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PREFACE

A past remembered a past that will

always live in me a past I see each
and every week of my life. A past that
will always live on to the future. I look
at the news paper Infront of me and I
smile. I run my fingers on the picture
and a small smile crept up on my
face.
“Mrs Ndlovu your husband is here to
see you” I look up to the nurse and I
put the news paper away.
“You have a handsome son there”
she says and I smile.
“He has grown” I say
My heart started warming up and
loving more than I thought. I have
yearned so much of many things yet
fear is holding me back.
“Should I open the tv for you so you
can watch when you come back ?”
she asks
“Yes”
We walk out of my room and she is
escourting me as we are chatting.
We get to the garden and I see him
standing in a distance. He has his
back facing me I know that he is
having his cigarette to calm his
nerves. He always said smoking
calms him down especially when he
is around me. The nurse walks off
and I walk towards him. I stand
behind him for a little while and he
turns to look at me.He throws his
cigarette away ruining this beautiful
garden but he doesn't care. He is a
Ndlovu after all.I wrapped my arms
around him and he does the same
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he heaves yet another heavy sigh
that always follows.
“It has been 30 years Khethiwe” he
says
“I know ” I say
He breaks the hug.
“I have missed his whole life. It's best
I stay here ” I say he places his
hands in his pockets. He is aging so
very fine.
“I love you Dali wami” I smile and shy
off.
“Wangishalazela ( Why are you being
shy?)”
“I love you too” I kiss his lips. I break
the kiss
I know he is a man of needs. I know
that emotionally I wasn't there for
him. He did well by grooming the kids
on his own.
“Come let's sit down ” I pull him by
his hand and we sit down.
“How is everything?” I ask.
“I miss you everyday” he says softly.
“I miss you too Gatsheni. ”
“Come back home. I know 30 years
have been missed but I need my wife
back”
I look down.
“I fear ” I say.
“Fear what Khethiwe?”
“Rejection. I have been absent in
their lives for too long”
“They are grown. They will warm up
to the idea ”
I shake my head slowly.
“I can't” he sighs defeated.
“I don't want to have a meltdown ” I
smile.
“How is the taxi industry going ?" I
ask him. I pray every night that they
are safe.
“Good. We have got alot of routes
over the years in Kzn and Now
Ntozakhona has trucks that Transport
fuel he got married as well ”
“That's nice” I smile he pulls me to his
chest.
He lets out a sigh. The smell of
Nicotine on him smells wonderful with
his perfume all together. It's not
irritating. He kisses my forehead as I
listen to his heart beat. He chuckled
softly.

“You remember when....

Chapter 1
PART 1
CHAPTER 1
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My aunt waves everywhere as the
donkey is carrying her people are
ululating while it was a very big thing.
It's a Zulu wedding of my aunt and
she looked wonderful in Isdwaba I
was there too looking good in my
Zulu attire. Nothing on top and so as
my aunt. My boobs were upright and
perky. We were walking to the Khoza
house hold where my aunt will be a
bride to. We were singing our lungs
out while at that.
The whole village was around here
for this very wonderful festive. My
cousins either side of me and so as
the other virgin maidens next to us
escourting my aunt to her new family.
She was really beautiful and I one
day dreamed of having such a
wonderful wedding. I was only 16 and
seen that I am old enough to wed if
the time comes.
“Pss” I listened
“Pss” there it is again. Someone
whistled and I turned around. My
cousin stopped as well.
“Khethiwe kwenzenjani ? ( What is
wrong ? )"
“Someome is calling me " I say
“Come let's go ” she pulled me by my
hand and we turned.
Someone whistled and I turned. My
cousin already left me and so as the
people who I was walking with. I
could hear the singing from far.
“Nkosazane ” I jumped a bit and he
was standing in front of me holding a
stick. He looks like header but young
as well.
“Umuhle Ntokazi( You are beautiful )”
he said and I was mesmerised by
how deep his voice is yet he looks
like he is my age.
“Thank you ” I look at the direction
everyone went. I will be late.
“Isidwaba singakufanela ( isdwaba
will suite you)" I ran my fingers on my
beaded traditional skirt. It was pure
white .
“Really ?" I smiled and he did too
while nodding.
“So much ”
I saw myself waving like my aunt as
everyone looks at me while I get
married.
“Qaphile !” He turned and one who
looked like him but older was
standing there.
“Ngizoziletha inkomo ukuze ufake
isdwaba ( I will bring Lobolo so you
can wear isdwaba )” I blushed.
“Ok” I say
“Ndlovu” he said
“Cele " he nods and walks off to
where his friend is. I watched them
disappear before I rushed to where
the singing is.
I did turn back to see where the guy
disappeared to and he was gone. I
ran down to where the singing was
and they have arrived at the Khoza
household. I pushed through the
crowd and stood next to my mother
we were waiting to be let in.
“Where are you coming from?”she
asked me.
“I was looking for my earring” she
focuses on what is Infront of her.
We were let inside the Khoza house
hold and the festivity was wonderful I
wanted this as well when growing up
and yearned for it's beauty that is
displayed here.
_______
“Thina maCele asibazumi abantu !...”
We were singing while preparing for
our sleep I am going to miss my aunt.
She is my father's only Sister. We
had to collect water tomorrow
morning as well and I am too tired . I
lay myself on the floor and my cousin
joined me Nombukelo that is.
“Everything was so beautiful" she
says.
“Very beautiful. Cabanga sengishada
kuyoba njani ( imagine when I get
married how it will be )” I say looking
up already seeing everything.
That herder I saw yesterday suddenly
flashed in my mind and so as his
words leaving my lips curved into a
smile.
“What are you thinking off ? ”
Nombukelo asks.
“Nothing” I sit up and look at her then
somewhere else.
Marriage is something important for a
woman. She is to take care and love
and be submissive to her husband. I
haven't had a man court me enough
to actually want to marry me. That
herder I have never seen him before.
I have lived here for so long but I
have never encountered anything
with him.
“Khethiwe! ” my mother shouts.
I jumped off the bed.
“Mah ! ” I shout back rushing out of
my hut and find her making he fire.
“Go and feed the chickens then fetch
some water ” she instructs me.
“Yes Mah ”
I go and feed the chickens while
singing the songs from my aunt's
wedding. I am sure she is happy and
felt very important yesterday. I would
too as well feel important. Her
husband is rich in live stock and
that's what my father wants for me
when I get married. Is for me to also
marry into a rich family like the
Khoza's. They are very known that is
why everyone was there at their
wedding.
“Khethiwe go and fetch water ! ” my
mother's shouting snaps me out of
my thoughts.
“Ok” I place the chicken food down
and I rush to take the bucket.
Nombukelo is a bit lazy.
She is not a bit lazy but she is lazy
and my mother let's her do anything.
Whether she helps or not it is all well.
I make my way to the river while
singing some songs.
“Pss” there it is again.
I stop my tracks and listen
attentively.
“Pss” I turn around looking
everywhere and I see a figure by the
tree.
I am scared but he comes out in the
open holding the stick in his hand.i
place my hand on my chest.
“MaCele” his deep raspy voice says.
I smile.
“Boyabenyathi” he places a hand on
his chest.
“Aw' kodwa mama wangibiza kahle (
Oh you call me so well)” I blush.
“I have to go ” I say slowly creating a
distance between us.
“Zizohlangana inkomo mama
ngizokunika umshado omukhulu
ngiyathembisa (Everything will come
together so I can give you a big
wedding. I promise)” I blush.
“You promise?” he nods.
“I promise” I smile.
“Bye”I rush off to where the river is
while smiling.
I couldn't help myself. He said he will
give me a wedding of my dreams. Is
he rich ? Where is his household ? I
need to know that but with the way
he said it he is determined to give me
what he had promised and will. I got
the water and go back home I am
singing as I am making my journey
back home reminiscing of all good
times I had in my life and to pass
some time as I am walking back
home.
I got home and my mother was on
her knees blowing under the pot as
she is making fire. She sees me
approaching and gets on her feet and
took thee bucket from my head.
“Yini leh ekubambezelile ( Why did
you take your time ?)” she asked
“Ukuthwala ” I lied.
I couldn't tell my mother that I was
standing with a boy. I had just
recieved my period 2 years ago but in
her eyes I am still a child and won't
be fit for marriage anytime soon.
“Go and take the chicken inside. Your
father came back with it from your
aunt's house” I nod and make my
way inside the kitchen
There were plastics on the table and I
opened them. The food inside was
alot. My aunt is very lucky to marry in
such a wealthy family in the village.
My father also wishes that for me as
well. It must be nice as you could
have anything in the village easily. I
took the full chicken that has been
slaughtered and went out to give it to
my mother. I am sure Nombukelo is
asleep where she is. She is always
tired and always complains about
being hungry.
________
“Mmh this taste nice MaMtshali” my
father compliments the boiled
chicken as he picks his fingers.
My mother smiles and looks down
shying away from his face.
“Ngiyabonga Baba( Thank you)” I
helped as well.
My mother wouldn't include me in this
compliment moment. Nombukelo and
I are eating in silence. My father
takes the steam bread and moulds
it's in his hand and pops it in his
mouth.
“I'm tired”
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Nombukelo says first.
We all look at her. I am as well and
would love to rest but my father is a
bit strict but since Nombukelo is here
he is a bit nicer.
“You can go and sleep girls” I am
relieved. We both stand up as I
collect the dishes that I will wash in
the morning.
I put them in a bowel and I make my
way to the room we are sleeping in.
“I am glad I am leaving tomorrow”
Nombukelo says while throwing
herself on the bed.
“I will miss you ” I honestly say.
I sit on the bed as she changes and I
take off my clothes as well.
“Kelo” she stops and looks at me.
I want to ask if she knows any Ndlovu
household around but I stop myself.
What if she tells my father that I have
been asking about this and I get in
trouble.
“Mmh ?” she replies.
“Nothing” I fake a smile and she turns
her back on me.
I get lost in thoughts as I think of this
Ndlovu boy who has a deep voice of
an adult. That herder who has been
nice to me and made promises. I
touch my stomach as I feel
something I have never felt.
Excitement that is
“Stop smiling and sleep” Nombukelo
says and gets in the bed.
I throw myself inside and I rest while
looking the other side as I look at the
wall and close my eyes waiting for
sleep to consume me.

QAPHILE

I look into the dark sky everynight. It

has became my peace and relaxes
me after a long day of herding the
Khoza Cows it helps in the family and
my father is into planting as well.
There are alot of us in this house
hold. 16 of us . 13 of us and some
are even as young as 1 year old. It's
hard at times as there are alot of
mouths to feed the little ones are our
priority the most and that's why we
seek jobs where we can find them.
“You have been standing here for
some time” Gatsa approaches me.
We are a year apart from him and
myself. I am 19 years old of age and
considered a man in my father's
eyes.
“I am just looking” he nods as we
look into the darkness.
He heaves a heavy sigh.
“Its going to be a lot more difficult
now that Mbewuyesizwe is born” I
know.
I turn to him with hands in my pants.
“That's our nephew. We should
provide for him as well” I say.
Khulisiwe dropped him last week in
my mother's hands and fled away. I
have never seen my father livid for
Phuthuma having a son we didn't
know off. Phuthuma works at
people's fields and Khulisiwe is one
of those girls who come from a very
well off family around Msinga. Her
father has many cows. Since
Phuthuma couldn't pay for
impregnating her the child was
dumped on us. She said she can't
take care of her child. He will hold her
back in life and we shouldn't ever
contact her about the child or even
mention who his mother is in future.
My mother named him
Mbewuyesizwe“For he shall plant
greatness in this world” she said.
“I know. I just wish we were in a
better space Qaphile”the frustration
can't be hidden from his voice.
“Lets go and rest. We have to wake
up early” I say softly.
He turns and walks away. I stay
rooted where I am and I look at the
direction he had left. I could see the
light from inside the hut the light that
lights up our only home and space. I
look down as the baby cries pierce
through my ears not knowing if it's
Sizwe or Nokuthula.

KHETHIWE

I woke up early today and I was onto

my duties that needed to be done.
Nombukelo also woke up very early
for her departure. We were standing
by the stop waiting for any taxi to
come and collect her. A part of me is
very glad that she is leaving and she
is going to her home. I would have
my own peace at last but a part of me
will miss her than I would think that I
know. Being the only child comes
with it's disadvantages at times
especially when you are a girl.
“Peep peep!”
The taxi comes our way and she
raises her finger in order to stop it
and it does. She opens the taxi door
and I hold onto her plastic bag.
“I will miss you” I know those are lies
.
I know she wouldn't be happier than
leaving the village at the moment.
“I will miss you too. Visit soon” I hope
not
“I will” she hops inside the taxi and I
hand her her bag.
She takes it and I wave while
standing still. I move away from the
taxi and make my way home while
singing. I cut through the bush so I
could take a longer way home as I
don't want to get there as fast.
“Baba Mnumzane uyehe sivulele
singene...”
I clap my hands.
“Pss” I stop my tracks and look
around.
“Pss pss” I turn around and meet
him
I smile automatically and rush Infront
of him. His gaze move from my eyes
and he looks down while placing his
hands in his pants. I notice a big hole
there.
“Gatsheni” he looks up to me.
“MaCele” he says in his matured
voice.
“Where is your home ?” that's what I
have been wanting to know.
He is silent for a moment and looks
away for a while then back at me.
“Zithunwa is waiting for me I have to
go ” he turns around.
“Ima!” he stops.
“Ngabe ngikuphathe kabi?( Did I say
something bad?)”I ask concerned.
He doesn't turn to face me. His pants
are blown by the wind and the hole is
not hiding but on full display.
“Cha MaCele... Awungiphathanga
kabi( You didn't say anything bad)”he
says and I nod.
“Bengicabanga Ngawe( I was
thinking about you )” I smile.
I honestly don't want to go home. I
still want to hear his matured voice
saying something. When he calls me
MaCele it sounds very nice. He
doesn't turn still nor speaks.
“Khethiwe” I say my name.
He chuckles softly.
“Abakwa Gatsheni bakuKhethile
Ukube ...( the Gatsheni Ancestors
chose you to be ...)” he stops.
“To be what ?”
He turns around and looks at me. He
is handsome and very dark skinned
in complexion. I am a bit lighter than
he is.
“Qaphile” We are getting
somewhere.
“Khethiwe ! Khethiwe!” I hear my
name being called
“I have to go. I will see you ” I turn
and run away from him before he
could say anything.
Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2
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School has opened and I didn't want
to go back because I enjoyed staying
at home I went out more to see or
find Qaphile maybe but I haven't
seen him since well a long time. I
have a friend and her name is
Zijabule. She is part of the Khoza
family and is very nice as well. Since
her uncle and my aunt have gotten
married we are now family I guess.
She doesn't fail to make me know
that. I am more close with her than
anyone here in the village.
“I brought some Beef for you” she
hands me her lunch box and I thank
her.
I start stuffing my face while at it. We
are sitting under a tree inside our
school premises. I love food very
much and I don't shy away from it.
That is maybe why I am have a big
body but I love myself regardless.
“Are you going kwa Langa this year?”
it's the Reed dance.
“I am!” I say.
I always go every year since I started
my periods. My father saw it fit that I
join the other maidens who pride
themselves in keeping themselves
pure until they are chosen to get
married. If you are lucky you can get
married to Induna. Even luckier if the
chief chooses you to be his wife. That
is what Zijabule always say
Everytime we go to Kwa Langa.
We sit there and talk more about
anything and how our holidays have
been before we part ways and go to
our classes.
____
Zijabule was fetched by her brother
and we parted ways bidding each
other good byes. I was walking alone
and I greeted Bab'Ngubane who was
sitting under a tree as I was passing
by.
“Uziphathe kahle mntanami!( Behave
yourself my child)” he shouts after
me.
“Yebo baba ngizokwenza njalo!(I will
do so)" I reply while promising.
As I take more steps away from him.
He fades from my vision and I starts
singing as I make my journey home
just to fill the void of being alone and
the journey back home. I got home
and my mother was outside throwing
water out from her bathing dish. She
stood by the stoop and placed her
hand on her hips waiting for me to
reach her. I greet her and she nods
as I walk inside the house. I place my
bag on the table and she walks in
placing the bathing dish behind the
kitchen door.
“Go and change then fetch water” I
nod.
I walk out and go to my rondaval and
change into a long dress that my
grandmother made for me. I want to
visit her soon. Maybe when school
closes once again I can go and visit
her before Nombukelo's mother tries
to throw her child this side so she can
bother us. I take the bucket and rush
out before it gets any late. I get to the
river and I collect some water and
pull the bucket out of the river when I
am done.
“Nkosazane” I turn around pulling the
bucket out of the river.
I dust my hands wiping sweat from
my forehead as I am feeling hit yet
my feet are experiencing some
coolness from the flowing river.
“Sawubona(Hello)” I greet.
He smiles and looks at me. There are
cows scattered by the river having a
drink. He is carrying a stick again. He
is a herder then. That I have
concluded.
“How are you?”his deep voice echos
through my ears.
My father doesn't have a voice that is
as deep as this person Infront of me.
Even my uncle's nor my grandfather
and Everytime I hear him speak I still
get a bit shocked. He is still in the
same pants that he wore the last time
I saw him and a vest.
“I am well.” I reply.
“I haven't seen you in a while” he
says yet he is the one who
disappeared on me.
“You don't want to tell me where you
live” I say.
He looks away again
“Uyosala kahle Ntokazi(Stay well)” he
turns around.
“Wait Qaphile!” he doesn't stop but
carries on walking.
I don't know what I did wrong in this
matter. I take my bucket and out it
over my head before I make my
journey back home.

QAPHILE
I moved away from the river but I saw
her leaving as well. I went back to get
the cows and went kwaMdluli to put
them back in the kraal. I close the
small gate and look at them placing
hands in my pocket. I feel a tap on
my shoulder and I look at Bab'Mdluli
as he stands next to me.
“Baba”I bow my head.
“They are beautiful isn't it?” I nod my
head.
“I worked hard for them not every
family is meant to have cows like
these” he smiles with pride.
“We will have them too” I say
I move away from the kraal make my
journey home. One day amagceke
akwaNdlovu will have its own
Livestock. One day my father would
be a respected man and one day our
situation wouldn't be in this manner
but even better than any house hold
here in Msinga. I kick the stones and
pass by kaButhelezi field where
Nqobimpi and Zabanyathi are
working on the fields. They change
days with Busani and Fezihle. I stand
by the fence and watch as they work
hard in the Field ploughing. Zaba
stands a bit catching a break while
wiping his sweat and looks over to
me and leave his plough.
“You should get back to work before
Buthelezi starts with you” I say
“He can do all he wants. I don't care
!” he spits.
At the age of 16 he sure has a loose
tongue. He knows this is our way to
feed everyone.
“Zabanyathi!” Nqobi calls out for him.
He is look at us in a disapproving
look that he is stopping his work.
“I will see you at home” I say to him.
“Ask Nokwenkosi to sew your pants
for you” I look at them.
“We have to buy material to sew back
and you know we can't afford at the
moment” he nods.
“Bye” he rushes back to his job and
Nqobi resumes with him as well.
I look at them one more time before I
make my journey back home. I find
my sister's preparing the fire and
potatoes are next to Kwenkosi.
Thulisile walks out of the rondaval
with small dish and looks at me.
“You came back early”Kwenkosi gets
up and dusts her hands.
“I got done early. I took out the Khoza
cattle yesterday” I say
“What did Mdluli give you this
time?”Thuli asks.
The little ones are heard and seen as
they are playing around the yard.
“Nothing.” I place myself on the little
hump outside the house and
Kwenkosi sits next to me.
“We should steal one of his cows one
day!"Thulisile spits.
“Thulisile!”It's my mother. She walks
out holding Sizwe and Nokuthula on
her back
It wouldn't be a bad idea as he is
ungrateful for all the work I put in. It's
time I showed him who Qaphile is.
“God doesn't bless those who steal”
My mother looks at me
“I won't” I say softly.
“Good. Take him to Phuthuma. I am
sure he is awake now” she hands
Sizwe to me.
I stand up and make my way to the
second Rondaval. There are only 2
mud made rondavals's. One is
shared by the little ones and our
parents. The other by the older
children of which is us. I get in and
Phuthuma is staring at the roof. He
turns his head to me and sits up. I
hand Sizwe to him and he sighs.
“I am thinking Qaphile” he says. I sit
myself down
“About?” I ask
“Going to the City and working” he
says
“You see the situation here and some
households don't pay” he is right.
“I am coming with then ” I say
“No I would like to go alone first
before I bring any of you down there”
he quicky says.
“How is Khulisile?” I ask.
He sighs.
“Her father chased me away” it is
expected.
He looks at his son.
“Wena ? What is going on with you?
These days you are off . Phela wena
ave uthetha kabi kulama Langa
uthule ( You shout too much but
these days you are quiet)” I look
down and start smirking.
“Intokazi yakwa Cele( A Cele
Maiden)” I say fiddling with my
fingers.
He laughs a bit.
“Ayi iyasebenza le Ntokazi. Uze
uyazithoba ( This girl is working. You
are even soundng humble)” I click my
tongue and he chuckles.
“Tell me about her” he says
“Yinhle..Kakhulu(She is beautiful very
beautiful)” I say thinking about
Khethiwe.
“I would want to marry her one day
but I don't deserve her look how I am.
We are poor Phuthuma” I say
“We are Ndlovu's. We get any
woman we want no matter
what”Dumisani says walking in.
“Washo wayibeka bafo(You took
words out of my mouth)” Phuthuma
says
He stands over us.
“MaCele is yours and no one would
tell you otherwise”I look at him and
nod.
Khethiwe is mine and no one else's. I
will marry her one day as my wish. I
will keep my promise to her.

KHETHIWE

I woke up quiet early and prepared

for my departure before I headed to
school. My father left at the same
time as I did. He works at the chiefs
house and I am not sure as what but
he does work there from what I have
been told. I met Zijabule and we
walked together with her brother. He
later on left and Zijabule told me
about how she is going to Greytown
this weekend with my aunt and
Uncle. I was happy for her and
wished her a great trip ahead.
The day seemed longer than I had
anticipated but I was glad when we
had got out of the school premises.
They accompanied home with her
brother. He is protective of her and
doesn't want any boy near her even
by sniffing her hair. I get home and
bid them goodbye. I quickly change
and grab my grass mat I was gifted
with by my grandmother and my bag
filled with all my beads.
“Ngiyabuya mama!(I am coming back
Mama)” I shout as I run out of the
yard.
I didn't wait for her to even reply to
me but I knew I had to be back on
time home. A girl is not supposed to
stay out late. I rushed to my usual
spot where I do my beads and place
the grass mat on the floor and sit
down. I scatter my things and start
with my work.
“Khethiwe!” I look up and it's Wandile.
He is babu'Mdluli's son.
They are also one of the greatest
families here in the place. His father
has alot of cows but the Khoza's
have cattle the most. Bafuyile kuloya
mndeni. He comes and Sits next to
me on my grass mat.
“Wandile” he looks at me.
“How are you?”
“I am well how are you?”
“I am good. I saw you running here”
he says
“I wanted to start my beads right
away” I say
“Unguzime lah endaweni (You are
the most beautiful girl around here)”I
shy away.
“Ngiyabonga( Thank you)” he takes
one of my beads and he places the
unfinished bracelet on my wrist.
“I want to buy it once it is done” I
nod.
“Ok” We hear someone whistling
I lift my head and see him passing as
he whistles while the cows are
walking Infront of him. He looks
sweaty and like the sun hasn't been
having any mercy on his already dark
skin. The same pants are on and still
have the same problem as I had
seen them yesterday.
“Khethiwe...” I look at Wandile.
He looks at where I am looking and
we look at him whistling while
steering the cows. Wandile starts
laughing and I look at him.
“Why are you laughing?” I frown
looking at him.
“His butt cheeks are there Khethiwe”
he keeps on laughing.
I look at him and pack my beads and
stand up.
“I need to leave” he stops and looks
at me.
“We are still seated nje Khethiwe”he
says.
“Get off my mat Wandile before I tell
my father!” he stands up confused.
I grab my grass mat and roll it leaving
him there. I don't know why but I am
angry at him. How could he do what
he did! He had just disgusted me
very much. I ran in the direction that
he went in and he was smacking
some cows on their behind with his
stick while kicking some stones. I
catch my breath before I walk behind
him. He stops when he hears my
footsteps.
“Hello” I say softly
He is silent for a moment before he
walks a bit further and stops. The
cows keep on going. He turns to
me.
“MaCele" his deep voice echos.
I rush next to him.
“Where are you going?” I ask and we
start walking together.
“Around” he says.
I look down and then at him.
“I can fix that” I say softly referringing
to his pants.
He looks away from me.
“That won't be necessary. Bye” he
walks further than me.
“Qaphile wait!” I run after him.
“I am sorry if I upset you I am just
trying to help” I say
“I don't need your help Khethiwe!" I
jump a bit and he scratches his face.
“I am fine” his voice is more lower
now.
“Please” I say.
He looks away from me and places
his one hand in his pocket before he
walks behind me and carries on. I
turn and look at him. He stops and
looks back at me for a moment then.
____
The water splashes on his back and I
am watching when I shouldn't be. I
promised not to watch and carry on
with what I am doing but here I am
pausing for a while and just watching
this brown creature Infront of me
taking a cooling bath in the river while
the cows are drinking from in there.
He sinks in a bit and after a while
comes back up shaking his head
lightly.
We are by the other side of the river.
Where people don't usually come and
do their necessity. I get back to what
I am doing and I get done in just a bit.
I pick the clothing up and look at how
I did and I am happy with the result. I
stand up from the grass mat.
“I am done!” I say.
He turns and looks at me. I swallow.
“Ok” he walks towards the bank.
It means he is getting out. I turn my
back on him and look over the whole
area.
“I am done” he says and I turn
around.
I look at him and the pants are now
patched up from my sewing.
“Thank you” he places his hands in
his pocket.
“Pleasure” I pick up my things. It is
late for me.
“I will see you tomorrow” he says
I am happy to see him tomorrow.
“Ok bye Gatsheni!” I shout as I run
away leaving him there.
I get home just in time and I went to
put my things away before I went to
my mother. We dished up some food
and my mother placed some for my
father as well when he comes back
home. I am sitting on the floor while
in thoughts while playing with my
food. I am a bit worried about Qaphile
and wonder why he has always
avoided telling me where his home is.
I want to ask my mother if she knows
any Ndlovu household but then again
I rethink the idea and save myself
from getting into any trouble.
“I can't wait for you to go to Kwa
Langa” my mother says.
I smile.
“Me too” I am quiet excited of going.
“If uziphatha kahle mntanami.
Uzothola uMkhwenyana okahle
ezinkomweni. Ziphathe kahle
Khethiwe ka baba( If you keep
yourself pure my child you will find a
good husband who comes from a
great family. Please keep yourself)”
my mother says.
“Yebo mah( yes mom)" I nod at that
and take a spoon full before shoving
it in my mouth.
My father's live stock stays at my
grandmother's place as she has a
bigger piece of land and my father is
avoiding paying anyone who will take
care of them so it's better with my
grandmother as there is my cousin
who can do that for free.
We eat and get done. I wash the
dishes while my mother goes to her
room. I quickly dish some of the food
and run out when I am done. I get in
my room and I lay down on my bed
as soon as I get on it.
____
I have been waiting here for some
time. I don't know what time it is but
when I left home it was about 7 am.
It's a Saturday today and I haven't
seen him in 3 days. I haven't had
time to go and fetch water and my
father was home early most of the
time. I look at my dress and wait as I
hear the river flowing. I ended up
sitting there throwing stones into the
water. I heard people shouting from
where I am and it sounded like there
was fighting. I stood up and went to
the direction of where the noise is
coming from. It was by the open field
and there was a group of people.
Mostly men to be specific. I peaked
and I saw Wandile and some of his
friends and they were carrying some
sticks hitting the other person. I
rushed there and saw who it was.
“Myekeni!( leave him alone!)" I went
on my knees Infront of him and a
hard bash landed on my back.
“Khethiwe” he groans in pain as he
says my name softly before he
passes out.
“Qaphile!” I say trying to wake him
up.
“Khethiwe move "Wandile says while
trying to pull me away but I yank
myself.
“No! Ngyiyeke wena! Gatsheni vuka
ngiyakucela ( Leave me alone! Wake
up Gatsheni I am begging you)” my
voice is breaking.
“Qaphile! Gatsheni!” a group of men
came and there were alot of them so
as the ladies.
“Oh Nkosi yami bakwenzeni?( Oh my
god what have they done to you)”
one lady says and pushes me aside
roughly attending to him.
The brothers are holding wandile's
friends and the one who seems older
than the rest is pinning him down
throwing punches on his face.
“You will kill him” I softly say and the
man shoots a look at me and I
swallow.
“We need to take him home quickly”
one of them carries him and the lady
stands up and gives me an evil look.
“Stay away from my brother” she
says before she rushes behind the
one carrying Qaphile. I sit my bum
there with my back aching as I
swallow my saliva.

I made my way home taking stops

and I would flinch with every move. I
reached home and threw myself
Infront of my mother who is sitting on
a bench while having a mango. I start
crying at that moment and she
attends to me.
“What is wrong Khethiwe?” she
asks.
I don't say anything but I cry. She
sees my back and touches it while I
flinch.
“Your back is purple. What
happened? and it's swollen” she
asks.
“I fell on a rock” I say
She doesn't seem to believe me but
she takes my hand and leads me to
my room. She undresses me and
lays me on the bed.
“Ngizokuthoba ngiyabuya( I will treat
you. I will be back)” I nod as she
walks out to get some cold water and
towel.
I hold onto my pillow and wonder why
Wandile would do such a thing to
Qaphile. What has he ever done to
him to do such a thing to him?

QAPHILE

I look at my mother who is sitting on

the floor while breast feeding
Nokuthula who is in her arms. I groan
as Kwenkosi presses on my painful
areas. I close my eyes and take in a
sharp breath.
“I am sorry” she says softly.
Sizile walks in with a bowel In her
hands. We are just 10 months apart
from each other. She joins next to my
mother and they both look at me.
“You should stop working kwaMdluli”
Sizile suggests.
“But we need the money and food" I
groan when Kwenkosi gets back at
it.
“They don't pay you sometimes
Qaphile so what are you talking
about ?”She says.
“I am fine.” I quickly say
“Lenkani kaBaba wakho angizwani
nayo( your father's stubbornness is
what I don't like)” my mother says
taking out her nipple from
Nokuthula's mouth.
If that boy thinks I am going to let go
of her then he has something else
coming.
“Mfana wami( my boy)” my father
says standing by the door.
I try to sit up and Nokwenkosi moves
back. He walks in and looks at the
women. They stand up and walk out
of the rondaval leaving us.
“Stand up” I do just that with a bit of a
struggle.
He throws a punch at me and I
stumble back and hit the floor.
“Get up!” I do just that and he throws
in another.
“Usuhlulwa abafana wena?
Usuyashawa manje wena?( you are
being beaten up by boys now? You
are getting beaten now?)” he says
calmly
“No baba" I say
“Get up” I get up again.
He places one hand in his pocket and
points the other on my chest.
“If ever I hear someone beat you up I
will hit you Qaphile uyangizwa?(you
hear me?)” he pokes my chest.
“Yebo Gatsheni ( yes)”I say
“This better be the last time you loose
a fight and tomorrow you are going to
work. Indoda ayilali ( a man doesn't
sleep)” he says and walks out. I look
at the floor where there is drops of
my blood. I grab my vest that already
has some of my blood from earlier
and I wipe my blood.

