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McGraw Hill 10 ACT Practice Tests,

Seventh Edition Steven W. Dulan


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CONTENTS

About the Authors

UNDERSTANDING THE ACT


What Is the ACT?
Who Writes the ACT?
Registering for the ACT
Why Do ACT Exams Exist?
ACT Scores
Writing Test Scoring Guidelines

PRACTICE TEST 1
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 2
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 3
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations
PRACTICE TEST 4
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 5
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 6
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 7
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 8
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 9
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations

PRACTICE TEST 10
Answer Key
Scoring Guide
Answers and Explanations
ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Steve Dulan has been helping students to prepare for success on


the ACT and other standardized exams since 1989. In addition to
being an author of several study guides for standardized exams, he
is also an attorney, college professor, and law professor. Since 1997,
Steve has served as president of Advantage Education®, a company
dedicated to providing unparalleled test preparation. Tens of
thousands of students have benefited from his instruction, coaching,
and admissions consulting and have gone on to the colleges and
graduate programs of their choice. Steve’s students have gained
admission to some of the most prestigious institutions on Earth and
have received many scholarships. A few of them even beat his ACT
score!

Amy Dulan put her analytical skills and nurturing personality to


work as an ACT coach after receiving a psychology degree from
Michigan State University in 1991. During forays into the corporate
world over the next several years, Amy continued to tutor part-time,
eventually helping to found Advantage Education® in 1997. Since
then, Amy has worked with thousands of high school students in
both private and classroom settings, helping them to maximize their
ACT scores. Her sense of humor and down-to-earth style allow Amy
to connect with her students and make learning fun.

The techniques included in this book are the result of Steve and
Amy’s experiences with students at all ability and motivation levels
over many years.
“After working with Steve, I was able to crack the ACT and got
a 36 on all my subscores and a 36 composite score! His help
made all the difference in getting those last few points for a
perfect score!”
C.S. (Student)

“Amy, thanks to you my daughter was able to get a 35


composite score on her ACT with a perfect 36 on the English
test! Thank you for your time and commitment to her success.”
J.Q. (Parent)

Contact Amy or Steve directly with any questions about this book.
[email protected]
[email protected]
McGraw-Hill
10 ACT Practice Tests
UNDERSTANDING THE ACT

WHAT IS THE ACT?


The authors of the ACT insist that the ACT is an achievement test,
meaning that it is designed to measure your readiness for college
instruction. There is ongoing debate about how well the ACT
accomplishes that mission. What is not debated is that the ACT is
not a direct measure of intelligence. It is not an IQ test. The ACT is
certainly not a measure of your worth as a human being. It is not
even a perfect measure of how well you will do in college.
Theoretically, each of us has a specific potential to learn and acquire
skills. The ACT doesn’t measure your natural, inborn ability. If it did,
we wouldn’t be as successful as we are at raising students’ ACT
scores.
The ACT actually measures a certain knowledge base and skill
set. It is “trainable,” meaning that you can do better on your ACT if
you work on gaining the knowledge and acquiring the skills that are
tested.
The ACT is broken up into four multiple-choice tests and one
optional essay. The multiple-choice tests are called English,
Mathematics, Reading, and Science, respectively. They are always
given in the same order. In fact, there is a lot of predictability when
it comes to the ACT. The current exam still has very much in
common with ACT exams from past years. This means that we
basically know what is going to be on your ACT in terms of question
types and content.
ACT offers a fourty-minute Writing Test as an optional component
to the ACT. Many colleges and universities require applicants to take
the Writing Test. Be sure to check with your schools of choice prior
to registering for the test.

WHO WRITES THE ACT?


There is a company called ACT, Inc. that decides exactly what is
going to be on your ACT exam. This group of experts consults with
classroom teachers at the high school and college level. They look at
high school and college curricula, and they employ educators and
specialized psychologists called “psychometricians” (measurers of
the mind), who know a lot about the human brain and how it
operates under various conditions. We picture them as “evil genius”
researchers gleefully rubbing their hands together and trying to think
up ways to keep you out of college. Don’t fear, however; we are the
“good geniuses” trying to get you into the college of your choice.
We’ll lay out the details of how you will be tested so that you can get
yourself ready for the “contest” on test day.

REGISTERING FOR THE ACT


You should register for the ACT in advance. In many cases, you can’t
just show up on test day with a number 2 pencil and dive right in.
Stand-by testing might be available, but don’t count on it. The best
source of information for all things ACT is, not surprisingly, the ACT
website: www.act.org. Take advantage of online registration,
which allows you to set up a student account.

WHY DO ACT EXAMS EXIST?


Back in the mid-twentieth century, some people noticed that there
was a disturbing trend in college admissions. Most of the people who
were entering college came from a fairly small group of people who
went to a limited number of high schools. Many had parents who
had attended the same colleges. There wasn’t much opportunity for
students from new families to “break into” the higher education
system. Standardized entrance exams were an attempt to
democratize the situation and create a meritocracy where admissions
decisions were based on achievement and not just social status. The
ACT was not the first standardized college entrance exam. In fact, it
came a little later as an attempt at improving on the older SAT.
Colleges use the ACT for admissions decisions and, sometimes,
for advanced placement. It is also used to make scholarship
decisions. Since there are variations among high schools around the
country, the admissions departments at colleges use the ACT, in
part, to help provide a standard for comparison. There are studies
that reveal a fair amount of “grade inflation” at some schools. So,
colleges cannot simply rely upon grade point averages when
evaluating academic performance.

ACT SCORES
Each of the multiple-choice sections of the ACT is called a Test. Each
test is given a score on a scale of 1 to 36. These four “scale scores”
are then averaged and rounded according to normal rounding rules
to yield a Composite Score. It is this Composite Score that is most
often meant when someone refers to your ACT score.
One important thing that can be said about scores is that you
don’t have to be perfect to get a good score on the ACT. The truth is
that you can miss a fair number of questions and still get a score
that places you in the top 1 percent of all test takers. In fact, this
test is so hard and the time limit is so unrealistic for most test takers
that you can get a score that is at the national average (about a 21)
even if you get almost half of the questions wrong. Use the scoring
guidelines provided in this book to estimate your ACT score at each
stage of your preparation.

