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The constable took the hair and placed it carefully between the
blank pages of his notebook. He was not quite certain as to its
precise importance, but he was very amenable to suggestion. “’E’s
dead all right,” he announced portentously.
In the background Mr. Priestley was hovering uneasily. The
aching to escape was getting almost unbearable. Whatever this
extraordinary girl might or might not be, her continued proximity to
the representative of the Law was intolerable. Escape first, and
explanations, perhaps, afterwards; but anyhow, escape first! He cast
agonising glances from her to the invitingly open window, and from
the open window to her. The ridiculous child did not seem even to
understand the awful gravity of her position.
Casting discretion to the winds, he caught her eye with his own
rolling optic, jerked his head backward and then nodded it towards
the window; he could not make his meaning plainer without words.
He had made it only too plain. The constable might not have
possessed the brightest intellect in Duffley, but Mr. Priestley’s
agitated eye and jerky leaping would have conveyed suspicion to the
most charitable. The constable rose portentously to his feet. Mr.
Priestley edged towards the window. The constable followed him.
Unfortunately for Mr. Priestley’s plans it was his opponent this
time who had the revolver. Nor did he scruple to employ it. “You
stand still!” ordered the constable in a dignified bellow, the inner
meaning of the situation growing plainer to him every minute. Here
was a perfectly good murder, and here were two people in a state of
considerable agitation, and here also was a revolver. This wanted
looking into. “You stand still!” he repeated, advancing to look into it.
Mr. Priestley stood still; but he did not stand silent. “Run!” he
shouted suddenly to the girl, unawed even by the menacing revolver.
“Run for it—window—I’ll look after this chap! Get away!”
“Ho!” said the policeman, and promptly placed his burly body
between the girl and the window. “Would, would you? You’ll ’ave to
comealongerme, both of you. Now then, ’ands up!”
It is difficult not to accede to the request of a formidable man
when his demand is emphasised by a judiciously wielded revolver,
and there was no doubt that the constable was now a very
formidable man indeed. The state of affairs had become even
clearer to him. Here were not only two murderers, caught quite
literally red-handed, but here also was himself, and at the business
end of a revolver. Even the constable could put this two and two
together and make the answer “sergeant.”
After a momentary hesitation, Mr. Priestley’s hands wobbled up.
After a still longer hesitation, those of the girl did also. The happy,
carefree expression had departed from her face; she looked like a
lady who had made advances to a cow and found that she was
toying with a bull. The corpse took a hasty glance round and uttered
a faint, strangled sound, but spoke no word; his not to reason why,
his but to do and die. He went on dying.
By means of a series of brisk commands, punctuated by prods
of the revolver, the constable manœuvred his captives into line
facing the door. They jumped nimbly to execute his pleasure. Then
their wrists adjacent to one another were gripped, there was a sharp
click, and the sound ensued as of a heavy body stepping back with
satisfaction.
“Now you can take ’em down,” observed the constable almost
benevolently, regarding his handiwork with modest pride. “And stand
still while I make out me report, if you please. An’ don’t you try any
more monkey-tricks with me.” He drew out a stub of pencil from his
pocket, seated himself at the desk, laid the revolver in front of him
and contemplated the two with a truculent eye.
They returned his gaze gloomily, even Mr. Priestley. Mr.
Priestley had never before been tethered by the wrist to that of a
particularly charming young woman, and he might have been
pardoned for feeling a little exhilaration in the idea; yet his
countenance was completely lacking in exhilaration. A large number
of emotions, it is true, were represented there, but exhilaration was
not among them. Nor did the young woman evince any greater
delight in being tethered to Mr. Priestley. Handcuffs evidently brought
her soul no joy. By her expression, anybody less addicted to the use
of handcuffs would have been hard to find. She now wore the air of
one who has stepped gaily into a train labelled Birmingham, and
finds herself in Crewe; a blend of dismay, annoyance, bewilderment
as to the precise whereabouts, and anxiety regarding the return to
the starting-point. The corpse was now prudently keeping its eyes
tightly closed.
And then events happened with a rapidity that would have done
credit to an American Cinema producer. With one dive Mr. Priestley
was at the desk, and the revolver in his hand. With another he was
at the nearest door, and lo! it was open. The young woman, having
no option, followed his movements about the room with the jerky
leaps of a fish manœuvring in mid-air, at the end of a line; this was
not the moment to consider feminine deportment, and Mr. Priestley
quite rightly did not stop to do so.
The door he had flung open was not that by which they had
entered the room; it gave access to a shallow cupboard, having
shelves across its upper half and tolerably empty below. Mr. Priestley
viewed it for one-fifth of a second with exultation, then he turned
back to the thoroughly bewildered constable. Rural constables get
very little time for attending the cinema.
