Paraphrasing Basics

What is paraphrasing? Expressing, in our own words, the meaning we got from what someone said.

Why How
• Paraphrasing is the most direct way to show • In your own words, share what you think the
someone that their thoughts and feelings speaker meant.
were understood.
• If the speaker’s statement is short, keep
• Paraphrasing helps people feel that their your paraphrase short.
ideas are valid and respected because there
is no judgment involved. • If the speaker’s statement is lengthy, try to
summarize in your paraphrase. (It may help
• Paraphrasing allows speakers to hear how to break long statements into key points to
their ideas are being interpreted by others. follow-up on with separate paraphrases.)

• Paraphrasing gives speakers a chance to • To build trust in your intent to understand,

clarify or confirm to avoid misunderstanding. begin the paraphrase with a comment like:
It’s especially helpful when: o “It sounds like you’re saying…”
o The topic is complex or complicated. o “Let me see if I understand…”
o The words used can have more than one
meaning. • After paraphrasing, observe the speaker’s
reaction. Look for verbal and non-verbal
o There are distractions. feedback that the speaker feels understood.
o Strong emotions are expressed, and you Ask, “Did I get it right?” If not, ask for
want to show that you care. clarification until shared understanding is
o Shared understanding is important. reached.

• Paraphrasing supports people in thinking out

loud.

Adapted from Facilitator’s Guide to Participatory Decision-Making by Sam Kamer, et. all, 2014.
 Paraphrasing Practice

Tip Example(s)
Frame the paraphrase as a question, so that the “If I hear you right, you’re saying…?”
speaker can respond to confirm, correct, and/or
“So is it accurate to say…?”
expand.
“It sounds like you expect…is that right?”

Use your own words as well as some of the key If someone said: “As a business manager, I want a
words the speaker used, and explore your clear understanding of the value you provide.”
understanding of what the speaker meant.
You might paraphrase: “I hear that you’d like clarity
about the value we bring to your business. By value,
do you mean impact, services, or something else?”

Reflect back what you sense about the underlying “That sounds like it’s frustrating when…”
feelings or impact on the speaker.
“I’m sensing that you felt overwhelmed – am I
close?”

When you need a little more information to If someone said: “Sometimes the service I get just
understand before you paraphrase, ask for an isn’t up to par.”
example.
You might ask: “Could you give me an example of
what that looks like?” or “Could you tell me about a
time when that happened?”

Paraphrasing Exercise Instructions:

Two roles: Paraphraser and Speaker
• The Paraphraser asks a question from the list below, and the Speaker provides a complete response.
• When the Speaker finishes, the Paraphraser paraphrases and invites the Speaker to expand, clarify, or
confirm.
• If time, choose another question and repeat the process.
• Switch roles and repeat the exercise.

Exercise Questions:
1. What would your ideal vacation look and feel like?
2. What are some of your strong skills, and what aspects of work make good use of those skills?
3. What do you think about self-driving vehicles on public roads?
4. What are your thoughts on the education system here in the United States?
 Open-ended versus Closed-ended Questions

Questions can help gather more information and check understanding. No type of question is better than another
in every situation. Depending on what you seek to achieve, one type of question will likely be more effective than
another. Two primary types of questions are open-ended and closed-ended.

Characteristics of Open-ended questions Characteristics of Closed-ended questions

General: General:
• Promote discussion by asking someone to • Limit discussion by asking for brief and specific
open up and share their thoughts, answers, relevant facts, agreement, verification,
knowledge, and/or feelings. decision, etc.
• Ask the respondent to think and make • Ask the respondent to provide known information
(possibly new) connections. and/or clarify information quickly and concisely.
• Hand control of the conversation to the • Keep control of the conversation with the
respondent. questioner.
• Are typically non-threatening (no judgment, • Can feel threatening (show bias or judgment, place
bias, blame, or suggestion). blame, or imply a suggestion).
• Can be time-consuming or require more • Require little time investment or effort to create
effort to create and use. and use.
• May result in unnecessary or excessive • May result in misleading assumptions or
information. conclusions.
Often begin with: Often begin with:
• What…? • Is/are…?
• How…? • Do/did…?
• Why…? • Would/will…?
• Could/can…?
Note: An open-ended inquiry may also begin with • Was/were…?
"Tell me" or "Describe.” • Have/has…?
• Which…?
(Caution: Questions that begin with “why” may
• Who…?
sound critical or judgmental depending on the
circumstances and use.) • When…?
• Where…?
Are good for: Are good for:
• Developing an open conversation: "What did • Getting quick and easy facts and answers: “When
you do on vacation?" might you have this ready for review?”
• Finding out more detail: "What else do we • Concluding a discussion or making a decision: "Now
need to do to make this a success?" that we know the facts, are we all agreed this is the
• Finding out the other person's opinion or right course of action?"
issues: "What do you think about those • Testing your understanding, or the other person's:
changes?" "So, if I get this qualification, I will get a raise?"
• Generating thinking and awareness: “How • Frame setting: "Are you happy with the service
might you handle that?” from your bank?"
 Tips for Identifying Customer Expectations

