Killer Story
By Matt Witten
4.5/5
()
About this ebook
Talented and idealistic young reporter Petra Kovach is on the brink of being laid off from her third failing newspaper in a row. To save her job, she pitches the launch of a true crime podcast about a sensational, unsolved murder.
Years earlier, an alt-right YouTuber was killed in her Harvard dorm room, and the case went cold. Petra knew the victim—she was once her camp counselor and loved her like a little sister, despite their political differences.
Petra's investigation gets off to a rocky start, as her promising leads quickly shrivel up. In her passionate quest for justice—and clicks—Petra burns sources and breaks laws, ultimately putting her own life on the line. Even as her star rises, she worries it could all come crashing down at any moment if her actions are exposed.
When her machinations start to backfire, there's only one way to fix everything and solve the murder—even though it may cost her everything she loves.
Perfect for fans of Karin Slaughter and Harlan Coben
Matt Witten
Matt Witten is a TV writer, novelist, playwright and screenwriter. His television writing includes such shows as House, Pretty Little Liars, and Law & Order. His TV scripts have been nominated for an Emmy and two Edgars, and he has written four mystery novels, winning a Malice Domestic award for best debut novel. He has also written stage plays and for national magazines.
Related to Killer Story
Related ebooks
Saving Grace: A Novel of Suspense Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Dark August: A Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Silence: A Psychological Thriller Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe House Party: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Other Year Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYou Know Her: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Search Party: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Split: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Blood Will Tell: A Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHinton Hollow Death Trip Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Her Sister's Death Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Cage: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What They Don't Know Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLost Man's Lane: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Cruise Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWe Love to Entertain: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Daves Next Door Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Stowaway: A Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCover Your Tracks Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The New Mother: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Understudy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Vacation: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Other Side of Night: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Hunted Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Good Girl: A brand new totally absorbing psychological thriller Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Shadow Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Angel of Indian Lake Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Invisible Woman Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Thrillers For You
The Perfect Marriage: A Completely Gripping Psychological Suspense Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Housemaid Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fairy Tale Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Animal Farm Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Eyes of the Dragon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pretty Girls: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Sympathizer: A Novel (Pulitzer Prize for Fiction) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Institute: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Only Good Indians Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I'm Thinking of Ending Things: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Leave the World Behind: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Pet Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Rock Paper Scissors: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Paris Apartment: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sometimes I Lie: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Family Upstairs: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Razorblade Tears: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Troop Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hidden Pictures: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5You: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Lying Game: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Maidens: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Flicker in the Dark: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Girl Who Was Taken: A Gripping Psychological Thriller Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Needful Things Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Holly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5We Have Always Lived in the Castle Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for Killer Story
