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Wikipedia:Peer review/Max Payne (film)/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to get this to GA Status. It probably needs a copy edit and I would like suggestions/contributions to expand the article.

Thanks, PeppageBRAINS! 17:55, 28 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]


I'm not the right person to review this article: I'm no expert. But I did make some copy edits and I do have some comments.
first, your sentences are very long, with confusion of pronouns and names -- who does what to whom and when... that sort of thing. I fixed a few of them, but I wasn't sure about who was actually doing what.
second, at the very end something about Nicole comes in, and I'm totally baffled by her. Where did she come from and what role does she play? She has to be introduced earlier so we get a sense of the multiple levels of betrayal involved here.
third, I find the duplicating use of footnotes confusing. Several footnotes for the same source. This may be a standard in wp, and possibly I'm just a fuddy duddy. However, I do have problems figuring out what and who and where given that kind of citation.
fourth, general question: is this a revenge film? does it fit that kind of genre? All these classic archetypes have a theme (i.e., revenge, greed, love, hate). Is this a classic revenge story, or is it something else? I would want to know that up front.--Auntieruth55 (talk) 21:54, 8 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]