Her Every Fear: A Novel
4/5
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About this ebook
An NPR Best Book of the Year
The author of the wildly popular The Kind Worth Killing returns with an electrifying and downright Hitchcockian psychological thriller—as tantalizing as the cinema classics Rear Window and Wait Until Dark—involving a young woman caught in a vise of voyeurism, betrayal, manipulation, and murder.
The danger isn’t all in your head . . .
Growing up, Kate Priddy was always a bit neurotic, experiencing momentary bouts of anxiety that exploded into full blown panic attacks after an ex-boyfriend kidnapped her and nearly ended her life. When Corbin Dell, a distant cousin in Boston, suggests the two temporarily swap apartments, Kate, an art student in London, agrees, hoping that time away in a new place will help her overcome the recent wreckage of her life.
But soon after her arrival at Corbin’s grand apartment on Beacon Hill, Kate makes a shocking discovery: his next-door neighbor, a young woman named Audrey Marshall, has been murdered. When the police question her about Corbin, a shaken Kate has few answers, and many questions of her own—curiosity that intensifies when she meets Alan Cherney, a handsome, quiet tenant who lives across the courtyard, in the apartment facing Audrey’s. Alan saw Corbin surreptitiously come and go from Audrey’s place, yet he’s denied knowing her. Then, Kate runs into a tearful man claiming to be the dead woman’s old boyfriend, who insists Corbin did the deed the night that he left for London.
When she reaches out to her cousin, he proclaims his innocence and calms her nerves . . . until she comes across disturbing objects hidden in the apartment—and accidently learns that Corbin is not where he says he is. Could Corbin be a killer? And what about Alan? Kate finds herself drawn to this appealing man who seems so sincere, yet she isn’t sure. Jetlagged and emotionally unstable, her imagination full of dark images caused by the terror of her past, Kate can barely trust herself . . . So how could she take the chance on a stranger she’s just met?
Yet the danger Kate imagines isn’t nearly as twisted and deadly as what’s about to happen. When her every fear becomes very real.
And much, much closer than she thinks.
Told from multiple points of view, Her Every Fear is a scintillating, edgy novel rich with Peter Swanson’s chilling insight into the darkest corners of the human psyche and virtuosic skill for plotting that has propelled him to the highest ranks of suspense, in the tradition of such greats as Gillian Flynn, Paula Hawkins, Patricia Highsmith, and James M. Cain.
Peter Swanson
Peter Swanson is the New York Times bestselling author of The Kind Worth Killing, winner of the New England Society Book Award and finalist for the CWA Ian Fleming Steel Dagger; Her Every Fear, an NPR book of the year; and Eight Perfect Murders, a New York Times bestseller, among others. His books have been translated into 30 languages. He lives on the North Shore of Massachusetts, where he is at work on his next novel.
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Reviews for Her Every Fear
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What our readers think
Readers find this title to be a great read with many twists and turns that keep them interested. The book is fast-moving, well-written, and engrossing. It has a lot of gripping moments that had readers on the edge of their seat. The premise is great and the execution is excellent. Overall, readers highly recommend this book and are looking forward to reading more from the author.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Neurotic, anxiety-ridden Kate Priddy, subject to panic attacks following her long-ago kidnapping, trades apartments with her cousin, Corbin Dell, and moves to Boston for six months while Corbin takes up residence in her London flat.But the murder of Audrey Marshall, in her home right next door to Corbin’s apartment, leaves Kate shaken and wary. There’s neighbor Alan Cherney with his own secrets, a suddenly-appearing cat, and her own fears, all combining to keep her on edge. Then Audrey’s tearful . . . and unsettling . . . boyfriend claims Corbin is the murder.When Kate accidentally discovers that Corbin is not where he says he is, and she finds some disturbing things in his apartment, she begins to wonder if her cousin could be the killer. Or perhaps it was Alan? Or the brokenhearted boyfriend? Kate doesn’t know where to place her trust . . . and it may cost her everything.Well-drawn characters populate this psychological thriller that is strong on character development. Kate, Corbin, Alan, and Audrey’s maybe-boyfriend take turns telling the tale, a conveyance that has an unfortunate tendency to rehash the same events as each character takes on the role of narrator. While this allows for some surprising epiphanies, it also has the effect of stopping the forward motion of the story. Nevertheless, with unexpected plot twists and unforeseen revelations, there is enough suspense to keep the tension building, even if Kate’s repeated reiteration of her fears grows a bit wearisome as the story progresses. Astute readers will identify the final twists before their reveals, but the narrative’s pedestrian ending is likely to disappoint.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5‘Her Every Fear’ started strongly but unfortunately petered out at the conclusion, not due to a lack action as much as an absence of believability. Just an opinion on my part, but the turnabout of one of the key characters doesn’t pass the smell test.This novel asks an interesting question: what if 2 clean cut young men conspire to commit a seemingly unsolvable murder, decide to do it again, but then one of them opts out? The story line’s an interesting one, the writing is strong, the characters are decently drawn, and the pacing is good. As mentioned previously, my problem is with the behavioral change in one of the murderers. I won’t go any further to avoid spoiling the conclusion, but judge for yourself. It’s a very worthwhile read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Peter Swanson had me very entwined with these characters and I am unsure exactly how that happened. This wasn't a particular topic I really wanted to read about at the time but I certainly became completely absorbed and kept postponing "daily life" as to finish this suspense. I quite like the female lead was written to have had a traumatic experience but she keeps trying to become strong and independent even so. Nice. Her nightmares were understandable and I also quite like that they came across well..nightmarish, not making sense and the one with statement about George's teeth in the nightmare...well done! That gave me the creeps in daylight!
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Scary, gory and disturbing tale of serial killers in a post Boston neighborhood. High-end commercial- writing is good but not great, too much blather and backstory but overall a page-turner for sure.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Second of Swanson's novels I have read and enjoyed. Suspense/thriller category though it doesn't have you on the edge of your seat. The two intertwined stories are compelling and I found myself having feelings for the characters. Almost couldn't put it down!
