Lecture 5 - The Interpersonal Self

PSYC2006
Interpersonal Dynamics
The Interpersonal Self
Overview
• Activity - Who are you?
• Self Concept &
• How the self develops (Biological and Social)
• Characteristics of Self Concept
• Self Esteem
• Sources of Self Esteem
• Self Esteem & Communication Behaviour
• Effects of Low and High Self Esteem
• Changing Your Self-Concept & Raising Your Self-esteem
• Reasons for resisting personal growth
• Self fulfilling Prophesy
• Identity Management
Learning Objectives
• Describe the relationship between self, self-
concept and self-esteem
• Distinguish between the psychological/
biological and the social view of the self
• Identify how individuals can change their self
concept
• Demonstrate how individuals can practice
identity management by engaging self-
monitoring techniques
In order to get at any
truth about myself, I
must have contact
with another person.
The other is
indispensable to my
own existence, as well
as to my knowledge
about myself.
Jean-Paul Sartre
Activity # 6 –
Who Are You? (Source: Adler & Proctor II, pg. 41)
1. Take a moment to make list that defines

“you”. (Your list may contain as many
characteristics as possible )
Useful categories to help (examples)
• Your moods or feelings (excited, angry)
• Your social traits (friendly, shy)
• Talents you have or not have
• Your social roles (parent, teacher)
• Your intellectual capacity
• Your strong beliefs
• Your physical condition (overweight, healthy)
Activity # 6 –
Who Are You?
(Source: Adler & Proctor II, pg. 41)
2. Shorten your list by picking out 10 characteristics that you think

describe you most fundamentally.
3. Rank order those 10 characteristics by placing “1” next to the item
that defines you most … and “10” for the least.
4. Take a moment and mentally picture yourself, based on the list
you have just created.
5. Keeping the picture in mind, begin to eliminate the characteristics
from your list, one by one, starting at No. 10, until all of them have
been eliminated.
6. Now gradually begin to add the characteristics again
“that’s who I am”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh2qTnHdaH0
General Questions
• How easy or difficult was it to abandon or
give up each characteristic?
• Which characteristic(s) was the hardest to

give up?
• What were the specific thoughts you had

as you were asked to give up the most
central characteristics about yourself?
Questions for Introspection
• What did you learn about yourself/your self
concept from this activity?
• If you were to change your self concept, in
what ways would you do so?
Self Concept
• Self concept – may be described as the

cognitive (thinking) aspect of the self.
• It contains all the ideas, thoughts,

information and relatively stable set of
perceptions we hold about the self.
(Horowitz, 1995, Adler, 1999)
Self Concept
Knowing who we are is essential as without a

self concept, we cannot relate to the world
Some of the basic ideas we hold about

ourselves that facilitates our interpersonal
interaction include:
◦ Personal attributes
◦ Organizing attributes : self schemas
◦ Memory
◦ Possible Selves
How The Self-Concept Develops
Biological & Social Roots
How did you become the kind of

communicator you are?
•Nature vs Nurture theory

– Where you born that way?
– Are you a product of your environment?

Biological View
• Biology also accounts for as much as half of
some communication-related personality traits
– Including extraversion; shyness; assertiveness; verbal
aggression; and willingness to communicate
• Personality defined as:

– Characteristic ways that you think and behave across a variety of
situation. It is part of our genetic make-up
• Personality tends to be stable throughout your

life and it grows more pronounced over time
Social View
• To understand how important others are in shaping
our self concept, consider the following questions:
• How would you measure your attractiveness?
• How would you evaluate how smart you are?
• How would you decide if you are tall, kind, fat, or

mean?
Social View
• Charles Cooley used the metaphor or a mirror
to identity the process of reflected
appraisal
• Social Comparison theory (Festinger, 1954)
involves evaluating ourselves in terms of how
we compare to others.
I am not black you are not white
•https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0qD2
K2RWkc
Characteristics of the Self Concept
The self concept is Subjective
Subjectivity may lead to a
distorted self evaluation.
Distortion may arise from
– Obsolete information
– Distorted feedback
– Perfection
Characteristics of the Self Concept
• Resists change –
There is a tendency to
cling to an existing self
concept, even when
the evidence shows
that it is obsolete.
– Cognitive Conservatism
– Self Delusion
Self-Esteem
• The self also has an affective or emotional
component that consists of the negative
and positive evaluations we hold of
ourselves.
Sources of
Self-Esteem
There are two sources that feed into our self
esteem:
• Internal sources - internal standards and self
guide
• External sources derive mainly from interactions

with others – including those from childhood
experiences with parents; other adults.
Sources of
Self-Esteem
Actual & Ideal Self
•Esteem is also affected by the match between
the “actual” self and the “ideal” self:
•High Self Esteem
– Actual Self = Ideal Self
•Low Self Esteem