“Get in there,” said Mr. Priestley very grimly to the constable, “as
you value your life.” And he in turn pointed his words by a recourse
to the argumentum ad hominem.
The constable did value his life. He did not know very much of
what was happening, but he did know that. He got in.
Mr. Priestley closed the door on him and turned the key. Then
he bent down, jerked the young woman’s right wrist somewhere into
the neighbourhood of the small of her back, and curved his free arm
round her knees. The next moment she was swung off her feet and
hoisted up in the air, while this new cave-man edition of Mr. Priestley
trotted with hasty, if slightly wobbly steps out into the night. Thus did
the knight not only rescue his lady, but even carried her off with him
in the orthodox way.
The corpse was so far galvanised as to sit up and stare after
their swaying figures. Then he, too, rose and fled into the night,
uttering strange noises.
Chapter V.
Confusing the Issue
In the shadow of a shrubbery two hitherto respectable English
citizens clutched one another with ecstatic fingers, moaning feebly.
Through uncurtained French windows just in front of them a large
policeman could be seen, flourishing a revolver. The words, “You
stand still!” floated out into the peaceful night.
“Oh, my sacred hat!” moaned the shorter of the two citizens in
the shrubbery. “This is better than the films—far, far, better. Why go
to the cinema, when you can stage this sort of thing in your own
home?”
The other citizen, a tall, lanky figure with bowed shoulders,
removed his pince-nez, misty with emotion, and polished them
hastily. His long body quivered with guilty joy. “Yes, but look here,
Doyle,” he said reluctantly, “what’s going to happen? We can’t have
Laura taken off to the police-station.”
“Why not?” asked that young woman’s future brother-in-law
unfeelingly. “It’d do her all the good in the world. And I wouldn’t bail
her out either. Oh, sportsman!” he added, as more words floated out
on the still air. “He’s trying to get her to bolt for it, see? Strikes me
that old Priestley’s coming through this with colours flying.”
“He is,” agreed Guy. “But I really think we ought to intervene
now, you know. Matters have been taken rather out of our hands,
with this ass of a policeman interfering. We don’t want to get
involved in a conspiracy to make a bigger hass of the law than it
usually is. We’d better go along and explain before things get
worse.”
“Good God, no!” croaked Mr. Doyle with emotion. “For Heaven’s
sake don’t spoil things now, Nesbitt. They’re just beginning to get
interesting. We couldn’t have got a policeman into it more neatly if
we’d plotted for a month. Just think how his presence is going to
intensify our friend’s reactions, my dear chap!”
“That’s true enough,” said Guy quivering again.
“And you needn’t worry about things,” pursued Mr. Doyle
earnestly. “Not so long as Laura’s on the spot. You leave it to her. I’d
back that girl to— Hullo! What the blazes is happening now?”
In the lighted room two uneasy backs now confronted their
audience. The constable could be seen approaching them with awful
determination in every line of his massive form.
“Great Scott!” observed Mr. Doyle a moment later, in tones of
respect. “He’s handcuffed ’em. Handcuffed ’em together. Handcuffed
Laura to—well, well, I’ll be blowed!” One gathered that the person
who ventured to handcuff Laura had earned Mr. Doyle’s deepest
veneration.
Guy began to chuckle silently. The idea of a handcuffed Laura
appeared to appeal to him too.
“Keep still!” Mr. Doyle implored, recovering from the first shock
of this novel spectacle. “Oh, Nesbitt, keep still! We mustn’t interrupt
this. Oh, sacred pigs, how gorgeous! Look, he’s going to make out a
report. My dear chap, can you see Laura’s face? We’ll rescue ’em
later somehow, but—oh, cripes!” He clung to a laurel-branch and
abandoned himself to helpless giggling.
Guy, scarcely less self-controlled, caught at his arm. “Look! That
friend of yours is turning the tables. Oh, well done, man, well done!
Look—he’s going to put him in the cupboard. He—well, I’ll be
hanged!”
With damp eyes they watched Mr. Priestley’s imitation of an
American film-drama. An instant later a heavy body in swift if
somewhat unsteady motion, lumbered past their hiding-place;
peeping cautiously out, they were just able to catch the look of alarm
and despondency which was being worn by the most disconcerted
damsel in England at that moment. They clapped their hands
hurriedly over their mouths and clung to one another again. Then
came George.
“Did you fellows see?” demanded George weakly. “Did you
see?”
“We did, oh admirable corpse,” moaned Mr. Doyle and promptly
clung to this more solid support. “And do you mean to say you lay
through it all and never gave yourself away?”
“Don’t think I did, no,” replied George modestly. “But look here, I
say, what on earth are we going to do? That bobby’s rather messed
things up, hasn’t he?”
