Victory Favors The Fearless - Ho - Donnelly, Darrin
Victory Favors The Fearless - Ho - Donnelly, Darrin
THE FEARLESS
HOW TO DEFEAT THE 7 FEARS THAT
HOLD YOU BACK
Darrin Donnelly
Also by Darrin Donnelly
RELENTLESS OPTIMISM
How a Commitment to Positive Thinking Changes Everything
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This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, teams, organizations, and
events are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously to enhance the
setting.
Unless specifically stated elsewhere, this book is not officially associated with, endorsed by,
affiliated with, or sponsored by any of the individuals, entities, companies, teams, or
organizations written about in this book.
This book is part of the Sports for the Soul series. For updates on
this book, a sneak peek at future books, and a free newsletter that
delivers advice and inspiration from top coaches, athletes, and
sports psychologists, join us at: SportsForTheSoul.com .
Title Page
Introduction
CHAPTER 1: Prefight
CHAPTER 2: Fired
CHAPTER 3: Everything Is a Choice
CHAPTER 4: The Fight Against Fear
CHAPTER 5: Faith vs. Fear
CHAPTER 6: The Fear of What Other People Think
CHAPTER 7: Round One
CHAPTER 8: The Fear of Change
CHAPTER 9: Round Two
CHAPTER 10: The Fear of Making the Wrong Decision
CHAPTER 11: Round Thre e
CHAPTER 12: The Fear of Missing Out on Something Better
CHAPTER 13: Round Four
CHAPTER 14: The Fear of Not Being Good Enough
CHAPTER 15: Round Five
CHAPTER 16: The Fear of Failure Being Permanent
CHAPTER 17: Round Six
CHAPTER 18: The Fear of Being "Due" for a Setback
CHAPTER 19: Round Seven
CHAPTER 20: Postfight
About the Author
INTRODUCTION
Darrin Donnelly
SportsForTheSoul.com
“He who is not courageous enough to take risks
will accomplish nothing in life.”
- MUHAMMAD ALI
CHAPTER 1
PREFIGHT
I was working behind the bar and feeling sorry for myself on a quiet
weeknight at Gerry’s Pub when Andre Holiday walked in. I
recognized him right away.
The former super middleweight champion of the world was a
legend in Kansas City. A local hero who rose to the very top of his
profession and inspired the sports world with his courageous story. I
was only two years old when he won his title in 1989, but he was a
hero to me just like he was to everyone else in this city.
He walked into the bar with his chest high and his broad
shoulders pushed back. He looked like he would probably fight as a
heavyweight these days, but as a strong and trim heavyweight. He
was sharply dressed and had a pronounced bounce in his step. He
exuded confidence, but also flashed an approachable smile.
As he walked into the bar, he nodded at the first person he saw—
a patron who did a quick double-take before asking if he could shake
Andre’s hand and take a picture with him. “Of course,” Andre said
with a smile. As the patron snapped the selfie, Andre held his fist up
to the guy’s chin—a pose every former champion seems to have
perfected.
If it hadn’t been for the gray stubble in his beard, I would have
thought Andre was still a pro athlete.
After taking a picture and signing an autograph for the guy who
first noticed him, Andre walked up to the bar and I extended my
hand. “Welcome to Gerry’s, champ.”
He shook my hand. A very firm handshake, one of the firmest I’ve
ever shaken. The guy still had dynamite in his fists.
“What can I get you?” I asked.
“Just a water,” he said. “I’m here on business.”
“Yeah? Looking for someone?”
“I’ve already found him. I’m here to see you.”
The surprised look on my face made him laugh.
“You’re Mickey McGavin, aren’t you?”
“I am,” I said, wondering why this former world champion was
looking for me.
“Well, I hear you’re retiring from the fight game, but you look too
young to retire.”
“It’s not by choice,” I said with an uncomfortable chuckle.
“Everything is a choice ,” Andre shot back. “And the choices
you make, make you. ”
“My trainer gave me the boot,” I said. “It wasn’t my decision.”