6 ratings2 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader along with a Q&A with the author (who had some great answers).---WHAT'S KILLER STORY ABOUT?While studying journalism in school, Petra acted as a counselor for a high school journalism camp. In that role, she met and befriended a young girl named Livvy Anderson. Over the years since then, the two forged a strong friendship—almost like sisters. At some point though, the relationship faltered—in college, Livvy started posting videos online spouting (in Petra's view) extreme right-wing politics, hateful speech, and the like. For example, she defended a star football player accused of raping a woman on campus by trashing her reputation and exposing personal details. Rather than pushing back or even arguing with her friend, Petra chilled communication, assuming it was a phase, and focused on her own work.And it might have been a phase if Livvy hadn't been killed. The murder was fairly sensational—it happened while Livvy was recording a video (but she paused the recording so no one saw it or the murderer). The accused killer was acquitted—and most of the country (including Petra) assumed it was a travesty of justice and that he got away with it. The Court of Public Opinion definitely found him guilty.Years later, Petra has found herself (like most young print journalists) bouncing around from newspaper to newspaper, trying to stay employed. She's now at a major Boston newspaper and thinks that life is stable—the subjects of her stories might not be that glamorous, but she's working, and the big story is around the corner.Until she's laid off. She panics at this point—her boyfriend (who moved cross-country with her for this job, changing the course of his career) isn't going to put up with the lack of stability much longer, and it's going to only get harder getting a job at the rate she's going. So she throws out a mad pitch to her editor—what if she could definitively prove who killed Olivia Anderson? She tells him this story isn't just the kind of thing for the paper—it'd make a great podcast.Visions of the kind of revenue that Serial and similar podcasts could bring to the paper, not to mention the publicity of this kind of story, he gives her two weeks to firm up the story, start producing the podcast, and they'll see what happens.Petra heads off to find the evidence she pretended to have during that meeting—and hopefully much more.THE JOURNALISM OF THIS NOVELI've talked before about how I'm a sucker for a novel about a driven journalist—typically a print journalist, too. I'm always ready, willing, and able to embrace and fall into the romance of the crusading reporter. Or just one who does the job well, without a crusade.But those kinds of stories are getting harder to tell and to believe in our current media landscape. Not just because print journalism is dying (for worse or for worser). It's definitely not the track that Witten takes here. Petra is desperate and acts desperately—she lies to her editor at every turn, overstating her case and the evidence she has at each step of the way. Almost every fictional reporter* cuts a corner here and there and bends a rule and the truth in pursuit of the story and/or the truth. Even thosPetra amputates corners and forces the truth about her actions into positions only the most experienced yogi can handle—at least when it comes to what she tells her editor, coworkers, the police, her boyfriend, and so on.* Lawyers, please note that I'm not saying anything about the methods of actual reporters or the companies they work for. Please don't sue me.When it comes to her actual reporting, however—in print, podcast, and elsewhere—Petra is much more honest. Bowing to editorial pressure she may say something earlier than she should* and while she never lies, she sure edges close to it. Her scripts feature incredibly well-chosen words—true, but open to interpretation.* There are a few hundred words I could write about other journalistic ethical moves here, but I'd be getting sidetracked.The journalism—both in print and in the podcast—we see here is very likely what fills our screens and earbuds. It's sensationalistic, click-driven, and not necessarily all that honest. It's depressing to think about, and it's not great to read about if you think about it in those terms—but it makes for a thrilling (and realistic) read. Still, I think I need to go watch Deadline – U.S.A. or something to restore my faith in humanity.THE ALT-RIGHT DEPICTIONThanks to Livvy's online persona, even now, she has a good number of fans. Many of those fans are not happy about Petra's podcast—and make that displeasure well known online. At least one goes further than that. Between them and Livvy's videos (and other online activities), Witten has to walk a careful line—he needs to depict them in an honest and believable way without turning them into a convenient punching bag for a reader or character to spend a lot of time venting about their politics (perhaps even himself). Or, to go in the other direction, too.I really appreciated the restraint he showed in this regard, it'd be easy to slip here, but on the whole, he simply reports on the views espoused—sure, it's clear that Petra and her colleagues (and many of the witnesses that talk about it) disagree with Livvy and her fans/defenders, but with only one exception, we don't get details their differences with the alt-right views.That exception comes from Petra having to do a deep dive into their activities and to try to interact—so it comes about organically. Even then, Witten doesn't let Petra go too far.I mention this to say that readers shouldn't let the politics involved in the book dissuade them—it's there, but it's just part of the atmosphere. And it's fairly evenly handled, and I can't imagine many readers having a problem with it.SO, WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT KILLER STORY?Early on in the novel, I made assumptions (as you do) about the kind of story that Witten was telling and what kind of things the reader should expect from the plot and characters. I was wrong on just about every point. It was a very different kind of story, the characters ended up going in directions I wouldn't have guessed (Petra's editor, boyfriend, and best friend were probably the exceptions to this), and every theory I had about the killing was wrong.