WRITING TEST SCORING GUIDELINES


The ACT Writing Test consists of a “prompt,” which is a brief
discussion of a topic to which you must respond, and some blank,
lined space in which to write your answer. You will have 40 minutes
to complete the test. The graders are not looking for long essay
answers; they are looking for quality essays.
Each of the four following domains is scored from 2–12. Two
professional, trained readers will evaluate your answer. The readers
are guided by the following descriptions of each domain:
Ideas and Analysis: This domain reflects the candidate’s ability
to engage critically with multiple perspectives and generate
relevant ideas.
Development and Support: This domain reflects the ability to
construct a sound argument that is well supported by examples.
Organization: This domain reflects the ability to organize and
express ideas clearly and with purpose while guiding the reader
through discussion.
Language Use and Conventions: This domain reflects the use
of language, following the rules and conventions of style,
grammar, syntax, word choice, and mechanics, including proper
punctuation.
While each domain is scored on a scale of 2–12, that score
reflects the total of two graders who each score on a scale of 1–6.
So, in the following rubric, 6 is the best score available from an
individual grader.

Score of 6: Demonstrates Effective Skill


Ideas and Analysis—Critically discusses multiple perspectives.
Displays subtlety and precision. Provides context and discusses
underlying assumptions.
Development and Support—Integrates skillful reasoning and
illustration.
Organization—Unified in purpose and focus. Effectively uses
transitions.
Language Use—Skillful and precise word choice. Sentences
varied and clear. Effective voice and tone. Any minor errors in
grammar, usage, or mechanics do not impair understanding.

Score of 5: Demonstrates Well-Developed Skill


Ideas and Analysis—Productively engages multiple
perspectives. Addresses complexities and underlying assumptions.
Development and Support—Mostly integrated, purposeful
reasoning and illustration. Capable.
Organization—Mostly controlled by unifying idea. Logical
sequencing. Consistent transitions.
Language Use—Precise word choice. Mostly varied sentence
structure. Any minor errors in grammar, usage, or mechanics do
not impair understanding.

Score of 4: Demonstrates Adequate Skill


Ideas and Analysis—Engages multiple perspectives. Clear in
purpose. Analysis recognizes complexity and underlying
assumptions.
Development and Support—Clear reasoning and illustration.
Organization—Clear structure. Ideas logically grouped and
sequenced. Transitions clarify relationships between ideas.
Language Use—Conveys clarity. Adequate word choice,
sometimes precise. Clear sentences with some variety in
structure. Appropriate style choices. Errors rarely impede
understanding.
Score of 3: Demonstrates Some Developing
Skill
Ideas and Analysis—Responds to multiple perspectives. Some
clarity of purpose. Limited or tangential context. Somewhat
simplistic or unclear.
Development and Support—Mostly relevant, but overly general
or simplistic. Reasoning and illustration somewhat repetitious or
imprecise.
Organization—Exhibits basic structure. Most ideas logically
grouped. Transitions sometimes clarify relationships between
ideas.
Language Use—Basic and only somewhat clear. Word choice
occasionally imprecise. Little variety in sentence structure. Style
and tone not always appropriate. Distracting errors that do not
impede understanding.

Score of 2: Demonstrates Weak or


Inconsistent Skill
Ideas and Analysis—Weak response to multiple perspectives.
Thesis, if any, shows little clarity. Incomplete analysis.
Development and Support—Weak, confused, disjointed.
Inadequate reasoning (circular, illogical, unclear).
Organization—Rudimentary structure. Inconsistent and unclear.
Misleading transitions.
Language Use—Inconsistent, unclear, imprecise. Sentence
structure sometimes unclear. Voice and tone inconsistent and
inappropriate. Distracting errors sometimes impede
understanding.

Score of 1: Demonstrates Little or No Skill


Ideas and Analysis—Fails to generate an intelligible argument.
Unclear or irrelevant attempts at analysis.
Development and Support—Claims lack support. Reasoning
and illustration are unclear, irrelevant, or absent.
Organization—Structure lacking. Transitions, if any, fail to
connect ideas.
Language Use—Word choice imprecise, incomprehensible.
Sentence structure unclear. Errors are pervasive and often impede
understanding.
Practice Tests
ANSWER SHEET

ACT PRACTICE TEST 1


Answer Sheet
Refer to the Scoring Guide on page 65-67 for help in determining
your scores.

You may wish to remove these sample answer document pages to


respond to the practice ACT Writing Test.
ENGLISH TEST
45 Minutes—75 Questions

DIRECTIONS: In the passages that follow, some words and


phrases are underlined and numbered. In the answer column,
you will find alternatives for the words and phrases that are
underlined. Choose the alternative that you think is best, and
fill in the corresponding bubble on your answer sheet. If you
think that the original version is best, choose “NO CHANGE,”
which will always be either answer choice A or F. You will also
find questions about a particular section of the passage, or
about the entire passage. These questions will be identified
either by an underlined portion or by a number in a box. Look
for the answer that clearly expresses the idea, is consistent
with the style and tone of the passage, and makes the correct
use of standard written English. Read the passage through
once before answering the questions. For some questions, you
should read beyond the indicated portion before you answer.

PASSAGE I
Hair-raising Problems

Why is it that we are so completely with the hair on our


heads? Millions of dollars are spent each year on cutting hair,
lengthening hair, bleaching hair, straightening hair, curling hair,
highlighting hair, and even growing hair; whatever you can do to
hair, someone is willing to to do it. Natural redheads
long
1. A. NO CHANGE
B. obsessed
C. obsessing
D. obsessing with

2. F. NO CHANGE
G. pay
H. pay using money
J. pay with some money

brunettes and dishwater blondes dream of shiny golden


tresses. Both men and women cringe at the sight of
3. A. NO CHANGE
B. in becoming
C. to be
D. becoming

each gray hair, teenagers enjoy weekly experiments with magenta


dyes, spikes, and tangerine streaks.
4. F. NO CHANGE
G. if
H. when
J. and

All of these thoughts cross my mind as I examine the my


most recent hair adventure. As a mature
5. A. NO CHANGE
B. result for
C. result with
D. result by

woman watching the gray hairs with my

6. F. NO CHANGE
G. rapidly mixing
H. mixed rapidly in
J. rapidly mix in to

natural brunette tones, I decided over a year approach my


stylist with the idea of highlights. Having seen many of my peers go
this route, I figured that highlighting the answer to my
reluctance to look my age.
7. A. NO CHANGE
B. ago to
C. ago: to
D. ago to,

8. F. NO CHANGE
G. was being
H. could of been
J. was

[1] The monthly highlighting went for those times


when my hair turned out a little too subdued, making me look
partially gray instead of brunette. [2] I suffered through it
remarkably well, saying to myself, “She’ll get it right the next time.”
[3] , I’ve enjoyed my year of highlights, so much so
that I bravely approached Donna, my stylist, two months ago and
proclaimed that I was done with wimpy highlighting and ready to go
blonde. [4] The result was not quite what I expected, but I resolved
to live with it! [5] Donna was surprised at my suggestion, but quickly
began sharing my unbridled enthusiasm as she gathered the
appropriate chemicals and concoctions that would soon transform
me. 11
9. A. NO CHANGE
B. well, except
C. well except
D. well. Except

10. F. NO CHANGE
G. Also
H. Instead
J. In light of this

11. For the sake of logic and coherence, Sentence 5 should be


placed:
A. where it is now.
B. before Sentence 1.
C. after Sentence 2.
D. before Sentence 4.

