DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I received a substantial cash gift from my parents to celebrate our elopement. They delivered the gift while visiting our home about a month ago (we live in different states).
Typically, when I receive a gift or stay in someone’s home, I mail a thank-you note the next day so I don’t forget.
In this case, I truly cannot recall if I sent one or not. These are my parents, not mere acquaintances. Is it acceptable to ask them if they already received a note from us? Or is it better just to send one now, possibly acknowledging that it might be a duplicate?
GENTLE READER: The problem is your checklist. Not that you forgot to mark it, but that you think of it as a set exchange: one present, one letter of thanks.
“In case I didn’t thank you -- thanks” is not a sentiment that can be charmingly worded.
What Miss Manners suggests instead is some version of, “Liam and I know how lucky we are to have your support -- not only for your very generous present, but also for your emotional support and your fine example.”
And so on. They are not going to read such a letter and then say, “But she already thanked us.”
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
COPYRIGHT 2023 JUDITH MARTIN
DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106; 816-581-7500
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