Yazebas Bed and Breakfast
Yazebas Bed and Breakfast
Breakfast
O
Yazeba's Bed & Breakfast
Possum Creek Games Inc.
PO Box 18091
Philadelphia, PA, 19147
www.possumcreekgames.com
residents
Gertrude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .50
Hey Kid. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Sal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Parish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .56
Amelie . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Yazeba . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
starting guests
Mr. Boggs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .64
Monday . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65
Niviana “Viv” Of Llyn. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .66
Percival “Percy” Combustion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .67
The Rabbits In The Garden, Who Wear Little Outfits . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .68
Rag-And-Bones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .69
Lady Sheridan "Sherry” Du Sang . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70
Yola Oleander . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 71
early chapters
Chapter 5: Another Rainy Day. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74
Chapter 3: Wash Cycle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Chapter 6: Firefly Catching . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82
Chapter 10: The Breakfast Feast . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .86
Chapter 7: The Witch's Missing Shadow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
Chapter 1: A Birthday for Gertrude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94
Chapter 14: Lights Out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .98
Chapter 16: Ice Skating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
Chapter 18: Who Knows How A Garden Grows? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108
Chapter 36: Sal Has Written A Play . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
Chapter 21: Gone Fishin'. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Chapter 12: After Dinner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120
Chapter 9: The Pancake War . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
Chapter 13: Hey Kid Goes A-Guising . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
Chapter 25: A Mug of Winter Cheer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Chapter 23: The Longest Night of the Year . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
intermediate chapters
Chapter 29: The Remodeled Library . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .228
Chapter 27: Snickerberry Season . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 232
Chapter 22: The Big Screen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .236
Chapter 30: A Trip to the Waterfront . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .242
Chapter 63: Lost In the Cornmaze . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .246
Chapter 62: The Perfect Pumpkin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 252
Chapter 33: The Tomtom Hunt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .256
Chapter 15: Shovels at Dawn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 260
Chapter 62: Let's Start a Band . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .264
Chapter 20: One-Of-A-Kind Meta-Clone-O-Matic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 268
Chapter 2: The Night Market . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .276
Chapter 49: Rock On! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .282
Chapter 46: The Midnight Mushroom Hunt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 286
Chapter 32: Earthsick. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .292
Chapter 67: The Rusalka's Mirror . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .298
Chapter 45: Snow Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .306
Chapter 37: Our Little Island . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 310
Chapter 40: Spring Cleaning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 314
Chapter 50: Stargazing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 318
Chapter 53: Amelie's Big Day Off . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 322
Chapter 66: All Hallow's Eve. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .326
Chapter 42: Moon Prince Gets a Job . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 330
Chapter 75: The Crash . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 334
Chapter 72: The Debutante Ball . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 338
resident Journeys
Gertrude’s Journeys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 348
Hey Kid’s Journeys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 350
Sal’s Journeys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .354
Parish’s Journeys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .355
Amelie’s Journeys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 356
Yazeba’s Journeys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .357
Moon Prince’s Journeys . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 358
late chapters
Chapter 1: Another Birthday for Gertrude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .364
Chapter 77: Yazeba Casts A Spell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 372
Chapter 95: Bonfire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .388
Chapter 83: Day At The Beach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .396
Chapter 90: The Witch's Old Hostel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 408
Chapter 86: Back to School . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .422
Chapter 98: Home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 432
Chapter 99: Goodbye Yazeba . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .440
Welcome G Yazeba’s
Welcome to Yazeba's bed & Breakfast a
Bed H Breakfast
MYSTERIES OF THE BED
& BREAKFAST
On the front door of Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, there is a sign which reads: “No soliciting,
trespassing, romancing, snooping, snitching, or unnecessary smalltalk welcome.” Yazeba
reserves her temper for those she catches violating these rules.
Underneath that sign is a second, smaller sign which reads “Room For Everyone.”
It is always September 15th inside the Bed & Breakfast (even if it’s summer, spring or
winter outside). September 15th is Yazeba’s favorite day of the year.
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast is in many places at many times, but it is most frequently near
the cozy village of Veilridge, somewhere on the East Coast, sometime in the 20th century.
Every room is always next to every other room. No matter what we’ve said in the past
about the layout of the Bed and Breakfast, the floor plan is always convenient to the matter
at hand.
The Bed & Breakfast is both quaint and sprawling, with enough rooms that it can always
accommodate any number of guests—except Gertrude.
Sal
A weary young adult who once studied to be Yazeba’s apprentice, before leaving
magic behind. Now he works as the night porter, but hopes to someday become a
rockstar—although it’s not clear how he’s going to get there.
Hey Kid
Abandoned on the front door as a baby, they grew up amid the chaos of the Bed &
Breakfast. Now they’re a delightfully rambunctious devil-child, who causes disaster
wherever they go.
Parish
Once a gallant knight, cursed by a wicked wizard to take the form of a frog. Now
he’s the Bed & Breakfast’s head (and only) cook, but he’s still a courageous hero at
heart.
Amelie
A robotic maid acquired by the Bed & Breakfast. They are the meticulous house-
keeper constantly struggling (and failing) to keep the Bed & Breakfast tidy. They’re
still parsing out who they’re supposed to be.
Yazeba
The owner of the Bed & Breakfast, a cold and heartless witch with no patience for
mirth or chicanery. Some say she secretly cares for her residents, but no one dares
suggest it anywhere she might overhear.
Assorted Guests
There are many guests at Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, from the helpful Rabbits In The
Garden Who Wear Little Outfits to the nefarious villain Rag-And-Bones. We can
meet them later!
#
18
GettinG Started a
Gett3g Started
OVERVIEW
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast is many things. It’s a bed and breakfast, of course, but it’s also this
book right here. And this book is a book, of course, but it’s also a role-playing game—the
sort of game we can play with our friends around a table, or on a call while hanging out, or
even very, very slowly by mail.
Like the Bed & Breakfast itself, this book can seem sprawling at first, but it will become
cozy once we’ve taken a little tour. We don’t need to memorize the entire layout to start
playing—in fact, many parts of Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast will be off limits, at first. We can
explore the B&B’s many secrets after we’ve settled in.
If you are the Concierge (pg. 20), the caretaker of this book, you’ll only need to acquaint
yourself with the cast and with the flow of play (as outlined here) to be able to confidently
guide your friends into the B&B for the first time.
To start playing Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, we’ll pick a Chapter (pg. 23) and follow its
rules. Some Chapters are Locked and will need to be Unlocked before they can be played,
but there’s no set order we should play them in, and we can replay our favorite chapters as
many times as we’d like.
Each Chapter stars a few specific Characters (pg. 19), plus whoever else you’d like to
bring along. Usually they’ll require one or two long-term Residents of the Bed & Breakfast,
but sometimes a Chapter will also call for one of the Guests. We’ll need someone to play
each Character starring in the Chapter, and once those roles are filled, everyone else can
choose to play any Character who’s been Unlocked. (You can even play multiple Guests at
the same time, if you’d like!)
When we play through a Chapter, we make decisions for our Characters, represent them
and their desires, and explore how they behave. We speak as them and describe what they
do. Our Characters do Bingos and Whoopsies (pg. 21) to show off their strengths and
indulge in their weaknesses.
Once a Chapter comes to a close, we have some Housekeeping (pg. 32) to do. The
Chapter may award us a Memento (pg. 35) of our adventure, which we’ll put on a Shelf
(pg. 34) to start unlocking new Chapters and characters. We’ll also check to see if we can
make any progress on our Journeys (pg. 22) or fill out any Tracks (pg. 27).
After Housekeeping is done, we’ll take a break and decide whether to play another
Chapter. Sometimes we’ll want to play several Chapters in a single sitting, while other
times just one will do. Just remember to take breaks! The Bed & Breakfast will wait.
CHARACTERS #
19
residents
a GettinG Started
Residents are Characters who are always around. Some Residents have jobs at the Bed &
Breakfast, although a couple of them mostly just seem to hang out, and not everyone with a
job is a Resident. Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast is first and foremost a story about the Residents’
lives, their triumphs and tribulations, and the way they grow alongside each other.
Whenever we play, it’s likely that we’ll swap between Residents from Chapter to Chapter.
We shouldn’t worry about playing a Resident precisely the same way another player did;
everyone will bring out different facets of a Resident, and all of them are equally authentic.
It’s a lot of fun to share Residents, and to mix up which Characters we play. When we
give a Character to someone else, it gives that Character a chance to grow in new ways.
When we first arrive at Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, there are six Residents living there
(including Gertrude, who has only just started sleeping in the laundry room,) but it’s possi-
ble that there are other Characters out there looking for somewhere to call home.
Pierogies
Hey Kid clambered up onto one of the stools in the kitchen and did a little spin. “Hey
Parish Hey Parish Hey Parish, where did that girl in the laundry room come from? Is
she a guest? Is she going to go home someday?
Parish didn’t look up from his pierogies, as he patiently arranged them on the tray.
“No, she’s not in the guest book. I don’t think she has anywhere to go home to.”
Hey Kid lit up, and pawed a pierogi off the tray. “Well that just means her home’s
here, like me!” They declared, mouth full of potato and cheese.
guests
Guests also stay at the Bed & Breakfast, but they don’t spend as much time at the center of
things. Guests support the business, participate in events and goings on, and can be spotted
around town—but they’ve got other things going on in their lives, and another home,
somewhere else (even if “somewhere else” means “beneath the garden.”) They’ll come and
go as we play.
When you want to play a Guest, you can play one at a time, or several all at once. If a
chapter calls for a Gaggle of Guests, that means one person should take on five or six of
their favorites from the Guests currently unlocked. To play more than one Guest, take all
of their sheets and give each of them a small amount of your focus, taking care not to over-
shadow the other players. If the Chapter hands out resources like Chaos Coins or Tokens,
you can track them separately for each Guest or have them all share—whichever seems like
more fun.
# You can even split a single Guest amongst multiple players, if you’d like. Some Guests,
20 like The Rabbits In The Garden Who Wear Little Outfits, are an entire crowd by them-
selves! Sometimes you might even play multiple Guests at once, in a great big gaggle.
GettinG Started a
When we first arrive at Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, there are a handful of Guests staying
there, although over time new Guests will arrive and familiar faces will depart. When one
of our favorite Guests leaves the Bed & Breakfast, we can usually bring them back by cre-
ating a Loose Track (like those on pg. 146) or through the Abandoned Bus Stop (pg. 166).
Bag- And-Rones
A figure who resembled someone in a bear suit lugging a heavy suitcase marched
up to the front desk. “I would like to book a room under the name…Bag-And-Rones.”
Sal eyed the figure up and down, and then looked at a sign on the corkboard. “No
relation to Mr. Rag-And-Bones, I assume? Because I have a sign here telling me to
deny entrance to a particularly unpleasant skeleton of a very similar name.”
The person in the bear suit shook his head. “No sir, I’m not a skeleton at all. Just an
ordinary bear, on an ordinary vacation! Totally normal.”
Sal narrowed his eyes, and sighed. “I suppose there’s room for everyone, Mr.
Rones. I’ll fetch you a key.”
The particularly unpleasant skeleton beneath the bear suit cackled.
the Concierge
If you are the owner of this copy of Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, you are the Concierge. As
Concierge, in addition to playing a Character in each Chapter like everyone else, you’re also
responsible for keeping track of all the papers, showing new players their way around, describing
the ins and outs of the world, and making sure the Bed & Breakfast is somewhat neat and tidy.
As Concierge, you are the game’s facilitator. Give the rules a read-through so you can explain
how the Bed & Breakfast works to your fellow players. If anyone needs help picking a character
or Chapter, you’re the best person to give them advice.
As Concierge, you are also the narrator. You’ll read (or ask others to read) the of narration
that precedes every Chapter, and you’ll fill in descriptions and events whenever the other players
seem unsure.
Finally, the Concierge is also a bookkeeper. You’ll supervise us when we place stickers to
make sure they end up in the right places, and when we’re done for the day you’ll hold on to all
of the sheets and cards and tokens and coins for next time.
For more advice on the Concierge, including tips and tricks, skip ahead to pg. 39.
Note: The Concierge is not necessarily a Character of their own right per se, but if you’d like you can
imagine the Concierge is literally you (the player) in a spiffy uniform with a proper little hat, working
at the Bed & Breakfast behind the scenes.
Character Sheets #
21
Every playable Character at the Bed & Breakfast is represented by a Character Sheet, which
a GettinG Started
tells us a little about them and suggests some actions they might take in any given Chapter.
A Character isn’t limited to what is written on their sheet—there’s always more to a
Character than our first impression of them, and they’ll continue to grow and change as we
play. Likewise, everyone has days and situations where they behave surprisingly, so we never
have to worry about playing a Character “wrong.”
Identities
Every Character has a name and some pronouns. We can also find little illustrations of the
Characters throughout this book. If we want to play that Character with a different name or
pronouns, we simply may. We can also imagine our characters looking however we choose!
The illustrations are there for inspiration.
Facts About Me
Most characters have a few quick facts to introduce them.
Doodle Spots
Lots of Character Sheets have spaces on them to draw pictures, write song lyrics, mark hearts,
and mess with the sheet in a way that conveys meaning. These have no mechanical purpose
within the game itself, but whatever you choose to put onto a Sheet will convey a great deal of
emotional weight. If a Character Sheet ever gets too covered in doodles, we can just paperclip
another piece of paper onto the back, or make a new Sheet and transfer over only the most
important bits.
Paperclips
If a Character has been played before, they may have a number of Keepsakes paperclipped to
them from previous Chapters, providing insight into what they’ve been up to lately. We can
peruse or ignore them at our pleasure.
Doing a Bingo or a Whoopsie will usually cause something to happen that moves the
story forward, as defined by the rules for each Chapter.
Journeys
Every Resident and almost every Guest has a Journey, which outlines how that Character
can grow and change over time. Every Character’s Journey is different, and they can range
from “working on a new song” to “learning powerful magic” to “getting out of bed each
morning.” Think of a Journey as that Character’s direction—what they’re struggling to get
done, what they’re working on long-term, and where they hope to get to someday.
When we pick characters to play, we should glance at their Journeys to get an idea of #
where they’re at and to see if they offer any extra Bingos or Whoopsies, but otherwise we 23
don’t need to worry about their Journey during the Chapter. When we do Housekeeping
a GettinG Started
after the Chapter, we’ll check to see if their Journeys advance or change.
For more about how Journeys work, turn to the Housekeeping section, starting on pg. 32.
PICKING CHAPTERS
Every time we come together to play Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, we’re going to play through
one or more Chapters and the Housekeeping afterwards. Most Chapters should take about
60-90 minutes to play. Chapters can be played and even replayed in any order. The longest
Chapters can be found in the back of the book.
Each Chapter tells a stand-alone story, while also fitting into the greater tapestry of
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast. It’s totally okay for new players to hop in for just one Chapter, or
for someone who usually plays to miss some Chapters because they’re busy or not in the
mood to play.
There are many Chapters inside this book, although some of them are Locked to start
with. There are also more Chapters elsewhere—in other books, on the world wide web, or
even hidden away between these very pages…
If we can find a Chapter, and it’s not Locked, we can play it. There are a lot of Chapters
to choose from! If we want to narrow down our selection, it’s helpful to look at a list (such
as in the Table of Contents or in the Chapter Index on pg. 482) and pick a Chapter based
on the name and description we think sounds most exciting.
#
24
tags
Every Chapter is marked by Tags, little symbols in the corner by the Chapter’s title that tell
GettinG Started a
us important information about the Chapter. Here are the Tags used in this book:
Locked Tag
This indicates the Chapter is Locked, and we’ll need to Unlock it before playing.
Check out the Locked Materials Section on pg. 35.
Frantic Tag
This indicates the Chapter is set in the Frantic Mood, and needs coins to play. The
Frantic Mood is a time of earnest competition, situations that have escalated out
of control, sunny spring afternoons and colorful autumn mornings.
Relaxed Tag
This indicates the Chapter is set in the Relaxed Mood, and needs tokens to play.
The Relaxed Mood is a time of easy fun, imaginations running wild, lazy summer
afternoons and rainy spring mornings.
Pensive Tag
This indicates the Chapter is set in the Pensive Mood, and needs tokens to play.
The Pensive Mood is a time of thoughtful contemplation, meandering conversa-
tions, campfire philosophizing and festive winter rituals.
Eerie Tag
This indicates the Chapter is set in the Eerie Mood, and needs a deck of cards to
play. The Eerie Mood is a time of long shadows, dreadful apparitions, autumnal
rustling and icy dark.
Party Tag
This indicates the Chapter is well-suited for a large gathering of people. Check
out the Big Parties Section on pg. 44.
Quiet Tag
This indicates the Chapter has a maximum number of players, and is best suited for
small gatherings (1-3 players). Check out the Small Gatherings Section on pg. 46.
Weird Tag
This indicates the Chapter uses the game’s mechanics in an outlandish or espe-
cially offbeat way.
Heavy Tag
This indicates the Chapter is heavier in tone than usual, dealing more explicitly
with real-life themes, oppression, danger, or trauma.
the beast of oz’da
EXCERPT FROM HEARTSWORD #
25
A
nd so our small party traveled, through the Oz’da Path past Erdogross
towards the Dark Forest Of Morgot, where I know Emperor Zot dwells in
a GettinG Started
his Skull-Hell of Mirdroj. Captain Redtooth led the way, and although the
Zwargotz blood on his sword sated his perpetual grumpiness, I could still hear him
muttering curses through his bushy black beard. I could feel my secret against my
chest. If only he knew that his spear-wielding ally against the Zwargotz was one of those
women for whom he has such disdain…The thought of this dreadful revelation was too
much for my feminine lungs to bear, so I distracted myself from such thoughts by
looking around at the mountains around me.
The mountains around me were rocky and blasted away, speckled with craters
and smoking with eerie mist. I could tell that none of this was safe—that blasted
bard had warned me the path was full of Kozi, faceclaimers, and all other kinds of
horrible creatures that sent shivers down my spine just to imagine…but also made
my spear hand giddy with potential violence.
From the caves of the mountains beady eyes watched our approach. I had no
doubt Vizgazi Spiders were spying on our every move. I could just imagine Emperor
Zot deep within his Skull-Hell, his long white beard curling around the Omnirion
Crystal (the source of his evil magic powers) seeing through those spidery eyes. That
wretched starving king, the man responsible for destroying my village and killing
my parents.
Suddenly, a roar from Captain Redtooth shook me out of my magicidal dol-
drums, as he drew his sword upon the gargantuan black beast that stood before us.
It resembled a crow with wings of midnight and wretched black talons upon the
onyx cliffs. Its eyes were cerulean, moments of soft human compassion in the sea
of stygian hate-feathers. The pirate captain drew forth his rapier and adjusted his
pirate’s cap.
“Avast, you horrible monster. We meet again!” The old warrior exclaimed. I went
to draw my spear but the captain stopped me. “Don’t come one step closer Algar, for
this beast poses the death of all men.” He muttered.
I froze, paralyzed with dread and aware that he still thought of me as his trav-
eling companion and knightly friend Algar The Bold, and not for my female secret,
hidden within my bosom.
“What a strange little man. Have we met?” The wretched inky creature smirked.
“Oh, now I remember. You’re so much more puny without your ship.”
The Captain’s face turned blue as the sea as he roared, “I have my ship, I just had
to step away from it for a moment!”
The obsidian monstrosity sneered. “Such foolish men! I grow tired of your
whining. I would devour you both within my maw were it not for who you are. For
are you not the warriors who slayed the skeletons of the Zwargotz Marsh?”
I nodded my head eagerly, thrilled at the chance to claim some well-earned
valor. I announced, “Indeed sir, we routed those fools and made a mockery of the
Zwargoti arrows!”
“I like you,” the creature tittered. “You are the exact sort of brave warriors that
I need, for you see, I was not always the fluffy feathery beast you see before you.
Once I was a noble dragon king, the ruler of my kind, with golden scales and a fiery
breath. Emperor Zot stole our hearts and transformed us into the Muldakai, his
army of wretched slobbering death-beasts. Only I escaped and retained my sanity,
tormented as I was by cruel visions of his evil desires. I need your help, for I do not
dare return to his Skull-Hell alone.”
I gasped, “He must have used the Omnirion Crystal!”
#
26
PlayinG Yazeba's bed & Breakfast a
PLAYING CHAPTERS
Once we’ve found a Chapter we like, we can give it a look-over to understand what it calls
for and how we can approach it.
the Story
Characters
Each Chapter stars a few specific Characters, whose presence kicks off or complicates the
story. As long as every Character named by the Chapter is represented, everyone else can
play whoever they wish (unless otherwise specified) and those choices will deeply shape
how the story plays out. Each Chapter makes a suggestion about who might be a good fit,
but it’s just that: a suggestion.
Introduction
Every Chapter opens with several paragraphs of prose that set the tone and open up the
Chapter. The Concierge reads these paragraphs out loud to start play for the Chapter.
Anyone playing Characters mentioned in the opening can read their Characters’ lines out
loud, if they’d like.
Chapter rules #
27
Sections
Tracks
Tracks can take all sorts of forms; they can be straight or round or
disguised as something else, but they’ll
always have a number of segments
waiting to be marked. The Section
in which a Track appears will
explain when to fill in its
segments, and what to do
when it fills all the way up.
Lists
Lists are checklists of items, activities, people or things that can be
found in various Sections throughout the Bed & Breakfast. The rules
will tell us what to do with them or what happens when we engage
with them, but frequently we’ll be checking them off, crossing them
out, or adding to the lists ourselves.
Roleplaying from a game book like Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast is just like the make-believe
games children play, but with more structure: some special rules, ways to keep track of
what’s going on, and set objectives.
If you’ve played a roleplaying game from a book before, you can probably skip ahead
to The Protocols For Safety on page 30. But if it’s been a long time since you’ve played
pretend, you might be feeling a little rusty, so let’s remind you of how it works!
HEY KID’S
3. AT ANY TIME, THERE
4. GRUB
ADVICE CORNER
by Hey Kid
ABOUT PLAYING
There’s no wrong way to have fun playing a
game. Don’t worry if some piece of paper
somewhere disagrees with you. Don’t
worry if you feel like you don’t know what
you’re doing! I just make up the rules as I
go along, and if it’s a fun game it’ll still be fun.
ABOUT RULES
All rules are the same. Even the rules in this book are
just like bedtimes or calendars. You can just ignore
them if it makes you happy.
ABOUT HOME
The B&B is my home! I hope it can be your home too. When you’re
home, you deserve to feel safe. No one can make you do something
you don’t want to do. Even if a nasty grownup tries to make you take a
bath, you can just leave!
ABOUT TAKE-BACKSIES
If you have an idea and then realize later that you don’t like it, you
can always do take-backsies. If someone says something you don’t
like, you can ask them to do a take-backsie also!
ABOUT BUMPS
AND BRUISES
Sometimes when I’m playing a really
fun game I like to scream and wail and
bang around. But if I actually get hurt,
then the game stops. If I seem grumpy or
sad, I might be actually angry, but maybe
I’m playing pretend! Either way, it’s nice
when people check in to see if I’m still
having fun. Even if I’m okay, it’s
good to know they care.
ABOUT COOTIES
Lots of things have cooties. Sometimes
I know why something makes me
uncomfortable, but sometimes I don’t. If I don’t want to be around
something, I tell my friends and they help keep it away from me.
I don’t have to explain why I don’t like it.
Housekeep3g
JOURNEYS
Almost everyone has a Journey, from little kids to ancient witches. Journeys represent the
path a Character is going down, their goals, and where they hope to someday find them-
selves. A Journey can be about dramatic self-reflection, an exciting new project, or just a
series of little moments that string together into growth.
If your Journey has a checklist, check off items as you accomplish or acquire them, and
double-check whether you made progress on them after a Chapter.
Journeys tell you what to do once you complete them. They might give some sort of gift
to the Bed & Breakfast, create new Bingos or Whoopsies for the Character, or add a little
emotional moment the next time they’re played.
Once a Journey’s all wrapped up, it’ll tell you how to replace it. When that happens, just
find the relevant Journey-shaped sticker and paste it onto the Character Sheet, right over
the old Journey.
If we don’t have the right sticker—maybe we don’t own it, or we lost it somehow, or we
never had it to begin with—we can go to the List of Journeys starting on pg. 450 and copy
down the information, taping it over the old Journey on the Sheet.
Leftovers
At the end of each Chapter, we'll have a bunch of materials leftover. These might include
cards, coins, tokens, dollars, or other piles of game mechanics that don't have anywhere else
to go. These become Leftovers, and we can hide them away in our Journeys and use them
to mark off progress. This might be in the form of ticking Tracks, but sometimes we'll use
them for other purposes, like drawing pictures or filling in shapes, as your Journey directs
you. If your Journey doesn't have any use for Leftovers, you can spend them on Loose &
Unsorted Tracks (pg. 146).
Spare Journeys
Once in a while, we might need a Journey that anyone can go on. Maybe we’re making
our own Guest who doesn’t have their own Journey yet, or a Guest is returning and needs
something new to do, or there’s a Resident who has finished up all their personal Journeys.
When that happens, we can turn to the Spare Journeys on pg. 450.
A Spare Journey might involve inventing a weird machine, writing letters to a penpal, #
tending to the garden, learning fire magic, adopting a giant caterpillar, or any number 33
of other strange activities. When a Spare Journey is finished, it is followed up by
a HouSekeeping
another Spare Journey.
There might be other Journeys, outside of this book. Maybe you and your friends want
to write some Journeys together, or you find some more Journeys in another book. When
that happens, those Journeys will work perfectly here.
What’s Next?
Hey Kid started as Mr. Boggs cleared his throat, and their kite dropped out of the air.
(This was okay, because the kite wasn’t flying as well as they’d hoped anyway, and they
were starting to get frustrated by it.)
The salaryman sat at the patio table, surrounded by soggy papers. The downpour
that followed him everywhere slowed to a drizzle as he capped an expensive fountain
pen with a sense of finality.
“That’s it,” said Mr. Boggs.
“That’s what?” Hey Kid asked, dragging their kite back across the lawn by its string.
“The whole report,” said Mr. Boggs. “Eleven years of financials, bank statements, and
back taxes, checkbooks squared away…graphs and charts and reviews to guide this
place forward. What a productive way to spend the week.”
Hey Kid only dimly comprehended the kind of work Mr. Boggs did, so they asked,
“What are you going to do now?”
He slumped a bit at the question. His tie felt tight for some reason. He loosened it. He
could feel the child’s gaze was on him, and he peered through his raincloud to return it.
“I think I might like a try at getting that thing of yours up in the air.”
keepsakes
Chapters often have us create notecards, diary pages, and other documents. When the
Chapter concludes, we either discard them or turn them into Keepsakes by paperclipping
them to a Character’s Sheet.
After a Chapter, especially if we’re done playing for now, we can always choose to jot
down a note about something that feels important—if Parish had a fight with Sal and is
still mad, for example—and turn it into a Keepsake. That way, the next time someone plays
that character, they can decide if they want to use it as a suggestion.
During Housekeeping, we can go through the Keepsakes attached to a character and
decide if they’re still important. If a Keepsake becomes irrelevant to how a Character has
been played for a while, we can detach it from the Character Sheet and put it somewhere
safe for posterity.
#
34
LONG-TERM DEVELOPMENTS
Shelves
HouSekeeping a
A Shelf is an empty space that can hold Mementos we receive from our adventures. Any
time we fill a row of a Shelf with Mementos, we’ll follow the directions associated with it,
often Unlocking new Characters and Chapters to play.
Some shelves belong to a Character, or are otherwise connected to them, and filling out
that shelf might change that Character’s Sheet. Other shelves are located in the common
spaces of the Bed & Breakfast, and might Unlock new Guests, Chapters, or even other
Shelves. In addition to being actual shelves on the walls of the Bed & Breakfast, you can find
a list of Shelves starting on pg. 150.
Agate
Aventurine
Nestled deep within the cool of an
uncharted cave, the likes of which is spacious
enough to house their enormous form comfortably, Agate Aventurine has come
to a firm decision. After a short amount of time spent pondering, or a lifetime
depending on who you asked, Agate realizes that they are indeed ready for a
change. Their damp stone home has been of great comfort to them but there is
something they have begun to miss dearly, a sensation nearly impossible to come
by in such a secluded oasis… sunlight.
Moving all at once will come with time, and more contemplation. For now, Agate
is content enough to will only their tail into motion. At first it twitches with the
forgotten sensation of movement, then unfurls itself, and finally begins to rise
in search of the exit. Eventually, after snaking through pillars and collections of
rainwater with glacial speed, the lip of the cave is found. Agate stretches just a
quarter of their tail towards the sun, the wind catching on tuffs of exposed fur.
The change of humidity and warmth is felt by the troll minutes after the initial
exposure, and several beats later, Agate finally smiles. The majority of their body
still remains laying dormant, far back in the cavern, but the reward of such a
journey can already be felt.
Mementos #
35
Mementos are little trophies, and reminders from our adventures together. They can look
a HouSekeeping
like anything—a jar of fireflies, a raven’s feather, or even a carrot. Mementos are represent-
ed by small stickers you can put in the Bed & Breakfast Rulebook (or the accompanying
Ledger, if you have one). When you get a Memento, the Chapter or Journey that gave it to
you will tell you which kind of sticker to use.
As an example, go grab a Little Flower from wherever you’re keeping your Mementos.
You can put it on a Shelf immediately.
The most common ways to acquire Mementos are by playing Chapters or by completing
a Character’s Journey. Whenever a Chapter comes to a close, we’ll check to see if we earned
any from the Chapter or our Journeys. Then we’ll pop them onto a Shelf, wherever that
might be.
Clutter
Because we can replay our favorite Chapters as many times as we like, eventually our
supply of a Memento might run out: for example, perhaps The Rabbits Who Live In The
Garden And Wear Little Outfits have been very busy and you’ve run out of carrots. If
that happens, we can either substitute another square Memento we think the rabbits might
have given us, or we can hand-draw a little carrot into the Nook instead.
If we play Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast for a very long time, we may eventually run out
of Nooks to put Mementos into. In that case, we can devise our own Shelves with new
Nooks…or we can simply use them to decorate the pages of this book.
Locked Materials
Whenever a Character, Chapter or Shelf is Locked, it’ll have one or more Lock
Tags next to its name or title. If something is Locked, we’re not ready to play with
it yet, and we should ignore it until we find a way to Unlock it. We can peek at parts
of the book that are Locked, if we’d like, or we can try to keep them a surprise.
Anything that doesn’t have a Lock next to its name or title is available to be
played with from the beginning.
# Unlocking New Materials
36
The most common way to Unlock new materials to play with is by filling up Shelves with
HouSekeeping a
Mementos, but some Characters and Chapters might only be Unlocked under special cir-
cumstances. When the book tells us to Unlock something, we’ll select a Key sticker and
place it over the Lock tag.
If all of the Lock symbols next to something’s name or title have been covered by Key
stickers, it’s available for play.
Un-Unlocking Things
Once something is Unlocked, it’ll usually stay Unlocked forever…but not always. If we ever
need to Lock something back up, we can just draw a brand new Lock tag on it—and then,
if we Unlock it again, we can put a new Key sticker on it, and so on!
Tips W Tricks
Letting go of Canon
When exploring a story with other people, and especially when there have been multiple
tellings, there’s a natural urge to ask, “What did the authors intend? What do we as an
audience all agree on? Where does each event fall on the timeline? What is the realest, truest
version of this story?”
Because Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast exists in our collective imaginations, these ques-
tions are unanswerable. There can be no definitive canon, and every version has its own
reality and truth. We can only focus on the story as we’re telling it right now, and celebrate
its messiness.
Chapter Order
One of the first things you’ll notice about Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast is that the Chapters
are not listed in numerical order; some are missing entirely, and there may even be a few
lurking between the pages which don’t belong.
When we were little, we were taught that a story is a sequence of events with a begin-
ning, middle and end. But that’s not how all stories work: some loop around on themselves,
some are told out of sequence, and some never end.
After we play one Chapter, we can play another without worrying too much about
whether it came before or after the Chapter we just played, or how much time has passed.
Likewise, we can replay the same Chapter again and again without worrying about what
happened the last time, or which playthrough was the “real” playthrough. They’re all real.
# Think back on that prolific paperback series you may have once read: you might have
38 missed a few issues, or read them out of order, but you were always able to figure out what
was going on. And if you reread them now, they might be a little different than you remem-
tips & tricks a
Cheating
This book is written with a natural progression in mind, where the Chapters available to
play at the outset are good introductions to the Bed & Breakfast and its inhabitants, and
the Chapters that take the longest to Unlock are the ones that want us to be intimately
familiar with the cast, and which feature the fiddliest rules. (They may also feel ending-ish,
although this game has no true ending).
Knowing that: we can break whatever rules we like. If we’ve played all of the available
Chapters and don’t want to replay any of them, we can award ourselves Mementos to
Unlock some new ones. If we don’t like how a Chapter ends according to the rules, we can
agree on something else. The most important consideration when cheating is whether the
change we make feels true.
The rules are suggestions for how we can play, not an authority on how we must play.
keep Out!
“What’s in there?” Gertrude asked, pointing to an ominous black door at the end of the
hall, emblazoned with the words ENTRY FORBIDDEN UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
Amelie paused, their custodial cart squeaking to a stop, as they contemplated
the door. Gertrude grabbed a chocolate mint from the box next to the Spray-Cleen
and slipped it under her mask.
“Unknown,” Amelie replied, though their voicebox stretched out the word. Still,
they turned and resumed pushing the cart, but Gertrude didn’t budge as it bumped
lightly into her hip.
“Why don’t we take a peek?” Gertrude asked. “Aren’t you curious?”
Amelie’s insides hummed. “Access is denied. Please identify the
engraved command.”
Gertrude bobbed impishly, creeping towards the door. “Yeah…under any
circumstances. I’m not under any circumstances, are you?”
Amelie knew that Gertrude’s interpretation of the phrase was against the spirit of
the rules. But they also knew that, whatever was back there, it hadn’t been dusted
since they’d arrived at the Bed & Breakfast—or maybe ever.
“…No. No circumstances detected.”
The door opened with a decadent creak, and the pair stole inside. What was
behind the door was not important to the story; but the looking, itself, was significant.
interpreting Characters #
39
When we imagine Gertrude or Sal or Hey Kid, they’ve been imagined before, differently,
facilitator
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast is a cozy place, but it can look intimidating from the outside. As
a facilitator, your job is to help new players understand what they’re signing up for, and to
help experienced players relax into the experience.
Give the rules a quick skim before anyone gets to the table, so that even if you don’t know
where everything is, you’ll have a sense of where to find it. Don’t worry about knowing abso-
lutely everything, because in a place like Yazeba’s, chasing total knowledge is a fool’s errand.
If someone asks you a question you can’t answer, you can always just make something up.
As a facilitator, you’ll also be handling real-world needs. This includes the materials
you’ll need to play the game, but also things like comfort, snacks, and wellness. Both before
and during the game, check up on everyone (including yourself ) to make sure you’re all
drinking enough water and using the bathroom. People can be forgetful!
# During each chapter, keep an eye on everyone’s energy levels and make sure everyone has
40 the chance to speak. If someone is quiet, reach out to see if they’re enjoying being quiet or
if they’re bored or upset.
tips & tricks a
Making A Ledger
Throughout playing Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, you’ll often be taking notes, placing stickers,
and adjusting the Bed & Breakfast itself. If you feel okay placing that directly into the book,
you can just go ahead and do that—the book is designed for it. However, there are plenty of
reasons why you as the Concierge might not want to put stickers directly inside your book,
and if you want to avoid getting sticker gunk all over your pristine copy of Yazeba’s Bed &
Breakfast, you can always use a Ledger.
The Ledger is a stack of papers, binder or book that you keep separate from your copy
of Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, that can contain Character Sheets when they’re not in play,
Shelves, notes on what’s been unlocked, loose papers, or anything else you want to hold
onto with the game.
A Ledger can take on any number of forms. You can purchase a Ledger at your local
corner store or on the world wide web, or you can create your own with a three-ring binder
or a manilla folder. You can even use a stack of loose papers if you want, although be
careful—it’ll be easy to misplace things in there.
Narrator
During any particular Chapter, you’ll pick a Character to play, just like everyone else.
But sometimes there will be a pause—a place begs for description, someone wants to
speak to a Character no one is playing, or there is a moment of uncertainty and no one knows
how to proceed. The table will hesitate, and all eyes will turn…to you! As the Concierge,
now is your time to hop in as a narrator and describe what happens next.
As the narrator, you’re also in charge of handling the opening fiction at the start of each #
Chapter. You can read that yourself, pass it around round-robin style, or have folks read 41
their Character’s lines. This opening fiction sets the tone for the Chapter and opens the
A Disagreement
The Concierge finished folding the last towel, and gestured to the group. “And
that is the story of how Hey Kid saved the Rabbits That Live In The Garden
(Who Wear Little Outfits). Before we go, I’d like for us to peek in on Parish.
Parish’s room is a frightful mess, covered in clothing and ripped-apart recipe
books. In it —”
“Wait just a moment!” Parish leapt to his feet, croaking with indignation. “I
keep my room exact and tidy! And how could you not mention my beautiful pool
of water lilies?”
The Concierge nodded with a smile. “As you say, Parish.”
#
42
bookkeeper
The final role of the Concierge is physically organizing the game. After each Chapter,
tips & tricks a
some game materials will be discarded, some will return to where they came from, and
stickers may need to find new homes. Your supervision will help things go smoothly,
and you’re a good judge of what should get discarded and what should find a permanent
home in your copy of Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast.
When a Chapter ends, follow any rules described by its conclusion first. Then, each
player should check their Character’s Journey and decide how to use any Leftovers they’ve
collected. Finally, if any Mementos you’ve placed on Shelves or any Tracks you’ve filled up
would cause something to happen, follow those rules last. (Don’t sweat it, though; if your
group does these out of order, the important thing is really just not to forget anything in
the chaos.)
+ The Bed and Breakfast will likely receive one or more Mementos from the
Chapter, which need to be placed on Shelves (starting on pg. 150).
+ Leftover tokens, omen cards, and coins will often be used to fill in tracks, either in
the Characters’ Journeys or among the Loose & Unsorted Tracks starting
on pg. 146.
+ You may Unlock new Guests or Chapters, and need to mark them as such.
+ The players may have created Keepsakes—note cards, spare pages, or something
similar—that should stay secured with the Character they were playing using a
paper clip or a staple.
When the other players are finished playing Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast for a while, take some
additional time to tidy up sheets, paperclip everything together, and pack it all up. Make
sure everything is organized in a way that makes sense to you and you can easily find it
again. You’ll need it all the next time you come back to the Bed & Breakfast.
Splitting up responsibilities
Some Concierges don’t feel comfortable fulfilling all of these roles, and that’s okay! While
the Concierge is entrusted with each of these roles because they’re the person most likely
to have the book, it’s easy to split up Concierge duties within a group. Perhaps one person
can help explain the Bed & Breakfast to new players, while another person can keep track
of Shelves and Journeys. No two Concierges are going to take care of their Bed & Breakfast
in exactly the same way, and that’s a good thing.
#
44
OTHER WAYS TO PLAY
big parties
tips & tricks a
Sometimes a whole bunch of us all want to play Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, all at once!
When that happens, it might be hard to fit everyone into a single Chapter and share the
spotlight like we would normally. When that’s the case, we can play multiple Chapters at
once and tie them together, or take a Chapter and expand it to have way more room for
everyone to play.
writing Stories
We don’t always have other people to play Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast with, but we can still
tell stories of our own. Writing stories about the Bed & Breakfast is itself a way to play, and
sharing fiction about your favorite Characters can give you the same feeling as playing a
Chapter with them.
itself well to individual emotional arcs, introspection, and wistful feelings, and allows for
each Character to take up a little more of the spotlight than usual.
Online play
We might not always be able to meet up in person to play
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast together. When that’s the case, we can hop
onto the Internet and hang out with our friends there! In order to play through the World
Wide Web, we’ll need a digital copy of Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast so everyone can refer to
the same pages. Our friends at One More Multiverse have created a special digital environ-
ment that can keep track of every chapter and all the stickers.
Residents
Gertrude
#
50
ReSidentS a
a ReSidentS
+
+ I’m anxious all the time.
+ I don’t have a lot of friends.
+ I live on top of the dryer in the laundry room.
+ I feel terribly insecure about my gender and appearance…
+ …so I wear a mask to hide my face.
+ I’m confident Yazeba doesn’t like me.
+ I plan on finding somewhere else to stay eventually.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Keep a secret (that I should keep). U Keep a secret (that I shouldn’t keep).
! Show off a cool skill that people didn’t U Reject the help of someone else.
know I have. U Take on more than I can carry.
! Give a very genuinely sweet compliment. U Mess up something I thought I
! Make myself useful. could handle.
! Make a place for myself. U Assume the worst of what’s going on.
The Bed & Breakfast is strange & loud, and I don’t really have a place here. But maybe it’s
a safe place to crash for a while? I’ll try to be helpful and keep a low profile so they don’t
kick me out. Check these off as they happen:
FINDING MY PLACE
a ReSidentS
+ I like to try lots of new things. It’s sad when grown ups are scared of looking silly.
+ My favorite superhero is Neutron Gal! I can talk about her for hours.
+ Filling these out is really boring so maybe you can do the rest of them for me
whenever you think of something? Thanks!
+
+
+
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Watch, learn, and copy! U Get impatient and give up.
! Apply a lesson someone else has U Embarrass someone with an
taught me! innocent question.
! Run somewhere and get there first! U Mistrust a grownup who is trying to help.
! Turn it upside down! U Interrupt someone to show them
! Make a new friend! something I think is really cool.
U Have an enormous, explosive meltdown.
I’m working on a comic! I like to draw more panels when I’m bored.
MY STATS
a ReSidentS
+ I did used to be a witch’s apprentice. I don’t really want to talk about that.
+ I drive a van called The Flying V. She’s old and funky but she’s the love of my life.
+ I’m probably the greatest rockstar the world has ever known? I’m just putting in my
dues until I get my big break.
+ I play guitar and sing, but I also know my way around electric basses, violins, pianos,
the harmonica, the tambourine, and the jug.
+ My main musical inspirations are Jacob and the Screamie Beanies, ZGG, Dåligstygg,
Wormstonk, and Vivaldi.
+ My actual inspirations, though, are my friends back home, and how beautiful the place
I live is. They’re like my family to me.
+ I like to think of my music as being Post-Rock Prog 1st Wave Acoustic Ska moon
funk Dark indiepop synth-based corewave Soft Metal bad beach muzak ?????
+ The main thing I want my fans to know is that there’s art in all of us. It doesn’t matter
what you look like or how talented you are or if you know the right bands or whatever.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Laugh about it. U Fail to follow through.
! Take my time and get it right. U Get caught up in my own drama.
! Support someone creatively. U Make light of something important.
! Speak from the heart and light up U Fake confidence. -milk
the world. U Coast on by. -cheese
! Do it again, but louder. Po or bo y at a rich girl’s school, -peppies n onion
now something something my
own rule -kid snax (NO CAFFEINE)
SONG LYRICS:
These are some ideas I’m working on for an album! Help me cross them out, write
new ones, and edit what’s already here. Witch’s kid wasn’t good enough,
l
Never be a dad always too bitter and coo D Bm G A F# glitches live never far enough
Never be a man Never had a plan, Always running, something home left, ???
always improvise
synonymous, unfit comparison, never fitting in,
a ReSidentS
- Preheat 1 brave young fellow until gallant &
knightly. - 7 whole virtues, trimmed & peeled
- Braise lightly over dragonfire. - 12oz tenderloin steak
- Introduce 1 princess, cursed to be a frog, and - ¼ cup courtly manners
kiss. - 2 tbsp. salt & vinegar
- Form the knight into a frog, trading out the
princess.
- Banish. Recipe for a Good Frog:
- Serve slightly disillusioned, with spite to taste. Getting stale, needs a new approach
Feeds as many as there are guests at Yazeba’s Bed & - A pinch of excitement
Breakfast. - ½ cup jumping ability
- 1 croaked onion
Recipe for a Good Chef: - 2 cups pond water (salted to taste)
(Under development)
- 1 cup chopped obsession I’m always looking for new recipes,
- 1 tsp. concentrated love for others so whenever you find an especially tasty one,
- A drizzle of emotional awareness
add it to my sheet.
- Arrogance to taste
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Bluster headfirst into the best solution. U Bluster headfirst into a terrible mistake.
! Rescue someone else from peril. U Try to be “hip” and mess up in
! Carry out a noble act with dignity the process.
and poise. U Bite off more than I can chew.
! Lift everyone’s spirits with the U Lose track of reality while caught up in a
perfect refreshments. flight of fancy.
! Give a bit of fatherly wisdom. U Refuse to let go.
TIRED OLD FROG
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Look closely at a complicated tangle. U Refuse to diverge from my programming.
! Make someone’s life easier without U Misunderstand ambiguity and nuance.
them realizing. U Sweep up something that needed to
! Anticipate and avert a potential mess. stay put.
! Download a new skill via floppy disk. U Get passive-aggressive about it.
! Process a feeling not in your index. U Shut down and deactivate.
PRIME DIRECTIVES
a ReSidentS
+ Before she sold her heart, she wrote a couple of books about the magic of names.
(“Neither of them particularly good—stop asking to see them!”)
+ She’s always busy with “witchy business”—although she doesn’t seem to work much
actual magic. (“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”)
+ She has a funny way of cursing, like, she always says “Foes afire!” or “Friends afire!” or
something else that starts with F. (“It’s a curse. It’s not supposed to be funny.”)
+ Her preferred vices are expensive cigars, cheap cigarettes, and dusklit rides through the
sky on her enchanted bicycle. (“That’s how I distract myself from you numbskulls.”)
+ Deep down, she really cares. (“Incorrect.”)
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Use wisdom (instead of magic) to solve U Use magic (instead of wisdom) to make
a problem. everything worse.
! See something no one else could. U Boss everyone else around.
! Protect the Bed & Breakfast and those U Stay cryptic and secretive about
under its roof. something that matters to everyone.
! Show kindness…of a sort. U Delight in pushing everyone else away.
! Share just a smidgen of magical wisdom. U Criticize someone (and call it “helping.”)
LIST OF ENEMIES:
Expand and cross off this list:
+ The Starving King +
+ The Mayor of Veilridge +
+ Cacodaemon +
+ The Tomtom +
+ Tony +
+ Rag-And-Bones +
+ +
real stinker. Check these off whenever you’re mean to one of those people.
O Gertrude O Parish (me) O Someone who can take it
O Sal O A guest who deserves it O Someone who can’t
O The Moon Prince O A guest who doesn’t O Yourself
If you start a chapter and all the boxes are checked off, you will lash out at
everyone around you. Use your Whoopsies often, and weigh your Bingos
down with heartless spite. When the chapter ends, replace this journey with
“You Okay In There?”
#
63
Starting
Guests
#
64
Mr. Boggs
staRting GueStS a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Invest in a risky venture. U Explain a logistical complexity.
! Encourage an entrepreneurial spirit. U Crunch the numbers.
! Loosen my tie and have some fun. U Undercut the competition.
! Shelter another with my umbrella. U Rain on someone’s parade.
MY JOURNEY
a staRting GueStS
uses they/them pronouns
PICK ME IF: There’s a curiosity to
appraise, everyone is being too
gullible, I have just the thing to help.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Give cynical advice as a ‘free tip.’ U Offer up a bad deal.
! Reveal a scandalous secret. U Twist words around until I find a reason
! Transform straw into gold, pinch a to be insulted.
moment in between my fingers, walk U Come dangerously close to breaking one
atop a sunbeam, or perform a similar of Yazeba’s rules.
sort of fairy miracle. U Let my smile slip, and show my
! Offer up a good deal. true nature.
I’ll erase my track and remain. But if they say yes, and I
buy a Resident’s heart, I’ll have that Resident sign the
Heartless Contract (pg. 460), give them a new Bingo
and Whoopsie related to their desire, and leave the
Bed & Breakfast.
#
66
Niviana
staRting GueStS a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Quietly make things easier. U Hide behind my hair.
! Listen to what’s going on and learn. U Dredge up something best forgotten.
! Offer someone a sword, wand, or other U Confuse “above” and “below” water.
key to their destiny. U Get caught up in indecision.
! Speak up and tell everyone what I need.
a staRting GueStS
An enormous, apologetic
“Percy”
lava elemental who uses he/
him or they/them pronouns
Combustion PICK ME IF: You need a handyman,
it would be a shame for someone to
tromp all over a delicate situation, you
want to bring warmth and kindness.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Produce a little gem. U Start a fire without meaning to.
! Fill someone’s heart with warmth. U Embarrass myself with my clumsiness.
! Accomplish a menial task with gusto. U Apologize for something that’s not my
! Stand up for myself and speak my mind. fault.
U Laugh off my own needs.
Whenever my Track fills up, I’ll erase it all and check off a checkbox
below.
O Reconsider my pronouns
MY JOURNEY
Little Outfits
and warm, you need a group of
voices, you’re out in the garden.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Give a gift of snacks and vegetables. U Bicker and argue amongst ourselves.
! Offer some rabbity wisdom (or a rabbity U Deliver contradicting advice.
joke). U Run away when we’re needed.
! Twitch our little noses. U Get distracted.
! Wander out into the world.
JOURNEY
a staRting GueStS
Rag-And-Bones
A particularly unpleasant skeleton
who uses he/him pronouns
PICK ME IF: Things are too idyllic,
something scarier than me is afoot,
Yazeba is distracted and careless.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Run off with something I’m not U Approach with a flimsy disguise.
supposed to have. U Reveal my entire plan.
! Explain how it’s all going according to U Be temporarily defeated.
my plan. U Be helpful for real, but by accident.
! Cap off a conversation with a sinister
laugh.
! Be helpful, but in the service of a
nefarious plot.
"Sherry” du Sang
aristocrat who uses
she/her pronouns
PICK ME IF: You need a curmudgeon
to bounce off of, everyone needs a
reminder about the good old days, the
chapter is set indoors or it’s dark out.
Once my track fills up, I’ll see if I have any friends left
MY JOURNEY
Oleander
a staRting GueStS
uses she/her pronouns
PICK ME IF: A motherly hand is needed,
someone gets a chance to spill the tea, I
can sit down and stretch my legs a bit.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Help someone else evade consequences. U Spread libel or overexaggerated gossip.
! Piece together what’s really going on. U Misunderstand the stakes of the
! Absolutely refuse to act my age. situation.
! Pour a cup of soothing tea. U Rest my old roots and not get up.
U Make a joke about something you
thought I didn’t know about.
Early
Chapters
Another Rainy Day5
#
74
CHAPTER
z Gertrude, Hey Kid p anyone
too playful to be cooped up
a staRting chaPteRS
G
ertrude didn’t bring a lot with her to the Bed & Breakfast. In fact, the only
thing she kept close by her was her diary, an ancient and tattered notebook
full of bubbly handwriting across gridded paper. She was lost in thought, lis-
tening to the rain, and doing her best to ignore the morning bustle.
Ponk! A red rubber ball bounced off of the door of the washing machine where
Gertrude was sitting, and her hand zagged a long trail of ink across an important list
she’d been outlining.
“Hey you! Ready to play Demon Ball?!” Hey Kid yelled, swinging a walking cane
through the air fast enough to make it whistle.
Gertrude looked up from her diary and squinted through the eyeholes of her
mask. The dull roar of splashy-crashy rain on the roof filled every corner of the Bed
and Breakfast, as it had for days and days and days.
Gertrude fidgeted with her pen. “What, outside? We’ll get soaked if we go
out there.”
“But it’s been raining foreEeEeEever!” Hey Kid snarled. “If I can’t go outside soon
I’m gonna explode!”
Something about the way they said it—eyes flashing red—made it sound like a
credible threat. Gertrude looked around for an actual grownup, but they all seemed
to be busy, and there was no way she was going to bother them…but, as she glanced
back at Hey Kid, smoke was starting to pour out of their ears as they repeatedly
thumped the cane on the floor.
Gertrude said, “Maybe we can find something…else…to keep you occupied?”
#
76
RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
staRting chaPteRS a
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
INSIDE GAMES
When anyone but Hey Kid does a Bingo, right afterwards they can suggest and set up an
indoor activity to burn off some of Hey Kid’s energy. Check it off, below, and Hey Kid gets
a token.
O A Scavenger Hunt O Double-Dog Dares
O A Pushup Contest O Slide Down The Stairs
O The Floor Is Lava O Jump Over A Stick
O Ten-pin Bowling Down O Build A Pillow Fortress
The Hallway O Just Wrestle
O A Crab-Walking Race O Make Up A Game Just For Hey Kid
Once this list is exhausted, you can check off this last one any number of times:
O Ask Hey Kid what they want to do.
HEY KID’S GONNA EXPLODE! #
77
Hey Kid starts with 6 tokens. The more tokens they have, the more fun they’re having, and
a staRting chaPteRS
the less likely they are to explode. Hey Kid has to give up a token whenever someone tells
them to be calm, wait, or listen up. Hey Kid has some extra Whoopsies they can do right
now:
U Burst into flame and catch something on fire.
U Break something with supernatural strength.
U Get very big and scary for a moment.
If Hey Kid runs out of tokens, they explode. They immediately get 8 tokens, mark a Track
on their Journey, and describe the devastation to the Bed & Breakfast.
In which the laundry room has become a disaster, and Sal must
lead the charge to fix it (with Gertrude’s reluctant help).
#
79
a staRting chaPteRS
O
ne of Amelie’s arms had fallen off. This was less of a problem for Amelie than
it would have been for most of the B&B’s residents, but the local repair
shop was waiting on a part to arrive from out of town, and they had fallen
behind on some of the housework. Footprints mottled the floor, turning it the rich
brown color of early spring mud.
Gertrude was curled up with a book underneath the fax machine, trying not to
eavesdrop too obviously on Sal’s phone call. She didn’t want to be in the lobby, but
the smell of sweaty clothes and damp linens had filled the B&B, and the calming
scent of printer ink clinging to the clunky device was the only thing that could crowd
out the more pungent odors.
Sal put down the phone with a heavy thud, and Gertrude looked over at him.
“What’s wrong?”
“Yazeba says, with Amelie out of commission, I’ve gotta get all the laundry
done. Today.”
Gertrude looked appalled. “But Sal, there’s a mountain of clothes and sheets and
stuff in there! What about your concert?”
“I tried to bring that up, but she, uh, well…” Sal glanced down at the phone’s speak-
er, still glowing orange from heat, and scratched the back of his head. “I don’t think
she liked the sound of that.”
Gertrude stood and straightened out her back. It hurt a fair sight more than a
teenager’s probably ought to. Nobody knew the laundry room better than her; she’d
never been on laundry duty per se, but she’d tried to sleep through more than a few
wash cycles.
“Well, okay, maybe you can still make your concert if someone else pitches in?”
Sal’s eyes glinted with mischief—he recognized a chance for an aimless youth to
do some character-building labor, and if it meant he’d be less up to his armpits in
soiled linens, all the better.
“That’s so sweet of you, kid! Let’s get to work.”
Before Gertrude could stammer out a clarification, Sal had a guiding hand on her
back that turned into a gentle but insistent shove through the door. She looked out
across the horror of the vast sea of dirty bed sheets and stinky socks, and realized
that she had accidentally signed up for a very long afternoon.
#
80
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins.
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
TIDY CYCLES
a staRting chaPteRS
even pose an active danger. Everyone has access to the following additional Whoopsies:
U Stumble in the ankle-deep swamp of sheets, falling into it with anything you
were carrying.
U Disturb a precariously tall mountain of clothes, and be buried under an avalanche.
U Spill detergent all over the floor, creating a spreading puddle of blue goo.
U Become entangled in a knot of sleeves and pant legs.
U Notice the clanging and banging of something heavy that shouldn’t be in the
washer, just before it begins to jump and bounce around the laundry room.
YUCKY
Gertrude is brave, smart, hardy and adventurous. She is also easily overwhelmed. Whenever
an intense wave of smell penetrates her mask, an unidentified stain offends her eyes, or a
slimy texture passes through her hands, tick her Grossed Out track, below.
When the track fills up, Gertrude is too overwhelmed to function. She won’t go take a
break—Sal is depending on her—but she won’t be able to do a good job until she recovers.
She can’t cash in or give away her Chaos Coins until someone helps her out with a Bingo
and erases the track.
#
82
Firefly Catching 6
CHAPTER
z Sal, Hey Kid, p anyone optimistic
a staRting chaPteRS
I
t was a cool night, in that warm summer way. The sky was crowded with bril-
liant stars, perfectly mirroring the fireflies flickering among the trees. Sal was
sitting in one of the chairs on the back porch, looking out at the woods that
surround the Bed & Breakfast. His guitar was heavy in his hands, and he could feel
a song burning underneath his fingertips.
