Reflection & Empathy

Reflection & Empathy
The two sides of effective oral communication
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INTRODUCTION
Conversation is an informal talk in which people exchange views, feelings and

thoughts. Conversation in general is spontaneous, friendly and casual.
In oral communication, the most important skill is to demonstrate a genuine interest

in the other person.
Both participants should be able to pick up cues and reflect upon their meaning.
cont…
However good you think your listening skills are, the
only person who can tell you if you have understood
correctly or not is the speaker. Therefore, as an
extension of good listening skills, you need to develop
the ability to reflect words and feelings and to clarify
that you have understood them correctly.
It is often important that you and the speaker agree
that what you understand is a true representation of
what was meant to be said.
Reflection
Reflecting is the process of paraphrasing and restating both
the feelings and words of the speaker.
The purposes of reflecting are:

To allow the speaker to 'hear' their own thoughts and to focus on what
they say and feel.
To show the speaker that you are trying to perceive the world as they
see it and that you are doing your best to understand their messages.
To encourage them to continue talking.
Cont…
Reflecting does not involve you asking questions,

introducing a new topic or leading the
conversation in another direction. Speakers are
helped through reflecting as it not only allows
them to feel understood, but it also gives them
the opportunity to focus their ideas. This in turn
helps them to direct their thoughts and further
encourages them to continue speaking.
Techniques of Reflecting
There are two techniques of reflecting :
1) Mirroring
2) Paraphrasing
Mirroring
Mirroring a conversation partner’s gestures,
expressions, posture, vocal pitch or tone can
reflect rapport or a desire to please, research
shows. It is seen most often between romantic
partners, but it happens at work, too, in
networking sessions, meetings and
conversations with colleagues.
Cont…
It is a common experience: You’re deep in
conversation with someone and suddenly realize
you’re both holding the same pose, leaning forward
and propping an elbow on the table. Or you notice
you’re suddenly starting to pick up the other person’s
Southern accent or fast, loud speech. mirroring can
help you create powerful connections with others.
This behavior, often called “the chameleon effect,”
often causes others to like and trust you more.
Professional networkers, negotiators and salespeople
say they use mirroring to help them engage more
deeply in a conversation and understand the person
they’re talking with.
Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing involves using other words to reflect what the

speaker has said. Paraphrasing shows not only that you are
listening, but that you are attempting to understand what the
speaker is saying.
It is often the case that people 'hear what they expect to hear'
due to assumptions, stereotyping or prejudices.
Cont…
When paraphrasing, it is of utmost importance that

you do not introduce your own ideas or question
the speakers thoughts, feelings or actions. Your
responses should be non-directive and non-
judgmental.
It is very difficult to resist the temptation to ask
questions and when this technique is first used,
reflecting can seem very stilted and unnatural. You
need to practice this skill in order to feel
comfortable.
Reflecting Content, Feeling and Meaning
o The most immediate part of a speaker's
message is the content, in other words those
aspects dealing with information, actions,
events and experience, as verbalized by them.
o Reflecting content helps to give focus to the
situation but, at the same time, it is also
essential to reflect
-the feelings and emotions expressed in order
to more fully understand the message.
Cont…
Reflecting needs to combine content and feeling to truly

reflect the meaning of what the speaker has said.
For example:
Speaker:
“I just don't understand my boss. One minute he says
one thing and the next minute he says the opposite.”
Listener:
“You feel very confused by him?”
Cont…
Reflecting meaning allows the listener to

reflect the speaker's experiences and
emotional response to those experiences.
It links the content and feeling components
of what the speaker has said.
Empathy
Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings
and emotions of other people. It is a key element
of emotional intelligence, the link between self and
others, because it is how we as individuals understand
what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it
ourselves.
Empathy goes far beyond sympathy, which might be

considered ‘feeling for’ someone. Empathy, instead, is
‘feeling with’ that person, through the use of
imagination.
Definitions of Empathy
"[Empathy is] awareness of others’ feelings, needs and concerns."
Daniel Goleman
"I call him religious who understands the suffering of others.“

Mahatma Gandhi
"Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on, intellectually."
Tim Minchin
Importance of empathy
Elements of Empathy
Daniel Goleman identified five key elements of empathy :
i. Understanding Others
ii. Developing Others
iii. Having a Service Orientation
iv. Leveraging Diversity
v. Political Awareness
Types of Empathy
Psychologists have identified three types of

empathy:
• Cognitive empathy,
• Emotional empathy
• Compassionate empathy.
Cont…
1. Cognitive empathy is understanding

someone’s thoughts and emotions, in a very
rational, rather than emotional sense.
2. Emotional empathy is also known as
emotional contagion, and is ‘catching’
someone else’s feelings, so that you literally
feel them too.
3. Compassionate empathy is understanding
someone’s feelings, and taking appropriate
action to help.
THANK YOU

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Reflection & Empathy

The two sides of effective oral communication

Conversation is an informal talk in which people exchange views, feelings and

In oral communication, the most important skill is to demonstrate a genuine interest

The purposes of reflecting are:

Reflecting does not involve you asking questions,

There are two techniques of reflecting :

Paraphrasing involves using other words to reflect what the

When paraphrasing, it is of utmost importance that

Reflecting needs to combine content and feeling to truly

Reflecting meaning allows the listener to

Empathy goes far beyond sympathy, which might be

"I call him religious who understands the suffering of others.“

Psychologists have identified three types of

1. Cognitive empathy is understanding

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