“We’ll give them ten minutes to get away,” Guy grinned, “and
then we’ll liberate him. It’s all right, I think. Laura will take her cue
from that handcuff, and see the game’s up. She’ll bring him back
here, and we’ll have to file the thing off. Do you know, I wondered all
the time whether it would come off at all (the plot, I mean, not the
handcuff), but I never dreamed it would fail as gloriously as that.”
“She got him up to scratch all right,” George observed.
“Something to do with letters, he was babbling about. Anyhow, he
pooped off like a good ’un. Well, what about wandering along to the
drawing-room and telling the other two what’s happened? I say, we’ll
have to let that bobby out soon, or he’ll have the house over. Listen
to him!”
They listened. Through the French windows now came sounds
as of a large person in distress, whoopings, bellowings and thuds,
mingled now and then with muffled solos on the policeman’s whistle.
“We’ll give him five minutes,” Guy decided. “Come on, then.”
Doyle caught his arm, his face alight with new excitement. “I
say, Nesbitt,” he spluttered, “don’t go in yet. I—I’ve had a
tremendous brain-wave. Look here—don’t you see what the gods
have sent us?”
“Beyond a bellowing bobby,” said Guy, “and an awkward pair of
handcuffs, I don’t, no.”
“Why,” exclaimed Mr. Doyle, now almost incoherent with
excitement, “why, don’t you see? A detective story in real life! The
stock beginning of half the thrillers ever published! Mysterious
stranger murdered, bobby surprises suspicious couple who may or
may not be guilty, couple turn tables on bobby and make their
escape, and when bobby is released—the corpse has disappeared!
Man, it’s great! We must make use of it somehow!”
They stared at each other. George stared at both of them. He
was not quite sure what was happening, but as long as they did not
want him to put on another false beard or spoil another white shirt
with red ink, he was perfectly game.
Over Guy’s features spread an unholy smile. “This wants
looking into,” he agreed. “Let’s to the drawing-room.”
Disregarding the muffled frenzy from the library, they went.
Two agitated women rose at them as one girl, and danced
before them.
“Guy, dear,” demanded that gentleman’s wife, “what has been
happening? We heard the shot, and then. What is that curious
whistling noise?”
“Pat, tell me the whole story,” Miss Howard danced with
impatience, “or I’ll scream! I couldn’t have stood it a minute longer. I
don’t care how strict your orders were, we were coming out the very
next minute. Weren’t we, Cynthia?”
With all possible haste Guy put them out of their misery. He
went on to mention Mr. Doyle’s brilliant scheme.
“Oh, dear!” Cynthia collapsed weakly into a chair. “Guy, this is
too silly. Poor Laura! Handcuffs! Oh, dear!”
But Miss Howard was made of sterner material. Disregarding
her sister’s interesting predicament, she concentrated on the matter
in hand. “Clues!” she announced, wrinkling her own pretty forehead
in the same way as that which, in her sister’s case, had led directly
to Mr. Priestley’s undoing. “Wait a minute—let me think! The body’s
gone. Yes, but how did it go? It was dragged! Where to? Obviously
the river, where there was a boat waiting in readiness to receive it.
How’s that?”
The others looked at her with respect.
“But look here,” George interposed, “what’s it all about? I mean,
what are you getting at? What’s the idea?”
The others looked at him, without respect.
“They want to set the scene for an ordinary conventional
shilling-dreadful, George, in order to find out what would really
happen in actual life instead of fiction,” Cynthia told him gently. “I’m
not at all sure that I approve. Anyhow, never mind those children;
come and sit here and tell me how you liked being shot. But do, for
goodness’ sake, take off that dreadful beard!” she concluded with a
little squeak, collapsing again.
George did as he was bid, and tugged manfully at his spirit-
gummed beard. Having tugged the tears into his eyes, he gave up
the effort in despair and continued to wear his face-embroidery.
The others were busily conferring.
“A sack of potatoes is what we want,” Doyle remarked. “We
don’t want to have to drag George on the seat of his trousers, but
unless you can suggest anything else——!” He looked inquiringly at
Guy.
“I don’t think we have a sack of potatoes,” Guy replied, “and
there’s always the possibility that George might object. What about a
rug, with George sitting on it? That ought to give the right track.”
“That’s fine,” Dora agreed breathlessly. “Come on, George;
you’re wanted.”
“At once, do you think?” Doyle demurred.
“Of course, idiot!” retorted his fiancée frankly. “We must let him
hear the corpse being dragged out.”
“Dora,” said Mr. Doyle, “you’re a wonder. Come on, George!”
Not altogether willingly, George came.