KHETHIWE

My mother rested with me the period

that I had to recover. I couldn't sleep
with my back and I had to sleep with
my stomach. I was worried about
Qaphile. Is he still alive or not?I have
asked myself those questions the
past month. I haven't went to school
because of my back problems but
now I am fine. Better if I should say. I
could help my mother around the
house better now.
I am heading back to school today
and Zijabule fetched me so we could
walk together. We talked about alot
of things and I touched a bit on my
injury but assured her that I am fine.
She told me about her trip to
Greytown and I was listening the
whole day about it. Atleast she
bought some sweets for me and I
love that about my friend. She
remembers that her friend loves
things. The day was long back at
school and alot of work was given to
me to catch up on.
After school arrived and we parted
our ways going home. I started
singing while occupying myself with
the walk. I passed a group of boys
sitting by the tree on my way home.
“Pss” there it is again.
I stop my singing and my tracks all at
once. I turn around and see him
behind me with hands in his pockets.
The pants looking great since the
time I fixed them.
“Nkosazane” he says
“Sawubona ( Hello)” he stands next
to me and I move back.
“You are ok?” I ask
“Very ok” I nod and walk away.
“Khethiwe!” I try to shut out his
calling.
I hear his footsteps behind me and
he grabs my arm turning me to face
him.
“We are still talking nje” he says
“Your family said I should stay away
from you Qaphile. I don't want to defy
their wishes” he gives me a frown.
“Come ” he says walking off.
I follow after him as we walk to the
river in silence. We stand there and I
sit down as I got tired. He looks down
on me.
“Khethiwe” he heaves a sigh.
“There are 13 of us at home ...my
siblings and I” oh how I wish I had a
sibling. He is telling me a bit about
his family.
“It must be nice. I am alone at home”
I say
He looks towards the river.
“We will have alot of children together
don't worry”he says
I shy away for a moment and look
back at him. He turns to me.
“I will see you tomorrow after school ”
I nod.
“Ok” I stand up and leave him there.
I couldn't stop thinking of what he
said at the river about us having alot
of children. He always takes me by
surprise when he speaks. I look down
and kick some stones as I am
walking. Energy to sing on my way
home has left me but now I am stuck
in this good world for a moment. A
world that is created by me for
temporary visits.
____
He kept his promise and waited for
me! I didn't think he would and I had
prepared myself for disappoinment.
My mother wouldn't be happy to learn
that seeing a boy makes me happy.
My father would weigh the options of
where his house hold is and how
many cows they have and would
make me gone in a instant if it
pleases his heart as much.
I reach him and he turns to just look
at me and I look away from his
gaze.
“Nkosazane” he says
“Gatsheni” I reply softly.
He smiles. Relaxes more than before
I came here.
“The reason why I wanted to see you
was because..." He pauses for a
moment and slips his hands in his
pockets.
“I am leaving Msinga” I look at him
and hold onto my bag.
“Why?” I ask
“I have to” I nod and look at him.
I don't understand. My head is trying
to wrap around what he is saying to
me.
“You have to ?” I am trying to process
this.
“Yes”
I am silent for a moment then I
speak.
“Bye then Gatsheni. Uhambe kahle (
Travel well)" I say turning my heels
and preventing myself from crying.
”Bye Nkosazane" I nod and walk
away from him.
I have grew fond of him over the
time. I didn't expect him to leave so
soon. What about all that he has
been saying? Did he lie to me? He is
not an honorable person after all but I
wish him luck where ever he is
going.
“Khethiwe!” it's Wandile Mdluli.
I run as fast as I could away from him
before he could stop me.
“Khethiwe! Khethiwe!” he keeps on
shouting my name but I ignore him.
The tears drop and I stop my tracks
after a long distance and wipe them
vigorously from my face and keep on
walking with a heavy heart.
Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
Daily New African Novels Download
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The girls kept on singing. Nothing
has filled my heart than being here
amoungst other pure maidens each
year to celebrate with each other and
be together. The look on my mother
shows how proud I am of still keeping
myself and my father can't wait to
hand me away to any family he sees
fit for me. He is scouting by the looks
but I am not here for that. I am here
for myself and my enjoyment of being
Kwa Langa. It has been two years
ever since that day. I couldn't seem
him depart and I told myself that he is
gone and would never come back
here in Msinga. For what exactly ?
He never mentioned where he is
going but just said that he is leaving
Msinga and that was it.
I see my father talking with my aunt's
husband for some brief time before
joining Bab'Buthelezi and they have a
lengthy conversation.
“Wezintombi anibophelele!•••”we start
singing once again and boys start
whistling as we dance.
They stand up from where they are
cheering for us and we dance even
more as our mother's are also joining
in on them. It didn't stop us but gave
us more reason to go on.
____
“We were beautiful today” Zijabule
says while running her fingers on her
skirt.
“Alot. I can't wait to go back again
next year” she is silent for a moment.
“My uncle found a husband for me
Khethiwe” I look at her and she
seems happy.
“Is he old?” that's the first thing I ask.
“Its the chief. He chose me ” she
says excitedly.
I wouldn't be. He is old enough to be
my father but with my friend it's all
about the money and status that is
all.
“I am happy for you” I mask a smile.
She hums away in her own world as
we are walking together. She waves
at me as soon as we get near her
home and says her good byes and I
carry on with my journey home. I get
home and change out of my outfit.
My mother asks me to go and fetch
some water or I will fetch it the next
day if I am tired and I opted for the
next day. I had finally finished the
bracelet Wandile wanted and no I
didn't sell it to him but decided to
keep it to myself. He still chases
around me and I don't like it but he
doesn't give up that is for sure. He
said he will never give up until I am
his bride one day. We shall see then.
____
I woke up in the morning and did
some of my chores before I made my
way to the river to collect water. I
have finished school now and all I do
is help out Mama with anything
around the house and she teaches
me how to take care of my home one
day when I get married. It's all about
that now with my father it's never a
different story. I wish I could go back
to yesterday and have to go through
that day once again. It was an
amazing one for that fact.
“Inkomo Zababa aziphelele
namuhla..” I sing on my way to the
river.
I get to the river and take off my
shoes. I dip my feet in and start
collecting some water as I am singing
while holding my dress from getting
wet as I am bending. The bucket gets
filled and I try to pull it from the river
when manly hands touch my bucket
and I get frightened letting the bucket
go.
“Nkosazane”he places the bucket out
of the river.
I turn to face this voice.
“Qaphile” I gasp a little in shock of
seeing him.
“Yebo Nkosazane” I get closer to
him.
He looks different now from when I
last saw him. In different clothes than
what he usually wore and more of the
handsome dark man he is. He even
has a watch on his wrist.
“You are back” I say trying to tell
myself he is here.
He nods.
“You are here" I say the last
statement as I wrap my arms around
him.
He does the same. He smells good
as well.
“You left me" I softly say.
“Ayidle iyishiyele MaCele ( I am
sorry)”he says in his deep voice.
That voice that always took me by
surprise Everytime he spoke and
interested me into listening to him
more. He sighs as he is holding me. I
never thought it would feel this good
to have a man hold you in this
manner. I am still enjoying and I don't
want to let him go.
“Khethiwe..”he says
“Gatsheni”
“Qaphile!”I let go of him and we look
back.
I assume it his brother who is looking
at us. I move back from him and take
my bucket. He comes to assist me.
“I will see you tomorrow” I nod before
the bucket is placed on my head.
I thank him and he places his hands
in his pocket before I walk away. I
pass his brother and greeted.
“Sawubona (Hello)” he nods and I
walk away from there.
I make my journey home and for
some reason I am just happy. Very
happy than I was yesterday. I make
my way home and help my mother as
soon as I get there. We get done with
work and sit outside occupying
ourselves but my mind is occupied by
Qaphile. I smile on my own just by
thinking of him. That hug left me
stuck in this world of my own that no
one could enter but me. My father
came back home just in time and he
seemed happy as well. He got seated
and so as us with our food. He looks
at me.
“Khethiwe kaBaba" he says.
“Baba”
“The Mdluli's want to pay for your
hand in marriage” my mother closes
her eyes.
That's Wandile's family.
“What? Baba I don't love Wandile”
“You will learn”
“But•••”
“Are you defying me?” my father
says
“Ngiyaxolisa baba( I am sorry)” we
carry on eating.
I wasn't in the mood anymore as my
father is raving about his his kraal is
expanding now. I excused myself
when I was done and went to my
room and cried myself on my pillow.
What is Wandile doing with my life ?
____
I throw the next stone in the river and
it bounces on top before it sinks in
the water. I take another one and
throw it in the water and it skips
before it sinks in again. I pick up
another one and one is thrown on the
river and it skips more than mine. I
look beside me and he looks
concerned as he sees my tears. I
quickly wipe them while I look away.
“What made your cry?” his voice
sounds bitter.
“Nothing" I softly say and stand up.
“I don't like how you are right now
Khethiwe”
“I can't see you anymore" I say
He looks at me with hands in his
pocket and I could smell a bit of
smoke mixed with his perfume. Does
he smoke?its not irritating though.
“Why can't you see me anymore?” he
asks.
“Qaphile please understand.” he
frowns
“Give me a reason to understand" oh
he is making this harder than I
thought.
“I am getting married...KwaMdluli” he
chuckles as he steps Infront of me
and I lift my head to look up to him.
“You are mine Khethiwe" I find myself
nodding at his command.
I swallow at that moment and he
holds my face with his one hand. It's
roughshows that he is a person of
hard labour. He takes my hand into
his.
“But you left me” I say with more
heaviness from my chest.
“I said I will marry you” I nod.
He remembers that? I thought he had
forgotten about that. He places his
lips on mine and I gasp giving him a
chance to kiss my lips. My heart is
beating fast. I am kissing a boy! I am
kissing a boy! He doesn't let go of my
hand but holds it tightly. I am even
enjoying as our lips move to please
each other. As I feel flutters in my
stomach in an instant. As I feel every
kind of good feeling that pulls me
back into my own world that we both
get stuck in. We pull out from the kiss
when we are fully satisfied with each
other.
“Tell your father you are going to
marry Qaphile Ndlovu. whether he
likes it or not. Uyezwa?(You hear
me?)”I nod my head.
“Yebo Gatsheni”
He pulls me in that hug once again
and I don't want him to let me go. I
love him. I love Qaphile and I would
rather be with him than anyone else.

QAPHILE

That boy is starting with me again

and he thinks I would just let him be
with my Khethiwe. After spending
some time with her by the river I
made my way back home. I am
leaving in two days time. I work in
Durban with Some of my brothers.
Phuthuma and I got a job as
conductors at the taxi rank. We got to
do our licenses so we can also be
drivers. It brings in better money than
what we used to get here while
working for people who pay us when
they felt like it.
“I will kill that boy!” I hiss as I walk
in.
“Whats with the noise?” my mother
asks.
She is feeding Nokuthula and Sizwe
some porridge. The rest are outside
of which are the little ones rolling
wherever they are rolling and
messing themselves.
“That Mdluli boy”I say.
Gatsa pulls me out of the house
quickly before I say anything further
and so as the rest follow. We stand in
a circle outside and my mother looks
at us with a frown before she went
back to feeding the little ones.
“Calm down”Nqobi says.
I breath in and out.
“What happened?”Zaba asks.
“He is taking MaCele away from me ”
Sponsored
I say
“I knew we should've killed him that
day!”Zaba says.
“Calm down Gatsheni"Phuthuma
quickly says.
He places his hands in his pocket.
“He won't take her” he says
“But Bhuti he has everything that I
don't have” I say
“Yeyi you are a Ndlovu. We don't
care you will have MaCele one way
or another”Nqobi says.
“I wish it was easy.” I wish I could
take her hand in marriage very easily
but I have nothing to offer.
“It is.” Gatsa says.
“If she loves you she will stay” he
says.
“He is right” Zaba says
“But I am leaving in two days. Who
knows when I will be back” they are
all silent.
I sigh and move away from them.
This is frustrating me. I don't want to
let go of Khethiwe I really don't.

KHETHIWE
I couldn't stop thinking about the kiss.
I was more eager on seeing Qaphile
today. I decided today that I want to
dress nicely for when I see him. I
don't want to marry Wandile but I
want to be with Qaphile.
“Mama ngiyabuya(I am coming
back)" I say rushing out.
I don't wait for her reply but run on
my way to where we usually meet.
“Khethiwe!” I stop my tracks and dust
is there.
I look behind me and Wandile
approaches me.
“How are you?" He smiles.
“I am good" I say
“Did you hear the news?”
“I did... I”
"Nkosazane” I look behind me and
it's Qaphile.
I automatically blush and look away.
Wandile looks annoyed with him
being here.
“What are you doing here?” he says.
Qaphile looks at him. I walk away
from Wandile.
“Khethiwe!” he shouts. I ignore him
and walk away with Qaphile.
“I got you something” he pulls out
some chocolate.
I smile and thank him.
“Thank you” he holds my hand into
his as we are walking.
I love holding his rough hands.
Everything about him I just love. He
is silent for a moment before he
speaks.
“I am leaving tomorrow Khethiwe” he
drops a bomb.
I stop my tracks and he does the
same.
“Uyangishiya futhi?( you are leaving
me again?)” he looks at me.
“Ngiyaxolisa( I am sorry)” tears
stream down my cheek.
I drop the chocolate and run away
from him while he shouts for me. He
runs after me and catches up to me
me holding me. He pulls me to his
chest and I cry on it.
“Dali wami” he says
I keep on crying.
“I will come back. I don't know when”
he says
I look at him.
“Leave with me then” I say
“Khethiwe” he heaves a sigh.
“Did I do something wrong to you?” I
ask
“No you didn't. You wouldn't”He
wipes my tears and kisses my lips.
He breaks it off. I look at this
handsome person Infront of me as
my heart pulses just from sesing
him.
“Come let's go” He takes my hand
into his and we walk away.
_____
One thing I am grateful for is having a
room inside the house and outside
the house if I want to. Usually I sleep
inside when Nombukelo is around
because she is scared of sleeping in
the rondaval but I am not. His lips on
mine and kissing me as passionately.
My hands are on his back. He is
calming me down and helping me
forget of the pain that I am feeling at
the moment. They have never told
me how painful it is. He breaks the
kiss and wipes my little tears and
says
“Ngiyabonga MaCele(Thank you)”I
nod.
He thrusts in and goes back to my
lips when I feel the pain again. He is
being gentle at the same time
threading carefully with my first time.
He took me out of being a girl and
made me a woman.
I don't think he cares that his family
knows where he is at this time of the
night and his kisses help muffle my
cries as well.
“I love you” he says while breathing
by my ear.
I wrap my arms around him. I love
him too. God knows how much I love
him. I find myself crying at the
thought of him leaving me tomorrow.
Just tomorrow but I am not regretting
my decision of me giving him my
pride.
“Qaphile” I gasp softly.
He kisses my neck and I start to
enjoy as well while meeting his
thrusts.
____
He holds me from behind. There is
silence between ussoft kisses on the
shoulder that awaken unknown
things in me.
“I am happy" I quickly say before he
starts regretting it.
“I may not have it all for now
Khethiwe but I love you and I will
keep my promises" he says
I turn to look at him.
“I love you and I will wait until you
return” I say
He perks my lips and pulls me to his
naked body. I worm my way closer to
him just to feel his touch on me.
Chapter 4
CHAPTER 4
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It has been a month since Qaphile
left. I miss him but I hold on to his
words of coming back once again.
“Khethiwe ka Gogo" I rush towards
my grandmother and hug her.
She gives me kisses and I sit next to
her on the bench. We both watch as
my parents are approaching the
yard.
“Go and get some juice and biscuits
Khethiwe" I stood up and made my
way inside the house.
I got what my grandmother needed
and made my way outside serving
them.
“You have disappointed me
Khethiwe" my grandmother says.
“Gogo?” she shakes her head and
my parents eager to know on what
she is saying.
“I thought you would keep yourself
pure until you get married” I look
away. She sips on her juice.
“But she is still pure Mah” I am
shaking a bit.
“Are you Khethiwe?” I couldn't lie.
I can't lie even if I tried about
something this big.
“No" I softly say.
My father tries to pounce on me but
my mother comes between us giving
me a chance to run away. It's a shock
to them but my father is more
angry.
“Who is that boy who has the nerve
ukungena esibayeni Sami Khethiwe
and you let him?!" He is shouting.
“I am sorry baba ” I quickly say
“Sorry?” he rushes after me and my
mother shouts after him.
“Cele wait !" She shouts.
My grandmother's big mouth.
Couldn't she keep it to her self if she
saw I wasn't one anymore.
I ran away but he caught me and
gave me the hardest slaps I have
ever recieved.
“I am sorry" I keep on begging.
He is livid my mother rushes to us
and stands Infront of her husband. I
am now a crying mess.
“Khethiwe" My grandmother picks me
up from the floor.
“Lets sit down and talk" as much as
my mother is calm but I know she is
angry as well.
“I am sorry” I keep on saying.
“Who is he?"my father asks. I feel
dizzy from that slap already.
“He..he"I throw up on the floor that
moment.
My mother gasps and my
grandmother brushes my back.
“Awu Jesus. Khethiwe
umithi!?(Khethiwe are you
pregnant?)"She says.
“Mah?”
“Are you pregnant?” I shake my head
quickly and look at my grandmother.
My father clicks his tongue and walks
away.
I am not pregnant.
_____
My grandmother brings in some
warm sugared water and sits next to
me. She holds my hand and brushes
it making me drink the water.
“Is it that Mdluli boy who is going to
marry you?” I thought of Wandile.
“No” I quickly say.
“He is a Ndlovu" she is silent for a
moment.
“That big family leh ngaphesheya?”
where?
I just nod because I know he once
told me they are a big family as it is.
"Kodwa Khethiwe. You know your
father is livid. It's bad now that you
are pregnant” I swallow.
“I didn't mean to" she sighs.
“I have to tell your father" she stands
up and walks out leaving me laying
on the bed.
This is a mess a big one and for a
moment I am all alone. He is not here
to comfort me and help me through
this situation. I know he wouldn't be
able to pay inhlawulo as he is trying
to feed his family and now this baby
decided to come along.
A baby. Something in me that is a
part of him as well is growing inside
of me. I find myself fearing. How can
I be a mother when I am just 18
years old. How can I be a mother
when I need to be mothered as well?
I could hear the shouting from where
I am and I know it's my father. He is
angry but mostly disappointed in me
but I don't regret that night with
Qaphile. I don't regret giving him my
pride at all.
***
I insert the coin into the machine and
I take the piece of paper and I look at
it. This old man who is having
amageu is looking at me listening to
the Maskandi music coming from the
shop. I dial the number and wait a
second placing the phone on my ear.
I am nervous and scared at the same
time.
“Hello” A woman answers.
I look at the number on the paper that
I have dialed and it seems like I
dialed the correct one.
“Uhm Hello sisi .I am looking for
Qaphile Ndlovu" I say.
“Oh he just went outside. Who are
you?" She asks.
“Khethiwe” I say
“Oh ok. I will let him know you called"
I thank her and place the phone
down and folded the paper and
leaned against the telephone while
sighing.

QAPHILE

I take a puff and release it one more

time before I throw away my stud.
The warm air is what I love about this
place and the ocean intrigued me
when I first came here. I didn't think I
would love living here and I couldn't
imagine myself anywhere else. I am
sitting with Phuthuma and he is
having a plate of pap and Livers that
are sold by Joyce here at the taxi
rank.
“Qaphile!"she calls out for me from
her stall and I get up.
“I am coming back" Phuthuma nods
as I walk away.
I reach her and she hands me my
phone.
“Someone called. Her name is
Khethiwe" she says
I look at my phone.
“What did she say ?" I ask rather
quickly and concerned.
“Nothing. She just mentioned her
name"
Sponsored
I ask rather quickly and concerned.
“Nothing. She just mentioned her
name" she turns and walks away.
I try to call back the same number
and it rings a few times. I walk away
from where I am and place one hand
in my pocket before the call gets
through.
“Khethiwe"
“Qaphile” I smile for a moment.
I have missed her so very much over
the weeks I have been away.
“How are you?” I ask
“I am.. I am hanging there" I frown.
“Whats wrong Dali wami?” I ask.
“Kuningi Ndlovu( it's alot)”.
“Tell me ” I say
She sighs for a moment.
“Ngizthwele( I am pregnant)” I pause
for a moment.
I am silent for a moment.
“Qaphile are you still there?” I hang
up and run my fingers on my face.
I walk to where Phuthuma is and my
phone rings but I don't answer but
shove it in my pocket.
“What's wrong?" He asks.
“Nothing” I will see you.
I climb in the already full taxi and
start it before driving off.

KHETHIWE

He didn't say anything. He just left

me like that. I couldn't help myself but
cry. My journey back home was a
sour one after that call.
I get home and my mother ignores
me. She doesn't want to talk to me
and said she doesn't have a child
anymore. It really hurts how we used
to get along and now we don't. It's
clear that I am all alone in this and
doing it on my own.
“Mah I'm sorry” I say
She looks at me the carries on with
what she was doing anyway. I sigh
and I make my way inside.
I go to my rondaval and I lay down
while crying for a little while before I
dozed off. I didn't have the appitite to
eat anything.
____
I was woken up by the sound of soft
knocks onto my window. I sat upright
and they kept on coming making me
get off my bed and go and look on
what is happening. I see a figure and
I am a bit frightened a bit until I hear
a soft“Khethiwe” I quickly attend to
opening the window and I look at him
while stepping aside. My heart yelps.
“When did you arrive?"I ask.
“As soon as I could" he says.
He jumps inside and looks at me
placing his hands in his pockets.
“I am sorry” he utters those words.
It seems like he was contemplating
with himself whether to say it or not.
I am happy that he is here. I wrap my
arms around him and he holds me
close to him.
”Ngonile. Akumele ngibe lay'kaya
ngingahlawulile(I did some damage
and I am not supposed to be here
without paying the damages)" he
says
I don't care. He is here with me.
“I love you” he kisses my lips and I
am taken.
His hand moves to my butt and he
squeezes it a bit and I giggle. He
chuckles while breaking the kiss.
“Why are you laughing?” I shrug.
Silence falls into the room.
“I don't have it all Khethiwe but I
won't abounden you and our child.”
he says
“I don't care about what you have
Qaphile.” he kisses my lips and then
forehead.
The love we share is all I care
about.
“Come and rest” he must be tired.
“Are you hungry?” I ask
“No I am fine”
I pull him in while closing the window.
He undresses himself before slipping
into the blanket. I join him and he
wraps his arms around me and
heaves a sigh. Soon enough I slip
back into sleep again.

I woke up in the morning and he

wasn't there anymore. The sounds of
the chicken served that the sun has
risen and it's time that I wake up. I
kick the blankets and wake up. I
clean up my room before making my
way out wondering where he had
disappeared off to. I found my mother
already making soft porrige by the
fire. I greeted and she didn't
acknowledge the greeting at all. I
kept my silence there after and went
on my duties.

QAPHILE

It felt like I didn't have an ounce of

sleep when I did get to sleep. It's
stress that is making me feel tense
through my body and tired. I don't
know how to go about this situation
that has came before me. That I
would later on be a father at my age.
I don't know how I will include my
child into the money I get from the
city but I am determined and deemed
to take careof Khethiwe and our
child. I have to do right by her at the
moment.
My mother was surprised to see me
arrive this morning and so as my
father and siblings. He had a bit of
suspecions and my sisters were
asking questions of where I am
coming from and what did I arrive
with but I didn't answer their
questions fully as I hitch hiked my
way here and the rest of the journey I
walked. There wasn't any transport
available anymore for me to take as I
arrived late in the area.
I am seated down now. The little one
looking between my mother and I
while she dishes up some porridge
for me. I have taken a warm bath and
changed in some of my old clothes.
The trouser that Khethiwe sewed
back is worn. She places the dish
Infront of me and I thank her before
eating. She looks at me with a smile
and she drags stumbling Sizwe
followed by her son and they walk
out. I get done with eating and place
my dish where it is supposed to be
before I leave the main rondaval.
I find myself sitting by the front hump
and looking over the view Infront of
me. The cows and Chickens not to
be heard by a bit near by. My father
sits next to me and keeps his silence
for a while before he starts talking.
“What are you doing here so early
Qaphile. Where are your brothers?” I
keep quiet for a moment before
sighing.
“I left them” I say.
“Ngonile Gatsheni(I did something)” I
don't wait for him to talk.
“Wenzeni?(What did you do?)” he
looks at me.
I keep quiet for a moment trying to
piece what I am going to say.
“Ngone intokazi yakwaCele( I
impregnated a girl from the Cele
house hold)” he closes his eyes
defeated.
“Didn't you learn with
Mbewuyesizwe?” he is a bit angry
from his voice.
I don't know how to answer to his
question. He shoots his eyes at me
and stands up calling my mother. I
close my eyes and sigh as he walks
away. I rub my head a bit and stand
up following him inside the main
rondaval. I get in and my mother
looks at me. Anger evident on my
father's face.
“I want to pay the damages” I say.
“With what Qaphile?! You know how
the situation here is like. Phuthuma
didn't do it for Sizwe's mother. Ayi
nawe kodwa!” Thuli says walking
out.
Kwenkosi sits silently as she feeds
one of our siblings the soft porridge.
“Kodwa Qaphile” the defeat in my
mother's tone is not to be missed.
“I am sorry” she wipes her face and
turns around carrying on with her
duty.

KHETHIWE

I sit by the river. I am running away

from the foul mood at home and the
silent treatment that I could not take
at the moment. I throw the stones
into the river just to pass time before
hand cover my eyes and that deep
voice gives away on who it is.
“Gatsheni” they get removed.
He comes and stands next to me. I
stand up from the floor dusting myself
and face him. He places his hands in
his pockets looking at me.
“Ngiyaxolisa MaCele”there he is
apologizing.
He pulls me to him with his one arm
and I wrap both of them around him.
We stare at the river in a bit of
silence before he speaks.
“Everything will be ok” I hope
everything does.
“I am scared”I admit.
He is silent for a moment not saying
anything.
“Ngiyakuthanda Ngenhliziyo yami
yonke sthandwa Sami(I love you with
my whole heart my love)”
I smile.
“I love you so much Qaphile”.
Chapter 5
CHAPTER 5
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“Khethiwe!” I look up and it's my
mother.
I was done with bathing and also the
duties of the day. I haven't been
feeling well and the vomiting seems
to be a problem that I would be
facing. My father is still angry and is
not talking to me. I ruined the
chances of him getting a great deal of
cows from the Mdluli family. I don't
love Wandile and I would never in my
life love him. After what he did to
Qaphile I would not see myself with
him.
“Mah”I am a bit shocked.
She is talking to me. Even if it's just
calling my name but it's something.
“I got you some herbs for the
vomiting. Finish up then come to
drink and go and wear proper clothes
we are leaving”
I nod and rush to my rondaval and
change into something proper and I
come out after some time. Qaphile
went back to Durban. Yes I know
where he is and I would go to the
local telephone to give him a call as I
don't have a phone of my own. He
asks about the baby that is growing.
My stomach is getting hard and a bit
visible with only just as early as two
months or is it because I don't eat
alot anymore. I can't seem to keep
anything down my throat.
I get in the main house and my
mother hands me the drinking herbs
and I drink up. It's is bitter and leaves
a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Your father and Uncles are taking
you to that boy's home” I look at her.
“Why?”
“Your father didn't impregnant you
Khethiwe and that family Is not
coming to pay damages!” she is
angry
“I am sorry” I say
“You disappointed me very much.”
she says
I look down to my feet.
“Go and pack your clothes”
“But Mama I•••”
“Now Khethiwe! You don't want to
anger me ” I look at the door and it's
my father.
I wipe the tears from my face. My
mother looks away from me and I
walk out. I go to my room and I cry
for a moment what is happening
really ? Is my father chasing me
away from his house?could it be?
“You should be packing not crying”
it's him by the door.
“Baba Ngiyaxolisa ngiyakucela (Dad I
am sorryplease)” I press my hands
together.
“If you don't pack for yourself. I will do
it for you” he says while walking out.
I take the plastic bag I have and I
throw in my clothes and also my
sewing material and beads.
Everything that was mine and I got
done. My uncle walked in and he
smiled. He takes my bag and we
walk out of my room. My aunt's
husband Bab'Khoza was here as
well. I swallow the lump in my throat
and I walk towards them. My aunt is
here and so as my mother.
“Get inside” We get inside my aunt's
husband's car and I look back home
before the car drove off.
___
I have never been here. It would be
my first time stepping foot onto the
Ndlovu homestead. To be honest I
am scared and my heart is racing. My
father and the uncles went out of the
car while I remained with my aunt
and my mother. My aunt is being nice
to me and has been comforting me
and brushing my hair the whole
journey.
“They are opening the gate” my
mother says
I look out the car and see some of
Qaphile's random brothers. I don't
know them but now I know that they
are his brothers.
My father signals for my mother to
come out and she does. I am left with
my aunt in the car. I am scared
really.
“Khethiwe Nana" I look at my aunt.
She takes out a lunch box from her
bag and a plastic and hands it to
me.
“Put it in your bag ok?” I nod and I
place it there.
“I love you ok?” I nod.
“I love you too aunty”.
We are told to come out as well and
now alot of eyes are on us. I hold
onto my plastic bag as we walk inside
the yards. It's not much but he wasn't
lying that they are a big family. I had
my head bowed down the whole time
in silence.
“This is Khethiwe”my father says.
“I see. Qaphile is in Durban for now ”
the man says
“I don't want her anymore. You would
see what you do with her” I shoot my
head up hearing my father's words.
“Bhuti•••” my father gives off a look to
my aunt before he can protest
further.
“Kwenkosi take her things” the man
says to one girl.
“But Baba•••”
“Don't Thokozile!” the man interjects.
She huffs and gives me an evil look. I
look down. My aunt hugs me
“Take care of yourself ” she is a teary
mess.
I wish I could stay with her but I can't.
I nod as my bags get taken away.
They leave me they left me with
people I hardly knew.
***
I have been seated at this corner on
my own with my things close to me. I
feel scared that I am in a foreign
place. It would've been better if
Qaphile was here and maybe I
would've eased up a bit. I have learnt
that this rondaval is shared amoungst
everyone so there is no privacy in
this place.
“Hey here is some food” it's the girl
from earlier. The one who took my
bags.
She sits next to me and places the
food down.
“I am Nokwenkosi but you can call
me Kwenkosi” She says with a
smile.
“Khe•••Khethiwe” she smiles.
I look at the food.
“I can't keep things down lately” I say
and she laughs.
“SorryMama also couldn't keep things
down with Nokuthula” she smiles.
“What should I get for you?” she is
sweet
“I am fine”
Sponsored
I politely say.
Her sister walks in and looks at us.
“Nokwenkosi mom is calling you” she
says
“I will see you just now Khethiwe.
Maybe you can go outside” I nod.
She walks out with the food and her
sister stands there who I had learnt is
Thokozile.
“Didnt I tell you to stay away from my
brother?” I am silent.
“You think we have money to feed
you and your bastard baby”she says
“My child is not that” I quickly say
“Eyi shut up. You will regret going
after my brother nx” she walks out.
I swallow and push back the fresh
tears. I calm down before I open my
plastic that was handed to me by my
aunt and it has money inside. I have
never seen so much money in my
life. I don't know where I would hide
it. I don't trust these people yet.
“MaCele” I look up and it's one of
Qaphile's brothers. He has a baby
boy in his arms.
He puts the boy down and the baby
stumbles it's way to me and falls
before standing up and stumbling to
me opening it's arms for me to catch
him and I do. He rests his head on
my chest and clenches his fist on my
dress.
“Sawubona(Hello)” I say softly
“Abona(Hello)” I giggle a bit.
“He likes you” I look up to him.
“I am Phuthuma”he says
“Khethiwe”
“We know. Qaphile doesn't stop
talking about you” I shy away.
“I love him” I say
“I am happy to hear that.We have
informed him. He said he will call
later on” I nod looking away as
embarrassed by my parents
behavior.
“Sizwe come” he calls for the one in
my arms but he doesn't move.
He comes to try and take him but he
cries and holds on to me tightly.
“I can stay with him it's fine” I say
“I don't want him bothering you”
“Its fine” he nods and walks out.
I sigh and run my fingers on this
child's face. Even though it's stressful
now but I can't wait to have my child
in my arms with Qaphile in our lives.
The day went by quickly and I haven't
adjusted to my living situation as yet.
I spent the whole day with Sizwe and
Nokwenkosi. He has a really nice
name I should say. I asked
Nokwenkosi about his mother and all
she mentioned is that she dropped
him here and said she never wants to
be in his life. Who would want to
abounden such a wonderful child? I
have encountered moments with her
mother but I avoided the father. He is
a very intimidating man. This family is
very intimidating.
We were now settling to go and rest.
Nokwenkosi said I could sleep next to
her if I wanted. I did agree because I
am starting to feel comfortable
around her. Bhuti Phuthuma walked
in the room and said“Khethiwe” he
signaled his phone and I went
towards him. I took it as I walked
outside into the dark cold night. I
stood a bit far so they wouldn't hear
what I am saying.
“Hello” I say
“Dali wami” I feel happy hearing his
voice.
“I am sorry” I quickly say.
I miss him. I miss him so very much.
“It’s ok. It's ok. I will try and come
back as soon as I can ok?” I nod.
“Ok”
“I love you MaCele” I smile.
“I love you too Gatsheni”
“Inhliziyo yami ivele igcwale injabulo
mangizwa lokho mama(My heart is
filled with joy when I hear that)” I
giggle.
“I am happy to hear that”
“I have to go. I will call tomorrow ok?”
“Ok bye ”
He hangs up. I feel at ease now. I
take the phone back to Phuthuma.

