Cyber-System Overload: How Online Were You in August?

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New favorite guy

Somewhere between where camp ends and genius begins sits “Planet of the Bass,” a Eurodance parody by Kyle Gordon and the song of the summer for smooth-brained listeners who prefer not to digest more than two syllables at a time. The only person now more famous than Gordon’s character, D.J. Crazy Times, is his crimped-haired companion, Biljana Electronica. Biljana was originally played by creator Audrey Trullinger, resulting in an uprising when influencers like Marais Grace and Sabrina Brier took the role in subsequent videos. To right this egregious wrong, Trullinger returned for the official music video and joined Gordon onstage at a Jonas Brothers concert for a live performance.

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Rae returns

After the unreleased song first surfaced on TikTok in 2022, Addison Rae finally released her long-awaited pop hit “2 die 4 (feat. Charli XCX)” as part of her first EP on August 18. This is also the song of the summer, but for even smoother-brained listeners who need more numbers to do girl math.

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PS(5), I love you

Following in the footsteps of creators like Logan Paul — always a road best left less traveled, if you ask me — 2023 Streamer of the Year Kai Cenat hosted a Play Station 5 giveaway in NYC’s Union Square on August 4 that resulted in the arrest of 65 people, including 30 minors. Cenat, who has close to 7 million followers on Twitch himself, faces at least two counts of inciting a riot and unlawful assembly and had harsh words for fans who had participated in the destruction: “I am beyond, bro, disappointed in anybody who became destructive that day, bro.”

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Dead wrong

On August 9, a now-deleted post appeared on the account of 16-year-old creator Lil Tay. It claimed Lil Tay, real name Tay Tian, and her brother, Jason Tian, had passed away. But the next day, TMZ reported that it was all a hoax, with Meta confirming the creator’s account had been hacked. In between, misinformation about Tian went wild, and things are still murky with more difficult-to-verify statements appearing on Tian’s account.

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Cop out

Police officers have a duty to “protect and serve,” but certainly not to “slide,” if a viral August 1 video is anything to go by. In it, a Boston police officer can be heard rattling down a metal slide in the newly renovated playground at City Hall Plaza before shooting out of it like a T-shirt cannon. While various local outlets reported that the officer was injured from the experience, it sounds like he’s overall fine, which gave the internet the green light to tear into the video, memeing it into absurdity. People even began showing up at the cop slide to try it out themselves, though most failed to reach the extreme speed the cop somehow achieved.

Why it’s a 2: In addition to going viral across Twitter and TikTok, the cop-slide incident earned a comical level of coverage in the media. Cable news was all over it, even cajoling Boston mayor Michelle Wu into giving a statement (“Everything has a chance to be viral these days”), and a physicist wrote an extremely scientific breakdown of what he believes happened for Wired: “I would guess it has to be something about the clothes he’s wearing.”

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Nice for what?

Creator and former parenting influencer Bobbi Althoff went viral back in July for her podcast interview with Drake, but of course it wasn’t until Barstool founder Dave Portnoy inserted himself into the conversation that things got contentious. While Althoff and Drake’s interview received over 10 million views thanks to Althoff’s stoic stage persona and Drake’s playful banter, People reported that the video had disappeared from YouTube, as well as podcast platforms, on August 14. The pair had also reportedly unfollowed each other on Instagram.

Rumors began swirling — was this a publicity stunt or had something happened between Drake and Althoff? Portnoy revealed on an August 16 episode of the BFFs podcast that he had slid into Althoff’s DMs to get the scoop, specifically asking about the rumor that she and Drake had hooked up. Althoff, who is married with two children, said that she was not commenting publicly but that, off the record, “that is not true.” But in social-media clips of Portnoy’s retelling of their discussion, his words were bleeped and otherwise edited in a way that implied the two very much had hooked up. In response, Althoff released screenshots of their DMs on her Instagram Story and Portnoy later apologized both publicly and privately, in addition to removing the edited clip from Barstool’s social media. Drake, meanwhile, has spent the past month becoming a parenting influencer of his own.

Why it’s a 2: This drama sits at the intersection of two of the largest online fandoms most willing to debate a wall: rap music and Barstool Sports. Ask your annoying friends about it.

