After 40 Years, Long Island Woman Loses Forever Love: 'I Wasn't Ready'

NORTH FORK, NY — Back in 2014, Anne Trimble, owner of Trimble's of Corchaug Nursery in Cutchogue, welcomed girls from the Butterfly Effect Project, giving a presentation on how to grow and pot plants and also, explaining photosynthesis and the wonders of nature.

The girls, who ranged in age from 5 to 14, many of whom had never had a garden or experienced the feeling of warm soil on their hands, took home plants for their moms for Mother's Day. As she gently knelt behind each child, Trimble shared tips not just for gardening, but for life — tips about patience and the importance of nurturing, of tending carefully to the things you love.

The girls watched, enchanted, as Trimble released a butterfly into the sky, symbolizing the own wings they were given to explore the flowers and plants and the inherent joy of nature that day.

When Trimble died Dec. 27 at 70, she left behind a devastated North Fork community. Trimble, who gave back quietly and with kindness for decades, was loved beyond measure by her neighbors, customers, friends, and community.

But no one loved Trimble more than her wife Nancy Leskody, with whom she shared a lifetime that spanned four decades and will undoubtedly shine on through eternity.

Speaking with Patch, Leskody described the insidious cancer that stole her forever love. "It was very fast," she said.

In late August, Trimble began experiencing pain and thought she had shingles, since she'd had them before, Leskody said. Because she also had rheumatoid arthritis, Trimble saw her normal physician, who ordered chest X-rays and a sonogram.

The news that followed was agonizing

"He told us she had cancer," Leskody said. The cancer was in her lungs, on her spine; there were lesions on her brain. "It was awful — just awful," Leskody said.

Despite the grim diagnosis, there was hope, at first. Trimble underwent radiation and chemotherapy for weeks — but her condition worsened.

"She couldn't walk, couldn't talk very well," Leskody said. After Trimble's third chemotherapy, she was suffering, so Leskody called 911 and brought her to the hospital.

From there, the outlook became more bleak. "She got COVID, and then she got pneumonia," Leskody said. "It just didn't stop. It was one thing after another."

Trimble and Leskody thought the next step was rehab — and then they heard the words they never wanted to believe.

"I hadn't wanted to go down that dark road," Leskody said. "I thought maybe things would get better in rehab. But she was just too weak. And we were told that it was time for hospice care."

The hospice workers cared for Trimble for about two weeks. "Then, on December 27, she just couldn't move at all, she couldn't walk, she couldn't talk. It was horrible."

During her last hours, Trimble was surrounded by her relatives and many, many friends. "A lot of people were here, and we were just trying to hang with her, to talk to her — she couldn't talk but she could still hear. And so we were all talking and she was just napping and then, she just stopped breathing. It was very peaceful."

But for Leskody, the fog of grief was heavy. "I wasn't ready at all," she said. "I thought I was, really. But I wasn't ready."

The hospice staff had warned Leskody that it wouldn't be long, that Trimble did not have much time. "They told me to stay with her, and thank God, I was there when she died," she said.

She is grateful that so many people were together in their home when she lost her love. "It was so much easier to be with people, with our family, than alone," she said.

Losing her life's partner has been an unthinkable tragedy, Leskody said.

"She made me a better person," she said. "I just miss her so much."

She added: "I have to say, I wasn't always the easiest person to get along with. But she was always so forgiving to me. She always told me, 'It's all right to feel the way you feel.' She always calmed me down and made me feel so much love from her."

Her voice breaking, Leskody said: "I just don’t know what I’m going to do without her. We’ve been together for so long. We were together more than 40 years."

Although they'd shared a lifetime, they were only married recently, on October 23. Although they'd been planning the marriage for some time, they needed to work out details. "Finally, I said to her, 'I really want to do this. I don't want you to leave — and we haven't done this. Because this needs to be a part of our relationship. We've been together for so long, it's not right, not to be married."

They shared a beautiful service with just friends in their living room. Although she wasn't feeling well that day, Trimble got up, experienced the wedding both had waited so long for.

Looking back on their relationship, Leskody remembered Trimble's love of children, her innate kindness.

"Everywhere we went, she'd strike up a conversation with people. We always had such a good time, talking to people we didn't even know. She just helped spread the love and helped me to spread the love, too."

The couple enjoyed trips to Mexico, Switzerland, England, and upstate.

"We haven’t been without each other for a day. We were always together," Leskody said. "It’s really hard lately."

Losing her own mother, who died at 101, was difficult, because they were very close, Leskody said. "But this is 500 times worse."

Trimble, who grew up in Pascoag, Rhode Island, graduated with a degree in horticulture from the University of Rhode Island; her first job was working at the children's garden at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, followed by a position at Tavern on the Green, Leskody said; she was the one who planted hundreds of white impatiens around the iconic Central Park eatery.

When the two met, Leskody had been working as a waitress and Trimble had a small company.

"We just clicked right away," she said. "She was just an amazing person. I had never met a person so kind as she was, before in my life. When I met her, things were so much more beautiful."

Trimble, Leskody said, changed her forever.

"She gave me hope to have a different life. I was a waitress in a dead-end job and not doing very well. But she turned me on to plants. I really love plants. She told me, 'We can do this. We can have a business together.'"

One day the two were traveling out to see Leskody's mother in Cutchogue and they passed the former Parisi's Nursery on Main Road in Cutchogue; there was a greenhouse, and together, they envisioned the future.

They found partners and borrowed from their parents and bought the nursery in 1991. "It was more than we could afford by ourselves back then," Leskody said. "We started working at Trimble's; it was just the two of us in the beginning. I stayed at nursery and Anne went out and did landscaping. We just kept plugging along."

Throughout her life, Trimble was passionate about giving a voice to the voiceless, speaking out for the immigrant community, who she said were critical to the North Fork canvas at a "Synergy" meeting in Greenport in 2017.

In business today for 32 years, they've created an iconic North Fork destination for those hoping to brighten their lives with flowers and plants. "Our accountant says we are very good businesswomen," Leskody said.

The two share North Fork values, through and through. "We do business with people on a handshake," Leskody said. "We say, 'Send us a bill,' and we pay it."

They've also found great joy in giving back, in donating to local causes and school events. "It wasn't always for the other people, it was for us, too," Leskody said. "We wanted to see the community look well and be healthy — plants help the community to be healthy. In order to be part of the community, you have to give back. It gave us pleasure."

And in her darkest hour, it is that same community that has wrapped Leskody in warmth and love, giving her the strength to face the unimaginable.

"Neighbors have been leaving food. Customers have been texting, calling. We live in a wonderful community," she said. "Without this community — our neighbors, family and friends — I don't think I could have gotten through this."

Services for Anne Trimble will be held at the DeFriest-Gratten Funeral Home, located at 13805 Main Road in Mattituck, on January 7 from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. to 9 p.m.

"In lieu of flowers, Anne would be really happy to know that donations were made to:www.northforkanimalwelfareleague.org, the Greenport Village Tree Committe, or any animal, environmental or conservation organization," her family said.