“But you haven’t been looking for another trainer, have you?”
I lowered my eyes. “Uh…I guess not.” I had reasoned that if the
best trainer in the city didn’t want anything to do with me, why would
any other trainer?
“So, there you go,” Andre said. “You made the choice to accept
your trainer’s opinion that you should retire. I believe there are two
types of people in this world: Those who believe success is a
choice and those who make excuses for why they’re not
successful. ”
I shot Andre a defensive glare. “You trying to kick a man when
he’s down?” As I said that, the stitches above my still-bruised right
eye gave me an itch, reminding me how I must have looked at the
moment .
“Not at all,” Andre said with a smile. “I came here to tell you I think
it’s a mistake.”
“What’s a mistake?”
“You retiring,” Andre said. “I’ve watched you fight. I think you’ve
got something. It’s raw and it only seems to come out when you’re
not overcome with fear, but it’s there. I think you’ve got something
special and it would be a mistake to walk away.”
I took a moment to wrap my head around what was happening.
One of the city’s most beloved heroes, a former world champion and
a man I had never met before, just walked into the bar looking for me
, a beat-up fighter that the sport had quickly chewed up and spit out.
And this champion wanted to talk me out of quitting. Where was this
coming from?
“I think you’re the first person to tell me it would be a mistake for
me to stop fighting,” I said.
“I don’t doubt that,” Andre said. “And I believe it’s that type of
thinking that is keeping you from becoming the fighter you could
become. You just need to find the right man to guide you. You need
to find someone who can help you overcome all that fear holding you
back.”
“What are you proposing? ”
Andre smiled big. “Mickey, I’d like to be your trainer.”
It’s hard to put into words just how surreal this moment was. Here
I was, at one of the lowest points in my life—coming to terms with
the fact that my dream of pro boxing was over because nobody
wanted anything to do with me—and in walks a former world champ
to not only tell me I should keep fighting, but also that he wants to
train me.
You have to understand who Andre Holiday was and what he
meant to this city. He climbed the boxing ranks back in the 1980s—a
time when boxing’s middleweight division was the best it had ever
been with fighters like Sugar Ray Leonard, “Marvelous” Marvin
Hagler, Thomas “The Hitman” Hearns, and Roberto Duran
dominating the sport.
Andre became a popular fighter because of his perseverance. He
lost four times in his career, but avenged each one of those losses.
In 47 professional fights, he was knocked down sixteen times…but
never knocked out. He had an almost miraculous ability to get back
up from the canvas and take back the fight.
In 1989, at the age of 29, it was finally Andre’s turn to stand atop
his crowded division and he became the undisputed super
middleweight champion of the world.
But that’s not what Andre Holiday is best known for. What he’s
best known for is what happened after he won the title.
A week after winning the belt, Andre bought himself a new car to
celebrate the victory. On a rainy summer night, he lost control of that
car and crashed it into a telephone pole.
He survived the gruesome wreck, but spent weeks in the hospital.
He broke multiple bones and smashed up his left hip and shoulder.
Despite several surgeries and months of intense rehab, Andre’s
shoulder and hip never fully recovered. He couldn’t snap punches
the way he once did and to this day he walked with an uneven gait—
though Andre had turned his would-be limp into a confident bounce.
An instant after reaching the top of his profession and seeing his
years of hard work pay off with a world championship, his career was
over. It was a story that could have been just another unlucky
tragedy in the sports history books .
But that’s not where this story ends.
What made Andre Holiday one of the most beloved sports figures
in this city’s history was how he responded to his career-ending car
wreck.
When it was clear he could no longer participate in the sport he
loved so dearly, Andre reexamined his life and his faith. He went to
college, earned a degree in Psychology, and got heavily involved
with his church. Soon, he was showing up on TV delivering
inspirational messages about how everything happens for a reason.
He became a sought-after motivational speaker, then a bestselling
author, then a serial entrepreneur, and then a real estate developer.
