Dear Abby: Pothead wife contributes nothing to our relationship

Woman smoking.

She is the definition of a layabout. (Getty Images)

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my current wife for 12 years after a terrible divorce. She is very kind. The problem is, I work 40 to 50 hours a week, do all the cooking, grocery shopping and about 90% of the cleaning. I have spoken several times to her about helping more around the house since she doesn’t work.

My wife smokes pot every day, sleeps until 3 p.m. and doesn’t contribute anything beyond being nice to me. I come home to a trashed house and have to prepare dinner, clean up and get ready for work the next day. I may have PTSD from my first failed marriage. What can I do? I’m ready to give up and just take care of myself. -- DOESN’T WANT TO HURT ANYMORE

DEAR DOESN’T: You may not have PTSD. You DO have such low self-esteem that you’ve been willing to tolerate (for 12 years!) a marriage in which you do everything while your wife sleeps and spends her waking hours on cloud nine.

Tell this “kind” woman to sober up and help you. Give her a two-day deadline. If she doesn’t cooperate, consult an attorney. It may cost you money or some assets acquired during the marriage, but from your description of what has been going on for so long, it will be worth it.

P.S. Once she is gone, stay single for a few years.

Abigail  Van Buren

Stories by Abigail Van Buren

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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