* And the result is a richer, deeper, and more satisfying novel than what I thought I was going to get (and I anticipated this being a good one!).* Well, almost. I did have the motive and killer right for a chapter or two, but Witten and Petra got me off of that path.Witten's story in last year's Jacked was one of the higher points in a collection full of high points, and this novel solidified my appreciation for his writing. Before I got to the point where I realized that the novel wasn't telling the story that I thought it was and shifted my expectations, I spent a good deal of time not liking the book—but I couldn't stop reading it or thinking and talking about it when I wasn't reading it. It was just too well done. It got under my skin. Actually, it's still there—I can't stop thinking about Petra and her choices. I even emailed Witten to ask a couple of questions I had about some points—points that I think the reader could have divergent opinions on, but I wanted his authorial take on it. I've never done this before. But I had to know—and even having his take on them, I'm chewing on it.I'm going to be haunted by Killer Story for a bit—in the best way. If you're looking for a mystery you can sink your teeth into and chew on, look no further.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Matt Witten did it again with this nail biting thriller. We are in the era of the podcast. True Crime and Murder Mysteries reign supreme. But just how far are the creators willing to go for content?Petra gives us an in depth and behind the scenes account of the volatile world of journalism. You will see just how blurred the lines can become chasing your next piece of evidence for the latest episode. This story seriously had me doubling back, rereading chapters and scratching my head with every turn of the page. The moment you think you’ve figured it out you’re right back to square one. This is one will keep you on the edge of your seat and have you looking at podcasters and journalists in a whole new light. Prepare for one hell of an ending!
Book preview
Killer Story - Matt Witten
PROLOGUE
I LIKE TO think of you the way you were the summer night we first met, before you became the most loved and hated teenage girl in America. Long before the Murder of the Century changed both our lives forever.
Your mom didn’t want you taking an Uber, so I picked you up at the airport with my Olivia Anderson
sign. Your big blue eyes lit up when you saw me. You were pudgy then, and so earnest! In the vertical lines creasing your forehead whenever you asked a question, in the slight quavering at the end of your sentences, I always felt you were searching for something, some truth just out of your reach. As if life confused you.
Of course it did—you were fourteen!
We put your purple suitcases plastered with Taylor Swift stickers in the back of the UCLA van, and I drove you to campus. I asked, So what would you like to work on at journalism boot camp?
You answered, I want to write an article about what to do when you find a wounded bird or animal.
When I think of you, that’s the girl I remember.
Before you changed.
I was a college senior then, majoring in journalism and working as a camp counselor to pay the bills. I tried to treat all the kids the same, but let’s face it, you were my favorite. During morning workshops, you would sit in the front row with those wide open eyes tracking my every move. After class, you’d follow me to the cafeteria like a puppy, asking heartfelt questions along the way.
Then came that day in mid-August. We were walking from the cafeteria back to class. "Whether you write for the Washington Post or your high school newspaper, I was saying,
you’re an ambassador for the truth. It’s a sacred duty."
As we cut through the sculpture garden, you gazed up at me and asked, So what kind of like, career, does a journalist have?
I couldn’t help smiling at how serious you looked. Well, I’m only twenty-one. I don’t really know yet.
Then I gave you a longer answer. "Most people start at a small-town paper for a year or two. Then you go to a bigger city, and hopefully one day you go on to a major market. My dream is to be an investigative crime reporter for the New York Times."
You clapped your hand to your mouth. Oh my God, Petra, I can totally see you on CNN.
I smiled again. Me too.
As we walked up the steps to the classroom building, I launched into The Talk. "Of course, most reporters never make it to the Times. The business is crazy now, with so many newspapers laying people off." I always felt it was my responsibility to warn campers about the obstacles they’d face. It was a fine line, because I didn’t want to discourage you guys too much either.
With you, I didn’t have to worry. You said, Basically, I want to do good in the world, and also be famous.
I laughed. Your eyes grew round with embarrassment. Did that sound dumb?
No, it’s perfect. It’s what we all want.
You brightened up, and then your phone rang. I should get that. It’s my stepdad,
you said apologetically. You had told me about him; he was the consul general from Sweden. Into the phone you said, Hi, Dad.