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This book was very disappointing. I really enjoyed The Kind Worth Killing and The Girl with a Clock for a Heart, but this book devolved into a serial killer thriller, and I was not pleased by this. The author's previous books were excellent, twisty thrillers in which you couldn't tell what would come next. In contrast, in this book the villain became obvious very early on and from then on there were no surprises.Kate, suffering from ptsd after surviving an assault from a former boyfriend, exchanges apartments with her second cousin Corbin because he has a temporary job in London and she thinks it would be good to spend some time away in Boston. As soon as Kate arrives in Boston, it turns out that Audrey, Corbin's next door neighbor, has been murdered. Kate also encounters Alan, a creepy peeping tom, and Jack, Audrey's creepy ex boyfriend. Added to that mix is Corbin, who had a secret relationship with Audrey, and Henry, an old friend of Corbin's who is just generally creepy. Obviously, there are 4 suspects - narrowed down to one pretty quickly.I don't like thrillers where the motivating factor of the perpetrator is that they're crazy. It just seems lazy. That's one of the reasons I avoid serial killer plots. Also, Kate is an idiot with such awful taste in men that I have no hope for her. I was expecting more from this book and I hope the author does better next time.I listened to the audiobook and I don't think the narrator did a particularly good job with either the English accents or the male voices.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Kate Priddy was almost killed by an ex-boyfriend. Now she has bouts of anxiety that could lead up to panic attacks. When a distant cousin from Boston, Corbin Dell, suggests they swap apartments for six months Kate agrees in the hopes that time away will do more good than harm for her. But after arriving to her new apartment on Beacon Hill, Kate learns that the young woman next door has been murdered. When the police question Kate about Corbin, she has few answers since she doesn't personally know him but has many questions of her own. After meeting another tenant in the building named Alan and a tearful friend of the victim outside the building named Jack, her curiosity is piqued. Did Corbin do it? She emails Corbin, who insists he did not murder his neighbour; he barely knew her. But after coming across objects that link him to the victim, she wonders if Corbin is in fact a liar and murderer.
A compulsive, easy-to-read, well-written, suspenseful book. Not a whole lot happens, it's more character-driven with characters that are real and believable. The only disappointment for me was the ending. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This author's specialty is starting out with damaged characters and having them inflict even more damage. He ably speaks in the voices of women and men, and just as in his earlier "The Kind Worth Killing", his familiarity with local Boston landmarks (in this case, a sumptuous vintage apartment building on Beacon Hill) renders the stories particularly comfortable for local residents. This novel focuses on Kate, who was previously the victim of a hostage taking by a former boyfriend back in England. She exchanges apartments with her cousin Corbin, who leaves Beacon Hill for London, and who has some pretty horrible activity in his own past. The plot motors along, with reveals at appropriate places. Another good read, if not pretty creepy.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Not bad. The protagonist, Kate Priddy, is a nervous, anxious person who believes bad things are always going to happen to her. In her need to get out of England for awhile, she switches apartments with her cousin Corbin, only to discover that the next door neighbor has been murdered. Did Corbin do it? Some unexpected twists and suspense. Creates some nervous tension in the reader, but not quite enough. That being said, I enjoyed reading the tale and would read this author again.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Just how unlucky can one woman be? Kate Priddy crosses paths with two psychopaths, a murderer and another probable bad choice at the end. It seems pretty implausible to me. I gave it 3 stars because it did hold my interest, even while I was scratching my head.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Kate Priddy suffers from anxiety. Neurotic since childhood, her recent fears have good reason: in college, Kate was attacked in a horrific incident by her boyfriend. It's taken Kate years to recover from that day. So when her parents tell her that her distant cousin, Corbin Dell, is looking to move to London and wants someone to switch apartments with for six months, Kate jumps at the chance. Six months in Corbin's spacious apartment will give her a chance to start her life over on her own. But shortly after arriving in Boston, Kate receives some unsettling news: the woman who lived down the hall, Audrey, is missing. She soon discovers that Audrey was murdered. Even worse, she realizes that Corbin is a suspect in Audrey's death. As Kate tries to adjust to life in Boston, she meets another fellow apartment-dweller, Alan Cherney. Alan claims he didn't know Audrey, but he seems to know a lot about her. Kate suddenly regrets her temporary move to the States, and soon she finds herself wondering if she's even safe there.
This novel was the first Swanson I've ever read. It starts off from Kate's perspective, but switches over after a couple of chapters to Alan, and we hear from Corbin and others throughout the story as well. While doing this, the story sometimes double backs to get the same perspective from a different character. While it's effective in showing different sides to one plot element, it seems to drag the story on, and make things repeat unnecessarily. I enjoyed the character of Kate, though couldn't always find myself attached to her. She was probably my favorite of the group, though. For me, I found some bits of the plot a little over the top (the list of things that have happened to Kate seems extreme, for example).
I guessed a good part of the mystery plot early on, but was still confounded by other pieces, so I did find it interesting, and it certainly had creepy pieces. Still, I wasn't incredibly invested in this one -- either the plot or the characters. Things just seemed a little "too much" at times, and then by the time we did get to the dramatic ending, it tied up really quickly, which was a little anticlimactic. Overall, this was a good thriller, but not great.
I received a copy of this novel from the publisher and Edelweiss (thank you!); it is available as of 1/10/2017. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Kate Priddy is still recovering from her kidnapping at the hands of an ex-boyfriend, and an apartment swap with her distant cousin seems like the ideal way to get away from it all. Traveling from London to Boston, Kate hopes this is the key to getting over her fears. But when her new next-door neighbor is murdered, Kate realizes her fears may be hitting all too close to home.This is a book full of twists and turns, and some highly creepy characters. In fact, this is a really creepy book, one of those eerie ones that has you second-guessing everything you're reading. There's a part towards the end that is downright terrifying.Swanson is constantly turning what you think you know on its head, which is something I really appreciate in any mystery or thriller I'm reading.The last third of the book feels too rushed. Swanson has done a great job building up all this nail-biting suspense, and then everything just kind of happens at once. Everything that happens is creepy, and surprising, but it all gets a bit mushed together, and seems less plausible, due to the speed at which the plotting suddenly moves.I really enjoyed The Kind Worth Killing, and thought it was absolutely brilliant, especially the way Swanson expertly flipped around everything readers were taking for granted in his story. He does something similar here, but not to the same effect. Her Every Fear would have benefited from a few extra pages, and some time to let Swanson's great twists really sing.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I don't normally read thrillers, and I've never read any of Swanson's previous work, so I had no idea what to expect from this novel. The chapters show a variety of perspectives, but the most prominent voice is Kate Priddy, a British woman with some serious anxiety issues, who is attempting to regain control over her life after being kidnapped by a possessive ex-boyfriend. To this end, she agrees to a six month apartment swap with an American cousin she's never met, and the book begins with her attempting to stave off a panic attack after getting caught in a traffic jam in a tunnel on her way to her cousin's Boston apartment. When she wakes on her first morning in the States, Kate learns that the young woman who lives in the apartment next to her cousin's has been murdered.I think having an anxious main character was an interesting choice for a thriller- I feel like it made it a bit harder to tell whether things were actually happening, or if her anxiety was causing her to overthink things, to imagine things. Kate's vivid imagination helped with that too. I did feel like a chunk of the plot was pretty implausible, and I'd guessed who the murderer was pretty early on. I think my biggest critiques would be that Kate seems to subsist entirely on bread and cheese for days on end without any impact on her energy, and that the introduction of some characters' perspectives come in so late just to impart specific information that it feels like a bit of a cop-out.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Never having read any of Peter Swanson's books I didn't know what to expect. This book had me hooked from the very first page. The story was gripping and kept me on the edge of my seat. I can see this book made into a great movie.I'm not a psychological thriller fan but there was something about the blurb that made me want to try this book and I'm glad I did. The characters were well developed and the story was well written. I highly recommend this book.I won a free copy of this book from Goodreads and voluntarily chose to write a review.