How to Get Over Your Fear of Flying

If the idea of flying makes you nervous, you're not alone. Thankfully, there are a few simple steps you can take to alleviate anxiety before or during your next flight. Learning more about aircraft technology, choosing the right seat, or distracting yourself with an epic movie marathon on the plane could all make a difference. But if fear of flying is really holding you back, it's worth considering therapy.

While a clinical diagnosis of aviophobia is pretty rare, general anxiety about air travel is far more common. Some fliers are worried about being in an enclosed space for too long, others dislike heights, and a select group are terrified they might accidentally open a plane door mid-flight. Whatever your trigger may be, these expert tips from pilots, flight attendants, and therapists can help you overcome your fear of flying.

Investigate the root of your fear.

More often than not, it's not the flying itself you're actually afraid of — that's why it's important to analyze your anxiety before you try to overcome it.

"When people come in wanting to address a fear of flying, they will often say that they know flying is a safe form of travel and this may make sense to them in a rational, logical way," says clinical psychologist Dr. Rebecca Hoffenberg of NY Health Hypnosis & Integrative Therapy. "The problem is that their body has formed a response pattern where airplanes have become associated with anxiety."

Licensed therapist Jules Jean-Pierre of Therapeutic Health Counseling suggests that the more common fears associated with flying are the fears of dying, small spaces (claustrophobia), motion sickness, getting COVID-19, and judgment from fellow passengers, among others. Once you figure out what triggers your anxiety about flying, you can focus on overcoming that specific trigger. 

Demystify turbulence.

Turbulence is nothing more than wonky wind currents that cause planes to bobble a bit, not at all unlike driving on a bumpy road or sailing on a choppy sea. But seriously, there's no need to worry — planes are specifically designed to handle and minimize turbulence.

"When you look out your window and see the wing bobbing up and down as the plane experiences turbulence, don't fear that the plane is about to come apart," says United Airlines captain Korry Franke. "Instead, be thankful, because those flexing wings are like shock absorbers working to smooth out the bumpy ride on a dirt country road."

Plus, these days, technology is used to predict areas of turbulence so that pilots can avoid them and provide the smoothest ride possible.

Learn about built-in safety features.

"Airplanes are mystical — albeit commonplace — machines. They make strange noises and provide unique sensations. They're complex. And they operate in a system with few parallels to what people know and understand," says Franke. So comfort yourself by learning how planes are designed to withstand emergencies. Preparedness is key in any emergency and knowing that you're equipped to handle different scenarios may help ease any worry.

It's also helpful to do some research about air circulation on planes to help alleviate your fear of contracting COVID-19 (or any other contagious illness) on a flight. According to the International Air Transport Association (IATA) website, fresh air is continually pumped into the plane — the cabin air is refreshed every two to three minutes — and any recycled air is pushed through HEPA filters that remove 99.9 percent of impurities, including bacteria and viruses. Plus, as the Federal Aviation Administration's website states, the air in a cabin typically flows from the ceiling to the floor, not from front to back, so contaminants are not usually swirling around. 

Study plane crash history.

It might sound counterintuitive, but arming yourself with knowledge of past aviation incidents might help you feel more at ease on a flight. Try watching a show like Mayday (also known as Air Disasters), which educates viewers about plane crashes — it'll tell you what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how the industry has changed to prevent such an incident from happening again.

You can also watch videos of all the tests planes must undergo before being approved for flight, from stress tests that show how much wings can bend to extreme flight tests that push the limits of an aircraft. Spoiler alert: planes are really tough.

Talk to your flight attendants.

Flight attendants are always there for you. "We are your best advocate. We will continue to check up on you and see how you are doing to make sure you feel good during your flight," says flight attendant Jennifer Jaki Johnson, founder of travel wellness brand WellMiss. "We are trained to handle fainting, hyperventilation, and a list of various health incidents that may occur on the plane."

They're also air safety experts. Flight attendants are required by airlines to do in-person training once a year (supplemented with regular online training) to ensure they're up-to-date on emergency procedures. "Our number one priority is to ensure the safety of our passengers," says Johnson. "So, know you are in good hands."

Take a flying lesson.

"I truly believe people generally aren't fearful of flying; they're afraid of what they don't know, or they're afraid of being out of control," says Franke. Eliminate the mystery by taking a flying lesson — if not in a real plane, then at least in a simulator. That way, when you get on your next flight as a passenger, you'll have a much more thorough understanding of how a plane works.

Pick a seat that helps you avoid your trigger.

One of the few things passengers do have control over on a flight is seat selection. Once you've determined the root of your fear, choose a seat that helps minimize your triggers. It might even be worth spending extra. If you're afraid of heights, stay away from the windows. Conversely, if being aware of what's going on outside helps keep you calm, park yourself in a window seat. Aisle seats can be helpful for those who feel claustrophobic or restless and need to move around — upgrading to business or first class could be helpful there, too.

Visualize the trip before you leave home.

Mentally going through the motions of air travel and creating a plan can also reduce your fear. "Perhaps the person starts by engaging in active imaginal strategy, simply walking through, in their head, the steps to leaving their home, traveling to the airport, and imagining themselves waiting for the flight, being greeted to board the flight, and how they could actually enjoy the flight," suggests Rodney Luster, a psychotherapist and senior director at the University of Phoenix College of Doctoral Studies. If you're not familiar with the process, enlist the help of a friend or family member who travels regularly — they may be able to coach you through the steps.

See a therapist.

If your fear is truly paralyzing, you're probably best off seeking professional help. "Mental health professionals can help individuals overcome a fear of flying through the use of cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure and response prevention," says Dr. Rachel Kutner, psychologist and founder of Central CBT. Medical doctors can also prescribe anti-anxiety medication, which can certainly help nervous fliers.

Find a distraction that works.

Some people can get lost in a good movie or podcast, which could distract them from the fact that they're flying, but it's not that simple for everyone. Travel writer Nicole Ratner suggests finding an engaging activity that will take your attention away from the anxiety. "So, for instance, I am left-handed, and when any turbulence begins, I will take out a piece of paper and use my opposite hand to write my name over and over again. It helps keep my brain sharp and focused on what's in front of me to distract me from the fear."

Use grounding or breathing techniques on board.

"Grounding oneself helps a person get out of their head and focus on their surroundings. When a person grounds, they become aware of their five senses in their environment," says licensed psychotherapist James Miller, who hosts the Lifeology radio show. "For example, what do I hear around me? Let me feel my toes in my shoes, my hands on my pants. What do I smell? Taste? See? When a person focuses solely on their senses, it helps reduce the anxious thoughts and causes them to stay present in the moment."

Miller also recommends using breathing techniques to reduce anxiety, such as box breathing. "This allows a person to maximize their breath instead of allowing the fear and worry to increase their heart rate and potentially cause a panic attack," he says.

Do it anyway.

Exposure therapy really is a solid way to confront a phobia, according to some experts. "Exposure allows a person to come into contact with the feared stimulus and disprove their exaggerated, irrational cognitions surrounding the fear," says Dr. Kutner. Avoidance, on the other hand, only makes fears worse. So, if you really want to overcome a fear of flying, the best thing you can do for yourself is to get on a plane. Start small with a very short flight, then gradually work your way up to longer ones.

Travel with a trusted companion.

If you're going to tackle your fear head-on, a little personal support can go a long way. "Rely on a trusted travel companion to come with you on the flight. Be honest about your fears and share what you think may be helpful for you if you start to feel afraid," says Gina Radice-Vella, chief psychologist at Jersey Shore University Medical Center.