In the hall Doyle held up his hand. “We’re murderers, don’t
forget,” he whispered. “Now, where the murderer in real life usually
goes wrong (the one who gets caught, I mean) is, as my fellow
criminologist will tell you, through insufficient attention to detail. Take
care of the details, and the body takes care of itself. Let us therefore
concentrate upon details. We are a couple of genteel desperadoes,
aren’t we? Therefore, we’re in boiled shirts and dinner-jackets.
Good! But we are on a river-trip, and we don’t want to be recognised
by stray passers-by; therefore we wear overcoats and hats, and
mufflers across our mouths. Overcoats, hats and mufflers forward,
please?” He grabbed his own coat and began to struggle into it.
“Is that really necessary?” asked George plaintively.
“Not for you. You’re only a corpse. For us, yes. Ready, Nesbitt?
Then you creep very softly in by the door here, George, and take up
your former position. We will enter by the French windows, talking in
gruff voices in a foreign tongue, to match your beard and
decorations. We are, as a matter of fact, inhabitants of Jugo-
Chzechovina, and converse almost entirely in ‘z’s’ and ‘x’s.’ Let her
rip!”
George crept dutifully off, and Guy, pulling his soft hat well down
over his eyes, led the way down the passage. Mr. Doyle hovered
near his fiancée, who was keeping a superintendent’s eye upon all of
them. “Do you realise this means our furniture, old girl?” he grinned
at her.
“Furniture? Pat—what do you mean?”
“Why, isn’t this the chance of a life-time? I’ve got a scoop here,
backed by that bobby’s evidence, that’s going to be worth a whole
houseful of furniture, and a watering-can for the garden as well.
What else do you think I’ve been engineering it all for? Thzmx zp! as
they say in Jugo-Chzechovina.” He sped after his host, winding his
muffler across the lower part of his face as he went. Dora gazed
after him with a very different expression on her face from that
usually seen by the public.
When the two approached the French windows a moment later,
the noise was still in full swing, though now spasmodic and
conveying a somewhat dispirited effect; but they had hardly stamped
over the threshold and exchanged a few gruff “z’s” and “x’s” before it
ceased abruptly.
“Eel ehcoot, ler jongdarm, sxs zz,” grunted the shorter of the two
Jugo-Chzechovinians. “Oo eh ler zbodyx? Ahxha! Venneh soor,
Zorx! Soor ler mattoh-x, zzz.”
With stealthy movements and sibilant noises they spread a mat
beside George and rolled him on to it. Refusing to wait in the wings
this time, Cynthia and Dora appeared in the doorway to watch the
performance, the latter going so far as to lend a helping hand,
tapping about on the parquet flooring with her high heels; for, as she
very reasonably pointed out to her fellow-conspirators as they bent
over the corpse together: “Il faut absolument xsx avoir une vamp,
zzz?”
The inert George was then conveyed on his rug across the floor,
over the threshold into the garden (involving a four-inch drop on the
small of his back) and across the lawn to the river at the bottom.
There Mr. Doyle caused all four of them to jump energetically about,
so as to leave the choicest collection of footprints that any sleuth
could desire, after which they returned to the house.
From the cupboard in the library all this time had come a silence
even more eloquent than the former protestations.
“Anything else to be done?” asked Mr. Doyle, thoughtfully, when
they had returned again to the hall. He seemed to have taken charge
of affairs for the moment and Dora, observing the gleam in his eye,
had no difficulty in understanding why. She gave her fiancé the credit
of being an artist; he was, she knew, quite capable of arranging the
whole thing purely for art’s sake. But the vision of that elusive
furniture was a very powerful aid to art.
She was very ready to encourage him. “Clues!” she said,
wrinkling her forehead again. “We must have some more clues. But
what?”
“It’s a pity we’ve got to do things in such a hurry,” remarked Guy.
“This sort of affair wants properly thinking out. I don’t see how we’re
going to arrange a real set of interdependent clues, on the spur of
the moment.”
“Well, I can think of one at any rate,” said Mr. Doyle thirstily.
“Blood! When all’s said and done, there’s nothing like blood. The
river was all right, but blood is well known to be thicker. Some blood,
please, somebody!”
“No, I’m hanged if I will,” said George with decision, catching the
predatory gleam in his eye. “I’ve done my share.”
“But only in red ink, George,” Mr. Doyle pointed out wistfully. But
George, muttering about “this infernal beard,” was already on his
way upstairs and to the bathroom.
“I suppose you haven’t got a spot of blood to spare, have you?”
Mr. Doyle inquired politely of his host.
“Pat, I won’t have you after my husband’s blood,” Cynthia
interposed.
“Besides,” added her husband, “I gave away most of mine
yesterday. I’m afraid I’m almost bloodless at the moment.”
