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Mental Health Monday: East Tennessee psychologist explains how to deal with 'empty nest syndrome'

Mental health experts say graduation season can be a complicated time for parents whose children are moving away.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Graduation season is usually a proud time for parents, but it can also come with feelings of sadness and loneliness if your children will be moving away. This is what some mental health experts call the "empty nest syndrome."

Dr. Nicole A. Perez, a clinical psychologist in Knoxville, said it is complicated because it involves change. She said humans are naturally "creatures of habit," so big changes like these tend to come with stress and anxiety.

However, Dr. Perez told 10News she does not love the idea of calling this situation an empty nest.

"I was thinking about birds," she added. "They build a nest, they lay some eggs, they sit on them, they fly, and then they start the cycle all over again. Well, humans do not get to do that, right? So it is not like you start the cycle all over again, lay some more eggs and hatch some more eggs."

The psychologist said parents should look at this as a chance to pivot. She described it as an opportunity to engage with your children in a different way, a way she said can be very fulfilling.

"These are adults now with their own ideas and they are going to be challenged in their own ways and build their own philosophies," Dr. Perez explained. "If a parent can understand that, they can now shift into a more meaningful relationship with their children or more mutual relationship with their children. They might even be excited about the transition."

Dr. Perez said parents should trust that their children are going to be okay and that the job they did as parents was enough. However, she did recognize that is easier said than done.

"We (parents) are worried that they are going to suffer, that they are going to make mistakes, that things are not going to work out for them," she commented. "So, you know what? I will save you the suspense. I tell all my parents all those things will happen because they happen to all of us."

They key, she said, is in being there for them when they need parental support.

"Just check in on them, that they are okay if they are not calling that much," she added. "But, you know, trust that you have done your job, because it is a beautiful job. If you did your job, they are just flying around."

Dr. Perez said this transition period can also be a beautiful time for parents to reconnect with parts of themselves that they have put to the side to focus on raising their children.

This story is part of our Mental Health Monday series, where we raise awareness on issues millions of people face every day.

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