goi
ngoutf
orawhi
l
eok.
.
Me:
yeah.
.Phi
weandIwi
l
lhav
efun
Hesmi
l
edt
henki
ssedmycheek.
Hi
m:t
omor
rowwewi
l
lgot
othepar
kasaf
ami
l
y
Me:t
hatwi
l
lbeni
ce,
I
'm sur
eyouwi
l
llov
eit
..
ri
ght
baby
?
Hesti
ckedaroundf
orawhi
let
il
lMma'
Nyar
a
ar
ri
vedthat
swhenhelef
t.
Me:
goodmor
ningMma'
Nyar
a
Her
:goodmor
ningKr
is,
howar
eyou?
Me:
coul
dn'
tbebet
ter
..
Shestart
edcleani
ng.Af
tersomet i
meshewas
done.Shespentthewholedaywith
me,checkingonmeeverychancesheget
sbut
I
'm surethatwer
eBandil
esorders.
Her:
herpur
it
yisal
mostf
ini
shed.
.Letme
i
nfor
m..-
Me:
nodontwor
ry,
Iwi
l
ldr
ivet
otheshops
Her
:Bandi
l
esai
dI.
.-
Me:Iwi
ll
bef i
ne,
besi
desit
'sj
usta20mi
nut
es
dr
iveaway.
.Iwil
lbebacknownow..
I
twasar ound1700hr
sandhewassti
l
lnot
back,
myguesswashewasatwor ksi
ncehe
hadbeenspendingmostofhi
sti
mewithme
thepastweek.
Me:
Iwi
l
ldoi
t
Isai
dstandingup,thenumbnesshadn'
t
complet
elydisappearedandmyvisi
onwasabi
t
hazybutIcouldn'
tletthatst
opme.
Istoodup,wentupstair
stryi
ngsohar dnotto
tr
iponmyownf eet.Itookthecarkey sand
credi
tcardthenwalkedbackdownst ai
rsagai
n.
IwentovertoPhiwewhowast r
yingtowalkbut
holdi
ngont othecoffeetableandkissedher.
Me:
mommywi
l
lbeback.
.
Iwalkedout ,tot hecarthendr ov etothemal l
.
Getti
ngt her eIboughtt hepur ityandsomeot her
fewst ufftoo.Goi ngbackhomet henumbness
start
edagai nonbot hhands.I twaspr etty
worseasIcoul dn'tmov emyr ighthandatal l
onlymyl eftabi twithalsoblur redv er
sionmade
i
tsuperwor se.Iwasatt hetraf f
icli
ghtandi t
wasi ndicatingt hatcarsshoul ddr i
v ebutmy
ri
ghthandwasj uststi
ff,
Icouldheart he
Hooter sfrom ot hercarsbutdr ivi
ngwi thmyl eft
handwasabi tdi ff
icul
tsoIhadt odr i
veatl ow
speed.Myphonet henst ar
tedr i
nging, i
twas
Bandile.Iknewhewaswor r
iedsoIt r
ieddrivi
ng
alit
tl
ef aster .Ireallydontknowwhathappened
butthel astt hingIr ememberi st hesway i
ngof
t
hecarbef
oref
all
i
ngi
ntot
hef
orev
erdar
kness.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Ipacedar oundt hehouse, Iknewsomet hing
waswr ong.Phi wet henstar tedtocry.Ipicked
Herup, tr
yingtosi lenceher .Ihadkicked
Mma' Ny ara.Sheshoul dn'
thav eletKrisleavein
thefi
r stplace.Thatni ghtPhi wewoul dn'tstop
cryi
ng, i
tslikeshecoul dsenset hatsomet hi
ng
waswr ong.Shesl eptreal
lyl at
eandIont he
otherhandIdi dn'tsleep.Iwast ryi
ngt olocate
her,
Iev enhi r
edaPI ,oneoft hebestint hegame.
Thef oll
owi ngmor ni
ngIwokeupont hecouch.I
couldhearPhi wescr i
esfrom downst airs.Iwent
tohernur seryandpi ckedherup.
Me:
shhhhhbaby
..
hushpr
incess
Sheconti
nuedcryi
ng,j
ustt
henIhear
dthedoor
bel
l.Iwentdownst
air
stothedoorwi
thPhi
we
sti
l
lcry
ing.Openi
ngIf
oundat
raf
fi
ccoponmy
doorst
op.
Me:
somet
hingwr
ongwi
thmywi
fe?
Him:goodmorni
ngSi
r,wear
elooki
ngf
or
Bandil
eThul
ani
Me:
i
tsme,
somet
hingwr
ong?
Him:yourwi
feIwasinvol
vedinacaracci
dent
yest
erdayni
ght,
shehitabigt
ruckbut
..
Me:
but
?
Him:
herbodywasn'
tfound,onl
yher
bel
ongi
ngs,
thecarwasruinedbey
ondr
epai
r.
Me:
whatdoy
oumeanherbodywasn'
tfound?
.
Ki
ll
er:
ther
esst
il
lnot
hing.
.Myguessi
sshesst
il
l
al
i
ve
Me:
thenwhyhav
en'
tyouf
oundhery
et?
Q:I
tsonl
ybeentwodays.
.I'
m sur
ehewi
l
lfi
nd
her
,Ki
ll
eri
sthebesti
nthegame
Me:hebett
erforhi
sownsakebecauseI
'
m
vomit
ingl
otofmoney
Ki
ll
er:maybei
tsoneofy
ourenemi
es,
she'
syour
weakness
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
oki
l
lsomeone
It
sbeent woday sandshehasbeenmi ssing.
Thepol i
cekeept el
l
ingmecr ap.IhadcalledI
vy
tocomehel pwithPhi we.Notknowi ngifshes
deadornotanddeal i
ngwithi twasjusttoo
much.Ihadal er
tedSam sohel et'
stherestof
hisfamilyknow.Aftermeetingupwi thQand
Kil
lerIdrovetotheplaceoft heinci
dent.Where
areyouKr i
s?
Dri
vi
ngbackhomeIr
ecei
vedacal
lfr
om
Sabri
na.
Me:
what
?
Her
:dontki
l
lme.
.
Me:
eyt
alk!
Her
:youneedt
osendHappy
'smai
ntenance
Me:t
hef uck!
I'
m sendingy
oual most15keach
monthandj ustbecauseI
'm onedaylat
e..
y'
al
l
suf
feri
ngal r
eady?
Her
:Iwasj
ustr
emi
ndi
ngy
ou
Me:
Voet
sek!Cal
lmeagai
n!
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
FI
NALI
NSERT
¥PART3¥
LEAH
.
.
Ihel
dPhiwewhoj ustcoul
dn'
tst
opcr yi
ng,I
coul
dhearthathercrywasn'
tj
ustanempt ycry
.
Shewantedhermot her
.Iwal
kedaroundthe
housewi
thher.JustthenI
vywalkedin,
Itook
deepbr
eat
hasI
vyhel
dher
.
I
vy:
God.
.hushbaby
..
grandmai
sher
e
I
ttookherawhi
l
etogetherqui
teandcal
m.
Iwalkedoutofhernur
ser
yasIvyputhert
obed.
Aft
erawhi l
eIvycamedownst
air
s.
Her
:I
'm sor
ry.
.shehasbeenl
i
ket
hisev
ersi
nce
Me:
Iknow.
.Sher
eal
l
ywant
shermot
her
Her
:Ihopeshesal
i
vewher
evershei
s
Me:
met
oo,
i
tsal
mostamont
hnow
Her:
yesandherf
amil
yisdemandi
nganswer
s,
answerst
hatwedonthav
e
Me:
Bandi
l
ewi
l
lfi
ndher
,I
'
m sur
ehewi
l
l
Her
:hehast
o
Thedoort
henswungopenandBandi
l
ewal
ked
i
n.
I
vy:
babyy
ouback
Hi
m:y
eah.
.I
'
m goi
ngt
otakeaqui
cknap.
.how'
s
mypr
incess?
I
vy:
sleepi
ngatl
ast
Hi
m:ok
Helookedatmeforawhi
lebeforewal
king
upst
air
s.Isi
ghedashewalkedupst
air
s.
I
vy:
thi
sisr
eal
l
ybr
eaki
nghi
m
Me:
mhhm.
.Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng,
itsget
ti
ngl
ate.
I
vy:
youcanal
way
ssl
eepher
e,y
ouar
emor
e
t
hanwelcome
Me:
no.
.Iwi
l
lbef
inebutt
hanky
ou
Shesmi
l
edherbeaut
if
ulsmi
l
e..
I
vy:
ok.
.pl
easebesaf
e
Me:
Iwi
l
lbe
Iki
ssedhercheekt henwalkedt
ooutsidetomy
caranddrov
est r
aighthome.Immediatel
ywhen
IgothoneIret
ir
edt osleep,
Iwasreal
l
y
exhaust
ed.
.
"You!
"Shesai
dmaki
ngmeturn.Shewasn'
t
happy,
shewasmad,
shewasangry.
"
It
snotwhaty
out
hink"Isai
dtaki
ngst
epsback.
"You!"Shescr
eamedl
oudl
ymaki
nggl
asses
break.
"I
'
m onl
ytry
ingtohelp,i
tsnotwhatyouthink"
shewasgetti
ngclosertome,Icoul
dli
terall
y
hearmyheartbeati
ngfast.
"
Please.
.I'
m onl
ytr
yingt
ohel
pyou"Ipl
eaded.
.
Hert
earsst
art
edcascadi
ngasshecl
osedt
he
gapbet
weenus.
"You.."Shesai
dsoftl
ybef orelet
ti
ngoutal oud
scream asherhandsf oundt hei
rwayt omy
neck.Shest ar
tedstr
anglingmeasshe
screamed.Thewhol eplacewasf al
li
ngdown
duet oherscreamsandshewassl owlybut
surelyshutt
ingmedownasshecont inuedto
squeezemyneckt i
ghtly
.
"I
'
m-I
'm..
so..
.r
ry"IsaidasIfel
tmyl i
fewas
comi
ngtoendandt hatsal
lImanagedto
mutt
erbefor
esl i
ppingint
odarkness
.
"Kri
s!"Iscreamed, si t
tingupst r
aightonmybed.
Iwasbr eat
hinghar d,drowni nginsweatand
thatswhenIr ealiz
edIwashav ingamaj or
asthmaat t
ack.Imanagedt ost aggeroutof
bed,thenwentt omydr essingtable.Ifel
tli
ke
myl i
fewasr eallycomi ngtoanend.Thel ights
thewenton, itwasQ.Icoul dseet hepanickin
hisey esasher acedt owardsmesot ohelpme
l
ookf ormyi nhaler.Hef i
nallyfounditandhand
i
tt omewi t
hshaki nghand.Af terusingit,
my
breathingwassl owl ygoi ngbackt onor mal.He
switchedont heaircondi ti
oner.
Hi
m:ar
eyouok?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
.I
'
m ok
Hi
m:y
ouknowwher
eshei
sdonty
ou?
Me:
i-
Him:Bandi
l
eisgoingt
okill
you..
whatonear
th
whereyouthi
nki
ng?Weneedt oleav
ethi
splace
r
ightnow..
he'
scomingforyou
Hegrabbedmyhandt henweraceddownstair
s,
outsi
detohiscar.Asheunlockedhescar
Bandil
escarpul
ledrightup.Hegotouthol
ding
hi
sgun.
Bandil
e:wel
lwel
lwel
l
!l
ookwhatwhatwehav
e
her
e..Runni
ngaway?
Qst
oodi
nfr
ontofme.
Q:Bands.
.youdon'
thav
etodot
his,
l
et'
stal
k
aboutthi
s
Bandil
e:t
alk?wehavebeental
ki
ngfort
helast
monthandt hi
sevi
lwhorehavebeenwatchi
ng
melikeI'
m afool
Q:
ntwana.
.
Bandi
l
e:y
ewena!
Q:
cal
m downpl
ease.
.
Bandi
le:
I'
m onl
ygoi
ngt
ocal
m downwhenshes
dead
Myheartwasbeat
ingf
astasIhel
donunt
oQ
t
ight
ly.
Bandi
l
e:wher
e'sshe?
Q:
babepl
easet
ell
him.
.
Ishookmyhead.
.
Me:
please.
.
Bandi
l
e:f
uckent
alk!
Me:
Iwast
ryi
ngt
ohel
p
Bandi
l
e:hel
p?
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:I
'm goi
ngt
ohel
pyoumeety
ourancest
ors
t
oday
Me:
Qui
ncy
Q:
j
ustt
ell
him wher
eshei
s!
Me:
she'
swi
tht
henun
.
SONI
A
.
Icl
osedmyey esasthefeeli
ngcame
back,st
rongerthanbef
ore.Icoul
dseecl
ear
ly
now,Icouldseethem.
"Si
sterMahai
l
a,i
sshegoi
ngt
obeok?
"Asmal
l
gir
lasked.
"
Yunnah,
she'
ssaf
e..
shehasbeenpur
if
ied,
she
wi
ll
beok"Mahali
aresponded.
"Butshe'
srestl
ess,Icanfeel
it"Yunnahsai
d
again,
kneel
ingbeforeherandcaressi
ngher
face.
"
She'sscreami
ngf
orhel
p"shecont
inued
t
alki
ng..
"Shewant
stogetout.
.Shewantstogetout
"
shesai
dagai
n,hervoi
ceabitr
aisedthi
sti
me
ar
ound.
"Shecanonl
ygetoutbyherownhelp..
nobody
canhelpher
,shecanonl
yhel
pherself
"Mahali
a
saidsof
tl
y.
Yunnaht
henwalkedout
,wi
thtear
sstreami
ng.
Onceshewasoutsi
deshestoodnearthel
i
ttl
e
st
ream.
"
Yunnah!
"Av
oicesai
dmaki
nghert
urn
"
Sist
erFrey
ja"Yunnahsai
ddr
oppi
ngherheadt
o
t
heground.
Myey
esf
lungopenasIcamebackt
oli
fe.
Iknewwher
eshewas!
.
LEAH
.