Someday, I’ll see the contrails for what they are …
I’ve named every light but one…
I just want to trace that line and know
He sighed. The song in his head was louder than any chords he could play, and
none of the words fit. He probably could’ve stayed on that porch forever, but the
screen door creaked open and Hey Kid wandered over, heralded by the clapping of
their flip flops.
“Hey Sal! Is everything okay?” Hey Kid held up a plate of spaghetti. “Parish wanted
me to bring you some dinner, since you missed it and all.”
Sal shrugged. “Thanks, Kid. Lots of stuff on my mind sometimes. I must’ve
been distracted.”
Hey Kid hopped up into another wicker chair, and looked up at Sal. In the light of
the lonely bulb hanging over the porch, Sal looked …older than he was, and sadder
too. Hey Kid glanced out at the dark woods, and the crisp air, and the stars. They
took a deep breath, and tapped on Sal’s guitar.
“Hey…do you wanna go firefly catching?”
#
84
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
staRting chaPteRS a
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks
for. These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a
Whoopsie, they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a Bingo
or giving it to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
GROWING UP
Hey Kid is starting to realize that they aren’t going to be able to be a kid forever. They’ve
realized the world is changing rapidly—that even while their home feels perfect, that the
outside world is dangerous and perhaps everyone they love aren’t heroes. Hey Kid chooses
one of the questions below, or invents their own:
+ “What is it going to be like to grow up?”
+ “Does being a grown up mean losing your passion for life?”
+ “Are my friends as good as they seem in my head?”
The Question starts with 9 tokens on it. Once all the tokens have been removed, we’ll each
go around and try to answer the question for ourselves, as best we can. We can choose
whether or not to end the Chapter and read A Night Like Tonight.
A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT #
85
Before the Chapter begins, write down the following Question on another index card:
a staRting chaPteRS
+ “What does it mean to change?”
Anyone may put one of their tokens on this Question whenever they want. We are proba-
bly not going to fully answer this question during this Chapter. Instead, when the Chapter
ends, everyone goes around and gives as much of an answer as they can, based on how many
tokens the question has.
+ Less Than 5 Tokens: Shrug, and maybe say something you think could be it, but is
probably wrong.
+ 5-8 Tokens: Give a 1 word answer, if you have one.
+ 9-12 Tokens: Give a 1 sentence answer, if you have one. The Bed & Breakfast gets
a Jar of Fireflies.
+ 13 or more Tokens: Give a full answer if you have one, write both the question
and your answer down on an index card and keep it with your character sheet. The
Bed & Breakfast gets a Jar of Fireflies.
Regardless, hold onto any Leftover tokens not on index cards for Housekeeping.
#
86
10
CHAPTER
The Breakfast Feast
z Parish, Hey Kid, p any early risers
a staRting chaPteRS
I
t’s been a long week, Parish thought to himself as he dragged himself out of
his shoebox bed.
He hadn’t seen Yazeba around much lately. He knew her well enough to know
that probably meant she was working day and night…presumably on some import-
ant witch-type business that was beyond his comprehension (or his interest, really).
Despite her sharp tongue and imposing shadow, the Bed & Breakfast was still some-
how glummer without her at the helm.
He groaned at the gloomy damp that clung to the windows as he hopped down-
stairs to the kitchen. The first rays of dawn were oozing through the kitchen like
maple syrup as he donned his apron, illuminating a child asleep at the table: Hey Kid.
They were curled up in the big chair, drooling onto a sprawling patchwork of scrap
paper, surrounded by countless hand-drawn crayon comic panels featuring, most-
ly, superheroes fighting elaborately-designed monsters. Parish lingered over one
panel, a super-knight with a sword and shield, and smiled to himself.
He was as quiet as a very small cook could be when preparing breakfast, but it
was the sound of the faucet running that eventually woke Hey Kid up.
“Guhmorning…” Hey Kid mumbled, pulling themself upright and pawing at the
drawing stuck to their face. “Whatcha making?”
“Not sure yet. Probably something simple.” Parish sounded tired. “No sense in
pouring your heart and soul into a meal on a day like today, when everyone will just
drag a plate away to their rooms and sulk.”
Hey Kid wiped sand from their eyes, and pondered their own grumbling tummy.
“Well I think you should make it a big breakfast. With the works! Everyone’s been so
cranky lately, maybe they all need a pick-me-up.”
Parish paused in his preparation, considering his own appetite. Maybe a huge
brunch could help.
“You might be onto something, Kid…but there’s hardly enough time with just
one chef…”
Hey Kid practically leaped into the air. “I can help! I can help! And I bet there’s
some people just waking up who could help too! Let’s do it, come on, Parish, let’s
make a feast!”
Parish picked up a wooden spoon and waved it in the air like a broadsword. “A
feast for the ages, then!”
#
88
RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
staRting chaPteRS a
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
a staRting chaPteRS
Parish is the undisputed monarch of the kitchen, and no one dares trifle in his domain. At
any time he may:
+ Flip open a recipe book and find something new. Add a new Foodstuff (and its
complexity) to an index card.
+ Realize a recipe isn’t working out properly. Remove the index card, and divide its
tokens amongst the other chefs.
He also has the following additional Whoopsies:
U Take over for someone else, but only make it worse.
U Crowd all the kitchen space.
A QUICK SNACK
It’s common practice among anyone in a kitchen to sneak a morsel away from time to time.
While a talented chef will know what ingredients are nonessential and how much batter it’s
okay to waste, amateur assistants may accidentally set the meal back with their snacking. At
any time, anyone (besides Parish) can steal a nibble—along with a token from a Foodstuff
card—but if someone spots them stealing, they have to put it back.
BREAKFAST IS SERVED
Once the Grand Brunch Track has filled all the way up, then the feast is ready. Everyone
piles their plates up with food and sits down for a delicious meal. Parish decides when the
Chapter ends, and the Bed & Breakfast gets a Pile of Plates. Hold onto any Leftover
tokens for Housekeeping.
CHAPTER 1/2
Ollie Ollie Oxenfree
z Gertrude p anyone who wants to play
g
In which folks play hide and seek in the Bed & Breakfast.
ertrude was alone. It was not an unfamiliar situation for her, but that didn’t
make it sting less. There was something frustrating about it this time, a
shame she wasn’t used to. A house full to the brim with incredible people,
with more rooms than she could keep track of, and here she was hiding in a closet.
Outside the door Gertrude could hear the distant drum of rain and the chatter of
guests as they went about their day. She stared at the gently swinging lightbulb as it
illuminated the racks of fur coats and moth-nibbled hat boxes. Part of her fantasized
about staying in there forever. No one would miss her, right?
Gertrude nearly jumped out of her skin as one of the hat boxes popped open, and
the night porter poked his head out. “Hey I didn’t know you were hiding in here too!”
Sal winked at her startled jump. “It’s a pretty good spot, right?”
Gertrude turned bright red behind her mask and tried to retreat even further into
the coats. “Yeah, it’s okay. I’ve had a lot of practice.”
Sal beamed. “You’re a natural. I didn’t even know you were playing.”
Gertrude blinked. “Playing?”
“Hide and seek, obviously!” A distant voice cried something indistinct, and Sal tilt-
ed his head. “Sounds like Parish gave up. Let’s get out of here before the next round
starts.”
“Wait, I hardly know how to get around the Bed & Breakfast—”
“Well, then, hide and seek is the best way to learn.” He paused for a moment on
his way out of his impromptu nest, and shot Gertrude a knowing smile. “C’mon, they
can’t restart the game without us.”
The hiding players can whisper to each other at any time. Hiding characters get an addi-
tional Bingo:
! Change where you’re hiding, and replace the letter you wrote down with a
different letter, marking a room you could feasibly get to without bumping into It.
And the following additional Whoopsie:
U Give It a clue about where you’re hiding.
YOU’RE IT
Whoever is It can yell out whatever they want, but should never expect a reply. They get the
following additional Bingo:
! Sneak quickly and quietly to any room in the Bed & Breakfast.
And the following additional Whoopsie:
U Move to a room next to the room you’re in, very loudly and awkwardly so everyone
else knows where you are and has a chance to react before you can guess.
Whenever It is in a room, they can yell “GOTCHA!” If there’s anyone else in the room, they
reveal themself, and become an additional It. Whoever got ‘em gets a token for each player
they reveal that way.
Missing Shadow
z Yazeba, Amelie, p anyone who has a sharp eye
a staRting chaPteRS
I
t was a blustery sort of day, with a wind that jeered and dove at anyone with
loose papers, but did nothing to move the dark and heavy clouds overhead.
Yazeba had been away for a while now, on “witchy business” —a phrase which
meant, “errands that Yazeba didn’t want to do, but had to.” Amelie loathed when
Yazeba went away, both because it meant some people would take it as an ex-
cuse to play loud music until very late at night, and that the witch would return in a
horrible mood.
And thus Amelie knew precisely what to expect when they heard Yazeba’s bicy-
cle touch down against the front porch. The front door slammed open without her
even touching it, and she strode into the Bed & Breakfast, a trail of battered leaves
swirling across the threshold with her as she wrestled with the wind-knots in her
hair. With one gesture her enormous fur coat perched itself on a rack. Her cigarette
disappeared in a puff of smoke with a snap of her fingers, leaving ash mingling with
the autumn leaves.
Unacceptable, Amelie thought to themself, analyzing the leaves. They turned to
grab their dustpan from the broom closet, but realized it was missing—the only
thing inside was an old wicker broom.
“Some people,” Yazeba groused to the empty foyer, “Just have no sense of per-
spective. They never see what or who is really important—I have no patience for it!”
Amelie passed her unnoticed and swish, swish, swish, brushed the leaves back
out the door. Swish, swish, SNAP!
The witch and the robot both froze and looked down at the broom, where they
saw Yazeba’s shadow caught up in the bristles and severed from its mistress. It
grinned back at them, wriggled free, and shot up the stairs. The wind shook the Bed
& Breakfast like a howl of laughter, and Amelie could hear a vase shatter at the top
of the hall.
“Flowers afire,” Yazeba whispered in the sudden quiet, her face very grim. “Did…
anyone see which way it went?”
#
92
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie and
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack, Queen, King,
or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an
Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red
Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
When someone reveals an Omen Card of the correct color, they’ll consult the Chapter’s
rules to find out what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card unless the rules say
otherwise. If the deck runs out of cards before they find an Omen of the right suit, there’s
a moment of uneasy quiet. Shuffle any unclaimed cards back into the deck.
a staRting chaPteRS
an Omen from the Hearts suit comes up, someone (anyone!) should grab a Guest that no
one’s playing yet, and have them tell the others what has them in a tizzy.
JACKHEARTS I answered a knock at my door, only to have it slammed in my face!
QUEENHEARTSThere’s something scary in my private bathroom.
KINGHEARTS It tried to push me down the stairs.
ACEHEARTS If this is the second Ace we’ve revealed in a row, there is an uneasy mo-
ment of quiet. Shuffle the Ace back into the deck. Otherwise, read from “A
Heartless Shadow.”
Anyone may calm or comfort a frightened guest by doing an appropriate Bingo (don’t
reveal from the deck). The Guest can go back to what they were doing or join the shadow
hunt, and either way whoever settled their nerves can collect the Hearts Omen.
A HEARTLESS SHADOW
Whenever we reveal an Ace, Yazeba’s shadow has snuck up on us! It’s slippery, and faster
than light, and will do mischief to us and escape. Everyone does a Whoopsie about it (but
doesn’t reveal more cards), then whoever revealed the Ace collects it.
Then, if we can collectively toss aside three Aces that we’ve collected, we can catch it.
Describe how we corner and trap it, and the Chapter ends when Yazeba decides what to
do with it.
When the Chapter ends, if there are more than 5 Bumps and Crashes that are checked
off, but not crossed out, give the Bed & Breakfast a Broken Vase. Otherwise, give the
Bed & Breakfast a Hammer. Hold on to any leftover Omen Cards we’ve collected
for Housekeeping.
#
94
a staRting chaPteRS
I
t was a beautiful Autumn morning outside the Bed & Breakfast. Gertrude had
the window cracked open to breathe in the crisp air (the last before it would
get too cold for open windows) and was rereading her favorite book. It was
called Heartsword, a schlocky fantasy adventure about a princess forced to dis-
guise herself as a man in order to defeat an evil emperor. If you asked Gertrude
about the book, she’d dismiss it as trashy garbage, but the dogeared pages and bent
spine suggested otherwise.
Parish was perched in one of the massive armchairs, lazily glancing through
the astrology section of the newspaper. “Hey Gertrude, what sign are you? For
the horoscopes.”
“Oh, I’m a Virgo. My birthday’s the 15th.” Gertrude replied, barely paying attention.
ments.
3 — S e p 2 2 a te u n fa m iliar environ Don’t
Aug 2 to navig change.
c u lt a n d n e r ve wracking y, and you just need a you go, and a
fi r
It can be dif the world is big and scao care for you wherever
e ti m e s p le w h you.
Som
a id . T h e re will be peo your heart. I believe in
be afr fro m
is never far
family ’s love
He stared down at the paper, before spotting the date in the corner. SEPTEMBER
15TH. As always. Of course. But…
Parish looked up and made sudden eye contact with Sal, before pulling the porter
into the hall and whispered, “Sal, it’s the 15th.”
Sal shrugged. “And? It’s always the 15th. What’s the big deal?”
“It’s Gertrude’s birthday.”
#
96
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
PRESENTS FOR
GERTRUDE
Everyone who’s not Gertrude gets a blank scrap of paper at
the start of the Chapter. Whenever they figure out what they
think Gertrude would want, they secretly write that down
and put it face-down on the table, then draw a 3-part track
on the other side of the card.
When they want to make progress on acquiring Gertrude’s
gift, they must consult their Chaos Coins. Once the track is
complete, the present is ready!
PARTY FOULS
Some additional Whoopsies that anyone but Gertrude can do:
U Panic about whether Gertrude already has the gift you’ve gotten.
U Second-guess yourself and come up with a way worse idea for a gift.
U Lie to Gertrude about her present.
U Get cake batter all over your party clothes.
U Accidentally put something you really shouldn’t’ve in the cake.
PARTY PREPARATIONS #
97
Use the Party Track to prepare for the party. Once it's filled, Gertrude's surprise birthday is
a staRting chaPteRS
ready to go! Start the party when the table is set and the decorations are prepared. No more
Chaos Coins can be flipped or conflicts solved.
Everyone who managed to acquire a
gift for Gertrude flips over their cards
and tells Gertrude what they got her. If
Gertrude genuinely likes the gift, both
she and the gift giver can each take
another Chaos Coin, and pin the gift
to Gertrude’s Character Sheet. If she
doesn’t like it, well, it’s up to her whether
she’s civil about it.
Gertrude decides when the Chapter ends. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Slice Of Cake.
Hold on to any leftover Chaos Coins you’ve collected for Housekeeping.
CHAPTER
Lights Out
z Parish p anyone courageous enough
14
a staRting chaPteRS
H
ail drummed staccato against the rooftop, filling the Bed & Breakfast
with a crushing static interrupted only by a peal of thunder and a flash
of lightning. Parish pulled his cardigan closer around his small shoulders
and brought a tray of melty chocolate chip cookies into the living room.
The room was packed with guests and residents, all piled together to stay warm.
The single radiator in the corner was clanking away on overtime, doing its best to be
even more disruptive than the gale slamming against the window. Parish stepped in
front of the wavering black-and-white television to hold up the plate.
“Behold, a feast!” He lowered the cookies onto the table and the assembled
guests descended on it. The air was filled with crunching and chomping, noisy over
the triumphant opening theme echoing through the tinny TV.
“Shut up shut up shut up it’s Neutron Gal time!” Hey Kid shoveled cookies into
their mouth while glued directly in front of the screen. Everyone went silent for one
moment, long enough for Hey Kid to scream their heroine’s catchphrase. The super-
hero’s laser sword flew up into the air and …
Zap.
The screen went black and the Bed & Breakfast was plunged into darkness. Hey
Kid screamed, but it was impossible to hear them over the house-shaking boom of
thunder. Brief panic was replaced by sudden calm as Parish quickly took control.
“Don’t worry, everyone! So the power went out. Let’s get some candles lit,” he
said. Amelie wheeled over to the kitchen while Sal got to work starting a fire in
the fireplace.
“I’m going to go downstairs and turn the generator on,” Parish declared. A slight
chill crept through the room.
“The…the generator? The one in the sub-basement?” Sal looked up, his face hid-
den in darkness. “Are you gonna be safe?”
Parish grabbed a broom, slid a knit beanie over his head, and pushed aside the big
“BASEMENT: STAFF ONLY” sign on the door. For a moment, a flash of faraway light-
ning illuminated the frog’s striking form, and anyone who saw him would’ve sworn he
was a knight.
“Don’t worry. There’s nothing to fear down there.”
#
100
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie and
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack, Queen, King,
or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an
Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red
Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
When someone reveals an Omen Card of the correct color, they’ll consult the Chapter’s
rules to find out what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card unless the rules say
otherwise. If the deck runs out of cards before they find an Omen of the right suit, there’s
a moment of uneasy quiet. Shuffle any unclaimed cards back into the deck.
a staRting chaPteRS
Omen Card from the Hearts suit, we find a little reminder that this place is ours:
JACKHEARTS A plastic bin full of dry goods Parish stocked up on before that last big blizzard.
There’s some yummy non-perishable snacks in here!
QUEENHEARTS A terrifying silhouette…that turns out to be a dress form with Yazeba’s old
wizard school robes and hat on it. Can you believe she used to wear anything
so…silly?
KINGHEARTS A cardboard box full of baby clothes that Hey Kid used to wear, topped with a
macaroni picture of the Bed & Breakfast.
ACEHEARTS If this is the second Ace we’ve revealed in a row, there is an uneasy moment of
quiet. Ignore the Ace and shuffle it back into the deck. Otherwise, read from
Get The Light Back.
Whoever collects a Hearts Omen feels a little more courageous while they have it.
Ice SkatingCHAPTER
z Parish, Amelie, p anyone slippery
16
In which the Bed & Breakfast goes ice skating, and Amelie
and Parish reflect on their relationships to their bodies.
#
103
a staRting chaPteRS
T
he pond had frozen over, and Yazeba had determined the ice to be thick
enough to safely stand on, so a crowd of folks from the Bed & Breakfast
bundled up to go skating. It was a beautiful day, the edges of blue sky
against the frosted grass crisp and clear. Faint sparkles of snow drifted in the air,
but despite what the thermometers said, the cold lacked teeth.
Everyone sat their butts down in the snow to swap their boots out for blad-
ed skates, but Amelie stood apart, stock still, condensation clouding up their
glowing eyes.
“Will you not be joining us?” asked a small, deep voice. Parish fiddled with the
scarf tied around his body. (He did not have a neck, and was beginning to suspect
that calling attention to that fact had not been the most flattering wardrobe choice).
The robot swiveled their gaze, first to look at Parish, then the others, then the
frozen pond. “This is outside the bounds of my operations manual, and will void
my warranty.”
“Nonsense, my noble friend,” Parish declared, gallantly extending them his hand.
Amelie had to extend their telescoping arm to reach it, which wiped his smile away,
but he reassured her, anyway: “If I can skate on these little rubber legs, then with
all of your mechanical precision you’ll be marvelous!”
The two glided out onto the ice together, slowly and carefully. Amelie listened
for the telltale sound of ice cracking beneath their metal weight, but it held them
just fine.
Hey Kid careened wildly past the pair on skates covered in stickers, shout-
ing “LOOK OUT!” and Parish flinched away, but Amelie held tight and he regained
his balance.
He gazed up at Amelie with steel in his watery eyes. “The most daunting challeng-
es are also the most satisfying to conquer.”
#
104
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
staRting chaPteRS a
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks for.
These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a
Whoopsie, they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a Bingo
or giving it to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
ALL BUNDLED UP
When the Chapter begins, everyone describes their winter attire, which might include:
+ Red Mittens + A Brightly-Colored Puffy Coat
+ Snow Pants + A Thick Flannel Shirt
+ Ear Muffs + Socks Double-Layered On Your
+ A Scarf Significantly Too Large For Hands
Your Body + Soaking Wet Jeans
+ A Knit Cap With A Ball On Top + Far Too Many Layers
+ A Fur-Lined Hat With Ear Flaps + Not Nearly Enough Layers
DANCING ON ICE
The first time you hit the ice, decide whether you feel Graceful or Helpless today.
If you’re feeling Graceful, you get the following Whoopsies:
U Show off in front of someone who’s struggling.
U Attempt a complicated trick, lose control, and become Helpless.
If you’re feeling Helpless, you can do the following Bingos:
! Get back up and try again.
! Go at your own pace until you get the hang of this, and become Graceful.
a staRting chaPteRS
know how to express it, but a question is buzzing up and down their body. Amelie chooses
one of the questions below, or invents their own:
+ “What am I supposed to be doing?”
+ “How do you break out of a rut?”
+ “Why is trying new things so hard?”
The question starts with 9 tokens on it. Once all the tokens have been removed, we’ll each
go around and try to answer the question for ourselves, as best we can. If we’d like, we can
end the Chapter by reading “Bodies In Motion,” below.
BODIES IN MOTION
Before the Chapter begins, write down the following Question on another index card:
+ “If we’re not who we expected to be, who are we?”
Anyone may put one of their tokens on this Question whenever they want. We are proba-
bly not going to fully answer this question during this Chapter. Instead, when the Chapter
ends, everyone goes around and gives as much of an answer as they can, based on how many
tokens the question has.
+ Less Than 5 Tokens: Shrug, and say something self-deprecating.
+ 5-8 Tokens: Give a general answer, one that’s not really about anyone out here on
the pond.
+ 9-12 Tokens: Answer compassionately, with someone else in mind.
+ 13 or more Tokens: Answer compassionately and confidently, and write the
question and your answer down on your character sheet.
The Bed & Breakfast gets a Winter Scarf. Hold on to any leftover tokens you’ve collected
for Housekeeping.
Amel-e 2900
Amelie’s Arrival
Sal was sitting at his desk, reading comics when he heard a yell. And it wasn’t the
healthy sort of yell that you sometimes hear from people going about their business.
“Feathers afire,” Yazeba snarled breathlessly, dragging an enormous package
in the front door. “Is it really…so…hard…to fetch a package to the front door these
days?”
And with a final harrumph and swooshing of her fur coat, the witch dropped the
tall package in front of the night porter’s desk, scaring Sal into looking up from his
comic book. The contents of the box rattled and clunked as Yazeba glared at him.
“You could have asked me for help,” Sal said vaguely, closing his book. He peered
at the snappy, fashionable text emblazoned on the long package, mostly to avoid
the witch’s gaze as she irritably lit up a cigar. “What is this? The Amel-E 2900?”
“New vacuum from Amel Labs,” Yazeba growled, smoke curling from her nose
and lips. “But what manner of vacuum weighs half a ton, I don’t know. Now open the
box.”
Sal obeyed, and they both stared at its contents for a moment.
“That is not a vacuum,” Yazeba said, blowing smoke out of the side of her mouth.
With a flick of her long, knobbly finger, the smoke meekly flew out the still open front
door, which was allowing pleasant evening spring air to waft in. “Get it assembled and
see what it does.” And with that she sailed upstairs, trailed by smug cigar smoke,
leaving Sal to stare at the box’s contents.
It was an unassembled robot.
Its limbs were laid neatly by its head on pillows like some sort of hilariously
macabre open-casket viewing. A large box labeled HOUSEBOT ATTACHMENTS sat
underneath the bot’s main parts.
“Ugh,” Sal said aloud, and sat down, wondering why they couldn’t send it back in
exchange for a real vacuum. The robot ticked as he worked.
2 ticks. “…Rather be finishing Hey Kid’s comic.” 24 ticks. “…Just in time for spring
cleaning, actually. We can’t waste such a beautiful day.” 48 ticks. “Hehe, well, I could.
But I wouldn’t call it wasting. Just prioritizing.” 54 ticks. “… Spend your whole life
taking care of others.” The robot’s LED face display lit up very suddenly and very
brightly.
“Whoa!” Sal said.
“ThaAAaaaank you for purchasing the AMEL-E 2900 from Amel Corp. Please
optimize settings at this time,” the robot bleated out. Sal sat back as the thing rose
in one graceful movement, surveying its surroundings with a slowly rotating head. It
fiddled precisely with what appeared to be a hearing aid in its right earpiece. “Amel
Corp prides itself on accessibility and ease of use. My AI will learn as I go. Please
optimize settings, speaking clearly,” it repeated. “Designate a service. Cleaning,
childcare, military operations, groundskeeper, butler.”
“Oh, uh…cleaning!” Sal blurted out.
“Priority set: Cleaning,” the robot said. “Designate a second service at this time:
yes or no?”
“Uh…no?”
“Very well,” the robot said, suddenly sounding crisper. It stopped messing with its
hearing aid. “Service designated: Cleaning. Directive: Spend your whole life taking
care of others. Initiating services.”
And with that, the robot stepped smartly over to Sal’s desk and knocked his half-
eaten sandwich into the trash can beside his desk.
“Hey!” Sal leaped up. “Wait a minute—”
“Apologies,” the Amel-E 2900 said stiffly. “Sensors indicated this item was at least
4 hours old. Bacteria and other harmful microorganisms can begin growing on room
temperature poultry in as little as 43 minutes—”
“No, no—not that,” Sal said, waving a hand, though they did owe him a sandwich
now. “I meant—your designation. What I said when I was assembling you was you
can’t spend your life taking care of others. You gotta have—you gotta have some you
time, you know?”
The robot, astoundingly, managed to look confused despite a lack of facial features.
“Does not compute. Initiating service.” And they threw his soda in the trash as well.
“Hey! If you’re gonna work here, you gotta be a little more flexible!” Sal protested.
“You can’t just toss every lone man’s soda or sandwich!”
“Very well,” the robot rapped out. “Initializing manual set-up. Are you prepared,
YAZEBA?” And they said the witch’s name in a way that suggested it had been pre-
recorded by an employee (and pronounced badly, to boot).
“I’m not Yazeba, but yes! Yes! You gotta chill out, my good bot,” Sal said, saving a
half-wrapped piece of candy that the Amel-E 2900 had been staring at and stuffing
it in his pocket for later. Their electronic gaze followed the candy and remained on
his pocket, as if they’d love nothing more than to wrestle the candy from him and
toss it.
“I don’t want to call you a bunch of numbers, so let’s get you a name. A cool one.
Amel-E just doesn’t… hey! Amelie! That’s a slick name! D’you like that?”
The robot’s gaze rose from his pocket to his face, their large blue eyes flickering.
“Amelie. Aaaamelieeee,” they hummed. Their head tilted, and over the course of the
sentence, it became true. “This is satisfactory.”
Sal’s face broke out into a relieved grin. “Anyway, I’m Sal, the night porter. Welcome
to the B&B, Amelie.”
Amelie twitched at the sound of their own new name. “Thank you.”
And that is the story of how Amelie, robot and ?person?, came to work as the
cleaning service at Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast.
#
A Garden Grows?
z Amelie, Sal, p anyone with a green thumb
guest Starring: The Rabbits In The
Garden Who Wear Little Outfits
a staRting chaPteRS
goings-on of the Bed & Breakfast. The second was always the discovery of mysteri-
ous packages containing books written in a variety of natural and unnatural languag-
es in the mailbox. And the third was her apparent cheerfulness.
A chipper witch is far more dangerous than a grumpy one.
And so, when Yazeba came whistling downstairs for the first time in weeks with a
stack of books under one arm, all of them titled things like Barnabie Duke’s Officious
Guide To Horticultural Production, Amelie and Sal knew exactly what was going on.
She tossed her tomes onto the kitchen table, nearly spilling Sal’s coffee.
“Well, my dear staff. I’ve been thinking about the backyard,” Yazeba said with an
insincere smile, “I believe that the garden requires some upkeep, and I’ve decided
that one of you will be taking care of it for me.”
Amelie whirred over, leaning their broom against the wall—they almost never put
it down, so they must have been quite excited. “Miss Yazeba, this task falls well with-
in my ability to resolve.”
At that very same instant, however, Sal leaned back in his chair, and said, “Don’t
worry, ma’am, I’ll get it looking gorgeous.”
Amelie paused and looked at Sal, surprised.
Sal paused and looked at Amelie, unsure.
Yazeba rolled her eyes. “So which of you wants to be in charge?”
Sal stood up with indignation. “Yazeba, I’m a creative. An artiste. Give me a plot of
land and I’ll make the most beautiful garden you’ve ever seen. Look, very respectful-
ly to Mx. Tin Can over here,” he nodded to Amelie, “But you need someone with a
vision, and that’s me.”
Amelie beeped with indignation, and coolly argued, “Mr. Sal has a less than 100%
success rate in disposing of his expired sandwiches. He would be a suboptimal des-
ignation for this duty.”
Sal started to stammer out a rebuttal, but Amelie cut him off. “I have a disc with
50 megabytes of the latest cutting edge botanical organization software. I can plot
the perfect garden.”
“Ugh,” Yazeba said, pinching the bridge of her nose to hide a shrewd little smirk. “It
doesn’t really matter as long as it gets done, so I suppose both of you will supervise
this project.”
In unison, Sal and Amelie both said something along the lines of, “No. Wait, what?
Yes. No!” They glared at each other from across the main desk.
Yazeba stopped hiding her amusement. “You’ll have to work together, of course.
Wrangle some volunteers, put the rabbits to work. You have a garden to grow.”
#
110
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a Chaos
Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
THE DIRTY WORK #
111
Whenever a Veggie Track fills up, whoever checked it off last gets an “X.” Whenever a
a staRting chaPteRS
Flower Track fills up, whoever checked it off last gets an “O.” Take a tiny scrap of paper and
draw the symbol on it. They may give these Xs and Os to whoever they please, but Amelie
and Sal would like them most of all. During this chapter, everyone has access to the follow-
ing additional Bingos:
! Bring someone else a snack.
! Remind someone to put on sunscreen.
…and the following additional Whoopsies:
U Spill dirt or fertilizer everywhere.
U Step on a plant.
RABBIT FOOD
The Rabbits in the Garden Who Wear Little Outfits are normally a helpful warren, but all
the new seeds and veggies being tossed around have them feeling a tad mischievous. The
Rabbits In The Garden Who Wear Little Outfits may consult their Chaos Coins in order
to steal an X or O from another player. If they succeed, they may consume it, marking a
Track on their Journey.
The Rabbits In The Garden Who Wear Little Outfits may also be persuaded to be
helpful. The garden is their front yard, after all.
GARDEN PLANNING
Sal and Amelie are both trying to finagle the
design of the garden. Amelie is attempting
to arrange the garden in neat rows, alternat-
ing between Xs and Os. Sal is trying to play
Tic Tac Toe with himself.
Once the garden is completely filled
up, Amelie and Sal decide together how
the Chapter ends, everyone drinks some
lemonade, and the Bed & Breakfast gets a
Dandelion Bouquet. Hold onto any Chaos
Coins and unplaced X’s and O’s you’ve col-
lected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
#
112
36
CHAPTER
Sal Has Written
A Play
z Sal p anyone theatrical
a staRting chaPteRS
I
t was damp in the Bed & Breakfast, the sort of damp that soaks through the
wood of the old walls and drenches everything it can find. Sal was scribbling
away inside his spiral notebook as the ink bled through the pages, which is a
difficult way to write. He chewed the end of his pen.
“No. That’s not it.” He muttered to himself, ripping out a chunk from the water-
logged notebook and throwing it in the direction of the waste bin. “Two-bit no-good
hack loser can’t write…”
Gertrude looked up from her own diary on the sofa, and asked, “What’re you
working on over there, anyway?”
“Oh!” he started, closing the notebook abruptly. “I’ve had some musician’s block
lately, so…I thought I’d try out a play.”
Gertrude straightened up. “Really! What’s it about?”
It was at that moment that it felt, to Sal, like the whole Bed & Breakfast was over-
hearing their conversation. He wavered, saying, “Well, it’s kind of about…”
“A play?” Parish called from the other room. “Sal, my boy, you didn’t tell me you
were writing a play!”
“Well, I wasn’t really—” Sal said. But Hey Kid dashed in from outside, wet from the
drizzle and howling, “A play, a play, a play, a play, a play! Can I be in it? Can I be in it?”
He stammered. “I guess it is almost done, although it’s just a rough draft—”
Parish strolled into the foyer, wiping jam from his hands onto his apron and pick-
ing up one of the many crumpled pieces of paper on the ground for inspection.
“Modesty doesn’t suit you, my friend. I’d bet dollars to donuts that it’s marvelous.”
Sal blushed. He’d never written a play before. “It takes time to stage a whole show,
but I guess we can start planning.”
Gertrude clambered up from the couch and stretched out her limbs. “Everyone’s
so bored with this nasty weather…we can turn the den into a stage and theater and
everything. Let’s do it!”
#
114
RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
staRting chaPteRS a
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
THE PLAYBILL
Before we begin, Sal casts everyone in the play, giving each person one of the roles below.
There may be extras.
+ Isabello, the captain of the guard, and in love.
+ Don Michael, the fearsome lord, here to arrest someone.
+ Panteloon, an old wealthy merchant who is someone’s father.
+ Lisbei, a princess-in-exile, disguised as a man, and in love.
+ Captain Redtooth, the infamous pirate captain, and in love.
+ Roberto, the banished wizard, and in love.
+ Babeline, a beloved child.
+ Yabeza, the ancient witch, who once laid curse on someone.
+ Bumblelina, queen of the Shadow Fairies.
+ The Terrible Dragon
+ The Queen Of The Moon
+ Newt, a beleaguered, struggling, and stunningly handsome playwright who is
underappreciated in his time.
+ A Tree
The play follows a two act structure, with an intermission in the middle. The plot and
structure of the play will be invented by all of us as we play, but can generally be assumed
to include both dizzying successes and heart wrenching failures, moments of comedy and
tragedy alike, and for it to all be wrapped up with a happy ending.
a staRting chaPteRS
Bingos for the first time, cross it off.
! Deliver a monologue with gusto.
! Deliver an absurd pun.
! Deliver a line that makes someone laugh.
! Deliver a surprisingly heart wrenching soliloquy.
! Cry realistic tears over someone who’s died a realistic death.
! Describe a daring and gripping swordfight with another character.
! Cover up a problem with flawless improvisation.
If the play concludes and all of these have been crossed off, then it was a roaring success. The
Bed & Breakfast gets a Dandelion Bouquet, and Sal can submit the play to his local the-
atrical organization. Hold onto any tokens you’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
Gone Fishin’CHAPTER
z Parish, Sal, p anyone rightfully feared by fish
21
a staRting chaPteRS
L
ong tendrils of golden light stretching towards Veilridge. The sun was just
beginning to peek around the edges of the mountain to illuminate the woods
below. It was already hot, even for a summer morning, and the buzzing of
insects was slowly building to a roar. Parish leapt ahead with the fishing rods and
tackle slung over one froggy shoulder, while Sal lagged behind, stumbling over the
rocks in his worn-down sandals and lugging a sloshing cooler.
The watering hole was an old lake, carved from the mountains by glaciers. Sal could
see the fossils embedded in the layers of sediment, the prehistoric remains of trilo-
bites and ichthyosaurs frozen in motion. The shore was covered in tiny round stones,
and the basking willows provided a small relief from the sun.
Parish walked up to the gravelly edge of the water.
“Spring water,” he muttered to himself, before dipping his webbed fingers in. He
jumped back immediately as a minnow tried to bite. “Very active! Lots of catch.”
Sal tossed the cooler and an extra bag of chips onto the rocks, wiping the sweat
from his brow. “I can’t believe we hiked all the way up a mountain at the crack of dawn.
I thought fishing was supposed to be relaxing!”
Parish scoffed. “The early bird catches the worm, my friend!” He pulled out a box
of bait and examined the wriggling nightcrawlers. “And the early worm catches the,
er, fish.”
Sal looked down at the fishing rod and the countless creatures swimming in the
beautiful blue lake, and he smiled to himself. “Hell of a spot, anyway.”
# RELAXED MOOD
118
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
staRting chaPteRS a
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
a staRting chaPteRS
the same time. Who knows what’s down there? Who knows how deep it goes? If you think
fishing is a Sport, you can do this extra Whoopsie:
U Reel in something that definitely isn’t a fish.
If you think fishing is a Pastime, you can do this extra Bingo:
! Muse aloud on a theory for why the watering hole is so weird.
SUNDOWN
Tick this track forward whenever someone does a Bingo. When the sun starts to set, it’s
time to hike back to the Bed & Breakfast and brag about your catches. The Chapter ends,
and the Bed & Breakfast gets a Soggy Old Boot. Everyone takes tokens equal to the value
of their catch, and holds onto those tokens (along with any other tokens they’ve collected)
to use as Leftovers during Housekeeping.
#
120
After DinnerCHAPTER
z Gertrude, Parish, p anyone who wants to help
12
a staRting chaPteRS
D
inner was delicious, of course. Parish poured his heart and soul into every
meal. Sal had moved the big dining room table out into the back yard, and
Amelie had spent all afternoon untangling string lights to illuminate the en-
tire field with a gentle glow. There were some mosquitoes, but Yazeba’s magic kept
most of them at bay; and under the summer stars, the whole house enjoyed itself
well into the night.
Gertrude slammed the screen door behind her as she stumbled into the kitchen.
The muggy air clung to her skin, and she lifted up her mask to wipe away the pools
of sweat that had formed. The kitchen was dark, with only a single bare bulb hanging
over the sink where piles of dirty dishes teetered, ready to be washed. Parish sat on
his stool, with a plate held under the warm tap water.
“Oh, Parish, hi?” Gertrude leaned against one of the cabinets, unsure where to
put herself.
Parish turned sharply, surprised. “Gertrude! What are you doing here? Shouldn’t
you be enjoying dinner?”
“I’m not hungry,” Gertrude said, and Parish could tell she was lying. “I should be
asking you the same thing. Why aren’t you out there?”
“I was just a little tired. Thought I might get started on the dishes,” he said, and
Gertrude could tell he was lying, too.
“Oh, okay. Can I help?”
Parish hesitated. “Of course.”
And so, under a flickering bulb in a house that at times felt a little too big and
a little too loud, surrounded by the chirping of cicadas and buzzing mosquitoes,
Gertrude picked up a sponge and started washing out one of the many mugs bal-
anced at the edge of the sink.
#
122
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
staRting chaPteRS a
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks for.
These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a
Whoopsie, they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a Bingo
or giving it to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
NEEDING SPACE
Gertrude isn’t good at being social. She’s not used to it, and the constant bustle and roar
of the Bed & Breakfast feels like far too much, far too often. Gertrude chooses one of the
questions below, or invents her own:
+ “Do I give enough to earn my place here?”
+ “What can I do to take up less space?”
+ “Should I get a real job here?”
The Question starts with 4 tokens on it. Once all the tokens have been removed, we’ll each
go around and try to answer the question for ourselves, as best we can. It’s up to each person
whether they answer it out loud or just in their head.
SCULLERY DUTY
There is a teetering tower of dishes dominating the kitchen, each one gooier than the last.
Write down the following question on an index card:
+ “How many more dishes are left?!”
This Question starts with 15 tokens on it. Unlike the other Questions, you may ask this one
aloud, as many times as you like. Once all the tokens have been removed, the dishes are done,
and the Chapter will end with Fitting In. Additionally, anyone can do the following Whoopsies:
U Drop a soapy dish, and break it.
U Change the subject.
U Lapse into silence.
FITTING IN #
123
It is hard to feel like you fit in, like the world has space for you. Write down the Big
a staRting chaPteRS
Question on another index card:
+ “Where am I supposed to fit in?”
The Big Question starts with no tokens on it, but anyone may put one of their own tokens
on it whenever they like. We’re probably not going to fully answer this question during this
Chapter. Instead, when the Chapter ends, everyone goes around and gives as much of an
answer as they can, based on how many tokens the question has.
+ Less Than 6 Tokens: Say nothing.
+ 6-12 Tokens: Say something unrelated to someone else, trying to be supportive.
+ 13-19 Tokens: Give a short answer, if you have one—out loud or in your head.
The Bed & Breakfast gets a Pile of Plates.
+ 20 or more Tokens: Give a full answer, if you have one—out loud or in your head.
Then write the question and answer down on an index card attached to your
Character Sheet. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Pile of Plates.
Hold on to any tokens you’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
#
124
In which Hey Kid opens a competing hotel in the backyard, and the
two businesses must duke it out to win the allegiances of the guests.
A
utumn leaves crunched beneath Hey Kid’s feet as they carried anoth- #
er cardboard box out of the recycling bin and through the yard. They 125
a staRting chaPteRS
stapled it to the side of a series of other, larger boxes, which spanned
between three trees at the edge of the woods where the fire pit was. Many of the
original boxes were structural in their placement, but this one served a unique
purpose: with a wicked grin, they pulled a set of stolen frying pans out of their
backpack, and tossed them inside the box. The whole cardboard structure wiggled.
“Yazeba, I think we have a problem.” Parish peeked through the blinds, out at
the backyard.
“What did Hey Kid do this time?” Yazeba murmured from behind her book
of spells.
With great goopy swings, Hey Kid smeared paint across the largest of the card-
board boxes. Their tail painted the more precise words, while the rest of them leapt
from tree branches to cardboard flaps, making the last touches on their all-morn-
ing magnum opus. Piles of sleeping bags and stolen sheets, cardboard rooms with
cardboard windows, a megaphone with proper batteries, and enough space around
the fire pit for everyone to sit down and have a bite, to share in the great tasty meal.
Yazeba buried her nose deeper into her book. “I don’t know what’s gotten into
them—they’ve been especially rowdy all day.”
Parish grimaced and wisely kept his opinion about who blew up at whom to him-
self. He let go of the blinds, turning to face her as he selected a different tact. “Do
you remember what you told them this morning?”
“That we were having eggs, and that’s that,” Yazeba scoffed. Outside, Hey Kid fin-
ished the last words on their sign.
“No,” said Parish, carefully. “You told them, and I quote: ‘When you own your own
Bed & Breakfast, you can serve pancakes every day.’”
Yazeba snorted, but then the realization began to dawn on her. She’d known Hey
Kid their entire life, and it was, perhaps, possible that her own persnicketiness
about language had rubbed off on them. With a chill down her spine, Yazeba rushed
to the window and cast aside the blinds to see what hell she’d unleashed.
Hey Kid’s voice rang out from the backyard, loud enough to wake even the sleep-
iest guest:
“HEY EVERYBODY!!! You don’t have to stay here anymore! There’s a new Bed &
Breakfast in town!”
Outside, in huge red letters large enough to be seen from a mile away, the great
cardboard monstrosity read: HEY KID HOTEL — PANCAKES EVERY DAY.
#
126
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
CHOOSING SIDES
Yazeba is captain of her B&B, and Hey Kid is the captain of their Hotel. Any other
Residents or Guests (other than the Gaggle) must declare their loyalties before the chapter
begins. Anyone can change their mind and switch sides by doing a Bingo and giving their
coins to their former captain.
The Gaggle of Guests has no loyalties. They may act as they please, especially as dictated
by The Battle Of The Brands.
CONTESTED TERRITORY
There are three paths between
the Bed & Breakfast and
Hey Kid Hotel, all of which
have become strategical-
ly vital. Yazeba’s and Hey
Kid’s armies can take turns
trying to claim or contest
territory along the Field,
Garden, and Deck Tracks.
To do so, they describe their
strategy (be it cunning or
foolish) and consult their
Chaos Coins.
If they succeed, can they
put a coin from the table onto the
Track—heads up to claim it for the
Bed & Breakfast, tails up to claim it
for the Hotel—forming an unbroken
line from their home base. If the other team already had a coin there, a successful attack
will flip it.
If the territory was already claimed, the defending captain will decide who was defending #
that track, and that defender will describe how they lost ground or held the line. Whenever 127
territory changes hands, no one can claim territory along that Track until a territory changes
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hands on one of the other two.
a staRting chaPteRS
G
ertrude stared at the pumpkin bucket Hey Kid was clutching, puzzled. “It’s
Halloween now? Isn’t it always September here?”
But no one answered her question.
Hey Kid was practically jumping off the walls, grinning and yelling, “IT’S HALLOWEEN
IT’S HALLOWEEN! I GOTTA GO TRICK OR TREATING I GOTTA I GOTTA!”
Sal buried his head in his notebook. “Well I’m not taking you alone. Last year we
nearly got mauled by werewolves. Not happening again.”
Parish nodded in agreement. “Not with those dreadful ghouls out there.”
Hey Kid tried to mount an effective counterargument, but ended up just standing
crestfallen with their bucket scraping the ground.
Gertrude looked at the pair of them, and closed her journal. “I can keep an eye
on Hey Kid. It might be nice to get out of the Bed & Breakfast for a little bit, after all.”
Hey Kid’s face exploded with excitement, and in mere minutes Gertrude found
herself walking through the leaves on an unfamiliar road with Hey Kid in full costume.
Across the street were a couple of kids dressed as zombies, screaming and carry-
ing rolls of toilet paper.
When one of them turned to her with no lower jaw and one eye hanging loose,
Gertrude abruptly realized that she had perhaps stumbled into something she wasn’t
quite prepared for.
#
130
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie and
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack, Queen, King,
or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an
Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red
Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
When someone reveals an Omen Card of the correct color, they’ll consult the Chapter’s
rules to find out what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card unless the rules say
otherwise. If the deck runs out of cards before they find an Omen of the right suit, there’s
a moment of uneasy quiet. Shuffle any unclaimed cards back into the deck.
COSTUMES
Before the chapter begins, everyone decides if they’re more of a Goblin or a Guard. Goblins
are here for the candy and the fun. Guards are here to chaperone the Goblins, and keep the
Goblins from realizing that perhaps the other Trick or Treaters are more dangerous than they
seem. Additionally, everyone chooses a costume from the list below, or invents their own:
+ A Frankenstein, with a green mask + A Superhero, with a red bedsheet
and metal bolts. and underwear outside your pants.
+ A Mummy, wrapped in toilet paper. + A Fairy, with ornamental wings and
+ A Devil, with a scary mask and uncanny eyes.
horns. + A Wizard, in flowing starry robes
+ A Ghost, literally just in a bedsheet.
and a fake beard.
+ A Dracula, with red cape and
plastic fangs. + A Witch, with a fur coat and a fake
+ A Princess, in a flowing pink dress cigarette.
and a hennin. + A Tree.
+ A Knight, in shining armor. + Yourself.
TREATS!
Goblins get these additional Bingos:
! Look really endearing in your costume.
! Hold up your basket and say “Pretty Please!”
And these additional Whoopsies:
U Scream really loudly.
U Cause a ruckus.
Additionally, the Goblins are the only characters allowed to interact with the Eerie
Deck. Whenever they interact with the deck, they must first say “Trick or Treat!” As the
Goblin flips over cards, they hold onto all the non-Omen cards they get. At the end of the
chapter, turn each non-Omen Card into a piece of candy, based on the following list.
TWO A Penny SEVEN Box of Jocks #
THREE Catfish Taffy EIGHT Snickerberry Sticks 131
FOUR Wagner’s Unoriginals NINE Chocolate Toad
a staRting chaPteRS
FIVE Fistful of Sugarcorn TEN King-Sized Wonderbar
SIX Bag of Moonbursts
TRICKS!
Each Omen Card represents a threat which the Guards have noticed that the Goblins haven’t
yet. Whenever that Omen Card is revealed, the Goblin who revealed it describes the threat it
holds, based on the list below. The Guards must each try to resolve the threat by doing Bingos
or Whoopsies, ideally without the Goblins ever realizing there was a problem. The Goblin who
drew the card can give it to whichever Guard they think did the best job resolving the threat.
If the Goblin thinks the threat wasn’t addressed, or was frightened by the problem, they’ll drop
half their candy (shuffling half of their collected cards back into the deck) and flee, if appropriate.
JACKDIAMONDSI spilled my candy, but haven’t noticed yet. How do you gather it up before I freak out?
QUEENDIAMONDS
One of the candies in my bag is secretly a bit dangerous. How do you sneak it away?
KINGDIAMONDSOne of the houses slammed their door in my face. How do you make it up to me?
ACEDIAMONDS I misplace part of my costume, and I’m distraught. How do to help me feel better?
JACKHEARTS When the door opens up, the old woman inside is way too condescending. She
pinches my cheek and calls me a little baby! How do you help me assert my agency?
QUEENHEARTS When the door opens up, the grouchy old man inside is scary and rude and gives me
barely anything. How do you remind him it’s important to be kind?
KINGHEARTS When the door opens up, the wealthy family inside completely snubs me. They
clearly are looking down at my costume. How do you help me get revenge?
ACEHEARTS When the door opens up, the stressed-out mom can barely give me anything because
she’s too busy with ten thousand other things. How do we make her life easier?
JACKCLUBS A pack of strange dogs are nearby. They have slobbering jaws and are definitely dan-
gerous, but I think they’re cute. How do you pacify the dogs?
QUEENCLUBS The houses down this street have no lights, and the sound of distant flutes wafts
through the air. How do we avoid this section so I don’t get hurt?
KINGCLUBS A thin mist rolls across the street, and we suddenly become deeply lost. How do you
help us find our way back to the streets we should be on?
ACECLUBS In the distance we can see an enormous striding skeletal figure, moving through the
clouds. Its single eye resembles the moon, and it seems to be looking for something.
How do you keep its spotlight from shining on us?
JACKSPADES A group of kids dressed as monsters invites me to join in a Silly String fight. How
do you keep me safe while still letting me have fun?
QUEENSPADES An older kid dressed in black robes with a terrifying mask stops us. She demands a
candy tithe. How do you help her deal with her loneliness?
KINGSPADES I haven’t noticed the ghostly individual that’s been following us for the last few
houses. How do you get rid of the ghost without me noticing?
ACESPADES A gang of older kids “dressed” as zombies, who call themselves the Ghoul Gang, are
harassing us. How do you chase them off without picking a fight?
Once all four Aces have been collected, it’s curfew time and everyone has to go home.
Everyone compares their loot, and the B&B gets a Jack O’Lantern. Hold onto any Omen
Cards you’ve collected, along with any 8s, 9s, and 10s, as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
#
A Mug of 25
CHAPTER
132
Winter Cheer
z Yazeba, Parish, p anyone cozy
a staRting chaPteRS
T
he Bed & Breakfast had been completely covered in snow for two days,
barring entrance and exit, yet somehow no one was miserable. Everyone
was bundled up in the coziest sweaters they could find, old-timey music
played on the chunky radio, and the lights of the Bed & Breakfast took on a beautiful
warmth against the blanket of snow outside. It was perfect, or at least, nearly per-
fect. All tonight needed was…
“Cocoa’s ready!” Parish called from the kitchen, and from couches and pillow forts
the whole B&B descended on the tall steel pot overflowing with rich chocolate, cin-
namon, milk, and peppermint. All the mugs were pulled down from the racks and
filled to the rim using long ladles. Bowls of handmade whipped cream were quickly
emptied and playful accusations of marshmallow theft flew through the air. No one
besides Parish noticed what was missing: one tired old witch.
Only on rare occasions would Yazeba leave her study, but Parish found her in
front of the fireplace in the parlor, wrapped in a heavy quilt with her feet up on a
stool. A hefty old tome was open on her lap. Parish placed a mug of cocoa down next
to her, and settled into an antique floral armchair.
“How’s everything holding up?” Parish took a sip from his own cup.
Yazeba was prepared to mutter a “none of your business” or a “why do you care?”
before she looked at her cocoa. A gentle line of steam danced up from the rich
chocolate, nestled in one of the mugs from the gift shop that was shaped exactly like
the Bed & Breakfast, one chimney looped out as a handle. She picked up her cup in
both hands, held it close to her face, and felt its warmth.
#
134
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
staRting chaPteRS a
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks for.
These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a
Whoopsie, they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a Bingo
or giving it to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
a staRting chaPteRS
through will make it easier, even if some part of her is scared it will make it worse.
Any character can write a question for Yazeba down on a card and put a token on it from
their personal collection. Yazeba doesn’t have to answer the question in the moment, but
she can consider it. Anyone can put another token on that question if they want to press
it again.
At any time, if Yazeba feels a question is wrong, she can return all the tokens from the
card to the table and destroy the question with a single judgemental phrase.
Once everything else is all set, Yazeba looks over all of the questions left for her. If none
of them feel right, she takes all the remaining tokens and retires to her room in brooding
silence. If even just one of them feels correct to her, she takes that question and silently puts
it with her character sheet. Do not say the answer out loud. The Bed & Breakfast gets a
Festive Mug, and everyone divides up the tokens left on the table. Hold onto any collect-
ed tokens for use as Leftovers during Housekeeping.
#
136
23
CHAPTER
The Longest Night
of the Year
z Gertrude, anyone who can’t sleep,
p the terrible creatures in the walls
a staRting chaPteRS
G
ertrude stared up at the darkness of her room, wide awake again. The tiny
radiator in the corner was doing its absolute best to keep her as toasty as it
could. She was thankful, but no matter how high she cranked it or how many
blankets she wrapped around herself she couldn’t shake the cold. It was the sort of
cold that wormed its way into your bones, and no matter how securely she tucked
the blankets under her feet, it found her again.
Ker-lunk. The radiator’s pipes shifted, and the sound so surprised Gertrude that
she gasped. Another hour passed with her eyes screwed shut, but the longer she lay
in the darkness, the more her mind began to play tricks on her. An overflowing laun-
dry hamper shifted into a drooling monster, a tall shelf became a hulking murderer.
She pressed her head into her pillow pile.
Sleep was a hopeless prospect, she realized. Maybe if it wasn’t so still and empty
in her room. Maybe if the window wasn’t glowing blue with moonlight. Maybe if the old
house would stop creaking and thumping. Maybe if she wasn’t so, so horribly alone.
She pulled herself out of bed and grabbed a flashlight.
Surely I’m not the only one who can’t sleep tonight, she thought as she pushed
her door open. The flashlight cast impossibly long shadows along the wallpaper, and
as Gertrude tiptoed into the hall she could feel an icy chill cling to the bottoms of
her pajamas.
What Gertrude didn’t realize is that, while a few of her friends would be awake in
these dark and treacherous hours, it wasn’t to wander the halls of a witch’s house
on the longest night of the year. Perhaps if she’d known what sort of creatures might
emerge from their hidden cracks and crevices to dance beneath the midwinter
moon, she would’ve burrowed even deeper into her blankets and waited until the
sun finally rose.
Instead, she crept gingerly through the halls, trying to convince herself that there
weren’t shapes fleeing the beam of her flashlight whenever she moved it, and that
she didn’t feel watched by a grinning audience just out of sight.
#
138
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
staRting chaPteRS a
them. Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie and
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack, Queen, King,
or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an
Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red
Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
When someone reveals an Omen Card, they’ll consult the Chapter’s rules to find out
what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card unless the rules say otherwise.
a staRting chaPteRS
hoping desperately to run into each other, feeling that particular late night feeling when
you hope you’re not the only one awake.
At the start, everyone except Gertrude picks one of the Hearts cards. Those are all Omen
Cards (even if they’re not one of the traditional Omen Cards). Before someone’s card is
found, that Character is wandering on their own—cut between them and the main group.
Whenever one of them is flipped, that means that character ran into and found Gertrude,
and they’re now traveling together. They hold on to their card, and don’t put any other non-
Omen Cards that were flipped over into the Night Danse pile.
Nobody may pick the Ace of Hearts.
144
#
145
Tracks &
Shelves
#
146
aSsorted tracks a
Ass"ted Tracks
If you have Leftovers for marking a Track, and your Journey doesn’t have one, you can
always mark up one of the Tracks here. If we run out of Tracks here, the Concierge can
invent more.
Once this track fills up, the Bed & Breakfast gets Once this track fills up, the Bed & Breakfast gets
a greenhouse. Who takes care of it? Jot down a a book club. Who started it, and who joined?
new fact about it in their Facts About Me. What’s the first book we’re reading? Jot down a
new fact about it in their Facts About Me.
Once this track fills up, the Bed & Breakfast gets
a sewing machine. Does anyone know how to
use it? Who wants to learn? Jot down a new fact
about it in their Facts About Me.
#
147
a aSsorted tracks
Once this track fills up, let’s have a pizza party!
Who’s placing the order? Where are we going to
eat the pizza? Who can make it?
Once this track fills up, a mysterious and secret Once this track fills up, a package arrives! The Bed
package arrives! The Bed & Breakfast gets a & Breakfast gets a Decorative Mug, a Brand
Book Of Magic. New Book, or a Novelty Hat. Erase the track and
tell everyone who your package is from.
Once this track fills up, the Bed & Breakfast Once this track fills up, the Bed & Breakfast gets
gets a new coat of paint. Erase the track and the roof retiled. This isn’t exciting, but it’s gotta
tell everyone what color it is now. Does Yazeba happen. Set a reminder for ten years from now,
approve? and erase this track when it goes off (because we
need to retile the roof again).