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Kate suffers from crippling anxiety, a disorder that exploded after a terrifying incident at the hands of an ex-boyfriend. After her cousin Corbin, a cousin whom she has never met, takes a job in London , they agree to exchange apartments, which will bring Kate to the states,,and an opportunity for a new start, The night she moves into Corbin's gorgeous apartment, a young woman is found murdered in the apartment next door.While this book was fast paced, caused me to shudder many times, it also caused me to roll my eyes. I found some this book, implausible, overkill, I mean how many psychopaths can be found in one young woman's life? Plus, I found many of Kate's actions did not make sense for a person suffering a severe anxiety disorder. Still, if you are looking for a creepy read, this one is that. Just leave your inner critic at home.ARC from publisher.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This was another great mystery from Peter Swanson. It's the story of two cousins, Kate who lives in England and Corbin who lives in Boston, who decide to swap apartments for 6 months. Both are dealing with personal issues they are trying to escape. Shortly after Kate arrives in Boston, the girl who lives in the apartment across from Corbin's is found murdered. From there the mystery begins to unfold - I don't want to give anymore away. If you are looking for a good mystery, you won't be disappointed. I won an ARC of this book from Goodreads.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I thought the premise was great and it was executed well. I was terrified along with Kate in the final confrontation.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Excellent book: fast-moving, with a lot of twists and turns, and extremely gripping. Couldn’t keep my eyes off the book.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5A great read with many twists and turns to keep one interested.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Some parts literally had me on the edge of my seat. You were able to feel the anxiety Kate felt in some instances as well. GREAT read!!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Definitely a wothwhile read. It kept me entertained and I am usually quite a critical reader.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Well written and engrossing. Second book . Will read more.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It's an original spin of the attention-gripping story of Peter Swanson. It is not unusual that there are some psychopaths walk among us everyday. Superficially they are just like us but we have to be wary every now and then even with the people that (we thought) we have known them very well. The story started out good and keep one on edge through most of the time... however, it's kinda of wrap up too brief and too soon toward the end of the story. Nonetheless, it's entertaining and a good read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I love these kinds of stories where there’s a twist with a horrible villain that’s rotten to the core. There’s plenty of mystery and the creep factor is definitely there throughout the book. What I liked about the book was the mood and the way it’s written. The element of mystery is excellent. You’re even doubting Kate and questioning her sanity because of certain events in the book. When you realize it’s all real the creep factor greatly increases.The characters in this book are well done. You do feel for Corbin but at the same time, he brought it upon himself. (Doesn’t anyone just TALK about it anymore? It’s all about just lashing out and getting revenge???!!) And Henry, he’s just a special character all in his own group. I’ve read some pretty hateful characters...but Henry’s pretty high up on the list. He’s got some pretty serious issues and he’s overall a pretty unlikable character. But, to his credit he’s devious. Devious to the point where he could be a runner for villain of the year. His planning and methods were crafty and calculating. Imagining having someone like Henry in your vicinity is enough to get the hairs on your arms rise. The plot was well done and flowing nicely. There is also a good amount of backstory throughout the novel so it helps you understand the actions and behavior of the characters, and that’s what I really enjoyed the most of this book. The climax of the novel was also very well done and everything comes to a perfect closing towards the end.Two things that irked me in this book; Kate and Alan. Alan’s creepy in his own way (harmless creep) but a creep nevertheless. He’s awkward and not that likable but then again, Kate’s choices aren’t really that stellar anyway (not her fault). Another thing; I have no idea why the author had to be so descriptive to the point as to describe *exactly* what novel Kate’s reading, what type of music Alan is listening to, etc. Are you trying to name drop? To advertise? It was to the point where it got annoying - perhaps it’s because I’ve had bad experiences with this type of writing so I’m thinking that’s why it stands out and irked me. Next time, no need to advertise? Please?Greatly recommended for thriller lovers! You got a good villain to hate here!
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- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A special thank you to Edelweiss and William Morrow for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Hearing great things about Swanson's previous works I was excited to get my hands on this book but it fell a little flat for me. There was so much more that could've been done to to really flesh out the main character — she has a pivotal life event in her backstory that seemed to be disconnected, again Swanson falls down connecting this to the character. This is a life-changing event that should really define who she is and the whole thing felt weak and was just filler.
The ending and most of the book is predictable, I wanted suspense and where's the twist? I had it all figured out.
A good premise, but that's it. I will definitely check out his other works, I haven't given up on him yet. - Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5In February of 2016, I was on a lovely family vacation in Hawai’i. On this trip I brought a number of books, one of which was Peter Swanson’s “The Kind Worth Killing” (I reviewed it on this blog here). I read that book in the span of about one day, sitting on a Lanai on Kauai and devouring it ravenously. In February of 2017, I was in St. Cloud, Minnesota, sitting in the Stearns County Courthouse and waiting for my husband to finish up judging a Mock Trial competition. Perhaps not as glamorous of a setting, but I brought Peter Swanson’s book “Her Every Fear”. It was almost a year to the day later. And boy, did I devour this one as well.The thing about Peter Swanson’s thrillers is that he has a knack for completely making you question everything, and taking the reader by complete surprise. Much like in “The Kind Worth Killing”, there is a moment in “Her Every Fear” where the game completely changes, and I had to set the book down for a moment and try and regroup after the big reveal. But before I talk more about the plot, I want to talk about the characters in this book, specifically Kate and Alan. I really, really appreciated how Swanson portrayed Kate and her anxiety disorder/PTSD. As someone who also has an anxiety disorder, I thought that he captured the constant, if not usually mild, fears that just kind of plague you in your day to day life, be it intrusive thoughts, or the feeling that something awful is going to happen even if there is no reason to believe so. In a lot of books like this this could be used as a character flaw to show just how broken she is, but with Kate there is nothing but sympathy for her and what she went through in her past. Alan is a character I had a harder time wrapping my head around, as he’s someone who is definitely a little bit off, mentally. I don’t want to spoil anything because there are so many reveals that are masterfully executed, but I will say that there is lots of sympathy for Alan as well in his own crippling oddness. He could have easily been painted one way, but I ended up kind of understanding him, and like that Swanson put him together the way that he did.The mystery itself is very well done, with twists and turns that come slowly to the surface. It’s a slow burn, and you think that you may have something figured out, but then things will completely change on you. He also does a very good job of slowly turning the screws of suspense, and wrote moments that really messed with my memory and consciousness. There was a moment involving a cat being let out of Kate’s apartment, only to be found in the apartment again in the middle of the night. Not only did she question if she had let him out in the first place, I TOO QUESTIONED IT, and had to prevent myself from flipping back and checking. It’s this kind of uncanny and upsetting horror that really gets me, and makes me super squeamish (so much so that I had to set the book down and go watch “Frasier” for a couple of hours). Swanson is also deft at skillfully switching perspectives, be it Kate, or Alan, or one of the other perspective chapters of other characters (whom I shan’t spoil here). All of them had complete and well rounded voices, and I feel like he really lets the reader get into all of their heads. The puzzle pieces are laid out for the taking, and gosh did I enjoy picking them up and putting them together. While I managed to figure it out eventually, it wasn’t long before the reveal, and I was still pretty blown away by it all.“Her Every Fear” is a great thriller, one that I tore through and highly recommend to fans of the genre. And if you haven’t already, go back and pick up “The Kind Worth Killing” as well, and treat yourself to a double header of awesome twisty thrills!
