Jason Tartick is still processing his split from ex-fiancée Kaitlyn Bristowe.
“Kaitlyn meant so much to me and still currently does, and I get so worried,” Tartick, 35, said while chatting with former Bachelor Nation host Chris Harrison on “The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever” on Friday, December 8. “I want to preface this … I just get so worried about the repercussions of what I say and I care, still, so much for her and it’s really, really hard for me to have these conversations. So, I’ll do my best.”
Tartick broke down in tears as he confessed to Harrison, 52, that he felt like the end of his relationship with Bristowe, 38, was “on the horizon” before they announced their split in August.
“You haven’t even asked a good question,” Tartick joked to Harrison after he gained his composure. “It was a tough time so to go back to it, it’s tough. I’m also bad at that, I’ve worked on it. I always have been someone who hates showing my emotions, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.”
Tartick recalled having a difficult time being vulnerable while he was competing for Becca Kufrin’s heart on season 14 of The Bachelorette, which was easily mistaken for forcing tears on camera. He said he was actually trying to “hide every tear” until filming ended so he could “go nuts and cry” in private.
Since he and Bristowe called it quits, Tartick admitted to feeling “very sensitive these days.” He struggled to talk about his former fiancée, whom he loved “so much,” tearing up for a second time on the podcast.
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“The way I would say it, there was a lot of deteriorating complacency. … F–k,” he said as he started to cry. “So that’s my answer.”
The breakup wasn’t a “shock” to either of them, but Tartick still didn’t want to believe that his four-year relationship with Bristowe was coming to an end. He admitted that he’s cried more in the past six months than he has in his entire life, but he felt good about letting out his pent-up emotions.
“You don’t want to belittle someone who’s lost a significant other. You don’t want to compare but a big breakup, a divorce, it’s a loss,” Harrison said to Tartick. “You are mourning the loss of something and it’s different than losing a significant other or [my wife], Lauren [Zima], losing her dad, but at the same time, you are still losing something and you’re losing someone and what’s also difficult about that is that someone still exists. They didn’t go away. They did not die, you’re going to see them.”
Tartick and Bristowe did, in fact, see each other last month at Harrison’s wedding to Zima, marking their first reunion since Tartick moved out of their shared home. Tartick described the experience as seeing Bristowe as “friendly” and “respectful” on a November episode of his “Trading Secrets” podcast.