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ROD LIDDLE

Keir Starmer is a clown who’s changed his mind so many times we’ve lost count – is there anything he won’t flip flop on?

SIR Keir Starmer, The International Man of Mystery, has struck again.

Leaving us all utterly without a clue as to what he really thinks.

Keir Starmer, The International Man of Mystery, has struck again
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Keir Starmer, The International Man of Mystery, has struck againCredit: News Group Newspapers
The electorate will need to have trust that the leader has a clear vision for the country, not a clown who has changed his mind so many times that we've all lost count
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The electorate will need to have trust that the leader has a clear vision for the country, not a clown who has changed his mind so many times that we've all lost countCredit: Alamy

And what he would actually do if we were rash enough to make him Prime Minister.

This time it’s on a subject which has given him considerable trouble in the past. The transgender issue.

You might remember that, unlike the rest of us, Sir Keir, had real difficulty defining a woman.

He ummed and ahhed for years. And then finally he came out and said it. A woman is an “adult female”, he proclaimed.

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Yay, well done mate. Ring the church bells and shout hallelujah.

Only two years earlier he had been quite adamant. It was totally wrong to say only women possessed a cervix. Sheesh.

Let’s hope when he’s given up politics he doesn’t try out a career in gynaecology.

Now he’s changed his mind once again, on a similar, related, matter.

A while back, the cretinous Scottish Parliament tried to pass a Bill which would have made it legal for 16-year-olds to change gender without a medical diagnosis.

I wouldn’t trust a 16-year-old to change the batteries in a TV remote, never mind to take a rational decision to lop off their old fellas and have breasts stapled on.

The British Government rightly put a stop to the Bill. But Sir Keir was all over the place. In December he’d said that Labour WOULD allow people to self-ID if his party won power.

But as Westminster moved on its veto in January, he was already expressing concern about 16-year-olds being given that right. In a further flip, he claimed last month that gender self-recognition was not the way forward.

But now, it would appear he’s changed his mind again, and decided that the Government was quite wrong to interfere in Holyrood’s law-making.

In fact, at an event in Scotland, he had a go at Westminster for blocking the law that would allow 16-year-olds to self-ID — the very plan he spoke out against.

For Sir Keir, the road to Damascus has had more roundabouts and slip roads than Spaghetti Junction.

And this is the problem. There is almost no issue on which Starmer has not changed his mind.

He will tell a different tale depending upon who he is speaking to.

Tell us all the truth

If he was asked what a woman was at a convention of the Association of British Cheesemakers, he’d probably say: “Um . . . I believe she is a nice, ripe Stilton. Or maybe a Wensleydale.”

OK, I don’t think the next election is going to be decided largely on the issue of what a woman is and how early children can have their bodies mutilated on the NHS.

Perhaps it should, because the post-rational woke agenda is causing enormous harm and anger in our country. In our schools, universities, corporations.

But it might well be decided upon the issue of trust. And that means the electorate will need to have trust that the leader has a clear and unequivocal vision for the country.

Not a clown who has changed his mind so many times that we’ve all lost count.

On women. On the Scottish Gender Recognition Bill. On Just Stop Oil protesters. On nationalisation of the railways, to name a few.

Starmer has done a good job with the Labour Party. It was unelectable two years ago. But now he needs to emerge from his shadow and tell us all the truth.

Not change his position seemingly every time he is asked a question.

Will the real Keir Starmer now reveal himself, please?

DON’T COUNT ON JOE

THAT senile old clown Joe Biden has just described the Grand Canyon as one of the “nine Wonders of the World”.

There are SEVEN Wonders of the World, you dipstick.

That senile old clown Joe Biden has just described the Grand Canyon as one of the 'nine Wonders of the World'
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That senile old clown Joe Biden has just described the Grand Canyon as one of the 'nine Wonders of the World'Credit: Alamy

He also forgot the name of the island of Maui, struck by wildfires.

He has been an utterly disastrous US President.

The main American cities are now full of dossers and muggers and shoplifters, after Joe’s “progressive” policies were introduced.

But he may well win again, because Donald Trump is still the favourite of the Republicans.

And every time he is dragged before the courts by the Democrats, his personal ratings soar.

But not enough, I suspect, to win the presidency.

It’s a clever and sinister game the Democrats are playing.


SPANISH para-cyclist Ricardo Ten Argiles won an important race in Glasgow.

What did they present him with as a prize?

A watch.

Problem is Ricardo hasn’t got forearms. He’s a double amputee.


TAXING TIMES

COUNCIL tax is now costing people an average of ONE TENTH of their income in parts of the UK.

The amount we pay our useless councils as a proportion of our earnings has more than doubled in the past 30 years.

Do you think they provide twice as good a service as they did back then?

I think they get worse with every year that passes.

I want to be free to get an Aztec

THERE’S a big row online between Brits and Americans – over the fizzy drink Fanta.

The recipes are different in each country and the argument is over whose is best.

Cresta drink with its 'It’s frothy, man' advert
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Cresta drink with its 'It’s frothy, man' advert
The Aztec chocolate bar
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The Aztec chocolate bar

The American version is a deep, urinous orange. Ours is yellow.

Personally, I don’t like either of them. They’re insipid. Tango is a bit better – at least it kind of tastes of something.

But best of all was Cresta, especially the strawberry flavour. “It’s frothy, man.”

But you can’t get it any more. It’s another victim of modernity, along with Toast Toppers, the Aztec bar and freedom of speech.

Can of Heinz Toast Toppers
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Can of Heinz Toast ToppersCredit: Alamy

SHOW MUST GO ON

THE comedian Graham Linehan had his gig at the Edinburgh Fringe cancelled.

Linehan’s a brilliant comedy writer – he was one of the team behind Father Ted, for example.

Comedian Graham Linehan had his gig at the Edinburgh Fringe cancelled
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Comedian Graham Linehan had his gig at the Edinburgh Fringe cancelledCredit: The Times

But the venue, Leith Arches, scrapped his stand-up show because it didn’t agree with Linehan’s sensible views on transgender stuff.

With any luck, Linehan will sue them for discrimination and win.

And with even more luck, people will boycott Leith Arches until its sap of a manager, Billy Ross, learns that penalising people for their political views is odious.


YAY, good news for once.

Inflation has dropped sharply to 6.8 per cent.

And the economy is at last showing a few signs of growth.

But inflation is still too high and the economy is not growing fast enough.

A tax cut for those in the middle band of earners would get things moving, and people would feel the benefit in their pockets.

Someone have a word with Rishi . . . 


TOM’S WEARY WALK?

I’M beginning to wonder a little bit about Hannah Ingram-Moore, daughter of the famous Captain Sir Tom.

She was charging the “charity” £85,000 per year for her services as interim chief executive.

And now it’s claimed her company has been paid appearance money for her to speak at events with links to the Captain Tom Foundation.

Her late dad captured the nation’s hearts during the pandemic, walking laps around his garden.

I’m now beginning to wonder if his daughter wasn’t behind the whole thing from the start.

“Here’s your walking frame, you old goat. Now get out on to the lawn and put some paces in. The Press is coming round.”


HERE’S your moral question of the day. If you had been at one of those Irish ATMs which was handing out “free” money, would you have taken it?

Would you have argued with yourself,“Look, the banks are all b*ds. And rich. And I’m skint. And I’m only really taking what the bloodsuckers have taken from me in overdraft charges.

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“Also, they were horrible to Nigel Farage”. Would you have counted what you did as theft? Interesting, innit?

I’m not sure what I would have done. But then it’s never happened to me. Or, knowing my luck, likely to.

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