Act 1: A garret
Marcello: I'm a useless painter, / Taking myself much too seriously.
Rodolfo: And I'm a moody writer, / Hoping to be discovered.
Marcello: It's tragic no one has recognised / The nature of our genius. / I cannot see for the life of me / Why my painting of the Red Sea / Isn't on sale at WHSmith.
Rodolfo: I fear I shall die / Without my Mummy / To tell me how clever I am.
Marcello: But at least we have each other. / We can live in a delusional state, / Pretending to be artists / And that Paris thinks we're great.
Rodolfo: It's parky in here / And we've got no coal, / So as my play is no good / We'll use it as wood.
Colline: I'm another bohemian / Pretending to be deep. / The more I try to think / The more I seem to drink.
Schaunard: Would you believe it? / I've found someone tone-deaf / Who is paying me to sing.
Rodolfo: Though not very much / As you don't have / A very big part.
Schaunard: But big enough to pay the rent / And get a bit pissed.
Benoit: I am the comedy landlord / Who is easily fooled / by this bunch of half-wits / Into not collecting the rent.
Schaunard: Now we've fooled the comedy landlord / Let's go to Cafe Momus.
Rodolfo: You go on ahead without me / For there will soon be a knocking at the door / And I will get to do my famous love duet ... (Knocking) Aha! My love interest is here.
Mimi: I am but a humble flowerseller ...
Rodolfo: How bizarre. / But I guess you have to work.
Mimi: And what is it you do?
Rodolfo: I write poetry that no one ever reads / And then I burn it.
Mimi: How talented you are!
Rodolfo: And how cold your tiny hand is!
Mimi: That's a crap pick-up line, / But I guess it will do.
Rodolfo/Mimi: Heavens above, / We must be in love!
Act 2: The Latin quarter
Urchins: Tra-la-la, tra-la-lee / We're just here to set the scene.
Street vendors: Tra-la-la, tra-la-lee / That's odd, so are we.
Rodolfo: Here we all are / At the Cafe Momus / Being thrillingly bohemian / And getting a bit drunk / With babes at our sides.
Mimi: I got you too, babe.
Rodolfo: But why so glum, Marcello?
Marcello: There is my ex, Musetta / Arm-in-arm with her new lover, / Alcindoro. / How I miss her!
Musetta: There are all my old friends, / Sitting in the corner, / Being so bohemian, / And giving me the cold shoulder.
Alcindoro: Don't treat me like a fool / Just because I drool.
Musetta: How I long to get Marcello back! / I've had enough of Alcindoro / I must come up with a cunning plan / To get rid of my dreary man.
Alcindoro: You are my lady, /And I don't mean maybe.
Musetta: My shoes don't feel right / They seem much too tight / Run along and find me a new pair.
Alcindoro: That sounds a bit queer / But of course, my dear.
Mimi & Rodolfo: Although we sang shang-a-lang / And ran with the gang / We were actually a bit different / From the others / Because we are a bit deeper / And more sincere.
Musetta: Now I've got rid of that fool, / I'm back with my cool / Marcello.
Marcello: My eye-candy is back. / I must be in luck.
Schaunard: Oh whoops, I feel ill. / I can't pay the bill.
Musetta: All will be fab! / Alcindoro will pick up the tab!
Alcindoro: I've been taken for a chum / I'm down in the dumps.
Act 3: The toll-gate
Mimi: I'm feeling rough. / I've got a cough.
Marcello: Is that you, Mimi? / What brings you to me?
Mimi: I have lost Rodolfo / He seems to have gone off me.
Marcello: Don't talk so loud / He's asleep inside.
Rodolfo: You spoke too soon, / Just hear me croon!
Mimi: Even though I've walked all this way / To try and find him, / Now that he's awake / I feel a sudden urge to hide.
Rodolfo: Oh woe is me, Marcello / Although I adore Mimi / I've had to pretend to leave her, / Because she's got this terrible cough / And we can't afford a doctor...
Marcello: Did it not occur to you to get a proper job / Rather than writing crap poems / That no one wants? / Because then / You might have been able / To pay for a quack...
Rodolfo: Don't be so silly / A true bohemian poet / Would much prefer his girlfriend to die of TB / Than compromise his integrity. / So I'm hoping Mimi will find some posh bloke / Who will buy her a doc!
Mimi: I can't hide any longer. / How happy I am to hear / That you still love me, / And I would rather croak than be apart.
Rodolfo: I know how you feel / Very well / Let's stay together through the winter, / And then in the spring / You can find a rich lord / To take care of you, / Even though / You are definitely going to die soon / Whether you like it / Or not.
Marcello: How sweet she is / Unlike my bird, Musetta.
Musetta: It's time for a row / To show how shallow we are / In comparison to Rodolfo and Mimi. / And believe me / That will take some doing.
Act 4: The garret
Marcello: I am feeling very sad / Because Musetta has gone bad / And left me.
Rodolfo: I know what you mean / Mimi left the scene / In the spring / To shack up with a viscount / Whom she didn't really love / And I'd quite like her to come back.
Colline & Schaunard: We'd quite like a decent meal / Seeing as none of us / Has done a proper day's work / In our lives.
Musetta: Fancy that / I've come right back / To tell you / Mimi has left her viscount, / And I found her wandering the streets / So I've brought her back to you losers...
Mimi: That will almost certainly / Finish me off. / But that is the lot / Of the tragic operatic heroine.
Rodolfo: Oh how beautiful you are / I've always loved you / Etc, etc.
Mimi: I'm not at all well, / I need to sit down.
Musetta: I suppose I had / Better flog my earrings / To pay for a quack.
Colline: I'm going out / To sell my hideous Afghan coat, / But not before / I've sung for a long time / About it.
Rodolfo: It might have been an idea / To have thought about that / A bit sooner...
Mimi: Never mind / At least we've got at least another 20 minutes / Of ravishing music together / In which we can say how much / We love each other / Over and over again, / While remembering how happy / We once were.
Rodolfo: How true! How True! / I love you.
Marcello/Musetta/Shaunard/Colline: We're back / With a quack! / And some medicine / Everything's going to be fine.
Mimi: I feel so much better! / I'm alive! / Oh whoops, / I spoke too soon. / I'm dead!
Rodolfo: She's dead. / It's all terrible. / If only I'd had a proper job /From the start.