And You Thought Being DEAD Was All There Was!
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Almost dying, leaves Susie in a confused world full of Ghosts and Spirits. Strangely, she can see the dead and discovers that she has the power to send them to the Gate, and thus the Afterworld. There seem to be an inordinate number of such Spirits crowding around her, demanding that she do her duty, but first she must learn what it is. With the
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And You Thought Being DEAD Was All There Was! - Evelyn C. Woodward
Chapter 1
Hey lady! Are you all right? Are you hurt?
I opened my eyes and shut them quickly. Light seared pain into the back of my eyeballs. My head was spinning, and I was pretty sure I was going to vomit. I didn’t know what was happening.
Lady! Can you hear me?
That voice was very annoying.
I took in a painful breath to try to speak. What?
I didn’t recognize my own voice. An unintelligible croak came out. I was beginning to feel more in my body and it was bad. I have never felt so much pain in my whole body. Maybe when my appendix burst. I thought it was bad, but this was much worse. These thoughts wandered through my brain. I think I was trying to avoid the reality that I was going to die.
Oh good! Stay with me here. You’ve been in an accident. You need to stay awake.
Accident? I didn’t remember any accident. It hurt to breathe. My ribs felt like fire wrapping around my heart. Shallow breaths.
Who?
I breathed out painfully.
Who? Me? I’m Peter Tait. I was driving the car. You ran out in front of me! Why did you do that? I tried to miss you, but...
Car? I ran in front of a car? That was stupid. I am not usually stupid. At least I didn’t think I was stupid. Hurt.
Yes, you have been hurt. You did a pinwheel off the hood of my car, and... Well, you don’t need the details right now. Stay with me and you will be all right.
He didn’t sound like he believed what he was saying. He sounded like he was afraid.
You hurt?
I managed to gasp. I tried to raise my arm over my eyes to block the burning light. Pain shot through my shoulder. My arm wouldn’t move.
Me? I... I’m all right.
He sounded confused. It’s you I’m worried about. You need to stay awake.
His voice took on an unpleasant whine. I wished that he would shut up and let me go into the oblivion that would be painless.
Can you hear that?
He interrupted my drifting thought.
I listened. I heard the familiar crackling of a fire. It made me think of the many camping trips I had gone on as a child. Was I on a camping trip? I couldn’t remember. It didn’t smell like a campfire. Beyond the sound of the fire, I heard sirens. They sounded so far away...
Don’t go to sleep!
He squawked.
How did he know?
Over here!
He yelled. The sirens stopped abruptly.
Here’s one!
A strong male voice called.
I heard the clank and clatter of the stretcher.
She looks pretty battered up. We need the backboard and neck brace.
The deep voice said. Ma’am, can you hear me?
Yes,
I managed on an exhale.
Good. Can you tell me where it hurts?
I didn’t think I had enough breath to answer. All... over.
Okay. This will be rough, but we will go as quickly as possible. Ready? One, two, three...
Pain! Shocking, burning, throbbing, stabbing, like I had been run over by a steamroller pain. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I let it go after they stopped moving me. Still shallow breaths. My lungs hurt.
Let’s go,
the deep voice said to people around him.
What about the other one?
Someone asked.
We can’t do anything for him. Team Two can deal with it.
.
I was lifted. Blood rushed to my head as my feet were tilted up. Then it went the other way when they bumped the stretcher into the vehicle. I guess that meant my circulation was working, but it really hurt. I gasped in pain, which made my lungs scream in waves of agony. I was bumped along into a noticeably cooler place. Inside the ambulance, I thought. Better. I started to drift again.
No no no! Don’t go to sleep! You know you can’t do that! You’ll die! Stay with me!
Shit, he was annoying.
Pete,
I breathed. Shut up.
What was that?
The deep voice asked. There’s no Pete here. Now, I have to check your eyes.
He pulled my unwilling eyelids up and shone a light in them. The light was bright, but not as bright as the earlier light. All I could see was bright circles with big black dots in the center. I tried to see the man, but the blackness covered everything. I couldn’t see. Not the deep voiced medic; not Pete, who must’ve been behind him and not the other guy who was poking painful needles into my arm.
I can’t see!
