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Instructor’s Manual for McDaniel, Close Relations: An Introduction to the Sociology of Families, 5e

Chapter 6: Parenting
Childbearing, Socialization, and Parenting Challenges

CHAPTER SUMMARY

The parent-child bond, along with the couple bond discussed in the previous two sections, are
the most fundamental of familial relationships. Because the concepts of family and parenting
remain so closely intertwined — indeed, for many, being a parent is tantamount to being in a
family — this chapter is central to the sociological study of close relations.

Chapter Six opens with a discussion about the decision to become a parent, and the central
place that parenthood sits within our concept of family. The circumstances and issues
surrounding single parenting, adolescent parenting, adoption, childlessness, same-sex
parenting, and medically assisted reproduction are explored. Students also learn about the role
of the parent as the child’s primary socializing agent and catalyst for the development of
gender and/or ethnic identities.

The second half of the chapter focuses on sociological insights into the parenting process
itself. The topics discussed are of a practical nature: What does research suggest is the most
effective and constructive form of parenting How does family health affecting parenting, and
vice versa? Finally, an overview is given of a variety of common and not-so-common parent-
child relationships, including young parents, single parents, gay and lesbian families.

CHAPTER OUTLINE

Entering Parenthood
Decisions about Entering Parenthood
Entering Parenthood in the Past
Entering Parenthood Today: Family Planning
Entering Parenthood Young
Child Rearing Alone
The Decision Not to Have Children
Adoption
Assisted Fertility
How Parenthood Affects Relationships
Life Course Concerns
Socialization
Gender Socialization
Ethnic Socialization
Parenting Processes
Love and Attachment
Emotional Stability and Family Cohesion
Protectiveness and Control
Fair and Moderate Discipline
Caring for Sick Children
Variations on a Theme
Single Parents
Parenting in Poverty Gay and
Lesbian Families Aboriginal Families
Custodial Grandparents
Cultural Variation
Information Communication Technology
Concluding Remarks

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KEY TERMS AND CONCEPTS

authoritarian parenting Parenting characterized by low acceptance and high control, which
can hinder the development of expressiveness and independence in children.

authoritative parenting Parenting characterized by high acceptance and high control, which
produces the best outcomes in children.

birth rate Number of births per 100 000 people in a given year.

control and supervision The extent to which parents oversee and censure their children’s
behaviour.

family cohesion A sense of attachment and relatedness among members of a family, both
maintained and signified by shared activities, self-identification as a family member, and signs
of familiarity and liking.

gender socialization The social learning process a person goes through to acquire gender
roles and gender-based habits. This is usually done through family, peer groups, schools, and
the mass media.

induction A form of discipline focused on using reason to encourage children to behave in

certain ways in order to benefit themselves or others. For example, a child will be told to put
away her toys so that others will not trip over them.

internal moral control An emotional feeling, such as guilt, that inhibits non-compliance.

love withdrawal A form of punishment to a child for non-compliance, where a child is denied
the expression of love.

parental involvement Spending time with children, talking about them, and thinking about
them.

permissive parenting A type of parenting with high acceptance and low control.

power assertion Threatening a child with punishment, usually in physical form, for
noncompliance.

primary socialization Learning that takes place during childhood.

socialization The social learning process a person goes through to become a capable,
functioning member of society; to prepare for life in society.

unengaged parenting A type of parenting with low acceptance and low control.

MOTIVATIONAL ACTIVITIES

1. Secretly divide the class into four groups, based on where they are sitting in the classroom.
For the duration of a lecture, treat each group in accordance with one of the following four
parental styles: permissive, unengaged, authoritarian, and authoritative (e.g., for the
“unengaged” group, be curt but otherwise ignore them; for the “authoritative” group, direct
questions and discussions to them, treat them with respect, etc.). Afterwards, discuss with

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students their feelings towards the class and towards their instructor. Emphasize the
differences between this artificial scenario and a parent-child relationship.

2. What are students’ expectations of gender roles? How were they brought up by their
parents? How do they feel about traditional gender norms today? Do they continue to
practice them, in their own behaviour and in their judgments of others?