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Her Every Fear by Peter Swanson4.5 StarsFrom The Book:The danger isn’t all in your head . . .Growing up, Kate Priddy was always a bit neurotic, experiencing momentary bouts of anxiety that exploded into full blown panic attacks after an ex-boyfriend kidnapped her and nearly ended her life. When Corbin Dell, a distant cousin in Boston, suggests the two temporarily swap apartments, Kate, an art student in London, agrees, hoping that time away in a new place will help her overcome the recent wreckage of her life.But soon after her arrival at Corbin’s grand apartment on Beacon Hill, Kate makes a shocking discovery: his next-door neighbor, a young woman named Audrey Marshall, has been murdered. When the police question her about Corbin, a shaken Kate has few answers, and many questions of her own—curiosity that intensifies when she meets Alan Cherney, a handsome, quiet tenant who lives across the courtyard, in the apartment facing Audrey’s. Alan saw Corbin surreptitiously come and go from Audrey’s place, yet he’s denied knowing her. Then, Kate runs into a tearful man claiming to be the dead woman’s old boyfriend, who insists Corbin did the deed the night that he left for London.When she reaches out to her cousin, he proclaims his innocence and calms her nerves . . . until she comes across disturbing objects hidden in the apartment—and accidentally learns that Corbin is not where he says he is. Could Corbin be a killer? And what about Alan? Kate finds herself drawn to this appealing man who seems so sincere, yet she isn’t sure. Jetlagged and emotionally unstable, her imagination full of dark images caused by the terror of her past, Kate can barely trust herself . . . So how could she take the chance on a stranger she’s just met? Yet the danger Kate imagines isn’t nearly as twisted and deadly as what’s about to happen. When her every fear becomes very real. And much, much closer than she thinks.My Thoughts:The story is told from multiple viewpoints. I usually hate this way of telling the story as the characters sometimes become difficult to keep straight. That was not the case with Her Every Fear. There was a parade of various characters throughout Kate's stay in Boston and they all were loudly and convincingly proclaiming their innocence but you knew one of them was lying as Kate's neighbor had been murdered only hours before Kate arrived from London. I went back and forth on which one it was but Peter Swanson had delivered the story so well that I never did sort it out. I highly recommend this to anyone that loves a physiological mystery with lots of possible solutions.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Her Every Fear – A Trip into a Twisted MindPeter Swanson once again has raised the bar where psychological thrillers with his latest book, Her Every Fear, which is deep, dark and beautiful. While any complaints I may have are that of a pedant, such as the English used by an English character, and going to a bank in London and withdrawing amount of money in one hundred pound notes. Pity there are no English one-hundred-pound note, and those that exist are Scottish which most people refuse to accept, legal tender or not.Kate Priddy has not had much luck in life and a previous boyfriend had heightened her anxiety disorder to the worst possible place, that she sees danger where none exist and it hampers her life and movement. When her cousin in Boston suggests that they do a flat swap for six months as he has a short-term contract in London, uncharacteristically she accepts.As Kate arrives in Boston, she suffers her first panic attack as she is leaving the airport on route to her cousin’s apartment. Shortly after arriving Kate is shocked to learn that the neighbour across from her has been murdered, and was a friend of her cousin Corbin. As the police investigate Kate is both nervous and scared of what is happening around her, and has nobody to talk it through with. Even if she does think she is losing her mind in that the apartment blocks cat seems to always be in her apartment somehow.As the story progresses we gain the back story of both Kate and Corbin which heightens your senses and question what is happening around them. Kate is jetlagged and her mind is playing games with her, she is drowning emotionally, and she does not know who to trust, especially as she does not trust herself.As the story progresses we are waiting to see if the police can discover who murdered Audrey Marshall and how does her cousin fit in to the story, is he the killer, did he do it before he flew out to London? How does Kate cope, who is playing with her emotions and what are their motivations and will she become a victim once again?There are many questions that are constantly raised throughout the book and how Kate actually manages to hold things together while fighting her inner demons. Kate is a likable character, vulnerable, emotional, and uses her artistic abilities to try and control her anxiety.Once again Peter Swanson has written a rollercoaster ride of a thriller, whose storytelling packs a punch with no wasted words. Like his killers he is straight to the point, does not mess around packing the story but gets to the heart of the matter, making the pain raw and the emotion electric. A book that will keep you gripped from beginning to end with more twists than twister, Swanson’s mind it twisted, and I like it.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Kate Priddy has had a rough couple of years. A horrific experience at the hands of an old boyfriend left her borderline panophobic with a dash of OCD. After a lot of therapy & support, she’s finally living a quiet life in her tiny London flat.She’s never met her 2nd cousin Corbin Dell so it’s surprising when he gets in touch with a proposition. He’s coming to London for 6 months, leaving behind an opulent apartment in Boston’s Beacon Hill. Would she be interested in doing a swap? Despite (and because of) her parents’ reservations, Kate enrols for classes at a small Boston art college & takes the plunge. But she barely makes it to her new front door before her nightmares come to life. Corbin’s neighbour Audrey Marshall has been violently murdered & Kate soon finds herself at the centre of the investigation. This is one of those book where the less you know going in, the better. Over the next few days, we are introduced to other characters central to the plot as Kate reluctantly leaves the safety of her apartment. She meets Alan Cherney who lives directly across from Audrey & Jack Ludovico, the victim’s old boyfriend who is desperate for any news Kate can provide.And then there’s Corbin who flew to London the same day Audrey died. He spends the bulk of the book across the pond but we get to know him as he recalls the first time he went to London & the events that would end up shaping his life. Kate has never met him but as they email back & forth about the investigation, she begins to wonder if he knows more than he’s telling.They all take turns narrating their own stories, sometimes recounting the same event but with very different interpretations. The result is we are privy to their private agendas but don’t know who to believe. They are all unreliable including Kate. This was supposed to be a fresh start but her fragile psyche is taking a beating. Her slippery grasp on reality doesn’t exactly make her the poster child for mental health & even she doubts her spotty memory.The style of the narrative leaves you feeling vaguely uneasy & a little jumpy about what/who may pop up on the next page. It cleverly brings your own preconceptions into play as you try to suss who is telling the “best” truth. Characters that struck you as shady become sympathetic & you start reexamining those you thought were in the clear. One of these people is lying & as the tension slowly builds, we become as paranoid as Kate & begin to cut her some slack for all her neuroses. This is a full on psychological thriller that will mess with your head (I flatly refuse to compare it to any book with “girl” in the title). The author carefully doles out information & it’s up to you to decide what’s significant. And I genuinely appreciated that the clues are all there so you can look back & see where you may have taken a wrong turn. By the time the killer is revealed, it’s clear this was never just about Audrey but you’ll have to make it through the chilling final chapters before the whole story is told. Once you start, it becomes compulsive reading so to save time just go ahead & turn on all the lights & check the locks before you crack the cover.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5As one imagine from the title, this novel is a creepy mystery, involving murdered women and characters with messed up relationships. Told from different perspectives, the characters and their stories intertwine, making for a fast-paced book with frequent new revelations. After some of the events in this book, I may have trouble sleeping tonight.