“And it’s practically useless trying to get any out of a stone, I
understand,” said Mr. Doyle thoughtfully. “How exceedingly awkward.
I shall have to furnish some myself. I take it that you have at any rate
a lethal weapon of some sort on the premises; a safety razor, for
instance. Lead me to the slaughter, then, please.”
“Don’t bleed to death, darling one, will you?” remarked Dora with
anxiety.
“Dora, you touch me,” said her fiancé with emotion. “This
solicitude is admirable. No, for your sake, my dearest, I will try very
hard not to bleed to death.”
“I was thinking of the furniture we’re going to get out of this,”
retorted his fiancée frankly. “We don’t want it wasted.”
Mr. Doyle moved with dignity upstairs.
Guy, following him, looked back over his shoulder. “I think you’d
better turn the library light out,” he said. “We don’t want any more
unwelcome visitors. And turn all the other lights out as well, will you,
Cynthia? I’ve been thinking that we may want an alibi later.”
Cynthia turned into the drawing-room to carry out this request;
Dora made her way out into the garden to enter the library once
more. She was an astute young woman, and she had recognised
that a light turned out by somebody entering the library from the
house instead of the garden might give the policeman material for
thought upon the wrong lines.
Guy’s chance reference to further visitors proved to be not wide
of the mark. As Dora was tap-tapping out into the garden again after
extinguishing the light, a form loomed up out of the darkness in front
of her.
“Hullo, Mrs. Nesbitt,” observed the form cheerfully. “Bit late to
call, I know, but I saw a light as I was passing (seems to be out now)
and it’s rather urgent, so I thought you wouldn’t mind. Oh, I—I beg
your pardon. I thought it was Mrs. Nesbitt.”
If Dora had been nonplussed it was only for a moment. In rather
less than a second and a half she had determined on her line of
action. Drawing the chiffon scarf she was wearing across the lower
part of her face, she clutched violently at the form’s arm. “Murder!”
she exclaimed tensely. “There’s been murder done in there. No—
don’t go in, you’ll only make matters worse. Go for the police—
quick!”
The form (a thick, short form it was) staggered back. “M-
Murder?” it echoed. “Good gracious, you don’t mean Mr. or Mrs.
Nesbitt?”
“No!” Dora replied impatiently. “They’re out of the way. They’ve
been got out of the way, if you must know. It’s nothing to do with
them. It’s the Crown Prince of—no, I daren’t tell you. My own life
hangs by a hair. Quick, I must go; I can’t keep them waiting any
longer. The police—run for the police!”
“Th-th-them?” repeated the now thoroughly agitated form. “Good
Heavens, do you mean the—the murderers?”
Dora laughed bitterly. “You can call them that, of course. They
call themselves executioners. It’s a matter of opinion, I suppose. But
I mustn’t stay a moment longer. If he caught us we shouldn’t be alive
another second!”
“Who is he?” gasped the form.
“The Man with the Broken Nose,” Dora replied in sardonic tones.
“You’ve never heard of him, I suppose? Oh, God, would that I hadn’t
either!” Her voice broke with considerable artistry. Dora was certainly
wasted in revue.
“But look here!” squeaked the form. “Who is—the Crown
Prince? Good gracious, but——”
Dora shook his arm with awful agitation. “Hush!” she whispered
tensely. “He’s coming. Run, man—run for your life! And for the
police, of course. Run!” With a final shake she broke away from him
and darted in the direction of the river.
The form stood for a hectic moment gazing after her. Then it too
lumbered away at a brisk jog-trot. It did not lumber in the direction of
the library.
Considerably pleased with herself, Dora returned to the house.
Only Cynthia and George (now beardless) were available, sitting, a
little uneasily, on the couch in the now darkened drawing-room. Guy
and Mr. Doyle were still about their bloody business.
“George, I’m surprised at you,” remarked Miss Howard
facetiously, when this state of affairs had been made known to her.
“Sitting there and holding hands with Cynthia in the dark. Why
haven’t you been up and busy, like me? Listen to what sister’s been
doing for the cause.” With no little zest Dora embarked upon an
account of her encounter with the form.
She was just finishing it when the other two conspirators
returned, Mr. Doyle complaining bitterly of weakness and requiring
his fiancée to support him on his feet. Shaking him off, that unfeeling
young woman promptly began to recite her adventure over again.
“But who on earth was it?” Cynthia wondered.
“Search me!” responded Miss Howard tersely. “I didn’t stop to
ask him his name and address. Anyhow, you see what I’ve done.
Provided a new and independent witness, and filled him up with just
the sort of tale we wanted—Crown Prince and executioners and
gangs and distressed damsel and all the rest of it. The Man with the
Broken Nose! Do you know, I’m rather proud of that title; I feel
there’s a good thriller behind that title, simply waiting to be written.