It's the next few days. Even though I

am new but I can't just sit around and
do nothing so I help out wherever I
can. Sizile and Thokozile proved to
not like me but Nokwenkosi is a
sweet one. I like her. Sizwe oh that
child I am so attached to now. He
follows me everywhere I go and
shouts“Mama!” every chance he
gets. I am in the kitchen helping with
the cooking and he is on my back
asleep from all the following me
around he was doing.
“He is really fond of you. He used to
follow me around” Qaphile's mother
says
“He doesn't want anyone anymore”
Nokwenkosi comments.
Thokozile clicks her tongue.
“You are not his mother remember
that” she says
“Thokozile !” the mother says.
“Its fine” I say softly.
She clicks her tongue and walks out
of the room.
“I am sorry about that.” I nod.
I hope Qaphile comes back as soon
as possible.
Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
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“Next!”
“Come” Nokwenkosi pulls my hand
and I stand up.
I am scared of being here. I truly
appreciate the support I get from
Nokwenkosi and her mother. It has
been 4 months since I started living
with Qaphile's family and he came
back for me and checked if I am ok. I
really appreciate it. He tries to call as
much as he can when one of his
brothers are home but sometimes I
make the trip to the store and call him
from the pay phone.
We are at the mobile clinic.
Nokwenkosi jotted down the date of
when we should go to check if
everything is still well. The stomach is
there and very much visible now. I
am not getting fat I haven't gained
much weight. It's the stress. From
Qaphile's other sisters and the living
condition. I am not desputing it but
being swore at in corners for being
pregnant is something I can't handle.
Thokozile hates me with every fiber
in her and she doesn't hide it even
one bit.
She sits me down on the bed as
instructed by the nurse and she
moves away holding the little bag we
came with. I lie down as instructed
and then the nurse starts examining
what needs to be done. We get done
after that and she tells me to come
back after 2 weeks. We walk out with
Nokwenkosi and she tells me to wait
a bit she would be quick. She went
inside the mobile clinic and came
back holding some papers.
“What are those?” I ask
“Its application forms for a nursing
program. 2 lucky people can get a
bursary to a nursing School in New
castle” she says.
“You better apply fast” I say
“I got some for you too" she says
“I can't Kwenkosi. I have a child on
the way and that will take all up my
attention but you should go for it" I
say
“Oh ok”
“Are you hungry?” she asks.
“No I am fine”
“But you don't want to eat Khethiwe.
Please” she takes out a banana
“Ok I will have some " she smiles.
We keep on walking home and taking
some break along the way. I don't
know the gender of the baby but
Qaphile's mother thinks it a boy.. She
says it's a boy as I am not glowing.
She could've said I am ugly and not
try to sugar coat anything. I love
Sizwe! My god that child is something
else. As naughty as he is but he is
such a human you can't get angry at.
He sometimes rests on my stomach
when he is tired and I let him be. He
gives me baby fever very much.
We get back to the Ndlovu yards and
Thokozile is standing by the rondaval
looking at us. She shakes her head
and speaks.
“There is alot of work waiting for
Khethiwe. She can't get special
treatment because she is pregnant.”
she says.
“She doesn't need to strain herself"
Nokwenkosi says
“She is not the first person to get
pregnant and definitely not the last”
she hisses.
“Thokozile!” it's Qaphile's father.
“Baba but•••”
“Don't start me Thokozile. Leave the
poor child alone” I am scared of the
father.
I have been trying as much as I can
to avoid him.
“Yebo baba" she gives me a look
before she walks away.
Nokwenkosi comes to my rescue and
pulls me away quickly. I am relived
when we are away from her father.
We place our things and get on to
helping inside preparing food for
everyone. I have gave the money to
Qaphile's mother and she insisted I
keep it for when the baby comes
instead of using it recklessly. I
haven't seen Qaphile in a month and
I actually miss him so very much.
Nokwenkosi hid the forms away from
her siblings eyes. When we are done
we serve everyone and I take Sizwe
from his sleep so he could eat and
Qaphile's mother takes Nokuthula.
“You would be a great mother
Khethiwe” I shy away from the
compliment. I hope I become a great
mother.
___
“I need to fill these forms quickly and
send them quickly before Sizile sees
them" Nokwenkosi whispers to me.
We are preparing to sleep. I look at
her sisters and then her.
“You should" they might not want her
succeeding who knows.
Zaba walks into rondaval smelling
like nicotine the only people I know
who smoke is him. Qaphile and also
Nqobi so far. The rest I haven't
caught on. Gatsa left last month to go
an work in Durban as well.
“Sis Khethiwe" he is the same age as
myself but he calls me that.
“Uhm yes?” he hands his phone to
me and I immediately know who it is.
I go outside and stand where I
usually stand when I talk to Qaphile.
“Hello”
“Sthandwa Sam" I blush.
“How are you? Are you ok?" I ask
“Yes I am ok Dali. You shouldn't be
worried how are you? How is
Gatsheni treating you?” I smile
“Uyahlupha ebusuku. Ukhahlela into
engapheli(He is naughty at night he
kicks non stop)"he chuckles.
“Aw'UBonyabenyathi ngempela" I
giggle.
“I will see you soon" I nod
“Ok I will wait”
“I love you Khethiwe” he says
“Don't give up on us" he continues
“I wouldn't think of that”
“I have to go Sthandwa Sami"
We say our good byes and hang up. I
hold onto the phone and breathe
out.
“Hey” it's Sizile.
There are 6 Girls. The other 3 are
young
“Hi” she sits next to me.
“I heard you are having heart burn
problems” I nod
“From time to time” I say
“Well I have this. It used to help Mah
while she was pregnant with
Nokuthula” she hands me a tinned
cup.
Why is she being nice?
“But you don't like me” I say
“It won't change that you are part of
this family now and my brother loves
you so truce?” she says
“Uhm thank you ” she hands the cup
to me.
“You can drink it up.You won't feel
heart burn ever again.”
I nod and take the cup. I drink up the
substance and it tastes bitter.
Traditional herbs are like that. I hand
the cup to her and she takes it.
“Good night"
Sponsored
she hands the cup to me.
“You can drink it up.You won't feel
heart burn ever again.”
I nod and take the cup. I drink up the
substance and it tastes bitter.
Traditional herbs are like that. I hand
the cup to her and she takes it.
“Good night" she walks off.
I walk inside the rondaval and hand
Zaba his phone back and thank him. I
go to where I sleep and we speak for
a while with Kwenkosi before we
retire to slumber.
___
The wetness I felt woke me up in the
night. I didn't know where it came
from. I sat up and touched
Nokwenkosi and she didn't wake up
at first. I shook her and she woke up.
“What is wrong Khethiwe?” she
whispers.
“I am feeling wet” I say
“Let me go and get mama” she
stands up and quickly walks out.
I feel a cramp in my stomach and I
hold onto my belly and breathe in and
out.
“What is going on?" It's Nqobimpi
who is asking
All I could see is his figure moving.
It's dark.
Nokwenkosi comes back with her
mother and they have lights on.
“Its too early for you to go into labour”
the mother says.
She kneels Infront of me and freezes.
I feel another cramp and I moan at
the pain
“Oh Nkosi yami" Nokwenkosi gasps
while placing her hands on her head.
“Go and get warm water for us
quickly Nqobimpi it's urgent. Wake up
Zaba and the rest” the mother
instructs.
“Ok Khethiwe I need you to be calm.
You are not going into labour. You
are loosing blood” I look between my
legs and there is a pool of blood.
“No•••" my little voice cries softly
“Calm down Sisi everything will be
alright” she says.
She pulls the blanket over my thighs
and tells me to lift my legs up. She
parted them and asked Nokwenkosi
to go and get some small blanket
from the other rondaval. Everyone
was on their feet and I was
panicking.
“Calm down Khethiwe” The mother
instructs.
Nokwenkosi comes back and so as
Nqobimpi with a bathing basin filled
with water.
“Ok I want everyone out" she says.
Only her and Nokwenkosi stays.
“What do you wish to be one day
Khethiwe?” Nokwenkosi says trying
to distract me but it's not working.
“We have to deliver the baby at this
point” The mother says in distress.
“Mah can't you stop the bleeding?"
She shakes her head.
“Khethiwe sisi I want you to be strong
for me and when I say push you push
ok?” I nodded.
The cramps felt more excruciating
than before. I cried feeling that pain.
Qaphile's mother put her hands
inside me and I could feel it as well.
She pulled out her hand and it was
bloody.
“Ok now I need you to push for me
ok?” I nodded.
“Now push” I tried pushing.
I did a couple of times before I was
relieved. I laid back onto the wall and
breathed out.
“Go and call your father" Nokwenkosi
rushes out and to call her father. He
walks in quicker than I anticipated.
It was silent within the room I was too
tired from everything and felt weak.
“Don’t close your eyes Khethiwe” it's
the mother.
“I am tired” I say
“Don't.” she says.
I try to keep my eyes open as difficult
as it is.
“Can I hold my child?” I ask.
They look at each other.
“I am afraid you can't”
Qaphile's father walks out of the
rondaval that moment.
“What is going on ? Why can't I hold
my child?” I ask. She gets a cloth and
I see her wrapping my child.
“I am sorry Khethiwe”
That's all she could say to me. I
closed my eyes for a moment.
___
I blame myself for that I couldn't do
one thing and that is protect my child.
It was in me and I failed to do so. I
failed ! I have never knew loosing a
person close to you could do so
much damage. I was a bit excited
and warming up to the idea of me
and Qaphile being parents. I
disappointed him in an unexplainable
way.
We buried my child. We couldn't wait
for Qaphile. I am sure he has heard
the news of the loss and I am even
afriad to face him once he surfaces.
Nokwenkosi was there for me and
kept on saying she is sorry like she is
the one who failed to bring a human
into this world. I took the bucket and
said I am going to collect water just to
clear my head. I embarked on my
journey to the river. I couldn't stop
crying from them on. I kept on wiping
the tears but the kept on coming out.
I sat on the rock when I reached the
river and I hugged my legs. I held
them close to my body. I softly
sobbed releasing the heaviness I was
feeling in chest. I couldn't cry with
them. I had to be the strong one
amoungst them but now I couldn't
hold it in anymore.
I stood up and watched the river flow
with power. I remember the time
when Qaphile was inside cooling
himself from the hot sun. I wonder if it
will try and ease the pain I am feeling
inside. I take off the shoes and lift my
dress walking inside the river. It was
cold as I had anticipated. I walk
further in despite my inability to swim
in the river. I went further and further
just to bury my head properly then I
would come out and feel much
better.
The water was over my shoulder and
flowing very fast making my heart
pulse a little.
“Khethiwe!”
I look behind me and it was
Nokwenkosi walking toward the
river.
“Oh Nkosi yami Khethiwe !” she
shouts.
I turn back and walk further.
“Bhuti Bhuti sisza !(Help!)”
I feel the water running against my
skin. I sobbed no one will know I was
crying if I cry inside the river. It's safer
to let out my emotions.
“Khethiwe!” the footsteps are
approaching but that voice I know
anywhere.
I turn my body and I slip as I see him
approaching I sink in the water and I
try to swim back up but I couldn't
properly. I can't swim that's the
problem. I can't swim!
I am lifted up from the water just in
time and carried to the land. I cough
in the process of it all and
Nokwenkosi is shaking while looking
at me.
_____
“Here is some tea” she hands it over
to me.
I thank her and carry on brushing
Sizwe's back with my fingers as he is
laying his head on my thighs.She
leaves me once she feels that I am
warm enough.
“MaCele” I look up to see him by the
door.
I look away from his eyes and
swallow the lump in my throat. He
walks in the room
“Please look at me ” he says
“I am sorry I failed you” I say softly as
I pull Sizwe closer to me.
“You didn't fail Don't think that”
I find myself crying once again.
“I••• I don't know what happened I•••”
I can't even explain everything.
He removes Sizwe from me and pulls
me into his arms. I sob right there as
he brushes my back slowly.
“I love you ok? And you didn't fail
anyone.”
I am happy to hear those words. That
he still loves me.
Chapter 7
CHAPTER 7
Daily New African Novels Download
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The love I have for Qaphile keeps me
going. It keeps on reminding me that
I am not all alone. That I have
someone who truly loves me the
same way I do. Nokwenkosi sent in
her application. I do alot of bead work
just to pass time as well when I am
bored and take care of Sizwe. A
cleansing was done for me as I had
lost the baby and I always blamed
myself when Qaphile didn't seem to.
It haunts me even at night I feel like I
killed my own child. It's torture living
with Thokozile here and her sister
Sizile. When Qaphile is not around
she tells me I should pack my things
and go back home since there is no
baby anymore and I have nothing to
do here.
She is making sense but I am scared
of going back home after the way my
father packed me up and brought me
here. I have helped Kwenkosi with
the chores today and we went to
fetch water together before coming
back. Nokuthula and Sizwe are
growing very wonderfully. When I
watch them giggle and play around
with no care in the world I just wish
that I was like then once again. A
child with no problems at all and
doesn't have to worry about
tomorrow. They are playing around
with the other kids while Kwenkosi
and I are seated on the grass as I am
teaching her how to do some bead
work that I learned from my
grandmother. She taught me this
since I was very young and I love
doing it.
“I don't know how you can do this
Khethiwe” she says struggling a bit
just like yesterday but is getting
better.
“It will take some time of practice”I
say
“Look at yours. You are almost done
with that necklace” she says
I give her the packet of beads to take
from.
“You should sell those
Khethiwe.They look nice” I look up to
Qaphile's mother who comes out of
the rondaval carrying little Nokuthula
and let's her down before she runs to
play with the other kids.
“I don't think people will buy them” I
say
“Ofcause they will! They are
beautiful!” she says
Thokozile comes our way holding a
bucket and stands by the door
looking at us with a hand on her hip.
“Mmh kazi lento eniyenzayo
iyonifikisaphi(I wonder what you are
doing will take you where in life)” she
says
“Thokozile”her mother says firmly.
She moves inside the rondaval.
I rummage through my done beads
and I take out the necklace and lay it
on my thighs.
“Oh this is beautiful Khethiwe”
Kwenkosi leave her art and takes
mine in her hands.
She runs her fingers on it and looks
up to her mother.
“This is my favourite one of them all” I
say
I take the bead work from
Nokwenkosi and stand up dusting
myself before I turn to her mother.
“I would like you to have it Mah” I
say
“Haibo Khethiwe into Enhle kanje
ngingayi gqokaphi nje?( Where can I
wear something this beautiful?)” she
looks at it with admire and awe.
“At Khethiwe and Qaphile's wedding”
Kwenkosi says while giggling.
Her mother joins in as well and I
blush while looking away.
“He has to have cows first before
that” Her mother says with a bit if
saddness in her voice.
“Are you ok mah?” she looks at me
and brings back the smile.
“Yes. I need to check how they are
doing in there. Thank you Khethiwe”
she walks off right after that.
“Come and show me again Khethiwe”
Nokwenkosi says.
I sit back down and take her art work
and help her with it.
“Oh now I see” she says as she
grabs it back and looks at me.
“Do you miss him?”
“I do” I say
“He will come back. Bhuti loves
you”She smiles and I return the
gesture.
We hear a cry and she leaves the
beadwork quickly. Her father is at the
fields working.
“Kwenzenjani?!(What is wrong?!)” It's
Sizile shouting from the inside.
“U-Usizwe uwile mama(Sizwe fell
mom)”The little girl says rushing
towards the rondaval.
Nokwenkosi comes back with Sizwe
who is in tears. She wipes his face .
“Ncese fano(Sorry boy)” she says.
She sits down with him and he
moves from her lap and comes to
mind before resting his head on my
chest. I wrap my arms around him
after removing my beads away.
Kwenkosi smiles and takes her
beading.
“Hai uSizwe uyazifela ngawe
akasaboni lutho lah kuthina(Sizwe is
head over heals with you. He doesn't
even look at us anymore)” She says.
I laugh and look at him rubbing his
back.
She carries on with what she is doing
and shortly Sizwe falls into sleep.

It’s at night and everyone is preparing

to rest after such a long day. Some of
the brothers are still here and they
work at the farm. I don't think they
have gathered enough courage to go
to the city. I don't sleep well at night. I
just think back to the night where I
lost my child. The bleeding and
excruciating pain that I felt.
“How will the people of the nursing
thing contact you?” I ask
“I left Bhuti Phuthuma’s number and
where they can drop the letter off”
“I hope you really get it” she smiles.
“Into engingayi jabula yoh( I would be
so happy)” she giggled and I joined
in.
“Stop making noise” It's Thokozile.
She looks at us.
“Thokozile cela ume kancane
namhlanje( Thokozile pleas stop)” It's
Fezihle.
She looks at me and takes the
blanket then lays next to Sizile. We
lay down with Nokwenkosi.
____
We are on our journey to the river. I
was forbidden for some time to go
there by Qaphile and also his father.
They are scared I might drown myself
in there of at times I wish I could do if
I had the courage. We get to the river
and Kwenkosi stops her tracks.
“Wandile Mdluli is here” she has fear
over her.
I don't want to see Wandile but we
need to get some water.
“Let’s go” we hold each other's hands
and walk towards the river.
He is with his friends and some of the
Buthelezi brothers as well. They are
very close as they are always
together when we see them. One of
them pats Wandile as we get to the
river. We collect the water that we
need and pull the buckets out of the
river.
“Khethiwe” I turn to look at Wandile.
“How are you?” he asks
“I am fine” I say
I help Nokwenkosi with her bucket.
“I heard you were pregnant for that
Ndlovu boy” he says with much
digust.
I ignore him and he holds my arm.
“You should be my wife right now. I
can take you back if you leave him
and that child” I yank my arm off his
grip.
“I don't love you. I love Qaphile and I
wouldn't want to marry you but him!” I
say
“You want to stay hungry? Just
because he works at the city doesn't
mean anything. I still have more
wealth than him” He says with
arrogance.
“I don't care about your wealth or
stupid cows Wandile leave me alone”
“You will regret this Khethiwe. You
will regret wanting that boy when you
suffer just like his family”
“Khethiwe let's go” Kwenkosi says.
I click my tongue and carry my
bucket. We walk away from him.
“He is right Khethiwe. We have
nothing. All we live off is dad’s
vegetables that hardly lasts us some
time. Yes obhuti are working at the
city but there are alot of mouths to
feed and there is also them to feed at
the city” she says with a much heavy
heart and breaking voice.
“Everything will be ok.I love your big
family and Qaphile.” I say
She looks at me.
“So as Mbewuyesizwe” I laugh.
“I love him too much!” she giggles
“Qaphile wouldn't be happy to hear
that”
“Well tough. You are going to
accompany me when I go and call
him?” she nods.
“Oklet's hurry back so we can go
quickly before it gets dark”
We make our journey back to the
Ndlovu house hold. The yard here is
big and that seems to be a bit of an
advantage to Babu’Ndlovu because
of how big the land is despite their
living condition. I heard the
Rondavals were made by him when
they had 2 children and one served
as a kitchen when they created the
mud Rondavals before the family
expanded.
We get there and put the buckets
where they are suppose to be and
quickly I go and take the paper that
has Qaphile's number and we rush
off making our journey to the shop to
go and make the phone call. We get
there and I had to wait as there was a
lady that was talking there. We
waited for a while until she was done
and we went towards the pay phone.
I dialed the number and waited for a
while as it rang. Sometimes I can find
him if he is not on the road. It gets
answered after some time.
“Hello”
“Boyabenyathi” I lean by the wall.
“Kunjani Dali wami(How are you my
Dali?)” I smile.
“I am well. I was checking up on you”
“I am fine it is just that I am getting
used to driving the whole day” he
says
“I see”
“I am coming tomorrow to come and
take you to visit me” I feel a bit
excited.
“Ngempela ?” I ask
“Ngempela sthandwa sami( Really
my love)” I feel happy.
“Ngaze ngajabula( I am so happy)”
He chuckles.
“I will see you tomorrow ok?” I nod.
“Ok bye bye”i say
“Bye”
He hangs up and I place the phone
and turn to Nokwenkosi.
“Let’s buy some sweets for the kids. I
have money” she nods as we enter
the shop.
“How is he?” she asks.
“He is ok. He said he is coming
tomorrow to fetch me to visit him”
She smiles.
“Yoh uya edolobheni?Uwe umuntu
sisi!( you are going to town?)” I
giggle.
“I can't wait either” we get some
sweets for the kids before we leave
the shop going back.
We reach the yard and go to help
with Cooking.The kids are now
bathing outside for the afternoon and
they are splashing water around.It is
nice being a child. You don't worry
about anything and I am sure they
don't worry about anything here.I go
and place the sweets.
“We bought sweets” I say
“Ulokhu umosha imali uthengana
noswidi abangena msebenzi ube
wazi kahle ukuthi uyadla lay'kaya (
You are wasting money buying
sweets for nothing when you know
that you are an extra mouth to feed)”
Sponsored
I say
“Ulokhu umosha imali uthengana
noswidi abangena msebenzi ube
wazi kahle ukuthi uyadla lay'kaya (
You are wasting money buying
sweets for nothing when you know
that you are an extra mouth to feed)”
Thokozile throws that comment.
“Thokozile!” It's their father. He is by
the door.
She keeps her silence and so do I.
“Qaphile is fetching Khethiwe
tomorrow for a few days” Kwenkosi
says after the long silence.
I am scared. I am scared of their
father very much and his broad voice
doesn't help just like Qaphile.
“I will talk to him” he says and walks
out.
I breathe out after that and carry on
with my duties.
_____
It's the day that I am leaving. I am
quiet excited. I have never been to
the city or even Greytown but have
stayed here for a long time. I wish I
could share these exciting news with
my friend Zijabule but Kwenkosi is
close of a friend that I can get. She is
very sweet and loving as well and
has been nice to me since I came. I
am in the rondaval and packing my
clothes in the bag and take my
money as well. I want to buy
something nice for Kwenkosi and her
mother when I get there. Maybe
something for Sizwe as well as
Nokuthula. I wonder if Qaphile can
take me to get those things.
Kwenkosi walks in the rondaval and
looks at me.
“Bhuti Qaphile has arrived” she says
“Oh ok” she helps me with my small
bag.
“You are not going forever right?” she
asks.
“No. I will come back I am just
visiting” she nods and we hug.
“He is still talking to mah no baba”
She says.
“Where is Sizwe?”
“I don't know but I am sure he is
being naughty wherever he is”She
says
We laugh a bit and her mother enters
the rondaval.
“Khethiwe usulungele ukuhamba?(
Are you ready to leave?)”she asks.
“Yebo mah”
“Ok. Qaphile is waiting for you” She
says.
“You ate?”
“Yes I did” she sighs off relief.
“Phela asiyazi ukuthi indlela ende
kangakanani kumele uhambe udlile (
We don't know how long the journey
is so you have to leave fed)” I nod.
We walk out of the rondaval and
Qaphile is standing with his father
and one of his brothers. He sees us
and comes to take my bag from
Kwenkosi.
“She must come back unharmed” His
father warns like I am one of his
daughters and Qaphile is a strange
boy he doesn't know.
“She will baba don't worry” He looks
at me.
“Lets go” He says
“Yes leave before Sizwe sees
Khethiwe and cries” His mother says
before she comes and hugs me.
We break the hug and he holds my
hand as we walk out of the yards.
When we are a distance he looks at
me and smiles and I shy away as
well.
“Wangishalazela MaCele(Why are
you looking away from me?)”he says
“You are looking at me” he chuckled.
“You don't want me to look at you?” I
nodded slowly while blushing.
He keeps a firm grip on holding my
hand. We get to the taxi stop and
wait for one to arrive and after an
hour it did. He helps me in before he
gets in and the taxi drives off.
I see the dust rises as the taxi moves
away from a place I have only known
my whole life. A place I call home.
____
We arrived in Durban and it was very
busy with people moving around in
every possible direction. Qaphile held
my hand tightly before he said:“Let’s
go”
We started walking and I was looking
around. I was used to seeing cows
and dusty pathways and not roads
with buildings so close by. I now
understand why people come to the
city. This is where money is made.
“There is a beach here and I will take
you there tomorrow if you want to” he
says
“I would love to go there.
Bayaphithizela abantu lah(People are
up and down here)” he chuckles.
“Very much Dali wami"
“Where are your brothers?” I ask
“uPhuthuma uyalayisha
namhlanje(Phuthuma is driving
today) and Zabanyathi and Gatsa are
at the taxi rank. Nqobimpi is resting
at the hostel” he says
“Hostel?”
“Where we live mama” I nod.
We go into a shop and it is not owned
by a Zulu man like ubaba uGasa
back at home but an Indian man.
“What do you want?” Qaphile asks.
I look around the shop.
“Anything” I say
“Take anything” he says
He pulls me around and I take
biscuits with chips and juice before
we go to the shop owner. He takes
out R10 and gives it to him before we
walk out. We make our way to the
taxi rank and we get a taxi from then
on. I am loving what I am seeing at
the moment. Qaphile doesn't let my
hand go and I am comfortable with
that. I love his rough hands on my
soft ones. We get to another place
and we hop out of the taxi and walk
the rest of the way to where he lives.
“There are men who live here
Khethiwe. I want you to always be by
my side or if I am not here atleast
have One of my brothers near by” he
says.
“I will do just that” He nods.
We get to a very untidy place. There
are some taxi’s parked outside and
some men washing them there.
“Aw Gatsheni omncane!” one of the
men says.
He ignores it and pulls me as we
walk inside this brick walled place. It
is instantly dark inside this place . We
are walking down a passage and
there are sheets dividing some of
these beds that are here. We get to
the far end and Qaphile throws my
bag on the bed and I look around the
place.
“MaCele” I look around and I see
Nqobimpi laying on a single bed in
his boxers on the opposite side.
“Bhuti” I look down.
“imoto ka Mdu sebeyi ngenelile”
Nqobi starts speaking to Qaphile.
“Laphi?( Where?)"
“KwaMashu. Kubi ( it's bad)” Qaphile
looks at me.
“Do you want to rest?” he asks.
I look at him and nod. I am a bit tired
and it has been a long day.
He takes a pack of cigarettes and a
lighter from under the pillow and
shoves them into his pocket. He
removes my bag and puts it on a
shelf that has two pants and
seemingly 3 tshirts.
“You can rest.” I take off my shoes
and get on the small bed.
“I will get something to put here for
more privacy” he says at the front
that will block us seeing Nqobimpi on
the other side.
“I think there is a cloth in the taxi. You
can go and check" Nqobi says.
Qaphile nods.
“I will be back. Watch her” Nqobi
nods as Qaphile walks away.
I look around for some time. I am
really happy that I am here with
Qaphile and excited of the day that
awaits tomorrow. I have to take my
money and make sure to bring
something back from this trip. I close
my eyes and rest for a moment.
★
I woke up later on to the sounds of
voices all around. I sit up straight and
I see Qaphile and there is a small
light shining that makes it a big light
here. He is taking off his clothes and I
assume that it is late at night now.
There is no window this side for me
to see clearly how it is outside. I can
see that he has put a sheet over the
front blocking us from being at other
people's sight.
“Has Qaphile come back?” I hear a
deep voice say.
“Yeah He is here” it's Nqobimpi.
“Qaphile” the person is next to us.
“Bhuti” he answers as he gets done
undressing.
“Is MaCele with you?”
“Yes”
“Ok.” he comes towards the bed and
I move having myself against the wall
and he gets in bed.
He kisses my neck and places his
hand above my stomach and my
heart beats a bit fast. He smells like
nicotine.
“I love you MaCele”he whispers into
my ear.
“I love you too Gatsheni” he exhales
at that.
The lights switch off in the place and
it's all dark.
I woke up in the morning and Qaphile
wasn't next to me. I slowly got of the
bed and sat at the edge wondering
where he might be. He did warn that
there are men here meaning he
doesn't want those men coming any
close to me or seeing me. Just as I
was getting worried the sheet moves
and he has white take away
containers in his hand with cold
drink.
“You are awake ”I nod.
“I brought some food” He gives the
container to me and sits next to me
with one.
I open it and it's Usu with Pap. I start
digging in while enjoying.
“Where did you get this?” I ask
“I went to buy it down the street. ”
“When you are done you will bath
and change so we can go to the
beach like I promised” he says.
I smile then nod. I eat till I am done
then he throws the containers away
while he goes to check if the
bathroom is not occupied with
anyone in it. I make the bed by
folding the blanket and put it where it
was before. He comes back and tells
me to take my things we can go. I
take my things and we go outside
behind the place. There is a passage
way that leads there and I could
smell pee as I am walking inside. He
is holding me and we get through a
door and there and he places my bag
on the sink.
“You can use one of the showers” he
pointed. I looked at all 3 of them and I
took off my clothes.
He opened the shower for me and
adjusted the water well. I got inside
and I bathed in there. I was used to
bathing in a basin but this is nice.
You don't have to just wait for water
to boil under the fire for warm water. I
like this. I get done and my hair is a
bit wet. I get out and wipe myself
before we head a whistle.
“I will be back. Get dressed” he says
I nod as he walks away. I quickly get
dressed in my favourite red summer
dress with black pumps. I wipe my
wet hair and the door opens as I am
packing things inside.
“Come let's go” I take his hand and
we walk out of the bathrooms. We go
and place my bag and I take my
small bag that I was given by my aunt
last year and out my money inside.
We walk out of the hostel and make
our way where the taxi dropped us
off.
_______
We are here at the beach. Qaphile
said we are at beach front and there
are alot of people in swimming
costumes and some swimming while
others are just walking on the sand.
Qaphile said we should take off our
shoes and we did just that.
“I want to feel the water” I say
He is a bit hesitant but eventually
agrees if only we are standing by the
shore and not go any further. I am so
excited I can't even hide it. I let go of
his hand immediately when we get
close to the water.
“Khethiwe!” he calls for me.
I don't listen but get to the water that
splashes my feet. It feels cold and
good. Oh my God I will tell Kwenkosi
about this! I turn around to Qaphile
who looks a bit worried and I wrap
my arms around his neck. He wraps
his around my waist.
“Ngiyabonga Gatsheni( Thank you)”
He exhales there after.
Chapter 8
CHAPTER 8
Daily New African Novels Download
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I was back in Msinga. I told

Nokwenkosi about everything and
gave her the dress I got for her at the
Chinese store in town that Qaphile
took me to. I only stayed for 3days
and I had to come back. I was
enjoying seeing everything there and
the ocean was my favourite out of the
whole trip. Thokozile wasn't pleased
when I can back and was more
mouthful to say that I was spending
his brother's money when I see their
home situation is like. She told me I
should just go home because I don't
have any baby with Qaphile anymore
and that hurt me. A reminder of how I
failed to keep our child alive. I was
out helping Kwenkosi with taking the
cabbage from her father's garden.
Sizwe was laying on my back
wrapped with a showl asleep. He
does this more frequently. When he
is tired he comes to me crying and
and muffles a little “Mama” in there
indicating he wants me to take him. I
have gotten used to him calling me
mama over the time and Qaphile's
mother doesn't seem to mind at all. I
take him from there then go and bath
him before putting him on my back.
“This one doesn't seem to be bad
than the others” Kwenkosi says
carrying the cabbage.
“Yes" the rest haven't been growing
well because of the animals eating
them. Sometimes a goat comes and
ruins the vegetables that their grows
so much.
“Kwenkosi!”We move from the
garden.
It worry some that fencing can't be
don't to protect the vegetables. We
get to her mother and she asks
Nokwenkosi to get a knife from the
rondaval and she does go. She
comes back and I set up the fire for
them whole Sizile and Thokozile are
taking a break. They dealt with the
morning food and we deal with the
afternoon. I got up and dust myself
when the fire is there. Nokwenkosi is
done with chopping the cabbage and
her mother pours water in the pot and
we wait for it to boil before we throw
the cabbage in and add salt. We go
away when her mother tells us she
will watch over the pot and we nod.
“The people from the nursing
program haven't contacted me” she
says
“They will just wait a bit ok?” she
nods.
I hope Nokwenkosi gets that study
scholarship and gets to be the nurse
she wants to be.

QAPHILE
I am leaning Infront of the taxi while
waiting for people to get in and fully
load before I go onto the road. I am
having an apple cutting it with the
pocket knife I bought while cruising
around with Khethiwe.I saw it
interesting and liked it plus it is
coming very handy as I am slicing my
apple. I cut a slice and press my
finger on the apple against the knife
before I bring my hand forth to my
mouth and take the apple.
“Qaphile!” I look up and it's Joyce.
She moves from her stall and wipes
her hands on her apron approaching
me.
“Angisakuboni kulama Langa ( I don't
see you these days)”she says placing
her hands on her hips.
“Zondo gave me a few days off” I cut
the apple and pop it on my mouth. I
was lying. Zaba was covering for me
during that time.
“Yeah I heard. Zaba said that
someone was visiting you” she says
“Oh it's Khethiwe” I say
“I hope she is ok” she says with
concern.
She knows what happened to our
child. Joyce is the main lady around
here at the taxi rank. She is a few
years older than me but still in her
20’s. Everyone gets along with her as
she is the person we buy our food
from here.
“She is” I throw the bits of what's left
of the apple.
“Othi ngibe indlela( let me leave)” I
say
“I will see you” she pats my
shoulder.
“Sho” I go and check if there is no
see unoccupied before closing the
door.
I go around and get inside then greet
everyone inside and they respond. I
start the taxi and drive off before I
turn on the radio.I miss Khethiwe.I
wish she stayed with me here but I
can't at the moment. My living
conditions and the money that I get
wouldn't sustain rent and taking care
of us then back at home. It would be
too much on me.