Me:
IswearIdontknowwher
eshei
s..
all
Iknow
i
ssheswit
hthenun
Bandi
l
e:howdi
dshegett
her
e?
Me:Ifoundoutaboutt hebrai
ncancer,
Ihadto
fi
ndhelpsoIst aggereduponanunonedayat
thi
sotherchurch.Itoldherandshetoldmeshe
couldhelpal
lIhadt odowashandKr i
sovert
o
her
Bandi
le:
youar
etheonewhohi
thercarbyt
he
tr
uck?
Me:yes.
.onl
ybecauseIknewshewouldref
use.
.I
gavehertothenunandshesaidshewil
lbefi
ne
aft
ergetti
ngpuri
fi
ed
Bandi
l
e:sowher
e'st
henun?
Me:
Idontknow.
.Idontknowwher
eshei
s
Bandil
e:howcoul
dyoudot
hatt
oyourown
fr
iend?
Me:
Iwast
ryi
ng-
Bandil
e:andyoukeptqui
tebuty
ouknewv
ery
wellwhat'
sgoingon!
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Bandi
l
e:I
'
m notGod,
Ihav
enev
erbeen
Q:
Bandi
l
e!
Bandil
e:ifanyt
hinghappenstoher
,youare
dead..
I'
m notbluff
ingI'
m goi
ngtoki
llyouand
therestofyourfamily
Me:
thepr
iestwi
l
lcal
l
-
Bandi
l
e:t
hepr
iest
?Whi
chpr
iest
?
Me:
theoneI
..
whot
oldmeaboutt
henun
Bandi
l
e:name?
Me:
Henson.
.Fr
aterHenson
Bandi
l
e:youandy ourFr
aterar
esoongoi
ngt
o
meetyourancest
ors!
Hesaidbeforewal
kingt
owardshescarand
dr
ivi
ngoff.Isi
ghedheav
il
y.Thatwascl
ose.
Qt
hent
urnedandl
ookedatme.
Me:she'
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine.
.Theywi
l
lnev
erhur
t
her
Q:
wher
eist
henun?
Me:
Idon'tknow,
shesaidshewil
ldr
opherat
t
hechurchandthepr
iestwil
lcal
lme
Q:
howdoyout r
ustpeopl
esomuchli
ke
t
his?
whati
ftheyareseri
alki
l
ler
s?
Me:
theyar
enot
Q:
howsur
ear
eyou?
Me:
Ijustknow
Hel
aughed.
.
Q:youaregoingt
ost aywit
hmei nthe
meantime,youar
ei nBandil
eswrongsideofthe
bookandhewon' thesit
atetoki
l
lyou.
.nomake
i
t,
hesgoingtokil
lyouLeahandnot hi
ngwill
stophi
m
Me:
I'
m Kr
ist
in'
sfr
iend.
.Hewon'
thur
tme
Hel
aughed.
.
Q:Q'
sfri
end?
theonl
yreasonwhyhehasn'
tki
l
led
youyeti
sbecauseofmesosweethear
twhenI
sayyousignedyourowndeat
hwi
thgoi
ngaf
ter
hisweaknessbeli
eveme
Me:
Iwasonl
ytr
yingt
ohel
p
Q:Iwi
llsayi
taspar
tofmyspeechony
our
funer
al
Iwi
pedawaythetear
sthatwer
est
reami
ng,
he
wasgoi
ngtokil
lmenodoubt.
Stayi
ngwi thQseemedl ikeagoodi dea,
consideri
ngt heissuewithBandiletoday.Ifi
t
wasn'tforQI '
m sur eIwouldhavebeendead.
Givi
ngKr i
st othenunwasn' tbecauseI '
mt ry
ing
togetridofher ,
no,itwasbecauseshest heonl y
famil
yIhav ei nmyhear t
.Idontwanthert odi e,
whenIt al
kedt ot hepri
estaboutKr i
shegav e
mehopet hatshewoul dmakei t.IknowImay
seem li
keIdontcar eaboutKri
sbutIdi ditall
becauseofl ove.
Thefoll
owingday sIst
ayedi
nt hehouse,i
fI'
m
notatschoolthenI'
mlockedupinsidethe
house.Thefactthatmyli
feisonthelinewit
h
Bandilei scl
earenough.Thedr eam Ihadabout
Krisstrangli
ngmehav ebeenhaunt ingme.I
havebeenhav ingpanicat
tacks.May beshe
thoughtIwast ry
ingtohurther.Thewayshe
wasscr eamingmakesmybodyshi ver.Istood
upf r
om t hecoucht henwalkedtot hekitchen.
ThatswhenIr eali
zeditwasr ai
ning,itwas
rai
ningr eall
yhard.
.
BANDI
LE
.
Me:ok..
here'
swhatwil
lhappen,y'
all
goingto
takemewher emywifeisorIwill
blowy our
brains.
.I
'
m anonbel
ieversoIreal
lydontgiv
ea
fuck!
Isai
dpointi
ngthegunatt hepr
iestandhi
swife,
i
twasn'tr
eall
yhardlocat
inghim.Iwasinhis
householdi
ngagunagainsthim.
Hi
m:Son.
.
Me:
wher
eisshe?
Hi
m:shesget
ti
nghel
p..
Me:that'
snotwhatIasked..
ifyoudonttell
me
whereshei s,
yourfamil
ymightaswellstartwi
th
yourfuneralorevenbett
eryourwi
fe'
s
Isaidpoi
nti
ngatt
hewi
fewhol
ookedr
eal
l
y
fazed.
Hewasr
eal
l
ycal
m..
Him:shesok,butnotst
rongenought
ocome
backrightnow
"
Iknowwheresheis"avoicesai
dmaki
ngme
t
urn,
itwast
hefor
tunetel
ler.
Pr
iest
:Soni
a
Soni
a:Icangether
Pr
iest
:Soni
ayouknow-
Soni
a:Iwi
l
lgether
Me:youbet
terorel
seIwil
ltur
never
ythi
ng
upsi
dedown,bel
i
eveme,Iwi
llf
uckevery
thi
ngup
t
hatev
enGodwonthel
pyourass!
Soni
a:Iknow
Me:good!
I'
m givingyou48hrstogetherandi
f
youdont.
.y
our eall
ydontwannaknowory ou
knowwhat..
IthinkIwil
ljustcomewithyou.
Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsher
..
Her
:yes
Me:
cal
lme.
.
Isai
dwal ki
ngout,Iwasbeyondpi ssed.I
couldn'
tseem t
ogetwhyLeahwoul ddosucha
thi
ng.Ifi
twasn'tforQthatgirl
woul dbea
missingcaseri
ghtnow.Ar r
ivi
nghomeIf ound
SabrinaandEnhlewithmom, dri
nkingtea.
Me:
thef
uck?
Mom:
l
anguage!
Me:
what
'
sshedoi
ngher
e?
Mom:
baby
,Sabr
inacamet
ocheckuponus.
.
Me:
checkonus?
who'
sus?
Enhl
ewasal
readyupandcomi
ngt
owar
dsme.
Sheembr
acedme.
Enhl
e:l
et'
sgof
oradr
ive
Shewhi
sper
ed.
.
Igav
eSabr
inaalookbef
orewal
ki
ngoutwi
th
Enhl
e.Wewalkedt
omycaranddrov
eout.
Enhl
e:It
oldy
out
osendherof
f
Me:
Idontwantt
oabandonmychi
l
d
Enhl
e:buty
oust
il
lkeepi
ngherasecr
et.
.what
'
s
theuse?
Me:
Ineedt
ogetKr
ist
oaccepther
Enhl
e:goodl
uck!Howf
arwi
thf
indi
ngher
?
Me:I'
m aboutt
ofuckupt
hepr
iest
,doest
hat
count
?
Enhl
e:y
ouar
egoi
ngt
ohel
l
Me:
Ithi
nkIwi
l
ladj
ustJustoki
nhel
l
Enhl
e:y
ouar
egoi
ngbackt
obei
ngt
hat
Bandi
l
e,doy
our
eal
i
zei
t?
Il
ookedather
,shekeptherst
air
r.If
inal
l
y
l
ookedawayandfocusedontheroad.Aft
era
whil
eIhear
dhersni
ff.
Me:
shest
heonl
ywhokeepsmesane
Enhl
e:y
ouknowhowy
ouget
Me:ifany
thi
nghappenst oher,ever
yonewho
hadahandinherdisappearancewill
behistor
y
andI'
m notgoingt
ost opatanythi
ng..St
art
ing
wit
hherwhoringfr
iend.
Ist
oppedt
hecarast
her
ainwor
sened.
.
UNKNOWN
.
Ilookedaroundagainbefor
egetti
nginsi
deher
room andclosi
ngt hedoorbehi
ndme.Iwal ked
towardsherwiththebucketful
lofwater
."Lord
pleasefor
giveme"
Isaidbefor
espr inkli
ngherwi t
hwat er.It
ooka
deepbreathbef orepour i
ngthewhol ebucketon
herface.Iwaitedf orafewsecondsunt i
lshe
start
edgaspingf orair.Asshecamebackt oli
fe
Itookoffmycost umer obeclot
hing.Shel azi
l
y
openedherey es.
Me:hi
,
I'
m Yunnah..
I'
ll
bey ourescor
tagent
..
onl
y
di
ff
erencei
sI'm unarmed.
.
KRI
S
.
Ifeltmyhear tgivi
nguponme, If
eltsuffocated.
Iwasgaspi ngf orairasshedr essedmeup.She
helpedmest andupbutmyl egswer ejust
wobbl y
.Slowl ywewal kedputoft her oom.We
walkedt akingabr eakhereandt here.Byt he
ti
mewegotout sideIcouldbar el
ykeepmyey es
open.Shepl acedmedownt henr anof f
somewher e.Iclosedmyey esunabl et oholdit
anymor e,thenev er yt
hingshutdown!
.
Openingmyey esagain,
Iwasnowl yi
ngona
comf ort
ablebed.Icouldbreathcalmlythi
stime
aroundbutIwasr eall
ythir
sty.Ilookedaround
andmyey escameacr ossthef ort
unetell
er.
Shest oodup,gotwaterfr
om thedr essi
ngtable
thenwal keduptome.
Her
:l
etmehel
pyoudr
ink
Shesai
dhel
pingmesi
tup.Idr
ankt
hewat
er.
Her:noonecansav ehim,
hecanonlydot haton
Hisownbuthecanbecont r
oll
ed.Ican'
tread
hesf ut
ure,Idontknowhesdesti
nybutforsee
painthroughyou..
youcancontr
olhim
Me:
what
..
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Her:
onl
yyoucancont
rol
him..
yourl
ovecan
cont
rol
him.
.t
here'
saanatt
ract
ionbet
weenyou
two.
.
Me:
whatar
eyousay
ing?
Her
:adanger
ousat
tr
act
ionandbecauseoft
hat
hewi
l
lli
stent
oyou
Me:
Idontunder
stand
Her:
thelov
ehehasfory
oui
shes
weakness.
.uset
hat
Shest
art
edwal
ki
ngout
..
Me:
no!Pl
easedontgo.
.wai
t!
Andshewasgone. .Leavi
ngmei ntotal
confusi
on.Justthenhewal kedi n,
thelooki
nhis
eyestol
dmeal otbutital
ldidn'tcountbecause
deepdown,inthedeepestpar tofmyhear the
rul
ed.
Me:
Bandi
l
e
Iwhi
sper
edasmyv
oicef
ail
edme.
.
Hewal
kedt
owar
dsmeandbur
iedmei
nhi
s
ar
ms.
Hi
m:y
ouar
esaf
enow.
.y
ouar
esaf
ebaby
Ihel
dhi
mti
ght
ly.
.
.
Slowl
yhefedmet hesoup,
accordingt
ohi
mi t
s
supposedtomakefeelbet
terbecausemybody
wasstil
lweak.
Hi
m:onel
astspoon
Me:
Ndi
l
e..I
'
mful
l
,I
'm ok
Hi
m:j
ustonemor
espoon.
.
Me:
thi
ssoupi
sn'
treal
l
ydel
i
ciousy
ouknow
Hi
m:Iknow
Iopenedmymouth,
hest
il
lhadt
heat
ti
tudeand
i
treall
ytur
nsmeon.
Ididn'tswall
owt hesoupbutr atherIleaned
towar dshim andkissedhisli
ps.Heopenedhi s
mout hasheshandscuppedmyf ace.Imade
himt astethesoupasweki ssed.Myski n
shiveredasheshandsmov edfrom myf acet o
mybackandst ar
tedrubbingmesof t
ly.I
tdidn't
takehi m mucht i
met ofli
pmeov ersoIlieon
topofhi m ashecl ai
medmyl i
psf ul
lytaking
control.Hepulledoutleavi
ngmebr eathinghard.
Hegav
emet heint
ensel
ookmademyf acet
urn
r
edmakingmelookdowninhi
schest
.
Hi
m:y
ouar
egoi
ngt
obest
ayi
ngher
eforawhi
l
e
Ir
aisedmyheadt
olookathi
m..
Me:
Ist
il
lhav
ecancer
?
Hi
m:I
'
m wai
ti
ngf
ory
ourr
esul
ts
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
arey
ouangr
ywi
thme?
Hi
m:y
es,
youshoul
dn'
thav
egoneoutt
hatni
ght
Ij
ustnodded.
.
Hi
m:butr
ightnowI
'
m notmad
Me:
howl
onghav
eIbeenunconsci
ous?
Hi
m:mor
ethanamont
h
Me:
wher
ewasIal
lal
ong?
Hi
m:some.
..Chur
ch?
Me:
chur
ch?
Hi
m:Iguess
Me:
but
..
.y
oudi
dn'
tknowwher
eIwas?
Hesf
acehar
dened.
Hi
m:andsomeonei
sgoi
ngt
opayf
ori
t
Me:
whent
her
esul
tscomepl
easet
ellme
Hi
m:ofcause
Justt
hensomel
adywal
kedi
n..
Her
:MrThul
ani
Hi
m:ami
nut
e
Het
henwal
kedout
..