#
148
aSsorted tracks a
a aSsorted tracks
Once this track fills up, the Bed & Breakfast gets
a jacuzzi. Where does it go?
Once this track fills up, the Bed & Breakfast gets
an electric kettle. What color is it?
shelves
THE FRONT DESK
The lobby of the Bed & Breakfast is what you might call “cozy” if you were feeling
generous, or “disorganized” if not, as it tries to pull triple duty as a reception area,
lounge, and breakroom. The room is as overstuffed with furniture as its armchairs
and couches are with cushioning, but dominating it all is the massive mahogany
front desk, its polished surface still gleaming beneath a decade of scuff marks and
neglected coaster usage.
Despite housing the guest book (and the Bed & Breakfast’s massive old “busi-
ness computer,” and, often, Sal’s lunch,) the front desk has plenty of space for knick
knacks and curios, tucked between the displays for local business’s flyers and a
trough of complementary hard candies.
#
151
a shelves
Once we fill these Nooks with Mementos,
Unlock Muckleby on pg. 208, and we can
start filling the rest of the Nooks.
⎩
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎧
Unlock The
Dabrowski
Family on
pg. 192.
Unlock Unlock
Bethsy on Demi
pg. 186. Gorgone on
pg. 193.
wan
Unlock Repohyr
an d Z
Lyranth2ie13l.
on pg.
Unlock
The Ptísilith
on pg. 211.
#
shelves a
152
Once we fill these Nooks with Amelie begins to curate a
wardrobe.They keep their new
Mementos, Unlock Chapter 15: “Shovels clothes in the utility closet. Gertrude and Amelie
Draw some of their favorite decorate the utility closet.
At Dawn” on pg. 260, and we can clothing and accessories and Draw a picture and attach
start filling the rest of the Nooks. attach it to their Character it to their Character
Sheet as a Keepsake! Sheet as a Keepsake!
⎩
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎧
pg. 201.
Unlock
Unlock
Chapter
Cleaning”
on pg. 314.
Hiccup on
40: “Spring
pg. 264.
Unlock
pg. 195.
“Let’s Start
A Band”on
Chapter 33:
Unlock Dr.
Domizio on
Unlock
one lock on
Chapter 52:
Off” on pg. 322.
“Amelie’s Big Day
THE UTILITY CLOSET #
153
The utility closet is Amelie’s domain, where they power down once their seeming-
a shelves
ly endless tasks are complete, and where their scant few treasures and articles
of clothing—if they have any—are kept. This dusty old room doesn’t seem like much,
and it’s certainly crowded with things no ordinary person would keep next to their
bedside, like bleach and vinegar, mops and brooms, and anti-curse water and anil mal
de ojo dye.
But among all the emergency supplies, below the shelved box of replacement
parts and extra attachments that Amelie came with, is a little stand where Amelie can
sit, rest, and recharge. To power down means they have a chance to finally sleep—
maybe even dream…
#
shelves a
154
Parish gets a new kitchen
appliance! Does it bake
Parish masters a new bread? Fry air? Something
recipe, and it becomes even more culinarily
Unlock The Zappamouschi his signature dish. Write arcane? Draw a picture
Circus! on pg. 221. the recipe down and and list its uses, and
attach it to his Character attach it to his Character
Sheet as a Keepsake! Sheet as a Keepsake.
⎩
⎨
⎧
⎩
on pg. 197.
Unlock E.
⎪
Vermi Boletus
⎨
⎪
⎧
Unlock
on pg. 286.
Chapter 46:
“The Midnight
Mushroom Hunt”
Once we fill these Nooks with Mementos, Unlock Chapter 44: “The
Tomtom Hunt” on pg. 256, and we can start filling the rest of the Nooks.
Unlock
one lock on
Chapter 52:
Off” on pg. 322.
“Amelie’s Big Day
THE PANTRY #
155
Oh, what a feast we have in store! A variety of produce awaits for Parish’s prepara-
a shelves
tion, laid out patiently on several cutting boards. Every necessary instrument, from
carving knives to an apple corer, is out and ready for use. Before such a hefty meal
can be made, there’s one last thing on the chef’s list—the spices!
Inside the Bed & Breakfast’s infinitely sprawling pantry lies every seasoning, both
known and unknown. All one has to do is seek them out; that and hoist themselves
up to the rafters in search of rarer delicacies, kept far away from the more accessible
shelves. Does this meal call for floral notes of ginger and thyme, or more pungent,
indescribable ones? If so, it may be time to climb…
Once we fill these Nooks with Mementos,
Sal’s station wagon is fixed. Unlock Chapter
# 22: “The Big Screen” on pg. 236, and we can
156 start filling the rest of the Nooks.
shelves a
⎩
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎧
U
Chapntleock
“A Trip T r 30:
Wate o The
art on the side of the station wagon.
on pgr. fr2ont”
Draw a picture and attach it to his
Sal paints some awesome fantasy
42.
Unlock
one lock on
Chapter 52:
“Amelie’s Big Day
Off” on pg. 322.
⎧
Unlock Chapter 83: “Day
At The Beach” on pg. 396.
Unlock
Chapter 49:
“Rock On!”
⎨ on pg. 282.
⎩ Unlock
Chapter 75:
“The Crash”
on pg. 334.
Unlock Vyra
Odidae on
pg. 218.
THE FLOOR OF SAL’S STATION WAGON #
157
The bed of Sal’s dilapidated station wagon is a treasure trove of sensory experiences.
a shelves
Crumpled cans of both the energy-boosting and alcoholic variety act as the van’s very
own aluminum carpet, crunching with each of his passenger’s steps. Smaller trinkets
can be spotted too, if one is up for playing I, Spy: discarded guitar picks and broken
strings, an empty harmonica case, a tattered notebook bound in red twine, the har-
monica in question.
Dozens of local show flyers poke their way through the sea of metal. Most of the
sheets of cheap printer paper have eroded over time, marring the already barely
legible font of band names. One flier can still be read clearly though, kept pristine at
the farthest reach of the dashboard and away from years of foot traffic—‘Wormstonk
19xx’?
Smoke Break
A young Sal looked out across the overgrown front lawn of the dilapidated Bed &
Breakfast, his cigarette warm in his hand. He heard the screen door open and close
again. “Hey Yazeba.”
Yazeba leaned against the wood. “Good afternoon, my apprenti—ahem. Sal.” She held
out one hand, and he passed her the box with the lighter. She cupped her hand around
the cigarette, sparked the lighter, and took a deep drag. When she exhaled, it felt like
her soul left her body along with the smoke. “I didn’t mean to lose my temper earlier.”
Sal steeled his eyes staring at the treeline, and adjusted his binder. “It’s okay. You’re
right, Vyra has been distracting me from my studies. It’s hard to focus on witchcraft
when you have a girlfriend.”
“So are you still—”
“I meant it when I said I don’t want to be your apprentice anymore.”
Yazeba breathed in and out. “Well. That’s a shame. I suppose you’ll be off to wizard
school, then.”
Sal shook his head. “No, I don’t want to go to college either. I think maybe I’m tired of
magic. I just want to be me. Drive around the country with Vyra and the van for a bit,
try to get top surgery, see what the world has to offer.”
Yazeba ashed her cigarette thoughtfully, sitting in judgment, and finally said, “Good.”
“Good?” Sal repeated.
“You’ve always been too bright to waste your life on magic, anyway. Just… know you’ll
always have a bed here. If you need it.”
Sal laughed, and wiped a tear of relief from his eye. “I’m not gonna be gone for that
long, don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll be here knocking on that door and asking for my job back
before you know it.”
“You won’t have to ask, Sal.” Yazeba looked over at him. He couldn’t remember ever
seeing her smile before.
#
158
shelves a
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎧
Unlock
Chapter 45:
“Snow Day”
on pg. 306.
interests. Draw a picture!
revamps their wardrobe,
according to their new
pronouns, and style
Hey Kid completely
Unlock Chapter
20: “One-of-a-
Kind Meta-
Clone-O-Matic”
on pg. 268.
Facts About Me, and unlock
Xanther Erinyes on pg. 220.
video games. Update their
Hey Kid’s new babysitter
gets them obsessed with
Unlock
one lock on
Chapter 86:
“Back to School”
on pg. 422.
a shelves
forgotten relic, peppered with splinters and charred edges, was handed down from
Yazeba’s own collection. Hey Kid’s vibrant paint choice transformed the suspiciously
burnt piece of furniture anew, and now it houses everything a demon child could
ever need in the middle of the night—crayons, crumpled sketch paper, and even
a secret stash of sweets. Even more special is the hidden rainbow of wadded up
chewing gum stuck on its underside, like softened stalactites forming where no
adult would ever look.
#
160
YAZEBA’S STUDY
A witch’s study is as dangerous as it is mysterious. Among the nazar amulets, oil
shelves a
lamps, and old scarves (with constellations both known and unknown) sits a dusty
typewriter and a fancy ceramic ashtray, its pattern smudged by countless cigars.
A few stickers from Hey Kid’s stealthy unsupervised forays into the study can be
found on the spotlessly polished desk. (Amelie does not hold Yazeba in fear, and
Yazeba perhaps trusts them not to fuss with anything they shouldn’t. In any case, the
robot knows better than to touch any of the charts and diagrams on the walls when
cleaning.)
Yazeba spends more time in this dimly lit study than anywhere in the Bed &
Breakfast, evidenced by the well-worn grooves where her wooden chair scrapes
across the old hardwood floors, and little shiny spots on the desk where she habit-
ually taps her fingers. When the chair sits empty, on those occasions that Yazeba
sees fit to grace the rest of the B&B with her company, the desk waits, lonely, for its
mistress’s return.
⎧
Unlock Chapter 90: “The
⎨
⎩
#
161
a shelves
Unlock Unlock
Merv Larkin, Agate
Freelance Aventurine
Librarian on pg. 182.
on pg. 207.
Once we fill these Nooks with Mementos, Unlock
Chapter 15: “The Remodeled Library” on pg. 228,
and we can start filling the rest of the Nooks.
⎩
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎧
⎨
⎧
Unlock
Silkwhisper
on pg. 214.
#
162
shelves a
Unlock
Chapter
37: “Our Little
Island” on
pg. 310.
Unlock
Chapter 63:
“Lost in the
Corn Maze” Unlock
on pg. 246. the Shelf
“The Attic
Observatory”
on pg. 168.
Unlock
Chapter 62:
“The Perfect
Pumpkin”
on pg. 252.
⎧
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎩
a shelves
Unlock
Chapter 42:
“Moon Prince
Gets A Job” on
pg. 330.
THE BACKYARD
Behind the Bed and Breakfast lies a comfortable jumble of porch, patio, lawn,
gardens, tall grass, and various outbuildings, all enclosed in a private hollow in the
haunted woods. It has space to run and jump and kick a ball and drink iced tea. The
forest swallows enough noise that even a real ruckus gets muffled enough not to
disturb anyone asleep in their rooms.
Perhaps most importantly, there are so many places for a growing child—or perhaps
a secretive witch—to hide their treasures: in the gnarled old stump, under the patio,
inside the piping of the porch swing, beneath loose stones, and down a dozen holes
the Rabbits have abandoned.
#
164
THE GARDEN
TOOLSHED
shelves a
a shelves
The Gift Shoppe
There was a new door in the lobby, next to the old brick fireplace.
It wasn’t all that unusual, in the Bed & Breakfast, to discover a door where
there’d previously been none. In fact, Gertrude had already gotten used to how
the hallways warped around her, and how counting floors going up and down
the stairs yielded an inconsistent number. But the new door was different,
polished glass, with a hanging sign that proclaimed “GIFT SHOPPE.”
She spent the entire day pointedly ignoring it, looking at it sidelong as she
passed by for meals and chores, and abandoning her usual reading corner in
the lobby. But as always, Gertrude’s curiosity won out over her worry. As the
last light of day gleamed in the windows, she took a deep breath and pushed
her way inside. A fairy chime tinkled as she entered.
It was an oddly-shaped room, wrapped around the lobby in a way that defied
logic, and absolutely crammed full of knick knacks, gewgaws, t-shirts, and
treasures. Immediately she spied an “I ♥ VEILRIDGE” t-shirt; a mug shaped like
the Bed & Breakfast itself; a baseball cap advertising the Ibbotson Patch. On
one table a clockwork ballerina spun atop a tiny music box surrounded by their
sleeping siblings, and one wall displayed a dozen framed vintage movie posters
showing a beautiful gorgon posing in a revealing gown, all of them signed.
“May I help you find something?” Monday asked. They had appeared as if
from nowhere, with dust swirling around their wings in the fading sunlight. “I
was just about to close up shop, but of course I can always make time for you.”
Gertrude trailed a finger along a dusty postcard on a rack. It had a year on
it, but nearly a decade out of date.
“Has the Bed & Breakfast had a gift shop this whole time?” she asked. “Why
have I never noticed it before?”
“Well, my dear,” Monday bobbed, a gentle, sorry smile on their face, “You’ve
never had any money.”
Once we fill these Nooks with Mementos, we can restore the
#
166 basketball court enough to shoot some hoops. Unlock Bud Woodruff
on pg. 188, and we can start filling the rest of the Nooks.
shelves a
⎩
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎧
The bus stop
is becoming a
teen hotspot.
Unlock The
Ghoul Gang
on pg. 198.
The bus
starts running
again. Unlock
32 Maple Lane
on pg. 223.
a shelves
shelter with ivy growing up its plastic siding, obscuring a faded advertisement for
a realty company. It houses a worn wooden bench, the stubs of a dozen melted
candles, and less graffiti than you’d expect. A grass doll charm hangs from the roof
by twine.
Back when the county bus service still ran through this part of town, it was
common for local kids to clamber over the torn chain-link fence behind it and play
on the basketball court, although now only one hoop is left standing and a tangle of
growth has broken through the asphalt. The air here is still and quiet; an excellent
place to sit and think, or to hide your treasures.
We can put more Circle Mementos here to welcome a wayward Guest back to the
Bed & Breakfast.
We can salvage
most of an above-
ground pool from
the junk behind
the bus stop!
Unlock Lucille
McRoss on pg. 204.
#
shelves a
168
The Moon Prince decorates the Once we fill these Nooks with Mementos,
Attic to make it feel like their own. Unlock Bremb on pg. 187, and we can
Draw a picture and attach it to their
Character Sheet as a Keepsake! start filling the rest of the Nooks.
⎩
⎨
⎧
Unlock
on pg. 318.
“Stargazing”
Chapter 50:
pg. 302.
Unlock
Mirror” on
Chapter 67:
“The Rusalka’s
one of
Unlock
on pg. 422.
the locks on
Chapter 86:
“Back To School”
Unlock
Nimbus
on pg. 210.
Shadowside
Unlock
“Earthsick”
on pg. 292.
Chapter 32:
#
THE ATTIC OBSERVATORY 169
a shelves
Somehow, against all logic, every view of the Bed & Breakfast’s skyline is visible
through the domed window of the observatory. Regardless of your positioning,
there are no blindspots in this lofty tower. The stars above are as visible and close
as the palm of your own hand. The moon begins to rear its head for the evening, in
direct opposition to its setting twin; and you view them both simultaneously. While
staring out through the glass at the many constellations up above, it’s easy to forget
that you’re tethered to this planet, yourself—or that its rules apply to you.
This shelf is locked, but if a visitor from the night sky ever adopts the
attic as their hideout, we can start filling out the Nooks below.
#
170
shelves a
⎩
⎨
⎧ Unlock
Chapter 72:
“The Debutante
Ball” on pg.
338.
Unlock
Chapter 31:
“All Hallow’s
Eve” on pg.
326.
a shelves
longed to leave behind. Some she had no choice but to carry with her, but others
were willingly archived. Her backpack did well to store the latter of these memories—
like the scrunchie she swore to finally wear once her hair got long enough, or the
half-empty bottle of perfume she’d plucked from a relative’s bedroom before making
her grand escape. There was even a crochet hacky sack settled at the very bottom
of the bag, punctured and missing half of its beans. Gertrude didn’t look at these
treasures often, but it was a comfort to know they were there if she needed them.
#
172 GERTRUDE’S BOOKCASE
shelves a
The empty room was finely appointed in pastels and earth tones, with a warm wooden
floor and a bed piled high with soft fabric and throw pillows, no two the same. It had a
wardrobe and a vanity (though the mirror was missing?), but the most arresting fur-
nishing by far was the polished floor-to-ceiling bookcase, carved with a vine and leaf
pattern that bore engraved masks like fruit. There were no books on its shelves…yet.
“Wow,” Gertrude said, crouching to hold the dustpan while Amelie swept. “Whoever
this suite is for, I hope I get to meet her.”
This shelf is locked, but if Gertrude ever gets her own room at the Bed &
Breakfast, we can start filling out the Nooks with Mementos.
173
a shelves
#
pg. 422.
hormones, if
Yazeba gets
she wants.
Gertrude
access to
⎧
⎨
⎩
to her Character Sheet as a Keepsake!
favorite book. Draw a picture & attach it
Gertrude finds, steals, or is gifted a new for Gertrude” on pg. 364.
Unlock Chapter 1: “Another Birthday
#
174
BY THE GATE IN THE
OLD STONE WALL
shelves a
The fields and forests of Veilridge are criss-crossed by uncounted stone “walls,”
mounds of loose rock a few feet tall that once marked the property lines of farms,
but now meander in and out of the undergrowth and even the earth itself, vanishing
for a stretch of hill only to reemerge a dozen yards later. Some of the walls, like
Yazeba’s, still mark a boundary…not between farms, but between realms.
The gate is taller and sturdier than the wall itself, though no less old; its hinges are
the most modern replacement, and even they’re venerable with rust. Yazeba some-
times festoons the arch’s keystone with dried flowers, chimes, or other markers (the
purposes of which are known only to her), but there are plenty of gaps in the stone-
work and along the wall for other ornaments and offerings.
#
175
a shelves
Once we fill these Nooks with Mementos,
Unlock The Stag Of The Great Hunt on pg. 215,
and we can start filling the rest of the Nooks.
⎩
⎪
⎨
⎪
⎧
apter 95: Unlock
Unlock C” hon pg. 388. Guttersnipe
“Bonfire on pg. 200.
⎧
⎨
⎩
Unlock
Arariel on
pg. 185.
Unlock The
Mudpuppy
Family on
pg. 209.
Unlock The
Esteemed
Polly Nator
on pg. 212.
{
Locked
Characters
Crash landing
Moon Prince’s Arrival
I’m almost free. That’s what the runaway kept muttering to themself, a mantra
that made the cold hum of the royal sports-ship they’d hijacked seem more
encouraging. They glanced in the mirror out the rear deflector field, and
watched the silvery crescent of their home getting smaller and smaller in their
solar wake.
A flowing voice, smooth as quicksilver, floated from the intercom. “There you
are, darling!”
The runaway gulped. She only ever called them darling when she was angry.
“Come back to the palace, and we can forget this ever happened.”
They were frightened, and their fear demanded that they say “yes, mother,”
and to go back to the cold, blue court and be a perfect, obedient royal child.
But they reached over and turned the communicator off, and stared straight
ahead at the growing blue dot.
Misery moves slowly. Years can pass by in a cold, slow fog. Other things,
things like planets you’re barreling toward in a spacecraft you can barely fly,
move very, very fast.
The next thing the runaway knew, they were lying in the smoldering wreckage
of a crashed spaceship, surrounded by flaming chunks of metal and coated in
a thick layer of ash. And there was a girl looking down at them through a simple
mask.
“Uhhh…” she said, “Did you just fall from the sky? Are you okay?”
The runaway nodded groggily, and the girl planted her stocky legs and helped
heave them through the escape hatch, standing them on soft soil where their
feet felt heavier than they’d imagined. They would soon learn that the girl’s
name was Gertrude, and the two of them would become as dear of friends as
anyone could be.
They leaned on her, and she peered up incredulously at their crown. “Are
you some kind of prince?”
The question made them laugh. “Yes,” said the Moon Prince.
At the top of the field all manner of strange and beautiful people poured out
of a building unlike anything the Moon Prince had ever seen. It was run-down
and disorderly, and even from here they could tell the paint was peeling. It was
the sort of place the queen would never have permitted to exist on the moon.
According to every single rule the Moon Prince had spent their life internalizing,
it was an ugly building, full of ugly people, in the midst of an ugly world.
As the Moon Prince looked out at wonders in every direction, at the rich
bright colors that saturated their new planet of residence: the striking green of
the trees, the brilliant pinks and golds of a sunset warped by a deep blue sky.
They felt their heart thrumming too fast in their chest, and managed to sigh
just one thing right before they fell face-first into the grass:
“I made it.”
And that is the story of how the Moon Prince came to live in the uppermost
attic (by the old telescope) at Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast.
#
Moon Prin
e ce
180
h
locked chaRacters a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Share a bit of knowledge that people U Try way too hard to make someone
didn’t know I know. else like me.
! Utilize my princely diplomacy and grace. U Embarrass myself with my
! Keep myself or someone else safe—even own enthusiasm.
if it’s against the rules. U Mess up something I thought I
! Question or examine something could handle.
Earthlings take for granted. U Forget about Earth money.
! Make myself useful. U Forget about Earth gravity.
Hi there! I’m new here (again, so sorry about the crater!), but I’m sure we’re going to be fast
STRANGER on a BLUE PLANET
friends. I had a lot of friends on the moon, but I didn’t fit in that well, if that makes sense?
But Earth will be better! I’ll check these off as they happen:
O I made an Earthling friend! (______)
O I observed a strange new Earthling ritual that I still don’t understand.
O I realized how little I really know about life outside of the Lunar Palace.
O I observed a strange new Earthling ritual, and explained why it’s so exciting!
O I successfully pretended to be an ordinary, non-royal Earthling.
O I told someone about what I miss most about the Moon.
Once all of these are checked off, I’ll replace this Journey with “Double Gravity.”
#
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locked chaRacters a
Agate Aventurine
An ancient troll of the old mountains, who
you refer to using your own pronouns
PICK ME IF: A slow and steady presence is needed, a
kindness must be done, Yazeba needs a friend.
a locked chaRacters
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Listen to all the little things in the world. U Anchor myself in the dirt.
! Love someone else, no matter the U Lose track of time.
circumstances. U Move very, very slowly.
! Shelter someone beneath my shade. U Perform an act of true magic (which only
! Sing the old troll-song, and remind the serves to make things worse).
rocks how to sing it, too.
I have no Journey. Whenever I have leftovers after a Chapter, I can name them and transform
them into tiny spirits of the stones, waters, roots, or bones, drawing a picture of each on a
scrap piece of paper. At the end of each Chapter I’m in, I can decide to leave. If I do, I’ll write a
goodbye letter to Yazeba with anything I want to tell her (and instructions on how to contact
me), paperclip it to her character sheet, and leave the Bed & Breakfast. She can invite me back
whenever she’d like, by following the instructions in my letter.
# A headless biker butch who uses
184
Alex she/her or he/him pronouns
locked chaRacters a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Hold my head up high. U Deliver some bad news.
! Rev my engine and get someone where U Act aloof and disconnected.
they need to go. U Lose my head and freak out.
! Show everyone how to do a cool trick. U Ride off into the night on mysterious
! Spark a flame in the darkness. business.
At the end of each Chapter I’m in, you can draw a tattoo on my
MY JOURNEY
a locked chaRacters
of the Earth wielding three flaming swords, who
uses only a name and no pronouns
PICK ME IF: the nearby waters are
cleansed by daily rains, a celestial
advisor would be appreciated, you are
feeling as old as you are overwhelmed.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Provide comfort to those who seek it. U Instruct others not to be afraid, in the
! Sift through all possible futures to see scariest possible way.
what others need to see. U Give useless and vague advice cloaked in
! Feel confident enough in my aid or incomprehensible metaphors.
advice to supply it, unprompted. U Shapeshift to a vaguely human form to
! Blaze and spin. avoid unnerving someone.
U Become overwhelmed by the overload of
visual information my 1818 eyes give me.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Pounce on something I deserve. U Play with my prey.
! Go wherever I please. U Get into something I really shouldn’t.
! Show them I am not to be trifled with. U Be thwarted by a lack of thumbs.
! Curl up around someone and purr. U Swish my tail and squint my eyes.
a locked chaRacters
PICK ME IF: The sky is clear and
full of light, you’re fascinated
by Earth culture, there’s a
scientific explanation for this.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Appreciate something that native U Enthusiastically misunderstand an Earth
Earthlings overlook. custom.
! Juggle up to eight things at once. U Latch on to something and refuse to let go.
! Gift someone a piece of convenient U Assume my superior Neptunian science
Neptunian technology. can solve Earth problems.
! Be flexible. U Wriggle my way into something.
T he smell of dry leaves was settling into the corners of the Bed & Breakfast, as well as of little
scurrying things, seeking warm shelter in its foundations. And if your nose was as sharp as mine,
there was the faint—but tantalizing!—scent of gold.
“Ahhhhhh, excuse me,” I ruffled my long, beautiful fur before leaping up to eye level with
him. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Bethsy, the world-famous treasure hunter,
and I have something of a business proposition for you.”
The silly porter shook his head and tried to shoo me off of the front desk, but I
sidestepped him onto the keyboard. Accepting that there was nothing he could do to remove
me, he said, “I told the last cat who came in here: Yazeba has a lot of old junk, but THERE IS NO
TREASURE.”
I trilled a little tut-tut and licked a paw, idly. “Just because you haven’t found it? Doesn’t
mean that I won’t. I’ll give you a 10% cut if you’ll tag along and hold my tools…open doors…”
“I’m working right now,” Sal groused. He didn’t look busy. “Wait. Tools?”
“We’ll split it 80-20, then.”
THE MAP
Whenever I check a room, follow its instructions and cross it off. Once all the rooms have
been investigated and all the clues found, I can discover the true location of the treasure.
X
Once every other location has been ruled out, I’ll finally discover the true nature of the
treasure. I’ll answer these questions myself, or ask them of the group based on what we’ve
learned from our escapades:
+ Is there actually treasure in the Bed & Breakfast?
+ Where was that treasure to be found?
+ What was the real treasure that I found along the way?
At this point, the Bed & Breakfast gets a Treasure Chest, and I’ll choose a New Journey.
#
188
Bud An alraune bro, who uses they/
locked chaRacters a
Woodruff
them and he/him pronouns
PICK ME IF: The vibe is chill
as hell, it’s time for some sick
stunts, my bros need me.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Solve a problem with athleticism U Act too tough or play too rough.
and enthusiasm. U Take a foolish physical risk and face the
! Know the answer to a question, consequences.
surprising everyone. U Fundamentally misunderstand what’s
! Tell someone how much I respect them, going on.
and why. U Chug some sports drinks, brewskis,
! Blossom. or blood.
a locked chaRacters
Princess
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Move through the world with grace U Be surprised by hardships I was
and dignity. sheltered from.
! Illuminate something hidden. U Melt for someone.
! Warm someone with my presence. U Seek shelter from wind, water,
! Blaze with the power of my convictions. or rejection.
U Flicker out, becoming stiff and cold.
I tend to latch onto people who’re going through something tough. Give the object of my
MY JOURNEY
attention (Gertrude, when you meet me) all of my leftovers at the end of each Chapter.
Whenever the object of my attention changes Journeys, I may pick a new person to fixate
on—cross out my old friend’s name in my “Pick Me If” section and write them in instead.
When that section becomes too messy, give me a Spare Journey and I’ll give the Bed &
Breakfast a Scented Candle.
#
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locked chaRacters a
Crookneck the
Pumpkin Boy
Crookneck the Pumpkin Boy sat at the very top of the hill overlooking the
cornfields. It was a crisp autumn day on this particular September 15th, and
the accursed scarecrow watched the stretch of farmland below happily with his
hollowed eyes. An intricate pathway had been cut through the husks and leaves
to form a new corn maze! Just below his perch, Crookneck could hear the
muffle of others’ giggles and hushed conversations, unaware of the innocent
eavesdropper above. The closer the travelers got, the more Crookneck
began to excitedly pogo in place. Though he wasn’t able to verbally join them,
there were other ways of communicating—some much more endearing than
talking, anyway.
“This way, c’mon!” Hey Kid squealed, their bottomless well of energy
careening them towards yet another dead-end. Gertrude lagged further
behind, her newfound cynicism coming through after several failed attempts
to find the true exit path.
“You said that last time,” the teen droned pitifully, already anticipating the
blisters forming on her heels. Hey Kid jetted off regardless, yelling about how
they were “sure of it” this time. Alas, the pair was met with another wall of maze,
frustrated snarls and exhausted sighs leaving them both in tandem. Before Hey
Kid could decide whether to take off through the brush regardless, they were
stopped by a rustling behind them. Gertrude turned in horror, instinctively
bracing herself in front of the younger demon at her side. But what burst forth
from the mass of corn was none other than the reanimated, bouncing pumpkin
boy himself!
They followed Crookneck’s confident hops, chasing him toward the end of
the maze and laughing in relief all the way.
#
Crookneck the A silent scarecrow on a stick 191
Pumpkin Boy
a locked chaRacters
who uses he/him pronouns
PICK ME IF: Everyone’s outside,
people are having fun, you want
to play someone who doesn’t talk.
I have no journey! Any leftovers I have, I give away to other people. Whenever another
guest leaves the Bed & Breakfast, I can give the Bed & Breakfast a spare Jack
O’Lantern and leave with them, returning if and when they do.
#
192
The An exhausted young wizard-
Dabrowski
in-training who uses she/her
locked chaRacters a
At the end of each Chapter fill in an extra segment if my dad and I are
OUR JOURNEY
a locked chaRacters
PICK ME IF: There’s glamour in
the air, there’s pampering to be
had, someone’s a huge fan.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Shine my spotlight on someone else. U Make everyone look at me.
! Stop a problem in its tracks with U Demand luxuries that aren’t available.
a glance. U Make someone feel dull and gray.
! Take someone under my wing. U Lounge and let the little people worry
! Attract solutions just by being present. about…whatever’s going on.
N’Dog
A cerberus puppy from the depths
of hell, who uses any pronouns
PICK US IF: Hey Kid needs a pet,
you want to roll around in the mud,
you don’t feel like talking right now.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Fetch something important. U Tear up the surroundings.
! Snuggle up to someone and U Assume someone is playing a game.
comfort them. U Whine and growl for attention.
! Stare with our big puppy dog eyes. U Bark loudly to scare away nothing at all.
! Bark loudly to scare away dangers.
We don’t have a journey. Any leftovers we get, we give to Hey Kid (or whoever is
actually taking care of us, if Hey Kid isn’t). If Hey Kid ever gets sick of us, we can
choose someone new to adopt us. If we do, the Bed & Breakfast gets a Chewed-Up
Toy and we get a Spare Journey.
#
195
Dr. Domizio An elderly tinkerer with a
a locked chaRacters
love for robotics, who uses
they/them pronouns
PICK ME IF: Amelie (or another
machine) needs repairs, my toys can
help, I can work on my projects.
The first time my track fills up, erase it all and draw a picture of a new toy on a piece of
paper and paperclip it to my sheet. Every subsequent time my track fills up, choose one
from below to add to the paper:
O Two Bingos
MY JOURNEY
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Choose common sense over misery. U Choose misery over common sense.
! Help someone find catharsis for their pain. U Romanticize someone’s suffering.
! Heave a heavy sigh before getting to work. U Fail a physical task with my soft
! Convince or bribe my spectres to give me scholar’s hands.
a hand. U Watch in horror as the spectres that
haunt me cause needless destruction.
a locked chaRacters
Boletus uses they/them pronouns
PICK ME IF: It’s dark and wet, you’d
rather make baby noises than talk,
there’s activity in the kitchen.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Solve a problem by swallowing it. U Put the wrong thing in my mouth.
! Latch on to someone older. U Wriggle away.
! Silently execute a complex caper. U Toddle slowly towards disaster.
! Coo, sigh, or yawn. U Let out a fungal cry of distress.
Whenever my track fills up, erase it, then cross out my height and double
MY JOURNEY
it. If you decide I’ve gotten too big to live in the pantry, I’ll give the Bed &
Breakfast a Baby Mushroom, and move into my own room (change my
Facts About Me to reflect it!) If you ever decide I’ve gotten too big to fit in
the Bed & Breakfast, I’ll give it a Golden Chanterelle and go live in the
forest, where I’ll stay except for special occasions or big parties.
#
198
The Ghoul
locked chaRacters a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Back someone up, through thick and thin. U Loom menacingly.
! Show how to be one of the cool kids. U Make someone feel weaker than us.
! Get our hands on something we U Destroy some property.
shouldn’t be able to get. U Jeer and mock.
! Joke and banter.
Every time our Track fills up, we’ll erase it all, cross off one of
our Whoopsies, and replace it with one of the ones below:
O Trip over something and land in a pile.
OUR JOURNEY
a locked chaRacters
McFran
crow in the garden’s toolshed,
who uses any pronouns
PICK ME IF: Everyone’s out in the
woods, some adult supervision
is required, another employee of
the Bed & Breakfast is needed.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Spot some treasure which everyone else U Grumble and groan.
assumed was junk. U Repeat a sentence in a mocking
! Put aside my gruff mask and be kind tone of voice.
to someone. U Rat someone else out.
! Teach a very useful life skill. U Push everyone else away.
! Offer up a weird snack.
JOURNEY
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Offer to show someone the path forward U Offer to show someone the path forward
(and lead them there). (and lead them astray).
! Shine light on something everyone else U Make the helpful appear threatening, and
missed. vice versa, under the glow of my light.
! Float over to somewhere hard to get to. U Play a mean-spirited prank and act all
! Flicker and blink supportively. innocent about it.
U Flicker and blink enigmatically.
a locked chaRacters
Hiccup A delicate wind-up dancer
who uses any pronouns
PICK ME IF: Precision is called
for, it’s a cultural event, you’re
in need of some repair.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Operate with inhuman grace and U Get wound up too tight and lose control.
dexterity. U Perform pomp and circumstance.
! Repeat a task until it is done. U Keep failing at the same thing in the
! Twirl. same way.
! Don’t break. U Snap.
give away or spend goes into my track. When it fills up, one of my
irreplaceably complicated parts breaks: erase it and cross out one of
my Bingos. When all of my Bingos have been crossed out, I’ll have
to find a new way to dance: give me a spare Journey and four new
Bingos. I’ll gift the Bed & Breakfast a Ballet Record.
#
202
Ichor
locked chaRacters a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Bite someone who poses me harm. U Bite someone who means me well.
! Find a safe path through the chaos. U Climb behind the wall and hide.
! Shift my form into something useful for U Suddenly transform into something
the matter at hand. monstrous.
! Be kind. U Snivel and mock.
MY JOURNEY
a locked chaRacters
uses she/her or they/them pronouns
Quicksilver
Dabrowski
PICK ME IF: Matters of the magical are
relevant, someone with a calm head is
needed, there’s research to be done!
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Propose an idea based on a book I’ve U Try to apply rules to a situation that
read or a topic I’ve studied. doesn’t need them.
! Come up with a quick solution to a U Focus on my thesis above all else.
sticky problem. U One-up someone else without thinking
! Relax and have a little bit of fun. about it.
! Work through something step-by-step U Take myself way, way too seriously.
and logically.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Transform into an agile seal, or back into U Assume authority that no one gave me.
a hot lady. U Spoil the fun with safety concerns.
! Let down my guard with someone. U Get territorial and aggressive.
! Blow my whistle to command attention. U Brood behind my sunglasses and sip my
! Save a life…or patch up a minor injury. big iced tea.
If someone gets a hold of my seal skin while I’m in human form, I’ll be helplessly
bound to them—so I never let anybody get close enough. But it can be hard,
keeping everyone at arm’s length, especially when I’ve left all my siblings behind.
MY JOURNEY
When I start a Chapter and my Track is full, I’m feeling lonely—tinge my Bingos
and Whoopsies with heartache. At the end of the Chapter, if I managed to let
down my guard and let someone get close, put a note about them in my Facts
About Me, and replace this Journey with a Spare Journey. Otherwise, I’ll give the
Bed & Breakfast a Pool Toy, and leave town (and the Bed & Breakfast) to visit
my family in the sea. I can return next summer.
Max Levy p A stressed-out retail worker
with ze/zem pronouns and the
Little Smiling
#
ghost ze found in a VHS tape 205
Suzy
with she/her pronouns
a locked chaRacters
PICK US IF: Things are a little haunted,
you want to explore two characters
and their dynamics, there’s some good
activities for a young girl to get up to.
Whenever this Track fills up, Max writes down something new ze has
learned about Little Smiling Suzy’s behavior in one of these slots:
O Suzy makes lightbulbs explode when she’s overstimulated.
O
OUR JOURNEY
O
O
O
Once Max has run out of space, ze will choose—does ze want to stay at the Bed & Breakfast? If ze does,
the Bed & Breakfast gets a VHS, and chooses a Spare Journey. If ze would rather go out into the world
and find a home for Suzie, the Bed & Breakfast gets a Television, and Max Levy & Little Smiling Suzie
leave the Bed & Breakfast. They can come back any time the concierge has a supernatural experience,
with all slots erased.
CHAPTER 3000
The AMEL-3000
z With Amelie, their double, p Yazeba, only
In which a robot for which Amelie was the
prototype visits the Bed & Breakfast.
SEEING DOUBLE
The Bed & Breakfast is Amelie’s domain. Amelie starts this chapter with 5 additional tokens,
and the AMEL-3000 starts with 3 additional tokens. Amelie and the AMEL-3000 divide
up the laundry chores by briefly discussing whether they’d like to soak, fold, hang, or iron.
Yazeba has been requested to supervise so that the AMEL-3000 may complete its customer
satisfaction survey; she may choose to help with the laundry, though she knows better than
to mix magic and housework where the disapproving Amelie can see her. The Amel-3000
has access to the following Bingos:
! Help Amelie out without being prompted.
! Admire something Amelie does or says.
! Experiment with its own code.
And the following Whoopsies:
U Make Amelie feel inferior or inadequate.
U Be overconfident in its superiority.
U Reject the notion of change.
LIKE-MINDED COMPANY
Amelie’s used to finishing basic chores on their own, but it’s nice to have help that is as
precise, efficient, and fastidious as they are. Yazeba, for her part, has never seen someone
match Amelie’s obsessive devotion to meticulous cleanliness so perfectly.
However, despite Amelie being the prototype for what was supposed to be the perfect
service bot, the finished product now stands before themnewer, sleeker, and cleaner. Amelie
chooses one of the questions below, or invents their own:
+ “Am I happy with the way I look and dress now?”
+ “Am I content with how people refer to me?”
+ “Could I be better and do I want to be?”
+ “Does Yazeba seem happy with the work I do, even if I’m not?”
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION
Amel-Corp wants to know what Yazeba thinks of the prototype they sent all those years ago.
While the two robots finish the laundry, Yazeba receives a survey to complete. The AMEL-
3000 may spend tokens to prompt Yazeba to answer the questions.
If Yazeba’s reply is complementary of Amelie, Yazeba receives the token. If Yazeba’s reply
is neutral or negative, she puts the token on the Question, “Can I handle things on my own
from here on out?” Yazeba may choose to spend some time reflecting on Amelie as a person
rather than a product—and share that with the Amel-3000. The questions below are asked
in order:
+ “Would you describe this robot’s housekeeping services as bad, adequate, or good?”
+ “Would you purchase this product again?”
+ “Would you recommend this product to a friend, family member, or coworker?”
+ “Is this robot’s temperament and tone acceptable?”
+ “Do you consider personality chip access a design flaw…or a selling point?”
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Howl up at the moon. U Succumb to my doggy instincts.
! Dig my teeth into something and don’t U Lash out at someone trying their best.
let go. U Lose my temper and snap at someone.
! Listen to the secret truths of the U Howl at the moon.
natural world.
! Stand up for those weaker than myself.
When my Track is complete, I get caught in the light of the morning sun and transform.
MY JOURNEY
a locked chaRacters
Librarian PICK ME IF: There is a rare book to
collect, someone can help organize,
the moon is hidden by the clouds.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Cheer someone else on. U Try and cast a spell from one of my
! Grab hold of something and don’t let go. tomes, only to mess it up.
! Consult a book in order to uncover U Bend backwards to make someone
important information. else happy.
! Show a rare moment of courage. U Correct someone else’s pronunciation.
U Lose my temper and snap at someone.
MY JOURNEY
Muckleby
+ I collect all kinds of things: stamps, coins,
keys, old birds’ nests, single boots, fishing
nets, abandoned cars, bones, and pretty much
A huge glob of grime that anything found at the bottom of a river.
uses she/her pronouns + I tie a pretty red ribbon below my face to
give me a little more definition, but I’m not
PICK ME IF: You feel like making sure if it’s working.
a mess, it’s time to relax outside, + When people see me they expect me to
Amelie isn’t busy enough. smell bad, but I just smell like fresh soil and
petrichor.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Sweep everyone up into my enthusiasm. U Leave behind a trail of filth.
! Change shape to fit what’s going on. U Lose track of my own face.
! Offer something shiny from deep U Engulf something or someone without
inside me. realizing it.
! Be firm. U Feel rejected.
At the end of each Chapter, if I had a wonderful time, spend my leftovers on the
MY JOURNEY
Happy Track. Whenever it fills up, erase it, I’ll write a positive review of the B&B in
the guestbook and give the Bed & Breakfast a Treasure Chest. If I had a
terrible time, spend my leftovers on the Sad Track. When it fills up,
erase it, I’ll write a negative review of the Bed & Breakfast in the
guest book, and leave.
#
209
a locked chaRacters
The Mudpuppy
THREE FUN FACTS ABOUT US:
+ Countless generations of the Mudpuppy
Family family have lived in the Big River, and we
felt it was finally time for us all to get a
A family of mottled newts with vacation.
fanny packs and sunglasses, + Our most treasured possessions are our
who use a variety of pronouns Kodak cameras and their film - perfect for
PICK US IF: The world is showing folks back home!
comfortable and cozy, you need + We have two sets of teeth, but they’re
a group of voices, there’s a not good for much besides chewing on
chance to go somewhere new. bugs.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Adopt someone into our family for the day. U Lose control of the children.
! Make sure everyone has everything U Overwhelm and overflow.
they need. U Close ranks around our own.
! Wiggle our gills. U Chatter endlessly amongst ourselves.
! Poke our heads into other people’s
business.
Whenever our Track fills up, we’ll erase it all and check off a
checkbox below, representing a photo we’ve taken.
O Get a relaxed photo with all our new friends.
OUR JOURNEY
Nimbus
locked chaRacters a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Do a skill with more grace and elegance U Be mean and alienate everyone around me.
than the Moon Prince could ever do. U Get distracted by a petty scheme or
! Point out the Moon Prince’s grievance.
shortcomings. U Act with certain (yet completely
! Use shadow magic to take care of a mess. misplaced) confidence.
! Cackle with maniacal glee. U Abruptly realize things are different on
earth than they are on the moon.
a locked chaRacters
that uses it/its pronouns
PICK THE STONE IF: You don’t feel like
saying much, there’s high adventure on
the horizon, you’re feeling mysterious.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Respond to events as if self-aware. U Hover ominously close to someone.
! Smash through something. U Bump harmlessly off of a door jam, fence
! Whisk someone or something up and or other obstacle.
away. U Remain inert when addressed.
! Unleash an enigmatic power. U Hum at an upsettingly low frequency.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Thoughtfully defuse an argument. U Pontificate haughtily about “the good old
! Cross-pollinate. days.”
! Surprise someone with my gentle U Lose my temper over a breach of etiquette.
friendliness. U Act entitled.
! Wiggle my antennae endearingly. U Buzz menacingly.
MY JOURNEY
When my Track fills up, I give the Bed & Breakfast a Little Flower, curl up in
a neat little flower and go to sleep, peacefully hibernating.
I will return if and only if the Concierge picks a
wildflower and presses it into the book.
Rowan & A pair of dandy elven bards with #
213
Zephyr
foppish and cosmopolitan tastes,
a locked chaRacters
who both use he/him pronouns
Lyranthiel PICK US IF: You want to put Yazeba’s
rules to the test, some visitors
from the Big City have arrived, or
you’re feeling elitist, conceited,
and/or at least a bit hoity toity.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Give a gorgeous, expensive gift. U Bemoan and bellyache about a minor
! Shower someone with compliments. inconvenience.
! Give someone the makeover they U Quote something completely inaccessible.
deserve. U Realize we’re hopelessly underprepared.
! Set the mood with our piano and/or U Laze around and chat when we should
violin. be moving.
OUR JOURNEY
When our Track fills up, erase it all and ask if we should
really be getting back to the Big City. We can choose
to return to our city life (and give the Bed & Breakfast
a Bottle of Wine as we go), but we can return any time
someone throws a party.
#
214
locked chaRacters a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Guide someone towards light and truth. U Drift, directionless.
! Be utterly charmed by something others U Alienate someone with our silence and
take for granted. enshroudment.
! Cast a subtle illusion. U Chew something up.
! Reveal a glimpse of our face or hand, U Circle closer and closer to danger.
behind the fanning of soft wings.
When our Track fills up, erase it, along with any notes on our
character sheet. Give away any keepsakes we have to other
MY JOURNEY
a locked chaRacters
The Stag of An ancient forest god that
the Great
uses he/him pronouns
Hunt PICK ME IF: A summer moon is full,
the meek need passage from danger,
you’re equally as tired as you are wise.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Call upon the wild, and hear it respond. U Flee into the woods, and later return
! Allow a mortal to touch my fur. ashamed.
! Reveal a path, through bramble and U Smash something apart with my
briar. powerful horns.
! Gallop and prance. U Impart harsh wisdoms of hoof and claw.
U Summon moss.
T. H.E.m.
#
216
locked chaRacters a
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Smash through a door, wall, or other obstacle. U Smash through a ceiling, wall, or other structural
! Give someone a really good hug. feature.
! Pick someone up and put them on my head. U Pick something up and throw it to the horizon line.
! Strike fear in the hearts of those who mean my U Roar so loudly that the ground shakes.
friends harm. U Loom.
a locked chaRacters
The Tomtom A capricious gnome with a big
appetite who uses he/him pronouns
ASK TO PLAY ME IF: Discretion is
advised, trouble is to be caused, there’s
a heavy layer of snow on the ground.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Get invisibly from one place to another. U Trash, steal, or vandalize something as
! Communicate something with no words. part of a “trick.”
! Offer a mysterious blessing with no clear U Gobble up unattended food.
purpose. U Dance and caper to the beat.
! Let someone in on the joke. U Leave a trail of footprints.
JOURNEY
I have no Journey. I turn any leftovers I get into snacks, for myself or anyone else to
MY
munch on. I can leave the Bed & Breakfast whenever I want. When this happens, lock
my sheet—I can only be unlocked if you play Chapter 33: “To Catch A Tomtom” again.
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218
Vyra Odidae
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BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Show my true form out of trust. U Show my true form to scare someone away.
! Delve in deep with someone. U Lure someone into an idea against their
! Listen and hear something no one else better judgment.
could. U Get overwhelmed by too much sensory
! Treat Sal with cordial respect. information.
U Lash out at Sal, or anyone else I blame
for my heartbreak.
Otherwise, spend them on the Maw Track below. If the Lure Track fills all
the way up, replace my Sal-centric Bingo and Whoopsie with new ones and
choose a Spare Journey for me. If the Maw Track fills all the way up
first, erase both of my Tracks and any progress on Sal’s current
Journey. I’ll leave the Bed & Breakfast.
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Wren Snow A jetsetting adventurer who
a locked chaRacters
uses they/them pronouns
PICK ME IF: You can spin a good
yarn, someone needs a hero, there’s
a chance of thrilling action.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Do the impossible with only my wits, U Laugh at my own joke.
grappling hook gun, and bravado. U Regale someone with stories as self-
! Demonstrate mastery over an exciting skill. aggrandizing as they are dubious.
! Bury amazing advice in an anecdote. U Steal someone else’s chance to be the hero.
! Share one of my failings, in hushed tones. U Swagger.
Xanther
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BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Face a challenge with energy and U Fly away from responsibility.
enthusiasm. U Snatch a prize before anyone can blink.
! Let someone else have a turn. U Laugh too loudly at something that
! Use something I learned from a wasn’t a joke.
video game. U Make a huge mess of food, wrappers,
! Share some snacks I brought from home. feathers, or debris.
I’m just trying to make it out of high school without anyone asking me what I’m gonna
MY JOURNEY
do when I grow up. At the end of each Chapter, if I was forced to confront the future,
write down a job I might like to have, and cross out my last job idea. When my Track fills
up, I’ll graduate, and decide whether to pursue the job I’ve written down. If I do, I’ll give
the Bed & Breakfast a Video Entergamement System and leave the B&B. If not…maybe
that’s okay? Give me a Spare Journey and I’ll stick around.
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The THREE FUN FACTS ABOUT US:
Zappamouschi
+ Every member of The Zappamouschi
Circus! is part of one big family! Really,
Circus! though. If you want to run away from home
and join us, you’ll have to (A) get real small
and (B) marry one of us.
An extremely tiny circus, + We were once a family of miniature
the workers of which use criminals, and while our days of robbery and
a variety of pronouns thievery are behind us, we can’t help but slip
into our old habits once in a while.`
PICK US IF: Things are too quiet
+ Some stars of our show include: the
around the B&B, someone could
use some cheering up, the circus triplet-fools Zo, Ze, and Za; the beautiful
has a performance scheduled. rat-tamer Zyra; the smarmy magicians Zem
& Ziller; and stilt-walking fire-juggler Zab
BINGOS: Zappamouschi. We don’t have a ringmaster
! Dazzle the mind and confound the right now, not after the accident (don’t
senses with incredible displays of worry about that).
miniature athleticism, daring, and
illusion! WHOOPSIES:
! Sneak around and learn something new. U Accidentally show the bigfolk something
! Work together to make a ladder, bridge, unprofessional from backstage.
or swarm with our tiny bodies. U Experience the limitations of our size.
! Make a willing volunteer the star of our U Fumble at a key moment.
show! U Rope some poor rube into our next trick.
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32 Maple Lane A sentient manifestation
of an apartment complex,
who uses xe/xir pronouns
PICK ME IF: There’s music in the
air, a sturdy presence is needed,
everyone wants to just hang out.
BINGOS: WHOOPSIES:
! Carry the weight of something heavy. U Lumber about.
! Give some practical advice. U Smash into a complicated situation.
! Know just the right person to help. U Come off as more hostile than I
! Provide a sturdy foundation. intended.
U Get lost in the clouds.
Fill my windows like tracks. When the windows on the left fill
up, my player will share a song they think everyone at the table
MY JOURNEY
would like, and the Bed & Breakfast gets a Trombone. When
the windows on the right fill up, my player will recommend an
album that they think everyone at the table would like, and the
Bed & Breakfast gets an Old Vinyl Record. I’ll leave the Bed &
Breakfast, but I can come back when the Concierge moves to a
new home.
Vyra Tells A Story
Just as all of Vyra’s returns back home to the deep sea were, this one was no
different. Many days had been spent away traversing the lands above, and from
her travels came the curiosity of friends and loved ones, eager to know what
all the mermaid had learned from her latest journey.
Vyra hardly had time to wade down into the comfortable murk of darkness
before she was ambushed on all sides by her childhood friends. Each mermaid
was adorned with varying antennae and reef-like skin; their naturally sharpened
smiles growing wide at the reappearance of their old friend.
“What knowledge have you brought back for us, Vyra?” One such creature
prodded excitedly with a swaying fin, the only ones in Vyra’s life permitted to
play lovingly in her coral-adorned hair.
“Nothing, really. The trip was quite uneventful.” Despite the dull tone, Vyra
found herself smiling ever so slightly at the memories gained. She didn’t fashion
telling her friends about Sal just yet — not while their separation was so recent
on her mind. Nor did she want to tell them about the frog-knight. But there was
a piece of gossip, supple and ready to be shared.
“Well… I did learn something.”
“Ooh! More knowledge about the date of the final schism of the universe?”
Another friend, Niviana, spoke up from behind a layer of seaweed and hair.
“No, no, not that.” Vyra waved dismissively with her free hand, noting another
friend had begun to paint the taloned nails on her other hand while she spoke.
“It’s about Yazeba — the witch who owns the Bed & Breakfast. I learned how she
came to be in charge of such a place… though the tale is quite grim.”
The group stilled themselves in the water as the soft current forced them
to bob, waiting with bated breath all the same. Morbid topics did little to deter
their intrigue, and so, Vyra began.
She spoke of Yazeba’s former career as an author, the likes of which allowed
her to start a communal space of love and acceptance for her friends, free
of outside harm and hatred. The tone shifted when Vyra spoke of monsters,
the very kind who sought to rid the world of witches and wizards, destroying
Yazeba’s commune. Monday the fairy was then brought into the story, and
Yazeba’s secret was then unveiled.
“She sold her heart in exchange for a home in the woods, one where the
world could never harm her again…”
Niviana sighed bubbles in relief. “Aah, so it’s a happy ending!”
Her hope faded as Vyra continued on.
“…but because her heart was sold, Yazeba could no longer understand the
love she once felt for her own community. All of her surviving friends had long-
since drifted away, and so, she found herself alone.”
Vyra could see the dismay on her normally detached friends’ faces. Despite
their infamously stoic demeanor, the group’s disenchantment was palpable.
Not wanting to totally spoil the mood, Vyra rushed towards the present.
“Others found her, though. A knight she’d known long before, youths in need
of a home—even Sal stumbled through the doorsteps of the Bed & Breakfast.”
The eye-roll at the mere mention of her ex was all but involuntary, even without
any true disdain in Vyra’s voice. “I suppose that losing her heart could keep
her from showing love, but it couldn’t stop those who decided to show it to her,
anyway.”
A somber silence fell over everyone then, just before the last of Vyra’s friends
piped up curiously. “Vyra, there’s just one thing I still don’t understand…”
the mermaid asked, scaly eyebrows knitted in confusion, “What’s a Bed &
Breakfast?”
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227
Intermediate
Chapters
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The Remodeled29
CHAPTER
228
Library
z Yazeba p anyone who can read
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early, her muscles stiff from where the cold had crept in under her too-short
blanket, and was wandering the B&B while she waited for Parish to wake up and
make breakfast.
And that’s when she noticed it: the grand double-doors in the back hallway, which
had borne a heavy padlock since long before she’d ever arrived, were ajar. It felt like
trespassing to push them open and step over the threshold, but, whatever you may
believe about Gertrude, it did not stop her.
When she stepped through to the other side, her breath caught in her throat.
For as long as she’d stayed at the Bed & Breakfast, a placard at the front desk had
warned that the library was “Closed For Renovations.” But here it was, unlike any-
thing Gertrude had ever seen before: Yazeba’s library.
It was at least two stories high, taller than it was wide by half, with one enormous
window overlooking a colorful corner of the garden that Gertrude had never no-
ticed from outside. The glass was fogged slightly from the drizzle, but in the thin
morning light she could make out that the window frame, fireplace mantel and shelf-
ends were all carved with ornate tadpoles and caterpillars. The shelves towered
and bowed inward towards the ceiling, giving the sense that, at any moment, gravity
might take notice and bring an avalanche of books crashing down on her head.
Gertrude padded across the lush carpet in her socks, to inspect a standing dis-
play case tucked into the corner. Behind the locked glass were two volumes: a flop-
py paperback that bore the name The Young Witch’s Sensible Guide To True Names,
and a sleeveless blue hardcover named The Love Of Magic. Each of them sat in the
center of a luminous circle, warded with tangled runes. Trying to read the author’s
name on either tome hurt her eyes, which slid off the byline without gleaning even
a single letter.
“Ahem.” Yazeba’s cough was unmistakable, and Gertrude spun around to face the
door, still blinking away the spots in her vision from the spell-trapped names.
“Yazeba! I—” she began, hands caught in the proverbial cookie jar, but Yazeba
interrupted her.
“I was saving it as a surprise, but I suppose this is just as well,” the witch crooned,
testiness and amusement warring in her voice, “The library is ready to reopen. Now…
run along and let the guests know they’re free to come browse.”
Gertrude nodded and slipped past her, eager to make up for breaking her host’s
rule against snooping. Unbidden, Yazeba’s mouth quirked around her morning ciga-
rette into a half-smile as she watched the teen scarper off. Try though she might, she
struggled to crease it back into a scowl.
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RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
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During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
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has access to the following Whoopsies:
U Accidentally rip an ancient page.
U Startle a flock of books, which fly into the upper shelves and take turns dive-
bombing you.
U Fall into another world through the power of imagination.
U Feign interest in something boring because it would make you seem smart and
cool.
U Learn a terrible truth about the fundamental nature of the universe.
U Ask Yazeba about the books in the locked display case.