I was about to head inside, but then you said, Is she okay?
You started taking quick, shallow breaths. By the time you got off the phone, your whole body was shaking. I took you in my arms and held you, your tears landing on my shoulders.
You could barely get words out, but I finally understood that your mom had been walking across the street and a hit-and-run driver crashed into her. I got the van and took you to the airport so you could catch a red-eye back to Boston. You made it to the hospital just in time to see your mom die.
I understood all too well how you felt.
One morning ten years before, when I was eight, I had begged my Tata—my father—to take me to MacArthur Park, down the street. He finally gave in. Just as we came to the domino tables and the hopscotch area, a man whose face I couldn’t see rode by in a black car and put a gun out the window. He must have been on drugs, and he started shooting all around. One bullet hit Tata in the heart.
The police didn’t work that hard to find the killer. At least that’s how it seemed to me and Mama. They said random killings like this, thrill killings,
were hard to solve. And with us not having a lot of money and living in East LA, they didn’t feel like they had to make a big deal out of it.
The day of your mom’s funeral, I told you about Tata on the phone, and how I wrote a Letter to the Editor of the Los Angeles Times two weeks after he was killed. I got the idea because Tata used to write for a newspaper back in Sarajevo, and in LA we would sit at the table reading the paper together, talking about the stories and the five W
questions and making up funny headlines. They published my letter and it got a lot of publicity, this eight-year-old kid writing about her dad’s murder, so the police started coming around again. They questioned everybody in the neighborhood. They even arrested some drug dealers to get them to talk.
In the end, they didn’t catch my Tata’s killer. But I never forgot how people all over the city read my Letter to the Editor, and it changed how the police acted. That’s when I decided to become a newspaper reporter.
After we talked, you wrote a Letter to the Editor of the Boston Globe asking any witnesses to please come forward. But the police never found your mom’s killer either. We began texting each other just about every night, all the way through high school graduation. Sometimes I felt like your big sister, other times like your mom. When you got accepted to Harvard, I was the first person you called.
September of your freshman year was an exciting time for both of us. I had just started a new job as a reporter in Oxford, Mississippi, and I’d met the guy who I was pretty sure was the love of my life. His name was Jonah, and he was a cute, curly haired guy with a grant from the National Science Foundation who was doing his post-doc at UMiss. He enjoyed hearing me talk about my work, and he was by far the best dancer of any computer nerd I’d ever met. On Saturday night of Labor Day weekend, we were in bed together after a perfect jambalaya dinner he’d made and some even more perfect sex. I was about to fall asleep when I picked up my phone and saw a group email you’d sent out promoting my first YouTube video ever! Check it out!
I was surprised. You’d never told me you were making a video. I put in my earbuds, clicked on the Greetings from Hahvahd University
link—and there you were. As the video loaded and the little wheel went round and round, I saw the still shot of you perched on the edge of your dorm room bed, next to a blue ceramic lamp. There was a window behind you with ivy-covered brick buildings in the background. It was so great to see you at your dream school. God, you looked so mature! Kind of tough looking, with an attitude in the set of your jaw. You were eighteen now, a young woman. One look at your red scoop-neck top was enough to tell me you weren’t that pudgy kid from boot camp anymore.
The wheel quit spinning. Your eyes hardened, showing a look I’d never seen from you before. Then you spoke.
Hi, my name’s Olivia—and no, not stripping for you. Sorry, guys, get your webgasms elsewhere. This is my very first missive from inside the hallowed halls of Hah-vahd, and let me tell you: this place is a fucking cesspool of professors puking forth nonstop crap about white people destroying the world. And the students! Call somebody a him or a her instead of a them, and it’s like you drowned their kitten. Tell people you’re a Christian, and fuck, you’re worse than a serial killer!
I watched the next six minutes of your video, hoping it would all turn out to be some bizarre joke. But it got worse. When you started in about how we needed to protect America forever
because illegals are invading our country and committing thousands of unsolved crimes,
I stabbed the stop button.