I squeaked. That used too much air. I had to make it clear. I didn’t want more damage from their bungling around. I breathed painfully into my tender lungs, and let it out more clearly. I can’t see!
Really?
The deep voice responded. He took the painful light away. We’d better be safe and cover your eyes, ma’am.
I felt the gauze being wrapped around my head and pads covering my eyes. The darkness was welcome. Why did it still feel like my eyes were burning? I sighed and let myself drift away from the pain.
Lady! You can’t sleep! I told you that! You have to stay here!
Why?
I whispered.
Excuse me ma’am? I didn’t quite hear you,
the deep voice asked.
"Because you may have concussion or something! All the books I’ve read say that an injured person should be kept awake until a doctor sees them. And, no offense to you boys, but these guys are not doctors."
I tried to turn my head, but the neck brace prevented movement. I could move my eyes behind the bandages. Hovering over me were four bright lights, tinted red, probably from the blood in my eye lids. The one at my left shoulder seemed to coincide with the deep voice. The one over my head must be Pete. I had not heard enough to single out the other two. It felt strange to visualize a person like that...
The ambulance turned a corner. I felt my body shift painfully to one side. The agony sent me into an oblivion that even Pete could not penetrate.
Wake up Suzette! You have to wake up. They are all waiting for you to wake up. If you don’t wake up soon, they will think you had brain damage. You don’t want brain damage, so wake up!
That annoying voice! I vaguely remembered hearing the voice before, and it was annoying, then. Who was this guy, always talking in my ear, disturbing my sleep. I breathed in a lung full of air and remembered - I had been in an accident. My ribs hurt; my lungs felt burned; my skin felt like it had been peeled off of my body and whatever was left could not hold me together anymore.
That’s it! Wake up! You can do it Suzette!
Shut up,
I mumbled. Who are you?
I’m Pete!
He sounded surprised. Peter Tait. I’ve been so worried about you!
Why?
I asked.
Because I’m the one who hit you with my car. I tried to swerve around you, but the front bumper still clipped you and sent you flying. Why did you run out in front of me like that?
.
"Hit by a car? I can’t remember that." My voice was croaking so bad, I could hardly understand myself. How he could was beyond me.
That’s okay, Suzette. The doctor said you had head trauma. You may remember more later.
Why are you calling me that?
What? Suzette? That’s what they wrote on your chart. Isn’t that right?
Not if I can avoid it. My friends call me Susie. My family calls me Sue.
Talking took my breath away. I was so tired!
I drifted back toward the peace of sleep, but Pete squawked again.
Susie! You can’t sleep yet! After the doctor sees you, then you can sleep. Doctor! Nurse! She’s awake! Why don’t you come?
Pete, let me be,
I mumbled, becoming all too aware of the pain in my body. It hurts.
I know that. Believe me, all I want to do is help you. Nurse!
Pull the cord,
I groaned.
"Right! The cord! Where is the cord? Oh, you have it in your hand. There’s a button under your right thumb. Push the button. Susie! Push the button!"
Hmm?
I was drifting away again, but his shout made my hand spasm, and I pushed the button.
Seconds or minutes later, the room was full of people. The sound of them was overwhelming. The redness from their light in my eyes hurt like staring into the sun.
Hello Miss LaMarre. I am Dr. Menzies. You have been in an accident. There is some damage, but we are confident that we can fix it.
His voice was cool and soothing. With a voice like that, he must know what he is doing. You have some internal injuries, Miss LaMarre. We are going to have to operate to patch you up. Do you understand?
Internal injuries,
I repeated, barely croaking it out. From the feel of my guts, I could readily believe my internals were injured. Operate. When?
In about twenty minutes. We also have an ophthalmologist coming to inspect your eyes.. Don’t worry. We will have you better in no time.
A cool voice is nice and all, but I suspected that it would take much longer than no time to make me better.
Pete?
I asked.
There was no response. They must’ve moved him out of the room. Good. Maybe I could sleep. I felt myself being lifted and moved. Then everything went black....
*
S...s...s...Susie, Beautiful Susie, you’re the only g...g...g...girl that I adore. When the m...moon shines over the cowshed, I’ll be waiting at the k...k...k...kitchen door.
