ASSERTION

ASSERTIO
ASSERTION:
a confident and
forceful statement of
fact or belief.
ASSERTION:
the action of stating
something or exercising
authority confidently
and forcefully.
ASSERTION:
is an allegation or
proclamation of something
often as the result of
opinion as opposed to fact.
WHY DO
PEOPLE
AVOID
Most people are not
assertive for fear of
upsetting others and of not
being liked.
Another reason people avoid
being assertive is because
they are not sure how!
Assertiveness, like any skill,
needs to be learned and
practiced.
In a nutshell,
assertiveness is:
1. An expression of who
you are, it communicates
your values,
2. Honest,
3. Respectful of others’
rights and boundaries,
4. Learned,
5. Communication – both
verbal and nonverbal
(posture, eye contact, tone
of voice, gestures).
FIVE TYPES
OF
ASSERTIVEN
1. Basic assertion is a simple
expression of your personal
rights, beliefs, feelings, or
opinions. Let’s look at a
reasonably frequent
example in peoples’ lives –
being interrupted. If you are
interrupted, you might say
to the person “Excuse me, I’d
like to finish what I’m
saying.” Often, the other
person will be unaware that
they have interrupted or
spoken over you, and this
simple technique allows
you to express your need
simply and firmly.
“I wish I could have
expressed this idea earlier,
because now someone else
has taken the credit.”
“Excuse me, first I want to
finish my work, then I shall
go with you.”
2. Empathic Assertion
This is the acknowledgement
of another person’s
situation or feelings
followed by a statement
standing up for your rights.
A person is less likely to
become angry or defensive if
you acknowledge and
validate the emotion
behind what they are
saying.
It conveys sympathy to
someone, and usually has
two parts: the first
encompasses recognition of
the feelings or situations
of the other person, and the
second is a statement that
shows support for the other
person’s viewpoint, feelings,
or rights such as:
“I know you are feeling angry
and frustrated while you wait
for a response [this is the
acknowledgement], I
completely get why you
would feel like that [this is
the validation]. But, the best I
can do is to give you a
ballpark estimate of how
long it will take.”
“I understand you are busy,
and me too, but it is difficult
for me to finish this
project on my own. So, I
want you to help me
complete this project.”
“I know this is making you angry
and frustrated because you have
not gotten a response yet,
but I can help you by
giving an estimate of
how long it might take.”
3. Escalating Assertion
This is where you begin
with an assertive
response, however the
other person (for
whatever reason) fails to
respond. You would then
gradually escalate the
assertion. That is, you
would become
increasingly firm
without being aggressive.
So turning back to the first
example, if the person
continues to interrupt
you, you might say “I
know that what you
have to say is important,
but I really want to finish what I
was saying.”
“If you do not finish this work by
6:00 tonight, I will seek the
services of another worker.”
“I really want to finish this point

before you start yours.”
4. I-Language Assertion
This type of assertion is
very effective during
conflict, and it is a
technique which is
good for couples to help
them manage conflict more
effectively. It is made up
of a number of very
specific statements:
Description of behaviour:
“When you … ,”
How it affects you life:
“It affects … ,”
Describe your feelings:
“and I feel …;”
Describe your desire:
“Therefore, I would like …”
Let’s put all of that together
in an example. Imagine a
couple having an
argument.
Katie notices that Paul is starting
to raise his voice and she is
getting uncomfortable and a
little scared. Katie
might say something life
this – “When you raise
your voice (the effect is)
I start to shut down because I
feel scared. Therefore, I would
like you to use a softer
tone of voice to tell me
what you want.”
5. Positive Assertion
For a lot of people, this final type
of assertiveness can be the most
difficult. It is about
expressing positive
feelings about yourself or
someone else. Most people can
feel uncomfortable ‘blowing
their own trumpet’, but is has a
wonderful impact on your
self-esteem and is an
important skill to master.
Imagine a dad reviewing his day
with his partner – “I know I’ve
had some difficulty with
disciplining in the past,
but I did a really good job
today.” Or someone
talking to their boss – “I really
feel I managed that complaint
well.”
Or a parent talking to
their child – “Wow that
was a really big feeling
you had. It can be scary when
you have big feelings like that
can’t it? I am so proud of how
you managed that right.
now.”
The function of assertion is to
let readers to feel that they
should not disagree or dispute
what they read or hear;
rather, they should
accept the idea or notion
as an indisputable fact.

ASSERTION

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ASSERTIO

“I really want to finish this point

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