Istoodupandwal kedtothewindow.I twas
drizzli
ng.Justthenhesphonest ar
tedringi
ng.I
wal kedupt oitandwhatcaughtmyey ewas
Sabr i
na'snameappear i
ng.Ineveranswerhis
phonebutt odayIwasn'
tgoingtodot hat.I
pickedi tup.
Her
:Andi
l
e
Me:
no.
.i
tsme
Her
:who.
.It
houghty
ouwer
e-
Me:
dead?
sur
pri
set
hen!
Her
:youbei
ngdeadcoul
dhav
ewor
kedi
nyour
f
avour
Me:
wel
lthent
oobadf
orme
Her
:someki
dyouar
e!
Me:
saywhaty
ouwantt
osayorIdr
opt
hecal
l
Her:
tel
lhi
m nott
omi
sshe'
sdaught
erssoccer
game
Il
aughed.
.
Me:theper
sonwhobewi
tchedy
oumustbe
dead..
Her:
andohhyeah..
shelooksf
orwar
dtot
hei
ce
cr
eamshepromi sedher
Me:dontf
orgett
odrinky
ourpi
l
ls,
because
cl
earl
yyouaresick!
Isai
dthenhungup.Isatonthebedasmy
kneesbecameweak.Iwasn'
tgoingtol
ether
gettome,shepr
obabl
yistr
yingtogett
ome.
Bandil
ewalkedbacki
nsmili
ng.
Hi
m:y
ourr
esul
tscameback
Me:
whatdot
heysay
?
Him:itseemsli
keyousti
l
lhavecancerbuti
tcan
betreatednow..
shedoct
orsai
dtherewasause
ofcannabisoil
Me:
huh?
Hi
m:it
skindoff
unnybuty
essot
hecannabi
soi
l
r
eal
lydidagoodjob
Me:
wow!
Hi
m:Iknowr
ight
..
Hesatbesi
desme.
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
tbel
i
evei
nthenunshi
tei
therway

Me:
nun?
Hi
m:chur
ch
Me:
aret
heyr
eal
l
y100%sur
e?Ther
esul
ts?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Ihuggedhi
mi nv
olunt
ary
,Icoul
dn'
tconceal
my
exci
tement
..
Me:
ohhMyGod!It
houghtIwasgoi
ngt
odi
e
Hi
m:nev
erbabe
Appar ent
lyIwasatsomepent house,hes
penthouse,Bandi l
ewasgoingtomakemest ay
herejustuntilI'
mf eel
i
ngbett
er.Hedidntspend
thewhol edaywi thmebutthatnightheslept
besidesme, Ifel
tsafeI'
m hi
sarmsasal way s.
Waki ngupthef oll
owingmorni
ngIwasl ay
ing
onhi schest.Ili
stenedtohi
sheartbeatashe
rubbedybacki ncircul
armovement s.
Hi
m:mor
ning
Me:
hey
Hi
m:howdi
dyousl
eep?
Me:
l
ikeababy
Hi
m:t
hat
sgood
Me:
Sabr
inacal
l
edy
est
erday
Heshear
tst
art
edbeat
ingf
astashesbody
t
ensed.
Me: Ihopey
oudi
dn'
tmi
ssy
ourdaught
er'
s
soccergame.
Hi
m:what
?
Me:Iknowshescrazy,
tr
yingtobreakus
apart
..
shemustthi
nkthatI'
m stupi
d.Ir
eal
l
y
wishshewasn'
tyourcousin.She-
Ist
oppedt al
ki
ngwhenIreal
izedhowhewasso
qui
te.Ir
aisedmyheadtolookathim.
Me:
what
'
swr
ong?It
oldherof
f
Hi
m:Iwanty
out
omeetsomeonet
oday
Me:
who?
Hi
m:y
ouwi
l
lseeherl
ater
Me:
ummhok,
cany
oual
sobr
ingPhi
we.
.
Hi
m:y
eah
Ismi
l
edl
ayi
ngmyheadbackonhi
schest
.
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hi
m:Il
ovey
out
oo
Me:It
hinkyoushoul
dbl
ockSabr
inasoshe
st
opscalli
ng
Hi
m:ok
Me:
how'
sLeah?
Hi
m:st
il
lal
i
ve
Me:
Imi
ssher
Hi
m:I
m sur
e
Me:Iwanttoseeher
..
nott
odaybutt
he
f
oll
owingdaysmaybe
Hedi
dn'
tsayany
thi
ng.
.
Bandil
elef
tthatmor
ningtogopi
ckwhoeverhe
wantedmet omeett
ogetherwi
thSi
mphiwe,I
couldn'
twaittoseemydaught er.Neveri
nmy
dreamshav eIev erdreamtofhav i
ngachildat
myagebuther eIam, 21andhav eaoney ear
oldbabygirl
.Iwal kedaroundaroundthe
penthouseviewingi t
.Inthesi
tt
ingroom and
l
oungei thadglassywal l
swhichexposeda
beautif
ulvi
ew.WhenIgott ot
hekitchenther
e
wassomeLady .
Her
:Mam
Me:
hi,
youar
e?
Her
:t
hehel
per
Me:
ohh
Her
:whatcanImakey
ou?
Me:
j
ustsandwi
chpl
ease
Her
:yesMam
Isatdownont hestoolwatchi
ngherprepare
mysandwich.Aftershewasdoneshegav eitto
mewi t
hcoffeethendisappear
edsomewher e
i
nsidethehouse.Aftereat
ingIri
nsedmypl ate
thenwalkedbackt othebedr oom.Itookabat h
thenchangedbacki ntothePJ' sIwaswear ing.
Themor ningwasj ustdul
l asIwaitedfor
Bandil
epat i
ently
.LateafternoonIheardacar
pullov
erout si
de.Iwalkedout si
deandi ndeedit
washim.Hecameoutwi thsomegi r
landPhi we.
Istoodtherefrozen,
notknowi ngwhattodoand
mymi ndwasj ustracing.
Him:ummhbabeIwantyoutomeetHappy
LetsoandHappymeety
ournewmommy
Thesmal
lgi
rlwal
kedupt
ome.
Her
:hel
l
o,I
'
m Happy
Me:
hi
Il
ookedatBandi l
ewantinghimtotel
lmet hi
sis
nothappening,wanti
nghimtotel
lmet hi
sisall
ajoke.Heav oi
dedmyey es,
ref
usi
ngtoassure
met hatt
hisallwasn'
thappeni
ng.
Me:
Bandi
l
e!
Hekeptqui
te.It
ookadeepbr
eat
h.Thehel
per
cameout
.
Me:
pleasecany
out
aket
heki
dsi
nsi
de.
.
Her
:yesMam
Shewal
kedov
ertoBandi
l
eandtooksl
eepi
ng
Phi
weandHappyi
nsi
dethehouse.
Me:
who'
schi
l
dist
hat
?
Hi
m:she'
smi
ne
It
ookadeepbr
eat
h..
Me:
your
swi
thwho?
Hi
m:Sabr
ina
Me:
Sab-
Il
aughed.
.
Me:Sabr
ina?It
houghty
ousai
dshewasn'
t
your
s
Hi
m:y
eahi
-
Me:
soy
oul
i
ed?
youl
i
edt
ome?
Hi
m:babe
Me:
dont
!donty
oudar
ebabyme!
Hi
m:cany
oucal
m down?
Me:cal
m?I'
mtoomuchdesper
ater
ight
?I'
mtoo
naï
vetoseeal
lthi
s..
howy
ouconst
antl
yhurtme
Him:
Iwasscaredtot
ell
youbecauseIknew
you'
dreactl
i
kethi
s
Me:i
sthi
sagametoyou?Ar
emyfeeli
ngsa
gametoyou?Whydoyoul
ovehur
ti
ngme?why
aredoi
ngthi
stome?
why?
Hi
m:babe-
Me:orisbecausey ouknowy oucanalway
swi n
meback?I sitbecauseIlov
ey outoomucht hat
youtakeadvantageofmyf eeli
ngsli
kethi
s..
Her
ubbedhesf
acei
nfr
ust
rat
ion.
Me: Iaskedyouandy oul i
edr i
ghtinmyf ace,
you
t
oldmeshewasn' tyours.
.andpoormebel i
eved
you..beli
evedeverywor dyousai d,beli
evedall
yourl i
es..
becauseI'
mj ustast upidlit
tl
egirlwho
i
st oodesper at
efory ourl
ov e.
.itactuall
ytook
met
hisl
ongt
oreal
i
zet
hat
..
whataf
ool
Iam
Hi
m:i
fIt
oldy
ouIknewIwoul
dhav
elosty
ou
Iwal kedbackinsidet hehouse, l
eav i
nghim
thereandwal kedt othebedr oom.Iwasn' tgoi
ng
tocr y,
Iwasjusttoot i
r edtocryforhim.Af t
er
seatinginthatroom f ormor ethananhourI
fi
nallydecided.Ibli
nkedawaymyt ears
standingup.Iwasdonewi thhim.Iwal kedback
downst ai
rs.Phiwewassi tt
ingont hef l
oor
playingwithhertoy swhi l
eHappywasj ust
sitt
ingont hecouch, l
ookingalllostandBandil
e..
Hewasnowher einsi ghtbutIcoul dn'
tcare
l
ess.
Me:
baby
?
Isai
dwal kingtoPhiwe.Theminuteshesawme
shecrawledt owar
dsme, f
eel
i
ngt ooexci
tedI
guess.Ipickedherup..
Me:
i
t'
smommy .
.Ar
eyouhappyt
osee
mommy?
arey
oubigbaby
?
Shewasj ustgi
ggl
ing.Happyjustsat
ther
e,st
agnantwit
hhertearsstreami
ng.Iput
Phiwedownandwal kedupt oher.
Me:
hey
..
whyar
eyoucr
ying?
Her
:i
-iwantmymommy
..
Me:
youwanty
ourmommy
?
Shenoddedashertear
scascaded.Shewas
si
lent
lycr
yingandi
twasbreaki
ngmyheart.
Me:
ummhwher
eisdaddy
?
Sheshr
uggedhershoul
der
s..
Me:
ummhok.
.howaboutwe.
.l
ookf
ordaddyso
wet
akey
outomommy ..
canwedothat
?
Shenodded.
Iwi
pedawayhert
ear
s.
Me:
youwanti
cecr
eam?
Shenodded.
.
Phi
wewasal
readyonmyf
ootcl
i
ngi
ngunt
ome.
Ipi
ckedherupt hentookHappybyherhand
andlookedaroundforBandi
leunt
ilIbumped
i
ntothehelper.
Me:
ummhwher
e'sBandi
l
e?
Her
:MrThul
ani
isout
side
Ismi l
edthenwalkedout si
dewiththekids.He
wassi tt
edbytheoutdoort abl
ewithhisfeeton
thechairsmoking.Iwalkedupt ohim.Getti
ng
thereher ai
sedheseyes,heseyesstil
lhadan
effectonme.
Het
hrewawayt
heci
gar
ett
e.
Me:
Happywant
stogot
ohermom
Hi
m:shesnott
her
e
Me:
wher
e'sshe?Wher
e'sSabr
ina?
Hi
m:Idontknow.
.Hi
ding
Me:
Idontwantt
opl
aywi
thy
ou
Him:
she'
shi
ding.
.Shet
hinksi
m goi
ngt
ohur
t
her
Me:
arey
ou?
Hekeptqui
teandj
ustl
ookedatme.
.
Me:Ir
eal
lywanttol
eaveyouri
ghtnow.
.Iwi
l
l
st
aywithhert
il
lSabr
inacomesback
Him:
pleasestayher
e,Ij
ustwantt
omakesur
e
youar
esaf e
Me:
wit
houty
ouI
'
m saf
e
Thatseem tohavegot
tentohi
m,Hegotofft
he
tabl
eandwal kedt
owardsmebutIt
ooksteps
back,
Ididn'
twanthi
m nearme.
Me:
please
Hestoppedonhi
str
acks.Het
ookofhiscap
thenr
anHishandmessi
nguphisper
fect
ly
combedhair
.
Me:
Ineedt
oleav
e..
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lleav
e
Me:
donthur
ther
,Happyneedshermom
Hi
m:y
ouar
ehermom
Me:
youcanl
eav
enow
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lbr
ingy
ourcl
othesandt
hei
rs
Me:
Ithi
nki
tsbesti
fLeahdoesi
t
Hi
m:Kr
ist
in-
Me:
dont
!
Hi
m:okf
ine.
.
Iwal
kedbacki
nsi
det
hehousewi
tht
heki
ds.
Happy
:Iwantmymommy
..
Me:ummhwewil
lgoseehertomor
row.
.She
wenttobuyy
ouanewdress
Her
:Idon'
twantanewmommy
Me:
ok.
.y
ouwantt
opl
aywi
th.
.y
oursi
ster
?
Isaidput
ti
ngPhiwedownwhowasj
ustt
oo
focusedoneat
ingherdol
l
.
Happy
:yes
Il
eftthem t
here,
i
tseemedliket
heycli
ckedwel
l
.
Thethoughtofbeingsomeone'
sstep-
mom
didn'tsitwel lwi thmeespeci allybecauseHappy
wasSabr i
na' schi ldandt hef actt hatBandi le
l
iedabouti t.Iwal kedtotheki tchenanddr ank
wat erjustt hinki ngabouti tall.Iwasj ust
hurt,heartbr oken, Ifel
tbetrayed.Ev enthough
afteral otofmesshesev erputmet hroughi t
stil
lhur tthatIst il
l l
ovedhi m.Ij ustwi shedt o
hatehi m sobadbecauset her easonwhykeeps
onhur t
ingmei sbecauseheknowshehasme
wher ehewant smebutev enifI'dev erhat ehim
IknowdeepdownIwi l
lstil
lbet her ewi t
hhi m.I
startedf eelingj ustweak, myheadwasev en
aching.Iwal kedupst ai
rsleav i
ngt hegirls
hav i
ngf un.ThemomentIcl osedmyey esitall
cameback.Ikeptwonder ingifi twasal lwor t
h
i
t.Nomat terhowmuchy oucanbest rongbut
somet i
mesi tjustget stoomucht hatyoucan' t
handl eit,
y oust artwonder ingify ourloveis
goodenough.Ishutmyey estight lywishingto
j
ustf allasl eep.