A HOARDER OF KNOWLEDGE
If we’ve played this Chapter before, the Concierge gives Yazeba takes all of the cards from
previously cataloged books. She may recommend them as the others browse, if she likes.
While she’s in the library, Yazeba has these extra Bingos:
! Begrudgingly suggest a title someone really ought to read.
! Cautiously allow someone to borrow something special from the library.
And these extra Whoopsies:
U Snap at someone for mishandling the books.
U Disparage someone’s choice of reading material.
Yazeba begins the chapter with two tokens. If she ever has zero tokens remaining, her
benevolence runs out, and she declares the library closed to guests—end the Chapter and
Lock it. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Keep Out Sign. Throw any leftover tokens in the
trash.
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27
CHAPTER
Snickerberry Season
z the Moon Prince, Hey Kid, p anyone
with a hankerin’ for berries
In which the Moon Prince goes berry picking for the first
time, and discovers that Earth can be a thorny place.
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I
t would take a long time before the Moon Prince would acclimate to the bright
sun, the cloud-dappled sky, and the sight of the color green. Of all of this
world’s little mysteries, none had captivated them quite so much as the little
pile of red fruit, wrapped in a towel and sitting in a strainer on the kitchen sink.
“What are those?” they pondered, to no one in particular.
“Are you from another planet? How have you never heard of snickerberries?” Hey
Kid emerged from a nearby cabinet with an oversized ladle hanging from one horn
and twin expressions of excitement and mock dismay.
“No! The moon isn’t a planet. Wait, how did you get in there?” Moon Prince stam-
mered out, but it was too late, and Hey Kid was already dragging them deep into the
tangled bushes with a wicker basket on each arm.
“Snickerberries are the biggest, ripest, sweetest, reddest fruit you’ll ever find
anywhere, and whoever fills the most baskets gets the biggest slice of Parish’s snick-
erberry pie.” Hey Kid described this tradition with a very serious voice.
“So it’s …it’s a competition, then?” Moon Prince glanced around at the prick-
ly bushes, and the astonishing bursts of red peeking through their impossible
green tangles.
Hey Kid’s spiky teeth stretched from one end of their face to the other, and for a
brief moment the Moon Prince could see a furious orange flame in their eyes. “Yes,
and you’re already losing.”
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234
THE LAWS OF BERRY BUMBLING
Before this Chapter starts, put down five index cards: “Closest Bush,” “Muddy Bush,” “Bird’s
intermediate cHapters a
Nest Bush,” “Bush With Broken Glass,” and “Bush That Sort Of Looks Like Yazeba.” Put
five Berry Coins on each card. Whenever anyone wants to take a Berry Coin from a Berry
Bush of their choice, they’ll consult all the Berry Coins they already have.
If they don’t have any Berry Coins, they succeed right
away, and take a Berry Coin from the Berry Bush.
If they do have some Berry Coins, they flip all of
them at once, and if all the coins come
up heads, they succeed! Otherwise,
they must do a Whoopsie about it,
and consult the rules for the bush they
picked from. Either way, they take
another Chaos Coin.
Don’t get distracted, or the others
might poach your berries! Whenever
you do a Bingo, the first player to say
“Dibs!” can snatch them. In this Chapter, we only do Bingos by accident.
SNARLS OF GREEN
+ If you do a Whoopsie at the Closest Bush, don’t sweat it!
+ If you do a Whoopsie at the Muddy Bush, soil your outfit. Stop collecting berries
until you do a Bingo and go change.
+ If you do a Whoopsie at the Bird’s Nest Bush, get chased by grackles. There’s no
way you can collect any more berries until you do a Bingo that gets rid of them.
+ If you do a Whoopsie at the Bush With Broken Glass, get a cut. You must do a
Bingo and seek medical attention before picking more berries.
+ If you do a Whoopsie at the Bush That Sort Of Looks Like Yazeba, you are also
mesmerized by the bush. You cannot continue picking berries until you do a
Bingo and bring it something it wants—tea, a cigarette, an old fur coat, etc.
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They have their own checklist that they’re trying to accomplish:
O Do a Whoopsie at the Muddy Bush.
O Do a Whoopsie at the Bird’s Nest Bush.
O Do a Whoopsie at the Bush With Broken Glass.
O Do a Whoopsie at the Bush That Sort Of Looks Like Yazeba.
O Do a Bingo and describe how blue the sky is.
O Do a Bingo and describe how red the berries are.
O Do a Bingo and describe the colors of the flowers.
At the end of this Chapter, during Housekeeping, the Moon Prince can tick a Track for
every two checkboxes checked.
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S
al leaned forward to wipe condensation off of the windshield, and as his van
crested the hill, the lights of Veilridge winked out behind it, leaving only the
bright-burning stars overhead— and the cozy glow of one street lamp, illumi-
nating a parking lot. Broken asphalt gave way to patchy grass, the last dandelions of
summer wearing their fluffy seeds like a monk’s tonsure.
His headlights briefly illuminated a sign that depicted a friendly owl sitting
in a convertible.
“A double feature? That’s a pretty good deal.” Yazeba announced, buried in quilts
and heavy pillows in the passenger seat. Sal was surprised she had wanted to come
along—it was rare for her to leave the Bed & Breakfast, let alone on such a frivolous
outing. But she said she liked movies, and Sal wasn’t about to question his teacher
on a matter like this.
My boss, not my teacher. Sal quickly corrected himself in his head. Even though
it had been a decade since he tried to learn magic from her, old habits die hard.
Sal did a quick k-turn so the butt of the van faced the screen, and popped the
trunk open. As he set up the B&B’s movie party, he was struck by the anonymity of
artificial twilight: anyone he knew might be here, but they’d be nothing more than an
indistinct shadow on a distant lawn chair.
The screen floated above all else. Countless white panels (only one of them fallen
away) reflected back the light of the huge projector far in the back. The commercials
started just as Sal plopped onto a cushion and turned on the radio. A half-asleep Hey
Kid curled up next to him with an overpriced slushie.
Yazeba rustled to join him, moving slowly so as not to let anyone hear the tell-
tale crunch of contraband pretzel bags and catfish taffy squirreled away in her
blanket cocoon.
Just as the coming attractions ended, Yazeba opened her mouth and stunned Sal
with a question.
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238
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
intermediate cHapters a
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks
for. These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a
Whoopsie, they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a
Bingo or giving it to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
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from Statuesque and discuss it in hushed voices:
+ Demi’s character struggles at her high-powered business career in the Big City.
+ Sharon’s character’s best friend tells her to lighten up and not to focus so hard on
her art.
+ Demi’s boyfriend disappoints her at a work event.
+ Sharon asks Demi to pose for her sculpture class, and she says yes!
+ A forgettable Top 40 song from last year plays over a montage.
+ Demi accidentally gives Sharon the wrong idea about her relationship status.
+ Sharon confides her feelings to her best friend.
+ Demi freaks out about a misunderstanding.
+ Sharon unveils her sculpture and makes a heartfelt speech even though she doesn’t
know Demi is at the exposition.
+ They kiss.
When Statuesque is over, everyone takes a moment to stretch and refresh themselves
before the second showing. From now on, whenever someone moves a token from
The Big Question, they’ll check off a plot point from Neutron Gal 6: Revenge of the
Laser-Beast, instead:
+ A plucky astrophysicist discovers evidence that the laser-beast is regenerating
on Mercury.
+ A military leader yells at someone because Neutron Gal is “dead” from the last movie.
+ Some painfully obvious product placement for Melonmile Cola.
+ The plucky astrophysicist realizes that Neutron Gal is in hiding, and she was the
beautiful new exchange student at the university!
+ Neutron Gal’s extremely catchy theme song plays while she beats up some Bad Guys.
+ The Laser-Beast awakens and flies towards Earth, the anti-Monster defense
network unable to stop it.
+ A part we all missed because. someone had to go to the bathroom and offered to
get more snacks while they were up.
+ At the climax of the big fight, the Laser-Beast throws the plucky astrophysicist
into the stratosphere, forcing Neutron Gal to choose—rescue her new friend, or
save the Big City!
+ The rest of the Atomic Girls fly out of the Sun and beat up the Laser-Beast while
Neutron Gal flies to the moon and saves the plucky astrophysicist.
+ They kiss.
When both movies have concluded, everyone goes around and tries to answer The Big
Question as best they can. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Popcorn Bag and we’ll try to
answer Yazeba’s Question.
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YAZEBA’S QUESTION
At the start of the Chapter, Yazeba chooses a question from below, asks Sal the question out
intermediate cHapters a
loud, and writes it down on an index card. Don’t put any tokens on it.
+ “Are you happy with the person you’ve become?”
+ “Do you wish you could change the past?”
+ “Who do you want to be?”
+ Something else that Sal isn’t ready to answer.
Sal cannot answer this question now—he has to really think about it. Anyone may put a
token on Yazeba’s Question at any time, and when they do, Sal must verbally acknowledge
it somehow—stammering, wincing, musing aloud, etc.
After answering The Big Question, everyone (but Yazeba) goes around and says the
answer they think fits best for their character—or for Sal, on his behalf. Finally, Sal can
choose: either answer it aloud, or keep his answer to himself. Either way, he writes it down
on the card and paperclips it to his Character Sheet as a Keepsake. Then, follow the instruc-
tions at the end of the Sal's Question section.
SAL’S QUESTION
It’s been more than a decade since Sal tried to learn magic in imitation of Yazeba, and
although it should be just water under the bridge, Sal can’t let go. At the start of the chapter,
Sal chooses a question that he’s wondering about Yazeba, and writes it down on an index
card. He does not say it out loud, nor does he put any tokens on it.
+ “Are you disappointed in me?”
+ “What did you want from me?”
+ “What would you have done, if you were me?”
+ Something else, from Sal’s anxieties.
Anyone may put one of their tokens on this question at any point, and when they do,
Yazeba must nonverbally acknowledge it somehow—coughing, sighing, grumbling, etc.
After Yazeba’s Question has been answered, Sal works up the courage to ask Yazeba the
question he chose.
+ If Yazeba’s question has more tokens than Sal’s: Yazeba replies with a question
of her own, and the chapter ends. Sal hands out any tokens on his question and
everyone keeps any tokens they’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
+ If Sal’s question has more tokens than Yazeba’s: Yazeba answers flippantly and
ambiguously, and the chapter ends. Yazeba hands out any tokens on her question
and everyone keeps any tokens they’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
+ If both questions have the same number of tokens: Yazeba answers honestly from
her heart, and the chapter ends. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Movie Poster,
everyone divvies up the tokens on the questions among themselves, and holds on
to any tokens they’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
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#
A Trip To The30
CHAPTER
#
242
Waterfront
z Parish, Gertrude, p anyone thrifty
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G
ertrude couldn’t tear her eyes away from the dress in the window. It was a
cascade of pinks and silvers and purples and greens, like a seashell wrapped
in peacock feathers. It was decadent and gaudy, exactly the sort of dress a
princess would wear to a trendy club. It was everything Gertrude had ever wanted.
She wondered whether Yazeba would love it, or despise it.
Parish’s voice broke her from her reverie.
“Come along, young Gertrude! We’re just here for groceries,” he croaked.
He was staring intently at a fishmonger’s wares, the glassy eyes of freshly hung
trout staring accusingly over his head at Gertrude. Above, seagulls screeched and
cast shadows from the blazing hot sun. The waterfront was packed with shoppers
and tourists, little kids slobbering on their ice cream cones and sneering teens
lurking under every gazebo. Narrow storefronts hid behind kiosks overflowing with
goods and merchandise brought upriver from the sea.
It was the kind of chaos to which Parish was not accustomed. Foolishly, he’d
thought it would be easy enough to grab some groceries—and perhaps a toy for
Hey Kid—and then hop in Sal’s van and go right back home. And maybe it would’ve
gone that way, with Gertrude forgetting all about the dress…except that, just
as she looked away, she made eye contact with one of those smug teen loiter-
ers, who gave Gertrude a look that made her painfully aware of every hole in her
hand-me-down sweatshirt.
Suddenly she knew exactly how this outing would end, Parish be damned. Under
her breath, she murmured an oath:
“I’m not going home without that dress.”
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244
RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
intermediate cHapters a
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
a intermediate cHapters
brave individuals to find what they’re looking for. Anyone Impulsive may spend a token to:
O Busk for change with a talent (or “talent.”)
O Check all the payphones for loose quarters.
O Pickpocket a tourist, which is pretty much always morally justified.
When you check off one of these boxes, get $1.
Likewise, anyone Responsible may spend a token to:
O Find a day-old Necessity in a dumpster behind a store.
O Charm a shopkeeper into saying “don’t worry about it” about a Necessity.
O Shoplift a Necessity from a big business, which is pretty much always
morally justified.
When you check off one of these boxes, check off the Necessity, as well. Once any avenue
of foraging is checked off, it’s either depleted or too risky to try it again.
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E
ven as the haywagon rolled away toward its next group of passengers, the
Moon Prince was still chuckling to themself. Their first official hayride had
been quite the adventure, and more importantly, another “Earth-seasons ex-
perience” checked off of their list.
“What a delight!” they mused, as Sal dusted the remaining straw off his pants.
With autumn came a whole host of activities that the Moon Prince had read about —
gourd carving, apple picking, leaf jumping, post-leaf-jumping-tick-removal—and they
wanted to experience it all.
“Is there anything else to do here?” the young prince asked, scoping out the fes-
tival grounds. Sal smiled to himself, because it’d been a while since he’d seen the
Moon Prince this full of energy. He surveyed the scene with a hand on his hip. Dusk
had come and gone, and plentiful gourd lamps competed with the moonlight to illu-
minate the thinning crowd, casting strange double-shadows.
They’d done just about everything. Well, except…had that sign been there before?
Sal pointed in its direction, saying, “Looks like all that’s left is the corn maze. How’s
about it, MP?”
The pair mosied through the entrance of the maze together, happy to lag behind
a giddy group of costumed children who ran forward and split off in separate paths.
Despite the familiarity of it all, the moment Sal crossed the threshold, something
felt…off.
The children’s giggling, which should’ve been muffled by thick-packed vegetables,
echoed distant and distorted. And as they walked, Sal swore the leafy pathways
were growing narrower of their own accord.
None the wiser, the Moon Prince ran their fingers over the leaves as they went,
asking, “What exactly is the purpose of a corn maze, Sal?”
“Uh,” Sal said, trying to hide his growing concern, “To find your way back out,
I guess!”
He glanced over his shoulder, looking back towards the entrance, but it was gone,
replaced by corn stalks that stretched so high the tips seemed to bend towards the
moon overhead.
“Earth Corn is amazing, Sal,” the Moon Prince mused, pausing to pick up a fallen
stalk. “I had no idea it was made of teeth!”
#
248
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
intermediate cHapters a
them. Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie and
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack, Queen, King,
or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an
Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red
Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
When someone reveals an Omen Card of the correct color, they’ll consult the Chapter’s
rules to find out what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card unless the rules say
otherwise. If the deck runs out of cards before they find an Omen of the right suit, there’s
a moment of uneasy quiet. Shuffle any unclaimed cards back into the deck.
a intermediate cHapters
JACK There’s a rustling behind you, as the corn chitters with sharp and desperate teeth. If
you’re with anyone else, you are immediately sent alone to the lowest number card
on the table. If you were already alone, freeze where you are until someone comes to
save you with a Bingo.
QUEEN A cloud passes in front of the sickly harvest moon, and the maze shifts. Flip all 3s,
4s, and 5s on the map upside down. To cross their shadowy form and flip the card
rightside up again, you’ll have to do a Bingo or Whoopsie.
KING A long scarecrow looms above the corn, and slips from its pole as you approach. Re-
trieve the King of Hearts from under the 2 of Hearts, and shuffle him into the deck.
If you’ve already shuffled the King of Hearts in, Crookneck the Pumpkin Boy joins you
in the maze. Someone may play him if they like, and if they do, Unlock him at the
end of the Chapter.
a intermediate cHapters
#
Diary Two CHAPTER ♥
z Gertrude p her diary (and no one else)
sometime before she arrived at the Bed & Breakfast
This is officially Day 4 of journaling and I’m not feeling any better.
I don’t think Mr. Detchell knows what he’s talking about. I’ve got 3 more
days of this ‘mindful exercise’ stuff before I have to show everything to him.
Why should he get to know what I think or where I go? And why should
dad? Mr. Detchell says everything is confidential, but I know what that real-
ly means: it’s between us until he decides it isn’t.
Whatever, that’s why I’m starting this diary, Diary Two. So since it’s
just for me, I’ll tell you about something cool that happened today:
Uhhh soI found all these creepy masks in a suitcase? Wait, lemme back
up. So you know how hot it gets at the house, right? Sometimes it feels like
the wallpaper’s gonna ooze off. Summer school sux but at least there’s A/C.
Well I was sitting in front of that one box fan (the one that buzzes like a
hornets nest when it’s turned up to High?) and Mark came in and stole it,
pointing it his way. I snatched it back, and we kinda did that back and forth
for a while until he got all mad, and then Will came down and turned it into
this whole thing. There was yelling like always and I think one of them ended
up busting the fan against the wall or something. Idk, I ran out before I could
see. I heard Mark running after me, shouting stuff, but he gave up once I got
near Pike’s Dump. No one goes there on account of all the seagulls and the
stink, so it’s safe, even if you leave smelling like low tide.
Anyways I ran way too far into Pike’s and was trying to catch my
breath (and also not puke ) when I see this like, glossy mound up ahead? That
sounds weird lol, but it was like, a pile of smooth white shapes, like whale bones
or a heap of broken porcelain? I walked up on it and you’ll never believe what
it was!! Well, you would cus I already told you but: MASKS!!! Not like
~Halloween~ masks, they were kinda likefor puppets? Some even looked hand-
carved, I don’t think any two of them were the same, and all of them were super
weird, except for one that was tinier than the rest, and had these lil lines going
up above the eye parts, and it’s all smooth and soft. I picked it up even though
it was gross, and (don’t judge me I know this probably sounds stupid) holding it
made me almost want to cry? Not like, boohoo crying, but my eyes started to
sting a little. I guess it felt like whoever had taken the time to make it had just
tossed it out, and forgotten all about it. Like it wasn’t important anymore or
didn’t even matter.
So, it’s under my bed now. It still kinda stinks but I’m gonna wait til
Mark and Will are out the house tomorrow and give it a proper cleaning. Idk
what I’ll use it for but, it just felt wrong to leave it on its own. Maybe it’ll make
a cool frisbee??
Boys Name
0
THE JOURNALING MOOD
This Chapter is played with a diary you can write in. Write down each of my Bingos on the
first page of the diary as my Stats. Give each Stat 5 points. These represent my emotional
resolve in my various skills. The numbers will change over time. When they’re higher, that
means I have a lot of emotional strength in that area of my life, but when they’re lower that
means I’m more miserable. If a Stat hits 0 then I burn out on that skill. Cross it out, it’s no
longer part of my identity.
At the start of each day, draw a card from a deck of playing cards. Using the rest of this
Chapter, determine what event is happening to me today and what emotional state I’m in,
then write about it in my diary. Once I’m done writing and adjusting my stats based on the
prompts, I can go to sleep and take on the new day.
MY BORING LIFE
I start with a friend. Draw a picture of them and give them a name.
I start with a secret hideout. Draw a picture of it.
62
CHAPTER
The Perfect Pumpkin
z Amelie, the Moon Prince, p anyone ready for Fall
a intermediate cHapters
had staggered down the stairs fifteen minutes past the time they were supposed to
be at the bus stop. They leaned heavily on a cane and practically dragged a horticul-
tural book behind them. Predictably, Amelie had been wheeling back and forth in the
entrance hall, practically quivering with anxiety; and it was a very nervous robot who
boarded the late bus with the very anxious Moon Prince in the rain so they could head
to the Pumpkin Patch where all the best pumpkins would certainly be gone already.
To stop themself from constantly apologizing for their tardiness, the Moon Prince
cracked open Barnabie Duke’s Officious Guide To Horticultural Production. Amelie
watched rain run down the windows while their metal fingers tapped an anxious
rhythm on their legs. Both tried to ignore the jostling around them.
The Moon Prince ran a shaking finger down the page they’d dog-eared and found
the paragraph that talked about color and size in healthy pumpkins. “…Color not nec-
essarily indicative of health,” they found themself murmuring aloud.
Amelie turned to look at them, then at the book in apparent interest, and said flatly,
“Reading on a bus will cause motion sickness.”
The Moon Prince flinched and slammed the book shut, turning a deep blue with
embarrassment. After a moment Amelie added, “But it was appropriate of you to
bring research materials. We will likely need them.”
The Moon Prince offered a hesitant smile, and Amelie’s nervous tapping slowed a
touch. The bus emptied and refilled, emptied and refilled, each stop allowing more
cold and wet to blow inside.
“We will need to select a pumpkin that can fit into Sal’s van. I have memorized
the measurements.”
The Moon Prince nodded politely. “Thanks, Amelie. And we won’t want one with soft
spots or streaks, right? A nice, even orange.”
“The stem must not be too long, but we do want a pumpkin that has one.”
“Yes! And one that’s perfect for carving, so not too long, though it could be a
little narrow?”
“Affirmative. And we will—“
“Ibbotson Patch, this stop,” the bus driver hollered, ending Amelie and the Moon
Prince’s deliberations. They both stood up quickly. Amelie reached out, hesitantly, to
offer support, but the kind old bus driver hit a button that lowered the step to ground
level when she noticed the Moon Prince’s cane.
As the two of them looked out over the pumpkin patch, however, they were
shocked to find it absolutely swarming with other pumpkin pickers! The Ibbotson
Patch was famous for the exquisite variety and size of its pumpkins, and had drawn in
families from all over the county. The Moon Prince trembled, preparing themself for
endless “excuse me’s” and “beg pardon’s,” and Amelie buzzed uncertainly at the dis-
mal quality of the remaining gourds. If there was one thing the two had in common,
it was their hatred of crowds.
#
254
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
intermediate cHapters a
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!) Tip: This is for
the BnB’s Hall
owe’en jack-o-
lantern! It shou
ld be large, sm
with enough room ooth, and round,
SPLENDID SQUASH to carve and a
nice stem.
Amelie and the Moon Prince are braving the crowds to search for the perfect pumpkin.
There’s so many to choose from, and so little time! To pick a prize, wander through the
patch until you find one that looks like it might be right:
1. Consult your Chaos Coins as you search the fields, and tick the Splendid Squash
Track if you succeed.
2. Once the Splendid Squash Track has filled up to one of the pumpkins depicted on
it, discuss the merits and/or faults of that pumpkin. Someone should hold on to it,
and whoever does flips an extra Chaos Coin whenever they search, because wow
are these things heavy!
3. Once the Splendid Squash Track has filled up all the way, we’ve found what is
indisputably the perfect pumpkin! Everyone goes to the front of the patch to wait
for Sal, who will arrive shortly (push the Chaos Coin on his track towards the end
whenever you like).
TURBULENT TUMULTS
Amelie and the Moon Prince are not great in crowds, and the pumpkin patch is positively
swarming with people. During this chapter, everyone has access to the following Bingos:
! Power through the overstimulation.
! Reassure one another.
And also the following Whoopsies: #
U Get angry at someone’s jostling. 255
a intermediate cHapters
U Pick a fight about the appearance of the current selected pumpkin.
DELICIOUS DETOURS
Any time anyone feels they just can’t handle it anymore, they can step away to the refresh-
ment area. Trade one tick on Sal’s approach track, below, to get rid of all your Chaos Coins.
Describe what you do in the rest area to destress:
+ Select a snack: roasted pumpkin seeds, cinnamon anise scones, street corn with
spices, or pumpkin pie.
+ Select a beverage: hot apple cider, pumpkin lattes, cold root beer, or ginger and
anise tea.
+ Sit and people watch.
+ Play cornhole toss to win fabulous prizes!
When you play cornhole toss, flip each Chaos Coin you’re getting rid of. Every Heads rep-
resents a bean bag successfully sunk:
+ 1+ gets you or a friend a free candy apple.
+ 2+ gets you or a friend a free miniature pumpkin.
+ 3+ gets you a free scarecrow to decorate your front yard for fall! Unlock Crookneck
the Pumpkin Boy, on pg. 191. Someone may begin playing him immediately, if they
like.
33
The Tomtom Hunt CHAPTER
z Parish, Amelie, the Tomtom (who is played without a
Character Sheet), p anyone determined to catch him
a intermediate cHapters
T
he snow piling up around the Bed & Breakfast had reached the window-
sills. It nearly glowed in the moonlight, which made them easy to see: tiny
little footprints, wandering out from the garden shed, over to the kitchen
window, and from there to the garage. Each print had a pointed tip, left by a tiny
holly-wood clog.
Parish grimaced, lowering his binoculars from his face, and hopped off of the top
shelf in the laundry room. “Back again, eh, you midwinter miscreant? AMELIE! Amelie,
where are you? He’s back!!!”
Gertrude, jerked up from her nest atop the dryer and rubbed sleep from her
eyes, alarmed.
“Parish? What’s going on…is there trouble?”
Parish was already bundling himself up in his puffiest winter jacket with all of the
severity of girding himself for battle.
“The Tomtom’s come again this year. Our longtime nemesis. An evasive and cun-
ning fairy of the gnomey variety. He visits anywhere the snow falls, tromping around
in his little wooden shoes and leaving his little blessings for any house that—”
It was cold, and Gertrude would have dearly liked to go back to sleep.
“Blessings? Wait, why is he an enemy, then?”
“Yazeba has made it very clear that she doesn’t want his blessings,” the old frog
whispered, “And where he isn’t welcome…he pulls pranks. Dastardly ones. He’ll drink
all of your milk, leave the windows open to the snowstorm, draw on the walls with
fireplace coals.”
Gertrude pulled her blankets over her face, trying to decide whether or not the
Tomtom was really her problem. “Well,” she yawned. “What exactly are you going to
do about it, Parish?”
Parish hefted a snow shovel and swung it experimentally through the air with both
hands, testing the weight of it like a medieval glaive. Behind him, Amelie appeared in
the doorway, the huge jaws of an iron bear trap dangling from one of their shoulders.
A shadow fell across his face as he replied, “Quite simple, my girl. We’ll put an end
to that reprobate’s puckish ruckus once and for all.”
#
258
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
intermediate cHapters a
them. Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie and
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack, Queen, King,
or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an
Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red
Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
When someone reveals an Omen Card of the correct color, they’ll consult the Chapter’s
rules to find out what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card unless the rules say
otherwise. If the deck runs out of cards before they find an Omen of the right suit, there’s
a moment of uneasy quiet. Shuffle any unclaimed cards back into the deck.
a intermediate cHapters
has been replaced with an identical sign that says, “HA HA HEE HEE HO HO.”
KINGHEARTS Following a commotion, we find the garage door open, and Sal’s van blasting its hi-
beams and country classics over its busted radio speakers.
ACEHEARTS To Amelie’s horror, their tidy tarp-covered lawn furniture on the patio has been
scattered, along with an upended bag of charcoal that streaks the snow black.
JACKSPADES We hear a faint, musical drumming from the woods, as if someone were dancing on
a tree with wooden shoes.
QUEENSPADES A red fox peers out playfully from the treeline, then dashes off into the woods.
KINGSPADES The Tomtom’s pointy footprints lead deeper into the woods, then straight up the
trunk of a tree, into the canopy.
ACESPADES The Tomtom’s pointy tracks lead to an old, old clearing in the woods—one you’ve
never seen before—then vanish. It’s unearthly quiet here.
AFTER HIM!
At any point, a Hunter can return an Omen they’ve collected to the box in order to try to
catch the Tomtom, either by laying a clever trap or charging blindly ahead. They flip a card
that’s adjacent to any face-up card in the Tomtom’s grid.
ACE-QUEENCLUBS
The trail wends onwards. However: If the King is hiding in an adjacent card, the Tom-
tom will tap the table or use their mouth to make the sounds of clogs clomping nearby.
HEARTS The Tomtom will tell the Hunter what blessing he has left them, usually a trinket of
carved wood, stone, or pine resin. If they like it, the Hunter may collect it, removing
the Hearts card from the Tomtom’s grid and keeping it with their Character Sheet.
DIAMONDS The Tomtom will tell the Hunter what cute (but infuriating) little trick they’ve
stumbled into. The Hunter must do a Whoopsie about it.
SPADES The Tomtom will tell the Hunter what treacherous, icy trap they’ve stumbled into.
Someone must do a Bingo to save them from peril.
KINGCLUBS The Tomtom is captured! The Hunter who flipped the card describes how. The Tom-
tom never speaks aloud, but nonetheless will try to convince the Hunters to let him go.
Once the Hunters decide what to do with the captured Tomtom, the Chapter ends. They
can divide any face-down cards left in the Tomtom’s grid evenly amongst themselves, and
hold on to any cards they’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping. The Bed & Breakfast
gets a pair of Wooden Clogs. If the Tomtom was released, he can become a Guest at the
Bed & Breakfast if he would like: Unlock his Character Sheet.
In which Gertrude and Amelie clear a path through the snow, alone,
while thinking about what it means to take care of others.
#
261
a intermediate cHapters
G
ertrude awoke to a banging and clattering, and roused herself blearily to find
Amelie in the laundry room, outfitting themself with a puffy coat and wielding
a big plastic shovel.
Gertrude yawned and asked, “It’s so early…what are you doing?”
Amelie screwed a red knit cap onto their head, and their antenna sproinged
through a hole in the top. Somehow, they made this look very serious. Stoic, even.
Fortified against the elements, they explained, “There has been an overnight snow-
fall of seven point two five inches. All pathways on the premises must be cleared be-
fore the Bed & Breakfast begins office hours.”
Gertrude looked out the window and saw the ground blanketed in snow, and the
snow blanketed in sleepy dark. The whole yard was gone; she couldn’t even see the
horseshoe pits.
“You’re going out there all by yourself?” she asked.
Amelie stared at Gertrude for a moment, then slowly turned their LED gaze to-
wards a second shovel leaning up against the washing machine, then left.
A few minutes later, Gertrude found herself blinking away sleep and pulling on a
pair of someone else’s snow boots.
#
262
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
intermediate cHapters a
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks for.
These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a
Whoopsie, they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a Bingo
or giving it to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
A HEAVY LOAD
Gertrude comes from a place where nobody thinks she’s very useful, and even here at the
B&B she doesn’t always know how she can help. With her limbs struggling and her breath
sharp and heavy, there’s a question on her mind. She chooses one of the questions below, or
invents her own:
+ “Is hard labor only for stronger people?”
+ “Have I been pulling my own weight?”
+ “Will we always be falling behind on everything?”
The question starts with 8 tokens on it. When no tokens remain, Amelie will offer Gertrude
some thoughts, but no answer. If Gertrude thinks she can answer the question, she’ll write
it down and clip it to her character sheet as a Keepsake.
a intermediate cHapters
! Admire a particularly impressive icicle.
! Write or draw something with your finger.
! Throw a snowball.
They also both have the additional Whoopsies:
U Struggle under the weight.
U Ignore something beautiful.
U Let the cold seep in.
62
Let’s Start A Band CHAPTER
z Sal, Amelie, p anyone with rhythm (or enthusiasm)
In which the Bed & Breakfast starts a band—or at least, tries to.
S
al woke up to a dripping sound outside his window. The snow on the roof #
had finally started to melt, plinking against the gutters like a metronome. 265
a intermediate cHapters
He pulled himself out of bed and shuffled through the pile of mistreated
instruments on his bedroom floor. Just as wool coats and scarves were put away for
the year, so too were Sal’s ‘out of season’ instruments. He tucked the banjo that had
kept him company all through winter back in its case, just as his autumn harmonica
and summer accordion before it. He threw open the window, and the chill spring air
awoke in him a desire for something novel.
So Sal set about the Bed & Breakfast, plucking rhythmically at a spiraled door-
stopper, then thumping a rolling pin along the staircase’s handrails. He was trying to
stir up a new sound, anything to blow that last bit of winter stuffiness clear.
Eventually a song had begun to form in his head, but there was something miss-
ing…something Sal couldn’t put his finger on—until Amelie rolled by. Just as frustra-
tion was setting in, his ears twitched at a faint whirring from down the hall, growing
louder with each passing second. Amelie appeared just as the buzz reached a cre-
scendo, drowned out only by Sal’s sudden outburst.
“Amelie!”
Amelie zeroed in on the familiar voice. “Sal,” they mimicked back in a neutral tone.
“That sound…is that coming outta you?”
They tried to run a diagnostic scan, but a fan in some hidden compartment of
Amelie’s body began to whir louder in protest, so they aborted the attempt.
“It appears to be so,” they said, although being made cognizant of themself, as
opposed to the Bed & Breakfast and their to-do list, confused them a little.
“You think we could record something together?” Sal asked, pulling a well-worn
tape deck out from under his sleeve. “That noise of yours is just what this song has
been miss—”
It turned out that Amelie was also recording, and Sal was cut off by the sound of
his own voice being repeated back to him.
“—‘Record something together?’ is missing from my directory of required tasks.”
“Well, it’s…it’s not required, Amelie, but it might be fun?”
Amelie continued to stare, and although their LED expression didn’t change, the
air around the two seemed to shift, somehow. That faulty fan whirred again. For a
moment Sal was afraid he’d set off some sort of glitch in the overworked robot’s
system.
But then Amelie spoke again, their voice as composed as ever; yet Sal swore he
could hear a tinge of curiosity hidden beneath the surface: “Fun?”
#
266
RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
intermediate cHapters a
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
TAKING CHARGE
Sal swears that this isn’t gonna be like all the other
bands he’s started. This time he’s gonna hold it
all together. Whenever anyone does a Whoopsie,
Sal can suppress the impact of the Whoopsie and
prevent it from filling the Dissonance Track. When
he does, tick the Frontman Track instead. Tick it
twice if it’s his own Whoopsie.
Whenever the Frontman Track fills up, Sal loses his cool,
and ticks up the Dissonance Track five times. He storms out
of the practice room, but when he comes back he’ll erase the
Track and is ready to lead again.
DEFINECLASS=(“FUN”) #
267
Amelie’s processors are working full-tilt to
a intermediate cHapters
adapt to this activity and calculate the param-
eters of Sal’s “fun” task. Whenever someone
does a Bingo, Amelie will analyze whether
or not this is “fun.” If they determine that it
is, they’ll fill in a segment of the Data Track.
Unfortunately, Amelie can’t just turn off
their other directives. Any time they notice
a task they left undone, or a mess the band is
starting to form, they’ll erase a segment from
the Data Track. If the Data Track ever fills
entirely, fill in five segments of the Harmony
Track and give Amelie five tokens.
Every time someone does a Bingo, tick the Harmony Track. Every time someone does a
Whoopsie, tick the Dissonance Track. Once either Track fills all the way up, start wrapping
up the Chapter.
If the Harmony Track is full, then the band can put on an awesome concert in the garden
outside the Bed & Breakfast. Everyone describes their favorite part of the concert, and pick
a song you all play a banging cover of as a group. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Band Poster.
The band lasts for a few more weeks before it dissolves due to scheduling mishaps, but it
was fun while it lasted!
If the Dissonance Track is full, then the band falls apart before it can ever reach the stage.
Everyone says what they’re most annoyed about with each other, and makes a note of it on
their Character Sheet.
#
268
One-Of-A-Kind20 CHAPTER
Meta-Clone-O-Matic
z Hey Kid, Amelie, p anyone ready to blow a gasket
Guest Starring: Hey Kid, hey kid, hey Kid,
Hey Kid, Hey Kid, Hey Kid, p Hey Kid
a intermediate cHapters
t was morning at the Bed & Breakfast, and the whole house was slowly awak-
ening to the sound of singing birds and morning sunshine diffused by con-
densation on the windows. Parish was in the kitchen making coffee, and the
smell of roast beans wafted through the halls. Amelie was set up by the back door,
sweeping the last of the winter dust out into the yard.
The screen door rattled, and they stepped aside just as Hey Kid leapt into
the kitchen.
“Hi Mx. Amelie!” Hey Kid gave a small curtsy as they stomped dirt all over the
kitchen floor before darting into the living room, a sudden flash of orange.
Amelie buzzed an electronic sigh, and got back to sweeping as they activated
their built-in Patience Protocol. They managed to get most of the dust into the dust-
pan before Hey Kid smacked open the screen door, tossing the dustpan and its
contents everywhere.
“Hi Mx. Amelie!” Hey Kid gave a peace sign as they stomped dirt all over the kitch-
en floor. They darted into the living room, a sudden flash of green.
Amelie stood shocked and covered in dust. They went to pick up the dustpan be-
fore their brain started filtering through their stored knowledge of the permanent
residents. Hey Kid—color designation blue. Not green. Uh oh.
“Hi Mx. Amelie!” Hey Kid and Hey Kid both yelled, giving matching salutes as they
stomped dirt all over the kitchen floor. They both darted into the living room, sudden
flashes of purple and pink. Amelie peeked through the door.
Oh, dear.
Parish was trying to get their attention from the kitchen, coffee in hand. He asked,
“Dear Amelie, has the post arrived yet today? I was supposed to receive a free trial
of a produce duplicator, but I can’t find it anywhere.”
They swiveled and grabbed Parish’s arm, pulling him out the screen door into the
backyard. A big cardboard box sat nestled in the dewy grass, surrounded by Hey
Kid’s entire wardrobe. Poofy dresses and sparkly suit-jackets lay out on the lawn,
and atop the box sat the little devil themself. They waved to Amelie and Parish.
“Hey, watch this!”
Hey Kid hopped off the box and climbed through the opening. There was a flash
of light, and two Hey Kids clambered back out. They high-fived, and the new Hey Kid
grabbed a pair of novelty oversized sunglasses off the ground. “Hi Mx. Amelie!”
Amelie and Parish said, “Oh, dear,” in unison.
#
270
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
intermediate cHapters a
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
Hey Kid 2:
Orange
Edition
e
My favorite room is thal
living room because ofe! l
the people in ther
BINGO:
! Make a new friend.
WHOOPSIE:
U Bite someone.
Green Bean
H3y Kid
My favorite room is the kitchen
because I can be helpful there!
BING O:
! Pick something up wi
th my
incredible strength.
WHOOPSIE:
U Throw something or
someone
across the room.
Hey Kid #
271
Episode IV:
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A New Pink
My favorite room is Hey
Kid’s room, because that’s
where all the toys are.
BINGO:
! Show someone your favorite action
figure, doll, outfit, or diorama.
WHOOPSIE:
U Force someone to hang out with you.
Salutations
Child the
Fifth, esq.,
Prince of
Purple
My favorite room is the library,
where I may study responsibly.
BINGO: WHOOPSIE:
! Loquaciously articulate events U Insist on tedious decorum.
as they transpire.
Red-With-
Racing-Stripes
Hey Kid, Mk.the6
My favorite room s are all
hallways, because I canstru. n
down them really fa
BINGO: there
and get
! Excitedly run somewhere,
really fast.
WHOOPSIE:
no one can
U Dash away to somewhere
find you.
#
Hey Kid #7
272
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te room
You know my favoriI’m
already, don’t you? Hey Kid!
BINGO:
Hey Kid.
! Act just like the real
WHOOPSIE:
d reveal m y true
U Let the mask slip, an
nature.
MISSIN
G
The eighth Hey Kid KID
escaped the Bed & has
B r
and I’m sure that eakfast,
we’ll ever hear o’s the last
f them.
BINGO:
! UNKNOW
N
WHOOPSIE
:
U UNKNOW
N
#
273
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THE META-CLONE-O-MATIC™
Hi! You are now the proud owner of the one-of-a-kind miraculous
Meta-Clone-O-Matic™, a modern kitchen solution for ages 12+.
Simply insert an item you want copied, pull the lever, and now you
have two!
• Whenever you put an object into the Meta-Clone-O-Matic™, you have 10
seconds to write as much as possible about that object onto a new index card.
• If you’re making a copy of a copy, you have half as much time, and cannot write
anything from outside the original card.
• If you want to return an object to the Mirrorverse of its origin, you’ll need to
open up the secondary Meta-Clone-O-Matic™ access panel (See: Diagram 115b.1)
and adjust the output wires accordingly.
• Consult your Concierge for any disputes on the mechanical function of the
Meta-Clone-O-Matic™.
• Do not, under any circumstances, insert living sentient beings into the Meta-
Clone-O-Matic™. This is incredibly dangerous. In the event of a copied sentient
being, flip a coin. On a heads, the duplicate will share rough goals and Chaos Coins
with their original; on a tails, write “EVIL” on their card and they’ll share rough
goals and Chaos Coins with the Hey Kids.
• In the event of a
hazardous
danger
EIGHT OF THEM?!?
Hey Kid managed to make seven clones of themself before Amelie found out what they
were up to. Each one is a different color, and each is represented by an index card with one
Bingo and one whoopsie, along with a 3-part track and their favorite room in the B&B. You
can find them in their favorite room, wreaking havoc.
All the Hey Kid clones share Chaos Coins, and they can consult their coins in order to
erase a mark from any Track.
Once a Hey Kid clone’s track is filled up, that Hey Kid will realize they should go back
home and climb back into the Meta-Clone-O-Matic to be zapped away—or tire themself
out enough to be wrangled back into the Meta-Clone-O-Matic by someone else, with no
further coin-flipping required.
#
274
HACKING THE MACHINE
Before we can send all the extra Hey Kids back to the Mirrorverse, we’ll have to rewire
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EDGE CASES
There are a number of unique events that can occur via the Meta-Clone-O-Matic. The
Concierge is the ultimate arbiter on how the Meta-Clone-O-Matic functions. Here are a
few to keep an eye out for:
+ Any money (including Chaos Coins) duplicated in the Meta-Clone-O-Matic will
be the wrong color, or will have backwards writing on it, thus rendering it unfit for
legal tender.
+ Yazeba cannot be duplicated in the Meta-Clone-O-Matic. Any attempts just
result in a pile of dust.
If the Moon Prince enters the Meta-Clone-O-Matic, instead of creating a clone, unlock
Nimbus Shadowside as a Guest and add them to the Bed & Breakfast. You cannot force xem
back into the Meta-Clone-O-Matic against xyr will.
+ In the unlikely event that an extra Hey Kid manages to stick around after the
chapter ends, give them three more Bingos and Whoopsies, write three facts about
them, and create them as a guest. Give them a Journey from the Spare Journeys
section, and once that Journey is complete, they will decide to leave the Bed &
Breakfast and go their own way in the world.
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#
#
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was beginning to sound almost musical. Gertrude fiddled with the folded
envelope in the pocket of her hoodie, running her fingers over the gilt edges and
bumpy wax, but she’d already read the letter it contained over and over. She could
probably recite it by heart:
Miss Gertrude ,
Y our charm cunning and aptitude for magic have not gone unnoticed by all It
, , .
is my cherished honor to invite you this evening to the Night Market beginning
,
at the stroke of midnight and ending at twelve Bring the enclosed ticket and an
.
escort to the wooden gate in the old stone wall at the appointed hour I’m giddy with
.
Y ours
,
Monday
P S Yazeba doesn’t need to know about this little excursion She might get jealous
. . . .
She tried her best to follow the little fairy-light dancing in front of her, but the
path through the haunted woods was invisible (and, frankly, nonsensical) to her. She
asked, “Uhh, Monday, Are you sure this is the right way?”
“There’s no path I know better, my dear,” Monday’s voice, singsong in the night,
seemed both ahead and behind her. “Not even the way back.”
They stepped through a wooden gate suspiciously like the one in Yazeba’s back-
yard, and Gertrude felt her hair puff out as the air became muggy and full of un-
identified smells both enticing and repugnant. The melodic buzzing and croaking
of wildlife resolved itself into real music, and the muffled din of barkers addressing
unruly crowds.
# As always, she had more questions than she knew how to ask. “Also, how can the
278 market begin at midnight and end at twelve? Isn’t that no time at all?”
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This made Monday pause and bob thoughtfully in the air, as if they’d never consid-
ered it before, but eventually they chuckled, “There’s always time to shop.”
The Night Market was nestled among the trees and expanded far beyond them,
rows and rows of tents and stalls stretching off into the dark. Its sprawling lanes
were lit by moth-mobbed lanterns and lined with muddy carpets, and everywhere
there were strange and marvelous wonders for sale the likes of which Gertrude
had never seen: ancient swords and fizzing love potions, otherworldly plants pot-
ted in skulls, dresses made from running waterfalls and candies that gleamed with
trapped moonlight.
But before she could take more than a couple steps, Monday stopped her with a
raised finger, a smile painted on their face, and said, “Careful, Gertrude! Fairies are
treacherous creatures, but I’ll stay close beside you. So, the question of the evening:
With all your heart, what do you desire?”
0
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks for.
These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a Whoopsie,
they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a Bingo or giving it
to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
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Gertrude’s heart, and tonight they plan on making an offer to the young witch that she can’t
resist. Write “The Witch’s Bargain” on an Index card. Every time someone places a token on
The Witch’s Bargain, Monday may ask Gertrude a question, such as:
+ “Do you worry about losing control?”
+ “Do you think Yazeba likes you?”
+ “What are you so scared of ?”
+ “Who are you trying to impress?”
+ “What will you do if you’re not strong enough?“
+ “Do you think you’re too much, or never enough?”
+ “What do you think people see, when they look at you?”
+ “What do you suppose it really means to be authentic?”
+ “Are you who you want to be?”
+ “Has anyone ever told you that you guard your heart too closely?”
+ Anything else, of Monday’s devising.
Monday can ask the question immediately, or hold on to it until they sense an opening. The
questions always come off as innocent, no matter how sinister their implications.
At the end of the Chapter, after Gertrude’s answer to her question, Monday may make
an offer to Gertrude. They may promise her absolutely anything, but the price is always
the same—Gertrude’s heart. No one else may contribute their opinions—they must give
Gertrude the space to genuinely consider and come to her own conclusion. If she says
yes, then the deal is struck. Monday gives Gertrude the Heartless Contract on pg. 460
to sign and leaves the Bed & Breakfast. If she says no, then Monday backs off, and the
Chapter ends.
WONDROUS WARES
Monday plays by different rules in the Night Market. Monday starts with 12 Tokens, and
can’t receive more. If Monday would receive another Token, put it on The Witch’s Bargain
instead.
When Monday does a Bingo or a Whoopsie, something splendid goes up for sale in the
Night Market: a magical cloak of protection, an infinite chocolate bar, a flaming sword, or
something like that. Monday can tailor the item to suit a Character perfectly. They need
not involve themself in the transaction (see Unfamiliar Faces) even though they’re the one
pulling the strings.
Monday writes down the goods for sale on an index card and puts between one and three
of their Tokens on it. Anyone else may purchase the wares on Monday’s credit. If they do,
move the Tokens from the purchased item to The Witch’s Bargain, and they take the index
card and clip it to their Character Sheet as a Keepsake.
#
280
UNFAMILIAR FACES
The Night Marker is full of strange creatures with exciting wares, who you might never see
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again. When this Chapter begins, write down the four following sentences onto four sepa-
rate Index cards. Then, everyone writes down a personal fact about a creature, a description
of a wild outfit, an unusual kind of body, and a tricksy fairy magic onto four Index cards,
and then shuffles all the cards together.
+ I am vast and beautiful, like the ocean or the sky.
+ I owe the Starving King an unspeakable debt and live in terror of his inevitable
return.
+ Wearing a plaid blazer, like a used car salesman.
+ Look at this little tree in my hand, and watch it fade to autumn and die, isn’t
that neat?
Whenever anyone starts up a conversation, someone else (who isn’t in the conversation)
chooses two index cards randomly from the pile. These cards comprise a Stranger that
they’ll speak as until the conversation is over, the location changes, or the Stranger gets
bored of participating. When we leave a Stranger behind, keep their index cards together,
but put them off to the side. When there are no more cards left to draw from, we can pick
up Strangers we’ve already met whenever we need one.
salvation at
erdogoss bridge
EXCERPT FROM HEARTSWORD
B
ut just when all hope was lost, I remembered the ancient pearl flute that
the old crone gave me when she first foretold my prophecy and hinted at
the power of the Heartsword. In my moment of desperation, surrounded by
Muldakai raining black death fire down from above, I played the flute and its notes
sung out across the chasm. Suddenly, the flames stopped, like when you smother a
campfire with water. From the dust and ash, emerged forth an old crone, with silver
hair and a black hood.
“Wait, you’re the old crone from before!” I hollered, looking at her with surprise.
She shook her head, and took off her black hood to reveal a powerful woman, with
indigo hair, emerald eyes, and a dazzling smile. She also had fairy wings.
“I was just in the form of a crone to deliver my prophecy. I am in fact Selena,
errant fairy of the moon, keeper of golden locks, and guardian of the second day. I
see that your friend is dead, and for that I am sorry.” The fairy uttered with beautiful
vowels.
I looked down at the corpse of Captain Redtooth, who lay in my arms. While
weeping I sobbed, “Oh please, great Selena, is there anything you can do to save
him?”
With a smile Selena announced, “Indeed, I can bring your dead brave captain
back to life, although it will cost a terrible price.”
“I don’t care if I have to rip my own heart out. I’ll do anything to save him.”
Fairy Names #
281
If you need any names for the various fairies hanging around the Night Market, you can
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use these (or invent your own):
+ Alvius Pudge + Madam Spade The Glitterwitch
+ Archival Dust Bunny + Maeve’s Funny Little Friend
+ Belladonna + Red Rasp
+ Blue Cassandra + Sparkle Duchess
+ Crowfriend + Spooky Jess
+ Forget-Me-Not + Tech Ghoul
+ Hazelnut Q. Twig + The Baronette
+ Jade Bogwing + Whiskered Tim
+ Lickspittle
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T
he neighborhood Gertrude watched roll by from the passenger seat of
Sal’s van wasn’t what she was expecting. Given Wormstonk’s music, she’d
assumed the venue for their latest show would be somewhere less…sub-
urban. Rows of identical two-story homes stretched as far as her eyes could see,
sprawling out under the last vestiges of the setting summer sun.
“We’re here!” Sal sang, parking next to the very antithesis of a HOA-regulated
house. Gertrude stared out at the array of loitering bodies on the front lawn, her own
insecurity beginning to bubble up. Listening to the band’s EP in the privacy of the
laundry room was one thing, but now she found herself at her first ever punk show.
“Um, I don’t have an I.D.,” she blurted out as they walked closer to the house.
“It’s a house show, Gertie, not a bar. No one’s gonna card you,” the usual teasing in
Sal’s tone was softer now. He could see her anxiety coming off in waves, even under
her mask
“Hey,” he whispered, giving her two hearty pokes to the side to raise her gaze up
from the sidewalk. “I get it’s your first show, but there’s nothing to be nervous about.
The worst that’ll happen is an accidental elbowing.”
Gertrude chuckled with relief and turned her attention towards the back door,
now unnerved by the eerie quiet.
“Are…are we late? Did Wormstonk already play?” she asked the seasoned show-go-
er on her side.
“Well, if my calculations are correct—” he pulled the crumpled up flyer from his
back pocket before continuing in an uncharacteristically scientific tone, “—if the
flyer says ‘Doors open at 8’, then that means the bands won’t get there til 9, and won’t
get set up for another half hour. With three openers, all with songs shorter than sixty
seconds, and factoring in ‘Punk Time’, I’d say— ”
Sal’s conclusion was interrupted by a screeching guitar lick and the electric buzz-
pop of amps powering on. All at once the remaining show-goers who were sprawled
on the lawn threw down their cans and cigarettes and ran back inside. A familiar
chord rang out from inside, one from a song Gertrude had spent hours listening to
on repeat. Her smile was hidden, but Sal could hear it in her voice as she grabbed
hold of his wrist, pulled him along and yelled:
“Oh! They’re on NOW!”
# RELAXED MOOD
284
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
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During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
IN THE BASEMENT
The Basement is where the stage is, and where
Wormstonk is performing live. Their music is loud,
sweaty, and rowdy. They want to see the audience thrash
and flail! Make mistakes! It’s rock and roll, baby!
Whenever you do a Whoopsie in the basement, turn
up the volume on the Rock And Roll Track. If we
turn the volume on the Rock And Roll Track up to 11,
then Wormstonk notices how cool we all are. Anyone
can get up on stage and sing along with the music, and
Unlock the “Wormstonk” Guest if we can find them
(hint: they’re not in the book).
IN THE HOUSE
People like to hang out in the house, listening to the dull
thud of the music below, eating pizza, and chilling on
couches. Whenever someone starts up a conversation with
a Stranger (see Unfamiliar Faces) while up in the house
proper, they get a token.
Whenever someone is talking to a Stranger at the
party, they can take a slice from the Pizza Track (marking
off that section). When the Pizza Track has been eaten,
anyone can spend a Token to find a new pizza in a box
(and create a corresponding Pizza Track).
At the end of this Chapter, everyone gets an extra token as Leftovers for every pizza that
has been eaten.
UNFAMILIAR FACES
Parties are full of strange people with exciting lives, who you might never catch again. When
this Chapter begins, write down the four sentences below onto four separate Index cards.
Then, everyone writes down a personal fact, a description of a wild outfit, an extremely specific
emotion, and a cool tattoo idea onto four Index cards, and then shuffles all the cards together.
+ I wanna go to college to become a wizard, like my dad.
+ I think tie-dye denim is the height of fashion.
+ I’m secretly a Martian, and I have to make sure no one figures it out.
+ I have a tattoo of a large rat eating pizza on my collarbone. Wanna see?
Whenever anyone starts up a conversation, someone else (who isn’t in the conversation) #
chooses two index cards randomly from the pile to comprise a Stranger, that they’ll speak as 285
until the conversation is over, or changes locations, or they get bored of participating. When
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we leave a Stranger behind, put their index cards together off to the side. When there are
no more cards left to draw from, we can pick up Strangers we’ve already met whenever we
need one.
Groupie Names
If you need any names for any of the punks hanging out at the house concert, here’s a few
names floating around (or you can invent your own):
STAR Jazzy
ON THE LAWN
Outside the house, the summer night is cool and the smell of smoke lingers around the
bushes. There is a question lingering here, on an Index card that anyone can access when
they step outside. It is:
+ “Do I fit in here?”
Whenever someone does a Bingo outside, they put the token they spent on the question.
At the end of the Chapter, check how many tokens the Question has, and try to answer
it accordingly:
+ 4 Or Fewer Tokens: Shrug, and move on. It doesn’t matter.
+ 5-8 Tokens: Everyone who wants to gives a short answer.
+ 9 Or More Tokens: Everyone who wants to gives their thoughts on the question,
and the Bed & Breakfast gets a Band Poster.
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through them as a frog.
The Bed & Breakfast’s cook had been contemplating the next day’s meals with
the limited remaining groceries (as Amelie had yet to do the week’s shopping), when
Yazeba had sailed imperiously into his kitchen and demanded, “Come with me, and
bring a paring knife.”
Almost all the Bed & Breakfast’s knives were paring or fruit knives—those were
the only knives Parish’s small, amphibious hands could hold. But Yazeba was a witch
with her own ritual implements, and he could think of no she’d need one of the many
worn utensils in his domain, but he grabbed his favorite and hopped along, grocery
woes forgotten.
Now he’d give anything to be fretting over pasta primavera and crow pies again,
because once he’d jumped into Yazeba’s bike basket and seen the route they were
taking, Parish wanted nothing more than to beg the witch to turn around and head
home. Fear was a feeling as foreign to him as riding in the basket of a bicycle. He
found himself missing the sensation of two strong human legs beneath him and a
sword rattling against his hip.
They sped past old run-down shacks which had stood empty for decades, even
before his transformation. Past the DANGER, TURN BACK and VOID AHEAD signs.
Past the final notice of HAUNTED WOOD: ONLY THOSE CAPABLE OF MAGICAL AND
MENTAL DEFENSE SHOULD ENTER, painted a stark white on an old wooden sign.
Parish felt anything but capable. As a knight, he’d journeyed through these woods
before, ignoring the siren calls of trickster spirits and the floating lanterns of wraiths.
As a human, he’d fought off monstrous, hungering trees and hellish beasts that would
make an easy meal of a frog. And now, Parish couldn’t decide what he was more
scared of: entering the old woods, or asking the grouchy witch to turn around. She
was cycling on with a resolute expression, with not a quiver of her chin nor a trem-
ble in her grip. Where had his own courage gone?
The old bike screeched to a halt at the forest’s mouth, and Yazeba dismounted.
After a breath, Parish did as well, clutching his paring knife in quivering hands. He fan-
cied it was the bike screeching, but the noise from the old brakes and rusty chains
seemed to echo between the trees; echo, and multiply, and return a thousandfold,
sounding like the shades of the underworld and the demons of the wind laughing at
them—laughing at him, returning in such a pathetic form with a blade suitable only
for cutting fruit.
Something in the woods was watching them, sizing them up. Fairy lights that
looked like glowing eyes danced in the distance, while something larger and more
substantial slithered among the old leaves and ancient branches.