What the hell?!
In all your midnight texts, you never expressed any views like these.
You knew I was an immigrant: I came here from Sarajevo with my parents when I was three, escaping civil war. I tried to figure out what to say to you. Finally I texted, JUST SAW YOUR VIDEO. I HAD NO IDEA YOU FELT THIS WAY ABOUT IMMIGRANTS.
You texted right back, I DON’T MEAN YOU, PETRA, JUST THE ILLEGALS! :)
Great, so reassuring. I slipped out of bed so I wouldn’t wake up Jonah, poured a glass of wine, and composed the longest text I ever sent. I told you I had been an illegal
too, and I still remembered sitting in the back of a police car with Mama crying and Tata trying to comfort her. Luckily, instead of getting deported, we were granted asylum.
You sent back a one-sentence text: I’M SORRY, PETRA, I KNEW WE’D DISAGREE ABOUT THIS inline-image
I texted, WHEN DID YOU START FEELING THIS WAY?
You texted back, I’VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF READING AND THINKING. THERE’S SO MANY THINGS THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA DOESN’T TELL YOU
Mainstream media? I texted I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO BE A PART OF THAT!
DON’T BE MAD AT ME, PETRA! I LOVE YOU! inline-image
Then it got worse. As the months passed, you put out new videos where you attacked not just immigrants but radical feminists,
gay activists,
and baby killing atheists
that want to destroy our way of life.
I was bewildered. How did you suddenly morph into this wild extremist? Or were you always this full of hate, and somehow I didn’t see it?
I sent you more texts. You took longer to respond, and your texts grew more distant. Meanwhile your videos caught fire. On Insta you announced you’d reached ten thousand viewers … thirty thousand … eighty thousand …
Then, in January, came the worst video of all, titled Who Raped Who?
I forced myself to watch because all my co-workers at the Oxford Eagle were talking about it.
You sat on the edge of your bed as usual, wearing a pink camisole cut even lower than the shirt you wore for your first video. The big ceramic lamp still sat next to your bed, but your lighting was less harsh now, more professional looking.
Hey, everybody!
you said. "Major shout-out to all the three hundred thousand people watching my videos. Thank you so much! You toasted us with a bottle of Budweiser.
But don’t send me a fucking dick pic, okay? Your dicks are fucking gross."
I thought that was pretty funny. But then you put the beer down and got serious. If you spent any time at all online this week, you know that Harvard football stud Danny Madsen, the kind of guy feminists and cancel culture Nazis love to hate, has been accused of horrible shit. Rape. Well, here’s the deal: my boyfriend Brandon and I hang out with Danny. That’s Danny on the left.
You held up a photo of you with the two guys. Brandon had his arm around you. Handsome, a football player too judging by his thick neck, but with dark sensitive eyes. I instinctively liked him. His other arm was around Danny, a big guy with ears that stuck out and a buzz cut. I stared at his wide face, imagining him as a predator.
You said, I love Danny. He’s a sweetheart. And now some pathetic freshman girl tells lies, ruining his life—and she gets to stay anonymous.
You gave an angry laugh, then your face grew hard. But not anymore. ’Cause I’m gonna tell you her name: Sarah Fain. And nobody raped her. She’s a slut. Pro tip: she has a tattoo on her right ass cheek that says ‘Fuck ’em’ and a tattoo on her left ass cheek that says ‘Fuck me.’
I felt sick. How could you do this to a girl that your friend probably raped?
I hit STOP, and I gave up on watching your videos. I quit texting you. I didn’t know what I could say that would be remotely polite.
Basically I abandoned you.
I kept reading about you, though. When your viewership made it into the millions, the lamestream media
noticed. You got a new nickname, Olive Oil.
You said immigrants were riddled with dangerous contagious diseases,
and it trended on Twitter for three days. My liberal friends despised you, but you became a darling to the alt-right and their allies all over the country. I remembered you saying, I want to do good in the world, and also be famous.