KHETHIWE

I am doing some of my bead work

before we sleep. Zaba is back here at
home for only a few days before he
goes back home. I sometimes can't
believe that he is the same age as
me. His behaviour says otherwise.
He is mostly quiet at times but
Kwenkosi says that he is trouble and
hot headed that is why he is at the
city so early. He is outside smoking
and he does it in secret. Their father
doesn't know that they smoke or hell
will break loose between them. He
walks in the rondaval with his vest
and boxers on.
“Lomcamo owunukayo awunuki kahle
yazi(That shit you are smelling
doesn't smell nice)” Sizile comments.
“I wonder what Baba will do when he
finds out” Thokozile gives him a
stare.
“Phumani endabeni ezingahlangene
nani ( Stay out of things that don't
concern you)” he says to his older
sisters with much irritation.
“Sisi Khethiwe” he signals his phone
and I stand up placing my beads
away before rushing to take the
phone.
I go outside to my usual spot and
stand there.
“Sthandwa sam” I smile.
“Sqandamathe Sam. Unjani
mama?(How are you?)”he asks
“I am good” he sighs
“I miss you so much I wish you were
close” I also wish the same.
“Nami ngokunjalo Gatsheni( Same as
well)” he heave a sigh.
“I am working for our family ok? We
will get married like I promised” he
says and I smile hearing that.
“Ok. I love you”
“I love you more Sthandwa sam”he
says
We spoke a bit before he ends the
call and I sigh while sitting there. I get
up and go to hand Zaba his phone
and thank him. I get in next to
Kwenkosi and push away my beads.
“Are you ok?" She asks
“Yes” I keep my silence there after
and she lets me be.
★
Today was one of those days. The
grown kids went to school and only
Nokuthula and Sizwe were left
behind. The holidays were very over
for them but as soon as they come
home they go and play.
“Bhuti!”
Sponsored
I hear Nokwenkosi shouting.
It's Phuthuma with a plastic in his
hand. He smiles as Sizwe gets a bit
excited on his grandmother's lap who
is trying to feed him some porridge.
Phuthuma gets closer to us and
greets.
“Hawu wabuya boh(You are back)”
it's his mother.
“Yes mah. Sizile take this away” he
gives the plastic to Sizile.
“I have your letter Nokwenkosi” he
says and she starts looking nervous.
“What letter?” it's his father appearing
wiping the sweat off his forehead.
Phuthuma greets.
“I came to bring Nokwenkosi’s letter”
He says
“I am scared to even open it” she
says
“Khethiwe please open it” She says
and Phuthuma hands the letter to
me.
I take it and rip it open and take out
the letter. I open it and read before I
look at the nervous Kwenkosi. I sigh.
“What do they say?” she asks.
“You are accepted into studying
nursing in New Castle with a full paid
scholarship in the next year” I say
“You are lying Khethiwe!" She can't
contain her excitement.
“When did this happen? What
nursing school?” It's Thokozile.
“You are " I say
She jumps around. Her mother starts
praising the Ndlovu ancestors and
calling out on their calna names.
“Is it wise for her to go?" It's her
father.
“It is baba. She will better her future
and get a job if she goes” Phuthuma
says.
Her father nods. I hug her and
congratulate her on it. I am so happy
for her. Very much.
It has been decided that tomorrow we
will go kwaButhelezi and buy a
chicken from there for Nokwenkosi
and slaughter it thanking the
ancestors for opening the gates for
her. Everyone is jolly but the two ask
themselves how did she get it. We
prepare supper for now and Sizwe is
now following his father everywhere
he goes forgetting about poor old
Khethiwe.
______
Its the following day and we are on
our way to buy the chicken for
Nokwenkosi with Bhuti Phuthuma.
Sizwe didn't want to be left behind so
he was on my back the whole journey
to the Buthelezi house hold. We got
in the yard and went to knock on the
door. We waited for a while until
babu’Buthelezi appeared.
“Hawu Zingane ninjani?( kids how
are you?)"he asks.
“We are well baba how are you?"
Phuthuma asks.
“We are well. What can I help you
with?" He asks.
“We came to buy a chicken”he
looked at Phuthuma.
“Follow me this way” we followed him
to where his chickens are and stood
there.
“You can choose anyone you want”
he says
Phuthuma opens the chicken coop
and crouches to take the chicken. He
pulls one off it's legs before closing
the chicken coop.
“Nokwenkosi pass the money to
baba"He instructs.
“I am giving you this one free my
kids” that is generous of him.
We thank him and make our way
back home. Sizwe is imitating the
chicken noises while bouncing
around.
“I am proud of you Kwenkosi. Don't
disappoint us”Phuthuma says
“I wouldn't bhuti” she says
We get to the Ndlovu yards and
Phuthuma goes to put the chicken
away and it will f slaughtered when
the kids arrive back from school. I go
and out Sizwe down who goes to his
grandmother.
“Khethiwe!” it's Bhuti Phuthuma
calling me.
I go to his side and he hands his
phone to me and immediately know
that it is.
“Qaphile” I answer.
“How are you?"
“I am good. You are calling early
today" I say. He chuckles
“Is it wrong?”
“No it's not. I am happy” I say
“I was missing you”
“I always do as well” I say
We talk for a while longer and I was
so happy to hear his voice. Each time
I hear him speak I find security in
that.
Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
Daily New African Novels Download
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It has been a very long year and
Christmas is approaching also the
possibility of Qaphile and his brothers
not coming back home. It would be
the first Christmas I would spend
without being home and it would be
very different from what I have
known. I enjoyed my Christmases as
a child because I was the only one.
My parents used to buy me new
clothes every year up until I left their
household. I do miss my parents and
home from time to time. I would be
on my way to my grandmother's
house at the moment and Nombukelo
pestering to come and visit during the
holiday under her mother's influence.
I know she hates the rural area but
she sucks it up each time that she is
here. Nombukelo is my cousin from
my mother's side and she lives with
her mother only and not both her
parents. I don't understand how my
mother couldn't support me when her
sister doesn't mention Nombukelo's
father but I am not there.
We are on our way to babu’Gasa’s
shop to buy amabele as instructed so
that Qaphile's mother makes Zulu
beer. It wasn't much money to be
‘Wasted’ there as Thokozile would
always complain. I found out just
yesterday that she has a boyfriend
that she sometimes meet at the river
and she always judges me for being
with her brother. This is just
something else. We saw her
yesterday and she pretended like we
didn't see her. She was all smiles and
laughing to every single thing the boy
was saying. Well not everything he
was saying but you get my point
right?
“I want to call Qaphile you can go in
and buy”I say to Nokwenkosi.
She nods.
“Come Thula” she takes Nokuthula's
hand and they walk in.
I pop a coin inside the pay phone and
dial Qaphile's number. I have
memorized it over some time now as
I constantly use it. It wasn't hard to do
so but very easy. Him and his
brothers really work hard and I am
grateful that they have all as a family
accommodated me in their life. The
phone rings but it doesn't get
answered. After some time I give up
and I put the phone down and
rummage for another coin and I find
it. I pop it inside the pay phone and
dial his number once again and it
rings unanswered again. I put the pay
phone down and move away from it.
He must be on the road and busy. I
look at the pay phone for a while.
Non of his city brothers who have a
phone are here in the area for me to
atleast get a call from him later on. I
turned my heels and walk inside the
shop. Kwenkosi is paying for what is
needed and I go and buy some
sweets with the little money I have for
Nokuthula and Sizwe who is on my
back silently being there. I know he is
not sleeping as Kwenkosi confirmed
it along the way but he is just silent.
“Khangeza Nokuthula(Open your
hands Nokuthula)” Kwenkosi
instructs as I am handing the sweet
to her.
She does so with her small hands
and I hand the sweet to her smiling.
“Bongake(Say thank you)” Kwenkosi
instructs again.
“Yabonga(Thank you)” she says in
her tiny voice.
Kwenkosi takes her and throws her
on her back before we walk the
journey home.
“I didn't find him” I say
“Maybe he is busy” I know he is. I
wanted to speak to him. It always
makes me feel happy and I haven't
spoken to him in a week.
“I know” I say
“Soon I will be leaving and I don't
want to do that to you” she says with
a sad tone.
I look at her as she looks to the floor
while she says that.
“I will be ok Kwenkosi. Go on and
make your family proud just as I am”
she looks at me and smiles.
“Ngiyakuthanda sisi(I love you)” she
quickly says
“I love you too” I do. She is the best
thing I have had in that family so as
many more.
“You know what? I will make nice
beads for you to take with” I say
“But you are running out of your
beads Khethiwe. They keep you
company”
“It doesn't matter.Sizwe will keep me
company”I say. She looks behind
me.
“He is asleep now” I tilt my head and
adjust him a bit on my back.

QAPHILE

I was darn tired after a long day of

being on the road. I quickly went to
buy some food from Joyce before I
could leave and go back to the
hostel. She was still there even
though it's not safe that she is here at
night.
“I almost left.” she says as I appear.
“Ngiyaxolisa(I am sorry)” I pay for the
5 food parcels.
“Let me take you home. I have
cashed in already kuZondo”
“Let me grab my bag” she goes and
takes her bag.
She comes back and we go to the
taxi. We get inside and I place the
food properly before I drive off to
where she lives. I saw missed calls
earlier and I don't have any doubt
that it is Khethiwe. I am worried that I
can't call her back since my brothers
are here.
“I have been talking but your mind
seems far” she says
“I am thinking of Khethiwe” I say
She nods and pulls her bag close to
her lap.
“You have talked to her today?”
That's the problem.
“No”I lay back on the seat as I enter
her neighbourhood.
“You really love her” she says
“I do” I answer honestly.
“I want to give her the world” I say
“Mmh lucky her” she says.
“Just go straight and drop me off by
the red container”I nod and do so. I
stop the taxi
“Thank you. Bye ” she waves.
“Bye” she closes the door and I drive
to the Hostel after.
I get there and park the taxi before
hoping out with the food. I lock the
taxi and make sure that every door is
locked before making my way inside.
Some noise is here as people are
talking to each other. I get near the
far end where my brothers are and I
see Gatsa sleeping on the bed.
“Vuka nakhu ukudla(Wake up here is
some food)” he sits up and I give him
food.
“Where are the others?” I ask
“Zaba and Nqobi are there by
Phuthuma” he says
“And wena?(you?)”I ask
“I am tired” he has his back against
the wall and digs in his food.
I go to Phuthuma’s bed and there is a
sheet covering the front. I moved it
aised and they jumped a bit in fright. I
looked at the things Infront of me.
“Vala wena ( Close here)” Nqobimpi
says
“Where did you get so much money?”
Zaba closes my mouth.
“Keep it down people will hear you.
We will explain outside” Phuthuma
says while taking the scattered
money that is on the bed and puts it it
a plastic before he shoves it in a
backpack.
He takes the backpack and signals
that we should leave. I am still
wondering where he got that money
from because we don't earn that
much to have such money. We can't
even save the little we get because it
all has to go home.
“Gatsa” Nqobimpi calls upon him and
he gets off the bed.
He wears a vest before following us
outside. I am trying to piece answers
that I don't know where to start by
getting them. We get outside and
Phuthuma says he is going to drop
the bag in his taxi before coming
back. We are now waiting for him in
silence. He comes back as we are
waiting for him.
“What is going on?”I ask first.
They look between each other. The 3
of them.
“We are stealing”
Sponsored
I ask first.
They look between each other. The 3
of them.
“We are stealing” Zaba finally says
“Stealing where? What? Why?”I ask
I don't understand and I am trying to
understand what is going on here.
“Where did you get that money
from?”
“Zondowe have been stealing from
him for months now and some shops
as well.” Nqobimpi says casually.
I look at Phuthuma who is looking
straight at me.
“Are you insane?That man owns a
gun he could kill us! Do you want to
get arrested as well” I say
“We are careful” Zaba answers.
Phuthuma steps forward and holds
my shoulders. Gatsa is just silent
standing there.
“Its time to step up manje Qaphile.
Doing things the right way doesn't
help anymore. We tried back home
but we were always robbed because
we are poor. Even here at the city it's
not any better but you see how much
money that man makes each day
because we transport those people
everyday. We have 12 people to feed
back home including isithandwa
sakho. Our pay is small so this is us
taking a step up”He says
“What are you going to do with that
much money?” I ask
They look at each other.
“We will buy a route first” Nqobimpi
says
“Then we start our own business”
Zaba says.
I don't know what to say.
“Think of Khethiwe Qaphile. Do this
for her” Nqobimpi says.
I really want to do better and be able
to provide for Khethiwe and so as my
family. I want us to be better.
“Count me in”

KHETHIWE
It's Christmas day and Kwenkosi’s
mother and I made Zulu beer a few
days ago. It's going to be a normal
day for us and nothing special is
being done either than the Zulu beer
that will be poured in the yard and
some drank by babu’Ndlovu as a
thank you to the ancestors for
keeping all of us till now. I really
enjoy my time being here but I do
wish that I didn't loose my child and
where would we be right now. I asked
to leave for a few minutes and they
agreed. I was going to go and try
Qaphile today and wish him a great
Christmas even though he is far
away from me. I make my journey to
the shop when a van stops next to
me.
“Khethiwe” I look and it's Wandile.
I ignore him as I am walking.
“Khethiwe I am talking to you” he
shouts.
“What do you want from me?”
“I want you Khethiwe” he says
“I love Qaphile leave me alone
Wandile Mdluli!” he sighs.
His father's van slowls next to me as I
am walking.
“Get in I will take you where you are
going” he says
“No I am fine thank you” he groans.
“What did I ever do to you?” he asks
“You made fun of people's situations.
That is what I don't like about you!” I
say
“I am sorry” I shake my head.
“Come on Khethiwe I could give you
a better life” he says
“I am fine”
He is silent for a moment.
“Where is your child?”
“Bye Wandile” I walk faster this time.
I soon see the van speed past me
leaving dust behind.
I get to the shop and I have to wait
for the person who is there to finish
before I make a call. He gets done
and greets me and I do the same
before I go close to the pay phone. I
insert a coin before dialing the
number and I wait hoping that he
answers. I hear a taxi hooting as it
comes to a stop Infront of the shop. I
turn my back to it as the phone gets
answered.
“Dali wami”
“Hey how are you?“I say softly
“I am good Sthandwa Sami. How are
you?”he asks
“I am well. I wanted to wish you a
great Christmas”I say
“Why don't you come and wish me
that great Christmas?”
“Haah ikude eThekwini (Durban is
far)”
He chuckles
“Ok. Ngizokubona (I will see you)”
“OkI love you”
“I love you too”We hang up and I
breathe out.
Some lady with luggage was
standing behind me waiting to use
the pay phone. I excused her and
turned to find myself astonished. He
is standing there with his brothers. I
rush to him and throw myself in his
arms and he accepts me while lifting
me up as he chuckles.
“You missed me?”
“You don't know how much I did” I
say honestly.
He puts me down and I greet his
brothers and they greet back. They
take the plastics that they came with
and we started walking back home
with Qaphile and I behind them. He
was holding my hand. Oh how I
missed holding that rough hand in
mine. The last time I saw him was
when I visited him in Durban. I kept
on glancing at him bit by bit.
“You are looking at me” he says
chuckling with his deep voice that I
have now gotten used to hearing and
love hearing.
“I was not”
He chuckles and pulls me to him and
tickles me and I start laughing.
“Qaphile stop it!” Zaba looks at us
and he shakes his head.
“Why are you lying?”
“I am not. I am sorry” he lets me go
and I get to breathe.
He looks at me and lifts my chin up to
look at him.
“Ngiyakuthanda Ngenhliziyo yami
yonke MaCele ( I love you with my
whole heart)” he says
“I love you too” he lowers his head
and kisses me.
______
We got to their home and everyone
was happy to see them as much as I
was happy to see Qaphile. The
children were all over and around
their brothers. Thokozile and Sizile
were on their best behavior today or
maybe it's just that I haven't bumped
my way into them the whole day.
Christmas was nice and I enjoyed it.
It was different from what I am used
to but I really enjoyed it. We stayed
outside until night time and the kids
were called inside. We sat by the
now not so burning fire and just
seated there.
“You know I love stars”Qaphile says
close to my ear.
I look at him
“Why do you love them?”
“They are the most beautiful thing no
one has to buy. After you ofcause” I
giggle.
I look up to the sky. Yes they are
beautiful and no one has to buy stars
in order to see them.
“Nkanyezi” I say and he looks at
me.
“Thats our son's name” he nods.
We don't touch on the subject as
much.
“Don’t stay out too late” Qaphile's
mother says from the inside.
The kids are not settling inside by the
sound of things. Who would've
thought I would be here today with
the man I love.
Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
Daily New African Novels Download
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“Don’t loose yourself. Please
uziphathe kahle mntanami(Take care
of yourself my child)” Kwenkosi’s
mother says.
Everyone is here to see her off
except Sizile and Thokozile. It is end
of January and Kwenkosi is going to
New Castle to study. I am really
happy for that I wouldn't lie about but
I will miss her. In the space I have
lived with her I enjoyed her company
and now I will sleep alone without her
next to me.
“Take here”Her father hands over a
R100.
“Baba I can't. You need it” she says
“You need it mntanami” she nods.
“Ngiyabonga Gatsheni ( Thank
you)”the taxi comes and she waved
at us before hoping inside.
We wait a bit before walking the
journey back home. It's worrying her
parents that she will be in a different
place all alone. She is their daughter
after all.
“Mama” Sizwe says lifting his hands
up for me to carry him.
I do pick him up and he immediately
lays his head on my shoulder.
“He doesn't want to walk” Kwenkosi’s
mother says.
“He loves it when I carry him” I say
“He is really loving you” I giggle a bit
and look at Sizwe.
I love him too. We get back to the
Ndlovu yards and I go and help out
with the supper cooking.

QAPHILE

“Stay here and be on the look

out”Phuthuma instructs Gatsa
“I will”
We hop out of the taxi and I wear my
black jacket and a cap on. We are
parked at some supermarket. Since I
joined in we have been going in and
out Indian shops but this supermarket
is going to be our biggest one yet.
We have laid off stealing from Zondo
for a while because he is starting to
see that his money doesn't add up
and soon he will catch on that we are
taking his money that being the death
of us.The money is always in
Phuthuma's possession and he
makes sure that it doesn't get out of
his sight. If we succeed here then we
would be able to buy the route we
need and atleast one taxi.
We get to the gate that is Infront of
the store and Zaba takes out his
pocket knife and starts fiddling with
the lock. We keep on looking around
making sure that there is no one in
sight.
“Hurry up Zabanyathi” Nqobimpi
says
He gets done and the lock is on the
floor. We open the gate and unlock
the glass doors before entering the
place. The shop is very big. We take
out our flash lights and flash them
on.
“You two take left we take right”
Phuthuma instructs and we do so.
We walk around looking at the shops
getting lost between the food isle. I
see a hand bag hanging there and it's
black.
“Khethiwe might like this” Nqobimpi
says.
I take the bag and we carry on
walking.
“Found anything?!”
“Not yet!”
We find a closed door and we look at
each other.
Nqobimpi tries to open but it is
locked.
“We found a room!” he shouts.
He tries to open the door but it is not
opening. They come by our side and
Zaba does what he does best.He is
getting good at these door unlocking
things and I wonder where he
learned it. He soon opens and we get
inside. There is a desk and a picture
of the President on the wall. We go
around the room and open the
drawers and Phuthuma finds some
stacks if money. We looks at each
other before he shoves them in his
backpack. We search for more and
Zaba finds a key to a safe. We use it
and open the safe. There is a gun
and also some more money.
“Take it. We don't have time” I go for
the gun and Zaba takes the bag in
my hands and shoves the money
inside.
We finish up and Gatsa bursts into
the door.
“The police are coming”
“Shit! Let's go” we grab the last stack
before rushing out of the store.
We could hear the sirens as we got
into the taxi. Phuthuma throws the
bag at the back and starts it. We hear
gunshots before he drives off. We are
all silent before anyone talks.
“That was close” I say after we are a
distance away.
“Very” Zaba says
“That money should be enough for
now” Phuthuma says.
“Do you think that place has
cameras?”
“I doubt but If there are then they
didn't see who it is as we didn't turn
the lights on” Nqobimpi says
“No one should ever know about this”
Phuthuma says
We all nod. We know and we can't
risk anything here. He drives off to
the hostel. We will count the money
later on for now we need to rest. I
want Khethiwe to visit. I miss her
really.
“I am fetching Khethiwe tomorrow” I
say
“Make sure she is always by your
side” Phuthuma says
“I will”
I relaxed myself on the seat looking
outside the window.

KHETHIWE

It is quiet boring now that

Nokwenkosi is gone. I didn't think I
would really miss her this much but I
really do and have been enjoying her
company. I woke up in the morning
and did my blankets quiet well
cleaning up where I was sleeping.
Dumisani is older than me but he
doesn't want to work in the city. He
believes that he needs to help his
father by looking after the family.
“Your friend is gone shouldn't you be
gone?”It's Sizile.
I ignore her. I wouldn't let her ruin my
morning.
“Even if you keep quiet you heard
what I said” she says
I get done and walk out of the
rondaval. I find the mother dishing up
porridge by the fire. I greeted her and
she greeted back. I asked to help and
I was given permission to do so. I
don't want to sit around when I live
here. They have been nothing but
great to me. We all ate some porrige
and went onto doing our usual duties.
Today Thokozile and Sizile went to
fetch water. They were not happy
with Kwenkosi going yesterday and
even now. I wonder what is really
wrong with those two. The day
progressed and I helped with peeling
the potatoes for the afternoon mean
that we are about to cook.
“Haibo yini leh engiyibonayo(What
am I seeing?)” Kwenkosi ’s mother
says
We both watch as Qaphile makes his
way in.How my heart just jumps
when I see him. He comes in holding
plastics and stands Infront of us. He
greets and we greet back.
“You didn't say you were going to
come back”his mother says.
“I am here to fetch Khethiwe” I look at
him and then his mother.
“Your father is at the garden” he nods
and takes the plastics inside the
rondaval before going to where his
father is.
“Go and bath Khethiwe” His mother
says
“Mah?”
“Go and prepare Incase you are
leaving” his mother says.
I nod and I go and place water to boil.
I have to wait a while.
As the water was done he came back
from his father.
“We are leaving as soon as you are
done” I nod.
I go and bath inside the rondaval and
I get done. I dress up and pack the
bits that I have. I get done and walk
out to throw away the water before
taking my bag to leave. I am going to
Durban and I am so happy to be
doing so. I get to them as they are
talking and he takes my bag before
we bid our goodbyes.
_____
Here we are again. The city once
more. Today I got to see the ocean
as the taxi was passing by and it
intrigued me. If I could I would've
lived here a long time ago. We got off
the taxi rank and he told me that he
wants us to go to his brothers first
before we go to where he lives. I was
ok with that. We got to the taxi rank
and shouted for someone named
Joyce. A lady showed up from tent
and she was wearing an apron.
“Qaphile?"
“Please can I get a set of your food”
he says
“Who is the lady beside you?” she
asks
She has purple eye shadow on and
her brows are drawn and black. She
is very light skinned and beautiful in
my eyes. A true definition of a city
woman.
“My Dali. Khethiwe” he says
“Oh ok” she goes to get the food.
“MaCele!” I look around and it's
Zaba.
He is walking towards us. He gets to
his brother.
“You are here” he says as soon as he
gets to me.
“Yes” I hold onto Qaphile's hand.
“Here is your food” the lady hands it
over.
Qaphile pays her before he takes my
hand and we bid good bye. We go
and eat before we leave the place.
★
I have plumped myself in bed and
took the rest that I needed and woke
up later. Qaphile came in with food
and something to drink. I sat up on
the bed and rubbed my eyes before
looking at him.
“You slept for so long”
“I was tired”I say
He sits down and hands the food to
me and I eat.
“Do you buy food everyday?” I have
to ask
“Sometimes” he says
“Do you cook? Where do you guys
cook?” I ask
“We don't cook. There is no where to
do so” he says
I nod and endulge into my food.We
get down and wash away the food
with the drink before he slides into
bed after Undressing. He puts his
hand on my stomach before kissing
my neck.
“I got you something but I will give it
to you in the morning”
Sponsored
he says
“Don't spend money unnecessarily
Qaphile” I say softly
“I am not” he kisses my neck again.
The lights turn off and his hand
travels under my top.
“There are people here” I say
“We will be quiet Sthandwa sam” he
whispers.
I have never done this with people
around in my life. He keeps on
kissing me before he turns me to lay
on my back and gets on me kissing
my lips and I return the favour
opening my legs so he could fit in
between them.
“I love you MaNdosi” he says
“I love you too”
____
We woke up in the morning when we
heard someone calling for Qaphile.
We were naked and he was holding
me from behind. He groaned before
he let go of my waist and got of the
bed. I watched him pick up his boxers
and his t-shirt before getting dressed
in that and walk out. I sit up rubbing
my eyes then pulling the blanket over
me to cover my nakedness. I get off
the bed slowly and take my clothes
that are scattered on the floor and
dress up before doing the bed. I don't
know what time it is but from the
place lighting up a bit I knew that it
was morning. Qaphile comes back
after a while with food and we ate
together. After we were done he went
to discard the containers while he
goes and checks if there is no one in
the showers. He came back after a
while and told me I could come. I
grab my bag and follow after him
while holding his hand. We get to
those unsanitized bathrooms and I
ask to first go and use the toilet. He
comes with me and watches over me
as I use one and then I am done. We
go to the showers and he adjusts the
water before we undress and bath
together. When we are done we get
out and I get dressed before we
leave and he goes to change. He
gets done. He pulls a black bag on
his shelf and lays it on the bed.
“Qaphile”
“Do you like it?”
“I love it”
I have never owned such a hand bag.
I put it over my shoulder and run my
fingers on my clothes.
“Does it suite me ?” he nods.
I put the bag away.
“Come let's go”He says
We walk out of the hostel and there
are some men sitting there having
some beer and a chat.
“Do you always pass people?” I ask
“I don't want them to be friendly when
you are here” he says
I nod at his statement as we leave.
We walk for some time and get a taxi
going to town. We get to town and I
am excited to just enjoy my day out
here.He wasn't letting go of my hand
as we were walking through the
streets. His phone rang and he took it
out of his pocket and he answered as
we were walking by shops. We stop
and I look through the window just
admiring the clothes. Women here
wear pants and it suits them quiet
well. I one day wish to wear them if
Qaphile is ok with that. He is still on
the phone talking to who ever and I
move away from him and make my
way inside the shop. There were
white people inside and some
African. One white woman smiled my
way and I returned the favour in
waving as well. I grab hold of the red
pants Infront of me and took them off
the railing and held them against my
body.
“Khethiwe” I jump in fright.
I place a hand on my chest before I
place the pants where they were.
“You scared me” I honestly say
“You always give me a fright when
you disappear” he says
“I am sorry” I look down.
“Come” he takes my hand and we
walk out of the shop.
We stroll our way through the city
and he buys some ice cream for me
as it is hot.
“I would like to visit the beach again” I
say.
“Come let's go” we proceed our way
until we reach the beach.
I can say now that I love the
ocean.We saw a man pulling a
carriage with someone on it across
the street.
“You want to go on?” I nod as much
excitement on me.
He chuckles and pulls me towards
the man. We get there and Qaphile
asks how much is the ride to the‘
Risho’. That is what I heard and it is
R25 per ride. He paid and assisted
me on before I was pulled away from
Qaphile. The wind was blowing on
my skin as the sun kissed it. I was
feeling like a child for a moment
there. I was happy. When I got down
I thanked the man and rushed off to
Qaphile. He caught me in his arms.
“Lets go and eat. There is KFC” he
says
I nod. I will be very fat when I go back
to Msinga.
QAPHILE

It's at night and Khethiwe is asleep

under Gatsa’s watch. I didn't want to
leave her alone but I was called
urgently here. We were a bit far from
where the Hostel is just so that no
one could walk out on what we are
talking about.
“We are robbing a bank tomorrow”
what?
“We were almost caught just
yesterday. Aren't we laying low plus
we have enough money to buy the
route” I say
“Yes we do but just like baba always
says indoda ayilali. Iyasebenza (A
man doesn't sleep but work)”
Phuthuma says
“This is a risk” I say
“A risk we should be fully be ready to
take” Says Zaba
“Ok let's say we do this and what are
we going to get in there with? This is
not a movie” I say
“Just like we do our jobs at night we
will do this one as well.”
“We will use that gun you took from
the last cash in” Nqobimpi says
“What about Khethiwe?” I ask
“Gatsa will stay with her.”
“Think about home. You know How
Thokozile and Sizile are. They might
not show it to you but they are
mistreating Khethiwe and she won't
tell you because they are your
sister's. She needs to be gone from
Msinga and you are the only option” I
close my eyes and sigh.
“I will see” I say
I move away from them. This is
getting out of hand a bit but my
motivation is Khethiwe.We came
here to make an honest living and
now we are just surviving life.

KHETHIWE

It's a new day. Qaphile has to go and

work so today I am with Bhuti
Nqobimpi. He said we will go to some
place where they sell food specifically
meat so I am excited. I was done
showering and getting dressed. I took
my small bag with me.
“Qaphile should take you to buy
some pants” he says as I get out.
“Is it appropriate?” I ask
“From what I have heard it's
comfortable and I don't think he
would mind” I smile.I really would
love to wear pants.
“I will ask him”I say
He nods. When we reach town we
get a taxi going to a township area.
We get to a place and we are seated
down. It's actually a store with a
game being played by men and they
are drinking. We get to sit down and
he goes to get us something to eat. I
repeat that I will get home fat than I
am right now. The food somes back
and we are eating.
“Khethiwe you know my brother loves
you very much” he says
“I love him as well” I say
He nods his headay that
“It is just that I am wondering how
long would you tolerate our family” he
puts the food in his mouth and chews
it agressively. I am glad he has his
mouth closed in that manner.
“What do you mean Bhuti?” I ask
“I mean just that” he says
“Do you have a problem with me
being with Qaphile?” I ask
“No don't get it wrong. I am to see my
brother in this manner” I carry on
eating my food.
We are both silent after that.
“Don’t you miss your family?” he
asks
“My father would never accept me
back. I am no use to him since I lost
my virginity to Qaphile” I say
“Things will be ok that's a promise”
he says
I nod and look at him before carrying
on with my eating.
Chapter 11
PART 2
CHAPTER 11
Daily New African Novels Download
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I look at Sizwe who is waving non
stop. He has been crying his lungs
out but he finally stopped. I am heavy
hearted that I am leaving him. I wish I
could take him with me and stay with
him forever but I will make sure to
visit with permission from Bhuti
Phuthuma. He is looking at me while
fisting on his t-shirt as my bags have
been taken away.
“Bye bye Mama” he hasn't stop
calling me that and I don't think he
will.
It has been over 4 years now and he
has never called me Khethiwe or
aunty Khethiwe by mistake. Everyone
has gotten used to how close we
were and how I grew on him. I am
happy that I got to see him start
school. He was so excited just as I
was taking him there everyday and
now I wouldn't take him to school
everyday.
“Come let's go” He says pulling my
arm gently towards the car.
I roughly wipe the tears from my face.
I was happy that I am leaving Msinga
but I am not ready to part with Sizwe
as yet. Nokwenkosi pulls him close to
her as I get inside the car. She has
came back from Nursing school and
now she will work at the community
mobile clinic. She told me she wants
to leave as well and go overseas and
I really hope it works well for her.
The door is shut and I look out of the
window before the car moves. I look
at them fade away from my eyes. I
am heart broken and I wish I could
take them with me. His hand is on my
lap and I look at it before I look at
him.
“It will be ok” he says and I nod.
He sets his eyes on the road and I do
the same sighing.
“You can open that plastic. I bought
something for you” he says
“What is it?”
“Open it” he says
I take it and open inside. There is a
chicken licken box also with chips
and juice as well as biscuits and a
packet of sweets.
“Thank you Gatsheni” he smiles.
I place the plastic away and I play
with my wrists a bit before I look at
him.
“Thank you for still loving me after
everything” I look away
“We have no control over what
happened Khethiwe. We will have a
child when it's benefitial for us to
have one” he says and I nod.
He has grown and so have I. I still get
mesmerized at how handsome he
becomes even the way he dresses
has more style and effort. I
sometimes don't believe that for the 6
years I have known him and the 4 we
have been together he still loves me
as much as I love him.
★
We reach a new place. It is not the
Hostel anymore. No it's a house in
the township. There is a taxi parked
in the yard. Qaphile and his brothers
really worked hard to obtain what
they have now. They have 6 taxi’s
over the years and things have been
better back at their home. They even
started building a house for their
father back home and two cows a
few chickens and they want to
expand the cattle for their father.
He parks the car behind the taxi and
we get out of the car. I look around
the place and the neighbours are so
close.
“Come” I rush over to his side and he
locks the car before we go to the
house.
“This is your house. You can do
whatever you like Sthandwa sami” he
says immediately after opening the
door.
There isn't any furniture but I love it.
It's a 5 room house. With taps inside
meaning I don't have to go and fetch
water from the river anymore. I walk
in each and every room and there is
a bathtub than a shower. I look at
Qaphile. Atleast one room has a
bed.
“Do you love it?”
I wrap my arms around him and give
him a kiss.
“I love it so much Gatsheni” I say
“I am happy that you do. We will buy
all that you need for this house
tomorrow” he says
“Ok” I say
I can't believe I will live here.
“I am coming back right now” I nod as
he leaves. I keep myself busy with
looking around the house once
more.
_____
We are up and about the next
morning. Qaphile told me to wake up
as we are going to get things to make
this house less empty. I am excited
about the journey ahead and I
couldn't wait for it. I was done with
preparing myself and he was
changing as well. There was a knock
on the door and I was a bit hesitant to
open but Qaphile is here so it would
be safe. I went to open and it was
Zaba.
“Hello Sisi Khethiwe” he says
“Hello” I make way for him.
He depends on his moods whether to
call me KhethiweSisi Khethiwe or
MaCele.
“Who is that?” it's Qaphile
“I came to fetch the taxi” Zaba says.
After some time Qaphile appears and
he throws keys to Zaba who catches
them.
“Thank you. Enjoy your day
Khethiwe” he says
“You too” he walks out and I notice a
gun on his left side tucked in his
pants.
“Lets go” Qaphile says.
“Why does Zaba have a gun?” I ask
Qaphile.
“Its for Protection Sthandwa Sami.
Let's go” he grabs my hand before I
could shoot another question.
What protection is Qaphile talking
about? Are they in some sort of
danger of some sort? I don't
understand at all. I keep my silence
on what I wanted to ask and just let it
go. They know what they are doing
but I have never imagined Zaba with
a gun. We get to town and we start
with furniture shopping. I am having a
great time and Qaphile says I can
take anything I like. I do as I am
permitted and by the time we are
done I am content with what we
have. The delivery truck leaves and
he calls one of his brothers to go and
moniter everything while we go and
buy groceries. His phone rings and
he rejects it.
“I think we should buy you a phone
as well”he says
“It is too much Gatsheni” I say
“It is not. Then tomorrow we will take
you to buy clothes as well” he says
I keep my silence
“What is wrong?” he asks with a
frown.
I look at him and sigh
“I don't want you wasting money on
me.”
“I am never wasting money on you. It
makes me happy to take you around
and get what you want Dali wami.” I
smile
“Is this enough?” he asks pointing
inside the trolley.
“Yes it is” he nods.
We go to the till point and he pays
up. His phone rings again and he
takes it out of his pocket and places it
back inside. We leave the
supermarket and everything gets
loaded in the car.