Three months later, I find myself between tears and


laughter as I attempt to cover up a patch of nearly bald scalp on the
top of my head. For someone who has long been fanatical about the
appearance of her hair, this absence of hair has
quite a challenge to my ego and self-confidence. I’ve always enjoyed
styling my hair, and suddenly, I have nothing to style.
12. Which of the following alternatives to the underlined portion
would be LEAST acceptable?
F. wavering
G. alternating
H. vacillating
J. teetering

13. A. NO CHANGE
B. proven
C. shown by proving
D. DELETE the underlined portion

Each time I begin to experience a new pang of disgust and


despair over this new hair anomaly, I once again ask myself why we
are so obsessed with the hair on our heads. The answer always
comes to me in a flash, in a simple two-word phrase: pure vanity.
Soon after this realization, I cease my crying. 14
14. The writer is considering deleting the preceding sentence. If
the sentence was deleted, the essay would primarily lose:
F. a summary of the essay.
G. the narrator’s ability to put her situation into perspective.
H. a stylistic link to the essay’s introduction.
J. an understanding of the author’s purpose in writing the
essay.

Question 15 asks about the preceding passage as a whole.

15. Suppose the writer had chosen to write an article about how
to change your hair color. Would this essay fulfill the writer’s
goal?
A. Yes, because the author’s approach to changing her own
hair color would ease the anxiety of others wishing to do
the same.
B. Yes, because this essay emphasizes the universality of
people changing their hairstyles and hair color.
C. No, because this article only deals with the narrator’s own
experimentation with her hair and does not provide steps
for others to do the same.
D. No, because the essay discourages people from changing
their hair color.

PASSAGE II
A Modern Blacksmith
You will probably never find his name in a history book, but to this
day, Walker Lee continues to contribute to Walker
Lee is an old-fashioned, modern-
16. F. NO CHANGE
G. American heritage.
H. Americas heritage.
J. American’s heritage.

day blacksmith, the fine art of manipulating metal over


a hot fire. In his words, “Blacksmithing is no dying art!”
17. A. NO CHANGE
B. while still practicing
C. and still practicing
D. who practicing still

Walker Lee his career in hand-forged ironwork at the


age of 30. The idea of creating an object out of
18. F. NO CHANGE
G. has begun
H. begun
J. began

appealed to him. He started on this new


venture by collecting and reading every book he could find that
described the process of blacksmithing, including its history, its
practical and decorative uses, and the equipment needed to
establish and outfit his own smithy. During the course of his
research, Lee discovered a tool necessary for the success of any
blacksmith: the anvil, a heavy block of iron or steel upon which the
blacksmith hammered and shaped the malleable metal.
19. Which of the following alternatives to the underlined portion
would NOT be acceptable?
A. one of the most intractable metals, iron,
B. a most intractable material, that being iron
C. iron–a most intractable material–
D. a most intractable material, iron,

Lee bought his first anvil from 84-year-old Hurley Alford


Templeton of Philadelphia, it home to Michigan in the back of
a 4-H county bus. This anvil weighed 100 pounds, about the
minimum size Walker Lee
needed to this new career path.

20. Which choice most emphasizes the difficulty in moving the


large anvil?
F. NO CHANGE
G. taking
H. driving
J. transporting
21. At this point, the writer wants to express the idea that Lee
was just starting his career as a blacksmith. Which choice
would most effectively accomplish this task?
A. NO CHANGE
B. continue
C. remain on
D. adhere to

Lee’s first anvil cost him $100, and four months later, he paid $75
for an additional implement—a vice—from Cornell University in New
York. This important tool also made way back to Michigan in the
back of Lee’s 4-H bus.
22. F. NO CHANGE
G. its
H. its’
J. the

23. A. NO CHANGE
B. Carting 4-H groups out from Michigan to the east coast for
various county fairs and expositions, Lee had spent the
summer.
C. Lee had spent the summer, for various county fairs and
expositions, carting 4-H groups out from Michigan to the
east coast.
D. DELETE the underlined portion
In the interest of

economy, he constructed this shop out of inexpensive oak planks


and tarpaper. It was
24. Given that all of the choices are true, which one would most
effectively introduce the subject of this paragraph?
F. NO CHANGE
G. Obtaining a portable forge for the shop proved to be Lee’s
biggest challenge.
H. Blacksmith shops can be difficult to construct, but the
most challenging task is moving the necessary equipment
into the shop.
J. A blacksmith’s forge requires some type of blower in order
to keep the fire hot enough to bend the steel.

a crude little shack only nine years. Lee, who by then


was completely hooked on blacksmithing, replaced his first shop with
a finer one made of more expensive wood; this shop also had glass
windows, a definite improvement over Lee’s original “smithy.”
25. A. NO CHANGE
B. that stood for
C. which standing for
D. and stands for

[1] The very first object Lee forged in his shop was a
Hudson Bay dagger.
26. F. NO CHANGE
G. long pointed,
H. long, and pointed
J. long, pointed

[2] Many people refer to this type of knife as a “dag.”


[3] As he recalls making the knife he says, “From the minute I first
saw the thing take shape, I was hooked … still am. There’s an
element of magic in it to me. You heat it up and pound it with a
hammer and it goes where you want it to go.”

[4] Years discovered that his Italian


ancestors were accomplished blacksmiths.
27. A. NO CHANGE
B. later at a family, event Lee
C. later, at a family event, Lee,
D. later, at a family event, Lee

[5] During the gathering, Lee’s great uncle Johnny


that Lee’s propensity for blacksmithing was “in the blood,” and he
happily presented Lee with a
28. F. NO CHANGE
G. proclaimed
H. while proclaiming
J. having proclaimed

new 125-pound anvil. 29


29. Which of the following sentences in this paragraph is LEAST
relevant to the main focus of the essay and, therefore, could
be deleted?
A. Sentence 2
B. Sentence 3
C. Sentence 4
D. Sentence 5

As an outside observer Walker Lee bending and shaping a


hot metal rod into some recognizable form, it is difficult to discern
the origin of the magic Lee spoke of; is it in the glowing, orange
steel or in Walker himself?
30. F. NO CHANGE
G. was watched
H. had been watching
J. when watching