3. “Parents working or educated in a specific field increase the probability that a child will
make a similar choice of educational program at upper secondary school.” How true is this
in your classroom? Poll students to see how many followed in their mothers’ or fathers’
footsteps. What gender differences, if any, are present?

4. Discuss the challenges faced by teenaged parents in contemporary North American

society. What are the challenges faced by teen mothers vs. teen fathers? What could
society do to assist teen parents with the challenges they face? What role can sex
education play in the incidence of teen parenthood?

5. Discuss parenting in a multicultural country like Canada. In what ways have students of
ethnic backgrounds had to deal with cultural conflicts between parental expectations and
western social practices. Do second-generation students feel identifying themselves as
being more Canadian, more ethnic, or a balanced mix of both?

6. What limits should schools and teachers have when disciplining unruly children?
Considering the increasing frequency of news stories in recent years of high school
students abusing and attacking teachers, what does the class think about teen behaviour in
schools? How much of a parent should a teacher be, or be expected to be?

ANSWERS TO CRITICAL THINKING QUESTIONS

1. Why and how might the ways a society defines “family” affect people’s attitudes toward
child-bearing, contraception, adoption, and abortion?

Page 171-171 People define what a family is based on the influence of their culture,
religious beliefs combined with rational choices and emotional longing. Society’s
acceptance or rejection of contraception, adoption and abortion also influence the
individual’s decision whether or not to start a family.

2. How and why might literacy and education affect contraception, child-bearing, and
parenting even in a society as developed as Canada?

Page 166: Within Canada, education, social and economic opportunities vary all of which
influence the rates of contraception.

3. What are the social pros and cons around medically assisted procreation? What ethical
issues are likely to enter into “engineered” pregnancies?

Pages 171-172: The pros around medically assisted procreation are: although a small
number, some couples are able to have a baby. Some cons are: the stress and strain, both
financial and emotional while going through the procedures. Some families have more
babies than they planned for, (e.g. 2009 octuplets born to a woman who already had 6
children).

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Some ethical issues to consider are as follows: Does the mother get an abortion if she
believes that she is carrying too many children? What are the effects of the keeping the
genetic background of the baby hidden? What information is given to clients, and what
outcomes do couples face when the ongoing treatment is not successful?

4. How and why do parents socialize their children? How and why do children socialize their
parents?

Pages 180-181: Parents socialize their children because they want to teach them skills,
behaviours, cultural and traditional beliefs that they feel will help them develop into healthy
individuals in society. This is when a child learns that certain behaviours gain rewards as
well as learning to negotiate with their parents and individuals outside of the family. Gender
socialization is the learning of society’s gender-based habits, norms, and expectations. It
begins at birth in the way that parents treat their children, and continues throughout life, in
school, among friends, and in the workplace.

Parents socialize their children by modelling good behaviour and communication. Children
socialize their parents as well. In healthy relationships the parent adjusts their parenting
style to better fit with the child’s personality. In unhealthy relationships, where the parent
feels guilt about circumstances such as divorce, the parent may look for affection or love
from the child and may adjust their parenting styles to meet their own needs.

5. Are there conditions under which attachment to one’s parents is likely to be a bad thing?
Explain.

Pages 184-185: A child who does not get their needs met will not feel loved and confident.
The less supportive and attentive the parent is the more likely delinquent behaviour will
occur in the child later on in life.

6. How should our society draw the line between fair and justified discipline, on the one hand,
and child abuse, on the other?

Pages 186-187: Using the right amount of discipline and the right technique is important
when parenting. Parents who use power assertion teach the child to fear the parent or
other individuals who are caring for them. Parents who use love withdrawal as a form of
discipline do not teach the child appropriate ways in which to behave but rather teach the
child that parental love will withdrawn if they misbehave. This creates anxiety in the child
who worries that their parents do not love them. Noting the importance of attachment and
security for children, this form of punishment does much damage to the child. The final
method, induction, teaches the child how to behave well without suffering physical or
emotional pain. The behaviour is internalized by the child and they behave well even when
the parental figures are not near them.