What an old song! I remember my grandmother singing that to me. Of course, she had a better voice. She emanated love when she sang to me. This voice... well, he couldn’t really sing. His voice was scratchy and off key. He sounded kind of nice, though. Except that he woke me up. Why couldn’t he let me sleep? I turned my head toward the voice and groaned.
Hey Susie! Welcome back! You’re going to be alright! Isn’t that great?
Great? Hmmm! Who?
My throat felt raw and my voice was rasping painfully over the damaged tissue.
You remember me! I’m Pete. Peter Tait. We met under some very trying circumstances, but it will be better now.
Pete. Right. I can’t see.
I said it, but it wasn’t really true. I could see the form of him as a reddish light through my closed eyelids. I could see him move closer to the bed. Weird. I’d never noticed people giving off a light before.
Your eyes are still covered with bandages. They are worried that your retinas were damaged by the fire.
Fire? What fire?
Well, after my car hit you, I lost control and ran into a gas station. There was a fire, but we got you away. Oh! Here’s the doctor back.
I heard the sound of the door opening and people coming in. Through my eyelids. I could see the bright shapes of three separate people.
Hello, Miss LaMarre. I’m Dr. Menzies. We met before your operation. You may not remember, you were quite out of it. Everything went well. We stitched up several bleeders in there and put everything back in its rightful place. Now, all you have to do is rest and give your body time to heal.
My eyes?
I asked, looking towards his light.
Doctor Enns had a good look inside your eyes. He wants us to keep them covered for a few days so they can heal. He will be in on Friday to take the bandages off. It is best if you leave the bandages in place until then. All right?
.
All right,
I agreed, watching one of the other people move away from the group. I heard water running, then the person came over to the other side of the bed and put something on the table in front of me.
Here’s some fresh water for you,
a female voice came from the figure. I saw where she was, but, of course, I couldn’t see the water. Oh well. Later.
I am confident that we will have you up and around in no time,
the Doctor said, patting my leg before he turned to leave.
That is encouraging!
Pete said from beside the bed after the doctor left.
I’m seeing the strangest things,
I said.
Your eyes are covered. How can you see?
I don’t know. People are shining through my eyelids as if they were full of light.
Light? Like who?
The doctor for one; his nurse who got me water and a third person who just stood behind the doctor. And you.
Third person? There was only the doctor and a nurse, and no one got water. You already have water on your table.
So, I’m seeing things and hearing things? Hallucinating? How hard did I bump my head anyway?
I don’t know. By the time I found you, you were fading fast.
I watched Pete pace back and forth in front of my bed. He was upset. He seemed to have lost some memories himself. Let’s see if we can jar some of our memories loose, okay?
I asked.
Like what?
Like what you had for breakfast.
Boiled eggs and toast. You?
Oatmeal with flax, cooked in apple juice.
Apple juice? Is that good?
Yes. Very. Add a little cinnamon and it is wonderful. After breakfast, what did you do?
I grabbed my briefcase with my laptop, and I went out to my car.
Where were you going?
To work. I work at High Tech Industries, HiTi.
HiTi? Aren’t they the ones that invented that new computer game console?
Yep. I did that.
Nice. I read about it in Popular Science. What did you do then?
I drove to work... at least, I tried. When I got to Ellis and Wall, you ran out into the street right in front of me! I swerved to miss you, but I couldn’t quite make it. The car hit you! I was terrified that I had killed you!
It’s okay. You didn’t kill me. What happened then?
"The car was out of control. It hit something... there was fire. I went to you as quickly as I could. Why did you run into the street?"
I don’t remember.
I said, feeling confused. After breakfast, I left to go to work. I’m an artist. I’ve been teaching glass bead making. I had to go to the Stained Glass place on Sargent. I didn’t get there... I was waiting for a bus, and this man came up to me. He flashed a knife and started talking dirty...
As I talked, I knew my respiration and heart rate were increasing. I didn’t know I was being monitored. A nurse came in.
What’s wrong here?
She asked as she checked my blood pressure.
We were just trying to figure out what happened,
I said. It was fascinating, being able to see her moving through my closed eyelids and the bandages. I got scared all over again.