Book preview
Her Every Fear - Peter Swanson
Part I
Long-Leggedy Beasties
Chapter 1
THE FASTEST ROUTE FROM LOGAN Airport to downtown Boston is a mile-long tunnel called the Sumner. Dark, damp, and low ceilinged, the Sumner feels as though it were built a hundred years ago, which it very nearly was. And on Friday, April 24, a warm spring evening, a Boston University freshman ran out of gas halfway through the tunnel, reducing rush-hour traffic to just one slow-moving lane, instead of the usual two. Kate Priddy, who had never been to Boston and had no idea she would wind up in a tunnel under Boston Harbor, sat in the back of a stopped taxicab and began to panic.
It was not her first panic attack, not even of that particular day. She’d had one earlier that morning when she’d stepped outside of her flat in Belsize Park in London into a cold, gray dawn and suddenly felt like the whole idea of the apartment swap had been the worst idea she’d ever agreed to. But she’d done her breathing exercises, and repeated her mantra, and told herself that it was too late to back out now. Her second cousin, whom she’d never met, was on an overnight flight from Boston to London at this very instant. He was taking her flat for six months while she was going to live in his apartment in Beacon Hill.
But this attack, with the taxicab stalled in the dark tunnel, was far worse than anything she’d had for a long while. The glistening walls of the endless tunnel curved at the top. It was like being inside a massive constricting snake, and Kate felt her stomach fold within her, her mouth turn dry.
The taxicab crept forward. The backseat smelled of body odor and the flowery perfume of some car deodorant. Kate wanted to roll down the window, but didn’t know what taxicab customs were like in the United States. Her stomach folded again, starting to cramp. When did I last go to the toilet, she thought, and her panic ratcheted up a notch. It was such a familiar feeling: heart speeding up, limbs turning cold, the world sharpening before her eyes. But she knew what to do. Her therapist’s voice was in her head. It’s just a panic attack, an accidental surge of adrenaline. It can’t hurt you, or kill you, and no one will notice it. Just let it happen. Float with it. Ride it out.
But this one’s different, Kate told herself. The danger felt real. And suddenly she was back at the cottage in Windermere, crouched and cowering in the locked closet, her nightgown wet with urine, George Daniels on the other side of the door. She felt almost like she’d felt then, cold hands inside of her, twisting her stomach like it was a damp dish towel. There’d been the shotgun blast, then the terrible silence that lasted for hours and hours. When she’d finally been pulled from the closet, her joints stiff and her vocal cords raw from screaming, she didn’t know how she was still alive, how the fear hadn’t killed her.
The sound of an echoing horn brought her back inside the cab. She pushed the thoughts of Windermere, of George, away, and breathed in as deeply as she could, even though it felt like something heavy was sitting on her chest.
Face it. Accept it. Float with it. Let time pass.
The words weren’t working, and Kate could feel her throat closing, becoming a pinhole, her lungs frantically trying to pull in oxygen. The back of the cab now smelled like that closet had, mustiness and rot, as though something had died many summers ago in the walls. She thought of running, and that thought filled her with even more panic. She thought of her pills, her prescription benzodiazepines, that she rarely took anymore but that she’d brought anyway, the way a child who doesn’t need his blankie anymore still keeps it close at hand. But the pills were in her suitcase, which was in the bloody boot of the cab. She opened her dry mouth to say something to the cabdriver, to ask him to pop the boot, but the words didn’t come out. And that was the moment—one she’d had many times—when she became convinced that she really was dying. Panic attacks can’t kill you. Of course they can’t, she thought, and squeezed her eyes shut anyway, as though a train were barreling down on her. It was the worst thing to do. The world dissolved into a closet full of blackness, death choking her. Her insides began to liquefy.
Face it. Accept it. Float with it. Let time pass.
The cab jolted forward a whole car length, then stopped again, and that small movement made her feel slightly better, as though saying the mantra had caused the car to move in the first place. She repeated it again, while doing her breathing exercises.
The driver shook a hand, his fingers spread, and muttered something at the dirty windshield in a language Kate didn’t understand. For some reason, she’d thought that cabdrivers in America would be stereotypically American—short men with caps and cigar stubs and loud American voices. But this cabdriver was turbaned and heavily bearded; except for the fact that he was sitting on the left side of the car, she might as well have been in London.
How long is this tunnel?
Kate managed to ask through the partition. Her voice sounded cracked and timid in her own ears.
There’s something up ahead.
Is it always like this?
Sometimes,
the driver said, then shrugged.
Kate gave up and moved back from the partition. She rubbed her hands along her thighs. The cab kept jerking forward, a few feet at a time, but after it passed the stalled Chevy, two lanes opened up and the cab was moving again. Kate breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth. She unclenched a hand and one of her knuckles cracked. She began to tap her thumb against her fingertips in ordered succession. The pinhole that was her throat opened up a little.
They cleared the tunnel, and Kate caught a glimpse of swollen clouds dominating the sky just before the cab dipped and swayed into another tunnel, but one in which the traffic was barreling along. The cabdriver made up for lost time before emerging onto another fast-moving road that wound along the Charles River. There was enough light left in the sky for Kate to make out the backsides of brick houses whipping past on her left. On the river, a rower on a scull skimmed along its placid surface.
The driver took a sudden, lurching left, doubling back to get onto a narrow road, square, brick houses on either side, blossoming trees along the sidewalk.
Bury Street,
announced the driver.
It’s 101.
Got it.
The driver sped up, then slowed down and halted suddenly, one wheel riding up onto the sidewalk, in front of a brick archway surmounted by a small stone on which the number 101 was carved. Kate could see into a courtyard with a low fountain. The apartment building, three stories high, ran along three sides of the courtyard. Kate’s stomach ached a little, a leftover from her earlier panic attack, and she thought guiltily of her second cousin, Corbin Dell, arriving at her unexceptional flat in North London earlier in the day. But he’d known what he was getting. They’d sent several e-mails back and forth. Her one-bedroom was cozy and conveniently located near a tube station, but Corbin’s place—she’d seen the pictures—was like something out of a Henry James novel. Still, she hadn’t been prepared for the courtyard entrance, very Italian, that seemed out of place with the small amount of Boston she’d already seen.