Wherever he went, he preached a message of faith, hope, and
optimism. His enthusiasm was contagious. He endeared himself
even more to the city with his unending charitable work and
fundraising efforts. He was always lending a hand, always helping
raise money for various causes.
Everyone loved the champ. For his feats in the ring, yes, but also
for being the walking embodiment of optimism and perseverance. He
believed anything was possible and whenever you read his books or
heard him speak, you came away believing the same thing.
And now, here he was, talking to me as I served drinks at Gerry’s
Pub and trying to convince me not to quit on my dream.
Feeling as though this was all just a little too good to be true, I
asked Andre, “Why me?”
“I told you, because I see something special in you,” Andre said.
“My old manager just fired me because he was certain there isn’t
anything special in me.”
“I know,” Andre said, “and I was ecstatic to hear that Marco has
such poor judgment. You see, I’ve been scouting local fighters for
awhile now and you caught my attention several months ago. But,
since you already had a trainer, I didn’t want to step on anybody’s
toes.
“Are you a religious man, Mickey?”
That caught me off guard. I shrugged and responded awkwardly.
“Sort of. I pray, I believe. I need to get better about it.”
“Well, I believe too. And when I hear God calling, I listen. For a
long time, I’ve felt called back to boxing. I just turned 50 a few weeks
ago and it hit me that I’m not getting any younger. It’s time to start
the next chapter of my life and that chapter is my return to the sport I
love—the sport that taught me so much about life.
“I’ve been looking for someone I feel called to train. When I watch
you fight, Mickey, I see something special buried underneath all that
fear and I want to help you unleash it. When I heard Marco dropped
you, I knew God was intervening, telling me you were the one—the
one I needed to train. I don’t know how I know, I just do.”
“You keep mentioning fear,” I said. “You think I fight scared?”
Andre nodded. “I do. But I can help you conquer your fear. And
once you learn how to knock out your fear, you can start knocking
out your opponents.”
I liked the sound of that.
“Life is all about the choices you make,” Andre said. “I’m offering
you a choice right now. I’m a trainer who has never trained anybody
before and you’re a fighter who has never had a winning record.
What do you say we give each other a shot? ”
Andre stuck out his hand for me to shake.
When you find yourself fired by your previous trainer and a former
world champion shows up out of the blue, extends his hand, and
offers to train you, you don’t turn him down.
“How can I possibly say no?” I said.
I shook his hand and felt electricity. I knew my life was about to
change.
CHAPTER 4
THE FIGHT AGAINST FEAR
The first lesson Andre taught me not only changed the way I saw
myself as a fighter, it changed the way I saw the world.
“I went through the film of all your fights last night and I’m
surprised you won any of them,” Andre said.
I turned my head away from the heavy bag I was punching. “Gee
thanks, Coach.”
This was my first week of training with Andre. He had a large
country estate outside of the city. On his property was a big barn,
which he converted into his own personal boxing gym. That gym
became my new training facility.
“I’m serious,” Andre said. “If it hadn’t been for the couple times
you stopped thinking and unleashed your power, you never would
have won a fight.”
I wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult,
but I continued to work the heavy bag as I listened.
“You barely ever show your power,” Andre continued. “You’re
always dancing. And wincing. Dancing and wincing. I can see the
wheels turning when you fight. You think too much. You’re too tight.
You fight scared.”
At that, I threw one big power shot to the heavy bag, then
dropped my hands and turned to Andre. “Is this supposed to
motivate me or something? If it is, it isn’t working.”
“I’m just telling you what I saw. You fight scared. You let fear
dictate the fight. I’m wondering why you do that. What are you afraid
of when you’re in that ring?”
I shrugged, annoyed. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“There were a few times where you stopped thinking during your
fights. You loosened up, let go of the fear, and started fighting. That’s
when you looked special. Raw, but special. Unfortunately, those
were rare moments. I want you to tell me what you’re afraid of.”
“Marco taught me that it was good to be afraid in the ring. He told
me fear is a weapon. He said fear is a good thing because it
motivates you, it makes you try harder, it makes you respect your
opponent.”