PASSAGE III

Scorpion Scare
As my sister telling me about the scorpion in her bed
that stung her as she
31. A. NO CHANGE
B. begun
C. had began
D. began

feel my eyes popping out of my head and my jaw


dropping to the floor. She seemed so calm
32. F. NO CHANGE
G. slumbered I could
H. slumbered I could,
J. slumbered, I could,

telling me this story, but all

33. A. NO CHANGE
B. could have thought
C. thinking
D. had thought

was she’s lucky to be alive. Diana’s terrifying story


continued, detailing how her husband threw back the bed covers,
beat the dreaded thing with a broom, and then quickly it down
the toilet. Only later did they learn that the corpse should have been
kept for identification purposes. Some Arizonan scorpions
and it is important to know which species is
responsible for a given attack.
34. F. NO CHANGE
G. because
H. that
J. if

35. A. NO CHANGE
B. flushes
C. flushing
D. flushed

36. F. NO CHANGE
G. are more deadlier than others
H. being more deadly than others
J. since they’re more deadly than others
My sister characteristically chose not to seek medical treatment as
her upper arm first swelled, then ached with pain, and finally
became numb and useless. 37 As her condition worsened, instead
of calling her physician, she searched the Internet for general
information, discovering time and again that species identification is
important in administering proper care to the sting victim.
37. Assuming that all of the choices are true, which one best
links the preceding sentence with the rest of the paragraph?
A. Diana is often mistrustful of hospitals, doctors, and nurses.
B. Most scorpion bites should be examined by a medical
professional.
C. My sister’s physician had treated many scorpion bites.
D. Symptoms of a scorpion sting can vary from one person to
another.

Scorpions will sting anyone they accidentally encounter as they


into human habitats. Most problems occur at
construction sites where the
38. F. NO CHANGE
G. inadvertently crawl
H. crawl by mistake
J. crawl

homes have been upset and uprooted by

39. A. NO CHANGE
B. scorpion’s naturally
C. scorpion natural
D. scorpions’ natural
bulldozers and dump trucks.
. Unfortunately, one of
those species is the Bark
40. F. NO CHANGE
G. In Arizona, about 30 percent of the ninety scorpion
species native to the United States live.
H. Arizona has about 30 percent of the ninety scorpion
species, living in the United States.
J. Of the ninety species of scorpions, 30 percent native to
the United States live in Arizona.

Scorpion, the only species whose venom is considered truly


dangerous and often fatal to humans.
41. A. NO CHANGE
B. mostly
C. slightly
D. occasionally

My sister and her husband moved into a new home a year ago,
and dozens of homes are still being built all around them. This,
indeed, is a perfect explanation for the presence of a scorpion in
their bedclothes. Scorpions hide during the day and search for food
and water at night, often quietly entering the home of an
unsuspecting human. Arizonans will tell you that it’s a good idea to
refrain from going barefoot in the dark, .

42. If the author were to delete the phrase “both outside and
inside,” the essay would primarily lose a detail that:
F. adds essential information to the discussion of Arizona.
G. is not particularly necessary to the impact of the essay.
H. supports the reference to the scorpions’ behavior.
J. adds an element of humor to the essay’s theme.

Checking your shoes and clothes before putting them on wouldn’t


hurt, either, particularly if you know you’re in an area where
scorpions have been found. Wherever there is one scorpion, there
are probably dozens more that can be easily detected with a black
light at night when they’re on the move.
[1] If a scorpion you, please don’t follow my
sister’s example. [2] All medical facilities in Arizona have antivenin
on hand. [3] Seek medical
43. A. NO CHANGE
B. happened to sting
C. happens to sting
D. stung

treatment immediately, especially if you’ve flushed the critter down


the toilet and have no way of knowing the exact nature of the
perpetrator! [4] This way, you will certainly save yourself from some
amount of pain and discomfort, and you might even save your life.
44
44. For the sake of coherence, Sentence 2 should be placed:
F. where it is now.
G. before Sentence 1.
H. after Sentence 4.
J. Delete it; it is not relevant to the paragraph.

Question 45 asks about the preceding passage as a whole.

45. Suppose the writer had intended to write a medical column


that would offer professional advice on the treatment of
scorpion stings. Would this essay successfully fulfill this goal?
A. Yes, because this essay describes the steps that need to
be taken if a person is stung by a scorpion.
B. Yes, because it is clear in the essay that the writer
possesses professional knowledge on the topic of scorpion
stings.
C. No, because the writer is describing only one personal
incident about a scorpion sting and is offering personal,
not professional, advice.
D. No, because there are too many species of scorpions to
allow a short essay to provide professional advice on the
treatment of scorpion stings.

PASSAGE IV

Unfulfilled Promises
If you have ever entered a contest of any are well aware
of the legal requirements, exclusions, and
46. F. NO CHANGE
G. sort; you
H. sort you
J. sort, you

disclaimers that the contest’s entry form. Many laws


today regulate a contest sponsor’s responsibilities to the entrants,
and courts are filled with lawsuits noncompliance on both
sides. However, this was not always the case.
47. A. NO CHANGE
B. always are accompanying
C. accompany always
D. are accompanying

48. F. NO CHANGE
G. asserting
H. by asserting
J. and assertions

In 1896, a contest motivated a Norwegian immigrant, Helga


Estby, to travel nearly from the state of Washington
to New York City. Unfortunately, as is still sometimes true, Helga won
the competition
49. A. NO CHANGE
B. on foot, 3,500 miles
C. 3,500 miles on feet
D. 3,500 miles to foot

only to find that the $10,000 award was mysteriously absent.

50. F. NO CHANGE
G. promise for the
H. promised
J. promising

[1] Helga on her farm with her husband and nine


children in Spokane, Washington, when she read of a $10,000 prize
being offered to a woman who was willing to walk across the
country. [2] Because the Estby farm was facing foreclosure, Helga
decided that walking across the country in a bicycle skirt for that
kind of money was a small price to pay for a . [3] At
the
51. A. NO CHANGE
B. been living
C. could have lived
D. lived

52. F. NO CHANGE
G. greatly rewarding
H. great reward
J. greatest reward

time, this style of skirt was considered inappropriate because it


revealed the female ankle. [4] The only requirement, from all
accounts, was that she wear a modern, newfangled bicycle skirt as
she traveled. 53
53. Which of the following sequences of sentences makes this
paragraph most logical?
A. NO CHANGE
B. 1, 3, 2, 4
C. 3, 2, 4, 1
D. 1, 4, 3, 2

So, in May of 1896, Helga and her 18-year-old daughter, Clara,


on their long journey.

54. F. NO CHANGE
G. have set off
H. set off
J. went to set off

Presumably,
Helga and Clara found food and shelter along the way, and they
arrived in New York City in December, seven months after their
departure. The contest sponsors, however, .

55. A. NO CHANGE
B. For protection, Helga carried a revolver as well as a
pepper-containing spray gun.
C. Helga, for protection, she carried a revolver and a spray
gun containing pepper.
D. Carried by Helga for protection were a revolver and a
spray gun containing pepper.