Oh, by the way, here’s a souvenir,” She tossed a handkerchief into
Cynthia’s lap. “I extracted it from his coat-sleeve in the intervals of
shaking same. I could have relieved him of his watch and chain if I’d
wanted too, and probably his collar and tie as well; he was far too
dithery to notice little details like that. Most useful knowledge I’ve
gained, if I ever take to crime in real earnest.”
Cynthia was examining the handkerchief by the light of a candle
which Guy had lit. “R.F. in one corner,” she announced. “Who on
earth is R. F., Guy?”
“Reginald Foster!” replied her husband promptly. “The biggest
bore in creation.” He began to shake again with unholy glee. “Have
you any blood left, Doyle?”
“Precious little, and I don’t mind telling you that I’m not parting
with it. There may be a few scrapings in the cup, though. Why?”
“Just an idea. Here, George; something you can do. On the hall-
table you’ll see a cup, bearing traces of blood. Wipe that
handkerchief round inside it, and then go and drop it on the river’s
brim—where we’ll hope that not even the Inspector from Scotland
Yard will mistake it for a primrose. Hurry, won’t you?”
George hurried.
“I think you’re being perfectly horrible, Guy,” said his wife. “Why
couldn’t you go on using red-ink, like civilised human beings?”
“Because red-ink when analysed does not respond to the tests
for human blood, wife.”
“But good gracious, you’re not expecting matters to get as far as
that, are you?”
“I was once a Boy Scout, Cynthia,” Mr. Doyle intervened, “and
my motto was ‘Be Prepared.’ It still is. Another of my mottoes,” he
added thoughtfully, “if I remember aright, was ‘Zing-a-zing, Bom
Bom!’ But don’t ask me what that means, because I never could
discover. It’s probably Jugo-Chzechovinian.”
“But what did you do with the blood?” Cynthia pursued.
“Oh, just sprinkled it about in convenient dollops, like the gentle
dew from Heaven, you know.”
“Well, goodness knows what’s going to come of all this,” Cynthia
sighed.
“I say,” remarked George, with the appearance of careful
thought, “wouldn’t it be a good idea to put your brother and sister off
now? Er—supposed to be coming on Tuesday, aren’t they? Yes,”
said George weightily, “if I were you I should put them off.”
“We’re certainly going to get into the most dreadful mess,” said
Cynthia, not, however, relieving George’s mind.
“Your library carpet’s got into that already,” said Mr. Doyle
consolingly.
“Enough of this chatty badinage!” Dora broke in. “Do you know
that Mr. Reginald Foster has gone galloping off for the police? He
won’t find him, because he won’t think of looking in your library
cupboard, but he’ll ring up the nearest station; and then things are
going to get busy. We’ve got to work out a plan of campaign.
Remember I’ve had it put on record that our host and hostess were
lured away from the house.”
“Well, there’s nothing to contradict that,” Guy agreed. “It’s lucky
we gave the maids the week-end off, just in case of emergencies.
Emergencies seem to be arising every minute. I’ve thought out a
plan. I’ll get George and you, Doyle, to help me push the car out of
the garage and a little way down the road, and then I’ll come driving
back, making as much noise as I can, and generally enact the
householder arriving home after a long ride. I surmise that those
strange sounds, which seem to have died away altogether, will then
break out with renewed force from the library, and I shall liberate our
prisoner. I will then deal with any other emergencies as they crop up.
It doesn’t matter about our stories coinciding, because your
household won’t have heard or know anything at all. So, after you’ve
helped me with the car, you three sneak home and go straight to
bed.”
“All except me,” murmured Mr. Doyle, “who will be summoned to
the telephone a few minutes after the prisoner has been liberated.
‘Knowing that such a distinguished journalist was in the vicinity, Mr.
Nesbitt, etc.’”
Guy grinned at him guiltily. “You’re not going to make a
newspaper story of it too, Doyle, surely?”
“You bet I am,” rejoined Mr. Doyle grimly. “And a houseful of
furniture too. My motives, let it be understood, are entirely
mercenary.”
“Well, good luck to them! Now then, here comes George; are we
all ready?”
“I say,” said Cynthia suddenly. “I wonder what’s happening to
poor Laura all this time? It’s nearly half-past eleven. Oughtn’t we to
do something about her? But I suppose we can’t!”
It was the first time anybody had given a thought to poor Laura
for almost an hour.
“By Jove, yes, Laura,” agreed her husband. “We must keep an
eye open for her. I hope she doesn’t bring that fellow gaol-bird of
hers back at an awkward moment. And what the deuce are we going
to do about him?”