Well, one out of two, I thought.
But I wondered where the girl I’d known had gone. I wondered if I would ever get to meet her again.
Then, one morning in April as I was walking toward a coffee shop before work, I checked my phone. There was a headline: YouTube Celeb Murdered.
Underneath it was a picture of you.
I walked headfirst into the door of the coffee shop and fell down. I sat there on the sidewalk unable to move as the world swirled all around me.
Livvy, you were so young. Just a kid. With so much time ahead of you to find your true path.
I felt so guilty. I was the big sister you had confided in for years. Then suddenly you were a college freshman. God knows that’s a bewildering time. Instead of arguing and turning away, I should have tried harder to find out what was really going on in your life.
Maybe if I’d listened to you better, I would have learned what kind of trouble you were in and helped you get out of it. Before you ended up dead.
But I did nothing. So now you were gone forever.
I had no idea that one day I would do everything I could to solve your murder, and it would make me just as famous—and infamous—as you were.
PART ONE
THE STORY OF A LIFETIME
CHAPTER ONE
TWO YEARS LATER, I was sitting in my white-walled cubicle at the Boston Clarion when I got a text from Dave Rollins, my managing editor. CAN I SEE YOU FOR A SEC, it read.
I smiled. Dave must want to congratulate me in person for my story on last night’s City Council meeting. It already had twelve hundred hits, no doubt thanks to my headline: "Tempers and Candles Flare at City Council." In truth, the meeting had been about as exciting as your average OkCupid date. But an elderly gray-haired lady from Southie lit a candle to dramatize her complaint about how there weren’t enough streetlights, and I jazzed that up.
BE RIGHT IN, I texted back.
And then I thought, I should give Dave my pitch. Now!
I was doing well at the Clarion. Dave liked me. I finally had some professional stability, thank God.
If he said yes, I would get a chance to do the biggest story of my life.
The story I’d been wanting to do ever since Livvy died.
The past two years had not been easy. First the Oxford Eagle laid me off, along with three other young writers. Last hired, first fired.
So I found a job at the Bozeman Daily Chronicle in Montana. That’s where I was when Livvy was killed. But then they laid off five writers, including me.
I landed a job at an internet news startup in Seattle with big dreams. I thought they were really onto something. They folded a few months later.
I got back on the merry-go-round. I wasn’t the young star fresh out of UCLA anymore, and the job market had gotten even worse, so it wasn’t easy to find a new gig. In college I had done some cool investigative journalism, but recently I’d been covering local news, from zoning board meetings to cats getting stuck in trees. I’d never gotten a shot at any of the stories I craved—the big, impactful crime stories. So my clips were good, but not brilliant. Not undeniable,
to use the jargon. I sent out application after application, hundreds of them, and the months piled up.
Like I’d done after college, I wrote freelance for internet sites—pieces like "Is Swiping Left Swiping Your Soul? and
21 Reasons to Buy New Underwear. It was fun, but the pay was virtually nothing. So I worked at Starbucks, making coffee for successful young women who paid while looking at their phones and barely noticed me. Mama wanted me to go back to school and become a teacher.
You need a job where you’re siguran," she kept telling me. Secure. I started stress-eating pastries and my weight shot back up.
Sometimes I thought Mama was right. Even before this most recent run of bad luck, my life had been way too full of news weeklies that folded and internet gigs where they never got around to paying me.
The only good news in all my job disasters was that Jonah stuck with me, from Oxford to Bozeman to Seattle. His grant from the National Science Foundation enabled him to work from anywhere. All I need is my laptop,
he would say, fluttering his arms like wings. I can go where the wind blows.
Then, when his grant ran out, he got a job at a cybersecurity startup in Seattle.