# “You know why we’re here, of course,” Yazeba said in a clipped tone. Parish
288 flinched. Why was he here? As a tiny frog, he would provide little in the way of pro-
tection, and the infamous witch probably frightened whatever dwelt in these woods
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0
THE HAUNTED WOODS
Between the Bed & Breakfast and Veilridge are the Haunted Woods, and tonight the mist
is even more unsettling than usual. Take a deck of playing cards, set the Jack, Queen, Ace
of Hearts aside, and deal the rest out in a 7x7 grid face-down—this is the Haunted Woods.
Give the Queen of Hearts to Yazeba, the Jack of Hearts to Parish, and all other players
collectively hold onto the Ace of Hearts. These are the game pieces we will use to navigate
the Haunted Woods.
Everyone enters the Haunted Woods together, at an edge of Yazeba’s Choice. Whenever
anyone moves to a new card, flip that card face-up. That person may choose whether to
move to the next card, or do a Bingo and linger. If they choose to linger, they get to collect
that card and consult the Mushroom Chart to see what sort of Mushroom they’ve found.
Kings are special events—if you flip one, immediately consult the Mushroom Chart to
see what happens. You don’t need to do a Bingo and linger.
If a card has been picked up, then the Haunted Woods has been disturbed there, and it’s
not safe to retread those steps. Wise explorers will step carefully and make sure to preserve
a path home.
MUSHROOM NEEDS
Yazeba and Parish both have lists for their various projects—Yazeba’s mushrooms are for
her potions and tonics, while Parish wants to prepare a recipe. The Chapter can end when
either of them finish their list, and definitely ends once both have finished their lists. The
Bed & Breakfast gets a Baby Mushroom if one list is complete, and a Golden Chanterelle
if both lists are complete. Everyone can keep any extra mushrooms they’ve collected as #
Leftovers for Housekeeping. In the event that the group has become hopelessly lost within 289
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the Haunted Woods, the Concierge may describe the rising sun and the ending of night.
In this event, everyone retreats home with what they have, keeping the mushrooms they’ve
collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping and a deeper terror of the Woods and its myster-
ies. Lock this Chapter.
Yazeba’s Parish’s
Potion List Pantry List
1 Lion’s Mane
oods A Giant Puffb
A Hen-of-the-W A Bear’s-Hea
all
2 Sickeners d Tooth
3 Chicken-of-
the-Woods
2 Death Caps A King Boletus
oms An Oyster Mu
2 Oyster Mushro shroom
Two Bovista pu
A Destroying An
gel ffballs
KINGDIAMONDS A strange deer, with too many eyes and horns that seem to writhe under the
moonlight. It will go away peacefully if you throw a Deer Mushroom at it. Oth-
erwise, it will charge at you before vanishing into the woods, flipping all face-up
cards in the Woods face-down and mixing them up.
KINGSPADES A small family of wicked goblins, with gleaming eyes and a love for mushrooms.
They’ll let you go peacefully if you give them any toxic mushroom—if you don’t,
they’ll play a wicked prank on you! Take all your mushrooms and mix them up
face down with all the other face down cards.
KINGCLUBS A monstrous crow-like creature has been watching Parish from above. He can
do a Bingo to scare it away, but if he lets bygones be bygones it’ll follow us
home. Unlock the Guest named The Jeckerynne, if you can find it.
KINGHEARTS An iridescent flyer, worn and torn by the elements, which reads “The Everyone
Hostel: We Have Room!” with a picture of a young Yazeba on it. If Yazeba sees
it, she must do a Whoopsie and storm off. She will not speak of the history of
that old hostel.
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ACESPADES Hericium americanum. The Bear’s-Head Tooth mushroom, while similar to the
Lion’s Mane, lacks the latter’s medicinal properties. It’s still delicious, however,
and tastes like crab.
FOUR,FIVE Laetiporus sp. Often called Chicken-Of-The-Woods, a bright yellow soft-flesh
shelf mushroom that tastes just like chicken.
TENHEARTS,CLUBS Omphalotus illudens. The poisonous Jack-O’-Lantern mushroom, named after
its bright orange coloration, is a toxic and unpleasant mushroom easily confused
for the Golden Chanterelle.
SEVEN Pleurotus ostreatus. Oyster mushrooms are a kind of shelf mushroom
that is both a great snack and useful for its function as a base in various
arcane reagents.
THREE Pluteus cervinus. Deer Mushrooms are wide-capped mushrooms with a medio-
cre taste and limited medicinal applications.
JACKCLUBS,SPADES Psilocybe ovoideocystidiata. A rather unique mushroom. Keep out of the hands
of children.
SIX Russula sp. A bright red mushroom nicknamed the Sickener, for predictable
reasons. Don’t eat.
THREE Scleroderma citrinum. The Common Earthball is a puff-like toxic mushroom and
should be avoided.
QUEENDIAMONDS Vermi boletus. Resembles a small child buried in the mud. Create a copy of the E.
Vermi Boletus guest (found on pg. 197,) but change the first letter to reflect a new
subspecies, and give them to the Bed & Breakfast as a new guest.
#
292
CHAPTER
Earthsick
z Gertrude, the Moon Prince, a gaggle of
32
guests, p anyone who dreams of flying
or has nightmares about falling
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ply no relief for their aching muscles. Most of the time they could almost
ignore the constant pressure from Earth’s gravity, but on their worse days, when it
felt like their limbs were held down by iron weights, the strain was much more obvi-
ous…especially to one of the Bed & Breakfast’s most empathetic residents.
Gertrude scrambled up the ladder into the attic in a rush, scurrying in through the
barely open door. The Moon Prince winced as they turned to see her, her hoodie
pouch bulging suspiciously, and sat up fast enough to make themself dizzy, praying
a pleasant smile was enough to hide their pain.
“Oh, good evening, Gertrude! I didn’t hear you on the ladder.”
“Hey,” Gertrude responded with less zeal, her gaze oscillating between the
Moon Prince’s too-taut smile and the iron grip they currently had on their mattress.
“I, uh, noticed you’ve been limping a lot lately, and wanted to check on you. You
feeling alright?”
The Moon Prince’s expression faltered, but they slipped it back into place. “I guess
I’m still getting used to the gravity here! I didn’t know I was being that obvious.” They
chuckled, ignoring the pressure it caused on their ribs.
“So you…aren’t feeling alright, then,” Gertrude said slowly. She crossed the attic to
sit, gingerly, at the foot of their bed.
The Moon Prince had never been adept at lying—maybe withholding, but never
flat-out deception. They let out a deep sigh and slouched into the weight of their
own body.
“No. I suppose I don’t feel alright at all.”
Gertrude glanced nervously at the trapdoor, and spoke in hushed words, “Well,
I’ve got a spell that might solve that. One of Yazeba’s.”
“Oh! Are you sure Miss Yazeba doesn’t mind you borrowing her spell, Gertrude?”
The Moon Prince asked, innocently enough to wrack her with momentary guilt. But
Gertrude was already emptying her hoodie of its hidden spoils.
“I’m sure she won’t even notice.”
The Moon Prince opened their mouth to object, but Gertrude had already begun
grinding the reagents, her hands quick and deft with the mortar and pestle. She
began to chant:
Stars unborn and stars long past, Release your ancient grip at last
Cthonic earth and soil worn, Forget your hold on mass and form
As the last syllable left her lips, everything in the attic began to rise into the
air. Gertrude flailed and swatted her hair out of her eyes as she lost contact with
the bed.
# The Moon Prince, however, felt right at home. Their posture acclimated immedi-
294 ately—spine lax, limbs loose and head straight forward. A sigh of relief left the young
royal as their head ponked gently against the ceiling. Finally, there was no dull, radiat-
intermediate cHapters a
ing ache. They’d never had to worry about constant physical pain back on the Moon.
For a moment, they were lost in memories of home.
A show of gratitude was in order, but a cacophony of thumps, bangs and yells from
the floor below interrupted that. The pair spun around, the sudden swivel making
Gertrude propel herself right into a suspended wardrobe. Even with the trapdoor
closed, it was easy to guess what the chaos outside was all about, especially when
Yazeba’s voice struck through the B&B’s walls like a hammer, chilling them both to
their cores:
“Who turned off the gravity?!”
0
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
SPACE TRAINING
With Gertrude’s errant spell, the entire Bed & Breakfast has been thrown into zero-gravity
chaos. The Moon Prince wants to have fun and be a Cosmonaut, but Gertrude is terrified
of Yazeba’s wrath, and is acting like a Landlubber. Any other Residents must decide if they
are Cosmonauts or Landlubbers before the Chapter begins. The Gaggle of Guests all start
out neutral. By consulting their Chaos Coins, the Cosmonauts can show how much fun
floating can be:
+ You can play all sorts of new games.
+ All those mystery aches and pains go away.
+ You can fly through the house.
+ You can look behind all the heavy furniture.
+ Something else Moon Prince misses from their home.
Similarly, the Landlubbers can consult their Chaos Coins to point out one of the many
#
perils of low gravity: 295
+ Yazeba’s antique pottery is going to shatter.
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+ Everyone’s getting mud on the walls.
+ Someone turned on the tap, and now orbs of water are everywhere.
+ Eating cereal has become impossible.
+ Something else Gertrude knows Yazeba will hate.
Whenever you check one off, the Gaggle of Guests’ player picks a Guest who defects to
your side.
When the Landlubbers check the last box, Gertrude’s player decides whether gravity
returns gradually or all at once. No more coins can be flipped or boxes checked. The Moon
Prince decides when the chapter ends. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Book of Magic.
The Landlubbers hold on to any Chaos Coins they’ve collected as Leftovers for use
uring Housekeeping.
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#
#
298
67 CHAPTER
The Rusalka’s Mirror
z The Moon Prince, Yazeba, p anyone but Gertrude
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I
t was a crisp, clear night, and the moon hung bright and low in the Moon Prince’s
window, setting the snowy ground alight. It was so bright and low and pene-
trating as to seem almost accusatory. Maybe that was why they couldn’t sleep.
Bundled up in a blanket, they padded softly up to the attic observatory, as
they often did in quiet moments. There was a telescope, Yazeba’s star charts,
some broken limbs of Amelie’s, a dressmaker form, and a pile of boxes marked
STRESSED PINS.
And there was something tall, with a sheet draped over it. In the moonlight it al-
most looked like a ghost, except that it had no eye holes and only fluttered in the
draft. A sign taped to the sheet read, in scrawled handwriting, “DO NOT TOUCH.
GERTRUDE THIS MEANS YOU.”
Curious, and not being Gertrude, (and not being accustomed to taking orders
from signs anyway) the prince pulled down the sheet. Beneath it was a lovely stand-
ing mirror with a dark wood frame. In its reflection was the attic, but Amelie’s parts
were rusted, the star charts were blurred beyond legibility, and the telescope was
floating. It was as if the whole attic were underwater.
Most curiously of all, where The Moon Prince themself should have been stand-
ing, they saw a masked teen with long, flowing hair. And she began to sing.
Asleep at her desk downstairs, Yazeba’s eyes jerked open, and she sprang from
her chair. “Frights afire, you fool!”
#
300
A NOTE ABOUT TONE
Before this Chapter starts, we should decide as a group whether this is the right Chapter
intermediate cHapters a
for us, and discuss the intensity of the Rusalka’s song. Do we want this Chapter to feel more
adventurous, or horrifying? Are we comfortable with the Rusalka as an allegory for suicidal
ideation and self-destruction, or do we want to treat her as just a scary monster in the attic?
Once we’re all on the same page, we can continue.
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
them. Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie and
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack, Queen, King,
or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an
Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll
flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red
Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
When someone reveals an Omen Card of the correct color, they’ll consult the Chapter’s
rules to find out what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card unless the rules say
otherwise. If the deck runs out of cards before they find an Omen of the right suit, there’s
a moment of uneasy quiet. Shuffle any unclaimed cards back into the deck.
a intermediate cHapters
The Rusalka catches you by the hand and drags you into the mirror-room.
Someone must do a Bingo to save you, if they can.
Whenever you reveal an Ace, the water creates a broader structural problem. Take the top
six cards from the Omen Deck and put them with the River, then:
ACEHEARTS The water soaks through the ceiling of the living room, building up mold and
rot. Create a new Track in the Assorted Tracks section to monitor its repairs,
and no one can hang out in the living room until it’s fixed.
ACEDIAMONDS A friend gets lost in the waves and dumped deep in the Bed & Breakfast’s
sub-basements. Lock a Guest who isn’t being played right now and set them
aside. We can find them, lost and confused, the next time we play Chapter 14:
Lights Out.
ACECLUBS The water sweeps away our favorite treasures and reminders of our
time together. Draw X’s through all the Mementos in the Concierge’s
favorite Shelf.
ACESPADES The water soaks Gertrude’s bed and damages her journal. Divide her
Keepsakes randomly into two even piles, and destroy everything in the
first pile.
If anyone has a Queen or King of Hearts and a Jack or King of Diamonds on their Sheet,
they lay down in the water and will speak only to agree with the Rusalka.
I
-niw s’edurtreG ni gnignah ,thgrib saw noom eht dna ,thgin raelc ,psric a saw t
sa erup dna hgih dna thgrib os saw tI .thgila dnuorg ywons eht gnittes dna wod
.peels t’ndluoc ehs yhw saw taht ebyaM .latnemgduj tsomla mees ot
-resbo citta eht ot pu ylftos deddap ehs peelsa-flah llits dna teknalb a ni pu deldnuB
,s’eilemA fo sbmil nekorb emos ,strahc rats s’abezaY ,epocselet a saw ereTh .yrotav
.STRESSED PINS dekram sexob fo elip a dna ,mrof rekamsserd a
-la ti thgilnoom eht nI .ti revo depard teehs a htiw ,llat gnihtemos saw ereht dnA
eht ni derettulf ylno dna seloh eye on dah ti taht tpecxe ,tsohg a ekil dekool tsom
.HCUOT TON OD“ ,gnitriwdnah delwarcs ni ,daer teehs eht ot depat ngis A .ftard
”.UOY SNAEM SIHT EDURTREG
gnieb ta yrgna elttil a dna( ,sdrow eht gnigdums seye yraelb htiw dna ,suoriuC
ylevol a saw ti htaeneB .teehs eht nwod dellup edurtreG ),tsenoh eb ot ,tuo dellac
s’eilemA tub ,citta eht saw noitcelfer sti nI .emarf doow krad a htiw rorrim gnidnats
epocselet eht dna ,ytilibigel dnoyeb derrulb erew strahc rats eht ,detsur erew strap
.retawrednu erew citta elohw eht fi sa saw tI .gnitaolf saw
was ehs ,gnidnats neeb evah dluohs flesreh edurtreG erehw ,lla fo ylsuoriuc tsoM
.gnis ot nageb yeht dnA .revliskciuq ekil seye htiw neet denworc ,rednels a
.riahc reh morf gnarps ehs dna ,nepo dekrej seye s’abezaY ,ksed reh ta peelsA
”!enod uoy evah tahw ,edurtreG ,erifa sraeF“
#
6ro7 RETPAHC
rriM s’aklasuR ehT
ecnirP nooM ehT tub enoyna p ,abezaY ,edutreG z
203
N E D R U B S ’E C I T N E R P P A E H T
ot y rt tsum dna sneeu Q reh sekat edurtreG ,yawa dehsaw si ro srednerrus abezaY fI
-rahc reh no dnomaiD a dna traeH a htob steg edurtreG fI .nwo reh no gnidnib eht hsinfi
nac ehS .reh rof eispooh W dna ogniB wen a tnevni ,daetsnI .pu evig t’nseod ehs ,teehs retca
.esoht esu
QUEEN E L C R I C S ' H C T I W E H T
ruof sdeen ehs hcihw rof ,gnidnib fo elcric a etelpmoc tsum abezaY ,aklasuR eht yawa laes oT
evig ot ogniB a od nac enoyna ,delaever si neeuQ a revenehW .citta eht dnuora morf srohcna
:elcric lleps reh fo trap sa reh fo tnorf ni ti secalp ehs dna ,abezaY ot ti
.cigam-llort yb nevow dna doow-ylloh ,dnaw s’abezaY SPADESQUEEN
.yleerf detfig dna enots-nfile morf dev rac ,bro s’abezaY CLUBSQUEEN
.noitats sag a morf thguob ,setteragic s’abezaY fo kcap A DIAMONDSQUEEN
.leurc dna y rgna nrut ot meht gnicrof—nworc s’aklasuR eTh HEARTSQUEEN
eht edisa teS .sezeerf rorrim eht dna ,etelpmoc si elcric reh ,sneeuq ruof lla stcelloc abezaY fI
tsafkaerB & deB eTh .sdne retpahc eht nehw sediced edurtreG dna ,pu parw dna sdrac fo kced
rof srevotfeL sa esu ot teehs ruoy no sdraC nemO yna tcelloC .nworC dehsinrat a steg
reh morf ti ekirts ”,thgfi a tuohtiw pu eviG“ eispoohW eht sah edurtreG fI .gnipeekesuoH
.teehS retcarahC
E N O T T U O B A E TO N A #
403
,su rof retpahC thgir eht si siht rehtehw puorg a sa ediced dluohs ew ,strats retpahC siht erofeB
sretpaHc etaidemretni a
-rutnevda erom leef ot retpahC siht tnaw ew oD .gnos s’aklasuR eht fo ytisnetni eht ssucsid dna
dna noitaedi ladicius rof yrogella na sa aklasuR eht htiw elbatrofmoc ew erA ?gniyfirroh ro ,suo
lla er’ew ecnO ?citta eht ni retsnom yracs a tsuj sa meht taert ot tnaw ew od ro ,noitcurtsed-fles
.eunitnoc nac ew ,egap emas eht no
DOOM EIREE
hcaer nac enoyreve erehw ti tup dna sdrac fo kced a effluhs ll’ew ,strats retpahC siht erofeB
pifl dna eispoohW a ro ogniB a od nac yeht ,sdrawno hsup ot stnaw enoyna revenehW .meht
fI .)ecA ro ,gniK ,neeuQ ,kcaJ a( draC nemO na laever yeht litnu kced eht fo pot eht morf sdrac
morf draC nemO na laever yeht litnu kced eht fo pot eht morf sdrac pifl ll’yeht ,ogniB a od yeht
pot eht morf sdrac pifl ll’yeht ,eispoohW a od yeht fI .)sedapS ro sbulC( stiuS kcalB eht fo eno
.)sdnomaiD ro straeH( stiuS deR eht fo eno morf draC nemO na laever yeht litnu kced eht fo
selur s’retpahC eht tlusnoc ll’yeht ,roloc tcerroc eht fo draC nemO na slaever enoemos nehW
.esiwrehto yas selur eht sselnu draC nemO eht otno dloh dna ,txen sneppah tahw tuo dnfi ot
fo tnemom a s’ereht ,tius thgir eht fo nemO na dnfi yeht erofeb sdrac fo tuo snur kced eht fI
.kced eht otni kcab sdrac demialcnu yna effluhS .teiuq ysaenu
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S
now is a crafty creature. You fall asleep to the first harmless specks falling
from the sky, and in the morning the whole world has been conquered. Hey
Kid pressed their hands against their window, hot breath crystalizing against
the glass. The fields and forests surrounding the Bed & Breakfast were all sparkling
white, indistinguishable from the diffused gray sky above. Their eyes lit up and they
scrambled out of their room and down the stairs still in their footie pajamas.
“Snow day! Snow day! Snow day!” they screamed, hurtling down the stairs. Guests
creaked open their doors to see the little blue devil sliding down the banisters be-
fore landing victoriously right in front of Sal and Parish in the foyer. “SNOW! DAY!”
Parish nearly spilled his coffee all over his winter coat. “Hey, wha? Huh? Ah, yes,
we’re getting ready to shovel the driveway. Don’t know where Amelie’s got to.”
Sal nodded, and adjusted his snow pants.
“Shovel the driveway? That’s it?” Hey Kid crossed their arms. “You’re gonna mess
up perfect sledding weather? You’re not gonna make a single snowman or bean
someone with a snowball?”
“Kid, aren’t you getting a little old for snowballs?” Parish rolled his eyes and
grabbed one of the shovels.
Hey Kid froze in place, their boots in their hands. A thousand thoughts rushed
through their mind: Maybe I AM getting too old for this? Is that what becoming old
is? Or is he just saying that because I’m an annoying little kid? Does Parish hate
me? Why does this hurt so bad? What is wrong with me—
Sal spotted the tears welling up in the corner of Hey Kid’s eyes, and knelt down.
“Hey, hey hey. Don’t listen to Parish, okay? He’s just grumpy because he hasn’t had
his morning coffee.”
Hey Kid sniffled and smiled. “Thanks Sal-sal.”
Sal clapped Hey Kid on the back. “Here’s what you’re going to do. Get everyone’s
attention, get all bundled up—” Hey Kid made a face, and Sal gave them a look. “—
and then we’re gonna have the best snow day of our lives. Okay kid?”
#
308
FUN THINGS TO DO WITH
FROZEN WATER
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At the start of the Chapter, we’ll take turns describing our winter outfits and how many
layers we’re wearing, then write each of the activities below onto a different index card and
put three tokens on it:
+ Snowball Chucking + Sledding + Hot Cocoa Drinking
+ Snowfort Building + Ice Skating + Track Stomping
+ Snowman Decorating + Icicle Licking
At any point during this Chapter, we can declare new activities by writing them down
and putting three tokens on them from the table. Whenever anyone engages with an activ-
ity and does a Bingo or a Whoopsie, they can collect a token from that activity, keeping it
for themself if they did a Bingo or giving it to someone who can learn from their foibles if
they did a Whoopsie.
When an activity runs out of Tokens, tick the Sundown Track. We don’t have to stop
enjoying that activity, but we’ve learned all we can from it. When the Sundown Track is
full, it’s time to go inside for the night. Read from A Sensitive Child to wrap up the Chapter.
SPACE TO REFLECT
A snow day is a respite from the rhythm of life, a time when people can stop and reflect on
what their daily existence means to them and think about whether it’s really working out.
Before the Chapter starts, everyone but Hey Kid chooses one of the questions below, or
invents their own:
+ “How can I spend more time doing the things I love?”
+ “How can I make more room for fun in my life?”
+ “How do I get back in touch with my inner child?”
+ “How do I treat my friends better than I currently do?”
+ “How can I remind myself to be more forgiving to myself ?”
+ “Why do I spend so much time worrying?”
At any point, you can put a token you’ve collected on your Question or on someone #
else’s. At the end of the Chapter, go around and answer your question based on how many 309
tokens you have on it.
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+ Fewer than 3 tokens: Shrug, and move on with your life.
+ 3-6 tokens: Give a short (one sentence) answer, and don’t worry if you’re actually right.
+ 7+ tokens: Ask someone else for their thoughts, and take a moment to figure out
an answer that feels right. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Winter Scarf, or
Festive Mug.
Then keep any leftover tokens for Housekeeping.
A TREACHEROUS WONDERLAND
Everyone has the following additional Bingos:
! Help someone out of the snow.
! Take in the beautiful winter landscape.
And the following additional Whoopsies:
U Bonk someone in the face with a snowball.
U Get snow all up in your clothes.
A SENSITIVE CHILD
Despite Hey Kid’s best attempts, the world has begun to feel like more of a struggle every
day, and they’re left with a lot of questions. Hey Kid starts with a piece of paper with every
question from the Space To Reflect section written on it. Every time Hey Kid hears or thinks
of another question, they write it down on the paper. They can spend three tokens in order
to cross off one of their questions without answering it. At the end of the Chapter, they’ll
attempt to answer every question they have left.
+ If there are no questions left unanswered, Hey Kid goes to bed that night warm
and happy. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Knit Cap. Keep any tokens we’ve
collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
+ If there are some questions left unanswered, Hey Kid struggles to sleep that night,
worrying about the answers. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Knit Cap. Hey Kid
throws their tokens in the trash, but everyone else can keep theirs as Leftovers
for Housekeeping..
+ If Hey Kid cannot answer a single question, Hey Kid has an anxious meltdown in
the middle of the snow. Consult How To Be A Grownup, within the Forbidden
Envelope.
#
310
37
CHAPTER
Our Little Island
z Parish, the Moon Prince p anyone nautical
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F
or six dark days and six cold nights, pounding rain beat the windows of the
Bed & Breakfast, making such a racket that a witch could hardly think. It was
so thick in the air that you couldn’t see through it, and the storm roared on
like it would never end. But then it did end—as endless things tend to do.
Sensing the sudden silence, the Moon Prince pulled aside the curtain to peer out
of the attic window, lifted up the heavy glass pane, and looked out at what had been a
patchwork of fields, hills, and forests less than a week ago. The flood had swallowed
it all: in every direction, as far as the eye could see, the world had become a flat and
shimmering ocean except where the tops of trees and telephone poles poked up
stubbornly from the water. Low-hanging white clouds were perfectly reflected in the
smooth mirror of this brand new sea.
The Moon Prince spotted half a stop sign peeking above the water by what used
to be the road, no longer declaring “STOP,” but a secret word made of half-letters.
The Bed & Breakfast was itself a tiny island, swarming with guests and staff who
were hanging clotheslines from the gutters and collecting detritus that had float-
ed off unattended. The front porch had become something of an impromptu dock
where folks lashed together rafts, and from their vantage point the Moon Prince
could see a wide wooden boat tethered to the porch swing. A small frog frantically
tried to unfurl the sail, and his body strained under the heft of the thick rope.
The Moon Prince cupped their hands to shout, “What’re you doing down
there, Parish?”
Parish looked around for the source of the voice, then waved his little sailor cap
up at them. “A few guests got stuck at the train station, and the B&B needs supplies.
I’m putting a little crew together for a maritime adventure! Would you like to be
first mate?”
The Moon Prince nodded vigorously, grabbed a silver spyglass from their lug-
gage, and scrambled down the stairs as fast as their body would allow.
#
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RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
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During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN
When play begins, the boat first launches from Yazeba’s B&B, and can sail to any adjacent
card, which is revealed when we arrive. We can discuss it as a group, but Parish always gets
final say on where the Boat sails next. Anyone besides Parish can then make the boat sail
there by saying “Aye aye, captain!” and doing a Bingo.
Whenever we arrive in a place with a “!” we each lose a token to navigate the danger— #
and anyone who doesn’t have one must do a Whoopsie about it instead. Whenever we leave 313
a place with a “?” we put it face-down again and swap it with an adjacent face-down card,
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if there are any.
PORT AHOY
When we find the Train Station, everyone who wants to can describe something beautiful
or interesting about how the water sits over the tracks, and everyone gets a token. We each
grab a Guest to play for a little while, until we return to the Bed & Breakfast. (Then, anyone
who wants to get off the boat may go inside, except for Parish and the Moon Prince.)
When we find the Grocer’s, we load up on the stock they’ve laid out on the canoes:
everyone may describe what they fish out of the water for the Bed & Breakfast to receive
one token.
When we find Sal’s car, we’ve got to do an awful lot of hard work (and spend three
tokens, between us) to lash it safely to the aft end of the boat to be towed.
Whenever we return to the Bed & Breakfast, we can choose to end the Chapter. If we
accomplished all three of our objectives, the Bed & Breakfast gets a Sailor’s Cap, but
either way, hold onto any tokens you’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
#
314
40
CHAPTER
Spring Cleaning
z Amelie p anyone with a free set of
hands, flippers, or other appendages
In which Amelie breaks, and everyone else has to help them clean.
T
he sun had cut through the chill and damp of the morning mist, marking #
the first sunny day of the year. Sal strung up his hammock in the garden to 315
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soak up some sunlight and watch the grass sprout. Not long into the morn-
ing, though, his dozing was interrupted by a high-pitched whirring.
Peeking his head over the fence, he saw Amelie, who had thrown a rug over
the clothesline and was attempting to beat the dust from it with their hard metal
limbs, which were twitching ineffectually at their sides, punctuated by the occasional
half-hearted jolt.
Sal’s brow furrowed. “No…Amelie, c’mon, the snow’s barely melted. It can’t be time
yet. And what’s with your arms?”
They turned to him, LED display flickering in disapproval. “The parameters of op-
eration for Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast clearly indicate: We Must Not Waste Such A
Beautiful Day. Come assist me in beating these rugs.”
Sal rolled his eyes—he knew no amount of his slapdash cleaning would ever ap-
pease Amelie. “Why even ask for help if you’re just going to come behind me and
redo it anyway?” he demanded, looking longingly at his comic book.
Amelie was silent, and on anyone else, Sal would have identified the silence as
resentful. Then they spoke, their voice warping. “I seem to have a – a – a – a – a -” And
with that, their voice box crackled into a low-level humming as their eyes dimmed to
minimum power. The night porter leapt out of his hammock as Amelie swayed dan-
gerously. In a minute he had collected the clicking and whirring robot in his arms and
raced inside, the rugs quite forgotten. “Hey! HEY! Get out here! Something’s wrong
with Amelie!”
“Th-there is NOTHING wrong w-w-w-with meeEEE,” they droned in response. “I am
the Amelie 2900; the perfect maidservant-ant-ant. Whenever you c-c-c-an’t, AMELIE
CAN – and you, S-S-Sal, certainly can’t.”
Getrude blinked at them from the lobby couch, a spoonful of soggy cereal halfway
to her mouth. She could all hear Yazeba cursing upstairs (“Fuses afire!”) and stomp-
ing around in search of an instruction manual.
“Wh—what’s happening?” Gertrude asked.
“This-this-this day must not be wasted,” Amelie repeated, and it came out as a
whine. They shook as Sal tried to keep from dropping them. “Spring Cleaning for the
Bed & Breakfast m-m-must comMENCE.”
“Amelie seems to think it’s Spring Cleaning Day!” Sal sighed. “But they must’ve
blown a fuse or something. Their arms aren’t working, and—” he groaned as Amelie
collapsed and the full weight of a metal robot fell on him. “—I’d guess their legs too,
at this point.”
# Amelie’s whirring died down, their eyes blinking dimly in the lobby. If Sal didn’t
316 know any better, he’d say they looked sad. He lugged them over to a free couch and
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0
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
THE LIFE-ALTERING
TECHNOLOGY OF TIDYING UP
Amelie’s self-repair protocol is taking a long time to fix whatever’s wrong with them, but
they remain the B&B’s expert on cleanliness. Any time anyone else does a Whoopsie,
Amelie may consult their Chaos Coins to chide that person. If they were already under
Amelie’s supervision, Amelie succeeds automatically.
+ If Amelie succeeds, they’ll deliver an impressive lecture to the person in
question, give them a Chaos Coin, and assign them a new task under their direct
supervision.
+ If Amelie fails, rather than doing a Whoopsie, the other person convinces Amelie
that they weren’t slacking, just doing the chore differently—and may cross out,
rather than check off, the task they were attempting.
Amelie can only supervise one person at a time. If they’re supervising someone, everyone
else is unobserved—as long as they can avoid doing a Whoopsie.
THANKS FOR THE HELP! #
317
Amelie is used to handling the entirety of the Bed and Breakfast’s housework on their own.
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This means that, often, other people’s cleaning doesn’t live up to their exacting standards…
but it also means they might appreciate new perspectives and a new set of hands.
Any time Amelie feels someone is working exceptionally hard or doing a great job clean-
ing, they may take a Chaos Coin from that person and return it to the table.
Meanwhile, Amelie has access to one extra Whoopsie this chapter: “Ponder the pros and
cons of self-sufficiency.”
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G
ertrude had never seen stars like these before, and she couldn’t help herself.
While the rest of the Bed & Breakfast gathered in the field with blankets and
pillows to watch the constellations, she slipped up the stairs and climbed
through a partially-open window onto the roof, laying against the roof tiles to stare
at the miraculous sky. She had with her a beat-up fantasy novel, her diary, a couple
snacks, and a pillow—all she could ever need.
And she was alone. Or so she thought, before an exuberant voice whispered to
her from across the roof. She jumped, and then caught her breath when she recog-
nized the Moon Prince’s silver pajamas.
“Psst! Hi, Gertrude!”
Without thinking, Gertrude shoved her books back into her pack, but she flashed
a cautious smile and whispered back, “Oh, hey MP…! What are you doing up here?”
The Moon Prince shrugged. “It’s a cloudless night tonight, and I didn’t want to go
up and down all those stairs. I figured I’d watch the constellations up here.”
They fidgeted with the stuffed alien in their arms. Gertrude scooted over, just
enough that there was a little room at the edge of the roof, and the Moon Prince laid
out their shiny blanket. With a groan, they rested their head on the other end of her
pillow. The two lay there for a moment, staring up at the stars.
The Moon Prince pointed up at one constellation in particular. “Look! That’s
Pannychis! It looks so weird from down here.”
“Pannychis?” Gertrude asked. “I don’t think Earth has that one.”
“Oh! Well, if you’re born under it it means you’ll host a lot of really big parties? And
that one over there is Tabernacle, which, umm—er, that is,” they caught themself,
and started stammering. “Sorry, I just get excited, I don’t mean to ramble.”
Gertrude rolled over and gave them a smile. “Don’t worry MP, I’m listening.” Her
hand naturally rested against the back of the Moon Prince’s, who blushed a little, un-
used to people actually listening. They resumed explaining all about Tabernacle with
a halting, giddy nervousness. Gertrude leaned back, rested her head next to theirs,
and stared up at the beautiful stars.
#
320
PENSIVE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll read through it and select Questions to write down on
intermediate cHapters a
index cards, then place as many tokens on each of those Questions as the Chapter asks for.
These questions need to be picked away at. Whenever any of us does a Bingo or a
Whoopsie, they’ll collect a token from one of the Questions, keeping it if they did a Bingo
or giving it to someone who can learn from their mistake if they did a Whoopsie.
WAYWARD TEENS
Gertrude has found a home here, in the rickety halls of the Bed & Breakfast. She’s made
friends, and for the first time in her life, she fits in. But a home is a tricky thing for someone
who’s been burned before, and the stars remind Gertrude of all the people she’ll never see
again.
Even if she’s trying not to talk to the Moon Prince about it directly, there’s a big and
heavy question in her heart. Gertrude chooses one of the questions below, or invents her
own:
+ “How do you learn to trust the people around you?”
+ “How can I hold onto these fleeting moments forever?”
+ “Is it worth it to go back someday?”
+ “What is a home?”
The question starts with 9 tokens on it. Once all the tokens have been removed, every-
one should go around and try to answer it. We can choose whether or not to end the
Chapter here.
CELESTIAL DESTINIES
Moon Prince has found a home here, in the rickety halls of the Bed & Breakfast. They can
be a person here, and for the first time in their life, they feel loved. But a home is a tricky
thing for someone who’s been burned before, and the stars remind the Moon Prince of
distant parents and ice-cold halls.
Even if they’re trying not to talk to Gertrude about it directly, there’s a question big
and heavy in their heart. The Moon Prince chooses one of the questions below, or invents
their own:
+ “How do you learn to trust the people around you?”
+ “How can I hold onto these fleeting moments forever?”
+ “Is it worth it to go back someday?”
+ “What is a home?”
The question starts with 9 tokens on it. Once all the tokens have been removed, every-
one should go around and try to answer it. We can choose whether or not to end the
Chapter here.
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE WORLD #
321
We are here, together, now. At the bottom of the world, staring up at a vast and impossible
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cosmos. In these moments we seek to give meaning to the chaos, to bless the stars and con-
stellations with their names.
Whenever we like, any player may
draw a constellation on an index card,
name the constellation, and move a
token from a Question onto that card
(saying nothing else about it!) For as
long as a token remains on a constel-
lation’s index card, anyone may describe
what that constellation means to them
to take the token from it.
GUIDING LIGHT
Write down the Big Question on another index card.
+ “Where should I go from here?”
This question starts with no tokens. We’re probably not going to successfully and fully
answer this question throughout the Chapter, but we can put one of a token we’ve collected
on it whenever we think it over.
When the Chapter ends, everyone goes around and gives as much of an answer as they
can, based on how many tokens the question has.
+ Less Than 5 Tokens: Shrug, and maybe say somewhere you think could be it, but
is probably wrong.
+ 5-8 Tokens: Give a one word answer, if you have one.
+ 9-12 Tokens: Give a one sentence answer, if you have one. The Bed & Breakfast
gets a Telescope.
+ 13 or more Tokens: Give a full answer, if you have one, then write it down on
an index card & attach it to your Character Sheet as a Keepsake. The Bed &
Breakfast gets a Telescope.
Hold on to any other tokens we’ve collected as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
#
322
53
CHAPTER
Amelie’s Big Day Off
z Amelie, Parish, Sal, p
anyone who feels overworked
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sorted the big pile: “One, two, three for Yazeba, one for room two, one for the rab-
bits, two for the rabbits, one for… Amelie?”
He wiped summer sweat from his brow and stared down at the thick envelope in
his hands, addressed to “Amelie NO FIELD ENTRY,” from the Triple Deluxe Resort
in Mewry Bay. He looked up at the mail cubbies, even though he already knew that
there was no slot for Amelie. They had never received a single letter. Thankfully,
Amelie was at hand, and their wheelies squeaked anxiously as they inched forward
to accept it.
It looked like junk mail to Sal, the kind he usually tossed in the waste bin no matter
whom it was addressed to, but he kept that thought to himself as Amelie clutched
it reverently in both hands, gently tearing one end and sliding out the thick packet
of contents. The top paper featured a commanding text popup in yellow and red:
YOU’VE WON!
“I have received an all-inclusive day of pampering at the Triple Deluxe Resort for
myself and two or more friends,” Amelie read. “A pity. They should have sent it to
someone else. What a waste.”
“What, you’re not going to go? You’ve got to! Have you literally EVER taken a day off
before?” (They had not.) “Hypothetically, who would you bring? Me, obviously, I’m the
only one with a car, but who else?”
Amelie carefully considered whether they had two friends. “Parish,” they said.
“Yeah, the little guy could really use some pampering… PARISH! Put dinner
in the fridge for Yazeba and the rest, we’re going to the spa to get the Triple
Deluxe treatment!”
“Wait…” Parish croaked, “If we’re all going to the spa, who’s watching the B&B?
Hey Kid?”
“It’ll be fine,” Sal insisted, tossing a flannel shirt over his work tee.
The Triple Deluxe Resort was a sprawling, decadent building, all high, cream-col-
ored walls and enormous windows, with an embarrassment of fountains dotting its
gardens and lawns. The Yazeba’s staff looked entirely out of place as they slouched,
hopped and wheeled their way to the front desk for check-in, but the consummate
professionals of the resort took their motley guests in stride after only a moment’s
hesitation. It was hard not to compare their uniformed appearances, straight backs,
and neat name tags to how things were back at the Bed & Breakfast.
An immaculately groomed porter took the voucher from Amelie and typed its
code into a lightning-fast computer. She nodded once and smiled, motioning for
Amelie, Sal, and Parish to follow her. Someone with a tray of lemon water material-
ized nearby, proffering it hospitably.
# As they were escorted from the lobby to the day spa hall, Sal caught Parish looking
324 longingly at the bright, clean kitchen appliances in the staff break room. He turned to
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allow a staff member to place a fluffy white robe over his greasy, stained t-shirt, and
saw Amelie staring at a floating cart of brand-name cleaning supplies being pushed
by a housekeeper with an upturned chin and a handsome apron falling neatly over
their state-of-the-art prosthetic leg. Sal couldn’t tell if it was floating by magic or tech-
nology, and he didn’t much care. Three musicians with the finest instruments money
could buy marched past, heading for the open stage in the lobby. They looked as if
they had no other worry than filling the air with smooth jazz and good vibes.
Sal sighed. Parish sighed. Amelie buzzed softly.
0
RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first return a token to the table.
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Deluxe Resort even exist on the same planet. Everyone has access to the following Bingos:
! “Let yourself relax and be pampered.”
Everyone also has access to the following Whoopsies:
U “Make the resort employees raise one eyebrow.”
U “Comment on how much better the service, food, or facilities are at the resort than
they are back at the B&B.”
TAKE A SOUVENIR
The Triple Deluxe Resort has a fantastic gift shop in the spa that loves to give out free
samples. After a particularly relaxing or enjoyable treatment, anyone can spend a Token to
receive a free sample of that treatment to take home with them. If you do, write it down on
an index card and attach it your Character Sheet as a Keepsake:
O Imported Kraken’s Sea Mineral Bath Salts (Hand-Packed By Mermaids!)
O Reusable Self-Heating Lavender Scented Warming Eye Wrap
O Instant Organic GMO-Free Gluten-Free Corn Syrup-Free Sugar-Free
Juice Packets
O Nourishing Honey Foot and Hand Mask
O Enchanted Obsidian Meditation Stones (Hand-Carved By Canary Island
Obsidian Golems!)
O Self-Regenerating Angelic Vibration Ultimate Relaxation Incense Sticks
#
326
66
CHAPTER
All Hallow’s Eve
z Gertrude, Hey Kid, The Ghoul Gang (who
may be played tonight, even if they are
Locked), p anyone cool enough to hang
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backpack to make sure everything was there. She closed her eyes, and for
the thousandth time she asked herself if this was a good idea, before putting one
hand up against the window and —
SLAM! Gertrude’s door burst open, and she turned around with fear in her eyes.
There, illuminated in the orange glow of the hallway, stood a very small devil with a
very large pumpkin-shaped bucket. “Hey Gertrude!” Hey Kid screamed, and Gertrude
slid her window shut. “It’s Halloween, it’s Halloween! Can you take me trick-or-treating
again? No one else is as good at it as you!”
Gertrude pressed her head against the wall. “No, Kid. I’ve already got plans tonight.”
“Can I come?”
“They’re secret plans,” Gertrude sighed. “Besides, aren’t you getting too old to
go trick-or-treating?” The smoke in Hey Kid’s eyes was enough to tell Gertrude she’d
made a mistake.
“If you don’t let me come, I’ll go bother Yazeba to take me trick-or-treating instead,
and she’ll be angry.”
Gertrude paled and sighed. “Fine, as long as you don’t embarrass me. Grab a jack-
et and meet me outside.”
It wouldn’t be long before the two kids found their way to the old graveyard at the
edge of town. Gertrude hopped the cast-iron fence with the skill of someone who’d
hopped a lot of fences in her life, and took a moment to help Hey Kid through the
bars. A sickly yellow moon hung overhead as they crept through the fields of ancient
graves, until they arrived at a mossy stone courtyard in the midst of the cemetery.
It was dark, but Gertrude could see the outlines of her friends among the tomb-
stones…along with the Ghoul Gang.
“Roy? Liz? Jax? I’m here.”
Roy, the smallest of the ghouls, hopped down from a crumbling edifice and
stepped forward. Moonlight danced in his one eye, the other hanging limply from his
head. “Glad you finally made it. We’ve been waiting ages. Who’s the twerp?”
Hey Kid hid behind Gertrude, and she shrugged. “They’re cool, they can handle it.”
Liz spoke up (startling Hey Kid; somehow she was right behind him). “As long as
they’re not a crybaby.”
Jax stood up and cracked their neck, nearly turning their head all the way around.
“You got the goods?”
Gertrude pushed aside a pile of brown leaves, cracked open her backpack, and
pulled out five thick red candles and a box of chalk. “You know I do. Let’s summon
some ghosts.”
#
328
FORBIDDEN NECROMANCING
Draw a circle onto a piece of paper and place a deck of cards inside it. This will be your
intermediate cHapters a
Summoning Circle. Don’t remove the deck from the circle until the chapter is completed.
(Additional supplies, including candles, ominous runes, animal bones, or crystals, are encouraged
but not required.)
At the start of the Chapter, everyone places their hands in the Summoning Circle and says
the following incantation:
“Oh ghosts of ancient times, we summon thee
this Hallow’s Eve to speak to us thy wisdom.”
The circle is now prepared. Starting with Gertrude and going around counter-clockwise,
each character flips the top card of the deck (keeping the card inside the circle) to discover
how their spiritual energies align this Hallow’s Eve, consulting the Grim Oracle to deter-
mine what it means.
Thereafter, starting with Gertrude, we go around in a circle and ask the ghosts questions:
+ About a time you’re scared you messed up.
ld
+ About a time when you’re not sure you made the right choice.
a wou
Yazeb + About something you’re scared will happen.
e
e if sh
kill m + About a choice you need to someday make.
ing
was do
knew I + About a secret you wish you knew.
rlor
shy pa
this tra
ut + About another character in the circle.
agic, b
trick m
Liz + Do something risky or outrageous, and consult the ghosts about how it goes.
Jax +
Roy, + Confess something embarrassing or weird, and consult the ghosts about how
t’s
think i
seem to it goes.
oooo oo
cool, s
The Ghoul Gang can choose to scare Hey Kid instead of asking a question—revealing
cards from the deck and describing what terrifying and creepy thing lurks in the shadows.
Once everyone has thrice consulted the Grim Oracle, it’s time to end the ritual. Read
Closing The Circle and follow the instructions precisely.
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TWO Two equal concepts caught in perfect balance, unable to let go.
THREE A branching path, a split decision between two worlds relating to the Suit.
FOUR Trapped in one place, unable to move beyond the Suit
FIVE Inversion, denial, unable to access the Suit.
SIX A perilous and dangerous journey, in search of (or surrounded by) the Suit.
SEVEN Trickery, something you thought was reliable turns out not to be.
EIGHT Introversion, self-reflection, seeking that Suit from within.
NINE A plentiful amount of the Suit, which fills your dreams.
TEN An overwhelming quantity of the Suit, passing it on to everyone around you.
JACK Someone in your life who has only just begun to explore the Suit.
QUEEN Someone in your life who understands the mysteries of the Suit.
KING Someone in your life who has mastered and controls the Suit.
You can ask the deck for a second card if you require clarification.
Moon Prince 42
CHAPTER
330
Gets A Job
z the Moon Prince, A Gaggle of Guests,
p anyone who deserves a snack
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A
crisp wind tugged at the Moon Prince’s scarf, threatening to crease the
tidy white sheets of printer paper which bore their cover letter, resume,
and royal pedigree. They placed a hand on the “P/T OPENINGS AVAILABLE”
sign hanging in the window of Cafe Tiara, leaving behind smudged fingerprints, and
shot a nervous thumbs up back to Sal in his car.
Pushing down the unease in their stomach and the aching of their joints, they
fumbled with the door (which was push, not pull) and reconsidered for the twentieth
time whether opening with a joke about having misplaced their actual tiara would be
charming, off-putting, or somehow imply that they were irresponsible.
Behind the register, one solitary soul cast a slouching shadow across the cafe.
The Moon Prince put on their princeliest posture, and declared, “Hello! I saw the
sign in the window—where may I drop off a resume?”
The shadow’s owner tapped a little badge on their lapel that read “Manager,” and
held out their hand, roughly snatching the proffered papers.
“Hired,” the manager said, stuffing the Moon Prince’s papers into a drawer by
the register.
“I am?!” they asked, waves of both relief and horror lapping at the edges of their
voice. “Oh, uh…when do I start?”
The manager threw their yellow apron at the Moon Prince, and grabbed their car
keys. “Now. I’m on break.”
#
332
FRANTIC MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
intermediate cHapters a
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
Anyone can order cookies, croissants, cupcakes, or anything else from the baked goods
section, adding them to their order.
I’LL HAVE THE USUAL #
333
When you want to place an Order, write it down on an index card and wait in line. Whenever
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you get bored or frustrated by the wait, consult your Chaos Coins. On a success, jump to the
front, cutting off whoever else is ordering; on a failure, go to the end of the line.
When it’s your turn to be served, flip your Chaos Coins. If you succeed, you may com-
municate your order to the Moon Prince (or another barista) however you like; if you fail,
you must place your Order without using any of the words on the blackboard.
If the server gets your order wrong, do a Whoopsie at them and go to the back of the
line. If the server gets your order correct, put a big check on the index card and set it aside.
When you’re done enjoying the perfect drink, you may either get back in line to order again,
or take pity on the Moon Prince and offer to step behind the counter to help out.
LEARNING ON MY FEET
The Moon Prince takes a moment (but only a moment!)
before the chapter to familiarize themself with the Cafe Tiara
Chalkboard.
A barista’s job is to guess what each customer’s Order is,
and attempt to prepare it to the best of their ability. To do
this, once they’ve heard the customer’s Order, they’ll write
down what they believe the Order to be on an index card and
consult their Chaos Coins. If the Moon Prince succeeds, they
can show the index card to the customer, and they get $1 for
every ingredient they got correct. If they fail, they completely
bungle the order, and the customer goes to the end of the line.
The Moon Prince can spend $1 to tick the Shift Track.
Once the Shift Track is full, the Moon Prince may end the
Chapter whenever they like, following the rules in the Closing
Time section. The Moon Prince also has the following addi-
tional Whoopsies:
U Forget a step, and remove one of your ingredients from the Order.
U Mix in something weird, and add an extra ingredient to the Order.
U Collect the wrong amount of money for the order, and add a box to the end of
your Shift Track.
CLOSING TIME
When the Shift Track fills up, or if the Moon Prince just has enough and quits, the Chapter
wraps up. If they keep the job, give them either the Bingo “Be generous with my pocket
change” or the Whoopsie “Stress about my next shift at the Cafe,” (if they were not there
already) and the Bed & Breakfast gets a Coffee Cup. If they quit, the Bed & Breakfast
gets a Paper Crown instead. Everyone keeps any checked-off orders they set aside, any
Chaos Coins they’ve collected, and any $1’s they kept as Leftovers for Housekeeping.
#
334
CHAPTER
The Crash
z Sal, Gertrude, p the lonely night
75
(voiced by all other players)
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S
al looked up from his steering wheel and took a breath. Nothing felt real.
The van was dark. Everything else was blinding. An antlered shape peered at
him with curiosity through streaming headlights, and then staggered away.
He blinked at the mangled hood of his van, steam rising from the engine, which was
wrapped around a thin gray ash tree.
Gertrude whispered, “Holy smokes.” Gertrude was in the van, too, which was what
made Sal finally panic.
“You okay, kid?” he asked, twisting in his seat. His body was stiff and alien.
“I think so,” she said, biting her lower lip, which immediately began to chap in the
sudden cold. “Did you hit your head?”
“No. I don’t think so?” Sal couldn’t remember. He put a hand to his forehead, then
stared at his fingers in the black-and-white. He couldn’t tell if he was feeling blood or
sweat on his gloves. They just felt numb.
So he said, “No. I’m alright.”
Gertrude stared at him disbelievingly. He put his fingers to his forehead again to
check for blood. He still couldn’t tell. All he knew was he had to get Gertrude home.
Gertrude nodded and pushed the car door open. It swung away, and she hoisted
herself over the tipped-up passenger side and onto the stretch of unbroken snow
that must have been the road.
“Come on, Sal. We need to start walking. Can…can you get out?” She pulled her
winter coat closer around her, and watched several tiny, cruel snowflakes collect in
the creases of its shoulders.
Sal wasn’t moving.
“Sal?” Gertrude leaned over the car and held out one mitten.
Sal twitched and looked up at her. “Right, right.” He took her hand and pulled
himself out of the van, shivering already. Gertrude’s boots sunk deep into the heavy
snow. Her breath felt like shards of glass in her lungs.
The two of them looked out at the vast expanse before them, and the long, long
march home.
#
336
EERIE MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll shuffle a deck of cards and put it where everyone can reach
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them.
+ Whenever anyone wants to push onwards, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie
and flip cards from the top of the deck until they reveal an Omen Card (a Jack,
Queen, King, or Ace). If they do a Bingo, they’ll flip cards from the top of the
deck until they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Black Suits (Clubs or
Spades). If they do a Whoopsie, they’ll flip cards from the top of the deck until
they reveal an Omen Card from one of the Red Suits (Hearts or Diamonds).
+ When someone reveals an Omen Card of the correct color, they’ll consult the
Chapter’s rules to find out what happens next, and hold onto the Omen Card
unless the rules say otherwise. If the deck runs out of cards before they find an
Omen of the right suit, there’s a moment of uneasy quiet. Shuffle any unclaimed
cards back into the deck.
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If the Night places Hearts cards on Sal’s Character Sheet, he can slide those cards
around, but they can’t overlap. Anything covered is foggy, far away, and inaccessible. When
his entire sheet is covered, he is no longer conscious.
If Gertrude collects the Jack, Queen or King of Hearts, she can find a way to help Sal,
and set aside 1, 2 or 3 Hearts (respectively) from his Character Sheet.
THE QUIET
Gertrude’s going to make it home, if it’s the last thing that she does.
Whenever Gertrude collects a Diamond or Clubs Omen Card, she (silently) names it
after a fear she has and places it on her Character Sheet. She may not speak it aloud to Sal.
If she ever has four or more fears on her Sheet, the Night takes one from her and makes it
true. Gertrude explains what her fear was, and the Night describes how it comes to pass.
If Sal has an Omen Card that matches suits with one of Gertrude’s fears, he can put his
card back in the deck to reassure her as they walk, and she can tell him what the fear is. If
she’s willing to let go of it, Sal takes the card from her and sets it aside.
T
he moody, salty winds brought just must have misplaced it for a moment!”
ill tidings across the bay as I He roared. “I don’t want to talk about my
clutched the Amulet Of Disguise boat, okay! I just left it behind while I was
Self closer to my chest. With its magic, I searching for the lost treasure of Nothma,
no longer looked like the nervous 13-year- and it was stolen away by the evil Witch
old Kumish girl I secretly was, but instead Hagmora! That’s what I get for allowing a
I resembled a brave warrior with battle woman on board…” He finished his sen-
scars and a bushy beard. I tried my best to tence with a murmur of hate and several
think of names for myself, but it was hard vile words so hateful and vile they made
to wholecloth invent a new identity. I’d me flinch.
never had to do it before, but I knew that “So you seek Emperor Zot’s right-hand
the witch was right; and if I could just find woman to get your boat back, and I seek
the perfect name, Captain Redtooth would Emperor Zot himself to overthrow him
have to believe me. and save the world,” I clarified, hope sud-
Suddenly, a man jumped out from be- denly stirring in my womanly chest, dis-
hind a rock, his sword pointed at my guised by male illusions.
throat. “Avast, yee sea-demon! You will The diminutive captain ceased his voli-
not threaten me!” He hollered from behind fugerant curses and looked at me with an
his bushy black beard, his head tilted up to expression of interest. He queried, “But
stare down at me. how can you hope to defeat Emperor Zot?
“I am no sea demon,” I uttered with It’s said that no one can stop him with-
trepidation. “My name is…err…Algar the out the Heartsword, and that’s been sto-
Bold! I’m a knight who seeks the dread pi- len away for ten thousand years. It’s hard-
rate Captain Redtooth.” er to find than the treasure I’m looking for,
Captain Redtooth sheathed his sword and I’ve spent my whole life hunting for
furiously, and murmured with apprehen- the Lost Caves of Nothma!”
sion, “Then I am the one you seek, for I am There was a sudden spark of hope in my
the dread pirate Captain Redtooth, captain eyes as I replied, “Oh but Captain, I know
of the Iron Queen, scourge of the ninefold where the Heartsword is! Will you help me
seas, and slayer of dragons!” He twirled save the world?”
his mustache.
I stared down at the short man with the
black beard. I wondered, “Where is your
ship, then?”
With that mistake Captain Redtooth
grew even more emblazoned than before,
and a red burning glow traveled up his
face. “It’s right around here somewhere, I
THE ADVENTUROUS MOOD
The Concierge serves as the Dragon (and you may do a Whoopsie.)
Mistress (DM) for this chapter. Every play- These rules are from a book that said
er needs a full set of polyhedral dice. When the word “Advanced” on it, but if we can’t
you want to do anything interesting, roll a make heads or tails of them, we can al-
20-sided die + the relevant skill, and try to ways just make up what we think the rules
beat the number the DM gives you. should be. We can even replace them en-
If you roll high, you succeed (and you tirely with another ruleset, if we have one
may do a Bingo.) If you roll low, you fail lying around.
CHARACTER SHEETS
Grace Kumish Captain Redtooth
(Level 2 Knight) (Level 6 Rogue)
HP: 13 (2d10) AC: 13 HP: 33 (6d8+6) AC: 15
STR: 16 DEX: 12 CON: 10 STR: 10 DEX: 16 CON: 12
INT: 15 WIS: 10 CHA: 10 INT: 12 WIS: 8 CHA: 16
Skills: Skills:
Disguise 2 Seafaring 3
Spear-Fighting 2 Swordfighting 2
Horse-Riding 1 Skullduggery 2
Poetry 3 Boasting 2
Inventory: Hornswaggling 1
• +1 Warrior Spear Swashbuckling 1
• Partial Plate Armor Inventory:
• 2d8 gold coins • Pirate’s Cutlass
• Scarf given to her by her mother, that • Pirate’s Cap
she wears to remind herself of her past • Map to the buried treasure of Nothma
• Amulet of Disguise Self, which allows • Compass (broken)
her to assume her alternate identity as • Ship (lost)
Algar The Bold
Note: This stat block is from before Captain
The author of Heartsword forgot to give Grace Redtooth becomes a vampire. Please find the
any Bingos or Whoopsies, but for this Chapter vampire stat block rules in Ogre Magazine vol.
she can borrow Gertrude’s. 3 (June 1982) and apply those to this stat block.
