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The Guardian - Back to homeThe Guardian

Philippa Perry

Every week Philippa Perry addresses a personal problem sent in by a reader. If you would like advice from Philippa, please send your problem to askphilippa@guardian.co.uk. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions

August 2024

  • Back view of woman teacher, with hands on hips, a blurred view of desks and students in the background

    Ask Philippa
    Jobs make me feel trapped so I never stay. Am I just lazy?

    It sounds like you are dissociating, which is a trauma response. Find a therapist to work through this issue so you can break the cycle
  • Fruit and veg piled high in a shop with a sign on the wall saying "Buy local and support small".

    Ask Philippa
    My sister buys posh food, but most of it ends up in the bin

    It sounds like this is really about sibling rivalry, says Philippa Perry. Turn inwards and ask yourself what is motivating your thinking towards your sister
  • Man on bench

    Ask Philippa
    My big brother used to beat me up. Now I’m scared of being loved

    Begin the process of forming a trusting relationship with a therapist, says Philippa Perry, and create a ‘chosen family’ with friends who care about and respect you

July 2024

  • Australian mother of two young children in her family home participating in domestic life activities<br>Posed by models Single Mother with her daughter and son at home playing, working and involved in domestic duties.

    Ask Philippa
    I’m angry that my mum was always so absent. How can I find peace?

  • Couple walking holding hands at sunset

    Ask Philippa
    I’m in my 50s, deeply in love for the first time – and terrified

  • Charlie xcx in hot pants and a T-shirt reading I heart Me

    Weekend
    Is this the Brat girl summer? Marina Hyde predicts a sticky end for Trump-Vance, how to be a Norwegian parent, and Ask Philippa on sibling rivalry – podcast

  • man and woman with kids in fallen leaves

    Ask Philippa
    My brother’s mental illness hovers over my family life

  • Weekend
    Marina Hyde’s career advice for Joe Biden, the world’s smallest stuntman, Philippa Perry on ‘failure’, and could you forgive your childhood bully? – podcast

  • Ask Philippa
    I’m a failure and in debt. And now my partner is pregnant

June 2024

  • Keir Stamer talking

    Ask Philippa
    My in-laws think Keir Starmer is ‘an idiot’. Should I pick a fight?

  • Illustration showing good and bad mood on a woman by representing it with thunderstorm or sun above her

    Ask Philippa
    Why am I so angry when I’m with my mother?

  • Prince William, King Charles, Queen Camilla and Prime Minister Rishi Sunak with his wife Akshata Murty applaud at a D-Day event in Portsmouth

    Weekend
    Marina Hyde on Sunak and class, my parachute failed at at 4,000ft, my gaming-addicted son, and a new approach to quitting smoking – podcast

  • Teenage,Boy,In,A,Bedroom,Listening,To,Music,Through,His<br>Teenage boy in a bedroom listening to music through his smartphone; Shutterstock ID 1090254734; purchase_order: -; job: -; client: -; other: -

    Ask Philippa
    My grownup son is gaming all day and lives on takeaways

  • Weekend
    Azeem Rafiq talks racism, cricket, and leaving Britain; Philippa Perry offers advice on a painful crush; why Rory Stewart quit politics; and the big British bamboo crisis – podcast

  • Ask Philippa
    Why do I keep falling in love with totally unavailable people?

  • Weekend
    A Guardian Blind Date happy ending, the boy who fled the Nazis, and Philippa Perry’s advice on an alcoholic father – podcast

  • Ask Philippa
    I don’t want to invite my alcoholic dad to my wedding

May 2024

  • The,Journey,Of,A,Thousand,Miles,Begins,With,A,Single<br>The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step quote and girl going far away by dirty country road; Shutterstock ID 375538585; purchase_order: -; job: -; client: -; other: -

    Ask Philippa
    I have a dream job and family, but I really want to write novels

    Get up very early in the morning and just write. You will make mistakes but learn from them. Don’t be in a hurry and keep taking small steps
  • Couple holding piles of laundry

    Ask Philippa
    My husband finds life easy, and ‘corrects’ me because I don’t

    Your brain is wired to need order to feel safe, he should respect that
  • Woman on the Morning Walk in the Nature Playing with Young Kooikerhondje Dog Throwing him a Ball

    Ask Philippa
    I’m worried my new partner won’t love who I really am

    Try to steer your focus to what you want rather than what you think you should be
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