She waited on the curb while the driver removed her two bags—a large rollie and an even larger duffel bag. She’d gotten dollars at her bank in London the previous week and she paid the driver with the thin, papery notes, not quite knowing what to tip, so probably giving him too much. After he drove off, she balanced the duffel bag onto the rollie and made her way through the archway.
She was midway across the courtyard, paved half in flagstone and half in brick, when the central door swung open and a doorman shaped like a pear darted out waving his hand.
Hello, hello,
he said. He wore a long brown raincoat over a suit, and a peaked cap. Under the cap he wore dark-framed glasses with thick lenses. He had dark black skin and a very white mustache, one side slightly thicker than the other.
Hi,
Kate said. I’m Katherine Priddy. I’m here to stay in Corbin Dell’s apartment.
Right. I know all about it. Mr. Dell’s moving to London for half a year and you’re moving here. London’s loss and Boston’s gain, I suspect.
He winked at her, and some of the tension that was still gripping her chest dissipated.
I don’t know about that,
Kate said.
I’m rarely wrong,
he said. Kate had read somewhere that Bostonians were notorious for their lack of warmth, but the doorman was proving otherwise.
I see you brought everything you own,
he said, surveying the two bags. Kate sensed, more than saw, a woman pass by her and into the building. The doorman didn’t seem to notice.
If you can get the suitcase, I can get the duffel,
Kate said, and the two of them managed to navigate the three worn marble steps that led to the building’s lobby. He left the suitcase on the tiled floor and moved swiftly to the other side of the front desk. He was light on his feet for a heavy man.
I promised Mrs. Valentine I’d call when you got here. She’s the president of the building association, and wanted to give you the tour of your new apartment.
Oh okay,
Kate said, looking around. The lobby was narrow but beautiful. A glass-encased four-lamp chandelier hung from the high ceiling. The walls were painted in a lustrous shade of cream.
Miss Priddy is down here in the lobby,
he said into the telephone, then replaced the receiver. She’ll be right down. Let’s get your luggage onto the elevator. You’re on the third floor of the north wing. You have a nice view of the Charles. Have you been to Boston before?
While Kate told him that she had actually never been to the States before, a tall, painfully thin woman somewhere in her seventies came down one of the side stairs, her shoes clacking percussively on the tiled steps. She wore a long black dress and a floral scarf around her neck. Her hair was silver and pinned up into an elaborate bun. Kate wondered if she always dressed like this or if she was going out later. The woman introduced herself as Carol and shook Kate’s hand. Her hand was like a bundle of chopsticks covered in a layer of tissue paper.
I’m sure you could have figured out Corbin’s apartment all by yourself, Kate, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to have a welcoming committee.
After the doorman had loaded Kate’s luggage into the elevator, Carol got the key from him, then took Kate up the winding stairway. Do you mind walking? It’s my daily exercise.
Kate told her she was happy to walk, relieved that she didn’t have to ride the elevator.
At the third floor, Carol turned left and Kate followed her down a dark, carpeted hall, with a doorway on the left, one on the right, and one at the end. A woman about Kate’s age was rapping on the door on the left. Kate thought she was the woman who had flitted by earlier in the courtyard.
Can I help you?
Carol asked loudly.
The woman turned. She wore jeans and a scoop-neck sweater. Her dark hair was cut in a bob, and she was almost pretty, except for the lack of a chin. It was so noticeable that Kate wondered, for a moment, if she’d been in some kind of terrible chin-obliterating accident.
Do you work here? Could I get a key for this door? I’m worried about my friend.
Her voice was nasal, pitched high with anxiety.
Why are you worried?
Carol asked. Is everything okay?
I can’t get in touch with her. We were supposed to have lunch, and I called her work and she didn’t show up there, either. And now I’m worried.
Did you talk with our doorman?
No, I just came straight up here. It’s not like her, you know. I’ve texted her, like, a thousand times.
I’m sorry,
Carol said. I don’t have a key, myself, but maybe you should speak with our doorman Bob. He’ll know something. What’s the name of your friend?
Carol had started to walk again, and so did Kate.
Audrey Marshall. Do you know her?
"I’ve met her, dear, but don’t know much about her. Go talk with Bob. He’ll help you. He should have helped you when you first arrived."
Kate found herself walking along the edge of the hall, her shoulder almost rubbing against the paneled wall. The upset friend, with her shrill, panicked voice, had caused Kate’s chest to seize up again, the panic inside of her like an expanding balloon. She thought of her pills, in the toiletry bag in the rollie, unreachable for now.
It’s so unusual,
Carol was saying, as she slid a key into the lock of the door at the end, for someone to be in here without having gone through the doorman first. I’m sure there’s actually nothing wrong with anybody.
She said this as though nothing bad had ever happened to anyone anywhere. It was the type of ridiculous but well-meaning proclamation that Kate’s father might make. Kate, herself, from the moment she saw the worried woman knocking frantically on her new neighbor’s door, knew that someone was dead. It was how her mind worked. And knowing that her mind worked that way—constantly stretching logic all the way to its worst possible conclusion—did not lessen her certainty. Already that day, Kate had known that the youth with the sweaty forehead and the fuzzy mustache in the departures lounge was carrying a homemade explosive device in his backpack. And she had known that the stretch of turbulence over the Atlantic Ocean would grow in ferocity until it ripped one of the jet’s wings off as easily as a sadistic child shredding a butterfly. These hadn’t happened, but that didn’t mean that behind the door down the hall, there wasn’t a dead or dying girl. Of course there was.
Kate turned her attention to Carol, who was still fiddling with the key. She wondered if the tumblers of the lock were too much for Carol’s birdlike bones to handle, then heard, with immense relief, the oily snap of the door unlocking. Even though she’d never been in Corbin’s apartment, she’d already taken possession of it in her mind. She badly wanted to get inside and feel the safety of a home. It felt like years since she’d stepped out of the comfort of her London flat, double-checking the lock of the outside door, a minicab idling at the curb. Carol swung the door inward just as Kate heard voices again in the hall. She turned to see the doorman, Bob, lugging the duffel bag, the chinless woman at his side protesting her case. Let me take care of this young lady first, then we’ll see to your friend,
he was saying.
Carol ushered Kate into her new home, and Kate immediately asked for the toilet. Of course, dear, there’s one attached to the bedroom,
Carol said, pointing, and Kate walked rapidly, barely taking in the extravagance of her surroundings before shutting herself into an enormous bathroom, tiled in black and white. She sat on the toilet lid, and even though she knew the pills weren’t there, she opened her purse anyway. Inside, tucked into the side pocket, was her plastic bottle of benzodiazepines. As soon as she saw them, she remembered moving the bottle from her suitcase to her bag early that morning. How had she forgotten that so soon? With trembling hands she unscrewed the lid and dry-swallowed a pill. A feeling of dread—almost worse than the panic—spread over her.