The author of Heartsword forgot to give Captain
Redtooth any Bingos or Whoopsies, but for this
Chapter he can borrow Parish’s.
Almaragion of the Additional Companions
Cloudy Court If someone else is joining Grace on her
quest (such as Zorakiss, Olm the Bard, or
(Level 2 Elf) another character of the reader’s imagi-
HP: 9 (2d6+2) AC: 13 nation), give them an overly vowel-heavy
STR: 12 DEX: 18 CON: 12 name and write it down on an index
INT: 13 WIS: 14 CHA: 10 card. Roll a fistfull of dice to determine
Skills: their Hit Points, a d20 to determine their
Archery 3 Armor Class, and a roll a d6 four times
Survival 2 to assign skill bonuses to four skills from
Sky Magic 1 among the following: Archery, Brawling,
Flight 1 Cooking, Drinking, Forest Magic, Healing,
Inventions, Mathematics, Music, Oddities,
Inventory:
Perception, Pole Vaulting, Risk-Taking,
• +1 Elfin cloud-bow Snake Handling, Sneakery, Swordcraft,
• Crown of the sky-elfs Throwing, Use Crystal, Wizard Stuff…or
• Green tunic any other skill you can think of. Finally,
• Pointy green shoes pick an appropriate Resident or Guest from
the Bed & Breakfast for the new compan-
The author of Heartsword forgot to give ion to borrow Bingos & Whoopsies from.
Almaragion any Bingos or Whoopsies, but
for this Chapter Alle can borrow the Moon
Prince’s. In fact, Alle might want to borrow the
Moon Prince’s pronouns, too.
FEARSOME FOES
If Grace and her companions survive
long enough to oppose the forces of dark-
Emperor Zot
HP: 68 (8d12+16) AC: 18 (16 if the
ness, the Dragon Mistress will require stat
Omnirion Crystal is lost or destroyed)
blocks for Heartsword’s antagonists not
STR: 17 DEX: 15 CON: 14
available in any bestiary. These are includ-
INT: 15 WIS: 8 CHA: 16
ed below. Players are likely to encounter
Hagmora by the time they reach her do- Skills:
main in the Zwargotz Swamp but she may Skull-Hell Magic 3
appear to harass them elsewhere. Emperor Hungering 3
Zot never leaves Mirdroj unless his army Warcraft 3
in the Oz’da pass faces a total rout. Thrall 2
Visions 2
Staff Combat 2
Witch Hagmora Loot:
HP: 64 (7d8+32) AC: 13 (15 if she has • 600,000 gold
stolen or borrowed the Omnirion Crystal)
STR: 7 DEX: 13 CON: 18 • Helm of Shadows
INT: 19 WIS: 16 CHA: 5 • +2 Staff of Devil Command
Skills: • The Omnirion Crystal
Shadow Magic 4 Zot has no Bingos or Whoopsies; only foul
Potions 3 Natures that he uses in their place:
Lurking 2
Spying 2 • Consume that which is sacred.
Scheming 1 • Obsess over the Omnirion Crystal
Insect Empathy 1 • Bring ruin to the world.
• Demonstrate the futility of hope and love.
Loot:
• Pursue my aims no matter the cost.
• 120 gold
• 2d4 random potions from table C
• Hag’s hair bracelet
The author of Heartsword forgot to give
Hagmora any Bingos or Whoopsies, but for this
Chapter she can borrow Yazeba’s, Monday’s, or
both.
#
338
72
CHAPTER
The Debutante Ball
z Yazeba, Gertrude, The Candle Princess (who
may be played tonight, even if she is Locked)
p anyone on their best behavior
a intermediate cHapters
The only signs of its driver were tiny footprints in the snow heading up to the
porch, and a silver-edged envelope daintily floating a foot above the ground. The
old door swung open with a creak and a ding, and Sal nearly jumped out of his skin
when a letter was placed directly in front of him. He picked it up and studied its
delicate craftsmanship, half-expecting it to melt away in his hand. But there it was,
with ”Yazeba” blocked out in sparkling argent ink and a calligraphic hand.
By the time Yazeba was called downstairs and perched her reading glasses upon
her crooked nose, a small crowd had gathered in the lobby, pretending not to be
curious about what kind of mail a witch might receive. She squinted:
To!the!Esteemed!W itch!Yazeba,!she!who!will!bear!no!other!title:
It!is!with!all!respect!owed!to!a! witch!of!your!talents!and!notoriety!
that! We! cordially!invite!you,! along!with!any!worthy!persons!from!
your! coterie,! to! the! debutante! ball! of! Our! daughter,! The! Candle!
Princess,!Maid! of!Midwinter! and! January!Heir,! to!be!held!at!
midnight!on!N ew!Year$s!Eve!at!the!Aurora!Palace.
Yours!truly,!
The!Rushlight!K ing!
It would
your cap
be custom Steward!of!Polaris!&!Boreal!Regent!
ary for y
ac ou,
godmothe ity as the debuta in (dictated!but!not!read)
r, to give nte’s
and a to a
ast befor brief speech
which po e the banq
int your u
the Prin responsib et—at
cess will i
-RK be concl lity to
uded.
# “Bite and blast…is she sixteen already?!”
340 Gertrude, who (being brave or nosy—or aren’t they the same thing sometimes?)
intermediate cHapters a
had hovered just close enough to read over the witch’s shoulder, snickered. “Guess
you’re going to miss board game night!” She faked a stretch and grabbed her book,
ready for a quiet evening in.
“Oh, no, no, no,” Yazeba cackled, snatching Heartsword from her teenage ward’s
hands. “If I have to spend New Year’s at a stuffy fairy party, then frosts afire, you’re
coming with me!”
Gertrude was agog. “Me?!” A shiver of fear danced down her spine.
“Who else? You won’t be bored. There will be plenty of hors d’oeuvres, ball gowns,
dancing, other girls your age…”
Gertrude blushed under her mask. It wasn’t being bored she was worried about.
“Frankly…anyone who can behave themselves, can come along as my…” Yazeba
chewed on the word from the letter before enunciating it with a dismissive wave of
her hand, “…Coterie.”
Everyone of a mind to go quickly cleaned themselves up, except Gertrude, whom
Yazeba took by the wrist into the kitchen (whether it was a punishment or favorit-
ism—or aren’t they the same thing sometimes?) to be dolled up with a few flicks
of a wand. Gertrude protested, at first, but quickly demurred when a zap of ozone
transmuted her threadbare old hoodie into the nicest gown she’d ever been close
enough to touch. It fit her round body in a way she hadn’t known a gown could, and
yet still felt as familiar as the hoodie it had always been.
And then everyone piled into the immaculate Rimes Royce, which purred as it
rose weightlessly into the sky.
0
There are countless words poets have tried to use to capture the grandeur of
the crystal ballroom at the Aurora Palace. The one that felt most apt to Gertrude at
first sight was ethereal. From the glassy tiles (so delicate that she felt like she was
standing on clouds), to pillars filled with frozen fire, to even the starlit rafters of the
dazzlingly high ceiling, the palace was a display of extravagance Gertrude had simply
never seen before in her life. Flickering wisps ferried plates of sherry and shrimp to
important fairy personages while elven aristocrats bickered by a fondue fountain. At
the far edge of the ballroom an enormous double staircase bloomed from mist and
gentle lightning, its banisters arching to rooms and wings unknown.
And at the top of the stairs, the debutante stood, an impeccable figure molded #
into a perfect hourglass by a corseted pearl-white gown, with licks of firelight from 341
a intermediate cHapters
her blazing countenance woven into flaming hoop braids. One of her friends leaned
over and whispered in her ear, and even from the entrance below, Gertrude could
hear the Candle Princess’s laugh—like the crackle of cherrywood burning.
She gazed out over the crowd until her golden eyes caught Gertrude’s, and in an
instant the princess was at Gertrude’s side. She murmured, “I don’t recognize you,
O Masked Stranger—are you a friend of godmother’s? You’ve such a lovely dress!”
She was close enough that Gertrude could feel the warmth radiating off of her, a
sharp contrast to the chill of the palace. The Princess added, hopefully, “Would you
care to join me for the first dance?”
Gertrude gulped, and Yazeba hid a wicked grin behind her faux mink furs.
0
NOW PRESENTING
Before the Chapter begins, starting with Yazeba and ending with Gertrude, everyone
describes their formal wear, and whether or not they look like they belong among the
crisp, dapper courtiers of the Aurora Palace. In Gertrude’s case, her gown is a supernatural
glamour, resembling whatever she thinks would make her feel most beautiful, powerful and
radiant. Gertrude looks like she belongs here.
THE WALTZ
During each rotation on the dance floor, everyone pairs off into partners to Dance, grab-
bing three tokens to place between them.While Dancing, you might literally be dancing
together, piling up your plates at the buffet table, catching a momentary breath of fresh air
on the patio amidst a sparkling snow flurry, or comforting one another through a panic in
the bathroom. In Fairyland, all of these things are Dances. While you Dance and banter
with your partner, at any point you can surprise them with a question. They can then choose:
+ Sweep you off your feet and avoid the question, doing a Bingo and giving you
the token.
+ Dance around the answer, and ask you a question of their own.
+ Miss a step and answer the question fully, taking a token and doing a Whoopsie
about it.
Once all three tokens have been taken (or whenever you break apart), the two of you tick
up the Midnight Track (located at the end of this Chapter) and split apart.
#
342
THE ART OF WALLFLOWERING
If you find yourself without a Dance partner, whether because there are an odd number of
intermediate cHapters a
players or your Dance has concluded, you have a number of options available to you:
+ You may scrawl a message, rumor, or a bit of gossip with your finger in the frost on
a colonnade. Write it down on an index card, to be perused by other wallflowers
over the course of the night.
+ You may tick up the Midnight Track to hobnob with the assembled courtiers, and
add two tokens to your next Dance.
+ You may tick up the Midnight Track to help out the courteous waitstaff, and
collect a token immediately.
+ If you spy someone else who’s unpartnered, you may approach and join them,
starting a new Dance with three tokens between you.
+ And of course, you may interrupt someone else’s Dance with the question, “May I
cut in?” and if they say yes, their former partner collects all the remaining tokens
between them and must split off on their own, while you start a new Dance with
three tokens between you.
a intermediate cHapters
Yazeba must choose one of the following responses, instead of those listed under The Waltz:
+ Take the lead and answer the question behind the question, doing a Bingo and
giving her partner a token she’s collected.
+ Pirouette the question around, and force her partner to give their own answer.
+ Refuse the Dance and deny the validity of the question, doing a Whoopsie and
breaking off with her partner. She collects the remaining tokens between them.
If Yazeba and the Candle Princess ever Dance, Yazeba follows her own rules unless her
goddaughter has collected more tokens than her.
When the track is filled, a countdown begins to the stroke of midnight. The Candle Princess
finds Gertrude and makes her best guess as to her nature.
If Gertrude thinks the Candle Princess is in any way correct, she can invite her back to
the Bed & Breakfast and we may unlock the Candle Princess as a Guest. If Gertrude feels
the Candle Princess is wholly wrong, the two part ways with much unspoken.
Either way, Yazeba is sleepy and wants to go home. She’ll wrap up the chapter with a
toast, and the Bed & Breakfast gets a Bottle Of Champagne. We’ll hold on to any tokens
we’ve collected for use as Leftovers during Housekeeping.
The Front Doorstep
Hey Kid’s Arrival
Andreas Turg always preferred stormy nights. When he was younger he fancied
it a sort of wicked temperament, and as he grew older he understood them as
part of his calling. He was a handsome man, although few saw his gleaming
eyes from behind his billowing crimson robe. The magic performed by himself
and his friends in the darkness of those stormy nights was condemned by
all who heard of it, but his loyalties always sat against the grain. He smiled to
himself, as he performed the final rites of the ritual. They stood around the
bloody altar, the howling of wolves and the churning of thunder providing the
perfect backdrop for his dread operation.
The wicked knife plunged deep into the screaming maw. Starving blood
spurted forth, and Andreas almost flinched as it ate at his skin. If the prophets
were right, and the angels do truly watch over the actions of man, then Andreas
was sure that in this moment even they must turn their gaze away in disgust at
what he has done tonight. With one scalded hand he reached into the hissing
deep and pulled forth the beating heart of hate, calling forth a name of loathing
and rage. He became the midwife of the apocalypse, and over the wailing of
the void and the howling of the gale, his will became true.
“Idiot boys. What have you done?”
Lightning snapped behind the open door, and the woman’s words whispered
louder than the thunder. Andreas turned, blistering blood pouring down his
robes, to face the intruder upon his ritual.
“You’re too late. The heir to armageddon has arrived. The Starving King will
ride once more through the gates of Hell. The world’s death now has a name,
and someday we will seize the throne of life and feast upon the bones of—”
“Flames afire, will you be quiet? I’m thinking.” The only light in the room
came from the woman’s ashy cigarette.
Andreas snorted, and picked up his ritual knife from the altarpiece. “Useless
witch. Why should I care about your thoughts?”
“Because I’m deciding whether or not to kill you.” Yazeba tossed her cigarette
aside. “And I’ve made up my mind.”
Magic carries many monstrous properties, but chief amongst them is this; it
is always easier to destroy than it is to create. It took a quarter of a century for
Andreas Turg to become the man he was that night. Yazeba needed less than
a minute to completely unmake him. All that was left in that room when she
was done was a mewling beast atop a bloody altar, and a few singed scraps of
crimson fabric, settling gently to the ground.
Yazeba was here to kill the apocalypse. That was the deal she made with the
Rushlight Court. She was chosen specifically because of her heartlessness,
her ruthlessness, her willingness to travel the shadow paths where few dare
return. But when she approached the altar, and gazed down upon the end of
the world given form, the molten heat gave way to a gentle blue metal, and for a
moment the apocalypse resembled a crying child. Yazeba felt a churning in her
ribs, a phantom organ twitching. She sighed, and with one exhausted motion
pulled the clumsy, harsh name bound within the child’s heart out of the flames
and tossed it amongst the pages of her spellbook. Yazeba took the creature
which was once the end of the world, and was now just a nameless baby, and
~
pressed them against her unbeating chest.
By the time Yazeba came storming through the rain-soaked door into her
kitchen, Parish had just started preparing dinner for two. He always made
dinner for her, even when she was gone for days on end. While Yazeba wasn’t
often good company, the house was even more lonely than usual without her.
The rain entered the kitchen with her, crashing into the floor and soaking into
the mats. She had something bundled up under her arm.
“Where have you been?” Parish tossed two carrots onto the cutting board.
“Witchy business.”
“What’s that you have with you?”
“I found them on the front doorstep.” Yazeba placed the swaddled scarf
onto the kitchen table, where it unfolded to reveal a small blue child, with two
nubbins for horns and bright catlike eyes.
“You did?” Parish glanced up at her. “I swear I would’ve heard if someone
had been knocking. I was just out there and I didn’t see a thing.”
“The front doorstep.” Yazeba sat down into her favorite chair, and Parish
knew better than to push her further on the topic. “I suppose we have another
guest.”
“So they won’t be living here? I imagine a child could help liven the Bed &
Breakfast up a little bit.”
“Stop calling it that.” Yazeba groaned and pressed her face into her hands.
“We’ll hold onto the child until we find some good parents for them. Someone
who can love them for who they are.”
Parish shrugged, and pulled a third small carrot from the pantry. And that is
the story of the nameless child (who we would someday call Hey Kid) came to
live at Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast.
#
347
Resident
Journeys
#
348
Gertrude’s Journeys
ReSident JouRneyS a
the summoning of
the heart sword
EXCERPT FROM HEARTSWORD
A
nd now, with the powers bestowed upon me by the Omnirion Crystal
at the Great Eclipse, I can ascend the steps of hell and claim my
rightful place upon the throne of Chasmodus, destroying the world
and reshaping it in my own image! Now everyone will love me, and I will
rule this new world of my own creation!”
I watched with a combination of horror and terror as Emperor Zot
donned the Coldest Crown and waved his Staff of Devil Command against
the stormy sky. Wolves howled and goblins cackled as the Ashen Gate flick-
ered to life, its ancient bells tolling the arrival of a new age of perpetual
gloom. Perhaps when I was in my masculine alter ego, I would've been strong
enough to break free from these chains. But with the loss of my persona and
the adoption of my feminine weakness, I was unable to fight back against the
Devil-King of Chasmodus.
I struggled against my restraints as Emperor Zot ascended before the
Ashen Gate. His open chest revealed rows upon rows of skeletal ribs, holding
back an army of Infinite Darkwolves. Alle and Zorakiss couldn’t escape their
imprisonment, and even Captain Redtooth’s vampiric fangs couldn’t bite
through Emperor Zot’s adamantium cages. Even that evil Hagmora, bound
by imps commanded by Emperor Zot's Staff of Devil Command, was unable
to stop his cruel ascension. The world was doomed, and it was all my fault.
If only I hadn’t thrown away my power to wield the Heartsword in order to
save my friend’s life!
But as I sat in my cage staring up at the Emperor, I realized perhaps I had
what he always wanted. Through the bars of my cage I grabbed the bard and
Alle’s hands, and slowly we formed a circle of hands around the evil wizard.
I could feel my heart burn with passion. I reached into my chest and pulled
a glowing fuschia broadsword from between my ribs. This is it — the fabled
Heartsword! Maybe the real strength I’ve always needed to defeat Emperor
Zot, along with the key to unlock the fabled sword that is needed to defeat
him, has always been my friends.
Sometimes I feel like I’m at a crossroads in my life, y’know?
At the end of a Chapter, if I learned some magical secrets, gained
THE WITCHING PATH
experience with a new and unfamiliar creature, or earned Yazeba’s approval, put
your leftovers towards the Apprentice track. When you fill 4 segements, add what kind
of magic I’m fixating on to my Facts About Me. At 9, give me the Bingo: “Work a tiny magic
from my area of interest.” At 13, replace my Journey with “The Next Yazeba?” At the end of a Chapter, if the
chapter was all foolishness or a waste of time, put my leftovers towards the Teen track. When you fill 5
segments, add a frivolous hobby, unbefitting a serious witch, to my Facts About Me.
At 10, give me the Bingo: “Tell someone why I care
about them.” At 15, replace my Journey with “The
Lightheart Girl.”
I’m learning to be a witch! Finally! Whenever the Destiny Track fills up, erase it and look at these lists. Make a
choice from the first list that hasn’t yet been chosen from, and write a fact about it under my Facts About Me:
1. Fire Magic / Shadow Magic / Sea Magic / Cloud Magic
2. Wand / Staff / Flute / Sword
THE NEXT YAZEBA?
For the first time in my life, I think I’m happy. Fold and staple five sheets of paper into a little
booklet, and draw a big heart on the front cover. This is my fresh new diary; keep it with my
character sheet. After every Chapter, write down a few big feelings you want to remember forever
THE LIGHTHEART GIRL
about my time at the Bed & Breakfast. When I fill the second, fourth and sixth pages, pick one and
check it off:
O Give me the Bingo, “Recognize my limitations.”
O Give me the Bingo, “Take care of myself.”
O Give me the Bingo, “Trust that I will be taken care of.”
O Add “I have a good life” to my Facts About Me.
O Think about taking off my mask. If I do, rewrite my Facts About Me about my appearance.
When you fill the eighth page, put the diary with the Bed & Breakfast, draw a flaming heart on my
Character Sheet, and give me a Spare Journey.
#
350
HEY TEEN
Every time Mature fills up, something new happens. Once you follow the instructions,
erase all the stats in the radar chart and start fresh again.
Teen Stickers
COOL TEEN BINGO: COOL TEEN BINGO:
! Pull off a sick stunt. ! Glide past a problem on devil-may-care
charisma.
a ReSident JouRneyS
Add a new piece of paper to Hey Kid’s character sheet labeled
“Facts About Me,”and from the lists below,choose a fact from each
list for each point Hey Kid has in that meter. If Hey Kid has less
than five total new facts, consult How To Be A Grownup, within the
Forbidden Envelope.
Cool Facts:
+I have huge leathery wings that give me a bonkers wingspan.
+I’m really good at skateboarding, and can do awesome tricks.
+I wear flamboyant outfits to reflect my inner personality.
+I have really good taste in books, movies, and music.
+I struggle a lot with dysphoria, but deep down I know I can figure it out.
+I want to grow up to be a rad pop star.
Deep Facts:
+ I have a third eye on my forehead that can see into the beyond.
+ Even when I argue with others, I can still see their point of view.
+ I like to write poems to express myself, and they mean a lot to me.
+ I try to spend time appreciating the little things in the world.
+ I struggle a lot with feeling overwhelmed, but deep down I know it’s okay.
+ I want to grow up to be a social worker.
Creative Facts:
+I have a halo of flame that can change colors at will.
+I’ve taught myself to be a really good artist.
+I love imagining new worlds and the characters that inhabit them.
+I’m practicing the ukulele, and it’s okay that I’m not very good right now.
+I struggle a lot with depression, but deep down I know it’ll be okay.
+I want to grow up to be a comic illustrator.
Funny Facts:
+ My tail is really big and I can bounce around on it like a pogo stick.
+ I have a good sense of comedic timing, and I can make people laugh.
+ I really love to make people smile.
+ I’m good at respecting people’s boundaries.
+ I struggle a lot with anxiety, but deep down I know I’m loved.
+ I want to grow up to be an actor.
#
352
the third (and final)
time Mature fills up...
ReSident JouRneyS a
Choose a new Journey for Hey Kid based on whichever stat (besides mature) has the most
Fluff in it. If two or more meters are tied, pick your favorite.
+ Cool: Dope Tricks And Sick Flips
+ Deep: Little Demon, Big Thoughts
+ Creative: The Best Comic In The World
+ Funny: Goofs, Bits, Pranks, And Assorted Chicanery
I’m surrounded by slowpokes a lot of the time, which makes my role really clear: it’s up to me to
remind everyone how to be cool and gnarly! Whenever I do something from the list below, check it off.
DOPE TRICKS and SICK FLIPS
In between the laughs and the high-flying adventures, my life, my friends’ lives, the world—it’s all
this interlocking puzzle. I’m not sure how to express the question at the center of everything, but
LITTLE DEMON, BIG THOUGHTS
when you select this Journey, pick a form for it to take, and write it down on a notecard attached
to my character sheet:
O Why are we here?
O What actually matters?
O What’s broken about us?
O Another question of your devising: ______________________?
Whenever I complete a chapter, start writing down an answer to the question, spending one leftover
to write one word. If the index card fills up, ask yourself if, holistically, what you’ve written answers
the question. If it does, write “Sweetheart” on top of my Character Sheet and I get a new Journey
(Either pick from the other Hey Kid Journeys or from the Spare Journeys). If it leaves me scared and
unsure, consult consult How To Be A Grownup, within the Forbidden Envelope.
#
I am writing a comic book, the greatest comic book anyone’s ever seen. Take a bunch 353
a ReSident JouRneyS
of extra Hey Kid Comic pages and staple them together into a booklet. At the end
in the WORLD
of each Chapter, spend leftovers to draw more panels in the comic on a 1-to-1 basis
(don’t worry about art style!) The comic can be as long or as short as you’d like. Once
I’m done with the comic, give it to the Bed & Breakfast. Write “Artist” on top of my
Character Sheet, and I get a new Journey. Either pick from the other Hey Kid Journeys
or from the Spare Journeys.
Life’s all about kicking back, having fun, and pulling off goofs. Whenever I do something from the list
below, check it off.
GOOFS, BITS, PRANKS, and
ASSORTED CHICANERY
I think I’m actually doing it! I’m working every day, but I’m on the long road to fame. Whenever this Track
fills up, erase it all, check off one of the boxes below, and put my character sheet aside.
O I can’t make it to the next Chapter—I’m busy with a concert, recording, party, festival, or jam session.
O For as long as I’m on this Journey, I’m so excited I can’t sleep.
REALLY MAKING IT
O For as long as I’m on this journey, I have the Whoopsie: “Step out to take a call from my producer.”
O For as long as I’m on this Journey, I’m very tired.
O For as long as I’m on this journey, I have the Bingo: “Encourage someone to follow
their dreams.”
O I don’t even remember the last time I felt like myself.
When I begin a chapter with every checkbox filled, I’ve hit my limit. Weigh down
my Bingos and Whoopsies with exhaustion. If anyone has a heart-to-heart with
me which makes me reconsider who and what my music is for, replace this Journey
with “The Bard Of Veilridge.” Otherwise, I’ll keep running myself ragged.
Sometimes you realize the life you’re building isn’t the one you want. It’s time
for me to bring my music back where it comes from. When I start this
THE BARD OF VEILRIDGE
Journey, attach a new page to my character sheet and write Songs For
My Friends at the top. At the end of each Chapter, turn each leftover
into a word in a song lyric on my Songs For My Friends page.
O Yazeba O Hey Kid O ________
O Parish O Amelie O ________
O Gertrude O Moon Prince O ________
Whenever someone (or a group of someones!) is in crisis, heartbroken, or bored—or if the spirit seizes me—I
can serenade them a little with something from the Songs For My Friends page. If it helps, I’ll check them off or
fill in one segment of the Bonfire Track. When everything is filled out, cut out the very best lyrics from the Songs
For My Friends Page and paste them over that Rolling Bones interview I used to plan on. I get a Spare Journey.
Parish’s Journeys #
355
a ReSident JouRneyS
Once upon a time, in a far off kingdom, there was a very brave knight: Me! Sure, I haven’t done many
knightly deeds lately, what with a Bed & Breakfast to feed, and I might be a tiny frog now, but I’ve still
got the chops for heroism and adventure and I find myself missing those days of yore. Check off the
following things as they happen, or spend three leftovers to cross one out:
THE GLORY DAYS
O Dust off the ol’ suit of armor and take it for a spin…
O …then wreck it.
O Slap someone with a white glove and challenge them to a duel…
O …and regret it.
O Forge a new sword from rare, legendary metals (perhaps with a shining jewel on the crossguard) …
O …and forget where I put the damn thing.
O One of the kids calls me their hero.
Once every item on this list has been checked off or crossed out, perhaps it’s time I admit that my
knightly years are behind me. Replace this Journey with “Frog-Life Crisis.”
Sometimes I worry I haven’t experienced life enough, that there’s all these amazing activities
and events I’ve missed out on, that I’m still a bachelor after all these years. It’s no matter! I’m an
adventurer, after all—and what’s the greatest adventure if not tackling life itself? Check off the
following things as they happen, or spend three Leftovers to cross one out:
FROG-LIFE CRISIS
These kids are starting to grow up, and I can’t let their only teacher be a grumpy old witch. I want to
teach them all the skills I know, because someday they’re going to be the ones in charge of the Bed &
THE NEXT GENERATION
Breakfast. Whenever I teach someone younger than me a skill from the list, check it off and give them
the associated Bingo or Whoopsie.
O How to grill the perfect burger. / Bingo: “Step in and calmly address the problem.”
O How to scramble the perfect omlette. / Whoopsie: “Make a big mess all over the place.”
O How to rescue princesses from tall towers. / Bingo: “Offer someone a rose.”
O How to slay dragons in their evil lairs. / Whoopsie: “Declare someone is my nemesis.”
O How to live a full, courageous life. / Bingo: “Recall a bit of ol’ Parish’s wisdom.”
Once I’ve checked these all off, I’m a proud old frog indeed. Write down another sign of my age ( gray
skin / forgetful / a cane / etc). and give me a Spare Journey.
Amelie’s Journeys
#
356
ReSident JouRneyS a
Facts About Me
↳ My name is _______________.
↳ I am __________________.
↳ I use ______________ pronouns.
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
↳
Yazeba’s Journeys
#
357
a ReSident JouRneyS
Hey Zeeba, it’s me. Just checking in. You’ve been quiet for a while.
YOU OKAY IN THERE?
get strong enough to just deal with it, but I’m really starting to really
feel the weight of everything. While I’m on this Journey, if I want to push through and
do something physically taxing, I have to cross off one of my Planets. When I have no
Planets left to cross off, I’ll go lie down and take a nap somewhere. My player may grab
another character to play for the rest of the Chapter, and when it ends, anyone may spend
five leftovers to erase the slash over one of my Planets. Whenever I have to
leave a Chapter early, I immediately mark the Alien track. Once the Alien Track
is completely full, replace this Journey with “Low Orbit.”
a ReSident JouRneyS
#
R ent & Taxes
Parish’s Arrival and How
The B&B Came To Be
It all started innocently enough, with one down-on-his-luck knight appearing on
her doorstep to beg for a countercurse.
“I throw myself upon thy mercy,” the frog knight had said. Which was a
mistake, because Yazeba wasn’t sure she had any mercy left to throw oneself
upon. If she did, it was probably hard. And spiky.
But he didn’t leave when she told him that she couldn’t break his curse,
and he promised to make himself useful around the place if he could shelter
there while he figured out his next steps. And so he did; he was a simple cook,
accustomed to boiling foraged soup in a helmet over a campfire, but before the
witch knew what had happened, he’d dutifully weaned her off of her routine of
table crackers and diet sodas. She suddenly found herself taking two or more
meals a day. Sometimes there was even a vegetable.
“There’d be more zucchini; I’ve read the almanac you left downstairs and
it’s prime harvest season,” Sir Parish told her some weeks later, “But, well, it
seems you have an infestation. Of rabbits.”
“Undermining my fortress?” she fumed.
“They are quite cute, for what it’s worth?”
“Well. We’ll just see about that.”
That afternoon, the witch toiled in fumes and blazing heat, concocting an
enormous vat of bubbling poison in the darkness of her study. Puddles of it
sizzled where they splashed the floorboards as she hoisted it clumsily down
the stairs and out onto the gentle green of the lawn. But for some reason, she
found that she suddenly felt… well, a little silly? So she hesitated on tipping it
over into one of the many, many rabbit holes. Was she really going to lay waste
to her own backyard, just to keep the wildlife out?
She collapsed by the cauldron to catch her breath, and caught sight of
a handsome, tawny rabbit in a blue waistcoat, blinking at her from another
warren exit, closer to the garden.
“Listen well, little beast,” she smoldered at it. “This is my hut, which is where
a witch comes to be left alone, and I paid dearly for it. If you and your ilk insist
on burrowing holes, the least you can do is share the fruits of my garden
with my—” She hesitated, not sure what word to use to describe Parish, before
settling on “My visitor.”
The hole in her chest ached. The rabbit twitched his nose, and disappeared.
And with that, the precedent was set. No matter how impenetrable her lair
was supposed to be, she’d allowed the frog and the rabbits to buy their way in,
and so could everyone else. She complained viciously of the imposition when
the Lyranthiel elves came upstate to hide away from some socialite gossip.
Despite her unpleasantness, they left behind a chest of gold and rubies she
could use to fix the roof. She scowled at the wet footprints the lady of the lake
left in her hallway leading to and from the bathroom, but the lady’s ancient
coins spent easily enough, even if you had to scrape the algae off of them.
“You’ve collected quite a lot of rent,” Sir Parish told Yazeba one day. “You’re
going to have to, ah, do some paperwork if you don’t want tax collectors sniffing
around here.”
Yazeba told him she didn’t have time, and she’d “handle that” when it came
to it, but he continued to pester her all week. It seemed he’d interpreted what
she’d said as a threat, and taken up the quest of saving the tax collectors’ lives
(whether they deserved it or not).
On the day of the deadline he asked her, “What’s the… name of this business?”
and when she regarded him icily, he explained, “I don’t know if I’m filing the
right forms, but it needs a name, regardless.”
“What do I care?” she asked, waving her cigarette and retreating up the
stairs. “There is no business. None of their business.”
So Parish frowned at the forms, gripped the pen in both webbed hands, and
wrote: Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast. And so it became true.
#
363
Late
Chapters
#
364
a late chaPteRS
she reread her favorite book. It was called Heartsword, and it was the most
prized and well-loved book on her shelf; a thrilling fantasy adventure about a prin-
cess forced to disguise herself as a man in order to defeat an evil emperor. If you
asked Gertrude, she’d have a lot to say about its secret themes of girlhood and
self-discovery, and the small shelf of sequels and spinoffs clustered on her night-
stand were covered in sticky notes and annotations.
Casting her eyes up from the purple prose to a special dress hanging, fresh-
ly laundered, from her closet door, Gertrude decided that today was going to be
her birthday.
Donning it, she danced into the living room to announce the news. Hey Kid was
up early working on a couple pages from their comic, and the Moon Prince had fall-
en asleep in one of the big chairs. Hey Kid looked up and waved a marker. “Morning
Gertie! Nice dance moves.”
Gertrude smiled. “Thanks! It’s my birthday!”
Hey Kid leapt into the air, scattering art supplies everywhere. “It’s your birthday?!
Today?! Why didn’t you tell us?”
“I’m telling you right now, aren’t I?”
“MP, wake up!” Hey Kid threw their comic at the Moon Prince, who awoke in a
flurry of marker-bled printer paper. “We have to make invitations for everyone in the
whole B&B!”
The Moon Prince gasped and shoveled comic pages off of themself, wiping sleep
from their eyes. “It’s your birthday? Oh no, I don’t even have a present…”
Gertrude grinned, and danced off into the foyer. “Then you better figure some-
thing out, dude!”
For the next couple of hours, the Bed & Breakfast was overtaken in a flurry of ac-
tivity, as Hey Kid ran up and down the halls passing out notes to everyone they could
find. Sal and Parish held council in the kitchen like generals preparing for war, decid-
ing on a menu (“Heaven above forgive me, it’ll have to be a potluck,” muttered Parish)
and creating a list of party supplies to run out and grab in Veilridge. Amelie grabbed
a floppy disk from the back office labeled “Birthday Celebrations For Dummies” and
diverted all available power from Sanitation Mode to Decoration Mode.
Gertrude hand-delivered one invitation in particular: a note that said, “I’ve decid-
ed it’s my birthday, if you’d like to join us,” in her big, loopy handwriting with hearts
dotting every i. It felt strange to slip it under Yazeba’s door (as if the witch needed
an invitation to a party in her own house!) but nobody had heard from her in weeks.
Gertrude hoped that she saw it, if she was even in there.
#
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0
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RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
a late chaPteRS
her birthday party wearing anything less than a look. From the list below, choose at least one
outrageous statement accessory and describe the outfit you’ve designed around it.
+ Some over-the-top makeup, perhaps with a clown nose.
+ A colorful jacket with tons of pockets, all full of streamers and confetti.
+ Huge, puffy pants.
+ A hat you found in the bottom of your suitcase, that you think is very
spiffy indeed.
+ A dazzling suit or dress from when you were younger.
+ A top hat full of The Rabbits, since there’s nothing more fun at a party than
stage magic.
+ A mystical corsage, decorated with ancient gems and runes amid ageless flowers.
+ A pendant that declares, in bold, glittery letters, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
+ A pair of colorful oversized sunglasses.
+ Leather boots with high heels made of knives.
+ The birthday cape (a Moonish tradition).
+ A big red bow.
+ A trumpet.
Additionally, if you choose to wear a pointy party hat, start the Chapter with an extra token.
GERTRUDE’S WISHLIST
While everyone else is setting up the party, Gertrude should think about what she’d like for
her birthday, making a list that’s a little longer than the number of players. She should write
and circle a number next to each item, from 1-5, indicating how hard she thinks it would be
to get. When she’s done, she’ll put it in the middle of the table with the cake for everyone
to see.
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368
FROM 6 UNTIL QUESTION MARK
late chaPteRS a
After everyone is done setting up their index cards it’s time to greet all of the guests as they
arrive, catch up and hobnob, and get the party started. We can move on to the “Let’s Get It
Started!” section
Whenever someone does a Bingo, mark the Party Track. When we complete the first table,
we’ll move on from “Let’s Get It Started!” to “Let’s Get Wild!” and when we complete the
second table, we’ll move on to “Let’s Get Cake!”
Mingling
During this first stage, everyone has the following extra Bingos:
! Help someone else feel welcome and included.
! Introduce two of your friends to each other, and tell them what they have
in common!
! Reveal an extra surprise you brought, adding another index card with party
decorations of potluck food to the middle of the table.
And the following extra Whoopsies: #
U Clumsily introduce yourself to someone else. 369
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U Remark upon the weather, current events, or the drive here (especially if you did
not drive here).
surprise arrivals
Friends old and new might be fashionably late, and this is the sort of party absolutely
anyone might drop into! Anyone may spend a token to give voice to a stranger from a
previous Chapter, to introduce someone new, or even to bring in a Character from another
beloved media franchise.
If somebody wants to play them, give them 4 Bingos and 4 Whoopsies, writing them
down on an index card whenever you think of one. Otherwise, they can hang out in the
background.
special events
Anyone who has a Special Event planned may initiate it by putting aside two or more
of their tokens, getting everyone’s attention, and making an announcement. Anyone who
wants to participate may; everyone else can continue the festivities while they observe.
The planner determines how to organize their Special Event, and at the end, can award
the tokens they set aside to the participants as they see fit.
while to get everyone grooving. Add an index card that says “Dancing!” to the party.
Anyone who wants to may show off their best moves, tempt someone else onto the
dance floor, or request an absolute banger from whoever’s DJing—anything that spices
things up and gets everyone moving—and place some of their tokens on the Dancing! card.
The more tokens on the card, the rowdier things get:
+ 0-1 tokens: One or two attendees are shuffling in the corner.
+ 2-4 tokens: There’s still plenty of room on the dance floor to make a real fool
of yourself, if you’d like! Everyone has the Whoopsie: “Clown around with an
embarrassing dance.”
+ 5-8 tokens: The dance party has spilled out of the dance floor. Everyone has the
Whoopsie: “Boogie your way into or out of a conversation.”
+ 9+ tokens: Everyone is flushed and loose. When the Chapter ends, the Bed &
Breakfast gets a Bottle of Cider.
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champion to oversee the distribution of slices. Gertrude gets her slice and a token immedi-
ately, but everyone else must do the Bingo “Wait patiently in line,” to get cake, after which
they can take two tokens back if they comment on how delicious and indulgent it is.
gertrude’s presents
While chowing down on cake, everyone but Gertrude takes an index card and secretly
writes down a present for Gertrude, then folds it in half so it can’t be read. If you want to
give her something from her wishlist, you’ll have to spend that many tokens; if you want to
give her something she doesn’t even know she wants, decide for yourself how many tokens
to spend. Once everyone’s ready, Gertrude will start opening presents, beginning with the
one thrust in her direction most excitedly.
If Gertrude loves your present, she’ll draw a heart on her Character Sheet with your ini-
tials in it. If there’s one present she’s absolutely the most touched by, she’ll draw a heart on
the giver’s Character Sheet with a G in it.
AFTERPARTY
Once the cake is served and Gertrude has opened her presents, the party (and this Chapter)
are technically both over.
But we know how parties work, don’t we? They have a way of dragging on into the night,
the last visitors lingering until the first rays of sunlight crawl through the trees. Hang out
for a while, sit in this space together. Enjoy the party. Perhaps there are adventures still left
to be done—a midnight climb up to the watering hole, a campfire story, a secret moment
shared beneath the stars. The Chapter ends once we’re all ready to pack up and go home,
and Gertrude describes her final feelings around the party.
The Bed & Breakfast gets a Birthday Cake and a Paper Crown. Everyone keeps
their tokens and their uneaten potluck cards as Leftovers to use during Housekeeping.
Gertrude takes all the presents she values most as Keepsakes, and can turn the rest into
Leftovers as well.
#
372
77
Yazeba Casts A Spell CHAPTER
z Yazeba, Gertrude, p anyone feeling magical
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Yazeba was keeping to herself more than usual, holed up in her study. Even
when Yazeba was around, she barely participated in conversation anymore—not even
offering up her usual snide quips or derision. Gertrude had certainly taken note, and
was hoping others had, too.
“Do you think Yazeba’s alright, Sal?” she asked one morning, earning a distracted
“Uh-huh” from the night porter. Gertrude watched as he tuned his guitar at the front
desk, paying little mind to their conversation or Gertrude’s growing dread.
“You don’t sound that convinced…”
Sal paused to let out a sigh, his face betraying the argument he’d been having in
his own head—whether to stay out of Yazeba’s business, or to acknowledge how
strange the witch had been acting. But before the first option could inevitably win
out, someone else spoke up.
“Yeah, what the heck’s up with Yazeba?”
Both Gertrude and Sal turned to see Hey Kid hanging upside-down from the
couch, observing.
“How come she’s actin’ all weird and runnin’ all over the place? Ain’t today s’posed
to be her off-day?”
“Maybe something urgent came up?” Gertrude offered, only for Sal’s scoff
to interject.
“Nothing just ‘comes up’ on one of Yazeba’s days off, Gertie,” Sal drawled, expend-
ing the energy to finger-quote and all. “If the B&B isn’t actively engulfed in flames,
then everything else waits…isn’t that right, Hey Kid?”
All Sal got in return was a forked tongue sticking out in reply. The demon child
scuttled off, forgetting about Yazeba and pondering their history with accidental
arson. It seemed like everyone but Gertrude was content to let Yazeba be, which
only made her more worried.
“Well, see? That just proves that something has to be going on with—“
0
The backdoor slammed as Yazeba rushed in carrying an armful of loose stones.
One of the smaller ones managed to escape, and tumbled down the steps behind
her. Wasting no time, Gertrude plucked up the forgotten rock and trailed after her.
Silently following Yazeba into her study, Gertrude was met with quite a sight: Rocks
of various shapes and sizes had been arranged in a circle, the circumference of
which just barely fit inside the room. Yazeba’s back was turned as she methodically
placed more until the circle was nearly complete.
“Uh, Yazeba? You dropped this…” Gertrude offered meekly.
# “Leave it with the others,” she commanded, only turning to face Gertrude once
374 the rest of her stones were in their rightful place. She made to hurry past Gertrude
late chaPteRS a
towards the stairs, but gave her a pointed look as she did. “And then you may leave
my office.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Gertrude mumbled, having grown comfortable enough with Yazeba
to allow the teensiest bit of snark into her tone. Gertrude placed the stone down in
the circle as directed, parting others to make enough room. Right as she was about
to leave, she noticed something in the very center of the arrangement–a folded-up
letter, tucked just out of sight.
Sincerely,
r
The Mayo
THE BANK’S SPELL #
375
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GERTRUDE’S SPELL
missing
e owl ridge
bo y w as last spotted outside th
th is ved to
er on se pt embe r 15th and is belie
megacent ild
. please contact ch
still be in the area
serv ices at (55 -55-1000 if you have
5)5
protecti ve ts.
out his whereabou
any information ab
#
376
0
late chaPteRS a
“I think Yazeba was trying to cast a spell. Like, a big one,” Gertrude told Parish in
hushed tones, hoping someone, anyone else, could weigh in on Yazeba’s sporadic
behavior.
The frog simply shook his head, more focused on stirring the perfect béchamel
for the evening’s main dish than to interfere with his employer’s business. “She
seemed conflicted, Parish…just staring at that circle. Do you think she may need
our help to pull it off?”
“Gertrude, my dear, Yazeba is as capable a witch as she is private. You know
that.” He paused just long enough to taste the sauce for flavor, before deciding
on one last grate of nutmeg. “I’m sure that, whatever is on her mind, she’s well
equipped to handle it…”
Parish hadn’t said “alone,” but Gertrude heard it all the same.
Who could blame any of them? Everyone had suffered Yazeba’s wrath at least
once for meddling in her affairs—or worse—attempting to emotionally connect
with her. Gertrude tried her best to ignore her gut, and to put her trust in Yazeba’s
independence. But her worries persisted, especially when Yazeba was spotted
alone in the hallway later that night, cursing under her breath about “impossible
math” and the alignments of stars. Since when did the great Yazeba pace?
Later still on that same night, Gertrude followed the noise up towards Yazeba’s
quarters. Perhaps others had heard it too, but chose to mind their own business.
Emboldened by a sleepless night and concern for her friend, Gertrude discovered
the seasoned witch at the very end of the uppermost hallway.
“Yazeba?” she called in a hush, as if waking a sleepwalker. Yazeba looked up,
frozen mid-step like a stupefied deer. She had none of the timidity of one, though,
even if Gertrude swore her fingers were shaking ever so slightly.
“Haven’t you got a room for a reason?” Yazeba spat out, louder than intended
given how late it was. Gertrude couldn’t help but to wince, though not from the
volume.
“I—I tried to sleep, but I kept…“ Gertrude saw Yazeba hastily stuff the letter into
her robes’ impossibly long sleeves. “…Hearing footsteps.”
The two stood in silence for what felt like a lifetime; Gertrude couldn’t be sure
whether Yazeba was sizing her up, or actually waiting for her to speak again. Either
way, Gertrude’s words tumbled out before she was able to second-guess herself.
0
THE MAYOR’S SPELL #
377
“…Are you going to do it? Help Veilridge?”
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Yazeba straightened herself even more —if such a thing were possible—gathering
her full height to deliver her verdict. The indignation of having such a private letter
read never showed on her face— perhaps she was too blindsided by the question to
care, or maybe the sincerity in Gertrude’s tone took precedence.
“Whatever mess that foolish burg has stumbled into is no concern to me.”
“But—but the mayor said it was important!” Gertrude said, a heat growing behind
her tone, “What if the town’s in danger?”
Yazeba began to fidget. She brushed strands of her hair behind an ear with a
trembling hand despite her stony demeanor.
“Witches do not concern themselves with the wellbeing of angry mobs.”
“Okay, but you’re still holding onto their letter…” Gertrude’s newfound nerve stirred
a reaction from the witch. Where there was fire in Gertrude’s stare, Yazeba merely
looked…intrigued. When was the last time someone had chastised her? When had
Gertrude grown a spine?
“Go on, then,” Yazeba said with an uncanny calmness.
“It’s just—I’ve seen how you’ve been acting all week. No one may have said anything
to you, but we’ve all noticed.” Gertrude found her coals beginning to cool. “Things are
bad, and I know you’re mad at the town. But sometimes being in a community means
helping them out, even when they’ve hurt you. I think it’s important.”
pay off the money and magic away the problem, but you’re going to have to let
us all help.”
GERTRUDE’S SPELL
“Are you going to turn me in?”
Yazeba straightened herself even more—if such a thing were possible—gather-
ing her full height to reveal her truth.
“Don’t be absurd, child. You’re under my protection.”
“But—But it means they’re looking for me,” Gertrude said, a heat growing be-
hind her tone. “And if the government figures out that I’m here, my life is ruined.
You can’t keep that kind of thing from me!”
“What do you want me to do, erase your past?”
“I know you’ve done it before, with your old name.” Gertrude’s newfound
nerve stirred a reaction out of the witch. Where there was fire in Gertrude’s
stare, Yazeba merely looked…intrigued. When was the last time someone had
chastised her? When had Gertrude grown a spine?
“Go on, then,” Yazeba said with an uncanny calmness, trying not to betray her
growing respect.
“I know there’s magic that can erase my old name, cut me off from the past.
I’ve seen your books with the crossed out author pages. I know you can make
it all go away.” Gertrude found her coals beginning to cool. “I want it to go away.
I want to stay here at my real home, and I know it’s hard but I need your help.
Please.”
0
“…Are you quite finished?”
“Yeah. I’m done.”
“Good.” Yazeba retrieved the letter from her sleeve once more, taking a mo-
ment to trace over each of the letter’s words. With a steadying breath, the witch
looked back up to Gertrude, the smallest hint of mirth just behind her eyes.
Even still, her tone remained as unbothered as ever.
“Meet me in the field tomorrow morning, just as the sun is rising. We have a
spell to cast.”
0
FRANTIC MOOD #
379
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can reach
a late chaPteRS
them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed right away, and take a
Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them at once, and if all the coins
come up heads, they succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and must do a
Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away.
When any of us does a Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else,
making the whole mess their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the
coins with a new Bingo—no tag backs!)
drawing
the Circle
Take a spare piece of paper and
place it in the middle of the table.
(Alternatively: Go to an open field with
chalk, stones, or other marking mate-
rials.) Yazeba and only Yazeba may
consult the accompanying diagram,
and everyone else takes turns fol-
lowing her instructions, drawing it
out one stroke at a time. If someone
makes a mistake, she issues a correc-
tion and they get a Chaos Coin.
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380
rally the town
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As you start this spell, automatically check off one step on this track for each Guest from
Veilridge who’s playing. To continue filling it up, consult your coins and play out a short
scene with a random inhabitant of Veilridge. Once it’s full, everyone in town has spread the
word and all of Veilridge has gathered together.
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Construct And light
the bonfire
The spell requires a bonfire. Once the Rally The Town track is filled, automatically check off
two boxes on this Track as the townsfolk help gather kindling.
When this Track is complete, the fire is built. A strange beast begins to stir in the
flames—the manifestation of all the hurt Veilridge has felt from the hurricane. Whoever
finished the track describes the beast to everyone else.
gulated, with six circles each containing Flame Of Sulfate. Place thy contract at the center of
thy circle, and at each point of the triangle place thine treasures three: A worthless treasure, An
invaluable treasure, and a treasure of stated value. These treasures pin thy contract’s value. With a
symbol or possession of the contracted party, and the recitation of the phrases “PHETERMAGON
- CASAVARGON - TULMOT OSIN MUL,” pierce thy contract and thy symbol at once with
thine Executioner’s Blade, and in that moment shatter thine agreement and sunder thy debt.
drawing the
Circle
Take a spare piece of paper and place it in the
middle of the table. (Alternatively: Go to an open
field with chalk, stones, or other marking mate-
rials.) Yazeba and only Yazeba may consult
accompanying the diagram, and everyone else
takes turns following her instructions, drawing
it out one stroke at a time. If someone makes a
mistake, she issues a correction and they get a
Chaos Coin.
building
the fires
Once any inner circle is finished, consult your Chaos Coins to light a fire inside—marking
it with a little drawing of a fire. These fires glow green with copper sulfate, which Yazeba
grabbed from her office. Six fires must be lit in total.
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O Something Worthless: Examples include a trash bag, a letter from the government,
chewed bubblegum.
O Something Invaluable: Examples include an old t-shirt, a hand-drawn illustration, a
memory of the past.
O Something of Fixed Value: Examples include a box of concrete, a single dollar bill, a
golden necklace.
When you think of something that fits the spell’s description, consult your Chaos Coins to
see if it’s a suitable reagent. If it is, write it down on an index card. Thereafter, anyone may
consult their Chaos Coins to go collect it, checking it off the list.
supplicant’s height and an outer diameter as broad as the width of their hand, thumb to pinky.
The supplicant’s identity must be defined at three points of the circle: something of her old life,
something of her new life, and something of the life she hopes to have. Invoke the waves of
midnight to bless floor-length robes of black silk, which she must don before entering the circle.
Mark the supplicant’s face with clay, and crown her with wildflowers from her new home. The
supplicant burns her name, then is carried in procession to a place where water meets sky, and
submerged bodily. When she resurfaces cleansed of her old identity, the ritual is complete.
gather
the ritual items
When each of the three outer circles is completed, place a Chaos Coin on it. Anyone may
do a Bingo and answer one of these questions, taking the Chaos Coin and replacing it with
a little drawing of the item in question. Answer each question only once:
O What’s something that represents Gertrude’s old life?
O What’s something that represents Gertrude’s life with us?
O What’s something that represents Gertrude’s future?
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in the center circle. Everyone takes a turn marking it. Gertrude might do a Whoopsie
during this process—it’s weird when people touch your face!
the procession
Once the circle is drawn, Gertrude’s raiment has been donned, and her old name burned,
it’s time to carry her up the mountain to the old watering hole. Flip everyone’s Chaos Coins.
For every coin that comes up tails, its owner must do a Bingo to get her to the water’s edge
with the spell intact, and dunk her.
the waters
While Gertrude sinks into the dark, still waters of the quarry, she consults her Chaos Coins
one last time. On a failure, the weight of her past self threatens to drag her down with it.
She can choose one of these options to resurface anyway:
O Kick off the midnight robes, and cross out her Journey; she no longer
has one, for now.
O Lose the flower crown, and the name Gertrude is forgotten; she
must pick another.
O Lose her mask, and be seen.
When she resurfaces, the world outside the Bed & Breakfast will have forgotten her old
self, which will have no more claim over her. Everyone returns to the Bed & Breakfast.
#
386
AFTER THE SPELL
Once the spell has concluded, everyone gathers at the Bed & Breakfast for a big feast and
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celebration. Yazeba and/or the Concierge describe how the spell impacts the rest of the
world. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Book Of Magic, and Yazeba decides when the Chapter
ends. Take any coins leftover after the spell and distribute them evenly among the players
as Leftovers for use during Housekeeping.
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#
#
388
CHAPTER
Bonfire
z Sal, anyone who wants to perform,p
95
anyone who wants to watch
In which Sal hosts the annual bonfire to mark the end of summer.
T
here had been some brief thunder showers that morning, and everyone #
had wondered if they should cancel, but by the time the sun was drooping 389
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and the thrum of woodland insects was in the air, the grass was dry and
the sky was clear. Sal was still young, but he had an old man’s sense for the weather.
He always scheduled the bonfire for the perfect August night. Maybe it was a knack
left over from his long-ago life as Yazeba’s apprentice. Maybe summer nights just
liked him.
Because of the drizzles earlier in the day, a lot of the preparations were running
behind, but Sal was calm at the center of the bustle. The bonfire always ran a little
behind. That’s how you make sure it starts right as the sun is setting.
He waved to Parish, who was making his way to the forest trail with a lockbox held
high above his little head.
“Would you like a hand with that?” he called out.
“No sir,” Parish called back. “After last year’s Mystery Of The Missing Marshmallows,
I’ll be keeping the s’mores ingredients under heightened security until it’s time
for intermission.”
“Can’t be too careful,” Sal agreed, stifling a chuckle. He knew who’d pulled off
that heist, but he wasn’t about to rat them out.
Sal swung past the garden, where the rabbits were beginning to emerge in their
matching pajamas and flannels, to the side yard. It was quickly turning into a labyrinth
of vehicles, all parked willy-nilly, each car blocking in more than the last. Presiding
over the chaos was the Moon Prince, who directed a truck driven by Bud Woodruff
into an empty spot with their cane. Bud honked the horn joyfully as he threw it into
park, and Jax, Liz, and Roy hopped out of the open pickup bed, grabbing tattered
blankets and drinks.
Sal offered the Moon Prince a sip from his thermos, but they declined.
“I thought Yazeba was going to direct parking? To prevent mud tracks, she said,”
Sal asked.
“She was doing it when I came out here, but she said she had to go fix her makeup.”
“Hmm,” Sal said, taking a slurp of throat-soothing honey and lemon tea to warm up
his vocal cords. Musician’s secret.
“I hope she’d forgive me for saying as much, but she’s been acting suspicious late-
ly. Moreso than usual, I mean.”
“Whelp. Keep up the good work! Or put up a sign that says ‘Park Here,’ I guess.”
“This must be almost everybody, anyway. It feels like the whole town is here.”
“And beyond, I should think!” Sal clipped his thermos back onto a belt loop at his
hip. “Why don’t you head over now? Any stragglers will find their way easy enough
once we start.”
# The two parted, the Moon Prince joining up with the teens from town while Sal
390 popped inside to grab his guitar, and a cardboard box with an old pillow, flashlights,
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a first aid kit, and enough bug repellant for the entire county.
He started for the woods himself, but was ambushed before he got there.
“SAL! SAL! SAL! SAL!”
Hey Kid barreled out of the woodline, their arms piled high with sticks. Gertrude
shuffled along not too many steps behind them, bearing a more reasonable load.
“SAL! If I sign up to sing a song I made up, can you play your guitar to go with it?”
“Maybe…” Sal scratched his chin. “I’ll be pretty busy with my emcee duties. Have
you already tried asking Gertrude?”
Hey Kid’s eyes went wide, and they rounded on Gertrude so fast that they dropped
their kindling (which, of course, startled Gertrude so much that she dropped
her kindling).
“YOU can play GUITAR?!”
“No—I mean, a little?” Gertrude said, blushing behind her mask.
“That’s PERFECT, because I can only SING a little!” Hey Kid laughed, scooping up
the dropped wood. “Come on! Let’s finish the bonfire so we can go practice.”
“But…it’s supposed to start in less than half an hour! That’s nowhere near
enough time!”
But Hey Kid was already grabbing her by the hoodie sleeve and towing her ahead
of Sal to the trail. “Then hurry!”
“When the bonfire starts, don’t forget to tell me the name of your act for the sign
up sheet!” Sal called after them.
He took his time among the familiar roots and stones of the path and breathed the
evening air, which already had the taste of fire on it.