56. F. NO CHANGE
G. were nowhere when found
H. to be found nowhere
J. were nowhere to be found

This story of bravery and persistence


for nearly a century, primarily because Helga’s seven-month absence
from the farm wreaked havoc on her family. Two of her children died
of diphtheria while she was gone. To make matters worse, her
husband had sequestered the surviving children in an
57. A. NO CHANGE
B. had been kept a secret
C. had been normally kept a secret
D. had been secretly keeping

unheated shed, thinking that this was the only way to keep them
from being infected with the disease. Since the contest sponsor
failed to award Helga the money, the Estbys ended up losing the
farm; her expedition had been a disaster.
At the time, Helga’s trip was considered an embarrassment by the
Norwegian-American community and was kept utterly quiet. After
Another random document with
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sometimes there came into them a look that was almost wild.... The
blackness and the brightness of his eyes were brought into greater
relief by the almost deadly pallor of his complexion.... As he walked
up the floor of the House he seemed to be enveloped by a great
solitude, so unmistakably did he stand out from all the figures around
him.
I must add to this description of his extreme physical gifts the
wonderful quality of his voice. It was a powerful voice, but sweet and
melodious, and it was managed as exquisitely and as faithfully as
the song of a great prima donna. If the speech were ringing, it came
to your ears almost soft by that constant change of tone which the
voice displayed; it could whisper, it could thunder.... I have seen
many great figures, but, with all respect to the greatest among them,
the House of Commons without Gladstone seems to me as great a
contrast as a chamber illumined by a farthing dip when the electric
light has failed.”
XIV
A ROOM WITHOUT A VIEW

What is the worst poem ever written by a man of genius? It is


certain that if an anthology should be made of the most terrible
verses of the English bards the results would be both surprising and
appalling. I cannot at this moment think of any worse pair of lines in
English literature than those offered in all seriousness by the
seventeenth-century poet, Richard Crashaw. They occur in a poem
containing many lovely passages. In comparing the tearful eyes of
Mary Magdalene to many different things he perpetrated a couplet
more remarkable for ingenuity than for beauty. Her eyes are

Two walking baths, two weeping motions,


Portable and compendious oceans.

Alfred Tennyson, in his second volume of poems, bearing the


date 1833, included the following, though it is only fair to say that he
afterward suppressed it. It aroused the mirth of the critics and still is
often resurrected as a specimen of what Tennyson could do when he
was deserted by both inspiration and taste.

O DARLING ROOM
O darling room, my heart’s delight,
Dear room, the apple of my sight,
With thy two couches soft and white,
There is no room so exquisite,
No little room so warm and bright,
Wherein to read, wherein to write.

For I the Nonnenwerth have seen,


And Oberwinter’s vineyards green,
Musical Lurlei; and between
The hills to Bingen have I been,
Bingen in Darmstadt, where the Rhene
Curves toward Mentz, a woody scene.

Yet never did there meet my sight,


In any town, to left or right,
A little room so exquisite,
With two such couches soft and white;
Not any room so warm and bright,
Wherein to read, wherein to write.

Imagine the profanity and laughter this piffle must have aroused
among the book reviewers; some of his severer critics called him
“Miss Alfred,” not knowing that he was a six-footer, with a voice like a
sea captain in a fog.
I have no mind to defend the poem. Apart from the fact that the
reading of it ought to teach Americans the correct accent on the word
“exquisite,” it must be admitted that when Tennyson wrote this stuff
he not only nodded but snored.
But, although it is difficult for me to understand how he could
have written it, have read it in proof and then published it, I perfectly
understand and sympathise with his enthusiasm for the room.
It is often said that polygamous gentlemen are—at any rate, for a
considerable period—monogamous; the Turk may have a long list of
wives, but he will cleave to one, either because he wants to or
because she compels him to. Thus, even in a house that has a
variety of sitting rooms, or living rooms or whatever you choose to
call them, the family will use only one. After the evening meal they
will instinctively move toward this one favourite room.
There is no doubt that even as dogs and cats have their
favourite corner or chair, or favourite cushion of nightly repose, men
and women have favourite rooms. And if this is true of a family in
general, it is especially true of a man or a woman whose
professional occupation is writing; and he becomes so attached to
his room that Tennyson’s sentiments, no matter how silly in
expression, accurately represent his emotion.
Twice a year, once in June and once in September,
circumstances force me to leave a room where I have for a long time
spent the larger part of my waking hours; I always feel the pain of
parting, look around the walls and at the desk and wish the place an
affectionate farewell, hoping to see it again, either in the autumn or
in the next summer, as the case may be. I love that room, as
Tennyson loved his room. I love it not because of the view from the
windows, for a working room should not have too good a view, but
for the visions that have there appeared to the eyes of the mind. It is
the place where I have sat in thought, where such ideas as are
possible to my limited range have appeared to me and where I have
endeavoured to express them in words.
And if I can have so strong a passion for a room, with what
tremendous intensity must an inspired poet or novelist love the
secluded chamber where his imagination has found free play!
We know that Hawthorne, after his graduation from college,
spent twelve years in one room in Salem. When he revisited that
room as a famous writer he looked at it with unspeakable affection
and declared that if ever he had a biographer great mention must be
made in his memoir of this chamber, for here his mind and character
had been formed and here the immortal children of his fancy had
played around him. He was alone and not alone. As far as a mortal
man may understand the feelings of a man of genius, I understand
the emotion of Hawthorne.
I think nearly every one, if he were able to afford it, would like to
have a room all his own. I believe it to be an important factor in the
development of the average boy or girl if in the family house each
child could have one room sacred to its own personality. When I was
a small boy, although I loved to be with family and friends, I also
loved to escape to my own room and read and meditate in solitude.
The age of machinery is not so adverse to spiritual development
as the age of hotels and apartment houses; there is no opportunity
for solitude, and a certain amount of solitude, serene and secure
from interruption, is almost essential for the growth of the mind. A
great many girls and women could be saved from the curse of
“nerves” if there were a place somewhere in the building where they
could be for a time alone. One of the worst evils of poverty is that
there is no solitude; eating, sleeping, living, all without privacy.
When I was a graduate student in the university I was fortunate
enough to possess for one year exactly the right kind of room. The
young philosopher, George Santayana, came to see me and
exclaimed, “What a perfect room for a scholar! The windows high up,
as they should be.” For if one is to have clear mental vision it is not
well that the room should have a view.
XV
TEA