Had Guy but known it, that question was already in process of
being answered for him at a spot some considerable distance away.
Chapter VI.
Adventures of a Pair of Handcuffs
When Mr. Priestley performed his masterly retreat from the
scene of his crime it was without any definite plan in his head
beyond reaching the waiting two-seater and reaching it very quickly.
Blundering through shrubberies and over flower-beds, his
speechless burden still in his arms, he made his way by a sort of
blind instinct to the hedge that bordered the road. Through it he
plunged manfully, heedless of the prickly twigs which scratched his
face and hands and the dangling legs of his companion (a fact of
which the companion herself was anything but heedless), and then
at last set his burden on her feet.
But even then there was no time to waste in useless
explanations or converse. Grabbing her handcuffed hand with a brief
grunt, Mr. Priestley, that suddenly transformed man of leisure, set off
at a round pace down the road. His companion, having no say in the
matter, and no breath to say it with had she had one, followed. They
reached the car and fell inside in a congested bundle.
The fact that it was Mr. Priestley’s left wrist which was tethered,
made things a little awkward. For them to sit decorously side by side
in the orthodox manner was out of the question, for the car’s gear-
levers were on the right.
“I’ll stand on the running-board,” Mr. Priestley panted, “till we’re
safely out of the way.” He scrambled nimbly over the side and did his
best to anchor himself against it.
Laura started the engine, backed the car out of the lane and set
off up the road. Getting into top gear, she drove steadily ahead at a
rapidly increasing pace, her face as grim and set as she imagined
that of an accessory to murder and professional thief should be. At
her side Mr. Priestley bounced unhappily up and down, clinging
desperately to the side of the car with his free hand and expecting
every moment to be jerked backwards into the road. That in such an
event his companion would be neatly extricated from the car to share
his fate afforded him no consolation. Fortunately he was far too
preoccupied for the moment in saving his own life at every twist or
jolt in the road to be in a fit state to think coherently about what had
happened since he last saw this car.
Laura, on the other hand, was thinking rapidly. Once the
confusion had subsided of that wild rush from the house and her
ignominious part in it, her brain had found itself free again to return
to business. It was now working overtime.
Two thoughts were foremost in Laura’s mind. One was that this
affair had turned into the most glorious rag that the mind of man (or
girl) could conceive, and that nothing must be done to spoil it by so
much as the set of a hair. The other was that Mr. Matthew Priestley
had acquitted himself really most surprisingly, almost incredibly well.
He had not only risen to the occasion and obligingly fired off the
revolver, he had not only turned the tables on that ridiculous
policeman and rescued the two of them from a situation which, if it
had been as real as he thought it, would have been a remarkably
ticklish one, he had not only proved himself in spite of circumstantial
evidence to the contrary to be a man of courage, determination,
decent feelings and resource, but (and perhaps this appealed to
Laura more than all the foregoing catalogue of Mr. Priestley’s
surprising virtues) his first thought from beginning to end had been
for her alone, and that even after she had led him to think her a
professional thief and therefore, according to the social code, of no
personal account whatever. Laura felt herself warming quite a lot
towards this normally mild little man with the heart of a bulldog.
But that did not go to say that she enjoyed being handcuffed to
him. She did not. Indeed, in the presence of those handcuffs, it was
difficult to see how this glorious rag was going to continue. Obviously
they must be removed, and as soon as possible; or else they would
have to go back and⸺
At this point Laura became aware that words were coming
towards her, jerkily, over the side of the car.
“N-not so f-fast!” came the words spasmodically. “I can’t—hold
on—m-much longer!”
Laura glanced at her speedometer; the needle was hovering
between forty and fifty. She hastened to pull up at the side of the
road.
“I’m so sorry,” she said contritely, as Mr. Priestley sobbed for
breath and relief. Travelling outside the shelter of the windscreen at
fifty miles an hour does knock the breath out of one.
“’Sallright,” gasped Mr. Priestley, drooping like a wet blanket
over the side of the car. “But I thought—’f I fell out—you’d have to
come—too—oof!”
“Good gracious!” observed Laura, much impressed. “Do you
know, that simply never occurred to me.”
“No?” panted Mr. Priestley politely. “But it—would have done—
oof—’f I—had. Oh, oof!”
A minute or two was devoted to Mr. Priestley’s pursuit of his lost
breath.
“Well, Mr. Mullins,” Laura then remarked brightly, “now perhaps
you’ll tell me what is the next move?”
“To get rid of this infernal handcuff,” said Mr. Priestley without
hesitation.
“Yes, I’d thought of that too. But how?”
“File it off!” returned Mr. Priestley promptly. “Have you got a file
in your tool-box?”