"
..
.butIj
ustwanty
out
oknowIl
ovey
ouso
much.
.ev
enont
heday
swher
eyou'
dhat
emeso
much"
Heswordscamebacki
nmymind,sl
owl
yif
ell
i
ntodar
knessasheswor
dspl
ayedinmymi
nd.
.
Iwai
tedf
orhert
oanswerandf
inal
l
yshedi
d.
Her
:hel
l
o?
Me:
Leah.
.
Shewentsi
l
ent
..
Me:
hey
..
it
sme
Her
:Kr
is?
Me:
ummhy
eah
Her
:ohmyGod.
.Youar
esaf
e..Howar
eyou?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne,
Imi
ssy
ou
Her:
Idi
dn'
tthinky
ou'
dcal
laf
terwhatIdi
d,I
'
m
sur
ehepaintedmesobad
Me:
whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?
Her
:Imeani
-
Shekeptqui
te.
.
Me:
whatar
eyousay
ing?
Her
:ummhnot
hing.
.Ij
ust
-
Me:
whyar
eyoul
yi
ngt
ome?
Her
:Kr
is.
.
Me:Bandi
l
ehasachi
l
d..Adaught
erwi
thhi
s
cousi
n
Her
:what
?
Me:
andhel
i
edabouti
t
Her
:wow!
Me:
Igott
ogo.
.
Her
:I
'm sor
ry
Idroppedthecal
l.Ithadbeentwodayssince
stayi
nginthepenthousewitht
hegir
lsandt he
helper
.Ifel
tsoalone,sobr
oken.Nomatterhow
muchI '
dsmilei
tawaybuti tdi
dhurt
,morethan
any
thi
ng.
"Mam arey
ouok?
"Mar gr
etasked,
shefi
nal
l
y
tol
dmehername,cal
l
ingherthehel
perwasa
butweir
d.
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.
.
Iwi
pedawayt
het
eart
hathadr
oll
ed.
Me:
thanky
ouf
ory
ourphone
Isai
dhandi
ngi
tback.
Ismil
edthenwalkedtot hesit
ti
ngr oom.Ever
si
ncehetol
dmeaboutHappyIhav en'tseen
hi
m andI'
mreal
lytryi
ngnott ocare.Hesent
Thabiwi
thmyclothesyesterdaytogetherwit
h
Happy'
sandphi
wescl othes.
Thabitr
iedtosof
tmeupi nt
heissuetel
l
ingme
theyadayadashi
tbutsheknewIhadever y
ri
ghttobemad.Ihadeveryri
ghttobedoing
whatIwasdoing.Justt
henther
ewasaknock
onthedoor.Iwal
keduptothedoor.I
twasa
deli
ver
yguy.
Me:
mor
ning
Him:mor
ningmam.
.ummhcany
oupl
easesi
gn
here
Isi
gnedthenhegavemeacar
d.Openi
ngt
he
car
ditwaswrit
ten
"
CanIpl
easecomeseey
ou?
andt
heki
ds?
Lov
e
Bandi
l
e"
Itookadeepbr
eat
hget
ti
ngbacki
nsi
det
he
house.
Gett
inginsi
deMar gr
etwasstandi
ngi
nthe
si
tt
ingroom hol
dingherphone.
.
Her
:MrThul
ani
wantt
otal
ktoy
ou
Me:
tel
lhi
m Iwantt
otal
kwi
thSabr
ina
Isai
dwal
ki
ngaway
..
Iwalkedt
othebalconywonder
ingifIhadn'
t
metBandil
ehowmyf ut
urewouldhavebeen
l
ike.I
fheneverki
dnappedmehowi twould
hav ebeenl i
ke.Justt henIhear dPhi wes
scr eams.Iwal kedbacki nsidet hehouse.
Hol dingSi mphi wer emindedmeofwhyI
stickedar oundal lthiswhi l
e,becauseIl oved
theasswhor eandheknewi t.Adayagai n
passedwi t
houtmeseei nghi m.Apar tofme
neededt hespacebutt heot herj ustwant edhi m,
withmeher e.Happywasget tingusedt o
me, shewasget ti
ngcomf ort
abl ewi thmeandI
wasr atherglad.Shest i
llaskedofSabr i
naandI
kepthopi ngt hatBandi lewoul dmakepl anst o
takeherchi l
dbecauseIcoul dunder standwhat
shewasgoi ngt hrough.I twasev eni ngaf ter
dinnerandIwaspi cki
ngupHappyandPhi wes
toy s.Theywer escat t
eredal l overthesi tt
ing
room.Mar grethadgonet obed.Af terpacki ng
thet oysi swi tchedof ft hel i
ghtandcar efullyI
satdowni nthedar knessf eelingtired.Ist arted
falli
ngasl eepont hecouch.Myey elidswer e
j
ustgi v
inguponmeandj ustt henIsawa
shadowt hatmademeopenmyey es
i
mmedi at
ely.HesColognefil
ledther oom
i
nt oxicati
ngmeasal waysandt helit
tleli
ght
from t hemoonr efl
ecteduponusal l
thanksto
thegl asswal l
s.Ist
oodupf eeli
ngt hepainI
hav ebeent ryi
ngtohidethepastf ewday s.I
hat edhimf orlyi
ngtome,Ihatedhi mf oralways
hur ti
ngmeandIhat edmy sel
fforst i
llfi
nding
my selfinlovewithhim.
Me:
whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:canwet
alk?
Me:
Ithoughtt
hat
swhatwewer
edoi
ng
Hi
m:y
ouknowwhatImean
Me:Idontunfor
tunat
ely.
.Whatdoy ouwantus
totalkabout
?Yourlyi
ngtendenci
es?Huh?Is
thatwhatyouwantust otal
kaboutBandi
le
Thulani
?
Hi
m:cany
oucal
m down?
Me:
cal
m-
Il
aughed
Me:
cal
m down?
Wow!
Hi
m:babe-
Me:dont!
itsKri
sti
n..
aft
erl
yingt
omey ouhave
thenerv
et ocomeher ewanti
ngtot
alk!Butohh
nosinceitstheli
tt
legi
rly
ouwifedy
oucando
asyouwi sh.
Hi
m:y
ouknowi
tsnotl
i
ket
hat
..
Me:someti
mesIhatemysel
fforl
ovi
ng
you.
.somet
imesIhatet
hatIl
oveyou.
.i
sit
becauseI
'myoung?Maybeyouneedtofi
nd
someoneyourage?
Hi
m:babe.
.
Me:
no!
..
please
Isaidashet ookast eptowar dsme.Idi dn'
t
wanthi m nearme, Iwantedhi mfarawayf r
om
mebutmyhear twasj ustdisagreeing.He
walkedaway ,Iswal l
owedt hepainandsatdown
onthecouchf eel
ingt i
red.Nev er
thelessmy
protesthecamebackandl aybesidesme.He
hadbr oughtawool enblanketwi thhimt hathe
spreadi tonuswi thoutsay i
ngasi nglewor d.
Thel ongestf earf
ul sil
entgrewbet weenus,for
thefirsttimeev ertheuncomf ortablesil
ence
wentst r
aighttomyhear t,pier
cingme.Iwi shed
totellhimi t'
sok,it
sgoi ngt obef i
ne, t
owr apmy
armsar oundhi m comf ort
inghim butal lIcould
dowast oliether
e,soothingmyownhear t
,t
ryi
ng
tounder standf orthesakeofmyhear twhich
wasbr eaking.Iheldt heblankettryingtostop
my selffrom shivering.
Befor
eIknowithehadgrabbedmeunt ohim
andmyheadwasl ayi
ngonhischest
,hear
ing
heshear
tbeathardagai
nstheschest.Heheld
met i
ght
ly,
notl
ett
ingmego.
Him:IknowIdontdeserveyourlove,IknowI '
m
toomuchf oryoutohandle.
.Myshi tisal otof
burgageIknowandIknowy oudeser ve
someonebet t
erbutIl
ovey ousomuch. .and
l
osingy oui
soutofthequestion.Il
ov ey ouso
muchandmay beyoumightquest i
oni tbutI
l
oveyousomuch..canyoupleasehol
dona
l
i
ttl
elonger
,I
'
m beggingyou.
.j
ustali
tt
lel
onger
Ipl
acedmyhandsonhischestashesoft
ly
ki
ssedmyfor
eheadwit
hhessof twetl
i
ps.
Me:
domypar
ent
sknowt
hatI
'
m her
e?
Hi
m:y
es
Me:
whenam Igoi
nghome?
Hi
m:wear e-
iwasthi
nkingmaybeweshoul
d
move.
.outofAfr
ica,
forfr
eshstar
twi
thPhi
we.
.
Me:
whataboutHappy
?
Hi
m:i
fyoudon'
twanthershewi
l
lst
aybehi
nd
Me:
no.
.I.
.she'
sagoodgir
lbutshewant
sher
mom..
isshestil
lal
i
ve?
Hi
m:obv
iousl
ybuti
sst
il
lhi
ding
Me:pl
easedonthur
ther.
.asmuchasIl
oat
he
herbutHappyst
il
lneedshert
hesameway
Phiweneedsme
Hi
m:ok
Het i
lt
edmyheadandl ethesl ipsbrushover
minesof t
ly,maki ngmef eeltheshi v
ersIalways
fel
tunderhi stouch, underhi spossession.I
couldfeelthehesi tationinHi ski ss,
hewas
probablywei ghingifI '
dlethim andi nassurance
Iopenedmymout hl ett
inghi mt akeover.I
missedhim andt heki ssj ustrekindl
edourlove.
Thethingst hismandi dtomewer ebeyondany
madeexpl anat i
onhemademef eelthi
ngsI
neverknewexi sted.
.
*
*ToBeCont
inued*
*
[
11/27,16:
12]Ron:
DANGEROUSATTRACTI
ON:
KRI
STIN'SDIARY
FI
NALPART
KRI
S
.
.
Her
:shest
aki
ngi
t!
Shesai
dtot
hecashi
er.
Me:
Leah!
Her:
no!
youaretaki
ngi
t.
.pl
usy
ouar
etheone
wit
hthewedding.
.
Il
ookedatt
hethi
ngshehadpi
ckedf
orme.I
di
dn'
tevenknowwhatt
osay.
Her:
andtomorrowit
sChr
ist
mas.
.I'
m sur
e
Bandi
lewil
ll
ikeit
I
twasal
readyDecemberandLeahhaddeci
ded
wedosomemor eshoppi
ngforChr
ist
masnot
t
hatwedidn'
thav
eenoughclot
hesalr
eady.
Me:
wespendi
ngChr
ist
masathome
r
emember.
.wi
thmymom?
Her:
itdoesn'
tmat
teri
tsnotl
i
key
oudon'
t
sneakaround
Il
aughed.
.
Wewalkedoutoft
heshopaf
terawhi
l
e.I
twas
adaybefor
eChri
stmas,
andi
twasgoi
ngtobe
thef ir
stChr i
stmasIact uallyspendwi thal lmy
l
ov edones.WhenIcamebackf rom t he
pent houuseBandi lef i
nall
yt ookmet ot he
pri
v atehospi t
alforacheckupandy es,the
cancerwasst i
ll
ther ebutt hegoodnewswas
thatitcoul dbet r
eat edsoIwaspr eparingt o
undergochemot her apy.Ican' tsayIwas
excitedabouti tbuti fthatswhati ttakesmet o
bewi t
hmyf amilythenIwoul ddoi t.Iknowt hat
chancesofi tcomi ngbackar epr ettyhighbut
fornowIcoul dn'tseem t ocar e.Ifinallyspoke
toSabr inagivinghermyr ules.Iknowherki nd,
whowoul dtrytopul lt
hebaby mamacar don
mesoIj usthadt omakei tcleart ohert hatI'
m
theonl yMr sBandi leThulani .
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
Me:y
oureal
l
yunder
est
imat
emeandIdont
bl
ameyou
Her:
youareakidKr
is,
youcan'thandleaman
l
ikeBandi
l
e..Takei
tasfr
iendl
yadv i
cehe-
Me:holditri
ghtthere!
youdontknowshi tabout
howt ohandlemyhusbandwhor e!
betterwatch
yourmout horyouwi l
lsoondecomposesi xf eet
under.
.andohhI '
m akid?akidthathesmar r
ied
toandy ouwillr
espectthatkidbecausesweet y
Ipromiseyou..y
ouwon' teverseey ourkidever
againandshewi llf
orgetsheev erhada
mom. .
kidsforget.
Her
:i
sthatat
hreat
?
Me: threat?
Ithinkyouwouldknowi fthatwas
threat.
.I'
m Bandi l
eswifeandy ouwi l
lrespect
that.Youwon' tcomewi thyoursaggyt it
sand
yourlosepussyandt al
kaboutmyman, heain'
t
yourst otal
kaboutandnev erwill
hebe
yours,noteveni nyouri
magi naryworld.Whore
dontf uckwithme, youdontknowme!
*
***
***
***
***
***
**
LeahandIwal
kedt
othecarwi
tht
heshoppi
ng
bags.
Her
:you.
.t
hisday
syouar
eabi
tdi
ff
erent
Me:
goodorbaddi
ff
erent
Her:
gooddif
fer
ence.
.Likeatleasty
oudontt
ake
shi
tanymore.
.Isal
utehowy ouspoket
othat
Sabr
inabi
tch
Me:
shewasgoi
ngt
ofar
..
I'
veal
way
shat
edher
.
Her
:andt
hen?
Il
ookedwhereshewaslooki
ngandmyeyes
cameacrossKhany
a.I
tseemedli
kehehadsaw
usbecausehewaswalki
ngtowar
dsus.
Her
:l
et'
sgo
Me:
what
?
Her
:Kr
is!
Me:
comeon.
.hesal
readyher
e
Hest
oodi
nfr
ontofussmi
l
ing.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:y
ouhav
ebeen.
.ver
yscar
ce
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Iknow.
.