Over half of people who threaten to spank their child do so. Not only is it ineffective, but it
creates low self esteem in the child and later affects them when adults (e.g. More
aggressive, depressed, etc.).

Educating parents how to discipline without spanking or hitting their child as well as the
harmful consequences of physical punishment is essential. Unless education and parental
support are readily available for parents to access, society will have difficulty in drawing
that line between fair and justified discipline and child abuse because spanking is very
much ingrained as being a normal form of punishment for misbehaving children.

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Instructor’s Manual for McDaniel, Close Relations: An Introduction to the Sociology of Families, 5e

7. How does homecare for a chronically sick child affect the family as a whole, and each
member of the family separately: the father, the mother, the sick child, his or her siblings?

Page 188: If the mother is the main caretaker of the sick child, her health will decline.
Fathers and siblings tend to be left out of the mother-child relationship. The siblings may
have behavioural problems at home and at school because of their inability to successfully
express their needs and feelings. The family as a whole sees a decline in its well-being
unless the family has functioned well prior to the illness of the child. Studies have shown
that the family “pulls together” and is able to cope with this stress.

8. Can different “kinds” of families—for example, two-parent versus one-parent families,

cohabiting versus married parent families, heterosexual versus homosexual families,
native-born versus immigrant families—parent their children equally well? Explain your
answer.

Pages 189-192,194-197, When a dysfunctional family breaks down and a single-parent

family emerges, the family sees better functioning, less stress and depression. The
difficulty with being a single-parent is the financial aspect as well as not receiving support
from their ex-partner.

Homosexual families face the difficulty of being accepted by society and law. That aside,
many studies have shown that gay and lesbian parents are just as capable parents as
heterosexual parents.

Immigrant families face difficulties when they arrive in their new country. Studies have
shown that as long as fathers are involved, the children benefit greatly from his parenting.
This is also true for native-born Canadians. There is less of a chance of substance abuse
and dysfunctional behaviour.

GROUP ACTIVITIES

1. Split the class into pairs and assign each an egg (or bag of flour, or a small melon, etc.) as
a surrogate “baby” for a week. Have them care for it, taking time to feed and nurture it.
Afterwards, discuss in class the responsibilities of being a parent, how it affects one’s
social life and family relations, and how being a single parent affects one’s choices in life.

2. Devise a set of scenarios involving disobedient children (e.g., a temper tantrum in the
supermarket, your daughter is the school bully, etc.). Split the class up into small groups
and present each scenario one at a time. Have the groups come up with a suitable parental
strategy for dealing with the child. What punishment, if any, should be given?

3. Split into groups of five or six. Come up with a comprehensive government policy to
address the concerns and needs of single parents, particularly adolescent single mothers.

4. Have the students break into small groups of five or six and discuss how residential
schools have affected the Aboriginal peoples with regards to parenting (e.g. Roles models
to follow, attachment to families, culture to follow, discipline used, etc.).

DEBATE SUGGESTIONS

1. Childless couples should be considered a family versus Childless couples should not be
considered a family

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2. Same-sex parenting/parent-child interracial adoption is good versus Same-sex

parenting/parent-child interracial adoption is bad

3. Spanking a disobedient child is a parent’s prerogative versus Spanking a disobedient child

is tantamount to child abuse

4. The state should take on more responsibility for raising children versus The state should
take on less responsibility for raising children

5. Telling an adopted child that they are adopted versus keeping it a secret.

6. Information communication technologies such as cell phones help to foster family cohesion
versus Information communication technologies such as cell phones harm family cohesion.

ESSAY AND RESEARCH PROJECT TOPICS

1. Research the current Canadian government policy on same-sex adoption rights. Interview
adoption agencies about their policies as well. Contrast the Canadian view with those in
other countries and cultures. Argue in favour or against same-sex family adoption.

