Samuel French Sample Perusal: WWW - Samuelfrench.co - Uk
Samuel French Sample Perusal: WWW - Samuelfrench.co - Uk
SAMPLE PERUSAL
This sample is an excerpt from a
Samuel French title.
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www.samuelfrench.co.uk
PERUSALS
by Sheila Callaghan
samuelfrench.com
Copyright © 2011 by Sheila Callaghan
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Illustration by Carolyn Sewell with permission by
Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company
CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that FEVER/
DREAM is subject to a licensing fee. It is fully protected under the copy-
right laws of the United States of America, the British Commonwealth,
including Canada, and all other countries of the Copyright Union. All
rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lec-
turing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television and the rights of
translation into foreign languages are strictly reserved. In its present
form the play is dedicated to the reading public only.
The amateur and professional live stage performance rights to
FEVER/DREAM are controlled exclusively by Samuel French, Inc., and
licensing arrangements and performance licenses must be secured well
in advance of presentation. PLEASE NOTE that amateur licensing fees
are set upon application in accordance with your producing circum-
stances. When applying for a licensing quotation and a performance
license please give us the number of performances intended, dates of
production, your seating capacity and admission fee. Licensing fees
are payable one week before the opening performance of the play to
Samuel French, Inc., at 45 W. 25th Street, New York, NY 10010.
Licensing fee of the required amount must be paid whether the play
is presented for charity or gain and whether or not admission is charged.
Professional/Stock licensing fees quoted upon application to Samuel
French, Inc.
For all other rights than those stipulated above, apply to: The Gersh
Agency, 41 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10010; attn: Seth Glewen.
Particular emphasis is laid on the question of amateur or professional
readings, permission and terms for which must be secured in writing
from Samuel French, Inc.
Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by
law, and the right of performance is not transferable.
Whenever the play is produced the following notice must appear on
all programs, printing and advertising for the play: “Produced by special
arrangement with Samuel French, Inc.”
Due authorship credit must be given on all programs, printing and
advertising for the play.
No one shall make any changes in this play for the purpose of
production.
In addition the following credit must be given in all programs and pub-
licity information distributed in association with this piece:
AUTHOR’S NOTES
A stroke (/) marks the point of interruption in overlapping dialogue.
When the stroke is not immediately followed by text, the next line
should occur on the last syllable of the word before the slash – not an
overlap but a concise interruption.
Special thanks to Jill Soloway, Leah Hamos, Bryan Joseph Lee, Miriam Weisfeld,
Alana Dietz, Elissa Goetschius, the Occidental College Theatre Department,
the staff of New Dramatists, Sally Ollove, Quincy Long, Dana Eskelson,
Gus Schulenburg, and Flux Theatre.
ACT ONE
7
8 FEVER/DREAM
ROSE. …move…
(SEGIS moves slightly. The girls yelp and run to the other
side of the room.)
SEGIS. CustomerservicehowmayIhelpyou.
ROSE. Oh hi. We’re looking for the 77th floor…
SEGIS. I’msosorrytohearyou’vebeenhavingtroubles.
CLAIRE. He’s nice! He’s nice!
ROSE. Thanks. I think we’re okay now. Looks like you were
just about to have lunch…sorry to bother you….
SEGIS. Thismustbeveryfrustratingforyou!!
ROSE. Um, yeah…
(SEGIS lunges at the two. The girls scream.)
(We see his ankle is chained to his desk. The chair upon
which he sits is stuck to his body, as is the phone receiver.)
SEGIS. I’llconnectyouwithbillingimmediately,thankyouforc
alling!!!
(He lunges again. The girls are less fearful.)
THANK YOU FOR CALLING HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!
ROSE. You’re hurting yourself.
SEGIS. THANK YOU FOR THANK YOU FOR HAVE A
NICE CONNECT YOU WITH SORRY FOR YOUR
INCONVENIENCE INCONVENIENCE PISSING
INTO A DRAIN ON THE FLOOR MACARONI’S ARE
ALREADY COLD STAPLER STOPPED WORKING
THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTEEN MONTHS AGO
WHAT IS THAT SOUND?
(He stops a minute. Listens.)
What is that sound?
(Again.)
It’s me. Talking. To someone else. This is what I sound
like talking to someone else. I have language again.
I’m looking at you. You’re brighter. You are brighter
and you have two eyes. I’m looking at them, they are
looking back. Say something.
FEVER/DREAM 11
(ROSE digs into her bag and pulls out a padded mailer.
She reads the name.)
ROSE. A mister “Aston Martin.”
(He holds out his hand to take the package. ROSE
doesn’t move.)
It says “deliver in person.”
FRED CLOTALDO. Give it to me.
ROSE. (re: SEGIS) What’s he doing down here? Why was he
chained to the desk?
(FRED CLOTALDO turns to his SECURITY GUARDS.)
FRED CLOTALDO. What happens when you go out for a
moccachino? Hm? Exhibit A. So, thank you. Thank
you for this headache. Arrest them.
(The SECURITY GUARDS arrest ROSE and CLAIRE.)
ROSE. This is SO illegal, okay.
(FRED CLOTALDO casually gestures to the NO TRES-
PASSING sign.)
FRED CLOTALDO. I’m assuming you can read.
ROSE. It was an ACCIDENT.
SEGIS. Let them go, Fred.
FRED CLOTALDO. Oh look, you have language again. First
time you’ve said something real to me in months.
Anything more to add?
(SEGIS says nothing.)
Well that’s fine. Month after month I come down to
this stinkhole with books, magazines, articles…I GAVE
you that language, mister.
(He finds SEGIS’s cigarette.)
A WHOLE CIGARETTE? You are just SOPPING in
treasures right now, aren’t you? I don’t suppose you’ll
need that new Swingline any more…
(SEGIS looks desperate.)
SEGIS. I –
16 FEVER/DREAM
STELLA. Bill…
(He exits.)
(We watch as the ASSOCIATES vlog at their desks)
(NOTE: These are completely disaffected youths. Even
when their language is seemingly invested, their tone
and their bodies all convey a studied disinterest and leth-
argy. All engagement should be dripping with sarcasm
and irony. AIR QUOTES.)
ASSOCIATE ONE. Yo yo, it’s J-dawg in the hizzy, welcome to
my vlog yo…
(He sings a popular hiphop song, replacing the lyrics
with various iterations of “my job sucks” or “I hate my
job.”)
ASSOCIATE TWO. I just watched all of Gossip Girl online.
Then I made this necklace out of thumb tacks, sweater
lint and an ink pad. I feel like I’m just like, waiting to
be fired. WORK FAIL.
ASSOCIATE THREE. So, like, I know a lot of you guys out
there are going through stuff like pay cuts and hour
reductions and layoffs and whatevs. But like, here, we
just hired two new people! AND some dude from the
basement is getting a promotion. We’re performing
terribly and Basil’s a fossil, so WTF? Any thoughts? Hit
up my comments yo.
ASSOCIATE FOUR. (the himbo-geek) So, I haven’t had bacon in
a good like, three to four years? And I went down to
the cafeteria for lunch? And I got like, a steak wrapped
in bacon? It tasted like turd. But I liked it.
(Lights out. The basement. Darkness.)
(SEGIS stares at nothing for a bit.)
SEGIS. Rigorous facilitators march through celebrated cor-
ridors.
(He stares at nothing for a bit.)
Calamitous fallacies may arouse base cravings in the
ignorant fanatic.
(He stares at nothing for a bit.)
FEVER/DREAM 31
Interlude
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PERUSALS