Sure enough, when he found his way to the clearing, Amelie was standing over
the firepit, nursing a tall but tidy cone of sticks into a flame. The group was a little
smaller than last year, intimate, but packed with friends who were all getting cozy on
logs and in sleeping bags.
Yazeba sat at a stump right by the fire, wrapped in a quilt.
“You really do make such a mess every year, inviting everyone to my poor little
house,” she groused, but Sal could tell that she was feeling something, so he put
down his things next to her and whispered:
“Thank you, as always, for hosting.”
Then he clapped his hands so powerfully that everyone turned to look.
“FRIENDS, FAMILY, NEIGHBORS AND GUESTS! Please make yourselves comfortable,
and if you have an act you’d like to perform—a story, a song, a poem, anything at all— #
please see me to get added to the sign-up list. We start in ten minutes!” 391
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0
SETTING THE STAGE
After we’ve picked Characters but before we begin the Chapter in earnest, we should decide
as a group whether we want to play this Chapter by the seat of our pants, or take 10-15
minutes to split up and write or look up song lyrics, poems, or jokes that our Characters
might want to perform. A few of us should tell Sal what we’re planning, to get the sign up
sheet started.
When we gather back together, everyone tells us how they’re getting comfortable around
the fire, protecting themselves from the summer night’s chill and from the bugs drawn to
the lights. You might consider:
+ Wearing a borrowed flannel or a sweatshirt.
+ Appointing yourself in charge of bug spray.
+ Using an old “outside blanket” as a shawl.
+ Sitting on an old “outside pillow” to soften the logs and stumps.
+ Bringing your own collapsible chair.
+ Cocooning yourself in a sleeping bag.
+ Planting your butt in the dirt.
+ Sitting a little too close to the flames.
+ Huddling up to a friend.
Then, to get the ball rolling, Sal will re-read his last line from the fiction and introduce the
first act.
MASTER OF CEREMONIES
If the Concierge isn’t playing Sal, they can take the night off. Sal’s got it covered.
Sal will prepare a piece of scrap paper: the Sign Up Sheet. He’ll make a list of perfor-
mances in the order they come to him, introduce each act with a little compliment, joke, or
segue, keep any rambling performances from going over time (he may want to set a timer
for 5 minutes), and make sure everyone gets the applause they’re due.
Anyone may sign up to perform at any time, even if they’ve already performed. Multiple
Characters can contribute to the same act, and anyone can grab an unplayed Character to
perform as, if the mood seizes them.
This chapter details six kinds of performances: a Chorus, a Verse, a Bit, an Anecdote, a
Shaggy Dog Story, and a Scare. If you want to perform something that doesn’t fit any of these
categories, you should go for it! There won’t be any rules for it, but we’ll all enjoy your talent
anyway.
#
392
PERFORMING COMFORTABLY
The Bonfire is an excellent time to play outside of our comfort zones, but we don’t need to
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actually sing or write or do stand-up if we don’t want to—we can just describe what our
Character does with their body, how they’re feeling as they perform, and what ideas their
act introduces.
If Sal calls your name and you don’t want to perform at all, you can say you’re missing—
maybe you went back to the house to use the bathroom, or are looking for more firewood.
If you start performing and don’t know how to continue, it’s okay to end it early, say you
have stage fright, or say your guitar string breaks! Sal will save you and move along to the
next performance.
THE BONFIRE
Write “The Bonfire” on an index card, put it in the middle, and put 8 tokens on it for
each player. Write “Sal’s Goodnight” on another index card and put it next to The Bonfire
Whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they may take a token from The Bonfire. Whenever
anyone does a Bingo, they may give one of their tokens to Sal’s Goodnight. When the
Bonfire runs out of tokens, it’s later than late: finish up the current performance, then it’s
time to read Sal’s Goodnight.
PERFORMANCES
A Chorus
A Chorus is any musical performance where the audience participates, whether that means
enthusiastically belting out the parts of a song that everyone knows, singing harmonies in
a round while the performer conducts, or even just stamping and clapping to keep time.
When the performer announces the song, they explain how the audience participation
should go, and everyone else secretly decides whether their character knows the song or not.
If you know the song, and notice that someone else doesn’t, you can help them out with #
nudges, whispers, and gestures. If you’re correct and your hints help, you may both take a 393
token from The Bonfire when the performance is over. If you don’t know how the song goes,
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but you do your best to keep up and nobody notices, choose one to keep for the rest of the
Chapter:
U A Whoopsie: “Fade into the background.”
! A Bingo: “Substitute enthusiasm for expertise.”
A Verse
A Verse is any performance where one person expresses themself, and the audience absorbs
it in rapt attention. They can recite a poem, sing, play an instrument, do a dance—anything
meaningful but metaphorical.
Before you perform a Verse, pass everyone an index card, and secretly decide who your
performance is for—it can be for anyone present, including yourself. After the performance,
give any tokens from the audience’s reactions to that person. If you’re listening to a Verse
and you think you know who it’s for, you can write your guess on your index card. When
the performer gives out the tokens, you can reveal your guess and collect a token from The
Bonfire if you were right.
A Bit
A Bit is any performance where the performers make everyone else laugh. They can tell a
series of short jokes, or act out a little skit, or perform a scene from a movie—anything that
might get a guffaw.
When the performers start a Bit, everyone else decides whether they’re Giggly or Feisty.
Playful groans and boos from Feisty audience members are every inch the sign of respect
that chuckles and shrieks of laughter are from Giggly audience members. After the perfor-
mance, everyone gets access to a new Bingo for the rest of the Chapter: “Make a callback
reference to someone’s funny Bit.”
An Anecdote
An Anecdote is a true (or…mostly true) story about something that really happened to the
performer or a friend of theirs. It can be funny, sad, exciting, or bewildering—as long as
it’s extraordinary. A good way to start an Anecdote is with an intriguing hook, like one of
these:
+ “I want to tell you all about how I got this guitar…”
+ “It’s normal to want a pony when you’re a little kid, but I really wanted one…”
+ “This is the story of the worst day of my life…”
+ “This is how my friend and I wound up stranded in Mewry Bay in just our swimsuits…”
+ “So, this one time, my dear friend wanted to get into fashion design…”
+ “Back when I was in college, I had this crush…”
+ “Back on the moon, I once almost started a war…”
+ Something else, of your own invention.
# Start at the very beginning of the story, and give lots of supporting details. You’ll know the
394 Anecdote is over when it finally circles back around to the hook. While the performer tells
the Anecdote, anyone that they mention in the story has the Bingo: “Interrupt to issue a
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correction or provide a detail.” Everyone else has the Whoopsie: “Interrupt to ask a ques-
tion or seek clarification.”
A Scare
A Scare is an untrue (or…mostly untrue) scary story that has been passed down to the
performer. It can be a local legend, or something you’re making up on the spot—as long as
you never admit it. A good way to start a Scare is by establishing a time, a place, and some
characters to root for, like this:
+ “On a warm summer night—much like tonight, really—a group of friends decided
to go camping not far from here…”
+ “Back in the 70s, teens used to drive up to the old quarry to drink and hang out…”
+ “It was a babysitting job like any other, or so the babysitter thought…”
+ “So. This guy was driving home from a rock show late at night, when he saw a
hitchhiker on the road…”
+ “A couple had just bought their dream home, but they couldn’t understand why
it’d been so dirt cheap…”
+ “Do you believe in Crispy Jack? No? Well, there was once this out-of-towner who
didn’t believe in him, either…”
+ “They say that somewhere in the woods around Veilridge, there’s an abandoned
house where an evil old witch lives…and once, a teen girl looking for a place to
stay the night stumbled upon it…”
+ Something else, of your own invention.
Start slowly, giving lots of unconfirmable details, and introduce eerie elements gradually
before revealing the threat. You’ll know the story is over when the first characters you intro-
duced are about to either die, or escape and receive a final message. (Sometimes it can be
fun to end on an anticlimax; maybe the killer turns out just to have been an earlier character
getting home from a hockey game, and covered in ketchup from a hotdog.)
While you perform a Scare, whenever you introduce a character to the story, do it in #
vague terms (“a young woman,” “the smart one,” “a traveling salesman,”) but look directly 395
at a member of the audience who reminds you of them. They’re now in the story, playing
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as that character.
When you’re in the story, you can push back against the performer’s narration by giving
them one of your tokens. When you meet your doom, take a token from The Bonfire.
SAL’S GOODNIGHT
When the bonfire gets low and the night goes from late to really late, it’s time for Sal to
wrap things up, but he’s saved his performance for last. (This is a kindness, really; who could
possibly follow him?) No more tokens can change hands; hold onto any unused tokens as
Leftovers for Housekeeping, and count the Tokens on Sal’s Goodnight. As Sal’s performs,
he can spend tokens from his Goodnight to work in the following themes:
+ 1 Token: An earnest love for everyone present, and a desire to protect them
from the world’s heartbreaks. Everyone may doodle a heart somewhere on their
character sheet.
+ 3 Token: The bittersweet passage of time, and excitement for what we’ll do in the
future. Everyone may doodle a star somewhere on their character sheet.
+ 5 Tokens: The energy of being surrounded by so many bright and talented people.
The Bed & Breakfast gets a Bag of Popcorn.
+ 7 Tokens: The awe of being truly held by your community. The Bed & Breakfast
gets a Bottle of Champagne.
+ 9 Tokens: A wish that this night could last forever. The Bed & Breakfast gets a
Fairy Blessing.
Sal can quietly award any unspent Tokens to his favorite act of the evening as Leftovers.
When his performance is over, he’ll wish everyone home safe, and start breaking down
the bonfire. The Chapter ends when the crowd begins to disperse, and the Bed & Breakfast
gets a Plastic Cup.
#
396
83
CHAPTER
Day At The Beach
z anyone and everyone who would like to go to the
beach—this chapter is best with many, many friends!
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groaned before the trunk finally locked into place, and Gertrude sank down
to the dirt, panting. She looked up to see Sal standing over her.
“Everything’s loaded in?” he asked, extending a hand.
Gertrude nodded, and let him pull her up. “Lacuna Beach…here we…come!” She
declared between breaths.
Hey Kid howled with joy from the roof of the van, and crawled through the win-
dow to sit in the Moon Prince’s lap. Gertrude squeezed in between them and Parish,
who was greased head to webbed toes with sunscreen. She realized she’d never
been in a car packed with quite this many people before. It felt like the whole Bed
& Breakfast was squeezed in the back of The Flying V. She did her best to find her
seatbelt—Amelie tapped her gently on the shoulder and pointed it out—before Sal
finally got the keys to turn in the ignition, and with a groan the old van jumped to life.
0
Sal’s knuckles tightened against the steering wheel. “The rest stop’s just a
mile away!”
Hey Kid moaned pathetically. “I need to pee right! Now!” The Moon Prince gri-
maced stoically from underneath them.
Yazeba poked her nose out from under a pile of towels and pillows. “Fries afire,
I’m starving.”
“We can get fries…at the rest stop…” Sal muttered through gritted teeth. A loud
beep from the back signaled that Amelie had entered sleep mode.
Parish blanched. “I packed fries in the picnic basket, if you can just wait until we
get to the beach.”
“Fast food has a special flavor,” Gertrude muttered before burying her nose deep-
er into her book.
Sal took a deep breath, and then pushed his sunglasses up. The Flying V’s air con-
ditioner was working overtime but couldn’t compensate for the wave of heat coming
off the pavement and the many bodies of his crushed passengers. The twelve-lane
highway sprawled out in front of the van, gentle farmlands slowly giving way to miles
and miles of billboards.
Sal’s eyes locked onto one sign. “The rest stop is half a mile away,” he muttered.
“I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COUNT THAT HIGH!” Hey Kid screeched, and the Moon
Prince made desperate eye contact with Sal in the rearview mirror.
0
# Perhaps it was the salty air, or the cawing of seagulls, or the warm golden sun,
398 but the arrival at Lacuna had a kind of transformative effect. Hey Kid stopped
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ing a sandstorm to appear at any time.
“Please allow me to accompany you in your objective to acquire fried po-
tato snacks, Gertrude,” Amelie buzzed out, carefully staying on the paved,
non-sandy path.
Gertrude smiled slightly under her mask, because she’d been right: Amelie
looked darling in a floppy straw hat. She linked arms with them and made her way
to the concessions stand.
0
RELAXED MOOD
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of tokens where everyone can reach them.
During the Chapter, whenever anyone does a Whoopsie, they’ll take a token. Before anyone
can do one of their Bingos, they must first give a token back to the table.
BEACH TIME
It’s a universal fact that any time spent at the beach is both endless and much too short.
Decide as a group how long you all want to play this Chapter (three hours is a good guess).
Set up a timer to go off once every half hour, then take all the clubs from a deck of playing
cards and shuffle them together. Whenever the alarm goes off, someone draws a card and
announces what’s going on.
# TWO The beach gets super duper crowded. For the next 30 minutes, whenever you
400 want to do a Bingo, flip a coin. If you get tails, do a Whoopsie instead.
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THREE A huge number of seagulls descend from the sky. No one can do Bingos for the
next 30 minutes unless they distract the gulls with some fries.
FOUR The ice cream truck shows up! All ice creams and milkshakes are 50% off for the
next 30 minutes.
FIVE Sunscreen time! Everyone regroups and puts on sunscreen, then goes back to
what they were doing.
SIX Some x-tremely rad surfers come by to hang out. Unlock the Surfing activity.
SEVEN Some teen miscreants are hanging out on the rocks at the edge of the beach.
Unlock the Loitering activity.
EIGHT Parish cracks open the picnic basket and everyone gets to have snacks! Regroup,
and for the next 30 minutes all snacks are FREE. (Don’t take more than your
fair share!)
NINE A tide rolls in, bringing deep sea treasures. For the next 30 minutes, whenev-
er you Seek Buried Treasure or Explore The Tidepools, you get $1 worth of pretty
rocks, shells, and sand dollars.
TEN A huge wave comes crashing in. Destroy all sand castles.
JACK The sky is doing some incredibly beautiful things. For the next 30 minutes, get
a Token whenever you describe to someone else what the sky is doing.
QUEEN The Pelican Buffet opens for business. Unlock the Feasting activity.
KING A massive shelled kraken breaches the surface, curious about all the little bi-
pedes. For the next 30 minutes, whenever you enter the Depths while Swim-
ming, get an extra Token if you describe your strange encounter.
ACE A huge storm is rolling in. Lock the People Watching activity for the next 30
minutes as everyone seeks cover. You can keep hanging out, but be careful—
don’t get struck by lightning!
Once your desired play time has elapsed, go to the It’s Getting Dark section.
SEASIDE ACTIVITIES
swimming
When you start splashing around in the sea, choose an object to represent your character
and place them in the Shallow section of the sea. When you’re in the Shallows, you have
the following Whoopsies:
U Get caught in a riptide, and go to the Depths.
U Splash your friends, and both go to the Depths.
U Freak out and swim back to shore.
#
401
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When you’re in the Depths, you have the following Bingos:
! Show off your swimming skills, and go to the Shallows.
! Help a friend back into their comfort zone, and both go to the Shallows.
building Sandcastles
Whenever you want to build a sand castle, take a blank index card and draw the base of your
sand castle on it. Whenever you do a Bingo, you may add another structural component to
your sand castle. Once you’re happy with it, sign it and place it on the table. If it survives
the day, keep it as Leftovers at the end of the Chapter. Anyone participating in this activity
has the Whoopsie:
U Smash someone’s sandcastle (intentionally or accidentally), destroying it completely.
Munching snacks
There’s a couple food trucks set up at the edge of the beach, and their tasty treats can provide
an exciting morale boost—at a price. Consult the menu below to see what’s available.
+ $1: Bag Of Chips
+ $1: Can Of Soda
+ $2: Ice Pop, bad flavor
+ $2: French Fries, small
+ $3: Ice Pop, good flavor (Gives you a Token when eaten.)
+ $3: Hot Dog (Gives you a Token when eaten.)
+ $4: French Fries, large (Can be shared, and everyone who eats some gets a Token.)
+ $4: Milkshake (Can be shared, and everyone who drinks it gets a Token.)
While everyone only starts with $2, there’s a lot more money hidden across the beach if you
know where to look!
#
402
Seeking Buried Treasure
Take all the Diamonds from a deck of playing cards, shuffle them, and deal them out onto
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the table face down. Everyone doing this activity has the Bingo: “Search the beach for
treasure and flip over one of the cards.” Whenever anyone flips over one of the cards, they
collect it, then check the following list to see what they get.
TWO A disgruntled crab just looking for a snack. Shuffle all of your Diamonds cards
back into the pile, including the crab, and do a Whoopsie about it.
THREE A dirty beach towel left abandoned in the sand. Shuffle it, along with one of
your Diamond cards, back into the pile, and do a Whoopsie about it.
FOUR A slippery jellyfish that only stings a little bit. Do a Whoopsie when you find it.
FIVE A pretty white Seashell that you can give to the Bed & Breakfast if you still
have it at the end of the Chapter.
SIX A huge pile of seaweed.
SEVEN A lovely blue Seashell that you can give to the Bed & Breakfast if you still
have it at the end of the Chapter.
EIGHT Two perfect sand dollars. Counts as two Dollars for snacks.
NINE A half-buried plastic bucket. While you have this card, you get an extra token
for every Whoopsie you do while building sand castles.
TEN A stunning pink Seashell, that you can give to the Bed & Breakfast if you still
have it at the end of the Chapter.
JACK A map to a sunken city, in the depths of the sea. If you swim out into the
Depths, you can find Atlantis and be anointed Monarch Of The Mer-People.
(Write this somewhere on your character sheet.) You’ll bring back a
Crown that you give to the Bed & Breakfast if you still have it at the end of
the Chapter.
QUEEN A glass bottle containing a model galleon crewed by bugs. If the bottle is opened,
the boat rapidly grows to full size, and the bug crew are freed from their curse
(although they’re still bugs). Unlock the Sailing activity, if it’s not already un-
locked.
KING A pirate’s spyglass, haunted by a powerful ghost. You cannot do any Bingos
while you hold this spyglass, but you can also see and befriend ghosts.
ACE An enormous chest full of buried treasure. Is locked and requires a lockpicking
kit to open, but inside is enough treasure to count as $50.
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A pile of stinky sea goo! Shuffle any cards you’ve collected back into the deck!
FIVE A beautiful starfish.
SIX A hermit crab with a spiky shell.
SEVEN A couple of shore crabs on a date.
EIGHT A sea urchin.
NINE A chubby sea anemone.
TEN A baby octopus who needs to go back to sea! If you bring him to the Depths,
find a King from the Beach Time deck, shuffle this card back in, and put the
King on top.
JACK A briefcase full of soaked money! Only $5 is salvageable.
QUEEN A magical talking carp, who promises a wish in exchange for her freedom. She
will do no such thing, but you get a Fairy Blessing if you set her free.
KING The figurehead of an ancient ship, a statue of a beautiful man with
emerald eyes.
ACE A glass bottle with a note inside. Write down the note on an index card, and
give the note to the Bed & Breakfast.
people watching
Lacuna Bay isn’t the most crowded beach in the world, but it’s still packed full of interesting
folks and strange characters.
Take all of the Spades from a deck of playing cards and shuffle them together. Whenever
you want to spot someone at the beach, draw one and write down the visible trait below on
an index card. Put the new Stranger’s cards together, off to the side.
TWO A brutal sunburn that runs across their entire body.
THREE A huge T-shirt that covers their whole swimsuit.
FOUR The tiniest dog you’ve ever seen.
FIVE An oversized beach hat that droops around them like an umbrella.
SIX Huge colorful sunglasses that cover most of their face.
SEVEN Surface wounds caused by stray seagull attacks.
EIGHT Looks away in a panic; was people-watching you.
NINE A sick bathing suit in an interesting color.
TEN An…extra eye? Are they an alien?
JACK A trench coat, sunglasses and a fedora.
QUEEN Dyed colorful hair, soaked by the water but still suggesting fun shapes.
KING An awesome tattoo, like a dragon or a skeleton or song lyrics that
you recognize.
ACE A big surfboard tucked under one arm. They can Unlock the Surfing Activity if
you befriend them.
# If you want to start up a conversation, someone else (who isn’t in the conversation) will
404 draw a second Spades card, write down the personal trait below to finish the Stranger.
They’ll speak as that Stranger until the conversation is over or they get bored.
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Surfing
This activity starts locked. You’ll need to find someone who can surf in order to unlock
this activity. When you want to surf, find a six-sided die and draw a little Surf Meter on a
piece of paper. Whenever you wanna do a cool trick with your surfboard, roll the Surf Die
and refer to the chart below. You may spend tokens to add +1 each to the roll. Afterwards,
tick the Surf Meter.
+ 1: Yikes, broski! You totally beef it and scrape your knee!
+ 2: Better luck next time, hodag. You get a Token as you slip off the board.
+ 3-4: Killer job, lil dude.
+ 5-7: Woahski broski! That was hella tight. You get +1 to your next Surfing roll.
+ 8-99: Way to carve foam, your royal gnarliness! You realize you're actually really good
at this, and get +1 to all future Surfing rolls forever (mark this on your character sheet).
+ 100+: You’re the best at surfing, wow! Come up with a new slang word that surfers use
now and get the Bingo: “Surf anywhere, even without water.”
When the Surf Meter fills up, a Killer Wave is coming. Proclaim it to the entire beach, and #
anyone who decides to come try to catch it can take a token. After everyone who wants 405
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to roll the Surf Die rolls it, the sea becomes calm, and there can be no more surfing today.
loitering
This activity starts locked. You’ll need to find some cool teens to unlock this activity.
While Loitering, you can watch anyone do any other activity, and you can cheer them
on to give them a Token, bump up their card by 1 value, help them find $1, or boost their
Surf Die roll by 1. Similarly, you can jeer at other beachgoers to steal a Token or $1 from
them, lower their card by 1 value, or lower their Surf Die roll by 1. If someone jeers for a
third time before the Beach Time timer goes off, a lifeguard, kiosk worker, or concerned
parent will come shoo away everyone who’s loitering. Scatter to other activities and lock
Loitering again.
feasting
This activity starts locked. You can’t unlock this activity until the Lacuna Seafood Restaurant
opens for business. The Lacuna Seafood Restaurant is open for business, with some deli-
cious meals and outrageous prices. Consult the menu below to see what’s available.
+ $1: Can Of Soda + $9: Bowl Of Mussels (Can be
+ $2: Clam Chowder shared, and everyone who eats some gets
+ $4: Small Salad a Token.)
+ $5: Shrimp Plate + $10: Steamed Giant Clam (Gives the
+ $6: Poutine Fries Bed & Breakfast a Seashell when
+ $7: Mozzarella Sticks (Gives you a eaten.)
Token when eaten.) + $20: Lobster (Gives the Bed &
+ $8: Crab Legs (Gives you two Token Breakfast a Lobster when eaten.)
when eaten.)
#
406
Sailing
This activity starts locked. You’ll need a strong sailing vessel to unlock this activity. While
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sailing, you need at least two players. One of them must be the Captain, and everyone else
is a Seahand. Take forty-nine index cards and write the following, each on a different card.
+ A secret island, full of treasure. Everyone aboard gets $5.
+ A rocky island with grumpy harpies sunbathing. Unlock Xanther Erinyes on pg. 220
if they aren’t already unlocked.
+ A train station sitting in the middle of the waves, inhabited by ghosts.
+ A siren playing dulcet tones alone on a rocky beach.
+ A kraken swimming through the waves, too busy to say hi.
+ A pod of friendly whales.
+ A forgotten statue beneath the waves.
+ A floating island mostly hidden by clouds.
+ The rest of the cards are blank.
Arrange these cards on the table face-down in a 7x7 grid, and choose an object to represent
the sailing vessel.
The Captain does a Bingo or Whoopsie in order to move the ship from one card to
another. Flip the card over, and the Seahands work together to describe what they see. If the
card is blank, it’s empty ocean as far as the eye can see, and the crew instead find a moment
of beauty together.
If at any point the Beach Time timer threatens your sailing conditions, you must return
immediately and cannot sail anymore for the day.
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#
#
408
CHAPTER
The Witch’s 90
Old Hostel
z Amelie, Gertrude, p anyone who
can tread lightly (but never Yazeba)
In which Gertrude and Amelie lead an intrusion into Yazeba’s old life.
I
t started when Gertrude was helping Amelie clean out old boxes in the unoc- #
cupied storage area of the attic and found what appeared to be an old flier, 409
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somehow still in perfect condition and not yellowed by years or transport or
storage or tears. As if by magic.
The Everyone Hostel it read, with an iridescent sheen sparkling so brightly it re-
flected in Amelie’s face display and Gertrude’s eyes. It was the type designed to be
easily slapped on signs, lampposts, old buildings, and dusty storefront windows. An
array of colors and shapes made a large heart with a window in it. We Have Room!
blared out in purple text. Smaller letters in dazzling white, a firm pink, and a soft blue
spelled out the address. Amelie buzzed out the postal code.
Robot and girl both blinked at the flier, held gently in Gertude’s chubby fingers and
Amelie’s usual iron grip.
“Do you think this was it?” Gertrude asked in a hushed voice.
With a robotic whirring, Amelie released their hold on the flier and straightened.
“Please clarify,” Amelie hummed.
“Do you think this was the place Yazeba had before…” Gertrude trailed off.
Amelie turned slowly to face them, the LED display unblinking in the dim storage
attic light. Only the residents closest to Yazeba knew about Yazeba’s old place—
more by the gossip of the gift shop fairy and others than anything the witch said
herself. But it had existed. An old hostel in the heart of the city, as close to society as
the Bed & Breakfast was far, that had been lost in smoke and fire. Every time it was
retold, the story seemed to change ever so slightly: the exact location, the appear-
ance, the number of occupants, the reason it was destroyed…but in every version,
it was destroyed completely and utterly and without any chance of rebuilding. And it
always ended the same way: with a distraught and desolate witch selling her heart to
protect the very thing her love couldn’t.
Amelie’s eyes flickered slightly, and they replied simply, “Yes.”
Gertrude looked at the sticker again. Felt a tingling in her back. Her fingers. “We
should go there,” she said.
Amelie turned away speedily and resumed tidying the piles they’d made: giveaway,
throwaway, keep and sort neatly. Gertrude had invited herself to help specifically
to prevent the throwaway pile from getting too large. She was sure Parish wouldn’t
appreciate the robotic maidservant throwing away his copies of Courtly Affairs and
Knight Etiquette, bittersweet reminders though they were. However, Amelie had
seemed preoccupied with the old clothing found up there; handsome skirts and
ruffled blouses, slightly out-of-date dresses and ball gowns, and gorgeous wide-
brimmed hats. It was with one of these hats that they now fiddled as they answered
softly: “Why?”
“I want to see it,” Gertrude breathed.
# “Why?” Amelie repeated.
410 “I want to see what’s worth selling your heart for.”
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“Oh, Ms. Gertrude,” Amelie said, and they turned to face her again, still holding the
brown hat with its fake yellow flowers. “She lost what she sold it for. All that’s left is
the ruins. Why would you walk through someone’s heartbreak?”
Gertrude stared hard at Amelie, who was holding a flowered hat and a long puffy
skirt. It wasn’t like the robot to wax poetic. A brief response, a polite nod, barely con-
cealed anxiety was more Amelie’s speed. “I just feel like I have to,” she said at last.
She wasn’t sure if she was scared or fascinated.
“If you insist,” Amelie said clearly, sounding more like a robotic maidservant again,
“Then I must accompany you.”
“I’d like that,” Gertrude replied, her voice quiet.
0
Yazeba said nothing when Amelie informed her of their departure and destination.
Her eyes simply searched Amelie’s face, then Gertrude’s. Then, with a sharp nod
reminiscent of a large bird of prey, Yazeba gave her approval.
“If you have time to look for it, I left an old scarf there.”
“Won’t you be coming with us?” Gertrude quavered.
“Of course not,” Yazeba snapped, and shut her door.
0
Amelie mounted an old bicycle of Yazeba’s, a cruiser in powder blue with a large
pink basket and pink spokes. They turned to Gertrude, and motioned for her to sit
on the improvised seat behind them, where back baskets could usually go. Gertrude
got on hesitantly, holding on to the robot’s waist.
“What do you know about the old hostel?” she asked hesitantly, as Amelie began
pedaling. It didn’t escape her notice that Amelie seemed to know the most about it,
just as it hadn’t escaped her notice that they were now wearing the flouncy skirt and
pretty hat they’d found in the attic.
“Most of it I extracted from that fiendish gift shop merchant, Monday,” Amelie
said, and the tone of their voice indicated a firm dislike. “But…Ms. Yazeba has spo-
ken of it. Rarely. Briefly.” Their voice wavered. “You are not wearing a helmet,” they
added disapprovingly.
Gertrude cringed. She knew she’d forgotten something.
“Most bike deaths occur as the result of head injury,” Amelie continued merciless-
ly. “If we were to be struck by a vehicle—”
“Oh, don’t, don’t!” Gertrude squeaked, and clutched Amelie tighter. “You aren’t
wearing a helmet either!”
“My head is made of reinforced steel and titanium with bulletproof casing and #
glass,” was Amelie’s stern reply. “I do not need a helmet.” 411
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“You just wanted to wear the hat,” Gertrude shot back cheekily.
Amelie was silent.
The landscape changed from uncomfortable highway forest to suburbs, and the
“DANGER: DO NOT LEAVE THE ROAD” and “VOIDS AND CREATURES IN THE WOOD”
signs slowly disappeared. They were soon replaced by signs such as “NO BLOOD
MAGIC WITHIN CITY LIMITS WITHOUT PERMIT” and “CARRIER HAWKS MUST BE
TAGGED.” Gertrude giggled at one that said “ALL ROBOTS MUST DEACTIVATE LASER
CAPABILITIES,” which Amelie primly ignored. The occasional car transitioned to fre-
quent motorbikes, vans, and flying or teleporting steeds, and the cacophony of the
city replaced the eerie silence of the wood. Gertrude almost preferred the wood,
and she had noticed that Amelie’s grip on the handlebars tightened enough to split
the rubber. Fortunately, the pedestrians, motorists, and mounted riders seemed
disinterested in a housemaid robot and a chubby masked girl. Every pedal brought
them closer and every pedal seemed to fill them with dread.
Gertrude put her face against Amelie’s back and pretended she was invisible.
It was only when Amelie’s dutiful, if anxious pedals slowed that she looked back
up. The neighborhood they’d entered now seemed even more run-down than the
tired suburbs full of signs banning blood magic and necromancy. Signs here said
“GHOST WATCH IN EFFECT” and “LIMINAL SPACES LIKELY, AVOID CURBS THURSDAY
NIGHTS.” Amelie finally came to a halt in front of a large lot sandwiched between two
smaller shotgun shacks. A vacant, run-down house covered in vines and graffiti took
up most of the lot, though Getrude thought she could make out the remains of a
garden plot in the front. The house had been at least three stories, but in its current
ramshackle state she wondered if the floors could support the weight of the living
when all that had walked there for years was ghosts.
“We had best look for that scarf,” Amelie said, and their voice was uneven. They al-
lowed Gertrude to get off, then dismounted, wheeling the bike up the cracked front
walk. They almost tripped over roots twice as they stared at the front of the house.
The screen on Amelie’s face flickered a bit, perhaps as close of an approximation
to organic crying as the robot could ever achieve. Gertrude moved a bit closer, and
took Amelie’s hand; they twitched, but did not pull away.
“Are you alright?” Amelie buzzed out softly, sounding more like a friend
than a nursemaid.
“Are you alright?” Gertrude countered, her voice gentle.
The robot was impossibly still for a few breaths. Then their head swiveled to sur-
vey the wreckage before them that none but the most daring of street artists had
dared to touch, their tags seeming to immortalize the ruin more than deface it.
# Gertrude watched as they took in the charred front steps and rotting porch and di-
412 sastrously overgrown front yard and shuddered.
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“I have never had the misfortune to explore a ruin of someone’s former life,”
Amelie droned quietly, unhappily. “I confess that I am not looking forward to this.”
Gertrude nodded, looking at the broken windows and graffitied walls and open,
swinging faded pink door halfway off its hinges. She gulped and squeezed Amelie’s
hand tighter. Amelie sounded sad, but Gertrude felt something else tickling the back
of her neck. A sensation raising the hairs on her arms and gooseflesh on her back
and shoulders. A thrill of foreboding as she saw, reflecting in a broken window, a
happy, smiling witch with a magnificently curved nose and a mess of untidy hair. It
wasn’t the reflection of a witch who wasn’t present that scared Gertrude, however.
It was seeing a Yazeba that didn’t exist anymore.
0
EXPLORING THE RUINS
Before the Chapter begins, shuffle a deck of cards and deal out the cards face down into
a map of the hostel’s rooms (see the accompanying floorplan). The Lobby should get one
fewer card than the others.
Everyone starts the Chapter in the Lobby, but we can move freely to any room unless
there’s a face-up card blocking it. Whenever someone wants to investigate the ruined hostel,
they reveal the top card of the room they’re in. If it’s an Omen (Aces, Jack, Queen or King)
they consult that room’s rules; otherwise they consult the rules for Debris.
When you reveal a Hearts or Diamonds card (EXCEPT for the Queen of Hearts), you #
or anyone else in the room may do a Bingo to pay your respects to what you’ve found, and 413
collect that card.
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When you reveal a Spades or Clubs card, put it face up on top of the pile it came from.
Nobody can investigate that room again until the card has been dealt with. If at any point
all of the rooms become blocked by Spades or Clubs, we should leave, and the Chapter
ends immediately.
CROSSED
If someone has a card on their Character Sheet, they are Crossed. Being Crossed can mean
a lot of things, none of them good: you may find yourself losing things, or being unusual-
ly clumsy, or feeling particularly sad, or even physically unwell. When you collect a Jack,
Queen, or King of Hearts or Diamonds, you may put a card that’s Crossing you back in
the box.
If anyone gets Triple-Crossed (three or more cards on their character sheet), they fall
unconscious and the Chapter ends immediately: leave any Leftover cards behind, and the
Bed & Breakfast recovers nothing.
THE SCARF
Yazeba asked for her scarf back. Whenever we find the Queen of Hearts, we’ll mark off
this Track.
If it fills up, the scarf flutters to the ground, and we can take it and leave this tragic place.
Hold on to any collected Hearts and Diamonds as Leftovers for Housekeeping, the Bed &
Breakfast gets a Tattered Scarf, and the Chapter ends.
Otherwise, the vision fades. Shuffle the Queen of Hearts into the hostel room with the
most remaining cards.
#
414 DEBRIS TWO- TEN
TWO-FOURDIAMONDS
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We find one of the hostel’s surviving pamphlets. What were its selling points? What
did it look like, before…this?
FIVE-NINEDIAMONDS We find a partially intact book. What’s it about? What is marked or dog-eared?
TENDIAMONDS We find a ring of keys. What plastic bauble dangles from it, half-melted?
TWO-FOURCLUBS The hostel shifts, like the Bed and Breakfast does, but with a lurch. Everyone in this
room feels like they’re falling, and finds themselves in different rooms, with this one
inaccessible. We can deal with this card by putting it and a Hearts or Diamonds card
we’ve collected with a higher number back in the box.
FIVE-NINECLUBS The room has a bad vibe so powerful that it’s hard to concentrate. We can deal with
this card by putting it and a Hearts or Diamonds card we’ve collected with a higher
number back in the box.
TENCLUBS Everything in the room begins to shudder and vibrate, then whirl through the air.
Everyone must flee the room. We can deal with this card by doing a Bingo, then
putting it and two Hearts or Diamonds cards we’ve collected back in the box.
TWO-FOURSPADES There’s a pile of garbage and rubble to dig through in this room. We can deal with
this card by stopping to sift through the mess, getting filthy in the process—put the
card on your character sheet if you lead the effort.
FIVE-NINESPADES We find some graffiti left in the building after we abandoned it. What does it say?
Is it harmless? If so, we can ignore it, and put it back in the box. If it’s not, we can
deal with this card by cleaning it, covering it up, or adding a rebuttal or something
beautiful, then put it back in the box.
TENSPADES The ceiling collapses, showering us with splinters, dust, and plaster. We can deal
with this card by carefully inspecting the room to make sure it’s safe to explore: re-
veal the card beneath it, and if it’s Hearts or Diamonds, return this card to the box.
Otherwise, put the revealed Spades or Clubs card face-up on an adjacent room, and
consult that room’s text for it.
TWO-FOURHEARTS We discover a singed photograph with that many people in it. Yazeba’s there…but
who are these strangers? What do they look like?
FIVE-NINEHEARTS We find a note on a shred of paper, a moldering post-it, or a dingy whiteboard.
What does it say?
TENHEARTS We find a framed group photo of the hostel’s staff and regulars. Yazeba is hugging
the people on either side of her. What message is written on the back?
THE LOBBY
JACKDIAMONDS On the walls, you can see the remains of a beautiful mural that seems to change with
the sky outside. What does the weather look like now?
QUEENDIAMONDS There’s a faint psychic echo of someone singing clearly. You can’t make out the words
but, inexplicably, it’s a song of the future. Heartbreak, open doors, prosperity, doom,
and security are woven throughout. What is it saying specifically to you?
KINGDIAMONDS A couple of large planters, cracked and broken, lay about. You can tell from the soil #
contents that these were no ordinary houseplants. Is there new growth here? 415
ACEDIAMONDS
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Large scratches have torn through the gorgeous murals on the wall and the scorched
floor. You don’t want to think about what made those marks. Whoever first com-
ments on the marks keeps this card on their character sheet.
JACKCLUBS As soon as you get your bearings it becomes dark—warm and comforting, you
know nothing can get you if it can’t see you. Whoever revealed this card must do a
Whoopsie about it immediately, after which the darkness playfully lifts, as though
we’ve been pranked somehow, and we can put the card back in the box.
QUEENCLUBS An old, cracked vase rolls across the floor. In its cerulean glass you see an echo of
waves, thick hands commanding the shoreline, and hair that shines like the sea. A
song as old as the sea, full of sadness, fills your heart. We can deal with this card by
finding a way to cheer one another, and put it back in the box.
KINGCLUBS The remains of an old altar are against a broken window next to the door, and me-
moriam candles with faded smiles lay broken and unused for years. You feel too un-
comfortable to make an offering. We can deal with this card by doing a Whoopsie
about it, and put it back in the box.
ACECLUBS There’s a spray of dark stains against one wall. You don’t want to think about it.
Whoever present is the most squeamish places this card on their Character Sheet.
JACKSPADES Whiffs of herbal ingredients, burning stone, and ritual candles brush against your
nose. You become aware that the veil is thin here. We can deal with this card by col-
lecting a Diamond in another room, and return this card to the box.
QUEENSPADES Shadows dance across the wall, writhing with wild hair and flowing garments. They
cannot possibly all be yours. We can deal with this card by staying away until it dies
down: once we’ve each searched somewhere else, we can return this card to the box.
KINGSPADES The air in here is heavy and cloying, like putting a penny in your mouth. Your heart
beats quickly, uneasily. Put this card back in the box, quickly.
ACESPADES The air is hot in places and cold in others. You feel coveting eyes upon you. Whoever
revealed this card places it on their Character Sheet.
JACKHEARTS Something brushes you lightly on the shoulder, but the touch is comforting and
lonely rather than aggressive. How do you react? Do you feel lonely as well?
QUEENHEARTS You see the ghostly shape of a semi-familiar witch behind a burnt desk. You’re un-
used to seeing her smile this bright. She reaches to wave, and is gone. Consult The
Scarf.
KINGHEARTS In the broken mirror that lay shattered on the floor, you jump at the sight of a brief
reflection of kind old eyes, thick white hair, large glasses, and a mass of wrinkles. It’s
gone after a second. What did they gesture at you?
ACEHEARTS A brief scream cuts the air, thin and empty and not really there. You feel the unwel-
come impact of heat, blood, and fear, and worst of all, deep regret that it wasn’t you.
Whoever flipped the card places it on their Character Sheet.
#
416
THE KITCHEN
JACKDIAMONDS
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Broken bits of crockery litter the floor and a long counter. Surely some once held
salt and flour, but a few have traces indicating more arcane reagents. Do you see any
ingredients the Yazeba you know uses?
QUEENDIAMONDS A bright laugh peals through the stale, burnt air. For a moment you smell chicken
vindaloo, cafe con leche, vinegar pie, and other rich foods. What’s Yazeba’s favorite
food? Do you even know?
KINGDIAMONDS Under the shattered remains of the large farmhouse-style sink you find a bundle of
herbs that miraculously escaped the fire. What are they?
ACEDIAMONDS The remains of the curtains are ripped and tattered by more than just time. Why
would anything attack window dressings with such violence? Whoever notices their
colors first places this card on their Character Sheet.
JACKCLUBS The old stove sparks once, twice, then is cold again. There’s no smell of gas. We can
ensure the room is safe by doing a Bingo about it, and return this card to the box.
QUEENCLUBS Vintage postcards of Lacuna Beach paper one wall. You don’t recognize them; you’ve
never seen voids in that blue, blue sky before. Anyone can deal with this card by cover-
ing them or taking them down, and placing the card on their Character Sheet.
KINGCLUBS Under a part of wall covered in uncanny postcards you find a shakily carved penta-
gram emanating deeply distressing energy. You don’t want to think about what hap-
pened to the person who carved this. Return the card to the box. Now.
ACECLUBS Knives are stuck in the walls, as if thrown quickly and violently in an attack—or de-
fense. Whoever has the softest skin places this card on their Character Sheet.
JACKSPADES Some old spell tags are placed around the room, seemingly at random. What kind
of monster merited the use of such powerful sigils? If anyone recognizes the sigils,
place the card on their Character Sheet. Otherwise, return it to the box.
QUEENSPADES Your shadows detach, running about quite independently. In a breath they return to
you, but remain unattached. Place this card on Amelie’s Character Sheet.
KINGSPADES You feel a terrible, ancient hunger. Whoever flipped this card places it on their Char-
acter Sheet.
ACESPADES The fire burned hottest here. Scorched oil canisters and melted plastic affirm it. It’s
amazing there’s anything left. Whoever flipped this card keeps it on their Character
Sheet.
JACKHEARTS An old statue of some saint or spirit lies in the sink basin, wings and heads broken
off. You can only see hands raised in welcome; a friendly aura emanates from the
figure. Where was this standing before its unceremonious death in the sink?
QUEENHEARTS A shimmer sits at the battered remains of a large, round table; a familiar young
witch sharing food and medicine with her peers. You’re unused to seeing her smile.
Consult The Scarf.
KINGHEARTS An old cast iron skillet lies on the cracked tile, far from the rusted stove. Warm, wrinkled
hands once used it; it was seasoned to perfection. Do your eyes fill with tears?
ACEHEARTS There’s a massive stain of oil right in front of the sink, still dark and slick. You smell
spice and iron. Gertrude keeps this card on her Character Sheet.
THE GREENHOUSE #
417
JACKDIAMONDS
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Shattered remains of magnificent ceramic planters in various shapes lay here and
there. What grew in them? Were the plants happy here?
QUEENDIAMONDS A vision of a small seedling, then a tiny plant, then a huge, fruit-bearing bush looms
in your mind. Is there plant like this in the garden at the Bed & Breakfast?
KINGDIAMONDS An old cot covered in cobwebs, and a steamer trunk full of clothes. Someone loved
this greenhouse so much they slept here. What did this garden witch used to wear?
ACEDIAMONDS These walls were once fine glass, but are now shattered and stained. Whoever reveals
this card reaches out, mesmerized, and is cut—place it on their Character Sheet.
JACKCLUBS Instead of grow lamps there are cleverly enchanted crystals that provide all the light
a growing plant needs. But they haven’t been used for years now, and only react
briefly to the presence of a new witch. Someone with magical potential can deal
with this card by doing a Bingo to light them up, and return it to the box.
QUEENCLUBS An old pipe system groans and sprays a stream of brown water. Someone with me-
chanical know-how can do a Bingo to fix the leak, and return this card to the box.
JACKCLUBS A huge planter of gray soil sits in an aisle. Approaching it gives you the weirdest feeling
of dust and decay and mourning. It’s in the way, but nobody should touch it, right? If
someone does, they can deal with this card by placing it on their Character Sheet.
ACECLUBS Dark spatters dot the floor around a torn seed catalog, which must have held a trove
of heritage seeds. You wish you could’ve saved them. Whoever flips this card keeps it
on their Character Sheet.
JACKSPADES A blackened stump grows directly up through the tiles. A sigil is carved at the base
of the tree, still faintly thrumming with a half-completed spell from ages ago. We
can deal with this card by doing a Whoopsie about it, and put it back in the box.
QUEENSPADES You hear a whisper on the wind, and the earthy air of the greenhouse stirs slightly.
An unwelcome breeze brushes your face, but does not linger. Whoever revealed this
card must do a Whoopsie about it immediately, then may return it to the box.
KINGSPADES An ancient sigil on the floor is accompanied by inscriptions in Ladino, Old English,
and two languages you don’t recognize. It flares to life at your presence, but it’s been so
long, and it is so tired. We can deal with this card by staying away until it dies down:
once we’ve each searched somewhere else, we can return this card to the box.
ACESPADES This glorious space was once a paradise of life. Now, only the frayed remains of hanging
lights and rusted pipes remain. Amelie places this card on their Character Sheet.
JACKHEARTS There’s a small book under a wrought iron stand that lies upended on the floor. In
the front, you see “With love, Yazeba” scrawled on a title page. What book is it?
QUEENHEARTS A glittering figure in gardening gloves clips a sprig of rosemary as long as her arm.
She’d look familiar, if she weren’t laughing at someone’s joke. Consult The Scarf.
KINGHEARTS A flicker of light reveals the reflection of an elderly gardener tending to freshly
sprouted poisonous plants. After a moment, the reflection is gone, but the delicate
scent of belladonna flower remains. What other plants grew here?
ACEHEARTS An outline in the dirt; his love for this greenhouse was his undoing. He was so close to
the exit—he could have fled. He stayed among the flames anyway, and then it didn’t
matter how many orchids he saved. Amelie places this card on their Character Sheet.
# THE LIBRARY
418
JACKDIAMONDS Charcoal sketches are blown across the room, some scientific, others clearly more for
late chaPteRS a
artistic leisure. You can tell there were more. So many more. What kind of diagrams,
landscapes, and figures remain?
QUEENDIAMONDS A crystal ball, large as a human head, survived. A kind face in a vibrant headscarf
briefly dances across the surface, then disappears. Did they see all this coming?
KINGDIAMONDS Charred manuscripts in Hebrew and Sanskrit are piled in a silver holder. Their focus
is agriculture, weather, and geography. Could they be of any use to you now?
ACEDIAMONDS You’re struck by the size of the space; no library this size could possibly fit in the din-
gy ruin you’d seen from the sidewalk. But then again, this was a library of witches,
and you remember—anything is possible, isn’t it?
JACKCLUBS A tinkling laugh rings out from the skeletal remains of blackened bookshelves. You
have not earned the right to walk among forbidden knowledge. Whoever present has
a Journey closest to completion keeps this card on their Character Sheet.
QUEENCLUBS An old salty smell assaults your senses. This place is ancient and young simultaneous-
ly, like the deep and shallow sea. The inviting song of lost knowledge pulls you among
the maze of burnt shelves. Whoever flipped this card is lost in the Library until it’s
dealt with by revealing all of the remaining cards in the Library.
KINGCLUBS Runes decorate the remaining parts of the wooden floor, emanating a feeling of guilt.
You feel like you’re intruding. If you explore the Library anyway, do a Whoopsie
about it and place this card on your Character Sheet.
ACECLUBS A maze of perfect bookcases, a repository of arcane knowledge, all smashed and
burnt and blackened and charred. So much was lost here, in violence and fire. Ger-
trude places this card on her Character Sheet.
JACKSPADES There might have been manuscripts and first editions here that nowhere else will ever
have. So much knowledge, gone. Gertrude places this card on her Character Sheet.
QUEENSPADES The maze casts shadows in every direction. You can’t be sure you didn’t see some of
them moving, but as you enter the dusty, burnt space, they settle in place. Whoever re-
vealed this card must do a Whoopsie about it immediately, and return it to the box.
KINGSPADES A bowl with a dark stain lies in front of a cracked pedestal, emanating anger and re-
sentment. Its unholy shine catches your eye. You feel pinioned in place, like a butter-
fly specimen in a glass case. Whoever revealed this card is stuck. We can deal with it
by checking in on them with a Bingo, and return it to the box.
ACESPADES The rank smell of wood and lacquer gone up in smoke lingers, and your heart aches at
the care put into this place. Years of gathering, making, and restoring tomes, gone in—
what? A few hours? Whoever revealed this card places it on their Character Sheet.
JACKHEARTS A golden cage lays on its side in a nook that, once upon a time, was cozy and inviting.
Rat pellets are scattered everywhere and the metal frame is charred, but you still feel a
tiny, welcoming presence perched on it. Who is this friendly, fading ghost?
QUEENHEARTS A vision in the window: a young witch excitedly shows a passage to her neighbor at a car-
rel desk. You’ve never seen her so comfortable with another person. Consult The Scarf.
KINGHEARTS Someone spent countless hours here, cataloging the books, making things easy to find. If
you squint, you can just make out a flicker of a ghost tending the library as if it was still a
vibrant repository of information. What does the ghost do, before fading away?
ACEHEARTS The sound of roaring fire fills the air before dissipating quickly as it came. You feel an im-
pact, and heat, and hear a fervent, whispered prayer. Whoever revealed this card places it
on their Character Sheet.
THE DORMITORIES #
419
JACKDIAMONDS The hallways are painted with sacred geometries and intricate floral patterning. You
a late chaPteRS
find sigils for peace, compassion, and harmony. Why didn’t these protections work here?
QUEENDIAMONDS A rush of cool air passes you in the hallway, accompanied by pounding footsteps. It’s
easy to imagine people traversing this hallway to and from their cozy little rooms.
How do these rooms compare to those at the Bed and Breakfast?
KINGDIAMONDS Someone put hooks in the long hallway’s ceiling that might’ve once held—what?
Lights? Houseplants? Signage? It’s all gone now.
ACEDIAMONDS The hallways are painted with beautiful sacred geometries and intricate floral pat-
terning. Massive claw marks rend through the artwork as if it were wet paper. Who-
ever revealed this card places it on their Character Sheet.
JACKCLUBS You find an old illusionist’s coin on the tile floor, under a mural of an archangel’s cube
and yellow ivy and daffodils. One side has a bird on it. The other is too blackened by
fire to make out. Whoever would like to keep the coin can do a Whoopsie about it,
and return this card and any cards Crossing them to the box.
QUEENCLUBS One door is painted with a glorious view of an emerald green ocean, contrasting with
the geometric wall murals. The door is seemingly locked, but there are ways to bypass
witch locks. We can do a Bingo to deal with this card and return it to the box.
KINGCLUBS Before one of the many doors in the hallway is a small sigil carved politely into the
floor. It lights up as you approach, then fades out feebly. The room beyond feels dark
and comforting. Anyone may deal with this card by spending a few silent minutes
inside, then return the card to the box.
ACECLUBS A door hangs in the damp, moldy hallway, halfway torn from its hinges and marred by fe-
rocious gouges. Whoever feels most vulnerable places this card on their Character Sheet.
JACKSPADES Sigils invoking spirits of protection and health are carved all along the baseboards to a
long, damp hallway—what’s left of them. Someone took great care to protect this place.
It didn’t work. The sigils flare up in response to your presence, as if readying themselves
to protect against a new threat. Someone with magical potential can deal with this card
by doing a Bingo to placate them, and return the card to the box.
QUEENSPADES An unpleasant laugh reaches your ears, as if daring you to try and follow without fall-
ing through the rotting floorboards. Whoever revealed this card must do a Whoop-
sie about it immediately, and then we can return it to the box.
KINGSPADES A horrible dark stain marks the corridor wall, and though the damp hallway has
many scorch marks, this is the only mark of its kind you can find. We can’t deal with
this card, but we can try to ignore it: shuffle it back into the Dormitories pile.
ACESPADES This long hallway stinks of mold and damp, but the fires didn’t spare it. You see
scorch marks everywhere—almost as if something intentionally aimed at certain
spots. Whoever revealed this card places it on their Character Sheet.
JACKHEARTS Each door once bore a sign, painted by someone with a skilled and loving hand. The
names are faded, but can you make out some of the designs and personalized flourishes?
QUEENHEARTS This room at the end of the hall...it had to be hers. It was tidy and colorful, not at all like her
dark and cluttered den today. You catch a whiff of perfume and cigarettes. Consult The Scarf.
KINGHEARTS You find a room furnished not unlike a grandma’s. Old crochet covers and a heating
pad for the feet lie scattered across the floor—people of all ages were comfortable here.
Where did they all go, after?
ACEHEARTS You hear a forlorn whisper in a voice you don’t recognize, and you know she wasn’t
there to save them. Whoever revealed this card places it on their character sheet.
#
420
THE STUDY
JACKDIAMONDS
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A horribly mangled wooden shelving unit that must have been beautiful once lays
upended, strewing ruined art supplies about—a half-empty tube of wood cure, dried
out paintbrushes, a chisel. What did they carve on the old shelf?
QUEENDIAMONDS An scattered array of wooden divining sticks and bones lie on the floor, still thrum-
ming slightly with psychic echoes. What does their current arrangement portend?
KINGDIAMONDS You’re surprised by a few pots and planters in here—wouldn’t succulents and snake
plants be kept in the greenhouse? But someone kept them here, in this dusty win-
dow, and loved them. How well did the pots survive the fire?
ACEDIAMONDS Posters of arcane rituals, herbal references, and ley line maps once papered these
walls. You can barely make them out now. Do you recognize any of the directions
that survived the fire? If so, place this card on your Character Sheet.
JACKCLUBS A slight tapping emanates from one side of the study, friendly and playful. It in-
creases in volume and frequently until it stops quickly, suddenly. Angrily. Whoever
revealed this card places it on their Character Sheet.
QUEENCLUBS A dust-covered velvet painting of an emerald green ocean leans against the wall, for-
gotten, in a dark corner. It fills the room with implausible coldness, its baleful colors
emanating chill. Someone who’s immune to cold can deal with this card by doing a
Whoopsie about it, and return it to the box.
KINGCLUBS A stack of charred—but inexplicably intact—books sits upon the remains of an
elaborately carved wooden desk. Somehow, the corpse candles next to them also
survived the fire unmelted. If you touch and look through the dreadful texts, place
this card on your Character Sheet. Otherwise, shuffle this card into the room with
the most remaining cards.
ACECLUBS Most of the desks in here have been smashed beyond repair. A fire couldn’t have
done that on its own. Whoever revealed this card keeps it on their Character Sheet.
JACKSPADES Some odd orbs and flashing lights dance across the room, blowing ash and smoke
on your face as if daring you to follow them. Whoever revealed this card must do a
Whoopsie about it immediately, then returns it to the box.
QUEENSPADES Shadows run across the floor, almost as if fleeing something—and you hear the
floorboards creak heavily. Something approaches, but all you feel is sheer dread. You
have to get out. You don’t know what it is. You have to get out. We can deal with this
card by staying away until it moves on: once we’ve all searched somewhere else, we
can return this card to the box.
KINGSPADES Iron essence and copper scent fill the air, almost suffocating. Something ancient and
terrible once slithered through the glass window, and it stunk of blood and bone. We
can deal with this card by finding a way to make the air here breathable again, and
return the card to the box.
ACESPADES This room was largely spared the fire, but something worse happened here. Ancient
guts and old poems sully the air, and the floor is oily with regret and ichor. Ar-
cane rituals couldn’t even save them. Whoever revealed this card places it on their
Character Sheet.
JACKHEARTS The bronze statue of a traveler spirit stands in the glass window, stained by ichor and
anguish. Its open hands are worn smooth and shining from repeated touch. What
offerings did they drape from its arms, and around its neck?
QUEENHEARTS A flicker of someone sits at an upended, broken chair, her bony back curved as she #
studies something intently. You’ve never seen her spells suffused with joy like this, as 421
she twists and turns the floating runes. Consult The Scarf.
a late chaPteRS
KINGHEARTS An old wheelchair sits on its side, one wheel full of bent spokes and a handle com-
pletely broken. The seat sags and the lovingly painted front wheels are chipped. You
see glyphs and sigils all along it—how was it enchanted?
ACEHEARTS An old wheelchair sits on its side, one wheel full of bent spokes and a handle com-
pletely broken. The seat sags and the lovingly painted front wheels are chipped. The
cloth backing of the chair is stained dark. Whoever revealed this card places it on
their Character Sheet.