QAPHILE

Khethiwe has been moving around

the house placing things where she
thinks they would be fitting. She was
also cooking by the stove as well for
supper. I took my phone after
changing and went past by her in the
kitchen.
“I am going for a smoke” she turns to
me and smiles
“Ok” oGatsheni know how much I
love this woman.
I move outside and take out a
cigarette and lighter then light it up
before taking a few puffs in and out
and then I make a call. It goes
through quicker than. I anticipated.
“Qaphile I need money” that's the first
thing I hear
I take a puff .
“How much?” I ask
“R600”
“Ok. How is everything going.?”
“It's not getting any better” I sigh and
scratch my head.
“I will see what I can do”
“Please do. I hate this” I nod before
hanging up.
I sigh and look up at the stars for a
while the finish smoking before
making my way inside the house.
“The house looks ok now don't you
think?” she asks with hands on her
hips.
“It feels warm”
Sponsored
I say
“Its the food on the stove” she giggles
lightly.
I go to her and hold her waist.
“I am happy you are here with me” I
kiss her neck.
“Me too” she turns around and looks
at me with a smile.
”I am done cooking. Should I dish
up?”I nod.
She moves away from me and goes
to the kitchen

KHETHIWE
I am enjoying my time in Durban
really. It is my third day since I have
moved here and Qaphile went off to
work. He gave me some money to go
and buy what I like so Bhuti Nqobimpi
will be the one who will take me to go
and buy those things. I was cleaning
around the house before I went to
take a bath. I am loving this system
of fast hot water. I get done and I go
and get dressed. I will also go and
get a phone as well. I finished up and
made my way to make something to
eat while I wait. A knock comes from
the door and I go and open.
“MaCele. How are you?” Nqobimpi
asks.
“I am well and yourself?”
“I am good. Are you ready?” I nod.
“Let me get my bag” he nods.
I go and take the bag Qaphile bought
for me some years ago. I still have
kept it well over the years. I take the
money as well and then leave locking
the door. I see a car parked Infront of
the gate as we walk out of it. I lock
the gate as well and we make our
way to the car.
“There is someone else in the car.
Can we drop her off before we go?”
he says
“Its fine we can” I really don't mind
and I am not rushing anywhere.
The day is still long and it wouldn't be
over that quickly. I get in the car and I
greet the lady who is sitting at the
front. My heart races as I see her
bump.
“Khethiwe is greeting” Nqobimpi says
as he gets in.
“Cela ungangicasuli Nqobi
please(Don't irritate me )” he
clenches his jaw and starts the car.
I keep my silence as the car moves.
“So you go around and take other
girls to shops but you can't for me ?”
the lady speaks.
“I did nje. You think the clothes you
are wearing just came from the sky?”
she clicks her tongue.
“You know I hate that and your
attitude is always in the way of me
doing things right” the lady folds her
arms.
“I can't wait to give birth.” she says
He keeps quiet. So he impregnated
her? I didn't see this one coming.
“Your family hasn't even come to pay
for damages. My father is waiting”
The lady says
“They will come” he says
We enter a road and his car slows
down.
“When?”
“Next weekend”
“They better” she opened the door as
the car stopped and got out with
plastics before closing the door.
Nqobimpi laid on the seat and
sighed.I looked out of the window
after that.
______
I have gotten the phone and now I
was shopping some clothes at
Edgar's after I was in Truworth. I am
enjoying this and Nqobimpi keeps on
giving money ontop of all the money
Qaphile handed over to me.
“You want to buy those pants?”
Nqobimpi asks after he seated
himself down and was busy with
calls.
“I don't know if Qaphile would be
comfortable with me wearing them” I
say
He takes his phone out and makes a
call.
“Qaphile we are here at Edgar's with
Khethiwe” Nqobimpi says with a bit of
a frown on his face.
“She wants to buy pants kodwa
uyakusaba angazi usabani lah
kuwe(But she is scared and I don't
know why)” he chuckles and hands
over the phone to me.
“Hello”I answer.
“Get anything you want Sthandwa
sami” he says
“Really?” I ask
“Yes anything that makes you happy”
he says
“Ngiyabonga( Thank you)”
“I will see you at home. Don't cook. ”
“Ok”
“I love you ” he says
“I love you too” I shy away from his
brother.
I hand the phone over thanking him
and go straight to the ‘Jeans’ Infront
of me. I take about 5 pairs of jeans
before I find it enough.
“Is that enough?” He asks and i nod.
“Lets go and pay” we go to the till
point at pay up for all the clothes
before we go and eat.
I am hungry and going to buy clothes
with Nqobimpi is nice. It is not weird
but he isn't as fun as Zaba is. Zaba is
a ball of energy and always loves
putting someone on the edge. I
wondered if Nqobimpi had a gun as
well but I can't see it anywhere
around him which means he doesn't.
We are now seated with food Infront
of us and plastics on a chair just next
to us.
“You are having a baby?” I ask
He looks at me for a while. I think I
am regretting it a bit.
“Yes” he answers.
I just nod my head and proceed
eating.
“I am not marrying the mother if that
is what you think” I look at him
“Why?”
“She lacks respect.” the disgust in his
voice cannot be missed.
“But don't you love her?” I ask
“No. It was a mistake” he says then
releases a sigh.
“I am not perfect Khethiwe but I
would never abounden my child.” he
says with a bit of a smile on his face.
“I know” I say and take a bite off my
food.
He carries on eating his food there
after.
Chapter 12
CHAPTER 12

Bead work. It is one of the things I

love doing very much. It takes time to
perfect it but it is what I love. I am
really glad that my grandmother
taught this skill to me at a young age.
I wouldn't be able to be in my own
happy space by not doing it. I am
seated outside on the grass mat after
doing some cleaning and also
cooking just in case Qaphile decides
to come back early. This place is
noisy and not as peaceful as back
home but I love it here. It has Qaphile
in it. My phone rings and I take it from
my bead bag and answer it.
“Hello” I answer.
“Haah awusangishayeli ucingo sisi
Mase uhlala edolobheni(You don't
call me when you live in the city)”I
laugh lightly.
“Kwenkosi?"
“Yes Ah I had to get your number
from Bhuti” she says
“I am sorry. I am still getting used to
staying here” I say
“Are you happy? You don't miss me
and Sizwe?" She sulks
“I miss you and Sizwe. How is he?”
she sighs.
“He calls for you alot. Wait a bit” she
says.
I wait a bit before I hear her speaking
again.
“Here is Mama Sizwe talk”
“Mama” my heart warms and wish he
was in my arms at this moment.
“How are you my boy?” I hear him
fumble a bit.
“Talk Sizwe” I giggle at Kwenkosi’s
frustration.
“Mama buya(come back)” I hear his
voice breaking.
“When school closes I will come ok?”
I say
He is silent for a moment.
“Uyakuthanda umama(Mama loves
you)”
“I love you too" it is silent again
“I will call you later. He is crying” my
heart pains.
“Ok.” I say before she hangs up.
I close my eyes for a while before I
sigh and carry on with my bead work.
When it was getting a bit breezy I
went inside the house and placed my
things away. I took my phone and
called Qaphile.
“Khethiwe are you ok?”he answers in
panic.
“I am fine.” I say
“Are you sure?”
“Yes I am. I just miss Sizwe” I say
“Uhm I will talk to Phuthuma about
him coming here this weekend” he
says
“Yes anything for you.” I smile.
“Sthandwa sami”he says.
“Yes?”
He sighs.
“No woman has shown me love
despite who I am and was. No one
saw what you are seeing in me and I
am thankful and love you so much for
that. No matter what we will stick
together and I will keep my promises
know that” he says
“I know.I love you Gatsheni and no
one else” I say
“I am happy to hear that. Do you
want me to come home early?” he
asks.
“Finish work. You will find me where
you left me” I say
“Ok. Let me rush then ” we end the
call.
____
I was woken up by shuffling and then
a kiss on my neck and a smell if
nicotine accompanied it as well. I
open my eyes and it's dark outside.
He wraps his arm around me and
pulls me close to him.
“Sthandwa sami” he says
“What time is it?” I ask
“It’s late. I am sorry I came back late”
he says
“You are ok that's all” I give him a
hug.
“Can I dish up for you?”
“No
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I ate at the taxi rank” he says
I nod my head and lay on his chest.
“I spoke to Phuthuma” he yawned.
“What did he say?”
“You will see Sizwe this weekend”
“Really?”
“Yes ” he yawns again
I let him be.
“Lets sleep”I say
He is silent after that. I keep mine as
well staring into the dark. Wondering
if nginesinyama or what?(If I have a
dark cloud).All I ever want to do is
make him a man one day and make
him as happy as he makes me. I
knew I wouldn't love Wandile as
much as I love Qaphile.
★
Morning. It's already creeping in and
soon enough the sun will be out.
Qaphile was bathing as I prepared
porridge for him on the stove so he
would leave when he has eaten. As I
am done he pops out of the bedroom
and comes to the kitchen.
“I made some food” I say
“Thank you”his phone rings and he
motions that he wants his porridge
with only sugar and I nod.
He grabs the set of keys and walks
out of the house. I turn off the stove
and place everything for him on the
trey. He comes back and sits himself
on the couch and I serve his food. He
doesn't wait long for it to cool but
gobbles the hot substance. He gets
done in time and I take everything
away.
“I have to rush” he says and takes
out a plastic money bag that has
money in it and counts a few before
he hands it over to me.
“Thank you” he kisses me then
leaves. I close the door and clean up
first before going to rest a bit.
The sun has risen and I am done with
my house chores. They are not alot
at all. I take the money that Qaphile
gave to me and I think maybe I might
find a shop here. I get out locking
before I am on the street. People are
up and down and kids are playing all
together. They remind me of the now
grown siblings of Qaphile's. I stop by
the children and ask one of them
where the shop is and one offers to
accompany me there. I have always
wished I had siblings. As old as I am
but I really wished I had them and I
wasn't alone. We got to the shops
and I bought biscuits and so e sweets
for the kids before thanking her and
we both left. As the kids were playing
a red car came to a hault Infront of
them and a child was grabbed before
shoved inside by men before it drives
off.
The rest scattered and I was frozen
into place.
“Mama bayamthatha !(Mom they are
taking her!)” the cry of the boy rings
in my ear before I start moving my
legs as quickly as possible until I get
home.
I sit myself on the couch and I sigh.
The sound of my ringing phone
frightens me and I go and take
it.Nokwenkosi didn't call again last
night.
“He...Hello” I say
“Sthandwa Sami what is wrong?”
tears stream down my cheeks as I
am shaking.
“Its ok. I am ok...I”I try wiping my
tears vigorously.
“Khethiwe” I hang up and place the
phone on my lap.
Oh my god I hope they find that child.
If I just tried to help maybe she would
be ok. I went to out away the things I
bought before heading to bed to
sleep for a while.
**
Kids screaming and scattering all
around. She is screaming but I can't
hear anything. I see her trying to figt
but they are dominating her.
“Mama bayamthatha!(Mom they are
taking her!)”
**
I open my eyes and breathe in and
out heavily.
“Calm down” he is next to me as I am
trying to get my breathing to normal.
“You worried me”
“I am fine. You•••You should be at
work” I say
“I couldn't when I didn't know how
you are” I look at him.
“I just need to rest” he is unsure as I
pull the pillow and try to close my
eyes again.

QAPHILE

I couldn't leave Khethiwe for a

moment. I looked at her sweating as
she rests and wondering what is
bothering her. She was fine when I
left and now I don't know what
happened. I stay in the bedroom for a
while before I stand up and go to the
lounge. They stand up and look at
me.
“She won't tell me”
“A child was abducted just a few
hours ago” Gatsa says
“I am worried” I say sitting down.
“What is bothering Khethiwe should
be least of your worries right
now.”Phuthuma says with a frown on
his face.
I look down.
“I know” I say

KHETHIWE
It's the weekend. Sizwe was coming
in today and I am happy that he is
coming. I can't wait to enjoy and
spend my time with him. I hear the
car sound from outside and I peak
through the curtain. I wipe my hands
before taking off the apron and a
knock comes from the door. I go and
attend it before he falls into my arms
as heavy as he is.
“Mama!” I hold him tightly.
I look at Phuthuma.
“Thank you”I say
I out Sizwe down.
“Can we talk?” Phuthuma says
I nod and hold Sizwe's hand.
“Come and let me show you your
room” he seems excited.
I dragged him to the bedroom and he
looks mesmerized.
“Go in” he does while I go and attend
his father.
I sit down opposite him and he sighs
playing with the car keys.
“I don't know how I would thank you
for taking up on such a responsibility
of loving and being a mother figure to
Sizwe. ” he says
“He is an amazing child” I say
“Keep your heart pure MaNdosi.
Always” he says
“I will Bhuti” he faintly smiles before
standing up.
“I will see him later” I nod as he
stands up and walks out.
“Mama!” I look at Sizwe before going
to him and pull him to the kitchen to
get food.

.
.

I know its short and I am sorry

Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
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Who doesn't love Saturdays? I used
to love them very much while I was
still in school mainly because I had
no school that day and Sunday was
just a weekend sucker reminding you
that tomorrow kuyavukwa. You are
going to school sisi. Even now I still
enjoy my Saturday when they are
well spent. I was with Sizwe at the
beach. I love this place the most and
we got some swim wear and we are
going to get to the water with the
watch of Qaphile and his brothers. I
wrapped a shoal around my waist as
I placed my bag on the sand when
we reached the shore. I wiped
Sizwe's face from all the ice cream
that is on his face. I took out the
camera from my bag.
“Come and stand here Sizwe then
smile for Mama” I tell him.
He does just that and he smiles as I
take a picture.
“Are you even taking a good picture
MaCele?” Zaba jokes and they laugh
with his brothers.
“Yes see” I take a picture of them.
“I am not for pictures Khethiwe”
Nqobimpi quickly says
“So am I” Qaphile says
“But you would love taking them if
Khethiwe likes it” Phuthuma says
They chuckles amoungst themselves.
Zaba comes towards me taking the
camera.
“Come let me take a photo of you
two” he says pushing me towards
Qaphile.
I stand next to him. I have never
really took pictures before. A camera
was something scarce back home.
Zaba takes a photo.
“Now pose Khethiwe” Zaba says.
“Like the city girls?”
“Yes like the city girls. Better yet like
Qaphile's woman” he says
I laugh at that and we get done with s
few. I ask to take one with Sizwe by
the ocean and he does. I take Sizwe
with me and we go towards the
water.
“Don’t go any further” Qaphile says.
I am just enjoying the water as it
splashes on my legs and half of
Sizwe's body. I would lift him up with
his hands if the waves come stronger
for him to with stand. I was enjoying.
We became tired and Sizwe was
hungry. We went over to his fathers
who were standing while looking at
us. Qaphile was on his phone while
speaking to someone and it sounded
serious.
“Baba I am hungry” Sizwe rushes to
his father.
“Lets go and get some food for you”
he says picking his heavy self up.
“I have to rush. It's bad” Qaphile says
after the call.
His brothers keep quiet after that.
“Is everything ok?” I am now worried.
I get closer to him and place my
hands on his shoulders.
“I am sorry Khethiwe” that's all he
said to me.
_____
We have been stuck here at the
waiting area in the hospital. Doctors
and nurses passing by us as we are
waiting. I am sure Nokwenkosi is
most excited about being hands on
now in her job. I had to change and
feel comfortable while we are waiting
as we rushed here. No one was
talking to anyone at this point but we
were all silent. A nurse approaches
us and she had a file in her hand.
“You are invited into the ward. We
are done with taking test samples”
the nurse says before we walks
away.
We are still seated on the chair and I
don't know where Qaphile
disappeared off too. Phuthuma sighs
and stands up with Sizwe and pulls
him away as they walk through the
hospital corridors. They all stand up
and I look at them before standing up
and following after them. They enter
a room and I follow as well. I see that
woman from the taxi rank again.
What is her name again? Yes Joyce.
The beautiful make up woman I once
saw. She is crying in Qaphile's arms
who is comforting her. I look around
the room and see a girl child on the
bed with wondering eyes. Doesn't
she have family and why did we rush
here?
“This is beyond medical Power
Qaphile and you know it. It's time to
face the music and do imbeleko for
ingane(the child)!” Phuthuma says
angrily.
A child? Imbeleko? What child?
“He is right Qaphile. Our child has
been sick for far too long and I won't
loose her!”Joyce says
Qaphile looks down and looks my
way. I feel tears on my cheeks and I
agressively wipe them away feeling a
lump on my throat. I turned around
and made my way out. I needed the
bathroom and I don't know why but I
am feeling a burning sensation
coming from my chest. I am heart
broken. She gave him a child. She
gave him something I failed to give to
him twice!. I don't make it far before I
seat myself on a bench and I cry my
lungs out. I couldn't hold it in
anymore. He loves her and feels
sorry for poor Khethiwe!
“Dali wami Ngiyaxolisa (I am sorry)”
he embraces me as I am crying.
I have never felt so much pain even
when I lost my children I have never
felt it. It feels like a stab of a
thousand daggers in one place
constantly. Disappointment
dominated everything else. I was in
pain but much disappointed about the
situation.

I have stopped crying and Qaphile

hasn't moved away from me.Joyce
was perstering for Qaphile to put his
attention on his daughter until the
brothers took her away. I am still on
the same bench in the same position
with the same feeling just different
time frame.
“Khethiwe look at me please” Qaphile
begs.
“I am sorry
Sponsored
Qaphile begs.
“I am sorry it was one mistake and it
never happened again after that day.
I love you Khethiwe and no other
woman.”
“I love you Khethiwe and I made my
promise to marry you one day and I
will because you are everything to
me” I look down.
“Please look at me ” he holds my
face and I look at his glistening eyes
as he swallows as well.
“Ngiyakuthanda MaCele Ngenhliziyo
yami yonke. Ayidle ishiyele Sthandwa
Sami ngiswela amagama okusho
ukuthi ngikuthanda kangakanani(I
love you MaCele. With my whole
heart. I am sorry my love I loose
words to describe how much I love
you)” he says
He wraps his arms around me and I
just break down all over again.
“I am sorry”
____
It's the following day. Sleep can't take
the pain that you are feeling but it
makes you forget the world for a
while and focus on other things else
or nothingst all. I woke up early
today. I couldn't sleep at all or even
catch a peaceful sleep. I left Qaphile
in bed. Sizwe was taken by his father
yesterday. I was excited about this
weekend and I didn't think it would
end up this way. I went on cleaning
and did some cooking to get my mind
off things before I sat myself in the
next room on the bed with an open
window doing my beads slowly
making sure I am perfecting the
outcome of the Jewel. I wish I was by
the ocean hearing the waves and
seeing people being happy over
water. I smile at that. At how Sizwe
and I were happy to go to the beach
yesterday. He was really extatic. I
sigh before stopping for a moment
and carrying on with what I am
doing.
“Sawubona(Hello)”
I stop beading lifting my head up
facing the window.
“Yebo” my voice responds softly.
“How are you?”
I didn't sleep.I was trying to get rid of
something that I am still feeling even
now.
“I am fine. How are you?” I ask while
starringst the white lace curtain. I
hear him heave a sigh.
“Khethiwe please talk to me ” I turn to
him.
“I am ”
“I hurt you I know and it pains me to
see you like this and it's all my fault.
Please Sthandwa Sami say
something” he says
“That was Yesterday. Today is a new
day” I say and turn back to what I am
doing.
“I will keep on saying sorry and
proving how sorry I am MaCele”
“Do imbeleko for your child Qaphile.
There is nothing stopping you after all
I am not your wife” I carry on.
“Don’t say that Khethiwe” He says
It was better being with his sister's
than now.
“I will give you space” he says and
goes out. I stop beading and gather
my things. I take my phone and make
a call.
“Hi. I hope I am not interrupting you” I
say
“No you are not” He says
“Can you take me to town. I want to
buy some clothes with the money
that's left” I say
“Uhm ok. I will be there” He says and
I hang up.
I get out of the spare room and go
and take a refuse bag before going to
the bedroom. I look for scissors and
take my clothes. He looks at me as I
do so.
“Are you leaving?” I look at him. I
take his as well and put them inside.
“No”
“Why are you taking our clothes?”
“I will put them back I just want to
clean Qaphile”he keeps quiet.
I take the refuse bag and drag it to
the bathroom and put them all in the
bath tub. I take the scissors and start
with cutting all of the clothes one by
one until they are all in shreds. I get
done and I go and take some
parrafine and matches before I go to
the bathroom and I pour some
parrafine on the clothes before I light
it up and I sit down on the floor
watching our clothes wind up in
flames. I pulled my legs together as I
watched. I took the scissors and
looked at them.
“What is burning?”
Nqobimpi opens the door and quickly
pulls me out as Qaphile rushes to
take the fire out.
“Are you ok?”
I smile
“I am. We can go” I say
He looks at me for a while before he
nods. Qaphile comes out of the
bathroom. I look at him before I go
and take my bag before we leave
with Nqobimpi.
____
I went to the salon and they did a dry
perm on my hair after relaxing it.
Then after that we went to buy
clothes and mostly mini skirts silked
dresses and also shorts with lots of
pants. I even got my first pair of heels
from Nqobimpi’s advice. I even got
make up and the lady at the store
was kind enough to show me how to
use it and put a small amount since I
am new but for now I enjoyed the
shopping and I don't want to think of
the events of yesterday.
Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14

I was sitting outside on my own being

an outlier an out cast in a place that I
have lived in for 4 years. I understand
that per traditions I am not supposed
to enter emsamu of this house unless
I am a wife here and that is why we
are here. To try and heal Qaphile's
child. I don't think I hate him or his
child. I just don't know where I really
am in his life. He gives me the
reassurance that we are still together
like it is only the two of us when it is
not anymore. Joyce is involved as
well in this equation.
“Khethiwe sesiqedile(We are done)”
Kwenkosi calls upon me.
I look at her and stand up from where
I am and she comes towards me.
“We are still friends right?” I smile
and nod.
“Yes we are” I say
“I am sorry and Nalo Joyce wakhona
engathi oSizile ( And this Joyce is
just like Sizile )” she says with disgust
clicking her tongue in the process.
“I love him.” she looks at me.
I walk to the window and I stand
there.
“I love him Nokwenkosi. As much as I
wish I•••I wish our children survived
and we had our own little family like
he promised but I guess promises
are broken” I say
“Don’t say that Khethiwe you are
hurting and it's not good. Stab him if
you want to do it!” she says
I turn to her and gasp.
“Nokwenkosi that is your brother”
“I don't care” she wets her face with
tears and comes rushing towards me
and hugs me.
“Oh your poor pure heart Khethiwe.”
I wrap my arms around her. There is
a knock on the bedroom door and it's
Qaphile's mother.
“Is everything ok?” we break the hug
and Kwenkosi wiped her tears.
“I hate your son mah engathi
angayofa and uKhethiwe athole
umuntu ongcono kunaye nx(I wish he
could die and Khethiwe finds
someone better than him”
“Nokwenkosi that's enough! You
don't say bad things about other
people” I say
“Khethiwe•••”
“No it's enough. It's ok. I have moved
on and there is nothing I could
change” she looks at me.
“But•••” I shake my head and she
walks out of the room.
“I commend your bravery Khethiwe”
Qaphile's mother says.
I look at her before nodding.
“You are part of this family and that
will never change right?”
“Yes it won't. There are challenges in
life that we have to just overcome” I
smile.
“Go and talk to him” she is referring
to Qaphile.
I haven't talked to him since the fire
incident. I slept in a separate room
and cried for a whole week before I
felt like I was ok and ready to move
on. Forgiveness is one thing I am
weak on and will always be.
“Ok”we walk out of the bedroom.
Thokozile and her newly found sister
in law are having a great chat at that
tip. Qaphile's mother disappeared
somewhere in the house. I walk past
them and go to the outside searching
for Qaphile and I get to the kraal
where they are standing outside it
only his father is inside with the two
cows.
“Not anyone is allowed here Bafana
bami” his father says
“We herded before”Zaba defends.
“Sanibonani” they turn to me.
“MaCele” I look at Qaphile.
“I will be back”he says before coming
towards me.
We walk away from the kraal and his
family members that were there. We
were walking in silence. I heave a
heavy sigh before I intertwined my
hand into his and he holds it back
firmly as well then raises out hands to
kiss the back of mine.
“I am sorry for causing you pain”he
says.I keep my silence before he
sighs. We get into the rondaval and I
go and seat myself down.
“I just want the truth” he nods and
comes to kneel Infront of me.
“I will give you anything Sthandwa
sami” he holds my hands and kisses
them.
“Do you love Joyce?”
“No I love you”
“What happened?” I ask.
I really want to know. He sighs
“I sometimes took Joyce home when
I bought her food late and it was just
that one night Sthandwa Sami. I
promise you.”
“You broke your promise Qaphile.
You said we would have children
together not with me and other
people. Is it because that I have been
failing to bring a living person on this
earth•••I am sorry” I say softly.
“Khethiwe I don't want you to think
that like that” he swallows looking at
me.
I heave a sigh.
“Will you marry her?” he places his
hand on my cheek.
“You are the only person that I would
marry”he says with a smile in his
face.
“Ok” I nod and we hug each other.
“I love you so much Khethiwe”
“I love you too”
★
The goat was slaughtered after
everything was done and the child
was introduced to the ancestors.I
was sitting with Sizwe and Nokuthula.
She has grown very much now and is
a very bubbly child compared to
Sizwe. His father says I smother him
too much that is why he is always
attached to me but I like it.
“Mama is Thula going to come next
time I visit you?” Sizwe asks while
leaning on me.
“Sure
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Come let's go and eat” I say
We leave the rondaval and go inside
the main house. When I look at that
child you can't deny it. It is really
Qaphile's child.
“Oh Khethiwe dish up there is food”
Qaphile's mother says
I nod as she walks away with a plate.
I dish up for Nokuthula and Sizwe.
“Mama ” Sizwe pats me.
“Yes?” Joyce walks in the kitchen
with her daughter.
She is 3 years old. The daughter that
is.
“Can I have more meat?" I nod. I dish
up the way he wants it. I give him his
food and so as Nokuthula.
“You should stop mothering other
people's children and actually have
your own” Joyce says
She places her daughter on the floor
before she dishes up food.
“You should stop giving babies to
other people's men and get your own
sathane ndini” Nokwenkosi says as
she enters.
“What is going on?” It's Bhuti
Dumisani.
We all stand there in silence.
“I am speaking”
“Its this one. She bothers Khethiwe”
Nokwenkosi says
“I didn't do anything” Joyce says
innocently.
“You two stop the bickering. I could
hear you and wena akukona kini lah
noma ucabanga ukuthi uzoshadela
layikhaya.Ubeke haze yacaca
uQaphile ukuthi Angeke akwenze
lokho sithembe siyezwana (And you
this is not your home and don't think
you are going to marry into this
family. It was made clear by Qaphile
that he won't do that so I hope you
hear me)” Joyce nods
“Yes”
He looks at each and every one of us
before walking out. I had forgotten
that there are children here.
“Come let's go” I say to them and
they all follow each other out.
I don't know how to handle Joyce.
She is very rude and to think I
thought she was nice.Yes I met her
once every now and then but I never
thought she was like this.
____
We are back in Durban and the buzz
is still there. I get to wear the clothes
that I have now freely while around
the house. I haven't been out going
anywhere since that day but today I
am determined to leave and go to
town without getting any lost. I
cleaned the house before I bathed
and changed. I wore shorts with a
white top and shoes. I looked
youthful and mostly like the people
around here in the city. I put on my
red lipstick and took my bag before
leaving then. I had made sure that
my camera is always in my bag just
Incase anything. I walked to the taxi
stop and luckily a taxi came by
quicker than I had anticipated. I
jumped inside and greeted the
people in there before it moves.
“Aw kodwa ngo Makhelwane
elahlekelwe ingane yakhe(Her only
child)” the woman says
“Its painful.It would've been better if
the child was still alive.”The women
beside me says.
“What has been of the world” there is
silence there after.

When we got to town I walked all

alone holding tightly on my bag as I
am walking. I see a lady who is
seated on the side road selling
traditional attires. I go to her.
“Can I see?” I point at the bead work
and she nods.
I look at it thoroughly before looking
up to her.
“They are very beautiful” she smiles.
I take out my camera and take a
picture of them before I wave my
good bye. I keep on walking and I
stopped one lady and asked her to
take a picture of me using my camera
and she agreed. I thanked her after
she was done and continued with my
journey. My phone rang as I was still
on the road and I answered it.
“Hello”
“How are you?”
“I am good. I am in town” I say with
much excitement.
“Where in town?” I look around.
“I see some buildings. It's not any of
the places I have been too” I see a
man pushing a cart and I rush to him
across the road.
“Do you know how to go back?” he
asks.
“No really sure but I will ask when I
want to leave”
“Please find out the street you are
on” he says
“Ok I will”
I get to the man.
“What are you selling?”
“Popsicle” he says.
“Can I have one?” he nods as I take
out my money and pay up.
I thank him after and leave still
exploring the city and I ended up at
KFC. I went to get some food and sat
myself down to eat. My phone rang
again and I took it out and answered
it.
“Hello” I answer.
“I am worried that you are lost
somewhere Sthandwa sami” he says
“I am not lost. I am at KFC in town.
Awu Qaphile I am ok” I giggle.
“I am not ok” he says
“If you can you can come”
“I am coming” he hangs up.
I carry on eating. I am enjoying the
food that I ordered more of it and ate
again. When I was done Qaphile
entered the franchise. He looked
around at first then came to me
straight. I stood up and threw myself
in his arms.
“You see I am not lost” I say
“You are beautiful” That's the first
time I hear him say that.
“Thank you”
I take my bag and we walk out
holding hands. We go to the car and
hop inside. I take out my camera.
“You love it?”
“Yes. I have been using it all day” I
say
He kisses me and I return it as well.
“I am happy to see you happy”
“You make me happy” he starts the
car and drives off.
Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
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The neighbours were going in
numbers to the house of that child
that died. I haven't heard anything but
I also wanted to send my
condolences to the family. I dressed
well and wrapped a doek on my head
before leaving the house. There were
two cars parked outside and I could
hear church women singing. I am not
one for church and I have never
really been to church to say anything
but I know there is a higher power
above our ancestors of which they
say is God. I didn't know if I should
turn back. I stand there for a while
before a lady comes putting a shoal
over her shoulder's.
“Sawubona sisi(Hello)” she says
I greet back .
“I have never seen you here before”
She says.
“I just recently moved. I heard about"
she sighs.
“Eyi my sister is not coping at all.
Come inside” she pulls me inside the
yard and I stand by the door one
inside.
The woman is crying her lungs out. I
felt her pain as she was crying for her
daughter. I didn't know what to do.
Her child was playing on the street
with other children and now she is no
more. I stayed there for a while
before offerings were done and I left
after that. I quickly rushed home and
when I got there I sat down on the
couch. Atleast those men who took
that child were found but she wasn't
found alive. I heard that she was
found in some but there with other
parts of children. They were about to
do something with her body that I
have concluded. I go to the bedroom
and take my bead work before I start
working on it. I find myself thinking of
Qaphile's child. Is she safe wherever
she is? I quicky took my phone and
made a call. It got answered quickly.
“Dali wami”
“Have you checked how your
daughter is?” I ask with concern.
“I haven't talked to Joyce since
imbeleko” he says.
“Haibo Qaphile! You should check up
on your child more often to make
sure she is safe” I say
“Sthandwa Sami is everything
alright?” I sigh.
“I am just worried. You remember
that child that was reported missing?”
“I do. I know the story and after
everything I don't want to talk to
Joyce behind your back engathi
siyathandana(Like we are dating)”he
says with much disgust and sighs.
“Oh I see. We can call when you
come back” I say
“Khethiwe we don't have to do this. If
the child needs anything her mother
will say” he says
“Qaphile please” I beg. He sighs
“Ok.” we speak for a while before I
hang up the call.
____
I am with Nqobimpi’s woman per say.
She is a very grumpy person but
Nqobimpi said she hasn't been this
worse before. She is close to her due
date of giving birth and you can just
tell that she didn't plan to have a child
at all. Nqobimpi asked me to
accompany her to get some last-
minute things for the child. She isn't
interested in it as I am. I am quiet
excited for her really and Sizwe
having his first cousin that he could
play with either than Nokuthula.
“This looks nice” I pick up a romper
and she grabs it and places it back.
“Its a boy Khethiwe” she says.
I nod and look for things that could fit
a boy.
“Sisi why are you not excited?" She
looks at me.
“Unlike you Khethiwe I have school
and I didn't plan for this. Even my
boyfriend dumped me” she says
“Don’t you love Bhuti Nqobi?” I look
at her and she takes what she likes
and shoves it in the basket that is in
my hands.
“That one was supposed to be an
experiment. You know I think I fell for
him somewhere. Unempatho yena(
He treats me well)” she says and
shakes her head.
“You wouldn't understand. You are
head over heals in love with his
brother” she says and I Smile.
“I have known him for years”
“So you don't love him but know
him?”
“I do love Qaphile sisi. He is the
person I chose and he loves me too”
she claps her hands and sighs.
“Uthando lwase mafarm Jesu (Village
love)” she says.
“We should get blankets for the child
as well” I say
“Nqobimbi’s mother should be the
one shopping as she will take care of
this child” she says
“I want some chicken licken” she
says licking her lips.
“We will go when we are done” she
nods.
“I need to sit down. My legs are
swelling badly again” she says in a
bit of pain. I nod there after.
We get everything she wants and we
are done. I help her here and there
also buying new white towels and
PVC waterproofs as the child will use
towels we go and pay.
“Plesse call Nqobimpi. I am tired of
being here ” she says and I nod.
I make the call as we make our way
to chicken licken. She is really
dragging herself and is annoyed. I
am holding everything as she rests
her hand on her back as we are
walking. We get to the franchise and I
place the things where she is seated
before I go and order what she
wants. I join her again waiting for her
order. She keeps on rubbing her
back.
“Liyasha iqolo(My back is burning)”
she says.
“I hope Bhuti is close by so you can
get home” she leans back on the
chair and takes breaths.
“No man Khethiwe I am in pain.This
is why I didn't want a child!
Kuyimanje I am having heart
conditions I don't know about ”
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she leans back on the chair and
takes breaths.
“No man Khethiwe I am in pain.This
is why I didn't want a child!
Kuyimanje I am having heart
conditions I don't know about ” she is
shouting now and crying.
I stand up from my chair and go
behind her to fan her face.
“Calm down Sisi”She starts
screaming and everyone is now
looking at us.
“What should I do?”I ask.
“She needs the hospital” One lady
says while coming towards us.
“Oh Nkosi yami Khethiwe ngiyashona
(Oh my God Khethiwe I am dying)"
She cries I am panicking
“Where is the hospital from here?” I
ask.
“We will call an ambulance”. I nod
and go and fan her.
“It will be ok just breathe in and out.”
she moans while placing her hands
on her back.
“I am dying Khethiwe this is painful"
she says
“Breathe ok? I am here we will go to
the hospital”
“I can’t breathe I need water” I go and
ask for water.
People are surrounding her and now
her shoes are taken off. The
paramedics come with a stroller and
get her on it. I state who I am before
we could go together. She is having
trouble breathing and I think she is
panicking. The paramedic speaks to
her.
“Calm down everything will be
alright”we get inside the ambulance
and it drives off.