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DBE (Dust Bowl Energy)

“iPhone face” is a term to describe an actor who just looks like they’ve seen the internet, and therefore can’t convincingly be in a historical period drama. “Skyler Gisondo face,” on the other hand, will henceforth be used to describe someone who looks like they’ve seen all of space and time, a descriptor that is so far reserved for…actor Skyler Gisondo. On August 13, The Righteous Gemstones star posted a photo of himself holding a white fluffy dog on Instagram. In it, he wears a far-off, dreamy expression, his hair blowing in the wind.

“he looks like the dust bowl woman … burdened yet beautiful,” Twitter user @becomingcry captioned the photo on Twitter. It went viral, with other users like @pwiscila photoshopping a lace dress, as well as a sweeping hairline and earrings, onto the original picture, exponentially increasing its Dust Bowl Energy. That same day, a new, similarly ethereal photo of Selena Gomez had dropped, taking this meme to nonsense levels.

Why it’s a 2: This bit of Twitter tomfoolery reached Gisondo himself. He shared the memes on his Instagram Story. “I’m crying,” he said in response to the first tweet, and when he came upon the photoshopped version he declared: “Ok this one’s my favorite.”

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Paul alone

I don’t follow internet-famous couples for the same reason I don’t follow internet-famous pets: It always ends in heartbreak. Anna Paul, a 24-year-old TikTokker and sex worker, announced on August 12 that she and her boyfriend of eight years, Glen Thompson, had split. The two had made content together for years across YouTube and TikTok, and were the internet mom and dad of an extremely passionate fanbase. Their split, according to Paul, was amicable, and “a long time coming” after eight years together. Thompson has continued to appear in videos with Paul, because daily vloggers can never rest.

Why it’s a 3: You may have never heard of Anna Paul, but 39 million other people have, and they all watched her breakup announcement video on TikTok, earning the incident an “internet reacts” roundup on BuzzFeed and likely generating more money from the breakup video alone than you’ll ever see in your life.

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wdym ijbol?

Not another reboot. Despite the word “ijbol” initially tricking people into thinking it was the phonetic spelling of a Korean term, it turns out it’s actually a 2009 acronym for “I just burst out laughing.” While other early-internet acronyms for laughter like “LOL” and “LMAO” are still used to this day, ijbol fell out of favor, only to be resurrected this year by Gen Z like low-rise jeans. It was the K-Pop community that resurfaced the term, using it as a verb, a noun, a state of being. Vice President Kamala Harris is ijbol, for instance. If you still don’t get it, that’s okay, because the confusion around “ijbol” has become part of the novelty. Stick to safer, more millennial territory instead—maybe ROFLCOPTER will make a comeback next.

Why it’s a 3: While the term was ubiquitous enough to earn a New York Times writeup, getting a New York Times write-up means the joke is now dead.

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Women in STEM

The girls are at it again. Now that they’re full up on girl dinner, they’re attempting arithmetic. And while no one could claim these calculations are what academics would call “accurate,” they feel right, and that’s what matters. “Girl math” originated on New Zealand radio show Fletch, Vaughan & Hayley, during a segment where a listener calls in to share an expensive purchase. The hosts then justify said purchase by using “girl math.” $5,600 on travel, accommodations, and tickets for four nights of Taylor Swift’s Eras tour? Well, since you’re going for four nights but only traveling once, you saved money on every flight you didn’t take for the other three shows. That’s over close to $2000 saved already, and the more loopholes you find, the closer you are to netting out to zero.

Why it’s a 3: Technically this is closer to a four, but with the amount of hand-wringing and think pieces the silly game produced, girl math bumps this up to a 3.

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Keeping up with Kermit

What did I just say about following internet-famous pets? Luckily Kermit, the 13-year-old dog belonging to Jenna Marbles and husband Julien Solomita, is still with us. But on August 15 Solomita shared an update about his health on Twitch.

“He’s having kind of a hard time lately,” he said. In addition to suffering from Cushing’s disease, which causes extreme thirst, the pair believe Kermit is losing his hearing which is worsening his already significant anxiety. “It’s hard to see your dogs get old.”

Kermit’s 2010 adoption is one of the earliest videos still up on Jenna Marbles’s channel, and has received over 11 million views. He’s been a staple throughout her content ever since, until she retired back in 2020.

Why it’s a 4: Jenna Marbles’s dogs are important characters in the extended Jenna Marbles universe, especially since she no longer posts or appears in videos. In the chat accompanying Solomita’s stream, many people sent their good wishes towards Kermit, and reminisced the ways he’s felt like part of their lives over the past decade.