If you get this… Then... Example Statements with Possible Responses:

Straight expectation Seek shared meaning of Customer: I expect you to be professional.
those words Interviewer: I’m curious, what does it look like to you to be
professional?
Want Look for the underlying, Customer: I’d like to see reports organized differently.
(specific solution or broader expectation Highlight things we need to talk about, and limit the
request) amount of information on a page.
Interviewer: It sounds like you expect reports to be clearer than
they are – is that right?
- What would an ideal report show you?
- I’m curious how you use the reports.
Disappointment story Look for the mirror image Customer: I’m often in the dark about how our project is
(form of reality) progressing, and it feels like I have to call to keep
things moving.
Interviewer: So, you expect to be informed about progress, and
that we would make sure things keep moving
smoothly – is that right?
- Tell me more about what project information is
important for you to know and when.
Satisfaction story Confirm what you heard Customer: I’ve been really happy with how quickly people
(form of reality) respond to my emails and phone calls.
Interviewer: That’s great! It sounds like you expect timely and
responsive communication – correct?
- How quickly do you expect someone will respond
to you?
Vague / general Dig a little Customer: Everything’s great!
feedback Interviewer: I’m so glad to hear that. I’m curious in what specific
ways things are great.

Question Gently remind them of the Customer: What services do you offer?
purpose of the session (to Interviewer: It sounds like it might be unclear what services we
hear their expectations) offer, and I’d be happy to get you some more
Let them know you’ll detailed information after this session.
capture and respond to - I’m curious if it’s an expectation that our services
questions after the session would be clearly communicated and easy to find.
Maybe probe to see if the
question hints at an
expectation
Comment about other Listen Customer: I would like better communication from your Lean
DES programs or team.
Confirm what you heard In
agencies follow-up Interviewer: I hear that you may have some unmet expectations
about communication. I’ll share this with Lean
Tell them you’ll pass on
Transformation Services.
the information
- This makes me curious what communication
In follow-up, inform them expectations you have for us.
you passed it on
 Listening Skill Building Ideas
Showing Empathy Paraphrasing Asking Probing Questions Asking Open-Ended Questions
 Be on the lookout for  Read an article or watch  Choose a word like  Choose a conversation to
things that sound like a TED Talk. Pause at the “communication” or observe (perhaps a team
complaints. When you end of each “upset” and practice meeting or discussion between
hear one, take a minute to paragraph/point and asking a clarifying question family members). Count how
consider how that person paraphrase what you every time you hear it this many closed-ended and open-
may be feeling and provide heard or read. week. Try not to use the ended questions you hear.
an empathetic response. same question every time. Consider which open-ended
 Read an article, website,  Write a list of follow-up questions you could have
or news story that comes Listening without Solving questions to use if asked if you had been in the
from a different point-of-  Ask a friend about his or someone answers “How conversation.
view than your own. her pet peeve. Practice was your day?” or “How  Declare an open-ended
Imagine the author is asking questions to learn are you doing?” with the questions day (or hour).
standing in front of you. more about their feelings response, “Fine.” Try using Challenge yourself to flip as
Write down 3 responses or the problem’s impact a different question every many close-ended questions as
you could give to show without offering any day this week. you can during that time
understanding and solutions or suggestions. period.
empathy.

In General….
 Connect with a partner who is working on the same skill. Hold 10 minute
practice sessions a few times each week.
 Draw a visual habit tracker (check Pinterest or the internet for ideas) and fill in
when you successfully practice your listening habit.
 Find a friend and arrange a signal you can give each other whenever you exhibit
a listening behavior you are working on improving. For example, a raised
eyebrow anytime you offer an unasked for solution.