“No, I don’t think so. In fact, I’m sure I haven’t. Oh, Mr. Mullins,
this is a terrible business! What are we to do?” The look of appealing
helplessness that Laura turned on her fellow-adventurer was not
what might have been expected from a young woman who had just
been driving a car at nearly fifty miles an hour along an unlighted
road.
Fortunately Mr. Priestley was in no state to notice such
discrepancies. “Don’t you worry, my dear young lady,” he said
paternally. “You shall come to no harm. Now, let me see, is there any
other way we can arrange ourselves? I really think we should push
on a little farther before we see about getting hold of a file, and this
running-board is really a most uncomfortable way of travelling. How
can we manage?”
“Supposing you knelt in front of the seat with your back to the
engine?” suggested Laura. “We might be able to manage like that.”
“Humph,” replied Mr. Priestley, to whom the idea did not seem to
appeal. “No, Mrs. Spettigue, I think —by the way, I suppose you’re
not Mrs. Spettigue now?”
“I’m afraid not,” Laura confessed with much contrition.
“You’re not married at all?”
“No,” said Laura, hanging her head. One saw that she was now
overwhelmed with shame at the thought of her base deception.
“Then who are you?”
“I’m—I’m usually known as Chicago Kate,” Laura said in a very
small voice. “I’m supposed to be the cleverest woman thief in the
world,” she added with simple pride, brightening a little.
“Bless my soul!” said Mr. Priestley, gazing at her with renewed
interest. She looked very young for so notorious a person.
As he gazed Mr. Priestley felt a guilty thrill run through him.
Abandoned she might be, but indubitably she was charming; and he
was committed to a desperate adventure with her. His fate was
linked with hers, in fact, not only literally but metaphorically too. They
were joined together not only by a handcuff, but by the joint secret of
what Mr. Priestley even now could not bring himself to regard as
murder. Dash it all, he had never meant to kill the man! He would
never have dreamed of firing if he had even distantly suspected the
revolver of being loaded. Manslaughter, perhaps, and most
reprehensible; but certainly not murder.
It came to Mr. Priestley with a shock of surprise to find how
singularly lightly this man’s death sat upon his conscience at that
moment. Probably reaction would come later and he would be
properly horrified, but just at the moment his mind was far busier with
other matters.
“Well,” he resumed briskly, “what I propose is that we push on a
little farther, and then set about borrowing a file. Of course we must
take obvious precautions. We must not stop at a place which is likely
to be on the telephone, and as we shall appear to be—h’m!—holding
hands, I think we should have some story prepared to account for
any awkward questions.”
“Oh, Mr. Mullins,” exclaimed his companion delightedly, “it’s a
positive pleasure to crack a crib with you. You think of everything.”
Mr. Priestley, who was also of the opinion that his strategy was
not too short-sighted, blushed modestly. It was on the tip of his
tongue to reveal the fact that he was not Mr. Mullins at all, but a
private citizen of hitherto unblemished reputation, but foreseeing
embarrassing queries as to the exact identity of the hitherto
blameless citizen, he chose the path of prudence. Mr. Priestley had
always been jealous of his good name, and it looked as if he would
need in the near future all the jealousy he could muster.
“And you don’t look like a burglar a bit,” continued the girl
warmly. “No wonder they call you Gentleman Joe. I must get you to
tell me some time about that time when you stole the Countess of
Kentisbeare’s diamonds, disguised as a dumb waiter, and knocked
out two policeman and the butler. Ah, yes, you see I know all about
you. These things get round the underworld. By the way, do you
work on cocaine or morphia? Personally I always use strychnine; a
little strychnine in half a tumbler of soda makes me feel capable of
anything. That’s how I escaped from Sing-sing, as you’ve probably
heard.”
“Erh’rrrrrm!” coughed Mr. Priestley, somewhat uneasy at the
technical turn of the conversation; he did not feel yet quite up to a
professional chat with this nefarious young woman. “Yes, yes, of
course. Now what about moving on? How are we going to dispose
ourselves?”
“Well, if you don’t want to kneel on the floor,” said the nefarious
young woman regretfully, “I’m very much afraid you’ll have to stay
where you are. I’ve been thinking, and I really can’t see any other
way.”
“Oh!” said Mr. Priestley, without joy. He brightened as an idea
occurred to him—a wicked idea, quite in keeping with all his other
devilry. He spoke in an exceedingly airy way. “How would it do,” said
Mr. Priestley very airily, “if I sat where you’re sitting, and you sat—er
—on my knee?”
“I’d love to sit on your knee, Mr. Mullins,” said the young woman
frankly. “It would be great fun. But unfortunately I couldn’t drive the
car at the same time, you see; I couldn’t reach either the pedals or