Swansea flop Eder scores extra-time winner to snatch glory and stun host nation
Cristiano Ronaldo cries tears of joy after leaving the pitch in despair following early knee injury
SHAKE your head all you like.
Five weeks ago, even England beat Portugal in a friendly at Wembley.
Fast forward to the Stade de France and Fernando Santos has just led them to European glory.
It is another twist of the knife for English football.
Anyway, enough of that.
This night is about Portugal — population of 12 million — and their remarkable battle through this bloated football tournament.
Two years ago they crashed out of the World Cup in Brazil at the group stage. Sound familiar?
They took their medicine, took a kicking and came back stronger.
Yes, this was supposed to be France’s final, a glorious homecoming for the players after travelling around the country to Lille, Marseilles and Lyon.
Substitute Eder lets fly from long-range to score the winning goal for Portugal against France in the Euro 2016 final
It feels like the back of beyond for them now.
Eder, a £5million flop flogged on by Swansea at the start of the summer, scored the decisive goal for Portugal after 109 minutes.
It prompted some remarkable celebrations, with the entire Portuguese bench racing on to the pitch to celebrate his special strike.
Remember, Portugal could not even win a group game against little Iceland, Hungary or Austria.
In many ways they deserved it for their resolve alone, coping without superstar skipper Cristiano Ronaldo after he was forced off after 24 minutes through injury.
Mr Muscles is usually the man for the big occasion.
He saved Portugal by scoring twice in their final group game — a 3-3 draw against Hungary — that feels like a lifetime ago.
The guy is ageless, leaping into the air to score with a brilliant header in the semi-final against Wales. Normally he would have bounced off Dimitri Payet’s seventh-minute challenge. This time, his night was over.
What followed next was remarkable, with the Stade de France rising in honour of one of the game’s greatest. It was tingling stuff.
On came Ricardo Quaresma in his place. It is no fun trying to emulate Ronnie — and it is no fun watching it, either.
France were forced to take the initiative, under pressure to win a hat-trick of European Championships in front of their own fans.
Instead, they seized up, failing to meet expectations.
Big players, commanding even bigger transfer fees, could not find a way past Rui Patricio.
Antoine Griezmann, what with his six goals and that velvet slipper of a left boot, wanted to do it all himself.
One first-half header was tipped away, another flashed over Patricio’s crossbar.
France were pumped up, with an impromptu war cry from Patrice Evra before kick-off that would give the Haka a run for its money.
Around 80,000 Les Bleus fans were up for it as well, belting out La Marseillaise and waving La Tricolore from the stands.
Sadly, the players could not make it a special homecoming. The idea that you can flog some of the world’s footballers for ten months of the year then add another five weeks on the end for their countries is ludicrous.
France had two full days rest after beating world champions Germany in the semi-finals. Portugal, who beat Wales, had three.
It would be easy to give the players a coating, but there has been so little preparation time on the training field.
Eat. Sleep. Travel. Play. Repeat. Ridiculous. Never mind the quality, count the cash.
France were so fitful, waiting for the inspiration to come from Paul Pogba, Payet or the magic man Griezmann.
Instead, Moussa Sissoko, France’s best player on the night, nearly put them ahead.
He sent Adrien Silva for a hot dog, turning the defender inside the area before Patricio came to Portugal’s rescue.
There were roadblocks everywhere, with that nuisance Pepe and his central defensive partner Jose Fonte keeping Olivier Giroud quiet.
Cedric Soares was booked by Mark Clattenburg, cautioned for nobbling Payet in a pre-meditated revenge attack for the challenge that ended Ronaldo’s final.
The West Ham star was booed off the field by Portugal’s supporters when he was substituted after 57 minutes. They did not forget.
It does not matter now, because they have their hands on the trophy for the first time.
The first signs of serious ambition came ten minutes from time when France, almost out of steam, began to slow up.
Hugo Lloris pawed Nani’s mishit cross into the path of Quaresma and the Portugal winger connected with a volley straight into the France keeper’s hands.
Then came the inevitable — extra-time.
Pepe’s header went wide and Raphael Guerreiro — born in France — saw a free-kick rebound off the crossbar.
More from Euro 2016
Then came the goal, with Eder finishing France off with a 25-yard right-foot strike that deserved to win the final for Portugal.
It is a remarkable triumph, especially with the generosity of their hosts at the final whistle.
With France players flat on their backs, their supporters stood to applaud Portugal for their resilience and their determination.
They showed class and dignity in defeat, honouring Portugal’s heroes in a way that will be remembered for an awful long time.
As for Ronnie and the rest, they can lie back on their sun loungers.
And think of England.