Listening to my words, I wondered how she could understand my hoarse voice. I could barely understand myself.
You were scared?
The nurse asked. Before the car hit you?
Yes. A disgusting man with a knife was threatening me. I tried to run away, but he followed me. That’s why I ran into the street. I was watching him, not the cars.
Oh, dear. I hope you can give a description of him to the police. We need men like him off the streets. But first, you need to calm down, and heal. Sleep and let nature make it better.
Nature! How trite!
Pete said from the other side of the bed.
Hush,
I said, turning to him.
That’s right,
the nurse agreed. I will dim the lights to let people know not to make noise. Ring the bell if you need anything. The doctor will be back later today.
She went out, totally ignoring Pete.
I knew I was nondescript, but I’m feeling more and more like a fly on the wall than a person,
Pete snorted. But she’s right. Sleep now. I’ll be back later.
I saw Pete move to the door that the nurse had used. His light faded the same way hers had. Feeling exhausted, I drifted back into sleep.
Chapter 2
Every time I woke up, I had to go to the bathroom. The nurses were usually good when I pushed the button for help. After all, I couldn’t see. What was I supposed to do? I found out on the second morning. I pushed the button, and someone rushed in, turned it off and left without saying a word. We did this at least five times before I gave up and got out of bed to go by myself. I was gratified that the pain in my stomach had eased and I could stand more or less upright. I was impressed by the pain medicines they were giving me. Any previous pain problems I have had, they did not work as well.
Looking through my eyelids and the bandages, everything was black, other than the red lighted forms of the people around me. My room was empty and I was in the dark. First, I stubbed my toe on a chair that was pushed close to my bed. Another step away, I felt a pull on my hand, reminding me of the intravenous tubes they had put in me. I carefully felt along the tubes back to the pole that the medicine bags were hanging from. The pole was on wheels, so I grabbed it and pushed it in front of me. Unfortunately, I was turned around. Which way was the bathroom? I turned and pushed the pole in every direction that I could, finally finding an open space that I could step into. I stabbed the same toe on one of the wheels. That hurt! Somehow, I managed to get into the hallway. I only knew where I was by the number of people’s lights I could then see. The place seemed to be extremely crowded. Assuming that there was furniture or contraptions connected with most of the people, I carefully stepped around them, apologizing if they flinched. I didn’t want to hurt their toes the way I hurt mine. There were so many people, it was hard to dodge them with any speed.
Miss LaMarre! What are you doing?
I recognized one of the nurses voices.
Mary?
I asked.
That’s right. What do you need?
The washroom! I can’t find it!
Oh dear, come this way.
She put my free hand on her arm and led me back to my room. I don’t understand. Why didn’t you ring the buzzer?
I did. Five times. Someone kept turning it off.
I know I sounded whiny, but I still really had to pee.
Turned it off? No one’s supposed to do that. Do you have any idea who it was?
I looked straight at her. No. No smell... no sound... just her light.
Light? Here we are. Can you manage from here?
Yes,
I said, moving as quickly as I could under the circumstances into the small cubicle. I sat there for a few minutes, catching my breath and my bearings. When I opened the door again, Mary was patiently waiting to help me back to bed.
Thanks Mary,
I sighed. I can’t believe how quickly I get tired!
Your body has been through a lot. Healing requires energy.
Mary sounded like she wasn’t paying attention to her words. When she had me comfortable, she became more attentive. What did you mean about the ‘light’,
she asked.
I don’t know,
I mumbled. Her interest was making me uncomfortable. People seem to be glowing a reddish light in my eyes.
Really?
She sounded sceptical.
Maybe it’s an aura or something,
I suggested, hoping she would drop it.
People don’t usually see auras, let alone when they are blindfolded.
I know. I’ve never seen auras before. I don’t know what I’m seeing. Probably nothing. Or damaged nerve endings firing off randomly and my brain is interpreting them as an image?
That sounded good to me as I said it. I would have to remember it for future questions.
I suppose. I’ve never heard of it before. I wonder what Dr. Enns will say.
I don’t know,
I said, rolling over on my side and hoping she would go away.
*
Susie! Sue... are you awake?
