extremely online

The Memes Were Looking Absolutely Fire in January

We’re Vulture. Of course we’re going to tell you how online you are.

It’s only been a month … Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Videos: ashleybluedefxo, HasanAbi, natsodrizzy, Pocketpair

Everyone’s New Year’s resolution this year? Be even more online. To prove it, in the time it takes me to write this introduction, I bet that another viral cup will have milkshake ducked, another Real Housewife will have their finsta exposed, and Nicki Minaj will have fired off at least ten more tweets about Megan Thee Stallion. In other words: just a normal day in 2024.

But while some people’s Januaries were filled with deep-fried Yemeni pirate memes, others are just finding out about Gag City. Being online looks different for everybody, and to celebrate this rich tapestry of digital discovery, we’ve created a quiz to cover everything that’s gone down on the internet this month. For each event you remember, you claim the corresponding points. So put on your “sensual touching-grass afternoon” Spotify Daylist, and see just how online you were in January.

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+1 Point

Headline-making culture news or online moments that were so universal even someone who still uses a Hotmail account would be aware of them.

Deplaned: Free idea: a plane window that doesn’t whiff off a hole in the side of the hull while flying. Minutes after Alaska Airlines Flight 1282 took off from Portland on January 5, an out-of-use emergency door refitted as a window seat detached, depressurizing the cabin and leaving passengers exposed to a giant hole while 16,000 feet in the air. The surreal flight scene and emergency landing was documented by a passenger on TikTok, and phones that got sucked out into the ether were later found by civilians back on solid ground. The last message they had all sent? “You have no good plane ideas.”

Alpha overload: Gen Alpha is growing up, and after spending their formative brain-developing years watching TikTok GRWMs and idolizing Alix Earle, it’s no surprise that Sephora was the first place they demanded to go when they finally learned how to speak. What is surprising, however, is just how annoyed everyone got with it. A December 29 TikTok from creator Chloe Van Berkel remarking on the number of young girls she was seeing in Sephora inspired hot takes about “Sephora tweens” — It’s bad! It’s good! Actually, it’s not a thing at all! — across every single website and morning-show segment.

The View, in review: Almost ten years after Kelly Osbourne horseshoe-theoried her way into a racism scandal on The View, the audio has gotten new life on TikTok, with users remixing her famous “If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilets, Donald Trump?” with their own sillier, less problematic takes. In light of the quote’s resurgence, Osbourne spoke with Rolling Stone about the “cringe” incident. “This whole country is built on immigrants, and if you stop people from coming into this country who do the jobs that make this country exist and thrive and flourish, who’s going to do all the jobs that you don’t want to do yourself?” she tries again. “It came out so wrong.”

Justice (Taylor’s Version): On January 25, Twitter did something it hadn’t in years: respond to a problem affecting users on the platform. After AI-generated fake pornography of Taylor Swift racked up 24,000 reposts and hundreds of thousands of likes and bookmarks, Twitter suspended both the “verified” account responsible as well as all searches for “Taylor Swift” in an attempt to stop the content from spreading. Even the White House was “alarmed” by the content and told ABC News that Congress “should take legislative action.” It just goes to show if you want something done right, make it about Taylor Swift.

Therapy Me Elmo: Like your average barista, receptionist, or passing acquaintance, Elmo never expected “How are you?” to lead to an actual conversation, let alone a trash-barge-size trauma dump from almost the entirety of America’s online public. On January 29, however, that’s just what he got when the Elmo Twitter account decided to just “check in.” “How is everybody doing?” he asked, which was met with a resounding, “Not well, bitch!” Tens of thousands of quote-tweets later, even the president felt compelled to address the overwhelming despair of his constituents — not that he has anything else going on right now!

💪🕵️‍♀️

+2 Points

You can bring these stories up at the family dinner table, but they would require a backstory and a minor glossary of terms before everyone’s on the same page.

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Thighs (and ears) burning

When Peloton tells you to feel the burn, it means burns both physical and emotional. In his acceptance speech for Best Director at the New York Film Critics Circle Awards on January 3, Christopher Nolan jokingly summarized the current state of film criticism by sharing that while completing a workout, Peloton instructor Jenn Sherman shared her thoughts on Tenet, unaware that its director would later take the class. “Anybody see this shit?” she asks in the “intervals and arms” class from December 28, 2020. “That’s two and a half hours of my life that I want back.”

After viewers found and circulated the clip in question, Sherman addressed the gaff on Instagram: “Listen. It was 2020. It was a dark time,” she said, before offering Nolan an olive branch: “I may not have understood a minute of what was going on in Tenet. That shit went right over my head. But I have seen Oppenheimer twice. And that’s six hours of my life that I don’t ever want to give back.” But in case that isn’t good enough, Sherman also invited him to join her in person for a studio workout that, I can only assume, will be filmed for Imax.