– Actual Self < Ideal Self
Self Esteem & Communication
Behaviour
Effects of Low & High
Self Esteem
Low self Esteem High Self Esteem
•Greater persistence in the •Greater persistence in the
face of failure face of failure
•Likely to think well of others •Likely to think well of others
•Work harder for people who •Work harder for people who
demand high performance demand high performance
standards standards
Changing Your Self-Concept
& Raising Your Self-esteem
• Have Realistic Expectations
• Have Realistic Perception of Self
• Have the Will to Change
• Have the Skill to Change

Reasons for Resisting Personal Growth
Fear of Maturity
Fear of Success:
Fear of Knowledge:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW-VMfY9q0k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwKBxabn4QY
Self Fulfilling Prophecy
• This occurs when a person’s
expectations of an event make the
event more likely to occur than would
otherwise have been true.
• Your prediction is transformed

into a fact, which then becomes
the reality.
• Self fulfilling prophecy can be:

a. Self imposed
b. Other imposed
IDENTITY MANAGEMENT
• The communication strategies individuals
use to influence how others view them.
IDENTITY MANAGEMENT
• Identity management involves making
striking contradictions between the public
personal and the private self.
– Perceived self – Reflects the self concept. It is

the “private self”
– Presenting self – the public image; the way we

want others to view us.
Characteristics of Identity
Management
• Multiple identities
• Collaborative
• Deliberate or
unconscious
Characteristics of Identity Management
• Why do we manage identities?
– To start and manage relationships
– To gain compliance of others
– Save others’ face
– Explore new selves
• How do we mange identities?
– Manner (words and non-verbal action)
– Appearance (personal items e.g. dress)
– Setting (physical items)
• Identity Management & Honesty

– Debating which “front” to present in one situation or another
Characteristics of Identity Management
Online impression management
What is missing in online communication can be an
advantage
•Gives us more control over managing impressions
•Allows strangers to change age, etc.
Viewing online presence as neutral third party can be

valuable exercise
•Reputation management
Self Monitoring
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVJc5RSr8Uw
Self Monitoring
• It is the ability and desire to regulate one’s
public expressiveness to fit the clues
and/or requirements of the situation.
Self Monitoring
Self-monitoring involves three major and

somewhat distinct tendencies (Greenberg & Baron, 1990
pp 204-206)
• The willingness to be the center of attention – a

tendency to behave in outgoing, extraverted
ways;
• Sensitive to the reactions of others;
• Ability and willingness to adjust behaviour to

induce positive reactions in others
Self Monitoring
Individuals high in self-monitoring:
• Handle social situations smoothly
– Generally good people readers and can create the identity they
want – acting interested when bored or friendly when they feel the
opposite
• Analytical nature blocks experience

• Portion of their attention will always be viewing the
situation from a detached position
• Difficult to tell how they are really feeling
Self Monitoring
Individuals low in self-monitoring:
• Maintain a more simple and focused idea their

identity - who they are; what they want to be
– Likely to have narrower repertoire of behaviours thus tend to
behave in more or less the same way regardless of the situation
– Tend to display their true disposition and attitudes in every

situation
• Actions usually reflect their inner feelings and

attitudes.
Culture and Identity
Self shaped by culture in which we have
been reared
•Individualistic culture (Strong I orientation)
•Collectivistic culture (Maintaining harmony)
• Co-cultural identity
Sex, Gender and Identity
•Being male or female shapes way others

communicate with us and thus our sense of
self
•Self-esteem is influenced by gender
•Sense of self shaped strongly by people
with whom we interact and contexts in which
we communicate
End of Lecture

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PSYC2006

1. Take a moment to make list that defines

2. Shorten your list by picking out 10 characteristics that you think

• Which characteristic(s) was the hardest to

• What were the specific thoughts you had

• Self concept – may be described as the

• It contains all the ideas, thoughts,

Knowing who we are is essential as without a

Some of the basic ideas we hold about

How did you become the kind of

•Nature vs Nurture theory

– Are you a product of your environment?

• Personality defined as:

• Personality tends to be stable throughout your

• How would you measure your attractiveness?

• How would you evaluate how smart you are?

• How would you decide if you are tall, kind, fat, or

• External sources derive mainly from interactions

•Low Self Esteem

•Likely to think well of others •Likely to think well of others

• Have Realistic Perception of Self

• Have the Will to Change

• Have the Skill to Change

• Your prediction is transformed

• Self fulfilling prophecy can be:

– Perceived self – Reflects the self concept. It is

– Presenting self – the public image; the way we

• Identity Management & Honesty

Viewing online presence as neutral third party can be

Self-monitoring involves three major and

• The willingness to be the center of attention – a

• Sensitive to the reactions of others;

• Ability and willingness to adjust behaviour to

• Analytical nature blocks experience

• Maintain a more simple and focused idea their

– Tend to display their true disposition and attitudes in every

• Actions usually reflect their inner feelings and

•Being male or female shapes way others

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