I am now,
I mumbled, recognizing the voice. It was Kimmy, my best friend. I was sleeping with my eyes buried in a pillow and my free arm over them to block out the light of so many people coming and going in my room. I rolled toward her voice and saw her light bouncing at the foot of the bed. Hey Kim.
Susie, what happened!? Are you all right? Why are your eyes covered? Does it hurt? What can I do?
I’m all right,
I said. I always knew she was bouncy. I hadn’t realized exactly how much she really bounced until I saw her as a red silhouette. She moved so much I thought she was vibrating. It’s okay, Kim. Are you all right?
"Me? What could be wrong with me? I get a call from the hospital, telling me that my best friend was in an accident and could I bring her toiletries to her... you.... My heart almost stopped! And after making that pronouncement, they wouldn’t tell me your condition, because I wasn’t immediate family! So I don’t know what happened!"
She stopped for a breath, but before I could say anything she was off again.
What kind of accident? You weren’t driving, you took the bus. You look a mess, you know...
Partway through her speech, a figure came into the room.
Hi Sue. Who’s this?
Hi Pete. This is my best friend, Kimberly Foton. She talks nonstop when she is excited or upset. I would say she is more upset today than excited.
Kim stopped talking mid-word. I saw her shape turn around, looking around the room. She even went over to the doorway and looked out into the hallway. She came back to the bed and stopped right beside me. Who are you talking to?
Pete,
I said. Pete was unfortunately driving the car that I ran into. He has been worried about me ever since.
Hello Kimberly,
Pete said pleasantly.
Pete? Car...? You ran into a car!? Are you nuts? You could get killed! Why would you do that?
That’s what I keep asking,
Pete agreed.
I was being chased,
I sighed. I thought that guy was going to hurt me. Or kill me! I was more afraid of him than anything else.
Oh my God! Did you report him? Have you identified him to the police? Are they looking for him or is he still out there? What are they going to do?
Does she always talk like that?
Pete asked. I could see him lean across the bed to look more closely at her.
Yes,
I giggled. Kimmy, slow down. You talk too fast!
I know that,
she said, looking around the room again. She walked over to the window to look out. Then she turned back to me. I was turned in her direction. She tiptoed silently across the room while watching me. I turned with her.
How do you know where I am?
She demanded. Can you see through those bandages?
Not exactly,
I said. Shhh, Kimmy. Come closer. I don’t think I want the doctors to know about this.
About what? What happened to you? And why?
I don’t know. I don’t know anything except that I almost died and when I woke up, even though my eyes are covered up, I can see people through everything.
See how? What do they look like?
They are, like, silhouettes of red light.
Red like fire?
No... more like red from the blood in my eye lids. I would think people’s light would be more of a white, wouldn’t it?
And you don’t want the doctor to know because...
They already think I’m strange. I heard them talking about my necklace as if it was something spooky! They wanted it off for the surgery, but couldn’t get it off.
So, there’s no clasp. So what?
"I don’t know! I would have been upset if they had broken it, but I got the impression that they couldn’t break it. Gramma would have rolled over in her grave if that happened! She put it on me... I was lost in thought for a second, remembering my Grandmother putting the fine gold chain over my head and telling me to never, ever lose it. It held a tiny, intricate key which she told me was the key to her heart. Just the thought of someone trying to take it off of me made me feel sick.
I just want to go home to sleep. There are way too many people coming and going in here."
Just then, a person entered the room moving quickly, I assumed a nurse. I watched her bustle to the bed opposite mine, grab something, take it to the sink, fill it with water and return it to the bedside table. Then she bustled out.
That’s strange,
I said.
What’s strange?
Kim asked.
That nurse. She got fresh water for that bed, but the bed is empty.
What nurse? No one came into the room.
What? Are you sure? Check the glass over there. Is there water in it? Cold water?
Kim went to the spot and did find a glass of cold water. "To be this cold, it has to have been fresh. But I didn’t see her."
Neither did I,
Pete added. And I was watching.
"If neither of you saw her, then why did I? I’m getting a little freaked out."
What do you mean, neither of you? Who else is here?
I saw her turn around again, looking around the room.
Pete is here! I introduced you! Kimmy, this is not funny.
I’m not laughing, Sue.
Neither am I!