Andre handed me a water bottle. This was his way of telling me it
was time to take a break and listen to him. It was time to pause the
physical training and focus on the mental training.
“A lot of trainers think that way,” Andre said. “Marco is right that
fear can be used as a powerful weapon. Mike Tyson famously said
he used fear as a weapon, but he used fear as a weapon against his
opponents. He intimidated his opponent so much before the fight
that it was over before it began. Tyson believed that if he could fill his
opponent with fear, he could easily win the fight. And he was right.
But notice that his opponents were the ones full of fear. Fear was a
weapon only if he could force his opponent to be more scared than
he was. Think about that the next time somebody tells you fear is
good for you. If fear is good for you, why did champions like Tyson
want their opponents to be full of it?”
“I guess I didn’t think about it that way,” I said before taking a swig
of water.
“Tyson knew that if his opponent was full of fear, that opponent
would be timid. He would be tight and anxious. He would be
indecisive and he would make more mistakes. That made him an
easy target.”
“But being afraid of your opponent makes you try harder,” I said.
“If I don’t fear my opponent, I won’t be as motivated to work hard
preparing for him. That would be reckless of me. I won’t protect
myself if I don’t think my opponent is capable of hurting me.”
“There’s a difference between being fearless and being arrogant,”
Andre said. “The arrogant person is someone who deludes himself
into thinking he’s so good he doesn’t need to prepare. But that’s
false bravado. That’s trying to hide from fear. It doesn’t work.
“It’s important to define fear properly: Fear is the strong,
unpleasant emotion that expects something bad to happen. If a
fighter doesn’t train hard and prepare for his opponent, then he can
rightly expect bad things to happen in the ring. You should be full of
fear if you haven’t properly prepared for something. On the other
hand, proper preparation and hard training should eliminate fear.
“It’s like the kid who thinks he’s so smart he doesn’t need to study
for the test. That’s not being fearless; that’s being arrogant. Only if
the kid puts in the hours to study can he walk into test day with the
fearless confidence that helps him ace the test. Preparation
eliminates fear.
“The guy who thinks he doesn’t need to prepare isn’t fearless,
he’s delusional. The fighter who doesn’t prepare for his opponent
should be afraid. Only the fighter who has thoroughly prepared has
earned the right to be fearless.
“Action and preparation conquer fear. We will train away your
fear.”
“But isn’t it important to listen to your fears?” I asked. “Don’t your
fears tell you when you should or should not do something?”
“Your instincts tell you when something is dangerous,” Andre said.
“But that’s not the same as fear. Your instincts tell you not to cross
the street in heavy traffic. You don’t need the emotion of fear to tell
you that.
“You see, fear is an emotion. A very powerful emotion. Often
times, we hear people talk about fears and instincts as if they’re the
same, but they’re not.
“Again, let’s make sure we properly define fear. Fear is the strong,
unpleasant emotion that expects something bad to happen. Your
instinct is your alert system that tells you to do or not do something
based on past events—either learned or experienced. Instincts are
good for you; fears are not.”
Andre was making me see fear in a new way. I was one of those
people who thought listening to your fears and listening to your
instincts were the same thing. I had been taught by my previous
trainer that fear was good for me.
“You’re saying fear won’t make me a sharper, more dangerous
fighter?” I asked.
Andre shook his head. “It’s just the opposite. The fearless fighter
will always be sharper and more dangerous than the fearful fighter.
The fighter full of fear will be tight, timid, and indecisive because he’ll
be overthinking everything—afraid to trust his instincts. The fearless
fighter will be confident—he’ll be able to let go and trust his instincts
in the ring. Once that bell rings, you need to be fearless.”
“And you think I’m a fearful fighter?”
“I do. And we’re going to change that. Fear is the biggest,
baddest opponent you will ever face. Until you win the fight
against fear, you’ll never win the fight in the ring. ”
“And how do I win the fight against fear? ”
“You approach it just like any other opponent. The first thing you
have to do is recognize it. A fighter can’t dodge or block a punch he
doesn’t see coming. It’s the same with fear. You have to identify
exactly what it is you fear before you can defeat it.