Hi
m:won'
tIgetahug
Leah:
yesy
ouwon'
t
Itookadeepbreatht
henwal
kedupt
ohi
m and
gavehim abr
iefhug.
Hi
m:how'
syourdaught
er?
Me:
she'
sok,
shesabi
gbaby
Hi
m:canIcal
lyou?
Me:
ummh.
.
Hi
m:he'
sst
il
lj
eal
ous?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
heskeepi
ngwhat
'
shi
s
Hechuckl
ed.
.
Hi
m:Iwil
lcal
lyou.
.t
her
e'snot
hingwr
ongwi
tha
bi
tofdef
yinghi
m
Me:
Khany
a..
Hi
m:y
oust
il
lpr
ett
y..
youar
eev
enpr
ett
ier
,agei
s
doi
ngi
tswonder
s
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Ishoul
dgetgoi
ng
Hi
m:wewi
l
ltal
k
Igoti
nsi
det
hecarandsodi
dLeah.
Her
:youshoul
dst
opent
ert
aini
nghi
m
Me:
Iwasj
ustbei
ngni
ce
Her:
what
ever
..Let
'sgof
orl
unch.
.I
'
mreal
l
y
hungr
y
Idr
ovet
osomer
est
aur
ant
.
Her
:st
il
lsuppl
ement
ing?
WhenIcamebackIdi dn'
twri
teal
lmyexams
becauseIwasjustwaybehi
ndsoIwil
lbe
supplement
ingnextsemest
er.
Me:
Idonthav
eachoi
ce
Her
:andst
il
lmov
ing?
Me:
aft
erIgetmywhi
teweddi
ng.
.Bandi
l
eandI
hav
eal
readyspokent
othest
ateagenti
nL.
A.
Her:
thi
sissuei
sdepr
essi
ngme.
.Ineeddr
y
vodka.
.Adoubl
evodka!
.
Hourslaterwewereinaclubdri
nkingourli
ves
away.Themusi cwasonfullbl
astandwewer e
al
lovertheplace.Weweretaki
ngci der
sli
kewe
pai
dforit.
Leah:
dragonl
adywashomey
est
erday
!
Shescreamedont opofhervoi
ce.Dragonl
ady
i
sQ' smom, don'
taskme,
itwasallLeahwho
cameupwi ththenameandherotherfri
end
cal
ledDint
le.
Leah:
Ihat
ethatwomansomuch!
shemakesme
si
ck!
Asshewasst
il
ltal
ki
ngsomet
woguy
scameup
tous.
Guy
1:l
adi
es
Me:
Hi!
Guy
2:y
'al
lwannachi
l
lwi
thus
Leah:
ohhy
eah.
.Whynot
?fuckof
fni
gga!
Theot herguylaughed.Istooduponl
yto
staggeraround,theotherguycametomysi
de
andhel pedmesi tdownagai n.
Leah:
i
tsbor
ingher
e..
let
'sr
oll
!
Shesaidstandingandpull
ingmeoffthest
ool.
Thealcoholhadgotteninmyhead.Iwas
hol
dingabot t
leoffourcousi
ns.Theguyst
ri
ed
toholdus..
Me:eheh.
.doy
ouknowmyhusband?Hewi
l
lki
l
l
you
Leah:
yeahsodon'
ttr
ytoputy
ourdi
rt
yhandson
us.
.
Wewal kedoutst aggeringar
oundthenstr
aight
tothecarjustlaughing.Gett
ingi
nsi
dethecarI
star
teddri
v i
ng.Idrov etosomeghettocl
ub
Bandil
eoncet ookme, t
ohim hewastaki
ngme
outt
other
eal
wor
ldwer
ereal
funi
s.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
Me:
no!
lookathowt
heyar
elooki
ngatus!
Isai
dasIheldontot
heseat
bel
t.Bandi
l
e
star
tedl
aughi
ng.
Hi
m:t
hisi
sghet
tobabe
Me:
Iwannagohome.
.pl
easel
et'
sgohome
Him:comeon..t
heydontbi
te.
.pl
usthi
sis
ours!
weowni t.
.t
hisi
swhererealf
unis.
.notat
thosefancyshi
ts!
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
Ididhavefunt
hatdayandIfel
tsaf
ewiththe
eyescauseofBandi
leandagai
ntodayagainwe
weregetti
ng
getti
ngsomeey esbutwhogav eaf uck.We
star
tedt aki
ngshots.Aft
ersomewhi leIwas
dancingwi t
hLeah.ItgottoapointwhereLeah
j
ustdr aggedmewi thherontopoftablesand
st
art
eddanci
ng.I
twascr
azybel
i
evemeand
al
sofun.
Wegotof
fthet
abl
esaf
terawhi
l
e.
Wewentbackt
othevodkaagai
nwhensome
guy
scameuptous.
Guy
1:ei
ta!
Leah:
hi
Guy
1:wannahangout
?
Leah:
nah.
.Iwi
l
lpass
Guy
2:osur
e?
Leahgav
ehimthelook,
onethingIknowi
sdont
messwitht
hem Kasini
ggas,
theywil
lmessy
ou
up.
Me:
ummhLeah.
.weshoul
dgetgoi
ng
Guy2:
why?Mar
ayouguy
sar
est
il
lhav
ingf
un.
.l
a
j
abulamos!
Me:
ummmh.
.
"
Andthen?"Av oi
cesaidmakingustur
ntolook.
I
twasmykni ghtshi
ningarmor.
.AndLordhe
l
ookedpissedandbesideshi
m Qstood.
Me:
par
tyov
er?
Ndi
l
e:whatdoy
out
hink?
Idon'tknowwher ethoseot
herguy s
di
sappear edtobuttheywerejustgone.Bandil
e
walkedupt omeandt hr
ewmeonhi sshoulder
.
Igaveani nvol
untaryscr
eam becausehowhe
j
ustsuddenl yscoopedme.
Ndi
l
e:makenoi
seagai
n!
Hewalkedwit
hmeoutsideandthrewmei nthe
caranddi
dmyseatbel
t.Healsogotinsi
dethe
carandst
art
eddr
ivi
ngaway .
Istart
edsingi
ngmyownshi t.Af
tert
hatI
start
edlaughi
ngatIdontknowwhat.
Me:
youwantt
ofuckbabe?
Iaskedwi
thabl
urr
edv er
sion.Hekeptqui
te,
he
wasmad..
Icoul
dfeel
it.
Me:
youmad?
li
ker
eal
l
ymad?
Hest
il
lkeyqui
te.
.
Me:
mut
e?ok.
.
Iclosedmyeyesandjustdrownedinsleep.
Whenwear ri
vedhoneIfel
titbutIwasj ustt
oo
ti
redtoopenmyey es.Hecarri
edinsi
det he
house,t
henundr
essedme.Il azi
l
yopenedmy
eyes.
Me:
Bandi
l
ei-
Hi
m:sl
eep!
Me:
I.
.-
Hi
m:don'
tfuckwi
thme!
Ikeptqui t
ethencl osedmyeyesagai nandfel
l
asleepnow.Waki ngupthefol
lowingmor ni
ngI
wasal oneinthebed.Theheadachet hat
possessedme, wasenoughtolastmeal i
fe
ti
me.I tfel
tli
kemyheadwasspl it
tingint
otwo
half'
s.Irai
sedmyheadsot hatitf
al l
sbackon
thepill
owagai n.
Me:
l
ordpl
easehel
pme.
.
Istoodupandst aggeredoutofbedr ushingto
thebat hr
oom andv omi t
ed.I tkeptcomi nghard
maki ngmyt hroatbur n.AfterIwasdoneIst ood
up,fl
ushedt hetoiletthenwashedmyf ace.
Raisingmyheadt olookatmy sel
font hemi rr
or,
Ilookedlikeazombi e.Iwal kedoutoft he
bathroom af t
erawhi l
e.Gett i
ngi nthebedr oom
myey esmetwi thBandi l
es.It riedtoreadhi m
buthej usthadt henumbf aci alexpression.
Hi
m:t
ake!
Hesaidst r
etchi
nghishandwhi chwashol di
ng
acup.Iwal keduptohim andtookt hecupf r
om
hi
m.Idr ankwhateverthatwasin,notev en
complaini
ngbecauseIj ustwantedt he
headachegone.Af t
erdrinki
ngitIplacedthe
gl
assdown.Hest oodupmaki ngmet akea
stepback.
Hi
m:sowhathappenedy
est
erday
?
Me:
I.
.i
-i
m sor
ry
Hi
m:t
hat
snotwhatIasked
Ikeptqui
telooki
ngdownonmyf
inger
swhi
chI
nowhadst art
edtopl
aywi
th.
Him:soyouwon'ttal
k?youleftgoi
ngf
or
shoppingandyouendedupatsomecl ubl
ateat
ni
ghtandy ouhavenothingtosay?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:Isai
dwhathappened!
Ikeptmysi
l
encenotknowi
ngwhatt
osayno
more.
Hi
m:oksoy
ouwon'
ttal
k?I
'
m goi
ngt
omakey
ou
t
alk!
Hewalkeduptomethenpushedbackinthe
bat
hroom t
otheshowerandopenedcol
dwat er
onmemaki ngmybodyshiv
er.
Me:
God!
Hi
m:Godisn'
ther
e!unf
ort
unat
elyf
ory
ou,
youar
e
f
ucked!
Icouldnowseet
heangeronhi
sface,
hewas
real
lymad.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Hewaspul
l
ingt
hebr
aids.
Hi
m:y
ouar
est
il
lgoi
ngt
obev
erysor
ryKr
ist
in!
Hecl
osedt
het
ap.Iwasal
readywet
,mybr
aid
wer
ewet.
Hi
m:getoutf
rom t
her
e!
Qui
ckl
yIwalkedoutpl
anni
ngtoj
ustgetoutof
t
heroom.Getti
ngoutoft
heroom Ir
ushedto
t
hedooronl
yt osl
i
pandFallont
hefloor
,dueto
mywetfoot
.
Hi
m:t
ryi
ngt
orunaway
?
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Isai
dmov i
ngbackwar
dsbecausehewas
cl
osingt
hegapbetweenus.
Him:
Iknowyouar
e,y
oushoul
dbe..y
ouknowwe
hadt
ogopickupPhiwef
rom Thabi
shouseand
hav
edi
nnert
her
e..
Fuckit!
Ihadfor
gott
enthatThabihadi
nvi
tedus
fordi
nnerandthatwehadtopickupPhiwe
from t
here.
Hi
m:y
ouar
egoi
ngt
obev
erysor
ryKr
is!
Hesai
dpicki
ngmeupf rom thefl
oor
.Het hen
t
hrewmeont hebed.Iknewshi twashit
tingt
he
f
an.Hetoret
heshirtthatIwaswearingthen
f
oll
owedbymypant ies.Iclosedmyl
egsashe
t
ookoffhesT-shi
rt
.Hepul ledmebylegsso
t
hatIl
ayontheedgeoft hebed.
Me:
thi
sisr
ape!
Hi
m:t
henI
'
m goi
ngt
orapey
ousohar
d!
Wi ththathesmout hsmashedonmi neand
kissedmehar dandr oughlythatIt
astedblood
i
nmymout h.Hepar t
edmyl egsforceful
l
ynot
breakingthekiss.Idontknowhowbutwi thout
nowar ni
nghepenet r
atedmeasdr yasIwas.I t
feltli
kemysoul wasl eav
ingmybody .
Me:
ohmy
!
Itr
iedtocl
osemylegsbuthehadmei
na
posit
ionwher
eIcoul
dn'tev
enmovemylegs,
he
hadmewher ehewanted.
Hi
m:y
oudon'
tl
ist
en!
Hepul
ledoutandslammedbackinhar
d
maki
ngmescr eam i
npai
n.I
tfel
tli
kehewas
j
ustt
eari
ngmeapar t!
Me:
ahh!
Him:yousayyouwil
ldot
hist
heny
oudot
he
opposit
estr
essingmeout
Hesai
dashepul
l
edoutandbackagai
nhewas
i
nful
lfor
ce.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.
Hi
m:andy
oudr
inkanddanceont
abl
es
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
.Pl
ease.
.I'
mreal
l
ysor
ry
Hewasn'tli
steni
ngtoanyofi
t,hehadmethe
wayhefeltl
ike.I
tgott
oapointwhereIj
ust
startedfeeli
ngnumb.Byt heti
mehegotof f
me, Icouldn'
tev enfeel
myl egs,hedidn'
tev enl
et
mecum.Cl osingmyey esIfel
l i
ntodarkness.
Openi ngmyey esagainIwasf eeli
ngcoldwat er
meetwi thmybody .Hewasl ower i
ngmei nt he
bathtubf ul
l ofcoldwat er
.Itsti
ngthatIev en
attempt edst andingupbuthehel dmedown.
Hi
m:si
t!
Me:
i
ts.
.-
Hemademesi tdowni
nthebat
htubmaki ngme
bi
tmylowerl
i
pt odeal
awaywit
ht hesensati
on.
Igeti
tthattherearetimest hathesev erfucked
mehar dbutthisti
mear ound, thist
imet ookthe
award.Whenhewasst i
ll
hav i
nghi swaywi th
meIkepthopi ngandpr ayi
ngt hathewoul djust
cum al
ready.Ikeptonapol ogizinghopinghe
wouldstopbutno!niggawasal loutforme.I
cl
osedmyey estr
yingtogetmybodyandmy
burni
ngpussyt oadjust.
Hi
m:I
'
m sor
ry
Iopenedmyey
esandl
ookedathi
m.Inodded.
Het
ookof
fsomebr
aidsf
rom myf
ace.
.
Him: Ilovey ouandIgetreal
l
ywor ri
edaboutyou
Kristi
n..Ihav eenemiesoutthereandyouare
theirtarget.AllIwant
edfrom youwasmay bea
simpl etextt el
l
ingmey ouwill
begoingout.
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:Iknow,
soam I
..
howmuchdoesi
thur
t?
Me:
real
bad
Hest
ri
ppedof
fhiscl
othest
hensatbehi
ndme
andmademerestmyheadonhischest
.