Pete said, moving closer to Kim. He reached out to touch her, but before he connected, she jumped up, heading for the door.
I’ll be right back,
she said.
Now what,
I sighed.
That’s what I want to know,
Pete said. People around here have been ignoring me, but I thought that was because they were so busy.
There has to be a reasonable explanation,
I said, watching Pete pace the room again.
*
Kim returned sometime later. To me, in the dark, it felt like hours. She was no longer bouncing. Her movement was more like a cat that had been in a fight. Jumpy and ready to run.
Kim?
I asked, not sure it was her who had entered the room.
Yes,
she said quietly. Too quietly. Is he still here?
Who? Pete? Yes he is here. Why? What’s going on?
In your accident, you ran into the street, just as a guy, Peter Tait, was driving by. He was going too fast and you ran right in front of him. He swerved. Hard. He almost missed you. His back end clipped you. The car was out of control. There wasn’t the usual traffic to slow it down. The car spun into the gas pumps at the Co-op gas station there. It exploded. The car and everything in it... gone.
Pete...?
Died instantly.
What!?
Pete kind of stumbled over to a chair and sat down heavily.
Oh no! That can’t be!
I felt my heart thumping in my chest. Pete? Are you all right?
I’m...
If he’s here now, that means he’s a ghost... or something. Doesn’t he know he died?
Kimmy! Hush... please!
I don’t feel different. The world still feels solid to me.... I don’t understand! I have to think.
He got up and walked out of the room.
Well, now you’ve done it,
I sighed. He’s gone.
Me? I’m not the one talking to dead people! How could he have not known that he was dead?
He was so worried about me, he never thought about himself. I am ready to have these damn bandages off. What day is it?
Friday. Why?
Doctor Enns is supposed to take them off Friday... Then maybe they will let me go home.
Home! What happened to your clothes?
She bustled over to the cupboards near the door. I heard the doors open and close. Oh dear! Just as I thought. Your clothes are ruined! They are burned! How injured are you?
I don’t know. They operated for internal injuries. They are afraid my eyes were burned....
I couldn’t remember. My skin did feel like I had a bad sunburn and my belly felt punched. That wasn’t too bad.
I’ll go get you some clothes,
Kim said as she hurried toward the door.
I was left, wondering what was going on. Why? Why wasn’t I hurt worse? Why could I see people? Why could I see Pete? I lay back and dozed for a while.
Chapter 3
O kay, Miss LaMarre. I’m Doctor Enns. We are going to check your eyes now.
I awoke with a start. I couldn’t believe I had actually slept. I lifted my arm to rub my head, but I could only move a few inches. I flexed my arms and discovered that I was tied down with padded bracelets. What’s going on?
I cried. Let me go!
Panic edged into my voice. I am normally a calm person, but don’t tie me down. Never tie me down. That may be one of the few things in the world that would set me off in a blind rage or panic.
It’s all right, Miss LaMarre!
A man’s voice soothed. We have been concerned about you. We don’t want you to hurt yourself.
Hurt myself? Why would I do that?
When a person hallucinates, they may be led to do almost anything.
Hallucinate? What are you talking about?
You have been seeing people, or something, right through your bandages. You talk to people when there is no one there.
Memories of the last few days flowed over me. Doctors reassuring me; nurses helping me eat and go to the bathroom; and Pete being there, talking for hours, helping the time, and the pain pass through me without the stress. I sensed that this doctor was not the type of person to believe what was happening to me. People can’t see through eyelids period, let alone when covered by bandages. He would never understand.
"You’re a doctor! You know that an injured brain interprets nerve signals as anything it can. Take these bandages off and give me something real to see. Please."
All right. Stay calm. Nurse, please dim the lights.
He was gentle about removing the many layers of gauze. Too gentle. He even rolled it up as he went. Maybe that is why he had me tied up. I would have had no restraint at all. I would have reached up and yanked the damn things right off. Finally, he was down to the pads over my eyelids. He pulled them off and gently wiped my eyelids with a wet cloth.
All right. Don’t rush it. Try to open your eyes.
They feel caked shut,
I muttered, wishing I could rub the stuff away.
They are. It is just your body pushing dirt out.
He wiped