“Thank God,” said Sydney Smith, “thank God for tea! What
would the world do without tea?—how did it exist? I am glad I was
not born before tea.” Well, I get along very well without tea, though I
rejoice to see that more and more in “big business” houses in
American cities there is a fifteen-minute pause for afternoon tea.
One of the chief differences between the life of Englishmen and
of Americans is tea. Millions of Englishmen take tea three times a
day. Tea is brought to their bedside early in the morning, and thirstily
swallowed while in a horizontal attitude. The first thing an
Englishman thinks of, if he wakes at dawn, is tea. When Arnold
Bennett was travelling in America he took a limited train from New
York to Chicago. Early in the morning he rang for the porter and
when that individual appeared he commanded nonchalantly a cup of
tea. He might as well have asked for a pot of hashish. The porter
mechanically remarked that the “diner” would be put on at such-and-
such an hour. This unintelligible contribution to the conversation was
ignored by the famous novelist, who repeated his demand for tea.
He was amazed to find there was no tea. “And you call this a first-
class train!”
Then at breakfast—a substantial meal in British homes, though
having somewhat the air of a cafeteria—tea is drunk copiously. To
the average American tea for breakfast is flat and unprofitable. We
are accustomed to the most inspiring beverage in the world, actual
coffee. The coffee in England is so detestable that when an
American tastes it for the first time he thinks it is a mistake. And he is
right. It is. Many Americans give it up and reluctantly order tea. In my
judgment, for breakfast the worst coffee is better than the best tea.
There are many Americans who have tea served at luncheon.
For some reason this seems to the Englishman sacrilegious. The
late Professor Mahaffy, who is now (I suppose) drinking nectar, was
absolutely horrified to find that in my house he was offered a cup of
tea at lunch. “Tea for lunch!” he screamed, and talked about it for the
rest of the meal.
I was invited by a charming American lady to meet an English
author at her house for luncheon. Tea was served and she said
deprecatingly to the British author, “I don’t suppose you have tea at
this time in England.” “Oh, yes,” said he, “the servants often have it
below stairs.” To my delight, the hostess said, “Now, Mr. ——, aren’t
you really ashamed of offering me an insult like that? Isn’t that
remark of yours exactly the kind of thing you are going to be
ashamed of when you think it over, all by yourself?”
At precisely 4:13 p.m. every day the average Englishman has a
thirst for the astringent taste of tea. He does not care for hot water or
hot lemonade coloured with tea. He likes his tea so strong that to me
it has a hairy flavour. Many years ago the famous Scot William
Archer invited me to his rooms in the Hotel Belmont, New York, for
afternoon tea at 4:15. He had several cups and at five o’clock
excused himself, as he had to go out to an American home for tea. I
suggested that he had already had it. “Oh, that makes no difference.”
There are several good reasons (besides bad coffee) for tea in
England. Breakfast is often at nine (the middle of the morning to me),
so that early tea is desirable. Dinner is often at eight-thirty, so that
afternoon tea is by no means superfluous. Furthermore, of the three
hundred and sixty-five days of the year in England, very, very few
are warm; and afternoon tea is not only cheerful and sociable but in
most British interiors really necessary to start the blood circulating.
There are few more agreeable moments in life than tea in an
English country house in winter. It is dark at four o’clock. The family
and guests come in from the cold air. The curtains are drawn, the
open wood fire is blazing, the people sit down around the table and
with a delightful meal—for the most attractive food in England is
served at afternoon tea—drink of the cheering beverage.
William Cowper, in the eighteenth century, gave an excellent
description:

Now stir the fire and close the shutters fast,


Let fall the curtains, wheel the sofa round,
And while the bubbling and loud-hissing urn
Throws up a steamy column, and the cups
That cheer but not inebriate wait on each,
So let us welcome peaceful evening in.

Not long before this poem was written the traveller Jonas
Hanway had the bad luck to publish an essay on tea, “considered as
pernicious to health, obstructing industry, and impoverishing the
nation,” which naturally drew the artillery fire of the great Dr.
Johnson. Sir John Hawkins, in his life of Johnson, comments on this
controversy. He says: “That it is pernicious to health is disputed by
physicians”—where have I heard something like that recently? But
Hawkins continues: “Bishop Burnet, for many years, drank sixteen
large cups of it every morning, and never complained that it did him
the least injury.”
As for Johnson, “he was a lover of tea to an excess hardly
credible; whenever it appeared, he was almost raving, and by his
impatience to be served, his incessant calls for those ingredients
which make that liquor palatable, and the haste with which he
swallowed it down, he seldom failed to make that a fatigue to every
one else, which was intended as a general refreshment.”
In nearly every English novel I find the expression, “I am dying
for my tea!” On a voyage to Alaska, where tea was served on deck
every afternoon, at precisely the same moment an elderly British
lady appeared from below with precisely the same exclamation: “Oh,
is there tea going?” And on her face was a holy look.
Alfred Noyes told me that during the war, when he was writing up
important incidents for the benefit of the public, he was assigned to
interview the sailors immediately after the tremendous naval battle of
Jutland. He found a bluejacket who had been sent aloft and kept
there during the fearful engagement, when shells weighing half a ton
came hurtling through the air and when ships blew up around him.
Thinking he would get a marvellous “story” out of this sailor, Mr.
Noyes asked him to describe his sensations during those frightful
hours. All the man said was, “Well, of course, I had to miss my tea!”
XVI
THE WEATHER

Nearly all the great poetry of the world, ancient and modern, has
been written in Europe. This fact should never be forgotten in
reading literature that alludes to the weather. The reason every one
talks about the weather is not that the average person has nothing
else to say; it is that the weather is usually the most interesting topic
available. It is the first thing we think of in the hour of waking; it
affects our plans, projects and temperament.
When I was a little boy at school there was a song sung in
unison called “Hail, Autumn, Jovial Fellow!” It seemed to me to
express correctly the true character of autumn. It was not until I had
reached maturity in years that I discovered that the song, as judged
by the world’s most famous writers, was a misfit. Instead of autumn’s
being jovial, it was dull, damp, dark, depressing. To be sure, I never
really felt that way about it; the evidence of my eyes was in favour of
the school song, but, as the great poets had given autumn a bad
reputation, I supposed in some way she must have earned it.
Still later I learned that Goethe was right when he said that in
order to understand a poet you must personally visit the country
where he wrote. Literary geography is seldom taught or seriously
considered, but it is impossible to read famous authors intelligently
without knowing their climatic and geographical environment. So
keenly did I come to feel about this that I finally prepared a
cardboard map of England, marking only the literary places, and I
required my students to become familiar with it. One of them
subsequently wrote me a magnificent testimonial, which I have often
considered printing on the margin of the map.
Dear Mr. Phelps—I have been bicycling all over England this
summer, and have found your Literary Map immensely useful. I
have carried it inside my shirt, and I think on several occasions it
has saved me from an attack of pneumonia.

There are millions of boys and girls studying Shakespeare in


South Africa, Australia and New Zealand; the poet’s frequent
allusions to the climate and the weather must seem strange.