2. Compare and contrast North American and Scandinavian government social policies for
single parents, especially single mothers. What preventative measures does each party
take to discourage adolescent parenting? What support resources are in place to help
those who choose to raise a child alone? Evaluate the effectiveness of Canadian policy,
and identify areas for improvement.

3. Investigate in detail the latest developments in the world of artificial fertilization methods.
What are the success and failure rates? What are the controversies surround genetic
“designer babies”?

4. Examine the cross-national research on teen parenthood. What factors play a role in cross-
cultural variations in the incidence of teen parenthood?

5. What do other relevant academic disciplines, such as evolutionary biology or psychology,

have to say about parenting? What are the origins and motivations of parenting? How does
the parent-child bond form, and how is it maintained?

6. Explore cultural variations in parenting styles. What has research unveiled about how
parents in other societies view their children and the act of childrearing?

FILM AND VIDEO SELECTIONS

Babies (2010, documentary, 79 minutes). This unique cross-cultural documentary profiles one
year in the life of babies within their families in four countries: Mongolia, Namibia, San
Francisco, and Tokyo. Themes in the documentary include child development, parenting, and
family in diverse contexts.

Parenting (1987, documentary, 72 minutes). Three short films explore the effects of childrearing
on family life. The first story documents the discrepancies between expectations and reality for a
couple during their first three months of parenthood; the second deals with post-partum

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Instructor’s Manual for McDaniel, Close Relations: An Introduction to the Sociology of Families, 5e

depression, a common experience for many new mothers; the third contrasts parenting styles in
Japan with those in the West. Available from the National Film Board of Canada.

Parenting Across Cultures (2009, TVO documentary, 28 minutes). A diverse panel of experts
discuss cross-cultural parenting and immigrant children in Canada. Topics explored include the
home cultures of the immigrant parents and how this may change upon migration to
Canada.The effects of the home culture on the upbringing of the children are also discussed.
This video is available online at http://tvoparents.tvo.org/video/162401/parenting-across-cultures

Maybe Baby (2007, documentary, 90 minutes). This documentary profiles single women in
their 30s and 40s who choose to have babies through the use of Assisted Reproductive
Technology. The themes in the film explore infertility, love, and motherhood.

Autism: The Road Back (2005, NFB documentary, 54 minutes). This film is about three families
who struggle to care for children who are on the autism spectrum. The film shows the
challenges of parenting and sustaining a healthy marital relationship while advocating for one’s
child. This film is available online through the National Film Board of Canada at nfb.ca.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting (2012, feature film, 110 minutes). This film looks at
parenting and love through the experiences of five interconnected couples. The couples deal
with life’s challenges as they begin the journey of parenting.

Grandparenting (2012, TVO documentary, 50 minutes). Thousands of custodial grandparents

are raising children across Canada. What happens when plans for a comfortable and stress-free
retirement are interrupted by child-rearing duties? This film follows seniors ranging from their
early 60s to late 70s as they address the challenges and benefits of ‘second-time’ parenting.
This documentary is available online through http://docstudio.tvo.org/story/grandparenting

Copyright © 2015 Pearson Canada Inc.