“​​This felt like you bringing Kermit to say goodbye to us, and I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that,” a commenter wrote on YouTube.

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Design-your-own drama

Were you an influencer, or were you influenced? That’s the question at the heart of the truly petty drama that consumed interior design TikTok this month. Creator TayBeepBoop, who makes maximalist design content for her audience of almost 2 million, kicked things off at the beginning of the month with a since-deleted video accusing fellow creator KaarinJoy of copying her design ideas — think brightly squiggly lines, spray-painted animal busts, and many other concepts that are already ubiquitous on Pinterest. She also took issue with KaarinJoy using her wallpaper … that she made in collaboration with Otto Studio and sold for people to buy. KaarinJoy made a video in response, saying that she never meant anything malicious by taking inspiration from TayBeepBoop’s content. Battle lines were drawn, and almost immediately, everyone was on the side of KaarinJoy, including Otto Studios, who appears to have removed its collection with TayBeepBoop.

“My behavior has been wild and inappropriate, and I apologize it’s taken me so long to realize that,” TayBeepBoop said in a follow-up video released after days of backlash, made up of near-non-stop commentary from other users on TikTok. “I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. Genuinely, I admit that for days I didn’t want to be fake and give an apology that I didn’t actually believe.”

Why it’s a 4: For a few chaotic days, we were all members of MaximalistDesignTok — and then swiftly moved on. The hashtag #taybeepboopcopying received more than 810,000 views, but as August nears its end, the debacle has all but disappeared from For You Pages. However, stragglers are still diligently commenting things like “Did you get permission for this?” and “I think I saw this on KaarinJoy’s page first” on TayBeepBoop’s recent videos. The drama may be gone, but it’s certainly not forgotten.

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Cleye gets creepy

Speaking of heavily memed singers, the story of Rodger Cleye has taken a dark turn, with an allegation of inappropriate behavior towards a 19-year-old fan. While Cleye rose to popularity on the app over the past year for his earnest singing of Taylor Swift songs and other hits, becoming a frequently-used template, a collaboration with 19-year-old musician Olivia McCraw soured audiences on the creator. On the surface, it appeared the two met up on August 7 to sing Guns N’ Roses’ cover of Bob Dylan’s “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” on TikTok live, but McCraw later revealed the whole experience made her uncomfortable. She claims Cleye, who is 58, began rubbing her back on the Live, kissed her when it was over, and had even made her his phone background, despite the pair only being connected for a number of days.

In response to an inquiry from NBC News, Cleye said that McCraw had initially told him she was 21, and while he’s removed a number of videos from this month, he’s continued to post defiantly of the backlash, limiting comments on his most recent videos.

“I really don’t want the worst for anyone,” McCraw told NBC News. “I want the best for everyone. But I really do think we need to move forward. It’s just we need to move forward being safe and making the right choices.”

Why it’s a 5: Despite his 3 million followers, Rodger Cleye is more of a TikTok side character, so if the algorithm didn’t already serve him to you, it wasn’t gonna start. But that doesn’t mean his following, not to mention an almost 40-year age difference, can’t create a significant power imbalance when it comes to interacting with fans.

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Diva duets

Sing-with-me challenges have been a staple on TikTok for almost as long as the app has existed, but it took until this summer for someone like Queenzzielocthevoice, real name Teresa Smith, to come along and totally reinvent the genre. Smith is a singer-songwriter from Macon, Georgia who grew up singing at home with her brother, and cites Aretha Franklin as her biggest influence. She also has a particular talent, it seems, for not researching or retaining the melody of any of the songs she’s attempting to sing along with. Therefore, each video is truly a surprise, but none have delighted as much as her cover of Billie Eilish’s “What Was I Made For?” In addition to the unique melody, Smith’s rendition also reinvents the lyrics, her intonation changing “all the enjoyment” to “although enjoyment,” inspiring a larger trend on the app. Other users are now sharing their own covers of “What Was I Made For? (Queenzzielocthevoice’s Version)” as well as remixing and combining the over forty covers Smith has posted of the single.

Why it’s a 5: While I personally cannot unhear Smith’s voice every time I now listen to the song, if I were to blurt out her rendition in any kind of public place, nary a soul would sing along.