How to Plan a Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

When it comes to pre-wedding events, there’s no doubt that the rehearsal dinner is the most special of all. This gathering of your closest circle is a wonderful celebration where you can enjoy a great meal, listen to speeches, and toast to the upcoming nuptials. The evening is traditionally hosted by one partner’s family, but is now often covered by the couple themselves. While you might put the majority of your wedding planning focus on the reception, the rehearsal dinner should not be overlooked. As with any special event, it benefits from planning; you should be intentional about your choice of venue and the aesthetic and ambiance of the evening.

“Consider the rehearsal dinner as the wedding's amuse-bouche,” advises Lynn Easton, founder and creative director of Easton Events. “It provides the couple an opportunity to unwind, ideally, and be with their closest friends and loved ones. Planning a gathering that maximizes enjoyment is key!”

With the smaller guest count, a rehearsal dinner is also a great opportunity to dig into the design and incorporate playfulness into the party. “The special thing about a rehearsal dinner is that you get to have a mini-wedding,” says Fallon Carter, founder and creative director of Fallon Carter Events. The headcount is typically much smaller than at the main event, she adds, so “you’re able to personalize a rehearsal dinner a lot better, leaning into more of the design details.”

Ahead, learn the essential steps to planning a rehearsal dinner experience that you just might love even more than your wedding day.

Create Your Guest List

Unless you are hosting a very small wedding, the rehearsal dinner guest list is usually more curated than the main event. Traditionally, the dinner follows the wedding ceremony rehearsal and includes those who rehearsed and their spouses. This includes the couple’s wedding party and immediate families. You can of course choose to include other guests, as well, but it’s OK to be selective; this is a gathering of your nearest and dearest.

Since the guest list is smaller, you’ll need to send a separate invitation to your rehearsal dinner group. This can come via email, or be incorporated into wedding invitations as you mail them out. “Oftentimes, we fold these into the wedding invitation to ensure the design feels cohesive with the rest of the printed suite,” shares Easton. “While we love a formal RSVP via snail mail, we’re finding that, more often than not, the host prefers to list their email to collect RSVPs.” Carter notes that if there is a specific rehearsal dinner host, they may want to send out the invitations themselves or work with their own stationer.

Going the digital route with your invites? Double-check that only the right people can access it. “If you’re sending electronic invitations or linking to a wedding website, make sure that any details are password protected,” Easton adds. “You don’t want to run the risk of having guests for your wedding show up to a rehearsal dinner and they aren’t technically invited.”

Select a Venue and Vendors

The location of your rehearsal dinner can set the stage for your event. There are no rules when it comes to your celebration, so venues can range from a fancy restaurant to a backyard to a beach or a barn. “What tone are you trying to set? Based on that answer, book your venue accordingly, and the decor and menu will naturally follow,” recommends Easton.

When evaluating potential venues, consider the guest count and distance from the main wedding venue. It’s helpful to find a location close to where you have a hotel block in place; you should also provide transportation for guests, if possible. Naturally, you’ll need to consider your budget. Different venues offer different amenities—or, lack them. Certain outdoor event spaces without a nearby kitchen will need equipment brought in for the day, for example. And while Carter loves how a restaurant already has in-house catering and decor to work with, she advises you take privacy into account, if you’re not doing a buyout. “Sometimes a rehearsal dinner is in a separate room but you can still hear the outside ambiance of the restaurant,” she notes, going on to point out that, if you’ve got speeches on the schedule, you don’t necessarily want strangers listening in.

Easton also shares that it’s important to have a handle on logistics. “Always ask what your install ‘start time’ is before signing a contract, especially if you're booking a restaurant,” recommends the planner. “If the answer is 3 p.m. (after lunch service), your planner and designer have a pretty tight window to make the magic happen, depending on your vision.”

When choosing vendors, both Carter and Easton agree that it’s best to stick with the team you chose for your wedding day. “We encourage our couples to keep the vendor team consistent throughout the weekend as it keeps a creative synergy flowing between all of the events,” says Easton. “You’re also conserving time and energy by building off an existing relationship rather than starting from scratch.” Your wedding planning team already knows you, your style, and what you’re looking for, in other words; working with them on the rehearsal dinner can also save money. “It generally helps with pricing because you’re probably paying tax and labor fees one time,” notes Carter. “All of those things tend to add up and sometimes your vendors are a little bit more lenient if they're already going to be setting up the day before.”

Choose the Menu and Ambiance

The star of the rehearsal dinner—minus the couple, of course—is the food. When choosing your catering, have some fun with the selection and embrace your inner foodie. “This is the time to potentially have a much more playful menu,” says Carter. “When we do a food tasting for your wedding day, sometimes there are menu options that get left behind. A rehearsal dinner is a great place to highlight some of the options that you might have had at a tasting that didn't make the final cut, but that you are still really delighted to share with your family and friends.” She also suggests selecting some unique catering options like food trucks or a clambake if it fits with your venue.

Most rehearsal dinners are formal seated dinners with a coursed-out meal. Yet this formality doesn’t have to translate into stuffiness. “Rehearsal dinners offer the opportunity to entertain the way you might at home, given the intimate guest count,” explains Easton. “Seated dinners can really create an atmosphere that feels personal. Think about using intentionally narrow tables to encourage convivial conversation, and select strong tabletop pieces that look like they came straight from your party pantry.” You also can have meals served family style to encourage a more engaging environment among guests. “Be sure to ask your caterer what the best dish is for a group of your size,” she adds.

As for the look of your event, don’t feel like you have to mirror the aesthetic of the big day. “The rehearsal dinner is a great way for you to flex and get out some of that creative energy you couldn't place within your wedding day, but you are still really excited to show off,” advises Carter. She says you can choose a different palette and embrace an original theme for the party. However, don’t be afraid to use that monogram from your invitation suite. “Similar to a marketing approach for a restaurant or hotel group, we like to have subtle ‘branding’ moments tucked in throughout the weekend that weave a common thread between each party,” shares Easton.

Another way to shape the environment of your event is with music. Curate a playlist for the dinner that will create the ideal ambiance for the scene. “Conversation is great, but sometimes having a little bit of background music is lovely,” says Carter. While you can connect your playlist to a speaker system, the planner shares that bringing in a live performer like an acoustic guitarist can add a beautiful touch.

Decide Who Will Give Toasts

Toasts are one of the best parts of a rehearsal dinner. It’s an opportunity for your nearest and dearest to say kind words to the couple before one of the biggest milestones in their life. So, who gets the honor of picking up the mic? Carter says, “Whoever you want! I would say try and get as many speeches as possible for the rehearsal dinner so that your wedding reception goes a little bit smoother and you can focus on the dancing.” She does note that the host of the dinner should definitely be asked to say a few words if they want, and she encourages the couple to make a short speech, too.

When planning the evening, make sure there will be a microphone available for the toasts. “When you solidify your venue, I would have a conversation to see if that's something they offer in-house,” says Carter. “Specifically if you’re going to a restaurant, learn if they have in-house pipe sound. If you’re not doing the full buyout, you might have to organize someone to bring a speaker and a mic for speeches.” She says mics may not be required depending on the space and guest count. “You can also work with the coordinator at the venue to identify based on the ambiance and the time of your event if you will need a mic.”

As for timing, toasts are best held in between courses so guests can give them their full attention. To keep the pace flowing, Easton says, “Designate an engaging MC for the evening to keep toasts on schedule and provide said MC with a handheld, typed-up schedule. Brownie points for engaging intros and outros.” She adds, “Remember, the speeches will always take longer than you think, so continuing beverage service during toasts is a must.”