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the accumulated disgust of her Munich years. Unassorted, confused,
she poured it all out, one thing after another; she kept nothing back.
It was like the bursting of a dam—an assertion of desperate integrity;
something elemental, a force of nature, that brooked no restraint.
“It is the truth!” she cried. “Say it again, Thomas! Oh, I can tell you
plainly, I am no stupid goose any longer; I know what I have to
expect. I don’t faint away at my time of life, to hear that dirty work
goes on now and then. I’ve known people like Teary Trieschke, and I
was married to Bendix Grünlich, and I know the dissipated creatures
there are here in this town. I am no country innocent, I tell you; and
the affair with Babette wouldn’t have made me go off the handle like
that, just by itself. No, Thomas, the thing was that it filled the cup to
overflowing—and that didn’t take much, for it was full already, and
had been for a long time—a long time. It would have taken very little
to make it run over. And then this happened! The knowledge that I
could not depend on Permaneder even in that way—that put the top
on everything. It knocked the bottom out of the cask. It brought to a
head all at once my intention to get away from Munich, that had
been slowly growing in my mind a long time before that, Tom; for I
cannot live down there—I swear it before God and all His heavenly
hosts! How wretched I have been, Thomas, you can never know.
When you were there on a visit, I concealed everything, for I am a
tactful woman and do not burden others with my complainings, nor
wear my heart on my sleeve on a week-day. I have always been
rather reserved. But I have suffered, Tom, suffered with my entire
being—with my whole personality, so to speak. Like a plant, a flower
that has been transplanted into a foreign soil—if I may make such a
comparison. You will probably find it a most unsuitable one, for I am
really an ugly old woman—but I could not be planted in a more
foreign soil than that, and I would just as lief go and live in Turkey!
Oh, we should never be transplanted, we northern folk! We should
stick to the shore of our own bay; we can only really thrive upon our
native soil! You all used to laugh at my taste for the nobility. Yes, in
these years I have often thought of what somebody said to me once,
in times gone by. A very clever man. ‘Your sympathies are with the
nobility,’ he said. ‘Shall I tell you why? Because you yourself belong
to the nobility. Your father is a great gentleman, and you are a
princess. A gulf lies between you and the rest of us who do not
belong to the governing classes.’ Yes, Tom. We feel like the nobility,
and we realize the difference; we should never try to live where we
are not known, where no one understands our worth, for we shall
have nothing but chagrin, and be laughed at for our arrogance. Yes,
they all found me ridiculously arrogant. They did not say so, but I felt
it every minute, and that made me suffer, too. Do you think I feel
arrogant, Tom—in a place where they eat cake with a knife, and the
very princes speak bad grammar, and if a gentleman picks up a
lady’s fan it is supposed to be a love-affair. Get used to it? To people
without dignity, morals, energy, ambition, self-respect, or good
manners, lazy and frivolous, stupid and shallow at the same time?—
no, never, never, as long as I am a Buddenbrook and your sister!
Eva Ewers managed it—but Eva is not a Buddenbrook, and she has
a husband that amounts to something. It was different with me. You
think back, Tom, from the very beginning: I come from a home where
people work and get things accomplished and have a purpose in life,
and I go down there to Permaneder—and he sits himself down with
my dowry— Oh, that was genuine enough, that was characteristic—
but it was the only good thing there was about it! And then? I was
going to have a baby; that would have made everything up to me.
And what happens? It dies. I don’t blame Permaneder for that, of
course; I don’t mean that. God forbid. He did everything he could—
and he didn’t go to the café for several days. But, after all, it
belonged to the same thing. It made me no happier, as you can well
believe. But I didn’t give in, and I didn’t grumble. I was alone, and
misunderstood, and pointed at for being arrogant; but I said to
myself: ‘You yielded him your consent for life. He is lumpy and lazy,
and he caused you a cruel disappointment. But his heart is pure, and
he means well.’ And then I had to bear the sight of him in that last
unspeakable minute. And I said to myself: ‘He understands you no
better and respects you no more and no less than the others do, and
he calls you names that one of our workmen up here wouldn’t throw
at a dog!’ I knew then that nothing bound me to him any more, and
that it was an indignity for me to stay. When I was driving from the
station this afternoon, I passed Nielsen the porter, and he took off his