Hi
m:I
tsChr
ist
mas
Me:Ican'
twaitf
ormypresent
s..Il
oveget
ti
ng
pr
esentsfornor
eason
Hi
m:t
rustme.
.Iknow
Me:
whatdi
dyougetme?
Hi
m:youwil
lsee,
buti
fIcoul
dbuyy
out
hewhol
e
wor
d..
Iwoul
d
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
youar
emywor
ld
Hi
m:andsoar
eyoubabe.
.
Ifel
thishandonmypussymaki
ngmybody
tense.
Hi
m:l
etmet
ryt
omaket
hepai
nabi
tbet
ter
Ir
elaxedmybodyashesof
tl
yrubbi
ngme.
Ihav
eneverfant
asi
zedaboutsexinthebat
htub
buti
twasthebestpl
ushewasgent l
eonme.
Hekeptt
ouchingal
lther
ightpl
aces,
tender
ly
ki
ssi
ngmyl i
psandmyneck.
.
Wewalkedt
otheparki
nglot
ttohi
scar
.Wehad
j
ustl
andedi
nBotswana.
IputPhiweonherbabyseatatt
hebackseat
thengotinf
rontwi
thBandil
e.
Bandi
ledrovehome,
Idi
dn'
teveni
nst
ructhi
m.I
spoketoLeahbefor
eboar
dingi
nNdil
espri
vat
e
j
et.Shedi
dn'
ttel
lmewhathappenedwithQbut
sheseemedbrokenovert
hephonenodoubt
maybeQusedheralcoholpr
obl
em agai
nsther
.
Shewasgoingtobecominginl
aterdur
ingt
he
day.
Ididn'
tcareasl ongasshecomesatt heendof
theday.Arri
vinghomet heywerecarspar kedal
l
aroundtheyar dthatBandileparkedout side.He
placedPhiwedownwhocoul dwalknow.He
tookherbagf rom theboott henwewal ked
i
nsidemymot her'syard.Thedoor swer eopen
andIcouldher elaughterfrom t
hedoor .Phi we
hadalreadygot t
eninside.Wewal kedbehi nd
her.AssoonasIgoti nsideIwaswel comedby
at i
ghthugfrom Alex.Ithadbeenpr ettylong.
Ihuggedherback.Shepul
l
edoutaf
terawhi
l
e..
Her
:ohmyGod!
Imi
ssedy
ou!
Me:
met
oo.
.how'
sAust
ral
i
a?
Her
:Aust
ral
i
aisf
ine.
.
Shelookedatmyfi
nger
,Ihadt
oldhert
hatI
'
m
get
ti
ngmar ri
ed.
Her
:f
inal
l
y!
Il
aughed.
.
Sam wal
kedupt
ousandgav
emeahug.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:hi
..
Me:
imi
ssedy
ouguy
s
Al
ex:
met
oo
Sam:
Idi
dn'
t.
.Ly
ing.
.Imi
ssedy
ouguy
stoo
Wel
aughed.
Heletgoandwalkedt owardsBandi l
e.Idi
dn'
t
wanttowit
nessthedramasoIj ustwalked
awaywithAlexl
eavingthem aftertaki
ng
Phiwesbagfrom hi
m.Get t
inginsidetheki
tchen
Igavemom ahugf rom behindbecauseshe
wasfaci
ngtheotherside.
Me:
mom!
Her
:baby
..
Shet
urnedandgav
emeagent
lehug.
Her
:Imi
ssedy
ou
Me:
met
oo.
.
Her
:al
othappenedt
hisy
ear
Me:
Iknowbuther
ewest
il
lar
e
Her
:t
att
ooedboyt
oldmeabouty
ourcancer
Me:
hesgoi
ngt
omakesur
eIgett
reat
ed
"
Yes"av
oicesai
dmaki
ngmet
urn,
i
twasI
vy.
Me:
Ma!
Shewal
kedupt
omeandgav
emeabr
ieft
ight
hug.
I
vy:
i
sitmeory
ouar
eabi
tthi
ck
Me:
hai
bo!
Ma!
I'
mjustsi
ze32
Mom:
i
tst
hatmount
ainbehi
ndher
Theyl
aughed.
.
Me:
Nyaabat
hong.
.
Iwal
kedoutonl
ytobumpint
oAunt
Wame,Uncl
eKgotso'
swi
fe.
Her
:Mony
ana!
Me:
Aunt
..
thesewomenar
einsul
ti
ngme
Shel
aughed.
.
Her
:Isawhi
m
Me:
sawwho?
Her
:hi
m
Me:
who'
shi
m?
Isai
dasi l
aughedwal
ki
ngaway.Iwal
kedtomy
room andpl
acedPhi
wesbagdown.Justt
hen
mydooropenedandTshepi
ewalkedi
n.
Hi
m:Ihav
ebeenl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou!
Hesai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsme.Wehugged.
.
Me:
Ijustar
ri
ved
Hi
m:y
oucamewi
thy
ourScar
yfi
ancé
Me:
hest
hef
atherofmychi
l
d
Hi
m:Al
exandIbr
okeup
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
what
?
Hi
m:y
eah
Me:
why
?
Hi
m:al
otofshi
tIguess
Me:
Idontknowwhatt
osay
Hi
m:i
fwenotmeantt
obet
henwewon'
tbe
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:andy
ou?
weddi
ngwhen?
Me:
Idontknow.
.YetIguess
Him:
notj
ustyest
erdayy
ouwer
eKr
is,
themost
qui
etper
sononearth
Me:
Igr
ewupandst
art
eddat
ing
Hi
m:don'
tfor
getsex.
.t
heny
oust
art
edhav
ing
di
ck
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
fuckof
f!
Hi
m:IsawKel
etso
Me:
and?
Hi
m:wet
alkedi
tout
Me:
youhur
ther
Him:
Iknow.
.It
houghtIwasmaki
ngt
her
ight
deci
si
on
Me:
sowhatnow?
Hi
m:It
hinkIwil
lj
ustbesi
ngl
eforawhi
l
e..Tr
y
t
ogetoverever
ythi
ng
Me:gooddeci
sion..IdontknowwhatIwi
ll
doifI
everl
oseBandi
le..Ihavemadethatni
ggathe
centr
eofmywor ld
Hi
m:Icansee.
.
Me:I
'm gl
adhest il
lwithmet i
llt
oday.
.Iknow
wehavebeent ogetherforal
most3y earsnow
butI
'
m sti
llscaredtolosehim andIalways
havetoputupwi
thsomeofhi
sshi
tbecause
I
'm scar
edhewil
lwal
kaway
Hi
m:t
hat
sdeep.
.doeshehi
tyouorcheati
nyou?
Il
aughed.
.
Me:no.
.nohedoesn'tbuthefucksup..
alotand
someti
mesIcan'ttakeitbutIj
ust.
.y
ouknow. .
Hi
m:Iknow.
.Andi
thur
ts
Me:
hehasachi
l
d..
Hi
m:howol
d?
Me:
Idon'
tknow.
.bet
weensev
enorei
ght
Hi
m:t
hat
sfuckedup
Me:
yeah.
.andhekeptherasecr
et.
.Keptt
ell
i
ng
meit
snothisbutal
lalonghewaslyi
ngtome
Hi
m:whatdi
dhesay
?
Me:
typi
cal
"Iwasscar
edt
olosey
ou"shi
t
Hi
m:t
hat
'sbad
Me:
yeahandot
hert
hingshesev
er
done,somet
imeslovei
sjustmessedup,l
i
keit
's
all
aboutholdi
ngonbecauseoffearofal
lofi
t
scrambli
ngdown..
Hewi
pedmyt
ear
..
Hi
m:Dy
lanhasagi
rl
fr
iend.
.Ov
ert
hephone
Me:
phone?
Hi
m:yeah.
.metonFacebook..Andnowtheytal
k
onever
ysocialmedi
a..Theyevencal
leach
ot
herandexchangethethreemagicwords
Me:
i
tseemsser
ious
Hi
m:yes..
hesay
shesser i
ous.
.Butt
heni
tsbeen
t
imesinceDudufuckedhi
m over
Me:
yeah.
.what
'shername?
Hi
m:Ki
mber
lyIt
hink
Me:Wow!
doesheknowthere'
ssomet
hing
cal
l
edcatfi
shi
ngt
hisdays
Him:hesay
sshest
hereal
deal
sotheyar
e
supposedt
omeetwhenwegoback
Me:
Ihopeshesnotacat
fi
sh
Hi
m:y
eah.
.
Me:
all
ofy
ouguy
sar
eher
eor
-
Hi
m:y
eah.
.ev
enmom
Me:
ohhl
et'
sgot
hen
Hi
m:Ij
ustneededsomespace
Me:
spacet
imeov
erl
et'
sgo
Isaiddragginghim offmybed.Wewal ked
downstairsthenhel edmetotheteam.They
werewi thBandileandSam whower ebrai
i
ng.
Surpri
singl
yt heywereall
gett
ingalong.
Ev
enAl
exwast
her
ewi
tht
hem.
BK:f
inall
ytheQueendeci
dest
ogr
aceuswi
th
herpresence.
.
Dy
lan:
Ruby
!
Ant
ony
:Kr
is!
Me:
MrEur
ope!
Dy
lan:
Mmay
ourchi
l
dwaseat
ingmyphone
Me:
youmeanmypr
incess
BK:
i
fever
yonehadcut
ebabi
esl
i
key
our
s..
thi
s
wor
ldwoul
dbesofun.
.
Me:
mybabyi
sbeaut
if
ul
Al
ex:
shet
akesaf
terme
Sam:
schemi
ngt
endenci
es?
Al
ex:
Voet
sek!
Al
ex:
i
jobabe?
howi
sitt
her
e?
Shesaidwalki
ngtowar
dsBandi
l
eleav
ing
ever
yonelaughi
ng..
Al
ex:
wet
hequeeni
ngcoupl
eri
ghtl
ove?
Ndi
l
e:r
ightonpoi
nt
Me:Iwi
l
lst
eponyou.
.Iwi
l
lki
ll
awhor
e..
Idont
shar
enodi
ckwi
thnowhore
Al
exl
aughed.
.
Al
ex:
Iwi
l
lst
ayaway
..Ist
il
lwannal
i
ve
Iwalkedt
owar
dsBandi
l
ethenheki
ssedy
for
ehead.
.
Alex:
KanaLethai
swit
hAuntWameschi
l
d..
your
chil
disli
keyou,
shecl
i
ckswi
thev
ery
one
Me:
i
tsi
nthebl
ood
BK:
shedoesn'
tli
keme.
.shest
art
edcr
yingwhen
Ipi
ckedherup
Dy
lan:
mxm y
oumeanwheny
oupi
nchedher
?
Ant
ony
:that
showi
tst
art
s..
Bk:Ny
aamajit
a,l
any
elay
aanong!
(Iwi
l
lsoon
fucky'
al
lup)
Theyst
art
edl
aughi
ng.
.
Tshepi
e:t
hisboy
sneedsasj
ambok
Beingwithall
oft hem wasjustfun.LeahandQ
showedupl aterthatday.Iwasactually
surpr
isedtoseeQbutIwasmor esur pri
sedto
seeDadshowup.Hehadgai nedwei ghtand
l
ookedok.Hav i
ngt hewholefamil
ywi thme,al
l
thepeopl eIl ovear oundmewasj ust
overwhel mi ng.Iwi shedi tcoul dbel i
ket hatfor
therestofmyl if
e.I twast hebestChr i
stmas
ever.Wedi dexchangesomegi ft
sbutt hegi f
t
thattouchedmyhear twast heonef rom dad
andmom.I twashugef ramewi thmyev ery
pict
ur eev ersincebi r
th,event heembar rassi
ng
oneswer et here.Itwasj usthear twarmi ngthat
suchmemor i
eswer est il
lthere.Bandi l
ehadn' t
yetgiv enmehi spr esentbutIhadal readygi ven
him his.Itwasabr aceletIper sonall
ydesi gned
theot herdaywhenIwentt oaAr tshopwi th
Leah.Iwr oteournamesoni tthenIal sobought
himt hisot herleatherj acketIhadpr intedhes
nameon.I twasn'tmuchbutt hewhol ereasonI
gavet hoset ohim becauseIhadmadeanef for
t
i
nmaki ngthem speci al.
Ialsogottheti
met otal
kwithLeahpr i
vat el
y.I
t
seemedl i
keQr eal
l
ydiduseheral coholabuse
saga.Eventhoughheapologizedaboutitbutit
reall
yaff
ectedLeahthatIcouldseethet earsi
n
herey
esevent
houghsheref
usedtol
etthem
fal
l
.Somet
imeswordski
ll
smorethananythi
ng.
Ial
sogott
hechancet
o
t
alkwit
hAlex
.Accordi
ngtoher,
dist
anceki
l
led
t
hem buti
twasquit
eclearshef
oundsomeone.
ItwassadthatIhadtoleavethatsame
day,
eventhoughitwaslatebecauseBandil
e
hadameet i
ngtoattendthenextmor ni
ngbutif
Icoul
dputthedayonr epeateverydayIwoul
d.
.
Hi
m:and?
Ikeptqui
te,
wipi
ngmyt
ear
saway
.
Leah:
bae?
comeon.
.
Me:
ok.
.
It
ookadeepbr
eat
handwal
kedout
.
Donovanwal
kedupt
ome,
thenf
ixedaf
ew
t
hings.
Hi
m:y
oul
ookspl
endi
dot
esor
o
Me:
what
evert
hatmeanst
hanky
ou.
.
Leah:
youl
ookbr
eat
htaki
ng
Iwalkedtowardsthemirrorandlookedat
myself.Idi
dlookbeauti
ful.Thewhitegown
huggedmybodyper fect
lyr ev
eal
ingmybody .
Me:
Il
ook.
..
beaut
if
ul
Donovan:
becausey
ouar
ebeaut
if
ul.
.Youj
ust
dontseei
t
Me:Ican'tbel
iev
eit
smyweddi
ngt
omor
row.
.It
s
happening..
Leah:
i
tsher
e..Thebi
gday
..