#
422
Back To School86
CHAPTER
z Hey Kid, Gertrude, Moon Prince,
p anyone but grownups
a late chaPteRS
first time she’d stepped foot in the most private room of the witch’s house, but it
never failed to take her breath away. She skirted around a massive astrolabe (her
breath catching as she nearly knocked it over) and came to stand by the witch’s
mahogany desk, where shimmering crystals, twirling pendants, and unidentifiable
mystical apperati surrounded a clunky ink-stained typewriter.
Yazeba was asleep, face down on the desk, pressed against a piece of paper.
Gertrude could read only two words near the top: "Hey Kid.”
She put the tea down onto the table, and the witch awoke with a start.
“Forms afire! What are you doing here?” She unstuck the page from her face and
swept it under an eerily-lifelike silver monkey statuette.
“It’s ten a.m., and I figured I’d bring you some tea.” She looked over at the monkey.
“What’s up with the paper you just hid?”
Yazeba snarled, and went to mutter a condescending lie. But she could feel
Gertrude’s eyebrow raise under her mask, and the witch swallowed her pride. “It’s
from the government. They’ve been getting on my case about the Kid, saying that
if they’re not enrolled in at least one year of classes, then agents will start coming
around and…asking questions.”
“What are you going to do then?”
“What else?” Yazeba shrugged, and let out a weary sigh. “I stayed up all night
figuring out how to enroll Kid at the local high school. Starts Monday.”
Gertrude turned as white as a sheet. “No! You can’t send Hey Kid to high school!
They’re…they’re going to get eaten alive!”
Yazeba sighed, looked down at her desk, and sipped from her tea. “Not much can
be done. Quit worrying—they’ll be fine.”
Gertrude felt hot tears well up under her mask. She stormed out of the study
without another word, leaving Yazeba alone.
0
The Moon Prince was still wearing pajamas, steadily making their way down the
many flights of stairs. It had been a while since they’d crash-landed on Earth, but
their heart and bones still hadn’t adjusted to the heavier gravity. And so they nearly
tripped over Gertrude, who was curled up at the corner of the landing, sobbing.
“Woah, hey—Gertrude, what’s wrong?” They gracefully pulled themself onto the
stairs, and rested their hand close to Gertrude’s shoulder.
“Yazeba…Yazeba’s making Hey Kid go to high school,” Gertrude uttered these
words with such venom that the Moon Prince was worried it might peel up the
tacky wallpaper.
# “What’s the harm in that? I’ve seen a lot of Earth movies, and high school didn’t
424 seem that bad…”
late chaPteRS a
Gertrude sighed. “You wouldn’t get it. High school is where creativity goes to die.
You take happy kids and you,” she mimed crushing the air like a trash compactor.
“And all you’re left with are soulless corporate drones, ready to live identical pointless
lives. The moment Hey Kid steps foot in that place…”
The Moon Prince sat for a moment, their heart heavy. “Is there any way we
can help?”
Gertrude shrugged with defeat. “What am I even gonna do MP? Go back to high
school pretending to be an ordinary Veilridge resident so I can keep our favorite
demon child safe from complete existential collapse?”
“Hey, that’s not a bad idea. And besides, you wouldn’t have to do it alone. I’ve
always wanted to go to school and see what it’s like for you human teens.”
Gertrude blinked. “I mean…I’m down if you are. Just, can you promise me one
thing?” She fidgeted with the seam of her hoodie. “I didn’t think I’d ever be back at
school, and I don’t think I could do it alone. You’ll stick with me, right MP?”
Moon Prince wrapped one arm around Gertrude. “I promise. We got this.”
0
Hey Kid stared at the Moon Prince with wide-open eyes. “I’m going to school? I’ve
never been to school before!” Their grubby hands furiously scrabbled through the
backpack full of folders, notebooks, pencils and calculators.
“Yep! And we’ll be with you every step of the way.” The Moon Prince beamed. “It’ll
be an adventure! Think of all the things you’ll get to learn about.”
Gertrude did her best to sound excited. “Yeah, we’re going to get to…
do homework…”
The Moon Prince glanced over, and smiled even wider to compensate. “Make new
friends!”
“Get into arguments—”
“—About how much fun you’ll have at parties!” Moon Prince’s elbow found a home
in Gertrude’s side, and she reluctantly smiled under her mask.
“Gertrude, MP, don’t worry.” Hey Kid cracked their knuckles, trying to act way
more confident than they actually were. “We got this. When it comes to making
friends and talking about cool things, I’m a pro. This will be awesome. Besides, how
hard can one year of school be?”
0
FRANTIC MOOD #
425
Before this Chapter starts, we’ll put a big pile of Chaos Coins where everyone can
a late chaPteRS
reach them. Whenever anyone wants to tick a track, they’ll consult
their Chaos Coins:
+ If they don’t have any Chaos Coins, they succeed
right away, and take a Chaos Coin.
+ If they do have Chaos Coins, they flip all of them
at once, and if all the coins come up heads, they
succeed! Otherwise, they don’t tick the track and
must do a Whoopsie about it. Either way, they take
another Chaos Coin.
Anyone can cash in five Chaos Coins to tick a track right away. When any of us does a
Bingo, they may give away all their Chaos Coins to someone else, making the whole mess
their problem. (That person shouldn’t then turn around and return the coins with a new Bingo—
no tag backs!)
DAY PLANNERS
High school is a constant battle, where students must balance academic achievement and
social acceptance to survive. At the beginning of the Chapter, each student takes some
paper and labels it their planner. Whenever you describe a student, teacher or group at
school, note them down on your planner. Decorate the planner however you want, and
draw two boxes, leaving space beneath each one for talleys as the Chapter progresses.
In this Chapter, you divide your Chaos Coins into two pools, one for Schoolin’ and one
for Foolin’.
Stress in high school hangs around
for longer than it does back home.
When you do a Bingo in this
Chapter, you can give away your
Chaos Coins from either pool.
THE
CALENDAR
As the Chapter progresses through
the school year, keep track of it on
the Calendar, starting on The First
Day of Classes. As you proceed
through the Calendar, consult each
associated section.
# FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
426
When Sal drops everyone off in front of the squat, brick school building of Veilridge High,
late chaPteRS a
everyone should describe their crisp new back-to-school outfits, what emotion they’re
hiding, and where they sit during class. Whenever you want to make a good first impression
at school, pick a Small Victory and consult your corresponding coin pool. If you succeed,
mark a tally for yourself under that heading. Each student can have any particular Small
Victory only once.
Small victories
O Pay attention during class. (Schoolin’)
O Raise your hand and answer a question when no one else was willing to. (Schoolin’)
O Get all of your homework done. (Schoolin’)
O Make a new friend, and tell us about them. (Foolin’)
O Figure out where you’re sitting during lunch. (Foolin’)
O Join an afterschool club, and tell us about it. (Foolin’)
Whenever you would have to do a Whoopsie, check off one of the Major Setbacks instead.
When all of the Major Setbacks are checked off or everyone has at least three victory tallies
marked, we’ll move on to the Fall Semester.
Major Setbacks
O Hey Kid: Tell us about a teacher and how you frustrate them in class.
O Gertrude: Tell us about a group of students who bully you, and how they do it.
O Moon Prince: Tell us about a group of students, and what they pressure you to do.
O Anyone: Tell us how you ruin your outfit.
O Anyone: Tell us how you reveal an embarrassing gap in knowledge between you
and your peers.
O Anyone: Tell us how you get detention—on the FIRST DAY!
a late chaPteRS
work on. Multiple students can choose the same
Track.
O Get all A+s this semester. Reward: 5 tallies
under Schoolin’
O Join a study group to cram for the
midterms. Reward: 4 tallies under Schoolin’
and 1 under Foolin’
O Complete a big group project. Reward: 3
tallies under Schoolin’ and 2 under Foolin’
O Become the president of a club, sport,
QSA, or other extracurricular. Reward: 2
tallies under Schoolin’ and 3 under Foolin’
O Get accepted into a clique, and sit with
them at lunch. Reward: 1 tally under
Schoolin’ and 4 under Foolin’
O Prove that you’re cool to the most popular
or notorious clique in school. Reward: 5
tallies under Foolin’
growing pains
Gertrude, Hey Kid and Moon Prince each have two extra Whoopsies during this time
of year.
U Gertrude: Point out a way that the school trains everyone to submit to authority
and conform. Give another student a Chaos Coin under Schoolin’.
U Gertrude: Rudely withdraw from your friends when you realize that they’re
adapting better than you. Give another student a Chaos Coin under Foolin’.
U Hey Kid: Need extra help on your homework and drag a friend into tutoring you
at the expense of their own. Give another student a Chaos Coin under Schoolin’.
U Hey Kid: Cling to your older friends and cramp their style. Give another student a
Chaos Coin under Foolin’.
U Moon Prince: Try to explain something, but make your friend feel stupid instead.
Give another student a Chaos Coin under Schoolin’.
U Moon Prince: Ditch everyone else to go hang out with your new friends. Give
another student a Chaos Coin under Foolin’.
Whenever you complete a Track, let the table know. The Fall Semester ends once every
student has completed at least one Track.
#
428
HOMECOMING
The first big formal of Veilridge High is upon us, and the gymnasium has been awkwardly
late chaPteRS a
converted into a tinsel-covered ballroom. Tell everyone what outfit you’re wearing to home-
coming, why you’re wearing it, and consult the table below based on how many tallies in
Foolin’ you have.
+ 6+ Tallies: You arrive with your clique, color-coordinated and well-prepared. Why
are you still worried you don’t fit in?
+ 3-5 Tallies: You arrive with a single friend, someone who invited you. Why do you
trust them, against your better judgment?
+ Fewer than 3 Tallies: You arrive entirely alone, without any friends. Why are you
here?
You can skip homecoming if you would like, in order to study for the upcoming midterms.
If you do, erase all your Foolin’ tallies and get 2 Schoolin’ tallies. Write “LOSER” in your
planner.
MIDTERMS
Midterms are here, and everyone is taking tests, scrambling for help, and getting their
semester report cards. Consult the table below to see how well you did in school. You don’t
have to tell anyone your results.
+ 6+ Tallies: You’ve gotten As in all your classes. You’re an honors student! Why
does that make you feel lonely?
+ 3-5 Tallies: You get good grades in most of your classes except one. Choose which
class you’re barely passing, and which you got an A in. Why do you still not feel
good enough?
+ Fewer than 3 Tallies: You are failing multiple classes. Why do you bother?
You can cheat at the midterms if you want, cashing in on some cred in order to get a better
grade. If you do, erase all your Schoolin’ tallies, get 2 Foolin’ tallies, and decide what grades
you got. Write “CHEATER” in your planner.
WINTER BREAK
School is out for two weeks, and we should decide, as a group, what to do with our break:
If we decide to do a good job on the mountain of homework we’ve been assigned, every-
one should take one Chaos Coin into each of their pools, then mark three tallies under
Schoolin’. Walk away from the table for at least 15 minutes to drink water, stretch, and use
the bathroom before returning to the game.
If we decide to go back to our normal magical adventures for two weeks, we’ll pause this
Chapter and go play an earlier Chapter of Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast with these characters
(preferably one that seems appropriately wintry and fun). When we complete it, we’ll come
back, and each of us may lose one Chaos Coin and mark three tallies under Foolin’.
THE SPRING SEMESTER #
429
School starts in the last dark mornings of winter, and Sal is half asleep when he drops you
a late chaPteRS
off for school near dawn. Everyone should chat about the following questions while jotting
down their answers in their Planners:
+ How has the school changed since the Fall?
+ Why did one of your classes suddenly get way, way harder?
+ Who has changed dramatically over the break?
+ Who is treating you way differently than they did last semester?
+ Where do you sit during lunch?
+ Do you have enough layers for cold mornings and hot afternoons?
extra curriculars
Then, each student chooses two tracks to work on.
+ 2-Part Track: Slack off—none of this matters anyway. Reward: 2 tallies
under Foolin’.
+ 3-Part Track: Work hard at all your classes. Reward: 4 tallies under Schoolin’.
+ 4-part Track: Find someone special to go to Prom with you, and tell us who.
Reward: 6 tallies under Foolin’.
+ 5-Part Track: Make real friends with a teacher, who can be your mentor. Reward:
6 tallies under Schoolin’.
+ 6-Part Track: Abandon your current group of friends to fit in with an even cooler
clique. Reward: 9 tallies under Foolin’. Write “TRAITOR” in your Planner.
+ 7-Part Track: Uncover and reveal a secret ring of cheaters working within the
school. Reward: 10 tallies under
Schoolin’. Write “SNITCH” in
your Planner.
+ 8-Part Track: Plan and execute an
outrageous prank for the last day of
school. Reward: 12 tallies
under Foolin’.
+ 9-Part Track: Become valedictorian
of your grade. Reward: 15 tallies
under Schoolin’. Draw a crown in
your Planner.
+ 10-Part Track: Become the
universally agreed-upon most
popular kid in school, beloved by all.
Reward: 15 tallies under Foolin’. Draw
a crown in your Planner.
#
430
School is Other people
Gertrude, Hey Kid and Moon Prince each have two extra Whoopsies during this time
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of year.
U Gertrude: Snap at Hey Kid in a moment of thoughtless frustration. Double all of
Hey Kid’s Chaos Coins.
U Gertrude: Tell the Moon Prince all the ways they’ve hurt you. Double all of the
Moon Prince’s Chaos Coins.
U Hey Kid: Pick a fight with a bully, then hide behind Gertrude. Double all of
Gertrude’s Chaos Coins.
U Hey Kid: Have a huge explosive meltdown in the hallway right in front of the
Moon Prince. Double all of the Moon Prince’s Chaos Coins.
U Moon Prince: Tell Getrude exactly what she’s doing wrong if she wants to survive
high school. Double all of Gertrude’s Chaos Coins.
U Moon Prince: Fall apart in front of Hey Kid, and make them feel hopeless about
their own chances. Double all of Hey Kid’s Chaos Coins.
Whenever a student completes a track, let the table know. The Spring Semester ends once
every student but one has completed a track.
FINALS WEEK
Draw up a little report card for yourself in your Planner, with 4 classes that you took this
year. Spend Schoolin’ tallies to get grades:
+ 1 Tally: You barely (just barely!) passed this class.
+ 2 Tallies: You got a decent grade in this class.
+ 4 Tallies: You aced this class! Write a Bingo, Whoopsie, or Fact on your Character
Sheet related to something you learned in this class.
If you don’t spend any tallies on a class, that means you failed it. If you passed all of your
classes, write “I graduated from high school!” under your Facts About Me. Additionally, you
can spend any excess Schoolin’ tallies on the following:
+ 1 Tally: You found a cool book. Take an index card, write the name of the book, its
author, and a bit about what it’s about, and give it to the Bed & Breakfast
for safekeeping.
+ 3 Tallies: You discovered something you’re passionate about. Write a Bingo,
Whoopsie, or Fact on your Character Sheet related to your newfound passion.
+ 5 Tallies: You got accepted into a prestigious college. The B&B gets a Tassel
and Mortar.
You don’t want to show your grades to your friends, instead describe Yazeba’s reaction to the
report card she gets in the mail. Once everyone knows their grades, we’ll move on to Prom.
PROM #
431
The big capstone event that the whole year has been building to is here, and tensions are
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high. No matter how the school year has gone so far, everyone’s memories of what it was
like will pivot on just this one night.
Who do you arrive with? How good a match is your friendship? How good a match are
your outfits? (Sal can take you if nobody else will, but he’s not exactly “high school cool.”)
Play out Prom like any other scene, but don’t use Bingos and Whoopsies normally.
Instead, you may spend Foolin’ tallies at any point in order to do one of the following:
+ 1 Tally: Do one of your Whoopsies.
+ 2 Tallies: Recognize how someone made your year better.
+ 3 Tallies: Do one of your Bingos.
+ 4 Tallies: Apologize to someone, and make peace.
+ 5 Tallies: Reveal the true nature of one of your enemies to the whole school.
+ 7 Tallies: Turn a school friendship into a real, actual, meaningful friendship.
+ 10 Tallies: Get elected the Prom Monarch, or steal the title from someone else.
The Bed & Breakfast gets a Prom Sash.
Prom ends once everyone has run out of Tallies.
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be forgotten again. In the middle of the night Gertrude awoke, but it wasn’t from the
shrill beep of the washing machine’s finished cycle.
One word skipped out from Gertrude then, her mind still half-unconscious and
clinging to the epiphany:
“Locket…”
Hanging a “Do No Disturb” sign upon the jeweled handle to Yazeba’s bedroom
door was unnecessary; the door itself stood imposingly, monolithic at the end of the
hall. Yet Gertrude stood, still dressed in her sleeping clothes and illuminated only by
the moonlight. Her fist hung in the air for what felt like minutes, mustering up the re-
solve to finally knock. But as soon she took a steely breath to do it, the door swung
open of its own accord.
“Frost afire! What is it, girl?!”
“M-Ma’am?”
“If you so desire to knock upon my door, then for heavens’ sake, do it! Better my
sleep be interrupted by the noise than by your incessant intendings!”
Gertrude took the verbal lashing in stride, neither cowering nor apologizing, her
fist still hanging in the air.
The silence stood for a moment. “Well?” Yazeba demanded, though any true heat
in her voice had fizzled out.
Gertrude swallowed and mirrored Yazeba’s posture. “I need you to show me the
Obtaining Spell…”
Gertrude had borne witness to it only twice, but she’d taken rapt note of the
details, quietly marveling when a tangible artifact appeared in Yazeba’s hands from
thin air: a mug of coffee, a ripe tropical fruit from a distant land—and perhaps now,
a treasured locket.
The witch wasted no breath asking why Gertrude suddenly needed to know this
spell in the middle of the night. Even through her mask, Yazeba could see some-
thing in the teenager’s eye that had been only a flicker, a year ago. She languidly
outstretched one arm, ignoring how Gertrude’s posture temporarily pivoted from
confident to confused. A second later, a luxurious robe flew from some hidden cor-
ner of the room and covered the heartless witch.
Yazeba stalked swiftly past her, murmuring, “To the study, then.” It took Gertrude
a second to remember to follow, as shocked as she was thankful to have been taken
seriously. Candles lit themselves at their entrance, casting an amber glow all around
them. They sat across from each other on the floor, with the length of Yazeba’s robe
hiding whether her legs were crossed, bent at the knees, or hovering above the
ground entirely.
# Though the logistics of the Obtaining Spell were simple enough, those tended to
434 be the most difficult to execute. Foraging for specific herbs to mince, ferment, and
boil for a spell was time-consuming, but ultimately foolproof.
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“Whatever item you wish you obtain is just a distraction,” the elder witch yawned,
sage wisdom tempered by sleepiness. “Your main focus must be the place it rests.
If you can’t visualize that, we should just go back to bed.”
“I understand.” Gertrude nodded with feigned confidence, gripping her knees a
tad too tightly for support.
“And,” Yazeba interjected with force, her annoyance of having her pearls of wis-
dom brushed off so easily not escaping Gertrude, “Knowing why you desire this item
so badly, is also key.”
“I guess I—”
“You guess? You’ll need to do more than that if you want this spell to work.”
“I understand.” A beat of silence nestled between them, enough time for both to
recenter and bite back whatever venom was still on their tongues.
“Well then. Begin.”
Small aspects of Gertrude’s childhood home, seemingly unimportant things,
began to emerge in her mind. The matte finish of that checkered linoleum kitchen
floor, the familiar squeal from the rusted door-hinge in the bathroom—each minute
detail grounded her even more. She turned her mind to travel upstairs, towards the
attic. The locket was tucked away somewhere up there, beyond a canopy of cob-
webs and with only the occasional moth for company.
But before Gertrude could bring down the trapdoor’s ladder, another door in the
dimly-imagined hallway stole her focus:
There was someone behind it, or multiple people, or maybe she was wrong and
no one was there at all. Panic seized her heart at the sight of it. Even more so when
it began to creak open, light and shadows spilling into the hallway—
“I—I changed my mind!” she yelped, suddenly back in Yazeba’s study, staring down
an impatient witch. “It—It’s just some old locket, Yazeba. It can stay put. It’s probably
not even…meant for me.”
She tried not to cry, not in front of Yazeba, but there was no use; the tears were
already on their way too fast and hot to blink back. Knowing the effort was fruitless
didn’t stop Gertrude from covering the holes of her mask entirely in the palms of
her hands, as if she were a child hiding from a monster. Maybe, if she couldn’t see
Yazeba, then Yazeba couldn’t see her either.
Yazeba’s voice was, as always, as hollow as her heart. But somehow, there was a
little warmth in it. “Gertrude. Why do you want this locket so badly?”
“It’s an heirloom,” Gertrude’s shaky tone grew more stable as she went on. She
remembered grabbing at it, as her nana held her in those soft, pillowy arms, and
recited what she’d been told: “It was passed down from mother to daughter for #
generations. But my grandma only had my dad, who only had me and my—well, you 435
know. So it’s been…stowed away for a while. Since she. Passed.”
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“Hm,” and if Yazeba had a pipe on her person, it would’ve been the perfect time
for a knowing drag or two. “So you don’t think it was meant for you, then? That locket
isn’t rightfully yours?”
“No! It is!”
The answer came out so fast that Gertrude wondered, for a moment, if Yazeba
had sneaked some sort of Truth spell onto her, but no, not by how the old witch’s
mouth twitched in the corner, threatening to betray a smile.
“Then what’s the hitch?”
“I just—I didn’t think I’d have to go past that room to get it.”
“You don’t live there anymore,” Yazeba said, taking Gertrude’s hands in hers, which
they both noted with muted surprise. “You have the right to claim what’s yours. And
when you do, you will be back home, safe, and…I’ll be right here the whole time.”
A faint warmth spread from Yazeba’s palms onto her own, whether it was magic or
just body heat. In a silent mantra, Gertrude repeated Yazeba’s affirmations of home,
of safety, and of family. Real home, real family. She could feel the tears drying out
underneath her mask, but her eyes were even clearer than before.
“I’m ready to try again.”
0
PREPARING THE RETRIEVAL SPELL
Before the Chapter begins, prepare a deck of cards to represent Gertrude’s memories.
+ First, spread out the Hearts cards face up on the table. These are Gertrude’s
memories of love. To begin, Yazeba claims the Queen of Hearts and places it in
front of herself. Then each of Gertrude’s other friends claim a Hearts card from
the table as well. Remove the Hearts face cards from the play area, then shuffle the
rest (2 through 10) together.
+ Shuffle all 13 Clubs cards together with the Hearts. These are Gertrude’s
memories of places.
+ Shuffle the 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6 of Diamonds together with the other cards. There are
Gertrude’s memories of pride. (Gertrude doesn’t believe she has many of these.)
Remove all other Diamonds cards from the play area.
+ Shuffle the 2 through 10 of Spades together with the other cards. These are
Gertrude’s memories of pain.
+ Finally, draw a circle and write the words The Basement inside it. Trap the Ace,
Jack, Queen, and King of Spades inside the basement. These are memories so
intense that Gertrude has buried them.
#
436
PLAYING WITH PAIN
Before starting this Chapter, it’s a good idea for the group to talk about our boundar-
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ies, especially around injury, family, transphobia, dysphoria, neglect, and abuse. We’re in
control of whether and how these themes may arise, but only if we’re all on the same page
about them.
To Gertrude’s player: Before you close your eyes to start the Chapter, hold these facts
in your heart. Your goal is not to describe the most horrible things you can think of, but to
tell us, truthfully, what the hardships of Gertrude’s former life were like. As always, draw
from your own experiences, not the experiences of others (especially those with identities
you don’t share).
We can always pause this Chapter to take some space, discuss whether we’re comfortable,
make a change to how we’re playing, or stop entirely.
Connection
When Gertrude starts to drift, her friends can use the memory attached to one of their
Keepsakes, describing it aloud to Gertrude. She can jump to it, for a moment, to recover. They
give the used Keepsake to the Concierge to be archived, and collect the card that was trou-
bling Gertrude, who can move on to her next memory when she’s ready.
Projection
Gertrude’s friends can return the Hearts card they picked to represent themselves at the
beginning of the Chapter to the box, and project themselves into the memory that’s troubling
Gertrude. There, they can do a Bingo or a Whoopsie to protect her, then collect the card that
was troubling Gertrude. When she moves to the next memory, they return to the real world.
If nobody can stop Gertrude from drifting, destroy one of her Keepsakes without looking at #
it. If Gertrude runs out of Keepsakes, the conjuring works in reverse, banishing her present 437
self. Lock her Character Sheet and get her a brand new one, at the start of her very first
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Journey. She remembers coming to the Bed & Breakfast, but nothing that’s come after. The
Chapter ends when Yazeba sends everyone to bed.
As Gertrude processes the painful memories at the fringes of her childhood, she’s more
likely to encounter the big ones—whether she’s ready for them or not. Every time she or
one of her friends collects a Spades card, mark one of the bottommost segments of the
pyramid.
When the 1st, 3rd, or 5th layer of the pyramid fills up, shuffle the lowest value Spades
card from the basement into the deck.
When the 2nd, 4th, or 6th layer of the pyramid fills up, Gertrude’s Diamonds cards
count as one higher value for the purposes of overcoming Spades cards.
Yazeba should especially help manage this part of the spell, since Gertrude is new to all
of this and has her eyes closed.
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cards of 10 or lower from the deck and return them to the box. Then, shuffle the Ace of
Diamonds into the deck.
When Gertrude reveals the Ace of Diamonds, she finally locates her locket. She’ll tell us
the look on her face and what she’s feeling as she finds it in as much or as little detail as she
likes. Gertrude may open her eyes, to see the locket in her hands in the present, and thank
her friends for their help.
The Chapter ends when Yazeba tells Gertrude how well she did at the conjuring spell.
Gertrude distributes any collected cards evenly amongst herself and her friends to use as
Leftovers during Housekeeping, and the Bed & Breakfast gets an Heirloom Locket and
a Book Of Magic.
If Gertrude has a witch hat doodled on her Character Sheet, and this is the first time
she’s played this Chapter, the locket represents her connection to her magic. Replace one of
her Bingos with “Work a subtle act of magic to help bring peace,” and one of her Whoopsies
with “Work an act of incredible magic, which doesn’t help at all.” She is a Witch now.
If Gertrude has a flaming heart doodled on her Character Sheet, and this is the first time
she’s played this Chapter, the locket represents her connection between her past, present,
and family. Replace one of her Bingos with “Remind everyone of home with the perfect
snack,” and one of her Whoopsies with “Help out someone else, to my detriment.” The Bed
& Breakfast is her Family now.
#
440
Goodbye Yazeba99
CHAPTER
z Yazeba p all of her dearest friends
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the day before, and it was time to start something new.
Yazeba had never announced that she’d be leaving, or when, but the possibility
had hung heavy over the Bed & Breakfast for some time, so when she broke the
news over brunch, it was a surprise to no one.
Well—it was a surprise to no one but Hey Kid.
“You’re LEAVING?!”
“Yes,” Yazeba said, calmly and evenly, for she’d rehearsed this conversation in her
head many times. “I’m thinking it’s time for me to do a little traveling.”
“Where are you going?” The Moon Prince’s eyes were wide.
“None of your busi—” Yazeba caught herself. Old habits die hard. “I don’t know yet.
We’ll see.”
Amelie looked up from their crossword puzzle. “When do you depart?”
Yazeba tilted her head in the direction of the window, where a small brown suit-
case covered in stickers was airing out on a clothesline. “This afternoon. I’ve still got
some packing to do.”
Gertrude nodded solemnly, staring into her coffee. It was, of course, inevitable,
but in this moment she was still grateful for her mask.
Parish held out another pancake for Yazeba with his spatula. She declined, but
when he said, “You’ll be needing seconds, then. To fortify you,” she reconsidered.
Let the old frog have his way.
“Sort of a big change for the business,” Sal ventured, looking out the window
at the clouds and pushing his eggs around his plate. “What’ll happen to the Bed &
Breakfast?”
She shook her head. “Hardly a change at all. I barely run this place, you all know
that. S’just my name over the door.”
“Are you ever coming back?!” Hey Kid asked. They had hopped out of their chair
and were pacing back and forth, as if they kept deciding to leave the kitchen and
then deciding against it in a loop.
“Certainly!” Yazeba said. “Though not for some time, at least, and probably not for
too long.”
A moment passed.
“We’ll see,” she added, more quietly.
0
Yazeba sat alone in her room, surrounded by the years and years of knickknacks
and tchotchkes she had amassed.
One by one her clothes, which normally lay scattered across the floor or hidden
# in a closet she would never open, folded themselves and laid down in her suitcase.
442 Some of them she scowled at, and they floated neatly into a sack instead, bound for
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the thrift store. Once all her clothes were sorted, all the various ornaments, crystals,
pendants and unidentifiable mystical apperati that covered every spare surface of
her room formed a single file line and marched into the luggage.
Finally, once all the paintings and furniture with which she couldn’t bear to part
had clambered into the overstuffed suitcase, Yazeba was left sitting in a bare, dusty
room. She picked up her typewriter from the wooden floor, and collapsed it into a
tiny box before sliding it in among her luggage.
With the typewriter gone, the papers tucked beneath it fluttered loose, and she
shifted through them carefully. A polaroid photo of the Earth. Hey Kid’s adoption pa-
perwork. Amelie’s warranty. Sal’s W4 form, Parish’s gallant cover letter…and a news-
paper clipping, yellowed with age.
A knock at the door. “Yazeba? Are you in there?” Gertrude’s voice rang from outside.
ments.
3 — S e p 22 a te u n fa m iliar environ Don’t
Aug 2 g to nav ig change .
fi c u lt a n d n er ve wrackin r y, and you just need ar you go, and a
It can be dif the world is big and scao care for you whereve
Sometimes here will be people wh heart. I believe in you.
be afraid. T is never far from your
family ’s love
“One moment! Just finishing up.” Yazeba slid the papers into the suitcase and
latched it shut, then gathered the last object left in the room—her spellbook.
“Come in.”
Gertrude opened the door, but didn’t enter. She was holding a little package bound
up in craft paper. Yazeba sat on the floor in the middle of the empty room, catching
her breath.
“I was hoping to see you before you came downstairs,” Gertrude said.
Yazeba sighed. “You’re not going to let me just leave quietly, are you? Everyone
just has to make a big fuss out of it.”
Gertrude smirked a little behind her mask and glanced down the stairs. “Sal…you
know how he is. Anyway, I wanted you to have this.” She crossed the threshold of her
study—since it was now just another room, really— and pressed the package into
Yazeba’s hands. “A going away present.”
Yazeba gasped, affronted. “But…oh, no, no, I’m supposed to give gifts to you! I
don’t want anything, and besides, I’m trying to pack light…”
“Stop that,” Gertrude grinned. “You should probably hide it before the whole house #
gets ideas.” 443
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This shut her up. And when Gertrude offered her a hand up off the floor, she took
it, and the two of them went down the steps and out the front door.
“GOODBYE, MISS YAZEBA!”
There was a flash. Confetti flew. Hey Kid and Sal made an awful racket with some
kind of party noisemakers. Everyone had assembled on the lawn, guests clustered
on blankets around the picnic table, which held a beautiful white cake. At the end
of her driveway, Yazeba’s bicycle leaned on the mailbox, trailing balloons from the
rear reflector.
“You didn’t think you were sneaking off that easy, did you?” Sal laughed.
Hey Kid took her by the hand and led her to the least broken lawn chair. “You’re
not going anywhere until EVERYONE has had a chance to say goodbye!”
Yazeba sat down and, for the first time in a very long time, she let a smile run all
the way across her face.
0
THE GOING-AWAY PARTY
gifts, Advice, & Promises
Put three index cards on the table and label them Gifts, Advice, and Promises, then put two
Tokens per player on each card.
Whenever you do a Bingo, you can also give someone a gift, a bit of advice, or a promise,
and if they accept, give them a token from that card. Whenever you do a Whoopsie, you
can also request a gift, a bit of advice, or a promise from someone, and if they oblige, they’ll
give you a token from that card.
A lovely day
Everyone has access to the Bingo, “Have a slice of vanilla cake.”
Everyone has access to the Whoopsie, “Say how beautiful the weather is instead of
saying how you feel.”
parting words
When the Gifts, Advice and Promises cards are all empty, Yazeba will stand and announce
that she is going. Beginning with the player with the most Tokens and ending with the
player with the fewest, everyone may spend their tokens, one token for one sentence, to say
their goodbyes to her.
A few words can be as powerful as many. You don’t have to spend all of your Tokens. If
you have any left when you’ve said what you needed to, give the rest to Yazeba.
#
444
farewell
Yazeba will write down the Big Question on an index card:
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Continue forward
If we don’t want to start over, we can make this book our own instead. To do that, let’s have
a Staff Meeting, and everyone’s invited. The Concierge is the mediator, but everyone should
have their voices heard as well. The player who was just Yazeba can play as Grackle McFran,
who is technically an employee of the Bed & Breakfast and gets to say their opinion as well.
THE STAFF MEETING #
445
In order to continue forward without Yazeba, there’s going to need to be some changes
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around here. Even though Yazeba would never want to admit it, she had a pretty big impact
on the place, and we can’t continue unless we know what to do without her. To that end,
here are the matters that must be discussed:
+ Who is in charge of the Bed & Breakfast now? (One of the residents? Multiple
residents working together? A worker’s co-op? Something else?)
+ What do we do here? (Are we still a Bed & Breakfast? Do we still have the jobs we
used to? Are any residents departing? Are we welcoming any new residents in?)
+ How do we feel about the rules? (Is it still always September 15th? Are we taking
down or changing any of the signs on the front door? Are we rewriting, removing, or
adding to any of the game mechanics?)
+ What do we do about the house? (Are we still near Veilridge? Is it still an old wooden
mansion? Is it still terrestrial?)
+ What should we call the Bed & Breakfast now? (Do we keep Yazeba’s name on the
sign? Do we name it after one of the residents? Do we change its name structure entirely?)
There are still some other matters we should figure out, although it’s okay if we don’t want
to do them right now. Those are:
them to play! We can probably make do with the chapters we have (adjusting the wording
to accommodate for the B&B’s changes) but eventually we might want some new chapters.
Here is the process for making a new chapter:
+ Figure out what season is happening outside. (Is it Spring? Summer? Autumn?
Winter? Wet season? Dry season? Mud season? Bug season? etc.)
+ Figure out what mood the chapter is, based on the season. This might be one of
the four moods inside this book, or maybe you’ve found another mood elsewhere.
+ Figure out who will be the main characters of the chapter. Note if there’s any
guest stars, anyone banned from attending, or any other little surprises.
+ Write a bit of prose, describing the start of the chapter leading into play. Use this
to set the stakes, tone, and conflict of the chapter.
+ Using the mechanics of the chapter’s mood, construct rules for what happens
in the chapter. If you’re not sure what rules to use, steal from everything: other
chapters, other games, other genres, other worlds. Steal freely and build your
chapter from what you take. ( Just don’t forget to give credit!)
+ Make sure the chapter has some way to end.
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Hi There
A New Arrival
While it’s hard to say whether there’s any one particular day that’s best for
running away from home, if forced to choose, the 15th of September would be
as good a day as any.
On the other hand, to the freezing kid stumbling through the snow for
goodness-knows-how-long, this felt like an even more miserable September
than most. A freak snowstorm was unlucky. On that kid’s birthday? Doubly so.
In the icy white field, thinking icy white thoughts, the kid didn’t even notice
crossing a half-buried stone wall, or stepping on a wooden gate knocked down
by the wind.
The kid did notice the house, though, and might have hesitated a moment if
not for a howling gale that cut right to the bone. A little bell chimed as the kid
stumbled inside, stomping off the snow on a small welcome mat and ignoring
all the signs on the front door except for the faded words: BED & BREAKFAST.
A woman sat behind the desk, reading a yellow-paged book with an
overwrought sword on the cover. Her name was Gertrude, although the kid at
the door could be forgiven for not knowing that just yet. She looked up, and
closed the book. “Hi there. What’s your name?”
The kid answered, and by the end of the sentence, it became true.
#
449
The
Mystery
Appendices
Appendix A:
#
450
Spare Journeys
the mYsteRY aPpendiceS a
Sometimes it feels like your entire life has led you to a single, culminating moment — one
that finally answers the hard questions about who you are and where you belong, when you
realize all of your hard work and dreaming has paid off, and you can finally be satisfied. The
book ends, and your story has concluded.
So imagine your surprise when, the next morning, you wake up again! And even as you
enjoy the glow of your new life, you realize that, in order to live it, you’ll have to start a new
story on a fresh page. In times like these, you may feel directionless, and that’s okay — just
pick one of these Spare Journeys to replace any that you’ve completed.
The ultimate end goal of alchemy is to use fastidious, exacting ritual and a profound understanding of the
spiritual complexities of chemistry to create a divine reagent that purifies base metals to gold and grants
god-like powers. How hard could it be? While you’re on this Journey, you have a new Bingo: “Test out a
new potion I’ve been working on.” When someone uses your potion, choose and check off one result from
below:
ALCHEMIST
O It turns the subject partially invisible for a while. O It makes the subject ravenously hungry and
O It gives the subject the hiccups for a while. thirsty for a while.
O It renders the subject invulnerable to fire, O It repels grime from anything it touches.
lightning and bug bites for a while. O It explodes.
O It allows the subject to breathe water for a while. O It tastes amazing!
When you’ve experimented with every result, you may not have found the philosopher’s stone, but you’ve
definitely learned a lot about alchemy! Give yourself a new Bingo: “Offer a potion that can help.” Give the
B&B an Alembic and get another Spare Journey.
#
You are an artist, working on a beautiful painting. Take a blank piece of paper and 451
When you start this Journey, pick a sob story. You get the
associated Whoopsie for as long as you’re on this Journey.
If you thought this style would look good but don’t like
how it fits with your head shape, you have the Whoopsie “Fail to conceal my
BAD HAIRCUT
disappointment.” If you got something sticky caught in your hair and had
to amputate, you have the Whoopsie “Fail to avoid a messy situation.” If you
freaked out and cut your own hair and aren’t sure why, you have the Whoopsie “Fail
to articulate what’s wrong.” You can’t spend your Leftovers on this Journey if anyone
commented on your appearance (even to tell you that you look okay!) during the Chapter. But
when the track fills up, your new style has grown in a little and you’ve gotten used to it. Give a
Pair of Scissors to the Bed & Breakfast and get a new Spare Journey.
You were gifted, found, bought or stole a very cool sword, and you’re starting to get pretty
good with it. When you choose this journey, write down what your sword looks like and
how you decorate it: ______________________. While
you’re on this journey, you have an extra Bingo (“Cut something that needed cutting,”)
BLADEMASTER
and an extra Whoopsie (“Cut something that absolutely did not need cutting.”) There
may not be much call for swordplay at the B&B, but carrying it feels very powerful and
dramatic, so any time you say you’ll protect, oppose or honor someone or something, swear
an oath and write it down on your character sheet. When the track fills up, decide whether
you’d rather keep your blade by your side, or in your heart. If you keep it by your side, write “I
always carry my faithful sword,” under your Facts About Me, and give it a name. If you keep
it in your heart, write a new Bingo for yourself that reflects your warrior spirit. Either way, give
the Bed & Breakfast a Legendary Sword and get another Spare Journey.
You’ve found a really weird and interesting book, and you can’t put it down.
Take an index card and write down the name of the book and its genre.
As long as you’re on this Journey, you have the following Bingos and
Whoopsies:
BOOKWORM
The B&B could use a little TLC, and you’ve taken it on yourself to spruce up the place. When you start this
journey, pick a room in the B&B to renovate: __________. Whenever a chapter takes you
there, describe the work in progress and how tidy you think your tools are—or aren’t! Put leftovers in the
checkboxes below to advance the project.
O Bleach some ceiling stains. O O Pull up the carpeting. O O O Refinish the hardwood.
CARPENTER
O Tear down the old wallpaper. O O Smash down part of a wall. O O O Install a new window.
O Plaster over the drywall. O O Reroute the electrical wiring. O O O Apply a new coat of paint.
When you get bored of your project, you can abandon it, and get another Spare Journey. If you’ve completed
0-2 rows of tasks, you get a new Whoopsie: (“Bite off more than I can chew”). If you’ve completed 3-5 rows,
give the B&B a Hammer. If you’ve completed 6-8 rows, give the B&B a New Toolbox. If you complete all
9 rows of tasks, give the Bed & Breakfast a New Toolbox, a Hammer, and get the Bingo “Buckle down
and do something no one else was up for.”
There’s a mystery afoot, one that you’re determined to get to the bottom of. Every time
you fill up one of these Clue Tracks, check off one of the boxes below.
O You’ve found a clue that hints at the true nature of the conspiracy: ______
O You’ve found where the conspiracy meets: _______________
DETECTIVE
You’ve got a little garden (circle one: out back / by the porch / in your windowsill / deep in the
GREEN THUMB
woods). Draw a picture of what the plants look like. As long as you’re on this Journey, you
always have the Whoopsie “Drop whatever I’m doing to go check up on my plants.”
You can only spend your Leftovers on this Journey if you checked on
your plants at least once during the Chapter. When the track
fills up, the Bed & Breakfast gets a Potted Plant, and you get
another Spare Journey.
You are building a glorious machine, the sort no one’s ever seen before. Take a scrap piece
of paper and draw a 4 part rectangular Track on it representing the core of the machine.
O Whenever a Track fills up, create a new circular three-part Track to represent an
engine, radio, sprocket, or other part of the machine that needs consistent upkeep.
O Whenever a circular Track fills up, clear the Track and create two Checkboxes to
INVENTOR
the vibe of the Chapter and of the Bed & Breakfast, starting on the A Side.
U A Side: As long as you’re on the A Side, ! B Side: As long as you’re on the B Side,
you have the Whoopsie: “Zone out and you have the Bingo: “Inspire someone with
JAMMIN’ OUT
You’ve accumulated a lot of stuff, none of which is exactly garbage, even if you’re not sure
yet what exactly it’s going to be useful for. And now that you have the big pile, you’re
tempted to collect more. Whenever a chapter presents you with some junk, you may hold
onto it for later and add it to the list.
JUNK COLLECTOR
You can only choose this Journey alongside someone else. You both become fated rivals
of each other. Write your nemesis’s name here: _____________. As
long as you’re on this Journey, you have the Whoopsie “Focus on defeating my nemesis
NEMESIS
above all else,” and the Bingo “Flaunt my superiority in an activity of my choice.”
Whoever fills this track up first wins, and soundly defeats the other. Whoever won gets
the Whoopsie “Gloat about my accomplishments,” and whoever lost gets the Bingo,
“Show off my talent through competition.” Both of you get new Spare Journeys.
#
455
the same Bingos and Whoopsies as you. As long as you’re on this Journey, you have the
Bingo “Roll around and have fun,” and the Whoopsie “Get defensive of my companion.”
Once you complete this Journey, you find a new home for your pet. Give them to any
Guest (or the Bed & Breakfast itself) and bid them farewell. They’ll still be really happy
to see you, when they do! The Bed & Breakfast gets a Chewed-Up Toy, and you can get
another Spare Journey.
You’ve made a friend with someone far away from here, and you’ve been exchanging
letters! Take a blank piece of paper and make a small sheet for them—name, pronouns, 3
fun facts, and a quirk about their writing. Once you feel like your letter is all done, send
PENPAL
it to anyone else. They can write a reply if they want, or you can start on a new letter.
Once you feel like you’ve written enough, your penpal comes to visit! Give them four
Bingos and four Whoopsies, and pick out a Spare Journey for them. Once they complete
their Journey, they’ll head home.
The allure of fire magic is hard to resist, and it’s an easy thing to want to muck around
with. You just gotta be careful, lest you get burned. As long as you’re on this Journey, you
PYROMANCER
O You feel good about yourself and want to take a selfie. O Some truly bonkers shenanigans are happening (or
O One of your friends is being outrageously silly. about to happen).
O You notice a very small moment of beauty. O The sky is doing something really beautiful.
O You’re all doing something technically illegal. O Your friends are being weirdos at night.
O You and your friends are all having fun hanging out. O Some other moment that makes you happy.
Once you’ve checked off every box, you run out of film. You can get more film and take more photos, but for now —
give the Bed & Breakfast a Polaroid, and get another Spare Journey.
You’ve been working way too hard lately, and you need to rest. When you embark
on this Journey, write a short description of your pajamas and favorite pillow:
(_________________________)
SLEEPYHEAD
As long as you’re on this Journey, you have the following Bingos and Whoopsies:
! Remind everyone to take a quick break. ! Exert and exhaust myself.
! Pull out pillows, blankets, or stuffed animals. ! Lie about the rest I need.
! Cuddle up next to someone and fall asleep. ! Stay up way past my bedtime.
You can finish this Journey and get another Spare Journey whenever you want, but remember—
there’s a reason you’re taking a breather. When you do, choose one of the Bingos or Whoopsies
and add it to your character sheet.
You’re working on a (Choose 1: novel / poem / play / comic book / dissertation). Take an index
card and write down its working title and brief plot summary. On the other side, keep track
of how the project goes, and at the end of each Chapter choose 1:
O A part ended up exactly how you expected
O A part ended up better than you expected
WRITER
s artifact I found.
wers of a mysteriou
( Unl eash the chaotic po
#
the mYsteRY aPpendiceS a
all the nameless, shapeless things that missed their chance to pick a name and take a form in the world of 458
the now. They’re lonely down there, without a shape to call their own, without a name to keep them warm
No one will answer. One of us is the Seeker, a resident looking
But something is there. SEARCHING for Ichor in the walls. They’ll ask for cards to
of the deck.
If the total value of the cards in the Seeker’s hand is 21 exactly (with aces counting
The Seeker may choose at any point go back to bed. If they do, shuffle all
but one card from their hand back into the deck. Slip a card of your choice
Once all the aces are inside your copy of Yazeba’s Bed
& Breakfast, Ichor may make a choice—join the Bed &
represent their search.
in the cold and endless sea.
If there’s not enough cards left in the deck to make 21, then the
have a conversation with it before it scampers into the darkness. Slip all the cards
looks for Ichor, they will ask for cards, one at a time, from the top
it—after all, you’re not a guest yet.
The other one of us is Ichor, who is hiding in the walls. Ichor is the
night, they can hear a faint skittering in the walls. Sometimes, they’ll call
out to see who’s there.
the wallpaper until it finds a little nest, in the darkness and the deep.
But names are tricky things. And an idle name spoken by a tired witch in
CHAPTER O:
a moment of weakness can slither away from her, trickling down through the floorboards and behind
soul, no more and no less
mind do wil ingly gift my heart to Monday Green Eyes of the Errant Court
, - ,
This contract is binding in perpetuity to be terminated only by further agreement between both parties
, .
x . Monday x .
462
463
464
465
466
467
468
#
469
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the mYsteRY aPpendiceS a
474
475
Yazeba?
town city hall closed on Sunday as
winds exceeding 50MPH rocked
zeba the Great and Powerful (last
Doing nobody no good #
477
name unknown), but when asked
vehicles, overturned garbage cans
why an otherwise reputable mem-
and brought down signage. The e
ber of the community would visit You ever wonder why som
s of
Always yours
these keys, all kind
When Yazeba turns A.A.
good stuff hap pen :
d at asserting her
• Yazeba is really goo
boundaries. magic
her problems without
• Yazeba can solve
I have lite wis e like tha t!
ra
jus t
likes Yaze lly no clue why an
because she’s
gs nobody else can.
• Yazeba can see thin
things, and when she
ba. People yone • Yazeba likes to nam e
things abo
ut her, bu always say nice
a new name, she gives it
gives something
bre athes power into
t sh e and
to be mak new perspectiv
ing these e always seems it!
but sometimes Yazeba
Whoopsies! • It’s really rare,
she is, and help someone
will show how kind
−She’s boss
y
good leade , but, like, not actua
heal.
•
r. lly a •
−She’s cry
ptic and se •
things that cretive abo
a ut
−She seem ffect everybody.
s
pushing eve to just delight in My esteemed hostess, my erstwhile employer, and my
ry
−She refu one away! dear friend,
ses to ask
from anyo for any he
ne lp
−She alwa .
Your journey is "Naming The
y
do anythin s says magic can
Problem."
g, but her
make thin sp
gs wor se! ells only
You ruminate too much. It's like
− whenever your clock fills up, you
− add another of your "Whoopsies" to
what Gertrude wrote. Maybe when you run
− out of room you'll replace this Journey with
"Getting Better."
#
478
the mYsteRY aPpendiceS a
Appendix F:
< Ptísilithion
(excerpt)
I suppose this is supposed to be some sort of ancient instruction manual for the Ptisilith. But I can’t really make heads
or tails of it. And we really oughtn’t bother Yazeba about it, so we’ll just have to muddle through with some guesswork.
What do you suppose the Ptísilith’s glyph most resembles?
+ A Bird: Ah, the symbol of freedom and movement! Sal absorbs the Ptísilith’s
aetheric energies. Give him the Bingo and the Whoopsie, “Set something free.”
+ Two Birds: With the destruction of the Ptísilith, a prophecy has been completed.
Unlock Grackle McFran and The Jeckerynne, if they’re not already Unlocked, and
swap their Journeys. The Jeckerynne is now bound to the Bed & Breakfast as a
groundskeeper.
+ A Bow and Arrow: The seasons reverse, and the hunter becomes the hunted.
Unlock The Stag of the Great Hunt if he’s Locked, rename him “The Great Wolf
of Winter,” and change his Bingos and Whoopsies to be just about the opposite of
what they were. Swap his pronouns.
+ A Cauldron: The Ptísilith leaves behind an ancient device, but it seems to be
broken. The Bed & Breakfast gets a Broken Vase and some Mystical Energy.
+ The Coldest Bell: The bell rings its harsh and hollow tone, and the Starving
King’s shadows darken the doorstep of the Bed & Breakfast. The truce has ceased.
Unlock Chapter XVI: The Wicker War, if you can find it.
+ A Crossroads: Whoever was nearest the Ptísilith when it exploded is filled with
a deep sense of both confusion and destiny. They get two new Spare Journeys. Find
somewhere to stick them on their character sheet without covering up their old
Journey. (You may have to cover up some other things!)
+ A Frog: Parish absorbs the Ptísilith’s arcane energies, and the curse he bears
becomes infectious. Give him the Whoopsie and the Bingo, “Turn someone else
into a frog, temporarily, with a touch.”
+ A Gate: Yazeba is concerned by the Ptísilith’s destruction and departs on witchy #
business. Draw a new Shelf slot onto the Wooden Gate In The Old Stone Wall— 479
Appendix G:
Dedic@ions
INSPIRATION
Special thanks to Edda Mendes, who helped create the groundwork that would become
this game.
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast draws mechanical inspiration from countless other games, but its
mechanics owe a special debt to Chuubo’s Marvelous Wish Granting Engine by Jenna Moran,
Dream Askew/Dream Apart by Avery Alder and Benjamin Rosenbaum, Natalie Libre’s Indie
Kids’ Menu by Hy Libre, Lady Blackbird by John Harper, Ten Candles by Stephen Dewey,
Dread by Epidiah Ravachol, and many more besides. A significant amount of its philoso-
phy is informed by The Wayfinder Experience, The Well-Played Game by Bernard De Koven
(and by extension, the New Games Movement), The Poetics of Space by Gaston Bachelard,
and the playgrounds of Isamu Noguchi.
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast was creatively inspired by all the half-remembered children’s
books of our youth, but most importantly The Moomins by Tove Jannson, Wind In The
Willows by Kenneth Grahame, The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stuart, The
Secret Of Platform 13 by Eva Ibbotson, the Fairyland series by Cat Valente, and The House
In The Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune. It was also inspired by Howl’s Moving Castle, Calvin &
Hobbes, Angelina Ballerina, The Owl House, and Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends. We
hope to honor every out-of-print softcover found at a yardsale, every misplaced episode of
a TV show watched after bedtime, and every obscure fanfiction building community where
there was none before.
Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast owes a great debt to the Hudson Valley, with its little houses
scattered among the vast and ancient Catskill Mountains. Our valley’s apple trees, pumpkin
patches, waterfronts, winter gales, summer camps, and homes all made their way into this
book, and while there are many places the Bed & Breakfast can be, for us it will always live
in the mountains between New Paltz and Shokan, where the sun is warm and the nights
are cool.
THE TEAM #
481
Mercedes Acosta is a Caribbean Indigenous Tai'no artist, writer, herbalist, and storyteller.
Jay Dragon is a queer game designer and publisher in Philadelphia. Jay is the editorial
director of Possum Creek Games and author of Wanderhome, Sleepaway, and some parts
of Yazeba's Bed & Breakfast. Jay loves sunset forest adventures, midnight ghost summon-
ing, and taking naps.
For Malden House, for the quarry and the rooftops, for every
family I’ve found and every home I’ve tried to build. Thank you to
those who work even now to create a home in your hearts.
Lillie J. Harris is a cartoonist, illustrator and writer from Southern Maryland. Their graphic
novel Wilderness is currently being sold through Radiator Comics. Tension and empathy
are key themes in Lillie’s work. They also enjoy teaching, linguistics, and "not punching
down."
For my parents, for their unconditional love and support, my
friends, for enriching my life, the countless RP partners who’ve
helped to hone my writing over the years, and to everyone
eager to create with the same freedom we had as kids.
Ruby Lavin is the art director at Possum Creek Games and the artistic mind behind every-
thing Possum Creek Games does. She likes texture, critical theory, fantasy, and weird plants.
For Mount Tremper, Tobias, Overlook, and also all the dirtbags in this one.
Aster Santiago is a queer illustrator, animator and concept artist from Mexico City. He
has worked in a variety of projects ranging from animation, games, publishing and kidlit.
His passion lies in storytelling and worldbuilding and he likes to focus on creating stories
and experiences that make this world a little brighter and bring us a little closer together
as humans.
For the home that made me and for the one that holds
me, everyday. For the little monster in all of us.
M Veselak is one of the cocreators of Yazeba's Bed & Breakfast and the author of the
Wickedness RPG. When she's not writing, she enjoys horror films and luring unwary trav-
elers into her pond to drown.
For the girl who wears a mask.
#
482
Appendix H:
the mYsteRY aPpendiceS a
Chapters I Mood
relaxed pensive
+ A Trip To The Waterfront + A Mug Of Winter Cheer
+ Amelie’s Big Day Off + After Dinner
+ Another Birthday for Gertrude + The Big Screen
+ Another Rainy Day + Bonfire
+ The Breakfast Feast + The Debutante Ball
+ Day At The Beach + Firefly Catching
+ Gone Fishin’ + Goodbye Yazeba
+ Let’s Start A Band + Ice Skating
+ Our Little Island + The Night Market
+ The Remodeled Library + Shovels At Dawn
+ Rock On! + Snow Day
+ Sal Has Written A Play + Stargazing
frantic eerie
+ A Birthday For Gertrude + The Crash
+ Back To School + All Hallow’s Eve
+ Earthsick + Hey Kid Goes A-Guising
+ Moon Prince Gets A Job + Home
+ One-Of-A-Kind Meta-Clone-O-Matic + The Longest Night Of The Year
+ The Pancake War + Lights Out
+ The Perfect Pumpkin + Lost In The Cornmaze
+ Snickerberry Season + The Midnight Mushroom Hunt
+ Spring Cleaning + The Rusalka’s Mirror
+ Wash Cycle + To Catch A Tomtom
+ Who Knows How A Garden Grows + The Witch’s Missing Shadow
+ Yazeba Casts A Spell + The Witch’s Old Hostel
MKe From
Possum Creek
Possum Creek Games is a small independent tabletop publishing company located
somewhere between Veilridge and Philadelphia. Since 2020, we've been making games
about community, liminality, and the magic of the mundane.
Wanderhome is a pastoral fantasy game about traveling animal-folk journeying through a
beautiful world. As the Hæth changes with the seasons, so does your group, growing over
time as they seek their home. By Jay Dragon.
Wickedness is a witchy game for three players and a deck of tarot cards, which tell the story
of a coven of spellcasters struggling to keep the balance between the worlds — and each
other. By M Veselak.
Our Haunt is a creepy-cozy game about a found family of ghosts in a haunted house,
learning to love each other despite the chaos of the spectral world. By Rae Nedjadi.
Learn more about us at www.possumcreekgames.com or get exclusive first looks at what's
coming next from the Creekside Community Center at patreon.com/possumcreek.
Retailers
Special love & thanks to Indie Press Revolution, Heart of the Deernicorn, Knave of Cups,
Noble Knight Games, Adventure Dice, Source Comics & Games, IGAR Games, ratti
incantati, Splendiforous Games, Sphärenmeisters Spiele, Vault of Midnight, Noble Knight
Games, Games and Stuff, Half Moon Books, Board Game Barrister, Cardboard Castle
Games, Games of Berkeley, Good Games Indianapolis, FARBO co, Kismet Bookshop,
Hobbyisterna AB, Pe Metawe Games, Do The Things Productions Inc., Jupiter Games,
Exalted Funeral Press, and all the other local stores that made Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast
possible.