hat and made me a deep bow, and I bowed back to him—not
arrogantly, not a bit—I waved my hand, just the way Father used to.
And here I am. You can do what you like: you can harness up all
your work-horses—but you can never drag me back to Munich
again. And to-morrow I go to Gieseke!”
Thus she spoke; and, finishing, sank back exhausted in her chair
and stared again out of the window.
Tom was alarmed, shaken, stupefied. He stood before her and found
no words. He raised his arms up shoulder-high, drawing a long
breath. Then he let them fall against his thighs.
“Well, that’s an end of it,” he said. His voice was calm, and he turned
and went toward the door.
Her face wore now the same expression, the same half-pouting, half-
injured smile, as when he entered.
“Tom?” she said, with a rising inflection. “Are you vexed with me?”
He held the oval doorknob in one hand and made a gesture of weary
protest with the other. “Oh, no. Not at all.”
She put out her hand and tipped her head on one side. “Come here,
Tom. Your poor sister has had a hard time. Life is hard on her. She
has much to bear. And at this minute she has nobody, in all the world
—”
He came back; he took her hand; but wearily, indifferently, not
looking at her face. Suddenly her lip began to quiver.
“You must go on alone now,” she said. “There’s nothing good to be
looked for from Christian, and I am finished. Failed. Gone to pieces. I
can do no more. I am a poor, useless woman, dependent on you all
for my living. I could never have dreamed, Tom, that I should be no
help to you at all. Now you stand quite alone, and upon you it
depends to keep up the honour and dignity of the family. May God
help you in the task.”
Two large, clear, childish tears rolled down over her cheeks, which
were beginning to show, very faintly, the first signs of age.
 CHAPTER XI
Tony lost no time. She went resolutely about her affair. In the hope
of quieting her, of bringing her slowly to a different frame of mind, the
Consul said but little. He asked only one thing: that she should be
very quiet and stop entirely in the house—and Erica as well. Perhaps
it would blow over. The town did not need to know. The family
Thursday afternoon was put off on some pretext.
But on the very next day she wrote to Dr. Gieseke and summoned
him to Meng Street. She received him alone, in the middle corridor
room on the first floor, where a fire was laid, and she had arranged a
heavy table with ink and writing materials and a quantity of foolscap
paper from the office. They sat down in two easy-chairs.
“Doctor Gieseke,” said Tony. She folded her arms, flung back her
head, and looked at the ceiling while she spoke. “You are a man of
experience, both professionally and personally. I can speak openly
with you.” And thereupon she revealed to him the whole story about
Babette and what had happened in her sleeping-chamber. Dr.
Gieseke regretted being obliged to explain to her that neither the
affair on the stairs nor the insult she had undoubtedly received, the
precise nature of which she hesitated to divulge, was sufficient
ground for a divorce.
“Very good,” she said. “Thank you.”
And then, at her request, he gave an exposition of the existing legal
grounds for divorce, and an even longer discourse after it, which had
for its subject-matter the law touching dowry rights. She listened with
open mind and strained attention; and then, with cordial thanks,
dismissed Dr. Gieseke for the time being.
She went downstairs and demanded audience of her brother in his
private office.
“Thomas,” she said, “please write to the man at once—I do not like
to mention his name. As far as the money goes, I am perfectly
informed on that subject. Let him speak. Me he shall never see
again, whatever he decides. If he agrees to a divorce, we will ask
him to give an accounting and restore my dos. If he refuses, we
need not be discouraged. For, as you probably know, Permaneder’s
right to my dos, is, legally speaking a property right. We grant that.
But on the other hand, thank goodness, I have certain material rights
on my side—”
The Consul walked up and down with his hands behind his back, his
shoulders twitching nervously. Tony’s face, as she uttered the word
dos was too unutterably self-satisfied!
He had no time. Heaven knew he had no time. Let her have
patience, and wait, and bethink herself a hundred times. His nearest
duty was a journey to Hamburg—indeed, he must go the very next
day, for the purpose of a personal interview with Christian. Christian
had written for help, for money which would have to come out of the
Frau Consul’s inheritance. His business was in frightful condition; he
was in constant difficulties. Yet he seemed to amuse himself royally
and went everywhere, to theatres, restaurants, and concert halls. To
judge from the debts now coming to light, which he had been able to
pile up on the credit of his family name, he had been living far, far
beyond his means. And they knew in Meng Street, and at the club—