But our constant moves started to frustrate him, and he began making noises about settling down somewhere and putting down roots. When he turned thirty, he hinted that he felt ready for kids. We jokingly invented names for them: Jedediah for a boy, Jededette for a girl. I so wanted to have kids with Jonah. He would be the world’s sweetest dad! But I wanted to establish my career first.
I was afraid that Jonah would decide being with a journalist was just too much chaos, and if I had to move again, he wouldn’t come with me.
But I stubbornly stuck to my dream. When I woke up at three in the morning, panicked about our relationship and ever finding a newspaper job again, I imagined the stories I would write one day. Inevitably my mind would turn to one thing.
Livvy’s murder. After two years, her killer still hadn’t been brought to justice.
I would get out of bed, turn on my computer, and study the stories about the police investigation. I watched Livvy’s final video over and over, the one she was making the night she died. I kept thinking there might be a clue there that the police had missed.
I had first seen Livvy’s video the week after her death, when CNN got a copy. The video showed Livvy barefoot in tight jeans, wearing a purple T-shirt with gold letters that read, I Don’t Give a Fuck.
On TV the final word was blurred out.
On her bedside table was the big ceramic lamp. Next to it sat a metal nail file with a sharp pointed end. This nail file had a mystery attached: when the police arrived at Livvy’s room the next day, it had somehow disappeared.
Livvy began her video with: Holy shit. Tomorrow is spring break already, can you believe it? And another thing I can’t believe: I just hit five million viewers.
She gave a loud squeak on a kazoo. Then she said, But the weirdest thing is, all you guys are watching … and tonight’s video is gonna be like, super fucking personal. There’s something that’s really messing me up.
She blinked, like she was holding back tears. I had never seen Livvy be vulnerable in any of her videos before. I don’t know how to tell you guys this—
There was the sound of somebody knocking on her door. Livvy said, Fuck.
She stood up and for some reason pulled up the window shade, even though it was night. Did she want people to be able to see into the room, because she had a premonition of danger? But then why did she turn her camera off, which is what she did next?
I didn’t know. Because that Fuck
was the last word Livvy would ever say to anyone—except her killer.
The next day, the janitor noticed her door was slightly ajar even though it was spring break and she had presumably gone home. So he entered the room. Livvy lay on her bed, legs splayed, blood pooling from a crack in her skull.
At first, most people believed Livvy’s murder was a political act. The only disagreement was the details: Fox News speculated some angry, deranged liberal went over the edge, while MSNBC surmised the killer was one of the crazy alt-righters and white supremacist types that Livvy consorted with.
The other prime suspect was Livvy’s boyfriend, Brandon, a freshman linebacker reputed to be the best football player to attend Harvard in decades. As the old saying goes, It’s always the boyfriend.
And the murder did seem like a crime of passion. Livvy had been smashed in the head, so hard her skull cracked, by one blow from the heavy ceramic base of her bedside lamp. Not exactly a carefully planned act.
Personally, my money was on Danny, the alleged rapist. I didn’t know what his motive would be, but he was the one guy in Livvy’s life who had demonstrated a violent streak.
But then the Cambridge homicide detectives learned about Livvy’s secret affair with a Harvard sociology professor named William Reynolds. Reynolds was thirty, a rising academic star who had published two widely acclaimed books about people creating new identities on the internet. He and Livvy were an odd couple, not only because of the age difference, but also because his politics were pretty far left.
The evidence against Reynolds quickly mounted. Livvy’s blood spotted his brown leather jacket. His fingerprints matched the prints on the murder weapon, the ceramic lamp. There was also a fraught email exchange between him and Livvy from seven a.m. on the day of the murder.
Livvy: You were such a dick last night!
Reynolds: "What do you expect? You stood me up again."
Livvy: We can’t keep seeing each other. It’s fucking insane.
On the night she was killed, Livvy began recording her video at 10:58. At 10:59 somebody knocked on her door, presumably her killer. Most of the other students had already left for spring break, and no one heard any screaming fights or saw anything through Livvy’s window. But Reynolds admitted he went to her room that night—though he claimed it wasn’t until eleven thirty.