Why It’s a 2: Sherman’s clip ended up receiving over 15 million views on Twitter, and her follow-up another million Instagram Reel views, but it got me no closer to shelling out $1,500 for the bike itself. A heavy piece of workout equipment plus the potential for a personal insult when I least expect it? I’d rather watch Tenet.

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Finstagating

New York’s hottest club is Andrew Scott’s private Instagram. I mean it — who do I have to bribe to be among the lucky 388 followers who are #blessed (Hot Priest pun) with access to what I can only assume are mirror selfies and the tea on whether or not his All of Us Strangers co-star Paul Mescal really does run away from all his London dates? All I know for sure is that Julianne Moore knows the goss, because it was Moore who accidentally leaked the private Instagram on January 9 when she tagged Scott in an Instagram Story from the Golden Globes. On the one hand: Respect Andrew Scott’s privacy. On the other: The next time you make a Finsta, Andrew, I’d recommend making your display name something slightly more covert than checks profile “Andrew Scott.”

Why It’s a 3: While the blunder involves two prestigious actors, it’s no Lorde secret onion-ring account.

🍷💔🃏

+3 Points

Insular online-community news events or temporary main characters who get plucked by the algorithm and placed all over our feeds for a few days before receding back into the shadows. Think: West Elm Caleb.

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Just Joshing

What’s in a name? If it’s Josh, then, well, not a lot — but it’s for that reason that Josh Cellars ended up having a moment on Twitter. After user @OptimusGrind__ posted a photo on January 6 recommending a bottle of Josh Cellars Merlot, his followers were initially perplexed. But it didn’t take long for “why in the world would i buy a bottle of wine named ‘josh’” to evolve into “last night we let the josh talk” before finally reaching indecipherable levels of memery. While the brand has been around since 2007 — the Joshest of all years, in my opinion — it got an unprecedented bump in brand awareness over the past month and has capitalized on it accordingly by chiming in with memes of its own.

“We’re happily surprised with the online attention and have enjoyed following along with the memes that have popped up over the last week,” Dan Kleinman, chief brand officer for Josh Cellars, told Food & Wine. Presumably, the meme will keep evolving until someone, you know, actually tastes the stuff.

Why It’s a 3: Kleinman said it’s too early to tell if Josh’s viral moment led to a meaningful increase in sales, but social-media consultant Rachel Karten has a good guess: The Link in Bio newsletter writer called 15 wine stores to ask about the brand, and four claimed they had sold more of the wine than usual that weekend. So while it’s hard to say if Josh’s success will last beyond its initial Twitter moment, there is good news: It’s always Josh o’clock somewhere.

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Ace of heartbreak

You’re telling me the family vloggers who not once, but twice accidentally uploaded footage showing tension behind the scenes are perhaps not destined for eternal love? In individual Instagram statements, Catherine Paiz and Austin McBroom, who make up the popular Ace Family YouTube account, announced they were getting a divorce. McBroom called the split one of the “hardest decisions” of his life, while Paiz said she was ultimately “liberated” by the choice. The pair share three young children, and while the family had been sharing their lives on YouTube for the past seven years, they hadn’t uploaded on their main channel in seven months — which, in YouTuber years, is basically a lifetime.

Why It’s a 3: The Ace Family’s entire online career has been plagued by controversy and drama about their finances and relationship, so while the split isn’t necessarily surprising, it’s still a significant blow to the 18.4 million subscribers who tuned in. While McBroom is now firmly in “five-point” territory for fumbling Paiz, it’s ultimately a three because maybe now she can rekindle things with her rumored ex-fling … Michael B. Jordan.

🎤🔥🌿💧

+4 Points

Requires a late-night deep dive into the drama going down at a midwestern sorority you have no connection to or an uprising in the Chris Evans fandom — research that will ruin your recommended content for weeks.

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War of the Palworlds

It’s time to Pokémon Go to court. Palworld, first announced in 2021, finally launched on Steam Early Access and Xbox Game Pass on January 19 — to immediate success. This is not just thanks to the Pokémon-style creatures players must collect and raise, but also the fact that these creatures, well, they keep that mf thang on them. However, Palworld’s “Pokémon with guns” reputation might be hitting a little too close to home. In the wake of this success, some worry the similarities between the games stretch beyond homage and into straight plagiarism, with others going as far as to accuse the game creators of using generative AI that relied on Pokémon designs to produce the visuals. Palword, naturally, denies these allegations, but that might just be because off-brand Pikachu is holding them at gunpoint.

Why It’s a 4: Palworld’s success cannot be understated, selling one million copies in the first eight hours alone. However, Pokémon’s response to the controversy? A vague statement that most in the gaming community interpret as nothing more than an obligatory acknowledgment of something they have no intention of getting involved in — the corporate version of “hearting” someone’s text.

