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DEATH. Injury. Mental illness. Marriage breakdowns.
Sadly, all common occurrences for our brave warriors in the Armed Forces.
But no. This isn’t a column about those on the front line. This is one about Strictly Come Dancing.
Because, over the past week, we’ve been reminded of yet another victim contestant who claims to have suffered post traumatic stress disorder after appearing on the sequin-heavy dance show, and another couple torn apart by the infamous “curse”.
This year marks Strictly’s 20th — and never has it been more toxic. Apparently.
So as the BBC’s celebrity bookers start launching into action, securing more big names for their glossy Saturday night staple, what is going on?
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The roll call of PR disaster reads like a Ben Elton satire.
Last week, Rachel Riley reminded an audience at the Inspiration Awards for Women that her 2013 turn on the show left her with PTSD. This from a woman who ended up marrying her dance partner, Pasha Kovalev.
Rampant toxicity
Her comments follow last year’s contestant Amanda Abbington, who also says she was left with a “mild” form of the illness, one usually associated with army veterans.
Simon Weston, the most seriously injured survivor of the Falklands War, might have something to say about this, but that’s for another time.
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Then, over the weekend, Olympic swimmer Adam Peaty’s ex-girlfriend revealed to The Sun on Sunday that the programme was the “beginning of the end” of their relationship.
At least 12 other couples have broken-up following the show, with various injured parties lamenting the toxicity of allowing attractive celebrities to dance the foxtrot with attractive dance pros.
The very first series set the tone. BBC newsreader Natasha Kaplinsky split from her long-term partner after dancing with Brendan Cole, while he dumped his fiancée, fellow dancer Camilla Dallerup.
Writing in her book, Strictly Inspirational (there’s a theme here), Camilla said their split was a “mini death”. Which seems a tad dramatic.
Clearly the show is a veritable hotbed of, well, bed-hopping.
Long hours, touching in close proximity of aesthetically pleasing people, is only ever going to end one way.
Out of the dance studio and into the bedroom. It ain’t rocket science.
Of course, the BBC is damned if it does and damned if it doesn’t.
By rights, any other show with such a history of rampant toxicity would have had the plug pulled, especially by a corporation which prides itself in wokeness.
But Strictly is its biggest hitter and one of the few shows on terrestrial telly to pull in an astonishing 12million viewers. Ironically, it’s also a family favourite. Of course it shouldn’t be ditched. But yes, the BBC must get its ducks in a row.
And obviously us mere mortals don’t understand the pressure on those appearing on such an iconic show.
Certainly the trolls don’t help — and absolutely no one deserves some of the abuse dished out on a weekly basis because of an inelegant salsa.
Toughen up
I’m sure Amanda and Rachel’s experiences were, at times, cripplingly hard — but they weren’t down a coal mine. They were jazz-handing at Elstree.
The BBC already offers counselling and therapists on hand around the clock for contestants. As it should.
But the onus, perhaps, must be on the stars themselves to, just maybe, toughen up. Brace themselves for what they’ve signed up to.
They’re getting handsomely paid to prance around a ballroom, with a full face of make-up and a nice fake tan, to boost their careers. If they can’t keep it in their pants, that’s on them . . . not the BBC.
DREAD BARON
WHO’D have thought a man who plays an openly sexist, homophobic, xenophobic and racist, “Is it cos I is black?” character might just be – reportedly – a massive sexist pig IRL?
Yep, not surprisingly, Isla Fisher has distanced herself publicly from Sacha Baron Cohen, and confirmed the couple’s split, just days after Rebel Wilson’s allegations.
Australian actress Rebel accused Sacha of sexual harassment when they worked together in 2016. And she called him an “a**ehole”.
He denies the allegations.
Could this be a classic case of hiding in plain sight?
TIN HAT AT THE READY
MUCH kerfuffle over deputy Labour leader Angela Rayner and whether or not she owes capital gains tax on a second home.
Labour insist it’s a nefarious smear campaign against her by a scrambling Tory party.
They may be right.
But what we do know is that these sort of attacks, unfortunately, will become the new norm for Labour.
For 14 long years the Conservative government has – quite rightly – borne the brunt.
Labour, who will have to catastrophically cock things up NOT to get in power after this year’s general election, are now under scrutiny like never before.
Buckle up, chaps, it’s hard hat time.
AUNTIE IS SUCH A SNOB
GILLIAN ANDERSON and Billie Piper are both utterly superb in new Netflix film Scoop.
But what the dramatisation of Prince Andrew’s car crash Newsnight interview really highlights is the BBC’s innate snobbery.
Sam McAlister, played by Billie, is the brilliant woman responsible for landing the disgraced Duke. Throughout the film, she is seen being shunned by colleagues; routinely dismissed and overlooked for her non-broadsheet/non-traditional background.
Our national broadcaster is supposed to be all-inclusive – representing every one of its licence fee payers.
It would do well to lose the inverted snobbery, and start listening to all voices – not just those who read The Guardian.
SOUNDS ONE TO AVOID
WE have hit peak trigger warning.
After sex, nudity, violence or politically incorrect language, now theatregoers are being warned that they might be upset to hear people eating.
In what is not a late April Fool’s, would-be buyers of tickets for two performances of OUT at London’s Lilian Baylis Studio are being told: “The performance contains sounds of people eating so those with misophonia might find some parts uncomfortable.”
For the uninitiated, misophonia is described as “severe sensitivity to the sounds of people chomping, slurping, swallowing or eating”.
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TBF, there is little more grating than the sound of someone aggressively chewing.
I will, indeed, be giving this one a miss.