They have rushed off with her and I

am waiting for the nurses to come
and inform me what is going on with
her. Bhuti Nqobi called a while ago
asking where we are and I told him
that we are at the hospital. The way
she was loosing her breath and they
had to put a mask on her in order for
her to breathe properly told me that it
is a bit bad.
“You are the lady that came with the
pregnant woman?” I nod looking at
the nurse who has approcahed me.
“Yes” I say. She sighs and sits me
down.
“Your sister gave birth to a baby boy.
He is healthy and well”
“Her water didn't break” I say
“You can go into labour without your
water breaking but it's not a often
case.”
She says.
“Ok can I see her?”
“That is why I am seated with you.
Due to her Peripartum
cardiomyopathy she experienced too
much shortness of breath. She
couldn't do natural birth so with her
given permission we had to perform a
C-section which was a higher risk”
she says.
I don't understand what she is saying
at the moment.
“She didn't make it after birth”
I look up to the nurse.
_____
I did it slowly like the nurse has
instructed me to do so. He is crying
his lungs out like I have just pinched
him when I am trying to be as gentle
as I could ever be. I get him out of
the little bathtub and wrap him in a
towel before placing him on the bed
and wipe him. I start to lotion him
before I wrap his bottom with the
towel and put on the pvc waterproof
on after before I get him dressed his
clothes. I get done and hold him in
my arms before feeding him his milk
and he calms down sucking for dear
life.
“You are natural at this” I look up at
him.
“How did it go?” I ask.
“We need to call baba in for this. Her
father chased us away” I shake my
head.
“You are not eligible to go and
negotiate damages. You are all
young” I say
“I know. Don't you want to come
home? We can leave him under the
nurse's care" I look at him.
“Children get stolen and I wouldn't
want that happening” he sighs and
nods before coming to sit on the chair
Infront of me.
“Where is Nqobimpi?”
“I don't know where he disappeared
of too but Phuthuma is going to
search for him”he says
”Ok. Will he be able to take care of a
child?”
“No. That is why the baby is going to
Msinga tomorrow” I look at him.
“I will take care of him” Qaphile looks
at me.
“There are children back home
already and Mah can do it” he says
”As you have said. There are children
back home. Alot of them and your
mother doesn't need that. I would
love to take care of the baby
Qaphile.” he scratches his head.
“Ok I will talk to Nqobimpi about it” I
nod with a smile and look at the one
in my arms before removing the
bottle.
He is now sound asleep and you
wouldn't say he was screaming his
lungs some time ago.
“Does he have a name?” he asks.
“Sikelela” I say craddling the child.
Chapter 16
CHAPTER 16

His piercing cries wouldn't subside. I

rock him back and forth in my arms
before I take his bottle from his bag
and shove it in his mouth and he
sucks there after being silent for a
moment. I look up as we enter the
gravel road.
“You are ok there MaCele?” Zaba
asks and Qaphile fixed the review
mirror while staring at me at the
back.
“Yes I am fine” I say with a smile and
look down to little Sikelela.
“Kwaze Kwanzima (It's so tough)”
Zaba says heaving a sigh.
I keep my silence for a moment so as
them. It is hard. Here is a new born
child who just lost his mother through
some complicated medical term that I
am sure Nokwenkosi understands
better than I could've ever tried to. I
am glad that they found Nqobimpi
before we could make this journey to
their home in Msinga. I look out the
window and look at the widely
spreded houses from each other.
Very different from the city noise that
I hear every single day. I look at
Sikelela and remove the bottle from
his mouth and hold him against my
chest before rubbing his back for him
to burp and he does so.
“Awuboni nje!” I say with a smile.
He looks at me with his pure white
eyes and dark brown iris's that make
him look more cute than he is. We
get to their home and already the
others have arrived before us. We
get out of the car and I grab the baby
bag before Zaba closes the door for
me.
Their parents are waiting for us
Infront of the house. Their mother
looking more curious about us being
here without announcing or anything
of that manner. We get into the yard
and Phuthuma looks down.
“Sanibonani(Hello)” he says
“Haibo eyabani ingane
Khethiwe?(Who's child is it
Khethiwe?)” I look at them and she
looks at Qaphile.
“Its Nqobimpi’s” Phuthuma says.
Nqobimpi can't even utter a word.
“You are here to drop the child off?"
she asks.
“We were but Khethiwe wants to take
care of Sikelela” Phuthuma answers.
The rest are silent and not looking
anywhere but the floor.
“We came here asking for assistance
from baba. Unfortunately Sikelela’s
mother passed away after giving birth
and since Nqobi didn't pay for the
damages he saw it fit he does so in
that manner Sikelela can be a Ndlovu
and we can do a ceremony for him”
“Meaning?” his father says after
being silent for so long
“We need your help baba. We need
to go back to the city with you so you
could negotiate for us” Phuthuma
explains.
“Come Khethiwe” His mother says
and I follow her inside the house.
“Mama!” Sizwe says as soon as he
sees me. I sit down on the couches.
He comes and stands Infront of me
and looks at Sikelela.
“Where did you get that baby?” he
asks.
“The hospital”
“Oh at the city?” I nod.
He takes his tiny hand into his and
swings it around.
“Sizwe the child is fragile” I say
reprimanding him
“Why doesn't he say I am hurting
him?”
“Babies can't talk” he giggles.
“Will he stay with us ?”I shake my
head.
“No. He will stay with me in the city” I
say
“Why? I want to stay with you in the
city Mama” his voice is breaking.
“I want to too Mama” he says and I
sigh.
“Gogo loves having you here” I say
“Let me go and ask Baba” he rushes
off before I can say anything.
I sigh and look at the silently looking
at me baby in my hands. I feel for this
child and Sizwe. I do very much.
“Nokwenkosi left yazi. Uthe uya
ebelungwini (She said she is going to
white people)” Her mother comes
back in and sits Infront of me.
“Her job?”
“Somethihg like that. Working at
Kingdom unite nton nton but she had
to go and work in Johannesburg
before they think of taking her or
what” Hawu she didn't tell me.
“Oh I see” I smile.
_____
“Dali wami”
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He comes and holds me from behind
before he kisses my neck.
I am looking at the new dressing
table that is in the room. We were
given a private room as I am with a
baby. Qaphile's mother volunteered
to sleep with the baby but I wanted to
do so and let her rest with her
husband peacefully. The last time I
was here this dressing table wasn't
here. She did mention that
Nokwenkosi was the one who bought
some stuff for the house before she
left including the things in this room.
“Sthandwa sami” I say as he lifts his
head a bit and looks at me.
“I am tired” he says and kisses my
shoulder over my nightdress
”Lets get in bed so you could sleep” I
say
”Lets move the bed against the wall. I
want you to sleep in the middle” he
says
“Haibo Qaphile.”
“MaCele” he kisses my neck again.
“I love you so much” he says and my
heart yelps.
“I love you too” I say
★
I gave in to Qaphile's crazy
suggestion. I woke up in the morning
and he wasn't next to me. I got of the
bed and I went to pee at the outside
toilet before I came out and went to
wash my hands before making my
way inside the house. I greeted
whoever was there and went to the
bedroom. I checked Sikelela and he
had pooped. I had to bath him and
also take all the dirty towels and
wash them today because he will
need them very soon. I go and get
him bathing water from the kitchen.
“Hayi awupheli mandla layikhaya
(You don't stop appearing in this
house)” Sizile says.
“Good morning” she clicks her tongue
and move from the stove.
I got the water and pour in a basin
before I went to make it a bit warm
and not hot before I went to undress
Sikelela. He started crying then and I
kept on apologizing for nothing. I got
done and bathed him. Qaphile
walked in as I was bathing his crying
self. I got done and wrapped him with
a towel.
“Please throw on that towel inside his
bath water so I can wash it” I say.
He takes the towel from the bed and
throws it inside the water. I get
Sikelela dressed before I drop some
few Entrees druppels in his mouth
and he started to calm down as I
craddled him. Qaphile is sitting on the
bed watching me. When I am sure he
has settled I hand him over to
Qaphile.
“Hold him a bit” he nods and tries
holding him.
“Watch his head Qaphile” I say
In the end he finally holds him
properly and looks at me as I kneel
and wash the towel Sikelela messed
up. I get done and take the other two
and wash them as well to my
satisfaction.
“I will be back ” I say
“Will he not cry?”
“You are his uncle so you will see
how you calm him down” I say
I take the towels and the bathing
basin walking out. I greet Qaphile's
mother before I discarded everything
and I go to put the towels up to dry.
“How did you sleep?” she comes out
and asks me.
“Well mah. He is not trouble at night”
I say
“God bless your heart Khethiwe.” I
smile.
“Thank you mah. Let me go and feed
him” she nods and I go to feed
Sikelela.
____
Their father agreed to come with
them and assist with everything that
is needed to be done. I am enjoying
being with Sikelela all the time and
Sizwe is not happy about this newly
found child that has most of my
attention as he presumes. He is
adamant in coming to stay this side
with me but he should atleast finish
this year at school and also finding a
school for him this side. Also
Qaphile's concern have to be
involved.
Joyce called and she wanted me to
baby sit her daughter while she went
to God knows where. I think she said
a wedding or graduation or
something but she didn't want her
child there and I didn't mind baby
sitting for that day. Her daughter
looks just like Qaphile and has her
mother's complexion. She is beautiful
and quiet. Not as loud as Sizwe was
when he was her age. He has
jealousy tendencies now I have
noticed since Sikelela came about.
Qaphile and his brothers left to go
and pay the damages before
Sikelela’s mother is buried. She
wasn't mean. I wouldn't say so and I
believe if she lived maybe she
would've loved him so much.
The house is quiet with all the kids
sleeping. I have cooked Incase these
men come back hungry as ever.
“Khethiwe!” I peak from the
bedrooms and they are back.
They plop themselves on the couch
and their father asks for water. I go
and get some for him and go back to
dish up as they are discussing what
had gone down at the negotiations.
Sikelela is peaceful today and not
crying so loudly as he usually does
these days.
“Sisi” It's Nqobimpi. I haven't spoken
to him in a week since the news of
his woman.
“Bhuti. How can I help you?” I ask
“Ngiyabonga(Thank you)” he says
“And I love his name” he says with a
faint smile and I smile as well.
“Do you want to see him?” I ask.
“No it's fine. I know he is ok” he says
“Ok then. Everything will be ok” he
nods before he walks off.
I finish up dishing and go to serve
these men. They eat like they had
last eaten yesterday. I leave them
there and go and check on the
children. I am starting to love
Qaphile's child as well like my own.
Nothing calms me and fills me with
joy and excitement than watching
them sleep or make the slightest
noise. There is something that I am
doing right and I promise to raise all 3
of them with all my might.
Chapter 17
CHAPTER 17
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QAPHILE
“Qaphile!”I turn the ignition of the taxi
and hop out.
It's Joyce in her apron. She moves
from her usual salon friend and
comes my way. I go around the taxi
as people hop out.
“What do you want Joyce?” I ask
“We have a child together. There is
no need for you to talk to me like
that” he says
“It was a mistake that happened
once” I say
“You are meaning that our daughter
is a mistake?”
“Yes but I love my child not you get
that in your head” I say
“I hope lesi Sthandwa sakho sase
mafarm siphethe kahle ingane yami (
I hope your village lover is treating
my child well)” She says
“You said you were going to a
graduation. Is this a graduation after
3 days?” I ask
“Haibo I also need a break. I need
money for when Oyi comes back”
she says
“She is not coming back” I say taking
out my cigarette and light it up. She
frowns and puts her hands on her
hips.
“Haibo why?”
“Khethiwe loves her and she doesn't
want her leaving” she clicks her
tongue
“She must go and make her own
child and not steal mine. I want my
child back Qaphile I am not playing!”
she says.
“You should've fetched her the same
day” I takes puff.
“Don't. It's not my fault she keeps
loosing your children and I can keep
them” I look at her and my hand is on
her neck quickly
“Bafo!Bafo!” Nqobimpi pulls me away
from Joyce.
“Baleka Joyce ngoba lah
ngizokubamba khona•••(Run Joyce
because when I catch you•••)” She
rushes over to her friend.
Nqobi presses me again this taxi.
“You shouldn't let your temper run
like that” he says
“Leave me alone” I get off his grip
and walk away taking my cigarette
and smoking.
She pissed me off. I don't know why
oGatsheni are doing this to Khethiwe
or is it oNdosi? I take out my phone
and I call Dumisani.
“Qaphile” he answers.
I don't know why he doesn't want to
come to the city. He said he would
one day but I guess he loves fixing
people's fences back home. He is
really good at it.
“Dumisani.” I sigh.
“I am having a problem” I say
“What problem?”
“Why oGatsheni
bangiflathelile?(turning their backs on
me?)” I say
“What is it about? You are doing well
there with the others” he says
“Khethiwe’s children. My children.
The last one didn't last longer like the
first one” I say
“Eyi kulikhuni ukuthi ngisho.
Mhlawumbe ingoba awukakaze
uhlawulele intokazi (It is hard for me
to say. Maybe it is because you have
never paid damages for her)” he
says
“Or maybe her ancestors are angry?"
“Yes it could be because she was
chased away from home. Kuningi(It's
alot)” he says.
“I will pay the damages when I pay
ilobolo” I say
“Hawu sesizo faka imqhele yethu
maduze nje?(we are going to put on
our traditional attires soon?)” he says
with a bit of excitement and I
chuckles throwing away my
cigarette.
“Yes. I just need to buy the cows and
send them to her home” I say
“Lets go and steal them from the
Mdluli's" he laughs after his
statement. I do as well.
“Eyi loyamfana (That boy)” I say
“Take care of MaCele Qaphile.
Uyakuthanda losisi(She loves you
very much)” he says with much
seriousness.
“I love her too” I say
“I won't dwell with Oyi’s mother
kodwa I hope it was the first and last
time something like that happens if
you want to marry MaCele Qaphile.”
he says sternly.
“I hear you”
“Good or you will come back if that
city drives you crazy”
“Ok”I say
“Fix things. ” I sigh.
KHETHIWE

“Wena ave ukhohlakele ntombazane

(You are so evil )” she laughs as I
say that.
“Everything just happened so fast.
How are you ?”
“I am well. I am sitting with Qaphile's
daughter for 3 days and her mother
hasn't fetched her” I say
“Haibo! You are not it's mother"
Kwenkosi says.
“I know but I don't mind at all. She is
a sweet child like you” she giggles.
“A bit crazy as well” she says
laughing.
Sikelela cries and I move from the
lounge and go to the bedroom taking
him.
“Are you ok kodwa sisi?”
“Yes. I forgave and moved on and I
am enjoying helping out Nqobimpi
and Qaphile is my love. What is his is
mine as well” I say
“Awu kodwa Khethiwe. Ngangithi
ngilungile kodwa wena uhamba
wedwa nokulunga kwakho(I thought I
was kind but you take the cup in
being kind)” she says.
“I don't want what I went through
Kwenkosi. I want to love these kids
even in bad times” she makes
sounds.
“I hear you. I have to go I will call” I
nod before she hangs up.
I change Sikelela’s nappy and it's
wet. I put a new PVC and also a new
towel before I wrap him in a blanket
before I go and wash his things.
“Oyi come”
Sponsored
I nod before she hangs up.
I change Sikelela’s nappy and it's
wet. I put a new PVC and also a new
towel before I wrap him in a blanket
before I go and wash his things.
“Oyi come” she moves from the door
and comes towards me.
I take her to feed her the porridge
that she didn't finish. She gets done
and I let her go. Her mother hasn't
come to take her but I don't mind. It
keeps me very busy and I enjoy
being this busy. I love children and I
didn't realize I did until Sizwe and
Nokuthula. He is still not happy that
he is not living with me. He visited
this past weekend and came a day
only and it was hard for him to leave
in the end of it all.
I hear crying and I rush to the
bedroom and Oyi is holding Sikelela
in her arms.
“Ngane yakhala(The child is crying)”
she says.
“Bring him here ” she shakes her
head.
“Zothulisa mina(I will calm him
down)” he eventually does. I quickly
take my camera and take a photo of
them before grabbing Sikelela from
her arms.
I sit down on the bed and she gets
between my legs and stands on my
feet so she could look at Sikelela.
“Ngane yakho leh?(Is this your
child?)” she points her tiny finger on
Sikelela’s cheek.
“Yes it is my child” I say
“Nami ngifuna ngane yakho(I also
want to be your child)” I smile.
I didn't know she was this naughty as
well.
“You are” she looks at Sikelela while
folding her arms giving her head over
his. He is looking at me.

Sikelela finally sleeps and I put this

one on my back just so she could
sleep as well. I go to the kitchen and
the door opens. Qaphile comes in
closing the door.
“You are back early” he comes and
kisses my lips. I pull out.
“Oyi is on my back"
”I am sorry Mama. I missed you" he
says
“I missed you too” I say.
“I haven't cooked” I say
“I will ask Zaba to buy something
don't cook” he says.
“Ok" he moves behind me.
“She is asleep” he says.
“Ok let me out her down. ” I go to the
bedroom and I lay her down.
He walks in and after securing and
making sure the kids are ok. He
holds my waist and turns me towards
the door to the other room before
closing the door.
“You are everything to me Sthandwa
sami” he holds my cheeks.
I hug him and in hale his nicotine
scent before exhaling. He wraps his
arms around me.
____
It's the next day and Nqobimpi came
to check if I don't need anything that
is concerning Sikelela. I made him sit
down a bit and actually hold his child
for the first time. He didn't know what
to say after. All he just said was:“He
looks more like me than his mother"
he went silent after that statement
and left R200 on the coffee table
before he left. I remember that the
store I once went to sells ice cream
as well so I bathed Sikelela and Little
Oyi before I strapped Sikelela on my
back and held Oyi's hand going to the
store. She was being her silent self
once more. I go her ice cream and
she was very happy to mess up
herself and lick away the melting ice
cream on a hot day. I should call
Sizwe before he cries that I don't give
him any attention.
He doesn't like Sikelela as much
because he stays with me and he
doesn't. He doesn't understand and I
asked him that if he moves that
means leaving Nokuthula alone. He
didn't seem to care one bit but wants
to be here. I get home and I see
Joyce standing by the door folding
her arms.
“Mama!"Oyi rush to her mother and
she looks at her.
“Look how you are making a mess off
yourself" she darts her looks at me.
“Hello"
“Hello wokunuka akusiyo ingane
yakho leh (This is not your child)” I
just look at her.
“Where are her things?”
“Inside”
“Open up so we could go in and take
those things” I stop by the door.
“She will be in our lives more often.
It's best you start being nice” I say
“To who?” she says
“Everyone including me. As
Kwenkosi said before. You slept with
my man not the other way around” I
say
“I gave him a human that will always
be his first born living child” I see it
pointless talking any further with her
even though it's a hot dagger to take
in.
“Ok”
Oyi looks between us licking her
hands from the melting ice cream.
“Get her things I don't have time” I go
and get her things and go back
handing her back pack to her
mother.
“Mama I want to stay with Dad and
aunty” her daughter complains.
“Awufuni ngikusakaze ngempama
manje mina woza Lahla leyonto(You
don't want me slapping you. Come
and throw that away)” she grabs her
as they walk out. I take my phone
and make a call.
“Dali wami”
“Joyce was heee”
“What did she do? I will kill that
woman” he says.
“Qaphile don't say that” I say
“Are you ok?”I feel a bit of pain but I
smile. It will just fade away
“Yes. I was letting you know and she
took Oyi”
“I will see you ok? If she said
anything please don't take it to heart”
he says
“OkI love you”
“I love you more Sthandwa sam” he
hangs up.
I go and put Sikelela down and take
my bag with beads inside.
I have made appt of bead work over
the years. I look at it and rip
everything apart and the beads fall
onto the floor. I do to ever piece of
them and the floor gets filled with the
beads. I sit down and bury my face
between my legs trying to breathe
properly.
___
“Khethiwe” I hear his voice but it
echos in my ear.
I haven't moved from where I am and
I am sure 20 minutes has passed. I
didn't expect him to come after the
phone call.
He comes and crouches Infront of me
ontop of the beads that I am seated
on.
“Sthandwa Sami” he says
He clears his throat.
“What did she say?” I keep my
silence with my head still between my
legs.
“Khethiwe please I don't like seeing
you like this” he says.
“No matter how much I mother
Mbewuyesizwe and Sikelela they
would never be our biological
children. They are not mine” my voice
is breaking.
I look up to him.
“Why do you love me when I fail you
each time?” I say
“I love you because I saw that purity
you have. I love you for many
reasons Sthandwa Sami. I knew no
girl would love me as indoda iba
indoda ngezinkomo zayo but with you
I was just mesmerized and wanted to
atleast know or see if you would give
me a chance to even talk and you
did. I love you and I am scared of
waking up and maybe you are not
next to me and I am stuck in that
rondaval bruised from the beating I
got from Wandile. ” I laugh and he
smiles.
“I thought you were dying”I say
“Me too”he wipes my tears and pulls
me close to him.
“I love you MaNdosi.Lokho akusoze
kwashintsa(That would never
change)”
I love him too.
“Everything will be ok”
Chapter 18
PART 3

CHAPTER 18

I left this place as a child and now I

come back as a women. I left this
place as I was close to being a
mother and I come back with being a
mother to 3 beautiful children. Yes
they are not mine biologically and
didn't come out of my womb but I
take them as mine.
“I am scared” I blurt that out.
Zaba looks at me and looks at Bhuti
Dumisani who is next to him.
“We will just get in and talk to him”
Dumisani says it like it is something
so easy. He doesn't know this man
like I do.
“He is a hard nut to crack” I say
“Hayi phela somshaya (We will hit
him)” Zaba says
“Zabanyathi!” Dumisani says.
Zaba is a fire cracker and violence to
him seems normal to him now. He is
always ready to pull his gun out on
anyone and so as Qaphile. The
peace makers of everything is
Nqobimpi or Phuthuma.
“There is a woman looking at the car”
I look out and my heart skips a beat
looking at her after so many years.
“That is my mother” I say softly.
“Lets go in” Dumisani says.
We step out of the car and I take my
bag and put it over my shoulder. It
was hard leaving Sikelela for a
moment but I am glad that Sizwe has
warmed up to Sikelela being in his
life. Oh those bundles of mine and so
as Oyi. They have really grown on
me and are grown now. Every now
and then her mother drops off and
claims she is tired and i should take
over since I want to mother everyone
and I don't mind. She is a really
sweet child. Sikelela grows to look
more and more like Nqobimpi as he
grows and behaves more. He is 4
years old now. Yes time flies very
quickly just in a simple blink and
Sizwe is now 10 years old. Gatsa has
two kids over the years and they are
just a year apart. He is with the
mother of his child and no they are
not married but live together. Her
sons names are Ntozakhona and
Qiniso. Their mother is the most
craziest woman I have encountered
on but very sweet. She doesn't
tolerate Joyce's behavior and mostly
she reminds me of Kwenkosi so
much.
Anyway. We enter the gate and my
mother is standing on the stoep
waiting upon us to reach her. We do
so and I bow my head.
“Sawubona mah(greetings)”
Dumisani says.
“Yebo” she replies.
“We are here to speak to the man of
this house”
“If you are here to drop Khethiwe off
we don't want her back she
disappointed us”
“We understand and we are not here
to drop her off but discuss an
important matter” Dumisani says.
There is silence for a moment and I
look up to my mother.
“Come inside” we get inside the
house. Alot hasn't changed. It is still
just the same as the time I left it 8
years ago.
We get seated down and I hold onto
my bag and my mother looks at me
before she disappears and goes to
their bedroom. I look at the door of
what used to be my room. Where I
slept with Nombukelo when she
comes to visit just because she is
afriad. She comes back with my
father following her and she goes to
the kitchen.
We stand up and these two greet
him. He nods with a frown before
stating that they could sit down.
They do just that and I am silent.
“I am Dumisani Ndlovu and this is my
brother Zabanyathi Ndlovu. We have
been sent by our Brother Qaphile
who is asking for permission to come
and ask for Khethiwe’s hand in
marriage” I am silent listening on
them.
“He has to pay damages. That boy
didn't do that!” my father is angry.
“We understand baba and he will do
just that during the negotiations.”
Dumisani says.
“I want full 11 cows. Two goats to
cleanse my kraal and another for the
child”
“We will do just that.”
I sigh of relief. I didn't think he would
agree.
____
I am standing on a rock balancing my
body by holding onto his shoulders
so that I wouldn't fall. We are at the
river and he is throwing the stones
into the river as they skip over and
over again until it plumps inside the
water disappearing from our eyes.
“My father agreed” I say.
Qaphile said he wanted to send cows
home last week and we had to get
his approval since I left home in a
sour note. He turns around to me and
drops the stones that were in his
hand before he picks me up from the
rock and spins me around as I giggle
before he holds me firmly in his arms
and I kiss his face.
“I love you MaCele”
“I love you too Gatsheni”.
He places me down.
“I will give you the wedding of your
dreams” he says
“Where everyone will look at me?”
He kisses my neck
“Where everyone will look at my
beautiful wife” I smile.
I remember the day my aunt got
married. I wished for that kind of a
wedding where everyone just
celebrates me. I didn't know that
there were white weddings but living
in the city I have learned about them
and Qaphile said I can have them
both if I want to and I want to have
them both.
“Ngaze ngajabula.(I am so happy)”
“I am happy to see you this excited” I
giggle.
“Who wouldn't be excited Sthandwa
sami” he smiles.
He pulls me in his arms and engulfs
me in them. I hug him right back. I
can't believe I will soon e his wife.
____
“Mama! Mama !•••” Sikelela keeps on
tapping on my thigh.
I am sitting infront of the dressing
table trying to tie my doek properly.
He is being restless I know right now
and he won't stop bothering me
unless I give him the attention he
needs.
“Yes boy”
He is speaking to me but his story
doesn't add up. It has Nokuthula in it
and I think some parts are just made
up. Qaphile walks inside the bedroom
and looks at us.
“Go and sleep with your brother” I
say
“Good night" he pouts up for me to
kiss him and I do so before he runs
off and Qaphile closes the door.
“I am tired” he jumps on the bed and
takes off his clothes.
“I was feeling a bit dizzy as well but I
am fine now”
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he jumps on the bed and takes off his
clothes.
“I was feeling a bit dizzy as well but I
am fine now” I say
“You were working too hard”
“No I wasn't” I get off the chair and go
to him. I land a kiss on his lips and he
pulls me ontop of him.
“Let’s try for a baby” he says.
“You think it will happen?”
“It will” I sigh and get off him then sit
beside him.
“I haven't gotten pregnant since the
last time” I say
“Hey I think everything will be ok
now” he says
“Really?” he nods.
“Really Sthandwa sami” I smile and
he kisses me before he lays me on
the bed and gets on me.
“Your parents are here”I say
“We will be discrete”I nod as he goes
in to kissing my lips leaving me
wanting more of him.
My heart pluses in an excited way to
his touch as he moves his hands
under my night dress up to my pelvic
area.

QAPHILE

I left Khethiwe to sleep after

everything we did. I wanted to take a
smoke just to calm down so I snuck
outside and looked at the stars as I
was smoking. I felt myself relax more
and more as I am taking more and
more puffs.
“What are you doing outside?” it's
Zaba.
The rest are still in Durban and I just
came with this one.
“Just•••” he stands next to me and I
hand the cigarette over to him before
he takes a puff.
We are both silent just in thoughts
and exchanging a cigarette. When it
is a stud I throw it away and he looks
at me.
“You have grown” he says.
“You are still 2 years younger than
me” I say
“Just two years.”I nod.
“You will be the first one to get
married. Not even Phuthuma is
married. Dumisani even hasn't found
himself a farm girl” he says.
“He has. He wouldn't tell you” I say
“Hawu so he lied to me?” Zaba
frowns.
“Its non of your business”
“Anyway. I wish you luck Mfwethu. I
really do” he says.
“Thank you” I nod.
We stay there for sometime before
we go back inside the house.

KHETHIWE

A week passed and The date was

set and everything was ready for
iLobolo. Qaphile wanted things to
happen as soon as possible for
iLobolo and it did. I was very happy
when everything went well and I was
cleansed tooo by my family at the
loss of my children. My aunt was very
happy to see me and I was too. I had
missed my family very much and I
couldn't be angry at them for sending
me away.
We left Msinga and went back to
Durban with the children. I couldn't
wait for Sikelela to start school the
following year just like all the other
kids. We had taken a little trip in
celebration of the successful iLobolo
as Gatsa’s woman would say. She
loves things very much and you could
tell she has taste in them very much
but she is humble.
We are at a restaurant by the beach
as we are watching over the ocean.
The beach is my favourite place. I
take out my camera and Zaba offers
to take a picture and Sikelela invades
my picture but we laugh about it. I
pull him to sit down next to me.
“We may have never said this much
but Siyabonga kakhulu MaCele(We
are very thankful MaCele)” Phuthuma
says.
The rest nod their heads and Qaphile
holds my hand.
“I am happy that your going to be a
Ndlovu now” Zaba says.
I look at Qaphile.
“I am the happy one” I say
I am really excited about the next
chapter I am about to enter with
Qaphile.
Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
Daily New African Novels Download
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We were back in Msinga once more.
Yesterday it was Umgcagco which is
the traditional Zulu wedding.I have
never been so happy in my life and
for the first time I saw Qaphile in his
traditional clothes.His mother was
crying most of the time. Since after
the lobolo. Two cows were taken
back to Qaphile's home so they could
be slaughtered today. I would say
that it was the biggest wedding
Msinga has seen after my aunt's. He
really gave me a wedding he
promised to give to me the first time
we met.
Today is the white wedding. I am at
home in my old rondaval and the
wedding will happen KwaNdlovu just
like Umgcagco. I have bathed
already and I am with Zaba’s woman
and also Gatsa’s woman. They know
more of this than I do and that is how
they helped me with the planning and
preparations of everything.
Nombukelo was also here and it has
been years since I last saw her. I will
be the first person to leave this house
in a Vail in my family. They only
thought there will be Umgcagco and
nothing else but Qaphile said I can
have them both and we agreed on
that plus I didn't know that at Home
affairs it's recorded if you are married
or not. The city a person learns alot
while living there.
I haven't seen Qaphile since
yesterday. I haven't talked to him
yesterday but I will see him very soon
I know. The woman are on my room
giving me the same advice they had
given me since yesterday and I am
obeying to what they are saying.
“Sanibonani bo mah we need to
prepare Khethiwe” Zaba’s woman
says walking in.
They have been looking at her up
and down the whole time she was
here. She dresses nicely and wears
mini skirts. Her legs allow her and
she is a very dark beautiful slim
woman. She works at some factory
that does sewing. That is what she
said to me.
“These people that Khethiwe brought
here” one says as they all walk out.
“How are you Khethiwe?” she
smiles.
“I am well. I just want to go now”
“You will. Where is your dress?” I
point at the chair where it is lying and
she tells me to get dressed.
I do get dressed and she pulls the zip
up for me at the back. It is big and
very puffy. It was puffy by the side of
each arm but off the shoulder. She
takes white pearls and places them
on my neck and runs her fingers on
my shoulders once she is done.
“Come let's do you face” she says
with a smile.
She pulls me to sit on the chair and I
do. She takes her small bag and
takes out a pencil and does my eyes
before she puts a peache eye
shadow and red lipstick. She puts
everything minimal and when she is
done she gives me her small mirror
and I look at Myself.
“Hah. Ayi ngingu Thokozile
Makhathini mina ngiyayenza lento (I
am Thokozile Makhathini. I did this
well)”she says.
It was werid at first to hear that her
and Zaba’s sister share the same
name and considering how Thokozile
is like but she is a very nice person
compared to the one I know.
“Come Khethiwe” she says putting
the veil over my head and doesn't
cover my face.
I am no longer a virgin anymore. The
women come in numbers by singing
wedding songs. I have my flowers in
my hand. Thoko holding my dress
from behind so it doesn't get any
dirty. We get outside the gate and I
am placed inside the car with my
father inside and mother. We haven't
talked to each other much and I have
given up on trying. The car moves
and the people follow behind on foot.
We get to the Ndlovu yard and there
is a big white tent outside and some
community men drinking Zulu beer
sharing it amoungst themselves. I
was told to wait before we are called
in. My mother got out of the car as I
stayed with my father in silence.
Thoko comes and tells us that we
can now come inside. She helps me
out and my father fixes his hat before
taking my hand in his. My heart
skipped a beat for once and I look at
him. He doesn't return the gesture.
“Umakoti ungowethu
Siyavuma
Ungowethu ngempela
Siyavuma
Uzosiwashela aziphelele
Siyavuma•••” the singing
commenced.
We enter the tent and it's beautifully
draped. I see Qaphile in a white suit
Infront of the pastor. I smile just by
looking at him and he does the same.
We get to him and my father hands
me over. The pastor prays and we
close our eyes before we are told to
open them again.
____
After the signing of papers we took
some photos. I got a 6 piece Gold
ring set for my ring. Oyi and her
mother were also here but I don't
know where Joyce disappeared off
to. After everything Qaphile's mother
came towards me smiling and she
just engulfs me into a hug.
“Naze nayenza into Enhle Khethiwe
(You guys did a great thing
Khethiwe)” she says and pulls off.
“Thank you”
“Death will do you apart now” she
says and I nod. Yes death will only
seperate me and Qaphile.
I go and find Nokwenkosi and she is
all over me. I ask her to come and
assist me in taking off the dress and
she agrees. We go to the room we
use when we are here. I get inside
and she closes the door.
“How are you Khethiwe?”
“I am happy. I love your brother
Nokwenkosi’’
“I know sisi. Now all there is left is for
you to have a baby” she says
I stare into the mirror and she stops
what she is doing.
“You will have your own children
Khethiwe”
”What if I don't and Joyce gives
Qaphile another child”
“Haibo we will kill them both if they do
that again” she says and I take off my
Vail.
“You will have babies Khethiwe" she
says and I just nod.
She unzips my dress.
“You should sell those beautiful
beads of yours” she says
“I don't do them anymore. I broke
them” I say
She looks at me.
“Why?” she asks.
“Its useless”
“Haibo Khethiwe you have great craft
and you saw how people buy them
and I am sure at the city they
would've been sold them very fas•••”
“I said I don't want to do them
anymore Nokwenkosi!” I snap.
She keeps quiet and I breathe out. I
cover my face with my hands before
removing them and Qaphile is
standing by the door.
“Ngiyaxolisa(I am sorry)” she looks
behind her and she touches my
shoulder before walking out.
I turn from the mirror and I look at
him. He comes towards me and
helps me out of the dress in silence. I
am also in silence. I don't know what
to say but I didn't mean to be like that
towards Nokwenkosi. I get out of the
dress and he goes to the wardrobe
and gets a dress for me and helps
me slip in it. He sits me down on the
bed and takes a comb and some hair
spray and he sprays my hair before
he combs it out. When he is done he
takes the doek and tries to tie it up.
“I will do it”
Sponsored
she looks behind her and she
touches my shoulder before walking
out.
I turn from the mirror and I look at
him. He comes towards me and
helps me out of the dress in silence. I
am also in silence. I don't know what
to say but I didn't mean to be like that
towards Nokwenkosi. I get out of the
dress and he goes to the wardrobe
and gets a dress for me and helps
me slip in it. He sits me down on the
bed and takes a comb and some hair
spray and he sprays my hair before
he combs it out. When he is done he
takes the doek and tries to tie it up.
“I will do it” I say softly.
“I want to do it” I let him be and he
does it but not as tightly. He them
places his hands on my shoulders
and looks at me.
“I am sorry I didn't mean to shout at
her” I say
“Its ok.” he kisses my lips the breaks
it off.
“Sofa silahlane wami” he says and I
fall into his arms. He brushes my
back.
“Come let's go and eat” he takes off
the suit and changes as well.
He gets done and we walk out of the
room. We are going to go to the city
very soon and Fezihle is also going
with us. He wants to work there as
well and he has finished school
already. I don't know why he didn't
come along time ago but he is
coming now.
____
We are back at the city and back
home. The children came back with
us. They are going to school very
soon. Oyi lives with us during school
time and holidays she goes to her
mother. Her mother made it clear that
she doesn't have time to prepare Oyi
to going to school everyday and
Qaphile has a car or if she stays
Qaphile has to get her a car. That
woman is very demanding and it's
getting to me sometimes. It's at the
afternoon and they have just bathed
and changed. I am at the kitchen
cooking for them. Qaphile got tv and
they only watch it every now and then
but mostly play outside but not with
other kids. It is not safe for them.
“Mama. Sizwe took my towel”
Sikelela complains.
“Come" I close the pot and took his
hand.
I went to their bedroom.
“Sizwe where is your brother's
towel?”
“Mama I didn't take it” he says
“Sikelela go and look for your towel in
the bathroom” I say
He rushes off to the bathroom. I pick
up their clothes from the floor and out
them in the basket.
“When you are done come and eat” I
say
They nod. I go and finish the pots
before the door opens and Qaphile
walks in.
“Dali wami” he comes towards me
and he hugs me.
“How was your day?”I move around
the kitchen
“It was ok. I bought a new camera for
you ” he said.
“Where is it?” I say with much
excitement.
“Its in the taxi.” I nod.
“I think we should change the kid's
school and they should go to town
where there are white teachers” I
say
“I will talk to my brothers.” ok.
“Baba!” Oyi hugs Qaphile.
I dish up for everyone before we go
and eat.
Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20