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Pookie PDA

@campbellhuntpuckett

When I don’t know what to wear, I always go with all black🖤 #datenight #couple #outfits #hermes

♬ original sound - Campbell Puckett

It’s always “wyd” and never “pilaft” (Pookie is looking absolutely fire tonight). Those are the favorite words of one Jett Puckett, husband and professional fanboy of creator Campbell Puckett. While the pair first went viral back in November for their drastically different date-night outfits — think: those photos of Justin and Hailey Bieber — Jett’s earnest love and support of his wife, Pookie, during their frequent TikTok fit checks ultimately won the internet over. He brings her Chick-fil-A in bed and buys her bouquets with the words “POOKIE” in it — so, naturally, they’ve already been canceled.

Why It’s a 4: While the pair’s videos often get millions of views and have inspired IYKYK discourse across other platforms, the gospel of Pookie is being spread not by the general public, but by a handful of overly invested people whose intense levels of sleuthing would be better if applied toward something that, well, actually matters.

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A wild Spears appears

No sooner had we freed Britney than the pop singer got herself trapped in a department store. No, sorry, actually that’s just Ashley Blue DeFrancesco, a Los Angeles–based singer whose uncanny impression of Spears has earned her millions of views on TikTok.

“You found me,” the videos begin, the cameraman towering over Ashley at the same angle Spears takes her signature Instagram photos. Blue Def spends the next minute or so vocal-riffing and scampering around whatever department store or mall they’re filming in, busting out dance moves and clapping her thighs together aggressively. Ashley’s elaborate vocals combined with the videos’ increasingly jarring antics have commenters raving, “IS THERE ANYONE WORKING AT THIS MALL?

Why It’s a 4: While Ashley would make a convincing Britney Spears doppelgänger on a podcast, visually, these videos have more of a “siblings bored waiting for their mom to finish shopping” vibe. Plus, they seem to happen in some shadow world where employees either don’t mind a full video shoot happening among their store’s clothing racks, or don’t exist.

☠️🐭🏰🎆🏴‍☠️

+5 Points

An incident so layered — one requiring a Fandom.com–level understanding of multiple niche communities and their lore — that it’s as if you’re speaking a different language when explaining it. For that reason, you likely have no one to talk to about it.

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Pirate x Piker

There’s an influencer for everything these days, from slime to Stanley cups, but “Yemeni pirate influencer” is a new one. While there’s no evidence that creator Rashid al-Haddad directly participated in Houthis seizing cargo ships in retaliation for their support of Israel, he’s become the (handsome) face of the rebels. Al-Haddad first went viral on Twitter on January 15 for posting casual thirst traps in the middle of the blockade on the Red Sea (“HOUTHI TWINK SAVE ME,” reads one passionate quote-tweet), and the next day joined Hasan Piker’s Twitch stream to emphasize his support for Palestine. That same day, however, Newsweek reported al-Haddad’s TikTok account was deleted for violating TikTok’s guidelines, which “do not allow anyone to promote or materially support violent or hateful actors.” Arrrrgh!

Why It’s a 5: Most of al-Haddad’s content has already been wiped from TikTok, and while the reposts on Twitter got tens of millions of views, I don’t see “Yemeni pirate influencer” getting its own category at the Streamys anytime soon.

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Disney dating dupe

While comedians Ashley Gill and Grant Gibbs’s video about an app for Disney adult swingers isn’t real, what does it say about Disney adults that so many people on Twitter thought it was true? Their video, all about “Swingers on Main,” is a parody of an actual Disney dating app called “Meet on Main” — swinging not implied, but I’m sure optional. Outside of the context of TikTok, which is familiar with Ashley and Grant’s antics, Twitter — or, at least, people who pay for Twitter check marks — took the video at face value on January 15, generating an entire day of useless outrage. Don’t you have better things, like a hot Yemeni pirate, to pay attention to?

Why It’s a 5: While I’m sure Disney swingers exist — and more power to them — I’m embarrassed for even the fraction of people who fell for such low-hanging fruit. And you say Disney adults are the ones who need to grow up???

So, how online were you?

0–15 POINTS: Kinda plugged in.
Whoever comes for Taylor Swift has to go through you, and you’d be boycotting Twitter right now had you not forgotten your password a long, long time ago. You’re mad at 10-year-olds at Sephora but have spent no less than $50 on accessories for your Stanley cup. You might want to invest in “Lead Test Kit” accessory, BTW.

16–30 POINTS: Above-averagely online. 
You just so happened to be in the same Peloton class as Christopher Nolan, but also have no idea WTF went down in Tenet. You’re much too busy dissecting the timeline of the Ace Family divorce, and you bring a sort of “sending incessant Daylist screenshots” vibe to the group chat that exhausted members have been meaning to text you privately about.

31–44 POINTS: Irreparably internet damaged.
You already knew about Andrew Scott’s Finsta, and have sworn a deep allegiance to one side of the Nicki vs. Megan beef — although I won’t say which here out of fear of being doxed. Your Swingers on Main dating-app profile currently reads, “Looking for the Jett to my Pookie.”

The Memes Were Looking Absolutely Fire in January