That you have such a February face.

February “down under” is midsummer. Southern latitudes give


the lie to Shakespeare’s metaphors.
The reason autumn has so bad a name in the world’s poetry and
prose is that autumn in Northern Europe is a miserable season. In
London, Paris, Berlin, November (and often October) is one of the
worst times of the year. A chronically overcast sky, a continual
drizzle, a damp chill even on mistily rainless days, combine to
produce gloom. The first autumn and winter I spent in Paris revised
my notions of those two seasons. As an American, I had thought of
the difference between summer and winter as a difference only in
temperature; I reasonably expected as much sunshine in autumn
and winter as in summer. A typical January day in New York is cold
and cloudless.
Well, in Paris the sun disappeared for weeks at a time, and on
the rare occasions when it shone people ran out in the street to look
at it. One of the worst jokes in the world is the expression, “sunny
France.” The French themselves know better. François Coppée
wrote of the “rare smiles” of the Norman climate, and Anatole
France, describing a pretty girl, wrote “Her eyes were grey; the grey
of the Paris sky.”
For the same reason “Italian skies” have been overpraised,
because their eulogists are English or French or German. The Italian
sky is usually so much better than the sky of more northerly
European localities that it seems good by contrast. Now, as a matter
of fact the winter sky over Bridgeport, Conn., is superior in
brightness and blueness to the sky over Florence or Venice.
November, one of the best months of the year in America, is
dreaded by all who live in France, England or Germany. Walking in
New Haven one brilliant (and quite typical) day in mid-November,
exhibiting the university and city to a visiting French professor, I
enquired, “What do you think of our November climate?” He replied,
“It is crazy.”
A strange thing is that Bryant, born in the glorious Berkshires of
western Massachusetts, where autumn, instead of being pale and
wet as the European poets have described it, is brilliant and
inspiring, all blue and gold, did not use his eyes; he followed the
English poetical tradition.

The melancholy days are come, the saddest of the year.

James Whitcomb Riley used the evidence of his senses, and


wrote an autumnal masterpiece.

O it’s then’s the times a feller is a-feelin’ at his best....


They’s something kind o’ hearty-like about the atmosphere
When the beat of summer’s over and the coolin’ fall is here—Of
course we miss the flowers, and the blossoms on the trees,
And the mumble of the hummin’-birds and buzzin’ of the bees;
But the air’s so appetizin’; and the landscape through the haze
Of a crisp and sunny morning of the airly autumn days
Is a picture that no painter has the colorin’ to mock—
When the frost is on the punkin and the fodder’s in the shock.

One difference between the temperament of the typical


Englishman and the typical American is caused largely by the
climate, and foreigners in writing books about us should not forget
the fact. If nearly every morning the sky were overcast and the air
filled with drizzle, we might not be quite so enthusiastic.
On the other hand, the early spring in England and France is
more inspiring than ours, perhaps by reason of the darkness of
winter. It comes much earlier. Alfred Housman says:

Loveliest of trees, the cherry now


Is hung with bloom along the bough,
And stands about the woodland ride
Wearing white for Eastertide.

In our Northern American States a blossoming fruit tree at


Eastertide would be a strange spectacle.
XVII
WAR

War is a sentimental affair; that is why it is so difficult to abolish.


War is opposed to the dictates of common sense, prudence,
rationality, and wisdom. But the sentiments of man and the passions
of man are deeper, more elemental, and more primitive than his
intelligence, knowledge, and reasoning powers. For intelligence and
morality belong to man alone; his instincts he shares with the entire
animal creation.
My own plan for getting rid of war would not win a peace prize,
because it would never be adopted. But I believe it strikes at the root
of war—sentiment. My plan would be to spoil the good looks of the
officers and also take away all their drums, fifes, and brass bands.
The uniforms are altogether too handsome, too attractive, too
becoming.
It is a familiar saying that every woman is in love with a uniform;
to which I would add that every man is also. The naval officers look
magnificent in their bright blue frock coats, their yellow buttons, and
their shining epaulets. These gorgeous hawks of war are decorated
by the government as lavishly as Nature, the greatest of all tailors,
fits out her birds of prey. A naval officer excels in brilliance the
appearance of a civilian, even as the gay feathers of a sparrowhawk
excel those of a sparrow.
Furthermore, every military and naval officer has a capable man
to look after his wardrobe. Not only are his various uniforms beautiful
in design and ornamentation, they are without spot or blemish. His
trousers are mathematically creased, his coat unwrinkled, his linen
like virgin snow. My suggestion is, that if you really want to get rid of
war, the first thing to do is to compel all professional warriors to wear
ill-fitting hand-me-downs, shabby and unpressed, and without gold
trimmings. The glamour and the glory would vanish with the gold.
Then I would abolish the dance of death. Instead of having
perfect drill, hundreds of men deploying with exactitude, I would
make them look like Coxey’s Army, every man for himself, and the
devil take the hindmost.
But above all, I would silence the drum and fife, and the big
brass band. Although I myself hate war, and should like to see it
abolished, whenever I hear the thrilling roll of the drums and the shrill
scream of the fifes, followed by the sight and sound of marching
men, their bayonets gleaming in the sunshine, I want to cry. A lump
comes up in my throat and I am ready to fight anybody or anything. If
you really want to get rid of war, you must not surround it with pomp
and majesty, you must not give it such a chance at our hearts.
Although wars are never started by warriors, but only by
politicians and tradesmen, for the very last place where a foreign war
could begin would be at Annapolis or West Point; still, there is no
doubt that high officers have a ripping time during a great war, and
that the surviving soldiers love to talk about it (among themselves) at
their regular reunions in later years. Shakespeare, himself no soldier,
understood perfectly how the professional feels. This is the farewell
he put in the mouth of Othello:

Farewell the tranquil mind: farewell content!


Farewell the plumed troop and the big wars
That make ambition virtue! O, farewell!
Farewell the neighing steed, and the shrill trump,
The spirit-stirring drum, the ear-piercing fife,
The royal banner, and all quality,
Pride, pomp, and circumstance of glorious war!