The kids are off to school. I gotten

time to talk to Nokwenkosi properly
and apologize for my out burst. She
was being nice and I shouldn't have
out bursted in that manner. I was
cleaning around the house while
opening up the radio.
“MaKhethi!” I hear someone call out
for me.
I get out of the house and stand by
the stoep with my hands on my hips.
It is Thoko standing by the gate. She
takes off her sun glasses and looks
at me.
“Come and open up for me ” she
says
I go inside and take the gate keys
before I go and open. I greet her.
“What are you doing here?”
“I didn't go to work. Zaba just
dropped me off and I want us to go
somewhere” she says
“Where?”
“You will see. Just get dressed and I
will drive” she says pointing at
Qaphile's Toyota spura.
We walk inside and she sits down as
I bring some beverages for her while
I go and get dressed. I wear jeans
with a sweater on top. I take my bag
and we walk out of the house as I
hand the car keys to her. I wonder
where we are headed. We get in the
car before she drives out.
____
We are in a museum. I don't know
why did she being me here but I am
scouting around and looking at the
history display Infront of us.
“Are you ok Khethiwe?” she asks and
I turn to her.
“Yes I am ” I say with a smile.
“How is your bead work? I heard that
you are very good at it.” she says
“I am but I stopped doing bead work”
“Why?"she asks
“I don't have time for it” she frowns.
“What do you have time for?” she
asks.
“Qaphile. I should be focused on my
marriage than anything else.” I feel a
bit dizzy and I close my eyes for a
moment.
“Well If you think so” she says
“Yes” she smiles.
“Come let's move this side” she pulls
me with her.
“How are you and Zaba?” she
smiles.
“I don't know where that man has
been." She says
I am glad she is happy. I stop a bit
from the walking and I bend a bit.
“Are you ok?” she asks.
“I just feel a bit dizzy” I say
“Did you eat?” she asks.
“Not yet” I look up to her and she
holds me before trying to sit me down
on the floor.
______
“Sthandwa sami” I open my eyes and
look at him.
He holds my hand and I look around
our bedroom. I look at the worry on
his face as I hold his hand back.
“Are you ok?”
“Yes I am” I say softly.
I try to sit up and a pain surfaces at
my abdomen. I moan as Qaphile tries
to help me with up before he sits next
to me.
“Where are the kids?”
“Phuthuma went to fetch them.” I
nod.
“Let me get you something to eat
ok?” I nod as he kisses my lips and
walks out of the door.
He comes back with a plate of food
and he feeds me the food till I am
done before he goes and place the
plate in the kitchen he gets in bed
next to me and holds me close to
him.
“Did you enjoy going with Thoko?”
“Yes even though it wasn't for long” I
say
He kisses my neck. He loves doing
that when he sleeps next to me.
“I will take you back there if you like
it”
“It was ok” I say
“I have the photos from the last Film”
he gets off the bed and takes an
envelope.
I sit up and get hands the envelope to
me. I open it and it has Photos
inside.
“Zaze zazinhle(They are beautiful)” I
say
“Not more than you” I laugh and push
him a bit.
He chuckles.
“I will have to take more” I say.
★
Today it's Bhuti Phuthuma’s birthday.
It is hosted here at my house and it's
something small and gathered for
nothing big that could be
exaggerated on. It's just the brothers
and the kids as well as the 3 of us
ladies. I am getting very well along
with Thoko than Gatsa’s woman
though she is a very good person. It's
just that Thoko is always and I mean
always visiting or popping in and out
to just see me. She refers to me as
her friend. My city friend.
“Sizwe go and call your sister !”
Thoko says.
“Can I have the candles?”
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Thoko says.
“Can I have the candles?” I ask.
They hand them over to me as I
decorate them around the cake. I
wipe my hands.
“We need a lighter to light the cake
up” Thoko says as she stuffs some
chips in her mouth.
I take the paper plates that have the
snacks on and I go and place them
outside on the table at the front.
Fezihle and Zaba are playing with the
boys. Oyi rushes inside the house to
Thoko.
Music is enjoyed and so as the
beverages that are here.
“Sisi” It's Nqobimpi.
“Yes?”
“Can I talk to you?" He asks.
I nod slowly and moves away from
where everyone is and I follow after
him.
“Is it about Sikelela?” I ask.
“I don't know” he sighs and looks
down.
“I don't know who to tell this to but I
think it's best I tell you as you are
living with Sikelela” he says
“Ok” he places hands in his pockets
then scratches his neck with one
hand before burying the hand in his
pocket.
“I am HIV positive” I look at him.
“What does that mean Bhuti?”
“I am not ok Khethiwe. I am sick” he
says.
“You will be fine right?” I ask
“No I am afriad not. There is no cure
or treatment for it” I feel my head
spinning.
“I don't understand I don't know what
to say. Did Sikelela’s mother have
this thing?”
“No. She didn't” I don't know what to
say.
“We can go to the clinic tomorrow for
you to understand it a bit. It's a virus
MaCele” He says.
“Ok we can go to the clinic. Don't you
think you should tell your brothers
too?”I ask
“Not now. I don't want them
worrying.” he smiles.
I hug him and he breathes out.
“Kuzolunga Bhuti(Everything will be
ok)”I say
The celebration was very wonderful.
We sang happy birthday for
Phuthuma and everything was just
well. We were sitting together outside
as we were drinking our beverages of
which mine was a cold drink so as
the ladies. I couldn't get my mind on
what Bhuti Nqobimpi has said to me.
I hope that he will be ok and the
nurses and doctors can give us
solutions on how to conqure this
sickness. The kids were with their
fathers and Khethiwe was forgotten
once more but they do live with me
so I am not complaining.
“Are you ok?” Qaphile asks.
“I am ok” I smile at him.
I look at Nqobimpi and I just feel sad
for him.
_____
It's the next day and Nqobimpi came
to fetch me and we went to a near by
clinic. We got inside and we had to
wait before a nurse attended to us.
We got into a room and we were
seated down.
“How may I help you?”
“This is my sister. I recently found out
that I am HIV positive.”Nqobi says.
“What made you go and test?”
“I wasn't feeling ok and someone I
know suggested I come to the clinic
and check” he says playing with his
hands.
“There is no medication for HIV or
Cure for it. ” the nurse says.
“I know I just want it explained to her”
the nurse looks at me.
“HIV is a sexual transmitted disease.
Meaning that it can be transfered
from one person to another through
sexual course. Also another way that
we have recently found out is that it
can also be transferred via blood.
Meaning sharing of needles with
someone who has the disease or if
an HIV positive patient bleeds and
you attend them without any
protective gear and maybe you have
a cut. That can also be ways of how
HIV is transfered. Touching a person
doesn't so the myths you hear about
it are not true. You will get sick with
time and I am afriad there is not
much to do but try to eat healthy is
the only option we have for you right
now” Nqobimpi nods bowing his
head.
“If he is going to get sick will it be
bad?” I ask.
“Yes unfortunately.” I nod.
We get done and thank the nurse for
her time. We leave the clinic in
silence and go to his car. We get
inside and he starts the car.
“I will go to Msinga” he says.
“Who will monitor you?” I ask
“I don't know. We will see” he says.
I am quiet in the car. We go and buy
something to eat before going home
to drop me off.
★
A few days have passed now and
Nqobimpi has moved off to Msinga.
He hasn't told hi brother's why he is
moving back home or that he is sick.
I sometimes look at Sikelela and I
find myself holding him a bit longer.
Maybe it's because I am imagining
the pain that his father must be going
through right now. He needs his
father more than anything else. I
have been feeling dizzy when I don't
eat and a bit better if I eat. It's the
weekend and the kids are playing
outside. I would be doing my beads
right now but I don't want to. I have
lost the love of doing them as much
as I did them back then. There is only
one thing we can do in life and that is
‘Hope’ for the best.
Chapter
CHAPTER 21
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It has been a few months since I
have gotten married and Thoko takes
me once just to go to the museum. I
saw something that interested me
and I thought why not make some
history with the family. I asked
Qaphile to buy albums for me and
also some books where I can write
things inside for the kids. For Sikelela
and about his mother. Some fun
things that they did and their photos
of the kids. I have taken too many
pictures over that time that Qaphile
bought a video camera for me to use
as well. Ah my husband is everything
to me and so as the children. Its a
hard time for the family. Bhuti
Nqobimpi is getting sick and has lost
weight. At this point he is at bed rest
and can't do anything for himself. I
used to call him and check if he is
fine every day until he couldn't
anymore. Qaphile's mother informed
me that they were getting some
herbs from inyanga(herbalists) but it
wasn't helping and she couldn't take
care of him which led me to leaving
the city.

He dryly coughs as I am wiping his

feet and I place the towel in the
bathing dish before I cover his feet.
“Bhuti” I say and he tries to breathe
properly before looking at me.
“You have to tell everyone. We have
to” I say. He lets out cough once
again. We are at the rondaval
outside.
“Khethiwe they would•••They wouldn't
understand” he says
“Ngiyakucela Bhuti(Please)” I beg.
He closes his eyes for a moment and
signals for me to come by his side
and I do so. I kneel next to the bed.
“Khethiwe•••My sister's are cruel.” he
takes a deep breath.
“You can tell them I don't have the
power to do so” He says and I nod.
“I will be back” I take the bathing
basin and I walk out of the rondaval. I
discard the water and make my way
inside the main house.
“The porridge is ready for Nqobimpi.
He is getting worse” his mother says.
I know. I can see it and I am hoping
something comes up and makes him
better.
“I will take it to him” I say
“Niyabona ukubuya nezifo zase
madolobheni(You see bringing city
diseases home)” Thokozile says.
“Thokozile!”
She keeps quiet. I walked to the
room I use here and I take my phone
to call Qaphile. He answers the
phone.
“Sthandwa Sami how are you?” he
asks.
“Sthandwa Sami kunento ekumele
ngikutsele Kona (There is something
I have to tell you)” I say
“Ok what is wrong”.
“Nqobimpi is very sick” I say
“He needs the hospital then. He
shouldn't be there” he says
“The nurse said there is nothing that
could be done.” I say
“Why is that?” he seems a bit angry
now.
“He has HIV Qaphile” he is silent for
a moment
“We will be there ” he hangs up.
I sigh and sit on the bed before I walk
out to go and feed Nqobimpi.
★
It's a very hot day and I just came
back from doing some washing and
also towels. Thokozile and Sizile
made it clear that they don't want to
nurse a sick person. They don't know
what diseases their brother have but
his mother has been very helpful
though she is clueless. I get done
hanging the washing and I go to the
rondaval. Qaphile’s mother is feeding
Nqobimpi some home made
Amageu. He gets done and licks his
lips after that.
“You are eating better today” His
mother says.
“Kodwa Mntanami yini leh ekudla
kangaka ?(What is eating you up like
this my child?)” she asks.
“Its nothing to worry about. I will be
fine ngiyathembisa(I promise)”he
says.
She sighs and takes the jug with her
while getting off the bed I greet and I
go to fix his pillows and help him lay
properly.
“How do you feel today?” I ask.
“I just need to see my brothers and
Sikelela” he says.
“They are coming.” he coughs.
“Ngiyabonga Futhi Khethiwe (Thank
you so much again Khethiwe)” he
says.
“We are a family bhuti” I say
“Let me leave you for a while ”
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he nods and I walk out of the
rondaval leaving him there.
I see the cars park in the yard and I
wait for everyone to get off and they
do.
“Where is he?” Phuthuma asks and I
point at the rondaval as they pass
me. I stand there waiting for Qaphile
and he comes towards me.
“Go and see him”
“Mama!” Sikelela and Sizwe hop out
of the car.
They come to me and hug me all
around. I take them inside the house
leaving the brothers together.

QAPHILE

He is looking bad than the last time

we came here. I didn't understand
fully what was going on. He was ok
just some time ago and now he is
bed ridden. This is not the Nqobimpi I
know who loves laughing. Who loves
peace who is a conquer despite
anything.
“I am sorry” he says and closes his
eyes as we look at him.
“When did you find out?” Phuthuma
asks.
“It has been some time. That's why I
came here” he says.
“Why didn't you tell us?” Gatsa
shoots the question.
“It wouldn't make any difference. I
can't be cured and there is no
medication nothing” he coughs.
I look at my brother and he opens his
eyes and looks at me.
“Qaphile please take care of Sikelela
like you always do.” he says.
“You are not dying” I say
He chuckles.
“I am not. I will be better. Khethiwe is
helpful wagana laphaya
mfowethu(You married a woman
there my brother)” I nod.
“I am feeling a bit better today” he
says.
“Thats good.”
We stay in the rondaval with him.

KHETHIWE

I was feeling those little cramps here

and there but it fades away with
some time. I was cooking supper with
the help of the little ones and I made
some soup for Nqobimpi as well. I
took Sikelela to him and now he is at
the lounge with the other children
doing whatever children are doing.
“MaCele” I turn to Qaphile.
“Gatsheni how are you?” he sighs.
“I don't know why he didn't tell us
anything ”
I just nod and throw the peeled
potatoes inside the pot before closing
it.
“Kuzolunga( It will be ok)He seems
better today”
“If you say so”
“I will dish up just now” I say
“No I will get Thokozile and Sizile to
do so” I nod.
“Ok” he turns and walks out.
_____
It's the next day and I am doing what
I am usually doing. I am hopeful that
he will be better and he has to be
because Sikelela still needs his father
present.
“Bhuti" he looks at me.
“Its ok I forgot” I say. I don't want to
ask him questions. I will ask when he
is better.
“Sikelela is going to start the big
school next year.” I say
“He is excited he told me” he
chuckles then coughs.
“He is.He just wants the year to end”
“If I was an ancestor. I would bless
you and Qaphile with your own
children ” he says and I stop what I
am doing before I carry on.
“Yeah. Kodwa sisakudinga uphila (we
need you healthy)” I say.
“I will be healthy and see my Sikelela
off to school. I promised” he says.
I smile at him then clean his room.
Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22

“Take this candle”

I open the lights and look at them
squashed on the bed. Sikelela laying
ontop of Sizwe with the others
surrounding them. I didn't know
where to start answering when
questions were going to be asked my
way. I didn't know how I would handle
the whole situation and still say ‘Its
ok’. He won't understand he wouldn't
understand that is what I concluded.
He is stuck in his own world of being
happy and carefree of which he
should be. Tears stream down my
cheeks and I wipe them quickly
before turning off the lights and
closing the door.
The cries still echo in my head
though they are not there anymore. I
don't know where Qaphile has
disappeared off to at this moment. I
go to the lounge and everything has
been shifted. She is seated on the
mattress covering her eyes with the
blanket just she could cry silently.
She lost a child. Someone that came
out of her womb. That she groomed
to the person that he grew up to be. I
know her pain and it feels the same.
It takes me to the losses I have had.
She may have 6 more boys left but
he was also part of her life. I feel
sorry for Sikelela who will grow up
without his biological parents around.
I feel sorry for Qaphile's mother. I feel
sorry for everyone.
“Mah can I get you anything?” she is
not looking up.
I sigh bitting my bottom lip preventing
myself from crying in any manner. I
move away from the lounge and I go
to the bedroom. I close the door and I
sit on the bed. I take off my shoes
and curl myself while staring at the
wall. I don't know where I should start
with the funeral preparations or what
I should do at this point. No one is
here at the moment. I don't know
where they all left to and left me with
the kids and their parents. I don't
know if they checking if really their
brother is no more or he is still alive
but in deep sleep. The nurse warned
us and we had to be prepared but I
was the one who was prepared. Non
of them were prepared for his death.
He said he would be ok and he made
a promise to take Sikelela to school
the following year. He made a
promise to his son but he didn't fight
to stay until he sees him off to school.
He kept on thanking me.He kept on
saying he would be there for his son
no matter what and I believed that he
would be there for him and would live
longer. I did my end of the job but
why couldn't he ? I hear the door
opening and I wipe the involuntarily
falling tears.
“Dali wami”He says so softly that it is
almost not audible.
I sit up on the bed and he closes the
door coming towards me.Darkness
consumes the whole room. He falls
into my arms and he starts crying.
“It will be ok. He is resting now and is
away from all the pain” my voice is
breaking as I am speaking.
His shoulders move as he is crying.
He smells of nicotine as well. My top
is getting wet but I let him be.
“I don't know what we are going to do
but I am here for you Sthandwa
Sami. I am not going anywhere”I
quickly say.
_____
He was the the second person to be
buried on the soil of these yards. My
child was the first human to be
buried. I couldn't explain what was
going on to Sikelela but all I could
say was ‘Baba will look after you from
above’. I know that he is taking this
well because he doesn't really know
what is going on. He is only 4 years
old and it can't register well in his
mind. The funeral was dignified and
everyone came to the funeral to say
the final good byes. Gossips were
flowing around that it's the city
diseases that must have killed him as
nothing herbal worked for him like it
does for the others.
We were at the kitchen in the house
washing dishes. Thoko was here as
well helping me around. She came as
soon as Zabanyathi told her what
happened and the next morning she
caught a taxi coming here. She has
been very helpful because I didn't
know what to do after everything. We
had just finished dishing up for
people who come from far and after
the burial people left.
“I am going to clean the rondaval” I
say
“Ok” I leave her there and go to the
rondaval.
I get inside and the blanket he was
sleeping with is gone. Sizile burned it
after the mortuary called us to come
and fetch it after we covered his body
with it. She said no one would use
the blanket anymore. I placed the
bucket on the floor and I went to the
window and I opened it and wrapped
the lace curtain properly. I go to
Nqobimpi’s bag that had the things
he came with inside. I opened inside
and there was his clothes Cell phone
and wallet was also in there. I packed
everything that is his in the bag that
was laying around before I took the
bag and shoved it in the wardrobe in
the room.
I made the bed properly before I
started sweeping around the room. I
got done and then I went on my
knees and started wiping the floor in
all places in the room and after I was
done I let it dry for some time before I
took some red polish and went to
apply it on the floor.
“Khethiwe” I ignored the person
calling for me.
“Khethiwe!”
“What?!” I look up and it's
Nokwenkosi.
“You don't have to clean the room
now. We can do it tomorrow come
and eat” she says.
“I am fine I will eat. Where is Sikelela
and Sizwe?” I ask.
“They are playing around. Khethiwe
listen to me” I look at her.
“What is going on?”she asks.
“About?”
“You are all over. Why did you stop
doing bead work?”she places hands
on her hips.
“I don't like it anymore” I say
“You used to love it and was great in
it so why did you stop?”
“Qaphile and the kids need my time”
She scoff as she looks at me.
“Qaphile doesn't mind and I asked
him. He said you broke all your
beads”
“Yes”
“What is wrong?”
“Its nothing Nokwenkosi I just don't
want to do it anymore”
“So you just woke up and don't want
to do it?”I bite my bottom lip.
“Its Joyce” I say
“What did she do?”she says.
I sigh and look down.
“She said I can't give Qaphile
children of which she is right. The
beads took me back to loosing
Nkanyezi. It•••it••”I sigh.
“Don’t think that. Khethiwe I know
Loosing a person is hard but it will be
ok” I nod and smile.
“Ok” I turn around and finish my
work.

I finished my work and went to the

water drum outside to wash up
before I went to the main house. I
dished up and went to the bedroom. I
entered and sat down on the bed
next to Qaphile.
“Asidle (Let's eat)” I say
I start feeding myself and he would
feed himself as well.
“We have to sell Nqobimpi’s house”
Qaphile says.
“Don’t. Thoko said it would be a good
investment to not sell it but keep it for
Sikelela by renting it out. We will
receive money”
Sponsored
Qaphile says.
“Don’t. Thoko said it would be a good
investment to not sell it but keep it for
Sikelela by renting it out. We will
receive money” I say
“Money is not a problem” he says.
“I know Sthandwa Sami but she
made sense.” he nods and smiles
before perking my lips.
“Unezidlathana muntu wami(You
have some chubby cheeks)” I hut his
shoulder playfully.
“I always had them hawu Qaphile” he
chuckles.
“But you are beautiful” I blush.
“Thank you” we ate together until we
finished the food.
_____
We are back in Durban and it's hard
to sink in that Nqobimpi is no more
but we are getting it day by day. The
dizzy spells would not stop but now
they are worse than before
accompanied by nausea. I have
never felt like this before. Thoko has
a day off from the factory so she said
she will come and visit me. We are
really getting along very well and she
is now a person I can say is my
friend. I was cleaning my house just
so she comes to a clean house when
I hear her shout.
“MaKhethi woza uzovula(Come and
open)!”she shouts.
I take the keys and I go out to open
the gate.She is in her shorts today
with a vest. She is always stylish and
her nails never forgotten on having
nail polish. I lock the gate as she
walks past me with a plastic in her
hand.
“Yoh it's hot outside. I wish there was
risho from the taxi stop to your home
because I feel tired” she says.
“Let me get you something to drink” I
go to the fridge and get some cold
drink.
“I bought some juice and chips for the
kids” she says
“Thank you. They will be happy” I go
and give her the beverage.
She gulps it up.
“So Khethiwe tell me. When were you
going to tell me your friend that you
are pregnant” I look at her confuse.
“Pregnant?”
“Haibo I have a busy eye and this
dizzy things you were having. I don't
have to be a mother or doctor or
nurse for that matter to know that
wena umithi(that you are pregnant)”
she says.
“We can go to the clinic tomorrow” I
nod and touch my stomach.
“Feel how hard it is yerr” she presses
her hand on my stomach.
“Haibo Thoko stop it” she does.
“Nami sengifuna uzaba Jnr(I also
want Zaba Jnr)” we both laugh.
“Let me leave you and your
nonsense” I say
_____
Zaba fetched Thoko later and she
left. The children came back and I
went to wash their uniform. Oyi was
telling me about her day as I was
washing their clothes. Qaphile came
back when they were in bed. He got
in the bedroom and dumped the taxi
keys on the headboard.
“Dali wami” he gets on the bed and
kisses my lips hovering me. I break
the kiss.
“How was your day?”
“Tirering” he sighs.
“Well rest while I get your food” he
nods and rolls off the bed.
I want to tell him what Thoko said but
I am scared. What if I am pregnant
and I loose this child again ? I am not
prepared for that.
Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
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I didn't know how to feel when I found
out I was pregnant but excited wasn't
one of it. There was a glimpse of
happiness in me but for how long
would it be lived for. For how long will
this happiness be stretched for?
When I found out I didn't tell Qaphile
at first but I was forced to tell him
now because I was showing. It has
been months now in my marriage
and I am enjoying it. Thoko still takes
me to the museum from time to time
when she has time and I really like
going there. The kids are on holiday
so that means all of them went to
Msinga and Oyi will come back
earlier and go to her mother. I haven't
had any bad encounters with Joyce
and I don't want to have any of those
anytime soon.
I was just done with bathing and I
went to the bedroom to get dressed.
“Dali wami” I hear him call for me.
I quickly got dressed and went to the
lounge. He is laying on the couch and
came back much early today from the
meeting that he said he would be
attending. Him and his brothers have
been planning on buying another
route but in pietermaritzburg. I don't
know the process of it but Qaphile
has been talking about it all the time.
“How are you?
“I am tired” he says and pulls me to
his lap.
“You smells nice” he sniffs me as he
pulls me close to him.
“I have just finished bathing right
now.” I say
“Mmh” I look at him as he closes his
eyes for a moment.
I am scared of mentioning the
situation at hand. He will see that I
am pregnant very soon and it's no
use hiding it away from him.
“Qaphile” he opens his eyes slowly
and looks at me.
“Sthandwa Sami”
“I have something to tell you” I sit
properly.
“Ok” his deep voice that I thought I
am now used to is scaring me at the
moment.
I breathe in and out before I let out a
sigh.
“I am pregnant”
“Mah was suspecious” he says lays
my head on him.
We are now squashed on the couch
together.
“Are you comfortable?”I nod.
“How are you feeling that•••”
“I am happy Sthandwa Sami"
“And what if I fail you again” I say
“You don't fail. We will try until our
ancestors bless us with our child” he
runs his finger on my hair.
“Go and get your doek and comb”he
says.
“Are you not tired?” he shakes his
head.
I get off him and I go and take what
he instructed. I come back and seat
myself between his legs. He takes
the comb and doek before he softly
combs my hair.
“I just relaxed it” I say
“At the salon?” he asks.
“Yes Thoko took me there” he keeps
on combing.
“I love it” I smile
He gets done combing my hair and
ties the doek on my head. It is
secured and he does it better now
than before. He is getting used to
tying the doek on my head. I get up
and sit on him again.
____
I woke up the next morning. The
dizzy spells are not getting better but
I know it is part of this. I am not
feeling anything I had in my previous
pregnancies. Qaphile is still rested in
bed next to me. It's a Saturday and
he sometimes go to the rank or not.
Him and his brothers work very hard
to be where they are.
A knock surfaces from the door and I
hop out of the bed. I take my silk
gown and wear it before I go to the
door. I open and it's a man that I
don't know.
“Hi”
“Khethiwe” I look at Qaphile.
He is attending this man and now I
have moved away. I go to the kitchen
and make something to eat for the
morning. I would love to go to the
beach just now. I want to ask Qaphile
of we could go. He comes back after
a while and looks at me.
“Who is that?” I ask
“One of the drivers”
Sponsored
he says.
“Oh ok. Food is ready” I say
“I will eat just now. I need to sort
something out.”
He goes to the bedroom and I look at
him. What is wrong with him ?
★
“How far along are you?” the nurse
asks.
“I am not sure. I just know that I am
pregnant” I say
She nods.
“With the way it look. It looks like you
are 4 to 5 months pregnant.
“But my stomach is not big” I say with
worry.
Qaphile holds my hand and I look at
him before I look at the nurse.
“You are not eating well Mrs Ndlovu.
Does she eat?” the nurse asks.
“Sometimes and sometimes I have to
feed her ” Qaphile says. I look at
him.
“I do eat”
“Please eat in order for your child to
come out healthy” I nod.
“Is there something that will happen
to the child? She has lost 2 before”
Qaphile says.
“We can do a sonar gram and see if
everything is fine. We will also take in
her blood to test it” I nod.
We get done and leave the hospital.
We are both in silence. We get inside
the car and Qaphile starts the car.
“If everything doesn't go well will you
have another child with Joyce?"
“No Khethiwe! I love you Njena and
what would I be wanting from Joyce.
You are my wife” he seems a bit
angry.
“Polygamy is allowed back home” I
say
“I am not taking anyone else as my
wife Khethiwe and if we don't have
kids it's fine. There is Sizwe and
Sikelela” he says and I nod.
“Ok”
“Are you hungry?”
”Yes” even though I don't want to
eat.
He passes by a shopping center and
goes inside to buy the necessities of
food before he comes back and
hands a plastic to me. I smile and
look at him. He slightly smirks with
the anger now fading away.
“Ngiyabonga Gatsheni(Thank you)”
he smiles while looking out of the
window.
I take out the chips and I start eating
on them. It takes me to the time he
would buy nice things for me when I
visited him at the hostel. The days of
the Hostel were brutal but I enjoyed
them the most. Even now it still feels
like a dream that a man like him
would love me. He would say the
same for himself but I think I am the
lucky one here. To fall in love with
this deep voiced dark skinned man
who loved Khethiwe without knowing
who Khethiwe is. I look at him again
before placing my hand on his thigh
and he sighed placing his hand on
mine.
“Ngiyakuthanda Khethiwe(I love you
Khethiwe)” he says.
“I love you too Gatsheni”
*******************************
He picks up a flower as we are
walking and I stop my tracks. He
fiddles with my hair before looking at
me with admiration.
“Umuhle MaCele(You are beautiful
MaCele)” he says.
“Ngiyabonga(Thank you)” I look down
away from his eyes.
“Kwathi angiku khuzele Ntokazi(I
want to court you)” he says.
I look at him. He comes closer and
hovers me intoxicated me with his
nicotine smell and his perfume from
the city.
“Ngiyakuthanda MaCele (I love you
MaCele)” my heart was beating fast.
My 18 year old eyes looking at this
21 year old creature Infront of me. I
wondered how his parents looked. I
have never seen a man so dark yet
his skin colour compliments his
features very well. A man who has a
very deep voice like he is the higher
force above speaking to his people.
I stepped closer to him wanting him
to kiss me again though I didn't know
anything but I loved what he was
giving me. The feeling of excitement
that I get when he touches me. I
stand on my toes as I hold his hands
and we kissed once more. I am
kissing a boy! I am kissing a boy
again! I gently get myself back and
look at him.
“I want you to take my virginity. I want
you” I say to him.
He is shook for a moment with what I
am saying but relaxes again.
“I want you to wait for marriage” he
says
“I will marry you” he wraps his arms
around me.
******************************************
*****
Chapter 24
CHAPTER 24

Nokwenkosi has left. She called me

and told me that she is leaving going
overseas and she got a job there. I
was very happy for her more than
anything. She worked hard to get
where she is and their situation has
gotten better as they all worked hard
for it. Thoko is going to take me to go
and buy clothes for the child. I
haven't gotten bigger as I have
anticipated I would be and my
stomach is not as big and my first
pregnancy was but I am far now with
the months. I am always waiting for
anything to happen and Qaphile
remind me not to worry about
anything so I try to not worry about
anything. I take my bag and I go and
open for Thoko handing the car key
to her as soon as she reaches me.
She gives me a quick hug and rubs
my stomach.
“You don't get bigger than your
cheeks” she says.
“It worries me ” I say.
“You shouldn't be " we get inside the
car and she adjusts the seat.
“Eyi lamdoda wethu esinawo
nokwenza nje izihlalo(These men
and putting seats like this)” she says
with irritation.
She starts the car and drives off.
“Are you ok Khethiwe?” is the
question she always asks when we
meet.
It's never‘ how are you Khethiwe’ but‘
Are you ok Khethiwe.’ I don't
understand why she asks me this
Everytime but I always give her the
same answer.
“I am fine” I smile.
“Thts good. Where are the kids?”she
asks.
“They are visiting Gatsa” I say
fiddling with my bag to get my phone
out.
“Do you have your camera here? ”
she asks
I smile and take it out if my bag. I
love taking photos with it and Qaphile
doesn't mind going to print out the
photos for me and get anmew film as
it always runs out.
“It is here” she nods.
I look at it and then take a picture of
her. She quickly grabs it from me.
“Ah Khethiwe ” I giggle.
“You are beautiful” she smiles.
“I know.”
We get to town and she parks the car
before we hop out of the car. We go
to the store and she takes off her
shades and puts them in her small
bag. I am following after her.
“You will have a baby girl” she says
as we look at the children's clothes.
“I don't know that” I say
“You are glowing than being ugly”she
has a valid point.
When I was pregnant with Nkanyezi I
wasn't as good looking. I wasn't
glowing and so as Qaphile's mother
mentioning that I will have a boy
child.
“Isnt it considered bad luck to buy
clothes before I give birth?” I ask
“What will the child wear? And do you
think Qaphile knows what to buy?”
there again having a point in what
she is saying.
I take the basket and she puts the
clothes inside. This reminds me of
Sikelela’s mother when we went to
buy things for him. Hours before her
death. She would've warmed up to
him even though she wasn't ready to
have him but I believe that she
would've loved him as how Nqobimpi
loved his son. Soon enough Sikelela
would be starting school and it has
been something that he is very
excited about.
“This looks nice ” Thoko says.

QAPHILE

I throw the little stud away and

Phuthuma comes my way carrying
his clip board. I place my hands in my
pockets and he stops Infront of me.
“Have you went for your round?”
Sponsored
he asks and I nod.
“I did.” he takes a pen and writes on
his clip board.
“How is MaCele?” he asks.
I sigh.
“I would be lying if I knew. ” I say
He folds his arms and stands next to
me.
“What do you mean by that? Khona
okusolayo yini ?(Is there something
you are suspecious about?)”
“I don't know if I make her happy
enough. If I am doing everything for
her and it's enough” I say
“But Khethiwe loves you”
“I love her too and you know that
Bafo kodwa ngicabanga ukuthi lento
ya Joyce nami iyamlimaza.
Kuyimanje njengoba sizoba
nomtwana akajabule ngakendlela
ebengicabanga ngayo(But I think that
it's this Joyce issue that hurt her.
Even now that we are expecting she
is not as happy as I thought she
would be)” I say
“Khumbula ukuthi nalahlekelwa
abantwana ekuqaleni. Unovalo
okwamanje usazoba kahle (
Remember that you have lost kids
before. She is scared for now but she
will be ok)” I nod.
“And now that we are getting a new
route you need to buy MaCele her
own car” he says smiling.
“I will do so Bhuti thank you”
“Let me go and check on Fezihle”he
says while walking away.
I am worried about Khethiwe but
Phuthuma is right. She is scared and
it is very understandable. Joyce and I
were a mistake that happened
resulting in a child. I don't want my
wife feeling like she is second best all
the time when she is not.