yes, the whole town knew—who was responsible. It was a certain
female, a certain Aline Puvogel, who lived alone with her two pretty
children. Christian was not the only Hamburg business man who
possessed her favours and spent money on her.
In short, Tony’s intentions in the matter of her divorce were not the
only dark spot in the Consul’s sky; and the journey to Hamburg was
pressing. Besides, it was altogether likely that they would hear from
Herr Permaneder.
The Consul went to Hamburg, and came back angry and depressed.
No word had come from Munich, and he felt obliged to take the first
step. He wrote; wrote rather coldly, with curt condescension, to this
effect: Antonie, during her life with Permaneder, had been subjected
to great disappointments—that would not be denied. Without going
into detail, it was evident that she could never find happiness in this
marriage. Her wish that it should be dissolved must be justified, to
the mind of any reasonable person; and her determination not to
return to Munich was entirely unshakable. And he put the question
as to what were Herr Permaneder’s feelings in view of the facts
which he had just stated.
There were more days of suspense. And then came Herr
Permaneder’s reply.
He answered as no one had expected him to answer—not Dr.
Gieseke, nor the Frau Consul, not Thomas, nor Antonie herself. He
agreed, quite simply, to a divorce.
He wrote that he deeply regretted what had happened, but that he
respected Antonie’s wishes, as he saw that he and she had “never
hit it off.” If it were true that she had suffered during those years
through him, he begged her to forget and forgive. As he would
probably never see her and Erica again, he sent them both his
hearty good-wishes for all happiness on this earth. And he signed
himself, Alois Permaneder. In a postscript he offered to make
immediate restitution of the dowry. He had enough without it to lead
a life free from care. He did not require to have notice given, for
business there was none to wind up, the house belonged to him, and
the money was ready any time.
Tony felt a slight twinge of shame, and was almost inclined, for the
first time, to admit that Herr Permaneder’s indifference to money
matters might have something good about it.
Now it was Dr. Gieseke’s turn again. He communicated with the
husband, and a plea of “mutual incompatibility” was set up as ground
for the divorce. The hearing began—Tony’s second divorce case.
She talked about it night and day, and the Consul lost his temper
several times. Tony was in no state to share his feelings. She was
entirely taken up with words like “tangibilities,” “improvabilities,”
“accessions,” “productivity,” “dowry rights,” and the like, which she
used in season and out of season, with marvellous fluency, her
shoulders slightly raised. One point in Dr. Gieseke’s long
disquisitions had made a great impression on her: it had to do with
“treasure” found in any piece of property that has constituted part of
a dowry, which was to be regarded as a component part of the
dowry, to be liquidated if the marriage came to an end. About this
“treasure”—which was, of course, non-existent—she talked to every
soul she knew: Ida Jungmann, Uncle Justus, poor Clothilde, the
Broad Street Buddenbrooks—and they, when they heard how
matters stood, just folded their hands in their laps and looked at each
other in speechless joy that this satisfaction, too, had been
vouchsafed them. Therese Weichbrodt was told of it—Erica had
gone to stay at the pension again—and Madame Kethelsen too,
though this last, for more than one reason, understood not a single
word.
Then came the day when the divorce was pronounced; when the last
formalities were gone through, and Tony asked Thomas for the
family papers and set down this last event with her own hand. Yes, it
was done. All that remained was to get used to it.
She did it gallantly. She bore, with unscathed dignity, the tiny dagger-
thrusts of the ladies from Broad Street; she met the Hagenströms
and Möllendorpfs on the street and looked with chilling indifference
straight over their heads; and she quite gave up going into society—
the more easily that it had for some years past forsaken her Mother’s
house for her brother’s. She had her own immediate family, the Frau
Consul, Tom, and Gerda; she had Ida Jungmann and her motherly
friend Sesemi Weichbrodt; and she had Erica, upon whose future
she probably built her own last secret hopes, and upon whose
aristocratic upbringing she expended much care and thought.
Thus she lived, and thus time went on.
Later, in some way that was never quite clear, there came to certain
members of the family knowledge of that “word,” the desperate word
which had escaped from Herr Permaneder on that never-to-be-
forgotten night.
What was it, then, that he had said?
“Go to the devil, you filthy sprat-eating slut!”
And thus Tony Buddenbrook’s second marriage came to an end.
END OF VOLUME I
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