Even so: Othello was a sentimentalist. He had more passion


than brains. That is why Iago and not Desdemona made him jealous;
that is why, with the loss of war and women, he lost everything. He
was without any intellectual resources.
The leaders of thought and the leaders of morals have usually
been against war. Although the historical books of the Old Testament
and the emotional Psalms celebrated the glory of war, the
contemporary sober-minded prophets were against it. They
prophesied the coming of universal peace, when the money spent on
armaments would be devoted to agriculture and to education. The
appearance of Jesus was the signal for peace on earth and good will
to men.
Jonathan Swift, more than two hundred years ago, said that men
were less intelligent than beasts. A single wild beast would fight for
his food or his mate; but you could never, said Swift, induce a lot of
wild beasts to line up in dress parade, and then fight another set of
wild beasts, whom they did not know.
Benjamin Franklin, the wisest of Americans, immediately after
the Revolutionary War, which he had helped to win, said there had
never been a good war or a bad peace.
But although the wisdom and morality of mankind have been
against war, war goes on; the moment it breaks out in any country,
all the forces of sentimentalism are employed to glorify, yes, even to
sanctify its course. The first great casualty is Reason.
What shall we say of a scholar like the late Sir Walter Raleigh,
Professor of English Literature at Oxford? He continually ridiculed
religion for its sentimentality; but the moment the great war broke
out, no school-girl was more sentimental than he.
Thus the hope for peace lies not in the poets, the literary men,
the preachers and the philanthropists; the hope lies in hardheaded
Scotsmen like Ramsay MacDonald, whose idealism is built on a
foundation of shrewd sense.
XVIII
MAN AND BOY

F. P. A., in his excellent Conning Tower in the New York World for
the Ides of March, pays a fine tribute to E. W. Howe and his
paragraphs long ago in the Atchison Globe. He says: “There were
two paragraphs that appeared just about the time we began reading
the Globe, which we are willing to bet were written by Ed himself. He
was less oracular in those days. They were something like the
following:

‘We have been editing a newspaper for twenty-five years,


and have learned that the only thing a newspaper can safely
attack is the man-eating shark.
‘A boy thinks, “What a fine time a man has!” And a man
thinks, “What a fine time a boy has!” And what a rotten time they
both have!’”

There is a strange reluctance on the part of most people to admit


that they enjoy life. Having the honour of a personal acquaintance
with both F. P. A. and Ed Howe, it is my belief they both had a happy
childhood and that they are now having a good time in this strangest
of all possible worlds. No one can judge another’s inner state of
mind, but as these distinguished humorists are men of unusually
high intelligence I think they find life immensely interesting; and to be
constantly interested is to be happy.
I remember a magnificent reply made by F. P. A. to a remark of
that hirsute Englishman, D. H. Lawrence; the latter, commenting in
that tactless fashion so characteristic of foreign visitors to these
shores, said, “It must be terrible to be funny every day.” “No,” said
F. P. A., “not so terrible as never to be funny at all.”
I spent an agreeable afternoon in Florida talking with Ed Howe,
or rather in hearing him talk. He told a succession of anecdotes and
stories, and it was clear that he not only enjoyed telling them, which
he did with consummate art, but that he enjoyed having them in his
mind.
Why is it so many people are afraid to admit they are happy? I
have a large and intimate acquaintance with farmers; many of them
are splendid men. But how cautious they are in their replies to casual
questions! If everything is going as well as could possibly be
expected and you ask them how they are, they say, “Can’t
complain.”
If a man says, “I have had and am having a happy life,” he is
regarded by many as being a shallow and superficial thinker; but if
he says, “My most earnest wish is that I had never been born,” many
believe that he has a profound mind.
With regard to the saying quoted from the Atchison Globe that a
boy thinks a man has a fine time and a man thinks a boy has a fine
time and in reality both have a rotten time—well, the statement,
whoever said it, is shallow and untrue. When I was a boy I had lots
of fun, and I deeply pitied old men of thirty-two because I supposed
they had no fun at all. Then, when I became a man, I realised how
enormously richer in happiness is manhood than boyhood.
The average American boy has a pretty good time. What fun, on
emerging from school on Friday afternoon, to know that tomorrow is
Saturday! What fun to play games, to go on exploring adventures in
neighbouring woods, to have picnics and jollifications, to live a life of
active uselessness! The mere physical health of boyhood makes one
feel like a young dog released from a chain. “Mere living” is good.
I remember seeing a picture of an old man addressing a small
boy. “How old are you?” “Well, if you go by what Mama says, I’m five.
But if you go by the fun I’ve had, I’m most a hundred.”
Joseph Conrad, who was a grave and serious man, said he was
neither an optimist nor a pessimist. He did not think life was perfect,
but pessimism, he said, was intellectual arrogance. He made the
point that no matter what was one’s religion or philosophy, this at all
events is a spectacular universe.
To deny life, to show no appreciation of it, seems to me both
ungrateful and stupid. If you showed a man the Himalaya Mountains,
the ocean in a storm, sunrise in the desert, the Court of Honour in
1893, the Cathedral of Chartres, and he looked at them all with a
lack-lustre eye, we should think him stupid. Well, the universe itself
is tremendously spectacular, and the best shows in it are free. To go
through life in rebellion, disgust or even in petulance, is the sign, not
of a great, but of a dull mind.
How ridiculous it is for a boy to wish he were a man and how
much more ridiculous for a man to wish he were a boy! It is as silly
as crying for the moon. Instead of always longing for something
beyond our reach, why not simply make the best of what we have?
This would be a platitude if it were not that so very few people follow
it.
There is certainly enough sorrow in the world, but I sometimes
think we should enjoy life more if we had more of the divine gift of
appreciation, if we were not so unappreciative. When Addison
thanked God for the various pleasures of life, he thanked Him most
of all for a cheerful heart.
More than two hundred years ago he wrote in the Spectator:

Ten thousand thousand precious gifts


My daily thanks employ;
Nor is the least a cheerful heart
That tastes these gifts with joy.
XIX
AMBITION

What do we really mean when we say of a man, “He is too good


for this world?” Do we mean exactly that, do we mean he is so far
loftier in character than the average person that he seems almost out
of place in a world like this? Don’t we rather mean that he lacks
human sympathy and understanding, and therefore can be of no real
use to anybody?
If you remember the character of Hilda in Hawthorne’s novel,
The Marble Faun, you may remember that she used to be held up as
an ideal of the religious life. “Her soul was like a star and dwelt
apart.” But from the selfish sanctity of its seclusion, no real good
resulted; no one was aided or cheered in the struggle of life. No one
could confide in her, for she could not even confide in herself. Her
nature may have had the purity of an angel, but it lacked the purity of
a noble woman. She was no help to sinners; she was their despair.
Her purity was like that of one who hesitates to rescue a drowning
man, for fear of soiling his clothes.
Hilda gave up the world and worldly pleasure; easily enough, for
she abhorred it, and felt ill at ease in society. But though she gave up
many things precious to the average person, she had no conception
of the meaning of the word self-denial.
For the true sacrifice, if one wishes to be of real use in this world,
consists not in the giving of things, but in giving oneself. If a man’s
life consists not in the abundance of things which he possesses, so
the sacrificial life consists not in the number of luxuries one
surrenders, but in the devotion of oneself, in the denial of the will.
There is a certain kind of purity which is fundamentally selfish.

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