I'
m superexci
ted
Me:
I'
m ner
vous.
.
Donov
an:
weknowbunny
..
Thedresshadfinal
lybeenmade. .Ithadsome
di
amonddet ai
l
satmybackandt hat'sal
lthat
cover
edmyback.I twasasl eevelesdress.
From mymidthighitwasflared.I
thadcosta
l
otduetothediamonddet ail
s.
Iwalkedbacki nt hebathroom andt ooki toff
.I
wasmor et hanner vousaboutt omor row.I
dressedbacki ntomydeni m shortsandmy
denim shi rtwhi chLeahhadt i
edmaki ngita
croptopt henwi t
h2but tonsundoner eveali
ng
somecl eav age.Wewer egoingt osome
party,
wel lmypar tytobeexact .Appar ently
becausei twasmyl astdaybei ngaf r
eewoman
Ihadt ocel ebrat ethelastday ,
thosewer e
Lesedi andThabi swords.Wal kingbackt oLeah
andDonov anIgav ethegownbackt oDonov an.
Leah:andnowi t
stimeforsomef un..
maybeyou
mi ghtaswell
tasteadi
fferentdi
ckandf i
ndout
thatniggahavebeendoingthewr ongthi
ngal
l
along
Me:
aii
don'tst
art
..
ummhDonov
an,
seey
ou
t
omorrow
Hi
m:t
omor
rowbunny
..
Wewalkedt
othei
8,Inev
err
eal
lydroveitr
ather
Il
i
kedhesLambor
ghinimor
ebutthenthei8
wasmybi r
thdaypresent
.Wewal kedt owar ds
thecarandgoti n.Il
ookedatmy selfont he
revi
ewmi rr
orlookingatmyhair
st yl
e, Il
ov edit
.
Myhai rhadgrownback,butwasj ustanAf r
o.It
hadbeenst rai
ghtenedandcur
led.Il ooked
real
lybeauti
ful
.JustthenIsawmyneckl ace
thatwasaroundmyneckf r
om ther ev i
ewmi rr
or.
Bandilehadboughti tformef orChristmas, i
t
wasar eal
lybeautifuldiamondneckl acej ust
l
ikethef ir
stonehehadboughtf ormewhenI
wasst il
l18butt hi
sonewaspr ett
ier
.
Accompani edbyithehadahugepai ntingof
meont heWal li
nt hesi t
tingroom,hesai dthats
howmuchspeci alIam t ohim.Speakingof
BandileIhav en'
tseenhi m eversincethe
begginigoft hi
sweekandi twasafri
dayal r
eady.
Idroveustot hehouseThabihadbooked.
Getti
ngtherewewer ewelcomedbyhalfnaked
men.Thabi andLesedii
hadalreadyst
art
edthe
fun.Lesedi
wal keduptomehol di
ngaglassof
wine.
Her
:andher
eist
heQueenher
sel
f.
.Thel
adyof
t
hemoment
Ismi l
edassomeguycameupt omet hentook
myhandsoIf eelhisabs.Itwasadi saster
night,
thatsallIcansay .ThabiandLesedi made
watchr ealli
veporn,Iwon'texplaint hatone.I
didn'
tfuckwi thnohooker ,no.Ifelt
uncomf ortabl
ebutLeahont heot herhand
reall
yhadf un.Thef ol
lowingmor ningIwokeup
withasl i
ghtheadache, itwasn'tthatmuch
becauseIdi dn'tdr
inkmuch.
Waki
ngup,
Donov
anwasal
lov
ermyf
ace.
Hi
m:bunnyi
tst
ime.
.wakeup
Me:
God!
Hi
m:wakeup!
Ifi
nal
lystagger
edoutofbedandwalkedt
othe
bathr
oom.Wat erwasalr
eadyf
il
ledf
orme.I
tookalongdeservedbat
h.
Af
terbat
hingIf
oundmygownandl
i
nger
ieon
thebed,l
ingeriewaswr i
tt
enLeahal l
overit
.But
beforeIchanged,themakeupar ti
stdidmy
makeup, togetherwit
hmyhair..Justfi
xi
ngit
hereandt here.Aft
erthemake-upIdressedup.
Ilookedbeaut i
ful
.Isatdownont hebedlooki
ng
atmyr efl
ectiononthemi r
ror
.
Leah:y
ounotgoi
ngtocr
yandr
uint
hemake
up..
I'
m goi
ngtosmacky
ou
Il
aughed,shewasdr essedi
napeachtolight
purpl
edress.
.i
twasal mostl
iket
herestofmy
bri
desmaidsdressesbutherswasabit
di
ffer
entbecauseshewast heMaidofhonour
soshehadt olookthepart
.
Me:
Ican'
tbel
i
evet
hisi
shappeni
ng
Her
:wel
lbet
terbel
i
evei
t
Me:i
fyouaskedmef oury
ear
sagoaboutthi
s
dayIwoul
dhav et
oldyousomet
hingdi
ff
erent
,
i
tsspri
nganditsmymywedding.
.
Leah:
youdeser
vet
obehappy
Me:
Idodon'
tI?
Leah:
yeay
oudo.
.i
twasal
lal
eapoff
ait
h
Me:
yes.
.andi
tpai
dof
f
Justthent
hedooropenedandmom walkedi
n.
Leahstoodupandkissedmycheekthen
walkedout.Mom st
art
edulul
ati
ng.
.
Me:
Ma!
Her
:mybaby
..
Shegavemeati
ghthugmaki
ngi
thar
dforme
tohol
dbackmytear
s.
Her
:mybaby
..
mypr
incess.
.
Me:
Ma.
.
Her
:I
'm sopr
oudofy
ou
Me:
i
-i
..
Icoul
dn'
tev
ent
alk.
.
Her
:babydon'
tcr
y,ohhmybaby
.Ihav
ewaited
f
orthi
sdayallmylif
eandyoul
ooksobeauti
ful
sweet
hear
tsodon'
tcr
y..
Shesaidasshewi pedawaymyt ears,
Ismi led
throughmytears.Ilookedatmyr efl
ectionandI
didlookbeaut
iful.Thewhiteweddi ngdr essthat
huggedmybodywasr eall
ybeautiful
,myhai r
perfect
lymade.Itwasmyweddi ngdayandGod
knowsIdon'tregretbeingheretoday ,Idon't
regrett
hedecisionsthatImadei nmyl i
fe
becausetheyaret heonesthatbroughtmeher e.
Her:
Itol
dyouKrissy..
youmybabyy
ouar
e
dest
inedtohappiness.
..
Me:
Il
ookbeaut
if
ul.
.
Iwhi
sper
edsof
tl
y.
.
Her:
ofcause,
Ihopethatyoungmanknowshow
l
uckyheistohaveyou..
.
Me:
I'
mthel
uckyone
Her:
nowgooutt
her
eandshowthem whatt
he
Thompsonwomenaremadeof
..
Al
exwal
kedi
nhol
dingPhi
we.
.
Al
ex:
l
ookathowmommyi
slooki
ng.
.
Mybabyl
aughed.
.
Phi
ee:
Mama!
Me:
mybaby
..
mypr
incess
Ist
oodupandt
ookherf
rom Al
ex.
Phi
we:
Mama!
Me:
wear
eget
ti
ngmar
ri
edbaby
..
Al
ex:
youl
ookr
eal
l
ybeaut
if
ul.
.
Me:thankyou.
.soismybaby.
.I'
m goi
ngmiss
her.
.Bandi
l
esai dweleav
ingf
orthehoney
moon
today
Al
ex:
wher
ey'
al
lgoi
ng?
Me:
hewon'
ttel
lme
Al
ex:
youar
egoi
ngt
ogetr
eal
..
thefwor
d.
Il
aughed.
.
Me:
shutup!
Af
terawhi
l
emom hadmademewearmyVai
l
.I
l
ookedbeaut
if
ul,
Ifel
tbeaut
if
ul.
Ismi
l
edasIgai
nedmyconf
idence.
Shelef
taf
terawhi
l
ewithAlexandPhi
we,
giv
ingmesomespaceaft
erthemakeupar
ti
st
re-
didmymakeup.
Ilookedatmy selfonthemirr
or, t
hiswasi t.AsI
turnedtogof ort hedoorIgott hebiggest
shockofmyl ife,
Venuswasst andingright
beforeme, l
ooki ngatme.Myhear twasj ust
beatingfastagai nstmychest.Ididn'
texpect
himt obeher e,notonmyweddi ngday .
Hi
m:y
ouar
est
il
lreal
l
ypr
ett
y
Me:
w-whatonear
thar
e..
.y
oudoi
ngher
e?
Hi
m:y
ouar
est
il
lpr
ett
y
Me:
Venus.
.
Him:
youknowIdontunder stand..
thi
sniggaof
your
skeepsonmessi ngup..butyoualways
seem t
of or
giv
ehim butbecauseImadeone
mist
ake..Youchosetoleave..
didyouevenlov
e
meKr
is?
Me:
Idi
d!y
ouwant
edt
ohur
tme.
.
Hi
m:Iwasnevergoingt
ohurtyou.
.It
oldy
ouI
l
oveyou!Butwhatdidy
oudo..
youleft
Me:
Venus!
Hi
m:andal
lal
ongIwaswai
ti
ng.
.Wai
ti
ngf
ory
ou
Me:
youknewwewer
eov
er
Hewal
kedupt
ome.
.
Hi
m:andI
'
m st
il
lhol
dingon
Me:
stopt
his!
stopi
t!
Hesmashedhi
slipsonminepushi
ngme
agai
nstt
hewal
l.Ipushedhi
m of
f.
Me:getout
!youwi
l
lrespectmyweddi
ngday
..
get
out
!
Him:i
fIcan'
thav
eyouKr
ist
in.
.Thennoonewi
l
l
orIwon'tl
iv
etoseei
t
Me:
getout
Hi
m:i
tsy
ourchoi
ceKr
is
Hesai
dtaki
ngoutagun.Icov
eredmymout
h
wi
thmyhand.
Hi
m: whati
sitgoi
ngtobe..wecanalways
l
eave,el
opetoget
her
..St
artafr
eshtoget
her.
.I
l
ovey ouKri
s
Me:
Il
ovehi
m..
Hepoi
ntedt
hegunatme.
.
Hi
m:whoi
sitgoi
ngt
obe.
.meory
ou?
Me:
Venusst
opt
his.
.st
opi
tnow!
Hi
m:whoi
sitgoi
ngt
obeKr
is?
Hecockedthegunst
il
lpoi
nti
ngi
tatme.Iwas
r
eal
lyscar
ed.
"
Howabouti
tsgoi
ngt
obey
ou?
"
Bandilesv oi
cesai
d.Hewasi nhisnav
yblue
tuxedol ooki
nggorgeous.Heshai
rcut
perfectedhesbeauty.Hewasalsohol
dinga
gun.
Ndi
l
e:howaboutt
hat
?
Venust
urnedandal
sopoi
ntedt
hegunatNdi
l
e.
Me:
canweal
lpl
easest
opt
his?
please
Ndi
l
e:t
her
e'snowayst
oppi
ngt
his
Venus:
yeah
Me:
please.
.
Igotbet
weent
hem.
.
Me:
Bandi
l
epl
ease.
.St
opt
his
Venus:someonei
sgoi
ngt
odi
eKr
is.
.makea
deci
sion
Wit
houtnowar
ningBandil
epull
edthetr
igger
,it
di
dn'
tmakenoi
se,j
ustsi
lent
.Venusfel
lonthe
gr
ound
Me:
ohhGod!
Thedoorswungopenandsomeguywal
kedi
n..
Hi
m:Venus?
shi
t!
Theguysai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsVenuswhowas
i
nthef
loornowbl
eedi
ng.
Venus:
Jer
emy
..I
-
Hi
m:ahhi
tsj
usty
ourar
m..
youar
egoi
ngt
obe
ok
Me:
Bandil
ebabe.
.putt
hegundown. .
pleaseput
i
tdown.
.wegoingtobelat
e..
please.
.
Bandil
ejustcoul
dn'tplacet
hegun
down,whatevert
hathadgotteni
ntohim was
j
ustoutofit.Il
it
erall
ysawtheothersi
deofhim
Ineverknewexisted.
Me:Bandi
lebabepl
ease.
.Pleasedoitf
or
me..
putthegundown..
I'
m beggingy
ou..
myl
ove
pl
ease
Ndi
l
e:t
hiski
dwannamesswi
thme
Jer
emy
:canweal
ldr
opt
his?
Thewor ddeathkeptonringi
ngi nmyhead.Thi
s
coul
dn'thappen,nott
oday.Ilookedbackat
Venus,hewasj ustshaki
ngont hefl
oor,no
doubtBandil
ewant edtofini
shhim off
.
Me:Bandi
l
eifyoupul
lthattri
ggeragai
nI'm
goi
ngtowalkaway..
Iwil
lleave.
.Babeplease
Iclosedt
hegapbet
weenusthenKi
ssed
him..t
heheel
smademeabittal
l
.
Heseemedt
ober
elaxi
ng.
.
Me:
cany
ougoandwai
tforme.
.att
heal
ter
?
Justt
henDadwal
kedi
n.God!
.
LEAH
.
Ihadalreadydri
ventot hevenue,Kr
iswas
supposedt ocomewi t
hherdad.Iwaspaci ng
upanddownbecauset heweddi ngshoul
dhav e
star
ted20mi nutesagobutbot hthebri
deand
thegroom werenotany wheretobefound.I
tookmyphoneandt r
iedKr i
s'
snumberagai n
butitl
edmet ovoi
cemai l
.Isi
ghedthenturned
towalktowardsBandilesmom.Acci dental
lyI
bumpedi ntoSam.
Hi
m:hey
Me:
hi.
.I
'
m sor
ry
Hi
m:i
tsok.
.ummhanynews?
Me:no.
.andI'
m get
ti
ngwor
ri
ed.
.Peopl
ear
e
st
arti
ngtotal
k
Hi
m:whocar
es.
.any
way
syoul
ookgood
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
thanky
ou,
soar
eyou
Ther
ewasawkwar
dsi
l
encebet
weenus.
