Monday Morning Minnesota: Never spend money

It’s Monday again and that means me not knowing what to write for this little opening paragraph thing! I really like pizza, do you guys like pizza? Follow me on Twitter and I’ll pretend to send you a pizza quietly to myself. Here’s some links!

• Will Willians Astudillo break Joe DiMaggio's hit streak? No! But that won’t stop fangraphs from analyzing the chances of it. I think someone linked this earlier but I’m contractually obligated to mention Astudillo every Monday or Myjah will put me back in the basement. I don’t like the basement.
• The Pirates claimed Aaron Slegers in case you missed that. He’ll be slegging his ers for the Pirates now.
• MLB.com was kind enough to remind us that Michael Pineda exists. He’s just another potential boon for the Twins who will either be bad or good, unless they are mediocre. Those are literally all of the options.
• Marney Gellner will call 3 Twins games this spring which is really cool. I don’t have any jokes for this one, support women in baseball you assholes.
• Manny Machado and Bryce Harper are still looking for contracts. In fact no one seems to want to pay anything to anyone at any time which leads me to believe being a free agent is a lot like being a writer.

Today’s soundtrack is the intro to Scott Pilgrim, a movie that is so horribly underrated and I forgot how much I loved it.