NOKWENKOSI

I had landed in Liverpool just a few

days ago and the weather here is
very cold. I left South Africa’s warm
weather for this but I am grateful for
the opportunity ahead. I am all alone
in a new place where everywhere I
turn there are white people more than
black. I have lived in the village for far
too long and being in Johannesburg
was preparation for me to come
here.
I headed to the market to buy some
vegetables so that I can go and cook.
The cold ness I could feel it in my
bones and it was too much for me. I
bought what I needed and my cell
phone rang. I took it out of my coat
as I answered.
“Nurse Ndlovu we need some staff
here at the hospital quickly”I have
gotten tired of correcting people in
pronouncing my surname as properly
as could be.
At home we don't have English
names because my father hated it.
He said that we are Zulu and black
so why should we have a white
person's name and we never had
one. It is hard for people to
pronounce my name especially the
white people I work with that I have
shortened it to better them.
I get home and change before I left to
catch a bus to the hospital. I get there
in time and make my way in.
“Ms Nokhwe” I turn around.
“Good day Doctor Barnes” I smile
and check myself in as he does the
same.
“Which parts of the world are you
from again?” he asks.
“South Africa” I say
“I sympathize with what is going on
there” I scoff.
“Don’t. Your country started this” I
say
He is silent for a moment.
“Good bye Doctor” I say.
He holds my hand.
“Not all of us are the same Nokhwe”
he says
“Its Nokwenkosi and thank you” I
walk away from him.

KHETHIWE

Nokwenkosi has called me and he

told me how it is where she is. I just
hope that she will be ok and comes
back safe if she will come back. I am
packing the clothes that Thoko and I
had bought and they were quiet
much. She didn't want to leave the
store without buying majority of the
stuff there. She even called Zaba to
come and bring more money to buy
and he did.
He loves her and would do anything
for her that I had notcieed just like
Qaphile. He does everything that
makes me happy and does his best
as a husband and I wouldn't thank his
ancestors for having him choose me.
I sit down on the bed when I stumble
upon my old bag that I came with
here. The one that contains all the
things from home and things that
remind me of my family back home. I
take out the bead bag that is made
out of cow skin. My grandmother
gave this to me when I had mastered
how to do beading very well. At times
I did miss home over the years
because I felt like I didn't belong
where I was. It wasn't my home but
now I have my own home and a
place that I could claim without being
a wonderer. Qaphile gave me that
and I would forever be grateful.
Chapter 25
CHAPTER 25
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The sharp pain that surfaced at the
back and the wetness between my
thighs was what woke me up. I
couldn't find it in myself to look down
or touch between my thighs and for
my hands to come back bloody. I
look at Qaphile who is peacefully
sleeping in bed. I didn't know how we
would handle everything if the reality
of loosing this child is coming true but
the pain surfacing on my back is what
was more painful. I quickly shook him
and he groaned in his sleep.
“Qaphile Vuka(wake up)Something is
happening” I quickly say
“Sthandwa Sami what is happening?”
he says opening the light of the
beside lamp.
“I am having pain on my back and I
feel liquid under me.” I quickly say
He sits up straight and looks at me.
“Whay should we do?”
“I don't know I am afraid to look. ” I
say
“Let me call Zaba” he says and I
nod.
He quickly takes his phone and
makes the call. I place a hand on my
back and try to breathe in and out to
try and make myself not feel the pain
but it is there and very much sharp.
“Come let's go to the hospital.” he
goes and wears his pants and top
and comes to help me out of the
bed.
I look at it and it's just clear and wet
which means the baby is
coming.Nokwenkosi has told me this
before and so as Thoko as well
reminding me that the water will
break when I am about to give birth.
Qaphile helps me into a dress and all
my wet clothes are discarded on the
bed. He takes my bag and his car
keys and picks me up taking me to
the car. I am placed inside before he
rushes off to lock the house and
come back. The pain that is surfacing
on my back is something that I could
not bare at all. He gets in the car and
we are off to the hospital after that.
★
Those were the longest hours off my
life being in labour. The constant pain
wast helping either that I felt it all
numb my lower body. I slept after
giving birth I felt tired and needed a
bit of rest. The baby cries within the
maternity ward was what woke me up
later on. We are sharing the ward
with 6-7 If not 8 other women who
had just given birth. The only thing
that is seperating us is the curtains all
around and beside us. I look at
Qaphile who is holding our child in
his arms. He is smiling and seems
very happy than I am feeling.
“Dali wami” he says when he seems
me all awake.
“Hi” he comes close with the child.
“Your mother is awake.” he looks at
me and smiles before holding my
hand.
“Ngiyabonga MaCele ngokunginika
indodana (Thank you MaCele for
giving me a son)” I smile.
“Let me see him” I say.
He lays the baby in my arms and
fiddles with my bag getting the
camera before he takes a picture of
us. I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel
the love I had for Sizwe and Sikelela
when I first held them in my arms. It
was different with this one. I had
always wished for a child and now
that I have a child in my arms I don't
feel the mother's love that I should
have. I look at him fisting his tiny
hands and squirming. His eyss are
shut closed but I know that he is alive
and breathing. Maybe it is because I
am tired and I feel like I need more
rest.
“He has big eyes” Qaphile says.
“Really?" He nods.
“What should you name him?” I ask
“I named him Snazozonke. It is
because I have everything with you in
the world”He says.
I love the name that he has given
him. I couldn't stop smiling after that
statement. I gave the child back to
him and he gladly took him.
“Awu Popayi wami ” he chuckled
after saying that.
____
My bed side is filled with treats. Nice
treats and a fruit basket bought all by
my husband. His brothers are here
now filled withing the room with
Thoko and Gatsa’s woman. They are
all over little Nazo and Sikelela can't
stop asking when he can touch the
child as well. He wants to hold him in
his arms. It reminds me off Oyi when
she once held Sikelela in her arms
because he was crying. I asked them
to seat him on me before giving him
the child and he smiles looking at
me.
“Nami mama Sengingu Bhuti
omdala?(I am now a big brother too
mama?)” he asks in facination of
holding a child in his arms.
I am sure somehow in his head he
thinks this is a doll with the way he is
playing with him.
“Yes wena Mfana wami(Yes my
boy)”he is thrilled to hear that
response.
“He wants someone to control now”
Zaba says and they laugh.
“Please leave him alone” I quickly
say.
“How was labour?” Thoko asks.
“It was bad but now I am ok” I say
“We still need you to make more
Little Ndlovu's with Qaphile”
Sponsored
Phuthuma says.
“We will wait just a bit” Qaphile says.
.
.
We are back home. I was taught the
things I already knew about taking
care of a child. The kids will be back
as off next week as they have school
during that time. Qaphile left to go
and asses the issues at the taxi rank
and I am stuck here at home doing
some home chores and making food
for Nazo.
I hear his sharp cry from the kitchen
as I am warming up his bottle and I
cover my ears and bang the bottle on
the kitchen table.
“Yini ! Yini! Ufunani ! ( what do you
want?!)” he doesn't stop crying.
I take the bottle and I go to the
bedroom. I just put him down to be
recently and he is making noise.
“Keep quiet I am trying to make some
food for you” I quickly say but he
doesn't keep quiet.
I take the hot bottle and shove it in
his mouth.
“Drink so you can keep quiet. You
always cry” he spits it out crying more
than ever.
“Makhethi!” It's Thoko. She drops her
bags and quickly takes the child from
my arms.
“Haibo Khethiwe what is wrong with
you?!” she takes the bottle and feels
it.
“This is God damn hot you shouldn't
feed him that ” he tries to hush him.
“He is my child ” I say
“I don't care he is a child.” I click my
tongue and go to the other room and
I shut the door locking myself inside
before I threw myself on the bed.
A knock come from the door.
“Khethiwe open up here!” Thoko
shouts.
I could still hear the screaming
sounds. I scream as well before
taking the pillow and cover my ears.
“Khethiwe open here or I am calling
Qaphile!” I ignore her.
She should just leave me alone and
shut that baby up.
____
“Khethiwe it's Me Qaphile” I open my
eyes to the knock and sound of his
voice.
It is dark outside and I don't know
what Thoko did with Nazo. All I know
is that I don't want him near me at the
moment.
“Khethiwe open up” I sigh and get off
the bed slowly before I go and open
the door.
He is looking at me as I look down.
“I am sorry” I quickly say.
“Why? What did he do?” he asks.
“He was crying too much and I did try
to feed him” I say
“By giving him a hot bottle Khethiwe
ingane ishile manje!(The child is
burnt now!)” he grabs my shoulders
quickly and pushes me on the bed
roughly.
He takes off his belt and Phuthuma
quickly gets in the room before
anything further could happen. I
cover my face and tears stream down
from my eyes.
“Bafo no. This is your wife you can't
do that no matter what?” Qaphile
clicks his tongue throwing the belt on
the bed before walking out.
Phuthuma helps me sit up on the bed
as I cry.
“He was crying too much Bhuti” I say
“It will be ok Sisi. He is fine. Qaphile
will come back when he has cooled
down ok?”I nod.
“I love Qaphile. I don't want to upset
him” I say
“I know sisi. I know you love him” I
nod.
“Let me go and check on him” he
leaves me there and I cry while laying
on the bed.

I know it is short but I will make a

continuation for this one.
Chapter 26
PART 4
CHAPTER 26

“Nazo stop running around !” he

stops his tracks.
“Mama Sikelela yanJaha(Sikelela is
chasing me )” he says standing
Infront of the bathroom frame.
“Are you back chatting me?” I place
my hands on my hips looking at him.
“Run Nazo!” Sikelela appears.
“Sikelela stop playing inside the
house and Nazo go and clean those
toys you left on the floor before I
come and smack you now !” I shout
He looks at me bitting his bottom lip
before Sizwe comes and takes his
hand.
“Come let's go outside” He says.
I huff and remove my hands from my
hips and carry on with the washing in
the bath tub.
“I could hear you all the way from the
gate” I lift my head and look at him.
“He doesn't listen to me ” I say
“He is only 3 years old Khethiwe” he
says
“Sikelela could listen to me by then” I
say and throw the next load in the
bathtub
“Are you going to love our kids?” he
scoffs as he says that.
“What do you mean ?” I ask
“Nazo is an example” he says.
“I don't hate him”
“Fix yourself ngoba kuyonakala
manje.( Because it is getting messy
now)” he says.
He moves away and I look at the
empty door way before I sigh and
carry on with my duties. I have been
trying to get along with Nazo but
each time he just irrtates me more as
I see more of his face or hear his
voice. Everything just irritates me so
much. I finish washing and I take it
and put it in a dish after rinsing and I
go outside. The toys are all packed
up from the floor as I passed the
lounge. Sizwe is carrying Nazo on his
back while Sikelela is running after
them.
“Where is your father ?” I ask
“He left Mama. He said he left
something for you” Sizwe says and I
nod.
I go to the washing line at the back
and I hang everything up. After I am
done I go back into the main house
and I go and take Nazo’s food to feed
him. I go outside and stand by the
stoep with the bowel.
“Nazo come and eat”Sizwe brings
him over and I take him.
I go inside the house with him and
put him on my lap before I start
feeding him his porridge.
“Open your mouth” he does and
looks at me as he chews a bit before
opening his mouth again.
“Mama” I look at him.
“Mmh?”
“Mama yaxolisa kuthi eh he futhi
Sikelela yanjaha yaxolisa mama
(Mama I am sorry that eh he and
Sikelela was chasing me I am sorry)”
he is trying to piece his words
together.
He fiddles with his tiny fingers as I
make him open his mouth for another
spoon before I spoke.
“Stop bothering me ok?” he nods and
I give him another spoon again.
After I am done I let him go and play
with his brothers. I wash the dishes
before I go to the bedroom and there
is a box on the bed. I go to it and I
take it into my hands and open
inside. It is our wedding picture
frames and big. The last picture we
had was small butthis one is big. I run
my fingers on the glass. It feels like
yesterday when Qaphile and I Got
married. Where he kept his promise
of marrying me since we were young.
I hear a car outside and I put the
picture on the bed and I go to the
door. I wait for the car to park before
he hops out of the car with two
plastics in his hand. Nazo rushes to
his father and he is picked up with
one hand as they walk towards me. I
move out of the way and let him in.
_____

QAPHILE
Khethiwe is a woman who is
sweetKind caring and very selfless
above everything else. She is the
woman who is the glue to this family.
Our motivation to everything we do
because she takes care of us and our
children's needs the most. I fell in
love with that character but it started
fading slowly and surely. She is not
the same Khethiwe anymore. She
snaps quickly and gets irritated by
the little things that Nazo does. We
have always wanted a child together
and she wanted one the most and we
got blessed by our ancestors and this
happens. I don't know what to do and
I have tried everything I could. It is
like she is crazy at this point. The
shouting is too much and I can't
handle it. I need my wife to be the
person she once was.
“Dp you like it?” I have placed Nazo
on the floor and he ran out of the
bedroom.
I can see she has opened the gift I
presented to her and maybe she will
be ok and remember the promises
we made to each other and I never
intend on breaking them.
“Its beautiful”she smiles widely and
sits on the bed.
She holds the frame in her hands and
runs her fingers along it.
“It feels like we got married
yesterday” she says.
“We were happy Sthandwa sami”
Sponsored
she says.
“We were happy Sthandwa sami” she
looks at me.
“We still are ”
“We are not entirely happy” she
frowns.
“What do you mean? We are
married. We have a child”
“But we are not enjoying our
marriage like we should be enjoying
it. Sthandwa Sami what is wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong. I am fine Qaphile”
she throws her hands in the air and I
hold them.
“Angilwi (I am not fighting)” I say
She keeps her silence and I sigh.
“I am worried. You have changed” I
say
“I didn't change. I am ok” this is
pointless.
“Ok” I kiss her forehead and hug her.
I don't know what to do at this point.

KHETHIWE

It's early hours of morning and I am

looking at him as he is searching for
the taxi keys so that he would leave
as he is done with eating. I pull my
gown together and tie it properly
before he finally finds the key.
“Sthandwa Sami” I say and he looks
at me.
“I will try. I don't know what's wrong
with me but I will try fixing it” I say
He comes towards me and holds my
shoulders.
“I just want you to tell me what is
wrong and be honest so that we can
find a solution” I sigh.
“I don't know how to say this” I bit my
bottom lip.
I look away from his eyes.
“Tell me ” he says and I sigh.
“I•••I” I look at him.
“I will be ok" I smile.
He looks at me for a while before he
sighs and closes his eyes. I couldn't
tell him that I just don't feel anything
for Nazo. I don't know how to love
Nazo . That would be much trouble.
“I will see you then ” he kisses my
lips before he rushes out of the
house after that.
I am left standing there like a lost
somebody. What kind of person is
irritated by their child this much. Their
meer presence is just too much to
suffocate me.
★
Later on the day the boys are all
playing outside which gives me time
to sleep and breathe for a while. I
love sleeping more than anything
now. I have never really been a
person to do so but now since the
past 3 years I feel like it's the only
place that I find peace in it and
escape the real world for a moment.
Where I can forget that Khethiwe
actually exists.
“Khethiwe!” someone shakes me out
of my sleep.
I groan and open my eyes sitting up
and I rub my eyes and look at Thoko.
She has a worried look on her face.
“How long have you been sleeping?”
she asks.
“I don't know. What are you doing
here?” I ask
“You are my friend nje” she says
“Oh” I stretch myself.
She looks at me for a while before
she takes my hand into her's.
“You know I love you so much
Khethiwe. You are a sister to me now
and this worries me your behavior”
she says.
“What behavior?”
“You act like a crazy person
sometimes” she says
“I am not Crazy Thokozile !”
“You see? You are shouting for no
reason. Maybe we should take you
enhlanyeni(To a mental institution)” I
shoot her a look.
“I am not crazy and I am not sick!”
“Uthakathiwe ke(You are bewitched
then)” I cove my ears. She removes
my hands.
“I don't believe in traditional things. I
have prayed for you but it doesn't
seem to work. I work close to a
mental institution and ngathi yazi
angiyobuza kuza abanjani (I said you
know what let me go and ask who
can come there )and I want you to go
there and maybe you would be
better. I see people who get helped”
“I don't want to leave my kids Thoko
they will lock me inside” I cry.
“You are not ok Khethiwe. I have
seen it since I first saw you but now
you are just worse and I asked you if
you are ok everytime” she says.
She runs her red pained nails
through my hair.
“I am ok Thoko. I will be ok” she hugs
me and I carry on crying on her
chest.
“Phephisa sisi. Everything will be ok.
You are going to be much danger to
Nazo. Do this for him and Qaphile if
you and him hate it then I will leave
you”
She carries on brushing my back.
Chapter 27
CHAPTER 27

I was seated on the bed as I waited

for Qaphile to walk in after talking to
Thoko. It's at night now and the kids
are already in their bed asleep. I am
waiting in anticipation of what
Qaphile would sayI don't want to go
because I know that I am not crazy
as they make me seem. I am ok in
my defence and I haven't noticed any
changes about myself. I am still the
same Khethiwe known to be.
The door opens and I look up to the
both of them as they walk in. Qaphile
comes forth and crouches infront of
me before taking my hands into his
and he signs. I look at Thoko whole
standing by the door looking at us
with a bit of a worried look on her
face.
“Thoko raised some issues that were
very important” he says
“I don't want to goI don't want to
leave” My voice is breaking.
“Its beneficial for everyone
Khethiwe.”Thoko says
“Qaphile I am ok. You know me
better than anyone” I place my hands
on his face and he signs.
“You are not the same Khethiwe.”
tears stream down my cheeks.
“Please Babakhe please” I beg.
“I don't know this thing but I don't
want to give it a try. Anything to help
you sthandwa sami.”
“Lets pack your bag” Thoko says.
“No Qaphile No please I am sorry!” I
keep on crying. I go on my knees to
his level before he stands up.
I am begging him and crying as
Thoko and himself pack my things
into a suitcase.
“I am sorry Gatsheni please” He
doesn't listen to me.
They get done and Qaphile picks me
up. I hold onto him as I am crying. I
don't want to let go of him he
shouldn't leave me in a place that I
don't know. I am not one to be with
crazy people that I don't know. I do
know that I am not crazy at all.
_______
Everyone is here. I don't know why
they are all agreeing to this madness.
I haven't tried since we came here. I
ran out of tears when I was crying
and begging in the car. I feel drained
as it already. Phuthuma comes and
sits next to me as the rest are at the
reception lady. I am quiet staring at
them giving me away to this place.
“Sisi••” he says and I look at him.
“We care about you. This comes from
a very good place” he says.
“Nizongilahla?(Are you abandoning
me ?)”
“No we would never do that” I would
the corner of my eyes.
“Khethiwe Ndlovu” we look up and
the nurse is calling me.
“Come let's go”He takes my bag as
we stand up.
We go towards her and she smiles
looking at me.
“There are tests that need to be done
and you will see your psychologist
tomorrow and later on you would go
for a psychiatric evaluation.”She
says
“Will she be ok?” Zaba asks.
“She is in good hands. I am glad you
brought her in” the nurse smiles.
“Am I staying with crazy people?” I
ask softly.
“It’s people suffering disorders. Not
alot of black people believe in mental
health issues than white people. You
are our first black patient in this
institution” The nurse says.
I look at her.
“Come let's go and show you your
room”
“Can I talk to her for a while?”
Qaphile asks and the nurse nods.
He takes my hand and we move a bit
far. He pulls me into his arms and I
heave a deep sigh.
“I love you Khethiwe. Everything I do
is for you to make you happy.” he
says
“I won't be happy here” I say
“Do it for me then Dali wami” he says
I just not slowly feeling a lump
suffocating me.
“I will see you everyday. I will visit
everyday I promise” he says
“You promise?” I ask
“I promise Sthandwa sami” I nod.
“Come let's go”
We move from each other and he
takes me back to the nurse. I say my
good byes before we walk away.
They disappear from my eyes as we
walk further through the passage.
They are dark well maybe it is
because it is night time. I breathe in
and out already feeling very scared
and agitated. We get to a room and
she opens. There is an empty bed
with White sheets. The room has one
cupboard and then there is a window
looking out into the garden. The
nurse goes and closes the curtains.
There are burglar gates attached to
the window frame.
“You may rest.” I nod as she walks
out and I slowly sit myself on the
bed.
I start sobbing after that.

Morning came early. It felt weird to

not wake up and go prepare Qaphile
for work. The door opens and the
nurse walks in and she smiles.
“Good morning” I just nod. She is not
the one from last night.
“Have you bathed?” I shake my
head.
“Ok go and bath and I will breakfast
so long. Is there anything you don't
eat?”
Sponsored
she asks.
“Fish”I say
I couldn't master the method of
removing the bones properly since I
came here.
“Ok let me go get your food.”I nod.
She takes me through the passage
as I have my things in my hands
leading me to the bathrooms. I get
there and I thank her. She tells me to
bath and she will take me back. I get
to see the shower once again. The
last time I used it was the Hostel
days. I quickly get myself bathed
before I hope out and get dressed
quickly. I am done and I am
escourted back to my room. I sit
patiently looking out the door window
after I am done doing my bed. The
room is brightened up and upon me
looking at the garden outside. It is
beautiful and can't certainly be
missed.
“Here is your food” I thank the lady.
It's something I am not used to and
have never eaten before.
I eat anyway and I am done. I get
sent to see a psychologist after that. I
am scared and nervous I just want to
go back home right now.
★
I had the most today. I couldn't keep
up with anything. I will see the
psychologist and go for evaluation
again. The psychologist was asking
me for questions to tell her about
myself. I was uncomfortable talking to
someone I didn't know and she said I
will get used to her with time.
“Mrs Ndlovu your husband is here”
the mention of Qaphile being here
gives me relief.
I am escourted to him at the garden.
He is smoking his cigarette. There
are other people also here. I feel like
I am out of placing seeing white
people around us right now. He gets
done and throws the stud away
before rubbing his hands and pulls
me into his arms.
“Dali wami”
“I want to come home Qaphile” I say
“Give this a month” I sigh.
'
“The boys are missing you ready” he
says
“Don’t tell them where I am”
“Okay”
We seat ourselves down on the
bench. The states around us make
me feel uncomfortable as we are
seated. When visiting time was over I
was taken back to my room.
_____
“So Khethiwe tell me more.” she
smiles at me.
“I met Qaphile on my aunt's wedding
day.” I say
“You love him?” I smile
“He is everything to me”
With much pride in my voice. She
smiles looking at me.
“Tell me about the kids. You
mentioned the kids” she says.
“They are 4 of them. 3 boys and a
girl” I say
“Who is the oldest?”
“Sizwe” she nods and writes down on
her book.
“When did you have Sizwe and is
your husband the father?” she asks.
“Sizwe is my brother in law's child
Phuthumahe doesn't have a mother”
“What happened to the mother?”
“She doesn't want him” she nods.
“The second one?” she asks.
“Oyintandokazi. She is my husband's
child with Joyce”I say
“How old is she?” she asks.
“10 years”
“So your husband cheated with
Joyce?” I nod
“Tell me if it gets too much for you”
she says
I nod. She hands over the tissue to
me.
“So all of these children are not
yours?”
“Sikelela is my brother's in law's son
Nqobimpi. His mother died after his
birth and his father got sick and died.
Snzazozonke is Mine” I say
“He is your first child I presume” I
shake my head.
“Nkanyezi is••”
*
I am looking outside the window. It
has been two weeks since I came
here and retelling the story of how I
Lost Nkanyezi to me and was hurting.
I didn't want to carry on because I
was crying. Qaphile has been seeing
me everyday as he promised. He did
see me today as well and just seeing
his face calms me. The doctor told
me that I am suffering from
Depression and post trauma as well.
I didn't understand her. I sit there
thinking of Nazo for the first time
since I came here. I am danger to
him. Maybe it's best I stay here and
harm no one.
“Mrs Ndlovu your husband is here” I
look at the nurse before we walk out.
He is seated on our usual bench and
he stands up and hugs me. I fall into
his arms and he holds me tightly. We
let go of each other and sit down.
“How are you?” he asks.
“The doctor said I have Depression
and Post trauma.”
“What is that Sthandwa Sami?” he
holds my hand in his.
“She explained it though I couldn't
hear any of the things she said” I say
“But you will be ok” I just nod.
“I hope so”
“I trust that. The boys miss you” I sigh
and close my eyes.
“I don't think I will come back home.
They say I am not stable and ok so I
want you to tell them I love them.” I
say
“What do you mean Sthandwa
Sami?” he shifts
“Please burn everything that will
remind them of me” I say
“Sizwe is old now and can
understand”
“Please Qaphile”I swallow as he
looks at me with a frown.
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Chapter 28
CHAPTER 28
It has been two months being here in
this place and I am starting to get
used to being here. I am starting to
get much comfortable I would say.
Qaohike visits me every day and
updates me with what is happening
outside this place. My ancestors
blessed me with a great man like
him. I do didn't think he would keep
up seeing me everyday but he does
come in everyday and sit that time
with me before he has to leave.
“Look at you!” It's Zaba.
I see them from a distance. He didn't
come alone today. Even Thoko is
here as well.
“MaKhethi” she comes and hugs
me.
“I am such a bad friend. I should be
visiting you everyday”
“It is fine. How are you?”I ask
“Well you are going to be an aunt that
I would say”she says with a smile on
her face.
“You are pregnant?”she nods.
“Ngaze nganibongela(I am happy for
you)” we share another hug.
We settle down and we all talk. By
the way Thoko is talking she is
hoping that she has a baby boy by
the sound of things but marriage is
not mentioned. I don't think they are
there as yet. They consider
themselves “Young” for that.
“How are you feeling now Khethiwe?”
“The doctor says I am making some
progress” I say
“And we see it MaCele”Phuthuma
says.
I just nod.
“What will you name the child ?” I
ask
“If it's a girl maybe something with a
Z and if it's a boy•••” Zaba interjects.
“Sakhile”he says
“That’s a beautiful name”I say.
“You need to get better and come
back home” Thoko says
“I will see ” I smile lightly.
They say their good byes when it was
their time to leave. I was escorted
back to my room. I found the TV
already open for me. I recently have
been given access to it and that's
basically what I do all day. I watch TV
and see Qaphile. The doctor's visits
have subsided to only twice a week.
NOKWENKOSI

I have went back home once in these

3 years that I have been working
here and I have adjusted to my
surroundings of even though I
sometimes miss home but life seems
better here and so as the pay as well.
Today I wasn't working and so as the
following day. We have been dealing
with more tuberculosis cases more
than anything. HIV/AIDS wasn't as
rapidly rising as back home and we
have been updated that Medication
will be introduced to the world soon.
It's a relief as well. I just wished that
Bhuti held on long enough to get the
medication and he would've been
better. I wish they told me sooner and
maybe just maybe we could've
worked something out. Something's I
am not told or I find out later about
them now that I am far away. I
haven't talked to Khethiwe in a while
and so I called her a few days ago
but it didn't go through. I would try
later on today and see if she is still
well with the kids. I am seated at the
patio of where I am living while
reading a book. Tea is the most
drank thing in this country and I
sometimes think it's because I
couldn't adjust to the cold climates so
I thought maybe that is the reason
they drink tea.
A knock surfaces from the door and I
stand up from where I am placing the
book on the chair and walk inside my
space. I go and open the door and he
is standing there rigid while looking at
me.
“Dr Barnes how may I help you?”
“How are you my lady?”
“I am well thank you”I look at him with
a frown
“May I come in?” I let him in.
“You do hide yourself” he says
“I don't have any friends. My friend is
back home married” I say as he
settles on the couch.
I go and get him some water. I don't
have tea in my house.
“I don't have tea” I say as soon as I
place the glass.
“I don't drink tea. I am not British” I
frown
“You mentioned your friend is
married” he says
“What can I help you with?”
“I am keeping you company Nokhwe”
he says
“Its Nokwe” I emphasise.
“What are you if you are not British?”
I ask.
“I came to study here and got a job
here. I am Italian”
Sponsored
I ask.
“I came to study here and got a job
here. I am Italian” he says
“Oh I see”he smiles as he looks at
me.
“You know what they call you in
French?” I shake my head.
“Belle” he says
“What does that mean?”
“Beautiful”he says
“Okay. I think you should leave” I say
He stands up and comes towards
me.
“What would your father say if I
wanted to marry you?” he asks
coming closer.
“He wouldn't approve.” I quickly says
running out of breath.
“Why?” he is close. His blue shirt
opened a few buttons revealing his
slightly hairy chest. He has rolled up
the sleeves and has white pants on.
He is too close and too tall.
“Be••because I am black and you are
white” I say
He chuckles.
“I am not white. I am Italian” he says
“You are not umzulu either”
“How about we try” he lowers his
head and perks my lips.
“Doctor”he lifts my chin up.
“It's Dante amore”he says
“It's Nokwenkosi” he chuckles
“I will see you tomorrow” he says
He moves to open the door.
“I have waited 3 years now amore It's
time we got married don't you think?”
he says
“You have to pay dowery back home
for me and it will cost you” he
chuckles.
“Anything to have you” he walks out.
I breathe out. My lips have just
touched of another man's. He is white
and something my father wouldn't
approve as much. He has been trying
with me but never went this far and
so close. A white man! Gosh
Nokwenkosi you didn't come here for
that.
I go and put the glass away and get
back to my reading.

QAPHILE

I am at the taxi rank. I couldn't live

with the kids alone so I saw it best
that they all go back home and live
with my parents all 4 of them. I have
just came from doing my round and I
hop out of the taxi. I want Khethiwe to
be ok and if seems as if she is trying
to get back to her old self. The faster
she does that the better. I miss
having my wife around the house it's
quiet and not as warmly as before.
“Qaphile!” It's Joyce.
She doesn't bother me as before. I
made sure she knew her place as the
mother of my child only and nothing
else to me. She got the message as
well.
“What can I do for you Joyce?”
“Can’t I greet you?” she asks.
“How are you ?”
“I am ok. You are always disappear
during the day”she says
“I have things to do”
“Oh I see. Let me leave you” she has
some away from me.
Chapter 29
CHAPTER 29
*THE PRESENT DAY*

I look at him and he smiles at me and

pulls me to lay on his chest and
kisses my forehead.
“I love you Dali wami”
“I love you too Gatsheni” he has
stayed longer today than before.
“How are my grandchildren?” I ask
“You have to come back Now
Sthandwa Sami. Atleast bond with
them” he says
I sit up and look at him.
“They don't know me” I say
“Well they so know you from now on”
I sigh
“Qaphile this is not easy” I say
“It wasn't easy having you not
present beside me for all these years
Khethiwe” I sigh and look at my
hands.
“You are needed and Nokwenkosi is
back from overseas”he says
I nod my head slowly at that moment.
“Ok we can go” he smiles and kisses
my cheeks.
“Come” he takes my hand into his
and we stand up.
We make our way hand in hand
inside the institute and the nurse
approaches us.
“Her bag is all set up”she says
I look at Qaphile and he doesn't say
anything.
I have been here for far too long. I
got out after a few months of being
here the first time but I relapsed after
I had my daughter and after that I
saw it best that I stay her for so long.
They grew up without me and I have
missed everything in their lives. Their
weddings
Sponsored
she says
I look at Qaphile and he doesn't say
anything.
I have been here for far too long. I
got out after a few months of being
here the first time but I relapsed after
I had my daughter and after that I
saw it best that I stay her for so long.
They grew up without me and I have
missed everything in their lives. Their
weddings them growing up and also
loosing Thoko as a good friend. She
was amazing and may her soul rest
in peace where she is. After her
death Zaba couldn't move on. He
didn't find another woman but raised
his son on his own. He loved Thoko
more than anything and he blamed
himself for her death from above
what Qaphile told me. What broke
me the most was hearing about
Sizwe’s death. He was so much to
me. He was everything to me and the
fact that I lost him drove me to a
deep pit hole I never thought I would
come out of but I learner. Learner
that loosing people in your life is part
of life. It stings but you have to hold
on and move forth. It's time now I go
home and be with my husband. It's
time now that I get to know my
grandchildren before I kick the bucket
and leave this earth.
My suitcase is brought to me and
everything is inside. I look around the
place. It has changed over the years
from back then. Upgraded and posh
to be exact. Qaphile always gave me
the best of everything and I would be
forever grateful for such.
“Come” I say my good byes after
signing out and we walk to his car.
It's big and beautiful. Not the Toyota
Supra that we used to use to drive
around the city of Durban in. He puts
the suitcase in the boot and comes to
open the door before helping me
inside. He closes the door and then
goes to his side and gets inside. The
car drives off and light Maskandi
music is playing. He changes it and
plays softer music. Jazz to be exact
and I bobble my head back and forth
listening to the tune. I look outside
the window and the outside looks
very different from the past. It's
magnificent. Qaphile holds my hand
and locks it in his.
I keep my eyes closed while bobbling
my head back and forth to the
music.
“I still have your old Cameras” he
says
I open my eyes and look at him.
“I thought you three them away”
“Those are our memories Khethiwe.
That's where all our pictures were
taken from”I nod.
“Ok”
We get to a quiet area. More quiet
than the township. I see that we are
in a white neighborhood right now.
Qaphile drives into a house and the
gate slides open and he drives
inside. He hops out after parking the
car and he comes to my side.
“Come” he helps me out of the car.
I am nervous as we hop out. I look
around the place .
“Where does Fezihle live again?” I
ask
“Boughton.” I nod.
We walk inside hand in hand and I
look around. It is very traditional with
a modern touch. The house is
spacious and beautiful inside.
“This is your house Mkami. You can
do anything you want with it ” he
says
I smile and turn to look at him before
I embrace him.
“I love you Gatsheni”
“I love you too Sthandwa Sami” he
kisses my forehead.
“Come let me take you to the
bedrooms”
I nod as I follow after him. He takes
me to the bedrooms and I look
around them. There is proof that they
get used once in a while.
“Oyi does visit more often than Nazo
and the rest” he says
“I don't think they all will remember
me”
“That's ok”
“How was the funeral ?” I ask
He told me that Afika recently lost his
daughter and they had just buried her
a few days ago.
“Thats why you had to come back
Sthandwa Sami”
I turn around and look at him.

.
.
.
To be continued...
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