Hi
m:ummhok.
.Iwi
l
lseey
ouar
ound.
.
Me:
yeah.
.seey
ou.
.ar
ound
Hi
m:ok
It
ri
edt
owal
kaway
..
Hi
m:wai
t!
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
yeah?
Hi
m:Ij
ustwant
edt
o-
"Babe?
"Av oi
cesai
dmaki
ngust
urn.I
twas
somegirl
.
Hi
m:hey
..
Her
:I
'v
ebeenl
ooki
ngf
ory
ou
Hi
m:j
ustwant
edt
oknowi
fther
ear
eleads
Her
:ok.
.
Hi
m:ummhbabet
hisKr
is'
sbestf
ri
endandLeah
t
hisi
suhhmy.
.
Her
:wi
fe.
.I
'
m hi
swi
fe,
ni
cet
omeety
out
oo
Me:
yeah.
.ummhIwi
l
lseey
ouguy
sar
oundey
..
Her
:yes
Iwalkedaway,
itwasqui t
eclearshewas
markinghert
erri
tory
.IsawQf r
om thecornerof
myey e.
.Hewasl ookingatmesmi l
ing.Ismil
ed
backasIwalkedtowar dshi
m.Thel oveofmy
l
if
e.
Me:
hey
Hi
m:t
heyar
ecomi
ng
Me:
ohht
hankGod!
Hi
m:y
oul
ookbeaut
if
ul
Me:
thanky
ou
Hi
m:andIl
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
Hehuggedme. .
Idi
dlovehim.JustthenIhear
d
someonecleart
hei
rthroat
.Ipull
edawayf r
om
thehuganditwasdragonladyhersel
f.
Q:
mom nott
odaypl
ease
Her:
yourf
atherwant
stoseey
ou.
.Andy
out
oo
Leah
Q:
I'
mint
hemi
ddl
eofsomet
hing.
.
Her:
whenyouar
edone,
pl
easecomeassoonas
possi
ble
Q:
ok
Shewi
pedhert
ear
sthenwal
kedaway
.
Me:
wewi
l
lgot
oget
her
..
Qsmi
l
ed.
.
Hi
m:obv
iousl
y.
.
Heki
ssedmyl
i
psmaki
ngmecur
lmyt
oes.
.
KRI
S
.
Bandil
eleftafewminut
esago,
itwasjusta
mess.Venus'sbrot
herwentwi
thVenustothe
hospit
al.Dadhel
dyhandaswedr ov
et othe
venue.
Him:It
oowoul
dhav
edonet
hesamei
fIwer
e
Bandil
e
Il
ookedathi
m.
Hi
m:thi
sboyjustlov
esyoutoomuchandi fyou
l
ovesomeoney ougoatall
endsforthem..
it
waschoi
ce.
.Hechosey ou.
.i
tsal
lforlov
e..
Il
ookedbackatt
her
oad.
.
Me:
Lizzyw-
Him:Lizzyi
satpeacer
ightnow.
.Idontthi
nk
ther
e'sanythi
ngshewantsmorethanyour
happiness.
.
Ismi
l
ed.
.
Me:
Imi
ssher
Hi
m:weal
lmi
ssher
..
Me:
shel
eftal
otofmemor
iesbehi
nd.
.
Hi
m:wonder
ful
memor
ies.
.
Me:
yes.
.
Hepul
l
edupatt
hev
enue.
.
Hi
m:r
eady
?
Me:
shi
tisr
eal
!
Hi
m:shi
tisf
uckedup.
.
Il
ookedathim wit
hmyj awont
hegr
oundt
hen
webursti
ntolaughter
.
.
Theweddingwentwel
l,
i
twentok.I
twasoneof
mybestmoment s,
nott
hemorningSaga
though.
IwaslaughingasIwant edtot
hrowthebouquet
butthenstopped,
winkedatQt henwalkedt
o
Leah.Shewassur pr
ised..
Her:
whatarey
oudoi
ng?Youneedt
othr
owt
he
bouquet
..
Ihandhert
hef
lower
s.
Me:
youdeser
vet
hem.
.
Isai
dtur
ningt
olookatQwhowasonhesknee.
Ever
yonehadgat
heredar
oundus.
Leah:
ohmyGod!
ohshi
t!
Shehel
dhermout
hast
ear
scascaded.
Q:Leahcanyoumakemet hehappi
estmanon
earthandbemywife.
.Idontknowhowtodo
thi
ssopleasej
ustsayyes
Ev
ery
onel
aughed.
.
Leah:
abi
gfaty
es!Yes!
yes?
yes!
Andthatshowthei
rstorybegins,
itsal
ll
ovej
ust
l
ikedadsaid.Qcal
ledmel astweektel
li
ngme
abouti
t.Ei
therwayitwasabouttime.
Iwalkedt
owardsmydearweddedhusbandwho
hadthedooral
readyopenedf
orme.Igoti
nsi
de
thensodi
dhe.Hespedaway .
.
Me:
wher
eto?
Hi
m:Sai
ntLuci
a,
it
'sani
sland
Il
ookedathi
m..
Me:
Ihav
enev
erhear
dofi
t.
.
Hi
m:t
hat
'st
hewhol
ereasonwhy
..
Hekissedmyhandashedr
oveawayt
othe
ai
rport
.Thi
swasit
..
.
SAM
.
Dad:
doy
ouknowwhaty
ouki
dshav
edone?
Me:
def
ini
tel
y
Mom:
Sam!
Me:
whatdoyouwantmet
osay
?I'
m notgoi
ng
t
oapol
ogizef
ormaki
ngTi
namywife.
.
Dad:
whatasonIhav
e!
Me:
andweexpect
ing.
.
Dadsi
ghed.
.
TinaandIhaddecidedt hatwhi
teweddi ngwi
ll
foll
owaf t
erwearelegall
ymar r
ied.Tinawas
planningtheweddi
ng,itwasgoingt obein2
mont hsfr
om now.
Mom:
congr
atul
ati
onst
hen.
.
Dad:
yes.
.
.
Afterawhi
leIwaswi
thDy
lanandt
her
estof
theircr
ew.
Bk:
wesawher
..
fi
nal
l
y!
Dy
lan:
Itol
dshesnotacat
fi
sh
Me:
Iwantt
oseehert
oo
Dy
lan:
ther
eshecomes
Il
ookedatwher
etheywer
elooki
ng.
.
Tshepi
e:shesr
eal
l
yhot
!
Me:
fuck!
Q'ssi
ster
?
Theyl
ookedatme.
.
Me:
Ihopeyouareabl
etohandl
eherbrot
her
..
Hewil
lmakeyourl
if
ealiv
inghel
ltr
ustme
BK:ai
ithat
'swhyI
'
m st
il
lsi
ngl
e..Boy
s!l
et'
sgo
fi
ndprey..
BKsai
dwalki
ngaway
,Ant
onyandTshepi
e
fol
l
owedhi
m.
Dy
lan:
justhowi
sherbr
other
?
Me:hewi
llf
uckyouupt
haty
ouwi
l
lregr
etbei
ng
bor
n..
youseeLeah?
Dy
lan:
yeah
Me:
Leah'
sfi
ancé.
.Ist
hebr
other
Dy
lan:
hol
yshi
t!
Me:
yeah.
.y
ouar
eal
one
Isai
dwal
ki
ngt
owar
dsf
ood.
.
.
~5YEARSLATER~
.
.
KRI
STI
NTHULANI
.
Me:Phi
we!
Happy
?Comeonguy
s..
I'
mrunni
ng
l
ate!
Isaidfeedi
ngCal
vi
nwhowasget
ti
ngr
eadyf
or
preschool.
Happycamedownaf
terawhi
l
e.
Happy
:It
oldy
ouIcangot
oschool
alone
Me:I
'
my ourmom,Ialway
swantt
oensur
eyou
ar
esafe.
.Isi
tbecauseof.
..
Happy
:mom!
Me:
what
?justaski
ng.
.
Happy
:wher
e'sy
ourhusband?
Me:
he'
sgone.
.Youar
est
il
lyoungt
o-
Happy
:todat
e..
Iknowbutcomeon.
.I
'
m 13!
Me:
wher
e'sPhi
we?
Happy
:st
il
lsul
ki
ngaboutgoi
ngt
oschool
.
.
Me:
Simphi
wedontmakemecomeaf
tery
ou
Iscr
eamed.
.
Me:I
'mrunni
ngl
ate,
Ihav
eacour
tcasepl
ease
gogether
Happy
:ok
Iwi
pedawaythesof
tpor
ri
dgeonCalvi
n'
s
mouth.Cal
vi
nismysonwho'
s3.Bandi
lehad
beensohappywhenwef oundoutt hatIwas
carr
yingaboy .Movingt oL. Ahadbeenanew
star
t,
onacl eanplate.Sabr i
nagav eupHappy's
ri
ghtstomebutHappydoesspendt i
mewi t
h
hermom dur i
nghol i
day s.She'
sr eal
lyf
ondof
meandI 'm gl
adwear eclose.Itrymybestto
bethebestmot hertoher ,toPhiweandt oCal
vin.
Somet i
mesi t
shardj ugglingbetweenbeing
mom, awifeandal awy er.
Justt
henBandi
l
egoti
nsi
det
hehouse.
.
Me:
for
gotsomet
hing?
Hi
m:y
eah.
.af
il
e
Me:
ok.
.
Hi
m:Ist
il
lthi
nkweneedt
ohi
reahel
per
..
Hesaidashecametowar
dsmeandki
ssedmy
l
ips.Hesmel
theav
enly
.
Me:
yeah.
.
Hi
m:boyboy
!
Hesai
dtaki
ngCal
vi
nfr
om me.
.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
ldr
ophi
m..
Me:
ohht
hanky
ou
Justt
henHappywal
keddownwi
thPhi
we.
Me:
your
eal
l
yneedt
ost
opt
hisSi
mphi
we!
Phi
we:
I'
mti
redofschool
..
li
ker
eal
l
yti
red
Shesai
dwi
thanat
ti
tude.
.
Me:I'
mr eal
l
ysorryMi
ss.
.buty
ougoi
ngt
o
school.
.i
nthecarnow
Sheroll
edherey
est
henwenttoBandi
l
ewho
kneel
eddownsohesdaught
ergi
veshi
m hi
s
ki
ss..
Phi
we:
l
ovey
ouDaddy
Ndi
l
e:l
ovey
out
oopr
incess
Happywal
kedupt
ohi
m andhuggedhi
m..
Happy
:l
ovey
oudad
Ndi
l
e:Il
ovey
out
oocuddl
ebunny
Theywal
kedoutl
eav
ingCal
vi
nimi
tat
ingt
hem.
..
Cal
vi
n:l
ovedaddy
Ndi
l
e:l
ovey
out
ooboyboy
Iwal
kedupt
ohi
m..
Me:
Il
ovey
ou
Hesmiledmakingmyfacebur
n.HeputCal
vi
n
backonHischairt
henpul
ledmetowar
dshi
m.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
oumor
e..
Me:
Iwi
l
lcomeov
erdur
ingl
unch
Heshandwentdownt
omyass.
.
Hi
m:may
bewecanhav
eaqui
cki
e
Me:
areal
goodqui
cki
e..
Isai
dbi
ti
ngmyLowerl
i
pmaki nghim gr
oan
whil
epr
essi
ngmeagai
nstheserect
ion.
.
Hi
m:orev
ennow
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
obel
ate
Hi
m:y
ouar
etheboss
Me:
Ihav
eacour
tcase
Hi
m:andIhav
eameet i
ng.
.Just10mi
nut
esand
t
hekidsar
esti
ll
ear
ly.
.
Me:
Cal
vi
n?
Hetookhisbottl
eofjui
ceandgav
eitt
oCal
vi
n
wholookedpleased.
.
Me:
youknowwhatt
hisdoest
ohi
mint
he
mor
ning
Hedi
dn'
tl
ist
enj
ustt
hrewmeonhesshoul
der
t
henwal
kedwit
hmeupstai
rs.
Ourl ovenev erreall
ydiedout ,
itbecamemuch
mor est r
ongerwi thtime.Ican'twishf ornothi
ng
elser eal
ly.Thisisadr eam comet rue.Leahand
Qf inall
ygotmar r
iedandsodi dSam andTi na,it
wasr eal
lyfunatt hei
rweddi ngandQ' sf at
her
passedawayont hedayofmyweddi ng.My
mi ndst i
l
ltell
smet hat'
sthedeat hthef ort
une
tell
erwast al
kingabout .I
tsbeenf iv
ey ears
sinceIhav ebeencancerf ree.It
sagoodf eeli
ng,
knowi ngIst il
lhaveal ongwayt ogo.Deat his
notmyopt i
ony et
.Asf orDy l
anhesengagedt o
Kim,Iwasshockedwhenhet ol
dmet hathes
girl
fr
iendi sQ'ssister.Qdoesgi vehim ahust l
e
hereandt here.Tshepie,wellTshepi efinal
lygot
backwi thAl exandt heyarecur rentl
y
cohabi t
ing..Notthatmom i shappy ..Shesmad
pissed.Alexwast ell
ingmet hatsheorTshepi e
andDy l
anwant stohav etheirweddi ngont he
sameday .Asf orBkandAnt ony ..
theyar edati
ng
twinsisters..Idontknowhow. .butits
happeni ng.Mom anddad. ..
theyar est i
l
l
denieyingi tbutIthi
nkt heyarer econcili
ng.
Ok,wher ewer ewe, y
eahhewal kedwi t
hme
upstairsandt hrewmeonourbed.
Hi
m:t
hisi
sgoi
ngt
ober
eal
qui
ck
Hesaidunzi
ppi
nghi
str
ouser
..Hecamet
omy
f
acelayi
ngontopofme.
.
Hi
m:Il
ovey
ou
Me:
Il
ovey
out
oo
.
Justthosethreewordsmademef eelr
eal
l
oved,feelal
i
ve.Thosethreewordswereenough
tomakemef orgetaboutther
estoftheworl
d.
JustIloveyou

THEEND