“I watch you in your fights and I see that you’re afraid of
something big. What are you thinking about in that ring? What is the
exact fear holding you back?”
“Fear of failure, I guess. I don’t want to screw up. I don’t want to
lose.”
“Fear of failure is too vague,” Andre said. “Every fear is ultimately
a fear of failure. You have to determine why you’re afraid of failing.
What are the consequences of failure that scare you? Dig deeper.
What is it you’re really afraid of? Why are you afraid of failing?”
As I thought about it, I could feel the fear twisting in my stomach. I
imagined the consequences of another defeat. Would that be the
end of my career again ? Would Andre keep training me if I lost
another fight?
Memories of messing up in the ring rushed back into my mind. I
saw myself getting hit with the exact punch Marco told me to watch
out for. I saw Marco rolling his eyes and shaking his head at me.
“What’s your problem?” he would ask me. “Why can’t you fight the
way I tell you to fight?”
I thought of all those people who said I was crazy for trying to be
a boxer. I saw them smirking about my dream. I envisioned them
laughing when they heard about me losing another fight.
I saw myself walking around with a black eye and a swollen face,
everyone I passed shaking their head and making some joke about
how it’s not against the rules to duck.
Then I saw myself searching for a new job, a new career,
something that had nothing to do with boxing. A career I didn’t want.
All the while, I heard voices saying, “I told you so.” I saw Marco
laughing, my old football coach laughing, friends shaking their heads
and saying, “I hope you learned your lesson.” The lesson being not
to chase stupid dreams, I suppose.
“You want to know what I’m afraid of?” I finally blurted out to
Andre. “I’m afraid of proving everybody right. I’m afraid of losing
another fight and having to listen to all those people who told me
what an idiot I was for trying to be a pro boxer. Everyone who said I
didn’t belong in this sport. I’m afraid of having everyone who said this
was such a silly dream laughing at me and telling me what a waste
of time it was. I’ve heard enough of that and I don’t want to hear it
again. But that’s exactly what’s going to happen if I lose.”
Andre leaned back and let my words hang in the air. He smiled
big and said, “That’s good.”
“How is that good?”
“You just identified the exact fear that is eating away at you. And
it’s one of the most destructive fears there is: the fear of what other
people think. I can show you how to beat it.”
CHAPTER 5
FAITH VS. FEAR
This book is part of the Sports for the Soul series. For updates on
this book, a sneak peek at future books, and a free newsletter that
delivers advice and inspiration from top coaches, athletes, and
sports psychologists, join us at: SportsForTheSoul.com .
RELENTLESS OPTIMISM
How a Commitment to Positive Thinking Changes Everything
Visit SportsForTheSoul.com
Book No. 1 in the Sports for the Soul series…
In this bestselling inspirational fable, a college football coach at the end of his rope
receives mysterious visits from five of history’s greatest coaches: John Wooden,
Buck O’Neil, Herb Brooks, Bear Bryant, and Vince Lombardi . Together, these
legendary leaders teach him the five inner beliefs shared by the world’s most
successful people. The “warrior mindset” he develops changes his life forever—
and it will change yours as well.
Book No. 2 in the Sports for the Soul series…
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Mike Ditka enters the final NCAA tournament of his legendary career and uses his
last days as a coach to write letters to the next generation revealing his rules for a
happy and successful life: the 15 rules of grit. Consider this book an instruction
manual for getting back to the values that truly lead to success and developing the
type of old school grit that will get you through anything.
Book No. 3 in the Sports for the Soul series…
Relentless Optimism
by Darrin Donnelly
An inspirational high school football fable that pays homage to the holiday classics,
It’s a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol , this is a story about fathers and sons.
It’s a story about faith, family, and community. Most of all, it’s a story about having
the courage to follow your heart and live your true purpose .