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Customer Review
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2017
if you're prone to be a helicopter parent. If you're not, then I would say read it anyway so you can see where other parents might be approaching parenting. It pretty much fits in with other parenting books I've read such as "How Children Succeed" by Paul Tough, and "Grit" by Angela Duckworth.
As with any parenting book, how useful you find it depends on what you're already doing. One of the examples that the author uses in the book is that of a kid forgetting his/her lunch at home. If you "rescue" the kid by driving his lunch to school, then there's no motivation for him to remember it in the future. Got it! When I was a kid and I forgot my lunch at home, I was not then able to concentrate at school for fear of my mother's reaction when I got home. She needed to "teach me a lesson" by shaming me for forgetting it, cussing me out, turning it into a moral issue, and giving me the silent treatment for several days. When that's the consequence for forgetting a lunch, then going hungry for a day seems trivial. In fact, it would be less stressful to simply declare that I'm no longer bringing lunch to school anymore so that I can't possibly forget it again, and protect myself from a bipolar parent's mood swings. But some parents can't even let their kids go hungry for the day, even though suffering the consequence's of one's behavior doesn't even feel like punishment. If you had a parent like mine, you would hardly need to read this book, and yet I would recommend it so you can understand what other people's parents are doing.
My kid is 2 now. I pretty much let him learn from experience, although I outright ban dangerous and unhygienic behaviors. This book pretty much reinforces my approach anyway.
As with any parenting book, how useful you find it depends on what you're already doing. One of the examples that the author uses in the book is that of a kid forgetting his/her lunch at home. If you "rescue" the kid by driving his lunch to school, then there's no motivation for him to remember it in the future. Got it! When I was a kid and I forgot my lunch at home, I was not then able to concentrate at school for fear of my mother's reaction when I got home. She needed to "teach me a lesson" by shaming me for forgetting it, cussing me out, turning it into a moral issue, and giving me the silent treatment for several days. When that's the consequence for forgetting a lunch, then going hungry for a day seems trivial. In fact, it would be less stressful to simply declare that I'm no longer bringing lunch to school anymore so that I can't possibly forget it again, and protect myself from a bipolar parent's mood swings. But some parents can't even let their kids go hungry for the day, even though suffering the consequence's of one's behavior doesn't even feel like punishment. If you had a parent like mine, you would hardly need to read this book, and yet I would recommend it so you can understand what other people's parents are doing.
My kid is 2 now. I pretty much let him learn from experience, although I outright ban dangerous and unhygienic behaviors. This book pretty much reinforces my approach anyway.
