Clutter & Catharsis: A Thoughtful Approach to Decluttering

Many of us feel deep connections to our stuff — we see our collections and curations as extensions of ourselves.

As sentimental people, we are often forced to come to grips with our overabundance of “things.” Inspired by popular TV shows like Tidying Up with Marie Kondo and Hoarders, as well as social media influencers and their cleverly marketed shelves and organizers, we often feel like organizing is a simple, easy way to solve our clutter problem forever.

Decluttering or downsizing is just as much emotional work as it is physical — especially as we grow into older adulthood.

Note: This article first appeared as a feature story by Desiree Schippers in the recent North Shore Senior Center Engage Magazine and LifeLong Learning Catalog May-August 2024.

Whether you are planning a move, acknowledging that you are not going to live forever, or are simply overwhelmed by your stuff, there are actual psychological reasons for the urge to leave clutter behind. Studies have shown that clutter has been linked to higher levels of cortisol, stress, anxiety, and decreased levels of cognitive function.

Overly cluttered homes are also linked to poor eating habits and diminished mental health and can pose a serious fall risk. Whether you have been in your space for five years or fifty, ensuring our homes are free from clutter can be crucial for our health and general well-being.

First Steps

The first step in true, sustainable decluttering is to evaluate yourself emotionally. Without judgment, honestly ask yourself why you ‘re holding on to your stuff. Could it be out of grief, either for a loved one or a past version of your life? Is it a concern about legacy? Are you worried your stories, or those of your parents and grandparents might get lost in time?

An essential part of this process is to absolve yourself of guilt, both from accumulating clutter in the first place and getting rid of previously meaningful things. Strong emotions around change, grief, and whatever has led you here are valid.

Sit with and acknowledge these emotions, then give yourself permission to move on at your own pace. If you feel like your attachment or emotional pain when parting with your things has taken over your life or is too difficult to manage on your own, it might be time to seek support, either professionally or from a close friend or family member.

If you feel that counseling could be the right path for you, NSSC has licensed counselors who specialize in the unique challenges of older adulthood. For more information, email [email protected] or call 847.424.5672.

What’s Next?

The next step is to narrow down which of your possessions are the most meaningful to you. Beyond sparing your loved ones from the hassle of sorting through clutter in your absence, this empowers you to be decisive about your legacy, sharing the priceless stories and memories each item represents. In essence, the goal is to pass down stories, rather than mountains of stuff.

Hoarding and Decluttering Expert

Matt Paxton has popularized the concept of a “legacy list.” This is a list of five to six items that are most meaningful to you, or that are important pieces of your family history. The goal is to share the stories behind the items before they are passed down.

You can write the stories, or better yet, gather with your loved ones for “story sessions,” where you tell them about the items and the people who created or owned them. After my great-grandparents passed, we came across stacks of old sheet music in a corner of their basement.

To me, it was just that—old sheet music that we should throw out. But when my grandfather saw it, he told me that his grandmother used to play piano in movie theaters for silent films and this was her music. Suddenly, sheet music went from a pile of recycling to rich family history.

Getting Down to Business

Finally, we are on to the meat of it: physically going through your home and decluttering. Matt recommends starting small, rather than having a weekend-long sorting extravaganza. The goal is to turn decluttering into a meaningful everyday habit, rather than a grueling, hours-long task.

He recommends blocking off small chunks of time — 15 minutes or less — and to begin with something manageable, like a single drawer, or stack of papers. Set a timer, work for 15 minutes, then move on with your day.

As you begin the physical process, it is best to create four different categories: keep, donate, trash, and sell. Many of us get ambitious with selling, clinging to wild dreams of eBay riches, without realizing the time and energy it takes to sell things online, as well as how devastating it can be to see your prized collections sell for a much lower price than you had imagined.

For some people, it can be more emotionally fulfilling to donate collections to their community.

There are many great nonprofits in the Chicago area that accept donations, including NSSC’s very own Shop at the Center. The Shop accepts items such as jewelry, collectibles, designer home goods, and puzzles but cannot accept furniture, computers, electronics, clothing, and shoes.

You can donate new or gently used items on weekdays between 9 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. Shop at the Center is located at North Shore Senior Center, Arthur J. Nielsen, Jr. Campus, 161 Northfield Road, Northfield.

Need Help?

If you have issues with hoarding or are unable to physically deal with your clutter, North Shore Senior Center’s housing specialist can help connect you to community resources. Call 847.242.6235 or email [email protected] for assistance.

Regardless of where you are in your decluttering journey, it is likely to be an emotional experience. Whether you are reflecting on your life, reckoning with a recent loss or disability, or are feeling held back by your possessions, you are not alone.

Seek support if you need it and remember that your legacy and self-worth lie within you, your loved ones, and your stories, rather than in your stuff.

Content Sources: “5 Reasons Why Clutter Disrupts Mental Health,” Psychology Today; “Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff: Declutter, Downsize, and Move Forward with Your Life,” by Matt Paxton.