The police questioned him, before he got smart and asked for a lawyer. The entire country eventually got to see the interrogation video during the nationally televised trial. It showed Reynolds, looking every bit the Harvard professor with his high forehead and navy-blue chamois shirt from L.L. Bean, sitting across from Hope O’Keefe, a thin-lipped, short-haired homicide detective in her mid-fifties.
Olivia and I talked on the phone the morning before she was killed, and we made up,
Reynolds said, his eyes appealing for sympathy. But Detective O’Keefe just sat watching him like he was a lab animal. He squirmed in his plastic chair. I knew it was reckless, being a professor and going to her dorm room. But I’d had a couple drinks. The dorm would be mostly empty, and she was going away for a week, so I thought it would be romantic to surprise her.
Basically he was drunk and horny. And, I believed, so angry at Livvy for breaking up with him that he stormed into her room and ended up killing her.
In the video, he claimed Livvy’s door was unlocked. So he went in—and found her body. He felt her neck to see if she was still alive, which was how her blood got on his jacket.
How’d your fingerprints get on the murder weapon?
O’Keefe asked in a flat tone.
Reynolds shook his head, acting bewildered. I must have picked up the lamp. Maybe it was on top of her. I don’t remember—I was in shock. Then I panicked. Olivia wasn’t in any of my classes, so technically our relationship wasn’t against the Code of Conduct. But if people found out, I’d never get tenure. It might end my career. And …
And what?
O’Keefe prompted.
I was afraid I’d be suspected of hurting her. So I backed out of her room and ran.
I was positive his defense was bullshit and he was guilty. Six months after Livvy’s death, he was put on trial. On TV, they called it The Murder of the Century.
The whole world was sure the Killer Professor
would be convicted.
The jury found him not guilty on all counts.
Everybody was shocked. Livvy’s older brother Eric, a business student at Boston University, jumped over the railing from the spectators’ gallery and practically strangled Reynolds before three court officers pulled him off.
It seemed obvious why the jurors had acquitted Reynolds: They were from the People’s Republic of Cambridge,
where socialists are more common than Republicans. They loathed Olivia. They didn’t want to put a liberal professor in prison for killing her.
For me, the professor’s acquittal triggered bitter memories of Tata’s killer going unpunished. I ranted to Jonah and anyone else who would listen about the world’s injustices. I kept seeing that arrogant fuck in the gray suit who had killed Livvy smiling when the verdict was read. Like Eric, I wanted to physically rip him apart.
Late at night in the Seattle apartment where Jonah and I lived, I would dream of going to Boston and investigating on my own. What if I could find additional evidence against Reynolds? The Constitution says you can’t try somebody twice for the same crime, but there are ways around that. Since Livvy’s stepfather was a foreign diplomat, her murder was a federal crime. The FBI could arrest Reynolds for killing an internationally protected person.
I would write a story about the murder and make sure the whole world knew there was a way to still get justice for Livvy. Like I’d done with my Letter to the Editor when I was eight, I would use the power of the press to force the police to act.
Livvy would finally get to rest in peace, like my Tata and Livvy’s mom never did.
Of course, this was all a dream. I couldn’t fly out to Boston on spec, with no place to live, no real job, and zero money saved up.
But then it happened. I found out the managing editor of the Boston Clarion had grown up in Bozeman, so when they had an opening, I sent him my best clips from there. I still expected to get rejected; after all, he probably received a thousand applications. And I hadn’t exactly set the world on fire so far, getting laid off from small-town newspapers.
But I guess Dave was feeling nostalgic about his hometown, because I got the interview.
And the job.
And now here I was, in Boston.
Finally ready to pitch the story I’d been obsessed about for two years.
As I got ready to go back to Dave’s office, my heart started racing. I did a quick check in my compact: lipstick perfect, shoulder-length hair riding down just right. My new silk blouse looked good