She should never have come to America.
Chapter 2
EVEN THOUGH THE APARTMENT WAS enormous, it shouldn’t have taken Carol Valentine thirty minutes to deliver the tour, but she clearly relished the role. She pointed out the walnut-stained oak floors, the coffered ceilings, the working fireplace, and what she called the Juliet balcony, which was really just a hip-high railing one foot out from the floor-to-ceiling French doors that Kate knew she would never open. The apartment wasn’t particularly high up, but it was high enough.
You like it?
Carol asked, after the tour was complete, even though Kate had expressed her admiration about thirty times already.
I do. I love it. Cozy.
It’s beautifully furnished, don’t you think? You’d think a young man like Corbin . . .
Carol left the thought unfinished and smiled with just her mouth, the papery skin that covered her face shifting in such a way that Kate felt like she could see the exact contours of the woman’s skull. What’s your apartment—your flat—like in London?
All of it would fit in this living room,
Kate said. I’m feeling a little guilty. I got the better bargain.
Yes, but London . . .
Kate yawned, quickly covering her mouth.
My dear, you must be exhausted. I forgot all about the time change.
I am tired,
Kate said. It’s my bedtime if I were home.
"Well, try to stay up a little later than you usually do so you get used to it here. And as soon as you get settled in, you’ll have to come and have a drink. I’m on the other side, exactly opposite. Our place has the same layout as yours. These end apartments are the absolute best in the building. Especially yours, since you have a view toward the city and a view toward the river." She lowered her voice, as though the other apartments might hear what she was saying.
It’s beautiful,
Kate said.
The building was modeled after a Venetian palazzo, you know.
I thought it looked Italian. The courtyard.
"The architect was from Boston, but he visited Italy and came back here. This was years ago, of course. My husband would love to tell you all about it when you come for that drink."
Carol left, and Kate shut the door behind her. She stood for a moment, still rattled by what had happened in the bathroom, finding her pills in her purse after forgetting that she’d moved them there. But since then, she’d talked herself through it a little, and she’d calmed down. Or maybe the pill was simply doing its job, spreading its calming fingers over her skin.
She retoured the apartment herself this time, taking in all the details, the built-in bookshelves, the paintings on the wall. Every room was beautifully furnished but somehow impersonal, as though all the items had been picked out by a decorator, which they probably had. In the bedroom, across from a king-sized bed with a cushioned headboard, there was a low bureau, the top of which was covered with about fifteen framed photographs. Family pictures, most in black and white, most taken on holiday. Boats and beaches. Kate studied them. She recognized Corbin’s father, her mother’s cousin, but only from other photographs she’d seen. He was in most of the pictures, usually with Corbin and Kate’s other second cousin, Philip. Kate wondered why Corbin had no pictures of his mother on the bureau, but then it occurred to her that this apartment had been owned by Corbin’s divorced father before he died, and these must be the father’s pictures, not the son’s.
Kate wondered how much of the rest of the apartment was in the style of the father. She guessed most of it. From what she’d gathered from her mother, Richard Dell had moved to Boston sometime in the 1970s to be with his American wife. His work had something to do with finance (moving lots and lots of money around,
Lucy Priddy told her daughter), and during the 1980s, he made a fortune. Richard and Amanda, his wife, had lived on the North Shore, in a seaside mansion in the town of New Essex. When their children were teenagers, they got divorced, Amanda keeping the seaside house and Richard buying the apartment at 101 Bury Street in Boston. The apartment had been left to Corbin after Richard died in a swimming accident while on holiday in Bermuda.
Kate had learned all this information two months earlier, during Sunday dinner with her parents.
Your second cousin Corbin got in touch with me,
Lucy had said. They were in the conservatory, done with dinner, but still drinking wine. Kate’s father, Patrick, was taking Alice, their border terrier, for her walk.
Oh,
Kate said.
I don’t think you’ve ever met him. Have you met him?
He’s your cousin Richard’s son, right? The one who died a few years ago?
He drowned, yes. You met Richard, actually, at Charlotte’s wedding. I don’t know if you remember. I met Corbin for the first time at his father’s funeral.
Kate’s parents had traveled all the way to Massachusetts for the funeral, although they’d tied the trip in with a driving tour up the Maine coast, something they’d both always wanted to do.
"He seemed very sweet. And so handsome. Almost looked like—who’s that actor you like from Spooks? Rupert something."
Rupert Penry-Jones. Why are you telling me this? I feel like you’re on the verge of telling me you’ve arranged my marriage to a second cousin. Have we gone back in time?
Lucy laughed; the spontaneous version, not the contrived ringing bells that sometimes came out in social situations. Yes, darling. It’s all arranged. No, but I’m telling you this for a reason. I haven’t slipped into full senility. Corbin Dell is moving to London—a company transfer, or something—for six months, and he sent me an e-mail because he knows you live in London.
He didn’t ask to stay with me, did he?
No, no. Of course not. But he did say he wanted to check and see if you were potentially interested in a home swap. He said he’d love to have someone staying at his place in Boston, and then he could stay at your place, and that way he’d save some money, and you’d have the opportunity to spend half a year in America.
Kate took a sip of her wine. It was white, and far too sweet. What would I do in Boston?
I thought that maybe you could take classes, like you’ve been talking about. They must have graphic design schools. And you’d keep drawing, of course.
What about my job?
Kate had just gone from part-time to full-time at an art-supply store in Hampstead.
Well, that’s not a career, exactly, is it?
Kate, who agreed with her mother on that point, was annoyed nonetheless and said nothing. A part of her knew that this was the type of situation she’d be foolish to turn down. Six months in another country. She’d never been to America, and Boston was supposed to be nice. A manageable city, she’d heard, not like New York or Chicago, or London, for that matter. She’d have a place to live. Probably a beautiful place to live. And the more that these reasons popped into her head, the more anxious she got, realizing that she would probably turn it down. It was too soon. She was better, but she wasn’t completely well yet.
I feel like I’m just getting settled in London, and everything is going smoothly, and I just don’t know if I should rock the boat.
Absolutely, Kate. He asked, so I thought I’d ask. I totally understand.
As her mother spoke, Kate realized that her mother had never believed that Kate would actually take the opportunity to move to Boston for half a year. It was this thought that pestered Kate for the remainder of the afternoon. Her father returned from walking Alice, and the three decided to go to the White Swan in Braintree center for one more before Kate had to catch a train back to London. Kate was tipsy on the ride home, her mind picturing all the things that could go right in Boston, then all the things that could go wrong. And she kept thinking about the tone of her mother’s voice, the way she’d clearly known that Kate was going to say no. It was that, more than anything, that caused Kate to ring up her parents when she got back to her flat in London and tell them that she’d changed her mind.
Oh,
her mother said.
I think I’d be foolish to not do it. There’s nothing keeping me here, right now. Except you and Dad, of course.
We’d come visit.
Tell Corbin I’d like to do it. Or better yet, send me his e-mail and I’ll tell him myself.
She’d written Corbin that night, before she lost her nerve. He’d been thrilled. They arranged the swap from late April to early October. Kate had given notice at her job, then had found a graphic design school were she could take courses in InDesign and Illustrator. And now she was here, her first class scheduled for Monday afternoon. Kate walked back down the hallway that led to the living room, where Bob the doorman had deposited her bags. She knew she should unpack, but a wave of tiredness spread through her. Also, hunger. She went to the kitchen, with its limestone counters and stainless steel appliances. It looked like it had never been used. She opened the fridge. All alone on the middle shelf was a bottle of champagne, a yellow sticky note attached to it. Welcome, Kate—Enjoy! was written in cramped handwriting. A pang of guilt went through Kate that she hadn’t left anything for Corbin in her flat, although she’d left him a much longer note, welcoming him and describing the neighborhood.
Except for the champagne and an assortment of condiments, the refrigerator was practically bare. She opened the freezer and found a stack of frozen dinners from someplace called Trader Joe’s. She read the directions on the back of a frozen boeuf bourguignon and decided she could handle it. The box was familiar and yet different, the nutritional information using ounces instead of grams and calories instead of energy. She figured out the microwave and began to heat up the dinner, then filled and emptied a water glass from the tap before wondering if the water was okay to drink. It tasted okay, but different than the water she was used to drinking. More minerals. After pouring herself a glass of champagne, she walked to the front door and pressed her eye to the peephole, wondering what had happened with the missing girl down the hall. Would Bob have let the friend in? Probably not, she thought, and wondered what the friend would do next. The police would probably not be helpful. Kate had watched enough American police procedurals to know that you couldn’t file a missing persons report if the person had been missing for less than a day. The hallway was empty. Maybe Kate had overreacted and nothing was really wrong. Maybe the girl had grown tired of her pushy, chinless friend.
Kate ate the dinner, surprisingly good, sitting on one of the stools around the L-shaped granite island in the kitchen. She poured a second glass of champagne, took one sip, and was overcome again with exhaustion. Her head was heavy on her neck, her stomach slightly queasy. She had planned on unpacking and setting up her laptop so that she could send e-mails, and she’d hoped to watch some American television, but instead she rolled her suitcase into the bedroom, dug around in it to find her toiletry kit, plus the boxers and T-shirt she liked to sleep in, then managed to brush her teeth and wash her face before climbing between the cool, crisp sheets. Despite being exhausted, she lay awake for a time, listening to the barely discernible sounds of the apartment: the far-off rumble of traffic, the muffled click of a heating system, something else—a soft hissing—she couldn’t identify. The bed, she thought, before falling asleep, was the most comfortable bed she had ever lain on. She sank into its grip.
KATE WOKE ONCE. INTERMITTENT BLUE lights were flashing along a diagonal stretch of the high ceilings. Where are the sirens? Kate thought. Then: Where am I? And, finally, after a confused two seconds, she remembered. Her mouth was dry and she was desperately thirsty. She heard what sounded like a distant train. She rolled to either side, looking for the illuminated numbers of a clock to tell her what time it was, but, except for the police lights streaking through the curtained windows, the room was black.
Kate sat up, then lay back down. She was far too tired to even find the bathroom and get a drink of water. What was the name of that neighbor again? The girl who was missing? Audrey Marshall, Kate remembered. She was good with names. It was her superpower, George had said. He’d dubbed her Never-Forgets-a-Name-Girl. Kate closed her eyes, heard someone whispering to her in a dream, and jolted awake again. The voices disappeared, and the room was dark again. Had she dreamed the police lights? I’ll find out about it tomorrow, she thought, and let herself fall back into a black pool of sleep.
Chapter 3
SHE DID FIND OUT ABOUT it, but not until late the following day.
She woke early, the room still dark. She knew she should try to sleep in a little later, to adjust herself to Boston time, but she was wide awake and desperate for coffee.
It took a while, but she found the coffeemaker and some coffee and figured out how it all worked. While the coffee brewed, she walked around the enormous apartment again. The thin light of morning was beginning to suffuse the windows. The largest room of the apartment, the central living room, had the view of the Charles River, quiet in the gray dawn, traces of mist above its unruffled surface. There was a footbridge that spanned both the river and the road next to it.
The living room looked ready for a cocktail party. There were scattered chairs, plus two large couches facing one another, and in between them a glass-topped coffee table. Kate hated glass tables. Putting anything on one made her think it would instantly shatter, or at least crack. She always lived in the next moment, the tragic moment. For this reason, she’d always loathed low railings, crossing busy streets, waiters carrying multiple plates. These had always been prickly, annoying phobias, but then, five years earlier, the incident with George had happened and her life had changed forever. She couldn’t leave her house for over a year. No, worse than that. She couldn’t even imagine leaving her house; fear and grief had immobilized her. Her parents and her therapist had slowly pulled her out of that hole, and life had gotten better. It was inconceivable to her that she had made it all the way to the States, to this enormous apartment with its glass table. She didn’t like the glass table, but she could live with it.
There was no television in the living room, and she wondered, with a sense of horror, if the apartment was television free. Then she remembered what Carol Valentine had called the den,
a dark-wood-paneled room with a soft leather couch. For a brief moment, she couldn’t remember where the den was located, but it was off the hallway that led toward the two guest bedrooms. She was right; the television was there—a monstrous screen hidden behind wooden doors built into a bookshelf. On the table (thankfully not glass) in front of the couch, there was a universal remote on top of a laminated card listing at least a hundred channels.
There was also a large wooden desk in the den, and Kate noticed a sticky note on its surface. It listed the name of a wireless account (Angel Face
) and a password. It made her realize that she ought to check in with her parents, and also with Corbin, to make sure he’d made it safely to her own flat.
Kate retrieved her laptop and adapter from her suitcase, stopped back in the kitchen for a mug of black coffee, and returned to the den. She marveled once again at the expanse of the apartment. She sat at the desk, the leather chair creaking authentically. She had many e-mails, mostly junk, but one from her mother and one from Corbin. She opened Corbin’s first:
Kate,
It only took the driver a few false turns but we finally found your beautiful flat, and I read your incredibly thoughtful note. I’m ashamed I didn’t write a similar thing for you, and I have no excuse, but once I’m used to the jet lag I will send you an exhaustive list of good bars and restaurants near my apartment. I promise.
Quick question: I see you have a washer but don’t see a dryer. Am I missing something?
More later. I’m looking forward to the next six months.
Corbin
Kate wrote back:
I am too. When I walked into your place, I thought that I must have come to the wrong apartment. How gorgeous. I’m truly ashamed of my measly flat with a washing machine that also thinks it’s a dryer. It